#of course she had to suppress her powers because how can you stop your toddler running into traffic if she can run 1000 times faster than u

[coldflasher]

the flash should have ended with barry quitting his job at ccpd to become a stay-at-home husband and that's on that

[saintsenara]

no but lily evans/merope gaunt???

the idolised mother/the mother failed by the narrative??? "i died for my son on purpose and with purpose and this is what saved him"/"i loved my son but i died and he never knew how much and this is why he was lost"???

(or at least that's what the narrative wants us to believe anyway, i think voldetom is much more complicated than "can't love bc product of artifical devotion" but anyway ahem)

lily evans/merope gaunt is my point

thank you to both anons who have spotted the unhinged potential of this:

rip to lord oedipus complex, but you're different.

as anyone who's read this blog before will know, i detest the narrative treatment of merope's death - above all the idea that her death was a deliberate choice made because she simply wasn't brave enough to bother staying alive for her son:

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. “Could you possibly be feeling sorry for Lord Voldemort?” “No,” said Harry quickly, “but she had a choice, didn’t she, not like my mother -”  “Your mother had a choice too,” said Dumbledore gently. “Yes, Merope Riddle chose death in spite of a son who needed her, but do not judge her too harshly, Harry. She was greatly weakened by long suffering and she never had your mother’s courage. And now, if you will stand...”

i get that the main purpose of this is to introduce - as half-blood prince does, after five books in which lily's barely mentioned - the idea that lily is the key to the whole mystery, and that the fact that she chose to die when voldemort offered her an alternative is the reason why. and yet it will never stop enraging me!

[since - if witches are immune to death in childbirth, when muggle women are not - then literally everything voldemort believes about muggles being, essentially, a separate, inferior species is correct. which isn't what the series thinks it's saying...]

i much prefer the recognition that merope's death is the last in a long line of failings on behalf of the wizarding state [and the first in a long line of equivalent institutional failings when it comes to her son...], which could have been easily averted with just some minor tweaks of the circumstances.

which would pretty much guarantee lily's survival, since a wee tom raised by his mam would never become lord voldemort [and i'll die on that hill].

age-gap single mams hooking up is a great premise, especially since tom would be in his fifties, trying to suppress his rage at being asked to refer to a toddler as his step-brother [we're all agreed that tom and merope would have a buster and lucille bluth vibe, right? harry's annyong].

but two dead women - taken from their children when they were barely adults themselves - coming together in the world beyond the veil, and trying to make sense of their sons' lives and how they have been bound together, and trying to understand how one woman's love for her son could create a magic so powerful it can alter the course of history and another woman's love for her son could do nothing... is a better one.

[imherongraystairstrash]

So between a few fics I’ve read between various fandoms as of late, I came up with the cutest idea ever, with a hint of angst of course. I am gifting it to you because you’re an amazing human being!

So you know those fics where a character gets de-aged and sort of keeps their memories, but because they’re younger and *waves hand* magic, it’s mostly just impressions of the people around them? What if prior to TID, Will got hit with a potion or spell or something that de-aged him to like a 5-8 year old or something. And he doesn’t really remember his curse, but what he does know is that Fairwell have been raising him, so he thinks they’re his parents? And calls them as such? And he’s just the sweetest little boy, always chasing after them or Jem, wanting to be read to or picked up and cuddled. And then the potion or spell wears off after a couple of weeks of this, and they have to go back to dealing with normal Will, who claims not to remember anything of what happened, but totally does, and acts worse than normal accordingly.

Uh oh, I got carried away with a fic againnn. Thank you so much for this amazing request though! I would post it all here, but I’m not even done and it’s almost at the 2500 word mark, so I’m posting this chunk, and if you enjoy, you can look out for the second part! Here it goes:

Will Herondale De-age fic (part 1)

“Jem?” Charlotte asked, incredulously. “Why, may I inquire, do you have a toddler in your arms?!”

“Mama!” The toddler, who looked an awful lot like someone Charlotte knew, squealed. He began frantically squirming in Jem’s arms, and reaching out to Charlotte, desperate for her to hold him.

Charlotte took the toddler from Jem’s arms. He shot her a grateful look as the child ceased his squirming and put his head on her shoulder and promptly began playing with a loose strand on the bodice of her dress.

“Whose child is this? And why does he think I’m his mother? And why does he look exactly like Will?”

“That’s because he is Will.”

Jem must have gone mad. That was the only other explanation. “James Carstairs, there better be a good explanation as to why you seemed to have kidnapped a child from the streets!”

“I did not! That is Will, Charlotte. Somehow, he got turned into a—a child while we were patrolling.”

“What do you mean?! Who did this to him?”

“I don’t know! I was not present at the moment. All I know is that I went to go find him and there he was!”

Charlotte held the boy at an arm's length and looked at his face. Sure enough, the little boy had eyes the color of blue glass. His unruly raven hair curled in a pile on top of his head. He stared at her and she knew.

“By the Angel!” Charlotte exclaimed.

The child—Will— giggled.

“Oh, Will. What happened to you?”

“Lottie, have you seen my—” Henry paused as he came into the threshold and looked at little Will. “Whose child is that?”

“Ours, apparently.”

Henry looked at her, confused. “What?”

“It’s Will.”

“Will? But Will is sixteen. Why is he so tiny?”

“That’s what we are trying to figure out.”

“Papa!” Will exclaimed, opening and closing his fists. 

Henry’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m not your father.” He said. Charlotte noted that he looked at her back, perhaps so horrified, he was hoping to hide from Will’s gaze by moving behind Charlotte.

“You’re not?” Will asked, his voice so small, Charlotte had to suppress the “aw” that was building up in her heart.

Henry seemed to think it was adorable too, and not nearly as frightening, because when he spoke again, it was softly. “No, I’m Henry.” 

Will nodded. “Papa.”

Henry shot a look at Charlotte. The want to coo at Will was short-lived. She was about to pull out her hair in stress of what to do.

“Here, Henry. Hold Will for a moment, would you?” She said, putting him in Henry’s arms. 

Henry looked tense for a moment, not knowing what to do, until Will wrapped his arms around his neck tightly. A small smile spread across Henry’s face.

“Who do we call?” Charlotte said, “what will the consul say? He’ll think we killed Will and tried to replace him with a Nephilim child. He won’t even try us with the mortal sword. This is so absurd, it wouldn’t be necessary.” 

“Charlotte, I still feel our Parabatai bond; it’s peculiar and faint, but it’s still there.”

“Is it still on him?” Charlotte asked. 

“I haven’t checked yet.” Jem said. “The first thing I did was come home, I–I didn’t know what else to do, Charlotte. I panicked!” 

“It’s alright, Jemmy.” Charlotte said, patting his shoulder, “we will figure it out and fix this.”

Charlotte turned to Henry and Will. The latter was snuggled up against Henry’s shoulder and sucking his thumb, perfectly content to stay there for the rest of the day. 

Charlotte walked towards them and moved his thumb and pulled his shirt down just enough to see the edges of where his parabatai rune began. 

“He still has his runes.” Henry said.

Charlotte shook her head. “He has only his Parabatai and Clairvoyance rune. Whatever dark magic he’s under cannot break something as sacred and powerful as a shadowhunter’s first rune nor the Parabatai rune. Which is a relief for when we manage to change him back.”

“Do you think we’ll be able to change him back?” Jem said, a worried expression on his face as he looked at his parabatai. 

Charlotte put her arms around him. “Of course we will, Jem. Don’t you fret.”

…

“He’s much more pleasant when he can’t talk much.” Sophie said, side-eyeing Will as he padded around the room. He stopped in front of her and offered her the cog Henry had given him to keep him entertained. Sophie took it hesitantly, and Will tottered away, in search of something else. 

“He’s definitely more affectionate.”

“Well,” Jem said, “the innocence of childhood.”

“Right,” Sophie said slowly, looking around the room, before turning back around, saying she had work to attend to, but that she’d come back if her help was necessary.

Jem began reading the book in his lap, but he found that he was reading without processing the words, and he kept having to read the same paragraph over and over again. No matter how many times he read it, all he could think about was how the last time he checked his parabatai rune, it seemed to be getting lighter; a dark gray instead of it’s normal, stark black. He hadn’t told Charlotte yet, though.

Speaking of Charlotte, she was speaking, now. “It would need to be a trusted warlock.” she said, before she was interrupted by a tugging on her dress. She froze and turned her gaze downward to find Will, his blue eyes wide open, staring up at her. He put his hands up and Charlotte sighed as she bent down and picked him up. “As I was saying,” she continued. “A trusted warlock would be necessary. I don’t want to know what would happen if the Clave were to find out about our…situation.”

With Will’s head rested on Charlotte’s collarbone and his fingers playing with her necklace, Jem realized two things. The first was that Charlotte looked like the symbol of empowerment; she was a defender of the fact that just because women were mothers, it didn’t mean they were any less capable of leading a group of people, nor that they are, by any means, weaker. The second was that Charlotte was less of an older sister and more of a mother than any of them had thought. The same went for Henry. No matter how old they thought they were, they all still relied on Henry and Charlotte, and they needed them more than they cared to admit. 

“Who can we trust?”

“That is the question of the century, Jem.” Charlotte sighed. 

“I can’t imagine Ragnor Fell would say anything to the Clave. We could ask him.” Henry suggested.

“Except he never seems to be available.” Charlotte said.

It’s true; even Jem knew that Ragnor wasn’t very keen on assisting the Branwells for matters that he wasn’t forced to do. 

“However,” Charlotte continued. “I will send a message to him regardless, as it won’t hurt to try, and there is nobody else I could think that wouldn’t report to the Clave.”

“It's a good thing that the only thing Ragnor hates more than us is the Clave.”

Henry frowned, “Ragnor hates us?”

“No, darling, he just hates helping us with our problems.”

Henry’s frown deepened, like the idea of not wanting to help people confused him greatly. 

“Miss!” Sophie exclaimed, coming into the room, a little bit breathless, suggesting that she had sprinted there. 

“Sophie, what’s the matter?”

“The Consul,” she gasped, “he’s here!”

Charlotte’s eyes widened. “By the Angel!” She thrusted Will into Henry’s arms. “Hide him!” 

She followed Sophie out of the room, putting on a mask of cool calmness. “And don’t look suspicious.”

She closed the door behind her and Henry whirled to face Jem. “Where do we put him?!” He asked.

Jem shrugged, and looked around the room frantically. 

“You two are hopeless.” Jessamine said with cool indifference, as she slipped off her glove and examined her fingernails.

“What about here?” Henry asked, sitting Will down on a bookshelf. Will giggled, falling off. Henry let out a yell and caught him before he could hit the ground. 

“Yes, Mr. Consul, right this way.” Charlotte was saying.

Henry’s eyes widened in panic. As the doors opened, he quickly hid Will behind he’s back. 

“He’s right here.” Charlotte said, gesturing to Henry.

“Mr. Branwell,” Consul Wayland said. “I have to speak with you on matters concerning…” he frowned at the outstretched hand Henry hadn’t shaken yet and then he squinted his eyes. “Is that a child behind you?”

The residents of the London Institute held their breaths (well, except for Jessamine, of course) before Henry finally spoke.

“Er—yes. We’re playing hide-and-seek.”

“Hide-and-seek.”

“Why yes, it’s a game played by children for entertainment in which—”

“Yes, Mr. Branwell, I know what hide-and-seek is.” Said the Consul, annoyed. “Anyway, there is an issue with a group of werewolves from Bath, who are migrating to London and you’d do well to keep an eye on them in the next few weeks.”

“And why would we do that? Surely they haven’t done anything wrong in Bath.” Charlotte said. 

The Consul ignored her. “It is of utmost importance you report any strange behaviors.”

“My wife asked you a question, Consul Wayland. I should think it’s important and that it should be answered.”

“Did she now?” The Consul asked, unenthusiastically.

“As a matter of fact, she did.”

“It’s alright, Henry. We’ll look into it, Consul Wayland. Thank you for the personal message.” Charlotte said, diplomatically, leading him away from the library and out the door.

The Consul paused. “Who’s child even is that?”

“A Nephilim family from Idris needed someone to watch over one of their children while they attended a funeral.” Henry said, without skipping a beat.

“Yes. Henry and I agreed to watch over this little one for the afternoon.” Charlotte said sadly. “It was the least we could do.”

“Oh, which family?”

“The Cartwrights.” Henry said.

 “Oh. Well, best wishes.”

“Thank you very much.” Charlotte said. “Sophie will see you out.”

The Consul nodded and turned back around, striding out of the room with Sophie in tow.

Jem released the breath he had been holding in since Sophie brought the message about the Consul’s arrival.

“Why the Cartwrights?” he asked.

Charlotte took a fussing Will from Henry’s arms and smoothed down his hair. “Oh, yes! Henry darling that was brilliant! The Cartwrights have so many children that nobody can keep track of each one. And there actually is a funeral being held today, though I don’t suppose the Consul will look into whether they are actually there or not.”

Jem raised his eyebrows before asking, “Well, what now?”

“We keep working.” Charlotte said with a sigh.

...

Tagging: 

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[robininthelabyrinth]

NMJ is in Cloud Recesses while LWJ is being punished for visiting WWX at Burial Mounds. LXC tells him what happened, and the 2 decide to go there to see with their own eyes exactly what is going on. A-Yuan has them wrapped around his little finger in .5 seconds, and NMJ is not inclined to put him down. Also, WQ takes one look at him and tells him he's deviating and he's gonna die in less than a year if it's not cured. He might just be in love.

“Your brother is being punished?” Nie Mingjue asked, more than a little surprised. “Your brother? Did we switch brothers again?”

Lan Xichen had to press his lips together to stop from laughing at the reminder of that time when they’d tried to swap the two babies (well, baby and toddler) while their elders had been distracted during a discussion conference – Nie Mingjue’s father was always complaining about how weak and low-energy his new son was, while Lan Qiren scowled about how much noise Lan Zhan made, and they’d thought it was a perfect solution to both problems. It hadn’t worked, of course, given the difference a year made for very young children, and they’d both been punished (while their elders coughed badly-suppressed laughter into their sleeves), but all in all it’d been an interesting first meeting.

“He visited the Burial Mounds without permission,” he explained. “Uncle was very upset.”

“Your uncle isn’t sect leader,” Nie Mingjue said, a little sharply. He’d had some struggles for control and respect when he became sect leader himself, given how young he’d been – at the time Lan Xichen had thought they were being ridiculous, though in retrospect he realized with a pang exactly how much of his friend’s childhood had been lost to a responsibility exceeding that of even most adults – and it remained a sensitive subject. “And merely visiting a place isn’t against your family rules…you approved the punishment, then?”

Lan Xichen hesitated, because he hadn’t. Approval wasn’t considered as necessary in the Lan sect as it was in the Nie; elders were allowed to discipline juniors without consulting the Sect Leader even when it was outside the family rules – the two of them often argued whether such a system left openings for abuse (Nie Mingjue’s position) or encouraged trust (Lan Xichen’s view). 

“Well, he went without permission,” he temporized.

Nie Mingjue snorted, seeing through the excuse at once. “He hasn’t needed to get permission to go places even before he fought in a war, Xichen,” he pointed out. “He was a very good general.”

That was very high praise, from Nie Mingjue, with particular emphasis on Lan Wangji’s reliable judgment; otherwise, he would have used different words.

“It’s the Burial Mounds,” Lan Xichen insisted, still trying to defend his uncle’s judgment. “Wei Wuxian is dangerous –”

“So is night-hunting.”

“You’re just being contrary for the sake of arguing with me,” Lan Xichen said. Nie Mingjue didn’t deny it, though he wouldn’t: it was a measure of his trust in Lan Xichen that he would break etiquette enough to casually pick a fight like this. “Fine, have it your way: I’ll put an end to the punishment now, and we’ll go ourselves to Yiling. If it’s more dangerous than night-hunting, the punishment resumes; if it’s less, it’s absolved, and I will apologize to Wangji myself. Agreed?”

“How did I get roped into this?” Nie Mingjue pretended to complain. “What business is it of mine how your Lan sect teaches its disciples…? But since you insist, I will of course accompany you.”

“Your acquiescence is appreciated – even if a less polite man than I might speculate that you just don’t want to meet with all the minor sect leaders that routinely take advantage of your visits to come by with requests.”

Nie Mingjue didn’t smile – he never did, anymore, which was a pity – but his brow wasn’t furrowed in anger for once, and that was very nearly the same.

Lan Xichen was just as inclined to avoid the inevitable pestering as Nie Mingjue, so he put his plan into action at once and headed out before his uncle could notice what was going on outside his door – not that it was a problem if his uncle objected, of course, he was the sect leader now, but still, why start trouble that could be avoided? Especially since Lan Xichen was going with Nie Mingjue, which significantly lessened the chance of danger; there was little that could stand up against the two of them together. Including Wei Wuxian’s defensive arrays, brilliant as they were, which shattered after a few gestures - after all, it wouldn’t be much of an evaluation if there was time for the Yiling Patriarch to cover things up while they were waiting for permission to enter.

Not that there seemed to be much to cover up.

The Burial Mounds weren’t anything at all like what Lan Xichen had heard, and judging by the increasingly black look on Nie Mingjue’s face, the same was true for him; the ragged collection of farmers tending to an even more ragged collection of crops was far away from the roving army of fierce corpses Wei Wuxian was reputed to be raising here.

“He’s not raising people,” Lan Xichen murmured.

“Well, one,” Nie Mingjue said. Lan Xichen turned to look, but it appeared that what Nie Mingjue was referring to was a small child, buried waist deep into the mud and beaming about it. Lan Xichen gave Nie Mingjue a look, because now was not the appropriate moment for his friend’s deeply buried sense of humor to re-emerge as if greeting the spring…great, now he was making planting jokes, even if only within his own mind. “Xichen, there are hardly any cultivators here.”

“The remnants of the Wen sect?” Lan Xichen guessed, politely ignoring the piece of spiced meat Nie Mingjue had taken out from his pocket to give to the child, who was trying to wiggle his way out of the dirt in order to demand a ride on Nie Mingjue’s shoulders. “I hadn’t realized they were quite so reduced. Rumor seems to have blown things quite out of proportion…”

“Don’t touch him!” a woman snapped, and they both turned; her clothing was faded, but still recognizable as the colors of the Wen sect, and Lan Xichen could feel the way Nie Mingjue tensed, the way Baxia, on his back, began to quiver in anticipation. “A-Yuan, come here, quick.”

“No!” the child said, clinging to Nie Mingjue’s leg. “I wanna ride!”

“I don’t give rides to radishes,” Nie Mingjue said, his eyes still fixed on the approaching woman – Wen Qing, if Lan Xichen is recalling her name correctly. A doctor, once. “Didn’t you say you were a radish?”

“I’m human! I’m human!”

“If you’re a human, you need to listen to your seniors. Get her permission first.”

“You don’t have it,” Wen Qing snapped. “Get away from him at once, A-Yuan. That man is dangerous.”

“We don’t mean any harm,” Lan Xichen interjected quickly before things went south.

“You may not,” she said. “But the one next to you is halfway down the road to a qi deviation; I wouldn’t trust him with any child, least of all one of blood that he despises.”

There was no way to salvage this, but Lan Xichen was determined to try regardless. “Lady Wen –”

“If I recall correctly, her title was Supervisory Office Leader.” Nie Mingjue’s voice was cold and biting. “In Yiling, no less. If I recall correctly, Office Leader Wen Qing refused to dirty her hands by raising a sword directly, and, valued as she was by Wen Ruohan, he did not force her. And so Yiling became a place to keep prisoners – isn’t that right?”

“I was a doctor,” she said, voice equally stiff. “I cared for all sick and injured without distinction –”

“Until they were well enough to be executed –”

“We are guests here, Mingjue-xiong,” Lan Xichen reminded him desperately. “And the war is over, and Lady Wen is a civilian now.”

“She’s still a cultivator,” Nie Mingjue said through gritted teeth. “I do not generally permit cultivators of any sect to say that I harm children; would you prefer I challenge her to defend her words against my saber? I am willing – Office Leader Wen can name the time and place. Unless she prefers to continue to hide behind the cloak of the powerful?”

This was a disaster.

“No one is fighting anyone,” Lan Xichen said firmly. “Lady Wen will apologize for the implication, said in a moment of anger and out of concern for her…for her young relative; in return, we will apologize for arriving without an invitation or forewarning, and then we will all limit ourselves to saying only polite things.”

Both of them open their mouths to protest, and he adds sharply, “Now, if you please.”

He shot Nie Mingjue a look, urging him to recall that he was here at Lan Xichen’s invitation, and his friend scowled but begrudgingly nodded his agreement. Lan Xichen turned his stare onto Wen Qing next – her lips were pressed tightly together, unwilling to yield, but after a few seconds, she finally gave in.

“The implication was wrongly said, and inappropriate,” she said begrudgingly. “Sect Leader Nie’s strict discipline and ethical code are well-known. Even in battle, I’ve never heard of you attacking children…your qi is unsettled, though.”

“That isn’t any of your business,” he said, and she shrugged.

“You’re right, it isn’t, except that you’ve challenged me as a monster when I believe myself to be a doctor,” she said, and now it was her turn to cross her arms. “My own ethical code demands that I treat any injury in those I see; if I fail to do so, then my forbearance during all those years of war will be rendered meaningless and I’d be as guilty as you say I am.”

“I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts as a doctor,” Lan Xichen said, deciding to ignore the way the two of them were still glaring daggers at each other. “I’ve read your works before; they were highly innovative.”

They both looked at him as though he was absolutely crazy, pretending that there hadn’t been a war since the last time one of Wen Qing’s medical texts had been passed around at a discussion conference, but Lan Xichen was determined to ignore the awkwardness until it passed and he smiled that determination right at the two of them until they both gave in.

“You may as well come in for lunch,” she finally said. “We don’t have much, but we’ll share it.”

“We can share our provisions as well,” Lan Xichen said. “Thank you for the invitation…is Wei Wuxian not here? I would have thought he’d have come running with all the noise we’re making.”

“No, he’s down the mountain,” Wen Qing said, rubbing at her nose and turning to lead them further into their camp – there were some tables set out, clearly made by those lacking experience in carpentry. “His shijie’s wedding is coming up soon…he’s trying to find materials for a gift.”

Lan Xichen hummed agreeably, and elbowed Nie Mingjue. His friend scowled further, but obediently picked up the line of polite conversation. Or, his view of it, anyway. “What are you planning on sending?”

Wen Qing stopped and turned to look at him. “What? Me? Why would I send anything? I don’t know her.”

Nie Mingjue looked at her in disbelief. “Your benefactor’s shijie is marrying, and you’re not sending anything? Do you want to be accepted by the cultivation world or not?”

“I don’t think a wedding present is going to be the thing that helps convince the cultivation world that we’re not all blood-sucking demons.”

“Why not?” Nie Mingjue said. “My ancestors were butchers; you think the gentlemen cultivators of the other sect, whether yours or Xichen’s, accepted them as a legitimate sect at the start? The only way to win legitimacy is to force everyone to accept you as you are.”

Wen Qing had an expression on her face that suggested she hadn’t thought of that.

“They call Wei Wuxian the Yiling Patriatch,” Lan Xichen said thoughtfully. “A patriarch should have a sect beneath him, shouldn’t he? And it’s the sect leader’s right hand’s duty to send gifts on behalf of the sect, in addition to any personal gifts sent on behalf of the sect leader himself.”

“…even if I wanted to send something on behalf of - of Yiling Wei, or whatever, we don’t have anything.”

Lan Xichen smiled. “Neither did the Cloud Recesses, during the years of war. You’re very fortunate: etiquette covers that precise situation, and suggests you reach out to another sect to borrow something. That helps bind your sects closer together as allies in the future – and before you say you don’t have anyone to ask, you have two Sect Leaders right here.”

Wen Qing appeared dumbstruck. “Would you share?”

Nie Mingjue huffed. “We’re not so poor that we can’t afford to lend out wedding gifts,” he said. “Even to a criminal. If you’re a sect, you’re a sect - this would hardly be the first sect that hosts someone I want to see dead.”

“I’m pretty sure that would be most of them,” Lan Xichen laughed. “I’ve seen you at parties.”

Maybe this wouldn’t be a complete disaster after all.

[peachyunjinnie]

❝love me again❞ hyj ― a.

― summary:

after your 2 year relationship with hyunjin ended he came into your life again as your roommates new boyfriend and your feelings play with you. not just you having feelings again he falls for you and you two relive the reason why you fell for each other.

exboyfriendl!hyunjin/female!reader | angst | 1.7k ↬ content warnings: kinda (?) cheating, mention of suicide and self-harm.

a/n: i am not a good angst writer buuuuut i got the request to do this and i really tried my very best ! enjoy !!

→ blogs masterlist

“I really want you to get yourself together, Y/N.” my roommate told me for the hundredth time now. I rolled my eyes and sighed at her.

“Em’ I am not going to do anything, it’s your boyfriend not the president.” I saw her brushing her dress down and having her big eyes on the mirror. Her dress looked so adorable and her effort for this dude is kinda funny. 

You can say that I am a little bitter after my first ever breakup with the one who shouldn’t be said in this household. Even Emma doesn’t even know anything about the one who shall not be named. 

“I know but I want him to like me and my best friend.” She turned around to face me and to give off her smile. She really wanted to make everything perfect. 

“Come on Emma, you two have been together for a month now and he seems really nice from what you said. He will like you no matter what the people around you do or say.” I gave her a small pat on the shoulder as I lied down and closed my eyes for a small power nap. 

This power nap was very needed after I had to endure her love talk the whole night. I was very happy for her, I really am. But having to hear ‘He is so tall, he is so soft but still hot. He is so handsome and looks like a model.’ got me thinking how I am going to hide those dark circles. 

“Get ready, Y/N! He will meet us in 3 hours and we need 30 minutes to drive and you need to get ready with your dress and your make up and your hair and-” She took a deep breath and continued to search for some of her accessories.

“I am so nervous, Jesus.” I could hear her heartbeat on the drivers seat and I leaned against the window.  

Her reaction really reminded me of my relationship and it was the most intense thing I’ve been through with the feelings and the butterflies. I ran around my whole mall to get the perfects eye look or run around my closet to get the perfect matching clothing for him. I completely changed myself for him and was willing to do more than what I would’ve done for anyone.

“Y/N!” Her voice echoed in my head and I woke up from my memories. 

“Wha-what?” I looked around and saw the restaurant on the left side of us.

“We’re here, but we are a little early. So again, what are we gonna do...?” She asked and gave me a reassuring simper.

“I know. socialize and be nice.” I said like a toddler to it’s mom. Ridiculous, I have to be here and see a guy that I don’t even know anything of. I don’t know his name, age nor do I know how he looks. To be 100% honest with you I want to be here for Em’ but I would much rather be at home and just live my holiday life.

“Good girl! Now come we have to be there before he comes.” She took my hand and gave it a small squeeze. But before I could get out of the car, she hugged me tightly. She let out a a little sob and I directly hugged her tighter.

“I am so happy that you’re here to help me, I appreciate it so much.” Her hands holding me to her with no space between us two.

And exactly there I noticed why she is my best friend, and how I should really try to get her boyfriend to like her even more than he obviously already does. 

“Of course, I will try.” I let go of her and looked at her small tears forming in her eyes. She laughed a little and I wiped them away, her big eyes still having a sad look in them

“I’m so grateful that I met you, and I really want you two to get together better. Because you two are the most important people in my life.” She smiled and my heart broke a little and my eyes started to sweat. 

“Em’, come on. I will do my best and get him to like me, okay?” She gave me a small hug again and has gotten out of the car. I sat there on the passengers seat for a small bit and collected myself, did breathing exercises and stepped out of the car. She waited at the entrance and looked at me for the last time with her ‘get your shit together’ look. 

After her stepping inside this diner-like restaurant Em’ ran to the 2nd row on the left. She directly saw someone and this really tall figure stood up and hugged her, after giving her a small kiss on the cheek. His back was turned to me, as I was still standing on the entrance. 

She grabbed his hand and dragged him to me and as he turned around I couldn’t believe my eyes. This dude that I didn’t know the name of nor the face or pretty much anything, is of fucking course hwang hyunjin. But it looked like I wasn’t the only one who was surprised to see the very familiar face. His eyes grew to the double size and his motions and movements seemed stiff and weird, like someone just spoilered him the end of the best movie ever. 

“So Y/N, I want to introduce you- are you two okay?” Emma’s worried look switched to me and Hyunjin. Her hands touching his biceps but no reaction. His eyes glued and stayed on mine, The longer I looked into his shocked eyes, the more memories bubbled out of my suppressed memory. I couldn’t escape his warm eyes. Moments have passed and I came to me again, I looked around me and spotted the bathroom and with another last look at Hyunjin, I quickly went to the bathroom. 

I fled into the first stall and just sat there a blank face, way too shocked to cry at this point. Of fucking course destiny had to make my life even worse than it already is by getting this boy to enter my life again. My breathing became uneasy, my eyes still blankly starring into nothing all of the memories I have made with him hit me harder than ever before. Every touch, every word...every kiss. It was haunting my head with a bitter aftertaste. 

I heard the croaking door opening, steps coming closer and closer until I saw the black leather shoes and the voice of Hyunjin could be heard. After all this time his voice has not changed a single bit, the same deep and smooth velvet voice. All of the strength I have built up is now slowly crashing down. It is all collapsing, all of the healing process I had behind me were now completely destroyed, demolished, wrecked...forgotten.

“Y/N, I- I.” He didn’t say anything and pressed his forehead against the stall door. He was now living through the whole breakup once again, tears slowly running down his cheeks. His whole body was shaking and his mind was going crazy. He regretted every single day of even having the idea of letting go of you, of leaving you...of hurting you. He was closing his eyes shut and who were now bashed red. 

I sat there for a short while before opening the door and rushing into his arms. I have never felt better in any other place than his long and slender arms. His body was trembling against mine and his teardrops fell down onto my shoulder. He was clutching on me, his sobs filling the bathroom. 

“I am so sorry, I don’t want to leave you.” He was sobbing hardly on my shoulder, I squeezed his lower body. All of these sleepless nights and all of these tears. I couldn’t believe how I could forget all of those moments that have changed me as a person. It’s because I-I still after all those months love him.

“I needed you, what did I do? was it me?” I cried out and with these simple questions he stopped the hug and held my face in his big hands.

“I was naive and dumb. I thought I didn’t need anyone in my life. I was a douche and an idiot to ever let you out of my life. I was never depressed, but after realizing my mistake...I couldn’t live, I-I can’t live without you.” his hands still cupping my face, the look of pure fear in his eyes.

“I wanted you back but after what I did nobody wanted to tell me where you are or give me your contact. My whole life was falling apart without you here. I-I then saw you on the profile pic of this girl and I just had to see you.” He smiled and his eyes were still not getting rid of the tears in them.

“We have to go to her, she is in love with you...” 

“I broke up with her after seeing you, I had to.” He caressed my swollen face and my pinched red cheeks. A thousand thoughts rushed through my head and at the same time I had a blank canvas up there.

I could not believe what I just did but my body reacted in a way where every control I should have is now missing me. My lips reconnected with his and every single cell in my body craved for his lips, for so long. His eyes were closed and every moment you two had lived through now played in his mind, your smile, your personality, your eyes...everything was playing in his mind. He couldn’t believe that his first and last wants him as much as he does.

[beelshamburger]

This was my gift for @starautocon for the Obey Me Secret Santa 2020 event! I hope you like it :D

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Star looked at the ground as she sat on the chair. Normally she would be comfortable or feel at home in Lucifer’s room, but this time it was different. She was in trouble.

She didn’t mean to hurt the demon so badly. Not like that. But they were being such assholes, they were practically begging for her to beat them up. Those spoiled brats.

They were this demon gang, some guys who were far too cocky and rude. They used to bully whoever they found were weaker than them. Their leader was a complete asshole, and would always tease any little demon that was around.

Eventually, they decided to make fun of Luke.

Hell no.

They started teasing him whenever they passed him by the hall, or found him alone in the classroom, and of course when Star noticed, she had to intervene.

Still, they hadn’t stopped and had decided to tease her instead.

So they had been getting on her nerves for a while, teasing her and insulting her whenever the demon brothers weren’t near. At one point, it had become too much, and before she knew it, Starbreaker was out and she beat those demons to a pulp. She was far too mad, too angry to even think straight. So she didn’t even flinch as she sliced open her opponents arm with her trusty dagger. Or cut off a demons ear.

Before she could get to the third demon though, Satan and Lucifer quickly came inside the classroom and grabbed her arms, trying to restrain her. While Simeon ushered her away to the nurses office, Star watched from the corner of her eye as Lucifer and Satan turned in their demon forms and made their way to the other demons. She smirked, satisfied that at least Satan and Lucifer were going to make those demons regret their actions.

But that didn’t mean she was going to be let off scot free. Lucifer was definetly mad at her, and she knew she was going to get a long lecture when he opened the office door. The demon brothers never liked her getting into fights, they got worried, which was in a way sweet, but still made Star a bit mad that they didn’t seem to believe she could take care of herself.

When Lucifer came into the room, Star could feel the air grow colder, and she tried to suppress a shiver and keep her face as neutral as possible when Lucifer sat in front of her. He was definetly mad.

His face was pulled into a frown, and his eyes burned with anger. Star only stared back, trying to rebel in her own way. After minutes of silence, Lucifer sighed and ran a hand through his hair, leaning back on his chair.

“Will you explain to me why, when I left you alone for around five minutes, I come back to see you all bruised up fighting with some demons?”

Star glared. “They were being dicks to Luke. I was only trying to defend him, not my fault those assholes turned it into a fight.”

“It seems to me that you don’t understand that you’re in a place surrounded by demons, powerful ones at that-”

“I could still beat them up.”

Lucifer raised his hand and Star went quiet.

“I’m not worried about that. I’m more worried about them causing you any fatal wounds, they could still harm you. Besides that, you could be sent back home. You know if any exchange students are caused or cause harm to anyone,they’ll be sent back. Is that what you want?”

Star clenched her fists. “So did you just want me to stand back and watch as they teased Luke?”

“I’m not saying that, what you should have done is to call us, me or Satan, even Barbatos.”

“Oh sure, and not teach those guys a lesson? If I had called any of you, sure, they would have stopped, but just for a little while. They’ll never understand that even weak people can take care of themselves, and they’ll keep teasing eveeyone. By beating them up, I honestly feel like I did them a favor. Now they’ll think twice when they bully someone.”

“Star you can’t just do this sort of thing and expect no consequences. You should think it through-”

“I DID think it through, seriously do you think I’m that stupid? I did know what the consequences are, and I did it knowing what could happen. You have to understand I can take care of myself.”

“Well, what if the situation had gotten out of control? What would you have done if Starbreaker had come out, and you weren’t able to control the outcome? You could have killed those demons, and I won’t be able to get out of that one. Why can’t you just sit still for a while?”

Star quickly shot up from her seat and grabbed Lucifers collar, and angry aura all around her.

“You can’t tell me what to do, stop treating me like a child Lucifer! Why can’t you just trust me for once, trust that I can do things on my own? I’m so tired of everyone treating me like a fragile doll, like I’m lesser than them. I want to be treated just like everyone else, on equal ground.”

Lucifer glared. “Now listen-”

“No! You listen Lucifer! I’m seriously so done with everyone, why can’t all of you understand, I’m not a child.” Star could quickly feel her anger rising, and that Starbreaker was trying to come out. She was getting real pissed off, especially because Lucifer couldn’t seem to...understand.

Lucifer quickly placed a hand on her shoulder, but Star shoved it away. “Seriously Lucifer! I thought that you could understand, yet you still want to treat me like I’m-like I’m, I don’t know a toddler?! Is that how you see me? Because honestly fuck you Lucifer.”

The room once again became colder, and Lucifer stared at you, his calm facade starting to wear off and his anger beginning to rise. Star realized that what she might have done was probably not the best thing, and she felt goosebumps rise at the back of her neck as Lucifer changed into his demon form and walked over to her.

“You don’t get to talk to me that way. I’m the one that’s taking care of you in the exchange program, therefore you do as I say, and I say that you hop off your high horse and try to understand how your actions could affect you, and the people around you. You ask to be treated as a grown up, yet here you are, throwing a tantrum because of something you did. Honestly it just makes me laugh. Sure, you’re powerful the same way me and my brothers are, but that still doesn’t change that you’re human. And don’t even get me started on how most of the times Starbreaker takes over, you loose control, and you know you do. What if you ended up killing those demons, huh? You would’ve been thrown in jail, maybe worse. You don’t know if they’re part of a bigger gang, if they’re friends with higher and more ruthless demons. What if they all wanted to take revenge on you? Star, I know you’re strong but I’m sure you wouldn’t have been able to fight all of them. They would’ve destroyed you sooner or later.”

Star bit her lip. She knew Lucifer was right, in a way. She didn’t know if those demons had other connections, and she really would have been screwed over if a large group were to attack her.

She only looked at the ground and sighed, then mumbled an apology and left the room. Lucifer didn’t stop her. He seemed to understand that she wanted some time alone,to think things thorough, and to calm down.

Star went up to her room.

.......

Eventually Satan gently knocked Star’s door, and came in. Star was sitting on the bed, still pretty angry, and she didn’t react when Satan sat beside her.

They sat in silence for a while, until Satan spoke up. “Why don’t you try that breathing excercise I taught you before?”

Star sighed but complied and did what Satan told her. They had been doing breathing exercises for about half an hour, and she had to admit that now she felt better.

“Thank you Satan.” She said, as she turned around to look at him. He only smiled and then nodded towards the door. “Well...I’m glad I could help....Lucifer is outside the door, by the way.” Star’s eyes widened and Satan shrugged. “I will leave you two to talk it out. As much as I like to mess with him, I hate it if it’s you who ends up with the short end of the stick. If he says anything hurtful though, feel free to call me so I can punch him. I’ll be in the library.”

Star tried to smile to show how grateful she was. Satan had helped her a lot after all.

Satan opened the door to her room, and just like he said, Lucifer was standing outside, waiting for him to leave. Star couldn’t really tell, but she thought she felt the aura around Satan shift as he passed Lucifer. He was probably giving him a death stare to warm him. Star shuddered.

When Satan was gone, Lucifer closed the door and looked at Star. She was trying her best not to look at him directly though. Finally, after a few moments of awkard silence, Lucifer sighed and sat beside Star in her bed.

“I’m sorry.” He said.

Star sighed. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

Lucifer shook his head. “Don’t be. I can understand why you would feel frustrated by the way we’re treating you...you were right. We have been treating you as if you can’t take care of yourself when, you actually can. I want to apologize if it seemed like I didn’t trust you, or as if I thought you were lesser than me. You’re not. I just...I really worry Star.”

“I know...but you have to let me do things for myself. I appreciate your help, but there are thing that I prefer doing on my own.”

“You just have to take better care of yourself Star. You can’t keep throwing yourself at every demon you see.”

Star opened her mouth to protest but Lucifer held up his hand. “Listen. It’s not because I’m afraid that you won’t come out alive or something of the such. I know you are strong. I’m just afraid that there will be a time where you will find someone who’s able to beat you. Not only that, I’m afraid that...you will be taken away. You know the rules of the exchange program, and if you fight other demons, no matter who ends up getting hurt, you will be brought back to earth. We just can’t allow anything bad to happen...and I don’t want you to go away...”

Star looked at Lucifer, wide eyed and blushed a bit. Lucifer had never been one to express his feelings like...like that. Honestly Star had never seen him so vulnerable. It was kind of cute in a way, yet her heart ached as she thought about what she had done. Lucifer was just trying to protect her, but not because he didn’t think she couldn’t do it herself, but because he didn’t want her to leave.

Star gently placed a hand on Lucifer’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry.” She whispered.

Lucifer shook his head, and then leaned his forehead against hers. “You’re just...you’re really important to me. Did you know that? You have changed me and my brother’s lives so much. You have become part of our family, and while doing that you somehow managed to bury yourself deep into my heart. And now I don’t want to let you go.”

Star felt herself blush as she looked up at Lucifer. “I...I really like you Lucifer. I really do. I’m so sorry for...for not being considerate about your feelings...you were trying to take care of me. Thank you. I will never leave you. I promise that I’ll behave.”

Lucifer smirked and in a playful tone replied, “you better, or next time I’m hanging you from the ceiling like Mammon.”

Star gasped. “You do that and I will actually destroy you.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

The both of them smiled, and spent the rest of the evening cuddling. While Star couldn’t really promise not to stop fighting at all, she did say that she would try to control herself a bit more.

Thankfully the demons didn’t come back the next day. Or the next. Or the next. Star wondered what could’ve happened to them, but neither Lucifer or Satan answered her questions. It was until one morning that she heard some classmates talking about the issue. They were both whispering, saying that Lucifer may or may not have done something to them (theories were that he made them carry a Boulder for a thousand years, or that he made them hang upside down for a long time. Others went to other extremes though, saying that Lucifer had literally banished them from existence.) Lucifer never confirmed or denied, but he did say that whatever had happened to them,they deserved. After all, he never really forgave them for hurting Star.

They also became a lot more closer, since Lucifer would spend more time with Star. She felt a bit offended thinking that it may have been because he still didn’t trust her to take care of herself, but she also couldn’t stop feeling that it was maybe because he wanted to be with her all day. And that thought always made her feel giddy. Sometimes alucifer would catch her looking at him (probably because she was still trying to figure out what the hell he wanted) and he would smile at her, this warm, loving smile. And Star would always smile back.

The end!

[nickelkeep]

Together We’re Golden

Pairing: Dean/Cas Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 6.8k Warnings: De-Aged!Sam Written For: nickel’s storytime On Ao3

Witches. It was always fucking witches. Dean knew as well as anyone that not all witches were bad. The natural-born ones? They were usually cool. They often weren't power-hungry, cause they already had their magic. But those who made deals with demons? They were assholes, one-hundred percent.

And of course, the case Sam found? One of those. It had started simple, putting a pox on the competition for a promotion at work. Then they won a vast sweepstake. But, as it always inevitably does with those who got their magic from demons, things went South. Someone was nosy, a hunter went in, and boom. A dead body that the coroner was trying to explain.

And it was why Dean was cavorting around an abandoned warehouse, Sam and Cas somewhere in there as well, looking for the bastard... bastardess? Whatever this witch was, they were a bitch, and Dean had the witch-killing bullets to stop them from causing more harm.

As he rounded the corner, listening quietly for the sounds of anyone. Sam's moose-length gait was distinguishable anywhere, and even if Cas could sneak up on him, Dean could recognize the sound of the rubber heels hitting upon the linoleum in a distinct pattern.

He closed his eyes for a moment and made out the sound of Sam's footfall, the pause between each step due to the length of his legs. But before Dean could signal to his brother, the sound he had been waiting for occurred: the fast clip-clop of kitten heels, most likely sneaking up on Sam.

Dean jumped out from behind his cover and saw the witch sneaking up behind Sam. His movement caught Sam's attention, and Dean called to him as he raised his gun. "Get down!"

Sam ducked, just as the witch cried out. "Abi!" Dean took the brunt of the spell, as Sam unknowingly dodged it, and flew back, hitting a wall as he landed. Sam was knocked to his knees, and his gun skittered across the floor.

"Sammy! Move!" Dean cried to his brother as he tried to make his vision stop swimming.

"How cute. More hunters." The witch moved up to Sam, stepping on the back of his knee and pinning him in place. She placed her hand on his back and started to chant. "Adulta est tibi puer et vade."

Sam started to glow, and Dean shook his head, his vision still floating. Dean felt powerless as he tried to aim at the witch when she suddenly started to glow herself, golden rays of light emitting from her eyes.

Cas.

Her mouth opened in a soundless scream, more light pouring from her mouth as she collapsed to the ground. Cas quickly stepped over and moved to check on Sam.

"Cas!?" Dean pushed himself to a sitting position, cursing the hallway spinning around him. "Cas, is Sam okay?"

A small pathetic whimper was Dean's reply as Cas bent down and picked up a little boy into his arms. Dean's jaw dropped. It had easily been years since he'd seen that haircut, or that size for that matter, but there was no doubt. Cas had picked up a child Sam and was holding him in his arms.

"Sammy?" Dean pushed himself up to a kneeling position as Cas brought Sam closer, the young version clinging tightly to the angel.

"De!" Sammy whimpered into Cas' chest. He hid his face as Cas crouched down.

"Sam, can you please go to Dean, while I check on him, please?" Cas asked, his voice soft and calming. "Dean wants to know you're okay." Cas waited until Sam's feet were on the floor and let him go.

"De!" Sam ran from Cas' arms to Dean's, hugging him tightly. "De, scared."

"I know, Sammy. I know." Dean squeezed Sam gently as Cas pressed two fingers against his temple, relieving him of the concussion he got from the witch's blast. "Are you hurt? Does Cas need to heal anything?"

Sam shook his head against Dean's chest. "No."

"No, because you don't hurt, or no because Cas is scary?" Dean was fully aware of the bitchface Cas shot him at that comment.

"No owwie." Sam looked up at Cas, his big hazel eyes wet with tears. "Cas good."

"Of course Cas is good, Sammy." Dean looked at his brother, trying to hide his disbelief in seeing a toddler Sam again. "Cas is our friend, right?"

"Best friend!" Sam giggled through his tears, then pointed at Dean. "Boyfriend!"

Dean sputtered at Sam's exclamation before staring up at Cas. "Kids say the damnedest things, don't they?" He stood up and looked down at Sam, who was barely covered by the moose-sized shirt. "I know you just used your mojo on me, Buddy, but do you think you can do something about Sam's clothes? We need to get out of here, and we don't need Sam running around like this."

Cas smirked - why, Dean had no clue - and nodded. He walked back to where Sam had been cursed and grabbed the rest of the clothes. He handed them to Dean. "Put them on the ground the best you can, have him stand in them, and I'll shrink them to size."

"You're a genius, Cas." He adjusted Sam's clothes, and put a very squirmy Sam into them. "While I can hold him still, please."

Cas aimed his palm at Sam, and Dean watched in awe as the clothes shrunk to fit Sam. Even the shoes that had looked ridiculous on such a tiny body shrunk to fit Sam. "How you feel, Sammy?"

"Wanna go."

"Then we're gonna go." Dean held his arms down to Sam, offering to pick him up.

"CAS!" Sam pointed at the angel then ran over to him, reaching up to be lifted.

Cas shot a look at Dean, and while Dean couldn't clearly read it, he ventured to guess it was a look of concern. "Sammy trusts you, dude. If you want to pick him up, it's cool." Dean suppressed a laugh as Cas let out a sigh and bent down to pick up Sam. "Don't look like such a grump ass, Cas. How often will you ever say you got to pick up Sam?"

"I can pick him up at his regular size, Dean. I'm an angel." Cas commented, annoyance and sass clear in tone.

Dean pulled out his phone and snapped a picture. "Yeah, well, you don't get to do this every day."

"What was that for?" Cas squinted at Dean.

"I'm sending it to Rowena." Dean chuckled as Sam's head lifted up in surprise. "Sammy was hit by a spell, you killed the witch, the spell didn't lift. Means we're going to need another witch." Dean nodded towards the door and started moving as his phone rang. "Well, that didn't take long."

"Dean, did you and the angel adopt? I didn't realize hunters and the supernatural could go through that process." Rowena quipped as he answered the phone.

They approached the exit, and Dean pushed the door open, holding it for Cas. "You're so funny, Rowena. That's Sam." There was a long pause and Dean pulled the phone away from his ear to make sure that the call hadn't dropped. "Rowena?"

"I'm here, Dean. I was looking at the picture again, trying to figure out how something so small got so big." Rowena replied, and Dean couldn't help but laugh in agreement. "What happened to the giant?"

"We were tracking a witch, and she got the drop on him. Cas offed her, but not before she finished the incantation."

"I see. Such a dear, wee boy. Appears he was always a cutie."

Dean rolled his eyes as he sped up to move ahead of Cas, opening the rear passenger to Baby for him. "Yeah, heartthrob, nerd, all of it since a young age. Can you help?"

"Aye, I am the best. I can meet at the bunker in about five hours, maybe less. Need to get the things that may be necessary to help me reverse the spell."

"Thank you, Rowena. I know you don't have to do this, but we appreciate it."

Rowena laughed. "Aye, but 'tis nice to be owed a favor from a Winchester. Later, Dearie." The phone disconnected with a beep and Dean let out a sigh, wondering what kind of deal he had unknowingly made with the witch.

His attention drifted back to Cas and Sam, the latter still cling to the former, not willing to be separated. "You okay sitting in the back with Sam? If not, I'll be the bad cop."

"This is fine, Dean. Since we don't have a car seat, me sitting with him is for the best."

Dean nodded and closed the door for Cas, making sure to not catch the trench coat in the jamb. He took a look around and quickly moved to the driver's side, sliding in and pulling his door shut behind him. "Let's get going." Dean stole a glance at the backseat, watching as Cas took care to use the lap belt to secure Sam comfortably.

Dean started the Impala and pulled away, swallowing down the warm feeling that was threatening to swell in his chest. Sam had practically been his kid, despite there being less than a four-year age difference between them. Watching someone else - watching Cas - give that same TLC, the same comfort to Sam that he had done all those years ago was threatening to melt the layer of ice he put up as a barrier.

"De!" Sam called up, pulling Dean's eyes to the rearview mirror.

"Yeah, Sammy?"

Sam snuggled into Cas and smiled. "Hungy?"

"Hungry, dude." Dean replied, emphasizing on the gre sound. "You need something to eat, Sammy?"

"Yes!"

Dean stole a glance at Cas, who merely shrugged in return. "You did just go through a heck of an ordeal, huh? Let's get out of this town, and we'll stop at the next one, okay?"

"K!" Sam replied excitedly before looking up at Cas. "Hungy?"

"It appears you don't remember. I don't eat, Sam. But we'll make sure you get something good, okay?"

"De!" Dean looked back in the rearview and saw Sam pointing at him, but talking to Cas.

"Your brother will eat too, I'll make sure." Dean felt a blush rise up at that comment and forced his focus back on the road ahead of him.

Sam's voice dropped to a whisper. "De, yours."

Dean swore he heard a noise of surprise from Cas, but refused to look, feeling it better to pretend he didn't hear anything.

"Your brother doesn't belong to anyone, Sam. Least of all me. Rest, we'll be there soon."

Dean frowned. He'd never admit it aloud, but boy, Cas was wrong. So very wrong.

A half-hour later, and no less than fifty questions from Sam to Cas later, Dean pulled up in front of a diner. "Still hungry, Sammy?"

"Pancakes!" Sam squealed happily, grabbing Cas' hand to help him with the seatbelt.

"Dude, Cas, we never let him live this down." Dean looked over the backseat and smiled at Cas.

"Which part, Dean? The part where he's being cute, or the part where I know you're going to let him overeat breakfast foods?" Cas raised an eyebrow as he undid Sam's seatbelt.

"He's known his whole life how cute he is. Always used it to his damn advantage." Dean shook his head. "Hell, our old man used it to his advantage." He climbed out of the car and met Cas' eyes over Baby's roof. "He got us so much free shit. Lunches, dinners. Hell, one time, he got us a hotel room for two nights."

"I'm sure you could have done the same, Dean." Cas looked down at Sam and shushed him, as he was trying to rat Dean out for saying shit. "Yes, Dean said a bad word. Dean says a lot of bad words."

"Hey!" Dean called out at Cas as he took Sam's hand and headed into the diner. "I'm not that bad." He grumbled to himself as he followed in behind them.

Cas was already talking to a waitress, asking for a booster seat for Sam as Dean walked in. She led them back to a more secluded booth, handing the booster to Dean and winking at him as she walked away.

"Sam, go sit with Dean, please." Cas gently pushed Sam between the shoulder blades, and toddler Sam ran and hugged Dean's leg. 

Dean couldn't help but smile, and he sat the seat down before assisting Sam to climb into it. Once he sat down himself, he looked across the table at Cas. "You know, I swear, I don't remember him being this talkative when he was younger."

"I think I may know why." Cas watched Sam carefully. "I'm fairly certain the spell reverted him to about two or three, but he still has all his memories, his knowledge is intact. Just at that age, he can't use them fully." He smiled at Sam. "He's an overly smart toddler."

A few moments later, a waitress introducing herself as Maggie walked up to their booth. "Well aren't you just the cutest! Having fun with your dads, kiddo?"

Dean looked up and saw the surprised look on Cas' face. It wasn't often the angel was caught unawares, and, despite the context, Dean was relishing in it. "Yeah, he was taking a nap, this is his first big road trip. He woke up and said he was hungry. Figured we could use a pitstop too." Dean bit his bottom lip, holding back a grunt as Cas kicked him in the shin.

"Aww, how sweet!" She pulled out her receipt pad and smiled at Sam. "What's your name, cutie?"

"Sammy!" He responded with a broad smile then pointed at Cas. "Cas!" Sam turned and pointed at Dean. "De!"

"Sounds like you're getting good at using your words, little guy!" Maggie scrunched up her nose playfully and waved with her finger. She turned to Cas. "What can I get you?"

"Just a coffee, black." Cas nodded, gesturing to Dean. "He'll order too much, per the normal."

"Dude, Cas. Rude." Dean looked at Maggie and smiled. "I saw you guys do pancakes with marshmallow fluff?" When Maggie nodded, he continued. "Can I get a short stack of those for my short stack here with some orange juice, I'll have the breakfast platter, scramble the eggs please."

"And to drink?" Maggie took the menus from Cas and Dean.

"Coffee, black."

Maggie finished writing and nodded. "You got it. It'll be up in a few." 

Dean leaned back in the booth, waiting for the inevitable comment from Cas.

"Why didn't you correct her?"

There it was. "'Cause as happy and healthy as Sam looks, it's going to sound a little strange if we're anyone other than his dads." Dean threw back, neglecting to mention that he didn't mind the temporary mislabel. "Besides, Sammy didn't blow our cover at all, either. Like you said, he's a smart cookie."

"While that makes sense, Sam is not actually a child." Cas huffed as he sat back in his seat.

"Don't be like that, Cas." Dean nodded at Maggie as she brought them their drinks. He jabbed a straw into Sam's cup and slid it to him, almost laughing as he watched Sam try to remember how to use a straw. "Besides, you're good with him."

"It's Sam." Cas retorted.

Dean shook his head. "It's toddler Sam and completely different." He held his hand over his mug before lifting it to his lips and taking a sip. "Despite how you know Sam now, that's not how he was when he was a kid."

"That was almost thirty years ago, Dean. Do you remember it clearly?" Cas raised his eyebrow.

"I raised him, Cas. I remember his first word, his first sentence. I remember his first hair cut that I botched, cause the old man couldn't be bothered to take us to get it cut." Dean sighed angrily, upset that Cas would doubt him. "I'm the one who took him from crawling to walking to running."

"Dean, I–" Cas was interrupted by Maggie returning with Dean and Sam's food. Once she left after asking if everything was okay, Cas let out his own sigh and dragged his hand down his face. "I'm sorry, Dean. You're right."

"I know I am, and I know you're doing a good job with him." Dean finished cutting up Sam's pancakes and handed the fork to his younger brother. "If you can't finish them, Sam, don't force it. I'll get you a box."

Sam cooed happily and shoved a piece of pancake into his mouth. Dean found that he couldn't help himself and pulled out his phone, taking a picture of Sam.

"He's going to kill you." Cas commented before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Worth it." Dean looked at Cas and winked as he took another picture of Sam. "I'll get this one made into a pillow, and we can throw it on a chair in the library."

"I'm not going to hell to retrieve your soul again when he does." Cas shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips.

"You're no fun, Cas." Dean pouted before putting his phone away.

A couple cups of coffee, several wet naps, and a box later, Sam was yawning loudly in his booster seat, barely able to stay upright. Maggie came by with the check, dropping it off and making sure to remind Sam how cute he was.

Dean tossed the keys to the Impala to Cas before standing up and picking Sam up. He carefully passed Sam over to Cas, his heart pounding a mile a minute as Sam snuggled against Cas. "Get him comfy. I'll be out in a minute after I pay this." Dean tried to tear his eyes away from Cas as he walked away, but it wasn't until Cas exited the diner that he found himself able to move.

He walked up to the register where Maggie was leaning, talking to the cashier. She stood up as Dean approached and smiled at him. "Thank you guys for stopping this evening. You all really made our night."

"We what?" Dean felt his face twist into a confused look.

"First, Sammy is adorable. He's so sweet, so well-behaved, and he clearly loves his daddies." The cashier next to Maggie nodded. "And then, watching you and your husband? We've seen a lot of couples and families come in, but the love between you two?" She looked at the cashier, and placed her hand on her heart. "You two gave us all a slice of happiness tonight."

"Uh, thanks. I think." Dean took his card back from the cashier and nodded.

"If you're ever in the area, stop on in again!" Maggie called after him as he walked towards the exit.

Dean crossed to Baby and slid into the driver seat. He stole a glance to his right, his heart beating a tattoo as he realized that Cas wasn't wearing his trench coat. Surprised, he looked in the back seat and saw Sam curled up under it, softly snoring.

"Don't worry, he still has the lap belt on, but he couldn't stay upright. I was afraid that I would move too much and keep him awake." Cas offered, pulling Dean's attention back to him. "I think he should sleep until we get back to the bunker."

Dean swallowed hard and nodded his acknowledgment as he got Baby back on the road

Afraid to wake Sam, Dean left the radio off. The silence was thick in the car, and it made him uncomfortable. It also didn't help that at some point, Cas had slid out of his suit jacket. He had it folded on the seat between them, and it kept drawing Dean's attention.

Desperate for noise, desperate for an escape to not think about the practically naked Castiel next to him, Dean thought of something to do to break the silence.

"You know, Cas. I know I said it earlier, but you are really good with Sam." Dean stole a quick glance at the angel, and instantly regretted it, noticing the pushed-up sleeves.

"And as I responded earlier, it's Sam. He's not an actual child." The timber of Cas' voice sent a child down Dean's spine. "If he were an actual child, he would probably not respond as well to me."

"You're selling yourself short, Cas." Dean deflected. "I mean, yeah, we're pretty sure Sam's still adult Sam in there, but he's still a toddler. He's still little. You're responding well to that."

"Oh." Cas replied quietly. Silence filled the car again, until Cas asked his own question. "Did you ever want a child, Dean?"

"Had one." Dean muttered. "Didn't get to know her, though."

"When was this?" Cas asked, and Dean turned to look at Cas, registering the surprise on the angel's face.

"It was, uh..." Dean looked back towards the road. "It was while you were Emmanuel." Dean shot his tongue out between his lips and licked. He didn't like to think of that time without Cas, and he wasn't sure how to phrase what had happened. "Sam and I had a case where men were dying with this odd symbol carved into them. We rolled into town, I hit up the one place they all had in common, and I met a woman named Lydia."

Silence came from Cas' side of the car, and Dean continued. "I was kinda heavy into the bottle during that time, and before I knew it, she took me home. Turned out, she was our monster of the week."

"You slept with a creature?" Dean didn't have to look at Cas to hear the confusion in his voice.

"I didn't know, okay? Turned out she was an Amazon. Over the course of a couple of days, she had Emma and Emma grew to a teenager." Dean gripped the steering wheel tightly. "Due to some rite of passage, Emma was told to come and kill me. Sam killed her, partially to protect me and partially in revenge."

"Sam killed in revenge?"

"I killed a prior girlfriend of his. Sam's got a thing for creatures. Demons, Werewolves, Kitsune... Oh my." Dean shook his head. "Part of me knows that Emma was going to kill me. But the other part? Well, I regret not getting that chance to actually find out."

Cas' hand rested on Dean's shoulder, and a flush colored his cheeks. "For what it's worth, Dean. Knowing that you raised Sam, and seeing how you are with him now? I think you would be a wonderful father."

"This life ain't for a kid, Cas. You know that. Hell, I had you erase Lisa and Ben's memories, so they wouldn't remember anything about the supernatural." Dean felt a heat building behind his eyes, and he took in a deep breath to keep the tears at bay.

"If you found the right person Dean, would you stop hunting and settle down?" Cas' hand slipped off Dean's shoulder, and Dean found himself craving its return. "I know you tried with Lisa, but she wasn't right for you."

"Cas, this is the only life I know." Dean shook his head. "The old man made it so I'd be his good little soldier. I don't know any other way."

"That's a lie, Dean. John may have kept you from being a child, he may have thrust too many responsibilities on you for someone so young. He did a lot wrong by you, and I'm sorry. But you are ten times the man that he ever was, and by knowing your childhood and what he did wrong. You would turn it around to be the best father you could be."

Dean cast a glance over to Cas, to find him pointedly staring out the window. Dean let his shoulder drop and focused on getting them home.

Another hour of uncomfortable silence later, Dean pulled up into the bunker's garage. As he cut Baby's engine, Sam started to stir in the backseat. Cas quickly got out of the car and made a point of getting to Sam, pulling the toddler into his arms and carrying him into the bunker. Dean had barely gotten out himself, to find that Cas had left him in the dust.

"Go figure." Dean muttered to himself. He moved to the trunk, popping it open and grabbing out his duffel bag. He also grabbed Sam's before closing the trunk and heading in to drop things off.

Dean stopped by his room first, dropping off his bag before making the trip to Sam's. The door was already open, and he could hear Sam talking to Cas.

"De?" 

"Dean will be here in a moment. I'm sure he stopped to get your things out of the car." Dean peeked in to see Cas sitting on the edge of the bed, Sam leaning against him.

"Tank you, Cas." Sam tried his best to wrap his arms around Cas in a hug. It caught Cas off guard, and Dean thought it was cute how Cas tried to figure out where to rest his hands to hug Sam in return. "Cas, read?"

"You want me to read to you?" Cas questioned.

Dean chose that moment to come in and rescue the angel. "Okay, Sammy. I brought your bag in. You really shouldn't play with the things in here, so I'm going to put it in your closet so you can't get it."

"De!" Sam hopped off the bed and ran to Dean wrapping his arms around Dean's leg again. "Tank you!"

Dean squatted down next to Sam, pulling him off of his leg. "How are you feeling, Sam?"

"Cas read, peas!" Sam pointed at Cas before crossing his arms over his chest in a huff.

"You want Cas to read to you?" Dean looked over at Cas, who was sitting nervously on Sam's bed. "You might have to ask him really nicely. I heard he likes warm hugs."

Sam nodded and ran back to Cas, stealing his hand. "Cas read!"

"Traitor." Cas whispered at Dean before looking at Sam. "Let's go find a book." He took Sam's hand and led him to the library.

Dean watched as Cas walked away with Sam before pulling out his cell. He quickly swiped through his contacts before pressing the call button.

"Dean." Rowena answered on the first ring. "I'm en route. How's the wee Samuel?"

"Same as he was when he was actually three." Dean let out a sigh. "You got an ETA for me?"

"Ah, yes. About three hours? Had a bit of an issue involving the procuring of Lamia scale." Rowena hummed over the phone. "The last few items I may need are ubiquitous, and I'm sure I can locate them in yer inventory."

"Alright, we'll see you soon then. Just call when you're here so I can let you in." Dean hung up the phone and headed to the library to check on Sam and Cas. He quietly walked down the hallway, stop as he reached the entrance. Dean smiled as he found Cas sitting in one of the comfier chairs with Sam curled up in his lap.

Cas looked up briefly, barely acknowledging Dean's presence before returning to the story he was reading to Sam. "Ceyx was deeply moved, for she loved him no better than he loved her, but his purpose held fast. He felt that he must get counsel from the oracle, and he would not hear of her sharing the perils of the voyage. She had to yield and let him go alone. Her heart was so heavy when she bade him farewell it was as if she foresaw what was to come. She waited on the shore watching the ship until it sailed out of sight."

"Are you seriously reading Ovid to a toddler, Cas?" Dean leaned against the doorway.

"Edith Hamilton's version, but yes." Cas held up the book. "I remember Sam enjoying Greek and Roman mythology."

"He does. But that might be a little above his reading level at the moment." Dean winked at Cas. "Sammy, want to watch cartoons?"

Sam squirmed out of Cas' lap and ran to Dean. "De, up!"

"I'm getting too old for this." Dean picked up Sam and rested him on his hip. "You coming, Cas?"

Cas set the book on the table next to him and stood up, following after Dean. They walked to the kitchen, where Dean set Sam up on one of the seats. "Stay here, Sammy." 

Dean ran to his room and grabbed his laptop, checking its charge before heading back to the kitchen. Cas had taken a seat next to Sam, who had started babbling to Cas again. He set his laptop down in front of Sam, opening it to Netflix. "Cas, help him find something to watch? I'm going to make Sammy some grilled cheese for dinner."

Sam's eyes lit up at the mention of grilled cheese, and Dean winced slightly as Sam's gibberish picked back up, louder and faster. He headed over to the fridge and started grabbing out the things he needed. Before long, he heard the sounds of Planet Earth starting, and he turned and looked back at Cas.

"Do not look at me like that, Dean." Cas pointed at Sam. "This was his choice."

"I'm watching you, Cas." Dean pointed back, using the stick of butter in his hand. "I know you and your wily ways."

"Yes, because I'm going to corrupt Sam by letting him watch a show about the forces of nature." Cas sassed in return.

Dean started to reply, but was interrupted by Sam. "Cas! Frog!" Dean shook his head. Yeah, Sam had picked that out himself.

A few minutes later and a plate stacked with grilled cheese in hand, Dean joined Sam and Cas at the table. Cas pulled the laptop back so cheesy fingers - from Sam or Dean - wouldn't get all over it. Together, they ate contently, enjoying the episode that Sam had picked to watch. Once the plate was cleared of all the sandwiches, Cas paused the show. He offered to clean up the dishes while Dean helped Sam wash his face and hands.

Despite it being Sam, a brief thought of having this kind of moment with his own child entered Dean's thoughts. His mind wandered more: sitting at a table with them, eating dinner with them, even helping them with their homework.

Then Dean thought of the child, curled up on Cas' lap, enjoying a story. He thought of him and Cas, tucking their child into bed at night. Dean tried to push that thought out of mind, afraid of lingering on what he thought he couldn't have.

As Dean shooed Sam back into the kitchen and over to Cas, his phone went off. He pulled it out of his pocket and breathed out a silent relief. "Rowena. You're here?"

"Yes, Dean. Come be a dear as promised?" She hung up with a beep, and Dean made his way up to the main entrance. He swung the door wide open. "Ello, Dean." Rowena sashayed past him and entered the bunker. "Where is our wee Samuel?"

"Unless they moved, I left him and Cas in the kitchen." Dean gestured, letting Rowena go first.

"Enjoying a little family time with yer angel?" Rowena looked over her shoulder as she walked down the stairs. "Having a wee taste of what ye think ye cannae have?"

Dean didn't acknowledge her, not trusting his voice to betray how right she was.

"Weena!" Sam jumped out of his chair and ran to Rowena and hugged her leg as she entered the kitchen.

"Can we keep him like this?" Rowena looked at Cas before looking at Dean who walked up next to her. "I know ye've been with him since this happened, but he's so dear." She bent down and booped Sam on the nose, earning a giggle. "And I dun need to look up to him!"

"I don't think a couple more minutes will hurt." Dean shook his head before looking at Cas. "I told you, Sam has always had a way with the ladies."

"So I see, Dean." Cas frowned. "But I do think it's time to make him an adult again. I don't know how much damage there is from the spell."

Sam froze at Cas' comment before bolting from Rowena and clinging to Dean. "No, De! No!"

"Heya, Sammy. What's wrong?" Dean crouched down, and found Sam's arms around his neck, briefly choking him.

"Big is owie." Sam hid his face in Dean's neck, and Dean slowly stood up, holding his little brother in his arms. "Sammy small."

"You wanna stay small, Sammy?" Dean asked, his heart melting for the umpteenth time in 24 hours when Sam nodded into his neck. "But don't you miss being big like me and Cas?" Sam shook his head no.

"Sam," Cas crossed over and rubbed Sam's back. "Do you think being big will be scary?"

Sam pulled back from Dean's neck and looked at Cas and nodded. 

"Can I ask what's scary?" Cas continued rubbing the little circles on Sam's back, and Dean had never been more grateful for the angel in his life.

Sam looked like he was deep in thought before he pointed at Cas, then pointed at Dean.

"Me and Cas are scary when you're big?" Dean asked, confused as to why they would be scary when he would be larger than both of them.

"No!" Sam rested his forehead on Dean's shoulder, and Dean could feel his little brother getting frustrated.

"Hey. Hey, Sammy." Dean gently bounced Sam in his arms. "Is it hard not being able to use your words?"

Sam nodded, then pointed at Dean. "Love." Sam pointed at Cas. "Love." He finally pointed at himself. "Love!"

"Sammy, you're my little brother, you know I love you." Dean looked at Cas. "And Cas? He's family. He loves you too." Dean smiled when Cas nodded in agreement. "That's not going to change when you're big again. I promise." Dean turned to Rowena and gestured with his head to come over. "If you go with Rowena, she's going to take good care of you, and when you're back? Me and Cas will prove that nothing's changed."

"No! No, no!" Sam cried out, despite reaching for Rowena. "Weena!"

"Sweet Samuel. I know what you mean. I'm sorry that they're dense." Sam sniffled and hiccoughed into Rowena's shoulder. "Boys, Samuel wants ye both to talk. Why dun ye get comfy in the library, he and I will go to the infirmary? I'll get him right back to his full size." She rested Sam on her hip. "Even though he's adorable like this. I'm half tempted to follow his wishes." Rowena started exiting the kitchen. "Castiel, Dean. Talk."

Dean dragged his hand down his face and followed Rowena out of the kitchen, turning towards the library with Cas behind him. He headed over to the chairs, leaving the one Cas had cuddled up with Sam in earlier, and taking the one next to it. Cas took his original seat and picked up the book he had left on the table.

"Still can't believe you picked one of Ovid's stories to read to a toddler." Dean pointed at the book.

"I read him a love story."

Dean tilted his head to the side in acknowledgment. "I guess that's true."

"You know, Dean. I was thinking." Cas leafed through the book. "About our conversations earlier. How you said that I was good with Sam."

"Realize that I was telling the truth and going to admit it?" Dean turned in the chair and leaned against the arm to get a better look at Cas. "You came right over and started comforting him. You knew exactly what to do, Cas. You didn't even second guess yourself."

"There have been times over the past few years where I've interacted with children. You remember how I was with Nora's baby. I needed you to help me." Cas paused and set the book down. "There were other times where I just moved on instinct."

"Pretty sure that's how most adults are when it comes to kids, Cas."

"What I'm trying to say, is that I enjoyed being Sam's parent for a little bit, even if he was never really my child, and I was never really his parent." Cas frowned. "I have enjoyed co-parenting with you."

"With me?" Dean's heart raced. He bit his tongue, afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Cas nodded. "I believe you would be an amazing father, Dean. I see the man that Sam has turned out to be, and I see how you've been with him today. I want you to find the right person to be that parent with."

"You think I did that?" Dean closed his eyes and swallowed. Images of growing up with Sam flashed through his memories. Teaching Sam to read. Helping him learn how to ride a bike. Helping him with his first heartbreak. "I only did what I wanted my father to do."

"And like I said before, Dean. You know what you missed out on, and you wouldn't want to do that to your child." Cas stood up and offered his hand down.

Dean hesitantly took Cas' hand and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He took a deep breath. "Cas, I don't have to find someone I'd want that with."

"Oh." Cas frowned. "I figured you wouldn't want to do it alone. But I guess you would have Sam to help. And Rowena appears to be fond of children. Jody would also help, I'm sure, as would Donna. You have a–"

Dean leaned in and kissed Cas, silencing him. It was soft, it was sweet, and Dean hoped that it would deliver his message to Cas. He pulled back, afraid to look in Cas' eyes, afraid to see if he made the biggest mistake in his life. Dean's breath hitched as he felt Cas' finger hook under his chin, lifting it, so their eyes met.

Cas leaned in, his hand moving from Dean's chin to gently cup Dean's cheek. He reclaimed Dean's lips returning the message with his own soft and sweet devotion.

"Ewww. My dads are kissing." Sam's voice whipped through the library, startling Cas and Dean, causing them to pull back abruptly. "I didn't think you got the message."

"I needed to translate for ye. Who knows how long these two would have danced around one another." Rowena stood next to Sam smugly, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Your message?" Dean inquired. "The only tantrum you gave us all day?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah. Cas nailed it pretty early on. I had all my knowledge up here, but the capacity of a toddler can't process all that. The brain isn't developed enough." He pointed at Dean. "Also, delete the damn picture of me eating those pancakes."

"No can do." Dean snaked his arm around Cas waist and pulled him closer. "So the message, before marshmallow brain distracted you?"

"You two have always danced around each other. You both thought that no one knew what you were hiding from each other. Dean, I know you aren't exactly out of the closet, but let's face it, you look at Cas like he hung the moon. Cas looks at you the same way." Sam shook his head. "You two had no qualms about showing that affection, about being domestic when you both had to take care of me. I would have stayed a child if it meant you two stayed like that."

"Why, Sam?" Cas tilted his head in confusion.

Sam pointed at Dean. "He said things wouldn't change when I was big again. My mind processed that as you two going back to the way things were." He smiled softly and shook his head. "Dean's taken care of me all of our lives. It's my turn to make sure he's taken care of. I know you can do that, Cas."

"Aye, his little heart was breaking." Rowena confirmed. "I had to promise him that I'd remind him to talk to ye two when he was an adult again. It appears he didnae have to."

Cas looked at Dean. "So when you say that you wouldn't need to find someone..."

"I meant you, Cas." Dean rested their foreheads together. "It was always you.”

[theperplexityoftheunknown]

What is a relationship to be continued

You may ask yourself why this is Important yet it is very important! We will discuss Why they are important to your well being and what type of person you are in a relationship? I think if you take the time to read this post in its entirety and intense complexity you will have a better understanding of where you are in life and what more you can become by understanding the perplexity of every relation to man or relationship because trust me THIS BABY is going to get TOUGH.

Lets start of with the first question what is a relationship

the way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other. : a romantic or sexual friendship between two people. : the way in which two or more people or things are connected.

Please go ahead and read one more time because that may or may not be the closest thing of a relationship to that you have a mutual relation  and understanding of but its way, way more complex just keep reading.

Each relationship we have encountered has been determined by how we were raised Im going to refer to some quick psycho-social information coming from a study introduced during world war 2 by British psychoanalyst john bowbly, whose lonely childhood gave him a lifelong interest in the power of parenthood.

In the 1970s a test was conducted by Bowlby’s student Mary Ainsworth. She performed the strange situation test where children that's age ranged from 12-18 months were put  in a toy-filled room with their mother and given a chance to play. A stranger enters and interacts with the parent and child,then mom exited the room-- leaving behind a confused and alarmed little kid. A few minutes later mom returned and comforted her toddler. Needless to say being separated from the person who feeds, protects, and tends to you is frighting for any toddler, but the test showed definite categories of reaction to that fear.

Why is this important ?

Early Attachment.

As seen above you can see that a study was conducted concerning attachment styles. It's important because it is with this information that you find out what type of relationships You are going to be compatible with. Some types absolutely do not collide but if you think this is all about “how do i form a relationship” well keep reading because its not possible for everyone.

1 Secure, when it is evident to have a secure attachment style when the parenting style was: Warm, attentive,relatively consistent, and quick to respond based on that approach the child's Baseline Emotional Status (BES) would have been happy, confident, and curious which would have subconsciously continues into adulthood with the Child’s expectation of life being: My need will be met

2. Anxious -Ambivalent/resistant, it is evident to have an anxious attachment style when the parenting style was: Inconsistent: sometimes responsive and sometimes not. The Child's BES would have been Insecure, anxious, and intensely emotional which in return would have subconsciously continued into adulthood with the child's expectation of life being: “IF i act in the right ways, I might earn love and my needs may be met”

3. Avioident- ,it is evident to have a avoidant attachment style when the parenting style was: Distant and Cold, or harsh and critical. The child's BES would have been Emotionally shut down which in return would have subconsciously continued into adulthood with the child's expectation of life being: “I can't trust anyone to meet my needs. I must meet my own needs.

Im sure your getting the idea of why this is now important

Lets looks at three statements

1 I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them. I don't often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me.

2. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or doesn't want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away.

3 i am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others:  i find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, love partners want me to be more intimate than i feel comfortable being

In 1987 psychologist cindy hazan and philip shaver reported the results of the statements above  they called it the ‘love quiz’

56% of adults respondents had identified themselves as secure, 19% as anxious and 25% as avoidant

The perfect combination

Secure people tend to have the most secure relationships, and a relationship needs only ONE secure partner to get that stability. With a partner who is happy to give reassurance and isn't threatened by the idea of being needed, an anxious person can relax, and is often loyal and loving. With someone who doesn't take it personally when their partner wants time alone,avoidant people can worry less about being tied down- however, most of the compromises in the relationship will likely be made by the secure partner. The real problem comes when two insecure types get together. If relationships often get messy for you, learning to recognize attachment styles and understanding how they clash can give you a path through the conflict

But then again Here comes perhaps the most perlex question i can ask? What happens in adult hood when you experience the pain and turama of a heartbreak?

What particularly does that do to each individual and how do they cope?

Do some people perhaps just shut down! Absolutely not! One subconsciously gains the ability to cope with their losses how? Lets start with:

Sexual compulsion – Relationship with sex, attachment and sexual orientation

I know your wondering What the Fuck where did this just turn to but trust me, or dont but you may or may not want to hear this or perhaps your brain craves the knowledge to understand and you ask yourself why your life is working in the way it is; remembemer its all in you!

I believe the first coping skill for some may be Hypersexuallity which I will refer to later.

2. I believe a conduct Disorder  DSM-IV-TR 314.9 Is primary consistent with feelings of Emotional shock from a previous ‘heartbreaking’ or traumatic event.

I will explain. I'm going to refer to the diagnostic features of conduct disorder which manifest itself  as a repetitive and persistent pattern in  which the basic rights of others or major age-appropriate societal norms or rules are violated. These behaviours fall into four main groupings” Criteria A1-A7 aggressive conduct that causes or threatens physical harm to other people or animals .

Or see criteria A8-A9 nonaggressive conduct that causes property loss or damage Or see A9 - A13, DECEITFULNESS OR THEFT

It is definite that promiscuous behavior is dangerous therefore someone engaging in Criteria a1-a7 w/o aggression and associated with parts or in hole with A8-9

Furthermore  the prevalence of conduct disorder appears to have increased over the last decades and may be higher in urban than in rural settings.

Course.

Individuals with conduct disorder are at risk for later mood disorders, anxiety disorders, somatoform disorders, and substance related disorders.

Sexual addiction, also known as hypersexual disorder, is associated with serious psychosocial problems for many people.

Sexual addiction, which is also known as hypersexual disorder, has been associated with serious psychosocial problems for many people although it has not been recognized as a disorder that merits inclusion in the DSM (Quadland, 1985) – see Karila et al. (2014) for review. Originally, Carnes (1983)published a book titled Out of the shadows: Understanding sexual addiction, which has raised interest in the area and facilitated a discussion on the best way to define and diagnose the disorder. Despite different views about pathological characteristics of sexual addiction there is an agreement that this is a progressive relapsing condition which does not merely refer to a pathological diagnosis of sexual lifestyle that is socially deviant (Edger, 2010).

Sexual addiction involves compulsive behaviors such as constantly seeking new sexual partners, having frequent sexual encounters, engaging in compulsive masturbation and frequently using pornography. Despite efforts to reduce or stop excessive sexual behaviors individuals find it difficult to stop and they engage in risky sexual activities, pay for sexual services and resist behavioral changes to avert HIV risk (Carnes, 1991; Coleman-Kennedy & Pendley, 2002; Coleman, Raymond & McBean, 2003; Kalichman & Rompa, 1995). Sexual compulsivity has been associated with the number of unprotected vaginal sex acts with female sexual workers, lower self-efficacy for condom use, greater use of illicit drugs, and more financial need (Semple et al., 2010).

Cognitive and emotional symptoms include obsessive thoughts of sex, feelings of guilt about excessive sexual behavior, the desire to escape from or suppress unpleasant emotions, loneliness, boredom, low self-esteem, shame, secrecy regarding sexual behaviors, rationalization about the continuation of sexual behaviors, indifference toward a regular sexual partner, a preference for anonymous sex, a tendency to disconnect intimacy from sex, and an absence of control in many aspects of life (Carnes, 2000, 2001; Carnes & Schneider, 2000; Coleman et al., 2003; Coleman-Kennedy & Pendley, 2002). Finally, some studies find that sexual addiction is associated with or in response to dysphoric affects (Black, Kehrberg, Flumerfelt & Schlosser, 1997; Raymond, Coleman & Miner, 2003; Reid, 2007; Reid, Carpenter, Spackman & Willes, 2008; Reid & Carpenter, 2009) or stressful life events (Miner et al., 2007).

Attachment theory (Bowlby, 1979, 1982) argued that early attachment experiences affect personal and social life, professional relationships, dealing with stress, mental and physical health and cognitive development. According to recent developments in attachment theory, those who developed a safe attachment style which is not anxious or avoidant during infancy can form healthy relationships in adolescence and adulthood and handle life problems (Uytun, Oztop, Esel & Mdusunen, 2013). Individuals with secure attachment are expected to have low chances of becoming addicted to sex since they regulate and limit their sexual activity more than those with insecure attachment (Zapf, Greiner & Carroll, 2008). Furthermore, individuals who are addicted to sex are looking for sexual activity without the need for emotional relationships and they are more likely to be characterized by avoidant or anxious attachment (Gentzler & Kerns, 2004).

Gay men are diverse with respect to the sexual behaviors they both desire and enact (Moskowitz & Roloff, 2010; Sanderson, 1994). Moreover, gay men differ from other groups in their sexual behavior. Research shows that, on average, gay men have more partners, engage in more risky sexual behavior, and are more likely to seek sexual sensation than other groups, such as heterosexual men, women and lesbians (Bailey, Gaulin, Agyei & Gladue, 1994; Ekstrand, Stall, Paul, Osmond & Coates, 1999; Thompson, Yager & Martin, 1993). But among homosexual men there is variability in the propensity to engage in compulsive unprotected sex. Meyer and Dean (1995) have reported that about 6% of their 149 young New York City gay men (aged 18–24 years) engaged in very high risk behavior, defined as unprotected receptive anal intercourse with multiple partners. It appears that very high risk takers are qualitatively different from other risk takers: they reported more mental health problems, including more drug use and higher levels of internalized homophobia and AIDS-related traumatic stress response. Furthermore, there are moderators of sexual behavior among gay men such as being in monogamous relationships. Also sexual health and sexual health behaviors for example sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) were most influential over the enactment of sexual behavior or desires (Moskowitz & Roloff, 2010).

Few studies investigated sexual compulsivity among heterosexual and homosexual men. Furthermore, to the best of our knowledge, the relationships between compulsive sexual behavior and attachment and sexual preference or orientation have not been investigated before. We have therefore investigated sexual compulsivity and attachment style among populations of heterosexual and homosexual men and women. We hypothesized that secure attachment would be associated with lower rates of sex compulsion. Secondly, that homosexual men and women would show higher levels of sexual compulsivity than heterosexual men and women. Thirdly, we hypothesized that attachment style might mediate between sexual orientation and sexual compulsion.

[firefeufuego]

allegrezza: chapter two

Inspired by the prompt ‘Media Adaption’ for RebelCaptain Appreciation Week, I thought I’d bang out another chapter of the coda to my Mozart in the Jungle crossover. Enjoy!

‘Tepoztlán’, the voice of the driver carries down the bus as it comes to a stop and Jyn stands and reaches for her bag before stepping off into Cassian’s hometown. It’s a bit odd to be here without him, but the orchestra’s delayed flight out of Rio left her with an extra day in her little surprise trip to Mexico and there’s something here she wants to do alone.

Tapping in  her destination on her phone, she sets off through the streets of the picturesque town, nestled in a valley between the soaring cliff sides of lushly forested mountains. Jyn’s less interested in the landscapes and architecture than the people though, because everywhere she looks, she sees a younger Cassian — in the two boys kicking a football back and forth that could be him and Rodrigo, or the babbling toddler sitting on his father’s shoulders.

There’s a bittersweet heaviness to those fond invented memories that mirrors the ache she feels when she thinks of her own childhood, those early years of happiness making the subsequent loss cut all the deeper. 

Still, better than to have never been happy at all, as Cassian would say if he were here. She misses him, even more than she has done for the past month that they’ve both been touring. 

She’s supposed to be in Belgium now before setting off for the last leg of the tour in Germany, but the thought of not being there when Cassian played his first professional concert in Mexico (a concert that he and Rodrigo had been stressing each other out over for months) was unacceptable. Or so she’d thought after a bottle of wine in her empty hotel room before shelling out more money than she’d rather think about for last minute flights.

Her phone buzzes in her hand, telling her she’s reached her destination. There’s a stand selling flowers near the entrance and she buys the two most expensive bouquets, feeling strangely nervous about first impressions even though the people she’s buying them for could literally not care less.

After a few minutes scanning the rows of stones, she finds them. 

Jeron Andor Lopez and Charlotte McMillan share a simple headstone, engraved with a short message about Cassian and — Jyn notes with a smile — a few of the best bars of the Brahms sonata. 

Laying down the flowers, she gets the water bottle and a packet of tissues out of her bag and sets about cleaning the dirt and dust off of the stone, which looks as if it had gone unvisited in some time. She knows Cassian is never able to visit as often as he wants to and he has no other living family in Mexico, which is why he had to move to the US to live with his mother’s dour brother after the accident. 

Once she’s done scrubbing, she drinks the rest of the water and sits beside the newly gleaming granite, looking around to check that she’s alone before clearing her throat awkwardly. ‘Hello. My name is Jyn Erso and I’m in love with your son.’ She pauses for a minute, tracing Cassian’s name. ‘You would be so proud of him, he’s just— he’s the best person. I feel like I should thank you both, for, you know, making him.  I’m, um, I’m  going to ask him to marry me soon, actually, which is kind of why I’m here. I think that if you knew me, and how I hurt him, you probably wouldn’t trust me with him. There are days when I don’t really trust myself with him. But I promise, on every grave in this place, that I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying to make him happy. And if I don’t, you can feel free to strike me down with whatever powers you have at your disposal.’   

There’s no sudden burst of sun or gust of wind that she might imagine into a response, but the sense of duty that brought her here still feels satisfied. She feels the weight of responsibility of making that promise to the only other people who loved Cassian as much as her, but it feels grounding — more like an anchor than a burden.

After another few minutes of thoughtful silence, Jyn murmurs a goodbye and starts toward the second place she’d come here to see.

Maestro Rivera’s music conservatory is a gorgeous old building, bustling with young students lugging around instrument cases that are still just a bit big for them. There’s a particular kind of cacophony that only comes from music schools and makes her miss Yavin fiercely.

More than a few of the students recognise her and excitedly ask for selfies and after a few minutes of increasingly awkward smiling and being maneuvered within various configurations of friendship groups, she asks them where she can find the maestro. Two of them immediately appoint themselves as her guides, eagerly pointing out various ensemble rooms and places of interest, including a bin where the great Rodrigo de Sousa apparently set all the school’s Tchaikovsky scores on fire in a fit of adolescent pique. With the benefit of years of living with Cassian, Jyn just manages to keep up with their slowed-down Spanish, though she keeps her responses to a minimum to avoid having to use her apparently comical accent. 

About a month after that first recital at Yavin, Jyn — feeling outgunned in the romance stakes after Cassian had so tenderly nursed her back to health then treated her to a series of increasingly lovely dates — tried to tell him how she felt in Spanish, practising in the mirror more times than she was willing to admit until the words felt comfortable in her mouth.

Once she’d said them, Cassian’s expression was almost entirely charmed, but she still caught the laugh he’d quickly suppressed.

Flustered and a little dismayed, she asked, ‘How did I not get it right? I looked it up in a proper dictionary and everything.’

Quickly wrapping her in his arms, he explained between kisses that he’d just never heard such strongly Danish-accented Spanish before. ‘I think your brain just defaulted to the foreign accent it already knew.’

Somewhat mollified, Jyn nevertheless looked up the hardest words she knew in Danish and made Cassian pronounce them, which he did with exaggerated incompetence.

Then of course, because he really was impossible to compete with as a romantic, he took her face in his hands and said, his voice hushed and reverent, ‘I’m falling in love with you too.’

She shivers now as she did then, but her reverie is soon interrupted by their arrival at Maestro Rivera’s room. 

The man who opens the door looks like some kind of vengeful Old Testament deity, all stern brow and long, white beard. No wonder Cassian and Rodrigo are as good as they are, if this is who was telling them to practise. His face soon brightens as he takes her in though. ‘Ms Erso, what a pleasure.’ He takes her hand and presses it to his lips. ‘How you have grown since the last time I saw you.’

Jyn opens her mouth in surprise, brow furrowing. ‘When—’

He links his arm with hers and starts to walk down the hallway, raising an eyebrow at the two students who have surreptitiously moved to follow them and sending them scurrying off. ‘Your father and I crossed paths a few times before I retired here. I remember you as a very well-behaved young child at one of his concerts.’

‘That doesn’t really sound like me.’ Hellion had been bandied about quite a lot during her childhood.

‘Ah!’ He chuckles. ‘Perhaps not normally, but you were so enchanted by the music, even then. You followed your father’s fingers so closely, I’m surprised you didn’t turn out to be a violinist.’

‘I nearly did.’ She’s about to go on to explain why she chose piano instead, but decides she’s had enough of thinking about children losing their parents for one day.

‘Now, I think that you did not come here to talk about your past.’ Guiding them to one of the many photos lining the corridor, he points to one with a hint of mischief. ‘Maestro de Sousa tells me one of my other students has caught your eye.’

The photo shows a string ensemble mid-performance and in the first row sits Cassian at around eight years old, face serious as he holds his little 13 inch viola aloft. She gasps out a delighted laugh at his terrible haircut and chubby cheeks, marvelling at how they could have transformed into the razor-sharp beauty of the man she knows. 

Maestro Rivera laughs along with her. ‘Puberty really was a blessing for that boy. But so talented.’ He frowns. ‘I’ve always thought he’s wasted on the viola. You know, I tried so hard to get him to switch to the violin, but he would not listen.’

Jyn thinks of how Cassian’s face lights up when he’s playing with the orchestra in a way that it never quite does when he plays alone. ‘He’s too selfless for violin, he just likes making other people sound good.’

The maestro hums in acknowledgement. ‘And of course there was his mother. A truly impressive musician. She played like you, not quite as beautifully as Cassian, but with such fire.’

‘With the blood?’

‘With the blood, exactly. I see someone has been stealing my lines.’ He leads her down the corridor to other photos of Cassian, including one of him and Rodrigo in a string quartet, arms around each other and smiling. Jyn gets out her phone and is about to take a picture of it when Maestro Rivera plucks the frame off the wall and hands it to her. ‘Consider this my payment.’

Raising an eyebrow as she puts the photo away, she asks, ‘Payment for what?’

‘For the piano recital that you’re about to give for my students, of course.’ His tone is benevolent but brooks no argument and she pities the poor soul who would ever try to say no to this man.

Within half an hour, she finds herself seated at an old but well-maintained grand piano and surrounded by students. Most of the hastily-gathered crowd is seated but the maestro has allowed the pianists to come up close and they watch her technique with eagle eyes, making her think harder about it than she has in a while.

She plays the Prokofiev from her current tour repertoire along with some Beethoven and Mozart for good measure. Once she’s finished, the piano students are asked to list all of her mistakes, with any that they missed helpfully supplied by Maestro Rivera. 

It’s just like she’s back with Saw, and she makes a note to find his most recent contact details. Rumour has it he’s somewhere in Mongolia doing something interesting with throat singers.

After many more selfies and a fond ‘Hasta pronto’ from the maestro, who’s coming to the concert in a few days, she’s put in someone’s parent’s car and driven back to the bus stop. 

While she waits, she gets a message from Cassian. You still awake?

She goes to call him before realising the country code will ruin her surprise and she doesn’t have enough data for an internet call. With a disappointed sigh, she replies, Barely. Talk tomorrow?

Okay. Miss you. 

She feels a little awful, knows he’s even more stressed about coming to Mexico and the concert than he’s letting on. But she’ll more than make up for it tomorrow. God, she’s never felt better about dropping two grand on a whim. Miss you too, it’s not long now. Have a safe flight.

Yeah, just two more weeks. I love you.

Who knows, maybe it’ll feel shorter. Love you too. So much. Even without those cheekbones.

????? 

;)

[in-tua-deep]

 Masterlist of AUs

okay i’m never putting anything under a read more ever again bc i deleted this whole ass thing and now i’m redoing it so forget me worrying about it being long af it’s what it is my friends

me, scrolling back through my blog: where tf are all my aus smh

(this is why i need them all in one place)

so without further ago, here we go (the title brings you to the tag on my blog, the numbers bring you the posts for that au): 

short stay au - Five jumps forward into the apocalypse and gets stuck, but not for forty-five years. No, in fact, Five is only stuck for one year before he figures out how to get home. Which means the Hargreeves get a lap full of traumatized teenage boy with no idea who the Commission agents trying to kill them are (one)

dolores is the universe au - Dolores isn’t just a mannequin, she’s actually the concept of the universe. The only reason Five can hear her is because overuse of his powers has given him enough exposure to the rift between world that she can reach him. But how to explain this to the siblings who think he’s just traumatized? (one, two, three)

immortal au - The first time Five died, he didn’t know it. The second time was harder to explain. The third and the fourth... well. In the apocalypse, Five figures out that he can’t die, which would be fine except every time he dies he resets himself to thirteen. Puberty? Again? Everyone is more than a little concerned about Five’s lack of concern over his welfare, but hey he’ll start caring again when he’s got further to fall okay? (one)

imaginary friend au - When Five was little, he had an imaginary friend named Dolores. He had that imaginary friend for far longer than he should have, to the point where Reginald intervened. And so they all remember this when Five pops back up toting around a mannequin and calling her Dolores, the only difference is Five has stopped giving a single fuck what old Reggie had to say and he isn’t giving up his friend again so easily (one)

instant arrival au - When Five jumps forward, he doesn’t jump into the apocalypse. Instead, he jumps straight into his father’s funeral. He sort of treats it as a weird vacation until he finds out Ben is dead and tries to return, and finds out he can’t. Now his siblings have to deal with a thirteen-year-old brother who saves the day by just being himself (one, two, three)

barking mad au - Vanya’s apocalypse was more targeted and only killed the humans. Five jumps into the apocalypse and instead of being alone, he’s adopted by the feral packs and colonies that have cropped up. He learns to bark and purr and growl and hiss to communicate, finding friends and family where humanity is gone. Of course, this makes returning to said humanity more than a little bit tricky. It’s not his fault his siblings are dense and don’t understand body language, ugh. (one, two, three)

pushed au - Instead of forbidding time travel, Reginald encourages it. He pushes Five to try it, and so when Five vanishes it’s Reginald’s fault. Written off as no great loss, the siblings realize how disposable they are. Who of them will be the next Five? Trust broken, they don’t stick around to find out and run away. When Five returns, it’s to a very different family who has learned how to depend on one another and protect each other. Together, they figure out how to stop the apocalypse (one)

memory mishap au - The siblings take Five’s hands and jump back in time, and it works! They’re thirteen again! Except for the fact that Five had managed to forget everything that happened since the day he decided to jump forward in time the first time. It’s the others turn to protect him as they run away. Five tries to get his memories back, but is that really what’s best? (one, two)

ghost five au - Five doesn’t leave. He stays, and when that one fateful day happens where one of them is slated to die, Five decides to bite the bullet and take Ben’s place. Even knowing Klaus’s powers, he wasn’t really expecting to wake up as a ghost. He somehow unites the family through the power of being irritating and getting Klaus involved. (one) 

broken five au - Reginald puts his foot down once and for all about time travel, by threatening Vanya’s life if Five puts another toe out of line. Five, fully believing his father capable of getting rid of the ‘useless’ child, shuts down. When his siblings find out what broke Five, they all decide to run away for their own safety as much as Vanya’s. They end up adopted by a woman happily living in the woods in her cabin who wasn’t expecting to adopt seven children but here she is and she certainly isn’t returning them to Reginald so. Seven kids it is. (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven)

run nanny run au - Look the nannies aren’t blind. They know Reginald doesn’t care about the kids and is looking at them like they’re weapons and not people, so it really shouldn’t be as surprising as it is that they decide to just take the kids and run one day. They are going to give these seven toddlers normal childhoods if it kills them, even if they have to dodge Reginald and the law as they do so. And no one forces Vanya to eat oatmeal like damn (one)

travel forward au - Instead of taking them back, Five miscalculates. It shouldn’t be unexpected, seeing as Five has never taken passengers before. But he manages to slingshot them directly into the future - into the apocalypse. The family gets a first hand look at how Five lived for forty years and gain a better understanding of their brother as he frantically works to get them all out again before they starve to death. (one, two)

daemon au - a crossover with the His Dark Materials universe by Philip Pullman, the Umbrella Academy live in a world where their souls walk beside them in the form of animals made of a material called dust. Of course, with these guys it can never be that simple. Ben’s daemon didn’t vanish upon his death and hangs out with Klaus, Luther and Diego’s daemons are always fighting, Allison’s is lazy and disagrees with her constantly, there’s something off about Vanya’s, and Five’s hasn’t settled yet. It’s certainly a bit of a mad house. (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, art)

plush companion au - Dolores wasn’t the only friend Five made in the apocalypse. A terrified and grieving child, he built himself a city out of statues and mannequins and stuffed animals. He built himself an entire world in his own imagination to keep himself from crumbling to insanity. Of course, his siblings have a few question after their brother turns back up and suddenly there’s toys turning up in the manor? (one)

atla au - a crossover with Avatar: The Last Airbender, aka all the kids are benders. In a universe where the Xth avatar is foretold to bring about the end of the world, Reginald manages to get his hands on seven children born whose mother’s hadn’t been pregnant when the day began. Apparently he’s training them to defeat this eventual evil avatar, but little do they know that said avatar is among them and tricked into believing she’s a nonbender (one, two)

suppression au - Reginald doesn’t just use his power suppression drugs on Vanya, he uses them as punishment on the others. They learn that their powers can be taken away on a whim and as punishment, and they’re forced to adapt. Five teaches Vanya the skills he learns to cope without powers, because without them they’re on the same level of competency. Vanya realizes just because she’s ordinary she isn’t useless. A more confident and competent Vanya results, and it changes the future for the better (one)

pianist five au - Vanya isn’t the only child who picks up an instrument. Five learns how to play the decorative piano in the mansion so that he can accompany Vanya’s practice. It becomes more than a hobby. In the end, when words can’t get through to the White Violin, it’s perhaps only music that can soothe the savage beast. (one)

artist klaus au - Klaus was a good artist as a child before Reginald deemed art as being ‘childish’ and forbid it. He forgets until he does some art therapy in rehab, and reignites his passion. He steals notebooks and art supplies and does drawings and caricatures for a quick buck on the streets. When the apocalypse is stopped, he also introduces art therapy to his siblings. It’s just soft tbh (one, two)

out of time au - Five doesn’t jump to eight days before the apocalypse, he jumps to the day of. He has to figure things out and figure them FAST. As such, he’s much more open to delegation and includes Vanya in this because lord knows he’s aware she’s more sensible than half his siblings. And if Vanya and Leonard argue when she wants to look after her brother that she only just got back well, if the apocalypse was prevented by this rift then it’s probably for the best (one) 

how i met your mother au - The Hargreeves jump back in time, but way back to before they were even born. They find their birth mothers, and get to learn exactly who they were, and it’s a little alarming to find out that they’re all people. The kids built them up in their heads as the monsters who gave them up, but they’re just people with hopes and dreams and fears, capable of mistakes and who had to make a choice on the worst day of their lives. (one)

responsible luther au - Five only spends a year in the apocalypse before jumping back and is relieved to find he has four years to stop the apocalypse. Except, Reginald decides that Five isn’t getting out of his hands again and restrains him. The last child left in the house, Luther, has a choice to make. And he makes it. He chooses Five, and absconds with him from the house. Luther tries to help a deeply traumatized Five recover, while also dealing with his reunited family and Reginald teaming up with the Commission to kidnap Five back. To be honest he should have only expected a mess when all the Hargreeves come together (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve)

in the trenches au - Just because Vanya is ‘powerless’ doesn’t mean useless. After all, Klaus doesn’t exactly have a combat based power. So Vanya was included, she was part of the Umbrella Academy, she went on the missions and killed and got hurt and risked her life alongside everyone else. Which means that she isn’t dismissed, she isn’t excluded. She’s as much a part of this as they all are, and that changes everything (one)

post apocalypse au - Just things I think the Hagreeves should get up to in a world where they have to deal with the fact that the world isn’t going to end and they actually have to inhabit it. They decide to try and live instead of whatever they’ve been doing for twenty-nine years, figuring out what they like and don’t like as they go where they were never really allowed to before (one)

late addition au - on one fateful day, forty-three women gave birth despite not beginning the day pregnant. Forty-three women produced forty-four children, and that one extra wasn’t exactly supposed to be there. Indeed, unhappy with the apocalypse plans, the Universe slipped her own child next to another as an almost sleeper agent of sorts. Five grew up with his mother’s voice in his ear, the knowledge that he wasn’t like the others, and a mission to take out the true cause of the apocalypse: the Commission. (one, two)

double trouble au - They stop the apocalypse, but that’s not the end of it because a few days after it all ends Five shows up. Except Five is already there. This is a younger Five who time traveled, except there’s no apocalypse to meet him now. Baby Five manages to convince his elder counterpart to see how long it takes the rest of the siblings to cotton onto the fact that there are two of them, and it’s downright alarming how long it actually takes (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight)

pride and prejudice au - The Hargreeves have returned to Netherfield to figure out the estate after their father’s death. Airheaded Klaus falls head over heels for local soldier Dave Katz, much to the chagrin of over-protective and pig-headed brother Diego. Fortunately, Dave has the fearsome and wonderful Eudora Patch at his side as his best friend. And his little sister, Dolores, is best friends with Five Hargreeves? And for reasons unknown, the Handler is back and sniffing around. (one, two, three, four, five, six)

poster child au - Klaus is a little bit more accurate with that fire extinguisher and Five drops through into the courtyard with a bloody nose and the beginning of a frankly impressive black eye. It’s looking like the poster child for child abuse that Five goes to griddy’s, and Agnes isn’t leaving this abused child alone out front, right? So she witnesses everything and ends up taking Five under her wing and rolling with the whole ‘stop the apocalypse’ train. Along the way she adopts six more children adults, falls in love with an assassin, and saves the world (one)

mechanical boy au - Five and Grace have always been close, in their own way. Away from prying eyes, with careful sentences and unsaid words. Allies in survival against a man who doesn’t care if they live or die. An exploration of a Five who takes more of an interest in his mother, and more in subterfuge. (one, two, three)

ben saves the day au - Instead of Ben dying, it was Klaus. Without his two favorite brothers, Ben drifts away from the family. He leaves when he hits 18 and doesn’t look back. He builds himself a life, gets a job, learns to live. And then of course he’s tossed back into drama central when Reggie kicks the bucket. On the bright side, Ben got one of his favorite brothers back. On the other hand, it appears that Ben got the entire family’s brain cells in the divorce. (one, two, three)

robot five au - Five is just like any of the other Hargreeves, except of course for the fact that he shares more in common with their mother than the other squishier members of the family. It’s a difficult existence, trying to be yourself when even just having free will is too much to ask. But a little trip to the apocalypse and back and Five is done with all this human bullshit and would like very much for people to stop trying to kill his family, thank you. If the others can accept Grace as their mother then on god they will accept Five as their brother. (one, two)

the commission boy au - The Boy was the only success in a series of failures regarding experiments with Number Five’s DNA, or at least the samples left behind after his rather explosive exit. Growing up trained to be the perfect assassin, the Boy eventually discovers the Commission’s dirty laundry. Mainly, the existence of Five. Assuming that Five is another successful experiment and his ‘brother’, the Boy betrays the Commission and embarks on a journey to discover who his family are, and more importantly, who he is. (one, two, three, four, five, six)

hogwarts au - When Five is ten, a woman comes to the house and talks about magic. Reginald tosses her out, but Five follows her and tells her with wide innocent eyes that their father bought them and is planning to expose their ‘powers’ to the world. The magical community can’t have that, and all seven children are bundled up and placed at Hogwarts. They still have their powers, which don’t seem to be linked to their magic in any way, but they’re not about to tell any of the adults that. (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven)

changeling au - When 43 children were born around the world, they became a curiosity that got the attention of a powerful member of the fae, The Handler. Changelings are traditional, so she sent off a minion to swap one of the children with her own - except something goes wrong. The switch isn’t made. One woman assumes she had twins, and gives both of them to Reginald Hargreeves. Five grows up with rules. Lies burn like coal on his tongue, he is bound to his word, and he knows the true power of names. The Handler isn’t willing to let sleeping dogs lie. (one, two, three)

timeboy au - When Five is young, he finds a blue box in an alley that feels like home. He finds a friend, the TARDIS finds family. She finds him again, over and over through the years. Five grows up with the TARDIS’s voice humming in his head, blue glowing on his hands. He asks her to teach him to time travel, and she does. But when he jumps - time screams. It’s wrong. It’s time for a team up between Five and Team TARDIS to fix the timeline, prevent the apocalypse, and learn some important life lessons along the way. (one, two, ao3)

supernatural au - In another world, 43 children appeared out of thin air. In this world, Reginald is a collector. Of what, you might ask? Well just look in his library. Reginald Hargreeves is one of the world’s foremost expects on supernatural and mythical creatures. Why, just look at his children. (one)

pokemon au - Blessed by legendaries, the Umbrella Academy aren’t entirely human. They look human enough, but humans can’t learn pokemon moves. Humans don’t have a type. Reginald wriggles through a loophole, and gets custody of seven legendary children, though of course there are only six on a traditional team. Sorry Vanya. (one)

gym leader au - the Hargreeves are certainly a power family since they were trained from infancy to be the best trainers they can be. Of course, being gym leaders means they’re in the middle of all the weird and wacky shit that happens. Don’t mention the celebi incident that resulted in the dragon gym leader looking like a teenager, for the love of god. (one)

unviable au - Time travel doesn’t work. It needs a conduit. Taking all of time into something as fallible as a human heart... Five gets to the apocalypse, and he doesn’t immediately realize that he can’t touch things any more. He can’t interact with the world. He figures he got stuck in a pocket dimension of some sort, and eventually manages to travel back in time - except the only people who can see him are Klaus and Ben. They tell him that he’s dead, a ghost, but that’s not going to stop him from saving his family and, maybe, the world. (one, two, three)

prophet five au - Five’s time powers are a little different than canon. When he dreams, he sees the future. A possible future. He spends most of his childhood tweaking and prodding at the world to make sure his family is safe, terrified of being discovered. And then he starts dreaming of the apocalypse, of a life he hasn’t lived, and he decides to change the world. But he needs a little help. That’s where Vanya comes in. (one)

delayed au - when forty-three children were born, one mother looked Reginald Hargreeves in the eyes and said, no thank you. She would raise her child herself, thanks. Except her son turns five-years-old, and he’s not safe. He teleports, and he gets lost, and - she turns to the academy in desperation. Five knows about the outside world. Knows that he was loved. Reginald is full of shit, and Five tries his best to save the world. (one)

tog/tua crossover - Five dies in the apocalypse and starts dreaming of other people. Andy has been confused about the immortal child she’s dreamed about on and off for eons. Nile joins the team and with the power of google search, they set off to find the mystery child immortal. Five, on the other hand, would just like to stop the apocalypse and maybe take down the commission thank-you-very-much. (one, two, three)

rebel vanya au - Vanya’s meds suppressed her powers, but her emotions were fine. Vanya grew up loud, grew up sneaking out and acting out because the only attention she could wrench from Reginald was negative attention. With anger in her heart, a friendship with her favorite two brothers based on bashing their father, and girlfriend Helen Cho that was maybe an enemies to lovers orchestra au. When Five pops back up, Vanya isn’t going to let anything get in the way or her and her girlfriend’s concert, so obviously they have to stop the apocalypse. Right? (one)

the red book au - Five finds several things in the apocalypse. He finds an eye, he finds Vanya’s book, and he finds Reginald’s notebook. Five finds out about his sister’s powers when he’s just a teenager, and grows up knowing about them. This... changes some things, when he hops back in time to save everyone. (one, two)

five meets susan au - Susan Pevensie is an old woman now, but that’s okay, because Five is old as well where it matters. They’ve both lived through loss and love and heartache, both know what it’s like to be too old to be so young and too young to be so old. They both know what it’s like to be lost in a world so different from the one they knew before. They both know what it’s like to be left alone. But that’s okay, because Five needed someone who understands him and Susan is the closest thing he’s got. (one, two, three)

oneshots - Just little oneshots, usually within the scope of vague canon or post-stopping the apocalypse times where I write about just family bonding and conversation I would like to see happen in canon. Usually about the siblings bonding and occur on a whim. (one)

[writersrealmbts]

Protect Them-Hybrid AU: Part 9

Description: Safe with Me Sequel! You work two days a week teaching kids the joys of learning and reading, your favorites being the triplets. When the triplet’s adopted older brother is the one that starts picking them up, you’re not sure what life just handed you but you’re pretty sure it’s just another little slice of heaven. Hoseok x Reader.

Warnings: I don’t even know, if you do, let me know and I’ll change the warnings.

Posted: 02/24/2019

Tags: Hybrid!au, hybrid!Hoseok, Safe With Me Sequel

Angst with fluffs: 2,496 words

A/N: Happy Part Nine! I’m weak and I’m posting early because I got responses to the quick census. I think you’ll be happy with the next part, which I will likely post on Wednesday! 

“It’s likely you had a complex-partial seizure,” The doctor said, smiling kindly. “I’ve looked at your file, and it’s possible given the damage caused to your brain in the accident. Your doctor even listed it here as something he was concerned about as a side effect. You’re lucky, you could have had a grand mal seizure. You’re normally on these medications, since the accident anyway?” He set a list in front of you. You read over it and nodded. A seizure. Of course. It made sense now. You had trained to help kids who had seizures as part of your first aid certification and now that the doctor said it all of the symptoms made sense. “This one is to suppress nerve pain, and is also used for people with epilepsy. It’s likely taking this prevented you from showing symptoms earlier. Or that you had similar seizures before and were unaware that they occurred. I’ve sent down these prescriptions for you, given the circumstances you’re in, and you should be able to pick them up on your way out at the pharmacy on the first floor.” “But she’s okay?” Hoseok asked. “I’d have to run more tests, but considering the seizure lasted under five minutes, I think she’s fine. We’ll get her back on her medication and hopefully that keeps them from happening again.” “Thank you,” You murmured. You were exhausted. “No problem. Get your prescriptions, get home, get some rest. Both of you. Kids, would you like stickers?” All three perked up, tails wagging excitedly, thanking him when they got their stickers. It was dark out when you pulled up to the summer house. Thankfully, your seizure had ended in the store, and you had insisted on checking out before going to the walk-in clinic (the closest thing the town had to a hospital). Hoseok had stopped and gotten pizzas for dinner because there was no way either of you were cooking. You had to direct Hoseok where to find the key in the treehouse from the ground, guessing more than anything, but he eventually found it and you all entered the house you used to come to every summer. It was nicer than you remembered, and looked like the interior had been remodeled in the past few years. “It’s nice,” Hoseok said, looking around. “Alright, first things first, get the kiddos set with some dinner. Y/n, you sit and eat too. I can handle bringing things in and making beds if you get them into pajamas.” “Deal.” You helped him put slices of pizza on plates for the kids and yourself, then sat with them at the table in the breakfast nook to eat while they ate. Minsu and Kaemon picked the pepperoni off, and Kae gave his to his brother. Nari ate like normal. Then after Minsu finished his piece of pizza, he ate the pepperoni. You got them into their pajamas with very little fuss, and managed to take a shower and change into your own pajamas, only needing Hoseok’s help to get the brace back on (while he ranted about how you could have hurt yourself). He then insisted on blow-drying your hair, at least partially. You then helped him tuck the kids in. They had all fallen asleep with Minsu in the end, an hour earlier than their actual bedtime. Then Hoseok carried you into one of the other bedrooms and tucked you in, seeing that your medicine was kicking in. But you would swear that you felt him kiss your forehead before he left. The first day at the summer house the kids were blissfully unaware of the trouble surrounding their trip to this magical place. They loved that they could play in the shallow waters, and Minsu had caught about five frogs by now, and all three of them adored the treehouse. Three days in the summer house had passed with relatively little to worry you or cause problems. Except Hoseok, but he was an eternal problem that you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to fix. He seemed hyper aware of you now, checking on you periodically, making sure you were okay, but even when you were perfectly fine and it showed—as you played with the kids happily—he seemed to have this look in his eyes that haunted you late at night. It was the fourth day at the summer house that you walked down to the corner market and got a paper, seeing the headlines. The lady who owned the market sent her twelve-year-old daughter to get Hoseok for you. “What happened? Did you have a seizure?” He asked the moment he entered the store, the truck parked outside the doors. You handed him the paper, a lump in your throat. “It’s over.” He frowned and read over the paper, confused about why you would be so upset, until he finished reading the title of the article. He inhaled sharply. “Your sister.” “Guess she really did change,” You choked out. He hugged you close, tight. “She was protecting you. She died to protect you.” “We should get back. The kids.” “Yeah,” He agreed simply, picking you up and carrying you to the car while you protested weakly. “Don’t deprive me of one of my few pleasures in life.” You snorted, but didn’t argue any further. You didn’t know how you felt, other than conflicted. On one hand, you could literally only count the nice things she’d done for you on that one hand. On the other, she was your sister. Your family. You powered your phone on, and texted Emma the address. An hour later, the triplets were screeching with joy, throwing themselves into their parents arms and being adoringly smothered by said parents. Four hours later and all of you were back at Emma and Jin’s, the kids running to Jimin, Jungkook, and three hybrid men you didn’t know, one of which had a very young toddler in his arms. Hoseok stuck beside you the whole time. It was in the evening that you and Emma were talking, Hoseok gone from your side. “She was working for the organization that was against us, the one that broke that vile thing out of jail. But she leaked all the information that they needed to take everyone down. She’s a hero. But that doesn’t mean that what she did to you in the past can be forgotten,” Emma said thoughtfully. “Some scars run deep.” You sighed shakily. “She was finally reaching out, honestly and good-naturedly. And now I won’t ever be able to find out if she really wanted to be in my life again. I won’t be able to replace the litany of terrible memories that she’s left in my mind with good ones. I think that’s honestly more upsetting to me. She finally changed, we might have finally had the chance to be and act like siblings and now the chance is gone. And for me, it seems like everyday I lose just a little bit more. I don’t know if I can take it.” “Oh, honey,” She sighed and held you a little tighter. “It’s going to be okay.” “It’s not,” You whispered, closing your eyes as the tears filled them. “What else is bugging you, hon? Hmm? Because I don’t think this is about your sister.” So you told her, everything from being afraid of living alone now that you apparently had seizures (even with the medicine), to how you felt like your heart had been ground into dust over Hoseok. How his smile made you feel like life was worth living, but knowing that he would never in his right mind give it to you made you feel like you were dying. You told her about your worry over finding a new job, a place to live, everything. All while crying your eyes out. She didn’t say much, small comforting things, mostly just letting you get it all out now that you were safe. She waited until your sobs were hiccups, and your tears had slowed. You were sort of limp in her arms, finding comfort in her. “You should talk to Hobi about it,” She finally said, gently brushing your hair from your face. “I know it’s scary, and I know it feels like too big of a risk right now, but if you don’t, you’re going to really hurt yourself in the long run. You can wait until you’ve recovered, but I think the sooner you do it the better it will be.” You nodded, then cracked a smile as she directed your hand to where one of her twins was kicking a tiny bit. “How are you doing?” “Well, normally twins come early, so I’m sort of worried, but the doctors were constantly checking on me at the sanctuary. If I don’t go into labor within the week, they’re going to do a c-section. I don’t think it’ll come to that though.” You sat up, smiling at her. “Why’s that? Did you have spicy food or something?” “Mmm, I could really go for some curry now…” She murmured, then shook her head. “No, but I should probably get Jin in a while and head to the hospital.” You looked at her. “You’re way too calm for someone who basically just said they’re in labor.” “I was in the hospital for two days with the triplets before they were born. You learn how long you can wait. Besides, they’re all cuddled up with Jin in this big pile of blankets and pillows and it’s adorable. Then Jungkook and Jimin joined them and it was even more adorable, so of course Hoseok joined them as well. Lots of good memories, and plenty of pictures.” She showed you one that she had taken. You grinned. She smiled at it as well, sighing. “Jungkook seemed so little when he first came, and grew so fast.” “The man that did those things to Hoseok…” “Tried to break into the Sanctuary. Thought he was there.” “And?” She shifted. “Jin put two bullets in his chest, and the police put a third in his head.” Her voice was surprisingly cold. “Good,” You said. She nodded slowly. “The files your sister released showed that Hobi was the first to survive him. Yoongi would have been killed too if he hadn’t been so strong. I’m not saying killing him was right, but I couldn’t sleep knowing he was out there somewhere. Hurting someone. Even if he had lived, he would have received the death penalty. He just got it a little sooner than he expected.” “Eomma?” Hoseok poked his head into the room, then froze, looking between you and Emma. You could see how he wanted to rush over and find out what was wrong, itching to try and comfort you because he couldn’t help it. He instinctively needed to protect you, that’s what he said. “Hey, Hobi. You okay?” She asked, her voice softer. He nodded tersely. “Everything okay here?” “Yeah, we’re just having some girl-talk. Can you go wake Jin, Hobi? Tell him we need to head to the hospital?” “Why?!” His tail fluffed out, eyes wide. She laughed softly. “Had to have these babies sometime, Hobi.” His shoulders relaxed dramatically. “Oh, right. Got it. I’ll go wake him up.” He handed you the box of tissues, then left. She lightly rubbed your back. “You okay?” “Yeah, I’ll be fine. You just focus on your babies,” You told her, leaning on her shoulder. “You try to relax. Don’t worry so much about you and Hobi. Everything will work out for the best.” You nodded, watching somewhat helplessly as she stood up and headed toward the hallway, slipping on her flats and her coat serenely as she waited for her husband. Jin came quickly with a bag, dressed again, and he kissed her. “You ready, baby?” “Yeah, honey. I’m ready. Hobi…” “I’m in charge, I know the drill. I’ll bring the kids in when you call.” He kissed her cheek, nuzzling it lightly. “Love you, Eomma.” “Love you too.” She looked over at you and smiled reassuringly. “Make sure she gets to bed at a decent time, yeah?” “I will.” He smiled at you. His hair was a bit messy from his nap and you just wanted to run your hands through it. Your heart ached as you watched how lovingly Jin looked at Emma as they left, the way he seemed to know what was enough attention and what was too much. You wanted something like that. You had something similar, but his heart wasn’t actually in it. Just his instinct. You wanted it because the other person loved you, really and truly loved you. And someone as amazing as Hoseok was way out of your league. “Hey, you still with me?” He asked, crouching in front of you. You nodded, giving him a fleeting smile. “Yeah, just…kind of jealous of her and Jin, you know?” He broke into a grin as he chuckle. “I do know. I mean, they have everything. Even if the past week has been absolutely crazy. They have the house, with the yard, and three angels sleeping upstairs with their adopted kids while they go to the hospital to give birth to two more angels. You know, they’re actually married? It’s so rare in the world of hybrids to actually get married, most just mate.” “But she’s human,” You pointed out, shrugging. “Marriage is something we sort of dream about. Some don’t see it as necessary and others believe it very necessary or right, or just plain romantic.” “What about you?” You dared to glance at his face for the very smallest moment. “I don’t know. When I was younger I dreamed about a wedding. My dad walking me down the isle, I’d have a sunflower and lily bouquet, and my family would be getting along. My mom would cry, and my sister would be my maid of honor. Instead, my father and sister are dead, and my mom is in jail and has refused every attempt I’ve made to visit her because I turned her in. And I’m allergic to lilies. I can’t even really walk.” “You’re getting better,” He reassured you softly, his eyes sad as he gently held your hand. “Am I?” You asked, then sighed. “It just feels like it never ends.” He nodded, then got up before picking you up. “You’ll feel better tomorrow, after you get some sleep. Do you want to go to the hospital with us?” You shrugged. “It’s a family thing. I don’t want to intrude.” “You won’t be intruding. You’re part of this family now.” He helped you pull the covers over you. “Besides, they’re going to be cute kids.” “They’ve got good genes,” You replied, half-asleep already. He whispered something in reply, kissing your forehead, but you were drifting to sleep too fast to make it out.

Masterlist.  ~  Part 8.  ~  Part 10.  ~  Masterpost.

Tagged: @jiminslye @musicandmusing @it-is-dana @kimmie113080 @bluebirdphantom

[serenlyss]

Don’t Thank Me Yet Chapter 10

Rating: M (blood, guns, murder, torture, child neglect) Relationships: ritshou, ritsu&shigeo, ritsu&his parents Summary: “Alright then. I’m Shou,” he says, introducing himself more properly this time. “I’m an esper, like you, the first in existence to be forcibly awoken by Claw’s crazy torture machines. They kidnap kids with potential latent psychic powers and break them, over and over, until either their powers emerge or they die. It doesn’t matter either way to them.” His expression hardens as he speaks, clear distaste and outright malice evident in his tone. “I could really use your help here, you know. A partner of sorts, someone to watch my back. What do you say?“ Ritsu hesitates. He isn’t a fighter by any means, and the psychic powers now churning beneath his skin are still very new and frightening. It’s all very overwhelming, but Ritsu can’t help but feel a sort of sickening hope at Shou’s promise for revenge. It did have a sort of dark draw to it. In which Claw is a lot worse than they seem and Shigeo isn’t able to find his brother after he’s kidnapped. Crossposted to AO3: Chapter 10

Chapter 9

Oh god it's finally here, the last chapter. Thank you all so much for reading this and supporting me, it's been a wild, fun ride. I hope you enjoy this ending and that it's satisfying, it's been a long time since I've actually finished a project this long and intensive before so I'm a little nervous but I like how it turned out! Be sure to let me know your thoughts if you like it, and check out my other projects if you're interested!

---

Ritsu goes home.

He’s nervous, really nervous, so nervous that his palms are sweating and his shoulders are quivering beneath the sleeves of his hoodie. It’s summer, and his house isn’t cold, but the hoodie covers his arms and hides the scars he’s still too embarrassed to let be seen by just anyone. He’d been convinced to leave his gloves behind, at least, but now that he knows his parents’ arrival is close he stuffs both hands into his hoodie pocket to hide them. “I don’t know if I can do this,” he stammers, feeling the anticipatory anxiety course through him like a drug.

Shigeo lays a hand on Ritsu’s back, between his shoulder blades, a firm and comforting presence. “It’s going to be fine,” he promises with a smile, reaching up to flick Ritsu’s too-long bangs out of his eyes. He’s long overdue for a haircut, his hair grown unruly without someone else around to tame it for him, all he can think about is how sloppy he’s about to look in front of his parents during their first interaction in more than four months. He’s clean, sure, but he hasn’t been taking care of himself as well as he should have, and as silly as it is he can’t shake the thought that it matters, more than the fact that he’s finally coming home does.

Still, he nods in response to his brother’s words and steels his nerve, and does his best not to pick at the scars on his hands as an outlet for some of his anxious energy.

When his parents walk through the door, rightfully confused that their house is, in fact, not a pile of ashes on the grass, and appears completely untouched, Ritsu is waiting. He’s tempted to turn invisible, just to give himself more time to think, time to rehearse what he’s going to say, but Shigeo squeezes his hand and smiles at him reassuringly, and it’s enough for him to hold his ground and stutter out an awkward, nervous greeting to them.

The moment his parents lay eyes on him, they both freeze, and Ritsu has to suppress the urge to shrink into himself under the weight of their wide-eyed stares. Shigeo’s hand in his is a constant, comforting presence for the few seconds they stand silently, just looking at each other, before his mother finally breaks the trance and rushes forward to envelop him in the biggest, tightest hug he's ever had. And he melts into it, tears in his eyes, because he’s missed this so much, missed them, and the feeling of finally having them back is just a little bit overwhelming.

He doesn’t remember most of what he says, his words a jumble of stuttered apologies and reassurances that he’s here, he’s home, he’s alright, that he isn’t going to go anywhere anytime soon. His mother frets over how thin and ragged he looks, the scars on his face and hands, the still-fresh injuries from his fight again Claw, and he answers with short words and vague responses that he knows he’ll have to flesh out later but there will be time for that, so much time, because he’s home now, and he has no intention of leaving them behind again.

---

Being home is weird, but going back to school is weirder. People stare at him like he’s come back from the dead, and the stares make him itch and squirm in his seat when he’s trying his best to ignore them. The sleeves of his old uniform blazer cover most of the scars he doesn’t want his classmates to see, but he’s long left behind his gloves. The scars on his palms itch and throb when people stare at them, and he takes to hiding his hands in his pockets when he’s not using them for something else.

He rejoins the student council, but it’s… awkward, to say the least. No one knows how to approach him anymore, and it’s hard to pretend that nothing’s happened when his scars give everything away. Still, he does his best to pretend like he doesn’t notice and slips back into old, familiar routines as best as he can. He talks as though he’s never been gone at all, and waves off any questions or concerns his old acquaintances might have for him. He bites his tongue to keep from saying things he knows won’t be taken well and tamps down the rebelliousness that Shou’s constant presence had fed, at least while he’s at school, and only allows himself to relax and breathe once he’s back home, in his room, with the door closed and the window open to let fresh air in.

Shigeo does what he can. It makes the transition so much smoother, to have his brother there to help him, but they don’t see each other much outside of the house. Still, Shigeo offers his support where he’s needed, whether it’s reminding Ritsu to eat or giving him someone to talk to when things get a little too overwhelming. On nights where Ritsu’s nightmares keep him from sleeping safely, Shigeo makes space for him in his room, and they crowd under the same blanket, sharing the same futon, the way they used to when they were toddlers. Ritsu tucks his head against Shigeo’s shoulder and his brother holds him close and it doesn’t stop the nightmares from coming back, but it makes him feel safe enough that just for the night, he can sleep enough to get through the next day. They never talk when this happens, but it’s different from all the times they didn’t talk before, when things would bother them. There are no words that need to be said about it, it isn’t a problem that can be fixed with words. It helps, though, it really does.

Ritsu’s mother keeps a close eye on him now that he’s home. Ritsu can tell that she’s trying not to hover, but it’s hard for her. He understands, but that doesn’t stop him from feeling stifled, sometimes. Ritsu’s kidnapping hasn’t only affected him, it’s affected the whole family, who will never interact with each other the same way they did before.

They skirt the issue. It’s what they’ve always done, and it will likely be what they always do. They try to pretend like nothing ever happened, and it feels wrong, so wrong. After three days, Ritsu gets tired of it. He stops hiding his scars from them, and he stops pretending like his four months away hadn’t meant anything, hadn’t changed him. He doesn’t talk about Claw, it’s still too sore a subject to tackle for more than a few minutes at a time, but he does talk about Shou, and tells stories about the quieter moments, the domestic ones, the times where he’d almost felt like a normal kid again. Slowly, he starts to reconcile the person he used to be with the person he is now, and finds that neither version of himself is better or worse than the other. They’re both him, in different points in time, versions of him that had progressed and regressed in different ways. Though his experiences, he’s come out a slightly different but still recognizable person. It’s an ongoing process, one he’ll no doubt continue to build on until the day he dies, but it’s a start nonetheless, and it brings him a certain inexplicable comfort to know that despite everything, he’s still himself.

He misses Shou. A lot. He’d always known he would, but it doesn’t really hit him until a few days into his return. It’s easy to put out of his mind during the day, usually, but at night, when he lays in his bed and stares at his ceiling, so familiar to him yet still not fully his anymore, he thinks about how he’d really like for Shou to be here with him. He doesn’t feel like he needs to tiptoe around Shou, to try to spare his feelings the way he has to do with his parents. He misses that freedom, the type of relaxation and comfort he can only achieve in a place that’s far away from here. The closest thing he has to that is Shigeo, but as much as he loves his brother, he’s no Shou.

Ritsu texts Shou occasionally: life updates, random thoughts, maybe a photo, when he remembers to take one. He does his best to keep his thoughts brief and mundane, to not let himself get overwhelmed and spill his guts all over Shou’s messaging app, but it’s hard when he has thoughts in his head that he wants to express but that feel too intimate to drop unceremoniously over the phone. There will be time to talk, he reminds himself, and tells Shou about the stray cat he saw on his way home instead of how he wishes his classmates would stop treating him like he’s diseased.

Shou never responds to them, but Ritsu has a feeling that he at least reads them. Each time he hits send on the next message, Ritsu holds out a little bit of hope that maybe Shou will slip up this time and give him something, anything, to remind him that he’s still there, still watching, still waiting for the day he can come back. He’s disappointed every time when he never does.

---

Things never go back to how they’d been before, but there’s some truth to it when they say that old habits die hard. After a few weeks it starts to feel like maybe that entire day is just the remnants of a fever dream, something that becomes increasingly cloudy and unclear with every passing day. Ritsu fills Shou’s phone with messages that go unanswered and hangs out with Shigeo and Reigen whenever he has extra time, distracting himself with whatever random jobs Reigen has for him to do. Having something to focus on keeps him from thinking too much, because Ritsu knows that when he thinks too much, things start to get a little out of hand. Shou’s scolded him for it on several occasions.

Serizawa starts working at Spirits&Such not long after that day, and it’s… uncomfortable, to say the least. Ritsu does his best to let bygones be bygones, but even with a crisp suit and a new, clean haircut, he has trouble segregating this new, “reformed” Serizawa from the one who had attacked him and Shou at the top of the cultural tower. Despite this, Serizawa did save his life, once, and so he still tries, as futile as his attempts feel. He catches Reigen smiling at him, sometimes, and guesses that his attempts are at least  recognized, if not totally effective. He doesn’t think about it too hard.

The only time he gives himself to think is at night, before he goes to bed. Sometimes they’re good thoughts, healthy thoughts, and sometimes… not so much. Tonight is a good night, he decides, curled up under his comforter up to his chin and with the window cracked open ever-so-slightly to let fresh air in. He feels productive, like he’s finally getting somewhere after three weeks of pushing against the current just to feel like he’s normal again. He’d even managed a polite conversation with Serizawa, despite his personal reservations. He thinks that maybe someday he’ll even be able to consider Serizawa a friend, as weird as the thought seems in the moment.

There will always be bad nights, he knows. They’ll never truly go away, but they get better, just a little. The bad nights become fewer and farther between the more time passes, and he’s thankful for the break as he lets himself succumb to sleep that night.

---

Ritsu’s always been a light sleeper, so he isn’t really surprised when he finds himself awake, buried underneath his comforter up to his chin as he stares bleary-eyed at his bedroom wall. Sometimes a particularly loud passing car or a gust of wind will wake him up, but when that happens he’s always quick to fall back asleep. He attempts to do so now, his eyes quickly falling shut again as he turns his nose into his pillow, but then he hears the sound of his window sliding closed and quiet footsteps on his bedroom floor and suddenly he’s wide awake, seized by a sudden panic in his half-asleep state.

His thoughts are racing a mile a minute, his sleep-foggy mind filled with a dozen nightmares of what this scenario might be, and the explanation he lands on is that it must be a member of Claw, come to finish the job, to take him away, to lock him back up in one of their labs or, worse, to silence him altogether.

For a few long, arduous seconds, Ritsu is frozen, wide eyes still glued to his bedroom wall. The footsteps move across his room and halt in front of his bookshelf, and finally, Ritsu moves. He sits up in bed and twists around as fast as he can, one hand snapping out in the direction of the footsteps. He lifts whoever has decided to break into his bedroom off of their feet with his telekinesis; even if it is someone from Claw, they shouldn’t be able to break his hold.

The trespasser squawks in a rather undignified fashion, and Ritsu’s brain short-circuits, because it’s an undoubtedly familiar noise, but his half-asleep brain takes a moment longer than necessary to process it. “Ritsu, oh my god! Chill, it’s just me!” the figure yelps, arms and legs flailing in midair.

Ritsu blinks once. Takes in the shock of red hair and the freckled face and the wide blue eyes staring back at him. Blinks again. Feels the breeze from his open window ruffle his hair and sees it disturbing the shades. Blinks a third time. “Shou?” he says, completely dumbfounded. Across the room, he wills his lamp to turn on, bathing the room in harsh yellow light. He releases his hold on Shou, dropping him six inches back onto his bedroom floor with a rather loud thud. His brain is static, and he can’t tell if he’s breathing enough because his throat is burning, his heart is racing, and Shou is here, in the middle of the night, climbing through his window like it’s no big deal and perusing the books on his shelf.

Shou takes a moment to right himself, looking understandably sheepish about being caught. “Uh, surprise?” he says lamely, shuffling on his feet and holding out his arms as though to announce his presence. “Sorry, I know it’s the middle of the night and all, but I finally got clearance to leave now that we’ve caught just about every-”

Ritsu hardly hears the words that come out of his mouth, filled with a sudden overwhelming urge, and he doesn’t have the strength or the will to fight it. He tosses his blankets off of his legs with one motion and scrambles out of bed, nearly falling onto his face in the process, and launches himself in Shou’s direction. The words in Shou’s mouth die abruptly as the wind is knocked out of him, and he stumbles backward, but Ritsu catches him around his waist and hugs him so tightly that he’s forced to keep his footing.

“Oh god,” Shou wheezes, a laugh bubbling up in his chest, and after a moment he settles his arms around Ritsu’s shoulders and hugs him back. “I gotta say, this is not at all how I expected this to go,” he manages around breathy chuckles. “You’re kinda giving me mixed signals here. I thought you were gonna off me on the spot.”

“You asshole,” Ritsu mutters, pulling back just far enough to punch Shou in his shoulder. “You scared the shit out of me, showing up in the middle of the night after a month of radio silence.”

Shou winces, reaching up to rub the spot that will almost surely be bruised later, and offers Ritsu a grin. “Sorry, sorry, I was gonna wait, but, uh, patience has never been my strong suit. I would’ve tried a different approach if I’d known you’d spook like that,” he laughs, and the sound is like coming home for the first time in weeks.

Ritsu tugs Shou in for another tight hug, and this time Shou’s prepared for it. He hugs back in a way that Ritsu can tell is just a little bit uncomfortable for him, like he’s unsure where he should put his hands, and he makes a mental note to hug Shou more from now on. “I missed you,” he admits, feeling just a little out of breath and giddy from his scare and the rush of emotion he’d felt at finally being able to see his partner again.

Shou makes a noise, halfway between a startled gasp and a laugh. “Yeah, I missed you too,” he chuckles, the words coming out jumbled and stuttery as Shou attempts to reciprocate a feeling he likely doesn’t let himself think about too often. “It’s really good to see you, Ritsu.”

“You too,” Ritsu mumbles, face half-buried in Shou’s shoulder, and reluctantly pulls back after a few seconds after it starts to feel like maybe he’s overstayed his welcome. Shou doesn’t seem to mind, though, just flashing him an amused, crooked smile.

“So this is your house, hm?” Shou comments, glancing around with dramaticized appreciation. “Nice place.”

Ritsu rolls his eyes, drifting over to the foot of his bed and perching himself on the corner of it, leaving room for Shou to join him should he choose to do so. “You said you got clearance to come back. Does that mean…?” He trailed off uncertainly, almost afraid to bring the topic up in case he’s somehow mistaken.

Shou nods his head and follows Ritsu’s lead, sitting down on the bed beside Ritsu close enough that their shoulders touch. It’s not a wide bed, so it’s not like they have space to spread out anyway, but it’s nice to see Shou still comfortable in proximity with him after so many weeks. “Yeah, we finally tracked down Shimazaki a few days ago, and the rest was just paperwork and nonsense, I wasn’t even a part of that. They still made me wait, though, the bastards,” he complains, and Ritsu can’t help the silly grin that tries to break out onto his face. It’s past midnight and he has school tomorrow, but there’s no way he’s going back to sleep now.

“Well, you’re back now,” Ritsu says firmly, leaning forward on the bed and tilting his head up to look into Shou’s face. “That’s the important part.”

Shou flushes pink at this, pleased, and nods. “Yeah.”

Ritsu smiles, something that comes easier and easier with each passing day. “So, what are you gonna do now?” he asks, curious, and wonders if Shou has thought about it much since they’d parted ways.

He’s expecting a casual answer, maybe, something flippant and simple--his ideas are usually simple, after all--but what he isn’t expecting is to see Shou’s face fall, a persistent frown coming to his face where he’d usually wear a grin. “I don’t know,” he admits, uncharacteristically quiet. He reaches up with one hand to rub his opposite arm, fingers trailing over old scars. Ritsu watches the hand as it rubs up and down, an odd form of self-comfort that Shou is exhibiting. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but nothing I come up with really… feels right. I could go try to find my mom, but I wouldn’t even know how to begin to explain myself to her.” He sighs, reaching up with one hand to run his fingers through his bright red hair.

Ritsu hums, considers this for a moment, and watches as Shou throws himself back on the bed, his legs still hanging off the edge. He lets his arms flop down above his head, letting out a little noise of frustration. “I still have the house, I guess, but I can’t just keep hiding out there forever,” he continues, glaring up at the ceiling as though it’s at fault for all his tumultuous thoughts. “I’ve never really been a ‘normal kid,’ even before everything went down with Claw and I ran away. I guess I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do.”

He falls quiet after this, staring stubbornly up at the ceiling, and after a moment Ritsu lets himself fall back onto his mattress beside Shou, shoulders bumping once more. “Screw expectations, you’re not supposed to do anything,” he says after a moment, letting slip a little of the rebellious spirit Shou had nurtured in him those long four months together. “It’s not about what the ‘right thing’ is anymore, it’s about what you want to do now that you have the freedom to do it. So, Shou, what do you want to do?” He tilts his head to the side, meets Shou’s bright blue gaze only inches away from him on the bed, and raises a brow at him questioningly.

Shou ponders on this for a moment, his gaze flicking down and to the side before he looks back to Ritsu again. “I want to give school a try,” he says carefully, after a moment of quiet contemplation, “and I want to thank Reigen and Serizawa properly, for helping us out.”

Ritsu blinks in surprise at this. “Serizawa too?” he echoes, and does his best to disguise his caution at the mention of the former Claw terrorist. “He’s been working with Reigen, but I thought… what about the government?”

Shou blows a strand of hair out of his face, shrugging. “I didn’t turn him in,” he admits. “He really… he’s making an effort, I think. To change.”

“I thought you hated him,” Ritsu says. “What made you change your mind?”

Shou just shrugs again with a noncommittal hum, but his ears go a little pink as he tries to hide his embarrassment. “I dunno, he just… I think he realized that what was going on was wrong. Yeah, he knew what was happening, but he didn’t see any other way out of it. I guess he was just misguided,” he explains, his words slow and deliberately chosen.

“Like how you were misguided?” Ritsu guesses.

Shou laughs, quiet and brief, and lets his arms lay open at his sides. “Yeah, like that,” he agrees. “I guess I just felt like maybe he deserves a second chance. Somewhere far away from my old man.”

Ritsu glances away, up at the ceiling like Shou. “He did save our lives,” he concedes with a light chuckle. “If you’re sure, then I trust your judgement.”

Shou hums in affirmation, his legs swaying back and forth from where they hang half off the bed. The silence that falls between them in comforting, and Ritsu finds himself lulled by the gentle noises of the wind outside his cracked-open window and the sound of Shou’s easy, even breathing beside him. He blinks a few times, not sleepy, but content, in a way he hasn’t really felt since coming home.

“Hey, Ritsu?” Shou murmurs, his voice breaking the trance. “Thanks for waiting for me.” His voice is quiet and betrays his vulnerability for a moment, and Ritsu turns and finds himself face to face with Shou’s grateful face. “It probably sounds silly, but part of what kept me going was knowing that I had people waiting for me to come back safe. I’ve never really had that before, so thanks.”

It’s not so rare for Shou to express his gratitude like this, and he’s done it many times in the past, but something about this moment feels potent to Ritsu in a way the others hadn’t. There are other words hidden behind the ones that Shou speaks, words that Ritsu senses but can’t parse. Maybe they’re words that Shou isn’t quite ready to speak yet, or maybe he’s just waiting for another moment, a better time, so Ritsu doesn’t push for answers. “Of course,” he says instead, and reaches between them for Shou’s hand, slotting their fingers together and squeezing gently. “I know you didn’t have a lot of people to lean on growing up, but, well, I plan on sticking around for a while, so you better get used to having me around,” he teases, and it’s light-hearted and freeing to speak like this, in such a carefree way. He hasn’t been able to do this in a long time.

Shou laughs and squeezes his hand back, his free hand lifting from his other side to cover his mouth in an almost shy manner, hiding his smile. “Yeah, alright, you win. Still, it’s gonna be weird. I’ve never done this before. School, a social life, stuff like that. To be honest, I feel like it might be impossible for me,” he admits.

Ritsu hums; he knows the feeling, but he’d also been a part of that world before, had lived in it, and the routines he’d slipped back into had been familiar. For Shou, it would be all new. “I’ll teach you, then,” he says, even though he can’t really seem to imagine Shou in a classroom setting, listening obediently to teachers and turning in his homework on time. He offers Shou a smile, rare and sweet in his half-asleep state, and adds, “You and me against the world, right? Just like always.”

Shou snorts, turning his gaze skyward and lifting their joined hands up to hover between them. “Yeah, just like always,” he echoes, like a promise, and pulls Ritsu’s hand toward his face. He presses his lips against the scars on the back of his hand briefly, impulsively, and the motion sends a thrill up Ritsu’s spine and warms his neck and face. He sucks in a breath, surprised but not uncomfortable.

Ritsu has seen the direction they’ve been tentatively drifting in, has heard the unsaid words clear as day as though they’d been spoken aloud. There’s an unspoken sentiment in the air, one that he’s certain his friends have picked up on if the knowing looks and questions are to be believed. “Shou, do you like me?” he asks, as though it’s the easiest question in the world to ask, as though he doesn’t already know the answer.

He half expects Shou to brush off the question, to pass it off as more innocent than it really is, but instead Shou just stares at him, his mouth open in a quiet ‘o’ and his eyebrows raised so high they threaten to disappear into his hairline. Then he covers his face with one hand, his other still tightly gripping Ritsu’s, and makes a strangled sound somewhere between a laugh and a cough. “I didn’t think you’d just come right out and ask,” he manages, and his voice cracks, betraying his surprise. “I like you so much, Ritsu.”

Ritsu swallows, attempting to suppress the thundering of his heart in his chest as he stares up at the ceiling. “I like you, too,” he says, quietly, like he’s telling a secret, and the warmth of this quiet, private moment falls over him like a blanket, comfortable and safe.

“I’ve never liked anyone before,” Shou says, voice wavering a little in his uncertainty.

Ritsu hums. “Me neither,” he admits, because it’s true. “I don’t know what people who like each other do.”

For a moment, they lay in silence, their legs hanging off the edge of the bed, and then Shou turns onto his side, tucking his feet behind him. “Who says we have to be like everyone else? We should just do what we want to do,” he says.

And Ritsu can’t help but laugh, because Shou’s solutions are always simple, and they’re usually pretty good, too. Maybe, he thinks, he should try to have a little more faith in them. “You know what, you’re right,” he agrees with a grin. “We’ll just do things our way, the way we always have.” And the way we always will, he adds to himself, a promise to himself to make sure Shou sticks around.

They talk long into the night, telling stories of their month apart, their voices carefully quiet to avoid waking up the rest of the house. Ritsu fits his head against Shou’s shoulder, listens to him ramble on about whatever’s on his mind, and the peace of the moment quiets his mind and stills his heart. He doesn’t remember falling asleep, and he can’t bring himself to mind. That night, for the first time in days, he passes the night in a dreamless sleep, comforted by the presence of his best friend at his side.

[silviasutton1989]

T.T.K. Chapter 15 “Riot”

A/N: Hey guys so today IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! I feel old, happy, tired all at the same time. 

When I started this series I knew that I wanted to end it on my birthday...well that’s clearly not happening but we are moving along. Now I’m posting this quickly because I have to leave in a minute so if you see some issues my apologies in advance.

Word Count: 2300

Rating: M course language

Summary: Olivia talks with her aunt Liam and Riley try to date.

Catch Up: Chapter 1  1.2  2  3  4  5  6  7 8  9  9.2  9.25   10   11   12.1 12.2

       13  14

Olivia loved watching her mother get dressed for the many balls her parents attended. On those nights she would zoom through her bath and grooming routines, just to run into her mother's room to watch her pin her long red hair above her head in a perfect bun. She would watch the lines form on her face as she decided which pairs of jewelry to wear and which shoes went with the beautiful gown. 

Olivia climes into their bed and studies the two scurrying around the room. Even at 5 she noticed that something was different about her mother tonight. Her hands shook and she drops her perfume bottle.

"Shit."

"Ohh Momma you said a bad word..."

"Leave your mother alone Peppa." Olivia's father walks over giving his young daughter a kiss on the forehead. "You should be in bed."

"I just want to watch you drive off...so we can wave bye."

"Ok dear just this once." He smiles at her knowing full well he says this every time. "Prue, you ok?" He walks over to his wife whose trying to dab the perfume out of the carpet, and bends down to help her up. Her nerves are on end and he rubs her shoulders to sooth her. "Hey look at me."

The two lock eyes. Oliver takes a deep breath and his wife fallows suit. "We don't have to do this. We can call everyone and stop it. We can stay home...what ever you want I'm with you, my queen."

Olivia giggles hearing her father's pet name for her mother. The sound of her daughter's laughter gives her more strength than she ever had before. Straightening her shoulders and looks to her child then back to her husband. "No we will do this tonight. I'm going to give my daughter what belongs to her. And if it has come down to this ...then so be it. By the time she wakes up tomorrow she will have it all."

The couple kiss and Oliver quickly leaves the room giving his daughter a wink, "See you in the morning, Peppa."

"Not if I see you first, daddy."

Her mother kneels at the edge of the bed, looking at her daughter as if she held the world in her tiny hands. "What have I always told you, Peppa?"

"That I wear a crown even if I can't see it." Olivia says proudly sticking her chin out into the air, her bubbly smile filling her face.

"I don't want you to ever forget that ok. Never. In case something...if I don't make it back....just don't forget it please."

"I won't momma. I promise"

Persephone opens her mouth to say more but she stands to her feet. "Walk me out?"

"Yes!"

Olivia holds her mother's hand as they walk down the hallways of the mansion only letting go when they reach the front door. That night she dreamed about her mother and father dancing the night away at the ball, but instead of being Duke and Duchess they were King and Queen.

"Don’t you know who you are?” Lucretia spoke the words in a huff, Olivia wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement.

“I know I know. I am a Nevarkis. I kill first and take names later.” She states rolling her eyes.

“Yes you are a Nevarkis. But... Olivia, don’t you know you are so much more than that?” The range of expressions from Lucretia’s face went from curious to surprise to visible rage. “My god you don’t know do you? You honestly don't have a clue?” She shakes her head grabbing her things from the ground and marching away from her hut. The confused duchess follows behind. "All your answers just inches away and you were too busy having a crush to figure it all out for yourself!” She wasn’t really talking to her niece, but the words were for her, Olivia knew that much.

“Well maybe if you had actually been in my life I would have known more about my parents.”

“I had to protect myself! He would have killed me had I tried to take you….”

“Don’t try to use the King as an excuse Starchild. You didn’t want me! No one did! No one ever had. I was an afterthought for my parents. They just wanted the king dead some failed attempt for power and…and they deserved—“

She doesn’t get to finish the sentence as a slap to her face silences her. No one had ever dared to put a hand on her, before. She felt the tears well up in her eyes; they were already falling from her aunts. Lucretia sits in the grass taking her niece’s hand and forcing her down with her. The words she speak are in a whisper. As if they weren’t alone.

“Your mother deserved so much more than what she got. She...she would have been so great if it wasn't for ...love... There’s so much you don’t know. So much you should know. That I…” she wipes away the tears from her face.  “You are right. I could have been there for you. But… “

“Tell me then. Tell me about my mother.” Olivia’s green eyes meets her aunt's brown ones. “What is it that I don’t know?"

"How bout you stay with me. Spend a week here and prove that you're ready to know about her, about what she did and why...about who you truly are. We can stay in the billets for a week find you some clothes. You clearly need some time to reflect." Her aunt gives a smirk that reminds her of her own. Maybe her mother smiled like that too.

Riley's heart flutters as she takes in a breath. Her body rising into the air, exhaling a moan as she comes back down just to rise again even higher. Her moans become screams, the euphoric sensation tingling up her body as they fall back to earth then in seconds back up again into the heavens. She holds Liam's hand tight bracing herself as the thrills wave over both of them.

"Open your eyes...you're missing it!" She screams, Liam's eyes stay tightly shut, he tried his best to enjoy it and he loved the feeling of adrenaline rushing over him but only when he could control it.This he could not control, he could not stop it. He was only a passenger in the twist and turns of this ride not the leader or the king or even a man. Just a person in a hunk of metal being thrusted into the air before plummeting back to the ground.

The roller coaster ended sooner than Riley had liked she turns to Liam with a pout. "Let's go again!" As they get out of the cart.

"How about we find something more leisurely to ride on...Like bumper cars or something."He fidgets with his sunglasses, the disguise may help with the citizens not noticing the king but does little to hide how uncomfortable he is. "Or maybe we can go somewhere else if you are ready to go."

Riley gives him a hard look as they walk through the carnival. "You aren't having fun Liam?" She bit her lip to suppress her annoyance. It had been a week since Drake left and the two had barely spent any time alone together. "I just thought that with all the security meetings you've been having this week you would enjoy something fun for a change. Drake would have loved--" she bit her tongue the second his name slipped out. She saw Liam make that face again, the same face he made when she told them that they would not be having sex during her break with Drake, the same face he made when he told her about the anonymous threats he was receiving and her first reaction was to call Drake (he didn't answer), it was a look of hurt that he quickly hid with a smile.

"I'm sorry...I just meant..."

"Hey how about we get our fortune told" Liam points to a tent with a crystal ball above it. "How about we see what fate has in store for us?" He takes her hand and leads her into the tent.

"Welcome children I am Cleo would you like for me to tell you your future?"

The two take a seat, Riley beaming like a toddler. "I have never done one of these before. So are you gonna tell me how many kids I will have or when I die or if I will be in love forever?"

Cleo waves her hands around the ball. "I will tell you all you need to know my child. I know all. I see all."

"So my fiancee and I would like to know will we be together forever?" Riley winks to Liam waiting to see if she would take the bait. Her words make Liam look at Riley's hand the ring she refused to take off still there. All this was hopeless wasn't it?

"I see great success. Your children and children's children will prosper and flourish" Cleo stares hard into the crystal ball as Riley and Liam look to each other in surprise.

"Apparently we are having children, Riley" Liam whispers to her, a smile growing over his face.

"Shh... she's not finished"

"Though you will see much success you will experience hardship at every turn. Cling to your friends, they will be the source for your strength."

"Well that was lovely thank you." Liam stands to pay the old woman she grabs his hand tightly finally looking at him.

"The spirits are not done. Sit."

He immediately does. 

"You two search for love like a bird searching to fly. Look within for your answers. Daughter I see you with one and only one great love. A kindred soul who has waited calmly for you to return to him.  That love will only grow it will never falter. Squander it and you will never know love in its purest form again."

The words sends Riley back in her seat. 

"My son your great loves are long and plenty. You love many and many many more love you. I see sacrifices beyond measure in love for you. It is because of all of these great loves you cannot open to your kindred spirit...your greatest love. The spirits tell me that it is too cloudy to see into that world because of your doubts, but I see you with a partner who rivals you in every way. Who makes you stronger wiser and more powerful than you ever thought you could be. Though that world looks treacherous I see fulfillment and happiness and the success of a life. But..."

She stares into the ball Liam's knee begins to bounce as he sits on the edge of his seat.

"But what?"

"You will sacrifice much for this love. Your name, your power of position, even you life itself will be jeopardized for her. And...you will kill for her. One will be justifiable but one... it will be one of the strongest bonds, the greatest loves you have ever had."

The words of the teller play over and over in Liam's mind. He would have to kill someone ...no 2 people for Riley...but who? Drake? Not Drake he would never kill ....

the greatest love you ever had. 

A voice in the background of his thoughts brought him back to focus.

"Liam did you hear a word I said?" Riley fusses.

"I'm sorry a bit in my own world there."

"Do you want to go on the Ferris Wheel?"

"Um.. yeah sure--I oh I'm sorry." Liam was too consumed in his thought to notice the man he knocked over. He reaches down to help him up but the man doesn't take his hand.

"Do you think those sunglasses are fooling anyone?" The man sneers as he stands to is feet, His words are so  loud the bring attention to everyone around them. "Our crops are gone. We are loosing our jobs from floods and fires. And here is our leader with his American mistress spending our tax moneys to ride the Tilt A World."

"Sir, you have me confused with someone else...I'm not..." Liam tried to remain calm but a crowd began to form around them murmurs of accusations began to quickly grow to full loud protests.

"Lovely dress you have there girly who did you have to do to get it?" A protester states pushing Riley into another person.

"Look at this gem." the man Riley falls onto holds the pearl necklace around her neck in his hand. "this could feed us for at least a month don't you think?" He snatches it off of her pushing her back into Liam.

"People, I see that you are upset, but we mustn't act out of anger we must--"

The sound of gunshots ring out as the crowd scatters. The once peaceful carnival now filled with the chaotic sounds of mothers screaming for their crying children.

Riley stands still, the mayhem around her is petrifying. She feels someone lift her into his arms, carrying her through the crowd. It wasn't until they made it into the limo that she realized the man was Liam.

"Drive now!" he orders as the car begins to accelerate. He looks to the shaken Riley cupping her check in his hand. "You are ok we are safe now."

With shaken hands grabs his shoulders, their lips a breath away from each other. "You saved me Liam...you saved me." She closes the space between him letting her fear dissolve through the kiss.

Tag List:  If you want to be on the tag list permanently (this one is randomly selected with some permanent in as well)  let me know. If you DO NOT want to be tagged ever just send me a message I will not be upset.

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[baronessblixen]

Not sure if this is the kind of prompt you'd like, but I trust your fluffy genius! Sooo... my prompt is that their now 8 year old daughter comes home from school upset one day. Turns out the other kids in class were making fun of her because her dad is "old". How would 64 year old Mulder handle that one? ;)

Sorry it took me so long! It was extremely hard to write and I’m not sure how it turned out. I hope you like it anyway. Earlier today @frangipanidownunder tackled the same prompt. Everyone go read that one as well! Tagging at @today-in-fic

An angry thumpannounces her arrival. The backpack bangs against the wall and Mulder is up inan instant – she knows she's not supposed to throw it, or anything else, insidethe house. They had to state that rule, as well as every other one, veryspecifically. Because the youngest Mulder knows her way around the rules.

"KatherineMargaret Mulder, you know that-" The full name treatment is what Scullyusually does. Mulder, they all know it, is more or less useless in serioussituations. The girl, just about to storm off, stops and stares at him. She hasher arms crossed and looks like a tiny version of her mother. Except for thedarker, longer hair and his own stubborn chin.

"I have myreasons!" She yells and stomps off into the living room where she plopsdown on the couch. Mulder follows her, quietly amused. Scully tells him thatshe's all him, going off at every chance and at the slightest inconvenience. Ifshe's like this at eight years, what are they in for once she becomes ateenager? He chuckles; he can't wait to find out.

"Care to tell mewhat happened, peanut?" Mulder sits across from her in one of thearmchairs they bought a few years ago. Jackson pointedly called them 'oldpeople furniture' when he first saw them. That earned him an eyebrow from hismother, but the children still jokingly call them that.

"Daddy, are youold?" Mulder is glad he's sitting down. That's one question he didn'texpect. But their daughter is not one to beat around the bush. She talks a lot,always has, and speaks her mind. Always. Another thing Scully tells him shegets from him.

"Am I old?"He asks just to make sure he's understood her right. Katie nods.  

"The kids atschool say you are. They say you and mommy are old. Like grandparents old. Whatdoes that mean, dad?" He's feared this conversation for years and he'shoped he still had more time. Katie stares at him with her curious eyes. She,unlike him, is not worried; she just wants to understand. A few years backwhile at the store, another mother referred to him as Katie's grandfather. Whenhe corrected her, both of them blushing, he felt old. Never in his life had hefelt as old as that moment. It passed, was forgotten when Katie, still atoddler then, giggled and squealed. But every once in a while, when someonelooks funny at him, when they pause and swallow hard once they find out who heand Scully are, how old they are, he remembers.

In the early days ofthe pregnancy when uncertainty and fear ruled their days and nights, he andScully imagined moments like this one. All the what if's. What if somethinggoes wrong? What if we're too old to do this? What if we can't keep up with ourchild? What if one of us… even now, years later, Mulder doesn't want to thinkabout it. There was another what if, one he doesn't want to think of now as helooks at his daughter. What if we're not going to have the baby? They spokeabout it exactly once. It was a Sunday, sunny and friendly. Scully was sick, sovery sick with morning sickness, and he uttered the words as he rubbed herback. What if, Scully. They looked at each other then, tears and doubts sharedwithout a single word spoken, knowing that it wasn't a possibility, not really,not for them. No matter what the circumstances.    

"Daaaad."Katie's eyes grow big and impatient; she doesn't have the time. She can't wait.Not for dinner, not for her birthday and most of all not for an explanationfrom her old man. There's that word again: old.

"It'scomplicated, Katie." She groans and throws herself against the couchcushion. "It really is." Mulder tells her and puts a hand on herknee. Try again, her eyes seem to say to him, not good enough.

"You do know howold your mother and I are, right?" Katie thinks about it for a moment andhe is certain can see her count in her head, then nods. "Do you know howold Josh's parents are?" The boy is her best friend and Mulder knows thathis parents could almost be his children. Almost. Katie shakes her head."What do you think? Are they as old as I am?" He holds his breath,waiting. Katie furrows her brows, stares him up and down, examines him.

"I don't know. Josh'smom is home a lot like you, but that's because of the baby. Josh's dad is badat baseball and soccer." Mulder suppresses a grin; this is not the momentto make fun. "Is he older than you are, dad?" Katie's question isgenuine, but for the first time he sees the spark of something else in hereyes. Uncertainty, he thinks. He wishes Scully were here. He might be good atbaseball and soccer, but right now he feels useless. He's 64 years old. He cando this.

"No, honey. I'molder than him." Much older, he thinks, but doesn't say it. Confusionwashes over Katie's face and she stares at him, still waiting. As the pregnancyprogressed, Scully would remind him to take it one day at a time because theydidn't know what might happen tomorrow. But with each passing day, Mulder beganto feel more and more thankful. It was a second chance. He watched Scully'sstomach grow and he recorded every little change. He was there for everydoctor's appointment, held her hand through the first sonogram, through thefirst test results – everything. This time he was there for it all. A bittersweetsensation knowing what he'd missed the first time. When Jackson came back intotheir lives Scully was four months pregnant. One night Mulder found their sonin the living room browsing through a baby catalogue. He looked up sheepishlyand Mulder sat next to him, neither of them saying a word for the longest time.'It's too late to buy a crib for you, but there's a bed for you here always. Welove you, Jackson, and you're part of this family.' That was that. In the end,it was a second chance for all of them.

"So you are old?"Katie reminds him not to get lost in his thoughts and memories, but to be herein the now. He nods. He wishes he wasn't. Oh, how he wishes Katie had comealong ten years earlier. Mulder still dreams that Jackson grew up with them,free from pain and terror, and that Katie was born a few years after herbrother. A picture perfect family. He wakes up from that dream, always. Theirlife, their real life, is good; of course it is. He wouldn't trade it foranything in the world, now. He and Scully are, against all odds, healthy. Shemakes him have regular check-ups and if he's reluctant every once in a while,she just gives him a look. She's right. They have plans in check, financial andotherwise. If anything were to happen to them, Jackson would get custody. Allthese things loom above them just like heart attacks, arthritis, dementia. Hedoesn't want to think about it, wants to just live. For Katie's sake he has tothink about all of it. They've been lucky until now. So very, very lucky.

"Does that meanyou can't play baseball with me anymore?" Katie's voice breaks, soundsimpossibly young. Mulder engulfs her in his arms, holds her as tightly as hecan. She sobs into his shoulder and he rubs her back soothingly.

"Don't worry aboutthings like that, Katie. We just played baseball this weekend, didn't we?"She nods against him and wipes her nose on his shirt. "See? I'm not tooold to play." But he remembers falling asleep watching a movie that night.When it happens to Scully, even after all these years, he just smiles. She'sbeen falling on asleep on him for 30 years. He's used to it. His own exhaustion,the little aches and pains, are newer to him, but even they feel familiar now.There will come a day when lifting a bat will cause too much pain. When histhrowing arm will give in. He just hopes that it happens once Katie is grownand no longer interested in playing. He knows he will do everything in hispower to make it so.

"As long as youcan play baseball, dad," Katie wipes her nose again before she looks athim, "you're not too old. I'll tell everyone tomorrow. They got it allwrong." She assures him and he smiles, thanks her with a kiss on her cheek.It should be him taking the fear off her mind, not the other way around. Mulderopens his mouth, ready to say more, when the front door opens. Katie jumps up,accidently kicks his shin, and runs towards her mother.

"Mommy!"Mulder hears as he rubs his throbbing shin. "Daddy and I were just talkingabout how old you two are." He chuckles from his place on the couch. Amoment later, Scully's head pops around the corner and Mulder forgets time andspace looking at her. No matter his age, no matter her age, this has neverchanged; it never will. Right now he doesn't feel like he's 64 – and shedoesn't look like she's 61, ever. When he's with Scully, he doesn't feel old. Helooks at her and sees his whole life.

"Are you allright?" Scully asks him, amusement swinging in her voice. He nods.

"Katie kicked myshin by accident. I will be fine."

"Oh, I was soworried for a moment." Scully says and walks over to him. She leans downto him and kisses his lips softly. "What was that talk all about?"Her voice is softer now, quiet. Katie is in the hall, talking to herself,mumbling about homework. Mulder loves listening to her, but Scully's gaze isinsistent.

"She asked me ifI was old. I tried to explain, but… you know." She nods, seems tounderstand.

"We knew thatmight be an issue one day."

"I thought oneday would be much later. Or never."

"You always wantto believe." He receives another smile, another soft kiss. "How didshe take it?" Before he can answer, Katie strolls back in. She's grinningfrom ear to ear and crawls into Mulder's lap.

"Mommy, guesswhat! Daddy is not too old to play baseball!" She exclaims in a bubblyvoice. Scully gives him a serene look; maybe he hasn't completely screwed this up.She smiles at her daughter, tries to tame a strand of stubborn hair by tuckingit behind her ear.

"That's the mostimportant thing, isn't it?" Mulder decides that it really is, in the end.  

[3wishesandthensome]

Flash Episode Idea (w/ the twins)

Okay, so last night after the episode with “Dawn”, I started thinking about how most likely next season WestAllen will be parents. Iris is either gonna find out she’s pregnant towards or at the end of this season. There have been too many hints to suggest otherwise. So, with that in mind, I figured they’re probably gonna skip over the pregnancy (since we already have a Cecile pregnancy; seems kind of repetitive to do another one, although I hope we get at least a few episodes of pregnant WestAllen it’d be extremely cute) and next season the kids will be either toddlers or children. I thought maybe if they did a couple years time jump the kids would be toddlers or full grown children, if they rationalize that the kids maybe grow at an exceptional rate because of their speed abilities (kind of like Renesmee from Twilight). But anyways, I was trying to fall asleep last night and I couldn’t stop thinking about WestAllen trying to parent two little speedsters so I kind of came up with my own episode. I’m not a fanfiction writer so I kind of just saw the episode in my head and I’m just going to describe it out to you guys (with some dialogue). I personally think it could actually be an episode in the future!

This is going to be very long so keep scrolling if you don’t want to read! Btw, in this scenario, there’s really only been a time jump of about 3 years but the twins are physically and mentally the age of around 8 or 9 (I know this wouldn’t really happen, but for the sake of the idea, it only really worked if they were this old). Also, they usually refer to Dawn as Nora since her name (I think we’re all assuming) is Nora Dawn, but still sometimes call her Dawn or Dawny.

Enjoy!

So the episode starts out with the twins running around the house at lightning speed, even though they know they shouldn’t be. Barry comes down and wrangles them up, because both he and Iris know telling them to stop won’t do much.

“I’ll take Don,” Iris says, bags under her eyes, indicating the amount of sleep, or lack-thereof, she got last night due to the twins incessant running around.

“Why do you get the easy child?” Barry groans. He hadn’t gotten much sleep either. Actually he’d probably gotten less since he was the only one who could catch them.

“Because I pushed both these kids out of my -”

“Yes, okay, fair point. I’ll get Nora.”

“Thank you,” Iris says with Don already in her arms. He was the less problematic one. He always listened to his parents, unless Dawn told him not, then all bets were off. He followed his twin sister wherever she went and did whatever she did. This didn’t always lead to great results.

Iris left to drop Don off at school while Barry sat down with Dawn and tried to explain to her the importance of only using her powers when absolutely necessary. They go back and forth for a while but she eventually concedes and he gets her to school on time.

The episode goes on and they fight their weekly villain with the usual hurdles. The first fight goes wrong and the villain gets away. Team Flash regroups at Star Labs and goes over how to stop them. As they are deliberating the twins speed in from school to everyone’s surprise.

“Beat ya!” Dawn exclaims.

“Nuh-uh! I was through the doors first. I didn’t know you meant whoever was in the lab first wins, so I stopped running downstairs.”

“Not my fault you don’t get how racing works.”

“What are you two doing here?” Iris interrupts, clearly upset. She tried not to let it show how worried she got for her kids about their powers but sometimes she couldn’t help it. The city doesn’t know the Flash has kids. If their powers were ever discovered, it would only be a matter of time before people started putting two and two together to figure out who they were and that would eventually lead to the Flash’s identity being revealed.

Barry stood with his arms crossed in front of his kids waiting for an explanation, Iris behind the dashboard with the same body posture, while Harry, Caitlin, and Cisco, slowly exit the room, knowing the storm that’s about to be brought towards the young children.

“I wanted to prove to Don that I’m faster since I’m older.”

“By one minute!” Don quickly pointed out. Both Iris and Barry rolled their eyes.

“Still! I won so I’m right.” She shrugged and walked off with Don to the training room to start her homework, as they usually do after school.

Both Barry and Iris have their heads in their hands at this point, not knowing what to do about their persistent and stubborn children.

“Bare, we have to do something about this. If they don’t quit using their powers, something is going to happen to them. I won’t be able to live with myself if something happens to our babies.”

“I know. I know.” Barry slowly walks towards Iris and wraps his arms around his lightening rod. While in an embrace, he adds, “I didn’t get my powers until I was an adult. I could be trained and I had enough sense to know the responsibility that came with these abilities. They’re just kids. They don’t get it. I can’t imagine what how they feel. I mean even without powers kids just want to run around and have fun. It’s kind of like that but 100 times worse.”

Iris leans back to look him in the eyes and smiles. “Lucky us, huh?”

He returns her smile. “Yeah, lucky us.”

The next day, Barry goes to Harry with a favor. He asks him to build two small power inhibitors to suppress the twins’ powers, but subtle enough so they won’t know they have it on. Harry builds one into a bracelet for Don and another into a headband for Dawn. Barry takes the twins to Star Labs before school.

“Guys, I got you two some cool presents. I thought you could wear them to school.” Barry pulls out the new accessories for his kids. Iris watches lovingly, not knowing the gifts’ true intentions.

“Cool!” Don exclaims as his dad puts on his new bracelet.

“Cute.” Dawn says, a little less enthusiastically but still happy to have something from her dad that she oh so admired.

“Do you like them?” He asked his kids as he knelt down to their level.

“Yes!” They both said. Barry smiled so wide, knowing he made both him and his kids happy, for different reasons. “Good! Now, I’m giving these to you on the promise that you won’t use your powers for anything but absolute emergencies, okay? That means no racing, no speeding through your schoolwork, and no running home after school. Got it?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Alright, Mommy is going to drop you off at school and I’m going to pick you up later. Love you guys. Give me a kiss.”

They both gave him a kiss on the opposite cheek and skipped off with their mom who was waiting for them by the door. Dawn looked back at her dad one last time before he was out of sight. Barry gave her an affectionate wink. Barry didn’t have a favorite child, of course. He loved his kids both to the moon an back equally. But he and Dawn had a special connection. She was just like him; not as he was as a child, but as he is now. She was always itching to help someone and oh so stubborn when it came to someone telling her not to do something. He admired her for her bravery just as she admired him for simply being her dad.

The episode goes on with Team Flash dealing with the uncaught villain and side storylines with Caitlin, Harry, Cisco, and Joe. At the end of the school day Barry goes to pick up the twins (it’s become a running gag in the show that Barry and this other carpool dad always get into it because they always end up blocking each other when picking up their respective kids). So while they’re getting into another argument, Dawn is walking out of school, with Don close behind her. There is another kid in front of them bouncing a ball carelessly. As the twins are walking towards their dad (who is still arguing with the other parent) the child with the ball loses control of the ball and goes out into the street to retrieve it, without looking to see if there are cars coming. Dawn, being the innate hero that she is, runs to push the child out of the way of an oncoming car because she knows she’ll be fast enough to save the kid without getting hurt. She runs to push the kid out of the street, and she does, but now she’s in the middle of the street, helpless without her speed working, and a car approaching quickly. A few parents scream, not knowing what to do, which draws Barry’s attention. He sees his little girl seconds away from being critically injured.

“NORA!” He screams and runs as fast as he possibly can to get her. He grabs her just in time. He cradles her tightly her on the sidewalk, not letting go even for a second, knowing he almost lost his baby, and it was his fault.

Back at Star Labs, Caitlin is caring for Dawn in the medical lab, just to make sure she’s not too traumatized from almost being hit by a car. She tucks her in while Don cuddles her from behind, making sure his sister is okay.

“How is she?” Iris asks anxiously, rising from her chair.

“She’s still a little shaken, but she’ll be alright. Don is comforting her. Two peas in a pod those two.” Caitlin says admirably.

“Can we go in and talk to her?” Barry asks. His head hangs down like it usually does when he’s upset or saddened by something.

Caitlin hesitates before speaking, knowing they’re not going to like her answer. 

“It’d be a good idea to give her some space. I think she’s a bit embarrassed.”

“What could she possibly be embarrassed about?” Iris asks, wanting nothing more than to just hold her daughter and tell her it’s all going to be okay.

“She said her dad is the Flash, a hero that saves people every day. And she wasn’t able to save this one kid. She just really wants to make you proud.” With that, Caitlin walked off, unknowingly making Barry feel like the worst father in the world.

Iris sighs and looks on her children through the glass. “I’m just so glad she’s okay. She could’ve been seriously hurt. You saved her. Why do you look so defeated?” She asked her husband.

Barry can’t look her in the eyes. “Bare?” She asks again.

“Iris, I... I messed up.”

“Barry, what happened?”

He sighs, then let’s it all go. “You know the bracelet and headband I gave them this morning?” She nods. “They had power inhibitors in them to suppress the kids’ powers. I didn’t want them being reckless and I knew they weren’t going to wear them if they knew what they were. Iris, I’m so sorry I thought I was helping.”

“Barry, Dawn was almost killed today! What were you thinking?”

“I know, I know, and I wish I could take it all back! I thought this would protect them. All I’m trying to do is protect them!”

Iris backs away from Barry. She knows he meant well, but she also knows they were supposed to be a team, as partners and parents. He should’ve told her what he was doing. But he didn’t and now that’s all weighing on him.

“Iris, please, listen to me. I’m so sorry. I know you’re mad, but listen. The inhibitors were supposed to just keep them from using their powers until we could teach them the importance of -”

“Barry.” Iris interrupts, not looking at him, but behind him.

“I just wanted to protect -”

“Barry, stop.” She says, with a finality to her tone. He follows her gaze to their children who left the medical room and entered the main lab with their parents moments ago, just in time to hear what their dad had done.

“How could you do that to us?” Dawn says, anger radiating out of her. Both Barry and Iris had never seen her so mad. Hell, they’d never seen an 8 year old this mad ever. Don hovered behind his sister, clearly upset and hurt, but not as vocal about it. He had always been that way. It reminded Barry of how Barry and Iris used to be as kids. With her taking the lead and him always following her. Maybe that’s why Barry had such as strong connection with Dawn. Maybe it wasn’t that she reminded him of himself, but of Iris.

“Guys, I was trying to protect you -” Barry tried to muster up some fatherly strength, to not seem weak in front of his kids, but he’s defeated. He feels so guilty about what happened  - or almost happened - to his kid. He can’t forgive himself.

“You’re always saying that, but all you do is lie! You tell us not to use speed unless it’s an emergency, but you use your speed to do whatever you want! You use it to do dishes, to get to work, to cook dinner, even to get us to school! You tell us to be honest with you but you lied to us and almost got us hurt! You’re supposed to be a hero. Heroes don’t lie.” With that, Dawn threw her headband on the ground with such force, Iris actually gasped. Then she sped off.

“Dawn!” Iris yelled after her, but she was long gone by then. She quickly turns to her husband. “Barry you have to go after her. Who knows what kind of trouble she could get into.”

“On it.” He says without hesitation. But he’s back within the minute without his daughter in tow. “I checked the house, the school, Joe’s, Harry’s, Cisco’s, and Caitlin’s houses. She’s not there.” They both turn to their son. “Don, do you have any idea where your sister would go? You know her better than anyone.”

They look at Don expectantly, but to no avail. He shakes his head sadly, not knowing what to do. Iris pulls him in for a tight hug, wishing she could do the same for her other child, but at least she can make one of them feel better.

Team Flash stays at Star Labs for the rest of the night searching for Dawn, but nothing is helping. Barry is normally tracked by his suit, and neither of the twins were wearing the one Cisco had made for them to wear for training. Wherever she was she was being still because there was no indication of a speedster showing up on the radars.

It’s very late at this point but the team is still at it. Iris and Barry are trying to stay calm for their son’s sake but they are both freaking out on the inside. All of sudden, the monitor in the lab pops up with this week’s villain. He turns the camera to Dawn, who is tied up to a chair with rope and her mouth is duct taped shut. Iris immediately gasps and starts crying at the sight of her baby being held captive. The villain tells them if the Flash does not come he will kill the child (A/N: in my head he was basically threatening to burn her with acid like the trickster episode so obviously that wouldn’t be reused but since this is a fake ass episode I’m going to use it lol). The villain isn’t aware Dawn is the Flash’s kid but he knows he wouldn’t let an innocent child suffer. He starts the timer at 15 minutes. After it runs out, the acid will consume her.

Iris covers Don’s ears, not wanting her son to hear the horrible things this man plans to do with his sister. Cisco takes Don out of the room while Iris loses it and runs out into the hallway, almost to the point of hyperventilating. Barry goes out to comfort her. He tells her he’s going to bring her back. He won’t let anything happen to her. He promises.

He goes back into the main lab and puts on his suit. Cisco advises him not to go just yet, seeing as how they don’t have anything to combat the acid and Barry will most likely get hurt.

“I don’t care! That’s my daughter and I’m not going to let anything happen to her!” He screams with determination.

Harry says, “Barry, it doesn’t do us any good to send you in and you get killed. Nora will still get hurt and Iris loses her husband and her child. We have to come up with a plan.”

“He’s right.” Iris says with tears still in her eyes. “We have to have a plan in order to save her.”

They come up with a plan (one I cannot be bothered to actually think of) and they head out. Before they do, Iris looks at Barry. “Barry?”

“Yeah?”

“Bring our baby home.”

He nods with certainty. “I will.”

At the warehouse that Caitlin and Iris triangulated the signal to be coming from, Barry, Cisco and KF show up to get their youngest member. The clock only has 5 minutes left on in. The villain takes the tape off of Dawn’s mouth so she can plea.

“Help me daddy! Please!” She cries.

The villain looks shocked. “Well, well, well. I had no idea the Flash had procreated.” He smiles sinisterly. “This must be so hard for you.”

“Let her go!” Barry says, his voice not wavering. He’s trying to stay strong for his frightened daughter. “This has nothing to do with her. This is between me and you.”

“Not anymore. Tick tock, Flash. Tick tock.”

The 3 superheroes fight the villain but they are each quickly defeated. Barry feels helpless as his little girl looks to her dad with desperate eyes, screaming his name every time he’s injured.

The clock is down to 2 minutes. Barry, on the ground and feeling hopeless, pleas with the villain. “Please… just let me talk to her. I need to say something to her before… before she…”

The villain sighs. “Ugh…I suppose. Better make it quick. 1 minute left.”

Barry is on the ground, so injured he can barely move. But he manages to muster up enough strength to look at his daughter, straight in the eyes. “Dawn, listen to me. Are you listening?”

She lets out a sob, but she nods. “Yes, daddy, I’m listening.”

Her little voice, sounding so scared, breaks Barry even more than he already was. But he knows he has to tell her. “Remember last year for your birthday party? All the kids had already left and mommy was putting Don to sleep?” Dawn nods. “And it was just me and you? You had had so much cake you were practically bouncing off the walls. And we started to dance,” Barry starts smiling at the memory, despite the current circumstances. “We danced so much and we were having so much fun. And you, Dawny, you started to shake so fast, and you had no idea how you were doing it. Remember that?”

Dawn nods, making sure to keep eye contact with her father, sensing something about to happen.

He looks her right in the eye, and says, “Do that again.”

Barry musters up all the strength he has left to leap at the villain, catching him off guard and tacking him to the ground. Dawn vibrates as fast as she can and the rope breaks off from her. The timer goes off just as Dawn is free. Barry runs to pull her from under the acid just as it starts to come down while KF has regained consciousness and freezes the acid before it can touch anything. Barry holds his girl in his arms so tight, she can barely breathe. But Dawn doesn’t mind. She’s so happy to be in her father’s arms again.

The episode ends with the WestAllen crew at the loft a few nights later. They’re watching a show they all hate except Dawn, who picked it. And since she had two near death experiences that week, she was allowed to pick the nightly entertainment.

Once it was over, Iris announces, “Okay kids, time for bed. I want those teeth brushed and polished by the time we come up and tuck you in.”

“My teeth are always polished. See?” Don opens his mouth as wide as it can go and shoves his mother’s nose in his mouth so she can smell his stinky breath.

Iris pulls back, laughing. “Gross!” As he runs upstairs she slaps him on the butt and he laughs.

Dawn pulls out a folded up piece of paper from her pocket and hands it to Barry. He looks puzzled but she doesn’t indicate what it is. She kisses both her parents before running after her brother.

“What is it?” Iris asks curiously, leaning closer to Barry on their couch.

“Not sure. Let’s see.” He opens it up for both of them to see. It’s an assignment they had to do at school that day. The assignment was to talk about your favorite superhero. Barry reads it out loud for them both. “’My favorite superhero is my dad. His power is being the best dad ever. He’s my favorite because he’s always there for me. Even when I don’t listen, he’s always there to catch me when I fall. He’s the best dad ever.’”

Iris didn’t realize but there were tears in her eyes. Barry wiped them away when he saw and kissed her on the forehead. It made him feel great to know that even though her dad was a literal superhero, she still saw him, Barry Allen, as her hero.

“Lucky us, huh?” Barry said with a smile.

“Yeah, lucky us.” Iris reciprocated. The two shared a tender kiss, and then went upstairs to put their kids to sleep.

So that’s it! In my head that’s basically how the dialogue went. I had a lot of fun writing this. I’m not by any means a fanfiction writer so that’s why is was very clunky. On top of that I wasn’t really trying to make it a story like on fanfiction, just a description of what I saw in my head. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! I hope we get something like this down the line. I can’t wait to see WestAllen as parents!

[strawberrymarshmallowstories]

Oneshot | Coffee Cups and Little Scribbles

Title: Coffee Cups and Little Scribbles

Pairing: Hoseok/Reader

Word Count: a tad bit over 3K <3

Rating: SFW guys, it’s all safe!

Summary:  You never knew a simple message on a coffee cup could change your Christmas.

MASTERLIST

´

~

  2 weeks to go until Christmas. You thought just as you popped a small gingerbread man on top of a latte. Gingerbread lattes had become a weakness of yours, a secret indulgence when the frost pinched your cheeks, and with quiet concern you saw the manager go around the cupboards, trying to find some more biscuits. You were not going to confess how many you'd had.

 Working in a coffee shop was far from where you wished to be during holidays, but you needed to pay your bills. They were more than happy to be flexible around your schedule and who said no to extra money, free coffee and work that required auto-pilot more than complex problem solving skills.

 Bingo.

 Well, sometimes the coffee machine did stop working, and that did require some brain-power.

 'Is that the best you can do?' You heard a voice that had taken you a month to get used to - it was bright and bubbly, but with a twist of sugar-rush on the top. Demanding your attention, you knew she would never go unheard.

 You ignored her, managing on a smile that came easier than you thought, and handed the coffee over to a customer whose smile was enough of a thanks, and you wished her a wonderful day.

 Homely and cosy. This was the theme for the coffee shop, with its variety of armchairs and small round tables that breathed a little history in the place.

 'I already got like, enough tips to cover my shift for 2 hours.’

 Your co-worker Nicole was otherwise lovely, but way too competitive. And sometimes her gossip streak got the best of her. Over time she had must've got the hint that you just did not care and her stories were spared on ears that would respond in a way that she wished.

 You definitely did not need to know about anyone's intimate lives or who did what and where.

 Although, the where was sometimes rather interesting.

 'Is that-' She abruptly said as her body went still, and despite the early morning, your head snapped towards the door.

 And indeed there he was.

 Everyone called him the Americano guy, as no one had yet the nerve to ask for his name. Reddish hair that changed its colour more often than seasons (according to basically everyone), cheekbones and jaw sharp lines that would make many men envious, shoulders just wide enough to make you yearn for a pair of strong arms around you. He was a beautiful man, his steps light and smooth-

 And he had the most beautiful smile you had ever seen.

 'Good morning!' You heard Nicole chirp as she rushed to the till, her hands still adjusting her apron that was on the verge of falling off her hips. As always - that girl did not know how to tie properly.

 He smiled and luckily enough for you his focus was on her. Luckily, because you had a stupid smile tugging at your lips.

 'Hello Nicole,' he said without glancing at her name tag, voice just a tad bit lower than you had expected. 'Can I have an Americano please? I'll have it here.'

 'Of course! It will be my pleasure!' She chirped again and you dragged your eyes away just in time before the beautiful stranger caught yours. 

 He must've thought you were new, and you weren't surprised as during the term you were on evening duty, way after your lectures and workshops into late hours. But stories of this man had still reached you through different sources, and you had always wondered who was the cause of all the buzz. Especially if even your quiet but strict manager joined in with words of admiration.

 By instinct your hands prepared the coffee while your mind lingered somewhere in-between. After locking it into place, you let it drip while you prepared the saucer and a small spoon - and thanked yourself for polishing some teaspoons as no one else seemed to understand the importance. Little things, as they would say.

 Same words, only from a different perspective.

 Your back facing the commotion, his voice still managed to cut through your seemingly occupied thoughts. His tone of silk contrasted against Nicole's high-pitched squeal and the difference was strange but beautiful. With a voice like his, he was a blessing on the listening ears.

 It was like a soft caress over your senses.

 And for once you wished the Christmas playlist to stop. For the first time ever it was a little too loud.

 'Here you go,' you said, your voice a little higher than usual - which was probably as much of a surprise to you than to Nicole whose quick glance at you meant she had noticed.

 She didn't need to look surprised, you were surprised enough.

 You knew exactly what it was that had charmed her and most possibly had made many women throw themselves at his feet. The small dimples in his cheeks were something magical as they did weird things to your stomach whenever they appeared.

 And then his eyes fell on you. Those extraordinary eyes, so clear and soft, pinning you on the spot.

 Your knees almost buckled.

 You couldn't look away, as if in a trance.

 'Thank you,' he said with a flicker in his eyes, smile untouched, 'Have a nice day, you two. Don't get caught in the snowstorm!'

 'We will, so please come and save us!' Nicole chirped from beside you, her body angled in obvious invitation. For the first time ever her words did not steal your attention and you could not blame yourself - you eyes were stuck on his back, wondering exactly how a single person could make the whole cafe buzz from excitement.

 Not that you didn't know it already. It wasn't that he was just handsome and charming - he exuded sincerity, quiet confidence, and literally felt like a ray of sunshine from the moment he stepped in.

 It was his whole presence, it was who he was.

 He laughed and took a seat in the corner at the front, and fell into his own world of what you presumed was work, completely oblivious to the giggles that erupted next to you. And completely oblivious to the glances from nearby tables.

 Soon enough people would start gathering.

 'Oh my god, I found out his name!' She low-key squealed and you had to slap her arm to keep it down, not bothering to hide your own smile. You weren't sure if it was him, or was Nicole's excitement brushing off on you.

 The light from the street outlined his figure, his hair even redder than the dark strands you thought these had been before.

 And then it got busy.

 Unfortunately you didn't see him leaving.

 ~

  12 days to go until Christmas. You thought and a week had never felt longer. Yes, you had agreed to do some extra hours as your uni was on a break, but you kind of missed even the most boring professor whose lecture recordings were like a saviour during sleepless nights.

 By now you knew how to keep yourself awake, and the key was the free coffee that was now an integral part of your daily life.

 With an invisible sigh and a smile on your lips, you served another caramel latte with extra caramel syrup to a young mother that really needed a pick-me-up. All while her toddlers' sole mission was to try to run around the counter. The mother apologised, the toddler only frowned, but clearly understanding what a no meant.

 Even if he didn't like it.

 That done, you took a breather as the morning rush was finally over. You were on a shift with Nicole and Stefan for the day and you were quite happy with it. Stefan, the seemingly nerdy but in reality such a smooth flirt, was a guy with few words but who was incredibly enthusiastic about coffee - which was good for him, and for you as well.

 Good because his knowledge was bound to brush off on you, helping you to create connections with both regulars and new discoverers of coffee. The key was confidence and knowledge.

 'How's the Christmas blend?' You jolted from surprise, heart pounding against your ribcage. You had not heard the door open, which on quiet mornings was like nails across the chalkboard.

 But that was not important.

 'Uhm- it's- it's quite nice-,' You stuttered from surprise, your lips and vocal chords not quite catching up. And you could not stop yourself in time as you fell into what used to be a part of your life.

 Panic settled in, growing stronger by the millisecond and just barely you caught the end of it. You suppressed an urge to run, to escape, to hide. Anxiety had never hit you this hard and had always been a silent reminder of what you had used to feel.

 This was all behind you now. You took a deep breath in.

 If he noticed, he made no note of it. 'I'll try that one, but can I have it takeaway?' His hand moved, and your eyes couldn't help but follow the way he loosened the scarf around his neck. His unhurried movements calmed you.

 'It's quite warm in here, isn't it,' he said. You nodded and took the payment.

 'Sorry, it's early and I haven't had a cup of coffee yet,' you voiced, adding in a small laugh when the silence felt too much. 

 Not even the Christmas carols could fill in the gap.

 'That's alright, I believe you,' Hoseok smiled a little wider as he tapped his card against the machine.

 'It really is nice though,' you said when you trusted your body once again, 'it's similar to our regular brew, but smoother with hints of Christmas spices. It's like a festive take on our traditional coffee which has everyone going for seconds.'

 You saw him nod and took this as a cue to start preparing the coffee. With your back turned to him you released a slow breath you had not noticed you had been holding. Nicole had finished with a customer, and she was eyeing you from the corner of her eye. Obviously trying to find a spot when to pipe in - and you could've actually used some help.

 Not that you would ever admit to it.

 'It would be nice to try it,' he said and just as you were about to respond with something you couldn't recall, you heard a phone go off.

 He stepped away and his words turned into a soft mumble, drowned out by the noise of the cafe. Before you knew it, Nicole was already next to you.

 'You have to write something on the cup!' She said, her eyes full of such joy that for a second you forgot she was your age. You could probably take her excitement and turn it into glitter, but what scared you was a marker in her hands.

 You had to admit her persistence was admirable.

 'I will not,' you flat-out refused, appalled at her suggestion, 'Who does that anyway?'

 Nicole raised one of her eyebrows and continued with a furious whisper, 'I do, and it works! Otherwise I'll do it!'

 You twisted away from her, further away from her reach. No way you were going to risk with Hoseok never placing his foot in this cafe ever again.

  But how come seconds later it was still in your hands? And to your dismay, there was black writing on the cup staring back at you, which had turned out quite nice considering the rush.

  Have a fab day! :)

  Hoseok did not seem to notice it as he thanked you for the coffee and took off. Although you did have to admit, you did put in extra effort to ensure it would be facing away from him. Baby steps were the key.

 The second he left, you sagged against the wall.

 You moaned, hitting your head against the wall behind you. Stefan gave you a pitied look while Nicole stayed, a victorious smile playing on her lips.

 'It's good! You have to pique his interest!' She said, 'I mean, I would totally go for him but I can read my cues..'

 You froze, eyes wide, 'Why did you let me do it then?'

 'Well, I was available to take a customer but he just walked over to you even though you were busy,' she shrugged. But then her voice turned sweeter, almost dreamy, 'This is so lovely though, it must be the start of something new.'

 'Oh no no, don't you High School Musical me,' you warned and just as you were about to snap something else, Nicole grinned as she was saved by an approaching customer.

 'It's your fault if he never steps a foot in here again,' you hissed and Nicole only gave you a knowing grin before letting her voice be carried over the cafe in a warm welcome.

 At that moment, who knew you would keep writing messages on his takeaway cups.

 ~

  7 days to go until Christmas. You thought as you took a sip of your own coffee, savouring the first sip of the day, fresh on your tongue. You had been working for the whole week and were dying for a day off, and had gone way too over the number of people you could talk to in a day without a wavering smile.

 You were mentally preparing yourself for another upcoming day, letting yourself indulge in the quiet early morning as you took in the scent of the Christmas blend that had become your favourite.

 Funny, how before working there you rarely used to drink coffee.

 There went the bell again, a bright chime that now did nothing to elevate your mood, and you got up from your small bench you had dragged from the back kitchen. Managing on a smile that for some may have seemed forced, you sent out your first greeting of the day. To you it was the best you could do on the seventh day of work.

 Making coffees used to be fun, but you guessed it was not your thing after all. It didn't excite you as it excited Stefan.

 Was there anything that excited you as much coffee excited Stefan?

 'Not looking very happy today,' you heard a voice, a voice that had become so familiar, but you still froze on the spot as you drew in a sharp breath.

 A voice that made goosebumps erupt all over your skin and what once had been a forced smile, was now a smile that could have melted icebergs.

 You guessed you had enough energy after all.

 'Good morning,' you chirped out, only a second later realising you must've sounded like Nicole. Once again he did not make note of it.

 'It's freezing outside,' he commented as he opened the helms of his coat. He was wearing a beautiful burgundy sweater underneath and the colour had never looked so good.

 You tried to keep your eyes on his face. 'It is americano for you?'

 'Yes please,' he said and you turned around to prepare while he flipped through his cards, and tapped the card machine. Without a word he took his bag and coat over to his usual spot. You guessed he was drinking it there today.

 'Hi Hoseok, my new favourite friend!', Nicole's voice rang over the floor and you would've told her to quiet down if there had been any other customers.

 There wasn't any, so you said nothing.

 You watched him turn to Nicole with a smile, with a wave and a greeting before turning back to you.

 'No messages for me today?' He said jokingly, and you almost choked on oxygen. You coughed, and felt your ears fuming.

 'It's not you,' you said in response to his grin, and Nicole's laugh cut through your thoughts. 'Stop embarrassing me, or I'll sabotage your coffee.'

 'If you spike it, please make it strong,' Hoseok said with a wink and Nicole giggled once again. You turned away to prepare his coffee, not daring to say anything in fear of making it even worse.

 ~

  4 days to go until Christmas. You thought as you pulled your hair up into a ponytail. You had two days off, and there was only a couple more to go before you would be off for the Christmas days. And you would skip away after your last shift of the year, with a Christmas carol on your lips.

 'Look at you today,' Nicole said, in her own way of saying you looked nice. From her it was an acknowledgement. And truth be told, you had been feeling good when you opted for a red lip and a tad bit mascara. Feeling festive? Maybe.

 You were feeling amazing, looked amazing and felt like the world was open at your feet. It was one of those days where you just felt good.

 And it would be a cherry on the top if Hoseok decided to drop by. Not that you cared that much, of course.

 Liar.

 And even amidst all this, he still managed to surprise you as he was late, appearing just before your lunch break was supposed to start and your stomach grumbled as on time.

 You had to admit he had played a major part of your cheerfulness and glee as the days passed one by one, not even minding the work and the customers that were in danger to be set off even at the slightest threat.

 Whether it was the coffee not being dry enough, or the milk being too hot for a hot chocolate. You had seen it all.

 'Do you even have a day off?' He asked after a brief greeting, faking a shocked expression which you laughed off before mentioning your two days off and how you had done nothing productive.

 And you almost had to slap yourself. What happened to reading an interesting book or taking up a course?

 You know, projecting yourself like an adult.

 'Oh, I guess it's the last time I'll see you then,' he said with a furrowed brow, his head tilting to the right. Just a tiny bit that usually would've gone unnoticed.

 'Wait,' you said, confused. 'Why so?'

 'You're going back to evening shifts, aren't you?'

 And it dawned upon you.

 'You can always drop in and say-'

 But he cut you off, 'Do you want to go on a date?'

  The world stilled around you.

  Silence.

  'Wait, what, me?'

 Nicole, who had been on the floor to collect some cups, stood there, eyes wide. As if not believing what she was witnessing, and not really grasping if what was happening was a dream or reality. You didn't blame her, you were thinking the same.

 'Yeah, I'd love to take you out for dinner, or even for a cup of coffee.. somewhere else, of course,' he said as his hand came up to the back of his neck.

 'Or you can just take it that your messages called out to my heart and I would love to see more of these,' he added with a laugh.

 And suddenly Nicole was there, grabbed his phone from his hands and shoved it into yours.

 'Just do it. I can't stand watching you any longer!'

 Hoseok laughed.

 And so did you, as you typed in your number.

     ~