#oh god i hate this omg

[kisses4kaia]

patrick likes his girls mean!! he loves the stuck up, entitled, princesses who demand their every need be catered to. so when he meets you, all designer rackets and chanel sponsorships, he’s gotta bite.

you’d heard of patrick, of course. whom of your peers hadn’t? the effervescent tennis prodigy with a blinding career practically inscribed in his fates.

you couldn’t lie, learning about his reputation as not only a tennis god, but as a sex one, too… you had to bite.

hell if you were going to make the first move, though. that was quite literally never happening, and so you bided your time.

luckily for you, patrick was rather impatient—much differently to yourself—and would never miss the opportunity to make his way towards you at one of your dad’s events at your exorbitant, cherrywood-littered, home.

“that’s your third glass of champagne.” his voice startled from behind you. you swiveled on your heels to face the owner of such a bold tenor. “excuse me?”

patrick smiled to himself, nodding towards your glass. “tough night?” he’s suave, a large, single, step and he’s right next to you.

about to spit at him the meanest offended verbiage you could offer, your eyes found themselves catching onto his broad shoulders, and then practically raving all over his figure. his forearms, worked and muscled, were cut off from your view at the wrists, hands shoved deep into his pockets. there was a shock of dark, gelled, curls on his head, pairing dangerously fine with the honest and abyssal ultramarine of his eyes.

“you gonna keep checking me out or are you gonna answer my question?” he wore a stupid, smug smirk that had you scoffing. “sorry, do i know you?” you wished you could have looked down at him when saying this, but even with your heavy platform versace heels, you still had to crane your head to meet his eyes.

and of course, your question was redundant, but from the sounds of him thus far, he could do with a little ego death.

“patrick, zweig. i play tennis. and you do, too, don’t you?” he knew the answer to that question and he knew exactly who you were, because your father’s foundation that this very event was being held for, was titled in your name. “oh, that’s right. yeah, your parents were, i think.. third place at last year’s st. jude’s fundraiser?” his face twisted up in shame so satisfactorily, you had to physically bite back an evil giggle of victory. “well, patrick. it was really nice talking—“

“i’ve got something stronger than champagne in my car.” his tone was flat, practically monotonous, but his words had an implication of sheer fun, and who were you to skip out on that?

so, here you were, orange vodka bottle in your right hand as you jerked a whining patrick off with your left. “god, you’re so fucking pent up. what is it, tennis? or is it that no girl wants to fuck you, so you haven’t blown a decent load since back at school?”

ooh, he would tell it to you so straight, spit out evidence-backed statements of how easy it was to get a pretty girl on her knees for him whenever he wanted, he would. he would, if his mind wasn’t so fogged up with the pleasure, and the drinks, and mostly you. you you you.

“fuck—t’s so good, so good. please, i wanna cum, wanna cum,” he’d plead through the thick steam growing in the increasingly too-small cockpit of his car.

“how bad?” nipping at his ear, you were waiting to hear him beg, and he was waiting to swallow his mass of pride enough to get it out. “so bad, really fucking bad. i need it, need you, fuck. shit—please, need it so much,” he was so convincing, and it would’ve swayed a kinder soul, but then again, patrick likes his girls mean.

“no.” with your hand lost on his stupidly bricked length, patrick groaned, and bitched, and whined, and complained about how unfair you were being, and how he’d never do that to you, and blah blah blah. “well, i can’t say i care, so. maybe i’ll see you later. bye, patrick,” your fingers twinkled goodbye in a wave, and you were out of the vehicle and back inside the party without another word.

it wasn’t over then, of course not, and you knew it. thus, it came as no shocker when an unknown number randomly applepays you $1000 in the middle of the night, along with a text that reads as follows.

had a great time. hope we run into each other again sometime soon. and, don’t spend it all in once place, yeah? - 💸

[proxycrit]

What if I redesigned some horses to fit MY favorite narrative trope: fallen gods and forgotten myths of old? Anyways.

Twilight’s mentor is a strange one. In a world of twilit planes forever shrouded in mystery, the older unicorn Lest and her adopted student Twilight are one in many common travelers, migrating the pitted wastelands and eeking survival within settlements that spring up around the glowing meteor shards. Despite living with Lest for the last four years, Twilight can’t help but seek answers to where her brother has gone— and in the process, perhaps dig a bit too deeply into the complexities of gods far older and dangerous then she can truly fathom.

On the otherhand, Celestia “Lest” Sol is having a terrible millenium. Her sister is no longer her sister, her student teleported herself halfway across the continent, and she got herself kidnapped by an old rival trying to attune with the elements of harmony to overthrow the current ruler of Equestria.

At least she gets a toxic yuri moment.

Meanwhile, Chrysalis is having a great time. She’s got kingdoms to conquer and people to feed and a waning god to taunt.

(The Selene Grace hates the sun monarch they deposed five centuries ago as they stay chained to their post, keeping the lunar and solar bodies from crashing into each other. Luna misses her sister, and the easier world where they haven’t hurt each other beyond reparation. Nightmare Moon misses their monstrosity, trapped in a host who’s grief has poisoned them with empathy.

Things are bound to tip. The celestial bodies are not bodies, but prisons, and the amalgamations we call alicorns the key. And something desperately wants to be freed…)

Anyways:

My mane 6 redesign here!

And my luna and celestia redesigns here!

[lifemod17]

Unfathomable amount of SILLY!!!

🎥: livsigg | tiktok

Melbourne, night 2 || 11/13/2024

[shizunitis]

“Shizun, you don’t smile often. I love seeing you smile. But whenever I recall that you only smile like that when you’re with them, it…” He said, very quietly, “It hurts me very, very much.”

[deepseagraveyard]

ba dum tss 🥁❄️

[keii]

JJK (Toji & Mahito) x I Saw the Devil (K-Movie) Crossover

[peri-peri-sauce]

Uhm... I have questions... Is that Jere on the right? 😭

[bishopony]

So I get why people prefer to drink sugar free things, cause premade coffees out there come loaded with so much sugar it's almost disgusting

But WHY do sugar free coffee companies feel the need to make their drinks SO sweet?? We're doing a sugar replacement, ok, but you do not need to make it as overwhelmingly saccharine as actual sugar drinks. Some of us actually want LESS sweetness

[kalashnikovlobotomy]

reading a caname that scratches an itch i haven't gotten scratched since madk

[1-800-i-ship-it]

update watched yuri on ice eps 5-9 and im freaking out cause:

YURI ACTUALLY SAYS ALL THIS IN CANON???:

“I want to be hated as the man who took Victor from the whole world!”

*touches foreheads together* *intense eye contact* “Don’t ever take your eyes off me”

“I’m the only one who can who can satisfy Victor. I’m the only one in the whole world who knows Victor’s love”

“With my coach, Victor, I’ll win with the power of love!”

“I’ll show my love to the whole of Russia”

THEN THERES ALSO:

Victor half naked slumped on yuri cause he had too much to drink...then the pic being posted everywhere LKASJDF

Victor hugging yuri while watching performances

Victor FLOPPING ON HIS BED WITH YURI TAKING A NAP TOGETHER??

VICTOR SHATTERING YURI’S HEART AND THEN ASKING IF A KISS WOULD MAKE IT BETTER IM-

-YURI JUST ASKING FOR HIS SUPPORT AND PRESENCE IN RESPONSE AHH <333

YURI SLAYING THE PERFORMANCE, GETTING AN INSANE HUG THAT KNOCKS HIM OVER, AND WAS THAT AN ALMOST KISS/REAL KISS AINT NO WAYYYYY

YURI SLAYING ANOTHER PERFORMANCE, VICTOR KISSES HIS SKATE ON CAMERA?????

THEY LITERALKU HAVE A COUPLES REUNION AT THE AIRPORT???

Then…then…THEN Yuri asks Victor to be his coach until he retires AND AND ANDDDD VICTOR TAKES HIS HAND OFF HIS SHOULDER…me expecting him to let go and then he HE FUCKING KISSES YURI’S HAND AND SAYS ITS LIKE A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL??? Then he says “I wish you’d never retire” HELLO???? WHERES THE RING??

[whisper-and-tangle]

[bxriles]

Lmao okay wait. I got asked that question about Feyre/Bryce/Aelin and I went down a lil rabbit hole and somehow ended up on a subreddit of people arguing over who would win in a fight if it were Feyre vs. Aelin.

And I am CACKLING right now because it seems like the bulk of people on that thread think Aelin would win, and the people who think Feyre would win are SO. UPSET. Like they are BIG MAD that anyone would think Aelin would win hahahahahaha

I'm cackling. I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard omfg. People really do 100% project themselves onto Feyre. They really think they ARE Feyre!!!!! I'm crying. Send help I can't breathe 😂😂

[obscenicon]

everybody owes plaidos the biggest fucking apology btw yall have been fucking vile to her over literally nothing

[aroacee-of-spades]

^ face of someone (me) who just finished the arcane finale

[jrueships]

pretty privilege in general is a terrible tool. but when the racism that it's ingrained in really has a platform to activate, it's just absurd .

[poisned]

I hate the war arc