i was hoping to make a post like this under happier circumstances, but here goes.
as some of you know, everything with the cancellation and renewal campaign has happened right on top of the worst part of my mom's cancer treatment (plus the show was cancelled on my actual birthday 💀). i won't go into details, but it's been tough. lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, luckily ending (for now) on as much of an up as circumstances allow. the whole thing has been weirdly tied to the cancellation for me, kind of amplifying every feeling. the grief got mixed up, and there was so much of it - mourning the loss of the kind of future i thought i'd have with my mother and the time we might not get, mourning the end of a show that means so much to me and is such a big part of my life. different types of grief, sure, and of different magnitudes, but in one big ugly swirl. i sort of had a breakdown right at the start of february, and it was because of news about my mom, but it morphed into my brain telling me everything i'd ever written was shit and wanting to delete it all. stuff like that, spilling over.
anyway. i was holding off on writing this post to see if the show got picked up by someone else. but i still want to say it. because what also spilled over was the support and community from this fandom, and being in this space (despite the rough times and high emotions) helped me through it, because of all of you here. whether we talk regularly, or you left a comforting reply or simply a like on one of my posts about having a hard time (i tried to keep them few), or wrote a nice comment on a fic, or said something funny or nice or insightful in the tags of a gifset, or was active here (or on twt) in any way, talking/sharing/creating stuff about the show - THANK YOU.
you all helped me through all the ups and downs, and i am so grateful. thank you for being here, listening, distracting, helping me feel some joy despite the horrors. i love you and i love this incredible show and all it has brought and will continue to bring and inspire, and although it should go without saying, i'm not going anywhere. just do me a favor and give yourself a big ol' hug from me, and know that you made a difference for some random guy on the internet (but in reality for many more, and for this fandom as a whole, just by being here and being you) 💕
127 notes
·
View notes
Why Logan is Trapped by the Narrative: A Quick Analysis on the Effects of Thomas' Black-and-White Thinking
Why is Logan so caught up on not being seen as a joke?
Why does he care so much about what Thomas and the others think of him?
Can't he just be Logic without having to deny he has feelings, without constantly filling only the roles of exposition in the show and the voice of reason for Thomas?
Well, here's the thing: Logan is trapped by the narrative.
Thomas' perception of the narrative, to be exact.
Think of it this way - you know how so many people argue that we can't have a female president in the US because she would somehow be "too emotional" to handle the position properly?
While complete nonsense (at least in comparison to plenty of emotional decisions men can make, too), the point is that people see the role of a president as someone who is calm, collected, and in control. They know that person will have to make very important decisions, so it's believed they need to be someone who is informed and level-headed.
Similarly, if you were to hire a lawyer, only for that lawyer to constantly get angry and loud and scream at people when someone argued with them, would you trust them to be able to do their job properly?
If you went to the doctor, only for your doctor to cry and sob with empathy for you, only offering up niceties and positive words instead of factual information to improve your situation, would you ever go back to such a doctor or trust them to help anyone?
People perceive certain jobs and roles in very specific ways.
It's not that a lawyer can't get emotional, but they need to understand how to keep their calm when they are doing their job. It's not that a doctor can't have empathy and care about their patients, but they need to not let it interfere with their work.
People tend to see the world as more black and white than it actually is. We perceive people for their roles, not as the multi-faceted folks that they truly are.
Just because you see a coworker who's always quiet and reserved doesn't mean they are like that when they go home. Just because your teacher is strict and quick to find faults doesn't mean they are like that when they're on vacation.
Often, people think someone can only be one or the other, not varying shades of both and more. But even people we know very well can have aspects that we don't know or understand.
Logan exists within shades of gray, removed from those arbitrary constructs society holds but still required to operate within them because of Thomas.
This is why he has to insist on being heard, being taken seriously, not making mistakes.
Because everything relies on Thomas' perception of him.
If Thomas doesn't find Logan reliable? He won't be reliable.
If Thomas doesn't trust him when he tells him the truth? He won't be trustworthy.
If Thomas thinks Logan is wrong about something? Then Logan will be wrong.
It all comes down to how Thomas' mind perceives everything, and Logan is always, always torturously aware of that fact. Thomas is human. He has a lot of black-and-white thinking that he hasn't challenged just yet.
It's because of this that Logan knows he can't mess up, because then Thomas will see those mistakes as him. He will be identified in that way.
We see this with the other sides a lot, too, by the way.
Patton isn't taking seriously even when he has good suggestions because he's always telling jokes and relying on feelings. But Morality is something important that should be listened to and taken seriously at times, as it's meant to guide your actions.
Roman is reprimanded a lot for arguing and yelling at others, but he is constantly fueled by passion. He's built to stand up for what he believes in, even if he's wrong or making an impulsive decision in the moment! Tampering down that passion would prevent him from expressing the Creativity that he embodies!
Virgil's entire role is to scare Thomas into not doing things that could potentially hurt him, so Thomas perceived him as scary and villainous for a very long time. But without it, Thomas could easily get hurt!
The same can be said for Janus and Remus, too. They initially come off as villainous, bad, and evil, despite their actual purpose and intentions, only because Thomas has perceived them and their roles in that way.
Logan cannot make mistakes because then he'll be seen as unreliable or wrong. He can't display emotions because then he'll be seen as emotional, compromised and unable to make unbiased decisions. He can't be seen as a joke or not taken seriously, because then Thomas' perception of him as a voice of reason, as someone with valuable knowledge, as someone he can always trust to tell him the truth...that will all be gone. It will warp Logan into something that he's not, so he has to maintain those rigid guidelines as much as absolutely possible to remain in his position.
Does this mean Logan really can have emotions? Can he enjoy silly activities or a good joke? Yes, of course he can.
But it needs to be kept separate from his role as Thomas' logic.
And this is where the issue arises. Because Thomas wants his sides to constantly act as their own characters, this puts a lot of spotlight on Logan even when he is in private. He can't be perceived at any time as someone Thomas can't trust or rely on, so his role as Logic invades the other part of his existence, too.
If a lawyer was stoic and formal even at home with their family, their family would probably find them odd, and the lawyer would probably feel stressed about being completely unable to ever unwind.
If a doctor could not show empathy even to their own children, relying only on facts, unable to comfort them because their coworkers could see their every move and they couldn't risk being seen as emotional for even a moment, the doctor would likely have a very stilted relationship with their kids, unable to connect with them in the way they want.
For Logan, he has to remain a reliable, unbiased, unfeeling Logic at all times because he is constantly being perceived as such.
Because it's all about who's watching and what's expected to be seen.
Logan wants to be more than his role as Logic, more than what is expected of him. But he knows the consequences of him trying to do so could harm Thomas in the long run, leaving him without a much-needed voice of reason.
So he's not going to let that happen, even if that means he has to hide away all the parts of 'Logan' that don't quite fit what Thomas expects of him.
Because Thomas needs him to be Logic a hell of a lot more than he needs him to be Logan.
203 notes
·
View notes