#oh god the dishwasher quote
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Bigg Tugg Insults
A collection of dialogue prompts from Bigg Tugg's insults shorts. Feel free to adjust quotes as needed.
"You look like you chew all the kernels when you get to the bottom of the popcorn bag, you friggin' rodent!"
"You're the kind of person who strictly uses overhead lighting instead of mood lighting."
"You give me un-frosted Mini Wheat vibes."
"You look like you would happily drive a Mitsubishi Eclipse, the worst car ever put into production."
"You look like you genuinely get mad when someone doesn't say "bless you" after you sneeze."
"You look like you say you enjoy RC Cola over other other beverages."
"I bet you grew up in a house with designer dogs and declawed cats, your mother is a monster."
"I bet you cheated when the kids played Seven Up."
"You look like you own a dirty Batman flat brim."
"You give me the vibe of someone who spits a lot."
"You look like someone who took too long to figure out how to tie their shoes."
"You look like someone who prefers lemon Starbursts over every other flavor."
"You look like someone who secretly tried cat food when no one was looking and you actually liked it, but you can't tell anyone, because that's weird."
"You look like someone who would call a book a "real page turner", You nerd."
"You look like someone who'd get really upset if you weren't allowed to choose the color checker pieces you play with. You can't be red every time!"
"You look like someone who jumps in an obviously too cold pool and says "It's not even that cold."...Like what are you trying to prove?"
"You look like someone who really struggles opening up pistachio nuts...and you make it really hard to watch."
"You look like one of those people that screams whenever the lights go off in school. Oh my god. Shut up. Shut up. You're so annoying."
"You look like someone who wasn't allowed to watch Spongebob growing up."
"You look like someone who has a $3,000 gaming PC but no bed frame. Your priorities are a mess."
"You look like every time you went out to dinner with your parents as a kid, they would always get you dessert. You privlieged PIG!"
"You look like someone who, as a child, ate loose change on multiple occasions."
"You look like someone who has posted so many unremarkable photos of your cat that you have lost followers on Instagram."
"You look like you sleep on their back like Dracula. You weirdo, sleep on your side or your stomach!"
"You look like someone who did way too many Rick and Morty impressions in 2017, you deserved to be punished for that.
"You look like someone who beeps their horn at people in a fast food drive-thru."
"You look like your favorite superhero is Superman. Sick choice, bro, you absolute normie!"
"You look like someone who clicks on porn ads, you moron."
"You look like you studied abroad for a college semester and now you call Instanbul your second home. No one there knows you, you're annoying!"
"You look like someone who talks smack about cats because you don't know how to handle yourself around them."
"You look like someone who thinks that enjoying Diet Coke more than regular Coke is a personality trait. Here's a fun fact: Bad taste isn't interesting."
"You look like you purchased furniture off of Temu."
"You look like someone who would enjoy Fireball after the age of 22, which is an obnoxious type of person."
"You look like someone who got a little too deep into the Undertale fandom. You can't run from your past.
"You look like you don't have a trash bin in your bathroom. And if you don't know why that's a problem, then I get double points."
"You look like you don't change your sheets enough."
"You look like you correct people on the pronunciation of Uranus."
"I bet when you clean your apartment, you don't clean your light switches. Seriously, go look at your light switches, they're probably filthy."
"You look like you don't know how to load the dishwasher. It's silverware up!"
"You look like someone who gets upset when you see kids wearing helmets when they ride their bikes."
#rp memes#roleplay memes#rp meme#roleplay meme#roleplay starter#rp starters#roleplay starters#rp starter#quote memes#quote starters
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Could you do 5C for my OC, Jason Cunningham, from The White Winds?
Jason is a student at Wharton Academy and is part of Alan Tracy's and Fermat Hackenbacker's posse there. He's lanky, with short-cropped red hair, brown eyes, and a crap ton of freckles on his pale face. His parents are with the World Health Organization (IIRC) and are usually overseas. His grandfather has power of attorney and custody while his parents are away.
The reason I asked for 5C is the scenes where Jason is being teased by Sable de la Croix, a dishwasher assistant in Wharton's cafeteria. Her usual question is "How's it hanging, Red?" and Jason has no idea how to respond!
A quote:
Jason's stricken face first drained of color, then flushed redder than before. He shook his head once and fled from the tray return as quickly as he could without running. Joining his friends in the lobby, he pressed a hand to his face, sliding it down his cheek, and moaning, "Oh, God. Why does she pick on me?"
"Because you blush so prettily?" Kay offered, grinning.
"Because you get this deer-in-headlights look?" Alan commented, holding back a laugh with difficulty.
"Because your mouth moves like a fish's?" A.J. demonstrated what he meant by pursing his lips into a tight "O" and rapidly opening and closing them.
"Oh, God. Do I really do all that?" Jason moaned again, covering his face with both hands and shaking his head.
So, could you do him? Thanks so much for offering!
It's taken suuuuuuper long for me to get to this so thank you so much for your patience!!
Jason was so much fun to draw, and I was immediately stricken by how much personality he has! Plus I love a character who's Alan friend <333
I dressed him in my own take on the Wharton uniform and recreated that little scene with Sable :D Hope you like it!
#thunderbirds#thunderbirds 2004#thunderbirds oc#jason cunningham#march of the ocs#however belated lol#lou draws things
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I posted 17,786 times in 2021
582 posts created (3%)
17204 posts reblogged (97%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 29.6 posts.
I added 1,028 tags in 2021
#dream smp - 204 posts
#mcyt - 204 posts
#simper says stuff - 172 posts
#sander sides - 98 posts
#sanders sides - 97 posts
#source: ??? - 64 posts
#shitpost - 56 posts
#hamilton - 45 posts
#hamilton musical - 45 posts
#hamilton the musical - 43 posts
Longest Tag: 136 characters
#i'm gonna be excited if we get a shitty female villain who has done really shitty things that can't be sympathized for like with the men
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
I wanted do to more God!Reader but with Mumza being a death goddess alongside Reader
Mumza mostly goes around handling Limbo and chatting with the dead residences, making their monochrome days a little bit brighter, her smile so big despite the occupation
God!Reader spends time collecting souls and managing the Three Lives system, taking the souls to limbo for Mumza to handle. Possibly writing down resurrection books ages ago or even currently, with them landing in the hands of drunken rams and green hoodies.
And I could go with angst, but God!Reader has always been a chaotic gremlin so we'll keep going with that with some angst because d i e
Reader and Mumza meeting up everyday to discuss what the SMP's dead residents have been up too. Reader ignoring their own rules of death that they created because 'hey that Wilbur guy seemed pretty chill why don't I revive him' or 'hey that Soot guy looked pretty cool alright Dream you can revive him', commenting on how many first lives were lost in the Final Control room ('seriously stop getting stabbed guys I hate working'), and seeing the symbolism as L'Manburg loses all three lives
Reader getting whiplash at the protector's mortal counterpart losing two lives within five minutes and having to handle the count, looking at the God of Death Totems being sacrificed in front of their mortal parent, meeting up with Mumza's lover and reminding him of his Hardcore life, reminding that Technoblade can die and possibly hinting that he will through their hands
Looking at Techno using a Totem of Undying at his execution and being like 'you escaped death pog', possibly declaring Foolish as their child due Reader possibly creating the Totems of Undying, seeing Mexican Dream die from a Creeper and being like 'seriously bro that was not a pro gamer move lol'
309 notes • Posted 2021-05-30 06:42:00 GMT
#4
i saw anons asks about a god!reader and i’m here to throw my hat into the ring
anons idea of god!reader telling Techno there’s a real blood god sounds so hilarious to me.
like i imagine Technoblade didn’t know there was a blood god so he’s freaking out and Reader’s like “i know! i’ll bring you to the blood god and you can battle for the title!”
reader just showing up the prison and handing quackity a copy of the revive book like “you guys don’t have a library on this server???? my parent read this to me when i was like a century old!”
when quackity tries to blow up the Egg reader’s just watching like “okay but what if there were MORE explosions” and just gives quackity a full inventory of TNT (by replacing all his shit with just TNT)
i believe in god!reader supremacy
Just asking Foolish to build this cool arena and Techno's just seeing this 30 ft dude. I can defo see the Reader learning about Greek Myths through him, and I can see Reader being like 'why are they fucking their siblings ew'
Reader coming after Doomsday so they don't know there used to be a library in L'manburg and when they say that Quackity might get a little snappy~ They see Quackity still enter the prison and are like 'I gave you what you wanted??? What???? Why are you still coming?????'
Them helping Quackity blow up the Egg because 'bombs are pog' and may or may not give Quackity his stuff back. Them seeing Punz and Bad and being like 'why do you not like bombs? Bombs are cool'. Reader is more powerful then the Egg, but they're on neither side,,,,,, No eggs only friends (and bombs)
320 notes • Posted 2021-05-25 06:01:08 GMT
#3
Janus: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.
372 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 06:35:54 GMT
#2
NGL, I’d pretty pissed to if someone murdered my best friend and then started singing about the dinosaurs.
412 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 06:15:35 GMT
#1
Janus: I know we don’t get along with each other, but I got you a bath bomb for your birthday. So, whenever you’re feeling stressed, just fill your bathtub with water and drop this in. I guarantee all your worries will be over.
Virgil: opens up the bag ....Deceit, this is a toaster.
826 notes • Posted 2021-01-02 00:04:57 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
#my 2021 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#oh god the dishwasher quote#i still see that thing getting likes and reblogs
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Dylan Hollis baking quotes without context
“With the thoop?”
“You can’t hide from me! I wish you could...”
“911, what’s your emergency?” “Yeah, that lady, Carol, is at the barbeque again.”
“Sorry, I’m just trying to kill it.”
“At least it’s not moving.”
bang “...I think I summoned something.”
“I need nut instructions.”
“Oh, god, it’s bleeding.”
“I have birthed you!”
“You ever see a sewage pipe burst?”
“3, 2, 1, blast off! To the toilet.”
“I should have gone to church.”
“On this episode of Dead White People,”
“Who’s mooing now?!”
“I’ve baked a toilet.”
“Suppose it’s better than eating your offspring.”
“Do I call the police, or a priest?” beep “A priest.”
“I’m bleeding.”
“No eggs, no milk, no butter, no joy!”
“It’s a breast implant.”
“It already smells like death.”
“Was Mitchell a cat?”
“That’s the power of Pine-sol, baby!”
“This is what I’d imagine a toilet brush to taste like.”
"A little late in the century for war crimes.”
“I feel like if I do this correctly, I’m gonna invoke the spirit of Richard Nixon.”
“This ain’t food honey, this is a bioweapon!”
“How do you decorate a tumor?”
“It’s not bad, it’s just a cup of diabetes.”
“AH! Bean rebellion!”
“You know, it’s horrible now, but I hope it turns out okay. Like children.”
“Don’t ask me how it smells.”
“Before pumpkin pie become king, people ate this, now they’re dead.”
“Welcome to the world, it’s awful.”
“Who I can only describe as an infant male escort.”
“DEMON BABY!”
“Can a cake be tried for treason?”
“Either chocolate fixes everything or this is alchemy.”
“It’s a boy!”
“Smells like the war.”
“If I cut off my feet do we still have to do this?”
“We seem to have made a chamber pot.”
“Nothing says salad like animal collagen.”
“Are you a thorceror?”
“Reminds me of my summers in Columbia.”
“I’m sorry, my cauldron is in the dishwasher.”
“Well at least you specified the appliance, nah, I was gonna bake this in the dishwasher.”
“Now this took forty minutes to stiffen up which means it should see a doctor.”
“It doesn’t need salt, it needs help.”
“Hopefully it’ll be pink.”
“Now what does that mean? It means it was written by a white person.”
“On this episode of Bread Goes to Space,”
“You know Peter Pan came out in 1928, brave king.”
“Your friends are going to love the circles of indistinct mammal.”
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The Dream SMP is a very serious roleplay server. Here are some of my favorite quotes to prove it.
"There's a time and a place for anger shitting."
"no man should be forced to wiggle against his will."
*through sobs* "thank you ninja's wife Jessica Blevins for the 100 gifted subs."
"If it pleases the court I would like to say that my opponent is talking shiiiiiit."
*starts singing and dancing to Taio Cruz's Dynamite*
*in the middle of a battle* "There's a hole in the wall up here!"
"Oh my god I love that show!"
*while running into another battle* "if we all say humuna humuna at the same time it'll sound really funny"
"humuna humuna humuna humuna humuna humuna humuna."
"I can't empty the dishwasher, mom, I'm live! I'm in the middle of a war, mom!"
"Oh my god he's dead? No!" *Gangnam style begins to play*
#dream smp#dsmp#dream smp quotes#dsmp quotes#wilbur soot#tommyinnit#quackity#quackityhq#karl jacobs#tubbo#ranboo#techno#technoblade#motherinnit#mcyt
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ALL ABOUT ME
[Kurt Kunkle x female reader]
Chapter 2- Are You Bored Yet?
Words: 2111
Warnings: Little bit NSFW, non-graphic sex scene
A/N: There’s some messaging included so here’s a guide for future reference (your username is doodlesgalore)
(username): Youtube
(username)> instagram
(Name): text
Rick is still sleeping peacefully by the time you wake. You get up and decide to make breakfast, quietly walking into the kitchen. You put in your headphones and start pulling out ingredients to make omelets. Normally you would play a podcast, but you’re caught up on all your favorites. Scrolling through youtube, you see a notification.
KurtsWorld- Trying boba for the first time!
You’re absolutely intrigued. Clicking on the video, you see that it was posted just an hour ago and there were 2 views. After the ads play, you set your phone up and start preparing ingredients.
The video starts with Kurt walking down the street. It’s a bit windy so you have a hard time hearing what he’s saying but luckily he goes into a building and you can hear him.
“So today I’m at the new boba shop that just opened up in Azusa! Join me while I try it for the first time!”
You can’t help but smile. He doesn’t have great camera presence but he sure is excited. You go to the fridge and hear a lot of rustling from the video. After grabbing what you need, you go back to the video and replay what you missed. You hear him repeat the end of the sentence and he puts the camera in his pocket. The video continues like that for about 15 seconds and finally jumps to the next clip.
You’re holding back laughter at this point. Does he have an editor? Does he even know how to edit? The video continues with him zooming in on the menu, then cuts to a shot of him ordering that is angled below his chin. After the cashier takes his order, he looks down at the camera and gives an excited smile.
Oh my god, this is your new favorite person ever. Something about his awkwardness is so endearing. You’re starting to tear up from holding back laughter when Rick leaves the bedroom.
“Hey babe,” he calls from the hallway.
“Hey, honey. I’m making food for us,” you say, turning your phone off and pouring the eggs onto the pan. Rick walks up behind you and plants a kiss on your neck, humming when he sees what you’re making.
“You make the best omelets,” he says, kissing your head as he heads to the bathroom to take a shower.
You finish making the omelets, putting them on plates and bringing them to the table. You sit down to eat and call Rick to the table. For some reason you can’t get Kurt out of your mind. He was just so… silly. In a really cute way.
Rick sits down and starts devouring his food. The way he eats really grosses you out but you just try to ignore it. You take bites of your food, praising yourself for making it so well. By the time you’re halfway done with yours, Rick already washed his plate off and put it in the dishwasher.
“Hey babe,” you say. “Do you know the guy who used to babysit Bobby? Kurt?”
“Ah yeah, Kurt Kunkle,” he scoffs at the name. “Bobby says he’s a fucking weirdo.”
You’re a bit taken aback by the comment.
“Well, I just wanted to say he has a youtube channel. I think it’s really funny.” Rick laughs at that.
“Oh, I’ve seen it. The dude is such a fucking loser, he’s seriously trying so hard to go ‘viral’.” Rick says, using air quotes around the last word.
“I mean he’s just doing something he enjoys. Who cares if he’s good at it?” You try to defend Kurt despite knowing arguing would go nowhere with Rick. He rolls his eyes and walks back to his bedroom. You feel a bit hurt, even though you know it doesn’t have to do with you. You finish the omelet and start the dishwasher, walking to the bedroom.
Rick is on his phone, laughing at whatever is on the screen. He looks up to see you and sets it down.
“Bobby’s coming over. We’re probably gonna be playing video games, so if it’s too loud you can just head out.”
The last sentence really frustrated you. While you did often get overwhelmed with the noise and just left, he made it sound like he was giving you permission to leave. You were too tired to say anything and just started getting ready for the day, already expecting to leave. Rick’s eyes were glued onto you as you took your shirt off, watching you find a bra to put on.
“God you’re so hot,” he says, wrapping his arms around you from behind. Normally you love when he does that, but it just feels wrong this time. He starts kissing down your neck and you try to push him away.
“Isn’t Bobby coming over?” you insist.
“It won’t be for a little while, it’s fine,” he says, pulling your hair to the side so he can kiss further down your shoulder. It was really easy to turn you on, which Rick knew and loved. The strange feeling was really nagging at you but you know the horniness won’t go away quickly unless dealt with.
Before you could even respond, Rick gently bit down on your neck, eliciting a gasp from you. He laughed against your neck and turned you around, kissing you deeply. You had started to dissociate every time you had sex with Rick a while ago and never cared to change that. The whole process was so repetitive, you knew exactly what to do and say to make Rick happy and could do it on autopilot.
The whole time you’re going through the familiar motions, Kurt is on your mind. Not in a sexual way, just that you are enamored by him. The only time you’re pulled from your thoughts is when you cum. It never really feels that good but you know how uncomfortable it gets being aroused all day. Luckily Rick finishes not long after and you give him a quick kiss as you go to the bathroom.
The indifference to sex always brings the question of your relationship with Rick to your mind. You know why you don’t leave but it hurts to think about. You met Rick after you moved to Azusa to be closer to family and didn’t know a lot of people. Not many people showed interest in you before so Rick quickly had you wrapped around his finger. Rick isn’t a bad person. You’re just bored of being with him. The only ray of hope recently had been the party where you met Kurt.
Heading back to the bedroom, you see Rick making the bed. You smile at him and kiss his cheek as you head to get dressed. For a moment, the thought of leaving him runs through your mind but you brush it off as you put clothes on and head to the living room, where you hear a knock on the door.
Opening the door, you’re greeted by Bobby. You smile at him politely as he gives a nod of greeting. You step to the side and he makes his way to the bedroom as you shut the door. Already, there is a lot of noise coming from the bedroom. You want to stick it out and stay as long as it is tolerable so you put in your headphones and continue Kurt’s video.
It continues where you left off, with Kurt ordering at the boba shop. There are a few clips of him getting his order and finding a seat outside, where luckily the wind has calmed down. He sets the camera down to face him and it falls a couple of times in the process, once again adding to the thought that he doesn’t know how to edit.
“Alright, I’m not quite sure how this works…” He says, looking at the straw and then the top of the cup. He looks back and forth at them with a confused look on his face.
“Sorry guys, I’ve never done this before. Let me…” His voice trails off as he taps the lid of the boba with the sharp end of the straw. He does it a couple more times, flinching every time it connects. Finally, he manages to puncture the lid and looks so proud of himself. You cheer internally as he brings the straw to his mouth and immediately chokes on a tapioca pearl. You can’t hold it back after that and laugh as he coughs and tries to process what just happened. At the same time, you see Bobby walk out of the bedroom. He scoffs as he passes by.
“Is that Kurt?” He says condescendingly as you pause the video.
“Oh, yeah. I met him at your party last night.”
“He’s fucking crazy. Seems to think we’re best friends just because he babysat me when I was a fucking kid. Swear to god he’s gonna kill someone someday.” Bobby says, genuinely sounding upset.
“Oh.” You say, not knowing how to even respond. “Uh, good to know I guess.”
“Hey, I’m taking the last two Sprites,” Bobby calls from the kitchen.
“That’s fine, I need to go shopping anyway.”
“Sweet,” Bobby says, heading back to the bedroom. You watch him walk away and hit play on the video. Despite everything Rick and Bobby said, you’re still fascinated by Kurt.
After he coughs a bit, Kurt manages to catch his breath and looks at the camera.
“So first impression is to, uh, not…suck that hard.” His eyes flicker to the camera as if he realizes that phrase sounds weird but he doesn’t acknowledge it. He takes another drink and manages to get a good sip without choking. He chews on the boba thoughtfully and raises his eyebrows in approval. He hums before he swallows and speaks again.
“That’s really good. So yeah guys, if you want a good drink, come down to Boba Beast in Azusa.” He gives the camera a thumbs-up and smiles, slightly cocking his head to the side. The video cuts to one more clip of Kurt walking up to a traffic pole, placing on it a yellow sticker of a very crudely drawn planet with a face and “Kurt’s World” written above.
You immediately go to like the video. You decide to leave a comment, trying to think of something to say.
doodlesgalore: Great review, laughed so hard when you choked. I’ll def be going there soon
The frustrated yelling of Rick and Bobby makes you jump. You try to ignore it and decide to check Instagram. You scroll through posts of people you haven’t seen since high school, feeling more pathetic after each happy photo shown on your feed. A notification pops up on your phone from youtube saying that Kurt responded to your comment. You go to click on it but stop after getting an idea. You tap on the search bar on Instagram, looking up “KurtsWorld96”. Your phone takes a minute to load but an account pops up with the same name and the yellow planet as the profile picture. You excitedly click on the account and hit follow.
Scrolling through the feed, you see reposts of clips from his videos and some outdated memes. After clicking on only a few posts, you get a notification that Kurt followed you back. Your heart rate picks up as you decide to message him.
doodlesgalore> Hey Kurt, it’s Y/N from the party last night
doodlesgalore> I saw the video you posted today :)
You swipe out of Instagram and look at the response Kurt gave on youtube.
KurtsWorld96: Awesome! I love giving fans recommendations 😊
You smile at the emoji and see that Kurt responded to your message. Does he have nothing better to do right now? You brush it off as him being dedicated to his online presence and click on his DM.
kurtsworld96> Hey Y/N! Did you like the video??
doodlesgalore> I loved it !! I was the one who left a comment btw
kurtsworld96> Thank you for your support 😌
You close the app and turn off your phone for a second, painfully aware of the increasing noise coming from the bedroom. You roll your eyes while grabbing your shoes and a tote bag, deciding to go to the boba place Kurt mentioned.
Hesitantly walking towards the bedroom, you poke your head in to say goodbye to Rick. He and Bobby are engrossed in their game, yelling at each other and the screen. You assume Rick won’t hear or acknowledge your departure so you just leave without saying anything as the strange feeling from before gnaws at your insides.
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Let Me make it up to You
Gallavich Week 2022 - Day 2: Quote based. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” - Rita Rudner.
Read on AO3
@gallavichthings
“Are you telling me I got drunk-married, agreed to stay married for the sake of health insurance, lied to my family about having an entire relationship with the stranger I married, only to end up with someone who doesn’t know how to use a fucking dishwasher?”
You look up from an old Guns & Ammo to cock an eyebrow at your new husband. “I grew up poor, Gallagher. Didn’t even know what a dishwasher was until worked in the kitchen at juvie.”
“I grew up poor, too, but I still know that once the dishwasher is full you have to turn it on and do the load in order to have clean dishes!”
“Yeah, well …” You tongue your cheek and say nothing else because this is new, this is all new, and you’re not sure how bad it could get.
“Yeah, well, what, Mickey?”
“I’m sorry, okay? Let me make it up to you.”
“Make it up to me? How?”
“I dunno … I could suck your dick?”
Gallagher’s eyes narrow. “Seriously?”
“Sure. That shit worked out well the night we got hitched – might as well make the most of the situation, right?”
“Jesus Christ … fuck. Yeah, okay.”
“Will you at least try it?”
“I’m not trying your fucked-up healthy food that has nothing but oats and shit in it.”
Gallagher snorts. “I can assure you there is no shit in quinoa.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Or oats,” he says, shoving another mouthful in.
“Still not gonna try it. And why are you being so pushy about it? We can’t seriously like that shit?”
“I do, actually. So you’re just gonna sit there and eat your burger?”
“Yes I am.”
“On Meatless Monday?”
“Oh, you know what, Gallagher? Fuck you and your Meatless Monday bullshit. I never agreed to doing that shit. In fact, I was wholeheartedly against it from the second you mentioned it.”
“Yeah, but you could be supportive.”
“Of oats instead of meat? Fuck no.”
“There are no oats! God, why are you such an asshole?”
“Why are you such a pussy bitch?”
“Fuck you. Eating this way is good for my state of mind and you’re being a real tool about it.”
“I …” You swallow back whatever you were going to say and think of the pills he keeps in the bathroom cabinet. “Yeah, fair enough.”
“No apology?”
“No. Maybe I could offer you’re a blow job instead?”
“I’ll take it.”
“Do you ever pick up after yourself?”
“Do you ever chill the fuck out?”
“A pair of socks,” he says, flinging them at you. “It’s not that fucking difficult.”
“Neither is not being anal-retentive.”
“I’ll give you anal-retentive.”
“Ooh, please do.”
“Mickey!”
“I’m sorry, okay? Look, I’ll try harder to put my socks in the laundry basket when I take them off.” You get out off the couch and do exactly that. “I’ll even try and remember to do a load of laundry every now and then.”
“A half-assed promise doesn’t make up for the amount of filthy washing I picked up today.”
“Fuck. I mean, I could blow you?”
“Really?”
“I know we’re still new at this, but have you ever known me to not want to blow you?”
“Yeah, fair enough. Okay.”
“Why do you have to be so aggressive?”
“It’s called dental hygiene, Gallagher.”
“It’s called brushing until you bleed,” he says, disgusted.
“My gums don’t bleed, asshole.”
“No, but you do get toothpaste spit all over the fucking mirror. It’s gross.”
Both eyebrows shoot up and you continue to speak around the toothbrush in your mouth. “Seriously? You licked my ass last night, but toothpaste spit is gross?”
“Could you just learn to clean the mirror after you’re done. It doesn’t take more than five seconds to grab a cloth and wipe the spit away. It’s common sense and common curtesy.”
“Whatever, Captain Clean. Are you done busting my balls over toothpaste spit?”
“No.”
You spit into the sink and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. “Will it shut you up if I get on my knees and choke on your dick.”
“I – yeah, it might.”
“Quit hogging the remote.”
“Fuck off, you don’t even like TV.”
“Of course I like TV. Everyone likes TV.”
“Not true.”
“Name one person who doesn’t like TV.”
“My brother.”
Gallagher yanks the remote out of your hand. “Please. How am I supposed to know if that’s true? Also, you have, like, seven brothers so that’s only one-seventh of an answer.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, would you like me to be more specific? Colin. Colin doesn’t like TV.”
“You’re literally lying to my face right now, aren’t you?”
You stare into his eyes for a few moments before relenting. “Yeah. Sorry. Want me to make it up to you? There are other things I can do with my mouth that aren’t lying.”
“You’re offering to blow me again?”
“Hell yeah.”
“You know that’s not gonna work every time, right?”
“Isn’t it?”
“Fucker. Go on, then.”
“You finished the milk and didn’t get more?”
“The fuck?” You throw him a glare over the rim of your coffee cup. “I don’t even have milk in my coffee.”
“You have it in your cereal.”
“I … fuck. Yeah, I guess I do.”
“Mickey.”
“Sorry, man, let me make it up to you.”
He rolls his eyes. “Let me guess, another blowie.”
“You gonna tell me you don’t want it?”
“Fuck no.”
“Mickey?”
“Yeah.”
“What happened to my watch?”
“Oh. Fuck. Uh … you want a –”
“Yes. Get on your fucking knees.”
“So, don’t be mad.”
You sit your beer on the table and look up at him. “Great opening, Gallagher.”
“Something happened. I take full responsibility, but I want you to know it was an accident.”
“Spit it out, man.”
“I tripped. And spilled my quinoa.” He pauses, runs a hand over the back of his neck. “It spilt all through your shoes.”
“My shoes – you mean my Timberlands?”
“Yeah.”
You get to your feet, beer forgotten. “Are you fucking serious? Those are literally the only shoes I have and now they’re filled with oats and shit?”
“There are no oats –” he starts, then stops himself. “You know what? I’m sorry. It was an accident and I’m sorry.”
“Let me make it up to you.”
“You gonna pay for my new winter boots?”
“No.” He grins and steps closer. “But I could blow you.”
“Oh.” One side of your mouth tilts up to match his smile. “Yeah, okay.”
#gallavich Week 2022#ian and mickey#gallavich fic#gallavich#shameless fic#my fic#accidental marriage au
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Help in Three Phases | Tom Holland
masterlist found here
pairing - roommate!Tom x reader word count - 4,359 warnings - language, period talk, masturbation (f), use of vibrator, oral (f receiving), m/f sex A/N - idk I’m pmsing pretty bad and this is how I’m feeling so here we are
summary - Your period hits you in three phases, and after living with Tom for six months, he finally starts to catch on to what you need during each one.
You had been living with Tom for a long time, and you loved it. You got along really well and made the perfect pair of roommates. Growing up, the two of you had been best friends. When you wanted to move out of your parents’ house but couldn’t afford to live on your own yet, Tom felt it was only natural to offer up his spare bedroom. You’d only have to pay half the rent, and if you missed a month, Tom would have no difficulty covering for you.
There was only one problem that came from being so close to Tom, and that was your dating life. For years, guys wouldn’t approach you because they assumed you were with Tom. And when they found out you weren’t, they were scared away by the fact that you lived with him. It was completely infuriating. Yes, you had, from time to time, wondered what it might be like to cross that line with him, but you were just best friends, and you hated how much that hindered any option you had in the dating world. It grew especially frustrating during one specific time of the month.
You were two things when you were PMSing: irritable and clingy. Not a period cycle went by where you didn’t wish you were the weepy girl on her period. No. You were the pissy girl. You got mad at everything, and you knew you were the worst to be around. All of the problems started about three days before your period actually hit and didn’t end until three days later. So while most girls dealt with seven days of a period, you basically dealt with seven days of bleeding and six days of side effects. Thus, your period came in three phases.
Phase one.
The days before your period, you had cravings and mood swings. The first day you felt it coming this time around, you and Tom had just finished dinner, and you were eagerly anticipating digging into your ice cream that was waiting for you in the freezer. Only it wasn’t there. You felt your jaw and your fists clench in anger. “Thomas,” you started, “where’s my ice cream?”
“Hmm?” Tom hummed from where he was loading the dishwasher.
“Where’s my ice cream?” you repeated, turning on your heel to face him. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
“You finished it two days ago,” he said.
“No I fucking did not,” you said. “I was specifically saving it for today.”
“Right,” Tom said slowly, “but then two nights ago, you got drunk and said to me, I was going to save this, but I’m gonna eat it now because -and I quote- fuck self control.”
“And you let me?” you snapped.
Tom scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Like I’m going to argue with drunk (Y/N) about whether or not she should eat her ice cream.” You groaned dramatically, slammed the freezer door shut, and stormed off to your room.
The next day, you were having a saltier craving. You were sitting in bed, watching an episode of New Girl, when you suddenly started to crave nachos. You pushed yourself out of bed and made your way to the kitchen, getting a plate from the cupboard and opening a bag of tortilla chips. When you opened the fridge to get some shredded cheese, you could feel your face grow hot in anger. “Are you fucking kidding me?” you mumbled to yourself. “This is easily the most frustrating fucking thing I’ve ever experienced.”
“What’s going on?” Tom asked from his spot on the couch.
“We don’t have any fucking shredded cheese!” you huffed. “How do we not have shredded fucking cheese?”
“Jesus Christ,” he chuckled.
“You’re going to wish Jesus Christ was here if we don’t get some shredded cheese in this house soon.”
The next day, on your way home from work, you stopped at the store to pick up some panty liners and chocolate. When you got home, you set the bag on the counter, the sound of rustling plastic peaking Tom’s interest. “What’d you get from the store?” he asked.
“Chocolate,” you said.
“Chocolate?” Tom repeated.
“For me,” you emphasized.
“Don’t you know sharing is caring?” he asked.
“Right,” you said. “Well, when you develop a uterus, consider my stash your stash.”
Phase two.
The next day, like clockwork, you woke up with an aching back, a nauseous stomach, and an immediate need to use the bathroom. This was the first part of the phase where your lack of significant other really put a damper on things. You were crabby, and all you wanted was to be held and cared for.
And after six months of living together, Tom finally started to notice your shift in mood during phase two. It wasn’t that he didn’t know you were on your period, and he wasn’t oblivious to the cranky stage that came before this one. But now, he was starting to realize just how upset you got during your period. Yes, you were still cranky, but you were also just down in the dumps. He never saw you cry, but then again, he never really saw you. You rarely left your room, but when you did, you had a permanent frown etched on your face.
Tom didn’t have any sisters, and none of his relationships had ever been serious enough that he saw a girlfriend through her periods. So, when it came to handling a girl when she was menstruating, he took advice from Harrison. After all, he had a sister. And Harrison told Tom to steer clear of you and give you space. So for that week each month, that’s what Tom did. But you were Tom’s best friend, and he loved you. Seeing you so upset and sitting back like it wasn’t happening was too difficult.
So this time around, Tom decided to change up the routine. You hadn’t come out for your ice cream yet, so he went to the freezer, got out your unopened pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a spoon, and made his way to your room. He knocked on the door, waited for your words of permission, and walked in. You had all the lights off and the shades drawn, so you were only illuminated by the TV screen where New Girl was playing. “Hey,” you mumbled. “Is my TV too loud?”
“No,” Tom said with a shake of his head. “No, I, uh, I brought you your ice cream.”
“Oh,” you said, surprise in your voice. “Thanks.”
“Yeah,” he said, walking over to your bed to hand it to you. “Do you want some company or anything?” Your eyebrows raised.
“Seriously?” you asked. The tips of Tom’s ears turned pink.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to bug you. I just thought-“
“No, no,” you said quickly. “I’m just surprised. You usually avoid me like the plague during this week.”
He chuckled awkwardly. “I guess I thought I was supposed to.”
“Let me guess,” you said with a grin. “Harrison?” Tom just smiled, so you patted the bed next to you, and he came to sit down, pulling the covers over his legs. You adjusted the hot pad on your back and relaxed again against the pillows. There was an awkward space between you and Tom, mostly because Tom didn’t want to overstep. It wasn’t that you guys didn’t cuddle, but he honest to god didn’t know how to approach you when you were on your period. What if he touched you and you just snapped?
But then he noticed how wiggly you were getting and opened his arms up. “Wanna cuddle?” he offered. You smiled gratefully and nodded, adjusting yourself again and cuddling up to his side.
“Sorry if my hot pad gets too warm,” you said.
“No worries,” he said, pulling you close to his side. “Whatever makes you feel better.” You nodded and nuzzled your cheek against his chest. Tom knew what kind of touches you liked best, so he moved his hand to the top of your head and started massaging your scalp and running your fingers through your hair. You hummed contently which made his heart feel warm.
“Thanks, Tommy,” you muttered. “I really needed this.”
“Of course, darling,” he whispered. “All you had to do was ask, and I’d be here.”
That was how you spent the rest of your free time during the week: cuddled up in bed with Tom watching New Girl. He made you dinner most days, and when he didn’t, it was because he ordered take out. 98-percent of you was thrilled, but then there were the other two. Being this close to Tom was fulfilling that desire you had for a significant other to be there for you, and it was messing with your head. You had been harboring a crush for Tom for as long as you had known him, but you had always been able to keep a lid on it. With him doing this for you, it was hard to stop yourself from bursting.
Phase three.
Your period was in the rear view mirror, but now came arguably the worst part. Because after your period, you were insanely horny. This time around, it was even worse. For that, you blamed Tom. And he may’ve been able to help during phase two, but no way were you going to ask him to help during phase three. No matter how badly you wanted to.
You got out of the shower and dried off, settling into clean sheets without putting on your pajamas. You kept the sheets off of you as you reached into your bedside drawer and pulled out your vibrator. It buzzed to life when you pressed the button, and you brought it straight to your nipples, running it over each of them until they were both hard. Then you trailed it down your stomach before pausing at your core. It was a rabbit, so it was made to stimulate your clit and your pussy at the same time. You were already clenching in anticipation as you teased yourself, letting the vibrator dance across your outer lips. Your thighs were slick with your juices, and you were able to slide the toy inside you with no problem.
Normally, you weren’t loud when you masturbated, but it took a lot to silence yourself. You often had your face buried in your pillow or your teeth biting harshly into your lower lip. That night, you were so far gone, keeping your moans quiet wasn’t exactly in the forefront of your mind. Your pussy was clenching the vibrator so tightly, and the vibrations were making your head hazy.
“Oh shit,” you breathed out. Every time you used the toy after a week of PMSing, you felt like you were in heaven. Sure, it was nothing compared to a real dick, but it sure did a damn good job at satisfying you.
You were sure Tom’s dick would be more satisfying though.
Then, you were picturing him railing into you, your face pressed against the mattress and his fingers leaving bruises on your hips. It wasn’t the first time you had thought about him while pleasuring yourself, but it was the first time his name left your lips while doing it.
“Tom,” you moaned. It wasn’t too loud, but you still forced your teeth to sink into your lower lip to stop it from happening again.
But the damage had already been done, because Tom walked right by your door when you said his name. He didn’t think anything of it, just assuming you heard him walking by and needed him for something. His light knock on the door caused your heart to race against your chest. You fumbled to get the covers over yourself but didn’t have time to turn off the vibrator before he came in. You gripped the sheets close to your chest and ignored the vibrator buzzing on the bed between your thighs. It was no longer inside you, but it was so close to your core that you were still feeling the shocks.
“What’s up?” you asked, praying you sounded chill.
“You called my name,” he said, leaning against the doorframe. You shook your head and frowned.
“No I didn’t,” you said. You knew you didn’t sound convincing. Tom furrowed his eyebrows but seemed amused.
“I swear you did,” he said. He opened his mouth to say something else, but closed it again when he heard something. “Is your phone going off?”
“What?” you said, feeling panic settling in your chest. “No.”
“Are you sure?” he said, patting his own pants pockets. “I hear something vibrating.”
“Nope,” you said, then laughed awkwardly. “You must be hearing things, Holland.”
Tom could tell you were hiding something, and he liked how flustered you seemed. It was funny to him. He took a few steps closer to you, and your body froze. “What are you doing?” you asked, hoping he didn’t notice your voice shake.
He laughed. “What is up with you?”
“Nothing!” you said. “Can’t you just go?”
“You’re hiding something,” he said. “And I only know one way to get you to spill.”
Your eyes grew wide at what he was insinuating. “No,” you said, shaking your head. “No, Tom, don’t.” He ignored you and jumped on the bed, gripping your hips over the sheets and tickling you. “Tom!” you said, trying to wiggle away from him while still keeping your body covered.
And then, he felt it.
The vibrator buzzed against his knee causing him to stop his actions in their tracks. You were mortified. Tom didn’t look at you. Instead, he looked down at his knee as if trying to stare through the sheet to see the toy in question. You didn’t know what to say. You were busted. There was no way around it. How were you going to talk your way out of this one?
What you hadn’t expected was for Tom to grab your sheet and pull it off your body. You were frozen in shock as you watched him. His eyes were still fixated on the vibrator, now noticing that it was covered in your slick. When he finally looked at you, you realized his pupils were so blown that his eyes looked black. You were waiting for him to say something or even leave the room in disgust. Instead, Tom picked up your vibrator and turned it over in his hands, not at all seeming to mind that it was wet.
“Do you think of me a lot when you do this?”
You opened your mouth and closed it again, and Tom surprised you by pressing the vibrator against your clit. A choked out moan passed your lips and your hips lifted. “Answer me,” he said.
“Yes,” you cried. “Yes, I do, Tom.” He pulled the vibrator away, and you whined at the feeling. He looked up at you again, and you felt embarrassed tears come to your eyes as you closed your legs and covered your chest with your arms. “I’m so sorry,” you said. “Please, please just go, and I’ll never-“
“Open your legs.”
Your eyes widened as you tried to process what he said. You looked at him and saw he was staring at your body.
“What?” you said. Tom lifted his head to look in your eyes, and his expression softened.
“You tell me you don’t want my help,” he said, “and I’ll go. But-“ He cut himself off, needing to clear his throat to stop his voice from cracking. “-fuck, let me help you.”
Instead of answering him with words, you moved your hands from your chest and spread your legs apart. Tom wasted no time situating himself between your legs, your vibrator still in his hand. He licked his lips before bringing the toy to your cunt, pushing it inside you inch by inch. His mouth watered at how eager your pussy was to take the vibrator, and he imagined how tightly you’d squeeze his cock.
The smaller part of the vibrator pressed against your clit every time Tom pushed the toy inside you. He worked it slowly, and you were writhing on the bed above him. You both jumped when his finger hit one of the buttons, and the vibration setting changed. “How many different vibrations are there?” he asked you, not taking his eyes off your cunt.
“Uh, huh, 30,” you stuttered.
“30,” Tom repeated, like he was testing the number on his lips. “‘S a lot.”
“Mhm,” you hummed.
“You use them all?” he asked.
“Not all the time,” you managed to say. He pulled the toy out of you until just the tip was inside. You whined and tried to lift your hips, but he put his arm across your stomach to stop you. He pressed the button again, trying out another vibration. He kept clicking until he stopped on one whose pattern and intensity intrigued him.
“You like this one?” he asked. He sounded genuinely curious, but you were too focused on the fact that Tom was holding a vibrator against your cunt to answer him in any significant way.
“I like them all,” you said. Your eyes were closed, so you couldn’t see the smirk that danced across Tom’s lips. He thrust the toy inside you causing you to cry out in pleasure. Every time he pulled it away and the small part left your clit, you wanted to beg him to put it back. He always did. His thrusts were slow but rough, pounding the toy inside you so it hit the right spots each time.
When you could feel yourself getting close to the edge, you bit your lip to stop yourself from saying something you might regret. Tom noticed.
“Wanna hear you say it,” he muttered, pulling the toy away from where you wanted it most. You forced your eyes open to see Tom was biting his lower lip. His pupils were still blown, but his expression was soft, almost vulnerable. How was he the vulnerable one right then?
You knew what he wanted, and when he pushed the toy back inside you, his name fell from your lips. With a few more thrusts, you were cumming. You grabbed Tom’s hand and forced him to keep the toy in place, the vibrations destroying your clit in the best way possible. Your moans were so wrecked, and the way you called Tom’s name like a prayer made his already hard dick throb in his sweats.
When he pulled the toy out of you, he noticed the way your pussy clenched around nothing. He shut the toy off, and you kept your eyes closed, trying to catch your breath. You were so focused on coming down from your high that you shrieked when you felt Tom’s mouth on your core. “Tommy,” you moaned, gripping his hair in your hands. He lapped up your cunt, savoring each drop of your cum like he wouldn’t let any of it go to waste. He could tell by how you wanted him to use the toy that you needed clit stimulation, so he gave you that. He rolled your clit with his tongue, pressing down on it with just the right amount of pressure. Your thighs started squeezing his head, but he held them apart, growling in warning against your cunt. You cried out, begging him for something you couldn’t quite word. Whatever it was, he somehow knew, because he had you cumming again in just the right number of minutes. He let you savor it; he didn’t rush it.
You looked down at him when he pulled away, and you noticed his lips were coated in your orgasm. You smiled in embarrassment as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He surprised you when he started kissing up your body. His lips stopped at your jaw, and he pulled back to look in your eyes. You stared at each other for a few moments before you both moved a fraction closer to each other to close the space between you in a kiss. It wasn’t as desperate and needy as you expected it to be, and you hoped and prayed that this meant something to Tom like it did to you. He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to yours. “You say the word and I’m done,” he said. “No pressure. No obligation. No-“
You cut him off. “Fuck me, Tom.” The corner of his lip raised into his cheeky smirk, and he kissed you again. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t surprised by the affectionate action, but you loved it. You kissed him back, wrapping your legs around his waist and rubbing your core against the bulge in his pants. You gripped his t-shirt in your fists and tugged it up his body until he pulled away and yanked it over his head, tossing it to the side. He sat back on his heels and tugged his sweats and boxers down at the same time, moving around to take them off completely. His dick was even better than you imagined it might be. He was the perfect length, and he was thick, the tip red and already leaking precum.
“Shit,” Tom muttered. “Do you have a condom?”
You sighed. “No.”
“Alright,” he said. “I’ve got some in my room.”
“Mm, okay,” you hummed, pressing your thighs together. “Hurry back.” You moved your hand slowly down your stomach, then traced up and down your thighs. You swore you’d never seen someone move as quickly as Tom did then, jumping off your bed and rushing out the door. When he came back, he already had the condom packet open, which made you giggle. He grinned and got back on the bed, rolling the condom on his length with a satisfied sigh. You thought he would push into you right away, but instead, he brought his lips down to yours again. He didn’t quite let them press together, just hovered over your lips before kissing across your cheek and to your ear.
“Tell me, love,” he said. “What do you think about when you think of me?”
Your breath caught in your throat as he lined himself up, letting the tip of his cock brush against your clit. “Ah, fuck,” you breathed out. “Hard and fast. Choking me. Pulling my hair. Fuck-” Tom thrust into you without warning, giving you no time to adjust before pounding into you. He watched your eyes roll to the back of your head as your mouth gaped open. Your head almost hit the headboard with the force he was fucking you, and the room was full of your moans and slapping skin.
Tom surprised you when he pulled out of you so he could turn you over and slam into you from behind. He pulled you up by your hair so your back was arched, and you cried out in pleasure. “Yes,” you screamed. “Just like that, Tom. Fuck!” He pulled you up even more so your back was flush to his chest, and he moved his hand from your hair to your throat.
Again, better than you imagined.
He cut off your airflow just enough to make your head feel hazy. “You like that?” he muttered in your ear. “Fuck, you’re squeezing my cock so tight, you must love it.”
“Tom,” you gasped out.
“You gonna cum for me, darling?” he asked. You nodded as much as you could, and Tom pressed a little tighter against your neck. “Cum for me. Cum all over my cock.” You moaned, your voice cracking as you did so. “Fuck, yes,” Tom said as you milked his cock. “‘M gonna cum. Oh fuck.” With a few more thrusts, Tom spilled into the condom, his hips stuttering as he finished. He pulled out of you as you collapsed onto the bed with a sigh. You laid in bed, your eyes closed, as Tom fell beside you. He took off the condom and tied it off before throwing it in the trash beside your bed. You were both breathing heavily, and neither of you knew what to say or who should speak first.
“Wow,” you finally said.
Tom chuckled. “Yeah. Wow.” You turned your head to look at him, and he did the same. Tom licked his lips and darted his eyes between yours. “So, what, um-” He hesitated. “What do we do now?” You swallowed thickly and stared up at the ceiling again. This was it. This was when you had to lie and say it was just sex, because you were sure that was what he would want.
Tom seemed to read your mind. “Maybe this isn’t the right time to say this,” he said, “but I really like you, (Y/N).” You looked at him again and saw how small and nervous his smile was. “You’re my best friend, but, but I’ve felt more than best friend feelings for you for a long time now.” You turned on your side and faced him.
“Really?” you asked, reaching over to stroke his cheek with the back of your hand.
He chuckled and mirrored your position. “Yeah, love. Really.” You smiled and leaned over, pressing a kiss to his lips. When you pulled away, you were still smiling.
“I feel the same,” you said. He smiled and turned you over so you were on your back and he was hovering over you again. He peppered kisses all over your face until you were a giggling mess under him. “You’re so weird,” you said. “How can you go from choking me to this in a matter of minutes?” Tom’s expression shifted a bit, and he brushed his fingers lightly across your neck.
“That was okay?” he asked.
“Mhm,” you hummed. “More than okay.” You tangled your fingers in his hair and pulled him close to you again. “Just so you’re prepared, my sex drive after shark week is always crazy high. And choking-” You brushed your lips across his. “-that’s just the beginning of what I’m into.”
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The Accidental Family - Chapter 4
Henry Cavill x OFC - multi-chapter
< Chap 3 | Chap 4 The First Date night | Chap 5 >
Disclaimer: fluff, mild smuttiness, some strong language
Word count: 2.303
Author’s note: I had so much food the past couple of days 😂So yea, despite the Christmas days having been weird at best, me and my bf had quite a bit of fun - and a whole lot of romantic dinners to kill the time. And ..now we’re talking romantic dinners..
(Link to my Masterlist)
--
‘Black or purple, what do you think?’ Henry held up the two ties before Kal, the dog tilting his head left and right, as if deciding which one was better. The answer was apparently quite simple according to Henry’s dog; with an excited huff the Akita jumped right up in Henry’s face, licking him all over.
‘Yea, yea, hahahah - that’s the goal. Hahahah. You got me there. So..no tie, then?’ He pushed the dog back down and ruffled him through his thick fur. Kal borked softly and Henry agreed. ‘Very well, a little less formal is probably better, you’re right. We’re having a date at home, anyways.’
Henry breathed in deeply and looked in the direction of the kitchen, his stew simmering on a low fire as he heard Phoebe rummage upstairs, some closet cabinets opening and closing in a mildly hasty manner.
With Henry still in full recovery, it was decided that it would be best to just stick to a cute home dinner for their first dinner date since his memory loss - just to avoid any overzealous fans that would disturb him in a restaurant after the news had been released that he had suffered a serious head injury in a motorcycle accident.
The accident had left many scars. Both physical and mental. It was weird to be here at home now more people lived here, the kids on a prolonged stay with the grandparents while Henry and his wife recuperated from the shake-up his - their - life had had.
In the past days Henry had seen about every specialist and doctor in the book. He went from lengthy couch sessions with a psychologist - the story of the introduction of his kids having been received with mild horror - to the keeping of sleep and medication schedules with his doctor to make sure he got enough recovery and rest in between re-learning the basics of his new life.
The fact that a good many people surviving such head trauma would never be the same, troubled Henry greatly, and so whenever he was allowed to search the internet, which was sparingly, he scoured it like a starved man, the printer in the living room doing over-time to print all the articles and research he had found.
But, all that research would have to wait for the moment. First he’d have to get reacquainted with another part of his life: his wife. And even now as he heard her rummage around the master bedroom, he couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter with nerves.
What if she didn’t like the new Henry? What if he couldn’t fall in love with her. Or the sex would be awful, or..
NO! Stop those thoughts.
Looking back in the hallway mirror, he unbuttoned his blouse a little further, a little peek of chest hair popping out over the sleek white fabric.
‘Button up or down?’ Henry looked over at Kal, but the dog thought his human dad was being ridiculous, his body turning around to trod back to the kitchen to slobber up some water.
‘..Very well then.’
--
It was near surprising how easy dinner went by. Which of course, shouldn’t be too much of a surprise; Henry and Phoebe had several dinners at home before this one, though they never had been quite so romantic. Henry had turned the lights down low and lit some candles, the kitchen radio playing some soft jazzy music playing in the background.
With dinner over and the dirty plates returned to the dishwasher - the dance of moving around the kitchen together now quite well practised, they ended up on the couch, the both of them sipping on some tea, since it was strongly advised not to consume alcohol after Henry’s brain injury.
‘So...’ Henry finished the last sip of his tea and placed it on the side table next to his right elbow, his blue eyes searching for his wife’s slightly dazed expression - she did have a wine or two with his stew.
‘Hmm?’
‘Are you falling asleep on me, wife?’
‘Hahaha you wish.’
‘I do wish.’
‘Oh stop it!’ Her cheeks burned a bright pink, making Henry chuckle - at least he still got some of his charms.
‘I WAS actually wondering about what you mentioned earlier. When I asked you on this date..remember?’
‘Yea…’ She lifted her legs and crossed them, snuggling herself more comfortable in her nook on the couch, lips blowing over her slowly cooling tea.
‘What did you mean by “we never really dated”?’ Henry quoted the last words with his fingers.
‘Oh!’ She quickly looked away, her hands deciding it was best to put her tea away on the side table on her side of the couch. ‘Yea….’ She looked back at Henry. ‘That’s a funny story..’
‘Mmm?’
‘Okay, okay. So, I’m just curious. How do you think we met?’ Her eyebrows rose in expectation, her body fully turning towards him, legs still crossed before her chest. Henry also turned slightly, his arm stretching out over the back of the couch, his fingertips just about able to reach her knees.
‘Hmm. I’ve actually thought about that. Though of course I don’t know. But ehh..’ He squinted his eyes a little, as if playfully wanting to guess. ‘I think I met you on set.’
‘How’s that?’
‘I don’t know. Just a feeling.’
‘Well. It’s not. Try again.’
‘Okay..Ehm, then I totally met you at the grocery store and hit on you so hard that you thought I was some weird creep?’
She laughed. ‘That has happened. Not with you though.’
‘Shame.’
Phoebe laughed and shook her head. ‘Dork.’
‘OH! A comic book store?! A Comic Con? A..’
‘No, and.. no.’
‘Alright, I don’t know. Spill the beans, wife-dear.’
She shot him an exasperated look, before clicking her tongue. ‘We shagged at an after party.’
Henry’s face blanked. ‘I’m sorry, say that again: AT an after party?’
‘Yea..we definitely did it AT the after party.’
‘Was I drunk?’
Phoebe laughed. ‘Shit Henry. Of course we were. We both were. I wouldn’t for the life of me shag anyone on any party, but there we were, fumbling hands and tearing expensive dress shirts in a toilet stall.’
Henry’s eyes widened at her words.
‘Yea..classy, right? And you left me a little present too.’
‘We’re not talking about just a phone number here, huh?’
‘Nope. You knocked me up with our ray of sunshine, Sam. Funny thing was that I lost my phone that night, and with it your number. I then contacted your assistant, Aunt Lea, whom TOTALLY didn’t believe you’d do anything of the sort, so it took me a good three months to get in contact with you.’
‘Holy crap.’
Phoebe sighed deeply and turned away again, as if wishing to shut out Henry from her thoughts. ‘Yea, it’s been a wild ride.’
‘Wait.’ Henry pushed himself a little closer so he could brush a hand over her shoulder, his eyes searching the curve of her nose and the pull of her lips. ‘Do you regret it? It’s okay if you do. I mean, we’re all out, bums out - besides I can’t remember a thing of the things you just said.’
Phoebe shook her head. ‘No.’ She finally looked back up at Henry, her eyes a lot more warm and welcoming than he had expected. ‘I was already smitten with you before I rang this doorbell to give you the happy news you were about to become a dad...and I’d have kept sweetheart Sam either way the wind would have blown.’
‘Sam..Fixing his dad and all.’ Henry smiled.
‘Gods.’ Phoebe chuckled. ‘That was bad.’
‘Kinda. I’ll need some help with managing that rowdy bunch.’ Henry sighed, feeling Phoebe’s hand reaching out to brush through his curls again - he liked it.
‘I had a good night.’ She said.
Henry looked at her and instantly felt his heart flutter, his stomach dropping and palms going sweaty. It was quite obvious that IF he wanted to make a move, he’d have to do it now. And so, with perhaps a bit too awkward a hastiness, he scooted closer to Phoebe, his black burning eyes staring down into her expecting dark blues.
‘I liked it too. I like YOU..too.’ He breathed, making her eyes also grow darker by the second.
‘Good,’ She whispered, switching her focus between his left and right eye, noses slowly crawling closer to one another until their lips were but a breath away from touching.
‘Can I kiss y..-?’
His words lingered somewhere in between the crashing of their two bodies, Phoebe’s arms eagerly pulling him towards her, her lips savouring the taste of mint tea and musk on his tongue. And as eagerly as they started, so eagerly it to-tal-ly escalated. In moments Henry had flipped her flat onto the couch, his hands scorching the skin on her neck and chest, fingertips teasing and touching whatever piece of flesh her simple black dress revealed.
‘FUCK.’ She whined, turning her head to offer him more neck for him to bite down into.
Henry growled and lowered his hip, making her feel the eagerness he felt in the tightness of his dress pants, the fabric strained around his crotch.
‘Oh gods,’ Her breath hiccuped and were it not for Henry’s attentiveness, he wouldn’t have picked up on the tears that had started to spill from her eyes, his body immediately pushing back up before he wiped the stray hairs in her face away, worried eyes studying her trembling lips and blurry gaze.
‘I-I’m so sorry.’ She mumbled, turning her head into the couch pillow, wishing to hide from his penetrative gaze.
‘No, no. It’s okay. Sshhh.’ He sat up on his haunches and pulled her with ease onto his lap, his chin pressing down onto her head as she cried into the open V of his shirt, his chest hair wetting with her agony - yep he kept it buttoned down. ‘Sshhh.’ He hushed, pressing more and more kisses into her golden hair. ‘I’ve got you.’
‘I’ve missed you so much.’ She whimpered, and it was in that moment Henry hated himself for the way his erection twitched beneath the plush of her thighs, his mind having to focus on anything but her scent and warmth - and failed. Henry failed miserably, Bee’s head starting to shake “no” as she pushed herself off his lap.
‘Fwooo…’ She breathed, focusing on slowing her breath before she looked back at Henry with watery eyes, their bodies separated by the magic of opposing magnetic energy; if Henry tried to come closer, she leaned back and vice versa.
‘Maybe we should give THAT a little more time.’ She chuckled through her tears, the back of her hand wiping away the smudge of mascara that was running down her cheek.
‘I’m sorry about that.’ Henry muttered, feeling like he had failed completely, though thankfully Phoebe could only see the hilarity of it:
‘Guess nothing much has changed in that department.’ She sighed and turned her body back towards him. ‘Is it okay if we sleep apart for a little bit? Just to..-’
‘Calm down?’
‘Yea.’ Her lips curled in a smile.
‘I’m not really used to sleeping with women on the first date anyways.’
Phoebe laughed, poking him in the bicep. ‘OH PLEASE, don’t tell me I was the only one you ever..’
Henry laughed along and shrugged with boyish innocence: ‘Can’t remember, but from what I know, I ...never..’
‘Will you go on another date with me though?’
Henry let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He was pleased with her gentle plea, his hand catching hers to press a sweet and tender promise of a kiss onto the back of her hand. ‘Absolutely.’
--
That night Henry found himself bunking up with a bed full of stuffies, the bed of his 4-year old the only one he could somewhat fit into.
Turning towards the stuffies, he remembered the notes his wife had given him in the past days: Sam had a stuffy named Mr. Stinky, which he had left behind to watch over his other friends while he was away.
Henry studied the line up of rabbits, elephants, bears and foxes. Which one was Stinky anyways? His wife had said it in between a avalanche of other information, so Henry hadn’t quite managed to catch on like he so wished.
‘Oh..There’s a LOT to learn huh..Mr Stinky? Or ..were you Mr Stinky?’ He looked from stuffy to stuffy, the large beady eyes looking back at him in silence. With a slight smirk on his face Henry pushed his nose into their fluffy bellies, inhaling deeply to find out which one would be Mr. Stinky. But, apparently it was just a name; they all smelled fine.
Rolling onto his back, he switched off the Mario mushroom shaped night light, the ceiling above glowing up with a hundred small stars that had been put up to keep the nightmares at bay.
‘Woa..’ He breathed, feeling his heart flip at the idea that everything about this was real. He had kids. He had..a wife. A family life. And now all he needed to learn was how to fit into his new role. This new ..Henry. And, for the fuck of sakes: if he wasn’t going to jerk off soon, he’d jump his wife before the night was through. It was quite clear how they had never made it to a first date; she simply made his heart and loin ache in a way he had never quite felt before.
Sighing deeply he looked back at the dark row of judgmental beady eyes next to him. He chuckled.
‘Yea...let’s not do that here.’
--
Chap 5 >
--
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#henry cavill fanfiction#henry cavill fluff#henry cavill x ofc#memory loss#the accidental family#date night#mild smut#only mild#more like a tiny smidge#but more to come later
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Euarthropoda
By Hale13
For the Summer of Whump Day 9 - Bugs
Peter enjoys visiting Tony out at the lake house - even though his mentor insists on going hiking.
Words: 1924, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Rating: Gen
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark
TW: Light Discussion of Mental Health
Read on AO3 or below the line break.
“A hike?” Peter asked, his voice dubious and still heavy with sleep. Tony had dragged him out of bed at an ungodly hour to shove a homemade breakfast with all the fixings down his throat before their supposed foray into the ‘great outdoors’.
“A hike,” his mentor confirmed, putting an ungodly amount of ketchup and sriracha on his omelet, making Peter crinkle his nose in disgust. “Eat up! We want to get out there early so we aren’t out in the hottest part of the day.”
“Maybe you haven’t noticed,” Peter pointed out, talking around a mouthful of hash browns with grilled onions – it still blew him away that the Tony Stark he remembered severely burnt or set everything on fire before the Snap but now was perfectly capable of cooking a delicious meal. Wild. “But neither of us is what one might call ‘outdoorsy’,” Peter pointed out, air quotes included, adding another mound of bacon and sausage to his plate when Tony nudged the platter closer.
“Sure we are!” Tony protested. “You spend most of your day outside and I live at a lake house.”
“First of all,” Peter said imperiously, using his fork to point at this mentor and speaking with his mouth full. “Living at a lake house doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly a skilled outdoorsman. It just means that you have money. And second,” Peter continued, speaking louder over Tony’s spluttering, “I spend no time outside at all whatsoever.”
“Lies and slander,” Tony argued. “I’ve seen the logs for your suit so I know just how much you aren’t in your apartment no matter what you tell May.”
Peter threw his arms up in indignation. “Time in the suit does not equate to time spent in the wilderness! It’s climate controlled for fuck’s sake.”
“Language,” Tony admonished with a glance toward the stairs. Morgan had a penchant for creeping around to eavesdrop and had picked up lots of new… vocabulary… that she was all too pleased to teach her multitude of friends at school much to her teacher’s anger, Pepper’s embarrassed rage and Tony’s chagrin. Peter just rolled his eyes – he had super hearing, he would know if Morgan was creeping up on them. “Finish your breakfast.”
“Ugh,” Peter groaned but gave in. He knew a losing battle when he saw one – he was pretty stubborn but, if anyone could beat him out, it was Tony Stark. “Where are we even going?”
“Just around the lake,” Tony answered, spreading Nutella liberally on his toast. “It’s a few miles and I realized I hadn’t shown you the trails yet.”
Peter hummed and looked out the window where the watery light from the early morning sun was cascading over the kitchen and leaving long shadows. It was so much quieter here than the city, the only noise coming from the birds and the gentle lapping of the water from the lake onto the shore. It really was a beautiful place and, despite his verbal protests, Peter actually wasn’t that upset about spending a quiet morning walking around the shore of the lake and relaxing – it had been a rough week of Spider-Manning and he was ready for a break.
“Pete?” Tony asked, pulling him from his musings. “We don’t actually have to go if you really don’t want to. You know that right?”
“I know,” Peter reassured him. “I think I do want to.” Tony gave him a bright smile before grabbing his empty plate to put in the dishwasher.
“Go get changed,” the man said. “I’ll meet you by the dock in a few minutes once I get this put away,” he gestured to the few dirty dishes left on the table, completely empty due to Peter’s voracious metabolism.
“Sure,” Peter agreed. “I’ll do my best not to wake up Mo.”
“Oh God,” Tony groaned. “Please do. We’ll never get out of here if she wakes up.”
Peter laughed, leaving the kitchen to climb up the stairs and enter his room. It was supposed to be a warm day so he pulled on a pair of shorts and a worn out tank top along with a pair of beat up sneakers. Tony was already down by the dock when Peter made his way outside, stretching out his calves, two HydroFlasks sitting in the dirt next to him.
“Ready?” Tony asked, tossing him a bottle which Peter caught easily.
“Yep,” he agreed, stretching his own arms over his head to pop his back and release the tension in his shoulders that was a constant from all of his web-slinging. Tony set an easy pace, following the dirt trail around the lake and Peter fell into step next to him, their conversation light and lulling into comfortable silence in some places as they hiked, just taking in the scenery.
The area truly was stunning; an uncovered gem that Tony had been lucky to find. Land like this didn’t sit around unoccupied for long in the upstate area and Peter could see himself – one da, hopefully – retiring somewhere similar. Maybe Tony would let him build a house out here someday, he was certainly developing a taste for peace and quiet.
“May said you’d had a tough week,” Tony finally brought up lightly, confirming Peter’s suspicions for the alone time away from curious and meddling ears. The two were the absolute worst gossips at their bi-weekly co-parenting lunches – Peter was just lucky Happy hadn’t started joining them since he and May had started dating. Peter wouldn’t get away with anything if all three of them were involved.
Peter mulled the question over for a few minutes before shrugging, deciding to try for nonchalant. “It wasn’t great but I’m okay,” he finally conceded, voice carefully light.
“You can talk to me Webs,” Tony said carefully, his tone neutral. “If anyone knows what this business is like its me.”
They continued in silence for a minute more before Peter stopped in the path and leaned against one of the trees overlooking the lake, watching a Great Blue Heron wade in the shallows a few hundred feet from them pursuing its next meal. “I lost somebody,” he ground out. “I was right there and I’d already webbed up the bad guy but I guess one of his arms was free enough to still aim and fire his gun and…” Peter sniffed, eyes dry but stinging.
Tony sighed but didn’t offer any platitudes. “It sucks and it’s not fair,” he agreed, reaching out a hand to squeeze Peter’s shoulder quickly in solidarity. “And its going to happen again; all that matters is how you handle it. How are you handling it?”
“Mostly by punching a brick wall until I break my knuckles,” Peter admitted, carefully not looking at his mentor’s facial expression which he knew would be disapproving – Tony wasn’t really a fan of Peter’s penchant for using pain and violence to work through his emotions. He held up his right hand though, allowing the man to inspect the unmarred skin and healed bones without protest knowing he would be fighting a losing battle.
“I think we should talk about healthy coping mechanisms again,” Tony joked without humor. “Because this isn’t it.”
“I know,” Peter admitted.
“You give any more thought to my offer?” And Peter had. After the ‘Blip’ both Tony and May had tried to talk Peter into seeing one of the therapists the Avengers had on retainer. His identity would remain secure and he could vent and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Work through some of the issues he knew that he was repressing. Figure out how to deal with the PTSD WebMD told him he had. He had refused them a couple times over the months he had been back but now…
“I‘ve thought about it,” he admitted.
“And?” Tony asked, voice patient but with a hopeful undercurrent he couldn’t quite hide.
“I’ll try it,” Peter agreed, grunting in surprise when Tony pulled him into a firm hug that Peter leaned into, returning it with equal force and closing his eyes to rest his forehead on Tony’s flesh shoulder, tension he didn’t know he was carrying releasing from his muscles.
“I’m so proud of you kiddo,” the man whispered into his ear and Peter felt a watery smile pull up his cheekbones.
“Thanks,” he said as he pulled back to meet Tony’s eyes only for his mentor to be looking at Peter’s shoulder instead of his face. Peter knit his brows in confusion. “Tony?”
“Hold still Pete,” he said, gesturing to Peter’s shoulder. “Got a little wolf spider on you. I’ll get it.”
“A WHAT!” Peter screeched, jumping backwards and yanking his tank top off, ripping it to shreds and tossing it before running his hands over his arms, hair standing on end and skin crawling like he was covered in bugs.
“Uh,” Tony said, looking caught between laughter and confusion. “You okay bud?”
“I HATE spiders,” Peter said, shuddering and climbing halfway up the tree behind him to get away from his shirt on the ground and the arachnid that may still be in it. He was taking no chances. “Aren’t you going to kill it?”
“Kill it?” Tony asked faintly before letting out a snort. “Hate to break it to you Pete, but we’re in his territory not the other way around.”
“He lost the chance to live when he climbed on me,” Peter spat out venomously, eyes still locked on the shirt. He wasn’t letting the little bastard escape. “Can you please just kill it?”
“Pretty sure you flung him halfway to the city already,” Tony choked out around his laughter, picking up Peter’s discarded shirt and shaking it out to check it. “Think your shirt is toast.”
“You’re sure its gone?” Peter asked suspiciously, still perched on the trunk of the tree and feeling over his arms to make sure it wasn’t still on him.
“Yes Peter, Christ. Can you get down from there?” Peter narrowed his eyes but dropped back to the ground, scanning the area nervously. His Spidey sense was tingling uncomfortably from the adrenaline that was working its way through his system. Tony looked him over for a second to make sure he was okay before letting out a snort and then bursting into laughter. “Spider-Man afraid of spiders. Oh this is good!”
“Yeah yeah,” Peter grumbled, crossing his arms over his bare chest and feeling his cheeks heat up. “Laugh it up.”
“Aw its okay buddy!” Tony said, draping his arm around Peter’s shoulders and pulling him back down the path toward the cabin. “We all have at least one irrational fear. Say,” he said, voice teasing, “does May kill them all for you at home?”
“Hell no!” Peter said, shaking his head. “She’s worse than me – Ben always had to handle the various vermin that would come in the apartment uninvited.”
“So what do you two do? Go ask a neighbor?” Tony teased, lightly elbowing Peter in the ribs and causing him to scowl. “Scream until someone comes running? Call Happy?”
“We just… leave. You know, let it do it’s thing. Then we come home and are just really uncomfortable for a few days,” he said squirming a little in discomfort at the thought.
Tony let out a bark of bright laughter, pulling Peter into a side hug. “We can work on something to help you with that later in the lab I think.”
“Please,” Peter agreed in pure relief, following along back towards the house and keeping a weary eye on his surroundings… just in case.
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Spiral of Feelings - 1/5
Pairing: Bucky x Reader AU: Fake Dating AU Description: Natasha makes you feel bad about being single and how your apartment looks. Sam and Steve annoy Bucky about dating. Seems only fair that you both fake it to show them that it doesn’t make a difference. But what if it does? Warnings: Judgemental friends, shaming for being single. Absolutely not proofread and written half a year ago, lol.
Masterlist // Spiral of Feelings Masterlist
“God, you really need to get your life together, honey!” Natasha said with a judging face at you and then your giant pile of laundry and trash. “Nat! I live how I want and right now I have enough to do at the compound!” You said with your hands on your hips. “If you wouldn’t procrastinate either so much you might even have free time.” She smirked. “Why do you have to be so nosy about it?” “Don’t know, but I feel like you need a relationship to get the personal part of your life back on track again. Your own motivation doesn’t seem to be enough.” She chuckled and you gaped at her offended. She knew why you weren’t dating. You wanted to concentrate on your career and your evening Netflix ritual. That just came with less housework getting done. “Buck! You need to get outside of this apartment more and actually live like a normal human being would!” Steve looked at him with a frown. “Steve, I genuinely couldn’t care less about 90% of people out there compared to the ones in my books and the ones I met online. Let me be,” he grumbled back. “C’mon, you need to at least TRY to get a girl again, doesn’t need to be a relationship.” Sam raised a brow. “And I’d like to not listen to your advice for the rest of my life but here we are.” “Bucky? At least try to...I don’t know, find a girl online and meet up with her?” He suggested. “Do you leave me alone if I have a goddamn date?” Bucky dipped his head to the side. “Yeah.” Both of them rolled their eyes. “Okay, I’ll do that so you idiots stop being so nosy.” He nodded and the two men were at least a little bit relaxed about their friend after that. If he was going to do it this time? They were kinda sure he wouldn’t.
“Stop constantly telling me I need a date like we don’t live in a world where girls can be happy and single,” you grumbled and peaked Bucky’s attention. “I’m just saying, your life might be more balanced that way.” Nat shrugged. She was on this weird trip for a while now after reading some books on relationships and dating more herself. “You constantly reminding me of being single makes me feel more like I’m lesser than anyone just cause I don’t juggle my household stuff perfectly. It’s fucking disrespectful,” you hissed and Bucky stepped in. “What’s going on here?” He looked between the both of you a few times. “Nothing,” Nat mumbled and went to the common room while you needed to calm down from being so provocated by her. “Hey, you okay?” Bucky looked down at you. “Yeah, just sick of friends constantly telling me I need a relationship for everything to be better. That’s bullshit,” you mumbled. “I feel you. Steve and Sam are the most annoying idiots ever about it.” He rolled his eyes. “Oh?” You looked up. “What?” He smirked. You dragged him into your apartment in the compound. “Ignore the mess and listen to my idea,” You looked at him in the middle of your apartment. He couldn’t not look, so he eyed your pile of laundry and grinned internally. “We could fake date and silence them all. Show them it doesn’t make a damn difference. Dumb idea, but might work. Unless that stuff makes you uncomfortable. Just a random thought.” He thought about it for a moment, internally playing all the scenarios and if Steve would believe him, “That could actually work. Maybe they finally shut up for once.” “You gonna take me out on a ‘date’?” You asked making air quotes. “Is that code for going to Waffle House without the others?” He grinned and you nodded. “You can bet it is.” ******* “You joining movie night later?” Wanda asked while emptying the dishwasher. “Nah, I’m out with Bucky,” you said as nonchalantly as possible. “Oh? Like a date or…?” She smiled softly. “I think, yeah,” you said looking down to the counter. “Cute, where are you going?” “I have no idea. He just said it’s going to be sweet food.” you shrugged like you didn’t know a thing. “I’m so happy for you.” She grinned before hugging you. “Thanks, Wan.” “Are you ready, darling?” He asked knocking at your door. Having acting skills for missions was finally helping in actual life. “One second!” You called out while grabbing your jacket and gum. You opened the door and didn’t expect him to stand so close in front of it and almost ran into him. “You ready for unhealthy amounts of food?” He grinned down and winked before grabbing your hand while you walked past the common area. “Have fun!” Wanda yelled out. “God, finally nobody bothering me anymore.” You breathed out and heard a chuckle. “I’m not bothering you?” “Not when there is food and jokes involved.” You grinned up at him, not letting go of his hand. You really enjoyed the whole hand-holding part and not freezing to death in the fall temperatures that were slowly declining. “Already having a plan what you want?” “Caramel, cinnamon & marshmallows.” You smiled content. “Sounds like a plan, darling.” He let go of your hand and put an arm around you while walking into the place. “And while we’re here we can plot all of this out, right? Needs to work so they get off my ass.” You chuckled before both of you ordered your food. “Tons of cute pictures on our dates and around our apartments.” He deadpanned and referred to the new standards couples had nowadays. “And little videos,” you giggled while filming your food and then up at him and capturing him smiling and shaking his head with a huff. “Nicknames?” You asked after putting your phone to the side. “Hm, maybe...Darling? Sugar? Doll? Princess?” He started counting. You shivered, “Please don’t call me doll, I connect too many bad things to that from other languages.” He nodded, understanding that it sounded like a sexist insult in a lot of other languages. “And for you? Honey? Cinnamon? Muffin? Bucky Bear?” You grinned and got another one of his headshake smiles. “Why are all of them food except for one?” He squinted with a shimmer in his eyes. “Cause you’re a snack?” You said snorting at your own joke. “Guess I’ll have to accept that.” He grinned with a shrug. “Yeah, those were the only non-sexual ones that I could come up with, so you’ll have to live with them.” “So…” He got your attention again, “How are we going to do this?” “I don’t know. Just be close together when we are around them, a few kisses and pet names here and there, at some point starting to sleep in each other’s apartment. Stuff like that. It’s just to prove them wrong. Maybe a month or two?” you suggested to him and it hit him that he would have to kiss you and maybe that hit him a little different to how he expected it. “Yeah, okay, sounds reasonable,” he mumbled before digging back into his food, just to be attacked with your phone taking pictures. “At least come over here and take actual selfies with me, you little shit.” He grinned and you did as he suggested. Smiling, grimaces, cuddly, kiss on the cheek. “Hmm, gonna edit these and send them to you so you can make them your phone background.” You hummed with a smile down at them, not really realizing that he was still smiling at you.
#mine#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#james barnes#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky x y/n#the winter soldier#text#captain america#mcu#marvel#marvel cinematic universe#bucky fanfic#fake dating AU#modern!bucky#agent!reader#agent x bucky#bucky x agent
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Well
Welp, feeling like doing an update because there's been a lot going on to be honest. its one of those weird dichotomies where every day feels like an eternity and there's so much going on and then you look back and you're like oh, ok its just my brain making it difficult and making things take forever but anyway.
LOCKDOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNNNN
Lockdown life was good, apart from being thrust into it so suddenly dave left a banana on his desk. Wasn't great to come back to after 5 weeks out of the office - mummified mouldy banana!! Classic. We luckily got our first jab before lockdown started so that was good, and we were reasonably well stocked up on food and were generally a lot healthier this lockdown that last. honestly, there's a level of chill and serenity in lockdown that i just love. the ability to set my own schedule and only work the hours I actually work to get the job done? Amazing. getting 8.5 hours of sleep each night without having to wake to an alarm blaring? AMAZING. getting to go for walks every afternoon? SO FLIPPING GOOD. I love it so much, I really really do. I need this to be my life permanently.
WORK
Work is just ongoing and draining and honestly, coming back to the office was so fucking stressful and it was only one day. Being at home is just the fucking bomb. Pending home decisions, I wanna go contracting I think, but also ideally two part time contracts to have more flexibility? I dunno. You'd think a big 4 would provide variety but it really doesn't and honestly, with Richie leaving, wellington is just a sinking ship. Sean's off on parental leave, Kirstyn is down to four days a week, ben will be gone if he doesn't get promoted (and I don't think he will be tbh). Jack is just muddling along, Nigel wants to swap to consulting as well, Matt's going to be a shit leader in terms of bringing in work so it's just not going to work. and in our wider group it's going to get even more messy with heaps of the analysts leaving and a couple of senior hires too. so I think it's probably time to jump ship in general, pending the home stuff below. Also, coming back after a break again, I'm like, I don't actually like a lot of you? All the people I enjoy here are in other teams and groups, and I'll be sad to leave you all, but like, not enough to stay anyway lol.
Pending the home below, two options are to just going and get a job with a $30k payrise to make up for the maternity leave benefits I'm gunna leave behind when I leave this role - 18 weeks full pay, $100 a week for the first year back and a full year of maternity leave. It's basically 30k post tax which is a bit nuts to walk away from to be honest.
Otherwise the other option is to go contracting. Less security overall but holy shit so much money. If I went in as a project coordinator at the lowest rate to build up a bit of a portfolio I'd need to work 40 weeks of 40 hr weeks and Id basically match my current salary plus the lost family leave benefits and still qualify for govt maternity leave payments. Realistically I could go in as a project manager for $140 an hour ($60 more an hour than the above math) and absolutely smash it at that level as well so ya know, there's a bunch of other info. I like the idea of the flexibility of it and only having 6 months even if its a shitshow and beign able to walk away at the end of it. I really don't want to get a govt job and this is a v govt town which is fine but also, if I can avoid it that would be great. I just know I'm not gunna thrive in that environment.
Need to talk to Dave to get him across the line on the security issue part of that though. I've mostly come a long way in terms of my financial management (thanks YNAB) so I think he'd be ok with it mostly.
So there's a lot to toss up there because......
HOME
We got the reno plans done during lockdown, finally. which was super good. but holy fkn jesus $$$$$$ ++++++++++. The guy is coming around for the final quote on Thursday. We indicatively said $100k total because we're doing kitchen laundry bathroom and toilet. so only the most expensive rooms and when I was talking to him last week he said 'that might cover it' and they're seeing cost escalations of 7-10% a week which is just insane. we're not doing anything structural apart from putting in a cavity slider in the bathroom, and the quote they'll give us won't include flooring since they won't do it.
Meanwhile, the prefab homes I were looking at for our site were $425k fully done. Like, I'm not going to spend $130K on doing up my 1940s ex state house ya know? That's not good cost benefit ratio.
So depending on what that comes out at on thursday we'll be able to make some plans.
We also want to start trying for kids next year and need these renos done first - I am not having kids and no dishwasher lol.
Also we need bank financing so good to be in a permanent stable job for that application. the good thing is we have so much equity we know we can borrow whatever we need, I just don't want to spend that much money on it because it's fkn ridiculous. and if I'm going on maternity leave we need to be able to cover it all on dave's salary and whatever benefits I have as well so there;s a lot of financial planning and spreadsheeting going on at the moment lol. it's fab.
either way. we've got plenty of options up our sleeve. we've got friends who's brother owns a building company so we can talk to them, we've got the garage so we can get things prefabricated even if they're not installed til next year, Dave can get shit at cost through his work for whiteware, there;s plenty of things to like cost control we can do, we just need to know where we're starting from basically. thats the challenging part. but we'll figure it out, its just taking longer than I want it to basically.
We also planted up the vege garden for the spring/summer which was lovely, super jazzed about that. we've finally got the garden to a reasonably low maintenance level where everything is mostly under control and it's such a relief, honestly.
PERSONAL
Man what a shift to lockdown last year honestly. I think the last 8 weeks in particular has just been like, a massive reality check of how absolutely shit the last year was and how fucking glad I am to be rid of it. I spent a week absolutely spiralling 2 weeks ago now and honestly, I don't know how I lived in the state for more than a year. I actually don't know how I did it. and I could not be more glad that I'm finally on the other side of it, for the most part. There's still a bunch of other stuff to work through (hahahahahaha when is there not like damn) but fucking hell its nice to just not be anxious and nauseous and wound up constantly. life is actually accessible. miracle.
My workmate had his bebe - I went round and got newborn cuddles and was like, oh, is this what it is to be clucky? this is odd. so there's that as well. I think we'll probably start trying next year pending renos and jobs etc. If the renos can be done in jan I'll prob just stick it at the job to get the benefits but I dunno. it's a tough call to make really. we shall see. This all assumes we get knocked up without any issues which is questionable these days. I really want to feel healthier before getting pregnant as well, and part of that is losing weight. however, given discussing that is what triggered the spiral we're working on that one slowly.
Also, lets have a moment for counselling, because fkn bless anne and all her hard work honestly. I actually ended up emailing her being like, I;m losing my shit on the monday and then talked to her on thursday. And its so funny because it's such a counselling thing but I didn't realise until afterwards what she'd done but she was like you're clearly not doing well and then the night before dave got a fkn miserable migraine and he was up for like, 2 hrs powerchucking except he didn't make it to the bathroom in time so guess who was cleaning up vomit at 130am trying not to chuck herself but I digress. anyway, not doing well, couldn't even explain why, didn't even have words and super tired and she's like, what lynaire up to this week how's she going with izzy and chat about that and then be like how are you feeling about your body and then 5 more mins of chat about the cat and the chickens and then like bam hard question and then hows it going with x and y and z and its like, it wasn't til I was on my walk afterwards when I FINALLY started feeling marginally better I was like damn woman work your magic for figuring it out for me and helping me reregulate. all over the phone as well since we were still in lockdown. GREAT WORK FRIEND.
and then last week was like totally fucked theoretical discussion about religion and the role it's played in my life and fate vs free will and all this nutty shit but genuinely just a great discussion. She's the best and I love her. thank good for good counsellors. thank god I can afford to pay for it honestly.
Dave and I are just chugging along, god bless that man. I love him. its amazing. I miss having friends close by but understand why they had to move (boooooo f u house prices). Family is pretty chill, still not really talking to dave's parents which is nightmarish but we'll deal with that when we need to. gunna have to go and visit them at some point coz dave misses them and I feel for him, I really do. It's the whole boundaries renegotiation I went through with my family last year post wedding blow up and its just not a fun place to be. oh well. can't fix it for him but also I'm not putting up with that level of BS from either of our families once we have children. not gunna happen.
Either way, life is busy and full and fun and I'm enjoying it. Daylight savings starts this weekend too, its october next week WTF and I'm just waiting for 4pm to find out what's gunna happen to our girls trip. Clearly we cancelled our sept trip to christchurch and akaroa and hanmer springs so my covid travel curse continues. fkn ridic. Still dunno what we're gunna do with $2500 of flight credits coz if we get knocked up theres def no international trips happening any time soon.
thus concludes the almost 2000 word write up of life. hope you've enjoyed it. I'll throw up some pics in a separate post if people care about reno plans. such a good time!
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1273
What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for? Maybe for half an hour? Mine are never that bad.
What type of TV shows are your favourite? Not a big TV show type of person to begin with since it seems as if my attention span wasn’t built for once-a-week, season-breaks kind of content haha. I do like sitcoms, I guess...bite-sized ones like Friends, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Big Bang Theory, etc. Drama shows I’d bite into if the plot is extremely intriguing to me or relevant to my interests, like The Crown or Breaking Bad.
Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? I was before then I wasn’t for a very long time, then I came back just recently with this BTS shit I got myself into.
Do you know anyone who has died in battle? Hmm. I don’t think so. My great-grandpa lived a few more decades after the war.
When was the last time you went on an adventure? July. My friends and I spent the whole day driving around and stopping by sooo many spots around the metro. It was a lot of fun and we were fucking b e a t after.
What brand is your vacuum cleaner? I dunno. My mom mainly uses ours.
Are you good at rapping? I have a number of songs and verses memorized that I can recite quite okay, but I can’t write any of my own.
Name one world issue that upsets you. Racism.
How do you feel about tanning? I never saw the the big deal. I will say tanning beds and salons are such a culture shock to me, though. Are some people really that obsessed with modifying their skin tone?
Have you ever given a public speech? Hmm, just the one time I was entered into a public speaking competition and was given a topic to talk about on the spot. That was honestly a lot of fun and I wish there were more opportunities to do that exact same thing.
Do you read comic books? No. I tried getting into that whole thing, but didn’t see the appeal.
Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? Not always but if I’m starting to feel left out or awkward, I will start to ask a question here and there to ease my way into the conversation. But if the topic is clearly none of my business then I do stay out of the way.
Kiss with your eyes open or closed? Closed.
Do you believe you can change someone? This isn’t a black and white matter, I think. The idea of changing a person can have a lot of layers; in my org, for instance, I got to pick up a few quirks and behaviors from my friends just by being around them for a long time – in that sense, I changed. But you can also strive to change someone who’s struggling and try to make them become happy, which I tried to do with my ex – which of course I learned the hard way that you can’t change someone if in that context.
How did you react when your first pet died? I was bummed out but didn’t throw a fit.
Have you ever drawn anime? No.
Can you use a pogo stick? I’ve never even seen one in real life. I’m dying to try it out just once.
When’s the next time you’ll see the person that you like? I don’t like anybodyyy.
Do you like bathing/showering? I mean...yes? Like I’m not obsessed with showering, but it’s a necessity that I have to regularly do anyway lmao.
Have you ever considered entering a race? Sure! Just give me a couple of weeks to practice because my endurance and stamina are embarrassing.
Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Rihanna.
Who was your first good kiss with? My ex.
What accessory do you want in your bedroom? SHELVES
What do you take the most pictures of? My experiences.
What are you always in the mood for? Starbuuuuuuckssssssss.
What is something that you never turn down? A day out with friends. I’ll always make time. What is something that you always turn down when offered? Food, if I’m a guest at someone else’s place.
Name something sexy about your significant other. I don’t have any.
What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up? Surveys, I guess. I enjoy them too much and have been doing them for nearly a decade.
If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be? Tennis.
If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be? PIANO.
Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? Surgeon. I would be too terrified seeing dead people, anyway.
Have you ever been on a subway? Nope.
Are you in love? No.
Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? Sure. Softly, roughly...both are fine hahaha.
Do you want to get married when you’re older? I hope so. I want my turn, too.
What was the last band shirt you wore? Eh, I don’t own any. I wore a fanmade V-themed shirt yesterday, if that counts.
You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose? OMGGGG that sounds so fucking good rn. Chocolate chip cookie dough.
Have you ever given someone flowers? Mhm, I used to give my ex bouquets whenever it was our anniversary.
What day of the week is usually your busiest day? Monday like 98% of the time, so I hate them. It ultimately varies, though. Sometimes some days are a hell of a lot more hectic than others.
Do you have any concerts coming up? I mean...obviously not.
Do you like or hate the smell of fish? Oh yessssssss. The smell of seafood/ocean always makes me fucking drool.
What’s your favorite brand of chips? Pringles, or this local brand of salted egg chips that I love to get.
Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? Yeah, once. We had to write a poem as our homework and my teacher picked out a couple that he thought were the best-written, and one of them was mine even though I still firmly believe I did a shit job.
Do you like pineapple? Oh god no. One of the worse fruits I’ve had.
Does your house have a dishwasher? No. It seems to be just a Western thing.
Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? I probably do, but I just can’t give you a lineup of names. Flower tattoos seem to be trendy these days, especially in the line style.
How many different languages can you say goodbye in? So I have goodbye, paalam, 안녕히 가세요, adios, auf wiedersehen, sayonara, au revoir...so that’s 7.
Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. Ummmm definitely childish and I can feel that the humor tries so hard sometimes but I do enjoy some of his movies, like 50 First Dates.
Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for? Yeah, I mentioned this on a previous survey.
Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail? No, I’ve never dated anyone who’s been imprisoned.
If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it? I ‘babysat,’ but technically all eldest Asian daughters are expected to look out for their younger siblings and cousins anyway. I didn’t actively enjoy it, but sure, it was fun playing with them and it’s always nice to be viewed as responsible.
What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds? I don’t eat sunflower seeds. I don’t dislike them, I just really never seek them out.
Do you get cold easily? Yes.
Do you get a lot of spiders in your house? Hmm no. If we do get visited they are almost always too small to be seen.
Do you admire nature? Yeah, I try to be around it as often as I can.
Name one naughty thing you’ve done. Had sex while a few people were in the same room. I pay for it now hahaha; those friends who had the misfortune to be in that situation have never let me live it down and it’s one of their go-to stories when I’m being introduced to new friends.
Name two of your favorite things as a child. I loved everything Bratz. I also liked Play-Doh.
Do you own a Pillow Pet? No, I’ve never even heard of that.
Do you tend to solve problems with violence? Never.
Have either of your parents gone to jail? Nope.
Do you know a hoarder? I heard my grandma had been one, but I didn’t see traces of it when I used to visit her. I guess she had been when she was younger and stronger. I show traces of hoarding too, but I don’t think it’s at a concerning level; I literally just threw out a bunch of shit in my room I’ve hoarded over the last five or so years.
Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows? I don’t touch them; I’m never all that worried about my appearance. On very rare instances, I will shave some of the excess hair off. Do you have any interesting scar stories? None of them are interesting tbh, just results of my own stupidity.
Do you hate the texture of meatballs? I don’t hate their texture but I also just don’t enjoy meatballs in general. I find them boring, which has always led me to think if they’re really supposed to be just boring clumps of meat or if I’ve just always been served average meatballs.
Do you get migraines? Yes, I usually get one after work. They’ve decreased in frequency now but one will drop by every now and then to give me a shit time.
Do you like guns? No.
Are turtles amazing creatures? All animals are. :') < Yes! Except cockroaches.
How much time do you spend taking surveys? I dedicate an hour or so every weekend. I often wish I can allot more time, but I also have other hobbies and interests I would usually want to catch up on during the weekends. 48 hours is just too short :(
Would you rather visit: The Eiffel Tower or Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids, in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t even need to think about it.
Would you like to work at a candy shop? Uh no. If I had to, it would be on the back-end, maybe in the corporate side of things lol.
Do you have feelings for someone? Nope.
Which one of your guy friends is the best looking? JM.
Do you have anything to say to your ex bf/gf? No.
Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player? I don’t use music players anymore but my Spotify always reminds me of how much I listen to BTS whenever they do one of their quirky listening habit reports lol.
Which song describes your mood at the moment? I want to go with RM’s Bicycle just because I’m feeling quite content and relaxed at the moment.
Which movie(s) do you quote the most? Eh, I’m not a big movie quoter.
Which one of your best friend’s friends would you most likely date? I honestly don’t see any of them as date-able.
Would you ever let anybody else drive your car? Sure. I’ve let Hans and Gab drive it countless times when I’ve had too much to drink. It’s a small car and is fairly easy to use and navigate. I would let Anj use it too at some point, but I want her to perfect her u-turns first hahahaha.
Which one of your friends will be the most successful? It’s already one of my friends to begin with but I’m not naming names. They come from a privileged background to begin with and their godfather already handed one of his companies down to them, so. They were also told the CEO position is already a sure slot for them.
What store did you last shop at? I wanna say NCAT, this Korean-themed store that sells trinkets and jewelries and plushies and stuff. They also sell BTS albums so Anj and I dropped by to check out and touch all the albums we can’t afford yet HAHA
Do you think telepathy is real? No.
When did you last draw something for fun? Last Saturday when I played an online drawing/guessing game with my uncles and aunts.
Who makes the most in your entire family? My dad.
Do you like writing essays? I love essays, it’s my favorite writing piece to make.
Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? It turns into one when it gets obsessive, like when people get excessive plastic surgeries specifically to look like another person. I’m looking at you, fucking Oli London.
Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up? It’s picked up.
When you sneeze do you sneeze into your shirt or your hands? I look away and just sneeze. Sometimes I’ll put up my elbow.
Do you usually have sex in the morning, noon or night time? Erm, I usually had it at night. I only had morning sex when we would spend the night; and I nearly never had noon sex.
Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test? No.
Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? Gun to my head, Lil Wayne.
Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently: Reena!!! I’m so grateful Angela introduced us to each other :) We both tend to get shy so we don’t actually actively get chatty when we see each other irl, but I love her presence and I love that she is my friend. I make up for it by being super friendly and wacky in our group chat haha. Does your car have a sunroof? No. We used to have a car that did, but we had to sell that during the peak of the pandemic.
Are you closer to your mom or your dad? Dad.
Have you ever had a friend with benefits? No.
Who’s the last person you cuddled with? My ex.
Are you friends with any of your teachers on Facebook? Yeup.
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No pressure to answer this at all if you don't want to but I'm just wondering. Edward vs. Jasper: pros & cons and who would you pick? 👀
No pressure taken babe. Alright so Edward vs my man. Let’s go
Edward: I never actually really liked Edward! One, I think Robert Pattinson is ugly and two, his book persona always felt so out of reach. I grew up distinctly poor and southern, Edward’s Chicago musical prodigy self never connected with me. I didn’t want to be whisked away with a man who could quote Hemingway but couldn’t fix a dishwasher.
PROS: He always knows what I’m thinking which I like bc I feel a lot and I don’t like being misinterpreted, he has a higher tolerance blood, he’s medically trained (as I am going to be), he’s incredibly book smart, I love music, we can have pretty intelligent conversations together about religion
CONS:  He’s not the hot one out of the two, he’s from a very different background, he waited til marriage, he had a lot of guilt when it comes to God that I’ve never had, he makes decisions without informing his partner, oh yeah and HE CAN READ YOUR MIND
Jasper: you all know I love this man. He’s the man on the cover of every cowboy romance novel I’ve ever written (to the people that say he wasn’t a cowboy, you’re actually correct! He was probably a rancher, who didn’t travel which just makes him a rancher and a farm boy. But his personality is like literally every cowboy character in those shitty novels trust me)
PROS: Hot. Yeah he’s hot that has to go on here, we’re from kinda the same background (southern and probably poor with a strict idea of childrearing), he’s protective and I like that, I know he plays guitar I just do, Rosalie had to teach him abt cars and I bet he’s up there with being a car buff, he is also incredibly talented and intelligent in his studies, he knows how to fight, he can tell what I’m FEELING also lovely
Cons: confederate. Yeah I’m sure I’ve got them in my bloodline being from SC but it doesn’t make me happy about it. His retention of blood lust, his very silent nature (I’m a big talker and I do like when people talk back sometimes lmao), we probably would have very little talks of religion as I don’t think he’s taken that to his vamp life
Yeah it’s Jasper. Always Jasper
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Survey #456
“i don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger, & that feels so rough”
What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for? I know at LEAST over an hour. I was in agony. What type of TV shows are your favourite? Animal docs. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Bitch I still am lmao. Do you know anyone who has died in battle? No. When was the last time you went on an adventure? Bro, I could NOT tell you. I haven't had one of those in what feels like eons. What brand is your vacuum cleaner? I actually don't know. I don't pay attention. Are you good at rapping? Never tried, but I'm sure I'd be awful. I stutter too much. Name one world issue that upsets you. Just ONE????????? Well, I can name homelessness as very high on the list. How do you feel about tanning? I hate it. I can't stand the heat, so why would I deliberately go bake in it? Have you ever given a public speech? Yeah, in front of the whole 4th and 5th grade when I was innnn... one of those grades, idr which. It was for my D.A.R.E. essay. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? NOOOOOOOOOOO I'm way too awkward. Kiss with your eyes open or closed? Bro who tf kisses with their eyes open, that shit is creepy. Do you believe you can change someone? No. One can only change themselves. How did you react when your first pet died? I have no memory of our first pet. Have you ever drawn anime? No. Can you use a pogo stick? When I was a kid, I became a MASTER. I got one for I want to say Christmas and I was obsessed. When’s the next time you’ll see the person that you like? Idk, first he needs to get on Facebook and see I messaged him alsdkfjalkdj. He like never gets on there. Do you like bathing/showering? No. One, it's a chore, and two, it's actually painful for me, standing up so long and propping my legs up and stuff like that to clean myself properly. Have you ever considered entering a race? HEEEEEEEEEEELL no. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Probably Gaga, idk. Who was your first good kiss with? Jason. What accessory do you want in your bedroom? I actually kinda want a TV now? What do you take the most pictures of? Flowers. What are you always in the mood for? Lately, Krispy Kreme donuts, lol. I haven't had one in a very long time, but goddamn does a hot glazed donut sound BANGIN' right now and has for days. What is something that you never turn down? Hm... how am I blanking??? What is something that you always turn down when offered? Certain foods or drinks, like tea. Name something sexy about your significant other. I don't have one'a those. What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up? Um, idk. As interests work, I may move away from any hobby eventually. If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be? Dance. If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be? Violin. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? A mortician. That job doesn't even seem all that bad to me? I think it'd be kinda chill somehow???? I could NEVER be a surgeon. I'd be terrified of fucking something up. Have you ever been on a subway? No. Are you in love? No. Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? *eyes emoji* Do you want to get married when you’re older? Yes. What was the last band shirt you wore? PROBABLY my Metallica shirt? But I'm unsure, ultimately. You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose? Ugh, I've been wanting a nice chocolate milkshake for a while. Have you ever given someone flowers? For Mother's Day one year, I collected some wildflowers to put in a jar for Mom. I've also given Jason roses before. I really wanted to give Sara some when I surprised her for her birthday, but I didn't want to ask her parents to drive me somewhere where I could buy her some, ha ha. What day of the week is usually your busiest day? None. My days are all the same. Do you have any concerts coming up? No, but UGH, I was so hyped a few days ago because I saw Motionless In White was going on tour next year, but of course they're going to the big city on the OTHER end of the state versus the capital, which I'm way closer to. -_- Bands ALWAYS choose Charlotte on the super rare occasion they come to NC... Do you like or hate the smell of fish? Ugh, I hate it. What’s your favorite brand of chips? Doritos, maybe? Between Mountain Dew and those... I am such a fucking gamer stereotype lmfao. Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? I think I had to before in school? Idr. Do you like pineapple? Love it. Does your house have a dishwasher? Yes. A dishwasher is one thing I MUST have in my own future house. I cannot stand touching dirty dishes. Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? Oh, absolutely. Sunflower tattoos are especially popular around here. How many different languages can you say goodbye in? English, German, and uhhh Spanish? Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. I don't mind them. I've never understood the hate, honestly? I think he's capable of being funny. Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for? Only by myself when I was a kid losing my baby teeth. Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail? Nooooo. If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it? Fuck no, I hate it. What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds? I don't like those. Do you get cold easily? No, but I get hot extremely easily. Do you get a lot of spiders in your house? I don't think so, no. Do you admire nature? I positively adore nature. If only we treated it better... Name one naughty thing you’ve done. Done sexual things in places I probably shouldn't have, oops. Name two of your favorite things as a child. Pokemon and Webkinz. Do you own a Pillow Pet? No. They're cute, though. My niece has one. Do you tend to solve problems with violence? Absolutely not. Have either of your parents gone to jail? No. Do you know a hoarder? Yes. Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows? I just leave 'em be, honestly. Do you have any interesting scar stories? Not really. Do you hate the texture of meatballs? No, I love me some meatballs. Do you get migraines? Very, very rarely. They fucking suck. Do you like guns? NOOOOOOO guns terrify me alsd;kjfal;sdjfk Are turtles amazing creatures? All animals are. :') How much time do you spend taking surveys? A whole lot. It's just that I'm like... always bored and the randomness of surveys can add interesting little flares to the day, I guess. Would you rather visit: The Eiffel Tower or Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids, for sure. Would you like to work at a candy shop? No. I don't want to work directly with people. Do you have feelings for someone? It's funny; now that I've settled the extreme indecision, I've come to realize that they're very strong feelings. How you go from being indecisive to really, really liking somebody, hell if I know. Which one of your guy friends is the best looking? Uhhh Girt is like my only real guy friend, so I guess it's by default him, ha ha. I'm not particularly attracted to him, but he's not ugly by any means. Do you have anything to say to your ex bf/gf? I'm so sorry. Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player? Either Ozzy or Metallica. Most likely Ozzy, though. Which song describes your mood at the moment? Hm. I dunno. Which movie(s) do you quote the most? None, really. Which one of your best friend’s friends would you most likely date? None; we don't share irl friends, being many states apart, and not even that many online ones. Would you ever let anybody else drive your car? I don't have my own car. Which one of your friends will be the most successful? I'm not psychic. What store did you last shop at? Mom and I picked up a Wal-Mart order the other day. Do you think telepathy is real? Absolutely not. When did you last draw something for fun? A few days ago, I started a drawing of Maieykio for Sara. Who makes the most in your entire family? I have no idea. Do you like writing essays? I don't mind, if the topic interests me. Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? Nah. Well, I think you can take it to an visual extreme, but that's just my opinion. Do what makes you comfortable in your own body. Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up? It's picked up. When you sneeze do you sneeze into your shirt or your hands? The inside of my elbow. Do you usually have sex in the morning, noon or night time? It usually happened at night. Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test? Haven't taken it yet. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? OH MY GOD NEITHER Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently: No one, really? Well, unless you count my change of feelings for Girt, but it's just that: a type of change. I've loved him platonically since high school, and it's like, I feel the same for him, just in a romantic way now? Does your car have a sunroof? No. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? My mom. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Nope, not how I roll. Who’s the last person you cuddled with? Sara. Unless you count my cat. Are you friends with any of your teachers on Facebook? Former teachers, yes. I feel kinda bad for 'em now... They're all the sweetest, God-fearing people, and then there's my outspoken (online) and liberal ass sharing shit that's gotta disappoint them now lmaoooo.
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Her Heavy Cross
Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?
Pairing: OMC x OFC
Word Count: approx 2.5k
Warnings: Smut, swearing
Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.
Part 6 Part 8
Part 7
Liam's phone rang. He ignored it and let it go to voicemail. When it rang again, he made a noise of disgust and took his phone out of his pocket to look at it. "It's my publicist. I had better take this."
Liam answered the phone and went outside to talk. I turned the oven on and started to unpack the groceries. Then I got the roast, put it in a baking tray, poured olive oil over the top and seasoned it with salt and some pepper. I got out some onions and garlic and started to cut them up to place around the roast to give it some added flavour.
"That looks great," Liam said when he came back in.
"Thanks," I said, and I gave him a grin. I took the tray and put it in the oven. I got my phone and put an alarm on, giving myself time to cook the veggies before they finished. A thought came to me, and before I could bite my tongue, I said, "They do say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
"Really?" Liam licked his lips, looked down at his pants and said, "I'd say they were aiming too high."
It took me a minute to work out what the joke was. When I finally did, I couldn't help but laugh and hide my face in my hands.
"You've gone so red!" Liam appeared to be having fun with my inability to control my blushes.
"Oh, my God!" I said, still hiding my face and laughing. "Alright, that was funny."
It took me a while to stop laughing. When I did, Liam said sombrely, "Sweetheart, I have to tell you something."
"Uh, oh, it doesn't sound good."
"It's not bad. I don't know how you will feel about it." Liam then told me that his publicist had called to let him know there were pictures put on Instagram and Twitter of the two of us kissing at the pub last night. "Your name hasn't been mentioned, and the photos look to be shot from pretty far away on a mobile, so someone in the pub took the pictures. Sarah says they probably aren't going to tell who you are by the pictures unless someone who knows you well comes forward."
I think if my eyes bulged out of my head any further, they would have fallen out and rolled on the floor. "That quick?" It was all I could think to say.
"Yeah. It's hard to know what will come out and when. A lot of times I go out, and no one notices me, but other times I have paps or members of the public following me for hours."
"Who's Sarah?"
"My publicist." Liam reached across the bench and took my hand in his. "Are you ok?"
"You say they don't know who I am?" Liam nodded, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn't happy but what was I going to do about it? I picked at my nails. I needed to paint them; the pale pink polish was starting to chip.
"You ok?" Liam asked again
I shrugged. "Your life is weird."
Liam chucked. "You keep telling me that."
"So, what happens now?"
"Well, usually Sarah would say to private all social media, but she had a look and said she could only find a Facebook profile for you which was already private. Do you have any others? Instagram? Twitter? Snapchat?"
"No. I have a YouTube account that I use to watch videos, but that isn't linked to my real name or email. Also, a Tumblr account, again not associated with my name. And no pictures of me."
"Tumblr?" He raised an eyebrow. His fucking lip twitched.
"I was a confused 22-year-old ok?" I said a bit defensively. "I haven't used it in years," I remembered then the dating site we met on. I quickly logged on and selected the options to hide the account.
"Ok, well, there's not much else right now. A few rags called Sarah for comment. She said the standard no comment and asked for my privacy to be respected. The rest is up to you."
"Up to me?" I asked, confused. "What's up to me?"
"When you want to confirm the relationship and release your name."
"Liam, I met you less than 24 hours ago and have known you only a few months. I'm not ready for that. I like you a lot, but maybe you pick your nose and eat it, and I'll have to dump your arse tomorrow and then it's been a big song and dance over nothing." I joked. The mood had gotten too heavy for me. I wanted to talk about something else.
"Sweetheart, I'd never do that." He smiled sweetly, "I'd make you eat it."
"Ewww!" I screamed.
"Get over here." He chased me around the bench, and after a few evasions and some more squeals, he caught me. Perrin came in through the doggy door and barked at Liam a few times. Our behaviour obviously scandalised him. "Perrin," I called. "Come here, boy."
"You think your dog can save you?"
"Of course, he's very protective of my honour."
"We will see about that." Liam bent over, and I thought he was going to tackle me. Instead of flying backwards, I was hoisted forward and found myself over his shoulder. I screamed as I heard a loud crack, my hands flying to my bum.
"Did you just smack my arse?" I must admit I was finding all the manhandling arousing. I wasn't going to let him know that, though.
"Yes, I did. Want another?" Liam was heading down the hallway, taking me to the bedroom.
I giggled. "No!"
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Liam quoted. Shakespeare sounded good with his accent. I giggled some more, and I got another one. Yes, very arousing.
Liam hummed. "I quite like the view here." He rubbed my bottom and took me into my bedroom.
I was very close to his round bum. "This view is not so bad either," I said and smacked his arse. Unfortunately, it probably hurt me more than it hurt him. His butt was tight!
Liam dropped me onto the bed at that point, and the look on his face was hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing, and tears were rolling down my face. Then I did the most embarrassing thing: I snorted.
That was it. Both of us couldn't stop. Every time I calmed enough to think I could speak, one look at Liam's face, and I'd be off again.
Eventually, we stopped, and I was able to say, "Oh my God, your face! That was so bloody funny." I wiped my eyes.
"I think that may have been the first time someone's done that to me."
"Really? Didn't you go to an all-boys school?"
"Yes, but it wasn't the US." Liam tried suppressing a grin as he said, "we got ball taps."
I tried not to laugh. I really did. "Oh, my God!" I was off again.
We watched the original Mad Max before I had to go and finish dinner. I was horrified when Liam said he hadn't seen it before. I immediately made him watch it. He said it was ok, the concept was great, but he didn't love it. I told him he needed a brain scan.
When I went to make dinner, Liam offered to help, but I told him not to be silly.
Liam sat at the kitchen bench chatting to me while I chopped and blanched the vegetables. After a while, he said he had to call Sarah and his assistant Ryan to make sure he had organised the dog walker to take Cole for a walk and play.
"Any update from Sarah?" I asked Liam when he returned. I feigned disinterest while I finished slicing the roast.
"All the same right now. Some sites have posted the pictures, saying I was spotted drinking with an "unknown female companion." The pictures have circulated a bit on Twitter, but it's mostly just by fans. They haven't hit the mainstream yet. It's all fairly standard, and it will go away by tomorrow by the looks of it."
"Good," I said. A look I couldn't interpret passed over Liam's face. He masked it pretty quickly. I opened my mouth to ask if he was ok but shut it again. I said, instead, "dinner's ready." I passed Liam his plate.
"Thank you," Liam said, leaning over to kiss me before eating. I watched as he cut up some beef and started chewing. "Pretty good. Almost as good as Mum's," he teased with a wink.
I elbowed him, and God bless him; he pretended it hurt.
We ate in silence for a while. I gave a few pieces to Perrin. He was so old, and I couldn't help but spoil him occasionally. He won't be around forever.
After dinner, Liam insisted on helping me clean up, and we stacked the dishwasher. Watching him bend over, his jeans straining as he put the plates in, stirred some feelings. Erotic feelings.
"Want to watch another movie?" He asked.
"Not really," I said. "I'm in the mood for some dessert."
"Ice-cream? I can't have any, but you can."
"Not ice-cream," I said, shaking my head. I looked at him with my very best bedroom eyes.
"What do you want then? Want me to go to the shops?" He said, not catching on. I put my arms around his waist. "If you let me borrow your car, I'll go. I can just go on my own."
"No, you wombat." I met his hips with mine, his eyes widened. "What I want is right here." I wriggled against him. Liam grinned widely, his cheeks creasing in such a sexy way.
"I thought you were shy."
"I am getting used to you," I said. "The real me is coming out." The truth of my words took me by surprise. I looked away, second-guessing myself. Why did I do that?
"I like her," Liam said hoarsely. If he hadn't spoken then, I think I would have stopped. But when his hands went into my hair, and he pulled, stretching my throat, I knew I wasn't going to stop. He kissed me there, and his teeth grazed my skin. My fingers reached under his shirt, and they gripped his back. My nails dug into his skin.
"Bedroom?" I whispered.
"Bedroom," he agreed and walked me backwards to my room.
"You promised me something earlier today," Liam said in between kisses. We were close to my bed.
"What's that?"
He stopped kissing me and cupped my face with his hands. "You said I could undress you."
Liam took hold of my t-shirt and waited. I nodded. He slowly lifted my shirt up and over my head before dropping it to the ground. He tilted his head as if contemplating and gently turned me around.
I felt Liam gather my hair and put it over my shoulder. He caressed my back with his fingertips, making me shiver with pleasure. I heard him give a satisfied hum before undoing my bra. He turned me around again and took hold of my bra straps, pulling them down my arms.
When I dropped my bra beside my shirt, Liam took a step back. He looked me up and down, his eyes hungry. I wanted to cover myself under his intense gaze, my earlier courage wavering under his scrutiny.
My arms started to move, and he gave me a stern look. "You're not thinking of hiding now, are you?"
I shook my head and forced my arms back by my sides. "Good, because I want to look. You're quite the sight." As if to emphasise his point, he adjusted himself through his pants. I felt a thrill of excitement flow through me and felt the familiar throbbing between my legs.
Liam got down on his knees and kissed my belly. His rough stubble tickled. "Your skin is so soft," he said in a low voice. He undid my jeans and kissed a trail down as he unzipped me. His breath was warm, and I felt it through the cotton of my briefs, his last kiss placed just above my slit.
It was almost agony. I moaned at his teasing breath and lips. Then Liam pulled down my underwear and kissed my mound. I felt his tongue part my lips, and when he found what he was looking for, he flattened his tongue and moaned into me.
I didn't know what to do. For a moment, I wanted to stop Liam, but it felt too good. I could feel my resolve waning. I didn't want to wait. Why should we wait? What was I waiting for? I had to stop thinking and go with it, enjoy him, enjoy the experience. I put my fingers in his hair as he licked and sucked at me. He seemed to remember what I liked, and soon I was close to my peak.
One of his fingers played at my entrance. I silently begged for Liam to put it in. My core was desperate to be filled. His finger slowly entered me, and I was lost. I needed him. At that moment, all I wanted was to feel more of him inside me, have him fill me.
I felt like this was the moment. If I don't ask Liam now, I probably never would. If I didn't want him now, why am I even allowing this to happen? I wanted him. He excited me like no one had done since Andy. He had knocked down the defences I'd built to keep myself alone. Keep me in my grief and guilt. I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted to feel desired again.
"Fuck me?" I asked. The words just tumbled out. I knew at that moment I would beg if I had to. "Please, Liam, I want you to fuck me."
I wasn't sure if Liam heard me. He increased his attention, and I felt the pressure building. His hand gripped my arse, his fingers digging into my cheeks as he pulled me closer to him. The short rough hair on his cheeks and chin tickled against my thighs. My legs buckled. I couldn't stand up anymore. He held me there while I panted and moaned, seeking release.
I felt my climax arrive like a bolt of lightning. It was sudden and intense. My body contracted as waves of pleasure exploded over me. Short, wordless shouts came from my mouth until it was over. I collapsed onto the bed.
I laid there a while, eyes closed, trying to catch my breath. Liam was shuffling around and heard his belt come undone. I felt the bed dip, and I opened my eyes to find Liam naked, climbing up the bed until his face was above mine.
Liam supported some of his weight with one hand and laid on me, our whole bodies skin to skin. He was warm to touch, and he almost felt hot to my now cooled skin.
"Ask me again," Liam said.
Part 8
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