#oh well it means I can include easter eggs that only my family will get

[marlynnofmany]

Do you have illustrations for your mottley crew of couriers? I think it’d be fun to meet Zhee, Paint, the other crewmembers who’s names I can’t remember, and the various Captains over the course of Robin’s trips.

I have sketchy drawings of some of them! I never did decide whether Heatseekers have those little head-fins or not, but it seemed right:

And I've drawn a few characters from the book, who are the same species as some of the courier ship crew:

Plus there are close to 20 comics that I drew well before writing the current short stories, which I'll say take place after those stories. (This has turned out to be a complicated timeline for a character I originally thought would just live in a couple pieces of flash fiction.)

(But it's worth it.)

Here, have a Strongarm in an Earth Holiday Sweater:

[rallamajoop]

How (not) to say ‘fuck’ in Etruscan (and other things I cannot believe I spent so much time tracking down for a throwaway joke in a Witcher slash-fic)

Buried in chapter 4 of my fic Something Nice is a joke which, as much as it amused me, no-one else is going to get unless I explain it. So here we go.

For the last few people in this fandom who haven't heard yet: The Witcher 3's vampire-language is Etruscan. To my knowledge, there's never been an official statement from CDPR to confirm this, but the evidence (ie. that basically all the vampire vocab can be found in online Etruscan sources) seems pretty solid. To explain why this made me go oooooh that's so NEAT, we need a little context.

Context!

The Etruscans (in my admittedly far-from-expert understanding) were a people who lived in Italy back before the Romans got around to conquering-slash-assimilating the rest of the peninsula, and the language they spoke is one of the most frustratingly mysterious of the ancient world. Most dead languages are at least related to something modern linguists have a decent handle on, but Etruscan seems to have been related to almost nothing else spoken – it may even have pre-Indo-European roots (a whoooole other tangent I am in no way qualified to cover).

Surprisingly, we do owe our modern Latin alphabet in part to the Etruscans, since the earliest Roman alphabets were adapted from the Etruscan (who got it from the Greeks, who got it from from the Phoneticians, and so on). The Etruscans may even be the reason we're stuck with so many weirdly redundant K-sounds (not only K and C, but X and Q, which are really just 'ks' and 'kw' with an overblown sense of superiority).

But being able to sound out every surplus K-word from an Etruscan inscription isn't much help nowadays when there are no surviving Etruscan dictionaries to tell us what it actually means – not even a decent Etruscan Rosetta stone to give us a push-start. So while modern linguists may rattle off Ancient Greek fluently or puzzle out Egyptian hieroglyphs from thousands of years before the Etruscans even had an alphabet, the Etruscan vocabulary available to us nowadays remains embarrassingly limited. Bits have been figured out from context or thanks to loanword exchanges with their neighbours (plenty of ancient Greeks and Romans certainly spoke Etruscan, even if they failed to write it down), but a lot is still as mysterious to the experts as it would be to you and me.

So why to I love the idea of using Etruscan as the Witcher’s vampire-language so much? Basically, if you want a language that will sound both old and reliably alien to anyone listening to it – be they the mainstream English-speaking market or the original Polish-language audience – Etruscan is a damn good call. You're not going to have much vocabulary to draw from, but it's not like there's a lot of vampire-chatter in the game anyway. It's a cool little easter egg for fans nerdy enough to try and figure out what they're saying.

Translations and Sources

You aren’t going to find a lot of great Etruscan language sources on the web – few of the easily-discovered online sources on Etruscan vocab appear to have been updated within the last ten years, and lord knows how consistent some of these are with current scholarship (let alone how sure linguists can be about anything with a task like this). All the same, have some links you may find useful:

Etruscology – Brief, but more readable than most

Lexicons.ru Etruscan Glossary – Probably one of the best collections of many terms in one place

Maravot.com Etruscan Language pages – Hard to navigate, but gosh there are a lot of vocab here I have not seen elsewhere

Old, Tripod-hosted Etruscan Glossary – I think these are mostly just the same terms from the Lexicons page, but in harder-to-use format

Etruscan word search – Decent, but not the most extensive vocab

Introduction to the Etruscan Language – Looks to be from Maravot.com, but in pdf format

Paleoglot.com’s Etruscan tag – Blog by an actual linguist who regularly discusses Etruscan material, and who even created their own translation applet! – which was, unfortunately, in flash, and is thus no longer usable. (There is a certain irony that even the tools available online to help you understand Etruscan are written in a language that is now no longer supported or understood by any modern browser.)

Not that translating what’s in the game is going to be easy, oh no. Take, for example, the oh-god-please-don't-kill-me ceremonial greeting Geralt has to offer to the Unseen Elder to survive that meeting – "Eclthi, lautni ama".

'Eclthi' is apparently a "demonstrative (locative)" (’here’, ‘there’, etc). "Lautni" is trickier – it means a freed slave, but may also imply a familial relationship or a client of sorts, while the root “lautn” apparently designates simply “possession.” House slaves in the ancient world were often considered part of the family, and freed slaves were an important class in many ancient cultures, who often maintained relationships with their former masters, so you can see the internal logic, but what sense was the Witcher using it in? It’s hard to know.

"Ama" is possibly worse – most translations seem to have taken it as "to be", but sometimes also “to love”, or even "now" or  "meanwhile." Then you hit the question of Etruscan grammar, and I have no idea where I’d even start. So, with a little creativity, you could probably translate that phrase as anything from "take this and consider me a friend" to "meanwhile, this is family" to "a demonstration of love from your slave." I mean, you've got the same general theme going there regardless, but there's a lot of ambiguity in the inflection.

For what it's worth, I feel garasham's translation efforts are easily the most convincing I've seen – they have the above line as “Here I am a slave / a friend / kindred” FWIW. (Mind you, given the wiki doesn't even try to do more than offer you one possible meaning for each word, there's not exactly much competition out there).

So, bringing this all back to that fic and how to say ‘fuck’ in Etruscan...

I've already gone to the web's Etruscan dictionaries once while I was writing Forget-Me-Not, seeking inspiration for a 'real' name for "the Queen of the Night" from the first Witcher game. Neither 'queen' or 'night' got me far, but the Etruscans did apparently have a goddess of the moon called 'Aritimi, Artume or Artames', which worked pretty well. If anything it's almost too close to the better-known Greek goddess Artimis, who was obviously a relative (ancient cultures bleed into each other even when they're not bleeding all over each other, nothing new there), but I'm not going to be picky.

However, being a) a giant nerd, who b) writes a lot of smut, and c) is no more mature deep down inside than the rest of us, I couldn't resist seeing if I could find some slightly more obscene vocabulary. Did the Etruscans have a word for, say, 'fuck'?

Alas, if they did (and I mean, they totally did, c'mon), the web wouldn't tell me about it. Nor could I find much else relating to sex or genitalia (male or female), or even a decent word for 'thrust'.

On the flipside, there were a couple of different terms meaning 'plough'. And anyone who's played – well, any of the games, but especially Witcher 2 – would probably realise exactly why that filled me with so much glee.

Speaking of which, here, have a picture which is in no way related:

The fact that the various Etruscan terms meaning ‘plough’ could also apparently be translated as things like “to worship“ or “to act through movement, including ritual acts,” or that an important mythological figure was “a prophetic child who sprang from a freshly plowed furrow” was in no way discouraging.

The word I ultimately picked was 'esari'. Admittedly, variations on the prefix ‘ar-’/‘ara-’/’aras’ were much more consistently attested to throughout the various online Etruscan dictionaries as ‘terms meaning plow’, but figuring out how to convert an Etruscan prefix into a satisfying word is officially where even my enthusiasm for all this nonsense gives out. Esari was, by comparison, already a much more solid-sounding term, so let’s go with that.

Why go to all this trouble anyway? Well, the honest answer is “entirely for my own amusement”, but the nominal excuse comes right back to “so I could give Regis and Geralt this little exchange during a sex scene.”

"Unless you have any particular objection," said Regis, moving to straddle Geralt's body, "I thought we might engage in some esari... hm, what was the equivalent term in your language again?" The vampire leaned in close to Geralt's ear as he made a show of remembering his answer, "Ah, yes—I thought I'd fuck you."

Never let anyone tell you you never learnt anything from porn!

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

Filmverse!Knuckles is gonna be Tikal’s Little Brother and if he’s not I’m suing Sega

[ID: Two images; one of clipart of Knuckles the Echidna beside a poster for Sonic the Hedgehog (2020), and another from Sonic X of Knuckles and Tikal together while Tikal is injured. End ID.] 

Thankfully, this might be shorter than my last couple theory posts but unfortunately I am possibly more passionate about it because this could conceivably happen and if it doesn’t I don’t know what I’m gonna do. 

So in this theory, I will endeavor to prove these points:

Knuckles will very soon be present in the filmverse. 

In the Filmverse, Pachacamac (and by extention, Tikal) are no longer four-thousand years gone, but exist at the same time as Sonic.

Knuckles is going to be in this clan not just as any member, but as Tikal’s brother. 

We’re going off the rails and I’m going to tie this all in to the Chaos Emerald Filmverse theory. 

Who’s ready to go? Everything under the cut. 

1. Knuckles is Coming #2k22

[ID: Another edited photo, placing clipart of Knuckles beside a promotional photo for Sonic the Hedgehog (2020). End ID.] 

This will probably be a short section but... there’s no way Knuckles won’t be in the filmverse very soon. Likely, in the second fucking movie. 

Let’s start with the basics: Knuckles was originally going to be in the first movie, but was cut in order to better establish the Sonic vs Robotnik rivalry. Director Jeff Fowler made the following statement: 

“For this first film, we really were just looking at the 1991 game and just see where it all started and keep it simple…Just really try to nail Sonic and Robotnik and just set up their rivalry because you don’t…I mean, I love…There’s a lot of great characters in Sonic universe, but it’s the most important thing is just to get Sonic set up and just tell a little bit of an origin story with him, and just do it in a way that really makes everyone fall in love with him as a character and just be rooting for more.

And then, if all that goes well, then we can kind of open it up and bring in some of these other characters that fans know and love. And yeah, I mean, no one’s more excited than me to have that opportunity.”

[x]

As well as this, co-writer for the film, Josh Miller, has stated he really wants to bring in Knux. 

“I will only hint that we wanna bring in some of the other characters from the games. But, really, it’s all about Knuckles’ love.” [x]

Second, voice actors have, reportedly, already been considered for Knuckles’s voice, including Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. [x, x]

And third, Mushroom Hill. 

[ID: Two photos; one of the Mushroom Planet from Sonic the Hedgehog (2020). The second is a screenshot from Sonic & Knuckles, where Knuckles is running through Mushroom Hill. Both photos feature gigantic mushrooms resembling trees and an orange tint. End iD.]

The “Mushroom Planet” is a direct reference to the first level of Sonic & Knuckles. The first level of.... the game with Knuckles’s name in it. 

So, you wanna hear something funny? What’s the first thing Knuckles does in the game timeline? 

[ID: Screenshot from Sonic & Knuckles. Sonic is standing on the left side of the screen, beneath a mural of something holding an emerald towards something that looks like SuperSonic. On the right side of the screen is Knuckles, ready to fight Sonic. End ID.]

Well... Robotnik shows up, convinces him that Sonic and Tails are gonna try to steal his emerald, and sends him off to fight them. 

And where’s Robotnik at the end of the 2020 film?

[ID: Robotnik on the Mushroom Planet in Sonic the Hedgehog (2020). End ID.]

While the Mushroom Planet may not be where Angel Island is in filmverse, the direct reference would definitely generate fan attention. And it implies that Robotnik, wherever he is or is going, is headed towards Knuckles. And with the game inciting incident of Robotnik having Knuckles fight Sonic for him... well, wouldn’t that be a wild introduction? Especially for casual fans who don’t have Sonic Lore memorized and may not know that Knuckles was originally an antagonist/rival to Sonic. 

Oh, and there’s one more piece of evidence that Knuckles is gonna show up... the fact that his tribe already has. 

And among them, by the way, are Pachacamac and Tikal. 

2. Pachacamac and Tikal are no longer 4000 years old

So. Let’s talk about the opening scene of Sonic the Hedgehog (2020). As many of you have probably noticed, Sonic and Longclaw are attacked not just by any masked intruders, but by... the Knuckles Clan of Echidnas. 

And we’re sure they’re not any other clan, because they have the trademark Knuckled Gloves. 

[ID: Multiple gifs of the echidnas attempt to attack Longclaw and Baby Sonic. They are dressed in vaguely tribal wear, and have gloves featuring pointed knuckles, signifying them as the Knuckles Clan. End ID.] 

Now, that’s not evidence of Pachacamac/Tikal itself; we know the Knuckles Clan lasted at least long enough to spawn our Knuckles. What is evidence, however, is in the specific Echidna who shot Longclaw. 

[ID: Gif of the Echidna who shot Longclaw, isolated in the frame. End ID.] 

Look familiar?

[ID: The echdina who shot Longclaw in the 2020 film next to a render of Pachacamac. The mystery echidna’s helmet has the same forehead markings as Pachacamac, along with a design that looks like his mustache. End ID.]

And fun fact: this isn’t me reaching for once. This was confirmed by Tyson Hesse, film character designer and savior of Sonic, on his twitter. 

[ID: Tweet from Tyson Hesse, showing the pictures of the Echidna and Pachacamac. He says, “Late to the #sonicwatchparty but this is an easter egg I haven’t seen many people catch.” End iD.]

Pachacamac is canonically in Sonic 2020. As director Jeff Fowler has said he believes Sonic as ~13 during the events of the film, we could say he’s about three years old in that intro. And we know this because it is specified specifically that the main timeline takes place ten years after the prologue. 

[ID: Screenshot from Sonic the Hedgehog (2020), the first shot following the logo. It is a landscape shot of a street in the middle of a green field, and the caption reads, Green Hills Montana: Ten Years Later. End ID.]

Meaning... Pachacamac was alive ten years before the film takes place. Quite the departure from the four-thousand year time jump in the gameverse. Seeing as Pachacamac is alive so close to this timeline, we can reasonably assume that Tikal is, too- she’s his teenaged daughter, canonically ~14 when she is turned into a spirit, which would put her as solidly alive during this timeline. 

...wanna know who else would be alive in this timeline? 

Knuckles, who is only a year older than Sonic. 

And, um, obviously a member of the Knuckles Clan. 

3. Where is Knuckles in this Filmverse Canon?

Okay “Knuckles” is going to stop sounding like a word so can we just call the Knuckles Clan the KC rn? okay? Okay. 

Knuckles is canonically a year older than Sonic- listed as 16 while Sonic is 15. So if Sonic’s alive, Knuckles is alive. Basic logic there. 

In the gameverse, Knuckles’s backstory is as thus, paraphrased from Sonic Wiki:

Knuckles was born and raised alone on Angel Island as the last surviving member of the Knuckles Clan, a long-lost race of echidnas devoted to protecting the Master Emerald from being abused. However, Knuckles’s own past was a mystery to him; he knew nothing how he came to be and believed himself to be the last of his kind entirely. The one thing he did know was that he had always been living on his island, protecting the Master Emerald. Knuckles knew from an innate knowledge that his duty was his fate, and he was content with that.

While we can’t expect his backstory to stay exactly the same, seeing as Sonic now has a dead owl mom and knows how to Fortnite dance, but Knuckles’s backstory does fuel a lot of his character and decisions in the games. Here are what I believe to be the two main points of this backstory:

Knuckles is, or at least believes himself to be, the last member of his race 

Knuckles considers it his sacred duty to guard the Master Emerald 

[ID: Screencap from Sonic X of Knuckles the Echidna holding the Master Emerald above his head. End ID.]

Now... if Sonic was three during that backstory, the KC was around at least when Knuckles was about four. Most children don’t develop long-term memories til then, but if 3yo Sonic could remember his backstory in Green Hills near-perfectly, then clearly mobians are a bit different. We can reasonably assume that Knuckles would then remember at least part of his tribe or family, so that’s a definite change. 

Thing is, what would be the reason for this change? Even ignoring Pachacamac, it was definitely intentional for the clan attacking Longclaw and Sonic to be the KC, which does change quite a bit of Knuckles’s backstory. Which isn’t a problem, you see- it’s a drastic change, but character changes aren’t bad if there’s a reason behind them. 

So what would be the reason for Knuckles having memories of his tribe? 

Well... how easy would it be, then, to get that Sonic Adventure flashback via Knuckles instead of a glowing ball of Tikal/Navi? 

[ID: Screencap from Sonic Adventure, showing Knuckles the Echidna staring down Chaos and the glowing ball of light that symbolizes Tikal. They are standing in front of the emerald shards. End ID.]

Would be an easy way to get any chaos emerald/Master Emerald exposition out of the way, as well as establish some basic and early Sonic Lore- Chaos, echidnas, chao. And if Knuckles, um, remembers his entire race being massacred by an elder god?? That would definitely affect him in a way that he’d consider protecting the Master Emerald, the controller of the power Chaos used to do such a thing, a duty for himself. 

And... what would be the best way to get that backstory out? 

4. Knuckles is Tikal’s Baby Brother

Here’s the thing- the KC citizens don’t seem to know much about what’s going on outside of Pachacamac’s orders. From talking to them in Sonic Adventure flashbacks, we can see they’re quite a bit... confused, I think is the best way to put it. 

[ID: Dialogue screenshots from Sonic Adventure that I had to nab from a Game Grumps video because nobody else had these online. The echidnas say, “The daughter? I saw her in front of the shrine.”, “Well... I.... I just can’t sit still!” and “I think, therefore I am.” End ID.]

So if Knuckles was just an ordinary tribe member, it’d be unlikely for him to know enough to provide the necessary flashback details. And if Knuckles’s past was changed in order to provide an easier connection to the SA lore, he’d need to be very near to the action. Of course, he could just be a curious child, but even then, he’d likely be left out of several conversations surrounding Tikal. 

Most of Tikal’s flashbacks are spent alone- she only has a few arguing with her father, but most of her scenes are spent with the Chao and Chaos themself in the Chao Garden. Considering Tikal seems to be the only echidna frequenting the Chao Garden- the chao are afraid of her when she first approaches, Pachacamac arriving is basically seen as a declaration of war- there’d be no reason for an echidna to be there unless she brought them herself. 

Who would she bring with her? Perhaps... her little brother. 

[ID: Screencap from Sonic X of Tikal, surrounded by flying Chao while at the Master Emerald Shrine. End ID.]

First off, let’s get over the age thing-- I know you’re gonna say “Knuckles is 16 when Tikal is 14,” HOWEVER, TIkal did not age while inside the Master Emerald. She could go in at any point in Knuckles’s life, which means she could be anywhere from ten years older than him to a twin sister to two years younger. 

There’s no real concrete evidence of how old Knuckles would be in filmverse when the SA events happen, seeing as we have only seen Pachacamac existing and have no idea where this is in his timeline. However, from a writing standpoint, if you want to keep a bit of Knuckles’s backstory of living alone for a good chunk of his life, I’d say the massacre happening when he was ~8 seems likely. Old enough to have clear memories of the SA events but young enough to have his life completely sidetracked and feel like he raised himself. 

It’d be very easy for the flashbacks to feature Tikal taking a baby Knuckles to the Chao Garden, just telling him “don’t tell Dad, he won’t understand,” to talk to him about the grandmother he doesn’t remember who used to teach peace, to explain Chaos and the Master Emerald to him. 

And it’d be very easy angst for Knuckles being dragged along with the rest of the clan to take the emerald(s), watch his father basically doom his sister and his tribe murder innocent chao, and then see everyone he’s ever known murdered by Chaos, with his older sister stopping the rampage only by sealing herself and the destructive god in that emerald, leaving Knuckles completely alone. That’s all severe angst that pretty much no writer would pass up. 

Especially because it means Knuckles guarding the Master Emerald has now turned into Knuckles guarding his sister. 

[ID: Sonic X screenshot of Knuckles and Tikal looking up, surrounded by fire. End ID.]

So that’s the general theory. But let’s talk about something more fun: how it all ties into the Chaos Emerald Filmverse Theory. 

5. It all ties into our Chaos Emerald theory shh 

If you haven’t read Cori’s manifesto on the Chaos Emerald Filmverse Theory, allow me to summarize: 

Sonic is definitely a living Chaos Emerald, meaning that there are six other living Chaos Emeralds running around that we’re gonna need to track down. At least one of them’s Tails. 

First thing’s first... Robotnik going after Knuckles then makes perfect sense. If Robotnik somehow figured out exactly what Sonic was, he’d want a way to dilute his power. And the Master Emerald literally nullifies the power of the chaos emeralds. So whoever has the Master Emerald can severely nerf Sonic. Imagine Sonic getting within the boundaries of the ME and then immediately losing speed and falling flat on his face. Big oof. 

Second, it’s possible that Knuckles will also know what Sonic is. Because, well... what was Pachacamac after in Sonic Adventure?

[ID: Pachacamac attempting to talk down Tikal, who is t-posing in front of the Chao Garden in attempt to keep them out. Behind him is an echidna army, ready to attack. Pachacamac is saying, “We need those seven emeralds to give us total power!” End ID.]

The Chaos Emeralds. In order to use their power as weapons. 

And what was he after in Sonic 2020? 

Sonic. 

Interesting, huh.

Conclusion

Knuckles is gonna be the last member of the Knuckles Clan, guarding his older sister’s spirit inside an insanely powerful emerald, and will definitely be manipulated by Robotnik into using his Master Emerald to fuck up Sonic. 

And it’ll be really awesome. 

[ID: Sonic X screencap of Knuckles giving a thumbs up. End ID.]

[writings-of-a-hufflepuff]

Summer Nights: Part 1

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Charlie Weasley x Overweight/Plus size Female identifying Reader

Series: Summer Nights

Warning: Fred’s death, the series will mention issues such as guilt, grief, etc.

Writer:  @writings-of-a-hufflepuff​ (formerly imaginesofeveryfandom)​ aka @hufflepuffing-all-day-long​

Summary/Request: You’d always had brief glimpses of Charlie Weasley throughout your life, but despite your closeness with the rest of the Weasley family and your friendship with the Weasley Twins, you had never officially met. Until Charlie Weasley decided to take the summer off from his work as a Dragon Keeper at the Romanian Reserve and come back home, to the Burrow, that is. 

Notes: Gif is my own, using my art of Charlie Weasley which you can find on my art blog @artisticwarnug here. If you use please make sure you credit me and my art blog properly, that the ownership is clear as it is my own art and I would hate for it to be unclear that I made it <3 x 

Reader was a Hufflepuff in school but it probably won’t be mentioned that much!

Prologue 

After the war you’d found it harder and harder to spend long periods of time with your family. Not only were you working and living within a magical world that they were not a part of, but they didn’t know of the war or understand the true trauma of the experience for you and most of the wizarding community. You’d lost one of your best friends...Fred wasn’t coming back and your family had no idea that any of it even occurred. You’d seen your own friend alive one minute, and dead the next. Nothing could quite compare to the feeling, like choking on your own breath. Like drowning.

As a result you not only lived with the Weasley’s, Molly protesting whenever you tried to pay her money (you had Bill help you put some into their vault anyway, feeling the need to give them something for their kindness), but spent most of your holidays there as well, rarely returning home for Christmas, Easter, or the summer time. As much as you loved your family you struggled to be around them and they didn’t understand you either. 

In your grief you’d found that helping others made it easier, or at least helped you forget the feelings of guilt and grief that sat so heavy in your stomach. Helping George get back on his feet, helping Lee get his enthusiasm back, helping Mrs Weasley with dinner and around the house, helping everyone just seemed to make it easier to handle. That and working relatively long hours as a healer at St. Mungo’s often took your mind off of the war and what had been lost. You often chose to hide your feelings from the war behind Hufflepuff cheer. But, sometimes you wished someone would notice. You didn’t blame them for not, everyone had their own problems, your remaining best friends most of all. Grief and running a business took much attention. 

You woke up that Saturday morning fully aware that you should get out of bed, but that you didn’t want to. It wasn’t a particularly important Saturday, no plans had been made, no work to be done, no visitors expected. Yet, it would turn out to be a Saturday that completely changed your whole life. 

Since moving into the Burrow, 2 years prior, you had been staying in Fred and George’s old room, seeing as George lived above the Flat. You had spent the first few weeks simply making sure the room was safe, the twins had left many pranks around their room, but also all sorts of potion ingredients. You’d packed everything up and taken it to the Flat...It had been hard, going through all their childhood things with George. Hard for you, but harder for George. Years on and George was doing better, but you knew he still didn’t feel complete, like something was missing. But he slept better, stopped having nightmares, and generally seemed to have some of his old cheer back. It helped that Angelina was there for him as well. He was moving on and growing happier each day. 

The few things that you had been given by the Weasley family included clothes. At first it had been odd, being given some of Bill or Charlie or George’s old clothes to wear to bed or around the house. But, that had gone away quite quickly considering the oversized quidditch jerseys, jumpers, and shirts, were incredibly comfortable. Bill’s fit most snug, being a plump woman, with wide hips and a stomach, and Bill being one of the lankier of the Weasley’s. George and Charlie’s clothes fit much larger on you, however, seeing as they were some of the broader, stockier Weasley’s. It still surprised you that Charlie had been a seeker and not a beater.

The night previous you’d gone to bed in Charlie’s old quidditch jersey and a pair of pajama trousers with little snitches on, that had previously belonged to George. The trousers were much too long on you, covering your feet, and the Jersey while it clung to your hips was loose in every other aspect. It was a pairing that you enjoyed simply for its comfort. It was not something the Weasley’s even blinked at or questioned, after all you’d been gifted the clothes and had been wearing them for the last few years. So you hadn’t really thought twice, as you stumbled out of bed, feet hitting the powder stained floor, about going to breakfast as you were. 

You yawned loudly, covering your mouth with your hand, as you walked into the kitchen, not really taking in which Weasley’s were at the table, being much too tired to do so. 

“Morning” You sighed out as you grabbed a plate and collected your breakfast, Mrs Weasley having already placed dishes of eggs, toast, bacon, tomatoes, mushrooms, and sausages out on the dining table. 

“Good morning, dear!” Mrs Weasley called back, followed by a variety of familiar Weasley voices, and one that you did not recognise, that gave you pause. 

You wouldn’t say you were mortified to look up from your breakfast and realise that Charlie Weasley, the very attractive Charlie Weasley, was sitting in front of you, with an amused half smile and a raised eyebrow. But, you certainly were mildly embarrassed, simply because you were not exactly dressed for introductions and you were almost certain that you had a million knots in your hair. 

“Uh, hello...” You wave awkwardly, a little stinted, with an embarrassed smile. 

“Hello, love. I see mum finally gave away my jersey” You’re certain that Charlie is trying not to laugh, although you don’t feel hurt by this fact. Much like the rest of the Weasley’s Charlie comes across as laughing with you rather than at you. 

“I can...you can have it back, I...”

“It’s alright, looks better on you than it does on me. Might be a tad small for me now actually.” You relax at his easy going manner about it. You were sure it would be a little weird for the second oldest Weasley to finally meet someone while said someone was wearing his clothes. But, apparently not. 

“Y/N, right? I don’t think we’ve properly met?”

It had been two years since you’d last seen Charlie Weasley, that had been at Fred’s funeral and you’d not really taken much notice of him at the time. You had been, naturally, more concerned with and consumed by your own grief and the proceedings before you. 

You’d forgotten how handsome Charlie was. With broad shoulders and deep red hair, pulled back into a ponytail. Charlie was by far the most freckled of the Weasley’s with dense freckles across his face and sharp jaw, down his neck, and over his arms. The last time you’d seen Charlie he’d been dressed in a full suit, covered head to toe, the time before that he’d been a teenager, now you realised that he had a tattoo that you had never previously seen. It was a beautiful tattoo, a welsh green on his neck that twisted its head and puffed smoke from its nostrils. 

“We haven’t, just crossed paths, here and there. Surprising, really.”

“Considering you are not only friends with my brothers...” he pauses just a moment, before correcting himself, “brother, and have been living here, yeah, just a little surprising. Hufflepuff, right?”

“Yeah, managed to make Head Girl in the end, much to...much to Fred and George’s delight.” It was still odd wanting to mention them both, but realising that one of them wasn’t around anymore. But, it was true, Fred and George had teased you for weeks, over the fact that you, best friend to the biggest pranksters at Hogwarts, managed to make Head Girl. “Are you still working at the reserve in Romania?” 

“Yeah, thought I'd be head keeper by now...but...”

“Bad boss?” 

“He’s not bad, but we don’t see eye to eye when it comes to the dragons.” You raise an eyebrow, curious for him to continue. You’d never really been especially good at Care of Magical Creatures but that didn’t mean it wasn’t fascinating to you. “He wants to commercialise the reserve, make it a place people can come visit rather than a place for us to keep the dragons from the Muggles. Daft really, dragons’ll sooner eat a bunch of tourists than sit pretty for them.” 

“The reserves aren’t supposed to be tourist attractions though...why would...surely that’s dangerous and also not exactly fair on the dragons?”

“Oh, it’s definitely dangerous, it takes multiple keepers to restrain a dragon and the dragons aren’t exactly in cages on the reserve like a muggle zoo. Luckily he hasn’t gone through with the idea...yet.” He frowns in a way that tells you he suspects it’ll happen anyway and his tone suggests irritation with the situation. You’re sure for someone who loves dragons so much and wants them to be kept away from muggles and left to their own devices, it must be terribly frustrating. 

There’s a beat of silence as you continue eating. You feel a little awkward, although that certainly isn’t Charlie’s fault. It’s made worse by the sensation of Mrs Weasley’s eyes on the two of you. You were more than aware that Mrs Weasley’s one goal in life since the war had been to marry off each of her children, you included in that. Ginny had since been dating Harry, Ron was with Hermione, George was with Angelina, Bill was already married and Percy...you weren’t sure about Percy.  But, that left Charlie as the oldest single Weasley child, and yourself...still not dating much to Molly’s dismay. She was constantly asking you if you’d met anyone lately. 

“You’re a healer right?”

“At St. Mungo’s, on the Dai Llewellyn Ward for Serious Bites, although I'm often dragged away if someone's had a few too many hexes that have interacted poorly.”

“Ever had any dragon bites?”

“Once, a Peruvian Vipertooth, lady was in a right state for a while. Came out the other end though.” 

“Nasty bites, aggressive little buggers. You’d probably have a field day on the reserve the amount of bites and burns we have each day.” At that Charlie lifted his own arms to show an array of burn scars and old bite marks. Some had healed well, others less so.

You pointed at one, “Looks like you avoided seeing the healer.” You raise an eyebrow and make the face you learnt from Madam Pomphrey, the one that explicitly says you disapprove of avoiding proper medical care. You’d spent a great deal of time with Poppy not just because of the twins but also because she’d helped you prepare for your healer training. 

He lets out a slightly nervous laugh and looks away from you, red rushing up his neck in traditional Weasley fashion at being caught, “Didn’t want to bother anyone, it wasn’t serious. No need to worry, love.” You grab his arm and pull it closer to get a closer look. Trying to ignore the fact he had very strong forearms and incredibly warm skin.

Working on the Serious Bites Ward meant that you had a good eye for bite marks and what might have made them. Some dragons had very distinct bite marks. A Peruvian Viper Tooth had a different set of teeth to a Hungarian Horntail for instance. 

“Ukranian Ironbelly, right? Young one, by the looks of it.” 

“Just a baby really, got a bit over excited is all. Hurt like a bludger to the head though.”

“You should always see the reserve healer, you know? You could get a serious infection from a bite like this.” You let go of his arm and lean back in your chair, arms crossed, fixing him with the same look again. 

“I would if our healer was as nice as you. He’s got the personality of a fire crab who’s had its tail yanked.” You try not to take the compliment as more than it is. 

“Grumpy and explosive?” You knew a few healers like that. They didn’t exactly have the best bedside manner and it made many a witch or wizard reluctant to seek treatment. 

“Exactly. Augustus Pye still working on the ward? He tried to give dad stitches that time...” 

“Yes...” You sigh, it wasn’t that Augustus was a horrible person to work with so to speak, but you’d had a few awkward encounters with him when you’d first started working on the ward. 

“You don’t sound happy about that?”

“There’s nothing wrong with the man...he just...it's a very small ward you see and he may have...there were a few times where...”

“He asked her out on a date and she said no and embarrassed the poor bastard.” George’s voice comes from behind you with a laugh, before he takes the seat besides you. You’d been flattered, really you had, but, Augustus wasn’t someone you were particularly attracted to. Not physically, nor intellectually nor in regard to his personality. He was nice...but that was just it. You hadn’t expected to go into work and be asked on a date, either, it had been all a bit of a shock really...you hadn’t gotten a great deal of romantic attention in school. Being a big girl meant that boys were more inclined to tease you than date you. Not that you were upset about that, teenage boys were the worst. 

“Thank you, George. I obviously couldn’t disclose that myself.” You roll your eyes

“I still don’t know how you did it, you’re far too nice to say no to anyone.”

“I...” You look at all the curious eyes watching you, feeling a wave of genuine embarrassment as you realise you’re going to have to tell them the truth...that you’d really struggled to say no and had instead, “told him I was already seeing someone, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings!” You protest as George lets out a loud laugh next to you.

“It’s not funny, George! I was very flattered but...I didn’t want to tell him he was just...meh! How do you let someone down nicely? At least this way he thinks it's because i’m already taken not because I find him lacklustre!” 

“Just say it. You don’t find him attractive, you don’t want him to ravage you in the store room, it’s not that hard. You do know you’re an adult and not thirteen, right?” 

You let out an unhappy moan as you let your face fall into your hands at George’s teasing. 

“George Weasley!” You hear Molly scold him about talking about private matters such as ‘ravaging’ and teasing you so much, before turning her attention to you. “It’s okay not to like someone, dear, you don’t have to lie to save someone else’s feelings. Although, it would have been lovely for you to go on a date...it’s been a while, dear.” 

“Mum.” Charlie gave his mother a look which you knew too well, many of the Weasley children had given their mother that exact same look whenever she tried to encourage them to find a date. It was a relief to have someone else tell her to leave well enough alone. You loved Mrs Weasley dearly, but you’d rather date someone you wanted to rather than date someone simply to please her. 

“Oh, alright. Charlie, I need you and Ron to degnome the garden, you too George since you’re here. Y/N, dear, could you water the vegetables in the garden today?”

“Of course, Molly.” You’d long since learnt not to call her Mrs Weasley to her face. Molly hated any of her ‘adopted children’ calling her Mrs Weasley, Harry and Hermione still hadn’t quite gotten out of the habit yet though. Much to Molly’s dismay. 

After much more teasing from George and a shy goodbye to Charlie, you rushed up the stairs to get ready for the day. A day that might very well end with Charlie Weasley being the death of you, death by embarrassment that is.

[josiecarioca]

Waiting (one-shot)

Requested by @artisticreptilequeen and @latitsoso

Summary: Soren Snape has chosen a lonely path for himself that not even his closest friend can help him walk. 

(Soren Snape x Audrey Blake, characters mentioned: Severus Snape,Evelyn Black and Eloise Snape)

Also available on Ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010311

Tagging:  @snapescapades  @mafagafobebum  @marvelschriss @codename-thedoctor @zealouspickleeggdragon @green-oasis @drawnfromthedead @snapescapadesafterdark @serosvit @snapecentric @hayalee8 @oliverlandomens @sleepysnapesnake @lily-themadqueen-andpinky @paracosim @the-witches-son @aikersen @violet-knox @viper-official @be-zoar @thepomegranatejuice @alwyssnpe @siriuslysircadogan @hbprincealice

     …

“Soren, are you alive?”

Soren opened his eyes and looked around, searching for that familiar voice. He didn't know the place around him. It looked nice enough, though. A small livingroom, with teal colored walls covered in classic movie posters and a moon themed tapestry hanging next to a tall bookcase, loads of colorful cushions and, in front of him, a square coffe table with food and cooking themed hardcovers and a notebook filled with a round and small handwritting he knew all too well. He found himself laying on a soft white couch, “Golden Girls” was playning on the TV in front of him.

He sat up, feeling as if the room was moving around him like a ship in open sea. His clothes were sticking to him, tight and uncomfortable and his mouth was so dry he felt a bitter taste in his tongue. He didn´t remember drinking any water since right after curtain call.

Soren heard the sound of something frying, before the smell hit him. His stomach growled. He couldn't remember when he had last eaten anything that day.

“You´re getting glitter all over my couch.” that voice...Soren shook his head, suddenly angry at himself. How had he ended up here of all places? Idiot!

“Audrey, I...” he called out but his head felt like it just about split in two when he raised his voice. “I mean...how did I...”

“Here...” the voice approached. He looked up and there she was. Audrey, in a dusty pink turtleneck wool dress that hugged her plump figure, black leggings and boots, her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail, with thick bangs framing her roud, dollish face. She looked like she was either going to a date or  coming back home from one when he, at least he assumed, crashed-landed at her door.

She held a plate in front of his face and it smelled something like heaven is supposed to smell.

“This is what you eat when you're flat on your arse drunk, if I recall correctly. Rashers, eggs benedict and your mother's cheddar, chive and potato pancakes. Right?”

“You...know how to make mam´s pancakes? ” he smiled, hoping foolishly that small talk would delay the earfull he was about to get. “She never gave anybody this recipe. Not even my cousins.”

“I lived with your parents for a whole year remember? I've seen auntie Lyn make this more times than I can count.”

Even though he felt like somebody had taken an axe to his skull and split it clean in two, Soren had to smile.

“Thank you. You didn't have to.”

“I sort of did have to, though” she let out, sounding tired “I found you laying on my doorstep, looking healf dead. Trust me, I was tempted to just walk around you and leave you there, but then what would I say next time I visit your parents? Besides, my landlord and neighbours wouldn't be too happy. Here, you´re going to need this. You must be dehydrated.”

She put a gallon of water on the table in fronto of him. Soren shugged nearly half of it before he could even begin to think about eating.

“Now, pray tell...what has gotten into you?” she crossed her arms and stood before him, looking far taller than her 5 feet, maybe 5'3 including the boots. Soren looked at her, pleased to notice she had put on weight. She looked like her normal self again, he thought. Last time he'd seen her she looked gaunt, almost.

“What do you mean?”

“What do I mean? Is it a normal occurence for you to prance about town drunk off you mind and pass out in front of people´s doors dressed like Beetlejuice and Dr. Frank'n'Furter's lovechild?”

“Oh, this!” Soren looked down at himself, finally remembering...

The effin' costume. Yeah, she was right. Her neighbours wouldn't be none too pleased to see a 6´2  man in full make-up wearing a leather corset-garter combo with stockings and high heels under a stripped trenchcoat passed out drunk in the hallway.

“I was...working.”

“Working? Is this an honest-to-God opera costume, or the Ministry for Magic had you go undercover in a fetish brothel?”

“Costume. The Ministry doesn´t usually have me dress up nice and sexy  when they want to get me fucked. Hardly pay me as well as they should for it either.”

“What opera are you in this time around?”

“Orphée aux enfers...Our director decided to give the  Kosky version a run for its money, so of course genderfuck drag was the way to go. Because why the fuck not? ”

“We're just going to pretend like you didn't love the idea...” she smirked. That was good...he hoped.

“Well, yeah, we decided to have a few drinks after the performance, and Henri thought it would be hilarious to just go out partying in full costume.”

“Who?”

“Henri Fournier...he played Orpheus”

“Of course...” Audrey, sighed, no longer amused.

“He's a riot, you should meet him.” Stop digging, Soren. She´s already mad at you, no need to act like a bufoon.

“And you should shower and change.”

“I´m afraid I don't have anything to change into...Unless, what's his name, your...”

“Ethan, his name is Ethan.”

“Yeah, him, unless he doesn´t mind me borrowing his things...”

“I´ll see if he left something here...”

“Left...I thought you two were...”

“He moved out.”

“When was that? Last we talked you we...”

“Come on, finish eating go have a shower, I'll find something for you to wear.”

“Hey, Shortcake, I...” He let out without even thinking. It had been so long since he last called her that, years maybe, but somehow it just poured from his lips.

“Don't...call me that.”

“I'm sorry...I really am. About this whole thing as well, I really don't know how I ended up at your door, I would never...”

“You don't have to apologize. Just eat, take your shower and...” she sighed “...we´ll see.”

…

Soren was tripping over himself so badly Audrey had half a mind to offer help. But eventually he got himself to the bathroom. She glued her ear to the door, half expecting to hear him collapse inside. The sound of the water running reassured her enough to step away and try to find something for him to wear, hoping Ethan had forgotten at least a pair of shorts or something.

Typical Soren to put her in this situation without even thinking. He never did think, did he?  Just did whatever he wanted to do and everything else be damned. Nevermind that his parents were constantly worried sick about him, that his sister had to keep calling him to remind him he had a family and he should go see them sometime. Audrey was almost sure neither his father nor his mother knew what he was up to.

That he was spying for the. ministry.

His father would never allow it.

Audrey had been only a spectator, entirely foreign to their world of magic and wars no one of her kind was supposed to know, but she knew well enough, apparently even better than Soren, that it was a disastrous idea for the son of Severus Snape to be a spy. To collect inteligence about the very same criminals who still had a reward out for his father's head. Soren was born with a target on his back. Even as a child, Death Eaters had tried to get to him, the same with his sister, Eloise. And why wouldn't they? What better revenge on the man who brought down their leader than to harm his children? Audrey knew from hearing whispers and bits and pieces of conversations when she had lived with his parents in Glencoe, right after deciding to go no contact with her mother. She knew from what Eloise told her, in a vain, desperate attempt to get her to help knock some sense into her brother.

But Audrey also knew there was nobody on earth who could keep Soren from doing what he wanted. Sometimes she was tempted to tell Severus and Evelyn what he was doing behind their back. If they knew...They thought Soren was travelling around the world singing. A successful baritone, touring Salzburg, Paris, New York, Lord knew where else. Surely that shouldn´t prevent him from coming home now and then, however...But he would go months without showing up, so his parents, maybe, just thought that if he didn´t show up for Christmas or Easter it was because he was somewhere in a nightclub or a bar, partying. And sometimes that was true, but not always. At times, she wondered how and when they would find out, and hoped it wasn´t through some tragedy.

But...sometimes she also wondered if they didn't already know. If they were just waiting for him to finally be honest with them. Maybe neither Severus nor Evelyn could bring themselves to believe Soren would do that to them, so they acted like they didn't suspect, when in reality, they knew. Maybe they were just hoping he'd show himself worthy of their trust. Just waiting for him to come around.

So Audrey said nothing. It wasn't her place to, after all. If Eloise hadn´t, then she certainly had no right.

She finally found something. And old t-shirt and some pajama pants. Good thing Ethan was tall, she thought. This would do for Soren to at least make it back home, or wherever he was staying in London. Come to think of it...She shook her head and left the clothes on the bed where he could find once he was done showering.

“Soren?”  She called once the water stopped running and she could hear him in her bedroom.

“Yeah?” he sounded a bit more sober.

“I'll call your sister, do you have her girlfriend's number? Maybe they can pick you up.”

Soren didn't answer answer immediately. Instead he took his time to get dressed and came back to the livingroom, sat on the couch and took another swig of water from the bottle.

“So, should I call her?”

“I would literally rather you hand me over to a dementor.”

“Maybe if I knew how. Eloise is my next best choice.”

“Eloise will never let me hear the end of it.”

“She wouldn'r be wrong, now would she?”

He didn't answer. He just made that face. That face he put on when he knew he was wrong, when he knew he had no good excuse. The corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards in an odd, clumsy smile, and his nostril flared slightly as he breathed out, then he looked away. Thinking of the next joke, of the charming comment that would deflect questioning, the next change of subject.  Had been that way since he was a boy. Soren always knew when to leave an argument well enough alone. This way he wouldn't have to admit he was wrong.

“As soon as my head doesn´t feel like the the 1812 overture is playing on surround sound inside my skull, I can see myself out.” she shrugged with that devil may care grin that could get him whatever he wanted.

Audrey sighed. She didn´t have the energy to argue, And true to be told, if she hadn't found him passed out drunk at her door after nearly a year of no contact whatsoever, she would be happy he was there. Wasn´t this what they used to do, back when things were different? Staying up at night, huddled up on the couch, watching old TV programmes reruns till the wee hours of the night? She missed that. She missed having Soren around, she missed his stupid jokes, his impromptu performances. She missed him singing “Largo al factotum” early in the morning as he shaved, his voice filling her bathroom till the upstairs neighbours complained.

But she didn´t miss what came with it. She didn´t miss the disappearances, the weeks and months without a single phone call, the excuses, the worry, the panic...

“You already ruined my couch with all that sodding makeup” she sighed, sitting next to him “Might as well spend the night. But you´ll have to be out before noon. I´m working the lunch shift this week.”

“How's that going? Mam told me you made it to sous-chef.”

“Yeah, which sounds impressive until you realize it just means I'm the first in line to be verbally abused when Bastianinni wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“I worked with a Bastianinni once...It was for the best sharp knives are not part of our line of work, or the whole cast would have used him for target practice, down to the children's choir. When a tenor decides to be a diva, oof...”

“So, you´ve been talking to your mother?”

“Yeah, I called her and dad last week from Salzburg...to apologize for not showing up for Christmas again. She told me you were there.”

“I was. I assume that's how you got my address...”

“I...I mean...is not like she” Soren stammered like a little boy caught with his hand in the biscuit tin.

“Did you really think your mother would give you my address if I didn't tell her it was ok?” Audrey smiled “I´m just surprised you asked.”

“Why wouldn't I ask?”

“You tell me...For the past four years I´ve seen more of your parents and your sister than I´ve seen you. And you don't call anybody, just go off for months on end...”

“You know why that is...”

“I do. That´s why I don't wait for you anymore. It's pointless. But then when I give up waiting, you decide to show up.”

“Is not like I planned to just...”

“You never do.”

“Audrey, I...”

“I´ll get you a pillow and some covers, it's getting late.” She couldn't let him speak. If he started he'd take her in again. And before she knew it, she would be waiting again...for a phone call, a message, waiting for that moment she'd finally be fully a part of his world. A moment that would never come, no matter how long she waited. Not for her and not for anybody else. Soren had chosen a rocky path that only fit the steps of one person: himself. She couldn´t walk with him, and it would be fooolish to wait for him to come back any time soon.

“You said you were working lunch shift tomorrow.” the sweetness on his voice reached her as she got up from the couch, disarming. “Can´t you stay a little while longer?”

[sepublic]

Understanding Willow!

           Big surprise- ANOTHER great episode!

           You know what, let me just try to process what happened, by going through the beginning and from there! Firstly, it’s funny that the show confirmed that Amity is only tolerating Boscha and Skara at this point (and I guess some of those other friends), and she’s making it pretty clear to them as well- At BEST, her expressions are neutral around them! Honestly, Boscha and Skara’s parents being friends with Mr. and Mrs. Blight makes sense, it’s messed up but not surprising that they’d use their kid to try to establish connections with OTHER families! I have to wonder what Boscha and Skara’s parents are like… We know Boscha’s mom is, well…

           Also, I was wondering why Dana confirmed Skara’s name, and now we know- It’s because she’s slightly plot relevant in this episode! I love the details of the literal butterflies being converted into birthday invitations, that’s always neat… Apparently Skara is also considered ‘popular’, too? Anyhow, I also noticed that the one girl in the Healing Track with glasses, who was also at Amity’s Moonlight Conjuring, got the haircut we saw Matthieu Cousin draw her with! THAT was a neat little easter egg! We also see a young Bo with Boscha at some point, and this is super-pointless… But would their ship-name be BOscha? Boschabo? Bo squared?

           Gus’ little B-plot was pretty funny, and I’m glad we’re getting more interactions between the cast now! I love the callback to Sense and Insensitivity, with Not-Dana/Tiny Nose being ‘missing’ ever since her deal with Piniet… I can only imagine what happened there! Honestly, there’s not much for the dude to squash into a cube, but you get the idea! Eda and King competing for Gus’ interview was also hilarious, and DANG IT KING, answer the question- WHEN were you born, I know a couple of people, myself included, who are VERY interested in this answer…! I suspected Hooty would be chosen and I was right, but also not surprised, when Gus quickly regretted his decision! But hey, at least Hooty is happy!

           (Also, that Eda dance.)

           Luz is such a dork as always, loudly declaring that she’ll stick her face into something random, and then just going NYOOM when Inner Willow chucks her in- I wouldn’t have her any other way, and I love that we have ANOTHER picture of her when she was younger! Season 1B just keeps giving… Although let’s be real, it’s an extension of Season 1, and THAT gave us this entire show and Luz to begin with!

           Onto the meat of this episode! First off… WILLOW’S DADS ARE GAY! Honestly didn’t see that coming, but I love it and I wish we got to see more of them! I’m also interested to see which dad (assuming it’s not both) has a Magic Staff, and if it has a Palisman, but that’s another discussion for another day! I WANT MORE WILLOW AND HER LOVING PARENTS, dang it! Parents who put her in Abominations but also still mean well and have Christmas morning with her! I want to see Willow’s house and life at home, dang it! I want to MEET her parents properly, see them react to Luz!

           YOUNG WILLOW AND AMITY! YOUNG WILLOW AND AMITY! That’s just adorable… I love their little memories together, and the egg-pit gag was hilarious! It’s also super-minor but I adore that we got a cameo from the librarian during their past memories as well!

           Inner Willow, though… At first I thought the flame-being was just, like, the incarnation of Amity’s spell. But then Eda mentioned the Inner Willow, and was like, OHHH… Oh boy. She was out for BLOOD, too! Angry Willow is pretty terrifying, but rightfully so- I’m glad the show didn’t shy over her anger and her genuine grievances with Amity! That had to have HURT, being on fire, but at the same time you can tell that Willow also genuinely wanted to burn her memories with Amity, too… Oof. How many years of pent-up rage and grief, manifesting, before spilling over at this final straw of being burnt? Amity is thematically associated with Fire, which burns plants, and her last name literally refers to a plant disease! You can tell just how BADLY Willow has been hurting on the inside, possibly even hating herself in the process, and I...!

You know, I doubt there’s any substantial connection between Willow and Belos beyond this, but I think it’s interesting to see that they BOTH have glowing green eyes- It’s interesting that such characters are shown (or at least implied) to be powerful, and now I can’t help but imagine Willow meeting Belos, and Willow going HAM for her friends… I wonder if the glowing eyes are a sign of being emotionally repressed, until it all just comes flowing outwards? Given how Belos values control, this may also apply to himself as well… Anyhow, I adore Willow’s friendship and love of Luz though, she has NOTHING against her and I love how even after almost losing her mind she still jokes with her! Willow’s got that scary side, but she’s also sweet and I love the show acknowledging how gangly Luz can be!

           Amity! Looks like her dad got to have a voice, after all! Not much to her memories (Makes sense, we’re going into Willow’s here), but we clearly had insightful character moments! I have to wonder, did Amity know about how destroying the photos would destroy the mind as well? We don’t know if she’s in Photo Class and if she knows about the Memory Tweezers, so who knows? Either way that was NOT cool…

           Honestly, I like that the show doesn’t shy away or forget what Amity did to Willow! I love Amity with all my heart, but I was definitely anxious to see how these two felt about one another- I had a feeling that Amity may not have totally gotten over her issues and still felt a little harsh towards Willow, which makes sense! She’s a flawed, messed-up character with her own problems. But speaking of problems…

           DANG, her parents really made Amity get rid of her friend, on her own BIRTHDAY?! Jeez, at least wait until tomorrow at least… And not a big fan of them apparently deciding Amity’s guest list for her, it’s like they’re using their kid as a means to heighten their social status! Not that I’m shocked, I’ve already suspected this, but c’mon. I wonder how Emira and Edric felt about the whole thing with Amity breaking ties with Willow- Were they concerned for Mittens? Did they know about the parents threatening Willow, or to them did their little sister just suddenly become so cold and distant? I can only imagine how harsh Mr. and Mrs. Blight could be to them, but the twins seem a lot more independent and self-assured; It helps that they have each other!

           ALSO, Amity is in the Owl House for the first time! She gets to see how weird the shenanigans are, and I love how she makes the choice to enter a wanted criminal’s home to fix what she did wrong! I really have to wonder what went on in her head, when she chose to burn that photo of her and Willow… SUPER MESSED UP, of course, and I love how Eda just unapologetically gives Amity flack for it! But at the same time, I wonder if that moment was Amity’s greatest regret… It’s unlikely, but perhaps there was the tiny hope in Amity’s heart that if Willow forgot (assuming that was the intention), maybe they could be friends again? Again, not likely- What is more likely though is Amity not wanting Luz to think badly of her and ‘lose’ THAT friendship, but I digress!

          ��Poor Willow… I can only imagine how much PAIN she was in, both beforehand and when her Inner self was on fire! It was cute seeing her young and current Inner Selves interact, but at the same time it hurts because Willow is clearly someone who is used to being quiet and not noticed, and she just bottles up her rage and wrath inside until it manifests! I wonder… Could this be related to her glowing eyes? Could this apply to Belos? I dunno.

I appreciate the detail of Willow and Amity not exactly being willing to be friends again, I half-expected it and it makes sense! Amity clearly regrets what she did, it wasn’t her choice to begin with and she partly did it to protect Willow (Seriously, Mr. and Mrs. Blight were going to abuse their power to RUIN Willow’s education, what the heck?!) but she still let Boscha and Skara bully Willow. I’m glad she apologized for it, it shows a lot of growth on her part… It’d have been easy for Amity to blame her parents for what happened (and she wouldn’t even be WRONG, either) but she still owns up to not only her mistake of burning the memories, but just in general of being apathetic to Willow’s plight!

(Unrelated but I appreciate the Azura poster in her bedroom)

Overall- A fascinating episode, as expected! I did have issues with DisneyNOW constantly cutting the episode off with its Error symbol… And recently, every time the Error thing shows up and I click back in, instead of resuming the episode as always, the website is now forcing me to watch a few ads EVERY SINGLE TIME- I had to watch, like, seven times the ads I normally would have! Near the end it got pretty bad too, although I suspect this is because a lot of people are watching the episode! And I know it only became available at 2:08 AM or so (yeah I was EARLY and checked) but let’s be real here- We’re ALL pulling all-nighters for this show!

(I mean, I didn’t, I slept and woke up at the most convenient time without meaning to, but you get the idea.)

I didn’t touch on it as much earlier, but I love Luz’s whacky antics (or should I say shenanigans?) and how Willow and Amity are just… USED to it at this point! Willow totally expects Luz to try to repair her friendship with Amity, her kindness is just so well-known at this point and she’s so unconditionally well-meaning! Luz could’ve easily relegated the task of fixing Willow’s memories to Amity, who caused the problem- But her friend was at stake! And yeah she also wanted to experience Willow’s memories too, but still.

Honestly, with how much Luz is willing to do for both of these girls, it’s no wonder they love Luz so much! And with Enchanting Grom Fright up next… Even if there is no ‘declaration’, I can see their being the beginnings of a certain crush… for Amity, Luz is an anomaly who came out of nowhere but offers her unconditional love and support and has been changing her life for the better!

[thecandywrites]

Blood For Gold Part 7

So, I’m still in pain, yes that nerve is still pinched in my back which means my right hip is still numb/in A LOT of pain. But inspiration doesn’t care if the rest of my life is dumpster fire. 

That’s my inspiration telling me all kinds of stuff while I was waiting for my chiropractors this week, thank god for google docs so I can write down stuff while I get tens treatments. Also, after doing some research into British currency, a crown is less than a pound, I thought it was more. so from here on out, Audra’s dowry is fifty thousand pounds, also we’re going to still be at the ball because there are some developments in the plot and some easter eggs to bury. Have fun hunting. Also all the thanks to @kriskukko​ for letting me run with this, it’s so fun. And thank you @punkhorse96​ for your amazing feedback. It’s my life blood. Enjoy. 

Blood For Gold 

Part 7

At dinner you found yourself sitting next to the Dauphin Ramsey while Demsey sat across from you, Callellea on one side of him and Benyana on the other side of him with his brothers on the other sides of them as his brothers Sierge and Tzane being immediately absolutely smitten, having practically fallen for the jewel orcs already and knew that while both had been sent for their brother, that meant that they had, at least in theory, a chance with the other. But both didn’t want to admit that their preferred girl would be for Demsey, if they could get their preferred girl to go for them, the faster the better. They were falling helplessly and hopelessly for them and even as you sat across from them, you could see this. 

But you could also see how Demsey, while polite and friendly, was rather unaffected by them and dare you hope? Uninterested? Surely if Demsey, by all accounts would want an orc for a wife, no finer prospects could be found in the world and they were presently on either side of him. But he was acting like they were barely aquaintances that he had no interest in getting to know better, it gave your heart a small, glimmering speck of hope that maybe, just maybe, you had a chance. His declaration that he wanted to get to know you better had given your heart to soar like an eagle, you knew there was now an obstacle in your path. The Dauphin, Ramsey. However you did get to meet Lady Whitesale and she was...a piece of work. You could tell she was used to being one of the prettiest women wherever she was, but upon meeting Calla and Bennie and having their beauty eclipse hers and once she learned that they had been invited there by the royal family and to see them both talk at length with Demsey and his brothers, much less the rest of his family, had her glowering from across the room as she soon gathered the other orc ladies within the court to “talk” and you couldn’t help but overhear them as you passed them, they were trying to find dirt on the new comers and bring up every hurtful rumor and slanderous slur about mouras out of pure jealousy and spite and now knowing the truth that Demsey didn’t like her had you feeling relieved that he didn’t because she was just...awful. But that had not stopped her from trying her luck with Calla’s and Bennie’s brothers, if only to try to pump them for information. 

By dinner though, what really got your interest, was the way Calla and Bennie were treating Tzane and Sierge respectively. You knew Calla well enough that she was genuinely taken with Tzane and they were acting like long lost best friends getting reacquainted, eagerly chatting and gesturing while they tried to eat. 

Bennie though, she was working Sierge practically up to a foaming froth and she was taking delight in the fact that Sierge was practically drooling over her while eating out of her hand metaphorically speaking. Bennie had a way of behaving and emoting in such a way that you would never know what she was really playing at, much less really thinking or feeling until after she played her hand, no matter the situation, a skill you had lost over the last few years but one you knew you would have to rebuild and sharpen anew if you were going to compete for Demsey’s attentions while dodging Ramsey’s. 

Because, while mouras could charm crowds of thousands, if not tens or even hundreds of thousands, mouras were never more devastatingly charming and alluring than one on one. You remembered when you turned on the charm for Edward when he was the best option available to you, Edward didn’t stand a chance then, and now you could see that Sierge wouldn’t either against Bennie, she could practically get him to propose if she went at it much harder tonight. She was practically bewitching him, the same way you had bewitched Edward a lifetime ago. But such knowledge left you feeling ashamed for a behavior that had been taught to you in youth by your superiors. You had always just thought it was the moura bride way, an art form. Now it just felt as it was- dishonest. 

But Calla though, she wasn’t being charming just for the sake of being charming, she was being genuine and it was like comparing bright sunshine to the light of a candle to you as you realized, no wonder the rest of the Morrigan family could barely stand you, they could tell you were disingenuous and in this moment, you couldn’t blame them for that impression. You could still blame them for the extreme actions they took after though. 

“Is what you wish to retrieve from your house your moura contract my dear Audra?” Ramsey asked in marinai from a murmur into your ear as you instinctively bristled at his closeness, at feeling his hot breath on your skin almost made your skin crawl while his sister Charlotte sat on the other side of you, she was lovely, but you could tell her parents kept her purposefully naïve as most English women were at their age, but that was simply the difference in culture you supposed. 

You agreed to be Ramsey’s friend, however it was almost painfully obvious that he was wanting more than friendship from you but right now, you were not inclined to give him what he wanted. But you were curious to see what he was willing to give for it. Morbidly so. 

“It is, since Calla and Bennie are my friends, I wish for them to read it. I want them going into a future they might enjoy here with their eyes wide open, and not be blindsided as I was, but since I have signed the contract I can not speak of it, but nowhere is it written that I can not have other people read it.” You answered. 

“There is no need. I have a copy of it at my own residence at Windsor and if you truly wish for them to read it, I can provide it for them without you having to expose your own hiding place for it, I have been going over it in detail for the last week since your coming out into society was brought to my attention, if you’ll forgive me, I only wished to do my research and upon reading it, it intrigued me, just like you do. However I have had the best moura lawyers go over it and there are so many troubling details and inconsistencies in it, that make no sense and now that I have your permission to investigate the matter further, I will do so with expedition. The Morrigans have done you wrong and while the current situation saw you some justice, more is owed to you, and if you will simply hold off in showing your friends the contract because I do not want them to get the impression that what you experienced is the norm because it absolutely isn’t, in particular the one that Richard and yourself signed, I will do everything in my power to open up every prospect for you that I can, including returning to the stables, if you so choose to return to them, but not as a bride, but as a dowager.” Ramsey offered and you softly gasped as your jaw dropped and you lost your grip on your fork and knife as they clattered on the plate which seemed to garner everyone’s attention from around you, Demsey especially seemed to pause and stare, silently asking with a look to see if you were alright while the marinai word for dowager- halmana seemed to instantly engrave itself into his mind while Bennie seemed pleased as she gave the Dauphin a giddy and excited smile of approval while Calla too seemed excited since they had been lowkey overhearing your conversation while they carried out their own. 

“Dowager? How could you possibly elevate my status to that of a dowager?” You questioned as you picked up your wine glass and held the cold crystal to your burning cheeks as you could feel everyone’s gaze weigh heavily on you before you drank what remained in your glass and got it refilled. 

“Oh ever so easily, because as a dowager, your own possibilities to who you can remarry would be limitless, whereas now, you may only remarry who you wish within the nobility in England, which is not necessarily that promising, otherwise you may lose what little bit of security you currently enjoy. But as a dowager, that security may be paid out to you whether you chose to get remarried or not, whether you have a hundred children by a hundred different men or not and I want to make sure that when and if you ever do decide to have children, in or even out of wedlock, that they will also be provided for. Would this please you?” Ramsey inquired, mentally dangling every carrot he could think of because while he could see Calla and Bennie work their charms on Demsey’s brothers, he knew that at any moment, they were going to turn to Demsey and Demsey, besides being spoiled for choice, will be hopeless to resist them, they were simply gaining speed and a foothold with his brothers before they went in for the kill. 

But for now- Ramsey reasoned that he must tempt you into not doing anything that would ruin that before he could fully dazzle you himself. He needed to get you into a spectator state of mind, instead of a contender, that Calla and Bennie clearly were. Because once you chose him, your own dazzling charm aimed at him after you’ve taken in all of his greatest sides, then it will be seen as you trying to court him, and your choosing him since that is the only way the contract would be satisfied, it was your choice, but he had to make himself the best choice, much like Edward had done for himself. 

“It would.” You tentatively answered, trying and failing to not sound weary of him. 

“However I fear that if you have the power to lift me up so high, then that means you have the power to tear me down so low, lower than I am now. And I would be better off without your interference to begin with then. If anything, especially your mood or whim were to decide one way or the other. We are friends are we not? How can I give my friends, ones that I have only known for a night so much power over myself and my situation? Since you have read my contract you know that I have suffered from a power imbalance before. And this time around, I refuse to give such power to anyone, even to a friend.” You began as Bennie’s jaw dropped in almost horror at your words while Calla seemed to weigh that over as well as Demsey noticed their reactions to your words and never before had he needed to know what in the world was being said. 

“Oh no, you misunderstand me completely my dear Audra, I would never dream of tearing down something I helped build up, especially you, no I would never dream of meaning you any harm, no I want to protect you from all harm, from all others and even if you chose to have nothing to do with me, I would still choose to intervene to try to get you justice, you are moura as I am moura, and there must be more protections in place for all mouras. How could I in good conscience have not just yourself but three mouras here and not have safety nets in place for all of them?” Ramsey quickly reassured you as Demsey frowned, something about what he said, you clearly took offense to. He just needed to figure out what that word meant and why you’d have a bad reaction to it. 

“Then I will hold you to your word and I will wait and see how you follow through and deliver then if you can truly make myself, Calla and Bennie all dowagers, and none of us owe you anything in return and once it would or could be done, it would never be reversed for any reason, so that it would be written in stone as it were, or I will have to retract my permission.” You firmly insisted. 

“Oh absolutely, I would expect nothing less.” Ramsey assured you as that seemed to satisfy you as Calla and Bennie seemed pleased with that as well. 

“So how long would you prefer I wait for my friends to read my contract?” You asked. 

“At least a week, but no more than a month, tops.” Ramsey suggested, figuring that was more than enough time to court you so well, you would feel inclined to return the favor of him doing all this by marrying him and your yearly thirty thousand pounds a year will go straight to his pocket along with whatever stocks and shares in the Morrigan companies will also pay out too.  

“While I do trust you Ramsey, I have also learned to get everything down in writing.” You suggested. 

“Of course, I shall have something for you by the end of the day tomorrow.” He readily agreed.

“So what do you want in return for such endeavors?” You asked him. 

“Only that I at least have a viable spot in your heart to be able to court you properly.” Ramsey answered. 

“Does or rather- would any of it hinge on me accepting your offers of courtship?” You asked. 

“No, whether you chose me or not, you are royal moura, such efforts are owed whether I stand to gain anything or not.” Ramsey lied rather convincingly but you could see his falseness in his eyes. 

“Then I want that also in writing and signed by the highest judges and courts in the land who can hold you accountable for it.” You proposed. 

“Oh of course.” Ramsey agreed, because he doubted he would really have to follow through, you were going to be his by the end of the week, he was sure of it.

“So, since you’ve looked into my contract, have you seen the evidence of why I was deemed unfit to return to the stables?” You asked him. 

“I did not need to, I read the report myself.” Ramsey reassured you. 

“Then you should know that I will never again tolerate that kind of treatment. If anyone dares to mistreat me again, I will have no qualms or hesitation to fight back using whatever means necessary, laws of decorum or decency be damned.” You leveled as Demsey did his best to keep composed but he knew a threatening tone when he heard it and to hear you threaten the Dauphin was thrilling and exciting. He didn’t know what the Dauphin did to offend you but he was incredibly proud of you for returning it to the Dauphin’s face, he had to fight not to agree with whatever you were saying in marinai because he had no idea what you were saying but he was willing to bet that whatever it was, you were right about it. 

“Oh of course, anyone who dares mistreat you is to court death.” Ramsey readily agreed and the victorious grin you gave him was particularly beautiful.  

“Then we have an understanding, so if you will give me a piece of paper, I will write down what can be brought from my home and taken to the Windsor Palace so that I don’t have to miss any of this ball after all.” You suggested before he readily hand you his little notebook from his breast pocket and opened up to clean pages as you used the pencil from your dance card to fill out what you wanted from home. 

“By the way, did you like your dress?” Ramsey asked in English as he watched you write things down, noting your gorgeous handwriting. 

“I did, it had more moura touches than I was expecting.” You answered back in English as you wrote down what you wanted from home. 

“Oh good, when I saw you dining with the Morrigans at the Savoy from my private box a couple of weeks ago, which is what initially piqued my curiosity and intrigued me, seeing you look like a sparkling jewel among the dreary cobble of the occupants, I inquired where you had gone that day and to find out which dressmaker you used, I couldn’t help but make sure she added more moura details, in particular more Kilani and Kalinish touches, so that you didn’t feel so divorced from your homeland. I understand that the Morrigans have done all they can in that endeavor.” Ramsey offered as Demsey nearly choked on his food as he realized that’s how Ramsey knew of his partiality to you, he saw it for himself, while also kicking himself that he didn’t think to do such a thing, he was too busy paying for his sister’s new dresses, while he also knew that such a move would probably be inappropriate, for a gentleman such as himself to do such a intimate gesture for a woman he wasn’t married to, let alone a lady in society that he was not married to, his sister Kiera would have thrown a proper fit. Demsey was only partially listening to the conversations the Czarina and the Princess were having with his brothers as he watched your own interaction with Ramsey closely, he didn’t know what you were talking about but he knew the tones of a negotiation when he heard them, but he also wondered what you were negotiating. You didn’t have any ties, at least in business to the Dauphin but his gut was screaming at him that something big just went down right in front of him and he was keen to discover what it was. 

But a thought did occur to Demsey. The Dauphin knew no bounds, if he was allowed more power in the House of Lords, he would be an unstoppable political force, and the only ones to keep him in check was the royal family itself. The Dauphin was always happy to curry favor of everyone around him and was a natural political figure and even though he was connected to the royal family, he was also heavily tied with the common man and was seen as a down to earth, working man’s man even though he was born a blue blood himself. The Dauphin practically fed on popular opinion and loved to bask in the public’s adoration. But also had the ear of practically everyone in any position of authority. Including the judges and the courts. If what the Czarina had said was true, he could and most likely be talking to you about your own contract with the stables and with the Morrigans. 

Demsey had actually looked into it himself, but because he didn’t have that many friends in law only because his soap business didn’t need that much involvement in it and he had little nerve for the arguing of court in the house of lords only because he was a new lord and therefore didn’t have that much sway or power other than his one little vote and would rather just stay in his office all day and do something productive. But when he tried to look into you from that aspect, he had been firmly dismissed from even looking into it and was reminded that his own hold onto his own nobility was always a delicate hold, and that to question the dealings between a moura and her stables, was too dangerous a game, even for kings. 

“Are you alright Duke Demsey?” You asked him when he started coughing and sputtering while Calla and Bennie both turned and started patting his back. 

“Yes, the partridge is so delicious, I tried to inhale it instead of eat it.” He answered as he beat his chest with his fist to get a normal breathing rhythm going again before taking several long pulls of wine from his glass before it was readily refilled as you also realized that your own behavior towards Demsey was also clearly observed, by the Dauphin and who knows who else and it was that- that was the reason Calla and Bennie were here. Because of you. You would have to be more careful from now on, especially at Windsor, when every servant could be Ramsey’s eyes and ears. But if the Dauphin delivered, then at least Calla could be with Tzane if she genuinely liked him as well as you could discern she did, and for that you would put up with this. But having Demsey so close for however long, would give you a chance to get to know him better too and if you could at least show him that you were interested in him, but you would have to be discrete about it, but maybe you had a chance. 

After the ball, on the way to the Windsor palace Demsey sat with his brothers as they both eagerly looked out the windows of the carriage as Tzane and Sierge were bragging about their jewel orc companions and what they were eagerly looking forward to seeing of them at Windsor because their companions had talked about all the things they had wanted to do while they were there, like griffin riding and a moura’s version of sword fencing. 

“Did either of you find out what halmana means?” Dempsey asked them after both of them seemed to take a breath. 

“I do! It means dowager in marinai, it’s a classification for moura women. Very few moura women have that classification because it means that they can do whatever they want and marry whoever they want without anyone’s input or approval, even the stables have no authority over a dowager, in fact it’s the stables that have to listen and obey dowager moura women.” Tzane readily offered as Demsey’s eyebrows rose in surprise. Demsey was expecting it to mean something along the lines of a ‘whore’ or ‘bitch’ or something offensive like that. Not...dowager as in queen dowager, dowager empress, kind of thing. 

“That doesn’t make any sense, why would Audra act like that was an insult? When the Dauphin said that to her, she...” Demsey thought aloud as he frowned and shook his head no. 

“I asked Calla that and she told me that the conversation was actually about Audra’s contract with the stables and the Dauphin was telling her that he was looking into it and was going to be trying to get her that status because she is currently has the status of shakan, which means lowly outsider- one not welcome back because you have little to no value as a bride, that you’re ruined beyond repair and is the lowliest of moura’s classifications. Calla said that there was almost a revolt in Kilan, which is the prefecture, or state, county kind of thing- her family rules in Dorierra when she was branded as a shakan because she left as a nescia, which basically means princess because she has more royalty in her pedigree than our own royal family from dynasties all over the world but mainly in the middle east, her family line was one of the first original moura lines in the stables when the stables were developed. She’s as original of a moura as mouras can get and had she not married Edward, she should have married an emperor or something like that. Calla said that it would be like a prince being stripped of his nobility and royalty and branded a commoner of a foreign country, a great humiliation, since then, no other moura bride ever set foot on English soil for fear of their own standing would suffer. Calla said that the royal family had to put up an enormous sum just to get them here and make all kinds of promises that their own status would only increase if they came. Because since Audra’s demotion, the price for a moura bride to come to here has been sky high, way too high for anyone but royalty to pay, the royal family had to pay Calla and Bennie seventy five thousand pounds each, just to come here for six weeks.” Tzane explained as Demsey could only cough as if he got sucker punched in the gut as Sierge whistled lowly. 

“But that doesn’t explain why Audra would be weary of such a thing being offered to her.” Demsey frowned. 

“That’s because Audra pointed out to the Dauphin that if he had the power to lift her up so high, he would also have the power to bring her back down on his whim and that she would be better off having him not interfere at all much less have nothing to do with him.” Tzane revealed. 

“Oh! That makes sense, that makes so much more sense now.” Demsey nodded in understanding. 

“Well you got to applaud her for realizing that, most women would be so distracted by the prospect of becoming a dowager, she wouldn’t think that what could be given could be taken away just as easily, which knowing the Dauphin, is sadly a possibility. She’s smart, I’ll give her that.” Demsey nodded. 

“Yeah but if she’s a lowly shakan, that doesn’t explain the Dauphin’s interest, he would think her beneath him.” Sierge argued.      

“Except, Audra told me that Edward provided a living for her after his death, it must be of some great worth and her dowry of fifty thousand pounds, if he succeeded in elevating her to a dowager, not only would she be a lady of great wealth, but also that of high class. She would be, relatively speaking, perfect for him. And with his ties to the courts and to the royal family, he could push for the Morrigans to pay out her yearly allowance for the rest of her life, even when she was remarried, and if he succeeded, she would be the most eligible bachelorette in all of Europa, and the stables would even bid for her to return. It’s a gamble that’s worth the risk for the Dapuhin. Just her dowry alone could set him straight from all of his gambling debts. But the real question is, is the gamble worth it for her?” Demsey realized. 

“It will be, Bennie told me that Audra negotiated for Bennie and Calla to be dowagers as well and that Audra demanded that the offer be in writing signed off by the highest judges and courts in the land, ones that would hold the Dauphin to his word and to the letter of the contract and that she didn’t owe him anything in return for his interference and that once it’s done, it can never be undone, even though the Dauphin only asked for a chance to court her in return, not that she’d say yes or accept the advances. Which for her, shows incredible insight and forethought, almost as if someone has warned of his character.” Sierge noted with an amused grin. 

“You two do realize, that there’s no way this family could ever afford a moura, much less a jewel orc moura from the stables, if their fee for six weeks of their time was seventy five thousand pounds, which is three times as much as our family makes in a year, we can’t afford them.” Demsey pointed out. 

“But if they become dowagers, they could, in theory, waive their fee if they really, genuinely liked us and wanted to stay with us, Calla said so herself.” Tzane pointed out as Sierge seemed pleased to hear that too. 

“Why do I get the feeling that we’re in water over our heads?” Demsey asked his brothers. 

“Because we probably are.” Tzane shrugged. 

“Yeah, that’s why it’s a really good thing all of us can swim.” Sierge grinned triumphantly just as they were pulling up to the palace of Windsor, their family’s other carriage that had their sisters and parents ahead of them. 

“True.” Demsey murmured to himself. 

[jippy-kandi]

Digimon Adventure: 2020 – Episode 1: Tokyo: Digital Crisis! (Review)

Thoughts on the first episode of the Digimon Adventure reboot series.

Disclaimer: I just want to make it clear that I’m watching and reviewing Digimon Adventure: 2020 in the context of it being a children’s anime -- because that’s what it is. By design, it’s obviously going to be “dumb” to the mind of the average adult. But that’s OK, because it’s for kids. And for a first episode aimed at children? It was pretty good.

The opening credits were 99% Taichi and I don’t like it if it’s permanently going to be this way. But I’m hoping that it will change to perhaps be character-centric to the person being “highlighted” in a particular episode, going through all eight kids, until there’s a permanent one where all eight are equally in it. I also hope the same for the ending credits.

I noticed that Angemon and Angewomon were missing from the opening credits, whereas the other digimon evolutions are shown. So I assume they’re following in OG Adventure’s footsteps and doing the whole “special angel” evolution reveal? I’m OK with that. It seems really interesting how they’re setting up Takeru and Hikari to be included this time (as they were both missing in the ending credits with the other five standing opposite Yamato . . .).

Both the opening and ending songs are fine, but I prefer the original songs, especially Butter-Fly. You are missed, Kouji Wada. <3

The art and animation of this series is really good. Toei Animation are really putting money into this series. I’m impressed.

I have mixed feelings about how they chose to introduce the characters. On the one hand, I think utilising just two characters is great to really highlight them to the audience and not overwhelm them with too much information. But on the other hand . . . I think introducing all eight characters in the first episode would make it appeal to more kids, because they can easily identify with one kid and keep watching the series. But a kid might watch this first episode, not like Taichi or Koushirou, and just switch off from the series completely. But I think what they went for is probably best for how they plan to introduce the characters (particularly regarding what they have in store for Yamato being a lone wolf who joins them later).

Taichi was a bit too generic to me. But, it’s only the first episode, so this isn’t a real criticism -- I’m sure he’ll be fleshed out as the series progresses. He also seems more responsible than OG Taichi. And while I do like his new voice, I think Toshiko Fujita was a lot better; she managed to convey more personality in her voice.

Koushirou was actually quite “cute”. But I’m not sure I totally like that he’s being portrayed as shy . . . he never seemed shy to me in the original series, but just a kid who was super absorbed in his own tech world. But his shyness did make him more endearing? I’m just not used to it so I find it a bit unsettling. But it does “humanise” him more and thus makes him more relatable, rather than just a distant tech nerd, so I guess it’s a positive? I also really like his voice.

I am liking the Taichi/Koushirou friendship a lot. You can tell Koushirou is going to completely idolise Taichi for making him feel included and “useful”. And let’s be real: Koushirou has always been the most underrated character when it comes to popularity, relative to actual impact on the plot, because he’s actually the one who solves almost everything and he doesn’t get nearly as much credit for it as he deserves in the fandom. It’s nice that they’ve spotlighted him with Taichi in this episode.

So apparently Mimi’s family owns a conglomerate because they made both Koushirou’s tablet computer and Takeru’s hat? I always thought the weird “TK” scrawled on his hat was for his name (TaKeru or T.K.), but apparently it’s for TachiKawa! Wow, Mimi is insanely rich this time around (moreso than the first). Princess indeed!

Takeru’s design is so freaking adorable. I still think his clothes are a bit off, but his face is so adorable! And I didn’t really think that of OG Takeru. I mean . . . I guess he was kind of adorable, but not overwhelmingly so like this one! He hasn’t said one line but, OMG, the cuteness. *SQUISH*

Did anyone notice that in Takeru’s room, there is a poster of an ASTRONAUT? OMG I loved that! What a nice throwback to Yamato’s future career in OG Adventure (and thus to the 02 epilogue!). I can imagine reboot Yamato idolising astronauts and influencing Takeru into liking them, too. Awesome Easter egg there!

So the Crests are showing up right from the start. No rehash of finding the Tags and Crests, then! (Or will they find the physical forms later?) I really like how different from OG Adventure it already is, while keeping touches of the old as well. Toei have done a good job with mixing the old and new so far. Keep it up!

I thought Taichi’s meeting with Agumon was super cute and quite “realistic” with Taichi reaching his hand out to “pet” Agumon! Though Taichi is obviously more courageous than the average person, because uh, I would be afraid that dino would bite my hand off, lol.

I thought Agumon’s evolution “sequence” to Greymon was really cool, but at the same time, I did miss an actual evolution sequence like the OG one. It’s probably just nostalgia making me feel that way. I can accept this new version though! It feels very “updated”.

It was very fast-paced compared to OG Adventure. I’m not sure I entirely like that Agumon evolved so easily and so quickly to Greymon in the very first episode, but it also didn’t seem to hinder the episode. But where do they go from here? What do they have planned to pad out this series if things happen so quickly? I’m intrigued to find out!

Oh, remember how I said less than 24 hours ago that I might not even like reboot Yamato? Yeah, well . . . throw that idea out the window, because the dude had two seconds at the end of this episode and HE ALREADY WON ME OVER lmao. He had NO LINES and was still the highlight of the episode for me. My attachment to him is insane. (Of course, I’m hoping he doesn’t turn out to be a super douche, lol.) I like that he was “chosen” before Taichi and was in the Network before him. What have you been up to in there, Yamato?

While I LOVED the ending credits, as I said before, I hope it changes to be central for each specific character (going through all eight kids), before there is a permanent main ending that includes all the characters equally. I really don’t like how Toei Animation seems to forget that there are EIGHT CHARACTERS and not just two. Come on, Toei, do the right thing!

But . . . let’s talk about the ending credits. IT WAS AMAZING. It characterised Yamato so much without him saying a word. I love that he’s still a lone wolf, that music is still a big part of his life (a bass at 11!), and that his love for Takeru is still so genuine. There was also a pivotal scene where it shows Jou, Mimi, Taichi, Sora and Koushirou standing together, and Taichi smiles at Yamato, who hesitantly steps forward to join them. I loved that! It made me think about the discarded plot where “Yamato might’ve separated from the group entirely” -- it seems like this is a reverse version and I can’t wait to see it play out. The scene that inspired that discarded plot idea was when Yamato decides to fight Taichi, and Sora yells at him to stop -- and I just loved her reactions to him throughout that arc. Especially because, if Taichi had turned on the group, I think Sora’s first instinct would be to conk him over the head -- but she gives Yamato a massive pass and then supports him to separate from the group to find himself. My Sorato thoughts are already swirling about how Sora will react to Yamato in this reboot! Will she hate him at first? Will she ask him to join? Oh my, they haven’t even interacted in this reboot and I’m already shipping them, lmao. I hope Sorato still have a connection in this reboot!

Overall, I liked it for a children’s anime. And I never would have watched it if it wasn’t a reboot with the original Adventure cast, as I have only seen a few episodes of Tamers, Frontier and Savers . . . and a few seconds where Yamato shows up in Xros Wars, lol. I’m not interested in Digimon, I’m interested in the Adventure cast. So I’m really glad this reboot exists! I’ll happily watch all episodes of this series because it’s more of my kids goddamnit. XD

Oh, and I just want to apologise that even though the episode was focussed on Taichi and Koushirou, I used screenshots of Yamato and Sora for the episode post . . . I’m sorry, I’m a Sorato blog! XD;

I think I will do a weekly Digimon Adventure: 2020 “review”, because the episodes are only 20-ish minutes long and it’s easy enough to consume and write about. And even if I might not have a lot to say about a particular episode, I can still spam Sorato screenshots, lol. :P

I can’t wait for the next episode! Because: YAMATO. <3

[kitkatwinchester]

So...considering we’re on the home stretch of the greatest show of all time--a show that has been a huge part of my life for the last eight years--I figured now was probably a good time to start doing reactions and reviews. I’ve seen a lot of Tumblrs do this, and I want to join in on that.

So basically, I’m gonna start by just doing a bullet point list of reactions as I go. Fair warning, I get very excited and very into this show, so the list’ll probably be pretty long. But hopefully you enjoy it! And, even if you don’t, this gives me something to look back on years down the line. XD

Also, my mom is watching it with me, so I might include some of her reactions/our discussion in my list too!

And, because I can, at the end of all of it, I’ll give a much more concise review/reaction based on how I feel after the whole episode’s over. Because why not. XD

Enjoy my watching! XD <3

Oh we’re starting!

...did I miss the “then” title card?

Oh wait there it is.

Dude we’re going FAR back on this “then”. I wonder what that means?

My poor baby crying again. :(

DEAN’S APRON OH MY GOD I’M DEAD! XD XD <3 <3

“It was. In the 50s.” Point taken.

My poor baby. :( :( :( :(

Oh so killing Amara is officially a plan? Okay then.

“I’ve killed Hitler.” I can’t believe he’s still talking about that! XD

Actually I can believe he’s still talking about it, I take that back.

DEAN WITH THE MARIO BROTHERS OMG!!

Okay, I know this episode has something to do with them celebrating holidays because of a fairy or nymph or something like that, and this is already feeling like a light-hearted, fun, domestic Winchesters episode. I hope it stays that way. <3

Have you tried turning it back off and turning it on again? Hit reset.

HE READ MY MIND!

MEAT MAN!! XD XD

Ummm...okay then.

Also SCOOBY-DOO UNDIES!!! DEAN YOU DORK!! XD XD <3

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Jack is my favorite and Dean is my second-favorite.

“Language!” “That’s it I’m getting my gun.” XD XD

I can already tell that so many of my reactions are probably just gonna be me quoting and then laughing. XD

They don’t seem very concerned? Shouldn’t random people not be able to get in?

This lady is such a mom omg.

Mrs. Butters? XD

Wood nymph. Got it.

“Shouldn’t you be in the woods somewhere? Nymphing?” XD XD (P.S. That was my mom’s favorite line in this episode. XD)

You what now?

Necessities of life?

Hmmm….I like her, but she weirds me out. Something is off.

Dean’s “oof that’s awkward” face. XD

“2020.” Hearing that year said out loud just feels...oof. Just oof.

Poor nymph…

Wait, haven’t we seen those symbols before? Maybe I’m making that up.

HA! “It’s kind of been one apocalypse after the other.” He’s not kidding.

OOOOH!! HERE COME THE HOLIDAYS!!!

WAIT WHAT IS THAT TELESCOPE THING?

WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT??!! A MONSTER radar??!! Dude WHAT?! Man, they’ve needed something like that for YEARS!

Wait wait wait...relatively nearby….it’s not gonna ping because of Jack is it?? SHE’S NOT GONNA HURT JACK IS SHE??!!

Oh okay nevermind. Just a vamp nest.

Say what now?

We can...that just...umm...okay then??

“Heck...heck yeah.” XD XD XD

Yeah I’m with Sam on this one. She seems innocent, but, like…

Dean does have a point though.

But also things like this never last. It’s too good to be true.

MY BABY!!!

“She’s probably harmless, but just in case, watch yourself”?? Dean that was a terrible way to do that but okay.

Snickerdoodles. XD

My poor baby looks so lost. :(

I mean...Dean makes a good point there. But also the son of Satan is adorable and she’s suspicious. But anyways.

“Ignoring your trauma doesn’t make you healthy.” SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT OMG!!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3

...Jack is hiding something? IS JACK HIDING SOMETHING?!

...do we know what Jack is hiding??

The only thing I can think of is that he knows about Cas’s deal with the empty, but he had a soul when that happened, and it wasn’t really eating at him then. Is it eating at him more now for some reason??

IS JACK HIDING SOMETHING??!!

Jesus christ this is gonna bother me…

Okay but when has that ever actually worked, Dean?

Awww….

I’m guessing they didn’t tell her he’s a nephilim? If they don’t really trust her--which they don’t--they shouldn’t. Is there a chance she knows already? I feel like she wouldn’t be acting like that if she did.

Vamps watching a movie with vamps. Classy. XD

...ew…

At least they’re drinking from bags instead of from humans I guess?

Nice slicing at the same time, boys.

Huh. Well. That was easy. Too easy?

CHRISTMAS! XD <3

THE TRAIN OMG!! XD XD <3 <3

Their faces. XD

HER DANCE!

Okay she’s kind of adorable not gonna lie.

“We are so keeping her.” XD XD

DEAN’S LITTLE EXCITED HANDS ON THE RAILING OMG I’M DEAD!! XD XD <3 <3 <3

If I can’t get adorable Jack right now, I’m okay with adorable Dean. XD <3 <3

Sam is still suspicious, but Dean is totally into it.

“Enjoy the world you’re fighting for.” That was really quick and so subtle, but d*mn that’s a good line.

MY BABY!!!!

HIIIII JACK!!! I MIIIIISSSSSED YOOOOOUUU!!! <3 <3 <3

Uh-oh. I don’t like the way she said “what are you”. DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY BABY!!!

“He’s a millennial.” XD XD

DEAN IN THAT NIGHTGOWN OMG!!! I know it was in the promo photos, but seeing it in the context of the episode is even funnier. XD

Sam’s gagging at his bro’s “down there” bits lol.

Oof. She is VERY absentminded by Jack and whatever he is. No likey.

...hmm. I still don’t trust her with Jack.

“Poppycock”???

HA!! “I’m worried about your cholesterol.”

And Sam and Jack’s little smiles at that omg. <3 <3 <3

“We got one!” IS THAT A HILLYWOOD PARODY REFERENCE/GHOSTBUSTER REFERENCE??!! Because IT FEELS LIKE ONE!!!

The way they’re running to their rooms to get ready omg.

And that cut to them being dressed and going.

LUNCHES!! XD

Their faces! XD

The cinematography in this episode is AWESOME. Go Serge Ladouceur (and yes, I looked that name up. XD)

No crusts. Blessed knives. “I just waxed it.” She IS a mom!

Wait no. Take Jack with you. I don’t trust her with him.

“What shall we do with you.” LEAVE HIM ALONE IS WHAT!

Oh. They’re doing dishes.

WAIT DON’T TELL HER THAT JACK!

...I don’t like the way she’s talking to him.

Oof. Mary. *gags*

Jack you’re adorable and I love you but please stop being so gullible and stop sharing so much personal information.

WAIT NO! I know you feel guilty, but DON’T TELL HER YOU KILLED HER!

...dangat.

...oh. That was actually super sweet, and honestly the EXACT thing Jack needed to hear. ...maybe she’s not so bad?

...wait what? She just...pulls those out of thin air?

Ha! Another hunt

THEIR FACES WITH THE LUNCHES! ESPECIALLY DEAN’S!! XD

Aww! Thanksgiving! <3

Where is Cas during all this? Talking to his angel friends I guess?

That finger gun at Sam omg.

It’s so EASY for them wow.

Halloween! Fitting given our current season.

Their little smiles awww!!

THE BEERS TOGETHER HOLY FRICK!!! IT’S JUST LIKE WHAT TEAM FREE WILL 2.0 DID WHEN JACK CAME BACK! AND what the boys and Mary and John did in Lebanon! NEVER GETS OLD!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!! <3 <3

...I still don’t necessarily trust Mrs. Butters. BUT I LOVE SAM AND DEAN AND JACK!

Those faces for the lunches just get better and better.

GRENADE LAUNCHER!!

MJOLNIR OMG NO WAY!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE HE STILL HAS IT!!! THIS EPISODE HAS SO MANY EASTER EGGS OMG!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Also that is an AWESOME shot.

BIRTHDAY!! Awww… <3 <3

OOF. Poor Dean. XD

Jack’s laugh and then immediately being like “oop” and bringing his head down but still chuckling when Dean glares at him I CAN’T. XD XD

I LOVE THIS FAMILY!! <3 <3 <3

AWW!! She made extra for him!

Okay, I like her. But I’m still cautious.

Oh. THERE it is.

What’s she doing??

Jack’s got you lady.

My mom is wondering why she has to walk away to make another smoothie when before she was just producing them. I’m wondering if maybe she has to near the ingredients to whip it into a smoothie magically, but that seems weird...continuity error?

Get her, Jack. My smart boi. <3 <3

My Mom: “You better hurry it up there, Jack.”

Oh it’s evil Men of Letters dude. NOW I get why we went that far back.

Oh! AND the Thule. NOW I get why Dean mentioned killing Hitler again. Wow. Nice connections on this episode all around. Go writers.

...she did what now?

WTF??!!

HOLY FRICK!!!

HOLY S*** HOLY S*** HOLY S***!!!

Do NOT ask about tea or cookies after you just pulled sh** like that.

On a more positive note, the way Jack just said “son of a bitch” out of nowhere like that is so adorable because he, like, NEVER swears, but also that’s Dean’s saying and it just proves that he’s taking after his dads and just already growing up and AHHHH I LOVE HIM!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

Also Jack please go tell your dads what you found.

Okay so during the commercial break, my mom and I looked up wood nymphs and had this big discussion and here’s kind of what we came up with:

So we were trying to figure out if wood nymphs are supposedly evil, and we didn’t find much, but they do have super strength (which explains her ability to rip off that dude’s head…), and the ability to control wood and nature, which might explain why she can pull smoothies out of thin air.

So then we saw on the SPN Wiki page for this episode that part of the description mentions that the wood nymph would do anything for her family, and that makes me wonder if she has, like, ulterior motives to protect her wood nymph family? But also, she said the Men of Letters were her family, so that translates to Sam and Dean now, right? So theoretically, she wouldn’t hurt them, she’d be trying to protect them. Which means they should be fine, because she only hurts threats. But then my mom pointed out that maybe she considers Jack a threat and that’s a really good point, so now I’m worried all over again. She’s still acting weird with him, and even though I did like that little advice she gave about second chances, maybe it’s all an act? My mom thinks she, like, poisoned his sandwich or something with anti-nephilim juice in order to try to hurt him, but that was before she knew he was a nephilim, right? I don’t know. I think my mom makes a really good point. I hope my baby winds up being okay. :(

Okay. Back to the episode now. 

Ahhhhhhhh noooooo. Where are the boys when we need them?

Wait, DATE?? EILEEN??!!

No. He isn’t. Go away.

Sam look at yoooooooouuuu. <3

But also please take a moment to notice how uncomfortable your son is and ask him what’s wrong please and thank you. (And yes, I will keep saying son thank you very much.)

Ha! She wants him to get a haircut just like Dean does. The joke’s about Sam’s (and, by extension, Jared’s) hair will never not be funny.

Ha! “Language.”

YES!! EILEEN!!!

YES SAM!! GO GET YOUR GIRL!!

DEAN! XD

Okay the Sam and Eileen thing is adorable, and Sam and Dean’s banter is hilarious, but guys...look at your son please and thank you. :(

I’m so torn between wanting Sam to just be happy and enjoy himself and wanting him to help Jack ahhhhhh.

Sam can go on his date. I’m sure Dean can handle it.

Roses! Nice touch.

Ha! Dean with the supportive big bro action.

Such. A. Mom.

“Boys.”

Wait nooooooo.

Okay but Alex’s acting right there...tip top. So subtle. Jack is trying so hard to be sneaky and warn Dean about what he saw, and the way Alex is conveying pure panic but also showing how sneaky he’s being is AWESOME.

Also that little “sh*t” or “da**it” or whatever it was that he mouthed? Somehow so cute and makes me so worried at the same time.

“The Dean Cave”?? XD XD

Dean I am BEGGING YOU, please take a cursory glance at your son.

...da**it...

The subtitles say “suspenseful music plays” XD XD

Wait Jack noooo. Don’t go after her alone! Chase Dean instead!!

NOOO!! NOT IN THERE!!!

She’s totally gonna trap him in there.

...what?

She’s being so condescending shut the fudge up.

What? No.

Does he still not have a soul? Is that what he’s hiding? That wouldn’t make sense.

Oh wait. I get it now.

HE IS NOT!!! SHUT THE FUDGE UP LADY!!

LADY STOOOOOP! HE DOESN’T NEED YOUR SH**!! HE ALREADY FEELS GUILTY WOULD YOU QUIT IT??!! :’( :’( :’( :’(

HEY! NOT COOL!

I HOPE SOMEONE RIPS YOUR HEAD OFF B***H!!

They’re not. They know he won’t now.

SHUT UP LADY!!

HEY!!! STOP IT!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

TAKE HER DOWN JACK!!!

He IS family!

...ummm...what??

GOD DA**IT!!

...my mom literally just said “told you so” about the poisoning. ...which also explains why she walked away to make another smoothie, because she WANTED him to find the video, says my mom. And yes, my mom was right, AND I HATE IT!! SCREW YOU LADY!! LEAVE MY BABY ALONE!!

It IS safe you B**CH!!

HE’S NOT A MONSTER!!! :’( :’( :’(

DA**IT!! DEAN PLEASE DO SOMETHING!!

Ha! He’s so excited about the sandwich and it’s adorable.

But also save your son!!

...wait what?

She’s...she’s really just gonna out herself like that?

Ha! YES!

Aww...Dean’s so disappointed. :(

BUT! He’s sticking up for his son! Because even if he’s mad at him for everything that happened to Mary (but also get over it, because she sucked anyways, Dean XD), of course he’ll still protect him.

Ha! The way he just takes it away…

Aww...poor baby. :(

He’s so disappointed. He deserves better. I feel bad for him. :(

HE IS NOT! SHUSH!

Aww...looking at the sandwich, but making the right call.

AWW! He’s trying. Best of both worlds.

Take the deal, lady.

DA**IT!!!

SERIOUSLY?!

SERIOUSLY???!!!

Screw you, lady.

HEY! NOT FAIR!

He is NOTHING like his father, thank you very much!

Well...now what??

Oh thank god, Sam’s home. He’s smart. He’ll find a way to get them out.

Her calling him Samuel is both hilarious and annoying, somehow. I think it’s only annoying now because I hate her with what she just did to my boys. XD

OOOOF.

She gonna out herself again?

Sam’s face when she said that about good news and bad news. XD

I suppose the benefit of having a bad guy who thinks they’re doing the right thing is that she’s not trying to hide it. So hopefully, if she outs herself again, Sam can deal with it a little better than Dean did, knowing Dean was not very successful lol. Dean let his love of her food get in the way. XD

She DID out herself!

Ha! “You were always the smart one.”

YES! Good job, Sam. Starting off strong. <3

YES! GOOD JOB SAM!! Nice manipulation.

Ha!

Can’t believe she’s asking about the date.

Actually yes I can. XD

Wait, why don’t WE get to hear about the date? I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THE DATE DA**IT!

Well, DUH, Sam, you think they don’t know that?

Dean OMG!! XD XD

SUPPORTIVE BIG BRO!! XD XD

In Dean’s defense, he knew she’d wait for Sam, so...it’s not like they were REALLY in danger.

Do NOT try shooting her. Are you kidding me right now?

...really Sam? REALLY?! You’re going to try to SHOOT her?? You’ve seen what she can do, and you’re going to try to SHOOT her? She got the jump on JACK. POWERED UP Jack. Really? Call me crazy, but I feel like that’s not gonna work.

Yes. Yes he is. ...so much for Sam being the smart one.

I want to be mad at them for getting distracted by the holidays, but also I can’t exactly blame them given their childhoods, so…

Ha! The way they both react to the Boxing Day breakfast. Such brothers. XD

There ya go. Good plan. MUCH better than shooting her. Thank you boys.

WAIT WAIT WAIT!! Is this where we’re gonna get the “you sure this is gonna work” “let’s say yes” scene from the promo?? I THINK IT IS!! (Okay, so I MAY have watched that particular five second scene a million and one times because it had my boys in it, but I love them okay?? Sue me.)

Hey. Chill, Dean. Don’t yell at him.

Aww baby. :( :( :(

He doesn’t think you’re a monster. He’s just upset. :( 

...uh oh. This convo is gonna be bad, isn’t it? :( :(

:’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

WAIT! “For a while” YES! THAT’S A GOOD THING!!

Oh wait. “Still am a little bit.”

“Evil Mary Poppins” XD XD

AWWW!! SEE JACK?! He DOES love you!! <3 <3 <3 <3

OKAY NEVER MIND THAT CONVO WAS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD!!! I need to break that down for a second.

That convo was short and subtle and to the point, but it says SO much about Dean and Jack’s relationship.

First of all, the fact that Dean decided to be honest with Jack instead of continuing to pretend everything’s fine shows how much he really does care about Jack and how much he still trusts him and loves him. He doesn’t open up often, and I’m glad he finally did.

Second of all, he may have been blunt, but there was so much affection hidden in the way he addressed all of that. I mean, he tells Jack that he used to be really mad, and he still kind of is, but then he reminds him that just because they’re in a rough patch right now doesn’t mean he wants to lose him. Yes, Jack made a mistake, and yeah, Dean’s finding it hard to get over it, but Jack’s family through and through, and that means that, no matter what, Dean’s going to look out for him. It’s the same way he treats Cas and, more notably, the same way he treats Sam. He’s giving Jack the family treatment. And THAT is a BEAUTIFUL thing.

All of that said, between all of the OG Team Free Will, Dean’s relationship with Jack will always be my favorite (probably mostly because they’re my two favorite characters, but also because they’re amazing together), so this convo makes me so freaking happy. <3 <3 <3 <3

Sam you are being not very sneaky. 

SERIOUSLY SAM??!!

I take that back. Sam is not being smart about this. *eye roll*

UGGGGHHHHH.

WHERE IS CAS WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!

Actually quick side note, one that I’m adding now that I’ve finished the episode: not having Cas around TOTALLY makes sense. Explanation included in the review.

“Because you are my favorite.” XD XD XD 

She shouldn’t still be making me laugh, but dangat she’s too funny. XD

Wait noooo. No torture allowed.

I KNEW IT!! I TOLD YOU!! I CALLED IT!! SCENE FROM THE PROMO!! XD XD <3 <3 <3

I LOVE DEAN AND JACK SO MUCH!! <3 <3 <3

Ha! Fixing his hands.

YIKES!

...but did the cuffs break at least?

HA! She actually converted him to not swear.

I love how Dean makes a point of swearing extra loud after he realizes what he did. I love him. XD XD <3

Oh frick, that didn’t break the cuffs? Are you kidding me? Stupid powerful magic…

OOH! Dean’s got an idea!

THOSE LITTLE SMILES I LOVE THEM!! <3 <3 <3 <3

OH SHUT UP LADY! Are you still talking??

...okay so...trauma.

Please listen to Sam.

YES HE IS SHUSH!

Just because he has blood on his hands doesn’t mean he’s not a kid. Just saying.

Okay so I kind of feel bad for her knowing what she’s been through, but also that does not excuse her behavior. However, I will take back what I said about someone ripping her head off. I suppose that isn’t really necessary.

That said, someone please do something. :( :(

WOULD YOU QUIT IT WITH THE FINGERNAILS SUPERNATURAL??!! I STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN OVER IT FROM THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE IN SEASON 3!!!

My mom and I are both turning away owwwwwww.

STOOOOOOOOOOP!!!

Jesus Christ lady!!

“Pain is just weakness leaving the body.” Dean what?! XD XD

HEY! Smart! Way to go you two!! <3 <3

And still helping his son up YES! <3 <3 <3

Okay that could not have been a more in character moment between Dean and Jack right there. Between the “not so bad” and the helping him up and the helping him walk down the hall and Jack just following him along and I just...I LOVE THEM OKAY!! <3 <3 <3

AHHH!! SHE TOOK OFF SO MANY FINGERNAILS JESUS!!

SHUT UP LADY!!

YES!

...Dean honey that was the reset button…

There’s no way that did the job. Too easy.

Problem not solved!! Problem DEFINITELY not solved!!

Creepy green eyes!!

Oh she looks maaaaad. That’s not good.

HEY!!! What happened to not hurting family??!!

LEAVE THEM ALONE!!

Which family??!! Cause YOU’RE the one destroying them!

No he won’t.

“You hurt him, you hurt us.” GREAT line!! YES SAM!! <3 <3 <3

Oooh!! He’s getting to her!! <3 <3

Oop. There’s our backstory. Mr. Cuthbert wouldn’t let her go back. Not that I’m surprised, given what he did to Dean all those years ago.

Yes. Yes he did.

YAY! Dean jumping in to save his son. <3

NICE! Good call, Dean! <3

THAT FACE!! Jack’s face!! <3 <3

YES!!!! YES!!! GOOD JOB BOYS!! <3 <3 <3

Awww….poor Mrs. Butters…

Okay now I feel really bad for her. And a little guilty that I called her a b***h. I’m still kind of mad at her, but...her motives make sense.

Hey yay! She healed him!

Wow, this nymph is POWERFUL. Now that she’s nice again, can we, like, actually keep her? Cause that’d be an awesome ally to have.

Aww...Jack being the one to voice their forgiveness. So pure, especially since she was after him all that time. <3

Awww….Dean wants her to stay. He’s so upset. XD

But he also gets it. :) <3

OMG!! That shot with all three of them looking at her and those sweet little smiles they give her as she’s talking about home. There was just so much...genuineness in that! I loved it! <3 <3

Jack being the voice again. <3

Okay, she looks hecka cute in that outfit.

Oof. That makes sense lol. It would be way too easy if it didn’t revert back.

...inter what now?

Oh shoot...that just proves Chuck destroyed all the worlds...lovely….

Awww!! <3 <3

Ha! Her little words of wisdom to them! To reiterate: SUCH. A. MOM. XD XD <3 <3

Sam and Dean’s smirks at each other when she tells them to do the same things they’ve been telling each other to do for years--eat your vegetables and cut your hair. XD

Awww….that little extra nose crinkle and smile at Jack when she tells him to save the world. <3

I also just realized that this breaks my theory that anyone who meets Jack instantly falls in love with him because of how adorable he is. Though, I guess she’s a little different given that extra little motivation to protect her family in the only way she knows how. Plus, trauma.

Oof. Bye bye extra magic.

Aww...this convo between Jack and Sam. <3 <3

Aww Jack… :( :(

You weren’t stupid, baby. You all fell for it. :(

Aww….he’s looking for faith from Sam.

And Sam just gave it to him. <3

I know the line seems desperate, and in a way, it is, but the way that Sam gave him a little smile shows that it’s more than that. They are desperate, and Jack is their only hope, but also, Sam knows Jack can handle it, because he does have faith in him. It’s a short convo, but it says so much.

That tin has a birthday cake for Jack, made by Dean. Calling it right now.

“He loves that apron.” XD <3 <3

I KNEW IT AND I LOVE IT OMG!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THAT’S SO ADORABLE!!! And that is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT Dean’s way of telling Jack that he still loves him, and that he forgives him. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THEIR LITTLE SMILES!! <3 <3 <3

I’M SCREAMING!!! ALL OF THEIR SMILES AT EACH OTHER I FREAKING LOVE THIS FAMILY!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I SERIOUSLY LOST ALL FUNCTIONALITY JUST NOW TO THE POINT WHERE I’M ADDING THIS COMMENT LATER BECAUSE AHHHH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

AWESOME ending shot. It’s a great way to end a much more light-hearted episode while also setting us up perfectly for knowing that things are about to get heavy and serious. I bet whatever Jack wished for, it has something to do with taking on God.

Okay, so...those reactions were a lot longer than I was anticipating, and I want to apologize, but also, I did warn you. XD That said, review time!

I loved this episode! It was absolutely hilarious, but also sweet and touching. It mixed some crazy and fun moments with some of the most subtly emotional ones, both negative and positive. I absolutely loved all the Easter Eggs, and I loved watching the boys have a chance to celebrate holidays in a way that they never have before, especially with Jack. The facial expressions in this episode killed me. Between all of the little smiles and dorky excitement, I was laughing and smiling right along with the characters. Some stand-out moments/things for me: 

That convo between Dean and Jack. I already broke it down above, but seriously, I love how they did that. As a huge fan of Dean and Jack and their relationship, the way that those two interacted this episode was beautiful and really sets up the fact that they’re going to need to lean on each other for support as a whole family in the coming fight, and I loved that. <3 

Sam going on a date with Eileen! <3 Initially, I had a theory that Sam and Eileen would end up together at the end of all of this, but when she left a few episodes ago, I threw that idea out the window and it made me sad. So the fact that they went on a date and got to see each other again--even if we didn’t get to see it--makes me so happy and brings back my hope that they’ll end up being together. <3 That said, I am 100% going to write a fanfiction of that date, since Supernatural chose to keep it from us. XD

The acting really stood out to me in this one. Maybe it’s just because it’s been so long since I’ve seen them doing something new, but I honestly feel like J2 and Alex nailed it even more than usual. I mean, their facial expressions were seriously so amazing in this episode. Between the really dorky moments and the subtle emotional moments, I felt like their faces were always saying so much and I loved it. <3

One thing I want to address is the lack of Cas. I know a lot of people were upset that he wasn’t in it, especially since the boys were celebrating so many holidays with Jack, and while I agree that it would’ve been beautiful to have him there, it makes perfect sense that he wasn’t there based on the trajectory of the episode and everything that happened. For starters, if Cas had been there, the wood nymph business would’ve been solved INSTANTLY. Cas is always extra suspicious of people, so if she didn’t trust him because he was an angel, the odds of her getting the jump on him would’ve been slim. And yes, she did poison Jack with the smoothies, but, as this episode continued to point out, Jack is still a kid, so he’s still much more naive and gullible. Plus, he’s upset and guilty and confused and just generally vulnerable now that his soul is back, so it was easy for him to trust and be manipulated. But if Mrs. Butters had tried to do the same thing to Cas, (and I’m picturing that one scene with the milkshake in Peace of Mind here) there’s no way he would’ve fallen for it. More importantly, with how worried he is about Jack, he would’ve been really vigilant about the way she was talking to him and everything, and he probably would’ve caught the poisoning long before it could really hurt him. And you can argue that Sam and Dean probably should’ve picked up on it, which is true, however, even they admit that they get distracted in the fun of it all. While it would’ve been great to see Cas in on the festivities, he wouldn’t have been quite as distracted by it as the boys were, and with his vigilance, there’s no way any of them would ever have gotten hurt. He’d be watching Mrs. Butters like a hawk, and the second she did something suspicious, she’d be gone. That said, I can understand if people want to say that’s dumb, because if they didn’t want Cas to defeat the villain so easily, they shouldn’t have had a villain that could be so easily defeated by Cas, and I’m sure some people feel like that’s a stupid excuse. To which I also offer this. After seeing those convos between Dean and Jack and Sam and Jack, and knowing that the episode ends with the three of them celebrating Jack’s birthday, Cas’s absence makes even more sense: this episode wasn’t about him. I love Cas, but it didn’t need him. See, Cas already has an undying love for Jack. While Cas definitely saw Mary as family, he never had the same emotional connection to her that Sam and Dean did--for obvious reasons. But he definitely had--and still has--a very strong emotional connection to Jack. He’s always been the most involved in being Jack’s father--again, for obvious reasons. But even after the Mary incident, it was Cas who went to find him, who tried to help him, and who wanted to protect him. Cas always loved him and always trusted him, and he always will. But Sam and Dean lost a lot of trust for Jack after what happened to Mary...and this episode fixed that. Because Cas wasn’t around, it gave Jack a chance to prove himself to Sam and Dean again. Sam had already pretty much forgiven him, but Dean was definitely on the fence. He even says it. But the fact that Dean had that conversation with him and said everything he did proves that Dean still loves him, and it gave Jack the reassurance he needed that, while Dean is still mad, he doesn’t hate him, and he doesn’t think he’s a monster. And while Sam and Jack were on pretty good terms, Jack was still worried that Sam couldn’t trust him--that Sam didn’t have faith in him anymore. But when Sam tells him that he knows he can defeat God, Jack gets confirmation that Sam does still have faith in him. And after all of that, after celebrating all of those holidays together, and having both of those conversations, to then end that with Sam and Dean celebrating Jack’s birthday? That’s what this episode was about. Sure, it was a silly monster of the week episode. Sure, we got some adorable and hilarious moments. And sure, we got to see them celebrate things that they never got to celebrate in a real way before. But underlying all of that, we got to see Jack become part of Sam and Dean’s family again. We got to see them bond. And knowing that this is right before they all prepare to take on God--Jack needed that. The boys needed that. They needed to all trust each other again. And the fact that they celebrated his birthday at the end proves that they do. They’re a family again. They have each other’s backs. They trust each other. And they love each other. And as much as I love Cas, and as much as I would’ve loved to have seen him be a part of their holidays, he didn’t need to be. But those three did. And that’s why Cas wasn’t in the episode. So, frankly, full points to the writers for making that happen. While they gave us a fun episode, and they may have left out a fan favorite character, it created an underlying theme that’s really going to matter as we get into the big stuff of Season 15. And that’s awesome.

All in all, I thought this was a great episode, and I’m so glad that this is how we get to jump back into the season. Not only was this episode hilarious and fun, but it was also a great set-up for the coming battle and for all the hard and serious things that are bound to come in the next several episodes.

Rumor has it that this was the last “silly” episode of the show, and while that’s a sad thought to think about, it totally makes sense with what they did with the episode, and frankly, I think it’s a beautiful silly one to have ended on and a great way to lead into everything that’s coming next.

My Rating: 10/10

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid 192

192

    Holding Keith’s hand in public felt nice. Walking from the hotel to the restaurant, Lance found himself watching families of all types as they walked. He couldn’t help it. A smile coming to his lips as he watched kids nag their parents, or listened to them as they played. His hand sitting on his stomach while his mind substituted the kids for their twins, and the parents as Keith. Keith would be such a good dad. He absolutely knew that for certain. He’d worried when Keith had spent most of the night sleepless, the walk seeming to invigorate him as it wore away Keith’s energy. Keith needed his coffee pronto, lest a server cop his boyfriend’s uncaffeinated anger loaf rage.

  Leading Keith into the restaurant, it had a kind of rustic charm. Heavy oak logs made the walls, with all kinds of memorabilia stuck to the walls, including a giant stuffed fish with a plaque that red “Billy Bass”. It appealed to his tacky side in all the right ways. Sending Keith to find a seat, his boyfriend slouched off to throw himself into the only available booth. Lance giving a shake of his head affectionately. He really loved that cranky werewolf. Waddling over to the counter, he forced himself to remember to look and act like a girl. Keith didn’t know he was terrified of the same kind of comments made at the petting zoo being repeated. This trip had to go as well and as smoothly as it could. Picking up the menu, he knew instantly he wanted more than pancakes. Everything smelt vaguely appealing, and Keith would eat like there was no tomorrow.

  “What can I do you for, darling?”

Jumping at being unexpectedly talked to, the woman behind the counter cackled at him

“Sorry, love! I didn’t think you’d be lost in thought over a menu”

Lance flashed a smile, careful of his teeth. He kind of wished he’d worn a set of glasses. The more he stood in the restaurant, the more he heard and the bigger the world suddenly seemed to be

“Sorry, everything sounds so good I’m not sure where to begin”

The woman chuckled

“I remember those feelings. How many you got in there?”

“Two. I guess I do look pretty big”

“And carrying low, you’ll be in labour no time, love. Now. What do think?”

No. Nope. No labour for him. Not unless he was comfortably set up at VOLTRON... he’d hold his legs together for as long as possible if their twins dared to think of coming this soon

“I think I’m famished. Can I please order two sets of pancakes and two sets of the bacon breakfasts? Ooooh, and I’ll grab a fruit salad, two of the largest coffees you have, aaaand... I think I’ll have a green tea latte... and a fruit salad. Yeah, that’s all, thank you... oh! Do you guys have soy milk? I don’t want to gas my boyfriend”

  The woman behind the counter ogled him fo a moment, shaking her head and laughing again

“I don’t know where you’re going to fit all that... We have soy, almond, and regular. None of that skin stuff”

Lance blushed. He couldn’t help that he didn’t exactly know what he felt like, but food seemed like an amazing idea

“It’s for me and my partner. Soy will be fine, thanks”

The woman slapped his arm gently with the back of her hand

“I know that, love. Just an old woman teasing”

“You don’t look that old”

She looked about the age he should look... her name tag reading “Dae”, the white tag almost lost in the red of her bright red shirt

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Now, darling, cash or card?”

“Card please”

  The woman rang up there largish breakfast bill. Lance paying as he was trapped into small talk

“So, love. Are you here for our Easter markets? Or you one of those passing through?”

“Oh, my boyfriend and I are spending a few days here. We’re meeting up with some friends”

The woman printed him a receipt without him asking

“I’m sure you’ll find this quite boring compared with the cities around here, but we have own charm. Now, can I get a name for this order?”

He’d been prepared for that. He’d made kind of a mental story for himself. He and his photographer boyfriend were driving up, stopping in small towns as Keith built up a portfolio in the hopes of turning to selling prints online

“Lancella... my, uh, parents were hoping for a boy”

“I’m sure they love you at any rate. We can’t help our names. You go take a load off and I’ll bring your coffee over. Take my advice, love, take a look at the markets while you’re here. They really are something else”

“Awesome. We might just take your advice. Thank you”

    Siding, barely, into the booth opposite Keith, Keith was glaring at the menu in his hands. Tugging it free, his boyfriend huffed as Lance set the menu back into its holder

“Your coffee’s coming”

“Good”

Keith should have perked up at the thought of coffee. The scent was strong enough that Lance’s stomach was threatening to turn traitor right there at the booth

“Babe?”

“It’s nothing. You looked like you were having a good conversation, Lancella”

Lance rolled his eyes at the name

“I’m a simple man. The best lies have a kernel of truth in them”

“It pisses me off that you have to lie. You’re you. If people don’t like that, they can go play in traffic”

  There was his grumpy little anger loaf. He’d also realised something that was likely to make Keith grumpier

“You can’t just put them in traffic. You know, we’re going to be in trouble”

Keith sighed deeply

“What for now?”

“I’m starving... and all that food has to come back up. Plus, apparently I’m going to pop soon”

Scowling at him, Keith sat back and crossed his arms. His voice firm and joke free

“There’s no way you’re allowed to even think about giving birth in this crappy town. Don’t even think about going into labour”

Sometimes it was scary how in tune they were. He didn’t want to give birth here, yet he couldn’t hate this town

“I don’t know. This town isn’t that crappy. This is the town you were born in and you’re not crappy. Maybe crabby... but not crappy”

“You’re fucking hilarious”

Lance shot his boyfriend double finger guns

“I try. But seriously, I’m starving...”

  He’d also forgotten to do his shots before leaving the hotel room. Keith coming out with the bath mat around his waist had driven away the thought. His boyfriend hadn’t questioned why he’d packed heavier than usual. There was a whole suitcase of towels and bedding, waiting to be unpacked. His new plan was that after breakfast they’d unpack a little more, and he’d look up the directions to the cemetery where Keith’s dad was buried. The vampire knew his own pain from having now lost both his parents, yet that was nothing compared to Keith losing his dad at such a young age. Making the comparison seemed really shitty and like it lorded the fact Lance had had his parents for so long, that’s why he’d never say it out loud.

  Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the coffee and the latte. Keith sliding both mugs towards him as Lance thanked “Dae”. Wrapping his hands around his cold drink, there was kind of a happy peacefulness as Keith took his first sip of coffee. This was nice. Them having no real schedule. Not rushing around. Kind of on a date, but not at the same time...

“Stop staring”

Chuckling, Lance moved his hand up to take the straw between his fingers, stirring his latte as continued to stare

“What are you going to do if I don’t?”

Kicking him under the table, that was Keith’s great comeback

“Really, babe?”

“Fuck you. Fight me”

  It’d be soon long since he’d heard that one. The second they found out he was carrying, he had to behave himself and training went out the window

“I could beat you, but we both know you’d liked it”

Delivering the words slowly and purposely, Lance succeeded in making Keith choke on his coffee. Placing the mug down, his boyfriend coughed into his hand

“Fuuuuck...”

“Still want to fight me?”

“Keep this up and I’ll beat your arse so hard you won’t be able to walk for a month”

“Do you promise?”

On the back of choking on his coffee, Keith choked on air. His hand fanning his face as he shook his head

“You deserve to be punched in the dick for that”

“Nah. You love me too much for that”

“God. I fucked that one up”

  Lance knew Keith was teasing, yet he felt himself automatically tear up. Apparently he could dish it, but his ego was too much of a diva to take it. Dropping his gaze to his drink, he felt awful for how he’d reacted

“Babe?”

“It’s nothing”

“You know I love you, don’t you?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I guess my hormones are being silly. It’s ridiculous”

Keith wisely decided not to agree with him, changing the topic

“What did you order?”

Raising his head again, Lance shot him that fake smile that hadn’t come out in so long that he wasn’t sure he was doing it right

“Pancakes. Eggs, tomatoes, bacon, sausages, and fried onion. Coffee for you. Tea for me, and fruit salad”

“You think that’s enough?”

Now he was feeling self conscious over how much he wanted to scarf down his food

“I figured you’d eat what I didn’t...”

Keith playfully kicked him under the table again

“Great. Now I’m the garbage disposal unit”

  Shit. Why had his mood plummeted so much? Now it had, his ego was getting riled up. He was starting to feel vulnerable over being pregnant and into a strange place, where people he didn’t know could easily target him, or Keith. He couldn’t scent anyone like them in the place, yet he’d been so care free when they’d come in, he hadn’t thought to. The sudden shift to extreme vulnerability by his ego threw him off. They were a goddamn vampire. Had he been so inclined, he could easily take every single human on in the restaurant... Why was he suddenly so spineless? And why was his ego not propping his mood up with its usual douche attitude.

  “Babe, you’ve gone pale. And you’re shaking. What’s wrong?”

He was shaking? He hadn’t noticed...

“Sorry. My ego... just went funny...”

Keith stared at him in confusion

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know...”

He didn’t know. Was it not sure keith could protect them? No. Keith could and would go beyond them. Then why did it want him to run? All he wanted was a nice breakfast with Keith, so Keith wouldn’t be so stressed about what was to come...

  Leaning across the table, Keith’s confusion grew. Cocking his head, he drew back slowly

“You feel like... you’re pushing everything away. If there’s something wrong...”

“I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m sorry”

Trying to let his ego flare a little, the instinct to run grew with it. Lance quick to force it back down. Maybe he’d been too focused on being home of late? No one had made any kind of threat towards him

“If you’re not feeling well, we can go back to the room”

“That’s not it. All of a sudden I got a spike of fear and I’m not sure why”

  Keith pursed his lips, shook his head, then suddenly decided to move to sit next to Lance, a little too fast for Lance’s liking. Taking his hand in his, his boyfriend squeezed softly

“You don’t need to be scared”

Having Keith close should have calmed him, yet the spike of fear had spiked his anxiety over not knowing why he was kind of internally freaking out  

“I know. All I wanted was a nice breakfast”

“We can still have a nice breakfast...”

“I’m so sorry. I know you’re stressing badly. This has to be so much all at once”

The restaurant was loud, despite it being breakfast time. Too many people seemed way too awake

“The glasses help. Do you want them?”

  Yes. And ear plugs. Someone dropped something in the kitchen, Lance flinching at the sound as he shook his head

“No. No... it’s okay. I’ve been doing this longer than you have”

“Are you sure?”

“Babe, I’ll be okay. It’s just weird... I don’t smell anything... bad. Maybe I’ve spent too much time hermitting”

“Or maybe people just suck?”

“Careful, babe. Your grump’s showing”

Keith huffed with a pout

“I’m not being grumpy”

“Fine, your lack of people love is showing. I hope breakfast doesn’t take too long”

“You need to eat more. You’re all skin and bones”

Lance’s ego chose to take the wrong way. He ate. Keith knew he ate. He couldn’t bring Keith’s mood down any further

“I’m going to. Your babies are demanding it”

  Bring their hands to Lance’s stomach, Keith rested them there

“Already causing so much trouble. You two better give your dad a break”

“That’d be nice. I think the first thing they’re getting when they’re old enough is a trampoline”

“Why do I feel like you’re the one who’s going to be spending more time on it than them?”

“Because it’s nice to lay out under the stars?”

They hadn’t done that in so long... Maybe they’d get a chance while they were here?

“I wonder what sex would be like?”

And there Keith went stating the real reason he supported getting their kids a trampoline

“I’m not conceiving any future siblings on a trampoline”

Keith bumped his shoulder lightly

“There goes that idea...”

“I’m going to put you in a time out if you don’t get your mind out of the gutter”

“But without the gutter, my mind would be homeless”

  Without missing a beat, the werewolf had him groaning

“Who taught you that one? They need to be shot”

Keith grinned, Lance kind of envious that no matter how upset Keith was internally, he was keeping his ego well under control. He should be proud. No. He was proud. He just wished his would perk back up

“Pretty sure I learned that from you”

Great. He couldn’t exactly shoot himself... though he’d definitely shot himself in the foot in the metaphoric sense

“You don’t want to listen to me. I’m going crazy in my old age”

“You’re not even that old”

“Older than you”

  Keith put on that bad southern drawl that never failed to work on him

“And twice as pretty. A pretty little thing like you should be careful. A big bad wolf might just gobble you up”

“Nah, my boyfriend takes care of all the scary things out there”

“I could take him. They don’t call me the Mullet for nothin’”

Oh lord. That was terrible. That was terrible and Keith knew it was terrible

“Is it because you’re kinda fishy? A bit limp all dead eyed?”

“Why, miss. I’ve been told I’ve got the perdiest eyes around”

Lance let out a long groan of defeat. He didn’t feel safe, and as much as he didn’t want to feel amused, Keith’s stupidity was kind of turning his frown upside down

“Alright. No more. I get it”

“Do you feel any better?”

No...

“Yeah. I’m still staving, though”

“It won’t be too much longer... hopefully”

   *

Keith kept a careful eye on Lance once their breakfast finally arrived. Lance noticing, and responding by eating despite the lack of interest in the pancakes he’d wanted. It was hard to pretend to be happy. Everything felt too much for him, and having it all feel too much for Lance threw him.

  Holding it together, the walk back to the hotel was brisk. Lance tried to shake him off to go to the bathroom alone, but Keith wasn’t having it. As Lance “threw” himself down to vomit, he slipped behind him, tugging off the annoying wig so he could rest his chin on Lance’s shoulder. His boyfriend was shaking, his skin felt a little colder than its above barely warm natural state. Having played breakfast over in his mind, he still didn’t know why Lance had spooked, or why his ego had drawn in. The only thing he could think of was that that woman’s words brought up Lance’s fear of giving birth soon. No one had said anything to his precious mate. No one had barely looked their way. No. Everyone else was too busy fucking chewing like a herd of cows. The noise infuriating now he’d noticed.

  Staying with Lance until his stomach settled, his boyfriend wobbled on his feet as he stood. Keith had spent the time giving Lance belly rubs and trying smother him in his scent to calm him down. His own ego was rattled by their mates strange actions, making it almost mad at a situation where no one was to blame. Rinsing his mouth out, Lance stared at him in the mirror. He looked exhausted

“I’m sorry”

No. Lance had nothing to be sorry for

“Babe. Hey, it happens”

“I’m supposed to be the one in control here... and I freaked out for no real reason”

“It’s okay”

  Lance didn’t know he was semi echoing Keith’s earlier movement as he kicked the basin cabinet lightly

“No. No it’s not. You’re stressed. You’re in a new environment. You’re being forced to go out with me when I look like this. And I couldn’t even keep my shit together long enough to enjoy being out to breakfast with you. It’s fucking pathetic. I should be past all this shit”

“You’re overthinking things again”

Sighing deeply, Lance went to grab his toothbrush out the toilet bag, only to knock the contents out. Sensing the impending tears, he turned his boyfriend towards him, gathering him against him

“Babe. Hey. It’s okay. I’m not mad and you haven’t done anything wrong”

Lance shook his head again

“I’m sorry... God. I feel so fucking incompetent”

  Lance wasn’t incompetent. Keith ego saddened to hear their mate talk about himself like that. He wanted to make Lance smile again

“You’re not. Didn’t Dae say something about a fair?”

Again, Lance shook his head

“Sorry... I think I want to lay down for a bit... and I really need to pee. Can... can you get the blankets out the suitcase? They’re in the black one”

“And you’ll be okay?”

“I’m going to pee, then I’ll be out”

Kissing Lance’s hair, Keith found himself more anxious over Lance than the thought of seeing his father’s grave. Maybe Lance was more tired from the day before than he was letting on

“Alright. I’ll be waiting”

   When Lance came shuffling out the bathroom, he made straight for Keith. Keith having covered the top of the hotel bed with their three blankets, the bottom one acting as the sheet between them and the crappy bedding below. Lifting the corner back, his boyfriend climbed in beside him. Shoes and all. Lance had to be dead tired to not fight him over his shoes, which had kind of become part of Keith’s daily job. Laying himself against him, Lance rested his head on Keith’s chest, arm snaking around him. Somehow the feeling that came to mind was akin to missing that bottom step and terror flooring you for a moment as your stomach dropped. When Lance started crying, Keith could only let him cry it out. He’d gotten used to Lance having more emotions than he thought possible for a vampire. Lance’s motto seemed to be “sometimes you just need to cry it out”. Still. It sucked. They were so far from their friends. So far from home... and the hard bit was yet to come.

    *

Falling asleep Keith, Lance carefully pried himself off his boyfriend. He felt safer for being in the hotel room, and disoriented from how hard he’d seemed to nap. Creeping to the bathroom, then back into their room, Lance mentally sighed to himself over his emotions. He was being so dumb. Keith needed him... None of this... he couldn’t break down now. Taking his phone off the bedside table, the vampire crept back into the bathroom. He’d already talked to Keith, explaining that he didn’t get what was going on at all... Yet he wasn’t sure that Keith believed him. His people hating boyfriend had offered to take him to the markets on for Easter. That wasn’t Keith’s thing. That was Keith grasping at straws and trying to find a way to make him happy again.

  The call took a long time to answer, Krolia’s voice happy as Lance wondered if he was annoying her

“Hey, Lance! How are you?! Did you and Keith arrive safely, I swear that boy never thinks to let me know he’s okay”

They’d sent a message to group chat, and that was about it. With some small unpacking, they’d both been too tired for phone calls and any form of in-depth conversation

“Sorry, Krolia. Yeah, we got here okay. If this is a bad time, I can call back”

“No. Not at all. Is everything okay? I mean, I’m thrilled you called, but I’m confused as to why”

  That stung a little. He hadn’t spoken to Krolia all that much since Keith turned...

“I won’t keep you long. I have a question, and I think you’re about the only one who understands what it’s like to be pregnant”

He would have turned straight to Mami if she’d been alive. He felt like he really needed that maternal support right now. Hearing her voice would have driven home she was safe and she would have teased him for being hopeless

“Shoot away! Are my two grandbabies giving you grief already? I can have a stern talking to them, if they are”

   He wanted to reach through the phone and hug Krolia. Keith was absolutely amazing with him, yet he couldn’t fall pregnant. A small snort escaped without him meaning for it to

“They’re fine. Using my bladder as a trampoline and wriggling around in there. I... uh... I was wondering if when you were pregnant with Keith, if you ever felt... scared for no reason”

There was a pause. Lance grateful Krolia was taking the time to think about it

“Sometimes, yes. Especially in the line of work I do... Did something happen?”

So Krolia has only experienced fear when thinking of vampires and werewolves...

“We we’re having breakfast and all of a sudden I got scared. There was nothing there to be scared of. No one else who wasn’t human... but... I feel like I was too care free lately. I didn’t guard my scent. I didn’t think about what would happen had someone caught it. I didn’t think about bringing Keith here and what if there was someone like us here... I didn’t think about it... and I feel... like me not thinking about it is the same as me thinking Keith... is... something less than he was”

  Starting to cry, he felt really very stupid for his tears. He treasured Keith. But he’d been running around trailing his scent after him without a thought of the impact. All he’d wanted was to get things done and settle his ego

“Lance, you love that idiot son of mine. I’m sure at the first hint of danger you would have reacted. Is Keith there with you?”

“He’s asleep... I’m sorry for calling... I would have turned to Mami, but...”

“No. No. I’m glad you called. I want to be there for the both of you. Yes, I was scared. But nothing like Keith’s father. The slightest thing and he wanted to rush me off to the emergency department. You’re under a lot of stress. Have you been...?”

Lance shook his head, then remember Krolia couldn’t see him shaking his head

“Not yet. I freaked out and Keith had to take care of me...”

“You’re nearing the end of the pregnancy. Fears happen. I know that all too well. Especially how the insomnia can play on your mind. You’ve both been through so much, and I heard from Curtis that you were looking forward to some alone time with Keith. My opinion is that you let Keith take care of you. He’s strong”

“He’s not that strong when it comes to his dad”

“No, but keeping it in will only make him worry more. He loves you. If anything were to happen to you... well, I feel sorry for whoever crosses you. I believe both of you would sense actual danger”

“How am I supposed to know the difference?!”

“You’ll know. Take these feeling of fear and ignore them. Push them aside. They’re useless. Focus on you and my grand babies. You should be safe there. Coran didn’t mention anything about anyone living there that you should be wary about”

Lance sniffled. Krolia hadn’t given him much of anything useful and it sucked... but she tried in her own way

“Thanks, Krolia. I’m going to go back to Keith now”

“No worries. Let me know how everything goes. You can call me. Anything you two need...”

“Yeah. I will. I... thanks for talking to me...”

“Anytime. I’m your mother too. You can come to me”

  Coming out the bathroom, Keith was awake, meaning he’d heard some, if not all, Lance’s side of the phone call. Stopping a few steps into the room, he expected Keith to be angry at him for admitting he hadn’t thought of his precious boyfriend’s safety. He hadn’t thought of anything much when it came to the more important things he should have been almost paranoid about

“Babe... come here”

Holding his arm out, Lance caved instantly as he moved to climb into bed with Keith, his emotions getting the better of him as he started crying again. Krolia wasn’t Mami. She didn’t give advice like Mami did. The vampire craving that maternal touch, that Krolia had only taken the point off of

“That’s it. I’m here... I’m here, let it all out”

“I’m sorry”

Keith gentle ran his fingers through Lance’s hair, hushing him softly

“Shhhh... I’ve got you. I’m okay and you’re okay. It’s okay”

“I miss Mami”

“I know you do, babe. I know. Let it out... let it all out”

  He was such a selfish boyfriend, yet Keith loved him anyway. He didn’t deserve the love he felt from Keith, but he did notice that together like this, the fear had mostly gone away. There really was no substitute for cuddles with Keith.

[veinereastath]

Far Cry: New Dawn was a disaster, and here’s why.

Okay, just to be clear - this is my personal opinion, not pure, cold facts that I’m trying to push down people’s throats. I just felt the sudden urge to break down piece by piece my utter hatred towards this game. So, let’s go. What exactly went wrong with it, and why Far Cry 5 was way better? I will try to present my ramblings and point of view by putting both of these games side by side. So, when reading every sentence in this... thing, add in your head a “it’s vei’s opinion” bit to avoid misunderstandings. Thanks in advance! First thing, to make everything clear - Far Cry 5 was not a perfect game. No, actually, it was far from so; there are many games much better plot-wise, with more entertaining gameplay, bigger world, more interesting side quests and so on. But, one thing for sure, this game has a spirit, an unique aura that makes many people want to come back to it and replay it over and over. The way Ubisoft portrayed Hope County is absolutely fantastic - the music, the landscapes, the characters. It was something new, something fresh, and despite quite a lot sceptical voices when the first trailers came out, it turned out really well, and in general, people really liked this game, or loved it even. Yeah, some people hate the endings, the fact that every single one of them is bad one way or the other and that you can’t basically win (I always thought this was fantastic, because, hey, you can’t be a perfect hero every time - even so, I love how this game, Seeds especially, mock the “hero attitude” that protagonist tries to have). But even so, Far Cry 5 was mostly a success, right? And the canon ending when the nukes get dropped seemed to leave a perfect opportunity for a sequel. So, what could go wrong? Well, about that...

1. How long is this game? New Dawn is short. It’s fucking short, because I installed it right after it became available (fun fact, this was the first and the last game I ever pre-ordered, so imagine how excited I must’ve been), and started playing it as soon as I could. In my case, it was around 2-3 am. I had a break then, woke up at 7 am and continued playing. I was playing it slowly - completing the side quests, because I wanted to know what has changed in Hope County, and, of course, I was looking for some easter eggs regarding the Seeds (surprised pikachu - there weren’t any, Old Compound, John’s bunker and Ranch are too obvious).  Took me around 5 hours to move on and actually start playing the main story. I was pretty sure that it will take me at least 10-15 hours to complete it (why was I thinking so, don’t ask me, I guess I still have way too high expectations after what Witcher 3 expansions have shown me). Again, surprised pikachu! I finished the whole game in 16 hours. Sixteen. Including liberating all the outposts (1 star in each, didn’t bother to get 3) and finish all side-missions + driving around the County just to look around. The hell? And it wasn’t a DLC? Just for a little comparison, because, yes, FC5 can also be completed pretty damn fast if you rush it, but my 1st playthrough of it, with all the quests and admiring the landscapes took me 33 hours. Which leads us to the next point on this god forsaken list, and that is... 2. The map.

The next reason why I am shocked this game wasn’t a DLC - the heckitty hecck they did with the map in New Dawn. Radiation zones? Sign me the hell up, they make sense, are cool and stuff, but adding them just so you could bite off half of the original map is stupid, and extremely lazy thing to do. Okay, you can take off some parts, but if you’re doing so, add something new - some new paths, caves, mountain routes, something. And no, expeditions don’t count. To make it worse, the parts that were deleted were one of the best parts of the FC5 storyline. Faith’s Gate, Drubman’s Marina, Jacob’s Armory, Wolf’s Den, and the fucking Veteran’s Center. The opportunity to make this a haunted location with an entertaining quest in it was HUGE and it was absolutely wasted. It’s not like they couldn’t done it, we’ve got the mission in old Joseph’s statue, and the crocodile pikachu in Inquisitor’s Grave (which, by the way, shouldn’t actually exist - this bunker was blown up to pieces, but it seemed pretty decent in New Dawn, there are barely any sings of explosions, not to mention that “The Confession” room is untouched!). You bought this game with an intention to actually go back in time and find out about something that FC5 didn’t tell you? Kekus maximus, you don’t. Have some photographs instead (which are a nice addition, but seem lazy). To give this post even more personal hatred - I really don’t like the Henbane River region, so you could literally hear my heart breaking when I saw that we got 50% of the River, 80% of the Valley and 10% of the Whitetails, which were my absolute favorite. So fun!

3. The Villains. I must admit, in the trailers, back when the hype for this game was insane, Mickey and Lou seemed to be quite interesting. Even though back then it was obvious that Highwaymen won’t have that kind of depth that Eden’s Gate had, it was still something I was looking forward to, even though those vibes aren’t really my cup of tea; but most of my excitement was born from my love for Far Cry 5, so if course I had to try out the sequel. So yes, the trailers were quite nice (just not the live action one - that was a fucking disaster, and killed my hype for a few days afterwards).

Mickey and Lou were quite fun, but to little extent, sadly. I liked their sister-sister dynamics, they really seemed close, and it was nice that shey were so different from each other - Mickey was more calculating, while Lou was living for the action and brutality in itself. The Highwaymen as a faction in itself wasn’t really that great for me, because their only purpose was to cause mayhem, and I simply don’t like something like this. But the sisters were something different, right? No, they weren’t, and that’s the point. I felt like there was little to no depth in their actions - it was all for fun, and I find this just boring and pointless (pr maybe I’m the boring one). I know that this is often how the world works - people take and destroy simply because they can and because it’s considered cool. We suck as a species, that’s official and well known, but I expected something more entertaining from a videogame. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I did. And Mickey and Lou were literally Highwaymen members with a VIP crown above their heads and nothing more. They left their mother? Okay, that is something that could lead to other interesting things. They killed their father for power? Huh, alright, I can work with that. The point is, it didn’t give them that much depth, their main purpose was to plunder everything. Which would be all good and nice if they were some kind of a side-faction. But this was The Villains™, and I wanted to feel something more towards them. And to be honest? I didn’t even hate them. I felt absolutely nothing, they just existed and I didn’t care, because they didn’t make this game interesting. What I will say now may sound brutal, but I will say it: I don’t consider two young people (they were around 19/20) just wanting to blow everything up “for lulz” a good villains. I fucking don’t. It was a huge downfall after what FC5 has given to us. I was just so bored when fighting the Highwaymen, because they were shallow, and their personalities were only focused on one thing. 

Of course, there is also Ethan. Yes, I hate him (he even has a very punchable face, what a coincidence!), but I admit he was somehow a nice touch in this game. Yes, he was a prideful, irritating kid, but while I was just utterly bored by the Twins, Ethan actually managed to make me hate him. The only thing that I’m quite bothered by is that I don’t believe that he’s actual, biological son of Joseph. To put it shortly, and say it louder for the people in the back - The Twins were just meh. Boring. How was the situation in FC5 better? Oh boy.

Putting their obvious... Attractive physical appearance aside, and focusing purely on their personalities, because that’s what I’m trying to explain - they were something else, and something new. Ubisoft took a risk with creating four villains for a single game, because it’s extremely hard to give each one of them the screentime they deserve, and make them interesting and unique. Did FC5 succeed? In a way, yes. I’m not saying that Seeds are absolutely perfect villains (they aren’t), but they can eat Twins for breakfast and still stay hungry. To show you what I mean, have some short descriptions: JOSEPH: Cult Leader, “The Father”, a person who claims to hear the voice of God himself. Someone from a broken family and difficult life, who was in prison (according to song dedicated to him), lost one job after another, lost his wife, killed his daughter, and then formed a religious cult. JACOB: military veteran suffering from PTSD, with a massive knowledge about history and psychology, someone who literally brainwashed nearly half, if not more of the County, and manages to combine religion (something he clearly isn’t really fond of) and personal, darwinistic look on life. JOHN: former lawyer, a person skilled in adapting to any environment, charismatic manipulator abused as a kid, forced to spend most of his life pretending to be someone he hated to be, battled with addictions, emotionally unstable and with sadistic outburts. FAITH: young woman devoid of purpose in life, also battling with addictions in the past, probably on the verge of suicide at some point, who was manipulated (and quite possibly drugged) in order to comply; a broken girl hiding her pain behind lovely smiles. Sounds pretty diverse, right? And I bet that at least one member of this family was somehow entertaining for everyone. Now, here’s what New Dawn has given to us: MICKEY: the more calculating sister; young girl who followed her father and chose brutal life, creating entertainment for herself by making others suffer. Shows some kind of regret when you defeat her by the end of the game. LOU: the more brutal sister; young girl who followed her father and chose brutal life, creating entertainment for herself by making others suffer. Doesn’t show any regrets towards her actions.

And honestly, that’s it. I really tried to write something more for the Twins, but I couldn’t put my finger on anything. That’s all we know. And yes, I know that there is a major difference between them and the Seeds, which is the age gap - FC5 villains are simply older and have more life experience, but honestly, this doesn’t make it better. Mickey and Lou could have much more depth and be far more interesting despite them being young. Age is not a problem in such a case. I suggest to compare Mickey and Lou’s descriptions with the Faith one, since she’s just few years older. There is a difference, isn’t it? And even when playing both of these games, the Seeds just seem to be better developed than the Twins. Ubisoft did something weird, because they managed to focus on four villains and make each one of them interesting in their own way, but made just two main villains flat, and nearly identical. 4. Radio calls. This is a continuation of the point above, because it’s also something I wanted to point out and is connected to the villains of both games. The things you can hear directly from The Twins can be mostly described as “hey rabbit, you’re pissing us off a bit”. Same with the things they say at outposts and direct them to the Highwaymen - it’s always about the same thing, and there isn’t a single line that I found interesting or worth remembering (okay, my bad, the fact that Mickey and Lou seemed to be dissapointed after Nana chose to stick with the Captain rather than them was a nice touch). Meanwhile, I can recite most of the dialogue lines from the Seeds from my memory, and it’s something I could do after 2 playthroughs. They seem to be on a whole different level - and yes, it is true that to some point, the “rabbits” thing is similar to “the weak” theme of Jacob, or “the sinners” in case of John, but it didn’t seem to be that much tiring to hear about. Faith’s radio calls were interesting, because with each one of them you could hear her demeanor towards the Deputy changing - in the beginning, she was friendly, but after you destroyed Joseph’s statue, she was scared, and at the final confrontation - maliciously hostile. Jacob started his radio calls history with a threat towards you, and kind off keeps that all the time, but the closer you get to the final meeting with him, the more... Okay, how the fuck do I describe it in a non-thot way amused (I guess we can call it this way?) he sounded. He was still far from friendly, you still didn’t have any doubts he’s your enemy, but there was something in those radio calls, something that suggested he actually sees the Deputy as something more than just enemy, as a tool he crafted all by himself and he was proud of it. John welcomes you with this cheesy ad at the beginning of the game, and as time goes on, he goes even more obsessed with making you atone and confess; not to mention his absolutely fantastic reactions to stealing his house and destroying his sign. His calls are something unpredictable, because once he’s all official and charismatic, but suddenly he switches to this ominous mode that actually makes you want stop for a bit and look around you, as if he was lurking somewhere. To sum it up, this game made you feel like if you were actually developing some kind of a relationship with each one of the family member. But the radio calls from the Twins seem to be always the same, it’s all about “rabbits” and “problem solving”. Yes, it might've been better if only one sister was all about it, and the other one had something else on her mind, but making them nearly identical was a lazy move.  5. Landscapes.

Far Cry 5 was amazing, because every region was different and had something else to offer. Henbane River was full of Bliss, which created weird hallucinations, Faith dancing around you was also pretty interesting addition, and The Pilgrimage was also a nice touch (I recommend going with it, it’s a really nice experience, actually). Holland Valley was the pure definition of Montana countryside, and it felt fantastic to walk around and see those little farms, cows, windmills and so on. Whitetail Mountains were also something unique, with less open spaces, a huge amount of wildlife, combining massive mountains with deep forests. And even though the colors of this game could be simply described as beige-green, I didn’t really feel bored when wandering around. New Dawn had a cool concept, actually - makind the post-apocalyptic world colorful, instead of making it a grey wasteland was something new and I was excited. And, honestly, I really liked how it all looked like during the first 2 hours of playthrough. After that... I was just so done. The pink colour in itself wasn’t bad, really, but the way they added it everywhere made me feel sick. Those flowers were nearly everywhere and they were always the same. And while I love screenshoting landscapes in games, New Dawn didn’t really felt like something I wanted to spend time on. I like to admire the views of FC5, but not in ND. Combining the small as hell map with nearly the same flowers on your every step was a bad solution. 6. Other. To mention other things - well, I guess we could mention the music, but I feel it isn’t fair, actually. Both games did this well in some way, FC5 songs are certainly something unforgettable, and I mean both the cult ones as well as the OST. New Dawn did what it could - gave Highwaymen music that fits them. The OST, however, isn’t that good. Maybe because it just doesn’t feel unique to me, while the different type of music in each region in FC5 is, for me, unforgettable in many ways.  I won’t really talk about The Deputy >> The Judge metamorphosis, because everyone sees it in a different way. I personally don’t consider it as a bad thing, it’s quite a nice plot twist, and I like it (even though I went with a totally different path with my deputy OC).

Okay, I think it’s time to get to the main point. Why I consider New Dawn as a disaster? The Villains were devoid of any depth and felt exactly the same, the map was small as hell, the story was way too short (and these two things should be enough to make this game a DLC, not an actual installment of the franchise), the landscapes were repetitive, 90% of what was left from FC5 (locations, for example) didn’t get a chance to shine. Just imagine how much more entertaining this game could be if we would find some old recording of the Eden’s Gate songs somewhere. If there were mentions of some terryfingly huge wolves roaming around, if the members of Prosperity actually mentioned something about John Seed (which house they are living in!), if we could visit the remnants of the Faith’s Gate, hear the ominous “Only You” when approaching the Veteran’s Center and read some old notes about experiments that were happening in there, and so on. Basically, the main opportunity that got wasted was focusing on continuating FC5 legacy in a more respectful way. The things I mentioned above seem like small details, but they really could make the experience something else entirely. So, yeah. I hate New Dawn, in case someone didn’t notice. :)

[9w1ft]

this post is for any swiftie who is on the fence about this, or anyone who has heard about kaylor for the first time. please allow me a few minutes of your time.. pretty please with a cherry on top? i see you. ready to scroll past this. please. in this moment. please. give it a read. two years ago i was right where you were. please look this time. it is so important to what is going on now and taylor needs you to understand fully about scooter.

we are at a turning point. taylor’s life’s work was just bought up by scooter braun and it is important for everyone to read this perspective because as swifties we have to understand the full gravity of the situation in order to best defend taylor against her worst nightmare. you may think the kimye situation is terrible enough, but add to it this:

Scooter has been a manager for a one joshua kushner for the better part of this decade. as in, the brother of the guy who is running major arms of our whitehouse without qualification. scooter’s job is to improve his client’s image as it relates to securing foreign investments as josh is a uh.... ‘venture capitalist’ in charge of investing his family’s assets. if you’ve been looking into scooter, go ahead and look into him too.

josh started being seen with then 19 year old (think about that) rising star karlie kloss. considering the amount of push in tabloids that this otherwise nobody started getting, these two are easily identifiable as a PR relationship. he does work with many overseas investors, and karlie helps bring them in where josh alone cannot (please take the time to look up about PR relationships and how common they are. also look up ‘bearding’ and how common it is to set up a PR relationship so that a manager can better mask who a client loves, should that be problematic to a target demographic)

taylor and karlie were formally introduced to one another at the end of 2013. they became best best friends. inseparable. seen together everywhere. anytime they are together their happiness is palpable.

did you know there was a slice of pavement in new york city by where karlie lives with the initials TS♡KK engraved? they were thick as thieves!

i am not going to ask you to believe taylor and karlie dated one another. and if you believe that, i’m not going to ask you to believe they are still together. as for the first point, well, the visual history between them (and between taylor and other women integral to her life story) is overwhelming and if you would like to look at what i feel are the most straightforward stuff browse my blog @kaylorwelcomecenter and beyond.

but i digress. let’s assume taylor and karlie were just best best friends, then

...well, okay, they got caught kissing (we think that’s what Dancing With Our Hands Tied is about). but let’s say they were drunk? regardless, the smiles don’t lie—i think it goes without saying that taylor and karlie were important to one another. karlie influenced taylor to stay in new york, for example, instead of moving to london. karlie changed the trajectory of taylor’s life.

and you know they meant the world to one another because of songs with specific lyrics pointing to that like You Are In Love (taylor had an instagram post of her and karlie road tripping at big sur with the caption ‘on the way home’), and on reputation with songs like King Of My Heart (‘drinking beer out of plastic cups’ ... google “taylor swift beer” and see what photos come up), and Dress (watch her perform it with karlie watching, as she sings “i don’t want you like a best friend”).

karlie signed with scooter and in 2016 trump assumed office. jared kushner suddenly represents our nation. from then til now karlie has grown further and further distant from taylor as her relationship with jared’s brother continues.

that pavement? construction happened and the TS was mysteriously cut out and replaced with a J along with the freshly laid concrete.

rep tour starts and includes the song “don’t take the money” by jack antonoff in the preshow playlist. please listen to that song.

karlie announces her engagement to josh and the very next concert taylor sings Curious with hayley kiyoko and is in charge of the line “calling me up so late at night are we just friends? say you wanted me but you’re sleeping with him.”

the only time they are seen in public is at the nashville concert in august, and there is a photo of karlie celebrating her bachelorette with her sisters. strange that the same ambience of the photo down to the curly pink straw was replicated in You Need To Calm Down. karlie’s straw says ‘bride’ while taylor chose the word ‘lover’

after passing through karlie’s hometown, taylor sang “Speak Now” and was shaking with electricity in her delivery.

taylor comes out as a democrat. says something compelled her in the past two years to start speaking out.

karlie and josh suddenly hold a surprise wedding (coordinated by scooter’s team) while taylor is en route to australia. i say surprise because it came out of nowhere, (wouldn’t you say it took taylor by surprise?) had close to nobody documented in attendance, and the tabloid articles pushed it constantly during the bad press the kushners were getting in conjunction to ... world events involving a us citizen that was a member of the press...

taylor lands in oceania and sings I Knew You Were Trouble and slips in a firey “and the saddest fear comes creeping in that she never loved me”

on the very last night of the rep tour, a kaylor sign (representing the pavement mark) gets put up on the big screen as taylor sings “you belong with me” and bows in front of it.

in between then and the lover announcement, taylor all but confirms that half of one of the reputation concept photos is a collage of her and karlie’s eyes. ...i mean, she even encircled which eye is hers on the lover album cover 😂

because their first wedding was such a drag, karlie and josh held a ‘bigger reception,’ also coordinated by scooter’s team, and they had the audacity to give out shots of patrón as party favors 😡 taylor is not in attendance.

now scooter buys her music??

not only is this guy responsible for bad behavior surrounding kimye, he also has orchestrated the obliteration of one of the foundational relationships of taylor’s life. whether it was platonic or more than that, i don’t want to waste my time convincing you because either way, hearing scooter’s name makes taylor cry. and i am a thousand three hundred percent positive that it isn’t just about bullying surrounding kimye.

think about that. think on it.

we need to support taylor (and god am i worried about karlie in her own right!) and it goes beyond the kimye drama because this man and his client are predatory and downright creepy. and given the political connection? dangerous. they ruined her reputation and took away her best friend. literally took her name out of the pavement and ‘married’ her friend off in the eyes of the public. this goes far f*ing beyond bad management practices. this is so unforgivable.

and i cannot stand for people jumping in the comments telling us we are all delusional. honest to god i thought this was all ‘a reach’ two years ago. i was there. but i gave things the benefit of the doubt and i looked into it. i did my research on the music industry, and on hollywood and PR relationships. taylor wanted us to get political, right? please take this a step further if you already haven’t and look into the structures that control our society. taylor is dropping easter eggs for us, right? we need to look for clues. taylor is drawing attention to LGBT issues, right? look at the intersection of that and the music industry, suspend disbelief for one instant and imagine if taylor herself was gay, what her relationship with karlie may have meant to her, and how it was torn apart, at the very hands of the men who took over her music.

i am being serious. people calling us delusional might like to tout themselves as being sane or more in touch with the world, but they are literally sticking their heads in the sand on this one and turning a blind eye on something that is so cutting for taylor... now and over the course of her whole career. and each and every one of them best get off anon and stick a name to their words and proudly stick a pin to their comments, and @ taylor (i am dead serious. at your words to @taylorswift) if they are oh so confident, because when this blows open they’ll be on the wrong side of history on this one and i want them to know it and own it and learn from it. because this a huge life lesson and we are poised to take what we learn and give back to our idol by defending her in full force and it’s harder to fight when you’re sitting on your hands.. what role are you going to play? please... make the jump.

[agl03]

Hi! Oh my goodness all of these articles are getting me so excited for the ep!!! What do you think that bombshell from Enoch will be if it isn't the baby bomb??

Anonymous said:  I just have a feeling that if BBG is a thing tonight is the night we could probably find out

Hi Anons, 

I went ahead and combined these two.

Well me and my whole Manage Expectations Speech tm have been told to go take a hike because I am so HYPED!!!!

Yes, one of the biggest bombs to come from those, aside from the whole it looks like the SS Sousay Dousy is gonna be making some serious progress, is that Enoch is going to drop a major bomb.  

A huge story point comes from Enoch, there’s some very significant lines that kind of signify what might be to come, and particularly where Coulson’s head is at and what he’s thinking. And that might signal how we move forward and eventually bring this whole beautiful beast to an end.

There’s some real poignant lines that I guess are more concepts and ideas of how each character might approach the finality of the show. And then Enoch drops a pretty huge bombshell that I don’t think is Easter egg status, because it’s quite out there!

Again my concerns for Enoch are through the roof at this point.  If he’s dropping bombs and helping Coulson with the whole Robot immortality thing sounds like someone who is about to leave us.  I want to be wrong on this but I really have a horrible feeling Enoch falls tonight.  I’ll also add based on other quotes about Coulson getting a bit of closure with everyone has also killed the Darth Robo Coulson idea as well.  Meaning its the team who will be after Diana....ouch.

Elizabeth has said that we are going to get more about Fitz, where he is and why from Jemma.  Meaning that particular bomb isn’t on the table for Encoh.

So the huge question is what could be possible mean with these lines:

It could be a warning.  A warning of what the team will be facing, that they are gong to have to work together, and what its really going to take to save their planet.  

Reveals that in the end, if they win, that the team will have to split up for “insert story reason here”.  

Reveals that Earth will need a new Chronicom to watch over it after he’s gone....and oh look at that we have one right there that just so happens to really love him some history. 

He is sorry he drug them all into this and he reveals that somehow started this or was working with another Chronicom for this one future SIBYL was talking about as it not only saves Earth but his people as well.  

Something about them needing to trust each other once more.  This could be how they go about trying to get Jemma to give up Diana.

A massive bomb drop about “We Had Time”.  As I said above Elizabeth has said many times that Jemma will be the one to give this information and we might hear some from Fitz.  So while I don’t think we’ll see him tonight we could hear some sort of message from him.  This could be that Fitzsimmons will have to leave the team in the end so the rest of the season the team will know their time with Jemma and FItz once they get him is now insanely limited.

A warning about an even worse baddie that is coming, and no its not decoy villain Nathaniel

Something about what he has learned about humanity and what it means to be human in his time with the team.

An insanely painful goodbye to Jemma, thanking her for giving him a family, to give “this message to his bestie”, and He, as he has always been, will be their friend.  

And yes, said painful goodbye could include one of the biggest bomb drops in the history of the show with the drop of the Secret Child.  And he tells Jemma to tell insert BBG name here that he is sorry he can’t make their tea date and he will always be watching over her.  So if you weren’t already sobbing here is another kick in the feels.  

Something so far out of left field like Kora I don’t see it coming and it just hits me in the head.

While dropping the Baby Bomb is on the table please manage your expectations accordingly.  I would love LOVE for it to drop tonight so @eclecticmuses and I can have a huge party about it.  But I am also very ready to have them sit on that thing until the finale and drop it as part of What We Are Fighting For.

[xsecretblastsx]

1x07 - Victor, Victrola

Finally! This is one of the most iconic episodes of this show and one I’ve been dying to get to since I’ve started with these recaps, Here we go! 

This one got so long I’ve decided to post it with a keep reading brake. 

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

I love that it opens with a vintage filter, which I don’t think I’ve noticed much the first time. I do remember thinking of this little preview “Guess Chuck’s meeting someone who’ll give him a run for his money”

Also how good is that shot of the those hills climbing up the steps, or maybe is just that I love the shoes

These is one of my all time fave Blair’s school outfits, she looks so pretty, and I love the obnoxiously big red bow.

Things I should have wondered, wasn’t this something Chuck would have show Nate before her? But this scene is a quick way to show that they’re in fact really good friends

“What happens at Victrola stays at Victrola” Not really Chuck, not really

God I hate Nate’s Dad

I don’t know why but I found a bit funny how the Captain’s office has so many little nautical details, kind of oversell

“I think I saw it next to that ambiguous vague shape” hi mom!

Dan lamenting that new Yorkers don’t have cars and therefore teens can’t make out in them, yeah Dan about that…

Nate’s attempt at bribing Jenny it’s so lame it’s almost funny

Chuck casually pointing out to Lilly that she missed a button, oh Lily!

It’s almost endearing to see Chuck put so much effort with his dad and how eager and accommodating he gets when his father says yes.

I love the scenes were Serena and Blair have typical best friends conversations.

OMG I had totally forgot that Dan was reading the Kamasutra in search of inspiration, also getting this anxious and picturing all these scenarios in his head. I feel you dude.

Does that cherry stem trick is actually possible? Ugh why am I even thinking about that.  Though didn’t the show used that bit on a poster?

That dress does looks ugly in a hanger

That was a good analogy of Vanessa’s role in this show.

Lily was so nice to Chuck from the start, as early as this episode, theirs is one of my favorite parental relationship in the show

How does Vanessa knows all about Serena’s hook up history though? Didn’t she went on Gossip Girl or Dan has a big mouth? Well I guess is the same thing.

“Game recognizes Game little J” Oh Blair you have no idea, also no, the Vanderbilt is ring is not the most amazing ring you’ll ever see.

Gotta admire the show’s attention to detail, Serena and Nate may be making out on Dan’s kitchen, but they still use the same background music they used the first time we saw that scene, but relly I had forgot how much fun I laugh with all his imagined scenarios.

For once I actually feel bad for Dan, having your own father tell you to get rid of those sheets. Akward.

Aside from Nate’s dad, and maybe Eleanor everyone else at that dinner really looks like they want to be anywhere else but there.

“I tried Blair” oh please Nate, you call her once, it went to voice mall and you couldn’t bother again, but I guess it was just easier to go to the palace to talk to Serena.

I remember the first time I watched this I was like “Yes Blarir finally! You tell him!

It should have been obvious since earlier in the episode, but when she steps out of that car it was the first moment it hit me that OMG the girl at the start of the episode was Blair! It is funny how while I already knew that now, the same thought kind of hit me again.

YOU GO BABY VAMP!

‘You still would do anything to get a girl on her back though’ it would not be S1 episode without a bit of Lily and Rufus banter

“Nobody’s ever looked at me the way you just did” what a telling line. Though did Dan and Serena did it or not?

Iconic scene is iconic.  Vintage filter and all.

Gossip Girl was never the same again

What a good episode in every way. Normally I always get bored with one of the little subplots, but not on this one. Hell I actually liked Dan and Serena this week, which hadn’t happened like since 1x01, and even then it was with a grain of salt. This episode is also hilarious, I didn’t watch this when it aired so I don’t know if they hinted at Blair and Chuck in one of their promos, but I hoped they didn’t because I like the way the episode flows a lot, we spend the whole episode seeing Dan getting anxious about losing his virginity, and then out of nowhere it’s Blair the one that ends up the night no longer a virgin.

Also I did enjoy this episode so much more this time around not only because well I’m a chair fan but because there are a lot of little details, almost like Easter eggs that point out to the last scene, like Dan pointing out the tragedy of New York’s teens without car where they can make out, or when Serena tells Blair that maybe planning and thinking too much about it may ruin the moments, and then you have Blair at the end of the episode losing her virginity on Limo without planning it at all.

In the Dan and Serena front though this episode is one that gives a bit more insight on the why’s Serena can’t never really forget a about Dan. She had being treated awfully by most guys she ever came across, and Dan’s the first that actually treats her like she’s worth it and worries about her feelings, we know it’s not as perfect as she sees it, he had been pretty judgmental of her in half of the episodes so far, but she doesn’t realize it because she’s used to man objectifying her for a long time now, she doesn’t see her own value, and that’s the tragedy of Serena’s character and why she deserved so much better.

This episode is also the one in which Nate’s family issues get to a boiling point, we finally see the amount of problems Nate’s dad has and why he’s absolute trash, and things are only about to get even worse. Really this episode almost everyone in the parental front is keeping a secret or being in denial, trying to keep the status quo in their lives, in contrast most of the teens are at the verge of really taking a step into action, Nate finally does something to put a stop to his dad lies by getting him arrested, Serena is experiencing a loving relationship for the first time, Dan gets ready to leave his virgin status behind, Chuck is taking his first steps in the business goals and Blair is finally ready to accept that his relationship with Nate must end. In the end though, of course Chuck and Blair went through something else this week.

Honestly, what can I say about Chuck and Blair in this episode that hasn’t been said before. This is the start of one the most iconic couples in T.V. I mean if they were real people this was the night that changed the course of their lives forever, it’s a monumental moment for so many reasons. There’s Blair who up until now, has never contemplated a future that doesn’t includes Nate, but as each previous episode showed holding up to that future gets harder and harder, no matter what she does, he seems farther and farther away from her reach, she tries being sexy,  ruining Serena, elaborate games  and none of it goes, by the time the family dinner comes to be, she’s exhausted, she’s all prim and proper, Vanderbilt ring in her hand and she’s never looked more miserable. And so she lets go of Nate, and goes to the one place she can escape from it ill, it’s a very obvious visual image but still I love the moment the dress came off is the moment one can tell she’s finally free from it all, basking in that relief she said she felt.

So she dances, and she does it for Chuck Bass. It may have happened because of a dare but really it’s almost logical that she let’s all her uptightness on the floor in his company because if one goes back and looks to the previous six episodes she’s at her realest with him, since the first episode he doesn’t sugar coats her thoughts with him, doesn’t pretend to be nicer, makes him a part of her plots and he knows about all her issues with Nate, their friendship is a lowkey constant in the background, and this episode starts with a reminder of that fact, he takes her to Victrola because he trust her judgment above all others, his second toughest critic, only behind his dad. Their friendship is one factor about them that I feel got lost as the season go by, but it’s one of my favorite aspects about them, because that was the very first layer of their relationship.

They probably never thought about their friendship being something especial, about the fact that they shared bits of each other in a way they didn’t do with Nate and Serena, they always had chemistry and in some deep part of their brain they probably knew it all along, but it was much better to ignore it because what was the point, but is funny how as soon as Nate is out of the picture and it’s just them without inhibitions, this happens.

It’s not hard to imagine that Chuck had always thought she was “10 times hotter than pretty much anyone” This is Chuck Bass after all, and he also admired her personality, it wouldn’t surprise me if he thought that Nate was probably the worst match for a girl like Blair, and yet the way he looks at her while she’s dancing, he’s in complete awe of her, he already had her in high regards, but he had no idea that when she lets herself be free she’s the most mesmerazing thing he has seen, and oh how he wants her, it’s written all over his face when he says how amazing she was up there, and Blair who’s used to be unwanted by Nate can’t help but be drawn to it and so she kisses him, and he knows he could go for it and she most likely won’t reject him, still he asks her if she’s sure because he knows that while sex is not a big deal for him, the first time was important to her and how she only tried to rush into it until she felt she was losing, he had first row seats to all the drama that was her relationship with Nate, and so with that little question he lets her know that there’s no pressure, and also a first clear nod to how she’s different for him, he may be all for encouraging a girl to sleep with him, but not this time, and she knows it and she takes the leap, she’s doing this for her, because she wants to, not forcing it as she always had to.

  Iconic scene is iconic.  

Random bits:

I can’t remember if it was mentioned before but Chuck’s line “he was born poor; I was born loaded” is the first mention of the fact that the Basses are new money.

Without you ends up being a really accurate song for their whole relationship.: 

I don't want this moment to ever end Where everything's nothing without you I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile 'Cause it's true: I am nothing without youThrough it all, I made my mistakes I stumble and fall, but I mean these wordsI want you to know: with everything, I won't let this go These words are my heart and soul I'll hold on to this moment, you know 'Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show that I won't let go 

[sometimesrosy]

I think madi will survive purely because I don’t think Clarke would ever be okay if she didn’t. She wouldn’t be the same after losing her kid

Well I mean every death has altered her. She hasn’t been the same after each one. Even with Bellamy. You saw who she became when she thought he had died. Was she okay? No. It doesn’t matter. She still continues on.

It’s not about having death and trauma not change her, the entire show is more about coming THROUGH the changes that death wreaks on her character. So I’m not sure that’s enough of a rationalization to put Madi on the safe list. 

That said, Madi’s still one of the safer ones on my deathwatch list. 

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT???

A thought has just occurred to me. It happened like this: I was thinking about who was safer, and I’ve got Raven and Murphy on my deathwatch list pretty high, but then I thought, oh hey wouldn’t it be a kicker if Miller (and Jackson) survived everything against all odds to be the last delinquent?

And I was like well that could happen. 

And then I was like, well wait a minute. In my first serious Bellarke meta after Hakeldama, I made the prediction that endgame would have Bellarke together. Because this was the main symbolism and represented unity in this universe, which is how they survive. Right? So then I thought:

Well what if the entire series is really about bringing Clarke and Bellamy (symbolically the light and dark of humanity, self and other, head and heart,) together in order to create a new world where all can live in peace and productivity.  And I thought, well yes. That fits. But what if that means to END The 100, we END the story of Clarke and Bellamy. 

What if everyone lives but Clarke and Bellamy? But they die, TOGETHER (they would already be romantically together, so the canon that everyone is searching for.) And I thought, Yes that could happen. 

Did JR not once say how he loved the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet? I believe he did but someone’s going to have to fact check me on that one. Anyone remember?

BUT. And please, this is the part that is freaking amazing, if it happens and there are some hints that it might, both in canon and from JR’s commentary over the years. BUT I am saying that if this is the case and Bellarke die in season 7, they won’t actually be dead.

No. I’ve been saying this for a while, at least all hiatus. Maybe longer. Because I think I first imagined an ending something like this back in the middle of s5. 

I think they’ll be lost in the anomaly saving humanity. I don’t know how or why or in what capacity, but, I’m saying that our heroes, the delinquents, will believe that Clarke and Bellamy are dead, in their final sacrifice for their people. They have NEVER stopped doing that. 

Then, as the delinquents pick up the pieces, sooner or later, they decide to head back to earth to fix the planet or because Sanctum isn’t working for them or whatever Idk. I believe that if the Earth is ignored and discarded in the end of this show, that that will be the biggest hanging narrative thread, because it’s ALWAYS been about getting back to earth and the rebirth of the planet and being responsible for what you’ve done. SO I think we’ll end back on earth.

So Raven packs up all of Earthkru and whoever comes with, and Diyoza leads the prisoners and Gabriel leads the Sanctumites and Octavia leads wonkru, and maybe if Madi is old enough she is the chancellor IDK. MAYBE only 100 people will come with them. That’s a nice round number and in circular storytellling would have us ending The 100, on episode 100 with a new 100 group stepping foot on Earth for the first time. We’re back bitches.

And then. 

AND THEN.

They land on the planet, and find... they are not the last people on earth.

NO! There’s a beautiful society there, just like Kane imagine, and when they meet the people they find out that Bellarke did NOT die in the Anomaly, but were instead portaled back to Earth, where they began a new life, together, taking care of The Earth and tending her recovery. And they either had their own children, or the other survivors on the desert planet collected around them.

Now this would be a hundred or so years in the future about 200 years after the left. Which was the original Pilot stated length of time before the Earth was supposed to be habitable again. So Bellarke would no longer be alive. They would still be dead to earthkru BUT they would have lived a happy peaceful life, just like Monty asked them to do, just like Marper. Perhaps become heroes and famous and even worshipped in their new society (another easter egg, my friends, when they first find Sanctum and saw Becca’s infinity symbol being worshipped, Bellamy said, “well, you can destroy the planet and still be worshipped after you’re gone.” he elbowed Clarke and said, “There’s still hope for us yet.” BITCH THAT IS FORESHADOWING omg. ok breathe.)

You see, JR deliberately told us there would be a happy ever after, the 100 style, for one couple in season 5, and that was Marper. DEATH, but after a full life lived on their terms. JR ALSO told us that the ending of the series would be a happy ending, the 100 style. Which means, we can expect something parallel to what we already got. AND with the blatant mirroring of Bellarke and Marper in the last episode of season 5, to me, that’s clear foreshadowing that the happy ever after ending, The 100 style, will be for Bellarke.

I think that after we lose Bellarke in, maybe the episode before the last, maybe the first half of the last episode, and spend the rest of the first half with Raven getting the new 100 to safety on earth (maybe the revolution on sanctum meant they turn on the freedom bringers, and they can’t stay there, they are back to wandering, a new exodus.) BUT MAYBE the last half of the finale, after the revelation of Bellarke’s Eden village, then flips to Bellarke who has been lost in the Anomaly and ends up on earth.

See from THEIR perspective, while they sacrificed their lives to keep their people alive, they’re the ones how survived, and they’ve lost their family, INCLUDING Madi. To them, it’s their people who died. And we have only BELLLARKE surviving the end of the series. So they create their new society, happy ever after, as a memorial to The 100 and all the people they lost. Never expecting them to even find out that they survived. 

So, like Marper, maybe we get a montage idk, maybe we just end with them starting on their society, having a baby, maybe the first earth survivors stumbling into their haven, or maybe just ending with the two of them, together, standing on the ridge, looking over the valley as the sunflare of a rising dawn flashes around them.

LISTEN. I know no one is going to buy my theory. No one thinks that JR will write a good ending because they’re bitter and disillusioned and listen to people who misinterpreted the show all the way along and don’t like to be proven wrong. 

But I got a hint of an ending like this a long time ago. He SAID he likes bittersweet. He SAID he didn’t know if he was going to give our heroes hope for a better future, or if everyone else was going to get hope but not them. I think he meant Bellarke as his dual protagonists. THIS ending that I laid out first gives us the first one. No hope for Bellarke but salvation for their people. BUT THEN in a twist worthy of Clarke showing up 6 years later happy and healthy after watching her die, we find out Bellarke did survive and got their happy ending, but lost their family (like Marper.) 

There are SO MANY narrative threads that this ending would tie together. Lincoln’s “you’re responsible for your monster when you let it out.” Kane’s dream of a peaceful society. Marper’s instructions for them to do better and live a happy life. The head and the heart. The circular nature of the storytelling. And then there are easter eggs and foreshadowing, like with Raven saying she wanted to take off of a planet just once without it being on fire. Or the Marper/Bellarke parallels. Or that comment of “there’s still hope for us.” Even JR saying it’s not time travel, but saying that it is a portal. And there’s something about Interstellar’s (one of the movies on his viewing/reading list he gave us before s6) weird time/space shenanigans. 

I just. I’ve been thinking about an ending like this for a long time, and while my theories have CHANGED in the details, as they should while the narrative is ongoing, in essence the themes and symbolism and structure has remained the same. I actually thought we’d see something like this at the end of last season, but it’s clear now that 6 and 7 are one story, not two. And there is still movement towards my original theory, although not in the way I thought. I am instead getting new details (like the earth lodges in the background of that shot, and eligius posts about how time is a circle) that help me refine the speculation, but don’t actually make me think I’m wrong.  

[hachichimitsu2]

A Comprehensive List of Stan and Kyle Moments (I UPD8 AS I GO)

A Comprehensive List of Stan and Kyle Moments (I UPD8 AS I GO)

Hello. Yes, you heard me. Here are all the scenes that legit scream out “STYLE” in South Park, whether these scenes are too far of a reach or not. I mostly compiled this out of my very own convenience, and hopefully this’ll help you a whole lot too. This is extremely text heavy, so I’ll put this under “Read More”. I haven’t played any of the games, so I won’t be including it here at this time, so if you guys know any good moments from the games, please let me know and I’ll add it to the list.

Cherokee Hair Tampons:

- The entire goshdarn episode.

- Stan being concerned and distraught over a dying Kyle breaks my heart. He was even bawling next to Kenny.

- Stan willing to donate his kidney to Kyle, even if it’d hurt a lot.

- Stan knowing that Kyle ate a bean and bacon soup half an hour ago shows that he’s been by Kyle’s side for quite some time now.

- Stan holding onto Kyle while they were at Cartman’s house.

- “Dude, you’re my best friend. I don’t want you to die before I do...”

Super Best Friends:

- Yeah, um, this episode...is gay.

- Stan and Kyle entering the episode with ice cream cones while Butters and Cartman wondering where they got them from. It’s assumed Stan and Kyle were hanging out with each other off-screen.

- I think Kyle being convinced that he’s not “really happy” through brainwashing is parallel to Stan being convinced that he’s “depressed” by the Church of Scientology.

- Stan trying to help Kyle escape with him, not even mentioning this plan to Kenny, Cartman or even Butters.

- Stan and Kyle looking at each other with longing looks while dramatic music plays in the background. Ah yes. I am...not even joking...this legit happened.

- How to Find Your Boyfriend 101: “OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!!” “Y-you bastards...”

- Stan pleading Kyle not to kill himself and to hold his breath while being there for him.

- The ending where they call each other Super Best Friends and both proceed to beat up Cartman when he teased that they should make out.

Cartmanland:

- Stan comforting a distraught Kyle.

- @belovedhomosexuals mentioned that canonically, Stan helps Kyle with his hemorrhoid cream, and IM-

- Stan doing everything he can to get back at Cartman for Kyle’s sake.

- Stan demanding the doctor to wheel Kyle out to see Cartman in misery.

Asspen:

- “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HEATHER!!” >:(

- Kyle not wanting Stan to do the K-13. He doesn’t want him to die.

- Kyle holds a polaroid photo of the both of them. How cute. Does he bring it with him wherever he goes?

The Biggest Douche In The Universe:

- Stan not wanting to go back to Colorado without Kyle and does all he can to convince him that John Edward is a fraud.

Follow That Egg:

- They are dads.

- They take care of their egg really well.

- “As a matter of fact, it is the nicest hat I’ve ever known”

- They’re the reasons gays could get married.

- Stan getting jealous of Kyle being paired up with Wendy. It does seem like a reach I have to admit, but if you’re a Stylendy fan, then this one’s for you.

Return of Chef

- The iconic beginning “flashback” where they both look at the sunset together.

Smug Alert:

- Stan and Kyle meeting in the parking lot in the beginning when Kyle was helping his dad give fake tickets.

- Kyle being moved away from South Park has Stan write a song to get Kyle and his family to come back.

- The cute hug in the end.

Fantastic Easter Special

- Stan, out of breath, asks Kyle for help in protecting Snowball

- Kyle helping him out anyways even though he was busy with fingerprinting.

- Cinematic parallels of Kyle killing Jesus and Stan killing that alien in Pinewood Derby.

Imaginationland Trilogy

- Kyle calling Stan in the morning regarding the “dream.”

- Stan and Kyle, unsure of the notes, both trying to recall the Imagination song. It was cute.

- Stan being distraught when ManBearPig got a hold on Kyle. (I swear, I’ve used the word “distraught” for over 1948388 times now)

- Kyle communicating through Stan telepathically with his Imagination.

Guiltar Queer O

- The whole episode.

- “I know...I need you.”

- The whole episode was literally as if they went through a break up.

- They’re both in sync when playing, right up to their tongues up.

- “Oh, so the gallant knight now comes to rescue me from the bowels of mediocrity! Oh, thank you, your royal lordship!” (Foreshadowing for SOT?)

- Stan thinking of Kyle as he’s “driving”.

The List:

- Stan doing all he can to prove that Kyle is a handsome mf. Another episode that screams Stylendy rights.

You Got F’d in the A:

- Kyle being so happy to see Stan dancing back to the Orange County kids.

- It’s canon that Stan can dance well while Kyle doesn’t have rhythm whatsoever. Wouldn’t it be a cute idea for Stan to teach Kyle how to dance?

You Have 0 Friends

- Kyle pleading Stan to water his crops.

- A short detail but if you noticed when Kyle announced that they made an FB account for Stan, he only added himself as Stan’s friend. This means that Kyle legit “friended” himself in Stan’s profile and didn’t bother to add Kenny or Cartman to Stan’s friend list.

- “Yes. WE’RE REALLY GREAT FRIENDS STAN!!” :D

You’re Getting Old:

- Oof. Yeah....

- Stan obviously loves Kyle a whole lot, but him seeing Kyle slowly turn into a turd probably did break his heart little by little. And when I mean by probably, I mean massively.

- Kyle shouldn’t exactly be demonized for not being able to handle Stan’s cynicism. Because I think it’s ok to admit you can’t handle such emotional drainage even if coming from your SBF, but do mind that him leaving Stan was most likely NOT easy for him. It’s kinda sad that they’ve slowly drifted away since then. BUT NO I REFUSE TO LET THAT HAPPEN ;-;

Assburgers:

- “Fuck you Kyle! You’re a piece of shit...Kyle, I love you. You’re a piece if shit though, fuck you...! I love you...”

- Stan immediately going back to Kyle when he’s feeling “better”

- That McDonalds Exec. literally narrating Stan and Kyle’s current rocky relationship and not believing every second of if.

A Nightmare on Facetime:

- “WILL SOMEONE GET ME A CHARGER OVER HERE!!’

- Kyle bringing and guiding Stan through the iPad.

Ginger Cow:

- Jokes aside, when Stan was asking Kyle about Cartman’s farts, he was really sweet and understanding to him. He genuinely wants to understand why Kyle likes Cartman’s farts so much and knew something was up by the way Kyle was hiding things.

- I also like how he was not afraid to call Kyle a dick. I think a good level of transparency is needed in a healthy relationship. That’s just how they roll.

- Stan helping Kyle cover up in the end....though it did backfire.

Black Friday Trilogy:

- “DID KYLE KNOW ABOUT THIS?!” “Kyle thought of it.” ;-;

- Stan being grounded and Kyle apologizing at the other side of the door was peak gay angst level.

- “That’s just how Xbox people are...” D:

- Ok now for something sweet. In the deleted scene, Stan was showing Kyle how the playstation controller works and...wow.......what cute babies.

Prehistoric Ice Man:

- “Oh my god! They killed Kenny!!” *looks at Kyle* “What? I’m not talking to you anymore.”

- Them fighting and arguing was so adorable. Their voices were so squeaky and cute in this episode.

- “First one to die loses.” SOGKEKGKRI WHAT MORONS

- Stan and Kyle kind of awkwardly trying to start the fight reminds me of Tweek vs Craig.

Mexican Joker:

- Stan angrily sending Cartman to the detention center after hearing about him sending Kyle there.

Band in China:

- “kyyyyyyYYYYYLEEEE :D DUDE YOU’RE BACK!!”

- Stan making a death metal band because a.) He hates living in the farm and b.) He misses Kyle so hard.

Britney’s New Look:

- Another Stan and Kyle episode where they both realized how so far in the wrong they’re in, and they desperately want to fix it.

- Stan and Kyle giving up in the end and joining in the chant.

The Death of Eric Cartman:

- Stan offering Kyle money so he could buy milk for lunch.

Two Guys Naked In A Hot Tub:

- “You can't just hang out with your buddy Kyle all the time. People will think you guys are, you know, funny.”

- When Kyle walks over in the end, Stan proceeds to complain to him how he had the worst night and they both go to Kyle’s house to hang.

The China Probrem

- In the beginning, Stan telling Kyle to refute Cartman’s racist sayings and got overly concerned when Kyle said he couldn’t do this anymore.

- Stan going in Kyle’s room to talk about moving on from what they’ve witnessed.

- Stan holding Kyle’s hand to run away in Kyle’s dream. Kyle waking up and crying when Stan wasn’t around to comfort him.

- Stan and Kyle crying in each other’s arms and telling each other “I love you”.

- Small detail but when they were leaving the attorney’s office and the attorney and the kids were crying altogether, Stan put a hand on Kyle to comfort him as they were crying.

The Mystery of the Urinal Deuce:

- Stan appearing in Kyle’s living room suddenly.

- “Well dude, maybe we're just super badass. Have you thought of that?” Yeah I know Stan was trying to cover up what he just did by saying that but still.

Cartman Gets An Anal Probe:

- Stan helping Kyle save Ike.

- “Hahaha you farted.” WHAT GROSS DORKS

- Kyle telling a speech to the aliens and Stan remarking how beautiful it was.

A Very Crappy Christmas:

- Kyle calling Stan in the middle of the night to get the guys, and Stan answering all sleepily is so adorable.

- Stan and Kyle voice acting together.

- Stan and Kyle doing the stopmotion animation together.

- Stan and Kyle laughing when they had Stan voice act Cartman to say the “ham” line.

Fun With Veal:

- Kyle taking care of a sickly Stan despite being a bit of a germaphobe.

The Snuke:

- Stan coming over to a sick Kyle’s house immediately after school has been suspended.

Crack Baby Athletic Association:

- Stan not being afraid to call out on Kyle.

- Kyle snuck into Stan’s room and Stan was listening to him unfazed.

Quintuplets 2000:

- Them trying to do gymnastics.

Pee:

- Kyle getting disgusted after hearing Stan talk about how it’s normal for people to pee in pools and in the shower.

Butterballs:

- Kyle calling Stan out in the bathroom, and they have this long ass stare. Kyle knowing that Stan will be jackin it in San Diego.

Bike Parade:

- Stan making Kyle laugh.

Proper Condom Use

- Stan and Kyle playing with a Jennifer Lopez doll and roleplaying.

- “SCREAM FOR ME BITCH!” “AHHHHHHHHH”

- Stan and Kyle in the same car with their cute big heads protruding.

World War Zimmerman:

- Stan and Kyle playing football.

The Scoots:

- Once again, Stan and Kyle playing football.

City on the Edge of Forever:

- Stan saving Kyle in his dream.

- Stan and Kyle sitting a bit closer to each other than usual in Stan’s dream.

Grounded Vindaloop:

- The tetherball date.

- Stan and Kyle saying “fuck you” to Kenny.

Clubhouses:

- Stan reading Bebe’s note, and Kyle being unfazed about it later in the episode. It was never defined whether he was informed the note came from Bebe.

#REHASH:

- Stan and Kyle being called grandpas by the little kids.

Tegridy Farms:

- When one of Ike’s classmates blew smoke in front of Kyle, Stan got extremely defensive about it.

Raising the Bar:

- Stan informing Kyle that it isn’t cool to continue on with “Fatty Doo Doo”.

- Stan checking up on Kyle as he’s sitting alone and listening to him lament about how the bar has sunk so low because of people.

Go Fund Yourself:

- *looking at Kyle’s ass* Boy this is the life huh.

Truth and Advertising:

- Stan and Kyle fist fighting for real, and Tweek and Craig looking at them concerned since they rarely ever fight like this.

Conjoined Fetus Lady:

- Stan preparing to catch Kyle if ever he fails to catch the dodgeball.

Stanley’s Cup:

- THEIR YOUNGER SELVES PLAYING HOCKEY!

ManBearPig:

- Stan’s head on Kyle’s lap. It’s so beautifully rendered.

Board Girls:

- “Wow, you are really into board games.”

A Scause for Applause:

- Kyle confronts Stan about cutting the bracelet by saying Heidi Turner saw him with super glue.

The Death Camp of Tolerance:

- “KYLE! KYLE! YOU HAVE TO KEEP MAKING YOUR MACARONI PICTURES!!”

South Park Bigger, Longer and Uncut:

- Stan getting jealous that even Kyle is amazed at Gregory.

Cartman Join NAMBLA:

- Stan and Kyle putting their face against the glass.

Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics:

- Stan and Kyle making fun of Shelly behind her back.

Raisins:

- Kyle coming to visit Stan with the gang after the whole breakup.

- Kyle wanting Stan to be happy again by bringing him to Raisins.

- Kyle being annoyed over Stan being distraught over Wendy. Jealous?

Mr. Jefferson:

- When Stan hears a knock on his window, he assumes it’s Kyle.

- Stan and Kyle being good caretakers of Blanket.

- Stan and Kyle sleeping with Blanket.