#ok i know what im doing this weekend
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obligatory beach divorce doodling
bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut
#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#xmen#xmen movies#xmen first class#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#'snap i thought you were drawing old cherik this weekend' so did i but i was inflicted with visions sorry </3#i have my lil 92 comic sketched so ill do that tomorrow. not finish it but ill work on it 💀#i wsa just gonna draw the first thing but then i figureed i might as well draw Most of the beach-divorce-related things i want to#just so i could put it all on one post. however this is a lie and i know ill wanna doodle more beach stuff#the first drawing Unsurprisingly was motivated BY the xmen 41 legion quest cover- at the very least the total blackout of erik's face#i wanna draw more of erik using his powers .. i wanna figure out how i wanna draw the effect etc etc#i was just gonna redraw the cover but i already liked the sketch i did of the first thing so. here we are#plus i figure someones already done a redraw of the cover but if anyone cares ill finish my version ig LOL#as for the comic ermmm it was just an excuse to draw erik with glowing eyes </3 and fading-glowing eyes </3#thats why i didnt draw the whole. Choking Moira bit. but i wouldve if i was redrawing the whole scene#kinda wish i did now that i think of it cause it coulda looked cooler prob but oh well maybe in like. three months when i redraw this#for exactly five cents ill redraw the whole beach divorce erlkjealkaje i can see it so clearly in my mind#what if first class was a comic drawn by a freak thatd be wild#but yeah thats why everything look rough as christ these were just supposed to be silly lil thangs#'silly things' and its beach divorce OK.#ok bye im gonna do my homework
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...
#ugh. fuck me im so tired. im getting sucked back into that workaholic mindset and now my body hurts and my nerves are fying. but it feels#good to b productive. if only i didnt have to teach and could just work with data :-(#anyway. the last 2 weeks have been good in that i feel like im actually hitting my stride a bit#bc we're seeing cool things in our genomes and its gonna b really fun to explore. and i met with the terrifying#prof who is on my committee to pitch a project for a final in her class and it seems it went over well. it was kinda funny bc we were#meeting and she was like: so how would u tell which gene was lost 1st? the phytochrome or the genes that r triggered by activation? and i#was like: uhhhhh idk. and then my advisor walked by and she grabbed him and asked him the same question and he was like: idk we'll have to#figure it out. which made me feel way better abt not knowing lol. then my superior lab mate asked me a question abt taking confocal images#and i was actually able to figure out what her issue was. and my old advisor was asking me if i knew anyone to ask for using a pam on cyanos#and i was like: here is what i think my advisor would say and linked her a paper. then i asked my advisor and he said what i expected and#linked the paper that id already sent. so im like. ok. ok. maybe i actually sometimes do kno what im doing. sorta.#and then my old advisor said she was so proud of me. and i was like aw. its so funny bc my relationship is so different with my new advisor#hes great but its all very professional. with my old advisor i would text her after hours bc she was a workaholic like me and went on long#car rides and handed out Halloween candy with her. she was more hands on and doesnt have kids so work is her life. its just interesting#so things have been going well. but there arent enough hours in the day. and my committee meeting is in like 16 days. and i am afraid for#that but not as afraid as i was in april when i had a full on breakdown and canceled it the day before it was set to happen lol#itll b fine. i just have to work thru the weekend so i can get my preproposal done. and prey that the fucking splitstree download site will#start working bc i want to do gene networks dammit#unrelated
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the vague sad
#idk whats happening#but i dont feel ok? and its night so im supposed to feel ok#cause night is when everyones asleep and i have no distractions or obligations#but somethings wrong and idk what it is#i dont take up enough space#i cant help anyone#no one will ever love me in the way that i love everyone#because im a lazy lying piece of shit#my utterly fascinating life#i cant do another week#i really cant#i will have to but im gonna feel hallucinate myself into sick all of monday cause thats been happening for the last few weeks#whatever we have a long weekend in a couple weeks#and like. i know my crush was never gonna love me cause i already kinda knew she was straight#but god. to have it confirmed#and the rest of the gay girls my age arent interested in me#no ones ever been interested in me#why the hell would they#im pathetic
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Hate thissss I feel like I haven't been properly productive today (somehow posting two art things Doesn't register properly in my mind) so I wanna stay up to get as much as I can down, but I also need to go to sleep in case I'm called in tomorrow because fuuuuuck going to work on little sleep that shit sucks. But also, the possibility of being called in makes me wanna stay up even more, so I can finish art in case I don't have time tomorrow. So now I'm sat up at 12:30 tired as shit but unable to draw or go to bed. The never-ending cycle of hell.
#ramblings#i wish they had someone else to call in on short notice. i dont hate coming in extra but i hate getting a text at like 7:10 when kennel#hours in the morning start 7:30. i knowww i should probably set a boundary but like. fuck#and you know what i wish my parents bothered to fucking understand how frustrating it is being called in so frequently#my mom specifically. i bring stuff with work up and its like a broken record. `if you go in all the time youll be seen as reliable!`#when i was talking about getting a day off to see my brothers marching last weekend she was like#`see what did i tell you? you make yourself reliable and theyll let you take off what you need` talking like i just asked for it off#after it had already been scheduled. girl i had to ask people to cover me still. i just#i hate it. i havent told her i told them i didnt wanna work clinic hours because she'd drill me about why#its just frustrating !! and when i say my genuine feelings its like she needs to correct me. like im thinking wrong.#this is why i had to fucking snap before setting the boundary of not covering clinic hours. because its always#`do what they ask every time because youll seem reliable` from my mom no matter fucking what. and then i already have issues#setting boundaries in general because i dont want to upset others or make them mad at me#ok sorry this has turned into. a wholeass vent. im just. at my wits end can you tell?#at this rate im really just getting nothing done. im going to bed#dont worry about me ill be fine. i just need to let it out and this is kinda my only outlet rn
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Oh to be Suzanne Collins and have little social media presence and to write a book regarding whatever current societal trend is bothering her at the moment.
#i am feeling. bothered. this weekend#i am hanging out with my wealthy cousins for their bridal shower--thank christ they are not asking me to bring anything--and tired#everyone always talking about their accomplishments and im liek... pls im wanting to go back to my boyfriend and cat right now#everyone asking what i'm doing for work--because that's all ppl seem to care about in this goddamn family--and i have to say#'i'm looking for something else'#like yoo i already lied a whole year about freelancing when really i was attempting to freelance but not getting anywhere#like i was all 'oh i make x a month just workig on my computer!' when really i was making diddly squat#end this fucking generational cycle of lying about yourself because you have to prove to everyone you are ok#i want the suzanne collins life where i can do my writing hobby without putting this fake social media persona on where i police my thought#and only post about cutesy happy things (since my genre is cozy fantasy; i have no intelligence to write anything more complex#and no passion to write anythign other than sf/f#BUT SHOUTOUT TO MY COUSIN'S HUSBAND WHO ASKED IF I READ AND MENTIONED THE WHEEL OF TIME SERIES AND MY NEURONS ACTIVATED LIKE 'HAVE YOU HEAR#OF PRATCHETT AND BRANDON SANDERSON AND GAIMAN? I CAN GIVE YOU RECS#but other than that i have to deal with my aunts bragging about their kids#one of my aunts is kind of colder and i always got this weird vibe from her like i had to earn her love which... ok. whatever. i also think#she considers me very dumb#the only bright side to any of this shit is im not in college anymore thank christ#all my cousins who are in college still have this... 'energy' around them#you know? that 'wanna kms low key but im pretending to smile and laugh' energy#delete later#tw family
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up next on chapter 36 of idol sengen… _(:3 」∠)_
#(my toxic trait is that i’ll complain about my work endlessly but still end up doing it anyway… eventually.)#there’s rant 1 (ft. a need to deduce what asuna is saying in full) and rant 2 (which is available in full but still…)#there’s also another mona-rambling session in chapter 38… that im not touching with a 50 foot pole#(all you need to know for that mona-rambling [about frusu] is that mona’s frusu oshi is all of them)#(and that she thinks miyu is like *the* pinnacle of centres in idol groups)#(also someone won a junior dance competition but idk who bc it’s obscured lmao)#can i outsource these panels for a corn chip lmaoooo#m. maybe i should’ve actually worked on this while i was still unemployed last month huh…#bc excuse me company wdymmmmmm im starting work next monday?? the interview was just this monday hello?#ig the interviewer was legit when she said ‘so if i asked you if you can start work next monday—’ huh…#sigh… maybe ch 36 next month then… i’ll do my best over the weekend thoughhhhh#seriously though why is this volume so text heavy l m a o i really wanna get to chapter 40 but…#and then there’s the hard to clean text boxes which… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#…though i guess i should just count myself lucky that the chapters are still short enough to fit into a single post (with the image limits)#but dang. i just realised that my manga sengen thing has a page on manga updates lmao#who put it there lmaooooo and why is it only up till vol 2? wait. no. what. why does it link to manga.dex#bc dang. someone really had the time to dl the thing image by image? no wonder why they stopped after vol 2…#guess i might as well say why i dont want people to reupload my tls… since we’re in the final stretch and all#so. aside from the obvious ‘idw the creators to find out about it’… i probably made a ton of mistakes while tling it. esp in the early chaps#so i’d like to. y’know. have the chance to update the tls where possible. i’ve done that a couple of times already tbh.#like with rippei’s name post-vol 4 release. and some of the typesetting is p. gross in the early chaps tbvh#i swear tling idol sengen has made me incredibly conscious of grammar and typesetting like you wouldnt believe#esp with official tls… fan tls will always be perfect to me no matter how wonky the wording bc it’s hard but honest work yk#official tls (esp a.i tls) get no concessions from me bc it’s their job that they’re getting paid to do yk.#in any case (if you’ve read this far) if you see any mistakes in the tl please lemme know~~~ please dont hold back on your criticisms ok~~~?#just sound ‘em out in dms here or sth. don’t worry~~~ i won’t eat y’all if you try to correct me~~~~~ unless you’re the md reuploader (jk)#and ik i disabled comments on the other blog (or tried to at least) but that’s bc idw bots to flood the comments bc that’s annoying as he—#anyways sorry for the idol sengen wait (if anyone was waiting for it…) i’ll improve on my work ethic… tomorrow. maybe.
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kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)
#guys i have worth??? im actually a human being deserving of basic respect and SHOULD be apologised to if i am not given that??? holy shit#ok but like i actually was pretty mad and i just wasn't going to talk to them when the weekend ended but to think they'd actually apologise#guys i am a friend worth apologising to omg this is so nice#(<- was fuming over how i was a “friend” not even worthy of her basic decency and respect an hour ago)#LIKE IM STILL MAD#okay i actually cant vaguepost to save my life but basically this girl whos a friend i recently got close to and formed a friendgroup with#shes really fucking whiny and ive been tolerating it for so long but on friday she was extremely whiny and rude whenever i just asked a#simple question#and it's really draining and humiliating to be spoken to like poop on the sidewalk in front of other people#but anyway other than that i was really upset because during pe i wanted to show her my hip injury cuz i thought it was funny#(it wasn't diagnosed yet i just felt my joints moving weirdly)#and like that involves her putting her hand on my hip#so i asked her to do that then she started whining about how she doesn't want to touch me and that i'm weird for asking ppl to touch me#then she started telling like the 3 other ppl around us i was weird and wanted ppl to touch me#then this other cool girl overheard and looked at us funny i guess cuz then the friend said 'haha now [cool girls name] is also laughing'#i was so fucking embarrassed and humiliated i still want to tear up thinking about it#like are you actually my friend wtf i don't even need enemies w a friend like you#i wanted to cry so bad then#ugh i hate it#like you couldve just said no thanks bro what is ur problem#this just made me realise how much i hate how she talks to me sometimes#and i know i need to stop surrounding myself with negative vibes in order to feel happy#but its still so frustrating#we were doing so well the other day and google meeting everyday#then this happened and then she got mad and started ignoring me on the way home#bro idk i hate ts i should just stop making friends#rant
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It's here!!! <333
#im so upset i cant immediately start reading it yet#i know once i start i wont be able to put it down and i have very important time sensitive things to do 😭#i may be able to start this weekend but monday for sure!!!#tsc#the sunshine court#aftg#fuck i gotta go unearth and charge my kindle actually to read it on#go for the full experience cause thats what ive read aftg on originally and most of the rereads#ok dont let me forget to pack the kindle guys
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From the same Storm mini-series 🥹
THE FAM 🥺
#snap chats#logan can you not look like a moody teenage boy for five minutes you are ALMOST 200 years old <- obsessed regardless#AND OFC MY BEST FRIEND CHARLES. i always love it when he looks so quaint ..... very polite i'm treating him to hors d'oeuvres#hey real quick did you guys know i hate french. worst language its not close it got me PISSED#i got three sibs and those FREAKS all took french in school. freaks the lot of them#Unrelated Ramble Asided thank you for treating me to a snippet of what else ill come to read from these issues !!!#i cannot wait.... ive been embroiled in krakoa so much it's nice to take a break sometimes#i mean i . already do that with the 60's comics but ive been neglecting them a lil Ill Admit#on that note tho i finished the first volume of legion of x and i'll prob start/finish the second one this weekend so that'll be fun :]#then i got my First Class issues + this storm run ... i do be readin a lot its a very exciting time for my brain i think#ihave once again rambled for a solid year LMAOOOO ok im done fr now. im hungry#thank you again for this gift my friend i cant wait to see it in its context 👯♀️👯♀️
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For every vote, I spend ten minutes on that topic.
#Im trying something new here#this might be funny#might not be#i make no promises as to if im actually able to do these things or not just cuz I don't know if I'll have enough time? But i will try XD#(might be tomorrows tomorrow. or the weekend. cuz class and dnd take priority)#can you tell what I want to do /j#I think im funny#(its ok if im not)#feel free to ignore this completly#polls
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one year ago today i made my otgw beast!greg cosplay for halloween. i RLLY don't know what im gonna dress as this year
#i was thinking about scary marlowe but idk guys 🤕#grips brain. aaaggghhhhh#maybe i'll just pull a costumw out of my ass this year (go thru my closet and cry)#tbf i did that when it Rained and my and ex and i were in a pumpkin patch and my cpstume got ruined so. hmmm#ugghhhh guys halloween is on a TUESDAY#thats my busiest day 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂#maybe i'll just do vladimir tod again but. make it spooky somehow WHAGHAA#or i'll just wear pajamas its ok 👍#tbh maybe i will just Do that. who needs a costume anyways i just wanna be cozy WHAGAHA#rambling#i recreated the entirety of the unknown in the sims 4#btw#this is what i do with my life instead of college classwork#omg so halloween is on a tuesday right? guess what else is on a tuesday this year#MY BIRTHDAY#im gonna. AGAGGHH#the good news is during the weekend im going 2 the ren faire for my birthdsy DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITED I AM FOR REN FAIRE THIS YEAR#GOMNA GO AT LEAST THREE TIMSS OK I DONT CARE IF I GO BROKE
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---------------------------------------- im. oh im..............
#ghost's submissions#ghosts rambles#MY HEAD. OUGGHHHHH#dude i am FULL of ideas. i know what im doing this weekend#ok being fr. i saw his tengu design few months ago and because i like birds a lot i really liked it#and THEN. DIVINITY IS FEEDING MY BRAIN WITH SCENARIOS...... AND NOW IM LIKE. OK IMMMMM#guys is it possible to stop hating a character affectionately and start liking them wholeheartedly...#GAWWWWWDDDD
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whats up fuckers i got a job lined up for when schools out lets fucking goooooooooo!!!!!!
#ramblies#babys first job lmfao. third ever application and first ever interview and i fucking got the position!!!! what in the hell!!! gods favourit#its full time and i get to be planting n watering gardens in da summer heat#which i would be shitting bricks abt the hours if this was a handful of months ago but considering ive done 12 hour days at school. often#im not that worried anymore. ill like. actually have free time and all my afternoons and weekends offff itll be so NIIICE#i can hang out with my FRANDS!!!! AAAAAAAHHA im so excited to have free time again#im gonna go on so many adventures and make so many savings and do so much ART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i mean its seasonal so ill have to look for somethin else when im done but thats ok ^_^ b HUGE confidence boost from this tbh#and who knows maybe over the winter i can just do freelance#but i know that i can commute to places in the winter too so thats not a problem.... ive been doin it for the last 6 months !!#AGGGHHG I LOVE HAVING. confidence and experience and being able to believe in myself.... so wonderful#i dont need to be so scared actually!! of everything!! i will simply adapt to the hardships and appreciate the good things#as i have always done.....#yes. it will be good. it will be good!!
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GORGEOUS case bro I've never seen one with a continuous design like that and the embossment itself is so tasteful... always happy to see Mr. Dunkulous too <3
ALSO AYO YOU WATCHED MONDAY? How was it? Either way you're almost done with the Sabu Tsutsumi catalogue then... that's epic... I'm glad you liked Destiny too, it really is such a cute movie
Also I'm pretty sure PS4 preloads are open too BUT I'm still salty Xbox gets it a day early </3
Its one of the first designs i ran into while looking up wallet cases LMAO lucky me me thinks…. Its very pretty <3 mr dunkulous here to stay and keep me company lest i totally lose my mind <3<3
AND I DID i mentioned so durin stream yesterday ! i REALLY loved it, sabu keeps putting ttm in terrible situations and it makes me giddy seeing him panic 🥰 AND DESTINY WAS ADORABLE it was so cute….. really wholesome and what my soul needed….
OH PS4 PRELOADS OPEN ? Ill check it out when i get home later……. Why does xbox get it a day early thats rude me thinks…..
#snap chats#cancelling a post i was gonna make to bitch in the tags of this one <3#anyway on this day this monday we remember the words of our king ryuji goda#A Real Man Oughta Be A Little Stupid DO YALL WANNA KNOW HOW MAD I AM.#HOW I JUST SPENT A FRACTION OF MY FOOD MONEY ON A STUPID CARD#WHEN MY FUCKING ID WAS UNDEE MY TABLET. CAN YOU IMAGINE MY RAGE. MY ANGER.#I TORE UP MY ROOM ALL WEEKEND BUT NEVER THOUGHT TO CHECK UNDER MY FUCKIN TABLET#its a lilfunny….. im tryna make the most of it ok GODAMMIT IM SO MAD THO I CANT#$20 is like $5 in todays society everything is twenty fuckin dollars i cant live like this#at least my deadnames not on my id anymore… and it doesnt look like its falling apart ig…#STILL HAVE THIS TERRIBLE PHOTO AND ID RATHER BE DEADNAMES AND HAVE $20 THAN NOT HAVE $20#NO ONE TALK TO ME ANYWAY kinda funny. hang on.#at least i dont have to get a new sticker… i just scalpe the old one from my oher card.. lol… knife came in handy…#was leaving to Waste Twenty Dollars when i ran into one of my roommate’s boyfriend for the ninth time this semester#and we both clamber into the elevator and he like ‘ive seen you a lot lol so uhh whats your name :)’#and the struggle i had… do i say Aforementioned Dead Name do i say my Thinking Of Changing First Name do i say Last Name….#the safe answer is always last name so thats what i did but god i floundered..i stared at him for a second longer than i shouldve#today sucks. at least i dont have a night class today…#i’d stream y0 but streams dont go well when i stream them at 5#plus i have to work on a comm… ouugg lemme cap it here before i rant for thirty tags straight LMAO#anyway. love my new case. destiny was cute. angry jealous frog ttms funny and sad at the same time. monday made me giggle 🥴#this was a good post to make while making sure my cars battery didnt die LMAO ok bye <3
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when you literally live in a world that wasnt made for you 😆🔫
#dont think im gonna get into grad school. dont know what the fuck else im going to do.#i dont want to fucking work i want to research. probably wouldnt even be able to find a job in my desired fields so what would i even be#fucking doing. and at that point how would i get there. bc i dont drive. and i dont want to fucking drive. i cant#it feels like im having a panic attack when i try. so gotta find a driving school. what if it doesnt work. what if it does. im driving to#work i dont wanna do. my friends are spread out and working and dont have any time to call. since i dont drive i dont get out of the house#except to grocery shop with my mom on weekends. i dont have anything productive to do but i cant even relax properly bc i feel like im in a#panopticon with my parents and i need to at least LOOK busy while i live in their house. so im just doing nothing all day but i want to#but i CANT!!!! and i cant even broach the subject of therapy or meds which i really think i need because like. my parents just dont fucking#believe in it or whatever. like ive really essentially told my dad i think i could be autistic and he hasnt been like oh should we find#help or anything hes just been like ok cool that surely has no repurcussions on your life#even as it was part of the fucking conversation why i dont want to drive#its just. its whatever. i feel so stuck but i dont want to move forward because moving forward just means going into a world where i have tl#work a job i probably hate and make hardly enough money to live in a shitty apartment because the economy and society are fucked#trying to experience the Wonders but i cant escape the Horrors. what the fuck ever ugh
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