#oh you wanted neither? too bad they're still yours enjoy

[moeblob]

Markus and Connor are stressed five feet away for the record.

[balrogballs]

I'm still sad about this heartwarming and mildly amusing little section where feral adolescent Aragorn brings some joy to Maedhros in his unhinged little way, which I had to cut out of Cast in Stone for structural reasons, especially as I had gone to the trouble of illustrating it!

But I realised it reads perfectly fine standalone, so you guys can have my crumb of Maedhros-joy instead. No context required: Maedhros and Maglor are temporarily staying in the Shire during the late Third Age, Maedhros had a horrible night of traumatic dreams and was being maudlin — until young Aragorn, aka Elros II and the bane of his life, turns up like a bad penny, as he often does. Enjoy!

---

"You look unhappy," said Estel, sitting down before Maedhros, legs crossed. "Does your hand hurt? Surely it can't be as bad as when it got chopped off, can it?"

"No, but leave me be, Estel, I have —"

"All right, but let me ask just one question. I promise, then I'll go away. I just remembered something from my lessons, and every time I ask Ada he looks up at the sky and asks the Valar where he went wrong in raising me," Estel moved closer, looking around for eavesdroppers. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But I would like to know."

Maedhros frowned, swallowed the lump in his throat and dragged in a breath. "What?"

"Fingon rescued you on one of those enormous eagles, didn't he? On that mountain with Morgoth and all of that. It was one of those, right? Manwë's Eagles."

"Yes. He did. I do not wish to answer any further questions on the matter, clear off."

"And it was quite a long journey, wasn't it?"

Maedhros grunted.

"I've always had a question about it… and again, you don't have to tell me if it's too traumatising," Estel's eyes shone, as though he were about to hear a state secret. "And I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Spit it out, boy, or leave me now. I am in the mood for neither company nor memory."

"Did it… you know…?"

"If you're trying to ask me if losing the hand hurt, yes it did," Maedhros snapped. "Now leave me alone, I've had enough reminiscing for a damned century. Get off home, now!"

"Oh, shut up, I wasn't asking about your stupid hand, I don't understand why you think everyone sits around thinking about your hand," Estel scowled, pursuing his lips, before deciding his quest for scientific knowledge was more important than whatever had crawled up Maedhros' arsehole and died. He widened his eyes conspiratorily, looked around again. "My question has nothing to do with that! I just wanted to know, did the eagle… you know?"

"Estel, I am not going to repeat this, get out of my sight right this —"

"Did it take a shit?"

"Did… what?"

"Did it take a shit?" Estel flushed as he said the word, Elrond's parental touch finally taking hold, though in a predictably useless manner. "And if it did, how big was it? As in, was it normal bird crap, or was it, you know — like a bucketload of it?"

Maedhros blinked. Estel held his hands out to demonstrate.

"I've always wanted to know that about them, you know," the boy continued, stroking his chin like a philosopher. "Manwe's eagles, that is. Surely if they're big enough to carry two people, one being a towering beast like you, their droppings must be massive."

"What…?" Maedhros couldn't formulate words, a state of being Estel clearly had no familiarity with. "Their… what?"

"And yes, I know they're divine, all of that, but surely they can't be toilet trained, can they? I just don't see Manwë having enough time to toilet train an eagle, you know. Could you imagine just… going about your day, and having this massive tub of birdshite fall on your head? Oh, it could drown a person, I'm sure of it!" Estel grinned, as if said occurrence would be the best day of his life, had it happened to him. "So, did it? And if it did, did you see if it went on someone?"

Maedhros sat there blinking at the boy in complete silence before rising quietly, taking the now-extremely-familiar ear, and slowly — like he were a corpse — leading Estel to the village gate. He didn't say a word, only gestured weakly and put up three fingers, a signal the now sulky boy was very used to.

And as Estel, muttering darkly all the while, neared the completion of his first punishment-lap of three around the village green, he heard something that sounded like a donkey in immense pain. It was a sound so tremendous and unexpected that it brought Maglor running from the house, gaping at the source, having not heard such a thing in centuries. It was no donkey, but Maedhros in complete hysterics, sitting on the ground exactly where he was when he beckoned Estel to run, sobbing with laughter, actual tears pouring down his face, which itself was screwed up and flushed so pink he looked like he'd been badly sunburned. He was trying to explain the situation to Maglor (who had been glaring at Estel as if he had personally killed his brother, and now looked upon him like he was Iluvatar himself) but Maedhros was howling too hard to even stand, let alone form coherent words.

Estel pretended not to notice, and started on his second lap. Though objectively speaking, the laugh itself sounded like something between a foghorn, a pig and whatever noise he imagined Ungoliant would make — there was something rather lovely about it that brought an inexplicable little smile to his face.

[astonmartinii]

worlds biggest fan part two | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x reader

y/n is the president of the official max verstappen fan club, but nothing can come of that, right?

part one

masterlist

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, martingarrix and 6,708 others

yourusername: not much going on right now

view all comments

user28: and now we're quoting taylor swift huh?

yourbff1: you're fake as fuck for posting this after not replying to me for two days

yourusername: what if i told you my phone died?

yourbff2: i would fight u

yourusername: i'm outside pull up

user29: the way they're still bickering as if y/n isn't well known now

yourbff1: she'll never dodge these hands

maxverstappen1: 🧡

user30: you ever gonna progress past an orange heart WHERE'S THE FLIRTING?

yourusername: blushing

user30: there's something suspicious amuck here

user31: ur right

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,309,561 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: i'm her biggest fan

view all comments

user36: i am going feral i need to be put down

danielricciardo: who is this man and what did you do with max verstappen?

maxverstappen1: i'm not allowed to appreciate my girl? danielricciardo: my bad, y/n is a very beautiful girl you're very lucky maxverstappen1: I AM AWARE

user37: yall i think max is losing his mind

yourusername: wow who is this girl who definietly should be in a lecture and not monaco

maxverstappen1: but i'm more fun than your professor yourusername: better take that maxy he's a big fan of yours maxverstappen1: okay he's a cool guy but i'm cooler yourusername: i'm not going to debate that

user38: so like did he fly her out for the dinner or did they go to dinner and then get on so well they went back to max's in monaco? i like desperately need to know

yourbff1: so this is where you've been @yourusername

yourusername: sorry not sorry yourbff2: we've been collecting notes and work for you and this is how we're thanked maxverstappen1: name a race and i'll get you there yourbff1: i take it back you can fuck off to monaco whenever you want yourusername: you change your tune fast

maxverstappenarchive

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 39,671 others

maxverstappenarchive: max enjoying his summer break

view all comments

user39: i know y/n is loving reporting on herself on this account

yourusername: maybe am i, maybe i'm not

yourbff1: she definitely is

user40: not to sound cheesy but i've never seen max this happy victoriaverstappen: neither maxverstappen1: i'd rather wait this long for a love like this, than have something less than what i feel right now yourusername: awwwwwwww i love you too maxy user41: i'm sorry ? LOVE ? user42: i feel like this is way too fast maxverstappen1: i'm an f1 driver all i know is fast charles_leclerc: good lord that is cheesy mate user43: @charles_leclerc what are you doing in the comment section of a max fan account charles_leclerc: being nosey and gathering data for the group chat user43: what group chat? charles_leclerc: the one where we make fun of max for being a softy

f1wagsandtea

liked by user44, user45 and 2,198 others

tagged: yourusername, yourbff1, yourbff2, yourbff3

f1wagsandtea: y/n y/ln, the girlfriend of max verstappen, will make her debut this weekend at silverstone and has brought along three of her closest friends and housemates.

view all comments

user46: omg y/n is finally going to a race

user47: i want her to go to zandvoort at some point i know the girlies there would treat her well

yourbff1: we're famous now oh wow

yourbff2: i mean it's just a wag account bro don't we hate these?

f1wagsandtea: catching strays on my own post

yourbbf3: deserved xoxo

user48: i am so excited for y/n omg this has all happened so fast

redbullracing

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 569,341 others

tagged: yourusername, maxverstappenarchive

redbullracing: a famous face in the orange army was with us in the garage this weekend. y/n has been a long-time fan of her boyfriend max and finally got to attend her first race here in silverstone

view all comments

user49: this shit is straight out of a damn fanfiction

yourusername: thank you so so much for having me, truly an insane experience i am so grateful

redbullracing: there's still race day to go

yourusername: don't remind me i'm so nervous

maxverstappen1: i thought i saw an angel in the garage after fp1, turns out i wasn't hallucinating

yourusername: you're too sweet

user43: @charles_leclerc i got one for you

charles_leclerc: thank you for your service

maxverstappen1: how many of you are in this group chat

charles_leclerc: none of your business

user50: god when will it happen to me

f1

liked by lewishamilton, lancestroll and 881,208 others

f1: RED FLAG. the marshals have thrown the red flag after a collision between max verstappen and lewis hamilton. the impact was 51g and verstappen has been escorted via helicopter to the local hospital but is awake and talking. we will resume within the hour.

comments are restricted on this post

maxverstappenarchive

liked by maxverstappen1, victoriaverstappen and 67,033 others

maxverstappenarchive: i cannot express my disappointment enough in the way the situation was handled this afternoon. it is to my understanding that the fia have considered this to be a racing incident, though i do not agree, that is the ruling so i nothing i can say will change that. HOWEVER, i am deeply disappointed in the manner in which lewis decided to celebrate despite the severity of the crash to max. i am lucky enough to be with max now, he is okay and his scans indicate that there is no internal damage, but i do believe there should be some introspection to how we celebrate while being unaware of the wellbeing of the other party. you can call me bias, but max will come back stronger and this will only motivate him more for the title fight. game on.

view all comments

user51: holy moly she did not come to play

user52: i don't even know how to feel about this whole thing

user53: i was there and oh my god it was so intense

user54: i'm just glad both parties are okay

user55: this title fight is so intense oh god

user56: i have a feeling this is not over

maxverstappen1 added to their story

[caption: thank you for being there for me, we'll come back stronger]

note: HOLY MOLY this felt like it took so long to write lol. i've been at work every day and finally sorted my living situ out (i.e. i'm gonna move into the dodgy house and just wait to be evicted lol). i like writing cause it's such a distraction from my current shit show life lol - i may make a part three of this if y'all want idk i love the drama of it all xxx

[libraincarnate]

astrology notes: 1 ❅

quick note: i’m absolutely not an astrologer.  these are just a culmination of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experience. above all this is just for fun. the third astro note has the slightest bit of nsfw. nothing crazy but still, 18+. if not, skip that one lol. lastly, unfortunately while reading this post you are NOT the main character (oh I know, bummer :/) therefore these may or may not apply to you. but, you might find something to be true about your friends, family, or crush. 😘 enjoy!

1. empty 3rd & 9th house: having never been on a plane/traveled outside of your home country, driving rarely even if you know how, or only traveling short distance, not for long & not often. could be much more of a home body.

hmm, could having an emtpty 3rd & 9th house = possible motion sickness or home sick when traveling?

2. check the persona chart of your dominant planets. so, if you are mercury, neptune, and mars dominant, check those persona charts for further detail, insight, and understanding of those planets regarding how they play out for you & how they're expressed in your life.

for example, having an aquarius venus in the birth chart: usually detached & not outright expressive with their feelings because of an emphasis on logic, friends to lovers but still friends while lovers, attracted to someone described as different or quirky. 

but you also notice that you are attracted to those who are the bad boy/girl, intense, deep, all about you types too and you can even have a bit of these traits as well. come to find out you have a scorpio venus or venus in the 8th house in your venus persona chart but this can be subtle, or not, depending on various factors. so the persona chart can show you another layer to the planets in the birth chart.

3. heavy/prominent capricorn: might typically have rbf & suppress or want to control their emotions. they feel it inwardly but don’t express it outwardly. with that being said, capricorn and/or saturn in the 8th house might not have an expressive face during sex, could even avoid prolonged eye contact. even more so if capricorn venus, mars, or both in the 8th house.

4. sags: might be flashy, vain, or arrogant about many things but they don’t really boast their intelligence though they are very smart and thoroughly know/understand a variety of interesting subjects which they are also able to teach well.

5. virgo in the 4th house: kind of taking control at home in regard to bringing order, organization, micromanaging, being bossy towards family, keeping things clean, etc. can be stressful if you have messy family members when you can’t stand to be around mess & filth.

6. having scorpio placements is so funny, even if it's only one. you could have heavy libra, pisces, and gemini in your chart but that scorpio will give you a layer of intensity & depth even if you’re the only one who's aware of it. 

7. mercury in 5th house: can have dramatic, exaggerated and/or loud speech.

if you have mercury in retrograde you might not be loud or someone who yells, and you hate getting yelled at.  

8. gemini moon: using humor to cope with heavy emotions & their problems whether intentional/aware or not.

my favorite number is 8 so we’ll stop there. this is my first one so it’s short & sweet. 🍭 ending with this, someone please tell me what placements might indicate an attraction to the eyes. i have no aries/prominent 1st house placements in neither my birth chart nor my venus persona chart. i know there doesn't need to be an astrological explanation but just curious. if you read this until the end I hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you. 

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Spring Vault Debut: Super Mario Galaxy

Oh boy, a vault! A spring vault! A vault full of goodies and treasures, perhaps? Only one way to find out! Come on, Spring Vault, you have nothing to hide! Open up, and let us inside!

Uh oh, lasers? Those goodies and treasures aren't good or treasured! Nevermind, Spring Vault. You can keep your goodies to yourself. I don't want them and neither does Mario.

This is Spring Vault, from Super Mario Galaxy! I didn't know they were called that, but as it turns out, the wiki didn't until pretty recently either, so I'm not alone. Spring Vaults are a stationary enemy that attack Mario by shooting circular laser beams from a safe distance!

Which raises my first question: are "circular laser beams" even something that can exist? Does light work that way? I wouldn't know! That sounds like a physics question and I know next to nothing about physics because I'm bad at math. I got my degree in Applied Weird Mario Enemies Studies at Wet-Dry World's Wet n' Wild Wuniversity.

If you can hop over Spring Vault's possibly impossible circular laser beams, then you can jump on Spring Vault to reveal the real treasure: Spring! Jump on Spring Vault with the spring revealed, and you can get some impressive vertical, bringing Jump Man to heights never before thought to be possible...

Don't worry too much about breaking the Funny Robot though. If you leave it undisturbed for long enough, it'll fix itself by Recalibrating Its Spring Senors or some other vaguely technological-sounding mumbo jumbo. I don't know anything about computers either! I'm writing this post on a stone tablet!

If you're familiar with your Weird Mario Enemies, you may note that Spring Vault looks similar to the Topmen from the same game, especially the Spring Topman, which loses out on its laser functionality to let you enjoy Springing on the go! But just as the Topman is a whole family of enemies, Spring Vault has a bit of a family of its own, which I'll cover beneath the cut!

First up, we have the Sentry Garage, which is probably the closest relative of the Spring Vault. Sentry Garages are a similarly stationary enemy that can be jumped on to reveal the spring within, but instead of shooting out lasers, they shoot Topminis! I'd make another joke about the miracle of childbirth, but the name suggests these are just a Topmini storage unit...

Sentry Garage looks like a pretty stylish place to keep your Topminis, but if a plumber comes by and spins them into next Thursday, don't say I didn't warn you!

Sadly, Sentry Garage is about as interesting as the Spring Vault family gets, because the rest of these are more "obstacle" than enemy. Like Ring Beamer, for example! No eyes or anything. Just a bunch of spikes. But sea urchins have no eyes and a bunch of spikes, and they're awesome, so maybe we should extend the same love to Ring Beamer. Make it feel loved. Make it feel like part of a family.

It's not trying to make you feel like part of a family though! Lasers? Spikes? Everything Ring Beamer does is a pretty clear indicator to Stay Away!

Up next we have the Ball Beamers, but you can call them Banjo and Kazooie, because they have Nuts and Bolts! Like the Ring Beamer, these are more obstacle than enemy, but unlike Ring Beamer, they don't have spikes or anything. This makes them safe for Mario to stand on, but it also means you can't compare them to sea urchins as much. You win some, you lose some.

They're still not completely safe though, because you know. Circular laser beams.

The thing is, whether they're an Enemy or Obstacle, Nintendo must have really fallen in love with the Ring Beamer family, because they've kept making new variants in subsequent 3D Mario games! Meet Ring Burner, introduced in Super Mario 3D World! Rather than lasers, this one shoots fire, but otherwise it has the same basic attack patterns.

Or at least it can have the same attack patterns, because some Ring Burners shoot fire in squares instead! Haven't you heard? It's hip to be square! This feels like it goes against the name, but oh well. Like Ball Beamer, these ones are safe to stand on, and they won't fire while you stand on it. Are they scared? Does Ring Beamer have feelings? Is that skull marking its actual face?

That being said, by the time Super Mario Odyssey came out, "fire" and "being safe to stand on" were out of fashion again, because Pulse Beam brought back the lasers and spikes! Or rather, laser and spike. Pulse Beam thinks having more than one spike is excessive.

Pulse Beam also values its personal space, and as long as you don't disturb it, it won't disturb you. Pulse Beams will only start shooting lasers when hit by Cappy, so leave them be, and they'll leave you be! That being said, their lasers can clear out other small enemies, so it might be good to activate them if you're getting overwhelmed...

But be careful! Pulse Beams tend to activate other Pulse Beams, so once one goes off, you'll probably have to deal with a few. Time your jumps well, and you should be A-OK.

But hold on, what if I were to tell you that the Ring Beamer family wasn't restricted to the Mario franchise...?

Happy Tunky Tuesday, because thinking so much about circular laser beams you gotta hop over reminded me of the Wave Breaker from Splatoon 3! This special weapon uses basically the same attack pattern, releasing circular shockwaves you need to jump over to avoid getting damaged, and since this is a competitive shooter, getting hit by the Wave Breaker also puts a target on your back, letting everyone on the enemy team know your exact location! Imagine, getting doxxed by a cup and ball toy. Those Splatoons have it rough.

Clearly the Splatoon 3 developers fell in love with this mechanic, because it shows up even in other game modes, with DJ Octavio's boss fight, the Amped Octostamp, and the Big Shot from Salmon Run using the exact same shockwave mechanics. The sheer scope of Ring Burner's influence can not be understated!

It's weird that talking about a Funny Spring Laser Enemy from Super Mario Galaxy eventually led me to talking about a different franchise in a different genre, but it's apparent Nintendo has fallen in love with this sort of obstacle. Gosh, Nintendo, if you love Circular Laser Beams You Need To Jump Over so much, why don't you marry them?

...I can be Spring Vault/Ring Beamer/Ring Burner/Wave Breaker/the rest's bridesmaid if they need one! I promise!

[missycolorful]

I'm on the fence about a lot of the "glass child" discussion because where I agree with some points that are made and enjoy the in depth analysis, I've come to severely disagree with others. Mostly because the internet is the internet, and the nuanced discussion has lost that nuance.

The reason this whole thing blew up (though it's been a concern for a while, certainly) was when Phil explained why he felt he needed to save Tallulah first before Chayanne. And you could tell Philza was trending cautious waters with his wording - he never wanted to say "oh, Chayanne's a chad, he'll get over it." With his wording, he recognized that neither were necessarily fine, but he still felt it necessary to prioritize one over the other because of one of his kid's big issues: Tallulah has abandonment issues. Maybe they're not as bad now since the "official adoption," but it certainly shouldn't be disregarded. But Phil remembers how much Tallulah hates being left alone, and wanted to make sure she wasn't in that situation long. Phil knew at the of the day, that Chayanne had no severe abandonment issues (that we are aware of), hence him saying he'd be okay "a bit longer." The prioritization is still there, and the Death family still has much to talk about, but the fandom's reactions felt a bit too... harsh, a bit too severe. They'd make it sound like Phil didn't consider Chayanne's feelings at all or that he thought Chayanne was totally going to be 100% okay with being alone forever and ever. When there's more to it than that, and ultimately, Phil was stuck making a decision in a lose-lose situation, and he knew that.

But a lot of people seem to focus solely on this moment, and let it epitomize the entirety of the Death Family's relationship and struggles. When, if anything, there's additional moments from yesterday's stream alone that I think show some slow growth in Philza's parenting when it comes to him being overprotective of Tallulah and him expecting a protector/warrior out of Chayanne.

Because if Phil really thought Chayanne was a ruthless warrior who can handle anything and be fine and get over it, he'd have let Chayanne immediately join them in their journey of saving Richarlyson. Like "If we've got Chayanne with us, nothing can hold us back" or something. But he didn't. He wanted both of his children to stay back, to stay safe. But his kids insisted on joining, even if just for emotional support. And if Phil really was completely stuck in his old ways, he'd say the old "Chayanne protect your sister" when the mobs starting showing up, or hell, even before that. But that never once happens. Both of his kids fight, and he trusted that they could both handle themselves since they insisted on coming along, though you can see him check on both of his kids once or twice during the fight. If this becomes a persistent thing, it shows great growth in Phil's character when it comes to being overprotective of his daughter and having his son prioritize her safety above all else. It's become more of "keep an eye on each other," which is definitely the preferrable kind of thinking!

And again, I emphasize that singular moments should not be the sole focus of these discussion. Rather, the overall actions throughout should be talked about. And honestly, Phil made sure that a lot of his focus was divided between both of his children throughout yesterday. When Chayanne decided to stay behind while the others went to the beach event to keep an eye on an AFK Tubbo, Phil decided to "hang about with you, kid, it's alright," even when Tallulah was long gone. Like, he wasn't going to let his kid sit alone like that waiting! Or when he got the llama plushie during the treasure hunt, I'd honestly have expected him to immediately give it to Tallulah because animals=Tallulah, I guess. But he asked them both which of them would have liked it more, a genuine attempt to make sure neither felt left out in receiving the gift. Yes, these, too, are small moments, but if we wanna have a discussion about these relationships, all these moments should at least be considered, not just the negatives.

And to me, the kind of consensus to make in these scenarios is that the situation at hand is... complicated. Like, Phil's parenting is flawed, I'd be a fool to say otherwise. All parenting is inherently flawed, that's basic psychology or... just how humans work. However, through his faults, he tries everything he is able to to do best by these kids. So, with all these moments and more, it never sat right with me to say Phil neglects Chayanne. I can almost see the case for "emotional neglect" a bit more, but even then, I find some fault in that thinking. Yes, qPhil is neurodivergent af, so he doesn't get emotional context clues and needs these discussion to be upfront in his face (which I already went into depth here regarding the relationship these two have). Put simply, any "emotional neglect" Chayanne feels isn't necessarily from Phil prioritizing Tallulah, but more so where Tallulah is more open with her feelings which makes it easier for Phil to talk to her about them, Chayanne has rarely ever been someone who opens up about feelings, and when you couple that with Phil's lack of emotional intelligence, these issues clash. However, it's important to note that a while ago, Chayanne had an open dialogue with Philza about Tubbo's death and how it affected him, and Phil was responsive to it. It'd be one thing if he told Chay to get over it, but no, he was very honest and kind to Chayanne during their talk. And afterward, Phil suggested for Chayanne that, if he ever needs to talk, to have them sit at the pier outside of their house. He extended an offering to Chayanne for emotional discussions. It was a great way for both of these people who are terrible at talking about their emotions to come together and talk. It highlights how Phil is very much okay with talking to Chayanne on an emotional level, and he has, and he will continue to be. They're just... both bad at it, sadly.

Finally, I think it's important to clarify what a glass child actually is, and if it fits the current narrative. A glass child is a child who is overlooked when their sibling is facing some sort of disability that makes the parent give the sibling their full attention, and often has the glass child help out a lot. Initially, Tallulah very much needed extra care due to her "asthma" and the fact she wasn't a great fighter who could protect herself. Hence why Phil and Chayanne were so overprotective of her and put a lot of focus on her. And for the longest time, Chayanne was okay with it, because she needed that help to survive on this hellish island. It's just that over time, things changed. These characters changed.

So it's not really like that for Tallulah now, is it? Her asthma is no longer as bad (it still happens, though!), and she's gained a lot of fighting experience over time. She can hold her own in a fight. And Phil no longer keeps that much of a paranoid eye on her; i.e. again, yesterday's stream where, even when they were fighting end monsters, he never shouted for her to get away or for Chayanne to protect her. In the early days, if Tallulah was even allowed to join, he'd have her stand back and ask Chayanne to keep an eye on her. But that doesn't happen here.

So nowadays? No, I don't think Chayanne could be considered a glass child. Because those disabilities aren't as much of a hindrance for Tallulah as they used to, and Phil isn't as paranoid about them as before. I think the effects are still there, in a way, but it doesn't fit where the characters currently stand. Ultimately, I think there are several reasons as to why things are as they are even if Chayanne may not be a glass child in the present. The big one being that Phil's not entirely adapted to the changes his children have gone through.

Especially after Purgatory, his children have gone through a lot and changed in the process; Tallulah became more independent, and Chayanne kind of being tired of being a warrior and needing more emotional support. And since he wasn't there to witness that change and only saw the aftermath, I think it's a struggle for him to come to terms with them. However, that doesn't mean he's entirely set in old ways. He's trained Tallulah on PVP, and again, he's allowed her to participate in fights without being super worried. And as I mentioned, he has extended a branch for Chayanne to be more open with his feelings. These are just starts, certainly, but it means that Phil is open to adapting and helping both of his kids in any way they need. He just has to figure out what they need.

And let me be clear: I'm not disregarding the flaws in q!Phil's parenting. They exist, and Chayanne really needs to have an open discussion about how his emotional needs haven't quite been met as of recent, and Phil needs to be more open to have emotional discussions with Chayanne, even if to them, that's like pulling teeth. There's changes and improvements that need to be made. However, in talking about the negatives, it just seems like people think that's all there is. No, these flaws in Phil's parenting doesn't make him a bad parent. Because there are plenty of positives, plenty of decent growth here. There's love and respect and everything in this family. q!Phil is genuinely doing his best in a very difficult scenario: living on an island that is set on killing the eggs, and being a parent of two while basically being a single parent all while struggling with your own traumas. that's going to come with obstacles, it's inevitable, but what's also inevitable is how this family will work through them, and come out of this better than before.

[galaxiasgreen]

🦡✨Troublesome and Unladylike

F!Reader shenanigans with Ominis/Reader [T-Rated, 6.2k words]

You turned back around, prepared to pay attention again, but Binns was coming your way. Literally, about to zone through the desk. Oh no, no, no! He'd see Ominis snoozing! Quickly your hand shot out, punching his arm in warning – but you were too forceful, batting it hard enough that his head slipped out of his grip and banged against the desk.

In which, your life changes twice in quick succession: the first, when you discover you have magic, and the second, when you meet an enigmatic blind Slytherin.

Tropes: romance/ humour/ drama, slow burn, black cat x golden retriever, opposites attract, forbidden love, hijinks and shenanigans, Muggle culture, Magic from a Muggle POV, canon rewrite.

[read on AO3, read on Wattpad]

A/N: This is an 8-chapter companion to ACVAS that I recently completed! No prior reading is required; it's mostly Gibby shenanigans that run parallel to the story of ACVAS. Enjoy <3

The stranger came in the hush of evening.

"Ssshhh!" Connor had your arm gripped, keeping you still on the stairs landing. "Stop being so noisy!"

"You're the one being noisy!" you snapped.

"Both of you, shut up," said Ellian. "I want to hear what they're saying."

You and your older brothers poked your heads between the stair bannister, desperate to snatch a little conversation from the living room downstairs. Your mother and father had shooed you all to their bedroom, where your baby brother Tam was currently fast asleep on the cot. You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him as they talked to the stranger downstairs, but of course, the curiosity was too much to bear. It seemed to be a trait that ran in the family.

"Can't hear squat," muttered Connor. At near nineteen, he was an adult himself, yet still treated as a child when home. He wanted to move out, but had not yet made enough money in lumbering. "One of us needs to go down. Find out if she's married. You know. Purely for educational purposes."

Your brow furrowed. "I thought you were committed to Matilda Asher."

"A man can have options, little sister."

"You were down there when she came in," asked Ellian. "Didn't you get a good look at her then? Was she wearing a ring?"

"Didn't see. Mama threw me out too quickly."

"Wouldn't want your ugly mug anyway, I expect."

"Coming from someone with a face like a slapped arse?"

You huffed at them. "If Mama catches us down there, she'll skin us alive."

"Yeah, only if she catches us." Connor grinned, then nudged you. "You're the smallest. You go."

"What? I can't—"

"You don't make the stairs creak. It has to be you." He nudged you again, harder this time, towards the top step. "Go on."

So you did. Step by step, clutching your glasses to stop them rattling, you tiptoed down until you were almost on the level below. The door peeled into view – open, giving you a great view of the stranger. And no wonder Connor was smitten, as the woman had the most luscious red hair you'd ever seen, cascading down her back in two thick plaits. With her turned away it was impossible to decipher her expression, but her skin was moonlight pale, her corset cinched tightly around a slim waist, the dress like an ocean of seafoam.

"— have been living in hiding for thousands of years, but I can assure you, we are a thriving community here and worldwide!" Her voice was warm, musical. "She will be well taken care of."

"But— witchcraft?" your father was saying. You did get a view of him, scrambled right up the back of the sofa, clenching the armrest. "My daughter— a heathen?"

My daughter. Me?

"Not at all, sir! And neither am I."

"The Bible ain't say nothing about witches doing good."

"I promise I understand where you're coming from. When I discovered the truth, I was shocked as well! But it is no bad thing, to be a witch." Exasperation crossed the lady's voice when your parents made no move to acquiesce. "I can see this is distressing you both. Perhaps you'd like a demonstration of what we can do?"

She pulled out a stick – a magic wand, you recognised from Punch & Judy skits – and gave it a swish. The teapot on the table levitated in air, pouring itself a cup. Your parents made a distressed noise.

So did you.

Both their eyes jumped to you. The woman turned then, surprised.

You ran back up the stairs.

"Well?" asked Connor. "What—"

"She— made the teapot float!" you cried. "The stranger— she made it pour tea without touching it! Like... like magic!"

But Ellian scoffed. "How much toffee nougat did you eat?"

"It's true, swear it!"

"Come off it," said Connor. "Did you even see if she was married?"

You pouted. "Do you really think I was concentrating on her hand when she made a teapot—"

"I thought I told you three to watch Tam?"

You spun around. Your mother, at the foot of the stairs, glaring at you. Oh no. But instead of divvying out chores as punishment, she crooked a finger. "Come downstairs, sweetling. Connor, Ellian, so help me, you better watch Tam or—"

"Going! Going," called Connor, and he sounded exceedingly disappointed to have only been fed the crumbs of a lie.

The crumbs of the truth.

You clung to your mother's shadow as you stepped into the living room. Your father was on his feet, as was the stranger, who offered a bright smile to you, even held out her hand.

"It's so nice to meet you, young lady," she said, beaming. "My name is Mirabel Garlick."

Garlick? What a funny name. Still, you knew what was polite, and shook her hand back, even though you were used to curtseying.

"Come sit, sweetling." Your mother shut the living room door and ushered you to the sofa, squished between her and your father like a protective bubble. Your father still clenched the armrest. "Ms Garlick wants to talk to you."

"Am I in trouble?" you asked. Tears fluttered to your eyes. "Am I a— heathen?"

Your father rumbled. "No, not at all, sweetling. I just..." He trailed off, clearly perturbed.

"You saw what I did with the teapot, yes?" asked Ms Garlick.

You nodded, mute.

You had no idea, then, that your life was about to change.

"I'm what we call a witch. There is a whole community of people out there who have the same abilities as we do, to wield magic."

Witch. Magic. We? "But none of that exists, ma'am," you mumbled. "And witches are— bad."

"That trick with the teapot. Was that bad?"

Hesitantly you shook your head. Actually, it was rather cool.

"I used to be like you. Very ordinary – perhaps to a fault! I grew up in Shoreditch, you see, with no idea that magical folk existed. I had also been fed many unflattering stories, fairy tales where witches steal away naughty children. These stories tend to exaggerate what we truly are: people who happen to have an affinity for magic. Have you ever done anything you can't explain?"

"No..."

"Are you certain? Think hard on it, now."

Your parents looked at you expectantly. "Remember last month, sweetling?" your mother prompted. "When Ellian—"

"When he stole my teddy bear." You gasped. "The washing basket exploded!" You cottoned onto their meaning, staring at Garlick. "I did that?"

Garlick intertwined her hands – no ring. "Yes! Magical ability often awakens at your age, about ten." She placed a hand on her heart. "I've come to visit you today because I represent Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a secondary boarding school in Scotland, that teaches magic to hundreds of young witches and wizards such as yourself and enables you to bloom into your potential. You have been invited to join the new school year this September."

A school? Scotland? Why did that sound like a punishment? More tears filled your eyes. "But— I'm supposed to work at the confectionary with Papa, and Mama is meant to teach me more embroidery..."

Garlick leant forwards, eyes only for you. "I promise you, it is a wonderful experience. You'll learn many marvellous things that will prepare you for life as a young lady. Look at me, I'm a professor!"

A woman professor? And so young! That was almost unheard of.

"What do you teach?"

"A subject called Herbology, like gardening. But there are many subjects you will learn."

Still, you shifted, nervous. Garlick stood, which prompted your father to his feet as well, and pulled out a letter from her pocket, handing it to you.

"There is your acceptance letter, with a little more information. And!" She gave you a coin, one you'd never seen before, a dragon imprinted on the faces. "That there is a magical coin. Should you have any questions or concerns, you just rub the inscription, and I'll come as fast as I can. Currently I'm living at the school, but I'm happy to travel down to help you adjust." She looked at your parents. "I'll be in touch further about acquiring the necessary equipment and books before the start of term on the first of September."

"I-Is it really real?" you asked. "Magic?"

Garlick gave you a dazzling smile, and it made you feel a little less scared.

"It is! Hmm. Would you like one last trick, before I go?"

"Yes! Yes please."

She turned and pointed her magic wand at the door. "Accio."

The door swung towards her, with no prompt... and Connor and Ellian tumbled into the room.

"Ow, Jesus!"

"Connor, you ingrate—"

"Were you two there the whole time?" your mother thundered.

Garlick caught your eye, and you laughed, laughed so hard your stomach hurt.

When you first stepped into Diagon Alley, it was like someone reached inside you and stole your breath.

The crooked buildings lanced into the sky above, the air teeming with magic, and the street bustled with witches and wizards adorned in brightly-coloured cloaks and pointed hats. When you had read about witches, it was as Professor Garlick had suspected – they were terrifying, ugly creatures, boils on their faces, ragged clothes, dirt-clod fingernails and sinister motives. But Diagon Alley burst with vibrant life. There were owls and cats wrangling against cages, spells that popped like fireworks, stalls that served hot drumsticks, kebabs and battered fish. The smell alone drew you in, but Professor Garlick stopped you with a squeak.

"Now, hold on, hold on! Let's take a moment to process, shall we?"

A moment? You might need the whole day. Yet still your grin was unshakable as you watched two wizards exchange potted plants with flowers that were growing teeth, and a child eating a sweet that made her steam from the ears. Sometimes you passed witches that wore trousers, which when the initial shock wore off made you giddy with wild glee. Did that mean you could wear trousers too? Behind you, your parents were completely overwhelmed, you mother and father clutching each other's arms.

"Stay close, sweetling," your father said gruffly, but not even he could disguise his awe. "God, I need a cigar."

"We'll be meeting another family today," Garlick said cheerfully. "With another student raised in the non-magical world, like you."

"There are more like us?"

"Of course! Very odd, this year it seems there's only a handful starting, but not to worry. Most people are extremely friendly. They will help you whenever you need." She gestured them forwards, into the throng of shoppers. "Come, come!"

It didn't take you long to realise that, actually, aside from magic, these people weren't so different from your own. Witches hollered at one another, trying to outdo their displays of cauldron towers, another family laughed from the outdoor tables of a restaurant, their cutlery dancing. You were giddy when Garlick took you to Rosie Lee Teabag, the wizard version of a teashop, to meet an awaiting wizard and another family of three, including one trembling Indian boy, with brown hair and brown skin, hands fidgeting on the table.

"Pleasure to meet you all! I'm Carsten Bristlecone, Wizengamot undersecretary in the Ministry of Magic – ahem, the magical Cabinet, if you will." The wizard gestured to his charge. "This is Mahendra Pehlwaan. Remember what I said, Mahendra? This young lady is like you, raised in the non-magical world."

"N-Nice to meet you," stammered the boy.

"Hello!" you said brightly, giving a shallow curtsy. Well. Seemed like you were handling this whole magic thing a lot better than he was. "I'm excited to be friends!"

Both sets of parents exchanged pleasantries before your father insisted on grabbing a (very stiff) drink to see him through the day. You were rather impatient watching him nurse the glass rim, but Mr Bristlecone was eager to chat – mostly about himself, using terms that went right over your head.

"It was all out war, Professor! Imagine, a Niffler pack bold enough to steal Galleons from a leprechaun. Merlin's beard, I had to use Arresting charms to stop them mauling each other by the end!"

When your father had downed his whiskey, Garlick took you all to the bank to exchange shillings for wizard currency ("Oh my gosh, Mahendra, look how cool they are! They're goblins!"), then to the clothing shop for robes, the wand shop for wands, and the book shop for textbooks and quills. You could see your parents' expressions fall with each purchase – they never talked to you about money, of course, but it was always a pressing issue when their income was so modest. It was, apparently, one of the first questions your father asked when he found out you were accepted at the school, how much, precisely, it would cost. You didn't find out the answer, but you suspected that if it cost anything at all, you wouldn't be going.

You had just about bought everything now, the day waning into afternoon. Your parents were ahead, speaking to one another with Garlick and Bristlecone.

"This is sort of mad, isn't it?" you said to Mahendra. "That we're, you know, magical?"

"I still think this is an elaborate prank," he said, clutching tightly to the list of things they had to buy. "How do I know you're not a paid actress?"

"News to me if I was."

"I'm not ruling it out."

"So you think everyone here is paid?"

"Could be," he said stubbornly.

You rolled your eyes. "You're off your rocker." Then your gaze hooked on a shop to the distance, and your gasp made him flinch. "Mahendra, look! A sweet shop!"

"Sweets? That's not on the list."

You grabbed his jacket by the sleeve and dragged him to your parents. "Can we go to the sweet shop? Please? Pretty please? With hundreds and thousands?"

Of course, no one could really say no. If Heaven existed, this is what you imagined it would look like. So many varieties of sweets you'd never tried before, ones that changed your hair colour or turned your nose into a duck's bill, gum that blew balloons the size of a person and taffy that made you giggle like mad.

"We're just going to wait outside, sweetling," said your mother to you, as you were trying every flavour of sugar quill available. She leant close. "I think your father is beside himself with jealousy. Keeps grumbling about how our confectionary is better."

"He's right," you whispered cheekily. "Promise I won't buy much."

"Two things, that's all, all right?"

Mahendra stuck to your side through it all, perturbed by your enthusiasm. You had a terrible sweet tooth – which he commented on several times – but your parents didn't have enough money left, so in the end you only left with a sugar quill and a cauldron cake, and the secret promise you'd buy more when you were at Hogwarts proper.

"Can you see them?" you said outside, peering around through the crowds and clutching your paper bag close. "You're a bit taller than me."

Mahendra frowned. "No, but they can't be far."

"Let's look around!"

"What? No— hey, wait!"

You walked away anyway. Around the back of the building was a set of stone steps that descended into a crooked rope of an alley, lined with another litany of shop fronts. These, however, were painted with a stroke of night, all dark colours and gloom, and the people within equally dressed.

"Wow, cool! Shall we have a look? We haven't gone down here yet."

"What?" Mahendra shook his head. "No! The list doesn't say—"

"Oh, forget the list for a second, would you? We won't be long. Exploring is fun!"

You dragged him down the steps. A sign, you read, said Knockturn Alley, and for some reason it raised the hairs on your arms. A group of witches with hat brims that extended well below their eyes turned sharply to face you as you headed in deeper.

"I don't like this," said Mahendra.

You blew a raspberry. "You don't like anything."

"Don't you have any sense of self-preservation?" he said, exasperated. "We've lost our parents, and the two people who know this place better than all of us combined! We're in way over our heads here. I-I don't even want to be a wizard!"

Which was totally barmy. How could anyone discover all this and not feel intense wonder and awe? How could anyone learn that magic existed, and wish to return to a time when you didn't? You stopped in front of a bulging shop front, boasting some sort of strange artefacts. Necklaces, crockery, crusty tomes, old lanterns... Borgin and Burkes, read the sign. The door jingled, and out exited a man of pale, gaunt countenance. His gaze flickered to you.

"Hello!" you said cheerfully.

His expression soured.

"Mudblood spawn..."

You had no idea what that meant, and the man didn't elaborate when he strode briskly in the opposite direction. It didn't seem... particularly friendly. Strange, since Garlick insisted that most magical folk were really nice. You turned to the shop.

"What an oddball. Should we go in?"

"Absolutely not!" Mahendra squeaked. "We shouldn't— not without Ms Garlick, at least. Let's go back. Please. This place doesn't feel safe."

You pouted. "Fine. Bore."

Only, when you turned back around to go the other way, it seemed like the alleyway had changed, the cobblestone below your feet shifting leftwards rather than straight. Were alleyways meant to do that? Someone behind you sniggered, which finally tugged your smile into a frown. Now you had no idea how to get out, and by the dawning panic on his face, Mahendra knew it too.

"Now we're lost. We're going to die here! Die surrounded by—"

"Would you stop? Everything is hunky-dory. We just need to find an exit. We can ask someone!"

"Ask someone? They look like they'd sooner eat us for breakfast!"

"No they wouldn't." You laughed. "It's far too late for breakfast. Lunch, maybe."

Mahendra whinnied.

"You two!"

Luckily, Bristlecone came rushing towards them, hoisting his ruby cloak, and you had to admit, you did feel a sense of relief.

"What were you thinking, running off to this place? It's not safe here for your— it's not safe. Come now, make haste!"

Your parents scolded you when you returned. Too curious for your own good, they said, waggling their fingers. Bristlecone agreed, mumbling about safety against the ruffians and scoundrels that frequented Knockturn Alley – as it turned out, not a nice place for the normal person. Mahendra's parents reprimanded him, too, which did make you feel bad. So bad that you offered him your cauldron cake.

"Peace offering?" you said, sheepish. "For getting you into trouble?"

"I don't like sweets."

"I don't believe that."

Mahendra hesitated, then took it, trying not to smile. "Fine. Just don't get me in trouble again."

But you grinned.

"No promises."

You sobbed on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.

You were excited, of course. Wildly, incomparably excited, bursting from you like lit gunpowder. You had your books and clothes and things all packed haphazardly in a trunk and wheeled to platforms nine and ten. You were awed again when, with Bristlecone and your parents, you ran straight for the brick wall separating the two platforms, and ended up in another place entirely.

Your father was gruff. "Might've hit my 'ead on the way through. How's there another pla'form between the pla'forms?"

Your mother hushed him, though you could tell she secretly agreed. They'd never get used to magic. You doubted you would either.

Bristlecone helped put your things in the carriage as you looked around. Parents were everywhere, hugging goodbye to their children. Trunks and cages were being manhandled inside, students trading hellos and homework like coin. You spotted a few who had to be your age, in your year, but you'd never met someone raised in the magical world. What if you were too different to fit in?

Mahendra was already there, having gone through the wall before you. His parents and he were checking and re-checking a list, because of course they were. When the train tooted, signalling its looming departure, you turned and threw yourself into your parents' arms, the tears coming hot and fast.

"You be good, sweetling, aw'right?" said your father. "You write us every day now."

"I will," you mumbled into his jacket.

"And you make sure you— do your homework and behave," your mother blubbered. "I don't know how magic works, but you be careful too. It's a blessing to go to school, so make the most of it."

You nodded, because nothing but distressed grunts would come out if you tried to speak again.

You were still sniffling when you boarded the train with Mahendra, hands trembling as you held your glasses and wiped your blouse sleeves across your face. Soon the station was far behind, and the sights were blurring past as the long journey to Scotland began.

"Still think you're being pranked?" you asked him, if only to distract yourself.

Mahendra shrugged. "Won't believe it until I see it."

You already believed. You had to now. You'd left your old life behind.

Nonetheless, sympathy softened his edges. "Shall we find a seat?" he asked gently.

You nodded, following his lead down the corridor. Most of the older students had taken residence in the compartments, chatting, yelling, eating sweets – something you looked forward to – and scribbling last-minute essays. But the older kids were intimidating and often gave you strange looks as you passed, and Mahendra, not one to rock the boat, didn't bother dipping in to ask.

The first compartment that he paused at was one only occupied by three people, two girls and a boy. Diminutive in height, they had to be about eleven or twelve, first years like you. Their light-hearted expressions dimmed when Mahendra knocked and slid open the door.

"Hello," he greeted. "Are— are you first years, too?"

The first girl, dark hair, clearly some East Asian ancestry, slid her gaze to the other two, before smiling. "Yeah, we are. Don't recognise either of you though."

Did they all know each other? You put on a brave face, peering over Mahendra's shoulder. "Well, it's nice to meet you. We're new!"

"Obviously," said the boy, and something glinted in his eye. "Muggle-borns, are you?"

Born to non-magical parents, Garlick had told you. "Yeah!"

The other girl's brow lowered. "Bet this is all so overwhelming to you."

Mahendra froze, but you were determined. "A little! So it'll be nice to talk to with people who already know all the hoo-ha about magic."

The first girl strode over to them and grasped the door.

"It would be." Her smile turned wicked. "Too bad we don't sit with Mudbloods."

She slammed it shut in your face.

The partition didn't dampen how hard the other two laughed.

Your temper rose at once. How rude! You weren't always perfectly mannered, but you knew never to do that. That would earn you a striking at church, and you were prepared to let her know just how impolite that was before Mahendra yanked your sleeve down the train's corridor.

"Let me go! That was so mean of them! We should set them straight—"

"No!" He grasped your arm tightly. "No, leave it, please. I don't want to make enemies before we've even got to the school."

"But they laughed at us! What did we even do?"

What is a Mudblood?

But he shrugged. "I don't know, but please, I am begging you, don't cause trouble. There must be a better place to sit further down."

There was, as it turned out, another compartment three down, with two redheaded boys. You thought they were related at first, but one's face was round and freckled, boyishly young, whereas the other was stocky and tall. After being mocked so callously before, both your and Mahendra's courage had whittled thin, but when you knocked and timidly asked whether you could share the apartment, the two boys were more than happy to accommodate.

Still, as they introduced themselves as Garreth and Leander, prodded you with questions about the non-magical, Muggle, world, and your unease settled, you thought back to what that girl had said. Mudblood. What was that, and why did everyone keep hissing it like a rude word?

Why did it make you feel so small?

When the Sorting Hat called your name into the silent, anticipatory hall, you squealed.

It was rather embarrassing, really, but the noise had emerged from your throat before you could help yourself, and travelled through the hall like a ripple in a pond. The boy behind you had clapped his hands over his ears, and Mahendra had glared at you, so you muttered a quick apology before scurrying up the dais onto the stool.

Deputy Headmistress Weasley placed the Sorting Hat upon your head, and you squeezed your eyes shut, expecting there to be some kind of pain with an article of clothing rummaging in your thoughts. Some people had been instantly Sorted, the Hat barely grazing their hair before it rang out with a house.

For you, however, it pondered.

"You're quite a spitfire, aren't you?" it mused. "You like to explore, you like to learn, combined with a healthy dose of bravery, yes... that would make you suited to Gryffindor."

Garreth and Leander had been singing Gryffindor praises on the way up. The amazing and brave house, they called it.

"But..."

"But, Mr Hat?"

"You're unfailingly loyal and hardworking, too, and such traits are valued in Hufflepuff."

The nice, boring house. "Oh, well, Leander didn't seem particularly impressed with it," you said timidly, "but your description doesn't make it sound so bad... which one is better?"

"No house is better than the other."

As long as it's not Slytherin, you thought, remembering what Leander had said about them, too. That's the evil house.

You'd forgotten, however, that your thoughts at that moment weren't private.

"Slytherin values ambition and cunning," the Sorting Hat remarked, not unkindly. "It values its own sort of loyalty – to the self and to its own. It values using cleverness to create advantageous situations. There is nothing inherently evil about it. It is all in the application."

"Are you... going to put me in Slytherin, sir?"

It let out a wry laugh. "Slytherin is in your future, that's for certain... but it is not the house for you."

You tilted your head. "What do you mean, Slytherin is in my future?"

"Sit upright, if you please. I don't want to slip off your head."

You corrected your position and glanced at Professor Weasley; her smile was slowly faltering. The Hat was taking longer than most to deliberate – and it was eating at you with worry. Your face, flushing with heat as whispers began to break out.

"Indeed, it is your bravery and loyalty that will see you through your years," the Hat remarked. "Which trait is more important to you?"

"Gosh, that's a really big question, Mr Hat," you mumbled, "Both are good. I can't decide."

"Think on it, if you had to choose."

Fleetingly the thought came – well, bravery was all well and good, as was a love to explore, but what use was that if you didn't stick to your friends and family when the time came? What good was it if you didn't show compassion to others along the way?

"Ah," said the Hat. "I understand now."

Panic struck you. "Oh, but what if I don't fit in?"

"Fitting in is overrated." But before you could retort, it called out, "HUFFLEPUFF!" and you were being ushered down to the yellow house. Briefly your eyes caught Garreth – giving you a thumbs-up – and Leander, shrugging with a sort of sad oh well.

Then you saw Mahendra, and noticed he was nodding his head. He approved of something you did? There sure was a first time for everything.

When the Sorting concluded, Garreth and Leander both went to Gryffindor, and Mahendra Ravenclaw, the swot house – no surprises there, because he was too neurotic for his own good – and the Welcoming Feast appeared on the tables with the wave of Headmaster Black's hand. You certainly felt welcome. You'd never seen so much food in your life, and you lived in a sweet shop! Quickly you filled your plate with everything available – all the meat especially, which you only ever ate on rare days.

"Slow down!" the girl next to you said, laughing. "You'll give yourself a tummy ache!"

She was probably right. Perhaps seven chicken drumsticks was a little too much. Sheepishly you put a few back on the platter.

"I'm Adelaide Oakes," she said. "We're going to be sharing a dorm together."

"Nice to meet you!" you said cheerfully. "I'm—"

"I know who you are." Adelaide giggled. "Can't forget the noise you made when your name was called out!"

"Sorry," you said awkwardly.

"It's all right. My uncle told me during his Sorting one of the boys fainted on the stool, so you're doing better than him."

You spoke to her for the rest of the meal, gleaning little more tidbits about the magical world, and how vast and overwhelming it really was. Maybe the Hat was right, that fitting in was overrated, but you did want to fit in a little. Sometimes she said words you simply didn't understand – words that were utter gibberish – and too timid to ask what she meant, you stuffed more food into your mouth to obscure your ham-fisted responses.

You were surprised someone didn't have to roll you out of the Great Hall when the prefects led everyone to their houses.

The students bottlenecked in the foyer, and though you tried to keep a look out for Adelaide, you lost her amongst the sea of black robes. The seventh years were so tall! How was anyone supposed to see anything? Jostled off your feet, you nearly stumbled into the wall before you swerved into what looked like another queue of first years – the pair of first-year twins were in front of you, whispering to themselves.

When the lines thinned, you rocked on your feet, waiting to go to your dorm.

"You're in the wrong place."

You swung around, almost hitting the boy in the face with your hair. He looked vaguely familiar – a name called out amongst yours during the Sorting, and though you didn't remember what his name was, he was definitely a first year, even though he was at least an inch taller. His wheat-gold hair was loosely combed back, posture straight and chin high, all a match with his high-born accent.

Goodness, you'd never met someone so posh before. Was he the descendent of some totty gentry? Were you supposed to curtsy? Call him milord?

But you merely tilted your head as he stared at the ground beyond you, his eyes like strange, chalky pearls. "Aren't we going to the form rooms?" you squeaked.

His frown tightened. "You're meant to be going to the Hufflepuff common room." He roughly jerked his wand to the clump of students bobbing around on the other side of the foyer, hoods lined in gold. "Your house is over that way."

You took notice of his robes then – green, with the insignia of the snake. Slytherin, the evil house. Or... maybe not so evil? You followed his wand point and spotted a blonde head with the Hufflepuffs. Adelaide.

"Oh!" You let out a sheepish giggle. "Thanks!"

He didn't respond as you walked away, and though it was a simple act to correct your hapless ability to follow directions, you thought perhaps that the Hat had been right, and Leander wrong. He'd been effortlessly aloof, but not mean. If that was indication of Slytherin values, then they seemed perfectly nice. That boy... seemed nice.

You thought your life had already changed, so you didn't know then, of course, that meeting him would change it all again.

As fate would have it, you met him properly the next day, and learnt his name when you were partnered in Charms – Ominis Gaunt, a strange name for a strange boy. Blind, yet able to detect his surroundings as easily as you could. Enigmatic, for despite his bluntness his expressions never gave much away. Pure-blood, though gracious to you and your very obvious working-class, and worse, Muggle, upbringing.

You had a very clear idea of who he was by Herbology, the next class. You'd unfortunately made him late – a poor combination of his lack of sight and your lack of, well, understanding of the magical world. He'd made his disdain known, so you were quite certain this boy would follow rules, finish all his homework on time, never stray too far from the teachers' leash. You were quite certain he was going to be uptight forever.

Your mind changed by the afternoon's History of Magic class.

This was a subject that excited you. The class, for one, would fill in the gaps Muggle history could not explain. Now that you knew magic existed, you had so many questions. Was Jack the Ripper a wizard? Was the Great Fire of London started by a wayward Fire charm? Did the queen know all about this too? The subject was also taught by a ghost, which was the coolest thing ever. A ghost! Yet despite your intrigue in the founders of Hogwarts, Professor Binns could, frankly, put a brick wall to sleep.

He put Ominis to sleep in ten minutes.

You saw him wobble in your periphery, and you slid your gaze over. Eyes shut. Head leant in slender hand. Quill abandoned in the ink well. For someone whose expression seemed permanently stuck somewhere between disregard and a full-on scowl, it was strange to see him at peace, comfortable enough that he could, in fact, doze.

On the first day! The first History of Magic class!

Perhaps you'd tired him out. That was a possibility, given he didn't respond very much to your rapid-fire chatter. Still, you didn't want him to risk getting caught, so when Binns wandered through the desks – literally, through them – towards the stained glass window depicting the founders, you leant over to him.

"Pssst. Ominis."

No response.

"Ominis?"

"Mmm. What?"

"You should pay attention, don't you think?"

"Already know it all."

"About the Hogwarts founders?" You frowned. "How?"

He didn't answer. Maybe it was a magical child thing, to already know about the school. It seemed most of the others in your year had long-since known Hogwarts was part of their destiny, after all. You turned back around, prepared to pay attention again, but Binns was coming your way.

Literally, about to zone through the desk.

Oh no, no, no! He'd see Ominis snoozing! Quickly your hand shot out, punching his arm in warning – but you were too forceful, batting it hard enough that his head slipped out of his grip and banged against the desk.

The room went silent. He drew up slowly, eyes open and furious, as you withheld a strangled gasp.

"Something the matter?" Binns floated to your left. "What was that noise?"

"S-Sorry Professor!" you squealed at once, a lie unspooling. "I, erm... just got so excited, I had to... slap my hand... against the desk!"

"Slap... your hand... against the desk..."

"Don't you do that? You know, Oh, Aston Villa won the Challenge Cup? Hurrah!" You slapped your hand on the desk – and Lord, the pain. When Binns looked at you like you were quite mad, and Ominis grimaced, you quickly added, "It's just, erm, I'm really excited to learn about Saladin—"

"Salazar."

"— Salazar Slytherin, you know?"

There were a snort from behind. Sebastian, who probably saw the whole ordeal.

Binns' expression didn't change. "I'd caution against doing that a third time. A desk is for writing, not for Bludger bat practice."

Whatever the heck that meant. "Yes, sir."

He went back to his lecture, and you dared glance at Ominis. His bottom lip jutted out, and now that Binns was gone he was massaging his forehead.

"You know," he muttered, "a simple he's coming this way would've sufficed."

"I know. I didn't think."

"Obviously."

"Sorry."

"It was only my entire forehead, of which I'm certain won't painfully bruise." You winced, but then he said, with surprising lightness, "Your excuse was dreadful, by the way."

"It worked, so that's all that matters."

"Mind you don't use it again. I doubt it'll work a second time."

You nodded, then cursed yourself – he couldn't see it. "Thank you for giving me the name."

"Don't mention it. Ever." His lips rolled. "And though your method was crude... thank you for helping me escape detention."

You almost wanted to brag to Mahendra, seated somewhere at the back of the classroom. See? I'm not trouble all the time.

You glanced at Ominis, rubbing his forehead.

Only most of it.

Thank you for reading! Please like/ reblog if you enjoyed <3

[read Chapter 2 on AO3, read Chapter 2 on Wattpad] [Divider credit]

[utilitycaster]

i think it's telling that so many of the responses to imogen's convos with liliana and laudna were 'this is kinda fucked up and i am fascinated by it and am enjoying it' and but the response to THAT was like 'STOP trying to make everything toxic, ugh fandom never should've learned therapy speak'. like. ignoring that's NOT what that is, people are pretty clearly interacting POSITIVELY with these moments but because what they're enjoying is the parts that are messy, that's somehow bad too???

YUP! There are definitely people who use therapy speak inappropriately, including about Imogen and Laudna, and honestly I pretty specifically avoided using the word "toxic" (or "codependent") about their most recent interaction, but like...there is nothing wrong with enjoying the relationship for being messy! A good deal of the people who are calling it toxic or messy are people who support it and enjoy it! A good deal of people who don't particularly like the relationship for being flat and bland and the conflict constantly fizzling out into nothing, myself included, perked up at yesterday's conversation! It was fascinating: Laudna went to comfort Imogen and told her she loved her, and Imogen's response was to say "oh, you love me? well then why did you go running off to Delilah the second we were apart? why did you lie to me a second time [Laudna did not lie to her the first time, which by now Imogen knows]?"

I don't actually think Imogen's opinions re: Delilah are inconsistent - I think she very specifically started becoming uncomfortable after encountering Delilah in the middle of the night in Whitestone (and I think Laura said as much on a 4SD too), and so her previous assertions about digging into their power sources are not hypocritical. However, yeah, I think we should talk about how both of the two big kisses between these characters are specifically Imogen trying to cut off an emotional speech from Laudna - I don't think it is intended as manipulation, but rather coming from a place of profound fear, but that's still something you need to deal with because this is now three pretty significant cases of kicking the can of conflict down the road and it's only snowballing. I think we should talk about how actually maybe it's valid that Imogen, who has had to make a lot of difficult decisions regarding her engagement with Predathos's power and could be risking losing her powers through her actions, is frustrated that Laudna hasn't done the same with Delilah, but neither of them are working it out. Imogen is letting an assassination of her mother go forward - and I agree with her choice - and Laudna hasn't done anything to extricate herself from Delilah in 30 years despite expressing interest early in the campaign. Imogen is about to lose her mother because her mother declared her reliance on a potentially evil power as an inevitability and wouldn't listen to her, and Laudna's now doing the exact same thing.

And on the other hand, again, Laudna hasn't lied to Imogen. Imogen cut off Laudna's angry, hurt, and extremely valid rant about being betrayed by Bor'Dor by asking to kiss her and so Laudna, trying to make Imogen happy, never worked out these feelings and they've just been building up. Laudna can't express her fears to Imogen because Imogen will demonstrably cut her off. If Imogen is disgusted by Delilah, and that's not going away, what does that mean? Like, is the love enough? I don't know? Could be, but not without actually having a means of resolving all of these extremely valid hurt feelings, and they don't have that. And maybe some of us would like to have some resolution, and are getting real tired of the particularly dim children going "uwu let me have my cottagecore stardew valley dream you all are such MEANIES let people like things" which. Again, if the fact that other people want different things from this relationship is genuinely preventing you from liking things, that's entirely your problem, because I like all kinds of things other people dislike. If you cannot stomach any dissent from your personal interpretation and perceive it as an attack, that says a lot of things about you and none of them bode well.

There is a deeply frustrating tendency that is not limited to this fandom, nor to discussion of Imogen and Laudna, to deny that traumatized characters can hurt other people. You see it with some of the dumber discussions of Ludinus that presume he is specifically a survivor of Aeor (valid as a theory, but unconfirmed); his (hypothetical) trauma does not negate how many other people's lives he's ruined. Percy is deeply traumatized but he did still introduce the gun to the world. Fjord is traumatized but had he willingly completed Uk'otoa's unsealing that would have caused untold damage. Astrid is traumatized but she's still done terrible things as a Volstrucker. FCG and Yasha are both traumatized and both were not even in control of their actions when they caused their worst harm, and they both feel terrible about what they've done. I mean, touching on this episode, it is not actually a contradiction to say both "Liliana is traumatized and has been indoctrinated by a cult and is a victim of said cult and genuinely believes she is doing this for Imogen's benefit" and also "Liliana is a fucking shitty mom." These are both true. This is what cycles of abuse and generational trauma look like. This is what that "blorbo-centered morality" is; suddenly when it's your favorite character they can do no wrong and every explanation becomes, instead, an excuse.

I've been talking a lot about the harassment in this fandom and it really is like...look, I don't know if this harassment is coming, from some of those partaking in it, from a personal trauma. I do not want to ascribe shitty behavior to mental illness, because some people are just assholes. But if it is - it doesn't make it okay! If you are lashing out and sending hate because you project a lot of your own trauma onto Imogen or your own relationships to that of Imogen and Laudna and you perceive every bit of criticism as an attack on you, guess what! You're being a fucking asshole by trying to hurt other people and it does not ultimately matter that it might come from a place of your own hurt and you need to stop.

I've been going off about this and related topics all morning and so I do want to step back and say that I believe this is a relatively small group of people with an outsized toxic impact. I do think that many people are enjoying the relationship for its complexity and unhealthy, messy aspects, that most people would love to read more Imogen meta that covers her as a whole, complex person and not as a tee hee just a silly guy girlfailure. But yeah, I think everyone is getting increasingly done with the group of people who throw a tantrum and retreat into the most idiotic See Spot Run-levels of conflict fantasies whenever there's actual grit and friction and mess in the relationship.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

HELLO!!! i have a request for a platonic Crowley and Aziraphale x fem!reader with she/they pronouns 😄 if you know Nimona, then thats what i want the reader to be like. theyre a spunky, immortal, young teenager anarchist who can shapeshift and has unnaturally coloured eyes and hair. one day they find the two (husbands), and kinda just stays, so Crowley and Aziraphale accept their fate!! i dont mind if you decide to include a smudge of angst (or a shit ton whatever you prefer, but im impartial to both, so do with that what you will,) because after the newest season, i cant get enough of it.

many thanks!!

Oh! I haven't seen the movie but I know about Nimona!

......

You met Aziraphale and Crowley in 537 AD, encountering them by pure chance.

At first you intimidate them as a dragon, thinking they were two hapless knights who lost their way back to their kingdom..

Until you saw Crowley's snake eyes, and you realize he's not human at all.

"You there...I like your eyes.....are you another shapeshifter?"

"...um..nope." The demon in black armor looks incredibly confused, especially at this dragon talking to him. "Don't know what gave you that idea.."

"Well technically he is." The white knight adds on, smiling nervously. "You see, my erm..."rival" here is something of a serpent who was sent to-"

"Shut it, Angel. This beast doesn't need our lifestory! Now if you could kindly excuse us, o' great dragon, we have to discuss-"

"Hate to break it to you, but....I'm not actually a dragon."

"Then what are you exactly? You...said something about "shapeshifting" before, didn't you?"

To answer Crowley's question, you transform into a young human clad in knight armor, taking off your helmet to reveal your unnaturally-colored eyes and hair, smiling. "Bingo."

The pair are quite impressed, so they have no reason to hide the fact they were an angel and demon.

You explained how you've had these shapeshifting powers for a long time, being on the run since everyone thinks you're a "cursed child" or some monster that was once banished, wanting nothing more than to drive a sword through your heart.

When it's clear that neither Aziraphale nor Crowley have any intentions of hurting you....that's when you decided to stick with them.

It took them 20 years to realize you never aged, learning you're an immortal being in a teenager's body.

Your powers allow you to keep up with the times, disguising yourself as animals, people...or even angels and demons if your heart so desired.

Sometimes you'll turn into a snake much like Crowley's own snake form (although your scales have the color of your hair, ofc, so you're not 100% identical).

You haven't mastered turning just your head into a snake, however.

In the modern era, you enjoy being a nightingale after learning they were both fond of those birds, often singing in the bookshop out of boredom.

Although Crowley's fully aware you're not a demon, you got a spunky and rebellious personality and love getting up to mischief.

And he 100% encourages this (while poor Aziraphale's practically begging you to stay out of trouble).

But you're definitely on the angel's side anytime he compliments Crowley, who just snarls and denies ever doing something "nice" or "good".

You don't believe he's all that evil for even a moment.

While you're aware that they have to act like they despise each other bc they're on opposite sides...in your eyes, they behave so much like an old married human couple.

Aziraphale emphasizing "our car" when talking about the Bentley made you roll your eyes and joke about when the wedding's gonna start.

When Aziraphale returns to Heaven without Crowley, you realize that maybe your "marriage jokes" went a bit too far...even though neither of them blame you for their falling out.

Still, you feel bad bc you can tell Crowley was genuinely in love with him.

You overheard everything, and after his "no nightingales" remark, you're reluctant to shapeshift into one again out of fear of upsetting him.

Yet he asks you, too, as he couldn't bear the silence in the bookshop anymore...and listening to any of Aziraphale's music records would've been too painful for him.

You obliged, staying perched on his shoulder as he stared out the window for hours...hoping that his angel would come back to him.

You hoped so, too, waiting everyday by his side...until the end of time if you had to.

[lampiridaes]

# sick s/o

★ — char ; rui

★ — notes ; HAIHAI don't worry u were the first req actually <3 ANYWAYS if u were sick/are sick while reading this, get well soon !! having a runny nose is my least favorite thing ever. hope u enjoy anooonnnnn >_<

★ — notes (2) ; mention of throwing up, but nothing detailed

★ — requested by ; anon

★ kamishiro rui :

rui knew it was a bad idea the second you two stepped out of school. it started raining, and neither of you had an umbrella...

you kept on persisting that you'd be fine, that it's 'just rain', and such. now look at you, sniffling, warm, and coughing a little. you got a fever.

"...i don't want to have an 'i told you so' moment, dearest, but..."

"i know."

you were even a little cranky about it, as if it was your boyfriend's fault. but he couldn't just leave his poor little s/o alone, right? while they're sick? it'd be far too cruel, even if they... aren't exactly the sweetest partner right now.

besides, it's not like it'll take a long time for you to get better. you'll be back to your usual self in no time! maybe a few days or so? that's what he's hoping for, at least.

day one, trying to get you to eat breakfast so you can take your medicine. your disgusting, horrible medicine that, supposedly, tastes like vanilla. but what does it taste like? not vanilla, that's for sure.

"rui, it's disgusting! quit it!"

"but you won't get better if you don't take it..."

... even in this state, you can't help but feel bad for your boyfriend. yeah, the medicine is disgusting, and you'd rather eat dog food, but he's also doing this for your sake...

with a sigh and an annoyed groan, you take your medicine, almost throwing up on the taste. just what do they put in this thing...?

but that horrible feeling goes away once you see rui's face, so happy and content that you agreed.

"thank you. you'll get better in no time, my dear!"

oh, how you wished you could get better right now.

after a day or so, you were already in the state where you were feeling a lot better, but you were sick. so, rui immediately took the opportunity given to him.

he climbed into your bed and hugged you, kissing you as well. you were so adamant about him staying away from you while you were sick these past few days, he missed holding you!

"...rui, i'm still sic-"

"please, just let me be near you right now."

when he asked so sweetly like that... it's a little hard to decline, no? besides, you missed his touch, too... maybe a few minutes of cuddling would be beneficial!

... guess which wonderlands x showtime member got your cold the very next day.

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 7

Listen, I didn't know how badly I wanted Mew/Ray until there was a legit chance of Mew/Ray and now IT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT. Another killer episode as all the shit gets laid bare, Nick and Sand cement their bond over being pathetic simps for men who do not love them, Top sits in the loser feeling and DOES NOT LIKE IT and...OH YEAH MEW AND RAY ARE DATING NOW I GUESS. Last week Top ran away with the audience poll as I learned the valuable lesson that y'all actually pay attention to the poll question and I should probably think about it a bit more...lol. Here's my rankings for this week

🔹1. Ray (1)

It’s never too late, Mew. I love you no matter what. It’s all up to you whether you want to open your heart to me.

I almost gave it to Mew because FUCKING EPIC but Ray actually got everything he ever wanted by the end of this episode: Mew has decided to give him a chance, even if it's as a rebound. And y'all, I am INTO IT. They're never gonna have sex, obvi, because Mew high key isn't interested and Ray is #1 simp so dumb obsessed he'll never push it, but I'm still enjoying the flavour. Besides, when Ray gets horny or needs actual affection, he'll just call Sand anyway...OOP. So yeah, Ray wins the week.

🔺2. Mew (3)

I stopped being a good guy. I got no shit from that. To deal with nasty people, I must be as nasty as them.

Wasn't it fascinating that when it was time to break bad Mew a) looked to Ray for style inspo, b) decided to let Ray sniff it one time and c) is leaning into the Ray Life? I wanna dissect Mew like a lab specimen. He's like 'I'm gonna be shitty too' and then just...becomes Ray. Then he Boston-style mansplains manipulates manwhores his way into possessing Boston's sex tape. And THEN in what has to be a 100% Mew move (because neither Ray nor Boston would EVER) threatens to out Boston to his dad, but then Uno reverses it like OF COURSE I WOULD NEVER DO THAT BECAUSE I'M BETTER THAN YOU. And he looked like he REALLY fucking enjoyed that vantage point from the moral high ground. He really looks down on those friends of his huh. And his destiny for always having to 'win' his friendships and relationships is being betrayed and cheated on...don't @ me it's canon. I WANT TO STUDY MEW SO BAD, because from one angle he looks righteous and from another he looks like the living fucking worst. Amy Elliot-Dunne, here's looking at you kid.

🔺3. Boston (6)

Okay. I’m here to get yelled at. Yell at me all you want. Get it over with. Come on. I don’t expect it to be over. I just want you to vent. Fine. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It was unintentional. It was so nice of me to introduce Mew to something new. I just borrowed him for a bit. What’s a big deal? Let’s be honest here. Without my help, there was no way Mew got his hands on a top-tier like that.

Boston sashaying into the hostel totally unrepentant is a top 5 Only Friends MOMENT and I LIVED for it. He decided the 'brazen' part of 'brazen slut' was the part to lean into and honestly, as one of the few people this ep actually owning their shit I respected the hell out of that. YEAH I FUCKED HIM, I FUCKED HIM BEFORE YOU DID, AND I FUCKED HIM AGAIN AND SO WHAT? In Boston's mind, everybody wins here: Ray wins, because Mew is single again, Mew wins because he knows Top's an untrustworthy cheater, and he wins because he wanted to fuck Top and he fucked Top. Everybody wins, let's just move on. I love the simplicity of Boston's worldview, and how internally consistent and oddly pure it is. He has the morals of an alley cat, but he never LIES. He'll manipulate, but he never actually deceives. In some ways you can trust him absolutely, he's unwavering. Fascinating.

🔹4. Nick (4)

I love him. He doesn’t have to care about me. I don’t have to be his number one. But he must not hate me. Do you get it?

Man, Nick and Sand were almost tied because equally pathetic this week, but at least Nick got a teensy bit of a kick in by telling Mew about the sex tape. Also interesting how he didn't rat Sand out to Boston despite Sand clearly not thinking or really caring about how sharing the audio clip would blow back on Nick. Nick's a creep, but he has a little bit of a code. Do I feel sorry for him, no I don't, but maybe a teeny tiny bit.

🔻5. Sand (2)

I’m your emergency staff anyway. I’ve always been since the first day we met.

I cannot believe that in episode 7 of Only Friends we got a scene where Sand and Nick hug each other and cry together over how pathetically they simp for shitty men who will never love them. WHOMST is doing it like Jojo n'em, I ask you? THAT MAN CALLED YOU A WHORE IN FRONT OF PEOPLE and then did it again while flinging you to the ground and in return you rescued him from a car crash, fed, bathed and shaved him. Sand has a degradation kink, that's the only thing that makes sense here I swear, because how can one human be down THIS atrocious? I wanna see how low he can go, and I also wanna see if we're getting that baseball bat and WHOM FOR. All the things I wished for Nick before the show aired, I now wish for Sand. Boil that bunny baby.

🔺6. Top (7)

I will make you fall in love with me again.

Top really stunned that he's lost. Look, I know my read on Top isn't the consensus read on Top, and yeah maybe I'm wrong, but to me this is only incidentally about Mew, because for Top Mew is a means of self-actualization. Getting Mew to be his boyfriend was awesome, because it means TOP is awesome. Losing Mew over a rookie fucking mistake is a tragedy because it means Top is a loser. Getting Mew back would reaffirm Top's awesomeness to himself. TOP LOVES THE IDEA OF MEW, NOT MEW. I wish I could show you guys the parade of Tops that my peeps and I have met in life so you could understand why I cannot stand this man and want to see him in ruins. But yeah, he's on the rise, because Mew is totally gonna take him back after his disaster run with Ray.

🔺7. Gap (8)

That look you gave. Was it intended to lure me to come after you?

Drake is back yet again, my favourite guest star. They totally cheated by not letting Gap and Mew actually touch lips, although that's probably character accurate. But Mew gets somebody else to look down on and feel morally superior to, and that's his version of an orgasm so Gap totally got SPIRITUALLY laid.

🔻8. Cheum (5)

I was rooting for Top. I thought he was a good guy.

At least she's keeping the group project afloat so they don't fail this damn class, but literally NOBODY ELSE thought Top was a good guy, NOT EVEN MEW. Jesus fix it girl.

[livfastdieyoung69]

Can I have Edge x Fem reader where she's been friends with him and Christian since they were kids leading to them sharing a kiss in the rain after being locked out of the rental house they're staying in by Christian and Lita?

NOVEMBER RAIN

( Adam ‘Edge’ Copeland x gn!Reader)

“This isn’t funny guys, it’s cold out here!” Adam yelled from beside you, pounding onto the motel room door as you shivered and tried to shove yourself further into your coat. Christian and Lita had decided it would be funny to lock the two of you outside after honking the horn and sprinting from the car as fast as they could, startling the two of you awake in the backseat to stumble out into the pouring rain, just on the verge of snow thanks to being in the ever freezing Alaska. It wasn’t often visited by WWE, but every once in a while it was sprung upon everyone.

“I can hear you giggling in there! I’m gonna get pneumonia again and I’m gonna tell everyone it’s all your guys’ fault!” Once, last year, you’d gotten a little too tipsy after a big win and went to celebrate with your boys- of course they were there, the three of you were never far from each other- and had been coaxed into a few snow angels. Of course, you had no coat, or gloves, not even a hat, and caught a pretty bad case of pneumonia. Whenever you wanted something really bad you just pretended you were still mad at them for it. Usually it worked, but this time your trick seemed unsuccessful.

With a groan, you turned from the door and pouted your way to the bench not far from your room. Thankfully it was under a bit of roof so the rain couldn’t reach it. Tucking your knees close to your chest in hopes of a little bit more warmth, you watched Adam come join you on the bench.

“Think they’ll let us in soon?” You asked, tilting your head onto his shoulder and looking out on the rain. He shrugged underneath you.

“Who knows. I think this might be Christians payback for last week so we might be out here for a little.” The two of you had superglued Christians cup to his hand when he was too busy kissing all up on Lita to notice. Giggling at the memory, your pout recluses as you shuffle further into Adam’s side, his arm coming up to sit over your shoulder.

“Seems like the start of a prank war to me.” You spoke with fond memories quickly returning. ‘Prank Wars’ as your little trio liked to call them, were definitely not new, you just had an added enemy this time. Your hand left its nice, warm pocket for the warmth of Adam’s instead, fingers joining together and dangling over your shoulder with a comforting squeeze.

“Let the prank wars…” He moved in closer to you, whispering some dumb accent into your ear. “Commence!!” God, what a weirdo. And didn’t you just love him for it? Here you sat, pretending like he was just oh-so-weird, when he had you giggling and more bashful than you knew possible! It seemed to be a normal thing, he’d always make you sheepish and giddy with laughter, and at some point, when it was just the two of you, he’d started ending your giggles with a sweet kiss. Only when it was the two of you though, no one else knew. You weren’t really sure why, maybe it was just nice for the two of you to finally have something to yourselves. You didn’t have to share him with the rest of the world, even if they watched him wrestle at least once a week.

Your hand squeezed his again as you picked your head up from his shoulder with a huge grin, the one he was happy to have put there. Your other hand, which had been happily tucked between your legs and enjoying the warmth moved to cup his jaw, softly touching the little bit of stubble that’d grown since last night. Finally, with love sick grins, soft lips met soft lips. Neither of you want to put back, enjoying the warmth both emotionally and literally, it was fucking freezing, but when you finally do both of your ear-to-ear smiles return before another quick peck.

“How are we gonna get ‘em back?” You mutter, barely centimeters from him. You could see his tiny little freckles, he could see all the indents of your skin. Before he’s able to answer, the door swings open, and Christian and Lita pop their heads out. Lita, with a grin the size of Texas, but Christian looks like a scorned mother.

“Now, what in the hell is this?” He sounded like a scorned mother too.

Just a cute lil thing, today was my first day off of not even kidding the MONTH and I’ve been kicked back off the Netflix account so no supernatural for me 😔 ive cleaned, ive read a book and a half, ive now wrote im going stir crazy i dont even know what to do with free time anymore

Anyways hope you enjoyed i dont like love this but its not bad ig

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 22!!

And we're back to Team Ineffable!

Since the winning vote from the Fanfiction question was to include smut, Younglings beware. I don't mention anything specific, other than a vague line about some trolls. I will link the fic for those who want it. That's as bad as it gets. You're still good to read this on the bus if you're the kind of person who worries about the old ladies sitting behind you (pro tip, if they're reading smut off your phone over your shoulder, they're enjoying it).

Next installment we're meeting Jeremy!!

Okay, let's do this.

Beginning || Previous || Next

******************************************

The five of you have been on the road for a few hours now, and honestly it’s been very uneventful (disappointing, I know). In the last five hours, the peak of Interesting Happenings was Aziraphale wondering if the Shuffle was working properly on the playlist, because he was certain they hadn’t put nearly so much Taylor Swift on it. But the song quickly switched to Moonlight Sonata, so Aziraphale stopped complaining. That’s it. You sort of vaguely notice that that music has drifted back to Taylor Swift, but it’s all basically white noise at this point.

It is for this reason that you pull out your Miracle Enabler, and decide that you may as well get started since you have the time. With a quick glance around the car, you pull off a number and make a wish.

No one questions the book for another hour. It’s about the size of a graphic novel, slightly bigger than you would have liked, but aside from that it’s exactly what you wanted. The cover is a nondescript light brown moleskin (because moleskin feels SO nice), the only clue of its contents on the front, written in red script: AO3 Favourites: Good Omens Edition. Making the book was step one, and step two is reading the entire thing (vital, you see, got to make sure it’s nice, complete, and accurate). So far, it’s perfect. A tip-top piece of Miracle Making, if you do say so yourself.

“Oh!” Aziraphale says from the front seat, “I didn’t realize you brought a book!” Of course he’s the first one to notice. You wonder if you’re blushing at all because you’re pretty sure you know the next question he’s going to ask. “What is it that you’re reading?”

Yup. Nailed it.

For a moment you hesitate. Should you? Well, there was nothing to be ashamed of really. He’d probably read Lady Chatterly’s Lover and had it signed by the author.

“Oh come now,” the angel presses, “There’s no reason to worry, you’ve seen my bookshop after all.” There’s a twinkle in his eye that makes the decision for you. Well. He asked. Whatever happens next, it’s his fault.

“Well,” You say, “I was starting to miss some of my favourite stories from back home, so I made them into a book.” You hold up the volume, showing the cover.

“How lovely!” Aziraphale says, “What kind of stories do you have in there?”

“Smutty fanfiction.”

Crowley and Sardis both start laughing (Crowley’s going to regret that in a minute, you think), Anathema has put down her phone and is smiling as she tries to contain laughter herself. Aziraphale isn’t laughing.

“I...beg your pardon?” He asks in his I’d-be-clutching-pearls-if-I-had-them voice.

“Well,” You say, “Good Omens is my favourite thing--”

“-- The story about me and Crowley,” Aziraphale interrupts.

“Yeah,” You say, “That one. It’s my favourite thing, and a lot of other people’s too, so a lot of them write fanfiction about it. Like...stories about you and Crowley in...alternative situations and realities.”

Neither Aziraphale or Crowley have figured out where you’re going with this yet, but Anathema has, and she can’t seem to contain herself any longer.

“Oh my god,” she looks at you across Sardis, glee and amusement lighting up her face, “You made a book of your favourite Aziraphale-Crowley porn!?”

You notice that Crowley has stopped laughing. He and Aziraphale are staring straight ahead now, and the tips of their ears are going red.

“Pretty much, yeah,” You say in answer to Anathema. She cackles in response.

“Wow,” she manages between fits of laughter, “I wonder what that looks like!”

Okay, well with that kind of encouragement how can you not elaborate?

“Oh,” You say, “I can tell you exactly what that looks like. In every version you can think of. I have them as is, I have them as fairies, trolls, merfolk, aliens, mixed species, humans, some experimentation of celestial forms, and reversed. I have them as men, women, mixed, fluid, doppelgangers, current time, through history, future, on beds and ceilings and in public bathrooms. Every kink and position you can imagine. In canon, canon divergent and – ”

“FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE,” Thunders Aziraphale from the front seat, “WOULD YOU STOP PLEASE.”

You go quiet. Which bothers you because you hadn’t quite finished. You bounce your knee for a second before adding quietly:

“And crossovers.” There. Now you’re done. Aziraphale groans in frustration from the front seat. For a moment you sit there, book closed, hands in your lap. At some point during the conversation the music had stopped altogether, and now the car is just full of a horrible smothering silence. You’re starting to regret bringing this up, until you notice Anathema’s hand, reaching across Sardis, making gimme motions. With a glance up at the front seat, you hand the book across to Anathema, who immediately opens it and starts flipping through it, Sardis leaning over her shoulder.

“Oi!” Crowley calls. He’s staring at you through the rearview mirror. Huh, you didn’t think he actually used the rearview mirror. You learn something new every day apparently.

“Look,” You say, “It’s important.”

Aziraphale scoffs.

“No really,” You pull out the Miracle Enabler and wave it around, “I’ve been thinking about this thing. And I’m thinking hey, there might be a very real chance that we end up in a boss fight kind of situation. And I was thinking that I should probably know exactly what I can do with this thing before I’m standing on a battle field.” You take out a folded piece of paper, and hand it to Aziraphale. He takes it and unfolds the list written on motel stationary.

“Hm,” He says, putting his glasses on his nose.

Movement in your peripheral vision distracts you. Anathema is waving at you. She’s found that some of the stories are illustrated, and she’s landed on “Boon of the Blue Moon,” specifically the illustration that shows Troll!Aziraphale and Troll!Crowley in a very interesting position that’s only achievable for trolls with long tails, or acrobats who occasionally work from home. Her eyes and mouth are wide as she mouths “OH MY GOD.” Sardis mirrors mock-horror.

It takes all of your self control to hold in your laughter and try to wave them away. If Aziraphale sees this right now, he might actually smite you. And Crowley would probably help him. (And yeah, okay, you still have four lives left, but let’s not use up one of them on friendly fire if we can help it.)

“Make something that doesn’t exist,” Aziraphale reads aloud, “Make a common object, what’s this Matrix- Kung Fu mean?”

“It’s like...shorthand for giving myself a talent or skill that I never actually learned.”

“Ah,” He replies, folding the list again and handing it back, “I just don’t understand why you needed to start with...erm...”

“Smut,” You finish. The blush is creeping across his face, and you figure that saving him from saying the word out loud is the decent thing to do. Aziraphale nods as he removes his glasses and places them back in his pocket.

“Um yes, that.”

“Well some of them are really beautiful. I mean the sheer talent of these people. There are some stories in there that are so lovely they actually made me cry. And let me tell you, there are an awful lot of critically-acclaimed ‘proper’ works that haven’t evoked emotion for me the way that these have. It’s not just about the sex.” You decide to leave the Plot-What-Plot stories out of this for now. When you’re making progress in an argument, it’s important to quit when you’re ahead.

Aziraphale considers this for a moment, before the car’s audio turns back on, blaring Taylor Swift’s Love Story.

Under the cover of music, you lean over and say quietly to Anathema (and Sardis) “Wait till I show you the comics.”

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

Beginning || Previous || Next

[apoptoses]

♟ If they like board games, and how good they are at ‘em (for Armand)

and of course

☾ Sleeping habits (for Our Boys daniel/armand/louis 👀)

♟ If they like board games, and how good they are at ‘em (for Armand)

Does he like board games? Yes. Is he good at them? To the point Daniel has refused to play at times lmao

I just think he'd be the worst combination of rules lawyer but also arbitrary. Like if they're playing ticket to ride he's analyzing every move Daniel makes and denying him the ability to move a single car if it's already touched the board. You start placing your cars along a route and realize there's a better path? Too bad, you set one token down, Armand is not allowing take backs. Catan? He's ruthless, he knows the rules and will make life hell.

But he's also the kind of demon who learned about the concept of 'house rules' from drunk Daniel back in the 80s, and now the Trinity Gate monopoly nights take like seven hours because properties aren't being auctioned off and every time Lestat says anything about how this shit is unfair, he's the prince- he's forced to place $100 in the pot in the middle of the board and game drags on and on and fucking on.

Also I see him into those really complex modern board games that have like, six decks of cards, a rule book as thick as a dictionary, and need at least an hour to explain to a new player. Like wingspan or time stories. But that's fine because everyone in the household has their preferred complex game (I think Louis would dig time stories tbh) and he's down for any of them.

☾ Sleeping habits (for Our Boys daniel/armand/louis 👀)

Oh man oh man I had to marinate on this one, I have THOUGHTS.

This is a relationship configuration where Armand can sit back and be doted on and he's taking advantage of that. Like he is always always always sleeping in the middle on the nights they're all home. He just really enjoys the weight and comfort of being surrounded by the two of them but in like, two main configurations-

Armand on his back, with Louis and Daniel on their sides facing him- a fave because he gets the joy of their faces tucked up close to his cheek/neck, or a chin resting on his shoulder. ALSO because he gets the entertainment value of Louis and Daniel trying to figure out whose arm goes where like who gets to hold his waist, who gets a hand on his chest.

And it's awkward the first couple times because neither of them know if its okay if their arms brush, like what if they BOTH want their hand on Armand's chest? But after a few nights everyone is used to it, and occasionally Armand will feel Daniel's hand push against Louis' and shove it over a little just to be a pest. And Armand hears Louis sigh but he doesn't take the bait and push back like Lestat would, he just waits until the night Daniel is least expecting it and grabs his hand and holds onto it. And now they're buddies who share a bed with their shared boyfriend and hold hands and boy does that make for some interesting eavesdropping into Louis' mind for Armand.

Armand getting spooned by Louis, with Daniel on his side wrapped around Armand like an octopus- This one happens most often if Daniel is a straggler and comes to bed last. He has to lift Armand's arm, sneak in and snuggle up with his face buried in Armand's chest. And he's tall so being down this low results in his feet sticking off the bottom of the bed but that's alright, sometimes waking up with two people playing with his hair makes up for it.

And Armand likes this because he gets to feel squashed between them but his face is still out, and Louis would like it because his chin can rest atop Armand's head. Because I think both of them have some weird trauma that would lead them to wanting to be able to see their surroundings as soon as they open their eyes, and not want to feel smothered before they fall asleep. Like Louis getting buried in the wall in that coffin, and Armand's....everything. They're both a little hypervigilant as a result.

ALSO

In my heart of hearts Armand is like Lestat, a morning (evening?) person who is ready to get out of bed and go. But Louis and Daniel both like to linger in that space between death sleep and wakefulness, where they're napping like mortals and groggy.

And Daniel missed out on sleeping a full night with Armand for so long, right? Like as a mortal he'd wake up groping for Armand even though he's not there, and would wind up hugging a pillow instead.

So now whenever Armand springs out of bed alone and gets dressed he gets treated to the sight of Daniel shifting around until he snuggles up to Louis' arm and gets settled again. And Louis is so used to Lestat clinging that he doesn't even stir, he's accepted that tall blond men drooling on his shoulder is his fate ♥

[thesevenwondersofawitch]

The Brothers Sun ep8

Understandable that the Tea Leaf guy won't talk unless Big Sun is brought down

Aw, they're staying in a motel

Mama Sun is so done that Bruce couldn't get the name for dragon head right 😂

She makes her son drive at night because she gets lost😭

She bought 6 pasta strainers just because they were on sale

"You are not a crime boss. You're my mom." She can be both

I get where she's coming from, but it never sits right to be mad at the kid who didn't

NOOOOOOOOOO Charles nooooooooooooooo

Oh thank god, he shot above his brother's head

The mom's hand on Charles shoulder 😭 I bet she came running

I love that Bruce said that it's going to lead to decades of therapy (that his brother was sent to kill him by their father)😂

Charles don't hurt your brother! He has a point about killing your father

The fact that Bruce said he'd do anything to protect his brother 😭

The way the mom admitted that the chairleg incident was a test and she didn't push back against the father when he forced Charles to kill the first time😭

At least she's showing the remorse and guilt she feels for sacrificing

"Forget dad, you can be Charles -churro baker Sun"😭

The way that the mom has a charger for her son's phone😭

Oh, Charles just realized how he was betrayed

Xing telling the Wang bros that they need to shut up makes me hope she at least feels some guilt for betraying

The dad is such an asshole

Good for you Charles, telling your dad you want to stay. I'm proud of you❤️

The way I cheered when Charles shot those douche bags😂

Oh no, Xing is going to kill the mother and brother 😭

Well fuck indeed, Charles, fuck indeed

Alexis saying that they don't have shrimp chips😂

Him asking for a charger is not permission to track his phone

Alexis is far worse than Charles ever could be

Mama Sun wearing an oversized jersey is so cute

Yeah, Xing sucks and blood boots would never

The fact that the mom is immediately chastising Bruce for getting the wrong milk😂

FUCK YOU ALEXIS. FUCK YOU

Bruce is absolutely playing her😂 the improv classes work!

I love how Charles is just as shocked that the mom can fight 😂😂

Bruce planning to kill their dad😂

I mean, him being good at Laser Tag and also beating his actual assassin brother at a shooting video game is hilarious and actually makes sense

Bruce: "Neither of us are who our parents thought we were."

Charles"Yeah, but both our parents are crazy."

Bruce: "yeah."

Bruce, hugging Charles: "I don't think we've ever hugged before."

Charles: "Well, you're probably gonna die, so might as well get one last one before you go."😂

Bruce: "Right."

Bruce, handing his visitor badge to Alexis: "The Brothers Sun don't work with cops." HA!

Oh no, Bruce don't listen to that serpent of a father who's telling you to join him.

I love that Charles made sure to shoot his dad and missed the internal organs 😂 It definitely pays

The way that Bruce said he'd use his spit to make his taco dumplings 😂

I'm pretty sure that it was Bruce's plan all along to get his brother and mom to cook for him forever😂

FUCK YEAH! THE MAMA INJECTING THE DAD'S IV BAGS WITH INSULIN IS WICKED AND GENIUS AND I'M SO HAPPY FOR HER!

Awwwww she bought her son a bakery 😭🥺

Hopefully that other girl isn't

The way she brought gifts to her friends

I love that she wants her kids to have lives and be happy 🥺❤️

Good for Alexis that she got a tower of her snack

The pictures in the mom's room with both her boys🥺😭

I'm crying with Bruce and Mama Sun too😭 nothing bad better happen to her

Oh nooooo, Charles is leaving too😭 I mean I'm happy that he's gonna get some time with his mama and that she's finally getting what she wants

I love that June has dinner reservations already 😂 she's got her priorities straight

The fact that Bruce still struggles to drive his car is hilarious and relatable af😂

I really hope we get another season, just because this was so well written and I enjoyed this show so much. But it also ended on a great note.

Ooooooo I wonder who that guy with the sunglasses sounds like he's being sent after Tea guy

Also still curious about who the man was that Eileen had been dancing with in Taiwan

[gioiaalbanoart]

Writing interview tag!

Triple tag, so...I'm going to do this 😁

Thank you @moltenwrites 💗 @aintgonnatakethis 💗 and @the-letterbox-archives 💗

A couple of things : I'm an artist too so I might end up doing some parallels between painting and writing. Also....I usually talk A LOT 😁 but tend do be pretty dry in writing, so I might cut it short on certain answers

About me

When did you start writing?

Since I was in elementary school and I learned letters, probably. I used to draw/fake-writing "comics" even before.

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?

I don't have genres neither in reading or writing. Maybe themes ? Existential, spirituality, some kind of magic, investigation, love?

In fact what suits me the best is the follow : if I love the characters I go everywhere.

Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?

Compared? (laughs) No way! Salinger was probably a God. I still like Isabel Allende and there are for sure many others that right now I don't remember (also italian and french authors since I speak those languages , for instance Camilleri and Japrisot ). The list would be veeeeeery long.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

A table. A need a table, and a chair or something I can sit on. And even so I tend to take weird postures.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

I don't think I have a specific way. Sometimes just the Goddesses know where the muse is!

BUT I'm stubborner so I sit at my computer anyway or I wander around faking tiding the studio (if I'm gonna do art) and at some point she usually shows up.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?

Probably somehow they're there. More at an emotional level I would say. Like I might write something completely unrelated (which is what I do) but I can connect the dots in terms of perceptions, sensations, emotions.

Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?

Surprise? No. It's pretty much the same old same old for me 😂 both in writing and painting : healing, recovery,evolution,some kind of spirituality and soul magic.

Characters:

would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

It's easy 😂 I mainly have ONE and she's pestering me about focusing on her story. Ashley Knox from my wip The scarred angel.

The title was suppose to be temporary but I got used to it and I'm lazy to find something else 😎. Oh and I'm generally BAD at titles, I have the same problem for my paintings.

Ashley is a stunning beautiful girl with scars all over her face since she was sixteen and a bit of a temper.

She has to investigate about something happening mainly along the mexican border which means dealing with a pretty violent world, drug cartels and so on.

Amy Salinas, journalist with PTSD, will stuck with her, becoming first a friend than a significant other....at some point.

Ashley has also intention to take her revenge against who scarred her.

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

I would definitely be friend with Ashley! Just I'll make her come here….it's a bit safer than where she lives.

which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?

Well, the one who scarred Ashley probably. He will be the worst in my wip....even if, by the time I'll be finished, I'm afraid there will be a few.

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?

LOL. There is no process.... They come in my brain and decide to stay there until I consider writing their story. Ones are more stubborn than others and those generally win.

Also they usually come (Ashley did) quite "completed", it's their story that I have to develop and then they grow and become wider and deepest characters. Like : when they arrive and squat my brain they don't say it all right away, I have to find out by myself.

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?

I would say polarities and some kind of spirituality and personal moral code. then they heal, or grow or both.

How do you picture your characters? 🤔 I listen when they talk….then I try to figure how bloody hell I'm going to show their actions to the world 😁

My writing:

what’s your reason for writing?

I use to say that painting for me is like walking, I don't think about it, it comes naturally, it's just there. It was there even during the fifteen years I didn't paint at all. Writing on the opposite is much more complex for me, I struggle more and is more related to a personal healing process. The more I dig in a story, whatever the story is, the more I actually connect my own dots, I see a path and then go further, it's like evolving in the process for many different reasons but with the explaining part, since I use words. And it never goes straight from point A to point B, damn it!

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating?

All of them, really. I get all emotional 😅 My problem is I have to make a REAL EFFORT to let the comment sink in....I'm still pretty hard to myself when it comes to writing and I don't believe fully the good comments. I'm trying to get better 😁

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Jeez, I don't know. A badass ? 😂 If I surprise them in a good way it's all good.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Maybe dialogues. I enjoy my characters talking .

What have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?

Oh dear,I don't have the answer. I recently wrote something pretty hard topic and apparently all the emotions I wanted put in went through ....so I'll take that.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I'm happy, it will get better, I want to have fun with it.

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?

Oh yeah, and painting too. You never know....

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

This is a good one! I would be lying if I say that sometimes other possible opinions (it's always all in our head!) never cross my minds trying to influence me.

But I'm also happy to say that I discharge the idea off quite easily now and just go on my way. Otherwise I would certainly ending to block myself completely. I know, I did it already.

I feel the unbalance in my body and soul and it doesn't click so it usually "dissolve" pretty quick.

Fluffy NP tag (and sorry if I double tag !! ) because I'm really curious and I don't think I already read them for this particular game : @alinacapellabooks @fortunatetragedy @lavender-gloom @lychhiker-writes @saturnine-saturneight @words-after-midnight @noxxytocin + OPEN TAG FOR ALL and a drink too 🍻 🍻🍻