#oh my god this is so terrifying but also
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For every note this little post gets, i’ll work on my art projects for 2 minutes this month.
#you are literally under no obligation to interact with this post#speck rambles#power of the crowd and gays#i’m going ti take a nap listening to the rain. i just wanted to post something that let me talk about the rain#because like#it’s been just thundering#terribly. and i’m in love#i’ve never been cozier and my head feels fuzzy#i also did not sleep well. so the rain is calling me and sending me to sleep#i love the rain. i love the thunder. i’m so glad that im going to nap#and then? if i wake up and it’s still rainy? a cup of tea warmed up for my soul#god. but the abundance of rain also has me terrified of the flooding and-#oh. lightwnobg jsr almost stuck me#ah. okay. not fun. uh. stilly. bed now
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sooooooo when i jokingly said to myself "haha did ruan mei play aeonic necromancy on tingyun's remains or something" i wasn't expecting that to literally be the case what the fuck
#ON ONE HAND! TINGYUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ON THE OTHER! HELLO???????????????????????????????????#that was a really good update . a little clunky in those transitions sometimes but ooooh boy that came together GOOD#jiaoqiu nearly sent me into hysterics i was so upset . and flabbergasted. mostly flabbergasted#also the part where hoolay let him go for a little bit and you had the option to try asking for help#with severe consequences to be reaped afterwards. that was so nervewracking#i ended up doing it once out of curiosity and immediately regretted it and was horribly anxious the rest of the time i was running around#and yeah those consequences sure do. Consequence#props to the writers and stuff for that one that was great i felt ill#FEIXIAO... GOD FEIXIAOOOOO OHHHH BOY I LOVE HERRR what a great character#i hoped and i prayed and i dreamed for a deep dive into her condition and not a vague gloss-over as hyv loves to do AND I GOT IT#moze didn't do enough tricks (aka just . being a part of the story and interacting with other characters) for me to care about him still#it's like#the yaoqing trio: yay yahoo yippee WOOOO YAYYYY#moze by himself: closes my eyes forever#DO MORE TRICKS FOR ME#lingsha's pretty cool. i will save her from her bad design#oh oh oh YANQING!!!!!!!!!! USING WHAT JINGLIU TAUGHT HIM AND IMMOBILIZING HOOLAY ALL BY HIMSELF!!!!!! OH YM GOD#MY LITTLE BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#that cutscene was terrifying i almost died of stress . i'm so proud of you yanqing. never do that again#i had fun and now it's 3 am and i have work in the morning. help me
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How tf am I gonna be a neurosurgeon one day if it destroys me every time I see a senior patient with a neurodegenerative disease sad
#17 YEARS OF EDUCATION and so very lovable#But I got destroyed bc we gave her a questionnaire on her mental state and she was like. Knowing I have this and will die bc of it one day#Makes me sad#and I was like OH MY GOD I wanna kms right here#Also I made friends w one of the psychometrists. Shes 25 and sooo pretty#She said the neurologist I shadow made every psychometrist here cry at one point 💀#The future looks dark I’m terrified of her getting mad at me#She’s been so lax so far????#Whatever..#I’m ready to be home for the day but I have some more shit to wrap up first UGHH
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i am so glad that tmagp is on hiatus. so that lena kelley can watch rite here rite now in peace without being bothered by the horrors <3
#i just watched it it was so goooddddd oh my god#terrified and fascinated and obsessed with tobias forge's twisted mind#lena would fucking love this movie#she would also cry#and wait for the post-credit scene#and then freak out#just like me#tmagp#the magnus protocol#lena kelley#tmagp hiatus#tmagp shitpost#rite here rite now
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Everyone Introduced in Dimension 20's Burrow's End episode 8
#dimension 20 spoilers#dimension 20#d20 introductions#burrow's end#burrow's end spoilers#d20 burrow's end#awww the captions sort of hid that the subtitle said the goodest boy#also let me know if i should tag for body horror or anything#also there being five stoats hit me like a TRUCK? TERRIFIED for these folks oh god#also carlos with that fucking performance. JESUS CHRIST.#at the edge of my SEAT with all this i can't wait to see what comes of all this#and all those stoat family moments dawwww.........#so sweet
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echoing my song
“Denki.”
“What?”
Kaminari grins at him, so blinding and happy that Tenya almost recoils. “Call me Denki. You’re my tic buddy, right? I know we don’t really know each other well yet, but…” Kaminari puckers his lips as he thinks. “But I feel like I know you, dude. In a way that no one else ever will. And you know me, too.”
It sounds silly, but Tenya doesn’t want to protest.
[or, a celebration & exploration of tourette's syndrome seen through iida, kaminari, & class 1a]
🌾22,120 words | kaminari & iida-centric, ft. class 1a🌾
happy tourette's awareness month!!!
#corey writes:)#bnha#mha#my hero academia#bnha fanfiction#kaminari denki#iida tenya#class 1a#tourettes syndrome#tourette's#shinkami#bnha class 1a#oH MY GOD THIS IS SO LONG#WOW WOW WOW#technically this *was* finished before ts month ended yesterday i just uhhhh had another one to finish and i edited most of it today#bc sleeping is hard and sleepy tired and y eah#can't believe this is now my longest oneshot on ao3 wow#anyways most everything i'd usually say in the tags is in the a/n so uhhhhh#ig thank you and goodbye???#i worked like really hard on this and i'm kinda proud??? also a lil terrified bc so much of me went into this but#whatever lol
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horror bragging about he's immortal and allat to killer and dust (because he genuinely thinks he is. like he literally came back from the DEAD that is a proud accomplishment!!!! bro probably brags all the time about it like "heh even if you hit me hard i'll just get back up. bitch")
and then killer's like alright bet! let's test that out! and then he starts going on an all out chase for horror's head. and dust just follows along because hey why the fuck not it sounds fun and it would be nice to knock horror down a peg or two :3 frantic running from horror ensues because as much as he'd like to stick by his claim he REALLY cannot be going around risking to see if him being immortal is actually true 💀
#horror it's all your fault you played with fire and now you are not about to get burned you are about to DIE#oh its probably so nervewracking....... he legit could die horror doesnt know if the other two would take mercy on him#he's been an ass all this time ‼️ he has been manipulative and lied ‼️ he has shittalked them at their lowest ‼️ he is FUCKED#or WORSE they just end up dragging this out and driving him crazy with paranoia (this is in fact what would happen)#not that he particularly regrets not being nice to killer and dust because why should he and why do they deserve it but like. GODAAMN IT#couldnt it HURT just to be a LITTLE nicer past horror???? now youre gonna DIE because you were too much of an asshole!!!!!!! fuck#but maybe he doesn't die? maybe he actually lives when the two find him and eventually#would that be worse actually yes in fact it would. if he wants anyone to find out he's actually immortal it would NOT be dust and killer#death seems much more inviting than being hunted down by those two. oh SHIT REAPER WAIT DONT TOUCH HIN#if killer and dust worked together they could probably create a torture situation that not even a tank personified would mentally survive#this seems like another one of my ideas in my head that seems bright and comedic but in reality would just be terrifying#i like it piccasso. now just set it in horrortale and then you have horror in the place of all the people he killed#all the people he hunted down all the innocents and now he gets to feel what they felt when he chased them down#the fear and nervousness of being watched of being toyed with of knowing that youre already stuck in a maze with no exit and no way back#yeah i'd kill myself the psychological horror i'd feel would just be too much dust and killer can just kill me for all i care I GIVE UP#wouldnt it be funny if dust and killer never even touch horror they just chase him until he passes out#that would be sooooo silly LMAO. bitchass we didnt even touch you and you passed out from panic and exhaustion??? COWARD 🤣🤣🤣🤣#dust and killer would never let that memory be forgotten trust. trust. i love it when they taunt and torture eachother#GOD can we get some self not so self inflicted pain onto these 3 😒😒😒 more than they already have but whatever#dont worry guys they took horror home after he passed out and when he woke up fed him a bit of soup to replenish his energy#and then they played a roblox obby to calm down and also relax and then they fell asleep all zzzrkkk mimimimi shoooo like 3 little kitties#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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I guess this bonfire night we get to see whether the US is about to become one 😭
#literally so terrified for y’all and the world in general rn#november 5#nov 5th#us elections#bonfire night#November 5th#sending my support I hope y’all are doing ok and not stressing if you voted you did all you could man#accursed posts#joking in the spirit of dark humour everywhere (but also like actually fuckin anxious abt it oh god)
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My friend and I had such a long day today and I am so tired but hey! Animals ^^
Also I met Freddy. More awkward then I imagined.
#XD#we went to town fair#and they had a haunted house- freddy was there at the start to welcome you in and take pictures#man was obviously very tired XD ironically.#but OH MY GOD bubba terrified me. i screamed.#michael was also a shock#it was so good 👌😆❤️🧡💛💚💙🩵💜 !!!
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If anyone is wondering why I’ve shown a sudden interest in Prompto Argentum, a character from FFXV (a nearly 10 year old game) — this man is what introduced me to selfship/oc x canon!!!! He is the reason I started reading fanfiction (and therefore the reason I started to write it all these years later)!!!!
I spent so much of my life pushing any nerdy tendencies I had aside in an attempt to be cooler and fit in better with my peers and whatever. And when I was in college, I had to push that back even more because I was constantly around a group of jocks until I quit my team.
So when I was starting to finally let myself ~be myself~ and immerse myself into fictional worlds and whatnot, FFXV opened that all up for me!!
It was the first time since childhood that I had a crush on a fictional character (Prompto) (and Cindy, but mostly Prompto because I was in denial of my sexuality at the time lol)
It was the first time since childhood I let myself pretend I was in another world, befriending characters, doing the mundane but with chocobos and daemons and whatnot hanging out in the background in this case
It’s the reason I came back to tumblr in my 2nd to last year of uni during my 1st degree program, after a few years avoiding this site, because before that this blog was an aesthetic/thinspo (ew) blog. It never touched the fandom side of tumblr until I started secretly following authors and slowly removing followers from myself so that I could “safely” reblog and like their works
This silly sunshine dude means the world to me because not only is he a cool character with more depth than the game leads you to believe, but he is the reason I’m a fucking nerd with fun hobbies now. The reason I don’t just sit there and be bored all the time for the sake of keeping up a facade just to make other people around me more accepting.
If I didn’t read Prompto x Reader fanfiction as a giddy and embarrassed 21 year old, I never would’ve gotten interested in most of the things I enjoy now.
That’s so frickin cool!!!!!
So of COURSE I go through phases where I obsess over him (and the ChocoBros as a whole of course) for a while. I probably always will. It’s only a matter of time before I draw/debut my FFXV oc and/or write Prompto x Reader fics of my own. Not anytime soon, but someday.
Sorry to ramble after not textposting in 47375838 years but. I just love him sm hehe
#also. bonus lore. I once played overwatch with his voice actor IVKEIVKEIFEKFJEKNF#he used to stream with noctis’ VA and opm saitama’s EN VA#and I added them on PSN during a stream and they accepted me and we just immediately queued up together#it was so fun. I didn’t talk to them because I was terrified but oh my GOD I still can’t believe that happened vosjcoejckd#they said I was rly good and I was giggling for like an hour over it#I was fangirling so hard#I still do#shut up crisa#being normal about ffxv#ffxv#ffxv prompto#prompto argentum#ff15 prompto#final fantasy xv prompto#final fantasy 15#final fantasy xv#ff15
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his man 3 ep 9 + 10
consider me gagged. literally gagged. i tried so hard to avoid spoilers all day and im so glad i did bc wow ep 10 alone had changed so much for me. like i had to grab my laptop to write this so i could type fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. anyway.
and let me start off with what im a little less invested in, which is the youngjoon and myeongkyun situation. i was busy on holidays for a couple of weeks when this was picking up so didn't write about my thoughts, but it was safe to say i was more on youngjoon's side, not a staunch hater of myeongkyun but bc i liked youngjoon a lot at the start and also feel for the frustration of someone giving vague answers when you're trying to talk something else bc man ive been there. but with this conversation, it puts myeongkyun's behaviour in such a different light thats easier for me to understand and empathise with. like... if you were invested in a relationship that ended vaguely but you always kept some amount of hope alive all this time, only to be met with percieved coldness and harshness when you see that person again, i see why you'd tense up, which explains why he always seemed somewhat uncomfortable in the house. and i also understand why he seemed to 'pester' youngjoon, bc he's either conciously or uncounciously defaulting back to the dynamic and level of friendliness they had before. for youngjoon, he easily ended a relationship he thought neither party was too interested in, only to still be contacted by that person and then have that person pester you in the house. like that seems like someone who is trying to get at an ex. for myeongkyun, this is all a much longer process of him coming to terms with the fact that yes, he was more invested in this relationship and yes, he maintained some level of feelings and hope they'd come back together, and seeing him having to face the fact that he was the only one thinking that and whatever he was holding on to never mattered... ngl i cried a bit. the fact is him and youngjoon just are different when it comes to dating, youngjoon is very hot from the go, but if he feels nothing in return he backs off with nothing lost, whereas myeongkyun takes a lot longer to develop, realise and then admit his feelings, and so you can easily see how these two people would misunderstand each other. and i also wanna say how interesting i find myeongkyun's presentation and journey on the show. he came in with this big impact both bc of him being presented as this handsome and confident guy and bc he had a history with youngjoon. together, its easy to jump to the conclusion that myeongkyun was the one who did something to youngjoon or was in the wrong, when that wasn't actually the case at all. it also makes me wonder what kind of myeongkyun we wouldve gotten if youngjoon wasnt also there. would we have gotten this confident hottie? bc i think, bc youngjoon was there and all of this history was brought up (history of a first relationship by the way!! no wonder it got to him so much), making him face it revealed a much softer and more sensitive side of him that mightve taken longer had this not all happened, which in a twisted way im glad of bc it means he can now get closer with other people, and im interested to see how he will shift now, if we'll be able to see this goofy side of him but a lot more carefree. anyway, all of this is to say i ended up liking myeongkyun more than i thought bc suprise suprise, people are a lot more complicated than they first appear. and honestly... i might like him more than youngjoon now, but dont tell me from 3 weeks ago that.
and now to the juicier stuff. this whole love triangle that is apparently turning square. i really dont know how to put my thoughts into words bc im somehow both sad and happy?? i guess i wanna say there's people im happy for and people im sad for. first of all im sad for hwi, but also really glad this conversation at the end of ep 10 was had. we've seen too many examples on this show of people not knowing how to give up on pursuing people, and even more examples of people that are poor at communicating where their interest lies and letting people down when its needed, so this made me happy. after how overwhelmed he was in earlier eps, im glad seongmin is feeling some clarity, even if i disagree but we'll get to that and i guess its his feelings that matter, and im glad he communicated clearly where he's at. but man did my heart break for hwi during that chat. there's that youthful passion and naivety to his feelings for seongmin that just feels horrid and cruel to squash, but also necessary, and i will very much second seongmin and seungjin's sentiment that he can date other people and should know that seongmin is not the only person in the world for him. in this season, it seems people have so quickly and easily found their one person they want to commit to and easily formed couples, but that doesnt mean they're right, nor does it mean that's the only person for them, and the show seems to be encouraging them away from this too. hwi was just so enamoured by seongmin, it feels like he found someone that he thought was absolutely perfect, and so letting go of that feels impossible. but for me too, i did love them together, it was so sweet and cute at the start, but things can and do change and when they do, we all need to realise it doesn't lessen anything that happened. for those couple of days, everything they felt was genuine and they were happy and that can still be remembered fondly while mourning the fact that you won't have that same happiness with that person again.
and i also wanna say im kind of sad for jaeseung. i said just that i was happy about this clarity seongmin has now, but for jaeseung, i feel sad that he just seems so on edge all the time, like how people can be on the edge of getting angry all the time, except for him it feels like he'll spiral into his worst thoughts at the simplest things. like when hwi would talk about jaeseung, yes he'd be mad and jealous, but until the end of this ep, it didn't feel that deep, like he'd joke about getting mad but i wouldn't feel that much tension. and yes while hwi did get more frustrated in these eps, for a lot longer jaeseung has been so tightly strung and will so easily get mad just when he sees hwi and seongmin together. and im like... yes ok get jealous whatever, but you can't actually get that mad when he's equally entitled to spend time with the person he likes and try to win him over. and if its bc he really does like seongmin that much then im sorry but i don't think jealously to that much of a level is sweet. you aren't a thing yet, so just take a minute and breathe bc at the end of the day, seongmin and hwi will feel and behave however you want and thats out of your hands. and i know on some level its bc he's jealous of the fact that hwi is able to express his feelings so openly and blatantly while jaesung cant, like that is what he always focuses his frustration on as if hwi doing that is bad when actually its just completely within his right and jaeseung is equally allowed to express his feelings. plus i hate to say it but i just dont feel seongmin and jaeseung's chemistry yet. if i see it later on then im more than happy to change my mind but their date was so bland and matter of fact, they don't share any interests, and since that date there's been nothing that's made me vibe with them as a couple. it feels convenient instead of something that started with feelings but hey, if genuine feelings do develop i will stand corrected, but all i say is just bc something seems like it should be right, doesnt mean it actually is.
and my final piece of happiness will of course be for seungjin bc as much as im sad about hwi losing seongmin... hwi and seungjin has so much potential to be the perfect friends to lovers to put bridgerton s3 to shame. i just think theyre fantastic together, they get on so easily and match each other's vibe so well and i'd be so happy if something developed, but i dont want to get too excited bc hwi has been so focused on seongmin that i don't know if or how his interests for others will develop now.
but all in all i liked these eps, ep 10 especially, and im very interested to see how this new love square will resolve (remember, polyamory exists too)
#his man 3#im finally back with a his man rant#and i cant believe of all people its myeongkyun that made me cry#i cried a little bit for hwi too#but oh my god i love hwi and seungjin so much that im now scared that hwi could unintentionally hurt seungjin bc i dont want anything bad t#happen to my faves. this is fantastic but also terrifying
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kaveh’s really pulling the words out of my brain. this wip was supposed to be just quick practice writing kavetham before I start on my howl’s au for them, but it’s not done and it’s like 13.5k? what’s going on? how did I get here? this isn’t even a complicated wip it’s just my take on kaveh’s participation in the championship event
idk something about depressed blonde man is making my brain go whrrr and kick out bangers like “guilt is as natural to him as breathing” and “the difference between martyrdom and surrender is nothing on the scale of the universe” like who comes up with that? not anyone who isn’t still unstable from finals that’s for sure anyway I’m almost done with it so watch out
#kavetham#kavehtham#haikaveh#kaveh#alhaitham#genshin#genshin impact#and i keep dropping bangers too#i have literally no right to be going this hard for a silly wip i started to distract me from finals#kaveh is going through the ringer#i am putting him through it#but its okay because unlike hoyo i will give him a boyfriend as compensation#fellas is it gay to know someone so well you don't need words to communicate#fellas is it gay to be desperately worried about your friend leaving you so you decide to leave them first after a major argument#but you end up living together later and oh god they're in love with you and you're terrified#also you're still blaming yourself for your father's death and your therapist is a literal god#kavehs so fucked up thank god haithams functional#one day ill finally finish this thing and be happy with it#im gonna shoot everyone with my nerf gun full of angst#itll be great#someone will cry for sure
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how did my professor recommend me The Color of Outer Space
and I found the whole ass wrong book
its about a farm??? I was reading space travel what did I do
#makes more sense why prof was like yah know i hate the author but damn its a good spook#oh hp lovecraft#ill piss on your grave but also#i can like#relate to being terrified of the world but he handled it in the worst god damn way possible#the evil is not only in what you dont understand its in you to!! much better sorce of stories#my goal in life is to honestly do his shit better#which is setting myself up for failure#but like#cosmic horror is in us#its the fact we can do terrible things but other people Do Terrible tihngs and trying to understand Why is a worse abyss than any darkness#because no matter Why they are doing something Now#understanding can Possibly help the future pervent things#or just cause another horror#this is not well thought thoughts but a man annoyed his hands hurt and he cant draw#aaaa#also if you read this far#any movie recs?? i want spook but not home intrusion unless its like- cartoony?? does that make sense?? or like Really Dramatic not possibl#not like Hush#is that the name?? she can't talk... or she can't hear??fuck i watched it awhile ago#i liked it alot but i also am jumpy enough so dont need help with That rn#i havent seen most#maybe i should just watch carrie
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also I had a breakthrough today that I had in fact overthought a Specific Problem to Death and that I had created a monster in my own mind and that’s why it felt like I was being eaten alive every time I tried to solve it.
#not to put too fine a point on it but that’s what happened with the whole is Maria going to become a nun question tbh#and I needed a counselor to say to me objectively and yet also crucially without any knowledge of me or my past:#you have overthought this and now you’re terrified of it#anyway it’s so obvious but it came home to me today. slowly.#like it was just like. Oh. You did it again#you’re terrified of this because you have thought of every possibility and every outcome and every twist and turn and shadow—-#until it has become a bloated demon in your mind that is totally separated from reality#while made up of real facts and details! and tbh I know it’s a common problem#but the anxiety chokehold I can put myself in is something that is so impressive and so disturbing#I can render myself absolutely helpless through the meanderings of my own thoughts#and what makes it worse—immeasurably worse—is that I get OUT of problems through careful thought and analysis#I’m programmed that way#so I can’t escape it by the usual means. I have to back away from the monster and see it and NAME it and then it can die away.#and only THEN can I apply my usual ways of going about things. I don’t know it just all clicked today#these past few days have just been bringing it all to a fever pitch for me#anyway I guess it’s also important to me that I still be allowed to be analytical about it!!! I have to use my brain!!!!!!!#in my desperation I have tried to shut it off to feel only with my heart. To try to catch the whisper of God’s voice in the wind#but tbh I am meant to use the gifts I have! But only in the right context#and that’s only after the demon has been killed or more accurately —deflated#my counselor has been so good about this tbh. she’s so matter of fact and blunt and salt of the earth and also she sees how my mind works#and wants me to be able to use it!!#so I’m just going to tell her that I did the bad thing with this other problem and can she help me find a way forward#ANYWAY THE MONSTERS TURNED OUT TO BE JUST TREES
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i did not expect to have my heart ripped right out of my chest while playing dlc for a five nights at freddy's game but here we are
#i started SOBBING when i got near the end holy shit#the scene where we deactivate roxy. roxy coming back to save cassie. gregory betraying cassie.#GLAMROCK BONNIE LAYING DEAD BEHIND HIS OWN ATTRACTION. he's been there since before the pizzaplex closed and i'm just. AUGH#roxy's voice when she realized she hurt cassie. monty being so goddamn ripped apart he barely has half his body anymore.#REPAIRING ECLIPSE AND HAVING THE OPTION TO REPAIR CHICA.#all the endings that have already been discovered. nobody coming to cassie's birthday. roxy being cassie's favorite and REMEMBERING HER.#i could go on and on. holy fucking shit i'm just devastated.#and it was actually scary???? the virus and the mimic are fucking terrifying esp when mimic has its tiger rock costume.#it hurt SO MUCH to play but it was so good i need more#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf security breach#fnaf ruin#fnaf ruin spoilers#security breach ruin#security breach ruin spoilers#ruin spoilers#my poor emotionally fragile self............ i am gutted#oh and also. eclipse's voice oh my god. i want them to hold me forever.
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YOU FUCKERS HOW DARE YOU END IT LIKE THAT--
#once again miss minutes is fucking TERRIFYING#i hate how cute the hot cocoa scene was#i have so many thoughts and yet i can't articulate SHIT#are we getting a mobius backstory episode next week#oh my god we have two episodes left#good thing loki didn't go out to fix the loom though... right?#also once again sylvie's hot as hell please marry me#and I am absolutely LOVING B-15 this season she's amazing#anyways i'm gonna go cry now#dude this episode was DARK#loki#loki series#loki spoilers#loki s2#loki season 2
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