#oh shit *spiderman pointing meme*

[kimjunnoodle]

my “big brother” (my friend w the same bday as me) came for a surprise visit and we are so cute 😖

me and my twin on our birthday!!!

[eir-parade]

Station: Nightingale

Nightcord at 25:00 Adjacent Music Circle

A group of online users that uses the app Nightcord to communicate in order to create songs that can hopefully save someone and maybe even themselves

Kanade Yoisaki (K) - Composer. Blames herself for what happened to her dad, and so has cursed herself to create songs that will save people.

Tenma Saki (Nozomi) - Lyricist. Spent her Middle School years in hospital where she found K’s music and started writing lyrics to the songs. She hopes that her lyrics will speak and reach out to people.

Kamishiro Rui (Chrono) - MV Creator. Ostracized due to his eccentrics, Rui started attending night school to avoid his old classmates and spends all his free time creating Music Videos from his heart to try to get his feelings out.

Aoyagi Toya (Yato) - Arrangements. Wanted to escape Classical Music by any means and try to find his own sound and so one night came across K’s music as was mesmerized by it and the feeling it gave him so attempted to chase it by making his own arrangement of the song

SEKAI: Train Station SEKAI

Consists of a train station platform and a steam train with as many carriages as the eye can see.

The station itself seems to be located in the middles of an expansive field and is perpetually dark, only lit up by the stars in the sky and the stations lights.

Each carriage layout is identical to the next and despite how far down they go down the train, if they wish to exit, the door will immediately take them back to the platform.

Luggage and bags seem to dot around the platform and in the carriages.

First Virtual Singers

Hatsune Miku - Train Conductor. Isn’t necessarily very talkative but can be found humming or singing songs quietly. She offers a quiet and calm presence that makes the others feel welcoming. She assures that they are all safe on this train.

MEIKO - Passenger. Can almost always be found sitting on of the the benches on the platform with a bag. Similar to Miku, she offers a welcoming presence and is always willing to listen and give advice to the others, though she tends to act a bit aloof. She assures them that is fine to be themselves here and that there is no rush, the train will still be here for them when they are ready to depart.

Virtual Singers

Order of Appearance (StC)

Kagamine Len - Runaway. Is always caught hiding behind pillars of the station, or slouched deep into a chair in the carriages. He arrived on the train without a ticket and is scared of the ticket inspector (KAITO) finding him, so whenever he sees KAITO, he bolts the other way or quickly hides. He explains that he is on this train because he wants to get away and chase his own dreams which really resonates with Toya and slightly with Rui.

Kagamine Rin - Train Employee. Rin is always bursting with ideas on how to improve the station and the train itself. She is always covered in paint and dirt and is always carrying around tools and paint brushes with her. Some carriages of the train seem to be victims of her creative outbursts. The other virtual singers seem used to her eccentrics but don’t seem bothered by it and in fact actually encourage it.

Megurine Luka - Passenger? Luka isn’t seen very often in the SEKAI and mainly only appears when the group is ready to release a new song. She always warns of rejection and failure, saying “that this song also might not save anyone, or it won’t reach those it needs to reach. Are you prepared for that?” The group is normally hesitant after she says that but push on with their determination because even if this one fails, they’ll learn from it and the next one surely will and if not, one day a song will. Luka tends to specifically pick on Kanade, testing her determination.

KAITO - Ticket Inspector. Seems scary and strict but is actually exceptionally kind and is always ready to bring a bright atmosphere to the station. He jokes with the group and cares for them in a type of father figure way. He tells the group that whilst it’s always important to be kind, it is okay to have your own morals, if something upsets them or rubs them the wrong way, they don’t need to just smile and brush it off, it’s okay to say “I’m not okay with that.” In the same way he handles his job, he understands that some people can’t afford a ticket but he can’t just let anyone on board.

Subject to Change as I go on figuring out this AU more.

[celestialprincesse]

🪐🩷

I write sm of Simon with like super cutie patootie sweet softie gf's and today is not one of those days!! What about Si with a sassy, snarky spitfire of a partner.

He's kind of always thought that he'd want some soft, gentle, domestic partner to offset the general frustration and struggle of his work life. Some bird in a frilly apron to coo and preen at him like a wounded puppy.

And then he meets her.

She's some intelligence officer brought on by Laswell in hopes of attaining information on targets before missions to keep things running that little bit smoother.

She's had to not only survive, but thrive in a cutthroat mans world industry for years, and she takes not one single ounce of shit from anyone.

Price will occasionally (and very much unintentionally) simplify things for her in mission briefings and she just kind of sits there with arms crossed and a raised eyebrow until he gets the memo that he doesn't need to baby her.

She never has to actually go out into the field, so whilst the guys are all training in the gym, she sits and plays games on her phone or reads some smutty romance novels.

She didn't expect to fall flat on her ass for Simon Riley, but something about how quiet and level headed he is makes her very much metaphorically swoon.

He knows it, obviously. He's observant as fuck. He sees the way she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth when she has to crane her neck in order to look up at him, or when he casually helps her with boxes of files and she shifts bashfully from foot to foot, trying not to ogle his biceps.

When they start dating, she's not even afraid of the others finding out because they're too scared of her to tease the two of them.

They move in together and she designates the guest room for all of his man stuff, only to find out that he has like three personal items and some chargers. "The fuck you mean you don't have an ugly PC?! You're a guy?" He's so confused at her confusion until later in their relationships when she tells him that all of her past partners were kind of (major) dicks and that's why she didn't really date anymore, until she met him of course.

She tries really really hard to hide when she cries before he goes off on deployment, and works ten times harder to find useful information that will increase his chance of getting home to her safe.

He buys her really sentimental presents and she tries to hide how touched she is by calling him the softie even though she shamefully piles all of his clothes on the bed with her when he's away because she misses him so much.

She buys him a dog in secret on the same day that he comes home with a cat for her and they just sort of stand there in their front entrance like that Spiderman meme where they all point at each other.

The dog and cat love each other, almost as unlikely a pair as their owners.

She and Simon go into work one day and she's got a unique, delicate little ring on her left ring finger and the guys are like 😦"You got married and didn't invite us?" "No you fucking plebs we got engaged."

Never did anyone think they'd see the day where Simon Riley got engaged and thought about settling down.

They also thought the two of them hated each other until Simon casually is like "Oh, yeah no she and I went to this great place the other night. Good steaks."

[goinggoingghone]

dp x dc au but danny is bruce's biological kid and he knows it. his parents straight up told him as soon as he was old enough to know, and he loves his adopted parents all the same.

of course, it was a bit rocky with all that ghost business, but eventually Jack and Maddie came around to their halfa son and liminal daughter. Danny just thought it was funny they took longer to accept he was alive and dead than accepting he was in a relationship with Sam and Tucker.

So there's some ghost conference in Gotham being held by the GIW in order to get more occultists/people interested in ghosts to work for them. The Fentons go there, as published ghost scientists, to expose the GIW and prevent people from buying into their beliefs.

But while they're out, one of the Bats mistakes Danny for a younger Bruce. Of course there are some differences, but the Bat (I'm thinking Tim, who's running on like -16 hours of sleep and several cups of coffee) is convinced he's a clone or something. So he takes a DNA sample and the results come out: he's Bruce's kid.

Bruce is devastated that he couldn't be there for one of his kids, and so he tries to get more info in order to possibly get custody back. Tucker, who accidentally found the network the Batcomputer used three weeks ago while looking for the GIW's, is immediately aware they're looking into Danny.

The Fentons have a collective moment of "oh for fuck's sake" and try to come up with a plan to get Bruce Wayne, who definitely is Batman at this point, to get off their case.

While on a walk to get his thoughts in order, Danny runs into Red Hood in Crime Alley. Both of them are immediately aware of the other for vastly different reasons. Jason, for "Batman wants to adopt this kid who already has a family" and Danny, for "oh shit this guy has a fucked up core what the hell is wrong with this guy" they have a Spiderman meme moment and Red Hood, always on the lookout for an opportunity to spite Bruce, offers his help. Danny accepts, with the caveat that he takes Jason to the Realms to figure out what the fuck is up with him.

Jason is extraordinarily confused but for some reason the Pit is really quiet around this guy and he feels safe around some dumb teenager so he's like "okay?? Sure??"

Danny takes him back to the hotel the Fentons are staying in and explains the situation a bit. Jack and Maddie hook up their temporary portal (blowing the electricity of the hotel in the meantime) and get Jason to the ghost doctor, Frostbite.

He gets diagnosed with "bro your ectoplasm is fucked up" disease and his ectoplasm is cleaned. He's like a diet halfa, with a few ghost powers but no ghost form. A liminal on steroids.

Anyway, Bruce sends a Batkid to the Fentons hotel (because of course he found it) in civilian garb to explain the situation. The Fentons Are Not Having It.

So, of course, with parents Bruce believes are mad scientists, he takes it upon himself to get that child out of a home of mad ghost hunters. By kidnapping him.

Danny's just pissed off because he finally got Vlad off his case and now he's here dealing with ANOTHER billionaire with a bat-themed super persona wanting to forcefully adopt him. The irony would be funny if it weren't so infuriating.

The Batkids are so happy to have a "new brother" in the house, even if said brother really doesn't want to be there. Jason just has no fucks left to give anymore and re-kidnaps Danny.

This of course sparks a game of Who Can Kidnap Danny and it's getting to the point where Danny just hates the BatFamily more and more because he was SUPPOSED to have a date with Sam and Tucker today and now he's holed up in the Batcave getting fitted for a vigilante costume by Nightwing. Alfred and Jason are the only sane people in the mansion.

So Danny "Bad Decisions" Fenton just says "fuck it" and goes ghost in private, leaving the manor and flying back to Amity. The convention has ended by this point, so they're all back home.

Cue BatFamily freaking out.

Eventually Bruce serves the Fentons legal papers (once he finds their address). The Fentons show up to court and verbally and respectfully ream Bruce for trying to re-adopt their son who they love so much. As the evidence of Bruce being wrong adds up, he realizes what he's done and feels like shit. Jason gives him a hearty "I told you so" for his efforts.

The Fentons live happily ever after, and Danny gets a cool secondary family that he doesn't really like until they all apologize.

Heheh. Just wait until they meet Dani, he thinks.

[spinnysocks]

TLG Outlanders Jumanji AU that i have suddenly become obsessed with :) buckle up

i'm mainly basing this off of the 2017 movie, with elements of the 2019 one too

wema, tunu, dogo and kijana are playing when they find a hidden cave, they go in and they find lots of weird paintings on the wall and the floor. ever the inquisitive one, dogo steps into a circle in the middle and they all get sucked into... Jumanji?? or maybe in the TLG universe it's called Mchezo

the adults look for them. the leaders (plus kenge and sumu) and the idiots (plus mwoga, nne, tano and neema) go in two groups to search since the kids were missing for a while. the leaders find the hidden cave first as sumu noticed it in his small size. they get sucked in, and eventually the idiots find it after them

they turn into human versions upon entering the world. yeah they're pretty freaked out lmao

the premise is that they go through trials to "prove" themselves, at the risk of their 3 lives, to get to the final task of saving the kiddos. i'm thinking each of them get a task focused on their skills but all of them are at the will of it, aka any of them could lose a life in any trial

i think the Strengths & Weaknesses bit would be funny. kiburi has no weaknesses, he says smth like "I'm too good to be weak 😏" and then 'Pride' pops up hfgdhdh. tamka's weakness would be cake because i think it'd be funny. nduli's is picking up cool rocks. i would say goigoi's would be sleeping but he'd lose all 3 in an instant. the list goes on

reirei is mad because she gets the boring map-reader job lol, despite that she saves everyone's asses so

i imagine sumu is like Milo, he gives them the information in a really deadpan tone lmao. it's like "... Oh no..." "Spit it out, will you?!" "... Mandrills. We should go" and he just continues spilling knowledge while they're running for their lives lmao

you know how in the second movie Bethany/Milo is a horse? yeah nne and tano are straight up just themselves- they're hyenas but realistic, like they didn't change 💀 they're just there doing hyena laughs and absolutely savaging people in the fights

the ostrich scene from the second movie would be funny. maybe the hyenas are the drivers 👀 NONE of them trust their lives with janja, chungu or cheezi but somefuckinghow.. they don't die

in a trial where the leaders are really trapped, guess who sneaks in and saves them? Ushari!!! that was actually all of their reactions as soon as he spoke and they knew it was him. shupavu hugs him on impulse and then gets awkward about it lol, they're happy to see him

ushari explains how he didn't actually die when scar was destroyed but he escaped the volcano and happened across the hidden cave. he's been trapped ever since and obviously presumed dead. he's been stuck with 1 life because he needed the others to complete the rest of the trials :(

there's a dance fight where kiburi has to defeat the guards without being all guns blazing about it. literally the same as the scene with Martha. it's so funny at first bc he doesn't know what the fuck to do - i hc him as demi, he can't flirt with someone he doesn't know😭 - but when a song (prolly rap?) starts playing he beats their asses easy

little did they know the exact same thing was happening on the opposite side of the building, just with the idiots. tamka, nduli and neema also get their cool moment of beating people up, dance fight style! it's mainly tamka because he actually DOES have a strength in acting :)

the leaders and the idiots enter the building at the same time and it's an "Oh Shit!" spiderman pointing meme moment lmao. from this point on they do the trials together

the vultures fly the helicopters. you can imagine how well that goes. it's just like in the movie where something immediately breaks 😭 i think it'd be cool if kenge was the one to fix the helicopter, giving him a hero moment! imagine it

"Kenge, you did it! :D"

"Guess I did"

"Um... Oops"

"What Janja?"

"I dropped the jewel 😶"

"YOU WHAT?!?!"

janja loses a life in that scene from the rhinos 😭 do i wanna traumatise mzingo that much? idk. i just feel like that is such a janja thing to happen. fridge's character is janja-coded lmfao

"YOU PUSHED ME OUT THE HELICOPTER! >:("

that scene where fridge pushes spencer off a cliff? yeah that obviously happens. i'm thinking reirei and janja squabbling. would be funny if janja pushes reirei off impulsively and he just stands there, in shock, waiting to get yelled at when she respawns 😭

there's one of those Step On The Right Pieces trials. kiburi is being all cocky, steps on the wrong one and loses a life- bro gets absolutely humbled lmao. i think the skinks would be good at that trial for some reason

some random trial ideas: a "sleeping lions" type trial for goigoi. a "follow (copy) the leader" trial for mzingo. a food temptation one for the idiots??

jasiri definitely has a trial where she helps someone or shows that the "bad guy" NPCs can be good or somethin. that's probably the last trial before the finale

at the last trial they all work together to save the kiddos! it's really wholesome at the end because they saved the kids, they actually achieved something, they worked together, AND they got ushari back! :)

bonus:

based on the second movie, i was considering a different version of this au where janja purposefully enters the game to prove himself and it's more of a lesson of how it's not just about his strength, but the strength of all of them

janja just thinks he ain't good enough, especially not being leader of his clan anymore, but it's through working together when the others come after him that he realises that ain't true. just an extra thought i had :)

might make a follow up post because i came up with this in an afternoon just for fun 😭

[theglamorousferal]

More Phantom Transcendence

Okay but like

Both Danny and Alcor can take on a human appearance right?

Like, Danny is half-human and Alcor can just, make himself seem like he's human.

So what if Alcor is bored and decides he needs to pretend to be a human studying demonology at college, and Danny's over here going to college for engineering and ecto-studies and they end up roommates.

Here's the thing

Do they meet on move in day and immediately clock each other a la pointing Spiderman meme?

Like holy shit, you also have an entire dimension and fathomless power?! Dude, same! Let's fuck with the professors!

Or, has it been long enough that neither of them really remember what's normal for a human and so will do things like float and the other just, doesn't acknowledge it??

Or do they spend MONTHS trying to hide their weirdness from their "totally human" roommate only for it to come to a head when one of them gets summoned in front of the other?

Like, Danny, going by Dante Walker and Alcor going by Alucard "Lou" Redwood.

Alcor forgot humans don't have fangs and as he usually shows up in a black button down people assume he just takes the whole goth look to a new level by wearing fake fangs all the time.

Danny forgets that he looks like a damned twig and is seen just casually lifting work tables in class to get a part he dropped.

I don't know how I would want this to go honestly because all options are equally hilarious, but also have opportunities for angst.

One of them gets summoned and a child was sacrificed AGAIN why do they always use children, it's clearly stated that the summoning uses orange soda. Whichever it was comes back shaking, crying, covered in blood from the cultists they killed and the other is there to hold him and swear a curse upon the souls of those who thought it was a good idea to use an innocent little girl and hey, they're gone for this lifetime, maybe they'll not do it in the next one. Oh, you ate the soul of the leader? Well that's good, don't have to worry about them reincarnating and doing this again. Want to go get some burgers? I know a great spot.

Just, I need these two to be friends.

[finitevariety]

are you fucking stupid???

'oh, I wish when they flashed forward to the battle of the five armies, the leaders had all pointed at each other like the fucking Spiderman meme. that would have been neat.' That's how stupid you fucking sound.

Yabushige had literally just asked for info by saying he'd take it to the grave, lol. the quip was right there already. 'I wish he'd talked to him like iron man might' well i wish you weren't allowed to watch TV.

imagine watching the whole series and this being your takeaway:

lmaooooo. 'a dumbledore problem'. grow the fuck up.

like. the lack of an 'epic confrontation' (something he says twice in as many sentences lmao. proofread your shit) is PART of it??? it's ESSENTIAL.

Yabushige talks about this. The death of thousands on the field is immaterial to Toranaga beyond it being a setpiece on his way to success. To him, the battle doesn't matter; their lives don't matter. That's. the. point. they're. making.

'Your TV brain' has worms in it.

[project-sekai-facts]

ya know something I find weird about project sekai? the characters have to keep the sekai a secret for. no reason??? like the vocaloids never tell them to keep it a secret but when there's a chance they'll get caught they're like "oh Miku you gotta hide".

I think pjsekai should like, make the siblings see each other's sekai at some point. like idk akito walks into enas room and sees her talking to Nightcord Miku or some shit

imo it works the same way as superheroes in comics not talking about their secret identities. like imagine going up to someone and saying "there's a song on my phone that was created by my feelings and playing it teleports me to an alternate dimension that was also created by my feelings where miku and other vocaloids are real and help me with life problems" that's not a normal sentence to come out with

everyone will probably just think you're crazy, and if you actually proved it by getting miku to appear it would probably freak them the hell out. i mean it freaks akito out in the main story big time and he refuses to believe it's real for way longer than anyone else.

i think it would be funny if the siblings found out each other had sekai eventually. it'd be a spiderman pointing meme scenario "you know miku? i know miku"

[urhoneycombwitch]

weaponized incompetence related: he totally does, because once he figures out that seeing him work turns you on, he's doing that shit on purpose. Fixing things around the house in those slutty sweatpants, no boxers, hanging low on his waist to show off his happy trail and then he plays surprised that you're pawing at him like, who me?

And you know that little shit does it back. Purposely washes the laundry but leaves your pants in the washer until you're out of the shower all huffy in just your panties bending into the dryer because, oh, sorry sweetheart, I was only trying to help, you can borrow mine if you want. Or whining because he's so achy just so you'll give him a massage but oh, his thighs hurt too 🥺 Or sometimes he even gets turned on by you thinking? So he'll ask a question he already knows the answer to just to watch her forehead wrinkle and listen to how smart you sound.

And then once y'all realize you've been basically perving on each other it's the damn spiderman clone pointing meme 🙄

hahaha….. haha.. hah….

yeah 🫠

[aniron48]

Let’s play a game. Send me a potential AU and I’ll tell you five fun facts that would happen in a story

is it a low hanging fruit? yes. sometimes low hanging fruit is delicious.

bond's secret to his talent for resurrection is... resurrection. he has been dying his hair increasingly grey to look older over the years. he Does Not examine any similarities between M and Andromache. he is Not Going To fall in love with a mortal again, green eyes and adorable laugh be damned.

@dude-watchin-with-the-brontes hello friend! thank you for the AU ask! Oooh, "The Old Guard" AU for James Bond, let's do this! 😁

Well, first of all, in this AU, Vesper is the one who gets put into the Iron Maiden and dropped in the ocean Oh wait, this was supposed to be fun facts! Right! haha... ::sweats nervously and starts over::

The relationship between The Old Guard and MI6 is a special one. In this AU, one of Booker's children lived long enough to have children of his own, and Booker's identity became a family secret that was passed down through the generations. The last in the chain? Dench!M. (This at least partially explains her exasperated fondness for blond, broody alcoholics who don't follow the rules.)

2. When Bond dies for the first time (Moneypenny still shoots him off a bridge because in this AU I will give the people what we want--it's me, I'm people), the connection between Andromache's band of immortals and MI6 grows stronger, if more complicated. Andromache is the one to fish Bond out of that river in Turkey, and to bring him back to London when MI6 is under attack. When she does, Andromache and M eventually reach an uneasy truce whereby Bond can remain under M's command...for now.

3. Smart Blood trackers won't work on Bond--every time he dies they go offline and don't come back up. Bond has been known to use this fact to his advantage a time or two (shocking, I know). Q is going to figure it out eventually.

4. Meanwhile, over in the U.S., Copley has roped Felix into helping him find suitable missions for TOG. The first time Felix and Bond, unbeknownst to each other, show up at the same meeting after Bond's initial resurrection, it's like that meme of the Spidermen (Spidermans?) pointing at each other.

5. Once Q becomes immortal, too (because he's going to, obviously, I do what I want), the band gives Bond advice that is varying degrees of useful about how he should finally get his shit together and woo Q for the long term. Nicky suggests cooking a meal (goose fat cassoulet anyone?). Joe offers to help with a poem. Andy's suggestion of repeated mortal combat and mutual murder is greeted with some skepticism until everyone remembers how Joe and Nicky got together. Nile's all set to curate a romantic playlist until they get derailed by Bond's love for Celine Dion (I *will* die on this hill). Booker suggests drinks and everyone winces uh, flowers?

Sometimes low-hanging fruit IS delicious! What are your other fun facts for this AU? (Bond dying his hair grey at the temples absolutely sends me, btw.) I would love to hear them! 💜

[jamiesfootball]

hey, it's leverage anon back at it again! do you think roy and keeley crossed paths previously in this au, maybe on opposite sides of a job where roy was hired to protect something keeley was trying to steal (and keeley wins obvi)? or do you think they've only heard of each other through word of mouth and when they actually meet, it's like the spiderman meme with them pointing at each other like "ROY KENT???" "KEELEY???"

Oooohhhhh

I do think that at first it's in the same vein as Ted Lasso, where they know of each other, they've moved in similar circles for years, their names are all over London but they've just never had occasion to meet.

I think the spiderman meme comes screeching into play when they have a Rashomon Job moment where they both realize they foiled each other's heist going after the same golden scepter on the same night and they're both like, "THAT WAS YOU?!!"

In Keeley's defense she was undercover as a waiter so of course she was rocking her Bjork wig with the purple stripe so people wouldn't take a closer look at her face. And there was this guy there, a real proper intellectual type, with the glasses and the sweater, and the look he kept giving her! Piercing eyes, like they could see deep into her soul. She was so rattled that once she went into the vents to make her move, she didn't want to come back out!

In Roy's defense he was at a low place, making the switch from hitting to retrieval specialist, and his hair was like. So long. So curly. Bushy beard. And he was wearing glasses he stole from a guy in the car park (and busy cursing himself because fuck he might actually need glasses), and he had a cozy nerd sweater on so like. Everyone was looking but it wasn't because they were looking for Roy Kent, they were looking for a different reason, you feel?

Meanwhile Rebecca's like "you BOTH were trying to steal my ex-husbands tacky golden scepter under my nose? While I was trying to steal it?" And that confuses Ted because, "If you were already married to him, why would you need to steal it? It's technically yours at that point," and Rebecca is like, "Exactly. I was married to him, Ted. Of course I wanted to steal it."

Meanwhile Beard is just side-eyeing Jamie who ain't said shit.

And the longer Keeley, Rebecca, and Roy go round and round the only thing they agree on is there was this skinny little teenage kid at the museum like on a fucking field trip and he was annoying like he was just constantly underfoot no matter where they went-

"Oh, I know who you mean! He was rather sweet. Kept asking for a glass of champagne- cheeky little thing."

"Was that the one who kept wandering off from the pack? Insufferable. Every time I thought I had an opening, security would interrupt to tell me they found a child wandering into the cordoned off areas. By the time I had a chance to intercept the stupid sceptor, someone had replaced it with a champagne bottle."

No, he was fucking annoying and he dogging Roy's heels and asking Roy questions about Rothko and Hockney ("It's not about the composition. The colors are richer because of the depth of the layers" and "Because he's a twat," respectively). Roy finally thought he got lucky when he nudged the kid towards a buffet table and he started scarfing down food but then the kid almost choked to death and Rebecca does remember that actually she had to take him in the back so they could make sure his parents wouldn't sue have some medical doctor guest take a look at him.

And now Beard and Ted are both just looking at Jamie, and Ted has a bit of a smile on his face, and he's just like, "Jamie? Do you have anything you want to share with the class?"

Jamie winces and admits it was his one and only cyber heist - drawing up a fake school record to get in with a field trip, writing a little program that would temporarily disable the security cameras and motion sensors- he'd done it as a dare to himself to see if he could do it. And- "I never technically stole it. Got as far as stashing it in my school bag, and then the bag went missing. Lost my homework and everything."

And now it's Ted's turn to look apologetic, "Well I am awfully sorry about your homework, but let me tell you- that essay you wrote on Napoleon? Really good stuff. If I was your teacher, I'd have given you an A."

And that's the record scratch moment because Ted? Turns out he was the """medical doctor""" who volunteered to go with Jamie, but was actually there to keep an eye on things for his old security company.

Also they shouldn't beat themselves up to bad about losing because the scepter was a fake. See, once he found it ("in a highschooler's backpack no less!" "no, Ted, we don't call them that here") he got to thinking that the whole thing was mighty suspicious so he did what any normal midwest man would do if he thought he was being taken for a fool -- he called up a friend he knew who'd been to prison and asked if there was a way to tell if gold was fake.

"Lick it."

"Pardon?"

"Lick the scepter. If it's real gold you'll be able to tell."

"...Okay, but for the record I just want it to be acknowledged how much trust exists in this relationship."

And that's how they all (failed) to steal Rupert Mannion's (fake) golden scepter (what a twat).

[sol-consort]

mfw new sol-consort post

do you have any kai leng thoughts to share with us?

also, i don’t know if you have read them or not but, mass effect has novels (and comics)- where kai leng originated from - if you’re after more kai leng of course 🙏

mfw when writing and stories to tell and characters and readers and fun

fun

I do have MANY Kai leng thoughts I'm dying to share. I'm that meme of spiderman stopping the moving train with his body.

I haven't read any Mass Effect novels and comics before, I checked the wiki summary of the stories and they seem kinda interesting ngl.

If they add a lot of world building—the writing style of "All Tomorrows" and "Man after Man" for example—then I'd be fully down to reading them.

Either way, I found a copy of ME complete comics, the one with Aria on the cover. So let's read some of it!

It starts off with a badass picture of Thane oh my god we are off to a great start. LOOK AT HIM. What a man.

Holy moly turians are much more thicker than I remember, hips don't lie indeed.

Is two eyes a derogatory term batarians use for other alien species? That's an interesting detail.

Oh! look at their sharp lower teeth! They have an underbite.

Most humans have a slight overbite where our top teeth cover our lower ones.

You can only move your lower jaw, so when taking a bite, the food gets wedged diagonally like this shape / in-between your teeth for a second.

And that's useful since your mouth is more spacious at the top than the bottom, your teeth ensure the bite you take will smoothly slide to the empty top half of your mouth atop your tongue.

But batarians having their teeth rows switches means any bite they take will cause the food to slide underneath their tongue.

Is it intentional? Beneficial in some way? How do their tongues look like?

Batarians' bottom teeth are significantly sharper, indicating a meat-based diet? Maybe fish, insects, or other soft creatures because those canines would shatter otherwise.

They don't have incisors, and even lions have them.

So it's not about meat vs. plant based diet. It's about soft vs hard food. Their teeth imply that batarians can't eat hard food or carrots, for example.

Because you know who else have extremely sharp and lack incisors? fish, sharks, most aquatic omnivores.

What's interesting is that bats (the earth kind) are heterodont, aka their teeth are composed of a mix of different types. Some of them have incisors, others have fangs, most bats eat mushy soft things.

While batarians seem to have only one type of teeth that extends to the whole row of their mouth... well, we can't see their top row of teeth, so we can't really tell.

Anyway Liara just beat their ass in the comic, biotics really are op wow.

She's at omega now and holy shit look at those clothes

These are so fucking ugly.

You know what it looks like? Those 2015 DIY phone covers you made with a baloon, where you blow one halfway, quickly press the phone to it, and let it deflate so the rubber sticks to the phone back.

The titty window I can understand, the belly window not so much. Since when? Why not just wear a low cut crop top at this point? Why draw the line at covering your back?

why don't men get some belly windows?

Also I'm very interested in whatever those three have going on

Seeing a human and a salarian is common. A human and a krogan? You wouldn't bat an eye either.

But a human with both a krogan AND a salarian??!

Are they a poly throuple? Friends? Coworkers? Is the human mediating between the salarian and krogan? Why are they both standing up while the human rests?

It's almost like a face off between the salarian and the krogan, their body language is stiff and hostile while the human's is relaxed. They have the couch as a barrier between the two of them.

And damn salarian those are some strange knees buddy.

Hold a moment, what's that to the left side—what is that salarian wearing?

No serious. WHAT IS HE WEARING.

Ew.

Burn it. Take it off and BURN IT NOW.

What. How. Why. When? Why?? WHY?

Half circles? Belt? Brooch? Whoever sold them that jacket please step up to be thrown out of the airlock.

Racist bitch.

APOLOGIES!!! APOLOGIES RIGHT FUCKING NOW! YOU MADE THE ELCOR SAD :(((

And that's rich talking about trees coming from a drell, judging by the state of your planet, wouldn't assume you're familiar with any to begin with.

Something Something glass houses, now apologise to the elcor!

Skip ahead they're looking for Shep, Miranda shows up, things ensure and oh Liara punches him hell yeah.

OH SO NOW YOU'RE SUDDENLY AN ANGEL WHO FIGHTS FOR EQUALITY.

Get bent.

Oh.

Wait I just reached the end

He scarified himself for Shepard to return to Liara :(

He's the same drell we save in the Shadowbroker DLC, Feron, yeah.

I'm starting the second comic and it's taking place during the first contact war? that's actually interesting wait

I still haven't reached the one with Kai Leng, I hope it gives more information about his backstory. Either way thanks for recommending them!

[fivveweeks]

do you guys wanna hear my insane hassel x brassius x reader plot of course you do strap in and let me talk shit;

so this is like, technically a sequel AU after the Hassel x reader and Brassius x reader (i’m working on it!!!) nsfw oneshots, where a year or two has passed and you return to Paldea for the longterm bc of your job. Obviously you don’t remember the one night stands that well bc they were for fun, hopefully the idiots are happy but it’s nunya business about some strangers’ love life, so you go about your own

and that’s when you’re in Mesagoza and a tiny fomantis crashes into you by accident. and it won’t leave you alone after you kinda calmed it down

so you’re like “Wait, what do I do now. Who’s pokemon is this-“ until someone comes running to you in the distance, yelling apologies and when he gets closer-

It’s Brassius. The guy with the funny green hair and dramatic personality and it takes you a second or two to recognize but it strikes a chord in your memory. And him too, apparently, when he skids to a halt and goes, “it’s you!”

cue spiderman-meme pointing. cue a quick conversation of sorta catching up and to refresh your memory before he drags you off despite your protest, fomantis attached to your head like some fancy clown hat. Ten minutes later you both stop before a cafe table where Hassel is - oh he remembers too - gaping at you both, but mostly at you to be honest

(“So I take it that the confession went well, huh.” you say, and the blush that lights up on his cheeks is a familiar, lovely sight)

you spend the afternoon with them bc they insist on treating you to lunch (and thank you for your accidental interference and to apologize for the trouble they put you through before, which you don’t mind tbh it’s actually kinda funny looking back.) they’re married for over a year or two now, which is great, hell yeah! you’re super happy for them, congratulations, jesus christ i cannot believe you both knew each other for over a decade, practically lived together and only confessed bc of the incident, what the hell-

and unfortunately, no matter what you three try, the fomantis just doesn’t want to leave your side

why don’t you take care of it for the moment? Hassel suggests, which Brassius immediately lights up bc that is a fantastic idea! what says you, my dear? so after a discussion of pokemon expenses (I’ll take care of it, Brassius waves his hand. no need to concern yourself over it) you sorta? kinda agreed to a weekly visit to Artazon or Mesagoza so you and fomantis can check in with them

and so goes the weekly lunch visits where you kinda learn more about the eccentric couple? turns out Brassius is an expert with grass types and you spend hours listening to him talk about fertilizer mixes and how much water and attention you should give to a fomantis (the species is unfortunately one of the more difficult types to look after, wow). Hassel is also good with advice whenever Brassius has to attend important events. you learn the right way to cradle grass pokemon like toddlers and weeks later Brassius takes you to Alfonada so your fomantis can pick a pot for sunbathing

(and throughout the time spent together you find it lovely to just watch them both interact. Brassius and Hassel are obviously smitten towards each other and all the little things they do are just really nice to observe quietly. Individually too, you can definitely appreciate watching them enjoying themselves and being good at what they do, like whoa Brassius looks really nice in that open-collared shirt and the way he sometimes rocks his smoliv in his arms and dances with his pokemon is really endearing and cute)

and then bc fomantis (you don’t give it a name bc it’s not technically yours but you might as well call it Big Baby from how clingy it is) starts to get acclimated you can probably start slowing down the visits to just once or twice a month. you’re kind of relieved that you’re getting the hang of this and won’t need to trouble Brassius too much now

except Brassius looks… a little moody? Upset? Disappointed when you both brought it up? or maybe you’re just looking too much into it?

but he doesn’t mention anything so your visits slow down in the end, and you take fomantis out to the forests and lakes to get enough exercise and sunlight, and honestly you’re just minding your own business but turns out god has other plans for you-

bc that’s when you stumble across a disturbed dragon habitat and now a Dreepy has accidentally attached to you.

deja vu, huh.

so now it’s Hassel’s turn to host the weekly meet ups bc turns out the man’s a dragon tamer, holy fucking shit, and rehabilitating a baby dragon is one of the most difficult things in the world without formal training. you do the same song and dance again and throw in outings to the wild where you both try to locate the scattered pod of Dragapults and Dragloaks. Brassius joins in when he has the time and somehow you three just start to have picnics together I guess. you’re not complaining tbh the both of them are a joy to spend time with

(and Hassel is really cute when he’s coaxing baby dragons? plus how calm he is when he’s calming down wild adults and knowledgeable he is in regards to the region and the care and concerns he has towards the endangered species- WOUGH he plays the guitar and piano too wtf is there anything this man can’t do???)

your schedule now develops into like, every one or two weeks you chill with either Hassel or Brassius and once a month or two the three of you hang out together. you hang until y’all actually find the dragon pod, but by now the Dreepy refuses to leave you so…

“I guess I’m responsible for a dragon and a plant now,” you shrug, not too upset. You’ve kinda warmed up to them by this point. you tell Brassius and Hassel they don’t have to keep paying for the expenses anymore, you’ll find a way to deal with it since you’re a trainer now. and they can free up most of their time now that they don’t have to keep babysitting you?

what you didn’t expect was to see the faint disappointment and crestfallen look on Hassel??? Like Brassius???? jesus, don’t be so sad, they can always grab lunch with you anytime, y’know, even if there’s no pokemon raising, just text you lmao they have your phone number anyways

which turns out to be the right thing to say bc now you’re getting invited to little art shows and outings occasionally now, and even dinners. that’s nice, you think, honestly they’re both lucky to have each other and maybe in some other life you probably would have dated either one of them but eh, you’re content where you’re at right now tbh, no biggie-

until a few weeks later they drop the bomb on you that they’ve been trying to hint at you for months now and do you want to date them, yes the both of them at the same time, Brassie looses his mind after our lunches now and HASS you TRAITOR says the man who blushes every time I bring them up when we k-

cue internal panic, some discussion about polyamory and expectations and stuff but… long story short, somehow you end up dating the both of them, now???

(you don’t find out one of them is a goddamn gym leader and the other an elite four until months later for some fucking reason, and you loose your shit inevitably bc NO WONDER YOU‘RE BOTH SO GOOD AT BATTLING, WHAT THE HELL)

(bonus chapter is where the both of them fuck you into the bed until the frame cracks, get that old men ass babey)

[wanderer-of-light]

G'raha for the WoL ask game?

tee hee UwU G'waha,,, <3 <3 <3

Vastha has a very good relationship with G'raha!! Nothing romantic, just very very close friends or QPPs? They love to nap together in weird positions (as cats do) and chat on and on and on with one another about all sorts of things. Anything, really. Vastha loves listening to G'raha talk about his passions and studies (even if he doesn't understand some of it) and likes cooking for him because G'raha always finished his plate lmao.

They became fast friends back in ARR when it really was just the "[spiderman pointing meme] catboy!! catboy!!" And it just went from there. We all know G'raha is a WoL #1 fan, but in Vastha's canon G'raha slowly worked on that and let that aspect of his fascination with Vastha go-- because being only seen as the WoL bothers them a LOT. Vastha HATES being only referred to by titles and things he's done for others-- even worse being called Azem-- so it actually strained their relationship a little upon re-meeting and G'raha only ever talking about them as The Warrior Of Light. The Hero. Title Title Title Deed Deed Deed Glorification Blind Awe Yadda Yadda. It took a bit, since Vastha is pretty good at hiding their emotions and being polite in public and around others as to not make scenes and what not. But, after SHB and time to settle back down, G'Raha started catching on and shifting his language and how he went about interacting with Vastha to make him feel more like a person again.

Vastha is very grateful, obviously! Hence him cooking for G'raha, almost exclusively calling him Raha, sharing a lot more about home and his family, and more personal stuff to really kind of make a point that he is just a person despite all the wild shit he's accomplished through sheer dumb luck and other's believing in him.

A lot of people are always surprised when they say they aren't dating, but then they see Vastha go and headbutt or flop/lean against someone else like he does with Raha and they go "Oh. He's just physically affectionate"; because he is. Thankfully, with how close the two are, there is no pressure to Date Or Not. Vastha respects and does admire G'raha a good bit, but he doesn't have any romantic feelings for him (unfortunately). Just someone they are incredibly comfortable to be around and one of few people they know see's them as more than The Warrior Of Light.

[lauterishotter]

*spiderman pointing at eachother meme*

[- @slaughterlauter]

oh shit another me????

woah.

im. woah.

question how do you feel about the problematic pooch.

[quek-a-sketch]

Small town rumours! PD is so funny cuz like

You're a group of teenagers, one of you is from another world and is maybe the child of an eldritch being beyond the reaches of human comprehension, but it's totally fine!!! He's just quirky guys we swear!! Totally NOT a cryptid!! And then another member of your group literally DIES and raises back from the dead almost... Possessing himself? So bam ya got another Cryptid

People just assume if anyone In that group would be a Cryptid it'd be Dakota but he's not (... Yet)

So for protection after being taken in my this kinda underground council of the paranormal population, they are sent to live in a little country town to live until they can better hide their abilities and Dakota comes with because they all move in with Tide and yes Tide is Dakotas adoptive father

They move there and almost immediately find the only other teenage paranormal/cryptid aligned teenager in town, Ashe, and his father mark-

And then, because will still loves investigations and Cryptid hunting himself (obviously not the deadly or professional kind) they stumble across one of the other mc groups cryptids and it scares the fuck outta them

Like I can see them going to the lack outside of the town in the middle of the night only to see Gillion emerge from the water (to meet with chip and jay who are standing at the bank) and they just lose their shit because OH GOD THERES A REAL CRYPTID HERE

... like boys you do remember that you are also cryptids right? /J

It's just silly overall it's that one spiderman meme where everyone is pointing because of how all the groups eventually meet and wow this town has waay too high of a paranormal population gee golly hope no one dangerous catches wind of that !!