#ofc relating it is fine on your own terms. hell

[socialc1imb]

Chonny Jash fandom stop relating the meaning of every song and lyric to cccc challenge (HARD MODE)

[deathb8dy]

THOUGHTS ON QUALIA AUTOMATA, TUMBLR EDITION

ORIGINAL POST I MADE WAS PUT ON REDDIT FIRST FROM DISCORD, I'LL JUST COPY AND PASTE WHAT I SAID AS IT'S EASIER. WITH EDITS OFC.

This point on holds spoilers in relation to the newest song 'Lamentations'. Please do not read unless you have seen the song OR are fine with it. Also this all will be copied and pasted from discord with edits to include examples (at least for the lyrics and such.)

If you have any comments or criticisms to make, please do so.

spoilers begin below here.

Even in the initial impression, the song about Fayrouz is the MOST human out of the three. In RBB, it's very mechanical and erratic in wording (no rhyming scheme at all but it still made sense for a song). In EWN it's still mechanical but has some humanity to it if that makes sense.

But both songs of the machines you can tell something is off.

Example in lyrics:

Tamari uses more nonsensical and complicated words as if to compensate for a lack of understanding. These words also tend to not make sense with each other either.

(EX; ‘Invite Suicidation, Transfer Enumeration’ is a great example. Suicidation is obviously about yk. But fun fact, it’s not even a word! And Enumeration is “the action of mentioning a number of things one by one.” Compared to the rest of the song of RBB, it does NOT make sense at all.)

Mariyam has more simple terms used and a rhyming scheme but still reverts to what Tamari does... And also references some really obscure stuff (Such as a french women's asylum!) that no one who would go looking would understand.

(EX; The lyric I mentioned is “Fleeting words in pen, I tell the story of Salpêtrière” with the last word in reference to ‘an institution founded in Paris in 1656 as an asylum for the infirm, aged, and insane. At one time, it contained nearly 10,000 people, and treatment was proverbially brutal.’ Which… is ironic since Mariyam is meant to be a therapist)

Example in art:

Tamari is FULL of references and barely anything that's actually their own design. While cool as hell, Tamari is basically what an AI does... Generate images/prompts based on wording and such. Which is likely why Tamari is so ... erratic!

Mariyam on the other hand does have more original art but most of it is ALL black and white until the end with Tamari. And even then, it's not complicated art with a lot of details unless with Tamari and even then... She still fails to have something to be put to human

And music wise:

Both songs are VERY metallic noise-wise with choir like sounds within the instrumentals. Both beginning and end. Tamari specifically has the "jumpscare scream" while Mariyam has just more "clock/chime" motifs. It's all still mechanical without any sort of "organic" tones if that makes sense

FAYROUZ ON THE OTHER HAND. Despite being the "villain" of the story is the most human.

Lyrics - She uses the most simple BUT effective words that aren't overly complicated/nonsensical (Tamari) or aren't as impactful as they should be (Mariyam)

PV - Unlike the two, I just noticed it's just a static one image pv as well as it's fully colored. Tamari and Mariyam had movements in their pvs, like they are trying to move to humanity but also how AI is always constantly shifting.

Music - THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE. It has some mechanical elements (like the 'siren' like sounds in the beginning and end) BUT IT HAS MORE ORGANIC SOUNDS UNLIKE THE GRITTY GEAR LIKE SOUNDS YOU HEAR IN RBB AND EWN

Fayrouz also admits to being at fault but pushes on to do better (at her work, mess up on words but ykyk). Which is ironic isn't it? Her creations are more "human" than she is. Which lyrically also- Fayrouz references more mechanical functions while Tamari and Mariyam reference more humane functions.

EX:

Tamari - My stomach turned at the thought of the stars / And my heart pounded louder than the ones I had before

Mariyam - Though you’ll never die, you’ve found that / All eyes are staring at your hands

Fayrouz - Restarting, rebooting null programs / Running, debugging their brains /Forging and sorting successes

AND FINALLY. Tuning wise, Fayrouz sounds more human (if it's intentional or not) but still has the lyrics that are guilt based BUT focused fully on being like a human machine. If you are raised up to be a "machine".... how can you even know otherwise? Tamari and Mariyam are learning to have humanity, Fayrouz lost hers due to the loss of her husband and control over what she had (aka the siblings)

(out of context but it’s related to how different the first two songs are to the newest.)

It makes you think it'll be the same as the two but it's not because Fayrouz is meant to have humanity. She's human after all no?

ANYWAYS.

Basically:

Paradoxical shit of the Robots being more human than their creator who’s losing her humanity with the losses she’s had.

BONUS: Forgot to mention since I made this BEFORE Mors made the tweet out. The title of the series supports what I said heavily.

Qualia, according to wikipedia, "... are defined as individual instances of subjective, conscious experience."

While automata means (according to google) "... a moving mechanical device made in imitation of a human being." but also "...used in similes and comparisons to refer to a person who seems to act in a mechanical or unemotional way."

[black-coffee-and-sugar]

Fair warning: it's a long post. Let's examine some of the reasons that Kara has cited why she didn't tell Lena the super secret:

1. She wanted to protect her

Now, this one has some legs on it as Kara specifically mentions it in S3 during a conversation with James and Mon-El. And there's definitely some truth to it. But it's also bullshit. Lena was in constant danger and put herself at risk to save/protect Kara who didn't actually need it. In fact, the first time Lena's mentioned (not shown just mentioned) it's in regards to the venture explosion - something that happened because Lex was trying to kill her. People have been trying to kill, kidnap, manipulate, threaten Lena since minute one. Knowing Kara = SG would not have severely worsened any of that. In fact, it might've helped ease Lena's anxieties and resulted in her taking less risks with her life. In fact, I'm surprised Lena didn't think that Kara's association with her was putting Kara at risk (a far more likely thing).

The 100th episode addresses this to some degree in one of the AUs. Lena tells Kara that she wouldn't have had to risk her life dealing with Sam/Reign alone if she'd known the truth and she's absolutely right. And sure, Lena could've told SG and the DEO when she pieced Reign = Sam together but ask yourself, why would she? What assurance did she have that the DEO would not have treated her BEST FRIEND like a hostile instead of someone in need of help? The DEO is guilty of this and they have a history of locking up aliens indefinitely and on occassion straight up murder. After Reign nearly killed their biggest asset (i.e. SG) why in the hell would Lena trust them with helping Sam? She wouldn't nor should she have. She didn't know that she could go to SG because remember, Lena doesn't think of her the same way she does of Kara. SG is not her best friend. She doesn't have a personal, humanized relationship with her (at least not that she knows of). And obviously she's not going to tell Kara the human reporter with the DEO agent sister about it either. And the kryptonite? SG lost her shit over it even though she's been working with the DEO who stockpiled the stuff until SM left with it (a dumbass move that would've bit them so hard in the ass with the WK situation if it weren't for Lena's kryptonite!). Plus, Kara didn't have an issue with Oliver having a kryptonite arrow, J'onn having a sword. But Lena? How dare she!

So yea no. I get that "I kept my secret to protect you" is a popular thing in the hero world but in the case of Kara and Lena, it doesn't make sense and it did make situations unnecessarily harder.

2. She didn't trust Lena

This is mentioned by Kara to William in a deleted scene from S5 but I think it's worth exploring. I'm not sure to what extent Kara means with this but it could be referring to the moments as SG where she did display a distrust of Lena's intentions and she used Lena's personal relationships against her (i.e. asking James to break into Lena's lab). I mentioned the S3 shitshow with the kryptonite which is where a lot of this started but there's also other scenes in that same season where SG pretty much calls into question the so-called trust she has in Lena despite claiming otherwise. The switch was so abrupt the minute she learned Lena not only had but knew how to make kryptonite. Did anyone ever consider why Lena would bother learning how to make kryptonite? I'd hazard a guess that it was something she was looking into even before Sam/Reign. I think she happened to find Lex's stock and she decided to learn how it works and why it affects the Supers like it does. That would explain how Lena seems to be the ONLY ONE able to make an anti-kryptonite suit and other viable forms of the rock (i.e. Harun el). But no, SG and others immediately jump to the worst conclusions and associate the endeavour with Lena's last name, something SG KNOWS Lena is sensitive about it. And then the harun el. SG was suddenly fine with Lena making it when it was to split Sam from Reign and save Argo from extinction. But when it was used for something else that Lena didn't clue her in on (and what do you know, Alex, Brainy and James didn't either and they KNEW what Lena was doing with it) she got back on her high horse and the distrust became front and centre. You can't trust Lena as Kara and then immediately distrust her as SG and expect her to be accepting of this dichotomy. I'm surprised the woman managed to retain her sanity.

And still, this reasoning doesn't quite hit the mark in comparison to every other insistence of Kara believing in Lena (from day one she even told Clark that she believed Lena after meeting her for the first time). But the contrasting opinions and actions must have given Lena pause. I don't blame her to call into question which version of the truth was real and choosing to believe the worst. It's what SG and the SFs have been doing to her.

3. She was wary of Lena

This isn't an explicitly given reason but I do think it's how the secret keeping started in S2. Frankly, I don't even blame Kara for not showing her full deck in the beginning because she (and even us as an audience) didn't know much about Lena beyond wanting to do good and not be like her family. So no, Kara not telling Lena in the beginning actually makes sense to me (though she told Nia in a split second but that's neither here nor there). For me, I started to seriously take Lena at her word after the Medusa episode. That would've been the perfect opportunity for her to show the true "xenophobic" colours some parts of the fandom accuse her of having and she didn't do it. I don't think she even got so much as a thank you for it. People praise SM for getting Lex arrested but ultimately it was Lena's testimony that got him thrown behind bars. Same thing with Lillian! And yes, the daxamite invasion was facilitated by Lena unwittingly working with Rhea but she fixed it with the lead dispersal bomb, a device she allowed SG the privilege of using or not. So Kara and the SFs being cautious about Lena really should've evaporated halfway through S2 (and it did for Kara at least). In fact, the daxamite invasion may not have happened if Lena knew exactly who Rhea was and her relation to Mon-El because they would've warned Lena about it. Lena did want Kara's advice on Rhea and she would've waited for it if she knew what was going on (i.e. Alex being held hostage) and hell, might've been able to fix it in typical Lena ex machina fashion.

4. She didn't want to lose her

This is probably as close to the truth as we've gotten and it's actually part of her confession in 5x01 (something her outburst in 5x19 tries to undo). But the thing is, Kara KNEW this was a possibility and yet, continued walking towards the deadly cliff with her eyes wide open. The probability of losing Lena got higher and higher as time went on and it was always inevitable. There was always this spotlight placed on Kara telling Lena or Lena finding out on her own but there was always a HUGE chance that Lillian would've told her. Or Lex, which is exactly what happened. And Kara knew that they knew and yet she did nothing about it. The minute kara found out Lillian knew she should've taken action, what guarantee did she have that Lillian wouldn't have gotten bored of waiting for Lena to piece it together? How can they just leave Lillian with dangerous knowledge like that is beyond me. When Alex in particular has made such a big deal about people knowing, didn't want Kara telling Lena, only allowed Kara to tell Lucy to save J'onn and yet, letting Lillian amble about with this info is okay??? Nothing was stopping her from telling Lena or it slipping during one their chess games and definitely nothing stopping Lex from dropping that bomb.

The 100th episode AUs showed us that each time it was Kara telling the truth, no matter how hurt and upset Lena rightfully was, she was ultimately fine with it. And Kara ends up losing her to death, not because Lena walked away. How this wasn't the takeaway message for Kara after that adventure, idk. It was Kara's hesitatancy in telling Lena that allowed Lex to weaponize this secret and twist it into something it never was. And yes, Kara doesn't owe a damn soul her secret and has rarely ever been given the chance to tell anyone on her own terms (James - told by SM, Alex, J'onn, Brainy, Mon-El, the Legion - always knew, Lex & Lillian, Lord & Cat - found out somehow). She only ever got to tell Winn, Lucy and Nia and I'm sorry but none of those people have ever proven themselves trustworthy at the time of the reveal the way Lena has.

So while Kara is every right to keep her secrets, she was wrong to insert herself in Lena's life if she never had any intention of telling her and let's be honest, it really didn't seem like Kara had any timeline on that front.

5. She was selfish

Similar to the above and also mentioned during the confession but this is even deeper. Lena was something of an outlet for Kara, a way to feel completely normal, something she hasn't been able to experience with anyone, even Mon-El. Can you imagine being a cub reporter who knows powerful CEO Lena Luthor and having said CEO choose to spend time with you? Choose to let you interview her when she's wary of the press (remember her interactions with Clark in 2x01 and her family history)? Choose to treat your problems as important and valid and human? I don't blame Kara at all for being selfish with Lena, for wanting to keep Lena all to herself like that. But to not share the other aspects of herself was seriously wrong too and resulted in this imbalance in their relationship. To Lena, it looks like she was giving all of herself when Kara was not. It looks like she put all her trust and vulnerabilities out there when Kara didn't. It looks like Kara was using her (which let's be real, she kinda did a few times in S2 with the fight club and bs article to get info on Lillian and then ofc the CatCo-Edge problem she visited Lena for after ignoring her and proceeding to continue the rejection after Lena said she'd look into it).

You think post-reveal Lena didn't think back to all those moments and have those kinda thoughts? Even called into question what might've been the real reason James dated her and Kara was so insistent on befriending her? Were there perhaps times were she figured it out and can't remember and what's why she chose not to see it? Why do we think she still showed up game night in 4x22 instead of confronting Kara? Because these thoughts amongst others must've been swarming her mind and the only way to keep the upper hand is to continue playing dumb. So yes, Kara made the conscious decision to be selfish with Lena because of the unexpected connection they forged and I get it totally. But Lena has never been selfish and she's always made hard efforts to be a damn good friend (and she was idc what others might think on that) and open herself up to Kara despite how difficult and frankly foreign that is for her.

So are Kara's reasons valid? To a point, I would say yes but their validity waned over the seasons to the point where the secret keeping didn't even make sense anymore.

So was Lena's anger valid? Yes! 100% it was and honestly, I'm surprised she managed to keep it together for so long. I couldn't. But her anger doesn't justify her actions (mind control, manipulating Kara, threatening Russell, holding J'onn's bro captive, putting Hope inside Eve) and how she went out of her way to hurt Kara back. However, I get why she did it though it's worth pointing out that this is the only instances of a betrayal in her life where Lena has gone this far. Bitch straight up spiralled where previously she would cut ties and move the fuck on with life. But with Kara, that doesn't even seem to manifest itself to Lena as an option. Will the show ever address the obvious WHY for this and for Kara being so so terrified of losing Lena (like honestly I have never seen Kara look more distressed).

Maybe, maybe not but regardless I'm not buying this platonic friends nonsense because no one is that devastated over a friendship. Many of us (myself included) have experienced falling outs with very close friends and breakups. Which one do you think the Kara/Lena rift in S5 felt like? It was full on heartbreak, loving someone in complete torment and not being able to stop despite wanting to because even though it's painful, the alternative is infinitely worse.

MB and KM's acting choices aside, these idiot showrunners have brought us to this point with their own narrative and the only logical next step is to make them canon.

Lol okay I'm done.

[shouta-aizawow]

1) Hope u are ok, i will let you this one here. Bakugou coming out as asexual-aromanitc, and having to explain to everyone what is it. (And if you want angst, people not believing him, that he's not grown enough to know, all that bullshit) Sorry is a little bit of proyection.

I’m doing well, thank you!!! And dw, I project HARDCORE and I also LOVE aroace Katsuki so it’s all good!! (i’m actually gonna project a bit in this one lol)

OKAY!!!

When the other kids were busy talking about crushes and who they were dating, Katsuki was focused on becoming a hero.

He had no time for romance, especially that sappy type he always sees on tv.

No, Katsuki was gonna become the greatest hero, and he would do that alone.

He never thought much of it. It didn’t seem unusual to him that he never had an interest in anyone else, that he couldn’t join in on conversations where the topic was romantic love or sexual attraction.

In fact, he felt smug when all the other extras were held down by girlfriends and boyfriends and datemates while he was forging on ahead. Seeing the confusion and awe on their faces when he told them that he had never been attracted to anyone was enough to erase the slight embarrassment he felt at not being able to relate to them.

Katsuki was invincible, unaffected by the curse that is romantic and sexual attraction, and he needs to let everybody know it.

(A few years later, at the tender age of 13, Katsuki finds he isn’t a superior being, he’s just aroace...

Well... okay then.)

He is aroace and still unaffected by the curse that is romantic and sexual attraction!

He didn’t really have friends to share his epiphany with, and the extras that followed him around were too dense to know what he was talking about to care. Besides, they’d probably just hear that he wasn’t attracted to girls and throw a fit.

Anyway, it’s not like he really wants to share this. No, this information is for Katsuki and Katsuki only.

But when he gets into UA, starts building a, admittedly reluctant at first, relationship with his classmates, the desire to tell them something he’s kept locked away grows.

It all comes to a head one night at the dorms. It’s a rare night of him hanging out in the common room with most of his other classmates.

Katsuki doesn’t know how the conversation steers this way, but the topic is now crushes. Some people are coming out, some people are just observing. Katsuki is becoming bored, and just as he gets up to leave, he’s noticed and asked, “Who do you have a crush on?”

He’s tempted to ignore the question, but surrounded by this open group of people that showed their support whenever someone revealed themself to be gay or bisexual or pan, he has the urge to let them know this part of him as well.

So he replies. “I don’t have one.”

“So who did you have a crush on?”

“Never had one either, Earjacks.”

Everyone becomes interested now.

Jirou looks skeptical, “It’s not weak to have a crush, yknow. If you don’t wanna tell us, fine, but to lie—”

“I ain’t lying, I’m aroace.”

There’s silent confusion, and Katsuki’s heartbeat thunders in his chest.

Someone asks what that is and, huffing, Katsuki tells them, “It means I don’t experience romantic, aro, or sexual, ace, attraction.”

They ignore his muttered “dumbasses” in favor of questioning him with a “You don’t, or you haven’t?”

“I just said I don’t. What are you on about?”

Kaminari then decides to speak up. “Dude, just give it time! You don’t know who you’re gonna meet that’ll knock you right off those stubborn feet of yours.” And he punctuates it with a wink.

Katsuki is getting annoyed.

“Okay, whatever. If that happens, that happens, but right now, it hasn’t. Therefore, I’m choosing the label aroace.”

Momo, with a finger on her chin and a contemplative expression on her face decides to voice, “But aren’t you acting a little hasty, Bakugou-kun? You shouldn’t use such a definitive label when you’re so young.”

Some people are voicing their agreement, and Katsuki feels like screaming, but he’s too busy being frozen in shock, looking at Momo with with the most incredulous look he could muster.

“What the actual fuck? How is me calling myself aroace any more ‘definitive’ than y’all calling yourself gay?” He can’t help the crack in his voice as he continues, “I’m genuinely confused.”

Before they could reply, Katsuki asks his own question with the most deadpan look he could offer:

“Do you ever wanna date a cat?”

There are exclamations of “No” and looks of bewilderment, but Katsuki continues, crossing his arms.

“Well I don’t think you should act so certain. I mean, maybe you haven’t met the right cat, yet.”

They’re telling him that that’s different, shouldn’t be used as an argument.

But then Kirishima perks up, and Katsuki feels dread consume him.

“Love, or don’t love I guess, who you... don’t... love, bro!”

And Katsuki feels hope bloom in his chest.

Only to have it crushed with his best friend’s next words.

“But we’re just trying to help you! We don’t want you to feel like you’re moving too fa—“

“Not only did I not ask for any help, but how is any of this helping me?!” Katsuki throws his arms in the air. “I came out to you guys, something we’ve been doing all evening, and you have the audacity to tell me I’m wrong?!”

He’s pacing now.

“Why the hell are you acting like I’m signing a death wish with my identity! You guys are the biggest fucking hypocrites, holy hell.”

Katsuki shakes his head and storms off, unwilling to be in that toxic situation any longer.

The next few days are met with guilt-ridden eyes from his classmates and the cold shoulder from him.

They don’t try to approach him, and for that, Katsuki is grateful, because he doesn’t know what he’d do if the people that rejected who he is tried to act like they did nothing wrong.

Yeah, maybe they weren’t being malicious, maybe it was just ignorance, but Katsuki is by no means obligated to forgive nor teach them. Until they pull their heads out of their asses and realize there’s a plus after LGBTQ for a reason, he’s perfectly fine with the distance.

OKAY SO TWO ENDINGS

1) The class that was there does their research and apologizes and are forgiven and whatnot (happy ending)

2) The class doesn’t do their research and just assumes that Katsuki doesn’t want to have sex or kiss anyone. They apologize, but the relationship is still tense with their ignorant comments and jokes. Katsuki is still hurt, especially when they start dating each other or other students, and he’s left to be the only one that values a strong friendship over romance. He feels left behind. (Angsty ending)

OR WAIT!!! ANOTHER ENDING!!!

3) The class doesn’t apologize or do their research, because they think Katsuki was making a big deal out of nothing. After those few weeks of the silent treatment, they try to approach him and act like everything is great.

Katsuki is angry and hurt, but eventually he finds comfort and very close friendships with Todoroki, Tokoyami, Shinsou, and Shoji. Not all of them are aroace, but they’re on the spectrum for one or both (bittersweet ending)

IM DONE!!! This honestly didn’t go the way I was thinking it would go, but I ain’t upset so it’s all good.

So ofc I projected with the being annoyed when people act like my sexuality isn’t a real thing (which is lots of ppl online and the classmates I told when they asked)

Also, that part about telling people that you’ve never had a crush and being smug when they’re like :0? Yeah, I used to do that until I was 13 when my older sib was like “yeah, you’re aroace” and I was like :0 “i saw that term in one fanfiction years back but i genuinely didn’t think abt it when i looked up to see what ‘ace’ meant but it fits perfectly”

So anyway, my sib also told me that what I was is Agender (which I knew abt but thought “that’s not me,,, right?” wrong) and I realized when they asked me if they could tell their friend my gender identity. I was confused like sure?? and then they said i was agender and their friend asked for my pronouns and i said i didn’t care

like,, i thought i was nb, but i wasn’t sure exactly what “type”(?) idk, but after that, i looked at the definition for agender that i didn’t understand before and was like :0 yep that’s me

ANYWAY YOU PROBABLY DIDNT WANT ALL OF THAT PERSONAL MUMBO JUMBO BUT THIS HC RELATES TO ME A LOT SO

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 💖💗💕💞💝

[morwensteelsheen]

I’m starting grad school this autumn and honestly I’m getting nervous. Like yes I am v excited about the whole prospect overall and I do miss being a student but am intimidated by 3 hr long seminars and thesis writing and massive amounts of reading… everyone keeps saying it’s gonna be very different from undergrad so okay, but how specifically? Is it the large amounts of reading? I already had insane amounts of reading (humanities degree hurrah) especially in my last two years but could you expound on your own experience and how you take notes/read quickly/summarize or just how to deal with first time grad students?

Oh, yeah for sure! A necessary disclaimer here is that I'm at a certain poncy English institution that is noted for being very bad at communicating with its students and very bad at treating its postgrad students like human beings, so a lot of these strategies I've picked up will be overkill for anyone who has the good sense to go somewhere not profoundly evil lol.

So I'll just preface this by saying that I am a very poor student in terms of doing what you're supposed to. I'm very bad at taking notes, I never learned how to do it properly, and I really, really struggle with reading dense literature. That said, I'm probably (hopefully?) going to get through this dumb degree just fine. Also — my programme is a research MPhil, not taught, so it's a teensy bit more airy-fairy in terms of structure. I had two classes in Michaelmas term, both were once a week for two hours each; two in Lent, one was two hours weekly, the other two hours biweekly; and no classes at all in Easter. I also have no exam component, I was/am assessed entirely on three essays (accounting for 30% of my overall mark) and my dissertation (the remaining 70%), which is, I think, a little different to how some other programmes are. I think even some of the other MPhils here are more strenuous than that, like Econ and Soc Hist is like 100% dissertation? Anyways, not super important, but knowing what you're getting marked on is important. I dedicated considerably less time than I did in undergrad to perfecting my coursework essays because they just don't hold as much weight now. The difference between a 68 and a 70 just wasn't worth the fuss for me, which helped keep me sane-ish.

The best advice anyone ever gave me was that, whereas an undergrad degree can kind of take over your life without it becoming a problem, you need to treat grad school like a job. That's not because it's more 'serious' or whatever, but because if you don't set a really strict schedule and keep to it, you'll burn yourself out and generally make your life miserable. Before I went back on my ADD meds at the end of Michaelmas term, I sat myself down at my desk and worked from 11sh to 1800ish every day. Now that I'm medicated, I do like 9:30-10ish to 1800-1900 (except for now that I'm crunching on my diss, where, because of my piss-poor time management skills I'm stuck doing, like, 9:30-22:30-23:00). If you do M-F 9-5, you'll be getting through an enormous amount of work and leaving yourself loads of time to still be a human being on the edges. That'll be the difference between becoming a postgrad zombie and a person who did postgrad. I am a postgrad zombie. You do not want to be like me.

The 'work' element of your days can really vary. It's not like I was actually consistently reading for all that time — my brain would have literally melted right out of my ears — but it was about setting the routine and the expectation of dedicating a certain, consistent and routinized period of time for focusing on the degree work every day. My attention span, even when I'm medicated, is garbage, so I would usually read for two or three hours, then either work on the more practical elements of essay planning, answer emails, or plot out the early stages of my research.

In the first term/semester/whatever, lots of people who are planning on going right into a PhD take the time to set up their applications and proposals. I fully intended on doing a PhD right after the MPhil, but the funding as an international student trying to deal with the pandemic proved super problematic, and I realised that the toll it was taking on my mental health was just so not worth it, so I've chosen to postpone a few years. You'll feel a big ol' amount of pressure to go into a PhD during your first time. Unless you're super committed to doing it, just try and tune it out as much as you can. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking a year (or two, or three, or ten) out, especially given the insane conditions we're all operating under right now.

I'll be honest with you, I was a phenomenally lazy undergrad. It was only by the grace of god and being a hard-headed Marxist that I managed to pull out a first at the eleventh hour. So the difference between UG and PG has been quite stark for me. I've actually had to do the reading this year, not just because they're more specialised and relevant to my research or whatever, but because, unlike in UG, the people in the programme are here because they're genuinely interested (and not because it's an economic necessity) and they don't want to waste their time listening to people who haven't done the reading.

I am also a really bad reader. Maybe it's partially the ADD + dyslexia, but mostly it's because I just haven't practiced it and never put in the requisite effort to learn how to do it properly. My two big pointers here are learning how to skim, and learning how to prioritise your reading.

This OpenU primer on skimming is a bit condescending in its simplicity, but it gets the point across well. You're going to want to skim oh, say, 90% of the reading you're assigned. This is not me encouraging you to be lazy, it's me being honest. Not every word of every published article or book is worth reading. The vast majority of them aren't. That doesn't mean the things that those texts are arguing for aren't worth reading, it just means that every stupid rhetorical flourish included by bored academics hoping for job security and/or funding and/or awards isn't worth your precious and scarce time. Make sure you get the main thrust of each text, make sure you pull out and note down one or two case studies and move right the hell on. There will be some authors whose writing will be excellent, and who you will want to read all of. Everything else gets skimmed.

Prioritisation is the other big thing. You're going to have shitty weeks, you're probably going to have lots of them. First off, you're going to need to forgive yourself for those now — everybody has them, yes, even the people who graduated with distinctions and go on to get lovely £100,000 AHRC scholarships. Acknowledge that there will be horrible weeks, accept it now, and then strategise for how to get ahead of them. My personal strategy is to plan out what I'm trying to get out of each course I take, and then focus only on the readings that relate to that topic.

I took a course in Lent term that dealt with race and empire in Britain between 1607 and 1900; I'm a researcher of the Scottish far left from 1968-present, so the overlap wasn't significant. But I decided from the very first day of the course that I was there to get a better grasp about the racial theories of capitalism and the role of racial othering in Britain's subjugation of Ireland. Those things are helpful to me because white supremacist capitalism comes up hourly in my work on the far left, and because the relationship of the Scottish far left to Ireland is extremely important to its self definition. On weeks when I couldn't handle anything else, I just read the texts related to that. And it was fine, I did fine, I got my stupid 2:1 on the final essay, and I came out of it not too burnt out to work on my dissertation.

Here is where I encourage you to learn from my mistakes: get yourself a decent group of people who you can have in depth conversations about the material with. I was an asshole who decided I didn't need to do that with any posh C*mbr*dge twats, and I have now condemned myself to babbling incomprehensible nonsense at my partner because I don't have anyone on my course to work through my ideas with. These degrees are best experienced when they're experienced socially. In recent years (accelerated by the pandemic, ofc), universities have de-emphasised the social component of postgrad work, largely to do with stupid, long-winded stuff related to postgrad union organising etc. It's a real shame because postgrads end up feeling quite socially isolated, and because they're not having these fun and challenging conversations, their work actually suffers in the long term. This is, and I cannot stress this enough, the biggest departure from undergrad. Even the 'weak links' or whatever judgemental nonsense are there because they want to be. That is going to be your biggest asset. Talk, talk, talk. Listen, listen, listen. Offer to proofread people's papers so you get a sense of how people are thinking about things, what sort of style they're writing in, what sources they're referring to. Be a sponge and a copycat (but don't get done for plagiarism, copy like this.) Also: ask questions that seem dumb. For each of your classes, ask your tutors/lecturers who they think the most important names in their discipline are. It sounds silly, but it's really helpful to know the intellectual landscape you're dealing with, and it means you know whose work you can go running to if you get lost or tangled up during essay or dissertation writing!

You should also be really honest about everything — another piece of advice that I didn't follow and am now suffering for. The people on your courses and in your cohort are there for the same reasons as you, have more or less the same qualifications as you, and are probably going to have a lot of the same questions and insecurities as you. If you hear an unfamiliar term being used in a seminar, just speak up and ask about it, because there're going to be loads of other people wondering too. But you should also cultivate quite a transparent relationship with your supervisor. I was really cagey and guarded with mine because my hella imposter syndrome told me she was gonna throw my ass out of the programme if I admitted to my problems. Turns out no, she wouldn't, and that actually she's been a super good advocate for me. If you feel your motivation slipping or if you feel like you're facing challenges you could do with a little extra support on, go right to your supervisor. Not only is that what they're there to do, they've also done this exact experience before and are going to be way more sympathetic and aware of the realities of it than, say, the uni counselling service or whatever.

Yeah so I gotta circle back to the notes thing... I really do not take notes. It's my worst habit. Here's an example of the notes I took for my most recent meeting with my supervisor (revising a chapter draft).

No sane person would ever look at these and think this is a system worth replicating lol. But the reason they work for me is because I also record (with permission) absolutely everything. My mobile is like 90% audio recordings of meetings and seminars lol. So these notes aren't 'good' notes, but they're effective for recalling major points in the audio recording so I can listen to what was said when I need to.

Sorry none of this is remotely organised because it's like 2330 here and my brain is so soft and mushy. I'm literally just writing things as I remember them.

Right, so: theory is a big thing. Lots of people cheap out on this and it's to their own detriment. You say you're doing humanities, and tbh, most of the theory involved on the humanities side of the bridge is interdisciplinary anyways, so I'm just gonna give you some recommendations. The big thing is to read these things and try to apply them to what you're writing about. This sounds so fucking condescending but getting, like, one or two good theoretical frameworks in your papers will actually put you leaps and bounds beyond the students around you and really improve your research when the time comes. Also: don't read any of these recommendations without first watching, like an intro youtube video or listening to a podcast. The purists will tell you that's the wrong way to do it, but I am a lazy person and lazy people always find the efficient ways to do things, so I will tell the purists to go right to hell.

Check out these impenetrable motherfuckers (just one or two will take your work from great to excellent, so don't feel obliged to dig into them all):

Karl Marx and Fredrich Engels (I'm not just pushing my politics, but also, I totally am) — don't fucking read Capital unless you're committed to it. Oh my god don't put yourself through that unless you really have to. Try, like, the 18th Brumaire of Louis Napoleon for the fun quotes, and Engels on the family.

Frantz Fanon — Wretched of the Earth. Black Skin White Masks also good, slightly more impossible to read

Benedict Anderson — Imagined Communities. It's about nationalism, but you will be surprised at how applicable it is to... so many other topics

Judith Butler — she really sucks to read. I love her. But she sucks to read. If you do manage to read her though, your profs will love you because like 90% of the people who say they've read her are lying

Bourdieu — Distinction is good for a lot of things, but especially for introducing the idea of social and cultural capital. There's basically no humanities sub-discipline that can't run for miles on that alone.

Crenshaw — the genesis of intersectionality. But, like, actually read her, not the ingrates who came after her and defanged intersectionality into, like, rainbow bombs dropped over Gaza.

The other thing is that you should read for fun. My programme director was absolutely insistent that we all continue to read for pleasure while we did this degree, not just because it's good for destressing, but because keeping your cultural horizons open actually makes your writing better and more interesting. I literally read LOTR for the first time in, like February, and the difference in my writing and thinking from before and after is tangible, because not only did it give me something fun to think about when I was getting stressy, but it also opened up lots of fun avenues for thought that weren't there before. I read LOTR and wanted to find out more about English Catholics in WWI, and lo and behold something I read about it totally changed how I did my dissertation work. Or, like, a girl on my course who read the Odyssey over Christmas Break and then started asking loads of questions about the role of narrative creation in the archival material she was using. It was seriously such a good edict from our director.

Also, oh my god, if you do nothing else, please take this bit seriously: forgive yourself for the bad days. The pressure in postgrad is fucking unreal. Nobody, nobody is operating at 100% 100% of the time. If you aim for 60% for 80% of the time and only actually achieve 40% for 60% of the time, you will still be doing really fucking well. Don't beat yourself up unnecessarily. Don't make yourself feel bad because you're not churning out publishable material every single day. Some days you just need to lie on the couch, order takeout, and watch 12 hours of Jeopardy or whatever, and I promise you that that is a good and worthwhile thing to do. You don't learn and grow without rest, so forgive yourself for the moments and days of unplanned rest, and forgive yourself for when you don't score as highly as you want to, and forgive yourself when you say stupid things in class or don't do all of (or any of) the class reading.

Uhhhh I think I'm starting to lose the plot a bit now. Honestly, just ping me whatever questions you have and I'm happy to answer them. There's a chance I'll be slower to respond over the next few days because my dissertation is due in a week (holy fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but I will definitely respond. And honestly, no question is too dumb lol. I wish I'd been able to ask someone about things like what citation management software is best or how to set up a desk for maximum efficiency or whatever, but I was a scaredy-cat about it and didn't. So yeah, ask away and I will totally answer.

[velveetacrackncheese]

Hey, Rad... Alex... Alexlememe? I know that's the name you used to go by and I know you've kinda disconnected yourself from Viv's fanbase after ZP ended, and I remember your memes and such but I kinda just wanted to get your take on the Hazbin drama since you reblogged the headcanon blog's post on the subject. More or less regarding the issue of her being uncharitable to fans and non-fans alike, plus that one callout post on twitter?

So this is weird. I wasn’t expecting to get asks on the subject since like you said, I’ve generally been disconnected from the fanbase aside from the few reblogs here and there retaining to Hazbin and its more recent developments. But yeah I guess I could give my take on this since I mean.. old fans still follow me. Idk why, but they do!So, really. In regards to that callout post (which is now deleted) I really, really don’t care that much. For one thing, Initially I did because I really hated to see someone be slandered so viciously with inaccurate and uncharitable attacks, but I kinda just stopped because even when I linked the addresses from both Viv, and the Ken dude regarding all the drama mentioned, it was either ignored and resulting in me being called a “pedo sympathizer” or “It wasn’t even an apologyyyyy weh” and like, whatever. I stopped giving a shit.

Terms of the traced animation thing... Lol, ok. I mean homages do exist, and her animation thingy was based on a meme so whatevs.

Anyways,I knew from the very start that the whole “tracing” and “stealing designs” stuff was nonsense since there was an entire like, tumblr drama arc on the issue, and albeit Viv’s post is gone, there’s evidence of legal contracts regarding Jiji and that whole nonsense that was years ago. In regards to her drawing pictures of Blaire White and Shoe… Eh. I mean, yeah, fuck em, but she’s made it clear that she doesn’t support those views anymore, and she wasn’t even really aware of the other things they’d done at that point, and I see no real reason not to believe her because what does lying about that gain her? Yeah her comment on the “blackface” thing if you wanna call it that was dumb as shit, but considering 2016 was a rough year for her in terms of trying to find where she fell in the political sphere, I can relate because I was in the same boat. A lot of sjw cringe comps, shaming feminists, and purposely misgendering transpeople… Not a good time for me either! Course I’ve changed. I went from being a reactionary alt-centrist to an anarchist so. Whether that’s an improvement is up to you.

As for the whole pedo/zoo shit, I really don’t see it. I mean like, look, obviously porn art portraying people fucking feral animals is disgusting right. Not saying it isn’t problematic or anything, but to be fair, she did draw this shit like 8 years ago. I’ve seen worse from even more well-established artists and I don’t see people trying to cancel them? Also, the art was suggestive for one thing and not necessarily 100% porn. I mean it’s still creepy and gross, and I’d understand scolding them if they continued to do so but a lot worse, but I haven’t seen anything like that from Viv past those 2 drawings. As for the pedo shit… The relationship between a 17 year old and a 19 year old is… hardly creepy and reminiscent of pedo shit. So yeah no fuck that. Now with the drawing of Mirage and Kestrel and the tag that said something jokingly like “Mirage and her pedo tendencies” or whatever… Yeah idk, I can’t defend that lmfao. Again, Viv said she disapproves of those drawings and doesn’t care to think about them, but that one piece of artwork definitely had some baggage to it that made me feel uncomfortable after reading the tags.Only issue I took in terms of her addressing that, is that she was very adamant about it being an inside joke… Which if that’s true, you must’ve had some fucked up friends like damn.

I would also like to state that cub art is legitimately disgusting and I am of the belief that it can cause harm depending on the context since I assume the consumption of cub art can reinforce the urge for pedophiles to act on their desires instead of finding healthy coping mechanisms for it through therapy. There have been stories from younger users on the internet that older people have tried to groom them and have the notion of pedos preying on them be normalized by sending them art depicting kids in sexual acts with adults. Of course in isolation cub art isn’t as harmful as the actual act of raping a child, and I would argue that people have their priorities kind of messed up since the illustration being acknowledged should be part of combating pedophiles preying on children. However, people, typically twitter wokescolds tend to focus on the art solely and I don’t know why. There’s a lot of MAPS trying to find their way into LGBT spaces and it’s fucking gross.

Now with Hazbin itself… It’s meh. Initially I watched it with rose-tinted glasses and loved it. After watching it for like… the 3rd, 4th, 5th time? It’s alright. I don’t hate it, but it’s far from perfect. Now ofc I know it’s a pilot but a very lengthy pilot I’ll say. My biggest gripe with the pilot is that the editing is really fucking weird. Like the editing where Angel tells Alastor “I can suck yah dick!” and the scene that followed was really off. It seemed like too many cuts were made in that instance and seemed very cluttered. It also feels that way during Charlie singing “Inside Every Demon is a Rainbow” and how many little animated bits were like almost wiped off the screen by how fast it came by, and ntm there was just so much happening all at once on screen as well. I had to pause at points just to process everything that was happening. The palette is also very, very, verrrry red. There’s so much red going on and like… I get it, it’s in hell. But lemme rest my eyes on something else besides red, please. The palette they use needs to be better diversified, and the same goes for the characters too. Every character seems to have red on them. Whenever Baxter shows up later he’s gonna look really out of place. Some of the jokes were ok, and others seemed non-clever. I didn’t think Angel’s joke about sucking Al’s dick was funny. I did like the joke with Pentious and Angel though. “SON??” Some of it could’ve been written better too.

Regarding the drama with the show itself… Personally I don’t get it. Like, I don’t feel as if Angel is homophobic as a character since his queerness isn’t at the face of the jokes he makes? He just happens to be sex worker which… sex workers are fine? Support sex workers y’all, seriously. There’s also nothing intrinsically wrong with being sexually active either? As long as it’s within reason and you’re being trustworthy.The issue lies in the fact that people viewed the things I just mentioned as negative, and associate it with gay people as said negatively portrayed thing to push the sentiment of “Gay man do sex a lot therefore the gays bad” or that sort of thing. Also there’s a bit where it shows there’s more emotional depth to him and I’m hoping they’ll expand on that later. Honestly though, the criticisms in regards to that have been pretty uncharitable. Same with the criticisms for Vaggie. Apparently Vaggie is racist because… she’s loud and angry? Again, this is a case where people assume those traits are negative, and because it’s assumed to be negative, the negatively portrayed thing pushes the sentiment of “Being a loud fiery woman made, and latina women are that, therefore latina women bad” or some shit.  There are stereotypes that are bad no matter what the context is like sambo-esque caricatures of black people. Then there are tropes that are applied to certain demographics that have the capability to be written well into characters without it being offensive or disrespectful. Vaggie is literally angry because she’s protective of her gf. Like. C’mon.

So, I think that settles what I think about that? It honestly seems like superficial shit to me tbh, and I’m saying this as an sjw-y beta cuck anarchist.

The only REAL gripe I have, is with what the mod from @zpheadcanons posted. Because I know this is probably true as much as it hurts me to say it. Faust def has a history of being pretty petty and bully-like to people she deems undesirable, and Viv harbors it by not criticizing it, and if anyone else within their friend group does it then you’re scolded vehemently and treated like garbage. Her attitude also stretches to harboring an audience full of white knights that I personally don’t approve of.

There’s also this

Faust has hurt distant people I personally know and… yeah. Maybe I’m biased but I can’t vibe with that. Sorry. If you don’t make an effort to criticize abusive behavior within your own friend circles then that makes you just as bad, because then you’re just a bystander to things you could have prevented.

This isn’t to say Viv herself hasn’t dealt with bad faith actors, or people who had the intention to hurt her, or very uncharitable criticism. Particularly from the badwebcomics forums which is honestly 4chan like in how they operate. It’s vicious as hell, and a lot of their criticisms boil down to insults and personal attacks, which serve to be nonconstructive. That’s not to say Viv has been kind to even the more charitable criticism though. I know because when I happened to send an ask to the zoophobia criticism blog (where did it go???) regarding something relatively minor and superficial, she blocked me from her blog. I’m still blocked lmfao. I’m not blocked on twitter though! (not yet anyways). Faust has me blocked there though, and I have no idea why. She’s had me blocked for years even though I haven’t spoken out against her till recently. So, there’s that.

As for her apology itself, I feel like it was fine. I think it could’ve been worded better? The take I disagree with in terms of that is like… If I made a mistake in the past, and I make it clear that I don’t care for what I did, I don’t feel as if me explaining why I felt compelled to do certain things negate me from still not caring for my past actions? That’s just me providing context. That’s a really weird take, but I guess that could be viewed as an excuse idk. Personally I think people are holding the bar super high to a state of irrationality.

*sigh* So yeah there’s that. I miss the old days where honestly I could be ignorant about this, but at the same time I look at my old obsessive posts and I kinda just… cringe. I was such an irrational stan I almost hate myself for it. Fuck XD

Edit: I’d also like to point out that I’m not saying Viv or Faust are totally awful or totally good people, and I know they’re capable of being better. It’s a matter of whether or not they wanna be better.

[zenosanalytic]

HSE 4/20/19 6

Alright; had a busy day yesterday but I’m back at it for a bit, at least:

MEAT 11

I wonder if John having trouble yelling in this place means it’s separated him from “Breath” in some way. I don’t think it does since there’s obvsl light and space in this location, but neither Rose nor Jade seem to be able to use their abilities, either(and, ofc, no one is suffocating). It could be that being “inside”(?) the JuJu suppresses abilities(since John COULD use his from the White Space, so this space has different properties). Within it they’re outside of canon, but their powers work just fine on EarthC, so that can’t be it. Myb it separates them from the metaphysical(which would be why no time exists there since it’s by nature a metaphysical abstraction or derivative), while still possessing physical qualities(like atmosphere, space, form, light, etc). Or it could just be power-suppression.

Also: we’re all in agreement they’re arranged in the four sections of the logo, like oh so many fanarts of the past, right?

Did John really hang around with Terezi enough to feel this deeply about her, or have such a well-formed opinion? I suppose how one feels about another isn’t so much a question of time as impact though. she DID

Badgerflirt him to death in another timeline

lead him partway through an Epic Quest which gave him a Cool Rocketpack in his personal timeline

give him an Epic Quest to Hateflirt with her throughout her life, then die dramatically before him, all as part of a plan to get him to save his and her shared friend’s life by punching her in her stupid face.

and John is 1)pretty perceptive and 2)prone to strong immediate judgements, so I suppose it fits.

Also This:

is just a Gr8 description of Terezi and I Love It uwu

Though at the same time: imagining that some friend is totally awesome and lacking in flaws and difficulties of their own, which would allow them to fix YOUR problems easily if they’d been around, is not terribly healthy, and also a subtle way to beat yourself up (:( (:(

MEAT 12

Ok, so this is the infamous Jade Quote section.

I actually don’t mind it. In context, I think it’s fine and totally works; yes, it’s way too forward and groanworthy, but it’s meant to be as the whole purpose/arc of this section is Jade trying to goad Dave and Karkat into facing emotions&desires which they’re repressing&avoiding for reasons of anxiety&(understandable)fears of vulnerability/loss/hurt. And also Jade’s generally been pretty straight-forward and blunt(while still repressing and hiding alot herself) since her dreamself’s death(which is it’s own thing. Like: Yes, I do think this section is also meant to show some of Jade’s issues, even if it’s presenting Jade as being more aware, active, and dynamic than Dave and Karkat here).

Like: Dave and Karkat are deeply important to one another, they bring a lot of happiness into each others lives, and they also carry around alot of trauma specifically related to intimacy and cohabitation and emotional honesty which obvsl causes them lots of anxiety and makes opening up to other people, ESPECIALLY physically, really fucking scary. And, both of them being super-avoidant and prone to passive support in certain respects(by which I mean: they avoid talking about uncomfortable stuff, and support others by trying to be available and distracting rather than facing the problem, then brushing off their support as “the natural thing” or actually not support), means that, absent outside meddling, they’ll both basically just swirl around each other comfortably flirting forever, never taking a chance on pursuing anything more they might want. Which isn’t to say nonsexual relationships are bad or anything, they’re not, and neither is it “bad” that they’ve kept their rom til now nonsexual, or even, necessarily, that they’ve allowed it to exist without labeling it “love” or “romance”; those choices are the choices that were comfortable and safe and non-stressful for them, they had every right to make them, and that they live together without stress or conflict is proof that they were “good” ones. But at the same time: there’s a big distance between a healthy, long term, asexual relationship, and one where the participants desire one another, but their anxieties and hangups prevent sexual exploration, let alone (and more importantly)deeper emotional honesty and intimacy. Particularly when that goes to the point of actively excluding one member because of their unwillingness to pretend those, difficult to face and process, feelings aren’t there.

And yes, Jade’s def going about this a bit too head-on and too bluntly, this really is a subject that ought to be worked through sensitively and slowly, but

I sense from the writing that this is meant to be taken as just the lastest(and perhaps exasperated?) step in a long, long process of her trying to engage them on how she feels for them and how she (correctly, I think)thinks they feel for her

Jade’s own issues predispose her towards such approaches

Jade doesn’t like dealing honestly with introspection and the more “down” emotions any more than John does, but the way she handles them is not through denial and feigned ignorance, but rather Suppression and trying to bury them with Happiness and Enthusiasm. This is part of why Jade, despite her intelligence and power, usually tries to solve problems by barrelling through them, getting between them, or overpowering them(much like she tries to Math and Logic her way through this particular conversation; steamrolling Dave with her Rightness and Verve rather than the sort of [painful and exhausting]genuine emotional engagement that could actually generate a constructive response[see: his talk with Dirk in the Endgame]), rather than working/thinking around/through them. She’s not the type to walk a maze; she’s the type to smash it’s walls down. And that’s what she’s trying to do here. She’s tried, for a decade, to talk through these issues with them, or perhaps instigate an Encounter(though she’s always been a bit messy, so I dont read her bras being all over the couch as being attempted seduction as Dave does here[if I’m reading the narration right]. Possibly territory marking, though, which could be described as adjacent?).

HAVING SAID ALL THAT:

I totally get the frustration and anger at the first we see of Jade being about sex, romance, and other people. Jade’s been given a super raw deal by HS canon; her WHOLE STORYLINE since Cascade has been entirely about other people, and specifically her responding to/dealing with/interpreting for other people re: her romantic relationships&feelings; and to see her agency, yet again, getting expressed entirely through romance, to see her again for the first time in a context that presents her as exclusively or primarily concerned with relationships and sex, is pretty galling. One could certainly offer psychological explanations rooted in isolation for all this but the fact was This Was a Narrative Choice. It was a narrative choice to leave her in canon at a unsolicited kiss, and a narrative choice to reintroduce her in the Epilogues through an attempt to talk Dave and Karkat into dating her; literally presenting her sexuality as preeminent within her characterization in the work. There’s a hell of a lot more to her than that; she was never really presented as especially interested in physical intimacy in canon despite the prominence relationship and attraction was given in her arc; and I can totally understand ppl reading it as yet another example of Jade’s story being about dudes rather than her.

ok, think I’m going to stop there today.

[icharchivist]

can you talk about your opinion on Wisely ? I kinda have no opinion of him aside from "weird psychic noah who's in the secret with Road, also a slob at using his powers"; so I'd like to be enlightened about him in general/if there's subtle characterization on him or anything

oooh boy that’s gonna be hard. I can pull on essays when I have a starting point on what to say, kinda? but from scratch it’s... complicated. 

Especially since Wisely is kinda recent. I mean I lived his introduction in the manga. And by virtue of being “All Knowing” he has to remain mysterious or else he would ruin the fun, so...

this is kinda the problem with Wisely, we know he knows much, much more than anything we can imagine. So he seems too tied to the lore of the story rather than his own person, so it’s harder to pinpoint stuff about his development the way we can with any of the characters. Even the Bookmen who are linked to the lore aren’t... Living embodiment of that lore and memory like Wisely is.

That said, I kinda love him? 

We have so few scenes with him but what we can gather is that yes he’s all knowing, that he’s a dork, he’s as sadistic as his family, that he LOVES his family, especially the Earl and Road 

Which kinda makes sense? they’re the two that “hadn’t changed” since his days. Even if he knows the others’s “memories” (both litteraly and their noah memory) he’s new and barely know them. Hell if Tyki is anything to go by, Tyki finds him creepy because he creeps into his mind. Wisely can know eVERYTHING about Tyki but Tyki doesn’t know jackshit about Wisely. and that’s the case for everyone else.

Besides, he’s arriving right at the moment everyone has questions about the 14th and the only one who have answers are Road and Wisely. The thing is: Road is surprisingly the “Eldest Sister” of the gang: Since she survived the massacre, she saw the awakening of all the others Noah, and we can see she, for exemple, helped Skinn toward his, making it likely she did the same with the others. So I can see everyone accept Road knowing more than most, they’ve been used to that all along.

But Wisely is the new guy. He’s the last one to come back to life. Everyone should be his “senpai” by “birthstatue” but that punk just came and declared he knew better than everyone else and immediatly started to hit off with Road and the Earl.

Hell, especially for the likes of Sheryl I wonder how much kinship between Road and Wisely might sting. They all would believe they know Road well and all, that she was their eldest figure, that she joked off with them and loved them, and suddenly that new guy arrives and they start to keep secrets together and obviously have a bound that trancended Wisely’s death.

Tbh it’s probably why the guidebook mentioned that Wisely since then made himself join the Kamelot family. He can therefore remain close to Road WHILE pissing Sheryl off. If that’s not a Goal.

If anything though the fact Wisely can only create weird relationship is something that kinda puts his relationships into perspective? He seems like a nice, outgoing guy. He knows what goes on in anyone’s mind. Hell, in the manga’s bonus you even see him kinda like the exorcists. Having no boundaries to explore someone’s mind makes that Wisely can easily pinpoint them out, but yet he doesn’t seem to change his attitude a lot. I imagine he can take a glance at someone’s brain and wonder whenever or not it would be fun to hang around with them or to make their lives hell. It’s kinda fun that he’s not trying to adjust to anyone, he looks for his own fun.

What I loved with the Grey Log was how much apparently, Wisely and Tyki are enjoying “acting like hobos” in front of Fancy Sheryl. (from refusing to take bath to eating fishes out of pounds)  Tyki used to be alone in this disaster but now Wisely 100% supports him. And even more than him just finding out what’s the most fun, this is probably the closest thing we’ll ever get to Wisely connecting to his human life. And the fact he’s still carrying it on with pride is kinda amazing to me? Apparently the Jasdebi twins also love to play dress up with him? which is hilarious? (there’s also a bonus of them bullying Wisely by pulling his bandana if i remember). And he has a pet toad that apparently comes from when he became a Noah. I have no idea what to make of that aside that it is very cute.

So... trying not to look at the guidebook... wisely is so new we barely have enough info on him. And he’s too surrounded by mystery.

I think it’s undeniable that he cares for his family and that he is himself a rather playful person. He knows too much and we don’t know enough so we can’t relate.

Okay so one thing i think about, aside from the fact he kept contact with Road (which is WILD because Sheryl got very angry at the Bookmen and started to go further in his tortures when Road disappeared but somehow wisely could just have cleared it up?? But then I doubt Wisely cares much for whatever the hell they’re doing, and whatever Road is doing must remain a secret even from their family), and that he seems to be very adamant to protect the Earl:

When the Earl has his massive breakdown crying about how he is not Mana, Wisely hugs him tight and tries to calm him down right? Wisely obviously knows something, and it’s even to wonder if he could dig deeper about Mana Walker (even if we KNOW he knew Mana D Campbell). But he remained... so soft. So careful. He saw the Earl’s meltdown and was only preoccuped with making it easier for the Earl. It’s rather sweet and it shows that he has a very concerned side to him.

I think all i can say about Wisely is how... easily he could have been someone else? He could so easily have stayed distant in his own self-important mind. He could so easily be dropping every information he has on people. He could so easily just not care about making connections with people he can read like open books. He could so easily just know what someone would expect and act like it to controle them. But.... all of that isn’t in Wisely. For a All Knowing Character, he’s surprisingly gentle, he’s surprisingly outgoing, fun, trying to make connections. He tries to bound with people on his own terms, with his own preferences.

So i think that’s what I find interesting with Wisely? His archetype could have been anything, hell, it could have been a parallelism to the Bookmen’s lack of emotion (and perhaps the fact he so much as LOVE his peple serves as one, that he doesn’t hold back from having feelings despite his knowledge, that could work as a foil) but mostly the idea we can get of him he’s that he’s sweet and funny and teasing. 

And it was a nice addition to the Noah cast. I mean that we know well, we had the Earl (duh) who’s very sweet and caring, Road who is more playfully teasing and also caring, looking over how everyone deals with their internal issues, overprotective ect... We have Tyki that is extremely bound to his own humanity and therefore has the dilema of being the one who awoke his Noah so much he cant get back ot his human life. We had Skinn who was full of anger and frustration. Then we had The Twins, who represent a cruel childishness, who are always defying their family’s being (while loyal to the cause, they’re just brats). We had Lullubel, more stoic, more duty focused. Then we had Sheryl, the sadistic manipulator, sweet talker who prepares political horrors with a sweet work of tongue. And Nea... who’s Nea. (i’m not really counting the others ones since they’re not that developped. Fiidora perhaps deserves a mention under “sadistically childishly horrifying”)

Wisely works a bit how caring the Earl can be. And the fact he bounded more easily with Road and Tyki is also something to take into account. He’s the knowledge, he’s a manipulator on the feelings he can gather yes, but we also see him as more gentle, more playful, not in the amounts of cruauty we saw the youngest of the cast (.. which just reminded me the twins are actually 18 while Wisely is 17. Not that it matters when Wisely remembers all his past lives but.. still.). 

Ofc while all of them remains a certain amount of sadistic ofc.

Idk i guess it’s.. a question of what he could have been and what he adds to the cast that kinda gets my attention? and there’s mostly a lot to picture in his dynamic with his family and perhaps the Exorcists if we take the Komui Corner for granted.

THIS IS ALL OVER THE PLACE but unless i have an idea where i’m supposed to go i end up.... all over the place.

Idk i like him fine. Not a fav by all account bc i still wait to see how he might develop (if a character like him can develop) but.... we’ll see.

Take care!

[penitentprodigy]

OOC QUESTIONS ;

RULES: Answer the questions you’ve been given, then write your own and tag 11 people.

1. what is your favorite thing to write when it comes to rping?

i’d say it’s definitely fluff omg i feel like i write that most and it always makes me feel good. in the same vein i like writing silly stuff too! most of the time fluff and silliness go hand in hand in my responses. i’ve found i’ve been doing silly stuff a lot recently and i’m not sure if it’s just bc i don’t have much inspiration for longer responses so i default to short lighthearted stuff?? lmao that’s probably part of it but i also do really enjoy writing fun lighthearted scenarios.

2. what do you struggle with the most when it comes to rping?

ACTION i feel like i’m so terrible at writing action. which sucks bc i’m always wanting to write scary dangerous scenarios but i don’t think i do a good job at describing them. i do try to keep in mind though that it’s so easy to be hyper-critical of your own writing so what i think is poorly written might not come across that way to others.

3. do you remember the first character you ever rped ? if so, who were they?

haruka was my first muse so it’s him! but i guess if you want to be really technical then it was hisoka kurosaki. i “role played” him on gaia for a brief time and i’m using quotations bc i’m so sure he was the most ooc portrayal ever lfhgisj i was really only rping him for fun with my friend and it was solely for the sake of us wanting to indulge in some tsuzuki/hisoka nonsense.

but hey what came out of it was tsuzuki banging hisoka against a kitchen counter so that was fun.

4. if there was one thing you could change about your writing, what would it be and why?

i definitely wish i could be better at describing settings. i just really wish i could create the perfect setting/atmosphere that i envision in my head. but every time i try to do that i feel like i write way too much about the setting that it just doesn’t work well. it either comes across as too “wordy” or it doesn’t make much sense and i feel like i need to focus more on the dialogue instead.

i think in general i want to be able to have a clever, impactful way with words. i want to be able to use phrasing and dialogue that creates a feeling when you read it if that makes sense? i’ve seen some people who write such amazing one-liners that punch you in the face like “WOAH” and i wish i could do that lol

5. what personality type do you favor the most when it comes to characters you rp?

i’m such a sucker for tall rowdy tough girls who steal other girls’ hearts and soft gentle boys who are clumsy ass fools 👀👌 i think i just really love characters who defy gender norms? like i love lady characters who are more masculine and loud and outspoken. i love ladies who don’t take any shit and they aren’t “delicate fragile creatures” and they’re ready to fight everyone lmao i really love a lot of different personality types but in general i’ll either go for the “rough tough character who’s kind of an asshole but also lovable and loyal” or the “sweet kind character who wants to help everyone way too much and is the backbone of the group that keeps everyone else going”

6. what do you do to help yourself get over writers block?

generally listening to music seems to be a good way to get my inspiration back. i sort of just need to turn up the volume and really focus and get back into the mood of writing for a character. i also find that it helps to listen to music while i’m doing other things and play out a scenario in my head to “prepare” for a response. if i’m totally stuck on how to answer an ask then i’ll daydream and imagine a scene playing out in my head and maybe i’ll be like “oh that might be a good line to use!” or “i like that part i’ll write that down on the ask so i can incorporate it as i add the other details leading up to it”

7. who is an author you look up to the most and who inspires you when it comes to your writing? if you do not have a favorite author, is there another roleplayer who inspires you?

i’ve read like a total of 6 books in my lifetime but i feel obligated to say that n.eil g.aiman is my favorite author bc i absolutely love c.oraline and i started reading a bit of his book t.rigger w.arning and i barely got into it but i already fell in love. i don’t know if he’s really “inspiration” for me but i do admire the way he writes and how he’s able to paint such a clear picture of a scene which is exactly what i aspire to do.

honestly both @sorrowscars and @daturida inspire me and i’m so in love with their writing. they don’t use overly flowery language that’s almost impossible to understand and they don’t really focus on “romanticizing” their character themselves so much as focusing more on their character’s feelings which i find all the more impactful. also i just admire the hell out of how they keep their writing styles fairly simple and completely understandable but still so beautiful?? they write so incredibly without needing to use purple prose or any of that nonsense and i’m always blown away by their writing and just!!! maddie and equinox are huge writing inspiration for me and it’s such a joy to read their stuff ;u;

8. do you rp characters who are similar to you in personality or complete opposites?

this is a good question bc i feel like i relate to haruka in a lot of ways but also not at all. i relate to him in the sense of being distant and quiet and pretty detached emotionally. but i don’t relate to him at all in terms of intelligence and thoughts. on my multi-muse @wovencircle i’ve put some of my own personal traits in each of my ocs. sakuya is sort of the confident person i wish i could be, chiaki is the shy person i am, hiroto is the gentle person who wants to make everyone feel included, etc. overall i’d say i’m probably drawn to characters who are opposite to me in personality but they have personalities that i wish i had.

9. what is your biggest pet peeve rp-wise?

i guess the lack of lesbian muses?? i don’t even know if that counts as a pet peeve lmao but i’m always really disheartened by how lesbian muses almost seem non-existent. ofc it makes me so happy that there’s wlw muses in general but there really is a lack of lesbian muses. just muses who love women and only women. as a lesbian it’s always so difficult to find lesbian material esp since tumblr absolutely hates lesbians. don’t get me started on how they treat masculine/butch lesbians in particular like HOOO BOY

i don’t know i’m sure i’m being selfish and whiny but i would just truly, truly love to see more lesbian muses who are only attracted to women and being domestic with women and all that sappy stuff. i guess esp since 90% of the time when i find wlw muses they’re already in a relationship with a male muse or all their ships are only with male muses. i totally get that part of that is likely bc there’s just more male muses that exist in general in the rpc so it’s much easier to ship with them. but still i’m a whiner and i’m always hoping for the day when more lesbian muses suddenly sprout up out of nowhere like daisies in all their gay glory sifhgks

10. what is one of the best experiences you’ve had in the rpc?

my best experiences have always been with my love my light @kessaichi and one of them by far was souta and haruka confessing that they believe they’re soulmates. it wasn’t even in a huge emotional thread or anything and it only happened in an ask but it was still one of the happiest moments for me bc seeing them openly admit that they think they’re soulmates and getting so so happy was just the most heartwarming thing omfg /w\ honestly everything souta and haruka do is one of my best experiences lol but them just loving each other more than anything in the world is always beyond incredible and i love them so much.

11. what advice would you give to mutuals who are afraid or too shy to reach out to you?

please never aver be afraid to reach out!! i completely understand feeling way too shy and nervous to talk to someone since i used to feel that way all the time (sometimes i still get it a little) but you have to remember that no matter how popular someone might seem or how intimidated you might feel, they’re simply another person. they’re just like you and frankly more often than not, they’ll be more than happy to talk with you. we’re all a bunch of losers writing fictional characters online okay we’re just here to have a good time <3

tagged by: @porcelainghosts (HUGS YOU!!! thank you so much ghostie!!)

tagging: @kessaichi | @cutiepire | @sorrowscars | @cursemarked | @ardenssolis | @necrophagic aaaand i think most people have been tagged so if you already were or you don’t want to do this that’s perfectly fine!! and if anybody wants to fill this out go ahead and say i tagged you!

my questions:

1. do you have a preference when it comes to threads? short, long, etc.?

2. do you like using icons? do you find that they help your writing? do you find them unnecessary?

3. is there a certain trait that you would want to take away from your muse(s)? either for the better or the worse?

4. what genre do you enjoy writing the most? what do you enjoy writing the least?

5. are there any plots/scenarios that you’re absolutely dying to write?

6. do you listen to music as inspiration for your muse(s)? any songs in particular?

7. do you like reblogging aesthetic posts/pictures for your muse(s)? do you prefer quotes/poems instead?

8. do you and your muse(s) have any shared interests? likes/dislikes?

9. what is your muse(s) biggest flaw? are they aware of it? do they choose to ignore it?

10. does your muse(s) have a trait that you wish you had? or one that you’re glad you don’t have?

11. positivity time! what is one thing (or multiple!) that you can say you’re proud of about your writing?

[goodgodno]

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it? - not telling, and no 2. are you artistic? -i guess 3. Have you had your first kiss? -Ofc not im aidan fucking casey (anyone hmu im lonely) 4. What is your life goal? -to influence people 5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person? -i once tweeted at casey neistat and he didnt respond 6. Do you play any sports? -not any more 7. What’s your worst fear? -failure 8. Who’s your biggest inspiration? -probably casey neistat 9. Do you have any cool talents? -i can freak people out by looking at them 10. are you a morning person? -yeah if im not woken up early 11. How do you feel about pet names? -the closest i get to that is calling someone B 12. Do you like to read? -yeah but i dont read as much as id like to 13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.- does casey neistats vlog count? (Ill shut up with the casey neistat) 14. Do you care about your follower count?- i do on my rinsta, but it bothers me that people feel validated based off of numbers like that (likes etc) 15. What’s the best dream you’ve had? -i dont remember my dreams- the weirdest dream i had was that everyone i knew was trans 16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? -by accident once (does that count?) 17. Do you have any pets?- I have a kitten named Rocket and a full grown cat named Oreo (who is dying of multiple cases of cancer) 18. Are you religious? - Im pretty agnostic, and the catholic church disgusts me 19. Are you a people person?- definitely 20. Are you considered popular?- i try not to think in terms like that, but i guess i have a lot of friends? 21. What is one of your bad habits?- procrastination 22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable?- depression 23. What would you name your children? - ill name one of em’ Casey to fuck with them 24. Who’s your celebrity crush? - Emma Watson? 25. What’s your best subject?- Best- French, Favorite- Art 26. Dogs or cats? Doggos 27. most used social media besides tumblr?- Snapchat/INstagram 28. best friends name? I dont categorize people as best friends, but matt and sara are my oldest friends 29. who does your main family consist of? mostly my grandmother and grandfather tbh 30. Chocolate or sugar? SUGAR 31. have you ever been on a date? no 32. Do you like roller coasters? n0 33. Can you swim? n.O 34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse? hide in a school with a weapon 35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder? self-diagnosed depression? (dont worry i too am rolling my eyes) 36. Are your parents together? barely 37. What’s your favorite color? anything 38. What country are you from/do you live in? ‘MURCA (fuck yeah) 39. Favorite singer? whatever’s on 40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? i wish 41. Do you like dresses? no 42. Favorite song right now? All Night- Parov Stelar 43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? im fine with it ironically, or as a joke, but if people are talking about it literallt shit gets weird 44. How old were you when you first got your period? did you just assume my gender? 45. Have you ever shot a gun? yep 46. Have you ever done yoga? nope 47. Are you a horror girl? did you just assume my gender? 48. Are you good at giving advice? i like to think that I am, but like i dont take my own advice 49. Tell us a story about your childhood. no fuck off 50. How are you doing today? meh 51. Were you a cute kid? i was thicc af 52. Can you dance? when nobody is looking im good 53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing? twirling pens 54. Have you ever dyed your hair? yea and im still recoiling from all of the people that called me a fag 55. What color are your eyes? BLUE 56. What’s your favorite animal? squirrels? 57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? hell yeah man i do it like 3x a day 58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? not really 59. Do you have good friends? most of them are 8/8 m8 60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? sure 61. What’s your favorite class? Studio Art? I put the most effort into it, and its where i get my lowest grades 62. List all the tv shows you are watching. not watching any atm 63. Are you organized? I try to be but i evenually get lazy and shit collapses 64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? Inside Out- I’m still super sh00k 65. Which tv character do you relate to most?- bob ross i guess i dont watch that much tv 68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?- reality 69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?- I’d like to think I’d do something super cool and revolutionary but to be real id probably buy a lot of expensive shit and never do anything 70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? I’d be a little less afraid of failure, because I’d have more chances 71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? I’d dye my hair and shit 72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?- a lot of shit that I wont write here 73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?- depends on the law/ who 74. When was the last time you traveled somewhere new?- I went to The Grand Canyon last summer 75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?- I think of my grandmother’s house 76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?- I’m stuck in thsi existential gridlock where i know what i want to be but i dont know what to do next 77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?- happy 78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?- most of the safety and stability of everything around me 79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?- no idea; i push that shit out of my head 80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence.- highschool, then college. 81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?- I wouldnt sleep, and that would be pretty shit 82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?- trying to kill myself (I dont want to live forever) 83. How would you spend a billion dollars? on myself 84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? past, but id want to go back 85. What motivates you to succeed?- nothing, and thats my problem 86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? idk yet 87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? City- i need to be around lots of people 88. Do you believe in life after death? No 89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? So far, i guess Andrea Lee 90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? Gramma R’s house 91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? My grampa dave, he seemed like a cool guy 92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? Idk 93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? Idk 94. What do you think happens after we die? We get buried/cremated 95. What would you do if you would be invisible? Walk around naked 96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try? Avoid awkwardness 97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? Yeah i guess 98. How did your first crush develop? We were friends for a while and i guess it just evolved from there 99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? Idk man 100. Do you live or do you just exist? You live