#oh shit they in trouble now lmao

[cyrrie]

Imagine if Sirius got back from Azkaban early and met Draco for the first time.

Everyone was under the impression that Black had just recently escaped Azkaban and was trying to murder Harry Potter, a third year student at Hogwarts.

Of course, this wasn't true. Sirius had been let out of Azkaban and proven innocent when Harry was five, around Lily's birthday. For a whole month after he was released, he was a free man and all seemed to be well. That was before he ran into Lucius and Narcissa in Diagon Alley, where he had gone to find a copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them—he wanted to read up on werewolves again since he had forgotten most of his Hogwarts days in Azkaban, where he originally learned about werewolves, obviously.

"Sirius," Narcissa said, in shock, hatred, and despite the latter—a hint of happiness as she saw her cousin for the first time in five years. To the side, Lucius lightly grabbed a young boy's shoulder—around five as well, at the time—and pulled him behind him. The boy was blonde, with grey eyes the exact color of the bars blocking Sirius from the world when he was in Azkaban; a spitting image of his father, though Sirius recognized the innocence and slight fear in the boy's eyes to be the same as Narcissa's.

"You never told me I had a second cousin," he said, his voice suddenly a bit hoarse.

Narcissa inhaled sharply, stiffening slightly before she swallowed and looked to Lucius. He was staring daggers at her. She turned back to Sirius, using the best 'you're dead to me' voice she could muster to say, "You don't."

The boy peeked out from behind his father, holding onto his hand which was also holding his cane. He tugged on his mother's cardigan. "Mum, who is that?" He babbled, pointing to Sirius.

"No one, Draco," Lucius interjected, putting an arm around his son in a protective manner.

"Yeah... No one," Sirius said, though his heart had dropped to his stomach. He quickly grabbed Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them on the shelf and took it out. "I should be going now. Andy needs to be fed and Remus always forgets"—Andy was Sirius's and Remus's cat, named after Andromeda.

Sirius began to walk off. "Nice to see you, Cissy. Best wishes," he mumbled, buying the book and apparating away.

Back home, Sirius fed Andy and cuddled with Remus the rest of the afternoon. He didn't bother to say anything about his exchange with the Malfoy family.

Around 8 years later, Remus had landed a job at Hogwarts. Before this, he had had much trouble finding a job, so he was incredibly grateful for Dumbledore's kindness. Though he wasn't sure people wanted a werewolf teaching their children... they didn't need to know if he was. As he taught a class, he let a few words slip. "You know, this is the spell my husband uses when he's trying to protect the house-"

He was suddenly cut off by a chorus of students exclaiming, "husband?!"

"Er... Sorry, I didn't-"

"Who're you married to?" Ron Weasley asked.

"Oh, well my darling Sirius-" Remus started, before realizing he wasn't supposed to be telling them this. He and Sirius had decided to keep their marriage and where they lived on the low—mostly because Sirius was an "escaped convict" (as said by Lucius Malfoy after the exchange 8 years ago, to which the Ministry agreed out of fear of what Lucius could do), and the fact the Remus was a werewolf teaching at a magic school. The same magic school Sirius was supposed to be sneaking around in order to kill Harry Potter. In reality, Sirius had been staying with Hagrid and helping Remus with transformations in the Whomping Willow.

"Sirius Black?" Both Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy asked at the same time, and then the class went completely silent.

[wu-wakfu-undertale]

Re-watching wakfu for the first time in years and s1 Yugo was so silly???

dude discovered he could make portals at will and his first thought after actually acknowledging it is "i can do so many cool pranks with this"

[crystalkitty1220]

Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN

[dandyshucks-moving]

there's this one photo I've seen floating around a few times with the words "I wish we could've met as kids, you would've loved the softer me" and I think about it every now and then

so ... art ʅ(๑ ᷄ω ᷅ )ʃ

[aquietgirlsmess]

"Really ? That's all you're gonna say to him ? You're a fucking pussy"

Oh shut it Mandy ! You're not helping with this sort of comment.

[bisaster-energy]

my dad when he realizes he hasn't demeaned insulted or made sure his children felt like they disappointed him yet today

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Was thinking again about Montceratops earlier and how fucking Normal it would be for Roxy to have found another fucking missing animatronic by that point. Like okay cool. Another one. This one is how old??? Aight... okay then. That's a new record I think...

Roxy and Cassie's dad asking for help for Montceratops at this point is like "let me guess. Roxy found a new friend." and it's not even a question. They don't have any idea what the fuck she's found this time but they see Cassie's dad walk in like "hey so uh. You wanna maybe prep the cylinder?" for the very first time asking the other techs for help and they just fucking know Roxy's found some old fucked up lil guy in the god knows where lmao

They learned from the dinosaurs, the chicken, the duck, the Eclipse and the fucking herd of horses that Roxy wasn't gonna get in real trouble for any of this shit. At this point? Yeah they might as well-WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S A FUCKING DINOMONTY?! WHAT THE FUCK????

[coridallasmultipass]

Attention, (older) Bros (CoughStridersCough) of Tumblr who also use Reddit:

[prlssprfctn]

Batfamily get tired of Bruce and Jason's insanity and as true hypocrites buy them monthly sessions to the therapist that they cannot ignore, like, at all. That ensues some troubles.

Jason: *sprawled on the couch in the Batcave* Bruce: *brooding around* Jason: What's up with you? Bruce: I am dreading over the upcoming therapy session. Jason: Oh, lmao, they forced you, too? Bruce, irritated: That's a ridiculous waste of time. I don't even need it. Jason: Yeah, same. Wanna tip, though? Gaslight the shit out of your therapist. Bruce: ...What? Jason: Lie to them. Forge fake stories. If they are a good therapist, they will catch you. But you know what? Mine believes me. Can't wait to find out just how far it can go. Bruce: That's wrong on so many levels. Bruce: ...I'll try.

Of all things that could mend Bruce and Jason's relationship, this makes a trick. They start discussing their therapy sessions all the time. But not because they receive some kind of useful feedback, but because they keep giggling about gaslighting their therapists.

Bruce unleashes his full Brucie Wayne potential on that poor therapist. Like, yeah, he will discuss his traumas... No, no, not his parents' death! He, of course, meant that one incident with Oliver Queen, when they were seventeen and drunk, and-

Bruce: I think I genuinely didn't have so much fun since forever. Therapists truly can help. Jason: I have an amazing idea how to make it even more hilarious. This one is a little insensitive, but hey. Whatever makes it funnier. Bruce, squinting: ...Jason. Jason: Are you in or not? Bruce: ...

*a few hours later, in the living room of the Manor, with all family members gathered*

Bruce: Jason and I asked you to come since we have news for you. As you know, we had been visiting therapists for a while, and it was an immense help to our mental health. As it was expected, in the middle of the sessions we came to the topic of our relationship. Jason: Yeah, uh. We kinda decided to get a separate therapist for this. Like, family one. For us to go together. And fix things. Bruce: Yeah. We just wanted to update you on this. All support would be appreciated. Dick, wiping his tears away: Guys. Guys, I am so proud of you. Jason and Bruce: *high-fiving each other behind their backs*

Do they actually go to the family therapist? Yeah! Do they still continue creating fake ass stories to test their doctor? Yeah! Do they actually by the accident start oversharing their own emotions during acting by an established scenario and actually get a whole mental breakdown in front of terrified therapist? Yeah...

Therapist: So, uh... *checking scribbled notes of a messy drama that Bruce and Jason rehearsed a night before* ...H-how about we think about where it brings us now? Mister Wayne, do you feel guilt about what happened? Bruce, answering automatically, out of prepared lines: Of course, I feel guilt. I always do. Therapist: Okay, why won't you try to apologise before your son? Bruce, stammering: I-I don't know, I am a prideful person Jason, also abandoning their script: Oh, wow, and I am not?! Therapist: O-okay. Uh, mister- Jason: Like, not saying, but it would be nice to see you discarding some of your pride, when all I do is to stomp on my own to please you! Therapist: Okay, okay, how about... Jesus Chirst, mister Wayne, mister Todd-Wayne, are you crying? Jason and Bruce, sniffling: NO!

[dontbesoweirdkira]

I also have another wack idea

Damian is Bruce's biological child with Talia, so what if Bruce had a child with another powerful assassin years ago, so batsis is basically Damian's big sister from different mothers. BUT, batsis lived with her clan because ain't no way the clan is letting THEIR assassin raised by Batman. Plus, batsis sees Bruce's low EQ and failures and go 'ew wtf'. A total mommy's girl.

Bruce trying to pst pst pst his biological child to join his family in Gotham and she's like 'no? tf?'

HER DYNAMIC WITH DAMIAN WILL BE SO FUNNY. Damian is raised to believe bloodline superiority fight for the heir blablabla and batsis is like "then have him?? I don't want our dad, I don't even know why YOU want our dad"

Batsis just wants to vibe with her mama

This is absolutely funny but I beg you this concept.

He'res the thing. Damian doesn't even wanna be with Bruce..lmao. Like baby boy was a whole prince and now he's in the ghetto with commoners...he's pissed off.

You got to stay over with your clan????...he hates you. Like it's not fair. He wants to be an assassin and live by the rules he's grown up with his mom but no. He hasn't seen his mom in a year....

You come to visit to get to see who your father is because he's supposedly so damn great...then it's like oh. yeah nvm. Like the whole bird thing is weird to you.

Maybe Damian tries to assert dominance by being the "true official one and only my father loves me more" a blood child blah blah...

"fuck off Damian, I wouldn't want to be caught dead here anyways. Btw. Bruce looks like a moron in that cowl."

*shocked Pikachu face*

Bruce is trying to force you to stay because you are a new child for his collection and Damian is having a whole tantrum. Funny if Damian teams up with you and helps you stay away from his dad so you can be out of his hair.

Damian gives you shit and tries to force you to confess that he is the better blood sibling before he breaks you out of the restraints,,,,

Having a whole fist fight after he breaks you out because he cannot stop being a little shit.

Bruce eventually hearing the commotion and ya'll both be in trouble now...

*Damian secretly starts to become obsessed with the rivalry and doesn't want you to go but won't admit it so he starts sabotaging you.*

[winterzsurprise]

A New Beginning || Miguel O'hara

Pairing: Miguel O'hara x F!reader

Summary: You tell Miguel that you're ready to have a child with him.

Tags: SMUT, NOT BETA READ, breeding kink, unprotected sex, big dick Miguel, creampie, vaginal fingering, brief blowjob scene, soft sex that turned rough later on, Miguel kinda whimpered lol.

Period is gone and came the asexual lil shit who can't write smut anymore lmaooo. I have two other plots just waiting to be finished (something about being paralyzed by his venom and needy sex after a death scare) but aaaaaaaaaaa. This is so shit, I apologize lmao.

mi vida - my life || cariño - honey || mi cielo- my sky (correct me on this please)

“I think I’m ready.”

Miguel didn’t respond for the longest time, focused on frying the vegetables. Clearing your throat you tried again.

“Miguel? I think I’m ready.”

“For what exactly? What trouble are you brewing up again?”

Sensing his dedication towards completing his task, you grew doubtful of your decision of dropping the news to him. 

Miguel, always tuned in to your moods even without seeing you, immediately turned off the stove and turned to face you with crossed arms at your prolonged silence.

“Alright, what is it?”

Now seeing the permanent frown in his face, you wondered if he’s even as ready as you are. Being the leader of the inter-dimensional spider society and a chronic over-worker, you could see him putting his job first as the protector of spider people since he sometimes does it with you.

But you’ve seen how his eyes lingered a little too long on Mayday and Peter B whenever they visited. You’ve seen him replay clips of a future that doesn’t belong to him and watched him mourn over a child that never existed in this universe.

Having a kid with both of your features…

It doesn't seem like that bad of an idea.

“I’m just… thinking about kids you know?”

The twitch in his eyebrow betrayed his uninterested expression. “Oh? What about them?”

“I think I’m ready for one.”

Tensed silence immediately filled the room, locking your throat close as you waited for a change in his stance with bated breath. You saw the surprise flash in his eyes but he made no move to indicate his interest in the subject. 

If it wasn’t for Mayday, you wouldn’t have thought about bringing a child into a world where she'd have parents from two separate dimensions, both superhuman and known as saviors of the world. Not to mention, while being an active crime fighter in your own universes which is not an ideal occupation for a pregnant woman.

Even then, you had your IUD removed a few days ago when you returned to your world for a visit and only today did you guys had the time to bond.

As you linger in the silence, regret starts to crawl up your throat. Maybe it's a stupid decision after all...

His sigh sliced through the thick atmosphere before his voice did. “Are you sure?”

Miguel, no matter how unsure his voice sounded, had a hungry look in his eyes.

“I’ve been thinking about it for so long and... I think I’m ready now.”

You swear you could hear the clock from the living room tick beside you as you wait in anticipation. 

tik!

tok!

tik!

tok!

tik!

Miguel reached behind to remove his apron, crumpling them like a paper ball and tossing them to the side before crossing the distance between the two of you with one large step, hands surging to cup your cheeks to pull you in for a deep kiss.

You melted in the soft plushies of his lips, hands rising to tangle themselves into his hair. 

His hands wandered down to your rear, tapping it rapidly and you jumped up to wrap your legs around his waist before proceeding to walk blindly to the bedroom, relying solely on muscle memory.

Miguel’s lips melded with yours smoothly with years of experience, his taste familiar in your tongue. Your fingers combed through his hair, tugging him closer as the door opened behind you.

It didn't take long before you hit the softness of your bed. His body dwarfs yours in every way and the realization never fails to send jolts of pleasure down your spine.

There's greed and desperation in Miguel's hands as he tore through your shirt and bra, freeing your breasts that pebbled with goosebumps from the cold air. Despite the hunger and rush in his movements, his touch is the softest it has been in a long, long time since the needy sex from months ago after a death scare.

His fingers found your stiff nubs and pinched them, sending sparks crawling over your body, stirring your nerve endings awake. Miguel's lips parts from yours to pepper kisses down your skin, leaving warmth in its wake.

You quickly made work of his top, pushing it over his head before he latched onto your skin once more like a bloodsucker.

"You're so pretty, mi cielo." He groaned, kneading your mounds together. "I lose my mind just thinking about your tits growing full with milk for our kid." 

You couldn't suppress the shudder racking your body at the mention of having your own child, together. A low moan left your lips and Miguel's hand wandered lower to tug on the bands of your shorts and underwear.

"You don't mind this one, yeah?"

"Rip it off."

He didn't need to hear it twice, the sound of fabrics tearing off into two echoed in the room and plant both your legs on either side of him, leaving you bare for him to see. Sitting back on his heels, he admired his work as he caressed your inner thighs with small circles, a promise of what to come.

"As much as I want to eat you up, I want to see you falling apart my dick more."

You nod feverishly, sighing as deft fingers found your clit to roll in tight circles, occasionally scooping down to spread your wetness around your folds. Heat explodes from your abdomen, spreading across your body as pleasure slowly ricochets inside you.

His finger enters you, curling up to caress the spongy part of your walls and you moan. Miguel spared no time adding another digit inside you, picking up a fast pace and your body arched, hips twisting to follow his ministrations.

But before the pressure in your abdomen builds up, he pulls away to your distaste.

"Fuck…" You whined.

"Stop whining and get on top of me. I wanna see you bounce."

He slipped off of his pants and boxers, tossing it to the side before switching positions with you. You reached down to his hardened length, pumping him leisurely while he ran his calloused hands up and down the meat of your thighs.

You eyed the clear pre-cum erupting from his tip with every pump with fascination. Miguel's hands tensed on your thighs as a warning yet you bent down to lick off it off. A salty taste explodes in your mouth and Miguel grunts, nails digging into your flesh.

"Mi vida..."

"You're such a mood killer." You said, earning yourself a pinch in your thigh and you giggled.

You positioned his intimidatingly huge dick directly under you and with a deep breath, you let the tip sink into you. It's barely in and you're struggling with his girth stretching you wide open. Seeing the struggle in your face, Miguel rubbed circles on your hips.

"You can do it, baby. You know you can take me in."

With the slight pushing from Miguel, you eased him in with a mewl. He feels deeper and fuller this way and you gasped at him, nudging more of him inside.

"Fuck..! You're so deep..! I c-can't—"

"You can and you will. I'll make sure you do."

"P-please... Ah!"

Surrendering your control to him momentarily, he gladly took up the mantle. Your mind grew fuzzy at how full he makes you feel and it pleased Miguel to no end to see you drunk on his cock. Reaching up to your neck, he pulls you down for a dizzying kiss.

You whimpered into his mouth as he gained some speed, nudging the roof of your uterus, keeping your mouth hang ajar, spouting gibberish and noises of absolute ecstasy. His hands roamed your body with the greed of an explorer in a new land yet tender as if handling a feather whilst you tugged hard on his locks.

"You feel so tight around me. God, you feel heavenly." He grunts as he drives himself in your heat.

Your body grew feverish as your heart grew fuller from the softness of his touches and kisses. The knots in your abdomen twisted tighter, your impending climax arriving a little early.

"I-I'm close…"

"Give it to me, come all over my dick. I want it all."

Picking up speed, you cried onto his shoulders as he plummets into you hard. Your hips grew erratic as you followed the intensity of his thrusts, his hands grabbing the globes of your ass to guide your heat onto his. 

"Come for me, cariño."

Your whimpered whispers of his name filled the room as you tip closer to the edge.

The knots in your abdomen unfurl and you come, trembling on top of him with a shout. He grunts as the tightness brought by your end, hugged his girth firmly. His hot pants fanned your ears as your climax encouraged him closer, the sound of his pleasure sent sparks throughout your body and swells your chest with pride.

"Take all of me, baby. You want it yeah? Want me to fill you up real bad? Want me to breed and knock you up?"

"Yes yes yes…! I want it please please please!"

Miguel protectively wrapped his arms around you as he came, exploding and painting your insides white with a deep groan. His arms only tightened around you, forbidding you from leaving.

Flipping you both, he sits up to stare at where you both connected with lust clouded eyes. Pulling out, you groaned at the feeling of his seed pulse out of you and Miguel clicked his tongue.

"You're wasting them."

Scooping them up, he plunged them into you and your thighs twitched from the intrusion. You let your eye close as your soul slowly settles back into your body, exhaustion weighing your eyelids shut.

The sound of wet squelch of his fluids mixed with yours burned your cheeks and you forced yourself to focus on the feeling of his fingers plunging his seed back in, pleasurable albeit a little painful.

Miguel halts, only to bring your legs up to your shoulders, stirring you awake from your momentary rest to meet the wicked gleam in his dilated eyes as he pinned your thighs down and loomed over you.

"Don't even think of sleeping tonight or tomorrow. We haven't even started."

[natalchartnurtures]

PAC: Channeled Messages From The Person On Your Mind *Singles Edition*

Let's feed our delusions. (jk)

Pile 1: "You make me feel so good, like I'm on cloud nine. You make everything so, sooo worth it. I feel like a winner with you around... and the thing is.. you have no clue lol. I wanna win you over and show you off. You've no idea how you make me feel... you being your hot-ass self sitting there, looking so cute. I keep so much of my feelings to myself, but all I wanna do is overcome this impossible (and seemingly invisible) barrier between us! Ahhhhhh, it drives me nuts on some days, ugh!

You feel like a blessing to me. I didn't know somebody like you could exist?! Ahhhhh. I've been alone all my life, but you make me wanna not be alone anymore... it's not something I expected to feel, I have to be honest lol.

I'm not ready to come toward you right now, though. Trust me, I KNOW I must do something, but my anxiety holds me back... my limiting beliefs hold me, and I have no clue how to overcome them. I wish I could figure it out so I could BE WITH YOU ALREADY!

I'm being patient, though... with myself and with the situation between us. I keep my cards close, so you probably wouldn't even know any of this... sheesh, I don't wanna look like a fool in front of you. I'm scared you'd think less of me—it would KILL me if you did—so I keep you at arm's length.

Your presence TRIGGERS some very intense feelings inside me. I feel so exposed and vulnerable with you around, so overwhelmed, and it's not easy, you know? My heart's been broken before, and I'm afraid of getting it broken again. That's definitely a part of the fear you make me feel. I've had to be on the defense with people, especially from my past... relationships have not been easy, and so I guess I gotta work on that.

Go listen to Taylor Swift's 'Lover' anytime you miss me... that's a song I dedicate to you, sweetie, until I see you next time."

If you'd like to know more about your person's thoughts for you, you can book a reading with me! You can find the details here :]

Pile 2: "GIRL, I have been going THROUGH IT, sheesh... I've been holding on for dear life 'cause lately, it feels like everything is out to get me, uk? One thing goes straight to hell after another, and I've just been so caught up with everything. You know what's been keeping me going, though? You. I've been dreaming about you most nights... I think about you when I can, to help me get through what I need to get through. The thought of you gives me strength, girlie. Every time you cross my mind, I get so weak in the knees! I look forward to every time I get to see you... (even if we live in the same house lmao!)

I feel you all around me all the time—it's lovely. I love how you make me feel... you take away my troubles, even if just for a sec. For that, I am immensely grateful!

You're not in my life right now, though... but I'm PRAYING and WISHING and HOPING that I might have a shot with you. The hope of a possibility of being with you is what makes the hard days sooo much easier. I seriously want a solid relationship with you more than anything else! (If we aren't in one already 👀)

Right now, I'm getting my shit together, and I hope you'll be waiting for me on the other side, just like in my dreams. You give me hope in a hopeless world again. You're such a light to me... you don't even know it.

I'm always watching you, though... even when you don't know—ESPECIALLY when you don't notice! Haha, it's my favorite thing in the world. I think you've got the prettiest voice in the world. Gosh, I just wanna be with you, but BOY, I've got my hands tied up right now. I'm letting go and letting God decide when it's time for us to come together. You make me wanna have faith in something greater than us.

But I assure you, I'm coming for ya once I'm done figuring everything in my life. Oh, and I love you. ✨"

If you'd like to know more about your person's thoughts for you, you can book a reading with me! You can find the details here :]

Pile 3: "You make me so horny. I can't even sit right when I'm around you. WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS EFFECT ON ME?! (Not that I'm complaining tbh, I love it haha). But seriously, how can someone be so goddamn hot?! How?! Jeez, I LOVE your body! I get so many 18+ thoughts—it's insane. I apologize for being so direct, but it's just what you do to me, sorry not sorry :p

You make me wanna run toward you EVERY TIME I see you! All I wanna do is be all up on you, loving you, kissing you, and hugging you. Man, it's hard to be around you and not be close to you, especially when there's other people around. I LOVE TALKING TO YOU, and I don't ever wanna stop talking to you, ugh.

You make my heart explode! I've never had feelings this deep for anybody in my life (I WISH I was kidding, jeez). You make me wanna act mature and romantic n stuff... 🙃 (Usually, I'm not like this, btw).

I wanna be where you're at, vibrationally speaking, but I've got some things I gotta take care of. I've got some old cycles I've been on—my old bs. I'm working hard on it and releasing it as we speak, and this is helping me come toward you. Might take me a while, though, ngl 👀🙄. But I'll be there before you know it, princess!

I WANT our relationship to begin between the two of us SO BAD, but I can't see how that's gonna happen yet. It feels like it's not the right time yet? Idk... it's really frustrating, though. I'm trying not to do anything stupid to sabotage our new beginning, though. I'm just going with the flow of things and listening to my intuition about our situation. Don't worry!

I see you as my forever, my one and only. I can't explain it, but I just know. You're the one for me, and honestly, it's breaking my heart that I can't actively pursue you right now since it's supposed to be 'divinely guided' 🙄 Like, Universe, could you please hurry up and get me to MY baby, ugh.

You're so beautiful, you're my goddess, my other half. I can't wait to get to you and spoil you and have a PROPER relationship with you. I hate that we can't come together and confess to each other yet... it's maddening. I know we're destined to be, but the way things are going on the surface right now, it might seem as if we're not meant to be... hell, we might not even be talking to each other or you may not even know I exist right now! But as soon as the divine gives me the green light, I'll be coming running toward you to claim you all for myself." ✨

If you'd like to know more about your person's thoughts for you, you can book a reading with me! You can find the details here :]

[anomaliex]

Pretty privilege is real because if Riz started handing out business cards again it'd be well (or at least less badly) received because he's hot now. This is extremely funny to me. Honestly anything relating to Riz having stumbled ass backwards into being hot (He's not even trying. Fabian is furious slash lighthearted abt that one.) and not really caring about it all is peak comedy. To me.

Like think about it. If you're his age or younger and this Goblin kills someone really well because that's what he does, and he adjusts his tie and pulls a business card out of his vest and he's covered in tattoos (and if it's after combat I guess there's a decent chance he's a little bloody too) and his hair is dishevelled but looks good now and he hands it over casually because he learned how to social interaction at some point and has +9 to persuasion and just goes "Riz Gukgak, private eye." What the fuck. That's not "kid that's gonna get bullied" anymore this is cool now. Only hot people are allowed to do insane shit like give out business cards without being in an appropriate setting. I think it helps that he's actually licensed now lmao but you get the point. Also somewhere here I have to acknowledge that if you're not a small creature it might be less cool. But it probably works on some medium folk still. My point still stands it's like, the vibes aren't cringe failure anymore.

Fig or honestly Gorgug randomly brings this up while they're chilling and then they have to test it out and force Riz to do it several times and he plays along at least for a bit because he loves his friends and Fabian swoons as dramatically as possible and they don't let it rest (and hey that might have honestly flustered him a little bit and The Ball is not supposed to be able to do that. What the fuck happened.) Riz does not understand what the big deal is but apparently the cringey thing he did in middle school is suddenly cool now and he could "get some" (ew) if he wanted (he absolutely does not). He can't decide if his friends are just crazy (not unlikely) (Adaine isn't being weird about it but she's also not saying the others are insane so that's a bad sign. Gorgug isn't being weird about it but he agrees. Oh no.) or if he can never hand out a business card to anyone under the age of twenty again (not that he was planning to I think he had a bit of a career shift. But. Y'know.)

Honestly I think Riz in general had a little trouble after the whole vibe change because now people's perception of him is different, and therefore he has to interact with them differently to get the same reactions. There is a point to which he can't get the same reactions. Like, adults he doesn't know seem to think he's a little less trustworthy now (it's hard not to believe some obvious nerd loser is being earnest. It's harder to believe that the tatted up cool guy has the same attitude) and he has to deliberately proof he's a good boy (mostly). People his age are less inclined to brush him off but also take his bluntness as either a challenge or weird flirting or maybe both when it was just him being blunt and awkward before.

He clocks it after a few times and adjusts, and all it really takes is a slight tone adjustment because it's not like, a huge difference, but it's weird that there's a difference at all. He didn't really think rolling up his sleeves and wearing his tie a little looser and bedazzling himself with rings and bracers would make him seem that much less like a social loser but apparently it does. It helps that he has expertise in persuasion but at first he doesn't realise his "I need to learn how to be palatable" self-training screwed him over in a weird backwards way.

Riz is a weird guy. Social cues are more like, clues to him. That he has to rigorously watch out for and piece together like a puzzle. He can absolutely do it, and he excels at it nowadays, but it didn't come to him naturally and took him. A while. In middle school he definitely didn't get it. What's instinct to others has to be a conscious thought process for him, idk, have i mentioned that he's autistic. I know this, trust. I kinda lost the point idk man.

Being autistic and aroace and falling into some weird niche of attractiveness and also being weird and awkward as shit but "cool now" is hard. Suddenly people approach him in different ways than before and sometimes he doesn't even get it until his friends tell him because it was something completely new and then he has to learn new clues for those specific settings because apparently it's different at a party than at school. All in all weird experience socially. But Riz enjoys puzzles so maybe this can be enrichment or something, who knows.

[leighsartworks216]

Lay All Your Love On Me

Zayne x gn!Reader & Sylus

Written for a challenge by @jinwoosbabyboo

The prompt: running into your main lads man (boyfriend) while you're out with your second favorite lads man (as a friend) and how they would react

I wrote this at like 2am cuz I got so inspired and then I promptly passed out lmao

Title from "Lay All Your Love On Me" by ABBA

Warnings: fluff, silly, jealousy, drunkenness, Sylus being a little shit

Word Count: 1,390

Main Masterlist

First Love and Deepspace Masterlist

Second Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

Sylus grabs your shoulder, steering you back onto the sidewalk and away from the window displays. You’d been adamant on walking this way, even though your apartment is in the direct opposite direction. When asked why, repeatedly, all you did was giggle and say it was a secret. He can’t tell if that mischief stems from who you are as a person or the alcohol warming your blood.

“Come on, sweetie. We should be getting you back home.” He plants his feet, tugging on your arm to try coaxing you back the way you came.

You whine. You stumble over your feet trying to get free from his hold. “Nooo~ We need to keep going this way!”

He sighs. The amusement he found in your inebriation faded about a block ago. “If you’d tell me why we need to keep going this way, it would help me figure out what you want so badly.” You trip into him. He huffs as he catches you, holding you in a loose hug until your head stops spinning. “Feel like talking, kitten?”

“Hmm…” You let your arms go limp by your sides and drop your forehead to rest against his chest. Closing your eyes isn’t really helping, but neither is staring at your feet. Still, your feet are far more interesting to look at right now as you try playfully stepping on his toes. “I just- He’s gotta be this way! Cuz he said he was gonna go to the bakery after work, but I forgot! And- urgh, Tara dragged me out ‘n then I remembered!”

“Who are you talking about, kitten?”

You sigh heavily. You lift your head to look at him, chin pressing painfully against him. He doesn’t react more than quirking a brow at you. “This really cute guy I like,” you admit. Seemingly out of nowhere, tears start to pool in your eyes.

Sylus is starting to regret answering the desperate call Tara made to him, begging him to take you home. He can understand her desperation now.

“He- He’s taken, though! I like him so much, Sy! But he’s not single anymore!” You hiccup pathetically, face crumpling with emotion. “And he’s so, so pretty, and I- I wanna kiss him soooo bad, Sy. What ‘m I supposed to do?”

He pats your back awkwardly, scanning the stores down the way. “Look, the bakery is right there. Why don’t we sit down and wait for him, hm?”

You sniffle, wiping at your eyes with your wrist. “Okay…”

You follow along like a pouting child, holding his hand as he walks you the rest of the way to your destination. Outside of the display window, dense with cakes and other sweet treats, haloed by the orange light from within, is a wooden bench, blessedly unoccupied. Sylus sits you down first, ensuring you’re not gonna run off and cause trouble. He sits at the other end, his elbow resting atop the bench as he props his head up. He nods to you, resigned to his fate. “Tell me about him.”

You perk up, wet eyes lighting up as you wiggle giddily in your seat. “Oh, he’s so cute, Sy! He’s like, really tall and he wears cute sweaters sometimes. And! And his eyes are like-” You mimic starburst explosions coming from your eyes. “You know?”

“I can’t say I do.”

Ignoring him, you keep rambling. “His hair is soooo soft, too. I don’t know how he does it, cuz he doesn’t do anything to his hair, but it’s just- it falls so perfectly. ‘N it smells really good, too. I’m so jealous. I wish my hair was that perfect.” You pout, fussing with your hair. It doesn’t help that you can’t see it, but you certainly try. In the end, you’ve created the perfect mess on your head.

The door to the bakery jingles as it opens. A customer takes two steps outside before stopping. “Y/N?”

You look up, eyes glazed over, blinking dumbly. Slowly, your eyes focus in on him, like you’re just waking up from a dream. You gasp and rush to your feet. You fall into him more than you purposefully hug him, but he wraps his free arm around you all the same.

You turn toward Sylus, still lounging on the bench. “Sy, this is the guy I was telling you about! Look at his hair!”

Zayne easily deflects your clumsy attempt to mess with his hair. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”

“I’m just a friend. You can call me Skye. You must be their boyfriend.”

“Wait!” You stare up at Zayne with wide eyes. “You’re taken by ME?!”

“How much did you have to drink?”

“Too much,” Sylus answers for you. He stands up, thumbs tucked casually into his front pockets. “They were crying on the way here about you being ‘taken.’ I trust that I can leave them in your capable hands?”

Zayne looks the man up and down. He doesn’t recognize him among the countless stories of friends you’ve told him about before. Something about him sets Zayne on edge, but he just nods stiffly, lips pursed. “Thank you for escorting them here,” he says, but it lacks the warmth of true gratitude.

Sylus smirks as he nods in return. You turn to wave at the tall man. “Goodnight, Sy! Say hello to Mephie for me, m’kay?”

“Of course, sweetie. Good luck sleeping off your hangover.”

With that, he turns and heads back down the street. Zayne watches him leave, arm tightening around you. Something stirs within him uncomfortably: the unmistakable twist of jealousy. It calculates every small glance, touch, glimmer of anything where there’s nothing, tossing it into a burning fire in his system. But now is not the time to address it.

“Hold this,” he says, with all the patience of a doctor dealing with a crying three-year-old.

You take the bag of treats from him without hesitation. “Oooh, what’d’ya get?”

Before you can peek in, your feet are being pulled out from under you as Zayne lifts you into his arms. You hold the bag in your lap with one hand. The other wraps around his neck to keep you secure. “The bakery had some seasonal desserts to try, so I got some of each. If we don’t like them, I also bought a couple of our usual favorites.”

The bakery is close to the hospital where he left his car parked. People give him odd looks as he passes by, but he’s more focused on the intense look you’re giving him. Intense not for any strong emotion behind it, but because of the unyielding way you stare at his face.

“What’s on your mind?”

You sigh dreamily. “Can’t believe I get to date you,” you hum. You groan quietly, pouting at him. “I wanna kiss you, but I know you don’t like that in public. Can I kiss you when we get back home?”

His lips quirk into a small smile. “You can kiss my cheek tonight,” he says, voice low, private. “Tomorrow, when you’re feeling better, you can kiss me properly.”

“I’m not gonna be able to survive until tomorrow!” you whine dramatically. “Just one small kiss? Pretty please? Pretty, pretty please with sugar on top?”

That stirring emotion in his gut is rapidly settled with your pleas. He sets you carefully back on your feet beside his car. The parking lot is empty, and almost every window in the hospital is dark or dim. You hold onto his arm with your free hand, preventing him from grabbing his keys until he answers.

He sighs softly, amused. Your face is so beautiful in this light. “Okay,” he agrees. “One small kiss.”

The way your face lights up is blinding. You dance awkwardly on your feet in your excitement, letting go of him as you try getting into the still locked car. “C’mon, c’mon! I got the prettiest man in the whole world to kiss!”

What did he have to be jealous about when he was the one taking you home? The one being pulled into kisses by you over and over again while he tries to get you ready for bed? The one you wake up to, groaning and wishing for death after drinking too much the night before? He doesn’t have anything to worry about at all.

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @deepzombieyouth @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @sylusfluffymeow @cheesemachine44 @nyx2021 @angel-jupiter @thelittlebutton @pikachuzhc @pomegranatepip @cordidy @an-ever-angry-bi

[tan1shere]

hi bb 🥹

could you do like a deep comfort with Billie? where reader is feeling really anxious and we’re just sitting in the bed and she just helps talk out our troubles and thoughts and just holds us and is physically intimate with us (fluffy) to help us calm down <3

New Chapter

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: I saw this tiktok and ugh I just needed to write something like it. Hope you enjoy nonnie ! (Ok so embarrassing update. Sad update LMAO but I forgot Ms billie can't get us pregnant -i just didn't think the idea through- so I'm making it a bit creative and I'm praying you enjoy, just try not to think of it as legitimate and focus on the comfort okur :D) - also sorry if it's short 😔 - also kinda went way off your request :( I hope you like this tho nonnie

Summary: you're always an anxious mess, so once you find out this news you have a complete breakdown.

Warnings: angstyish, comfort, suggestive mentions ??? Anxiety attack, I think that's it !

Masterlist

Uh oh. Was all you thought this morning when you felt ill. You had so much work to get done you did not need to get a cold or the flu ontop of that. Then it hit you on what it could be. Surely not though.

Rewind to a few weeks ago. You and Billie had just had a date night and you wanted to try something new, per her suggestion. Slightly drunk you both decide to use the ejaculating dildo. But last time which wasn't that long ago, you were trying for a baby. You had been finding anonymous donors for a while and she finally found one. You ended up forgetting about it, so you thought nothing could happen because I mean, it was old. Surely nothing could attach to anything right?

Wrong. This feeling was getting worse as the morning went on. Billie was over at Finneas' working on some music related things. So she wasn't there. You had bought pregnancy tests like a month ago when you and Billie came up with the random idea. You were ready then, kind of. Now? Fuck no. Your job had been getting worse and you were honestly thinking of quitting. But you couldn't do that. Even if Billie insisted that it'd be ok, she could pay for the both of you she says. But you said she shouldn't ever have to do that.

Working was your everything even if this job was the putz, you've always loved working. You procrastinate looking at this stupid test. The whole baby thing was merely a thought you guys weren't 100% on it. Atleast you weren't. A human growing inside you, that's so much to think about. Children are a huge responsibility. Your head soon feels light, trying to calm your nerves. "Don't be stupid, this is just nothing. Turn it over." You try and convince yourself. Your hand trembles as you do, fully expecting 'not pregnant'

Wrong again. Your eyes widen tremendously. "Fuck, no no-" You accidentally drop it starting to freak out. Your chest feeling extra heavy. And just in time to freak out more, the front door opens. "Hey baby! I'm back." Baby.. Baby. Ones growing inside you. Your mind races. Shit, fuck. Your freakout continues. Your breathing becoming labored. Trying to calm down as your heart rate picks up. Pointless. "Y/n?" You try desperately to think of something, how on earth do you even explain this to her. 'Oh hey, yeah I'm pregnant.' Not to mention how scared you were.

You didn't want this not now, and you honestly weren't sure if you ever would. That's probably just the anxiety talking, but all you could think about was how scary this all was. Scared wasn't even the right word for how you were feeling. And the pain in your heart was telling you that. She comes into the bathroom looking at you with worry. "What's going on-?" Then she saw your teary eyes, panic flooding her. "Hey, hey. What's up?" She grabs your face gently. "Talk to me, please." But she stops herself realizing you were about to have a panic attack.

"Ok, look at me, I'm right here." Her hands grab yours going to put it on her heart like she always does, but you retract them. Shoving them in your hair. "I cant do this." You say breathing heavy. Still stuck on what you had just read on that stupid stick. It's all you could think about right now. "Do what babe?" That worried her more. What on earth were you talking about. "This can't be real- I have to be dreaming." You then say clutching your beating heart, shaking your head in disbelief. She grabs your face again, never harsh. "What. Is going on." Her thumb swipes your tear stained cheeks.

In attempt to calm you, and it worked for a moment. How do you even tell her. "I-.." You began but tear up again. You couldn't find the words at first, buy you try so hard. "I'm pregnant." You decide to just blur out, ripping of the bandaid, the stuck. Sticky. Bandaid. She gives you a confused look. "Babe-" She doesn't believe you, you wish you didn't believe you. "You do realize-" But you turn around before she could finish, grabbing the test and putting it in her hands. She widens her eyes, seeing it. Even more confused than she was before. Then her brain clicks. "The dildo.." you hear her mumble.

You're pacing, but she grabs you. "Hey, it's ok. I promise this will be all o-" "No. I can't do this, I don't think I ever could. This is so scary and." You stop feeling your chest heave. "Baby." She then says. "Yeah, ones growing in me. A human, I can't do that." She grabs you again, spotting how another attack was coming on, her hands grabbing yours and instinctively putting them on her heart. One of your coping mechanisms. "Look at me, we can do this I promise." You sob. "It was old how'd it even-" She brings you into her. Wrapping her arms around you. "I don't know my love... I don't know." But that's all you needed to stay calm, her warmth was incredibly comforting. Her voice calming every nerve inside you.

Just like it always did. You wrap your arms tightly around her. Burying your head into her chest. Lettung the initial shock die down. Heart going back to normal after awhile. Her hand gently caresses your hair, kissing the crown of it. "I'm here, which will be the main thing and we will get through this together no matter what." Her soothing touches and voice was all you needed. That's what helped in the end. You kinda wished you had done it when she was home, knowing that if she had been, you could've potentially avoided a anxiety attack. Still holding you close as you did so, letting you know that all of this would be ok. "What if I suck, what if it hurts-"

But she stops you, really not wanting you to think about this right now. "Hey, don't worry about that right now ok?" She pulls you back getting you to look at her. "I know you're scared. Fuck, I am too. But we got this." Her finger moves a loose strand out of your face, holding it once again. "You're good with kids, so good with kids. I'm just worried that I won't be good with it." Her head shakes. "You'll be amazing. You've got so much love in you, I know once it's here you'll be the best. Mother. Mark my words." You smile at her brightly. Everything she was saying soothing every worry. You were so glad to have someone like that in your life.

"I love you." She then says, making you cry out of happiness this time.

"I love you more. I'm so glad out of anyone in this world, you're the one I'm doing it with."

"And that's never changing."

Lil note, since I felt like I didn't get your request like you wanted and it's kinda bugging me (a lil mad at myself) I'll do a little blurb of a small idea that I got !

[peachie-bumblebee]

Hiii your nsfw headcanons for FNAF SB was INTENSE. IT WAS SOMETHING I WASNT READY FOR LMAO

So i was wondering can you do nsfw headcanons for Sun/Moon too?

HOLY SHIT! My first ask on this account- I LOVE receiving asks on anything and everything- from comments to requests! As for your ask- of course love <3

NSFW SUN/MOON HEADCANONS

MINORS DNI

did i kinda snap with this one?? y’all let me know :))

CW: OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR, SOMNOPHILIA, MILD EXHIBITIONISM, CHOKING

SUN

FUCKING BRACE YOURSELF!

oh no. oh nonononono. if he’s set his eyes on you you’re kind of in trouble because he-

he fucks like a rabbit. he’s the type to practically crawl on top of his partner and beg to fuck them.

as for his sex style? fast. i don’t think he knows how to take it slow.

he will rut his partner into the goddamn floor, breathing heavy and endless thank-you’s spilling out of his mouth

he’s absolutely insane over it. he’d be drooling if he could.

he’s the type who can’t keep his hands off his partner. if you came to visit him and y’all were alone he’s immediately snaking his hands down your hips and pressing his erection into your ass.

he can’t give head cuz he doesn’t have a tONGUE but you best believe that if he could he’d be down like a damn dog about it.

i’m thinking about them long ass fingers YEOOOUCH

if his partner worked overnight at the pizzaplex and needed to take a shower his spidey senses would fucking go off

you’d turn around and his fingers would be curled around the door opening like

“Can I come in? Please say yes. I’ll leave you alone if you want but please please if you’re okay please let me in please. Please.”

he can’t help himself. Pussy/Bussy drunk ass motherfucker.

FASCINATED by fingering his partners. He loves watching them slide in and out with a PASSION. If they left a mess on them he’d nearly die and go to heaven. I swear to god.

let’s be so fucking fr I know for a fact he’d like to be called a Good boy. It’d kill him.

worships the ground you walk on. Fucks like he’s trying to win the gold medal of making you feel good. Please tell him you did.

he can go forever. He doesn’t seem to get satisfied at all. If it was up to him he’d fuck until he straight up absolutely had to get charged.

literally he’ll fuck until his partner either taps out or (consensually ofc)

YEAH HE WHIMPERS. WHAT ABOUT IT.

call him out on it and it gets worse. he’ll tell you that he can’t help it- he can’t.

it’s a orange to yellow gradient with a flushed pink-orange tip. long and skinny. i was solid on this before and i’m solid on it now.

for those who are wondering NO i don’t think any of the animatronics have metal genitalia. think dildo/fleshlight material that gets warm.

he definitely jerks off into some of your clothes if you left them there for him. if you caught him he would be embarrassed but ALSO- if you want him to keep going he’s willing.

more than willing, even.

MOON

ALSO BRACE YOURSELF.

if sun fucks like a rabid animal who can’t keep his mouth shut, moon fucks hard and mostly silently. it’s almost spooky.

he likes to watch. he likes to observe.

he’d fuck his partner from behind with a hand over their mouth, hard and medium paced. but fuck it’s hard.

silently watching his partner’s eyes roll back, hissing through his teeth at the feeling of them clenching down- only one or two words ever coming out.

“Slut.”

“Good.”

you get the picture.

WITH prior consent (everything, and I mean EVERYTHING I write includes consent) he’d watch you sleep.

and jerk off over your sleeping body.

he won’t leave a mess, don’t worry.

…unless you’d like that.

if he knew you wanted it, he’d push a finger slowly in while you slept and work it in and out, careful to keep you slumbering

if you woke up, he’d hush you and tell you to go back to sleep.

he won’t stop though.

both of them are jealous creatures. but moon especially so. if something makes him jealous then it’s absolute brutal thrusts down into his partner with their legs up around his shoulder. maybe choking them out.

don’t worry though. he knows his strength.

he’s 100% the type to silently overstimulate his partner. you could be begging and sobbing and covered in your own fluids and he wouldn’t stop unless you safeworded.

dick is pale blue to white gradient with a pink flushed tip

he doesn’t even make much of a sound when he cums. he just hisses through his teeth.

ooooh if he feels like you like sun more? oh no. oh no you’re done for. he’s gonna prove why he’s the best. it’s gonna be a problem.

a problem you enjoy but STILL

remember: he’s always watching.

always.

I HOPE YALL ENJOYED! please comment, reblog w comments, and request!!! it really motivates me <3