#oh God it's 2am here

[wondercloud]

just discovered this obscurely underrated david character named martin lamb from a tv show back in 2018.

tell me how this fella's the prettiest guy i've ever seen in my life. he looks (and acts, just watch his scenes) like a (cute) little freak. but tell me how i fell in love with him the SECOND i saw his face. i had a whole menty b realizing how underrated he is. it genuinely hurts. and he only got like, 2 minutes in the whole show. what the hell.

he's like this perfect combination of cale, alec, and that driving instructor guy from learners, chris. what an insane combo. i am so done for. WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP FALLING FOR SUCH OBSCURE CHARACTERS. GOD. HELP ME.

ALSO ALSO ALSO. i haven't watched the entirety of his scenes because i'm saving it for later but he seems socially anxious. HUGE social anxiety sufferer vibe. which makes this all the more personal to me. you don't get it. he's literally me i'm afraid. (actually maybe not because i haven't watched all of him yet.. he could literally be some really effed up guy so yeah maybe not..) but SO FAR, the first few minutes of his scenes have showed that he's literally just like me fr.

stay tuned for updates.

[charmac]

Which episodes have the best Dennis and Mac ship moments?

I wouldn't necessarily say Mac and Dennis have "ship moments" that you can pick and label as the "best" (other than what would make sense as scenes for compilations/edits?) and I'll defer to @psymachine's answer to a question similar to this: don't watch this show for Macdennis moments/episodes.

I can pretty confidently say that Mac and Dennis (and the show) will be lost on whomever decides to go at it through the lens of "best ship moments". Because what is considered a good "ship moment" for something as fucked as their relationship?

Mac is canonically admittedly in love with Dennis, so it's not hard to pull a ton of "ship moments" from his relentless pursuit: you have attempted kissing, erotic dreams, baby trapping, sex doll Dennis, room trapping...all stellar attempts on Mac's side and all important aspects for their relationship (Gets Romantic being one of my favourite episodes), but those moments are almost all, in the most blatant way to put it, sexual harassment. Sexual harassment of Dennis that was essentially born and grown from Dennis' conditioning of Mac's sex life in the seasons before: making and recording sex tapes for him, teaching him the best way to get sex is through carefully orchestrated systems and schemes made up of lies and deceit, that getting off has very little to do with a second (willing) participant.

Barring their individual personalities and mental illnesses, what ends up coming from Mac heavily relies on what comes from Dennis years before, and what is eventually ongoing between both of them (reaching batshit levels of sex chicken) exists among and within that all. IMO, placing any specific "best" on a moment for them as a ship is almost impossible without reference to everything before it (and an actual understanding of it all).

That being all said, what I would call the best ship moments for the two of them are what's hidden between and underneath the hard punches of their back and forth, the subtleties that are continually ongoing (mostly the ones that lead you to understand that Dennis is in it, even when Mac is on the offensive), this shit that's impossible to pin out of context:

The way Dennis gets even stupider when he's wrapped up in an idea with Mac (Timeshare, for example) and the way he attempts to cut off his outbursts when dealing with Mac's own stupidity (see Frank Retires) (and Recession is great for both of these). The fact that Dennis will push past his own grievances for little reason other than to make Mac happy (Suburbs) and the fact that at the end of it all, he's always going to end up going home with Mac (Divorced.. mm). (For all of this in one shot: Inflates)

And for Mac, in more recent events with Dennis on the offensive, when his ever desperate vie for Dennis' attention and affection is pushed back on in favour of being the Mac Dennis truly wants. The Mac Dennis fell in love with decades ago.

[amid-fandoms]

the urge to rewatch good omens for the 86th time because of aziraphil is clawing at my throat rn

[abusivelittlebunny]

The security guy at the Frankfurt train station McDonald's looks like Pedro Pascal and I'm going insane delirious from my day long travel imagining security guard Javier railing 2am drunken depressed McDonald's visitor Steve in one of the booths.

[orioncore]

forgive the cropping but here are the silly idol gems I've designed thus far

additional mado design w/o the skirt

[riverflowsanywherebuthere]

All of y’all on the other side of the world staying awake for the monarchical summit drop, sending coffee (or tea or energy drinks) and vibes

Stay strong ㅠ0ㅠ

[blessedmoonsoul]

that being said....self titled was just such a moment tho like when i say that was a formative album for me i mean that shit

[syrenki]

does anybody know how to manage arachnophobia? i'm physically shaking, covered in snot and tears, tired, but unable to go to sleep because i don't know where the spider in my room went

[todayisafridaynight]

if i think bout ichi going to jiro kasuga's grave and arakawa accompanying him Maybe At Least Once i just might explode

[avantguardisme]

favorite thing about my local gay bar is that sometimes there will just be cowboys there. not as part of a show or theme night or anything there are just these 3 guys who will sometimes just show up in full cowboy get up and dance their asses off. gay icons honestly.

[theoptimisticfatalist]

i am never drinking starbucks coffee again

[justabunchofdragons]

HI LOVE WHY ARE YOU AWAKE AT *checks watch* FUCKING EARLY AS SHIT IN THE MORNING???

IM ON HOLIDAY!!! TIMEZONEYS :D its 10am for me rn ^_^

[re-pave]

I figured it out.

12:20am: I spent the past 2 hours walking across the upper west side of Manhattan.

Love. Connection. Nothing else matters. Literally nothing. It doesn’t matter where I am. I need to connect. How do I connect more? How do I love more? Looser inhibitions. It’s hitting me like a ton of bricks, I haven’t actually lived life. Look at all these people at 12am trying to connect. Unsuspecting people who are robots at work (inhibited). I’ve been so afraid…my entire life. The entirety of my life. It’s so deeply engrained. I don’t know exactly why (tbd). How do I connect to my spirit? My soul? I haven’t felt anything in so long, and this is the first night it’s happened. I’m so afraid to touch people (esp men). Emotionally, physically. Have I ever felt comfortable touching someone? And not felt insecure? Truly comfortable. Truly. Initiating. How many people have I slept with? So much emptiness. Point taken. This is the start of a new life. No more being afraid. What makes me afraid? Inhibition. Being too much, not meaning what I say and regretting it. Fuck that. Connection over everything else. Even if it doesn’t feel natural. It’s not going to feel natural at first. How do I lower inhibitions? I know how. Look at all these people. What’re they doing at 12:20am? Connecting. How? Lower inhibitions. There’s a reason alcohol plays the role it does in society and is as common as it is (for better or worse. Accept why its used). And there’s a reason I’ve been hiding from it - fear. There’s nothing wrong with needing help. It’s worth it.

Think about how many people I’ve met this past year. How many people I’ve “talked to”. Too many to remember. I’ve never been more alone. Zero connection. To my soul. To another soul. I haven’t felt anything in so long. Im clearly doing something wrong. So fuck it, full tilt the other way - what’s there to lose? Nothing. I need to overcome the fear of being weird. Anything could be interpreted as weird to someone who is inhibited. There’s no connection without “weirdness”. This is a fear that’s been baked into my psyche forever - it’s hard to overcome without help. Help with being uninhibited. What I’ve been doing hasn’t worked. Playing it safe doesn’t work. Too many inhibitions. What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t like them and don’t want to say something that might be exaggerated? Fuck it. Say it. Even if is exaggerated and doesn’t feel authentic. Say what you’re embarrassed to say. Force the connection at first if you have to. Exercise the muscle. Everyone wants to connect. Let them. Some people might not be ready. Or even be into you. But they want to connect. They want to connect even if it doesn’t mean a relationship. Not every connection has to permanent or life-long. Find confidence in knowing people want to connect. Don’t get deterred from trying - please always try. Stay. When was the last time I didn’t want a night to end? Spending time with someone without inhibition is easier, easier to want to spend time with someone (for everyone). Let that be a gauge: try to create that environment by being uninhibited. Make them tell you to leave.

Everything about the other person becomes more interesting when you’re uninhibited. Boring stuff too. Aim for: “I want to know everything about you”. Nothing is off the table. Remember I can’t do anything wrong. I can’t say anything wrong. In the context of wanting to connect. Bare my soul. Invite them to bare theirs. Don’t overthink, focus on being uninhibited.

I need to feel more connected. Romantically but just as importantly with friends. And family.

I need to do things even if I “regret” what I do. Touch people. Physically. Emotionally. “What if they thought it was too much? Didn’t want it?” Fuck it. No more being embarrassed. So I never see them again. Trying matters. No more meeting and not trying to connect. Leave the interaction knowing that if I did nothing else than trying to connect then I succeeded. There could be a million reasons why something doesn’t work out romantically, I’m now going to try my hardest to not allow being inhibited be one of those reasons. There have been too many missed connections.

Too many people feeling empty. Lower inhibitions. Practice. Pretend youre uninhibited if you need to put your mind there. Remember “this is a what it was like to be uninhibited. To be out of my head” and pretend. Something is clearly wrong. It’s been a year. Hundred of matches. Why don’t I find anyone attractive? No connection. Connection above all else. Being unafraid. I can be shy and want to connect. I can be confident and want to connect. But I have to try to connect. Romantically, platonically, with my environment, with myself. Whatever means. Time to unlock a new dimension. Enough is enough. Too much time wasted.

What matters? Who are you? Growing up. When you were kid. “Who are you?” And meaning it (been a struggle), being curious. Saying something that might be embarrassing. Fuck it. “Here I am”. “What’s your tattoo say” “I’m embarrassed” fuck it. “This is what I struggled with”. It’s not cliche. These thoughts are part of who I am. Bare it. Looser inhibitions. Let’s connect to God. Together. People have souls. Everyone. Yes, really everyone. I’m not better than anyone else. Me not feeling connected is my fault too. Looser inhibitions unlocks this.

Flashbacks to Colin). He might be the last person I felt deeply about? He felt it too. Why? I know why. Looser inhibitions. Full circle back to tonight. Flashbacks to the guy from Princeton, drunk on the subway, “I’ve never felt so alive”. Flashbacks to wandering around midtown (2016? 21 years old?) two gay men come up to me, stumbling, “can you take our picture?” Lost inhibitions (do we seem weird? Who cares). Connected. I don’t think they were from nyc and it reminds me of how unique feeling uninhibited with someone is. How strongly that connects two people. I don’t remember seeing two people happier.

It’s been so long since I’ve been excited about life. I feel exciting about my life now. Excited about becoming myself again. Who I really am. I can’t wait to love more. More unabashedly. I want so much more out of life because I recognize how lucky I am to experience it. I want to go so much deeper. I feel my spirit awakening and I don’t want it to stop.

Looser inhibitions.

Looser inhibitions.

Looser inhibitions.

[razormain]

hsr story so good i accidentally stayed up till 2am finishing it

[undyinglantern]

logically I don’t even think I’m doing horribly (the guy training me told the manager I was doing “pretty well” about handling a “mini-rush”) but mentally my mind keeps telling me oh he’s just lying because we keep getting out breaks at the same time and since I’m practically tailing him of course he’s say that to be nice during the only opportunity to speak to the manager. Only since I’m around and can listen in is he saying something nice.

[sophiagrimes]

when i remember