#ohoho i'm so excited

[binch-i-might-be]

anyway *drops this excerpt and scuttles away*

Father and Laurens contrasted sickeningly with Alex. Alex who looked so small and frail, all crumpled in on himself, orange candlelight casting stark shadows over an unusually pale face, hands trembling faintly now that he no longer had anyone to hold on to.

And yet… he was just as much of a soldier as they were. He had proven it tonight, not that he had needed to.

They were two sides of the same coin. The strength and the weakness, the war and the consequence.

The victory and its price.

[dootznbootz]

I love the idea that it's both >:3

"Don't make me fight you, brother. I care about you and we both know I'm the stronger of the two of us and you will not survive this."

People forget Odysseus has the 4th highest "kill count" in the Iliad of the Achaean army (the other 3 being huge heavy hitters with Patroclus, Achilles, and Diomedes).

That number is ALL during the battles as he never killed the sleeping men during the night raid. One of these battles he did WHILE injured in the gut. He TIED with Greater Ajax at wrestling, one of the biggest dudes in the army. He took out the suitors with only a few other people on his side. He broke Irus' jaw in one swing and threw that iron discus.

Odysseus is a wily trickster who is only 100% loyal to his family and everybody else is hit or miss. He'll run away if he thinks shit could even POSSIBLY turn out bad for him but holy shit, he can really kick ass.

Not only that!!! But if it IS a threat, and Eurylochus DOES know, "I can't possibly win this", that shows that Eurylochus is that DONE. He's that tired and angry. Even if he knows Odysseus can and, most likely will, kill him, he would rather die than listen to Odysseus anymore.

I've always thought that the line "Don't make me fight you, brother" in Mutiny has two meanings. One, Odysseus does not want to fight the man he considers a brother. The other, Odysseus is more adept in battle, and he knows Eurylochus would most likely not make it out alive.

On one side, that line is a plea, on the other, it's a threat.

[hotheadedhero]

i am absolutely in love with your writing style and i see requests are open hehehehe

perhaps a rise!donnie with a gn reader that is “high intelligence low wisdom”? like, theyre smart and all and can understand a lot of his work, but they next moment they do something absolutely idiotic?

anyway thanks for considering <3

AN: If I've got the right idea then oh, ohoho, I think I can do this. Kinda describes me as a person 😅 And thank you!! I'm glad you enjoy the spoils of my crazy brain <3

A Dichotomy in Donnie's Dearest

Donatello x Reader

Donatello has a field day with you. Finding another entity as smart as him is unfounded but you're an enigma altogether. You're not necessarily the next Einstein, but your ability to fathom even half of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is impressive. Some nights, you'll both have conversations about biomechanics, nuclear chemistry, or anything that weasels its way into the mix. It isn't uncommon for you two to stay up until the break of dawn when you get caught up in such exchanges. In fact, your propensity for science drew him towards you in the first place. You make quite a pair, like how a covalent bond is a formation of electrons shared between two atoms.

Although, he supposes that if that is the attractive force in this analogy, your disposition for thick-witted conduct is the repulsive force. The difference between your divine intellect and your misshapen ability to function in society is an astounding, if not worrying prospect. It's as though you completely forgot yourself and he can only speculate how.

Initially, he chalked it up to a faulty memory: forgetting to switch the socket on when you plug your laptop in, not realising your phone is in your hand whilst it's 'lost', completely losing your train of thought mid-conversation. Standard, everyday predicaments that aren't unfounded amongst the greater world.

That assumption was quickly abandoned when he took closer note of some things that come out of your mouth - certain "theories" of yours that he hopes are funny thoughts and nothing more.

"Do you reckon tissues get their name from the fact that when we sneeze, we say, a-tissue?" you ask him.

You can't be serious, surely. Perhaps it was merely a bad attempt at a pun. If so, he'll have to limit your spending time with his oh-so-dear brother, Leonardo. It's bad enough having one person galivanting around thinking they're funny, let alone two.

He can't even begin to form a base for what you've just asked him, and instead replies so, "Life is too short for me to answer such questions."

It doesn't end there. He wishes he could say it does but it doesn't.

"I just figured out why a peanut is called a peanut!" The unparalleled excitement in your voice is enough to shock him out of his mortal body but the content source of your jovial commotion is mind-boggling and not in a good way. When he does nothing other than stare, you continue, "They're like peas in a pod but the nut version!"

"A dazzling deduction, my love," he remarks tiredly, wondering how you're the same person he discusses string theory with. "The limits of your knowledge truly know no bounds."

He's just glad Aristotle isn't around to see this side of humanity. It isn't limited to what you say, either. Worst of all, it's the things you do. Such as, when you try to eat something despite the fact it's just come out of the oven. Bonus 'dumb-dumb' points if you try to take food out of the oven without gloves. To put it simply, he doesn't trust you in the kitchen - a caution further validated when you rubbed your eyes after cutting jalapeno peppers once. You have been effectively banned.

He's lost count of how many times you've elbowed your own hip whilst rolling over in bed, or the many instances you've attempted to pull a push door and vice versa. That isn't even taking into account the countless times you have visited the lair without waterproof clothing, despite how long you've been coming down. Let's just say that the already long list is seemingly never-ending.

His frequent sighs of annoyance never offend you. If anything, it makes you laugh that much more when he appears physically pained by your antics. It's as though you enjoy his suffering. From your perspective, there's no harm in the odd hiccup here and there. You're merely enjoying life for what it is and know when to have a giggle at yourself.

Donnie believes himself to be a prodigy and he is! He can solve most if not all conundrums thrust his way but you - you - are the one he can't figure out. Yet, no matter how many times you engage in these idiotic behaviours, he still loves you. Besides, thinking any less of you would be a stupefying case of hypocrisy if he weren't to acknowledge his own blunders. Granted, his mistakes are often in the name of science but you are truly a match made in imbecilically astute Elysium.

AN: Btw, the things about the tissues, peanuts, and elbowing hips? Real stuff from me. Idk how I function

[justgrey]

Hello! I’d like to request the mercenaries with a fem mercenary reader who is a shapeshifter and has a pretty chaotic personality? Basically Nimona from the movie Nimona lol

Watched the movie finally, and now I'm gay for ballister. Thanks for that xoxo. be on the lookout for something on him because i want to chew him and hit him like a tennis ball

Also, it's safe to say I got a little stupid with this one 💀

Mercs with a chaotic! reader

Warnings : swearing, light mentions of gore, talk of body parts, medic.

CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS *jevil laughter*

Probably get along really well with Pyro and Scout not gonna lie because Pyro likes to burn shit (Even though I'm pretty sure they think they're spreading joy and colour) and Scout is pretty hyper in general, willing to go along with anything as long as it's fun.

*burns down barn*

"huddah huh huu hud."

"Yeah, loving the colour too, pally. Really makes the wood boom." *evil chuckles*

As soon as Pyro learns about your shapeshifting ability, they're all over you. They want you to play 3 different characters at their tea parties simultaneously and transform into a unicorn so that they can ride you into battle and fulfill their wildest dreams

"Hud hudda hu hubuh huuuuh HUDDAH!!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" *transforms into a unicorn* "Get on."

*excited hu noises*

"HUDDAHHHH!!"

Besties 💗🌈🔥✨️

Some of the older and quieter mercenaries are NOT gonna be having a field day with you and your silly little personality.

Sniper hates it THE MOST. He doesn't like people that much in general and can barely keep up with the hyperactive chaos that is you, so he mainly sticks to watching you burn shit down from afar.

"Did'ya really have ta' do that much?"

"Yeah. Why, you not liking it, pissboy?"

"..."

"That's what I thought. Don't be a hero, buddy."

Although he doesn't appreciate your snarky attitude, he likes how you can shapeshift. He really likes animals and will sometimes scope in on you when you transform, nodding with approval and whispering a little, "cool" that he hopes nobody hears.

Spy thinks you're a nuisance around the base but definitely sees the usefulness in your shapeshifting abilities since he kinda almost does the same damn thing, just with his goofy masks. He respects you for that, if anything, at all.

Do not ever expect to replace him or get remotely close to him in espionage, though. If you are at the same level as Nimona, you're not great at directly impersonating humans, and he will tease you about it.

"What was that, today?

"What was what?"

"The 'Oh Mon deu! Ack! Oohh! I dropped my baguette' if that was meant to be an impersonation of me, know that it was terrible, and my lawyer will be contacting you."

"I dunno, I think it was pretty accurate." *shrug*

Medic loves you. Sorry, not sorry. Loves you. Does get tired of you sometimes, but not all the time. He's generally also very *bzzz bzzz chaos organs* so he's happy to indulge in whatever you want to do which usually involves the absolute destruction of everything.

Medic is also incredibly fascinated by your shapeshifting ability. Do not sleep around this man while shape shifted because he's poking and prodding everywhere while you're out.

"Ohoho... how peculiar" *pokes open nerve*

"YEOUCH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

*nervous chuckle as he hides a bucket of blood and from your view*

Engineer tries to be that guiding light he thinks you need. He's a friend, a father figure, a colleague, whatever you need. He's a nice Southern gentleman with a slightly insane twist. Encourages you to be careful around the others, but if you aren't, he's not complaining. Makes the job easier if everyone listens.

Heavy is pretty chill with you. He's neither annoyed nor pleased that you're around. He relatively keeps to himself, medic, and his guns.

Actually, do not touch his gun. Do not pretend to be his gun either.

Soldier and Demo like your charisma. You can be a pretty fun drinking partner for demo, and a nice soldier when you're willing to follow orders (which isn't usually) but as long as you get the job done with as much destruction as possible, Soldier is saluting you almost as much as he does the American flag that is hanging next to his bed.

"ANOTHER GREAT DAY, TODAY! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND I MIGHT RAISE YOUR STATUS, CADET!"

"SIR YES SIR! or something I dunno, fuck this is weird..."

*walks with soldier, ignoring the screams of the dammed behind you*

He makes you transform into an eagle and has you sit there on his arm for a while, admiring you fly. It's brought him close to tears on many occasions.

Whenever he gets married to Heavy's sister, Soldier is making sure that you are THERE as an Eagle. He'll pay you to fly across the sky and make majestic bird noises.

Overall, some very mixed experiences. But a fun concept either way.

[citruswriter]

Second Meeting/Becoming Close

Listen In With Me! ↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ

A/N - Fuck it. Throwback to my Quotev/WattPad days. Time to expand this into boyfriend scenarios. Also I'm saying "getting close" rather than "becoming friends" bc uh... ya boy is aplatonic. So like... fight me.

Previous Part

Stepping out of the shower, you dried off. Today had been a long day at work and you desperately needed to clean off. Your phone vibrated, checking it you saw a text message from April. "Hey! Wanna hang out at the lair tonight? The boys have been asking about you. Guess they like you!" The text read. Contemplating your options, you shrugged your shoulders and texted her back. "Yea sure. Lemme get dressed first tho. Took a shower." Walking to your room to pick an outfit, your phone buzzed again. "Long day I'm assuming? You remember who to get there?" You chuckled softly and texted back, "Girl you have no idea. And yea, I remember. See you soon". Blinking softly, you wondered how bonding with the boys would turn out. You hadn't exactly met another mutant, let alone four to five other mutants. You were nervous, but also excited...

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Leonardo x Reader 🧡

Warnings: Reader is a wolf neko, I do that cheesy shit where I make Reader wear the turtles signature color, Reader had golden eyes.

Pulling on some black cargo pants, a blue tank top, and some black combat boots, you snagged your phone and house keys. Snagging your grey jacket, you tied it around your waist before grabbing your bike and carried it downstairs. The streets were busy but had luckily begun to cool some as the sun set neatly on the horizon. Pedalling down the winding streets, it wasn't long before you reached the abandoned sewer. You looked for a spot to chain your bike up before lifting the heavy manhole cover. Crawling inside like you had the other day, you found your way to the lair much easier than you had the other night. "Hey guys," you spoke up as you entered. Mikey sprang up to greet you, "Heyyyyyyy dude!" He exclaimed, making you smile up at him. He shook his head softly and pointed at you, "Still not used to seeing those things". He said, referring to your fangs. "And I'm not used to seeing four mutant turtles all over six feet but here we are," you retorted and Mikey couldn't help but laugh. "Fair enough. Oh do you want some pizza? We got four cheese, pepperoni, and Hawaiian!" He offered. You laughed and grabbed a plate, snagging the pizza slices of your choice.

From the mediation room, Leo heard your laugh. Opening his eyes, he blinked a few times and stood from his seated lotus position. "By the way, where's blue?" You asked and he couldn't help but chuckle. "Right here, (Y/N)," he replied, coming into the living room. "Why? You miss me?" He teased softly and you scoffed, rolling those golden eyes of yours. "As if. Just wanted to know where your stuck up ass was," you said back but he saw the way your tail wagged more when he entered the room. "Sure thing blossom. But I think your tail disagrees with you". You couldn't help but sputter out a flustered denial, grabbing your tail and pouting. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed a water bottle and chugged it down. "You know, it's not a crime if you don't hate me," he said, gently pushing your head. You flattened your ears and glared at him. "I don't know, Leo. I think the police would disagree," you joked back and he could help but laugh. "Cute. But scoot. My turn to kick your ass at this game," he said, taking the controller out of Mikey's eyes. Perking back up, you grinned at him. "Ohoho. Your fucking on, blue." The next few hours were filled with the two of you jeering and shit talking each other as you two played against each other.

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Raphael x Reader 🧡

Warnings: Reader is a cat neko, flirting

Snagging your black shorts, a band tee, and red converse you quickly dressed before grabbing your house keys and running outside. The sun was setting, so it was much more cool outside, making you opt out of your typical bike ride and instead take a relaxing walk. Reaching the manhole, you wasted no time shimmying down and jogging down the sewer halls. "Sup losers," you called out as you walked in, beelining it to April, to share your exhausting day. "Girl I need to tell you about today. So this woman came in with her three kids right? Which is like, fine and all but oh my fucking god were they hyper. Like, legit screaming and running around. At one point, one of the kids ran into the kitchen, so naturally, I picked the kiddo up and he spewed all into my hair." You shivered and April scrunched up her nose in disgust as you recounted your reason for your shower.

"Ewwww. What the fuck? So that's why you took a shower?" She questioned and you nodded. You nearly jumped out of your skin as you felt a hand gently grab your tail. "Sounds like a rough day. Poor kitten," Raph's gruff voice said with fake pity. You snatched your tail out of his grasp and turned to look at him, leaning against the table you had previously been bent over. "The way I oughta claw you right now," you spat back with a glare. "As if you could hurt me, kitten." He challenged, leaning down to be closer to your level, and you unleashed your claws. "Wanna test that statement? I'll add to that scar on your lip," you challenged back. "I genuinely can't tell if you two are flirting or fighting," you heard Donnie say off to the side. You laughed and ducked away from Raph. "Oh please. If I was flirting, this man would know. I'm just bullying him." You giggled, patting Donnie on the arm in reassurance as you passed by him. "Bullying isn't very nice, (Y/N)," Mikey chipped in with a fake pout, knowing that you weren't actually bullying his brother out of malice.

You tilted your head back in a laugh and Raph couldn't help but grin at seeing you getting along well with his brothers. "I'll bully you next, Mikster" you playfully challenged, dropping into a loose fighting stance, tail swaying softly. Mikey played along and dropped into a fight stance back. "Time and place," he shot back. But before the two of you could begin your play fighting, Raph piped back up. "Maybe don't fight in the living room? We don't need Leo scolding us," he said, glancing over to his brother in blue. Leo only rolled his eyes. "You're no fun, Raphie." You pouted back, crossing your arms with a pout and flattening your ears. "Oh I'm Raphie now, huh babydoll?" He teased and you scoffed. "Oh puh-lease." But you grinned at him none the less. "Welp. I'm going to work out. If ya wanna continue to annoy me, feel free to join me," he offered, walking off.

Ears flicking, you followed him. "Sure. Maybe you could use the extra weight to lift". You said and Raph shook his head. "Sure kitten. Hop on." He got himself comfortable on his bench press chair. You climbed up, somehow sprawling yourself across the bar without slipping off of it. He was originally joking but he wasn't going to back out now. At some point, April poked her head in to check on you only to see Raph lifting you on his bar still, your tail gently wrapped around his wrist.

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Donatello x Reader 🧡

Warnings: Reader is a moth, Reader is a bit shy, Reader is wearing a dress (wear the damn dress John 🔪)

Humming to yourself, you ordered yourself an Uber before picking out a simple purple dress to wear and brown flats. Snagging your house keys, you made your way down to your Uber. Before long, you had reached your destination. You waited for your driver to leave before stalking down the alleyway beside your "destination" and slinking down to find your real destination. "Hey boys!" You squeaked out and Leo popped out of somewhere, ruffling your hair while being careful to not touch your antenna. After greeting all the boys and April, you beelined it to Donnie's lab, he was apparently working on some big project. "Hey Donnie," you said casually. Despite speaking softly though, this man still almost jumped out of his skin. Taking a breath to calm himself, he looked over to you only to find you giggling at his reaction. "That wasn't funny," he said, tone embarrassed and you simply fluttered up to his level. "Leo said you were working on something," you said, silently inviting him to tell you about his latest project. And talk he did. You fluttered around the lab as he asked you to grab certain tools.

"I'm so sorry. I-I haven't offered you a seat yet," he said suddenly, standing up to get you a chair to sit in. You gratefully sat in the chair, curling up in it and resting your wings. "W-Why didn't you ask for a chair sooner?" He questioned and you shrugged your shoulders. "Well you were talking about your project, I didn't want to interrupt. Besides, I was enjoying getting tools for you and helping," you replied, antenna twitching softly. "You think I can look at your wings today?" He questioned gently and you tilted your head in thought. "Hmmmm. Maybe not today. Sorry, had a bad day at work. Don't exactly wanna be touched". You replied and he nodded in understanding. "I can understand how that feels. I get like that too".

He stayed silent as you began to tell him about your day, occasionally looking over at you and nodding to indicate that he was still listening to you. Eventually, you laid your head down on his table, watching him work as the two of you sat in silence. "You don't have to stay in here, you know," he said gently and your wings fluttered softly. "No I like it in here. It's soothing, watching you work." You replied, sighing deeply. You couldn't help but notice his happy little smile as he focused on his work once more. At some point you forced him to take a break, getting juice and pizza for the two of you. The two of you talked softly, you didn't really understand half of what he was saying but neither of you minded.

"Hey nerds," Raph's voice penetrated the calm environment that had comfortably wrapped the two of you and you both turned to look at him. "We're about to watch a movie, wanna join?" He offered and you turned to Donnie, looking up at him hopefully. He laughed softly, realizing you wouldn't go unless he did. Sighing, he got up and stretched. "Sure thing". You let out a moth squeak, which he couldn't help but internally melt at. You padded after him excitedly, snuggling up to him when he finally got comfortable on the couch. "Is this ok?" You whispered up at him when you felt him stiffen. "Yes it's ok. I'm just... not used to it. I'm sorry." He confessed and you nodded drawing away from him slightly to hopefully make him more comfortable but he gently tugged you back in without saying anything. "How cute," April teased and you shot her a flustered glare.

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Michaelangelo x Reader 🧡

Warning: Reader has white feathered wings, Reader has long pointed elf like ears, flirting on Mikey's end, Reader wears a bra (ur wearing the bra, idc if ur flat chested)

You chose some dark orange sweatpants, a black sports bra, a grayscale jacket that was unzipped, and black some high top boots. Snagging your keys, you grabbed your bike and lugged it down stairs. You took your time cycling to the sewer, cool evening air breezing against your skin. When you finally made it to the manhole, you chained up your bike and jumped down. Stuffing your hands in your pockets you waltzed in. "Hey April," you said, nodding her way. "Heard you had a rough day, angelcakes," Mikey's voice came from the couch and you went to go sit down beside him, fluffing your wings softly to make yourself more comfortable. "Some kid puked in my hair. So I had to shower practically as soon as I got home," you muttered and Mikey scrunched up his face in disgust. "That's disgusting. But at least you're all squeaky clean now!" He said, nudging you softly with his shoulder. "Want something to eat? We got pizza." He offered and you brightened, helping yourself to the food in front of you.

"Need your wings preened again?" Mikey asked after a few minutes of silence as he gamed. You raised a brow and laughed softly, "Enjoyed preening me?" You questioned, tone light and playful. Mikey shrugged. "I don't know. It kind of felt nice to take care of you in such a way. I'm assuming it's not exactly something you let everybody do," he replied, glancing over at you for a brief moment and grinning. You laughed softly and shook your head. "No I don't. Honestly I was joking when I asked you to preen my wings. But you seemed so eager to help that I just kind of, let you. Only other people who've preened me are my parents and April on occasion. But she's not exactly too good at it." You heard April give a "hey!" from across the room and you and Mikey couldn't help but laugh. "But to answer your question, no. They don't need preened. I wouldn't mind a message though." You said, looking up at him. "Your insides or outsides, angel?" He questioned and you almost choked on your pizza in shock. "Michelangelo!" You scolded but you were smiling all the same and he couldn't help but absolutely loose it.

"I'm sorry, I had to," he said before setting his controller down to grab one of your arms, thumb messaging at your wrist. You almost instantly moaned and let you head roll back in delight, ears drooping in relaxation. "Maybe I can make you loud moaner," he teased and you took the liberty of taking your free arm to smack his chest. "I'm going to kill you, Mikey. I swear," you giggled out, wrapping your wings around you gently. "Ok, ok. I'm sorry, (Y/N). I'll stop," he said. Twenty minutes later, you had fallen asleep on the couch from the message he had given you. Mikey returned to his video games, chuckling and already brainstorming new ways to fluster you.

Anyways so that's that. It's cringy, I know. Trust me, I know. Lmfao. Enjoy tho.

[seaslugfanclub]

Hi! I really love your Disney Villains x reader content! Especially the "Scaredy Villain", "Time in the Spotlight", and the "No, I'm their favorite" one. Speaking of that, I remember Hades mentioned that he was one of the first to meet Y/N, which got me wondering, what were Y/N's first interactions with each of the villains like? 🤔

Once again, I love all of your works! And I can't wait to see you do more in the future at your own pace and time! 😊 💕

So I’ve actually gotten a couple asks about this, so decided to answer all of them with this! Since all the Villains meeting (Y/N) would take way too long to write in one post, I’ve decided to make this a series of one shots, so stay tuned!

I, of course have to start with Hades. (Since his introduction is my most fleshed out) but I’m slowly but surely getting all the Villains interactions in order! Hope you enjoy 💙

Meeting the Villains: Prt. 1

Hades

TW: panic attack

—————————————

It was (Y/N)s first day working at the Disney Parks, and they were on the verge of the panic attack of the century

The crying babies, excited children, sickly smell of sweat mixed with the food stands, multicolored rides, and the unrelenting heat all melted together to create the perfect sensory overload

They felt like they’re about to throw up. Or pass out. Or throw up and then pass out. Screw employee training, they needed to get out of here.

Near hyperventilation, (Y/N) quickly stumbled to the quietest location they could find, leading them to a skinny alleyway between two buildings. Immediately they got on the ground, putting their head between their legs and taking deep breaths

Slowly (Y/N) began to calm down, the relative silence of the alleyway a balm to their ears, and the nostalgic scent of cigar smoke really helped ground them— wait….

Lifting their head up to make a spare glance to their left made (Y/N) scramble onto their feet. There — hidden in the shadows of the alleyway was the lord of the dead himself, his most lugubriousness, Hades, smoking a lengthy cigar and staring down at (Y/N) with a sardonic grin.

(Y/N)’s heard about these “holograms” Disney released into their parks, hell, it’s all they’ve heard about since they’ve been hired. And sure, (Y/N)’s seen a couple characters from afar as their employment trainer toured them around the park. But to see an actual one up close? This was a first.

Hades looked so… real. The blue flames atop his head flickered into the air, fanned by the light breeze of the afternoon. His skin was chipped and pitted, a similar texture to granite. Even his chiton looked like something spun from the finest silks, his whole body too detailed to be a simple projection of light.

…..

“So are you just gonna stare at me like an idiot, or…?” Hades took a drag of his cigar, blowing the smoke in (Y/N)’s face, causing them to hack in response.

“ *cough*—Sorry! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you, it’s just—“

“Ya first time seeing one of us?” Hades interrupted, “yeah, I figured. And lemme guess, it’s your first day at the circus, huh? Don’t think you’ll last long if you abandon your post because your a little nervous~”

(Y/N) grimaced at Hades jab, retreating into this alleyway was supposed to be a brief respite. Their brain was too fried to think about the consequences of talking back to one of Disneys prized characters, the only thing (Y/N) felt looking up at Hades was indignation

“Oh please, I’m not the only one here who’s supposed to be somewhere else. And smoking??? At THE Disney parks??? It’s my first day, I’ll get off easy, but you? If we’re caught, I’m only gonna get chewed out once.”

A multitude of expressions passed over Hades face. Surprise, anger, disgust, amusement, before finally settling into one of forced resignation. It was a hard pill to swallow knowing he wasn’t the one in charge here. The fucking mouse was.

“Ohoho, I bet. I’m sure any consequence of yours will be dropped if you go off and tattle on me~” Hades seethed, finishing the cigar off in one drag as his flames sparked red.

(Y/N) huffed, going to lean against the wall again, “Are you kidding me? I’m not a narc.” They waved off the imaginary scenario, “I’m here the same reason you are, so why not make a deal. You like those don’t you? If you won’t say anything, I won’t either. Let’s just enjoy what little privacy we can in peace.”

Hades stood in silence for a bit, he didn’t want to sound stereotypical, but this newbie wasn’t like the other park employees he’s had to deal with.

Usually the park members would act one of three ways; either they’d cower in fear, submissive towards his biting remarks (his favorite), they’d fail to see his sentience and pass him off as a lifeless hologram (his least favorite), or act all high and mighty always admonishing anything he enjoys.

But to have someone talk back to him, but not follow the parks rules to a T? Well, Hades had to see where this went.

“Y’know what, kid? It’s a deal.”

————————————————————————

I can’t wait to share with you all what I have planned, I’m so excited!!! I also want to thank you all for your continued support of my work, I seriously didn’t expect so many people to like my silly writing, but here you are!!!

I see all of your asks and I promise I’m working on them! Just expect turnout rate to slow down with my college’s spring semester rolling around❤️

[exhaslo]

Hi! I've been reading off and on and I loved puzzle pieces and I'm excited for Overtime! I do have a ask if you have the time.

The reader is a spider person and has a couple friends and is good at her job in alxmex. (I don't think I spelled that right forgive me.) but when she reports or gets missions from Miguel she clams up and doesn't really talk much just stoic and shy (definitely trying to fight the crush and just staring at him.) and he notices how different it is from the watch footage and what everyone says about reader. Layla figures out she has a crush and tells Miguel. Plot twist though the reader stays late practicing web moves in the gym and goes to the locker room/showers to rense off and change and there's Miguel waiting for her after his shower cause it's Miguel he likes to make people squirm. (I assume the gym locker room/shower there is unisex for reasons only for the plot 👀) So Miguel's there in just towel looking at the reader, and the virgin reader (cause of course she is.) is trying to be polite and not look at him and then chaos can reupt.

The idea popped into my head and I really enjoy your writing so I think it would be really fun to see how you interpret it. In my head I definitely see him going "you can look you know?" And the reader is just refusing and maybe he has to make her. I'll let you decide that lol. Anyway I really love your writing and I hope when you get this you have a good rest of your day or it gets better! 😊

Haha, the plot armor is STRONG with this one! Also, thank you! I'm glad you enjoy my series~

Warning: MINORS DNI, some smut, mentioned of sex, teasing, touch-starved Miguel

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What would it take for your eyes to gaze only at him?

Despite what everyone believes about you, Miguel could only see one side. The shy and quiet you that could barely stutter a word whenever the two of you were alone. Your gaze always avoiding his, but yet, always stares whenever you thought Miguel wasn't looking.

So what would it take for you to open to up him?

This all started with you. Miguel knew that you were always a good worker. Everyone loved you and always praised you, but you always gave Miguel the cold shoulder. At least that was what he thought at first.

Miguel remembered it like it was yesterday. You had done a mission for him and there was barely anyone at the Spider Society. You were so quiet and embarrassed that you stumbled and fell against Miguel when delivering your report.

Your hands against his chest. That sweet voice of yours apologizing profusely as those glowing orbs of yours stared into his. It felt like an eternity. Miguel almost didn't want to let you go. He had wanted you to keep touching him.

It had been weeks since that encounter, and Miguel could only get a brush of your hand ever now and then.

So, what would it take for you to touch him again?

It was getting to the point where Miguel was becoming obsessive. He had started to watch videos of you from your home world. Watching your every lively moment. You weren't quiet to others. Miguel just wanted more of you.

"Ohoho, I think I found something interesting for our little Spider creep."

"Stop calling me that, Lyla." Miguel hissed towards his AI, "What did you find?"

Lyla withheld a snicker as she pulled a video up.

"Sooooo, (Y/N), when are you joining the dating pool?" One of your friends from your world asked.

"Ah-I'm not sure," You said with a light laugh, "There is this one guy I work with...He's kind of my boss, but he is so amazing. You're going to laugh, but I clamp up and can't say a word to him!"

"Liar. You never shut up!"

"My heart just keeps racing whenever I see him! He's so handsome and perfect. I just don't think I'm good enough for someone like him."

"What's his name and how long have you liked him?"

"Miguel and call it cheesy, but it was totally love at first sight. I can't even begin to describe my dreams~"

Miguel felt flustered as he immediately turned the video off. So that was why you kept avoiding him. Unable to hide his smile, Miguel knew that it was going to be much more fun from now on. Hopefully his teasing will get you to open up more.

---------

With a heavy sigh, you scurried your way inside the Spider Society. It had been a long day of both work and crime fighting. Alchemax had you up to your head with paper work, then of course your Rhino decided to cause some havoc in the city.

You were due to a nice shower.

Hearing the alarm go off, you let out another sigh as you accepted the anomaly request on your watch. You entered the different world and nearly gasped as Miguel swung over you. Your face turning bright red as you got a good look at his ass.

Unsure if you should stay or not, you panicked. What if you messed up in front of Miguel?

Deciding to stay, you hurried to Miguel's side. This time the anomaly was a Doc Ock. You scrunched your face up as this Doc Ock used mud like attacks.

"Watch out, (Y/N)!" Miguel called out.

You felt your spider senses tingle as you went to dodge an attack. Before you could move, you felt yourself being pulled. Gasping sharply, you landed in Miguel's arms as you pulled you to safety. His grip tight around your waist.

"You take him from behind, I'll go front." Miguel said.

"A-"

You squeaked in response, unable to say anything. Instead, you followed his lead, trying to forget about his arm around you.

You knew you were going to sleep good tonight.

---------

Miguel had his eyes on you during the whole fight. He wanted to touch you more. Using the fight as an excuse, Miguel kept grabbing your arm, pulling against your waist and even bumping into you. Any kind of touch was what he needed.

Once the Doc Ock was captured, Miguel had you follow him back to the Spider Society. By this time nearly everyone was getting ready to go home.

"Ugh, I need a shower," You whispered, "Um....M-Miguel...G-Give me like....twenty....twenty minutes....p-please?"

God. You sounded so sweet. Miguel knew he was handsome, but to make such a outgoing person like you stutter and freeze was new. Hell, it started to turn him on.

"Sure,"

At this rate, Miguel needed to be the one to make the first move. These little touches here and there weren't going to get you out of your shell. Having an idea of where you were going, Miguel just chuckled as he decided to have some fun.

---------

A shower was definitely what you needed. Washing off the sweat, stress and mud from the way was so refreshing. Letting the water run down your body, you started to recall how Miguel kept touching you during the fight.

This was the most he had ever made contact with you. It was so hot and addicting. Knowing that the place was empty, you decided to give in to your small urges.

Letting your hands roam, you leaned against the shower wall and started to think of Miguel. The way his hands felt against your body. If only they could touch you elsewhere. His deep, charming voice whispering dirty things in your ear.

"Mhm~"

Imagining Miguel finally kissing you. His fingers making a mess of your sex while you cry and beg. How wonderful would that be?

"Sounds like someone needed to destress."

You gasped, recognizing the voice to be Miguel's. Your face was probably a million shades of red as you bend down and tried to hide inside the shower. Though, there really wasn't any use since he knew you were in here now.

"(Y/N)?" Miguel hummed lowly, "It's okay to show your face."

"B-But..." You covered your face, feeling embarrassed, "Sorry,"

"For what?"

Hearing the curtain open, you squeaked and looked up at Miguel. His lower half in a loose towel as he looked down at you with what seemed like a seductive grin.

"How cute. All wrapped up?" Miguel chuckled lowly.

This was the most you've ever had a conversation with him. Registering that you were naked, you tried to close the curtain again, but Miguel stopped you. He bend down to your level, his towel falling off, causing you to look away.

"Don't be shy, (Y/N), you can look."

Your mind was racing a mile a minute. Unable to refuse such a offer, you slowly turned your head to face Miguel. Your whole body had probably turned red from embarrassment as you tried to hide. How could Miguel say something to tempting?

"You're cute," Miguel chuckled as he grabbed your chin, making you look at him, "I like you, (Y/N). I like you a lot."

"Huh?"

Your eyes widen to Miguel's confession. Trying to stutter the words out, you decided to take the leap. Leaning forward, you pecked Miguel's lips to respond to him.

That was a great mistake.

Miguel pinned you against the wall, his lips all over yours. Your body resting against his hips as his hands roamed your body. You weren't sure where to touch him, so you kept your hands around his neck. His tongue ravishing your mouth in the meantime.

Your body arched slightly as you felt his dick poking against your entrance. You wanted to say that this was moving too fast, but at the same time....You wanted him to fuck you.

Stroking your hands against his chest, you felt Miguel groan. He broke the kiss, watching you pant for air.

"Don't stop touching me, (Y/N). I want to see the side of you that everyone else sees."

"Mhm," You still felt shy towards his words, "T-This....This is the side I...I will only show you..."

"Even better," Miguel said with a grin as he captured your lips again.

You whimpered into the kiss, enjoying every second of it. His hands reaching your breasts, giving them a squeeze while he moved his hips to rub his dick against your cunt. You were feeling hot and wet, ready for this to escalate.

"Thank god the showers are still open. MJ and I had a fight so I'm sleeping here tonight." One of the Peters said as they entered the shower room.

Miguel was quick to shut the curtain, covering your mouth with his, wanting to keep you quiet.

"I wish I got into a fight. I got kicked out of my apartment because I couldn't' pay rent in time. I gotta crash here until I get a new place."

Wrapping your arms around Miguel's neck, you gently tugged against his hair to have him stop. Miguel pulled away, smirking down at you. He leaned towards you, nibbling against your ear,

"You really shouldn't have done that," He whispered, "We'll going to continue this in my office."

You rolled your lips inward as you just nodded. Miguel still held onto you, wanting to make sure you knew how hard he was. Covering your face against his chest, you tried your best to hide your smile.

This was the best day ever.

And the fun hadn't even started yet.

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Hope you enjoyed!!

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hello, it me :D

Idk how you want to structure this or how it's gonna sound when I try to type out what's in my brain rn, I do know that I want this to be a full hc tho

Ok. So. I've seen some art here & there of some of the M6 with their own children; mostly just babies but there are a couple older kids in the mix as well. This is where things in my head get weird so bear with me:

I'm thinking this ask could go three ways (I also don't know if Nadia & Portia will be able to fit in to this ask but it is what it is), and you can do just one of the options or all of them, I'll let you choose:

A. M6 reacting to MC telling them they're pregnant

B. M6 & MC mid-pregnancy preparing for the baby

Or C. M6 getting to hold their kid for the first time

Hopefully this makes sense I think it provides an opportunity for incredible wholesomeness whatever you decide :)

The Arcana HCs: M6 during MC's pregnancy

~ ohoho, now this, this is the kind of prompt that makes my heart sing! @themushroomgoesyeet I hope you're ready because I'm doing all three of those suggestions in here, just you wait >:3 - brainrot ~

Other baby-related hcs: M6 when someone hands them a baby

The M6 when the child they have with you is an exact carbon copy of them

-- for the purpose of these headcanons and because I write for a gender-neutral reader, MC is pregnant with a baby that is equal parts their and their LI's DNA. This could have happened the traditional way (depending on how you envision your MC or if you headcanon your LI as trans), or simply by magical means. For my fellow trans men, seahorse dads are still dads! And to my fellow AO3 readers, mpreg is possible. Always. O.O --

Julian

For the first time in his life, he was well and truly speechless

And delighted. In fact, his speechlessness was because of the unforeseen tidal wave of joy that crashed over him as soon as you told him and it knocked all the air out of his lungs

Pulling you into an embrace as soon as he can move again and trembling with excitement: "Really? You're going to have my baby? We're going to be parents? I'm going to be a father? Haha!"

If he was bad about hovering before he's terrible about it now

Detailed research on all potential issues (which leads to him having crippling spirals over all the ways this could go wrong)

Auntie Pasha and Great-Grandma Mazelinka are here for it and so overwhelmingly supportive. It's hard to resist Julian's regular suggestions of bed rest because they make it so feasible

Mazelinka's soup was heavenly for your morning sickness

Julian collected at least three different remedies for every single pregnancy symptom you had and filled multiple notebooks with doctor's observations. Even down to tracking your sleep cycle

He also called in several favors to make sure that at least two other doctors would be available leading up to your due date - one for you and one for the baby. (he still insisted on being the main one)

He managed the birth impressively well - years of medical expertise kicked in and he went full "doctor" mode, keeping a cool head and open communication and anticipating every need

Until he held his child for the first time and had to sit down because his knees gave out. He has a whole new reason to live well

Asra

You know that panicked blushy face they make? Yeah, that was it

You briefly mistook it for horror - you know he likes surprises, but this is something else - but it was really his own panic at suddenly being plunged into a whole new world of emotion and instincts

Their first motion was to reach out and place their hand over your heart to confirm it through your bond, if only because they couldn't get their words to work and they needed that grounding touch

Once he's collected himself, he's over the moon. Is it terrifying? Sure, but it's also going to be the adventure of a lifetime, and it means building a new future and family with you! As parents!

They want to tell Aisha and Salim about it as soon as you're comfortable because they've done this before, they can help. And also because they’re going to be grandparents

Covers you with enchantments to keep you and the baby safe and happy and keeps a growing list of the most unhinged baby names to make you laugh. Faust likes to gently squeeze your bump

Makes every pregnancy craving you have and tries it with you, no matter how weird. He's got three years of practice being your caregiver and his patience for the mood swings is unending

Spends an hour every night with an ear against your baby bump, listening to them grow and thrive

Offers you every type of pain relief they can find. If not for your sake, then for theirs, because seeing you hurt makes them panic

Holds you the whole way through childbirth, no matter how messy, and stays so reassuring and supportive

Scared to hold the baby at first because he's so shaky from emotions. Won't put it down once he does

Nadia

The news is so unexpected that she just can't believe it at first

As in, her brain is genuinely incapable of immediately processing what you've just told her, so she just finishes her task before running it through her head a second time before it sinks in

The loudest gasp you've ever heard, you see her drop her teacup as her hands fly to cover her mouth and she stares at you in surprise

So happy. So, so, so very happy

She was never going to pressure you into having children. Between her driven nature and her ongoing loneliness, she'd resigned herself to never being a mother after marrying Lucio

But oh my! What a wonderful surprise! There's so much to do, she's slightly worried that nine months isn't going to be enough time

She sends for multiple physicians and invites several of them to live in the Palace through the pregnancy, and begins the interview process for your baby's pediatrician as well. She wants you healthy

Has the time of her life decorating the baby's future room and ends up getting so emotional looking at all the tiny clothes and shoes

Refuses to let you sleep by yourself. She doesn't want you to feel limited on a day-to-day basis at all, but she doesn't like you being alone for too long, especially during such quiet and precious hours

Prefers to hold off on giving her family any news or updates until she's had at least a few days to let it sink it. Each update she does send provokes a tidal wave of letters and advice and offers, not to mention Grandpa Namar's tear-stained letters of excitement

Has to hide sobs when she holds her child and announces its name

Muriel

Straight up disassociates. Not due to any fault of yours, it's just a lot. Especially given his own context for parenting (or lack thereof)

"Muriel, I'm pregnant." soul gets yoinked through the stratosphere

You know him well enough to expect him to need a moment, so you're not surprised when he shakily nods, takes a deep breath, and tells you he'll be back before dark before walking off into the trees

Deeply apologetic once he gets back because in hindsight ghosting you might not have been the most appropriate response

He's happy, if not deeply anxious, but he gets more and more excited with every pregnancy update

He makes the baby's crib himself, seeking out the tree with the best wood, chopping it up, designing and cutting the pieces, carving and sanding and painting them with the utmost care

As your due date gets closer he starts reverting to an old habit of his, waking up several times through the night with a need to keep watch for any dangers or discomforts and make sure you're warm

You wake up to this sometimes, with him sitting quietly next to you in bed, one large hand resting protectively on your belly, a quiet smile on his face as he stares at the cradle on the other side of the room and counts every tiny kick the baby lands on his warm palm

He doesn't hesitate to tell Asra, Nadia, (and yes, Julian) about your pregnancy, because he knows they'll be able to help you in ways he can't. Watching you in pain during birth is almost traumatic for him

Doesn't say a word when you hand him his baby, just looks back and forth between you and them in delight and awestruck joy

Portia

Screams. Legitimate, jaw dropped, lung-deep screaming

Yes it's because she's excited!!! You're pregnant! That's amazing!!

Funnily enough, she doesn't bring up telling anybody else until several weeks have gone by or until you suggest it. She's used to keeping secrets and this is so special she's still finding words for it

She's also more familiar with what pregnancy can look like, and she doesn't want to make any big announcements with you too early

Borderline obsessive about making sure that you're properly fed and cared for. She keeps every snack stocked, gives you massages every night, asks you about any symptoms and offers relief

She ends up inviting everyone over for dinner so you two can break the news to them together, and if one Devorak wasn't loud and emotional enough, two of them are almost too much for the roof

Mazelinka is quick to offer her services, whether that be bringing soup, taking you two (three?!) to Nevivon so the grandmas can help, grabbing one of the grandmas and bringing them here, etc

Pepi develops a new habit of bringing you stolen fish at least once a day to make sure your growing kitten is properly nourished. the smell doesn't help your morning sickness but you appreciate it

Portia cries every time she sits down to work on another onesie or baby blanket or cloth diaper, which is several times a day

When it's time for you to give birth, she holds your hands as tightly as you hold hers and nearly knocks a doctor out of the way to catch the baby

Full-on happy sobbing when she holds them. Gets jealous anytime someone besides you gets to hold them longer than her

Lucio

Assumes you're joking until you tell him otherwise because what

It's not that he's against it, but realistically speaking he knows that one of him is already a lot to handle. And you're cooking another??

Once you convince him, his exuberant yells startle flocks of birds from the treetops in a half-mile radius. Speaking of trees ...

You two are journeymen. Where are you going to settle down?

You end up picking a spot close enough to Vesuvia for your old friends to be able to help, in a town where you know you'll have a fresh start. Buying a cottage is hard when you're used to a palace

Lucio occasionally remembers his mother's comments about how her pregnancy with him made the Red Plague seem like a summer cold, and then he panics about how much pain you must be in

Sits bolt-upright in bed four months in to your pregnancy in a cold sweat because it just hit him that your belly bump is actually an entire tiny human that's half him and half you and it's miraculous

Starts talking to your bump almost constantly after that

Everything from what the dogs are doing, to the right way to start a fire, to the best types of cookies - he's telling it all to the bump

Does he know, logically, that your baby isn't likely to be born missing an arm because of his amputation? Yes. Does he still have an irrational fear of that happening? Also yes.

Has such a hard time controlling his frustration during the birth when you're in pain and there's nothing he can do about it

Wraps his golden arm in a baby blanket and doesn't care about the mess the first time he holds them and presses a kiss to their head

[blitzor0de0]

Hihi! Can I pretty please get a Saint Peter x sinner!reader where reader visits heaven with Vaggie and Charlie. Peter and her (or them if readers written as gendernutural) kind of have a love at first sight moment? One shot if possible!

-self proclaimed anon ✖︎

ohoho I know of you anon!! Hopefully this is everything you wanted, made it a life at first sight to a small date between the two !!

cw: none really, brief mention of biblical saint Peter, no y/n used, gn! reader but is referred to as "pretty" once

word count: 1.4k

part 2 part 3 part 4

Holy Ground (Saint Peter x Sinner!Reader)

Now when Charlie suggested that you should join her and Vaggie to visit Heaven.. To say you were surprised would be quite the understatement. You ended up in Hell for a reason so the mere thought of seeing those pearly gates, well it was rather exciting! …And nerve-wracking.

Your belief in Charlie's venture for sinners to be redeemed was an interesting one for sure, a little sceptical, but seeing how enthused and determined the Princess was, well.. You were swayed, and hopefully redemption was on your near future bucket list.

Bidding a quick farewell to your fellow hotel inhabitants you stepped through the portal to face the blinding golden rays of Heaven and its gates.

Dumbfounded, you stared at the exterior, jaw slightly agape not quite fully listening to the couple besides you.

The only thing to break your focus,

“Hiya! Welcome to Heaven. Can I get your name, please?”

Snapping your head in an almost alarming rate to the source of the voice, you found yourself growing increasingly flustered.

The man before you was gorgeous, stunning even.. You weren't even sure if there were any words in the English lexicon to describe the ethereal man before you.

Turquoise eyes, curly blond hair, and an overly cheery, yet silly voice. You had hardly noticed the conversation between Charlie and the keeper of the key.

It was only when Vaggie nudged you with a quirked brow did you regain any sense of normalcy.

In a mild act of bravery you asked his name, it was only polite to do so. With a small surprised expression upon his face alongside a hardly noticeable blush, he went to answer but got interrupted by Sera instead, a small pout taking over his features as the attention was shifted to the two Serafim.

Saint Peter…

His name echoed in your mind. You knew him.. Well of him, one of Jesus’ apostles or something of the sort.. He was a lot different than you expected him to be…

a lot different

You gained a little bit more of intel about him through his song. Overly peppy, charismatic.. a little flirty too, it was rather surprising. Also the moaning during the song.. It felt almost sinful for an angel to do, or so you thought.

So when you, Vaggie, and Charlie split off to venture Heaven’s plaza, you decided it was only fair to scout down the only man who piqued your interest.

Thankfully, he wasn't stationed at his post, opting to reside at the ice cream plaza, sneaking up behind him and spoke a soft “Hi.”

Giggling, you watched him jolt in surprise as he turned to face you, a soft smile growing upon his features.

“Hiya! You're that Sinner accompanying.. Lucifer’s daughter, aren't you? I'm Saint Peter.. though you already know that! You're actually the first person ever to have asked my name at the gates so it took me for quite a surprise!! Oh I'm getting ahead of myself, what's your name?” He rambled.. Cute.

After giving your name to the angel, his smile only grew. “That's a delightful name! How did a pretty thing like you end up in Hell, from what I've seen so far you're up to Heaven's standards.” Peter spoke, subtly flirting.

It was rare for Peter to come in contact with sinners, the thought of how corrupt they must've been in life sent shivers down his spine, but there must've been something different about you.

What you didn't notice when you first arrived were turquoise eyes peering at you from the second your presence was known in Heaven.. Peter was enamoured. Sure everyone in Heaven was hot, he even stated so through song format, but there was a certain sparkle in your eyes when seeing the pearly gates which filled Peter with a sense of pride, his heart almost fluttered.

But then you asked his name.

An act of common courtesy, yet something in Peter’s millennia of existence had never experienced, people were typically so excited with the fact that they made it to Heaven, or wanted to see God, Jesus, a former lover or family member, even Adam. He was just the Keeper of the Key, what did he matter to them?

So asking for his name at the gates, well you may as well have just proposed on the spot, thank the lord he was able to hide his excitement and fluster.

Back to the present, your small blush wasn't unnoticed by the angel, in fact it only egged him on, “Come, sit! Have some ice cream with me, any flavours you prefer, we've got everything here!”

“Everything?” You questioned, taking a seat opposite the angel.

“Mhm! Anything you can imagine we've got. Pistachio, butter pecan, mint choco chip, birthday cake, anything!”

There was that sparkle in your eye again. “Woah..” You spoke breathlessly, “Down in Hell we, uh.. Don't really have ice cream… or anything particularly edible like there was on Earth. In fact I can't even remember the last time I even had ice cream.” You awkwardly laughed, causing Peter’s eyes to widen.

“Seriously?! I had heard things were… forgive my language, rather shitty down there.. But nothing edible?” He looked dumbfounded, how did you survive down there? He quickly perked up. “Well then! I insist, pick as many flavours as you like! My treat.”

“No no, you don't have t-” You were quickly cut off.

“My treat!”

Nodding, you chose the flavours you so desired, and promptly, the sundae glasses were placed in front of the two of you.

Taking your first bite, it was as if you were seeing Heaven… In a figurative sense, you were physically there after all. It was everything you had ever imagined and more.

Peter, watching you with a soft smile, was truly thinking how you ended up in Lucifer's grasp. You were as angelic as it came.

Conversation came easily to the two of you, even explaining the reason for your visit.. Rehabilitation for sinners?

It echoed in Peter's mind. Interesting, very interesting. It was never something that crossed his mind that Hell was overpopulated.

Enthused, stars in his eyes, Peter expressed his encouragement for the three of you. “Seriously? This is huge!! Would add a tonne of workload on me but, if anything, I think the first redeemed soul should be you! You've already shown so much potential, and frankly, I think you deserved to be here in the first place! With the evidence you mentioned Charlie has, there's no doubt that Sera will have to agree! Ooh this is so exciting!” He exclaimed, wings fluttering to match his energy.

“I know! I didn't have a lot of faith in Charlie at the beginning but, that girl is incredibly determined, I won't let this be another failed dream for her, she deserves this..” You spoke fondly, a small sigh escaping your lips before your eyes were filled with shock and realisation of Peter's words.

“Wait. I. What? You seriously think I could manage to get up here? I.. I'm not so sure about that, I haven't really shown any signs of change, or redemption.. I've just been myself the whole time I've been in Hell, well.. besides adapting to, well, everything.”

Peter could only flash you a smile, “Yeah. You deserve it, I'm not sure about these other residents of the hotel you've mentioned, but I'm sure they could make it up here with Charlie's guidance.”

You were stunned, if an important angel like Saint Peter could get on Charlie's side, then it would be no problem getting the Serafim to agree too! Maybe.

“Well, thank you, Peter.. Truly, I'm glad someone here agrees.” You smiled at him, arguably the most genuine smile you had held in your afterlife.

Taking your hand, Peter pressed a small kiss to the back of your hand. “It's no problem at all, anyways, that meeting should be starting soon, right? Best be getting there, Sera isn't fond of late comers.”

Flustered, you stood, holding your hand with your other, a small tingle lingering from his kiss. “R..Right! Well.. Hopefully I'll see you soon, Peter. Thank you”

And with that you left with a little pep in your step, which didn't go unnoticed by Peter, head resting in his hand as he watched you leave.

You made a mental promise to yourself ensuring your path to redemption came before anything else from then on.

[m4rs-ex3]

(even louder) trailer screaming part 2

the adrenaline i've had all day is making me crash hard so i'm tired so idk if i'll actually be screaming louder but like. internally i am

well starting off strong

oh fucking boy

first i'm gonna say i love the way he said "however ~vile~" like slay

and then i know that like. this feels like such an obvious/lame explanation but i do not believe this is "real". like of course there's the fact that the cube. yknow. isn't like that in real life that's just how it looks in his fever dream. a lame ass reason for sure but honestly my real reason for not believing this is that there's no way they'd put THIS reveal in the trailer. there's a distinctly lower number of new clips in this trailer then there has been for seasons past, which could be them building hype for the end of the arc(s), but still i have a feeling that there's only so much they were willing to put out (which excites me btw), so i doubt this would be one of those things, yk? i don't know anything ok im tired

could be another dream, could be hallucinations, could be anything

i do find it incredibly interesting that he's clearly in a xadian forest surrounded by giant mushrooms tho (zubeia?)

i will say this i believe

(edit: it isn't a trailer analysis of mine unless i don't realize something was reused. this is from 6x03)

fuck she relapsed. but. b-ut also..ooo..w..

iiiiiiiiiii

we're all fairly certain that's human aaravos (which didn't even occur to me until i read one of the comments that shows you how observatory i am) and............... well i suppose it was inevitable. i've personally never really thirsted for aaravos; of course i get it but just can't relate. and now.............. oh my god this is the hottest person i have ever seen in my life. i've been awoogaing from the minute i saw him and damnit you can't make me stop

considering the following shot (also because it makes sense) that this is the spell that brought back all the spirits, but it makes me question the shot of aaravos standing in the valley of the graves cackling as the spirits surround him, because that just gives me very "mwuahaha we've just unleashed them" so idk. this is me trying to convince myself that that's not actually aaravos so i can drool over him without a little shame

ohoho this is exciting and fucking petrifying. that is a freeze spell if i've ever seen one, so it seems we have soren, TERRY !!, and allen rushing to presumably stop them, and then aanya kneeling over lujanne's body!!! yippee!

may i just say that the location zip zapping is hurting my brain. like callum and rayla both go from the nexus to katolis and everyone in katolis goes to the banther lodge and then callum ends up in a random xadian forest but also akiyu's grotto for some reason meanwhile rayla goes to the silvergrove but she also ends up in lux aurea with soren and coruvs who were with ez and aanya in the crystal cavern but ez and aanya were also at the valley of the graves but soren and aanya are also at the nexus where claudia and aaravos and terry are but before/after that they were/are first at the valley of the graves and also a xadian forest but then terry was in a different seemingly not-xadian forest and i need to lie down

in addition to the Cave Fuckers we also keep seeing this mf with BAT WINGS??? HELLO????

ok i know i sound like an edgy middle schooler but i'm sorry this is the most exciting shot in the trailer for me. what can i say blood excites me. my favorite characters covered in blood? even better. short king ram with that sickass head tilt? fucking hell to the fucking yeah (i'm choosing to ignore the way he literally went rawr XD immediately after)

this is another one where there's so much to process like as aforementioned we're in a xadian forest and terry's here looking perfectly content so assuming that he is abandoning ship (which is supported by the nexus shot) this is before that??

also as aforementioned callum in akiyu's grotto which is SO out of left field but whatever

and akiyu is also here. on the ground perhaps. good sign

this is irrelevant but. look at that lil face. hehe

ALSO AA IM STUPID AND AM ONLY JUST NOW REALIZING THIS BUT THE FIRE IS CLAUDIA'S YOU CAN SEE FROM THE BG OF HER DRAGON TRANSFORMATION SHE DEF THERE TOO AAKSDHFKJAHSKJDFHIASDHFLJKHSDKLFHKJSAHDLFK IM FO FUCKING EXCITED YOU HAVE NO IDEA HWO LONG AND HOW BADLY IVE NEEDE A PROPER CALLUM V CLAUDIA SHOW DOEWN EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

also it's giving

[sideshow-cellophane-blog]

Wyll's Enchanted Boots

Set somewhere in acts 1/2, once the group is more comfortable with each other. Astarion is a little sh!t prankster

"What did he do this time?"

"Enchanted Wyll's boots," Karlach snorted. "Poor guy can't get them off."

Shadowheart sneered. "He's going to give away our location if they don't keep it down."

"You want to get in the middle of their prank war, go ahead. They've been obsessed recently. But I think Gale or Tav cast something that soundproofed the camp before they left. Pretty sure we've all been making noise."

"Help! HELP! Get these things ohooooofffff! GaHA! TICKLES! IT TICKLES! Oh my GAHAHADS! HEEEEELP!" 

"No one will save you, darling fool," Astarion was watching Wyll roll on the ground struggling to remove the cursed boots. His smile was smug and satisfied - Wyll had been especially sassy and righteous during their travels that week and Astarion had had enough. He was sitting in a chair above the downed fighter swirling a wine glass with the occasional sip. "Another few minutes and that will have made up for all of those comments on my rat diet."

"Feheheathers! Th-thousands of feathers!"

"Yes dear, I'm sure it feels that way!"

Shadowheart shuddered, but she had weighed the options in her mind. "Oi! Astarion! Those were a good pair of boots. Why did you need to waste them with a curse like that?"

The vampire put a hand to his chest in false hurt. "This? A waste? I think not dear, I am more than satisfied with the results. Wyll, darling fool that he is, may have stepped into them unwillingly but now whoever wants to laugh themselves silly can do so anytime they please. It only lasts as long as you can keep them on…" He chuckled darkly.

"And will it be your turn after he manages to get them off?" She raised a brow. 

"I'd kinda like to try," Karlach shrugged. 

"Then pull them off meeeee! HaHAhahahaaa!" Wyll wailed.

"Nah, looks too intense. Or are you that sensitive?" She teased. "You walk around camp with a crop top Wyll, can't say I blame Astarion for getting ideas."

"And he has an extra pair of normal shoes lying around somewhere," Astarion waved his hand. "Unless they're enchanted too and Gale ate them...Hm. Heh. Heheh. Good luck fighting whilst laughing your arse off."

Shadowheart clicked her tongue. "It has been mere minutes, and he is crying."

"Heeeeeeelp!"

"Enough Astarion," Karlach laughed. "He's had enough."

"Alright, alright," Astarion sighed and set his glass down. "Hold still darling. Stop kicking your - hey! Stop kicking for a minute! Yes, thank you. Excellent self control. Let me pull the left off first…that's it, dear. Here you go, Karlach. You slip it on and it'll start tickling after a few moments. I'm only giving you one boot, otherwise you may get too excited and blow us up, you sweet touch-starved barbarian. Now Wyll, if you kick me again I'm leaving this one on….Alright goooood….Aaaaaand you're free!" He stood back up with a delighted smile and offered the other boot to Shadowheart. "Curious?"

"Hells no," She crossed her arms. 

"HEH! Heheheh. Haha, oh my, heheh, ohoho!" Karlach broke out into higher pitched giggles than anyone would have thought. "Hehehey! This isn't bahahad!...This is nihihice! H-how ticklish are you Wyll? Heheh!"

Wyll stayed on the ground as he watched his teammates and friends have fun. "I'm," he gasped, "I'm happy…at least one person…can enjoy that torture device…heheh…"

"Two people," Astarion reclined back on his chair like a cat. "I'll leave the pair by Halsin's tent when they come back and then we can get a proper show. You'll be thanking me."

Shadowheart looked down at the boot, up at Karlach who had taken a seat on the ground and was giggling, and sighed as she sat down beside her. "A kind gift you've given her," She said to Astarion. "But I'm curious as to why you want to see us laugh?"

"Better a smile on your face and cheer in the camp than slowly angering ourselves to murder darling, cruel pranks lead to cruel actions," Astarion set his glass down and stood. He spoke from experience with his spawn 'siblings.' "Now then. I'm going to-"

Wyll grabbed his ankle with a playful look in his eye. "Going to what?"

"Going to escape your grasp," He shook his leg, and when that didn't work he bent over to unwork Wyll's fingers around his ankle. "Going to…to just sliiiiide myself out of here while you loons have your fun…"

"Oh I think he deserves some form of payback for that," Shadowheart smirked and helped Wyll pull the vampire's legs out from under him so he landed face-first on the ground. "Us loons do want to have our fun."

Astarion yelped and tried to scramble away again, but he soon joined Karlach in a giggle fit as the pair squeezed his legs. Wyll was working on pulling off one of his shoes as Astarion did everything in his power to not actually kill the two. "H-hey now! I, heh, I thought thaHAT you'd prank me some other wahay! Gehet off yohou weirdos! AHEH! HEE! N-not the kneHEES! HEE!"

"You've been pranking us with laughter for weeks and we're the weirdos?" Shadowheart took more pleasure than she should have from making Astarion squeak. He was on the ground squeaking from their pinching and scribbling into the backs of his knees.

"It's only fair, Astarion! Stop kicking, you know you deserve to laugh just as hard as I did! C'mon Fangs," It took a few seconds, but Wyll managed to tug the enchanted boot over Astarion's one foot and sat on the pair of legs so he couldn't pull it off. "Karlach, get his other one!...Karlach?"

She appeared to be off in her own world, enjoying the teasing magic.  

Astarion's giggles became consistent and louder. Not that being pinned and forced to take their revenge helped, but he had not anticipated the boot actually tickling so much. Shadowheart was also on his waist pinching his sides from behind with her slender fingers now. Embarrassed, he hid his face in the crook of an arm and tried shooing her hand away with the other. He shot both back down when she slid them into his armpits, and they were pinned there making him cackle. He could only writhe on the ground and laugh at their mercy - yet he would take this over Cazador's punishments any day. His teammates weren't interested in hurting him when he acted out.

This was fun.

Wyll had decided to grab Astarion's free foot. Holding it by the ankle on the ground, he scratched his nails over the sole.

Not so fun. The nails were far worse than the feathers the boot tickled with.

Wyll exclaimed, "The Blade of Frontiers always finishes his fights! Give in yet, fiend?"

Astarion arched his back, raising his head high. Tears prickled the corners of his eyes and he had the largest grin only Shadowheart could see from the angle she sat at. "Yes, YEHEHES! GET OHOHAHAFF!"

And they did. 

Shadowheart patted his back when she slid off, and Wyll got off of his legs. "Need help with the boot?" 

Still giggling, the spawn pulled himself up and started to pull the enchanted item off with far more ease than Wyll had been able to. The other boot was tossed into his lap, and he saw Karlach cross-legged wiping her own eyes. 

"That was fun!" She exclaimed. "Haven't been touched like that before. Thanks, Astarion. I'll borrow those again." 

He coughed and snuck quick glances to Shadowheart, who was smirking at him on her knees, and Wyll, who was still dangerously close to his feet. When they made eye contact he wiggled his fingers in the air teasingly. "Juvenile pranks don't go unpunished, Astarion. Truce?"

They won't hurt you. They're having fun.

I'M having fun.

He pulled himself together after a second, pulling the smirk back over his face as a familiar mask. "How about well deserved pranks? You've been a brat this week Wyll, and I'm not above making you laugh as hard as you do your enemies."

"Tickling enemies is my thing!" He shot back. "You got these ideas from Gale and I!"

As they bickered, Karlach plucked the boots back from Astarion and grinned at Shadowheart. "I'll put these by Halsin's tent. It'll sure be a sight when they get back. I'm going to go sharpen my blades before these two start tickling each other again."

"I'll join you," As Shadowheart stood, Astarion indeed leaped onto Wyll and tackled him to the ground. Straddling him, he dug into the bare skin Wyll's cropped top exposed and loud laughter once again filled the camp. 

She smiled. Without realizing it, Astarion was great at team building.

[bugs1nmybrain]

Fem!Shigaraki Headcanons

Turning my f/os into girls is so therapeutic I'm considering even making one-shots. Fml

Warnings: fem reader, fem Shiggy, NSFW (18+) sex stuff!, bras and period kind of talk, most of these don't even apply to a relationship, not proofread

Shiggy as a girlie? What a silly lil gal

Personality-wise she's not different than Tomura, but she may be more prone to sadness because of the differences in social upbringing that girls go through. Male Tomura likely thinks he's too ballsy to cry

Angry cries

But she's feisty and angry

A true femcel

She's still a great gamer and blows away people online when they find out she's a girl because misogyny is very smelly in the gaming community. "Is that a girl in the chat??" Tomura: "Cope with it fuckface."

I think girl Tomura would be very jumpy for some reason. Being startled would be so easy for her. I also mean in general though, like she has a lot of pent-up emotions in her that she has to throw it all out through hyperactivity

Paces around the apartment mumbling to herself when she's stressed

Has no idea how to go about relationships because she feels very insecure. She doesn't see herself as an attractive woman because of all her scars, dry skin, and moles, so she doesn't feel like she has a chance with anyone

She fucking hates fashion media, and seeing some perfect model on a billboard is enough to make her start itching in insecurity

It's actually very easy for her to like someone romantically, but she doubts that they'd ever like her, too, so she just starts being mean and nasty

She's very bitter

She has a voice that many would call a "witchy-bitch" voice, but it's cute esp when she's getting excited about something she's happy about

once you get her to laugh she's all yours

her laugh is so contagious and the whole apartment complex is hearing that

So when she started dating you she feels confused and undeserving. She's very flirty and likes spending time with you but she withdraws for a bit because she gets paranoid that you suddenly hate her and find her annoying

BPD coded

Throws shit when she's angry

And yes, she could just disintegrate stuff, but where's the fun in that?

girl musk

Shiggy would likely be about 5'4 as a girl, and I say this because in many countries the average female height is 5 inches below the average male height, and Shigarki is 5'9.

Before her AFO surgery she looked very weak and thin, but after she starts to fill out more

Her titties are about a smaller C cup before her upgrade and goes up a cup after her upgrade. They sag a bit and have itch scars. She likes wearing push-ups to make her feel more compact (I notice that Shiggy likes tight clothes).

Her ass fills out more after her surgery but not by much, she's kind of petite in that department. Her hip-to-waist ratio will fool you

Her periods are HORRIBLE and I mean DANGEROUS

She's in so much pain!!!

Her cramps are unlike anything because of all the stress she endures and it's just her natural body doing its thing. They're so bad that she pukes and can faint if it's too bad. She has to wear pads because she bleeds very heavily, so tampons aren't doing it

She gets very angry and depressed during this time, and if you poke fun at her and do the "ohoho is it that time of month??" you are dead

please tell her to go take a shower during this time she will stink

Likely has endometriosis and is also definitely anemic because of all the bloodloss and malnutrition

She resembles her female relatives quite a bit; her mom, Nana, her sister, etc.

Sometimes she'll wear eyeliner!! Not always but if she's trying to look nice for a PLF meeting or something she'll put a little wing on her eyes.

nsfw time

She's a switch but loves to bottom

Fucking RAIL her she loves it

The first time you fuck it's likely her first time, and she's soaked so bad that you have to get a towel to clean up all the mess

But actually, you might occasionally need lube if you're using a dildo for her because she gets dry when she's extremely stressed or for no exact reason sometimes

clingggyyyyy

she will hang off of you once you're done and get all sappy about it

"i looove you, you're the only person I'll ever love."

The next morning, "morning, loser"

will bite you

Moans loud

No matter what gender Shigaraki is, Shiggy loves boobies

Will definitely ask you to do very perverse things with her

will ask u to rub boobies together

she is a middle schooler at heart

mommy issues still apply but if she was with a guy daddy issues would come out too

will call you mommy or daddy just to make you mad

She has the widest smile with her crooked chompers but she's so pretty when she's genuinely smiling

[spotaus]

So i had another new age thought. Also yes hi i am back again and i just like sending you asks lmao.

Anyway. Remember how we agreed that once nightmare trusted and knighted killer he would be send on a mission to get more info/stuff/reminders of ccino's past life?

And how before we agreed he would find it boring?

Now with the whole crush and in love situation

Killer would be EXCITED for this mission

Finding stuff about ccino?! His family?! Sign him the fuck up- wait.what will you do with that information?

Nightmare: safeguard it obviously?

Killer: okay cool! When do i leave?

Because if nightmare was gonna destroy it killer would have 100% hidden the info away and reconsider those running away fantasies- I MEAN! plans again.

That was all. That was the thought lmao.

Ohoho- Killer would be SO pumped for it- I can't believe I forgot that with the crush plot line he'd be super curious... the him abd Ccino not getting along plotting is definitely more of a farce now, so ofc he'd be invested!

And... you can't tell me this man didn't immediately snoop. Like, he knows it's bad, he knows he shouldn't, but Ccino is one big mystery to him so of course he's going to try and find out more! And he gets a peek at the names of his parents, the old bakery they used to run, where he used to live, the whole nine yards. Do you think he found the death certificates of his parents and saw the cause of death was a housefire? He's pretty sure Ccino would've been really young when it happened, too. Do you think he went to the address out of curiosity and saw that the lot was still empty? (Taboo to rebuild atop the ashes of sonething burnt by the King, you know) Do you think he got a sense of what happened, even if he really doesn't know at all?

I think we've discussed it before, but Killer is all the more protective over Ccino and even more curious after this mission. He has no right, he knows that, but he can't help but try to look after him. Just!!! These guys!!!!

Also, I didn't get around to doodling them properly, but since I don't want to constantly draw Killer's armor? Here's his and Ccino's comfy/general clothes, as well as the front of Ccino's uniform! (Poorly sketched as always, haha-)

Killer likes to wear loose clothes, especially jackets. (I forgor to add the gold clasps on the jacket...) Tighter clothes feel like they confine him too much, almost like claustrophobia. For meta-story? The long jackets + oversized clothes are just a habit from his days in the temple, and then later when he and Chara had to steal clothes sizes too large so they could grow into them. I also think that Killer, later in the story, really only has his soul circular when he's in public/training, anytime he's comfy with his family (or ofc Ccino is near) it leans towards soul-shaped. His eyelight likes to pop into place when he's with Ccino :] (<- I WILL forget to draw/write like this. So like. Nbd.)

Ccino's casual fit is usually only for his days off, market shopping, and when he's alone in his cottage. He always keeps his apron and work shirt the same (honestly Nightmare wouldn't mind, but Ccino still worries about being punished for stuff like uniform screw-ups) and he wears a more casual pair of pants and a white shawl which fits him like a scarf now. (Maybe, if I wanted to be angsty, then it was given to him shortly after Nightmare came to power, and back then he was so stick thin it wrapped around his shoulders? Now he wears it as a sign of his healing <3) also!! Decided Ccino inherited hid mother's 'sleepy' eyeshape, where his sockets curve like he's sad, but that's just how he looks. Gives him a calm and gentle appearance.

Ignore that they're missing their shoes 🙏 I'm very close to convincing myself to let Ccino stay barefoot/sandals because tbh if I were him I'd be wearing the least shoes possible, but he's also very sensible so like. Probably sandals for him. Killer probably wears short boots or his sturdy armor boots? I couldn't see him taking the time to lace up any sort of complex sandals lmao-

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Ohoho werewolf!jason is NOT gonna be pleased when he finds out about Bruce’s attitude there towards reader

"It's not an unreasonable request," Alfred said reasonably.

"I'm not saying that it is. But there are safety concerns and-"

"Oh good lord," Alfred snapped. "A few paper back novels and some things to entertain herself with is hardly going to hurt anything at this point."

"Alfred-"

"I'd like to point out that she's not objecting to her captivity. Only to being bored while being held."

"Your point?"

"That as strong as they are, it's hardly likely that any hastily constructed room could hold her if she really wanted out."

"Hn."

"She isn't a prisoner," Alfred added. "So far as we've found there's no history of criminality- aside from a couple speeding tickets. For god sake, she taught kindergarten."

"Hn."

"All I'm saying-"

Bruce held up his hand and scrubbed his other over his face with a sigh. "We'll only keep them in their rooms during the full moon- Jason was a little too excited about hitting the narrows yesterday."

"Very sensible," Alfred said, satisfied. "I'll have a bedroom made up."

[brotherwtf]

All I have is your fire and 25

ohoho!! two things I get to talk about!!

all I have is your fire is my longform detective Gale and firefighter John au! you can find the first two chapters on AO3 here.

I'm currently working on the third chapter rn, which is basically more shenanigans and maybe, MAYBE, them realizing they have some more feelings for each other 😈😈 updates are gonna be a little slower than usual, but I'm gonna try to get the chapter out soon 🥰

25 is my "what if John and Gale never went down" fic! I named it that bcs of the 25 missions required to fully complete a tour, thought that was very clever lmao.

I saw someone say that Gale went down on his 22nd mission or smth like that, and John went down on his 6th or 8th (I'm not entirely sure, I think the numbers aren't exactly precise), which meant that if Gale never went down he would have gotten to go home a lot sooner than John would, cue the absolute nonsense of John missing the shit out of Gale when he goes back stateside

of course there's some cuteness with Gale's 25th mission bash, John hangs off of him the entire night and Gale has to gently urge him not to kiss him, but John is just so goddamn ecstatic that Gale doesn't have to fly in this damn war any more

but there's also so much angst and worry, Gale consistently worries about John flying and never making it home, and absolutely loses his mind when he hears word that the required missions to complete a tour becomes thirty before John even completed his 25, lots of mess there

but John survives all thirty fucking missions, witnessed the end of the war in Thorpe Abbotts and misses Gale so much be can't drink anything bcs he thinks he'll throw up, but he's going home, he's going to see Gale 🥹🥹

these fics are honestly going to be super fun to write, I'm excited to share them with you!!

[howlingday]

Soo chowder x panini is Ruby x oscar?

Ask and ye shall receive.

------------------------------------------------

Ozpin: Oscar, take note of the girl in front of you.

Ruby: (Scratches herself)

Oscar: Note taken~.

Oscar: Hi, Ruby~.

Ruby: Um, hi?

Oscar: ...

Ruby: ...

Oscar: ...

Ruby: ...Why are you staring at me?

Oscar: Because~.

Ruby: Because why? Is- Is there something on my face?

Oscar: I was in the market today, and I bought some powdered hearts. Would you like to try some~?

Ruby: What's it taste like?

Oscar: Taste it and find out~.

Ruby: Is it sweet?

Oscar: Well, taste it and find out~!

Ruby: Is it salty?

Oscar: TASTE IT.

Ruby: (Bites into it)

Oscar: Can you taste the romance~?

Ruby: (Coughs) The romance tastes a little dry.

Oscar: Have a sip from my... canteen.

Ruby: (Takes canteen, Chugs)

Goodwitch: Ohoho~! Dohoho~!

Ruby: Are you okay, Professor?

Goodwitch: Not as okay as you~! (Winks) So tell me, how long have you little lovebirds been... going steady?

Oscar: I'm Ruby's boyfriend! And Ruby is my girlfriend, and we're totally going to be together forever and ever (Grabs hand) and now we're holding hands~!

Ruby: (Spits out canteen, Continues spitting home)

------------------------------------------------

Ozpin: Ms. Xiao Long, you will groom yourself like a cat!

Yang: No way, dude! I have too much self-respect for that!

Ozpin: (Taps scroll) Oops! You're now a C student.

Yang: ACK! (Starts licking her arm)

Ozpin: And make kitty-cat sounds while you do it.

Ruby: No, Yang! You're not a kitty-cat!

Ozpin: Oscar! Silence the caped one!

Goodwitch: I didn't say anything.

Ozpin: No, the caped one with the dark hair!

Summer: I didn't say anything.

Ozpin: (Grabs Ruby) THIS ONE! SILENCE THIS ONE! (Tosses at Oscar)

Oscar: (Catches Ruby) With pleasure~. Kiss me, you fool~! (Tries to kiss her)

Yang: JUST DO IT, RUBY! WE NEED THOSE GOOD GRADES!

Ruby: I'D RATHER BE A DIRTY KITTY-CAT! (Licks herself with Yang, Meowing with her)

------------------------------------------------

Ruby: Come on! We have to get to General Ironwood! He's the only one who can help!

Oscar: Oh my gosh! She's holding my hand! Non-descript Winter Holiday dreams do come true~!

Summer: Be the dream. Live the dream. Touch the dream. TOUCH IT!

------------------------------------------------

Oscar: I'll do it!

Oscar: As your student council president, I officially declare student marriage legal! (Grabs Ruby) You may now kiss the groom!

Ruby: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

------------------------------------------------

Yang: Ruby needs a tutor, but it has to be someone willing to give him the close, personal, intimate tutoring she needs!

Jaune: (Steps in) Hell-

Oscar: (Tosses Jaune out the window) I heard you need a tutor!

Yang: Yeah, but I can only pay you in hugs.

Oscar: DEAL! (Zooms past Yang)

Ruby: (Tied to a chair) Yang's worried for no reason. I've already told her I don't need a tutor when I already have the skills.

Ruby: THE SKILLS!

Oscar: Let's get started. Hm, but first, let's get a little closer.

Oscar: Maybe a little closer.

Oscar: Just a smidge closer.

Oscar: (Next to Ruby) Oh, yes, this should be close enough. Now, what subject should we start with? How about... CHEMISTRY~?

------------------------------------------------

Ruby: (Running away) Why, oh why was I born so handsome?!

Oscar: (Holding her cape) Ready for your daily public display, Ruby~? (Tries kissing her)

Ruby: Watashi was anata no garufurendode wa arimasen! Ichido mo nai! Ichido mo nai!

------------------------------------------------

Oscar: Oh, Whitley, I am so sorry for treating you so horribly! Can you ever forgive me?

Whitley: Well, I, uh-

Oscar: Great! Phew! I'm so glad to have my Ruby back~! (Tries to kiss her)

Ruby: I'M NOT YOUR RUBY! (Tries to run)

Oscar: (Holding her cape) Ha ha... DOWN, RUBY! (Yanks) She can be so excitable. (Carries Ruby) Good-bye, Whittleson. And next time, lay off the cologne. You smell like a fish's armpit.

Ruby: ACK! NO! DAD! UNCLE QROW! HELP! I know you guys aren't in the tags, but please help me!

Taiyang: What is she talking about? Our tags are right down there!

Qrow: Should we go help her?

Taiyang: No, these are the only lines we have.

------------------------------------------------

Oscar: Sooooo... It only makes sense for you to let your future husband and the father of your twenty children win, right?

Ruby: TWENTY KIDS?! You must be straight trippin', my dude! I'm planning to play the field until I'm at least thirty-eight! Then maybe, MAYBE if I decide to settle down and get married, I'll think about possibly considering about maybe toying around with the notion of having one- JUST ONE- child, and I'll have it by myself when I'm ready! Thank you very much!

Oscar: Oh, so that's how it is, then? Alright. GAME ON!

------------------------------------------------

20 Years later...

Oscar: Oh, Ruby~!

And of course, Ruby and Oscar ended up together in the end, just as the creators intended.

Oscar: I'm taking our fifty babies out for a walkie-walk~!

Ruby: I thought we only had thirty babies.

Oscar: I had twenty more last night~!

Ruby: Oh. Hi, new babies!

Babies: Hi, Mommy~!

Oscar and Ruby lean in to kiss...

Ruby: NO! STOP! HOLD IT! I reject this reality! It's evil! Evil, I says!

Oscar: Aw, but Ruby, look at how happy we are~!

Ruby: I'M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

Oscar: Just look at all our babies~!

Ruby: I REFUSE TO LOOK!

Ruby: (Holds Oscar) Wow... We were pretty cute kids, huh?

Oscar: (Leans into her) Mhm~!

Ruby: But seriously, no more babies.

Oscar: Okay~!

Adrian: HELP! THE BABIES GOT ME!

Oscar: Okay, I'll stop~!

Ruby: BABIES, NO! PUT ADRIAN DOWN!