#oh my god it has been so long since i posted
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nerd in love
– after a misunderstanding, jisung finally tells yn how he feels at his birthday party .ᐟ.ᐟ
pairing | han jisung x fem reader
genre | mutual pining , fluff , uni au – 18+ is strongly advised!
cw | she/her pronouns used ; mostly in jisung pov ; food and alcohol mentioned ; a lil suggestive at the end
words | 10.1k ~ ( 10,133 )
notes | well, here it is! i started this before my break (which is why its so late) but finished it during my break n i just wanted to post it bc im proud of this n i adore this version of jisung n the friendship dynamics !! :( don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. i hope you all enjoy! ‹3
m.list — wips list — you can also read it on my ao3
dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!
your pen taps against the white, lined sheet of paper that has a few scribbles and doodles on. your cheek resting on your hand as you sigh a little in boredom.
the professor has been groaning on and on about the same thing. you want to listen and take in the information as you know it's important, but your mind wanders and you start to daydream; making imaginary scenarios.
you'd imagine an alien suddenly abducting you because it heard your silent cries of boredom. you and the alien would become the best of friends, the alien showing you around it's space shuttle and inviting you to have some tea and cake before making friendship bracelets – because that's what humans do, right?
other times, you'd imagine a strong, buff greek god suddenly turning up in class. he'd walk to you and take your hand, claiming that you're his long lost bride, before carrying you bridal style and off into the sunset where you two would get married and have babies.
so caught up in your fake scenarios, you don't see that another student is now looking at you.
the student is sitting in front of you–his usual designated spot. black hair that's long and permed and covers his eyes. glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. dressed in a button up shirt and black jeans, paired with a few accessories and black doc marten boots.
“excuse me.” he whispers, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “you're making too much noise.” he frowns.
you snap out of your daydream and sit up straight, wiping the imaginary drool from your chin with the back of your hand.
“o-oh.. sorry jisung.” you laugh awkwardly. he tuts and rolls his eyes before facing the front. you scoff a little and sit back in your seat.
you don't have very many friends in university, a small handful but it's enough and you don't have very many enemies either, but since jisung started the same class as you, he's been cold towards you.
he's not like this with other people, just you–it's like he can't stand you.
but for some reason, his cold, mean demeanour just makes you want him and find him even more attractive.
it's not a kink of yours, to be spoken down to and degraded. in fact, you love having the attention on you and being treated kindly and gently so it's unknown to you why you find him so attractive.
“alright class! that's all for today. you're all dismissed.” the teacher says. you silently cheer, packing up your things in your backpack.
jisung rises to his feet and swings his bag onto his shoulder, letting it rest there before pulling out his phone. you both catch eye contact with each other.
“see you tomorrow?” you say politely and smile. jisung quickly looks away and mumbles something before walking out in a rush.
maybe you're still daydreaming, but you swore you could see the tips of his ears turning a light shade of pink.
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“fuck, i’m so late!” you alternate between running and speed walking your way to your class. your alarm didn't go off this morning so when you finally awoke, it was up and out in a flash. “i'm so screwed!”
today is an important day. the teacher was going to go over a few things on a test that's due in a few weeks so you really needed to attend it to get an idea–but alas, here you are. hair disheveled, dried up drool on your chin and your socks mismatched with your backpack hanging off your shoulder.
you breathe a sigh of relief before stopping in front of the lecture hall doors. you take a deep breath and fix yourself up before reaching out to open the doors.
the doors suddenly swing open. the students exiting the hall. you stand in the middle of the students as they walk around you, engaging in conversations with their friends.
you frown in confusion, looking at the time on your phone. your eyes widen even more, bulging from the sockets.
“oh wow.. i really fucked up.” you were a lot later than you thought.
you look up to see jisung looking at his phone. today he's in a plain, black t-shirt and skinny jeans. a few chains hanging around his neck and converse.
“hey, ji!” you call out. he looks up at whoever is calling him before his face twists into disgust when he realises it's you. you ignore this, mainly because he rushes past you.
you frown and chase after him, trying to keep up with his speed–but he's too fast.
“hey! wait! i know you heard me, ji!!”
“don’t call me that. my name is jisung.” he mumbles.
“ok ok, sorry! just, i need help!”
“find it elsewhere.” his tone of voice is cold towards you; like always. again, you ignore it.
“please, i’m desperate! my alarm didn't go off and i clearly missed class! i know it was super important too and–can you slow down and listen to me?!” you huff.
jisung lets out an irritated sigh and looks at you; phone in one hand, earphones in the other. he stops in the middle of the corridor and looks at you.
you bend down, hands on your knees to catch your breath.
“you being late has nothing to do with me. it's your own fault for being late.” he says, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
“yeah, i know.”
“you fucked up and now you want my help? how could i possibly help you?”
“i need your notes.”
“my notes? fuck no.”
“oh please, ji… sorry–jisung. i really, really need this.” you pout. jisung groans and rubs the back of his neck.
“ok, fine.” he sighs in defeat. you're taken aback by how easy it was for him to surrender his notes over to you; but you don't complain. he takes his notebook out of his bag and hands it to you. you cheer and open it up, looking at the notes.
his handwriting is beautiful. his notes are easy to follow, however, you've come to the realisation that looking at notes isn't going to be enough for you to get the information to stick in your mind.
“make sure to give it to me by the end of the day. i’m usually at the library.” he says as you flick through his notes. “if you can't find me, find minho. he's my roommate.”
you don't respond due to the fact that so much information is causing your brain to go into information overload. jisung sighs again and, as he is about to walk away, you grab his arm.
“wait!” you make a quick mental note of how soft his skin is and how muscular he feels. jisung looks at your hand that's on him, feeling heat quickly rise to his cheeks and his heart to thumb erratically in his chest.
“your hand.” he whispers. you lean in close to get a better understanding of what he just said.
“pardon?”
“hand. your hand. please remove it.”
“oh!” you quickly remove your hand from him. jisung clears his throat and looks down, hoping that his long hair covers his face to hide the blush that's happily sitting on his cheeks.
you see it though and make a note of how adorable he looks. you feel your own heartbeat skipping beats and beating erratically but you put it down to you having to sprint to class.
“i don't think this will be enough.” you start. he looks up at you. “the notes.. i don't think it's going to be enough.”
“well, there's a library and also the internet. there’s this thing called google, so use that.”
“teach me.” his eyes widen in shock.
“t-teach you?! fuck no, yn!”
“please, jisung! just until the test is over! i really, really need this. i’m desperate and, although your notes are so perfect, it's going to take a lot more than notes for me to understand it!”
“then ask the tutor for a one-on-one! or ask your friend!!” he stutters in shock. his cheeks are now bright red.
“you know the tutor doesn't do one-on-ones and my friends don't even take this class! oh please, jisung. pleeeaseee. pretty pretty pleeease.” you pout, giving him puppy eyes.
“yn…”
“i’ll buy you your coffee everyday for a full month.”
“... just my coffee?”
“what sweet treat do you like?”
“...cheesecake.” he answers reluctantly.
“then coffee and cheesecake on me for a full month!” jisung runs his fingers through his hair slowly, a soft, defeated sigh leaving his lips as he contemplates.
“you really need this, huh.” you nod your head fast to the point of dizziness. “you drive a hard bargain, yn. but fine.”
you cheer and grin widely.
“on some conditions though.”
“what?”
“we study in the library, you don't be late and we only do this until the test is over! after that, i won't teach you anymore.”
“yes sir.” you salute. “oh, do you want my contact information? might make it easier to set up study dates.”
“study dates?”
“yeah! i assume we have different schedules due to different classes, so it's better to text or call each other so we know when to meet up!”
“true.. ok, fine. give me.” you tell jisung your contact information. he phones you and you smile as you save his contact information.
“thank you so much, jisung! you're the best!” you say before sprinting off to find your friend leaving a flustered jisung bewildered in the middle of the corridor.
“study dates, huh.. i kinda like that.”
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“dude, chill. you're just going to the library to study” jisung’s roommate laughs as he watches jisung scurrying around the place as he packs his bag.
minho is relaxing on jisung’s bed, shirtless and in sweats with round glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose whilst eating an ice pop. him and jisung have been the best of friends since university started and he became jisung’s roommate.
since then, they've both been inseparable. many people speculate that something is going on between the two of them, indicating a relationship–minsung, they call them.
“i am chill.” jisung mumbles as he shoves in a few too many pens into his pencil case.
“yeah, suuuure.” minho laughs as he licks and sucks on his popsicle. “i’ve watched you run around the place like a headless chicken.”
“dude, please hush.” jisung looks at minho just as some sticky sweet ice drops onto minho's chest. he scoops it up with his fingers and eats it. jisungs sighs “do you have to eat that on my bed?”
“yeah. problem?” minho smirks
“yes. quite a few actually. you're going to get the sheets sticky!” jisung whines.
“not the first time i've heard that.” minho laughs at his own joke. jisung rolls his eyes but the corner of his lips turn upright into a smile as he holds back his laugh.
“you're disgusting.”
“yeah? and you're a mess right now, bro.” minho places the wooden popsicle stick on jisung's side table before swinging his legs around to plant his feet on the floor.
he stands and walks to jisung, ruffling his hair a few times.
“you're just going to study, that's all. it's not that big of a deal, bro. unless….” minho smirks and wiggles his brows at jisung.
“unless what? what are you implying, minho?” jisung says as he crosses his arms across his chest and raises his brow.
“unless you, oh i don't know, like her.” jisung's eyes widen a little and he clears his throat, turning his head to avoid eye contact with minho. “aha!! i knew it! you do like ‘em!”
“no, i don't. fuck off, minho.” jisung mumbles and rushes to his desk, messing and organizing a few things to ‘look busy.’
minho skips over to jisung with a smirk. “c’mon ji. we all know you've been smitten with yn since the very beginning. it's soooo obvious!”
“dude, please. i don't like her like that. and it's jisung–not ji!”
“ahuh. whatever you say, dude.” minho laughs.
“plus, she probably doesn't like me in that way..” jisung mumbles before sighing softly.
“have you asked her that?”
“well… no but–”
“then how do you know?”
“i just do, ok?! enough with the questions, minho. don't you have that media assignment to do or something?”
“nope.” minho says, popping the p in an obnoxious way. “all done, which means i am a free man.”
“no one is a ‘free man’ in university, minho.” jisung laughs.
“ugh, you're right. even though one assignment is done, i still have a gazillion more.” minho runs his fingers through his long, shaggy hair. “speaking of which, i best start with at least one of them.”
“good luck, man. you'll do great.” jisung says sarcastically, paring it with a sarcastic grin.
“fuck you. good luck with yn, jisung.” minho turns around and walks out of jisung's bedroom. “hope you get laid!” he shouts.
“fuck you.” jisung laughs. minho sticks his middle finger up at jisung before laughing and closing his bedroom door.
with the last of his things packed, he zips up his back. he checks one last time in the mirror, fixing his hair and spraying his best perfume onto his neck. he puts his hand up to his mouth, huffing on it before sniffing. pulling a face, he grabs a mint and pops it into his mouth, sucking on it as he puts on his shoes and a leather jacket.
“it’s just a study thing. it's not that serious. calm down, jisung.” he mumbles as he laces up his shoes.
but he can't stop his heartbeat from thumping loudly against his ribcage and excitement to rush through his body. his excitement is so big, it makes him shake.
“it’s not a big deal. she probably doesn't like you that way.” he continues to mumble in an attempt to calm himself down as he takes one last look in the mirror. a smile slowly creeps up onto his face and a small squeal escapes from the back of his throat.
“fuck! i’m so screwed.”
minho hears this and laughs at his friend's excitement before putting on his headphones. if there's one thing minho loves, is seeing his best friend happy and over the moon. he just hopes he won't get hurt.
“cute.” minho says to himself before typing away at his keyboard. jisung leaves the bedroom and shouts a goodbye to minho before heading out to the library.
nervous doesn't describe how jisung is feeling. as he walks to the library, his legs start to feel like jelly and the urge to turn back strong the closer he gets to his destination. he hopes that you're not there first just so he has time to calm himself down.
he even tries to listen to music in hopes that it would calm him down somewhat. but the soothing sounds of violins and cellos do nothing (he even tried listen to a few seconds of whale noises but even that was useless)
“we’re just studying. nothing more.” he repeats under his breath as he walks inside the library.
the place is nicely decorated, modern with a hint of an historic touch. students at tables and little cubicles, headphones on and studying. some in groups, whispering as they do projects of various kinds. some making the most of how quiet it is to take a quick nap. the occasional rustling of snack packets paired with the occasional crunch breaks the silence every so often.
it's silent but it's lively.
jisung says a few hellos to some students he recognises (either from classes they take together or them being minho's friends) as he searches the area for you.
his heart thumping as he searches. he silently cheers when he can't see you because he has a chance to calm down, but, as he walks to an empty table at the very back of the room, his victory is cut short as he sees you sitting there; ready and waiting.
you have your back to him (and to everyone else) and you're hunched over your notebook. jacket resting on the back seat with your bag on the floor, by your side. jisung takes a quick, small peek over your shoulder to see what you're doing only to see small, quick doodles on the page from boredom.
his heart swells a little as it's another thing he's learnt about you. just when he thinks you couldn't get any more perfect.
“hey, yn.” he whispers only to realise that you won't hear him no matter how many times he calls for you due to the music that's blasting from your earphones. he makes a quick mental note of who you're listening to before trying to get your attention again.
“hey, yn.” he places his hand on your shoulder to which you jump at, causing jisung to jump at your reaction. you look behind you as you take out your earbuds, sighing in relief.
“jesus, jisung. you frightened me.”
“sorry, yn. i didn't mean to.”
“no, it's ok. my music may have been a little too loud.” you laugh as you put them away and jisung sits next to you on one of the chairs.
“you know you'll get tinnitus if you keep doing that.”
“yeah… i know. it's a bad habit but music sounds better loud, y‘know!” jisung nods in agreement before pulling out his notebook and pencil case.
you watch him lean down. you take the time to admire him. his hair soft and fluffy. you have to resist the urge to run your fingers through it. a faint smell of strawberries and flowers emits from his hair; a sickly sweet yet pleasant smell.
his skin is dewy and perfect; not a blemish in sight. a beauty mark sits close to his lips. it's a small mark so it's no wonder you never recognised it before.
you notice the way his biceps bulge and flex with every motion of his arms. the chains from his neck dangle a little and his aftershave wafts towards you and tickles your nose hairs.
“you smell so good.“ you mumble. jisung looks at you.
“excuse me?”
“you smell so fucking good.” you repeat and lean in close to him. your hair tickles his jawline and chin as you smell the skin of his neck. “what do you use?”
“...i–urm, i don't know. i just picked it up when i was shopping.” you hum and nod. jisungs soft cheeks slowly start to feel very hot. “personal space, yn. ever heard of it?”
“oh!! sorry. my bad. i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.” you laugh awkwardly as a awkward silence falls upon you both.
jisung turns his head away from you so you can't see him but his cheeks are very red and hot as his heart beats fast.
you were so close to him. so very, very close. he thought he was going to have a heart attack. he could smell you and to him, you smell so delicious and sweet; like vanilla cheesecake.
“this is not good for my heart.” he mumbles to himself.
“by the way” you begin. jisung looks at you. you slide a cold coffee and cheesecake in the middle of you both. “told you i’d stick to my end of the bargain.”
“i didn't expect you to do it so soon, yn. it's only the first session.”
you shrug. “a deals a deal.” jisung takes the cheesecake and coffee, sipping on it and humming softly as the bitter, cold taste coats his tastebuds and the caffeine enters his system.
“i didn't know what flavoured cheesecake you like so i hope it's ok.”
“what flavour is it?”
“strawberry”
“mhm, not bad.”
“you don't like strawberry?” you say with a small pout. he shrugs.
“it's fine. not the worst. but it's too sweet for me. i’m a vanilla kinda guy.”
“aah, ok. i’ll make a mental note of that.” you say as you tap your temple, laughing softly. jisung lets out a small puff of air from his nose. you see the corner of his lips curl into a small and that makes you feel like he's accepted you.
“now, enough chitchat. i actually want to be done in a decent time so, let's begin?”
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“sooooo” jisung looks up at minho, his chopsticks half hanging from his mouth, resting on his bottom lip.
the smell of spicy, instant ramen fills the air. minho cooked some food for the two of them as they have both been studying hard for upcoming tests and assignments.
instant ramen with a slice of cheese on top. rice cakes, fish cakes and other yummy goodnesss swim in the broth. the kitchen looks a mess, pots and pans scattered everywhere–it contributes to the rest of the dorm with the various clothing and shoes scattered around.
“soooo…” jisung repeats, eyebrows raised. his bangs are tied back in a pink hair tie (your pink hair tie), a white vest top and sweats on his body. minho is also in sweats but with an anime print t-shirt and a sanrio clip to hold back his bangs and a pore strip on his nose; getting tighter and tighter by the second.
“have you asked her yet?”
“asked her what?” jisung takes some noodles and a fish cake, putting them on a small, separate plate before grabbing some kimchi.
“dude.” minho rolls his eyes and lets out a long, irritable groan. “for being smart, you sure are dumb.”
“you're just dumb through and through.” jisung smiles playfully as minho sticks his middle finger up at his best friend.
“fuck you.” minho takes a rice cake that's soaked in the ramen broth. he chews it, the sound of sticky, chewy rice cake emits from his mouth. “anyways! have you asked yn about the party?”
jisung lets out a slow grunt. “not this again, minho.”
“what?!” minho says with a shrug as he continues to chew and talk.
“i already told you, and eeeeveryone else. i don't want a party or anything of the sort, minho. i just want it to be a nice, quiet day.” jisung’s eyes drift to the half chewed rice cake that's being tossed around in minho's mouth. he pulls a face in disgust. “and can you please not talk with your mouth full?”
“you're such a prude.” minho rolls his eyes but swallows his food regardless. “anyways, you know me, changbin and chan won't let you have a quiet birthday!”
“yeah, no shit.” jisung rolls his eyes as he slurps on his noodles. he wipes his mouth with a napkin before munching on some kimchi. “still don't understand why you all decided to plan a birthday party without my knowledge knowing full well i said no in the beginning.”
“dude, you're so boring.” minho jests. “it's your birthday!” he emphasise. “you're supposed to have a party, eat lots of cake and junk. drink beer, hang out with friends and maybe, get laid.”
he wiggles his eyebrows at jisung and laughs softly. with a heavy sigh, jisung puts his chopsticks down.
“no matter what, you're going to go through with this, aren't you?”
“yup!” minho obnoxiously pops the P. “plus, things have already been ordered and organised for it. we already have a few people who confirmed they're attending.”
“who?”
“mhm–” minho puts down his chopsticks and thinks, looking at the ceiling as he does. “felix from fashion design. hyunjin from art. seungmin from business studies and jeongin who is also from fashion design.”
“how do you know all these people?”
“well, unlike some–” minho's eyes widen as he looks at jisung, indicating he's talking about him in particular “–some of us actually get out. plus, chan is like a social butterfly and changbin is charismatic. put them two together and well, people can't say no.”
“yeah, true. i remember when they begged me to work on a track or something for their music assignment.”
“they both practically dragged you to do it.” minho laughs.
“only because you told them i said yes without me knowing about the situation!”
“because i knew you'd say no! you have a talent for this stuff, jisung. don't let it go to waste.”
“thanks.” he mumbles, hanging his head low in embarrassment and awkwardness.
“is that… is that a blush i see?!” minho smirks.
“me? blush? for you?! hell no!” jisung frowns. “the ramen is spicy, that's all.”
“dude… it's mild.”
“...fuck you.”
“so, are you going to ask yn or nah?”
“if it gets you and everyone else off my back, then sure”
“good. make sure you do!” jisung opens and closes his hand, mimicking minho's yapping.
“yeah yeah yeah. can we stop talking about this party and eat?”
“just looking out for ya, man. i know how much you like ‘em!”
“i know. i appreciate it, minho.” minho nods and continues eating the ramen. jisung, on the other hand, is now lost in thought.
how the hell is he going to get the courage to ask you something like that?
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the study sessions are slowly coming to end. you kept up with your end of the deal, providing jisung with an endless amount of coffees and cheesecakes whilst he has provided you with an endless amount of insights.
one thing you have learnt about him is that he is smart. he knows how to do things with just a quick glance. he's good at explaining things so it's not confusing.
you've been stuck on a problem for some time and no amount of teachers advice and youtube videos helped you. all it took was five minutes of jisung explaining the solution and it clicked.
today, however, you are alone in the library. jisung messaged you to let you know that he wasn't going to make it. you felt sad and a little heartbroken–you’ve become so accustomed to jisung's presence that you feel a little cold and lonely right now.
you can't concentrate. the music you're blasting down your ears isn't helping either. the text in your book is slowly starting to merge into one big splooge of text. the information just isn't getting through to you and it's frustrating.
you sit back in your seat and sigh as you take your headphones off and throw them on the table.
“this is pointless.” you mumble. “i can't concentrate. maybe i should just skip it.”
you take your phone and browse through social media before subconsciously opening up the food app. your mouth salivates as you look at the various burgers, fries, pizza and sweet treats–and then your stomach growls.
“maybe i’m just hungry. that's why i can't concentrate.” you pack your things and head to the university cafeteria. the menu looks dull so you settle on a simple sandwich and drink.
the cafeteria is packed. the atmosphere is buzzing with the endless chatter of students. you take your seat and pick up your sandwich.
it's a standard ham salad sandwich with some dressing on. the slices of ham and lettuce (too much lettuce for that matter), tomatoes and other salad stuff squished together by two slices of thick, white bread, smothered in dressing.
you take a few bites. it's ok. it's not bad but you've had better. the bread is a little dry for your liking but the dressing takes that away. you open the cap of your bottled drink and take a few swigs to help wash it down.
“what do we have here?” you turn your head in the direction of the voice–that thick aussie accent you know all too well.
“ew. go away chan. you're disturbing my peace.”
“charming. don't think that's something you should say to someone you haven't seen in a while.” he says with a pout as he walks to your table and sits down. he's joined by another man, a friend of his, perhaps. he sits opposite you.
“and whose fault is that, huh? maybe if you answered my calls or texts every once in a while.”
“sorry, yn. i’m just a busy man, y’know.” chan grins as he leans back in his seat, brimming with confidence.
“yeah. too busy being the campus whore.”
“blah blah blah. least i’m getting some.” he elbows you in the side a few times. “what are you getting, huh?” he jests.
“a degree? y'know that thing i came here for in the first place.”
“oh ha ha. very funny, yn.” chan mocks, rolling his eyes at you before stealing your sandwich and taking a bite.
the male opposite you clears his throat as a way of telling you both “hi, i’m still here.”
“oh! yn, this is minho. minho, yn.” minho's eyes widen a little and his lips twitch into a small smile.
“so, you're yn. nice to put a face to the name.“ he grins.
“you know me?” you blink a few times in confusion.
“i’m jisung’s roommate.” you mentally slap yourself. of course!
“oh my god. i’m so sorry. i didn't realise! i’m so bad with names.” you whine. minho laughs and brushes it off.
“and how do you know jisung, yn?” chan says with a mouthful of food; your food to be exact. you glare at him, daggers darting out of your eyes and straight into chan as you snatch your sandwich back off him.
“jisung’s my private tutor as of right now.”
“oh.” chan nods before his eyes suddenly light up. he looks at minho for confirmation. “wait, hold up.”
minho nods and smirks. “nah. really?!” you watch the two men talk in code as they communicate by facial expressions and a stings of “ohs” and “yeahs”
“uh, hello. i’m still here!” minho laughs softly.
“sorry, yn.” you shrug it off and eat your sandwich. “how do you two know each other by the way. chan has never mentioned you before.”
“good. keep it that way.” you say coldly, mainly aiming it at chan. chan pouts and nuzzles into you, head on shoulder. he looks at you with puppy eyes and a pout.
“aww. don't be like that, bestie. you secretly love me.” you flick his forehead.
“me and chan are childhood friends. haven't been able to get rid of him since.” chan smiles at your sweet implication. “he's like a parasite. or a fruit fly in the summer.” his smile drops and now, it's your turn to give chan a big, sarcastic grin–teeth and all.
“rude.” he mumbles. you shrug and finish off your sandwich.
“so, jisung is your tutor.” minho speaks. you nod. “are you attending his party?”
“party? what party?” you look at chan and minho. minho sighs a little and runs his fingers through his hair.
“i warned him.” he mumbles under his breath in irritation before looking at you and smiling softly. “me, chan and a few others are organising a birthday party for jisung.”
“his birthday is coming up?!” your eyes widen. “when? i should get him a gift”
“14th.”
“14th?! that's pretty soon.” you mumble.
“jisung told me he would invite you.” you shake your head no. minho rubs the back of his neck. “well, this is awkward.”
“it’s ok. maybe he has his reasons as to why he didn't mention it to me. no biggie.” you say with a smile. minho nods before a few minutes of silence dawn upon the three of you.
“out of curiosity.” you break the silence. “how is jisung in general?” minho tilts his head to the side. “it's just he seems so….” you think for a second, thinking of the right (and nice) word to use “... cold towards me.”
“cold?”
“mhm. he seems so bitter towards me and i don't know why. we barely even talked in class but when we did, he would always tell me i’m making too much noise and to hush.” you slowly start to feel slightly irritated.
“jisung is fine with me.” he says with a. shrug. “he's pretty chill around me.” you huff.
“i know he can be friendly because whenever i see him in the corridors talking to someone, he smiles and is so friendly!”
“what’s he likes now, yn?”
“well, now that we've been spending more time with each other, he's… i don't know… avoiding me to some degree? he won't make eye contact with me. he doesn't like it when i touch him.”
chan raises his brow and looks at minho, both men thinking the same thing. chan puts you in a gentle headlock and ruffles your hair.
“hey!! get off me!!” you push chan a few times, using all your strength to make him release you.
“you're pretty naive, yn.” chan laughs, continuing to ruffle your hair. he ignores your screams and yells, minho laughing at the two of you.
finally, chan let's you go. you push him with all the strength you have left before fixing your hair and glaring at him. chan pouts and nuzzles into you once again.
“i’m sorry, yn. forgive me?” he puckers his lips and makes kissing noises, edging closer and closer to you. you hold him at arm's length.
“ok ok!! just quit doing that!!” chan laughs and pats your head gently.
as fast as he was in the cafeteria, jisung is soon out of it after seeing you and chan, with nothing but festering jealousy in his stomach.
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you bounce through the library to your designated spot at the very back, coffee and cheesecake in each hand with your bag swinging on your shoulder.
jisung is there, punctual, as always. but something seems a little off. the air around him seems thick and suffocating–dark even.
“hey!” your cheerful voice ringing in his ears, making his heart beat fast. you sit next to him and slide over the coffee and cheesecake.
today he's dressed in a yellow and orange flannel shirt and white tank-top. black jeans and boots to accommodate. a few of his nails are painted in black, chipping from wear and tear.
he gives you a cold nod of the head. you frown a little but choose to ignore it as you take your books and pens out of your bag.
“so, what's the plan for today?” jisung shrugs. “...ok, well how about we go over that question i was struggling with?”
“k” he reluctantly moves closer to you. the scent of cinnamon and vanilla wafts towards you and tickles your nostrils, making you let out a small hum of satisfaction.
“you smell good, jisung.”
“mhm, thanks.” you let out a silent sigh. something is wrong with him and you don't know why. is it something you've done? something you haven't done?
jisung is being very dry and sour with you. his usual method of teaching you is that he would go into detail and repeat until you'd understand it, today, however, he's very short and sharp.
“i don't understand.” you say. jisung sighs, a long irritated sigh. you bite your lip, thinking that you've done something to hurt him in any possible way.
“what don't you get?”
“all of it…” he sighs again and rubs his face. his eyebrows furrow together in irritation. the jealousy he is feeling in his stomach is festering, becoming more and more intense.
every time he looks at you, he is reminded of the way you and chan were together. he hates that. how could you fall for someone like chan? he thought you were better than that. his head swimming with negative and harsh thoughts.
before he can stop himself, the words just spill without any control. “why don't you get chan to do it for you.”
you blink. “chan? what does he have to do with this?”
“i mean, you two are close are you not?”
“i mean.. well, yeah, i guess.” you shrug. “he does get on my nerves sometimes though. he is such a pain! but he's a good gu–”
“i thought you were better than that, yn.’ he spits.
“the fuck is that supposed to mean?” you feel the bubbling of rage in your stomach as you stare at jisung, who stares at you back. the jealousy has consumed his body and it's too late to back out now.
“as in, i thought you had standards. chan? of all people? he's a whore, yn. everyone knows that he sleeps around on campus and you chose him?!”
“i don't appreciate the way you're talking about him, jisung.”
“it’s the truth, yn! and you know it so why are you with him?! you can do sooo much better than him!!”
“oh yeah?” you challenge. “then who is good for me, mhm? please, enlighten me?”
jisung freezes. he looks away and chews his bottom lip. you scoff and pack your things in a hurry.
“i don't have to listen to this bullshit. you've been in a shit mood with me this whole time, which is fine. everyone has bad days. what's not ok, however, is you taking it out on me and bad mouthing the people i care about.” you stand up, swinging your bag onto your shoulder. jisung stares at one spot of the desk, burning holes into it. “text me when you're in a better mood.”
you walk out, leaving jisung to think about what he has just done.
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“jisunggggg. sungieeee. knock, knock. let me innn!” the sound of minho's high-pitched, cheery voice irritates jisung to the bone. he lets out a slow and irritated groan, hot puffs of air slowly exhaling from his nostrils.
he pushes his glasses up his nose and runs his fingers through his unwashed hair. sitting at his desk in the same baggy band t-shirt and sweats from a few days ago, he checks his phone for the nth time, only to be disappointed.
he hasn't spoken to you nor seen you since that day. in class, it's worse. he's tried to catch your eye a few times, smiling when he does, only for you to turn away. he spent days loathing in his own self pity, locking himself up in his room and only coming out for food, bathroom breaks and class.
minho has had enough. not only is jisung's mood ruining the atmosphere, but minho has no idea as to what happened that day. he was home when jisung came back to the dorm, looking like he was on the verge of tears.
when he asked, jisung always gave the same answer of “mind your own business.”–and he has; for several days now.
“let me in, jisung.” the repetitive sounds of minho's knuckles against the wood door cause jisung's stomach to bubble more intensely with anger–until he finally snaps.
he rushes to the door and swings it open, brows furrowed together. minho's smug grin makes him foam at the mouth.
“what part of leave me alone don't you understand, minho?” jisung's words dripping with poison. minho shrugs it off.
“all of it.” he pushes past jisung, making himself at home in his bedroom. jisung has no time to protest, all he can do is watch his best friend jump on his bed and rest on his back, arms behind his head.
with a heavy sigh, jisung walks back to his desk. he turns his back on him, hoping that if he ignores his friend, he will get bored and eventually leave. minho watches his friend pick up and put down his phone several times to the point where minho feels irritated by it.
“so?” minho starts
“so?” jisung repeats
“going to tell me what's happened? haven't seen you this down in a while.”
“nope. i'm good.”
“you can't keep moping around the place, jisung.”
“i can and i will.” minho groans and stands up, walking out of the bedroom. jisung mentally cheers only for it to be cut short when minho throws his jacket at jisung.
“put it on.” it's more of a demand than a sentence, but nonetheless, jisung obliges because if he doesn't, minho will force it on him.
“where are we going?”
“to the cafe.” minho puts on his shoes, jisung following suit.
“aah, dude.. i don't really fe–”
“shut up, we're going to the cafe whether you want to or not. a change of scenery might cheer your moody ass up because, to be quite honest, i’m tired of seeing your gloomy ass face.” he looks at jisung who is frowning at him. “in the nicest way possible, of course.”
jisung rolls his eyes before following minho to the local (and one of his favourite) cafes.
it's a small, local café with an old fashioned sense of style to it. the tables and chairs are worn. cushions on the chairs losing their stuffing and the tables scratched and chipped. the décor is outdated, indicating that the café has been there for quite a few years; but it feels like home to some.
the bell above the door chimes as minho and jisung walk in. they walk to the counter and say their orders before taking their lunch and drinks and sitting at a table.
jisung takes a sip of the coffee. he feels the ice cold beverage trickling down his esophagus and into his empty stomach. minho munches on his chicken salad sandwich, watching his friend look in his drink and ponder.
“i fucked up.” jisung mumbles, lost in thought. the more he thinks about you, the more he can feel the tears threaten to spill down his cheeks. minho tilts his head to the side and as he is about to open his mouth and encourage his friend to continue, a familiar sound in the form of a laugh causes jisung's head to shoot up and look in that direction.
his eyes widen. he feels relief and happy to see a smile finally on your face; but then that same, the green monster in the form of jealousy parks itself on his shoulder and starts whispering in his ear.
minho watches jisung's jaw muscles clench. his facial expression goes from relief to jealousy. minho follows jisung's gaze and raises his brow at the sight of you and chan.
chan is being his usual, goofy self. he's telling you typical dad jokes and being a little grotest by telling you his latest hook-up details. you push him by the arm and roll your eyes, sipping your coffee in the process. chan continues to joke around with you, play fighting a little by wrapping his arm around the back of your neck loosely and rubbing the top of your head with his knuckles.
“i can't fucking stand this.” jisung mutters bitterly under his breath. minho turns and looks at his friend who is green with jealousy.
“stand what?”
“seeing someone as precious and innocent as yn be with someone like chan!” minho blinks a few times.
“what do you… jisung, what do you think yn and chans relationship is?”
“isnt it obvious? they're going out!” minho gives jisung a few blank stares and blinks before bursting out into laughter, choking on his own saliva in the process. “what?!”
jisungs cheeks flush red with embarrassment but also with anger. his own friend laughing at his statement, finding amusement in his sorrows.
“are you serious? please tell me you're joking?” minho stutters through his giggles.
“dead serious.” jisung says, deadpan. “don't you see the way they are with each other? i saw you all the other day, in the cafeteria! chan's arm around yn and them being all…. lovey!!”
“oh my god.” minho calms himself down. “you really are serious!”
“i told you! i even asked yn about it and well… it didn't go so well.”
“is that why you've been so moody and upset lately?” jisung nods his head slowly, feeling some type of guilt. minho sighs heavily, wondering how he can soften the blow of the news he's about to give his best friend.
“jisung…” minho starts. “yn and chan are not dating.” jisung's face drops.
“excuse me?”
“they're not dating. they're just childhood best friends. apparently they've known each other since they were kids. “
“so you're telling me.. that i got it all wrong when i saw you three in the cafeteria?“ minho slowly nods whilst giving a sympathetic smile. jisung sits back in his seat in disbelief. “why did chan never mention yn?! fuck, i fucked up… i really, really fucked up…”
“oh, c’mon. it can't be that bad.” minho tries to lighten the situation.
“dude. i told her i thought she had standards! i called her best friend a whore!”
“i mean, chan is a whore. he knows he is and he doesn't hid–”
“dude, please.” jisung interrupts. “not right now.” minho shrugs and sips his coffee whilst jisung rubs his face whilst groaning. “what do i do?”
“well.” minho puts down his coffee. “you make it right. admit you were in the wrong. explain how you were a jealous lil guy because you like her and that you fucked up.”
“and how do i do that? she’s been avoiding me for weeks and it’s not like i can go up to her right now and be like oh hey yn, sorry i called your best friend a whore oh, by the way, i like you.” jisung mocks himself in a high pitched voice, his face turning red in frustration.
“you're so dramatic.” minho rolls his eyes with a soft, yet heavy sigh. “for a smart guy, you're pretty dumb too.”
“pft, am not!” jisung scoffs and folds his arms across his chest. “... only when it comes to stuff like this.” he mumbles. “i just… don't know what to do or how to fix it. i really, really like her, minho.”
“ok? and? what do you want me to do about it? there's no point telling me about your feelings for yn. i'm not the one that fucked up and then decided to hold myself up in my room to drown in my own self-pity.” minho says with a shrug.
to the outside world, minho's words sound harsh but to jisung, it's a reality check.
he sighs softly for the nth time as he glances over at you. he watches you laugh and smile with chan, soaking in your beauty and the way you glow with happiness.
“to make it easier for you.” minho breaks the few seconds of silence between the two, feeling a little responsible for his friend in need. “i may have mentioned your birthday party to yn.”
“what?! why?”
“bro, you weren't going to mention it! so i just.. did you a favour.” minho shrugs, a smug look on his face.
“... is she coming?”
minho shrugs. “dunno. she seemed interested at least but this was before you called her best friend a whore so–”
“that was an accident. i didn't mean to.. i just got too–”
“worked up? jealous perhaps?” minho says, or rather states, with a raised brow. jisung hums and nods his head slowly, teeth chewing on his bottom lip.
minho chews on his straw as he watches his friend think. he can see the cogs turning in jisung's skull. jisung is inexperienced when it comes to relationships so seeing him like this, brings minho slight amusement.
“look, jisung. if she turns up, you approach her and apologise whilst also telling her how you feel.” minho holds his hand up to jisung who is just about to protest but is quick to close his mouth and listen. “if she doesn't turn up, you find her the next day, apologise and tell her how you feel. heck, text her if you have to!”
“dude… you know i can't do that!”
“ok. then you have the other option, which is to keep wallowing in your self pity and watch yn from the sidelines.” minho shrugs. “i don't know dude. be the main character for once. you clearly like her so take the chance.”
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jisung's birthday rolled around. you haven't heard nor spoken to him since the argument so you didn't originally plan on turning up to his birthday party; but chan being chan is forcing you to go as his plus one.
“is this ok?” you smooth down your party outfit as you present yourself to chan. chan is sitting at your dressing table, dressed in blue, skinny jeans, a compression shirt that hugs and molds his muscles and combat boots. a silver chain around his neck, earrings in one ear and a few rings on his fingers.
he looks up from his phone and smirks playfully. he wolf whistles at you to which you scoff and roll your eyes at.
“looking good there, yn.”
“really? i threw this together at the last minute.’
“you look great, don't worry. you're gonna knock ‘em dead.” chan laughs.
“i really don't want to go, chan.” you groan.
“weeeell, too late. you're coming with me to this party, even if i have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you there.”
chan has heard about your little argument with jisung from minho. the two of them had a drink together during the week and chan listened to minho vent about jisung.
once minho mentioned the fight did it all come together. you've been feeling down and withdrawn, not knowing what to do or how to deal with your feelings. you've put on a fake smile and basically faked your way through the weeks–but chan has known you for years so he can see through you, he just didn't want to press you.
you'll come to him when the time is right; you always do.
“do i have to?” you ask for the nth time whilst putting on your shoes. chan laughs at your contradicting actions and shakes his head before standing up.
“yes, you do. it'll be fun and hopefully, it'll lift your spirits.” you pout.
“i have been a little moody lately, haven't i?” chan raises his brows and scoffs.
“a little!? pur-lease! i thought knives were going to spawn out of your eyes at one point.”
“mhm.. i’m sorry chan. it's just been a long couple of weeks with a lot of thinking.” you sigh softly. chan elbows your side gently.
“hey. let's not think about that right now. let's go to this party, have a couple of drinks and a dance, yeah?” you nod slowly.
“not like i have a say in this.”
“that's my girl. now.” chan grabs your hand gently and pulls you to the front door. “let's go have some fuuuun!!!”
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it's loud. the bass of the music rings in your ears and shakes the ground beneath you.
it smells. the stench of stale cigarettes, sweat and alcohol tickles your nostrils and causes you to feel lightheaded and nauseous.
you've tried several times to turn away and head back but chan was always right there.
chan abandoned you to go chat up some girls so you're sat on the sofa, surrounded by people making out, drinking or passing out (if they haven't already)
you hold your red, plastic solo cup which is filled halfway with some punch. the smell is pungent and the taste is awful. it's too strong for your liking so you take small, delicate sips.
as the night rolls on, you have yet to see jisung. not that you want to but, it would help you feel some comfort and less suffocated to see a familiar face.
you glance at your phone screen. 11:20 pm. it's soon time for you to leave. you don't want to be here any longer than you have to and considering that chan has left you alone, you don't feel the need to be here any more.
you stand up from the couch to walk to the kitchen. you shimmy your way in and out of crowds of people who are dancing, talking or making out with someone that they won't remember tomorrow.
you pour your drink down the sink and throw away your empty cup. as you're about to turn and leave, a familiar voice is heard from behind.
“yn. hi.”
you turn on your heels and a sense of relief washes over you as you come face to face with a face you've been longing to see (even if you don't want to admit it)
you forget why you're so angry at him for a split second. his beauty never fails to make you feel star struck and silently go “wow.” but then you remember.
“hi.” you reply coldly.
“can i talk to you?” he shouts, hoping his voice isn't drowned out by the music.
“not right now. i was just about to leave.” you walk past him to leave. jisung grabs your arm gently to stop you. you look at him and he is quick to remove his hand.
“please? just… let me explain…” he chews his bottom lip, his brows scrunched together in the middle. you think for a second and sigh softly, nodding slowly.
“ok. fine. but make it quick.” you swear you see the corner of jisung's lips curl into a subtle smile, his eyes lighting up a little. he beckons you to follow him so you do.
you follow him outside. compared to inside, where it's hot and humid, the harsh, cold night air is refreshing and soothes your damp skin.
“look.” he starts as he stops walking to turn to you. “i know i was a complete asshole.” you scoff but don't say anything. “it's just… aah fuck, how do i say this.”
you watch jisung slowly become flustered. the tips of his ears turn red, his hands clammy as he shakes a little. he shuffles on his feet to shift his weight and avoids eye contact with you.
“fuck.. this is so hard… minho said it'd be easy once i get talking but fuck minho.” jisung rambles to himself. the anger you felt slowly disappears and is replaced with… joy?
your stomach feels a little bubbly and tingly with excitement as you watch this nerd, whom you've grown so accustomed to, become easily flustered and shy because of you.
“just say what's on your mind, jisung.” you say with a shrug. his eyes flicker at you for a second before looking to the ground.
“ok.. well…” he takes a deep breath. ”i like you and i always have and the reason why i got so pissed and called chan a whore, who i later found out was your childhood best friend, was because i was jealous of how close he was to you and i saw red and i didn't mean it. in fact, i've been cooped up in my bedroom in my own self-pity because i'm a coward and i don't deserve someone as wonderful as you and i’m really sorry. can you forgive me for being a lil silly?”
you blink at him several times. jisung dared take a breath during his little speech so all the information that has suddenly been laid on you, isn't going through your head right now.
“ah fuck.. i fucked up again, haven't i?” jisung shakes, his voice wavering as it breaks the tension in the air. his nerves shaking his body as a shaky hand picks at the skin around his fingernails. “god i knew i shouldn't have said anything. why did i take minho's dumb advice.”
“i… i don't know what to say, jisung. it's all so much.” you say in pure shock.
“oh, that's ok! i’m not looking for an answer right now. please, take your time. i just wanted you to know my true feelings and why i acted out. the last thing i want is for you to feel forced.”
“so let me get this straight. the reason you acted out is because you got jealous of chan, thinking that we were dating?” you watch jisung slowly nod his head, his cheeks turning pink; whether that's from embarrassment or from the harsh cold air. “and that you.. like me?”
jisung nods again. “silly, right?” he laughs, trying to soothe himself of the raging anxiety that's heavy in his heart and stomach.
“no.. no! not at all. i think it's kinda… cute.”
“cute?”
“yeah. i mean, well, being away from you has got me thinking about me, you and well.. us and how i feel.” jisung walks closer to you, closing the gap between you both.
“and how do you feel, yn?” you swallow a little. the atmosphere has suddenly shifted between you both. jisung is close to you, his body daring to press against you.
you can see every detail of his honey skin under the faint moonlight. the cold breeze sweeps between his hair strands. a faint hint of cinnamon and apple from his aftershave tickles and hugs your nose making you inhale deeply for more.
“at first, i was angry at you. i didn't understand why you were so angry. but i spoke to chan about it and during the conversation, he made me realise something.”
“what?” jisung encourages. he gingerly places his hands on your waist, unsure and testing the waters. his touch is as light as a feather and when you don't push him away, his grip becomes firm.
“that maybe, i like you too and i have for the longest time. i just never realised it because i thought you hated me but, when we spent all that time together, i started to notice the smallest of things about you and i found them to be so cute. but they're cute because it's you.”
you slowly run your hands up his chest to his shoulder. his breath hitches and body trembles from your touch. with more confidence, jisung pulls your body flush against his own, closing the gap completely.
“so, you like me too?” his voice dips to a whisper. you hum and nod slowly. “do you have any idea how happy that makes me?”
“why don't you show me.” you whisper against his lips, teasing him by brushing yours against his slowly and gently. they feel soft and plump, kissable even.
“you're playing a dangerous game, yn. you have no idea how long i've wanted you.”
“show me.” you whisper again, furthering your teasing by ever so lightly licking his bottom lip with the tip of your tongue.
“fuck.” jisung groans. his lips crash against yours in a heated kiss that's filled with longing. your eyes widen a little but are quick to flutter close. you melt into the kiss, the both of you becoming synchronised instantly.
you tilt your head to the side a little to allow jisung to deepen the kiss. he licks your bottom lip and you part your lips slowly.
his tongue slides in to meet yours and you're in a battle of dominance that you lose. jisung's hot kisses make you melt and crave for more. you forget about your surroundings, forget where you are. everything is a buzz in your ears and you can only focus on you, jisung and how your body is tingling and twitching.
jisung is the first to pull away. he pants heavily, his own body trembling with excitement.
“wow.” you hum in agreement. as soon as his lips are off yours, you want them back on you again; whether that's on your own lips or on your body, you don't care as long as you get to feel the softness again.
“is this real?” he asks.
“it's real.” you respond, giggling softly. “and i’m not drunk either so.”
“so, what does this make us?” jisung cautiously asks. he wants to have an idea of what you two are slowly becoming. he wants to make sure you're both on the same page.
“whatever you want us to be, jisung.”
“well, i want you to be mine. i want to show you off to the world, proudly. i want everyone to know that you belong to me. i want to spend every single second of the day with you and during the night, i want to spend every single second caressing your body from head to toe. i want to soak myself in every single bit of detail from your body. i want to drown you in pleasure and my love.”
you swallow and let out a small, shaky breath at the implications behind his words. your body trembles with excitement and anticipation from where tonight is going to end and for the future with jisung.
“then.. shall we go ditch the party and go back to mine? because i want that too.” with a fast nod of the head, jisung holds your hand and is quick to make way to yours.
“let's go and let's be quick. i want to make you mine, in more ways than one.”
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Hi! I was inspired by @artsymeeshee work on Sea Grunks specifically how they depict Ford. He just seems so warm and friendly and protective so, I decided to scaffold out my own little Post-GF AU in which Ford has decided to teach Cryptozoology at Roadkill County Community College and how he makes connections there. He has his family but needs friends too.
Cryptozoology 101: Chapter One
- Today was the day. New semester, a fresh start to the year. Or at least that’s what Neena Caballero wants to think. This is going to be her third year at Roadkill Community College, studying..well, even she had forgotten at this point. Last semester hadn’t been her best so she’s earning extra credit by being a TA for Cryptozoology 101: An Intro to the Paranormal taught by a Doctor Stanford Pines. She didn’t know the first thing about animals, let alone..crypto-animals? Whatever.
- Doctor Stanford Pines has been in his classroom since five-thirty in the morning, writing out his notes for the morning on the white board. They are neat and in perfectly lines, but the board is completely filled. He’s moved onto the wall.
- Neena opens the door.
- Stanford turns around. Ah, that must be his TA. He turns around.
- He doesn’t exactly know what he expected someone named Neena to look like. She has brown, freckled skin, a squared face and jaw. She seems athletic based on the shorts and jersey she’s wearing, layered underneath a blue-and-white color blocked letterman’s jacket. Her hair is voluminous and curly. The emerald pendants in her ears catch the light. Her dark eyes scan the room in confusion.
- “Hello,” He greets. “You must be Neena—or,” he remembers her name listed on the roster. “Diana is also on the roster I was given if you prefer to be called that.” He folds his hands behind his back, dry-erase marker still in his palms
- Neena is a little shocked to hear her first name; her mother was the only person who ever called her that and they don’t talk anymore. “Neena is fine.” She rubs her forearm; inked on it is a snake; it’s drawn so it looks like it’s curling upwards. Stanford wants to ask about it, but he doesn’t. Instead his gaze trails down to her sneakers. Bright red Converse High tops.
- “I remember having a pair of those when I was your age.”
- “Huh?” Neena looks at her feet. “Oh, yeah.” She chuckles. “These are my favorites.”
- A long and awkward pause ensues.
- “Well,” Stanford clears his throat. “What do you know about anomalies?” He asks her and waits patiently for an answer.
- “Nothing,” Neena isn’t afraid to admit that, because she truly doesn’t know anything about anomalies. She knows the town over, Gravity Falls, where she lives, is known for having monsters and other types of supernatural creatures in their midst but she doesn’t really believe in that. Stanford smiles. “Well, I hope you’ll learn a lot this semester, then. What’s your major?”
- She wants to say English, because that’s what she wants to do so badly, but instead she says Biology. “I want to be a science teacher.”
- “Oh, that’s lovely,” He nods and taps his forehead with his index finger. “Nourishing young minds, a respectable line of work.”
- Neena smiles. “Sure is.”
- Stanford starts to go over the curriculum. The class starts to file in; some of them are baby faced high-school graduates, some are a little older. Neena’s seen them around town, and then there are a few parents, even.
- Their first lesson begins with an introduction to mythos, specifically Greek and Mayan. Neena tries her best to pay attention. It’s her whole job. Today is September 2nd. Today is her birthday. One week before, she found out she was pregnant. Three days ago, her boyfriend left.
- It was her birthday and no one called. Not her brother, not her mom. Not her best friend back in Boston. No one.
- Her stomach lurches.
- “First, we must go over the Greek Pantheon. The twelve main gods did not materialize out of nowhere. There were titans, the most powerful of which was Kronos..”
- The words on the board start to swim and churn, falling over each other in waves. Swim, Neena, just keep swimming. You know all of this.
- “Kronos was a ruthless leader who did not want his children to overthrow him, so he ate them all.” Dr. Pines was clearly a storyteller. “But one, who would become the God King, lit a fire in his father’s belly..”
- The fluttering in Neena’s belly grows louder and louder. She just keeps her head down and tries to listen and write down something to post on Clockwork, the note-sharing website that she has to use. Kronos. Zeus. God-King. Pantheon. Babies. Fire. Olympus.
- “Neena?”
- Class is over. Class is over. She missed the bell because she was so deep in her thoughts. She’s only written words, six of them in the first page of her notebook.
- Her lip quivers. Her eyes begin to water. She sniffles.
- “Sorry.” She closes the notebook. “I’m sorry. There’s just..a lot h-happening in my life.”
- And though the last thing she wants to do is sink into someone’s arms, Neena with bruise-blossomed skin and tired arms, a simply exhausted head that’s clouded by thoughts she believed she wouldn’t have, not now.
- She cried. And Dr. Pines let her. Once she was done, she wiped her eyes with her sleeve and it all starts to pour out.
- “I..uh, just found out I’m pregnant. And it’s my birthday. And it’s my third year of college. And I teach, well, boxing. And it pays the bills, and..I don’t know. I just don’t know.” She picks up her bag.
- Stanford feels unease twist in his gut. This poor girl. It’s her birthday, for Tesla’s sake. “I know that we don’t know each other well,” He had only known her for less than two hours but he felt for her. “But I’m..I would like to be a resource of some sort. If you need time to post notes online or grade papers, then that’s okay.”
- Instantly, Neena feels a great sense of relief and a great swell of dread; this guy was already pitying her and ninety-nine percent of the time, she wouldn’t have stood for it. But she was glad to have support of some sort.
- “Thank you, sir—I, professor. I—thanks.” She wipes her eyes with her sleeve again.
- Ford smiles; his eyes crinkle at the corners. “Of course, Neena. I’ll see you Wednesday when we go deeper into Mayan and Muisca mythology.”
- “Okay. Great.”
- It was Neena’s only class of the day, so she books it to the parking lot and gets in her car, a Ford Taurus painted celery green, a tester color, and a busted bumper. She gets into the drivers’ side and just sits there for an hour scrolling though her contacts deleting, deciding to keep them, it was a cycle that repeated itself. Then two hours passed. Then three.
- Fuck. It was late. She had to get home. Lovecraft Heights was cozy and snug; it overlooks the lake. Neena’s apartment is on the first floor, and she has a clear path down to the water’s edge. Nightfall is swift and she’s taken refuge in her own mind, reading her copy of Gareth Hind’s Odyssey for the million time. She’s curled up on the couch, engrossed in the pages of Penelope’s challenge when she hears it. She takes off her headphones which are blasting the Hamilton soundtrack and hears it again.
- Singing, so sweet and melodic that it must have come from the heavens or something.
- She goes outside, book in hand, headphones around her neck and slowly inches toward the water. Even though she doesn’t want to. Something feels off. She slips her headphones back on her head. The lakefront is idyllic; sparkling green waters - moonlight shimmered across the rippling landscape. There’s a shadow sitting on the white sands of the shores.
- Out of the foam comes a..a fish? But it has teeth or..or fangs and eyes and long, webbed hands.
- Oh, shit. Oh, holy shit. Oh, holy shit. That’s a siren. That’s a siren. She breaks into a sprint and approaches the person by the water. He’s a kid, with a journal in his lap. He has this glazed over look in his eyes.
- The siren is just staring at him with her big green sclera. Her hair hangs around her face like a wet curtain.
- In a moment of, well she didn’t know what, Neena rips her headphones off of her head and puts them onto the boys. “Come on, we gotta go.”
- He was not going to stand up, so she lifted him over her shoulder in a fireman’s carry. She could stand the noise so long if she was running away from that fish demon, right?
- “Dipper?” Called a voice. “Dipper, where are you?” It was one Neena recognized immediately. Dr. Pines came running down the path to the shore. He was in a slim, black trenchcoat, cargo pants, and work-boots that were covered in mud. “Neena!”
- “Dr. Pines, I…” Her mind went hazy.
- Dr. Pines reached into his pocket and pulled out two little yellow earplugs. “Put these in.
- “But-“
- “Give me the boy, just put those in.”
- Neena did as told and followed the two up the path to the parking lot. The boy is still dazed, but at least he’s coherent.
- “I didn’t mean to, Great Uncle Ford. I thought she was far enough away so I wouldn’t be affected.”
- Dr. Pines steadies his great-nephew by the shoulders. “I understand. But I asked you not to go without me.”
- The boy, Dipper, seems so disappointed. “I’m sorry.”
- Neena takes out the earplugs. Just by feeling the texture she knows they’re beeswax. Pure beeswax.
- “Just like in the Odyssey.”
- Dr. Pines glances at Neena. “Yes, I suppose I was inspired by that.”
- “You suppose?” Neena laughs. “You took a page right out of Odysseus’ handbook.”
- Dr. Pines smiles at Neena. “Alright, I guess I did.” He gives Neena back her headphones; Dipper shuffles off to the old station mustard-yellow station wagon that’s old enough to have belonged to her grandfather.
- Dr. Pines sets a hand on Neena’s shoulder. “I can’t thank you enough.”
- “It was nothing,” The understatement of the century, maybe.
- “You weren’t telling me the whole truth today,”
- “Huh?”
- “You know more about anomalies than you said you did.”
- Neena doesn’t know what to say. She just shrugs.
- Dr. Pines bids her farewell again, and thank you, and gets in his car. Neena watches as he pulls out of the parking lot and lingers by the shore path for a little while longer before going back inside.
#gravity falls#gravity falls fandom#gravity falls au#stanford pines#stanley pines#dipper pines#gf fandom#writerscommunity#writers on tumblr#fanfic#fanfiction writer#ocs#gf ocs
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Custom! For TempestTossed!! On Toyhouse!!!
Uhh bark bark doggy boy. This took too long lmfao
The person I drew this for is great and deserves some love so!! Here's the character's page!
https://toyhou.se/29660097.nero
And it's back to the void for me. Farewell, Tschüss, etc (I will be back soon, maybe)
#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#my art#finally im actually posting art that i made#cin draws#original character#dog#commission#art commission#not actually a commission but my comms are open (shameless plug)#i just need to post the pricing info#oh my god it has been so long since i posted#oops
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when u name urself after ur fictional crush but your entire friend group also knows the reference
#kon el#conner kent#wendy kent#my new tag for her :)#superboy#hate tagging that one but it is the character#young justice#yj98#teen titans#core four#SHE'S BACK!!!!!!!!!#GOD i missed her. wendy kent my beloved!!!!!!!!!#i meant to make something like this after wendy won the name poll i posted but. well. i forgot.#oh well!! she's here and i love her#WOW it has been a long time since ive posted art!! shes so powerful that she gets me out of art block every time#art#my art#weaverofink#OH YEAH if u look closely at her barrette its the wonder woman logo!!!! cassie bought it for her :)
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Damian Wayne: Figure Skater
or: Damian Wayne Fluff Because Damian Wayne Deserves Joy and Happiness <3
Damian Wayne prides himself on being good at everything he does. He never half-asses anything.
Damian has tried tons of different skills before. He’s mastered dozens of martial arts, become fluent in over thirty languages, earned several PhDs, and he’s not even a teenager yet. Why? He needs to be the best or it’s not good enough.
But there are only so many skills that give him the same joy as when he started. Studio art is his favorite and has always been a constant for him, but he’s yet to find something else. Something that truly invigorates him.
At 12, Damian watches the Winter Olympics with Dick. It’s his first ever time viewing the Olympics, and he doesn’t really know what he was expecting, but Damian is…kind of underwhelmed.
Everyone talked about how the Olympics are supposed to be this grandiose display of the world’s talents, but most of it’s pretty boring.
Curling is boring. Alpine is slow and monotonous. Bobsledding is repetitive, and sled dog racing seems unethical.
But then figure skating comes on. And Damian is captivated.
Without even realizing, he moved right in front of the television and watched an hour of figure skating uninterrupted. Dick notices and smiles.
“Aren’t they cool?” Dick asks. Damian, with his eyes still glued to the screen, nods. “Wanna go to the local rink with me and try it out? It’s even more fun than it looks.”
That pulls Damian out of his trance, and he closes himself off. “No. I don’t need to.”
He just thought it was cool, okay? And he totally doesn’t want to try it himself. And he totally isn’t worried that he won’t be good at it and fall like an idiot in front of his older brother if he does.
It’s just that…it’s so cool!!
Damian knows agility, okay? He can do flips and tricks with ease, and he knows how to do it with both grace and poise. But these people? They can do it on ice! With blades on their feet!!
OF COURSE DAMIAN WANTS TO DO COOL TRICKS WITH SHARP BLADES STRAPPED TO HIS FEET
Admittedly, he goes through a two-month-long period of pretending he isn’t dying to try it. He almost completely forgets. Then, by complete coincidence, Cass and Duke invite him to an indoor skating rink, and he caves. Maybe it’s not that hard.
Spoiler: Figure Skating is Hard
Within five seconds, he falls flat on his face. How do people do this? Cass and Duke say it’s normal, but he still refuses to leave the wall the whole time out of shame.
Once they’re home, however, Damian realizes how stupid that was. He’s Damian Wayne Al Ghul. He can’t just give up! What would the rest of his family think?! What if they go back one day, and he just falls flat on his face again? There’s no excuse the second time, and he doesn’t want the others to think he can’t do it.
So that night, he sneaks back into the rink after hours and tries again. And again. And again. And again.
On the fifth try, he is able to make it all the way around the rink. He realizes that he’s distributing his weight wrong. (Stupid mistake, of course. He’s essentially balancing on knives.) That makes it a lot easier, but he’s still flapping his arms around like a bird.
He spends two more hours improving his balance, then decides that’s good enough. He did what he came here to do, and he doesn’t need to come back.
Two days later, he comes back. (I mean, who knows? Maybe, he’s gotten better.) He didn’t, obviously. But what harm is there in spending some more time on the ice? Other than the collection of bruises he acquires.
He falls way more than he’d like to admit, but once he teaches himself how to do that safely, it’s actually kind of fun. He circles the rink countless times, figures out to start and stop (though it is admittedly a very ungraceful way of stopping.) He can even kind of control his speed.
So he’s done, right? He did it! He can now ice skate to a degree that isn’t mortifying for a beginner. He doesn’t need to come back.
The Short Program
One week and four visits later, he admits that he is hooked. He wants to see how far he can go with this. But he can’t just improve without proper guidance, so he decides to take Tim’s advice for once and use the internet.
That’s when he really starts improving. Exponentially. He pours over articles and videos and diagrams about gliding, stopping, pivots, crossovers, and finally some simple spins. Just basics, of course.
He also purchases his own pair of skates because the rental ones he’s been “borrowing” suck. And they smell. And he forges a membership card (you know, so there’s no paper trail.)
His original goal is to make it to free skate level, but once he’s there, he can’t stop. It’s just so gratifying to add another skill to his repertoire. If he can do front crossovers, then he can surely master them backward. Closed Mohawks shouldn’t be that bad if the open Mohawks were so easy. Before he knows it, he’s spending hours every week developing his skills.
After a few months, his improvement plateaus because the jumps prove difficult. He doesn’t know how to build up the speed, and his stealth and fighting techniques (which he’s been borrowing from thus far) just make him wipe out. So he works on that for a bit and tries to figure out what he’s doing wrong.
During a JL meeting, The Flash happens to mention a rogue who used to figure skate. Lisa Snart, or the Golden Glider, is a famous figure skater from the 90s, but she was kicked from the Olympic team due to her life of crime. Now, she jumps between both petty crime and vigilantism.
Damian tracks her down and claims to be researching the sport for a school assignment. Yeah, it’s a bit thin of a cover story. If she wanted to see through his lie, she’d only have to break into his school and check his teacher’s assignment book, but once he laments about how every other skater is busy, and he was so surprised to learn that she was no longer skating when she’s clearly so talented, Lisa happily tells him all of the secrets to the sport.
For a few months, he applies her techniques and even asks her to skate for him a few times, recording her from multiple angles. “I value the quality of my education,” he explains. She sees through the lie but doesn’t say anything. (And somehow, he doesn’t particularly care.)
In the coming year, Bruce notices a change in how Robin moves during patrol. If he had to describe it…well, there’s a lot more power behind his movement. He redistributes his momentum with ease, which proves extremely valuable. There’s more height to his jumps and speed in his attacks. On top of it all, he can reorient himself quicker.
Bruce praises Damian once they’re back at the cave and even allows him more freedom during missions. Damian totally doesn’t cry about it in his room.
The Free Skate
Damian refuses to let anyone watch him practice for YEARS to save his pride. I mean, yes, he’s at free skate level 5—thanks, Lisa—but he’s not at level 6 yet! And that won’t take too long, right? Maybe they can know once he’s mastered his quad axel (which is a totally doable goal. He’s not overachieving. He’s Damian Wayne Al Ghul.)
Next, he works on transitions. At first, he copies other skaters’ forms, then he slowly develops his own. It’s sharp in some ways and fluid in others like he’s been on ice his whole life but he’s got places to be.
At about 15 or 16, he invites Jon to come with him one day. He shows him “a few spins” (triple axels) and Jon immediately starts encouraging him to join some kind of showcase or competition.
Damian’s response is “No! I’m not good enough yet. I still can’t land a quad axel. That’s insulting.”
Cue Jon’s family-friendly “bitch please” face. He says, “Okay, but you need to show someone else. I can’t be the only person in the world who knows.” so they get Billy in on it.
He’s obviously good at keeping secrets, considering he hid his age and the fact he was homeless from the JL for five years.
Billy also loses his shit, but he’s more understanding about the “I don’t want to tell anyone else” thing. Thus, Jon and Billy become Damian’s cover for every time he’s caught sneaking out. (He was running out of excuses anyway.)
Bruce hears that Damian is hanging out with Jon and Billy every week, gives him a look, and tells him he’s proud that he’s making friends.
Damian nods along, thanking all the gods in Billy’s head that his secret is safe. If Bruce doesn’t have any reason to snoop, then he won’t. Simple as that. The greatest detective in the world doesn’t need to start snooping.
During the next Winter Olympics, Damian watches every single skating performance from the comfort of his room. (Tim can hear him yelling at his TV through the walls but doesn’t have the energy to question it.)
Jon and Billy are his cheerleaders. They go out for lunch then head to the rink with him and mess around while Damian practices. Sometimes, they spend all day together. Doing homework, gossiping, playing fun little games.
Damian keeps mentioning the quad axel to them until Jon looks it up and says, “Um, hey Dami? Apparently, the quad axel is like…almost physically impossible. You know that, right?“ “If Lisa Snart and Ilia Malinin can do it, so can I.” “Okay, Mr. PhD.” Still, they don’t doubt him for a second.
Damian teaches them some stuff during a public skate in Fawcett City. Jon cheats multiple times by floating a tiny bit to keep his balance. Billy falls a lot.
As much as he likes being with his friends, though, Damian finds himself skating more to clear his head rather than to improve or socialize.
When he has a bad patrol or gets into some trouble he could have avoided, he’ll sneak into the rink alone and skate for hours.
He’ll pour all of his frustration into the music and carve it out into the ice until he’s exhausted and lying down with the cold surface against his back, letting it sink some sense into him.
It’s a good outlet. Kind of like his art, but there are only so many pencils you can snap in anger before your dad cuts your art supply budget. Bruce doesn’t know about this yet.
Six months later, when Damian lands his first quad axel in front of Jon and Billy, they all scream for five consecutive minutes and celebrate with hot chocolate and sorbet.
“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Tim asks when he’s back home. Damian tries to hide his smile but fails spectacularly. “Oh, nothing.” He’s never had a problem with schooling his emotions before, but anything is possible now. Even a quad fucking axel.
Competition Season
During patrol one day, Dick sees Damian spinning on the roof and says, “Hey, where’d you get those sick ballet moves? Did Black Bat teach you that?” Damian immediately stops and says, “Uh yeah.” Thankfully, Dick doesn’t ask Cass to confirm.
At 17, Jason catches him sneaking out at 10 pm and unknowingly opens an entire can of worms.
Damian, too tired to make a good excuse: “I’m seeing Jon.” Jason: “Like a date?” Damian, dying inside: “…Don’t tell Baba.”
At 18, he’s able to reliably land the quad axel and do it with style. It’s almost more gratifying than punching criminals in the face. (Almost.) That’s when Jon and Billy finally bring up the idea of telling others about it.
Damian is still hesitant, but he thinks about it.
I mean, he’s made a lot of progress in six years, hasn’t he? The only other thing he’s spent so long practicing was his assassin training, then his vigilantism, and his art. But this one is special because it’s just his. (And Jon and Billy. Kinda.) And getting to show off to them is fun, especially when he perfects another element, and they got batshit crazy together over it. That would be nice, wouldn’t it? Having a few more people to mess around with in the rink?
He just doesn’t know if it’ll be impressive enough. After all, his entire family is great at stuff. Bruce is the world’s greatest detective—how he hasn’t learned about this yet, Damian doesn’t know. Dick is a beyond incredible acrobat. Jason has one of the highest proficiencies in marksmanship ever. Tim is the best bo staff user on this side of the Atlantic...
...And Damian can do jumps and tricks on the ice. Wow, cool. Good job, Damian.
But then he’s twelve again. And he’s sitting in front of the TV watching Yuzuru Hanyu and Yuna Kim do triple axels, and Dick is inviting him to try it out together. And Cass and Dick are taking him to the rink because they thought it’d be fun. And Lisa is rambling about how she misses skating competitively. And Bruce is telling him he’s proud of the progress Damian’s made both inside and outside of patrol. And Tim is telling him he looks happier than usual.
He is happier.
Yeah. Maybe, they deserve to know.
He agrees to sign up for a free skate competition. But not one in Gotham. And only a small one. He wants to test out the waters first. They find one that’s a month away, and Damian signs up.
When the day comes, Damian is shaking in his skates. He did not account for a “small competition” still having over two hundred people watching. What the fuck was he thinking?
What Jon and Billy don’t tell him is that they snuck Dick into the crowd to watch. Dick has no idea what he’s doing there until he sees Damian skate out to the middle in a red and grey top with black pants and matching skates.
He performs to Beggin’ by Måneskin and starts the performance out with his quad axel.
Everyone loses their shit.
He looks so genuinely excited when he’s skating. He completely ignores the hundreds of people watching, doesn’t count points. He just jams out to the song until he’s breathless, spinning and gliding and jumping and turning to the beat, mostly showing off to Jon and Billy like he always does.
When it’s over, he just hears this massive crowd of people screaming, and then overtop of it, Dick shouts, “THAT’S MY BABY BROTHER!!” and Damian almost falls flat on his face.
Dick uses the Emergency Group Chat to send a video of Damian skating then screams into the phone to Bruce, who immediately drives out to the rink with the rest of the family, and his siblings make Damian do it over once the place is cleared out because they can’t believe they missed it.
Dick: When did you learn to figure skate?! Damian: After we watched the Olympics together. Dick: You’ve been hiding this for SIX YEARS?!?! Damian: …It looked fun.
Of course, Damian is still the son of Bruce Wayne so tabloids eat it up.
“Damian Wayne: Figure Skating Prodigy” “Wayne Prodigy Wins Gold at Regional Figure Skating Competition, Baffling Judges” “Is Damian Wayne fit to represent the US during the next Winter Olympics??”
A swarm of coaches ask Damian if he would like to skate competitively but he declines. He just likes doing it for fun.
Thankfully, the performance was recorded by the competition holders (after a suspicious request from the CEO of Wayne Enterprises last week. Wow, wonder why)
Leave it to Damian to spend his rebellious phase becoming an Olympic-level athlete.
#look at my boy#look at him go#i love him so much#this has been in my drafts for MONTHS oh god#since January I am not kidding#damian wayne#damian wayne headcanon#he's just a little guy#i would die for him#batfam#dc robin#batfamily#dc universe#dc#batman#long post#long long post#bruce wayne#dick grayson#cassandra cain#duke thomas#tim drake#jason todd#jon kent#billy batson#nightwing#black bat#damian al ghul#figure skating#the flash
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How have your interactions with your floormates been? Do any of them seem particularly friendly?
I think this might be your guy to talk to, Leo, just a hunch...
prev ask
#this post has been cooking since the beginning omg. and thus ends the chronicle of my long weekend of shenanigans...#now that magnus and annabeth's designs are out I can rest T-T. this is my lovechild post I have literally been g l u e d to either#my laptop or the books putting all this together. it was the Chases' hair and those damn strawberries from 2 posts ago. my labors of love#anyway not to glaze myself but isnt this post such a cutie patootie-off btwn the 3 of them?? Leo's lil 👀😮.#and the Chase cousins obviously have the most babygirl eyes to ever. that was so important to me#I'm gonna go try to be more normal now that I'm officially a week out from moving back to uni...#but I do have at least another post for this week and obviously the inbox is open#I think someone should get Leo & Magnus to be closer friends -- maybe then we'll get the chance to talk to Maggie & figure out whats up#V²AU#valhalla!valgrace#magnus chase#leo valdez#magnus chase and the gods of asgard#mcga#hotel valhalla#leo valdez responds#answered asks#art#annabeth chase#forgot to tag pookie oh no!!#hopefully context clues and tags help explain this one lol i thought it was cute
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The reason I ended that Crocodad AU where he finds Baby Robin-post where I did was because I actually just don't know what would happen next, where things would go from there. Let's talk about that.
Also apologies in advance, this post got obscenely long. Again. I don't know how this keeps on happening.
(If you wanted the minimum context without having to read the whole OG post, just scroll down to the Plot Section and read until the end from there)
But just to give a minor recap: They're in the tombs of Alubarna, Cobra's dead and the second the guards notice their king has gone missing they're going go searching for him. So there's no time to mess around, Crocodile and Robin need to leave as soon as possible before they're discovered, otherwise they'll risk getting reported to the World Government for assasinating Cobra and boy howdy Croc's not going to be a Shichibukai for long if that happens. The two are there to just get what they want. Crocodile wants Pluton. And the Poneglyph says its in Wano Country
What the hell are either of these two going to do? In this scenario?
'Cause on one hand, there's Robin, who could be scared shitless of Crocodile and unsure what to do next.
If Robin tells him, will Crocodile kill her because he doesn't need her anymore? Because he got what he wanted?
Or might he lash out at her and kill her because the weapon isn't in Alabasta as he had assumed?
But if she refuses to tell him, he'll kill her anyways, won't he?
She can't run away from him anyways, he'd catch her in seconds.
Should she lie and give him a fake location nearby in the hopes of creating an opportunity for her to escape?
But even if she managed to escape, she'd be back on the run from the Government all over again, fighting for her life, all alone.
(Minor note but it's worth pointing out that Robin probably wouldn't know about Wano's takeover, she might not know who Kaidou is, let alone what the Yonkou are, or where Wano even is. Like we know it's a bombshell of information, but Robin wouldn't know where on The Scale of Bad News it'd land, and that could also add to her fear of telling the truth)
Like I think those would be the kinds of thoughts that would run through Robin's mind, and even I can't tell what she'd do.
And on the other hook, we have Mr Murderdile. How the fuck would he even react to whatever Robin would do?
I mean I don't think he'd actually kill Robin if she told him the truth about what the Poneglyph says. I do think he would Fucking Furious and deeply hurt if she'd refuse to tell him, if she'd lie or tried to flee, as these would be acts of betrayal and we know Crocodile would not take that well. Would he kill her for betraying him? Possibly? Since he could see her as a threat to his son's life (the priority), I don't fucking know man. That could very much turn into like a "Doflamingo killing Rocinante" moment for Crocodile in this AU.
But what the fuck would he do if he found out Pluton was in Wano?
Mind you, by this point the country would've been freshly taken over by Kaidou, and it's only been 2-5 years since Crocodile would've had his ass kicked by Whitebeard in the New World. Like that trauma would be Quite Fresh in his mind. I don't think Crocodile would be stupid enough to try to go to Wano. It'd be stupid fucking dangerous, and surely he'd know that. And not just in the "he could get killed by Kaidou" kind of way, but because surely Crocodile would realize Kaidou was sitting on top of Pluton as they spoke. Even if he didn't know about it yet, if Kaidou found out about Pluton being directly beneath his gigantic ass, it would be Fucking Bad. And thus going to the island with the only person on the planet who could reveal the exact location of the weapon would be a stupid ass move. (Of course, without the heir of the Kozuki Clan Pluton can't be released and Momo has just been yeeted into the future, so even if they did go they wouldn't be able to open the borders of Wano, but unless the Alabastan Poneglyph explained that then neither Robin or Crocodile would understand that)
So if Crocodile's only goal in life at this moment had been obtaining an Ancient Weapon so he could nuke the World Government and then go be with his son (since nothing in the world could threaten his child anymore and force Crocodile to keep his distance to keep him safe)... And he found out he was far, far too weak to even obtain that weapon... What would Crocodile do? Knowing he wouldn't be able to do what he wanted, that he wouldn't get to be with his son ever again?
(Mind you. There is a whole discussion to be had about whether or not Crocodile was suicidal during Impel Down/Marineford and if his petty revenge against Whitebeard was a borderline suicide mission. Because unironically I think there's like a 40-50% chance that could be the case. And I'm pointing this out because if Crocodile was canonically suicidal after failing to take over Alabasta, how would this scenario in this AU be different? Aside from the obvious time commitment, and the way Crocodile's traumas would be much more fresh at this point compared to canon)
Like. What can he do anymore? What's there left for him to do?
Fall into absolute despair and give up? Allow the royal guards to find and capture him, and let the WG throw him in jail for assassinating King Cobra for no reason? Or just kill himself on the spot because what would it matter, he'd die eventually anyways? God knows, even if he wanted to keep on opposing the WG, between the Dragodile Divorce (and however the fuck that might've played out) and Crocodile probably not approving of Dragon's methods for revolution (too idealistic, soft, and slow), ditching his Warlord-status and fully joining the Revolutionary Army wouldn't suit Crocodile either. He's a pirate, not some hero of justice. And he's never going to be strong enough to defeat the WG himself, all alone. That's what the Ancient Weapon was for to begin with.
So, what would he do now, when his final option had been crossed out, labeled impossible. Would death be the easy way out, and at least give him the peace of mind knowing his son could never be linked back to him and put into danger because of him?
But what would happen to Robin?
If Crocodile allowed himself to become captured and go to jail, Robin would be doomed too. Between his hatred of the Government and Robin being an innocent child, surely he didn't want the Government to get their hands on her, they'd just put her to death. But what else could he do? Tell her to run? Leave her to fend for herself all over again? Alone? Would he have it in him to tell her that?
Or would Crocodile's anger and spite at the Government be more powerful than his despair? Would he rather flee with Robin for now and figure things out later, when they're not in some ancient tombs with the corpse of a king where they could be found out any second and be in far deeper shit than they're already in?
And I think this is where we circle back to what Robin would do, first. Because even if Robin told Crocodile the truth, there's still multiple ways she could do that, and depending on how Robin went about it, that could influence Crocodile's reaction too, couldn't it?
If the two hadn't become too fond of each other yet, and Robin very calmly told Crocodile Pluton was in Wano, I think he could just become kind of catatonic in shock and horror, falling into despair. Maybe without saying a word he'd just walk out of the tombs straight to the guards without ever looking back. Abandoning Robin and leaving her running for her life again, alone.
But Robin is at this point a 12 year old child***
The sheer intensity of this situation could become too much for her. And if she had become fond of Crocodile, if despite everything she still wanted to stay with him because he had been the only source of safety she had had in three years... what if she just burst into tears, and told Crocodile she was afraid of him and what he might do to her because he might not like what the Poneglyph said? What would Crocodile do then? How would Crocodile react to that? To this child being not just brutally honest, but emotionally vulnerable and showing him that she WANTED to trust him? If Crocodile had been emotionally flipflopping between trying to remain emotionally unavailable to Robin because he didn't trust her, and trying to be caring (partially because he was intentionally trying to manipulate her and partially because he genuinely felt bad for her)... Would this become the moment Crocodile himself realizes he has to decide if he's going to be a cruel pirate who only cares about his son's safety, or be Robin's guardian? Either demand her to just spit it out if she knows what's good for her, or comfort her and tell her he would never hurt her regardless of what the Poneglyph said? And... almost regardless of what Crocodile would choose, could Robin's outburst still like... both soften the blow of the bad news and emotionally ground Crocodile? So that he wouldn't fall into despair?
If so... Guess the two would just have to flee then. Leave their hostage (be it the (unconcious???) pregnant queen or baby Vivi) behind, and just leave Alabasta. There'd be nothing left in that country for them anyways, nothing but people who could catch Crocodile and report him to the World Government for assasinating their King (mainly Shaka who could probably tell their king was murdered by a heavy smoker thanks to his DF and then realize it was Crocodile if he ever gotten within sniffing distance from him), leading to his Shichibukai Status to being stripped from him. Escaping and never coming back would be their priority.
Whatever the fuck would happen next is a bloody mystery though
Like IDK maybe, after getting over whatever emotional turmoil he'd be going through, Crocodile could start building an organization of some kind?? But this time with the intent of wrecking Kaidou's ass and taking over Wano himself????? (Roccoco Works wouldn't nececarily have to be a secret organization either since if he wanted to take over a non-WG Affiliated country from some pirate... He could just do that. The WG shouldn't care. He would have to be extremely careful though to make sure nobody ever found out his sweet little assistant/secretary Miss Sunday was actually Nico Robin. Also if he was the Rev Army's Secret Sugar Daddy he'd have to be extremely careful who he would hire to work for him. Like the hiring process would be extremely selective still, if not more-so than with BW?) Also he could spend a fuck ton of time just working out to get as swole as humanly possible. Because god knows he'll need to if he wanted to actually fight Kaidou and survive with all his limbs still in-tact. Maybe try to get friendly with Moria too knowing Moria has some serious beef with Kaidou and could be down for getting revenge one day. But mind you, this would be A Whole Process which would no doubt take years if not decades.
All while looking after Robin. Because he was all she had and he couldn't possibly abandon her now. He's in too deep.
And this is where my brain finally hits a brick wall with this AU, I can't imagine how shit would go down from here on. Because IDK, this whole thing started out more as a thought experiment (of "how would things be different if they met earlier") and the further you go down the timeline it stops being wild what if-speculation and more just a fanfic lmao
***(Look if I'm not wrong, the year Luffy was born Robin should be going 11 turning 12, right? (And Croc 27 -> 28). But if enough time has passed that Vivi has been born, well, Robin's birthday is a few days after Vivi's, so she could've turned 13 by now. Or hell, this whole shitshow of a scenario could take place on her birthday if you wanted to be really evil) (But if I'm wrong and Robin was 10 -> 11 the year Luffy was born, then she'd be around turning 12 at this point) (This shit is so complicated aaaaa 😭)
One more note because I might as well put them in the same post
So in my mind, if Crocodad Real IN GENERAL then it would make perfect sense to me if Crocodile's reason for wanting his funny little military nation and to obtain Pluton was to nuke Marijoa and just delete the World Government so his baby boy would be safe. Because god knows if the Government found out Dragon had a son (or that he had been involved with the Revs/plotted against them and that he had a son), that baby boy would become a target for the WG. Thus he couldn't even take his child with him and raise him like Bege or Big Mom did with their kids. Like it wasn't even an option. And because that's like my default headcanon already, I'm obviously applying it to this silly Crocodad AU.
But it raises a fun question; what would Crocodile tell baby Robin about his motivations?
Like, I can perfectly imagine Crocodile explaining to Robin that he hates the WG and wants to destroy them, and that not only would Robin be safe with him (not just in the "I won't hurt you or turn you in to the Marines, we're on the same side", or the "I'm stronk and can protect you from danger" way, but also "the WG can't find you if you're under my wing" way), but also if she helped him find an Ancient Weapon, she could help him defeat her greatest enemy for once and for all and become free herself.
And that's not a bad deal, now is it.
But even if Crocodile explained that to Robin when they'd first meet, just to get her to agree to coming with him, surely it would take Robin some time to actually start trusting Crocodile, after spending the past three years on the run. 'Cause in her mind, either the Government Approved Pirate was lying to get her guard down (so it'd be easier to hand her over to the WG), or the Government Approved Pirate was explicitly admitting to being a backstabber and couldn't be trusted. But hey Papadile could maybe win her trust with some time, plenty of books and maybe a few plushies
However.
I'm sure Robin would wonder WHY Crocodile wanted to destroy the World Government. And Crocodile sure as fucking hell would never tell her it was because he had a son, god knows he would not trust her with that information. I'm not sure if Robin would ask about Crocodile's motivations, and even if she did, I'm sure he'd find a way to respond in a truthful way without telling her anything (Like arguably he isn't free from the WG either, he can either play and pretend to be on their side until they decide they have no more use for him, or try to eliminate them first and ensure his own safety. So he could tell Robin that as an excuse) (Kill-or-Be-Killed is not a great life lesson to be teaching Nico Robin Age 12) And you know, not knowing why this Scary Pirate wants a weapon of mass destruction would raise alarm bells in anyone's mind. Robin isn't stupid.
And now we circle right back to the begining of this post. Again. This post is a fucking timeloop, there is no escape. What would Robin do when Crocodile would ask her to read him the Poneglyph. Because there is that option that she could try to ask him Crocodile why he wanted to destroy the WG, then and there. Possibly defiantly, possibly calmly, possibly with tears running down her little face because she's scared out of her mind and wants to have faith in her guardian, but is unsure because the situation she's found herself in is a train wreck and Croc's on thin ice. And would she start with the question right away, or would she first tell the truth and then, after seeing Crocodile's reaction, ask him about it? And would Crocodile tell her? The TL:DR; of it? That he had a son whom the WG would want dead if they ever found out about it, a son he wanted to protect? That that's what this all was about?
And how would Robin feel about such a revelation?
Because on one hand, it could be calming for her, to understand that Crocodile wasn't out for world domination like a cartoon villian or anything, that his motivations were actually understandable. He just wanted to protect his family. But on the other hand... if Robin had been (conciously or subconciously) hoping to find a father figure in Crocodile... would finding out that Crocodile had his own son, his own family somewhere out there... Would that knowledge break Robin? Because in her mind, even if she hadn't wished for it conciously, Crocodile could never become a father for her? Because if/when Crocodile would get what he wanted, he'd just go be with his son?
Keep in mind. Robin's core fears and trauma come from not just betrayal, but also abandonment. A fear of being alone. Even if it was for Robin's own sake, her mother left her behind. She wasn't able to find friends or community in Ohara at all, even with the people of the library she felt left out because they wouldn't allow her to participate in the Poneglyph research (understandable on their part) And even when Robin's uncle and his family "adopted" her, she was treated as an other in the family. An unwanted burden, a servant. Not a real member of the family.
Finding out Crocodile had a family he wanted to return to could in her mind mean she was going to become abandoned again, left behind to fend for herself. Even if the WG wasn't out to get her, that would still be absolutely soul crushing for a child. And even if Crocodile did decide to adopt Robin, would she not be afraid of being treated as an other in that family too, because she wasn't his daughter? That he'd never love her the way he'd love his own son?
How would the truth behind Crocodile's motivations actually make Robin feel?
And one final gut punch before I go:
Would Crocodile struggle with some kind of guilt and shame over looking after Robin when he had his son somewhere out there? Would he be beating himself up inside because he couldn't stop himself for caring so damn much about this poor kid, but didn't want to treat Robin like some kind of a replacement for his own child? And would those feelings get even worse after finding out he couldn't even get Pluton because the bloody thing was hiding under Kaidou's ass? Would Crocodile feel horrible about how he had to abandon his son seemingly forever and then found himself looking after some other child instead?
Also. If the Dragodile Divorce was bad, especially in the "Dragon wasn't particularly accepting" kinda way, and if Crocodile had this deep fear inside of him about whether or not his son would ever accept him as his other dad and/or be upset about not having a mom (a fear that could get worse over time since he wouldn't have been with his baby from the begining, that he'd have to show up in his child's life later, praying for acceptance and forgiveness for having to leave him behind)... Would Robin potentially expressing that she saw Crocodile as a father-figure kind of break Crocodile (in a good way)? Not just because of the gender affirmation (for the recently transitioned guy mind you), but also because it'd mean that there was at least one person in the world who looked at him and thought they wanted him as their father? And could that happiness then like ADD ON to whatever guilt Crocodile could also be feeling?
These two are such broken people. I can not help but to wonder if they'd be able to navigate through their complicated emotions and find the healing and comfort they both so desperately need.
Anyway yeah that's the post, hope you enjoyed The Thoughts
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Crocodad#Not sure I can say ''back due to popular demand'' but close enough I guess#I am just Haunted by Thoughts#This really got obscenely fucking long jesus christ#Feels wrong to tag this with Crocodad but this is an AU based on it and it's like relevant so??? It's there for blacklisting if nothing els#Good god my Activity Feed has Not Been The Same since I posted that fanart on my main though oh my god#I'm glad y'all enjoy this AU concept as much as I do. We can suffer emotionally together lmao
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Oh gosh okay so I went back to marinating more on long haired Jihoon, but specifically long haired Jihoon getting pegged has me chewing on the bars of my enclosure to get out
Like just think of how pretty he'd look when he's on all fours and your fucking into him!! His chest blushed and heaving from how needy he is for you and the way your touch just feels so good and electric running along your skin! Your fingers then threading through his hair to pull his head up to see his thoroughly fucked out and flushed face in the mirror you placed in front of the bed. His eyes rolling back into his skull as cute little whimpers and cries slip from his lips when you brush your lips along his shoulder and licking up his neck before nibbling on his earlobe. Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh and even the louder moans he'd make if you gripped his cheeks in your hands and pounded him into the mattress, his back arching so nicely that you can't help but run a hand up his spine and wrap his long hair around your fist while he trembled underneath you whimpering about how he's gonna cum. Your eyes dropping down to watch his slick hole swallowing your strap on with ease from being played with for so long before getting bent over. Jihoon's whines getting louder from hand slipping between his thighs to jerk off his leaky cock until he's releasing spurts onto the sheets under him. Tears springing from his eyes as you fuck him at a harder and faster pace until he was left gasping for air, his thighs shaking from keeping his ass up when your strap slips out of his trembling hole and a relieved smile on his face as you cooed about how good he was for you, and how he looks so pretty all fucked out like this between kisses along his spine
#seventeen smut#woozi smut#jihoon smut#i'm sorry i'm back in my geto jihoon thoughts of him with some long hair. like long ass hair like him and this started cuz#i saw a post on ig from the alley saying that they'll have more jjk merch coming soon and i really wanna get the keychains#especially since my slutty little toji is included too like oh my god#but yeah i think i might be good enough to try writing again but bit by bit#mostly cuz the ways i've been coping with stress and anxiety hasn't been as effective but writing this has helped me calm down a bit#and get me focused on something else cuz i've had too many peer reviews that i think i should probably get assessed by a doctor soon#but yee ya girl sammy is making baby steps of a return rn since writing this didn't feel draining at all and it made me so happy!!!#this shit has me feeling like austin powers when he got his mojo back lmaooooo#m:jihoon
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Recent images I suppose ~
#First one is THE LONG series of GEESE that fly by!!! my aforementioned friends... Or I think I referenced them in tags of some post#days ago. and how I love watching them. See how many there are? And multiple of these will go by. It's like hundreds of them.#Then just the sky because I love the sky. My hair looking ridiculous as it always does when I brush it out of the four big braids I always#keep it in to keep it out of the way lol. I just find it silly how small it can be all braided up and then as soon as it is Released and#combed then it poofs into some sort of swamp dwelling wizard style.#Then... a daily word count... have been so busy the past week that I sadly haven't written much but I'm WORKING on it. Still on the blasted#'odd jobs' tasks sections which were SUPPOSED to be very quick and short. but.. alas.. Though I am on basically the last one. You go work#for one of the enchanting specialists in the city (very important in society since a majority of people cannot do that type of magic) and#basically he just works so much he has no time for a social life so he hires random people to sit with him in the afternoons doing menial#tasks. You show up thinking you'll help with some Important Job or something but hes just like 'no... peel this apple for me.. :)' lol#Edit note: arrgh just had to fish a slippery avocado pit out of a narrow garbage disposal drain with a chopstick. felt like some#sort of taskmaster challenge or something.. gods... I know some people just reach into them. I guess maybe#my hand would fit?? but... erm... scary. what about Sharp Things in there or something.. also Sludge of some sort perhaps.#ANWYAY.. interruption... I got up to go to the kitchen in the middle of typing my tags... lol..#Next image is SLEEPING boye.. And then PIGEONS!!!!!!!!!! my beloveds...#Oh then the giant evil hole in my bathroom ceiling which is STILL not fixed and the repair people still have to come back again.. BUT they#did have this terrible industrial dehumidifier thing they put in the bathroom and just left here for like 5 days and it was like a noisy#hairdryer going at all times and raised the heat in the bathroom from 65F to 76F in like two hours so.. I'm glad at least at their#last arrival they've finally taken it away.... the Noise Beast... silence in my house at last...#though I am still plagued by Mysterious Hole.. the plastic wrap rustles sometimes when I'm in there.... go away...#Ah. Then a delightful little lemon poppyseed muffin someone didn't want and then gave to me. Which was interesting since I haven't#had one in soooo long even though its like a very Classic Flavor.. I do quite like them though now that I've had one again. :0c#Lastly.. mushrooms. I think it's the mushroom season here. Everywhere you go outside there's some new manner of fungus#having popped up from nowhere. I like the variety of all their little shapes. These in particular have an interesting wispy curled layers#sort of look to them. Almost like a shaggy hairstyle that's curled up at the ends or something. They seem neat to draw perhaps.#Okay.. that is all.. I still have literally like 2 costumes and 12 outfits and I think 1 sculpture? to post.. but I am so busy this is#what I can manage for now I suppose lol... quick pictures that don't really take any sorting or cropping or editing lol#photo diary
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Cette épée avait longtemps fait l’ambition de Porthos. Porthos aurait donné dix années de sa vie pour posséder cette épée.
-CHAPITRE VII. L’INTÉRIEUR DES MOUSQUETAIRES
The Three Musketeers, Alexandre Dumas (trans. Pevear)
Athos is haunted as fuck (which is my favorite type of character), and this whole thing with Porthos and this sword is going to rattle inside of my brain for a minimum of a week. the phrasing of it. oughhh. I love this book.
society6 | twitter (cohost) | ko-fi | deviantart
#the three musketeers#les trois mousquetaires#athos#porthos#god GOD what a fucking character statement#anyway athos can have some grey/white hair as a treat for me because we're close in age and my hair is starting to go white lmao#salt and pepper baby lets go#its been a minute since ive done a color illustration like this and oh boy have i missed it#this was. a several days long project. i did it on a huge canvas. i halved the size (i always do) for posting so#unfortunately. the smaller details on the sword and lace can't be zoomed in on but i did have a lot of fun with it#(i did include some of the sword detailing in the close up crop.#we're ignoring period accuracy for looks. but also we're always ignoring period accuracy for looks#and because trying to look up period accurate fashion has been. difficult. stop showing me versaille court fashion google)
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youtube
Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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i finally caught up on story quests...
i saw so many spoilers and thought i knew what was gonna happen, but NONE OF YALL MENTIONED THE PLOT TWIST WAS THAT AL FONTAINIANS ARE OCEANIDS WTF
oh my god when i say my pre-modern day lore obsessed brain started whirring like a broken ceiling fan at the implications
also THE BIG FUCKING SHIP OH MY GOD THE BIG FUCKING SHIP WAS SO COOL I LOVE YOU HOYO I LOVE YOU HOYO I LOVE YOU HOYO
#spoilers#i have forgiven hoyo for everything because of BIG FUCKING SHIP#also it's really funny that wrio has 2 ships he's really into (the actual ship and the two inventors who worked on it)#also oh my god the story#the dialogue writing is still bad but oh my god i was so into the story i kept playing without using autoplay so i could read#i havent been this into a major quest since zhongli's quest where you go into the spooky domain of the dead salt god#also i have so many thoughts about furina posts i read before now and i know the most obsessed of yall dont get her at all smh#also i read a really good fic this morning and now i have so many neuvifuri parallel and identity thoughts now#also: people who insist the tag should be foca//llette are fake furina fans bc she spent so long pretending to be her and now shes free#and yall are out here STILL insisting she should use that name for her ships smh#focalors the oceanid was not the same person as focalors the god#focalors the oceanid turned god (aka focalors 1) split herself into a god and a human#the god decided to take on the name focalors as well (aka focalors 2) and the human became furina#furina had to pretend to be focalors 1 NOT focalors 2 bc nobody even knew focalors 2 existed#has inuyasha identity philosophy taught yall nothing
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i've grown to fucking hate therapists. sometimes.
i recall it's supposed to be 50/50. the therapist has the solutions. you put them into practice.
in most cases for me it's been 85/15.
i sit there and air out my dirty laundry. i bare my soul to you. i tell you every horrible thought that bullies its way into my brain. and you give me that blank fucking look. i muse. i come up with ideas. i make the solution myself. i have no idea if it'll work. i have no idea if it's healthy. i look to you. and you just fucking stare. sometimes. maybe. you'll say "yeah, you should do that. tell me how it works out."
tell me how it works out.
im tired of fumbling in the dark. im tired of coming up with the bad solutions to my own myriad problems. im tired of coming to you when they don't work. you don't offer guidance. you don't offer advice. all you say is "too bad."
"you should look up cbt." "you should download meetup." "you should look up grounding." "you should look up this self-help book."
shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP
HALF OF THESE THESE AREN'T EVEN SOLUTIONS THESE ARE PRODUCTS. I CAME HERE FOR HELP. I CAME HERE FOR YOU TO TELL ME WHAT CBT IS, NOT FOR ME TO LOOK UP THE FUCKING WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME.
just once fucking ONCE i want someone to say... something. i don't even know what i need to hear. i need to hear something real. i need to hear something helpful. im tired of looking up the solutions to my own problems and haphazardly trying them like a kid jumping on slippery stones. is that how therapy is supposed to work? are they supposed to stare at you like that? are they meant to be a pair of eyes and ears for you to babble to?
i thought they were supposed to help you.
i thought you were supposed to help me.
there's a difference between teaching and telling someone to teach themselves. i know this. one is for strangers. but therapists aren't supposed to be strangers.
i want to be taught. i need to be taught.
i need to be talked to.
i need a shoulder to cry on.
i need a hug.
god, when was the last time i was touched?
when was the last time i hugged someone?
i need... fuck, i need sleep.
#vent post#it feels like my soul is slowly being eaten alive but i dont know by what#i want to feel something#but i want to feel it with someone#but whenever i try to cry with friends or family or even with a therapist#it's so hard#why cant i cry#god how long has it been since i properly cried#not shed a stoic tear#but a full meltdown#i. i think it's been years#oh god
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AITA for banning my husband and father in law from the delivery room due to their intensely stressful/creepy behavior during my pregnancy?
There’s a famous Reddit post from 2020 where a pregnant woman wrote that her husband and father-in-law were a little too comfortable with their certainty that she was absolutely going to die in childbirth just like her husband’s late mother. It was to the point where her FIL was insisting that she go ahead and put all her clothes into storage, because she was obviously going to die in the hospital and it would save them the grief of packing up her things afterwards. Like. It was WILD.
When I tell my husband [that she feels suspicious of her FIL], he calls me paranoid, but I feel like my FIL WANTS me to die; his whole life identity for the past 35 years has been “amazing single dad” (never dated or had close friends or even hobbies really), and it seems like he’s looking forward to being able to guide my husband through what he went through. At this point, I’d honestly be happy to never see my FIL again, and I certainly don’t want him in the delivery room, especially since he told me he was “putting [his] foot down” about me not being “allowed” to have an epidural…. My husband, in addition to backing his dad on everything, acts like my due date is my death date, and has completely pulled away from me.
The commenters (and me, honestly) were convinced that the husband and FIL were either going to kill her outright to fulfill this expectation, or just make decisions about her care that might conveniently let her die.
And then she never posted again.
Over the last four years, people have frequently mentioned that post, always leading to a thread of people saying, “Oh god, I still worry about that woman.” I did too. It became one of those famous unresolved posts that people always wondered about.
Until yesterday, when someone on r/BestOfRedditorUpdates dug up a 2022 update she had posted on a different account:
TLDR; I had a beautiful and healthy baby girl, and I divorced my ex-husband. I lived, obviously.
She writes that she put her foot down about having her own mother in the delivery room rather than her FIL (!), and she WOULD be getting an epidural. Her husband lost his shit. And in his outburst, he let slip--
I admittedly lost my temper, and told him that I wasn’t going to die- it wasn’t my fault his father’s trauma wormed it’s way into his head, and that he needed to fix it without taking it out on me. He yelled at me that he didn’t need therapy. That caught me a little off guard; I asked him why he went to his therapist and was given advice about my death if he felt he didn’t need it. His expression gave it away, and he caved not long after. It turns out there was no therapist. It was just his dad. During the times he was supposed to be at therapy, he was with his dad. I’m still fuming.
And that was when she got the fuck out.
I’ll wrap this up- I’ve got an adorable little toddler tugging at my leg atm. I’m alive, I’m happy, and I’ve got my baby in my arms. Life is good.
I truly never thought we'd see a resolution to this, and I feel like there's probably a good number of people who remember it, so I thought you might want to know.
ETA: Brilliantly, I put the link in at the top; here it is again for convenience.
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hii, I’m not sure if you take request still but if so is there a possible way you can do a drew x singer!reader one shot take on how Sabrina “arrests” her fans before performing Juno for being too hot but the reader does it to Drew during her shows please 🫶🏼
arrested for being too hot — DREW STARKEY
authors note THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS!! my request box is still open so feel free to send me any ideas regarding singer!reader or regular fic ideas you’d like me to write. this was so much writing too. thank for all the love on my last fic lovies <3
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summary "arresting" drew, your boyfriend, during your show before performing your song from your new album.
warning(s) none!
You are on tour for your new album in-front of thousands of fans almost every night. You worked hard on this album and it turned out wonderfully. If it weren’t for the amazing fans of yours, you don’t know where you’d be in your career— they are the reason you are doing this.
Half way into the show— going amazing. The crowd tonight isn't disappointing you. Everything you've hoped for on this tour. You've performed eighteen songs and about to go onto your nineteenth. Played musical spin the bottle not long ago which was really fun.
Before Juno, you begin with a small "skit" where you call someone out in the crowd, arresting them for being too hot. This became a thing after your first show of the tour and doing it ever since. Plus, fans absolutely love it. Interacting with your fans has always been something you did and create those bonds.
Drew, your boyfriend, is attending the show with Madelyn Cline, a mutual friend and cast-mate of Drew's. You told him earlier today you wanted to arrest him in the middle of the show to get the audience excited and it would be fun.
Drew was all for it, and he didn't want you to tell him what you were going to say—he prefers surprises.
Your pink, glittering, dazzling clothing was sparkling in the lights. You pressed your free hand to your brow as though you were looking around for a call. With security, you could see Drew and Madelyn making their way to the front.
You begin by adjusting your earpiece while moving around the stage in your long skirt. "You guys know that moment when you are in a room filled with such beautiful looking people that you start to feel overwhelmed?" When fans applaud, you smile.
"Oh, girls, I think I just seen my future husband in the front row! Oh my god, girls, come here, come here," you say anxiously into the microphone, beckoning them over and waving your free hand.
You turn to face Drew as the girls approach you, asking, "Do you see that gorgeous looking man over in the front row with his arms crossed in the tan shirt?" You speak into the microphone aloud, pointing to Drew in the crowd.
Your girls joyfully waved at Drew while placing their hands on your shoulder. As Drew blushes on the big screen, the crowd reflexively turns up the volume in the arena.
"What's your name handsome?" With your head cocked slightly to the right toward your shoulder, you inquire in jest.
"Drew!" You can hear him when he places his hands on the side of his lips. He gives you a childlike smile and a flushed face.
You say, "I'm sorry I couldn't get that?" as though you couldn't hear him. Leaning forward more, you place your free hand behind your ear.
He shakes his head and utters "Drew!" a little louder.
"Oh my Drew, I must say that you must be a magnet because you drew me in" brings a smile to your face. Your tone indicated that you were trying quite hard not to laugh, yet you kept your calm brilliantly.
Fans had their phones out, capturing the entire interaction. Nobody would have expected Drew to be the person arrested at your gigs since the tour began.
"Drew, you are under arrest for being too hot," you say aloud, smiling and pointing at him— fanning yourself, moving your hips side to side as the sound of sirens going off with blue and red lights behind.
You put your left elbow against your girls shoulder, "guys do you ever just see someone so good looking that you just don't know what to do and all your clothes fall off in that moment" your long skirt slips off smoothy.
"Like your brain just like malfunctions and like I just wanna handcuffed to you now like," one of your girls puts the pink fluffy handcuffs into your hand, you kneel down, "do you know what I mean? Will you take these from me?"
Drew is overwhelmed in this very moment— it's very obvious how much you are affecting him. Drew gives you a gimme me gesture with his fingers, ready to catch the hand cuffs.
He takes them in his hands, looks down, and feels the smooth texture of the fuzzy. He tilts his head to the side before slowly glancing up at you with a smirk—keep in mind that he's still on the big screen.
"We're gonna sing this one to you, Drew."
Juno's song intro starts playing. You wave goodbye to Drew and Madelyn as you return to the center of the stage. You could hear the two begin speaking to fans in the distance.
Drew and Madelyn met you in the dressing room following the show. After giving Madelyn a hug and thanking her for attending the event, you moved to approach Drew and put your arms around his neck while grinning.
"That was insane," Madelyn exclaimed, pulling you into a hug. "What about the full call-out and the handcuffs? Iconic! "You're the talk of the night; everyone is crazy about it."
You giggled as your face heated up. "It seemed right." "You should have seen his face!"
She laughs, "I got the whole thing on video, I'll send it to you later."
"I'm going to give you two some alone time, but you did such an amazing job tonight and looked so hot doing it," Madelyn adds, taking your hands in her and wiggling her brows.
"Thank you, babe. I love you always," you say, hugging her before she leaves you and Drew alone.
When you close the door, Drew comes behind you, placing his arms around your waist and kissing you on the cheek, making you laugh with the tenderness of his lips.
"I'm so proud of you baby, you did such an amazing job on stage and looked unbelievable in your outfits made me feel like the luckiest guy in the entire world." He expresses emotionally, which uplifts you.
"Coming from you, it warms my heart baby. Forever grateful to have you in my life," you smile softly, leaning against his chest, feeling that sense of warmth you always feel whenever you are with him.
"And I'm forever grateful for you" he quietly responds, kissing the top of your head.
"So what are we gonna do with those pink fuzzy handcuffs?"
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It is my new life purpose to add the most questionable song choices to the Jackie section of my oni playlist. Hey at least one of them is a rabbit universe Jackie song so I have sort of an excuse, but spoilers it's not keep your head up so uhhhhh lol
#rat rambles#oni posting#baby days is the rabbit universe one to be clear#oh and the other two are indeed abt canon jackie but in my typical 5d chess sorta way where it's from an incredibly biased pov#smth smth jackie constantly self sabotaging and being oh so shocked when it causes her mental health to spiral and trying to justify it to#herself while also trying to burry it under even more work and isolation that just makes everything even worse#also shes divorced and sad abt it even though shes the one who has been pushing olivia away even pre divorce#and she has absolutely no plans on stopping she is both holding onto hopes of olivia turning around while also actively pushing her away#also kinda unrelated but I keep thinking back to scrapped jackie and olivia#and how fascinating it is that good ol jodi was honestly kind of shitty#well ok olivia is also shitty in many ways but the original divorce™ scene was soooo much worse of a look than the current one#long story short the two started a business immediately after jodi graduated that jackie especially was super excited abt#jackie was also anxious abt it though since she was struggling to get her phd and felt she had to rely on jodi to be taken seriously#but they quickly ran into money issues which eventually lead to jodi leaving after she was given an offer to join a large project#which youd think its like ah I see a conflict between friendship and dreams#which isnt wrong per say but oh my god did jodi fuck up her wording so bad like holy shit#she was all like I think this project would be a better use of my phd than continuing to do this#which Im not saying that feeling that way is bad per say but when your like best friend who you know has issues with personal worth and has#been putting a lot of effort and presumably money into this business that you suggested founding its maybe not the best idea to say#straight to her face that you think this is a waste of your time and abilities even if you probably think youre putting it nicely#thats whats so fascinating to me abt old jackie is that to me shes borderline genuinely sympathetic#which is why I love the idea of her having similar character traits still but in a less justified environment#like I am still in shock that so many of my jackie headcanons actually held water like even my ppl didn't take jackie's ideas seriously#and that being a bonding factor for olivia and jackie was smth that actually existed in the original concepts for the two#again Im glad they were scrapped for a multitude of reasons but its so vindicating that I was actually onto smth#Ive talked abt how I think its good they got scrapped because of the importance of oni's narrative being patchy and vague#but also I am so glad they scrapped pretty much all of jackie's actively sympathetic elements even if I still like sympathising with her#I know I complain abt us not seeing enough of jackie's perspective of things outside of her immediate research but thats mostly on the#grounds that it makes olivia and jackie's old friendship feel too trapped in the implied realm#I want jackie to feel like theres more to her life but I dont want said things to feel like a part of the plot if that makes sense
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