#ok I’m high so this might be contributing and

[macden]

it pisses me off that rcg couldn’t be bothered to tell us that the podcast is done like that feels sooo disrespectful to your fans. the people you made watch betterhelp ads because they love seeing you interact with each other. getting on my bad side again fr

[mother-harrington]

.

[disneyprincemuke]

sex * gr63

it was supposed to be just sex.

pairings: george russell x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of sex

notes: fun fact, this was supposed to be about max but hehe… fun fact number 2 is that this is the second draft and the first is messier than this, but i liked this better! based on sex by eden <3 and i aM TRYING TO CREDIT THIS GIF BUT I’M ON MY PHONE AND THEY WONT LET ME SO I’LL DO IT WHEN I FIND MY LAPTOP OK PLS IM BEGGING YOU

(sex) // (be mine)

you watch george’s eyes shut and feel his grip around your hips tighten, soft mews passing his lips while he comes down from his high. your hips come to a slow stop while his eyes slowly open, flashing you a smile.

you return the gesture before you slowly untangle yourself from his grip. you drop yourself on the empty spot on the bed. your hand pats around the area next to you, lifting your head up slightly to find the blanket kicked down to the floor amidst your passionate and selfish exchange.

george’s thumb swipes across your forehead, swiping away the sweat that’s formed.

there’s a feeling in your stomach for the past few weeks that has been eating you up. it’s indescribable, which is why you simply try not to think of it. but right now, with george next to you, it’s hard to ignore.

“what’s up, what are you thinking about?” george shifts to prop himself up on his elbow to look down at you. his smile grows as he moves the hair out of your face, brushing your hair in the process. “you’ve been staring at that ceiling for so long, i swear it’s come alive.”

you sigh. you blink then turn your head to the other side of the room, desperate to not get caught in his blue eyes. “george, i think you think too much of me.”

george feels his heart stop in his chest. in the short few months since alex has introduced you to him, you were never one to get in touch with your emotions. to say something with so much depth is worrying to him.

it’s more to contribute to the fact that your arrangement is strictly sex, with the side quest of pretending to be friendly when alex is around. other than that, there is no relationship to base all of this off.

when you’re not together, you don’t text. neither of you know what goes on in each other’s lives in the event of separation.

which is why he can’t figure out why your tone is scaring him so much. because he knows where you are going with this.

but george has to fight himself against what his chest is urging him to do. he swallows the forming lump in his throat and tilts his head at you. “what do you mean?”

there must have been something he has done that made it seem like there’s something more. he’s been so careful with the way he is in bed with you, and the amount of affection he gives you.

if you asked him, you’ve already taken his heart. and he’s almost a hundred percent sure that he doesn’t want anyone but you.

you clear your throat softly. you turn to finally meet his eyes. “you know, whatever this is, means nothing.” you speak slowly, ensuring that your words are clearly understood. “we’re just having sex.”

and there it is.

you can barely consider yourself friends. which is why your label isn’t even ‘friends with benefits’ — there is no label at all. you don’t even have each other’s numbers; all the initiations just stemming from instagram dms and your shared time at the club after alex taps out from the alcohol.

george feels his heart skip a beat, his stomach churning with uneasiness. he was just about to tell you that he’ll take you out on a proper date; actually make an effort to get to know you better.

in this moment, he is suddenly reminded of the situation. it’s just sex you’re having. there were no strings attached in the first place, and he isn’t supposed to have feelings for you.

the nights you spent tangled in his hotel room sheets should not have replayed in his mind as much as it did. he shouldn’t have noticed how you started letting yourself spend the night securely in his arms and thought to himself this might be going somewhere good.

on the other end of the spectrum, your chest ached. alex’s stern words echoes in your mind as you were slapped with the harsh reality of your inability to be in a healthy and loving relationship.

“fix yourself first, please. don’t break george’s heart,” alex had said to you when you came clean to him about your arrangement and the feelings that caused you to stir about at night before sleeping.

you can hardly consider it love. you barely know anything about george. of course, you would talk whenever you are tangled up in sheets with him, but you’d kept them minimal to protect you both from the very perdicament you’ve found yourself in.

you notice the way his expression changes ever so slightly. hurt flashes in his eyes as he withdraws his hand from you, your fingers flinching as you fight the impulse to chase for his touch. his eyebrows furrow as he inches back. “of course. it’s just sex.”

george almost tells you that he’s always been this heartless. in fact, he is convinced that this is his karma for break all those girls’ hearts back in the day.

he watches you take a deep breath and return your gaze to the ceiling of his hotel room. “this should be the last night. we should stop.”

he drops himself on the bed. he mimics your position, hands laying on his stomach as he traces the design of the light structure with his eyes.

he contemplates, the risk and rewards of just letting loose and telling you how he feels. can he really live with the fact that he just lets you go here without a fight?

instead, he turns to you with a playful smirk on his face. “you said this is the last night.”

you playfully roll your eyes, turning your head to meet him. “that is what i said.”

“not the last time, so come here.”

[herejusttosufferalong]

Ok, so I gotta put my 2 cents in after shipping N & L all on my lonesome for far too long. But ever since finding this blog & reading through to earlier posts, I’m starting to think whether I should entertain a different possibility about the situation. If we take N’s comments about L to be genuine - that he is uncomplicated in the best way, I wonder if that also means he’s just not on her wavelength. Like I think there is already consensus here that L’s fiends are duds & maybe L himself is too straightforward, his ambitions and interests too plain to really make N feel invested in pursuing something. We know that N is very politically aware, super smart/high achiever, a grafter and always wanting to do something new - she once said that she wants every role she does to be different from the last. Also, as a woo woo astrology girlie, I know that N is a sag Venus just like me & we get bored of romantic partners who don’t expand our horizon. It’s a shame because it’s obvious they have a lot of affection for each other, but maybe N just feels like it wouldn’t work out long term so doesn’t want to jeopardize the friendship & curdle all the beautiful memories? I even wonder whether this has somewhat contributed to L’s edgy new persona since HBS 2023. Though I’m not sure how dating a basic b like A makes him more interesting. Maybe he’s going scorched earth & just wants to lean into ‘meaningless fun’. It’s a real shame - I think if L continues to avoid what he really needs to do for personal growth & maturity, he is going to get stuck in this vapid life in the company of shallow people who don’t push him towards greater aspirations or deeper connections. Not saying that he has to hustle and be an A-lister, but he should at least do meaningful work that he finds fulfilling & I wonder if the people he surrounds himself with just don’t provide that encouragement or motivation. It seems like he’s paralyzed by too many seemingly difficult choices so he’s just free falling, letting life happen to him. This is based purely on vibes on my part of course, but I think his outward persona (not physically!) has definitely changed since he was with J. Like he thinks the goofy, silly guy that he was isn’t good enough - sheesh how Colin Bridgerton of him!

I should add that I’m of the camp that nothing has actually happened between N & L other than heavy/obvious flirting - like even more than what we’ve seen in public. That’s all the sexual tension imo that has nowhere to go as they haven’t acted on it.

At what point do I give up on the ship and accept that L might never step up & N isn’t the type of woman to settle for anything less than what she wants or wait around?

Sorry for the real downer vibes, but I’m obviously looking for a more optimistic perspective to talk me off the ledge 😆

.

[ymiko0]

hi!! i wanted to request a fem reader x childe where the reader is really physically weak 💀 like this may or may not be based off of experience but my knees literally popped while riding someone 😭 if you’re comfortable, could you write something following that? id say more fluff but still nsfw, like reader feels really bad but childe is just reassuring like no it’s ok and just proceeds to fuck you missionary— also i’m not entirely sure what the difference between drabbles and oneshots are so it’s up to you :)

Tw: physically weak fem!reader, praise, missionary, p in v, softdom!childe, p w/o p , praise( sorry I dont have any ideas😭 )

Childe kisses your neck softly as he slowly thrusts in you. His orange hair being beautifully lit by the moonlight through the window as he holds you delicately, making his pretty little thing feel good was everything that he wanted.

" 'yer doin' so good baby— yeah just, like that. " he spoke softly, his voice giving you a sense of comfort.

The young harbinger loves taking care of you, but you doubted yourself and your abilities in his bed. Though you lying down on hia mattress and taking his love would be more than enough for him, you're really not contributing much in bed because of your weak body.

So you tear his arms away from you, attempting to flip him over, attempting to take control, try leading, make him finally feel how you feel—

— but you cant.

Your arms are too weak and threatens your body that it might break if you force yourself to carry his toned torso even further.

Childe realizes what you're doing and holds your wrists beside your head, his face dipping against yours as he places another peck on your cheek.

" ah-ah that ain't workin' on me doll. " he said while looking straight into your eyes.

" you're here to get the loving that you deserve, and I'm giving you that. " he spoke with a reassuring tone.

He kisses you in the lips, prolonging the contact, while he slowly began thrusting in again, his words glazed with honey making you shudder in delight, your walls clenching uncontrollably around his shaft.

" you— stay there and be pretty like the princess you are baby, and let this prince charming— " he spoke in between thrusting in you. " — take care of you yeah? "

He spreads your legs further apart, gaining more access on your wet entrance, finally finding a comfortable pace for the both of you.

He pulls you into another passionate kiss, his thrusts remain unrelenting as his tounge explores your mouth, and dancing with yours.

He pulls away, a string of saliva connecting both of your red, swollen lips.

" as long as you stay with me forever I'll gladly do everything for you Ангел, so just– let me do it for ya. "

He loves you so much hed be willing to do anything for ya, lucky girl.

Notes: THANK YOU FIRST REQUEST WOOO I'm sorry, it's a bit rushed.. I hope I didnt let ya down! I havent touched genshin in a while so I dont know if this is ooc😭 ( probably is ) and sorry for taking too long! I'm so slow and I'm high-key busy with college and stuff so...but anyway pls enjoy! ( PLEASE ) also please take care of yourself<3

[igglemouse]

I start the morning off starving because, well, have you seen my belly? The little one growing inside sure does have an appetite! Well, it could be my appetite but I'll blame the baby for now because I'm suddenly craving something sweet. That's fine by me, I am part of the international pancake aficionados and pancakes certainly count as sweat, especially with double the butter and syrup!

The aroma of my syrupy soaked pancakes fills the dining room and the gentle sounds of eating as breakfast is a little bit quiet this morning. Perhaps Pascal has a lot on his mind or maybe I've soaked the pancakes in too much syrup? He seems to not be as interested in it. Something is up.

"Everything ok?" I finally ask as the silence was becoming too much for me.

He stares down at his plate some some, shuffles his fork around some. "The team," he starts, which confuses me because didn't he just win a game? "Logan broke his ankle," he says this as if it means something to me. "The center back?"

"O-oh, yes, r-right, Logan..." I'm still confused but I'm guessing he's some important player on the team?

"He's the defensive anchor of our team and I doubt we make it to the next round now, especially being up against Del Sol. We were already the underdogs and-"

"Are the games played on paper ooooor-"

His laugh cuts me off. "You grow on me more day by day, you know that?"

I shrug, happy to give him words of advice. I guess I'll need to follow his games more to predict these sports related mood swings.

Honestly, I can understand. Yeah, from an outsiders perspective it might look like its just a game, a bunch of grown men kicking around a ball, but for Pascal? For him, it's his career, his passion, and his life. The highs and lows aren't just numbers on a scoreboard, there are people contributing to every goal. A defense working to claim a possession, players sacrificing glory just to hand it to a teammate, a group of people all with one shared goal.

So yeah, I can understand how a bad result or losing a key player for the rest of the year could be sad and I'll definitely be more on the lookout to support him as much as I can.

For now though I'll just spend the day relaxing and sift through baby names. I think I want something that starts with an F...

Frida wasn't the only one taking it easy today. Elsewhere, two people sharing familiar with her were having more of a connection and relaxing, together. Sara and Simón had found each other by chance, as often happens, and since that fortunate meeting they had hit it off incredibly well.

Living next door to each other certainly helped and that short distance allowed Sara to wander over to Simón's place and enjoy the comfort of his companionship and the playful company of his dog or not dog. That was what pulled her to him int he first place, the love he showed some random stray canine was a love she was envious for.

Their time together was nothing too exciting as it usually consisted of lounging around and watching TV, although lately the old picture box had become more background noise than anything else.

"There really is nothing on TV these days," Simone sighed, his eyes drifting away from the screen and slightly more towards her.

"Maybe you are just picky," Sara teased and nudged him playfully in the ribs.

"Or maybe I am just spoiled," he replied, turning his look fully on her now. A look that Sara had quickly grown familiar with, one of raw desire and hunger. Of genuine need. She cherished that, he made her feel wanted in ways she had never felt before, the first man in her life to truly look at her like that. The look would turn into more action as he made his way over to her, cornering her on the couch.

"I never thought I'd have anything to give to spoil anyone," her voice was soft this time, leaving space for the compliment she knew was coming because he always threw one her way when she most needed it. This time though his response would surprise her.

"You always have silly thoughts, you know?" he murmurs, almost as if he's slightly annoyed but the smile on his face let her know it was fine. It was always fine with him. "There's no one I'd rather have than you... There is no one I'd rather have than you..."

Maybe that was a truth or maybe it wasn't. Simón wasn't sure himself. The truth was, there was someone else, someone before her, someone he would die for, someone he would kill for, someone that unbeknownst to him, and Sara, that they both knew pretty well. Frida had been special to him and she lingered in a way that was hard to move on from. You don't simply get over people you've loved but sometimes finding someone new can fill the empty hole, even if it can't completely fill it, it's better half-way filled rather than leaving an empty void....

Frida Varela Index ~ Episode 7 ‘Ambitious Hearts’

[winterandwords]

✍🏻 WRITEBLR INTRO

👋🏻 Hi, I’m Winter. I write dark, emotionally intense, queer fiction with characters to go feral over, inspired by city streets and stormy seas, scars and synchronicity, synesthesia and l’appel du vide.

💬 I'm writing-related ask and tag game friendly and I love reblogging your WIP snippets.

📚 You can read my stories online for free at 🔗winterandwords.com. It's the only place they're available. More information about each book can be found further down this post.

📱 I'm winterandwords on 🔗Bluesky for writing stuff and 🔗TikTok for daily life stuff.

☕ If you enjoy my writing and would like to offer support, you can do that via 🔗Ko-fi. I share my stories for free with the option to donate if you can afford to, so your contributions are super appreciated!

🌈 It always makes happy to encounter queer characters whose identity and narrative aren’t limited to or by their queerness, so I’m writing the characters I want to see in the stories I want to read.

📝 I write for an adult audience, but my stories don’t include explicit sexual content because it’s not my vibe (not a genital in sight here, folks). That said, if you’re uncomfortable with fiction that's frequently dark, sometimes spicy, and often chemically enhanced, I might not be the ideal writer for you to follow. Not everything is for everyone and that’s OK.

🛑 I would prefer minors didn't follow me. I don't follow minors, at least not intentionally. Sometimes it's not obvious and I'm not the age-in-bio police. In the kindest possible way, if you're under eighteen, my writing is not for you and I'd rather engage with other adults only.

💜 My reblogs tend to be writing-related, with a few exceptions. My likes are (mostly) non-writing-related things I get a kick out of, or personal posts that I want to acknowledge but that don’t feel appropriate to reblog.

💌 If, for some reason, you need to contact me outside of the hellsite, you can do that at winterandwords[at]gmail[dot]com

🌊 NOVEMBER BREAKS (complete)

BASICS Genre: Transgressive, literary Audience: Adult Length: Approx 52k words Working title: Project Storm Tags: #november breaks and #project storm More: Story summary

💻 To read online for free, please visit winterandwords.com

VIBE Crime, weather symbolism and questionable life choices. Hurt me, I need to feel alive. Violence is a drug. Also, drugs are drugs. This is a love story like crude oil is a tea. #ThatShouldNotBeHot. Nothing’s real anyway.

INTRO No conscience, no problem. Noah kills for money. Brett hides a life of crime behind a successful career. Officially, they both protect people from people like themselves. Unofficially, everything is falling apart. Until they meet. And it all gets worse.

🗡️ BRIDGE FROM ASHES (complete)

BASICS Genre: Cyberpunk, neon-noir Audience: Adult Length: Approx 70k words Working title: Project Frequency Tags: #bridge from ashes and #project frequency More: Story summary

💻 To read online for free, please visit winterandwords.com

VIBE High-rise buildings and low-life scum. Everything hurts, but not enough to feel good. Yes, that’s a gun in my pocket and no, I’m not pleased to see you. If mind control is real, why do I still have to make decisions?

INTRO Too useful for prison and too dangerous for freedom, underworld assassin Rafael Turner is sentenced to serve in a secretive military agency. When a mission to infiltrate a criminal operation drags his past to the surface and someone he thought he’d lost forever unexpectedly returns, how much is Rafe willing to risk to settle old scores and have a chance at a future he’d given up hoping for?

💀 SPIN CYLINDER (currently posting twice-weekly chapters)

BASICS Genre: Transgressive, literary Audience: Adult Tags: #spin cylinder More: Story summary and tag list

💻 To read online for free, please visit winterandwords.com

Spin Cylinder is the sequel to November Breaks, which can be read here.

POSTING SCHEDULE Spin Cylinder chapters are posting on winterandwords.com twice-weekly on Sundays and Thursdays from 1st September - 19th December 2024.

VIBE Slice of life, but life is drugs and crime. They deserve each other (derogatory). Violence as a substitute for therapy. Very elegantly wasted. My favourite mistake, my weapon of choice, and the parts of ourselves that we can’t leave behind.

INTRO Bound by desire and destruction. Contract killer Noah and white-collar criminal Brett retire from successful but stressful careers to build a home together on a foundation of obsession, shared secrets, and murder. But when they start to feel restless and the downward spiral beckons them deeper, how far will they go to find their way back to themselves?

🔫 NAME FROM NOWHERE (WIP)

BASICS Genre: Cyberpunk, neon-noir Audience: Adult Working title: Project Aria Tags: #name from nowhere and #project aria More: WIP summary

Name From Nowhere is the sequel to Bridge From Ashes.

VIBE Found crime family. Memory is a curse, but it’s also a weapon. What doesn’t kill you makes you deadly. No identity, still a crisis. Life may be more than survival, but survival is a good place to start. Because fuck you, that’s why.

INTRO Imprisoned for a crime or five that she definitely committed, Aria made it through her sentence remembering more than she was supposed to but not enough to make sense. An illicit trade syndicate gives her a fresh start and the acceptance she won’t admit she craves, but her blood family’s betrayal is seared into her mind and revenge is only ever an opportunity away.

📇 TAG INDEX

#the shit in my head | rants, rambles and writer life

#november breaks and #project storm | WIP excerpts, updates etc for November Breaks (working title Project Storm), the prequel to Spin Cylinder

#spin cylinder | WIP excerpts, updates etc for Spin Cylinder, the sequel to November Breaks

#bridge from ashes and #project frequency | WIP excerpts, updates etc for Bridge From Ashes (working title Project Frequency), set in the same world as Name From Nowhere

#name from nowhere and #project aria | WIP excerpts, updates etc for Name From Nowhere (working title Project Aria), set in the same world as Bridge From Ashes

#my writing | snippets and other wordstuff

#your writing | other people’s words

#writeblr tags | tag games and memes

#answered asks | replies to your questions and messages

#writeblr connect | boosting writeblrs for the community

#reblogs | what it says on the tin

#reblogs plus | reblogs with my additions

#tumblr meta | hellsite stuff'n'things

#calmwrimo | info, updates and reblogs for CalmWriMo, a chilled-out November writing and self-care experience

📸 IMAGE CREDITS

Profile picture My own

Header and background Original photo by Yaroslav Shuraev on Pexels, edited under license

November Breaks My own

Bridge From Ashes Original photo by Drew Dizzy Graham on Unsplash, edited under license

Spin Cylinder Original photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash, edited under license

Name from Nowhere Original photo by Wilmer Martinez on Unsplash, edited under license

[nomsfaultau]

ok important question

which one of your technos could i probably fight

I’m assuming you want to come out the other side swinging, because truly you could fight most of them and die rather nastily. I’m also going to let the tone of the piece be an influencing factor. Let’s a go:

Fault: You are now a little red smear. The fight is over so fast The Blade doesn’t even register The Blood God took over. For the corollary ‘Where then do your loyalties lie?’ The Blade where he’s like ~14 years old: same but The Blood God has a voice crack while trying to deliver a threatening quip, feels rather embarrassed, and makes your death extra painful. Golden Apples, Gilded Atrophy: The Techno least likely to feel even a hint of remorse. This guy is craaazy he’s waiting for an excuse to murder you, ohh he wants to murder you soo bad- Lord, what fools these mortals be!: He is so ready to throw down, but he’s also like really friendly the whole time? He’s utterly vicious but is funny about it. You’re probably dying to some looney tunes esque nonsense UNLESS you can make your victory funny enough that the absurdist nature of the fic finds a contrived series of wacky events that contribute to your unlikely W. Mandatory Family Reunion: Probably has one of your better chances of fighting, since he’s human and has zero powers. Except the power of knives, which he will possess inordinate amounts of. Likely to lash out really harshly in pure ptsd mode, catch himself halfway through attacking you and have an entire monologue crisis about how he’s inherently violent and corrupted by his various parental figures, there’s no possible redemption if violence has been beaten into his instincts, etc etc angst angst angst. Perfect time to clock him right in the face. This is one Techno guaranteed not to kill you, though he shows serious ingenuity when fighting. However, the MFR universe is stacked against him so you’ll probably win simply for the fact that it would create more Techno angst. The Lambs Wolves Wear: Well Technoblade is debatably a dead corpse being possessed? And is maybe 14? So I feel like you could EASILY take on a skeletal child. However if we’re talking “Technoblade” you’re screwed. One scratch on their vessel and undead legions will be summoned to drag you to hell. Might hesitate since Philza will chastise them later, but will still rip you apart with ghosts. Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home: Well, he’s a god. So. Good luck buddy ? At the start of the fic he’ll just smite you no questions ask. By the end he might just ignore you while you fruitlessly punch his belly. I suppose if you timed it right before Lady Death killed him for the winter you could technically claim the win, but he’d just be sleeping through your attack before succumbing to the allegory of the seasons, so, wouldn’t feel very satisfying. The Altars We Sacrifice Our Futures On: See above on trying to fight god! But also literally an evil violence deity. So enjoy getting ripped apart by wolves or terrible blood magic. At least, until Techno learns that apparently you’re allowed to kill ABSOLUTELY NO ONE in front of a six year old or they cry. Loudly. There’s snot. At which point he will fume and snarl and seethe and not actually kill you. But he will be EXTREMELY grumpy about it. Absolutely zero chance of winning though he’ll just trap all the blood in your body in a loop that won’t let you die but also won’t let you move. Where do babies come from? You obliterate him. No questions ask. Bro he’s twelve not even a question. All his pent up street kid rage will mean he’s vicious, but like he’s ye high, you’re good. He will bite, but you’ll bite back. Now there is the angle that he literally will never stop trying to defeat you, refusing to give up long past the point a reasonable person would and getting really hurt in the process. But like that’s an unarmed child. Your victory is assured. Philza Minecraft WILL find your location and have a “talk” with you tho. And you are not winning that “conversation”.

[donnie-woomy]

Hmmm 🤔

I’m thinking about some dark plot lines for the Carbon theory AU

Like Madotsuki and Urotsuki being born on the moon or maybe even add Sabitsuki from dot flow to add even more of a darker plot…okay maybe not •-•;

But I’m definitely thinking about the other two being moon children. And also another plot line I thought about for this AU that is definitely angsty and sad is that when Madotsuki was born Volnutt was still in his younger teen years (ngl I forgot how old he is) and by the time Urotsuki was born he’s like in the mid or late years of being a teenager. So by the time these girls are like I would say preteens or at least 11 years old homeboy is going to be in his early 20s or at the very least 18-19 years old or something…

I’m terrible at math and all those years in high school meant nothing lmao 🥲 (help)

(And also keep in mind that Volnutt was not with anyone when the girls were born. He just has them out of the blue with no other contributing factor. Madotsuki and Urotsuki might possibly be test tube babies or something I’m still thinking about how they were born)

Final edit: oh my god…I just realized something. Ok anyone who’s Japanese or knows Japanese please correct me if I’m wrong, but I remembered that “tsuki” in Japanese means “moon” and both girls have “tsuki” in their names…Mado-tsuki and Uro-tsuki….once again correct me if I’m wrong please 🙏

[algolagniaa]

Having testosterone does not make you any less of a woman

ok you clearly want me to dissect your entire original ask in detail and have a big dramatic reaction so I’ll indulge you. for context for the audience, anon’s original ask said “high T and internalized misandry makes an interesting combo” or something to that effect. also for context I posted a couple days ago about how I hate being compared to men.

you very obviously saw an insecurity and seized your opportunity. props to you but your delivery is weak. if I were bothered enough someone on tumblr to send them hate, especially someone like me who puts everything out there, I wouldn’t just find one post about an insecurity and go with that. I’d read all their posts and find all their insecurities - including ones they don’t explicitly state, you have to learn to read between the lines with these things - and how they’re contributing to their own personal problems and generally everything wrong with them as a person, and then I’d send something that attacks that. it’s especially potent if you touch on an insecurity that isn’t immediately obvious, for example something where there’s no recent post that spells out “I am insecure about this specific thing”. I know I seem too confident and awesome to be insecure about many things but trust me I have them! you just have to look closer!

also, your first ask said “internalized misandry”, clearly trying to call me a man, but now you’re saying I’m not any less of a woman. you’ve given yourself away as not believing any of your own bullshit and just going for whatever you think will get under my skin. unfortunately for you I don’t give af what haters have to say because as you’ve just demonstrated they’ll just say whatever bullshit they think will hurt someone, because something about me threatens them and they think hurting me will stop them crying themselves to sleep at night because they hate their own selves so much. if you want to hurt me you have to genuinely believe what you’re saying - maybe draw on whatever it is about me that bothers you? that might be a good place to start!

giving this a C for effort. lmk if you want any more effective bullying tips!

[anotherblblog]

Utsukushii Kare Eternal/Japan trip thoughts part 1

I posted a recap because a friend on twitter wanted to know what happened and I wanted to share what I saw so other interfans and interested folks could have a play by play recap of the movie. It got some attention lol but honestly I don’t mind because I think that’s what fan communities are for. I’m happy to be able to share and contribute for other fans.  I saw Utsukare Eternal three times in theaters because earlier I was collecting these movie cards and there were pre-purchased tickets and I wanted to use them. From talking with other fans and reading other recaps, there are some context/conversations my recap didn’t cover but I don’t think I wholesale missed anything. 

I also appreciate the comments and questions and I’m happy to answer and explain what I saw. I wanna add some more thoughts about seeing the movie, some preamble:

some bl movies aren’t “movies,” they’re recaps/recollections/reduxes of the prior seasons and based on the trailer, I felt hopefully Utsukare Eternal wouldn’t do that

with season 2 being released so close, I then wondered if it would be like Gameboys season 2 and Gameboys the movie meaning they would both share a lot of the same material but have different POV structure

I knew 100% there wouldn’t be subtitles but I’ve been a fan of anime and bl and other medium that is not in English and I haven’t ever been daunted or turned away from that 

ok so then I find myself in Japan for the first time and a new twist on my bl journey, specifically for Utsukushii Kare, has been trying to track down and keep up with their updates and presales and releases. It was a lot of fun but also meant I couldn’t really forecast or keep my schedule. I chose to keep pivoting and adjusting things to try and acommodate Utsukushii Kare since the movie was the anchor event of my much longer and ongoing Asia trip so I felt fine pushing back on other things to chase limited merch. 

ok ok so now for some movie thoughts

the return of Hira as the sole pov, I did really miss Kiyoi’s pov and narration but he got plenty of scenes without Hira and it’s not like he was absent or diminished but Hira had the sole pov spotlight

I also like that this installment in the Utsukare story for me showed that Hirakiyo are pretty solid as a couple but still have room to grow and things to  discover about each other but now the plot/narrative required outside forces

Kiyoi is still my number 2 favorite bl character behind Gav from Gameboys. Hira might move a spot or two so I need to think about where I want to place him in my rankings. 

the movie didn’t seem like a series finale conclusion but I think it could be a satisfying conclusion if it was the last installment 

with the movie pulling back to Hira as the sole POV, we did not see a lot of the original supporting cast and even Hira’s own supporting cast, Koyama, wasn’t in the movie a lot. 

I know there is another novel set after the novel the movie/season2 was based on, so there’s still canon to go 

I’m gonna miss Hira’s house but HiraKiyo having their own apartment could be really amazing

Kiyoi discovering Hira’s Kiyoi shrine was hilarious and also set up for the other obsessive fan

the bathtub scene was amazing

the two high heat scenes were good and the domestic fondness scenes were cute too

anyone who says the kisses and sex scenes are unnecessary are the feds and/or lame af

I love that Kiyoi is still sometimes shy but now Hira meets and confronts it directly and doesn’t let Kiyoi run away and by movie’s end, Kiyoi still gets overwhelmed/flustered by his feelings for Hira but he doesn’t turn away from Hira, he reaches out to him

Hira still is jealous and insecure at times for reasons that are completely unfounded as Kiyoi is as loyal to him as he is to Kiyoi but Hira always being Hira is just comforting to me too

my favorite visuals - the Anna waterfall photoshoot and Kiyoi’s last photoshoot and the classroom confession

the trailer shot of Hira taking Kiyoi’s picture with the sunset behind them absolutely is a top top top fave

HiraKiyo having the NaruHina run through their prior costumes was really cute, that’s what I love about when a visual medium leans into being a visual medium

I really hope it’s not the end of Utsukare and hopefully this box office success pushes them to continue 

ok, I know I have some other questions and responses so I’ll answer those in a separate post

[dollsonmain]

Random babbling

That lot of dolls with Jetta is on track to arrive tomorrow. It’s in Hagerstown today which is one stop away from our delivery hub.

The other Goodwill buys haven’t shipped, yet.

There’s a mystery package OFD that’s coming from where MiL lives so either she’s sent something for That Guy or Son and forgot to tell me. She usually tells me when there’s a package for Son so I can let her know when it’s arrived, so might be for That Guy. It was his birthday this past weekend.

-

Things have been disappearing lately.

The take out food containers I’d been reusing to work on dolls and ponies all just vanished at once. All of them. Poof. They’re the shallow, plastic ones with lids. One of the boys must have recycled the whole lot of them. Don’t like that. I used them a lot to hold things while working on things, keep them separate, keep them off the counter or touching other things I’m working on if it’s something gross like rusty tails, etc.

It’s frustrating to have something I use a lot suddenly gone.

Another thing is the cleaning cloths. That was a pack of 12 and I can locate about half as many, now.

However, I have caught myself throwing those in the trash without thinking a time or two, like I would a paper towel. I may have thrown them out and not realized.

-

I realized that I have That Guy’s credit score in my hands and that’s very weird. I could easily rack up his card pushing him into over-use (though his credit limit is really high so that would be rather difficult), or not pay the bills without saying anything and let it go to collections.

Not that I would do either of those things. It’s just weird that, in a situation and relationship where I’m very much cut off from money in such a way that I can’t stash any away in my savings or use it to buy what and from where I actually want (like dolls and stuff off of stores like Mandarake), I also have that kind of possible influence.

It seems illogical.

-

I barely ate this past week, and that’s very likely contributed to my hard crash over the weekend.

I did eventually get through the bag of apples other than two that I had to toss because they were prematurely gross. I ate all of the peppers. Ate the loaf of bread and 2 pieces from the bag of pitas. The boys ate a good deal of the pita chips I’d made. I know I ate 1 stove top and 1 microwave ramen at some point, and I think 2 TV dinners.

For a whole week, that’s not much food at all.

But also I’ve noticed things don’t smell or taste right again. The microwave ramen smelled like elephant poop, and lots of different things have smelled and tasted like play-doh. I wonder if I picked up covid again at that school meeting and am just not having many symptoms this time, or if it’s the same occasional Smell Wrong that I’d been experiencing since the first couple bouts of covid a few years back.

But it triggered a memory of having a similar kind of problem causing food aversion a long time ago and now I’m wondering if that bout of diagnosed anorexia was really a months-long struggle with an unrecognized viral infection.

Though I do still have the body dysmorphia (50 pounds ago I felt like I look the way I do now).

-

I’ve been inundated with makeup and hair videos on Instagram again, likely because I interact with doll faceups and styling videos.

It’s.... How to say....

I still find it uncomfortable that so many people feel obligated to go to such lengths to make themselves look different than they are.

Like, grooming is one thing. Being clean, you know? Putting some goop on your skin so it’s not itchy and cracking and you’re not picking up little infections. that kind of thing. Grooming.

But it’s so much of curly haired people straightening it, straight haired people curling it, wear a wig even though it’s itchy, put on those fake lashes, your nose is the wrong shape regardless of the shape it is so change it with makeup, do not dare to have uneven skintone...

I think that I am very lucky to be ok with how I look. Like, I don’t find myself attractive, but I also don’t feel a need to put on makeup or spend lots of time styling my hair into a shape it doesn’t want to be.

I found the haircut that suits my hair and it happens to be a wash-and-wear cut, too. I have lots of pimples and pick at them because they annoy me but don’t feel a need to cover them up.

Which has nothing to do with people that do their hair and makeup in a way that ISN’T meant to conform to “beauty norms” and do it to be more colorful and for fun.

I think I am lucky in that because so many people can’t feel content in their own skin.

(Though, going back to the body dsymorphia thing, I do feel a need to cover up my body because it feels like I’m doing the general public a disservice if I don’t, and that’s silly.)

-

Also thought it was funny that Volks released Tall Wolf Man BJD, and then Luts was like Oh? GIANT Cat Man BJD, then!!!!

[the1975attheirverybest]

your blog has solid reach and I am piss poor and have no money to get a definitive ADHD diagnosis. The internet is making me believe might want to check it but if any of your followers can contribute this is what I do:

I will bite and pick at the skin around my nails constantly. My nail beds are atrocious, but also delicious.

I will also pick at any loose skin on my arms/legs

I will twirl my hair.

I am currently biting the inside of my lip (the outsides of my lips are irritated because Ive been chewing on them constantly)

I typically will bite my hand when I am working on something and need focus.

I have given myself a bruise, or a hickey like bruise on my chin from pinching it so hard while working on something. It looks like I fell

I will pick at my scalp, disgusting I know

then theres all the rest of shit the internet tells you, like hyperfixating in a song or a tv show or not being able to fall asleep, or sounds...

I just need someone to tell me I'm not the only one struggling because if I speak about it irl I am told that I have no isses and like to stop biting my nails hands etc

I just need idk someone to either tell me nah we all do this you aren't special oooorrrr not everyone does this but it's ok we get it (it might not be anything outside of ordinary but idk)

I have a bruise between my thumb and ither finger because I bite my hand. Not many people I know have that

🚨PLEASE READ IF YOU ARE. PSYCHIATRIST, PSYCH NURSE, THERAPIST, OR A STUDENT ON THE WAY TO BECOMING ANY OF THESE THINGS🚨

If anyone with professional knowledge can weigh in on this, I would SO appreciate it. Let’s help anon out, please 🩷

As for my own response, let me say a few things:

Firstly, I wish I could give you a hug. Alas we are gonna have to use emojis 🫂🫂🫂🫂

Second, I have been formally diagnosed with ADHD and I do most of these things if not all of them. Especially the skin of my fingers thing. I would show you my thumbs right now it weren’t kinda weird and gross to put that out there lmao.

HOWEVER, I’m not qualified to diagnose you, and, my guess is, these symptoms of behaviors could be indicative of other causes. Maybe like really high anxiety or something else. I’m not N expert so I’m not going to do you a disservice by incorrectly diagnosing you.

My therapist usually distinguishes between “weird little quirks” and actual symptoms by asking “does it interfere with your day to day life?” Like the hyper-fixating and the not sleeping and all those things. Do they get in the way of you functioning? If you think “yes” then maybe yeah you need a professional diagnosis.

I can’t weigh in on whether or not it’s normal because I’m not normal, lmao. But I can say that I understand 100%. I do that stuff too. And what I can do is ask where you live (only if you’re comfortable sharing) cuz maybe someone on here could be able to help connect you with a professional who’s understanding of your financial situation? Or like maybe someone knows about resources in your area?

If you’re a student, maybe ask your health center for a referral. Usually they’re good about payments for students.

Sending you all my love and support 💗💗 it’s hard dealing with this stuff. Especially with no support whatsoever. Be kind to yourself please.

ANONS COME ON SOMEONE OUT THERE MUST KNOW SOME WAY TO HELP???

[rad4learning]

I’m going to spell this out for everyone:

I have been - I think - pretty clear on my stance that I think normalisation has a relatively small role in perpetuating masculine/feminine performance. I think radblr culture has a tendency to promote the requirements of feminism as inaction moreso than action and I think that’s not very helpful.

So yeah, if I had to make the call, I’m going to consider the woman who shows up to fight for retirement contributions to be included in maternity leave while wearing makeup and having a boyfriend a net positive contribution to feminism.

This doesn’t mean I think that femininity performance is generally a good idea. I think things like wearing makeup, shaving etc. generally have a low return on investment. I think they generally soothe some self-consciousness at cost of your time, money and learning to be comfortable without them. Let alone potential health impacts etc.

I also think that if you’re a woman who particularly cares about what “radblr thinks” or your discord group then the high risk & low likelihood of lasting reward characteristic of male partnering is heightened. If you aren’t confident to back yourself with these women & do your own decision making what are the chances you’ll be with a male partner? The risks from not backing yourself and being willing to leave are much higher with him too.

If you’re pretty caught up in how others perceive you and your actions then it might be especially beneficial to learn to be ok with a higher chance of people judging your looks. It could be especially helpful to learn that it often isn’t that big a deal as you think. To learn to say “this is the choice I have made for myself. Your opinion is irrelevant.”

I’m in team we all make our own risk assessments. I’m not going to say you’re morally bad if you choose a higher risk option where the costs are primarily born by yourself. It doesn’t mean I’ll think it’s the best choice available but I’ll recognise that it’s your choice to make. (and I don’t really know you or your context so…. why care about my/others’ opinion that much??)

I think the end goal is a society where women don’t get sexist punishment for anything - including avoidable bad choices. Obviously we are not in that society yet. Obviously it is prudent to act based on the current landscape. I recommend acting based on a combination of realism and your ideals.

Where’s the balance? Figure it out for yourself. There is no one answer.

[iamveronica]

i can go for weeks feeling a great deal of affection towards Johnny but then he will say something that irks me and my goodwill goes out the window and i remember people snidely calling him Johnny Marrtyr and “boring guitar nerd” and laugh 

Seymour Stein. Legendary record man. Signed me to Sire Records in 1984

what do you mean “me” what do you mean YOU

Johnny loves calling other people straight and squares but Set the Boy Free post-Smiths was a slog to get through for the most part. congrats on your straight-edge lifestyle, marathon man. genuinely happy for you but wrap it up. out of his post-Smiths work, i mostly just like The The and his solo stuff. not that the whole throwing tomatoes at passersby with Matt Johnson story impressed me either. it just made me go wtf. i was horrified and horribly disappointed by how pedestrian guitar rock The Cribs record was. don’t get me started on Modest Mouse’s singer’s voice. that is to say, i’ve given most of his contributions to music post-Smiths the old college try. ok so you lied to Noel about listening to his tape, ok why. did you not want to hurt his feelings or will you say anything to ingratiate yourself with people? out of Johnny Marr was born the evil that is Oasis, possibly his most unforgivable sin (i am KIDDING btw none of this is serious). the jamming sesh with Paul McCartney that went nowhere. love that for you anyway 

not that Morrissey was much better in roughly the last quarter of Autobiography with the whole rundown of the venues and crowds he played to but he still managed to make me laugh or sit there agape, like his little anecdote of graciously supplying a homeless lady with the entire stock of his hotel room’s mini bar only to be chastised by an unnamed band member with the suggestion that she might be a recovering alcoholic, and Morrissey having nothing to say to that except “Yes, well...” MORRISSEY! or the kidnapping attempt in Mexico that i’m still not sure if i read it in Morrissey’s autobiography or if it was a Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul subplot or both. also:

My nightly walks with Jesse would begin at the tip of Villa Borghese where Via Ulisse Aldrovandi lines up its glossy array of roadside prostitutes – mostly male, hard-bitten heroes fastidiously attired as sons of Eros. Their eyes are darts of desire, standing in the trees beyond, with legs wide apart. Every single night they are there, like a soccer team awaiting the club bus, and we are struck by how none of them are identifiably emasculated; they are just manly sons of mothers in search of others.

his Every single night they are there made me wonder whether it was a safe assumption on his part or his testimony to also being there every single night, gawking. a stunning passage either way 

credit where it’s due, Johnny was very engaging in his descriptions of his child/teenagehood and his road to Morrissey’s doorstep. Set the Boy Free is worth it just for that

i did remember the origin of the Rolling Stones’ Angie tidbit that i mentioned, as it relates to Johnny’s wedding and of COURSE it was Simon Goddard, writing for Pitchfork:

Even his wedding to lifelong girlfriend Angie leaves best man Morrissey on the cutting room floor, similarly robbing the reader of the spooky coincidence that as the newlyweds climbed into a car after the service, the Rolling Stones’ “Angie” magically piped up on the radio. The handsome devil is in such details. Without them, *Set The Boy Free *is the drabbest of plain Janes.

so unkind

but it also reminded me of another IRKSOME thing Johnny did: 

When he dismisses Morrissey’s godhead Oscar Wilde, whose “talent was spoiled by his smug self-regard and pomposity,” the eyebrow needn’t arch very high before registering the inference.

it didn’t make me raise my eyebrow so much as roll my eyes

anyway, i can’t believe it’s 2023 and people are talking about a Smiths reunion again and it’s all down to a few charitable lines Morrissey let slip in the last 24 hours:

If you could go back in time, right back to the 80’s, and start your music journey over again, is there anything you would change or do differently, or are you content and satisfied with your journey and how you have traversed the entertainment world?

I absolutely love it.  I think the songs are magnificent and after all of the prejudicial crap from the press … my soul is still my own.

That’s good to hear.

To have the Smiths as your distant roots gives me pride, and the reasons why we were ridiculed and rejected have now become the precise reasons why so many people love the Smiths in 2023. It’s on the rise!

outside of tumblr, being a Moz fan who likes, nay, loves Johnny, makes me feel like an oddity

anyway 

Do you find this as utterly confusing as the rest of us, that they claim to dislike you, yet can’t quite manage to leave you alone?

It comes across mostly as sexual obsession.

when he’s right, he’s right

[itlivesproject]

hey guys! i’m not sure if you’ll be able to answer this because it might be a little spoiler-y but i hope this is ok (i also hope i explain what i mean alright so i’m very sorry if this doesn’t make sense) is low/high nerve the only thing that contributes to a bad/good ending? or does blood/shadow cause a bad/good ending? for example shadow=bad ending? or is high nerve in either blood or shadow still a good ending?

i really hope that made sense : )

shadow and blood both have good and bad aspects, all depending on your perspective. honestly i'd just say play what feels right and then once the game is finished you can determine which one you think is your canon ending. but the biggest contributor to what could be safely considered by all "bad vs good" is mostly nerve