#oh yeah i’m autistic.
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The bride and the ugly ass groom
#👻🪲#<- oh right this is a tag I use for all my self indulgent doowop bug bullshit#what is wrong with me.#someone made a funny comment about how mama doo wop’s girlfriend is the bug woman#that’s literally all they did#and now i’m fixated on the idea of two one-time characters who we’ll never hear from again being together why am i like thi-#oh yeah i’m autistic.#ah.#charlie stfu#shitpost#digital doodles#life in the world to come#litwtc#litwtc fanart#chris dunne#will wood#mama doo-wop#bug woman
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man laios and toshiro's/shuro's dynamic is incredibly compelling to me on multiple levels
when you look at them, you can see the cultural and personal barriers that drive almost every single aspect of their relationship, both positively and negatively. laios is incredibly outspoken and driven by his passions, which he expresses freely even in the face of annoyance and/or criticism- he's allowed to be as authentically himself as he pleases, and it's this drive that allows him and the others to survive as long as they have, especially due to the fact that these passions and interests are intertwined with his skills as a dungeon diver. toshiro, in contrast, is incredibly reserved, not only due to his eastern upbringing but also his status as nobility- a combo of cultures that both demand that one save face, to avoid conflict at any cost, even at the expense of one's own feelings and individuality. this, in turn, has made toshiro the perfect samurai, as he's politely-spoken, agreeable, and an honorable, skilled man. both are also incredibly devoted to falin on different levels, having come to accomplish the same mission of her rescue despite drifting apart from the party.
on the flipside, it's these same strengths that cause them to clash- laios is outspoken but unable to truly decipher the emotions of others, leading to a lot of false assumptions and frustration from those who interact with him. toshiro is stoic but to the point of complacency, leading to a aggressively neutral disposition that's ushered by the needs and wants of others, rather than himself. neither man truly knows where they stand with the people important to them in their lives, and hold the ones that they do know how they feel with a fierce admiration expressed in ways that aren't always traditional.
in the end, they both share a growing feeling of isolation from other people that comes to a head when they meet again in the depths of the dungeon, and they both have different ways of coping with the frustrations that arise, seeing the other as only the things they have seen face to face.
it's laios' ability to express himself emotionally without consequence that sparks jealousy in toshiro, leading to a physical fight born out of miscommunication and envy. while toshiro is a driving force in the conflict, it should be noted that the actual fight is started by laios, breaking the dam of indirect communication through force. nothing is more direct than a slap to the face, and it's only after they start hitting each other that toshiro's true feelings come to light.
however, at the end of it all, toshiro is the one who stops torturing himself, listening to laios and giving him the bell, allowing laios and his party entrance into his homeland should they need it, and ultimately giving him support in his mission to defeat the dungeon mage, albeit in his own way. despite it all, they're still good friends with a conflict that boiled over, but came out the other end with a slightly better understanding of each other. the fight was painful for both of them, but it was a necessity for their dynamic to improve, and for them to be made aware of their faults and improve as individuals as well.
but also, if you think about it, their dynamic is literally just this
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#laios touden#laios dungeon meshi#toshiro nakamoto#shuro#shuro dungeon meshi#character analysis#anyways toshiro haters with surface level takes get the hell off my lawn boy#i hope you know this entire character analysis was born out of the realization that i'd seen this dynamic before in a different light#and i thought. man. what is the funniest comparison i could make here rn. and i'm still right abt it btw#oh yeah also of course the autism read is still there#as an autistic person myself they don't read at all like neurotypical v autism. they read a LOT more like autism v autism#you know how people with autism either get along REALLY well with other people with autism or repel each other with a force#yeah they're basically that. to me#reading toshiro as autistic with the immigrant lens btw makes him even more compelling to read that way#but that is an analysis for another time#man i missed writing these#dungeon meshi spoilers#i should tag this actually. bc i’m right#laishuro
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being autistic is only having the spoons to try to make friends mmmm once every 5 years or so and then rinsing and repeating until you die
#autistic_swagger.jpeg#like i can literally count back every 5 years and be like oh yeah! i had the strength to mask and try to meet people :(#which isn’t necessarily good but like friends are important and it’s hard#and like…..making them is so much easier than keeping them#especially with audhd going on in my brain. like out of sight out of mind!#or worse—i’m sitting there thinking everything is good & fine and thinking about a friend a lot#but meanwhile they’re like we haven’t seen each other in ages i thought we weren’t friends anymore#actuallyautistic#autistic#autism#adhd#audhd#neurodivergent#neurospicy
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One day I’m gonna drop the full list of characters I enjoy but just never mention it (Roark and Byron are two of these)
#for my sake (character favoritism) I think .#Skyla is Dawn’s more immediate family and as a result is more involved#but like Roark and Byron are very very distant relatives on Johanna’s side#Byron and Johanna are like cousins 7 families/generations apart#and so just barely know each other outside of like one family reunion#cousins who go “oh yeah I’m related to to that person#Roark and Dawn are an extremely autistic duo though i think#those two go into the underground and go missing for a year before they come back with a whole wheelbarrow of rocks#they don’t know they’re related until like years later
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fun side effect (thats so not the right word but idc) of being aro is that while everybody else is in love with fictional characters, i just really want to be their friend!!! i just really really really want to give them a hug & make them a nice warm drink (yes i am one of those people that makes drinking tea their whole personality. what about it.) like. i just. i want to listen to them rant about their life & how their day was. I WANT TO LISTEN TO THEM INFODUMP‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ ugh. just please be neurodivergent with me for a minute. please. guys. autism. please.
#also nd does not just mean adhd/autism but that is what i’m referring to here‼️‼️#also i am actually autistic i am not just saying autism for no reason LMAO#but uh yeah. anywyas. love my silly little guys. just want to give them a hug & listen to them rant#please please pkease tell me about your special interest or current hyperfixation or whatever#i want to hear everything tell me every single little detail i love you#ALSO ON THAT NOTE!!!! i experience platonic love SO FUCKING AGGRESSIVELY#and i feel like alloromantic people do not understand that as much???#like i said to one of my friends thst they were ‘one of my best friends’#and they were like wdym. u only have one best friend. and i was like bro. actually i love you all so intensely so don’t even say that man#like i just. ugh. i love ny friends so much. platonic love is truly sososososoo beautiful & we need to appreciate it more bc what.#anywyas.#aromantic#aro#arospec#tea#comfort character#autism#adhd#yeah idk that’s all i got#oh one more.#martin blackwood#bc that is really who i’m talking about here lets be so real
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I’d genuinely sell a kidney to try ADHD meds. For the bit, of course.
#I talk about this all the time oh my god shut upp#idk it’s crazy I’m just like hm. if it really is a lack of dopamine or whatever and meds helped that would be crazyyy#my now well-adjusted friend says she acts just like me when she’s off her adhd meds which is hilarious#I think about that a lot#but yeah back to the status quo of what people think of me:#I’m so lazy I’m so stupid blah blah blah there’s nothing wrong with me and I’m soooooo normal#I’m ‘just autistic and I don’t have adhd symptoms’
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*Distant barking*
6 Days…
#chat#you gotta trust me on this#this is going to be matpats song#I’m telling you#listen to the lyrics#(they teased it in the FNAF lyric challenge vid)#“’where does someone hide from all the evil they’re creating’#hmmm#who was freaking out about covering his tracks last time#oh yeah#MatPat#plus the way the lyrics flow#really feels like what they’re doing for matpatscharacter#no I’m not autistic why do you ask#random encounters#fnaf the musical#madpat#fnaf shadows of agony
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i swear every time i try to write spirk fanfiction i just end up writing spock’s inner monologue for like 2000 words
#how do y’all do this#and i always see people complaining about writing his perspective#like it’s hard or something#i think this is because i’m autistic#it’s like#‘oh yeah i should write some spirk fanfiction’ and then 5 pages later i look back and it’s all just spock thinking to himself#why do i do this#spirk#tos spirk#like i’m over 1000 words in and he hasn’t spoken to anyone#he’s just in his room thinking
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Did autism bingo while I was at the dentist and wow. next time I’m questioning if I’m actually autistic or not imma just look at this asjhskshsds
#oh yeah also hi I’m autistic#I forget if I’ve said that yet on this blog or not#not a poll#actually autistic
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I say this with the deepest sense of hatred imaginable, fuck this article
#‘read more’ no I don’t think I will#hey google why was this a recommended article. wanna tell me why that is. wanna tell me why you thought I’d like this shit#there’s a difference between an opinion piece and literal ableism lmao fuck you man#this especially hits a nerve for me because I was a quote unquote snobby kid who was really just autistic#yeah hate to break it to you but I wasn’t locking myself in my room everyday and destroying things and screaming because I was bored#it was because I had debilitating anxiety and sensory overload that I didn’t understand or know how to deal with#pretty funny how the ‘snobby’ behavior stopped almost the second I got on meds and learned coping skills. huh. interesting#actually fuck this by the way this makes me so angry I can’t even verbalize it#yes there are kids who are just Being Kids. but ever stop to consider that maybe they’re going through something they can’t verbalize#saying that autistic behaviors are bratty is So fucking damaging. ppl will internalize it and turn that stress towards themselves#meltdowns that would’ve otherwise been outward get internalized and start self destructive behavior#my fucking source? points at myself#and using the term ‘functioning’ also pisses me the hell off#yeah I’m ‘high functioning’ until I’m Not and I can’t talk or move#also Nobody is just handing out autism diagnoses left and right to random kids who are defiant sometimes#my brother in Christ I would like to see a source for that. where’s the proof that this is happening other than rising autism rates#fuck you fuck you and most importantly actually just plain fuck you#I’ve been treated like shit by total strangers because I have selective mutism. that shit is traumatic#I wasn’t fucking Misbehaving when an old fuck starting publically yelling at me and berating me because I didn’t say hi back to him#I wasnt being ‘defiant’ when I could barely leave my fucking room for weeks afterwards and had panic attacks every fucking day#why the fuck would anyone let this article be published#tw ableism#so sorry for not being ladylike! it’s not the Victorian era you dipshit! I’m not trying to be rude I am autistic#but apparently autism doesn’t work like that so oh ok I guess I’m just a bad person. thanks for confirming my suspicions
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Does anyone else like. Have a disconnection between characters and their face models cbdndhendhdnd
Like Ik Capcom changes a GOOOOOOOD amount about the characters and so they’re not one-to-one recreations of their models but like. I’ll look at photos of Leon and his face model side by side or ESPECIALLY Luis and his face model side by side and I’m like. Yeah I GUESS I see similarities but????????? Eeehhh?????????????
Does this make sense to anyone else am I making any sense
#I See more of a Connection with their voice actors?? like whenever I see them acting out their character I’m like Oh Yeah that’s Luis etc#am I crazy. is this just me#or am I autistic
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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.
#blue chatter#am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing#but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture#which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people#autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people#depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay#but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL#and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them#I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house#their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting#I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation#they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo#which is rly neat#it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e#it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid#and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun#I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^
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Personally, as an autistic person, I love people being flabbergasted about pronouns. Oh wah wah wah you’re having issues with how to refer to people?? Baybe I’ve been struggling not to refer to myself in the second person since 1997, don’t @ me until it takes you 20 years to remember which way is right and which way is left without making an L with your fingers
#i’m kidding btw pronoun discourse is exhausting#and dated!! haven’t we figured this out already? i’ve been here since 2010 i thought Discourse was Over ™️#referring to myself in the second person? oh yeah baby#misgendering cis ppl b/c all language sounds like simlish? hell yeah brother#actually autistic#autism#<- i wish these had the rainbow tags too lol#lgbtqia#lgbt#gay#lesbian#trans#queer#bisexual#i just like the colors tbh#homosexuality#<- iirc this one doesn’t get the colors which wow hahaha how… typical#nonbinary#didn’t realize i’ve been using they/them my entire life talking about ppl i wasn’t specifying because it felt right?#wasn’t even tryna be woke pronouns are just hard mang
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not to sound like a redditor again but holy fuck it’s actually so annoying to be smarter than most people and it creates actual problems in my life. I have to be so careful about anything I say because even if it’s correct, people my level and above me will feel like I am making them look bad or challenging their authority so every fucking thing I say has to be this careful construction of explaining the same thing over and over again until I can finally lead them to the right answer so they don’t feel like I’m smarter than them.
#like I gave some VERY basic background on how APIs work to make my answer of ‘since the SME isn’t here you really need to talk to the#developer’ make sense#and 5 very very frustrating ‘well can they just do this?’ ‘yeah if they can target that endpoint’ ‘well can they target that end point?’#‘I don’t know and it’s not documented so you’ll have to ask [developer]’ ‘oh okay but what about this?’#and then repeat that 5 times but each time the field suggestion is different#but she’s technically my boss so I can’t even say ‘this is why I said you’d need to ask [developer] I do not have the answer you need’ bc#bc the last time I did that I got yelled at.#it’s even worse with my male superiors and like#I don’t know if I’m actually just smarter than everyone or if I’m just like super autistic or something????#it’s such a stupid thing to complain about too and it sounds so arrogant and self centered#but also like. that is my experience…#but also I can’t imagine that I’m actually meaningfully smarter than 3/4 of the people I meet????????#like am I just unlucky?????
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oooooooo wait that bit about the curse skewing time and how it was only 5 days 👀 I’d love to hear about that
OKAY. LET’S DO THIS.
so, my theory is that the curse does in fact skew time. in the movie, gaston says “maurice! i’ve spent the last five days trying to find you!” and this is the same night that the curse will be broken. implying that it’s been Only Five Days since gaston left maurice to the wolves in the forest. this, in turns, implies that it’s only been five days since adam and belle met. and while i am happy to play the Disney Soulmates card, and maybe it was five days, i have some ideas as to why it maybe felt longer than that.
firstly, and for some inexplicable reason this needs to be readdressed every now and then, let’s discuss how long the curse has been happening. in batb 1991, lumiere says it’s been ten years in his song be our guest. this, along with the ‘91 narration saying the last petal would fall on adam’s 21st birthday, has unfortunately led to far too many people thinking that adam was cursed as an 11 year old child. this just isn’t true! not only is it positively insane to think that an enchantress would punish a child that way, you really need not look further than our beloved boy chip.
regardless of how old you think he is, i would bet that majority of us agree he’s younger than 10. the batb 2017 script says that he’s 8, which sounds about right. but regardless, he’s very most likely younger than 10. now, if you truly think the curse is Ten Real Years Long, i want you to look me in the eye and try to convince me that a teapot gave birth to a teacup. CLEARLY, chip was not born a teacup. chip longs to be a real boy again. i don’t recall if he says anything specifically in batb 1991, but in batb 2017 he asks his mother if he’ll ever be a boy again! he knows what it is to be a real boy! implying he was cursed, and is trapped, as a child; completely destroying the idea that the curse is legitimately ten years long. much more plausibly, lumiere was singing hyperbolically, because he’s a very dramatic man!
now, i’m not going to make this a competitive thing, but batb 2017 DOES do a lot to fix this problem up. number one, the beginning narration gives no indication to adam’s age, or when the rose petals will finish falling. number two, the prologue actually shows chip sneaking into adam’s ball amidst the chaos, highlighting both that he WAS the same boy that you see at the end, and that he was in the room when the enchantress put her curse on everyone. and number three, lumiere’s line in be our guest changes from “ten years” to “too long” - further confirming my theory that he’s just lamenting the agony of their experience. he may not truly know the length of time it’s been, just that it has been too long for anyone’s comfort.
so now that we’ve gathered that time is already a bit funky, let’s look at this curse. the enchantress is one powerful lady. i personally think she’s some kind of trickster goddess of justice or something, who just goes around the world teaching awful, cruel people in power lessons. regardless of who or what agathe is, she is incredibly powerful. the beginning narration states:
“The prince begged for forgiveness, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart. As punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there.”
she placed a powerful spell on the CASTLE ! as well as adam and the servants! i think that’s so significant. and it’s very clear that she DID curse the castle! it’s trapped in a perpetual winter, despite the fact that it’s june for the rest of the country. not only that, but you can see the way the curse affects the castle. every time a petal falls, the castle rumbles and parts of the structure crumble and break. the place is slowly deteriorating, the curse is eating it alive. given what we know about their perception of time, and that the castle was individually cursed, it doesn’t seem too much of a stretch to think that the castle is not only frozen in terms of weather, but frozen in time as well.
looking at this next part of the narration:
“As days bled into years, the prince and his servants were forgotten by the world, for the enchantress had erased all memory of them from the minds of the people they loved… …As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?”
she’s so powerful she genuinely affected the entire world. or at least, all of europe. like, nobody is asking or wondering about the french prince?? no one is stopping by?? no one is sending letters?? nope! their minds have literally been erased. not a soul in france is wondering what their monarchy is up to. adam has been entirely forgotten. i also think it’s important to note the usage of the word “years” which she says twice. sure, you could argue that it is real years! because it says so! but honestly i think she’s speaking from the perspective of the cursed individuals, particularly adam. in both instances, adam’s experience is stated immediately after she says “years” — first, being forgotten, second, falling into despair. i would argue, then, that to adam (and the servants) it had simply FELT like years. not real years that the rest of the world would experience, but a terrible weight on their shoulders, a hopeless longing for rescue from this awful state, dragging on seemingly endlessly, too long, feeling like years.
my conclusion: i believe that the castle time and real time are not the same. based on everything i’ve laid out, it seems as though the castle is very especially cursed, and while it has felt like years (i honestly don’t think it’s felt like more than three or four. i feel like if you go any further you have to start accounting for mental age, particularly chip. but i may be getting too deep about it.) in reality, it may have only been a matter of months. what if that awful storm that led the enchantress to come “seek shelter” happened in january or february, and now it’s june. perhaps it’s been around six months in real time. but to the castle’s inhabitants? it’s felt like years. so then, if we can use this theory for a moment, perhaps belle’s “five days” at the castle felt a lot more like a handful of weeks, maybe even a month or two.
i also think this because the sort of rapport that adam and belle have just seems like they’ve known each other longer than five days. and don’t get me wrong, sometimes people have those instant connections. like i said, im happy to play the Disney Soulmates card. but humor me for a minute! they have their little inside jokes about romance novels and belle teases him in such a way that just exudes the comfortability between friends, not new acquaintances. not only this, but when they’re in paris, adam simply asks “what happened to your mother?” when belle explains where they are. this, to me, implies that he already knew her mother died when she was a baby. and, personally, i don’t think that’s something i’d mention to someone i’d only known less than a week. but it seems like she’s already had That conversation with him, and further, it seems he’s comfortable about the topic, and feels close enough with her to ask about it further! to me, the way their relationship is depicted, it seems as though they’ve really developed a friendship over more than a bit of time, and have definitely very naturally fallen in love within said friendship.
anything is possible, and this is all my own little speculations and ideas. whether it really was five days or perhaps more, it’s quite clear that their love is something quite spectacular.
#i’ve genuinely thought this for years but never quite written it all down#that was invigorating#i haven’t written an academic essay in a year and a half but that brought me right back HAHA#look at me even quoting the source material#anyway this isn’t meant to throw stones or anything. purely just a theory i’ve thought about!!#it’s moments like these though when i’m like oh yeah. autistic special interest. i see it#lmao. well! thank you for the ask alex. means the world 🥹🫶#alex tag#answered#batb 2017#beauty and the beast (2017)#beauty and the beast 2017#beauty and the beast#batb meta
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Chivetiger joined the clan long ago under the lead of Pinestar, but his life as a loner isn’t even a distant memory now. Though he spends much of his time alone, thinking up dialogues and stories in his head that fill his chest with pounding excitement, he is often the cat others in the clan turn to with their problems, as he always seems to have a hypothetical on how to handle everything. He’s happy to spit out his opinion on the matter, and then be left alone, no other conversation necessary. He can often be found in a shady corner, off to himself, sorting his collection of shiny rocks and mumbling softly to himself in little voices.
#If it wasn’t obvious#this man is AUTISTIC#All my characters are a little autistic because I’m autistic. So they all get autism infused#But I looked at this guys in game traits and said oh so this guy has autism then. This is INTENTIONAL autism writing#He collects rocks. Geology is his special interest. The ‘whispering to himself’ is him writing ‘dialogue’ for stories aloud#And talking in character. Ie. what I do every night to fall asleep. The scenarios(tm)#He’s so good at coming up with stories and scenarios and thinking about how things are solved. That when people ask him#He’s like oh yeah i figured that out for this story i came up with one time. Here’s your answer#And they’re like woah you’re so smart… advice prodigy…#And he IS. But not by intuition. By many years of accrued knowledge#His gender description is also directly inspired by my relationship with gender#I am me. I like some girl stuff and some boy stuff. None of the words bother me#But in my community where I actually live. I’m just what I was born as. Because its easier and I don’t feel strongly one way or another#Because I’m me! And that’s. What Chivetiger is too#‘Probably agender but I have a job so let’s not worry about that’. Or something. Let’s call it that#Tom until otherwise stated#righteous pines#clangen#clangen oc#warrior cats#warrior cats oc
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