#ok i know the home quote isn’t the same for both songs but close enough

[lord-of-the-weird]

[osamiiya]

another milestone🥺 ur growing so fast i'm so happy for u🤩 once again i am here to support ur event 🥳 can i get mattsun with #41 song: love is only a feeling by joey bada$$

Look it's Lyss 🥺 Please you've been here before 100 followers and I'm so thankful ily ❤️❤️

Pairing: Mattsukawa Issei x Reader

Scenario: #41 Fake dating each other to go to a wedding, falling in love.

**This one is kinda long, oops

Omiomi's 200 Follower Event

-Monday-

"So, what you're saying is that your cousin's wedding is this weekend and you don't have a date to get your pushy relatives off your back, so you need me to act like we're dating?"

You blink a couple times, shocked that he got it completely on the first try.

"Yeah.... that's exactly it."

Matsukawa shrugs "It's not like I have anything else to do, and it's free wedding cake."

You bark out a laugh, drawing the attention of people at nearby cafe tables.

"I can drive us, it isn't too far." You say, trying to further convince him so he won't back out suddenly.

At this Matsukawa snorts, leaning in to look you in the eye.

"Now what kind of a fake boyfriend would I be to let my fake girlfriend drive us there?"

You roll your eyes "Fine, but we need to lay down some rules."

He nods and motions for you to continue.

" 1. No kissing on the lips unless it's a situation in which we absolutely have to, other skinship will be ok. 2. We leave Friday morning, and come back Sunday night because the wedding is in the afternoon on Saturday. During then we'll probably have to share a room, I'll take the sofa or we'll use pillow dividers. 3. We met in college, and you asked me out." Matsukawa's eyes are narrowed in concentration, eyebrows furrowed as he commits it to memory.

"Easy enough." He grins, this was going to be a piece of cake.

You spend the rest of your "lunch date", full empasis on the quotes, discussing your backstory and other details that might be asked about.

-Friday-

Your doorbell rings and you grab your luggage, opening the door to see Matsukawa, white shirt and black joggers. His messy hair falling slightly in his face.

He was always attractive, but this outfit makes your mouth go dry and you swallow hard, grinning at him as he waves.

"Ready to go?"

The car ride was about 6 hours, you taking the first half and Matsukawa taking the second half, claiming that he wants your family to see what a good boyfriend he was, driving you to the wedding.

While you drove he fed you snacks and gave you instructions from the map app on his phone cackling when you missed an exit.

He napped for an hour before he had to drive, not wanting to be tired when he had to drive.

You take some glances to him, and usually people wouldn't find a boy passed out, leaning against the window with his mouth slightly open, attractive. But the butterflies in your stomach fluttered and you wondered what it would be like to kiss him awake.

Soon, you pull up to the gas station halfway mark that the two of you agreed on. You lightly tap him awake, and stifle a smile as he groans awake, stretching as his shirt rode up a little.

"Are we there?" He's half asleep and you allow a smile, unbuckling your seatbelt.

"I'll get you a coffee." Your heart is beating erratically as you pay for the canned coffee from the gas station, remembering Matsukawa's shirt riding up as he stretched.

You open the car door and hand him his coffee, he grunts a thank you and starts the car, taking a sip of his coffee occasionally humming along to the radio.

"This coffee sucks." He deadpanns, finishing up the can.

"But you finished it." You point out and he rolls his eyes before cracking a smile.

That's all it takes to break the ice you didn't know had formed, cracking jokes and wheezing as you pull into the hotel, your Aunt greeting you guys.

Matsukawa side hugs you and plants a kiss on your forehead, greeting your family.

"Hi, I'm y/n's boyfriend." Your heart warms at the sentence, and you have to scold your brain to stop being so happy. It's fake, it's fake, you're fake dating.

You get the room key and hold your breath as you enter the room, one bed, and there's no couch.

Matsukawa senses your apprehension and shrugs.

"I can sleep on the floor?" He offers, and you shake your head.

"It's fine, I don't want you to be uncomfortable tomorrow."

You don't notice the blush on Matsukawa's face as he fully digests the situation, too busy calming yourself down.

He showers first and then you get ready for bed, coming out of the bathroom to see no pillow wall, but Matsukawa fast asleep.

'I suppose we're close enough to not need pillow wall."

You lie down on the edge of the bed slightly cold, but fall asleep nonetheless.

-Saturday-

The entire day is awkward, you woke up tangled in Matsukawa's arms, his head in your hair, and arms around your waist.

Then at breakfast your cousin noted that you're not holding hands, and so the two of you clasp hands, slightly concerned that you enjoy holding his hand so much.

During the wedding a couple of your older relatives lean over and giggle about how your guy's wedding is next, flustering both of you.

And before you know it you're slow dancing with Matsukawa, head on his chest as his heart beats rapidly.

You must've had too much champagne, because your head is fuzzy and your impulse control is near zero as you get ready for bed.

"Are we going to sleep together?" You mean in it a purely Innocent way, but Matsukawa spits out the water he was drinking, coughing violently as his cheeks and ears turn red.

"What?" He chokes out, and you frown.

Sitting in the bed, you cross your arms and Matsukawa finds you adorable right now.

"You're so cute." He sighs, lying down and opening his arms while realizing what you meant earlier.

"'m not cute." You sigh, content and comfortable.

"I love you." You mumble, not aware of what you're saying completely.

Matsukawa breaths in shakily, not sure how to respond, you're clearly not aware of what you're saying.

"I love you too." He whispers into your ear even though it looks like you've fallen asleep.

-Sunday-

The car ride home is quiet, just anxious glances, you wondering if what you said last night was actually said or just a dream, and Matsukawa wondering if what you said was just a result of the champagne.

"So..." You both start.

The two of you stop, laughing nervously.

"You said you loved me." He clears his throat, refusing to look at you and drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

"And what if I said I did?" It was a pretty big change, going from being good friends with a slight crush on him, to admitting you were in love with him. Both to yourself and to who you're in love with.

He glances over to you, eyes sparkling.

"I'd say the same thing I said last night."

You blanche, he can't possibly expect you to remember what he said.

"Which is..." You look at him expecting as he smirks.

"I love you too."

[fjoresterthoughts]

It calls me

@fjoresterweek 2021 - Day 4: Modern AU

[AO3]

Jester wakes up to her shoulder being shaken, and all she wants to do is push her face further into the pillow. She can feel the cooler air outside of her warm blankets, and the thought of leaving the cozy warmth is incredibly unappealing.

“Jessie, wake up.” she hears Beau whisper, and Jester finally opens her eyes. The room is surprisingly light, and for a minute she worries she overslept - but the clock beside her bed says it's still very early. 

“What’s up?” she mumbles in response, still incredibly sleepy.

“School’s cancelled. They called a snow day.” Beau says, and Jester shoots up.

“Really??” She exclaims as she runs to the window of their shared bedroom, and sure enough, the snow that started last night had continued heavily all through last night, and had no sign of stopping. The sun wasn’t quite up, but the white of the snow gave everything a soft brightness, including their room. 

Beau grins. “Yeah, I was really hoping they would. I do not want to go to my morning classes in this.”

“Beau, you never want to go to your morning classes.” Jester says, and checks her phone for the cancellation confirmation emails from her professors. 

“True.” Beau confirms as she searches her side of the room for a pair of socks.

Jester pulls her pair of unicorn slippers from underneath her bed. “Let’s go tell Fjord!”

“Shouldn’t we let him just sleep in?”

Jester shakes her head, already heading to the door. “No, he’ll freak out and think he missed his class. Besides, I’m too excited and I wanna tell him.”

Beau and Jester step out the door of their shared room, and walk down the hallway of their apartment to Fjord’s room. They had gotten a two bedroom apartment near campus at the start of the school year, and it had been the best. The three of them met during orientation and had stuck close together ever since. 

Jester knocked gently and pushed the door open to Fjord’s room, who was still fast asleep in bed. His room is much smaller - barely any room for his twin sized bed, his little desk, and a dresser. With Beau and Jester sharing a room and needing space for two beds, they had taken the larger one.

“He looks like a supermodel even when he sleeps, it’s not fair.” Jester whispers to Beau, who just laughs.

This makes Fjord stir, and as he’s slowly opening his eyes, Jester practically jumps on his bed, with Beau following.

“It’s a snow day!! It’s a snow day!!” Jester cheers, and Fjord groans and flops back down after the initial shock.

“For real?”

Beau holds her phone up to Fjord’s face. “Yeah, check it out!”

Fjord looks, and then smirks. “Oh, nice. Also a text from Yasha came down when you were showing me the email.”

Beau pulls her phone back quickly and Jester screeches, trying to wrestle the phone to see.

“Ooooh, what did she say, Beau?”

Beau jumps off the bed. “Fuck off!”

“Fjord! You saw it! What did it say?” Jester asks, still sitting on Fjord’s bed but watching Beau with intent.

Beau turns and walks out of the room. “Fuck you guys, I’m making coffee!”

“Can you make me some too?” Fjord calls out to her, and she affirms but grumbles something about him not deserving it.

Fjord gives a knowing smile to Jester. “I have a feeling that Beau’s not going to spend her snow day with us.”

She grins and wiggles her eyebrows. “She’s gonna spend it with Yasha?”

Fjord makes the same expression back at her, and then starts to get out of his bed. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom before Beau claims it.”

-

Beau does in fact, eagerly take up Yasha’s offer to spend their snow day together, leaving Fjord and Jester in the apartment by themselves with nowhere to be. Jester makes a suggestive joke about her and Yasha staying warm, and when Beau throws one back at her and Fjord, she blushes and is incredibly grateful Fjord is out of earshot.

Jester insists that her and Fjord start their day off by making snow angels and playing in the snow. With them both being west coast kids, neither of them got to do this as children very often. After Jester’s fourth snow angel, she reaches her hands up to ask Fjord to help her up, but instead purposely pulls him down into the snow and their snowfight commences. It mostly consists of snowballs, but tackling is fair game and Jester eventually wins when she makes a running jump onto Fjord’s back, knocking them both to the ground and he falls face first into a snowdrift. Shivering, and with their fair share of snow down their shirts and backs, they finally decide it’s time to go inside and change into warm and dry clothes. 

Breakfast comes next, and it’s the perfect day for pancakes and hot chocolate. Jester would argue that every day is good for pancakes and hot chocolate, but there is something special about a gigantic stack of decked out pancakes and extra marshmallows in your mug on a snow day. 

“Fjord,” Jester starts, biting into the very last of her pancakes, “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Sure. Can I take a shower first though? I’m still kinda cold from the snow you put down my shirt.” He replies, and takes their dishes and puts them in the sink.

“Of course! I might take one too, I think my hair is a little frozen.”

Fjord interrupts her before she can continue. “Dibs on having a shower first! I don’t want you to steal all the hot water.”

Jester laughs and calls out to him as he walks down the hall. “Think about what movie you want to watch!”

-

After they both have their showers, Jester pulls the duvet from her bed onto the couch and grabs herself a bowl of caramel popcorn, much to Fjord’s dismay.

“Aren’t you still full from breakfast?”

Jester shrugs. “I mean, kinda, but I really wanted popcorn.” She tosses some into her mouth. “I’m assuming you don’t want any, then?”

Fjord shakes his head, and settles onto the couch under the blanket. “Nope! Besides, I wouldn’t have caramel. The original salt and butter is the way to go!” 

“Suit yourself! You’re missing out.”

Fjord turns to her and turns the TV on. “So, what movie do you want to watch?”

“Oh, I’m good with anything. You?”

“Is it weird if I say I want to watch something that takes place somewhere warm?”

Jester laughs. “Of course not!”

Fjord looks a little sheepish. “I just got warm again. I’m not as good against the cold as you.”

“Want to watch Moana?” Jester suggests with a smile. She knows it’s secretly one of Fjord’s favourite movies. 

He grins. “Always.”

They’ve both seen this movie a million times. They sing along to every song, Jester a bit louder than Fjord, and they quote the lines along. Fjord does end up stealing some of Jester’s popcorn, and Jester knows when in the movie to subtly pass tissues over to him because he always ends up getting choked up.

What Fjord doesn’t expect, is that Jester has slowly been inching closer to him. He’s not sure if she is doing it subconsciously or not, but he selfishly likes it. He knows he’s had a crush on Jester for ages, and isn’t entirely sure if she likes him back. Beau has called him out on it, getting tired of the underlying romantic tension, but he’s terrified that if she doesn’t like him back, he’ll ruin the entire house dynamic. He knows he needs to tell her. He’ll tell her at the end of this semester - that way if she doesn’t like him back, she has an easy out if she wants.  

“Fjord?” Jester quietly says, and Fjord forces his attention back to her and the movie.

“Yeah?”

She snuggles in closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. “I bet it would be fun to go wayfinding. Or even just sailing.”

Fjord raises an eyebrow at her. “Oh yeah?”

Jester hums. “I think it’d be fun. Maybe one day we could go.”

“Well, maybe eventually I can buy or rent a boat and we can sail our cares away. I’ve got some experience, I can show you the ropes.” He replies softly, almost wistfully.

He feels Jester smile against his shoulder. “I hope so. I’d really like that.”

She then pulls herself even closer by casually draping her legs across Fjord’s under the blanket, almost sitting in his lap. He pauses for just a moment before wrapping an arm around her, gently tucking her into his side and she happily melts right into him. His heart is fluttering about in his chest, and any thought of the outside cold is far, far away from his mind.

--

It’s much later in the afternoon when they’re working on their papers and readings in their respective rooms, and Fjord hears Jester bounding down the hallway, calling his name repeatedly and incessantly. Before he can even ask what’s up, she appears in his doorway.

“Fjord! You’re not doing anything for reading week, right?” She asks, almost breathlessly.

“Uhh, no? Probably just ending up being an awkward third wheel to Beau and Yasha when I’m not working, why?”

Jester is practically bouncing. “Wanna fly back home for the week? To the coast?”

“What?!” He says in absolute shock. “What do you mean, I don’t think I can afford-”

Jester interrupts him. “No, no! I was just talking to my dad, and…” She takes a breath. “So, after watching Moana I kinda missed home a bit? Like being by the ocean and beach? I mean this snow has been super fun and I love it, but I kinda miss home a bit, too, you know? So I’m on the phone with my dad and I told him I was maybe wondering about coming home for reading week in a month, and he offered to pay for my ticket! And THEN said I could bring a friend too if I wanted.”

Fjord’s shock has only grown. “That’s expensive! We can’t accept-” 

Jester cuts him off again, trying to calm him down. “It’s ok, it’s ok! One of the tickets is through his like, flying points! And he has to make up for all the birthdays and holidays he missed when he wasn’t around. Do you want to come? We’ll stay with my mom so we don’t have to worry about a place to stay.”

Fjord is truly stunned, still processing. “I mean, if he’s sure… that’s very generous of him.”

Jester jumps up, and throws her arms around his neck, giving him a little kiss on the cheek. “Wonderful! I’ll go let him know!”

Fjord blushes. “Thank you. For inviting me, and tell your dad I sincerely thank him.”

Jester beams, and starts singing “You're welcome!” as she walks down the hall back to her room. 

Fjord leans against his desk and places his head on his hands, still making sense of what just happened and what’s ahead of them. Jester’s (potentially) mob boss father just paid for their plane tickets to go home and they’ll be staying at Jester’s famous actress mother. But more importantly...

He’s going, with his crush, on a week’s trip back home with just the two of them. Who just gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

Surely everything will go just fine.

[onelastsho-t]

Signing Off, 05/02/2021

“Letting go is the easy part. It’s the moving on that’s painful. If I were to go back in time, there are a lot of things I will choose to change. But in the end, I will always choose you, over everything else.” 

It has been almost half a year since we completely stopped talking to each other. No form of communication, at all. It happened so fast yet so gradually. We went from talking non-stop everyday to zero communication. 

During this period of time, there isn’t a day where I stopped thinking about you. There are countless days where I almost wanted to drop you a text but it never happened. I still have our picture in my wallet and whenever I feel defeated by life, I look at it to give me some strength to carry on. You are still so alive in my head and in my heart. You are still, sometimes, the first thought I have when I wake up in the morning.

I think of you when I am commuting and passed by some places where we used to hang out. When I listen to songs such as “Yellow Lights”, “Us” and a lot more, especially “You Complete Me”. I still remember how you sang this song to me and it still warms my heart so much. When I go to a nice restaurant and the food taste great because you are such a glutton. When I watch a nice series on Netflix which I know you will definitely like. When I see cute dogs on the streets knowing you will shriek and wanting to pet them. Sometimes I just stare into space without any thoughts and you will just appear out of nowhere. All these thoughts always make me smile. The thought of you always makes me smile.

I wonder a lot if you think about me too. 

I still wish we didn’t have to go separate ways. But I understand that’s what was best for us at that point in time. You had too much on your plate and I had so much frustration with the situation I didn’t know how to handle it myself. I understand you did what was best for us and I think that’s the way you chose to love me. You saw what I couldn’t see. And for that - please know that I will always be grateful to you. For being so brave and for choosing this path to allow us both to heal properly. 

I will never be as brave as you. And maybe that’s why you will always be one of the strongest person I will know. Maybe the fact of you being so stubborn is good in this regard. You never give up no matter how tough the road ahead is. You never even flinch. You just continue marching on and choosing to fight the battle, even when you had to do it alone. I am so fucking proud of you and I will never stop saying that. 

I wish I wasn’t so afraid to wish you a proper “happy birthday” last year. I think love always makes me do stupid things. I recorded and uploaded a 25-minutes long video just to wish you a happy birthday weeks before 2 November 2020. But in the end, the video was never made known to you or to anyone. I even went to the Apple store wanting to pick up an Apple Watch for you because I know you have always wanted it. I replayed a lot of scenes in my head - how will you react? Will it stress you out? Is this doing more harm than good? It’s such a stupid idea. It was a tough battle and then at some point I realised I had no place in doing all of these. So, in the end, nothing was said and all these will forever remain as scenes played in my head. 

I think after all these time, you still care for me in your own way. Maybe watching my Instagram stories is one of the ways to let me know you still care, or maybe not. Maybe it’s all in my head. I don’t know and I think maybe I won’t ever know. 

To me, it doesn’t really matter that much anymore if you will ever get to read all these posts. Because I know, you are slowly achieving your goals. All I ever really wanted was for you to be happy and to have your inner peace. And I know you will have all that - slowly but surely. Remember? You appear to be happier and truth to be told, I am so so so happy for you. My heart still gets this tingling feeling whenever I see you smile and that’s when I know I will take a very very long time to get over you completely. Why do you still melt my heart?

Never thought you will have such an impact on someone right? You do. You are such an amazing person and I hope you will never stop telling yourself that. You brought me so much peace and happiness among the chaos. You taught me how to love myself better. And the list goes on. So please do know that you are not a bad person for hurting me because I know I hurt you too. It didn’t matter who hurt who and how much who fell short, a relationship is a choice to commit and I love you, that’s why everything else didn’t matter. There’s always bound to be hurt in a relationship and I quote the song “The Black and White” - call it what you need, but don’t blame yourself for me. 

You are so special and don’t you dare for one second think you are not. You are so precious. You always make me want to take care of you no matter how strong you appear to be because I know deep down, you are not. I ended up hurting you even though you are truly the last person I would ever want to hurt. I've always always wanted to protect you from this world, from anyone who wants to or who will hurt you. You will always be that special person in my heart holding that special place. And you will always be worthy, no matter how bad a person you think you are. Just so you know, you were never the bad person in my story and you never will be. Maybe I will forever have this regret of letting you get away but as long as I know you are doing well, everything’s going to be fine. 

I will probably always carry this hope of you coming back, no matter how much time has passed.

But for now, maybe this is the last thing I can give to you and also to myself. I forgive the long distance. I forgive the lack of communication. I forgive the pandemic for taking away the last chance I had to spend quality time with you. I forgive myself, I forgive us. Most importantly, I forgive you. 

I will always choose to forgive you because this lifetime is too short. Even though we were together for 2.5 years, I still feel like I wasn’t given enough time with you. I could have spent forever looking at you and not get bored because you will always find ways to either make me roll my eyes hard or laugh real hard. I could have spent forever getting lost in your eyes and the warmth of your hugs. I could have spent forever getting to know you - each and every version of you throughout this lifetime. 

But I know for now, greater things are waiting for you to achieve. I hope you will continue to be you. Never let anyone and any thoughts of not being good enough bring you down. Continue growing, continue scaling greater heights and continue fighting life. The future will always be daunting, perhaps it will overwhelm you and leave you doubting yourself. But please don’t ever give up, okay? Take a break when you are tired and continue to soldier on. I will continue to work hard and aim to achieve more too. And I can’t wait to hear good news about you in the future. I know I will be so happy for you for finally getting into the place in life where you always wanted and deserved. You deserve happiness more than anyone else.

We might never talk to each other again. Today could have been our 1000th day together. You are not mine anymore but I'm still a little bit yours. And I know after all these months, it’s probably time for me to move on from us. It’s time for me to move on from you. It was a privilege to love you, and it was a privilege to let you go. You are a tough act to follow but I gotta follow through.

I will try my best not to scream in my head “cute” or “beautiful” the next time I see your picture on social media. I will try not to pause for a short while the next time I come across your profile because trust me, I still do. If you happen to read this someday down the road, please just know that I still care so much for you but I think this is the best I can do for you. I will always care for you in my own way. I will always keep you so close to my heart.

I still love you and I am aware that I am still very in love with you. But I know if you felt the same way, you would have spoken to me because the ball has always been in your court ever since we stopped talking. 

Maybe someday we will meet again as better versions of ourselves and the time will finally be right for us.

But for now, as of this moment, here’s me signing off from this platform and taking baby steps to move on from you. It will take a lot of self-awareness, a lot of effort and a whole lot of time. Maybe I will spend this lifetime moving on from you. Or maybe I won’t ever move on from you but I know I gotta try. 

I don’t know what is waiting ahead of this road but I know, you will always be living somewhere inside of my heart and this I promise - nobody can ever take away. 

If along the way you meet someone who treats you well, from the bottom of my heart - I truly wish you well and I hope the person will know how to cherish and love you because you deserve all the good in this world. 

Please don’t tolerate bullshit again, okay? Don’t be stupid hor please (so singlish on Tumblr I know but it’s ok no more aesthetic after all these wordy posts). Grow up already so must know how to protect yourself please. Don’t be so stubborn also. I know your love hate relationship with cats but please do not get your allergy triggered by petting them especially at your void deck. Stock up more cooling water at home in case of emergency headache or fever. Also try not to scratch the spot on your head whenever you are in deep thoughts if not later really become baldy (HAHA)!! And lastly, avoid your black hole at all costs. I repeat - avoid at all costs. If you ever fall into it, just know that those thoughts are not real and get out of that place asap, okay? 

Go be weird, go be you, go conquer your demons and the world. I'm so thankful I met you in this lifetime you have no idea.

Important things must say thrice: 

I will always miss you and I will always love you. All ways. I will always miss you and I will always love you. All ways. I will always miss you and I will always love you. All ways.  

Till we meet again, take care.

Signing off,  Jes 

[minsugapie]

Mary’s Song: part 5b (2866 words) - the tables have turned

• • • • • •

Jeon Jungkook wasn’t just your anime-loving, manga-drawing, hair-pulling, ex-neighbour. You hadn’t even spoken to him since he had moved away. But the world worked in funny ways because...

He was probably the reason you were still alive.

• • • • • •

“And our daddies used to joke about the two of us

Growing up and fallin' in love

And our mamas smiled, and rolled their eyes

And said, "Oh, my, my, my””

• • • • • •

previous // current \\ next

masterlist

• • • • • •

Tags : @minhyuksfatgf @igotarmyofarohas @dixonsbugaboo @thealexalcala @salty-for-suga @worshiphoseok @okaysoplshelpme @jeonlovers @acupfullofsuga @beach-bitch-bitch-beach @hannahdinse8 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @dammit-jjk @dreamcatcherjiah @xxxanimangxxx @wrmnssoul @ephyra1230 @imynnow @prdshobi @klverse @butterflylion @fuddyize @ahnneyong @nanie5 @squidyelmosquidbutt

• • • • • •

i have all four of my finals within the next 6 days...wish me luck

• • • • • •

Thankfully you had Jimin and Taehyung to talk to on this drive to your parents’ house because Jungkook barely said a word. It was starting to really get to you. You could tell that whatever he did was to protect you, and you knew that by the little things that he was still doing. Yet, what you wanted the most was exactly what he wasn’t giving you—his attention. 

So when you finally pulled up in front of the house, you knew that you needed to finally talk about what had happened. Whether Jungkook was not talking to you because of the kiss or the day that followed, you weren’t sure…but you knew that he had to forgive you eventually. Maybe you’d joke and call it even for what he’d done to you in high school. But you weren’t petty like that, and you simply wanted to talk to him like an adult. 

The two of you sat in the car for a full minute before Jungkook finally opened his door and got out of the car. You quickly followed, grabbing you suitcase from the backseat. Jungkook would be going to his own house after dinner, so you weren’t sure why he even brought his bag into the house…actually, maybe you did. You might need to sleep with him again here. 

Once you were at the entrance of the house, you called to him, “Wait! Can we talk?” It came out more hesitant than you intended. 

He gave you the eye quickly before he answered, “Meet me in the backyard in 10.”

You did realize that saying hello to your parents was probably the first thing that you should do.

“Mom! Dad! We’re here!” You called once you walked through the threshold. Jungkook walked in behind you, putting his bag down beside the door. 

“Hey! I’m just in the kitchen! Your dad had to pop to the store for me. Jungkook, your parents will be on their way soon. We’ll talk at supper, okay?” Your mom seemed busy in the kitchen, so you simply decided to just go to the backyard now. Jungkook had already gone and wasn’t even there to hear your mom talk to him. “Okay, Mom. I’ll come in in a bit and set the table!”

Taking a deep breath, you looked at the surroundings of the house you hadn’t seen in a few years. It was exactly the same as you remembered, your mom not liking change. Actually, you were sure that she’d left it the same so that she could keep it that way for your dad. He had always been away, and he liked coming home to what was the same. She liked to keep him happy during the little time they had together. It wasn’t a secret to you that your parents’ relationship was strained enough as it was. 

You found Jungkook standing only a few feet from the door, staring at the minimal yard furniture that was out there. You remembered your parents and his used to drink out here all the time while you played together…or you tried to play and he tried to get away from you. 

“You’re right that we need to talk,” he said once he heard the door shut behind you. You went to his side, attempting to get as close to him as possible, but he just moved away from you as soon as you stood beside him. You always wondered what could possibly be thinking about. Unlike some people, his face never gave anything away…

“Ok, so talk,” you whispered. You felt even smaller than before since he moved away. 

“You’re the one that wanted to talk first, so you say what you wanted to say,” he countered, putting his hands into his jacket pocket. It was getting colder outside, and there was no way you didn’t need a jacket to stand the outdoors. 

“Fine,” you responded, walking in front of him and looking into his eyes. “I have a few things. But first, is there a reason that you’re not looking at me or touching me at all? Because you used to do both of those things so freely, and I never stopped you. Is it because of the kiss? Is it because I forced you to kiss me when you didn’t feel that way about me? Did I disgust you? Do you—”

“God, Y/N, stop! It’s not the kiss. Couldn’t you tell that I wanted that? You wouldn’t even believe me if I told you how many times I’d want it to happen when we were in high school. I’d kiss you again in a heartbeat,” he revealed, looking down at his feet.

“See but even when you admit to that, you still can’t look me in the eyes!” You argued, taking a step towards him. Your hands moved up to his face, putting them on his cheeks to make him look at you. You realized your mistake as soon as you made it, however, because he just shoved you off of him and walked past you, rubbing his own hands down his face in frustration. 

You frowned at his actions, head falling. You didn’t want there to be tears in your eyes, but you couldn’t stop the hurt you felt when he pushed you off. He looked back at you after a minute. “The problem I’m having right now is that I still want to understand why you went back to him when we were figuring things out and then you get beaten to a pulp! Fuck, just understand that you’re fragile for once in your life and you can’t do everything on your own!”

“You know what, Bun…” You raised your voice, meeting his intensity, “You tell me right now who the person was that once told me that I needed to start sticking up for myself and figuring things out on my own because, and I quote, “I’m not going to be your little bun bun forever, so grow up, Y/N, because I refuse to be around anymore to bail you out of shit from your own doing any more!” And now that I think about it, why did I even call you originally if you said that to me? It makes no sense. I’m just ruining my own life at this point!” 

Jungkook looked ashamed. You wondered if he remembered his exact words or if they were only things that played on your mind every once in a  while.

“I was cruel,” he whispered, falling onto his knees in front of you. 

“Oh, get up, Jungkook,” you said as you grabbed his arm and waited for him to say something more. 

“Honestly, I didn’t mean anything that I said. You were fifteen, Y/N! I was seventeen. It wasn’t exactly like I was in my sane mind…all I wanted was for you to stop infiltrating my brain. All I did was think and worry about you, and I hated it.”

You frowned, not sure what he was talking about. “We’d barely spoken to each other since I entered high school. How was I all up in your business?”

“It was because I kept doing things for you without you even knowing, and it made me mad…but then I got mad for no reason besides the fact that I could no longer help you out. I thought I was warning you for your future without me but I was really just being mean.”

“Yeah, you were very mean. And Nic was the person that picked me up when you knocked me down…”

His eyes raked over your face, thumb going up to the scar on your forehead. You flinched when he touched it, realizing how bad you still looked. The large gash that had been on your forehead was now a scar with a nasty yellow bruise covering more skin than you ever wanted to see. Along with that bruise, there were numerous others that littered your body. 

“It’s my face isn’t it?” You asked, biting your lip as you looked at him. “You can’t look at me because I’m not pretty anymore. I get it.”

He immediately shook his head. “You’re always pretty. But you’re right about your face. I can’t look at it because it reminds me of what I didn’t protect you from.”

“You don’t need to feel bad because it was my decision. Now are we going to still keep walking on eggshells around each other, or are we going to get passed this?” You dared to ask, hesitantly putting your hands around his waist inside his jacket. 

“Well, I guess we have to, don’t we,” he replied, settling in closer to you. His fingers tangled into your hair as he cupped your cheeks. 

“Were you telling the truth before when you said you would kiss me again in a heartbeat?” You fisted the back of his shirt. You could still smell his body wash from the shower he took before you left, and it comforted you because it was the exact thing you smelt before bed every night. 

“I don’t make habit of lying to you, Y/N…” 

“Great,” you smiled, pushing away from him and walking back towards the door, “But I should go set the table. Your parents are probably going to be here soon. Oh, and you have kissed me in the past, not sure if you remember or not.”

Jungkook grabbed your arm before you could go back in the house. When you turned around to look at him, he had complete confusion written on his face. “I think I would have remembered if I’d kissed you.”

“You were drunk. It’s fine,” you try to play it off, leaning towards the door again. 

He closed his eyes tightly and breathed out hard. When he head tilted back, he groaned. “I ruined our first kiss because I was a stupid teenager.”

You shook your head and replied, “I don’t count it as our first kiss…our first real kiss was that morning in bed. It was perfect, and I never wanted it to end. Oh, my God, I can’t believe I just admitted to that!” Your hands flew up to cover your burning cheeks. 

You were watching Jungkook’s face and were pleasantly surprised when he started smiling with every word. When he tilted his head, you saw a little glint in his eye. His fingers slowly curled around your hands and then brought your hands down from your face. He started leaning into you, warm breath easily fanning across your face in the cooler air. “Are you gonna kiss me now?” You whispered, closing your eye as he almost made contact. 

After a small chuckle, he responded, “I was definitely leaning in, yep.”

You stuck your chin out higher, waiting for him to continue.

“Jungkook and Y/N! Mr. and Mrs. Jeon are here!”

Ugh. 

• • • • • •

“So, Dad, what can you tell us at all about the case?” You asked, taking a drink of the wine that your mom thankfully poured you. You didn’t know if you could talk openly about it without it. “I just want to feel as safe as possible…”

You felt Jungkook’s hand slide over your knee in comfort. He was letting you know that he was there, and you were thankful. Looking around the table at the other guests, you noticed everyone’s utensils briefly pause. After all, your question was out of the blue. Jungkook’s mom had been talking about their plans for Christmas dinner. Obviously, they would be eating together. Your mom was all for it. 

“Well,” your dad started, putting down his fork and picking up his napkin to wipe his mouth, “we expect it will go smoothly since he was caught in the act. Your testimony of the treatment will decide more with the jury. We still plan on having that restraining order completed for after he gets released. I’m thinking that he won’t be put away for longer than twelve years…and that a lot if we’re lucky.”

You swallowed and looked at Jungkook, a look that didn’t go unnoticed by both sets of parents. “It’ll all work out, Honey,” he whispered in your ear, your eyes closing at his words. You gave him a small nod. 

“We’re all there for you, Y/N, you know that!” Jungkook’s dad piped in, taking a large swig of his own beer. 

“Cheers!” Your dad said, holding up his glass, “to the end of my daughter’s suffering!”

“Cheers,” you quietly said, your brain whizzing a thousand miles a second and thinking way too far into the future—far enough that you were thinking of when Nic got out of jail. 

“Not to be the one the change the subject, but I want to change the subject…” Jungkook’s mom said, throwing her hands up and looking right at you. “But I was looking through some old albums and found some funny pictures of the two of you!”

“Oh God, this wasn’t a part of the plan for tonight!” Jungkook groaned, now taking a large gulp of his own drink. 

“You guys were so cute! Y/N had a cute little crush on you and you always protected her, even if you were annoyed! I remember this one time when you were playing on the play structure, and some mean boy from Y/N’s class pushed her down the slide and made her scrape her knees. Jungkook was the first person ready to stick up for her. I swear that eight year old boy was going to throw punches if she didn’t stop him.”

You tried hard to hold back a laugh at the story. You remembered it like it was yesterday because you were sure that it was the moment that you started liking Jungkook. Before then, Jungkook was just a boy, but after that incident, he was the person you looked up to the most. As much of a crush that a six year old girl could have, you had it, and it only deepened with time—until you were fifteen, crying after he left you and broke your heart. 

“Wherever Jungkook was, Y/N was. Seems like that’s the way it is today too,” your mom added, giving you a look like she knew what was going on in the backyard before supper. Actually, they both knew something was up after the night in the hospital.

You dad came to your rescue this time. “I’d argue that the tables have turned.”

“Hm?” Jungkook’s dad questioned, looking between you and Jungkook. 

“Jungkook’s the one following her now…and I thank God every day for that!” 

You smiled at Jungkook, agreeing with every word that your dad said. Thank God Jungkook had been following you. 

• • • • • •

After dinner was over, you helped your mom do all the dishes while Jungkook caught up with his parents and your dad. Your dad’s opinion of Jungkook has done a 180 degree turn—he was no longer skeptical.

Your mom washed as you dried, that was just the way it went. 

“So what’s really going on between you two?” Your mom nudged your shoulder, and you almost dropped the plate you were drying. 

“What do you mean?” You asked, clearing absolutely nothing out of your throat but awkwardness. 

“Don’t try to pull the blanket over my eyes…I know there’s something going on. I saw you two earlier today and you seemed pretty close. Plus, you didn’t see the way he was with you at the hospital…” Your mom provided, sly smile on her face.

You stopped what you were doing, leaning back against the sink with a sigh. “Mama, do you think that it’s too fast for me to feel anything for Jungkook? It hasn’t been long since Nic…”

You mom stopped what she was doing too, running a palm down you hair. “I think that you have to follow your heart, babe. Jungkook has been in your life for so long…and Nicky, I-I mean Nic, was a rough relationship. You’re not still in love with him, are you?”

You closed your eyes and thought. “I don’t think I’ve loved him for a long time…maybe five months? But, he still means something to me, you know? It’s so hard to explain.”

“Again, I think you need to follow your heart, and if it’s leading to Jungkook, I think it could be something very beautiful,” she added, taking you in her arms. Your mom was always such a comfort, and thankfully, nothing had changed.

“Speaking of Jungkook…can he stay over tonight?” You asked while you were still hugging. 

She pushed you back, holding you at arms distance. “Why?”

“He helps me sleep.”

“What do you mean?”

You blushed and looked away, awkwardly trying to figure out how to tell your mom. “I have trouble with nightmares and sleeping when he’s not around…so we sleep together…every night.”

“Y/N, no…” Your mom trailed off, wide-eyed. 

You nodded, biting your lip. 

“How about this,” your mom offered, going back into the sink. “Jungkook can stay, but he has to sleep on the blowup mattress.”

You would take it. 

[radramblog]

Album Discussion- The Fall of Troy

Last week I discussed an album that, more or less, was defined by looseness and empty spaces. This might as well be the polar opposite of that.

(man no-one seems to have uploaded this album art in high res)

Released in 2003, The Fall of Troy is a self-titled mathcore/post-hardcore/screamo debut album made by 3 17 year olds- and in some ways that shows, but it’s not like they were fresh, they’d had two EPs under a different name by that point. The Fall of Troy is probably best known by their song F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X., having been featured as a bonus track in Guitar Hero III, which is notably, not on this album. Rather, their second album, Doppelganger, had a few tracks that were basically retakes of songs from this first album. But we’re not talking about Doppelganger (and I still can’t find a bloody CD of it), we’re talking about The Fall of Troy, by The Fall of Troy, so let’s bloody well dive in.

The first song on here, Rockstar Nailbomb!, is as much a statement of intent as anything I’ve ever seen. It’s starts with hoarsely screamed, incomprehensible vocals over a frenetic set of guitar riffs, that cuts back into a more traditional song structure, you know, after a bit. Like any good opener, it’s introducing what you’re going to be getting from the album- songs that, while extremely energetic, tend to cut between sung vocals and screamed ones at a moment’s notice, complex and overlapping guitar riffs, and a very deliberately unpolished sound. The technical skill on display is incredible considering the age of the band, as well. For such a short song, Rockstar Nailbomb! goes in some real places, closing with a line that would be appropriate to finish off the album as a whole- but of course, we’re just getting started.

The next song is called Spartacus, and it shows off the talent of the drummer in a way that the previous didn’t. Unfortunately, I almost feel like this song was kind of a half-formed idea, considering it’s a minute and a quarter long, and the…squeal…? Near the end is kind of offputting. A mid one.

Oh boy it wouldn’t be a nerd band without ridiculous track names- next up is The Circus That Has Brought Us Back to These Nights (Yo Chocola), and no I don’t fucking know what that means. This one ironically feels the most like a song than the others before it, a slightly more traditional structure, the screaming and singing vocals forming something of a call-and-response that would probably make more sense if I could understand the lyrics half the time. Despite this, it’s no less speedy, frantic, and intricate, mixes between melody and dissonance that are basically the band’s signature.

The fourth track is named Mouths Like Sidewinder Missiles, and it’s one of my favourite tracks on the album. I can’t really describe why, though, so I’m going to take a minute to talk about something else. See, this is one of the tracks that was redone for Doppelganger, and on Spotify, for whatever reason, has the title misspelled “Misssiles”. I let them know about this years ago and they never fixed it, so I guess this is my callout post. For what it’s worth, I think the Doppelganger version is a bit looser, adding in some elements in the empty space (there’s a reverb after the initial riff I really love), but both have their own merits.

Okay, mild rant over, back to regular old rambling. The next track is The Last March of the Ents, Lord of the Rings reference very much intended. This is one of those tracks I always forgets exists to be honest, like the intro started and I was like…what was this one again? And then the bit at like 50 seconds came in and I remembered everything. That section is honestly really strong, though unfortunately the rest of the track kinda feels just like Mouths like Sidewinder Missiles, but like, slightly worse? Which is especially awkward considering it immediately proceeds that song. I will say the part of the song where it slows alllll the way down is really enjoyable, it’s very gradual and smooth, gives the bass a bit of time to shine, before blowing back up again because these guys just can’t bear to play slow for half a minute.

The next track is F.C.P.S.I.T.S.G.E.P.G.E.P.G.E.P. This is the song that their most popular track, F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X. is a version of, and they’ve never actually stated what the acronym is for. A common (and I believe discredited) suggestion is, and I quote, “Fuck condoms, premarital sex is the shit, get ‘er pregnant get ‘er pregnant get ‘er pregnant”, which is A Take. It also has nothing to do with the lyrics of the song itself. This track is actually by far the loosest and slowest on the album completely, appropriate considering it’s first words are “slow down”. There’s really not a lot of screaming on it, left only to the chorus, and they’re actually understandable which is nice (or maybe it’s just because I know it’s “come running home”). This is undoubtedly an emo track, based on the lyrics, but it’s also just kind of excellent, similarly complex lyrics slowed down to a comprehensible tempo and a bridge that builds in a supremely satisfying manner. The comparison to R.E.M.I.X. is of course, inevitable, and I will say the tightening up did help in some places- the very slow section at the latter part of the song probably doesn’t need to go that long, and that’s easily the part that gets sped up most in the redo. Still, the song stands out very naturally, feeling more thoughtful and controlled than its peers.

The next song is titled “Whacko Jacko Steals The Elephant Man’s Bones”, apparently a reference to…a music video where Michael Jackson danced next to a recreation of the skeleton of a famously deformed man. Yeah, ok, sure. I don’t actually have much to say about this one, it’s very scream-led, but doesn’t really stand out to me apart from the naming. It’s play rating supports this, being the second least listened track here, but it’s by no means bad. It’s just kinda long and as generic as something like this can be, I suppose. Honestly I kinda forgot all the directions this goes, some of these sections are really quite excellent, but the song is probably like 2 minutes longer than it needed to be. I’m just saying. Like I kept waiting for this song to try and change my mind and it kinda just didn’t.

Reassurance Rests in the Sea is up next, and god that little riff it’s building around, that just noodles around but at triple speed, is just so sick. It’s a song that spends a lot more time cutting itself down- like F.C.P.etc. it’s looser and slower, but substantially more disjointed than that one is. This song, uh, completely breaks off like two minutes in and just stops. And becomes a different song. Like, I don’t think this is a bonus track or anything, it’s just a part of the same song. And that second half is a really sort of chill (for this album) instrumental, lead by a bassline that slowly gets more riffs over the top of it. And then that bit stops itself, and the main song returns again for like the final half a minute or so. And honestly I was just like, wait, no, go back…….

The actual least listened to track on the album is number 9, The Adventures of Allan Gordon (it’s apparently about a book). Honestly, I’d kinda love to hear this live, because the first minute or so of it is the kind of thing you’d play as an interstitial to keep the audience going while you get your shit ready for the next song. Eventually (and I mean eventually, song’s a third through at this point) the lyrics and such come in, and yeah ok I see why this one isn’t as popular. It’s like, fine? Like, that cut back section is pretty overall mediocre, but when we get back to the screaming and the riffs and the noise its as solid as ever. It’s a little frustrating, because they can do the more lyrical stuff, F.C.P. is right there, but this one doesn’t quite make the mark for me. A shame.

Track 10 is I Just Got This Symphony Goin’, which does not have an actual symphony, but it does present and absolutely killer opening riff, so it’s not all bad. This is one of the songs I most associate with the album, even if it’s one of the ones also on Doppelganger. Its speeding up and slowing down and screaming and singing and lots of interweaving and yeah. I like it. Iunno.

The final song, What Sound Does a Mastodon Make? (I dunno, ask a paleontolgist?), is a full seven minutes, 2 minutes longer than the next longest track. It’s kind of interesting, since the second half of the album going by tracks is much much longer than the first half. It does this really fun bit where the lead guitar and rhythm guitar do their own little call and response thing, immediately followed by one of the weirdest vocal noises I’ve ever heard, and I don’t have a word to describe it, so you’re gonna have to either trust me or listen to it yourself. This song is just really, really long, man, and it goes in a lot of places but none of them are exceptional enough to really justify slogging through a total 7 minutes of it. I’m going to be honest, I’m probably not going to listen to it unless I’m going through the whole album. The extended build near the end is pretty sick, I guess? And the way the last minute just decides to, like, drop everything, and just end with a very quiet, indie-esque instrumental. Like the very “we did it, now we can relax” sort of moment. Lets both you and the band know its over, and you can move on past your energy high to something a bit more chill.

I think the best phrase I can use to describe The Fall of Troy is “ADHD music”. Both in that it feels almost a little distractable sometimes, multidirectional and often not fully resolving its lines, and also in that said lines are great if you’re someone like myself who’s brain needs something to be chewing over while the more conscious parts are trying to do something else. To be clear, I consider this a compliment. Like most music I discuss, this certainly isn’t for everyone, as you’re going to need a tolerance for adrenaline and screaming to enjoy this album, but I do think it’s worth the attempt. Now, I haven’t listened to Doppelganger (or any of the other albums for that manner) in full, so I can’t comment on how the style of The Fall of Troy would evolve over time. But at the very least, this is a very solid starting point for what would become a surprisingly long-lasting act.

[heloflor]

Ducktales S2 episodes thoughts

So I finally caught up with Ducktales, since I stopped watching in the middle of season 2, right after “Whatever happened to Della Duck”; and I’ve decided to share my thoughts on each episode of the post-hiatus S2 and the episodes of S3 we have so far. So here is season 2 for those who are interested, and yes, this post is going to be long (this is definitely not the most practical way to do it but I don’t want to make one post per episode) :

“Treasure of the Found Lamp!” : not much to say on this one, aside from the fact that this is probably an ‘’’excuse’’’ to show more of the Beagle Boys (when you think about it, these guys barely show up after S1) and that the character of Djinn is pretty cool; I like him.

  “The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck!” : still a delight to see Scrooge and Goldie interact and see how these two are genuinely attracted to each other but their desire for gold prevent them from being together. Though honestly, you can’t convince me that they didn’t date at some point, unless one of the creators (*cough* Frank *cough*) says otherwise. I mean, in season 1, when Goldie is introduced, not only does Scrooge immediately calls her his ex but Goldie is also willing to kiss him 5 minutes into their first meeting in years. Seriously, in season 1, you can tell that these two know they are attractive to the other, they know the effect they have on each other, and it wouldn’t be surprising that they acted upon those feelings at some point, before betraying each other again. Hell, remember the best quote from this episode ?

“You love gold more than you loved me.”

“And that’s why you loved me.”

They’re literally admitting that they’re in love with each other, or at least loved each other at some point.

  “The 87 Cent Solution!” : this episode did not age well. AT ALL. But this aside, the scene with Glomgold showing up during the funeral was one of the most hilarious things this show has done. And speaking of Glomgold, I really like how threatening he was in this. It shows that when he has a plan in mind and the right tools, he can really pull it off. We need more of Glomgold being clever like that (though I’ll admit he is pretty hilarious the way he is and in season 3 we have our lot of serious/threatening villains).

  “The Golden Spear!” : And they were roomates ! But more seriously; speaking of threatening villains : Lunaris is amazing as a strategist villain ! I absolutely love the way he’s able to pass himself as the good guy and manipulate everyone to get what he wants, whether it be Della by asking her for the ‘blueprints’ or his own people by making Della a traitor to their eyes. Hell, even Penumbra is at a loss by the end of the episode and doesn’t seem to know whether she should obey or not. And speaking of Penumbra, her evolution throughout the episode is really great. I especially like how Della is just so oblivious to the hatred Penumbra has for her. Honestly this episode alone is definitely enough justification for the Penny/Della shippers.

As for the “B plot”, it was nice to see a bit more of Donald being a dad, especially with the kids starting to realize the impact their actions can have on him. Though, they made Donald such an interesting and tragic character in this show that I’m not that big of a fan of seeing him get hurt for laughs.

Oh and one last thing about Della : for some reason, that shot of her in the rocket, seeing the earth and crying while saying “mommy’s coming home” gets me very emotional every time I watch it. I think it’s because we know that she spent 10 years trying to get home to meet her kids, facing failure after failure; and finally, after all these hardships, she’s going back with nothing to stop her.

On the same note, Donald’s hope when seeing the rocket and his accidental launch were pretty heartbreaking.

  “Nothing can stop Della Duck!” : Ok, first off, that intro. It is waaay too early in the episode for such feels and I love it ! Although, on one hand I’m a bit disappointed that the boys accept their mom so quickly (I expected a bit more heartbreak) but on the other hand it works because they all have a different reaction that truly fit with their personalities.

Secondly, the way Della is in this episode. It’s perfect. She’s not a mother, this is something the fandom had realized ever since “The Last Crash of the Sunchaser!”. Della had children too early, at a time when she was too immature for such responsibility. And her ten years on the moon, most of them in total isolation, didn’t help making her wiser. So now she’s back, still as immature, but now she has three kids to take care of; and she has no idea what she’s doing. Also, like some people already pointed out last year (or at least it probably was last year), Della doesn’t immediately know about Donald leaving the mansion for a decade. To her, the triplets grew up exactly like she did, hence why she doesn’t think her scary story would terrify them that much.

I also really like how Louie was and how Scrooge and Beakley handled the situation. I like how one of the kids wasn’t completely sold at the thought of their mom being back, and Louie works as the insecure triplet there. As for the adult characters, I love how they both knew that Della needed to learn how to be a parent but at the same time she just arrived, so they kept their distance to let her be with her kids while at the same time being close enough to act if something goes wrong.

Finally, it’s sweet to see how Della is truly willing to learn how to be a good parent, although the road is still very long, even in season 3.

  “Raiders of the Doomsday Vault!” : Nothing much to say about the plot with Glomgold. It’s just Glomgold being Glomgold while Owlson and Scrooge are just done with his shit. As for Della and Dewey, it’s a great plot. We see Della trying to bond with her kids by doing what they like, and it was pretty obvious that Dewey would be the first on the list. After all, he was the first to wonder about his mom and they both share the same thirst for adventure. And it’s great to see how Della doesn’t know her kids’ abilities. So at first, she’s completely fine with putting Dewey in stressful situations; but by the end of it, she realizes how dangerous things are and what she could lose, while Dewey started to believe too much in himself due to what his mother told him, only realizing too late in which situation he put himself in.

So yeah, it was great to see Della discover what her kids are able to do during their adventures, especially their limits.

  “Friendship Hates Magic!” : So, when I watched in 2017-2018, I didn’t really understand where the whole Lena/Webby came from; but seeing this now, I was definitely blind (and it didn’t help that I used to ship Webby and Dewey until I discovered Ace Att//orney and the ‘found siblings’ relationship between Edge//worth and Fran//ziska). Also I’m a bit split on Violet. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a good character and I do like how she got interested in studying magic and her personality in general. But at the same time her personality kind of rub me the wrong way, not in a “she’s evil” way but more a “I don’t like her” way. It’s weird.

As for the rest, it’s sweet how Webby tried to be more normal because she’s afraid to lose a new friend, and her reaction to seeing Lena again was adorable. Lena was also really sweet in how much she cares for Webby and wants her to be safe.

As for the B-plot, it was nice seeing Beakley and Launchpad get along, and it’s pretty clever how what brought them together was their liking for heroism.

  “The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!” : Firstly, the kids are still shippers, which is a nice touch.

Secondly, that scene with Beaks and the lasers was amazing. If the scene at Scrooge’s ‘funeral’ is the best Glomgold scene, then the scene with the lasers is the best Mark Beaks scene so far.

Thirdly, I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that Launchpad is pansexual. I mean, if a person can date anyone regardless of species, then gender shouldn’t be much of an issue. Also Launchpad mentions in his ‘list’ a wereduck and a ninja, which are often considered as male (by that I mean that, while werewolves and ninjas can be both male/man and female/woman, when you think of one of them you’ll have a tendency to see them as masculine, because that’s how they are represented in media most of the time). He also mentions a clone of himself, so another same-sex relationship; and a talking cloud of energy, which I’m pretty sure doesn’t have a gender to begin with. So yeah. Pansexual Launchpad. Or at least non-straight Launchpad. And speaking of Launchpad, I like how he can tell that Fenton isn’t smooth at all and puts some music on to prevent the duo to be forced to talk; it’s a pretty sweet gesture. Honestly it’s great how Launchpad is often seen as a complete idiot but then you have those specific ‘fields’ in which he knows and lot and can really shine (*cough* the next episode *cough*).

Update after lurking on Tumblr : apparently there’s an LGBT+ Ducktales event and a member of the crew made an art about Launchpad and all the people he dated (including his clone and the cloud of energy and I love this person for adding this); and given the appearance of several of them, it’s clear that this guy is pan. By the way if you want to see the art just time “Ducktales love is like a hurricane” on Tumblr and you’ll find it.

Fourthly, the “It’s a date” song is great and catchy.

Fifthly, the fact that DR. Atmosphere feels insulted by Fenton not giving much effort really works with him being a reference to Doofenshmirtz. After all, in Phineas and Ferb, we see that Heinz is just a lonely guy who truly likes Perry and takes their relationship seriously, between writing his monologues to making big musical numbers to complain when Perry isn’t there at the right time (and yes, by season 4, being evil is more of a job to him than an actual wish to dominate the Three-State Area).

Finally, the heart of this episode : Fenton. This episode worked well in how it develops how Fenton views his new role as a popular hero. We especially see how he struggles to balance his two lives and his relationships, wishing to be liked for who he is as a person instead of as a hero. It’s also interesting how much work he does as a hero, to the point of not really caring anymore about being dramatic and saying catchphrases and all that yada-yada. His relationship with Gandra is also pretty nice, although it is very predictable and by the end of the episode, I’m not even sure if they do end up together ? Like, Gandra talks about a second date but it’s just a trick to get Fenton to say the code thing; and though she does help at the end and give Fenton the right ‘formula’ (she draws a molecule so yeah, formula) for his invention, she still leaves without much words and seems to have taken the original ball (I think ?). Though, the idea of them dating could be very interesting in regards of her afflictions with F.O.W.L.

  “The Duck Knight Returns!” : so, first off, I never saw an episode of Darkwing Duck before seeing the recent fanart of the dt17 fandom. I more or less knew the show existed as a kid (there was a channel with old Disney shows in the early 2000s) because I remember there was another show than Ducktales that had Launchpad in it but I didn’t like his character at that time so I never watched. But I recently started watching and I have to say, the most surprising thing about it has to be the fact that Drake has a girlfriend because holy shit this show is gay ! Seriously ! Two guys, living together and raising a child together, having tons of domestic moments. Whoever wrote this show had no gaydar whatsoever ! And honestly this makes the whole thing hilarious. But shipping aside, the show’s pretty good. It has different villains with different goals and personalities, they decided to make the action cartoonish, which works well, and the show has some pretty good and hilarious quotes there and there. But what really makes this show a great one has to be the domestic moments, especially the relationship between Drake and Gosalyn. These two are adorable and their father/daughter relationship is both wholesome and feels realistic. On the same note, it’s great to see how a show from the 90s was breaking the gender norms not only by making a single father character (or, if you see Launchpad as a father figure too, you could say making two men be parents) but also by having a girl be a tomboy without it being seen as an issue by anyone (except for like one episode). So yeah, Darkwing Duck’s a pretty good show and if you like the duckverse and haven’t seen it yet, you should give it a watch !

Now, onto the actual Ducktales episode. It’s really great. I won’t talk much about it because pretty sure it’s been talked a lot already but yeah, it’s a great way to introduce Drake and give a backstory to Negaduck. Though my favorite thing about this episode has to be Launchpad. I love how he knows from the beginning that Jim’s plan is bad but still feels like he should roll with it because the guy’s his idol. I especially like the detail of Launchpad covering the eyes of the Scrooge logo while breaking into the studio. Also the “I’m trapped in a prison of guilt !” line. I also really like his interactions with Drake, especially at the end when he inspires him to become Darkwing. It really shows that, while Launchpad’s an idiot most of the time, when he’s truly passionate about something, a much more smooth and clever side of him shines (seriously during that part when he inspires Drake to become a hero, he sounds so smooth and yet it seems to come so naturally. And you can tell how much respect it makes Drake have for him with the way he looks at Launchpad when putting his hat on).

One last thing to say about this episode : there’s that scene right before Jim tries to trap Drake in which Dewey and Launchpad talk about how things are currently going for them; and when Dewey talks about how excited the whole ‘making a movie’ thing is for him, for some reason I absolutely love the animation of Dewey jumping into Launchpad’s arms while Launchpad tries not to drop him. I don’t know, it just feels really ‘fluid’ or something (I have no idea what’s the language for animation) but yeah, props to the animators for that moment.

  “What Ever Happened to Donald Duck?!” : First off, the highlight of this episode is definitely the speech about Donald going to a therapist to control his anger. It’s simply amazing to have a children cartoon show a character having issues and deciding to deal with them in a healthy way, and it’s great to see Dewey realizing how much Donald does for him and his brothers and being touched by it. It’s also a great lesson about how you can’t make your anger magically disappear but you can work to deal with it in the best way possible.

As for the scenes on the moon, between Lunaris being extremely manipulative and planning everything, Penumbra trying to do what she believes is best and Donald’s determination to go home and parental instincts shining through, it was a really enjoyable episode. Not much to say about Dewey and Webby though. It’s just Dewey and Webby being Dewey and Webby.

  “Happy Birthday, Doofus Drake!” : Doofus is still as terrifying as before, Goldie is still the same gold-driven robber as usual, Louie is still looking for an easy way to get rich, Glomgold is still doing weird schemes and Beaks is still relying on technology too much. So overall, not much to say aside from it’s a great and fun episode; the scene at the end with Scrooge and Louie is sweet and Boyd is a precious baby. Also I still love Goldie’s character and it’s great to see Doofus’ parents finally be free from their son’s creepy bullshit. Also also, seeing Della bond with Huey was really sweet, especially how she was willing for a while to stay with him and his garden despite how boring it was to her.

  “A Nightmare on Killmotor Hill!” : again, not much to say. We get to see more of Violet’s character, along with what the kids dream of, which is a good way to reinforce their personalities but also their desires and fears (I especially like Dewey’s dream having him cry on the moon, it’s a great touch given that he spent an entire season trying to find more about his mom). And obviously, we get to see more of Lena and how afraid she is to be a bad person. I also like how it’s unclear by the end whether or not she can control her magic, which left room for season 3 to expand upon. It’s also great how by the end of the episode, her biggest comfort didn’t come from her friends but from seeing by herself the state in which Magica currently is. I don’t know why but I’d say it makes the whole thing more realistic ? Like, there’s only so much friends can do to help you, but seeing your abuser being in a terrible state is a much more direct proof that there’s nothing to fear.

  “The Golden Armory of Cornelius Coot!” : again, not much. It’s a classic fun episode with the kids trying to solve a mystery while some bad guys are on their tail. Though, I really like the whole thing with Webby trying to be more like Della, with Della starting to be a bit of a mom to her. I also liked seeing Della and Launchpad interact more and it’s still funny to see how the ship that so many people liked in season 1 is slowly fading away as we see Della having a hard time accepting Launchpad and as we have Tumblr remember how much it likes gay ships with the introduction of Penumbra and Drake (by the way, I’m not saying that Della/Launchpad is a bad ship; it’s just that I find it funny to see how quick a fandom is to change their opinion on shipping, especially when ‘gay options’ are created).

Although, Della felt a bit uncharacteristically cold and aggressive towards Launchpad, especially when compared to how she was with Dewey in “Raiders of the Doomsday Vault!”. But I guess it has to do with how she felt like Launchpad replaced her, making her more protective over her plane and her talent as a pilot.

  “Timephoon!” : so I have no memory of Bubba (the caveman duck) from the old Ducktales so I can’t compare him. But from what I’ve seen in this episode, he’s fine. Not the best character but he works as a one-off character and I wouldn’t mind a cameo or two in the future (as long as it’s not an entire episode focused on him because that would get boring pretty quickly).

Now, for the rest of the episode, I want to talk about Della, because she’s clearly the most interesting part here. Della was gone for a decade, she barely knows anything about her kids, especially the mischiefs they can get into, and that’s what the episode plays into. Della discovers that her kids don’t just get into danger from adventuring, they can put themselves in danger, more or less voluntary. And the way she reacts to it (along with the season finale) makes it feels like Donald and her never or rarely got into these kinds of situations, although Beakley’s line near the end of the episode might say otherwise. And speaking of which, I really appreciate how Scrooge and Beakley were when Della scolded Dewey. At first, Beakley was ready to step in when Louie made the comment of Della not being better than him; but Della made it clear that she needed to do it on her own. And afterwards, we see both Scrooge and Beakley respect her decision and staying silent as Louie is pleading them to step in. They know that Della needs to learn to be a good mother so they respect and support her decision. Though, if you search the name of the episode on Tumblr, there’s a post about how Della went too far given her current relationship with Louie, though it isn’t her fault as she doesn’t know him enough. You should try finding this post, it’s definitely worth giving it a read ! And yeah, there’s also a lot of other posts talking about the issue with much more analysis than I do so if you’re interested, go read the discourse on Tumblr.

  “GlomTales!” : first off, they used the takeover as the intro and I love every second of it !

Secondly, Della….yikes. Yeah. Grounding Louie was the right decision to make but forcing him to stay trapped in a room with a dangerous robot guarding him and ‘taunting’ him with recordings telling him about how much he fucked up, all the while the rest of the family is in vacation in a place he dreamed of visiting…I think you get the point. They went way too far with the punishment, so it’s no surprise when Louie wants to join the bad guys who let him do all the scheming he wants. And while Della accepted his personality more by the end of the episode, these two still need to connect more.

Speaking of the bad guys, they were pretty fun in this episode. I like how their different personalities and knowledge led them to act with each other. I especially liked Magica trying to get back her former glory and overstepping on Glomgold for the role of leader, Glomgold who is still as dramatic and dumb as ever while having actually smart schemes and I love it.

  “The Richest Duck in the Word!” : while the structure of the episode was pretty cliché (character suddenly has tons of powers but doesn’t realize the responsibilities that go with it), the ending with Louie and Scrooge was really sweet and satisfying. Honestly the season is supposed to be about Louie having a company and yet he and Scrooge didn’t have that many interactions (they still had some, but they could have more) so it’s really sweet to see them solve an issue linked to Scrooge’s company together.

And let’s not forget that Owlson finally stood up for herself and quitted (good for her honestly, she deserves a job where she can be happy and get what she wants done) and that Launchpad actually managed to land a plane without crashing (and it’s not even acknowledged !).

  “Moonvasion!” : the season finale, aka the one that should have its own post. You know what ? I’ll put the review here and, eventually, I’ll split it into its own post if it’s requested.

So, Moonvasion. Where to start. Ok, first off, it was an amazing episode. Just like the first finale, this was possibly the best episode of the season (depending of your point of view though, tastes and expectations are different). It was great to see so many characters come together and fight together, all with different fighting methods. I especially like Fenton’s mom being a protective badass, Beakley being a total badass and Gyro with his clone army (I especially love his line when everyone is debating on what to do and he’s like “Simple. Clone. Army.”. I just love the delivery here).

Secondly, I really like how they expended on Della there. As we’ve seen in previous episodes, Della still doesn’t know her kids and their abilities; so in the face of danger, she’d rather flee to protect her. On the other hand, Donald trust the kids to defend themselves and immediately starts strategizing with them. And speaking of Donald, I love how they acknowledge how much and how well he took care of the kids with the line about Della’s lullaby. In general, that entire sequence on the island with the twins and their kids (no incest intended) was probably the best part of the episode, along with the big fight with everyone and that “Hey kids.” line from Scrooge near the end. Oh yeah, and also the space fight with the moon theme playing and the family working together with the twins fighting and Scrooge being happy to have his angry babies back. This entire sequence was also amazing. And when Penumbra shows up, I love how she’s using the original spear of Selene. Again, just like last finale, the crew outdid themselves.

Another thing that I can praise here is Glomgold. I really love how they made his weird schemes work out. I also love how not only did he do this to help but he also used the situation to spite Scrooge by trolling him. Also earth baby jail. Just earth baby jail.

And speaking of strategists, I absolutely adore Lunaris in this episode. This guy was truly prepared for anything Scrooge could send him and it’s great.

Another character that I’d like to mention in this episode is Drake. Basically, watching the episode again, I’m pretty sure that guy has no fucking clue on what to do. I mean, we see him show up at Launchpad’s place at the beginning of the invasion, then he’s at the meeting with the others and gives ideas that show he’s much more on the theatrics parts of being a hero, which is fitting with him being an actor (side note that I forgot to mention earlier : I really appreciate that they made Drake an actor. It really fits with how overly dramatic he was in the old show; and it could play with his ego as well, though DT17 Drake doesn’t seem to have that big of an ego). Then, before the giant fight, he’s on a car with Launchpad and once Scrooge takes his place in it, Drake still holds onto it. And by the end of the second act, he’s trying to fight with Launchpad helping him. In other words, Drake spends the entire episode glued to Launchpad. So personally, I interpret it as Drake not really knowing what to do so, since Launchpad is the one who inspired him to be a hero in the first place and is the only one taking him seriously, Drake is going to try to stay with him and have him as support. And yeah, overall, the joke about nobody knowing who the fuck Drake is was pretty hilarious.

Finally, because no episode is perfect, here’s a few details that, while not making the episode any less amazing, still bother me a bit.

- When Della left Duckburg on a gigantic plane, how come no Moonlanders tried to follow her ? Hell, we know they came to her specifically and we see later that Lunaris was able to see her position; so what gives ? And even when they’re in Egypt, though I can understand why they wouldn’t try to follow since they only have one ship. But still, Della was able to fly for possibly hours before getting attacked, and they only got attacked because they landed on a place that was about to be invaded !

- What happened to Drake after he fainted ? Like, don’t get me wrong, I understand while we stop seeing him. After Scrooge see the landing of the ship, we get into the third act, which seems to take place a few hours after the previous scene (given that several characters changed clothing and it started freezing). And I know that, since it’s the third act, they only wanted the main characters to play a role. But still, one minute we see Drake faint into Launchpad’s arms and the next Launchpad arrives alone saying everyone was captured. So what happened to Drake ? I see three possibilities, all with a few flaws : A) Launchpad ditched Drake/the two split up. Let’s be honest, this didn’t happen. Launchpad would never let an injured person behind, especially not someone he admires so much. B) Launchpad tried to find a safe place to hide Drake so that the guy can rest; but given that they’re in an invasion, finding such a spot could be very hard. C) During the time between the two acts, they got attacked by Moonlanders and either Drake was too weak to fight and got captured or he basically sacrificed himself so that Launchpad can go try to find Scrooge; with a “He needs you more than me” move. But, again, it would feel weird for Launchpad to abandon someone but then again, if it’s for the sake of everyone by trying to find his boss, I guess it could happen. This scenario would even fit with the “everyone got captured” line. Though, if Launchpad and Drake got attacked which led to them being separated, then we were robbed of a perfectly good action scene !

- There’s a shot at some point where you can see Doofus and his family and I have two questions there : 1. Why are the parents still wearing the maid outfits (and why do they keep doing it in season 3) ? and 2. Can’t Boyd do anything to help them ? Like, I know he believes he’s a real boy but that doesn’t stop him from having some pretty powerful defense mechanisms.

Update (before the post was made; I know) : so I ended up wasting 4 hours of my life reading all of Frank’s answers that I hadn’t seen yet (the things asperger makes you do…) and apparently Doofus burned his parents’ other clothes. Still doesn’t explain Boyd tho.

- During the fight in space, when the Duck family started to lose, they took a few damages before finding themselves behind the rocket. So, if they were to take damage anyways, why couldn’t Della immediately pull them on the side to get out of the way instead of heading to certain doom ? And yes I completely understand that it was a very stressful situation so she did the first thing she had in mind. Honestly that last flaw is the one that bothers me the less in a characters’ standpoint, though it still feels like plot convenience.

  So that’s all for season 2 ! Again, I could put the finale on its own post if requested. As for season 3, it’d be in a second post. This one is long enough. The post for season 3 will most likely be split in half, with the last episode talked about depending on which episode airs last before the post is made.

[jjsjuiceboxx]

NOT SO SUBTLE

REQUESTED FOR: @www-imbored-com

SUMMARY- You and Drew have grown close filming season 1 of obx, you think you’re starting to love him and you think he likes you back because he is very touchy and he always makes sure he is sitting close to you.

⚠️WARNINGS⚠️: cussing.

A/N: this is just a bunch of fluff, happy reading :).

☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎

While filming season 1 of obx drew was one of the first people you got close with dont get me wrong you were friends with everyone and close with everyone but you and Drew’s friendship was a bit more then the others, you noticed how in the first month of filming season one Drew got a little flirty complimenting you every chance you got “wow that dress looks beautiful on you” which always led to you blushing. By the third month of filming he would open doors for you and always offering his water to you.

6 months into coming you guys held hands hugged and cuddled. In public the people who didn’t know you guys thought y’all were dating but you were not you never went on dates and he never asked you to be his girlfriend. Of course you hung out outside of filming but it was mostly with the group every now and then you two would go out alone.

Currently you were on set filming season 2 you had already done your scenes for the day but decided to stay back just in case they needed you to help or, or help madelyn take pictures and funny videos for tomfoolery, “hey did I show you the photo of Drew I took this morning in the trailers?” Madelyn asked after taking a photo of the sunset with the silhouettes of the pogues in the background looking like shadows “no, but now you said it I need to see it” you said she handed her camera over flicking to the photo and there it was Drew practically passed out in his breakfast burrito “oh my god that is gold he isn’t living that down ever”

Who isn’t living what down?” The man who uses a burrito as a pillow muses at you “oh nothing dearest drewseph” Maddie said laughing and putting her camera away “how was your day?” You asked calming down from laughing so hard you barely saw him today “it was good I missed my lady around, oh did you drink enough water? And eat? I know how you get when you don’t eat food” Drew reprimanded but sweetly you rolled your eyes “yes Drew I ate food dont worry they beast is in hibernation from a food coma” you said Maddie and Drew laughed “ok good we don’t need you to break another window” Maddie said remembering how you were starving you all were but you had it the worst and were so mad at Rudy and chase for messing around you punched a window and broke it then immediately apologized for breaking a window and said you were just really hungry Austin walked to you and literally shoved a hamburger in your mouth and you were so quiet for 20 mins while you at his hamburger feeling so much better ever since then everyone makes sure you ate so you don’t end up splitting them in half.

“Yeah yeah I’ve gotten a lot better” “yeah because we all remind you to eat or shove food in your face” jonas walked over to the three of you “hey guys so we just need the pogues for the rest of the day so it’s a wrap on you guys if you wanted to go and stuff” Jonas said and walked off quickly to direct what’s happening next “I was thinking of going out to this lake where you can rent paddle boards and canoes and stuff, do y’all wanna come?” Drew asked “yeah that sounds like fun I’ve never been paddle boarding before” “I would but I promised I would help out around with everything you guys have fun tho” Maddie said you guys said goodbye and hopped into a car.

Once you arrived you immediately took a picture of the view because it was so beautiful “Drew this is beautiful, how did you find this?” You asked amazed “aww yanno just some tourist site thing” you walked up to the people at the booth for the paddle boards once you got the paddle boards you and Drew started to paddle in the lake “so am I your lady or is there a secret women I need to know about?” You asked Drew laughing “oh it’s definitely you but i dont know one of the set members dog looked really good today” you both bursted out laughing “you’re such an idiot” “oh yeah well can an idiot do this?” Drew questioned before throwing himself off the paddle board and doing a flip landing perfectly into the water.

“No I guess an idiot can’t do that, you’ve proved me wrong starkey im quite impressed” you said clapping for him “good because I’ve actually never done that before and just hoped it would look cool not gunna lie I was trying to impress you” Drew said getting slightly red “well you’ve succeeded tremendously” you said you guys continued talking and paddle boarding deciding to race you lossed tho because you fell into the water.

“Drew look at the view it’s soo pretty oh my god” you said taking out your phone and snapping a bunch of photos you stopped when you heard a camera shatter and looked at your phone confused since you put your silencer on so it wouldn’t disrupt your time with Drew you looked over and Drew is looking at his phone smiling then he showed you the photo it was of you in the paddle boat taking a photo of the view “should I post this and be basic and caption it “she thought the view was pretty but I thought she was prettier” ?” Drew asked making your laugh “oh of course I’m trying to turn you into a white girl that should be the first step” you said you sighed “thank you for saying I’m pretty” you blushed and looked down at your reflection in the lake you guys paddle board was side by side so it was easy for him to take his hand to your chin and make you look at him “youre so welcome, honestly you’ve made this whole experience so great and I just want to tell you that I love you a lot and uh do you want to officially be my lady?” You laughed but said yes and you guys kissed it got a little heated because of all the sexual tension that had been built up you had tongues in each other’s mouths your hands in his hair and his on your bare hips on of the paddle boards almost flipped “maybe we should head back to set, also we took the only car for them to get home in” you suggested drew nodded not being able to form words and off to set you went.

When you arrived you saw everyone waiting all in their normal clothes “dudes did you really kidnap my car?” Austin asked “I wouldn’t say “kidnap” I just borrowed it” drew said air quoting kidnap “whatever you’re not riding shot gun for that and neither are you Y/N” Austin said getting in the drivers side you shrugged “SHOTGUN” chase belted out him and JD made eye contact and JD touched the handle first and sat down “gotta be quicker then that” JD said to chase you rolled your eyes and got in the back Drew got in right after you and you both intertwined your hands together the rest piled into the car and off you went to the apartment buildings.

Once you got on the highway JD plugged his phone in the aux and played music Rudy, chase, and both maddies were singing so loudly you got a lot of confidence from no where and unbuckled your seat belt and straddled Drew’s lap “what are you doing?” He questioned wide eyed “you’ll see just go with it” you mumbled and then started to lean in he surprised you when he met you half way and you continued what you had stopped at the lake his hands were squeezing your ass making you want to moan but you didn’t and you tugged on his hair “uh guys ? Can you like I don’t know maybe not do that?” Rudy questioned looking at you guys he was seated right next to drew one of Drew’s hands moved from your ass and waving off rudy. His hand immediately went back to where it was you felt everyone’s eyes on y’all now Rudy groaned annoyed “Ok you can borrow my car from now on” Austin said chase turned the song louder hoping you would stop Madelyn and Madison laughed you heard Madison say “that explains his insta photo she said showing everyone that he did in fact post it madelyn decided to take a picture and video recording “hey guys you gonna come up for air? She asked you just flicked her off you could hear the video replaying “dude this is gunna be so good for tomfoolery”

You guys pulled up to the apartment but you wouldn’t know cause you were still making out with Drew his hands in your shirt this time and you leaving slight hickies on his neck then going back to his lips and pulling his hair making him lean to the side so you can get better accesses chase turned around when no one got out of the car “yo love birds we are here” chase called but you still didn’t move Madison giggled “wow” Madelyn pulled her phone out again and recorded knowing the look on Rudy’s face meant he was about to do something funny “ok that’s it” Rudy stated frustration obviously on his face and tone because he was squished two on one of his side and then both the maddies to his left side keeping him from getting out of the car “I’m fucking hungry and squishedl” he complained turning towards you and drew who were still kissing you felt a hand on your forehead and then suddenly you were being pulled apart from Drew you opened your eyes to see the same was being done with Drew you moved your eyes from Drew’s to Rudy who was literally pulling you apart by your face “we are here it’s time you stop so I can get out” Rudy said his tongue out so he can focus on pulling you apart once he was satisfied he looked at you since you were closest to the door “now get out so I can get out and get food before I lose my shit” you got out and thought drew would follow but he wasn’t fast enough for Rudy’s liking “oh fuck it” Rudy said before climbing over Drew’s lap and then running to his and chases apartment door.

“Yeah don’t mess with Rudy when he is hungry he gets mean” chase said “much like Y/N just not physical leash not yet” chase mumbled “I’m going to my house to watch tv and for Cheetos” JD said “wait I’m coming, everyone out of my car” Austin said catching up with JD drew got out of the car and came straight to you “I guess this is goodbye” he said sadly “yeah I think it is” you said back just as sad “oh my god you live in the same apartment building 3 doors down calm down” chase said going up the stairs Madison followed to get her shoes she left the night before madelyn still there laughing at the video she got of Rudy pulling you and drew apart.

You hugged drew and went in for another kiss, Madelyn had left by now leaving the two of you out there you both pulled apart and said your goodbyes “goodnight drew I’ll see you tomorrow” “goodnight my lady” drew said you went to move out of his embrace but couldn’t he was latched on you tapped his shoulder but only got a hmm “babe, you gotta let go” you said laughing “I did” “yeah for 2 seconds” you literally had to pull him away from you and turned him around and slightly shoved him in the direction of his house he went to come back to you which led you to turn around and run away from him “Drew I love you but if you hug me one more time I won’t let go” you shouted as you got further away from him you heard him laugh and went into your apartment with both maddie’s you heard your phone ding and saw drew texted you saying that he missed you.

[piprocrastinator]

You Touch, I Touch

MewGulf

Gulf takes a retrospective look at himself and how he sees Mew. (alternately he likes Mews touch but isn’t sure how to ask for it yet.)

Length: 3732

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24749014

or

Gulf let out a tiny huff, rubbing his arms under the blanket. Not because he was cold, no, he was… itchy?

Not that Gulf was itchy, he wasn’t. Well kind of.

More like he had an itch.

Why did he have an itch and what was the itch for? Well, those are the question Gulf really wanted to figure out. Those same questions he’d been asking himself for the past couple days, no scratch that weeks now and he’s pretty sure he has an answer but he also really doesn’t because he’s not emotionally prepared for the answer.

He huffs again letting his hands fall to his lap as he sits alone on the couch, watching everyone mill about the room laughing and talking. Which is normal. It’s normal for him to sit off to the side, everyone knows he keeps to himself until needed, when their ready or when they want to, they come to him and he’ll join in conversation then. But until that time, he'll stay here, on the couch. And that's ok.

Or at least it was, until Mew took him under his wing, metaphorically and maybe a little literally, and started to bring him into the conversation. Mew was normally in the middle of the talking. He went to where the people were, he brought laughter like a gift. When Gulf was with him, they were in the conversation.

When Gulf was alone, he was here, on the sidelines. He was ok being on the sidelines, that wasn’t the problem. That wasn’t the itch.

It was a workshop, one of the few that basically everyone involved in the project was involved in, so the room was adequately packed. Which was another reason Gulf is waiting for people to come to him, interaction was.. tiresome to say the least. He wouldn’t really classify himself as an introvert but he probably leans more to that than extravert. Plus it takes him a while to warm up to people. He has gotten good at pretending, at least when he’s got the power of Mew beside him.

Gulf leans back into the cushion - they were lumpy and not that soft but it was fine- pulling his blue blanket to his chest. His eyes following Mew as he walks across the room to talk to Mild and Kaownah.

The itch was back. (Or rather he seems to be more aware of the itch in the presence of Mew.) He could feel it, right there under his skin. Crawling and pulling and just all over being a distraction to his otherwise sleep-filled time. He couldn’t understand it. Or rather he refused to understand it so that he didn’t have to accept its meaning. It’s part of his oblivious persona. And quite frankly, if he could purposely be oblivious to the itch he would and sometimes did.

Now though, was not one of those times.

It had been happening more and more recently too. Which made it extra difficult to ignore.

He would be fine. Everything would be fine at least until it wasn’t. He’s not really sure what will happen in the future to the ever-present and slowly growing tug of his soul. He’s normally a go with the flow sort of person and this blatant defiance of going against the flow was really messing with his groove to quote a certain emperor from that Disney movie.

It’s not fair that the more he ignores the itch the more he feels it. He feels the ache in his chest, the cold over his skin, the somber wind in his ears. He can practically hear the melodramatic music playing as the background movie in his own personal telenovela. At least that meant he was one of the leads in the show right? Only the leads get the really good music. (it’s not true but he’s going to keep pretending that it is because you know the most oblivious people are the happy ones right?... He was obliviously optimistic. )

He pulls the blanket closer, as tight as he could make it on his own, rubbing his arm absently. His head lulls on the back of the couch but his eyes stayed focused on Mew.

Fucking Mew.

Mew talking. Laughing. Engaging in interaction with everyone in the room like the social butterfly filled with charisma that he was.

And Gulf, he was on the couch, alone. Stupid itch. Stupid Mew. He wanted to sleep.

He pulls his feet up onto the couch tucking the under him so he can lean against the arm of the couch. He knew part -ok a very large and significant part, so much so that it might even be part of the main problem- of the reason for his unrest at the moment stemmed from Mew being ... there and not … here. He tries not to pout but he knows he’s not doing a very good job at it as he feels his lower lip puff out. He’s definitely pouting, and anyone within viewing distance could probably see it too.

He realized a little while ago that if they were in the same room together there was this… beacon, a sign inside of him that said comfort is near. Go to it. You belong there. In the beginning, it was a soft call, like the whispering breeze but then the more times they spent together, the more time Gulf spends in the rays of joy and sunshine that is Mews smile, wrapped in the sturdy roots that are his arms pulled against the solid chest that only knew warmth radiating from his core, the beacon became a siren. Both the loud annoying kind that warns you for tsunamis or twisters but also the kind in the waters of the ocean, getting louder and louder the closer you got until you've wrecked into the rocky cliffs, only to be drug down into the endless pits of darkness that are his eyes by the treacherous needs of the human soul. His mortal soul at the ever beckoning call, a call he likes to ignore but can’t.

Gulf exhales but its more like a sigh with meaning.

Mew had become his habit.

He knew from the first moment he saw Mew in that crowded room at auditions that there was something about Mew, something that called for him. And he fell for it. He fell for the call. He fell for everything about Mew in seconds. His soft caring eyes, his cheerful laughter that made you want to join in, his smile that melted even the iciest of hearts.

Mew wasn’t perfect, not by any means but he was human. A beautiful, kind, and caring human. Who gave the best hugs. Grand 'A' hugs. No one who’s gotten a hug from Mew would deny that fact.

There he said it.

He said it and is maybe trying to decide if he wants to take it back but it’s only to himself so he’ll let it slide. He gave the best hugs because everything about Mew felt like home regardless of if you knew him for two seconds, two weeks, or almost two years.

His theory is that Mews hugs were the best because of his strong arms, wrapping around you like a warm blanket, his steady breathing coupled with his heartbeat (much like the beating drum from the Pocahontas song). Then there was pat pat pat to his tummy like music that relaxed him more than any repetitive movement should. But it did. No matter the situation one simple touch from Mew and he immediately felt the calming effects and the closer they were the better he felt. As long as Mew was close he felt protected and safe. Mew would guide him. Care for him. Love him.

Oh gosh, Mew had the biggest heart and Gulf wanted to dive in and stay forever. To ask Mew to be there for him and with him, forever.

Maybe that was too much to put on one person, to expect so much of them with nothing to give in return but he did. He except and wanted it. He was selfish that way.

He blames Mew and his vendetta against personal space. Gulf has developed a habit. A habit of Mew never being too far away from him, always within reach and most of the time touching in some aspect. On the days when they were apart, he felt it. Deep in his core, he felt it. It was silly and he kind of hated it because that’s not fair to Mew who already gives so much to him. For him to ask for more, to ask for calls when they couldn’t see each other, to ask for a time when Mew wasn’t busy under guise of playing mobile games together, to ask for food dates because he missed Mew.

It’s weird to have a habit form because of some else. Gulf never imagined there a time when he would prefer closer over further away. He has never been the touchy type. Nothing past the normal stuff of friendship. The usual pats of the back or sitting close when talking or even the occasional arm over the shoulder. Friend stuff. He preferred not to do it himself but sometimes he let others close the distance. With his ex’s, he was touchy enough, and it was always a little weird. He just preferred distance because he was never good at initiating touch. Most of the time he didn’t know how to. And it had always been fine. No one questioned him or thought it was weird or tried to change it. It was fine.

But Mew.

Mew is ... the best hugger.

Mew loved touching and being close and even though in the beginning he asked before doing anything, he was still significantly more touching than Gulf was used to.

But he never disliked it. He'd never even thought to. The touches, Mew, had always been more than welcome in Gulf’s mind.

After the almost year and a half that he’d known Mew, he could name every flaw the other had, and not one of them was enough for him to feel anything less for Mew than he did in those first few moments of meeting.

Happiness and safety.

Maybe that’s why the habit he’s formed has created an itch. An itch saying that he wants Mew close, he wants his warmth, safety, and home within hugging distance no matter the time or the place.

How does he even begin to tell Mew this? The truth is, he doesn’t.

He just ignores the itch until Mew decides he wants to perform the lifesaving hug to Gulf because that’s just the generous kind of guy he is.

He waits until Mew wants him because he doesn’t know how to ask for what he wants.

Because he’s never had to.

Because he never needed to.

So he sits on the couch, trying his best to sleep or pretend to sleep or pretend that he’s not silently watching Mew. Silently willing Mew to come over to him, to take care of him instead of talking to everyone else in the room.

Gulf furrows his brows at the group, he feels a new feeling crawling under his skin, this one he can recognize easily- jealousy. Much like many other feelings in his life, he’ll ignore it. Ignore the way it creeps into his mind as he watches Mew laugh with one of the new actors. The new guy -whose name Gulf hasn’t quite figured out yet but he’s sure but the end of this workshop he’ll know it- nudges Mew as he talks before they laugh more. He’s pretty sure whatever it is they’re talking about isn’t that funny. Jealous isn’t something he’s fond off and he knows that he shouldn’t be jealous in the first place and if asked he’ll pretend he never was or is. Because that’s just who he is.

But now he knows he’s frowning and pouting and he knows he’s got the 'Type' eyebrow furrow. He’s not doing a very good job at pretending.

“You guys sulking again?” Mild leans against the other side of the armrest looking down at Gulf - who is just a little bit startled by his sudden appearance but tries to hide it by pulling his blanket closer to his face.

The soft smile on Mild’s lips felt like a mom's smile at their kid. Honestly, sometimes Mild could feel like a mom, teasing him and Mew but he always looked out for them. Well, Mostly Mew. But then Gulf knew the two had been friends for a while, even before Tharntype.

“No,” Gulf says smiling because he knows it’ll make Mild feel better even if it might be somewhat fake.

Mild fingers run through Gulf's hair, gently scratching at his nape before pulling away. “If you’re sure.”

“Yeah. I’m just napping until it’s time to start.” Gulf shot another smile up at Mild and he seemed to take the hint because he chuckles and walks away. Gulf reaches up and rubs his hand through his hair a few times, over the place that Mild did.

He has nothing against Mild it’s just not the hand he wants on him, it feels not right but he’ll never tell Mild no. Mild is touchy, not like Mew but moderately so and he has a good soul so Gulf won’t stop him. But right now, it’s not right, it’s like a weird aftertaste. Uncanny. He brushes over his nape before curling back into the couch, squeezing his eyes shut momentarily.

He blinks them open as he looks across the room. Mew was still laughing with them, Mild seems to have joined it. He could easily go over there too, maybe even lean against Mew and he knows that will prompt Mew into action. If he played his cards right he could sit in Mews lap and Mew would play with his tummy. It was a plausible strategy and a tempting thought.

He closed his eyes again.

The itch seems to make it’s come back now that he’s lacking in distractions. Is this Mew withdrawal? The lack of Mew interaction for a few days because of scheduling and now when they can see each other Mew is busy without everyone else but him.

Stupid Mew.

Stupid habit.

Stupid itch.

He thinks about calling Mew over and demanding interaction but that thought is fleeting because he is neither that stern in his ways nor is he that courageous to ask for what he wants when it comes to touching.

He won’t admit that he needs the touch because that’s not the kind of person he is.

He won’t admit that he misses Mew may be more than Mew misses him sometimes.

He won’t admit that when they can’t talk he feels sad, that he purposely bought some of the cologne Mew uses so he can feel closer to Mew. That sometimes he sprays it on his blanket so he can pretend that Mew is there when they haven’t seen or talked to each other in a while.

He won’t admit that he likes having Mew close is more for him than Mew.  

Mew does it because he can, Mew touches because that’s his personality. While Gulf stays by Mew because he feels safe, warm, protected, and... loved. Gulf needs Mew close.

The itch is getting to him. How long has it been since he’s hugged Mew. Years? No, they saw each other a few days ago, but it was for a live event and they didn’t get much time outside of the event to interreact. There was hugging but everything was strictly monitored so the hugs were… lackluster. And days ago.

Maybe he didn’t give himself enough credit though, because he’s been more active in the touching department.

Gulf sees flashes of different events and interviews they’ve done recently. He remembers vaguely asking to be in Mews lap while they laid on the bed. And even later that same interview when he silently willed Mew to pull him into his lap by mental strength alone. The Mc seemed pleased by their interactions so no one thought anything was weird. Because he was discreet, like a ninja. There was also that one MC that had been flirting with Mew, and Mew wasn’t touching him, Gulf remembers nudging Mews arm to get him to place his hand on his knee.

Gulf feels a little proud of himself at the progress he’s made. That’s two active times that he wanted to touch and he requested it and was given it. Maybe the habit hasn’t just created the itch for more but also given Gulf power needed to request it.

Will he one day be as touchy as Mew?

He scoffs softly, Impossible. He shakes his head against the couch, very aware that no one else can hear his thoughts but he needs the physical reminder to himself that Mew is Mew and he is Gulf and he will never be touchy like Mew but that’s ok because Mew compensates for him. And he’d done well in those instances. Progress.

He felt the couch dip next to him, the were no words so he assumed it was one of the staff. They probably assumed he was asleep. He peaks over his shoulder, and frowns, it wasn’t one of the staff. It was Mew and Mew was on his phone.

Mew was on his phone, not hugging Gulf even after all the time they spent apart. Rude. Gulf felt his bottom lip puff out -as if he hadn’t been pouting for the better part of the last half an hour. How dare Mew to respect his ‘sleep’ and not bother him like any respectable human being would. Mew was supposed to curl up with him and hug him.

Gulf let out a tiny huff but Mew stayed focused on his phone. He let out another one, a bit louder. When still no response came he gathered his inner strength that was built on the soul thought of Mew touching him and pushed himself off the arm of the couch so he could lean against Mew, head settling on his shoulder. He sighs at the touch. Better.

Gulf pat himself on the back. That’s three times now he’s initiated the touch. What an improvement. He’s going to be a pro at this soon if he keeps up this progress. He might even be able to rid himself of that itch because he’ll be able to get hugs when he wants them one day.

“I thought you would be asleep.” Mew's voice was soft and rumbled through Gulf's ears.

“I am.”

Mew chuckles before wrapping his arms around Gulf and pulling him down into his lap, leaning against his chest. Gulf looked up at Mew, ignoring the sputter in his heart as Mew smiled down at him. It was smiles like that where he wanted nothing more than to drag Mew to the nearest bed and take a nap with him. He was pretty sure there might be more to his thoughts than that but for now, he’s settled on napping in Mews warmth.

"Since when do you sleep talk?"

"Since always." Gulf smiles up at him.

"Guess I'll have to hang around more when your asleep and find out." Mew flicks his earlobe softly as he scrunches his nose. Gulf finds it adorable. He often finds it annoying that Mew can be so sexy and hot but also just as equally cute and endearing. It's human nature but it's still annoying. And he wants more of the duality all the time.

"You should.  Maybe every night will give you enough data for your research."

Mew flicks his nose before chiding softly. "Am I writing my dissertation on your sleep patterns now?"

"Of course, what else could you possibly want to write about?" Gulf smiles shyly up at Mew scrunching up his nose much like Mew did earlier, he could feel the blush on his cheeks. "Plus it's a win-win situation. you get to research and sleep all in one."

"And I get to be with you."

"Yeah," Gulf breathes out locking eyes with Mew, "With me."

Mew’s smile was soft and endearing and just the right amount of lip curvature to make his lips still be pouty. It was the kind of smile you want to see when you wake up, the sun shining in, next to someone you love as you lean in for a kiss. The kind of kiss that makes you want to smile the same way.

It’s gross and all too much and Gulf finds himself wanting to lean up into Mew.

He wants that kiss. He wants that kiss so badly in this moment. The morning kiss with that smile. He gulps. Mew’s eyes darken, something sparkles inside them as Gulf feels fingers tug softly at his ear lobe.

It would take nothing for him to fix the distance between them. He thinks for a moment that he might actually do it. Might actually lean up to capture those awaiting lips that he knows are sweet like cotton candy. Those same lips he’s kissed many times for a camera and a few times off-camera for practice but never just because they could. Never because they wanted to without any other reason. Never like this.

Gulf can feel his body humming in anticipation. The beacon in his head blaring at him, surrounding him with the sirens call, telling him to succumb to his human wants. To be strong and ask for things he wants.

He almost does too but the moment is shattered by Mame and the director calling for the cast to gather to start the workshop.

Mew pats his shoulder helping Gulf sit up so they could join the rest of the group on the other side of the room. Mew stays close, a hand on his back or around him but doesn’t look at him. Eyes swiftly looking anywhere but Gulf eyes for most of the workshop. Eyes only meet when they need to.

But Gulf doesn’t comment on it. He just glances at Mew every chance he gets and wonders if he’ll be able to sum up the courage to get that moment back during a time when they might actually be able to fulfill it.

[arabellaaaas]

Favourite Worst Nightmare

Part 1: When the sun goes down

|An Alexander Turner x Arabella Davis fanfiction series |

When two broken hearted meet, they try and hide their past. This is a story about two young adults whose pasts won't let them find happiness again in each other's arms right away.

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: I am so anxious about posting this, oh Dear God. I have been working on this for maybe more than a week, maybe two? I am so so so sorry about every grammatical mistake I've made throughout the whole story :(. I promise that the story will get better as it goes, trust the process guys. If you read it, tell me your opinion! I really want to hear what people have to say and make friends! Ok enough talk now lolol.

Things are cooling down at the Mardy Caffe. The sun begun to go down, meaning her shift is over. As she went to the huge glass door to flip the "OPEN" sign to the other side that said "CLOSED",her phone starts ringing. She looks at the bright screen, smiling a little and picks up the call. It was her friend that was planning on yet another "adventure" as she calls it. While her friend, Bree McDow, was bragging about how fun it will be, she was cleaning everything behind the bar. She listens carefully to her friend's remarks about the place she wants to go, trying to figure out how cool that place must be in Bree's head. The begging continued for at least half an hour. The brunette was already finished with the cleaning part and she was then locking her workplace.

"Do I really have to come?" she says, trying to shut Bree's mouth that had been talking for the whole time. A question to which the woman on the other side of the call replies "Of course you do. I'm your only friend, remember?". They both went silent. It was true, she was her only friend and pretty much the only person she could trust. She wanted to say no, but she heard Bree trying to speak again so she only let out a sight. "Come on, Arabella. It's been almost eight months since that jerk broke up with you. Don't you miss having fun while clubbing with me and flirting with random handsome guys?". She couldn't help but laugh. "You said we are going to a bar, not a club. You know there's a big difference between the two" she says, trying to convince Bree not to go. Of course, she couldn't. Bree's stubbornness is as big as ocean's level. You just can not make her change her mind or to make her let you do what you want if she wants you to do something with her. After all, she was right. Ever since the break up with her ex-boyfriend, Arabella only hung out at her place when Bree would be coming over. She once was the social butterfly that everyone was talking to. Never missing a night out, flirting with a whole lot of guys, dancing to every song that came on, smiling at everyone and trying to hide her dark side. It was working, she was feeling much better. When she met her ex, she thought that he was the reason she is happy. She was so much into him and thought it was the same for him too. But it all ended up when she found out she was cheating on her for almost half of their relationship and he wanted nothing more than just be with the girl everyone had an eye on.

"It is a bar. You know that I don't like clubs either. Come ooon, pleasee!" She gave up when she heard Bree whining like a little child she is. In the end, Arabella accepted her friend's offer and decided she will go with her. No words could describe the happiness Bree expressed over the phone. After she hung up, she went home and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. Maybe it wasn't so bad to have fun again.

____

"Bloody hell, you're such a lady. We're only going to a bar, Miles! It's not like you are going to meet the love of your life" a strong voice could be heard from the kitchen. The only one that wasn't ready was, of course, Miles Kane. He was always the last one to be ready, but this time it was early. Which was weird for him to see that the sun wasn't even down and Matthew already starting making jokes. "Oh shut up. The sun didn't even set and you already want to go to grab drinks. You have beers in the fridge, idiot", he fought back.

"We are going to walk there, Kane. Of course, he is mad that you are taking so long." said the last man out of the three, looking out the huge window that caught the perfect view of a wonderful colorful sunset. "What do you mean we are going to walk there?!" Kane exclaimed, looking over at him as if he committed a crime. It was almost a forty-five-minute walk to the place they wanted to go to since Kane lived on the other side of the center of the city. He had a car but they all knew they shouldn't take it since they are all going to drink for sure and no one wants a 200 dollars ticket for driving while drunk. Plus, they didn't really want to die. "Do you want to die while you drive back with almost an alcohol intoxication? I don't even think you are going to be able find your own car" Matt laughs as he looks over to Alex who was just taking a cigarette out of his now empty pack. Kane started mumbling something for himself that no one else could understand. Until he was finally ready, Matt went over to sit in front of Alex drinking a cold beer. He looked at his slicked-back hair and said: "So are you going to look for someone new tonight or are you going back to your own committed self?".

Alex grinned while inhaling the smoke that came out of the cigarette he just lighted. He started smoking when he was seventeen and he always says that it's one of the worst habits he has, but he never actually tries to change that. Everyone knows that Alex cannot put his eye on a lady for more than a week. He always says that they are not his type, or that he doesn't like this or that. It's been almost two years since he last been in a relationship that actually lasted a long time. But he was left for someone else, just as every other heart-breaking love story ends. He tells everyone that he moved on, and maybe he did, but his trust issues never actually left him after that episode. "Aren't we ~going out with the lads as we used to?~" he quotes Matt's saying from earlier, moving his eyes to him so he can analyze his face. "I mean, yeah, but you're the one to always flirt when we go out ~with the lads~, right? I mean, you're Alex Turner, am I right?"

"I don't know where you want to take that" Alex smiles, knowing exactly what point he was trying to make. Right before Matt could say something, Miles finally got ready and they had to leave. Alex got his black leather jacket, checked his pockets to see if he is missing something and then they left. They are making jokes about their other friends that could not go with them and about their college memories when they were hanging out to the place they were going to now. It's only been four years but it feels like everything happened ten years ago.

In about forty minutes they arrived at the bar and as they expected, a lot of people were already there. Most of them were outside smoking and chatting, while inside there were also a lot of people who were dancing. It was unexpected for people to start dancing while they were still sober. The three men found a table where they could sit and made themselves comfortable cause they were going to spend a lot of time in there. "I see that Kanes already spotted some fit birds, am I right?" Matt already went off joking about Miles looking around, cause he always does that. He is looking at every person he can see in a crowded place in hopes of finding someone he could go home with.

Time passed by when they found themselves starting a conversation over to the bar with a group of girls that were enjoying their drinks. There were four of them. Two blondes that were looking like two young models, a brunette that was looking around her as if she just woke up there and didn't know why she was there and a ginger girl that was really chatty and clearly a try-hard. None really caught Alex's eye, but he liked the energy the ginger girl had so he kept on making conversation with her. His sunglasses were now hung on the collar of his kind of loose shirt. It was his thing to wear sunglasses absolutely everywhere he was going to, no matter what hour. When he was about to order another drink, two women passed by. He suddenly became interested in one of them. Long black hair, falling messily on her back, wearing an oversized black denim jacket with black shorts and knee socks. He couldn't really see what shirt she was wearing but she surely reminded him of someone he swore he would spend the rest of his life with. He kept glancing at her for a long time, studying her movements and everyone who approached her. She seemed to talk to everyone, giving everyone different looks and glances.

"OH, so you actually placed your eyes on someone for once, huh?" the ginger girl that he didn't even know the name said. She already noticed that he wasn't into her so why not just keep on talking to him as acquaintances. Matt overheard what she said and in a second, his eyes were already all over Alex. He smirked for himself and pushed him with his elbows asking "What are you waiting for, Turner?" And he didn't have an answer for that. He didn't really know how to approach her, she didn't look like someone that would easily fall for the same old tricks. When she got up and walked over to the door with a pack of cigarettes all by herself, that's when he knew he had to go and smoke. "I guess smoking isn't too bad, isn't it?" He tells the boys and leaves, being right by her back.

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x10 Ballad

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x10 Ballad “Ok, who can tell me what a ballad is?” “It’s a male duck”

ok, I disagree with Schue’s definition of a ballad. “Stories set to music” – um…isn’t that every song? Or is it just in musicals that it’s supposed to be, lol?

“Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio showchoir committee FINALLY paid off” and the look she gives Puck. Haha. This Rachel Berry is funny. Cause they’re letting us laugh at her right along with her. Not asking us to put her on a pedestal and/or take her seriously all the damn time. I’m not even gonna get started. I’m watching this post Props/Nationals, and though I didn’t think it could, my hate has grown. In abundance. Trying to keep it in check. Moving on…

“I bet that duck’s in the hat”

“Matt’s out sick today. He had to go to the hospital cause they found a spider in his ear” Um, ew. Also terrifying. However, humorous nonetheless. And an effort to explain a random absence of a Glee club member. Remember how they used to do that?

Aw, Artie drew Quinn’s name out of the hat. :) 2 seasons later and they’ll get 2 duets (both of which I loooove). Shame they didn’t do it this ep. Romantic or just friends, I ADORE the chemistry with Diana and Kevin. I really wanted to see more of that. :(

omg. Kurt’s face when Finn pulls his name. Adorable. Also, I love that Finn is not cool with it but a year later Sam is totes fine. Maybe that’s just cause I love dudes that are comfortable enough in their sexuality to do things that d-bags in high school might tease them about being gay for. Or maybe that’s just cause I love Sam Evans. Couldn’t tell ya. Except yeah, I totes could. It’s cause I wants a Trouty Mouth to call my very own. *lesigh*

“other asian” Ha!

Brittana!

“The fates talked, Mr. Schue” #BlessFinnsHeart

I love the voice-overs during Endless Love: “Screw him if he thinks he’s taking the Diana Ross part from me” “I love the days when I wear no underwear” “I never noticed how nice Rachel’s butt is…oh crap! I think Quinn knows I’m staring at it!”

I also love the facial expressions of Rachel and Mr. Schue here. Hilarious.

Haha – Brad’s like “wtf is happening?”

“Crap – she looks crazy right now!” hahahahahaha

Because of Rachel’s realization through this song, it means Lea Michele can’t squint nearly as much. Wow. It’s like a whole new Rachel with her eyes open while she’s singing.

Artie’s face after the duet. It’s like someone stepped in dog poop.

Ok, Charlotte Ross was in a show in the 90’s I used to watch that, if I recall, failed miserably but nonetheless had a brief stint as my guilty pleasure show. And I can’t remember what it is for the life of me and keep forgetting to look when I have access to google it. Anyone?

“I don’t want you to lift a finger for me. I’m your wife!” Oh wow. So unhealthy. So republican. Soooooo some parts of Ohio. These are the folks that voted for Bush. :/ Yep, I’m still ashamed to be from Ohio when I think of that election.

Suzy. Pepper. Yes. I love this actress. Bright and Hannah were my OTP on Everwood. I miss them.

“You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath. That’s so romantic.”

“Listen, you little psycho, this is Will’s wife, and if I don’t get enough sleep my anti-depressants won’t work, and then I’ll go crazy and I’ll kill you.” Oh Terri. So maternal and loving.

Suzy Pepper is sobbing to More Than Words. That was my jam back in the day!

“Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling…and….inappropriate.”

“Thank God I never missed a piano lesson” – really Kurt? Is this the first and only time we’re to believe Kurt can play piano well enough to accompany someone from memory?

Finn singing I’ll Stand By You to a sonogram dvd on his laptop. I have no words. I don’t think I thought it was this weird the first time I watched it.

So Finn’s mom busts him singing to said laptop sonogram dvd…and he doesn’t close the laptop…or stop the dvd…or try to hide the screen. He sits up next to it as she approaches him, almost begging her to see it. I felt the same way then as I do now – it was an opportunity for him to not tell her necessarily but for her to find out anyways and I think he really wanted her to know so he could go to her for help and comfort and to relieve everything he couldn’t deal with about the situation. I’m just sayin’.

Oh old school Carol with her denim and that hair…she’s still such a great mom though. And this actress. My God. She’s amazing.

“You’re wrong, I’m right. I’m smart, you’re dumb.”

“Dude. Impulse control!” haha

“I dunno why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he’s cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbows.” #BlessFinnsHeart

Oh Young Girl/Don’t Stand So Close to Me mash-up. I fell in lust with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.

Seriously. Matthew Morrison is so hot in this mash-up. Yowzah.

“So, Rachel, do you think you understood the message I was trying to get across with that ballad?” “Yes! It means I’m very young and it’s hard for you to stand close to me.”

“You’re a very good performer. He’s very good.”

Finn and Kurt bonding over their lost parents. This is a sweet scene.

“You think I should bring a gun?” #BlessFinnsHeart

“Casserole’s almost ready. Hope you like venison!” Ok. TERRIFYING to come home and find Rachel Berry in an apron, cooking you dinner, in your home.

Hey, remember that time that Rachel literally sang 3 lines of Crush and they released it in its entirety as a single from this episode? Ridonk.

“I found out today that my hamster was pregnant in biology class and I just started weeping!”

Aw, Mercedes and Puck are paired up for duet ballads.

haha. Babygate.

“Finn’s not the father! I am.” People be spilling out their truths to Mercedes y’all.

“Alright, look, you need to get something through your Mohawk real quick: you’re the baby’s daddy. It takes a hell of a lot more to be a father and that role’s already been cast because Quinn chose Finn. You need to accept that and move on cause you have no business messin’ up that girl’s life more than you already have. You need to back off. You owe her at least that much. ”Aw, Mercedes. Laying down tough love. And looking out for Quinn before they were even friends. Man. I love Mercedes.

Oh that’s right – Quinn has an older sister! Why did we never meet her?

“He wears a helmet when he plays, right?” – THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN’! #BlessFinnsHeart

“I have to go, they’ll think I’m pooping.” Hehehehe.

omg. So I love this still. Finn is doing karate moves in the bathroom mirror to pump himself up to sing to the Fabrays that Quinn’s pregnant. That is so effing funny. What happened to this Finn?

You’re Having My Baby. Haha. This song is so cheesy. This scene is so uncomfortable.

So Quinn’s parents, unlike Finn, are NOT simple-minded and have figured it out. And it’s terrifying.

“We didn’t even have sex” #BlessFinnsHeart

Quinn’s parents are kicking her out. Well, her dad is and her mom isn’t standing up to him. This is rough. Especially when you realize they’re supposed to be 15. So wrong. Poor Quinn. And her dad just screamed at her that she was a disappointment. Yeah…she’s had to deal with some shit. And in the end, they don’t acknowledge that she did and try to make her out to be the bad guy, and selfish… Way to go, RIB.

Oh good ole Carol, without a moment of hesitationlets Quinn stay with them.

“Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.” Carol’s the best. So glad she found Burt.

“We’re not so different, you and me. We’re both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings which only reinforces the conviction that we’re not worthy of being loved. Trust me. I’m a cautionary tale. You need to find some self-respect, Rachel. Get that mildly attractive groove back.” Suzy Pepper, ladies and gentlemen. Dropping truth bombs.

“There’s some boy out there who’s gonna like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don’t like. Those are gonna be the things about you that he likes the most.” Hmm…might be true. Never thought about this, but I’d say that describes Jesse. But not Finn so much. Maybe recently. But…he has made several comments about her being annoying or controlling as they were dating. And not in a ‘those are my favorite things about her’ kinda way. Just sayin’.

Aw. Kurt seems like he feels really bad about Quinn getting kicked out.

“Open your eyes! I didn’t tell you to close your eyes.” “Is there a cake?” No, there’s no cake!” #BlessFinnsHeart

Lean On Me. Watching this now, with one ep left and it’s graduation…yeah, I’m crying. Dammit, Glee.

haha, Mercedes just kinda pushed past Rachel who was front and center to sing her solo. Probably not intentional but still funny.

Damn, Kevin McHale.

Damn, Amber Riley.

SOLOS: Rachel (1), Will (2), Finn (2), Artie (1), Mercedes (1)

[amazonianbeauty]

Nobody Else

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 1.1K

Summary: You and Bucky don’t have the normal kind of history with each other, Ex’s are supposed to avoid each other, aren’t they?

This here is my first Tumblr fanfiction that I have written to post ever. I wrote this for @ruckystarnes Summer of AUs challenge. 

Prompt: #15. Exes AU

Warnings: Jealousy, Violence, Intimidation tactics, Std mention, lies

A/N: I got the idea for this story, after hearing the song Boyfriend by Ariana Grande & Social House.

Excuse my summary, I really suck at them. This is actually mild for me, so I don’t believe I need an 18+ warning. Enjoy!

Waking up had been an ice-cold splash of water to your brain, you didn’t think you would ever see his face again. Or at least you thought you would be over him by now. A year apart with no contact should be enough time to get over someone right? Oh who were you kidding, the minute you two had locked eyes at Sam’s welcome home party, you knew shit wasn’t over with. If that wasn’t enough to convince you, the surge of jealously you felt when you saw James Buchanan Barnes with his date for the evening, was painful confirmation. Removing yourself from your own mind, you looked away from the body that lay next to you in bed and made to get up from the bed. As you walked in all your naked glory, you began to reminisce on how you had gotten to this familiar point.

At the party you quickly looked away from Bucky’s gaze, turning your back towards your former flame. Throwing back your shot of liquid courage, your brain began to work on a plan to run the latest of Bucky’s flings, off. 

For years since your 1st breakup, you and Bucky had a sort of unspoken agreement that neither of you would date anyone else. So of course when either of you did attempt to move on, the other would run the poor, unsuspecting person off in various ways. 

Such as the time when you both were in high school, and Bucky was upset about you not being his date to the Senior prom. He had roughed up your date in the middle of the evening out of your sight. Leaving you to wonder where your date had run off to. The poor guy was so shook, he wouldn’t look at you for the rest of the time that was left of the school year. 

You retaliated a couple of months later when you and he were in college, spilling your very full red Solo cup of beer on the unsuspecting girl he had been flirting with at the first party your mutual group of friends had decided to attend. 

Then there was the time he lied to your blind date that Nat and Wanda had set you up with, telling the guy that you had given him crabs. You obviously never heard back from that guy again. 

There was also the time right after Bucky had come home from being honorably discharged from the Army, after losing one of his arms. Steve had mistakenly slipped and mentioned that Bucky’s “work wife” would be attending the party also. You had convinced your little sister from the Big Sister/Little Sister program to run into the party yelling “Daddy” and attaching herself to Bucky’s legs, while you berated him in front of everyone about abandoning you and “his child”, turning to the work wife and telling her that he owed thousands in child support. Needless to say, you didn't ever see her around again. 

None of these incidences ever ended without an argument between you two, which would lead to makeup sex. Except you two never made up, one of you always waking up the morning after and sneaking out, leaving the other to awaken to a cold, lonely bed. Your friends thought the way you and Bucky treated each other was absurd and weird. It was clearly an unhealthy situation, but you knew he loved you and you loved him. You two just had your own screwed up way of showing it.

That was just it though, you loved him way too deeply, too much for your own good. As you began to wash your hands, so you could exit the bathroom, Bucky stepped in and began to plant kisses along your neck and shoulder. A moan tried to bubble itself up from within your throat, but you smothered it down and stepped away from him. I’m tired of the games, this needs to end.  

You stared into his eyes, “James we need to talk.” 

Before you could finish the sentence, Bucky began to shake his head no. “Every time you call me by my first name, it’s to start an argument.” 

You huffed to yourself while picking up your clothing, “You only think that because you’re stubborn and don’t want to hear what I have to say.” 

He reached to snatch your clothing out of your grip while raising his voice an octave.”Because you always say the same thing, every time we discuss quote, unquote us.”  

You held the clothing behind your back, out of his reach, “You see, you know exactly what we need to discuss, and yet you choose to shut down every time without hearing me out, I’m sick of it!” you yelled. 

You and he stood still, staring each other down in challenge, your eyes broke away first. “I’m tired of the tit for tat Bucky, this needs to end.” 

He takes a seat on the bed while rubbing his hand down his face. “What are you talking about Y/N?” 

“This nonsense of you and I disrupting each other from moving on. We’re getting too old for this game babe.” You walked to stand between his legs, lifting his chin with your hand.  

“I thought I would be ok with having just part of you, on occasion, but it isn’t enough. I want all of you Bucky or none of you.” 

Bucky got up and walked around you, dressing himself as he spoke. “Y/N you know why we can’t be together.” 

You turned to face his back as he looked out of the window. “Yeah, we can’t because you won’t get out of your own head.” “You keep trying to shield me by telling me you're a train wreck, and that you have issues, but I don’t care if you do.” Closing the distance between the two of you, you wrapped your arms under his arm and around his body. “Why can’t we work on them together.” 

He turned to face you, instinctively wrapping his arm around you, too. “How do I know you won’t run off when things get too real?” 

 Looking at him in surprise, you began to laugh, “Are you kidding me, how many more girls do I need to scare away to get you to see that I don’t want you to see nobody else?” You’re it for me Barnes, so what do you say?”

 He looked at you mischievously and started to unbutton his shirt. You stopped his hand in motion, “What are you doing? We just got dressed.” He pushed you to the bed and climbed on top of you, “I figured we should christen the start of our new relationship.” He then dove for your neck, making you burst into a fit of giggles.

[preface2adreamplay]

Under Your Spell (Part 14) - Morning After You

Summary: A Jared Padalecki/OFC/Oscar Isaac fiction.

Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. Her ex, Oscar isn’t sure what to make of her new relationship. Should he step in or leave her be? (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.) Married Jared, single Oscar!

Chapter warnings: Cursing

Chapter WC: 1,928

You doubt and you're desperate, you wear both your cross and your hammer.

Reactions to Twin Flames had been better than she could have ever imagined. The distraction of Jared visiting kept her away from the anxieties of releasing another new song. He had left an hour before the bus pulled away, holding her face in his hands, kissing her like he would never see her again. She missed him already. Already pining for him. He felt the same.

As she made her way across state lines, texts were coming through from everybody she knew.

Jared: I miss you so much. I keep watching this video, wishing we were making it all over again.

Stef: Making the video or making love

Jared: Both :) 

Claire: My god, that video is hawt. Brendan misses you, he’s being a douche rn.

Darius: Mom, that video is amazing, I’m glad I didn’t have to see dad doing those things to you though. Warn me if the next one will be that graphic pls.

Oscar: I was not expecting the video to be like that. It’s both beautiful and confusing. 

Stef rolled her eyes. She could just imagine Oscar’s brows furrowed, thinking over the video. 

Stef: It’s past demons coming for me. I’m allowing them to devour me so I am reborn. I thought you’d be happy for me. Growing up and moving on.

Oscar: So happy for you. x

Several messages popped up from Jared while she drank her third coffee that morning.

Fuck

In trouble

They were Paps

Gen angry. 

HELP ME

Stef snorted with laughter. He was really panicking. 

Chill. I’ll put something up on my twitter about us hanging out, it should take some heat off.

Sure enough, it did. Stef had posted a short tweet about Jared coming to NY to celebrate the release of the song. She tagged her bandmates too. Mentioning that she would see her fans at the next show in Pittsburgh. 

Two more shows in Canada, then home. 

Just before she stepped on stage that night, she shot off a text to Jared.

Stef: Everything ok now?

It was hours before he replied. 

Jared: Still in trouble, will call you later.

They were travelling again, hitting the road as soon as the show was finished. They all stank of sweat and beer. Luckily, they were staying in a hotel the next day. Her phone, on silent, flashed with Jared’s name across the screen. Keeping her voice low while the guys slept, she answered, her heart hammering in her chest.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey you,’ his voice just as low as hers.

‘What’s going on?’

‘Oh, just, Gen not happy we got caught. Photos of us on some gossip website. Did you see?’

‘Nah, I don’t care much for them. I didn’t have food on my shirt did I?’

Jared snorted, the tension easing as he laughed. ‘No. Gen showed me the photos but I told her not to look. We were just having lunch.’

‘Well, don’t look at comments on anything right now, it might upset you.’

Jared sighed heavily. ‘I hate that I’m getting in trouble over this. Can’t I just see my girl without someone else putting it out there for everyone to see?’

‘That’s kind of part of the agreement, honey.’ Stef yawned. She couldn’t help herself, her mind and body were achingly tired. 

‘Yeah, but I broke the rules by going to see you.’

‘What rules?’

‘Well, we date other people when I’m away working. And I’m not working right now, I will be in a week or two but yeah, I may not get to see you all too soon. I’m sorry.’

‘What does that mean for us?’ Stef swallowed a lump in her throat.

‘Nothing baby, I just have to put my energy into my family right now. The kids missed me and I missed them. They’ll be back at school soon...’

‘So, I’ll be put on the back burner.’

‘Nah not like that. Come on.’ He pleaded.

‘It is like that. It’s what we signed up for. It’s not like you’re leaving your wife for me, you have to work between the two of us.’

Jared was silent on his end of the phone, it made Stef feel uncomfortable, she really didn’t know how to move forward in the conversation. 

‘If that’s what you still want,’ Stef said, her voice lower that before. Her fingers winding into her hair nervously.

‘I always want you. Never think that I don’t.’ 

‘But you want to take a break from us for a while?’

‘I don’t want to, but it looks like we have to.’ 

It wasn’t final, but it felt like a kick in the gut. 

Stef couldn’t agree to it, couldn’t say yes or no or fight with him. 

‘Stef?’ His voice came through, she could hear his longing. 

‘Yeah, it’s fine.’

‘No, it’s not. It’s not what you wanted. You told me you didn’t want this to be for everyone else, it was just for us and I promised you that. I said it was just for us. I fucked it up.’

‘I wouldn’t take it back though.’ Feeling as though she couldn’t punish him for everyone else’s reaction to it. It seemed so simple all of a sudden. 

‘No I don’t regret a single thing. Maybe I just need to be a little more careful.’

‘We need to be more careful. I don’t want to talk about shit I know nothing about but I hope your wife isn’t too upset about this.’

‘Yeah well. I’ll have to work to get back in the good books.’

‘Good luck with that!’ 

Jared hummed on the other side of the phone. ‘You know what will get me through the next few days? A picture of my girl.’

Stef smiled. ‘Of me now? I look horrid after the show.’

Jared chuckled, ‘Impossible. And send one to me tomorrow too. I need my fix.’

‘Are we talking kinky pictures or...’

‘Well, now that you mention it, the idea is in my head.’ 

Stef bit her lip, curiosity taking over. ‘Maybe I’ll take a sexy picture. You’ll have to wait and see.’

‘Oh, baby don’t make me wait.’

‘He complains! After having me several ways yesterday.’

Jared whimpered. ‘I’m touching myself through my pants right now.’

‘Behave,’ she scolded playfully.

‘I can’t! You make me feel desired.’

‘Hey, can you not quote my lyrics to me!’

Jared started laughing then, feeling the funk of the last few hours draining away. ‘You make me feel so much better about this whole situation.’

‘It’s nothing, Jared. You can move past this. And I’m here until we decide otherwise.’

‘You mean if we decide to break up? Which we’re not.’ Jared pressed, ‘we’re not are we?’

‘No.’ Stef said with finality. 

There was a voice in the background, she heard Jared pulling the phone away from his face. 

‘I gotta go.’

‘Ok, good luck.’ Was all she could say before she heard his weak ‘goodbye.’ 

***

‘Brendan! My little douchebag, you miss me?’ Stef was kneeling on the floor of Claire’s hallway. Brendan was rubbing himself against her legs, annoyed that she had left him and happy that she was back. He couldn’t decide to be excited or just ignore her completely.

‘He was good for most of the time, but he destroyed some shit, as usual!’ Claire spoke to the cat, not Stef. 

Sitting on her back porch in the bright autumn evening, hands around a strong mug of green tea, Stef gagged with each sip. She hated the stuff, but it was all Claire had.

‘So you hear from Richard at all?’ Stef didn’t want to the conversation to get on to Jared. They hadn’t spoken in three days and she missed him desperately. 

‘Yes! Oh my god, we went out last week, that guy is sooooo funny!’ Claire exclaimed. 

‘So, have you fucked him yet?’ Stef asked, remembering Claire asked her the same question about Jared.

‘I did, actually.’

‘And?’

Claire was beaming, ‘that guy is amazing in the sack. He’s amazing anyway.’

‘Woah, Claire. This is starting to sound like love.’

Claire rolled her eyes, ‘maybe. Oh my god. Listen to me.’

‘You’re gushing about a man!’ Stef couldn’t disguise how happy she was for Claire. 

‘I’m seeing him next week too, he’s working on Supernatural so I get to see him and go on set.’

Stef’s heart sank a little, thinking of Claire on set meeting everyone again. Meeting Jared.

Claire nudged her, ‘You’re coming too, you know! I’m not walking on set by myself.’

‘Am I going? Jared hasn’t asked me.’

‘Shush, Richard said he would arrange it with Jared so we can go for dinner. All of us. All the cast, so it won’t look too suspicious for you guys.’

‘That’s nice of him. So he knows about me and Jared?’

‘Yes. And he’s totally cool with it. He said it’s also cool if you want to join us for a threesome.’

‘Oh tell him yes, right now. Tell him I’m ready and waiting.’ 

Claire clapped gleefully, ‘Oh he will be so happy. He’s always wanted to have a brunette and a redhead at the same time.’

‘You know, if I weren’t seeing Jared, I might even consider it.’ Stef imagined herself rolling around in the sheets with Richard, she bet that guy could fuck. 

‘You’re not exclusive are you? It’s more of an open thing, right?’

Stef considered it for a moment, ‘I guess it is. But, I don’t think Jared would be too happy with the thoughts of me and Richard. And you!’

Claire shrugged, ‘As if he’s not sleeping with is wife too.’

‘Please stop, I don’t want to think about it!’ Stef put her head into her hands.

‘Sorry, but he does. That man has a good thing going. Two women on the go.’

‘Am I foolish, Claire? Tell me truthfully.’

Claire reached over and placed her hand in Stef’s. ‘We have been friends for so long, I would tell you if I thought you were being an idiot, in an instant you know I would.’ 

Stef nodded, agreeing.

‘To anyone on the outside looking in, yeah you could be a little foolish. But this is what you want and it’s what he wants. It suits you both. You’re enjoying it now.’

Claire kissed Stef’s hand. ‘So stop thinking too much on it. Just enjoy the love and attention of a good man with a good heart.’

‘You’re right.’

‘Of course I’m right.’

They fell into silence, thinking of the men currently occupying their mental space. 

‘He has a huge dick doesn’t he?’ Claire mused.

‘Totally. And Rich?’

Claire sighed happily, ‘it’s as big as his personality. God, that man is made for me.’

‘Oh I told Jared I would send him a selfie.’ Stef pulled her phone from her pocket.

‘No, let me take it. Pose sexy,’ Claire grabbed the phone and typed in the pin code. 

Stef leaned back against the rail on the porch, her hand in her hair. licking her lips. her gaze cast down.

‘Pull your tits out a bit, perfect.’ Claire showed Stef the photo before whipping it away and texting it to Jared.

‘Bitch, I can send my own messages!’

‘Yeah but you’ll put something boring. Let me.’

Stef laughed, covering her face with embarrassment seeing the picture that was sent to Jared with the tag line. ‘This pussy is so wet thinking of you.’

Brendan was in the lower half of the picture drinking water from a flower pot. 

CHAPTER 15

[grizztomysam]

Grizzam College Song Fic AU Preview : Mumford & Sons - If I Say

Angst galore and homophobic slurs present...so just forwarned....

===================

Grizz and Sam finally establish a friendship after being partnered in English class during the start of Grizz’s senior year. Although it skirts the borders of what is deemed platonic. Shared glances after inside jokes are exchanged linger a little too long, accidental and not so accidental touches result in hitched breaths and Grizz preens a little to much whenever Sam looks at his lips when he’s speaking.

Months pass, the duo get considerably closer and Grizz scraps his initial plan to come out in college. 

He’s fallen in love, it’s no longer a crush. 

He’ll tell Sam his true feelings after their last game for the season and ask Sam to prom.

The night before this was to happen, Grizz is over at Sam’s studying for midterms. Sam says a particularity witty quip to something Grizz can’t even remember but he’s laughing and crying and Sam has somehow straddled him tickling his sides making him laugh harder. And he can’t hold back any longer, flips them both and kisses Sam likes he’s always wanted to. Since the first time he’d glimpsed the blued eyed boy when he was 12. 

There too caught up in the moment to see the figure watching and recording from the slit in Sam’s slightly opened bedroom door.

Before Grizz leaves he makes sure Sam will be coming to the game. 

“Of course, it’s your last” Sam’s lips are especially red and so inviting. Grizz wants so bad to kiss him again.

“I have something to tell you.”

“So secretive” Sam signs with a soft smirk, eyes shining.

Grizz just smiles back, kisses him gently on the cheek and leaves.

But life’s a bitch. Somehow adverse to letting people be....happy.

Campbell comes into his room a while later, he’s still on cloud nine and can’t seem to fall asleep. But the look on his brother’s face...his eyes have a calculated quiet to them, stark and garish juxtaposition to the smile on his lips, has Sam sitting, nerves electric and hackles up.

“Stay away from Visser, Fag.” He says this without preamble. Says it as if he’s telling his little brother goodnight and not to let the bed bugs bite.

“Why?” He’s learned to speak in controlled tones, volume steady and low. That’s how you speak to a rabid dog, muscle tensed and ready to pounce.

“Because the boy’s got a bright future. Football scholarship and all. Wouldn’t want to be the reason that gets taken away.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh Sam, you sure are daft. Let me talk in laymen’s terms. You break this abomination of a relationship you have with Grizz. And I’ll make sure William behaves tomorrow night.”

“Who the fuck is William.” The creeping dread that’s got the hair on his nape standing dissolves his resolve.

“Tsk Tsk, language, Samuel.....You see William is a boy that happens to love the little pills I give him every other week. Can’t get enough of them. He also happens to be on the opposing team playing against Visser tomorrow. A defensive linebacker...big massive boy. One word from me. I don’t know...something about not having anymore of his favorite pills unless he does something to Grizz Visser during game night. Nothing big. A broken arm...leg.”

“I hate you!” He doesn't so much scream it but breath it from every hurting vein in his body. 

Because he hates Campbell. With the very fiber of his being he wants to take something sharp and stab it into the jugular of his brother’s neck. Watch him bleed out until there is nothing left but a sunken shell.

“I know...Do what’s right.” He leaves, an almost pitying look on his face, as if this was something out of his control.

“Why...”

He turns back to look...blinks with empty eyes and smiles. “Because I can, little brother.”

Sam doesn’t sleep that night. Gets sick twice at 4 in the morning. Cries silent  wracking sobs as he grips the rim of the toilet bowl. 

He manages to avoid Grizz during the day. Ignores the texts that pile up. Skips the one class they have together after feigning a stomach ache. Even tho it really wasn't’ pretend.

He arrives home and finally texts back “Sorry ate something weird after you left last...night spent most of the day at the nurses office..I’ll see you at the game tonight”

The answer text is immediate “Awe..I could have kept you company...I can’t wait to see you.”

It leaves a tightness in his throat, so he closes his eyes and tries to disappear into the nothingness for a while. Tries not to feel.

He sends a text asking Grizz to meet him under the bleachers before the game, arrives an hour before to make sure there’s plenty of time for Grizz to sneak away and see him. 

He can almost feel the eagerness from Grizz’s text. Pictures his face, all bright eyed, nose scrunched in that adorable Grizz way, eyes crinkled at the corners with a grin.

Sure no problem. I missed you all day.

He wants to run away, far where no one can hear him and he can scream until his lungs burn out and his eyes no longer know how to cry. 

Grizz is waiting for him, decked out in his football uniform, hair in that topknot that drives him crazy. He’s all anxious energy and beauty. Sam has to look down pretending to pick at lint from his sweatshirt. Blinks hard and steels himself.

“Hey, you ok?” Grizz has ambled forward from his lean against the wall, eyes concerned, arms offered to hold.

Grizz is going to see right through this whole thing.

He walks pass him and leans against the opposite wall. The worry on Grizz’s face cuts at his heart with a blunt knife.

“You sad?...Last game and all.” He’s stalling but his mind is blank.

Grizz doesn’t push and walks towards him. So close that if he looks up from his gaze that’s now level with Grizz’s chest, all he’d have to do for a kiss was rise up slight on his toes because Grizz has leaned down tilting his chin up.

“I was going to wait until after, but I really want to kiss you right now and I need to say this first.” And Sam is crying because life is fucking unfair.

‘I love--”

“Stop....you don’t” he signs and sobs,  pushing the older boy away. 

Grizz stands steady, grabbing his face, confusion laced with an unease that has Grizz frantically searching his eyes.

“Sam--what is this?...Last night--” 

“Exactly...last night. Was a mistake.” He won’t look Grizz in the eye, instead focusing on his lips

“No!! It wasn’t!”

“Yes...this thing can’t happen. You don’t want me like that..feel for me like that. You think you do but you’ll wake up tomorrow..or few days later and realize all this won’t be worth it.”

Grizz roughly shakes his head at the words, forcing Sam to look him in the eye, hands firm but gentle as they wipe his tears away.

“No” It’s a sharp exhaled declaration,” I’m been feeling this for a while now. And I know you feel the same way--”

“Don’t you dare! You’re telling me how I feel now? What? Because your Grizz Visser?? Star football player..who fucking quotes shit like your from the dead poet’s society. Got girls practically salivating to get you to look at them. And me..the fucking gay deaf kid. Poor little Sam Eliot. You must think I’m so desperate. Pathetic enough to jump at the chance to have a piece of you..huh??  I’m probably some pet project...check off your box for humanitarian electives.”

Grizz stays quiet, frozen shock but visibly flinches at the words that are hurled in a slurred deluge from Sam’s mouth.

“News flash, Grizz, this might be a shocker, rejection is probably a foreign concept but I. Don’t. Want. You!!” he spits it out, tries to sign with trembling fingers that wish to rip Campbell from limb to limb.

He wants to wash his mouth out with bleach.

“This isn’t you..I don’t believe a word that’s coming out of your mouth.” It’s a whispered sentiment as Grizz drops his hands from his cheek, into balled fists by his side and the sudden emptiness in Grizz’s wet gaze is starting to scare Sam.

But he loves Grizz. 

Fuck.

He really really does. And he’ll hurt Grizz first before Campbell can touch him.

And Campbell hurting Grizz scares him more.

“Stay the fuck away from me.”

He leaves without looking back. 

----------------------------------

If I say I love you, then I love you

====================================================

This song hurts my insides so good...and le ideas came about. Please listen to this song if you want your heart ripped out and tap danced on. 

Just a taste people..got legit concrete ideas of how i want to finish this...So let me know if ya want more. 

[coffethoughts]

Ghosts

My name is Garrison Dowe, I am 5'11", dusty brown hair, greyish blue eyes and a crooked smile. This isn't my story. This takes place years and years before my fathers father was even an idea between him and my grandmother.

This is about Calvin.

Calvin was 49 with thick horn rimmed glasses with the brownest eyes sitting behind them. He was wearing a brown plaid button up shirt with a navy blue bow tie, his golden brown hair parted to the side and loafers.  I think it's because that's what he died in, but I also think it was his favorite outfit. Although if you've worn it for how long he has, it might become yours too.    We are going back to September 3rd, 2869. Where young Calvin was about to enter the world. Little did he know there was more than one world to enjoy. 

***********************************************************************************

It wasn't your normal July afternoon

It was cold, the cold you can feel in your bones. The kind of cold that you can't cover with blankets or sweaters.

 The kind of cold that follows death. 

It was the day Calvin died.

But lets start from the beginning. Calvin had a pretty normal childhood. for example; food in his belly, clothes on his back, both parents and a modest home. He himself was the oddball out though. He never stopped dreaming, awake or asleep. He never came back down to earth once he zoned out, and he NEVER let anyone touch his brown notebook.  

Growing up and going into his first year of high school Calvin had average grades. Not because he was dumb, he was actually very intelligent but his attention level was awful. He was constantly zoned out.

Now Calvin had friends, he was the good popular. The one that everyone knew and liked, not the kind of popular that only associated with other popular kids. He always got invited to the parties and events and outings, even though his best friend was a notebook. He usually made a point to go out to these events,

Calvin was seventeen and in his last year at Mulove High school, He wasn't the most popular student, but he was loved by all because he made an effort to include everyone, he was also very funny. Sorry, he IS still very funny. (fact check, he was basically in every photo in the very full signed yearbook he showed me.) On the first day of his last year in high school, Calvin flew into the parking lot on his new Hover Bike he got for his birthday a few days earlier (new driver) and parked. When he got off his bike, he had a weird pain in his stomach, but it passed after a minute and he never gave it a second thought.

He walked in the school, book bag on both shoulders, a brown notebook and pen pinched between his ribs and arm while his left hand was in his pocket with his cellphone in his other scrolling through a list of songs that he could jam to as he headed to his first class. Calvin's mind was full of adventure, stories, funny quips, ideas and thoughts you couldn't possibly imagine. (I've seen the brown notebook) He never showed anyone, not because he was embarrassed, or he didn't think he was good enough. One of the reasons is because they were his, the things he wrote in the notebook were scary, incredible, frightening, funny, loving, envious, sad, heartbreaking, hilarious and feelings you never felt before. He had little quotes in his note book from eaves dropping on conversations, he has doodles when he was bored and procrastinating, he has diagrams of inventions for extravagant things, things you and me could never even fathom.

He found himself walking while listening to the music. He paused in front of his locker. Not sure how he ended up there as he was not thinking of his route at all. But after four years, of the same path in the same school, with the same people and same hallways, his body just new where to go and when. Calvin likes to zone out, move on to different worlds for a while, until it gets dark there and he returns to his "normal" state. (not much about Calvin is normal) He's ok with that.

(More to come later)

(later is now)

Calvin twists and turns his lock to enter his combination, he opened his locker and found a little note folded that looked like it had been pushed through the slots in the locker door. He was just about to open the note when the first bell rang for class, and he thought "shit, I'm late again". He shoved the note in his pocket, shut his locker, ran to class and forgot about the note as his mind is always in other places.

In his first period class Calvin caught himself day dreaming of the new worlds that were all over the internet and news with headlines like "WE ARE SO CLOSE!" "WE WILL BE ON MARS SOON" and so on. With nothing to go on, no pictures or videos, just speculation at this point, your imagination. Calvin wrote all his thoughts in his brown notebook, he drew sketches and jotted down ideas, all about new types of life with gorgeous, wild, undiscovered flowers, insects, animals and even "humans". Because whose to say someone on mars or another galaxy isn't a human of their planet. Calvin dreamed that he would eventually get to these planets. Later on he would learn his imagination did not disappoint.

His entire life born on this planet was based on him off it.

"CALVIN? CALVIN?!? CALVVVIIINNN?!?!?"

"Oh, uh yes, Mrs. Bonnaveve?"

"Were you just day dreaming again? We have talked about this a million times, you need to learn the String Theory, it's essential"

“I was not daydreaming Mrs. Bonnaveve, I am doing research for when we can start travelling to other places"

"We can travel now Calvin?"

"Not to Zone 37 or Area 913, I'm talking about Mars, the forgotten planet Pluto, or the Catcus Galaxy that everyone thinks might be a hoax, but I know in my gut it's real"

When he was done talking, there was a very long silent pause. Followed by everyone including the teacher, the other classrooms that could hear him through the vent and their Mothers Mothers started howling so hard that one kid fell over and broke his arm. When that was over he turned up the volume on his phone, tuned into his favorite song and continued to day dream, the teacher left him alone at that point. This didn't affect his "popularity" like it would when you were growing up. Kids never forget. No not in the year 2886.These days were different. Winter formal came and gone along with parties, movies, dates homework, exams and winter break. Calvin always showed face even though his actual face was buried in his brown notebook and his mind was on another planet. This first semester we’re nt by quickly for Calvin as he was use to day dreaming since his first day in kindergarten and didn't plan to change this year. He was happy winter break was over and he could get back to class, not that he loved school, but he loved being around people to eves drop, learn how people think, act, are for new inspiration to jot down in.

The following semester wasn't so easy. Nothing had changed at home, with his friends or at school. It's been the same day after day for Calvin. Waking up from dreams about adventure to day dreaming at school about all the things his mind thought up, and going to bed with the same dreams. None of that chanted either. The one thing that did was the headlines. Instead of reading “WE’RE ALMOST THERE” they read “WE DID IT” “SPACE TRAVEL IS HERE!!”. Calvin couldn’t contain his excitement. He has been saving every birthday dollar, every lawn mowing fee, every quarter, dime, nickle and penny to travel to space once they figured out how to, and now they have!

It was so hard for Calvin to stay in his seat, to show up to class, to focus on tests and assignments, he barley made it out of high school with a diploma. Which made it hard for him to apply for college, as he just wanted to take a year off and travel. His parents weren't on board and haven't been since it started effecting his grades more and more. They said that if he wanted to stay here for the year he would have to work with his father or head off to college. Working in city hall just didn't seem to call his name especially since his father hasn't taken a vacation in several years.  which would hurt his travelling chances.

Calvin weighed his options to stay here and save even more but push back college a year and then that would mean pushing back traveling, or he could go into college for something that would let him travel and get paid? The laptop was pulled out of his back pack once he got home and began to research schools, and programs that would let him travel while getting paid after college, or even during college as a coop assignment.

[mihanada]

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

(back to masterpost)

The name of this arc is “Poisons”. I don’t like the sound of that...Seems like we’re continuing with the flashbacks. I wonder how far we’ll go into the events up to and including the Sunshot Campaign...

There is a lot to talk about in this chapter!

Chapter 56: Poisons (Part 1)

Ooh, I see how it is. This story is going to troll us about that song’s name until it somehow gets played again in the present day storyline, isn’t it. It served its purpose, I suppose, since he slept through help arriving and carting him back to Yunmeng.

“When he woke up again[...]what he saw was neither the black ceiling of the underground cave nor Lan WangJi’s pale yet handsome face[...]”

I don’t like to make a mountain out of a molehill, but do I sense a tiiny crush here? Yet again, he finds Lan Wangji handsome despite spending 7+ days in a grimy underground cave after slaughtering a giant beast and swimming in its blood. He couldn’t have even used the water to clean himself.

“[...]a funny series of kissing heads[...]”

He probably (hopefully) drew this on his bed when he was younger, as kids tend to do. It suits him, somehow.

Jiang Yanli finally gets a spoken line! She deserves more lines though, how many times has she been mentioned and she never gets to talk at length.

Wei Wuxian’s banter with Jiang Cheng is rapid-fire, jumping back and forth naturally and giving the impression they’ve been through conversations in this style many times before. I like it, it shows how close they were (sob enjoy it while you can before everything goes to hell).

“Wei WuXian realized that he really did forget to count the time needed to get there.”

lol poor Jiang Cheng getting accused for being too slow when he couldn’t possibly drag his ass home and back in that amount of time. xD

Alright, Wei Wuxian keeps talking about his bad memory and such, but at least this time it’s justified. Who wouldn’t be delirious enough to not add correctly after what they went through in that cave?

“But why didn’t Lan Zhan remind me?”

This is funny for some reason. Wei Wuxian is so used to him being the level-headed proper guy so he also expected him to correct him. xD

hahaha my mother recently made something like this lotus root and rib soup. even though it’s summer here. o-o Lotus roots are a strange food (how do you even describe their texture? crunchy, fiber-y, but they’re also soft if you cook them long enough) but they’re very good.

“Where’s Lan Zhan? He’s also been saved, hasn’t he? Is he here? Or did he go back to his sect in Gusu?”

“He went back alone? Over in Gusu, his sect…”

Accordingly with his personality, especially when he was younger, Wei Wuxian asks so many questions one after another.

“Wei WuXian didn’t take the handkerchief. Instead, he pouted his mouth with exaggeration, “Yes!” ”

It’s interesting how he acts even more like a kid than usual around Jiang Yanli. It makes sense, considering where he came from and how he doesn’t remember much about his parents aside from a few words they said to him. Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Yanli were probably the first ones to be kind to him in a long while, and instead of scolding him for acting childish they indulge him. So, naturally he’ll just continue this behavior (even at 17 lol but that’s where his shamelessness comes into play).

“Glancing at the porcelain jar, he seemed as if he wanted to taste it as well, but the bowl had already been taken away by Jiang YanLi.”

loool everyone wants to taste this soup but only Wei Wuxian gets to.

ha, the Wen Sect steals the credit for killing the Xuanwu while Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian try to give each other the credit for killing it. aw, I like what that says about them as people. We explicitly learn that Wei Wuxian doesn’t consider his contribution to be that much. Meanwhile, Lan Wangji’s motive was for giving Wei Wuxian the credit...probably was that without him luring its head out, it wouldn’t have been possible to kill it.

However, without the Lan Sect’s assassination skill, anyone would have been hard-pressed to kill that thing with no proper weapons and it still took 6 hours.

“So it seems that both of you killed it together. What’s yours is yours. Why would you give him all the credit?”

This is also interesting, in line with the above. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are like night and day, it’s easy to spot their differences and how they fill in what the other lacks, but it’s rarer to see their similarities and this is one of them.

“You shouldn’t have played the hero and you shouldn’t have cared for such a hell of a thing.”

I think this is the line Jiang Fengmian feels wasn’t appropriate and not in line with the Jiang sect’s motto “To attempt at the impossible”.

“Since when was it your turn to play the hero?”

Before I launch into the whole complicated family situation, I’ll address these lines first.

This is a very interesting part of Wei Wuxian’s character. It’s not that he tries to be the hero or wants that glory, but he isn’t someone who can stand by and let things be other people’s problems (another similarity to Lan Wangji/the Lan Sect, actually). He does these things because he feels they are right (aka saving Mianmian, helping to hold off the Xuanwu so others can escape) and because no one else is willing to.

“[...]he thought to himself, He couldn’t have dared to do anything to them? That’s not for certain.”

His concern for others shows through here, but also some of his ignorance as a youth. 1) he’s more concerned about others than himself; he thinks that it is a real possibility the Wen Sect could have retaliated against the Lan or Jin Sects, never mind his own self; 2) he doesn’t seem to realize that his actions do have consequences for his sect and this is a very real concern of Madam Yu’s.

Perhaps it’s because he is in an odd position himself. He’s the top disciple of the sect, but also part of the inner circle of the Jiang clan, yet at the same time he is an outsider amongst them. When they bring up how Mianmian might be the daughter of a servant, Wei Wuxian even compares her to his own background as the son of a servant. Also, his “I don’t want others assigning me to other households!” was a sentiment probably born of a bit of pride and a bit of this toxic environment. even though he was adopted by the Jiang clan, he didn’t feel exactly part of them...

His self-identity when he was young is an interesting thing to think about...

“Do you still remember, between the one lying there and the one standing here, which one is your son?”

yikes

This is one woman you don’t want to cross.

“Do you think that anything will change just because you raised your voice?!”

kids, remember – talking louder doesn’t mean you’re more right.

On a serious note, this whole argument, which apparently has been hashed out many times before, gives a good look into the Jiang clan’s dynamics. It’s a tough situation (and a toxic environment). At least now we know where Jiang Cheng’s parenting skills come from (his own father was harder on him than Wei Wuxian, in turn Jiang Cheng also gives Jin Ling a hard time)

Speaking of his father being harder on him, it’s probably as Wei Wuxian observed and tries to assure him (and not Madam Yu’s skewed perspective): his father loves him, but he also is hard on him because he has to raise him as the next sect leader while Wei Wuxian has none of that, plus he’s not his own child but a good friend’s and of course he’ll be more lenient.

Which is actually a good point...Madam Yu works from the idea that Jiang Fengmian sees Wei Wuxian as his own child and favors him over Jiang Cheng and that’s why he’s lenient. But, Wei Wuxian sees it as him being lenient because Wei Wuxian isn’t his own child.

it is sort of an awkward situation isn’t it. Looking from the other side, it’s also easy to see how Jiang Cheng developed those feelings of frustration and believing his own father didn’t love him. From Jiang Cheng’s perspective, he doesn’t see Wei Wuxian as a servant or anything, so to him this preferential treatment means his father favors Wei Wuxian over him.

I like Wei Wuxian’s attempts to cheer Jiang Cheng up and talk him through it though. He’s actually trying to be helpful and his arguments are good.

“So what if there’s the motto?! Do you have to follow it just because it’s a motto? Look at the rules of the GusuLan Sect—there are over three thousand. If people followed every single one of them, would they even be alive at this point?”

lol. just. lol. “would they even be alive at this point?”

I love how he just throws the Gusu Lan Sect out as an example on all points though. xD

“In the future, you’ll be the sect leader, and I’ll be your subordinate, like your father and my father.”

Ah, there it is. Yeah, the discrepancy is here. versus...

“Jiang Cheng, “How can you compare to her? Whose servant is like you, having your master peel lotus seeds for you and boil you soup. I didn’t even get to have some!”

hahaha everyone wants that soup. see, you do have some things in common with your father.

 “I had a perfume sachet somewhere around my waist.”

Ok who can keep up with your thought process? he literally jumps from topic to topic with no transition lol

“Right, we were talking about Lan Zhan.”

like, 10 minutes ago...

ahhh but Lan Wangji’s dad has passed away...eep. Guess that means he didn’t make it home in time...

Wonder what the “Poisons” part is going to mean for the events in this arc though...

(quotes from ExR’s translations)

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