#of course she was the one panicking
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brazilian-whalien52 · 8 months ago
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My aunt, uncle and cousins have been missing for two days already. We lost contact and haven't been able to talk in the flood. They are from Eldorado do Sul. I just.. I am already think about the worst but have to keep reassuring everybody else
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mrmeepsmadmind · 2 months ago
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rewatching this over and over again.. mainly bcs tarn makes soundwave into a manlet but also bcs it's hilarious
#thunderhowl at the copilot doing Absoluteky nothing then being surprised when shadowstriker is unfamiliar with the terrain: :D#i get ure a theater kid but CAN U STOP BEING SO CRYPTIC#bumblebee moving to the wall like the only smart person#optimus just wants to find the source#had to include soundwave being the bitchiest person for no reason at the end of course 🩵 mi lady#somebody help tarn bro only has one arm 😭😭#hes not even using it against a wall or anything like hes just trying to keep his balance#everybody panicking while shadowstriker doesnt give a fuck#girlboss shit she does every day and no one cares it pisses me off yall need to appreciate my mean lesbian like yall appreciate her mean gay#bestie#thunderhowl :) bcs he wants soundwave to struggle probably. i mean at the cost of others maybe risking a concussion? sure#theyre both so petty but try to act too cool to be in their own lame ways. im obsessed with them#he was hoping soundwave was gonna land in his lap 💔#somehow from all the way back there LMFAO if his terrains can defy gravity so can his beloved annoyance ok. he believes#im a filthy multishipper so i need tarn and soundwave to have more fic & kiss too bcs it's literally tarn being like I Know What You Are#(a Bttm) to soundwave and soundwave having to screw his lips into a smile & be like teehee of course.. only to be like (u forgot the Brat*)#at the end like. why are they like that. tarn holding him by the waist with 1 arm being like i got u bbgirl meanwhile hes getting#60000 concussions and soundwave is trying So hard not too laugh.. TOO loudly. (tarn thinking hes so anime protag rn)#tf cyberverse#soundwave#tarn#thunderhowl#shadowstriker#bumblebee#optimus prime#maccadam#transformers#I CANT BELIEVE I HAD ENOUGH ROOM FOR THESE TAGS!
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seaweedstarshine · 7 months ago
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RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)
#canonically psychotic = he canonically has psychosis. (not in the ableist way in that hes evil. which he is. lemme enjoy problematic rep)#Gabriel Summers#art by seaweed#words by seaweed#X-Men Red#the Gabriel hate during the Krakoa era pffffft. was 100% from ppl who didnt read the Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire#“he attacked Storm” hes also a genocidal dictator who tortures ppl for catharsis. drunkenly coming at Ororo is the least bad thing he did#“he's a douche” mother of all understatements. now get this man back w his boyfriend who he forced to be his best man under pain of death#Gabriel fans LOVE that Ororo beat his ass. he deserved it. it was a fake discourse made up by a certain segment of goddess!Ororo fans#I say as an Ororo fan! Shes my fav A-list x-man🥰 yes Gabe was at a mental low but Ororo didnt know that. that was Scott's responsibility.#psychotic Emperor Vulcan is what we call a problematic mentally ill villain trope. I love him SO much. (okay lets talk)#we don’t know much about his childhood but we do know he spent 2 years in a fugue state after escaping slavers when he was like ten ):#as an “adult”-ish he's uh “mentally” 15 or sumn according to the calculations claimed to him by his hallucination of his actual child self#and apart from THOSE hallucinations. he’s very paranoid to the point of killing his advisors because he becomes convinced-#that they’re plotting to kill him. they aren't. he relies on Calseye to ground him thru his paranoia. and then of course in the Krakoa era#he believes his energy constructs of Petra and Sway who drink with him till he blacks out every single day are real. he isnt consciously#creating them; but he sees them- and bc he’s a godlike mutant his subconscious makes his hallucinations visible. making everyone uncomfy#Charles tries to use telepathy to FORCIBLY reality check him. which of course triggers his trauma. and GABE is punished for it?#(oh plus our finding out Gabe got brain surgery done on him by some gods outside the universe offpanel. he never does well with tampering)#and now the writers who pushed Hickman out (also RIP Sabretooth & the Exiles. RIP Hellions) want us to be SAD Krakoa is gone?#yes Gabriel is the mentally ill villain trope. but Krakoa never cared for mutants who couldn’t fit in. who were traumatized. disabled. etc#Alex OF ALL PEOPLE should understand that. ALEX should’ve been there for Gabriel. (why wasn't he. did he hold a grudge for past torture.)#Alex also w Murder-Enjoying Disorder but it was actually treated as an illness and those in authority presented as wrong for excluding him#instead of helping him. which v flawed but Hellions was one of the best mental illness comics? like Zeb Wells was conscious of the genre#but Gabriel was just… cast out. for panicking when his prime traumatizer Charles invaded his mind. he deserved help too#and all because his family were annoyed at him for drinking all night and throwing up and passing out on the floor? for being delusional?#And like- all of the summers brothers are nd (Scott's brain damage; Alex's dissociative episodes; Gabriel's psychosis)#I have nothing to say about Adam X ((I highly doubt he's neurotypical and/or mentally healthy)) ((nothing to say abt him tho))#and Gabes paranoia is 100% rooted in his issues of being made to feel like an outsider. like YES the obvious MUTANT identity but also#he thinks his father abandoned him to be a slave. he's not Summers enough for Scott. hes not Shi'ar enough for the Shi'ar
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lukaskyle · 2 years ago
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KIT TANTHALOS | 1.06 “Prisoners of Skellin”
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everwisp · 1 year ago
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juza & nanami modeling for the fashion students during the university campus festival 📸✨
[ref: 1, 2]
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wardencommanderrodimiss · 5 months ago
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While I’m still thinking about Cata and Origins, if/when I replay her I’m thinking about the repercussions of changing up the main quest order I’ve had her story locked into for like 8 years, and swapping Redcliffe and the Circle, so having Redcliffe first after Lothering, then the Circle, then werewolves Denerim Temple Orzammar.
On one hand, I think Redcliffe first makes a lot of sense. On the other, Cata and Alistair’s relationship arc is “bantering-friendly-allies-of-necessity-and-trauma to silent-strained-allies-of-necessity to ????? to friends to lovers” and Redcliffe is where they have their big blowup fight that shapes most of their arc, so having that come earlier on changes the dynamic some. And Cata doesn’t properly apologize until after the werewolf curse is broken, so there’s longer there that that things are strained between them. On the first hand, that then means that there’s more time later for the ????? stage, which would happen after the Circle tower where being trapped in the Fade forces Cata to realize that she really does care about Alistair, but she’s still too proud and fucked up to properly apologize about it for a while, so after the Fade trip she would be trying to act like things are like they first were between her and Alistair, and Alistair is of course deeply, deeply confused because Cata does not vocalize any of her feelings.
But on the other hand again, the bit with Alistair’s mother’s amulet is kind of important in their arc, too - Cata finds it in Redcliffe and remembers what Alistair told her about it, but they just had that massive fight about Isolde’s death, and Cata doesn’t want Alistair to think she’s trying to bribe her way back into his good graces, so she holds onto it for a while until it gets harder and harder for her to figure out how to admit that she has it so she just sneaks it in with his stuff, and he realizes it must have been her. And I can’t remember if there’s an approval-gate on initially learning about the amulet, or if it just comes up pretty soon once you talk about Eamon/going to Redcliffe.
Well I guess this means I’ll have to replay Origins as Cata again. No other choice. No way around it.
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two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat · 10 months ago
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I may have a lil residual trauma from when mercedes had histoplasmosis
Harleys sick (probably a cold) but she hadn't moved from the chair in my moms office all day and hadn't been drinking water and it was reminding me too much of when mercedes got really bad and I had to drip water in her mouth with a syringe every 10 minutes to keep her hydrated
So I spent 30 minutes crying in the shower about it
Anyway she got up while I was showering and moved over to my room and just got done gulping down water so its good now
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And she has come for her after shower snuggles
She still clearly isn't feeling too good but if she hadn't come for her snuggles I'd be way more worried
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hinsaa-paramo-dharma · 1 year ago
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Class mein meme banke ubhri hoon and I don't know whether to be proud or embarrassed 💀
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necroticghost · 1 year ago
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Can I please just stop inconveniencing everyone?
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littol brown snake at work today. juvenile. apparently their bites can be fatal even as juveniles! but it was really cute - I saw it first and trotted off and told higher-ups like a good little girl. we closed the door so the snakeling could not get out and cause havoc; I kept walking past and wanting to open the door and look at it again, because it was so beautiful. but I refrained.
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malkaviian · 2 years ago
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random oc facts, of the "they have problems" flavor
#oc talk#1- luca developed claustrophobia from the time he was locked in the school's bathroom by her bullies#2- chase got his depression from his mom; who also has it; except she goes to therapy and has meds so its now somewhat controlled#he was quite the spoiled kid by both his parents but his mom was the one who would always agree with him and give him everything#even if he was in the wrong and the worst piece of shit he could be. she felt guilty about him getting clinical depression for 'her fault'#so she wanted to 'compensate him' for 'ruining his life'. he was still pretty harsh with both of them so.#one day he told her to kill herself and go to hell over a minor thing; that same night he went to see finnley#so he never knew his mom actually tried to kill herself if thats what he wanted. his dad was kinda bitter for a few days#but eventually forgave him. and as i said none of them told him anything so he never knew.#3- maverick still gets nervous when he sees cops or hears police sirens - hes always on the edge#whether theyre going to actually arrest him some day. he doesnt know if zachary's body was ever found as he avoided tv for that reason#like he hid it in an abandoned house. it was a horrible hiding place but it was the closest he had and he was panicking with a dead body#so its not like he could do the smartest things in that state. also of course he left his dna everywhere- finding him would be really easy#but it never happened since zachary came back before anyone noticed his disappearance. and with a new appearance#its was like the old zachary people knew just stopped existing entirely. you cant do a murder case without a body#so it was just labeled as a sudden disappearance. however mav is paranoid over it when in his non-empty state#and when hes empty hes so focused in finding someone new to obsess over he stops caring- maybe he could even find someone on prison!#4- rafael doesnt talks to his family due to charlotte manipulating him into believing theyre all horrible people who hate her#and in fact they hate her! mostly his sister. they hate what she did to their son/brother but hes so blind and easy to manipulate#they stopped trying to knock some common sense into him. his sister was afraid this would happen eventually bc he was always gullible#SPECIALLY when hes in love. and well guess what happened!!#5- on the topic of charlotte; she has both tried to kill herself AND kill someone. well; her 'suicide attempt' was more likely#wanted to get hospitalized but not *actually* ending her life. in her mind that would make her parents notice how much they hurt her#with their 'favoritism' towards raven. girl they literally never had a favoritism YOU are the one who think so!!!#she never got what she wanted though-- she ended up vomiting the pills and suddenly got too embarrassed to talk about it#and guess who she wanted to kill? exactly; raven! they would sometimes see each other on family reunions and it was weird#she bought anti-freezer and brought it to a reunion-- she has been on a barista course so technically no one would think anything#if she made drinks for everyone. but raven was just so insistent on seeing the process-- due to actual curiosity-- that she couldnt do it#so she came home with an anti-freezer and incredible frustrated lmao. she was 17 though so its not like it was thoroughly planned#but you know. the intention was there.
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whitmerule · 8 months ago
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I will say
I've had to clean clients' semen off the table.
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thepandalion · 5 months ago
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I need you guys to remind me when it's morning that I want to make a post for pinned post that actually. Does stuff. Like explain my sideblogs and ongoing projects.
Also entirely relevant in the meantime any house md fans plz send me ideas for things to write for the werewolf wilson au (currently named the www.au in my brain for ease of access) because I got a great name for a fic and I want to make it a oneshot collection because I don't have those as a skill yet and what better way to polish a skill than with a fandom I'm dubiously and cautiously entering at 45 minutes after my bedtime on a weekend
#Fyi I do have ideas already#Like. Wilson stuck in dog form bc of an early day moon attempts to help with a diagnosis#Or goes to be a happy dog playing with cancer patient kids who deserve a gentle giant dog who sits down and lets them knot his fur to hell#I have “cameron learns shes a changeling by contracting pixie cold” concept#And similarly a “chase has an identity crisis and begins to eat fossils in distress” one#where chase is too busy panicking about being magic now to kill that one patient in that one episode#Also. At least three case fic ideas#Including one where a lycanthrope contracts lupus because for some reason I find that irony vaguely funny#(however the fic itself is rather sad and ends w the patient being given enough meds to last one last full moon with her pack before dying#And then of course we get the “this is actually a story for the sake of our characters more than for the patient” bit#Where house corners wilson to ask if he's sure he's ok with only having house as pack when that girl had so many people for her#And wilson goes “if I could choose any one person to yell at me when I chew my own slippers it'd be you”#Its all soft and shit idfk)#However the point of all this is that I have a great name for the fic wherein I will collect all these oneshots#(the idea is calling it “who let the dogs out” btw)#((main concern rn is whether or not I'd tag theodog as a separate character from wilson or not bc they're the same person technically))#(((ehh. Problem for tomorrow ig)))
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thebibliosphere · 1 year ago
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To be clear, unless staff trips over the trail of extension cords keeping the servers running, Tumblr likely isn't going anywhere any time soon.
What the info we've seen suggests is that updates are going to slow down, maintenance is maybe going to get a little shaky, and we're going to see more glitches as time goes on and the remaining staff gets further behind their workload.
Is this a good thing? No, absolutely not.
Should you be panicking, jumping overboard, running for the hills, etc? Also no.
So what does it mean?
Well, for myself and several other creatives you all saw tagged in that post, it means we're looking around trying to figure out what to do in the long run. We're not running for the lifeboats. We're just eyeing the iceberg in the distance and getting our shit together in the event that the worst comes to pass.
Speaking for myself, I intend to crawl through the walls of Tumblr until they pry me out of the air vents armed with a broom and oven mitts. I'm not going anywhere until the lights go out, and even then, I'll be chewing on the wires.
But that doesn't mean I'm not looking around for somewhere to land when the time comes.
Myself and several others are not panicking about this, but we are trying to be organized about it.
I'm just old enough to remember when fandom websites being nuked overnight was a very real thing. You'd go to bed one night and wake up the next day to find friends you'd known for years were just gone with no means of contacting them because the site you'd been using got wiped. Entire collections of fandom history were just destroyed in the blink of an eye.
We don't want that again. And the good news is, we have time. We have time to back up our shit, time to swap contact info with our friends, and time to find a new place to exist within our communities while also staying here because Tumblr ain't dead yet.
She's just slowly going to wind down over time.
Unless, of course, they trip over the cables. Then we're fucked.
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homerjacksons · 11 months ago
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God can we just skip to the end of april so I can relax?
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dawnwriterimagines · 6 months ago
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Innocents among you
Part Two to TRAITORS AMONG US
SIMON RILEY X FEM!READER TASK FORCE 141 X FEM!READER
Summary: Your torture is over, but is it really? There is only the torment in your mind now. The nightmares, the flashbacks, the flowers at your hospital bed and the tormentors awaiting the relief of your forgiveness.
Part 3!!
Part 4
If you liked this would you Buy me a Coffee?
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---
You flatlined twice, almost as soon as you were handed off to the medics.
Committing themselves to doing CPR before bringing in the defibrillator for an electric charge to your sudden cardiac arrest. "Clear!" They restarted your heart just outside the hallway of your cell, Simon held back by Price as your heart stopped again within the same minute and panic ensued. Johnny and Kyle hearing the news, rushing up towards the hall, their footsteps probably the echo that you held onto as your heart rate picked back up.
Clearly, you lived.
You didn't have the luxury of going comatose immediately after. As you would've preferred.
You'd awoken hours after the medical team carried you off to the infirmary. Still on edge, still plagued by discomfort and cold, despite the lights of the recovery facility and the nurses that paraded around you.
Morphine wears off in about 6 hours, so you were up wailing in agony within the same time. Clearly no one expected you up so soon, but you hadn't slept in days, at least not more than an hour. Jerking up involuntarily, hands all over you to keep you down and steady, you could hear a familiar doctor's attempt to calm you down. But, the blistering pain that radiated from every pore in your body was ringing so loud, a present noise that blocked everything out.
So, at first, you'd been terrified, attempting to clutch onto the first thing you'd woken up to. But, you couldn't move, at least not voluntarily.
With the damage to your spine for countless hours, days, and what you had discovered to be two fucking weeks of endless torture, you'd undergone three difference corrective surgeries that would 'possibly' fix the nerve and circulatory damage done to you. It had left you nearly completely immobile since your admission into the infirmary. The doctors were quite astonished that you were even alive...
The nurses were patient enough with your panicked state to slowly ease you out of your stupor. But, at times it wasn't easy, especially when you didn't even know where you were at first. Since you couldn't see...
You were blind for about four days. Everything a tinted red for a few more after you'd regained your sight.
Fevers plagued you for the week, skin that was raw and inflamed from the severe cold and constant dousing from the pipes, you couldn't move if you wanted to.
The first thing you'd been graced to see were the multiple arrangements of flowers, lilies, white tulips, hydrangeas, roses...typical assortments of regret and remorse.
"Can someone throw these away?" had been your first words.
The nurse who had been checking over your vitals looks over at the flowers, the were all over the desk, even on the floor lining the windows, once they ran out of space to put them. It was beautiful. But, she knew why. Everyone knew why. You were quite famous here in the infirmary, as you were in special unit. "Of course."
They were out within the day. The room bare once more.
And then you saw them outside your infirmary window. Just a glimpse. Around the time you were still getting your sight back.
Seeing them for the first time since everything made bile build up in your throat, a screaming fear that created a pulsing headache.
Kyle, Johnny, Price and...you didn't see Simon.
Price was...a statue. Not moving an inch. His hand against his mouth, covering up the aching distress anyone could see on his face.
Kyle was pacing, back and forth and back and forth. Making an offhanded comment at one of them every few seconds.
But, Johnny was talking, pointing spitefully at someone out of your view.
He was there too then. Simon.
Turning away from the window, you couldn't look at them anymore.
"Don't let them in," you breathe out to your doctor as she sets down a trayed mug on your sliding table as she sits you up to drink a hot cup of tea, which you had requested. "Any of them. Please." You were still so cold, you couldn't imagine dealing with any type of cold weather for a while after dealing with this.
She's confused a moment, before turning to the doorway, where she recalled seeing the four men waiting outside in the hallway. She's seen them just sitting there for days now, they wouldn't beg or argue to come in, they'd just wait. It's not like you were cleared for visitors yet anyway.
Every morning she clocked in for the job, there they were. Sitting there like abandoned children, awaiting the moment the door would open to be welcomed inside.
It was like they never left.
Of course she knew who they were to you. Word spreads fast on the base. Especially for a Task Force as 'famous' as they were around here.
Squeezing your shoulder, comfortingly. Feeling protective, your doctor spoke, "Of course," she slides the mug forward a bit, taking the teaspoon to stir once and lift it to toward your lips to sip. "Blow," she guided.
You did. And sipped.
And it was warmer than any blanket they'd wrapped you in.
---
Prior to being able to trudge around on your own, with the help of a crutch you'd been given to go to the bathroom by yourself finally, the nurses had sponged you down in bed. Your spinal surgeries led to you being at risk if they made efforts to remove you from your bed for anything more than a medical emergency.
Mostly, because you're terrified of the showerhead....and it's pathetic, but no one judges you for it as you opt for a sponge bath every time instead. Even if you're shaking as the water slides down your skin even now. The last thing you needed on top of all this was to develop aquaphobia.
Today was the first day you could do it on you own, limping your way to the bathroom with your crutch. The smell of bleach is much stronger in here, it stings your nose.
You stared at the metal stool left tucked at the side, walking around it as if it would pounce up and attack you, you try not to look at it. You'd been doing well without panic attacks for a few days now, just hold it together.
Taking a breath, you reach out to the handle for the spout, glancing up at the showerhead, before back down. Swallowing thickly when you begin to turn it before pausing, hearing the water rush up the pipe to spill out. Turning it back up just as quickly, shutting off the pipe, you inhale deeply, trembling now, hand up to the chilled tile to steady yourself.
You'll try again, you had to.
Drip...
Drip...
Unable to help yourself, the sudden rush of paranoia that runs through you is terrible, a hoarse cry leaves you. You shove yourself away from the shower stall, back ramming into the doorframe, catching yourself, and away from the showerhead as the water drips, slowly from the faucet.
Drip...
Drip...
As panic tightened its grip around your chest, your breaths quickly turned to short, sharp gasps. The room spinning, colors blurring into a dizzying whirlwind. You turn swiftly, nearly knocking yourself off your feet as the thudding of your own heart startles you, you can hear it in your ears, in your hands, in your feet.
You press a trembling hand to your chest, clawing over the area, trying to slow the frantic pace of your breathing, but it only seemed to escalate. The small room narrowing to a black hole of fear and suffocation, every gasp began to disorient you, turning lightheaded.
As tears welled in your eyes, you collapse against the side wall, sliding down to the tiled floor. Slamming your palm against your chest, once, twice, as hot tears leave streaks down your bruised face, you beg your lungs to expand and wait for your breathing to regulate.
Beginning to sob uncontrollably as you hit yourself in the chest again and again and again, waiting for the moment you found yourself able to breathe.
Why did this have to happen?
You remember the violent swing of the baton against your face, the sting it leaves afterwards, the immediate spotting of bruises forming. The memory startles you, receding back into yourself, back to that day.
"It wasn't me..." you cried loudly, in the empty room. It echoes against the tiles.
Simon wrapping his hands around your neck, staring you down as he squeezed, maliciously. You couldn't breathe as your lover shook with the strength he uses to hold himself back from taking your life.
"I'm sorry," you hiccupped. "I'm--I'm sorry," you're not sure when you crawled yourself into the corner, the lights of the bathroom flickering off dimly from your lack of movement. As you're drowned in darkness, the water dripping from the spout, the cold tile against your skin, it's too much. You scramble upwards, running out of the bathroom.
The automatic lights flicker back on inside, but you're too in your head to notice.
Stumbling down to your knees as you feel the rip of a ruined stitching tearing along your side. "Ah!" comes your startled cry. Making it to the side of your hospital bed, you fist your hand through your sheets, unable to stand yourself up.
Taking pained breaths against the sterile sheets, you bury your head in them, cursing whatever luck you thought you had in this life.
They were your family...
All you had for so many years...
As your breathing slows to distraught, agonized huffs of air, sniffling to yourself as you catch sight of your face in the metal frame of your hospital bed. The dark purple bruises beneath your eyes as the swelling gradually went down, the still bloodshot left eye of yours, the twelve stitches on the left side of your face. So gruesome you knew it would scar you for life, a permanent reminder on your fucking face.
Anger bubbled up inside you at the sight of it. At the memory that would always follow when you'd look at it.
Anger that you hadn't been able to properly feel until now.
Anger that you feared to have until today.
"Are you alright?" the sound of his voice makes you visible tense.
Simon.
He's here.
You don't turn to face him, if you did, you'd revert back to the person you were cowering into moments ago. "The door was open...I just--" he pauses, swallowing thickly. "Lemme help you up."
Hearing his footsteps suddenly moving closer, you speak fast. "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" you scream over your shoulder, tucking yourself further away from him. "Do NOT move."
He stops in his tracks. You catch the sight of him in the metal framing of the bed, he's a blur in the metal, but you notice his mask is gone, he's Simon Riley now, not Ghost as he appeared to you in the interrogation cell.
"Don't you dare get any closer," you spat.
"I heard you," he spoke, carefully. Mouth opening and closing, before speaking again. "But, you don't have to be stubborn. If you stay there any longer you could tear your stitches."
"Whose fault is that?"
Simon shifts his stance on his feet, waits a second. "I know. And I can never begin to tell you how sorry I am for what I did. What we all did to you," he says, quietly. "The intel we discovered...or that was forged, it came from a source we've used a dozen times, (Y/n), we thought it was true. It had to be. We've never been misled before."
"So..." your nails bite into your skin, you make an amused sound, biting down on your lip for a moment, till it hurt. " That's what you came here to say, huh? What you waited days to--. Is this you justifying--"
"No, (y/n), that's not--"
"--why you tortured me, strangled me, stripped me, in that fucking cell, Simon?"
"We had to believe it, at the time..."
"Was I not a trusted source?" you argued. "Had I not proven more than a thousand times that you could trust me? I've fought next to you, laid in your bed, given you my love, my trust, I--" you shook with rage at the time and energy wasted on time family, this relationship, if the end goal was always meant to just be this.. "I thought that was at least half the reason you decided to marry me..." at the mention of your relationship, you could see the way Simon nearly lost his balance, hands coming up to run along his face. "You told me you would kill me in that room..."
"I was just talking, I wouldn't have--" his voice cracks as he whispers, trying to convince.
"When you left, I thought you'd come back to kill me any minute, or Price, to spare you. I waited to die for two days, terrified out of my mind. I wondered about heaven, not if I'd make it... but what it'd be like, what I'd be missing out on," you thought back to your time in that cell, a haunted expression Simon couldn't see. "While you all got a good nights rest, woke up for some bacon and eggs, and listened to the warden tell you that your prisoner was framed...for a crime you'd already punished her for..." you stuttered on your breathing, tears flowing silently.
Simon inhales deeply. "I could never expect you to forgive me. I-I had taken my hurt out on you, I thought you did it, I was so sure. I couldn't hear what you were saying, I just could see the evidence, and I--I'm sorry. I'm sorry, love. I'm truly--" he gets to his knees behind you.
"Get up."
"I can never tell you how sorry I am---"
"Simon."
"I never should've done this to you. If I could ever--" his voice rising with distressed breaths, you didn't have to look at him to see his face a mess of sorrow, tears that would mix into the stubble on his face.
"Simon!"
"--make it up to you. If you could ever find it in your to forgive me, (y/n). I'll spend the rest of my life--" he gets closer, reaching out.
Whipping around, stiffening completely as you feel the graze of his fingers across your skin, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" you shove your back against your bedding, your hand swinging and flying across his face. His head snapping to the side as he pauses, freezing up where he kneels, having completely forgotten your request to stay put. "What's the matter with you! Even now? Even now, you can't just listen to this one thing?!"
"I-I'm sorry..." He looks at you, finally seeing your face clearly and up close since it all happened. Finally he can see the bruises along your face, the blood that fills your eye, the dark bruise still around your neck.
Seeing him. He looks rough. Honestly, he looks terrible. His hair shaggy and falling over his eye. Dark circles with bags under them. Pale, and thinner than he should be.
His jaw clenches with guilt and he averts his eyes, you continue. "How could I forgive you for this?" you stare at him, "I could forgive you, if you hadn't let them chain me up like an animal. If you hadn't watched them drown me for hours, beat me black and blue and left me screaming for days. I could forgive you if you had just believed me even for a moment." you feign thoughtfulness. "How about you look at my face. My wrists. My legs! MY FUCKING SPINE, SIMON!"
"Nothing I can say or do, will ever make any of it ok, I know that. And I can't ask for you to ever forgive--"
"What could I possible owe you in this life, that makes you think I'd even think about forgiving any of you for the things you did to me?" you gritted out, angrily.
Simon's head drops, a slow, shuttering sigh leaves him. "I'll never stop trying to make this right. Never."
"...Get out, Simon."
"I'm sorry."
"Simon."
"I'm so sorry..." he reaches out again.
"Ghost."
He's silent this time, fingers tensing, out in mid air.
"I never wanna see you again."
"I love you, (Y/n)," he confessed, eyes feral and wide. Pulling at the ends of your slip.
"I don't want to hear that, Ghost," kicking away from him. "Stop it."
"I couldn't stop even as it happened--"
"Shut up. And get out," shaking as you sneered at his desperate attempts. "It's over, Ghost."
"And I took it on you. It hurt so much, I couldn't think," Simon's face twisted with agony and remorse. "I'm sorry!"
He was making you lose your goddamn mind, you broke. "GET THE FUCK OUT!" screaming at one another as overwhelming tears escaped your eyes.
---
It's quiet in your hospital room, it's empty now, the door closed this time.
The door knob turns and opens again a moment later. "Oh no, Ms. (L/n)!" luckily it was your assigned nurse, who takes your arm and fixes it around her shoulder before helping haul yourself up to your feet. "What're you doing on the floor? There's a call button for a reason," she scolds as you sit on the edge of your bed.
You're quiet.
Alarmingly so for your nurse, who notices the pulled stitching that creates a line of blood down your side. "If this is about what happened to you..." the nurse started, speaking carefully, pulling a lining of gauze from the side to press to your skin. You don't even wince at the pressure, even when she begins to clean and replace the broken stitch. "Don't let it break you. Not even further than this experience already has..." she says, while through the last stitch and prepping a bandage.
"I've been broken long before this," you whispered, looking towards the afternoon sun shining through your window. "This. This didn't break me, no," you admitted, before glancing up with glossy eyes, rage hidden beneath a profound look of sadness. "It destroyed me."
Her hand pauses at your side, your words startling, turning to see the tear that slips down your cheek. Knowing now how deep your scars were from this, before gently sliding the last of the bandage across your skin. "Do not think you are irreparable. That time can't heal your wounds."
"But, there's always reminders," touching the stitches on your cheek, "some things can't be forgiven."
"I never said to forgive..." the nurse interjected. "If you could, after all this, you're stronger than any woman that could be named."
You snicker at that, humming soundly. "That's an interesting thought. I guess I'm one of the weaker ones then."
"And yet, still the strongest I've ever met," she finishes. Pats your cheek, "click the button next time. Save us both the heart attack."
"Noted," you assured.
As she's prepping to leave for her rounds, you open your mouth, once, twice, before clearing it. "Is it possible, someone could help me out--the water..."
"Of course," the nurse says, quickly. "Don't worry, I understand. I'll get everything set for you."
As she walks away, you breathing out your appreciation, you take a long inhale, swallowing down the heaviness in your chest.
part 3 OUT NOW!!
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