#ok I’m gonna stop before I rant some more

[stardust-thief]

look after you

an: this my first x reader fic LMAOO, i needed to write smth and this spencer was on my brain :// i am in the middle of a rly long donna fic but i cba this was much easier. also i absolutley have not proof read this sorry

synopsis: you get hurt while hunting down an unsub, after some reluctance (and kind words from papa rossi) you let spencer take care of you, 1.7k words

cw: descriptions of violence, panic attack, spencer swears and can drive (the most un-canon thing abt him) umm italians..., the rest is just fluffy, hurt/comfort, x reader but no y/n

masterlist

The unsub had his gun pointed at you, the cold press of the barrel against flesh. He was ranting and raving about needing to be seen and understood, having spent his childhood in emotional neglect. Teachers and parents failed him at every turn, it’s not his fault that this happened but he can fix it if he just drops the gun. Rossi tried to tell him this over and over, but he only got more angry, pushing the gun in harder and harder. 

If you were to open your eyes, you would’ve seen JJ and Luke there too, guns trained on the unsub. Their eyes glancing between you, the unsub, and the gun. But you didn’t. Not until the bang went off and you could breathe again. 

The flashing lights of the ambulance do nothing to dissuade the pressing headache you feel coming on, the movement of people helps even less. You watch as the EMT’s cart the unsub away on a gurney, sheet covering him. 

“You okay, kid?” Rossi asks from beside you, he had been hovering ever since the ambulance arrived. 

“I’m fine, just need a good night's rest. I’ll be good as new.” You hummed half-heartedly. 

David Rossi always knew when someone was lying to him, part of that talent comes from his job as a profiler, but it’s mostly because of some ancient Italian magic. “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that to me. Look, Hotch is on his way with Reid and Emily. They’re gonna be taking some witness statements, but I imagine Boy Wonder will be a little distracted. I want you to let him take care of you, ok? You’ve been through hell tonight kid, let him worry.”

Italians never lie, although you wish they did. Spencer had very obviously caught feelings for you, everyone on the team could see it. Unfortunately, so could you. Spencer Reid was one of the kindest, most genuine people you had ever met, always putting other people's needs before his own. A voice in your head kept telling you that there is nothing you have done to deserve someone like him doting all over you? You had only brought trouble to the people who loved you. Eventually you learned that it was better to just keep everyone at a distance; if you don’t let them in, they can’t get hurt. Which worked well, up until Spencer.

He had such a wormy way of getting into your brain at the worst times; whether it was when you were alone in your kitchen, or at slightly dangerous, very inappropriate times on a case. You couldn’t stop thinking about him and his stupidly cute (and sometimes ill-timed) facts. Some part of you wanted to let him in, in the end the stubborn side always took over. 

Before long, you heard the worried cries of Spencer trying to find you in the chaos. Rossi called his name and gave you a pat on the shoulder, “Remember, you deserve to be looked after too.” and left to find Hotch.

“Oh my god, are you okay? We tried to get here as soon as we could, but they managed to take down the unsub right? What happened, did he hurt you? How did you get so close? Talk to me are-” Oh, how he rambles. 

“Spencer, I’m fine. I just need to… rest, you know. He didn’t hurt me that bad, just a sprained wrist, couple bruises. Could’ve been worse.”

He spluttered, “Could’ve- you know, that doesn’t make this any better, I was so worried about you. He had a fucking gun to your head, I was going insane thinking about what could’ve happened. What did the EMT say about your wrist?”

“Just to rest it, and use an ice pack if it starts to swell or hurt.” You couldn’t look him in the eye, he was so worried about you. It made butterflies dance in your belly, but there was a twinge of guilt there too. He was so busy, he worked so hard and then went home to look after his mom. He had too much on his plate, how could you add more to it? “Spence, I’m really sorry about worrying you. I should be fine to leave now, so I’ll just head home and sleep it off. Have a good night.” You pushed yourself off the ambulance, eyes focused downwards, restless fingers fidgeting with the already frayed bandage.

“No- wait what are you talking about? You’re gonna drive yourself home in this condition? I can’t let you do that, even thinking about it makes me feel sick.” He lowered his head to yours and spoke softer this time, “Please let me take you home. I don’t have to stay, I just want to make sure you’re ok, ok?”

Fuck that voice did things to you. Leaning from side to side, you thought about what Rossi had said earlier. Maybe, it was ok to let someone in? It would be cruel to let him suffer more, not knowing if you were ok or somehow got in a car crash with 5 other vehicles on your way home. Just this once, you think.

Looking up into his soft eyes, you give a small nod. His lips immediately turned up into a smile, his hand comes up to cup your head, fingers stroking your cheek. It felt… nice. His thumb was calloused but he still moisturised enough for it to feel smooth, and he smelled like lemongrass and ginger. His hand fell to the small of your back as he guided you to his car. Ever the gentlemen, he opened your door and softly placed his hand over your head as you got in. Manoeuvring himself into the driver's side, he pulled out his phone and typed something, then quickly stuffed it away into a pocket and turned on the engine.

The sky was dark when you woke up. The unsub had a gun to your head at dusk, and Spencer was walking into your apartment when the moon was out. He took off his shoes and the door, and walked into your living room.

“I’ve never been here before,” he mused. “I like it.”

He looked at ease wandering around your apartment, his shoulders had relaxed and he let out soft musings as he perused your photo collections.

“Oh Spencer, not that one, it’s embarrassing!” You tried (with not a lot of effort) to pull him away from the frame.

“No this is cute, was this when you were at University?” He asked, wrapping an arm around you.

Oh my god. “Yeah, um- those were some of my friends at the time. I try and keep in touch but, you know.”

He hummed, pulling you closer into him. Finally content, he looked down at you. “How’s your wrist?”

“It’s ok,” you shrugged, “just a little tender now.”

“Where’s your kitchen, I can get some ice.”

“Spence-” you wanted to tell him no, to go home and look after himself. But his body was so warm, having him so close to you melted your brain, leaving you unable to think of any good reason as to why he should leave. “It’s the first door on the right.”

His grip tightened for a moment before he swiftly navigated you to the sofa, and turned to leave for the kitchen. The cold of the apartment rushed to get you as soon as he unraveled his arms. You hadn’t been alone all day since the unsubs attack, it somehow felt more claustrophobic. His hand on your throat, squeezing the air from your lungs. The way he grabbed your arm, contorting it so he could throw you to the ground. The gun, pressed into your forehead. The knowledge that the only thing between you being alive, and you being in a ditch, was a madman's finger on the trigger. Reality faded as each memory pressed further and further into your mind. You weren’t in your apartment anymore, you could feel the cold concrete beneath your hands. The thick air in your lungs, Rossi and the unsub shouting.

A hand on your knee, a soft voice bringing you back. There was no unsub, no gun to your head. You were alive. You were alive and Spencer was in your apartment, wiping the tears that had fallen down your face.

“You with me?” His voice was so soft, you couldn’t recall ever hearing Spencer raise his voice in anger. He was so gentle when he touched you. 

The floodgates burst, choked sobs made their way past your lips. Your shoulder shook as you cried, pressing yourself into Spencer’s arms. “Oh honey,” He murmured, pressing his lips into your head, softly rocking you back and forth as you sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. It was too much. You could have died today. Very nearly did. You weren’t ready to die, not yet at least.

As your cries softened into hiccups, you pushed yourself back from Spencer. “I’m sorry, that was so disgusting. It just all- I don’t know.”

 “Hey, you don’t ever have to apologise to me ok? What you went through was really scary, I’d honestly be more shocked if you didn’t cry.” His hand moved to draw soothing shapes along your back as you leaned back into him. “You want to watch something to calm down? I brought you some water and an ice pack for your wrist.”

He would be the death of you. You nod and push yourself back into the sofa, moving your wrist to rest in your lap. Spencer gently places the ice pack across your wrist and grips the tips of your fingers. He leans forward to push your cup of water towards you and grabs the TV remote, then turns and leans back so your side is pressed into his front. Truthfully, Spencer didn’t seem like the type to watch cable TV but he navigated the menu with somewhat ease. 

“Look at what’s on! It’s your favourite isn’t it, you want me to put it on.” He said as he nudged your shoulder.

He remembered your favourite film, of course he would remember it he has an eidetic memory. You hummed a yes as you relaxed your body further into his, finally content. Maybe Rossi was right, having Spencer close really wasn’t so bad after all.

[pi-creates]

I can’t stop being upset about Veilguard’s writing, and apparently the only way I can get it out of my thoughts is to put it down in words, so here we go…

I’m frustrated, I’m upset, and the longer I think about the way this game was written, the more problems present themselves… and I bloody hate that. It feels like a first draft writing effort, and every time I’m reminded that this game was in development for so many years, I cannot fathom this being the end result. Dragon Age 2 had 16 months of development, and it feels more cohesive and put together writing-wise. I can see the years of polish in the visuals, but the spectacle of the game doesn’t blind me to all the problems in the writing.

Naturally, these are personal opinions, I am genuinely thrilled for people who have played the game and enjoyed it – I wish I could be there enjoying it with you – but clearly these things get under my skin more and spoil the experience for me when they aren’t problems for you. And I also acknowledge there are genuine good parts of the game which I enjoy, but those moments aren’t enough to overshadow the negative experiences that irk me.

And because this post has apparently gotten away from me… I’m gonna put some headings to summarise the problems I’m having, because otherwise this is just a massive rant with no structure.

Show me things, stop just telling it to me.

So much of the game feels like writer’s notes where they put “what the player should take away from this scene” and instead of being creative with how they do that, they just say it verbatim. My immersion in this game was being broken by the game reminding me it’s a video game – which yes, I know it is, but I want to be invested in this world and feel like I’m part of it.

Varric and the game’s own pop-up system is the main problem that’s consistent through the whole game – constantly dropping narration or mission summary where they have zero problem dropping exposition on us and/or spoiling future content. Forget letting me explore these things and reach my own conclusions, the game is going to make sure I know exactly the interpretation I’m meant to have for every moment.

And it’s so damn frequent, I feel like they don’t think I’m paying attention and therefore need to constantly poke me with reminders instead of trusting me to reach my own conclusions. Do they not trust me to have an attention span long enough to go on a walk with Davrin without reminding me at the end of the walk that I did that?

To add to that problem, I absolutely hate how the writing just has people know things – they shouldn’t know this, they shouldn’t be talking to us about this, all evidence points to them not being able to know or be ok discussing this, but for some reason they do.

The Veil Jumpers suddenly just know how to translate and interact with ancient elven artifacts, ignore how the Dalish have been trying to do that since the fall of the Dales (and realistically, even before that) and their efforts over those hundreds of years were a scrap, a pittance of what could be known. But I guess the Veil Jumpers are just better than those hundreds of years in the few years they’ve been active.

Oh, and the scary reputation of the Dalish is just gone? These people just go to the elves they have deemed “savages��� because they simply know these ones have good intentions? This world has been established as very untrusting of the intentions of other groups, but that’s simply gone now for this one – I wish I was shown how this started in some way instead of just being told it’s chill now.

And don’t get me started on Strife and Irelin and their seemingly endless knowledge that they shouldn’t have. I read the comics, I get that they’d probably know about the Dreadwolf and have a vested interest in learning more once that particular bit of information was revealed to them – but they somehow also just know about the mask Cyrian is wearing? They know it will influence him but not control his will? Why do you know this with no doubt whatsoever?

Why can’t these things just be presented as theories? Or give us something to find and reference where that information comes from? I want to learn things without just having characters tell me things they know.

And overall, I hate how this game decides to just exposition dump information on us, then we sit around and talk about the exposition dump – it’s overwhelming in magnitude. It feels like such a passive way to have us engage with everything, and this is supposed to be an interactive experience. Instead of being force-fed exposition in big chunks, drip feed details, let us put the puzzle together, let us gather and discuss what we learn with multiple interpretations like the RPG this is meant to be.

And this exposition problem also ruins the stakes in the game for me. Personal interpretation, probably, but the stakes in this game feel artificially inflated to me via having characters constantly tell Rook they are going up against the biggest threat ever. We bring in past heroes of the series to reiterate that, how they think we’re up against worse things than they faced… and I don’t feel that. Telling me constantly how hopeless things are, but every obstacle ends up being overcome relatively easily and without great losses… no, I don’t feel the stakes are real.

Oh, and hearing the talk of how all of Thedas is in trouble, there is so much destruction and only Rook can save them… why don’t you find a way to show me that? Because I’m not feeling that, I’m not seeing it, and I’m starting to think the Inquisitor is making stuff up so Rook doesn’t ask them to get involved again when they’re so busy.

This is a lore problem in the series…

Plot holes and wonky lore can happen, it’s not surprising… especially when there are three games prior to this as well as several books, comics, and other branches of the universe. There have been inconsistencies since the start, and a lot of it doesn’t matter – I don’t care if the second moon is forgotten about, the moon not being there isn’t going to make a problem with the way the story is told since that moon is never something elaborated upon in the plot.

This game though… it has problem that are both related to information in this game not being consistent with previous games, and information within its own contained plot contradicting itself.

I’m not going to beat the dead horse of “this isn’t how the previous games did it/explained it”, people who played the previous games are aware, I don’t see a point of elaborating in detail all the instances of this. Just take some dot points of the one’s I noticed:

The Crows are a horrifying organisation that are suddenly presented wholesome

The Qun offering to rehabilitate Karash is horrifying and it’s presented wholesome

Slaves are meant to be everywhere in Tevinter, but we don’t see that

Racism is supposed to be rampant in Tevinter (and other nations, but particularly here for any non-human), and we also don’t see that

Handling pure lyrium is fine now (unless you’re Harding)

Adult Dalish without vallaslin (Elgar’nan’s captives)

Fenharel’s agents are just gone now – as are all signs of mass elven exodus from cities

Solas’ opinion on blood magic is suddenly negative instead of neutral

Spirits dying is given the same weight as people dying

Flemeth…….just everything about Flemeth and Morrigan

Re-write of the after credits scene in Inquisition to recontextualise the Flemeth and Solas interaction

Isabela’s attitude towards Shathann sending Taash away without their knowledge (the comics make me doubt she’d be cool with this)

Non-Dalish elves knowing things about ancient elves and elven language

Blight sickness and how darkspawn are “born” (some leeway for this one since the blight is overall just different in this one, but it does feel less interesting this way)

Morrigan naming the Crossroads in lieu of the true name being lost to time, but everyone uses the term now

Crossroads looking different through elven eyes

You can’t just make people be magic/not magic (me side-eyeing Illario and his random ability to do magic now)

This is a contained problem in this game…

What troubles me more is the inconsistencies within the same game… that isn’t just deciding “this is how it works now in this iteration”, this is a problem that they wrote into existing, then either didn’t notice or didn’t resolve appropriately. And granted, some of these things aren’t inherently plot holes, but when you put certain aspects under inspection, it doesn’t make things look good.

For starters… I have to talk about Varric. Or more accurately, not-Varric.

I’m under the impression that not-Varric is simply Rook’s memory of Varric being projected for them. I personally don’t think there’s some extra level of Solas interference in what Rook is seeing moment to moment… and I feel the need to state that because Rook’s memory cannot conjure up information that Rook doesn’t know.

So why does not-Varric point out that the ritual dagger is the dagger from DA2?

Rook could not recognise it, there is absolutely no reason for Rook to even theorise that – so not-Varric should not be able to impart this knowledge to Rook. And what makes this worse for me, aside from being an impossible situation as the plot presents it, is that this observation doesn’t matter in the slightest. They put this backstory to the McGuffin Dagger and I don’t know why since all it does is create a plot hole. The only purpose I can see for this moment existing at all is to bolster the illusion that not-Varric is real and trying to help with the cause in whatever way possible.

Then there are other issues with Varric not being alive which makes other character’s lack of talking about him feel awful. Like, it’s not natural the way people avoid mentioning him when it would be very appropriate to do so – and I understand that to an extent, the game’s gotta game – they want to surprise us and therefore the characters aren’t going to blatantly give the surprise away early. But the Inquisitor doesn’t ask after him at all? Doesn’t mention how Kirkwall is coping now that the viscount is dead? Dorian doesn’t say anything after learning Varric found Solas in his city and then died? Isabela has nothing to say about Varric until after the illusion is broken for Rook?

It makes it feel like Varric’s friends (aside from Harding, the only person who seems to actively mourn him at the start of the game) don’t give two shits that he’s gone.

That’s not even accounting for how characters don’t bother to check in with Rook who is constantly talking with the companions about their various issues of mourning, hearing voices or apparitions, and just checking in with them overall – but none of that is seemingly reciprocated.

Frankly, this makes me feel awful. I feel awful for Varric being seen as so disposable that his friends don’t mention him or his absence. I feel awful for Rook who is apparently not worth the direct effort that they offer others.

And I try to think of how a new player to this series would feel about all of this – because Varric was just some guy who walked us through a tutorial in this game. Most of our time with him is fake, any connection I saw form between Rook and Varric in this game isn’t real – but then Rook mourns Varric more than he mourns the companions we have spent most of the game with.

I don’t like it.

And I don’t like the utilisation of returning characters. Morrigan, or as she’s utilised in this game deus-ex-Morrigan, has a new view of Flemeth and therefore she will take on Mythal’s soul fragment so she can again swoop in and save the day by handing us the means to get a reconciliation type ending… it couldn’t be something that characters in this game figure out, just have a returning character provide us with the magic solution. Also ignore how the whole reason Morrigan was afraid of her mother in the DAO and DAI was that her body would get taken over by her spirit… but I guess that doesn’t happen now. We can just create new rules for this iteration because it’s easier to tell the story this way.

Solas is also just… I’m so upset by what was done with him. He was a character in DAI who told half-truths or lied by omission, leaving others to assume false information without him actually saying it – it was never just blatant lies to take advantage of others. And his motivations were about restoration of something he felt he had robbed the world, it was about righting what he viewed as a mistake which lead to such a cascade of problems that he needed to somehow rectify it. Whether you agree with his point of view or his desires doesn’t matter, his principles remain the same in terms of what motivates him.

Then this game happens and he’s just a liar constantly, and not even a clever one if you can apparently just trick him up with a “woopsie, this isn’t the real dagger”, and he also apparently has no insight into the idea that Rook would anticipate that.

They make him act like the worst interpretation someone could have of him, the thing he actively was trying to tell us was a false interpretation in DAI and the comics. But history was written and remembered by those who experienced the negative outcomes of his choices, and they remembered that as the greatest evil in comparison to what else could have been. But apparently in this game, that’s the truth now. His motivation is about his desires and he cares nothing for the people who has hurt or will be hurt. But it’s ok, because just as easily as his motivation changed between DAI and Veilguard, it will be changed again at end game if you listen to deus-ex-Morrigan.

Then there are smaller things, but things that really would have been caught if someone was just paying a little bit of attention…

Like Harding and Emmrich going camping in Fereldan… which if we’re to believe the things the Inquisitor was saying about Southern Thedas, I don’t think you’re going to have a fun trip. But I’m glad they’re able to find some time for a vacation while the refugees are getting blighted all over.

Or Rook actively saying “I should talk to Varric” directly in front of characters in the lead up to end-game, and those characters choosing to completely ignore that.

Or in Neve’s companion story, Aelia deciding to interrogate the witness to the red lyrium deal right next to where it happened. She didn’t need to be in the area, she was puppetting the smuggler, and she clearly has insight into what the person is seeing and doing while puppetting them. So I guess she’s just there so we can figure out she was involved.

Or the game telling us that Anaris need Cyrian to perform rituals for him since Anaris doesn’t have a physical body to do them himself… except he apparently doesn’t because he can kill Cyrian when he disobeys. I still would like to know if Cyrian ever died originally, by the way, and if so how he’s back and seemingly normal – this game likes to answer big lore questions like it’s nothing, but they just gloss over details like this.

Or how in Emmrich’s missions, Manfred’s spirit dies and can just be brought back to life… so I guess spirits dying means nothing if they can be brought back with their memory and personality intact. So that Solas flashback where we were supposed to be appalled that spirits died? Apparently there was nothing lost there, someone just needs to revive them and they can carry on as normal.

Or how the rewrite of DAI’s ending cutscene implies that Solas killed Flemeth/Mythal… before he had the power to do so since the whole reason he has been able to do anything in this game is because he absorbed her amassed power. So Flemeth/Mythal would have to let her power go willingly since Solas should not be able to forcibly take it, but clearly, she didn’t since the dialogue we’re given is her being reluctant. Solas apparently has the power he needs to do things when the plot demands it, but also no power when the plot demands it (aka, when Rook needs to prove they’re better than him).

Or the crew making a fake Ritual dagger near end game. For no reason whatsoever. They just decided to do that knowing it would only be a prop, but they had no plans that even involved a prop at that point – so they just did this because the plot told them they had to.

And speaking of that Ritual dagger… all the old elves want that dagger for one reason of another, but they never seem to try to get it when they can, or they don’t seem too concerned when it’s not in their grip anymore. Solas doesn’t try to hold onto it after Varric gets stabbed. Elgar’nan doesn’t try to pick it up after it kills Ghilan’nain, in spite of him knowing it’s the one thing that can kill him… nope, just leave it there and peace out.

Or my personal most hated thing – Isseya and her stupid motivation making no sense.

I cannot fathom the logic of having Isseya, a warden who was forced to blight griffons, who came to resent this order as she watched the griffons go mad, made it her mission to safeguard a clutch of eggs, takes the blight from the eggs into herself while using magic to put the eggs into status, then goes off to her calling which doesn’t actually end in her death… and somehow, 400 years later, she’s decided that since those eggs have hatched and the griffons are healthy and unblighted, the thing she wanted, but they’re in the hands of wardens which she doesn’t really like, so now she’s gonna go get those griffons to blight them.

Literally doing the thing that made her so mad at the wardens. Because she wants to save the griffons from the wardens and their cruelty… by repeating it… I just… this is nonsense.

If she’s capable of articulating that she’s mad at the wardens for their cruelty to the griffons, then she shouldn’t be repeating it thinking she’s saving the griffons. If she was just keeping the griffons captive to keep them away from the wardens, then I could buy that, but adding the element of her wanting to blight them just makes this nonsensical.

Oh and never talk the First Warden down – it will make the final scenes with Isseya even worse if he tells you about the feather from her griffon and show it to her. Because I don’t even think Isseya dies in that variant of the cutscene, she just says sorry and rolls on the floor while I guess Rook and Davrin let the griffons out…

Who is Rook?

Usually, in a game like this, choices are what make us feel like an active participant in the world. It helps us build up our own character and determine how/why they behave the way they do, and also how the world around them is shaped by the consequences of those moments.

But this game feels so stripped of choice, especially choice which is any way related to morality or priorities that aren’t standard ‘Hero traits’. Rook will always do the right thing, they can’t be motivated by personal desires, excitement, monetary gain, fame, etc…. and when Rook is forced to make a choice, there is no option which would be looked at as unreasonable by companions. They might give us an approval/disapproval pop up, but it never really feels like Rook is capable of being incompatible with anyone, they will always be seen as justified in companion’s eyes. And to me, this makes Rook as the game presents them incredibly bland.

Most of Rook’s unique characterisation happens in the character creator – the game gives us minimal chances to expand or form a personality for Rook that is significantly different from any other person who plays the game. We do the heavy lifting here, we transpose qualities on Rook because the game won’t give us meaningful opportunities to do that.

And not only do I feel like the game lacks choices that would help us define Rook, it lacks decisions that make me feel like I’m having any impact on the world overall. I can defend Minrathous or I can defend Treviso… this is the one choice we make which seems to actually shape the world we play in.

And it doesn’t even come up as something Rook can regret in the sequence about regrets… Rook apparently is faced with only regrets that are the result of other people’s decisions to volunteer to do something. But the one thing where Rook actually has to actively choose something, something they are actually responsible for the suffering on the side they don’t defend… that isn’t something they can regret.

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Surely, if Rook should regret anything it should be the thing they feel direct responsibility for, no? But Rook doesn’t. Because Rook doesn’t regret anything they do, because they aren’t written with choices that they can regret since they aren’t seen as responsible for negative outcomes.

Honestly, that sequence might as well have been about mourning or sadness rather than regret, because Rook has to be upset at the loss of companions, we don’t get to influence that. But Rook isn’t regretful – that’s how they get out – but I can’t help but wonder why they didn’t then make us able to actively regret the legitimate choices we make, rather than feeling regret for our companions deciding to risk themselves.

Rook feels like an outside observer to everything that happens around them. They are the mediator, the sounding board, the magic-8-ball for decision making when companions need a push because they’re stuck. Sure, they do things, but for an RPG the way they go about things feels so linear.

And on another note… why is Rook seen as important? They start championing Varric’s cause in his absence, they want to stop the veil coming down and that starts with stopping Solas, then stopping Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain. But to the outside observer, Rook is just some guy who says they are on an important missions, and they really need to speak with all these important leaders of factions – just trust them, I’m sure the First Warden is happy to make time for a meeting. And also the First Talon of the Crows, I’m sure they are fine with just some foreign person saying they need to meet your leader.

What I’m trying to get at is that Rook has no title, your group isn’t given any proper title or status which these people can look at and assume Rook is being truthful, trustworthy, or even worth their time. No one has any reason to hear Rook out, but in this game, they either just do, or they don’t and it’s because they’re actually a bad guy.

But Rook is no one special. They realistically shouldn’t be trusted like they are, they should absolutely be struggling to be taken seriously by others but it’s portrayed as unfair when that does happen. But they’re the protagonist, and it’s like everyone in the world simply knows that. I want Rook to struggle, I want them to grow and prove themselves, but it feels like we skip passed that to get straight to the fantasy of being in charge and considered fit for that role. 

Pacing and feeling like something was missing…

The start and ending throw a lot at us and expect us to keep on running – but then the middle portion of the game suffers due to the companions putting a stop sign on the plot so you can do their companion quests. And they aren’t shy about telling you “you need to stop and do our quests or we’ll be distracted at end game”… and again, thank you game for explaining game mechanics to me.

I was going to complete character quests, because if I care about the characters of course I’m going to do that. Having to actually pause the plot and have the characters explain to you that you have to care… I don’t know how to explain this, but it immediately took me out of the fragile immersion I was trying to get into. It makes me upset with the companions for reasons I can’t put into words. Maybe it’s because in one fell swoop it made me see them as checklists to be completed instead of people I wanted to know? I’m not sure, if someone had a similar reaction to this moment and has a better explanation, I would love to be enlightened on what it is that makes me so uncomfortable about this.

But I digress, the problem here is that the plot grinds to a halt. We stop doing things which feel like we’re advancing our plan of stopping the big baddies, we just kind of patter around and make sure our companions feel ok. And most of those missions to help our companions aren’t connected to the enemy we’re facing… Aelia, Anaris, Hezenkoss, Illario, The Dragon King, Isseya – they aren’t agents of the big baddies, they are just enemies that pop up at the same time as the big baddies are around, and are therefore making the situation worse.

So yes, we’re still doing stuff, but it feels like fluff. It feels like a detour while we just hope the world doesn’t burn while we stop to go on another picnic.

This is something that happens in a lot of games, the urgency isn’t real because you can stop progressing plot to go for a long walk if you want to – but in none of the other games did it feel so blatant to me. I still felt like most of the little tasks in the interim of plot advancement were at least advancing the cause in little ways… I don’t feel that with a lot of the things that happen in the middle of the game. It just becomes about companion missions; the bad guys will wait until we sort that out, the blight will stop advancing so we can have family dinners and go for walks.

And I really don’t know how to explain this, but it feels like something is missing in how the story progresses. Like extra things were meant to be happening and they are just not there. Maybe this is another part of how the game often just tells me things that happen in scene transitions, or it’s me really wishing there were more actual plot advancing missions in the middle of the game.

This problem I think also is most evident in the romances. Veilguard seems to take its romance pacing more from the Mass Effect games than the previous Dragon Age games – and while it was acceptable in Mass Effect to have very few romance scenes, and predominantly only having one big scene which culminates at end game, but suddenly introducing it in this series makes it feel like a huge downgrade from previous instalments.

It feels like we’re missing things, we’re given banters by companions commenting on the progress of our relationship and our partner can talk about how close they feel to our Rook – we’re given the impression our relationship is strong and established midway through the game. But with how strong the characters talk, it feels like we should have experienced so many more interactions with our partner to substantiate that.

For comparisons sake, in DAI if you enter a romance prior to going to the Winter Palace, you get romantic dialogue with your partner if they’re present, you get a dance, you get to feel like you’re in a relationship as it’s developing into something deeper. You get more interactions as the game goes on, moving from spoken interest, kisses, and intimacy (in most cases). It’s a slow build, and let’s you feel the build up by giving you glimpses of each step as the relationship develops, and then letting you just experience being in the relationship.

This game feels like it gives us the bare minimum in actual content, but has characters talk about how established the relationship is. The heavy lifting is again left to us to interpret all these blank spaces and fill in how this relationship is developing. The problem isn’t inherently with what the game gives us, it's what it doesn’t.

It lets us choose a relationship in the middle of the game, then it doesn’t give us all the progression – rather it gives us the minimal amount of snippets to meet the checklist of “they express interest, they mutually agree to be in a relationship, the relationship is consummated physically”. Sure, we can continue to pick flirt/love based dialogues, but it doesn’t feel nearly as strong as the banters seem to be telling us it is. And over all, we can go a very long time between each progression point.

I love this franchise, and I so desperately wanted to like this instalment… and instead I feel hollow.

[callsign-dexter]

Love in the Moonlight 18+

Request: Hiya ❤️ hope you don't mind me sending in a Tim Bradford idea 😊 I thought about something where they're colleagues and close friends (with crushes) but she distances from him as he starts going out for dates. He notices that and one night comes to her apartment to confront her. But as he sees her in her nightgown he can't resist and kisses her, making love to her, and she never stops him. Afterwards they cuddle and he admits that he just went on dates to get rid of the feelings he has towards her, but now all he wants is her to be his girl, which she happily accepts. Thank you in advance sweetheart 💋 you're the best !

Pairings: Tim Bradford x Police Officer!Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, swearing, smut

Masterlist

A/N: @talesofreading and @imagine-all-the-fandoms Tim smut for ya hope you're prepared....

Love can make you do some crazy things. Love could make you jealous to the point of doing something you regret. Love can make you think of nobody else besides that person. Love is just unpredictable. Love is something you want with Tim but it seems like you were the only one that wants that. Tim doesn’t even seem that interested in you and you hated that. Every time you saw Tim you fell further in love but he just seems to see you as one of the guys and that kills you. What you didn’t know was that he loved you too but was too afraid to show. Every date you went on made him jealous and every date he went on shattered your heart a little more each time. You wanted that to be you. You wanted to be the one wrapped in his coat on a windy night or under his arm sleeping in his bed. 

Tim and you were very close and the crush started when you both got out of the academy and then when you both got accepted at the same precinct. Where he became a TO you just became a regular officer and you loved it. You and Tim did everything together from texting each other 24/7, eating lunch together, having each other over at each other’s apartments, crashing at each other places when one became too drunk, even to the point of going to the movies together. You both had everything from bathroom necessities to both of your favorite types of coffee at each other’s apartments.  How were you not supposed to fall in love with the man you hang out with all the time? 

The only people that knew of this crush was your two best friends Angela and Talia who had sworn to secrecy not to say anything. You had girls’ night often and you would rant and rave about it and they would sympathize with you. You even talked to them about maybe transferring to another unit or taking the offer that the FBI that you kept getting offers from. Currently you were out with the girls, that included Lucy now, at a bar that you visited frequently. Everyone was a few drinks in but you were further into them and feeling it. “I just don’t know what to do anymore. Clearly, he doesn’t like me like that and he only sees me as one of his guy friends. I can’t keep going on with this burning aching feeling of love for him. It’s to the point that I’m considering taking that offer that the FBI has been sending me. I would be in Quantico, VA and far away from him.” You said taking a drink of your beer that had been freshly poured. 

“Oh honey, he feels so much more towards you.” Lucy said and you scuffed.

“Bullshit. He has a funny way of showing it.” You said. You were definitely drunk. “I just want to have hot crazy sex with him.” You said and everyone chuckled.

“Ok, that is enough for you.” Angela said “I’m gonna call Tim to come and get you.” She said and you looked at her horrified. You all had taken a cab to the bar since you all were drinking and then you had planned for Nolan or Jackson to come and get you all. You had taken one earlier to secure a spot and started drinking about 3 minutes before them starting with the hard stuff aka Fireball. 

“Nooooo, you can’t do that.” You said beginning to slur. That was the thing about you two, the both of you would drop everything to come to each other aid no matter what and no matter where.

“Yes, I’m calling him.” Angela said and pulled out her phone and dialed his number in. “I’m also calling Nolan afterwards to come and get us. We’re calling it a night.” She said and then Tim answered she started talking to him. 

——————————————————————

Tim was out having a date with Teresa and was not having a good time. He really wished that he was with you at the moment with you cuddled in his arms. Tim was bored. She was going on about something that happened at work and he was halfway paying attention to her. Suddenly he heard his phone ringing and he mentally sighed in relief, he pulled it out and saw that it was Angela calling and he frowned, a million questions ran through his head: ‘Did something happen?’, ‘Were you alright?’. He answered it without hesitation.

“Angela, is everything ok?” He asked right out of the gate.

“Tim, hi. I know you’re on a date right now but Y/N is absolutely hammered. Can you come and get her?” She asked

“Of course. Is she ok?” He asked, reaching for his wallet.

“If you would consider her about to get into a bar fight with a guy that touched her ass, then yeah.” She said and that made his eyes widened in panic.

“I’ll be there soon. Just keep her contained. I’m 5 minutes away.” He said

“We’ll try our best. But you know your girl is strong as hell.” She said and his heart skipped a beat when she said that. “Just hurry.” She said and then hung up and so did he.

Teresa was looking at him as he finished the call. “Let me guess you need to go.” She said and he nodded.

“I’m sorry.” He said and she smiled.

“It’s ok. Raincheck?” She said and he nodded. He got in and started the trip to the bar that was only 5 minutes away. He was quick to spot you and Angela outside and you were sitting on the curb looking drunk as all get out and he knew you would be feeling it in the morning. 

——————————————————————

Angela saw the lights of his truck and sighed in relief. “Y/N, your knight in shining armor has arrived.” She said with a smirk and you looked at her.

“No, he is not. He doesn’t love me like that.” You slurred and she shook her head. Tim parked the truck and got out and walked over to you.

“How much did she have to drink?” He asked and you looked up at hearing his voice.

“Timothy!” You slurred and tried to stand up but fell and he sighed but helped you stand up. 

“I think she started drinking before we arrived.” Angela said and Tim turned toward you.

“Y/N how much have you had to drink?” He asked using his cop voice and you looked at him and started thinking.

“Like 6 shots of Fireball, several glasses of beer, and lots and lots of shots. Speaking of shots, can we go in and get more?” You asked, already starting to turn towards the bar.

“Nope as a friend, I’m cutting you off.” He said and that sent a pang of hurt through your chest.

“Right friend.” You said and let him help you get in his truck. He turned to Angela who was walking with you both and she was opening the door since he was pretty much holding you up. He guided you up into the truck and made sure you were buckled in and then shut the door and turned to Angela. 

“I shouldn’t be telling you this but that girl has had a crush on you since you both got out of the academy. She literally would drop everything for you and you know it and I know you too. It hurts her every time you go out with someone because she wishes that it was her.” She said and he shook his head.

“That’s not true.” He said and she shook her head. “No, she doesn’t. We’re just very good friends.” He said and she shook her head.

“Whatever, just get her home safely.” Angela said and turned back and walked back into the bar. 

Tim got into the truck. He looked over at you and you were sound asleep and he smiled. He put the truck into drive and headed to your apartment. It was a silent ride to your apartment and when he got there. He pulled into a parking spot next to your car and got the truck parked and killed the engine. Then he was walking over to the passenger’s and opened it and unbuckled your seatbelt and gently got you and carried you. When he got to the front door, he grabbed his keys and found your key and unlocked the door. Yes, he had a key to your place and you had a key to his place. He unlocked the door and shut it going straight to your bedroom. He gently laid you down and pulled off your shoes and then covered you up. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed some Tylenol and a bottle of Gatorade and then walked into your office and wrote a note then, he walked it to your room and sat it on the nightstand. He grabbed your phone and plugged it in and then left.

The next morning you woke up to your phone alarm blaring and your head was pounding and you were hung over. You turned over to shut it off and then noticed the note along with the Gatorade and Tylenol. 

Take these and drink all of the Gatorade. It’ll help.

-Tim

You smiled and took the Tylenol and drank the Gatorade as you got ready for the day. By the time you were leaving all of it was gone and you were feeling better. You walked out to your car and got into your car and then you were off to work. You saw Tim’s truck and smiled but then you decided to park next to Nolan’s and got you and walked into the precinct. You greeted everyone and headed to the locker room where you quickly got changed and then walked into the briefing room, it was mostly full and few seats left. Tim noticed you walked in and smiled and motioned to the open seat next to him but you bowed your head and decided to sit next to Smitty of all people and that made him frown, you always sat beside him. Sergeant Grey walked in and started the briefing and then when he was done you shot out of there in a hurry before Tim had even gotten a chance to come and say hi or ask you how you were feeling. 

Lately you had noticed him going on more dates and being happy and that was killing you on the inside. So, you started to distance yourself from him. At first it was making excuses when he asked to hang out and then not answering his every phone call, or hardly texting him and when you text back you would send a short or one worded answer. You even started to take separate lunches or take yours to go. It saddened him that you were pulling away but he didn’t let it show and that upset you, it was like he didn’t even care. 

Lucy and he did catch up to you when you were getting your bags and stuff “Hey, Y/N.” Tim said and you tensed and turned to him.

“Oh, hey.” You said 

“How are you feeling?” He asked

“Fine.” You said and then grabbed your stuff and you were heading to your shop. 

“Hey, are you free tonight? There is a movie out that I thought we could see together.” Tim asked 

“No, sorry. I have plans.” You said and then you were gone before he could get another word out. 

Once you were alone out on the streets you were fine and actually happy. You answered calls here and there and they were mostly easy. There were a few that you had to take in and there were a few traffic stops. It was nearing lunch time and you dreaded it. You pulled over into a parking lot when you saw your phone light up and buzz. You looked at it and saw a few missed calls from Tim but you were busy during that time and a few texts from him. You sighed and debated if you wanted lunch but then your stomach growled and you groaned and put your shop into drive and headed to the usual lunch place. You parked and got out and headed that way you saw Tim and smiled but it quickly faded when a girl came up to him and kissed him. You caught the eye of Angela and Talia when Tim broke apart from the girl, he followed their eyes and saw you and his heart sank. Lunch be damned, you would eat later, you need to talk to Wade. You turned back to your shop and was off before he could even get up or say anything. 

You arrived back at the precinct and parked your shop in the bay and then you were walking into the building and heading to Wade’s office. When you got there you knocked on the door and he looked up and waved you in “Officer Y/L/N, what can I do for you?” He asked and you sighed.

“You know that I’ve been getting offers from the FBI in Quantico, VA specifically from the BAU.” You said and he nodded.

“I do. What is this about?” He asked 

“As much as this pains me to say, I want to take their offer and transfer.” You said and he nodded.

“Are you for sure you want to do this?” He asked and you nodded.

“Very sure, sir.” You said and your phone started buzzing but you ignored it.

“Do you want to get that?” He asked and you shook your head.

“No, sir. It can wait.” You said and he nodded.

“I’ll start putting the request in. I’ll be sad when you leave, you’re one of my best officers. I just want you to know that if you ever want to come back you always have a place right here with us.” He said and you nodded smiling.

“Thank you, sir.” You said and he smiled and you left his office running into Angela.

“Hey, what were you talking to Wade about?” She asked

“I asked for the transfer.” You said and she was shocked.

“Seriously?” She asked and you nodded.

“I need to get out of here.” You said and she nodded.

“Is this about Tim?” She asked and you didn’t say anything but she knew her answer and smiled “I get it. I’m gonna miss you when you go.” She said and she laughed but hugged you.

“I’m gonna miss you too.” You said and then you broke apart and then you saw Tim and he was looking at you but you said nothing and walked back to your shop to continue your shift.

This was the right move for you and your career. Right?

——————————————————————

The end of everyone’s shift was nearing and everyone couldn’t wait to be home. There was something that Sergeant Grey was needing to talk to Tim about and requested him to meet in his office. So that was where he was going now. He knocked on the door and was waved in. “Officer Bradford, I want to talk about you taking the sergeants exam.” Wade said and Tim nodded.

“Yes, I’ve been studying for it.” He said and Wade nodded. Tim was looking at him and then something caught his eye. Something that had your name on it. He focused on it more and saw it was a transfer request to the FBI and his heart sank. He knew that you had been getting offers but didn’t actually think you would take it. They finished their talk but all he could think about was those transfer papers and why he didn’t hear about it from you. Wade dismissed him and he left. As he was leaving, he ran into Talia. 

“You got any plans for tonight?” She asked

“Yea, I have another date.” Tim said not knowing you had heard him and not knowing how bad your heart was breaking. He did have a date but now he wanted to go to your place and find out why you were transferring. The shift ended and everyone got changed and was heading out the precinct he caught you walking with Nolan and laughing with him and his heart pinged with jealousy. Then he noticed that your car wasn’t near his when it normally was. Something was wrong and he was going to find out. 

He did end up going on the date but that transfer request was just burning in his mind. He apologized to Teresa and she asked if she would be seeing him again and he said no and then he was off heading to your apartment. He drove like mad until he reached your place and parked in a parking spot, once he killed the engine he was storming up to the apartment and knocking.

——————————————————————

Knocking is what woke you up and you groaned but got up and grabbed a silk robe and slipped it over your silk nightgown. “Hold on, I’m coming.” You said but the knocking persisted. “Hold on, geez.” You said unlocking the door and opening “What-” You began but saw it was Tim “Tim? It’s late. What are you doing here?” You asked.

“You’re transferring?” He asked in a stern slightly higher pitched voice.

“What are you talking about?” You asked, still half asleep.

“Your transfer request to the FBI. I saw it on Sergeant Wade’s desk. Why?” He asked

“You.” You said

“Me?” He asked

“Yes you. Damn it can’t you see? I’m in love with you! I have been ever since we got out of the academy together. Then you go off and date and it kills me. I know it’s selfish but I couldn’t stand for you to be happy with anyone else but me.” You said and he didn’t say anything instead he crashed his lips into yours and kissed you fiercely. He backed you into the apartment and shut the door and then turned you until your back hit the door. You two broke apart when air was needed. 

“I’ve wanted to do that ever since I met you.” He said and then crashed lips into yours and then he was slipping your silk robe off your shoulders revealing your very revealing nightgown he broke the kiss and looked down “Damn you are sexy.” He said and was tapping your thighs and you jumped up and wrapped your legs around him and then he was taking you both to your bedroom. He gently laid you down and quickly got rid of his shirt. He grabbed the hem of your nightgown and looked at you and you nodded and he was slowly peeling it off of you until it was off revealing you weren’t wearing a bra and that made him moan. Your nipples got hard as rocks when air hit them, he admired them and then he was taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking on it, making you mona. His right hand came up to play with your other breast and his left hand was caressing your side. Once he was satisfied with the treatment of your left breast and nipple, he popped off of it and gave your other breast the same attention. Again, once he was satisfied, he popped off of it and then was standing up and getting rid of his jeans and boxers and his hard length came up and slapped him in the stomach.

“I need you.” You said and he nodded and was crawling back up to you and slowly taking your underwear off and adding it to the pile of clothing already growing. He moved in between your thighs and licked a broad strip up your folds and you jumped but moaned. 

“So wet for me and I hardly did anything.” He said, smirking.

“Need you now.” You moaned and looked as he did it again and bit your clit.

“You got it, Baby.” He said and moved up to where he was now face to face with you and kissed you. You could taste yourself on him and you could feel him at the entrance. He grabbed his cock and looked you in the eyes “You ready? Tell me to stop if you need to.” He asked and you nodded and he pushed himself into you and you both moaned.

“Oh, Tim!” You moaned out not even trying to be quiet, neighbors be damned.

“So tight. It was like you were made for me.” He moaned out and started to thrust in and out of you. He stretched you in all the right places and hit you places that you didn’t know that could be hit. He hit you g-spot just right.

“Faster, Baby. Faster.” You moaned out and he nodded and did as he was told and it just brought another wave of pleasure to you. “So good.” You moaned out and his face went into the crook of his neck and he attacked it with kisses and sucked on it. His arms caged you in and your ankles locked behind him making him go deeper. Your hands went to his shoulder blades and your fingers dug into them and then he hit your g-spot and bit your pulse point. Your nails raked down his back leaving long angry red scratch marks in their wake. He hissed into your neck but he did not let up. “‘M close.” You said and he brought his head up from your neck.

“Me too, Baby. Me too.” He said and that just spurred him on to go faster. One hand went down to your clit and started to rub it, getting you closer to your climax. “Cum with me.” He said and then he pinched your clit and then that rubber band snapped and you came hard. You squeezed him and that made his thrusts irregular and the snapping of his hips into your hips came to a halt as you both moaned and he painted your walls white. 

After you both came down from your high you unlocked your ankles and he fell to the side of you onto his back. You ended up lying on his chest tracing shapes and he cuddled you close to him as he covered you both up. “Don’t leave.” He said and you looked up at him.

“Hmm?” You asked in confusion.

“The transfer, cancel it. You belong here with me. I only went on those dates to get rid of my feelings for you and each time I went on them I wished it was you. I love you and have loved you since we graduated from the academy together. I was too stupid to see what it was doing to you and I’m sorry for that.” He said and you smiled.

“I’ll cancel the request to transfer.” You said 

“I want you to be my girl and my only girl. What I’m asking is will you be my girlfriend?” He asked and you smiled and looked up at him.

“I thought you would never ask. Of course I’ll be your girlfriend.” You said and he smiled “I love you.” You added.

“I love you too.” He said and you both kissed each other and then you resumed your position and you both fell asleep with a smile on your face. 

Both of you were happy and finally got what you wanted and that was each other. 

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[girliism]

girl dad!art hasn’t had to stay home only with your daughters since she’s been born so when he sees you getting ready for a night out he’s confused.

“where on you going?” art stands behind at your vanity. “tashi invited me out and i haven’t been out since the bean was born so.” you shrugged retouching your lipstick. art follows behind you while you pack your purse. “is your mom coming over to watch bean?” you tell him he is and watch him freeze up.

art loves his daughter but watching her alone without you. what if something goes wrong. “baby, you’ll be fine. it’s almost ten and she’s been fed all you need to do is change her then put her to sleep.” you reassure him. “oh and remember to warm up the bottle under hot water. she likes to hold it herself while someone rocks her to sleep.” you kiss your daughter and art goodbye heading out to tashi’s car.

“alright looks like it’s just you and me bean.” art picked her up the two of them smiling at each other his full mouth of teeth and her five tiny ones. three at the bottom two at the top. “so what do you wanna do first.” art pokes at her cheeks. she opens her mouth as if to answer but instead throws up all over arts white t-shirt. “fuc-fudge.” art stops himself from cursing looking at his daughter in disbelief. she just giggles.

back at the club you are a worrying mess. “ok you’ve been setting here for thirty minutes staring at your phone.” tashi plobs down next to you. “this is supposed be girls night out no kids no husbands just girlfriends.” you sigh. “i know i know, but i’ve never left art alone with bean before, and it’s just been me and her her and me for so long. i think i’m having separation anxiety.” you rant. “i don’t even know why i came out it’s not like i can drink yet.” tashi shushes you. “no none of that no mopey mom feelings ok. trust i know how you feel but think about how much when we need this. we have been sitting at home with nothing but shitty diapers and achy boobs. who cares if we can’t drink yet let’s just dance and let loose. art and patrick have everything under control ok.” you nod your head standing up to go hit the dance floor with tashi. this night out is more than deserved. “wait you left lily home alone with patrick?” “course not my moms there. now let’s go.”

“ok bean, daddy’s got a new shirt you’ve got a new diaper now drink this bottle and go to sleep.” art’s seated in the rocking chair handing her the bottle. she immediately chucks it across the room laughing. art goes and picks it up trying again. only for her to throw it again laughing even harder now. art stares at her in shock. “so you think this is a game?”

after 20 minutes of trying to get her to sleep he finally succeeds laying her down in her crib whispering a good night.

art sets down on the couch with a beer flipping through the channels. “god, how does mama do this every night.” he turns on adult swim cause why not and then he hears it. the sound of banging and giggling coming from the baby monitor. picking it up he’s thinking there’s no way that could be bean cause bean is sleeping. but there she was on the monitor screen bouncing in her crib hitting her toy against the rails.

art opens the door to her nursery and is greeted by a very smiley and very awake baby. “you’re not gonna go to sleep are you.” she just laughs making grabbing hands at him.

the next hour art spends playing peak-a-boo, pretended to steal her nose and she still wasn’t a little bit tired. “come on baby cut me some slack here. what does mommy usually do to get you to sleep?” she perks up at the mention of her mother. “ma ma ma ma ma ma.” shes babbles. “yea mama what does mama do? does she read to you or sing you lullaby’s?” your daughter does her little baby dance when art mentions lullaby’s. and art can do that he can sing lullaby’s it’s just he doesn’t know any. so he improvises.

“okay lullaby time. time to sing a lullaby.” art thinks hards but none are popping into his mind. “looks like we’re gonna freestyle this bean.” art clears his throat. “bean bean one year old bean i really need you to go to sleep. sleep sleep is pretty neat especially if you’re a one year old bean.” art looks down at his daughter resting on his shoulder playing with his necklace. assuming the song is working he repeats it three more times before they’re both passed out on the couch.

“thanks for tonight tash i’ll call you in the morning.” you watch her car drive off making your way to your house.

pushing open the front door walking into the living room to be met with a mess of toys and your husband and daughter asleep on the couch. you snap a picture before running your hand through arts hair waking him up. “hey you’re back.” art whispers moving to sit up slowly as not to wake your daughter. “did you have fun?” you nod your head. “looks like you and bean had your own fun.” art stands. “love, she just would not sleep i had to made up a lullaby.” you laugh the both of you walking to her nursery to put her down. you guys watch her sleep for a while before leaving.

“thanks for doing this.” you reach up places a kiss on arts lips. he shrugs. “it’s nothing. watching after her is my responsibility to. i’ll start doing it more so you can go hang out you know start having a life again.” even though it’s truly the bare minimum you still feel happy that he would suggest such a thing. you give him one last kiss before walking off to get ready for the night.

“you look hot by the way.”

(i nicknamed the baby bean for this cause i didn’t wanna keep calling her daughter .)

[hellvst]

OFFSEASON – quinn hughes

featuring ; quinn hughes x fmc (sydney gray)

✮⋆˙ warning & content ; swearing

✮⋆˙ word count ; 3.5k

✮⋆˙ previous chapter – series masterlist – next chapter

a/n ; woohoo chapter three is here! also what's up with the hughes brothers getting hurt within the last 48 hours...hope they're ok :c also thank you all for the recent support, means a lot! uh this isn't proof read, but happy reading <3

CHAPTER THREE

QUINN

The bell above the café door chimed as I stepped inside, the scent of freshly brewed coffee and warm pastries hitting me almost instantly. I wasn’t much of a coffee guy, but I definitely needed it today.

The place was an average size for a café, cozy, slightly packed with students hunched over laptops and the occasional older couples chatting over mugs of tea.

Conor, who trailed behind me with Brock next to him, actually suggested this spot, claiming it to be one of the best coffee in this side of Vancouver. It wasn’t my go-to energizer. Still, after the morning skate we had, I could use something to wake me up.

After coming off a big-time loss, post-practice was always tougher.

If people thought we’d been left off the hook to start the off-season early the following day. They have never been more wrong. So fucking wrong. Just because we were out of the game, did not mean that it was over.

Everyone on the team had been anticipating that text from our coach and told us to “Get your asses in the rink. Now.” Knowing Tocchet, he was ready to give us hell–more specifically Simon and I. And we got it.

The skating and puck handling drills were relentless. I don’t think we’d ever been pushed like that before. They were much more intensive, fast-paced, more difficult targets to hit in the goal post. I tried my best to keep up, which I did, but I would be lying if I had said it didn’t wear me down to the max. My body absolutely felt like I was checked over and over again.

Not the best feeling in the world. Trust me, I would know.

Conor and Brock stood behind me, still joking about the brutal morning skate we had to endure. “Man–I need something strong.” Brock said while his eyes wandered the menu. “I swear, if we have another skate like that, I’m gonna need a new set of legs.”

Conor huffed a laugh. “Better legs wouldn’t make a difference for you, buddy.” 

I smiled while Brock gave him a look, “Whatever–” he waved his hand before looking at the menu again. “So, what do you usually get here Gar?”

“Yeah, Garland. You’re the one who said this place was good.” I muttered.

“Because it is. And you need some caffeine in you, Huggy.” Conor shot back, nudging towards the counter. “Maybe then you’ll stop looking like you wanna skate into oncoming traffic.” 

I ignored him since it was probably true, and not a terrible idea considering what I had to deal with in a week or so.

My mind was stuck on last night’s game and the conversation with Tocchet. I couldn’t get it out of my head. The rest of the team didn’t hound me after figuring out what transpired in the coach’s office between me and Simon. They knew not to press me on it–I was glad that they did as I was already in a bad mood. I doubt that Simon kept his mouth shut about it to some of the guys, ranting to them per usual. 

Conor and Brock continued on with their banter. I was only half-listening as I stared at the menu, pretending I knew what any of the drinks meant or how–

I blinked and before I could react, as soon as I took a step forward, the person in front of me turned around–colliding straight into me. I watched as the girl’s cup tipped forward, brown coffee spilling all over her grey hoodie.

“Fuck!” She let out a sharp and frustrated voice under her breath.

My stomach dropped. This wasn’t good.

I staggered back, looking at her. The girl in front of me–who I had just completely steamrolled–stood frozen and appalled, coffee staining the front of her hoodie. The brown liquid spreads rapidly across the cotton like wildfire. 

Her jaw clenched, a mix of annoyance and disbelief flashing across her face.

“Shit, I–” I started, but the words barely left my mouth before she snapped her gaze at me, clearly about to let me have it–then she froze.

I watched her expression shift, something unreadable flickering her chestnut-colored eyes. Her pupils softened, but still held that glare. Her gaze swept over me in a quick assessment. I could almost see the wheels turning in her head.

Oh, she was pissed.

Looking at her, she was strikingly beautiful. Dark brown hair tied in a ponytail, long eyelashes, very light freckles dotting her nose across her tan skin, the kind of natural beauty that didn’t need any effort. But it was the look in her eyes that got me–like she had already sized me up and made her judgement. 

And from the way her mouth pressed into a tight line, it wasn’t in my favour at all.

“I, uh–” I looked at the sight in front of me, wincing at the view. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

Shit. Not the best first impression.

I grabbed napkins from the counter and held them out to her. She took them but didn’t seem all that convinced they would be much help. I watched as she tried to dab at the stain, her expression growing more annoyed by the second. Yeah, the napkins weren’t much help.

It was only right that I offered to buy her another coffee–although, I figured it would make matters worse–so I opted to at least buy her a new hoodie. 

She shook her head to refuse, still working with the napkins. What she said next had caught me completely off guard. “I don’t need anything from an NHL player, alright–”

Then she stopped, her own words registering, her eyes widened slightly.

My brows furrowed. “So, you know who I am?”

Maybe she was a Canucks fan.

She met my gaze again, unimpressed. “Yes, I do.” The tone in her voice made it clear that wasn’t exactly a compliment. 

Alright, maybe she wasn’t a fan.

That surprised me. Most of the time, when someone recognized me, there was some level of excitement. But her? She didn’t seem impressed in the slightest. If anything, she looked more annoyed and pissed than before.

A strange mix of amusement and curiosity flickered in my chest. What the hell, that was new.

“Can I at least get your name or number?” I asked, then immediately realized how that sounded. “To replace your hoodie or pay for dry cleaning, anything to fix what I caused.” 

I had no other intentions behind that statement. For all I cared, I just wanted to make a things right. Not just because there were now a couple of eyes watching us, but it wouldn’t be fair for her to leave this place without anything in return to help her. Then I’d feel like a complete asshole. 

Sure. She was pretty. Beyond her looks–and her built up frustration–she carried herself with grace and poise. Even in a stained-hoodie, black leggings, and white sneakers, there was still that elegance to her like no one else had–you just had to be born with it.

Wait. I couldn’t be like this.

“I’m not making you buy me a hoodie. I can take care of this–” she gestured down. “–myself. So, I think I’ll respectfully pass up on that offer of yours, but thank you though.”

Before I could say anything else, she turned away.

Don’t look like an asshole. Don’t look like an asshole.

On instinct, I reached out, lightly catching the material of her sleeve. “Hey look, I’d feel really bad if I left here without making it up to you.”

“Oh, really?” She paused, raising a brow at me.

Of course I’d feel terrible. She could have gone off on me in front of the entire shop, but she hadn’t. And now I was weirdly determined to fix it.

But she smirked slightly. “I think I’ll survive without your help, but thanks.”

I stared, absolutely stunned, but a tinge in my lips dared to curve. And just like that, she walked off, returning to her table with another woman–most likely her friend–before I could even respond.

Well that caught me off guard. I don’t think I’ve ever been let down like that. Strangely enough, I was not bothered by it, but just fascinated. It’s not everyday I get these kinds of interactions.

The sound of laughter brought me back, and I turned to see Brock and Conor watching the whole thing unfold with shit-eating grins plastered on their faces. I forgot they were here for a moment.

“Dude,” Brock said, he shook his head in disbelief. “Did we just witness the Quinn Hughes talk to a girl?”

Conor was quick to add, whistled lowly. “Not just talk. Get rejected.”

I rolled my eyes. It wasn’t a complete rejection, noting she ‘respectfully’ declined.

“She didn’t reject me.”

“She literally just rejected you,” Brock deadpanned.

“She didn’t even let you buy her a new hoodie,” Conor mentioned the obvious, also shaking his head in mock sympathy. “That’s tough, Huggy.”

“Maybe she saw last night’s game and watched us play like shit and–”

“Shut up.” I said under my breath. 

Given she knew I was an NHL player, there was no doubt that she knew about last night’s game. I wondered if she had even watched it at all. Better if she hadn’t, the sight of us losing on our home turf was not only embarrassing but rather disappointing.

If I were a fan, I would be feeling anything but happy. That realization crashed down on me a lot more than I thought it would.

Brock’s laugh brought me out of my short trance. “No, no, this is big,” he said, grinning like an idiot. “Quinn, do we need to have the talk? You know, the one where we tell you how to approach women like a normal person?”

“You two are the worst.” I wasn’t completely paying attention to them. 

My gaze drifted towards the exit, just in time to watch the same coffee-stained hoodie girl leave the cafe alongside her friend. 

I didn’t know who she was. I didn’t even get her name. But, there was that feeling down my gut that told me this wouldn’t be the last time I was going to see her. 

And usually, my gut-feeling has always been right.

I had two weeks of freedom. A glorious, responsibility-free stretch of time before I had to start this personal hell.

And I spent it the only way I knew how: watching hockey, reading new books that I got a few weeks ago, hanging out with some of the guys, and watching more hockey. 

It was the perfect balance of nothing and everything. Until now. Until this.

I pulled into the Lumé Wellness parking lot, stared at the building through my windshield like it was about to swallow me whole. The building itself was tucked in the center of downtown Vancouver, which was near the Rogers Arena. The area around the studio wasn’t too busy or lively, I didn’t have to worry about the media at this time.

If I could put this mandatory cross-training off another week, I would have in a heartbeat just to prepare myself for this moment. Hell, I would have put it off forever if it meant I wouldn’t have to do this with Simon.

But no, that wasn’t an option, not if I wanted to come back at my best instead of my ass being glued to the bench next season.

My fingers drummed against the steering wheel. I was about to hop out when I glanced around the lot and realized that Simon’s car wasn’t here yet. I took the liberty of keeping track of his cars whenever I could, just to avoid bumping into that prick at random places. 

I was expecting him to be here, especially considering his whole ‘I’m better than you, I know everything, and I make the shots you would have   missed’ complex. But, who was I kidding? Simon didn’t want to be here, and so had I. If he didn’t show, then I wouldn’t blame him. Since he wasn’t here yet, that either meant he was running late on purpose or–worse–he was about to show up here with his sister.

The hoodie girl at the café popped into my head before I could dread what was about to come. 

The thoughts of our interaction weeks ago lingered in my head, which was strange, because usually I didn’t dwell on these things. But the reminiscence of spilling coffee all over her and interacting with her, it had been itching at my brain ever since.

She looked so annoyed, so unimpressed. 

It also didn’t help the fact she knew exactly who I was. I had no idea if she hated me or not, but she probably did now. Not that I cared what people thought of me on or off the ice–except, for some reason, with her, I kind of did.

I shook the thoughts out of my head, got out of my car and walked towards the entrance of the studio, pushing open the glass door. 

The foyer was empty, which was unexpected. I came prepared to see a lot of people here, but it was quiet–too quiet. The scent of essential oils idled in the air, a mix of eucalyptus and lavender, almost enough to make me forget how much I didn’t want to be here. 

I made my way past the front desk, my gaze roaming over the sleek, modern with contemporary wooden interior. Soft lighting, smooth hardwood floor, and floor-to-ceiling arched mirrors in every studio room.

Great. That meant I’d have to watch myself struggle through whatever the hell was about to happen here.

As I wandered further into the hallway, I passed more studio rooms, each one either empty or locked. Then, as I turned the corner, I caught the faint sound of music–Michael Jackson.

I slowed my steps, glancing toward the slightly opened door at the end of the hall. Inside, a single figure was stretching in front of the mirrors.

My feet stopped moving. It took me half a second to realize why.

No. There’s no way.

The café girl. 

She looked the same as the last I saw her. Brown chestnut eyes, her hair in a braid instead of a loose ponytail. Rather than a stained grey hoodie, she wore black yoga pants and a matching fitted jacket. 

I traced her face through the reflection of the mirrors, watched as she moved fluidly, adjusting her position with practiced ease. She was focused, lost in whatever she was doing–until she wasn’t. 

I hadn’t realized how long I was like this for. She must have sensed me, because she suddenly straightened up, her eyes snapping to mine through the mirror. 

“What are you doing here?” She turned to face me, looking just as surprised.

I blinked, clearing my throat. “I could ask you the same thing.”

Her lips quirked, but it wasn’t a smile. “I asked first.”

Okay. Fair enough.

“I, uh–” I scratched the back of my nape. “I have a session today.”

She tilted her head in amusement, probably found it hard to believe that me, Quinn Hughes, would be at a Pilates studio. I also found that reality hard to grasp around my head. “I’m sure you don’t see a lot of guys here, right?” 

“Well, believe it or not Hughes, I see a few male athletes here and there for Pilates. So, don't go around thinking you’re all that special now.”

Great, it looks like she hadn’t forgotten me after all. I couldn’t tell if I should be happy or worried about that. “So, you remembered me.”

She only nodded, but not in a way that meant it was a good thing. “Well, duh. You’re the reason I had to throw my favourite hoodie in the bin.”

I saw that coming, there was no way she would look at me any other way than this. I wasn’t just an ‘NHL hockey player’ in her eyes, instead I was now dubbed ‘the guy who ruined her clothes’.

“I offered to buy you another one or pay to get it cleaned–”

“I’m just kidding,” she chuckled, ever so lightly, waving her hand. “It’s a good thing washing machines and laundry detergent exist. It took a few cycles and extra scrubbing to get it out, but it’s all gone–good as new.”

That weight I have been carrying on my shoulders for the past two weeks, instantly lifted after hearing that. So, she didn’t hate me in the end. I dodged a bullet there.

“Oh, good–” I huffed out in relief. “I am sorry about that, again.”

All she did was smile. Who knew that a single smile would ignite something beneath my chest. There was that feeling from the cafe again. And I wasn’t sure why it only kept happening around her.

Taking that she hasn’t kicked me out yet, I took a few strides into the room, inviting myself in. I have never been to any Pilates studios, so I have never seen what was inside one–although, I had a good idea of it. 

One side of the walls were large arched floor to ceiling mirrors, the opposite side were windows that overlooked outside, multiple pilates reformers in one neat row, and the other end were laid out yoga mats and more equipment.

“Do you come here often?” I asked.

I figured she was in her twenties, but I could be wrong. I guessed since most Pilates’ clients were either young adults or middle-aged. I did some research prior to coming, and I would know a bit about it since my mom picked it up a couple years ago.

She gave me a vague shrug, “Something like that.”

I exhaled, shifting my weight as I walked around the reformers, taking in my surroundings, still keeping my distance from her. “I should’ve known you did Pilates.”

I recalled from the café; she stood so close that I noticed the small flecks of sweat glisten against her skin. She most likely earned them after being here.

Her brows lifted, “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know, you seem like you’d be good at it.”

Now that I realized it, I sounded awkward just then. I mentally face-palmed myself for my ‘game’–more like lack thereof. Maybe that talk Brock and Garly were referring to on that day might have come in handy for times like these. I sound like a fucking idiot in front of her.

But, I wasn’t trying to flirt with her. This was simply to make conversation. That’s all.

She stared at me for a moment before she shook her head with a laugh–like she wasn’t sure if I was complimenting her or just making shit up.

I was about to say something else, anything to save me from my impending doom, when Michael Jackson’s voice blasted through the speakers again. I recognized the song immediately.

“Beat It?” I said, more to myself than anything. “Solid choice.”

She turned her back to her bag on the floor, kneeling to grab her water bottle. She glanced at me, amused. “Yeah, you a fan?”

“I know good music when I hear it.”

That earned me a small smirk on her pink tinted lips. 

I didn’t know why, but I felt the need to keep talking to her. I wasn’t usually like this–I didn’t go out of my way to make conversation, unless I had to–but, especially not with strangers. But, my mouth was already moving before I could think about stopping.

“What's your name? You know, since it's only fair because you know mine.” I asked, looking at all the equipment surrounding us.

She exhaled a short scoff, “You ask a lot of questions.”

“You’re not answering them.” 

She twisted the cap off her bottle and took a sip, like she was debating on whether or not she wanted to humor me. Before she said anything, though, another voice cut through the air.

“Let’s not waste time and get on with it.”

I knew that voice all too well. Fuck.

I turned my head just as Simon strolled into the room like he owned the place, then tossed his bag to the side by the wall.

The café girl–her entire posture shifted. She walked over to the speaker where the music came from and turned down the volume. Her head snapped toward him, her expression tight. “Took you long enough. Didn’t I tell you to get here earlier because of traffic in the area?”

Simon barely looked fazed. “Turns out you were right after all. There was traffic. Duly noted for next time.”

My stomach twisted, and I wasn’t sure why. Simon has a wife, I knew that, but it did put me on edge to see her and Simon talk to one another. They spoke casually, so effortlessly, like they had known each other forever. Not that I was jealous or anything.

It seemed like I was invisible and there was a wall between myself and the two of them. 

I cleared my throat and interrupted their conversation. “Do you guys know each other?”

Simon shot me a look, one of those ‘are you the dumbest person on earth?’ expressions he was always good at–towards me specifically.

“No shit, Hughes,” he deadpanned. Then he jerked his chin toward her. “She’s my sister.”

all rights reserved © 2025 hellvst. please do not copy, translate, or modify my works in any platform.

[jkbx-arinadal02]

I am back with more Trolls Band Together content! (I’m not turning my tumblr into a trolls blog I swear—) [also, I ain’t gonna draw the details on Ritz’s jumpsuit, I’ve got a neurodivergent brain that refuses to add that sort of detail (but god forbid I miss a shadow or a lineart detail lmao)]

Is it weird for me to ship a rare pair like Veneer x Kid Ritz? Maybe, maybe not, idk. I’m starved for content tho, that’s a thing.

Anyway, have these lovestruck idiots goofing off and flirting, probably in some empty hallway in Ritz’s studio or something. Oh and this doodle of the off-screen (headcanon) reaction from Ritz to Veneer during the interview:

(Ignore the chairs’ inconsistent perspective)

I love Ritz so much. Did yOU KNOW HIS VA IN SPANISH IS GENDERFLUID??!!! LIKE ME FR OMG HE/THEY NB RITZ HERE WE GOOO—!!!!!!

Ahem. Anyway. Got a few other works on these two. Mostly headcanons. I’ll be releasing them in the following days/weeks. So… yeah. I’m a Ritz stan. And a Veneer stan too. But mostly Ritz.

Have this last doodle, but this time it’s just the pop-star twins:

Ok bye!

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Ok ok last thing, I need to get this out of my system, since I’ve watched to movie a few more times since last post. Have you noticed the amount of *NSYNC references in the movie’s OST?? Like, the last part of Vacay Island’s song is literally the Sailing chorus, and the BroZone’s Back’s beginning is I Want You Back, which sure it’s a The Jackson 5 song but *NSYNC did a cover for it! It’s not just the in-sync/*NSYNC joke John Dory makes at the end of the movie, it’s all over the movie!! I’ve probably missed some other smaller detail, but gosh I love that they made an effort to include more *NSYNC than just a joke and a new song.

Ok I’ll stop myself before I turn this into a longer rant than it already is.

Bye for real this time lol _(:3 」∠)_

[ceedak]

can we get a ceedak timeline 🤔 i feel like there’s a lot idk abt them fr 😭😭

yes u absolutely can i could talk about them forever and ever 🥳🥳

disclaimer: i do wanna say this is just from what i’ve gathered because i didn’t become super fixated on nfl rpf until last year </3 one day i’ll do a legit deep dive like an insane person and update with all my findings…

second disclaimer: im delusional yes and a part of me straight up thinks that they’ve had to have hooked up at least once bc i love to psychoanalyze people i'll never meet but i’ll make sure to say when i’m being fully delusional KSDJFHSKDS

putting it under a read more because i’m sure it’ll be much longer than necessary

also i will reblog this and add links to some videos!!

SO before i get into like when ceedee was drafted and such i wanna talk about how invisible string coded they are because i love shit like this sm

both were born in louisiana only about an hour and a half apart from each other until ceedee moved to texas as a child after hurricane katrina hit (he’s said he’s moved around a couple of times as kid in interviews before)

dak went to mississippi st. in college and ceedee’s dream school was LSU (rival colleges… 🚬) but he had committed to oklahoma (also they wouldn’t have met or anything in college anyway because dak was drafted in 2016 and ceedee started playing in college in 2017 but i digress it makes my brain light up anyway lol)

when dak was drafted he was projected to go like late second round/early third round of the draft but 🗿 he got into some trouble beforehand (driving under the influence) and ended up falling to the 4th round (after the front office kept trying to trade up to get a different backup QB)

dak also had to compete for his spot as a backup and was named starter after romo was injured in 2016. this was dak’s rookie year and he led them to the playoffs - almost to the nfc championship game. after this he basically took the job from romo

okay so FAST FORWARD to the 2020 draft. ceedee was projected to go top 10 and he fell all the way to SEVENTEEN so the cowboys were able to grab him then (drafted bpa instead of for need)

idk all of this is just very <333 to me that so many things managed to fall into place just right and they managed to find each other on the same team out of THIRTY TWO teams it makes me weeeep 🤧 also just something else that i think is very cute because i truly am a little insane: ceedee was born april 8th and dak’s jersey number is 4 and ceedee’s is 88 so 4/8 ALL THE DOTS CONNECT SOMEHOW…

so we’ll go through a teensy bit about dak i suppose and then ceedee this won’t be too long

dak: baby of his family and has two brothers. his parents divorced when he was little and he was very close with his mom before she passed away in 2013 (he’s started a foundation since then for cancer research and suicide prevention/mental health). went to mississippi st, cowboys starter his rookie year, etc etc. he also lost his brother to suicide in 2020 and he’s said before he feels a responsibility to live on and carry his and his mom’s legacy throughout his life. he’s like suuuuuper underrated in the league i feel and a lot of cowboys fans are complete assholes to him all the time it makes me so mad cos they could literally never ever make me hate him - he makes me so weepy 😭😭😭 umm but yeah he’s donated a ton to children cancer funds too and donated during BLM protests and things like that - he won the walter payton man of the year award. he just had a baby and got engaged in october (remember for the yaoi LOL) ok im gonna stop here cause i don’t wanna rant too much lol

btw i know what you are dak prescott:

ceedee: MY BELOVED… my favorite my absolute favorite. he has two brothers and two little sisters. idk if he’s the eldest or not tbh i see different things all the time that he’s the second eldest whatever not that important i guess. so blah blah college blah blah - he wears 88 on the team because that’s considered really special to the cowboys franchise and is reserved for elite receivers. idk he’s the most beautiful man ever and he does a lot of donating too - i know he participates in a lot of football youth camps a lot to help kids out and he likes to provide meals to families around thanksgiving and christmas time. a loooot of cowboys fans have criticized him for not being that much of a leader and pouting a lot on the sidelines (which he does sometimes… my mimir) but i think this last season he’s reaaaaallyyy taken a step into more of a leader type position especially with dak being out and he’s proven himself more than enough. he LOOOVES spending money on clothes it’s so cute… gonna be a sad day when the class war happens and i’m faced with cedarian lamb. ummm i also legit think he’s gay and closet is made of glass but whatever

see this is the problem i never stfu but okay CEEDAK what you actually asked about ksjdksjdks

PRE-2020 SEASON: this was before ceedee was drafted (some stuff i found last night) and this is what i mean when i say i haven’t done like a deep dive into these things bc i’m sure there’s soo much more but this kinda gives the general vibes

“I was like a little kid at the playground,” CeeDee tells us. (on the first time Dak texted him to invite him over to his house, says it was surreal.) august 21, 2020

and i actually hunted the exact clip down where he says this: (will reblog with link - skip to 4:25 he talks for like a minute or so - sorry the audio’s funky it’s because of covid so all the reporters weren’t in the room i’m pretty sure) DELUSIONS: you can’t tell me ceedee wasn’t nursing a crush here idgaf

2020 SEASON:

ceedee’s rookie year

personal stuff happened with dak before the season started - this is when he lost his brother to suicide and he’s been really outspoken about mental health since then. on top of that he broke his ankle during week 5 of the season (and tried to snap it back into place by himself on the field). dak was performing on like a sort of insane level before the injury happened so </3 what could’ve been and all that… the what-ifs of it all… so that year they weren’t able to play together as much

Oct 11, 2020: “CeeDee Lamb said he texted Dak as soon as he got out of the shower. Thanked him for everything he’s done for him and they were gonna hold it down for him until they see him on the field again.” (after the game dak got hurt in)

POST 2020 SEASON:

"He came back from his second surgery about two months ago so he’s walking around, rehabbing, doing everything right," Lamb said Wednesday. "It’s great to see, especially when you seen him go down. You saw the look in his eyes and you saw how sad he was and how much this game meant to him. Just to see him smiling again, happy again, being with his guys is a great deal."

"First day he kind of caught me by surprise with his arm strength," Lamb said. "He knows the little nuances of the game to be better. He makes it easy to follow him, if you will."

2021 SEASON

ceedee’s second year, he was in a WR room with amari cooper (currently on the bills) and michael gallup (now retired) blah blah season happened whateverrrr but AFTER this season the front office (i’ll always be mad about this lol) traded amari to the browns for a 5th round pick 💀 hence THIS!!! which i consider the #Real beginning of ceedak:

“Dak Prescott asked for CeeDee Lamb’s locker to be moved next to his: ‘My two other locker mates left, so I was a little lonely. With him being young, hopefully he’s my WR until I’m done playing. Just bring him closer, more conversations, he’s right there to talk and communicate.’”

said he had no doubt ceedee could become his "main guy"

here’s some fun stuff i found from 2021 too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3hCmIZN-YI&ab_channel=DallasCowboys (7 min mark this was after a game winning td in overtime against new england)

“CeeDee Lamb on game-winning 35-yard TD: ‘It was the best feeling ever, honestly.’”

2022 SEASON:

https://youtu.be/T73xGDsFiVo?si=Qn_dwK1yfnHPiMya talks about dak here at 7:50 “all i need is him” 🤧

he’s actually said this a couple times lol he says shit like “we’re all we got” about each other - he’s said it this most recent season too so <3

dak injured his thumb this season though so he was out for like 7 weeks i think i can’t remember off the top of my head lol but again another season where they didn’t get to play much together

fun 2022 stuff:

“Last year, Cowboys caked Dak in the face on the field for his 28th birthday. On his 29th today, CeeDee told us they planned to do the same in the locker room. Hoped Dak would think he was safe after no cake on the field, and then locker room ambush.”

“Scene here: Dak was talking to us at his locker. CeeDee walks past wearing metallic red lens sunglasses indoors and eating chicken. Says the key to following up ass-kicking is ‘keep kicking ass.’”

“Dak on CeeDee’s vibe: Yeah, cool as hell - says ‘keep kicking ass’ while he’s eating.”

“Dak Prescott walked by during our interview with CeeDee Lamb - QB1: CeeDee’s that dude! / WR1: Happy birthday, Dak!”

link posted in reblog: skip to 2:30 he almost says he loves dak lol also very

2023: THE SEASON OF CEEDAK!!!

https://youtu.be/7_WRIzb5fPA?si=R0TETc2qtW0IOP5P the infamous "was gonna take him out for dinner tonight" clip is from this aka what got me hooked on ceedak lol (this interview is just so good in general i love ceedee sm - def recommend watching! such a nice look at his personality)

this is where my delusions take over i deadass think they hooked up at LEAST once around this time lol maybe end of 2022 season maybe early 2023 season IDK but anyway during this year the offense was soo wack for a couple of weeks until the bye week and then ceedee made some noise about it bc he felt like he wasn't being as utilized (which is true i'm so serious mccarthy was SUCH an annoying coach lol) but quotes:

“Cowboys WR CeeDee Lamb said Dak Prescott approached him and said: ‘If you have a problem with anything, just come up to me and we’ll talk about it.’ Lamb said he and Dak worked on getting on the same page their first day back in the building after the 49ers loss.”

Dak: ‘I mean, a frustrated player that feels like we all could’ve done better and feels like he can change the game, I understand it. I really do. So it’s in the sense of just communicating with him… CeeDee is a guy that I’ll never lose confidence in and trust who he is and understand why he’s frustrated. But at the end of the day, he’s a leader. It’s about him leading other guys and picking other guys up and him just trying to make sure we’re all pushing our best. That’s where the frustration is, we have to remove that. And he will. He’s a young player that’s growing by the day and he’ll only get better. He’ll be better because of that.’

but after they switched the offense around dak and ceedee went craaaazyyy - ceedee was named all pro, dak was in mvp talks (should have won it to be honest i'm sorry lamar i still love you <3) but 2023 cowboys will seriously haunt me forever lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sudQu72KDXs&ab_channel=NFLonFOX

DELUSIONS: dak announced he was having a baby like two weeks after this game SO let’s just say…. maybe…. perhaps… they were hooking up… ceedee probably knew before the public did - not saying that’s why he seems a little upset at the beginning of this clip cause who knows 🤷‍♀️ like i said DELUSIONS but… i can’t help it when the timeline timelines don’t shoot the messenger

also i do wanna mention that dak’s fiance follows a loooot of cowboys players on ig but she does not follow ceedee and he doesn’t follow her AGAIN just delusions…. but… iykyk 👀

sooo they were poppin off in 2023, ceedee was breaking records and shit, won nfc east, went to the playoffs and then i DON'T wanna talk about it i have my theories about wtf happened during that playoffs packers game but 💀💀 anyway the offseason before the 2024 season was genuinely the worst of my life because BOTH ceedee and dak had to get extended and jerry jones (who is the worst) waited until after training camp to get them both signed lol so ceedee wasn't participating in training camp at all which affected them in the beginning of the 2024 season which was a complete mess A MESS but here's some fun stuff after ceedee signed his extension/during that offseason

“Remarkable. That’s who CeeDee Lamb is. … He’s special. He’s just getting going and as long as I’m here, he’s gonna keep stacking these records year after year.”

“CeeDee Lamb strongly defended Dak: No one deserves the criticism that he gets. The way he gets talked about is crazy.”

2023-2024 OFFSEASON:

worst months of my life lol ceedee was holding out for his new contract and didn’t get it signed until like… august i think? anddd dak was signed fucking three hours before kickoff the first week of the season lol i HATE this front office

but here’s some fun quotes after ceedee was signed:

CeeDee Lamb: “We were texting quite a bit. Obviously I missed being out there, competing with him… for is being so in tune together and all it takes is one text message or one conversation, one phone call… for us both… having the same passion for the game, same love for the game. I want what’s best for Dak and vice versa. Shout out to him too for getting that bag, too. We’ll be together for the next five years.”

Dak Prescott on CeeDee Lamb’s added muscle weight: “He’s wearing a lot more sleeveless shirts. As long as the speed is there, and it looks like it is (in practice), I’m fine with however big he is.” LMAO??

Dak Prescott: “I peeped the biceps. He’s wearing more sleeveless shirts now.”

Dak Prescott recently on CeeDee Lamb: “He’s talented. He works hard. He’s special. He’s the best receiver in the league for a reason. And I’ve seen Instagram videos. I know you’ve seen him. He’s working. And he works hard. So I have no angst, no worries about when he gets here that we’re not going to pick up where we left off. And when you're a stud like that and you’re smart like he is and you’re good at communicating, that makes that process that much easier. So it’s not like we’ve got to build something. We’ve got that. We just got to reignite it when he gets here.”

on how much ceedee worked with dak at the field at dak’s house even though he was staying away from the team: “Often. I would say quite often. Anytime that I’m back in town, and he’s obviously back here, I hit him and then… it’s very… good having a rich quarterback.”

Dak Prescott’s thoughts on the tandem of him and CeeDee Lamb being compared to legendary duos like Joe Montana and Jerry Rice: “I think that says a lot just cause we’ve only done it for four years and you just named some of those duos that did it for their whole careers. But then again, I feel like we can be better than all of them… so love the comparisons, they sound good and all, but hopefully one day people are saying these next duos and next tandems can be like me and CeeDee.” (i will kms over this quote one day)

i’m sure there’s things i’m missing but this is already sooooo long lol so

2024 SEASON:

WORST SEASON OF MY LIFEEEEEE / ceedak angst era

the front office set this team up to fail and let like a ton of players walk in the offseason, didn’t use free agency, injury riddled team, had a bunch of rookies starting but anyway just gonna go game by game really quick because this is when i was locked tf in and it’s more recent so ?? more detail seems alright when it's necessary also i wrote so many half-finished post-game fics this season to cope with how terrible it was i’m cryingggg it was insane

cowboys vs browns: i was at this game :) good game they won

cowboys vs saints: blocked this game out actually!!!

cowboys vs ravens: fake ass comeback also the game ceedee CRASHED OUT on the field lskdjslkdjsskjdsk which is so funny bc i literally love lamar sm and was so excited to watch but… my players wanted to make me MISERABLE

this was said a day or two after the game by ceedee (bc he fumbled during it and then wasn't there for post game media people andddd was yelling at dak on the sideline 🗿)

“Our relationship has, if anything, gotten stronger. Don’t let what, what’s out there fool you. We’re brothers to the end. We know that we all we got, and I tip my hat off to him. I got the utmost respect for him.”

“So with that being said, everything is gonna come out - the energy, the passion, the love, the fight - and then we’ll make up in the end. So no, no craziness now. Don’t.”

dak also said something about his rhythm with ceedee being a “rare feeling” which… okay internalized homophobia but i CANNOT for the life of me find the actual quote i’ve searched through my gallery but it’s not there </3 if i find i’ll add later (i’m pretty sure it was after the baltimore game but i can’t remember)

cowboys vs giants: this is a tremicah game no need to mention ceedak idt - nasty ugly win but whatever

cowboys vs steelers: dak prescott giving me a heart attack 12 fucking times during this game

cowboys vs lions: don’t wanna talk about it! i’m a hater! always will be sorry!!! ben johnson statpadding on my sorry ass terrible team i was SICKKKKK

BYE WEEK: my trials and tribulations…. my nfl rpf…

CeeDee Lamb on getting in some extra work with Dak Prescott during their bye week: “We love our bye weeks. We took advantage of it. We got right. We used every opportunity to get better and I feel like it’s going to show. We got on some routes, and obviously the timing is everything. We needed that.”

now ummm this is the week dak got engaged so. which is really funny because after the announcement post on ig ceedee went GHOST on instagramksjdjks like i went back to check because i’m crazy (these are delusions btw) and he had been posting like once a week… maybe once every two weeks PRETTY consistently like for at least a couple of months but after the engagement happened there was pretty much nothing for like… almost two months?? ummm which AGAIN i’m not saying anything i’m not insinuating anything buuuuut…… buuuuut….. also it’s really fucking funny because in this same interview ceedee dropped that he left the country during the bye week but didn’t post it on socials at all so i’m like ohhhh… you’re coping w the engagement… i see LMAO anyway

cowboys vs 49ers: sigghhhh….. lets get into it

SO this was a loss but two ceedee touchdowns.. i’m leaving with something!!!

“Yeah, I found CeeDee,” Prescott said when reflecting back on Lamb’s breakout in the Bay Area. “He did a good job of getting open, running all of his routes hard no matter where he was, if he was the one or if he was backside on a concept. Loved his intentionality in the game. He kind of said something like that to me during the game, midway through the game, like ‘Yeah, we’re back.’ And that was before, I think, his two touchdown drives. So just him even playing with that confidence, communicating that, it gives me a lot of confidence.”

super hopeful right maybe they'll really connect again and things'll be fine LOL

cowboys vs falcons: worst game ever dak tore his hamstring off the bone like a fucking idiot and ceedee sprained his AC joint and would not stop going back out into the game i was ready to kms

cowboys vs eagles: not talking about it idc

cowboys vs texans: loss because ofc but whatever ceedak hugged before the game tho so i didn’t gaf about the loss - i can’t find the clip rn but if i do i’ll post it

cowboys vs commanders: this is when i accepted they were tanking and then they decided to just be elite for whatever reason lol made me so happy though ceedee was so happy <33

cowboys vs giants: whatever

cowboys vs bengals: worst fucking game of my life nothing to do with ceedak but one of my other fave player’s (i also ship him w ceedee idgaf) knee EXPLODED so that was so much fun to deal with

cowboys vs panthers: i still can’t believe bryce young decided to forget how to play football in this game im crying

cowboys vs tampa: again they just wanted to be elite for whatever reason

cowboys vs: eagles: don’t wanna talk about it idc

cowboys vs commanders: WHATEVER thanks for the 12th draft pick ashton jeanty you will be a cowboy

SO. that’s basically where everything's at lmfao worst season EVERRRRR with ceedak ANGST um but yeah hopefully 2025 will be better... i’m cautiously optimistic because their old coach is finally FINALLY gone because he was really limiting them and their ability you know? 2023 season was amazing and then 2024 started and it was like… mccarthy just reverted back to his old scheme that wasn’t working. it was really annoyingksdkskds. but the new coach (despite it seeming like a silly hire) had a decent press conference (that ceedee didn’t attend bc he was playing around in paris LOL) andddd he seems to be setting up a nice staff around him so hopefully hopefully hopefully 2025 is a lot better and ceedak will save me again… can’t wait for training camp omg

anyway if u read all this i’m SO sorry i hope it’s… expansive enough?? i wanted to include kind of how it’s been through the years and i had a lot more to add for 2023/2024 because that’s when my adhd was just like Yea let’s hyperfixate on this so. been stuck here for awhile and i’ll probably be stuck here for years and years and years <3

[demonsslayersstuff]

Memory Lane (past Erwin Smith x Reader, Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Description: A fic about how the reader copes and moves on from death. Past Erwin x Reader and Levi x Reader as reader moves on. (More of a hinted Levi x Reader, it’s not really the focus) This was inspired by the AOT song Memory Lane. I tried to follow the canon timeline as much as possible with a little bit of creative freedom.

Warnings: Angst, grief, anger, depression, Character Death, comfort, moving on, mentions of injuries.

A/N: Firstly I am so sorry I have not posted in a while. Life has just been so busy. I will keep posting fics, but it’s gonna be some lengthy time in between posting. Anyway….I wanted to try writing a bit more of an angsty and slow burn fic, so keep in mind it is a bit depressing at times, but I did end it on a lighter note. Also I’m sorry if it’s not the best. I tried, but the ending isn’t the best. Enjoy and thank you for the support!

Can’t you see how much we lost? Thousands now have gone. But still we’re alive, now where we wanna be?

The vast expanse of blue is all that your brain can comprehend at the moment. In all of your wildest dreams, you had never imagined that you'd be standing here, seeing the "ocean" in person. You had never doubted your partners endless rants about there being an outside world, but now that you were seeing it, it was hard for you to fully grasp. So as the others race to rip their shoes off, the need to feel the water against their skin their top priority, you remain rooted in a complete standstill. The longer you stared, the more you came to realize how color of the water matched the hue of Erwin's eyes nearly perfectly, knocking the wind out of you. He’d never gotten to see this sight, races through your mind before you can stop it. Being in the Survey Corps you’d know death, experienced it first hand countless times, had managed to keep it together. But his death was different. It was like a tidal wave of grief, just as you thought you were getting better, the strong current sucked you backed in, drowning you. You were unable to prevent the salty tears that had slipped down your cheek, but you didn’t want to cry, not here, not now. So you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, hoping the pain would pass quickly.

“You ok?”, comes a familiar voice, one that you hadn’t heard in the past few weeks. You open your eyes, turning left to look down briefly at Levi. “I’m ok”, you mutter, unable to disguise the venom your voice held. You knew deep down Erwin’s death was not his fault, but you still hadn’t forgiven him for giving Armin the Titan serum. You honestly weren’t sure you ever will. An uneasy silence falls between the two of you, both unsure of what to say. So, the two of you simply stand silently, watching as the others goof off in the water for a time. The sun begins to sink below the horizon when you finally break the silence. “He never got to see this”, you say nearly inaudibly, but you know Levi heard you. You look into his steely blue eyes for a moment before stepping away, heading back towards the horses. “I’m sorry”, Levi says, much too quietly as the sunlight begins to slip away.

I’ll be here waiting for you, hope you find the way. Our home, sweetest home, you will come back to me.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?”, Hange asks, eyeing you carefully. “No one would blame you if you wanted to sit this one out”, they continue. You sigh deeply, taking some time to ponder your thoughts. “There’s nothing left for me here. Besides we both know Erwin would have immediately planned a mission to see whatever is out there. So please let me do this”, you plead. Hange is quiet for a second before, “Very well, it won’t be today or probably even next week, but I promise you’ll be on that first mission”, they tell you. “Thank you”, you say, relief washing over you, happy to be able to live part of Erwin’s dream. “Before you go. I found something, something I think he would have wanted you to have”, Hange says, tone softer.

You glance at them curiously for a moment, watching as they placed a small dark satin box down on the desk. “Not that my words really mean anything, but he cared for you deeply”, Hange continues, choosing their words carefully. “I know had he not….aside from the Corps, you were Erwin’s world. He loved you and I’m sorry I’m the one that’s giving you this and not him”, they finish, the atmosphere now somber. You slowly reach out, carefully touching the smooth box, too scared to open it. “Thank you”, you manage to say evenly. You grab the small box, slipping it into your pocket before standing up, quietly dismissing yourself. As you step into the hall you nearly run into Levi, presumably on his way to speak to Hange, but you don't stop to apologize. You scurry down the hall, hoping to make it back to your room before another round of tears begins. Levi simply watches you go, knowing it was best to leave you alone for now.

In the wind, echoes of you. Let me know, memory lane. I wore the coat, the one you gave to me, meet me here.

The years had passed slowly and quickly at the same time. One year turned into two and then two years turned into five years without Erwin. So much had changed, the world you'd both know was completely gone. While time had begun to heal your wounds, seeing people who lived outside of the wall, the technology they brought with them was still painful to witness at times. The scouting trip to Marley was what finally pushed you to come to terms with reality. It was time to look towards the future.

You reach out and brush the old dirty brown leaves off of the grave that you were kneeling in front of. You fingers linger on his name etched into the now weathered stone. "Hey blondie", you begin, using his old nickname. In the beginning, Erwin had hated the name, but over time he had come to love it, turning it into a term of endearment, one that was only used behind closed doors. "This will probably be the last time I come here, it’s time…I need to let you go", you continue, you knew you weren't coming back. You'd made that decision after the world you knew had crumble before your very eyes. You couldn’t keep holding on to the past. Your hand moves to touch the necklace that rested on the hallow part of your throat, Erwin's final gift to you. "I wish you could have gotten to see all of this, but I know that you are here with me always", you finish. You take steading breath before leaning to kiss the stone briefly. "Goodbye Erwin", you murmur against the cool marble before standing up. You slowly walk back up the path towards the barracks. You pause, looking back towards the graveyard, taking in one final look. The past is the past, it's time to look towards the future, you think, knowing there was one last place to visit before you left.

A short while you knock on his door and when he gruffly says “Enter”, you take a calming breath. When the door opens and he sees that it’s you, Levi’s eyebrow shoots up quizzically for a second, but his face falls neutral again. “Surprised to see you here”, Levi comments. “I wanted to talk”, you say, standing awkwardly near his nearly empty desk. You weren’t the only one who seemed to be tying up loose ends. “So talk, I need to leave soon”, he replies dryly. Since that day on the beach years ago, the two of you had been indifferent. Back when Erwin was alive, you’d considered Levi one of your closest friends, but that all changed. You knew things would never be the same, but regardless you wanted to try. “I’m sorry”, you start. Levi looks up at you, face still indifferent. “After Erwin died I struggled, I was angry and I wanted to blame someone. That someone became you and it wasn’t fair. I was grieving my partner, but I forgot that you also lost one of your closest friends”, you continue, eyes staring down at the floor. “Things will never be the same, but I wanted you to know that I don’t blame you. Erwin died on his own terms”, you finish. The room fills with silence. You move your eyes to look at his face before you step towards his desk and place the green cloak you’d been holding down. “He would have wanted you to have this. I’ll see you tomorrow”, you say before you leave his office as quickly as you walked in.

Levi stares at the door for a moment once it’s shut before his eyes fall down to his desk. “I forgive you”, he mumbles before deeply sighing. Tomorrow would be a new chapter in both of your lives, whatever would happen he knew the were on the same team.

Life back then was simpler. Now it's not the same. The part you would play was so unthinkable . Feels likе only yesterday. I sat herе with you. We were in our hearts to be invincible.

“Levi”, you say, voice filled full of emotion as dread fills your body. Never had you seen him this injured before. He was humanities strongest soldier, he was the epitome of what a soldier in the scouts regiment should be. But as you finally reach him, that image fades away. You eyes scan his body, carefully assessing which wounds where the most fatal, trying to figure out where to start.

“Here”, Hange says, handing you what you assume is a medical kit, as they come to crouch next you. “Jesus fuck”, they mumble, moving to cut away what was left of his burnt uniform. “I’ll stitch the face, you take the chest and hand”, you tell Hange, trying your best to stay neutral, knowing Levi would never forgive you if you let your emotions take over. “Got it”, Hange says, opening the kit, pulling out various supplies. The two of you work quickly, cleaning the wounds, hearing the occasional groans that fall from Levi’s mouth, though he remains unconscious. “I can’t save the eye…I’ll need to stitch it up to stop the bleeding”, you tell Hange, tone frustrated. “Yeah well his fingers are long gone. Right now it’s about saving his life, not about keeping him pretty”, they reply, tone bleak.

With the stitching done, the two of you wrapped his wounds with the sterile bandages, knowing there was nothing else to be done. “I’m going to do a quick scout”, Hange says, pulling on their green cloak. “Stay here, keep an eye on Levi, I’ll be back soon”, they finish before disappearing into the now dark woods. You stay close to Levi, keeping a watchful eye on the steady rise and fall of his chest, still worried he could succumb to his injuries. The worry only slightly fades when his hoarse voice breaks the silent evening air. “Y/N”, he croaks, trying to sit up. You’re quick to push him back down. “Stop, you need to rest”, you tell him, trying hard to keep your voice steady.

Levi lays back down, his good eye catching your face. “Zeke?”, he questions. “Got away”, you reply, watching anger seep into his visible features. “Don’t worry, we’ll get him”, you continue, trying to reassure him. “Not exactly gonna happen if we kept lounging around”, Levi responds curtly. You could hear the frustration and disappointment in his voice. He’d failed Erwin again, the one promise he’d made him that he hasn’t be able to keep. “We aren’t lounging. You need to reciprocate. You nearly fucking died Levi”, you say taking the opportunity to check his bandages, making sure they remained in place.

“I wish I had”, slips from his mouth before he can even stop himself.

“What?”, you say, turning to look at him. “Y/N-” he starts but you cut him off. “How dare you fucking say that. We’ve all had shitty lives Levi, we’ve all lost people we cared about”, you start, voice raised. “But that’s the job! So sorry I saved your life. Maybe you forgot that I care for you, and I didn’t want to lose you either”, you continue, your emotions taking control, tears gathering in your eyes. “I can’t lose you, not after Erwin”, you finish, voice falling quiet, the last part barely audible. You were angry, angry that Zeke got away and Levi was nearly killed in the process. When was this hell going to end, you think as you try to calm yourself down. A weak, but steady hand grips your own, bringing you out of your thoughts. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean like that, I’m just so…tired” Levi says. “I know, I just, don’t know what I’d do without you”, you tell him honestly.

Before Levi has a chance to respond Hange comes back. “Sorry to break up this little party, but we’ve got things to do”, they say slightly out of breath. It’s only when Hange comes closer to the fire that you see the make shift wagon they brought with them. “That for me”, Levi asks. “Yep, first light we move out. We need to back to base and reassess”, they reply coming to sit down next to you. “It’s time to get rid of these Jeagerists”, Hange continues, tone darker. The conversation falls into somber silence, the true meaning of their words sinking in. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

In the wind. Echoes of you. Let me know. Memory lane. I wore the coat. The one you gave to me. Meet me here.

Thick mist fills your vision as you try to find the others. You move slowly, limping forward as you try to gain your bearings. As you continue to move forward you see a figure in the distance. You quicken the pace when you see some blond hair, thinking Armin was just up ahead. “Armin we..”, you start but the words die in your mouth as the figure comes into the full view. “Erwin”, you whisper, pain laced in your voice. His blue eyes lock onto yours for a moment. It was as if time were frozen. He looked so young, almost carefree. You watch as a smile breaks out across his face, before his fist comes to rest on his heart. “Erwin”, you say again, moving to reach out towards him, but before you can touch him, he slips away like a distant memory after a moment of clarity.

Just then the mist fades and the sunlight peaks through the clouds and the reality of what happens finally sinks in. The war was over and you had survived. You fall to your knees with a strangled cry. You had survived. As that phrase repeats through your mind, you wonder who else has survived and that’s when he finally enters your mind. “Levi”, you say quietly at first, standing up. “Levi”, you repeat, this time shouting as you move quickly across the barren landscape. “Lev-” you begin but stop as you take in the form of someone sitting up against some rocks. You run closer and relief instantly hits your body as you see that it is Levi.

“Levi”, you shout again as you race towards him. Your body slams into him with a forceful thud, knocking the wind out of both of you. “Fuck”, he mutters as you wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. “Sorry”, you say as you move back. “I just can’t believe that we’re alive”, you say breathless. “Calm down”, Levi mutters, but even you can hear the relief in his voice. You move to sit next him, now in no rush to leave, knowing that Levi can’t walk with his injured leg, but also knowing that someone would eventually find you.

It’s quiet for a time before, “Levi?”, you ask softly. “What?”, he murmurs back. “What happens now?”, you question, turning to look at him. He looks at you for a moment before shrugging his shoulder. “No fucking clue”, he responds a bit a later. “All I know is that I’m done with this shit”, he continues. “Will you go back?”, you ask him, softly as more time passes. “Nope, I need a fresh a start. Something else, something new”, Levi responds, choosing his words carefully. “What about you?”, he asks. You shrug your shoulders. “I said my goodbyes. There’s nothing left for me there” you say turning to look at him. His dark blue eye looks into yours. “Do you want to…try this new life together?”, you ask him quietly. Levi closes his eyes and leans his head back against the rock. “As long your ok with me no longer being humanities strongest soldier”, he mutters. You chuckle slightly, “You know that was never important to me”, you mumble, your hand falling down, placed between the two of you. “I know”, Levi replies quietly before his hand falls on top of yours, squeezing it gently. The war was finally over, you were ready to start a new chapter in your life, this time with Levi in it.

[noturlondonboy]

Also genderqueer Kate with yelena! What are your hc about them together?

Hi anon, thanks so much for this ask 🥰

I’ve only written about Kate exploring her gender after she and Yelena have already been dating, but I reallyyyyyyy love the idea of her already having figured it out before they meet. And here’s why! :>

(This is a THIRD try because my first draft didn’t save and my second one that I was JUST FREAKING WRITING-)

-

Anyone ever seen the post about the story idea of a girl falling for a boy and a girl and being really conflicted about who she likes more but then they turn out to be the same gender-fluid person

Yeah that’s what’s up

-first off, when Kate is so masculine that feminine stuff is uncomfy, that’s when we pull out the new name and pronouns

-drumroll please… meet Kit Bishop

-Yelena meets Kate in one of her classes (this one is a college au now I guess?) and they immediately hit it off, and Kate is crushing HARD. She already knows who Yelena is through Clint and therefore through Natasha, but they’ve never actually met, and Yelena doesn’t hear about Kate nearly as much as Kate hears about her

-later in the week in a different class, Yelena meets Kit, which is ultimately confusing. We’re just gonna pretend that a gender swap completely fools her (if that’s the right word for this) and she really just doesn’t pick up on it. But again, she really likes this new classmate, who acts so friendly and familiar with her, like they’ve already met

-it takes Kate about a week and a half to realize that Yelena thinks this is two different people. She is therefore freaking the fuck out and also so intrigued because it’s funny ok

-Yelena has a freak out and just rants to Natasha one day about these two peers of hers who she thinks she might be crushing on, but she’s never been interested in boys/ male adjacent folks and this is weird for her and they seem so alike

-“OH FUCK NATASHA I THINK THEYRE TWINS- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!?!”

-she asks Kate if she has a twin brother, to which Kate says no she’s an only child, and Yelena gets the same response from Kit

-she really is kinda oblivious and delulu here y’all stick with me

-Natasha knows that these are both the same people, so any time she sees Kate/Kit with Clint and hears about them from Yelena she kinda just giggles to herself

-Kate is trying to figure out how to put Yelena out of her misery and just admit that she’s both those people, and gender is her canvas to mess with however she wants

-Yelena finally says fuck it and asks both of them out for different nights, because who says she can’t go on non-commitment dates like that? Kit nearly slips and up and reminds Yelena that she already asked him out, but then stops and remembers and is a pussy and also incredibly turned on flattered that Yelena would initiate a date with someone she thinks is masculine identifying

-but in true K. Bishop fashion, this goofball gets the dates for the dates (haha) mixed up and arrives at the cafe as Kate when Yelena is expecting Kit (and also she woke up feeling feminine- can you blame a genderqueer girly for feeling like she’ll throw up if she doesn’t put makeup on?)

-Yelena is confused as fuck for a little bit and also worried that Kate will get upset if she thinks that Yelena is just messing around

-but Kate finally decides enough is enough and just point blank goes “Yelena. Sometimes I feel more like a boy, and sometimes I feel more like a girl, and sometimes I’m somewhere else entirely. I use all pronouns interchangeably and on some days, I go by Kit.”

-Yelena just kinda stares at her for a moment and then feels real dumb but Kate is like no wait I’m actually super flattered that you thought I passed so well it’s ok

-Kate apologizes for not telling her sooner but Yelena could care less she’s just having the biggest gay panic of her life and she just blurts out that she’d like to kiss her if that’s ok

-Kate is obviously down she’s not stupid

-“soooo… are we still on for next week too?”

-they go on a few dates before Yelena asks them to be her partner, and when she tells Natasha all she gets is a laugh and a “finally Jesus fuck”

-she slips into the changing names/pronouns/titles rather easily and quickly, which is super rad. They set up a system of check ins together each morning and sometimes just periodically throughout the day. “This is my partner- *looks over* yeah, this is Kate, my girlfriend.” “I just miss them, I miss him. Yeah, my boyfriend, that cute little guy I know”

-anyway that shit fucks hard and they’re gay your honor

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

hori constantly acts as if he isn’t the writer and has full control of the story and it pisses me off to no end. gonna drop some examples below. these are from the street wear profiles from the manga.

sen kaibara - “I love his Quirk, so I can’t wait to portray it more.” he’s acting like something/someone is actively holding him back from doing so.

tetsutetsu tetsutetsu - “I hope I get to show him in action more.” once again, acting like something is stopping him. side note, why tf did he give him that name. it’s just so lazy. and it’s not even funny. just annoying to say and annoying to write.

hanta sero - “He’s mostly just for one liners in the background, but he’s a good guy, and I’d like to feature him more. At some point. For sure.” and then proceeds to never do that.

this might just be me being bitter abt all the amazing characters he’s completely disregarded and disrespected. this might just be me not understanding what it’s like being a mangaka. but it still bothers me.

i just hate how he’s created this insanely interesting world and amazing characters and never expands on anything bc he’s too busy sucking bakugos dick.

speaking of bakugo, as someone who has narcissistic tendencies, he’s a textbook case.

he obviously has some sort of inferiority/superiority complex and a mild to severe case of a god complex. at best he’s dismissive of people who he sees as inferior to him, at worst he’s downright cruel.

his “nicknames” are all just fucking insults aimed at peoples insecurities.

raccoon eyes/horns: mina was probably bullied for her appearance and then her so called “friend” exclusively calls her names that poke fun at her appearance.

bird brain/bird face/other bird names: tokoyami has probably heard it all at this point but once again bakugo making fun of heteromorphs.

dunce face: denki has shown to be insecure about his intelligence and once again his so called “friend” mocks him for it.

tentacles/arms/octopus: again, mocking heteromorphs.

tail: i’m beginning to see a pattern here.

ears: ok how has no one pointed out how most of his nicknames are him basically just calling them slurs.

i don’t think bakugo has ever called someone their actual name. maybe a handful of times? but it’s like a massive event when he calls someone by their actual name.

exclusive calling people insults isn’t exactly heroic.

anyway rant over i just needed to get all this shit off my chest.

No, no honey, go the fuck off.

I will say as a writer, I have experience with 'my characters have a mind of their own' and that through writing our plans have to change because the characters adapt more, but I will also say that Hori dropped the ball BIG TIME.

I am firmly of the belief that he had to have been pushed into making some choices by the publishing company because like... dude! You have so much cool stuff and you focus on Bakugou? The 'rich kid with superiority/inferority issues' you find in every drama?

All the insults is just another tick in the 'let's be honest no one would like this guy in real life' column, and it is so fucking funny to me that people try to romantisize that shit. Hell, look what everyone does to the name Deku.

'Oh he couldn't read it properly'

Did you watch or read the manga? Cause he did, and realized that it could also mean this.

'He called Izuku Zuku before'

No.

'It was after-'

Nope, before the diagnosis, also the fact people try to use it to excuse it is fucked up. It would be like calling me the r word for my autism as a 'fun nickname'.

(I will say I know people with the same first and last name in real life. Some own it, some go by a middle name. I think it's funny that his name is Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu)

I saw someone say Bakugou has face blindness but even then you're right. Why the fuck is he making those jokes? He's like that white friend who makes racist jokes you ignore but will say someone is being sensitive when he gets called out.

Bakugou is just... ugh. He's so boring. My anger towards him has become: you're just a dull little man.

[s-rosie]

RANT POST (it’s really long but I need advice and I also just needed to get this off my mind so enjoy lol).

So there’s this guy that I was talking about in my last post at my school and I need to rant about him because he’s so cute istggghggg. (For the sake of his privacy, I’m calling him B) so for some backstory, I’m new to this school this year and I he’s been at this school for at least a year and has friends and stuff. Our story starts on the first day of school he sat behind me in Spanish and my Spanish teacher said “now we don’t want B to touch Rosie’s hair” just as an example and he said “damn, she really thinks I can pull” (or sum like that idk) and I’m like ok? But then the next day I started catching feelings because he kept making eye contact and smirking at me and just looking at me in class. Then when we were about to go outside everyone was looking towards the lockers and I was looking tears the door and he was in front of me and he turned with a straight face then made eye contact with me and smiled and I almost dieddddd. After that we had Spanish again (this is the next day) and I needed to get something from my bag behind me and his desk was blocking me so he tilted his desk back and smiled at me so I could get my folder out. Then I was getting my seat to bring out to the hallway for an assembly and I was talking to my friends and he just smirked at me and his eyes followed me the whole way. And in line to walk away from the assembly me and my friends didn’t know what to do so we just waited for everyone else to go in front of us and he passes us and gave me thet iconic smirk eye contact thingy again. Again at Spanish he moved his desk back again even though there was more room to get my folder and just did the patented “B smirk 5000”. (Oh also how many aura points did I loose because I asked the teacher if I could go to the restroom before he got there and I sprinted to my locker to put on perfume, lipgloss, and take some mints and he didn’t even get to class for like 10 minutes)

Fast foward to science class I was sitting down and he sits in front of me to my right and he was talking to his friend right in front of me and i was staring at him (I’m just a girl) and he made eye contact with me and smiled and my hearttttt. And in the hallway he made a small comment to someone else like “oh I didn’t go with my parents because I went to church” and I’m catholic so when I tell you my heart exploded I mean it. Then we were writing something in groups and each group had to pick one person to represent that group so we can make one paper as a class and me and him were each a group representative. And we were reading the papers and when he was done and I was still reading he was just staring at me with a smile and just joking around with me. Then I was writing the final paper the teacher said sun like “does it naturally flow or you gonna make it flow” and j said “I’m making it flow” and everyone bursted out laughing especially B and I was like saying shut up but flirty yk (this is pretty much the first time we ever talked but the chemistry was off the charts fr) And then the other boys started taking the joke a bit too far and mind you these were his friends for at least a year and he’s kinda popular and he looked at them and said “guys stop it just let her write” while smirking at me. THIS MAN, WHO IVE PRETTY MUCH NEVER TALKED TO, JUST DEFENDED ME IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS THAT HES KNOWN FOR AT LEAST A YEAR. AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH And the other boys were like “sorry” and stuff even tho it was just a joke it wasn’t a big deal and I was laughing. And then I read the paper and he was looking over at me and he said “you made it flow” and we went back and fourth joking like that for a few minutes (and he was blushing a little but which was just so cute) and he looked at my paper, which was in cursive and then said “so now can you write that in English?” (Playfully, bc he can’t read cursive) and we were laughing and stuff and he said the paper I made was good. Then I wrote down the homework on a sheet of paper and he walked back towards me (which is out of his way because we were leaving and I’m farther away from the door then he is) and he said “you’re making that flow” and I was just giggling bc ahahahaha. Then today in history i was running to get to class so I was sweating and fanning myself with my folder and he was just watching me like i looked like a mess but he just kept looking over at me.

Then fast forward to Spanish i got my folder again and I had all the room i could even need to get my folder and he still moved his desk and I looked at him and smiled this time to say thank you and he started to say you’re welcome but he cut out half way thru and kinda giggled and blushed (ITS SO DAMN CUTE WHEN GUYS DO THIS) and the teacher called on him for attendance and I was still grabbing my folder and he forgot what to say so I started laughing and he just looked down at me and said “i didn’t make that flow” and I started laughing more. Then we had to do a interview thingy in our Spanish lesson and after he went i leaned over to whisper to him “you made that flow” and he started laughing again. And our Spanish teacher brought up what she said the first day In class about B touching my hair (she just used us as an example because we were right next to her) and istg she’s the captain of our ship at this point. And we kept making eye contact and smiling. Okay I think that’s it. So sorry for the rant but I really just needed to get all of that off my chest and I need to know (if you red this far which I doubt) if he likes me bc I think he does but I’m also extremely delulu. Also what should I do like I don’t want to mess this up like I did in the past (we don’t talk about that) but I just need some help.

[adragonsfriend]

Reading Darth Plagueis,

by James Luceno.

Ok I finished this book. It was a wild ride, here are some highlights, (anything in quotes, " ", is in fact, a direct quote). Spoilers, I guess.

———

“At some point, probably when he was focused on murder, a rock or other projectile had pulped a large area of his lower back.”--Plagueis

Yeah man that always happens to me too when I’m focused on murder

———

Me thinking, *Plagueis is way too normal for a sith,* about five seconds before the narration goes *Plagueis was hungry. he thought about eating the eggs of some sentient lizards and also the sentient lizards themselves, but restrained himself*

———

Plagueis, a banker: nOt all mUNns R bAnkErS u kNoW

A pirate who wants a bribe: be better for you if you were some financial wizard

Plagueis, a literal wizard:

———

Captain La (the random pirate): how do u know my name

Plagueis: *truthing* I sliced you ship’s systems,

Plagueis: *lying* it’s not like I’m a telepath or something

———

*at the evil rich people party*

"Republic senators, at least those that weren’t present, would be subjected to ridicule—"

I love how the narration says "subjected" like Bail Organa would give fuck about some assholes making fun of him

———

Plagueis in a business meeting as hego damask:

Repeats himself multiple times conducting experiments in trying to force suggest to a resistant species

His assistant: bro what r u doing ur making us look bad

———

omg young Palpatine is so Anakin coded. Genuinely he throws tantrums it’s perfect

———

Tag this accidental baby acquisition some random dathomiri lady just handed maul over like a sac of potatoes

———

Sidious, about to gaslight, girlboss, gatekeep, mansplain, manipulate, and threaten to manslaughter Nute Gunray within an inch of his life all in the span of a 2 minute zoom call: *wearing his Sith cloak on their holocall* what is up my guy? did u get the rare collectible bird I sent u anonymously a while back?

Nute Gunray: uhh…yes…um… its very nice…who are you and why r u hiding in that hood bro?

Sidious: it's the traditional clothing of my Order

Gunray: ur a cleric?

Sidious: "Do I seem like a holy man to you?"

Me: the only holes I see here are in your logic, morals, ability to feel compassion, and *waves hand all encompassingly* vibes

———

Dooku: if one more Jedi dies because of the indolence of the republic, I’ll leave the Jedi and refuse to look back

Palpatine: *listening attentively*

———

Plagueis & Maul: (separately) gloat about being Sith Lords to people they’re about to kill

Sidious:

Sidious: these idiots cannot keep a secret to save their lives—

———

Plagueis ACTUALLY believes Sidious is about to appoint him co-chancellor. what an idiot.

———

Padme shocking both Sith at every turn during the Naboo crisis is sending me

———

Oooh Sidious' murder rant is incredible. He's like Plagueis you manipulated and abused me, now i'm gonna kill you so I can go do that to other people without you hanging over my shoulder. It's like the evil but still cathartic version of Zuko's speech to Firelord Ozai.

———

Dooku: That zabrak guy was definitely a Sith. There has to be another one, probably the master

Sidious, standing right next to him in a shadowy warehouse wearing a black cloak: “how would one even begin to know where to look for this other Sith?”

———

“For an instant, Palpatine perceived a touch of his younger self in Skywalker”

This book needs to stop. Maybe consider pulling its punches sometime. The only mark of disapproval I have here is that this is portraying Obi-Wan as an asshole for the five seconds he’s present

———

Bad news, the book did indeed stop. I have been gravely injured, but also greatly amused. The experience of reading this book is just constant vacillation between *wow so Sith Lord, so scary, so evil* and *Plagueis, my guy, that is the dumbest ideology I’ve ever heard. maybe if you took a nap (for the first time in 20 years) you’d finally say something that made sense*

I will also confess that I was taking detailed notes about Plagueis for an AU idea I have that I will not be starting for at least another year because I am married to BHOT and I refuse to be like the rest of you sorry fucks with 17 wips (ignoring that fanfic is in fact the only genre of writing I do not have at least 17 wips in)

[issysh3ll]

im gonna loose my v card this weekend and i have no idea how its bouta go down 😓 ive never been so scared in my life im only now noticing 50050550 more insecurities i never even knew i had.. and omg what if i dont make him feel good? what if it hurts? what if his size is not what i expected?? what if he wants mf euphoria sex?? anyways ranting cus ur the only blog thats so gracious about this kind of stuff. ALSO WHAT IF I BLEED??? agh

Omg ok I’m gonna take these one at a time

It’s ok to be nervous, that’s normal but you shouldn’t be actually panicking and keeping yourself up at night about this. Make sure you feel completely ready to lose your virginity and make sure this guy is the best person to trust with that responsibility

Insecurities are normal and i guarantee your partner has insecurities too. He definitely won’t notice all the little things you’re noticing about yourself. Try to do some meditation or calming exercises and refocus on things that you do feel confident about. Confidence is sexy!

Tbh it’s pretty hard to not make a penis feel good. You don’t have to do anything insane to make it enjoyable for him and if it’s your first time and he knows that, he shouldn’t be expecting anything crazy from you

The first time having penetrative sex can be a little painful. It should only be a small manageable pain that subsides pretty quickly, it won’t hurt the whole time. Make sure you are wet and turned on before he puts it in, and make sure he goes slowly and is communicating with you to know when you’re ready for more or faster

Size can be challenging, the average dick size is about 5.5 inches so i usually expect somewhere around there, give or take 1 inch. Length usually isn’t the problem - it’s girth. If he does look huge, tell him you might need more lube, extra prep (fingering, head etc), and he’ll need to go slower

Make sure he knows it’s your first time and he should not be expecting euphoria sex the first time lmao. Keep it simple for sure

Bleeding is a possibility. It’s usually only a drop or two and you likely won’t even notice it

Remember you can always say no and stop at any time if it is too scary or you don’t feel ready

[mariswxts]

just read frat!dick thoughts and the mere image of this man SUCKING A LOLLIPOP while staring at me made my brain go DEAD, literally had to stop for sometimes and read it all again because of the sheer power of your writing. also, it's soo good! i loved how you phrased things and how you portrayed him cuz i'm kinda obsessed with him lately and NEEDED some good thing about him, and you just gave me that. if i was still an artist, i would definitely try to draw that specific scene. i'm not even into smuts at all but yours is perfect and you got so much talent. thank you so much for writing that?

also, the aesthetics (is that how people call the little images and the dividers and all on the post?? cuz that's what i'm talking about alright) were so pretty and it's not even news that it would be, because your profile is already all beautiful and matching, but it gets me admired everytime! plss write more about dick (what a lovely sentence) one day if you feel comfy of course. sorry for any english mistakes i'm typing this in a rush. mwah! 🤍

ok, bella, I love this entire message so much that I’m gonna make like an English student and pick it apart cause I’M GIGGLING AND TWIRLING MY HAIR AND KICKING MY FEET—

just read frat!dick thoughts and the mere image of this man SUCKING A LOLLIPOP while staring at me made my brain go DEAD

omg YESS??? The idea popped into my head and I’d ranted to it to @/aliyahwritings before I got to work, that he’d totally have a cherry flavoured lollipop because he always wants to do something with his mouth, whether it be running it or clicking his tongue, and I just had to put that in writing (also for dick grayson aficionados out there he’s totally pussydrunk and especially as a college boy)

literally had to stop for sometimes and read it all again because of the sheer power of your writing.

oh, my god, this means so much 😭 knowing whenever someone’s reread my works is such a flex istg, you’re too sweet, bella, angel

also, it's soo good! i loved how you phrased things and how you portrayed him cuz i'm kinda obsessed with him lately and NEEDED some good thing about him, and you just gave me that.

and more’s coming!! frat!dick’s given me a lot of inspiration here, because I just know that man was a frat king in college, he screams it, even though I believe he’s a responsible dude post-college graduation, you made me cry this is so sweet

if i was still an artist, i would definitely try to draw that specific scene. i'm not even into smuts at all but yours is perfect and you got so much talent. thank you so much for writing that?

HAHBKUDHAIYFDAIUDDCJADSGDCJIDW REALLY?!! that’s the highest praise, oml, thanks so much (again)!! I like to ease into a new character by writing smut for them, which is why I decided to do frat!dick cause it seems very smutty (y’know, frat) and yw! anything for you, mootie 💕

also, the aesthetics (is that how people call the little images and the dividers and all on the post?? cuz that's what i'm talking about alright) were so pretty and it's not even news that it would be, because your profile is already all beautiful and matching, but it gets me admired everytime!

I worked for about an hour on that cause I was unsure of how to do the aesthetic so thanks so much and yeah, I call it aesthetics!! and the profile comment is so sweet, I love your aesthetic, I love it when it’s simple and minimalistic (which is me being odd cause mine’s black and gold)

plss write more about dick (what a lovely sentence) one day if you feel comfy of course.

OH I HAVE MORE DICK IN MY DRAFTS (ALSO A GREAT SENTENCE) don’t you worry, baby, you guys are gonna get fed real soon, I promise, I love you all 💕

sorry for any english mistakes i'm typing this in a rush. mwah! 🤍

absolutely no problem!! Only time I probably get icks is when I myself am typing and I don’t use proper spelling, punctuation and grammar, I just push through the pain sometimes 😭

ily so much, bella, you’re so sweet!

[itsbrittanybiitch]

not really a question per se or maybe it will be when I finally get all my thoughts out but throughout the hole and fake I was ruining for Eleanor like so much like I honestly feel bad for her the most out of everyone besides Simon and whatever stuff is going on right now. But now I don’t think I could sympathize with her more as I did in the beginning because like she is getting more un rational to me? like odk how to explain it 😭 but like her are always budging on britney and Alvin for good reason, but then they never make an effort to let them see their wrong ways. They can’t just really say something to somebody and expect them to change. You could yell at somebody all you want, but actions speak louder than words also in like the newest chapter, she was kind of a hypocrite.  like she didn’t like Alvin and britt for talking about those kids from the debate team but yet when she went to her friends, she literally let her friends start talking about Alvin and britney even if she did say it was fine for them to talk and even if she knew some of the stuff they were saying is true that’s kind of hypocritical. 

also, I really like how y’all do both the britney and Eleanor seen where like Eleanor is is having a nice moment with Jeanette and then britney sees it cause I don’t know this whole fanfic I’ve just felt bad for britt. maybe it’s cause I like the color pink but every time I just see something bad happened to her. I just wanna be there to hug her. 😭

i’m like really sad for her too because when the more I think about this whole fan as a whole, I realize how she really doesn’t have that big of a friend group people to influence her well because she was first friends and popular and she’s not like her regular friends I want her to get some friends of her own. 

(IM SORRY FOR THE RANTING IM JUST TOO PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS FIC🧍‍♀️)

but yeah, I feel like I’m like misunderstanding at these character on a whole different side like cause she’s such a good character. I love her and I’d like room for her and theater so bad but I don’t know I feel like her and bringing stuff another shout out like they did before

and I really want her to get like out of the drama that she’s in with like all of them popular girls (I forgot there names sorry😭)

but I also want her to stop treating britt as if she can’t handle herself like YEAH I know britt wasn’t OK after the whole thing with Jessica and whatever but still I feel like telling her what help better because it’s technically britt’s fault like as much as I hate to say that, and I don’t think anyone’s really at fault it’s her fault that Eleanor has to be through fear, but like it would help bonding cause y’all both have something to bond over?

But yeah😭 i talk too much and im probably gonna send another ask but I also just wanna see how much I love y’all fanfic It’s like my favorite ever like if I’m not gonna lie like every time I read it just get like the sudden urge to listen to Alvin and the chipmunks songs and watched movies over and over again and watch the shows so I love you all for that



I think you need to try and see the story from Eleanor's perspective. Imagine your entire life has revolved around your sister, and despite going through your own struggles, hers always come at first priority? That would be frustrating, and as a 15 yo girl, Eleanor isn't going to handle all of that (ON TOP of the current threats she just got btw) in a completely mature and rational way. Sure, she is usually the more level-headed of the chipettes, but she is still a child. She doesn't HAVE to be rational 24/7, and she shouldn't have to be! She is also going to make mistakes and say things she doesn't mean. Hell, she was mean to Brittany in the pie chapter, but immediately apologized. There is only so much one person can take before they reach their breaking point.

I don't think she's a hypocrite for letting Dom's friends talk about Alvin and Brittany. They were talking about things the two have done in the past, and Eleanor knows the two very well. She wouldn't let anyone say things about them that weren't true. Little Jimmy and Abigail were talking about individuals that they didn't know very well. THAT was what frustrated Eleanor.

I think you can feel bad for Brittany and root for Eleanor at the same time. Yes, Brittany is going through a LOT, and her realization that her relationship with Eleanor and Jeanette isn't as strong as she'd like it to be is going to contribute to that pain, but it's not necessarily Eleanor or Jeanette's fault either. They are not obligated to make sure that she feels secure all the time. Imagine that one of your siblings is much better at recognizing your feelings and understanding what you need. You too would go to them more often than the other, even if it was unintentional. This is going to contribute to Brittany's arc later, trust.

Don't apologize for sending long asks! If I didn't answer everything it's bc I missed it or misread it but I hope this clears things up! Sometimes things can get misinterpreted which is part of why I opened this up! It's better to see where the creators are coming from. Ask away! I eagerly await your other asks! :)

[stillaclownlol]

FROWNY. I know I commented some of my thoughts already (and already gave you an ask about it) but I have more and the comments have a word limit so I’m just gonna say them here:

ADAM. ADAM. I’m sorry but I think he’s my favourite character. Like THE RITUAL WITH HIM AND PERSEPHONE?? HER SAYING “They didn’t believe me”????? EXCSUE ME??? HELLO?? GIRL?? I cannot BELIEVE the amount of happenings I’ve just read. Like WHAT. He hasn’t woken up yet but like omg my baby my boy please come here and let me HUG YOU. He’s been going through it this whole book and he genuinely needs a hug I just wanna squeeze him and keep him safe UGHHHH.

ANYWAY. SO. Gansey and Blue??? CUTE AF?? Sad her and Adam aren’t together but honestly saw it coming — I was just in denial really. Like he’s literally her TRUE LOVE. There’s NO WAY she wouldn’t fall for him. I’m happy they considered Adam’s feelings though, but like OMG THE MOUNTAIN SCENE?? It was so cute and I could picture it so well in my mind like… (if you don’t remember what scene I’m referring to it’s the one after Adam’s scrying where Blue and Gansey drive off to clear their heads and then they stop at this beautiful scenery and then feelings get blown and they are REALLY cute)

UM. KAVINSKY?? HELLO?? I thought he was just some random jerk?? HE CAN DO SHIT WITH HIS DREAMS TOO?? And what’s with all the gay jokes?? My guy is so fruity, he calls Ronan “sweetheart” and “princess” this man is NOT STRAIGHT. like at all. Also Ronan??? RONAN??? KILL ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I CANT BELIVE HE DID THAT?? WITH THE CAMARO?? GENUINELY SCREAMED WHEN THAT HAPPENED??? And HIS EUPHORIC LAUGHTER?? HE SMILED?????? PLEASE CAN I HAVE MORE OF THAT????

Gray Man is ehh still, like he and Maura are cute I guess and he figured out Greywaren was a someones instead of a something but also okay?? I mean at least he isn’t gonna kidnap them or kill them? (At least, I hope not because I’m not done with the book)

Last thing I wanna talk about before I go read again: I officially love the Lynch brothers (like maybe not Declan YET but I’m only on book 2) and the Gansey’s aren’t all that bad. I also just want Adam to find someone who’d love him because he’s been so deprived of it his whole life like UGHHH ADAM??? I wanna cry he’s such a wreck 😭

Ok rant over !

NOOOOO YOURE AT THE RITUAL SCENE? PLEASEEEE BROKE MY HEART FR 😭😭😭

Omg the mountain scene. THE MOUNTAIN SCENE. THE DRIVE- SLDHOSBDOD IT WAS SO- AUGGHHHH. anyways don't worry Adam will also get his happiness 🙂‍↕️

THE KAVINSKY PLOT TWIST WAS CRAZYYYYY LMAO. also yeah he's fruity af kshjdbfsi.

WHEN HE CRASHED THE CAMARO KAHDJHDKS RIGHT AFTER GANSEY WAS THINKING ABOUT IT 💀 KILLED ME-

Grey Man is whatever I appreciate his help but like lowkey you shouldn't have been there in the same place-

The Lynch Brothers drive me insane in the best possible way ~

ADAM WILL FIND LOVE I PROMISEEEEE <3