#oh also yeah these are definitely separate people lmfao

[lightningfilledsaber]

i read your tags on that one post and it's insane how close our experiences were. im certain it was a different trans woman but i had the EXACT same experience with a man-hating transphobic autistic sex pest trans woman who was afraid of being treated like a predator but was fine treating other people the same way. you're not the only one who's suffered this way and im glad you were able to get out of there too

While I do appreciate the support from this ask (and this is not meant with any aggressive/mean/etc tone toward you at all!) I do want to be very, very, clear; I would not describe my ex friend as a sex pest at all. Not even necessarily "man-hating," either, though she definitely had a gender essentialism issue she needed to deal with. I'm not comfortable going into detail but not only did I not have a single sexual experience with her, there are only two incidences I was made to feel sexually uncomfortable around/by her specifically, it was at worst a miscommunication issue. But really it was just sometimes you do or say something that accidentally makes someone uncomfortable but doesn't necessarily cause harm. That's how I feel about those instances, though in the context of all their other behavior, was still by virtue uncomfortable and something I would've liked to hold them accountable for (though AGAIN, not because I feel they were being sexually predatory, this is just a very nuanced situation)

The situation and relationship I had with both of them was very, very nuanced. I'm still struggling over how to identify certain things and processing the sheer amount of shit I was put through; but at the end of the day, most of the harm was perpetuated by her partner, my ex best friend. She was absolutely not innocent, and did blatantly cross and ignore my boundaries and made me uncomfortable frequently, but I can confidently say it wasn't sexual. Neither she or her partner are sex pests or sexual predators or anything like that.

Now that that's out of the way! Genuinely thank you for this ask. I'm deeply sorry you had a similar experience and it's very reassuring to hear I'm not alone lol. It's not something I always feel comfortable talking about, as I don't want to invite terf rhetoric painting trans women as inherent predators, but also there's been this idea in certain queer circles recently to "combat" that rhetoric (which only ends up spewing the same man-bad, woman-good gender essentialism but in a trans "INCLUSIVE" way) by saying that somehow trans women are incapable of doing wrong which is just as damaging (and isolating to any kind of victim of harmful behavior). In reality, your identity, your background, etc etc does not exempt you from nor does it make you more susceptible to harming others. You can cause harm no matter who you are, and that's why I constantly stress the fact that the issue I have with my ex friends is not just their treatment of me; but the fact that neither of them truly held themselves accountable or WORKED on their behavior at any point and in fact enabled each other's behavior toward me. I have never pretended to be a perfect friend but I know I tried my damndest every single day to communicate clearly and effectively what I would do better (not JUST when an issue arose, but ACTIVELY worked on myself even while things were "good") and what I needed and expected of them. I was instead met with blatant disregard for my comfort, my time, and again my boundaries. They did not give a shit about me, just what I could do for them. And it's isolating as hell when the people who hurt you are also trans themselves. Especially when they fear judgement and persecution just for being trans (or their disorders!), while in the same breath doing exactly that to you. I'm glad you were able to get out of your situation as well, thank you again for this ask.

[venomized]

VENOM THE LAST DANCE SPOILERS

listen i need to watch it again to form a proper opinion but overall it's definitely my least favorite out of the three. there were some nice moments and a lot of symbrock yeah sure but the ending felt soooo rushed to me and verged on goofy like i could not take that fuck ass maroon 5 song seriously!!!

i loved how they showed eddie being kinda awful and really miserable and i would just have loooooved to see them do something with that!!! i wanted real character growth!!!!! we just get left off on a very unsatisfying place regarding their relationship and eddie's life In My Opinion. like sure they love each other we established that but it doesn't feel like they really got to grow out of the buddy-buddy bickering we got in ltbc and i know tld picks up right where ltbc left us so it's not like i was expecting some huge shift or for them to actually make symbrock canon but MAN I DON'T KNOW give us something at least

anyway the "we've been together for a year?" and the scenes with the family and venom saying eddie would be a good dad etc were all great but i still think we could've gotten more out of the movie. it just felt to me like they were building up to something and then it fucking ended. like what i thought was build up was the fucking climax of the movie. my mouth actually dropped when the title card appeared bc i really did not think they'd end it like that but they DID. THEY DID

although i'm mad as hell about them ending up separated i really liked their goodbye scene tom hardy truly is on another level bc how does he have chemistry with a fucking cgi alien. genuinely thought they were gonna smooch there for a second LMFAO it reminded me a lot of that insane sexually charged tom/austin scene in the bikeriders. crazy!

i'm not gonna talk too much about the plot itself bc i don't really love knull and the whole symbiote hivemind bs the last couple comic runs established so i knew going into it that it wasn't gonna appeal to me all that much but there are like . some inconsistencies lol but tbh the first two are also not all that great plot wise either so i won't hold it against tld too much

lastly i wish they'd have made venom give eddie his suit though, huge missed opportunity

overall i'm just feeling a little bittersweet because it's the last one and i'm sad i didn't love it :( i do need to digest it a little more and hopefully as more people watch it and talk about it i'll be reminded of the good parts and maybe my opinion will change

oh i also spotted a few comic parallels that i thought were pretty cool! eddie laying down venom-less in the middle of rubble and fire like that panel in cates' run, him waking up in the hospital without venom and probably others i can't remember rn lol

but yeah these are just very raw unfiltered thoughts i might change my mind!!! and i will say i am very excited to see people's reactions and what the fandom will make out of what they've given us

[akaikali]

TMAGP EP 23 REACTION (SPOILERS)

More Sam and Lena interactions????

This response department thing is genuinely bothering me. Everyone seems so convinced that it doesn't exist which means it probably DOES exist and is not a good thing. Sam you REALLY shouldn't be filling out those forms, methinks...

Lena trying push him away from the paperwork is suspicious, it actually makes me more certain that he's basically inviting in some monster since it's clear that Lena does want to keep her employees alive and mostly unharmed.

"I see" (She doesn't) FUCKING SENDING

yall I saw "alnewman" and went ALEX NEWMAN??? as if Alex's name isn't Alex Newall I'm an idiot

Piece? Better me? This is reminding me of uhhh ep 2 or 3? The lady that used herself as a canvas? For a moment I thought they meant "piece" like an art piece and I was wondering if it might be an Ink5oul case but nope.

So I'm thinking this probably a person going down the route to becoming a...External? Avatar? Whatever Ink5oul, Mr. Bonzo, and uhhh the old lady what's her fucking name. Her. Oh and the dice guy.

Aquarium?? Ooo I love aquariums!!

Chester saying "smiley face" took me out for a couple of seconds lmfao

Ngl this reminds me of those old reddit forums where people would talk about the doing certain rituals and stuff. Or like this reminds me of the Kisaragi Station story. It's got the same vibe of like watching a horror story unfold through a forum.

THE SCALPEL????? YEAH OKAY HOLY SHIT THIS REMINDS ME A LOT OF THE WOMAN FROM EP 2.

Jesus christ this is. Kind of freaky in the sense that it's like a strange birth situation? They keep talking like its a birth. Obviously, it's not an actual pregnancy bit they are talking about it like it's a birth.

Oh my God. That...That's actually strangely pretty imagery? Coral bursting through skin? I mean, I hate things under my flesh but seeing corals on someone's skin is...Not a horrible image.

I'm trying to understand who the "her" is specifically.

OH HOLY SHIT SHES BIRTHING A DOPPELGANGER OH MY GOD. Is this supposed to like. Be hint towards how Celia might have happened? Because in the other doppelganger episode, Celia says "not quite the same" when the guy killed his doppelganger. Maybe this one is more like what actually happened to Celia??

Oh no doppelganger went wrong :(((

NOOOOOO OUCH. But also the "separately" hurts because it reminds me of Martin saying they probably wouldn't have ended up together in any other universe without their trauma. But also hold on-Jon died in a CYCLING incident???

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO MUCH CONFIRMATION. BASIRA????

HELEN?????

Oh no Gwen :((( GWEN NO BABYYYY

Wait shut up. SHUT UP. ARE WE GETTING DYHARD. HOLY SHIT DYHARD GUYS ITS DYHARD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

Guys I can't believe it SHES TELLING ALICE THINGS PLEASE ALICE DO NOT FUCK THIS UP PLEASE

EYES???? GUYS THIS IS DEFINITELY AN OLD ARCHIVIST OF SOME SORT I DONT THINK ITS OUR BOY JON BUT MAYBE. MAYBE ONE OF THE OTHER ARCHIVIST CREATURES

Oh Jesus. I think Alice has encountered the tapes before. Like even before the drowned woman.

I think that it's going to end up being samcelia and dyhard doing their on research but samcelia's research is gonna put Sam in danger. Alice is probably gonna try and protect Sam but he's now going to stand off against her and basically assume everything she's saying is bc she's jealous.

(Also if Sam pulls out the "just a jealous ex" when Alice HASNT snapped at him and is genuinely concerned for him, I'm gonna kick his ass. I'm pretty sure he will seeing as he's a petty bitch (and I love that for him))

BUT GUYS HOLY SHIT DYHARD IS DYHARDING.

[kithtaehyung]

I'm reporting live from the trenches aka hiding in sweatpants guy's office to read the 3tanbbq and!!!I loved it so much it made me feel so many raw emotions! And I'm not only talking about the pure horniness and yearning between yoongi and reader, I'm tlaking about the bittersweet feeling of a sweet summer day with your loved ones, eating drinking swimming and just enjoying each other's company❤ yoongi and reader being horny on main was just the cherry on top🥵 if reader had let him, he definitely would have made them try on different sundresses and tear them all off of them🥵 I loved seeing all of them characters interact with each other and laughing and making fun of shiv and bro (lovingly)!!! I love seeing glimpses of the vmin secret romance and their love child yeontan😍 THE CLAW MARKS AND LOVE MARKS ON YOONGI THO THAT'S A WHILE DIFFERENT STORY I LOVE LOVE LOVE THE CONCEPT OF THIS MAN HAVING HIS FLAWLESS SKIN MARKED FROM HIS LOVER🧍‍♀️ and ryen I would LOVE to read about what happens next but I'm trying to compose myself bc I am this close🤏 to start kicking my feet and I might actually kick sweatpants guy's shin in the process🧍‍♀️ ily and I love 3tan!!!!! -3tandream

AHHH DREAM! i'm so dang late to answering asks so forgive me :')) you read bbq so quick argh thank you so much! i'm glad you were able to enjoy it (from his office???) and that you felt the feeling of a summer day<3 i wanted this one to be fun and if that's what you got from it, then hell yeah.

LMFAO yoongi and reader.... my god. they are adorable istg. also that comment about the sundresses HELLO?? i'm sliding down my gd wall rn.

the characters got to interact with each other!! compare this to fireworks when all the friend groups were separate :'))) puts things into perspective, doesn't it? and glimpses of shiv and bro and vmin and all the friends.. ugh. love them all.

THE MARKS ON HIS BACK I KNOWW oh god. of course people were gonna notice those... and yet, he still wore a tank. interesting choice by him, don't you think? makes you go hmmmmmm..

thank you for reading and lollipop is coming! mwahaha and we're all gonna perish hope you're ready :))

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

I don't see Snape knowing Fiore is his. First because there is a possibility that Dumbledore knows and since he needs him too much he would not take the risk to loose an useful spy so Rakepick can get back her daughter... (If she's "that" bad.) Another option is that Rakepick is such an independant and proud woman that she doesn't think she needs help to save Fiore let alone a man she now deeply despises... Anyway it would complicate many things in the story if he knew and besides it adds even more misery to his life. Dying without knowing he had a daughter LMFAO what a miserable life... I also love the idea that no one in the wizarding world besides Dumbledore knew the reasons behind Rakepick's actions.

Snape could know but with Harry, the second war and the canon events it doesn't really add up...

Anyway, with the events at the end of the third fantastic beasts movies we now know that a character having a secret child is definitely something that could happen in canon... So yeah your theory is kinda cool :)

Snape knowing is actually a very significant question, especially since Fiore is likely to be in the same year as Harry, or if nothing else, their time at Hogwarts will overlap.

Because you're right. Whatever else he may be, I believe it would affect his decisions and he would likely want to protect her. Of course, the fact that he has a child with Rakepick at all raises questions of how that happened, how the two of them could have ever...coupled. I still don't know how it would have gone down, but I can see Rakepick being the kind of on-and-off ex that Snape despises yet still finds himself spending nights with when she visits, if that makes any sense? Or even if it was only just the one time.

Fiore would show up to Hogwarts, and, no way around it, Snape would have a strong opinion about her. Because we all know he's not able to mentally separate his enemies from the members of their families that he meets. He could never treat Harry as his own person because he was the spitting image of James. And guess what, Fiore looks exactly like her mom. (Not sure why this is such a narrative motif in the Potterverse, but hey, when in Rome...) So Snape isn't going to just ignore her like he would any other student. Her name is Rakepick, and she's a mini-me of his long-time enemy turned occasional lover. Oh, this is going to get so messy. I don't even want to think of how badly he'd treat Fiore, all the while not knowing.

But if he did know...would he treat her any better? I'm inclined to think that yes, he would, but he also wouldn't become father of the year. That's just not who he is, he doesn't have that in him. It takes empathy, it takes a certain talent to know how to talk to children, and we all know Snape doesn't have that. But just imagine how conflicted he would be, knowing that Rakepick's daughter was his. Especially if we go with my head-canon/fanfic idea from ages ago that Snape hates Rakepick for betraying him to R and nearly getting Lily killed in the process. Dude, imagine how much Snape would hate Fiore, and Rakepick, and himself, for his having had a daughter with someone other than Lily.

It creates such an intriguing parallel between Fiore and Harry. Because Snape looks at Harry and hates him because "you should have been mine." He looks at Fiore and hates her because "You shouldn't have been mine." Or even worse, "I should have never had you, you shouldn't exist." Would he be that cruel? I honestly don't know. I doubt he would say such things to her because to be frank, he would sooner die than admit his identity to Fiore, but still, he might think such things and those kinds of thoughts could affect his actions.

Ultimately, what you said about Dumbledore is very likely correct. He'd know. I don't know how he would know, but he would. He always knew. Usually because he'd use passive legilimency on people, but in this case, if Snape didn't know (and Fiore likely wouldn't) then I'm not sure how he would find out unless Rakepick told him. He could screen her too, but she's an Occlumens. Either way, it is so like Dumbledore for him to know that Fiore is Snape's daughter and not tell him in order to prevent him from being distracted, to keep him zero'd in on Operation: Harry. It's a hypothetical idea about head-canons surrounding a fanfic character and yet, it fits him to a T and I'm already mad. Fuck you, Dumbledore.

[jihopesjoint]

Oh my god???? I had no idea my message would mean that much to you 😭 You’re such a treasure. No but seriously, I’ve been struggling with a lot of things you mentioned in that post about other people’s opinions. I haven’t touched Facebook for two years because I have a partner who isn’t white or American and everyone in my small hometown lost their shit over it. Your post kinda solidified some thoughts that had been floating around in my head about how avoiding the problematic people in my life isn’t ~setting myself free~ from them—it’s just avoiding the issue. So…something to work on. 😅

But please keep writing posts like that one if you have time and would like to! It’s SO nice to see someone using the tarot in a way that isn’t trying to predict things about the members lol.

I’ll probably be back to hype you up, so you can call me ☕️ anon. Hehe. Have a good day~ :)

(P.S. I am also a bisexual who lives in the EST 👀 love that for us lol.)

i have... an anon with an emoji???? ☕️ ANON?????

if you're checking up on me, you might see that i shared my love languages earlier, and my top one BY FAR is words of affirmation. so yes, just nice messages like yours really do make me that happy 🥺

and i'm so glad you found my post and that it helped clarify some of your thoughts! i'm really sorry that people in your life haven't been supportive of your relationship. i live on the east coast now, but i am from texas and lived most of my life there... so i know about the close-mindedness. it's endlessly frustrating, and even if you see it as avoidance, i do think it was a good idea to get off of facebook and away from seeing that negativity constantly. of course, that doesn't mean there aren't other things to deal with, but separation and distance definitely has its place i think. because you now have room to address the ways that has affected you! and i'm glad you're wanting to do that work for yourself 💜

the eight of swords always stands out to me too. i am... very much trapped by my own negative thoughts about myself. i think that's why it was so easy for me to write about it when set me free pt. 2 came out.

and to your point about using the tarot in a way that's not trying to predict things about the members (ESPECIALY their love lives)... yeah. just. thank you for fucking saying that LMFAO astrology and tarot are tools for reflection and to be able to read for other people requires a personal connection, in my opinion. which none of us have with ANY of them. SO ANYWAY 😂 if i make any more connections to their WORK and their PROFESSIONAL lives that they CHOOSE to SHARE WITH US, i'll write about that :)

i hope you've had a lovely day and evening and i can't wait to hear from you next!!!! east coast gays rise 🥹

[thepunkmuppet]

ok so I will eventually do this with art, but put it this way I am literally watching hot fuzz for the third time in one week as we speak so I think it’s safe to say that my brain is right slap bang in the middle of HERE right now. meaning I just want to talk about these movies until I’m blue in the face so here goes!

gary king is my babygirl and my boyfriend and my son and my best mate and also me. so. you get it

angelbutter! is there even any competition??

hot fuzz for sure. again, watched it for the first time last week, twice in 24 hours, and now I’m watching it again less than 7 days afterwards and I know every fucking line

shaun of the dead, like, a year or two ago, and then I remembered “hey, there’s more movies like that in the world! maybe there is hope for humanity” and here we are

peter is such an underrated sweetie pie, like name one thing my guy has ever done wrong in his life. you can’t.

probably shaun honestly, I know he’s very much an every man but I think I count in that “every” so yknow, he works the way he’s supposed to i guess

“KILL THE QUEEN” “WOT?!?!!”

there are SO MANY oh my god i genuinely cannot choose

KING GAY and how much it makes peter laugh, it’s become such a running joke with me and my sister I still think it’s hilarious

the IT WAS A BIG LIE monologue in worlds end because… ouch. seriously ouch

gary is bi but we all knew that. angelbutter is canon but we all knew that. gary and andy “got separated” because steven wanted to go live with sam, andy wanted to go back to his wife and gary felt alone all over again and decided to just fuck off by himself (planning on turning that one into a very angsty post-movie fic so stay tuned I guess). I like to think that shaun and liz grew old together with their pet loser in the shed, outliving the zombie apocalypse because YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DESERVE IT

gary king

gary king

GARY KING

danny butterman my sweet stupid little monkey man you will always be loved

probably not long lmfao. but I like to think I would be resourceful?? and I can run like hell when I need to so that would probably help

…. The Winchester??

blanks are easy to kill (squishy blue goo heads that break immediately on impact) but they’re good fighters and also they come back to life infinitely AND I am a weak noodle so probably zombies because they’re slow and easy to overpower

i think this was simons pick in some interview I watched but I just cannot get it out of my head and that is nicholas angel and gary king. like just imagine the breaklight scene if it was with nick angel. that bitch wouldn’t have even made it to newton haven the movie would be over in 15 minutes because of that goddamn notebook

this whole thing is just proving how much I love gary lmfao but my guy is so stupid and funny he would be great to hang out with (not as an actual close friend though, he’s not exactly the expert in healthy relationships). I could definitely play mariokart with ed and shaun though I have to say, and I would love to hang out with the young muskateers mainly because I’m also a stupid teenager. also danny because I mean he’s danny

I don’t really fully see why people ship andy and gary. angelbutter and shaun x ed like YEAH those bitches gay good for them but these two?? granted there are a couple good moments (insert cock joke here) and the head on the shoulder at the end is very ccshvdfbhjcfdhjccddbchj but honestly I just see them as old friends with a toxic relationship. not that I don’t see potential, and if there was a plot line where they had a little thing for each other as teens I think that could be really interesting, but in terms of what we’ve got it just doesn’t really tickle my brain as much as the other two big ships

probably going to greece with my family. we were going to go again in 2020, after the last time in 2018 when I was really quite young, but because of covid we didn’t and since then my grandparents have moved back and sold the house which is so sad because corfu is absolutely gorgeous and I have really fond memories of it

oh I’m wayyy too queer for the nwa. I’m not even flamboyant or anything it’s just blatantly obvious that I’m not cis and in no way interested in being a girl. either that or my dog is a rescue and is always barking at other dogs so they might get mad about dIStuRbiNg tHE cOmMUnItY and kill us both when we’re out on a dog walk lol

gary king again. his costume is absolutely awesome, and I would definitely go all the way with the blue and red blood stains, the rehab bracelet, and the out of order sign. also I literally want to be him so bad it hURTS like no joke I would make a deal with the devil himself just to look like that man and gain his unmatched bi boy swag

just everything in hot fuzz I can’t even choose. we watched the “trivia track” on my family’s old dvd of the movie the other day and oh my god every single line in the first act is foreshadowing and I am just so in love with this movie

sandford. it’s just pretty, like did you see nick’s cottage?? cute little villages like that are honestly such a boss move from britian

regular because I’m basic and I like the little nuts and the chocolate

i kind of wish danny and nick had been like,,, EXPLICITLY canon. because we all know they’re canon and so do the actors and so does edgar and the movie was completely perfect, but representation is important and it just would have been appreciated, especially in 2007

not yet :( started watching spaced with my family and it was good, but I definitely did not enjoy hearing bestie simon pegg saying the t slur for obvious reasons so I decided to hold off on it for a while

danny crashing head first into the first fence and then slowly rolling himself over the top of another fence is my spirit animal

30 Days of the Cornetto Trilogy Challenge

hey y’all know those challenges where you post daily for 30 days and stuff? Well here’s one for the Cornetto Trilogy! Feel free to do whatever you want with these prompts, from creating things to just making a text post :3

Day 1: Favourite character  Day 2: Favourite ship/OTP  Day 3: Favourite film of the three  Day 4: First film of the three you saw  Day 5: Favourite member of The Five Musketeers (that ISN’T Gary)  Day 6: Character you relate to the most  Day 7: Favourite line/quote from Shaun of the Dead  Day 8: Favourite line/quote from Hot Fuzz  Day 9: Favourite line/quote from The World’s End  Day 10: A moment that made you cry (from any emotion)  Day 11: List some headcanons  Day 12: Character you think needs a hug  Day 13: Character you think needs to be slapped  Day 14: Favourite Simon Pegg character  Day 15: Favourite Nick Frost character  Day 16: How long would you (realistically) last in a zombie apocalypse? Day 17: You’re meeting up with your friends, which pub from the Trilogy are you going to meet up at? Day 18: Would you rather face a hoard of zombies or a hoard of blanks?  Day 19: Characters from different films that 100% should meet each other Day 20: Character that you wish was real and that you could meet/hang out with  Day 21: A hot take  Day 22: A moment from your past that you would love to relive  Day 23: What would cause you to get murdered in Sandford?  Day 24: Character you would love to cosplay as/or already have cosplayed  Day 25: Favourite bit of foreshadowing Day 26: Would you rather live in Sandford or Newton Haven?  Day 27: Favourite flavour of cornetto Day 28: Anything you would change?  Day 29: Have you watched either of the honorary members of this franchise: Paul and Spaced? Day 30: Favourite fence jumping scene

[babyboibucky]

Obvious

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky are more than friends but less than lovers.

Word Count: 1,700

Warnings: slight angst??? mention of injury???

A/N: Inspired by Ariana Grande’s “obvious” because I fucking love that song lmfao. Let me know if anyone wants to be included in my Bucky Barnes tag list! Will do separate tag lists for everything Bucky and Babysitting Bucky. Feedback is highly appreciated!

MAIN MASTERLIST

---

You and Bucky weren’t lovers, no. But you were definitely not just friends either.

There were kisses early in the morning, while both of you were cuddled in bed basking in the warmth of the sunlight spilling through the thin curtains; soft and subtle touches in the afternoon as the two of you navigated through the kitchen in an attempt to bake together. Slow touches late at night, cold metal fingers grazing you in just the right places that made you feel like on fire. And the exchange of whispers in the wee hours of night after coming down from the high of exploring each other’s bodies, uttered so softly, words meant only for each other to hear.

More than friends indeed, less than lovers? Maybe. Maybe not. Does it matter though? Because even without the words of affirmation, you loved Bucky and was sure that he loved you just as much.

Besides, you were obviously head over heels for the soldier. Not that you were denying or hiding it, in fact, you felt like you showed it a tad bit too much.

“Leaving so soon, soldier?” You’d asked with a pout as you watched Bucky leave your side on the bed.

“Duty calls.” He told you as he began to dress up.

Noticing your frown, he chuckled and approached you on the bed, bending down to press a kiss on your forehead.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He reassured you, smoothening out the crease on your forehead with his thumb.

“But I wanna cook you dinner.” You told him.

The thought of you and Bucky spending a domesticated evening together always elated you. You loved daydreaming about it, about sharing a life with your super soldier. Him coming home after a mission and you making sure to take good care of him. Maybe run him a bath while you prepared dinner. Silly, it seemed but you couldn’t help imagining all the possibilities with Bucky. Letting him sleep in on Sundays while you go on a jog, only to come back home with pancakes and bacons waiting for you in the kitchen. And Bucky of course, fresh out of bed with his hair sticking up in different directions.

Being with an Avenger of course, made it difficult to experience all these things. Sometimes you’d wake up alone but Bucky always made sure to leave you a little note.

I’ll be back soon, beautiful.

His notes found a home in one of your drawers. There were plenty and although these notes symbolized his absence on most days, they also meant promises. Promises to make it up for the lost time, promises that were never broken nor forgotten.

Dinner dates were often postponed, sleepovers a rare occurrence— spending time together in general, wasn’t as easy as it was for other couples out there.

But that’s okay. Because you’d always wait for Bucky. You’d wait for him to come home and even if it’d take him three days, one week, two months or even a year, you’d still wait and welcome him with hugs and kisses and affectionate whispers.

Sometimes you wondered whether Bucky knew how much you loved him.

Disagreements were of course, unavoidable even between you and Bucky. Oftentimes, the arguments would stem from his carelessness and selfless decisions during missions. Your super soldier, always so giving and generous and kind. You couldn’t care less about what others thought of him and his days under the influence of monsters. The moment you knew you loved Bucky, you had already accepted him. And that included his demons and dark days too.

To you, Bucky had always been kind and put others first before himself. Sometimes a little too much that you couldn’t help but feel hurt that he didn’t seem to care how you’d feel if ever he wouldn’t make it home.

If Sam hadn’t called you that night, you wouldn’t have known about the serious injury inflicted on Bucky while on a mission.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked as soon as you barged into the medical bay, ignoring the nurse who immediately scrambled out of the room.

Bucky laid in bed, bruised and wrecked and unable to respond upon seeing you seething with anger for the first time ever.

“Were you even planning to tell me in the first place?” You scoffed.

They needed to infiltrate another Hydra base. Raid the base, get all possible information and blow it up to ashes. But then Bucky found a secret basement at the very last minute, young women and men were kept— future Winter Soldiers. The serum hadn’t been injected into their systems yet, they were merely poor teenagers in captivity. Bucky knew he couldn’t let these young people suffer the same fate as him. With barely a minute left before the bomb was set to explode, Bucky did his best to save everyone in that basement.

Never mind the Falcon’s orders to abort his mission, never mind the back-up they had called for to help them out. Bucky knew the choices he had: walk away unscathed knowing that the back-up wouldn’t arrive in time to save the children, or stay behind and do his best to make sure that no one will become another toy for Hydra to play with.

Even if it meant risking his life, even if it meant leaving you back home unaware of his fate.

“They needed me. I couldn’t just leave them behind.” Bucky explained.

“And you didn’t think I needed you too?” You asked, eyes rimmed with tears.

God, you knew you were selfish for feeling hurt but you couldn’t help it. Did it not cross Bucky’s mind that if he had died, you’d be left behind too? Did you not cross his mind during that time?

“Look, I understand what the superhero life is all about. And I know that it’s fucking selfish of me to say this but...Bucky, I need you too. As much as the world does.”

It was a conversation that you and Bucky had many times now. But with how your love grew for him with each passing second, the thought of losing him, it had become too much for you to suppress.

Waking up without his little notes of reassurance that he’d be back soon, no more cold fingers tracing against the smooth expanse of your skin and having to sleep knowing that the next day, Bucky wouldn’t be there anymore— just the mere thought of losing him broke your heart.

“I can’t...” you breathed out, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, Buck.” You admitted with a shaky sigh as your tears continued to fall.

Bucky wanted to get up and pull you to an embrace, but he was too injured to do so. How we wanted to kiss your tears away, all he could do was extend a hand towards you, inviting you to come closer and touch him.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “I should have told you, I’m sorry. C’mere.”

Despite your anger, you didn’t think twice and immediately went to hold Bucky’s hand, squeezing it tightly as if you were trying to make sure that he was fine and real and that you didn’t lose him.

“Please stop being so reckless. With how much I love you, it drives me crazy whenever you come home all wounded and bloody and now—“

“You love me?”

Bucky had asked the question as if he couldn’t believe that yes, you do love him. Sam really wasn’t kidding when he said how dense Bucky was.

“Is it not obvious?” You asked, wiping away your tears.

“I mean yeah but...I just didn’t want to assume that you do because we never really talked about it.” He explained, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.

His metal fingers, although cold and hard against your skin, had always been your favorite. They were gentle when they needed to be, or at least whenever Bucky touched you. They were cold and made you shiver but always in a good way.

“Bucky, I’ve talked about wanting a future with you. You still didn’t think that that was love?” There was a hint of playfulness in your tone despite your deadpan expression.

Oh no, what if you interpreted everything the wrong way?

“Do you not...oh my god, Bucky am I the only one in love?” You asked, panicked.

“Oh god, no.” Bucky immediately clarified as he pulled you to sit down on the bed beside him.

“I love you. So much. Please don’t think otherwise.” He said, cupping your face and wiping away the remnants of your tears.

A smile followed by a quick peck on the lips. Bucky moved and gave you enough space to lay down beside him on the hospital bed. Suddenly, everything felt right. Not that it wasn’t before but with the both of you finally uttering those words, it felt different.

The perfect kind of different.

You laid your head against Bucky’s chest and listened to his heartbeat as his hand rubbed comforting circles on your back. You can’t imagine a life without being this close to him, your super soldier.

“I thought of you, you know.” His chest rumbled as he spoke.

You lifted your head up to look at him in confusion. He smiled at you lovingly, “During the mission. Every mission I go to actually, I thought of you.”

Bucky thought about how you always waited for his return no matter how long he took. He imagined what you’d be doing when he’d come back, would you still be asleep? Perhaps you’d be in the shower, singing. Bucky thought about how he’d kiss you as soon as he comes home, how he’d make you feel how much he missed you and your scent, how your smooth skin felt against his.

Every single time, Bucky thought about coming home to you. It was his motivation to stay alive no matter what. He knew you needed him as much as the world does.

Because he needed you just the same.

More than friends, indeed. Less than lovers? No, you and Bucky were more than that.

You were each other’s worlds.

[chitsangenthusiast]

insomnia + t.... tony.., tony the tigermm..

hey remember when tumblr banned 'tony the tiger' lmfao anyway

"What's your star sign?" Sokka asks him, and Zuko's face twists up even as his fingers continue to fly over the keyboard. The question is muffled from where Sokka has embedded his face into his sweater, but even the few dropped syllables aren't enough to stop him from understanding the question.

(Though clarity and coherency are two distinctly separate things in this case.)

"Uh, what?"

"Your star sign," Sokka says again, not bothering to cover his yawn with his face so covered, and Zuko just barely stops himself from shivering against the weird press of moving lips over fabric. "Like, the personality thing. Where the sun was when you were born, determining the entire make up of who you are as a person before you can open your eyes, yadda yadda."

"I know what zodiac signs are," he shoots back with a huff, "just like I know how much you don't believe in them, which is why I'm confused."

There's a small laugh into his upper back, and Zuko actually does squirm at the feeling—then immediately regrets it when Sokka finally lifts himself off and away.

"Oh, no, yeah, it's total bullshit. which is why I think I've figured out something way better for people to imprint themselves on." With a long groan, he slumps his way around Zuko's leg to fall in and rest his head on his knee. "Hear me out: cereal mascots."

Zuko just stares down at him. "Sokka—why?"

"Think about it!" and Zuko is not. He's been working on this manuscript for the past too many hours, far too tired and not even close to being finished, but Sokka's excitement is distracting enough that he's willing to at least sit there and admire his boyfriend's pretty mouth as he talks. "Line up all the mascots, and you've basically got a full range of actually fleshed out personalities that aren't just just vague, arbitrarily-chosen concepts. Those are things you can resonate with. Also, there's definitely a link between the level of sugar you're willing to consume in the morning and who you are as a person."

Sokka then gestures down at himself, and Zuko accepts the invitation to look. Probably not for the reason he actually wants, but whatever. Computer screens are bad for Zuko's eyes, but Sokka certainly isn't. "For example, who would you associate me with?"

Zuko doesn't miss a beat. "Gritty."

"Tony the Tiger," Sokka hums in happy confirmation, long an expert in selective hearing when it comes to him, "exactly. And you, my handsome little jerk, are the Trix Rabbit."

The very idea earns him a sharp flick to the side of his neck—which ultimately results in Zuko's laptop getting tossed to the other side of the bed as a determined poking war breaks out, and ends with Sokka joyfully dropping his entire weight onto his stomach.

(Not ends—there's a quick chomp to his right cheek before Zuko is held victim to a flurry of small kisses all over his face as he tries to suck the air back into his lungs.)

"Ass," he groans, only slightly putting effort into struggling against the onslaught. "You really—explain your dumb logic."

"Because you've stolen my heart," Sokka simpers into the corner of his mouth, openly delighting in the way Zuko freezes, then drops a few more smacking pecks along the edge of his scar. "Duh."

It takes a few minutes for Zuko to respond, too caught up in the insistent press of that smiling mouth against his, but then Sokka is pulling back to gaze down at him, likely gearing up to further explain his reasoning, and Zuko seizes the moment.

"I was born in the year of the rabbit, you know," he says, then cackles in the face of Sokka's sputtering indignation as he yanks him back down.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

[pumpkinpaix]

this is gonna sound so harsh but im legit tired of chinese diaspora people who think that bc they are of chinese descent and they have pleco they can act like voices of authority in the fandom. if modao is the 1st chinese book you have read pieces of with a dictionary, if you have never interacted with the actual chinese fandom, you are not part of the intended audience and your biased opinion is not the One And Only Valid Truth 🍵

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree | this is really hard for me to express in terms of an agree/disagree axis lol

genuinely cannot tell if you’re trying to shade me here anon lmao 😂

this got long and rambly (of course) asldkjfslj. i would love to make the excuse that it’s bc i’ve got a migraine and had No Sleep but. let’s be real i’m always like this.

ok i’ll start with where i agree: i don’t think anyone has the right to act like an ultimate voice of authority in fandom. i think different people with different backgrounds have varying realms of expertise and they should be respected when they share that knowledge, but that the instant someone starts to use that kind of power as a weapon against people they personally don’t like, i think they forfeit that privilege. no one has the one and only valid truth about a piece of media because that’s fundamentally impossible. i have definitely interacted with diaspo who behave like their heritage gives them some kind of incontrovertible authority over everyone else, and they’re fucking insufferable and often rather cruel, even/especially towards other diaspo. meet me in the denny’s parking lot and fight me for real. i’ll kick ur ass. >:c

however, I also think it’s true that there’s a lot of dismissal of heritage fans in this fandom, if that makes sense, from both sides of the equation: non-Chinese fans ignore our cultural hangups because they’re inconvenient, and non-diaspora disdain us for being not Chinese enough. that puts a lot of us in a position of feeling disrespected just for being who we are, or having our very real knowledge and unique experience as individuals devalued because of it.

regardless of my identity, I have formally studied a lot of things: literary translation, media analysis, the politics of oppression, film critique, religious studies, philosophy, four foreign languages etc. and that is all knowledge that I had to work for, and work hard for. I do have a certain measure of authority on all of these subjects over a layperson (to varying degrees), and there are going to be times when i will be more correct than someone who disagrees with me -- but I’ve also absolutely experienced people talking over that specialized knowledge because of who I am, which is, to be clear. extremely infuriating and hurtful. like, i have cried so much about it in the last 18 months. people see my racial and cultural identity before they see anything else, which is understandable to a degree, but upsetting when it becomes the basis for how my work is judged, whether positive or negative. i don’t want you to trust me blindly because i’m abc. I want to you to trust me because you have examined my work critically and judged it to be trustworthy!

so i guess this is getting into the strongly disagree part of the answer: i’ve been speaking a lot with other diaspora fans lately, and it’s been simultaneously hugely relieving and also really saddening. relieving because oh thank god someone else Gets It, and saddening because pretty much all of us, no matter what kind of diaspo we are (north american, european, SEA, taiwanese etc), we’ve all experienced a lot of pressure in this fandom, from non-Chinese, Chinese, and other diaspora fans alike. we’re all acutely aware that we are not modao’s intended audience because being diaspora vs being “from the mainland” or whatever, are actually quite different things, but modao still feels close to home. even if it was not written FOR us it is still familiar to us.

and, because so many of us are multilingual and multicultural, we end up being the bridge between the “actual” chinese fandom and the english-speaking fandom, which is largely made up of non-chinese. (sidenote: I hate it when people say things about being “actually” any identity because it’s almost always for the exact reason you brought up: to use heritage as street cred. it’s like damn, being “actually” chinese doesn’t make ur opinions any less rank. sure you might be “actually” chinese, but do you have basic reading comprehension and literary criticism skills? no? ok then sit your ass back down) many of us are most comfortable in english! so we produce our content in english! but we also DO often have a somewhat privileged access to the culture that underlies mdzs and can explain it in a language that other non-Chinese fans can understand. so it’s not surprising that people flock to us for answers to their cultural questions. and like. if we think we know the answer, it’s natural for us to try and help. this is fandom! we’re here to have fun and find community! and it is definitely a little bit nice to have my culture treated as something desirable for once instead of just like. a weird exotic curiosity that no one really cares too deeply about. and, since a lot of us are able to do things that non-Chinese fans can’t (research in chinese, for example. ask family members for help and more information etc.) we end up just having more information to share.

I think this sometimes results in a tendency for fandom at large to put heritage/diaspo fans on pedestals and tout them as authorities (or use our conflicting viewpoints as ammunition in fandom drama) when the diaspo in question have repeatedly stated that they should not be taken as authorities on something -- and then, once you reach critical mass, your reputation starts to precede you, and I think there’s a lot of misconceptions of how a lot of diaspo act in this fandom simply because of that phenomenon. most of us know that we’re not ultimate arbiters of some kind of cultural gateway, and it can be very tiring both to be treated as such when we insist we are not, and then punished by other people who assume that we acted like we were.

i don’t think there’s a benefit in trying to keep en fandom and cn fandom totally separate, and I also think it’s unfair to consider the cn fandom the “real” fandom. i think that way lies deeper misunderstandings, gatekeeping, etc. i think we can definitely acknowledge the differences between them, but i think trying to make meaningful connections between fandom circles is really valuable! i don’t think i’ve ever made it a secret that modao is my first cmedia fandom? so it’s also the first time i’ve had reason to interact with chinese fandom, which has been super enlightening and interesting! i’ve made some super cool friends and learned a lot about how fandom works in china, how it’s similar and how it differs from the fandom i’m familiar with.

and then, kind of circling back around, there’s also a bit of a sense like, okay, so if diaspo don’t belong in the CN fandom, but we can’t talk about our own culture with some degree of confidence in EN fandom, then like..... where do we go...? if we see EN fandom doing something that contradicts our cultural knowledge, do we just. not say anything? do we not count unless we’ve already ingratiated ourselves to CN fandom? that’s probably where the core of my strong disagreement comes from, because criticism of diaspora fans as like, acting above their station so to speak, feels just like a tired continuation of the same shit we’ve had to deal with for our whole lives, being told we’re not good enough for anywhere and that we should just be quiet and keep our heads down and get over it. that our opinions, despite coming from a unique perspective with a unique relationship to the subject in question, are less valid or real than “actual” chinese people, you know? and sometimes i see that and im like lmfao just sneer at me for being jook-sing and leave then if you’re so eager to think of me as lesser.

so yeah, basically im of a few minds: true! diaspora fans don’t get to throw their weight around just because they’re diaspo. they don’t get carte blanche to act like bullies or try to shape the fandom to their own personal liking and crusade against people who disagree with them. they don’t get to pretend their heritage makes them superior to everyone else, and i think western diaspora especially need to be careful when asserting any kind of moral lens over the text to acknowledge that we have our own biases to interrogate. i am not immune.meme etc. on the other hand, this vein of criticism tends to put all diaspo in a bit of a double-bind, and also, however unintentionally, plays into the general, continuous trend of dismissing diaspora for being diaspora, and i’m really not about that. i don’t think that’s the motivation behind opinions like this, but i do think that when the basis for the argument hinges on the idea that diaspora are not “real” chinese, no matter how much I too have beef with certain diaspora fans, the argument needs to be revisited. 

(ko-fi)

🍵 ((un)popular) opinions meme

[eviltiddyprodnz]

Byah Humari Bahu Ka

8th June 2012 - 14th June 2012

the 7th June episode isn't on YT

Wasn't gonna write again but lmaooo his mom finally fainted when he said he didn't want to do any rasams and do a court marriage 😭

My brain simply has decided to call Paulomi Sao Paulo so there's no going back.

Krish bestie you can't just not tell Sao Paulo that you made her sign MARRIAGE DOCUMENTS. mazak hai kya

An Indian mother in law fainting whenever something she disagrees with happens is definitely an idea. I'm surprised it's being used to guilt the son instead of the Bahu. 10 points for Sonytherin.

Also when his mom and his family were thinking SP was responsible for him trying for a court marriage I love that her mom spoke up instead of the ladki waale kaise bol sakte hai nonsense.

Krish and SP colour coordinating.

Wow, the first thing Yashoda does is talk to SP and chastises her son. #MILoftheyear

SP has really pretty eyes.

She's so real. Like he feels guilty and goes we're gonna have a big wedding and she's immediately like don't feel pressurized, Yashoda come take your forehead kissie.

Help what was that angle. It looked like Shrenu was walking hypnotised. 😭

That Diya bujhna moment and Yashoda (out of all) saying y'all just lit it wrong and lighting it with SP is so sweet. Bad omens aside, it's once again nice to see someone speak calmly and come with a solution instead of idk yelling and manifesting bad things by thinking of bad things.

AAAAH I KNEW THEY WEREN'T GONNA BUMP BUT I WANTED IT SO BAD. hey god as witness

Lmao Rajni watching the TV while trying to decorate. She's just like me FR.

OFC Yashoda notices her. #TherealOTP

SP basically teaching this man how to love at this point.

Wait he saw her fall. That's different 💀. I thought she was gonna fall on him. But the voice over and the scene don't sync well at all 😭😹

One thing about Rajni she's going to bump into people and drop shit. (relatable)

Krish how are you already in love 😭💀. I like love at first sight in stories though.

Krish close your door omg 😭. I mean no one's coming but who just leaves their door open?

NOOOO it's been a week and SP still has that can coke ring. Krish you dumbass 😭

Awww SP's family is getting close. They're gonna be heartbroken. 😭💔

Look at Baa and Lil Sis talking the right things. Separation is truly better than staying and suffocating yourselves in a relationship. Look at them sharing more than a kidney. ✨

AAAAH Baa has my heart. Ready to jiggy with the groom.

I mean the moment the game was introduced we all knew he'd magically pick her. They didn't need to pan to God, it's what we all want.

I love that this fam is super chill like are you my guest? No. Join in anyway !

The other waitresses being perfect wingwomen. Oh yeah

Dandiya bringing their smiles out ✨✨✨

LMAOOO the way Rajni literally LEFT the moment the music stopped. Sach mein Cinderella dandiya.

Not this boy literally just being a plot stirrer.

He's SO happy about the pagdi.

LMFAO at least she met him before the goof up. I mean Maa may still read the letter he wrote but I lowkey felt sad that he might think she rejected him by not showing up. #MyGirl

AAAAH SP makes a beautiful bride 😭

I knew my girl was gonna bump again but at least she bumped with the right man.

Love that Kanhaiya ji is guiding her here and Shankarji was guiding her in DBO/IB

In her defence everytime she's bumped into other people they've also not been looking up. 💀

The bg music is kinda boring though 😩

The second time someone has reacted this happily and lovingly hearing the name Ranjnibada and it's Yashoda's son.

Yashoda giving adoring eyes to SP is sweet as hell but feels like cheating to me. 😩😩😩

Krish down terrible omg

Naw he's going to break her heart let me take a breather

[bon-nii]

There's literally no stakes in the anime at all. Its so bland and emotionless. I don't feel anything for these characters. Everything is being handed to them. Give me back my son, Adam. He is far more intelligent than any of these anime characters. They all drank stupid juice.

Yeah, I definitely agree. I'm just watching to see where this ends up at this point (and also to shitpost lmfao)

Every Thursday me and two of my friends (one has read most of the manga, the other is anime-only) watch it on discord, or talk about it on discord and man... my friend who is anime-only is like "yeah, this sucks ass, I need to just read the manga" and is confused with stuff. We just kinda clown on it at this point. It's basically just someone's shitty canon-divergence AU playing out on screen.

Random assortment of thoughts:

I can sympathize with Manga Norman. I can understand WHY he is doing what he is doing and what his motivations are. It is, quite frankly, completely disgusting what he wants to do, but I can get why he wants to do it and I don't hate him. He is a very complex character, trying to make sense/live in a very complex world. Anime Norman on the other hand? I feel nothing for him like, I just Do Not Care. Norman is, imo, the best written out of the three mains and my personal favorite, but they've completely squandered his writing... ugh

I've held strong by this belief: If you are going to adapt TPN, there are 3 major characters who you *cannot afford* to mess up. Isabella, Yuugo, and Norman. (I'd even throw Peter and Leuvis in there as well) Well, Yuugo's gone and if they *do* decide to have him show up his character is completely different (i.e. the out of character note he leaves at the bunker). Norman has next to none of the depth he had in the OG story (I can't remember, but didn't Cislo or Barbara say that he saved the kids at the mass production plants? Uhhh, what?!?!). And Isabella is being built up as the big villain YET AGAIN which does not align with her development at all (though I do think they will still pull a bait-n-switch on us like in the manga) so there goes that.

Peter and Leuvis oh where do I start? Leuvis is my personal favorite villain of the story for multiple reasons (I think I will write an entire post on him sometime) and Peter is the epitome of everything Emma stands against and is essentially the Big Bad. Leuvis is gone, Peter is in the op but has had ZERO screentime thus far, not even any fucking hints to his existence at all. There's 5 eps left so he has to show up at some point, right? He's in the opening soooo... where the hell is he? How are viewers supposed to give a shit about him? He's pretty fucking dangerous and has been influencing the plot since day ONE, but whatever I guess??

Anime Ray is the only one I vibe with rn, and even then he's meh. Anime Emma is on thin fucking ice, and Anime Norman can be fed to the Dropkick Murpheys for all I care.

Infodumps. My god. These bitches be talking like they're reading a wikipedia article.

The literal butchering of Emma's character. Goldy Pond would have been the ep 19 of Demon Slayer of this anime season if they had adapted it, and I stand by that. The amount of HYPE on social media that would have happened after Emma pulls herself from the brink of death to challenge Leuvis would have been insane. There are so few strong, well-written female shonen protagonists... damn shame that the brilliance of Emma is relegated solely to s1 and the pages of the manga, she is a husk of herself in this season.

No character growth. Trio is separate for 90 chapters. That's literally half of the entire manga. There's no feeling of separation, no feeling that they are wildly different people now. These three have spent their entire lives together. Ray and Emma have to struggle without Norman, and Norman has to struggle without Ray and Emma. It's so important. This dynamic *literally* dictates how they grow as characters. When they are finally reunited it is so emotional and amazing, but also a bit unsettling because Norman is *clearly* not the Norman we remember... but in the anime we don't feel any of the impact of those 2 years.

Yuugo and Lucas. Contrasting the love Isabella gave to the kids with the love these two dads give to them. Adds a lot to the story. RIP.

Also RIP Adam and the Gold Pond kids... jeeeeeze there was so much potential.

Anime sacrifices extremely hard-hitting and emotional moments for cheap shock factor (namely, bunker raid and the trio reunion)

Speaking of the trio reunion, why the FUCK does Anime Norman not give a shit about Anime Ray? Hes completely ignored, and it's not like in the manga where he came in later no, like... he's there, seeing Norman at the same time Emma is. There's like, a solid minute and a half of Norman and Emma crying over each other while Ray just stands in the back like 🧍‍♂️and then is added as an afterthought. Emma's like "oh yeah, I brought Ray" GIRL??? And Norman is like "oh hey Ray.." BITCH?!?! YOU KNEW HE WAS GONNA FUCKING KILL HIMSELF AND HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING WHETHER OR NOT EMMA WAS ABLE TO STOP HIS SUICIDE, FOR 2 YEARS??? AND YOU JUST IGNORE HIM?? AND THEN ACKOWLEDGE HIM AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT?? I--okay!

Manga Norman: Emma and Ray are my best friends and I love them more than anything in the world, but Ray understands me in a way that Emma doesn't. They are both important to me.

Anime Norman: who the fuck is ray

Zero suspense. Minimal world building. Very minimal lore building. No mystery.

What the fuck is up with the William Minerva part of the plot like... uh, that's pretty important??? He's been completely dropped and there's zero reason for us to connect him with Norman. Like, he had his phone call in ep 3 and then any mention of him dipped. Disappointing as hell. Don't get to see the parallels drawn between him and Norman. Man...

Yeah idk what else... am I being too critical? Honestly, not sure. I think my criticisms and frustrations are well-founded, but I am definitely basing most of this off of the anime's failure to adapt the manga. Though I suppose, looking from an anime-only standpoint who has no idea just how much of the story has been axed, it might be okay or it might not be? Or it might depend on the person... in any case, I cant fathom how anyone could look at this season and go "Yeah, this feels like the same show as season 1!"

[makeusfreefromthisfandom]

How They Snapchat

A/n: yes I did everyone bc why not 😌✨ long post ahead but I had a lot of fun doing these! I hope you have just as much fun reading them!

❥Iwatobi

Haru

Is he even on Snapchat?

Lmao

He was forced to by Rin before he left for Australia

Haru forgets about it. The only time he posts are when he’s out with Rin and it’s Rin who’s the one posting for him

Makoto

Cats!

Omg he’s going to be posting snaps of him and the neighborhood cat

But he’s also posting snaps of him and Haru

most of the time it’s a Nagisa take over and Makoto’s memories are FILLED with Nagisa’s snaps and random videos

He won’t ever delete them ahaha

He’s the type who’s snap is always messing up lolol and he starts panicking about it too 😭

Never the one to leave you on read. A true king.

Nagisa

Ooffff

Yk those people on snap who have like 5 different private stories and are CONSTANTLY posting on ALL of them and somehow you are also on ALL of them

Yeah...

That feature on snap where you just swipe up to be added to someone’s private story? Nagisa is always doing that

There’s no point of calling it a private anymore

Also a spammer, doesn’t care if you do streaks or not

He’s the type who posts videos and pictures of his friends OFF GUARD OMG HES THOSE TYPE OF PEOPLE AJSJSJJSJS

And he gets it at JUST the right moment

poor Rei

Filters. Not the ones that make you look good. The weird ass ones.

Oh also that big mouth filter is his fav (yk the one that everyone uses when they need to rant ajsjsjsjsj)

Can you imagine him on tik tok LMFAO

Rei

Aesthetics ✨

Sunset/sky pics

Also it’s basically Nagisa running his snap too

Selfie e’rryday (courtesy of Nagisa ofc)

Gou

Selfies with the galsssss😆😝

So many swim team memories 🥺

Nagisa likes doing the whole “amosc” thing on her story too without her knowing xb

Has a private story but Rin’s not apart of it 😌🤚🏽

He gets super butthurt when he finds out tho bc the rest of the guys are

Why hasn’t she blocked Momo yet?😭😭😭

SHE DOESNT WANT TO SEE YOUR BEETLE MY GUY

I feel like she rants but she doesn’t even use that one filter to do it. The gorl says what she’s gotta say

But she still likes using the cute little filters tho <3

The group chat maker.

❥Samezuka

Rin

11:11 snaps

He has a whole separate private story for his sad hours and quotes

Late night workout/gym pics. With the time sticker

Also he’s the type to be posting selfies of him and his buddies too :b

snaps of his music

sad playlists

Thinks streaks are stupid but probably does them anyways ajsjsjjsjsjs especially if it’s someone he’s crushing on

ALWAYS checking Gou’s stories bc protective brother things

Always flashing his signature sharky grin

Those people that are confident and intimidating on snap but in reality they’re baby and soft🥺

Sousuke

Black screens.

Ceiling snaps.

leaves you on read

but it’s bc he doesn’t know what to even reply with

Doesn’t really snap like that, he mostly just has it so that it’s another way to keep in touch with acquaintances and friends

Will once in awhile get snaps from Aii and Momo which he’ll just laugh and smile to

Aii

He has a group chat on there for the swim team

He’ll send snaps to Rin and Sousuke sometimes

Cant quite get out of Nagisa’s snap spamming tho, he’s considered blocking

Momo

Do I even need to say anything?

Pyunsuke.

Period.

ITS JUST HIS FREAKIN STAG BEETLE

captions the snaps with things like “isn’t he precious 🥺” “GUYS PYUNSUKE LEARNED A NEW TRICK!!!”

Has a whole story dedicated to “Pyunsuke’s Adventures”

Please all the boys have left that priv story

Aii stays tho bc he’s nice like that

Regrets it everyday.

Also big bro Sei likes to take over his snaps from time to time

Seijuro

He’s got all the fan girls yo 😎🤏🏽

Work out snaps

Swimming snaps in his speedo

Face snaps

He also succeeds in getting selfies with Haru as they’re on the same swim team now 😎🤏🏽

Exposes the younger mikoshibas’ baby pics

NEVER lets the chance go to take a snap when all the mikoshiba siblings reunite

❥Highspeed+Hiyori

Asahi

Inspirational quotes on his mirror selfies

Ooooof Kisumi takeover 24/7

I feel like he’s into aesthetic snaps and phone photography too so yeah lots of coffee shop aesthetics

He still does streaks :b

Forced to have one with Kisumi

Never snaps him back tho

He likes posting his nephew too 🥺

He ends up getting a kick to the face right when he snaps the pic tho

The type to be like “dhmu”

“Only the real ones know”

Kisumi

Has to document all his coffee/food runs

His “vlogs”

Kisumi. Omg KISUMI. He’s that ONE friend who has embarrassing pictures of EVERYONE

Omg you cannot tell me that he’s not a little blackmailer with a smile plastered on his face 24/7

Jkjk

You sly little fox

The exposing type aksjjsjsjsjsjs also my fellow key smasher 😎

That one person who’s always recording at just the right moments

He does streaks too! Although the one with Asahi was completely unintentional and now they’re over 300 days

Pretty selfies all the time! 💖

Has like 1000+ friends and claims to know them all

What can I say, he’s a popular guy~

Ikuya

s t a r s

Askskksksjs

Not the type to really post, more of the type to just watch

An occasional selfie with Hiyori

Sometimes he’ll be sitting at the park or smth with a nice view and he’ll decide to snap a pic

Always has swipe up on Asahi’s stories to remind him of his stupidity

A lot of snaps from Natsuya of his travels or what he’s doing atm

The only person he’ll actually regularly snapback to

Those late night snaps/texts from a special someone never fail to bring a small smile to his lips tho🥺

The type to watch his monthly recaps and 1/2/3 and so on year agos

Natsuya

T r a v e l s

The airport at 4am

The plane

MIRROR SELFIES 🤤

FACE SELFIES 🤤🤤

lots of Nao snaps haha, most of them are saved in his memories tho

He actually has tons of selfies with a bunch of new people that he meets in his travels like Rin!

He also gets Ikuya into taking a selfie with him ;b

HIS SMILE 🥺 omg he’s always flashing a smile in his snaps 🥺

Also doesn’t really do streaks, but he likes to let his close fellas know what he’s doing and where he’s currently at so they unintentionally start anyways

Gets asked for his snap a lot- too bad he’s claimed me as his wife 😙

Nao

Doesn’t really use Snapchat that much unless he’s talking to like the 4 closet people he knows including Natsu

Also more of a watcher than a poster

Wait that sounded wrong akskksks-

Like I mean he watches others’ stories rather than posting stuff on his own

Wait why do I feel like he actually watches those snap stories yk like the buzzfeed ones and dailymail, etc 😭😭

Tends to leave Natsuya on open

Hiyori

Stalks Ikuya on maps

Ok but he doesn’t really post on his story unless it’s a selfie with Ikuya

Or he just wants to share his coffee shop/library aesthetic akaksksksk

More of a memory keeper

Like his memories are definitely filled but he doesn’t always post them

Never leaves you on open. Thinks it’s wrong. Will always snapback/reply 🥺

OH OMG YK WHEN U ACCIDENTALLY POST SOMETHING ON YOUR STORY AND IMMEDIATELY REGRET IT LIKE YK THOSE MOMENTS?

That’s literally Hiyori but he would d i e

LMAO

Too scared to screenshot anything too

I think he also secretly watches those subscription and publisher stories

Taglist: @starbornecentral @enai-jigoku @allieturs @syrenblubs @todominica @kkbear @thatfreeshit @lowkeystasha @animatedarchives @cha0tically0rganized @ourfallenthoughts @akaashirin @ever4wolf (let me know if you would like to be added or removed!)

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials S2 Ep 6 - Rambling/Thoughts

I really cannot believe that we’re at the penultimate episode already, oh my gosh. It’s gone by so fast??

Again, because I’ve reread TSK in the last couple of weeks, the book is fresh in my mind but I’ve probably still missed stuff

Also last week was so intense and seeing the “previously on” section made me remember just how intense that was, so it’s a hard job to top that!

ANGELS AHH RIGHT AWAY IM GEEKING OUT

“The last time they were seen was to make war” - IT’S HAPPENING ASDFGHJKL

Ruta going off to see Asriel and me just remembering what exactly went down between them while she was there with him... heh

So Will’s hand looks AWFUL oh my god poor Will 😭

Pan is REALLY into his Red PAN-da form oh my goodness

So the other kids out for revenge terrified the living SHIT out of me, dear god I don’t think it could be any creepier than dozens of them appearing out of the shadows like that, like it’s genuinely terrifying

Serafina just dropped right in to rescue them and I was both relieved and a little disappointed? Because in the book the whole chase sequence is so much longer and more important, like it takes up most of an entire chapter I think, and here it’s like two minutes?

Serafina: What does this edge cut? // Lyra: Everything (Will at the same time: Nothing.) - 😂

I missed Lee and Jopari tbh so yay to seeing them once more! And they’ve crossed into the next world!

Oh hi again Mary!

^ I wasn’t expecting to see Mary again this series because in TSK book, her last appearance is going through the window (which was last episode), so I’m a little curious as to whether we’re going to get a TINY little peek into The Amber Spyglass here (it’s been years since I reread it, I apologize). Because last series they did a bit of TSK (namely introducing Will + him crossing into Cittagazze), so it would be interesting!

“Good, something I can understand for a change” - LOL Same

Serafina wants to take Lyra back to her world?? Really??

Not gonna lie, the two girls spying on Mary was kind of low-key creepy

Lyra mentioning that she crossed worlds to find out about Dust and mentioning Roger 😭

Also I’m so emotional over just how much she wants Will to be safe, like she would really do anything to keep him safe and I love it

Lyra asking the Alethiometer where Will’s dad is and “he’s in this world” - ahhh it’s going to happen!

Also I really hope that the BBC/whoever decides to sell replica Alethiometers because the design is so beautiful?! I would fork out serious dough for one, and it would go nicely with the one I have from the film

No but seriously, words don’t describe just how badly I want a replica

“I wanted to fly so I summoned you here, now I’m flying” - LOL OKAY THEN JOHN

Ooh damn, that outfit Marisa is wearing is FINE. I’m slightly gayer than I was before, ngl

I was like “nooo Mary don’t be nice to these kids, they’re awful”

But it’s very sweet that she offers them food?? Like she pulls a chocolate bar out and is like “it’s no good for you, it’s full of sugar”... I love her

The way that Mary was so happy and excited when they mentioned Lyra, only to tell the girls off for trying to kill her - more of a mum than Mrs Coulter tbh

“Miss, can I have a hug?” - AWWW OMG WHY AM I SAD

They asked Mary to stay and look after them omg 😭😭😭

“Come with me, I’ll bring you to your adults” - ooh okay this could go any number of ways... Either she actually reunites them with their families and all’s well, or she takes them up there and their parents/adults are all dead (for lack of a better word)? Or the Spectres attack after Mary leaves them with the adults??

Jopari talking about meeting his dæmon and also a little bit about trying to get back to his family :(

“Can you magic us up a fire?” “One moment” *presents a box of matches” - LMFAO

Wait did Serafina seriously just imply that she thought Will might hurt Lyra?!?

Serafina saying that if protecting Lyra means protecting Will as well... Yes, protect Will please! Protect BOTH of these children, I literally BEG you, they’ve gone through far too much

Ooh okay so the witch ritual/spell was kind of cool to see!

Lyra saying “please tell me he’ll be alright” 😭♥️

The fact that Lyra curled up close to Will and then Pan (in ermine form) curled up CLOSER to Will is so cute, they both love Will so much

Pan: “We feel safe her... don’t we?” / OOF OKAY THIS IS F I N E

I already know what Lyra’s “other name” is because I read the book but the hints are anything BUT subtle tbh. “Mother of us all, cause of all sin, tempted by the serpent”... I’m not even that religious but I think it’s pretty obvious.

Also, if Mary is playing the part of the “serpent” within Lyra’s destiny, does that mean that Mary has tempted Lyra? Or that she will?

Boreal being nervous about being in the city and Marisa is just so unimpressed by him... Mood

That smirk she had when going up to that Spectre victim was so chilling, we have to stan Ruth Wilson and her incredible acting

Also, fun fact, Ruth Wilson went to my sixth form college and is from Surrey (like me), and she grew up in Shepperton, which is where my Nan used to live when she was alive (my uncle and aunt live there still), so that’s super exciting!

“We could learn from this” - PLEASE DO NOT MA’AM

God I hate the Magisterium so fucking much, the patriarchy is so strong with them

Oh great, now they’re gunning to kill Lyra :/

Also, off topic, I’ve only just connected that Will Keen, who plays Father MacPhail, is Dafne Keen’s dad?!?

“She’s lost a lot for one so young” - AND SHE’S STILL GOING TO LOSE PEOPLE, WHY IS THIS FAIR PHILIP PULLMAN 😭

“She must be protected” - AGAIN, they BOTH need protecting PLEASE

The Spectre noises reminded me of the noises of the Smoke Monster from LOST, so that’s definitely trippy for me

Thanks, I hate it

I nearly shouted “WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING” out loud in front of both my parents, I seriously thought she had a damn death wish

I have never been so damn tense in my entire life as I am watching this show - and I KNOW what happens

HOW DID SHE DO THAT WITH THE SPECTRES SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN

Lee’s so worried about Lyra - 11/10, Father of the Year

The Magisterium airships... NO. FUCK. WE’RE AT THAT POINT ALREADY AND IM NOT OKAY BECAUSE I KNOW HOW AND WHERE THIS ENDS AND I HATE IT

I deadass thought Marisa and Carlo were about to kiss when he ran up to her and I actually said out loud “NO please don’t”

Look I must just be so dirty minded but when she said “let’s celebrate”, my immediate reaction was “NO NO NO NO EW EW EW NO” and “I hope she just means having a drink and not doing the frickety-frack”

I was so close to tearing up as Will was talking about his mum, her illness, and the boys who were mean to her because of it. His love for his mum is so beautifully written and the way Amir Wilson is playing Will is so wonderful

I was also close to tears when he was talking about his dad and how he used to imagine about his dad, so maybe I’m just emotional anyway

“Could go to school... have friends” - okay yeah no I’m definitely crying 😭

“I couldn’t trust anyone.” “Until you met me.” “Yeah.” - EXCUSE ME ♥️😭 my HEART

I love one (1) soft boy, and one (1) feral girl and her dæmon

The relief I felt when I saw Marisa and Carlo were literally just having drinks 😅

“They consume what makes us human, so I just suppressed that and hid it” + *cut to the monkey looking kinda sad/uncomfortable* - Umm fUCK OKAY THEN

Why am I feeling sorry for the monkey?!?

“You think we’re equal?” - LMFAO RIGHT

EWW THEY KISSED. No, just... nO

When I saw his snake dæmon moving towards her monkey, I thought one of two things was about to happen: 1) the monkey was going to pet and paw and the snake as Marisa seduced Boreal, or 3) the monkey was going to strange the snake and kill Boreal

OKAY THIS TOOK A SHARP BUT NOT UNWELCOMED TURN

“You’ve NEVER been my equal.” “You’d only hold me back.” - OH MY GOD YES THE SHADE

She’s not wrong though let’s be honest here

So she poisoned him I’m assuming? She poisoned his drink because the monkey didn’t actually touch the snake... damn.

Her just sitting there and continuing to drink with his dead body there is... damn.

“Into that valley” NO NO, please no

Jopari really just summoned a whole damn storm huh

Also the fact he fully trusts in Lee’s abilities to land them safely :3

Lee: “Can we trust him?” // Hester: “Do we have another choice?!!” - LMFAO I love them so much

THE WAY I NEARLY SCREAMED WHEN THAT WITCH GOT ATTACKED BY A SPECTRE OMFG AT LEAST WILL WAS THERE TO SAVE HER

Okay but did Marisa REALLY sit there for HOURS with Boreal’s corpse sitting opposite her?!?

Her burning her hand on the flame in front of the monkey, and the monkey clearly whimpering and in pain was so agonizing to watch, I can’t take this show

Also, you have to wonder just how many times she’s harmed herself (and him) for her to keep doing it with next to no problems (like separating from each other all the time)

I was so excited to see the birds attacking the zeppelins, like it was one of my favourite details in the book, and I worried that they wouldn’t have the budget for it but yay!

I do kind of wish that we’d had Sayan Kötor as the “eagle Queen” leading them though - she probably was but I wish we’d actually seen it or heard Jopari say it or whatever

THEY SHOT THE GAS CANNISTER OH SHIT THEY’RE GOING DOWN HARD AND FAST IN THAT BALLOON

HOLD ON BBC YOU CANNOT END THIS THERE?!? EXCUSE ME?!

The last episode is next week and on an hour earlier, so that’s exciting! I have no idea what I’ll do once this series ends, or when we’ll even get the third and final series because of COVID and filming delays, but I’m excited for it nonetheless and hoping it’s next November/December or something!

[certifiedceraunophile]

For the Would You Ever Write ask, because I want to see your angry/controversial opinions: would you ever write AU/AH? Klaus can't be a criminal. They have to both be normal people. He can't stab or eat anyone. (And if you would write this, what would the set-up be?) Also, because I know the answer, but I want to see you foam at the mouth: would you ever, under any circumstances, write Caroline as meek?

Firs of all. It’s 9 fucking am in the morning and I hope you’re happy that the first thing I did today was curse your cursed name; I went: Jenn. That Fucking Bitch.

But anyway, Here’s the thing: I actually have this one very specific AH/AU where Klaus and Caroline are Not Murder-y. W i l d as shit I know, I’m entirely sure you’re disappointed in me. BUT! it’s like this very very very Niche trope that I will actually K I L L for.

I have an unhealthy like truly unhealthy obsession with football players [not the bs American kind, get the game’s name out of your damn mouth] but Actual football, like I cannot explain it, I was actually texting Kelly a while ago about how Football players are just a separate brand of HOTNESS, And we’ve both come to the conclusion that like it’s definitely some primal response that makes them so attractive to me, and like evolution of all things is the only thing that can explain why I go feral for them lmfao, and also Ted Lasso [a show entirely about a football club] is my favourite fucking show atm so all of that combined, I would literally die and kill for a Football AU with Klaus as a big mean arrogant and  temperamental football captain playing for one of the giants in the premier league and then Caroline comes along and he like trips down the metaphorical stairs of life and falls face first for her when Caroline is like being her usual snarky mostly tactless borderline bitchy sunshine self, basically Caroline is mean to him and Klaus melts. She does not hold back on letting him know what an absolute jerk he is and Klaus is like “well problem is sweetheart, I want to be your jerk” lmao. Like I imagine Enzo is part of the team and is the biggest lil shit and Caroline and Enzo hit it off as besties and Klaus is just F u m i n g in the sidelines and is like constantly growling beneath his breath about how men who are, biologically speaking, more closely related to the domestic canine species than most people should not have the right to breathe in the same air as His Angelic Caroline. 

OH and Caroline is the team’s  sweetheart and hypewomen, I’m thinking she does PR for them, but basically she’s loved by all [as is law] and Klaus really reallly grapples with his cavemen tendencies to just throw her over his shoulder and go around growling Mine. 

aaaaaaand at one point, in the future, Klaus wants his last name in the jersey changed to FORBES lmao if you know what I mean.

So basically yeah this is the only AH/AU I will write myself where Klaus can’t like Kill and have tea parties with the dead bodies, and it is a Sacrifice I am willing to make only for this one AU because the sizzling Hotness of a Football Player™ is just goddamn irresistible GAH.

Like I’ll be honest, excluding the above AU, I think the best I could do AH/AU wise where Klaus can’t be murder-y will still be a Crime AU, like he’ll have to At Least be a Pretentious Brilliant Thief or Conman or some sort of criminal who maybe doesnt kill but like he HAS to be a Bad Guy™, I mean I can’t possibly imagine myself writing an AU where he isnt criminally fucking shit up as is his calling on Earth.

THAT BEING SAID I LOVE READING HUMAN AU’S WHERE HE’S LIKE NORMAL AND NOT MURDER-Y AND AM GRANDLY ENETRATINED BY THEM, IT’S JUST THAT I  DONT HAVE THE TALENT TO WRITE THEM MYSELF AND ALSO MAKE EM INTERESTING BECAUSE MY INTERESTS AND TALENTS LIE IN MAKING HIM AS LOVABLY DEPLORABLE AS POSSIBLE.

And now as for meek Caroline.  putting this under a cut cuz this shit gets violent.

You’re such a Bitch.

OHMYGOD do you *want* me to go off? do you want me to sit here and yell about all the different torture techniques I will sit through before writing three words that may or may not compound to portray Caroline as this Person who is like Pure [gag] sweet [gag] Do No Bad [gag] and will take all the categorically terrible shit thrown her way cuz that is Grace™, because Lemme tell you I’d rather fling myself into the sun or choke on petroleum before doing that. 

ALSO BEFORE EMBARKING ON THIS RANT I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THESE ARE JUST *MY* OPINIONS THESE ARE BY NO MEANS THE TRUTH OR THE ONLY VALID SET OF OPINIONS; I DONT CLAIM THEM TO BE SO, SO PLEASE DONT ASSUME THIS IS AN ATTACK ON ANYONE WHO HAS A DIFFERENT SET OF OPINIONS WHICH WILL ALWAYS BE JUST AS VALID AS MINE.

Now with that out of they way:

If you write Caroline in a naturally violent/ high stakes/ Dangerous AU where Caroline herself is understandably allowed to be violent, and her immediate response to being wronged isnt Fire and Fury and Vengeance in a stunningly calculated and shrewd fashion, honey sorry to say you’re doing it wrong. Like if Caroline is wronged by Anyone, she will pay them back in kind and she will Not be holding back her punches. 

Caroline takes no shit, from anyone but like least of all from Klaus, and if he fucks up even just once (1) there is no going back Until Caroline has exhausted every last drop of Anger in her. 

Like I simply don’t get how a Caroline who is meek and forgiving and accepting of other people’s wrongs against her can exist? LIKE SHE’S A WHOLEASS BITCH IF YOU HAVENT NOTICED AND SHE’S GONNA TURN AROUND AND FUCK SHIT UP FOR YOU. I cannot understand how Caroline can be written as someone who just conveniently rolls over and takes shit? I mean omg any response to being severely wronged that isnt an immediate thirst for blood, or at the very least, ANGER within Caroline is, as viewed by me, pathetic. Like I’ve read soo many fics [was even forced to read one against my will so my saltiness to an extent, regarding this subject, is valid] where Caroline is supposedly this pure Good Girl™ person who can do no wrong and take no revenge, because vengeance and anger is not only beneath her but reacting violently [aka appropriately] to her being Grossly Wronged would somehow taint the ✨light✨ in her, and now folks We Do Not Want That, because HOW IMPORTANT IS A WOMEN’S LIGHT!!! You gotta be pure Saintly white in all your doings to be able to shine like an LED bulb!!! which btw is a super valid goal you can have!!! Because somehow when Rihanna said “Shine Bright like a Diamond” in the fine print under the Terms and Conditions section it was Clearly stated: Only applicable if a terribly wronged women denounces murder, revenge, vengeance, anger, blood thirst and everything else fun and happy that makes life worth living in the name of Retaining her ~~purity~~ 

 LIKE HONEY STFU AND LET SOME HEADS ROLL. 

Like a Meek Caroline can be written a hundred different ways and all those hundred different ways infuriate me like hell but there are two instances that make me violently froth at the mouth:

One is when people are out here writing Caroline being wronged so G R A V E L Y by Klaus and her response to this is somehow: He’s a Dark Man, I’ve known this All along especially before letting him make Me the final resting place for his dick! so honestly speaking W h o ‘s fault is it?? like omg I wanna bite and chew paper when I see bs like this.

And the other is when it isnt Klaus wronging her and someone else being a bitch I’ve seen ff’s do something Even Worse and get Caroline to outsource the revenge taking part of business to Klaus LIKE TF DOES KLAUS LOOK LIKE, an Indian?? [listen I’m allowed these racist jokes bc I’m Indian] Like BABE NO put that knife back in Caroline’s hands let her stab who ever she wants herself! 

And also the idea of Caroline being generally meek, regardless of being wronged, is like huh??? to me, no like seriously did we watch the same show??? this girl literally Bullies Klaus and Klaus melts for her, that is like their whole dynamic, she’s mean as shit to the BIG BAD VIOLENT ALMOST GODLY POWERFUL WOLF and he’s like That One....that’s the Woman I want to spend the rest of eternity with. There isnt even One (1) Canon scene where Caroline lets Klaus get away with his BS, each time every time she holds him accountable and let’s him know what a bitch he is, AND KLAUS LOVES THAT [well not exactly but that’s one of the things that makes Caroline so irresistible to him], So honestly w h o are you doing favours by writing Caroline as someone who just looks at Klaus being a Giant Jerk and goes, it’s ok baby I understand :))))))

But also Caroline in general is a sassy bitch through out the show, like forget Klaus, just by herself she’s mean and catty much like Rebekah or Katherine, Sure she is an adorable sunshine baby who is kind and loving to the people she cares about, is loyal with the strength of the Himalayas and takes it upon herself to pour her love without any restraint over anyone she decides to commit to either platonically or romantically, but like this why we have multifaceted female characters who are bitches while being good lovable people too man. Like honestly fics where Klaus falls for Caroline bc she’s characterized as pure and good and kind or whatever 2-D bullshit makes no sense to me. 

ok so I’ve rambled on a lot but tldr: IF CAROLINE AINT OUT HERE GRABBING MEN BY THE BALLS AND TWISTING THEM LIKE DOORKNOBS FOR BEING JERKS as brought to you by Wherewith to Sate It’s Malice by Jenn RIGHT FROM THE GET-GO [Like I remember Caroline doing that to Klaus during their meet cute lmao because he barged in to her place and was being his usual arrogant dick self] THEN I DON’T WANT IT. 

lmao But also if making Caroline forgiving and small is your thing, you do you babe, just make sure to tag it as Caroline is Everyone’s Lil Bitch on ao3 so I can stay tf away from it.

but ok ok all jokes aside, please if I offended anyone with this post and if some author reads this and thinks it’s directed at them please know it isnt, [it most definitely isnt like I assure you] it’s just me airing my opinions that are as valid as ones that are directly opposite to mine, regarding the subject, and I mean no harm by this post. so please dont be mad lmao.