#of my system
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was meant to start the birthday art yesterday but was overcome with thoughts of rusong instead oops but also ive had persistent visions of jgy reading jrs bedtime stories and sitting with him until he falls asleep and its been fucking me uppppp
#this is gonna have to stay a wip for a long time cuz of the bday art and the animatic so i am posting this like this to get it out#of my system#anyway its crying over a-song hours again#jin rusong#<- dont wanna clog the main tags with my sketches but theres so little rusong content :')#despite his complicated feelings jgy wouldve still loved his son and been a doting father and i will die on that hill#also he understands more than anyone else what its like to e hated and discriminated against because of the circumstances of your birth so#he wouldnt let jrs' parentage hold jrs back from being loved and having a bright future fight me#honestly thats like on of my biggest defenses for why i dont believe jgy wouldve intentioanlly caused rusongs death. it wouldnt allign with#his world view#despite how people have thought jgy deserved to die for his parentage he has always wanted to live more than anyhting and knows he deserves#to live so no matter what i can not imagine jgy not extending that to thinking jrs deserves just as much opportunity for life as any other#<-this is all badly worded i am just rambling but jgy loved his son fight me
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Pros of re-reading your own fic
a good time;
Has exactly the tropes you like and the characterization you want to read;
Gratification: yes you did finish a thing and yes you did do good;
just a very fun time all around.
Cons of re-reading your own fic:
Is that another TYpO
#writing#today’s post is sponsored by Trisolar System#where on the very last line I discovered I wrote peace instead of piece#When I tell you I re-read that thing maybe 100 times before posting I am not exaggerating#My fics
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MAKE ME THE [happiest man in the world!] AND [Die]
#spamtenna#doodles#fanart#i feel like i should. tag this. ITS NOT MEANT TO BE ANYTHING MORE I SWEAR but also. idk man#tenna#spamton#spamton neo#mr ant tenna#quick doodle. ignore how wonky it is idccc i just had to get it out if my system. teehee <3#also everyone saying theyre ♠️ So Fucking True Actually#deltarune
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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Because it is the anniversary of his death, I wanted to share a small story about my grandfather.
Before I knew that I was intersex, I identified as a trans man. And I went the way any trans man has to go if he wants to transition in my country. My parents thankfully were supportive but I was afraid to tell my grandparents. My grandparents were German and lived/were raised during the third reich. While both of them never said or acted in a way that suggested that they had fascist views (my grandfather was until he died part of a leftwing political party), but there still was this fear in me. "They are old, they grew up surrounded by abhorrent beliefs...". And then there was my aunt. Who would constantly claim that my grandfather was homophobic.
The problem was, back then, there were no openly out gay people in our area, so I never got the chance to see my grandfather interact with someone who was queer. So I just believed her. Because she was so insistent on it. And because it confirmed my fears and my brain loves to be constantly afraid.
But I knew I wanted to come out. I had to, eventually, because I had stopped my estrogen treatment (back then, I did not know that I got that because I was intersex) and went on testosterone instead and first physical changes began to show. We all lived in one big house, so my grandparents would eventually notice.
I was so afraid that my father at some point offered to talk to his parents. I waited outside in the hallway that led to their kitchen and listened.
My father explained, easy to understand, that I was going to transition from female to male because I felt terrible in my body. My grandfather asked, "Is that why the child* is so depressed all this time?" I had been in and out of multiple clinics for manic depression at that point. My father gave a yes. And my grandmother made the incredibly selfish comment, "Can't that wait until I am dead?"
Before I even got time to be upset, my grandfather slammed his fist down on the table. I had never seen or heard him do anything like that before. He was a very calm and collected man who preferred to leave the room before he got too angry. "No, it can't wait. The child gets to get well now. And if that is what is going to help, then it needs to be done."
From that day on, he never used my deadname again or used the wrong pronouns for me. Sometimes, he would stop in a sentence to think and remind himself, but he did always address me correctly.
He celebrated with me when my name was legally changed. He built the bed frame for me and my boyfriend's bed when we moved in together, just like he had built the first adult sized bedframe for me when I outgrew my small bed. He drove my boyfriend to his chemo sessions because my grandfather also had cancer and knew how terrifying it was to go alone.
Did he fully understand what it means to be intersex? To transition? No. But he understood that one of his loved ones was suffering and that he could help to alleviate that pain. And so he did.
He taught me calligraphy. He taught me how to sew. He taught me bookbinding. He gave me many gifts.
But the biggest gift he gave me was, that when someone hated me for what I am, I could stomach it. Because this man was willing to unlearn the bigotry he had been taught for decades so he could love me for who I am.
*in my grandpa's dialect it was normal to refer to children as just 'the child' (genderless)
EDIT
I was blown away by how many people have reblogged this post. I believe my grandfather would be very happy to see that he can give some hope and love to others even now.
I do not want him to stay faceless; so here is a piece of art I made for his obituary, with a slightly altered quote added now.
Dahlias were his favorite flowers. Orange ones especially. They reminded him of the home he had to flee from as a child.
EDIT 28/03/25
Happy birthday.

#giwa:others#giwa:queer#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt ally#actually intersex#i dont know what to tag this#this just needed to be out of my system
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theyre fighting a god in the morning
#calling op out ooc theres no way theyd be dancing lbfr#soc art#animation#critical role#vox machina#percy de rolo#vexahlia#percahlia#they might be the m/f ship of all time for me idk#think ive got this out my system anyway moving on#the legend of vox machina#tlovm#artists on tumblr#animated illustration
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Kpop Demon Hunters post credit scene
#kpop demon hunters#kpdh#rumi kpdh#mira kpdh#zoey kpdh#derpy kpdh#sussie kpdh#idk how to draw#needed to get something out of my systems#have seen this movie twice so far and no that i heard what jinu sounds like in korean i guess i need to see it a third time#20250624#your idol is burned into my brain
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can't wait to see who epic wins the Berdly's affection at the festival
#og post#my art#deltarune#deltarune spoilers#utdr#dr#susie deltarune#noelle holiday#berdly deltarune#kris dreemurr#susie#berdly#suselle#krerdly#kerdly#<- i don't know what happened i never thought about them before and then right before ch3+4 dropped i saw content of them#and was like yeah i'll adopt that into my belief system /joke#but i think its moving out of joke territory#ironic krerdly shipping to genuine krerdly shipping any%#1k#5k#10k#shipping#yuri
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Okay guys
INPRNT!!
#i don't wanna work a minute longer on this one i honestly started to hate it so im getting it out of my system as soon as possible#i have other Bilbo Baggins fanarts planned;)#also i dont care what anyone says Bilbo likes kids#hes a story teller he wrote the book for Frodo#maybe he got the idea from the young hobbits who have been a constant pesterers of his life asking him to tell stories about his adventure#i dont know i have a lot of thoughts on this but i cant write it down#not the best with words i am (as you can see from the dialogue lol)#anywaaaayss eat up Bilbo enjoyers#the hobbit#hobbit#bilbo baggins#tolkien#bilbo my beloved
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I have now read All Systems Red from The Murderbot Diaries, and I think the main charm of it is I went in fully expecting a "Humans treat robots like appliances then some of them slowly learn not to because of This One Special Example" but instead the crew immediately goes "No, Murderbot is a person. Look at it, it's got anxiety."
Meanwhile, Murderbot itself is like "Why was I cursed with a face. Please treat me like an appliance so I don't have to make eye contact with any of you. I've got anxiety."
#the murderbot diaries#all systems red#thank you to the mutuals for putting murderbot on my dash and to fate apparently for randomly pushing it into my path#I'll be reading the second book as soon as it's ready at the library#I think the show coming out soon has backlogged all my library's copies for the whole series#to boldly queue
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gotham rainy nights*
i still am a believer of duke doing silly things with his superpower
patch note: i got another believer and im honored
hiding under your dad's cape when it's pouring outside can be something very special + many years later, a smug dude with his bat-rain-poncho invention
#*if you have a sense of dejavu then yes its because the ol jello bowl had been eaten by the system#dc#dc fanart#batfamily#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#the signal#duke thomas#robin#jason todd#damian wayne#red hood#red robin#tim drake#ft. two pixels of cassandra cain and stephanie brown#reupload since im not sure if my bowl will be back
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swap au designs for fun. Im making an animation w these two
Also weddingforest i heart doomed yuri

#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cookie run fanart#cookie run kingdom fanart#crk#crk fanart#cr fanart#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla cookie#wedding cake cookie#black forest cookie#shadowvanilla#pureshadow#weddingforest#The weddingforest and the shadowvanilla ones look like parallels lmao oops#i did the shadowvanilla one at like 5am in the morning i had to get the toxic yaoi out of my system#sage of truth#truthless recluse#i mean kinda#these designs are mostly based off them#truthlessage
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#poll#my posts#i have a number of friends from multiple different continents and differing opinions abound#public transportation#public transport system#manners#etiquette#also if you're comfortable sharing your nationality or culture i feel that's probably relevant#1k#5k#10k#15k#20k
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for tonight's performance, give it up for ariana griande and sabrina scarpenter
#hermitblr#hermitcraft#desertduo#scarian#grian#goodtimeswithscar#gtws#grian fanart#goodtimeswithscar fanart#mcyt#had to get it out of my system#probably my last doodle for the year. happy new year!#my art#edit: changed the wording . whew.#AU - Popstar Winners
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Commission for @breakfastbaron of their extremely interesting and well designed automaton assistant, Dot.
#my art#low poly#pixel art#3d model#3d animation#3d#commission#robots#robot art#breakfastbaron#robot#sunset system#robot oc#gif
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Soldier, Poet, Kings
Bonus wallpaper version with just Joel:
#wild life smp#smallishbeans#zombiecleo#goodtimeswithscar#inthelittlewood#trafficblr#I adore the celestial theme and im a tarot card truther but I toss this symbolism into the ring.#Change it up every 3 (ish) winners. It *is* a mainly 3 lives system. 3 is a good number for this series and symbolism#the red bandana on Joel's arm is Gem's he took after she died. his wedding ring is on his necklace. because family#Gonna draw silly car winner art FOR SURE. How can I not? Joel and is not exploded very important car. I love him so much <3#my art
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