Techno and Wilbur not being brothers is so important to me you have no idea
Because them being Tommy's older brothers doesn't actually ever overlap. Wilbur acts as Tommy's brother through most of the stuff with L'Manburg, for better and usually for worse. Then once he's gone and Tommy's lost everyone he finds a new older brother in Techno.
Techno and Wilbur aren't brothers though. When they interacted they were friends at best, and tense at worst. Even if their goals do eventually line up, Wilbur still stabs Techno in the back. He promised destruction for Manberg, before setting up Tommy as a potential leader. He said he was down with anarchy but failed to properly condemn the very governments Technoblade's anarchy-based morality is centered around.
He realized that governments were the cause of all of his problems, but failed to see the bigger picture in regards to how L'Manburg had hurt everyone on the server. One of Wilbur's consistent problems is a failure to see how his actions effect those around him, or to act with a blatant disregard for consequences. And at the point that Technoblade came into his life, there wasn't really much hope for them to ever be the family they could've been.
Wilbur never cared about Techno as a person. He just saw him as
The Blade
An Anarchist
The Revolution
Wilbur knew that without Technoblade he didn't have a revolution and yet he was still willing to disregard Techno's fundamental ideals because he was too narrow minded to see anything else. Too focused on how L'Manburg hurt him, his L'Manburg, and the damage it caused his life. He barely thought of how Techno would feel in regards to his decision.
Techno's just another person Wilbur managed to burn before his death. He wasn't the last.
And when Tommy shows up in the floorboards of Techno's house a month later, after L'Manberg has exiled him and Techno has nearly lost everything to tyranny, and he has a hope that maybe this time things will be better. Tommy's young, still learning, and he's been through a lot at the hands of corrupt men wielding power.
Maybe this time Techno can have someone agree with his ideals and actually stick to it.
He humors Tommy, shelters him, but treats him as he'd treat anybody. Tommy's a nuisance, and Techno might yell at him for taking his stuff for the third time this week, but he'll never kick Tommy out. Not after he's been abandoned to this extent. Not after Tommy has suffered the hand he was nearly dealt at his botched execution.
Techno almost lost everything. Tommy did lose everything.
Techno becomes an older brother figure to a scared and grieving and traumatized Tommy, a wounded child grasping onto the last straws of normalcy he has as he watches everything he's ever known slip through his finger tips. Techno is willing to take Wilbur's place, to act as a role model to Tommy during hard times. To stay strong and teach him important values to carry through future hardships in life. Techno wants so badly for Tommy to be a proper younger brother to him.
And then he makes the same mistake his brother made.
Tommy disregards Techno.
In his desperate attempt to hold onto those strands of normalcy Tommy reaches for something he's always known in favor of the potential chaos of Techno. Tommy is trying to stick to what he knows, what he used to have, to Tubbo, to his discs, to anything that reminds him of all he's lost so he can feel like he has it back. He fails to see that Techno could have been a source of that familiarity, that Techno was trying to be the island of stability while he was crashing in the waves.
Instead Tommy takes Tubbo's outstretched hand and climbs into the lifeboat they've always been floating in together, not realizing that in doing so he has awakened a great storm that will leave him with less than he had before.
In the immediate comfort of familiarity Tommy fails to realize the consequences of his own actions, and proves that in spite of all the posturing he's done about changing, about growing, about being a bigger and better man, he's a frightened child with the worst habits of his family.
When Tommy stabs Techno in the back, he reopens an old wound
After all, those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it
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