#also their mom is just as insane as their dad but I digress

[theunmarkedtombstone]

Honey I Blew up the Kid (1992).

[moonshynecybin]

Sorry so random and hate to asking this like you’re google search engine but what is the deal with Vale and his parents lol

big question! im not sure how much you know so i'll generally cover as many bases as i can and sort of. gather some resources that might help you form a picture.

his dad: graziano rossi. former racer (his peak was finishing third in the 250cc class the year vale was born) who had to retire after some scary injuries (crucial for maximum vale neuroses). in terms of their relationship, first go peruse this webweave from @kwisatzworld. actually i frankly think theyre a better person to answer this question wholesale but i digress. important to note that vale straight up is like yeah he was not a good father lol. ALSO notable that graziano is asked what kind of son vale is and says 'one i can brag about to friends' which. okay. graziano also will not shut the fuck UP about vale in print (he was kind of the one to break rosquez not really being close friends anymore post-assen? for some reason??) which idk if my dad was constantly talking about me to reporters i would feel weird about that. like that is not something that i would enjoy. seems a bit like they have the sort of relationship dozens of us divorced children have with our parents where we can kind of only talk to our dad about sports.

additionally, his parents had him quite young (25 for graziano and in the thick of his racing career, unsure for his mom) and you get a sense that vale thinks they should not have done that.... he doesnt super call them 'mom' or 'dad', instead using their first names, he says they have a more 'friendly' relationship than parental, and apparently his dad and him just started saying i love you to each regularly uh. recently. heres a video of him talking about it (i get the sense the divorce exacerbated these issues as well). that being said i DO also think that vale is closer with his mom in general (she lived in his house for a long time! they lived together during covid as well!) (his mom is named stefania palma and shes a civil engineer, which i think kind ties into how journalists often mention that luca and vale talk about the bike like theyre engineers. i literally dont think that is coincidence, i think they got it from their super hot and smart mom...) heres a bit about her and graziano (x):

theres also LUCA. who is obviously his half brother (he has a few other half siblings on graziano's side, but they arent famous so we dont know as much. i get the sense they arent as close just by virtue of their difference in involvement w racing but its hard to say! its clear hes close with luca, ESPECIALLY after the academy really got going and luca got a bit older.) luca is born in 1997 when vale is 18 years old and just kicking off his career, so hes kind of never known a world where vale wasnt insanely famous. luckily and ironically his father is a sports psychologist. luca's story kind of ties in with stefania's (obviously), and here's a post about how some of the stuff going on in their lives mightve effected them and of course vale. idk why this became a luca treatise but hes important okay!!!! just a family with a lot going on that informs vale's whole deal (having much younger siblings and liking to teach perhaps as a result, his marriage feelings, his REPRESSION issues, how he shows love, how he self-protects, and a lot more. idk this is hardly comprehensive but hopefully it gives a little food for thought !

[cosmic-nopedog]

Could you possibly share more of your kirakira swap au... it is very inch resting to me!! (also- cute art :D)

THANK YOU, I AM GOING INSANE WITH NO ONE OTHER THAN MY BROTHER TO TALK ABT THIS OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDDD

ok ok so, its a very simple swap au as i've said and im gonna be shooo honest with youo, its ciel x ichika, i like the ship i think they are cute together SO ITS GOING TO HAPPEN, BUT ANYWAYS THIS IS GOING TO BE KINDA LONG

In this au, ichika is a fairy from strawberry mountain, and goes off to paris to learn about sweet making like ciel in the og, however unlike ciel, she goes alone and does learn from jean pierre and gets shot into the lime light, but the thing is that she kinda feels like somethings missing.

yeah she makes a lot of kiraru with her technique alone and her passion for sweets making but it feels a lil.. empty, she is a very lonely girl and at the beginning very clumsy [its still ichika cmon dsfjn vg] so she kinda also has this like BIG imposter syndrome thing going on, she masks it well enough for PR and what not but shes kinda worried that this all is just a big stroke of luck and some day shes going to inevitably fail.

I will say i do have kind of a storyline in mind so bear with me dfkjbnjkdf.

Anyways, she goes on her life in paris as Uzuki Ichika: Prodigy Patissiere [am still making the au so bear with me for there will be changes here n there] and nothing more, UNTIL, she runs into Usami Satomi [aka Ichika's mom in the og storyline] and they talk, and she learns that Satomi is a doctor and lives in strawberry mountain and all that stuff and shes in paris temporarily as part of her job, and i want them SOMEHOW i've yet to really think about all the details to develop a sorta soft ish guardian&kid relationship like, thats not ur kid but might as well be type thing.

ANYWAYS, after enough time [yet to be determined] i feel like ichika starts confiding in Satomi alot of the feelings she has going on and Satomi brings up the idea of taking a break and going back to like her home town, and Ichika does agree and all [BUT I WANT SOME REALISM HERE RIGHT not too much tho we still have fun,] but does bring up the fact that she probably wont have a place to stay if she does so [excuses cus she could very much so stay with the fairies] and CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG but a long time ago i did read something about how if you know like, a family in a country well enough they can like take u in for some time? like Adopt you so tospeak AGAIN I MIGHTVE HALLUCINATED THIS but if not yeah, THATS what happens.

So shes staying with the Usami's! yay! well just the dad cus Satomi does have to travel cus of her job n what not, and goes back to strawberry mountain to hopefully clear her head and maybe remember why she did all of this in the first place.

THATS THAT ON ICHIKA, which im going to be sho honest with you, shes the one i've like thought abt the most, mainly cus i like making the pink cures depressed kdsnbjkfdb BUT ALSO because shes in SUCH a situation and i find that inchresting.

I WILL ALSO SAY, im not swapping everyone, just ciel n ichika, mainly cus i find making ichika a fairy and ciel a cringe fail amateur patissiere very fun and inchresting BUT I DIGRESS.

NOW, AS FOR CIEL, shes a normal girl that has just moved into strawberry mountain, ysee, she is originally from strawberry mountain but moved out at some point in her life and decided to sort of move back in to take care of her grandmother who still recides in there, Rio also came along with her cus I LOVE MY SIBLING DYNAMICS OK.

SPEAKING OF, the way i see their dynamic is that they are very close and yes they stil have their shared interest in sweets and what not but ciel is more of a What happens if I double the amount of batter type interest and Rio is more of a Watches 3 bilion youtube videos on alot of recepies that he sometimes asks ciel if they can try out. Which ofcousre has a very diverse rate of success kdjfhbjbk.

They have the Passion and all the Feelings into it but Not alot of technical skill, I do think they meet Pekorin the same way Ichika met Pekorin in the og story, AND I DO WANT TO MAKE RIO A CURE, HE WILL BE A CURE I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

OH speaking of, i did kinda change Ichikas and Ciel's cure names, Ichika is now Cure Meringue and Ciel is now Cure Velvet.

AND THATS PRETTY MUCH WHAT I HAVE LIEK SOLIDIFIED AS OF RN!!!

I do have some liek spare thoughts here and there like, Ichika and Pekorin Have a sybling dynamic slash are actual sisters and at somepoint i want ichika to get stained in shadow maybe same with Rio but i have yet to figure out a cohesive storyline for that, BUT I WILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTT!!!

Also do NOT spoil me shit, I have NOT finished Kirakira Precure as of rn, IM CLOSE BUT NOT THERE YET.

LAST THING: i will call this AU very simply Strawberry Meringue Au

That is all.

[wutheringmights]

"Red, White, and Royal Blue" by Casey McQuiston is extremely dated. I know it was published in 2019, but spiritually this is a relic from 2013. This is a 2/5 for me.

The rest of this post is overwhelmingly negative, so skip if you don't want to see.

I wanted to like this book, but I couldn't buy into its escapist fantasy. I like silly romcoms, but this novel felt like it had to excuse every aspect of itself. "Don't worry about the love interest being a British prince! He also hates the empire!" Okay, but now you got me thinking about British imperialism so much I can't ignore it.

Don't even get me started on how American politics is handled. Again, I am more than willing to turn my brain off and just enjoy a lighthearted romance, but the narrative didn't want you to turn your brain off. This would be fine if it went beyond buzzword acknowledgements of systemic injustice and the cesspool of American politics. Yes, rich white men in power is an issue. Do you have any else to say besides that?

And the thing that really grinded on my nerves was the narrative's insistence that Alex was some kind of underdog (you know, to contrast, Henry's privilege). But Alex isn't an underdog! He's rich! Both his parents were lawyers before they became politicians. His dad owns a lakehouse. His mom remarried a tech billionaire. Alex is rich and his lifestyle is rich. If the story wanted to be about a smart-aleck rich boy-- great! I'd actually prefer it that way! But instead it's all about how he feels like an outsider compared to how rich Henry is. I know it's not at the same level, but I would have preferred some acknowledgement over this insistence that Alex is Just Like Everyone Else (this in particular reminds me of how Sasha Alsberg accidentally revealed how blinded she is to her own privilege in "Breaking Time", but I digress).

Some other miscellaneous thoughts:

No story gets to call itself enemies-to-lovers if they fall in love in the first 100 pages

A book gets a free pass to make one Star Wars or Harry Potter reference; any more and it starts to read like it was focus-grouped for mainstream nerds

At the very least they should reissue this book to remove the (and I am loathe to use this word) cringey Harry Potter references

The prose is insanely readable, which is a rare feat of skill. McQuinston can write, I just wish she didn't write this story.

I've seen a lot of people say that this is written like a fanfiction, which I initially was going to fight on principle; upon reading this, I can concede that this story is at the very least structured like a fanfiction

Specifically, I think this story started as Hamilton fanfiction. No, I will not elaborate on this

[ourceliumnetwork]

cake for breakfast was always a treat to me

growing up we didn't often have a lot of food in the house that i found palatable for breakfast. i still struggle to eat breakfast-type foods in general. cereal, eggs, toast, poptarts, bagels, oatmeal, unless i'm Hankerin' for them, i truly do not care for most anything you could count as a breakfast food. i'd eat them, when pressed, because there was nothing else available - we got Fun Cereals few and far between and i had to ration my portions because no one else rationed to share. My sister would have two bowls of cereal back to back but if i filled my bowl higher than the Serving Size dictated it should be, i'd get told i was eating all of the cereal and to save some for everyone else.

so even if we had food i enjoyed i wasn't allowed to eat it.

cake was different. We didn't have cake very often. Cake was for Special Occasions. (the food, not the band, the band Cake was for every day AND sundays, but i digress). You had cake in the house cause something Fun had just happened and so mom and dad were in a good mood and the goal was to get rid of the cake as fast as possible so it didn't go bad (and so we could get back on track with whatever diet mom and dad were following that month) so we were encouraged to eat more of it.

Cake for breakfast was special. Cake for breakfast meant that things were gonna be alright for a few days and i was allowed to actually eat more even if it *wasn't* cake I had that day. because calories were shared between us, so if everyone else was having Extra Fun Calories i was also allowed, even if it wasn't the same calories.

yes i know. this is probably fucked up. if this surprises you, that the way my family of origin worked is batshit insane, you've clearly never heard me talk about my family before lol.

I just learned last night that 4 out of the 4 other people currently in this house consider cake for breakfast meaning something is going wrong for them. and i can't comprehend that. in my head it's on the same tier as donuts (which were also a Special Occasion food) and danishes and breakfast pastries. how could it not mean that good things are happening because you have the ability to have cake in the house?

[snifflesthemouse]

A Letter To Harry

Dear Harry,

My name is Nunya Business. I just want to take the time out of my life to clue you in on something I had to learn the hardest of ways. If my life lessons can save you the pain and suffering I went through, while indirectly saving the rest of us the pain and suffering from hearing about your pain and suffering, so be it. Let me begin.

You see, Harry, my mom died when I was 25. She was 47. She was bedridden the last ten years of her life. So that means she was permanently confined to a hospital bed for ten solid years, beginning when I was 15. That also means I watched her die slowly for ten years. By the time I was 16, I was trained in wound care management. I was also working 40+ hours a week at a fast-food place and attending school whenever I could. Even though I missed a lot of school, I still carried straight As. I always had great grades in school; I was getting scholarship recruitment letters by the time I was 15. I was brilliant. Still yet, I dropped out of high school by the second day of twelfth grade.

Unlike the traumatic lifestyle of servants and wealth, I was brought up extremely poor. The state paid for our school clothes through clothing vouchers. My dad worked a full-time job from the time he was sixteen until he retired AFTER my mom died. But my mom never held a job, drove a car, got a GED or photo ID, and missed out on a lot of living. So, he was the only source of income until I was old enough to help with the medical bills. He was 18 years older than she was. He only kept working after he reached retirement age because she needed insurance, but I digress. Back to the poor me part of my letter.

Here I was. Sixteen, early into my budding painkiller addiction, working full time, essentially homeschooling myself, taking care of my mother, AND still hoping I could make it out of there. SPOILERS: I DIDN’T MAKE IT OUT OF THERE. You know why? I played the same hand you play now. The poor me, poor me, pour me cards. I started taking my mom’s pain pills for my migraines. One didn’t really go full blown migraine on me one day, and I got high. By the middle of my tenth-grade year, I was having four Percocet tens and a chocolate milk for breakfast. For lunch I had a nap after fighting in and out of nodding off high for the first four periods. Eventually, that drug addiction got insane out of hand. I went from prescription pain killers to shooting heroin within 5 years. I went from never having a detention to having a felony credit card fraud charge and ten years over my head. I didn’t have old money to buy my excuses. I went to prison.

Unlike you, Harry, I wasn’t able to go to immaculate rehabs or have my family bail me out of trouble. I wasn’t able to do hard drugs and become a binger alcoholic behind the scenes, then just “quit” without issue. Something tells me neither were you. I’ve met a ton of addicts and alcoholics. Both say the same. After a month of the same nonsense, the addiction was rooted. So please explain to me how you managed to escape the severities associated with heavy drug use and drinking without withdrawing or getting hooked. Seriously, because you’d be the first person impervious to addiction. Most all of us have to fight the fight of our lives to get and stay clean. I know, I’ve managed almost 6 years now. What about you?

No, like us regular folk, I had to go about sobriety the long, hard route. But of course, it cost waaayy more than you’d ever understand.

Your partying days in Nazi uniforms didn’t cost a thing compared to how much they can cost regular people. By 17, I was already shacked up with a psychopath ten years my senior who literally ended up killing my childhood best friend’s fiancé. Not even exaggerating. My ex killed my ex-best friend’s fiancé in the living room of the house I grew up in, in front of my mom and dad. A month before my mom died, actually. My ex-boyfriend did some major fuck shit to me, and I have a history of dating abusers, but I won’t get into that. Just know 50 Shades isn’t sexy to me and hearing old country music instantly makes my face hurt from getting full beer cans chucked at me… Oh and ya know what, Harry? Turns out if I kept dating psychopaths who hit me… the real problem wasn’t who I was dating. It was ME. But again I digress. Sorry Harry.

I lost my friend who was murdered by my ex at my parents’ home a month before my mother died and two months before I was sent to prison. I struggled with addiction from the time I was 16 until my last relapse 3 July 2015. I dropped out of high school because of my drug addiction, then dropped out of college after getting my GED and a scholarship. 

My mother first introduced me to pain pills. She didn’t realize what she was doing and all, but she just thought she was helping her daughter get through a migraine. I got hooked. I robbed everyone I ever loved and didn’t give two shits about the people I hurt. To this day, I still struggle with caring about people. But again, I digress.

My point is this, Harry. I’ve personally been through fifty times more shit than you have. I watched my mother die slowly over ten years. I watched her gasp for air and cry in the night for God to just take her out of this world so she’d not be in pain anymore. I have lost most everyone I hold near and dear to me simply because I failed to show any self respect, accountability, or acceptance. I didn’t have parents cleaning up my messes with money. I didn’t have castles and privileges to boot when the newspapers ran the stories where I was sentenced to prison. No. I had to face the music and learn the world could fucking care less about how I feel.

Now is time you learn this lesson, too. The world is not fair. What you feel is not important. All that matters is what you do with how you feel. Nobody, and I mean absofuckinglutely NOBODY gives two shits about how you feel; the only reason people watch is because they are nosey. The only reason Oprah makes shows with you is to exploit your story for financial gain, like some type of trauma porn. Your wife isn’t looking out for you if she’s letting you incriminate yourself like that on TV and all, either. I know what you are going through, as I have dated one of those. It didn’t end well for me, and it will not end well for you.

Final note, Harry. Your family in the UK have loved and protected you for your entire life. Everyone accommodated you in your naked billiards in Los Angeles and Calgary. They did more than you could understand. Before it’s too late, and they finally get tired of your repeated bullshit, and trust me Harry, they will… make up with them. If that means ditching the wife, ditch her. Because she’s going to ditch you soon enough.

Trauma isn’t a renewable resource, my love. People are tired of your greatest hits on repeat. Better start the plans to turn that wife into the second act soon or the checks will start bouncing faster than those moon bumps. Oh and another thing, man the fuck up! Everyone has problems. You are not special. You’re not even a spare anymore. You’ve been replaced on all that. So why the hell do you still hold onto your childhood the way you do? Or those titles like you do? Oh you must be a masochist. You must like it.

Sincerely,

Nunya Business

[mono-chrono]

Ilu. Info dump about something you like. The bee swarm is listening 🐝

oh boy where do i start

i have OPTIONS. Most of them are video game lore.

gonna be honest, i used to be able to spout every scrap of fact about the zelda series. Middle school my beloved/beloathed

buuuuut seeing as this blog is slowly turning into a fnaf blog lets just talk about that one and why i absolutely do not like the idea of vanny and vanessa being the same person

Reason 1. I'm probably just butthurt that my theory before the game's release wasn't really substantiated. They were just being so heavy handed and obvious about the fact that Vanny and Vanessa were the same (that. goddamn. freddy voice line in lasertag. it bugs me) I THOUGHT IT HAD TO BE A RED HERRING. And, like, surely I wasn't the only one

We don't really know what the original story would have been, but in the trailers it looked like Vanessa was going to help us, voice lines and all. It would have been a cool story if she was trying to both help and hurt Gregory, but again, I don't see it happening

Reason 2: LOST AND FOUND. Seriously. Guys. Why the hell would Vanessa record herself talking at a random child, threatening to call the cops, then edit it and smash cut to her being in a bunny suit. What would be the point. This is stupid for so many reasons, mainly, that would do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to help her plans! If they were the same person, why try to make an enemy out of both of them? Why not make Vanessa look good if the plan to kill Gregory in there didn't work, and why make the video AT ALL?????

Reason 3: Non lore related things. Things like having different voice actors, having completely different models with different heights and shapes, THAT STUFF

Reason 4: The tapes. Okay, me covering my hate but begrudging acceptance of SOME Gregbot theories will have to wait for some other time, but personally, I don't think that Greggy m'boy is patient 46. I also don't think Vanessa is. Vanessa has her own tapes, separate from patient 46 (if they were the same person, it would definitely be listed as the same patient, even if it is some alter ego), and we get some physical descriptors from both. One sits comfortably in the chair, one looks uncomfortable. One likes the flowers and the light, one doesn't.

And the backstory. People will often say that Vanessa doesn't have a dad named Bill, there wasn't an insane, traumatizing custody battle that drove her mom to do something even more traumatic, that it was all an act. I don't buy that. People say that because they think patient 46 is Vanessa, but the pure response that we hear Vanessa say in that therapist's tapes, that doesn't sound like acting. And if it is, give Vanessa a gig as an actress, because that would have to be a damn good and convincing performance, especially against a licensed therapist.

Now, you may all be saying that the writing in this game makes no sense anyway, which is fair! It totally doesn't! I could probably create a bottomless pit from all the plotholes it has, but there are conscious decisions made. The models and voice actors, who had to read the lines for the final draft of the game. Both of the voice actresses had multiple rolls, and while it would be unfair to take one and give it to another, it would make sense if they were the same characters.

So who is Vanny? Patient 46? My guess would be the Reluctant Follower from Help Wanted. Doing the bidding of PeePaw, watching, perhaps even tormenting Vanessa. I do think Vanessa is related to the Aftons (possible theories on that are complicated, though i may well point out that she has the same voice actress as Elizabeth and i do have my ✨opinions✨ on it), and that's mainly because of HOW Vanessa got hired, but I digress.

One last thing, while im as tired as everyone else about PeePaw, I wanna touch a little bit on the upper management. People often say Vanessa got her job from someone on high speeding through the process for her specifically, and say that it was Afton. Then, I would ask, HOW? My dude has been a rotting corpse for well over 30 years at this point and the company was left to it's co-owner Henry, who gave a badass speech then promptly died, so that leaves one question;

Who the fuck hired Vanessa?

[stevie-baby]

Indulge in my insanity for a bit, please.

You’re me. You had dreams as a kid where you saw yourself as an adult (in hindsight, you’re terrified with how accurately you invisioned how you’d look in your 20s. how did 6 year old you know that your hair would go from blonde/light brown and straight to dark brown and extremely curly after puberty? I digress.) In these weird dreams, you meet a band in a bar. You assume it’s the 70s because of the way you are all dressed and the way their music sounds, but something feels off about that assumption. You fall in love with the enthusiastic lead singer who you simply know as J. He’s got curly brown hair and he’s about the same height as you. You can’t remember his face when you wake up but you do remember every other detail in the dreams. Keep in mind, you are having them frequently from the ages of 6 to 13. In high school, you rarely get the dreams. You almost forget about them. Just before your senior year, you hear about a band called Greta Van Fleet. They’re from Frankenmuth, MI (hey woah! You’re parents almost moved you there in middle school and you’ve had a small fascination with the town ever since. That’s cool) They sound like a band from the 70s. That’s cool. You like 70s rock. You listen to Flower Power for the first time and immediately burst into tears. That’s weird. But anyway, you swear you’ve heard that song before, is it a cover? Nope. Weird. You move to Nashville for college. Why does everything here look familiar? You’ve never been here. You start have the dreams consistently again. You chalk it up as your brain seeking comfort in your childhood dreams. A few times when you not-so-legally hang out at bars, you almost run into that band you listen to sometimes (GVF). You just barely missed them, but that’s still cool. The dreams are starting to feel more real. You and J start acknowledging you’re in a dream. You start realizing that you look like you do in the dreams irl and you try not to freak out about it. Also, you’re in Nashville in the dreams. You’ve always been here. This whole dream situation is weird. The school year is over and you have to decide if you’re moving back to California with your dad or to Florida with your mom (you dropped out of school and are too broke to live on your own). You decide to go back to California for the summer and then to Florida in the fall. Right after you make your decision, you find out that GVF was having a show in Florida the week after you move out of the dorms. You move to California. You are pissed off because you remembered why you left California, you miss Tennessee, and you haven’t seen GVF in person yet depite listening to them for about two years and almost running into them a few times. It’s May, GVF announces a tour and you decide you absolutely must go see them. You impulsively buy tickets to see them in Nashville. You’re not going back for school, but you’ll be in Florida by the time they do their shows in California and you can go visit your only friend who you miss dearly. You keep having more dreams. You think it’s kinda funny that J is similar to Josh Kiszka. What a weird coincidence. It’s September now. You have another dream. You and J are sitting and talking and he suddenly just says “soon.” You’re like “what do you mean soon??” And he just repeats himself. The next day GVF releases a song called Always There, which mentions a woman in a dream. That’s weird. Very weird. But logically you know it has nothing to do with the dreams. More weird coincidences happen between the dreams and GVF. You posted about them on your blog a few times and the typical reaction is “wow your imagination is active”. At times you question whether or not you’re making it up, but why would you do that? The coincidences are making you feel like you’re going crazy and you hate it, so why would you make it up? It’s December 2020, Greta Van Fleet keeps posting “Soon.” How are you feeling?

[descendantofthesparrow]

Harry Hook x reader - abandoned

@marvelfanatic004

Could you possibly do a story about reader being Mal’s sister and pregnant with Harry’s baby during D3 and Mal doesn’t know when she says she’s going to shut the barrier? With lots of reader and Harry fluff!

You rubbed your swollen stomach, holding new life, staring at the broken tv screen in lady tramlines hair shop, as beasty boy proposed to mal…your traitorous sister who abandoned you…for three years.

Its been three years since that fateful day when mal, evie, Carlos, and Jay went to Auradon.

Two and a half years since she broke and came back, when she saw you, she seemed surprised, as if she had forgotten you.

During the planning of getting ben back, she begged you to go along with it and she would have evie take you back to Auradon.

You refused, not wanting to leave your friends…your family.

Then…then…

She had just…left. Like the cowardly traitor she was.

And now, now after THREE FUCKING YEARS, she was finally getting more kids off the isle.

You knew you weren’t going to be one of them, you didn’t bother to fill out an application, and you knew she would never choose you. She offered to give you a better life ONCE before giving up. A hero she was? Yeah right, more like a backstabbing villain.

You glared as the core four and ben climbed into mals new purple limo-like she needed more fancy shit, she was more Auradon than isle now, she’d gone soft, weak.

The strong hold on to their promises, not afraid to say what they thought, not afraid to step up and call attention.

Mal was weak, she broke every single promise, she jumped on the bandwagon, she cowered and stepped down, letting others do the hard part and then took all the credit.

Just like all the pranks you did when you were young and mal taking credit and you were just her little henchmen.

You were lucky that your mother didn’t like it.

She demanded that mal start thinking for herself, evil queens didn’t use someones else's plot to rule the world, evil was original, not a copy cat.

It was one of the few times that you were higher than Mal in your mother's view.

Dizzy skipped down the stairs, a bright smile on her face. “omg (y/n)! can you believe im going to auradon~!” you smiled at the happy 16-year-old, you held no ill feelings toward the young teen, she deserved to leave the deary isle.

“I do, you belong there sweetie” dizzy squealed, wrapping her arms around you, you hummed, giving her a tight side hug.

“When you get there you have to let me babysit okay!”

Your smile dropped, but you faked one when dizzy pulled back “of course, who else would I let take care of the little one?”

Dizzy giggled, grabbing her designs and crafts from around the room, stopping at one.

“oh!” she grabbed it and raced back over to you, holding out an interesting necklace.

“This is for you!”

It had red gems and (f/c) jewels, with silver and gold vines with leaves decorating the front, it looked like a tiara made for a fae.

“the red ones are Harry's color see, and the (f/c) ones are yours! I wanted to look like the trees of the fae like in that old book you showed me!”

You stared at it in awe “oh dizzy” you teared up, damn hormones, “I love it!” you hugged dizzy, careful of the baby bump.

“ill treasure it forever!”

Dizzy squealed “im so happy you like it! Oh!” dizzy’s aunt Anastasia came down the stairs, holding another one of dizzy’s suitcases

“come on diz, the limo is almost here”

Casting a look on the screen, you saw the barrier opening, the limo pulling in.

“aye, now love, I think its time we go home”

Strong arms wrapped around you, a thick Scottish accent purring in your ear. You sighed and nodded, grasping Harry's hand and letting him help you up.

“yeah yeah, let's go”

“bye (y/n)! bye, harry!”

“yeah yeah, bye ya runt”

“shush har, see ya dizzy!”

You exited the hair salon, entering the streets of the isle, some of the residents looking up and glaring but coward back when your eyes glowed bright (e/c) and harry flashed his hook, a crooked grin on his face.

You arrived at bargain castle, where you took the reigns after your precious sister turned mother into a lizard.

After the events of the coronation, many tried to salvage whatever they could from the castle, but you didn't let them, baring your sharp teeth and glowing eyes, the flames and shadows flickered around you. Making those who dared to try cower away and never return.

Harry was the only one to step through and manage to take something, and that caught your interest. Uma did too, glaring back just as harshly and stepping right up to you, sneering in our face.

You liked her, so you broke away from your sister's calling of ‘shrimpy’ and made peace with uma, the two of you ruling the isle.

And harry was one of your treasures, after some time, people had started to call him the consort of the isles queen.

Now, why would they be calling harry that? Because you and him had begun to…see each other? If that’s the right wording.

And no one dared to mess with the darker descendant of maleficent and the insane son of captain hook, so it was an easy match.

And it had been two years and 3 months since you had started..dating…and now, you smiled down at your protruding belly, felling the life move within.

You were pregnant with Harry's child. About 2 months pregnant to be exact. Still flat stomached enough to cover it with baggy clothes, mostly Harry's jackets and shirts.

Harry unlocked the main door, stepping in and leading you through, he quickly locked the door behind him and followed you up the stairs, and into the kitchen.

“so love” he started, plopping down on one of Cruella's old plumply chairs, sitting halfway on and his other half sticking up in the air.

“are we just gonna chill in here for the rest of the night or~” harry sang, wiggling his brows “we gonna have some fun!?” you sighed, walking over to him and sitting in his lap, laying your head down on his chest. “chill, im really tired.”

Harry hummed, sending vibrations to you “alright love” he wrapped his arms around you, snuggling into your hair and sighing happily, rubbing his thumb on your swollen stomach.

“boy or girl, the baby I mean?”

you thought for a second, before mumbling out “doesn't matter to me, ill love them even if they don’t have a gender.

Harry snorted, smiling softly “aye, I feel the same”

The two of you fell asleep on the plump couch, soft breaths, and faces tucked into the other.

---

“so my little fire fae!” your father strut around the room, being his extra self. “how's your life been~?”

now, lemme explain a thing, you had a much better relationship with your dad than mal did since you went out of your way to see him and he kinda just grew used to you and stopped trying to force you away, becoming a semblance of a real father. 

You groaned, flopping into his chair and making a fart sound.

“that bad huh?”

“being pregnant sucks!!!” you moaned, pouting at your dad, who messed with his tall fire blue hair. “how’d you deal with mom when she was pregnant with me and mal?”

Hades barked a laugh “I didn’t! she had her” he made finger quotations “friends help”

You snorted, aka the people who would cower below her and the Tremaine sisters, sounded like the fairy bitch, but you digress “so how is harry?”

You smiled, you could talk about for hours “good, he hooked a couple people who tried to get in the castle to get me yesterday”

You sat up, clapping your hands “oh! Know what I heard~”

Hades slumped his shoulders and sighed exaggeratedly “what?!”

You grinned, teeth sharp “you tried to get out~”

Hades snuffed “yeah, didn’t work”

He turned, strutting up to you and tossing his scarf around your neck “now if you would be so kind, it's my nap time~”

You rolled your eyes, swinging your legs around and standing, bumping your fist into your dad's torso.

“yeah yeah, sleep well”

----

You watched as harry lept out of the barrier, catching his eyes as he turned back, he seemed to send you a message with those ocean blue eyes of his

‘I will come back, for both of you’

You nodded back, watching as uma emerged and the chaos ensued, you also caught her eye, and her mouth dropped open slightly at your slightly protruded lower torso.

You nodded at her, telling her to go.

You watched them all walk away, seeing Harry constantly glancing back before he became a tiny dot in the distance.

before pink smoke started to gather around you, you took a step back, eyes widening,

“wha-“

Everything went black.

---this is gonna be a 2 parter btw---

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: HILLBILLY ELEGY

I ACTUALLY WATCHED THIS MOVIE Y’ALL. I promised I would watch some Oscar movies instead of prestige TV shows with bad red wigs so I sorta did that: I watched Oscar bait. Because lordt knows this movie is not winning any Oscars (and if it does, it is truly the asterisk Oscars). THIS YEAR YOU GUYS. There is so much to discuss in this movie. Yes, the wigs too. Also there are lots of spoilers but here’s the thing: THIS MOVIE IS AWFUL AND YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY NOT WATCH IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES AND INSTEAD JUST READ THIS REVIEW. I WATCHED THIS HORROR SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! YOU ARE WELCOME! 

We begin in Kentucky 1997. AND EVERYTHING IS JUST SO KENTUCKY 1997. All landscapes/cars/people are beige and broken and depressed. We meet JD who is good at biking and saving turtles and spending the summer with his messed up family. HE IS ALSO A TERRIBLE ACTOR AS IS THE OLDER VERSION OF HIM. Important note: I did not read this book and the real JD is an awful Libertarian asshole and nothing about his story, his book, or this movie should be supported. I AM HERE FOR THE WIGS, Y’ALL. MOVING ON!

As promised, Glenn Close as JD’s grandma MAMAW (YES THAT IS HER CHARACTER NAME) looks exactly like Gene Shalit. A friend of mine made this comparison and I cannot unsee it. Amy Adams, straight off (ok maybe several years off?) deglamming for Sharp Objects is just completely frizzed (and kinda strung) out. These wigs are truly abominable as is this film. Anyway, they leave Kentucky and go back to Ohio where they live and where it is somehow more depressing than Kentucky. 

But ok the wig, y’all. Amy Adams hair is is as shitty and unmanageable as her character which might have been a choice? Still, this wig is a tangled, dried out nightmare that cannot be defended (nor can this character’s child abuse and drug problems). Within moments of returning to Ohio, Amy Adams scolds her child for allowing a gifted dog to pee on her wall to wall carpeting and then the cops have to break up a car slap fight (of her slapping her child!) that spills out into a neighbor’s house. SHE MIGHT BE THE WORST MOM IN HISTORY BUT SHE SHOULD DEFINITELY BE ARRESTED FOR WIG CRIMES.

ONTO GLENN CLOSE - SHE LOOKS LIKE GENE SHALIT. THE END. Whoever approved this wig is a huge fan of American film critic Gene Shalit sans mustache. It is the only possible explanation. AND THIS PATCHY MAKEUP. I CANNOT YOU GUYS. I realize that everyone was aiming for deglam Oscars but they went too far. 

ANYWAY. This film flashes between 1997 and 2011, where older JD (again also a terrible actor) is somehow in law school at Yale (OK?) and dating Freida Pinto who this film claims is normal law school age (FUN FACT: she’s 37). Older JD kind of has his life together other than the fact that all the snobs of law school cannot deal with this hillbilly kid who doesn’t know what a salad fork is. And then JD’s sister (played by Haley Bennett aka offbrand Jennifer Lawrence who I actually prefer more) calls and says that MOM IS IN TROUBLE PLEASE RUIN ANY LAW PROSPECTS AND COME HOME EVEN THOUGH MOM IS ABSOLUTELY THE WORST. AND HE DOES YOU GUYS!

Amy Adams’ 2011 wig/makeup/everything is probably the visualization of 2020? I assume this wig was made from leftover parts from Glenn Close’s Gene Shalit wig grafted onto a Halloween fright wig. It could very easily work for a swamp witch costume if you didn’t care about the quality of your swamp witch wig. IT IS THE WORST AS IS SHE. So she was in trouble because she overdosed on heroin...of course she did. After driving all night to get to Ohio, JD gets a call for a second interview at an important law whatever and just HAS TO GET BACK TO NEW HAVEN in the next like 6 hours which still feel like 600. The whole time he’s dealing with Amy Adams and her fright wig, it is a race against time to see if he’ll make it back and secure his future. I guess this is the plot of the movie? I could honestly not tell you. Basically the whole film (if you can call it that?) is strung together vignettes of strung out Amy Adams and yelling Glenn Close that never really add up to anything? BUT THERE IS SO MUCH YELLING ALWAYS. It’s like the opposite of a slow burn - it’s just constant flames and not the cool gay kind.

In any case, we flash back to the ‘90s where Amy Adams’ wig is basically everything Tonya Harding ever hoped and dreamed for (other than that Olympic medal...also Amy Adams would have been a much better casting choice in I, TONYA which had vastly superior wigs BUT I DIGRESS). We see how this drug habit developed - Amy Adams was a nurse and hoarded pills! This leads to the most truly outrageous film sequence I have seen in a long time where high as hell Amy Adams roller skates through the halls of the hospital where she works in her damn nurses scrubs and obviously immediately gets fired. Also her dad dies! Also she tries to kill herself and ends up screaming bloody murder (also covered in blood) in the middle of street and then goes to rehab (rehab doesn’t work). And then gets married to some rando. And then she gets some new job and needs JD to lend her some pee so she can still be a nurse. This all happens in the course of like 10 minutes.  Like I said, this movie is constant insane vignettes - it’s like 100 plots at once and also no plot at all.

And then JD - definitely out of nowhere - develops a gang of terrible drug addicted teenage friends (sure!) who steal/crash cars and make everyone super pissed at JD. ALSO! For reasons unknown or ever explained, Glenn Close ends up in the hospital herself and then has the realization that only she can save JD from his effed up life AND TEARS ALL THE IVS OUT OF HER ARM AND STORMS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL WITH NO CONSEQUENCES OR EXPLANATIONS AS TO WHY SHE WAS THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! YOU GUYS. 

Also! JD tries to steal a graphing calculator for school from Radio Shack (this is for sure the most 90s sentence I’ve written in a while!) AND GLENN CLOSE IS PISSED! She lays down the law and also buys the graphic calculator herself even though that means they have to live off meals on wheels. BUT! Then he gets the best grade of the entire class on his math quiz and I DEMAND TO KNOW HOW HE KNEW HE HAD THE BEST GRADE IN THE ENTIRE CLASS AS THIS IS NEVER EXPLAINED OR SHOWN AND I NEED ANSWERS! Regardless, the graphing calculator not only saved JD’s grade point average but maybe set him on the path to Yale??? The concept that consumerism is the only thing that will help you as a “hillbilly” is really troubling and bespeaks the issues with this work of non-fiction as a whole. Anyway this movie really want you to know that GRAPHING CALCULATORS SAVE LIVES!!!

There is also a wig battle royale between Amy Adams and Glenn Close wherein there are absolutely no winners (but we, the viewer, definitely loses most!) It is honestly unclear to me how this fight ends (or how any fights end in this movie) because every interaction turns immediately into a fight and when said fight reaches its zenith, the movie cuts away to another vignette! Regardless, the wigs are complete garbage AS IS THIS MOVIE.

Back in 2011, Amy Adams refuses to be admitted to a rehab facility and older JD drives her back to her druggie boyfriend’s house which looks like this and I was like...hold up where have I seen this house before?

The answer is: 2010′s THE FIGHTER ALSO STARRING AMY ADAMS DEGLAMMING HERSELF FOR AN OSCAR SHE DIDN’T WIN! Ok actually in comparison, these houses aren’t that similar other than they are depressing houses with multitier front porches BUT STILL. 

Anyway, JD leaves Amy Adams and her sad swamp witch wig at some random motel where nothing is resolved between them at all and then he drives all night back to New Haven whilst talking to Freida Pinto on the phone (SHE NEEDS TO SLEEP TOO, DUDE! HOW DO YOU THINK SHE IS PLAYING 14 YEARS HER JUNIOR! SLEEP!) And then...he does get to the interview and....the movie ends!! WHAT!TRULY AND FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART: WHAT DID I JUST WATCH AND WAS IT A MOVIE? I STILL DON’T KNOW!

There is an epilogue of pictures of the real people and you guys: MAMAW LOOKED NOTHING LIKE GENE SHALIT. Also why do I even care about these real people???? Yes the real JD made something of himself....he wrote the book on which this movie is based and became a Libertarian asshole and worked with Peter Theil?!?! OK??? I guess the full story is in the epilogue? But this movie absolutely begins and ends nowhere and in between we are treated to a lot of nonsensical yelling and terrible, awful, no good wigs. I IMPLORE YOU: DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!!! MAYBE WATCH SOME YOUTUBE CLIPS OF GENE SHALIT INSTEAD! 

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

[okaybutlikeimagine]

The shovel talk prompt is so cute. I was wondering if you could do one where the kids or Joyce gives billy a shovel talk since Steve’s dad defiantly wouldn’t do it.

(heyo dears, the post we’re talking about is right here!)

I fuckin love this and you KNOW they both would but in very very different ways.

Bc with Joyce, it’s still very motherly and a lot more gentle than Hop, but also Extremely Serious.

Bc i like to think Joyce has known Steve since he was a very little kid. Like… her kids have always gone to school together and she went to school w/ Steve’s parents. and she doesn’t really like steve’s parents like… at ALL. and she kind of thought Steve was mean (bc he was, guys. Love our babe, he’s a gem, but 1st season he was a jerkwad w/ little to no self awareness and that’s why i love his growth bc he was a teenage boy who grew from his mistakes and i love that for him♥) but he’s softened up in the past year and he babysits all of the kids and it just means a lot to her. She knows she can trust Will in the hands of Steve and that will forever and always mean the world.

And of COURSE she knows she can trust Billy too, but she’s known Steve longer and she’s watched him grow up and she’s seen the way he’s grown and she’s just… so proud of him. She’s so incredibly proud of him. He’s such a good kid and he has a good heart and Billy is also a very good kid with a very good heart (and she will defend that stance till the day she dies) but he can be a bit… rough. She knows it. He’d probably admit to it too. He’s just a little rough and tough and Steve is a very soft boy and Joyce worries.

So she definitely sits Billy down and talks to him about it. She puts a motherly hand on his knee like she always does when she has serious talks with him. She’s very gentle about bringing Steve up.

And then she squeezes his knee a little tighter than normal and says: “Now don’t do anything to harm Steve, alright? Because you’ll have a lot of upset people on your hands, and one of them will be me.”

She’s stern. Billy just kind of… laughs nervously.

But the KIDS… ohgod guys, the kids.

The kids would devote their lives to protecting Steve if they needed to. I’m thinking that Knight guard at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade who loyally guards the grail w/ his life. I’m thinking of them forming a transformer like thing, all of them becoming a different part of the body so they can ward off evils and wrongdoers. I’m thinking something along the lines of London Tipton’s father’s body guards who form a literal blockade around him so you never see his face. Like, imagine these lil children banding together to form a little square around Steve, blocking him from the rest of the world so that no one can touch him or even look at him w/o going through them first. (There’s a scene where London dances w/ her dad except the body guard dudes don’t really move so she’s just holding his hands and all of the body guard dudes are moving side to side as they dance and it’s Hilarious and i just want to put that image into your heads but w/ the kids around Steve and Billy pouting bc whythefuck isn’t he allowed to see him goddamn boyfriend???)(anyway, i digress)(and might be making some references you don’t understand goodness i’m so sorry)

okaY so the kids are all at Mike’s house playing DnD or being dorks or whatever it is 14 yr olds do in a group alone. Or at least, that’s what Billy thinks. He’s really not sure what’s going on, he doesn’t pretend to understand their little shenanigans, he listened to Will rant about DnD character types for about 2 hours last week and his brain still feels a little fried by it so he just…….. He lets it be. All he needs to know is when to drop them off, when to pick them up, and when to tune them out just enough to where he doesn’t feel like a total jackass. Really, only w/ Will though bc Will is his favorite and he’d never wanna upset Will.

Anyway, he’s at Mike’s house, knocking on the door, here to pick Will and El up, when Mike opens the door and ushers him inside immediately.

“Hi Billy come in! We uhhh… we need you to help us… decide something.” Mike says lamely. Billy’s so unconvinced it’s insane.

“Decide something? Seriously? Since when have you nerds ever wanted my opinion on anything?”

“Well uh… this is a weird situation and we need your help.” Dustin says in what he probably thinks is sweet but to Billy is actually just very irritating, but he turns his attention to Dustin anyway.

Billy rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. “Whatever, what do you need?”

“Uhhhhhhh…. Now Mike!”

And suddenly, Billy’s world is black and very fabric-y. He’s been blindfolded. It’s very dumb and Mike probably would have struggled if he wasn’t Billy’s exact height so Billy starts wriggling and struggling and reaching for the blindfold when he feels someone grab his hand.

“It’s alright, Billy. We’re just going downstairs.” Will’s calm, soft voice says as he pulls him in some direction. Billy follows with a lot less struggle. He doesn’t wanna hurt Will.

And in a few minutes, Billy’s being pushed into a chair. He’s pretty sure he hears voices quietly bicker over tying him up but the consensus seems to be a “no” on that one bc soon he’s gaining sight again.

His vision clears from it’s blinded blur to see a kid w/ a mop of curly hair in front of his face.

“Hello Billy.” He says like he’s intimidating or something.

“Hi Billy!” El says extremely cheerfully. Dustin turns his head to shush her.

“El! Sh! We’re supposed to be intimidating!”

“Ohhhhh…. Intimidating?”

Max chimes in. “Like, scary.”

“Oh!” El says in understanding, making her best angry face and thinking way too hard and, very suddenly, exploding a lightbulb. She shrieks.

“Sorry…”

“It’s alright El.” Will says kindly, walking towards a closet. “Mike’s mom keeps extra lightbulbs in the closet.”

“Will!” Mike hisses “We’re busy right now!”

Will hits Mike with a silencing look. “I think you guys can handle this.”

Mike pouts. “Why are none of you helping us?” He looks to the corner where Max and Lucas are sitting, Lucas on the arm of a lounge chair and Max on the seat.

“We’re… supervising.” Lucas says over a sip of his soda.

“Yeah, we’re just making sure this dumbass doesn’t get murdered for being stupid.” Max says, gesturing to Dustin who makes a very loud noise of indignation. Max shrugs.

And Billy?? Is tired as all hell. Kinda just wants to leave. Really, he could leave and these little twerps probably wouldn’t even notice. They didn’t tie him down or anything, he’s just sitting in a chair watching these children fumble like idiots trying to be intimidating.

But…. he indulges them. He thinks it’s kind of entertaining. Sure, he could be doing a lot more w/ his day, but seeing these kids be dumb is still vaguely enjoyable. Plus, he likes El and Will and Max and he thinks sitting here for their sake might be worth it maybe.

So he sits and he watches and he listens to Mike and Dustin bicker about how to “interrogate a witness”

“We’re not interrogating him, we’re intimidating him!”

“Well you gotta use the same tactics, right?”

To the point where Max heaves a bit sigh and shoves them aside so she’s standing in front of Billy, sitting in her hip w/ her arms crossed.

“Alright Billy, look. We know you’re dating Steve. And we’re fine with you dating Steve.” She gives a hard look to Mike and Dustin, who look about to chime in w/ opinions of their own, but wither under Max’s gaze. “All we’re saying is we need to set some ground rules here.” Max says as she turns back to Billy. “Number one-”

“Don’t hurt Steve!” Dustin all but screams, causing Max to sigh with a roll of her eyes.

“Alright, yes. Rule number one: Don’t hurt Steve.  He’s like… family at this point. He’s super cool and nice to all of us and we care about him so don’t hurt him.”

“Or else I’ll hurt you!” Dustin pipes up again LOUDLY.

“Or Dustin will talk your ear off and probably accidentally spit on you while he does it.” Max says to a chorus of snickers and one very loud “Hey!” from the subject of her teasing.

“Rule number two: don’t be too…. Gross around us.” Max makes a face. “Like, if we have to witness you two kissing more than once a week, that’s excessive.”

At that is where Billy scoffs. “Are you serious?”

“Yes. at least for those of us who don’t live with you. And Number three: I don’t wanna hear ANYTHING about you guys… sleeping together.”

Everyone audibly gags at the thought. Billy is full on laughing now.

“Wow, such a kid you can’t even say the word fu-”

“NONE OF IT. Not even in passing or anything bc you guys accidentally talk too loud. I don’t want to be subjected to any of that.” Max is adamant about it, sealing it with a punch to his shoulder. Billy just puts his hands up in defeat.

“Yeah, fine, whatever. Like I wanna talk about my sex life with a bunch of twerps.”

Billy is thoroughly entertained by the faces of the kids, all looking absolutely mortified, Will’s face blushing like crazy, El’s head tilted bc she doesn’t understand.

Billy gives Max a look.

“Can I go now?”

Max shrugs, eyebrows furrowed bc she’s mad she had to hear the word sex come out of her brother’s mouth. He’s so grossly brazen all the time.

“Yeah, whatever. Just be nice to Steve.”

Billy pats his own knees and gets up, gesturing to El and Will to follow him.

“Let’s go, punks.” He says, the two of them following, Will’s face still red and El’s eyes a little less confused bc she doesn’t really care anymore. They say goodbye to their friends before following Billy out the door.

The three of them leave behind 2 very loud and complaining boys (Mike and Dustin), but it sounds like Max puts them in their place. Billy chuckles as he slips into his car.

[obsidiancreates]

I want to get a makeup collection, with like lots of lipsticks and eyeshadow palettes and lip glosses and blushes and things.

But.

I spend my money.

On books and snacks.

Like I think my biggest category I spend money on regularly is snacks at Target. The Pizza Hut breadsticks they sell at their little cafe area, Oreos, and Lays Stax Sour Cream and Onion (look I like Stax more than Pringles okay Pringles have a weird aftertaste and I don’t like their texture and they leave a weird feeling in my mouth but Stax are nice and thick and also just taste better to me).

It’s not much but it adds up, man.

I don’t buy books often but when I do, like, they’re over $10 a pop! That’s a lot when you don’t have a source of cashflow! I was going to get a job as a hostess at the restaurant my dad works at, but upon further observation he decided that no, no he did not want me dealing with that.

So now I’ve gotta wait, I guess. Because I can’t get a job that would conflict with their schedules either, because we have one working car and Mom needs it most and there’s no way in hell I’d ever be allowed to use public transportation to get anywhere. And I genuinely don’t believe I would be capable of driving safely on my own, I am way too distractible and inattentive. And also I doubt my ability to remember how to drive a car. I’ve never tried remembering. But I think... I would struggle a lot.

Anyway. Wouldn’t work out even if I could drive myself around because only one car and zero chance of them ever allowing me to use a bus or something.

I do have the recycle stuff, but that’s like 5 bucks at a time which- look even cheap makeup is expensive my guys. Three bucks for a brush is over half of a five dollar bill’s worth of money, that’s- that’s insane.

And I do get $10 whenever I help Mom with a clean but she hasn’t been able to pay me and my brother that for a while because of the holidays and also life is expensive and she and dad do not get paid nearly enough for what they do because the economy is fucked-

But I digress.

Anyway yeah sorry didn’t mean to make this a rant, I’m just sad because I want to play with tons of makeup and fun colors and put colors all over my face but I can’t because it costs money and I do not have that.

[ajapablog]

Corona Chronicles I

Day two of social isolation entailed drinking copious amounts of coffee to suppress my appetite so I don’t gain tonnes of weight (very easy to do given that our pantry is overflowing), grading, doing laundry, drinking beer, making and eating pizza (I’m telling you, I am going to blow up like a balloon in the next few weeks unless I stick to one meal a day) and reading random news. I did not get any writing done. So here I am faux-writing to get rid of the guilt. I want to see if I can write a blog post every day till things get slightly more normal. 

In the News:

The man who caught the virus again:  A 40-something-year old Mr. Wang of Hubei, China who took a full month to recover from the virus was tested positive again. See: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8055857/Coronavirus-patient-recovered-disease-tests-positive-four-days-later.html

Americans try to buy-out scientific knowledge on potential vaccination against the virus:  A German company has been offered huge sums of money by the United States for breakthrough scientific knowledge on vaccination against the virus. This bothers me because this is a pandemic and scientific knowledge should be shared. Although, because I live in the US, if I get Covid 19, I might have a good shot at inoculation. I remember that in the Early Modern Period, China would hire experts and pay copious amounts of money to all kinds of Europeans for their superior cartographic skills. Things don’t seem to change much, do they? See: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/15/world/europe/cornonavirus-vaccine-us-germany.html

The virus mutates: Viruses are the worst. They map on to our genetic information and they mutate making them utterly difficult to fight. The reason they are so stubborn is because they become a part of our evolutionary journey. The ones that mutate have no cure. They have the possibility of destroying us and destroying themselves in the process, unless they jump species, which this one seems to do fairly easily. This stupid virus might outlive our entire species. Arrrgghhhh. See: https://www.todayonline.com/world/chinese-studies-link-quarantines-coronavirus-mutations-may-make-it-more-insidious

The virus stops us from going out:  JB Pritzker, the governor of Illinois ordered all bars and restaurants closed, effectively instituting a shutdown. I have mixed feelings about this: not only because I miss going out but because I think a lot of people live on tips. But on the flip side, Pritzker’s critique of the federal government was scathing. I’d take Chicago over New York, a progressive governor over a loony bin TV star turned head of state any day. See: https://chicago.cbslocal.com/2020/03/15/gov-pritzker-announces-closure-of-all-illinois-bars-and-restaurants-effective-monday-due-to-coronavirus-crisis/

Italians Sing Against Social Isolation:  I feel terribly sorry for Italians. I texted my Italian friend asking if her family is alright (she’s in France herself with her husband) but she seemed slightly annoyed that I asked. Maybe she has been getting that question a lot so I didn’t push it. She told me they are in quarantine and doing okay, I left it at that. But the most heartening news is that Italians sang from their windows to each other fighting against social death and isolation. My mom who recently discovered Bella Ciao was delighted to report that Italians ironically sang this resistance song filled with imagery of death and martyrdom in these dark hours. Speaking of which, maybe this is the time to watch Money Heist on Netflix. See: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxakLRW9oZ4

The Runaway Nagpur Bride:  Everyone has been talking about her. Apparently, a google techie and his newly wed bride (25 year old *eye roll*) went on a vacation around Europe. The guy started feeling sick. Before he even got tested, his wife ran away. She (what a fucking idiot!) took a plane, a train, a bus and an auto rickshaw and went all the way back to Agra to her parents, exposing thousands, if not millions, of Indians to the virus. The Indian health authorities had a tough time tracing everyone who could have come in contact with her. Furthermore, when her parents evaded the attempts from authorities to retrieve and test her, the district magistrate had to issue a warrant and she was finally “captured,” tested (positive) and isolated.  What a nightmare! But also as I was telling a friend: very Indian. In the small pox epidemic of 1889, Indians kept running away from hospitals where they were forced to stay in isolation. See: https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/agra/techie-had-not-tested-positive-when-his-wife-left-bengaluru-google/articleshow/74618637.cms

Love in the time of Corona:  I like the internet’s play on Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s famous novel Love in the Time of Cholera. I, unfortunately, have not read the entire book; my dad is a big Marquez fan but I don’t think I understand magic realism too well. I digress. The internet’s play on Marquez’s book is great because it reminds us that we are after all, human, all too human. I don’t think I would’ve liked to live alone during these times, I would’ve gone insane with existential dread. I might hate my roommates at the end of this but I am grateful that they exist right now. I think I feel some kind of love towards them. Death makes eros and desire for life (which i call love) all the more urgent and dire. I am scared of dying alone and unloved or dying without having loved enough.  I call my parents every morning and every night before I go to bed. I worry about my sister. I tell myself that if I emerge out of this, and the world still exists in some form that it does now, I want to have a child. I don’t have illusions or expectations of love from any man. They are nice but I probably confuse them and antagonize them. So I don’t expect them to understand the bizarre mess that I am. Ah well. I want to have a child, with or without a man, if I survive this. (I hope my parents don’t read this.) I am slightly peeved that this virus will most likely ruin my plans to go to India over the summer to do my research, work my summer job. I guess I might just have to wait till next summer to go back. 

For now, I have to go to a meeting tomorrow. I really dread getting out of this house. More updates soon. 

Bella Ciao. 

[adecila]

Game of Thrones – A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - 8x02 episode analysis (kind of)

…or the episode we should have gotten last week.

And we’re back! I am not here to shit on last week’s episode I actually enjoyed it very much, if you just take it for what it was, but! I cannot help but remark how much better episode 2 has been to us… the writing was very very good and rich, and in character, and it finally feels like GoT and… I honestly don’t know what happened in episode 1. But moving on…

As you can already tell, this is going to my personal summary, thoughts and analysis of episode 02 of season 8. Going to put it all under a cut – spoilers, you have been warned.

Are you an Oathkeeper or on Oathbreaker? Or the Jaime Fucking Lannister Fest

Listen I am not calling this a trial, because it is not. Yes I know they call it a trial in the BTS and Inside the episode.

Dany’s speech about Jaime’s deeds against House Targaryen is very good. As I have mentioned in my preview analysis, this is the first time (third time is a charm ha) that Jaime and Dany speak to one another. She doesn’t know this man. This man tried to kill her and he killed her father.

I got right half of the stuff at least, for what it’s worth. Tyrion looks soooo sooo bad. LIKE YOU KNEW YOUR SISTER? Oh the glare!!! If looks could kill, Tyrion would be dust. LiStEn, Tyrion, honey. Sit down. Jeez, read the room, you are not making it better. Dany is right - why should she trust this man? And Sansa is right there with her… until Brienne speaks. 

Gwen called Brienne’s speech something “almost like a declaration of love” and I think that is so beautiful it hurts. Not a Braime fan, but hey you got fed fam, I am happy for you! I already mentioned in my live blogging that it was either incoherent or just plain retcon to forget that Sansa sent Brienne to KL because she thought Brienne would kill her if it meant a showdown with Arya. But I digress. 

I find it very interesting how Jaime didn’t apologise and his cojones to say so because “we were at war” - and I get it, my dude, Ser Hot Stuff, we all know all is fair in love and war, but I guess it would be ooc for him to apologise. Great delivery, I don’t particularly like NCW but this scene? Top notch. I rate it one doggy style fuck out of one, but so good your legs are wobbly and you can barely find the energy to plop on your bed afterwards. 

The things we do for love… and Bran is back with the fucking shit stirring drama. We stan Bran Starkashian. 

I find it interesting since this is also Dany’s chance to show how she rules - Lady Sansa says her opinion, which surprises Dany. Then she turns to Jon, who the entire time has been very very quiet. Like the kind of quiet you are when you have the biggest hangover and you are stuck in class and you just want it to be over with. So Jon says what he could say to get the fuck out of there. “We need every man we can get.” So Jaime is given his sword back after Grey Worm literally gives him the I AM WATCHING YOU BITCH glare. 

But Jon’s chair is not facing forward, it is slightly oriented towards Dany’s. Notice how he doesn’t look at her, even when she addresses him directly. She gets up and everyone does so afterwards FINALLY SOME FUCKING RESPECT and she turns to Jon… and he doesn’t even look at her… and my baby looks heartbroken because he just ignores her *coughs* As soon as the meeting ended, he rushed out, not giving her a chance to say a word. *coughs*

In defence of Jon… Know what, we’ll talk about Jon later, when we get to the reveal. 

Oh and Bran totes doesn’t care about Jaime enough to expose him in front of the entire Great Hall. Because ya know, he is a drama queen, but he keeps his cards close, he either already has a plan for Jaime or as he said, and as I have predicted from the preview, it serves no purpose to expose Jaime for what he did to Bran. Like just click on it and read it. Good that Bran called him out on his apology naaah bitch you don’t get to go holier than thou here. It is what it is. 

Me at Bran this episode:

Jaime and Tyrion’s conversation is very interesting, not only about Dany in general whether she is worthy or not, and Tyrion seems to be team Dany. Was it just me or Tyrion more like whispered the part where he talks about Cersei’s baby. Also also listen Jaime, unless you’re suddenly a gynaecologist how the fuck do you know she is not lying? I loved how Tyrion called Jaime out on the fact that he loved Cersei despite knowing full well what and who she was. Dude let’s call it what it was. Don’t play coy now. 

Ding ding ding Tyrion mentions marching to KL and killing Cersei … and that’s all I am gonna say about it.

Jaime x Brienne wow this ship is getting so fed - enjoy babies ! And I loved how Brienne was suddenly WHY ARENT YOU INSULTING ME I DONT KNOW HOW TO INTERACT TO YOU !!!! Brienne is leading the left flank and Jaime wants to be led by her. Keep in mind for next week’s episode! I am so proud of my son Pod, I am basically proudmom!Brienne tbh. 

The episode in which Dany gets a lot of counsel - because that’s also the type of ruler she is 

Tyrion x Varys x Jorah vs Dany - Dany gives the best scolding ever tbh. Moms, take notes, because look at Tyrion’s face. He knows this Christmas when the NK comes he will only get coal. No whores and wine for Tyrion. He was naughty boy.  

KHALESSI - Listen. I don’t like Jorah in the books, and my impression of show!Jorah has always been tainted by it. But this Jorah is redeemed and deserves to live I WILL RIOT IF HE DIES. The scene he has with Dany is one of my favourites because it just shows how much history they have together. I will sob if he dies because he is the only one left from S1E01 with her.  Jorah tells her to forgive Tyrion and seek out S.ansa to smooth things over. MY BEAR

S.ansa x Daenerys - First time I thought it was going well, they were bonding… and then S.ansa leaned forward and the hand placing seemed a bit too deliberate to me, too Margaery. What I am trying to say is that it is very hard to know if S.ansa is being genuine. It is a very good scene and it holds a lot of importance later on, more on that when I talk about the reveal in the last scene (and I this is what I wanted from episode 1 - cold but courteous.) 

S.ansa tells Dany Jon loves her and that “men do stupid things for the women they love, they’re easily manipulated” - which, fair point; she saw Cersei and Margaery do it. Buuuut she also had the counter-argument: she saw how Littlefinger manipulated her aunt. So it goes both ways, bby. 

“All my life I have known one goal: the Iron Throne […] until I met Jon 

INTERRUPTING THIS PROGRAMME TO FLAIL BECAUSE HOLY SHIT WE FINALLY HEAR DANY CALL HIM “JON” ON SCREEN YES YES FUCKING FINALLY THANK YOU BABY JESUS AND MARY AND THE ENTIRE TEAM OF 12 APOSTLES  

“Now I am here, half a world away, fighting Jon’s war alongside him. Tell me, who manipulated whom?”  - I love how Dany turns the tables here, because she is right; if Dany was manipulating Jon, then how come she is the one here, fighting with all her men and resources and dragons? Who gains from this more? SEE S.ANSA IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE IF YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN- 

FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING CONTENT. 

Then S.ansa goes for that smile ugh and agaaaain I am having soooo much trouble taking it for genuine. 

“I am here because I love your brother and I trust him and I know he is true to his word […]” I AM DEAD DEAD DEAD 

And then it goes to shite because S.ansa is now clearly drawing inspiration from Theresa fucking May since she has no fucking skills to bring up Brexit - is it Nexit? Dany retreating her hands tho - she feels played LIKE REALLY BITCH I WAS SPEAKING FROM MY HEART AND YOU WERE JUST BUYING TIME HERE. 

Theonsa everywhere - or the ship you never thought would happen in this show yet you can’t help but ship it 

That hug!!!! Wow I loved it!!! Sophie and Alfie killed it. Also watch Dany in the background - my baby!!! Do you know how hard it is being around people with big families when you’re… alone? It’s fucking depressing, and I just want to hug Dany and carry her to safety. 

We got 3 Theonsa moments (and one was a Jonerys parallel so you know the romantic undertones are strong) in this episode soooo yeah! Enjoy! I am afraid they are setting Theon up to die, especially since it would be poetic cinema.jpeg for him to die defending Bran after he took WF from him.

Also also feels like book!Theon and show!Theon are colliding again. 

The Merry Men and the Night’s Watch leftovers ; and Ghost for 3 seconds - you’re welcome ; the Hound and Beric; Missandei and Grey Worm

Tormund calling Jon “little crow” was fucking everything! did you catch Jon’s smile??? Precious baby!!! And then asking about Brienne!!!! But did you catch Jon’s face when he saw Sam was also there - like ugh you again - BYE 

Missandei x Grey - one of them is totally dead BYE I AM GONNA FLUNG MYSELF OUT THE WINDOW 

Sam x Jon on the battlements - ugh Sam really you are looking soooooo bad right now. Jon’s face is again precious. He is so over Sam atm and he is just like WHEN WILL THE NK COME FOR ME BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO STAY ONE MORE SECOND WITH THIS BITCH ISTG– Then I got emo when Edd came up. Damn. Watch Edd die too… I feel it in mah bones. That’s how the last of the NW dies. 

Arya x The Hound - I get soooo many dad feels from the Hound tbh and I love it. My guess the Hound makes it. Beric tho??? hmmm Idk about that. 

Tormund is fucking insane and I love him

THE BRIENNE KNIGHTING WAS EVERYTHING AND I CANT EVEN LOOK AT THE GIFS WITHOUT SOBBING MAH HEART - also!!! Dunk and Egg reference - Brienne parallel?? And the title of the episode! ugh Summerhall references? BRIENNE DO NOT DIE 

Sam gives Jorah Heartsbane - Good. It’s what Jorah deserves. *pushes Sam out of the shot*

Pod singing Jenny’s Song is tearing me apart and making me sob harder I FUCKING LOST IT AND I AM STILL GETTING CHILLS YALL THIS WAS FUN. SEEMS EVERYONE DIES. No, I jest. But I love how they paired up the couples for a tragic love song - Brienne x Jaime, Sam x Gilly, S.ansa x Theon, Arya x Gendry, Missandei x Greyworm, Jon x Dany. I wouldn’t look too much into the song choice tbh, since in Inside the episode they say they knew they wanted a song and they just picked this one and added more verses since it was incomplete. I know this is the second Summerhall reference, but ya know, I personally wouldn’t look too much into it.  Edit: I should have never trusted D&D - now go read these amazing posts made by @tomakeitbeautifultolive in which she explains the song and the significance for Jonerys. Also Ramin Djawadi spoke about the song and fed our fandom just today (April 25th).

The War Council or let’s gather around Bran Starkashian so he can spill some tea on the NK

Plan sounds basic imo, not that I had expected much about that, but in Miguel we trust and we know he will absolutely crash this battle in episode 3. 

Interesting how the casually dropped that apparently the NK’s goal is to destroy Bran. And the mention of the mark - so now basically Bran is chipped. Cool beans. Sam’s remark about “death is forgetting, being forgotten is very interesting. Memories don’t come from books, your stories aren’t just stories.” - interesting take here. I Sam writing the book about Jonerys? If so I am afraid he has A FUCKING BIAS OMG I AM GETTING HEATED AGAIN. Also my friend @iane-casey  was totally annoyed how much screen time Sam got which honestly same dude I am still pissed at you *joins Jon to brood and glare at Sam*

Dany publicly makes a point in that she still needs Tyrion aka he is forgiven so that there is no bad blood between them. 

Lmao my friend @zavocado says we should totes just tape Bran to Drogon’s belly and lure the NK away from WF *grabs the duct-tape* 

FINALLY A MAP: listen, they are outnumbered as fuuuuck… besides that it is clear that Dany’s forces will get the most hit since they are in the vanguard, Birenne on the left with the Knights of the Vale and some Stark forces, on the right we get the rest of the North, and the Mormonts are inside the gates! 

Jon walks on Dany a second time - Dany stops as the room clears out (Qhono and Jorah and Varys behind her), looks expectandly at Jon, he doesn’t look at her (MY BABY BOY HE LOOKS SO ROUGH DID HE EVEN SLEEP?), falters “Your Grace��, and bolts. She falters, her face is all WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING and she clears the room too. More on that at the end.

Gendrya or the OTP you did not know you need and why you fucking need it

First of all, this fandom is so pure. I loooooved all the Gendrya on my dash from episode 1 and then this episode I got flooded and I am here for it bitch. Give me all the feels.

I cannot wait to see Arya with her new weapon!!! 

GENDRY IS SO SHOOKETH BY ARYA AND I LOVED THAT SHE TOPPED HIM

I HAVE A SON YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER LET’S JOIN OUR HOUSES

The gendrya - jonerys parallels??? EVERYTHING JUST WOW

Jonerys parentage reveal 2.0 or the reveal Jon also deserved not the travesty he got

I will do a play by play of the scene, but first. Why does Jon avoid Dany? Simple. He is hurting. Since we get the Jaime vs Bran stare down and then we get the Jaime trial, it is safe to assume that happens the morning after Sam blurted the truth to Jon about his mom and dad. 

So at Jaime’s fake trial, Jon had what? A few hours at best to process everything - and by that I mean: Dany is his aunt; Ned lied to him his entire life (no matter the reason, Jon has been raised a certain way and to hear the man who was so honourable was capable of the biggest lie in the realm… das huge! so this is shocking his entire moral compass and belief system built upon the education his dad gave him); his dad actually loved his mom and married her so he is no longer a bastard - ya know aka the thing that affected his entire life and the thing he wanted most; his mom died giving birth to him and she managed to think of him in her last moments, enough to make Ned promise her he will take care of her son; the fact that if Robert even caught a whiff of it, he would have been dead. SO that is a LOT LOT. 

Which explains why Jon was so out of it when he is asked about Jaime. Also explains why he bolts out of the room without looking at Dany - I think if he had even so much as looked at her he would have broken down. He isn’t ready for it.

Oh the stuff I mentioned he had to come to terms with? On top of all of it we must add the stress of finding a way of telling all of this to Dany in a way that he doesn’t hurt her. Also I bet your ass he thought there was a chance she may not believe him (he himself did not in the beginning)… and a chance she may think he wants the throne since Sam drilled this into his head so now he is afraid of that too. 

So when Jon is in the war room he had what? around 12 hours in total since Sam told him? 15? 20? Do you think that’s enough? Because I don’t. But this time he is doing much better. So he is still not looking at Dany, but he addressed her “Your Grace” and leaves - which means he is already in a better place than where he was in the morning, but not quite there yet. 

This is good angst. We should rejoice, it will hurt before it gets better. 

Moving on. Why didn’t he just directly go to Dany? I honestly don’t think it’s in Jon’s character to seek out comfort. This is a kid who had no one to go to when he would hurt himself. That shit stays with you. You don’t just flip a switch and start seeking out your other half. No, in moments of stress the brain reverts to things it knows bets, to muscle memory and old habits; it uses the energy to overthink itself to death so ain’t nobody got time for that new behaviours shit. At this point jonerys have been together for how long? 3? 4 weeks? That’s not that much. They are used to each other, but not enough to break old habits and past traumas. 

Now, the reveal: 

Dany stops, silently asking permission before she approaches Jon. Poor bean must be a bit hurt that he avoided her twice, so better make sure he actually wants her company. Jon actually smiles at her, even if it is a sad smile. It kills me how he is just staring at him mom’s statue. KILLS ME. Only then, she approaches him (look at her face, brief relief!). She stops next to him, he turns to her and nods, and only THEN SHE EMBRACES HIS SIDE, HOLDING HIS HANDS, CHIN TO HIS SHOULDER.

“Who is that?”

“Lyanna Stark.” Jon eventually says

Dany looks a bit like oh… shit, again my family yikes… I would say she looks apologetic. “My brother Rhaegar, everyone told me he was decent and kind. He liked to sing. Gave money to poor children. And he raped her” - ok but this is big, because Dany just in S7 recognised her own rape… So no wonder her opinion on Rhaegar is not that good atm. 

“He didn’t” 

Dany looks shook, but she is still holding onto Jon. Notice how his hand is on hers? 

“He loved her.” 

She doesn’t interrupt. Jon almost looks like he is feeling brave, so he keeps her hand into his and turns to face her. 

“They were married in secret. After Rhaegar fell on the Trident, she had a son. Robert would have murdered the baby if he ever found out and Lyanna knew it.”

Dany is surpised, but so far so good. Jon stares into her eyes.

“So the last thing she did as she bled to death on her birthing bed was give the boy to her brother” – camera on Emilia — oh shit for a split second it starts to show that she is putting two and two together – “Ned Stark” – her eyes widen and she blinks – “to raise as his bastard” – she exhales, breathing accelerates – “My name,” – breathing heavily on her part –  “my real name” -- she looks incredulous and nods a smal no – “is Aegon Targaryen” – she blinks, exhales, puls away her hand and turn halfway away from Jon. 

She looks away, then at him, he is almost leaning over her but still too far. “That’s impossible.”

Camera on Jonerys

“I wish it were.” (SEE THIS IS WHAT I AM SAYING MY POOR SON)

“Who told you this?”

“Bran. He was it.”

“He SAW it?” She sound clipped, the ARE YOU KIDDING ME tone clipped 

“And Samwell confirmed it.”He read about their marriage at the CItadel” – camera on Emilia —”without even knowing what it meant” (OK BUT FUCK OFF SAM GILLY READ THAT) - Dany’s face her, she is clearly restraining herself because this sounds insane.

“A secret no one in the world knew, except your brother and your best friend, doesn’t seem strange to you?” she shakes her head and it breaks my heart how you can see the wheels turning in her head going fuck here we go again, I laid my heart bare and that’s it. Yet another betrayal. 

Camera on Kit. He looks at her, takes a step forward “It’s true, Dany.” – camera on Emilia – “I know it is.” (UM HELLO DANY I AM HYPERVENTILATING BITCH)

Dany shakes her head, her face looks full with distrust. Then it goes to despair - her voice shaky “If it were true, it would make you the last male heir of the House Targaryen.” – camera on Kit HE FUCKING FROWNS LIKE WHAT – camera on Emilia – “You’d have a claim to the Iron Throne” – camera on Kit and his face goes again WHA— 

THEN THE FUCKING HORN SOUNDS. Jon turns his head towards the door, but Dany keeps staring at him and she looks heartbroken.

They go out and it’s all business. He nods to her and she leaves. Interesting though - she comes out first. Jon turned back towards the sound so if they were just running out he should have come out first. Either he remembered to be courteous or there is another small exchange we didn’t get to see. Or maybe I am reading way into things and it was a lame ass decision hahah. 

Ok so the reveal to Dany - you better fucking take notes Sam cuz this is how you do a reveal: being calm, level headed, explaining to the person as much as you can, answering questions.

On Dany’s reaction: my friend @oadara said it so so well in this post here. So, building on that, we need to put her reaction in context, just like I did with Jon’s cold shoulder. Dany’s discussion with S.asnsa is fresh in her mind, not just the part about who is manipulating whom, and that must drive her nuts now, but also the part in which S.asnsa did a 180 on her just when she thought she was making progress, so feeling like she was being manipulated. One of course must start asking questions. Has Jon just found out? Has he always known? Did he seduce her to take her armies and her dragons her her throne?? Moreover, Dany specifically tells S.ansa that her only goal in life has been the Iron Throne. Imagine that - having one goal in life, and suddenly someone comes in and can just rip it all away from you, poof just like that, they just need to say the word. Moreover, males have preference… and so many would rather follow a male than a female. And that’s a fact.  

Moreover… she still thinks herself barren… 

Like I am not saying Dany suddenly hates Jon or will cast him away (ok maybe she will initially I have a prediction/theory I will explain in a different post). I am saying… JUST GIVE DANY TIME. She just found out and now she gotta go save everyone’s ass. Let the girl breathe.

I was asking myself but why would Jon tell her now? If he himself wishes she had never known? I think it may be a very Ned Stark thing - he genuinely thinks he will fall, and he wanted to tell her the truth, because Rhaegar Targaryen may be his dad but Ned Stark is his daddy. 

What do you think? As always, dms and asks are open! 

Will make a preview post and another about my jonerys theory. 

All in all, this episode was incredible and I loved it. I am so not ready for the fight fuuuuuuuuuuuu-

[facelessfrey]

Roswell New Mexico S1E13

- So...I need them to get renewed just so they can fix that massive cluster fuck of a mess they just made and maybe just maybe try and tell a halfway coherent story in a season 2. 

- I have SOOOOO many issues with this show as a whole, so I’m going to have to let all of this insanity marinate for awhile before I get into that. For now...I think I’m just going to yell about this one in particular. 

- What the hell even happened in this episode?!?! Why does nothing connect? Why is it structured like this?!?! AHHHHHH?!?! It’s so infuriating. 

- There are just too many disparate threads that just don’t even seem like they’re in the same episode. 

- You’ve got Kyle watching security footage and instead of having that revelation on screen, he’s clearly already watched it and just showing Alex when he shows up. And then all of a sudden he’s at the Crashdown stitching up Liz and telling her he knew that Rosa was his sister. Doesn’t tell her anything about finding that out cause then he’s unhinged and thinking about buying a gun. Then he’s back at the bunker and Manes is showing up and after all that with Alex and Michael and yeah I get that Kyle has reasons too, but he’s the one who is there to take him down for the moment?? Sure. He’s got kevlar. Okay. Fine. He’s got syringes to put people in medically induced comas. Sure. What even?!?! 

- You’ve got Michael having his stand off with Max and crying about his mom and all the dead aliens and shouting about Alex’s dad and then he’s throwing Max out a window and he’s gonna get Noah more antidote but oh wait Noah stabs him in the neck and we leave him lying in a pool of his own blood. But then wait, Max wakes up to save the day for the first time in this episode. Then all of a sudden Michael is at the trailer. He’s having a nice moment with Alex. They almost kiss but no! He’s got to go run off to save Max and Isobel. Then it’s all oh cool he’s dead. Thanks Thor. And then Max goes nuts and starts ranting and heals his hand and then all of a sudden he’s walking with Isobel and making love confessions but love is pain. And then he’s off to make out with Maria but first he’s gotta play the guitar cause...of course. Gotta show off that newly healed hand. And well..at least Maria saw that. I just....what?!?! 

- And Alex just gets to sit sadly in the trailer and sit sadly outside the trailer checking his watch while Michael’s off making out with Maria and playing guitar. That’s really where he ends this story? Really??? This was the first real time I’ve had a problem with this ‘love triangle’ in part because #whiplash. I mean seriously. 

- And then you’ve got Liz who’s chilling with Maria and then battling Noah and then getting stabbed and then getting stitched up and then getting it confirmed that Rosa is her half sister and then she’s having sex. Really weird sex by the way with the whole glowy hand echos of feelings stuff. What??? And then she’s talking to a rock but hey Max is doing something and look it’s Rosa! Hugs! Wait...what about Max?!?! 

- Speaking of Max. Apparently he’s a little dead right now? That can’t stick if they get a season two. Surely. But before he ‘died’ he pulled lighting down from the sky and channeled Thor and killed an alien and had weird handprint echo sex and then brought a dead girl back to life. So...sure??????!!!!!!

- And Noah...god...Noah. Like what even was the point??? I’m SO CONFUSED!!!??? It was too fast. All the revelations came at a speed I can’t even process. Max is the savior? What does that even mean??? And the ‘Alighting’??? Um...Okay??? Sure?? what??? Like god, it wouldn’t have hurt the show to give some concrete answers. I just...I have so many problems. 

- And Isobel is just home using new powers to shatter photos cause sure they can do that now. Fine. Sure. Why not?!?! 

- And Maria’s just out there outing Michael to Liz. Not that everyone and their alien mother doesn’t already know but still. But I digress because the real thing I want to yell about is that MARIA STILL DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT THE FUCKING ALIENS?!?!?!?!??!!!!!!! 13 EPISODES AND NO ONE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO TELL HER??? HER MOM’S TALKING ABOUT ALIENS AND LIZ AND ALEX KNOW SOME OF IT’S LEGIT. RANCHERO NIGHT IS A PIECE OF THE NOAH PUZZLE. SHE GOT TAKEN OVER BY NOAH AT THE UFO EMPORIUM GALA. SHE’S GOT A NECKLACE WITH THE FLOWER THAT THE MAGIC POWER DAMPENING POLLEN IS FROM!!!! AND NO ONE THOUGHT, HEY, LET’S LOOP IN MARIA, OUR FRIEND, OUR THIRD PRONG ON THE LOVE TRIANGLE, THE ONE WITH ALL OF THE WEIRD CONNECTIONS TO ALIENS. TOTALLY NOT RELEVANT TO HER!!!!!????? I HATE EVERYTHING. And also, og Maria found out in the pilot by the way, in part because she was inquisitive and she knew Liz was hiding something, but in this version, Maria just doesn’t care? Doesn’t notice her friends changing the subject around her? Doesn’t question why people are asking her about Ranchero night and murders? Doesn’t question enough why Liz is looking into Rosa’s death? Why can’t she be curious and find out on her own if no one’s gonna tell her? Or why can’t she be like ‘hey best friends who are clearly keeping things from me...what’s up?’. Sigh...I’m so mad. 

- But really. This episode was all over the place. Finale’s are supposed to be jam packed but I feel like they’re supposed to be a proper climax, bring people together. Why can’t everyone fight together against a common enemy?? Why is everyone still all doing their own thing? Why does no one talk to each other? Why is Liz just finding out about Rosa being Kyle’s sister? Why is Michael just now telling Isobel about Alex’s family and that whole side of the damn plot? Why don’t they all know this already? WHY?!?!? 

- Ugh and Manes just pops up again with very little explanation. Yells at Flint who at least sort of was like ‘what did you expect me to do Dad, kill Alex?’. So. Cool I guess. But Manes just shows back up and stalks Kyle for no reason and heads down to the bunker and gets put into a coma? Like, what kind of anticlimactic bullshit is that? 

- Og Roswell crew in the season one finale, comes together to fight off Pierce. Kyle finally finds out about everything with the aliens and gets saved by Max. Michael kills Pierce. And then they have sad closure moments with their respective love interests. Michael leaves Maria cause he’s a killer now and Liz leaves Max because of destiny. And they all find out answers together about their alien lives and planet. It’s concise. It makes sense. It feels like an ending that gives closure but opens up the possibilities for a new season. 

- I don’t even know what the hell this was??? Again...this show is infuriating. Because I do like the characters. I love these new, older versions of them. They’ve made these characters their own. I don’t even think about the og characters for the most part. And I like the relationships they have with each other. I just wish they were more connected. But the plot part of this show is...just all over the place and moves too slow at first and then too fast and it just never makes a whole lot of sense. 

- Infuriating is a very good word for it. 

- Props to them for using that version of the of theme song though at the end. That was cool. 

- I have no idea where this show would even go in a season two if they get one. But if they do get one, I hope they sort themselves the fuck out and figure out how to tell a story properly so I don’t have to yell like this again. 

[toxikbubblegum]

April Reading Review

April was a big month for me. After not reading for a long time, this month I've fallen back in love with it. So I've decided to log all the books I read from now on. To track and remember what I've read throughout the year. Sorry if I shit on your favorite book.

Eragon by Christopher Paolini

The only book I DNF'd. I've tried to read this series 3 times since it came out and I just cant. I quit about half way through everytime. It's just extremely slow and I cant seem to get invested. The characters are bland and dont intrest me at all. Just didn't care for it in the slightest.

Need by Carrie Jones

Oh, was this a trip. And not a good one. Being completely honest I dont remember any of the characters names and I dont care enough about this title to look them up. I will refer to them by their stereotypes that were so fuckinh prevalent in this novel. 🙃 So the story is about this girl, your typical "look how quirky and plain I am" ya heroine for these B list supernatural romances, is sent to this little town in I want to say North Carolina, but dont quote me there. She moves in with her Grandma, who is 100% the best character in the book, after he dad mysterious drops dead on the kitchen floor. So, right off the bat we end up in the first day of school trope. Main character is in the office and here we meet a boy and a girl WHO ARE CLEARLY THE ANTAGONISTS OF BOOK. This may just be a me problem but I absolutely hate when I can unravel the entire book in the first few chapters. It feels like the author was lazy and didnt put enough effort into concealing the intent and weaving a mystery. I digress, the two main villains and the main love interest are all introduced within the first 3 chapters and like, it's made clear who these characters are meant to be. It honestly felt like the writer looked at a list of stereotype tropes and started checking them off. So yeah, weird shit starts happening and the main character is convinced someone in trying to kill her. Oh, theres also this overarching theme of high school boys wandering into the woods and disappearing. Conclusion: FAIRIES! Or pixies rather which arent really pixies but have the name forcefully sewn onto them in this novel. And shapeshifters are the towns only hope! Just ugh. I don't want to talk about this book anymore. It was awful and I wont be continuing the trilogy. I rated it 2 stars out of 5 right after I read it but I almost dont feel it deserves that now. Looking back on it, Need was just a dumpster fire.

The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White

This book was fantastic. No if, ands, or buts about it. It was one of the best books I've read this month. I'm usually not a big fan of horror retellings or historical fiction so I went in expecting to hate it and that absolutely wasnt the case. The book follows the story of Elizabeth Lavenza, the future wife of Victor Frankenstein, and her adventures prior to her marriage. I dont want to spoil too much because I think anyone who is a fan of suspense will love this novel. The side characters are usually my biggest critique in YA but the author worked magic with them. Justine and Mary were both angels and I loved them so much. It was just an all around good read that had me captivated from start to finish. 4.5/5 stars. Deducted a half point because I'm salty about the fate of my favorite character. Is that petty?

Hex Hall by Rachel Hawkins

Again, another title I kind of expected to have issues with but didnt. The book definitely suffers from a lot of YA tropes but they are presented in a more interesting way than in Need. The story follows a budding witch named Sophia who is being sent to a magical reform school called Hecate Hall. But it's not your typical "I got sent to boarding school" story. The year before a witch had died under mysterious circumstances, her body completely drained of blood. Everyone thought it was Sophie's vampire roommate Jenna who did it but there was never enough evidence. And now its happening again. The story is great and while the cast suffered a bit from trope syndrome, the twists in the plot really made up for it. I would definitely give the trilogy a read if supernatural school settings are your thing. 4/5 stars.

Demonglass by Rachel Hawkins

The sequel to Hex Hall. The continuation was really good and had an ending I absolutely didnt see coming. Actually liked this entry better than the first in the series. I plan to continue the trilogy as well as the spin off novels. 4.5/5 Deducted half a point for the infuriatingly ambiguous ending cliffhanger.

Sweep by Cate Tiernan

This book was meh at best. It was a tiny book about a girl who becomes a witch. She gets super into wicca and because of a pagan boy at school. It wasnt great but it was semi accurate to the religion. I dont honestly even remember much about the book. It went in one ear and out theother. Solid 3/5.

Splintered by A.G. Howard

This. Book. Is. Wonderful. It's a retelling sort of thing of Alice in Wonderland. It follows a girl named Alyssa, who is the descendant of Alice Liddel, as she tries to break her family's curse of madness. It infects only the women of the line and will eventually drive them insane, as it has Alyssa's mom. The one blight on an otherwise perfect book is Jebidiah, Alyssa's crush. He is a trash character and I hate him. I have so many problems with him that it would take far to long to list. My biggest one is that he is mildly abusive and extremely controlling. Just in the first part of the story he intentionally ruins Alyssa's education opportunity to study abroad purely for selfish reasons, forces his way into her home when he was asked to leave, goes through her belongings after being told not to, gives off major stalker vibes, and consistently treats her like his property. His presence was such a fucking stain on an otherwise lovely romp. Honestly, Morpheus and the twisted world building were what saved the book for me. Howard did such a brilliant job weaving together a demented version of an already dark land. 4.5/5. Gotta take a half point for the oozing, cancerous sore that is Jebidiah Holt.