#oh oof my text formatting

[fedorasaurus]

Been getting back into fanfic writing after a couple years of barely churning out any WIPs. It feels good! A lot of my stories have been too raunchy to share on main, but for this one, here's some SFW Gunther x JC fluff.

It's a real short one, <1000 words.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53935072

Downtime

You know what they say: "it takes all kinds to make a world."

Jordan Shea had seen all sorts of folk enter the Underworld Tavern over the years. Mechs, however, were an unusual sight, especially ones decked out in as much hardware as the tank of a man who approached the bar that night. Arms, legs, and eyes all replaced with sturdy metal and cabling. A web of intricate wiring, likely the kind used to inhibit pain in soldiers who take on the more risky missions, was visible just beneath his skin. The whole top of his head was a metallic dome, probably bulletproof. Machinery like his wasn't cheap, nor was it necessary for the average civilian. Had to be a UNATCO agent, she thought, giving the big man a knowing nod. She too had been involved in an augmentation program, once upon a time. Now her mechanical arms were mostly used for her bartending duties--not to say she couldn't use her hardware in combat when belligerent patrons ignored her establishment's "no weapons" policy.

Underworld was known as a smoky, shady place, where people made legally questionable deals over games of pool and shots of liquor, but it was also known as a safe place, a place not to be fucked with. "Underworld" was a scary-sounding name, maybe, but it was fitting. All kinds of "sinners" from society were welcome here, free to be themselves, whoever they were, if only for a few hours.

Judging by the Mech's tough-guy stance and serious expression, she suspected he'd be ordering something strong tonight. Maybe a whiskey (or two). She was surprised, then, when all he asked for was a soda.

[story continues below the pagebreak]

"Orange," he specified.

"No problem, sir, that'll be ten credits."

He seemed delighted as she passed him the chilled can, as if orange soda was some kind of rare commodity that you couldn't get from literally any old vending machine.

Strange guy, Jordan thought with a smile as the Mech made his way to a booth in the back of the tavern. That's when she noticed that he'd come to Underworld with someone else.

The other man looked fairly average, but in a suspicious way. Like he was trying too hard to be incognito with his black sunglasses and long trench coat. She couldn't quite read his face or body language, either. Just, completely neutral. She'd seen the guy once before, now that she thought about it. He'd ordered a couple beers and asked about her augs, said he was "in the business." He was polite enough, and while Jordan wasn't exactly thrilled with UNATCO's tendency to "phase out" old Mechs in favor of agents with the newest, fanciest models of tech, she knew better than to pry about their latest "business."

She wondered if the agents were here on some sort of stakeout. Was her bar under government surveillance or something? If they were looking for intel, she'd be hard pressed to give up any juicy details. Nothing personal, of course. She had the same policy with those Midnight Sun tabloid journalists.

Jordan kept an eye on the two agents while she worked her shift. They sat close to each other, talking softly, and she'd never been good at reading lips, so who knows what they were plotting back there. Had to be important, though, the way they were leaning in at such an intimate proximity, faces almost touching. The big Mech smiled a few times, and overall seemed pretty relaxed, so Jordan chalked it up to just a couple of off-duty cops who, like lots of folks in this city, were coming to Underworld to get away from it all for a few hours. And she knew, there was a hell of a lot to get away from these days.

She quit focussing on the men for a little while, going on with her job mixing drinks and chatting with the regulars, until the other guy--the suspiciously average one, approached the bar.

"Evening, ma'am," he said flatly.

"Evening, officer. What can I get for ya?"

"I'll have a whiskey and a candy bar, please."

Jordan smiled with amusement as she turned to pour the glass. She'd have thought him to be strictly a beer guy, but it seemed the night was full of surprises.

The agent returned to his booth and resumed his private conversation with the big Mech, this time splitting the Choco-lent-Dream with him as well. Jordan couldn't help but notice that their hands lingered for a while over the crumpled candy wrapper afterwards, their fingertips ever so loosely entwined. And, surely, it wasn't just the whiskey that was bringing a certain blush to their cheeks.

Ah, I get it now, Jordan thought, her smile broadening to a full grin.

They really were just a couple of cops trying to get away from it all for a few hours. After all, it was hard to find a place in this city--in 2052 in general, for that matter--to just sit down in peace and have a few drinks with a lover.

Jordan was happy that the Underworld could be that place for them.

[the-tmnt-ficfinder]

Ficfinder finds: The Lemonade Leak

Chapter 22: The Stranger

Chapter 22 Summary: No Summary

The Stranger: Appraisal and Ratings

(Don't know what fanfic "Appraisal and Ratings" means? Check out my explanation on my Main Masterpost! Looking for a different fanfic to read? Head on over to my Fanfic List Masterpost!)

Disclaimer: This fanfic is only available to those who have an Ao3 profile. This fanfic is written by @turtleinsoup, so go show them some love and support!!

The fanfic ratings are not based on quality, favoritism, or how good I think it is, but rather, how intense a subject may be. Like a movie review, or the tags on Ao3, letting the readers know what to expect.

Plot: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Plot is five out of five!! Things are really intense and in the thick of it now!! This chapter, once again, has some majorly important lore drops, and it quite intense!!"

Suspense/Mystery: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Suspense/Mystery is four out of five!! The fact that this chapter is from Donnie's POV, only makes the suspense and mystery even better!! While Donnie knows who he is, he can understand what's going on, we have NO clue what Leo is thinking!! It's very clever, that when we most wanted to know what was going on with Donnie, the fic was from Leo's POV, and now that the tables have turned, its more from Donnie's POV."

Angst/Hurt: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Angst/Hurt is five out of five!! Oof this chapter has a lot of emotional angst. Like, the kind brought on by betrayal. Seriously, this chapter, while its amazing, is also very intense."

Fluff/Comfort: 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

"Fluff/Comfort is zero out of five! This chapter has no fluff, and no comfort! Everything is going to hurt!!!"

Emotions Conveyed: 💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Emotions Conveyed is three out of five!! Oh man, the despair, the utterly crushing sense of betrayal, and the heartbreak from Donnie are immaculate!!"

Drama/Tension Level: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Drama/Tension Level is five out of five!! This entire chapter is filled with nonstop tension, and sibling drama!! Because, of course the Disaster Twins would be the most dramatic together."

Triggers: 💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Triggers for this chapter are three out of five. This chapter has a lot of medical drama in it, along with triggering medical content. In the authors note, it warns for "Bad Humor, Sibling Abuse, Unresolved Emotional Tension." Remember to always read the tags, and stay safe!"

Legibility (Reading): 💛💛💛💛💛

"Legibility (Reading) is five out of five!! I really loved how in depth the explanations went during this chapter!! Highly impressive!! This chapter, as it is from Donnie's POV, is very enjoyable to read, as its full of equations, and unique texts."

Legibility (Audio): 💛💛🖤🖤🖤

"Legibility (Audio) is two out of five!! Due to this chapter being from Donnie's POV, a lot of the text doesn't translate well into audio book format. Its incredibly hard to understand, and takes away from the unique quality of the special text."

Length: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Length is four out of five!! Chapter 22 of The Lemonade Leak takes about 41-42 minutes to listen to!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter ->

<- Previous

The Lemonade Leak: Story Ratings and Chapter List

Personal thoughts on chapter below cut (Contains Spoilers)

I'd first like to point out the chapter name of "The Stranger". Is Leo the Stranger? Is Donnie? To each other, they both appear as strangers.

He woke up, feeling like someone was trying to resculpt his skull with a sledgehammer. The ache was so bad he needed a moment to string a coherent thought together. The first one was, Wonderful. Brace yourself, Brain, we must’ve been hit by a train again.

I feel like this implies that he has indeed been hit by a train more than once (besides when he was attacked by Leo in the train) lol. Perhaps it was the Krang train? 

Donnie ran his tongue along the inside of his teeth, gathering the vocals needed. “To put it in words, I synthesized a composite matrix using transgalactic astronucleides – subatomic components originating from an extradimensional - but also pretty much not - construct. These astronucleides due to their inherent non-Euclidean properties, lead to a range of attributes that diverge significantly from conventional matter-energy interaction paradigms. Interlaced within the compounds, they engage in highly resonant interplay. The localized resonance catalyzes a cascade of spatial reactions in the cellular milieu of the afflicted entity – in our case, Raph – orchestrating a corrective intervention against an aberrant ‘infectious’ process, which ostensibly defies terrestrial pathological norms.”

The amount of effort put into this paragraph right here is tremendous!! Beautiful, and poetic!! I love how much terminology is used. Rather than hedged sentences, it’s a full on explanation!!

It sat heavy in his mouth but was just smooth enough to swallow. Donnie counted the milliliters running down his throat, pausing at about 150. Then he pinned Leo with his stare. “Where are we?”

Donnie can count exact milliliters… just… wow!!!

Donnie tore off the plastic lid. He expanded the pharynx inside his throat and downed the entire drink including the garnishing in half a second. Then he gave Leo a glare, licking the corner of his lip clean. “Do they know, or do they not know that I am here, Nardo?"

Soft shell turtles swallow their meals whole. I always enjoy when this fact is incorporated into Donnie’s biology. 

This chapter had such a unique intense flow to it!! The story pacing for this fic is just absolutely incredibly!! It went from feelin isolated, and small, to massive, and incredibly huge!! Plot level jumped from a 10 to a 100!!

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Hello! Sending some numbers from the end-of-year book ask, I'm not sure of everything you've already answered, so if you'd like to do any or all of these: 4, 5, 12 (especially because you write about reading books with vibes related to your projects), and 17. I hope you feel better!

hiya!! thanks for the ask! referencing this post.

4. If you DNF any books, what was the pettiest reason you put a book down this year?

so one of my toxic reader traits is actually that i DON'T tend to DNF things--i'm very stubborn, and i tend to read fast enough that it doesn't feel like a waste of too much time, AND i usually flip from "Reading to Read" to "Reading to Tear That Shit Apart" (as a writerly exercise, mostly, or for a hate read, which i find cathartic because i am frequently full of rage these days).

one book that is taking me Much Longer Than Anticipated to get through, though, is DAEMON VOICES by Philip Pullman, which i started in....september. a writer friend gifted it to me, and i was pleasantly surprised by the last book she gifted me, so i'm slogging along. but. this man. grates on me. it's mostly his hot takes on religion, so i keep putting him in time out when he conflates shit he has no business conflating. some of his general story thoughts are interesting! but every time he mentions religion, he's on thin ice with me, and he keeps winding up in Time Out About It lol. (also the lectures transcribed to essays format isn't really working for me, pettily.)

5. What's a scene you read this year that sticks with you?

oof okay i LOVE the specificity of this question but it absofuckenlutely made me bluescreen haha.

after staring at my shelves about it for a few minutes (quite a few minutes), i have to confess that MOST of NETWORK EFFECT is imprinted on my grey matter (but that's my second time rereading it, so i don't know if it counts. shout out to "ART sent me" and "you little idiot," especially).

for things new to me this year: the last scene of ROADSIDE PICNIC by the Strugatskys has apparently ALSO imprinted on my brain (unexpected), and mumu's delightful narration in WALKING PRACTICE by Dolki Min has great sticking power (there's some VERY cool text formatting going on there that feeds into the voice, which i loved!).

12. Did any book inspire you to create?

first off, it made my whole week that you mentioned the reading/writing/vibes thing, i feel seen and known, thank you!!

second off: WALKING PRACTICE gave me excellent writing-related vibes and inspiration for my weird little monster child book, and i loved the cool formatting/voice things it did. (it definitely comes with content warnings, though, for things like graphic on-page sex and body horror and eating people (frequently all three of those together/concurrent), so proceed with caution if that's not your jam!)

the SKYBOUND SAGA also inspired ~creation~ for me, from the opposite direction: very much a "damn, if this can get published, mine can too, let's gooo" type of inspiration. (i am a spite-fueled being, sometimes.)

17. A book you reread this year. Did it hold up to how you remembered it?

oh! i did actually quite a bit of rereading toward the end of the year!! i reread ARTIFICIAL CONDITION and NETWORK EFFECT in preparation for SYSTEM COLLAPSE, and those absolutely held up--ART and murderbot are my beloveds, and i stayed up way past my bedtime for like a week in a row (even though i have reread both of those at least once before, so hypothetically i know what's coming and i could put them down any damn time)(reader, i cannot).

my other rereads were VICIOUS and VENGEFUL by VE Schwab. VICIOUS held up perfectly, too--i've reread it before, and this time i did it specifically to dissect her timelines, and it's just a masterpiece of tension and pacing and history and reveals.

VENGEFUL, on the other hand, was Fine™. i don't hate it, but i don't love it--i could set that one down easier (which was good for my aforementioned bedtimes), and dissecting it wasn't as helpful of an exercise. don't get me wrong, i love victor and mitch and syd, and i enjoyed eli's backstory, but. it wasn't VICIOUS.

thanks again for asking!!

[henryhas2moms]

years later they’re having a glass of wine and reminiscing like “omg remember when elizabeth mitchel came to town and tried to trap me in the sisterhood of the traveling bracelet?”

regina: with that other white girl. of course i remember— you used my… feelings for you to break the spell on the bracelet

emma: oh yeah, you were still pretty mad at me i guess :/

regina: not… that kind of feeling…

emma: what other kind… wait— regina did you have a crush on me?!!??!?

regina: i thought you knew that! you were flaunting your happiness with hook so i would fireball your sisterly manacles.

emma: that was more in a general gross, sappy-couple-y sense. you hate when couples are sappy.

regina: i hate when your parents are gross and sappy.

emma: you and me both. but you and robin hood were pretty cozy before i brought marian back, i thought you were angry about that!

regina: emma………..……………… you were jealous of robin??

emma: YOU WERE JEALOUS OF HOOK????????????

[theeeveetamer]

Scarlet Blaze Liveblog, Chapter 5

It got rid of my extra spaces when I hit post :( Why do we live? Just to suffer?

SPEAKING OF SUFFERING! Holy shit the new Tumblr beta editor REALLY fucking hates formatting. Wouldn’t let me make any of these sections into bullet points. I have been fighting with this thing for weeks now (it also really hates letting me remove large sections of text as well). Had to turn it off to get any semblance of formatting so I hope it looks alright when I hit post

Explore dialogue

Now we have an NPC saying that there SHOULDN’T be fog this time of year. Make up your mind, game.

Linhardt: Aw my lazy days are over :(

Shez: You know some of us never had lazy days

Linhardt: Yeah but weren’t you just doing that because you wanted to?

Uh, no it’s called Shez is a commoner and had to literally become a mercenary to SURVIVE. They mention that numerous times. In another support they talk about how they were happy to eat rats if it meant their belly got filled. jfc, Lin, the privilege just oozing from you…

There’s a random mage lady who asks you if anyone on the opposing side uses dark magic. Agarthan lady, perhaps?

Ferdie stands like someone wearing one of those babydoll skirts from Style Savvy and I love him

Interesting that they explicitly state that Hrym was wiped out for resisting Ionus’s power centralization here. IIRC that was a lot less explicit in 3H

We also have explicit trade with Dagda, Albinea, Brigid and others. So I guess that’s another point against “Rhea doesn’t let Fodlan have contact with outside nations”

Why does Randolph look like he has a tiny blanket on his shoulder lmao

Wait why was Constance hostile to living in the Empire again?

Oof. Between Dimitri and Edelgard, Dimitri definitely got the superior Hapi nickname

Random Tidbits

Lmao. Hubert being like “I don’t even have to try not to kill you” during training and Ferdie being like “uh. Thanks. I think.”

I really wish the game would tell me when a character maxes out support points even if the letter is locked. It’s really annoying building support and then just realizing it’s not going up anymore after you’ve wasted so many training points and whatnot

I’ve decided that I’ve stopped caring if units like the food I’m cooking. Y’all will eat it and y’all will like it. I’m done coddling your asses.

I don’t care if you’re bad at the tasks either. Caspar, Linhardt, I’m sure you’ll do fine at running this street stall.

HUBERT WANTS TO GO ON AN EXPEDITION!!! OH BOY!!!

Hol up lemme drop everything

I hope he takes me somewhere nice to kill me

Good thing I unlocked all these new excursion spots. Gonna drive me crazy tho since I’m pretty sure there’s different dialogue in each one

“The shorter a leash, the better”. Kinky

Let’s go on a nice waterfront murder date

“Once, two souls took a boat out on the water… Only one returned. A fine story, yes?” oh my god he’s actually going to kill me

I have a feeling he wanted me to propose a competition… No wonder Ferdie is his type

“Ask thoughts on their employer” that’s a new one, I don’t remember that question ever popping up before

Unfortunately I don’t get to stare at his face. I was really looking forward to more murder dialogue.

Support Conversations

Shez/Caspar C - Caspar has daddy issues lmao of course he does they all do.

Sorry, having daddy issues won’t save your appeal from that hairstyle

I was about to comment on Caspar being like “I’ve got to build my way up from the bottom” but then he actually addressed what I was going to say by acknowledging that he at least has his name to lean on. So good for you Caspar, I see you retain some semblance of self awareness in this game so far.

Shez/Linhardt C - Shez: Just so we’re clear, whatever Hubert said you were gonna do to me, I’m not into it.

Shez is not kinky confirmed :(

How is Linhardt NOT interested in Shez’s power. She literally fucking shapeshifts and he’s just like “eh, whatever it’s just a sword.”

Like. What. C’mon dude.

Shez/Monica C - Ok Monica I hate you

MANUELA/JERITZA B LET’S GO - GIRL STOP BEING SO THIRSTY

Oh my god do not make Jeritza smile

Manuela: Don’t you want to talk to people?

Jeritza: No.

Stop making Jeritza relatable to me

Lmao Manuela realizing she’s still single because everyone views her as a teacher

Come to me Manuela! I have a teacher kink! We can do both!

Caspar/Dorothea C - Caspar: I’m reading

Dorothea: You can read???

This support is weird. Caspar is like “I wanna study” and Dorothea is like “You need to study!!!! Here let me lecture you on how you need to study!!!!!!!!!!” Caspar: “WOW I NEED TO STUDY!!!!”

Like he was already doing it Dorothea, geez.

Shez/Manuela C - Lmao we stan a messy queen

Y’know Manuela we can smash. I’ll never leave you

Shez/Hubert B - Uh wow weirdly abrupt start. Am I supposed to take this as happening directly after the last one??? They’re standing in the same place and Shez starts like Hubert just said something

Like. Really weird way to do this

“Sever ties” so that’s what the kids are calling it these days

Shez: You have emotions

Hubert: *confused Hubert noises*

Lmao he just had to insult my intelligence there at the end. Never change, Hubert

I know this is a lot of supports but since I’m playing on NG+ I have like 8 activity and 8 training points so it’s stupid easy to get supports. I didn’t even talk about all of them. I imagine future posts will have less as I start hitting time gated supports

Side Battle/Story Content

I’ve been putting this off by playing free mode battles with the renown unlockable characters lol.

Omg Maximum ambulation. Ferdie runs so fast. He’s got the zoomies!!!

Oh no Hubert wants to kill talk to me

Hubert: It’s cute how u thought I would let you live, tho

HI DADDY RODRIGUE

Man first Seteth now Rodrigue? This route really hates DILFs I guess

I mean I’m not surprised. Look at Count Bergliez

RIP Gustave is here too. Guess they’re making him fight in this route

Main Battle/Story Content

Everyone: *whispering*

Ferdie: WHY ARE WE WHISPERING!!!!!!!???? :D

Ferdie you lovable himbo

Ok do we really need three rounds of “why is everyone so quiet” so everyone can get their dialogue about being quiet in?

I wonder if this conversation changes with permadeath. It’s kind of written like it

Maybe I should do an “everyone dies” run in the future just to see how the story changes lol

INGRID!!!!!! MY DARLING!!!!!

Lmao I don’t even like Ingrid that much but I already miss my Lions :(

Oh I guess Jeralt is in the Kingdom now

I mean they’re trying to do the whole “oooooh mystery who could it beeeeeeeee” thing but I know Ling Tong when I hear him

Oh looks like Ashe is a traitor. Can’t say I’m surprised

Honestly fuck Lonato. If you have a problem with sexy dragon lady you have a problem with me

I haven’t talked about this but honestly the colors are fucking me. It’s a good thing Warriors games don’t have friendly fire because I keep running right past all the soldiers in blue to try and kill all the soldiers in red, because like. Fire Emblem do be like that normally

I keep finding big purple circles on the ground. What is that. What does it do. Who is doing that

I actually feel like a bad person for recruiting Ashe here. I mean Lonato is literally willing to kill the poor kid

Edelgard: Family should not fight family

Also Edelgard: Unless it’s Dimitri fuck that guy lmao

Also Also Edelgard: Also Rhea, since she probably banged my great great great great grandaddy a thousand years ago (and maybe is my great great great great grandmommy). Fuck her too

“I could not bear to lose another son” Ok then maybe don’t try killing him, Lonato???? What the fuck?

If saving you weren’t a requirement you would be so dead right now, Lonato

Byleth was kind of a pushover on NG+ lmao

… I’m sorry does Monica have jiggle physics

Ok her boobs don’t have jiggle physics, but her bow does. Which makes it look like she has boob jiggle physics. Why.

JFC Bergliez is so ugly

JUDITH MY BELOVED

She was surprisingly absent from AG I’m glad I get to see more of her

I’m sorry, Bergliez got all the way to Deirdriu????? When???????? When did we do that?????

Damn we killing daddy Gloucester, aren’t we? This is dead Fire Emblem dad dialogue

Oh even this guy gets a first name. Not the moms tho. Fuck the moms I guess :/

I’m surprised Fleche got a name and wasn’t just “Randolph’s sister” for the entirety of 3H

Kinda awkward to hear Petra complimenting the dude that murdered her dad

“The head of House Ordelia is one of the Five Great Lords” am I misremembering? I thought Lysithea’s family gave up their seat at the roundtable to Marriane’s uncle because they knew their house was in decline thanks to Lysithea’s condition

I went looking through her supports to see if I was right and apparently Lysithea/Hilda support confirms homeopathy of all things exists in 3H. No wonder these people still die of the plague.

Ok I couldn’t find anything and I don’t care enough to keep looking, but I got my eye on you, continuity guy

“Consider why we chose not to dismantle House Aegir” goddamn Hubert is just going straight for Ferdie’s throat

Ferdie: Haha I’m in danger

Also RIP Ferdie basically blatantly admitting that he’s only still around because he’s willing to “toe the line” regardless of how he feels about anything. Why am I supposed to be rooting for the Empire again?

I don’t get why people are like “We went to school with these people for 30 seconds maybe they’ll listen to reason” like? Why would they, exactly?

Like it was stupid in 3H but at least they had a whole year in 3H. In this game they were all literally at the academy for like a month

Recruiting Ashe also feels weirdly OOC for him after he spent the entirety of AG’s prologue and parts of part 1 talking about how Lonato would want him to do what he thinks is right and how he believes Lonato has gone off the rails, and while it hurts him, he believes it’s right to stop Lonato. Here he’s just like “Ok fine I don’t want to kill him I guess I’ll join you. Fuck my dreams of being a knight.”

I guess they had to make someone from the BL recruitable and everyone else makes even less sense than Ashe. I mean can you imagine if they let you recruit Ingrid here? Lmao

Anyways wrapping up

Spoilers for recruitables in this route here here.

Can I just say, the spread of recruitable characters, from a gameplay perspective, is kind of weird?

On SB, of the characters you get automatically, half of them are mages (5 of your starting 11 are mages).

Not including the wolves or other characters, you get Ashe, Ignatz, Lorenz, Raphael, Lysithea, Marianne, Mercedes, and Leonie (under special circumstances) in addition to the SB characters. But like. That means on SB you get two axes (Caspar, Edelgard), two swordies (Shez, Petra), three mounted lances (Ferdie, Jeritza, Lorenz), one brawler (Raphael), four archers (Bernie, Ashe, Ignatz, Leonie), and eight magic units (Hubert, Dorothea, Linhardt, Monica, Manuela, Lysithea, Marianne, Mercedes). If you include the wolves you get ten. Ten magic users. What do I need ten of these guys for? What is this game’s obsession with mages (the Lions also had way too many, though it wasn’t this egregious and at least Annette can be a serviceable axe unit once she gets Crusher)?

Made even worse because there’s only two magic master classes, and only one magic master class per gender which means you’re going to be ending up with two dark bishops and eight gremories. You can’t equip tomes as a dark knight or holy knight either, you have to use the lance, which is not optimal for many of these mage units. No idea why they decided to take out Valkyrie and Dark Flier if they were going to create so many damn mages. Basically every other weapon type (aside from archers and brawlers) gets at least two different options for master classes, and there aren’t nearly as many archers and brawlers as there are mages.

I guess I’ll use Constance and Hapi more on GD, since at least they only come with Marianne and Lysithea to start

[random-french-girl]

Okey so I don't know the name of the friendship thing you do, maybe BroTP game or whatever that's called.

Also I don't know the rules (sorry, I'm not American and English is not my native language) But I loved Scylla x Tally one so can I ask for Scylla and Abigail one? Like they act like they hate each other but we all know that's the first step of them being best friends.

Anyways, thanks in advance. And please excuse my poor English.

Thank you, dear Anon! And please, never apologize for your English! I'm not a native speaker either :)

What in-jokes do they have with each other?

I don’t think they have in-jokes, unless you count “playfully insulting each other every chance we get to show our affection”. 

Are they the “I’ll pay this time if you pay next time”-type friends, or the “I’ll pay for my food and you’ll pay for yours”-type friends?

Ordinarily, Scylla wouldn't care, but Abigail activates her ego and her stubbornness Big Time, so she always insists on paying, or sharing the bill. Abigail's just like: "Don't be ridiculous." They argue for a while, Abigail usually ends up winning this particular fight, Scylla is very grumpy about it.

Who’s more prone to pranking, or otherwise messing with, the other?

Pranks, neither. Messing with each other? Both of them. Constantly.

How do they text/message each other? Proper punctuation and capital letters, egregious overuse of emojis, mostly in meme format…?

Not applicable! But I know, in my heart, that if she could Scylla would use only emojis, just to annoy Abigail. And it would work.

Do they exchange jokey birthday presents, or deeply thought-out and meaningful presents? Or both?

Only jokey, vaguely insulting gifts for a while (Abigail buys Scylla a book that’s called “Ethics for Dummies” or something. Scylla gives her a list of all accredited therapists in the area with a note that just says “first one’s on me <3″.) But then eventually they start giving each other real presents - very little things, but it’s nice. Abigail give Scylla a tiny succulent. Scylla gives her a box of fancy chocolates. They’re never going to be effusive in their gift-giving, but they Know each other enough to understand these small gestures mean a lot. 

They go on a road trip together. Who drives, who picks the music, who’s in charge of snacks?

They are insufferable on a road trip together. They can't agree on anything: not the directions, not who should drive, or when to stop, or what music to play, or the snacks. It’s either five hours of Tense Angry Silence, or five hours of Constant Bickering. They only behave if Raelle’s is the car with them. 

What do they think of each other’s family?

Oof, loaded question. Abigail has trouble, still, respecting Dodgers (but she’s getting there). Scylla still feels resentful of the Bellweather name (but she trusts Abigail, and respects Petra a bit more than she used to, and she’s also getting there). They’ve spent their childhood being told to despise everything about each other’s family, so it’s. Complicated. 

Do they have any nicknames for each other?

DO THEY EVER. The funniest thing is it starts as “necro” (derogatory) but now it’s “necro” (affectionate), and they won’t admit it, but everyone knows.

Who’d be the first to try and patch things up if they had a fight?

The real answer is: neither. Raelle and Tally stage an intervention and force them both to apologize and move on.

One of their phones goes off in the middle of the night. Who’s calling whom, and why?

Not really applicable.

What’s their favourite funny story about something that happened to the two of them?

They love the fact that they tried to kill each other that one time. It’s funny in retrospect, they promise.

Would they do a joint cosplay? If so, who would they dress up as?

NOPE.

Do they have any TV shows that they watch together? Are there any shows they have wildly different opinions on?

Not really. 

Which one is the “fight me” friend and which one is the one who tries to keep the peace and prevent their friend from punching a total stranger?

Abigail is the “fight me” friend, and Scylla has to be the voice of reason, a role she is NOT used to. Also they’re the kind of friends who’re like... if somebody else insults the other, or starts a fight, they’ll lose it. “Only I get to be mean to her!”

One of them comes up with an ill-advised but mostly harmless idea. Does the other one egg them on because they think it’ll be funny, or try and talk them out of it?

Scylla has terrible ideas, historically. Abigail would never try to talk her out of it, because where’s the fun in that?

Who would win if they arm-wrestled?

LOL Abigail, without a doubt.

Who’s better at what type of video games, and how competitive are they when they play together?

Abigail is very competitive. Scylla pretends she’s not, but she actually is. They both suck at video games cause they never played much, unfortunately.

One of them ends up in hospital for something serious but not life-threatening. What does the other bring along when they visit in order to cheer them up?

Abigail... brings Raelle to Scylla’s hospital room. Gives Scylla a little nod, that manages to convey “I know you need her more than anything else” and “I’m glad you’re okay”. And then promptly gets out.

How huggy are they?

Oh, not huggy at all. Except that one time they almost die, and Scylla just impulsively grabs Abigail, and hugs her, very tight, and Abigail is frozen for half a second before she reciprocates the hug, gingerly. They don’t move for a while. They never talk about it afterwards,  

What was the moment when they first realized that they’d become friends?

IT HAS NOT HAPPENED YET BUT SEASON 3 I’M COUNTING ON YOU.

[jolikmc]

@transienturl replied to your post “[Tumblr?] XKit Rewritten: The “New New””:

Oof, definitely bug report that "context invalidated" error on Github with any details you have! I'll look into that. Some of your list is in Rewritten already, by the way: quick tags shows up in the editor if you turn the beta post editor on, and turning off avatar sticky scrolling is in Tweaks! What does that small text one do? I've never head of that one before.

Upon double-checking… I see the option in Tweaks, after all.  Instead of "Stop avatars from scrolling along with the post", it's labeled as "Remove sticky effect from post avatars".  A little less clear, but yeah, it does the same thing! 👍 Regarding the Quick Tags thing… I absolutely, positively, 100% do not want to use the Beta Editor.  I use a lot of HTML in my posts on this blog and my writing blog, and the Beta Editor doesn't support that.  Ergo, I don't support them.  (:

Lastly… I honestly don't know what that "small text" thing does, either.  With the new Dashboard, I think all small text is formatted to one level regardless of how many <small> tags there are?  I'unno.

Oh, and yeah, I'll swing by the Github page and report that bug. I just need to remember my account info.  It's been sooo looong… Edit: Okay, no I won't.  I can't get it happen, anymore – not even with really old replies.  What the heckie?

(Also, unrelatedly, April was part of the New XKit team and was one of the main active developers before moving to this version, so I view it as more of a continuation than a separate project in some ways - just one that doesn't require you to un-break 9 year old code to get anything done!)

Oh, really?  Hm.  Wonder if I interacted with April, before?  I used to yell at the support Tumblr, now-and-then, about broken plugins and I even compiled a list of what did and didn't work under the new interface… which I sort of ignored for almost a year…  It's nice to know some of the old New XKit critters are still bangin' about~

[anchoviesinthenightsky]

It’s all about dry humor man.

But you had a podcast? Sometimes when you type in tags, the sentences get switch around

It really is lol

And I did/do! I'm not going to link it, because I'm not particularly proud of the first two episodes. It felt aimless to just... upload episodes infinitely. So I have a crumb of an idea for organizing seasons around a central theme, but I haven't had time to explore that idea yet.

The central question of the podcast is more or less "Do stories that ruminate about the end of the world increase the audience's resiliency to climate change or do they increase the audience's climate anxiety?"

And the way I examine that question is through looking at the way characters react to the apocalypse during the text and compare it to the APA's guidance for supporting individuals/ communities dealing with climate anxiety (which includes things like "build belief in one's own resiliency, foster optimism, promote mindfulness/coping techniques, promote connectedness to family/community/place/culture).

The idea is really to talk about climate anxiety, promote climate resiliency, and give the listeners a sense of what they can do on a personal level to manage their climate anxiety. But to do it in the sort of fun and silly way of where all of that is filtered through a discussion about, oh idk,.... Anna and the Apocalypse: A Zombie Christmas Musical (also my favorite zombie movie).

It's also an attempt to use reuse my thesis essays/ ideas, but part of why I've paused for so long was because I struggled with the podcast format. As an essay writer, I like to lay out a bunch of scenes/ quotes and push the reader to connect them together (almost like a found poem), but that's harder to do with a podcast. I end up feeling like I'm talking to my audience rather than guiding them through a series of ideas.

oof, that got really rambly. Apologies.

[acewlwtoast]

Freitag 15:30

OKAY SO BOUT THAT CLIP HUH

These are some notes I took while rewatching the new Clip earlier. These are just some things I’ve noticed and wanna get out there. WARNING there will be screaming.

Kieu My at the door: She didn't bring ramen but smth more personal

“Du kannst da deine Jacke aufhängen./You can hang your jacket there.” Kieu My just shoving her jacket somewhere ghsdfkjgsfkgb a mess I feel you

Kieu My taking off her shoes again, but this time Fatou isn’t (mildly) obsessively watching her

Fatou’s Papa is a cook and he STILL fucked up the goose on Christmas AND the children had to prepare most of the Christmas meal lmao

Kieu My coming in here so hopeful n shit gurl u gotta start begging

Her adressing her behaviour rightaway and trying for open communication like YES

Kieu My rambling and talking dumb details bout January 1st and not getting to the point, like she’s so nervous

FUCKING HOPE SHE'S HONEST IN FRONT OF HER STUPID FRIENDS NOW

“die Woche war für mich echt die Hölle/This week was hell for me”            -kinda feel like it's smth w the police stuff

also yes, this was definetely a hell week

THEY DIDNT TALK ABOUT HER TEXTS AT ALL IT MAKES ME ANGRY idk, but I feel like they were a big deal, and now they’re kinda being taken away from casual viewers :/ (this is also a general thing)

Kieu My trying to be respectful about Fatou wanting to do physics and actually attempting to start it, we love to see it

“Du wolltest mir doch helfen./Well, you wanted to help me.” -BIG OOF Kieu My’s look like “ouch okay yeah i deserved that.”

Kieu My like “cAn We eAt fiRsT” -Girl i see you tho, trying to ease up the situation. 

Also it was really her who said the I'm not good enough thing

“Kannst du auch kochen?/Can you cook as well?” -very subtle attempt at casually trying to find out more bout Fatou

ALSO KIEU MY REALLY LOOKING FOR A WIFE THAT CAN COOK FOR HER LMAO

Also SHE’S OPENING UP FIRST LIKE-

She puts pressure on herself just like Fatou

“Du bist doch gut/You are good tho" BRO FATOU SLIPPING

both their glances after that like “that happened-”

Kieu My’s desperate hand thing like broooo 

(ALSO NOT GONNA TALK BOUT HER FINGERNAILS BUT :EYES:)

“sorry das war dumm von mir./sorry, that was dumb.” - “ja” OOF OOF 2:0

Music starts and Kieu My’s leaving     me: NO IT CANT END HERE

(I seriously thought it would end i was so mad but Druck ain’t disappointing no homegirl)

Seeing fatous look like “Oh shit she gonna go after her GURL”

SHES SO DETERMINED AND GETTING UP I-

fuck Kieu My really seems like she was almost crying I wanna hug

Fatou just knows she ain't gonna get rid of that stupid idiot bi disaster

That kiss should be another whole thing

IMAGINE THEY WOULD HAVE USED THAT MACHO SONG AGAIN BAHAHAHA

also they’re both smiling i can die happily now

Also did Kieu My stumble backwards like girl really wasn't expecting that

Also her poking her with her nails like imagINE HER STILL HAVING HER ACRYLIC CLAWS (Fatou showing up in school next monday with an eyepatch)

FATOU IS DOING THE SHOULDER THING WHEN KISSING WAIT AAAAAH (no one’s ever talking bout it but I’m a sucker for that)

and Kieu My diving in for second kiss guys I'm totally ok

Not really as wet as last time (this is a joke in our server, just to point that out)

I know this is kind of a lot, but y’all can’t blame me for having many thoughts about that clip. idk how often I’m gonna do these, cos this format doen’t fit with all clips, but sometimes I have many thoughts XD

Bonus:

WAIT WHY ARE THEY SITTING SO FAR APART IN THE PROMO PIC THO PLS NOT MORE ANGST I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY AND OUT

[leadinglady17]

I Told You...

"Winwin, sit your skinny butt down," Kun cries after seeing his teammate attempting to twerk along to the Halloween remix of baby shark. You're all laughing when XiaoJun comes up behind him and knocks his knees out and he ends up sprawled on the floor. Winwin doesn't move except to crane his head back to look at who pushed him over.

"Yah, you're all just jealous of my immaculate dance moves," he says, the slight lisp to his words and light pink flush are the only giveaways that he'd been drinking tonight.

"Sure, gege. We're all definitely jealous," XiaoJun says after sitting down and setting the bottles of rice wine and soju on the floor in front of everyone. You were sitting between XiaoJun and Ten and across from Lucas, who was flanked by Yangyang and Kun, with Hendry next to him. Winwin had been sitting between Yangyang and XiaoJun. You were all relaxing after a grueling day of practice, thankful that you had the next day off to recoup. Winwin rejoins your little circle and demands shots for everyone, you throw your head back with the drink and meet Lucas’s eyes when you bring it back down. That was the third time you had caught him staring at you today, though staring might not be the right word this time. Glaring, yes glaring was more apt this time. You shrug it off and go back to playing around with the others and leaning against Ten. 

6 hours earlier

“Ahhh,” you shriek as Kun spins you around over his shoulder. “Put me down!” 

Kun continues to spin and laugh when you smack his back. You were taking a short break during practice, and you had been goofing off together when he tossed you over his shoulder. The others laugh at your antics and he sets you down after a few more spins. You have to grab his arm once you’re on solid ground again, feeling dizzy. That’s when he notices Lucas staring at you both.

“Come join us,” he calls out to him but Lucas just shakes his head and smiles slightly. About 10 minutes later, once everyone had returned, Ten called everyone to get back in formation to go through the routines again. Ten pushes you all hard, running through the routines 3 times each before allowing another short break before going through them again for another hour, sometimes stopping to guide another dancer if he saw them struggling, including you and if you were more flirty than usual that was nobody’s business. 

During the last run through everything you were watching the mirror when you happened to catch Lucas watching you. You make a face at him trying to get him to smile but he just looks away from you and focuses on his own steps. You don’t think anything of it and finish the last few counts. Finally Kun calls for the end and announces that you all have the next day off. Everyone lets out a cheer and begins to gather their belongings. Winwin was the one to suggest everyone going out and grabbing dinner or drinks. Half the team declined claiming exhaustion but you and a few others had agreed.

4 hours earlier

You couldn’t decide on dinner or drinks so you did both. Ten chose a Korean BBQ that was open late, a regular spot for your group after a grueling practice. The owner greeted you all and quickly had the meat and sides delivered, you made sure to get a seat next to Ten. Winwin ordered the first round of soju halfway through dinner. You’re about 3 glasses in when the owner comes over to tell you all that they were closing so Hendry suggests going back to the house to continue drinking and blowing off steam. Kun grabs your hand and pulls you down the sidewalk since the house was only a few streets over. You’re tipsy enough that you just giggle and go along with him, paying no attention to others yelling behind you. Unsurprisingly you reach the house first, followed closely by Yangyang and Ten arguing loudly and the rest of the guys laughing behind them. After kicking your shoes off you throw yourself down on the couch, not expecting the sudden weight that drops on top of you. 

“Oof, get off you cow.” Your voice comes out breathy due to the adult man currently crushing your lungs.

“Wow, y/n, that’s so hurtful,” Kun pouts. 

“I’m sure, but seriously you’re crushing me.” You attempt to push yourself up to unbalance him but he just continues to lay on you. “Yah! I’m dying!”

Kun laughs at your struggle and then adds to it by proceeding to tickle your sides. You shriek with laughter, arms flailing trying to smack his hands away.

“Kun-gege, get off her,” Lucas tries to intervene, no amusement in his voice. The leader ignores the other man and continues his onslaught. 

“Not until she apologizes,” Kun pauses for a moment to give you the opportunity to apologize. You quickly make amends and he lands a quick peck on your cheek and jumps up. You rush to get up, in case any of the others decide they want a turn at tormenting you. Kun slings his arm around you and gives you a cheeky smile while Lucas rolls his eyes and walks away. 

Present

After a few more rounds of shots, someone, you think it was Yangyang, called it quits and everyone agreed.

“Y/n, you can crash in my room tonight,” Ten offers as he helps you stand. 

“Thanks. We can cuddle if you want,” you tell him and send him a wink.

He chuckles at your drunk flirting, “Ah sorry, I’m going to share with Hendry,” he says, causing you to pout.

“Ooookaaaay, but you know where I’ll be if you change your mind.” You shuffle off to the bathroom to try to at least wash your face before crawling into the younger dancer’s bed. You’re about to open Ten’s door when a hand grabs your arm and pulls you into the room across the hall. 

“Did you really think I’d let you go after watching everyone touch you all night?”

----------------

“Lucas you could have just said she was yours. You didn’t need to keep me up all night proving it.” Hendry drawls. You can feel your face heat up realizing that he had heard you.

“Oh it wasn’t just you, pretty sure the whole house heard them,” Ten says walking into the kitchen already dressed for the day. 

“Well now you all know so keep your hands off,” Lucas says calmly while handing you a glass of orange juice. By now you were wishing the floor would open and swallow you.

“I’m heading out, I’ll be back before dinner. Text me if you want me to grab anything on the way home,” Ten says while walking out the door. After the longest breakfast ever, you and Lucas return to his room to cuddle and watch a movie until going out later. You find your phone under the bed and a message waiting,

I told you to leave my hoe alone… 😘

You realize immediately who Ten went to meet this morning.

[thefinalcinderella]

Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru Chapter 1 - The Residents of Chikusei-sou (Part 4)

It’s out

Full list of translations here

Translation Notes

1. Shindou is the reading for 神童 (prodigy) as well as 震動 (tremor, vibration)

2. 鯖 is the character for mackerel, with the fish radical on the left

3. Jizo or Kshitigarbha is a bodhisattva who is the guardian of children

4. Backchanelling means “ a sound or gesture made to give continuity to a conversation by a person who is listening to another.” The Japanese word is aizuchi which I couldn’t find a good way to explain in the text

5. Banchou Sarayashiki is a ghost story with several versions, all of which involve a servant, 10 dishes, and broken trust. I think the version referred to in this chapter is the folk version where a beautiful servant is blamed and killed for breaking one of ten dishes, and came back as a ghost counting the dishes

6. King says 住人が十人 (juunin ga juunin)

Previous | Next

Musa Kamara parted with Kiyose at Chikusei-sou's entryway and climbed the stairs to the second floor to return to his room.

When he had just arrived here last spring, he had been terribly anxious about living in a wooden house, and he had been nervous walking in the hallway. In his hometown, the house where his family lived was a colonial Western style house made of stone. He couldn't imagine things like thin walls that allowed you to hear people talking from next door or narrow hallways that made even passing by someone difficult.

But now, Musa loved the building Chikusei-sou itself, and its residents who were in the same generation as him.

Musa thought about Kakeru, who he was introduced to in the bathroom of the main house. He hoped he would able to get along well with Kakeru. Musa recalled his quick and nimble movements, like he did some kind of sport, and how he looked at Musa with a slightly bewildered look, and his determined eyes. No doubt, Musa thought, no doubt Kakeru will also fit in here quickly.

The door to Room 202, which was in the middle of the three rooms on the left side of the hallway and just before Musa's room, was slightly open. He passed by and peeked inside. The resident of this room was Sakaguchi Youhei, a fourth-year sociology student, and the one who lived in Room 205, which faced Musa's room, was Sugiyama Takashi, a third-year business student. They were watching TV together.

"Good evening."

Musa greeted them because he felt like talking to someone. The two in the room turned around. "Oh, come in," they carefreely urged.

He was served with a can of beer with water droplets on it, and he sat in seiza on the tatami.

"King-san, are you watching quiz shows again?"

Looking at the celebrities pushing buzzer buttons in the cathode-ray tube, Musa was a little bit shocked. Sakaguchi of Room 202 had a pastime of watching all the quiz shows, even recording them. At Chikusei-sou, he was called King with some teasing. It had the meaning of "Quiz King."

"'Course I am."

As he said that, King violently hit the tissue box placed close at hand. And then, "The Baths of Caracalla!"

He shouted the answer to the question at the TV in a loud voice. The tissue box was his substitute for a buzzer.

"I never get bored when I watch a quiz show with King-san."

Sugiyama laughed, encouraging Musa to drink bear with his hand. "He makes incredible reactions."

Sugiyama's nickname was "Shindou." At first, Musa felt suspicious as to why this person with such a quiet way of speaking was called "Tremor." (1) Shindou had immediately told him, "You're mistaken."

"I was born in a village deep in the mountains. It takes two days for me to make my homecoming. Oh, do you know 'homecoming'?"

"Yes, I do. But does it really take you two days? Even when I go back to my home country, it takes about a day to fly from Japan to there."

"Oof, so I come from a place that's farther than your hometown timewise? I'm seeing how deep in the hinterlands my village is once again. Oh, you know what 'hinterlands' mean?"

"I do not know that. Does it mean rural?"

"Yes, exactly. In that village, I'm called 'Shindou.' Well, just a local one, anyways. Oh, 'shindou' has the meaning of 'child of the gods'…"

The residents of Chikusei-sou mostly spoke to Musa in rapid slang without any consideration for him. In the first place, Musa had an intermediate or higher level of Japanese proficiency, but he was at a loss with slang. Only Shindou carefully explained the slang he didn't know and the difficult words for him. Thanks to him, Musa had come to be able to speak Japanese more and more comfortably. Even so, since he was following the example of the well-mannered and gentlemanly Shindou, he tried to avoid using the slang he learned as much as possible. Nico-chan, who lived on the first floor, sometimes laughed that "I can't feel on edge with Musa's language."

While drinking beer, Musa watched the quiz show for a while.

Only King, the twins, and Nico-chan had TVs in Chikusei-sou. Because the smoke pollution in Nico-chan's room is awful, they rarely approached there. King watched quiz shows endlessly. That was why when there was a show they wanted to watch, they generally went to the twins' room.

Even now, they could hear the sounds of the TV from the twins' room, but no sounds of talking. Apparently, they were spend in the night quietly with just the twins without being disturbed by the noisy senpais.

Without getting bored, King continued to hit the tissue box and answer questions from outside the cathode-ray tube. And then as soon as it turned to commercial, he fast forwarded through it with the remote control on hand. Is this a video? Musa noticed for the first time.

The commercials quickly flew past, and then the show came back on again. This time, it wasn't a corner with a quick buzzer format. King finally averted his consciousness a little bit away from the TV.

"Hey, Musa. Shindou is keeping quiet and watching the quiz show. It's unbelievable."

Unsure of what he was saying, Musa tilted his head. King turned all the way around to face Musa and Shindou, who were sitting next to each other.

"When you're watching a quiz show, wanting to answer the questions is human nature. It's like, 'Writing 青 with the left fish radical becomes…?' 'Mackerel!' (2) And yet he's keeping quiet. There's no competition here."

"King-san, you shout out the answers even when you're watching by yourself."

Musa said, as he thought about hearing King shouting out contextless words night after night from the room next door.

"Of course I do. That's what quiz shows are for. I really don't get guys who just watch stiffly like Jizo." (3)

Is that so, Musa thought.

"Is that so?"

Shindou said aloud, objecting. "I think it is you who's in the minority, King-san. I have no idea how you can get so fired up when you aren't even a contestant."

"Why don't you try apply for the program as a contestant?" Musa interjected.

King visited quiz websites on the Internet and enthusiastically tackled quiz questions everyday. He was so devoted to quizzes that he even stepped into the smoke hell that everyone was afraid of to borrow Nico-chan's computer. Surrounding him from a distance, the residents of Chikusei-sou watched over his passion for taking quizzes.

"Answering questions faster, more accurately, and more than the famous quiz kings from outside the screen is the way of enjoyment for true connoisseurs."

King puffed up with pride. King seemed bold and shameless, but he actually had social anxiety, so he couldn't appear on television or anything like that. Musa, who became aware of that, didn't say anything more. Shindou also gently backchanneled with "Is that so." (4)

King seemed a bit awkward, so Musa decided to provide a new topic.

"Do you two already know that a new person has come to Aotake?"

"When did they get here?!"

"What kind of person are they?"

The two instantly bent their bodies forward. King even lowered the TV volume. It seemed that it was quite an interesting topic for him and Shindou. Musa was pushed by the momentum and told them about meeting Kakeru in the bath.

"I believe he just arrived tonight. Haiji-san says he's enrolled in the sociology program. Haiji-san seemed happy."

"I have a bad feeling about this," King muttered.

"Why is that? Kakeru seems like a serious and good person."

"The character of the newcomer is not what King-san is worried about," Shindou explained. "You know about it too, right, Musa? About how Haiji-san is eager to have Room 103 filled."

"Yes, but what about that?"

"That's the point." King put an elbow on his crossed legs and affectedly stroked his chin with his palm. "Musa, you must also have kept hearing it since spring. Haiji muttering 'Just one more, just one more…' like 'Banchou Sarayashiki.'" (5)

"What is a Ban-chou Sara-ya-shiki?"

"That's a—"

Cutting off Shindou before he could tell him, King came to a conclusion.

"There's definitely something going on. Haiji is plotting something."

"Why is it so important to him that ten people live in Aotake?"

Shindou tilted his head, thinking. King solemnly began his deduction.

"This is my fourth year living here, but ten tenants…that just now wasn't a pun." (6)

"I understand. Continue."

"There has never been ten people living here. That's because there are only nine rooms here."

"That's right."

"However, this year is different. It was decided that the twins will have Room 201. And then, Haiji started chanting like a phantom. 'Just one more.'"

"It's true that Haiji-san seemed fixated on ten people."

Musa also nodded. Kiyose would probably be dispassionate and not show much emotion no matter what turmoil occurred in Chikusei-sou. However, this year, it could be seen almost too easily that he was worrying over whether or not there would be a tenant in the vacant Room 103. Musa had also wondered what was that about, and thought it was strange.

"What exactly is going to happen when there are ten people?"

"No idea."

Despite the conversation he started, he threw his suspicions away quite easily. "Maybe a ghost counting plates will show up."

"You were the one who kept going on about how 'there must be something, there must be something,' so how about thinking about it a bit more?"

Shindou complained at King, who had pulled out of the conversation and was once again absorbed in the TV. However, King was already preoccupied with the quizzes and only returning vague responses. Musa and Shindou discussed Kiyose's intentions for a while, but unable to come to a definite conclusion before very long and ended it.

Room 202 fell into silence for a short while.

Even the TV was waiting for the answer of the quiz contestant with an exaggerated pause. King murmured, "At any rate, if it's the case that something bad happens to us, Haiji will let us know. He's naggy and makes snide comments when you skip cleaning the toilets, but well, other than that, he's a good guy."

That's exactly right, Musa thought. It was impossible that Kiyose would do anything that trap the residents of Chikusei-sou into a difficult situation.

Musa did not have a "bad premonition." That was because the Kiyose he met just earlier seemed quite happy. About as happy as when Musa saw snow piling up for the first time in his life last year.

Previous | Next

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #282

“daddy’s flown across the ocean / leaving just a memory / a snapshot in the family album / daddy, what’d you leave behind for me?”

What is your favorite type of dance? I like modern dances, especially those unusual or creepy with unique music. They’re the dances I look forward to watching in dance competitions. Do you find making scenes in public fun? Oh fuck no. Lemonade or pink lemonade? Pink is Supreme in so many ways. Where do you feel safest? At home, especially if Mom is here. Have you ever been to a gay pride parade? No, but I’d love to. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? No. I don’t want to move to Africa. What do you like to do when you're home alone? HAHA okay so I almost exclusively watch Unus Annus when Mom isn’t home because I will almost without a doubt cackle at least once, and… explaining why I’d be laughing would be WILD. UA is a fucking gift & I’mma miss it when it’s gone. What kind of music calms you down? My best bet is nostalgic music that I hold very close, like Ozzy. The soundtracks to SotC and SH2 are also magical when it comes to soothing me. Who did you last go to a park with? Uhhhh… probably not since I took family pictures for someone. Got some nice ones. Have you ever been robbed? Thankfully, no. Are you working, a student, both, or neither? Neither, and at nearly 25, it’s fucking humiliating. I’m thinking of appealing my disability case (you very rarely get it the first time), but of course self-doubt and anxiety just slaps me across the face again and again by asking, “Do you really need it?” That shit is agonizing. Very highly regarded people in my life agree that it’s realistic for me, at least at this moment, while I sort out my mental health. I don’t plan on being on it forever, fuck no. But right now I am, no matter what anyone says, a leech in my home. What's your favorite holiday? Christmas. I prefer Halloween’s “vibe,” of course, but I am much more excited and just thankful at Christmastime, especially now as an aunt with children who *understand* the holiday. Their joy and excitement is enough of a gift to me. It’s always really hard on Mom because she’s convinced she doesn’t do enough (she cries at least once like… every year), but my sisters and I always reassure her. It’s also a nice opportunity to see Dad and my stepmom, also with my sister’s family, and once again we get to see the kids so happy. But enough about them; what I love most about Christmas is I generally am able to put my troubles into perspective and take the time to remember I am, in the big picture, lucky to have what and who I do. And SNOW!!!!! If you can’t tell I’m stoked for Christmas. Do you prefer male or female friends? Both are great, but I’m more relaxed with female friends because of the whole “scared of men” ordeal. What's your favorite dessert? Biiiiihhhhh lemme get my hands on ice cream. Do you ever go on chatroulette or omegle? Noooo, I never did. That shit creeps me out. Besides, I’m shy. What kind of tea do you drink? None. Do you know anyone in a gang? Not to my knowledge… What color is your fridge? White. We decided to use the fridge already in this house versus our old one. Is your phone mostly on vibrate, silent, or ringtone? It’s just about always on vibrate. Do you own black sunglasses? I don’t own any sunglasses. Are you currently looking for a job? Fuck if I know. Not actively, but if something suitable magically popped up, I’d definitely pursue it. Do you watch MTV? No. Do you like to tell people who you like? Historically, I tend to keep my mouth shut about it to people who know that love interest unless explicitly asked, and even then, it depends on if I think they’ll keep their mouth shut. How often do you braid your hair? It’s too short to be braided. I very rarely had it braided beforehand. What color is your microwave? Black. Do you wash your face in the morning when you wake up? If I remember, especially if I’m groggy. Are you interested in the ocean? No more or no less than the average person. What's a big turn on for you? Keeping physical stuff outta this, I’m just such a fuckin sucker for being authentically romantic lmao. Have you ever thought about being a teacher? Heeeeeelllllll no. What's the first thing you do when you turn your computer on? Close out of the stuff that automatically pops up after it starts. Do you drink Gatorade? Ugh, ew, no. Do you hate when people replace 0's with O's? EX: 9:OO AM. Lol no, it’s honestly aesthetically pleasing in some formats. Did you hate riding the bus? Some of my best school memories are the long bus rides home w/ Jason so uh- Do you ever use XOXO in texts, letters etc..? Nah. Has anyone ever told you they liked you to your face? Yeah. Have you ever touched an elephant? No. Reading or writing? Writing. Do you have a childhood nickname? Mom called (and sometimes still does lakjdf;alkwe) me “Twinkie.” She gave sweets-oriented nicknames to all her kids. Have you ever had a Moon Pie? UGH they’re gross. I have this faint memory as a kid of a sweetheart babysitter my sisters and I had always offering us banana moon pies as a snack or dessert, idr. I’ve always hated anything banana-flavored. Has your car ever had troubles? N/A What's your birthstone? Amethyst. Would you join the navy? I want nothing to do with anything remotely related to war. What's your favorite board game? Battleship. Do you like chess? I’ve never played it nor even know the rules. If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for first trying it? I was absolutely parched after a long, sweaty walk and was offered it to “try” by my mom without me knowing it was alcohol… the “WAIT NO STOP” from everyone was so quick lmao. It was just hard lemonade, so nothing super serious. Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectantly turned up pregnant right this second? I probably would. There is no fucking way I can emotionally handle carrying a baby right now. But I’d feel like absolute shit, even though I’m pro-choice. I just don’t want to picture myself in that situation. Is there a situation where you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? Probably. Although generally, I’m very resilient to peer pressure when it comes to something I really don’t want to do. What is your favorite video game console? Why? PS2, of course. I think the best games came from that era, many ahead of their time. Example, the original Shadow of the Colossus graphics massively pressured the limits of the software, and it still to this day blows me away. Sure, you have some lag in return, but the end result was just magnificent. I seriously, seriously, seriously hope I’m able to play the remake one day. When you lost your virginity, were you sober? I was. As of this minute, what is going through your mind? How I need a change and purpose in life so motherfucking badly. Where’s the last place you went? I was riding around with Mom, doing some errands. Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yes. When was the last time you went apple picking? Never. Do you have a good relationship with your cousins? We don’t really… have a relationship. We don’t talk, we just kinda “exist” knowing we’re related. What was the last kids movie you saw? I watched some of Hotel Transylvania 3 with my niece and nephew. Do you know anyone who was born in Africa? When I was still in college, there was at least one guy in my class who was. Tutored me in math. Patience of a saint, haha. Have you ever been to an internet cafe? I actually have zero clue what that is. Has the year gone quickly for you so far? I’ve barely discerned 2018-2020, if I’m being honest with you. It’s just a lump of time where I’ve done jack-all. I mean yeah, school fits in there somewhere, but mentally I wasn’t in a wonderful place and haven’t been “happy” for a long time. My mental state has been the same for a few years. How many siblings does your significant other have? N/A Are you one of those people who can drink vodka straight? Oh, I hiiiighly doubt it. I loathe the taste of alcohol. Do you share a middle name with any of your friends? I legitimately have one of the most basic white bitch middle names in America, I know tons. How many pairs of jeans do you own? None. Do you know the name of the pharmacist at your local drug store? One, yes, considering Mom worked there before the cancer and is still in touch with this pharmacist. What flavor is your toothpaste? Mint. Are you sleepy right now? I think I’m permanently sleepy. Do you like crime films and tv shows? Not especially. Are you bitter about anything? Many things. What was the first online account you remember having? Neopets. My older sister helped me set it up when I was somewhere around eight. Do you use emojis? More than I used to. I’m gradually converting from emoticons to emojis, oof. What was the last type of soda you drank? Mountain Dew. Do you remember much from high school? I probably remember too much from high school, if I’m being honest. I remember far too much in far too much detail during the almost four years I dated Jason. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Probably the Bahamas, mostly for the pink beaches, aha. It would also be an incredible photography opportunity. Do you know anyone who has a strong accent that is hard to understand? My former best friend’s dad was so southern that yes, I could barely understand him whatsoever. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? If you mean a fresh, new one and not a glow-up on the Mark tribute tat I’ve mentioned five thousand times, a tribute to Teddy featuring his portrait, pawprint, and the Powerwolf lyrics “and we’ll meet where the wild wolves have gone.” I’m going to be picky as a motherfucker about the design itself, though, so realistically it probably wouldn’t be tomorrow since I’d probably commission people to draw in varying styles. Ugh, I need that tattoo gun, my man. What was the last podcast you listened to? Do you listen to it regularly? That would be 4 Peens in a Pod (it’s… not a porn I swear, it’s Fischfuck and the boys lmao). I’m waaaaaaaaaaay behind on it, though. I watch so many different things now that I’m behind on like… everything I watch/listen to. Are you on a first-name basis with your boss? (or last boss if unemployed) I think I was with all of them? What was the last thing you wrote in a Word document? This survey. Because I combine short ones into Big Boys that I usually don’t finish in one go, I save my progress on it. Who do you miss and what do you miss about them? I miss a number of people and would rather not retrospect on them. What were the best and worst costumes you’ve ever worn? *shrug* Do you know anybody who is gay and married? I think so. What did you last take painkillers for? A headache. Are there any hobbies you want to get back into? Ugh. A whole fucking lot. I’ve thought quite a bit recently on how I miss video editing, but I just don’t have the motivation and dedication for that anymore. Have you ever shared a home with a friend? Yes. What’s the craziest or weirdest place you’ve ever slept? Nowhere that strange at all… Probably just like, the floor, but even then with blankets and stuff. What did you have for lunch today and who made it? I haven't had lunch yet. Are you allergic to anything? How did you find out? Pollen is pretty obvious, while serious discoloring and itching let me know I was allergic to silver. Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? Yeah, I was visiting her for a couple weeks. It was nice. Who was the last very physically attractive person you saw? In ~real life~, probably some friend on Facebook. Do you know anyone who is deaf? We recently found out actually that my youngest niece is deaf in her left ear due to a massive buildup of fluid in it. I’m so ready to hear about her reaction to hearing normally once it’s taken care of. Has there ever been a person you regret ever being friends with? Probably at some point. “Ever” makes this question difficult. Do you think you have a good understanding on love? Yes. What do you think of your parent(s)? I love them both immensely while acknowledging their flaws. What celebrity do you think should of never become famous? I don’t care enough to think on this honestly haha. Did you ever get into the Twilight saga craze? What about the Harry Potter craze? Neither. What's your opinion about Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl"? It was bold for its time, for sure. I’ve never minded it. Actually since coming out as bi I’ve known that this song has to be included in the recession dances of my wedding if my partner is female lmao. Do you believe in heaven? If so, what's it like? If not, why? I hope there’s some sort of total bliss after death if you’re deserving of such, but I don’t know. I definitely don’t know how I actually picture it. Even if there’s not, well, I’m assuming I just won’t exist anymore, so I wouldn’t be able to care anyway. Sometimes I hope that's the case. What email service do you use for your main (or only) email account? Hotmail. Did you ever believe in the Tooth Fairy? Yeah. I remember there was one time where “she” didn’t trade my tooth for munz and I was so mad lmao. Mom apparently forgot and slipped something under the pillow while I was getting ready for school. How I fell for it, who knows man, kids are wild. How do you feel about Taco Bell? I’m not a Mexican food fan, really, but I do love their cheese (with or without chicken) quite a bit. The cinnamon bite things are bomb as FUCK, too. I’m still mad tilted they took potato products off their menu tho because I used to destroy the fiesta potatoes. How often do you go on to YouTube? I’m like… always on it. Not focusing on it at all times, but something’s in the background. Back when Spongebob Squarepants was famous, were you interested in it? Well of course, man. What's your dream pet? Ugggghhhh a sunset morph ball python, probably. Buuut I’ve seen some over $2k with their rarity. More realistically, I really, really want a Brazilian Black tarantula. And an arctic morph hognose. I want a lot of pets. ;_; Who's been your favorite teacher growing up, and why? God, I have a lot, honestly. All things considered, the answer is probably Miss Tobey, who was my physical science teacher in high school. She’s an extremely close family friend now involved regularly in my family’s lives. She can be… difficult and says shit before thinking, but we love her nevertheless. What's your favorite fairy tale? Fuck outta here if you say Shrek isn’t one. Do you have a favorite pen? Uh, no… I barely ever use pens anyway. Has a child ever asked you a question you found difficult to answer? Yeah; it happens sometimes with my niece and nephew. Name five books you've read in the past year. I think I’ve read the first three Wings of Fire book within the same year, and I’m currently on the forth. Other than those, I started The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, but only got through the prologue I think before my focus shifted onto WoF. I still plan on reading it at some point, though. ^Are any of those books your favorite? No. The prequel to The Testaments, The Handmaid’s Tale, is very high up there, though. Are you a person that enjoys re-reading books? Not at all. Once I read it once, I’m done. There are VERY few books I’ve reread, and most of those were children’s books from when I was little. Do you have a favorite talk show host? Don’t watch any. Which sounds the most refreshing: a hot shower or a cold one? I prefer hot showers unless I seeeeeriously need to cool down. Have you ever made your own soap? No. Can you sleep with socks on? UGH NO. When was the last time you were pissed beyond belief and why? Ummm good question. I don’t know about *that* mad. Maybe when Ashley’s mother-in-law shared a massively homophobic article that condoned conversion therapy on Facebook that resulted in me removing her from my friends and RAGING to my mom about it. That was forever ago, though. Do you have a favorite candle brand? No. What is your opinion on taxidermy? I have… very mixed feelings. If the animal was hunted for sport, then it’s fuckin disgusting; you literally killed an animal with the intention to show off the fact you’re a goddamn murderer. On the other hand, taxidermy of naturally-deceased animals can be educational, and even… artistic sometimes? I don’t know. I can’t really pick one stance over the other. Would you ever want to own a body part in a jar? Actually, yes, particularly of fetal animals (that WERE NOT killed for the sake of displaying), but for the same reasons above, I’m not sure if I would *really* do it. They are incredibly interesting to me, more so than taxidermy probably, but yeah, I still question the morality of it. What is the worst thing you have ever done to your own hair? I don’t think I’ve ever really done a “bad” thing to my hair. What qualities of yours do you think could potentially harm a relationship? I’m very clingy and, in the beginning, very paranoid that you’re going to leave. Have any of your childhood habits carried over into adolescence/adulthood? I had AWFUL separation anxiety from my mom for a very long time as a kid, and I guess that evolved into my extreme inability to handle loss well, maybe. I’d say they’re at least somewhat related. What is the first band that comes to mind when I say 'dark'? Cradle of Filth popped up first. As far as relationships go, what are your biggest deal-breakers? Abuse, arrogance, and distrust probably top the list. Be honest: do looks really matter to you? Nah. It’s nice to be physically attracted to my partner, but it’s not a must. Have you ever done something simply because you were of age? No. Do you think it's worth it to tell someone you had feelings for them when you don't have them anymore? I mean, what’s the situation? Are you hanging out, talking about relationships casually? I’d say it’s fine then if it’s relevant to the conversation. I don’t think it’s worth going out of your way to tell someone you liked them if you don’t anymore, though. Have you ever done something you once thought you'd be too chicken to do? Y’know that ride at fairs where you go up really high on a circular thing with other people and then drop abruptly? That. I screamed like a mf lmao. I had to put a lot of effort into not yelling “SHIIIIIIIIIIIT” lmao. What's a food you love but don't get to eat very often? Stuff involving shrimp, ig. What's your favorite mythical being? Dragons! Have you ever felt a baby kick? I don’t think so, and I don’t want to, considering it’s fucking terrifying to me. I can’t even see a baby move without screaming and wanting to hurl. When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? Who the fuck knows… What is the worst thing you've ever done when you were really angry? Said things I shouldn’t have. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? A lot. I can’t be bothered to go through all of them. At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? I’m not sure. Do you feel that way around anyone now? I don’t think so. What is your main heritage? German or Irish, idr which is more prominent. What is a song that you hate to admit you like? “Bitches” by Hollywood Undead came to me first lmao. What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? More than anything, watching inspirational YouTube videos. What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? I suppose maybe my ears? I had tubes put in as a kid, I had an absolutely agonizing ear infection once, I had earwax adhered to my eardrum, and they've always been STUPID dry and flaky. Are you watching your weight? Like a hawk, but it doesn’t seem to matter anyway. :^) Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? Most of my closest friends I’ve met online. What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen? You’re asking the wroooong person, lol. I’ve just seen way too many… Have you ever created anything artistic that you're proud of? If so, what? Lots of things; drawings, some writing, photographs, video edits… What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? Just ketchup and mustard. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? Sex. What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? MEERKATS and MARK What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? Tell me I’m weak. Or that my mental illnesses truly do make me unlovable. Just essentially do fucking not make me feel what Jason did. What is the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally? Said some extremely mean and potentially scarring shit.

[fuck-customers]

Oh boyyyyy today was a day, sorry about the formatting mobile is oof sometimes. So when I'm submitting this it's Oct 27th, and it's a Sunday. Our Sundays are super fucking busy bc idk god hates me and wants me to suffer.

So I tend to work in back booth doing drive thru things but get ping ponged A Lot. At one point I run out of $1 bills but it's so busy I just get yote a stack of $50 in ones and they tell me to bring up the money when I have a chance.

So when I finally do ALL my managers+my GM are busy as fuck and idk what to do with this $50. GM says to put the money in my pocket and I go nope nu uh no way I get it but ABSOLUTELY NOT.

A) i am paranoid in the clinical sense and am absolutely terrified despite her telling me to do it I'll be fired or worse and B) I have ADHD+Autism and the memory capacity of your local walnut on a good day (and today having been running on 2-3hrs of sleep. Not a good day) I Will leave with that $50 and not remember and I WILL get in trouble and it WILL not be a good situation for anyone involved.

So I put it nice and safe in the office. And then after my shift I get a call i miss and then a text asking where the $50 went. Oh Shit Oh Jesus I Am Going To Be Fired And Then Thrown In Jail goes me and eventually it's found exactly where I left it and I'm let off with a mild warning.

But honestly I'm still rattled and like ?? I know I should have listened to my GM bc ofc you don't want that much money floating around but why MY pocket and not HERS? I'm not high ranking on the anything and she's the general manager?? Like it makes more sense for her to have it on her person if that's something Absolutely necessary???

[imuybemovoko]

I die inside while dissecting Jesus music, part 3

Yep. Doing this shit again. It might take me a hot minute to write this one up, but I’ll get it done sooner or later. 

This one gets a bit more fucky than usual, so here’s a few (US) suicide hotline numbers and a rather serious trigger warning. If you’re going to have a hard time with religious trauma, weird indirect forms of suicidality, and that kind of thing, go read something more wholesome. Practice self care better than I do. For the love of all you hold holy, my thoughts are less important than your well-being. Do not read this if it’ll hurt you to do so.

National suicide prevention lifeline:  1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 The Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741-741 Trans Lifeline:  1-877-565-8860

I’ve looked through my playlist trying to find a song that I don’t remember as being repetitive as fuck. There are artists out there who don’t make their shit sad and modular for church camps and I was at least somewhat into their stuff. There are also older hymns. The playlist is mostly full of that weird shitty contemporary Christian music, but somewhere nestled in between stacks of almost painfully similar songs from Hillsong (they’re not all samey, but they get pretty repetitive) is Audrey Assad’s Even Unto Death. 

At first glance, listening back, it seems to have some of the same formatting elements as the shitty modern-styled songs I’ve gotten tired of, but it gives me a very different vibe for a few reasons. First, Assad’s general body of work as I can find it on Youtube (and is also stored in my playlist) is largely older hymns, and that’s her general style. This song is, as far as I can tell, an original work, but its instrumental and melodic style is heavily influenced by the vibe that older hymns give off. Second, the bridge is more varied and interesting than that of Even So Come or Gracefully Broken. The song does, in the final bridge and in the choruses, engage in some repetition, but at a level that I find far closer to what’s typical in secular music. Third, the melody reminds me somewhat of old hymns in a way I don’t know exactly how to describe. I just imagine it with piano and SATB choir. Most modern Christian music just doesn’t land like that. But for the trauma, I’d say analyzing this song might end up being a breath of fresh air. 

But for the trauma...

Anyway. Here are the lyrics, and here is the video again. 

The song is formatted in a way that’s nearly typical of a pop song. You have a verse (in this case composed of “Jesus”, two lines of bullshit, “Jesus” again, and two more lines of bullshit), a three line chorus repeated twice, a second verse (same format), the chorus again but this time with a more personal form of address on the second time through, the bridge (which Genius divides into four distinct sections) with some repetitions of the final lines, the chorus again, and an outro that’s basically just some repetitions of lines in the chorus and then “Jesus” and the first line of bullshit from the first verse, twice. 

So let’s get into this.

First verse:

Jesus The very thought of You It fills my heart with love Jesus You burn like wildfire And I am overcome

Alright. These lines are (clearly) addressed towards Jesus. (Speaking to him directly is a thing people do.) The song has a bit of a mix of a romantic bent and something a... little bit weirder, and both are starting to become visible in this first verse. The first couplet is like... straightforward. The singer is very in love with Jesus and even thinking of him makes her feel things. She’s not quite doing a John Donne here, I don’t think, but this is a pretty strong thing and this is part of why I say there’s a romantic bent to this. The second stanza contains that “fire” imagery that’s often associated with the Christian god, most often the Holy Spirit, that serves the purpose of showing how believers’ whole beings should be consumed by God. Then she says “I am overcome”. This reads to me like one of those “this makes me feel things to a degree I don’t know what to do with” kind of things, but there’s an element of what I’ll describe as a conquest narrative here. ...Again, not quite doing a John Donne, but not not doing it either. 

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend; That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new. 

Next comes the chorus, and I think it bears mention now rather than somewhere strange like I’d normally do it because this verse flows right into it. 

Lover of my soul Even unto death With my every breath I will love You

It plays through this twice. 

Gives me the same kind of vibe as Job 13:15 here.  “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.” The difference here is Assad’s song mentions love, which I guess goes beyond trust. So it’s even a bit crazier, and the “with my every breath” thing is the absolute kicker. This means she’s wanting to do literally everything, literally everything, in a way that expresses her love for Jesus. Extreme sentiments like this aren’t uncommon in song, sure, but given that we’re discussing Christianity... 

it’s not just hyperbole, they actually think this way and it’s very fucking toxic.

Also the chorus is the main reason I say this has a romantic bent. “Lover of my soul” is a fucking juicy lyric. 

Jesus You are my only hope And You, my prize shall be Jesus You are my glory now And in eternity

I think this second verse is mostly straightforward too. Literally just “Jesus is the entire source of my hope and I see him as a prize for whatever I’m doing” and “Jesus is my glory now and forever”. Glory here refers to like... honor and magnificence. In Christian parlance it refers to the condition that believers will be in after the world is overthrown by Jesus and me and all my fellow non-believing sexual deviants get hyucked straight into the eternal fire. It’s just like... shorthand for being “cleansed of sin” or whatever and living with God for eternity. I don’t know what circles Assad is active in; she might have a different take on this than I’m inclined to, but honestly given my understanding of this concept that’s primarily fueled by Protestant views and especially Evangelicalism, I’m inclined to read this as an empty threat.

Oof.

Onto the bridge. 

I notice now that the bridge has essentially two main sections. Genius says four; that’s a weird choice to me because each section they label is not doing a separate thing, but the two I see, based more on the repetition of the last two lines of each stanza and the similarity of the sentiment in the first half of each, very much are.The first chunk of it goes like this:

In my darkest hour In humiliation I will wait for You I am not forsaken

The idea here is that even in the darkest hour of their life or humiliating moments, the singer is trusting in God to get them through it and like... idk, remedy their humiliation or make it worthwhile somehow? This serves as a reminder that God hasn’t left even if it looks like he might’ve. 

Genius does a bit of a fucky-wucky here in the second section. They replace “though” with “oh”. I’m not sure how they could’ve messed this up, the video they link is literally the same lyric video that I linked, produced by Assad’s literal official artist channel, and the video shows this section the way I do below.

Though I lose my life Though my breath be taken I will wait for You I am not forsaken

This second chunk is more of the same “even if this destroys me I’ll trust you God”. Job 13:15 again, basically. Again, not hyperbole, they actually aspire to this. It’s not healthy at all. This first half of the bridge is basically just “haha I’m devoted to this relationship to the point of self-betrayal and inaction.” 

Oof.

Second half:

One thing I desire To see You in Your beauty You are my delight Yeah, You are my glory

So this third section is basically just inserting verse 2 into the bridge in slightly different words, but the role it plays here, juxtaposed so much more directly with the extreme, self-betraying devotion expressed in the first half of the bridge, is more as a declaration that Jesus is the only thing that truly matters to the singer. Like the entire vibe here is “this life doesn’t even matter to me, yeet this body and idgaf, just let me go see Jesus.” I think I mentioned in a previous post, I think another one of these depression-spiking jesus song dissections,  that this kind of mindset leads to what I’ll describe as a soft form of suicidality in which someone desires death by way of yelling at people for Jesus in places where that’s dangerous to do. If the singer’s only real desire is to see Jesus, then they’re very much at risk for this. Which prompts the question...

Is Audrey Assad okay?

You my sacrifice Oh, Your love is all consuming You are my delight Yeah, You are my glory Yeah, oh You are my glory God, yeah You are my glory Yeah

So aside from the “sacrifice” line here, which I’ll get to, this whole thing is more of the same. All-consuming love, Jesus is her delight, blah blah. The sacrifice thing refers to the crucifixion and to the framework Christianity posits by which blood needs to be spilled so that God can decide not to fucking yeet someone into an unending fire hole and that Jesus came to be the final perfect sacrifice so that no one needs to stab a goat or whatever the fuck again. 

After this there’s the chorus and the outro that’s basically just the end of the chorus and then the first two lines repeated a bit, you know, just as this last little reminder that dying is ok if it’s for Jesus. 

Which I guess is the overarching message of this song too. Dying is fun if it’s for Jesus, kids! Also let’s definitely not do a John Donne! 

I feel like I reference that poem a lot. But it goddamn fits. Like terrifyingly well. I think the reason I latched onto that poem so hard when I learned about it in my literature survey course last fall is because, minus the borderline sexual nature of Donne’s thoughts here, it maps onto my own experience very goddamn hard. I went far enough into Assad’s self-betraying devotion to God for a while there that I fantasized about dying for Jesus in a country where that’s likely. Suicide by martyrdom, if you will. 

On that note, here are the hotlines again.

National suicide prevention lifeline:  1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 The Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741-741 Trans Lifeline:  1-877-565-8860

If you read this far, I guess thanks for being interested in my thoughts, and I really hope this didn’t trigger anything too serious. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I should probably go talk to my therapist about this.

[3norachas]

wrong send • bang chan (I)

pair: bang chan x reader

genre: college au, friends to lovers, fake dating, fluff, suggestive no smut tho uwu, a little angst, bullet point scenario

warnings: suggestive it’s just making out sjabdka

“In which Y/n was supposed to send her best friend, Lee Minho, a porn link for scientific purposes but accidentally sent it to her neighbor, Bang Chan.”

masterlist     (a/n: sike ya bitch I’m too excited to wait for 6 pm so here you go hnng gotta cut it halfway bc tumblr can’t handle this masterpiece hnnghgn anyway sorry this took too long ive been procrastinating and i still had irremediable and unforeseen to deal with hhnghgn but pls don’t be afraid to request huehuehue and im sorry if my style of writing in bullet point format is similar to some writers hgnfhgng i’ve read some of these types of writing and it stuck with me so im very sorry :((( )

taglist: @cahtastrophie @anxietyishell

PART II

you and minho were close

you grew up together

learned to walk together

bath together when you were babies of course :))

bully and judge people together

basically everything

you studied in the same school and were inseparable since birth

it was like two puzzle together

when you need help with love minho is there to watch over you he scares all of them but u dont need to know that oof

when minho’s in trouble you’re there for him even if it’s bailing him out of jail dont ask why

you even watch porn together  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

but that’s all platonic!!!

the two of you tried dating and were each other’s first kiss

but it didn’t really work out for the both of you

it was too awkward

so you decided that you were better off as friends

but that didn’t stop the two of you to be close huehuehue

y’all still cuddle like kids and personal space never existed between the two of you

that stayed until college

everyone legit thought the two of you were dating but—

“me and minho??”, “me and y/n??”

and you’d both send each other a playful glare

“ew no”

so when minho asked you to send him some link to a gay porn website

you didn’t even bat an eye

so here you are

about to send some porn link for minho’s entertainment and prob for his minho junior ;)))

“here’s the link you bitch”

and there you go

but what weirded u out tho is when minho didn’t reply immediately

he’s always fast when it comes to your texts or calls

but then you thought maybe he couldn’t wait anymore and is busy fucking or whatever

so imagine your shock when u received a text with multiple question marks 

“?????????”

“hello to you too but what is this for?”

it was bang chan

bang motherfucking chan

The Bang Chan™

the one with grades higher than your height

the athlete who joins a lot of sports but eats like he hasn’t for weeks

the one who sits in front of you and asks for pencils every now and then

and has more girls than you have friends

“is this porn?”

“oh wait”

“it is porn”

you threw your phone away from you, burying your face on the pillow to sulk in embarrassment

out of all people it just had to be him ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

your phone rang with the ring tone minho had set for himself let’s all assume it’s a sexy song

“hoe where’s the link”

“i think i did something terrible”

“wouldn’t be your first time lmao but what is it??”

“i accidentally sent it to someone else….”

“…..”

“….”

“…”

“..”

“how and who the hell did u sent it to?”

“bang chan…”

“whomst-hAHAHAHHNGDBJ ISN’T THAT YOUR NEIGHBOR??”

“DON’T LAUGH A ME U BITCH ;’((("

“I CAN’T NOT HUHAHAHA”

you whine while he wheezes at your misery

“just tell him it’s not for him and apologize u big baby”

“but that’s just embarrassing” o(╥﹏╥)o

“do you really want him to think that it’s for him and you’re trying to make him hard and seduce him?? what makes it worse is that it’s gay porn”

“nO”

“tHEN DO SOMETHING”

so that’s how you find yourself standing in front of the door of the apartment across yours

with shaky hands you knock on the door

it opens to reveal bang chan himself in his shirtless glory- Σ(゜ロ゜;)

…..

(╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾) !!!!!!!

sHiRtLEsS?????

suddenly, you don’t know how to breathe don’t we all tho

hngkdb mfucking bitch has defined abs how can you function normally

how is this man comfortable with showing his abs to random people???

it doesn’t help that he still has little droplets of water on his body 

“hi?”

you yelp, literally, and that caused a small chuckle from chan at your cute reaction but!!!

HiS cHuCKle sOuNdED !!!!

you pinch your wrist to wake yourself up and maybe stop yourself from staring at his torso

now is not the time y/n!! ‎(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ

“um- I’m- hi….”

“hi there” he smiles his dimpled smile and —*inhales*

your heart went !!!!

it took you a lot to compose yourself before you squish his cheeks in your hands

nO Y/N !!!

cOnTRol YOuRSeLf !!!

“soooo”

“huh?”

“come inside for a bit” he grins at your confused look and opened his door wider

what

wHaT?

reluctantly, you follow him inside his apartment. you weren’t surprised when u saw the mess inside, it was a small space but it wasn’t too small

what surprised you tho

there were pieces of female clothes on the floor and bed

Σ(‘◉⌓◉’)

you were confused for a moment before you finally undersstood the situation and that those clothes where female clothing

fEMALE 

nOT HIS

“channie who was that?”

your head whip to the bathroom door to stare at the girl is your neck ok y/n?

her eyes were wide

like

wIDe

like this O - O

and she looks scared :00

“a-are you chan’s s/o?” she gulps before scurrying to gather her things and run pass you muttering apologies and out the door she went

s/O????

you didn’t even have time to explain that you weren’t !!!

she just ran pass you !!!!

and wasn’t that mina?!?!

like The Mina™ who gets all boys huehue

“I’m sorry about her”

you hear chan sigh, now wearing a shirt

which was great bc if he stayed shirtless you might not be able to speak normally bold of u to assume that you can speak even if he’s fully clothed hhghghng

“she really think that these hook ups we have has a meaning”

hookups?

you shook your head, mumbling about how it doesn’t really mind you which is a big fucking lie

wHAT IF MINA GOSSIPS TO HER FRIENDS THAT YOU WERE CHAN’S S/O???

if anything she may already have broadcasted it to the whole campus

“sooo why did you came here??”

chan settled on his bed with a cute curious look on his face

just then did you remembered

yOU SEND HIM A GAY PORN LINK

suddenly you’re back to phase one

you keep opening and shutting your mouth from nervousness lIKE HELLO??? HOW??? ARE YOU??? SUPPOSED TO BE CALM???

aND IT’S CHAN SO???

DON’T!!! BLAME!!! Y/N!!!

“i-t’s about t-the… link-”

chan chuckles and nods his head ”yeah i saw it”

sAW IT?!?!

aS iN hE wATcHeD tHe vIdEO!?!?!

!!!!

chan must’ve noticed the look on your face and laughed his beautiful laugh and you felt your heart is being crushed !!!!

“no not like that! i meant that i received it yes”

oh

oHh

stupid you

why would chan even watch it if he knows that it’s porn hhnghg maybe he did watched it ;)))

you played with the hem of your shirt. eyes casted down from embarrassment smh how many times are you going to embarrass yourself y/n hhhnghn

“p-please forget about the link”

“oh??” chan tilted his head in confusion still with his mfuckin smile

“i-it wasn’t supposed to be sent for you!!! i’m really sorry for calling you bitch too…”

chan was shookt when you bowed 360 degrees and repeatedly apologizing

so being the kind person he is he took a hold of your shoulders with a cute smile

cHAN STOP MAKING CUTE FACES !!! Y/N IS DEAD !!!

AND HE’S TOO CLOSE FOR COMFOT HHNGHNY/N ARE YOU STILL ALIVE???

HANG IN THERE SWEETY

“it’s alright, i don’t mind but…”

but???

“does your boyfriend know???”

?????

“boyfriend?? i’m sorry but i don’t-”

“isn’t minho your boyfriend? y’know the dance major? i’m pretty sure the link is for him, right?”

o-O!!?

he thought you and minho??? are??? dating???

“um n-no we’re not! i mean we’re close but that’s it!”

chan released a relieved sigh and his smile came back

bUT?? HE’S STILL TOO CLOSE?? AND HIS BREATHING HITS YOUR BURNING CHEEKS??

“that’s good, I really thought I was going to have to face him”

he lets out a breathy laugh before letting go you secretly miss his touch and heading for his kitchen

“do you want to eat before going ahead? i mean you’re literally just across my front door so??”

well who are you to say no to that :’)) 

even if it’s possible that he can murder you rn but chan?? hurt someone??

yeah keep telling that to yourself :’))

what you didn’t expect tho was for the two of you to hit it off ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

the two of you have so many things to talk about and it was never awkward and chan was literally listening to whatever bs you were rambling about

and he has such a soft look on his face when he listens to you uwu ɾ⚈▿⚈ɹ

but it wasn’t long before you have to get going bc it’s a school day tomorrow

BUT THAT’S OK !!!

BC THE SECOND U OPENED YOUR DOOR TO HEAD TO COLLEGE HE OPENED HIS WITH A CUTE MORNING SMILE

y’all walk to college together with small talks and he walk you to your first class uwu (▰˘v˘▰)

when lunch arrived you and minho sat at the same table like usual

“soooo how did it went with chan??” minho asked with his mouth stuffed with pasta

“huh??”

minho deadpanned and threw one of his garlic bread at you

sTOP WASTING FOOD U HOE (ง •̀ゝ•́)ง

“i was asking about chan u dumbo”

from the grin on your face minho knew he was going to hear some good tea and drama although he insulted you for being a coward at first

“he’s hooking up with mina :000″

“is that the only thing you heard from what i just said :’<”

he was about to say something else when your junior best friend jisung came running to your table

“why didn’t you tell me!?!? i thought we were friends!?!?” (▰˘︹˘▰)

“tell you what??”

you can tell jisung was clearly offended but you didn’t know why tho 

“that you and chan are dating you traitor!" 

Σ(꒪ȏ꒪)

you and minho shared a look

"i was expecting that”

“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW???”

jisung look confused so you ended up explaining what happened yesterday with chan

“how did you managed to send him the porn link tho” jisung to a sad y/n, 

“and what the hell did you need the porn link for?” jisung to a flustered minho

“that’s not the point!!” (●o≧д≦)

you slump on your seat with a defeated look and just then did u noticed the look that people are sending you

automatically you hid yourself by snuggling into minho uwu u cute y/n

“oi, you can’t just snuggle into me when everyone thinks you have a boyfriend” — “but i don’t”

“y/n?” 

u look up from minho’s shoulder to see chan

"chan!!!" Σ(゜ロ゜;)

"can we talk for a moment??”

minho nudge you on the elbow, nodding as if to tell you to go ahead so you stood up and followed chan outside the cafeteria

when you’re outside chan faces you with a bothered look

“I’m so sorry for what people are saying about us I’m pretty sure it was mina she usually gossips a lot to her friends but I didn’t expect her to tell them that we’re dating just bc you came yesterday-”

chan was now rambling his apologies just like you did last night he looked cute like that btw

“it’s ok chan!! I’m sure you didn’t mean for that to happen”

chan was relieved when he heard that but he looked like he was still bothered by something

so being the sweetheart you are you asked him what it is ^~^

“can I ask you a favor??” he look uncertain so normally you were concerned

so you nod because !!!!

chan is worried !!!!

so it has to be something big !!!!

“i know this is probably going to be weird bc we just met last night and we’re not that close but-” chan look at your eyes to see if you still want him to continue so you nod at him

“c-can we please date?? but like fake dating and all?? i thought about it and it would really help me avoid those girls who wanted me in their bed and don’t worry i’ll pay you back! i swear-”

(〃ﾟдﾟ〃)!!! 

"d-date!?!?!?” 

you yelped, cheeks burning bright from chan’s offer

HOW CAN YOU NOT??

CHAN LITERALLY ASKED YOU TO DATE HIM !!! IT MAY BE FAKE AND ALL BUT STILL !!! HE ASKED YOU !!! YOU !!! TO DATE !!! OUT OF ALL PEOPLE !!!

and it didn’t help that he said please insert sad uwu :((

AS IF YOU’D SAY NO :((

"i-it’s ok if you don’t want to though!! I won’t force you!!”

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD SAY NO TO BANG CHAN??  DEFINITELY NOT YOU BC!!! IT’S!!! BANG CHAN!!!

“i-im fine with it but why me tho??” bc you’re cute and awesome y/n (ﾟヮﾟ)

your cheeks became even more red than possible when chan gave you cute smile

"well, I really want to get to know you since last night and you weren’t like any girl to be honest”

aaAAHH 

BANG CHAN U BITCH 

Y/N??? 

ARE YOU STILL ALIVE???

you can feel your heart fluttering from his confession definitely not because he was looking at you with a fond smile and soft caring eyes hnghn

“so, are you in?" 

with your trembling weak heart you nodded, knees weakening when he beamed at you and his mother fucking cute dimples showed

you’re doomed :’))

"great! I’ll see you later then”

later?? o-O??

“um what for??”

he chuckled at your confused lil face and patted your head

aaAAHH YOUR HEART JUST SKIPPED THOUSANDS OF BEATS

“for our first date dummy”

[jungwoohoos]

uni!hoseok

genre: fluff

word count: 2.2k

he really does look like linguini when he dances, but you guess you can’t resist that

You weren’t a party virgin per se

There was that one time the second weekend of first year that you went out with your roommate

She had met someone the night before and said he would give you two an in

How did she get someone’s number so quickly?? You didn’t understand

You once asked for someone’s email instead because the thought of asking for someone’s number was so personal

Your project group got a little annoyed that they had to email you everything they had already discussed in the group chat

But you always made sure to use the cute emojis that look like blobs of honey, so everything was good and your members didn’t annihilate you in the evaluation reports

Anyway, you lasted 20 minutes max at that party

It was a house party, but everyone was milling around in the backyard, which was nearly pitch black and really patchy

You could barely see your feet, so you had no idea how anyone could see who they were talking to

Everyone was also wearing hawaiian shirts

“Oooohhhhhh, it’s a hawaiian themed party,” your roommate had whispered while looking at your all black outfit

As if black jeans don’t exist in Hawaii >:(

She started talking to the guy she had met the night before, and it was getting a little steamy if you could say so yourself

You should take lessons because she was playing in the big leagues

Subtle touch on his arm

Laughing at everything he was saying

Although that one must’ve been a hard one to pull off because there’s only so much you could laugh about when a drunk dude’s retelling how much pain he was in when he thought his appendicitis was someone in an invisibility cloak stabbing him with an invisible knife

You had only come with your roommate, and she was busy trying to get with Chad over there

So you played on your phone a bit

Walked around the backyard, which was the size of a ping pong table, and got some fresh air

There was only so much bush you could look at at 11:30 pm

So you caught your roommate’s eyes (which were wandering suspiciously south)

And motioned that you were going to head out

And to text you if she was coming back

Because the way she was working her magic on Brad, the question was more of an “if” than a “when”

You walked through the sprinkler on your way back to your room, and that was the most fun part of the night by far

Two years later, you can proudly say you never stepped foot into another party

Because being in your bed nice and clean was your kind of party

Not the kind where you’re sweating not because you’re moving

But from sheer proximity to other sweaty bodies

So when Namjoon invited you to a small gathering he was having, you didn’t hesitate to say yes

You had met Namjoon earlier that semester in your botany class

The one that you both realized you only took because you had binge watched the same video of a guy grooming his garden full of bonsai plants

Trimming and landscaping and rearranging the formation of the pebbles surrounding the base

43:11 minutes of pure heaven

He squealed when you brought up BlissfulBonsai81 because yEs YES someone who understands

You’re at a coffee shop doing some work when he brings it up

Scrape of chair legs

The warm smell of cinnamon that wafts up to your nose when he hands you your drink

“Soooo since BlissfulBonsai81 mentioned in his last video that true happiness comes from celebration of small moments”

This man is his role model

“I’m gonna have a small gathering so we can celebrate the end of midterms woooo!!”

You haven’t met Namjoon’s other friends yet, but from what he’s mentioned, they seem fun

Hoseok seems a little wild though

But you trust Namjoon, and it’ll be nice to have some fun after the onslaught of exams

So you tell him you’ll go

“But only if there’s sweet and spicy sriracha wings”

“Small gathering” my ass

If Namjoon weren’t being a sweetheart and helping Youngchul in the bathroom, he would’ve been getting a piece of your mind

Your last exam was today

And to say that it burned you out would be a major understatement

Two hours of fluid dynamics and stupid pipes being smooth or rough and turbulent substances

You’ll show Namjoon turbulent when you’ve gotten your much deserved 12 hours of sleep

Even now, after the party’s died down a bit, there are at least 30 people

You couldn’t even walk up the stairs to use the bathroom without bumping into four couples making out

One was Jungkook and his new girlfriend, who he apparently officially met on an intramural volleyball team

He gave you a wave and a wink when you turned around to apologize for bumping into him

His girlfriend also smiled and gave a little wave

Probably the cutest couple you could’ve stumbled upon sucking faces

It’s nearing midnight, and you’re starting to feel the day catch up to you

The bass was a little too loud thrumming through your head

The cup you had barely touched was beginning to make your hand cramp

And that guy was still dancing

You’re half delirious and half inexperienced, but you’re pretty sure there’s no dancing at house parties

Not counting the disturbing bump and grinds happening off beat

But this guy’s been dancing for the last two hours

And you don’t know how he’s made it this far because he’s wearing jeans and a long sleeve

They make him look even more like the inflatable guys outside of car dealerships

He’s really not a bad dancer

Definitely has the flexibility for it if you can go off his limbs flying everywhere

And that huge smile’s been on his face the whole time, even though any sane person wouldn’t be smiling if they were wearing the insulator his clothes are

Any sane person also wouldn’t be doing the sprinkler to Kendrick Lamar

You’re still looking at him over the rim of your cup when you hear a small sigh next to you

Namjoon plucks the cup from your cup and downs it

“I’m never holding a party again” he groans and lets his head fall back onto the couch

You’re about to be a little sassy and correct him with “small gathering”, but he sat up when he saw you looking at the dancing noodle

“Ohh! You haven’t met Hobi hyung. Let me introduce you!!”

You’re being pulled straight off the couch and toward the middle of the room before you could blink

Oh he’s taller than you thought

“Hyung, hyung” 

Namjoon has to cup his armpit and squeeze to get his attention

There’s a squeal and Hobi turns around

He makes a little tsk sound when he sees Joon

“Eh, Joon. You know I hate when you do that”

He sees you looking at him

You look like you could use a good hibernation

He can’t help but smile when you go to shake his hand but yawn instead

Your nose scrunched up and you covered your mouth with the hand you were about to use to shake his

Namjoon’s rambling about something you two have in common

“You guys both like hot cheetos!! You can talk about that”

But you two are sizing each other up silently

He seems like too much energy, too much pep for your liking 

You literally just watched this guy flail for 2 hours

You don’t think you like him

He likes how you’re not afraid to make eye contact with him

You also smell like citrus, which smells like heaven compared to the overwhelming scent of dried beer and sweat

He likes you

Namjoon doesn’t know it because he’s still listing topics you could talk about

“...music? No, songs with tambourine accents are kinda niche...politics??”

You leave a little after that because your roommate got locked out while she was doing laundry, and she’s in her underwear

Hobi gives you a wink, and you narrow your eyes

He pops up a lot in the next few weeks

Sometimes just to call your name and shoot you a wink

But other times to ask how your day was and see if you want to get milkshakes

You don’t want to admit it, but you kind of enjoy spending time with him

You have to tell him to lower his voice numerous times because he ends up shouting

A problem in the library

And he likes listening, so he asks you to just talk a lot of the times

Which puts you in a weird position because you shouldn’t want to talk to someone you find loud and annoying right?

But you find yourself smiling when you hear his voice

And having to pretend to be grumpy when he interrupts your study sessions because he was bored

He’s nothing you thought you would like, but everything that made you happy

News started spreading that you and Hobi were hanging out because Hobi was beloved on campus

Even the janitors got excited to talk to him

Not many people knew who you were because you tended to keep to yourself

You were sitting on a bench one day, eating some carrots

Decapitating more like it

You were pissed

You missed your presentation this morning because your alarm didn’t go off

Professor Lee wouldn’t let you make it up even when you started crying

You were crying so much that you slipped down the stairs

Your butt now had a stair shaped bruise on it

And now you had to get ready for Namjoon’s birthday party because your present had taken 3 weeks to come in and you weren’t about to give it to him the day after his birthday

Which is why 2 hours later, you’re drunk

It only took one “what’s this pee colored drink??” 

You’re in the bathroom, trying to figure out how to turn on the sink

For some reason, the knobs won’t turn to either side

Maybe it’s automatic? You wave your hands underneath the spout but still no water

You didn’t hear the knock on the door

You didn’t even know it had opened and someone had walked in until you feel a solid body bounce against yours 

Hands caught your waist before you could topple over, and you let out a small “oof” when the momentum stopped and you bounced back against their chest

Mmmmmmm smells like freshly baked muffins

You fisted your hands into the fabric in front of you and buried your nose deeper

“Having fun there?”

“Mmmeppaph” you mumbled, moving your hands around to their back and letting your nose trace its way into the crook of their neck

Hobi hoped you couldn’t feel how quickly his heart was beating

Because it was about to bust out of his chest and if you hum against his neck one more ti--

“Hmmmmm”

You couldn’t help yourself because they were so warm and smelled so nice and made a really nice bed and huh, you were a little tired weren’t you

He felt your body give until you were slumped against him

The only thing that was keeping you upright was his hands on your waist

And your hands which have somehow dropped into his waistband

He shuffled out of the bathroom as carefully as possible

Your head lolled and hit the frame of the door before he could catch it, but you just gave a little huff

Only two more doors 

He fumbled with your body before he freed one hand to open his door

Laid you gently onto his bed

He thanked god that he washed his boxers that were laying on there earlier today

Brought a blanket and tucked you in

He couldn’t help himself from rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip because he doesn’t have the courage to do it when you’re awake

He’s never seen you asleep before, but he likes how peaceful you look

You’re not rolling your eyes at him or shooing him away

It makes it a little easier to imagine that you could like him

He initially doesn’t hear that you’re mumbling because it’s so quiet

And the blanket’s kinda in your mouth

He moves it away so he can hear you

It still takes you a couple times before you’re coherent

“Mmmmm can I tell you a secret?”

He smiles because the only secret you told him was that his socks smell like the plague

“Of course”

You shift so that you’re curled around him, your hand resting on his thigh

“I like Hobi, but don tell him ‘cause I don think he thinks I’m cute, even though I ammmmm”

He thinks his heart exploded when he saw you push your lower lip out

“And he’s too nice and good for me, but I’m shellfish and wanna be happy, and he makes me so so so so happy”

You blanched when he recited your words over breakfast and painkillers the next morning

He knew you were going to try to deny everything when you went to open your mouth

So he reached over the counter and cupped your cheek

“Be shellfish and let yourself be happy, okay? Because that makes me happy”

“Oh and by the way, very very cute”

You hum when you taste the syrup on his lips