#oh well i gotta keep going
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They’re working “together” on a project….
#rottmnt#donatello#leonardo#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt Leo#SaveRiseOfTheTMNT#meme redraw#im really struggling to do these guys that by the time i get the sketch right i just want to give up#oh well i gotta keep going#i still like sonic im not lying#its just ive felt the last few months like i was butting a wall and my progression had stopped#and now i have the challenge of drawing these guys who all have very different body types#and its just nice experimenting with sketching and colours and stuff yaknow#not that i actually have the time do keep doing these im really shooting myself i the foot here
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Also as much as I love Durgetash, it genuinely ain't about the smut or romance for me (go figure).
I'm solely intrigued by 2 people who realistically shouldn't be able to have any connection deeper than bare surface level going far enough as to defy their gods for each other.
And I can't help but ponder how much of that was just plain manipulative behaviour on both their sides. Cuz like, Gortash, 10/10 manipulative as fuck, but Durge does have that streak as well and considering how well the temple has been doing, they've been at it and they're playing in major politics themselves as well.
And if they're already manipulating and stringing along the patriars, what's to stop them from using the new money banite that just popped up and clings to them for one reason or another.
I wholeheartedly do not believe, at the bare minimum at first, that either of these people had anything 'nice' in mind when hanging out with each other. And now I need to know if and when that view changed and to what extent.
That's my obsession in a nutshell ig.
#listen im in a moooooood#durgetash nation where have you vanished too#all them communities dead#gotta go gold a memorial service soon istg#oh well imma keep rambling#till death does me and my hyperfixation part#even if im the last one who gives a damn#i need to understand their brains#theyve become my fucking mount everest#bg3#bg3 spoilers#enver gortash#bg3 gortash#bg3 durge#durgetash#lord gortash#durge#gortash x durge#dark urge
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these are A BIT OLD but uhhh here check out these aggio doodles i did forever ago. still VERY happy w my colors :3
#this was back in uhhhh jan 2023!! hot dog!! and its still perfeclty good to eat!#i think kian and chip would get along. they could talk about feelings. kian could give chip the therapy he needs. maybe kiss? who said that#jay and rand could also get along i think. smoke buddies. cigarette fans. i bet they could play dnd together. or build a contraption togeth#also WAUHG the way i colored in kira here is SO PERFECT.. SHES SO SPARKLY N PRETTY. ALSO THAT HOOORNN i remember bleeding for that#shading is HARD lighting is HARD drawing a crazy unicorn is HARD but SOOOO WORTH IT I SITLL LOVE HOW IT LOOKES.....#waht else is there. oh yes the prime defender doodles#i love mark so much.... i miss being crazy and strange abt mark winters... i need to draw him killing more people someday#anyway i gotta go to bed soon to keep my sleep schedul on track but I DONT WAANNA!!!! recently relistened to bitb. that might release spore#im also chippin away at that am i in heaven animatic between workin on commissions. I GOT RLY FAR!! i think that i could finish it within#like. 3 or 4 more inspo waves. it wont be unfinished forevcer..... its so close... just 4 more full scenes to rly fleshh out#so basically another 2 years. YEAH BABy. in the meantime i have a backlog of things i can poast. i got plenty o drawings and doodles to sha#alrigh thats all the ramblin im gonna do for now. sleep well everyone hope shool or work goes easy on u in the coming week
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Wah-Rosalina (wosalina?)
she's from the sea but she keeps trying to convince people she's from space bc she thinks its cooler (she's not very convincing)
#mario#mario bros#princess rosalina#nintendo#nintendo fanart#I was in a call while making her n 90% of it was just talking abt how she'd fail to convince people she's from space#Like she'd only ever hang out w people by the sea n when it's time for her to leave she's like 'no you gotta turn around#'cause if you dont the UFO isn't gonna pick me up. they dont like being seen yk' n then she just sprints into the ocean#someone asks her how she moves on her home planet and she just makes a swimming motion (because low gravity!!! see!!!)#if anyone mentions anything abt space she'll follow it up with oh I knew that. yeah I just didnt tell anyone#whats that? there's a wedding chapel on the moon? well of course there is. I knew that. I got married there. Who's my wife? shut up.#She's banned from the observatory bc she keeps using the telescope to look for space boyfriends (and girlfriends)#She's jealous of rosalina bc how come SHE got to go to space?? huh???#if someone told her abt rosalina's dead mom she'd deadass go 'well where's MY dead mom huh???'#'why can't I have a dead mom n go to space?? huh??? huh!!!!!'#She's the worst. I love her sm
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Cooper Abbott x GN!Reader w/ BPD (Borderline PD) | Mini-Fic in Bullet Point Format
Hey there! I wrote this during the weekend when I was having a longer BPD episode and needed to vent and find comfort. Debated with myself on sharing it, but I also know from my previous BPD-centric writing that it helps others that find themselves in similar situations to mine, so, why not. This is focused around one BPD episode. General BPD!Reader headcanons with Cooper might follow at some point, though. notes/warnings; Gender Neutral!Reader; Reader has Borderline Personality Disorder; BPD Episode; Implied/Referenced Self-Harm & Suicidal Tendencies; Emotional Hurt/Comfort; Mentions of Murder(ous Intent) [because it's Cooper, so, duh].
Cooper Abbott Masterlist
You tell Cooper about your diagnosis as soon as you feel like you can trust him with the information. Over time, you’ve learned to be as open about it as you possibly could. That way you could weed out people that didn’t care or that believed in the stigma, and it was also helpful to set boundaries and explain your behaviour to the other person.
Most of the time - especially with the help of therapy - you try to manage your symptoms by yourself. You don’t want to burden anyone with your instability, and you certainly don’t want to risk being abandoned for being ‘too much’ again. But it doesn’t always work to keep it all away from the people closest to you, including Cooper.
He makes you feel safe, more than anyone ever has before him. He gives you the feeling of being seen and heard, and best of all, understood on some level. Not judged.
When you move in together, it’s a lot more difficult for you to manage your symptoms by yourself, though. It’s hard to mask your feelings either way; but when Cooper is present, it’s like there’s no way to hide from him, for better or worse.
One day, you have an episode, and you don’t know what to do because none of your recently learned healthy coping mechanisms are working, which only makes you feel worse.
Cooper tries to help. He keeps suggesting things for you to do, distractions, attempts to comfort you, and talks you through it. But it doesn’t help. It only agitates you more. Eventually, you snap at him.
Regret and guilt tear you up on the inside as soon as your words leave your mouth. And you see the way Cooper falters. It’s rare for his own mask to slip around you. He looks almost murderous for a moment, like he’d want to smash your head into the wall. And it’s terrifying on one hand, but on the other, you wish he’d do exactly that and put you out of your misery.
You leave the room and he lets you, knowing that you’re not helping each other right now, but only making things worse. And once you’re alone, you lose yourself to the episode, after trying so hard to keep it inside and prevent the worst from happening.
When you’re calm enough to face Cooper again to apologise to him for snapping, he’s gone. It almost drives you into another episode. But then you look at your phone and see that he sent you a message. An emergency at work. You don’t question it, but deep down, you have an odd feeling about the timing of it. Nonetheless, you decide to believe him, to cling onto his words that tell you that he’s going to come back to you, that he didn’t just abandon you over your outburst, and that he may not be as mad at you as he seemed at first.
You can’t get the look of his eyes from that moment out of your head, though. This murderous intent that gleamed at you. Those beautiful brown orbs that usually looked so gentle, suddenly devoid of any affection. Just cold daggers that were waiting to pierce you to death.
In the morning, after a restless night on your end, he returns home to you. He takes care of you, quietly and soothingly, not judging you for what you might have done during the worst of your episode. He lets his lips travel over each spot he knows you love to feel them most. The tenderness of his actions are a harsh contrast to the murder in his eyes the night before. Those same eyes that now look at you like you’re used to. Full of affection and care, and gentleness.
Once you’re both sitting in silence, you apologise to Cooper, almost frantically. Still terrified that he’ll leave you, just like the rest. But he doesn’t. He accepts your apology and even apologises to you, as well. For having to leave all of a sudden when you were at your worst and needed him most, for not doing anything that helped you; not that it was his fault at all, but you appreciate the sentiment.
Cooper finishes it with a new gift for you. A piece of jewellery he knew you’d love. He saw it on his way home, he claims, and just had to get it for you as a way to finalise his apology, but also to give you a new physical reminder of his love for you.
#cooper abbott#cooper adams#gender neutral reader#cooper abbott x reader#cooper adams x reader#jesse.writes#i'm surprised this is as coherent as it is and i didn't have to work it over entirely for the upload lol that weekend was rough#idk what's happening but things are getting worse and worse for me i don't understand why#and neither do my therapists which is always a great sign (/s) oh well#just gotta keep going and hope that it'll get somewhat better at some point
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it’s funny how things have gone full circle with malenia. she was so hated when the game first came out, but then people grew to like her. then the dlc came out and now people hate her again lmao
#i mean it’s hardly surprising given what we now know#she did all that awful shit and wasn’t even charmed#like i see people talk about how stupid miquella is because of this plan to essentially trap radahn#but that also makes malenia look stupid af too#‘go to caelid and kill radahn so i can marry him’ ans she was like sure#miquella wanted the one guy in the lands between who loves war and fighting to be his consort for his age of peace and compassion…#what a genius he is.#makes me wonder why he even needs some heavy weight to keep order for him when he can just charm people into submission#was radahn just there as a ceremonial position?#oh wait i forgot miquella thinks he’s super kind so that’s why he wants him#miq learnt about the gravity magic horse thing and swooned#honestly still can’t get over how incredibly stupid the twins look after the dlc#i think people like to imagine malenia was charmed just because it makes it all look slightly better on her part#like they are just making excuses for her#but holy shit the fact she was all but willing to fucking die so miquella could bag radahn..#what a thing to die for lmao#and he was apparently present after the battle? but didn’t do anything to help either radahn nor malenia?#instead he was helping a random redmane?#he obviously knew malenia had bloomed but ultimately didn’t care i guess#kind of like ‘oh well if she’s still alive when I get back i’ll deal with it then’#honestly wish miquella had just died in that cocoon at this point#tbh he doesn’t really do much in the dlc anyway they could have made it more about messmer and marika#hell bring melina into it please that would have been more interesting at this point#we didn’t need the dubcon incest plot micheal you could have left that one in the drafts#i gotta get this out of my head it’s driving me nuts#seriously need to move on from this game for my own sanity
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New headcannon just got airdropped into my thoughts. The song Hurts like hell but with click clack and it takes place during a depression episode at some point after thespius ascended but he hasn’t yet and is still dealing with the mental burden that is his friend/partner ascending and how his time is finite and all that sort of mental stuff that comes with your best friend/partner (and crush) now being immortal and them not knowing the certainties of it and if they’re relationship will ever be that same again for better or for worse.
This would honestly be such a cool animation but like I can’t animate for the life of me or have the time too with my break ending soon sadly
#not art#hc#headcanon#click clack#ggg#great god grove#brain thought#text post#the song hurts like hell#tw depression mention#cool animation idea possibly#would be cool as like a flash back sort of slideshow thing but like I have no art of them as humans/my headcanon human forms of them#what do you do when your friend(scratch that. love and all joy in life) ascends and leaves you behind to become a god and you have to deal#with what this whole event is doing to you mentally#angst#I definitely don’t think he took care of himself as well as he should have in those 33 years of separation#he didn’t have his rock to ground him and keep him in check too make sure he was actually taking care of himself#it probably pained thespius to see him self destruct but what could he do now. he was high in the clouds without a way to keep him safe from#himself#I love these two but those 33 years must have been so terrible for both of them. atleast they still had there love for each other#oh gods. thinking about this has made me realize how heart broke thespius would probably be if click clack died as a human and never became#a god and he was like gone. gods this got depressing to think about. he would probably devastated for years after that’s if he even recovers#afterwards#alright done ranting in tags. gotta go squeal at some Lovestory fanart to cheer me up again
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i dont know if i can finish this movie
#just abt 27 min into 1hr45#and things appear to be peaking for the main character. which means#its only gonna go downhill from here (its a horror movie)#i dont know that technically tagalog is my first language as i (no longer?) speak it#but you know how they say things like media/literature are more embarrassing/vulnerable in ur first language#yeah. i would be significantly further into this movie if i didnt keep pausing it arhgdfbjgv#UNPROFESSIONAL. HER DIRECT SUPERVISOR IS HITTING ON HER AT WORK? (shes clocking out but still)#actually wait. i realise that he was the supervising TRAINER#so given that shes now an employee... maybe he asked her out specifically because hes no longer her direct supervisor?#okkkkk i take it back. still shes gotta be like twice his age???#andddd thats gotta be a ghost. ok#or like. idk is there an aswang equivalent to a vampire needing to be invited#is that why its called sunod???#well actually maybe that doesnt make sense. ive been translating that as 'follow' in my head#but it also means 'next'?#NEVERMIND I TAKE IT BACK AGAIN. HES STILL HER SUPERVISOR#and why is she answering her phone on the work floor!#<- has only ever worked secure settings. maybe this is normal idk#..........................he is now giving her an advance against company policy.#-_-.............................................................................. hes physically coming on to her#OH FUCK she just slapped him.#oh fuck she just kneed him in the balls. oh that job is gone#she wasnt immediately fired and hes acting normal at the weekly meeting.........................................#oh shit . her daughter (or whatever thing is possessing/replacing her) overheard. this guy is gonna die lol
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me, watching chongming stocks go up: it's all coming together
#listen if this is going to be the first ''eye candy'' ship i get into well it's joever but its cute + oh well gotta make my two faves kiss#generally prefer chong.ming though over ming.yun because i don't like clashing ship names and we alr got a ming.yun village#i'm also haunted by that one post i made about xing.yun's name being a pun and ming.yun being a pun just reminds me of that#but most importantly chong.ming follows the ship name convention of first half of 1st chara's name x 2nd half of 2nd chara's#name and i think that's nice because i'm a stickler#ming.yun is 2nd half of name x 2nd half of name and ghsdkfhgij im nitpicky LMAO#it also doesn't clash with anything currently which i like because again i'm just pedantic with these things#chongming#why am i being such a hater towards a ship i like? it's called keeping myself humble- JKJKJKJK#if they come out and have no interaction well i guess i'll put on a clown hat and keep on shipping idk </3 my two faves.... please though#ramblings!
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My english lyrics for Triage woo! (They're written out under the cut, I just wanted to share my lil chart lol)
Though I'm too indecisive to officially label this as my favorite song, it's had the strongest emotional impact on me by far. It holds a special place in my heart, I definitely wanted to write lyrics for it first! I'll leave all my rambling process commentary in the tags, but I was so happy with how it came out!!
All of those cards of promise thrown down carelessly,
This must be retribution for all I've taken endlessly.
If that were the case, it should have been fate for me to die.
That's the truth, given my crime, so why--?
No, I can't take it, to this cruel joke I'll submit. You
don't know, you can't know, but I'm ready to admit:
Killing for them, extracting for them, won't change the fact they're dead.
I need someone to tag me as RED.
It makes me sick (sick), it's too unpleasant. Sick (sick)
Is this punishment? What do you mean I'm INNOCENT?
I see, the world is cruel and leaves you on your own.
(I can't die) to atone. (I can't love) alone.
I can't be saved (saved), you've nothing to give. Saved (saved)
But what if I lived? Why else would you choose to forgive?
I see, there's lives to save so let's be sensible.
Right now, you need me, (I can be) indispensable.
Tilt to and fro, I know the scales should land on GUILTY for me.
Tilt fro and to, it's INNOCENT that they choose.
They cry (x4) out in pain, I can hear them. There's no one else, to guard their health,
My mission is offering help.
All of those cards of promise thrown down carelessly,
This must be retribution for all I've taken endlessly.
So if that's the case, then it must be fate to make amends,
Extract that fang before we meet the end.
It makes me sick (sick), it's too unpleasant. Sick (sick)
Is this punishment? What do you mean I'm INNOCENT?
I see, the world is cruel, but what I've realized is
(Now I want) to be INNOCENT. (Now I want) to live.
It makes me sick (sick), This wasn't my plan, hostages at my command.
Their future resting in my hands
I see, there's lives to save so let's be sensible.
Right now, please save me, (I will be) indispensable.
Maybe this was meant to be -- oh -- or maybe neither of us can know
There's lives to save so let's be sensible.
Right now, please save me, (I will be) indispensable.
---
I mentioned earlier that I always get annoyed with myself when people post translyrics and I can't figure out the rhythm they were going for, so here's a recording of me singing, but I'm bad at it! It's just for fun! Like a rough draft for music! Because the only thing worse than people hearing my voice is people thinking I can't count syllables!
#milgram#shidou kirisaki#lyrics#im real happy with how they came out :))#when i first got into milgram i started writing tear drop lyrics but got discouraged#(ill be revisiting them next but) it was so fun to work with this song!#i love the sound of it and had a great time creating my version#i wanted his repeated lines in the refrain to have a punch to them#and was SO satisfied giving the doctor 'sick' and 'saved' as his focus words#the mention of 'throw down' wasnt originally intended but it fit so well i just had to keep it asdfsd#i looked up an internet translation for 'Shinenai sentaku o ikenai ai o' because the official english line confused me#and it gave me 'i cant die. i cant go. i cant love.' and i loved that more than the official translation actually#really the only word that doesnt flow quite like id want is 'punishment' but the meaning/rhyme made me happy so i kept it haha#nothing can replace the sound satisfaction 'Yurayura tenbin yurusa naide hoshii noni/Yureteru yurushite hoshii to' gives me tho -_-#and i wanted a more open-mouth sound when he sings 'dattaka' the second time -- i absolutely love how he draws it out#but had to settle for what i could make work 🤷♀️#we are spitting in the face of cringe culture and posting my voice!!#some writers are okay if their complete vision doesnt make it across to the audience but Not Me#i gotta show my whole vision and draft 😂#oh and excuse his voicemail message LMAO#i love shidou with all my heart but i have to tease him about shoving his profession in our face every chance he gets#(did we ever get a translation for that btw?)#but yeah im always preaching to do arts and things youre bad at just because theyre fun so i figured id take my own advice#because it was a lot of fun to sing :3#and i dont know how to word this in the fans-having-collaborative-fun way and not a pretentious way#but if any of the milgram pals who like singing want to cover it hmu :D
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IS IT MY IMAGINATION OR IS THIS A REALLY HOMOEROTIC CONVERSATION IM WATCHING. I THINK THERES QUEERCODING GOING ON HERE AND NOT IN A FUN WAY. IM SCARED
#i think. uhm. i think richard thinks he's been invited over for dinner in a gay way. he said 'we do live well' in refernece to luke living#alone & being divorced like 'WE'???? and he shows up & lukes still in his bathrobe and he's like 'oh i'll go change' and richard says no it#s a lovely robe keep it on??? and he?? does??????? huh???????????? and he like reached for his chest & they keep saying things#that could be homoerotic if you look at it from a certain angle im scared#for context i dont think this a show that would end with they two guys falling in love yknow#ANYWAYS#i really gotta know whats gonna happen but oh god
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just a little behind the scenes but I ran the numbers and found I need to be making 420 book sales in order for my comic to be making a profit <3 hehehe funny weed number
#this is w me selling it at 12.50#I’ve decided to keep it at this price for the first issue but going forward def increasing to 15$.. 😔🫶#sorry gang#my goal then becomes 350 book sales#this is w me accurately representing my work as me getting paid 30$ for each hour I put in#if I give myself only minimum wage then it’s 175-210 in sales!#ohhhh I believe I believe that one day I can reach this goal amen 🥺🙏#nuggyy txt#a little behind the scenes for you all I guess bahaha#I hope it’s not in bad taste for me to be talking so openly about this#but oh well#im a freelancer I gotta be honest w my audience 😭😭😭
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what’s a girl gotta do to make it less dead on here?? who do i gotta pay or give this cooch or tongue to??
#i’m not even kidding#i need yall to go back to not having a life and taking up space in my space#pleaseeeee#i miss my besties#i miss thirsting and carrying on and new fics dropping every day#this place sucks now and honestly it’s not just readers or tiktok’s fault like we all gotta take the blame for not interacting like before#not saying everyone is like this but the morale is so declined on here and we just…let it keep going down by pointing fingers#ily all and i’m not pointing fingers cause i’m looking inward too#i just want this place to be fun again ugh#ima delete this in .3 seconds but oh well#here laur goes again..
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eeeeeeee !!! i'm finally doing the fucking thing >:)) (I'm using 16g, 1/4" aluminum rings for anyone curious!)
#gotta work on the tension of the pliers bc i keep leaving indents in them#but oh well. the price you pay for using aluminum rings ig#either way!! finally doing the thing!#chainmail#maille#adventures in maille#<- will be my tag going forward for this craft :)#knightcore#knights#mine
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hate hate hate the feeling of turning in a part of an assignment and being hella embarrased abt how it is :3 like, feeling someone’s just gonna email me like ”hey?? what the fuck ??? what are u doing here this is garbage” like yeah dude i dont know what to tell you, things did not go well this week
#doing one that’s like a bigger thing but has weekly deadlines#and this week hasn’t been good for that so it’s like very fucking pathetic of how little I got done#and it’s all basically shit anyways like i know it doesn’t work and won’t work with the way I’m going about it#also I’m only submitting the previous version bc i don’t even fuckin know what’s going on with this current one#like the code’s all bad and all over the place and I have no clue where i’m trying to go with it#so it’s like i basically didn’t get shit done this week#only made myself more confused#i need to take a step back and like really fuckin think what I’m going to do with this bc it’ll just get worse if I just keep trying to go#with this shitty thing i have on my hands rn#and also im like over an hour late already bc gotta write a weekly report and idk what the fuck to say like#’’oops sorry dude it’s shit rn i have no clue what’s going on but also dont have anything i could ask help with bc im too confused so it’s#just uhh this thing now; a mess <3’’#the way i’ve been handling this course like ?? uh oh will i ever have the audacity to step a foot to my campus ever again lol#yes im now writing this to procrastinate writing that weekly report thing#ughhh yes im hella positive rn all is shit#(also there was parliamentary election today and it didn’t end well so that might be why everything feels 5x more shitty rn)#april 2023#2023
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the chosen is the only boycott i've been tempted to break. obviously i'm not going to but MAN three episodes in and apparently simon peter gets renamed and the sons of thunder are being The Sons Of Thunder about it but i guess that's kind of the point of boycotts you can't only do it with stuff you don't care for
#🧅#LIKE NOT EVEN WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS. i found out taika signed the biden letter and i was like cool i dont even care im not watching the#new season. and out of ALL THINGS. the JESUS SHOW. it's at least a little comedic#i suppose it plays into it that i know the majority of its viewers are not going to care and are goitt#to keep watching it and lbr the boycott alone is not going to get us anywhere with this show simply because its audience Does Not Care#buuuut yknow. we still gotta try.#that doesn't give us a free pass to just be like oh well ! and do nothing about it
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