#oh god I’ll never feel this way about a human being LMAO

[eyenaku]

spider movie good

[ziploc849]

My final TMA post of season 2. I think in the future I might try and keep these posts a lot shorter, limit my word count or sentence amount or something like that. But in the meantime, enjoy my thoughts on Episode 79 and 80!! I’ll be making a separate posts about some of my thoughts specifically regarding some shit we learned in episode 80. This is a long one so buckle in yall. I hope my ramblings are at least semi coherent

Ep 79: So many fucking thoughts. Jon doesn’t remember what Sasha looked like. Martin and Tim saw Not-Sasha even if they don’t understand it. Martin and Tim ending up in Michael’s. Domain? That feels like a fitting word at this point, even the way Michael talks, the way he has to remember the word for “sport”, makes me think that he’s not even something that’s good at pretending to be human. Not-Them is so fucking scary, the idea of them “wearing” the people they kill not like wearing their skin, but like wearing their essence, taking their place in the world but not their likeness. Fucking terrifying. Not-Sasha saying the institute “has the biggest eyes you ever did see”. Saying that if they took Jon’s place and became the Archivist he’d “miss the Unknowing” whatever that means. She talks about “robbing the eye of its pupil”. Archivist is capitalized in the transcripts when she says it, like it’s a title or a name. So much weird eye imagery in this fucking show. Strange mystery man appearing from the shadows and. Killing Not-Sasha? I’m not entirely sure what that was. God this episode was a lot from like 20-100 so fast

Ep 80: one of the YouTube comments on this episode is from that one TikTok “day 23 in the chamber, they ain’t found me yet but when they do they gonna be surprised” and that gave me a good laugh after this HELL of a fucking episode. You’re telling me we meet JURGEN LEITNER and then witness his DEATH in the same fucking episode???? What the shit??!?? All of my answers and ideas from the last episode were immediately answered here lmao

The Not-Them is trapped, not dead, likely never able to die according to Leitner. The real Sasha is dead forever, and it’s not surprising but there is a deep injustice in that. She didn’t have an inkling of what was going on.

There’s a book that works on Smirke’s architecture and is related to the phobia of claustrophobia, another hint I think.

The amusement in Jon’s voice with “That’ll be our Gerard” makes me wonder if I’ve missed something about his character related to the others, or if it’s just Jon happy to recognize something familiar in all of this.

The evolution through the episode of “what do you mean you thought they were just books, they are right?” to “oh god. They are so much more than books.” Leitner says some of them must like the flame, that things would take a different form if the book was burned. Is that what some of the creatures are? The ones that aren’t even pretending to be something strange and terrifying? Beings released from books and allowed to be more overtly dangerous? Like unbinding Not-Sasha from the table?

The description of what happened when the house was attacked is chilling and brings back many, many memories. Stabbed through the throat by something with too many teeth and limbs like knives sounds like the bajillions of people-to-the-left we’ve seen. Similar to Not-Them I think? Or maybe there’s a different example I can’t remember. Pulled into a maw that opened up from the floor, which sounds identical to the hole in The Butchers Window. Ran into a door that didn’t exist, Michael obviously. A hand through the roof simply grabbing someone is reminiscent of the way the sky ate, or somehow took the man in Freefall. An assistant whose name isn’t memorable anymore (though all the others’ are) being pulled into a pile of meat, the former sounds similar to what we saw in Lost and Found, but the meat mentioned sounds more reminiscent to things we saw in The Man Upstairs. Rooms taken by darkness or fire, things we have already seen the power of overtly and know very well.

Gertrude had 3 assistants, all 3 “meeting an unpleasant end”. I do not like the foreshadowing that offers for Tim and Martin, with Sasha already gone.

And of course. The entities. The humans to us, the ants. I find the analogy Leitner uses to be particularly interesting, even if I don’t know if he meant it in this way. Fingernails digging, changing the world in a fraction of a second, changing reality in a way ants could never fully understand. Like a creature taking the entire idea of a person and warping it to meet their needs. Changing memories and photographs and nearly everything in its path. The sky moving, in ways it shouldn’t because it just doesn’t, to pluck a man from reality. Eyes watching, knowing and seeing and observing, filing information away in a horrifying and terribly understanding kind of way. Always there, it’s people of interest never far from view even as they’re driven mad. Shadows vast and unfathomable, darkness that seems to spread the way light does. Endless expanses entirely impossible and yet very, very real to the people who see it. Themes we’ve seen before all over this series.

Leitner says Michael is “The Distortion”, “The Spiral”. Illusions and hallucinations and insanity. I think some things are falling into place, and I might have to make a seperate post on it cause this one is already way too long, but I think my phobias theory wasn’t too far off.

Elias killed Gertrude. Gertrude and Leitner were going to destroy the archives. Elias took files, files on “The Stranger”. Another mention of the Unknowing. Another entity? An event to come?

[Brutal Pipe Murder] made me laugh far harder than it should’ve. Sorry Leitner. What is the dripping (I don’t want to know). I don’t know how long Tim and Martin were gone, but gods they came on an awful scene. And they think Jon did it. God season 3 is gonna be Fucked.

[ornii]

Hi so i had this idea for a while. When your free can you do like a Jenna ortega x Male Reader where the reader is basically Michael Jackson?

Oh..The Wicked Games We Play

This got so much Darker than I wanted it to be, so I just sort of ran with it lmao. I was listening to Wicked Games by The Weeknd and it just sort of flows out. And I consider The Weeknd definitely on Par with MJ in this current music Landscape, so I’ll try and go for that.

Fame, Fortune, the lifestyle normal people dream for, is really a nightmare you eventually never wake up from. That was the case with you. The lavish cars, men and women screaming your name as you stood before them, like a god amongst men. You truly felt, untouchable. That’s how all those wiry fame feel, that they’re invincible, that human emotions don’t matter to them now, nothing matters. The stage was set for another concert, you had a final performance before the end of the tour, and like the scary perfectionist you are, you put 200% effort into all of it. Rehearsals, vocal performances, workouts, everything to push the human body to its limits. There was only one person that got inbetween all of this.

Jenna.

It wasn’t on purpose of course, it wasn’t her fault her natural beauty, amazingly perfekt personality and allure caught your eye so often, the way she watched so intently during your rehearsals, the concern she would show when you began to slow down, lose balance, look a bit, disheveled from lack of sleep. She loved you, but she was slowly starting to resent what you became and she hoped this tour will be the last for a while, with her workings schedule and the performances you put on on a weekly basis, it’s amazing you two have time for anything. While the premiere Wednesday was stellar, you unfortunately couldn’t make it due to being halfway across the country, but you watched, called, texted and constantly showed your support, regardless of presence or not.

But one thing, one small occurrence showed you an unfortunate side of popularity, watching the cameras flash of Jenna, and Percy, who played Xavier, the way he seemed so, calm around her, his natural they seemed together. While it irked you, you couldn’t be angry at costars being well, Co-Stars. Ready to put the subject down, you watched as his hand wrapped around her shoulder, her smile, his, and that gnawing feeling sank back into your heart, jealousy. And In that fit, you extend the tour another two weeks, and pushed yourself to take the world over, she’ll have to notice you then.

You stopped responding to her text so much, simple one worded answers, short calls, barely getting any sleep, work, work, work. Focus, confidence in yourself, that’s what you needed. And it all came to a final push during the last night of the tour, backstage you sat down in the room, trying to think straight as the sleep deprivation and exhaustion took its tole, looking in the mirror you saw the bags under your eyes, the weary look in them, and in the reflection of the mirror, you watched the door open, and Jenna was there, she looked worried, having to fly all the way out here, just for this.

“(Y/n).” She said in a slightly upset tone, she folded her arms as you kept staring at the mirror.

“Why haven’t you been talking to me?” She asks.

“I have—“ you attempt to reply, but she isn’t buying your obvious bullshit.

“Stop lying, you aren’t like this, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” She approaches your chair, and your anger slowly began to rise up, letting it boil.

“Why? Why don’t you just go talk to Percy, you two seem close.” You say, not out of Hate, but misguided feelings, She stood in her tracks and was in disbelief.

“That’s what this is about?” she said, and you stood up to turn around.

“What else would it be? Jenna I can barely get to hold you sometimes and he gets to put his fucking arm around you?”

“That’s, I don’t know why he did that, but you know we just work together. You know that’s true, why are you so angry?”

“You always told me that we try to keep it friendly with everyone we work with so shit like this doesn’t happen and the media doesn’t run with it!”

“What am I supposed to do? Shove him away? What do you want from me? You’re mad because I didn’t scream at him?!”

“Because I—“ you start, but stop and shake your head, you saw the hurt in her eyes, and it didn’t make you feel better as you thought it would.

“I love you… but I can’t be around you right now.” You said, and Jenna took a deep breath walked back to the door, you wanted to say something, anything, but nothing you said would fix this. The performance was less than ten minutes and you had all of this baggage, you took the rest to try and sort it all out, and began the performance. Darkness enveloped the stage, and red lights, like a highway began to go along the stage and one appeared before you in the middle, the crowd exploded with cheers and love, but it all felt so.. hallow. Because the one person you wanted there left in a fit of rage because of you, but as the veterans of music would tell you, the show must go on. The music bellows and you step out under the red in the classic Red Wine suit bladed, black slacks and button up shirt and gloves, with your eyes hidden behind the glasses, your voice took over the world at that moment, as Blinding Lights roared though the stadium.

“I've been tryna call, I've been on my own for long enough, Maybe you can show me how to love, maybe

“I'm going through withdrawals / You don't even have to do too much / You can turn me on with just a touch, baby!~

“I look around and / Sin City's cold and empty (oh!) / No one's around to judge me (oh!) I can't see clearly when you're gone!

“I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the lights / No, I can't sleep until I feel your touch / I said, ooh, I'm drowning in the night / Oh, when I'm like this, you're the one I trust

(Hey!, hey!, hey!)

Song after song, Wicked Games, StarBoy, Earned It, the crowd drinking in the roar of your voice, the sound, as the music downs out and it’s all black, you pull out your phone and make a single text to the DJ.

“Change of Plans, Die for you.” He says, and as the crowd prepares for the final song, you walk up to the mic stand and grab it, and nod. Your eyes look desperately out to the crowd, as if to yell for him but, no one can hear, and you look forward, only hoping she’s watching from somewhere.

“This is for you Jenna. Love you and, I’m sorry.” You utter in the mic, missions of “Awws” echo but you ignore them and continue as the song begins.

“I'm findin' ways to articulate the feelin' I'm goin' through, I just can't say I don't love you..

'Cause I love you, yeah

“It's hard for me to communicate the thoughts that I hold But tonight, I'm gon' let you know

Let me tell the truth Baby, let me tell the truth, yeah!~

“You know what I'm thinkin', see it in your eyes!You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry, You're scared to be lonely, 'specially in the night, I'm scared that I'll miss you, happens every time, I don't want this feelin', I can't afford love I try to find a reason to pull us apart

It ain't workin', 'cause you're perfect, and I know that you're worth it!

I can't walk away, oh!!~

Even though we're goin' through it And it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you! Baby, I would die for you, yeah!~

“The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind 'Cause baby, I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah!~

“I'm findin' ways to manipulate the feelin' you're goin' through, But, baby girl, I'm not blamin' you Just don't blame me, too, yeah 'Cause I can't take this pain forever And you won't find no one that's better 'Cause I'm right for you, babe I think I'm right for you, babe!~

“You know what I'm thinkin', see it in your eyes You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry It ain't workin', 'cause you're perfect, and I know that you're worth it! I can't walk away, oh!

“Even though we're goin' through it!And it makes you feel alone, Just know that I would die for you! Baby, I would die for you, yeah!~”

“The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind ‘Cause baby, I would die for you, uh Baby, I would die for you, yeah

“I would die for you, I would lie for you, Keep it real with you, I would kill for you, My baby

I'm just sayin', yeah, I would die for you, I would lie for you, Keep it real with you, I would kill for you, My baby

“Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na, ooooooooh~”

“Even though we're goin' through it!And it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah

“The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind 'Cause baby, I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah…”

As the music drowns out, after spending so much energy, your legs began to gave out, the heat of the lights, the deafening crowd, it all was too much for your body, and you toppled down, the last thing you saw before the darkness were the red lights flashing black.

Your eyes began to flutter awake, resting on something, soft and warm, but it slowly began to return to focus as you saw Jenna, she looks down at you. You were backstage, resting on her legs on the couch.

“You’re a fucking idiot you know that?” She said, you opened your mouth to speak.

“Shut up, you haven’t eaten, slept? This is why I wanted you to stop, you can’t keep doing this.”

“Jenna—“

“No, save your strength, I get you were upset and I’m sorry.”

“I’m.. sorry too..” you murmur, and she kept that cute angry pout that she did on Wednesday, but it slowly crumbled down as she placed her hand on your chest. Feeling your heartbeat.

“Let’s just… take the month off, Wednesday stopped production and season two is a while away, and I think you’re doing touring.. right?”

“Well—“

“That was a rhetorical question.” She replied, annoyed, you take her advice and just go along with her, you raised your hand and placed it on hers, holding it. All that fake and fortune means nothing without the love of your life, her hand near your heart.

I Suppose fame and fortune have their Wicked Games to play on those who chads it.

[lilacxquartz]

hey,can u plz share ur personal thought on gojo, Kenny,yuki and Megumi?

hahaah, personal thoughts. let’s see, let’s see. i’m so sorry for the upcoming yapping but. 😮‍💨 spoilers up ahead—HOWEVER BE WARNED IT IS A NOVEL OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY.

at the risk of having my gojo card revoked, i actually started off not really liking him too much because of the initial personality he let on. honestly props to gege for fleshing out his personality over the manga, because he quickly became one of my favourites.

i loved him as the concept of expected perfectionism from circumstances you can’t control. the idea of having to grow up perfect because you were had for a purpose is something i think unfortunately a lot of us can relate to even if we aren’t destined to be the strongest. (at the risk of doxxing myself, one of my parents is from a ‘we expect great things from you or else’ type culture/country that isn’t so common in the west) so seeing a character that actually does crumble in the representation is rare, to say the least.

the fact that he still tries to ensure that his students can have a semblance of a childhood despite their youth being fleeting to perhaps heal his inner child is something i won’t forget about his character and for that, despite his debut, will make him an eternal favourite among many in my heart.

ah kenjakuuuu. now that’s a difficult one because of the complexity of their character as well as the sheer depth due to how old they are. like because of them, the entire jjk plot line was able to take place and yet they’re not talked about as often. i feel like in some ways, gege made the perfect villain. i loved how unsettling they were when they talked and how it was always just like a slip away from being nonsensical. their unsettling smile that is built from centuries of just… existing, the things that they have to likely know. god. i dunno, it’s kind of attractive? even if they are a brain be damned, the cruelty and methodical aspect of their character just draws me in so bad.

i can’t help but want to always know more about them and i feel like i can forever explore their character for that reason because there’s so much potential to go with. i do understand why people hate on their character though because they are so evil lmao but that’s just evidence of them being the perfect villain, y know?

yuki, hmm. admittedly, i don’t really know a lot of her character because she was never a focus with writing for me. i have a very much later on upcoming yandere piece with her that i’ll study, but i think she’s honestly kind of realistic of a character, all things considered. she haunts the narrative by being a memory with the words she said to geto and for reminding choso that it’s okay to choose humanity which i liked about her involvement which is a pretty interesting scope of how the right words at the wrong time can be perceived to be harmful (what with her being blamed for geto’s dark side/decisions).

like, i don’t have a very in depth opinion of her but i like the way she was involved in the story. if there was more to her background, then it might have been different.

and finally megumi, poor megumi. :( i do feeeeeel like the general fanon conspiracy that claims that megumi shares a parallel with geto is at least true, because he does. my opinion of him is that i think to the younger fan base, that he’s relatable in a tragic way which makes him a well written character as well. i like him because he reminds me of being closed off and refusing to acknowledge vulnerability back when i was a teenager and while i thankfully didn’t have a cursed spirit inhabiting me and pushing my soul down, i think a lot watching/reading can relate to the limbo state his character was in. i think he deserved better from the start, which hopefully with how the ending goes, will never be challenged again.

SO SORRY FOR THIS NOVEL OH MY GOD

[itsslivernotsilver]

Ok dude I've been going nuts thinking about this show /pos

Since she's your fav, tell me about your favorite MIST moments PLEASE

ok hi sorry this took so long to answer i was overthinking everything and then i got distracted but this is literally the best question i’ve ever been asked omfg

honestly the main reason mist caught my eye is because i’ve always liked characters who are misunderstood by others. maybe it’s just projection but there’s something so compelling about character who can be surrounded by people who love and care for them, yet still feel isolated. when s2 finally released, i went on reddit (ew) to see how people reacted to her and it was split between “she’s cute i like her” and “oh my god she’s so annoying and terrible.” after that i loved her even more cause i got defensive lmao but all in all i just really like the premise of her character and i think she’s adorable and fun and she spices up the cast because sometimes they get a little monotone idk

so i don’t really feel like screen recording a bunch of videos and stuff so here’s some silly moments that i really liked in no particular order and then i’ll talk about other stuff

isn’t she adorable :)))

ok so one part that i really like is her convo with maddie about nostalgia in yair. something about this scene just hits really hard because she’s trying!!!! she’s really trying to connect with maddie in the only way she knows how. and it’s just never going to happen. there’s such a large gap between them that makes it almost impossible to fully understand one another. like. ok so maddie had been willing to empathize with her dad because while his upload was drastic, it was still her dad. she still has those bonds from before his upload and she can understand that he was once a person. but mist doesn’t have anyyy of that. she’s completely different and maddie can’t reconcile her digital-ness with her humanity because there’s not much to begin with. there’s a constant disconnect between the two and oh my GOD is it compelling your honor i love them so much

another thing that has always stood out was her fight with holstrom during apokalypsis and the aftermath. she immediately approaches holstrom with such fervor and she argues from a logical perspective, aka “you’re planning genocide, here’s the definition of genocide, my name is mist kim you killed my father prepare to die” type shit. but what ultimately gets her to rethink her views on him is that he frames his plan as saving a doomed society rather than committing genocide. the argument boils down to the main message of the show, “are UIs (and CIs) actually human and not just glorified corpses?” holstrom weaponizes her disconnect with nostalgia against her by calling it humanity’s fault rather than a Normal Human Emotion (also it’s super interesting how much he uses “us” when talking to her idk). and mist really struggles to reconcile the 2 perspectives she’s heard when it comes to nostalgia. she needs someone to inform her on things like social cues and human experiences because she’s never felt them. she tries to connect with maddie once again by saying “we talked about nostalgia, just like you and i” but maddie is obviously upset because she’s annoyed that mist simply can’t understand a lot of nuances regarding the importance of the physical world. i think maddie’s biases really shine here because of how quickly she shuts down mist rather than caspian who’s just like. sitting there the whole time lmao. she’s so set on labeling holstrom as genocidal because the two options he’s giving humanity are death or uploading, both of which are underneath living normally to her. mist, being a CI herself, gets that uploading isn’t necessarily the end all be all of life, and is “more open” to holstrom’s ideas of nostalgia being the true genocidal factor. i think this line from the short stories also adds a little flavor here, specifically “the way the shapes of her decision algorithms seemed adapted for the methods of warfare.”

obviously there’s a lot more expansion in the show but i feel like it’d be cool to mention this. she charges at holstrom harshly, but upon learning more information, she heads back to maddie and caspian to rethink the plan of attack, which is pretty warfare-y to me but idk i just thought it was a fun little connection.

finally i wanted to mention her plot line with the CIs real quick because it felt like a culmination of her whole character yk???? she’s fighting for a world where she can be with the UIs and humans she cares about, but she can also be with those who can fully understand her. it’s such a defining cause for her character and it’s just so well done. anyways i think that’s it for now but i just think mist is really neat and so is her sibling dynamic with maddie :)))

[littleshysheep-at-da]

do you have any headcanons regarding the pontiff or demon lord?

Still gotta start with the obligatory I LOVE that people are still asking about my KumoDesu Headcanons❤️ it feels like a meme but my reaction is basically “VALIDATION” every time lmao🤣

Hmmmm I don’t really think I have any for Dustin? I guess I don’t think of him much haha. I do think he is a really well done Character and I would’ve loved to expand on him raising Shinbou though! Oh though funny enough two of my favorite lines in the whole Novel involved Dustin. (Paraphrasing vol 6) Ariel’s line about “language being humanities’s strongest weapon, and Dustin wielding it exceptionally well” just the idea of language as a weapon is really good. (Also Paraphrasing vol 6) Also Mera’s absolute DESTRUCTION of Dustin with “nothing you have/can give is worth as much as what you’ve taken” like wholly shit this line changed my whole way of thinking but damn is it true. Doesn’t really apply to Dustin cause I wouldn’t call him an abuser, but there are so many cases were you have to know your abuser/person who hurt will never be able to fix you cause people who do those things aren’t worth anything.

But for Ariel I DEFINITELY have a bunch, I’ll have to see what I actually have Written down though cause I thinking about it now I CONSTANTLY FORGOT TO WRITE STUFF DOWN AHHHH!

Again MASSIVE SHIPPER BRAINROT so a lot about Ariel for me is gonna be about Shiroai x Ariel because your honor Sapphic Spiders tm. But I also have a decent amount about the found family (that has them being the Mothers of) because my god she is such a Mom to Mera, Kyouya, and Sophia like,,, the Puppet Taratects too def but like,,,, she’s just such a Mom. It’s really cute to see the gap of her giving life advice and guidance to her kids but also getting dotted on herself by Shiroai (cough cough can I add a pet peeve that’s related to wlw Ships by saying for the love of fuck let both Women in a Lesbian Relationship be Feminine? Like why does one have to take the role of the “Man” let them both wear a Wedding Dress).

So my OT3, as you know by now, is Shun x Katia x Kyouya. But my OTP is Shiroai x Ariel. Though I think I have way more introspection for my OT3 over my OTP idk why, maybe cause there is more to introspect for the OT3 while the OTP is so blunt in Canon in my Opinion? I love them both so much though, like will Ship these two Pairing till my dying breath and even after that.

Intent versus Execution: I think an important thing to keep in mind with Headcanons/Shipping is Intent versus Execution, basically there are things the Author might not have intended but do Read a certain way. Though in Headcanon/Shipping I am not against fun and you are completely allowed to like bonkers crack (as long as you don’t mistake it for Canon or force it some people like some Fanon people do). But Two things I will say with my Two Fav Ships for Kumoko (OTP Shiroai x Ariel and OT3 Shun x Katia x Kyouya) is I feel both of them may not be intended by they do strongly Read as Canon (or at least strong basis for), to me at least anyway. With Shiroai x Ariel I feel the Author probably just is attracted to women himself but because of this parts from both of their perspectives come off as really Lesbain. With Shun x Katia x Kyouya I would say “they’re weird about each other (affectionate)”. It took me a while to realize but all of them (maybe not Katia as much as Shun and Kyouya) have other friends, they may not have been as close but they did have other friends. So the fact they all single their Relationship out as something special reads as Romantic/Polyamorous leaning to me. Especially because they always mention the Three of them, as a Trio.

Ships Part 3: Also Shiroai/Kumoko x Ariel… is good stuff. The way Kumoko talks about women… is just not heterosexual lol. Her joking about how she’s in love with them (calling herself a kept man with D and all her convos with Ariel about confessing her love) and staring at boobs. Also the quick and brief description of men versus how she talks about women (how when she talks about how Mera’s “probably a catch” sounds so unsure and like how a Lesbain would describe what to look for in a man). There’s a lot to support this of how they care about each other. And how they really don’t want anything bad to happen to each other. The “I’ll accept no other ending besides one where the Demon Lord is smiling” is cute af.

Part 1 Ship Discourse: Clone Fucking vs Incest: The Grandmother Ariel and Granddaughter Shiro thing. So I could see this being a reason for people not wanting to Ship Ariel x Shiro. But I always felt they joke about this because in reality they are not related like that. All of Ariel’s “Children” are technically made with a cloning skill so they’re biologically the same. And the Egg Laying skill the Queen Taratects use does the same thing as well. So it’s not incest it’s clone fucking. ALSO Shiro remakes her body with her own magic plus her mind is a God’s Deep Fake of a High School Girl and an Average Japanese Spider.

Shiro Spider Habits (but also Ariel too): By the way Spiders don’t have vocal cords, some species can make noise by vibrating (I’m not sure what body part?) that sounds like purring (which I like to think he and Ariel do to flirt) and jumping spiders can make “music” by hitting their segments together. However these are both mating rituals. Also dancing is a form of mating ritual performed by male jumping spiders to woo a female. So basically I just wanna say Shiro not speaking much makes sense when in her past life SHE LITERALLY COULDN’T. Also I think she was probably very offended by having to learn how to dance.

Family Part 3: I think Ariel sees Guli and Sariel as her parents and Shiroai sort of sees Oka as a mom too. Also family Headcanon/Au Mera, Sophia, and Kyouya call Ariel Mom and Shiroai Mama. But I can’t decide and actually recently I’ve been like it the other way around with Shiroai as Mom and Ariel as Mama.

Family Part 4: The Demon Army can communicate completely with inhuman noises (and gestures on Shiro’s part). Kyouya can speak Goblin (which you can’t convince me doesn’t just sound like hamster noises). Mera and Sophia being vampires I like to think can make high pitched noises like bats. And Shiro and Ariel can make a purring sounds but only do that to each other as flirting (this is real, though they don’t have vocal cords certain types of spiders can make a rumbling sound like purring as a mating call).

Hmm sorry I really don’t have as much for Ariel!!! I’ll have to see if I have some more stuff to Write down (which will take a bit as I figure out how to Word stuff) so maybe I’ll add to this later we’ll see. One thing I do want to add to this with is a have a “Rating Insect/Arachnid Monster-Humanoid Designs Tier List” (that I have Posted on my DeviantArt but I need to fix some Formatting on it) and usually Characters like Ariel that only have Spiders Powers and aren’t Monster-ish (as good a Character as he is Design wise think Rui from Demon Slayer) would be a hard no for me buuuuut considering as a Series KumoDesu has had some of the BEST TIER INSECT/MONSTER DESIGN and are NOT cowards with making full Monster she gets a pass (also because I never said I wasn’t biased AF).

Anyway, thanks again BIG time for asking!!! I’m always willing to talk about my thoughts on KumoDesu because I am OBSESSED. These are crazy fun for me ❤️

(though heads up some of these might be drastically shorter than others cause I’ve gone through a decent amount of my longer already Written out ones already).

[felteverywhere]

here’s a plot wishlist of things i’m thinking about lately but would prefer to plot than write opens for. i’d also prefer to plot on discord but it’s not entirely necessary since obviously i’ll be writing on this account. some of them are kind of variations of the same thing but i think it makes it clear what kind of stuff i really love lmao. if you like this i’ll im you, but even if you like a lot of them it would be amazing if you could whittle it down to 2-3 tops. reblogging and messaging people when i’m online in the morning!

hot & heavy by lucy dacus inspired — the angst of your first love, homoerotic teenage best friend angst coming back to haunt you, bitterness and nostalgia mingling in the worst way, you hate her and you still love her after all this time. optional: period piece (70s, 80s, 90s, early 00s), a dead friend dragging them back to town, one of them is still closeted. 

fear street inspired — small towns where dark, horrible things have happened and keep happening but not everyone can afford to clear out, young people taking on a legacy of evil in the name of love, the truth of the past being unearthed, the loss along the way. optional: period piece (90s), we can run with something similar to fear street in terms of why the killers exist or come up with our own thing. 

college sleuths — a body found in a classroom or maybe an old unsolved mystery, a small campus cradled by woods and hidden from the world, a desperate need to uncover what everyone else wants to cover up, a righteousness or maybe an obligation to the dead, an eventual game of cat and mouse as they creep closer to the truth. optional: literally everything i listed can be tweaked, i just love the idea of a pair of people (even reluctantly) solving a murder. 

scooby doo inspired, college cryptid/supernatural hunters  — they’re the only ones who believe and maybe that’s okay, could be a mumu/could utilise npc characters if we’d like a group. optional: more of a buffy style scooby gang who are solving problems/include creatures in it. 

dark academia, the secret history inspired  — 

zombie apocalypse romance... with a twist on top of that — what’s more romantic than finding your soulmate at the end of the world? well, i guess if she’s also an unhinged person who will murder humans too, if they cross her. finding out she killed her last s/o somehow doesn’t phase you. basically: muse a has met someone after so long alone but muse b is a little crazy and they get into shenanigans. 

thoroughbreds inspired — unsettling girls forming a strange bond in rekindling a childhood friendship, uncomfortable step fathers, murder as a tool to solve problems rather than a ghastly act, taking blame as a romantic gesture. gifset for fun inspo. 

a return to the hurt/comfort fanfic tag. i’d like to explore deeper things while also dealing with the relationship between two characters. optionally but not limited to: grief, abuse (tentatively and with discussion about parameters), child custody issues, divorce, etc. 

this post but like no really, let’s write it. 

people who believe they are impossible to love pushing away the one who is demanding that they let them in!!!! not strong enough by boygenius vibes also 

an affair happening in a position of power, in a place it absolutely shouldn’t, where everything could turn to crap if they gave in but... they really can’t help themselves. people who are slaves to their own feelings no matter how toxic they are with one another. bad people being so passionately and deeply in love that it destroys everything. oh also this. 

still would kick things over for a normal people plot. i’ll never be over it!! never!! gifset for visual. shame and regret almost overpowering love but not quite, hurting each other, miscommunication, all the things. “i'm not a religious person but i do sometimes think god made you for me.” it should be illegal for someone to say that but jeez i am obsessed with it. 

someone truly deranged and evil and bloodthirsty and the only one who can stop them, but also the only one who can understand them. the only one who knows them. the only one who loves them? ah?

figure skating partners for carling i beg on my knees. fc optional i honestly might change her regardless. 

more song inspo without long winded thoughts: reckless driving by lizzy mcalpine, taken by muna, holding back/crowded places/waiting game by banks, forever winter/tis the damn season/cowboy like me by taylor swift but also really any taylor swift song. 

[quietwingsinthesky]

Ayo, I wanted to say while I'm a fan of fall of the house of usher, I was right there with some of your crit lmaooo. To me its my favorite show but I think honestly it should have front-loaded that Annabel was dead, Rufus in the wall, the deal etc. Then I feel like there would have been much more tension and horror because we would know for certain Verna's motives etc. Huge mistake holding all that imo. I feel like ep 8 almost had to carry too much with all the unraveling it had to do.

I don’t know where I stand exactly with the “mysteries” all being held until the last moment. Not sure I can speak on it because they weren’t really mysteries at all to me, both because of being familiar with Poe’s work and the fact that the show really wasn’t being subtle enough to hide anything. Except for the deal with Verna. Because that felt less like a “mystery” and more like a crucial plot point that we just weren’t allowed to know about that made the rest of the show more confusing than anything.

The show really didn’t have much tension in it at all. The narrative jumping around nonlinearly like it did really didn’t add anything, and kind of made most of the episodes turn from the horror of ‘oh god, what’s going to happen to these guys’ into ‘hey, if one guy on the moon hit another guy with a rock, would that be fucked up or what?’

And then there’s the issue of the one mystery I thought they set up very well: the informant. There was tension there! We didn’t know who it was because Roderick didn’t know and couldn’t flat out tell us like he could about how all his children were dead! And honestly, I feel like if Verna had had an even smaller presence during the first few deaths (and not been monologuing at them for whole minutes before they died, because that was both irritating (why does she talk in statistics? who talks like that? it’s why it’s so hard to get any grasp on what she’s supposed to be for me because one minute she’s going ‘hey, i’ll spare you, just walk away’ and the next she’ll say something like ‘wow did you know (fucked up thing), i love/hate that humans do (fucked up thing), die now.’)) then it would have helped the informant mystery even more. Turns it into an game of trying to figure out if the deaths were caused by someone in the family or if they really were supernatural in nature. Obviously, it’s a mike flanagan show, we know the answer is inevitably going to be the latter, but it would have been fun to at least play with that idea. They teased both that and the idea of another unknown kid killing the others, but neither of those theories actually mattered to us as the audience because we already knew that the kids were being murdered by a magical devil lady.

And anyway, as you know, all my theorizing falls completely flat because There Was Never An Informant. Most of the show I’ve made my peace with being the way it is, but that? That was just insulting. Who sets up one good mystery in episode one and then refuses to give it a resolution? Honestly, I thought they were setting Lenore up to be the informant from her conversation in episode one about it and her general Good Person-ness, which logistically wouldn’t have made much sense because of her being a child but would have at least been more satisfying than ‘lmao what informant there is no informant.’

sorry, i think i got a little off-track. i think the show’s main issues all stem from how wedded it is to this framing of roderick’s “confession” and how it forces itself into a non-linear structure. neither of those things really benefitted the story being told. the only thing that probably helped with was that i knew if i wanted to get to the best parts of the show (aka any part that was laser-focused on roderick and madeline together), i had to watch through the… less interesting bits.

[eviltiddyproductions]

Vincenzo : Episode 2

On the list of media with the most unserious ways to use Italian should be Vincenzo 🤣 and my little chef si si si 👍

Not the little girl pinky promise as one dangles from the window ?!!!

His upper body strength goes crazy

My man Vince has 0 eye bags and I need the skin care and concealer rn

Zero personal boundaries always makes me yell kiss regardless of situation like why are your noses that close !!! Kiss 💋

lmao cutie

my dancing queen is a lawyer! slay

help why is this man talking like a villain already😂😂😂 the pauses he’s taking and the tone is funny

show me a perfect garden and I’ll dig up dirt 🥕 tell ‘em sister!

Okay that took a very dark turn suddenly I have to side eye sister

honestly I don’t see anyone leaving the gold lol. human 101 people just refuse to part with gold for some reason

they killed everybody ??? 😭

the dramatic ass screaming and ( Italian ?) loud violins in the background always sends me

no one knocks in this show 💀

he looks very good in this lighting but do not trust him dad lawyer! don’t want to see you heart broken 😔

‘sorry sunbae’ 😂

I ADORE how dramatic she is. she’s just like me fr 😭

Vincenzo Quasano. Quaso. 🥐🥐🥐

She is so pretty 😭

the restaurant owner is giving real sass 😂

the tteokbokki on his suit 😭

dancing lawyer queenie is terrifying but yeah! fight your terrible co workers

a hockey puck to the stomach, I would’ve actually died instantly

this is actually insane. I will fight this CEO with my bare hands 😭 he’s going to break his back

someone protect lawyer dad and his daughter m

I know he’s making the worst food but I really do love the chef. Look at his mittens !!! it’s another little chef puppet

how is my man running a kitchen like that 😭

strong arming someone is bad but when you threaten someone’s family and kidnap them, maybe don’t squirm with a firm shoulder hold 😍

lmao the good lawyer dad getting happy sends 😭

the firm owner’s voice is so good. like he’s so full of excitement lmaooo.

honestly she gave a pretty solid first talk, I will steal it. ‘Small wins eventually lead to great victories, let’s not work too hard if we’re not being appreciated’ solid 👍

the zombie dancing 🧟‍♂️

they give zero fucks in this building I love them 😂

the 4 bottle of makegeolli, he isn’t making it out I fear

that’s her son 😔 at least he gets to hear it from someone else. always feel weird in these plot lines tbh because even if it is one character or just one side of the story him and his mom have probably felt a lot of pain throughout these 30 odd years. and after all that time you have to make the choice of letting go and moving forward

idk if Vince is being serious rn or playing him like does he actually feel bad about the condition of the people in the building?

this is actually so real because so many people get stuck in the system simply because they do not have the resources to challenge their verdict or bail themselves out.

the good dads get to teach you how to drink I guess. In Itaewon class it was the Saeroyi’s dad and here it’s our sweet Hong Yuchan

lmaooo her bowl cut and blonde hair I love Chayoung

Not the [ominous music] tag as he looks at her pictures omg ???

Junwoo just rat them out babes !!! this is not okay. go supply this information to her dad <3

She’s so real for screaming at him. Parents will sometimes ignore your phone at the worst time lmaooo

The way he’s staring at her, this better not be we were in love or passing in love as kids lmaooo 😭✋ that trope just always finds a way into all my shows

my dramatic ass sister will be dramatic with her hands in her pockets I love her !!!

lmaooo no one will let him eat here 🤣 he has not been able to compete one meal

oh my god dad lawyer stay alive

my girl might get fired but her priorities are straight !!!

the chef with his pizza getting a slo mo shot is so precious. look at his pizzas! he could never mess that up 🍕❤️

lmaooo they’re having a slo mo stare moment and there’s just a big inflated Italian man in between them 😭

me praying that he likes her before she likes him 🙏

the theme music, an unserious show

in the last moments of the episode is when it always hits you HOW much has happened

18 more to go

[dollwrites]

I know they barely showed aemond this season! And he’s supposed to be a main character! As far as I can remember in the books right now daemon isn’t doing much and is barely mentioned but aemond has a big role. But the writers of the show decided that daemon and nyra were the only main characters so they LITERALLY made shit up for daemons story line so they could show him more 🙄 when in reality aemond should have been shown way more. Pisses me off so much.

Can I just say that I don’t really like Hugh 🥴 he’s attractive for sure but I can’t get myself to like him. His pride literally killed his daughter, like as a big strong man he couldn’t leave kingslanding like his wife wanted because it would be embarrassing to him to have help 🙄 and then literally left his wife to fend for herself knowing that shit is awful in kl right now. But I will admit he was a badass when he claimed vermithor. I hate ulf too lol that bitch did not deserve a dragon.

I do feel for alicent, like her entire life was dedicated to putting her kids on the throne to protect them and they completely dismissed her from their lives and threw her away. She literally doesn’t know what to do with her life now, her life was this and they were like nah we don’t need your help. It was surprising to me that honestly I think aegon loves and respects her more than aemond when the opposite was true when they were kids. Aegon kept her on the council, he sought her advice, and called out to her when he was burned. Aemond was like why don’t you learn to knit or some shit lol. This whole time she put down aegon as being king when in reality he values her more than aemond does.

Yes corlys is a beautiful man for real, but he went and ruined that by cheating. And how do you do it more than once?? Like after the first one was born he should’ve been like oh shit I messed up I should stop but no he kept cheating, assumingely for years.

Jace is such a dick omg I literally hate him more and more each episode. People love to ignore the fact that he’s classist and looks down on low born, like bro you’re a full on bastard lmao. In got and hotd being a bastard is like the worst thing you can be, people see them literally as lesser humans. If people knew he was a bastard (which I mean everyone DOES know but they’re too afraid to admit it) he wouldn’t be able to inherit. And I hate the way he treats nyra too he’s so disrespectful sometimes. She’s literally the queen he shouldn’t be allowed to talk to her like that. And the fact that he didn’t want her to have the bastards try for a dragon even though that would mean the blacks would lose the war. So he would rather lose the war and have his entire family die than be scrutinized more for his brown hair. The fucking men in this show I swear lol 🙄

Yessss vhagar is literally like an elderly dog sometimes! It was so cute when aemond and her were chilling in the forest and when he was like rest not yet and she went back to sleep like k wake me up when you’re ready for me to fuck shit up 🤭 I get so worried about her and aemond 🥺

Honestly the whole seem where nyra calmed vermithor down was so cool, she literally yelled at him to chill and he actually listened 😭 I don’t love nyras character but she’s so beautiful and ethereal. I think I would like her more if she was less boring and had nothing to do with daemon. But this whole season was basically her doing nothing and then saying “What would you have me do??”

I will definitely send you edits 👀 it’ll be so hard to narrow down which ones I actually want to send you lol, I’ll probably make a whole different ask with them!

HELLO MY LOVE OMG I FINISHED IT… I’ve almost finished it twice actually I’m currently watching it with my mom! She’s so in love with daemon I’m SICK

And I have to be so honest wait,,, you know who ELSE they didn’t show me enough of? Mr Cregan Stark 🥺🥺🥺🫶🏻🐺🫶🏻 HE WAS SO CUTIE I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD… and then I never saw his ass again I am so interested in him though !! I like the starks they seem rough and tumble to me and I find that sexy I also just think winterfell is so pretty I love snow I would like to live there !!

YOU ARE VALID IN YOUR HUGH HATE because he’s a dumb Man AND it was 10000% ON HIM that his daughter died. I was so sad omg. BUT VERMITHOR !! I want to know more about him he’s probably my second fave dragon now, I think he’s so cool

OMG WAIT YOURE SO RIGHT and it kinda surprised me that aemond fired her tbh SKSKSK because when he was a child he was more loyal to her than Aegon seemed. The scene where aemond told larys to get Otto was SO FUNNY TO ME like larys rlly thought he was gonna be hand but that’s crazy and I do like the fact that aemond picks who can play their manipulation games with him he was having NONE of larys’ tricks but he would put Otto back in place as hand which means he has to know that there will be some manipulation going on there. The way he addresses alicent makes my skin crawl to his soft little “Mother?” Is SOOO condescending !!! 😣 he is too sexy I really am down bad !!!

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE WHOLE SEASON HOPING JACE WOULD DIE SKSKKS we probably have to suffer through his existence for the whole show or something. ALSO BACK ON THE TOPIC OF CREGAN… they did me so dirty by putting his only scene in the season with jace like now every time I rewatch that scene I have to see the little LOSERRR !!!

Ahh, and we have so long to wait until the next season HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP because you’ve been into it for way longer how do you WAIT SO LONG ?!

[haveumetbi]

Hello!

I've been using tumblr for a long time, but only recently I've felt confident enough in my english to actually try to join communities and make friends. 

A little introduction... That is actually kinda really long and I’m not gonna subject y’all to it unless you want to, so here’s the tldr:

I’m an acearo, bi, cis girl (🇺🇸 she/her — 🇧🇷 ela/a).

White latina from Brazil.

I’m disabled and neurodivergent

I love sitcoms, comedy is my fav genre of fiction

and cats

and The Sims

and Turma da Mônica

and hairstyling, braids, make up

and Jane Austen

and Taylor Swift

If you like any of it, follow me!! I’ll definetely follow back. If your curious, read bellow.

I’m a 23 year old college student who is majoring in History. I’m kind of a huge nerd, I love subjects like History (duh), Literature, Politics, Philosophy, Psychology, Religion, but also Comedy (i find fascinating to analyze it, even if that kinda defeats the purpose, sue me). I kinda only watch sitcoms, actually, maybe because of how obsessed I am with the genre (more on that later). 

Being Brazilian I may reblog/talk about Brazillian issues/stuff and most definetely will reblog things about Turma da Mônica (brazil’s most beloved comic book series that shaped the childhood’s of at least 3 generations now since the 60s/70s), my longest autistic special interest. Oh, yeah, I’m also neurodivergent, AuDHD and also have persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia gang rise up! or dont, ik its hard and tiresome) and fibromyalgia.

Another special interest I’m unhinged about is The Sims, I use Tumblr mostly bc of it, so I’ll definitely reblog stuff about it, maybe if everythings works out I will even create a side simblr, who knows. I love historic/fantasy gameplay, would be cool to share with people.

Idk if its a SI or just regular cat owner thing, but I’m definitely obsessed with these little guys. Speaking of cat lover, I love Taylor Swift. Like, I’m very casual about most music I consume, but she is the exception, I just... feel SO MUCH with her songs. Idk, idk... She also makes me feel things on a sapphic way, though I’m no g*ylor or hetl*r (rlly dont care about who she dates, just here for the art). But not in a wow I wanna bang this celebrity I have a crush on, cuz I dont wanna bang no one, cuz I’m acearo. Just, dont swing that way (or any way, really /hj cuz i'm actually gray-bi-romantic but its very rare, so i'm usually not swinging at all lmao).

I really like to read, but it has been tough to keep the habit with depression and disabled adult life knocking at my door and kicking my ass... currently I’m finishing reading all Jane Austen’s work (i love her sense of humor and analyses of human psychology) in portuguese, but I plan to eventually read the original stuff in english. I just really love stories and storytelling as an art form, maybe that’s why I love to write. I’m obsessed with fanfictions, actually, been writing since I was 11, never anything in english, but who knows, actually creating and participating in tumblr may be the first step. I mostly write about tv shows I’m obsessed about (though I did write some Turma da Mônica Jovem fanfiction...... thank god I deleted, it was terrible, tho in my defense I was still a preteen) and I mostly watch sitcoms so.... About that...

My favorite sitcom ever is probably How I Met Your Mother (it was literally what i needed when i was going through a really rough patch) and BoJack Horseman (yes, cartoon sitcoms totally count, shut up). I’d say my first sitcom love was The Simpsons, my biodad had a lot of dvds and tapes from the golden seasons and the fondest memories of my childhood were us watching together and laughing like two idiots. My first fandom was iCarly (i was a preteen okay), but I wasnt a big fan of the revival/reboot (yes I was team seddie, no it has nothing to do with it, I gave it a shot, but just didnt vibe with it). I also love The Office, That 70′s Show, Never Have I Ever, Community, Our Flag Means Death, The Sex Lifes of College Girls, One Day at a Time and The Good Place.

I’m pretty sure the only other shows that I got obsessed with that weren’t sitcoms were Once Upon a Time and Lucifer, two shows that were quite humorous with its wacky premises (fairytales in real life???? the devil taking a vacation in LA??? i mean, c’mon!!). I’m loving the Percy Jackson disney adaptation, it was my favorite YA book series and it always bummed me that the movie adaptation was so terrible, I'm glad we finally have a great adaptation and can't wait for more seasons to come!!!

I’m very talkative (you dont say?? 😮 /s) and a total extroverted that really loves to make friends, but my communication difficulties really do shine on long distance conversation... be phone calls, video calls, emails, text messages etc... So, although I’d love if you shoot me a message, bc I love to make friends, I also am not the best texter, so dont expect someone who always immediately answers you right back cuz they are online — please dont take it personal, it has nothing to do with who is messaging me and everything to do with my disability mkay? And yes, I am trying to work this shit out in therapy, but you know... growth aint linear. When shit hits the fan, the first thing that I lose is the ability to answer text messages 😭 idk i just stare at them, they stare at me, i combust and die, the end. 

Dont know how to end this text, so, I’ll just show a pic of my cat, cuz shes everything. Bye!! 

[falcqns]

Hi, first of all i love your work 💕 and second, I wanted to request a Chris Evans angsty to fluff one shot? Where he is much older than the reader (she’s in her early 20s) and they have confessed their attraction for each other but are not sure how to proceed, nothing much happens during the confession. But the next day there’s an event or party where both attend separately, during it they stare at each other from across the room but suddenly Chris is crowded mostly by women much older than you and they flirt with him, and he sees you getting sad and insecure about your feelings and about his feelings too and obviously your age, so maybe you run off somewhere else and he decides to follow and then reassures you he likes you, then it’s all fluff? Maybe with a kiss at the end?🥺 thank uuuu!! I hope you’re having a nice day💓

Age Gap

pairing: chris evans x younger!reader

warnings: age gap, fluff, angst, insinuations to smut, hannah montana reference lmao

a/n: thank you for the request and i hope you enjoy! also i wrote this on my phone so i apologize for any mistakes lol

being 21 and having a crush on a 39 year old was tough.

finding out that that 39 year old felt the same was even tougher.

when you got the chance to audition with him for his new movie, Deep Silence, you jumped at it. just getting to be in a room with him blew your mind, but when your agent called you and told you you got a role, you were ecstatic.

you had originally auditioned for the role of Emma Garner, Chris’s characters daughter, but he decided you were perfect for the role of his characters wife, Francesca Garner instead.

you had no idea why. you were barely 21, and he was 19 years older than you. it would make so much more sense for you to play his daughter, but you accepted the role of his wife nonetheless.

at least now you won’t have to watch your crush kiss another girl, something that was all too familiar in high school.

when you two had your first love scene, you were terrified. how were you going to keep the fact that you were incredibly attracted to your co star a secret while acting out something that is so private?

you had a suspicion that he felt the same during filming, when he’d purposely ground his hard on into your centre and rasped into you ear “if you liked that”, but he ran away to his trailer before you could ask him about it.

you thought he was finally going to talk to you about it when he approached you a few days later, but he ended up just asking if you wanted to go to disneyland with him and Scott and his boyfriend, to which you accepted.

the day was fun, with the four of you taking lots of photos, going on lists of rides, eating lots of food (that ultimately made Scott throw up after one two many churros and and a ride on Seven Dwarves) and ended in you guys watching Happily Ever After. About halfway through, Chris pulled you into his arms, and pressed his lips to yours.

as soon as he kissed you, all the background noise faded away, and the two of you stood there like teenagers making out for the rest of the show.

when that happened, you thought for sure that he’d finally ask you out. you’d ask him out, but that seemed insanely intimidating, and you weren’t down for that at all. but, he didn’t make a move. other than kissing. he’d kiss you constantly, but it never progressed passed making out, and you were a little disappointed.

eventually, comic con came up, and you wouldn’t be attending with Chris, rather than the TV show you were a regular on. you had spotted him watching you in the crowd, thanks to your favourite actress who was also on the panel with you. you attended his as well, and even asked a question, as your movie hadn’t been announced yet, so people wouldn’t know you unless they watched your show.

then, the after party rolled around. you had messaged briefly, but hadn’t really spoken, something you were hoping to do tonight. you had reached your wits end, and just decided to man up and talk to him about where you two stood.

but, you couldn’t find him. you’d wandered around with your co stars and talked to a few directors and casting agents to get your name out there for future projects, but you couldn’t for the life of you locate Chris.

Until you got to the bar. you had just ordered your favourite drink, when you spotted him at the other end of the bar. but, he wasn’t alone. he was surrounded by five or six women who were definitely much older than you, and your heart sank.

it didn’t shatter, however, until you saw Chris flirting back. your eyes welled up with tears, and you tried to wipe them discreetly without Chris or anyone noticing, but of course that didn’t happen.

Chris was doing his best to ward off the ladies swarming him, so he could come and find you. he had been leading you on for too long, and he just needed to ask you out already, before another guy snatched you from his fingers.

suddenly, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and looked up, thinking it was Scott coming back with more food, but his heart dropped when he saw you. you were stood there, looking absolutely magnificent, but your eyes were full with tears, almost to the point of spilling over onto the cheeks he loved to kiss and hold in his hands so much.

he looked at the swarm of ladies that had formed around him, and swore, realizing what you were probably thinking.

he watched as you turned and stormed away, towards the door. he politely excused himself, and headed after you.

he followed you out the door he watched you disappear through, but his heart sank even lower when he realized you weren’t there. he was about to go back inside and ask your co stars for your room number, when he heard the tell tale signs of your sobs coming from a hidden alcove to his left.

he ran down the steps and over to the alcove, and his heart broke when he saw you. you were leaning against the wall, you head in your hands. loud sobs were escaping your mouth, and he knew for a fact you had an endless amount of tears running down your face, the saltiness of them probably already swelling your beautiful face up.

he wasted no time in coming over to you and wrapping you up tight in his arms. you tried to pull out of them, but he stood firm, and eventually you relaxed.

“i’m so sorry.” he whispered, and your sobs subsided. you shook your head and looked up at him.

“no. i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i was born in the wrong generation, because maybe then one of us would have the courage to ask the other out without fear of judgement. i’m sorry that i’m not as mature as those girls, or as talented. i’m sorry that i probably read into things like i always do and ruine-“ you began; but was cut off by Chris soft lips.

when he pulled away, he rested his forehead atop yours. “no. don’t. you’re perfect. so fuckin’ perfect it scares me sometimes. it absolutely terrifies the shit out of me how perfect you are because i don’t want to hurt you. you’re so young and innocent, and i love that about you. i don’t want to be the one to crush that innocence that i love so much by hurting you. but, i shouldn’t have let that hold me back. we’re both legal, so age is just a number. i should have told you that say i fuckin’ dry humped you on set.” he said, and you laughed at the last bit. “i love you so fuckin’ much, y/n, it honestly scares me. but being scared is good. it makes me human, and i’m not letting that hold me back from treating you the way you deserve to be treated. if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, i will spend the rest of our time together showing you just how much i love and appreciate you.” he said, and you looked up at him. “will you be my girlfriend?” he asked softly, and you nodded in happiness, your lips pressing to his.

Chris smiled into the slightly salty, but still loving kiss. he finally had you, and he wasn’t going to let you go. you were his whole world, and he was kicking himself for not realizing it sooner.

the two of you were currently walking hand in hand back to the venue, when you spoke up. “that was the sweetest speech. i’m not mad at you because of those girls. i realized shortly after that you wouldn’t do anything like that, but i thought maybe you’d realize that they were better than me, so that’s why i left.” you explained, and Chris tugged you in closer to his body.

“that makes me so happy, sweet girl. it was a mistake letting those girls do that and i should have stopped it sooner, but everybody makes mistakes.” he said.

you giggled before responding. “everybody has those days.” you said with the straightest face possible and Chris turned and stared at you for a second before realizing the reference.

“Hannah Montana? oh my god you’re so innocent,” he said, moaning the last few words into your ears, his hands gripping your waist to pull you against him.

you bit your lip and smiled. “i’m not completely innocent,” you said right back, and smiled in happiness when you felt him hardening against your stomach.

“mmm, really baby?” he moaned, and you nodded, before whispering in his ear.

“take me back to your hotel room and i’ll show you.”

[ukiyokki]

mars reads too much dreamnotfound fanfiction for their own good

a dreamnotfound fanfic recommendation list by your resident dumbass (me)

this took way to fucking long... i’m tired

below is a (very extensive) list dedicated to all my favorite dnf fics, ranging from quick one shots to 100k+ word monstrosities that devour the storage on my computer, forever incomplete masterpieces to ongoing works of art, you get the idea. i provided links for each fic/series for your reading pleasure. there will be no smutty/nsfw fics on this list, that’s just not my vibe lmao. this list goes in no particular order, and i’ll update it from time to time when i feel like it. now, without further ado, let us begin.

Heat Waves (complete) by tbhyourelame

(wtf else did you expect, looking at a dnf rec list?) amazingly well written, and while it’s not my favorite dnf fic it’s damn near close. in the midst of a brutal heatwave, a suffering dream comes to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with his best friend. everything i could say about this fic has already been said by nearly everyone who’s read it, so if you haven’t yet caved into the hype, just go for it. you won’t be disappointed.

Gonna be around (completed) by georgescatcafe

(mc irl) my favorite dnf oneshot to date. just read it, i don’t wanna spoil for you :)

Inferno in the Sky (ongoing)by zairielon

(star wars au) an ongoing star wars au currently clocking in at almost 200k words. need I say more? everything about it absolutely slaps, each chapter is amazingly written, and it’s just good. also, can we just appreciate dream and tubbos dynamic in here? 10/10, amazing, must protecc. oh right, a summary: george, an exiled padawan turned engineer, must return to the jedi temple after attacks on it from an unknown assailant threaten the safety of himself and the other jedi.

Like Magic (ongoing) by KangarooKen, NotGra55 (Gra55)

(harry potter au) the unofficial official dnf harry potter au. we watch the young unlikely wizard pair grow up together throughout their years at hogwarts as they battle good old fashioned wizard racism. beautifully written, incredibly fun and suspenseful, and just an overall blast and a half.

GeorgeNotFound, Son of Poseidon, and the League of Minor Gods (ongoing) by Clichewho_69, Cygnvs, Trash_Kinggg

(percy jackson au) percy jackson au? check. “road trip” (technically quest but u get what i mean)? check. enemies to friends to lovers? check. this fic follows the plot of the lightning theif (albeit loosely), but everything is explained enough where you don’t have to read percy jackson to understand what’s going on. basically after moving to the usa, george gets taken to camp halfblood where he learns that a) gods exist. b) he’s the son of poseidon and c) he needs to prove that he didn’t steal zeus’s master bolt.

Protected (completed) by aenqua

(royalty/camelot au) my favorite piece of dnf media of all time. dubbed the official dnf camelot au, where dream is the heir to the throne and george is a servants son with a secret that couldp get him killed. these childhood friends grow up together and learn trust, love, and acceptance. (that summary did not justice to the masterpiece that is this fic) here’s the directors cut

The Hunter (completed) by HederEgo

(mc irl) a choose your own adventure fic with 13 different endings, where dream the hunter must kill george and stop him from beater the ender dragon. enough said.

The official dream team cowboy AU (series)(ongoing) by antsu_in_my_pantsu

(cowboy au) cowboys and outlaws horses and shit. and the big gay. it’s a cowboy au, what else did you expect? fucking yee haw (all seriousness this is a great read, i loved it so so so so much and i can’t wait for the final chapter to release).

This is a Drista moment, let's just accept it (completed) by Qekyo

dnf fic from drista pov. considering its unique perspective, it’s perfectly done. beautifully showcases a sibling relationship through drista and her memories/moments with dream, and it just works, y’a know? also drista supremacy.

Dear Dream (completed) by Qekyo

(wwii au) i don’t cry when watching/reading anything sad. translation: i’m a heartless bitch. however, this fic is the only exception. it caused me to cry so hard my mom walked in my room and asked if i was ok. ‘nuff said.

TECHNOlogical Wingman (completed) by Closeted_Bookworm

techno is the autocorrect ai on dreams phone, and he gains sentience. interesting concept, and the author fucking nailed it. great fic.

It Was Only a Fic (ongoing) by imagineitdear

dream starts reading a dnf fanfic (we’ve all been there buddy).

Teacher’s Pet (ongoing) by niyuha

(teacher au) in which dream is a high school english teacher and george is the new comp sci teacher in room 297.

Saltwater Secrets (ongoing) by earlgay_milktea

(mermaid/high school au) a great example of the shear amount of variety in fics this fandom has to offer. when i started reading dnf fics i would have never thought i’d find one about a mermaid george hopelessly crushing on his human friend, who happens to be his schools star swimmer. yet here i am, and i am far from disappointed.

Smash My Heart (incomplete) by dontrollthedice

george and sapnap are commentators for duper smash brothers tournaments, and george develops a crush on an up and coming smash streamer named dream.

roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems (completed) by Alienu

laser tag. 10/10

solar system (completed) by quartzfia

(mc irl) george vists dream in pandora’s vault.

Ramblings of a Lunatic (completed) by jungkooksfic

ahh communicating through a notebook left on a shelf in a bookstore- what a perfect way to start a relationship.

Paint me like your French Girls (It's Charcoal, Actually) (completed) by Turtle_ier

(artist au) george is an art student, and dream is a model.

00:00:00 (completed) by isleofdreams

(soulmate au) 00:00:00 is the moment you meet your soulmate, as indicated but the clock ticking down on your wrist until the moment you meet. i’m not a fan of soulmate aus; this fic is the exception.

Blue Skies Smilin' At Me (completed) by kivy

(artist au) i don’t usually cry while reading stuff, but this brought me damn near close. george is a painting conservator and chats it is with the ghost of the artist if the painting he is working on. they fall in a love.

Current Location (incomplete) by hendollana

(influencer au) george simps for a hot american instagram model. who knew he’d actually follow back?

The Withering (series) (series ongoing, 1 work completed) by App1e_Juice

(mc irl) lore and world building and fight scenes and everything i crave. what’s not to love? something starts making the plants and crops around dreams village wither, and must team up with new friends to find the cause of the mysterious disease plaguing the land.

Minecraft, But You Can't Leave (complete) by facadecake

(mc irl) dream and george are sucked into their own private minecraft world together and must beat the game to escape.

Free The Game, Beat the End (incomplete) by goatgoatwasfound

(mc irl) a glitch in minecraft causes thousands of players from around the world to be trapped inside minecraft, with only one way of escape- beating the ender dragon. first dnf fic i ever read, and it’s still 10/10 for me.

Why don't you come a little closer? (completed) by lifeofandoms

george gets stood up by a date, and Dream pretends he’s the date to save george from the embarrassment. simply adorable.

lightning bug (completed) by saintachesP

(band au) while on tour, dream realizes his feeling for george.

Hold me closer (completed) by Treesofmyheart

(mc irl/dsmp) i just,, really like this trope.

Dizzy on caffeine (completed) by GleamingGreenGoggles

(coffee shop au) best dnf coffeeshop au i’ve read. periodt.

living a life of crime isn’t always easy (series) (completed) by itisjosh

(mafia/assassin au) stockholm syndrome except it’s not weird.

Inhibitions Make Interesting Situations (completed) by Ship_On_The_Sea

i pissed myself laughing. it’s just a dream and george being hilariously dense, flustered idiots. serotonin central.

thy eternal summer shall not fade (completed) by gracequills

(high school au) that moment when you recite shakespeare to your crush in your ap lit class instead of confessing (hate it when that happens).

All is Fair in love and Football (ongoing) by graciegirl2001

(college au) #1 favorite college au. in which george is a cheerleader, and dream is the football teams rising star player. this one gets extra points because of the amazing karlnap moments sprinkled throughout. *chefs kisses air*

online love (completed) by andbutso

(high school au) online classes go zoooooooom

Can’t help falling (completed) by isleofdreams

dream re-learns the guitar to sing to george on his birthday. beautiful. fluffy. amazing

dance in the rain and my arms (completed) by lazy_kitkat

george is a rain god, and dream is a wind god

Weather Boy (completed) by DaintyDiizzle

wouldn't you like to know, weather boy? (where dream can control the rain)

The color orange (completed) by anon

(mc irl) dream describes the colors of a sunset

Family Mode (completed)by Strawberry_flavoured_tears

they’re dads :,)

Breathing Room (incomplete) by papercranes

(band an) an amazing band au. the mad lad author wrote original songs for each chapter. above and beyond, mad props :). unfortunately, it’s incomplete

Piece of Clay (completed) by carbonbrine

(artist au) george is a sculptor and his sculpture comes to life- but oh no he’s hot.

Try (completed) by Not4typicalwriter

(royalty au) george must choose a suitor, but none of them are up to dream, his head knights, standards. or dream is hella jelly. also protective dream is perfect

When the Roses Bloom (completed) by HederEgo

(royalty au) close second for my favorite fic. go to royalty au for a quick serotonin bost. it’s all fluff and flowers and crushes, and i love it. criminally underrated.

Heavenstruck (ongoing) by dontrollthedice

george is dreams guardian angel, and dream want to find out more about him and his past life. bittersweet :,)

Bang and Burn (completed) by App1e_Juice

(spy au) george accidentally falls for target number 1 on sapnap’s secret agency’s hit list. this ones great, i love me a spy au :)

Can I get a uhh… (completed) by lemonskies

dream keeps pulling up to the drive through mcdonald’s that george works at drunk.

Pretty Stranger (completed) by anon

when looking for dream in the terminal, george sees a cute guy and decides to flirt.

Take my Hand (completed) by latinbias

(royalty au) another royalty au? poggers. surprise twists? double poggers. love this a lot.

seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes (complete) by meridies

ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP *inhales to compose herself* roadtrip au. unrequited love, ignored feelings, longing, pining, you know the drill. absolutely love this one, its the best roadtrip au i have ever read, in any fandom. (maybe cause i identify with it a little too much, but thats not important. whats important is that you read this fic. right now. im waiting).

Message redacted (complete) by justyouraverageloser

(text fic) dream asks for a girls number and realises hes been given the wrong number. however, an unexpected relationship starts to form between him and the stranger on the other end of the line.

the waves (completed) by anon

(mc irl) this fic was written by the same anon who wrote the color orange, which is up there on my fav dnf oneshot list. dream and george know they have a higher purpose. they don’t know where they came from, or why they are seemingly the only humans in the world, or how they feel about eachother, or even where the skeletons come from, but they are sure of one thing: they have to beat a dragon.

The Dream Doll (completed) by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza)

(voodoo i guess) i’m a real big fan of fics with really out there or unique concepts, so naturally this one makes the cut! i really liked it, it’s really sweet and made me think a lot about what matters to me in the world. george finds a strange doll in an antique shop, and would really like to just stuff it in a drawer and forget about it. sadly (?), the doll has other plans.

last updated February 6th, 2021

[drabblemania]

demon slayer

headcannons of you being apart of the main gang!

a/n: tried to make it a little vague so there’s no spoilers!!

tw/cw: a tiny bit of cussing

•Get ready to never be bored again!!

•Or ever catch a break again.

•Between Zenitsu’s constant fearful screams and Inosuke’s loudmouth, you’re not sure which caused your ears to bleed first.

•Being apart of this group means that you’re incredibly tight with each demon slayer involved.

•So you have everyone’s trust!

•You knew you had Inosuke’s trust when he started to gift you random forest items like acorns and pinecones! He also offers to “chisel” your sword to be just like his.

“With this, you’ll never lose to a demon again! Have you ever seen me lose to a demon, (Name)?” He huffed proudly, the puffs escaping through his blue-eyed boar mask.

“Well, no, bu—”

“Exactly! Now, let’s get started!”

•Just keep attempting to refuse, you’ll get through to him eventually—

•Inosuke doesn’t have his mask off often at all, but when he does have it off, tell him that he looks as beautiful as his mother did.

•You may not know what she really looked like, but when his eyes widen in shock and he feels that little giddy feeling, you’ll know. It’s on his face.

•He won’t say that he’s grateful, no. In fact, he’ll probably just grumble something about a “stomach butterfly spell” that you casted on him.

•he’s happy :)

•Often challenges you to spar!

•If you accept, he’s elated! Already has his swords out and ready to cut you up!! Respectfully, of course!

•Refuse? Well he’s just gonna keep asking anyways, so there’s no real way to get out of it lMAO—

•Tell him he’s super impressive! Inosuke’ll be super happy and, sure, you’ll have to listen to him boast about himself for the next few hours, but hey! You’ve boosted his ego and made him feel giddy!

•Share some of your food from him because honestly hE’S GOING TO STEAL IT ANYWAYS, JUST GIVE IN.

•It’ll feel better if you just give it up, trust me 💀

•Pretend to be his subordinate for just a little bit 😭 he’ll even proudly exclaim how strong his second-in-command is!

•Inosuke tends to stand ominously in front of dark doorways and slowly dislocate all of his joints, and it fucking horrifies you.

•You don’t know why he does this, nor if it’s even really him.

•All you know is that you’re scared shitless—

•(Eventually you ask Zenitsu to check it out for you to which he then gives you this incredulous look and yells out: “ARE YOU CRAZY?!” and gets Tanjiro to check it out for the both of you 😐)

•(This is how you guys figure out Inosuke sleep walks.)

-

•You knew you had Zenitsu’s trust when he started to cling onto you and beg you to accompany him before he had to go on a mission. . .

•Sure, he’ll probably do this anyways, but when it becomes more frequent it means that he thinks you’re strong enough to protect him!

•That being said, you’re also now Zenitsu’s proclaimed human shield!

•Yeah, good luck with that.

•If you’re a girl, he casually slips in marriage proposals in the oddest of situations.

•“A-Ah, (Name), I don’t know if I’ll make it. . . Maybe if you marry me, I’ll live—”

•“Look, (Name)! The cherry blossoms are in full bloom! This must be a premonition from the gods for our marriage.”

•“WHAT IF I DON’T COME BACK FROM THIS MISSION?!” “but you always do—” “PROMISE ME YOU’LL MARRY ME AND I’LL COME BACK ALIVE, C’MON (NAME)—”

•then 🪦, zenitsu.

•Please remember to encourage Zenitsu! He has a terrible tendency to run away from things he doesn’t want to do or thinks are too dangerous for him to handle.

•Just tell him he’s doing great and to keep it up! He’ll just get super flattered and say: “Oh, wow! Thanks, (Name), I know you guys can’t do anything without me anyways~”

•Whatever toots his horn, y’know?

•Just train or fight side-by-side with him. Knowing that someone has his back and will push with him is both grounding and encouraging to the lightning-struck boy.

•Zenitsu gets really emotional when he thinks about his Gramps, so when he starts to talk about how he misses to ex-Hashira, try and comfort him </3

•If you’re a scaredy cat like Zenitsu, then you both make extremely elaborate escape plans to dip out when you guys are scared 😐

-

•You knew you had Tanjiro’s trust when he gave you Nezuko’s box to hold!

•We know Nezuko is incredibly important to Tanjiro, so for him to leave her in your protection means that he trusts you immensely.

•Tanjiro praises you! A lot!! And if you like head pats, then he gives you a lot too!!

•Tanjiro has a tendency to push himself past his limits and get an incredible ton of injuries after every fight with a demon, especially with upper Kizuki.

•You can alleviate the stress and injuries by fighting alongside Tanjiro! If you back him up when he starts to get tired and needs time to recover, he appreciates it more than you’ll ever know.

•If you tell Tanjiro that he’s amazing, then he’s flushed for a second before shooting a compliment back at you.

• “Aw, thanks, (Name)! I wouldn’t have been able to do it without your incredible talents though, eheh. . .”

•Shoot one right back at him and you guys will be stuck in a continuous exchange of your admiration for each other.

•This happens often.

•Please keep an eye out for this kid, he spends so much time looking out for everyone else and never gives himself that kind of proper attention :( He’s so selfless, you have to take care of him yourself—

•Does dumb things with you when you feel sad. Like having eating contests, seeing who can cut the biggest rock, seeing who can split the ocean on some moses shit 🥶, generally stuff that’ll help take your mind off of whatever’s making you sad.

-

•You knew you had Nezuko’s trust when she started to just follow you around in her small form <3 Just trotted behind you while you did whatever.

•She also comes to your aid in battle if she knows Tanjiro’s alright by himself.

•She likes to play simple games with you due to being reduced to a childlike state because of the whole demon thing.

•Handclap games, cards, or kickball! She might get a little too excited and kick the ball hard enough to take your head off.

•nezuko please :,)

•Obviously she’s really sorry when she does this and just opts to relax with you instead.

•Nap with her! She only needs to sleep when she needs to recover energy from regenerating, so other than that she just sleeps cause she likes too. That or to pass the time.

•If you agree to nap with her for a little bit, she becomes ecstatic and cuddles you enough to the point where you can’t move! So even if you wanted to change your mind, you can’t leave—

•Nezuko can’t really talk with a muzzle (duh) so she usually just whines and growls to communicate with you.

•You’re totally sure she purred once.

-

•Convince them all to have a nightly meditation session!

•Nezuko can’t stay still for too long and will probably wonder off, but if she sits in your lap to keep her still, she’ll stay there.

•Inosuke only stays and meditates with you guys because you have to make it sound like a challenge.

• “Hey, Inosuke, we’re about to mediate and see who can reach zen the fastest!”

• “is. . . (name) how could you be fOOLISH ENOUGH TO CHALLENGE A BEAST LIKE ME? I’LL REACH ZEN BEFORE ALL OF YOU—”

•Zenitsu tends to mumble during it because he thinks of it as a cleanse and let’s out all his inner thoughts. (This includes random ear-piercing screams that startles everyone.)

•Tanjiro sits in front of you and meditates when you’re by yourselves. He says it helps you guys connect better, and it kind of does.

•After all, you don’t need to talk to bond.

•(He always apologizes if he sneezes or something and breaks concentration.)

-

•Tanjiro, when he comes back from certain missions, brings back gifts! If he the place he went to had things that reminded him of the gang, he bought it and brought it back.

•This causes a ripple effect in your group and everyone starts to do it occasionally.

•some less than others lMAO

•Inosuke’s always excited to get gifts and he’s super loud about it.

• “What is it, (Gamabunko, [Your Name mispronounced], Sleeping Dork)? Huh? Huh?! IS IT A SNAKE?? A DEMON?! YOU BROUGHT ME A DEMON?! I’LLFIGHTITRIGHTNOWWATCHME—”

•Zenitsu’s reaction is more subtle, but he’s always a little surprised when he gets a gift. He doesn’t know, but it always feels really nice and appreciates whatever he gets. (He’s a little shy about it.)

•Tanjiro is always pleasantly surprised when you get him something, though he’ll insist that you didn’t need to get him anything. He appreciates whatever you got him regardless.

•Nezuko nuzzles into you for the next thirty minutes as a thank you :) She does little growls to express her thanks.

•Tanjiro tends to get you trinkets that relate to your personality. He gives you things like candles, a gun, jewelry, books, and more! It’s actually a variety of things. If Tanjiro thinks you’ll like it, he buys it!

-

•Can you sing? Good! Can’t? Good luck.

•Nezuko will “ask” you to sing for her. Asking being her just tugging on your (color, patterned insert) kimono and giving you puppy dog eyes.

•When you start singing her lullabies (because you’re going to give in eventually 😭), she plops down next to you, closes her eyes, and leans on you.

•Chances are Inosuke will sit down and listen with the she-demon.

•It reminds him of how his mother used to sing to him, so he finds it soothing regardless if your voice is scratchy or cracks.

•Inosuke falls asleep on you most of the time, so now you’re flanked on both sides—

•Zenitsu may walk in and once he sees Nezuko out of her box, then he’s by her side in milliseconds. You’re debating on if he used a lightning breathing technique to get there so fast.

•The blond boy also falls asleep because of the lullaby and from holding Nezuko comfortably in his arms.

•Tanjiro usually shows up last and is the most tired, so when he sees you guys all laying down on each other, he doesn’t pass up the opportunity.

•Tell him to rest his head on your lap instead since the other kids are trapping your sides (your arms lost feeling a little bit ago).

•Tanjiro’ll request you to sing a song that was from his childhood and before he slips into dreamland, he compliments your sing sleepily. Then, he’s out.

•He used to do this with his siblings, so it feels nice to do it again.

•Congrats! Now you can’t move :) but now you have a bunch of sleepy demon slayers + demon sleeping on top of you.

•When you guys are all asleep in that cuddle pile, Shinobu checks in on you all.

•To say she thinks it’s cute is an understatement.

-

•In conclusion, no day is ever boring with these guys!

•They all care for you and go out of their way to fight and/or protect you in battle.

•Even after everything (vague for those of you that haven’t finished the manga :)) your bond with them stays as strong as it’s ever been (maybe even stronger) and you guys are even boisterous friends as old quacks.

•You care for them too <3

end

a/n: wooo! brain rot again!! 😭 sorry for any mistakes, y’all

thanks for reading!

[madstronaut]

OMFG OMFG OMFG SHE UPDATED JOHNNY BOY!!!!!!!!!

GOD WHERE DO I EVEN FUCKIN START

emma telling mama her secrets?!?!

can she smell johnny on mama oh god the awkwardness

mama equating whats best for her is (not) whats best for emma re: (failing spectacularly at) pushing johnny away?

mama disdaining charlie aka mr. mid milquetoast fuckboi but putting up with him cos she hates johnny even more? RAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH

so many fuckin bangers in this chappie, a selection of some (not all) of my faves below: 

“You searched around for anger, or even mild irritation, but it was gone, used up entirely by Johnny.”

“Why couldn’t you just let sleeping dogs lie?”

“That was the thing that made you consider it. Johnny. He was your kryptonite, your achilles heel, and you needed to burn his touch off your skin.” cue me biting my pillow to ABSOLUTE FUCKING SHREDS

“He wouldn’t share food with anyone, not even Tom, but if you asked he would always tear whatever it was in half and put it on your plate.”

“Johnny texted back something enthusiastic and barely legible.” LMAO picturing him just responding something super scottish and/or switching to gaelic cos hes so excited

also fucking obsessed with the full moon behavior lore and also johnny absolutely running to text her back immediately

“You planned on grabbing it for her for Christmas, a token of your appreciation for her help with Emma.” also smol sidenote but this is just an adorable lil touch i love friends who do this <3 (and try to do this for my friends as well)

“To see it for what it was felt…odd. You had heard about wolves claiming human spouses, putting a bite on their throat like a wedding band and never, ever letting go.” hahaha mama’s confusion 100 and brain bluescreening trying to comprehend johnny’s feelings for her is very relatable

“You didn’t think it was possible to hurt Johnny, but you did. It flashed across his eyes, his jaw tightening into a straight line.” YAHAHAHAH BOTH CLUTCHING MY CHEST AT THE ANGST BUT ALSO REVELING IN HOW DEEELICIOUS IT IS

“I’m not a good man, kitty. Hell, I’m not even a man, not really. I know I’ve hurt you, and I’ll repent every fuckin’ day for it, but if you let him touch you, I’ll gut him like a goddamn fish.” slow clapping at this whole exchange - mama being able to hold her ground and look him in the eye to cut him right back with her words while he literally has his claws sinking into her is E X A C T L Y why you’re such a good match for johnny, just give up no never stop fighting it is fucking hot as hell

"Your words weren’t working–they were working him up instead, like Emma when she watched the neighbor’s squirrels chase each other in the trees." fucking l o v e this line and also how from her outsider's perspective re: wolfish ways is also sorta from the inside thanks to emma

"Emma shouldn’t see Mum and Dad argue.” yes “arguing” indeed is that what they call it these days

"The audacity of men." a-fucking-men indeed

"You took a bite, just to appease them. You could still feel the small, stinging cuts his claws had scraped on your jaw." honestly feeling v empathetic for reader - when i am in emotional turmoil food just tastes like ash and i get an upset stomach afterwards even if im physically starving and eating something delicious

RAAAAAAAAAAA @ghostgorlsworld sending you so many smooches and chef's kisses for these developments MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH 😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌

guess wot my fellow hoes (fellhoes?) you’re getting a two-fer-one deal

obligatory alpha post link below:

because I have been deep in my werewolf/hybrid!CODmen fixation while I was drunk off reading moondrunk I decided to take a break...

....by reading johnny boy and i dont want to even look at that ao3 history stat that tells you how many times you've visited this story IT IS A LOT

my record for one of my comfort stories is 79 times and that was back in january last i looked, and it doesn't count the copypaste backup i have in my notes in case of airplane mode. don't look at me rn (cough obligatory @the-californicationist G&G reference/tag here)

ANYWAY MOVING ON 🐺🐺🐺

Reading: Moondrunk Monster by @ghostgorlsworld

so I went to watch the Love Death Robots episode referred to here and UNFFFF forgot how good that whole series was! wolflovers, go watch the Shape-Shifters episode from S1

once again i love a good fleshed-out reader backstory and this one is no exception

also as a certified graves simp the spittake I had to clean up at reading the phrase “Captain Graves”

also wolf-friendly pain medication? please i would happily read an appendix or endnotes/footnotes about the lore/worldbuilding here <3

"They weren’t used to humans being kind to them."🥺🥺🥺🥺

me to myself: tbh in many ways this is the world we are living in rn

that line about reader sleeping in the back of the med bay reminded me of this famous pic I saw way back when:

U.S. Army nurse Amy Stuart of the 5th MASH unit deployed in Saudi Arabia naps on a cot while hugging a teddy bear sent by her family during Operation Desert Storm (February 22, 1991)

getting a little too real but at my age, always hurts my heart and deeply disturbs me to see people younger than me who i consider children going off to/waging war COUGH ANYWAY SRY ESCAPING REALITY BACK TO FANFIC-

piney has such a succinct, tight way of writing to set the scene and story premise up so well - fucking salivating at ghost taking reader to their tent and him getting miffed at her sitting on soap’s bunk until she sits on his <3 LMAO I SEE YOU GHOSTY YOU LITTLE LOVESICK PUPPY YOU~

You glanced down, seeing the Scottish flag on the wall, the photos of a couple that looked exactly like Johnny. “Oh, sorry.” 

ok but also johnny WOULD have selfies of himself up on his own bunk

“ahm easy on the eyes, aint i LT”

“shut it”

You were American, so you didn’t have much taste for tea unless it was iced and sweet. 

me, a rabid tea swiller, raising my hand: UM NOT ALL AMERICANS HATE “TREE PISS” AS TED LASSO CALLS IT OKAY (okay but I love that show so much)

unfff wolf!ghost crowding reader into his own bed forcing her to sleep in it is just *so many chef’s kisses*

Gaz was healed within a day, coming to visit you with a Snickers bar as thanks. “I’ve been saving it for an occasion,” he said. “Wolves…well, we can’t really have chocolate without quite a bit of pain so I thought I would give it to you instead. As thanks.” 

ok this was the most adorable loredrop ever also literally heartbroken at the idea they can’t enjoy chocolate!!!!

The adjustments were freezing slabs of raw beef and plating it up still half-frozen. this reminded me of this frozen organic dog chow i kept getting insta ads for after dogsitting for a friend (if u can hear this siri/insta ad algorithms, FUCK YOU RESPECT MY PRIVACY) anyway in the ad the way the person plated it for their dog and the way their dog ate it with such gusto made me, a human, want to try the dog food lol

“Not everyone in America lives in Texas, Soap.”

👏thank👏 you👏facts👏

You smiled. “A small town in Oklahoma.”

“Bloody hell, that’s just Texas.”

👏also👏 facts👏 (don’t come for me texans this new yorker will (lovingly) fuck you up; god bless amurica)

He was wearing gloves, as always, but they were warm when he pressed them against the scars, fitting his fingers into the obvious claw marks.

The 141 was silent, watching Ghost with a mixture of surprise and horror. Price looked as if he were about to intervene, his knuckles white around his fork.

i fucking l o v e this entire scene

They were still strangers to you, but the base felt too quiet without them, and your skin felt bare without Ghost’s stare upon it.

i am shivering at how good this sentence is

ghost: has a record for being more wolf than human and acts of aggression against humans

also ghost: makes tea for reader regularly when she can’t sleep

also reader if you’re having a eat-three-powdered-donuts-in-one-sitting kind of day, you eat that whole box girl no one will fault you for it <3

Ghost hummed, then came the unmistakable sound of licking the sugar off his fingers. There had also been blood on his fingertips, from the night’s previous activities.

You don’t want to think about why that makes your belly clench. 

😏😏😏we love the feral ones

also unexpected gifts are some of the best ones

i felt the adrenaline of the humvee ambush like i was watching a live action movie - i could picture the entire scenes very easily in my head <3

and ghost taking off her boots >>>>>>>>

A man in a skull mask was asleep in the chair in front of you, his head tipped back against the wall, his legs relaxed and spread wide. 

ah yes, classic submission position~

The meek little nurse that had put a Colonel’s son in the ER. 

meek is one of my favorite words. i have heard an alternate definition for this as “meekness is great power under control” and it stuck in my head ever since; pls bow before medic reader my meek badass queen

Your heart raced. It was such a human instinct, to see a predator and want to either kiss it or run from it. 

ah yes imho the heart of why wolf/hybrid and enemies-to-lovers etc. etc. etc. tropes and fics are so popular~

Ghost seemed to like your attention, his ears perked at the top of his head. It was oddly endearing, and you normally considered yourself a cat person.

hehe big ghost wolf, smol floppy ears - i will not let this image leave my head

ok and the wolflore about the recessive genes!! eating it all up <3

also i know this is a ghostfic but soap blushing and mumbling bout his coffeeshop crush is soo <333333333

"you’re too young to feel old and miserable like me.” Soap smiled, a bit of cheer back in his eye. “You’re only three years older’n me, lass, I wouldn’t call ye old.”

literally me to anyone <30/even a year younger than me

"ALSO, yes i'm setting up for a future soap/cafe!reader fic"

okay the unholy screech that erupted from me at reading this author’s note i’m-

Graves sat in a simple metal chair, cool, calm and collected without a single blonde hair out of place. 

me fully knowing graves isnt even doing anything here, just sitting: go off, king

“I wasn’t going to let that boy take my soul, sir,” you said calmly. “Not for something as worthless as a career.”

well said indeed <3

You wondered if he would come visit you, if you asked. If he would sit in your dusty, frilly living room and drink from your pumpkin shaped mugs.

PUMPKIN-SHAPED MUGS <3 <3 <3

Price looked up from a paperback, a twitch in his brow. He preferred to keep out of conflicts between the pack, only interfering when blood was spilled. 

oh please my headcanon for price is that he inhales gossip like oxygen and keeps it filed and sorted alphabetically and chronologically in his mind palace to pull up as needed

They were on active duty, for Christ’s sake, it wasn’t like he could bend her over against one of those cots and stake his claim,  COUGHOMGWHYTHEEVERLOVINGFUCKNOTCOUGH no matter how badly he wanted to.  

The 141 hunted at night, so during the day Gaz and Soap would occasionally bring you a muffin for breakfast or a stray cup of coffee. Even Price, the fatherly man he was, brought you one of his extra novels to read while you were awake during the night shift, one of those cheesy detective thrillers that helped you get through the night without passing out on a patient.

who doesn’t love familial!141 🥰🥰

it’s nice to remind yourself that you’re still a simple woman that appreciates a nice mani-pedi and a good hair day.

this is so real - taking care of yourelf/reminding urself to feel human is so important <3

You had the rank and the experience, so of course, you got the lion’s share of reports. ahem this a small almost throwaway line but much appreciated - LEADERSHIP IS FOR SERVICE. TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN FOR THOSE UNDER YOU, AND LIFT THEM UP. TAKE THE HITS SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO - ONES THEY AREN’T EVEN AWARE OF IF YOU’RE GOOD AT IT. anyway stepping down once again from my soapbox-

ah reader i can think of many MANY MANY spicy ways to motivate ghosty to do his patriotic duty~

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

AND ALSO Reading: Johnny Boy by @ghostgorlsworld

first off being thrown into the deep end of the incredible lorebuilding had me ready to swim and dive deep without even taking a breath of reality because the story!!!! the worldbuilding!!!! absolutely immaculate

a recurring daydream/brainrot scenario ive gone back to time and again with my blorbos through the years is getting knocked up with their spawn and having to escape and go on the run and hide the child then have an implausibly wild reunion, often with some physically impossible makeup sex and then birth my own private sports team's worth of children to build our world empire (drama, romance, intrigue, adventure - i would buy out opening night tickets to the movieplots my brain spits out, anyway ty for coming to my BedTedTalk) anyway this has such a unique niche in the CODfics ive read with the almost enemies-to-lovers-back-to-enemies flavoring with brother’s best friend trope in play

on that note, shaking tom’s hand vigorously for sneaking johnny back into reader’s life, then backhanding him with my other hand - also for sneaking johnny back into reader’s life

cute-ass mactavish sire emma needs to eat raw meat to survive? her supernatural senses make her an old soul in a child’s body? no further comments, absolute perfection. i love the explorations of “hey scenting/being a hybrid, ESPECIALLY growing up as one, ain’t all its cracked up to be and is not just all 100% sexy times and funsies” and her picking up on mom being sad all the time a certain someone is near and declaring “if mommy doesn’t like him, I don’t either” just UGGHHHH i just want to give her a hug and tell her it will all work out, shes is in good hands (including but not limited to her own!) also tear the throat out of anyone who would dare steal her childhood (fistbumping my fellow immigrant first gen firstborns&eldest daughters who had to grow up too fast/take care of adults)

also one of the reasons i love this fic is the very fierce and protective love reader has for her emma and their really beautiful bond <3 fanfic can be so healing and tender in very unexpected ways and their relationship slipped past all my walls and armor and just stuck me right in the feels <3

the conversation about grandpa jack haunting them and turning the book pages for him was so sweet i think my molars rotted away on the spot, 🥺🥺🥺 piney i will be billing you for my dental visit expenses; be prepared to pay cos ive always wanted to secretly try out grillz as a new yorker girlie 

also random brainrot but 1000% positive grandpa jack was a fucking hottie in his glory days (underground fighting rings? picturing tyler durden rn)

also please give mama reader a fucking medal, cutting up raw meats and organs first thing in the morning (EVERY morning) is a feat indeed

also johnny/reader’s first meeting at the funeral home is absolutely exquisite, the perfect amount of drama and angst!!! raaaaaa biting my pillow and tearing it to pieces

- reader’s physical reaction to the “he’s behind me, isn’t he” revelation

- johnny’s physical glow-up described through reader’s eyes is just UNFFFF *chef’s kiss*

- reader going straight into panic/mama bear mode re: emma

- “it could have been longer, john” HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY ICE COLD QUEEN PLEASE I CANNOT KNEEL BEFORE YOU FASTER OR I’LL BREAK MY KNEECAPS

- “your voice so cold it stung your tongue as you spoke. The ache in your chest was overtaken by rage, pure and hot. “Excuse me.” i am f e r a l for this line, this is PERFECTION i can taste the emotions here like viscerally on my tongue 

- honestly kudos to reader for not punching tom’s lights out when she’s running to get emma from him

“I don’t care.” You wanted to scream. You wanted to cry. You wanted to dig your nails into his skin and hurt him like he hurt you. “We don’t need you, we never needed you. I loved you, and you left for years . Deal with the consequences.”

Johnny Mctavish, a wolf, a soldier, flinched from you. 

It wasn’t the victory you thought it would be.

AAAAAAAA YES THIS IS ME AS I READ THIS REVELING IN THE ANGST

also the last line of ch1 being “Forget him. John always runs.” and summary of Ch2 being “Johnny comes home.” ????? gonna run out of my lipstick giving chef’s kisses to piney here

the way piney fleshes out reader and her story and history with johnny just makes me want to give her a ginormous hug, also like an all-expenses paid weeklong vacation to the maldives or something for the absolute bullshit she’s endured (might have to join you on this though dear reader my salary/responsibilities working in [redacted] means i also need an all-expense paid weeklong vacation to the maldives)

also I FUCKING SUSPECTED JOHNNY WAS SECRETLY TRYING TO SCENT READER WHEN HE SNUCK UP ON HER TO GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO SURPRISE HER BY PUTTING HIS MITTS ON HER SHOULDER; i love that emma picked up on this through her nose

“Because you still smell like me, kitty.” brain going brrrr being overloaded with conspiracy theories about teh many layers what this may mean

wolves were different from normal men. Territorial. 

me, reading about fictional territorial wolfmen on tumblr: 🥰🥰🥰

me, reading about IRL men being ‘territorial’: 🤢🤢🤢

“Grandpa was like me,” she said, loyal as always. 

i’ll be totally honest the character i fell head over heels with in this story was not johnny taking first place no - EMMA MACTAVISH MY HEART <3 i hope my future children will be brave, kind, wise, funny and compassionate like you <3

It seemed that the only person suffering in this situation was you.

this line + the short almost throwaway line of reader “laughing wetly” just before it just ughhh my heartache! shoutout to all the hardworking parents/caregivers simply Trying Their Best And Getting No Recognition™️ (madstronaut sees you and applauds you, great is your reward in heaven and or the pits of tumblrhell, dealer’s choice)

“It wasn’t your decision to make, Tom,” you said, your voice reaching that pitch that made you feel like your mother. god this got too real, when i hear myself sound like my mother sometimes (esp. when im mad) i literally narrow my eyes at my own reflection and have to check myself before i wreck myself iykyk

also freaking love the lore about hybrids/wolves being discriminated against in society and johnny’s own experience and pitfalls navigating the world! lorebuilding>>>>>>>>>>>>

You were dressed more appropriately this time, a Black Sabbath tee and sweats, your work clothes of pencil skirts, trousers, and wool sweaters currently drying on the laundry lines in the backyard. 

ok reader i see you my little rocker <3 you would love saint vitus bar in brooklyn; make tom or johnny watch emma so we can headbang to our heart’s content and you can enjoy a well-deserved night out <3 (on that note #REOPENVITUSYOUCOWARDS)

Emma two-handed it, just like you tell her to. It seemed she was trying to be on her best behavior, the little traitor.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH EMMA YOU LITTLE DEVIOUS ADORABLE SHIT (said goodnaturedly) I LOVE THIS LINE SO MUCH

Something in your chest squeezed when Johnny tucked the blanket around Emma’s skinny arms, more gentle than you had ever seen him.

ok though real talk men being gentle and tender, esp. around kiddos - hi, yes please sirs you can indeed help me mop my panties off the floor

Susan didn’t know what to do with a little boy that chewed on the furniture and got sick when she didn’t let him eat raw meat. 

i physically need to see fanart of young wolf!soap gnawing on an armchair leg

This was why you liked Charlie, he was so, so reasonable. 

hello charlie or as i like to call you “walking beige flag” the way i would roast him if i was bffs with reader..

also emma drawing that wolf catcher memory and waiting until soap was there to show it to both him and reader - AAGGGGH I freaking loved this and how clever this is i can do an entire pepe silvia conspiracy board meme breakdown of why and how much i loved this whole interaction

emma knowing it is a tough memory for her mama but choosing to draw and show it specifically to johnny - and waiting til they are all in each other’s presences (presence? idk)

i can see reader fighting (a losing battle lets be honest this is johnny fucking mactavish) tooth and nail so far to maintain the armor of assumptions and explanations she’s told herself to deal with the pain of being in love then (from her pov) rejected and how this has bled into how she paints johnny to emma despite her best efforts 

and yet as they say sometimes the body says and knows what the mind/heart cannot say yet and 1000% sure that little miss wolf emma mactavish loves her mom but is also sure that momma isn’t sure on where she stands with johnny

also ALSO the fact that jack raised both johnny and emma HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING RIGHT - even though they’ve just met i love the little tidbits of the special wolf-to-wolf and father/daughter connection they have

AND AND AND so my grand theory here is that i believe emma made and showed this drawing to johnny because from what she knows - she perceives mama reader to despise johnny on the surface, yet still wants him - but based on what she’s told her about johnny, thinks johnny may not want mama - and drew this to prove mama is still worthy and a great protector - “You haven’t got any teeth or claws but it didn’t matter.” - and “showing her off” to johnny COUGH ANYWAY THAT’S WHERE I’LL END MY THESIS TYVM

also i love the bits sprinkled around the fic about johnny’s eyes sparkling eerie/brighter when he gets worked up

Perhaps all the war and killing really was good for his temperament.

HAHAHAHA OKAY SHIT, MAMA, WHO IS THE DELULU ONE NOW????????? (tbh it’s me, hi im the probl-)

johnny trying to find excuses to spend his PMC savings & money on reader + emma - IRL me and my bills & student loans crying laughing hysterically at reader turning this down

“Shut up!” Tommy said, frowning at you from the couch. “Fuck, lovie, he’s a friend from work.”

The man in the mask raised a hand in an awkward wave.

HAHAHAHHA SIMON!!! his entrance totally threw me off but ofc tom’s SHUT UP (true sibling energy right here, no greeting, just yells) and simon’s lil wave just UGGGGGGGHHHH such a nice palate cleanser from the intense but delicious angst - also tipping my hat at the subtle way to introduce Bi!Tommy with the “he’s not company he’s a guest” line 😏

You felt Simon’s eyes on you, judging, appraising. You were sure Johnny probably didn’t have the nicest things to say about you–most likely that you were an irritating little girl that followed him around for twenty years then proceeded to get pregnant and raise the child without him knowing,

would love to know what and how TF141 thinks of mama reader from how johnny has described her…despite her own misgivings <3

Johnny was an unsuspecting kind of violent, always smiling and laughing until he wasn’t, until it was serious.

Simon was different. He felt older. 

aaaaaa this is SUCH a good characterisation of them both

You had missed him like a lost limb-

ooh i absolutely love this phrase! I have one person in my life i went through a friend breakup with (iykyk - these are more painful than romantic breakups imho) and we mended things and discovered afterwards we both referred to our break in our friendship as ‘having lost a limb’ to other folks (!) sometimes birds of a feather really do flock together

 “It’s just…we’re adults, and adults have tricky feelings. preach mama 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

but also pls mama i know you have a kiddo but putting on nail polish right before a date? nooooooooooooooooo though chanel polishes ARE superior cos of that fat brush so all is forgiven <3

also obligatory FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK to charlie for forgetting the date, do you EVEN KNOW THE SUFFERING WE PUT OURSELVES THROUGH TO GET READY FOR A DATE? TO GET READY TO FACE THE WORLD OUTSIDE OUR DOOR, PERIODT?

IF SOMEONE DID THIS TO ONE OF MY GIRLIES I WILL BE READY TO FUCKING SHOW SOMEONE’S BITCH ASS THAT YOU DO NOT NEED TEETH AND CLAWS INDEED TO GET RIGHT FUCKED UP

anyway climbing down from my soapbox on behalf of women everywhere, back to the fic

as a tiny tiny redeemable bit - charlie having weekly dinners with his gran is a huge green flag trait

He stilled, looking at you. His hand came up, pinching your chin like he used to. “You havnae called me Johnny in a very long time.” The rawness of his voice broke you down into someone you used to be, someone that loved him.

me, extremely pleased, reading this: ah yes, in vino veritas~

The alcohol had dampened the anger in your chest, you felt…open. Open to talking about it. Bleeding the poison from the wound.

<3 <3 <3 this line <3 <3 <3

irl sidenote: u can also do this without alcohol my friends <3 trusted friends, therapy, long retreats into nature, safe places, safe people all very effective and cutting right to the heart in the gentlest ways possible, painful but highly recommend over the alternative (and lesser) options of keeping the poison inside <3 

Within a blink, Johnny was kneeling before you, his hands on your knees as his eyes bored into yours. You felt a chill, a whisper of fight or flight pricking your neck at his predatory stare.

ahem hello this is it

this is what does it for me

kneelng for your prey <3

also i love that their first real physical intimate contact after reuniting, beyond that hug after the wolf catcher story, is johnny LICKING reader’s tears off her face

“All I had was a picture and letters, but I could get off just from you writing that you missed me, just from your smell lingering on the fucking paper.” whats that phrase? marines make do? 🥰🥰🥰

me, reading about lacy underwear getting shredded: mmmmf yes sexxxxxyyyy

also me: ok i just know that was expensive, cringing inside at having to replace it

also fics that have men talking to ur pussy as they take care of it >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I CANNOT WAIT FOR READER TO WAKE UP AND SCREAM AT HERSELF 

[abduct-me-helen]

r/legaladvice

Posted by u/ebouchard 2 months ago

My husband has embarrassed me at the annual institute holiday party for the last time. I want another divorce.

My husband, soon to be ex-husband if all goes as planned, was leering at an archival assistant the other day. He also had a bit too much to drink, and started talking about various…personal activities that I would’ve preferred be undisclosed. Now, I’ve divorced him before, but this time he seems fit to antagonize me and not sign the papers. Not just that, but he’s also disappeared, which isn’t uncommon but is still frustrating when I’m trying to divorce him. He always gets in a hissy fit when I divorce him, but this time he’s just being petty.

Is there a way to divorce him without needing to track him down in order to have him sign the papers? He’s the captain of a ship and when he gets…petulant, he often sails for a few months before returning to his moorhouse. During these times, it’s notoriously hard to contact him, much less find him.

tl;dr: my husband ran away in an attempt to be petty and now I can’t divorce him. What do I do?

Edit: Please stop making remarks on the healthiness of our relationship. It’s none of your business, and we are perfectly fine.

Edit: We got divorced again since I made the first post.

Edit: We are now remarried again.

 crawbed008 3.1k points · 2 weeks ago

    | He always gets in a hissy fit when I divorce him, but this time he’s just being petty.

wait, what do you mean by “always”??

     ebouchard 1.5k points · 2 weeks ago

             whenever I try to divorce him, he acts petulant.

                  sisenore_k 675 points · 2 weeks ago

                          do you divorce him often lmao???

                                    ebouchard 1.2k points · 2 weeks ago

                                        yes.

                          [expand]

getsome_69 352 points · 1 week ago

            op how many times have you two gotten divorced so far

                 ebouchard 2.1k points · 2 weeks ago

                       six, though there were a few we didn’t go through on legally.

                              kokobura2 126 points · 2 weeks ago

                                        SIX??? good god op why do you even keep remarrying

                                              ebouchard 1.5k points · 2 weeks ago

                                                      money.

                                           stonks 782 points · 2 weeks ago

i know op in rl and the real reason is that they’re the    

only people willing to put up with each other

                                                                                   [expand]

r/relationship_advice

Posted by u/bigboyman 1 month ago

I (48M) feel like my husband is very clingy and I’m a person who needs solitude to survive. What should I do?

My husband is always talking to me. I just want to be left alone, but he just keeps on scheming. He’s always ranting about hiding tapes and the watcher’s crown and it is getting tedious having to listen to his, well, words in general.

How should I ask for more space?

 poorandtiredbutyolo 2.2k points · 2 weeks ago

I have a clingy partner too, and what I do is set clear boundaries. I also make sure to set time towards my partner outside of those times when I’m alone, like having dinner every night and having movie/games night once a week.

      bigboyman 1.5k points · 2 weeks ago

           I interact with him far less already then I would if I did that.

                   asunachan3 203 points · 2 weeks ago

                        how much do you talk to him?                                   

                                     bigboyman 1.5k points · 2 weeks ago

                                               at least once every three months

asunachan3 203 points · 2 weeks ago

                                                                   and you’re MARRIED?!???

                                                                            bigboyman 1.2k points · 2 weeks ago

I know, it’s a lot. You see why I can’t stand him being so clingy?

[expand]

 tania9 421 points · 2 weeks ago

    from reading the replies, I can only assume you hate your husband.

                bigboyman 1k points · 2 weeks ago

                                despise, actually.

 [expand]

Pastasauceandspagett 608 points · 1 month ago

      I don’t know how OP could possibly salvage this relationship if they hate each other and only talk every three months.

bigboyman 4.2k points · 1 week ago

                                The wedding is in four days.

 Allicecarter2002 4.2k points · 1 week ago

                               I thought you were already married??

                                                                      bigboyman 4.2k points · 1 week ago

oh, we got divorced about a week after I made the post and then he proposed again a week after that.

                                                                                                 [expand]

 r/pettyrevenge

Posted by u/notjonnydville 3 weeks ago

I had my archival assistants spit in his tea.

My boss is a huge bastard. He is just, awful. He always looks like you’re amusing him but in that kind of way where he’s looking like you like a meal. He is just a horrible human being. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he killed someone. That’s the kind of person he is.

Anyway, I usually try to keep a professional relationship with my assistants but a few nights ago they invited me to go out for drinks with them and my friend blackmailed me into it. We got hammered. It was a truly…special experience. Ever since then, I’ve been on better terms with them. We even have a groupchat.

The situation goes like this: he’s been ranting to me for the last hour about things I ALREADY KNOW in that pompous, annoying voice of his. Anyway, I texted one of my assistants, I’ll call him M, and M comes in mid rant. I very sternly ask “why haven’t you made [our boss’s name, I’ll refer to him as E] tea yet?”

I kind of put him on the spot and he just stayed there with his jaw dropped. I told him to go make E a cup of tea, so he scurries out.

I wait about 30 seconds and then discretely text the groupchat: “spit in his tea M.”

Anyway, they go absolutely *ballistic* and T, another one of my assistants, sprints halfway across the building (I hear he even knocked into our secretary), just to spit in E’s tea too. My last assistant is a bit wearier but she does it too.

M comes back with the tea and hands it to E before quickly leaving. A few minutes pass and E still hasn’t touched his tea.

So I remind him that M makes very good tea and he’d be disappointed if E didn’t drink it.

There is a quiet battle of wills.

Now, I don’t know how to put this without sounding insane, but our boss…he just *knows* things. He’s psychic, or something like that. There is absolutely NO way he didn’t know the tea was messed with. He knows, he knows I know, and we silently stare at each other without moving.

Finally, *finally*, still making direct eye contact with me, he takes a sip of his tea and purses his lips. I ask him if he isn’t thirsty.

He says he isn’t, and leaves the room. I never did find out what happened to that tea.

tl;dr: I got my archival assistants to spit in my asshole bosses’ tea. It was glorious.

leavemealone 2k points · 2 weeks ago

    holy *shit*, OP, did you ever get in trouble????

           notjonnydville 2.1k points · 2 weeks ago

                   he didn’t have any evidence, so no.

maya_herse331 782 points · 1 week

    did he ever try to get revenge?

           notjonnydville 7.1k points · 2 weeks ago

                   he framed me for murder, but I’m still not sure if that was directly related.

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