#(however the fic itself is rather sad and ends w the patient being given enough meds to last one last full moon with her pack before dying

[thepandalion]

I need you guys to remind me when it's morning that I want to make a post for pinned post that actually. Does stuff. Like explain my sideblogs and ongoing projects.

Also entirely relevant in the meantime any house md fans plz send me ideas for things to write for the werewolf wilson au (currently named the www.au in my brain for ease of access) because I got a great name for a fic and I want to make it a oneshot collection because I don't have those as a skill yet and what better way to polish a skill than with a fandom I'm dubiously and cautiously entering at 45 minutes after my bedtime on a weekend

[thdorkmagnet]

Comfort for a False Princess

Hey guys! Meant to post this a while back on here but I had some issues with my email. It’s all fixed now but I had to hold off on posting this. Basically it’s a canon compliant fic taking place right after “Butterfly Trap” and is focused on Marco’s perspective! Thanks to my good friend @kikithefox231 for suggesting I try something canon instead of my typical AU craze haha. Enjoy!

Marco had promised Star he’d wait up for her. She had been pretty nervous and stressed out lately and he knew after today she would need some time with her bestie to make her feel better. He had been informed of the plan to expose the truth from the MHC, Star going into great detail about the plan her, her mom, and Eclipsa had come up with and even though Marco hadn’t felt like he was qualified to be given such knowledge, he had listened eagerly to her. He could tell she had just needed someone to vent at. And since he was her loyal squire (and chief best friend as Star liked to say) he swore he would be that person for her. Her shoulder to cry on, her hero, her boyfrie-

 Well okay maybe not that last one since Marco was painfully aware of Star and Tom's relationship. But thanks to stupid Tad he was now aware of his own feelings for the girl and was forced to pretend he didn't love her and wanted nothing more than for her to love him back. He had no choice but to swallow back these feelings because that’s what Star wanted. Even if sometimes he wished she didn’t. 

Unfortunately Marco’s vow to stay up was thwarted after Glossaryck climbed up into his lap and he soon fell asleep under the comforting warmth of the blue man’s small form. He was snoring loudly, a line of drool dripping from his chin as his head leaned on the back of the uncomfortable wood chair he was sitting in. He had yet to stir, despite the throbbing pain in his back, too stuck in his dreams to wake. Especially since it was his favorite dream, the one where he and Star were together, where Tom had never dated her and he had never gone out with Jackie. It was just him and Star against the world, exactly how he wanted things to be.

He was pretty rudely awoken from his slumber though as the door to Star’s room slammed open. He let out a startled shout, his voice strained from sleep as he jumped up yelling, “Wha- I’m up, I’m up!”

However, he got up a little too quickly and ended up falling out of the chair and onto the hard floor below him. Glossaryk dove off his lap and raced out of the room screaming the one word he seemed to know anymore, “Globgore!” Marco’s head spun as he sat up and took a look at his surroundings trying to get his fuzzy brain to focus. He blinked a few times as he remembered his plan for staying awake, swiping a hand over his eyes to help clear them and letting out a deep yawn. He looked behind him, giving Star a doopey but sheepish grin and muttered in the most alert tone he had at the moment, “Whoa, sorry Star. Guess I sorta dozed off there for a-”

The word caught in his throat as he finally focused in on Star. Her face was streaked with tears, her eyes red and swollen from crying. Her face was twisted into one of the most depressing looks Marco thought he had ever seen, her cheekmarks now dull shattered hearts. Just seeing her in that state made his insides squeeze together, her sadness causing him physical pain, and he nearly choked on the lump that implanted itself tightly in his throat. She gave him a desperate and almost pleading look and Marco was on his feet in an instant, his exhaustion long forgotten.

“Star, what’s wrong?” he asked, trying to keep the worry from his tone but that was hard to do when staring into the crying face of someone as sweet and carefree as Star. He would rather someone have punched him then to see Star going through any kind of negative emotion. 

His words seemed to have opened up the floodgates as tears streamed down Star’s face anew and she ran towards him. Marco opened his arms without a word, anticipating the hug before it even happened and he was not surprised as Star’s slim form crashed into him, causing him to stumble back a step. Still, he recovered immediately encircling around Star’s shaking waist and resting his head on top of her soft, golden hair. Star had buried her face in his chest, and he could feel the front of his hoodie growing damp with her tears, her muffled sobs felt like knives being jabbed into Marco’s soul. He ran a hand up and down her back, cooing and shushing her softly, hoping to provide some kind of comfort to her troubled mind. “It’s alright, Star. Everything’s alright,” he whispered.

Even though he was beyond curious how the trial had gone and what could have caused Star to react this way he didn’t press her. Star’s peace of mind came first, his pestering questions could wait. 

Marco was slightly upset though when he found himself enjoying the hug. 

He missed having Star this close to him, most of the time their hugs were very brief and this was the longest one he had had in a while. He missed her hugs, since she had gotten with Tom they were less frequent and Marco ached for more. Not that he would ever ask, it wasn’t his place to. He had to be her loyal squire, that was all he could ever be. He should just be grateful he could be near Star everyday. The alternative he had almost had to live with was too painful to comprehend.

Or at least that's what he told himself. That he was okay where he was at, that he was fine with being Star’s friend and nothing more. But there was a deep part of him that wanted more than anything to have Star love him as much as he loved her. And that part ached. It hurt to be near her sometimes. Because he wanted her to love him. Almost needed her to. 

No, get your thoughts together, Diaz, he scolded himself, ashamed of himself for making this about him when Star was in need. Besides he already accepted his fate. Star wasn’t his and she never would be. It was his own fault that he had ended up in this situation, after all. He had his chance with Star and he had blown it, all because he had been too blinded by Jackie to see what he was doing to his best friend. He hadn’t even noticed how much he was hurting her, his best friend, the girl he was supposed to know better than himself. And now she had moved on and he had to live with the consequences. This was his punishment for not seeing what he was doing to Star, to suffer the same way she had. 

So he forced down all his thoughts and feelings and just focused on comforting his best friend. Star’s sobs slowly started to die down and he knew she was coherent enough to talk. “Star, talk to me. What happened?”

Star let out a shaky breath and pulled out of the hug. Her eyes were still blurry with tears and she sniffled a few times but otherwise seemed to have gotten crying out of her system. Her eyes were on the floor instead of Marco and the boy knew she had to be in a bad place if she couldn’t even look him in the eye. “I…” she started, before sniffing loudly again, her arm scrubbing at her face for a second. “I’m not a real princess,” she managed to whisper and her face filled with anguish. 

Marco was surprised by this response and wanted to pull her into another hug, to hold her and never let her go. But he resisted the urge, not wanting to accidentally give away his true feelings for his bestie, so instead he settled for a hand on her shoulder. “Star, don’t be ridiculous. Of course you’re a real princess. I mean sure things haven’t been going great so far but that doesn’t make you any less of a-”

“No, Marco! You don’t understand!” Star shouted, knocking Marco’s hand off her shoulder, before leaning in closer to him, their eyes finally meeting and now Marco could see the full extent of sadness and pain buried in her expression and he felt his chest squeeze tightly at the horrible sight. Star without a smile was like a sky without the sun. 

Star let out a choked sigh, struggling to pull herself together enough to tell Marco what was going on and the boy waited patiently for her to continue. Well at least on the outside he was patient, on the inside he wanted to scream and beg Star to tell him what was going on. The wait was killing him and not knowing whatever it was that was affecting her so negatively made him ache. He wanted to know so he could help.

And finally Marco got that relief as Star managed to get out, “The Magic High Commission lied. They switched Meteora with a different baby. I’m not a Butterfly, I-I never w-was.” With that Star broke down into new tears, bawling openly as she leaned against Marco for support. 

Marco was stunned by this, his head spinning with this news and even as Star sought his comfort he could only stand there numbly as she pressed herself harder and harder against him, silently begging for his affection. But his limbs hung limply at his sides and he struggled to muster the courage to even raise them. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out, whatever pathetic attempt to calm the girl he thought up died on his tongue. 

What was he supposed to say to that? Star wasn’t a Butterfly? She wasn’t royalty? How was that even possible? He knew the MHC disliked Eclipsa but to replace her own daughter like that was… unthinkably cruel. He couldn’t imagine what the dark queen was going through, the pain she was enduring. Just seeing how Star was suffering made Marco want to hunt down every single one of the magical beings and make them hurt the same way his bestie was currently hurting. Marco would be immensely surprised if Eclipsa didn’t decide to do the same. 

But Marco quickly pushed down the anger, he couldn't focus on that at the moment, right now Star needed comforting and that was the most important thing. So he forced his brain to focus on the then and there and finally wrapped his arms around Star’s slender waist, bringing her as close to him as he could. He allowed her to sob into his hoodie, while he ran a tender hand through her soft, blonde hair, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, hoping it would somehow soothe her troubled mind. 

It didn’t help Star much but it made Marco feel some better to be doing something at least. To be attempting to help instead of just sitting there like a sack of potatoes, his mouth gaped open like an idiot. So he only increased his affection, muttering pointless words at her until they lost all meaning to both of them. Eventually Star’s sobs died down and Marco was able to stop the comforting motion. The blonde was left sniffling, her eyes puffy and red, and Marco’s hoodie was damp with tears but he didn’t mind. His focus was only on Star.

“Feeling any better?” he asked, rubbing a hand up and down her arm, afraid to break physical contact with her. She seemed so small and vulnerable right now he was afraid she might break in half or float away if he didn’t keep hold of her in some way. Plus, some sinful part of his brain just wanted to be as close to her as he could, the warmth it gave him to do so indescribable. 

Stop it! He scolded himself harshly. Don’t think stuff like that, especially not right now. 

Star nodded slowly but the pain in her eyes was still there and Marco knew he had to say something. Preferably something to cheer her up. He decided the best approach was to find out more of the facts, even if he knew it would be painful for Star to get through. He couldn’t really help her until he knew exactly what had happened. “Star, I know this is hard but… do you want to tell me what happened? Getting it out might make you feel better,” he tried, hating the way his voice sounded, he sounded like he was on the brink of tears himself. Pull it together, Diaz, Star needs you!

Star took a few deep breaths before finally starting her story, explaining exactly how the trial had gone. To her credit, she managed to stay calm, only breaking off a few times to fight back a sob or pausing on a particularly hard word to say. Still, she conveyed the story with much more strength than Marco could have, but then that was why Star was so amazing to him. She was so much stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Of course, Marco saw it even when nobody else did. It seemed it was one of the few things he ever saw.

Before that train of thought could go any deeper, Star finished her story, her wide, crystal blue orbs staring at him in anticipation, waiting for him to say something. Marco swallowed, trying to dig up some form of comforting words but none of it sounded right in his head. It was all too poetic, it didn’t feel real, just more meaningless words to throw at her in hopes of it sticking. Star didn’t deserve that. She deserved to know his real thoughts. 

And so that’s exactly what he gave her.

“Wow, Star, that’s so… terrible,” he whispered, his voice strained and foreign to his ear. 

Star let out a loud groan, before laying her head on his shoulder and Marco tensed. Despite the situation it felt… nice. The girl began massaging her eyes with the palms of her hands as she moaned out in despair, “How could they do this?! I mean it was bad enough they froze Eclipsa in a crystal just for loving someone but seriously?!” 

And just like that Star’s despair turned to anger and Marco waited for this new wave of emotion to die out in silence. “It’s insane! Everything I’ve ever known is a lie! And it’s all their fault! Didn’t they even think about how everyone would feel about this?! Oh no wait, they didn’t, because they are a bunch of heartless monsters!!”

Star huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “I mean imagine if they reacted that way about me and Tom.”

Marco cringed as the demon was mentioned, suddenly whatever good feelings he had been building up to help Star instantly evaporated. He shouldn’t be the one doing this. Tom should. He was her boyfriend, after all. Was it wrong for Marco to be taking up the role of comforting her? I mean, she came to him first so maybe she didn’t mind.

The confusing tangle of emotions was back, stabbing into his heart viciously like it had never even left. His feelings for Star, his guilt for those feelings, the way his heart was both filled and crushed whenever he was around her, all of it. And suddenly, he wondered why he was even here. He didn’t deserve to be Star’s confidant, not when he was hiding his true feelings for her deep down. But he had no choice. Star had come to him and it was his job to comfort her, even if he didn’t deserve to. The least he could do was give back a little.

“I know, Star,” he said, once her rant was finally finished and her anger had somewhat diffused. “You don’t deserve to go through all this, Eclipsa doesn’t, no one does. It stinks, a lot.”

“Yeah it does,” Star said with a tired sigh. 

“But you don’t have to let the past ruin everything you’ve done, you know that right?” Marco continued, hoping his words got through to her. “Sure the way you got here was messed up but it’s allowed you to do so much good for Mewni.”

“Oh you mean ruining everything for everyone!” Star shouted in exasperation. “I feel like all I’ve done is make things worse!”

“No, you haven’t,” Marco said and instinctively wrapped his arms around her again but he made sure not to hold her too close this time. He needed to remember to keep her at a distance, she wasn’t his to have. “Things are just a little rough right now but we’ll pull through it. I’m sure we will.” 

“But Marco… I don’t even know who I am anymore,” Star whispered and her voice was so broken and fragile that the hooded teen felt tears blur his vision. 

Marco took a moment to collect his thoughts, trying to think of the perfect thing to say to her. To remind her how amazing she was to him. Gosh, he wasn’t even sure if he could sum it up into words. She was his whole world, everything she did only made him love her more and to hear her doubt herself like that was unspeakable. So despite himself, he knew he had to at least try and make her see that too.

“I know who you are, Star,” Marco said, his voice confident and clear, despite his racing pulse. Could she hear how loud his heart was? She had to, right? It sounded like a jackhammer. But he had to continue, so he just swallowed back the lump in this throat and pressed on. “You are the most amazing and beautiful person I have ever met. You are kind and helpful and always try and do the right thing even when everyone else thinks you’re crazy. You are wild and rambunctious and you only ever do what you want no matter how crazy or destructive that might be. You are fun and goofy and full of so much life that when I’m with you I feel… alive. More alive than I’ve ever been actually. You're so much more than a princess or a Butterfly, you are Star! And that’s more than enough for me. I don’t follow you because you’re a princess or because you’re from some family legacy, I do it because I lo-”

Marco stopped himself just in time, biting his lip to keep the word from releasing itself. He had gotten too wrapped up in his praising to realize he was starting to gush over her. He was letting his emotions get the better of him. He needed to calm down before he gave too much away. He couldn’t let Star know how he really felt. “B-Because you’re my best friend,” he corrected himself, begging his cheeks to keep from blushing. Don’t let it show. Don’t let it show. Don’t let it show.

“A-A-And you mean the world to me, Star,” he stuttered out, struggling to hold himself together through the current of emotions threatening to tear him apart. Star looked at him for a long time, just staring deep into his eyes and he almost fainted by the rich, deep blue piercing his soul, it was like looking into the sky. Marco couldn’t breathe. Was he breathing? He was too afraid to breathe, worried that the words written on his heart would spill out of him along with the air he was keeping trapped in his lungs.

Finally, Star broke the long stretch of silence, saying in a soft, fragile tone, “You really mean all that?”

Marco knew he had to reply but was still too afraid to risk speaking and so he simply nodded his head and smiled at her, pouring all the love he felt for her into the action, hoping it might reassure his friend just how much she meant to him.

Star’s eyes flooded with new tears but he knew these were not the same as the last ones, these were full of joy and relief at his acceptance. The blonde seemed almost too overcome with emotions as she just scrubbed at her eyes for a few seconds. Marco noticed that his friend’s cheekmarks were glowing faintly and his chest swelled with pride at restoring her broken heart. He only wished he could do more for her. 

Marco felt his heart nearly stop as Star pulled him into the third hug of the day, holding him close to her as she breathed into his shoulder. He missed her hugs. Gosh would it ever stop hurting?! Was there any way to make this pain end? There was only one way and he knew that. But he couldn’t take that chance. Could he?

He pulled out of the hug, knowing better than to let it go on for too long. He had already let the last two last for longer than they should. He shifted slightly on the bed, putting just an inch of space between him and Star so she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. Or maybe it was for his own sake, either way, it was too late to go back now. 

Star didn’t seem to notice this, she just smiled at him with that sweet, innocent (if now tear-stained) look that only Star could pull off. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice tight from the tears but there was life in her words. She sounded like Star again. “Thank you so much, Marco.”

“Your welcome, Star,” Marco muttered on instinct. But he found himself looking inward again. This was his chance. He had just made Star happy, she was smiling again. He just had to tell her. He just had to open his mouth and speak the words that had been etched deep into his heart. Tell her how he felt and it could all be over.

The words were stuck on his tongue. He could feel them, feel their want and need to get out. To confess. 

“Star, I-”

“I just wanted to say how unbelievably important you are to me, Marco,” Star said, unintentionally stopping Marco before he could get the words out. He bit his tongue, allowing her to speak her mind first. No matter how burning the desire was. “I feel like my whole world is just crumbling around me and well, I just- I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you're here.” 

Star heaved a deep sigh, the kind of sigh that was tethered by untold weight. It wasn’t just exhaustion, it was so much more personal than that. It was the sigh of someone who had lost meaning, who was close to losing everything. Someone struggling to hold the pieces of their sanity together but fearful one little gust of wind would shatter all their hard work forever. Not quite defeat but fear of it. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, honestly,” Star continued. “You're the one thing in my life that makes any sort of sense anymore.” 

Marco swallowed hard, burying his confession back into the deepest corners of his heart. Guilt flooded his system. What was wrong with him? How could he have even thought about doing something like that? He had been so close to hurting her again. To ruin everything they had built because of his own compulsive heart. Star needed him and right now he was being selfish. 

“Well… what are friends for,” Marco managed to get out with a lot of force. He put on a fake smile. He was so used to those now they came naturally to him. 

But thankfully, Star seemed to perk up a bit from that, her eyes flooding with light again, her smile real and genuine. She was happy. And suddenly, Marco remembered why he was there. 

“Could we just like, I don’t know, watch a cheesy movie? like the old days,” Star asked. She rolled her eyes as she seemed to realize what she had said. “I know, I know, super random. But I just need something mindless, y’know. Something to distract from…” She bit her lip, taking a moment to think up the right word to sum up her hectic existence, before finally settling on, “Everything else.” 

Marco smiled softly at her, despite the pain in his heart, being able to make Star happy eased that pain a little. At least that’s what he told himself. He put a hand on her shoulder, hoping this would provide her with some much needed comfort. “Of course, Star. Anything for you.” 

While he set up the movie Star requested, his mind was lost deep in thought. He couldn’t believe how selfish he was being. Here Star was suffering, giving her all for her homeworld and yet all he seemed capable of doing was being jealous and petty. Star didn’t deserve that. She deserved better. Better than him. He told himself he would stop this nonsense thinking. There was no point to it. It wouldn’t change anything. Star needed support and she was gonna get it even if it killed him! 

He would just have to be more careful. Keep his distance. He would be her loyal squire, just like she had made him in the first place. If he was gonna make this work he would have to be her squire first and her friend second. He would just need to take care of her needs and push everything else out. His feelings weren’t a factor at this point. 

Marco finished his task without realizing it. The movie had started, a cheery intro sequence that felt very out of place in his serious thoughts beginning to play. He stared at the screen absentmindedly for a second before going over to join Star on the couch. 

For a long while, he and Star just watched the movie in silence, well watched was a bit of a stretch, it was more like Marco stared at the screen and forgot everything else. All his troubles melted away as the cheerful, colorful world he and his friend were viewing consumed his mind. At least for a bit. That was until he felt Star’s warm presence inching closer to him, before resting her head on his shoulder. Marco tensed, the old feelings he harborded for her resurfacing but he quickly stuffed those back down. 

Slowly he allowed his eyes to drift down to her face and the look he saw made his heart melt. Her smile was so soft and light and she looked happy, comfortable, much more than she had been so in weeks. And it was all thanks to him. A few hours ago he would have told himself it was because Star liked him just as much as he liked her and this was a sign that her feelings weren’t all gone. But now he knew it was just because Star needed a friend to support her.

 New resolve filled his being. He knew his purpose again, he couldn’t believe he had ever forgotten. He wasn’t here for himself, not anymore anyways. He was here for Star. And he would be there for so long as she wanted him. And that would be enough. Making Star smile was more than enough for him. 

At least that’s what he would continue to tell himself. 

At the end of the day life on Mewni wasn’t perfect for him. But he would do anything for Star. Even if that meant being miserable for the rest of his life. Anything for Star’s happiness.

He would just have to believe that would be enough… for the both of them.