#oh meat sticks
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I like slim jims *slowly goes cross eye*
never had a slim jim before but i trust you
#ask kandidandi#the-cloudy-blog#omnom#ok hold on#googles slim jim#oh meat sticks#i thought slim jims were like- chocolate for the longest time#why are they called that hahasghs
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pre-marination doobles. dont ask me questions
#pikmin 4#captain olimar#captain shepherd#moss (pikmin)#oatchi#I Dont Know what player character Im drawing lmao. probably not pom. maybe pom?#I just think itd be funny to have that guy in the rescue corps who literally nobody knows anything about. oh that? yeah the rookie#just picked em up last training session. they do anything we like em#but due to not having an actual head drawn inside it Ive been drawing their helmet slightly too small fskjdfhjd#but I think I should lean into it. our new guy's a little bit fucked up but we love them. no you cant have them#also akira slide for fun. olimar deserves it#Im sorry that u dont have time power that turns u into an absolute dandori beast old man. u can have this. I give u this#okay. now I go marinate meat. and then sleep#have a good night lads. dog can have a stick if they want to
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FFVII (1997) -> FFVII Rebirth (2024)
Promotional Art update: Yuffie / Cait Sith & Moogle
#FFVII Rebirth#FFVII#ffgraphics#FF7#Cait Sith#Yuffie Kisaragi#ff7 rebirth#it's nice that they dump this when ffxiv is on maintenance and we otherwise twiddling our thumb#imo why yuffie still stick thin like her '97 cg model lmao#she can stand more meat on her all VII girls should#oh well for that slightly cartoonish visual direction maybe#VII weeks to go!
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It always seems a bit unbalanced on The Great Food Truck Race when there will be multiple teams who are cooking a wide variety of complex dishes with 10 different components and a bunch of prep work, and then there's that one team who like... exclusively serves plain crepes with some premade nutella on them, or plain waffles with just some whipped cream and cut up strawberries lol...
#AND then they'll be the winning team or whatever and its like... wow... imagine that... I wonder how its possible that they can get#more dishes out faster than the other teams... hrrmm.... lol#Not that they aren't still doing work like. obviously it's still hard and there's still a sales component and other stuff to be done#but It's just kind of unbalanced seeming when one group is serving like grilled shrimp sandwich with 3 homemade sauces and a#slaw and two sides and the other people are like... slicing fruit and drizzling a bottle of hersheys chocolate syrup on top of some thing#they just threw in a waffle maker for a few minutes#You see the footage of the teams cooking and everyone is like prepping a ton of different things and meat and vegetables and they have#boiling pots and pans and fryers going and tossing stuff in bowls and compiling these multi component dishes#and then That One Team is always just casually slicing bananas or doing some whipped cream in a bowl gbjhbhj#They usually dont even make their own caramel or chocolate sauces or anything. Nutella out of a jar babey!#So all you're really Making is like... whipped cream. and some sort of batter (waffle. crepe. etc)#If I got placed in a competition like that and I found out one of my opponents just sold waffles or pancake sticks or etc#like that I would just be like... okay.. I'm out then. bye. OR I would pivot and be like.. right I shall remove all complexity from my menu#whatsoever and just start selling plain balls of fried dough with powdered sugar or plain fries with nothing on them or something lol#update: OH my god.. one of these teams on a newer season is selling a 'bonus add on' where you can add#cinnamon sugar and caramel syrup (possibly not even home made by them???? just from a bottle) for $5 extra on your order#If I bought a $12 waffle from a food truck and they were like 'hey do you want to upgrade? for only $5 we'll drizzle a teaspoon#of caramel and sprinkle a little sugar and cinnamon on there!' I feel like I would cancel my order and walk away.#that is a $1 add on at MOST.. for a freaking DRIZZLE of caramel sauce LOL#and of course this team is in the top 3... squirrel.... come ON...#Which I know all these shows are fake and bad and whatever. I dont watch them seriously. I think I liked the first few seasons#but then anything past like season 4 (or whenever they started having established people who already ran food trucks on there#instead of taking a bunch of peope who had never run a food truck before and giving them one - which is a much more equal footing#premise to me) I have just been increasingly annoyed at and I really just have the show on for background noise#whilst doing chores or something and am not genuinely paying that much attention but... my god.. At least try to pretend its fair lol#WHICH I KNOWW... you can say 'well the other teams could do similar if they wanted.' or blah blah. tehcnically it's THEIR choice to#make stuff from scratch and not sell a bunch of packaged frozen chicken wings dropped into a fryer over a shitty 6min waffle or etc.#but... I will never respect a $5 for 1tbsp of caramel sauce type of situation.. even if they win.. you will always be losers in my heart#So many teams with real cooking skill & good concepts go home to the 'slap nutella on fried dough' people... how...
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Have come to the conclusion that I don't want just matched freak. I want freak that is surpassed. Freak that is obliterated. Freak that is blown out of the fucking water
#Brought to you by me reading a fic about a creepy obsessed stalker getting the tables turned on them#When you “yes and” so hard it short circuits the guy that broke into your house#When u look into his damaged soul and stick your hand in the meat grinder and actually do come out unscathed bc you're built different#Oh? You've got mommy problems and also everyone problems and no one loves you?#It's okay I will make them worse
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I think the funniest thing about lent is the vague memory I had in elementary school in the lunch line it was cheeseburger Friday and I was like ummm is there anything else it’s Friday and like the lunch lady was like uhhhh and three kids behind me were like yeah same we can’t eat that so they had to go heat up a bunch of bean burritos
#which is like plenty of Catholics went to my school lol you’d think they’d prepare something like fish sticks or whatever#I remember bc I was like oh shit no meat day!!!! like I thought they just weren’t gonna feed me lol
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help girl i got too silly <\3 (overthought every interaction ever)
#im okay i think#(lying)#hoooh boy#ill be alr but girl (/gnc) what the fuck is this#nahh i could’ve had a NORMAL FUNCTIONING brain but yknow what i got instead ?#a sentient lump of meat. that likes to imagine scenarios that will *never* happen and form ideas of what people think of it#even if like. yknow. ITS IRRATIONAL AS FUCK AND LIKELY WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING#see. if i was a house cat i wouldnt have to worry bout this shit . just be kitty. lick paw. take nap. eat. in whatever order i desire.#oh and be silly and cute.#‘’embarrassing myself in front of a customer? overthinking what a coworker said?’’#‘’eeerm. oh? you wanted to carry on about your day?’’#‘’too bad. here’s the underlying feeling of dread for the next few hours. have fun!’’#I HATE BEING SENTIENT RAHHH RAHHH#I COULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE GUY DOING LITTLE THINGS. WHAT IS THIS!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!#i know i should be a big guy and act like it. but sometimes you gotta like. be a little insane.#okay anyways anxiety rant over. if for some reason you read my rant while i was Probably loosing my mind um.#1. i am sooo sorry you had to witness my illposting#2. i give you a little smooch (/p) for sticking with me . I bite you . (/pos)#kazzy complains#me when im cringe on main
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i have a crush on this dude at work and i never say anything to him
#i didn't notice him until one day i caught him STARING right at me and i saw his eyes move like he was gathering it all in like had his head#turned everything#i like his teeth but i saw them for the first time today#i usually just see his eyes/nose bc mask to cover facial hair#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ oh well what can u do#OH i have talked to him before he commented on my drawings on some frozen meat and told me he does shit like that#but i never see it where is it *****#his name is the **** ** ** ***#i think he's pretty he should be a model#he has one of those faces that stick w u#that could just be the infatuation talking tho
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okay cleaver in dst would be interesting too i think personally. Something something can couriers survive HELL. cleaver voice ummm i dont think this is the mojave.
#bee's buzzing#benny fnv is there too they dragged him along for the adventure#benny is rapidly losing sanity and cleaver is skipping along and having a great time#they are foraging for berries in the woods#the worst thing for cleaver would be. no med-x. SAD oh well theres other couriers#theyre crumpled on the ground going through the horrors when they run out of their stash but like#otherwise? theyre so fine w/ this#they stare at wx with their autism eyes and go “technically im part robot. can i stick my hands in your wires”#what else. umm. cleaver would like several of th guys i think#theyre fascinated with wilsons pathetic guy swag#theyre like a weird aunt to all of the kids#i think theyd get along with just about everyone actually#debatably rocky start with maxwell if they know he got the others stuck here but like. shrugs. what can you do#they would also like wigfrid specifically i think. they're particularly fond of any performers tbh.#cleaver voice hi you seem cool. dont mind me staring with my autism eyes#THEY ALSO both have diets that primarily consist of meat. though#in cleavers case. they mostly eat. dubiously safe to eat raw meat off the ground like some kind of animal
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new food i can make new food i can make
#finding New Foods is always so hard so finding good ones like this is COOL#literally this is such a good food i can make so easy and can be made a bunch of different ways depending how i feel or what i want#i can make little snack wraps at home and they're great#like all i really need is tortillas and that's it#then I can just scavenge for whatever fillings i have like lettuce and meat and cheese and condiments and stuff#and i have at least like. three different combos i know i like#i just assemble a salad and then stick it in the tortilla and its so easy#and i can make it easier on myself making the salad too by just. using scissors#like the other day owen was fronting and did that and the entire rest of the system Collectively Realised that oh yeah you can do that#so using scissors to cut up the lettuce or like. deli meat or cheese slices. makes it a lot easier#good food for less function for us at least#just Throw Shit In A Bowl and then wrap it up in a tortilla 👍
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Nails are short but the picking at my fingers is intense once again. Can't wait to NOT be doing this again
#it started bc of the stress~~~~~#once again i have to reflect and be like omfg...cant believe i said in my 2nd yr of college i didnt feel stress#like yes...you do...but you were raised by an irish catholic...you stood no chance#nature and nurture turned me into the strongest weak bitch you may ever meat#meet#meat#meet meat#mmmm i want to make steak soon#ohh oh oh i want to make chicken cutlets. like a fried chicken patty#im v excited for that. and mozzarella sticks. cant friggen wait#within the next few weeks twe hee#rambling
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(I need a cigarette voice) I need a monster energy
#fawwkkk it’s almsor 7am I’m gonna hate myself so bad tomorrow. auhg#m. MONSETERT#I Need Food Bro im fucking starving#I NEED TO STOP EATING ONE LARGE MEAL A DAY IT IS NOT HEALHY. GENUINELY I NEED TO STOP#I HATE THIS but AUH. old habits die hard I suppose >:[#fuck my stupid baka life I was just about to say oh I’ll maybe go grocery shopping tomorrow. I HAVE 11$ IN MY BANK ACCOUNT.#MY ASS IS NOT GETTING SHIT!!!! FFUCUCJKKKKKK can someone send me like. 20 bucks so I can go to Walgreens and buy some monster#and soem. cheese and meat sticks. fuck oh my god I’d kill a familt of 4 for a cheese and meat stick and a monster rn fuckkkkkkkkkkkk.#hollowspeak
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@badjokesbyjeff
@lyingnudieonthefloor
i found your post on pinterest!
#i don't get the joke#oh wait#i i literally got it the second i wrote that tag#he has a big weenie#and he hung up on his friend#a big peener#a big willie#a large penis if you will#a massive cock if it pleases you#a thick meat stick#what was i doing#oh yeah#pinterest#gimmick blog#yourpostisonpinterest
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Blind!Reader who accidentally bumped hard into Mafia!Konig, hard enough for to Konig thought it's some punk who wants to pick a fight with him but only to find a cute girlie with a walking stick that sprawled on the floor because of the wall of meat he is (feel free to use the "you hurt your ankle!?" excuse for him to take Blind!Reader for his own)
Konig was ready to kill when he felt someone bump into him. A fucker should be blind not to notice this wall of muscles and bottled anger coming his way - and Konig sure as hell would make them blind if they are dumb enough not to look around when they are walking. His hand goes to grasp his gun - an instinct, in case the fucker wasn't just dumb, but an enemy...and then he hears a whimper. Clacking of a stick falling to the ground. Cute whimpers. Female whimpers. The "oh my god, sir, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to bump into you, but they changed the street layout since winter and-" God, you were fucking adorable. Precious. Pretty. Cute. Whimpering like a kitten when he helped you stand up, letting you clutch on his hands as a guiding line. Supported you by your waist while handing you the walking stick - and not letting go of your body even as you were trying to stand up without being wobbly. He knows you're probably fine, you didn't fall that badly, but he grasps for straws in trying to keep you by his side. Apologizes, even, his nervous and anxious self returning for a second as he understands that the situation isn't about possible murder. It's about possibly finding a cute girlfriend. Now, he obviously can't leave you to fend for yourself. Konig doesn't care that you survived on your own and is perfectly fine without him - he also doesn't care that you really hate having him dote over you like you're some helpless creature. He needs you by his side, preferably under him, and the fact you survived for so long on your own actually doesn't say anything - he needs to protect you, even if it means being as overbearing as possible. Even if it means simply picking you up like a lost cat and getting you over his shoulder, squeezing your ass one time before packing you into a dark vehicle. You can calm down by trying to memorize his face through your hands, and he can memorize himself with the curves of your sweet body. God, he is going to enjoy making you his...even if it means locking you up in his mansion so no enemy could use you to get to him.
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#tag talk#the problem with going out and meeting new people to make friends is that so many people are highkey unbearable to be around#they'll fuck up basic scheduling for dates and meetups. they'll flake and message you about it two days later.#literally scheduled a dinner date with some dude and he never showed. texts me an hour later like “sorry I fell asleep” bitch you what?#like. messaging me literally last minute going “hey I've decided to not show up” is better than ghosting.#this isn't the first time something like this has happened. but like. why do people not respect my time.#I try so hard to communicate clearly and be transparent about timeline and schedule and letting people know if something comes up#and I'm not saying I'm better than other people. I'm saying I don't know why other people don't do it too. it feels like the bare minimum.#anyway. my brother was giving me shit for not sticking with friends for more than a few months and like. bro I have good reason.#I'm not going to choose to put in the effort for a relationship with someone if it's constant work on my end and constant let-downs on thei#like. bro I know I'm just some cheap ass to you but I'm still a person so maybe realize that I've put you in my schedule respect that#anyway. not being lonely isn't as easy as meeting new people. you have to actually like the people you meet.#meeting people you hate just entrenches you in the desire to never talk to people ever again.#unrelated. I cooked the best chicken of my life yesterday. milk butter garlic onion and lemon pepper.#crushed and minced garlic. diced onion. milk. butter. lemon pepper. heated in a pan.#then chicken pieces added to sauce in pan for a little bit. then moved to a pan in the oven.#I usually don't like chicken but damn this is genuinely so good. also my parents always cut chicken cross-grain and imo it's harder to eat#I prefer cutting the meat with the grain. idk why but it's so much easier to chew.#oh! pro tip. if you have trouble with milk going bad in the fridge cause you don't use it enough. powdered milk. big adhd tip#I can leave the tin of powdered milk in the pantry for months and then pull it out whenever I need it. no worry about spoiled milk#back to social and people. like. even nice people. I just don't like them anyway. idk why. like. nice polite people. mm too boring#would I like to be able to hold onto friends? sure. is that a reasonable expectation given my track record? no#I wasn't joking when I said I could drop tumblr no problem. it's nice here but relationships are fragile nothing built on air and dust#idk. cursed to a life of eternal loneliness. super fun. don't take this as a call for help. I don't need you to say “I'm sorry you're sad”
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how to realize i've had enough academically speaking today: i started to think about rafael and luca's domestic life, in case they somehow meet and get together after rafael's divorce.
#oc talk#i imagine he would be heartbroken but luca would be able to lift his spirits just by existing. luca would come home#after doing grocery shopping and he would be like 'ah!! i forgot salt and cheese!' while rafael's all 'its ok<3 i'll buy it get comfy'#he would be. really protective; the type to kill the bug except luca would feel bad so he asks him to put it outside instead.#these little kind gestures he shows through the day would enamour him more tbh. i dont think they would fight that much#because luca is just too soft to get angry; and he would be way too soft towards him to get angry at anything he does.#ok maybe he would get a bit angry on the whole 'not doing anything else besides blocking to the person who sends me death threats'#but its not directed at him its more the frustration over the fact he seems to be too kind and non confrontational for his own good.#a family can be a femboy who lives off streaming on twitch; a divorced soldier#and the guy who seems part of their lives because he loves to send said femboy horrific and medically accurate death threats.#also finally luca can live off something that isnt delivery or instant noodles because rafael will cook sometimes for the both of them#although he also doesnt know to cook. a lot of things bc charlotte used to be in charge of that (like the fucking patriarchy /j /s)#but hey at least they can eat homemade soup. or chicken wings. its better than nothing.#another thing is that he would feel suspicious of anything luca's fans send him and inspect the package just to see it doesnt contains.#an explosive or something KJDNKJDSNFJNJ the package needs to surpass his vibe check /j#oh and he would feel extremely awkward appearing on stream even if accidentally so whenever luca is Working™#he secludes himself on the living room and talks to mary or smth. luca on the other hand would probably talk about him on stream#whenever he knows he will be busy and not come home for a few days or more. he would miss him a lot:c#another thing before going to sleep and because i needed to say it: rafael's sex life would suffer a significant downgrade. and i dont mean#that sex became bad; moreso he doesnt have sex like. ever. his meat stick has no use now besides peeing#maybe now that hes dating someone though luca may be open to have sex SOMETIMES; but for him sometimes is like. 1 time every 2 months#and rafael's used to be way more sexually active (plus the few times would need to be way softer compared to how he was used with charlotte#i imagine that can be a bit frustrating tbh and as any guy traumatized by being cheated on (even more on his case) he would be#somewhat scared that luca doesnt likes him actually and that hes already looking for someone else/has someone else 'satisfying' him already#he realizes it doesnt makes sense at all because hes not that type of person; or so it seems. he was already tricked once for years.#but its ok they will find a solution because theyre 💖💘💖IN LOVE💖💘💖 the lingerie luca had for onlyfans could be useful for something#probably
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