#oh this could be so badly misconstrued

[twothpaste]

the fucked up thing about kumatora in mother 3 is that the game gives her pretty much no opportunity to grieve the loss of her family. paradoxically, the compelling thing about kumatora in mother 3 is, oh, fucking god, she does not take any opportunities to grieve the loss of her family. it's one of those gameplay-story-segregation things, where you can guess the devs didn't have time to flesh out her feelings on screen, or it would've derailed the pacing somewhat. maybe they straight up did her dirty and didn't notice or care to develop it. or maybe, in true mother game fashion, they left it open ended intentionally, so as not to tread on the toes of player interpretation. but good lord, thinkin about this teenager going through exactly what lucas did, and deliberately refusing to deal with it - not yet, at least - is just heartwrenching for me.

going her whole life believing her immortal parental figures would outlive her, only for fate to come crashing down so suddenly? world-ending stakes on the line, with no chance to rest? having to stay strong and "tough it out" for her newly found family's sake?? the weight on this kid's shoulders is immense, and i can't presume she was at all prepared for any of it. there's probably some sad horrible parallel with claus in there somewhere. what's the difference between tryin to muscle through grief out of childish misconstrued fear, vs doing it out of a selfess sense of duty? is there any? could it break her just as badly, if she ain't careful? i like to imagine a postgame kuma would receive all the support she needs, but man, at that point, does she even know how to accept it?

[miiilowo]

I forgot William could juggle omg. Mentally adding that to my silly facts about him.

Sorry for so many asks its like 1am and I'm just like so feral about your interpretation of William. You are are so correct about him all the time and hes such a silly little guy

How do you think William went about the murders? Did he try to be sorta detached from it or did he amp up the villian persona?

Do you imagine the 5 missing children all were killed in one day or over the course of a week? Canon seems to support both options a bit I think , but more leaning towards all at once I think, it's been a bit since I checked

How many murders did your William commit? That tends to vary alot depending on what theories and who you ask.

Oooh how'd he go about luring them? Was it just a simple "hey I have a surprise for you come follow me" or did he gain their trust longer than that or did the SL animatronics do all the work for him. Did he just target random kids or did he have a method for picking them. Speaking of, did he plan at all which animatronics they were going to possess?

How'd he avoid getting caught? Did he?

Hmm lots of murders questions let's go off topic. If he had to own a pet what animal would he prefer. Like he def LOVES rabbits. But hmm, they like, need more work and attention than a cat. And William doesn't seem like he'd be great at that

As a children's entertainer, did he often try to throw fun birthday parties for his kids? Oh hmm, why was Evan having his party at Fredbear's if he's so scared of animatronics? Bc he obviously does care about Evan. Ive personally always interpreted that as like, William being too busy + recovering from the springlocks to like, plan something proper but there's honestly so many ways you could think of the why, so I'd love to hear your interpretation!

HEGHENEGEHEEGEHEHE EHEHEEHE HEGEHE <- likes thinking about the murders a normal amount <- lie <- fraud <- misconstruance <- trickery

i .okay so i.ok. Ok. so. ok. So. Okay. S

i am personally fond of making him as unhinged as possible in that regard. if im going to be obsessed with a cartoonish murderer im going to want him to get fucking silly with it alright im not gonna make him do some boring shit like sedating his victims before killing them or something <- targeted toward the novels

there is a LOOOOOOOT of inconsistency in "canon" sources. (canon in quotations because anything aside from the books is dubiously canon. half of the time i feel like im in the warrior cats fandom again with how people cannot AGREE ON ANYTHING OR REMEMBER INFORMATION) it makes sense for it to be done tastefully considering this is kind of a sensitive topic, being. murder. and all. theres less details about it. however, i have issues and problems and need to know everything about him or else ill DIE. BADLY

while the idea of him doing them all at once has been the agreed upon thing for...pretty much the past eight and a half years, i find the idea of them being one at a time more interesting. going about it strategically and with some level of premeditation makes for good contrast with charlies murder, which was very clearly a crime of passion. by creating more stark contrast between these events, it makes charlies death feel more significant, generally more fucked up, and more ... Out of character, for william. It makes it feel like it really MEANT something, if everyone else's deaths were executed in a way that really shows the difference in motivation/intent :3

i personally think that charlie was the first death, and was motivated by williams envy & resentment regarding henry since shes his daughter. Very heat of the moment, fueled by hatred for her father; swift, i imagine. probably just had a pocket knife in his car or something. i think this event is what makes william realize he enjoys killing; as much as i'd like to paint him in the most pathetic light possible, i can't imagine hed kill children for the sake of feeling powerful. obliterating charlie out of obsessive gay jealousy obviously probably made him feel like he had power over henry, which im sure he adored, but i generally think hes in it for something else.

I refuse to believe anything but the idea that he loves the thrill of it. I make note of this because of how he reacts to being springlocked in the novels, where he was sort of drunk on the pain, and was having far too much fun with it. That, and because he's an entertainer, a performer, he probably enjoys excitement quite a lot. He loves big reveals, he loves drama, he loves reactions! I think that can be applied to the murders as well :3 I've said all this, while leaving out my best supporting piece of evidence, being that, in canon, for Cassidy's death, he kidnapped her and beat her to death. With a shovel. So. Seems a bit over the top. To Me. I dont know. Like if he wasnt. Having fun with it then. Yknow.

My favorite favorite favorite thing about afton is how he just sort of sloooooowly unraveled over time. And even when he DID snap, there was sort of a gradual worsening as time went on; I dont think he WANTED to like killing, but he did! And eventually, he gave in to that desire to get as violent as possible. He stopped caring, and he started to enjoy it, instead of pushing it away.

Its also important to note I do think there was only one missing childrens incident. While I wouldnt put it past william to do it twice just to shut down multiple freddys locations out of spite, there isnt really a lot of evidence to suggest that he killed at the fnaf 2 location; everything that goes on there can be explained by other means we already have.

So, Susie goes first!!!!!!! By this point, I firmly believe that Elizabeth has already died, charlie has obviously already died, and Henry has forbade William from ever setting foot on the premises ever again, but he gets away with it by wearing the spring bonnie suit. Killed her dog, apparently. Prick. Anyways, chica/susie states that she was the first to go and has apparently 'seen everything'. I don't take this as necessarily meaning that he did everything at once, especially since we know he Fucking Kidnapped Cassidy, but i do believe all of them were dragged into that saferoom at some point. oh, yeah, i also think its the saferoom because

not on the cameras

employees only really go in there if theyre literally bleeding out from the springlock suits, and the suits were decommissioned when william used them, meaning no employee would have ANY reason to be in the safe room. the phone guy states the spring bonnie animatronic was 'noticeably moved', then reminds people they arent supposed to be used, which supports me thinking william used the suits when employees werent supposed to use them + means nobody regularly fucks with the suits that ARE in there in the first place if this is a notable event he has to point out

animatronics dont know it exists. not in their programming. what are they gonna do, tell his fucking mom

i dont know why im explaining why the saferoom would be the best option i just see that nobody seems to agree on this for some reason

easier to do it in a room nobody can access rather than dragging them outside while theyre alive and/or concious

makes sense for him to know all this since he used to own the franchise

anyway, he probably didn't have too much trouble getting them back there since he had the suit on, but he also knows what hes doing in general. even if he werent wearing the suit i dont doubt he'd have been able to pull it off. hes a childrens entertainer. probably told them he had candy or cake for them, or some sort of surprise, maybe lied to them and said their mom or dad was in trouble and they needed to follow him, that kind of thing, standard fuckin. kidnapping behavior i guess. as for selecting the victims, picking kids who were kindof off by themselves doing their own thing makes the most sense. i imagine thats the only thought he put into it

while id LOVE for each death to be as bloody as possible, im not sure william could really afford that, given the setting he was in. hard to get too messy when youre in a public establishment; even if it was unlikely anyone would ever come into the saferoom, its probably better to make cleaning up the evidence a relatively easy process. i really. really really really like the idea of him using an axe for some reason? i know it was popularized because of the die in a fire music video, and would not be pertaining to how he killed anybody, but im attached to it got DAMNIT. im kind of contradicting myself because axe murdering is like an inherently messy process but yknow. maybe that was just one of em. it doesnt seem outlandish to me that there could be an axe in the saferoom- Like a fireaxe, yknow? i can imagine him having a knife knocked out of his hands, panicking and grabbing that. thats fun. i like that one

actual timeframe though. ummmmm. definitely not all in one day, but having them be throughout a week seems too long. having kids go missing in One Place over the course of a WEEK feels like it would be giving the place ample time to get shut down briefly. i give him 3 days ABSOLUTE maximum. maybe two.

initially i think he wanted the sister location animatronics to do the work for him, but after liz dies he doesnt wanna deal with them because. grief, and after killing charlie he processes that he doesnt mind getting his hands dirty i guess. so theres that. the sister location animatronics never really got the chance to function how he wanted them to because circus babys pizza world never opened

as for how he didnt get CAUGHT, there just...Wasnt enough evidence to convict him. DNA testing was introduced in 1986, one year after the murders occurred, and i suppose any crime scenes wouldve been wiped clean by the time forensics couldve been involved. It's definitely a situation where a lot of people just KNEW he did it, but it fell flat in a court of law- Henry, of course, would be one of those people who knew. That, and the fact fazbear ent is very scummy when it comes to those sort of things, prioritizing their brand over individual people. Even if Henry knew william did it, he'd probably want to crack down on people continuing to pursue his arrest; itd be bad for the company, after all! having their name attached to this forever? having one of their FOUNDERS attached to it forever? absolutely not. hed know there was no way theyd imprison william, and dragging the ordeal out would just cause damage to the label. henry may be better than william, but he is not a beacon of all that is right and good in the world. remember this forever

anyways um! im a firm believer in the idea he'd have a bunny. i can understand where ur coming from w the 'theyd be too much work to take care of' sentiment, but he had 3 kids, and a bunny is still less work than 3 kids. admittedly, he hated one of them and the other two died, but YKNOW its not like hes a complete stranger to taking care of things. michael lasted a long time. technically was only tangentially williams fault he died. cat would be good too

i do think he'd probably want to plan things for the kids as well, which is demonstrated by evans birthday party. i think at this point in the timeline he was just very, very caught up in his work, as shown by him watching them remotely through the camera system in his house + talking to evan via the fredbear plushie. so generally i agree w you on that, i dont have much to add :]

[tobiasdrake]

I'm a terrible human being but at least we're making our way through the island.

You know, I wasn't sure about Windmill Shuriken but it's growing on me.

It's a killer traversal tool as well as a potent weapon in its own right.

Getting a definite Boss Room Ahead vibe from this setup. Tiki Shopkeeper, you have anything to say about what I'm about to face?

Nothing?

Huh. Maybe I misread the--

Okay, fuck you too, I guess! I can't believe this! I rely on her to give me useful information about bosses! What a fucking prick.

Maybe she just. Like. Doesn't do that in this timeline or something. Or she's mad. Can't imagine what I could have said to piss off Tiki Shopkeeper that badly, though.

Whatever. I slew the Dweller of Strife singlehandedly; At least, that's how I'm choosing to remember it. I can manage this!

These barely even count as attacks. Honestly, it's like you want to face the wrath of my ultimate technique:

Your harmless little tiki heads are NO MATCH for an endless barrage of twirly-doos! I am the twirly-doo champion, and I'm going to do pirouettes on your face until you're nothing but a pile of kindling! What do you say about THAT, huh!?

....

....

....

(;° ロ°)

OH FUCK ME

Okay. So. In my haste for triumph and glory, I. Uh. May. Have. Misconstrued your ritualistic totem levitations as... something that they was not.

I am a big enough man to admit when a misunderstanding has taken place and a tragic mistake has been committed. You're right. It's pretty clear where the fault for this lies.

Tiki Shopkeeper. It's Tiki Shopkeeper's fault. She... She, uh.... She said....

...nothing. She said absolutely nothing about an upcoming Boss Fight. Because no Boss Fight was upcoming.

...I... assaulted and batteried you, and destroyed your personal property... for absolutely no reason at all.

...

Hold up, what was that about a volcano erupting?

Barrel Thyme, that's what that smell was! Thanks, pal. So the plan is to fuck him up again, save the Phobekins, and then enjoy a pleasant vacation on whatever mysterious island this place is.

Glad there's no hard feelings, pal. I'd hate for a small misunderstanding like this to get in the way of us becoming the best of pals!

I'm so glad they're taking it well. I like to think that I'm a pretty great guy once you get to know me. Like an acquired taste! And I wouldn't want them to miss out on the opportunity.

Anyways... apparently this island has a volcano. We should take a look at the map and make sure we have a good idea of where we're going.

Alright. Voodkin Island's not as big as I thought it'd be. So if Bartleby's plan is to jump me at the ritual then he should be right around the rim of the....

...of the....

Hold up.

Is this Kiln Mountain!? This super looks like the volcano where the great continental bread loaf was baked.

That's not what he called it. The hint is in its utility: That it's a kiln. But I'm still convinced that this is the same mountain.

...so does your shop exist in a parallel reality Tower of Time, or is there only one Tower of Time and we're just in a different room next door to Arcane Shopkeeper's room?

Because I could believe either.

[nightslain]

@lovesake​ said: i remember what you said last night || FEARLESS

             “I worry that I did not say quite what I meant. I haven’t been altogether in my right mind for...quite some time. Forgive me that, won’t you?” The king’s smile is tiredly sweet when he turns to meet the other man’s gaze. Sorrow settles somewhere with fondness in the dawn-blue of the Belmont’s eyes, nostalgia softening his timeless face as he looks the dhampir round and through. All his angles and planes familiar, all of them harkening back to a man long dead. All of them too so very unique. All of them aching Leon’s heart with a feeling that is oh so bittersweet. 

                “I will tell you that I meant it fondly,” he ventures softly, the wine in hand set aside when his stomach turns too much to welcome it, “you are the very image of your father as I remember him. But what I meant to say is you are the very image of what was best in him. What was bright, what was good. Not what he became. You remind me very much of his first wife too. For as much as I mourn them still, to see you here makes me...happy.”

                 Laughter warms Leon’s voice, even brightens his melancholy eyes with some quiet kind of joy as he glances into the roaring gold of the hearth. “And for all I have suffered, I am glad that because of it, I were able to meet you. You don’t know how much I hoped that I would when I heard that there was a son.”

[actuallysaiyan]

Kinktober Day 19: Orgasm Denial(My Girl)

warnings/kinks: smut, cunnilingus, slight bondage, use of jutsu to do said bondage, kissing, mentions of smoking and drinking. pairings: Shikamaru Nara x Fem!Reader word count: 1k tag list: @beneathstarryskies, @ricflairdrip20, @witchofcustom, @loki-love, @xailem, @the-eternal-sunflower

It was just something you two liked to do. After the war, the two of you grew even closer together. You used to smoke with him to get over the trauma of all the shit that happened to the two of you. You’d often go to his place to spend the night. Neither of you could fall asleep without having nightmares, so you’d spend the night drinking, smoking and fucking. It just became a little ritual. After a while, you were pretty much just living there with him.

Tonight, you are feeling particularly frisky. You can’t wait to just spend the evening with Shikamaru. He really was becoming someone special for you, and tonight you wanted to do something fun together. You know he’s been stressed about his job lately, so you want to treat him to something special. When he comes home, you’re already sitting on the bed wearing only his flak jacket. 

“Oh, is this the little game you want to play?” Shikamaru asks, sitting on the bed next to you. His hands come up to cup your breasts.

“I wanted you to come home to something sexy,”

He smirks at you. You’re so adorable, trying so hard to impress him. Little do you know that you completely own this man, body and soul. He’d do absolutely anything for you. He always wants to spoil his little princess. But it turns him on completely that you want to spoil him right now. So he settles against the pillows and grabs his pack of cigarettes. He lights one up and then turns to you.

“Undress me,” he commands. Your panties grow wetter at the words that came out of his mouth, so firm and strict.

You do as he says, “Of course, daddy.”

The smirk on his face grows. Shikamaru has trained you so well, and you always know how to get into your role so easily. You get into your subspace so quickly. It’s so cute how badly you want to impress him. It just makes him even harder. But tonight, he wants to hear you beg for it. He wants you to squirm and wiggle around as he edges you.

Your hands are quick to undress him completely. Your eyes widen at his beautiful body. You know he takes extra care of himself, even though he can be quite lazy a lot of the time. You reach out to touch him, but he playfully slaps your hand away.

“Not yet, baby. First, I need to do something,”

Shikamaru guides you to lay on your back, and you do as he wants. Then he spreads your legs. Before you know it, he is performing his shadow jutsu, and it’s holding you apart just how he needs you to be. His cock is harder than it has been in so long, and it’s just leaking all over his fist as he lazily strokes himself.

“You’re a good girl, right?”

You nod your head eagerly, “yes! Yes I am!”

He spanks your thigh playfully, and you wiggle for more stimulation. “Baby, don’t lie to daddy.”

You swallow hard and your brain is working a mile a minute to try and think back on anything you did in the last little bit that could be misconstrued as misbehaving in Shikamaru’s opinion. You can only think of one thing, and it’s when you decided to go out drinking with the girls the other night. When you dressed in that cute little dress, and Shika found out and it made him so mad.

“I think you like to be a brat,” Shikamaru says in a smug tone. “I better teach you a lesson,”

You feel the shadow jutsu working to pull your legs apart even more. You whine as you feel him come closer and his breath hits your twitching pussy. Shikamaru chuckles darkly at your demeanor right now. It’s honestly so sexy to watch you squirm to get just a little more stimulation. He knows he’s going to have so much fun with this.

His tongue slides between your folds, and you whine as he begins lapping at you like a wild man, starved for his final meal. You want to reach down and tug on his hair, but the shadow jutsu is too quick for you and he’s holding your wrists down to the mattress. You whine at the sudden feeling of being completely bound to the bed, but it certainly heightens your experience. You feel your little hole dribbling more slick than before.

“Fuck,” Shikamaru moans. “You’re such a needy girl.”

You mewl softly, “Please, Shika. Please please,”

This turns him on like nothing else. The way you sound when you whine and beg and plead. He could have you panting in no time. Just a pathetic little thing, so desperate to cum. He loves the thought of that. He wants you to be at his complete mercy. You’re almost there now, you just need to be teased a little more.

Shikamaru moans as he lets one of his fingers slip into you. You’re tight, wet and warm and he would enjoy fucking you if he was going to abandon this little activity. But he’s determined now to make you beg to get fucked. Then he leans in once again, and his lips wrap around your little swollen nub. You let out the sweetest whine as he sucks on your clit. Your eyes roll back in your head as he begins curling his fingers on your sweet spot. 

“Shika,” you try to warn him. But you worry you won’t be able to get the words out in time.

“I know, baby. I know.”

You feel the first few waves, but it’s quickly dissipating as soon as Shikamaru pulls away completely from you. You whine and try to rub your thighs together, but you can’t due to the shadow jutsu still holding your legs apart. Your clit throbs a few times, but your orgasm dies down completely. You’re so frustrated right now. You wanted to cum so fucking badly.

“If you apologize for the other night,” Shika says as he leans in to kiss your clit. “I might just let you cum.”

[the-king-andthe-lionheart]

People really like misconstruing who Ned is, and Ned indeed is not “too nice for his own good”.  He is blunt to the point of rudeness, he doesn’t care if what he says angers people, he has a temper, he’s killed people with his own hands, and he indeed has the wolf blood.  This is their so-called Ned:

Ned Stark dismounted in a fury. "A brothel," he said as he seized Littlefinger by the shoulder and spun him around. "You've brought me all this way to take me to a brothel."

"Your wife is inside," Littlefinger said.

It was the final insult. "Brandon was too kind to you," Ned said as he slammed the small man back against a wall and shoved his dagger up under the little pointed chin beard. (Eddard IV AGOT)

He physically attacks Littlefinger with a knife to the throat for the mere suggestion that Littlefinger might be calling Catelyn a whore.

Robert flushed. "Barra," he grumbled. "Is that supposed to please me? Damn the girl. I thought she had more sense."

"She cannot be more than fifteen, and a whore, and you thought she had sense?" Ned said, incredulous. His leg was beginning to pain him sorely. It was hard to keep his temper. "The fool child is in love with you, Robert." (Eddard X AGOT)

"Your Grace, I never knew you to fear Rhaegar." Ned fought to keep the scorn out of his voice, and failed. "Have the years so unmanned you that you tremble at the shadow of an unborn child?"

Robert purpled. "No more, Ned," he warned, pointing. "Not another word. Have you forgotten who is king here?"

"No, Your Grace," Ned replied. "Have you?"

"Enough!" the king bellowed. "I am sick of talk. I'll be done with this, or be damned. What say you all?" (Eddard VIII AGOT)

He is defiant, blunt and speaks his mind, even going so far as to anger the king and question his manhood.

He damned them all: Littlefinger, Janos Slynt and his gold cloaks, the queen, the Kingslayer, Pycelle and Varys and Ser Barristan, even Lord Renly, Robert's own blood, who had run when he was needed most. Yet in the end he blamed himself. "Fool," he cried to the darkness, "thrice-damned blind fool." (Eddard XV, AGOT)

In the black cells he makes his own list of people who he wants to see have bloody endings.

"Ser Jorah is now in Pentos, anxious to earn a royal pardon that would allow him to return from exile," Robert explained. "Lord Varys makes good use of him."

"So the slaver has become a spy," Ned said with distaste. He handed the letter back. "I would rather he become a corpse." (Eddard II AGOT)

His father took off the man's head with a single sure stroke. Blood sprayed out across the snow, as red as summerwine. One of the horses reared and had to be restrained to keep from bolting. Bran could not take his eyes off the blood. The snows around the stump drank it eagerly, reddening as he watched.

The head bounced off a thick root and rolled. (Bran I AGOT)

Ned executes criminals, and he wants Jorah Mormont’s head so badly for breaking the law that the mere mention of him boils Ned’s blood.

Imagine Sansa doing any of this.  Oh, that’s right she never would because she does not take after Ned.  They have a few similarities and parallels, but they are not remotely alike.  Arya may have commonalities and parallels with Catelyn, but Arya has way more similarities and parallels with Ned than Sansa does.  But really, all of this boils down to one thing:  They think that Sansa having “the most” parallels with Ned means she will be QitN at the end of the books, so they force these two characters to be who they aren’t to force parallels that don’t exist and don’t even mean anything.  Suffice it to say if any parallels or similarities Ned shares with his children are the most significant in determining who will rule Winterfell in the end, I think the most important ones are the ones in which the children abide by Ned’s teachings the most and his moral code, and that’s definitely not Sansa who never recalls Ned’s lessons and betrayed her father while her father confessed to a crime he didn’t really commit in order to protect her.  LOL it’s also funny how so many people in this fandom condemn Ned for being a stupid politician, yet they claim Sansa is mini-Ned while declaring she’s the smartest politician.  It’s like they can’t make up their minds or something, *rolls eyes*

Not only is the "Arya = Catelyn and Sansa = Ned" belief factually inaccurate, it's clearly meant to bash Arya and Cat. These people aren't even hiding it anymore:

As if Arya wasn't one of the kindest characters in the series who wants to protect and help others at her own detriment (far more kind than her classiest, abelist, and misogynistic sister). But nope, she bites at any inconvenience. She must have bitten many people while struggling to survive on the streets of King’s Landing and when she was beaten brutally by Lannister men in the Riverlands and forced to perform slave labor in horrific living conditions and when she was struggling to find food for herself and her friends as she tried to navigate her way to Riverrun, putting herself in more danger with more work, and when she was captured and being abused by the Hound whose wounds she tended. So many, many bites...

[lickmeleclerc]

I wanna be just a little bit more than friends with Tom. *Sadness has entered the chat*

Moood tho & this instantly made me think of Friends by Ed Sheehan

“No we’re not friends, Nor have we ever been.”

Tom and Y/n from the first time they met to now have always seem too good of friends. Maybe it was how instantly they clicked it could have been misconstrued to love at first sight. But when anyone would ask, both would respond in unison “we’re just, friends.” The eye contact the two would hold after that statement came off peculiar but how convinced they had made themselves with being “friends.” Seem to fool everyone else. Tom would miss Y/n on the cheek in hellos and goodbyes. Y/n would fall asleep on Tom with her head in his lap as they watched a movie. Tom would take Y/n to all his red carpet events, evening offering to buy her a new dress or shoes. Even if Y/n declined Tom would always show with flowers.

“We just try to keep those secrets in a lie And if they find out, will it all go wrong. And heaven knows no one wants it to.”

After a particularly hard day Tom came seeking comfort from Y/n. Little did he know as his gaze fell to the window by the front door she’d be sat with another guy on the couch, almost in identical spots as her and Tom have sat together so many times. Tom felt his breath catch as he observed the scene before him. He felt cheated, but Tom would have no reason to feel that way would he now. “We’re just friends.” He spoke softly to himself as he retreated back to his flat.

“Tom what’s gotten into you?” Y/n asked after catching up to her best friend who decided to not hear her calls once she’d spotted him walking past the local park.

“Nothing what do you mean?” He questioned her back. He wanted to be angry but he knew he had no ground to hold on why. He felt an uncomfortable feeling in his chest, in his heart.

“You’ve barley talked me all week. I-I miss you.” Y/n said the words felt foreign. Could she say that to a friend? Of course so why do those words make her cheeks red and she has to look at the ground awaiting a reaction.

“Y/n friends sometimes have gaps. I’m just busy.” Tom stated and walked off. Y/n turned not giving Tom a chance to catch her eyes, as they were filling with tears.

“But your eyes will lead me straight back home”

Tom knocks repeatedly at your familiar door, usually he wouldn’t knock though, he’d walk right in and take his spot in the couch.

“Hey Tom.” Y/n answered instantly regretting it though, she wanted to be angry, she wanted to show that he hurt her feelings. But something about those eyes. His eyes are so honest. She could see the apology at first glance, he eyebrows furrowed and pulled down in sadness, in regret. Tom took a deep breath before speaking.

“I’m sorry Y/n, I was such a jerk the other day. I-I just you didn’t tell me you were dating and I came by and saw him and I just, I don’t know why I reacted that way. But a big jerk and a horrible friend. Can I make it up to you?” As Tom spoke all he could cling to was hope she’d take his “terrible friend.” As a hint that he’d rather be more. Y/n smiled softly and hugged Tom. Tom placed one hand on the back of her head, feeling her soft hair in his palm. The other across her back. Y/n’s face nuzzled nicely in the crook of his neck inhaling his cologne. Tom loved this feeling, it’s a moment in time where he can imagine, imagine that Y/n is more than a friend. That she is his and he is hers.

“I wasn’t on a date, that was my cousin he was in town his boyfriend just graduated.” Y/n laughed after emphasize “boyfriend” and squeezing Tom a little tighter. The smile on Tom’s face couldn’t be broken after hearing that news

“if you know me like I know you. You should love me, you should know. That friends just sleep in another bed. And friends don't treat me like you do”

“Alright thanks everyone for joining my live! We’ll chat soon yeah.” Tom spoke to his phone as it propped up by some books and a tissue box, Y/n waved by before Tom ended the live.

“That was so fun.” Y/n laughed as she grabbed the remote to play something on the TV. Tom nodded and opened up Twitter to see if the reaction was as good as Y/n’s. He saw gifs, screen shots, and text posts all about how cute himself and Y/n were. About himself and his best friend. He sighed and locked his phone, the fans don’t even know how he wants that to be true. One comment kept replaying in his mind though “how does Y/n not see the way he looks at her?” Tom took a moment to admire Y/n while she scrolled through options of what to put on. How her hair fell across her face, how her lips looked when she was focused. How she’d wiggle her nose when she had a sniffle. Friends don’t pick up on that stuff.

“Why don’t you stay the night.” Tom spoke without thinking he stayed casual not to spook Y/n. She was badly hiding the excitement in her voice.

“Okay.” She said with smile before glancing back to the TV. When bedtime approached and they both climbed into Tom’s bed he questioned rather he should wrap his arms around her waits and pull her close to him, a thought he’d had many times. He refused and turn his back to his friend as he drifted to sleep.

“And friends shouldn't kiss me like you do. And I know that there's a limit to everything. But my friends won't love me like you. No, my friends won't love me like you. Oh my friends will never love me like you”

“I can’t believe you won a Grammy tonight Tom, I’m so proud of you. You must be so proud of yourself.” Y/n was glowing of excitement. Tom blushed at her words and mumbled a thank you, his hand on her lower back.

“Thank you for being my date.” Tom said. Y/n laugh as they have used this joke before but when Tom wasn’t laughing she looked up to meet his gaze. He held a serious look before what felt fast to Y/n but so slow to Tom, he placed a hand in her cheek and rubbed his thumb softly over her bottom lip. Then he placed a hand on her waist before pulling her to meet his lips. A kiss that had been waiting for them, a kiss that said all that they couldn’t, a kiss that would refined this friendship they’ve had so long.

“We’re not friends.” Tom spoke after they pulled apart, holding her gaze. Y/n had a hopeful look in her eyes as she finally spoke.

“I know.”

[whereisten]

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Part 1 Preview | Part 1 | Part 2 Preview | Part 2

Summary: After a fun-filled graduation night, your heart is torn between your two best friends, Ten and Lucas. A fire is ignited between the three of you that isn’t as easy to calm as it was to start. And this lustful fire, just like any fire, spreads and seeks to destroy anything in its path, for there is no telling what Ten will do for you, or rather, to you.

Pairing: King!Ten x female reader (as well as Prince! Lucas)

Genre: Royalty!AU, love triangle, angst, smut, fluff

Warnings: manipulation, possessiveness, blackmail, cheating!, character death, mention of blood, alcohol use, smut!: threesome, unprotected sex, penetration (v and a), oral sex (m and f), hand job, fingering, fondling, c*eampie, biting, bdsm (paddle use, choking, rope use), orgasm denial, overstimulation, semi-public sex.

Word Count: 33.4k

Taglist: @suhweo @5shotsamericano @alreadyblondenow @khiphoptrash-0 @adorejaehyn @08skrr @ateez-babygirl

A/N: omggg it’s finally here! This fic is part of a group project organized by @neo-cult-ure . We are very excited to share this with you. It is a story set in the 19th century but based on the song “I know what you did last summer” Camilla Cabbage and Shawn Manatee. We took liberties with the time period, just a warning. We worked REALLY hard together and hope you enjoy!! Please reblog and comment, we’d love to know what you think❤️ as always, this is a work of fiction. The way we portray these idols should not be taken seriously or misconstrue anyone’s perception of them.

PART 1

[FEBRUARY 1894]

“You look wonderful, darling.” Your mother tightens your corset one final time as you hoisted yourself up on the dresser.

You look into the mirror in front of you and watch as one singular vein threatens to pop out from the center of your forehead. The thing about the “lovely” corsets you had to wear was that while they gave your body amazing curves, they gave you nothing but discomfort. But in the words of your mother, “A woman is only as worthy as she looks.” So yes, beauty is pain but beauty is also success.

“Ten would be a fool to not choose you as his wife next year.”

Oh, and that too. She wanted you to look good for Ten. She wanted all eyes to be on you at the Graduation Party you would be at later, but most importantly, she wanted you to look absolutely irresistible for the crown prince, aka the wealthiest bachelor in your country at the moment.

You and Ten had been best friends since middle school, and you admit, you’ve admired him since then. You weren’t sure if it was love, lust, or just a small crush..you knew you felt something when you looked at him.

Even so, the butterflies you felt in your chest when you saw a Ten couldn’t hold a candle to the family of birds that flew about inside when you looked at Lucas.

You met Lucas the same day that you met Ten. At the single cherry blossom tree not too far from school, that’s where you three had met a few years back.

You were sitting on the trunk of the blossoming tree, the falling petals decorating your hair and sticking to your wet cheek as you cried. A girl in school had bullied you because the boy she liked actually liked you. She made fun of your looks and even your family while your classmates just laughed.

So you ran as far away as you could. Eventually finding the lonely cherry blossom tree that stood so gloriously in the middle of a large field. You brought your knees to your chest and let your head fall onto your folded arms. It was bright and warm outside, the wind blew off of the lake behind the tree, making you feel comfortable and calm.

You raised your head slowly when you heard the laughter of two boys as they approached the tree.

“Do you think Ms. Hong will tell on me to your father?” One of them asked the other.

“Who cares..grades don’t matter when you’re of high status like us.” The other one sounded nonchalant and boastful.

You quietly sniffled and rubbed your eyes, hoping that you wouldn’t be noticed on the other side of the tree.

They continued to converse and a few minutes later you hear them gulp down something. One of them made a strange hissing sound while the other laughed.

Almost immediately, you can smell the harsh scent of alcohol. Your face scrunches, and suddenly a petal flies into your nose, making you sneeze loudly.

They both yelled out in shock when they hear you.

“WHO’S THERE?” One of their voices is raised in alarm. 

“I’m-I’m sorry..I was just..sitting here to be by myself for a bit...” You sniffled as you stood up slowly.

The two boys stood up as well.“Why didn’t you say something? Were you just eavesdropping like a creep?” The shorter one asked with disgust.

“N-no..I’m sorry I was just-“

“Are you okay?” The taller one stepped forward. He noticed your red eyes and damp cheeks. You looked to the ground to avoid eye contact. You couldn’t see that he had already started to fall. You were so beautiful, and he wondered how he had never seen you before.

You stepped back and nodded. “I’ll be leaving now, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No-no you don’t have to..” He turned to the shorter one and raised his eyebrows. It was as if he was silently telling Ten to be nice and invite you to their drinking party. Ten got the hint and was hesitant, but he too had a strange feeling in him when he saw you.

“Um..you don’t have to leave. Maybe talking about it will make you feel better.” Ten stepped forward and smiled.

“I’m Ten..this is Lucas, what’s your name?”

You finally looked up at the pair of dashingly handsome young men. Lucas in particular caught your attention because he was just so tall. His smile was warm, as if it was competing with the sun itself. But Ten was just as bright, his eyes crinkling at the sides as his skin dazzled.

“Come on, let’s get to know each other. Drink this and you’ll feel better, I promise.” Ten took your hand and helped you sit back down.

And that was the beginning of your friendship. The three of you did everything together through middle and high school, and had spent plenty more time at the tree.

Today, in your early twenties now, your friendship had reached its apex. You’ve all finally graduated and are able to focus on your individual royal duties. And while you couldn’t wait to be finished with tedious school work, you were nervous for what was to come. You could no longer rely on each other for company at any time in the day. Would your friendship still flourish as you became adults with families and responsibilities?

Ten held the graduation party at his castle because it was the largest one in the land and his parents would be away that night for a trip. It was basically his until he got back.

You bid your parents goodbye once they dropped you off and handed you over to Ten.

Ten stood at the door gawking over you. You always look beautiful but tonight you looked..angelic. Your hair and skin were radiant in the moonlight, and Ten swore you were untouchable, ghostly. It felt as though you were some fairytale brought to life. He had welcomed so many other graduates from your school to his palace that night, but none of them stopped time like you did. Your silver gown was cinched tightly at the waist, making the top of your breasts look especially rounded. 

“What do you think? It’s a bit much, isn’t it?” You laugh when you see him staring.

Ten gives you a large smile. But before he could speak, Lucas’ boastful voice echoes out.“Perfect..you’re perfect, y/n.” 

Lucas steps from behind Ten and closer to you. You didn’t notice Ten’s smile fade as you shift your focus from him and to the tall man beside him instead.

Lucas’ goofy smile and deep voice make you blush and you hope you didn’t possibly look as hot as your cheeks felt. Lucas takes your hand and leads you inside. Ten follows behind and closes his lips tightly.

The two men both wore their royal suits that were decorated with honorary badges and stripes. Their hair was fixed back and they both looked older, more mature. They no longer looked like those rule breaking teens you met at the tree that day in middle school.

The party was filled with every graduate. Live music played and drinks were being served in every corner of every room in the extravagant, gold-filled mansion. Lucas couldn’t help but watch you as you sipped your drink. All the girls watched him, but he couldn’t get over you.

And Ten felt the same way, however, as the host, he didn’t have much time to just stand around and talk with his friends. He had to greet everyone while Lucas spent time with you.

Out of the corner of Ten’s eye, he could see Lucas’ gaze and smile.

It made him feel...left out. But he also couldn’t ignore something else. A desire for you. A desire for Lucas. A desire for requited love. The lust he felt brought out a jealousy that ate at him. He loved you both and he wanted to be with the two of you..badly. This friendship was everything and more to him, and he’d hate to feel like he were losing it.

He finally made his way over to the main ballroom once all of the guests were accounted for.

“You guys look nice and ..comfortable,” You say as you hold your waist and let out a heavy breath.

Ten chuckles. “I’m sorry you have to wear that.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m sorry too.” You grabbed another two glasses and downed them in an effort to numb the feeling of the wires that relentlessly dig into your mid section.

Lucas smirks. “That’s my girl.” He downs another glass too as Ten watches him eye you up and down, the alcohol clearly taking effect on the both of you.

The band started to play a new song, distracting Lucas and giving Ten the perfect opportunity to get some alone time with you. Ten held his hand out quickly and looked at you through wide eyes.

“Dance with me..please.”

You nodded and took his hand, a look of surprise on your face at your best friend asking you for a dance. Usually he’d want to play a game or talk until the sun came out. A dance was very uncharacteristic of him. 

But still, you stepped closer to him. He gently took both hands in his and pulled you closer to his chest, keeping his eyes on yours.

“So this is it?” Ten says softly.

You hum and look down to his neck, his gaze too intense for you to follow as you sway back and forth slowly.

“I guess it is.” You nod.

“We..can still hang out right? You, me, Lucas.”

“I’m not sure..my parents are strict when it comes to me fulfilling my royal duties, I may not have time. I have to get used to wearing corsets and makeup like this all the time..which sucks but..”

“You look amazing.” Ten gives a small smile that makes your throat close up. You had known this boy for years yet it felt like you were dancing with a handsome stranger.

You swallow hard. “Thank you, Ten.”

“I have a feeling we’ll be together for a long time.” Ten knew he couldn’t let you go, he knew that when given the chance, he’d choose you as his wife. Your parents expected the marriage as well as himself. But what about Lucas? Surely he could keep Lucas around, but he wouldn’t be able to touch you or even to gaze at you for long because you’d officially be his.

“What makes you think that?” You ask, eyes low and tracing over his parted lips. The alcohol has made you slightly dizzy and lustful. You started to think of Ten’s lips and how they’d feel on yours

“I see the way you look at me, sort of like how you’re looking at me now.” His heart beat is on yours, slowing down to match the tempo of your rumbling chest, his steamy breath taps the crook of your neck as he leans down.

Your eyes close once you feel his soft surface of his beautiful lips graze your neck. Ten gives you a gentle kiss as you whimper quietly. He wraps an arm around your back to push your body closer to his. Your chest starts to heave and your body begins to feel weak at Ten’s touch.

“Ten..” you whisper but your whining is still loud enough for Ten to hear over the violins.

It’s just the two of you in the middle of the ballroom as Ten nibbles the skin of your neck softly.

And just as you’re about to moan his name once more, you’re startled by a tap on your shoulder. Your eyes open quickly when you recognize the fresh scent of someone other than Ten.

“Lucas?”

Ten also moves quickly to remove his lips from your neck.

“Another drink?” Lucas asks as he forces a smile. Both you and Ten can see that he is forcing it to hide a look of disappointment. He looks hurt and confused.

This felt wrong, but it also felt so right, like you had cheated on a man that you love with another man that you love.

You look at Ten who also looks sorrowful, his mouth falling open but no words seem to come out.

You shake your head. “No thank you…I feel like I can’t breathe...” You hurriedly brush past the two men and head up the large grand staircase.

You walk down the long hallway and let yourself into the room at the very end, hoping that no one will find you as you try to collect yourself.

Your hands fidget as they untie your dress in the back and slide the top half down to your hips. You then start to untie the corset, but get tired, plopping yourself onto the bed while breathing heavily.

“Damn it.” You curse to yourself quietly. How could this happen so fast?

Ten made you feel intoxicated and needy, but Lucas’ face made you feel sadness. You didn’t regret that moment, you’d been waiting to be touched by Ten and it finally happened.

You stood up again and went to untie your corset.

A few seconds pass when you’re startled by the door opening. You turn around fast, your hands covering your chest as you ask, “Who’s there?!”

“It’s me! I’m sorry..I—I’ll leave.” Lucas glances at your exposed body for a millisecond but quickly turns around to leave.

“Wait..Lucas..”

He stops, his back still facing you.

“I need help..”

Lucas turns back to you slowly. You turn your back to him and drunkenly point to the laces in the back.

“Please untie this for me so I can know what it’s like to breathe again.”

Lucas chuckles softly and it’s like music to your ears. He walks over slowly, his heavy steps on the wood floor making your heart race each time he gets closer.

He finally towers behind you, keeping eye contact with you through the huge mirror that stands in front of you.

Lucas goes to untie it, but smirks when you shiver from the light graze of his fingers against your back.

“What was that?”

“I-I don’t know.” You stumble over your words once you break eye contact and look at a painting on the wall to the right.

“Did you like it?”

You look back at Lucas through the mirror. His expression is dark, daring and that’s when you notice that he is untying your corset at an unbelievably slow rate.

“I..”

“I’m your best friend too, you have to be honest with me.” Lucas takes his middle finger and runs it down along your arm, his eyes glued to your exposed shoulders. “What did it feel like to have his lips on you?”

The low lighting in the room provided a sharp contrast to the bright aura in the ballroom you both were in before. The ballroom was decorated by enormous chandeliers. Instead, in this room, there was one single lamp in the corner of the room and the moonlight that poured in through the large window beside the bed.

The new lighting allowed for you to see the sharp features of Lucas’ gorgeous face, how his high cheekbones made him look dangerously handsome. His expression was dark as he spoke, his lips pursed.

“It felt..good.”

“I want to make you feel good too, will you let me?” Lucas’ voice is even lower than it was a few minutes ago. You breathe heavily, but having your corset a little looser than it was before makes it less painful. Your legs close tightly as Lucas’ husky voice makes you wet.

Lucas fixes your hair from one side of your neck to the other side then leans down and kisses you. A weak breath leaves your open mouth as your head instantly falls back. 

Lucas lips are plumper but just as soft as Ten’s. His delicate kisses make your heart race.

“Yes..” Your eyes close as Lucas begins to suck hard onto the warm skin on your shoulder.

His hands hold your waist as he pulls you closer, your back falling flush against his broad chest. Your hands reach behind you and find his head. Lucas moans when he feels your dainty fingers massage his scalp. He then kisses your jawline while you back into him more. He glances down to see your breasts rising up and down rapidly as you grow hotter.

His touch was everything you needed right now. Ten’s kiss made you needy and you knew you needed more.

You moan when you brush against Lucas’ pelvis and feel his hard member poke your back. You reach down and palm it through the fabric, earning a throaty groan from him.

He humps into your hand while still sucking your neck. “y/n... I need you.” His breath, coated in alcohol, hits your neck, leaving it with goosebumps once you hear his low voice.

You turn to him and look into his eyes. They search yours, quietly asking for approval as you lick your lips.

You continue to palm his member, his breathing became shallow and you knew he couldn’t take your teasing much longer.

You push the dress past your hips now and down to your knees. He holds your hands as he helps you step out of it. Your corset still on, you lead him to the bed where you push his chest lightly, making him fall onto it.

He sits at the edge and watches as you shimmy his pants off for him. He then takes his jacket off and unbuttons his shirt before tossing them both to the side where his pants and your dress also lie.

You are about to get on your knees when he holds your arm to stop you. “No..your knees will hurt..on the bed, my love.”

Hearing him speak so softly and tenderly to you while calling you his love made your heart flutter. You couldn’t help but smile widely.

He pushes himself up on the bed and towards the headboard where he sits up straight and rests his back.

“Come here.” He whispers.

You crawl over slowly and watch as his lustful eyes fall onto your breasts still accentuated and pushed forward by your corset. You only keep it on because while it did hurt, it makes you feel unbelievably sexy.

Once you are finally over his hips, you look into his eyes as you draw down the waistband of his underwear, his length sprung free, the tip red and leaking with precum already.

You lick your lips as you marvel at how big he is. You figured he’d be big based off of his towering height, but you didn’t expect this. Your womanhood trembles when you imagine what it would feel like to be filled up by him, you feel yourself leak through your own underwear at the thought.

You run a hand along his abs as he breathes heavily and watches you through wide eyes. Lucas had dreamt of nights with you for so long, he never thought it would actually happen and now he was over the moon. But deep down, he wants to make sure you are comfortable.

“Y/n..we don’t have to..”

“But I want to, I really do.” You lean down and start by kissing his tip, teasing him as you barely stick your tongue out. You look up at Lucas watching his mouth fall open as you flatten your tongue against it.

You lick the shining liquid that trickled down the sides like it was an ice cream pop while your ass stays up in the air. The sight of you like this for him makes him dizzy, he imagines himself pounding into you from behind on this very bed, hearing your moans, feeling you clench around him as you grip the sheets.

His dick twitches in response to his wild imagination and the fact that you finally take the tip into your mouth, swallowing him to hear him groan.

You move your mouth down as far as you could onto his length, but stop when you feel him hit the back of your throat. You use your hands to cover the rest.

Lucas’ head falls back while you hollow your cheeks and lick across every vein. He resists the urge to buck his hips upward and make you gag.

“y/n..God, that feels good.” His eyes close as he listens to the sloppy slurping sounds fill the cold air of the room.

You hum to send a vibration onto his dick and make him tremble, his mouth falling open as he gasps. 

You withdraw your mouth from him and pumped his member with your hands, letting spit fall onto him while looking up at his gorgeous body, the way his abs flexed as he tensed to keep himself from releasing too soon.

You were both too enraptured with each other to notice that the door had been opened.

Ten’s eyes widen at the sight of you bent over, taking Lucas into your mouth while your round ass stuck up in the air. He almost immediately feels his pants grow strained.

He felt a growing tension between the three of you, but he didn’t think that it would lead to this. He enjoyed watching Lucas be pleasured and while he wished it were him being the one to bring these throaty groans out of Lucas he also wished it were him underneath you, watching as your cute cheeks became filled with nothing but him.

He too had imagined many times what it would be like to make love to you. To have you calling out his name into the night.

He knew neither of you noticed that he was watching from the doorway, your moans growing louder as each second went by and Lucas got closer.

He would’ve pleasured himself quietly as he watched, but that jealousy he felt lit a fiery lust that needed to be put out. He had to touch you or Lucas.

He slams the door shut, startling both you and Lucas. You flip your body over beside Lucas’ legs and quickly wipe your mouth with your arm.

Ten walks over slowly, a devilish smirk on his face as he looks at your two bodies.

“Ten! It’s not what it—“ Lucas opens his mouth but struggles to form coherent sentences.

“Shhh..it’s okay, keep going.” Ten shakes his head and watches you intensely. You can’t tell if he is jealous or upset with you, it was a poker face that you just can’t read.

Both you and Lucas felt sorry for what felt like betrayal.

You look to Lucas, your eyes pleading for him to tell you what to do. When you are met with silence you then look back at Ten. 

“Ten..touch me.” You swallow hard and look up at Ten, your look of worry fading into that of lust. You liked them both, you needed them, and since Ten already caught you, why not make the best of the awkward situation?

You and Ten look back at Lucas who gives a small smile and nods. You get back on your knees and reach out for Ten who walks over to the edge of the opposite side of the bed.

Lucas strokes his member which surprisingly hadn’t fallen since Ten arrived, the idea of a threesome only made this hotter for him. He watches as you help Ten take off his jacket then unbutton his shirt with shaking hands.

You don’t know why you were nervous when it came to Ten. The alcohol is wearing off and you aren’t as brave as you were when you first started with Lucas.

Ten’s feline gaze on your body makes your face hot and his exposed chest didn’t make it any easier for you. Ten takes your shaking hands into his and pulls you closer to him. He leans down and kisses you deeply, your eyes closing as his tongue enters your mouth to embrace yours.

You turn your head and let your tongue trace over the inside of his mouth before tugging his bottom lip between your teeth. Ten enjoys the taste, thinking of how Lucas’ precum that once coated your tongue is now on his.

When he finally lets go to breathe, he opens his dark eyes and gazes at you. He leans down, his bottom lip brushing lightly against your ear lobe.

“He needs you..” He whispers lowly and tilts his head towards Lucas.

You nod and head back over to him, you’re still light headed from your passionate kiss with Ten. One that you had to admit was filled with years of sexual tension.

You retake your position over Lucas’ lap and bend down to take him into your mouth once again. Lucas licks his lips and groans.

Ten steps out of his pants and walks to the side of the bed. He begins to stroke his own member as he watches you work your mouth on Lucas while face down, ass up.

You’re beautiful with your heated skin sparkling in the moonlight, your hair pushed to the side and your pretty hands around Lucas’ member.

Lucas then holds a hand out and looks to Ten.

“She’s been a good girl..you should touch her.” Lucas tells Ten before biting his lips and reaching out for Ten’s hard and glistening cock.

Ten lets Lucas take it in his hand and stroke it for him. His mouth falling open as he watches Lucas’ large hand wrap around him, spreading the pre cum as he moves it up and down.

Ten then places his hand onto your butt cheek, circling around it before giving it a smack.

You feel your walls clench after the action and moan, the vibrations in your throat then making Lucas groan as well.

Ten traces two fingers over your covered womanhood, then draws the soaked underwear down your legs so you are exposed to the cold air. You hiss at the exposure, but it’s cut short when you feel two of Ten’s icy cold fingers on your entrance.

Ten’s heart beats wildly as he is touched by Lucas and touches you at the same time.

He feels that this as confirmation that you both love him just as he loves you and it makes his head spin.

He circles around your folds slowly, then on top to collect your juices. He teasingly slides between them with just one finger.

“Ten..please.” You withdraw your mouth from Lucas’ member and cry out. You’re yearning for some friction, anything that will calm the aching between your legs.

Ten chuckles at the site of you begging, then presses two fingers into you. You fall forward and whimper as you clench around his long fingers.

You go back to sucking Lucas as he pumps Ten harder. He bucks his hips into you because he’s close and your moans push him to the edge.

Ten’s fingers curve into you, pushing against your sweet spot over and over. You breathe heavily and close your eyes as you tremble around him.

Ten leaks all over Lucas’ hand while they both watch and listen to the lewd sounds created by your mouth and wet opening.

Ten then thinks of something else he’d like to see, so he takes his fingers away leaving you a moaning mess as you feel empty again.

He takes Lucas’ hand away from his dripping cock then goes behind you, pulling your hair so that you kneel into the bed, your back straight as Ten presses your back to his chest behind you. You lick your lips and look at Lucas.

Lucas looks puzzled as he watches Ten turn your head towards his. He kisses you passionately again, this time from behind and you can feel his member poke your ass.

Lucas was so close to cumming, and he is somewhat annoyed by Ten stopping everything completely to kiss you. You both kiss sloppily as Ten’s hand goes to your front side, tapping against your clit to gain a cry from you.

Ten lets go of your lips, his mouth still close to yours as he looks into yours eyes. “If it gets to be too much say the word ‘gold,’ or tap either one of us three times.”

His voice is softer now, he looks at you with so much care and concern.

You nod before he helps you get rid of your underwear completely. Now, you kneel over Lucas’ lap in nothing but your corset.

“Do you want to feel him inside you?” Ten whispers into your ear as you lick your lips. Lucas bites his own too as he watches you hover over him.

“Y-yes.” You let out breathily.

“Good girl..ride him.” Ten releases his grip on your waist and lets you go forward to Lucas.

Your legs are shaky as you spread them open over his member; still sturdy and up straight.

You sink down slowly. The air is filled with gasps as his cock is enraptured by your velvety walls, filling you up easily and stretching you out.

You move up and down a few times to get used to his girth while he moans. His abs flex under you, his broad shoulders and biceps tense as well. His hair is dark with sweat and still pushed back as he bites his lips and watches your pussy swallow him whole. He runs his hands up and down your thighs as you move.

Ten gently pushes you forward so you press your hands flat onto Lucas’ pecs. You bounce on him and look into his eyes. 

Ten aligns his aching cock with your ass and slowly slides it in.

You gasp at the feeling of his round tip stretching your hole out.

You let out a whimper when he holds your waist to push into you even more. It was a strange feeling, but he gave you time to breathe and adjust. He’s only about halfway in, but you are completely filled up by the two men.

“Do you want me to keep going?” Ten asks, his voice strained as he struggles to hold his desire to push all the way in.

“Yes, Ten.. don’t stop.” You want to please them both and everything was so hot already, you couldn’t imagine stopping now.

Ten pushes more and you let out another cry, this time it’s louder.

Lucas is tempted to tell Ten to stop, he’s worried for you but he swallows hard and holds your hand tightly.You look up at his face of worry and breathe heavily. You give him a reassuring nod before moaning.

Ten finally pushes all the way in as the air leaves your body, you fall onto Lucas, your head in the crook of his neck as Ten begins to move in and out of your small opening.

Ten groans. “You’re so tight, sweetheart.”

“Good girl, you’re such a good girl for us.” Lucas pushes your hair out of your face and kisses your cheek before wiping away a tear. He kisses your lips to help you through it. He can feel your heated body tremble from being so filled up, and while it is hot, he couldn’t help but be worried for you.

For a moment, you are transported to paradise when you kiss Lucas, his lips felt so good on yours, they felt like a warm hug in the winter. You mewl as you lick across his bottom lip.

Ten is jealous by the kiss because he can tell that you and Lucas are entangled with each other. Even when Ten is inside you, even when Ten holds Lucas’ hand, you both are still enraptured with just each other.

Ten holds your neck, lightly tugging you away from Lucas. Your eyes fly open as you are separated. He then runs his fingers through your hair and grips it before pushing you down into the bed. You’re face down in the bed now as Ten’s pounds into you harder, clearly upset that you were not focused on him for a moment.

He pushes faster, letting his thrust push your body forward. Your corset begins to shift downward as your breasts fall out of it from the repeated rough thrusting by Ten.

Your body is in a strange, contorted position as it is fucked into by two cocks. You can feel the two members run against each other, separated by a thin, silky wall. The friction feels amazing, for they both slide in and out of you easily. Lucas helps you by moving his hips and rubbing your back.

He holds Ten’s hand with his other hand, intertwining their fingers and locking eyes with him as they both groan and pant.

They fuck into your lifeless body, filling the room with filthy noises. Your essence runs down your thighs in a steady stream and onto them both. It’s a mixture of pain and pleasure as Lucas’ tip presses into your insides when he goes deeper and Ten continues to bury himself into you, his pelvis making a slapping noise as it hits your ass cheeks. 

You start to kiss Lucas’ neck, then suck onto it.

Lucas moans. “Fuck, I’m close.”

Ten gives you a harsh thrust, causing you to accidentally bite into Lucas’ neck.

Lucas becomes undone with the action. He attempts to slip out of you so he doesn’t cum inside, but Ten smirks, gripping your hips and pushing you back down onto Lucas. Lucas has to release into you as he sees stars and groans. You clench around him as a result, feeling every twitch and vein as he releases deep into you. 

Ten cums too from all of the vibrations he feels against his cock while inside you.

He buries himself so deep while you whimper into Lucas’ shoulder.

You cum hard, your eyes roll in the back of your head as Lucas holds your body still.

You all breathe heavily, your body relaxing into Lucas as Ten pulls out of you and falls to the side.

But Ten isn’t done. He crawls over you and flips your body over so you’re facing him.

“Put your legs on hers.” He instructs Lucas.

Lucas sits up, his back against the headboard once more as you rest in between his legs. He doesn’t question Ten, he only does as he’s told, for he too is curious to see what he has in mind for you. Lucas places his legs on yours, entangling them so he’s in charge of where they go.

You’re too tired to say anything, your chest rising and falling as you are still reeling from your climax. 

Ten gazes at your breasts and hard nipples. “You’re so beautiful, I just want to taste you..I want to taste you both.” Ten gets onto his stomach and crawls over to your opening, his breath fanning it as it leaks of cum from both you and Lucas.

You’re still sensitive so his hot breath makes you flinch, you try to close your legs but Lucas forced them to stay still.

Ten licks his lips. “Open.” He doesn’t look at you, he only looks at Lucas.

Lucas spreads your legs open by moving his longer ones, bending them at the knee so they’re further apart.

Lucas then plays with your nipple, pinching it lightly before pumping your breast. “That felt good, right? Do you want to cum again, baby girl?”

Your eyes are closed when Lucas’ faint whisper enters your ears. You can feel his abs flex against your naked back. His body is hot and comforts yours, almost distracting you from the cold air between your wavering legs.

“Yes..” You murmur before swallowing hard. You were greedy for both men, ready to do whatever they wanted you to.

Lucas’ large hands on your chest has you ready for another climax.

He nibbles onto your ear before kissing your neck again while Ten leaves a sloppy trail of kisses from the crook of your knee to the apex of your thighs.

His mouth latches onto your thigh, sucking the skin hard between his teeth. He then runs his skinny fingers in between your folds, drawing a slow circle to gather your essence as well as Lucas’.

Your mouth falls open into a lousy cry, to which Ten responds to by shoving those fingers into your mouth.

“Suck, baby, taste yourself.” Ten’s breath fans your opening, making you flinch.

You close your mouth and suck hard, licking between the two fingers as your eyes close. Ten watches everything, he enjoys the way your tongue feels on him, and the way Lucas’ large fingers continue to play with your perky nipples.

“Look at me, sweetheart.” Ten beckons your attention.

You open your eyes and look into his just as he licks a long stripe up your opening.

You whimper and try to close your legs again, but Lucas easily overpowers you. You’re more sensitive than you thought.

Ten chuckles and licks you slowly again.

You look at the dark haired man between your legs and cry out when he gives a look so wicked it makes your heart weak.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long, how about you, Lucas? Have you wanted to fuck our sweet princess?” Ten emphasizes the word ‘fuck’ and it sends chills up your spine.

He kisses your entrance then buries his face into the apex of your legs, licking into your opening as his perfect nose presses against your clit.

“Oh God, Ten!” You cry out and your head falls back. You’re still sensitive and you try to escape from Lucas’ grip, but you have no such luck.

“Of course, Ten.” Lucas’ warm breath hits your neck as he speaks against it. He watches his fingers flick across the hard nipples that stick out from your perfectly round breasts.

He squeezes them hard as he feels himself grow again. “I’ve always wanted fuck our beautiful friend. I can just imagine how sweet her pussy tastes.”

Ten pulls away and licks his lips. “She tastes like the most expensive meal I’ve ever had, Lucas.”

Hearing them talk dirty about you makes you clench around the tip of Ten’s tongue. The idea that they’ve fantasized about you makes that familiar knot in the base of your stomach begin to grow again.

Ten grows hard as well at the sound of your whimpers and the taste of your wet flower.

He pushes two fingers into you again, all while kissing your clit and eating you out while you were spread open for him.

Lucas takes your hand and places it onto his member. “Sweet girl, touch me.”

You begin to pump Lucas as he groans into your ear. The low tone of his voice makes you clench around Ten’s fingers. You begin to feel dizzy, Ten’s tongue drawing circles onto your clit as he finger tips curve into you and press against your G-spot repeatedly. He licks everything up before flattening his tongue against you while you jump. You moan loudly, and you’re not sure if the other attendees at the party heard you, but you realized that it got quieter. Maybe it was because they were all going home now.

Ten withdraws his fingers when he feels that you are close. He fixes himself over you and holds his cock while licking his lips.

Now that you’ve gotten a good look at it, you see that it’s not as long as Lucas’ but has a curve and girth that is sure to drive you mad.You bite your lips and look at Ten with wide eyes as he strokes it.

“That’s it, baby, you want my cock in your pussy now, isn’t that right?”

You nod, but Lucas takes your chin into his hand. “Use your words, baby girl.”

“Y-yes. Yes, fuck me, Ten.” You beg and whimper.

Ten smirks and lowers himself. He teases you more by tapping the tip of his cock onto your bud a few trikes. He then guides the tip along your folds, parting them to coat his pink tip with your essence.

“Ten..please.” Every time he touches your entrance, you feel your heart begin to race in anticipation.

He watches closely as he pushes into you hard, your body moving upwards against Lucas as the air is knocked out of your heaving chest.

You close your eyes tightly while you adjust. Ten grips your waist hard and uses it as an anchor to pull his body into yours more, pushing all the way into you so your skin slaps against his.

Ten pounds into you relentlessly from the front this time while you pump your hand up and down around Lucas. 

Ten presses your legs further apart, you feel like they might break as his hips snap into yours. You cry out his name, your eyes watering. His cock runs against your walls rapidly as he chases after his high. His hips make a slapping sound. The curve of his cock allows him to press against your sweet spot and his rapid speed makes you clench.

Your head falls back against Lucas as he grunts into your ear. “Fuck this is hot, seeing you like this..”

“We’re gonna make her cum harder than she’s ever cum before...” Ten’s hair sticks to his forehead, his mouth falling open as he gets closer.

“Choke her for me.” Ten demands as he watches your swollen lips. He wished they were wrapped around his cock, but being inside you and feeling your silky entrance tighten around him was enough for now.

Lucas wraps a hand around your throat, squeezing it gently. “Harder.” Ten demands.

You moan as he tightens it, your pussy quivering in response. You arch your back.

Ten chuckles, he grips your knees then leans down and kisses you while sliding in and out of you still. 

“Ah!  Ten!” You can feel yourself clench every time he enters your quivering body.

You’re lightheaded as he rubs circles into you, making you a trembling mess.He bites your bottom lip as he lets go, his movement stuttering. He moves his fingers onto your bud faster.

Lucas grips your throat tightly as he is about to cum as well.

“Cum for me.” Ten’s husky voice enters your ear before he leans down to Lucas. He sucks his neck hard as Lucas cums into your hand, gripping your neck even harder as he climaxes.

You cant breathe, you clench uncontrollably and moan, releasing onto Ten’s dick as he presses against your bud one final time. “Ahh..good girl.” Ten’s husky voice enters your ears.

Ten then releases into you, your convulsing pussy gripping his length into a tight hug as you orgasm. He moves sloppily, thrusting into your still body to push all of his cum deep into you.

Your breasts moving up and down as you try to collect yourself.

Ten pulls out and looks down onto your weak body. Your legs are still open and he can see his cum leak out of you and onto your thigh.

He isn’t pleased with this so he takes his fingers and swirls it around your opening, collecting the juices and pushing it back into you. He was jealous of the way Lucas came inside you, and for Ten this meant that he wanted you to be filled by him, he wants to know that he’s still inside you.

You struggle to get away from his fingers. “Ten..oh my God.” You cry out at the overstimulation.

“I’m gonna make you feel good again.”

“Lucas—“ You whimper.

Lucas distracts you from the overwhelming feeling by tilting your head towards his. He kisses you while Ten’s fingers keep you open.

Ten’s fingers easily glide inside but you’re so sensitive, tears start to fall from your eyes.

There is not more strength left in your body let alone your widespread legs.

“Lucas..you have to feel our sweet girl.” Ten takes Lucas’ hand, placing two fingers over his then pushes all four into your throbbing hole.

They stretch you out as they both pump in and out now, Lucas’ fingers are longer so they press onto your sensitive button repeatedly.

“Oh my-..” you bite your lips and watch as their fingers, coated in mixed essences, disappear into your body.

Lucas nibbles your ear in response.

Ten’s gaze is fixed on your body, so full of him, so beautiful and spread open...for him.

His eyes are low, but you can’t help but notice that it’s a wild gaze that makes you feel wanted, something you’d never seen from Ten before.

“Do you want to cum again, sweetheart?”

You nod.

Ten is weakened by your glossy, wide eyes and swollen lips. He’d give anything to see you like this again. He smirks and lowers himself to your chest and licks the hard nubs that stick out from your breasts.

“Does that feel good?” Ten bites the skin between your breasts.

“Ahh! Yes, Ten!” You cry out and grip the sheets, your head spinning as you start to see stars. Another high approaches. You start to rock your hips on your own to meet the movement of their fingers.

“Ten..touch me there.” You plead and it’s like music to Ten’s ears.

Ten takes his other hand and rubs your bud, watching as your jaw clenched and your head falls onto Lucas’ shoulder once more. All you needed was a simple movement from his fingers to proceed to lustful bliss.

Both Ten and Lucas moan when they feel you tighten around their fingers.

They withdraw their fingers and switch positions quickly, their cocks now hard again after hearing your beautiful sounds and feeling you.

Ten holds you from behind, your vision becomes blurry but you can hear him chuckle.

“Do you wanna play with her Lucas? She’s so wet and ready for you.” Ten says before putting his fingers into your mouth. You lick everything up while moaning.

Lucas smiles and licks his lips as he watches your mouth open wide for Ten’s fingers.

Lucas places both hands on your knees and presses down, he enters you in one swift movement. Your mouth falls open into a loud cry as you are stretched outagain after not recovering completely from your last climax.

“Lucas! Fuck.”

He can’t help but move fast, gliding in and out of your slippery, tight pussy because he is already close to cumming. He pushes into you so deep, your body moves up on the bed. Ten holds onto your waist so you say still.

You pull Lucas down towards you, leaving scratch marks all over his back as he ruins your insides. You wrap your legs around his waist, latching onto him like a koala.

Ten slides out from under you, kneeling beside you and tilting your head towards him by placing a finger on your jaw.

“He’s hard again because of you, sweetheart.” Lucas whispers into your neck, his long lashes grazing your jawline.

Ten strokes his cock in front of you. Your mouth opens and you let your tongue run along the underside.

“Good girl.” Ten groans and pushes forward into your mouth. You whimper as he hits the back of your throat unexpectedly, but then you immediately hollow your cheeks and groan, sending spastic vibrations onto Ten’s cock.

Ten’s head falls back, he closes his eyes and thinks about how good your plump lips feel around his aching member. His hips move steadily as he groans.

With each rough thrust Lucas gives you, you hum a high pitched tone that makes them both go crazy. 

Sweat forms on Lucas’ forehead as he looks up at your cheeks full with Ten. Lucas’ movement stutters and he releases into you once again, collapsing onto your body as he slows down.

Lucas starts to finger you so you can cum also while sucking Ten off. Ten smooths your hair back while smirking, watching as a continuous flow of tears escape your eyes, you’re so sensitive but you just won’t say the safe word because they feel..amazing.

Ten moves a few more times before releasing into your throat. You choke and gag as he pulls out, watching a string of spit and cum drop onto your chin.

Ten pinches your nipples as he recovers from climaxing while Lucas still moves his fingers in and out. Lucas kisses your jaw and down to your neck, his fingers tickling your tender sweet spot. But you just can’t take anymore, your body is weak, your head spins and soon everything turns to black.

Lucas immediately withdraws his fingers when he sees that you’ve blacked out, your body silent and falling completely limp as your arms relax to the side.

Ten also stops playing with your breasts, he only looks onto your naked body and thinks to himself, what a beautiful sight you are. Your body is wet, sweaty and full of their cum. Your hair is messy and lips swollen.

Lucas lays down beside you and loosens your corset completely, tossing it to the side and allowing you to sleep comfortably.

Ten goes to the bathroom and comes back with a wet cloth, he cleans you up then hands another cloth to Lucas.

The three of you then lay together in bed, with you in between them. The boys fell asleep shortly after since they too were tired, but not without sparing each other quick glances first. They were both unsure of what would happen next in their friendship, but they both knew that above all, they wanted you.

In the middle of the night, Lucas wakes up and heads to the bathroom to get a glass of water. He brings it back to the bed and taps you gently.

“y/n..” he whispers as to not wake Ten who lays beside you on the other side of the king sized bed.

Your heavy eyes open slowly and you struggle to make out Lucas’ face in the darkness.

“Here..have some water.” He helps you sit up straight as you look around questioningly. You look around you and see a sleeping Ten then it all comes back to you, you remember what happened a few hours before.

You take the glass from Lucas and drink the water to soothe your throat which is as dry as the desert.

Lucas smiles when he takes the empty glass away. He lays down beside you and takes you into his arms, you wrap your arms around him and close your eyes before falling back asleep.

————

[Three Days Later]

“We should talk about that night..” Lucas looks out into the water as he speaks to you and Ten. The three of you are at your favorite hangout spot, the cherry blossom tree by the water.

It’s been a few days since the amazing orgy the three of you had, and while things hadn’t necessarily been awkward since then, things weren’t exactly back to normal either.

“There isn’t much to say.” Ten is quick to shoot down Lucas’ proposal. He looks at his fingernails and purses his lips.

“I agree with Ten, let’s just...move on. We were all drunk and-we had fun. We’re still best friends, let’s just make sure that it doesn’t happen again.” You look up at Lucas, hoping that he will nod and not question their relationship any more.

Ten scoffs, tilting his head towards you and lifting his lips into a smirk. “Was it that bad? I remember you crying out both our names like your life depended-“

“Ten! Stop! It was amazing, but I-I can’t see myself in a relationship like that or to be quite frank, I can’t see myself with either of you..”

Ten’s face straightens and Lucas turns to you completely, his brows furrowing.

Your eyes move rapidly to and from both curious faces.

“You guys are my best friends, you always will be..a relationship would only ruin what we already have.” You look up to them with pleading eyes.

Lucas swallows hard and turns away. “If that’s what you want, y/n.”

Ten nods, his playful smirk returning. “Okay, understood.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow at 1 then? Lucas will you be joining us for lunch?”

“I can’t, I already have an engagement for that time, but I will see you the next day.” Lucas smiles and says goodbye to both you and Ten.

You watch as the tall, built man leaps onto his horse. His strong arms and veiny hands gripping the straps of the holster before calling out to his steed. And you suddenly started to regret the statements you spoke so strongly just moments ago.

If only you could control your lust for him..for them.

————

Ten leads you into his house for lunch. He’s dressed casually, but still looks incredibly handsome, his dark hair is pushed back and his lips are a pretty blush color.

“How are you today, sweetheart?” Ten leans towards you.

Sweetheart.. it was a name you hadn’t heard him call you since the other night.

You ignore your thought and smile. “I’m doing well..excited to finally eat some food!”

Ten laughs, he adores your excited expressions, the way your eyes grow at the sight of food that you love and the way you dance and grin from ear to ear.

He’s happy his parents and Lucas are away so it’ll just be the two of you.

But when you step into the dining room, you’re shocked to see his dining table is empty.

This was unusual for Ten as he always had food out and ready for his guests once they were over.

Ten can’t see your knitted brows as he stands behind you. “The food won’t be out for another thirty minutes or so..what do you suggest we do?” His voice is low as he steps forward, he presses his chest onto your back before placing his hands onto your waist.

You turn around to him swiftly and gaze into his eyes.

“W-what are you doing?” Your questions comes out weakly as Ten’s intense gaze towards your lips takes your breath away.

He leans down and kisses you, but you pull away.

“Ten-“ Your expression of confusion doesn’t faze him, he only grips your waist tighter.

“I can’t stop thinking about you..”

“We..can’t do this.” You shake your head.

“Yes we can, we’re royals, you and I..we can do whatever we want. Have you stopped thinking about me? You couldn’t possibly forget my hands on your trembling thighs, my tongue reaching the sweetest places to make you scream?”

Your heart begins to race as you feel your underwear become wet at his words, you close your legs tightly and swallow hard. Your mouth falls open, you struggle to find the right words to say for you truly don’t know what you want in this moment.

Ten kisses you abruptly again, this time, exploring your mouth with his eager tongue as he pulls your body closer to his.

You let your eyes close and embrace the kiss. You couldn’t fight the feeling any longer. You had to give in..just this once.

Ten presses forward towards the table before laying you down onto it. Your lips separate from each other’s to breathe. Ten quickly drags your panties down before kneeling down. He leaves your dress on and gives you a mischievous smile.

You bite your lips as you watch him lift the dress and go under it, your knees bending as his hands hold your legs at the crook.

He starts first by kissing your thighs and licking them ever so slowly.

“Ten..” You call out his name as you grip the table cloth.

He then flicks his tongue onto your folds, making you yelp. Ten laps up your essence, his tongue moving slowly up and down and in circles, teasing your entrance while you let out cute mewls. You try to hold back your moans so the servants won’t hear. Your head falls against the cold table as you bite your lips.

His tongue plunged into your core, the tip pressing onto a sensitive spot near your bud teasingly. He takes his time covering all areas before kissing your slit, and letting out a throaty groan. He lets his tongue work wonders on your core, flattening against your flower as his nose brushes against your clit.

“Ahhh..you taste lovely, sweetheart.”He says before strengthening his tongue and pushing in even deeper.

You start to clench around him, your back arches. You want to grab his hair as you grind your hips against his face, but Ten pulls away, leaving you clenching around nothing but air.

He withdraws from under your dress and breathes heavily, licking his lips as he looks onto your hard nipples peeking out from under the thin cloth that covers them.

He pulls the fabric down, allowing one breast to escape. He takes the nipple into his mouth, sucking hard as you arch yourself into him even more. You can feel his hard cock brush against your thigh.

“Ten—“ you breathlessly utter out. “Please.”

Ten only hums as he still sucks onto your breast.

He lets go after a few seconds then kisses your lips while taking his pants down.

You wrap your legs around his waist, your dress riding up to your hips as a result.

He goes back to sucking your breast as he pushes into you carefully. You gasp and your head falls back, the veins of his cock providing the perfect stimulation to your core and he gets deeper.

You press your hands onto his butt, pushing him deeper into you with each thrust.

Your moans grow louder as does his. You both no longer care about who could hear, you only cared for satisfying that itch deep within you that was aching.

Ten looks up at you through low eyes, watching as your body tenses and your breast jumps with each push. He once again thinks to himself of how he adores every part of you. He wants to be enraptured by you all the time.

And seeing you like this in the day time, your sweaty skin sparkling and your hair shiny as the rays of sunlight that escaped the curtains fall onto you. You smell like the flowers that bloomed right outside and you taste like the best freshly baked cake.

His hips snap into yours, a strand of hair falling into his forehead, making him even more beautiful than he was before. You both hear the clinking and shaking of the glassware on the table as he fucks hard into your body on the table, but you ignore it, instead listening to each other’s staggered breaths.

“Ten..Ah! That’s it...right there.”

Your sounds are unlike anything he’s heard before. And after listening to your beautiful mewls, his movement stutters as he releases into you, coating your walls with his slick.

You cum as well, clenching around him after he hits your sweet spot with the perfect amount of force.

The two of you kiss through it all, sharing a moment of complete and ignorant bliss. You’re not worried about the past nor the future or even Lucas. You only care for the now.

Ten finally pulls away and falls onto the chair behind him. Your legs relax as you fix your dress and sit up straight.

Ten licks his lips and smirks. “Bring the food in!” He yells to his servants whom he knows are just in the room next door.

“Wait-you knew they were there?” Your eyes widened, but Ten only chuckles as he fixes his pants then helps you off the table.

“We’re royals, love. We can do whatever we want.”

Your lunch continues normally, you try not to think too much about what happened, but it is noticeably quiet at the table.

There’s a heavy energy around the two of you. One that’s filled with questions.

“I could get used to this..” Ten takes a sip of his drink but looks at you over the glass.

“What?” You ask.

“You and I..just the two of us..like this.”

You laugh and take a bite of your food. “You’re funny..you and I both know we need Lucas. Have you forgotten how much we fight when he’s not around? How close we’ve been to tearing each other apart?”

Ten laughed. “You do have a point.”

There’s a moment of silence before Ten asks his next question.

“But it’s not entirely impossible, right?”

You both knew where Ten was going with this. Within a year or two, Ten would have to pick a woman to be married to. It was customary for this to occur soon after graduation as both parties must begin to fulfill their duties together for a better society. In a few months, there would be a pairing ceremony for young graduates to meet others that could become a potential lifelong partner.

Ten was the highest ranking bachelor in your country. And fortunately, he was gorgeous, unlike anyone that walked the land. Any and every woman would kill to be at his side, but he just wanted you, the one woman that didn’t seem so eager to be by his side and attain his riches.

“I don’t know Ten, I think I like what we have already..” you sigh, you knew you needed way more time to think about marriage. “The three of us are perfect as friends. I..don’t want to lose either of you.” 

You spoke honestly, but Ten wasn’t satisfied. You always found a way to bring up Lucas and he didn’t like that. He loved Lucas deeply too, but he was willing to give him up if it meant gaining you to himself.

“Ten?”

He didn’t realize that he had held his utensil so tightly, his knuckles paled.

You reached out and placed your hand over his. 

“Oh.” He finally relaxed and smiled. “I’m sorry—I was lost in thought for a moment. Yes..whatever you wish.” He nodded and finished his food.

————

Ten’s parents returned the next day, so you didn’t expect to see him as often.

Lucas, however, paid you a visit that day.

“Shall we go to the market?” Lucas’ smile beamed when you opened the door.

You grinned and headed out with him. He helped you into his carriage before signaling for the driver to take off.

The two of you walked about the market, purchasing fruits and vegetables that you loved while talking and laughing. Many people were there, some played music on stringed instruments while some painted in the street and others observed.The smell of sizzling street food filled the air.

The two of you shared memories of school. “Remember when Ten lied to the teacher and said that you stole his notebook?”

“Yes! I slapped him so hard once we got to the tree, I’m surprised he didn’t scar.” You laughed.

Lucas bent over, clutching his stomach as he laughed. “His face was priceless, he didn’t see it coming. You would’ve kicked him too if I didn’t pull you away.”

“He was and still is such a mischievous boy.” You giggled and let Lucas take your hand as you headed back to the carriage.

You gazed into the side of Lucas’ face as you endured the bumpy ride from the market. A part of you felt like telling him about you and Ten, but a part of you also knew that you would hurt Lucas. And what good would it do to tell him the truth? It would ease your conscience but it could also ruin your friendship as you were the one to tell them that you would only continue as friends.

You went back on your own statement and now you were disappointed with yourself. You had a growing fondness for both men, but especially Lucas, and this would only end up hurting you all.

Lucas was warm and bright, his smile lit up every room he went into and he was always there to make sure that you were comfortable and happy. You fell in love with him from the first time you saw him. You felt love towards Ten too, but it wasn’t as strong as what you felt for Lucas for some reason.

“Are you trying to find something?” Lucas turned to you with raised eyebrows.

You didn’t notice that you had been staring for too long.

You laughed and looked forward. “I’m sorry I was just..”

“Just what?” Lucas pressed and looked onto your lips.He too couldn’t stop thinking about that night and how good you felt. How satisfied he was once he was finally making love to you after all these years.

“To be honest, Lucas, I was thinking about us..”

“Me, you, and Ten? We’re the greatest of friends to ever grace this land.” Lucas teased, he knew what you meant.

“No..no” you laughed and shook your head. “Me and you.”

“What about ‘me and you?’” He knows what you’re thinking but he wants to hear you say it.

“I-I’m not sure if I want us to..only be friends.” You instantly regretted telling Lucas how you felt. Sure, you felt this way, but what if he didn’t?

“Lucas..wait, I’m sorry, forget I said anyth-“

Lucas leaned forward and took your head in his hands, he placed his lips onto yours for a kiss.

You kissed him back and scooted closer to him. The kiss felt like it moved in slow motion, with each touch of your lips you felt a spark of electricity through your body. You felt your legs become weak as your tongues embraced one another playfully.

It was until a few moments later that you pulled away to breathe.

“We’re here.” You stared at Lucas’ lips as you bit your own.

Lucas quickly gets out of the carriage and opens your door to help you out.

The two of you walk to your door in an awkward silence.

Lucas brushes a hand through his hair and smiles. “I can’t forget..I can’t forget anything you say or do.”

He chuckles as he turns to leave. “What have you done to me? Are you some kind of sorceress?”

You smile. “Please..don’t leave.” You step forward.

Lucas’ lips crash onto yours once more. You stumble into your house and up the stairs. The climb is endless as your staircase is incredibly large.

“My parents... aren’t home.” You say between kisses, you can feel yourself leak in your underwear as Lucas’ large hands hold your waist. You begin to tear off your dress while Lucas shakes off his jacket.

“Perfect.” He holds your hand and stops you from going up any more stairs.

He turns you around and kneels down, taking you with him.

Your back is against his heaving chest, your head is turned towards his as you continue to kiss passionately.

Lucas drags down your dress then pulls his pants down, allowing his cock to spring free.

Your knees meet with the cold stairs during which Lucas pushes your panties to the side. He holds himself up with one hand while the other goes between your legs.

You watch his arms flex and feel like cumming just from the sight.He presses two fingers into your slit, sweeping your juices across the opening while listening to you moan loudly.

Just feeling his touch is enough to make you dizzy. His large body covers yours completely like a singular dark cloud over a small town, except he is light, he is warmth. He makes you feel safe and desired. All you want is to be filled by him, to be loved by him.

His long fingers stretch you out as you lay onto the rigid stairs. Lucas kisses your neck with his plump lips, your body flinching each time his knuckles brush against your clit.

“How do you feel? Are you ready?” He whispers softly before nibbling on your ear.

“Yes, Lucas.”

Lucas takes his fingers away and strokes his member, he taps the tip against your slit before parting your fold slowly and pushing in.

You grip the edge of the stair above you tightly and close your eyes, focusing on adjusting to his length.

He finally fills you completely and begins to move in and out while watching your mouth fall open.

Lucas feels amazing inside you, your velvety walls swallow him up like he’s the perfect fit made just for you.

He places his hand onto the lower part of your stomach, feeling his tip as he pushes into you.

“Fuck.” He curses when you clench.

He moves faster. You start to make that high pitched moan again. Lucas takes your leg and throws it over his shoulder, your body turns to the side so you can now see his face.

He holds onto your ankle tighter. Sweat gracing his forehead as his hair falls into his face.His groans combined with sounds of skin against skin fills the air.

Lucas watches his dick go deeper and deeper into your quivering hole. He takes his fingers and rubs circles into your bud.

“Lucas!” Your back begins to hurt as the edge of the stair digs into it but you can only focus on Lucas pounding into you and dominating your entire body.

“Cum for me.” He demands.

You cum onto him, your pussy pulsating around him as he thrusts into your body a few more times.

He pulls out before releasing strings of cum onto your stomach and thigh.

He pants and lets go of your leg. You lay back onto the stairs to collect yourself. Just then, Lucas takes your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours. He leans down and kisses you.

“I think I love you,” Lucas lets out.

You give a small smile. “I love you too, Lucas..but, this feels..wrong.”

“What do you mean?” His brows furrow and he lifts himself from you.

He doesn’t know that you’ve already done this with Ten, he’s not the only one. You can’t commit to him if you’ve already been unfaithful..or could you?

“We can’t..do this..I love you and I love Ten. I-“You shake your head, you’re so confused, you don’t know what to say.

“I understand.” Lucas stands up and fixes his pants.

“Lucas..wait.” You reach out for his hand but he hands you your dress instead.

“I’ll see you soon.” He states before heading out, never turning to see your teary face.

And so you thought that was the end of it, but it was far from over.

You and Lucas would go on to engage in sex for the coming months, sneaking off into hallways or into empty rooms and even the bath. You couldn’t get enough of each other. But you never told Ten, you knew he would be furious.

No one knows about you and Lucas, not your parents, and certainly not Ten. Ten had been distancing himself for some time, and neither you nor Lucas were sure why. He would rarely make time for you since that time you two had “lunch.” Did he know about you and Lucas? Did he take your answer as a no?

As far as you knew, you were secretly dating Lucas but Ten thought the three of you were still in a simple friendship. It felt wrong, but it felt right.

———

[AUGUST 1984]

You’re woken up by a hard pounding on your bedroom door.

“Yes?” You yell out.

“y/n..it’s Ten..he’s here with bad news.” Your mother states softly.

You quickly threw on a dress and headed down the stairs with your mother.

You see Ten at the door, his eyes are red, like he’s been crying for a long time.

You felt your body begin to shake. Did he find out? Did Lucas break down and tell him? You couldn’t bear to see him like this, especially if you were the reason behind his sadness.

“Ten? What’s wrong?”

“It’s my father..he’s...passed away.”

“Oh Ten..” you immediately open your arms up and hug him. “I’m so sorry.”

He holds you close for a while as you both cry.

————

[OCTOBER 1894]

You never left Ten’s side, you cried with him, made sure he ate, and even slept with him. It would start off with a kiss then lead to something else. You enjoyed the sex but you also just wanted him to feel better.

Lucas would stop by Ten’s place every now and then, but would leave after only an hour or so. You didn’t expect him to be like this especially since he was also Ten’s best friend.

The truth was that after the first two weeks, Lucas didn’t see why you had to be by Ten all the time, every hour of the day. But worst of all, he speculated that you had been sleeping with Ten as well. He had no proof but one night he stayed nearby, waiting to see if you would leave Ten to go to your home.

But you never left.

The next day, he pulled you outside to talk to you. You rubbed your neck and looked to the ground. “What’s wrong, Lucas?”

“y/n..it’s been two months, isn’t this a bit much?” He was angry, his jaw clenched and eyes narrow as they bore into yours.

“Lucas..he lost his father. You know how much he meant to him, how can you even say that?”

Lucas looked away and grit his teeth.

“Who are we to say how long one’s grieving period is?” You scoffed and looked to the side, exposing the hickeys on your neck in the process. “He was staying away from us because he knew that his father was dying, Lucas. He spent his time watching his strong father wither away to nothing, it was and still is difficult for him.”

Lucas looked back at you and spotted the marks, confirming his suspicions.

“y/n..is that bastard forcing you to have sex with him?” Lucas brows furrowed, his fists closed tightly.

“W-what?” You make a look of disgust that made Lucas realize how ridiculous his statement may have sounded.

“The love bites on your neck..did a ghost do that?”

“Lucas..don’t..” you scoff and shake your head.

Lucas looks away, licking his lips while he tries to stay calm.“You think fucking him will make him happier? You think that’ll stop him from thinking of his dead father?!”

“Lucas!” You slap him.

“He’s using you! He just wants to be close with you!” Lucas yells now, you were afraid that Ten would’ve heard him upstairs.

“What’s the matter?” A calm voice startles you from behind. You turned around, it was Ten’s mother.

She looks at you then to Lucas, her facing turning dark and grim. She looks repulsed by the sight of Lucas. She probably heard what he said about her son.

“Nothing..Lucas was just leaving.” You turn to him and shake your head.

He huffs, but turns away swiftly.

“That fool.” The queen scoffed when she realized that he didn’t bow nor bother to acknowledge her presence, a grave mistake on his part.

But you walked up to Ten’s room, holding back tears. How could Lucas be this way? He was trying to tell you that Ten was using you, but that couldn’t be true. You were his friend, you were doing what you could to ease the pain of his loss.

Lucas’ words ran through your mind even as you rode Ten that night. The swivel of your hips, the bouncing of your naked breasts, the glow of your body in the dim light of his room, it all made him weak for you. He bit his lips to hold back a loud groan. But as he got closer, he couldn’t help but notice that you were distracted.

“What’s wrong, my love?” Ten asked, his hands running up and down your thighs as he brows furrow.

“Nothing..it's nothing..I’m just a bit tired.” You place your hands onto his chest and focus on the building pleasure in your core.

Ten raises his eyebrows and shifts on the bed, stopping you by taking your wrists into his hand

“I’ll take over then.” He flips you over quickly, immediately pushing deeper into you.

A breath leaves your chest as your mouth falls open. Ten moves faster while rubbing your clit. “How do you feel now? Any better?”

“Oh, God..yes, Ten.” Your eyes shut tightly.

Based on your moans and clenched jaw, he knows he has successfully gained your complete attention and he couldn’t be more satisfied. Feeling you fall into him night by night was all that mattered. He wanted to be close to you, feel you..to love and be loved by you.

“Thank you..for everything.” Ten whispered softly into your ear, sliding his cock out of you and laying down beside you as you came down from your climax. The two of you cuddled and fell asleep shortly after.

He didn’t say anything about the conversation you and Lucas had downstairs so you assumed he hadn’t heard.

But the truth was..he watched and listened to everything. He heard what Lucas accused him of doing, and now he saw his true colors. 

———

[Two Weeks Later] 

Letters detailing a new order from the widowed queen have been issued to all sub royals in the land. The king and the queen, Ten’s parents, are the highest royals and their orders can never be overturned or challenged. Anything they say, must go because of their family name.

Their letters usually listed new laws that dealt with taxes and such, but every now and then, they detailed a new marriage to be set for a bachelor and bachelorette so that they may merge their houses and operate as one.

“y/n..we’ve received a letter from the Queen, have you heard about this?” Your mother entered your room as you got ready to go to Ten’s house.

“No..what does it say?” You took the letter from her as she gulped.

Your brows knitted at her expression. You looked at the piece of paper and read it out loud.

“‘Dear citizens, it is imperative that a marriage be conducted within the arrival of the next month. The graduation of our finest gentlemen and ladies has allowed them to move forward to becoming profound and hardworking adult citizens of this land. However, we must combine two powerful houses for maximum impact and success. Prince Lucas of the Wong family and Princess Rosé of the Park family will be the first couple to be wed. Once the wedding ceremony is complete, the newlyweds will live in the Park family estate to fulfill their duties for their own precious citizens. Congratulations, and I look forward to a grand celebration for the unification of these two houses.’”

The paper falls to the floor as your hand grows weak. “No..no no..this can’t..this can’t happen.” Your eyes start to water. Lucas, the one you loved so dearly, was now set to be married to another. How could Ten’s mother make such an abrupt order without a consultation with Lucas first?

“Honey..I know you liked him, but it was bound to happen..” Your mother places her hands on your shoulders.

“No..no this isn’t right. The pairing ceremony was postponed indefinitely..We-were supposed to meet eligible mates in a few months..How-Why would she do this?”

“It’s not our duty to question the Queen, y/n. I’m sorry, but there is nothing we can do.”

“No, there has to be something. I have to- I have to talk to Ten.” You jump up and run to your chariot without fixing your hair.

On the way there, you couldn’t calm your thoughts. You wanted to be with Lucas, you loved him. And now he would have to marry someone else and live far away.

Tears ran down your cheeks as you sobbed uncontrollably. The only way that you would be able to see Lucas is to take a train to him.

Flashes of his bright smile stained your thoughts, you only saw him as you panted.

You finally reached Ten’s place. You banged on the door and waited for the doorman to open it. Once inside, you immediately ran up to Ten’s room. But he wasn’t there.

“Ten!” You called out.

You spun around, and was shocked to find him standing there with a small smile on his face.

“What’s wrong, darling?”

“Ten! Your mother..the-the Queen, She’s sending Lucas away, she can’t do that, please don’t let her do that to us.” You choked out as more tears escaped.

Ten wasn’t sure what you meant by ‘us.’ Did you mean the three of you? Or you and Lucas.

Ten nodded and hugged you tightly. “Shhh it’s gonna be okay..I tried already y/n..I tried, but she won’t listen to me. She knows that he’s my best friend and what sending him so far away would do to me..but I couldn’t stop her.”

“Oh God, Ten.. I’m so sad.”

“I know..I am too.” Ten states. A devilish smile covering his face as you cry onto his shoulder.

———

[NOVEMBER 1894]

It’s the day after Lucas and Rosé’s wedding that you and Lucas escape to the tree for one last moment together.

You make love one final time. His back resting against the tree trunk as you kneel over his lap, your body shaking as it approaches its climax. The sun is beaming, the breeze is light and the shade under the blooming tree allows for a perfect balance of heat and coldness.

Lucas grips your thighs as you ride him, pushing up the fabric of your dress slowly. He kisses your neck while you cry.

The two of you spoke about the morning shortly before. You apologized for slapping him and he apologized for being self-centered.

“I love you..” he whispers onto your chest before pulling down the top of it for your breast to fall out.

He lets his tongue out, circling around the firm nipple. “I love you..too,” you let out through ragged breaths.

“Oh..Lucas!” You cry out and release onto him, he bucks his hips upward and into you as you tighten.

He then lifts you off of him and cums onto your thigh.

You sit beside him and rest your head onto his shoulder as you look out at the lake, taking in your final intimate moments with him.

“Please..don’t forget that I love you. I’m not far away.. and Ten..he’ll take care of you for me.”

Lucas runs his fingers along your arm while holding you close. He doubted Ten’s intentions, he had a feeling that it was he who told his mother to conjure up such an abrupt order, but he had no proof. And could his best friend really do that to him?

He could only hope that you would be safe and happy without him there.

It wasn’t customary or even “okay” for a woman to visit a man that had recently been married, but Lucas wanted to be with you..he had to be with you, and he was determined to find a way.

You send Lucas off and take different carriages. You cried but you’re also hopeful that you will see him again.

Later that evening, you have dinner with Ten. Your mind is empty, you don’t speak at all and Ten knows that it’s because you’re thinking of Lucas.

“y/n...you’ll see him again, I promise.. We will visit them as soon as they get settled.” He reaches out and places a hand on yours.

“I..just need time.” You say before taking a sip of your champagne.

“You’ve made me the happiest man, y/n..” Ten gives your hand a light squeeze. “And..the Queen must overturn her power to me, the upcoming King, for she is not fit to rule. But she can’t do that until I am married.”

“There are many Princesses competing for your hand, Ten. I see them practically tear each other’s heads apart once you’re mentioned.”

“I know, but there’s only one that I want.” Ten smiles and it makes your heart race. All you could think about was Lucas but you couldn’t deny the fact that a part of you loved Ten too, you didn’t want to hurt him.

“Ten..” You looked away.

“Marry me..I promise to make you as happy as you’ve made me for the rest of your life.”

“I-now’s not the time.” You pulled your hand away.

“Why not? I want you and you want me, right? Just say yes and all this could be yours, you can see Lucas whenever you want because you’d be the Queen.”

“Ten..I know..I know that, but I’m not sure-“

“What do you mean you’re not sure?” Ten stood up from his chair. “Who else is gonna love you like I do? Who else is gonna give you everything you ask for and more?”

“Ten..it’s not that..” you say back in your chair and stare at the table, your already meek  appetite fleeting even further.

“You’re not sure? That’s not what you said when I was fucking your brains out just last week!”

“Ten!” You jumped up from your chair. “If you think I’ll marry you when you talk about me like that in front of your servants, you’re crazy! The answer is no!”

You left his house hurriedly, heading to your carriage and signaling for the driver’s attention.

Ten ran after you. “y/n..I’m sorry, I was upset. Please just..listen to me.”

You shut the door before wiping the tears from your eyes. 

———

[DECEMBER 1984]

You hadn’t been back to Ten’s house since that night. You spent your time alone, caring for yourself and reading books about the land. You had to be prepared to be a good princess and leader. You had to know the laws.

Your mother would also help you when she had time.

“Did any mail come for me?” You ask every day at the same time, hoping for a letter from Lucas.

Your mother sighs. “No, dear”

She sits on the edge of the bed. “You know..if you want to talk to him..you should just visit. I hear the Park Family will be taking a tour of the villages tomorrow. Lucas won’t be present though as he must train more.”

“H-how did you know?”

“I know love when I see it, dear. From the way the two of you looked at each other during the wedding ceremony..I knew.”

You sighed. “Ten proposed to me..but I said..”

“No. I know you did, because deep down, you feel that your heart belongs to someone else. But my dear, the most difficult part of being a princess or queen, is emptying your heart of all love that it has just to make someone else happy, even if that someone else is not the one that owns your heart.”

You sighed. Your mother’s words were filled with the truth, and even though it hurt, you needed to hear it.

“Ten loves you, that much I know. Lucas loves you too, but that door has closed. And now, another one is open..you shouldn’t waste your precious time banging on the closed door.”

You nodded.

“With that being said..there’s a train that leaves the day after tomorrow. You should see Lucas one more time and say goodbye, for your sanity, you must cut all ties with him and let him go.” 

————

[Two Days Later] 

You gave the door a light knock and waited for an answer.

“Ahhh. Princess y/n..fancy seeing you here!” The doorman’s eyes widened. “It was quite a ride, wasn’t it?”

You smiled. ��Hello. Yes, I’m very tired. But I’m thankful to be safe. Is Lucas here?”

He nodded. “Yes. I believe he is reading by that tree over there.”

You walked slowly towards Lucas, his long legs lay on the grass below the tremendous tree.

“Do you hang out by trees because you’re tall like one?” You asked as you got closer.

Lucas laughed out and put his book down, he turned towards you and smiled so brightly you thought he would outshine the sun itself.

“y/n!” He jumped up and ran towards you, his large arms pulling you into his bear hug.

“I’m so happy to see you.. how have you been?” Lucas searches your eyes.

“I’ve been..okay.” You weren’t doing great without him.

“Me too..” Lucas leans down to your face. He wants to kiss you deeply, without end. But he knows the workers around have wandering eyes, he knows they will tell not only Rosé, but her parents as well.

“What’s going on Lucas, why are you here and not closer to your own hometown?”

“Come..sit, we need to talk.” Lucas sits back down and pats the space on the ground beside him.

His expression turns serious as he turns to you.

“I..am stuck in this marriage, y/n. I know you want us to be together, but we can’t. If I leave Rosé, I will be forced to live as a beggar.” Lucas swallows hard.

Your brows are knitted but you then laugh out. “You can’t be serious.. you’re royalty! Leaving her would never turn you into a beggar!”

Lucas shakes his head. “That’s not it, y/n.”

You look to the ground, puzzled as to what he meant.

“I was told that my father, King Wong, was killed in battle when I was 8 years old. The King, Ten’s father, retrieved me and decided to raise me in his kingdom as a gift to my deceased father. The king thought it would be best for me to join him and receive a great education and train to become a royal commanding officer for his kingdom. My mother, however, had to stay while I was taken care of by a caretaker.”

“Your mother is still alive?” You looked up at him and gasped, shocked that he had lied to you.

“Yes.. I’m sorry I lied to you for all this time, but I had to, that is what the King told me to do to ensure my mother's safety. He told me to tell everyone that both of my parents died and that the Wong estate is thousands of miles away when in reality, it doesn’t even exist. He said that if I told everyone this he would take care of me and my mother, so I did.”

“Why—why would he do that?” You shook your head.

“Well, y/n..my mother wrote me a letter once I got here. She received news of my marriage and was disappointed that she could not attend the ceremony, but she sent me this letter through a private courier so that I could now know the truth.”

Lucas flipped through the book and opened the page to the spot where he hid the letter. He handed it to you.

“My mother is a commoner that was loved by the king himself. The king would travel to fulfill his duties while the queen stayed home and raised Ten. And during his travels, he met my mother and fell in love. She became pregnant with me. My real father..is the king.”

Your eyes widened as you looked at the note you held.

“You and Ten are—half brothers?”

“Shhh..no one can know, okay?”

You nodded quickly.

“The king sent my mother money every month with a courier to ensure that we would be well off and keep our mouths shut. We couldn’t tell anyone and even if we did, no one would believe us anyway so my mother agreed. When the king retrieved me, he already knew that he had an incurable illness, that’s why he felt it best for me to live with him. He knew that I could take care of my mother if I received royal status before he passed away. My mother married someone else and has another son, YangYang, that she takes care of. But y/n...”

“Y-yes..” you lean forward on both knees.

“The queen sent me away because she feared that my mother would come forward with the truth, thus keeping Ten from becoming King. And now that the King has died, the Queen has also stopped the courier and my mother no longer receives monthly allowances, she’s poor y/n. I cannot help her or my brother, for Rosé will notice and question everything.”

“I will help you, I will do everything I can Lucas.”

“No-no this isn’t your problem. I have to find a way to appease the Queen.”

“Lucas, you know how stubborn she is. She won’t help you.” It all made sense now, why the Queen despised Lucas. She knows that he’s a product of her husband's infidelity.

“I’ll get you the money..you just have to give me time, okay?” You weren’t sure how you were going to do that, but you had an idea. You love Lucas and as bizarre as this all sounded, you trust him and know that you have to help.

—————

[Two Days Later]

You knock on Ten’s door, anxiously awaiting for his doorman to open the door.

But it’s Ten that answers. He looks tired, his eyes are red, but he still looks handsome in his suit and pushed back hair

“Ten..we need to talk.” You step forward.

“y/n..sweetheart..it’s about time.” He smiles from ear to ear, his breath reeking of alcohol.

You push your way inside and shut the door.

“It’s urgent, I need your help.”

“You need MY help?” Ten plops down in his study as you sit beside him on the loveseat.

“I went to see Lucas and-“

“Ahh..yes I know..I know you went to see him, but I’ll keep it a secret. You just couldn’t wait for Rosé to leave so you could fuck him. What happened to ‘let’s remain friends’?”

“Ten, you’re an asshole. He’s my best friend too. How dare you talk to me like I’m some slut or something!”

“I went to him because he sent for me, he asked for my help.” You lied, but you just wanted Ten to listen to you, because you really needed him. You had thought about using your own family money but you knew that your mother would find out the truth and tell the kingdom.

So Ten was your only option.

“Here..drink some water.” You poured him a glass of water from the sink in the corner of the room.

He gulped it down and watched your figure as you sat on the seat across from him now. He wished you would sit beside him again, he wished he could touch you.

“Lucas is your half brother, Ten.”

Ten gulps down the water, his eyes widen and his grip on the glass weakens.

“You’re messing with me, is this your revenge?” He places the glass on a coffee table.

“No..I’m not.” 

You go on to tell him everything Lucas tells you, explaining how his very own father impregnated a commoner when he was two and a half years old.

Ten was devastated by the news, becoming shocked and disgusted that he experienced such sexual intimacy with someone he was related to by blood.

“Now, his family needs monetary help.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Ten looks at his nails.

“Ten! How could you ask that? Lucas is your best friend too, you wouldn’t want his family to suffer just because your father lied and cheated and your mother is self-centered and jealous?”

Ten’s eyes flickered up to you, giving you a dark expression that made you swallow hard. “Be careful, darling”

“I’m sorry...I’m just worried.” You looked to the side and rocked forward and backward as a million thoughts ran through your mind.

“Well, it seems there is something that you want that I have, and there is something that I want that you have..what should we do?” Ten smirks.

You shake your head as you realize what he is implying. “I...”

“I’ll take care of his mother and brother, y/n..but only if you promise to marry me next month. What do you say?”

“Ten—“ You start but your mother's words danced in your head.

“Yes or no, sweetheart. Don’t waste my time.” He stands up and walks towards you. He takes your face in his hands and tilts it upward so you have to look up at him. “It would be so sad if Lucas loses yet another parent this year..”

You bit your lips.

Ten traces the side of your face with his thumb, sending chills down your spine.

“So..y/n?”

You look up at him through your lashes and nod. “I’ll do it, I’ll marry you.”

————

[JANUARY 1895]

The news of your marriage to King Ten spread like wildfire across the Kingdom of Hearts. Many townspeople were not surprised at this development for your family was one of the closest allies to the Lee family. Also, Ten never made it a secret how much he was drawn to you. It was only a matter of when and where you would get married. Your parents were thrilled at the match as your family’s status would be elevated even more in the kingdom. You were happy in the sense that your family would be provided for but you were even more thankful for Ten’s promise to provide for Lucas’ family.

The Queen, Ten’s mother, was less than thrilled at the match. It seems as though she was aware that you also had feelings for Lucas. She never discussed it with you but what else could explain her animosity towards you when you were Ten’s best friend for all of these years? Queen Lee swallowed her pride and, for the sake of her son, begrudgingly blessed the marriage.

You had an entire team of ladies’ maids at your beck and call preparing you for the ceremony. Your A-line white gown was made of the finest fabrics the continent had to offer. The train of the dress was laced with some diamonds and pearls. Your fitted bodice was also laced with jewels so that the shape of a butterfly ran down to your waist. The Lee family spared no expense to make this the wedding of the millennium. It was definitely one for the books. Your dress was just the tip of the iceberg.

Your mother was on the verge of tears as she helped you fit your cathedral-length veil. The veil ran all the way down to the train of your dress. You gulped, worried that you would trip and humiliate yourself in front of the entire palace.

“My dear daughter, I am so happy for you,” she said as she kissed your cheek and fixed a couple of loose strands of hair from your face.

Part of you was a bit resentful to hear these words from your mother. No one had ever bothered to ask if this was what you truly wanted. What made you change your mind so quickly when you were adamant of your refusal to marry Ten when he first asked. Why would they? It would be ludicrous for you not to marry the most powerful man on the planet. He was gorgeous and ethereal. He was your best friend. He was destined to be in your life forever. You wouldn’t be surprised if your bond remained in the after life, if it existed.

But you and Ten knew the truth. You came to an agreement: you wanted to protect Lucas and Ten wanted you.

Your ladies’ maids led you to the entrance of the cathedral where Ten and the most elite of the kingdom awaited your entrance. You stood in front of the grand double-doors. You were to walk alone down the imposing aisle to meet your fate.

The doors opened and all eyes were on you. A few people gasped. You were a sight to behold and everyone knew it.

And for a moment, you let yourself imagine that Lucas was waiting for you at the end of the aisle. Looking the most lethal he ever has in a tuxedo with his hair slicked back. His smile beaming bright and his eyes crinkling like they always did when he was with you.

Your heart ached, thinking of what could’ve been. It was a good thing Lucas and Princess Rosé couldn’t attend the wedding or else you weren’t sure you could make yourself walk down that aisle.

You looked down the aisle towards Ten whose smile was bigger than you’d ever seen it. He was radiant in this three-piece suit, looking so impeccable and dashing. He had never been so happy than he was at this moment. His biggest dream was finally coming true. You would be all his. His eyes never left you.

You moved gracefully as the string quartet played you in. You kept your eyes straight and concentrated on maintaining your posture. You felt the whispers and gasps as you passed. You could even feel the daggers your future mother-in-law’s eyes shot at you. You pushed it all out of your mind.  You couldn’t afford to fall.

You didn’t want to humiliate yourself. And your family wouldn’t be able to stomach it either. The last person you wanted to give that satisfaction to was Queen Lee. You hoped the marriage and your new title would force her to grant you some respect.

Once you reached the end of the aisle, Ten whispered in your ear. “You are the most stunning creature, my darling.”

You looked Ten dead in the eye, truly looking at him for the first time today. Your heart ached for how you were feeling. You loved Ten. It wasn’t like it would be a loveless marriage. He was your best friend. He was elegant and gorgeous. He would always be there for you. So even if Lucas lingered in your thoughts, you had to let him go and open your heart to Ten.

“Th-Thank you, Your Majesty. You look incredible,” you replied.

He chuckled at hearing you address him so formally. He always insisted you just call him Ten even after his coronation. You broke a deal when you told him you would address him informally behind closed doors. He accepted because he wanted to spend a lot of time with you behind closed doors.

“All eyes are on you, my sweet,” he moved closer to your ear. “You smell intoxicating. This ceremony better move quickly because my patience is wearing thin. And you know what happens when my patience runs thin.”

The minister opened his scripture and began. “Dearly beloved of the Kingdom of Hearts, we are gathered here today to join this king and this princess in holy matrimony.”

He continued. “Now we will begin the exchange of vows. Your Majesty, you may go first.”

Ten sighed dreamily as he looked at you. “Princess y/n, I’ve loved you for such a long time. When we first met, I thought you were spying on me outside of the schoolyard. I had no idea we would reach this moment years later.”

The crowd cooed and laughed at his tale. Your heart almost stopped at his lack of mentioning Lucas for he was a crucial part of the story. Did he have to write Lucas out of the narrative like that? You couldn’t let your frustration show on your face. This was a happy occasion, you reminded yourself for the umpteenth time.

“Sweetheart, you have been my confidante and my best friend in the world. You have given me so much joy and motivation to be the best man I can be and now the best leader I can be to this country. I’m honored to have you as my queen. I adore you. I will love you for all of my days and be loyal to you. Only. You.”

The minister said, “Thank you, Your Majesty. Your Highness, you may begin.”

You nodded, knowing you could not falter with your speech. You were thankful to Ten for his kind words. He truly loved you. You began. “Your Majesty, you have always felt like home to me. You and Lucas…”

You didn’t realize your slip of the tongue and to refer to Lucas so casually...That wasn’t good. Ten’s dazzling smile faltered for a moment but he didn’t let it slip completely.

You took a quick pause and continued. “You and our dearest friends have made my life so much more wonderful. I have never felt alone because of you. You have been my partner in crime and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else but you. I love you so much, darling. I will be devoted to you until my last breath.”

A tear escaped your eye. You were a mix of emotions. Joy at marrying your best friend and sadness over the absence of Lucas.

Ten reached over and wiped your tear away. “My darling y/n…”

“Thank you, Princess y/n,” the minister continued. “Your Majesty, do you take Princess y/n to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

Ten smiled fondly at you. “I do.”

“And do you, Your Highness, take King Ten to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

You forced yourself to give the brightest smile you could muster. “I do.”

“I now pronounce you King and Queen of Hearts. You may kiss the bride.”

The crowd rejoiced as Ten moved closer to you, held your face with both of his hands, and pulled you in for a tender kiss. As you leaned back, your veil almost fell over. You returned his kiss, recalling all of the euphoric moments you and Ten have spent together. You pushed Lucas to the back of your mind for both his and your sake. So Ten wouldn’t grow suspicious. You didn’t want to spoil this day. This moment. Ten was doing you a huge favor. And you needed to play your role to perfection: as a loving and devoted Queen to her King.

————

On the eve of your honeymoon, You and Ten arrive at his vacation home at the beach where you will spend a week with him. You were in a simpler yellow sundress that went down to your knees. The sight of your legs nearly sent Ten in a frenzy. He was in casual clothes as well, his shirt unbuttoned three buttons down. A flame ignited inside of you at the sight of him so relaxed.

Oh, dearest Ten, you loved him so much, you reminded yourself. And he loved you with a depth you could never fathom.

Ten sent the servants away for the evening so that you two could be alone at the estate. He carried you up the staircase and you giggled.

“You finally relaxed,” Ten said, his voice light and free.

“You better not drop me.” You laughed. “Or did you not train enough with the royal commanding army?”

Ten faked shock. “How dare you defy your king, Your Majesty?”

You could not believe your ears at what he just called you. It was a reminder of the choice you’ve made. That you could never go back on. You pushed that thought away. “I think your queen can take some liberties, can’t she?”

Ten reached the top of the staircase and ran into your chambers. It had the finest fabrics and pieces of furniture that were merely there for decoration. The ceilings ran high. The open windows brought in the ocean breeze and the crashing of the waves. You ran out to the balcony and looked out to the beach. The moon hung low in the sky, a bright yellow that matched your dress. You haven’t been to the beach in years because of school, etiquette classes, balls, and more. The last time you escaped to the beach was when you, Ten, and Lucas ran away from home and had your own little celebration after classes ended the year you three met.

Ten wrapped his arms around you from behind. “I get to spend the rest of my life with the most enchanting woman in the world.”

Your face heats up at his words. He was being incredibly gentle and caring.

“How will I restrain myself now?” He says quietly into your ear, making your legs weak.

Or so you thought.

“Ten-”

His fingers crept down to your heat as he kissed your neck. “I hope you’re ready, y/n, because I don’t intend to let you go.”

He spun you around and kissed you, causing your back to bend and lean against the balcony. If you and Ten weren’t careful, you both could fall over. You returned his kiss and pushed him back into the bedroom.

“What?” He laughed. “You thought I would let you fall? How little faith you have in me, wife.”

You embraced him and abruptly rubbed your hand against his bulge. He hissed as he pulled his pants down. His cock sprung up. You bent down to the floor.

Ten stopped you. “Get up, darling. You will kneel on the bed. A queen does not kneel on the floor. Especially not mine.”

He helped you up from the plush carpet and brought you onto the bed. He stood up on the bed, waiting for you to please him.

You decided to be playful. “You’re so considerate, dear. I should prepare you a plate of your favorite cake. I’ll be right back.” You made a show of walking out of the room.

“Hey!” Ten started.

You giggled. Standing right outside the door of the bedchamber, you counted to ten.

“y/n, get back here this instant!” Ten whined, sounding needier and needier each second that passed.

Once you reached the number ten, you ran back in and jumped on the bed, pouncing on Ten and crashing into the soft pillows. You held Ten’s face. “I’m sorry...Was that mean?”

He pouted like a petulant schoolboy. “You will pay.” Swiftly, he pulled your skirt up and reached inside of your undergarments. His fingers tip tapped against your entrance.

“You’re soaked, sweetheart,” he said as you stood still. Ten’s touch always sent you through the roof. When he removed his fingers from your apex, you whined.

“Don’t pout. You brought this on yourself,” he said as he moved on top of you and kissed you again. He squeezed your nipples that poked against your dress. You groaned at the pleasant sensation.

Your hands grabbed his cock and started working it. Drops of precum slipped down to your fingers. You worked harder as Ten grunted against your mouth.

“I don’t know about you, y/n but I’m wide awake,” Ten said as you both finished.

You laid your head against his broad chest and felt the steady beat of his heart. “Are you now?”

Ten laughed and you could feel the rumble coming from his chest. “Do you want something to eat?”

His sweetness didn’t stop at his tender loving, you thought. But then he interrupted your thoughts.

He said, “I need you to have the stamina for the night I have planned for you.”

You got up from his chest and saw a wicked smile on his face. Knowing Ten, he was capable of going at it with you all hours of the night and the evening had only just begun.

————

[FEBRUARY 1895]

Upon returning from your honeymoon, you and Ten returned well-rested and well-fucked. Ten began his duties as King, including tying up some loose ends that his father left to him to complete and draw up revisions for the laws of the kingdom. You were to attend to visiting the townspeople and participating in social events that would elevate the kingdom’s status in the continent. As promised, Ten was providing financial support to Lucas’ family. Lucas sent you a letter of gratitude to your family’s house. You didn’t have to analyze the letter without Ten getting suspicious. He was with you a lot of the time those first few weeks.

Ten’s mother still grieved for the loss of her husband and upon seeing you, she would be cold and condescending. Regardless of the crown on your head, you were still a social-climbing wannabe to her. She still didn’t approve and you simply swallowed it. You didn’t want to drive a wedge between Ten and his mother so you silently took it.

Ten was sweeter to you than he’d ever been. Now that Lucas was out of the picture, he didn’t feel any sort of threat that would take you away from him. He could relax. He could rule his kingdom, honor his father’s legacy, and begin a perfect life with you.

For the first weeks, you and Ten made love and fell asleep in each other’s arms. You laughed and bickered like an old married couple at some points. Ten let his guard down with you, letting you know of his worries over the kingdom and whether or not he was doing a good job in his father’s stead. You gave him affirmation that he was bringing even more honor to his family and to his people.

As Ten got busier and busier with his duties, you began to see him less, which allowed you time to think of Lucas. Your heart ached. Now you both were married and your chances of ever being together have vanished. Tears fell down to the skirt of your dress.

You decided to visit your family one day. Your mother prepared your favorite tomato soup. It was a family recipe. Your mother always made it for you when you felt troubled.

“You haven’t forgotten him, y/n,” your mother said calmly as she poured herself a glass of water. You knew who she referred to.

You sighed. “How can I? I loved him, mother. I still-”

Your mother shushed you. “You’re queen now, y/n. All eyes and ears are on you. I don’t want you to land in hot water because of one thing you said on impulse. Now...how is your dear husband these days?”

You caught up with your mother about the status of the kingdom and how kind Ten had been to you these days. You had some time to explore your old chambers in your childhood estate. Your desk sat right by the large window where you could look up at the stars. You decided to write a letter to Lucas. You hadn’t heard from him since he sent the letter confirming that his family was being taken care of. You made sure the letter was addressed from your childhood home so it couldn’t get traced back to the kingdom.

Dear Lucas,

How are you? How are things in the Park Estate these days? It’s getting colder here. The first snowfall is happening any day now. I’m pretty excited. The palace finally starts preparing the hot chocolate you love so much. I wish you could be here...Anyways...Being queen hasn’t been that bad. I haven’t been suspended from my duties as of now so I’d say there is still hope for me yet. I wish you well and hope you can respond to me soon.

                                                                                Yours,                                                                                     y/n

You asked your mother to send the letter to Lucas on your behalf. She gave you a look but gave in. You thanked her, had dinner with your parents, and returned to the palace.

A week later, your mother asked you to come over so you can help her redecorate the common room. It turned out to be a cover. “A letter came for you today. From Prince Lucas,” she said as she handed the letter to you. She sat down on the couch by the lit fireplace.

Your heart soared at this news and you ran up the stairs like an excited school girl. You locked yourself in your old bedroom, sat down at your desk, and opened the letter.

Dear y/n,

I miss you so much. You have no idea. Things for me...Well, I cannot complain. My mother, her husband, and my half-brother Yangyang are living in a lap of luxury in their small town. Yangyang will be able to train in the Royal Commanding Army soon. He’s thrilled beyond belief, saying he owes it all to me...When in reality, we owe it all to you. Thank you so much for convincing Ten to help my family out. I know what you did for me. I will always be thankful. Just as I will always love you. I wish we could be together during the first snowfall. We could’ve made my caretaker take the night off and I would’ve had my way with you at my old estate. If things had been different, huh? I’ll think of you during the first snowfall here, y/n. Please stay safe. I’m so glad to hear things are going well for you. I hope you can write to me again soon. Your words mean everything and more to me.

                                                                           Yours always,                                                                                       Lucas

Your tears fell at his declaration of his eternal love for you. How you wished things had been different. You decided to keep this letter hidden in your old home so that Ten could never chance himself at finding it. God knows what he would do if he did.

————

[MARCH 1895]

A month passed since you received Lucas’ letter. You two had gone back and forth several times since then. You were overjoyed that Lucas would be attending the kingdom’s upcoming Take Over the Moon Ball to celebrate the lunar eclipse. Princess Rosé would be joining him and while that made you ache with jealousy, you remembered once again that you also were spoken for. In the most permanent manner.

The festivities of the palace extended to the rest of the kingdom. There were firecrackers being launched to the sky. Children played on the streets with life-sized papier-mache dragons. Vendors were making a killing with food, costumes, and spirits. Everyone was ecstatic to witness the lunar eclipse. You were ecstatic to see Lucas again and Ten knew it. There was a spring in your step as you kissed Ten good morning the day of the ball. You two lied in bed together. He hugged your naked body from behind as his cock was nestled inside your rear.  

“You’re in a good mood,” Ten said in a teasing manner.

“I love this time of the year,” you admitted. It was part of the truth.

“I know you do. I expect to find you passed out on the dance floor before the night is over. Just like last year.” He smirked.

You laughed. “And you? You’re bound to take your shirt off and wave it like a flag at the balcony, greeting the townspeople once again. You’ll be sure to give some people a thrill.”

“y/n, I’m king now. I’m not going to-“

“Sure, sure...Keep on believing that a title change means that you won’t get drunk out of your wits, darling,” you joked.

Ten pulled himself out of you and turned you around. The look in his eyes was so familiar to you. He hungered for you. The carnal longing for you never ceased. Your heart raced and the heat between your legs increased. He nibbled at your neck and gave you a silent nod. You knew he was about to make love to you again. At least once before you two had to get dressed for your daytime Eclipse activities.

Someone knocked at the door. Ten frowned at the interruption but today was a day packed with activities for the royals. They couldn’t shirk their duties no matter how much they wanted to indulge in their private affairs.

Ten sighed and kissed your forehead. “Tonight. When the ball ends and we send off the last guest, you’re mine.”

Hours passed and you were about to be announced into the ball. The ballroom’s floor-to-ceiling windows brought in images of the starry night and the fireworks in the sky. The skylight gave the party a good view of the moon so you could dance the night away as the eclipse occurred.

Ten stood beside you. He was dressed in his navy blue winter attire with red accents. His golden crown was at the top of his perfectly coiffed hair. You stood beside him in a satin red ball gown. Your golden crown was accented with rubies. You two matched in the kingdom’s official color: red.

“Announcing His Royal Majesty and Her Royal Majesty, King Ten and Queen y/n,” the announcer announced to the guests in the ballroom.

You and Ten stood on top of the grand staircase. He offered his arm to you and you took it. You both walked down with poise and confidence. You would always be the envy of all of the women in the kingdom. You tried not to let the glares get to you. Ten was beaming with pride and victory, presenting you as his woman, his queen, his wife. The whole world needed to know that you belonged to him and no one else.

Meanwhile, you couldn’t help but scan the room for Lucas and met his warm brown eyes that already found yours. He looked at you in fascination, his mouth agape. Right by his side was his wife, Princess Rosé. She smiled at you out of sheer politeness, never having met you before but knowing you and Lucas were once close.

You couldn’t read her well but knew enough not to focus on them for too long or else others (and Ten) would get suspicious. All eyes were always on you after all..and part of you dreaded it, especially now.

Lucas was spellbound at the sight of you. Your hair was tied up into an elegant bun. Your crown suited you, he thought. You were meant to be queen. How much it hurt him that he couldn’t be the one beside you.

When you reached the bottom of the steps, Ten led you to the center of the dancefloor to begin the first dance of the night. Ten was an excellent dancer so those in attendance were in for a treat. Ten took you into his arms and spun you around to a joyful tune as the live band played. You fancied yourself a good dancer but even you struggled to keep up with Ten’s precision at times. Your nerves caused you to step on his foot. You gasped and felt a collective hush from the crowd as they watched.

You put your hands over your mouth as you pulled away from Ten. “Your Majesty, I am so-”

Ten laughed. “It’s alright, y/n.” He laughed and looked around at the crowd who watched.  He took your hands and pulled you closer to his chest. He smiled brightly at the spectators as he whispered to you, “I’ll make you pay for it tonight,” he whispered.

You gulped and nearly stumbled once more but Ten had a steady grip on you. Lucas watched the two of you. He couldn’t be visibly upset. That would cause people to ask questions. It was no secret that he was a close friend of the happy couple but no one knew of his and Ten’s falling out. No one ever would.

Beside him, Princess Rosé said, “What a beautiful couple.”

Lucas forced his voice to sound even. “Yes, they are, Your Highness.”

She wrapped her arms around his left forearm and snuggled her head against his shoulder. “We’ll take over the Park estate soon enough and throw our own lavish party. Then, we will be front and center, my love.”

Lucas replied as kindly as he could, “I anticipate it, my dear princess.”

You knew Lucas was watching. From your peripheral vision, you could feel him watching you. You couldn’t make eye contact or else Ten would’ve noticed.

The dancing continued. You and Ten switched partners from time to time. You took a respite and drank a glass of wine. Ten was in host mode, talking to the most influential leaders in the continent, including Rosé’s father, King Park.

You were tapped on the shoulder. You turned around and Lucas smiled. “Your Majesty.” He gave a playful bow.

You snorted. Very unladylike, you noted but didn’t care. Lucas caught you drooling in your sleep when you took naps under the cherry blossom tree all of these years so he knew who you really were. A title couldn’t change a person so easily.

“Your Highness,” you said as you curtsied.

He chuckled. “This is strange.”

You laughed. “You’re telling me.”

He offered his hand to you, not wasting any time. “May I have this dance?”

The song that was playing was slow. You took Lucas’ hand and walked awkwardly past Ten’s mother. She unapologetically glared at you and was definitely looking for her son to get his reaction. She would be the first to tattle on you like you just got detention and Ten was your parent. Anything to get you kicked to the curb and shunned.

You chose to ignore it and followed Lucas to the dance floor. He held you by the waist. His large hands easily enveloped you. Making physical contact with him after months of separation nearly drove you up a wall. You had to catch your breath. You moved slowly around the dance floor. No one questioned your dance partner as it was no secret you were friends. But Ten knew better. As his colleagues discussed politics and cranked open another bottle of scotch, he watched you and Lucas like a hawk.

You two looked awfully chummy. It killed him not to know what you two were whispering about. It killed him to see you smile at Lucas the way you smiled at him. It was the same look of adoration you gave him...Except he knew it was a more intense adoration. Ten knew that if he looked deeply into your eyes that he would find something more. He knew a part of you still loved Lucas.

What did he expect? For you to completely forget Lucas? Ten would’ve been a fool to believe that to be true. But these kinds of occasions where the Park family was invited were inevitable so he had to come to terms with that fact that you and Lucas would meet again.

It’s not like Lucas could do anything now, Ten reassured himself. You were his queen now. You would never betray him. Ten relaxed himself and laughed at one of King Park’s jokes.

Lucas spun you and pulled you close, “I missed you.”

You replied quietly, “I missed you.”

Lucas sighed. “You’re beautiful.”

Your face grew hotter. “So are you.”

Lucas chuckled. “I’m happy we can have this moment. No matter how brief it is.”

“Me, too. I wish the Park Estate wasn’t so far away.”

“It’s not that far,” Lucas mused.

You tilted your head in confusion. “Really?”

“I timed my last train ride. It’s about five hours away if the conductor has had a full night’s rest.”

“Five hours, huh? Just like that?”

He winked. “Just like that.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re still a pain, I see.”

“And you’re still killing me,” he said, his voice huskier.

Your face had inched closer to his as the song continued. You shook yourself out of your bubble. “How angry does Ten look?” You panicked, forcing yourself to look. You were shocked to find him laughing and having as good of a time as anyone else at the ball. You eased up and exhaled.

“He looks plenty merry to me,” Lucas replied and realized. “What about Princess Rosé?” To your shock, Rosé was dancing with her ex-boyfriend Chanyeol. Everyone thought she would marry Lord Chanyeol but she broke it off when he admitted that he wanted to become a man of the cloth.

You and Lucas looked at each other and laughed.

“Why are we so worried?” You wondered aloud. “Everyone is having a great time and so should we.”

Lucas nodded. “Absolutely.”

You and Lucas retreat from the dance floor and eat together. He tells you about his new life at the Park Estate. He is in training to become their next king. He drank considerably as the night went on. Lucas wasn’t trained to be a diplomat or a lawmaker so it was a huge adjustment for him. His passions were in weaponry and hunting. When Lucas still lived in the kingdom, he trained to be a commander in the royal army. Now, he was preoccupied with reading and attended meetings with King Park. Whenever he wasn’t doing either of those things, he would accompany Rosé on trips and parties.

“It’s a lot different from training to be a commander, I have to say,” Lucas said as he frowned. “I’m glad I was able to bring Hazel with me, though.”

Hazel was Lucas’ trusty steed. You were happy that Ten’s mother hadn’t taken that away from him at least. Lucas treasured horseback riding. It gave him a sense of freedom and exhilaration. It was a piece of home he could always keep with him.

“I miss her. Would it be okay if I came to visit sometime? I would love to visit her,” you said as you took a bite of chocolate cake. You and Lucas had many adventures. You and Lucas would take Hazel on trips to the fields and to the waterfalls in the spring. Hazel trusted no other human besides Lucas and you.

“Just her, huh?” He gave you a knowing look.

You laughed as you sipped your glass of water. “I might as well catch up with the future King of the Park Estate. I can give you some pointers. Ten tells me a lot about the goings on in the kingdom.”

Lucas’ tone shifted abruptly. “I’m sure he does…” He’d hoped you wouldn’t mention him again. You’d certainly done a good job to omit Ten from your letters to him, Lucas thought. Why bring Ten up now?

You cleared your throat. “We don’t have to talk about Ten...I’m sorry.” You could see the distant look on Lucas’ face at the mention of Ten’s name. You didn’t want to hurt him even more.

Lucas smiled sadly as he raised your chin. “Chin up, y/n, you’re allowed to talk about your husband.”

The abrupt physical contact startled you. You looked around to see if anyone noticed. A couple of people did. Your eyes scanned the area for Ten’s mother, your biggest supporter.

“Lucas…” You started.

Lucas averted his eyes. “I’m sorry...I believe my liquid courage may have gotten the best of me, my dearest y/n.”

You sighed. “You can’t just touch me whenever you feel like it..You could get in trouble.” You didn’t mind the physical contact, actually. In fact, you craved it. But too many eyes were on you and you didn’t want any trouble. Ten’s mother would certainly give you an earful at your next obligatory tea time.

Your heart was moving a mile a minute, though. You thought you did enough to keep it from showing on your face. But Lucas made it so difficult.

Lucas took your hand from under the table. “Now no one can see. Is this okay?”

As much as you wanted to go back into a bubble with Lucas, you resisted. You felt him squeeze your hand. Your first instinct was to pull away but Lucas wouldn’t let go. “Please let go. We can’t.”

“Why not?” Lucas demanded. “We are childhood friends. There is nothing wrong with this. Why should we have to hide our bond?”

You quickly swiped your hand away. “You know damn well why. Get a cup of sobering tea. Your character is unbecoming of a prince.” You walked away from Lucas.

He got up and grabbed your arm. “y/n…”

“I believe my wife is correct, Prince Lucas.”

You and Lucas froze in your tracks.

Ten’s voice sounded so neutral. It was deceiving. Any man who touched his wife was in for a beating. No matter the title he held. He walked up to you two and pulled Lucas’ hand away, which went limp against his side.

“Your Majesty, my sincerest apologies, I-“ Lucas began.

Ten replied with the same smile he gave to his other friends and peers. “Go tend to your wife. I will take care of mine.”

Lucas’ fear definitely sobered him up. He bowed as a sign of respect and scurried off to find Princess Rosé.

“Ten, I-“

“I don’t want to hear it,” he said with the same smile on his face. He returned to his group and acted like nothing was wrong. But you knew better.

You knew that this was bad. Astronomically bad.

————

[APRIL 1895]

Days pass and Ten has not returned to your bedchamber that you shared with him. He never gave you the chance to explain. To explain that nothing happened and that Lucas was the one who held your hand. You worried that Ten would deem you unfaithful. You pined for Lucas and you would tell him you loved him in your letters but that was for no one else to know. The act of infidelity was not for you. No matter how much you longed for Lucas. You couldn’t betray Ten. He was upset but according to everyone else, he immersed himself into his duties.

Lucas sent you a letter a day in the past week. You scanned them quickly. They were full of apologies and sweet nothings. Part of you was furious at Lucas for being so unabashedly stupid and reckless. Part of you yearned for him even more. However, because you were already in hot water with Ten, you left Lucas’ letters unanswered.

When you saw Ten at public events in which you two appeared as a couple, he kept that same cold friendly smile on his face when he was around you. He would hold your hand and kiss your cheek. At first, you were stiff and confused as to how he was acting but soon, to save face, you also followed his lead of insincerity. You two would leave in separate carriages as he had other engagements to attend to.

After a week, you two finished dinner with the head commander and his wife. For the first time since the incident, you both rode home together. On the carriage ride back to the palace, you rode in silence.

“Ten,” you started meekly.

Ten did not reply as he stared out the window.

“Ten,” you snapped.

He whipped his head towards you with that same condescending smile. “Yes, dearest?”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t give me that. We’re alone now. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Ten chuckled. “That’s rich, coming from you. Asking me what’s wrong like you have any right to be upset.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “Ten, I told you that Lucas and I-”

He moved closer to you and grabbed you by the arm. “Don’t you dare bring up that bastard’s name. The next time you let that name slip from your lips-”

“What, then?” You demanded. “Tell me.”

Ten’s smile faded. “You don’t want to go there, y/n. You seem to have forgotten every single thing I’ve done for you since the minute you said yes to me. You’ve become ungrateful and insolent…”

You tried pulling away but Ten wouldn’t budge. He kissed you, forcibly entering your mouth with his tongue. Between kisses, he said, “You. Are. Mine.”

You pulled away with all of the strength you had and looked him in the eyes. “Ten, nothing happened. I swear to you. I love you. Only you.” You were willing to say anything for him to soften his grasp, soften his expression. He couldn’t kiss you or touch you when he was like this. In the bedroom, he was scary enough when he wasn’t mad at you.

Tears ran down your cheeks and something inside Ten made him relax. He realized he may have taken things too far with you. Lucas was to blame for all of this. Ten’s mother should’ve married him off to a princess in another continent so you two would never see each other again.

Ten sighed. “What happened at the ball, y/n?” He let you go quickly and helped you flatten your dress.

You began, “We danced. We ate and caught up with each other. He was acting like nothing had changed. He’s always been very affectionate. You know this more than anyone.”

Ten glared at the floor of the carriage. “Sure.”

“He held my hand,” you said. “That was all. He wanted to act like nothing changed between us.”

Ten raised his eyebrows. “And what do you mean by ‘nothing changed between you two’?”

He was baiting you. He suspected the worst of you: that you would cheat on him in marriage. After the vow you swore to one another?

You sighed. “Our friendship. I’m queen and he can’t exactly give me bear hugs like he used to.”

Still a little wary, Ten nodded.

You continued, “Things are different now. He’s married and...you and me are married,” you said as you held his hand. “I love you, Ten.”

Ten softened at hearing those three words again. The sound of his name that came off of the prettiest lips. He caressed you and embraced you. “I’m sorry, my love. I was too harsh on you.”

You cried softly. He definitely had been. You hugged him back. You were relieved that he was no longer angry. You hoped things would return to normal now.

When you returned to your chambers to retire for the night, you wanted to surprise Ten with your newest set of undergarments that came in from the country of Soleil. This was in anticipation of making up with him at some point and now you couldn’t think about anything else other than pleasing your husband. Ten returned from the restroom to find you lying against the headboard of your massive bed. Your brassiere barely held up your breasts. You may as well have not been wearing one. Your panties hugged your bottom tightly.

“My king,” you said slowly, looking at Ten from under your eyelashes.

Ten was in his wine red robe and nothing else on, which was his usual bedroom attire. He was shocked to see you so bold. Seeing you take the initiative should’ve sent his cock up.

But it laid there. Limp.

You looked down at his nether region and made the same observation. You shot Ten a look of confusion. Perhaps the week apart really threw you both off of your game. But you continued. You got off of the bed and walked slowly over to him. Ten’s mouth dropped at the sight of you. You looked so...appetizing.

His cock seemed to disagree and he started to panic, which he knew would make things worse. He tried to distract you by meeting you halfway. He wrapped his arms around you and put his hands on your ass. “You want to play with me, don’t you?”

“Well, I’ve been quite bored and lonely in this bed all by myself, Your Majesty…” You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his collarbone.

Ten hissed as you grabbed his cock, which to your surprise was still not springing up. You looked up at Ten with big eyes, making him blush a bright red.

As you moved your hand up and down his cock, nothing happened.

Ten tried to distract you as he pleased you. He inserted two fingers into your panties and fingered around your flower. He was hoping his magical fingers could render you silly and distract you. However, you were already upset. Even worse, you weren’t soaked.

Ten picked you up bridal style and tried to spin how this night would transpire. He laid you on the bed. “Can you be a good girl for me? In fact, you still owe me for stepping on my foot at the ball,” he said as he gave you a knockout smile.

You wanted to be the one who pleased him. To have him writhe under you and make you plead for mercy. You shook your head. You knew something was wrong and he was trying to hide it.

“I wanted to be in charge tonight, Your Majesty, but I guess things just aren’t looking up,” you said as you put your own robe on and moved to your side of the bed. As Ten begged you to change your mind, you ignored him and silently cried yourself to sleep.

You couldn’t understand. The mere sound of his name off of your lips usually got him hard. Sometimes to the point that it distracted you from your daily activities together. So what went wrong? What could you have done differently? Were you at fault?

You’ve never felt so small.

————

You woke up the next day to find Ten already left for the day. He left you a glass of water with a note.

My darling y/n,

I am so sorry. I’m not quite sure what happened. I will be seeing a specialist to see if there’s any issue. Darling, this is all on me. I love you and will see you soon. Please don’t be sad. My queen deserves happiness forevermore.

                                                                            Yours Eternally,

                                                                                           Ten

You rolled your eyes at reading his note but in the back of your mind, you wondered if there could be some underlying medical condition he could’ve developed. You thought of his father and now you began to worry.

Perhaps you had been too mean.

You spent time in the library researching King Lee’s ailments that caused his early passing but could find nothing that tied to Ten’s erectile dysfunction. Then, you read up on erectile dysfunction and wondered if Ten had been dealing with too much stress. You would have the kitchen prepare him some tea to help him sleep earlier. He needed more rest. Even now, you still had no idea what emotional and mental tolls Ten’s father’s death had taken on him.

You retreated back to your quarters for lunch. As you walked past the kitchen area, you heard giggles and sighs. You caught a peek inside of the room and saw the maids sharing a smoke.

“He is the most beautiful man.” One of them laughed.

“Oh, please, His Majesty has nothing on Prince Lucas. It’s such a shame he lives so far away now…” Another maid added.

“How naive you are. I don’t think the prince has the same stamina as His Royal Majesty does,” a third maid with the most condescending tone added. She laughed mockingly at the second maid. “I mean, ask Jade.”

The maids didn’t see you and you were thankful that stealth was one of your hidden attributes. The nerve of these maids. You could’ve easily walked in and fired them all but you weren’t Ten. You were more lenient with the help. When someone didn’t fold his clothes the right way, Ten would be on the verge of dismissing them. You always had to talk him down from making that mistake. On the other hand, you tried to give the servants the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe not today, though.

Who the hell was Jade?

“Jade is a trollop who lacks the brain cells to keep her mouth shut,” the first maid said, “And I’m not just talking about spewing her secrets.”

That caused all of the maids to cackle like witches.

These maids had no idea what they were talking about. How dare they talk about Ten in such a lewd manner? And who the hell was Jade?

The name sounded familiar. You believe she worked near the stables.

“Jade should be careful. Any day now that simpleton queen will catch them in the act and there’s no telling what will happen to her,” the third maid said as she blew out a puff of smoke.

“She better hope that day isn’t today. Jade seemed pretty excited to return to the stables after lunch,” the second maid added.

You gaped at that last sentence and ran off. The maids could hear the sound of footsteps fading and their smoke break did nothing to alleviate their worries now.

You made your way to the stables with a few attendants at your side. You instructed them to wait for you outside as you wanted to greet the horses. According to them, the horse handlers and stable workers were on break.

You walked into the stable and pet the horses, feeding them carrots and sugar cubes. They reminded you of Hazel and in turn, Hazel reminded you of Lucas.

A woman’s giggle broke you out of your thoughts as you heard some noise in the back right corner of the stables. The giggle came from an empty stable as the door was left open. You moved slowly down to the end so as not to be detected. When you got closer, that was when you could hear the moans, the slapping of skin, and the sloppy kisses.

“Are you enjoying this, Your Majesty?” You heard a woman ask. Her voice is low and seductive and most of all, very irritating.

You stood there frozen in your tracks. Perhaps this woman and her partner were into using nicknames in their foreplay, you thought. Maybe you were wrong to suspect the worst. Maybe there was a visiting king? But in the stables with a mystery woman?

But then you heard his moans.

“You are serving your master well, Jade. Your family will be provided handsomely for your commendable service to your king,” he said.

It was Ten. And in the shadows, you recognized the outline of his dick. The image of his dick was embedded in your brain. How could it not be when Ten’s thirst was never satisfied?

You caught a peek of the couple and saw Ten completely naked and the maid Jade down to her undergarments. She was riding his dick like her life depended on it. Speaking of your husband’s endowment, it didn’t seem like anything was wrong now.

What a cruel joke. You laughed to yourself. Loud enough for the pair to jump.

“y/n!” Ten looked stunned for the first time in his life. He hadn’t looked this stunned since the news of his father’s passing.

“Hello, darling,” you began, “And this must be the commendable Jade.”

Jade’s satiated smile quickly vanished at the sight of you. She quickly covered herself with the first piece of fabric she could find. And it was one of Ten's robes. The nerve of this underling, you thought. How dare she grab onto your husband’s clothes as if she was entitled to them?

You had the mind to send her to the dungeon. You could finally see the appeal behind dungeons. Ten always wanted to sentence the help to the dungeons for little inconveniences and you always had to be the one to talk him down. But now...you finally had a good reason to put a servant away.

“Now’s not the time to be modest, Jade,” you said as you wrapped your arms around your chest. You walked up to her and placed your heel against her chest. She breathed heavily against your shoe. “I should thank you. And here I thought my husband was falling ill...I was so concerned. But now thanks to you, I know that he is a lecherous and treacherous fiend.”

Jade shrunk. This was so unlike the big mouthed and presumptuous slag you were expecting.

“Cat got your tongue?” You asked sweetly. “Speak up. You do enough of it that thanks to a handful of maids, I could be here with you two today.”

“y/n,” Ten begged as he grabbed your left leg. “Please-”

“Get your dirty hands off of me, husband.” You spat the last word with as much venom as you could muster. You kicked his arms away.

You got your foot off Jade's chest and turned to Ten. You put your heel very near to his nether region. You had the nerve to stomp on it and ruin his chances of producing an heir. Jade grabbed her clothes and scurried away.

“That’s right, vermin. Scurry off to your station,” you said with a fake smile and a fake lilt to your voice. When you turned back to your still naked husband, your voice turned to stone.

“So this is who you ran to when you gave me the cold shoulder the past week, huh? How insulting,” you spat. “You should’ve hid your tracks better. Far be it from me to let you two have your little midday delights.”

Ten breathed heavily from his passionate lovemaking and now because of the murderous look in your eyes. “y/n, darling...I am so sorry. I was upset…”

You raised your eyebrows. “You expect me to believe that this little affair is new? Don’t make me laugh.”

You got your foot off of his crotch and helped him up. You pushed him against the wall of the stables, stunning the rest of the horses. They neighed and jumped in their stables.

“Lucas held my hand because that’s the kind of shit close friends do but since your insecure little ass couldn’t take it, you sent him away. Right? Don’t tell me that that was all your mummy’s doing.”

Ten was about to snap back but you interrupted him, not giving him a chance to spin this on you.

“What will you do?” You asked.

Ten asked, “What-”

“What will you do when that harlot ends up pregnant with your baby? Will you make the child suffer just like your father did Lucas-”

Ten slapped you, unable to control his anger any longer. “How dare you dishonor my father and bring up that bastard…”

You clutch onto your cheek, shocked that he would ever lay a hand on you. After everything he’s done...And he wanted to spin this on you? For speaking out of turn?

A good queen would swallow her pride and forgive her husband. For they were bound together until death did them part. A reasonable woman, on the other hand, would destroy him. Unfortunately, you fell somewhere in between these two identities.

You finished as hot tears ran down your face. “How dare you do this to me? You said that I was all that you ever wanted. I guess you’ll say anything to get anyone into bed. What a fool I’ve been.” You kicked him in the shins and ran off.

“y/n!” He yelled out in physical and emotional pain.

You returned to your parents’ home and spent the rest of the day with them. You weeped near to the point of hysterics in your bed. You have never felt so humiliated. And at the hands of the man who was supposed to treasure you with each breath he took.

Ten knew you were back at your old home and didn’t come to see you. You thought it was a smart choice on his part because had he come see you, you would’ve contemplated the subject of genital mutilation.

Your mother brought you a bowl of fruit and you savored each bite. Ten was repulsed by fruit so if you ever ate it, he would know and it would irritate him greatly. Well, you did a little more than irritate him today. And you didn’t give a damn. You weren’t returning to the palace for as long as you could help it so bring on the fruit, you said.

Ten especially hated strawberries. You indulged on all of the strawberries in the bowl, enjoying it more now since Ten wasn’t around to protest. The things you had to sacrifice to be with him...The strawberries weren’t even the tip of the iceberg.

You told your parents everything. Your father had the nerve to go to the castle and give Ten a beating, royal status be damned. You told them to stand down because they didn’t deserve to get entangled in this mess. They welcomed you back home for at least a few days but insisted you would have to make amends with Ten. Your marriage was until death did you part, after all.

This marital construct was starting to sound more and more like bullshit with each passing day.

Your mother handed you a letter. “He sent you another letter. Shall I throw it away?”

You sighed. “No, it’s alright.”

Your mother gave you a warning look. You nodded, knowing what she said without hearing the words. She left you in your room.

You got up from bed and sat down at your desk. You opened the letter.

Dear y/n,

I know it’s pointless to make excuses but I want you to know that I am genuinely sorry. Under the facade of friendship, I was jealous. That man has the one thing I want. The one thing I need. The one thing I crave. And I can’t have her. I missed you so much and seeing you in that red dress, I was very near to my undoing. I love you, y/n. I always will but I know it is too late for us. I will let you go. For your sake. 

I’m in my mother’s hometown of Wanderlust for the next two weeks. Princess Rosé is away as one of her closest friends will be wed in the Western continent. If you would like to meet once more, I would like that very much.

                                                                              Yours Always,

                                                                                         Lucas

Lucas visited Wanderlust under the pretense of hunting and to take a respite in nature. The Park estate was aware of his whereabouts. They believed him to be staying with a humble host family. They assumed Lucas did it to know what it was like to be among commoners. To help gain their family a new perspective. When in reality the family of commoners were his real family.

Your anger at Lucas faded in the past few days but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond to any of his letters. Until now.

You got your travel bag prepared and told your mother you were traveling to the family cabin in Flame, a town quite close to Wanderlust. Your mother noted the shift in your mood. The restored determination in your eyes. Something in that letter made you want to go to Flame...or somewhere near it.

“Mother, if Ten comes for me, tell him I have retired to our cabin in Flame. I will return in three days.” You prayed he wouldn’t come and find you.

Lucas called to you and it was time for you to stop shoving these feelings aside. If only for a moment.

In the evening, you arrived via train to Flame and settled into your family’s cabin. The next day, you took one of the ranch hand’s horses, Mint, to arrive in the next town of Wanderlust.

You forgot how liberating it felt to ride on a horse. Lucas typically sat at the front of the saddle when you two rode on his horse Hazel. Now you rode on Mint on your own. You felt so liberated and light. The feel of the wind whipping against your face. The quick beating of your heart. The stomping of the hooves against the dirt. You envisioned yourself on an epic journey, as a heroine on her way to save an endangered village. You liked to play pretend when you were a little girl but as a teenager, it was Lucas who would entertain your imagination. He would act as your second-in-command on your horseback adventures.

He was endearing that way. You couldn’t wait to see him again. You followed Lucas’ instructions that he attached to the letter in order to find his family home.

You saw a house in the distance with a large wisteria tree. The purple and blue flowers dangled from the branches. It was a magnificent tree. Your eyes moved downward to the trunk where you found Lucas sitting with his nose in a book again

Hearing the horse coming in the distance, Lucas got up from the tree, dropping his book to the ground in shock.

You were a vision. You couldn’t possibly be here. He was dreaming. He must have fallen asleep reading the history of the Park Estate again.

You pulled the reins on Mint and you stopped a few feet before him.

“Hello there,” you said, acting like a gallant gentleman picking up his lady.

Realizing you weren’t a figment of his imagination, Lucas laughed. “You look ridiculous.” He said it so fondly. So intimately that you knew he was messing with you.

He was right, though. You reached your hand up to your hair to find it tangled from the wind. Horseback riding always looked more impressive when other people did it, you guessed. You just weren’t blessed with a wind-resistant mane.

You were about to hop down from Mint but Lucas helped you, grabbing you by the waist and turning you around to face him. You jumped into his arms and he pulled you in for a hug. He spun you around in circles.  

“You came,” he said, smiling and humming against your hair.

You nodded, shy. “I did.”

“Lucas, it’s time for lunch!” A third voice piped in.

You and Lucas nearly jumped out of your skin. He quickly put you down and you fixed your hair the best you could.

A young man appeared before you both. He eyed you and then he quickly bowed. “You must be the incomparable Queen y/n.”

You gasped. “How does he-”

“y/n, this is my younger brother, Yangyang,” Lucas said as he wrapped an arm around his brother.

“You were holding out on me, Lucas,” Yangyang addressed Lucas so casually. “She’s gorgeous. If you weren’t spoken for, Your Majesty, I would’ve stolen you from both the king and my brother.”

You laughed. “I believe that, Yangyang. You are definitely the cuter sibling.”

Lucas pouted. “You don’t mean that.”

You got up on your tiptoes and ruffled Lucas’ hair. “Maybe not.”

Yangyang rolled his eyes. “Your Majesty, would you do us the honor of joining us for lunch since my ignorant older brother has not done so already?”

You fought back a laugh as Lucas was about to protest. “I would love to.”

You joined Yangyang and Lucas inside their country home. You were happy to see that Lucas’ family lived in a nice and safe house. It was lovely and warm. There were family photos on the wall and paintings as well. There were well-tended plants all over the common room. A fire was lit at the fireplace.

Yangyang led you both into the kitchen. Lucas called out, “Mother!”

“Yes, dear?” You heard a woman call out. She was cutting some vegetables as she cooked some stew.

You entered the kitchen. Lucas continued, “I have someone I want you to meet.”

Lucas’ mother turned around and gasped. “Y-your Majesty!”

The last reaction you expected from Lucas’ mother was shock but then you remembered you were Queen. You coughed out, “H-hello, ma’am.”

Lucas’ mother was gorgeous. You can see where Lucas got his warm smile and his magnetic brown eyes. Her long black hair ran down her back and it was tied back with a baby blue ribbon. “It is an honor to meet you. We welcome you into our home. May I offer you a cup of tea?”

You nodded, smiling. “The honor is all mine. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a long time. And yes, some tea would be great.”

She grinned. “Please take a seat.” She offered you a seat at the dining room table beside the kitchen. “Had I known you were coming, I would’ve cleaned up.”

You, Lucas, and Yangyang looked around the house. It was spotless.

“Mother-” Yangyang started, about to say something sarcastic, surely.

Their mother shushed Yangyang. She turned to her much taller son. “You could’ve given me some notice, Lucas.”

“Actually, this was a surprise visit. Completely my fault. I hope I’m not disturbing,” you said, feeling bad. You didn’t realize how much of an imposition you were being to Lucas and his family. “I won’t be long-”

Lucas interrupted as he took your hand, pleading. “No, don’t go.”

Yangyang snickered and their mother laughed with her hand over her mouth. “Your Majesty, you can stay for as long as you’d like.”

“Th-thank you, ma’am...I would appreciate it if you guys called me y/n when we’re alone…”

Yangyang replied, “You’re kidding.”

You shook your head. “I am not.”

Lucas added, “She’s queen. We have to do what she says.”

You all laughed as you helped their mother prepare lunch. No one wanted you to lift a finger so you used the queen card again. You were allowed to make fresh orange juice. It’d been so long since you’ve been allowed to do something for yourself without a servant. It felt good.

Lucas stole glances from you as you worked in the kitchen. Your heart raced faster each time.

You all sat down for lunch. Lucas’ stepfather, aka Yangyang’s father, came in and greeted you and was brought up to speed on your visit. The five of you sat down for lunch. The stew was delicious. It rivaled your mother’s tomato soup. You wished you could have an endless supply of this stew…

For when you had to go back.

As crazy as it sounded, it pained for you to go back to the palace. In a matter of hours, you felt more at home in Lucas’ family home than you had at the palace.

You wondered just how different things would’ve been had you, Lucas, and Ten never been royals. The pressure would’ve been off. Ten wouldn’t have thrown his power in your face. Lucas wouldn’t have had to leave. Maybe you and Lucas would have run off and moved to a place like this.

And be happy together.

Lucas noticed that you grew silent at the table.

He offered to put his hand over yours. You nodded. He knew better than ever that consent was necessary.

Lucas’ mother and stepfather eyed each other. Yangyang blew a loose strand of hair off of his forehead. “You two couldn’t be more obvious.”

You and Lucas nearly jumped out of your seats.

Lucas’ mother asked carefully, “y/n, are you alright? Did something happen at the palace for you to come visit?”

Lucas frowned as he saw the wave of dread that fell over your face.

“Uh…” You hesitated.

“Mother, wait…” Lucas started.

Lucas’ mother apologized, “I am so sorry, Your-I mean, y/n...I spoke out of turn.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine. I would just prefer to not discuss it. As far as His Royal Majesty is concerned, he has been informed that I took a respite in my family’s cabin in Flame. Not too far from here.”

Lucas could tell something was wrong. And he knew it was Ten’s fault. That son of a bitch, he thought.

You and Lucas’ family continued eating and the mood hadn’t been destroyed. You recounted tales of Lucas’ youth to his family and they were all laughing so hard. Lucas’ mother nearly teared up a few times as she had missed so much for the sake of her son’s future. After her many protests, Lucas’ mother begrudgingly let you help clean up the table. Yangyang and his father retired to get some firewood to roast some marshmallows later. You joined Lucas in the backyard where a stream flowed.

“Hi,” you said as Lucas watched the water.

“You alright?” He asked, focused solely on you now.

You nodded. “Yeah, I feel so much better.”

He patted the grass beside him so you would join him. “I told myself I wouldn’t pry but...what happened?”

You sighed. “Well, after the ball, Ten did a little more than give me the cold shoulder for a week.”

Lucas turned right around and looked at you. “What…”

“He’s been sleeping with the help. Some harlot named Jade who works in the stables,” you said as you picked at the grass with your fingers.

Lucas shot up from his seat on the grass. “I’ll kill him. Don’t know how but I’ll kill him. Let’s go right now-”

You stood up and looked up at him, yearning for eye contact to ease his stress. “No, Lucas. I don’t want to see him. I came here to get away from him but more importantly, I wanted to see you.”

Lucas met your gaze and cupped your face in his hands. “I hate to see you in pain. You don’t deserve this. He was supposed to take care of you. Only you. That insufferable troll.”

You caressed your face against his hands, enjoying the warmth that radiated off of them. “I suppose he thought you and I…”

Lucas’ eyes widened. “It’s because of me…” He had no idea just how much of a mess he’d made.

You shook your head. Ten was blowing things out of proportions, like he always did. “He was always jealous of the connection we shared.”

Lucas let go of your face and held your hand. “I don’t blame him. Before I got married, I was jealous of every moment between you and him.”

A little embarrassed at his confession, you added, “You definitely hid it better than Ten did.”

Lucas shook his head. “There was going to be a point where the three of us wouldn’t be friends anymore. Because of our feelings for you. And now that I know the truth about my real father, it’s worse.”

You squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry. Queen Lee was always so harsh with you, too.”

“I always wondered why that crone hated me so much. It’s nice to finally know the truth, at least.”

Lucas’ existence was a reminder to Ten’s mother that her husband had been unfaithful. She carried so much bitterness in her heart. After seeing the stunt Ten pulled, you could finally understand her more.

It didn’t mean her any less of an intolerable crone but you understood where all of the resentment came from.

And it made you wonder if Ten had committed more than one indiscretion. With more than one partner. You grew tense just thinking of what awaited you when you returned to the palace. How you wished you didn’t have to go back.  

Lucas continued, “I’m so sorry, y/n. I didn’t want to trouble you. It was the last thing I wanted.”

You sighed and smiled at him. “Ten didn’t make it any better so don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Lucas sighed. “I would talk to him but I’m the last person he wants to hear from.”

“I...You know what, I’m not going to fight you on that. I can’t mention your name or he…”

Lucas grew concerned. “Or he’ll what?”

“He didn’t tell me,” you started, “But I can imagine whatever he had in mind wouldn’t be fun.”

“He wouldn’t lay a hand on you,” Lucas challenged, He then admitted, “As for emotional manipulation? That’s fair game.” He also grew up with Ten, of course. You and Lucas knew Ten better than anyone. Ten’s dear mother only saw what Ten wanted her to see. In her eyes, he was the perfect and devoted son. Ten was an actor. You had to give him credit where it was due.

You sighed. “Well, I’m not going to take that.”

Lucas ran his hands over his hair in frustration. “You shouldn’t have to. God, why did you marry him? Well, I know why...I just...You shouldn’t have…”

You ruffled his hair. “I would do it again. I’m so happy you and your family are safe. That’s what matters to me.”

Lucas looked at you in awe. You were the most selfless and courageous woman he’d ever known. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you said as you hugged him.

He held you tightly because as he had stated in his letter, this could be your goodbye. “I miss you. All the time. I miss you right now, even though you’re right here with me because I know it’s only a matter of time until you go back.”

You cried, “I wish things could be different but...”

Lucas wiped your endless stream of tears. “Maybe...just this once....”

You froze. His lips were so close. All you had to do was tiptoe and you could have him. So you kissed him and he quickly reciprocated. Each kiss felt as if it was your last. Your panties were soaked at just imagining Lucas on top of you again.

Lucas never wanted to let you go. You were his whole world. A beam of sunlight that he wished he could always keep with him. Even if your time together was brief, he treasured each second more than the last. After a few minutes, Lucas released you. “Do you…” He started. He wanted to make love one last time.

You wanted to say yes. You really did. But Ten’s betrayal was still fresh on your mind. You couldn’t fathom stooping as low as he did. This was not the way you wanted to reconnect with Lucas. You didn’t want your time with Lucas to include revenge sex. It wasn’t even about getting even. You wanted to be with Lucas for the sake of just being with him.

You shook your head. “Let’s just spend the next three days together. With your family.”

You didn’t have to explain. Lucas was just happy to be with you for as long as you both could manage.

For the next few days of your retreat, you checked on your family’s cabin to make sure you had no unwanted visitors. The last person you wanted to see but also expected to find was Ten. You wouldn’t put it past him to come and find you, even after you insisted you would return on your own. However, his schedule was always tightly packed. You always made a note of his upcoming schedules so even you could know where he was at all times. Ten certainly didn’t have a problem with doing the same for you. You could never be too careful.

It seemed like Ten had respected your need for space, which gave you some relief. You wondered if he was with another servant now. It could’ve easily been anyone: a noble, a royal from another continent, anyone. You weren’t sure if getting caught by you would deter him. One thing you learned about Ten was that his appetite was never fully satiated. Perhaps you weren’t enough for him. And that hurt you to the core.

You spent most of your time at Lucas’ family home. You went horseback riding with Lucas and Yangyang. You went swimming in the stream with Lucas. Yangyang and his father taught you how to maneuver a bow and arrow for the palace forbade you from learning. Lucas’ mother taught you about the medicinal herbs she worked with. She was the local physician of Wanderlust. You also baked pastries with her and talked to her about Lucas’ past.

You sat down together the night before you parted for the palace again. You sat outside with her, overlooking the large grassy field.

Lucas’ mother stirred her tea. “I’m thankful to you, y/n.”

You shook your head. “You don’t have to thank me. I wanted to help your family-”

She shook her head and laughed. “No, dear. I meant, thank you for being by his side all of these years. I couldn’t be with my son and I always wondered if he was truly happy at the palace. If he found moments of respite and joy when he wasn’t being scrutinized by his father and his wife.”

You replied, “It was Lucas who was there for me, ma’am.”

She placed her hand over yours. “Give yourself more credit. I see the way he is with you. He adores you.”

You avoided her stare, in fear of revealing too much.

“I know his marriage to the princess was not through his own volition and that his heart belongs to you, y/n. I am truly sorry that it ended up this way.”

“So am I,” you replied as you drank your tea. Your hands shook as you handled the cup.

“Perhaps in the next life, you two will find each other again,” she said as she looked out into the horizon.

“Perhaps,” you said as a tear left your eye once again.

“You are always welcome here. You have become like a daughter to me,” she said warmly.

You wiped your tear away and gave her a bright smile. “Would it be acceptable if I called you Mother?”

Lucas’ mother cried tears of joy. “Of course. Only if you let me call you daughter.”

You held her hands and embraced her. Lucas watched you two from the backdoor and smiled, tears in his eyes.

Lucas accompanied you back to your cabin on his family’s horse. You rode together side by side and stole glances. “We can do this again, right?” He asked.

You pretended to think about it. “Of course, we can!” You laughed at his eye roll.

He replied, “Then the next time I plan to return to Wanderlust, I will send you a letter.”

You smiled, biting your lip. “I would like that.”

Lucas kissed you goodbye. It pained you both but you felt relief at knowing that this wouldn’t be the last time you saw each other.

————

Upon arriving at the train station, you were shocked to find Ten waiting there for you. He was accompanied by a group of servants and guards. The passengers and visitors in the station watched him in awe and adoration.

“Your Majesty!”

“It’s Queen y/n!”

“And His Majesty has come to receive her. How sweet! What an attentive husband!”

“Long live King Lee!”

“Many blessings to the royal couple!”

“Ten…” You started.

He began, “Seulgi, grab her bag.”

You and Ten’s servant Seulgi greeted you with a nod and grabbed your bag. Ten offered his arm to you and seeing as you had an audience and an obligation to your people, you took his arm. “Welcome home, darling,” he said quietly. You walked together to the carriage that would take you to the palace.

“Your Majesty,” you replied.

“How was your time in Flame?” He asked.

“Quiet,” you began, “It was nice to get away from the chaos of the palace for a moment. It has been a stressful time. All of this,” you waved your arms around to the crowd, “is still very new to me.”

He cooed. “Darling, it is understandable. It only pleases me that you have returned home.”

He helped you up in the carriage and he sat himself down beside you. The coachman instructed the horses to move. You looked out the window now, avoiding Ten’s stare.

“y/n…” He started.

You shook your head. “Not here.”

So he waited until you returned to your shared quarters.

“y/n,” he said, more pathetically.

“What is it, husband until death do us part?” You asked bitterly as you untied your hair and sat down at the vanity beside the bed.

He hesitated and you wondered just what the look on his face was. You refused to look at him through the mirror. He was always a very prideful and defensive man, even when he was in the wrong. You imagined he was furious at your attitude. Maybe that wouldn’t be to your benefit. He wasn’t the type to grovel for forgiveness.

“I am deeply repentant for my indiscretion with that maid. It meant absolutely nothing. She is not you, y/n.” He attempted to hug you from behind.

You pulled yourself away from him. You scoffed. “Well, it’s nice to know that she can’t fuck as well as I can. That makes me feel so much better.”

Ten bit back his words. He didn’t want you to be mad at him but your insubordination was not making this easy.

You decided to drive the wedge between you further. You recited the following: “‘I will love you for all of my days and be loyal to you. Only. You’.” Ten’s marriage vows had unraveled before your very eyes.

Ten pleaded. “y/n-”

You finally turned around and faced him. “You. Hurt. Me. Betrayed me. Discarded me. If only for a moment, you discarded me like a used handkerchief. If you were going to treat me like this, you shouldn’t have married me. You didn’t need me to rule. You never needed me. You could be with any woman you want. But you wanted to marry me. Why, Ten? Why did you marry me if you were going to fuck this up so horribly?” You sobbed.

Ten’s conscience reared its ugly head and he had to take pause and consider your words. You were questioning your marriage now. You were never meant to find out about his indiscretion. This was all of his fault.

And now here you were, the love of his life: crumbling, spiteful, and broken.

You had to know that no matter who he laid with, you were always on his mind. Always in his heart. The only woman who could reign beside him. You were his everything. He worshipped you. You had to know that.

If you continued to convince yourself that this marriage couldn’t work, then you would insist on an annulment. And Ten forbade it. He would make it an official kingdom rule. Unless it was through death, a marriage was permanent.

And he intended to live a long, happy life with you and the children that you would give him.

So he would have to treat you kindly and gain your trust in any way he could. “I am so sorry, y/n. I...There is no excuse for the mistake I’ve made. The fool I was, I believed the worst of you and especially Lucas. I thought you had betrayed me so...I found comfort in another woman. A lowly servant of all people! I’ve committed an unforgivable grievance.”

You sniffled and eyed him carefully. “Ten, you were wrong about Lucas and me. You never gave me a chance to explain. You were quick to find someone else to lie with. It makes me wonder if this was the only indiscretion…”

Ten sobbed. He broke down and sobbed. You hadn’t seen him break down like this...ever. Not since his father died.

He got down on both of his knees before you. “I’ve failed you, my love. I am scum. I am unworthy of you. I should be burned at the stake. I am willing to do anything for you to forgive me. I can’t be without you. You have helped me through the darkest moments of my life. The thought of losing you...is too much for me to bear. I...can’t.”

“Ten, please…” You worried he was about to choke. “You need to calm down…”

He shook his head. “I cannot! I need you, y/n! I will not deceive you again. I swear it to you!”

You took the pitcher of water from the bedside table and poured him a glass of water. You offered it to him.

He sniffled and wiped his tears with his sleeve. “Thank you. Even when you’re angry at me, you show me kindness. My queen…”

You sighed. It was going to take a lot for you to open yourself up to Ten again. But he was remorseful beyond your wildest dreams. You had to take his word for it that he would try. It would take a long time but if Ten was in earnest, you had to accept it.

“Okay,” you said quietly.

“Darling?” His eyes widened with a rare childlike innocence.

“Okay,” you said more clearly.

His beautiful smile appeared on his face and he cried happily as he took your hand, squeezing it. “My angel. My everything.”

You didn’t squeeze his hand back but you gingerly removed your hand from his grasp. Ten’s smile faded.

“It will take some time for you to regain my complete confidence. I am your wife. And I will do all that is required of me as queen but I plead with you: do right by me. Be faithful to me and only me. That is all I ask of you,” you said, still uncertain of what the future would bring for you two.

Ten was relieved. You were giving him a second chance. He would do everything in his power and more to regain your trust and devotion.

————

[JULY 1895]

Ten has done nothing short of spoiling you rotten for the past three months. He bought you the finest jewels from the ends of the world, having the country’s best designers fix them into brooches, necklaces, bracelets, earrings, and crowns. Knowing you had the biggest sweet tooth, he had the kitchen staff working around the clock to prepare pastries from all over the world. He arranged trips to libraries and observatories all over the country for your thirst for knowledge never ceased.

As for Jade, Ten dismissed her and you hadn’t seen or heard mention of her since that fateful day.

Slowly, you opened yourself up to Ten. You began to joke with him again, acting like you used to when you were friends. You welcomed him into bed again and would sleep together. And eventually, you became one again every night.

In those three months, you and Lucas exchanged letters whenever you visited your parents. He was doing well at the kingdom. The king and queen were fond of him. Rosé was good to him. You were happy he wasn’t in a hostile environment anymore but part of you still longed for him.

Lucas was happy to hear that you were in better spirits but he was onto Ten. He always knew there was something off about his half-brother: an inexplicable thirst that never quenched. He believed that a man like him was capable of deceit and could hurt you again. However, because you sounded happier, he chose to refrain from meddling. Instead, you two constantly reminded each other that no matter the distance or the time, you two would always love each other. And that you would see each other again.

After visiting the orphanage in town, you returned to the castle earlier than anticipated. You walk past the library only to hear a strange noise.

You frowned. That was odd. The library was only open to you and Ten. It was only cleaned in the evenings when you’d both retired for your slumber.

You wondered if it had been a spirit so curiosity got the best of you. You walked quietly down the astronomy section and peaked through the shelves to find…

Your husband doing the one thing he swore he would never do to you.

Again.

Only this time, a different maid was on her knees, consuming the cum from his length. You couldn’t see her face, only her auburn tied up with a black ribbon. He had just orgasmed all over her and she sucked at his length like it was her latest chore. She was an efficient little whore.

As for your beloved husband, he pulled at her hair and grunted like the beast that he was.

Instead of letting him know you were there, you carefully walked out of the library and escaped detection. At this point, he confirmed what you should’ve kept believing: he would never change his deviant ways and if he could help it, he would continue to lie to you.

At this point, you didn’t feel the need to cry. Something inside you just turned off. The pastries that arrived in your bedroom were left uneaten. The pearls were given away to visiting royals. You would fall asleep early before Ten joined you in the bedroom. You didn’t want to confront Ten about it anymore because there was no point. Once a cheater, always a cheater, you realized. What a fool you’d been.

So what the hell were you doing? Why were you sitting here like a sorry fool waiting for him to change?

You’d received notice that Lucas was returning to Wanderlust for the first few weeks of August. Since Ten would be away on a trip to the western continent, you decided to take another respite to your family cabin. This time, your parents were going, as well.

If Ten was going to put on an act, so would you.

You laid in bed with Ten the night before he parted for the western continent.

“Darling, is there anything I can get you while I’m away? I’ve already accumulated a list but just in case…” He gave you his signature dashing smile as he pulled you closer to him.

He was an excellent actor, you had to say. But thanks to all of this time in the kingdom, you’ve also come into your own when it came to acting. “I can only think of your safe return, husband.” You kissed his lips, hating that he still had an effect on you.

You held each other for the rest of the night and you pretended, once again, that this man was faithful to you so you could sleep more peacefully. The image of seeing Lucas again helped you immensely.

————

[AUGUST 1895]

Upon your arrival to Flame, you immediately found Mint and took her to get to Wanderlust quickly. Much to the chagrin of your parents as they settled in. You didn’t tell them where you went because the less they knew, the better.

Your mother knew, though. She always did.

You could see Lucas standing by the wisteria tree, waiting for you now. You stopped Mint and Lucas already met you halfway. He got you down and before Lucas could speak, you crashed your lips into his.

Lucas was shocked at the intensity of your kiss. Three months apart drove him a little crazy but he didn’t expect this reaction from you.

“Whoa,” Lucas said as he got some air. “Where’s the fire?”

“I missed you,” you said, “I don’t plan to leave your bed for the next week.”

Lucas’ mouth almost fell to the floor. “y/n-“

“I tried, Lucas. I forgave his sorry ass and truly believed he would be faithful to me.”

“No…” He started. “He didn’t…”

“He got orally fucked in OUR library. Who knows what else this monster has been hiding?” You finally yelled out into the field, releasing all of your pent-up emotions. You really missed this field. The last time you visited, you could yell all you wanted without fear of getting judged.

Lucas clenched his fists. How he didn’t kill this man yet, he didn’t know. He took a deep breath. “Did you run away, y/n? What if he’s looking for you now?” He worried about you. Even if Ten was in the wrong, you would be punished more harshly for abandoning the king.

You shook your head. “His Majesty is on his way to the western continent to meet the King of Spades. He won’t be back for two months. A blissful two months it will be. Not to worry. I’ve already informed the palace that I have traveled to Flame with my family.”

Lucas was still concerned. You were acting out of anger. He didn’t want you to regret your actions.

“Let’s go inside and get you something to eat,” he started.

“Your parents fond of hard liquor?” You asked. “Ten never lets me drink without him. It’s annoying.”

“Maybe you should cool down first. Let’s go for a swim,” he offered.

“Is your family home?” You calmed down a little. “I hope I didn’t traumatize them with my yelling.”

Lucas shook his head. “They’ll be home in a few days. They’re visiting my stepfather’s relatives in the next town. I arrived early to surprise them.”

“Oh…” You started.

“So if you were planning on sharing a bed with me, our window is limited,” he teased.

You avoided his gaze, coming down from your anger. “Oh, no...Lucas, I’m so sorry. I came on too strong. I was so mad. I wanted to see you. I-“

Lucas kissed you and picked you up off the ground. You wrapped your arms around his neck. You both hummed in satisfaction.

“I missed you, too,” Lucas whispered into your ear. He put you over his back and gave you a piggyback ride into the house. You laughed as Lucas ran faster. You held him tighter, afraid you’ll lose your equilibrium and fall. It was like you weighed nothing but he held you tightly. Like you were the most precious jewel in the world.

He took you to the guest room and sat you down on the edge of the bed. This was where Lucas slept whenever he came to visit. You never slept with him in here before.

Lucas stood by the door and watched you.

You stared up at him with your eyes wide in anticipation. “Is this okay?”

Lucas nodded. “Of course, it is.”

You laid back and moved your body so that it was against the headboard. Lucas crawled over you as you moved back. It felt so carnal and wild and set your blood ablaze.

He gave you little love bites all over your breasts as you jerked him off. You then moved your lips downward and took his entire length into your mouth. You moved up and down his length and when Lucas came, you were coated in his essence. After teasing your entrance, making you cum very easily with his skillful fingers, he inserted his soaked length into your throbbing pussy. You both came together.

Lucas made sweet love to you that day. You lied in bed with each other and talked about everything and nothing. What dreams you had. What dreams changed. And you found yourself wondering…

“Do you ever think about running away?” You asked him as you kissed his hands..

”I do sometimes...You?” He pulled you closer to his naked chest.

“Yes...And now I want to more than ever,” you said.

Lucas sighed. “I would give anything to run away with you. Start a new life where no one else knows us. Where neither the Lees  or the Parks can find us.”

“That would be a dream come true,” you said.

Lucas kissed the crown of your head. “Maybe we can do it. Someday.”

You nuzzled against his shoulder. “Someday.”

For the next few days, you and Lucas made love in the stream. In the woods where he set up the perfect picnic. In the flower field a few miles up the gravel path. You had never felt more alive than you had with Lucas. He made you feel so safe and worshipped with his presence alone.

When Lucas’ family returned, you both pretended that you had just arrived so his family wouldn’t catch on to your affair. You never spent the night so as not to arouse suspicions from your parents either.

You split up your time between Lucas’ family and your own. You wished your parents could meet his family but you didn’t want to drag them deeper into your mess than you already had.

When it was time to return to the palace, you and Lucas once again parted ways, knowing that you would always have these summer memories.

Upon returning to the castle, you resumed your duties. You also kept an eye out for the maid who was in the library with Ten. The maids weren’t particularly chatty these days after word spread that you found Ten and Jade in the stables. You were still the kind “simpleton” queen but you weren’t as lenient as you used to be.

You continued your studies and addressed the needs of the townspeople. Although you weren’t particularly loved in the castle, the people of the kingdom adored you, regarding you as a breath of fresh air with the warmest heart. A recent poll was publicized that you were the best queen. And unfortunately, some of the townspeople discredited the former Queen.

Which meant she was even more hostile to you whenever you interacted.

“Don’t let a couple of commoners’ approval get to your head. You are still unworthy of your crown, child,” she said bitterly.

You came to realize that she was threatened by you and you decided to embrace it. The former queen’s words always stung but you didn’t carry them with you long after. You had more important matters to attend to.

Since Ten continued to cheat on you and you could only imagine he continued to cheat on you in another continent, you decided to have Lucas send you letters to the palace. You confided in Seulgi to always directly hand you his letters.

The months, sadly, moved too quickly. More of Lucas’ letters arrived but Ten’s return home was confirmed. The ship had departed two days ago from the western continent.

You had mentally prepared yourself for his arrival so as not to arouse suspicion from your husband. 

————

[OCTOBER 1895]

When Ten finally returned, though, your mental preparation crumbled.

“Sweetheart,” he laid a bag of scrolls down on the floor at the sight of you receiving him at the palace gates.

The time away did Ten good. His skin was tanner. He looked more vibrant than he ever had. His dark hair was sunkissed, shining a red hue in the sunlight. He probably glowed from all of the western women he slept with, you thought begrudgingly.

Ten pulled you in for a very public and very passionate kiss. In front of the guards. In front of the servants. In front of the parade of townspeople who welcomed him back. In front of his irritable mother.

“Welcome home, darling,” you croaked. He was still an incredible kisser. Your knees betrayed you, causing Ten to chuckle.

He whispered in your ear, “Prepare yourself for tonight, angel. The time apart from you has driven me mad with lust. For. You.”

You gulped. Even though you expected this. You still worried over how the night would go. What if…he could smell Lucas on you? Even if months had passed?

He was a sex fiend and with that kind of identity, he had to pick up on certain things, didn’t he?

Ten walked past you and the female servants that received him all giggled. As he kept walking, they followed him and that’s when you recognized her. Miss Oral.

She had a distinct way of tying her hair up. Her wavy auburn hair was tied up in that same black bow that was permanently painted in your mind. She walked very closely to Ten.

fYou clenched your fists, wondering if he would meet her before your “lustful” evening together. You wouldn’t be surprised if he returned to your bed and claimed he was exhausted. It wouldn’t be the first time. As king, so much was always demanded of him.

So you didn’t stay up for him. You went to sleep quickly. Ten frowned in confusion as he saw you fast asleep.

He left you for a moment. He met up with two of your most loyal servants, Seulgi and Irene, in his study. He polished one of his swords as he conversed with them.

“Any updates from Her Majesty and the bastard?” He asked.

Irene was the first to speak up. “No, Your Majesty. She has not gone to see him since August.”

He then turned to Seulgi. She replied, “They continue to exchange letters, sire. And Hendery was sent to the Park Estate per your request.” Hendery was one of Ten’s closest guards and one of his most lethal men.

Ten was beaming victoriously. “That is all. You are dismissed.”

————

Prince Lucas was summoned to the throne room to attend to a visitor from the Kingdom of Hearts. He wore his crown and a rose gold accented black suit.

He approached the gentlemen in the all-too familiar royal army’s uniform. Hendery.

“Hendery,” Lucas started, “What a pleasant surprise.”

Hendery always hated Lucas and he made Lucas know that since they first met. Lucas  was his fiercest rival when they trained together and he despised how favored Lucas was by the former king, simply because he was best friends with the crown prince. And this fool slept with the Queen behind the King’s back. It was disgraceful.

Hendery smiled arrogantly, “Can’t say the same, Your Highness. I’ve been instructed to pass this message along. From His Royal Majesty Ten Lee.”

Lucas figured this had to do with Ten if he was sending his best guard but that didn’t stun him any less. He dreaded to hear the message. “Proceed,” he said with all of the confidence he could muster.

Hendery read aloud, “Prince Lucas of the Park Estate, please refrain from writing letters to the Queen and from seeking audience with the Queen. Or I fancy setting some country homes ablaze so I can establish a new residence in Wanderlust.” Hendery had a wild look on his face at the conclusion of the message.

Lucas stood. Silent. Despondent. Concerned.

Beaming, Hendery asked, “Can I take Your Highness’s panicked look as confirmation that you accept His Majesty’s terms?”

Lucas snapped out of his panic. “Yes, but under the condition that he is true and kind to his wife. Be sure to pass that message along.”

Irritated at Lucas again, Hendery nodded. “Very well, Your Highness.”

Hendery turned to leave, but suddenly turned back, pushing his jacket back to reveal the handle of his sword.

“Oh, Lucas, and one more thing...”

—————

[DECEMBER 1895]

It’d been over two months since you sent Lucas your letter and his response was nowhere to be found. You asked Seulgi for the fifth time today if you’d received any more letters, since Ten had instructed the post office to no longer send any mail for you to your parents house.

“My apologies, Your Majesty,” she said, avoiding your gaze. She must have been worried that you would yell at her like Ten usually had.

“It’s alright. Thank you, Seulgi. You are dismissed for the evening,” you said.

Seulgi curtsied and left you. As Seulgi left, Ten entered.

“Good evening, darling. Frantic to receive a letter today?” He asked innocently.

“No, Your Majesty.”

“Your Majesty?” He laughed as he shut the door of your chambers. “We’re behind closed doors, sweetheart.”

You sat at the table beside the balcony window and watched Ten join you. His bare foot tickled yours.

“Are you feeling tired, love?” He asked softly. These days you’ve managed to find more excuses to avoid having sex with him. Especially since you’ve been quietly creeping around the castle to catch Ten in the act again. But you’ve been unsuccessful.

And actually, yes, tracking your husband for his lewd activities was exhausting.

But when he successfully seduced you, he set your progress back. Those nights when he made love to you, you nearly found yourself enamored again. Over and over and over.

But when you woke up alone the next day every time, it was just a reminder of the fact that he hid so much from you. Who he was. What he’s done. Who he’s done it with.

You replied as you laid your right foot over his prominent bulge. So he didn’t sleep with someone else right before he came to see you. How remarkable of him. “You tell me…”

Ten’s indulgent smile appeared and he got up from the table and moved to your side. He hovered over you and bent down to kiss you. You were immediately out of breath and before you could catch it again, he kissed you again. He got you up from your seat and pressed his bulge against your pelvis. Your pussy ached for his cock to greet it.

“Ride me. Right now,” Ten hissed.

You did as instructed, noticing how soaked Ten’s pants were from your essence coated with his. He wasn’t finished as he carried you to the bed and penetrated you without clothes to get in the way. You both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Oh, Ten thought, if you always made love like this, neither of you had to think. Just be in the present with each other. No distractions. No obligations. No former best friends. Just you and him.

Meanwhile, in the back of your mind, you wondered what happened to Lucas and why he wasn’t responding to your letters.

To Be Continued in Part 2

[drwcn]

discordance!verse part 3: The affair came to light. Wei Wuxian took the whip. But words got out. All is not quiet in Lotus Pier. 

in which wwx is lxc’s husband through political alliance, and there is an affair.    

[8] | [7] | [6] | [5] | [4] | [3] | [2] | [1] [synopsis]

Because someone asked: 

^ Sorry anon, not exactly what you were asking for. :) But you asked for Jiang Yanli, and I delivered. 

~

Jiang Yanli was sweating by the time her boat from Lanling finally docked at the pier. In the back of her mind was the constant nagging agitation of being away from Jin Ling, but Zixuan had reassured her that he would clear his agenda for the day and stay with their son diligently. The animosity and tension that simmered beneath the surface of Jinlintai’s false tranquility could erupt...any day. Like arrows on a bow pulled taut, they were all waiting for the release. 

At time like this, Jiang Yanli did not think she would have to worry about yet another disaster, but here she was, rushing to her maiden home bearing the most heinous of rumours. 

Jiang Yanli’s frown darkened, remembering the smugness on Jin Zixun’s face that morning in the peony garden. The derogatory remarks had almost been enough to make her hurl up her breakfast.

Is this the teachings of Yunmeng? I would have expected better from Lotus Pier, but then again, that ill-bred tramp have always been this way. It wouldn’t even be surprising had his target not been Lan Wangji. Righteous holier-than-thou Lan Wangji. Only goes to show you can never really know a person, isn’t that right, dear cousin? 

Jiang Yanli stormed through the front gates, a torrent of gold silk and coral chiffon. Not waiting for disciples to announce her, she aimed straight for the main hall.

 “A-die, a-niang!”

Her heart was in her throat. Oh, but she could already imagine her mother’s face. This could end badly in so many ways. If there was any truth to these rumours...she did not know how Gusu Lan dealt with such an infraction, but the Violet Spider would demonstrate to the world exactly why she was dubbed thusly. The stain upon Yunmeng and Lotus Pier, upon the Jiang family - there was not a doubt in Jiang Yanli’s mind that her mother would take it all out on Wei Wuxian. 

Impossible. Simply impossible. It can’t be true. A-Xian would never. He would never - 

Except maybe it was all true. It could be... because - because she herself had seen it, just weeks ago, at Jinlintai, at A-Ling’s one-month celebration - 

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, look, look how chubby he is, isn’t my nephew the cutest?”

“Mn. Very cute.” 

It should’ve been an innocent enough exchange, and it would’ve been, had she not seen the hand Lan Wangji laid against the small of A-Xian’s back as he leaned over his shoulder to peer down at the baby. Jiang Yanli, who had looked away briefly to instruct the wet-nurse to fetch a soother for A-Ling, had turned around to witness the hand caress her brother low along his spine, close to his tail bone. 

Heavens above, what if it’s true...

She was shocked to say the least. That should’ve been an inappropriate action for anyone who wasn’t Lan Xichen, and even if it were Lan Xichen, the placement of that hand was dangerously bordering on indecent! Though the garden at the time contained no one but them three and baby Rulan basking in their loving attention, they were still very much out in the open public. Any disciple or banquet guest could have come strolling through and seen! 

She had expected A-Xian to jerk, to flinch, to moved away and be offended by such a liberal gesture of familiarity and affection, but her brother didn’t move an inch. Instead, he turned and flashed Lan Wangji a smile that was as warm and bright as the morning sun. Graced with the potency of A-Xian’s joy, Lan Wangji’s whole countenance softened, from his eyes to his lips which curled ever so slightly at the corner into a gentle smile of his own.  

Yanli had told herself that it was nothing, that she was over thinking it, that it was a good thing that A-Xian was able to befriend the unapproachable Hanguang-jun. But now...

No... oh A-Xian, didi, what have you done... 

“Da-xiao’jie!” the maid exclaimed and curtsied to her as Jiang Yanli approached the doorway of the empty main hall. “Thank goodness you are here! Zong’zhu, fu’ren and shao’ye are all in an uproar!”   [ Da-xiao’jie - first young mistress, it’s a spoken honorific similarly used as ‘your ladyship’]

So words have reached Lotus Pier too...

Damage control, what she needed to do was damage control. She could do this. She was not Jin-shao-fu’ren, the future Lady of Lanling, for nothing. 

Jiang Yanli spun on her. “My parents, where are they?!” 

“In the Master’s study!” 

She followed the maid as they wound through Lotus Pier’s many boardwalk aisles and water gardens. Without realizing, the two of them quickened their pace to a trot then to a run when they heard Yu Ziyuan’s voice echoing from the distance.

“A-die, a-niang!” Jiang Yanli charged into her father’s study, interrupting her mother mid-tirade. “Something must be done about these abominable rumours circulating -” 

Yanli froze, one feet still on the other side of the threshold. The heart that had been skipping in her throat dropped instantly, free falling into the deepest, darkest pit of her gut where her suspicions hid all along.

Jiang Fengmian sat in his front of his work table, hunched over, his whole weight supported by the hand spanning his forehead. In his other hand was several sheets of paper - letters or missives by the look of it, Gusu Lan’s ink emblem just visible underneath his thumb.

Jiang Yanli had never seen her father so utterly defeated. 

Between her parents was her little brother, clearly in the middle of trying to calm down their mother, but was equally red in the face, and practically bristling like an enraged kitten. 

Upon her arrival, three pairs of eyes flicked simultaneously to the door. 

“A-Li.” The fury that seemed to evaporate from Madam Yu’s every pore tempered fractionally at the sight of her daughter. “What brings you home?” 

“What brings me -” Jiang Yanli gaped, glancing from her mother to her father to her brother. “The rumours about A-Xian -” 

Incensed instantly, Yu Ziyuan exclaimed, “How did you find out?!” 

Once, such a display would’ve cowed her without fail, but Jiang Yanli was no longer a child of timid disposition. Living in a pit of snakes had toughened her against all manners of the world’s assault. 

“I overheard my maids gossiping amongst themselves this morning. A-Xuan heard it from his cousins. I dare say even His Excellency and pomu would’ve heard of it by now.” [pomu 婆母 - husband’s mother] 

Jiang Yanli pursed her lips, feeling a sudden sense of unease over top the preexisting anxiety. “Was it supposed to be a secret?” 

Jiang Fengmian sighed, holding out the letter towards his children as if its mere existence appalled him. “A letter from Elders of Gusu Lan arrived this morning.”

Jiang Cheng took the sheets from their father, hesitating when Yanli strode up to him. “A-jie...”  

In the background, Madam Yu paced the length of her husband’s study, cursing under her breath.

"Thank goodness you have married and married well, A-Li,” She said. “Or else this boy's philandering ways would have ruined your prospects. As it is, A-Cheng -"

Swirling on his mother in an uncharacteristically brisk manner, Jiang Wangyin interjected loudly, "I don't care about prospects, a-niang! They had him whipped! Three hundred and one disciplinary lashes! How is he now? Is he even even - even alive?! Gusu Lan doesn’t tell us anything -"

“What?!” Jiang Yanli yanked the letter from Jiang Cheng’s hand, eyes darting back and forth as she bored over its contents. A moment later, she lowered it slowly, looking up at her brother whose distress mirrored her own, and then at their parents whose distress were for different reasons entirely, reasons she understood but could not empathize at all. 

The world suddenly felt enormous, cold, and without air. Jiang Yanli stumbled back half a step, as imagined scenes of A-Xian being pinned down and tortured flashed before her eyes. 

“A-jie!” Jiang Cheng lunged forward and caught her by the elbow. 

Jiang Yanli trembled, with fury or fear she could not discern. “How could they do such a thing to him? Three hundred lashes...What about Lan-er-gongzi? What punishment did he receive?!"

Rising from his seat, their father sighed deeply, folding his hands behind him. “Unfortunately, the fault lies with us.”

Nothing then. Typical. 

Jiang Cheng made a frustrated noise. “Us?! How could the fault be with us?! That's bullshit!”

But Madam Yu, for once, agreed with her husband. “We all know that Wei Wuxian is a notorious flirt. It's hardly surprising that something like that would -”

“A-niang that isn't true!” Both Jiang children exclaimed at the same time. 

“But A-Xian and Hanguang-jun were caught in the act,” Their father admonished them, displeased with their tone. “There were multiple eye witnesses.” 

Eye witnesses. Jiang Yanli could only imagine what that meant. Surely they were not found in...in bed together. Multiple eye witnesses, no surely not. It couldn’t be as bad as that. At best, at best... at best it was something akin to what she’d seen. A misplaced hand, a misconstrued embrace... a kiss - 

No, no, even that would be too much.  

“...rolling around in the grass like a heathen, taking Hanguang-jun down with him -” 

Jiang Yanli’s head snapped up at her mother’s vivid description of the event. Her words echoed what she had heard in Lanling from the maids and disciples and Zixuan’s cousins. That A-Xian and Lan Wangji were found lying together in the grass, with her brother sitting astride the Second Jade, bent over, exchanging more than just whispers. 

A-Xian, A-Xian how am I supposed to help you now...what can I do now? 

Tears dissolved her vision into fractals of colours and light. She turned away from her family as the first of them began to fall. Mother never liked her tears, and Father never knew what to do with them. 

Her brother A-Cheng, however, could not be stopped once he got started, and whatever ignited him before Jiang Yanli arrived had clearly sparked a wild fire that burned through the last of Jiang Wanyin’s patience with this family. 

"Rolling around in the grass?! Then it must be Lan Wangji's fault! You've all mistaken Wei Wuxian. Yes he's loud and obnoxious and chatty, but that's it! If people mistaken him for a scoundrel, it's only because he's friendly and talkative and doesn't have a filter half the time.”

Jiang Cheng took a breath, shifting his glance from his mother to his father, who stared at him with something akin to shock and an emotion he couldn’t quite place. 

“I know him, a-die, a-niang.” Jiang Cheng continued, quieter. “Wei Wuxian, he's - he's - he was a virgin before he married.” A heated blush bloomed across his cheeks, but he pushed through the embarrassment. “A-Xian was a huge virgin! He's never even held hands with anyone!"

Exasperated, Yu Ziyuan rolled her eyes at her son, as if his arguments were nothing but the antics of a naive child. "Son, you can't know that -"

"I do know that because I know him!" Jiang Cheng protested fiercely, both red in the face and around his eyes now. He was close to tears too. 

"And that Lan Wangji,” he spat with obvious disdain, “Cloud Recesses' disciples are all scared of him. Everyone knows he is cold and disagreeable! If you don't believe me, ask Jin Zixuan! A-jie, you were at Cloud Recesses too with us, is that not what the females disciples say? That he never smiles, never talks, never mingles with anyone! Gusu Lan wants to feed us the tale that Wei Wuxian, within a span of a year, went from completely inexperienced to seducing the most unsociable man of our generation?! I refuse to believe it! Who's to say A-Xian is at fault? Who's to say Lan Wangji isn't a....a... secret sex fiend!"

Jiang Cheng’s outcry silenced the whole room. Jiang Yanli felt a bubble of hysteria rising in her chest. Things were starting to spin out of control. 

“Jiang Cheng!” Jiang Fengmian scolded. “You watch your language in front your elders, and you sister.” 

At that, Jiang Yanli whipped her sleeve back in annoyance, raising her voice for the first time since this whole ordeal began, “Oh please a-die, I have a baby son!”

A-Xian’s life and future hung in the balance and language was where he drew the line? Not the three hundred or so lashes?! 

Dropping the letter onto the table, she took a deep breath and gathered herself. Now was no time to let her emotions get the best of her. 

“When did they say the incident was?” She asked. 

“Two days ago,” replied her father. 

Two days ago and already most of Jinlintai is well versed in the details of the scandal? Jiang Yanli believed in the power of gossip to spread like an infection, but even so, the speed at which this specific piece of information disseminated struck her as particularly malignant. 

Gusu Lan would’ve wanted to contain it. To save face but also to not push Yunmeng Jiang to the brink. This is an alliance after all. Marriage is one thing, but the stability of our sects is another all together. 

But the containment clearly didn’t turn out as intended. Whatever machination was behind this, the proverbial cat was out of the bag and there was no reversing its effects. Had it been simple a family matter, Jiang Yanli would not doubt her parents’ ability to wrangle some kind of compromise from the onerous traditionalists whom Cloud Recesses revered as their Elders. 

和离 heli - an amicable separation. That was the best course of action, to save face and to preserve the peace between their clans. 

But with rumours festering in every corner of their realm, passed from mouth to ear and mouth to ear again, embellished and dramatized along the way, it was not feasible anymore to settle this under the table.

More than just the relationship between three individuals, the reputation and dignity of two major clans rested on the line. 

As a married woman in this world, Jiang Yanli knew as much as her mother knew, as much as any women knew, that this line was more often than not painted with blood. 

“Did Gusu Lan voice any demands from us?”

“Not as of yet,” Jiang Fengmian replied. “Though, they invited your mother and I to Cloud Recesses in a week’s time to discuss what to do be done. They did not say in as many words, but we must prepare ourselves for the possibility that they intend to ‘xiu’fu’.”

Yanli gasped, “They want to ‘xiu’ A-Xian?” For something that was at best only half his fault?

‘xiu’fu’ was not just a divorce. It was a condemnation, like discarding a pair of used old shoes, dregs to be tossed out. It was the fate of almost every woman found guilty of betraying her marriage bed, and some for reasons even less than that. The unfortunates who were ‘xiu’-ed by their husbands could never wash themselves clean of the stain upon their persons. They lived a ruined life, a half-life plagued by gossips and scorn, not...that they lived all that long in the end.

A-Xian may not be a woman, but theirs was a gendered society, and his marrying out of Yunmeng Jiang and into Gusu Lan had fixed his position in a lower stratum. Because of this, his outcome would not be much better.  

The horrifying truth was, Jiang Yanli could not dispute that Gusu Lan Sect and Lan Xichen were well within their rights to do whatever they damn well pleased. 

Except they cannot deny that Lan Wangji is just as culpable. That is the only card we have left to play... 

While she struggled internally with the fine minutiae of social niceties, her brother Jiang Cheng’s thoughts were going down an entirely different path. 

“Why is it that none of you are indignant?!” He stomped his feet, fist clenched and shaking. “Have you for one second even considered that maybe Wei Wuxian wasn’t even a willing participant? That Lan Wangji had - had forced himself on - on...” A-Cheng trailed off, the end of that sentence too gruesome to complete. His meaning, however, was lost on no one. 

Jiang Yanli sighed, touched by the extent of A-Cheng’s concern. Though perhaps in this one instance, he really did overreach. Not that this wouldn’t be a possibility of course, and had the accused been her and not A-Xian, and the man been - hm say Jin Zixun- and not Lan Wangji, then what he suggested would be at the forefront of their parents’ suspicions. Except Wei Wuxian was not Jiang Yanli. Zewu-jun did not marry him solely for his pretty face. By all standards, he was a proficient cultivator, even more powerful now that he’s matured and come into his own. That anyone could wrangled him on his back for that kind of purpose was indeed not very likely, and besides - 

“Lan Zhan, would you like to hold him? Hold Rulan?” 

“Mn? Looks heavy.” 

“Lan Zhan!” 

No, decided Jiang Yanli, her brother’s laughter still echoing in her memory. It was far more plausible that this love affair was more love than affair, which was why the wound it would inevitably leave behind for both A-Xian and Lan Wangji would be that much harder to heal.  

She turned her attention back to Jiang Cheng, who had picked up on his tirade again and ploughed forth uninhibited. 

“Look at you both. Look at this family, if it even is that at all! Wei Wuxian is at Cloud Recesses right now, suffering, and none of you even care! You only care about what this will do to Lotus Pier's image. A-die, you claim to love him, doted on him his whole life, but where are you now that he needs you?! A-niang, Cangse Sanren is dead. She did not raise him, you did! And even if he is Father’s son, so what, so what?! Has he not done everything you ever asked him? Has he not made Lotus Pier proud? Do you even know how many bastards Jin Guangshan has floating around unclaimed?! Yunmeng only has one Wei Wuxian, and blood or not, I only have one brother!"

Jiang Cheng broke off abruptly, face wet with tears. He made a rough swipe at them with his sleeves, but spoke no more. Jiang Yanli wasn’t sure if it was because his audacity had shocked even himself or if he had realized that any more unfiltered outbursts and Madam Yu really would let him have a taste of Zidian’s sting. 

Knowing he had unloaded a lot of bold words that were the epitome of impertinent behaviour, and not wishing to stick around to find out their consequences, Jiang Cheng grabbed Sandu and spun on his heels. 

Purple electricity zipped through the air as the whip tail clacked against the door frame, jolting him sideways. 

“Where do you think you’re going boy? Stop at once!"

"I'm going to Cloud Recesses and getting my brother back! If Gusu Lan doesn't want him, then I will not leave him there to be abused! He deserves to come home, and to hell with them!"

“A-Cheng, A-Cheng, didi, wait, wait!” Jiang Yanli rushed to his side, stopping him in his track. “Impulsivity solves nothing. We cannot rush this. A-die, a-niang, A-Cheng has obviously had quite a shock, as we all have. He isn’t himself; please forgive him for his earlier rudeness. I’ll take him out to the river to cool off. Come, A-Cheng, come along.” 

Begrudgingly, Jiang Cheng allowed himself to be dragged away by his sister. 

“Not a word from you until we’re out of earshot,” she whispered to him. 

Wilting, he obeyed. 

Jiang Yanli kept a tight grip on this brother of hers. She knew she had to think of a solution quickly and carefully. If not, then by the week’s end, A-Cheng could very well be the only brother she had left.   

[part 4]

[trip-downtheriverstyx]

We could get married.

Hades also did not see this coming.

He'd leaned back and he'd listened because he could sense the limit of his own patience. He stepped up to the edge of it, and did not trust himself to say anything else now that wouldn't be misconstrued as an attack. It was what Lou wanted from him. Lou wanted the excuse to run -- to claim once again that he was faultless and it was instead Belle and Hades who had held the sword over his head and delighted in its swinging.

And so he held his tongue, hope trickling out like sand in an hourglass. After months of wanting this conversation, how was it that it was going so badly now that they were having it?

And then Belle proposed marriage. That was what it was, wasn't it? It was a proposal, not given on bended knee, but extended like a hand to hold.

And immediately, the fire caught in Hades's chest and he sat up straight again. "Oh-- oh Belle, you're a genius!" he exclaimed, like it was the answer to an ancient riddle.

But it was. He knew Lou and Belle knew Lou too. To Lou, marriage was sacred. It was the first and largest wound in his life, the beginning for him and the end. All his scars he could trace back like ley lines to the moment of his parents' divorce. To Lou, there could never be divorce. Marriage must outlast all trials; anything less was abomination.

If Lou agreed to marriage, then he agreed to stay. There would still be fighting. There would still be disease. But marriage would always be the checkmate that Lou would never outmaneuver.

Put that way, it might sound like a cage. But Lou was no wild animal, despite the wolf in his blood. He longed for a cage, longed for a collar, wanted the leash.

So here it was.

And of course Hades wanted it. He had only ever wanted the three of them together. Marriage was not nearly as sacred to Hades, but he recognized its power. It had saved him from death once; it could save his family again.

He glanced from Belle back to Lou and the smile appeared on his lips as a challenge. "I agree with Belle. We should get married. All of us. You, an Acheron." A beat. "Or perhaps a Bonfamille-Acheron. Well, the name itself isn't important. But the promise is, if you'll have us."

@lou-bonfightme @labellerose-acheron

Let Me Hold It Lightly || [Loud Bell]

[fangirl-sansa]

Youtuber MC - Part 3

Summary: Mc and the demon brothers find out they are in a game, they gain the access to watch a YouTuber's (who is MC) gameplay of the game. This basically allows the bros to hear MC’s true thoughts through their gameplay commentary

MC: This MC is based on my gameplay of the game and my thoughts. Although the MC is based on me I will be writing them with gender-neutral pronouns for all readers to enjoy :).  

Warnings: Eventually spoilers

The in-game text will be marked by italics.  

As this was being said Solomon shot Simeon a knowing look and smile which was quickly returned, but went unnoticed by the others. The attention of the room was then shifted as the Onscreen MC began their outro.

“Okay my lovelies that is all I will be playing for today. So far we’ve met all the brothers, I think except one and we have found a brethren of ours. None other than our fellow Otaku Levi, he is kind of mean to me but I’m sure we can win him over. Also Mammon just straight up ditched me, but it’s fine, whatever. Anyway don’t forget to subscribe, like, and comment, and I will see y’all next time.”

Off-screen MC clicked onto the next video. After the intro onscreen MC and Levi were still chatting in Levi’s room.

Levi:I don’t think there’s any harm in just coming out and saying what you already know is true; Mammon is a complete and utter scumbag. It’s very important that you understand this. So I’ll say it one more time. Mammon is a hopeless worthless scumbag.

“Goddamn Levi. Everyone is really laying it on thick that Mammon is a scumbag, I really don’t think he could possibly be that bad,” the MC onscreen said

“Oi see MC always thought the Great Mammon was good,” shouted mammon off-screen.

“Actually they said they don’t think you could be that bad, considering how impossibly awful you are that comes as no surprise,” chimed in Asmo

“Actually, I don’t think Mammon is bad at all,” off-screen MC added.

“Yeah! See MC doesn’t think I’m a scumbag end of story,” Mammon finished.

Back onscreen Levi was telling the tale of how he and Mammon first became “enemies.”

Levi:...As I started to lose consciousness, I remember thinking...why does he have to sleep in the nude? He could at least put on some underwear. I don’t remember anything else after that...

“Haha! Wow there is a lot to unpack there, but moral of the story Mammon is super strong, good to note,” MC onscreen observed. 

Levi: You’ve seen just how fast he is yourself, haven’t you? No one aside from Lucifer or Beel has that kind of speed. But if, say, a human made a pact with Mammon and bound him to their service...then he’d have to do whatever that human told him to.

“A pact? Like selling my soul?,” questioned MC onscreen.

MC: I don’t want to give up my soul!

Levi: That isn’t always necessary. It depends on what’s in the pact. But, well, you need to give SOMETHING to the demon to make it worth the exchange, so it’s pretty much inevitable. If you don’t want to give up your soul, then I’ll tell you how you can negotiate with Mammon

MC: How would I go about doing that?

Levi: If you just walk up to Mammon and ask him to make a pact with you, he’ll never agree. No, you need some leverage... something he wants so badly that he’d do ANYTHING to get it.

“Aw I don’t want to like force Mammon to make a pact with me. That feels so icky,” complained onscreen MC. 

The lesson ends and onscreen MC continues to the next one. The scene shows MC walking to class passing two nearby demons.

Demon A: Hey check it out. That’s the human that everyone’s been talking about. You think it’s true what they say, that Mammon became a babysitter?

Demon B: Well, if so, then I’d say that actually works out great, doncha think? If we wait and strike when he’s not paying attention, he’ll never figure out it was us. 

“Okay, so we can either run away or make a move. Earlier Mammon told us to always run away so I’m going to follow his advice and do just that.” 

Solomon: Hey, you there. That’s right, I’m talking to you, the human with that frightened, tormented look on your face that demons love so much. You’re practically screaming “Come and eat me! I’m scrumptious!” Your name’s MC, isn’t it?

“Okay first of all, rude, secondly I assume this is the other human in the exchange program,” stated Onscreen MC.

At this Solomon off-screen let out a light chuckle as he half-heartedly apologized to MC. 

Solomon: This D.D.D here belongs to you, right? I saw you drop it just now. Here, take it. 

“Thanks...,” MC onscreen said. 

Solomon: Haha. What’s with that look? there’s no need to be suspicious of me. My Name’s Solomon. I’m an exchange student from the human world, just like you. Nice to meet you, Johanna.

“Okay, no offense, Solomon, but you are suspicious, well maybe more mysterious I guess,” said MC onscreen. “Also, it’s interesting that he’s named Solomon, like King Solomon from the bible. Okay, so, my three options are ‘I need your help’ I’m not asking that, ‘How do you know my name?’ and ‘Are you really human.’”

MC: Are you really human?

Solomon: Haha, good question. Honestly, there are times when even I’m not so sure. Long ago, I obtained a ring of wisdom- a gift from a certain someone in a VERY high position. And, drunk on its power, I used it to form pacts with 72 different demons, becoming a wicked sorcerer...That is, if you believe all the stories people tell about me. 

“That is super interesting, I don’t know about the Bible, but in the Quran King Solomon actually got his powers from God himself. He had many powers but his most notable being that he ruled every being on Earth, including Gin (Quran version of demons basically,) but he was considered a good guy and a prophet of God, not a wicked sorcerer. So that’s just an interesting parallel there,” Onscreen MC spoke.

At this everyone in the room grew quiet taking in MC’s words, not fully understanding what they were referring to. 

Solomon: Regardless, I’m fairly sure that I am indeed still human, though it may not seem like it...Uh-oh. I’d better get going. See you around, MC. Take care of yourself.

“Okay, that was weird and I’m immediately interested in learning more about Solomon”

Lucifer: Good morning, Johanna

“Good morning, Lucifer <3,” MC said in a singsong voice

At this Lucifer smirked, earning a certain knowing look from Diavolo before scowling again. 

MC: Good morning, sir. 

Lucifer: Looks like you made it through the night without being eaten. Good for you. Still, there’s no guarantee that you’ll make it to tomorrow. Was that Solomon I saw you talking with either?  Seeing as you’re both human, it’s fine if you associate with him, but know that he can’t be trusted. 

“Awe, is Lucifer jealous of little ole Solomon,” teased the onscreen MC.

At this Solomon let out a laugh, while Belphie and Satan smirked at each other and then MC. Lucifer just scowled more. 

Lucifer: He may be a mere human, but he has a ring imbued with wisdom, and he wields powerful magic. He’s the type of man who will try to subjugate even a powerful, greater demon if he gets the chance. 

MC: that reminds me of what Leviathan said...

After that the scene ended and MC began their usual outro. While they spoke Solomon turned to MC

“So, I’m suspicious and mysterious?” 

MC blushed then replied with “Okay, everyone at that time was suspicious and mysterious to me. Unlike you I only had the knowledge of what various religions said which to be frank wasn’t very helpful.” 

“Human religions are weird and very misconstrued. Especially with the relationship of the three realms,” acknowledged Satan. 

“You know considering the information you came to Devildom with you adjusted quite quickly, MC,” added Simeon.

“I think it’s always good to have an open mind and just go with the flow sometimes,” finished MC 

[shinjaeha]

itsay ep 5 (thoughts + spoilers)

i feel like i’m on a high that i’ll never come down from :))) the itsay effect. this show is truly a cultural reset.

first up, i just want to say that i have never been more worried about a final ep before IN MY LIFE. for the past couple eps, i’ve tried to watch them live raw, but for this one, i was afraid of spoilers (and wanted to understand everything from the first watch), so i waited for the vimeo ep to drop and let me tell you...that was both the longest and shortest wait ever...the excitement and the dread i’ve been feeling this whole week has been unreal.

as usual, this is not an analysis. tbh there’s prob going to be even less analysing in this one bc most of the time i was either crying or yelling at my screen (and i feel like this ep in general didn’t have as many scenes to analyse?). but god, i’m SO GLAD that they gave us a happy ending bc it would have broken me into pieces if i had to rewatch and recap this knowing everything had fallen apart for them (ecstatic that wasn’t the case, and my feelings from last ep on how things might go in this one actually panned out!!). after what went down in ep 4, i always thought that that was going to be the peak of the climax/conflict, and that this one was going to be much more of a healing ep...the ep that would bring more closure to each of the characters and their relationships, as well as wrap things up as a final ep should.

so the way this ep starts is actually kind of anti-climactic. esp after the intense emotions of what happened at the end of ep 4. which is understandable? like they were being petty teenagers angry at one another, but now it’s a few days later, and all those heated emotions have tempered down. they’re in that awkward stage where neither of them even know how to start approaching one another after the loaded feelings of the last ep (basically this is what happened to them when they were children. no one reached out, and they both drifted apart...only now they’re aware of what might happen if no one reaches out and it’s a question of whether they let history repeat itself).

oh-aew using the cue cards that teh gave him and being worried ;;; doing that thing that teh told him about writing something over and over again when he can’t say it out loud...teh deleting his line chat history ;;; i was torn with this one bc on one hand noooooo, but on the other, it could be representing them starting anew again?? ALSO, they always know how to make the most of the ost in this show (i think it’s the can’t translate/lost in translation instrumental?). i was literally shaking the first time i watched this.

i was actually very worried about how his mum was going to treat him after last ep...i thought she would be angry/ignore him, and i was feeling so anxious about it...maybe bc i personally know what that’s like. that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you’re scared of how they’ll react to you after a fight. teh wanting to make his mum proud is hugely important to him, so when she handed him the plate, i actually let out a sigh of relief. i’m glad that his mum understood and backed him when he needed it most (she may not be fully all the way there yet, but feelings are raw and it takes time). and i already knew hoon would, so i wasn’t too worried on that front.

tarn is so good for teh, and i really see why they were drawn to each other. but i like how she’s prioritising what’s right for her, and also telling him like it is. they need to focus on their studies now and figure out the other stuff later.

teh loitering outside the tutoring classroom before entering sort of reminds me of ep 1 when teh and oh-aew met up for the first time after their first fight...just this time it’s less straight up antagonism between the two of them and more hurt feelings as they avoid each other instead. i also appreciate the gang during this. they’re so normal and encouraging about the whole situation. they know something went down between teh and oh-aew, but they don’t really press too much about it. just let teh know that they’re here if he needs someone to talk to.

the ep 5 trailer played us!!!!!!! i was WONDERING why oh-aew would suddenly say all that nice stuff about bas (not that bas doesn’t deserve the nice stuff, he’s an ANGEL) in front of class, but their teacher was the one that put them up to it. the horror i felt as i watched teh look straight at oh-aew but turn to bless phillip instead and then start on that whole spiel about how phillip “never sees the good intentions of friends as worthless. never says ‘no’ to what friends give you” and how he’ll never leave him because of that. ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF OH-AEW’S SALAD...STOP TEH. PLEASE. he’s digging himself into this hole himself with the passive aggressiveness again. THEN BAS COMING IN TO STEAL THIS WHOLE SCENE. i don’t think any of us were expecting him to be as forward as he was but omg. he laid it all out on the line in the way that teh couldn’t (at this point in time). i’m really, really glad that oh-aew got to hear what bas thought of him though, and that bas got to tell oh-aew all his feelings. nothing is misconstrued. he’s so brave and the utter respect i have for him increased by tenfold...what a fantastic character. just so sure and convinced in how he feels, and so uncaring of what anyone else thinks. it’s so damn refreshing. and for oh-aew to know that there’s nothing wrong with him at all. that he’s desirable and wanted and loved (it calls back to ep 4 when oh-aew’s sobbing and desperately asking teh “what did i do wrong??” again and again). it must have meant so much to him. the conflict i felt in my heart watching that and knowing that bas would be SUCH a good guy for oh-aew, but also knowing that sometimes that’s just not enough.

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TEH’S REACTION TO ALL THIS. he’s truly facing the consequences of his actions in this one. but just imagine being in this position, being too scared to own up to your own heart, and then watching this other boy do it like it’s the easiest thing in the world?? like it’s just another regular day?? like it’s nothing?? all to the boy that you’re in love with. to the boy that wanted this exact thing from you, but you couldn’t give. it’s like teh’s watching oh-aew slip through his very fingers, but knowing that it’s bc he never had oh-aew in the first place (and the reason for that is himself). i also really love how no one in class (including their teacher) makes a big deal out of this? they’re all just applauding bc it’s a sweet confession. it would be so jarring for teh to see this acceptance when the fear of society not accepting his feelings for oh-aew is one of the reasons he can’t accept them himself.

anyway, i had like one thought in this next scene and it was just DRINK THE COCONUT TEH. DRINK IT!!!!!!! so nice to see how his fam loves and believes in him.

teh watching on as bas and oh-aew take the first step with their left foot :(((

LOVE how they use the firecrackers going off to represent anytime there’s some sort of shift in teh and oh-aew’s relationship (when they first met, when they had their first fight, and now again when they talk for the first time after the fight and oh-aew tells him teh that he and bas are dating now). it’s such a great way to symbolise the spark and passion of their relationship. anyway, this meeting mostly consists of the both of them trying not to cry as they act civil with one another and skirt around what happened. teh asking about what the deal is with oh-aew and bas is like a parallel with what happened last ep when oh-aew asked about teh and tarn...only this time oh-aew and bas are actually dating...man, this is really not the kind of news you want to hear right when you’re about to sit one of your most important exams ever :/// teh holding himself together until the moment oh-aew leaves and then just having a fucking meltdown over the news :((( as always, it just hurts to see teh torture himself in this way. but esp when he’s supposed to be sitting his exam and he just can’t stop crying in the exam room (been in that position and have almost done the same thing before). when he hadn’t finished his exam and they were like “time’s up, pencils down” the sheer panic i felt at this...ugh. i hate it.

the elation on bas’ face when oh-aew asks him out for chinese new year. he’s the cutest. THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST. and then when he holds oh-aew’s hand????? the boldness of it. he. just. does. not. care. i wish i had that sort of confidence!! oh-aew’s shock at this too. his realisation that it’s okay. that this is okay. and then bas being all “why would i be?” after oh-aew asks if he’s embarrassed. bas is literally giving oh-aew everything that he wanted from teh and more (compare this to that scene in ep 3 where teh and oh-aew grazes hands but don’t hold each other’s hands). he’s proud to be with him and to show the world. and, you know what?? i would do anything in the world for bas to be happy.

AND HERE WE HAVE IT. MY LONG AWAITED HOON/TEH HEART TO HEART. i wanted teh to tell hoon soooooooo badly, so to hear the words come out of his mouth...that his brother was the first person he told. i felt so relieved bc i knew that hoon would support him no matter what. the struggle in teh’s face and words...he fought so long and hard against ever admitting these feelings to someone else out loud that it would have felt so incredibly terrifying, yet also like a weight being lifted off his chest, to finally get them out there. to have someone else know his secret. and to know that his brother loves him unconditionally regardless. “if you like him, you go after him” THE WAY I SOBBED DURING THIS. i really loved what hoon said to teh. he didn’t sugarcoat things and say that everything was going to be fine if teh liked boys too. not every single person you meet is going to be okay with who you are, that’s just a fact, but i loved that he emphasised to teh that HE was okay with it. it’s just what teh needed to hear. and that it might take their mum some time to accept it too, but all she truly wants is for teh to be happy. just the feeling of hearing his brother, someone that he very clearly looks up to and respects, tell him that he can like whoever he wants to like?? that it’s all up to him and he’ll still be there for him whoever he wants to be with?? teh sorely needed that and i’m glad he got it. hoon encouraging him to go fight for his love!!!!!!! i was cry laughing at how teh just starts bawling his eyes out at hoon telling him to go after oh-aew, but then teh telling him that it’s too late for him bc he likes someone else. like from hoon’s perspective, he’s prob just like ‘this is so needlessly dramatic’ and the sibling energy during that whole part is too real. i love them.

watching bas/oh-aew with the rest of the gang and their respective girlfriends really makes you realise how open and accepting they all are. like teh was terrified in the scene just before about how his friends might not accept him and oh-aew, but then you see them here with bas/oh-aew and no one even cares (which i expected bc they’ve been supportive since day one, but it’s just nice to see in practice too). oh-aew teasing them all ahhh. cute. phillip being the relatable only single guy there (me at every gathering i go to with my relatives omg).

THE PIANIST PLAYING SKYLINE. they really wanted us all to be SAD sad huh, and they succeeded. how it pans to oh-aew and this song is yet ANOTHER reminder of teh...you know he’s thinking about cape scene where they were singing and translating to one another. on the day they made their promise to each other :( and teh being there too??????? all alone with his bowl of oh-aew on the table. feeling the exact same heartbreak that oh-aew’s feeling too :( it’s the way that so much of their relationship is beyond words for me. but they’re also both hurting so much that i just want to push them together and make them talk so they can clear everything up.

hoon talking in cute japanese to nozomi on the phone while teh goes through oh-aew’s old worksheets and cries I HATE IT HERE. i love the different ways in which teh has smelt oh-aew���s coconut scent since ep 2. how it evolves from curiosity to desire to him heartbrokenly reminiscing, every feeling changing with the shifts in their relationship.

can i just say that oh-aew’s parents are ADORABLE. but also, finding out exam results is the worst kind of anxiety. was so happy that oh-aew got in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he worked his ass off for this :’))) teh not getting his first pick wasn’t altogether surprising bc it did feel like they were leading up to this. but when he apologised to his mum about it ;;; noooo, she’s so proud of you. as someone who’s been through this process before (and didn’t get my first pick either), it always feels like it’s end of the world when you don’t get the uni pick that you want, but it really isn’t. still, it sucks when you’re in the moment there’s no denying that. but i get that it’s also particularly sad for teh since he’d already basically gotten his first pick before he gave it up for oh-aew. but again, it’s all part of the learning process, and the consequences for his actions. 

BAS BEING BEST BOY EVER YET AGAIN. how he knows exactly how oh-aew feels bc he feels it too, but he never imposes those feelings on oh-aew. he knows that oh-aew’s heart isn’t with him, can’t be when it’s with someone else, and bc he cares that much about oh-aew, he guides him in teh’s direction. it’s never a good idea to date someone who’s hung up on someone else, but i’m glad that they tried at the very least. the both of them did what they could, and oh-aew needed to experience it to know. i’m really glad that bas was there to make oh-aew realise how worth it he is too...and bas deserves someone that loves him back just as much as he loves them. seeing bas cry is the worst experience ever. 0/5. never want this ever again thank u. their hug scene was just devastating, and worse still bc it’s not anyone’s fault...you just can’t help how you feel, and that’s just the way it is sometimes.

idk why but for me, the scene with tarn was possibly the hardest scene for me to watch in this ep. it’s interesting how he’s wearing the shirt that oh-aew was wearing in ep 3 in this scene (with the bold ‘sunset’ lettering). i guess it symbolises him being ready to open up about his feelings on where their relationship is heading? either way, she’s a great friend. she’s so encouraging, and understands him and his ambitions to a tee. the both of them are always filled with such fierce determination. they just know what they want and go for it. but that’s also why these past couple eps have been all the more confusing for teh since he’s always been so sure of himself before. how she tells him that no one can take away his identity and that no one can take his dream away from him?? all these characters just knowing exactly what teh needs at the right time. she’s so incredible. no wonder teh is so scared of losing her as a friend. it’s great that he apologised for how he treated her last ep bc it’s def the least that she deserves. that being said, watching her heart get broken as teh tells her that his feelings for her have changed and asking if they can still be friends...like damn, that fucking hurts. there’s something in tarn’s face in this scene that stays with me every time i watch it, and it’s that heavy feeling of knowing that the opportunity is missed. they had the potential to have been something, but it’s slipped by now, and now they can’t go back to those initial feelings anymore. too much has changed. but it’s also that she, like bas, values teh’s happiness too much. values their friendship so much that even if she’s heartbroken, she can still overcome those feelings of heartbreak bc she cares for teh so deeply and wants to see him happy. despite the pain she’s feeling, she still encourages him to make the first move and talk with oh-aew bc she knows that oh-aew is who makes him happy. anyway, we already established this in my last rant text post for ep 4, but i love tarn with my whole heart and only ever want her happiness too. the purple hibiscus in her drawing for teh was like a final stab to the heart :(((

what i love about bas and tarn is that neither of them are the bad guys in this situation. this drama has no outright antagonist, and a lot of the time in BLs (even in standard dramas in general) that’s what the secondary love interests are used as...a hindrance for the main couple to get over. but the both of them are written (and acted) with such respect and care. it’s really hard not to fall in love with them too. the real conflict and antagonism mostly comes from within teh himself, so this series is his own journey to overcome that. a true coming of age story.

oh-aew in his uni uniform!!!!!!!!!!! cue me constantly chanting “come through, teh” over and over as oh-aew passed the restaurant hoping to see him. and I KNEW HE WOULD. not me bursting into tears as soon as they show him following oh-aew on the motorbike ;;;;;;; he loves oh-aew too much, and this was too important, he was never going to back out on this promise. i mean, he gave up his uni spot for oh-aew so he could keep this promise. technically, if you think about it, it worked in a roundabout way bc teh giving up his place was what made oh-aew decide to do the admission exam again...and better still bc he got into his first place uni all on his own accord. he proved to teh that he could do it like he always wanted to.

love that teh pushes the good luck coconuts onto oh-aew too, like his mum and brother always do for him. it’s cute. when they go to the temple again, and the significance of it being open this time so they don’t have to sneak in anymore????? my heart is FULL. another thing i love is how teh’s kind of behaving like how oh-aew did in ep 3?? being flirty?? almost toying with him?? like that part when they’re drinking the coconuts together, and he sort of slides backwards drinking the coconut, eyes not leaving oh-aew before bouncing away. that’s an oh-aew move okay. and, as always, teh encouraging oh-aew when he’s down bc the sun isn’t out. rival and inspiration. i love them more than words could ever describe.

skyline instrumental is legit the perfect song bc sometimes when you listen to it, it can make you feel like you’ll never be happy again, but then other times (like when they’re walking to the tip of the cape), it’s like a shot of pure hope to your chest. that shot of them going through the trees and right into the open space of the tip of the cape with the sun shining all around them was BEAUTIFUL. the freedom of it all, of no longer being constrained. seriously, these shots of the two of them standing in front of the golden glow of the sun are just *chef’s kiss* so stunning. cinematography on point (but when did this show ever fail me on that front).

“when i gave it, i really gave it to you” I’M NEVER GONNA STOP CRYING. i literally cannot watch this part without getting choked up and/or screaming. they’ve missed each other so much, and it’s piecing the broken bits of my heart after the last 4 eps back together again. THEY’RE FINALLY TALKING.

okay i really have to talk about this scene when oh-aew asks teh “how about you and i?” bc of the war flashbacks i’m having back to the last time this question was asked and how disastrous that turned out. it’s in how oh-aew asks it and reads teh’s hesitancy as teh thinking the same as he did last time...oh-aew’s fake smile (the same smile he put on when he asked teh how things were between him and tarn and teh told him they were pretty much the same) when he thinks that teh still isn’t willing to acknowledge he likes him back. it’s how oh-aew is willing to accept ANYTHING from teh...whether he wants to be friend or a rival...whether teh likes or hates him...as long as teh stays in his life. he’s willing to accept whatever teh wants to define them as bc he’s just missed teh so much and can’t stand to be away from him. and it’s like this is what finally clicks in for teh. that restricting himself this way is only ever going to constantly hurt the both of them. teh finally saw past himself, and realised what this meant to oh-aew. it’s like he’s finally looking at oh-aew and seeing what oh-aew needs most (has always needed most), and that in turn helps him gain the courage to say it out loud bc the love he feels for oh-aew (and for himself) is ultimately stronger than any fear he has about society not accepting them. it’s such a beautiful scene. after pushing back at himself and his feelings time and time again, he can’t deny himself anymore. his character arc has come full circle ;;; everything teh’s done in previous eps for oh-aew has shown how much he really loves and cares for him, so it just makes me happy that he released his breath and let himself be happy. it’s all i ever wanted for him.

the amount of tears i shed at teh asking oh-aew to be his boyfriend...i knew teh was very likely going to give in to his feelings for oh-aew at this point, but this was even more than i expected. that was so SMOOTH. oh-aew bursting into tears after that...SAME. then the hug in the sunset WITH the new ost song. and that last shot of teh’s handwritten full pages of ‘love’...they did the MOST with this and i’ll never ever ever be over it.

then the part 2 announcement!!!!!!!!!!!!! after so much angst, i can barely believe we’ve been given so much in such a short space of time omg. i love how teh’s tie is red and oh-aew’s tie is blue for their respective uni uniforms. ADORABLE

i know everyone was afraid (myself included) that this was going to end sad from the get go. from the trailer to the ost, we were all TERRIFIED bc realistic shows like this often end in heartbreak. we’re so used to it. but i saw someone describe itsay as a love letter to the lgbtq+ community, and i totally agree. it could very well have ended tragic/sad, but instead they subverted our expectations of the traditional ‘bury your gays’/sad gay ending we’re so used to and gave us a story that showed us that there’s realism in happiness too. there are so many struggles and hardships that lgbtq+ people have to go through bc of the world that we live in, but they CAN be happy too. this post that nadao tweeted of teh crossing out the lyrics of skyline and writing “let me set my own destiny“ instead is SO powerful, and shows the immense character growth he’s gone through over the course of the series. it made every single tear that i have shed for this show completely and utterly worth it.

i’ve mentioned this multiple times before, but i’m so grateful to nadao for giving us this drama. literally one of the best dramas that i have ever watched in my entire life. i’ve never felt so passionately about a show before, or been so attached to the characters and their relationships. everything about it...the directing, the writing, the cinematography, the acting, the soundtrack, EVERYTHING has been set to such an impeccable standard i really don’t know how, or if, i’ll ever get over it (prob not). i know i’m not the only one that thinks so, but it’s truly a masterpiece. i hope it sweeps all the awards bc it’s the least that it deserves. moreover, i’m so happy that their story isn’t over bc this cast of characters are some of my fave characters ever and i genuinely cannot wait to see more of them in march next year :’)

[kaizykat]

I'm going to go and get myself into this discussion because I don't know what's good for me:

Just because someone creates something doesn't mean that people are supposed to enjoy it. Some things are made to prove a point or challenge your beliefs.

It's okay if you don't want to consume that sort of content. I get it. Sometimes all you want is something fluffy and where all the strings tie together at the end. That's fine!

It's also fine if you want to consume something that makes you feel uncomfortable. I'm not just talking about fandom here, either. Impactful works of art are often not easy to swallow.

Hell, I have a t-shirt hanging in my closet that says "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable."

Things like trigger warnings or content advisories are extremely useful tools. They let people know what they're getting into.

I can understand being upset after seeing something that you find disturbing unexpectedly. I hate when that happens, too. But it happens.

Challenging yourself through fiction is a pretty safe way to discover what your own personal worldviews are. The stakes are pretty low when there's no actual people involved.

That's not to say that you should torture yourself by consuming something that you're legitimately triggered by. I have things that I avoid for my own mental health. You have to know your limits.

Just if something makes you feel kind of "Whoa, this is really weird." ask yourself why. Why does it provoke this emotion in you? What is this trying to say?

The answers may reinforce your worldview, but it also might just make you take a moment to question what you believe. That is a major part of growing up.

you don’t need purity in the material you consume

you have a brain, you are capable of critical thinking, you can sift through the material and keep what is edifying for you and discard what isn’t

flaws don’t necessarily make material worthless

[rairaidango]

SEEDS THAT GROW - madasaku, tobisaku, ita(ma)saku, sasusaku

CHAPTER 1 - GOOD THINGS

First chapter of the AU I have in my head. I’m just testing the waters because I’m not sure about continuing this because it’d be pr long? Like long, and maybe slow burn? It’d be a studentxteacher AU bc i’m a sucker for those. Hurt/comfort, but has depressing themes. Angsty? Dont know if its worth writing bc I’m not a writer at all i’m not good at it but I’m giving it a shot !!

TW: Depressing themes, mentions of anxiety, doing drugs and alcohol

It was loud in the house, but at least it was a familiar kind of loud that she could appreciate. People were laughing and yelling and it wasn’t ideal for Sakura, but she was excited to be going out partying. It was rare for her to feel excited about most things but clubbing on freshers week was definitely an opportunity she wanted to take advantage of; she just wanted so badly to have fun again. 

“Sakura! I have more vodka, pass me your cup! I know you’re aiming to get wasted tonight babe!” Ino dragged Sakura to her side of the kitchen counter.

“Honestly, not complaining! I NEED to get drunk, lets go!!” Sakura hollered as Ino poured her a large amount of vodka and mixed it with not enough lemonade. Ino may be an experienced clubber, but she never mixed her drinks right and that’s how Ino always ended up puking by the end of the night.

Not that Ino ever really regretted it though, she lived on the edge. 

More, I want to drink more. Note, get some soju next time to get fucked fast. 4 badly mixed drinks in, she knew she was tipsy and her giggling wasn’t starting to make sense. She was relatively lightweight, but that just meant it was easier for her to get to everyone’s levels. All the girls were laughing, even Hinata was starting to get loud over the music. Sakura was getting more excited by the minute and her smiles were getting wider by the second. This is going to be a fun night. 

“Shall we leave now? If we leave now I think we’ll get in by decent time where we won’t be too late or early.” Tenten spoke loudly over the music. “Plussss I think all of us are on a good level of drunk to dance it out tonight!”

“Oh shit I’ll call an uber now-”

“Wait!! Do it in 5 minutes Temari! I got a present for y’all before our first sem of second year starts..” Ino smiled wickedly. The girls looked at her brows furrowed, unsure of what Ino was leading on to. “Oh come on!! You know! I got some from Shika and for a discount!” Sakura’s eyes widened, she knew exactly what Ino was on about.

“Woah, already? Honestly I forgot we had even tried that in first year!” Sakura smiled as her face fell into her hands, she was even more excited now. “I’ll have just a little okay, because I’m honestly...really tipsy..” Ino grabbed Sakura’s hands and placed the budding joint between her delicate numb fingers. 

“I’ll have me some of that please and thank you! I can’t believe Shikamaru gave it to you for a cheap price! Bitch you’ve been banging him haven’t you?!” Tenten roared across the counter in their kitchen. Wicked was the face Ino plastered on but she simply answered with a zip of her lips. 

“Call the uber!”

It was going to be a night to remember.

--

Lights flashed and Stormzy’s Vossi Bop boomed loudly throughout the club, causing a large roar of students jumping and yelling. Drinks were flying everywhere and the floor was sticky with alcohol, but the girls wouldn’t have preferred it any other way. 

“Oh my god. Ino! Shikamaru is there looking over at you!” Sakura whispered loudly to the blonde’s ears. Ino’s face, already red from alcohol, turned even redder at the mention of the boy’s name. “Go oveerrr come on I know how much you love making out-”

“Shut up forehead!” Ino shouted. She was dancing in the circle of their group squashed by the many other students all jumping and dancing over the loud R&B music. “Okay I’m gonna go over, will you be okay?”

“Of course! I’m not drunk!”

“Yes you are!” Ino laughed. “Finish that drink of yours! That’s like what you’re seventh?” Ino yelled to Sakura’s ear.

“Sakura’s on a mission tonight!” Temari yelled from the centre of their circle and jumped to the music.

Sakura nodded her head grinning as she downed the glass sloppily with the alcohol spilling from her mouth. Sakura was feeling good. Her body was feeling alive with the music, she was having fun, she was with people she loved and trusted, and she couldn’t feel anything but the music on her skin and alcohol on her lips. 

“I’ll be fine!” Sakura reassured her with slurring words, with Hinata and Tenten pulling Sakura closer into their group. Ino nodded and winked at the girls, leaving their tight circle and squeezing her way towards Shikamaru. Sakura wondered how fun it must feel to be chased and wanted the way Ino was. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss the feeling of hands over her waist and the broad shoulders of-

No. Nope. Remember that’s a baaaad trigger and we aren’t going there! 

“Girls shall we get more drinks? Temari’s only tipsy!” Tenten shouted. 

“More drinks!?” Hinata squealed, barely able to hide her own drunken state. 

“Me and Temari will get some, you guys can choose if you want to! But I don’t think Sakura should have anymore.” Tenten laughed looking at Sakura’s slanted smile and red face. 

At the bar it was less crowded, but not by much. The girls had to hold hands and squeeze through people otherwise they’d lose each other in the sea of alcoholic students. Sakura was holding on to Hinata for dear life, pushing people away as she tried to get to the bar. She was just almost there with the girls, until suddenly she was seeing the floor and a pair of strong arms caught her.

“Shit, are you alright?” a soothing voice woke Sakura from her heavy eyes. 

She blinked slightly trying to make the image of the man in front of her, but she couldn’t recognise him. Her vision was so misconstrued and she could barely make out where in the club she was. “Hey, hey, don’t worry, just get up slowly.” the voice told her.

Who...what...who is this? Where’s Tenten? Hinata? Her thoughts ran as she stood up and was pushed into the man in front of her. Ugh...Sakura, remember this, you fell..and..soothing voice. Tall man. Is that black hair?? There’s a certain shine to it... She squinted her eyes trying to focus on the man as her vision kept swaying. Her head was pounding and the club was changing, moving, morphing... but the man was steady in front of her, his eyes looking right at her amongst the chaos of the club. It’s so dark…

She moved closer to him to smell the alcohol on his mouth. Her mouth curved into a small slight smile as she giggled in front of him, not sure of what she was doing. 

“Yeah i’m fine, but...so are you.” she giggled over the music, her voice getting higher by the end of her sentences. She couldn’t really see anything and she could barely hear her own thoughts over the loud blasting music but she could feel his hands on her back. It was innocent, but she liked the warm feeling. The touch, the feel, the electricity.

Maybe it was because she was drunk, but she snaked her arms onto his shoulders and drew her face closer. She wanted to feel more. In the club everything was blurry, she could feel him, and his hands snaked a little lower to her waist. 

“I like..the way you look.” She slurred, her face inches away from his. She could barely even see his face in the dark, but handsome was all she could think of. She saw a smile, or maybe it was a smirk, hell she didn’t know. 

“You’re very drunk.” 

“I know.” He laughed.

“Where are your friends?”

“The bar...”

“Okay, let’s get you back safe to them-” He stopped as her lips crashed onto his. Her body was pressed against his and she could hear him grunting. He didn’t push her away, but she could feel he was hesitant. 

That was, until he hugged her tight and let her tongue slip in. He tasted sweet, but poisonous. She could taste the alcohol in his mouth mixed with a sweetness that tasted foreign. Her hands slid behind his neck and into his hair as he pushed his mouth against hers even harder. It felt so good, and there was a rush of adrenaline rising in Sakura’s body on top of every other intoxication that was swirling inside her. 

Sakura remember this, remember this...you made out with this tall man, he smells like…citrus?

She tightened her hold on his hair, desperate to fall in this delightful, hazy and hot moment. She almost forgot what a hot makeout session with someone felt and tasted like; oh how she fucking missed this.

He pulled back with heavy breaths; his eyes and large hands were still on her, and she felt so at large in this fuzzy busy place swamped with other drunks. She was catching her breath as well whilst trying to get a hold of her vision. She looked down and noticed just how close they really were, and how much bigger than her he really was. 

He chuckled, a small goofy grin on his face. 

He was really cute. 

“Sakura! There you are- HEY GET OFF HER!” Sakura whipped her head in a daze to the familiar voice.

“Temari?” The said girl yanked the pink haired student away from the arms of the man. Sakura fell back into Temari’s hold giggling cheekily, glancing at the other girls.

“Sakura are you okay? Sorry I let go, you just fell and then I couldn't find you because of all the people!” Hinata cried out.

“Did the man hurt you?” Tenten asked.

“Nope!” Sakura chuckled. She was clearly drunk, and if her literally hanging onto Temari’s shoulders wasn’t enough indication of her alcoholic state, her red blushed face definitely said ‘drunk’.

“Sorry to trouble you, hope she’s fine.” He turned to the drunk girl he had the pleasure of making out with. “Happy I caught you.” He grinned, and slipped past the dancing crowd.

All she remembered was seeing a glimmer of red before her vision had darkened and faded to black.

--

“Alright, so make sure to study this chapter for next week’s class. And a reminder, all of you should have started your assignment this week even though we’re only two weeks in. I expect good work.” 

Sakura typed out the notes on the projection. This was her last class of the day, and thank god it was because she was exhausted. Second year had started more like a rollercoaster than first year had; she was ready to get into her books and assignments but this was another level of crazy. It sucked to be frank. She was excited to get back to studying and really wanted to do well, she had the motivation to excel like how she would normally be able to. However, she hasn’t been able to locate that person. She wasn’t failing, but she wasn’t working at her usual efficient standards and this was not a Sakura that she wanted to be. 

But it’s the Sakura she has been for over a year now. 

“Haruno Sakura?” a deep voice called. She looked up from her bag and saw her professor. 

“Yes sir?”

“You don’t have to call me sir, just Madara is fine. No need for that, you're in second year.” He said calmly with a slight smile. Sakura nodded and smiled embarrassingly. “About the introductory session you volunteered to help with, are you still doing that?”

Ah fuck. Sakura totally forgot about that. She had signed up to help volunteer with the session for people aspiring to do medicine in University of Konoha. 

“Yes sir- uh Madara.” The name felt weird in her mouth. 

“Okay, good. There’s a meeting later today at 5pm, you should have gotten an email about it?”

“I must have missed it, sorry. It’s been really hectic but I’ll definitely be there.”

“I understand, it’s very different from the first year experience isn’t it?” he chuckled, arms crossed.

“It really is, but I’ll be fine. And I’ll be there today at 5pm.” she repeated, not so much to reassure Madara but more to remind herself. 

“Alright, I’ll see you later. Keep up the work.” He waved off as he walked away. Sakura let out a breath she was holding. She didn’t know Madara very well but had occasionally passed by him in first year. He was a very tall man with a brooding face, but he wasn’t very scary in all honesty. He was actually quite friendly for the serious face he had.

It was just Sakura who was anxious speaking to people.

You’d think at 21, in her second year of university, having done 3 months of an internship with the well known Konoha Hospital shadowing the famous Tsunade, that she would be confident enough to talk to her professor. Even her coursemates. Or really, anyone. That guy who works for the sim card company. The cafeteria people. Honestly, this was a problem for her. She was always so anxious when there was a conversation she hadn’t planned on having; but it wasn’t always like this. At least she doesn’t sound anxious, she could fake the confidence.

She was out of the medical building and on her way to the cafe street where she would meet Ino. She needed to just talk. 

Kokoro Kafe was their meeting spot. She entered the softly illuminated cafe. Smiling to herself, she remembered why this was their meeting spot. It was adorned with gold lined lights hanging from variable lengths, pink and grey walls with pink LED lights; all of it was so very pretty. The serving counter and cashier were situated in the centre of the large cafe, like an island amongst the sea of pink and yellow lights. It had such an urban but almost angelic atmosphere to it, making it very welcoming for the many students and teachers of UoK. 

“Forehead!” a blonde with a high ponytail that could only be Ino, stood up waving. Sakura smiled, jogging to the back of the cafe. “I ordered you your fave, mint chocolate chip ice cream and sprinkles on top. I also got a large hot coco to share because you look like you need it!” Ino exclaimed, pushing the hot coco with frothy whip cream towards Sakura.

“It’s honestly just been such a long day. I had Kakashi from 9 to 12 and then Madara from 12.30 to 3.30? I’m just exhausted. I barely slept last night because I was trying to get through my damn assignment. Honestly I don’t know how you girls are not as stressed out as me..” The pink haired girl let out an exasperated sigh sipping the hot coco.

“I saw your lights on last night, at like...5am? Are you overworking already? Babe I’m really worried about you. You were alright before uni started.”

“I guess yeah I was...I don’t really know Ino it’s just...I don’t know why I’m like this.”

“Have you talked to your therapist yet?” worried features dawned on Ino’s face.

Their usual chatter bounced off each other and was filled with gossip and laughter. But silence ensued between the two friends. 

“I haven’t…”

“When was the last time?”

“I...a while ago. I just, I don’t know if I trust her anymore she’s not very helpful. She validates my feelings but I don’t feel like she’s really wanting to help me figure it out.”

Ino looked at her best friend. Ino’s grown up with Sakura ever since they were little, and she’s seen how bad things can get for her best friend. She’s seen Sakura go through some really hard times, and she knows Sakura had found therapy really tough.

“I don’t want to push you Sakura…just let me know when you’re comfortable, if you’ve started to talk to a new therapist or…” Sakura knew what was coming, closed her eyes, and sucked in a breath. “The student welfare office is actually really good.”

Sakura opened her eyes and looked down at the hot coco. “I know...I’ve been wanting to contact them for a while now…”

“I’ll come with you. And the other girls would love to come and support you as well, you know we got your back babe.” Ino’s hands touched Sakura’s on the table, reassuring her. “We just want the best for you.”

Hearing such supportive words was not uncommon, but it didn’t feel normal for Sakura. It was hard to accept the support, the love and belief that Sakura could get better. Her jaw was tight and there was a very uncomfortable feeling sitting in her stomach.

They just want the best for you...you know they do. They’ve always been there for you and...they won’t leave. Come on Sakura you know they won’t. Sakura looked at the girl in front of her. They...want the best for me. And believing that is okay...because..I deserve support.

“I’ll email student welfare...tonight?” Sakura said, each word coming out slowly as she was unsure of this promise. Her breath was stuck in her throat, like she was being choked as she continued to ponder on the thought of her friends supporting her. She knew this was a trauma response. 

“And we’ll be there. Or just me if you want okay?” Ino smiled with concerned eyes. “You deserve support, and you deserve good things.”

A tear ran down Sakura’s cheek. 

She deserved good things.

“Ah, speaking of good things, your ice cream!” 

--

Shit it’s almost 5pm! 

Sakura jogged her way to the student union past the small garden of flowers on campus. 

Student Union, alright. And 10 minutes to spare!

Small hands pushed the door open to reveal at least 20 other students all chit chatting and lounging in chairs. It was still bright outside, but the union was buzzing like it was 3pm in the afternoon. Sakura looked around, hoping to spot someone she’d recognise.

Are all of these volunteers from my year? I don’t even recognise any of these faces. she huffed as she found an empty seat by the edge of a table that seemed unoccupied. Okay Sakura breathe, nothing to be afraid of. Just talk, be happy, it’s fine, you won’t even see these people again after this week.

“Oh hey, sorry but are these seats taken?” a honeyed voice parroted. 

“Ah, no not at all!” Sakura nervously smiled and gestured for the boy and his friends to sit. The boy smiled. He had odd hair, as in, it looked mismatched. brown hair and white highlights? And Sakura thought her pink hair stood out. 

“I’m Itama by the way. And this is Shisui and Itachi.” Sakura blinked at them. She knew those names.

“Oh! You’re Sasuke’s brother aren’t you?” Sakura said, a bit loudly and excitedly. “I’m Sa-” she stopped herself. “I’m a friend of Sasuke’s.” 

Itachi, the tallest one amongst the three and definitely the oldest looking, smiled in amusement.

“OH what! You know Sasuke?” The Itama boy chirped. 

“I think I have seen you around before..” Itachi thought. “No, I’ve definitely seen you around.” his words weren’t hostile, but Itachi was definitely trying to piece it together in his head.

“Are you on the medical degree?” the one with curly hair, Shisui she noted, asked. 

“Yeah, I’m a second year.” She found it quite easy to continue this conversation, though unexpected. It wasn’t making her as anxious as she usually would feel in these scenarios. She’s also quite good at hiding though. 

“Ah, Madara is our uncle, he asked us to help out with this whole schbang of a taster session.” Shisui rolled his eyes. “But Itama-”

“I’m in my third year doing medicine. Nice to meet you, I definitely recognise you with the pink hair in the medicine building.” Itama mused, ignoring Shisui’s pointed look. Itachi just chuckled. 

“Nice to meet you guys. I won't lie, I was a little nervous sitting all alone.” she sighed.

“Awh, well I promise Itachi, Itama and I aren’t nasty-”

“I think I might even recognise you from a night out?”

Sakura choked. 

[all-of-the-imagines-for-eve]

Not Sorry ~ Embry Call (part 2)

A/n: Here we are, a finish as promised. Enjoy!

Word Count: 5500+

MASTERLIST

I was genuinely stunned. "Um... excuse me, what?"

He winced. "That was weird. I just- I promise I'm usually better than this, I'm so sorry. Please, if you'd just give me a chance I swear-"

Before I could even begin to hide the smile that was rising on my face or make sense of the nagging part of my brain that wanted me to say yes, Jake was intervening. He was eyeing Embry up and down, making him uncomfortable and setting me on edge. I couldn't exactly explain why Jacob making Embry nervous irritated me so much, but I knew that there was something I was missing and I didn't like any of it. "Did you imprint on her?" My ex demanded.

Embry shrugged awkwardly. "Imprint?" I asked. Both both looked at me, Jake's expression a little startled as if he'd forgotten I was there... and then as if realizing that he'd forgotten my presence was even more stunned. "What's that?"

"I think you're cute," Embry cut in. He was suddenly so casual, but it was natural and believable. Was he really just that good of a liar or was it the charm and charisma that made it so easy to believe him? "Sorry to cut in, I know you two have history and if I'm cutting in-"

Jake went to say something but I cut him off. "Jacob and I dated over a year and a half ago," I dismissed with ease. Jake's mouth snapped shut abruptly, his eyes a little hurt. I focused on Embry. "He made it pretty clear it was plenty over, and it's been plenty over for quite some time, as I said before. To call it interrupting would be ridiculous. Jacob and I aren't even friends anymore." I looked at Jake finally. "Right, Black?"

Jacob looked angry. Movement caught my eye and I saw his hands shaking at my side. Noticing my head drop, Embry followed my gaze to take the same notice I had. Immediately he shot into action like a bomb was going to go off, choosing to move me back rather than touch Jake and move him. At first I was startled, but he was even more natural and careful about that, slipping his arms around my shoulder and pulling me away from Jacob, walking away and turning my back to the other boy instead of actually grabbing me and moving me. I wondered briefly if Jake had adopted anger issues in the last year and a half. Maybe he was a little too physical nowadays... Whatever it was, Embry's reaction was instinctual and immediate. It wasn't planned or badly meant. I didn't hesitate to follow his lead, closing my door before falling into step next to him. That seemed to ease him, and he got even more relaxed the further we got from Jake. "So now that that's sorted, I think I was pretty forward with my feelings. How about you? Maybe I could take you to dinner? Or lunch? At least get your number?" He wiggled his eyebrows and despite myself, I laughed.

"Maybe you could," I mused, touching my chin as if I was actually thinking about it. His smile let me know he wasn't at all fooled. "It really depends... what are you doing right now?"

He looked back to some other boys, further down the beach in the direction he had come from. I assumed they were his other friends. They were all tall and muscular, but when Embry raised a thumb in the air, the one who stood in the middle of the mass of boys - the biggest and tallest - nodded at him, smiling. It was the boy I thought was Sam. By the way he nodded at Embry, he seemed to be in charge, so that theory tracked.

When he turned back to me, my gaze subconsciously drew to him as well, our eyes meeting and my stomach filling with warmth that slowly spread into the rest of my body, banishing the lack of total warmth in the air today. "I'm free."

Emotions zipped through me, all opposing each other and each pulling me in a different direction. It was overwhelming, shutting down logic and slowing my ability to make sense of anything. So, instead, I simply let my mouth move and what cane out was, "Know any fun things to do around here?"

-

The very first thing I did was drag Quil along. The idea of being alone with Embry made me nervous and uncomfortable. He was tall and strong- much bigger than me - and I didn't know him. Everything I did know about him screamed at me to hightail it. But, I wasn't doing that, so I took other precautions. Plus, any reason to hang out with Quil was a good reason.

We ended up at Quil's, with me on his back as Embry asked me question after question, getting to know me and letting me go off about things I cared about. How annoying the Cullens and Bella were. How boring and stupid school is. How fun fixing things up was...

"You have quite the little business going." He said it with a smile, his eyebrow quirked. His tone was almost a joking one except that his eyes were so light up with admiration that I knew he wasn't mocking as much as he was in awe.

I shrugged, playing it cool. Quil chuckled underneath me- we had fallen back in step without even a falter, as if no time had passed at all. There had never been bad blood between us. I hadn't even been mad about him leaving- we had talked about him wanting to join Sam's gang only because it would mean being back with Embry. They'd never officially gotten together but he did miss his friendship with the other boy, if nothing else. Embry had meant a lot more to Quil than I did. Why would he turn down the chance to be with him again? So now, it was fine and easy and fun and light, just like it used to be.

The easy going vibe between me and Quil carried to Embry, who's eyes never left me.

It was strange. Every time Embry had come to mind before this, a part of me hated him. Hated how he had hurt Quil. And another, bigger part of me thought that if it was possible, I'd want them to get together. I'd want them to be happy and end differently than Jacob and I did. Prove that there were happy endings.

Yet here they were now. The way Embry looked at me was not lowkey, and it was even more obvious that Quil picked up the odd chemistry between us, because he kept smirking and chuckling and shaking his head and giving Embry and I pointed looks- teasing silently, but teasing nonetheless. They had been reunited, back in each other's lives, and they hadn't gotten together? Had I somehow misconstrued the relationship between them? I mean Quil never SAID there was... anything romantic. But I had assumed. I mean Quil had insinuated...

It was even stranger that I was relieved, if I was being honest. The same magnetism that seemed to keep Embry's eyes on me also seemed to pull me closer to him. Made my hands itch to touch him. Made it easier to smile and forget the rest of the world as I lost myself in the sound of his laughter and breathing and how his words formed, his lips moving in a way that was almost mesmerizing. I wanted to know everything about him and I wanted to know it now.

Quil's mom was very happy to see me. Our greeting and reunion cut into the spell that seemed to be on me. "Oh I'm so glad you're back!" she gushed, grinning. As always her energy and warmth were contagious and I felt at ease and happy. When Quil and I hung out before, she had begun to accommodate for having me around all the time. We had sleepovers whenever we could. When she found out what my home life was like, she was only too eager to make this place mine as well. Making home a place I could go to again. "Our table has been empty without you."

I sheepishly rubbed the back of my neck. Quil's house was so different from Bella's- even though it was also quite similar too. It was just Quil and his mom, the same way it was just Charlie and Bella. However, Mrs. Ateara was a lot more homey and motherly and warm than Charlie was. She was compassionate and picked up on everything, asserting herself and fixing problems in a way that awkward, unsure Charlie just wouldn't. It didn't make me miss him any less, though.

"You'll have to come over for dinner more often then," Quil piped up.

My smile fell. I was struggling again. I missed Quil so much. But we weren't friends anymore. This wasn't my home anymore. It hadn't been for a long time. This wasn't my life anymore.

Looking at Embry, I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. What was I doing?!

"Quil can I talk to you? Privately?" The words tumbled out of my mouth a little too fast, making Embry frown and Quil shuffle awkwardly.

"Yeah sure." We moved outside, where they shouldn't have been able to hear us. "What's up?"

"Whats up?" I asked, a little irritated. He shrugged. "What's going on, Quil? Why are we pretending like nothing happened? Why are you pretending like I'm going to be coming over every Friday night like I used to? Why do you guys seem so... tired and worn down?" It was so hard. There was a part of me that was fighting to just go back to the way everything was. That part of me had taken control on the way over here. That part of me had fallen back with Quil far too easily. That part of me yearned for a boy that shouldn't have been on my mind. "What happened between you and Embry?"

Quil sighed. "I know it's really confusing... Let's just take it slow, okay? All you need to know for now is that I'm glad we're hanging out again, if you want to do that. And Embry has taken a liking to you."

"And you and Embry?" I pushed.

He paused, seeming to be struggling to find the words to explain to me. "Embry and I are just friends, and we're both happy with it being that way."

I stared at him for a long time. "Okay," I said slowly. "Okay," I repeated. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Wanna go back inside now?" After a second I nodded and he reopened the door, both of us going back inside.

Embry grinned upon seeing me. "We were thinking about playing a game. Monopoly or Uno?"

"Uno," Quil and I said at the same time." We looked at each other and despite myself, I laughed.

This was weird... but not bad. Maybe weird could be okay for a while.

-

It was odd enough, being thrown head first back into a life that had been abruptly taken from you without a single warning. A life you had just barely come to terms with never having again. A life you desperately missed. Fridays were spent at Quil's again. Tuesdays were at the Swan's. Yeah. As Quil, Embry and I hung out more, I eventually ran into Bella again. She was stoked to see me and had that same habit the others did of pretending nothing had changed. I was too relieved to be hanging out with Charlie to care. Between my own happiness and Charlie's obvious enthusiasm to having me return, that was a button I didn't push.

It was odd enough.

They just HAD to make it worse, didn't they?

First of all, Jake was being super emo and possessive of me which made not a lick of sense. He had broken up with me. He had burnt that bridge. And a while ago too! Why was he getting upset over the way Embry was flirting with me? Also: Why was Embry flirting with me? I'd finally come to terms that in my absence, things with Quil and Embry had kind of fallen apart on the romantic side. It made sense to me- things were the same with me and Jake. Except, how were they both so completely okay with it? Why were things so hard for me and Jake? Why was it so complicated and confusing? What was with the was Sam lead the group of boys like he had some kind of blackmail on them, in the way they couldn't say no? Why did they cut their hair and what was with that tattoo? Why did I see them so often with their shirts off or pieces of clothing tied around their ankles? Were they afraid their pants would blow off in the wind?

Okay so a lot of questions, obviously. Every time I brought it up though, everyone absolutely refused to give me any real answers. They were either really vague or snapped at me, or they were vague until I pushed too far and then they snapped at me. I was getting nowhere. It was like they just wanted me to hang out with Embry and fall in love with him or some shit without being clued in on any level to the shit happening behind the scenes. Shit that, apparently, even Bella was full aware of.

Which made no sense, since it seemed the Cullens and Sam's boys had a weird rivalry, even though as far as I knew they'd never met long enough in person or in any other way to have started beef with each other. With Bella dating Edward, it made no sense for her to be here all the time- even if she was best friends with Jacob.

It seemed the only sane person in this whole group was Leah.

She was broody and sarcastic and sassy and bitter and I absolutely loved her. She wasn't as quick to obey Sam as the other guys, and seem unwanted in the group. There was something awkward about her, Sam, and Sam's girlfriend, Emily. Who apparently was Leah's cousin. There was an even weirder vibe about how the other boys handled it- especially Sam. The worst part everyone kind of rolled their eyes at her and pushed her away, so naturally, I made friends with her as soon as she'd let me.

Let me tell you: she was really stuck on not letting me.

She warmed up to me when I started bitching about howe absolutely idiotic men were.

After that, my Thursdays were spent at the Clearwater's, goofing around with Seth and rolling my eyes with Leah. Seth and I had even gotten a smile out of her a few times. It was exciting. She had a beautiful smile. I wished she could be happy enough to smile all the time.

I found myself slowly but surely getting more and more involved with the boys and all their friends. 

Paul and I developed more of a physical, passive relationship. Most often, we tended to be simply friends of friends, unless one of us was bored. Then there was wrestling and shoving and ruffling of hair and all kinds of stuff. He often won, but by the way Embry hovered and Sam kept him back, easing him actively every second of my interactions with Paul, there seemed to be something dangerous about it. Even when I won, it didn't seem to be a real victory. It made me wonder if Paul was holding back. What was he really capable of?

Jared and I were pretty similar, instead taking a more humorous approach to the brief and far in between interactions. We usually cracked jokes, light heartedly teasing the others and each other. It was usually when everyone else was busy or someone was being coupley and Jared and I happened to do the whole loud, annoying 'awwwwww' thing like we were ten years old. He was fun and I rather enjoyed it, but when he would wink at me, insinuating a dirty joke of some sort, Embry would tense and get all jealous and Jared would look away and the whole mood would be ruined.

Even my hang outs with Quil started to be invaded by Embry whenever he got the chance to. My rant sessions with Leah started to be all about him and how much he was irritating me, and that seemed to amuse Leah while also disappointing her. I wondered a few times if she was telling him what I was saying. Why else did she get that sad look in her eye when I told her I was relieved I had her to talk to- someone I could trust. Someone who wouldn't let it slip to Embry until I was ready to share. When I'd start to push it, she'd bring up Sam and we'd be off ranting again, switching off to give her time to let some things off of her chest. Seth had even started to lay off. Our relationship was quite similar to mine and Paul's except lighter and with far other kinds of interactions. We could goof and joke and often made people laugh. It was innocent and light and fun. Every time Seth got too physical with me though, Embry was immediately next to us, separating us for some reason or another.

Yeah I was getting real close to the boys.

And even closer to decking Embry right in his stupid pretty face.

For a guy who was trying to woe me, he was succeeding only in confusing and irritating me. He set off all my red flags. He kept secrets and was possessive and over protective. He flirted with me and asked me out on dates, but then sometimes flaked because "Sam needs me" but wouldn't go into further detail.

I'd had enough. Despite common sense, I actually did have a small crush on him. By ourselves he was funny and sweet and considerate. His actions above all else made me feel like he was two people in one body. Or that there was something huge going on that they weren't cluing me into.

Which of course meant I had to immediately do some digging.

Since I was getting nothing from my friends, I decided to head straight for the Cullens. One night I knew they would be Bella-free, I made cookies and drove over to deliver them. It was secluded and mostly glass. It made me self conscious. How did they change in those rooms? They must have done a lot of fighting for the bathroom. Or maybe it was just like a "there's no one around". Or they had nothing to be ashamed of. They didn't have to hide their bodies from possibly prying eyes. That wouldn't surprise me. They were the most perfect human beings I'd ever seen in my life, if a little cold and distant from everyone else.

Emmet answered the door. He smiled. "Hey."

"Hi," I greeted brightly. I hoped that they'd be more inclined to let me in and hear me out and give me some answers if I was friendly. If I had a peace offering, even. I held out the cookies. "I just thought I'd drop by. Uh, we live weirdly close to each other for people who have never interacted and I was wondering..." I put on my best faux innocent smile. "If someone here was good at chemistry? I'm struggling."

Emmet actually smiled, seeming amused by my words. I hoped he was buying the act. I'd practiced for so long. "All of us are pretty good at school actually." Of course they were. "Why didn't you ask Bella though? Isn't she also good at chemistry?"

"She's good at biology," I corrected softly, trying to stay on his good side. "They're a little different but just enough. Plus, she's got her own work load and I bug her for help and am over there so often... plus, it might be nice to have some more acquaintances at school, if you guys absolutely refuse to be friends." I rose an eyebrow and Emmett laughed.

He sobered up a little, seeming about ready to tell me no. I sagged. The door opened wider and a small girl slithered around him and in front of him, beaming at me. "Oh my gosh, Y/n!" It was Alice and I had absolutely no idea why she was so excited to see me but like okay I guess. She took the cookies from me, backing up. Emmet moved out of her way, as confused as I was. "Come inside, I have so much to tell you. About everything." 

My eyes widened. Could she... know? That was impossible.

She guided me inside, passed Edward who was sitting at the table with a book he was currently ignoring to confusedly stare between me and Alice, and Dr. Carlisle, who was leaning against the kitchen island as if waiting for me. "Welcome to our home, Y/n. What can we do for you today?" I got the weird feeling that I was at a doctor's office. Or maybe a mental hospital. His smile was so kind it seemed weird. No one had ever smiled at me with such warm softness before. Was that even humanly possible?

Edward shifted positions from the corner of my eyes. A second after, so did Carlisle. Alice switched the hand that was on her hip and Emmet shuffled before shrugging and then going upstairs. Was it just me or did those movements seem super planned? They happened as if timed, each person triggering the other person to fidget. It was odd.

"I'm gonna talk to her for a bit. Catch up. The such. Is that okay?" Her eyes bore into his and I got the sense that she was asking a different question than the one she'd specifically proposed. Is that okay?

Edward sighed and Carlisle paused before finally nodding hesitantly. "If you girls need anything, let me know." Then he very casually walked upstairs. Is that where everyone went when they exited the room? Weren't there other places to go aside from up or out?

Standing, Edward walked over to us, closing his book. His smile was pleasant. "Mind if I join?" Alice looked at me and I shrugged. This was their house, and I might actually be getting answers. If not then having someone else t bounce off of to keep the conversation going for whatever Alice wanted to talk about might be helpful.

"So what did you want to tell me?" I asked Alice.

She smiled. "What do you want to know?" I thought a second before she placed her hand on top of my arm. I gasped softly, tensing slightly. It was ice cold. "Just be blunt. No reason to overthink."

Honestly she was a god send. "What's up with you and Sam's gang?" I hated calling it that but it was better than Sam's Cult, of which most of my friends were apart of. Edward smiled like something amusing had been said. 

Alice tilted her head, thinking. "They're self determined duty is to keep those like us in check. Behaving. We made a promise we would so we're kind of in this truce, but they still don't trust us. It's... tense."

"People like you?" I pressed, eager to soak up every bit of knowledge she'd give me.

Edward's jaw worked. "Normally we wouldn't tell you this. It's sort of illegal." He gave Alice a side eye, giving me the vibe that whatever he was about to say was actually super illegal. What law would prevent him from simply telling me something? Was he about to confess to some crime? He spoke, cutting my thoughts off. "But they're involving you in their lives without telling you the consequences. I played that game with Bella, and Jake tried to as well. It's not fair. You deserve to know."

I rose an eyebrow, leaning away nervously. "Know...?" I prompted.

Alice jumped up. "Come on, I'll show you something." She took me upstairs, to Edward's bedroom. There was a door that opened up into nothing, and it made absolutely no sense to me... until she simply stepped off, plummeting two stories or so.

"ALICE!" I ran to the edge, only to look down to my utter shock and see her on the ground, completely unharmed and even unfazed, smiling up at me. If that made my head spin, next she crouched down, her eyes leveling to the empty spot next to me. I tripped over myself to get backwards, but not before I saw her very clearly jump up to the second story of the house like she was hopping up on a curb, landing lightly and without problem.

"What the... hell?" I whispered, drawing each other out in confusion. I looked at Edward, demanding answer.

He shook his head. "Excuse me." Then  he moved to that same door, crouching like Alice had before launching himself a ridiculous height and difference, before he landed on a tree. Very far up a tree. And then stuck to the bark like some kind of tree frog. As I thought the comparison, I heard him laugh. I was distracted by a hand pressing to my shoulder. It was Alice. She smiled reassuringly. Edward was suddenly next to me again, making me jump as he spoke. "Any questions?"

There wasn't a bed to sit on, as I just noticed, so I put my hands on my hips and just thought.

I'd heard the legends of the Cold Ones of course. I'd heard them all my childhood and even recently from Billy at a few campfires. The ones who never aged. Who's skin was as cold as ice. Like Alice's. Who's strength and speed was inhuman. I looked at Edward but before I could even ask, he pointed. As I looked to see what he had pointed at, there was a slight push of wind against my shoulder and a blur in my peripheral and suddenly my eyes landed on Edward, in the tree again and much further than last time. This time he went a little slower - even though "slow" still wasn't the word for it - coming back, so I could see him a little better as he did so. It was insane.

Alice and Edward were soon joined by the other Cullens and I stepped back, swallowing hard. "So like are you guys going to eat me now?" I tried not to joke but my brain really wasn't processing this on any level so I coped by cracking one anyway.

Esme actually coughed, trying to cover up a laugh. Her smile was that same soft warm, welcoming grin that Carlisle had been wearing before. They seemed so kind and loving it was impossible to ever imagine them sinking far too sharp teeth into the neck of some poor human being. Covered in blood and everything. My eyes landed on Edward, seeing him wearing a knowing smile.

"We... eat animals," Edward told me slowly.

My eyes widened. "Oh." Forget a bed or chair. I sat down right there, on the floor.

"Let's give the human a little room," Rosalie said lazily. I let out a strong breath that made her smile. Everyone shot her a look but I smiled in return, genuinely appreciating that she understood somehow why I had made a joke before. I appreciated her humor. Despite their distaste in her approach, the Cullens did give me a wide birth, though none of them left. That reassured part of me... and in a way made me even more anxious.

I felt odd. Like my mind was suddenly not apart of me anymore. I felt like I had been shoved in a movie or a book. Or that this was a dream. Vampires were REAL? What YA novel was I apart of?

While my body floated in this sort of fantasy world, my brain refused to acknowledge it as MY world. Like I was a character in a tv show, but I knew that I was a character and that this was a tv show. It felt unsettling. Like the world around me wasn't real. Is this how Deadpool lived his life? How did one manage that? How could anyone tolerate this feeling? How could you stay sane in a world you knew was just the scrambling creation of some author who was creating a world and characters to satiate what they found unsatisfying about their own world and themself?

"Y/n." A hand on my shoulder. I looked up and met the almost yellow eyes of Edward Cullen. His lips were pursed. "I'm sorry if this is a little startling." He seemed to struggle for words. "It was a bit much for us too, when we first found out." His lips twitched, almost into a smile. "We had a few centuries to figure it out."

I broke into hysterical laughter. I felt a little insane, my body shaking just slightly. The others were quiet as I calmed from Edward's joke that wasn't that funny. "I'm sorry," I gasped, hiccuping. "I feel a little..."

"I understand," Edward offered when I couldn't explain what I was feeling. "You're disassociating. It's okay, it happens." His smile rose a little more to the surface. "I think I've gotten too used to Bella sort of just... handling these things. It's been a long time since I've had to help someone come to terms with this whole thing like a normal person."

After a second, I took a deep breath and shook my head to clear it. Real. This was real. I was real. "You eat animals?" My brain filled with the books I'd read as a kid, and movies I'd seen much more recently. An image with Edward, teeth sharp and mouth covered in blood. I opened my eyes. Edward wasn't smiling anymore. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

He shook his head, silently forgiving me. "This is honestly reassuring. At least some humans are still sane." He paused. "We call ourselves vegetarians. It's not as filling, but it allows us to not eat, uh, people, so I guess-" He shrugged, flinching at his words.

Chuckling again, shaking my head in wonder, I took yet another breath in. My chest felt tight. It was like I had to remind myself to circulate air through my system. My brain was short circuiting. "Okay," I said finally. "Why- why did you tell me this? You said it was illegal."

Carlisle kneeled in front of me. Edward was looking at him before he even moved. I was just grateful that he didn't super speed it. I might have passed out. "Just like you, we have a sort of government. They have rules, just as you have laws. The consequence for breaking those laws is death."

I was pretty sure I paled. "Why would you risk yourselves like that?" As much as I wasn't familiar with these people, I had gone to school with them for four years. I saw them talk and love and learn. I'd had lunches and classes with them. Emmet had been my partner for geometry and we'd spent the whole class losing our minds laughing. Alice had asked me for directions on her first day here. Even Rosalie had stood up for me once, when a guy had been a little too pushy about taking me to a dance after I'd been the only one left without a date and his date had dipped and he didn't want to seem lame by showing up alone. The thought of them dying to tell me something I didn't need to know... it made me sick.

Edward's expression was soft, and I realized that he could read my mind. I didn't know how I knew, but with all the weird reactions only he seemed to have, as if in response to what I was thinking rather than what I was saying or doing, it was just plainly obvious. I rose an eyebrow and a new expression crossed his face. Perhaps if he was human he would have blushed. As if to change the subject, he met my eye. "Y/n, there's more you need to know. Think you've got room for another information dump?"

I swallowed. The expressions of the Cullens was grim. Regretful. They wouldn't have dragged me into this hell scape if they didn't have to. I appreciated Edward's sentiment, but I was much too used to not having a choice to let it fool me. "Lay it on me."

I would never regret four strung together words more in my life.

"It's about Sam's gang," Alice said gently. My face went slack.

As if to confirm my fears, Edward added, "More specifically, it's about Embry."

....Fuck.

-

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[pop-punklouis]

how do you propose victims of abuse who are deeply triggered by any depiction of abuse are meant to avoid the entire existence of this movie for the rest of our fandom experience? apart from just telling us to leave the fandom and give us a condescending answer about art and growing up since trauma is oh-so childish. honestly. how the fuck do you think we're feeling right now? it costs nothing to not talk shit about us and make us feel worse about something we can't fucking control. and don't you dare call us bad entitled fans. we're just people who feel like shit and are extremely unhappy harry will be portraying a domestic abuser. we're unhappy and will continue to be unhappy. do you have to make us feel worse about it?

i’m not sure where you saw me saying anything that you’re implying i’m saying. i have been very considerate and tagged the asks i’ve answered about this subject with tw abuse. i’ve also cautioned people who feel very uncomfortable or triggered by the content and depiction to be careful with diving into this film because it seems like that type of abuse and misogyny will be prevalent throughout. i don’t know why you’re having an attitude with me about this when i’ve never once degraded those who would be triggered by this portrayal or subject matter. i’m hoping people will tag the film accordingly and many aspects of the film will be blacklisted for those who have the keywords blacklisted. but, there’s really not much else that can be done. you’re right, you won’t be able to escape it when it begins revving up and the film drops, and it would be unrealistic to think you could. it is a very tough situation, but i don’t blame you if you’re unhappy or uneasy about this portrayal. it is acting, and the acting aspect of people wanting to think harry’s character = harry as a person is what i was discussing when talking about the portrayal. not those who are actually triggered and harmed by the abuse in general. i apologize if i made you feel like that’s how i was discussing the film, but none of that was ever targeted towards people who feel strongly about it due to the abuse and misogyny that is a main culprit of the story. it was targeted towards those who were thinking badly of harry or tying him to this character all because he got the role that were not even sure if it is his role yet. the film won’t come out until 2022 at the earliest, as well. so it’s refreshing to know we won’t be dealing with that content soon. again, i’m sorry if anything i said was misconstrued.