#of course... there's kind of a canon to how this all went down; this campaign would kind of be an AU in a lot of ways

[strangesmallbard]

have u ever shared the lore of torlynn's guardian/dream visitor? :O

i haven't yet! at least not directly—i have posted about the oc she looks like: torlynn's previous girlfriend, a human storm sorcerer/oath of the ancients paladin named thalia adrian, who died in terrible circumstances about a century ago. specifically, she's the version of thalia that torlynn first met. when she died, she was about 40 human years old.

those terrible circumstances happen to be extremely plot relevant! anyway, like many people, i always headcanon the guardian as someone significant in tav's life, either someone who previously guided them and/or haunts them. and thalia—and those terrible, plot-relevant circumstances of her death—haunt torlynn so so so much! especially awhen the party enters the shadowlands at the beginning of act 2 . eyes emoji.

something else important: in addition to all the cool things above, thalia is also a bhaalspawn. if you know bg1/bg2 lore and raised your eyebrows at thalia's last name, you are very correct: she's actually gorion's ward, the protagonist of the first two games. (i haven't gotten a chance to play them yet, so all my info is from various wikis. i definitely plan to, though!)

the full torlynn/thalia story has expanded into many rooms in my mind palace, so i'll put the rest under a read more for anyone interested haha.

HISTORY:

a century and a half before the events of bg3, torlynn was a high harper based in the sword coast. before that, she served the harpers since her early 100's, participating in multiple campaigns/adventure parties across faerûn for the next three centuries. a century and a half before the events of bg3, torlynn was a harper before she was anything or anyone else, wholly dedicated to the cause. she also took her leadership role very seriously and gave up most personal relationships as a result, even amongst fellow harpers. she also became more careful than the unreserved, reckless, hotheaded person she'd been in youth.

more important context: torlynn's mom was a powerful necromancer and well-known in her academic circles. back in the day, she'd do all sorts of necromantic experiments in the baldur's gate sewers, as so much weird shit happens there. including bhaalist cults every few centuries or so. when torlynn was still in school, her mom went missing down there and absolutely everyone stonewalled her when she tried to find out why, including her dad (shareholder at sorcerous sundries) and the flaming fist (who she briefly joinde after graduating wizard school). she eventually determines that bhaalists were involved, but never found any trace of her mom.

SO when sarevok causes problems on purpose in baldur's gate, torlynn is right in the thick of it for both harper reasons and personal reasons, pulled to the home that hadn't been home in a very, very long time. (frankly unsure if this counters bg1 canon but this is also my mind palace <3). and then she meets thalia: bright, kind, reckless, very chaotically good, and a bhaalspawn. and a sorcerer, which simply doesn't help matters regardless of how torlynn is a wizard who cannot stand the company of other wizards. (parents made her go to wizard school).

RELATIONSHIP:

they ummmm do not hit off right away. although torlynn very much believes in the harper tenets of Free Will and Liberty Over Systems, she's also a big fan of rules and organization and systems that facilitate free will. and, of course, breaking rules and systems that are stupid and don't make sense. (this all very wizard of her, but don't tell her that) (thalia tells her that, repeatedly). she also doesn't trust thalia's dark urge for very valid reasons. this all manifests in clashes that annoy everyone in the general vicinity. but this is a classic enemies-to-lovers, babey! they experience trials and tribulations, defeat thalia's loser brother, and fall very hard for each other.

their relationship is always a bit tumultous, as they don't stop clashing about the fundamentals. bhaal is also determined to make thalia succomb to her urge, meaning her bhaalspawn dreams get a lot worse around torlynn. but these bitches love each other! they're mutually obsessed! lesbian devotion > your shitty dad, every time. their differences are ultimately complements; torlynn grounds thalia, helping her perceive things like fantasy spreadsheets and consequences for your actions, while thalia helps torlynn find that balance between her Great Harper Responsibilities and like, having fun lmao. experiencing life to its fullest extent after spending her own protecting others. [insert a 50k relationship development fic here].

LET'S JUMP 20 YEARS:

in that time, thalia has also joined the harpers, albeit in a less formal capacity. she and torlynn spend half those years together and half apart as thalia 1) avoids murdering her, and 2) searches for other bhaalspawn across the realm, determined to save them from their urge. (she rarely succeeds. according to the wiki page for gorion's ward, something that sets gorion's ward apart from other bhaalspawn was their supportive upbringing, which very few have). at some point, they hear about a weird situation brewing beyond the mountain pass. some guy named ketheric is causing problems on purpose and shar is involved. can't be good.

and man, you know most of what happens next. the harpers join forces with the druids from the grove and together they defeat ketheric and his dark justiciars. in this version of the story, however, they almost lose. their forces have dwindled into nothing and help isn't on the way and torlynn's best ranger flew off the fucking handle and started torturing enemy scouts. one night, huddled under a tent, shar's darkness already clinging to every corner, thalia brings up a strategy they haven't considered. dire to be sure, but don't these people deserve every dire strategy we have left to give? aren't you always saying that to win, we must sometimes be willing to lose? torlynn says Under No Circumstances Are You Allowed to Do That. i will make sure you never have to do that.

thalia bristles; she hates when torlynn pulls rank. (when anyone pulls any type of rank). she doesn't say anything else because she doesn't want to get mean. torlynn is too terrified to say anything and too ashamed of her fear to talk about that either. so they don't talk again, not until that final battle when another fucking shadow squadron crests over the field and thalia Does Just That.

that being: assume her slayer form, succombing to the very urge she dedicated her entire life to fighting. and because the slayer's only motivation is Kill Everyone, there's only one way to stop her from turning on the harpers and the druids after the dark justiciars are all dead and gone. and torlynn makes sure she's the one to stop her. she owes that end to her. she wants to hold her one more time, even if what she's holding is a very scary creature with lots of pointy limbs.

AFTERMATH:

when the war is officially over, torlynn is not well. like fundamentally just had her belief in anything shaken and stirred and then exploded and also exploded again. she's dedicated her life to this cause and now the lands are cursed and thalia is dead, turned into the monster she hated. perhaps her mother was right about everything turning to rot, so you may as well use that rot to your own ends. except torlynn is bad at rotting, so she goes to bother her mother's god about getting her girlfriend back. but, well, thalia isn't with myrkul. she's with bhaal. and he's noooot letting her go so easily.

that's when torlynn loses that last grip on her previous life. she deserts the harpers, throws herself into necromantic research, and decides she's going to rescue thalia from bhaal if it's the last thing she does. she spends about 75 years doing this. and then something too complicated for this already too-long post happens that causes her to abandon this mission. winds up teaching 10-year-olds how to conjure ice at her old school in waterdeep, still adrift and bitter and mostly unwell. that's roughly her status quo until the nautiloid scoops her up from the road between waterdeep and baldur's gate.

CONCLUSION:

anyway! the emperor sees this big ball of noxious grief in torlynn's mind and is like Oh fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me (perfect circumstances to manipulate the scary, highly-competent elf lady). he would have succeeded but torlynn has the power of friendship and gay sex with karlach on her side.

HEY, THEY KIND OF LOOK LIKE TALDER?

you got me there! torlynn kind of started out as an alder uber; i wanted to make an older lady oc who was both a magic user and some kind of military commander. besides their penchant for repression and the way grief is a huge part of their stories, torlynn wound up pretty different overall! thalia shares some physical traits with tally, but she's also taken a life of her own since that initial Haha Wouldn't It Be Funny If brainstorm. if anyone's interested i'm very happy to elaborate, but this is already too long LMAO. p.s. if you read the whole thing i love you

[majimemegoro]

frozen roar but it’s the full game

who WOULDNT want to play that?? main plot is basically the mountain village storyline as it exists in canon, but with a lot more details. there are many real animated cutscenes! including Of Course mr okdueras exposé is gorgeously animated.

gameplay mechanics!

the map is way bigger, for the village as well as the mountain. you can go inside nishina’s and sakurai’s houses for instance. on the mountain new locations include: a bigger ice cave with ice stalactites, a big birch grove, one very nice clearing, you can go in the bottom of the gorge, you can explore yama-oroshi’s den. you can go off-trail! theres more game there but its more dangerous.

you can go/fall in the river and theres idk clams in there or something, and sometimes very rare stuff...! but it drains your health really really fast. when you get out frost goes on your clothes for awhile.

more variety of plants and game, including birds! there are also serow, and if you shoot them you get charged with a fine for illegal hunting cursed by the mountain gods.

HUNTING DOG mechanic !!!!! you get an akita and you can pick its color and name it and stuff! you can give it treats and pat it, and it can help you when youre hunting :)

saejima has more outfits and gear that you can equip to get different stats and looks, like in horizon zero dawn. he can wear the santa suit, theres a bunch of different coat ensembles, theres proper winter camo. when you beat mr okudera’s rifle test substory you get a traditional matagi outfit you can equip.

different times of day! theres daytime, dusk, and nighttime! you can get different game at different times of day, like some birds are nocturnal or something! the mountain is more dangerous at night. maybe there are also ghosts!

weather conditions can also change! theres regular snowing, no snowing, and occasionally a bizzard. you lose health more quickly in a blizzard but certain substories or whatever can only be activated under the right weather conditinos and at the right time of day.

you can climb some trees and shoot from there

you can bring different companions on the mountain with you whenever you please. the companions are mr okudera, baba, sakurai, and idk saejimas hostess or something hahahahaha

not sure precisely how this would work but, smoe kind of thing where you find random stuff that slowly helps flesh out mr okduera’s backstory? like you find an old letter to sato kiyoshi, or an old newspaper clipping of a yakuza named okudera getting marked for death, stuff like that.

some kind of cooking minigame! also a wood carving minigame! maybe wood chopping too!

ive said if before but. flashback campaign where you play as mr okudera during The Event. cutscenes for this one go into way more detail and reveal where and how mr okudera wasn’t quite honest when he explained to saejima et al what went down! also gorgeously animated.

substories !!!!!!

something is scaring all the game away!! has yama-oroshi returned??? nope turns out sakurai’s new TV is malfunctioning and sending out bad sounds at a wavelength humans cant hear. punch the tv.

something where nishina kimiyo-san gets to do something bc shes cool.

I Need a story that results in cutscene where saejima and okudera (baba optional) get drunk together. its a matagi tradition after a hunt!! the bangin minibar is right there!! lets actually use it please !!

a baba hunting substory thats REALLY heavy-handed with the hints that baba is a hitman. saejima picks up on nothing of course. there are some really well done, tender yet bitter, dramatic irony bits in this one. like im imagining idk saejima saves baba from drowning in the frozen river or something and baba is obviously Very cut up about how much hes coming to care for saejima and saejima is just. ‘dont worry baba-chan I’ll always be there to help you out” and babas like. Thats the PROBLEm i have inner TURMOIL bc of it. very nice cutscenes.

Actual Ghost substory. not ever quite made clear whether its mr okuderas hunting partner.

something with ainu representation. its a farce that theres no ainu representation in y5 as it stands.

these poor bear cubs.... no one to take care of them! can mr oduera get over his grudge against bears in order to help

participate in a regular matagi group hunt with nishina and the others! lots of facts and terminology about matagi in this one. (mr okudera is not in this substory because he refuses to group hunt with the other villagers)

an assassin comes to get mr okudera !! or maybe its just a person who acts sketchy by accident.

actually lets have both of those substories lol ^ make it a running gag. the last one has an Amon show up, of the sniper variety. this dude found out sato kiyoshi is still alive and wants to defeat him and claim his title as the worlds greatest sniper.

the doggie is introduced with a substory of course :)

another bit where mr okuera gets hurt and saejima has to rescue him because that happening 3+ times in the main plot wasnt enough. this one is kinda wry and self-aware though. mr okduera is very cranky about it. theres a pun idk.

Return of the Wolf !

something with that tanner guy gonsuke or whatever because he was so funny lol. maybe hes scamming people with too-high prices, and saejima has to remind him of the importance of fostering a techne for its own sake, and that reputation will adhere to the artisan of quality without the need for boasting.

tendo

this is a spoiler for one of my WIPs but whatever. post-main-plot substory where mr okudera is acting really sketchy and keeps sneaking out to go hunting on his own, also seems very solemn and depresed. turns out hes rummaging through yama-oroshi’s lair looking for any old remains that might be human, so that he can finally lay all of his hunting parnter’s body parts to rest :)

im gonna just post this but i think im forgetting a bunch, may add later

PLEASE think of some ideas and share them :D

[rosieposiepie]

Hello! I am currently screaming over your update and was wondering if you had any fic recommendations to hold us until Sunday? Otherwise I will be reading yours over and over again. Love your work.

Oh boy, I got asked for fic recommendations! I immediately went through my bookmarks and history and pulled up... way more of my favorites than I should have. I'm even going to sort them into groups. One thing for sure is I've learned I love canon-divergent AUs, unsurprising given that I'm writing one. This is by no means a comprehensive list; these are just what I could pull up in fifteen minutes of going through my history.

Series:

the long road by perfect_little_fool

AU where Josh and Donna are stranded together in Forty Hours In America without Toby. They talk about their feelings and eventually end up hooking up and having a secret relationship. It's sweet and well-written. Explicit.

piece by piece, rubble to rubble by orphan_account

A collection of one-shots that diverges after Gaza for the better. It contains one of my favorites takes on the Gaza arc, and I love where it diverges. General & Teen.

still feels good by thotsandfeelings

AU where Josh and Donna get together before the Bartlet campaign via a one-night stand that turns into more. Donna is a law student working for the Bartlet campaign and brings Josh in. Explicit.

Works In Progress:

When They Know What We Know by @jessbakescakes

I'm so excited for this one, and I'm having a blast reading it! AU with secret marriage J/D. It's starting off in season one but should go all the way through season four. It's sweet so far, but I'm anticipating some decent angst when we hit Rosslyn. Teen.

we know every note, every word by heart by thotsandfeelings

I'm kind of double-dipping here since this is part of the still feels good series, but it's basically an AU of Rosslyn with established J/D. It seems discontinued so far, but I have hope. Explicit.

Multiple Chapters:

Long Story Short by @onelargecoffeepls

AU where Josh and Donna get together during the second inaugural ball. In four chapters, it deals with the aftermath of them getting together and the ups and downs they face through the rest of the series. It captures the romantic tension very well. Teen.

Timing, Degree, and Conviction by ETraytin

AU where Josh and Donna get locked up together during No Exit, and they end up getting together over the course of the Gaza arc. It's technically a canon-divergent series, but it's not linked as such, so if you like it, you can find the rest yourselves. Teen.

Regulatory Infarctions by @hufflepuffhermione

One of the few not-AUs here. A look into what happened during Josh's recovery after Rosslyn. While for most of it, Josh and Donna are trying to stay platonic, basically any interaction between them is dancing into the land of romance. This fic manages to balance that dynamic perfectly. Teen.

wading through by thesemovingparts

Donna's sister dies in a car accident, and Josh does what he can to help her through it after having experienced something similar. It's a painful look into grief and really inspired my version of Donna's parents because of how much I loved the angst of that dynamic. It hurts, but it's beautiful. Teen.

where the oleander grows by Kairach

A soulmate AU using the language of flowers. Basically, flowers appear on people's skin when something significant in their lives happens. This is more than just a J/D fic; it has many found family elements between the entire cast I love. It's just pretty to read. General.

One-Shots:

With One Hello, I'll Never Be The Same by @jessbakescakes

You know how Josh and Donna say "hi" to each other a lot? What if they said "hi" to each other more? Basically, this is a beautiful anthology of snippets of times that Josh and Donna say "hi" to each other throughout the course of their lives, which is one of my favorite motifs, and I loved to see it turn into an entire fic. Teen.

Josh's Journey by pipisafoat

Trans Josh! It gets kind of rough in some sections because it was trying to be time-accurate, and Trans people still go through way too much, but it's a great look into Josh's head, and I just... Trans Josh! I really don't have a better reason to describe why I love it so. Teen.

no doubts in my mind, I know that I'm surely sure by sam_writes_fics

It's Santos's second inaugural ball, Josh and Donna are married, Josh gets hit on by a lady who doesn't really understand the words "no, thanks," and Donna's hot shit. I just laughed a lot at this one. General.

and for the first time, what's past is past by sam_writes_fics

Josh gets into a car accident in season 6 when they're on opposite campaigns, and Donna is his emergency contact and shows up to help him anyway. It gets a little canon divergent near the end with reconciliation, but in general, it is just... sweet. Teen.

these feelings, they keep running red by @hufflepuffhermione

During season 7, when Josh and Donna are working together, but things are awkward, a look into the ways that Donna still cares for Josh even though she's struggling between devotion as his assistant and someone in love with him. General.

One-Shots (Smut):

Loophole by Speranza

Maybe one of the first J/D fics I ever read, and boy was it a great introduction into them. Basically, Josh sometimes gives Donna oral to cope with the fact he can't date her but wants to. It's just a perfect mix of sweetness and naughty forbiddenness. Explicit.

S.W.A.L.K. by auditoryeden

Josh keeps sending Donna flowers during their campaign estrangement, she confronts him about it, and then they resolve some sexual tension. Mature.

A Leader In The Street, But A Freak In the Bed by jessalae

Josh gets pegged. That's it. Explicit.

Accidental Metamorphoses by shutterbug_12

Season 7. A conversation about Josh not taking Donna seriously leads to an argument about their pasts, leads to an accidental love confession, leads to sex. It's just fun to see it go from point A to point B. Explicit.

we belong to you and me by perfect_little_fool

Soulmate AU, where when you first touch your soulmate, you get overwhelmed by lust. Josh and Donna want to be soulmates but don't realize it has to be skin contact until they accidentally touch inside a bar. Explicit.

is there anything you need? by perfect_little_fool

Donna calls Josh "sir" when she's upset about Jack Reese's reassignment, and it turns out he has a complex as far as that word is concerned. So, yeah, office sex. Explicit.

turns the flicker to a flame by fairwinds09

AU of War Crimes where Josh and Donna had a one-night stand after Noel and Josh's jealousy finally comes to a head after he knows Donna was with Cliff Calley. Also, Josh likes Donna's feet. Explicit.

bewitched, bothered (and bewildered) by fairwinds09

Part of a post-series series I do enjoy (can't give you anything but love), but I point out this in particular because Josh has a praise kink, and I'm on board with that headcanon. Explicit.

Anyway, hope the rec helps!

[havoc-warband]

(@commanderhorncleaver) I'm not curious... how did Vikarous react to/deal with dying during pof? During/after thoughts and perspective? How has it impacted him?

it has been 4 days since i got this ask and i have been THINKING ABOUT IT SO HARD because story wise i have no idea what happens after Mordremoth yet. but my dear mustelid friend has advised me! that i can just answer in hypotheticals. because i'm not even sure how/if this event is going to happen in what i've been calling My Canon! i'm gonna need something catchier for that. havocverse? anyway-

(note from after i regained control over my imagination & fingers - this got very rambly but it was really fun getting into Vikaros' head for this! thanks & apologies >:] )

if it DOES happen as in the story - he's alone, ambushed away from his allies, iirc - it would make so much sense that as a soul he's too traumatized to regain his memories entirely on his own. perhaps tybalt would guide him back. there is just so much stuff that would parallel claw island - separated from his warband, facing seemingly impossible odds, fighting an enemy that they don't know that much about yet, clearly on the road to losing after a drawn-out torturous battle - and if you've read the relevant writing thing on here you know that Vikaros did NOT handle that well at all: he went back, took his warband & quit the High Legions with all of them: surrounding himself with his family/friends and evacuating from the environment he perceived as Bad For Their Health.

so, back to the balthazar-corners-and-murders-us moment in PoF, when Vikaros eventually has his jesus moment and comes back to life, he's nearly catatonic - because let's not forget, at this point he's like, what, 25? and his whole life he's been a soldier and leader, and dying probably yanked his perspective on that upside fuckin down - and he does NOT respond to Anyone or Anything until his warband is brought to him, at which point he finally Breaks and just Refuses to let go of them, basically forces them into a multi-hour cuddle pit, very much confusing anyone who's only ever seen his Tough Commander exterior and even the rest of Havoc themselves who have Never seen him like this. he recovers to the point of being able to Speak after a few hours, and is a little bit embarrassed.

he would return to work shortly after, though, philosophy of "try and drown myself in work so i don't have to think about that", work consisting of fighting so it kind of fails at keeping him from Thinking About That, but at least he can burn off his rage and fear turning the forged hordes into dead porcupines from a distance. at night, he has nightmares, and wakes up screaming, but his warband is there for him, and they never let him go out without at least one of them and the entire warband if possible, an arrangement which will continue until balthazar's death, which does help him a little - the alone-ness after all was part of the horrors - and after balthazar's death, he does relax a little and the nightmares do relent a little, though they'll of course never go away fully

Thoughts-and-perspective wise, a LOT would change. Before, he's still on a high from a moderately successful campaign against Mordremoth with Trahearne only being able to participate from afar, so Vikaros *is* the highest officer in the jungle, and in his mind, he's this wildly successful soldier and commander, and it doesn't matter that he's never been anything else, because this is the thing he's so good at, and of course he can do a few other things too: he smiths daggers and axes and weaves baskets for the healers and suppliers and that's kind of fun - but that's not his primary purpose in life. And his primary purpose is what should bring him the highest joy, because he's a life-committed hero. (It doesn't matter that he didn't sign up for this, he tells himself, it doesn't)

Afterwards, he starts getting a lot more crises-of-faith, both of the "i'm not actually that good a fighter" kind and the "oh fuck i didn't realize i was throwing away so many chances to do other things in my life" variety. At this point he would still be Commander of the Pact, but he will start to consider resigning from that in order to pursue other things he wants to do personally. It's hard to conceptualize, though, because for so long, his work was his life, and now he has to separate them and also create a balance between them. And that's Hard, because sometimes he feels like he's letting every soldier and person on Tyria down by even thinking about it, and there's so much riding on it, but he's never felt this fucking Stuck before, before he realized that he was in fact Stuck. and again, recall the situation with the legions, he's not a fan of feeling Stuck somewhere he thinks will bring him his death one day.

[infiniteholeending]

you know what infinite hole man (+ fungus) ive been thinking what is the nature of reality in the stanley parable?

the narrator is obviously telling a story but stanley doesnt need to follow it and the narrator knows this but the narrator also knows we exist and refers to us aswell. To better demostrate my point lets start with s hypothetical point in space we shall call "reality" this is the 100% acurate location of the stanley parable in space and time.

now then does this point exist in our world for the stanley parable cast ( hereby shortened to TSPC) and thus the narrator is just some random guy and stanley is like his friend and the whole thing is a dnd campaign?

does reality exist in the office? and everything outside of it is meta commentary or suddenly manifested? Thus we as the player exist outside of both space and time relative to TSPC?

Is the world Mariela is in reality and we the players and the narrator fake by proxy?/

is the narrator and us the players fourth dementional beings hell bent on making stanley dance like a demented puppet?

or am i over thinking a game where a disebodied voice yells at us for going into our funny little cages? (broom closet and infinite hole respectfully)

from your dear stanley parable fan/psychopathic obsessed weirdo

-The-Mask-Maker

i don't think it's possible to overthink tsp. there's just too much in it worth thinking about.

ramblings under the cut

so broadly my answer to this question is "yes, but actually no, but actually yes" in that i think the reality of the stanley parable from an in-universe standpoint is very nebulous and open to interpretation; it's very similar to things like stanley's actual personality or how true anything the narrator says is.

tackling your questions not quite in order but i think whatever the parable's relation to in-universe reality is would necessarily be shared by mariella, since she exists within the narrator's awareness (setting aside for the time being all potential questions this raises about beings who don't or don't seem to, like 432 or the curator); she is more "her own person", so to speak, than the mannequin wife or the adventure line, but all the same she is part of an ending, just like they are. however i do not think she is aware of this the way stanley is.

as for the player in relation to the reality of the stanley parable, i would be lying if i said this was a question easily answerable by canon but canon does have a lot of stuff to chew on vis a vis this question.

so for starters, the not stanley ending. the way the narrator reacts seems to imply that, despite the fact that he's aware he's in a video game, it never seemed to occur to him that stanley might be controlled by an actual player. many of the other endings prove he's less omniscient than he lets on but it seems kind of odd that a character who is very explicitly aware that he's in a video game wouldn't know this.

there's also the fact that the curator not only addresses the player directly but talks about both stanley and the narrator like they aren't there. we could maybe excuse the actual museum as just being a meta joke but she's unquestionably part of the story, and one that exists outside of the narrator's awareness (or appears to) at that. the theory went around back in the day that the narrator was himself a protagonist, and she narrated him as he narrated stanley. it's narrators all the way down. i don't personally subscribe to it but if we're talking about the nature of reality in the stanley parable it's worth noting.

then of course there's all the fun new wrinkles in tspud, namely the fact that the narrator is aware of every ounce of press the game gets and, in the expo, does seem to acknowledge the player and stanley as separate entities without having (more of) an existential crisis about it. and the biggest of these is 432, who also addresses the player directly, and outside the normal confines of the game to boot--they talk to you before you even get to the main menu. and they're one who canonically has a kind of tenuous relationship with the reality that is implied to exist outside the parable--i always sort of parse it as them "living in the walls of reality"--so this too is another interesting wrinkle in the whole "how real is the parable" thing

my personal take on the whole thing is that the player is a real person looking into a fiction that acknowledges itself as such (and in doing so can recognize the presence of a real person) but is implicitly contained in a fiction that, as most fictions do, thinks it's reality.

(although all this being said i still do think the "the whole thing is just a tabletop game and the narrator is a bit of a railroading dm" take holds water but more for personal reasons--as a dm myself i relate a lot to him in the confusion ending lmao)

[fific7]

Cold Day in Hell - Part 2

Logan Delos x Reader

A/N: This does not completely follow canon, it’s mainly lemon zest 🍋 because the world needs more Logan Delos.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My GIF)

Logan went back to his own office after showing her to hers. He sat down in his plush office chair and swivelled slowly from side to side, picking up his pen and tapping it on the desk as he did so. He was thinking. How was he going to approach this?

Unusually for him, Logan wasn’t 100% convinced that she was attracted to him. That was something of a departure for him; the norm was that he would just look at someone and that was it, they were putty in his hands. Not this gal. He thought she might be interested but he could tell that there were walls up there, that was for sure.

Should he ask Juliet? She was dead set against him getting involved with this new lady, but it might be worth listening to one of her lectures if he got some useful ’women’s perspective’ advice at the same time. He got up and strolled the short distance down to her office, knocking and popping his head round the door. Juliet looked up from her screen at him, “Hey, Logan... what can I do for you? I’m right in the middle of something here.”

Irrespective of her comment, Logan went into the office and sat down in the chair opposite her. Sighing, Juliet put her screen lock on and lounged back in her own chair. Knowing him as she did, she could tell just by looking at his face that he was in thinking mode, in fact he wasn’t even looking at her; he was staring at the back of her big computer screen, a sure sign that his mind was off somewhere else. “Logan!” she said firmly, and his eyes snapped to hers, “I’m busy here, darling brother. What’s on your mind?”

As Juliet had been expecting, he said the name of their new secondment. Then he held up a hand, “Now I know you don’t want me to go there, Jules - but I’m serious here. She’s not a one-and-done in my mind.” Juliet snorted, “What then? A two-and-done?!” Logan rolled his eyes, “Ha ha, very funny. No. I’m thinking of something a bit more... established than that.”

Juliet’s eyes widened, “You mean....” her voice took on a mock awestruck tone, “...a relationship, Logan?” He nodded, “Well... yeah. I suppose you could call it that.” She sat forward, eyes boring into his, “No! I just don’t believe you. Look, you’re the guy who’s out on the town every night with a different person. Or occasionally someone you’ve taken out once or twice before. You are just not a monogamous kinda guy! I don’t want you to mess around with this girl!” Logan crossed one leg over the other and made a point of studying his nails, “I know you don’t, but I want to take her out. And I’m gonna take her out, Jules. She can make her own mind up if she doesn’t want anything to do with me from there on.”

Juliet muttered something and Logan leant in a bit, “Whaddya say, sis?” She looked him straight in the eye, “She probably doesn’t want anything to do with you right now, never mind after you’ve taken her out. Your reputation proceeds you, Lo.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d spent a little time arranging the few items you’d brought with you onto your new desk. Your laptop, your favourite pens, a ruler and a stapler. That was it - you liked to travel light. And anything else you needed, you were sure Delos Destinations would be able to supply by the kilo-load. Logan had said to you, before disappearing back to his own office, “I’ll leave you to settle in, and anything you need.... just ask!” There had been the merest hint of a wink accompanying that last comment, but you’d poker-faced it and just said, “Thanks, Logan.... I’ll bear that in mind.”

You so wished that he wasn’t as handsome as he was, as you had to admit that this made it quite difficult to concentrate on your projects. Shaking your head, you pulled up the folder for one of said projects on your laptop and began work on it.

Hopefully Logan would just keep to his own office. Otherwise you weren’t sure how much work you’d actually get done. Your eyes would be too busy drinking in the male masterpiece that was Logan Delos.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan walked dejectedly back to his office. The visit to Juliet for advice had been a complete and utter waste of time. All he’d got was one big rant about keeping far away from his new love interest. Well, he wasn’t about to do what she said, he’d be damned if he would.

Back in his office, he took to swinging from side to side in his chair once more. He really didn’t have a clue how to start his campaign to win her over. Logan just wasn’t used to having to chase down anyone he was interested in, so this was a bit of a new challenge for him. Should he go all out and whisk her off somewhere in one of the private jets? Take her out on the company yacht? Pick her up in a limo and take her to a premiere?

Or should he go low-key, ask her out for a coffee and see how that went down? Build it up from there? He’d picked up his pen once more and as he got more and more frustrated, threw it across the room where it bounced off the door, dropped and skittered across the floor. A couple of seconds later, his secretary knocked and opened the door, “Did you need something, Mr Delos?” “Uhhh.. no, no, it’s fine, Stacy, sorry about that.” She gave him a bit of a look, nodded and closed the door.

He sighed and thought to himself that he’d better get ready for these upcoming investor meetings in Seattle the following week. He sat bolt upright in his chair, smacking his forehead. Of course! Why hadn’t he thought of that sooner!

Three days in Seattle... just the two of them.... perfect!

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You heard a small tap and then Juliet’s head appeared round the door. “Welcome!” she smiled, coming into the office and over to you, giving you a big hug. “I’m so pleased you’re here!” You agreed, “Yes, I’m pleased to be here. It’s lovely to see you, Juliet.” “It’s going to be so much easier all round,” she said, before sitting down opposite you, “...it’s going to make a big difference to the status of the projects.” She paused, her eyes - so like Logan’s - gazing into yours, “And.... I don’t mean to sound off-putting, especially on your first day... but I’m guessing you already know that my brother is really quite taken with you?”

You gave a small smile, “Umm... yes I kind of did get that vibe.” She nodded, “You’re a damn good engineer and that’s a big part of the reason you’re here, but this was Logan’s idea and I’ll be straight with you, he’s busy working out how he’s going to get close to you.”

Laughing out loud, “Juliet, no offence to your brother - who’s a very good-looking guy - but it’ll be a cold day in hell before I go out with him. I know he’s a complete player.” She laughed too, “I’m glad you’re already aware of that. I mean, I love my brother to bits but he is just terrible at relationships! He doesn’t mean to be, but he says he doesn’t know if he could ever love anyone, any one person. It’s not really in his DNA.”

You took a breath, thought to yourself, why not? - and asked, “Is his ...uhh... substance abuse a thing of the past now? Well, as much as it can ever be.” Juliet nodded, a pained look on her face, “Yes, thank god. We had a pretty awful time with him for a while, especially after a... a particular situation in Westworld, but he’s clean now and still goes to meetings every so often just to keep himself in line. I really thought we’d lost him a couple of times, so yes, he’s done really well. I’m proud of him.” “You should be,” you agreed, having seen tears welling in her eyes when she’d mentioned losing him. “I’m sorry I brought that up, Juliet, I shouldn’t have said anything.” She smiled, “Hey, it’s fine. You should know what you’re getting into... or rather not getting into!”

You both laughed at that.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

In the meantime, Logan had asked his secretary to book one of the private jets and two hotel suites in downtown Seattle for the dates of the investor meetings. He was almost bouncing around his office, he was so pleased with himself and his new plan.

He thought he heard the sound of laughter coming from her office, and couldn’t stop himself from going right next door to see what was going on. He opened the door after a brief knock on it, and saw his sister sitting with the object of his affections, the two of them still laughing.

Juliet turned round and said with a smile, “Lo! We were just talking about you.” His eyes narrowed suspiciously, “Oh yeah?” She nodded, “Yeah. Are your ears flaming?” Logan scowled at her, “What have you been saying, Jules?” with a quick, anxious look over at the other woman in the room. Juliet stood up and said, “Oh, nothing too bad, Logan,” giving him a wicked little smile and striding out of the room.

Logan watched Juliet go before clearing his throat and turning back just in time to see her hiding a smile. “C’mon,” he said, “...what did she say?” She shook her head, “Honestly, nothing bad. She was just pulling your strings.” Logan just managed to stop himself saying that she would be more than welcome to pull his strings, before sitting down in the chair which Juliet had just vacated. “Okay... well, what I came in to tell you is that we’re going to Seattle next week...” total surprise on her face, “....to some investor meetings,” Logan carried on smoothly. “Oh now, Logan, why on earth would you want me to go to them?” “You’ll be able to update them on a few of those middleware projects you’re working on. You were so much better than that boring asshole they let do most of the presentation. You’ll wow these guys.”

She was still looking at him as if he’d asked her to go to the moon. “It’s all booked,” he said quickly, a tiny bit of confidence leaving his voice, “...so I’ll give you the dates and schedule, okay?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Oh, he’s booked it already has he? you thought. Sighing, you could feel your shoulders slump a little in defeat as you agreed to go with him. You knew that your boss wouldn’t be very impressed if you didn’t, as apart from helping Delos Destinations get more investment, you’d be floating your own company’s name out in front of them.

“Who else is going?” you asked, and saw a distinct gleam in Logan’s dark eyes as he answered, “Uhh.. just the two of us. Don’t want to overwhelm them with too many speakers.” He slapped his hands down onto his thighs, “Well, I’d better get back, I’ve got a meeting in 5. I’ll get those details to you asap.” He stood up, “See you later,” and left your office.

Okayyy - just the two of you? This trip was shaping up to be something out of a bad romcom.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan had mentioned the proposed Seattle trip to Juliet as they were both leaving the office, casually dropping in who was going amongst all the other details. She stopped in the middle of the corridor, looking round to see if anyone else was within earshot before saying in an exasperated tone, “Really, Logan? Are you serious? And I suppose there’s only going to be one room available when you get there?!” Logan held up both hands, “No!! You can check, there are two rooms booked!”

Juliet scowled at him, “Logan, I swear - you better be on your best behaviour. She’s only just arrived, so you piss her off this early in then I’m going to be super pissed too!” Logan did one of his over-exaggerated eye rolls, “Oh for fuck’s sake stop worrying, Jules, I’m not about to piss her off. I’m out to charm her.”

“Oh god help her then,” muttered Juliet as she stalked towards her car.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan took your hand as you stepped out of the chauffeur-driven car at the private airstrip. You’d thought about ignoring his outstretched hand but instead placed yours in his. A smile appeared on his face, “Now, this is how it’s gonna be over the next few days - us holding each other’s hands through the investor meetings.” You rolled your eyes, “Whatever you say, Logan.” “I do say,” he smirked, hand going to the small of your back as you reached the bottom of the steps up to the aircraft and guiding you onto them. You knew that his eyes were glued to your rear as you made your way up the steps, but tried to ignore the feeling. Every so often you’d catch Logan’s eyes on you, looking at you as if you were a prey animal and this made you even more determined to avoid getting involved with him.

But lordy it wasn’t easy, you admitted to yourself as you watched him settle his tall frame into the extremely comfortable seat facing yours. You’d never been on a private jet before, but you were having difficulty paying attention to all its facilities when Logan was looking absolutely edible in an impeccable dark blue suit and light pink shirt, unbuttoned quite low as usual and showing off a little chest hair. Your eyes met his after you’d finished exploring his body, and he was looking so smug you wanted to punch him. Damn! You’d better be more guarded in future when drooling over him.

Now you started showing an interest in the interior of the plane, but every time you caught Logan’s eye he was still smirking at you.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Ha! he laughed to himself, he’d obviously chosen the right suit then. He’d taken particular care when dressing that morning as he’d wanted to look really good for her and it seemed he’d made a good choice, judging by the look on her face when she’d finished eyeing him up and down.

He lounged back in his seat, still gazing at her. He wanted to fuck her so badly! His mind supplied a vision of himself climbing on top of her as she sat there, undoing her top, pushing her skirt up and.... He could feel himself getting hard just from that short clip playing in his head right now.

“Wanna fu-...”, he clamped his jaw shut, before carrying on, “...wanna drink, sweetheart?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You were under no illusions as to exactly what was running through Logan’s mind at that moment.

You’d noticed how his eyes had glazed over slightly as he stared at you, his lips parted, and you could literally see his trousers tightening by the second over his groin. The dead giveaway was when he almost asked you if you wanted to fuck instead of what you wanted to drink. You couldn’t stop a smile making its way onto your lips. There was an undeniable thrill that you could turn him on like this ...but No!!! your brain said. This guy’s middle name is ‘Player’ and even his own sister had warned you what a hound-dog he was.

“I’ll have a G&T, please,” you said sweetly, “...and nothing else, thanks.”

Logan looked stunned for a second, then pressed the call button for the attendant.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Oh shit, Logan thought, she knows exactly what I was thinking. I guess I’m being a little obvious here, I’d better calm it the hell down. He just wasn’t used to playing it cool in the pursuit of someone. Usually he went from 0 to 90 in sixty seconds, and the people he hung out with expected that from him. Not this gorgeous example of womanhood though. He was going to have to majorly change his approach.

But being with her like this - so close, just the two of them - was driving him crazy as it felt really intimate, and while his thoughts were still firmly planted in the sexual receptor of his brain, the longer they were on the plane together the more he realised that he was enjoying just being with her. Which surprised him to be honest, that wasn’t something that normally entered his sphere of relations with other people. She had a very calm demeanour, and it made him feel at ease. Conversation flowed, and he felt like he was getting to know her a lot more.

Initially he’d hinted to his sister that he wanted more than sex from his new love interest to get Juliet off his back, but now it appeared that karma had got him fair and square. It felt like that he did really want something more.

What that was, he wasn’t exactly sure yet.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Checking in to the fancy hotel in downtown Seattle, you noticed the receptionists - male and female - checking out Logan and not being discreet about it. He, meanwhile, was in his element, flirting up a storm with them while handing over his black Delos card to register for the rooms. You shook your head, smiling to yourself. This was exactly what put you off him. You were more than certain that he’d be sharing a bed with one or all of them that night.

He handed you your keycard, and quickly noting your room number you took off like a shot towards the elevators. Logan had been surprised when you’d set off so briskly, and scrambled to grab his bag and suitcase beside the reception desk before following you.

He reached the elevator just as you turned, smiling at him and commenting, “Have fun with your new little friends,” and nodding your head back towards reception.

Hitting the ‘close doors’ button, you were still smiling at him as the doors closed.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan scrabbled at the ‘call’ button but not quickly enough to stop the doors closing in his face. Damn it! The other elevator arrived after a couple of moments and he rushed into it, wanting to catch up with her. What had he done wrong? She’d seemed pissed off underneath that smile. And what did she mean by his ‘new little friends’? Then he realised what had ticked her off - he’d been doing his usual flirting with the hired help who of course had been flirting right back.

But it didn’t mean anything to him, it was just his usual m.o., didn’t she realise that? He’d obviously need to introduce her to the Delos way of doing things so there’d be no future misunderstandings.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You were just putting your toiletries out in the bathroom when there was a knock on the door. Knowing it would be Logan, you opened the door to find him standing outside still with his suitcase and bag in hand. “Come in,” you invited and he walked quickly inside. You went back to the bathroom and finished laying out your shower gel and shampoo.

He stopped next to your bed and sat on it, waiting until you emerged from the bathroom. You had to admit he looked good on your bed but dismissed the thought and headed over to your suitcase to start unpacking. “I always flirt with the staff,” he said, “...it gets you a better level of service.” “Or just gets you serviced,” you said before you could stop yourself. You heard his deep chuckle as you kept taking items out of your case.

“No, that’s not the aim,” he said, “truly it’s not.” Walking over to the unit underneath the giant flat-screen TV attached to the wall, you began putting the garments away in the drawers then became aware of Logan invading your personal space to look over your shoulder. He was smirking at you and you suddenly realised you were holding a handful of your lingerie. Long fingers stroked one of the silky pairs of panties you were holding and you abruptly shoved them all into the drawer and slammed it shut. “Logan!” you admonished him, but his only reaction was to keep smiling mischievously at you.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan had tried to persuade her to come out on the town with him but she’d decided to stay in the hotel and have an early night. So he’d gone out on his own, heading to a restaurant he’d eaten at before and ordering a steak and some wine. The waitress had been very interested in him, hitting on him shamelessly but he’d politely brushed her off.

There was only one person he wanted in his bed. Not sure how long it’s gonna take me to get her there though, he thought glumly.

What did surprise him was the fact that he was willing to hang on in there until that happened.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Drifting off to sleep, aware of the low sound of the TV in the background, you couldn’t even be bothered to sit up to grab the remote and switch it off. There was a low knock on your door, then a second one - louder - when you didn’t answer the door. Groaning, you got up and went over to it, looking through the peephole to see Logan standing outside.

Sighing, you opened the door and he swept into your room as if he owned it. Then with typical Logan braggadocio he threw himself gracefully onto your bed, propping up some pillows behind him, crossing his ankles and linking his hands behind his head. You rolled your eyes heavenwards and closed the door, making your way towards where he lay. You were damned if he was going to chase you out of your bed. Standing beside it with your hands on your hips, you demanded, “Logan... what do you think you’re doing exactly?” Those dark eyes of his roamed all over you in your short little silk nightdress and he smiled, “I’m lonely.”

“Lonely!” you laughed, “You’re... you’re just... unbelievable!” His smile got wider, “I’m more than willing to prove just how unbelievable I am, but you won’t let me.” “Do you blame me, Logan?” His smile faltered, and he looked away from you, gazing at the TV, “I guess not.” But then those dark chocolate eyes were back on you, “But you could at least give me a chance,” he said with a small but genuine smile.

You felt yourself melt a little, you couldn’t help it. So against your better judgement, you lay down next to him on the bed, under the covers. “Can I get myself a drink?” he asked. “Oh, I see, it’s my mini-bar you’re after, is it? Help yourself.” He got up and headed over to it, laughing and turning back to you, “You know only too well what I want, sweetheart.”

“You can have a whisky, Delos, but that’s all you’re having.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan sighed as he poured the whisky miniature into a glass and made his way back over to the bed. But then he perked up, after all he had made it into her bed - in a manner of speaking - and against all expectations. Now he just had to make sure he didn’t screw it up (again, in a manner of speaking) by hitting on her.

If he got to spend the night in her bed, that would be enough for him - for now.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your eyes slowly opened and you gave a little yawn, wondering what time it was and thinking that today was the first round of investor meetings, when you suddenly realised that you could feel someone’s breath on your ear and that there was an arm slung over your stomach. You were lying on your side and you moved your head slightly to look over your shoulder, but you knew what you’d see before you did.

Logan. His eyes closed, hair tousled, lying on top of the covers but he’d still managed to more or less wrap himself around you. He shifted slightly, giving a little sigh and burrowing his nose even further into the nape of your neck.

Oh hell. This was really not a good plan, but you couldn’t deny how good it felt to be lying here with him. He looked so deliciously handsome while he was asleep. But also vulnerable. You turned away from him and studied the bedroom wall opposite you.

You really did have to watch how you were handling this, or despite your best intentions you were going to end up getting badly hurt.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan awoke from the very horny dream he’d been having, only to remember that he was partly living it in real life. He sensed she was awake - he could tell by her breathing - and he decided to push his luck a bit. He gave a small sigh as if he was still sleeping, and gently rubbed his erection against the back of her leg. He heard a quick intake of breath, and smiled to himself as he felt her trying to squirm away from him but he tightened the arm he’d sneaked over her during the night.

“Logan!” she hissed, “Get that away from me!” He chuckled, “Aw sweetheart, get what away from you?” He further pushed his luck by moving her hair aside and kissing her behind her ear.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You shivered, he’d kissed you somewhere you wished he hadn’t as it made you want to kiss him back so badly. You were very aware of his body pressed up against yours, how good he smelt, how good it felt to be lying there with him almost wrapped around you....

You’d better get him out of this bed before you made a catastrophically bad decision.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

(Not my GIF - credit to owner)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@obscurilicious @theshadowkingsqueen

[tomwaterbabies]

I'd like to know if you could share some of your favorite art that you drew? since you have fantastic drawings 😊

you're very sweet, thank you! favorite pieces Of All Time would be too hard to pick i think so i'll share some of my (somewhat recent) favorite pieces ive done.

(DISCLAIMER: apparently there's quite a few i wanted to share so. sorry about the fact that there's 14 down below. lol)

^one of my first attempts with my new toned sketch style. and the first thing i drew this year! getting expressions/posing just the way i imagined is always a rare treat for me LOL so im also really happy with that still

^probably my favorite ive done with one of my Other new styles (semi-lineless painting) (along with the first i did with my favorite oc lol) kind of funny to have this as one of my favorites. like of course one of these answers would be pinocchio. but i really like this style because i try not to use any effects like glow or multiply. all the shading, highlights, and stuff like that here is just regular paint

^more disney... sigh. well these ones are sentimental because i love these guys and drew the first one on my bday which was also when this parade debuted at disneyland again. ive been called insane to have done that one entirely in one day but honestly that just makes me happy because i think ive really developed a good process for sketches like this to make them look nice AND to enjoy making them. the other was made after the last show of said parade and it was just fun to draw a bunch of characters interacting while trying to keep them in character

^too embarrassed to say what this is other than it's insane oc/canon art BUT i really love this new toned sketch style i do as i said above. and the left one came out nice i think! particularly fond of the wings and facial expressions! and the second one... well i really think it's just one of the best ive done of this character. his hair and proportions on his features just came out so well... ok im gay moving on

^dont even remember if this was this year or not but let's pretend it is. this one is self-explanatory i think. BIG lineup (for me anyway) and it's of the party from my first ever dnd campaign! very special

^these ones look simple but they both show things that became SO much more. the first one... it's a catalyst. the start of making what was originally just a COMPLETE joke character into one of my favorite ocs. a treasure. isnt he cute :3c and then the second one is my character i made for a custom ttrpg which ended up being one of the best EVER!!!!!!!! augh. a brilliant campaign made by my very talented friend that ive shared a bit of here

^idk this is just a cool prompt im proud of. "draw your ocs in fairytales/folktales" and i went mad (i love fairytales/folktales) and just did a bunch of them. in my painting style. can u guess which story is which (little hooded cloak man has the most niche one)

^pinocchio madness has done a few positive things for me. one, this oc my friend and i made for pinocchio is so precious, i really love their relationship and they bring me so much joy. but ive also developed my skills with expressiveness by studying and drawing disney's pinocchio. these are good examples of posing and expressions im really happy with (can u tell im really focused on expressions LOL). also pinocchio helped me get back to animation work??? wild

^i am pretty much always happy with how my "screenshot" styled pieces turn out, but this is the most recent one! glad to share this one too since it is literally fanart of the efteling which is that themepark im not normal about

OK IM STOPPING NOW. THANK U

[queercore-curriculum]

PLS go ahead and go off about qu. 1 and 10, i am intrigued!

YES, thank you so much for asking! And for the wonderful prompts, of course!

1. RQG characters are now the characters in another podcast you love. Whose places do they take, and how does this change the narrative?

I’ve spent a lot of time imagining the RQG characters in the world of Campaign: Skyjacks, which is my favorite podcast of all time. Here’s how I’d cast them:

Hamid as Jonnit Kessler. I mean, it’s a very clear parallel. Both have Big Protagonist Energy. Both are all about that coming-of-age narrative. Both are gifted at magic. Both have outstanding style. Both are known for vomiting. Neither of them can drink. 

Wilde as Travis Matagot. Another extremely clear parallel. Travis is basically a nastier, more insecure, American Wilde. They are so similar,  it’s fantastic. I’d actually love for this to be a crossover, and for Travis and Wilde to meet each other and just. Not get along, at all. Or maybe have a lot of sexual tension, who knows? 

Zolf as Gable. Lots of great parallels here, particularly their crises of faith, their shared acts-of-service love language, and strong sense of responsibility for others. Also Gable’s old-married-couple dynamic with Travis is very Zoscar. All the existential crises, lol. I’ll also say that Azu could be a good fit for Gable as well—big, powerful, sweet, charmingly awkward—especially because Azu and Hamid’s lovely friendship is more in keeping with Gable’s dynamic with Jonnit.

I could go on and on about this, but my answer for #10 is very long and it’s getting late lol. I’ll just have to write an RQG/Skyjacks crossover or fusion at some point. Spéir is just such an unbelievably great world!

10. Invent a plot for a Harrison Campbell novel; fictional or from canon.

Oh my god I love this question so fucking much. I have a deep, unhealthy obsession with Zolf’s deep, unhealthy obsession with Harrison Campbell. I just think it says so much about his character—this idea that he thinks of love as something you read about in books, just a story that gives you comfort but isn't real. ZOLF SMITH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

All this is to say, I’ve plotted out four Harrison Campbell novels:

When Passions Collide 

Jennifer is a commercial fisherwoman who has worked on a trawler since she was fourteen. Her captain is an absolute garbage person and she barely makes enough money to live, so she dreams of one day buying a trawler of her own. 

Richard is an apprentice painter who is making his professional debut at an exhibition in London in a few months, but he has yet to produce a painting that’s worthy of showcasing—all of his work is technically exceptional but lacks that spark of inspiration that brings a painting to life, and he wants to paint someone with a story worth telling. 

One day he goes to the docks to practice drawing from life, and when he sees Jennifer he’s captivated by her physicality and realizes that her body carries this story he’s been longing to paint. So he chases her down and asks to paint her portrait, and while she’s skeptical she agrees when he offers to give her all the money he makes when the painting is sold. Richard spends the rest of the novel painting Jennifer’s portrait and getting to know her, because he needs to understand her for the painting to really come to life. 

If you want to read more, you can find passages of my take on When Passions Collide in my fic Before a Fall (for which I created the Jennifer/Richard tag on AO3, one of my proudest RQG fandom accomplishments). I plotted out the entire novel and developed backstories for the characters and generally got way too into it, but I’m pretty proud of what I came up with and actually thought about writing an original novel based on When Passions Collide for a while. Maybe someday!

Love in a Time of Hardship

Violet and Rory have been friends since childhood, and Rory has loved Violet all their life. But Violet doesn’t have time for romance because she wants nothing more than to leave their rural community and go to medical school. 

Flash forward, and Violet has graduated medical school and is now an infectious disease specialist. When an aggressive pandemic sweeps through her hometown, Violet returns to work on the team researching a cure. Rory still lives there, and still loves Violet as much as ever. Violet still believes work comes first. But when Rory gets sick, suddenly Violet’s work is personal, and she realizes how much she has to lose. 

The Heart Beats Faster

An erotic lesbian romance that takes place at manor house party. I haven’t put that much thought into this plot, other than it’s definitely inspired by Think of England by K.J. Charles and has an extremely sexy scene in a greenhouse that’s basically the legendary “spoils of war” scene from the Drarry fic Transfigurations by Resonant. 

Questions of the Heart

Ok so this one is pretty meta. But in my coffeeshop AU fic Coriander, Wilde is a novelist who’s basically writing self-insert fic about him and Zolf while sitting in Zolf’s café. And on an RQG Discord server I was talking about how I kinda ship Zolf and Harrison Campbell because that fan/creator thing they’ve got going on is rife with sexual tension, and my friend Rain was like, what if Harrison Campbell came into the cafe a few years before but Zolf didn't recognize him, and was also inspired to write self-insert fic about him and Zolf?

So the premise is, Campbell went into Zolf’s café and soaking wet from the rain, and this handsome, muscular dwarf gave him a free curry so he could warm up, and then defended him from a mean customer. And Campbell was inspired to write a novel featuring Zolf as a protagonist. 

So he writes Questions of the Heart, which is a murder mystery/gothic romance with a lot of pathetic fallacy that’s heavily inspired by Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights (but make it extremely pulpy). Zolf’s character is named Jonah (lol) and there’s a femme fatale inspired by Sasha named Melanie (lol). Harrison Campbell’s self-insert is a Jane Eyre-type that Jonah defends even though they don’t really know each other. And the basic theme is that Jonah has some kind of idealized/overromantic vision of the protagonist that gets disabused somehow, but then he ends up falling in love with him for who he really is. Also there’s a Jonah/Melanie/Harrison Campbell insert love triangle. 

Alright I’m sure that was WAY more than you bargained for, but thanks for giving me an excuse to be extra AF, this was extremely fun <3

[paintedwarpony]

I’d love to know your thoughts on Luthic worship!

ABSOLUTELY. I would be glad to share! This is something that I started to explore as a player myself (but sadly the DM I had at the time seemed to actively discourage creativity) but then picked back up and continued to explore and expand on as a DM myself when one of my own players wanted to work up more orc-ish heritage culture for his own half-orc.

So typically the god that most orcs and half-orcs are associated with is Gruumsh the One Eye, the Ruiner, who in most instances aint a good dude. Specifically in my campaign, running in Matt Mercer's world Wildemount, Gruumsh is a Betrayer God and known to be a savage and brutal warmongerer and pillager, the orc and half-orc army under his command is cursed with equal savagery and brutality.

So two of the many brilliant things that Matt Mercer's world allows for are:

1. Races/Species historically considered monstrous or evil are given the opportunity canonically to be free of that villainous heritage

2. While there is a Prime Pantheon he built in and has made PLENTY of room for Quasi and Lesser Deities.

 

Alot of orcs and half-orcs in Wildemount turn to Kord the Storm Lord as their chosen deity, using his expectations of challenge and strength and sportsmanship as an outlet for the energy and rage thats left behind when breaking from the cursed influence of Gruumsh but I wanted more, "less aggressive" options.

So while exploring a bit about Gruumsh in older editions of D&D and orcs in the Monster Manual I came across little bits and blurbs about his "wife" Luthic. Of course in the info from the Forgotten Realms and older references she didn't have all the best traits but there was surprisingly ALOT of potential to really use Luthic as a benevolent goddess compared to the Ruiner.

Luthic is the orc goddess of home, hearth, family, fertility, wisdom, medicine and caves (and a few other less ideal things but we cherry pick because we can). Her totem is the orc rune for "home" and her animal is the cave bear/bear. She's referred to as "Cave Mother" which is the common deity name I and my player chose to refer to her by (akin to the Wildmother or the Moonweaver). She most associated with the Life and Nature domains. And while Luthic isn't particularly depicted as being soft or kind, her focus is always shifted to being protective of home and hearth, of family and to the health, prosperity and propagation of the family to carry on strong bloodlines.

Those were the biggest themes I decided to run with when it came to those that follow Luthic is their loyalty and protectiveness of their home and family clan, that orcish clans and families that follow Luthic are far more likely to produce Clerics and Paladins than more war-like classes, almost all Luthic followers have knowledge or home training in medicine and fall back of remedies readily.

Arguably Luthic is the reason half-orcs exist at all. One of the “commands” of Luthic is to go, propagate and bring strong young into the world regardless of heritage. A true goddess of fertility, Luthic doesn’t care about the parentage of children as long as they are strong and healthy. Feeding off that I made it a trait of Luthic Orcs to be far more tolerant and accepting of other Races and Species and especially accepting of individuals that are mixed races (wither orc is one of them or not). They are also far more relaxed and willing to seek partners and mates of any gender in other races and species. This makes for A LOT of diversity and mixing of culture as well as racial traits and physical attributes in Luthic Orc clans and families. In my personal campaign this is part of the reason why Luthic Orc clans thrive so well in Xhorhas and under Dynasty rule, where there is a similar mindset concerning mixed race family units and children. (The Kryn and Dynasty canonically embrace and view mixed race pairings and children as blessings and displays of genuine love). So a lot of Luthic Orc clans are made up of half-orcs of a variety of heritages and origins. The strength and bonds built within Luthic Orc clans start very early but they don’t prevent members from scattering to find their own families and places in the world but there is always a desire to eventually return, either for a visit or to knit two family groups into one. All in all this aspect of followers of Luthic make them exceptionally protective of children, their own and any they cross.

While many a villager or adventurer find themselves pleasantly surprised (or outright lucky) to find that some of the best midwives, surgeons, and healers have the surprising origins of being connected to Luthic Orcs or a Luthic Orc clan by some means, worshippers of the Cave Mother are not soft pushovers. A part of Luthic’s mythos and origins was that she was a general and great warrior of Gruumsh’s armies. While they are not the ravagers of the Ruiner’s followers nor the more aggressive tribes that follow the Storm Lord, Luthic devout orcs and half-orcs will without hesitation lay down their lives to defend their families, clans and homes. Often this protective instinct is so strong it extends to the community and/or country an individual orc or half-orc may be from and Luthic Orcs are often exceptionally fierce and revered soldiers and guardians.  

Within the campaign a few of the symbols and signs of worship of Luthic that had come up are holy symbols and totems in the form of bear claws or teeth, either left whole or carved with runes or turned into beads and charms used in any form of jewelry or ornamentation. The use of a bear pelt to accentuate or ornament clothing or armor, use of orcish runes (particularly ones meaning “cave”, “bear”, “home” and “family/clan”) are often embroidered, engraved or embossed on clothing, weaponry or armor as subtle ways to display loyalty to the Cave Mother. Simple shrines are made and often adorned with home and hand made carvings or crafts made of bone, clay, wood, stone, anything natural in the shape of a bear or a female/feminine figure representing Luthic herself. Her most holy day is the Winter Solstice and followers of Luthic gather up their families and closest friends and clan members for a long day and night of feasting around comfortable, roaring fires where familial and communal bonds are strengthened and prayers offered up for a healthy and hearty year to come and that any babes born are whole and hale (as in the more “primal” communities of orcs the winter is often considered the “mating season” as war bands and ravagers hole up in caves to ride out the worst of the winter weather).

Keeping actual bears is not common practice as bears are notoriously terrible pets and difficult to fully train and tame, though some Luthic worshippers that find themselves wandering the world as an adventurer do occasionally challenge themselves with raising a bear cub. Though any bear dens found in non-nomadic Luthic Orc territory are considered protected and to be left alone unless the animal proves to be a danger to the clan or community in some way.  

NOW that all being said I am only just starting my research into Maori culture and traditions and how I can weave it into Orcish and half-orc culture. The Maori have an extremely rich and deep culture and it has so many unique traditions and aspects. A major part of the Maori culture I intend to borrow from is the use of traditional arts. They include whakairo (carving), raranga (weaving), kapa haka (group performance), whaikōrero (oratory), and tā moko (tattoo). The patterns and characters represented record the beliefs and genealogies (whakapapa) of Māori. Tattoo especially will play in a lot into Luthic worshippers especially for clans in certain regions of (my homebrewed parts and cultures) of Wildemount that will display more diverse and influenced cultural traditions. BUT because I haven’t done all the research I want on that subject yet I will at this point refrain from commenting much further on the use of Maori cultural influence because its really important to me to get it right.

I went off on a bit of a ramble but hopefully this was informative! I’ve had a lot of fun developing this stuff for my campaign, characters and players and am glad to share it!

[songofclarity]

Im curious. Do you think much or anything at all would have changed if dad-nie had not died? Ramble to your heart content, this is not a topic i often see discused, if ar all.

I'm going to answer this one on the assumption that the saber incident just does not happen. And I accidentally first read the question as would anything have changed for Nie MingJue if dad-nie had not died? Which shows I just have Da-ge on the brain all day, every day.

The big change, of course, is that Nie MingJue wouldn't become a Sect Leader as a teenager!

I think a large part of Nie MingJue's character, how reserved he is at times and how dedicated he is to his job, is because he becomes a leader at a young age to an angry sect when he, too, is angry. Tensions are high and the chance for vengeance to relieve that tension are low. Everyone is upset, including him, and yet he's the one who is in charge of making decisions and handling all of this. This helps Nie MingJue learn to set aside his own feelings, in that he can put his saber down when filled with fury at being betrayed and focus on making goal-oriented decisions, but the cost for that lesson is high. There is no more time for play and he has to get straight to business. So goodbye hobbies and friendship and hello office hours!

That's stressful! I know popular fanon is Da-ge To All, but I actually think Nie MingJue makes (sadly) a very pitiful if well-meaning Da-ge even to those who called him Da-ge. He is not having an easy time of things and it shows. Lan XiChen and Meng Yao are both the closest people to him by the time he's at Hejian because they are kind, mild-mannered, and eager to help. He needs help whether he asks for it or not. That's why he accepts Lan XiChen's help during the war without question, not even realizing the information Lan XiChen provided meant there was a spy. That's why he accepts Jin GuangYao playing music for him even though he hates the kind of person Jin GuangYao has revealed himself to be. Nie MingJue is just trying to do his best and keep himself and everyone else alive--something his father failed to do when he let his rage destroy him and left his family and sect picking up the pieces.

So keeping Nie Dad alive would arguably mean Nie MingJue is spared all that. He could have hobbies! He could have casual friends! He wouldn't feel responsible for Nie HuaiSang's education or protecting Nie HuaiSang from the hard truth of their saber cultivation. There are adults, adults who aren't angry about a dead Nie Dad, who can handle all that and provide the needed discipline. So ideally his relationship with Nie HuaiSang would improve as well. They could be proper brothers. If Nie HuaiSang doesn't want to practice his saber, Nie MingJue could weigh in why he thinks Nie HuaiSang should, but it's not on him now to force it. Nie HuaiSang will not have to wait until Nie MingJue dies to realize that his brother cares for him.

Another change, then, is that Nie HuaiSang might not be as spoiled or be able to run off to do as he pleases with dad around and the sect functioning normally lol

Although much of this depends on what kind of man Nie Dad was, and what that would mean for Nie MingJue and the Nie Sect if he were still alive. Was he as arrogant and prideful as the guest cultivator said? Would his behavior have created a stressful environment at home? What if Nie Dad truly did prize and prioritize his saber and he was the one who made Nie MingJue throw his hobbies away and focus only on saber practice in the first place?

Nie HuaiSang could have turned out very differently in that case.

There's also the possibility that Nie MingJue was just always being a dutiful son to his father's wishes, whether his father lived or died. Maybe Nie MingJue never though about having hobbies in the first place because of this. Him becoming sect leader in the canon timeline could have been him simply copying Nie Dad.

Maybe Nie MingJue would still be the exact same person in that case.

And then there is the maybe that Lan XiChen and Nie MingJue never become friends, or have to become friends much later in life, because the Qinghe Nie are stable and don't need help from outsiders this time around.

Maybe Nie Dad staying alive would have made things worse.

Maybe Nie Dad was obedient and subservient to the Qishan Wen already. After all, he went when summoned and handed over his saber when asked and was only annoyed by Wen RuoHan's attitude rather than alarmed or insulted by it. Perhaps he was not unlike Jin GuangShan, trying to warm up to a higher power by being helpful and obedient. Without Wen RuoHan's trick, the Qinghe Nie remain at the side of the Qishan Wen, who now become unstoppable.

Which is an interesting contrast to the canon where the Nie Sect under Nie MingJue bow to no one. Out of all the Sects, the Qinghe Nie after the death of Nie Dad were the ones who seemed to have escaped the bullying of the Qishan Wen. Nie HuaiSang isn't mentioned as being at the indoctrination camp and any supervisory office should have been in Qinghe or the Unclean Realm, not way off in Hejian if it was even there at all. Wen RuoHan notes that Nie MingJue does not bend and likely he means Nie MingJue will not bend to the will of the Qishan Wen. After Nie Dad dies, the Qishan Wen appear to have just ignored the Qinghe Nie, who had gone feral against them and might have not been worth the effort to subdue lol

Because consider the canon set-up: Cloud Recesses was destroyed, Lotus Pier was massacred, and the Lanling Jin were expected to go crawling back to hug the leg of the Qishan Wen for protection... But the Qinghe Nie stood on their own. With Nie MingJue's leadership, they were the first out the door and they fought the hardest and the longest compared to everyone else. They were ready to fight to protect themselves and others. Under Nie MingJue's leadership, it was the Qinghe Nie, not the Lanling Jin, that were set to take the place of power of the Qishan Wen post-Sunshot Campaign.

Nie MingJue made the Qinghe Nie powerful! The only reason the Lanling Jin came out on top was because Meng Yao dealt Nie MingJue a critical blow and Nie MingJue never wanted power in the first place.

Could Nie Dad have done the same or better?

in which case I propose a BIG change: a Qishan Wen and Qinghe Nie alliance where everyone lives/nobody dies.

Before the guest cultivator spoke up, the Wen Sect and Nie Sect appear to have had a good relationship. Remember how Wang LingJiao at Lotus Pier was like, the boy shot down a kite that looked like the sun and the Qishan Wen are represented by the sun so the boy was shooting down the sun? Now we apply it to the gifted saber Wen RuoHan received. Wen RuoHan likes this gifted saber and the Qinghe Nie are a sect that prize sabers so Wen RuoHan likes the Qinghe Nie.

Truly, the only possible outcome from what the guest cultivator was saying was to destroy Wen-Nie relations. Nie Dad can no longer be trusted to speak the truth, Wen RuoHan is offended and wants to punish, and if Nie Dad ends up injured or dead, the guest cultivator isn't going to cry about it when he's sitting at his second fancy Wen banquet. So when the Qishan Wen and Qinghe Nie are getting too cozy with each other, the guest cultivator speaks up and ruins it.

But now we have Nie Dad still alive and relations are still good with Wen RuoHan, who is either just a powerful sect leader or the most powerful sect leader. We know that all the other sect leaders failed to make Wen RuoHan respect them, but what if Nie Dad was the exception all along? Considering how powerful Nie MingJue was at 25 that Wei WuXian ranked him in the top three cultivators, Nie Dad at 40/50/60+ has a reason to feel prideful towards his saber and his position in life!

If what the guest cultivator was saying, then Nie Dad bows to no one and he met Wen RuoHan face-on as equals.

Nie MingJue said before at Koi Tower that if the right person, such as Wen Qing, just spoke in Wen RuoHan's ear, all that disaster and chaos might not have happened. Just one person.

And maybe that was Nie Dad.

Nie Dad, dad to all...

[daydreamreality]

Thinking about actor availability, and how that affects my perception of Jess and how strongly I feel about shipping Literati.

Really thought this would only be a few paragraphs going over the points where Jess could have disappeared never to be seen again, but it turned into a freaking essay so LONG POST warning if you decide to click ahead. 

If the last we saw of Jess was hanging up the phone in the season 3 finale: "Well, it was fun ride while it lasted. That's about how I thought this would end." Still have a lot empathy for this kid and wish him well, but you screwed with Rory's heart like I knew would happen. Was that intentional? No. But he was so immature, out of control with his emotions, zero communication skills, not trusting in others...the list of reasons why he wasn't ready for a serious relationship, even if the feelings were serious, goes on. There was no way Rory wasn't going to end up as collateral damage in his personal breakdown that I could feel was going to happen. And this is the thought I had as a teenager with no dating experience watching this show for the first time. Did I want to date him? Hell no! I could see that trainwreck from a mile away. Rory was naïve to put her heart in his trust but that's part of her good qualities - she's sees the best in people and champions for them. I could go on a tangent about why exactly Jess was such an important character to me when I first watched the show (and probably why he stuck around unconsciously until I decided on a whim to rewatch GG in lockdown) but...I don't know, maybe some other time.

In the context of the entire show, I would look back at the relationship as my favorite one to watch of Rory's in the series (The build-up! The connection! Their deep belief in and respect for each other! The angst!) and Jess being a really fun character to root for (and yell at) but endgame? It was a short lived but important relationship. It’s fun to think about what ifs and how circumstances could have changed to make it work, but we can move on.

The ill-fated spin-off: I have no idea what this show would have been about except focusing on Jess and Jimmy and I’m not about to theorize. I still like Jess at this point so it would probably make me like him more since we’re getting a deeper dive into his character, but in regard to shipping him with Rory, this opinion would not change unless he all of sudden showed some great maturity. But I doubt this show would have even gotten a whole season so that probably wouldn’t happen. And then he’s living in California…this is too much, moving on.

If the last we see of Jess is in season 4: About the same feeling as above. Life, as expected, has not been treating Jess well. At all. His jadedness and hostility is at an all-time high when he shows up to get his car. Do I see the reasons informing his behavior and have empathy (once again, for a KID)? Yes, but he's also being a jerk. "The years don't seem to have hardened you." Well this year sure has!

I love the "I love you" scene but too little too late, buddy. That's probably why I love it, it's all a bit hopeless. Just keep shoveling the angst at me. I do like fics where this scene is reimagined with Rory running after him to give him a piece of her mind or Jess finding some other words to say (I really feel like he had more to say there but got overwhelmed), and coming to a tentative reconciliation: exchanging numbers, "don't fall off the face of the earth," but getting back together? No. You hurt her and you're feeling the consequences. Rory is not obligated or responsible to reciprocate those feelings, nor is she in a place to do that right now. 

But season 4 does cement that Luke and Jess's relationship is one of my favorites in the entire show. There's probably a whole other post in me regarding that so I'll keep it brief. Because of his respect for Luke, Jess makes tentative steps towards maturing in interpersonal relationships. He shows some vulnerability and honesty with a veil of sarcasm and awkwardness because, well, it's JESS.

But then of course this all goes to hell when applied to Rory. Sometimes I like to think how this dorm scene would have gone down if Rory stepped back for a second and went, "Hold on. You're not making any sense, chill out," and they could have talked a bit and had a similar reconciliation like I said above because I really think that’s all he was going for - to talk to her, apologize, and make an attempt at reciprocation like he did with Luke. But getting back together here? Canonically, he hasn't made enough progress. He set aside his personal feelings to be in his mother's wedding and used the knowledge from the self-help book to apologize to Luke, but I don't think the book's message has sunk in all the way yet and he’s still got a massive chip on his shoulder preventing him from making a good life for himself. Getting rejected by Rory here is an important moment and I really like it. It's fun to think about the AU if Rory had said yes (hello road trip!), but it's very in-character for her to not be able to handle Jess's crisis and just shouting "NO, make it stop." This is one of my proudest of Rory moments: Protect your heart girl, he ain't ready. The seeds have been planted that Jess will continue to grow and I wish him well on his journey. Endgame material? Nah. Goodbye forever, take care my friend...

Even though this scene doesn't feel like closure at all, I really thought this was the end of Jess Mariano. So imagine my surprise when -

SEASON 6: HE'S BACK. Coming out of the shadows, [literally] it's Jess Marianoooo *air horns* *confetti* *jazz hands* *Jess rolls his eyes at the fanfare*

Alright, that's out of my system. But for real that's what my mind did at this point. For context, the way I watched this show for the first time was getting the DVDs from the library while a couple of seasons were still on the air; when a new season was available to borrow, I would rewatch all the seasons up to the current point so my memories and favorite parts of the show are seasons 1-4. Because I was not bingeing the show all the way through, seeing Jess here seemingly so different didn’t feel out of place. A shock, yes! A happy surprise. But nothing about him seemed OOC. A year had gone by, we’d seen some signs of maturity in him, and getting rejected by Rory was a big kick in the ass for him to start making bigger changes in his life. I really cannot emphasize how satisfying and sensical his positive character development felt to me. 

The slight maturity we see in season 4 in its full potential. Jess is still Jess: guarded, self-deprecating, and a bit prickly but he shows a sense of calm and feeling more comfortable in his skin. This is really satisfying to see as someone who always "knew" there was a kind and capable heart underneath the exterior just like Rory did, and that tough guy, must protect myself at all costs posturing has melted away. But that side of him isn't gone, it's not like the writing did a complete 180 on his character. I love this. He's just...more at peace with himself but he's not a different person, and he's found something to direct his focus and intellect on. He's made his peace with Luke, and now he has something of worth to show Rory to try to mend that hurt as well.

Yes, it would have been nice to see how and why he decided to write a book and work in publishing but this course of events is not out of left field, nor is Jess enough of a main character at this point for scenes like this to be necessary to the show unless they were tied to Luke and showing another side of him. Jess has shown in the past that he has a good work ethic if he feels it is worth it. The problem wasn't him being lazy, just poor decision making and focusing on RIGHT NOW, "I need to get out of Stars Hollow and live my life," and not considering the consequences of his actions. Which as an immature kid whose life had told him he can only depend on himself...not out of the ordinary. The dude’s life passion is literature and has probably read every book he can get his hands on, it’s not crazy that he had his own story in him. 

Here is where Literati becomes endgame material for me. Prior to the revival it was always my feeling that post-series they would reconnect while Rory was on the campaign or afterwards. It would be low drama (except for Lorelai criticism), slowly gaining trust in each other again, and eventually starting a committed relationship within a year or two of being friends with sexual tension (lol). They made their adolescent mistakes, hurt each other, but learned from it and started over on infinitely better footing.

The match just makes sense to me at this point for many reasons; I don't feel like I need to list them all out because you can go to any pro-Literati post and I'll probably agree with the majority of the points. The biggest issue they had was timing: “Right heart, wrong time.” I like especially how they even out each other's more extreme personality traits. For example, Rory learning from Jess to consider her own feelings instead of sacrificing herself for others, and Jess considering others before himself all the time. Or professionally, I can see Jess encouraging her to step away from her ultra-organized, “everything has to be just so” ways when it benefits her to seize an opportunity right now, don’t worry about the details, you got this. Maybe Jess has another book in him, but his self-deprecation and disorganization prevent him from getting it done but Rory helps him be more objective and focused. There’s this…synergistic energy I feel with the two of them: they’re great by themselves, but form something better together.

Judging from Rory's reactions towards him in this season, I don't think it's OOC for her to have romantic feelings for him again. She's extremely proud of his accomplishments and not unhappy to see him (not holding a grudge). They fall back into their comfortable dynamic even if it makes them both a bit nervous. Now some could argue that this means that Rory only wants to be friends with him but...when have Jess and Rory ever been just friends? If "Another Year in the Life" comes out (I've got serious doubts but would love to be proved wrong) and Rory rejects him or he's not even a part of it, fine! But I just don't see anything in canon that says explicitly she'll never feel romantic towards him again.

Now the kiss...there's a lot of ways to read that scene. Do I think Jess was in the right to assume "everything is fixed" as a go ahead? No. But that's part of why he is such an engaging character: he's impulsive and acts in accordance to his feelings, and yes, this gets himself and others in trouble. 

Do I think Rory purposefully went to the open house to "use" Jess to get back at Logan? No. I think she genuinely wanted to support him, and Logan being out of town meant she wouldn't have to explain why it was important for her to go. I see the kiss paralleling the one in 2x22 but instead of Rory not being able to hold her feelings in any longer, Jess initiates. The way I see it is she was unaware she still had lingering feelings towards him (not out of nowhere, I mean their relationship has "unfinished business" written all over it) and that scared the crap out of her, just like at the end of season 2. So she runs away to the "safe space" that is being with Logan. Because she's in love with Logan, she has a sense of obligation towards him, and Rory has shown many times that she does not react well to change and highly emotional situations.

Is this scene a deal breaker for a future relationship between them? I don't think so. Jess says that he isn't sorry she came, which I take as "I'll never be sorry to see you no matter the context." Yes, this hurt him and made him pretty mad, but I don't think he's holding a grudge against her for this; even in the moment he's more concerned that someone cheated on her and her safety getting to her car. He sets a boundary that he doesn't deserve his feelings to be pushed around like this and Rory agrees. Not that I condone this sort of tit-for-tat hurting of each other (which I don't think Rory was going for in the first place) but it's almost like...that cycle is now broken. The whole scene is so open ended, it doesn't feel like a "good bye forever" to Jess.

"But Rory is so in love with Logan!" I don't know about you, but that "I'm in love with him despite all the bad he's done..." sounds so defeated and sad. It's almost like she's resigned herself to being in love with Logan. The first time I watched this, I thought this was foreshadowing that the relationship was on its last legs. To keep them together, Logan almost dies so Rory will bury her hurt out of guilt for holding a grudge against him. She is completely entitled to feeling hurt by Logan's actions, and I hate that she feels like she has to do this. But it happened, moving on.

"But Rory is a cheater!" When I think about Rory's characteristics, "cheater" doesn't make the list. She feels entitled to the men that she's loved and this isn’t super great behavior, but I don't view her as inherently unfaithful or okay with cheating. I give her leeway on the season 2 Jess kiss because she was a teenager with a lot of conflicting emotions and everything around her was pushing her to stay with Dean. The season 4 Dean debacle...she was still very young and naïve. I put most of the blame on Dean for manipulating her; I say most because if Rory really wanted to be with him, she should have been more sure of the status of his marriage, but I repeat: he manipulated her and she was very young and naïve. I dare to say she has been conditioned to view Dean as nothing but safe and trustworthy so why wouldn't she believe him... Season 4 was all about her being out of sorts when away from the Stars Hollow bubble and trying to reclaim some normalcy. Narratively, I see why this makes sense and I don't think the intention was to say “Rory is okay with cheating,” but to show very explicitly that Rory isn't perfect. This show goes to extremes, at this point I kind of just accept it and don't jump to "this person/character is terrible!" Certain characteristics and behaviors I have less patience for (mild) or will make me lose all respect for a character (extreme - honestly very few GG characters fall into this category for me); you may feel differently and that's fine. When other plot points in this series are much more bizarre and OOC, while this turn of events makes me uncomfortable and angry, at least it makes sense to me.

The 6x18 kiss I've already said that I don't think Rory had premeditated intent to cheat on Logan judging from the fact that Jess initiated it; yes, she went with it nor was it a complete surprise, I get this. The "I couldn't even cheat on him..." line I think is an outburst of guilt and regret, not her saying she had a plan in mind. Maybe I'm being too soft on her, I don't know...she did stay there late but maybe she just got lost in the book while waiting to say bye. We've seen her not know how to deal with conflicting emotions and change to her status quo, and attempt to distract herself when life isn't panning out the way she wants and not think about the consequences in the moment, so I don't find this scene OOC or intentionally cruel. The revival...I don’t think I can even go there right now because it would just be me screaming incoherently about how much I hate "full circle" and how bizarre the entire thing was. Maybe something of value would eventually come out with a lot of editing. XD

This isn’t to say I’m 100% on Rory’s side all the time. Pretty much every character in this show has at some point made me smile, made me laugh (generally with them, but some characters it’s more like at), made me want to give them a hug, made me roll my eyes, and made me want to throw something at them. That’s why I love it so much! Even if the drama is turned up to 1000, I still get the sense that these characters are human. My favs end up on my “will protect at all costs” and “shit” lists throughout the series, no one is immune. Except Lane. She really is the best person in this entire show. #JusticeForLaneKim

If ASP had written season 7: (Remember there being some sort of theme to this post? Only two episodes in s6, but Jess sure does make an impact.) I bet Jess would show up at some point. MV is loyal to the creators and not the show, if it was important for Jess to be there I’m sure his shooting schedule would have been accounted for. Storyline would have been similar to the revival because AYITL is ASPs season she didn’t get to do without considering how time passing affects the characters (I’M STILL SALTY) except Rory is at Yale and I think the book was a new idea. Shipping as endgame doesn’t change, and I bet there wouldn’t be a nice little Literati ending because we’ve got to end it the same way, right? I don't even need them to be together at the end because Rory has greater plans to focus on, but just a moment! One moment is all I asked for... I don’t know if this makes me mad because I felt like the narrative had been pushing us along this path for so long even if actual "endgame" was going to be offscreen or if I kind of like just having it in my imagination. Little bit of column A, little bit of column B. In any case, it could have been cool to see Jess present for the birth of his half-sister and giving Luke some support. 

Like I said, I'm not touching AYITL right now. The whole starting point of this was, "huh, if MV never came back to the show, how would I feel about Jess and Literati?" And he was in it so it doesn't really fit into this even though we've gone on a meandering journey as pieces of discourse that have never sat right with me but didn't quite know how to express that disagreement until now popped in my mind. So there you go. If you’ve made it to end, claps to you, what a champ.

At the end of the day, Literati is the ship that makes me feel the most things, it's kind of just a gut thing. This really isn't any sort of argument just an outpouring of love for the show and these characters. I don't know how well that's communicated, but hey, I try. I’ve got a lot of nostalgia for the pairing and I always viewed Jess as being Rory’s, and only Rory’s, choice.

[rosethornewrites]

Fics I read this week

Some of these may have been read earlier than a week ago, but I tried to keep it contained. Not sure I’ll keep this up, but I’ll try.

Finished:

Rated E:

the origin of change, by kissteethstainred, rated E

Lan Xichen said, “Time for regrowth and mourning is, of course, the most important. But there has also been a—frequent—discussion of marriage.” He paused to drink more tea. He almost seemed apologetic when he added, “Your name has been brought up often.”

“For marriage,” Lan Wangji repeated.

Except with Wei Ying in the picture, nothing goes exactly as planned.

Opportunity, by brooklinegirl, rated E

Lan Zhan is jostled slightly and he turns in his seat to see a harried-looking man squeezing in next to him. There isn't an empty seat there, and the bar is quite crowded. "Sorry," the man says, sounding out of breath. "I know I'm all up in your business, I'll move, I promise, I just—" He blows his breath out. "I'm going to lose this seat next to you, that dude over there has been eyeing it, and it's mine as soon as this guy leaves.”

Rated M:

Oxymoron, by feline_somnambulist, rated M

Jiang Yanli was in the kitchen. She hummed softly along to music being played somewhere else in the house, as she shuffled carefully back and forth from the prep table to the giant vat of soup. The house smelled like pork rib and savory broth. As always, she was beautiful in her element, a goddess of her domain despite the limp and the leg brace.

Her phone rang just as Jiang Cheng entered the kitchen. She saw him and smiled as she made her careful way to the phone on the wall-mounted charging station.

Jiang Cheng put the stack of paperwork down on a counter. He got to the phone first, picked it up. It was Lan Wangji’s number. He rejected the call and put the phone in his pocket.

“A-Cheng? Is everything okay?” Jiang Yanli asked, a frown creasing her brow. “Who was that?”

It Ends With the Beginning, by feline_somnambulist, rated M

They fight. They part. Jiang Cheng is hurt. Wei Wuxian comes to help. Wei Wuxian runs. Jiang Cheng is tired of chasing. They fight.

Until The End, by abCEE, rated M

"When I -- when I tied my ribbon around our wrists, I knew what I was doing and I privately honored it." Wei Wuxian's brows continued to meet as he tried to understand where the conversation was going until realization dawned on him. "Wa -- wait! Lan Zhan, is it what I think it is?!!" "It is usually done at the end of a wedding ceremony --" "What-" "But it could have been acknowledged as an engagement." "Lan Zhan!" He cannot believe what he is hearing now. "But my ancestor revealed herself --" "And we bowed… three times. We bowed, Lan Zhan!"

In which wangxian are married since the Cold Pond Cave incident, knows how proper communication works, and had confessed in the middle of the Sunshot Campaign. Things went spiraling up and down from there.

Rated T:

as it should be, by Sienne, rated T

Post-canon Lan Qiren time travels to before the Cloud Recesses lectures. The Cloud Recesses are quiet and peaceful, something his home hasn't been in years. ...In fact, it is too quiet and peaceful.

Judgment Day, by Grace_Logan, rated T

Cornered Wei Wuxian sees only one way out after cluing in on the Jin's plan.

Welcome To Gusu, by perkynurples, rated T

Deep in the lush forests of Gusu hides an aging resort that hosts dozens of children every summer for an unforgettable couple of weeks. It’s where Lan Wangji grew up alongside Wei Wuxian, and when his childhood friend (for the lack of a better term) surprisingly returns years later in the position of Senior Counsellor, seemingly hell bent on causing the same kind of mischief that got him kicked out of Gusu in the first place, but also taller, broader and tanner than ever before, Lan Wangji knows he’s In Trouble. Or, this fic has it all: longing looks over campfires, found family dynamics, ill-timed skinny dipping, teenagers inappropriately shipping their counsellors, camp weddings...

Therapy is a Performative Act, by cinder1013, rated T

“What does your dad think of your comedy?”

“Oh, he hates it, but it pays the bills and I need it to pay for my goddamn fuckin’ therapy.”

Jiang Cheng stumbles into being a stand-up comic and his favorite topic is dear ol’ dad.

sorry, i love you, by moon_thief, rated T

lan wangji was practically seething as he watched it happen. what kind of person could be so careless, unruly, undisciplined-

and then their eyes met.

oh. oh.

Tremble a Prayer, by cqlorphan, rated T

They kiss, and Lan Wangji regulates himself. There are no tears pricking at his eyes. There is no lump in his throat. His hands are undressing Wei Ying, and then Wei Ying’s hands are on his hands.

“What is it?” Wei Ying says, between kisses.

Even with Wei Ying back, Lan Wangji's sadness overwhelms him at times. He tries, and fails, to keep it from him.

The Quiet Work, by ShipsAreLaunching, rated T

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian get a summons for help from a minor clan in Gusu. When they go to investigate they find a horrible truth, and do what they do best.

Rated G:

Ink Stains Not So Ignored, by Preludian_Staves, rated G

Qiren found something that he still couldn't bring himself to ignore about his youngest nephew's husband.

I’d buy a big house where we both could live, by failed2be_chill, rated G

“Ah, so you want to play with the rabbits and enjoy their soft fur and silly little nose twitches while your poor husband toils in the heat of the day with hammer and nail doing exhausting manual labour. I see how it is. It’s a good job I love you, huh?” Wei Wuxian kisses his husband’s soft cheek.

“Mn, very good.”

---

Or, married WangXian embrace the practical and symbolic joys of home ownership. Domestic bliss.

Family, by Speechless_since_1998, rated G

Jiang Cheng blinked as his brother while he played with the baby he was holding.

He hoped he had misunderstood, but he had proof that it was true right in front of him.

So he did the only sensible thing that came to mind, "Wei Ying, what the fuck ?! '

"A-Cheng, language!" Shijie scolded him with a stern look.

"A-Jie, you can't really accept such a thing!"

"Why not? He is so cute!" she said, making funny faces at the child, totally in love with him.

Was it possible that he was the only one with a bit of mental sanity left?

A Lonely Guqin (No More), by Asphodel_Meadow, rated G

Wei Wuxian is the first person who makes Lan Wangji want to have a duet.

piercing, by escapingaugust, rated G (read the tags)

Stolen Midnights, by hinotoriii, rated G

There are nights where sleep eludes Wei Wuxian. Where the demons of his past are too loud in his mind, reminding him of that which he could never forget, second life or not.

Unfinished:

Not Rated:

Disclosed Regrets, by zLanWuxian, Not Rated

The majority of the cultivation world are pulled into a room that suspiciously resembled the burial mounds. (Their golden cores were sealed too. As to why, nobody knew.)

They are invited to watch Wei Wuxian's life.

What will they do when they find out everything they believed was a lie?

(Or: The characters of Mo Dao Zu Shi watch Mo Dao Zu Shi)

Rated E:

Where You Fell, by Sweet_William, rated E

Years ago, Lan Wangji was a Senior in high school, readying himself for graduation and the coming years studying at the Gusu Lan Institute of Music. Everything in his life made sense, from his role in his family, to a future as a classical musician. The only thing that didn’t fit was the sudden epiphanies he had about himself brought on by his bothersome and flirtatious classmate, Wei Wuxian. When the growing attraction and friendship was cut short by the other boy’s disappearance, he mourned what could have been, but ultimately had to move on. What he didn’t know was that fate would bring them back together again one day, or the reality of how far apart two lives can diverge, how some can find peace and prosperity, while others can fall farther than he ever imagined.

A Narrow Bridge, by FrameofMind and Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle), rated E

Once, Lan Wangji made a choice to step aside. Ten years after Wei Ying’s death, he finds a way back to choose again.

Setting fire to our insides, by StarsAlignNomore, rated E

Lan Wangji dies after the thirty-third strike. Lan Xichen does not handle it well.

*fleabag voice* This is a fix it.

Rated M:

Live Again, Love Anew, by kkanime5555, rated M

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian finally speaks up.

“Mn.” Lan Zhan hums to show he’s listening.

“I think we traveled back in time.”

...

“I’ll go, Lan Zhan. I’ll come to Gusu with you.”

-----

Or,

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are soulmates and, upon Wei Ying's death, they are sent back to when they first met as kids on the streets of Yiling. From there, they both are taken to Gusu, where they are raised together, gradually learning of their shared feelings and finding out the mystery of who sent them back in time and why, all while planning how to save the world, preferably with all their loved ones left alive.

A Torn Red Ribbon, by shiroakuma, rated M

The night before they marched into the Nightless City, Lan Wangji was invited to join Wei Wuxian in his tent.

Unbeknownst to him at that time, it became their last real conversation.

In which, a resounding victory against the QishanWen Sect is won seemingly at the cost of Wei Wuxian's life. Lan Wangji still spends some time being heavily injured. Lan Xichen tries to pick the pieces left behind by the war. The Jiang Sect is renowned thanks to the revered Wei Wuxian and the cultivation world is plagued by unknown forces while Lan Wangji meets with Wei Wuxian in his dreams.

Sacrifices Made with Blood, by NocturnalFriend, rated M

Lan Wangji knew it was too late, there was too much blood on Wei Ying's hands already. Still, if he asked his brother for help, surely. There was a way to rescue the man who held his heart?

Or: Trust is not easily given and all to easily shattered. Lan Wangji learns this in the worst way, when Lan Xichen gives into the demands of the cultivation world. Although nobody could have predicted the whims of fate, giving them another chance at righting things.

What makes you sing?, by Fictio, rated M

Madam Yu was never known for her matchmaking skills but she was known for her inherent meddling. Though it still came as a surprise, when on one fine Saturday afternoon, she called Wei Ying and set him up for a blind date.

There She Rose, by Aiiiru, rated M

Many years had passed yet whispers and gossips about YiLing Matriarch still stayed alive like unruly weeds refusing to die.

"That damn Wei Wuxian must have cursed this year's harvest with 'unkillable' locusts" "But Wei Wuxian had died right?" "Didn't you know that her body wasn't found?" "I heard some cultivators saying that during the chaos, some people saw her leaving in a sword, flying away with someone else." "That must be the demon with whom she signed a contract, a female challenging three thousand or was it five thousand cultivators by herself? Hah!! She definitely has ties with evil creatures and ghosts." "I heard from my cousin in Yunmeng that YiLing Matriarch was born shameless." "Some say she was a male but took female form to seduce the ghosts of burial mounds and gain power by starting demonic cultivation" "Shhh! Don't talk so loudly! My cousin knew a man who loudly gossiped about Yilling Matriarch only to be cursed to death the next day"

Visitations, by Vir_Abelasan, rated M

"Wei Ying-" Lan Zhan says, stutters, "I'm sorry."

And now Wei Wuxian sees it, the red rimming Lan Zhan's eyes, the rumpled edges of his blazer. There is an old, familiar urge for him to reach over, to hold Lan Zhan's hand and smooth his hair, to tell him that everything will be fine.

"We're all a bit sorry about this, I think," he says instead, and finds that he means it. For Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and everyone else in that Guanyin temple, the pain must be unbearably fresh, like skin just flayed open. But Wei Wuxian's chest had been cracked open a long time ago, his wounds licked and cauterized and sewn shut over five long years - Ever hurting, but a dull, constant ache, "It's really alright, Lan Zhan."

Five years after being accused of corporate espionage and losing everything, the Guanyin Scandal breaks open and Wei Wuxian finds a familiar face at his door.

Kiss My Wounds, Bless My Scars, by Pegunicent, rated M

When he is sixteen, Lan Wangji makes a choice. He becomes Wei Ying's bride.

Rated T:

the one where Jiang Yanli visits (and she's a fucking goddess), by ShippersList, rated T (part 4 of a series)

Wei Wuxian’s sister was a fucking goddess so it was a travesty she wasn’t being fucked like a goddess deserved.

Luo Qingyang decided to do something about it.

(Also, family feels and some plotting but that's beside the point.)

obscured in the shade of the willow, bathed in the light of the moon, by cloud_wanderer, rated T

Wei Wuxian leaves the Burial Mounds for the first time to attend his martial brother's wedding, and everything changes from there. (a.k.a. a universe in which Nie Huaisang schemes to thwart Jin Guangshan's plans and ends up saving Wei Wuxian and the Wens in the process)

Wei Wuxian meets Xiao Xingchen and helps found a sect in Yiling.

Inchoate, by Marinelifeclub, rated T

“Where would you even go once you left? Wait a few more years before leaving." persuaded Jiang Fengmian,

“Will I live to see that long?” Wei Wuxian whispered under his breath.

Jiang Fengmian felt cold at those words. He always thought his children would be the ones to heal the scars left by their mother on Wei Wuxian, but just the concise way he spoke about them, he knows that wasn’t true. Now his best friend’s son sat in front of him, confessing to not thinking he will live to see himself become a man. Cangse and Changze must be furious in their graves as the sweet smiling son they raised endured pain because of a jealous woman and a cowardly man. Sighing, he did the only thing he could to make things right and accepted the boy’s wishes.

At age 14, Wei Wuxian left Lotus Pier and never looked back.

Wei Wuxian leaves Lotus Pier and while things change something’s are just set in fate.

Here We Go Again, by Alliandra, rated T

He looked over to where the swordswoman was still fighting, but her focus seemed entirely locked onto that fight so it was unlikely that she could have had anything to do with the energy drain. He was still wracking his brain for something else to do to assist, so this thing didn’t kill them both, but now he was feeling weak, dizzy and currently not far from helpless.

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been several months since the events at the Guanyin temple and Wei Wuxian is wandering around on his own. After he helps a stranger kill a very dangerous beast he uncovers what seems to be a conspiracy aimed at ending his life. He heads back to Cloud Recesses with his new companion in tow, looking to get Lan Wanji's help in working out what is involved.

Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling made a surprising discovery under Koi Tower that may well be linked to the threat against Wei Wuxian's life.

Can they all work together to find out what is going on and put a stop to it, before something disastrous occurs?

Nie Huaisang's Ten Steps to Fix The Fucked Up Reality, by cosmic_zephyr (ProudHaikyuuTrash)

1. Find the time travel array in the Nie library 2. Convince (manipulate) Wei Wuxian to use demonic cultivation to activate the array. 3. Transmigrate to the body of your 15-year-old selves with Wei Wuxian and Survive his wrath. 4. Come up with yet another exaggerated, slightly concerning, plan to save Lotus Pier, Dafan Wens and your brother. 5. Use Empathy to make the Wen siblings side with you in the mess that is soon to come. 6. Kill the main Wen family and make Wen Qing the new leader of Qishan Wen so innocent people are not killed. 7. Annoy the hell out of Lanling Jin just for funsies and also a political statement because Jin Guangshan can suck it. 8 Preferably, just for your own sanity, find a way to kill Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao. 9. Work with Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing to solve the sabre problem of the Nie clan. 10. Live a happy life with your brother alive and the cultivation world not being the huge fucked up mess in your own time-line. P.S. Matchmake the pining pile of disaster and gay aka Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji.

Aka canon divergence where Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian (and Lan Wangji) travel back in time and save the cultivation world.

Deal, by Rahar_Moonfire, rated T

Nie Huaisang wants revenge for his brother. He also wants his friend Wei Wuxian back. Lan Wangji left the Cultivation World after Wei Wuxian's death and hasn't been heard from since. It's a good thing Nie Huaisang has spies everywhere. He has everything he needs to put his plan into motion: the notes, the instructions, the "willing body," and the patience to pull it all off.

Now he just needs to be sure Wei Wuxian survives long enough to pick up Nie Huaisang's bread crumbs, solve the puzzle, and shatter the Cultivation World again. The only person suitable for that job is Black Jade of Yiling, the husband of the infamous Yiling Patriarch, Lan Wangji.

Rated G:

Hadn't gone as I planned, by hamlets_ghost, rated G (part of a series)

Lan Xichen leaves the Cloud Recesses with Wei Wuxian and Wangji to meet his mother.

He cannot stay.

[continuation of 'Hold on to your heart']

[stomp-that-ho-regard]

I typically don’t do asks (I've only ever gotten a few), but a recent one got my gears turning and I wanted to reply.

(This is a secondary blog, so I can’t answer asks in the usual way.)

Your post about the retcon is so fucking good, I wish every critter saw it and actually thought about how shitty it was done, but then their belief in the cast and show would probably start cracking.

Thank you for liking the retcon post. I’ve seen various people in the tags thank me for making that post and have said that it’s helped them ‘feel less insane’. None of us are insane. We are not delusional. We didn’t experience a mass hallucination. These things happened, and they’ve been thoroughly documented. Hundreds of hours of material over the course of three years.

The people who should read that post won’t ever see it because I have all those assholes blocked lol. If they did manage to find it somehow, I know they would just mock it, as they’re wont to do with any of our criticisms. They’re so far up CR’s ass, they’ve convinced themselves that a retcon didn’t happen. Even shoving the literal definition of the word in their faces wouldn’t wake them up.

It's just so fucking weird to see how the group is acting now, and I'm pretty sure we're never gonna get a Laura&Marisha episode picture and a TM episode with those 2 for the rest of the campaign. It feels like when a non-canon wlw ship gets big on a TV show and suddenly the actresses can't be seen or interact with each other anymore🙄 it's the same fucking pattern and like you, I thought I wouldn't have to deal with this on a d&d show.

I specifically want to address the “It feels like when a non-canon wlw ship gets big on a TV show and suddenly the actresses can't be seen or interact with each other anymore” because I’ve thought about that pattern too. (Not so much with Marisha/Laura ‘cause them being on TM together is already a rare combo. If they don’t appear much or at all going forward, I don’t think it’s because of this, though it really wouldn’t surprise me. But, I have been thinking about that specific pattern in regard to their characters.)

I can make a comparison between this situation and what happened with the show A/gent Carter and the way the ship Cart/inelli was handled.

I know that might sound weird, but stay with me here lol...

I want to make it clear that I’m not comparing the relationships at all. Cart/inelli did not have nearly the same amount of build-up and depth as Beaujester, (or quite frankly, their level of possibility.) What I am comparing is the creators over-the-top reactions to these characters being shipped so hard and the extreme measures they went to in order to ‘remedy’ that.

The ship included P/eggy Carter and A/ngie Martinelli. The show was set in New York. Angie was a waitress (who wanted to be an actress/be on Broadway) at the diner that Peggy frequented. They ended up talking quite a bit and became fairly close. That ended up kind of becoming the core relationship in the entire first season, and LOTS of people started shipping it.

At the time, no one was calling us crazy or delusional. At most it was, “This is ABC! They’re not gonna pair her with a woman!” and of course the obligatory “But Peggy’s not gay!”. But no one was calling us names or being generally cruel. And anyone who tried it was ignored because everyone else drowned them out. The ship became extremely popular on Tumblr and Twitter. Both actresses were very positive and supportive. They regularly liked/retweeted romantic Cart/inelli fanart on Twitter. Even one of the female writers on the show got behind it too. It was asked about frequently at conventions and no one booed or rolled their eyes. The questions were never dismissed or made into a joke. (Honestly, this was one of the better overall fandom experiences I’ve had on here.)

And all of us were super excited for S2. Not just because of all the support, but because they had ended S1 with Peggy and Angie moving in together. Peggy had purchased, either it was a really fancy apartment or house (my memory is fuzzy on this), and she literally asked Angie to stay with her. Needless to say, that fueled the flames even more.

But despite the actresses and at least one writer being on board, between S1 and S2, something shifted.

Clearly, the showrunner and/or the execs, took a look at all of this and deemed it a ‘problem’. When S2 finally came around, suddenly everything was different. Instead of both of them living together in New York, instead of it being an organic (I’m beginning to hate that word) continuation from where they left off, Peggy decided to move to Los Angeles to do work for some agency out there or something, and Angie stayed in New York. It’s never explained why. It’s never explained why a woman who so badly wanted to be an actress would NOT want to go to LA, where Hollywood is. LA was never mentioned in S1. There were no hints that Peggy might want to fly out to the West Coast at some point. She seemed perfectly happy in NY, basically setting up house with Angie.

And they didn’t even ease into the change. They just got rid of the character. The actress was bummed about it and Cart/inelli fans tried to put pressure on the showrunner/writers to bring Angie back, which the actress completely supported, but even that fell on deaf ears. So, Angie was simply no longer an entity on that show. Conveniently removed. All the excitement we had was crushed. And of course, the second that Peggy got out to LA, she suddenly had a very obvious male love interest. What a surprise.

The showrunner/writers were not subtle about what they thought about our ship and us. They made the most extreme, nonsensical writing decision in order to permanently separate these two characters. Because, hey, that’s the only way to get the shippers to STOP, right?

This was what I was reminded of when I started seeing the turn that post-hiatus CR was taking. It ended up being a weird combination of kneejerk erasure (BJ) and heavy-handed overcompensation (BY).

But of course, CR is not a TV show, it’s D&D. And they can’t force one of their PCs to just disappear, so what do they have to resort to? Not interacting.

We all know how severely neutered Beau and Jester’s general relationship has become. It’s clear to me that both Marisha and Laura felt they had to do that. They had to suddenly have their characters stay away from each other as much as possible so they could prioritize Fjord and Yasha, and speed-run into romances with them. They started acting as if either of them giving the other one ounce of affectionate attention (like they had been doing so often and so naturally before), would be breaking some sort of hidden ‘relationship code’. Almost like if they ever hugged again, the studio would go down in flames.

The very obvious fact that they went to these lengths, to me, proves two things...

One, it proves the retcon even more, because you can tell that the way they behaved with each other DID in fact change. The frequency of interactions and the way those interactions would play out. Whenever they interact now, it seems like they’re trying to keep it as short, thin, and almost comedic (to the point of goofiness, and not in a good way) as possible. Their engagement seems half-assed and dull. The sounds of their voices, their facial expressions... completely sanitized. Even all the physicality they had is gone; the touches, the hugs, the cuddling. Every single aspect is different and they absolutely did that intentionally. This had to happen because they needed to dupe the viewers into believing that despite overall interest waning, their threadbare connections to Fjord and Yasha are more important, and were always more important then their connection to each other, that we all watched them steadily build. (And watched them pick up steam from about ep70 onwards.)

And two, that whole intentional decision to cut themselves off from each other, proves to me that their interactions pre-hiatus were indeed tinged with ‘something extra’, that was more than just friendship. They both recognized it and that’s why they pulled back so hard. That’s why soft touches and hugs and cuddling are no longer ‘allowed’. That’s why quiet, heartfelt conversations are no longer ‘allowed’. Because if there was absolutely nothing there, if they didn’t see/feel any romantic chemistry simmering underneath, and it was all just platonic BFF stuff, why would they suppress their behavior so drastically?

I think that all of this really does cement what I said in my retcon post: That there are disingenuous patterns being used here that I’ve seen far too often in media. In A/gent Carter, it was a character separation, in CR it was a character dynamic separation. Both done on purpose, to make the shippers shut up, and to push a different plot.

One is scripted, the other is unscripted, but the situations feel disgustingly similar, don’t they?

[sheron-c]

XiSang Fic Recs

I haven’t seen any rec lists floating about, so for the XiSang Week 2020 challenge - Day 7 - Free choice, I wanted to create a rec list of my personal favourites for Nie Huaisang/Lan Xichen ship. There’s actually a lot of stories that are great and I don’t want to duplicate the entire ship tag, so these are just the top 10 that I found super enjoyable: 1.  My Heart is a Saber by peskyjellyfish (~11k)

Summary: Huaisang is on his way to Xinglu Ridge when he gets sidetracked. Rec: This is the fic that gave me everything I wanted to read about them post-canon. Nie Huaisang is angry and damaged, Lan Xichen is hurt and curious, and they find the kind of hope in despair that can only be found together. 2.  come and find me (lying in the bed i made) by ImaginationCake  @demonic-cultivar​ (~22k)

Summary: After Jin Guangyao dies, Nie Huaisang is ready to enjoy his life free from the burden of revenge plots and subterfuge. But his decisions have resulted in a deep guilt that he can't shake, and he struggles to stay afloat with no one left to support him. To top it off, he finds himself tangled up in politics that he really couldn't care less about.What he does care about is Lan Xichen's opinion of him, but Lan Xichen won't even look at him anymore. Nie Huaisang can only hope that his life doesn't get any worse. Rec: The fic that got me into this ship! ♡ I did of course come to AO3 looking for more NHS & LXC content immediately after watching the Untamed. After seeing that ending scene with their conversation on the Temple’s steps I wanted more, but I wasn’t sure it was a romantic ship for me until I read this story. It’s got everything, a kidnapping, a rescue and a bad case of feelings :D 3.  A Skilled Tactician is the Jewel of a Kingdom by Hypatia3 (~50k, WIP) Summary: During the Sunshot Campaign, Nie Huaisang wants to help despite his terrible sword skills. But there are other things he's good at, and nobody can say his mind is weak. But nobody has to know.After all, he wants to go back to his life of general uselessness after the war is over, and Nie Mingjue would never allow it if he saw a single sign of competence from him.But this has consequences that he didn't expect. Rec: One of the absolute best stories in this fandom when it comes to Nie Huaisang’s characterization -- he’s clever and yet so very Huaisang, in such a believable way that *hands* I can’t explain how much satisfaction I get out of reading and rereading this story. Honourable mention:  A Decisive Victory by Hypatia3 (~24k, WIP) Summary: When Jin Guangyao acts against the Nie Sect a little earlier, Nie Huaisang ends up in over his head as acting sect leader. But he has a responsibility and a duty to his sect. His brother is counting on him until he recovers.Or Nie Huaisang loses his temper, starts a war, and impresses a lot of people along the way. Rec: This is not marked XiSang, and is a divergence from the earlier Tactician story (around chapter 7) but it’s such fun to read and Huaisang’s interactions with Lan Xichen are top notch, so I can’t help mentioning it here.

4.  from tomb to tomb by @the-pretzel​  (~16k)

Summary: It's a lot easier to get truth out of someone, even one with a very good reason to lie, when they're drunk. Or, five times Nie Huaisang was drunk and once it was Lan Xichen's turn instead. Rec: Written to capture moments over the years during the course of the show, as Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang dance around each other, this story is absolutely beautiful and vivid. I can still see the scenes of the story pop up in my head like drawings, of Lan Xichen walking in on semi-hungover Nie Huaisang and the sheer tension between them enough to keep you breathlessly reading.

Honourable mention:  when i'm reborn by @the-pretzel (~1.1k)

Summary:  Nie Huaisang's daemon settles the day he finds out what Jin Guangyao has done. (His Dark Materials fusion) Rec: A very short, very lovely daemon AU, which I’m definitely reading as XiSang :)

5.  What I had to do by @ibijau​ (~20k) Summary:  After three years in seclusion, Lan Xichen gets an unexpected guest he would rather have avoided. Yet when he learns that Nie Huaisang is dying from a curse, he is forced to confront his guilt toward Jin Guangyao's fate and the people his sworn brother hurt. Rec: I’d say this is a fandom classic, so you’ve probably read it already :D But, one of my favourite things about this story is the way it captures Nie Huaisang running away from emotions, and Lan Xichen being selfless when it comes to those he cares about. 6.  gather jewels from graveyards by LuckyDiceKirby (~15k) Summary: Nie Huaisang stole happiness from Lan Xichen. He stole peace. If he could just see him, and see for himself exactly what he’s done, and know—that will be enough. Then he’ll be able to paint again, and his hands won’t shake as he does it, and he’ll remember why he ever in his life bothered to put brush to ink to paper. After all, a man should have to live with his mistakes. There is no other way to learn from them. His brother believed that. Rec: One of the first stories I read for this ship and so well done! This is one where Nie Huaisang feels very guilty, and who doesn’t enjoy reading that? Nie Huaisang comes to the Hanshi to make amends, and doesn’t go away when Lan Xichen won’t see him.

7.  When the world is cold (I will feel a glow) by @marsdiogenes (~3k)

Summary: Xichen is trying very hard to get his crush to notice him, but gallery curator Nie Huaisang has a job to do and would appreciate it if Lan Xichen's beautiful face would stop for a moment so he can focus. Mingjue just wants to have a nice, quiet family dinner and for everyone to respect his efforts.

Rec: I don’t normally go for Modern AUs for this ship, but this was so fun and sexy! Also Nie Mingjue’s knowing reaction is :3 8.  to embrace doubt by fensandmarshes, Fleetling, idendreams, medievalfantasyqueen, space_enjolras, sxnshot (blasphemyincarnate)

Summary: Five times people thought they understood Nie Huaisang + one time someone admitted they didn’t - a collaborative, semi-chronological character study of Nie Huaisang through other characters’ eyes. Rec: Okay, it’s technically not marked shippy, but you tell me that someone who thinks about Nie Huaisang the way Lan Xichen does in this story, in the chapter that’s from his pov can possibly not love him, and I won’t believe it. The lyrical prose is the best description in a paragraph I’ve ever read of Nie Huaisang.

9.  Love of my life, I hate you by Ibijau (~126k) Summary:  With Qishan Wen growing ever more powerful and menacing, QInghe Nie and Gusu Lan decide to cement a firm alliance between their sects through a marriage between their children. Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang are less than thrilled to learn this, but nobody is asking for their opinion anyway Rec: At first, I wasn’t sold on Lan Xichen being so thoughtless in his treatment of Nie Huaisang as a child and mostly wanted to smack him, but damn if the later events don’t make up for it, make him grow up, and turn the tables around. :D This story is utterly satisfying to read, like one of those novels that give your Id everything you want, eventually. I love slow burn and this is that in spades! So much fun, I’ve re-read parts of it multiple times already.

Honourable mention: Ibijau has so many interesting XiSang stories, like the one where Jin Rusong survives and Nie Huaisang ends up raising him (Second Chances For First Time Villains), and the one where Lan Wangji and Nie Huaisang, both in love with someone else, make a marriage match and solve crimes together ( We can light a match and burn it down), the god!LXC AU, and many others. Check them out! And finally,

10.  Chapter 95: LXC finds out about JGY and tells NHS,  from MDZS short fics by nirejseki ( @robininthelabyrinth) (~1k) Summary:  In that AU where LXC pretends to be LWJ and discovers NMJ's head, what if he went on a quest to put the body of his old friend together and along the way accidentally ran into NHS who's on the same mission. And they realize the other knows! Rec: Nirejseki writes a lot of great Nie brothers content, and this is one short story that can arguably turn into XiSang in the future. The possibilities of this AU make it so exciting, I had to include it on the list even though NHS and LXC only talk and nothing else happens.  ...Okay, that was more than ten fics here, but can you blame me? 😍 I love these two together. And with the XiSang week running we have so much new stuff!

[ravnicaforgoblins]

Ravnica for Goblins

More Awesome NPCs of Ravnica

NPCs are one of the most important tools in a DM’s campaign. Your assorted guards, informants, bartenders, hench-persons, random civilians, and, of course, your quest-givers. Optimistically, you hope to have certain NPCs stick around for a while to have the party build a relationship with them, as opposed to getting murder-hobo-ed because your party doesn’t like their attitude. Which is why it’s so great that Ravnica is filled with cool NPCs who are definitely stronger than your party (for a while)!

A couple notes; I already did a list of Awesome NPCs, focusing on the Ladies of Ravnica, so this time I thought I’d try and give the boys (and Melek) some spotlight. Secondly, as I’ve by now made annoyingly apparent, I’m focusing on characters in the modern era of Ravnica, i.e. after the Decamillennial, because everything before the Decamillennial is a nightmare to figure out and you don’t need that headache.

Tajic, Blade of the Legion

You can’t have the Boros without Tajic. Well, you can, but you don’t want to. Tajic is the Legion’s Champion as well as their Mazerunner, and embodies all the ideals the Legion stands for. Unity, strength, passion; an unbreakable shield against all who would threaten Ravnica’s citizens. He is technically considered a Firefist, but special considerations should be made to give him the flavor he really deserves. Both of Tajic’s MTG cards have had some manner of protection against damage when involving other creatures. In addition, Firefists are actually primarily spellcasters, whereas Tajic is never seen without a blade in his hand or his name. So, to sum up, take a Firefist, add in some manner of damage resistance or even immunity contingent upon having allies present, throw in a weapon trick or two for his big wavy sword, and ta-da! You’ve got Tajic!

Momir Vig, Simic Visionary

I know I said no pre-Decamillennial, but Momir Vig is a special case. Technically, the former Guildmaster is dead, but the shadow of his reign still lingers over the Simic Combine. Momir Vig symbolizes everything Ravnica fears about the Combine; progress without restraint. Vig’s cytoplasts were oozes designed for personalized evolution in subjects to correct flaws and deficiencies (regrowing lost limbs, bolstering weakened immune systems, extra brain cells, etc). The only problem is that the project worked so well that Vig stopped seeing the need for consent, creating a new form of cytoplast that only needs to touch a host to bond with it. This raised some understandable concerns among Ravnican citizens, as well as the other Guilds. These concerns went to 11 when Vig’s Project Kraj, a gargantuan organism composed of thousands of cytoplasts, was activated to purge Ravnica and start over with a fresh slate. They went to a further 12 when Vig was killed, Project Kraj summoned every cytoplasm back to it (maiming, crippling, or killing a large number of hosts), and proceeded to go on a rampage that only ended after it ate Rakdos and went into a coma.

Momir Vig is exactly the kind of mad scientist to escape the grave, go underground, and continue his research unimpeded until it’s ready. A Rogue Guildmaster with no boundaries, or as we like to call it, a ready-made Big Bad.

Melek, Izzet Paragon

As with Vig, Melek is canonically dead, but that sort of “dead” that could conceivably be temporary if the story requires it. Melek is a Weird designed by Niv-Mizzet himself to be the Izzet Mazerunner. A certain sparkmage had other ideas however, so he absorbed the sentient being of pure elemental energy into himself at the start of the Maze and took its place, then tried to shock the other runners to death because, you know, winning. But following the physics principle that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only changed into a different form, it’s believable that Melek could return someday. Probably with a grudge against said sparkmage. Melek is a fascinating build, combining high-level spellcasting with complete elemental resistance or possibly even immunity. Basically, a wizard who can tank. Even more intriguing, any lab run by a being composed of pure energy would be calibrated to channel said energy, possibly allowing short-range teleportation within said lab. This is a brilliant exercise in lair mechanics, so don’t hold back. Lest we forget Melek is a personal project of the Firemind, aka, the single most brilliant, powerful, and egocentric fire-breathing ancient dragon wizard in Ravnican history.

Tomik Vrona, Distinguished Advokist

Given the Orzhov Syndicate’s seeming fascination with being a faceless hierarchy of priests, lawmages, ghosts, tax collectors, etc; it’s nice to have another face with a name. Tomik Vrona is a lawmage who apprenticed under Teysa Karlov herself, making him a master of Ravnican law. It also makes him uncharacteristically open to relationships with other Guilds, as he is effectively Teysa’s link to the outside world during her imprisonment. Tomik carries a strong respect for the law, but is a passionate lover of interesting & creative loopholes. In short, he’s not inherently evil/greedy like most of the Syndicate, but still has ambition in spades. He prefers to use gargoyles for transportation, treasures every book he owns, and is canonically dating/living with that hot-tempered sparkmage mentioned previously. Whether the relationship is public or not is up to you. I personally see it as a measure of trust between the NPCs and the party; it’s a pretty controversial pairing of Guilds. It could even be a Romeo & Juliet (Julio?) kind of affair, just putting that out there.

Vorel of Hull Clade

If Momir Vig represents the dark side of the Simic Combine’s experiments, Vorel represents the infinite possibility they can offer. A former Gruul shaman, he made the decision to give up a piece of his clan’s territory to a Boros Legion garrison to better fortify their home turf, and was nearly killed when they turned on him for perceived cowardice. Vorel escaped and joined the Combine, where he was given Merfolk traits and an environment that embraced his ideas & strategic thinking. Vorel is extremely grateful to his new Guild, and believes himself to be an example of how anything is possible through the Simic, no matter one’s origins. His strong passion & drive have led to great breakthroughs, but he’s definitely more emotionally-driven than most Simic researchers. Here is a Biomancer that isn’t afraid to get dirty or bloody in combat. This could be a fun experiment in crafting a Simic Melee Weapon.

Tolsimir Wolfblood, Ledev Guardian

You know that one leader elf in fantasy stories who everyone else takes orders from but never fights themselves? Yeah, this isn’t that elf. This is what you wish that elf was, a warrior archer who leads his soldiers into battle atop a giant dire wolf and kicks some serious ass. The Ledev are Selesnya’s elite mounted force, skilled fighters, archers, swordsmen, and even spellcasters. They are the cavalry, the breaking dawn on Hornburg, the “oh shit” in an enemy’s mouth. Please don’t make the mistakes of countless fantasy novels by being on bad terms with such badass warriors. Having any member of the Ledev behind you should be a boost to the party’s courage & resolve. Having Tolsimir fight alongside you should be one of the greatest honors of your life. The chance to finally recreate that “besties” relationship between Legolas & Gimli as you see who can kill the most enemies in battle.

Domri Rade, City Smasher

I hesitate to include Domri, I genuinely do. He’s a scraggly little punk who nearly brought about the destruction of the Gruul (and all of Ravnica) ultimately because he was too weak and too stupid. I include him here out of respect for the lore, but you can honestly do better. Domri Rade was considered too small & weak for any Gruul clan, so he instead bonded with the savage animals of the Rubblebelt, eventually discovering he could incite them into stampedes at will. This new power finally granted him admission into Borborygmos’ own Burning Tree Clan, but he panicked during the burial rite of passage and planeswalked away for the first time. Eventually he learned to control his powers, returned to the Rubblebelt, challenged Borborygmos for leadership of the Burning Tree clan, and won by sending wave after wave of stampeding boars to trample the cyclops Guildmaster. He was enlisted by Nicol Bolas to help destroy Ravnica, and failed to realize that meant him too as an eternal ripped out his Planeswalker Spark, killing him. Domri Rade is basically a cheap knockoff of Garruk Wildspeaker, only smaller and weaker and dumber and infinitely less dangerous. He is, however, considered by many to be an omen of the End-Raze, heralding the return of the Boar God Ilharg and the burning down of Ravnica by the Gruul who follow the Old Ways. So maybe play up that angle if you include him in your campaign.

Ral Zarek, Izzet Viceroy

If you only include one NPC from any of my lists in your Ravnica campaign, you must include Ral Zarek. Failing to do so is denying your players the opportunity to interact with the single coolest character in Ravnica. He beats out Vraska for the sole reason that he’s a much more public & accessible figure than the Gorgon Assassin, and an unexpected encounter with him is significantly less likely to end in your death/petrification. Between his good looks, cocky grin, brilliant mind, and lightning powers that put Thor to shame; Ral is certain to make any situation more interesting. He’s a great contact to have within the Izzet, a brilliant researcher, extremely talented with designing gadgets or magic items, an astonishingly powerful magic user, and a fun guy to hang around with. He can definitely have a temper on him, so understand when to back away. Hint: His hair turns from black to white when his electromancy powers are activating. You’ll also probably notice the sounds of static discharge building up around him, perhaps a faint smell of ozone, crackling energy coming from his gauntlet, and, oh yeah, his eyes glow and his smile turns into a growling grimace of death as he fills you with lightning. Whether by design or accident, Ral is basically the mascot for Ravnica, and it’s almost unthinkable for him to be absent from a campaign set there.

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Disaster Bisexuals ~ R.C. (part 1)

A/n: Haha short little series because I’m simping for this bitch HARD. Male reader as usual yaaaaaaay

Word Count: 5200+

Masterlist

Being Jack Morton's best friend was starting to be the worst decision Y/n had ever made. Jack respected Y/n's refusal to be part of the Order but when Jack got attacked by a werewolf and went to investigate, of course Y/n was brought along.

They had always been a team. Jack had a very strong sense of right and wrong, tending to protect the people he cared about with a passion that Y/n found refreshing. On the other side, Y/n had a reputation for being a very cold, reserved person. People used to mock him for being a sociopath, using his intense curiosity and how he was so slow to trust or care as reasoning, even if all it had ever been was an effort to protect himself. In fact, once he does care about someone there was absolutely nothing he wouldn't put himself in front of to protect them. As it turns out, he cared so much that it often caused him, forcing him to be cautious who he handed out his heart to.

Y/n was incredibly smart, Jack just as resourceful. With their combined minds, Jack's good instinct, and Y/n's terrible luck on always finding himself in just the place to put him as direct danger as possible, they ended up getting things pretty well figured out in the end.

So when Jack went into the woods chasing down a werewolf of all things, of course Y/n came along. It was only once they got to the house that Jack's instincts kicked in. "We cannot go in there."

Y/n looked at him like he was an idiot. "Are you kidding? We came all this way and you're just going to leave?" It was Y/n's one weakness. The reason he always found himself inches from death. He was, above everything else, curious. Once he'd caught the scent of something he thought was really interesting or cool, he couldn't be turned off from it until he figured out every question he had. When he rarely ever ran out of questions, you can imagine how far he ended up going before he’d even consider stopping.

Well, if Y/n was going in so was Jack. "Fine. Lead the way."

In the very front, bouncing on his toes with eagerness, Y/n blazed a trail that was far too fast for Jack's liking. They actually made it into the house and to the weird door with the creepy staircase leading down to a basement that looked like one of those places that was built specifically for things to go wrong at. Jack could feel the horror movie energy so strong he could almost hear the soundtrack.. Jack caught Y/n's arm. "We are NOT going down there. We're leaving. NOW."

It was then that Y/n looked behind them as he was pulled short. There, was a full fledged werewolf hulking in the doorframe. Y/n locked gazes with the thing and his eyes widened. "Jack, look out!" He pulled Jack forward, launching himself toward the wolf as it attack. Thankfully Jack tripped and tugged Y/n back, causing the claws of the beast to rip up his back instead of his chest. The wolf seemed so shocked that it actually took a step back- just in time for Jack and Y/n to nearly topple down the stairs and get into the room in the basement. Jack pulled them into a second back room that had an alter and a bunch of chests. Even sketchier than the book room that they'd had to go through. Even sketchier than the basement staircase that was made for things to go wrong at. This is where people came to die.

Y/n, ever loyal to his role in the story, was indeed dying.

Unlike the countless other times they’d both found themselves a little too close to danger for it to be comfortable, this time Y/n was badly hurt and bleeding. Heavily. Not even shock could keep him going much longer as his heart raced and he lost blood even faster. "What are we going to do?" Y/n whispered, hearing the wolf from before banging against the door again and again. They had no way to get out - no windows or other exists - and Y/n was already paling. He would die here and then the wolf would kill Jack when the door was finally busted through.

Before Jack could get them out of this predicament like he always did, both boys' attention was dragged away from the door. Two chests had moved, turning on their side without prompting from the boys or anyone else. The lids opened. Hopped up on adrenaline and with too much going on to think straight, they stepped forward to investigate.

They weren’t kidding when they say that curiosity killed the cat.

They weren’t dead at least... but they were immediately swallowed in fur so that had to count for something.

Long story short: Greybeard chose Jack and Midnight - popularly referred to as "canon fodder" - chose Y/n.

Things only got more complicated from there, but Y/n seemed to be adapting to it a lot better. He had chosen his side. He had played a lot of d&d in his time and this felt like one of those campaigns; he was part of something really important. More importantly, he was learning about something really cool. For every answer he got he had three more questions and with a bit of reading he could answer every single one. He took it upon himself to read each and every book the wolves had that he could, learning more and more every day. He never ran out of things to learn, even being able to get new information if he’d already read the book. In fact, the more times he read something the more he realized he was missing. It was curiosity’s playground!

While Jack flew off the wall and was constantly almost dying, and everyone else debated whether both boys were worth trusting, all Y/n Did was learn. At first they were hesitant around Y/n as he was close to Jack (who was constantly going back and forth on loyalties, even if he came through in the end) but... well, all Y/n did was read endlessly, ask unending questions, and answer the call for help when needed. His curiosity was a little annoying at times but mostly harmless. He was dependable. More importantly, he was loyal. He’d meant that oath, and it showed with just how compatible he was with Midnight. It didn’t take the others long to trust him.

His trustworthiness really came through when he used his knowledge to find a book Jack vaguely alluded to being in the library. Hamish had gotten hurt and whatever weapon had been used, the wound wasn’t healing. It was in fact rapidly getting very very bad. Y/n was able to navigate the shelves in just a few minutes, whipping up the salve and taking care of Hamish when Lilith and Randall were clueless and Jack was distracted by something to do with the Order.

Y/n saved Hamish’s life, even when Jack was struggling and had been suffering without Y/n’s usual participation. That was all they needed from Midnight’s new host.

Ironically, Y/n had been trying very hard not to get attached. He was trying to stay here for Jack, and for all he was learning, not the people who had started to look to him for information and smiled at him when he delivered. Not the people that gave him nicknames and memorized his favorite alcohol combinations and walked to class with him and studied with him and talked endless shit like normal friends do, and listened to him rant in turn.

That had always been Y/n's biggest weakness, though. Werewolves and magic? Easy. Becoming a champion for said werewolves and being thrown into a world he had not signed up for? Fine. Almost dying to get chosen as a champion? Whatever! Not getting attached to the people who were quickly becoming his family... and, more importantly the pretty boy who seemed to be the biggest dork ever?

God help Y/n's heart.

Above everything else, it was Randall Carpio that was making Y/n's life a living hell.

While Jack went off about Alyssa whatever-her-face and Edward (he listened more to the parts about Jack's dad because he knew Jack needed someone to hear that) Y/n couldn't help but relate in a way that he'd never related to Jack before. See, the problem with joking that someone is a sociopath is that they start to think about it. Consider it. Believe it even. Y/n had never had feelings like this for anyone before.

He knew he found people attractive. He could appreciate that Jack had really pretty eyes and a nice jaw line. He could appreciate that Alyssa's smile was bright and her voice had a soothing tone to it. He could appreciate that Hamish was really sexy in that "I'm in charge and know what I'm doing, I dare you to defy me" top kind of way. In the same way, he knew that Lilith was gorgeous and powerful and could see why someone might be attracted to her. Aside from appreciation or aesthetic admiration though, Y/n didn't catch feelings. If he found someone attractive, he had sex with them. Then it wouldn't pan out and he would move on.

It never panned out.

Obviously.

Randall was... different.

Randall made Y/n feel stupid.

Like that one time Jack tripped and fell into a creek and almost drowned and Y/n and jumped in after him. It had been rainy season so the water was high and rushing. It would have been better to get a tree branch or look for somewhere to catch Jack. Whatever it was, anything would have been smarter than jumping in so they were both disoriented by the chaos in the current. Jack almost pulled Y/n under in an effort to get air. Only by a miracle had Y/n been able to think clearly just enough to catch something so Jack could pull them both to shore. THAT level of stupid, that had him between Jack and a fucking werewolf and inches from death because of a claw wound on his back. The kind of stupid that had lead them into that house to begin with.

Randall made Y/n feel giddy. Every time the brunette was around Y/n's energy levels skyrocketed. He could never sit still and his old stutter he’d sword was dealt with ago resurfaced far too much, making him cringe and go silent a lot because he didn't want to hear it. Randall made a joke and Y/n laughed every time. Every time they got close or brushed, Y/n was hyper aware of it. In fact, Y/n was consistently hyper aware of Randall no matter where he was. Y/n had never had a problem with nudity before he got naked in front of Randall and suddenly he couldn't breathe.

As time passed, Y/n got used to dealing with his emotions. He had never had to hide anything like this from anyone before but no one had said anything so he was pretty sure he had kept it under control. If Jack knew he wouldn't have stopped teasing Y/n about it, and surely Randall at the very least would have said something if he knew? Or at least flirted with less people, one could hope.

Speaking of, Randall flirted with SO MANY PEOPLE. He was constantly talking about how attractive everyone was and if he saw a chance to make a move, he did. It was driving Y/n insane. He found himself avoiding Randall, doing his homework in his room and trying to ignore his roommate. Or in the basement again, reading books and memorizing things that he thought might be useful- like the concoction that had cured Hamish. He read and reread and learned. Between school and this whole new world of magic and trying to help Jack get his shit together, Y/n stayed busy and kept his grades up. With all the shit being thrown at him, he was feeling proud of himself and better than he had in a long time. He was thriving.

Then Randall began hovering. No matter how much Y/n tried to avoid him, Randall was there anyway. Whether Y/n was studying and Randall came over, claiming the others were being annoying and he hated studying alone, or he was in the basement reading when Y/n was, or he was asking Y/n for some thing or another, or even dragging Y/n out for drinks and hang outs that Y/n really tried to not enjoy...

Randall was insatiable.

One day Y/n grabbed a book from the basement library and Randall claimed he wanted to read it. When Y/n handed it over, Randall continued to ask if Y/n could read it out loud instead because Randall couldn't actually understand the text. Latin, which Y/n had for sure seen him read before. And it didn’t stop there! If Y/n ever sat anywhere that could fit two people, Randall sat with him. If Y/n found himself playing with his food, Randall stole some with that stupid grin on his face. If Y/n wanted to do something in his spare time, Randall found a way to be a part of it. If Y/n was engaged in a conversation but not saying anything, Randall would ask his opinion like they were in a class discussion and got extra points for including quiet kids. Y/n began to wonder if Randall was as touchy with the others as he was with Y/n. Randall was ALWAYS touching him.

The sudden change was freaking Y/n out. He felt flustered and unsure and embarrassed and confused constantly. He wasn't sure what was going on or how to handle it. How do you solve a problem when you don't now what the problem even is? Or if it was a problem at all...

Jack made it even worse.

"Will you stop flirting?" Y/n's heart stopped when Jack said it, unsure where it had come from or why.

Randall looked at Jack with an eyebrow raised. "And why would I do that?" He hadn’t lost his cool in the slightest, and if his smirk said anything it seemed he had even enjoyed Jack’s outburst.

Jack rolled his eyes. "You're making Y/n uncomfortable. He won't say it because he doesn't want to offend you, but I've known Y/n basically our whole lives and he's never liked anyone before. Just leave him alone."

Jack meant well. He did, Y/n knew that. But Y/n felt the stares of his childhood. The people that would laugh and poke fun and tease. Call him heartless. Ask him what it was like to be broken- to not like anyone. Girls who hated him because he didn't return the feelings they had. Boys who tormented him because everyone accused him of being gay and closeted. Teachers who did that generalized "leave him alone, he's just different than you guys" like being different wasn't the single worst thing you could be when you were a kid in a small town.

The realization that Jack thought Y/n was incapable of liking anyone crossed his mind and it was too much. Maybe Y/n hadn't really been coping well. He'd taken everything one step at a time, carefully and on purpose like he always did. But he was hurting and struggling, especially with this new emotion that effected him so deeply. An emotion he hadn't experienced until now. And, magic? Fucking MAGIC?

Y/n felt his eyes water and locked gazes with Randall for a second before he turned and left the room.

He didn't cry. Y/n didn't cry. It wasn't a thing he could control, he just didn't ever really cry. He might shed a few tears, but even that was rare. He just wasn't capable of really crying. It had always made him feel too vulnerable and awkward, but topped with the accusations of being emotionless, on top of the pressure to hold it together as a man, AND all the teasing he’d gone through in his childhood? Yeah, no. The thought that emotion could be so much and so strong that your body couldn't physically hold it in anymore made Y/n feel icky all on it’s own. So he didn't.

He did that day.

The next day was the next time he heard from anyone. Y/n got a text from Jack saying the pack was going out for drinks. Randall seemed to have gotten rejected by someone, and with Jack's rockiness with Alyssa right now they were day drinking to get rid of heartbreak or whatever. Y/n didn't go. He wasn't heartbroken after all. It's not like he had lost anything. He had nothing to lose. He still had all the friendships he'd started out with. Besides, even if Randall had been flirting it obviously hadn't meant much to him because a few hours later Y/n was picking them all up after a bar fight had broken out. Well, all of them but Randall - who had disappeared in the middle of it with a random girl.

Randall wasn't back that night when Y/n stayed up late waiting for him. He sat and did an essay that wasn't due for a month just to have an excuse, but it got super late and he got tired and he couldn't rationalize it any more so he went to bed. Randall wasn't back the next day either when Y/n woke up for class. How long did Randall usually stay out with someone he slept with? Did he stay in the morning and cuddle? Give a little kiss after he made breakfast? Did he walk around shirtless, hair a little messy? Did he smile as he flirted? Winked? Hold them from behind, chin on their shoulder and a soft look in his eyes? That was a little fishy, and definitely never anything Y/n had done with his one night stands... maybe Randall was different. Maybe all people who weren’t like Y/n were.

"Y/n?" Hamish was standing there, waving his hand in front of Y/n's face. When they met gazes, Hamish continued, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Y/n laughed sheepishly. It seemed that Hamish had called Y/n quite a few times. "What's up?"

Hamish's expression stayed rather dark, causing Y/n's smile to drop. "Have you seen Randall?"

Y/n's heart stopped in his chest. So Randall still wasn't home, and it wasn't normal. "I haven't, no. Do you think he's in trouble?"

Hamish frowned deeper. "I don't know. Find Jack, will you? He isn't answering my texts or calls. I'll find Lilith."

Y/n stood, nodding, and they parted. Y/n found Jack, of course, coming from a talk with Alyssa. "Why is everyone blowing up my phone?" Jack demanded.

"Randall is missing," Y/n told him. Jack sobered up at hearing that. "Come on." They headed back to the house where Lilith and Hamish were waiting. They discussed before all going separate ways to look for him. Nothing seemed to be giving any hints until Jack brought everyone back. He - to no one's shock and everyone's annoyance - had Alyssa in tow. Thankfully Hamish kept Lilith at bay long enough for Jack to explain how Alyssa could help, because without Alyssa's tracking spell the pack never would have found the weird science facility. They never would have gotten Randall out... even though all the added drama not being involved would have been appreciated.

Y/n didn't hear any of it though. The more danger it was revealed that Randall was in, the more anxious Y/n got. He was so relieved when he saw Randall that he would have done something stupid if not for Lilith rushing forward and hugging him... and then slapping him, adding a, "Never do that again."

Randall scoffed softly. "Missed you too Lil."

Y/n felt eyes on him and looked over to Alyssa. Her eyes moved between Randall and Y/n, her lips curving in a knowing smile. Y/n looked away from her. It didn't matter what she knew- no one would believe her anyway. Randall nodded to Hamish and then passed Y/n with an awkward smile. Y/n opened his mouth to say something but then- he didn't. Randall moved on without noticing and whatever Y/n was going to say was completely lost.

"Everyone back to the Den," Hamish ordered.

"Even her?" Lilith demanded, motioning to Alyssa.

"Especially her," Hamish replied.

Alyssa rolled her eyes. "I could destroy you with a snap of my fingers."

"But you won't." The words tumbled from Y/n threateningly. She met his eyes evenly, accepting his challenge.

"But she can't," Jack corrected lightheartedly, trying to keep the peace. He already had enough of his friends hating Alyssa. If Y/n did, he didn't know what he'd do. "Not yet anyway." They exchanged a smile and Y/n glared. He averted his eyes from the couple that was becoming a pair that was really beginning to bother him. When he locked eyes with Lilith, they smiled with each other. Amidst all the other bullshit it was a nice exchange, especially because Y/n had been struggling to get on Lilith's good side.

"You know as well as I do that we need to talk about this." Hamish's voice was slow and reasonable. No one argued.

They all began to head back to the Den, Y/n catching up with Lilith as they walked. Before Y/n could think of something to say to Lilith, she said something first. "Why won't you talk to him about how you feel?"

Y/n almost tripped. "Talk to who?" He tried to play it off but she shot a look at him and he felt that he had already lost this battle. He sighed but didn't budge.

Lilith rolled her eyes. "You know he feels the same way about you too, right?" Y/n still didn't say anything, and after a while Lilith added, "Usually I'm the quiet one." Y/n did smile at that. Neither spoke until they were almost at the house and Lilith stopped Y/n short, gripping his wrist softly. "I saw how worried you were today. How reckless. And don't think we all don't know why you don't study with us or come drinking or spend time with us ever. I see the way you look at him when he's around. I thought you had a thing for Jack at first which is why it took me so long to say something, but... you're really good. Better than Jack. You're loyal and curious and actually kind fo fun. Coming from someone who hates people, I like you or whatever." She seemed really awkward in this moment of vulnerability and Y/n softened at the effort she was making. "I hate seeing him suffer. I hate to see you suffer too. After what Jack said about you not liking anyone or whatever, Randall won't listen to me. Please-"

"Are you guys coming?" It was Jack. "We all need to be here for this."

The two nodded, letting Jack go inside. "I will," Y/n told Lilith. "Try, at the very least. I've never... before him, I've never liked anyone at all. I don't know how to do this."

Lilith actually laughed. It was a sort of huff, her smile small and slightly sarcastic, but it was still there. "Welcome to the club, Y/n. None of us know how to do this. Least of all people who do it all the time."

They headed inside. Y/n's eyes found Randall immediately. He was surprised to see Randall looking back. They didn't look at each other long- the second they were caught looking they both looked away.

Hamish made drinks. He offered one to each of the people in the room. Randall turned his down. "You never pass up an aprés-kill drink."

"I'm not in the mood," Randall dismissed. Y/n frowned, taking his. He wasn't usually here for this tradition but he wouldn't mind a little alcohol in his system right about now.

"Aprés-kill?" Alyssa asked.

"We all have our traditions," Lilith told her.

"Yeah, we have aprés-kill, and you kill innocent people." The words were accusing. Randall looked at Alyssa directly when he said them. Even Y/n's eyebrows came together in surprise.

Randall was pretty laid back. He was the one who'd talked everyone into letting Jack join. Y/n was there when Randall had stood up for Jack despite everything that was putting the Pack in danger. Because Y/n had vouched for him and because Randall had a good intuition. Because he gave people the benefit of the doubt. Now he seemed like he was about to tear Alyssa’s throat out right then and there. And sure, Randall had never hesitated to kill before but he was almost murder hungry. Actively into it, driven. Craving. It was so unlike him it was startling.

What had happened to him in that lab?

"That was an Order-backed operation?" Alyssa seemed genuinely surprised.

"Doing a bang up job with your undercover work there buddy." This he directed to Jack and Y/n began to get agitated. He had never dealt well with people coming for Jack.

"I have never even seen that guy before." Jack's response was dismissive. He wasn't dealing with the blame game this time.

"No one's blaming you Jack," Hamish assured. Y/n didn't agree with his assessment.

"Hemmings went rogue," Alyssa cut in. "It's the only explanation."

Randall scoffed, "Of course!" He faced Alyssa again. "Because the Order isn't inherently evil."

Alyssa, who had sat down at this point, looked about ready to shoot to her feet and fight Randall right there. "My Order would never sanction that."

"Right," Lilith remarked sarcastically. "They only torture people in a fun way."

Alyssa scoffed and Y/n stepped forward. "Wait what? What do you mean fun way?"

"Oh you didn't hear?" Lilith responded immediately. Eagerly. "The Order tortured Alyssa for information when they thought she knew about us. She didn't give them anything for whatever reason-"

"Her crush on Jack," Y/n said under his breath.

Lilith nodded. Alyssa scooted forward. "Hold on, now torture bothers you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lilith demanded. She had eased at Y/n’s interjection, but now she squared up again and the tension and emotions in the room became that much more tense.

"You're not the least bit curious as to why you were kicked out?" There was an energy suddenly between the two girls and a pause that seemed too long.

Hamish looked between the girls. "Wait, you two know each other?"

Alyssa looked to Jack who spoke next. Whatever he was about to say, the fact that she was too scared to say it herself already had Y/n anxious. "Lilith was in the Order."

"Is that true?" Randall stepped forward and Y/n instinctually moved between them, just in time to catch Randall when he almost launched at Lilith. "HEY!" He sneered the word at Lilith, but when Y/n stopped him he turned his aggression immediately to Y/n without hesitation. "Get off of me!"

"Randall, chill out a little bit." Jack stood, as protective of Y/n as Y/n was of Jack.

Randall stayed away from Lilith only because Y/n wasn't budging. Because of that, he turned on Jack. "If it wasn't for us  you'd be another one of their fucking drones."

Jack was quick to defend. "I thought they were trying to make a difference, do something good."

"It was you who taught us what we know," Y/n reminded. He was trying to remind Randall of what he'd thought before, but it seemed to do more damage than good.

"I never should have made Jack a knight," Randall snarled.

"No you probably shouldn't have," Jack remarked rather bitterly.

Y/n spoke up again. "If he hadn't been a knight, I probably wouldn't have been either. Think of all we've learned since then, and how far we've come despite how rocky things used to be. Aren't you glad you made him a knight? Aren't you glad I'm one?" Randall gave Y/n a look that made his blood freeze in his veins.

Alyssa intervened. "Can we focus?" Y/n was relieved when Randall looked away. His eyes fell to his feet and from behind him he felt Lilith’s hand almost touch him in comfort. He could imagine her face twisted with shock and concern, then shift to uncertainty if her comfort of all of them would be enough as her hand dropped away from where it had been reaching. Alyssa’s voice cut through the racing thoughts bouncing around in Y/n’s skull. "You murdered a high-ranking member tonight. They're going to be coming for you."

"Can we just kill her and get it over with already?" Lilith demanded. Her frustration at seeing all her friends to wound up was getting to her.

"Is that your answer for everything?" Alyssa demanded.

"Yes," Lilith remarked, snarky.

"No one is killing anyone else tonight," Jack ordered.

"You're not the boss, Jack." The room went quiet. Never before had Y/n shut Jack down. For a solid five seconds it was silent and with every single one, the tension and aggravation grew immensely.

Hamish cleared his throat. "He's right Jack. How about you let me call the shots?"

"Can you even make a decision without resorting to Beer Pong?" Lilith snapped.

Y/n's head began swimming. He'd never been good with big groups or emotions or arguing. The voices became distorted a little as he felt his chest squeeze. He wasn't exactly listening. It seemed he'd been out of it far too long but it could have only been a few second when he came back to Alyssa and Lilith, who were chest-to-chest. They had moved around Y/n to get to each other and Lilith's eyes were that statement silver glow. Alyssa had her knife out. Y/n was moving again, this time to get back in between the girls. "Guys calm down."

"It's not your job to protect everyone," Lilith sneered. Whatever Y/n had missed it had made Lilith aggressive enough that even her growing soft spot for him didn’t help ease her aggressiveness in this moment.

"It kind of is," Y/n argued, finding it harder and harder to keep his own cool.

Lilith's lip curled back. "So you're protecting HER?"

"I'm protecting YOU," Y/n responded, getting heated himself. He was tired of this bullshit.

"You don't think I can take her?"

Y/n made a sound in the back of his throat. Had he just growled? "What do you think happens when you kill her Lil? We struggle to be united enough- we'll never get along if she's dead because of you."

"And why should we care about how you or Jack feel?" Randall demanded.

Without hesitation Y/n rounded on Randall. "Because whether you like it or not, we're knights too! And whatever you have against Jack, you have no right to loop me in with him. I've done nothing but protect you guys and teach you guys what you should have already fucking known since day one."

Randall scoffed. "You're only here because Jack is- you said it yourself. You're never around. The only reason you even agreed to stay is because you want to know more about how we work. You don't care about us." Y/n growled again, his hands curling, claws extending.

Jack shot to his feet. "Edward Coventry is my father."

Silence. Dead silence. Even worse than when Y/n had spoken against Jack. Y/n stared at Jack in shock- not because he didn't know, but because he knew how much Jack absolutely did not want to tell anyone. Finally Randall spoke. "You didn't think to tell us that your father-" he spat the word, making Y/n flinch. "-is the leader of the FUCKING ORDER?" He was hysterical and Y/n was alarmed by it. Randall had never been like this before.

"It's none of your business," Jack dismissed.

Y/n stepped up again. He had to stay calm. He had to keep the peace. He didn't want to see anyone in this room dead tonight. Not even Alyssa. "Just calm down okay?"

"Don't fucking touch me." Randall stepped away. "You knew didn't you?"

Y/n frowned. "It wasn't my secret to tell you Randall. That would have been a betrayal of Jack's trust."

"Oh, Jack's trust?" Randall looked like he was ready to murder someone. Even with Y/n’s fluctuating control, Randall was only growing in agitation. "It always is about Jack, isnt it? Is Jack safe? Is Alyssa safe so that Jack can be happy? Are we all getting along so Jack can feel comfy here? Please don't kill Jack, even though he is putting your friends - practically family - at risk. Give Jack time. Jack this. Jack that. God, are you in love with him or something?"

"No!" Jack and Y/n said at the same time, faces twisted with disgust.

Randall scoffed. "I trusted you, man. I trusted both of you. You betrayed me."

"I betrayed you?" Jack finally sounded irritated, rather than tired and bored like before. The tension was getting to him as well. "You turned me into a fucking werewolf!"

"That's a mistake I can fix right now," Randal threatened.

Alyssa stepped up. "Randall, I think whatever Hemmings did to you is still affecting you." Her anger had completely disappeared, exchanged for shock that shone out of wide, analyzing eyes.

"You want to know what they did to me?" Randall demanded, seeming to be losing it a little. He was breathless and fidgety, shifting from foot to foot and looking at everyone sharply. EVERYONE, like he was waiting for even the long time members of his pack to attack him. "They opened my eyes to your bullshit."

"Randall," Hamish warned.

Randall whipped around, breathing sharply and fast. He screamed and ran- Y/n tackled him before he could even get close. Y/n was suddenly underneath Randall as they twisted and fought. Randall punched him once. Twice. Y/n screamed. Everyone was wrestling him and they were saying something but Y/n couldn't hear it with Randall's body squishing his face. He felt a hit- to Randall, though Y/n felt the impact through him, and then when Randall's body went limp. It was Lilith who pulled him out from underneath the now unconscious boy.

The second he was free, Y/n scrambled to his feet. "God I hate it here!" He screamed, tears rolling down his face. "I'm never like this. This stupid wolf!" He punched the wall and everyone jumped back. Jack was the first one to recover. He had seen Y/n like this once before. "I'm always... Putting myself in danger for you idiots and none of you even care!" His eyes fell to Randall and he took in a sharp breath. "You still don't care about me." That stopped Jack dead. Y/n looked at all of their faces. Those who knew, and those who were realizing, and those who had suspected and were now being confirmed. Y/n looked at those faces and he felt his heart twist in his chest.

He turned and ran and he didn't look back once, even when Jack called after him.