#obviously the new frontier pisses me off

[voltstone]

Realistically, yeah. A.J needed a community for the resources and support that Clementine just did not have at the time. So ultimately, how it all went down was for the better.

…however, I will raise one thing: no way in HELL would I have trusted the New Frontier either.

Clementine joined these people for the security and community they provided, and there’s nothing to suggest that she didn’t give her time and effort. She likely did odd jobs for them, and in return, she wanted that medicine for AJ (no duh).

But like?? These people are whack. Listening to how they talked to Clementine, associated AJ with someone who’s not worth the medical support to the point where any treatment beyond whatever tf Lingard was doing (Imma get to that twit) was considered a waste. Even though you’d think in an apocalypse, children are the priority because they’re who needs to live on.

I understand having to juggle vancomycin between a person who could immediately help in survival (an adult) vs on who can’t (a baby), but it’s the attitudes behind that. Especially since David had a family?? Hello?? Would you not want to give Gabe and Mari the chance to survive??

But then there’s Lingard whose addiction actively feeds off of their medical supply. His “medical attention” is the waste. Not AJ. But he gets to get away with it because…buddy system.

“Oh but he’s a doctor.” I don’t want a doctor treating/operating on me while high, thanks.

It also brings into question why David thought AJ would be in good hands with an addict?? Who steals their own medical supplies for his own benefit? Like I’m sorry, David. Do you or do you not hate thieves?

Lingard giving AJ off to the ranch was the one thing anyone in the New Frontier did anything worthwhile for the boy, because it actually meant a good community so bless him for doing that. Sure there’s the whole thing with the winter, but I also think it’s because he knew better than David and knew he wasn’t suited to take care of a baby.

But. Eh. Whatever. Lol.

I don’t blame Clementine for reacting the way she did, and holding a grudge. Nothing in how the New Frontier treated her and AJ told her that he was safe, hence why she was so surprised to hear that David did actually take care of him. All she got was these people will put their own interests first, and will come up with excuses about “we hate thieves” all while having an addict doctor right there, and then (on Joan’s part) turn out to be the faction stealing shit from other communities.

AJ was better off. …at McCarroll, not the New Frontier. Maybe David, once his fatherly instincts decided to kick in.

I will never understand why people get mad at David for giving AJ to the ranch after he explains that winter destroyed all their food

“He should’ve tried harder!” The fuck is he supposed to do, use magic to stop winter and grow new crops?

[pedrostylez]

How The Crow Flies - pt. 9

Javier Peña x fem!reader x Frankie Morales crossover

Word count: 5.4k

Chapter Summary: You and Javier complete the raid on Lorea's house while Frankie is escaping with what is remaining of his crew

Chapter Warnings and Disclaimers: 18+ only. I am not responsible for what you read on the internet. You have been warned! Locations and descriptions of places may be inaccurate in comparison to each story (Narcos and Triple Frontier). Timelines are obviously different between the two stories, so we are going to meet in the middle and say we are in the early 2000s. These are not necessarily canon characters in regard to how they act, how they treat people, and their current relationships. Hurt feelings, violence, and blood mentioned heavily in parts, including description of bodies piled up, admitting of feelings (to the best of his ability) by Javier, SMUT including riding, but honestly it's brief.

A/N: Omg the final part! Once again, thank you guys for being patient. I hope you all enjoy and don't hate me for how I left it at the end...open to interpretation? Anyways....love you all! If I have missed any tags for trigger warnings, please let me know and I will fix it. Thank you for reading!!!

Taglist: @thevoiceinyourheadx @suzdin @survivingandenduring @bariskaplans @inept-the-magnificent @casa-boiardi @paleidiot @darkheartgatita @missladym1981 @mellymbee

Frankie is tired. Arms aching, legs screaming, ready to collapse, tired. 

His mind is clouded, exhaustion taking hold as Benny hands him another backpack full of money. The wind whips across his face, the thin air making him gasp a bit louder than he intended. Benny looks at him with a worried expression, shaking his head when Frankie shrugs off the look he gives him. “Almost done, man.”

“Yeah.” Frankie calls, tossing the bag up with a grunt. He glances over to Santiago, his face caved in with dark outlines and circles around his eyes. 

He knows they are all pissed at him. 

Crashing the helicopter was all he had left to do, and even though Redfly said it was fine, said he picked the best option there was, there’s this sinking feeling in Frankie’s stomach. More is about to go wrong, and it’s all Frankie’s fault for not putting his foot down when they overloaded the helicopter. 

How could he deny Tom’s instruction? It was a losing battle, and even though they needed him to fly, he’s sure that he would have been cast aside if he had refused another time. And the looks exchanged between them when Refly shot at the group that surrounded them once they were all out of the crash… 

All Frankie could think about was your face as he crashed the helicopter into the ground, and now your face as he throws another bag to Benny. You would have been disappointed too, he thinks. 

This is going to be long and torturous. 

Javier watches your legs jump in the passenger seat, the tac-vest feeling tight across his chest. He reaches out, only having a little while longer of being alone with you before he has to pretend you’re just another agent-his employee. “It will be okay, hermosa.”

You nod, giving a brief, closed lip smile, wrapping your fingers around his. “I know.”

He squeezes your thigh once more, letting it rest there until they turn on to a dirt road. You tense, retracting your hand and breathing heavily through your nose. Closer and closer, you become rigid in your seat, watching the mirror to make sure the caravan of agents is still following. 

“How far we going? Over.” Jason speaks through the radio, you jumping in your seat at the sound. Javier chooses to not answer, knowing that they are close and not wanting to call any further attention to themselves for those that may be listening in. He refuses to let this be another fuck up. 

As his car continues down the road the trees become dense, the dirt turning to mud, and the radio picks up chatter that is new to him. Tilting his head to listen, his fingers subconsciously squeeze tighter around your leg. You grunt, grabbing at his wrist to indicate as such, but he holds on as the words through the radio become clearer. 

“Someone is coming.”

“Get the boy somewhere safe.”

You frown, biting at your bottom lip and looking over to him. “The boy must be his son.” 

Javier grunts, pulling his gun from his holster with one hand while keeping the steering wheel steady. You do the same with your own, holding on to the dash as Javier speeds up. If they already know that they are on their way, this likely will be a gunfight. “How old is he?”

“Less than 10. But his mother and his sister…” You trail off in confusion, looking ahead and contemplating internally. You come to a realization, shaking your head  profusely before speaking. “I don’t know what those guys did, but if they are protecting the son exclusively–”

“Then Lorea may be dead.” Javier finishes your sentence, pulling the car off to the side of the road roughly. The other vehicles follow suit, everyone stepping out with weapons drawn and ready. “On foot, be ready. Supposed to be 20 guards.” He calls to the others, crouching low and leading you toward the house.

He’s relying on you, on your information that you’ve gathered so far. It should be good intel, and you don’t show signs that you think otherwise. Your hand is resting on his shoulder as you both team up, stepping through the greenery and mud methodically on the way to each building ahead. 

You tap his shoulder and point, sliding your arm up so that he doesn’t have to look behind him. “Back security house, there should be 5 in there.”

He nods, glancing around quickly before bringing you toward the security building. You’re both crouched under each window, guarded and ready to take action. It’s silent, no movement to be heard beyond the wooden walls and he watches as you frown, trying to listen. You both step to the door, a silent countdown until he lifts his leg and kicks just below the handle, breaking down the door in one swift motion. He holds his gun ready, searching with it, leading and finding nothing. 

No one. 

You gasp behind him, his attention drawn to where you’re looking to find a poorly stacked amount of bodies and blood in the corner. It stinks, the smell permeating around him as he looks around and goes for the bathroom door. It’s unlocked, no one behind it. 

You both stand there in awe, listening for anyone else to say something into your separate ear pieces, or for gunshots to be heard. Nothing comes and you’re back to shaking your head. He can see your inhale sharply, wincing as the smell circles around you. “This is…weird.” You admit, holstering your gun and looking to the pile of men again.

“I thought you said they were just here for the money.” Javi grunts, stepping out of the security house and poking his head around the corner. No one else is in sight, and no noise of their agents are around either. 

“Maybe they…got caught?” You guess about Santiago and his crew, shaking your head. “I don’t know.”

“Let’s go to the main house.” Javi decides, stepping in front of you and holstering his own gun. If this is how one security house is, then so will the others, and he is less worried about being swarmed. He takes less careful steps toward the main house where the rest of his team went. 

Redfly is dead, Frankie is freezing his ass off, and all he can think about is your god damned face. He knows Will and Benny are looking at him, wondering why Frankie isn’t as quick to answer them, why he’s being closed off, but he just can’t help it. 

Santiago is too stuck in his own head to notice.

Redfly’s body is sitting just a few yards away, wrapped with a tarp and covered, but Frankie swears he can still see his open eyes after he was shot. The boy that shot him is long forgotten, down the mountain a ways and he feels guilty that he doesn’t care as much as he thought he would. Frankie is too focused on the fact that when he closes his eyes, it’s either you, or Tom’s dead eyes. There’s only a few more bags of money, and he’s having a hard time believing this was worth it.

“Tell me about your girl, Fish.” Benny calls, shoving his hands into his armpits to generate some heat. His hood ruffles in the wind, the fire from the money they were willing to burn flickering between them. 

Frankie shakes his head, sniffling and looking down at his knees. They’re covered in dirt, cold and aching. “Don’t have a girl.” He knows it’s pointless, to even deny. But there’s a part of him that wants to keep you to himself, still. Maybe if he blows Benny off, then he won’t ask again. 

He’s wrong, of course. Benny scoffs, shaking his head and looking at Will. “He had that girl Yovanna set up for the jungle in his motel room a few times.” The smile grows on Ben’s face, white teeth stark against the dark surrounding him. 

“Not supposed to be mixing like that, Fish.” Will chastises, smiling anyway. The brothers and their matching smiles staring back at Frankie, taunting him. 

Frankie keeps his mouth shut, cracking his neck and adjusting his feet. He takes a look over to Santiago and sees his eyes are on him too, curious as the others, and he sighs. They aren’t going to let it go, it seems. “Probably won’t see her again.” Frankie mumbles, his chin jutting closer to his chest to let some of his breath warm the inside of his jacket. 

Benny laughs at him, pointing a finger in his direction. “Sure you will, Fish. Keep your head on straight and you can come back down here, free as a bird, and see her again if you wanted.”

It’s silent while Frankie thinks, finally coming to the conclusion to tell them what he found out about you. “She…she was more than just what Yovanna hired.”

Yovanna was long gone, already on her way to Australia as far as they were all concerned. Benny quirks his eyebrow up at Frankie, glancing at Will and then giving a small shove with his shoulder against his, silently asking him to continue. 

A sigh falls from Frankie’s lips, shaking his head before letting it fall out of his mouth. “She’s the Siren, from Miami.”

When he looks up at them their eyes are wide and stupefied. All watching him closely, confusion clear before a laugh bubbles out of Will. “No fucking way.”

Frankie nods, a small chuckle escaping. “Yovanna hired the DEA as her whore.” 

Everyone is quiet for another moment, all eyes going to Santiago. Pope’s eyes widened, looking between them all and then a burst of laughter fell from his mouth. 

Benny and Will join, all of them beginning to laugh around the blazing fire until one begins to wheeze. As it quiets down, Frankie realizes that all eyes are still on him waiting for further explanation. He looks at the three of them and sighs. “The only reason I found out was because her boss called her cellphone while she was in the bathroom.”

“What a shame.” Will said, shaking his head. “Could have gotten her killed if it wasn’t you.”

Frankie winces, remembering the knife pressed to your chest that he clutched in his hands. The fear in your eyes as blood pooled and dripped down doesn’t quite leave him as he says, “I mean, I almost did.”

“Well, it’s good that you didn’t.” Benny exclaims, slapping a hand over his back. “Would have to be running from the DEA rather than a bunch of drug lords.”

Frankie gives a half hearted laugh, looking out beyond the mountain and frowning. He wonders where you are, and if Javier Pena is keeping you safe. He glances over to Redfly, his body covered and supporting the weight of a single bag of money. He doesn’t think this was worth it after all. 

Panic is coursing through you at the sight; men dead both DEA and Lorea’s, mop buckets dumped and water stained with blood. Drywall is ripped from most of the walls with stacks of money hanging haphazardly from the crumbling panels. 

Javier’s mouth is open in shock, and the way you reach for him to hold yourself upright shocks you, the dizziness overwhelming. “What is….what?”

He’s shaken out of his thoughts with your touch, closing his mouth and holding your arm just above your elbow to keep you upright. He turns just as Jason steps past him. “What the fuck happened?”

Jason winces at his tone, cracking his neck. “Remaining security guards were ready for us, but most of these guys were already dead. Looks like they were cleaning up.”

“Lorea?” Javier presses, stepping toward Jason as if to pounce.

Jason doesn’t react, giving a half-hearted shrug. “Dead.” He points, moving toward the staircase. “Upstairs, if you want to see for yourself.” His eyes flash to yours sympathetically, then turning to go up the stairs. 

Javier looks to you, squeezing your arm gently before letting go and leading the way to the master bedroom. You attempt to follow him, slowly climbing the stairs until Javier is out of sight ahead of you.

You’re sweating, clutching onto the stair rail and to the walls that are still standing as images of being in here only a few days ago go through your mind. It feels hard to breathe, seeing the blood smeared on the walls and the bodies piled in a corner or being moved by DEA men.

You weren’t used to this-only ever dealing with people that were alive and putting them behind bars. Never a raid like this-you weren’t ready for it. 

You gasp, shocked as you step into the master bedroom where the dresser has been pushed to the side, the wall covered in holes and Lorea on the ground. 

Behind his dead body is a dark room with still working security cameras, and a pile of money that has been combed through. The walls in the main bedroom have been torn from the studs, drywall and wood scattered around with torn and crumpled bills. It’s almost unbelievable, how things have been left. Did Frankie do this? 

You begin shaking your head, whispering mostly to yourself, “I don’t understand.”

Javier comes up behind you, the stress and anger roiling off of his body before he gently grasps your arm. “Your friends got what they wanted out of this it looks like.” He gruffs out, pouting in a way that typically annoys you. Currently, you’re unsure if he’s angry and that alone stresses you out. 

You turn to him, frowning. “This isn’t what I thought it would be Javi–”

“Don’t.” He stops you, turning to look at Jason and the others in the room who are still occupied. He closes his eyes, breathing heavily through his nose. When he turns back to you, you are now sure that he is angry, no question. “You need to go downstairs, go sit in the car. I have to do damage control with Stechner.”

You go to protest him, shaking your head defiantly. “Well, let me help–”

“No.” He huffs, adjusting his stance to stand farther away from you. “You’ve done enough.”

You step back blindly, looking over to Jason who is eyeing you curiously, David who is pretending to not notice and taking photos of Lorea. Tears begin to well in your eyes as you walk down the steps to the front corridor, stopping in your tracks at the opening. 

You breath starts to come heavily, difficult to push past your mouth. You lean forward, hands on your knees and let some tears fall. This is not how this was supposed to go. Frankie was supposed to get in and out. They weren’t supposed to kill this many people. 

You feel guilt roiling in your stomach, looking around briefly to see if anyone is watching you while uncontrollable tears are rolling down your face. You aren’t able to comprehend how this happened-you thought you did everything right. You did what you were told, as much as you were told with only a few hiccups along the way. 

Frankie was a hiccup. 

The idea that Javi had been right flashes through your mind, shaking your head at yourself almost immediately. No, that can’t be right. But how did you seriously believe that Frankie and all of them would just sneak in for money and leave without hurting someone? 

Your heartbeat slows down as you lean against the door frame and look out into the jungle, watching the leaves sway in what little wind there was. You glanced toward the direction of Javier’s vehicle, not seeing a soul in the yard. Turning to look into the room you’re at the threshold of, you also didn’t see anyone. 

Frankie had said they were here for a payday. 

Your eyes lock on a hole in the wall, the plaster thrown about and piles of money stacked haphazardly in between the studs. You wonder why they didn’t take all the money, looking to a duffle bag that is currently empty, labeled “DEA” on the outside. 

Your mind sparks with interest, looking over the duffle and finding yourself suddenly in front of the hole in the wall, duffle in hand. You give a final glance around, still alone, and begin blindly reaching into the wall and shoving the duffle full of money. 

To be honest, you don’t really know what you’re doing. You keep hearing voices from above you, the movement of Javier, Jason and David, but it doesn’t stop you from almost filling the bag full. 

You step out into the yard, trudging in the direction of Javier’s car and throwing the duffle into the floorboard of the passenger seat. Maybe this did go all to shit, and maybe you were going to lose your job, but you weren’t going to go empty handed.

Javier is trying desperately to keep his cool. He couldn’t help the coldness toward you when he asked you to go down to the car. He needed to start planning how he was going to handle Stechner. 

That son of a bitch was going to fire him. 

You were silent as you left, too dumb founded and concerned to really have anything else to say. He knew you weren’t prepared to see this; you had trusted what you were told more than you let on, it seems. 

“Boss.” Jason tilts his head for him to come closer, looking back to the security cameras. “Looks like they haven’t deleted any files for the past week. We can likely see who did this–”

“I know who did this.” Javier huffs, crossing his arms and looking over his shoulder to see who is listening. “Get rid of them.”

Jason’s eyes widen, shaking his head briefly. “What? But we could–”

“If it is a week’s worth then she’ll be on it.” He bites out as quietly as he can manage. “And if we only get rid of her, it will look too suspicious to only have some of it. We have to get rid of it.”

“We could say it got damaged with gunfire, or that he was in the middle of reviewing and deleting–”

“No.” Javier finishes, feeling a throbbing in his head suddenly. Clean up was always the worst part with these raids, and now there were children involved. “All of it, gone. You have at max 30 minutes before Stechner starts rubbing our noses in it, so get it out of sight.”

Jason nods, agreeing that the wrath of Stechner’s connections was not worth throwing a rogue military special unit under the bus. 

No matter how badly Javier wanted Frankie to suffer.

The pricklings of jealousy are roiling through him as he takes the stairs down, half expecting you to be standing there waiting for him in defiance. When he doesn’t find you, he takes a deep breath and leans against an open hole in the wall. 

His eyes catch on the stacks of money, biting at the inside of his cheek at the temptation. Who would miss this, exactly? 

There’s no opportunity, David coming down the stairs with paperwork and Jason following shortly behind him, confirming that everything had been deleted. Javier can feel his phone ringing in his pocket as he starts his trek to his car, the top of your head coming into view. 

He looks down, seeing Stechner’s caller-id and silencing his phone automatically. His stride speeds up, launching his door open to see you leaning forward with your elbows on your knees, crying into your hands. 

An ache in his chest takes over the frustration as he climbs into the driver’s seat placing a gentle hand on the back of your neck. You jump at the contact, lifting your head to look at him briefly before you try to suppress your tears. 

“It’s okay, hermosa.” He coos, pulling your face toward his and pressing his lips to the crown of your head. 

You try to suck in air harshly, wiping at your face and shrinking away from him. “This is all my fault.”

Javier isn’t as quick as he would like to say no, debating internally of whether or not to point out things he finds to be true. If you hadn’t stayed an extra day, not answering his phone call and spending it with Frankie, then maybe they would have captured Lorea, maybe they all would be keeping their jobs. 

Instead he is silent, rubbing his thumb back and forth over the curve of the back of your neck, sighing. “Let’s go back to the office before we get in any more trouble.”

You’re sitting on Javier’s couch again, dumbstruck and numb.

You were fired, of course. 

Being shipped back to Miami by the end of the week is what the ambassador had said. “You’re still welcome to work for the DEA there, but we have no further assignments for you here.”

Javier was the last to enter Noonan’s office, watching each of you get canned in different ways. David was being moved to another division, Jason was being shipped off to California, you were being sent home, and Javier…

You dreaded to think about what would be happening with his position. 

He asked you to go to his place, slipping his key to you and brushing past your shoulder without another glance before he was called into Noonan’s office. You weren’t completely sure what Javier would want to say to you in the privacy of your home, and you hoped he understood.

You felt like a fuck up. 

His door was pushed open before you had much more time to spiral, his suit jacket off and over his shoulder, his eyes finding yours. “Sorry, it took longer than I thought.”

“What did he say?” You ask quietly, beginning to pick at the skin around your thumbnail. 

Javier clocks it, throwing his jacket on the back of a chair and slipping off his shoes at the table. He strides over, giving a soft smile before settling next to you and grabbing for your hands. “He asked what I was thinking, asked if I thought stepping away from the cartels was worth what Lorea potentially had.”

“And?” You were impatient, clasping your hands tighter and worrying your bottom lip. 

He shrugs. “I told him I had good intel, said it was worth the risk.” Your eyes can’t help but look over to the duffle bag you dropped by your other bag of belongings. He brings your attention back to him by saying, “Let me come home with you.”

You’re shocked, furrowing your brow and pulling your hands away from his. “What?”

“I quit, and I don’t want to go back to Texas just yet.” He shrugs, almost nonchalantly except you know better-his eyes are telling a different story. The apprehension behind them, the way they watch your facial expressions. 

“I-I don’t know if I’m going to go back to Miami or not yet, Javi.” You sigh, looking to the floor. Part of you thinks you need to return to Utica, to hide away for as long as possible and forget about all of this. About the jungle, about Javier, about Frankie. 

Javi’s hand brushes against your cheek, subconsciously leaning toward him. “I wouldn’t mind seeing the snow.” He says quietly, smirking before correcting himself. “If you’ll have me.”

Your heart beats faster, tilting into him and smiling. “You wouldn’t even stop in Texas first?”

He shrugs. “Maybe for a week, to let my dad know what is going on but…I would meet you wherever you wanted me to.”

“Why?” The question falls out of your mouth, unable to be stopped. You and Javier had been back and forth, and you weren’t necessarily opposed to this–whatever this was. 

It was mostly just complicated. 

Javier smiles almost shyly at you, scratching his fingers at the base of your skull. “I care about you.” He says simply, leaning forward and brushing his lips against yours but pulling back before fully committing to the act. His eyes searched yours, asking for permission. 

You met him the rest of the way, leaning in to press your lips to his and shutting your eyes tightly. Javier groaned into your mouth, bringing his other hand up to the other side of your face and holding you to him. 

He pulls away for a moment, face flushed and his eyes closed. “I don’t just care about you. I just…do you need me like I need you?” He questions, opening his eyes to look into yours. 

They’re wide, a dark chocolate brown that you wish you could swim in to forget all your worries, but his question has you unsure. “I don’t know what you mean, Javi.”

He pulls away, clasping your hands in his again and running the pad of his thumb over your knuckles. “I mean that…if you and I aren’t in the same room, then I’m thinking about you.” You pauses, pressing his lips to one hand and then the other. “If you’re in trouble, then I want to get to you.”

Javier leans back forward, pressing his mouth to yours and letting his tongue swipe briefly around before mumbling against your lips. “And if you’re not the one on top of me then–”

“I get it.” You mumble back, pressing your lips back to his and bringing your fingers up to mess up his curls. 

He groans again, his question forgotten as you straddle his thighs and slide a hand under his shirt and up to his chest. 

You laugh as he pushes your shirt up, helping you undo your bra and remove everything from the waist up. His lips sear into the skin of your chest, burning into you like a brand. 

It’s quick, faster than normal how you both become completely naked and his hands are squeezing at your hips to get you sinking on to his cock. His eyes are rolling back into his head as your nails dig into the meat of his shoulders, riding him slowly and carefully. 

He squeezes your hips harder until you yelp, almost in pain, just so that he can hold you up and thrust himself into you instead of having you do the work. 

The sweat covering you starts to cool with his breath fanning over you, both of you silent beyond grunts and moans. He’s focused on your center, his thumb snaking to your front to press gently into your clit, his eyes snapping up to watch you orgasm around him. 

He follows you over that cliff, letting you collapse into him and his arms wrapping around your back, stroking up and down your spine.

It’s a moment or two before you lean upright, smiling down at him and brushing the fringe off of his forehead. “I think that I need you too.” You whisper, watching the smile spread across his face. 

“Yeah?” He asks lightly, pressing a kiss in between your breasts before playfully biting at one nipple. 

You laugh again, nodding along with him. “I think I’ll go to Miami to start, though. And you should go to Texas.”

He grumbles, half-heartedly agreeing before mumbling. “Yeah, okay.”

Two weeks later

You’re sitting cross legged in an almost empty apartment in Bogatá, packing up the final bag of your belongings. Another stack of money is being wrapped in a shirt, folded neatly with a pair of jeans as if nothing is wrong with it before being placed carefully into the suitcase. 

You had put as much as you could into your bank account without raising suspicions, but the whole thing was nerve wracking to begin with. You phone is ringing incessantly somewhere, and you blindly reach for the last place you left it.

Pressing it to your ear, you answer. “Hello?”

“Hermosa.” Javier says through the speaker, a clear smile in his voice. “You lose your phone again? You need a new one?”

“No, no…” You trail off, looking to the turned off burner phone you had left on your kitchen table. You pick it up, fiddling with it as you pace. “How’s Texas?”

“Oh fine.” He grumbles, shuffling around something before the click of a door reaches your ears. “Wanted to make sure you were on your way to the airport.”

“Just about, the car is on it’s way.” The burner phone comes to life in your hands, the screen a bright blue before it settles and tells an incorrect time. “Everything is basically packed though.”

“Good.” Javier pauses and you can sense his nervousness. 

“What is it Javi?” You ask with a small chuckle, crossing your arms. 

“Just wanted to make sure it was still okay to fly to Miami in a week?” He asks. You can picture that he is running his hand through his hair right now. “You’ll only have been back a week, and I don’t want to impose–”

“You’re not!” You exclaim. “I’m looking forward to seeing you. Don’t back out on me.”

“Alright, alright.” He laughs, then launching into something his father did the night before and complaining that he is getting called by the Sheriff’s office to become a deputy. “They want me? A retired DEA agent?”

“Well your ass would look great in their uniforms.” You coo, zipping up the suitcase and setting it by the door. 

He grumbles, complaining a bit more before finally asking for you to have a good flight, and to let him know when you have landed, even with the time difference. 

You make the promise, hearing someone honk at the front door and hanging up quickly before exiting the apartment and tossing the key under the mat. 

After loading up your bag and getting comfortable in the back seat, your phone begins to ring again. You groan out loud, looking down to your hand where you are still holding the burner phone and your daily phone, and see that it is not the one you had expected. The number is not one you know, and obviously not saved in the contacts, but your heart begins to beat faster. 

The burner rings for a third time before you snap out of wondering who it could be, flipping it open and bringing it to your ear. You listen for a moment, frowning when there is no clear indication of who it could be. “Hello?”

A sigh you’ve heard. “‘You alright?” Frankie gruffs through the speaker, quiet but calm. 

“How the hell did you get this number?” You ask just as quietly. 

“Remembered a few digits. Sue me.” He bites back, and you feel yourself heating at the thought. Frankie as he looked through your phone to see Javi calling you over and over, also going to the settings to find what the number to the phone was. You’re not sure if the heat is anger or want. 

“What the fuck happened?” You launch into questioning him, asking why they had done what they did, trying to not frighten the driver that was pretending to not listen. 

“It got all screwed up, and I ended up more broke than before.” He sighs after listening to your rant, your questions drilling into him. You think that maybe he is actually relaxed somewhere, resigned. 

You glance down to your purse between your feet, some of the money you had taken in your own wallet. “You didn’t even get any of it?”

“Oh, we got some. Lots, even.” He laughs ruefully. “But it was too much for the helicopter, and Redfly died and–we got enough to get us out of there.”

You hum, slightly disappointed for him. You think briefly that you should tell him you were able to get some of the cash, but then quickly decide against it. 

The driver pulls up into the airport temporary parking, popping the trunk and pulling out your bags for you. 

“Frankie, I have to go.” You sigh. 

“Where?” He scoffs, not believing you. 

You roll your eyes, looking around and seeing that driver has already left, and you’re about to be late for security. “I have to get on this flight. Go home.”

“Miami?” He asks, suddenly excited. 

“Well, yeah I–”

“Let me pick you up.” He interrupts. 

You pause, standing on the sidewalk with the burner pressed to your ear, your other phone in your hand. Finally, after a long moment of silence with Frankie patiently waiting on the other end, you’ve decided. 

“My flight lands at 4.” You confirm. 

You almost hear him smiling. “I’ll be there.” He says quietly, a silent promise following his words. 

You click the phone shut, looking around you briefly before tossing the burner into the nearby trash, stepping toward the entrance to get your bags checked. Frankie could memorize your new number later.

[sleepymarmot]

From this interview:

Interviewer: The show really caught on fire starting in Episodes Four and Five. As you know, I enjoyed the first three as well, but Rolling Stone’s TV critic, Alan Sepinwall, spoke for some viewers when he wrote that from his perspective, you were insufficiently attuned to making each episode stand on its own, even within the larger story you were telling. I guess part of it is that for him, it started slowly. I’m just curious about what you think of that line of criticism.

Tony Gilroy: Oh, I don’t even think it’s an argument! He’s gonna have to get with the program. [Laughs]

That’s some old shit, man. Everything, all of this shit is new, which is just really fascinating, to be at the frontier of this new kind of storytelling, this new kind of scale. I heard that [comment] along the way, even when we brought the episodes in [to Lucasfilm and Disney].

I don’t wanna piss this guy off, obviously, but I wonder if he feels the same way now, because do you really think that you will be able to appreciate what happened in Episodes Eight, Nine, and 10 as much without knowing what happened back in Episodes One, Two, and Three?

Yeah, that’s about what I thought.

Multiple people: Hey some of these episodes don’t stand on their own. They’re not structurally independent and complete, and their material is not interesting enough by itself, it’s just overly long setup for what comes next.

The Auteur™: But aren’t the stories that come later better when they have setup?

When watching and thinking about episodes 1-2 and 4-5 that had been on my mind. “I guess it’s necessary for what comes next; let’s hope this has a good payoff”. But the immediate counter-argument was: why can’t episodes and scenes at the beginning of the story both set the stage for later events and have their own merits that don’t depend on what happens next? Sure, episode 1 of the story introduces the characters we’ll see later, that doesn’t mean it can’t have a proper arc and conclusion. This is like someone saying “Hey, you burnt the crust” and the cook responding “But without the crust, there’s no pizza!” Just completely missing the point of the criticism.

What blows my mind about the show itself is that those later, stronger episodes of the show do actually stand on their own, all of them! 7 is the reaction to Aldhani; 8 is the horror of the prison and Cassian’s reaction to it; 9 is Kino’s radicalization; 10 is the prison break; 11 is the preparation for Maarva’s funeral; 12 is the funeral/riot. Every episode in the latter half of the show has a self-contained narrative arc that is resolved by the end. What do episodes 1 and 2, 4 and 5 have? What are they doing other than introducing the characters and locations for episodes 3 and 6 respectively? It can be said that episodes 1-3 are structured around the stages of Kassa’s plotline (1: Kassa and his sister; 2: confrontation outside of the ship; 3: inside the ship, meeting Maarva), but these are the three acts of a single arc, not three self-sufficient ones.

Conversely, what surprises me about the public’s reaction is that I have seen posts with huge note counts on here that mourned the death of episodic TV and complained about the shows becoming unstructured day-long movies. Now everyone who brings up the same criticism about Andor is spoken about like an idiot with a short attention span by some of the fans of the show. Many of the episodes have strong endings that get well-deserved praise; so why shouldn’t the episodes that have weak endings deserve criticism?

[stxleslyds]

You always seem down on the idea of the Batfam. I mean, it is hard to take seriously when writers make Bruce hostile or downright abusive towards his kids, or when Batfam members never interact. But do you think the concept itself is good, and it's just been the victim of bad writing? Or do you think the Batfam is a bad idea that can never work?

Hi there Anon! Thank you for the ask!

Hmm, this is a difficult question. Maybe I can answer this better if I do it in parts because the concept of “Batfamily” is used in different ways currently. A way to separate them can be, DC’s Batfamily, Fandom’s Batfamily and Fandom’s Batfamily lore being introduced in comics’ canon.

DC’s Batfamily:

My rejection of this version of Batfamily comes from all angles, it is not a good concept within comics lore anymore, it’s badly written and used to hide and move on from truly horrendous actions done by Bruce towards the rest of the family, and DC uses the concept of “Batfamily” that fandom has become so attached to, so they can profit off of it without writing anything of real essence with it.

Why did I say that the Batfamily isn’t a good concept anymore? Well, because the Batfamily that I first came across in comics included, Bruce, Dick, Alfred, Barbara, Tim and Cassandra. It was rather small and their books interconnected and had pretty solid relationships with one another. Dick and Tim got along and spent time together, Barbara mentored Cass so she could become Batgirl and so on and so forth. The family was smaller and more connected. But they still had problems and bad habits then. So, I liked them as a group of people that worked together and the name they received was “Batfamily” as a way for DC to profit from it.

Right now, the Batfamily is huge, I don’t know if you have seen those splash pages with all the members of it for Rebirth and Infinite Frontier, but those promotional pages were crazy big, characters like Harley and Clownhunter are now considered part of the “Batfamily” and all that. Then there is the kind of characters like Cass, Steph and Kate who are all connected to Batman but that haven’t been appearing in books for very long, so putting them on that page really feels like DC is trying to prove that their “Batfamily” actually has women on it, but it’s just for show.

And then there is Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian, the most recognizable faces of the Batfamily aside from Bruce and Alfred (but Alfred is dead now so he doesn’t really count), all of them have had issues with Bruce or are indifferent to the existence of one another. Yes, Tom Taylor has included Tim in Dick’s book but here is the thing, it feels like he put him there just to make fans shut up about the lack of content with both of them acting as they used to do. But its false and lazy, Taylor just brought Tim to the book but we don’t get to see Tim and Dick interact in ways that can explain why they drifted off, it kinda seems like all those years where Dick and Tim were pulled apart never happened to DC and that makes me think “cash grab”. I would have loved to see them interact again if it meant that we would have some solid story for them to develop their relationship once more.

At the end of Rebirth, Damian was pissed off at Bruce and they had a fight and Damian left the manor completely. Bruce beat up Jason, then gave him a hug but still told him that he was banned from Gotham and all that abuse and manipulation was swept under the rug when DC came out with Urban Legends: Cheer, all they did with that story is lie and made-up stories about Jason wanting Bruce to go on a killing spree so Gotham can finally be the home to his beloved family (lies, lies, lies).

On top of all that we have the neglect, abuse and manipulation that Bruce had going on with Dick, ever since Bruce manipulated Dick into joining Spyral his actions haven’t faced any consequences (the family still believes that Dick was the one who lied about dying). And as recently as the end of Rebirth, Dick suffered from a head injury that left him amnesiac and Bruce absolutely didn’t care enough to look after him when he was so vulnerable and alone. DC had the audacity of having Bruce say that he was looking after Dick while Dick went from one villain manipulating and hurting him to another, and if we look at Batman’s run, we can see that he spent some of that time in a weird pit or playing catch the pussy with Selina in a tropical island.

So, taking all those things into account, I honestly believe that the Batfamily is a concept that absolutely does not belong in comics. If it were to be taken seriously then DC should come up with (organic, not forced) stories that make these characters connect once again, but they have to be careful, just because they can connect it doesn’t mean that everyone gets along and they have group chats and eat dinner together of Fridays, that would be a blatant lie and just too out there for their kind of dynamic, so, they should take things slow, start re-building what once was an make it better (if they want to make it work and feel like less of a cash grab).

I heard that there is a book with Cass and Steph being mentored as Batgirls by Barbara coming out in December, that to me is a good thing, what was done in Robin #5 was awful, Jason didn’t have or want to be there, Tim, what the hell was Tim doing there? The only ones that have gotten along with Damian and have had a solid relationship with him were Dick and Steph. Dick had a very nice moment with Damian in that issue, but Steph didn’t, they preferred to have Jason wanting to hug Damian instead (what the actual hell was that?).

Fandom’s Batfamily:

Fandom is a place where people can take any concept from anywhere and transform it into whatever they please. This fandom is just like any other in that matter, but I have noticed that sometimes the Batfamily Fandom tends to blur the lines between what’s fanon and canon. Their lore is so deep and established among people that they sometimes (willingly or not) make new readers or other people believe that how things and perceived in fandom is how things actually are in comics, and that is a huge problem.

Things like “Dick sent Jason to Arkham when the Joker was just a cell away”, “Jason has pit madness and when he gets mad his eyes turn glowy green”, “Dick was a horrendous brother to Jason before Jason died”, “Jason would be good friends with Tim and Cass”, “Jason is the only one that sees the world differently from Bruce and the other robins because he is the only one that comes from a life with no luxury” and so on and on and on…

All of those things are sometimes treated as the absolute truth by fandom and no matter how many times people have debunked and explained that those things aren’t part of comics’ canon because they are simply not true, fandom stills treats those things as the basis of their Batfamily lore.

That lore would be actually fascinating if people didn’t lose sight so easily of the fact that at the end of the day none of that lore can be applied to comics’ canon.

When you enter this fandom things can be extremely confusing and the way some of the characters are characterized are completely different to their canon characterizations, I knew that the Dick fandom was writing about was not real, but I had no idea that Tim being a coffee addict that hasn’t slept in five months and is an absolute genius in everything and anything that he does was completely out of character for him, I just thought that was true to his character in comics too. Something like that happened to me when I took a peek at Jason’s side of fandom, by that time I had read Red Hood/Arsenal, UtRH and New 52 RHatO (yeah in that order, Red Hood/Arsenal wasn’t finished yet though), with the already conflicting characterizations of those books, the first look that I had at fandom’s Jason confused me even more. After considering all those I decided that the Jason that I wanted to see and actually looked appealing to me was UtRH Jason.

Not all people in fandom read comics and that is ABSOLUTELY VALID, I have zero problems with people not liking the comic characterizations of the “Batfamily” characters, but that in itself also creates a rift between fans themselves.

Fandom’s Batfamily lore being introduced in comics’ canon:

This is obviously the intersection of the other two points and this is the biggest problem that I have with the Batfamily concept. The fandom lore has been leaking into comic’s canon for a while now but right now we are kinda drowning in it. Decisions that have been made recently in DC like, Jason giving up his guns, the group chats in Nightwing issues, the family dinners that were hinted at in Cheer #6, and Bruce having had at the ready a Red Hood suit for Jason with a Batman logo in its chest, have been proof enough that DC is planning on skipping any kind of solid writing for these characters to actually get along. We are never going to see these people sit down and talk about their differences and respect each other’s work ethics.

We are never going to get stories of actual essence that prove that these characters understand and care for each other, we are just going to be told that “all is good” and now everyone loves one another and they will build from there.

That is a problem for me.

-

And it also takes away duality from Gotham’s vigilantes, I know I say this too much but it’s the truth, putting all these characters under the ruling of Batman makes them all bland. Jason shouldn’t be part of any sort of group that involves Bruce! My god, I don’t want to see them interact anymore! Bruce has been absolute trash to Jason ever since he came back from the dead and I am tired of DC trying to make them be on good terms!

Jason and Bruce not getting along can co-exist with the fact that Jason isn’t a villain to Batman’s legendary hero. Jason is his own character, with his own morals and he doesn’t need a bat symbol on his chest or book logo to be relevant. Same with Dick, Tim and Barbara, let them be characters that can stand on their own because they have already done that!

Barbara as Oracle worked WITH Batman if she wanted, she had her own logo and had passed on the mantle of Batgirl because he had grown out of it.

Dick is Nightwing and has become an even better hero than Batman could even aspire to become, he has contacts with everyone in the DC universe, has led countless teams, he doesn’t NEED a batman logo on his book or to be constantly dragged back to him just to make the Bat more compelling.

Jason, my sweet Jason, he had his own logo! It was gorgeous and then Lobdell had the audacity to stamp a Batman logo in the middle of the book name and in Jason’s chest! Have we gone absolutely mad? Why did they do that? Lobdell’s constant back and forth with Jason and his feelings for Bruce, he respects him and he doesn’t, he kills and he doesn’t… each issue felt like a new take on the character! It was crazy!

And that has happened with everyone in the “family”. I will end this by saying that Bruce/Batman being at the centre of this “Batfamily” dynamic is the most laughable thing in the DC Universe. Batman isn’t family to any of the people that they constantly surround him with, he is a piece of shit.

Anyway Anon, I hope this answer doesn’t ruin your day and that you understand that even though I really don’t like the “Batfamily” concept, you and everyone else are allowed and encouraged to think differently!

Hope you have a marvellous day Anon!

[ran-orimoto]

FRONTIER FEST✨✨✨✨✨

Oh lol I’ve managed to bring my ass to do this, what the heck. I’ll do the first four, I guess.

1 First memory of Frontier

My country (Italy!)’s opening. It was like 2012/2013 when I opened the door to the Digimon world and I started by listening to italian openings. Eventually I obviously landed on Frontier and its badass one!

2 What do you like the best about the series? Alternately, how does it continue inspiring you?

Frontier might be one of the most hated seasons of the franchise and I can see why: the flaws are clear, the characters are fleshed in a kinda poor way, the last arc of the season is a total mess and so much more. Well, what I love about Frontier is exactly what it could have been. It’s weird, I know, but I’m in love with its wasted potential. Don’t misunderstand me, I loved this season also because I genuinely enjoyed a lot of scenes and ideas, but what makes me love it even more is what could have been with better-fleshed characters. They left a lot of fantasy to the watcher, the fantasy to imagine tons of what ifs about this oneric world they left behind.

LIKE, FRONTIER, TELL ME ABOUT IZUMI’S AND JUNPEI’S FAM??? The manga says Junpei comes from a wealthy, refined family. WHY HAVE YOU STOPPED AT THEIR SOCIAL STRUGGLES??? No really, it pisses me how Junpei and Izumi’s family are the only families we don’t know a thing about🤣. It’s like if they wanted to represent the loneliness of these two in that way as well.

Another aspect I really love about Frontier is that I adore imagining it as a dream, or better, I love imagining the whole journey these kids had was only useful for them to grow up, becoming a mere dream once they reached that goal. Even if my favourite hc of mine, of my fucked up mind, is that sooner or later they will forget about this dream, and, why not, many past flaws will surface within them. I like draw and angsty stuff, don’t judge me🤣. The whole <<Digimon can’t enter real world>> thing gives me these vibes.

3 What are your hopes for the “official” Digimon Frontier 20th anniversary?

Idk, I’m very happy we got that artwork of them in fancy party outfits, so I hope new artworks about the bbies and, why not, some new cool cards like the ones Digimon Tamers’ characters have had; you know, those with the 3D perspective.

4 Favourite main character (Human)

Grumpy, clumsy, glutton, wise, brave, kind, romantic electric beetle son. I mean, I’ve broken his tag. What can I even say? I admit now my love for him is on the stars because of the drama. Seeing him taking on opera singing and being so into my country makes me hope for him to move here and eat as much as he wants 🤣. Ahaha returning serious, he’s one of the most detested Digimon characters because of reasons I can’t explain. People depicting him as a pervert whereas he only has got an innocent crush on the main girl; people saying he’s an annoying brat whereas they don’t even try understanding how relatable his character is: feeling so hopeless and inferior than others and trying finding worth in yoursef? Heck if I’ve been there! Minchia. And it’s a daily struggle I still face, so I feel him greatly. I also love how he seems not to be that close to the other kids in the drama -except Izumi- anymore. Idk I kinda feel like the group has been too mean towards him in many circumstances; I would have thrown them all off the cliff when everyone laughed about him trying being the leader or when everyone accused him of having peeped on Izumi WHILE HE HAD BEEN THERE, WITH THEM THE WHOLE TIME BEING. Honestly wtf, I woukd habe written the first episode I’ve mentioned in a much more different way because I would have made him really vacillate about the trust he has got in them.

Then there is Izumi too…But she’s a complete mess of a character. Ton of potential they have thrown in the WC. Being a girl, I feel offended by her character, by the way she’s connected to such a frivolous arc, to her random mean attitude. Still I love her a ton because, again, of what she could have been besides an annoying sexualized presence in the franchise.

[holyhikari]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YELLS IN RAINBOW DIGICODE! everything is so pretty in the reboot I don’t even mind the evolution sequences anymore.

I wasn’t able to watch episode 5 and 6 until yesterday, and I’m sO HYPED for the 2020 adventure timeline now! I loved how they introduced us to some of the lore of this universe and a prophecy (the pastel rainbow + greek architecture imagery of the temple had me shaking) right away, and it’s interesting that in this incarnation our dear mons apparently have memories of a mysterious past and a war they fought in. I don’t think it’s connected to the pre-reboot timeline or kizuna or anything, fortunately. I want to see this becoming its own thing. 

Valdurmon is our big rainbow bird and so far they’ve been fulfilling the role of Gennai explaining stuff. Aldurmon is majestic. I love them. Where’s Gennai. I also love Gennai.

also UHMMMMMM there were six eggs.

CONCERN. 

Seraphimon and Ophanimon did appear, though. They were alongside Cherubimon (!!!!!) and some other powerful mons I couldn’t make out (MEICOOMON?!!?)

so I think we only see six eggs because the six mons of the older kids were ‘regular’ mons who fought Devimon/Apocalymon/all the evil incarnate in the old days, and Hikari’s Tailmon and Takeru’s Patamon are the reincarnations of two of the sacred mons; namely, two of the Three Archangels. So I wonder if we’ll also meet a Lopmon? Like in Frontier. But obviously there were more than three (again: MEICOOMON?!!?), so. I have no idea —  perhaps by “Sacred Digimon,” Valdurmon meant the Three Archangels + those new ones. What kind of insane powers will Takeru and Hikari have now? Much doubt, much excitement. 

(I apologize if someone already put it like this, I haven’t gotten around to read many reviews.)

We have the little bat thingies acting like Devimon’s rings. (Edit: I meant gears, not rings. I just turned Devimon into Ken.) We have Ogremon fully operating on pissed off & existencial crisis mode, not a Leomon in sight. But I have faith. Devimon’s abs are much more defined now, and I am a pervert apparently. Sue me, he’s hot.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH Mimi’s episode has been my favorite so far!!!!!!!!! Her characterization is spot on! They managed to balance out her being a little brat and extremely sweet so well. I was worried they’d go too deep too fast into the spoiled princess archetype and have her come off as way more insensitive than she is, poor kid. And GRANDPA? WE'VE BEEN BLESSED WITH MORE TACHIKAWAS?!  ;;also, Taichi and Sora immediately recognized the kindness inside her. Taichi played along with her kingdom and even called her queen, I love my boy. Then Mimi called her new supportive friends servants #72 and #73. God tier group dynamic right here.

I am living for the glitchy aesthetic of this anime. Seriously. Sometimes at the corner of the screen you can see the Digital World glitching a bit and it’s honestly so satisfying. I am pleased. 

Palmon’s data almost vanishing out of existence was less pleasant to watch, but it was pretty nonetheless. So it’s fine.

It’s amazing how Mimi and Palmon already saw I love you to each other — and don’t you think I didn’t see Sora blushing at the open display of affection. This had me intrigued. So far Sora has been lovely, and don’t get me wrong — she is baby —, but I’m missing my emotionally constipated girl who couldn’t stand Piyomon doting on her when they met, lmao. Hopefully, we’ll get a closer look at their relationship soon. As for Koushiro, it was so cute his little moment with Kabuterimon. “Oh I think I came to this world to meet you. [heart emoji]” “Sorry could you repeat that Koushiro-han.” “REPEAT WHAT?”  

Next time (tomorrow!) THAT BOI IS JYOU KIDO! Personally, I think Jyou and Gomamon’s dynamic is the more unique of the group — you gotta get the teasing and the banter right! —, and my favorite, so it’s the one I’m anticipating the most (alongside Hikari and Tailmon’s, because that’s just who I am, fundamentally, as a person.) Since Yamato already debuted and Gabumon evolved pre-canon, I’m assuming we’ll see him again right after Jyou, but instead of a shinka episode we’ll probably get some backstory? [eyes emoji]

Now that I’m too attached, I’m officially moving on from calling the reboot Digimon Adventure Psi. I’ll be using Digimon Adventure 2020 (and #da: spoilers) from now on. Thank you for coming to my DigiTalk. 

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

An Explanation of Why Louis and Violet are Both Terrific Love Interests [1/5]

+Why both romantic routes are not only amazing but better than other games I’ve personally played in the past. 

+Why some people are idiots and get off on picking stupid fights. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Grab a beverage and sit down, I’m about to weave you a tale. 

A long time ago, I made an Instagram account. I did this so that I could have another place to intake TWDG content. I got to see lots of artwork and watch fun little videos and edits and it was all great. 

For about an hour before everything went downhill far too quickly. You see, I rarely go on that Instagram account anymore because no matter what tag I look under to search for content, a good 60% of it is all the same: hateful. 

Hateful towards Violet, hateful towards Louis, hateful towards each other. I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve scrolled past with the title “TELLTALE AND SKYBOUND HATE LOUIS AND HERE’S WHY” or “VIOLET IS THE WORST AND HERE’S WHY” or “WHY VIOLENTINE IS CANON AND CLOUIS IS NOT” or any other nonsense along those lines. 

After that, I quit going on Instagram. 

Until one day, I thought to myself, “Well, maybe now that the game is over, those dingdongs have moved on and I can look at the twdg tag in peace!”

And to be fair, it wasn’t as bad, but it’s still actively being made. Along with other questionable content that I think has taken hours off of my life just by witnessing it but we’re not going to dive down that rabbit hole right now. 

Anyway, after glancing over another “SKYBOUND HATES LOUIS” post, I couldn’t help but think, “Y’know, either y’all don’t realize how lucky we were to have gotten a bisexual lead with not only one great romantic option but two amazing romantic options, or y’all are just a bunch of idiots who get off on fighting. Maybe even both. I mean, sure, they’re not equal in every single way possible and there are a lot of things that I wanted, but it’s a helluva lot better than what we’ve been given in the past with other games.”

The thoughts kept building up as I recalled previous games that had optional romances that left me underwhelmed or downright disappointed. Neither Louis nor Violet have perfect romance routes, each with things that we wish we had more of, but we’re lucky to have gotten what we did, and because I haven’t written a post like this in a long time, allow me to break it down for you. 

Keep in mind that this is just my opinion and how I see things. I’m sure there’ll be a point where you say “Well, CJ, I beg to differ on this particular topic and/or idea-” and that’s fine. 

Hell, maybe you have a game with a disappointing romance that I didn’t list here because I’ve yet to play it. That’s great, feel free to share! This post is for fun but also because I need to vent some frustrations towards a fight that is 100% unnecessary but continues regardless. 

Beware of spoilers for the following games:

Life is Strange Persona 4 TWDG: A New Frontier King’s Quest [2015] Catherine

[both Louis and Violet are great!]

all y’all on instagram are just idiots

Now, in case you couldn’t tell from my blog, I love Louis. When it comes to my personal canon of TWDG, clouis is my endgame. Louis is my favorite non-playable character of the entire series, if not my absolute favorite. I love him. 

You know who else I love? Violet. She’s great. I found myself relating a lot to her character and I wanted to see her make it to the end okay. I was pissed when she was pissed at me, but in the end, I was more pissed about her treatment regarding her blinding and how easily she and Clementine made up. 

But you know what I really, truly love? A great bisexual protagonist: Clementine. 

Clementine’s the lucky one here in that she has the choice between sweet, charming, loyal Louis and witty, strong yet sensitive Violet. This is the definition of “bi panic” because really

I do want to add that I haven’t played Violet’s romance route, but I don’t need to to know that it’s great. There are a thousand and one blogs who can explain her romance with Clementine 100% better than I can, but I will try my best within this section and my conclusion since I’m mostly talking about them together.

Now, why is it great that Clementine is a bisexual protagonist? Well, there’s obviously the representation which was more than welcome in this case, regardless of what some idiots will say. 

Not only that, but it allows the player to romance a boy or a girl, which again, is obvious but I have some points about this that I’ll bring up when I talk about other games, like Life is Strange and Persona 4, so put a little pin in that for later. 

Both Louis and Violet are presented as loving partners for Clementine, and they’re both people who Clementine cares about. Based on your choices and how you play her, you can be as affectionate with them as possible and help them better themselves over the course of the game. 

Louis and Violet have different but interesting backstories, they have different ways of communicating their feelings, they both deal with their own struggles [internal and external] and open up to Clementine in different ways. 

Yes, there was plenty to be desired within the routes. We’ve talked about that before so I won’t go into great detail about it, but in conclusion: Louis and Violet are great. 

So why do people argue about it?

My scientific conclusion states that they’re idiots who get off on picking fights over the internet. 

And that they don’t know how good they got it because we could’ve gotten so, SO much worse. 

At this point, I will be comparing the Louis/Violet romance to romances found in other games I’ve played, starting with a game that I liked very much, but was ultimately disappointed with, well.... everything. 

[life is strange and imbalance]

every choice matters except not really until we hit episode 5: bae vs bay

Life is Strange is an episodic game that released in 2015. It follows Max Caulfied, a young, aspiring photographer attending Blackwell Academy who learns that she can rewind time after witnessing a girl being shot in the bathrooms. 

I was pretty into this when it first came out. I played each episode as it came out, I read stuff on Tumblr and watched every theory video on youtube I could find. It had a likable and relatable protagonist, a pretty cool missing person mystery, cringy dialogue, and cool rewind powers. 

Let’s talk about Max, our playable protagonist. 

She’s shy, awkward, nosy, and she wants to be a photographer but lacks confidence when it comes to putting herself out there despite having the talent. She goes through a lot of grief and betrayal through the game, but ultimately learns more about herself and how her choices affect everything around her. 

She’s also bisexual, and like Clementine, she can romance a girl or a boy. 

Love Interest #1: Chloe Price

Chloe is the deuteragonist [secondary main character] of Life is Strange, and Max’s old childhood friend. She’s also the girl who gets shot in the bathroom, and the girl whose [girl]friend, Rachel Amber, is missing. 

Over the course of the story, Max and Chloe reconnect and grow closer as they try and find Rachel while also trying to figure out Max’s powers. We spend most of our time with Chloe, going to diner’s and junkyards and what have you. 

We learn a lot about Chloe’s home life: Her father died in a car accident, her mom owns a diner and remarried an asshole who smacks Chloe around when she smokes weed in her bedroom. We see Chloe as her most vulnerable, we save her life numerous times because she just won’t stop getting herself killed. 

Hell, we do this to the point where it begins to physically hurt Max and makes her bleed. We do this because Max claims that Chloe is the most important person to her. 

The most important person in Max’s life. 

Now, spoilers for the ending, but it turns out that the storm that’s come to destroy Arcadia Bay is all because of Chloe. So, the final choice Max has to make is to either go back and let Chloe die in the bathroom or let the storm destroy a town and kill nearly everyone there. 

Either you sacrifice an entire town of people or you sacrifice Chloe. 

Bay vs Bae, as the kids dubbed it.

Romancing Chloe isn’t exactly full of fluffy smooches, though. You’d think it would, but considering that the girl we’re looking for is Chloe’s girlfriend who Chloe loved very much, it’s mostly Max saying how much she cares about Chloe and then Chloe turning around like “Boy, I wish Rachel was here...”

Then we find out Rachel’s fucking dead and that’s a real romance killer if I’ve ever seen one. 

Hell, the only time you get a real smooch from her [that we see] is if you sacrifice her! If you sacrifice the town, the game’s like “Really? Okay....” and you watch Max and Chloe drive through a wrecked town and into the sunset together. 

There’s a lot of different factors to it that you don’t get unless you’ve played it, but for me, it was disappointing. I didn’t even romance Chloe the first time because I didn’t even really like her, but when I did romance her, I felt cheated!

I only get to be happy with my girlfriend if I can live with the blood of an entire town on my hands?? And odds are, fate’s gonna keep trying to kill her, so I also have to hurt myself and numerous timelines to keep her alive until I eventually explode????

Man, I don’t know if I want to commit to that, y’know? Thankfully, there’s another romance option I can look at, right?

....Right?

Continued in Part 2

[disappearinginq]

Really? You're still hung up on comparing Magnum and Higgins to your famaily even though that annoymous poster explained to you, over and over, all the ways you're wrong? Being sarcastic and insulting someone is not the same thing as being sarcastic to express affection. You're b-i-l is a dick who picks on your sister's insecurities and makes her feel worthless. Higgins pokes at things that Magnum is secure in, like his intelligence, because she knows there's no chance of him being offended

(2/3) I have family and friends in the UK and every single time you ignore all the evidence to the contrary and insist that Higgins is this awful toxic creature, you're insulting every one of them. Honestly? You're just as bad as the shippers you profess to hate, only, where they insist there's non-existant romantic feelings, you insist there's non-existent offense being given. None of the men are bothered or upset by her sarcasm. They've made room for her in their ohana. They adore her.

(3/3)

And she has killed, and nearly died, to keep Magnum safe. That's not the sort of thing someone would do for someone they don't give a flying fuck about. You seem like a really intelligent person and I just don't understand why you insist on ruining this show for yourself by clinging to this wildly incorrect first impression instead of letting your opinion develop the way her character and relationship with the three guys has.

Oh, there is probably some etiquette where I’m not supposed to stoop to your level and ignore this with a “toddle off” and a peace sign so that I can be the more sympathetic in this conversation, buuuuuut.  I am not the kind of person. So. One, sit the fuck back down, buttercup. From here on out, you’re Exhibit Fucking A why I goddamn despise shippers. And here’s the biggest one: do I come in your space at all? Do I, oh, I don’t know, specifically go and find you assholes, just to pick a fight on anonymous, like a goddamn coward? No. I don’t troll fics tagged with Miggy, telling the authors to fuck off an die (which you lot have done to me). I don’t go onto a server and bitch them out to others (which you lot have done to me) and then incite people to come and go after the people who don’t share my view (WHICH YOU LOT HAVE DONE TO ME. DO YOU SEE A FUCKING PATTERN, YOU GODDAMN TWAT WAFFLE?) So you know what, fuckwit? Drop dead. Come off fucking anonymous so people can see who you really are. Be brave, you little insect. And I swear to fucking christ almighty, your little bitch ass better not come back with ‘I don’t have a Tumblr account, so I can’t boo hoo). 

Two. Vix and I are friends. Unless you can’t read and interpret the English language, which you seem to do just fucking fine, you would see that. In fact, you can credit her why I try really hard to rationalize some of Higgins’s behavior (and then either dipshits like you, or the writers themselves, make it impossible and I have to remember Vix and her wonderful insight). In case you didn’t fucking read, she is also the one who commented on the utter horse shit story lines we’re being fed, so there goes your leg to stand on. We had our discussion, we came to a shared, fascinating insight that the other one had to offer, and she’s the reason I leave anonymous commenting on, because as much as I would love to set you on fire, I love hearing from her more. So pitter pat, jackass, back to your hidey hole. 

Three. I’m sure I could be much more eloquent about telling you just how much I despise you on a fundamental level, but I am actually too fucking pissed off. But good news - you’re apparently pretty confident in your position, so this won’t insult you when I call you a cowardly ass - unless, you’re on anonymous because I have you blocked, which means you wanted this.  “ I have family and friends in the UK and every single time you ignore all the evidence to the contrary and insist that Higgins is this awful toxic creature, you're insulting every one of them.”

 - I’m sorry, but do you even see the fucking irony in this. Oh BOO GODDAMN HOO, a person complains about a character and shit fucking writing from the show because they have her character fucking weave back and forth like a goddamn weeble wobble, and they get personally offended and I should stop because their feelings are hurt second hand? That’s basically what you’re saying - I hate this character, and therefore I hate them. If they behave like Higgins, you’re probably not wrong, but what the hell do they care what I think - someone who has never met them? That’s what we’re drawing from this. In the same complaint that you have that I IDENTIFY WITH THEM, BUT IT’S WRONG ACCORDING TO YOU BECAUSE IT’S NEGATIVE? Eat shit and die. What I hate about the writing is that if you say fucking boo to Higgins, she canonically pouts for a whole fucking episode instead of manning up and using her not insignificant vocabulary. When it was someone else who needed less than legal means to get into this country, she refused to help, but now when it’s her turn, oh fine let’s break some federal goddamn laws. When a character, or a person, can’t take what they dish out, that’s the definition of a hypocrite. When the rules are played different to benefit a white person over a brown person, that’s white privilege. And eventually, you have to fucking learn to not be an asshole - even John Watson hits a threshold and punches Sherlock in the face for being a douchebag. 

Four. My sister is in fact incredibly intelligent. She holds duel bachelors of science, and a masters in technology and is a card carrying member of MENSA. She is very confident in her intelligence. But being told repeatedly that you’re an idiot, it’s a wonder you can speak your own language, how could you be so dumb, you’re lazy, you’re freeloading, you’re whatever, but then turn around and be like ‘why would you be insulted? Obviously I didn’t mean it!’ that’s fucking gaslighting. 

Five. HOW WOULD WE KNOW HOW THE GUYS FEEL ABOUT HER SINCE THEY’RE ROUTINELY NOT EVEN IN THE SAME GODDAMN STORYLINE AS HER AND MAGNUM?!  You wanna know what though? I want to like Higgins. I do. Because when the writing isn’t fucking terrible and making her out like a classist bitch, I love her. When she’s cracking jokes at the poker table? When she’s losing at pool with TC and Rick? When she’s got that funny little smile on her face because she’s so proud she surprised Magnum when she came to get him with the guys when he was stuck down in Triple Frontier? In the episode where they’re on the bus tour and she is the one who offers to go and confront the woman to tell her that her new husband is dead because she takes one look at Magnum and sees that this hits a little too close to home? I love her. Because the writing isn’t terrible, she’s actually human, and it isn’t a story line that isn’t one of the worst tropes to ever exist (really, did you miss the three thousand memos of I hate romance and romantic sub plots and tropes? Fake dating, fake marriage, I literally hate all of it, and they just made it worse by having it make no sense whatsoever in the narrative other than to play Shipping Bingo check off) I actually like her. 

And then some little shit like you comes along, and I go right back to hating her, because of the things you choose to ignore, and the things you choose to defend. If you don’t have to acknowledge her faults, I don’t have to acknowledge her strengths. TL;DR? Eat a dick and die, Nonny fuckwit. 

[laiariblackadder]

It needs to edited and stuff, but this is from like a year ago and I’ve been too lazy to update and edit? 

Anyways, this is the beginnings of the first chapter for my sylvari personal storyline. Trying to mesh 4 damn people with the actual game characters is a LOT. BTW, none of this is canon because I’m too lazy to read a book. :/

So, What’s New With You?

She always imagined that this day would come, for her to go back to her place of birth in the same fashion she had left it. Running. She hadn’t been back in the forest in what felt like decades. So much has changed. For example, the big, overgrown, very grotesque looking fortress looming down at her as she runs past it. That wasn’t there before, and why are there Sylvari standing about as if they were admiring it? She went up to one of the men patrolling, hoping to ask for directions to the Grove, but not before a sylvan dog, black and jagged ran up to her with claws and teeth ready to work their way into her flesh. The man yelled at the dog to stand down as he waltz his way over to her. 

“You seem very lost, do you even know where the fuck you are? Are you a sapling, you must be. Only the recently awakened and the desperate wonder over here.” To her, he seemed rather eager to help, but not before she saw the dagger in his hand, ready to place itself within her. 

“Well first off,” she said, “I am not recently awaked or desperate so let’s notice that first. Second of all, I am trying to get to the Grove, I have to see the Pale Tree.” Her hands were now at her hips and awaiting his next breath. 

“Ah, I see,” he began to ponder about, deciding whether he should invite her inside his little community all under the disguise of being a good samaritan, “ well luckily for you I can totally help you get to the Pale Tree. Now note that you are in the swamps and travel through here is not wise, however, I know of a shortcut through the village where we won't be attacked by pesky swamp trolls and hateful hylek tribes.”

She knew he was lying from the start, his mannerisms are that of a pathetic human bandit trying to con an adventurer out of their money, and she knew what he was, a courier of Nightmare. See the thing this poor sod didn’t and failed to realize is that you do not try to con a mesmer. She began to laugh hysterically which set the man off as he tried to swing the dagger towards her sides. The dagger hit, but it sure wasn’t her. The next thing he knew, he was blinded in a cloud of smoke and had no control of his actions. His dog attacked him and he attacked it and once the smoke cleared, both he and the poor Nightmare hound laid in a pool of their own blood, his eyes fixated on her as she smiled. 

It was time for her to move on, she truly wanted to see if the man would help her, as again, she hasn’t been in the forest for quite some time. It was clear that things have changed and the knot in her stomach began bothering her again, her thoughts circling around her, afraid that she would not be ready for the change. 

The Wardens and menders have been working nonstop to keep the general public calm and checking in on the wounded. Many of the pods were damaged and a couple of saplings never made it into the world and the ones who did are severely injured. The Nightmare Court has been active within the past few weeks, with minor, coordinated attacks all over the forest. This is the first major attack in years that the Grand Duke and Duchess of the Nightmare Court actually showed their faces. Take into consideration that Nightmare also had seeped its way into the Dream and threatened to harm mother and the unawakened dreamers, the Wardens were forced to abandon everything to protect the pods. The Grand Duchess knew what she was doing when she had the court attack Astorea and almost wipe out the warden outpost right then and there a few days ago. The Lionguard and the Vigil have been ever so helpful in restoring what little peace is left for the citizens of Astorea and hopefully the Grove. 

“Captain! The last of the bastards have scurried on back to their hole in the ground, hopefully they won’t be coming back for a while,” the Warden Scout said. 

“Good, make sure the frontier is secure, I’m going to check in with Niamh,” said the captain, as she started to remove her helmet and her locs began to stick out. Going to see Captain Niamh was going to be a stressful moment. She almost lost her for good, and the others know this, by her own hand. Malicidae was ordered to stand watch at Caer Astorea, in case another surprise wave of couriers were to return. Her conscious will not allow her to do anything Niamh tells her to, unless she knows she’s alive and well. 

“But Captain,” the scout suggested with a concerned look, “Firstborn, erm, Captain Niamh said that you must return to post and that she would be very-”

“-I am very fucking aware that she wants me there, but it’s my damn fault that I wasn’t mentally strong enough to stop her from…,” Malicidae rambled on, eyes on the verge of bulging out of her skull. She was visibly pissed in this moment, at herself, at the scout, but especially at the Grand Duchess, my on my won’t she have a fun time chewing Firstborn Caithe the fuck out about all of this. Malicidae sighed and for once listened to the scout and motioned him to follow her back to the post. 

Caithe sat next to the sapling, motionless with no expression as Firstborn Malomedies look upon her. He’s seen this face of hers many a time throughout the years and knows that she needs to be consoled, not that she will allow anything like that to happen. 

“I should have been faster, I could have saved her. She doesn’t deserve to fight death this early in her life. She doesn’t deserve that.”

“Caithe, I...for the most part, she is breathing, and she has stopped moving in her sleep. She has found some form of peace for now. I can watch her for now.”

“I...should go speak to Mother about this. She needs to know what is going on. “

“Are you going to talk to her about-”

“-Ugh, yes you don’t have to badger me about her Mal, I am aware,” snapped Caithe which made Malomedies slightly flinch, eyes closing and hands massaging his temple, “but, it’s not like her to just suddenly give up like that. Something obviously spooked her, forcing her to retreat. Whatever, or whoever that was, must be formidable, and I must seek them out.”

Malomedies held Caithe’s hand with a firmness reassuring her. “Go,” he said, motioning to the entrance of the small room, “ please ask Mother what of today, and how to continue forward from this. Considering many of the pods were damaged, I don’t know if many of the saplings will even make it. Dammit! What was she thinking!?” He exclaimed with a seething anger, one Caithe knew was rare of him to act upon. 

“She wants to make a Blighted Tree. Mother, but full of Nightmare. I’ve heard rumours about it, somewhere west of the Grove.” She explained. “She wanted to test a theory today, that she can infect saplings in the Dream, and that they would awaken from their pods as Nightmare Couriers. As of right now, I am unsure if she succeeded or not. There is no telling until she wakes up.” She nods to the sleeping sapling next to her in a calm and soothing slumber. 

“Caithe, this is bad you know. We need to get with Niamh and see if we can get some scouts, maybe even contact the Order of Whispers. Maybe they know how to weaken her, at least long enough for us to make a plan to stop her.”

“And you think they will tell us anything? Come now, Mal. Let’s not worry about this now. If anything, the Grand Duchess was spooked enough to be on guard and actually stay to herself for a while. That will buy us some time you know.” Malomedies deeply sighed to Caithe, unsure of her comforting words as he knows better than to trust her intuition. He accepts her words regardless and she gets up and leaves the small leaf built building to go to the Omphalos Chamber to speak to the Pale Tree. 

[aion-rsa]

The Good Lord Bird Episode 3 Review: Mister Fred

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This The Good Lord Bird review contains spoilers.

The Good Lord Bird Episode 3

It’s right there in the title. This week’s episode is all about Mister Fred—including how you must remember to call him Mr. Douglass at first meetings. His rather puffy reaction to “Fred” likely took some viewers off guard, but imagine if Onion had called him what he was taught by Old John Brown: Frederick Douglass, the King of the Negroes.

Indeed, it is with that lofty title that Daveed Diggs’ swaggering and delightfully subversive interpretation of Fred is introduced. When we meet him, the energy Diggs projects is decidedly more virile than the typical Ken Burns pop culture image. In his first scene, Douglass is delivering one of his most famous speeches: “What to the slave is the Fourth of July?” Yet as presented in The Good Lord Bird, this is less the revelatory re-contextualization of American pride through the prism of American hypocrisy than it is a headliner playing a greatest hit.

Soon we learn all that pomp and pomposity is but the tip of an iceberg where Douglass is concerned. On this show he’s presented as many things: a dandy, a man of vanity, and also one of the greatest minds of his era… at least when he isn’t focused on his apparently very open marriage. One can almost sense the glee building among the writers and director when they frame Douglass’ home life as a ménage à trois between himself, wife Anna Murray (Tamberla Perry) and German immigrant Ottilie Assing (Lex King). And if you missed the heavy implication, it’s soon explicit when they’re both soon making out with Douglass and competing for his nocturnal visit on the same night.

Obviously this depiction of Douglass is meant to throw viewers off as readily as Ethan Hawke’s boisterous turn as Old John Brown. And there is even something winking about the casting of Diggs, who’s most famous for playing Thomas Jefferson as a preening peacock in Hamilton, which earned him a Tony. There he played an affable hypocrite whose dark side is truly repulsive (and somewhat glossed over), given he was a humanist and an Enlightenment thinker who made profound progress for the rights of white men while keeping, and abusing, Black slaves all his life. Now Diggs plays a former slave whose hypocrisies are also not quite so wholesome as the grade school history book presents.

And that is, again, one of the most satisfying things about The Good Lord Bird. Rather than coast on the sanitized versions of men who did great things, it revels in their contradictions (even as Douglass’ contradictions are not nearly so tragic as those of Brown’s or, for that matter, Jefferson’s). Frederick Douglass was a former slave who escaped bondage of his own accord at the age of 39. A true self-made American, it was his political savvy and lucid mind that converted many others to the cause of abolition and equal rights before, during, and after the Civil War, including softening some of President Abraham Lincoln’s harder thoughts on Black Americans in the war’s early years.

Yet Douglass was also the most photographed American of the 19th century. He preferred photographs to paintings because he rightly did not trust any white American artist to get his countenance correct, and he knew photos would humanize Blackness to white audiences around the country. But, again, he stood more than any other American in his generation and several after for the laborious process of having his picture taken.

And while it’s merely left in the realm of speculation, many have theorized he did have an affair with German feminist and freethinker Ottilie Assing. We’ll never know for sure, but The Good Lord Bird embracing the possibility, and moral ambiguity, is more than just humorous; it taps into an elemental truth about humanity.

People are messy, history is a record of flawed actors with potentially complicated and sometimes unflattering motives, and progress is never made cleanly or in a straight line. In the age of simplified pop culture that reduces most social battles to good guys in capes versus bad guys in armor plating, actually embracing the messiness of our society is not so much about demythologizing history as it is a reclamation of human nature. Plus, Diggs’ admittedly-too-youthful energy as Douglass is joyous to watch.

How the series gets there is also interesting enough too. The episode begins with the apparent end to the Bleeding Kansas portion of its story. On the run with bounties on his and his sons’ heads, Old John Brown deduces that it’s time to go to the “King of the Negroes” to get his next assignment from God—and perhaps some money to incite a reckoning.

For in one of the show’s best moments, Brown crafts a new Declaration of Independence, one tellingly based on Jefferson’s soaring and empowering rhetoric from 1776… but with the realities of centuries of slave trading taken into account. Brown doesn’t just want to end the institution; he wants to bleed the whole nation the way Kansas has bled.

“We are to light the fuse that will start a great war to end slavery,” Brown preaches. “It will be a war between the North and South, both are guilty, both must share in the sacrifice. Slavery must go down in a tide of blood and carnage.”

The prophesying might have felt on the nose if not for the fact we know Brown will soon die to begin this war—missing the actual cannon fire over Fort Sumter by about one year. This is the real thesis of Brown’s life. Although, I suspect it isn’t the thesis of the series. Hence Brown being a character of almost mythic bombast each week. It came again tonight when he threatened a train’s ticket taker for trying to make Onion go back to the end of the train. In a natural context this could play as ludicrous, if only because while Brown was able to get away with illegal activity in the frontier of Kansas, he’d face unfriendly prosecution anywhere closer east. But in a show that basks in larger-than-life mythmaking, it’s sublime here.

The point is not to just highlight the bigotry in the North Onion will still face; it is to remind us of the status of Brown, and why his brand of crazy is able to earn a reluctant spot at the dinner table of Frederick Douglass. Because if anything, tonight’s episode is about an hour of contrasts.

It’s a funny moment when Douglass urges Brown to visit his house after the old man tries to draw a pistol on fireworks. “Lunatic,” is what Douglass mutters to himself. But as we see them sitting across the dinner table from each other, we understand what draws them together—and pushes them apart.

As presented in The Good Lord Bird, theirs is the age old relationship between political activists and the moderate establishment. They’re both “radical” by the standards of 1856: two men campaigning for abolition, with one being Black. Yet it is the Black man who urges caution, particularly in public, even as he is vaguely aware that Brown is itching for revolution behind closed doors. A revolution soaked in blood.

You see shades of the modern political left, and of every era, in these two men. And on one hand, The Good Lord Bird wishes to side with John Brown. He is, after all, the protagonist. And we know his prophecy of a tide of blood and carnage will come to pass. Onion’s voiceover narration also provides skepticism about Douglass’ reticence. But then Onion is a character who is constantly astonished about this world. Last week it was with awe he admired Pikesville, even as he saw a man pissing on the street. This week Onion is more rightly impressed by Rochester, a community where Black children can play with a ball in the streets.

But he also doesn’t quite understand African Diaspora when Douglass broaches the subject, nor does he seem to give it much consideration later in the voiceover. I’m a bit skeptical as to whether Douglass would be so haughty toward a recently freed slave who didn’t know his name or the term, but Douglass is right to try to broaden Onion’s mind to the fact that their culture and heritage was stolen from them, and they must seek to claim their new one.

It’s also why Douglass is the first, and to date only, Black character who cannot be bulldozed by John Brown’s rhetoric and sense of privilege. Poor Onion is now wearing fancier dresses because Brown cannot be bothered to learn his actual gender, and poorer Bob is being led toward almost certain annihilation, as threatened by J.E.B. Stuart tonight. But Brown’s patronizing assumptions on Black slaves is ultimately what gets him killed in a half-assed revolution at Harper’s Ferry. And Douglass, as a “king,” doesn’t have to put up with Brown’s horseshit indefinitely.

“So now you know what the Negro slave needs,” Douglass cries. “Are you quite finished? As someone who has never lived in bondage, never been owned, never been savaged, never been used to death and then discarded, please do not presume to tell me what a slave will or will not do.”

For once Brown cannot ignore the actual Black perspective. Granted Douglass is also taking a politician’s careful calculations in this moment, reluctant to lobby for money from six benefactors too rich or powerful to be named at dinner—Brown wants their cash in order to pay for a bloody crusade of attrition throughout the South.

But Douglass’ prudence has just as much foresight as Brown’s Civil War fortunetelling. Brown foresees the war that was inevitably coming by this point; and Douglass sees it as well, but in his bones he’s right to likewise notice this madman is going to get himself killed, and is a fool to think slaves will follow him so easily into the grave.

The uneasy tension between political allies with different solutions (and delusions) is at the heart of the episode, which gives it more teeth than the humor of Douglass clearly flirting with Onion, oblivious that it’s a boy on his loveseat while his wife and not-wife are waiting in cold beds.

Onion also revealed certain insights this evening. Up until now, Onion has been fairly passive in his own story. He took the initiative last week to save Bob’s life when the shooting started, but otherwise has survived by making the choice to go along to get along. One might even argue he doubled down on that again when he decided to stay by John Brown’s side instead of taking the secret passage under Douglass’ house—and continuing up the Underground Railroad to actual freedom in Canada.

And yet, for the first time Onion could be called free, because he finally made a real choice: he could stay with nutty Brown or strike out on his own. He may have taken the easier and ultimately more dangerous path, but at least it was his decision instead of Brown’s. In that way Douglass provided the opportunity for real emancipation to Onion, and in so doing gave Onion something Brown is incapable of even understanding.

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That cognitive dissonance in Brown, and his relationship with Douglass, as well as the relationship between all purists and pragmatists, made “Mister Fred” a liberating hour of television.

The post The Good Lord Bird Episode 3 Review: Mister Fred appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[kitto-toberu-sa]

DigiFes

It’s a long day folks. We were up at 5 to get to the venue by 7. You aren’t meant to line up until 8 and goods weren’t meant to go on sale until 10.

Heaps of people were there earlier in a somewhat orderly fashion. But management decided to fuck us all around and said we needed to line up from the opposite end of where we were. This may not seem like a big deal, but remember items are limited and resellers are a thing. This was a chance for people who arrived later to get to the front.

There was a literal stampede. People were screaming and being shoved. I was separated from my group numerous times, and only got back with them due to shoving others and the kindness of other fans who clearly realised I was with the other foreigners.

To get to the other side, management made us go in a complete circle. It was unnecessary and quite frankly, a little dangerous. It didn’t stop people who were there earlier from being close to the line, or help those who arrived on time be rewarded. It was just bad planning.

Of course, then it started raining. Umbrellas went up and if I hadn’t of been wearing glasses I would have been poked in the eye more than once. To say it was unpleasant would be an understatement.

The line slowly shuffled along. Every now and again people behind us would start pushing like mad, despite the fact that the line wasn’t moving. It was 35+ degrees Celsius, no air con, everyone was a bit hot and bothered. These jerks were not helping or doing anything to get the line moving faster.

If you follow my snapchat and/or twitter, you may have seen me mention the kindness of fans. This specifically refers to one lady in line who let me stay under her umbrella with her and who talked to me when I was separated from my friends. It also refers to another girl who kindly returned one of my badges to me.

You read that right. The lines and shoving were so bad, numerous people were having items ripped off their ita bags.

I don’t care where you’re from, that’s disgusting. It’s unnecessary, rude and disheartening. We’re all meant to be fans of the same thing and we all know some of these items are expensive or rare. The fans who were helping others get their things back were the MVPs of the day. Everyone who pushed and shoved can eat dog food for the rest of their life.

Goods started being sold early, at 9. Most likely due to the feral crowd. We were only a little over 100 people into the line, but by the time we got there, all of the keychains had sold out, as had some other items. On the other hand, by the time the first session finished, most items were sold out yet the amount of tshirts left was overflowing. Whoever did the math in the product department really needs to be fired. So many goods were gone, and the badges being so limited was honestly appalling. They want our money and Tri is a pretty blatant cash cow to the point it’s disgusting, yet they limited the badges (among others), one of the few things people are happy to buy quite a lot of, to such a small amount. Very bad planning. Lots of people were disappointed and trading was mediocre as a result.

We left the building just after 12. We’d spent around five hours lining up, buying goods and trading. We went to a supermarket and got some food, and since we had our trading stuff still out, a little girl came over to talk to us. I was with people who got Meiko badges (so many people did) and they didn’t want her, so they gave the badges to the little girl and her brother. A new set of Digi fans in the making???

I ended up trading the Koushirou acrylic stand to THE Koushirou fan. She lost her shit. In exchange I got ‘frontier no debu’ (the frontier fatty). She couldn’t remember Junpei’s name ;;; I also traded something else (Omegamon?) for LadyDevimon which is an A++++++ trade, tho the other girl was very confused as to why I wanted LDevimon. I SO regret not ordering that figure it’s sooooooo beautiful!!!! They had the prototypes for the sibling figures as well, and I can’t wait until the Yamakeru one is mine, they’re so cute!!!

For seats, I was in the fifth row, pretty much in the centre. Before you went in they had the life size AguGabu duo. One kid was like ‘um, no thanks!’ when his mum made him have a photo with them and I ended up sitting next to him. The girl on my other side was there for the first time too and pretty much cried the entire time haha

So first up was a talk and the reveal of the twitter poll. Nobody believed Jyou has a girlfriend – everyone thought that scene was the funniest moment. This happened a few times during the conversation. Every time it came up, his VA would just stand up, shrug and go I DO TOO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

Meiko got a lot of support – Junko (iirc) said she supported Meiko because ‘she moved to Tokyo from the country’. As someone who lives in rural Japan, I can totally relate! Literally nobody supported Yamato lmao

I apologise that it’s short, but it was funny and interesting, but I can’t remember a lot of specifics sorry ;;; Fans and staff were shocked Leomon died. Like, have y’all ever been involved in this franchise????

Mini live – Miyazaki then AiM. Most people are only familiar with adventure stuff tho, which is kinda sad. It is also the main focus of fes so it’s understandable.

Next was advertising. Basically the figures, Agumon being in Appmon etc. Unfortunately, they showed a lot of this pre-show while we were waiting, so it was pretty dumb and pointless unless you came in just before the show started :/

The trailer, obviously online now, made people excited. I’m hoping Hikari goes dark either because of Taichi, or she tries to fight Takeru and Taichi gets in the way and gets hurt hehe~ Nobody really spoke about it tho.

Next was the drama segment. Essentially, there’s a singing contest and the winner gets an all you can eat buffet with them and friends. Obviously, with nine kids and mons, that's a great prize! Yamato wasn’t there due to his VA being ill, which came up a few times.

They all sung their chara songs, which was a little dull tbh. If it had been last year, it would have been great promo for the cds, but this year it feels too late and they didn’t want to put effort into a full drama.

Jyou ran off because the pressure made him have a bad stomach. Gomamon tried to bring him back and failed. Gabumon tried to bring Yamato in but failed but Gabu sung. Most of the cast didn’t sing. Hikari and Gomamon sung. Takeru did as well, Patamon blew him out of the water since it’s Seiyuu was jumping around and being cute.

Mimi sung I wish iirc and then started with Super Girl. AiM came out and they duet’d. It was pretty rad and you can hear how close new Mimi is to AiM’s Mimi. Palmon was like ‘wow two Mimi’s!!’ and Koushirou was ??? a little confused by past and present versions.

Agumon’s seiyuu ROCKED Agumon Sunba and then  Agumon Ondo (fit will since it’s matsuri and obon season). I would drink with her any day of the week. The seiyuu and lifesize Agu Gabu all joined in to dance, and it was cute how some of them had no clue what they were doing.

Meikuumon also sung. Weird to see the VA do the voice change so quickly. And she’s so tall??

Anyway, Agumon won and Mimi was low key pissed. “I lost to Agumon? That’s kinda…”

Then, the new song. Aikotoba. Holy shit it’s pretty. It’s very soothing, their voices work so well together. Please buy a copy of the CD!!!! I haven’t heard a single person say they didn’t like it. Wonderful song and lyrics.

Of course, everyone sang Butterfly. They had Wada-san’s performance from the time when they announced tri, which was special. Everyone gets kinda emotional. It’s definitely a moment where everyone feels like family.

In the group photo, I can’t be seen but I can see my light stick lol Most people had red or blue, so I chose green to represent Mimi (no point in representing Yama if he isn’t there lol). So it was easy to figure out where I was haha

By the time we left it was 4ish, and by the time we got home it was 9. A very, very long day, but a mostly eventful and amazing one <3

[ilikemovies26]

Yes, I'm bringing it up again.

I know, I know; I’ve spoken about this before and it’s probably pissing you all off by now. But seriously, guys, I haven’t found much online about Frontier whump. Let me just explain to you why the whump in Frontier is so amazing.

Firstly: Jason Momoa plays the main character, Declan Harp. I love Jason Momoa. He’s tall; he’s dark; he’s handsome. He’s got a scar across his eyebrow that’s a real scar from a real bar fight, which is fucking awesome because it just makes him look even tougher than he already looks. Why does he look tough, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. He’s got broad shoulders and a killer body, and he’s so tall that he towers over everyone else. He’s got beautiful eyes but they’re kind of hidden by his untidy, long hair and his thick eyebrows. He’s got a wild look to him. He’s so physically intimidating, with this gruff voice and scarred appearance, yet his hidden eyes are so emotional and open, and that comes through in his acting; his pain, his anger, his grief, is all communicated through his eyes before his words or actions. It’s amazing.

Secondly: The whump is continuous and believable. When he’s tortured, it continues throughout the episode. The torture is gruesome, including cuts and punches, and stabs. However, it’s not over the top or unbelievable. A lot of shows tend to go overboard when it comes to torture, putting characters through things that no actual person could endure. And, these shows also tend to overplay how stoic a character is which means that the torture is fucking absolutely mental, but the character puts a plaster on his ninety-eight gunshot wounds and goes on with life like he’s unharmed. NOT THIS SHOW! The torture is just bad enough to incapacitate Harp, but not bad enough to kill him. He’s stabbed twice: once in the armpit and once in the stomach, and it’s the one in the stomach that does it. After that, it goes completely downhill. He’s already lost blood from the multiple other gashes - superficial wounds at most - on his back and chest, so when he’s stabbed in the stomach he quickly loses consciousness. But first, he groans and yells and gasps as he writhes in pain, hanging from the ceiling. He’s stoic enough not to give in to his tormentor, but not enough so that he’s able to overcome the pain of these injuries.

Thirdly: the emotional whump is mind blowing. When Harp finds out the truth about how his tormentor tortured and killed Harp’s wife and child, he absolutely loses it. He sobs and yells inconsolably. It’s the first time that he actually appears a broken man. Like I said before, he’s already in pain and he’s already weak from blood loss - which you can see by the agonized look on his face and the drooping of his hazy eyes - so the news of his family destroys him and I think that’s when he eventually gives in to the pain and blood loss, and he loses consciousness. To see Jason Momoa cry is not a common occurrence, so this broke my heart just as much is it would have had it been real and not just a show. It’s like I said before, Harp is stoic, but not so much so that his injuries are ignored.

Lastly: The injuries continue to plague Harp even into the next episode. The next episode occurs ten days later, but he’s still in terrible shape. The wound is infected and Harp can’t breathe, or walk, or stand. He’s weak, feverish, pale and sweaty. Momoa plays this perfectly! He actually looks like he’s going to collapse, and it’s so realistic that you forget it’s a show. Every move Momoa makes is done with the injuries in mind, and he never once falters. I know I’ve said this before, but his acting is flawless; it’s realistic! He obviously tries to hide from his friends just how much pain he’s in, but he never succeeds. My favorite example is when he’s told that he has to go someplace safer, and his face literally crumples and he whimpers as though he can’t even bear the thought of getting up. And when he does get up it is obvious that the effort was monumental, and it’s even more obvious that without the support of his friend he would collapse. His breathing is ragged throughout the episode. And, at the end of the episode when you think it can’t get any worse… a bloodied, pale, sweaty Declan Harp collapses once again. This time, though, he’s alone, and he’s in worse shape than ever - unable to stand, walk, or crawl.

And that, my friends, is why I love that show and the whump involved in it. Not only is the storyline amazing, and the acting fucking fantastic, but the whump is in a league of its own.

Please say someone else out there has seen this show and loves it as much as me???

[mieaux]

The Walking Dead: A New Frontier EP1+2

So after I finished watching a playthrough of the first episode of The Walking Dead: A New Frontier, I had a lot to talk about and I realized I didn't have anywhere to write it down so I could talk about it with my friends (yes, I have those) later on. So here are my thoughts while watching EP 2 of A New Frontier. If you'd like to follow along, here's the playlist that I'm watching.

(obviously spoilers)

Episode 1

or what i remember because i wrote this up after i finished watching it

Is Eleanor Asian? lennyface

Eleanor, girl, you comin on a bit strong

Why is Eleanor just randomly propositioning to Javi and offering to help him out of nowhere, that seems a bit suspicious

Mari's death was incredibly predictable, I mean come on why would you just stand there in the open

Why's Clem so insistent on killing them? (Or does that come later in the story)

Choosing to go with family or staying with Clem was the only tough decision for me

Why couldn't Clem go with them again .. ?

Episode 2

"He's always talking about how I'm never around" WELL YEAH YOU MISSED YOUR DAD'S DEATH

Although this does make sense why David's so pissed at the beginning. I thought he was just being emotional because his dad passed away and Javi was doing everything he could to get there in time

Kate WHY ARE YOU MARRIED TO DAVID YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT HAPPY

Oh of course as soon as David comes along Kate starts defending her lecherous ass

"How's it look?" Ooooh boy that look from Eleanor says it all

Oh my god Gabe, quit being a lil bitch, I know you're PMSing and all, but no need to throw a tantrum

Is "The New Frontier" supposed to be like Negan and co?

"How many of my friends are dead because of you" YEAH HOW MANY NIECES ARE DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU

Francine is awful at running

(After the breach) I'm sure Tripp is regretting his decision in letting Javi and co in

Gabe why do you even have a gun you're going to end up shooting yourself

Oh man, Conrad wants to bury Francine just like how Gabe wants to bury Mari. I see you, similarities

Clem and Gabe chatting eh huehehuehuehueue

That underpass is conveniently trapped

JAVIER NO WHY ARE YOU GOING OFF ON YOUR OWN TO HUNT DOWN THAT NINJA

OH IT'S JESUS IS THAT JESUS

I bet the Jesus is the leader of the New Frontier

Yeah I don't trust new Jesus

Why is Jesus just skulking around stalking people?

Maybe it's just this voice actor but the somewhat-southern accent makes him sound kinda sketchy

Conrad you so cray

DAVID OH GEEZ

[thenerdytomboynewb96]

Samantha Allan Park Ch. #17

Any references to TMNT or anything from popular media and culture is NOT MINE. I only own my OC's.

Chapter #17

*Sunday June 22nd* *Theme: Porter Robinson and Madeon-Shelter*

“Whoaaa!” the turtles said as they watched Optimus prove his strength to Grimlock. Sam knew that the movie theater they were at closed early on Sundays, so she showed the guys how she usually snuck in and now for the first time the four brothers were watching a Hollywood movie up close on the big screen, and they couldn’t have asked for a more perfect first film: Transformers Age of Extinction. Out of her peripheral vision, Sam could see all the guys jaws drop when the Dinobots came charging in, literally crushing all the man-made Decepticons that crossed their path. 

It was 10:00 when the movie ended and the entire mall was now closed, so Sam thought it would be a fun idea to go on a walk with the guys, who obviously had never been to the mall before. 

Sam was currently with Leo in another antique store. He liked to look for antiques that represented Japanese culture, but him being the only ‘mature’ one, no one else wanted to look around the store (or any of the others he had chosen) so she joined him once again so that he wouldn’t be alone. At the moment he was looking at a tea set with Japanese Cherry Blossoms on them, but after so long he couldn’t stand Sam constantly staring at him. “Why don’t you just take a picture?” he said sarcastically. “Sorry I know it’s not funny, but you totally look like a grandpa who’s trying to pick out a traditional gift for his wife” she said with a smirk. “Is that why you keep following me around in these stores?” he asked as he placed the tea cups down and continued walking throughout the store. “Well I was trying to be nice and not have you shop alone, but I see that I’m not wanted” she pouted. Leo rolled his eyes. “Ahh, so you’re not trying to be annoying on purpose.” “You enjoy my company, don’t deny it!” she said as she pointed at him with a smile. Leo shrugged, but they both knew that this was very true. He had a feeling that his younger brothers would either complain or joke around too much in a store like this, so it was nice to have Sam around. She was someone who knew when to be serious and when to crack a joke, someone you could actually talk to without them teasing you when you share your thoughts.   He looked over and saw her laughing while holding a wooden umbrella with a paper top. “What am I missing that’s so funny?” he asked as he picked one up and looked at the stripped design when it opened up. “I was thinking of my older brother Brian. Everyone teased me about being Asian at heart since I’ve always been interested in Asian cultures. My other blood siblings were interested some, but never as much as I was. Before he even became my brother he would take me to places like this all the time, it kind of became this tradition between the two of us. I was thinking of this one time where he was holding umbrellas like this over his head and making the dorkiest faces” she said as she laughed. “Oh my god I’m literally laughing at things only I know about, I’ve become that person” she said with an embarrassed expression. Leo smiled at her as he thought back to what Donnie had said the other night. It might have just been a coincidence, but she said that Brian ‘would take me to places’ rather than saying ‘Brian takes me to places like this.’ Now that he had been looking out for this, he noticed that she definitely talked like this a lot. He decided to test this out. “Does Jay bring you to places like this?” “Sometimes. He never used to though. I think he saw that it was a fun little tradition between me and Brian, so I don’t think he wanted to interfere, but I don’t see Brian as much now, so I think that’s why every once in a while he’ll bring me to places like this.” “Ahh, I see.” She did it again. She said ‘it was’ and ‘he wanted’ as if this was all something of the past, rather than saying ‘he sees that it’s a fun tradition’ and ‘he doesn’t want to interfere.’ He wondered what all this meant, or if it meant anything at all. He wondered if it was something they all should be concerned about, but Sam seemed happy and content, so he decided that it was best to leave the subject alone until Sam brought this info to light on her own.

They walked around the store for another ten minutes and then headed out. They passed by a few stores and found Donatello in yet another electronics shop. “What did you find this time dorkatello?” Sam teased. He playfully glared at her. “I found donated phones. I’m looking at which ones are damaged really badly and which ones can be saved. I read online that the donated phones that can be saved are sent to U.S. troops overseas, so I don’t want to take those, I’m not that selfish. However, I will take the ones that are smashed up and can be re-wired so that I can use them for various things.” “Look at you. Not only looking out for the state, but also for the country” she said as she saluted to him. “That’s actually a cool idea” Leo said as he looked at some of the phones throughout the bin. “Find anything for Sensei?” Donnie asked as he looked up at his eldest brother. “Nah, nothing that he doesn’t already have.” “Gotcha. Well, I think I’m done with this store. I’m ready whenever you guys are.” The three then walked out of the store and found the remaining two brother’s at a cologne shop on the other side of the mall. They walked in and saw Mikey and Raph looking at various glass bottles. “Pfft.” Sam covered her mouth and tried not to laugh out loud. She thought it was hilarious seeing these two who usually acted so macho now testing all these colognes on the sample strips and discussing which scents they liked best. These two trying on cologne was the equivalent of two feminine sisters testing scents at Bath and Body works. The two boys looked over and glared at her, that’s when she turned towards Donnie. “Donatello! Don’t laugh at your brothers!” she said as she shoved his arm. “You know I’m taller and stronger than you, right?” he said as he took a step so that he now towered over her. “Is that a threat?” she said as she as pretended to be taken aback, though they both knew she was joking. He nodded and said “yeah” with a sincere smile, joining in on her joke. “Well, this is how I respond to threats!” she said as she leaped onto his back. Leo just stared at the two of them as they backed out of the store as they goofed off. “You’d never know that she was just looking through an antique store, or that she’s older than us.” Mikey laughed and Raph smiled, both at seeing Sam continue to show her true colors, and also at their nerdy brother let loose and have fun. Leo began looking at some of the bottles that lined the shelves. He had absolutely no idea what the scent of each liquid was since, well, no scent was stated on the front of the bottle. Curious, he picked up a bottle with light blue liquid inside, shrugged his shoulders, and sprayed a small amount in front of him. He took a sniff and then made a face of disgust. “Oh god, this stinks as bad as when Mikey found that Axe body spray pack and tried on each one at the exact same moment” Leo said, waving his hand in front of his face. Just then, Sam and Donnie had walked back in. Donnie began looking at bottles on the opposite wall and Sam had meant to walk past Leo to see what the other two had picked up, but she also stopped and made a face of disgust. “What did you do?” she asked, facing him with wide eyes. “Sprayed whatever this is” he said as he held up the bottle. Raph inspected the bottle in his brother’s hand. “You guys don’t like this? This is brand new!” “Well tell them to take it back” Sam said as she coughed. “You’re a girl, right? Aren’t you supposed to like when guys wear stuff like this?” Raph asked. “Sexist much?” He paused and then turned his head. “Donnie?” “Totally sexist dude” he said as he continued to look at bottles on the opposite wall. “Oh, heh, my bad” he said with an apologetic smile. “No problem” she chuckled with a smile. “Well I’m going anywhere that’s not here” she said with a wide smile. “I second that” Leo said as he followed behind. “Tch, they don’t get it” Mikey said as he nudged Raph, who nodded in agreement as they pulled on Donnie’s shoulder so that he would walk with them as they all followed Sam. They passed a few stores until Sam stopped, waiting for the guys reactions. “Ohhhhh!” “Whoaaaa!” each of them said as they all ran inside GameStop. “You’re welcome?” she said as she stared at the jaw dropped brothers. They all quickly turned towards her, said “thanks Sam!” and then continued looking throughout the store. Donnie was the closest, so she walked over and looked at the game he was looking at. “Awwwww I can’t wait until I get a copy of this” she said as she looked at the case for Transformers: Rise of the Dark Spark with a huge smile. “Only two more days and then I can start hacking systems to access this game” Donnie said, a huge smile also displayed on his face. “I’m still pissed Bumblebee doesn’t have a voice in the movies though. They should just leave the job to Johnny Bosch, for the games and the films. Like, he’s incredible when it comes to voice acting, and I’m not just saying that because he voices characters from some of my most favorite anime.”   “I wouldn’t mind that, his voice actually had a nice fit. Plus that would be a huge opportunity for him which he totally deserves.” Sam then turned around and saw Leo looking at a demo screen in the front of the store which was currently advertising a trailer for Titanfall. Leo’s eyes were glued to the screen as he watched a pilot battle his way through the Frontier and then begin commanding a Titan. “Gee Leo, sucks that you can’t take the game home, doesn’t it?” Sam smirked. “Right…I can’t take the game…because that would be stealing…yeah” Leo said as he slowly started backing away, but then was pulled back towards the screen. “Look what that Titan can do” he said in a calming voice as he smiled and started walking back towards the screen. That’s when Sam knew she had to interrupt his line of sight. “Okay, why don’t you go look over there?” she said as she fought to literally turn him around.  “I’m gonna look over there now” he said calmly as he also fought himself to finally turn away from the screen. He walked over to Raph and looked over his shoulder at the game in his hand. “Daylight?” Leo asked. “Yeah. It’s a survival horror game where you have to find object’s that explain the history behind the haunted hospital that you wake up in. I heard it got some negative reviews, but it sounds interesting.” “I didn’t know you were interested in horror games” Leo said. Raph shrugged. “I’m not interested in them, but this one sounded interesting. What do you have Mikey?” “BAM! Look at this beaut!” he said as he held out a copy of Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn. “Oooh!” Sam said as she ran over. “I remember seeing the trailers for this! I can’t wait to get a copy.” “Let me know as soon as you do!” “Well duh, I can’t play multiplayer by myself” she said, receiving a playful shove from her friend. “Well, I’m done looking at games, time to go play” she said as she walked out of the store. The guys watched her as she walked across the walkway to the other side of the mall, down some stairs, and then walk back over to the store that was below them. Mikey was the first to act as he walked over and jumped over the railing and from the second floor down to the first (for them this jump was nothing serious.) The remaining brothers decided that he must have enjoyed wherever it was that they went since he never came back, so they did the same thing and landed in front of the shop below the gaming store. Instantly they knew why Mikey hadn’t come back to signal them to come down, he was already running around throughout the arcade in front of them. All four brothers looked around at all the different games inside the rather large space. It seemed small from the outside, but once inside, spectators could see that the room continued to travel further and further back with more and more games. In order to prevent a lot of loud noise, the five decided to only turn on whatever game it was that they wanted to play at that time.

Donnie ventured out to find some speed games. He first found a game called Pop the Locks where a dial spins around and you have to press a button when the dial stops on the lock, and if you press the button after it’s moved past or before it hits the lock then you’re out. Sam and Mikey first moved to a game called The Shocker where you have to hold onto two handles as the vibration becomes stronger and stronger, and you lose if you let go. These two played this game until they momentarily couldn’t feel their hands, and then they convinced Donnie to play, and then they convinced all of them to play until everyone momentarily lost feeling in their hands. Sam and Mikey then freaked out when they saw Transformers and Walking Dead themed shooting games and both rushed over and immediately started playing, and while they played this, the other three brother’s found some pinball machines to play. Once the shooters completed their missions, Leo, Raph, and Mikey moved on to play more of the sporty games where they took shots on goal, threw basketballs through hoops, bowled to knock down pins, or threw baseballs and footballs in their hole. Sam didn’t care for games like these as much, so she stuck around with Donnie for a bit who went back to speed related games. The two played the electronic jump rope game, had to stack 3-D towers, (both by pressing buttons or by moving a square controller from side to side) had to use their fingers to maneuver through mazes, and had to land lights on the right spot to get wheels to spin. When the group came back together as a whole, they decided to play all the games that were based on apps. They pressed buttons to avoid green pipes when playing Flappy Bird, rolled a sphere controller when playing Temple Run, launched back their controllers to launch birds in the latest Angry Birds game, and swiped their hands across the screen when playing Fruit Ninja. They continued to split up and play various games, but the last two hours were spent with each other as a group of five. They found as many games as they could where they could all compete against each other in tournaments: air hockey, skeeball, racing games, back to sporty games, and even multiple rounds of DDR.

Most would see this as such a simple night of watching a movie at the theater, going shopping, and playing some games at the arcade, but for their own reasons, this was one of the best night of all five of their lives.

 *Wednesday June 25th, Madison Square Garden’s Arena, the Jumbo Tron* *Turtles POV*

The final buzzard went off and the game was over. The four turtles were cheering for the Knicks who had just won another game that season. “You know what a victory means?” Mikey asked. “Gee, what could that mean?” Donnie asked sarcastically, knowing exactly what his younger brother was about to say. “MORE PIZZA!!!” he shouted. “Ugh, how can you eat anymore? We ordered so many to begin with, and you even had some earlier before we left” Leo said as he held his stomach. He was full and wouldn’t be hungry again until sometime tomorrow afternoon, so how Mikey could still want food he would never understand. “I told you, his stomach is a black hole” Raph teased. “That or he’s an alien or something.” “Then Sam must be one to! Seriously, sometimes she can eat as much as I can!” “Doubt it.” “As scary as it is to admit, it’s true. I’ve seen it happen” Donnie said with a shudder. “Guys” Leo said as he nodded his head over towards Sam. The whole time they had been talking, Sam had been looking at something down below. Leo tried to follow what she was looking at without making it obvious, but he couldn’t figure out what her attention was focused on. She hadn’t moved, she hadn’t even blinked, she just stared down at something without any movement, like it had shocked her so much that she was now paralyzed. Without saying anything, she turned and swung herself back up to the walkways above their spot in the Jumbo Tron and she took off. “Sam, wait!” Mikey called. “Do we chase her?” Raph asked, concern and fear in his tone. He had no idea where she was going and if whatever she was about to do would risk either hers or their lives. “Don’t worry I can track her” Donnie said as he pulled out a small handheld GPS system from one of the pockets on the straps running down his chest. His fingers went to work and within seconds he knew where Sam was. “I tracked her by her cell phone, but…this shows that she’s still in the building…” “Mikey? Any idea what’s going on?” Leo asked as he faced his youngest brother. Mikey shook his head with a grave and somber look on his face. “I wish I knew.” “She’s on the move, and so are we” Donnie said as he started climbing back up to the walkways above them. “Where we goin?” Raph asked as he trailed behind Donnie. “She’s heading back outside, if we get to the roof then we might be able to spot her.” The four turtles rushed back up and through the walkways and then back up to the roof where they were walking along the sides of the top of the building. “Arghhh, there’s people everywhere! How are we supposed to find her?” Raph asked in frustration. “It says…she should be this way” Donnie said as he pointed towards the front of the building. There were crowds of people all over the place, both because of the game letting out, and also because this was New York during the summer. “FOUND HER!” Mikey shouted and pointed at a girl who had just run across to the other side of the street. They saw her run over to a group of six guys and then pull on the arm of a young Asian male within the group. “Mikey-” “I don’t know, she’s never really mentioned any guys outside from her soccer team. I mean, there were a few from dance and different clubs, but he doesn’t match any of the faces from any of the pictures. There were five main Asian guys she told me about and he’s not one of them.” “Is he the brother?” Donnie asked. “She said she had another Asian brother who was younger than Jay.” “That’s true, she said that he was far away and that’s why she could never see him” Mikey responded. “Unless that’s what she wants us to think. That or someone doesn’t want her to know the truth herself and those were the lies she was fed” Leo stated. “I don’t like this, feels like she’s still hiding things from us” Raph said in a bitter tone. He knew there were things she hadn’t told them yet about her family, and she had her right to her privacy, but this sneaky act worried him. If that was her brother, couldn’t she have just said that before she ran off? They watched Sam hug the man, and the group of guys walked off in one direction while she walked off in the other direction. She walked off towards a street that was oddly silent and vacant compared to the hustle and bustle outside the stadium. “Now where’s she going?!” Raph yelled. “Something’s wrong, we need to get to the sewers and get over there” Mikey said. Leo let his brother lead the way. Whenever Donnie or Raph knew more information about a criminal they were all chasing, or whatever the situation may be, he would let that brother take control and lead if it meant better chances of them completing their mission, but this was the first time Mikey had EVER taken the lead in a chase. This proved to Leo how serious this was and he followed Mikey in whatever directions he gave.

It took about twenty minutes for them to travel underground after tracking Sam’s movements. Once they caught up to her location, Mikey didn’t hesitate to climb up, toss of the manhole cover above him, and rush over to Sam. “Sam!” he shouted as he ran over to where Sam was walking. She didn’t respond. He quickened his pace and as he was about to lightly grab her arm and talk to her, Raph had already caught up to him. “HEY SAM. Remember us?!” Now that there was a 6 ft. turtle in front of her, Sam stopped walking. Raph’s expression softened as he stared at the girl in front of him. Her eyes looked so frail and glassy, and her hands were shaking like he had never seen before. “…I came to the game with you guys…right…my bad” she said with the fakest smile. Usually only Mikey could tell when her smiles were sincere or fake, but her acting was so off point that all the brothers knew something was wrong. “Did that guy do something?” Raph asked. “No” “…that’s it?” “…what?” The boy’s worry continued to grow. Even though she was standing right in front of them, it was like Sam couldn’t hear a thing. Something was obviously on her mind, but getting her to explain what exactly that something was would be the hard part.   Right as Leo was about to ask if the guy she chased after was her brother, Sam cut him off. “It’s late, so I’m gonna head home, alone.” At this point she spoke without using her fake smile, and she went back to displaying her glassy eyed and twitchy expression. She had already started walking off before the guys could speak, and they weren’t really sure what to do in this situation.

“So, do we ignore this as a girl thing? Or do we look into it and assume it’s a Sam thing?” Raph asked. “We call April. She’s the only other female we know, and one of the three humans we know, plus she’s a reporter and is trained to read people’s expressions. Hopefully she can help us figure out what to do. We’ll go back underground while we call her.” Leo said. Donnie and Raph started heading back towards the sewer hole, but Leo had to go over and wake Mikey up from his daze. “Mikey? You alright?” “No” he replied bluntly. Leo put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’re going to figure this out, okay?” Mikey paused for a moment. “Should I have gone after her? Should any of us have gone after her?” he said as he continued to face forward. “I wish I knew. I’m just as new to girls and humans in general as you are bro. But if she needs someone to go after her, then you’ll be the one” Leo said with a small smile. This also lead to a small smile forming on Michelangelo’s face as well, and the two turtles then walked back towards the sewer hole to hear what Donnie and Raph had been discussing with April.

*Sam POV* *Themes: Linkin Park-Nobody Can Save Me Linkin Park-One More Light Trading Yesterday-Shattered Skilet-Would It Matter

She happened to catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye, but now she lost him. The guys continued to cheer as the game continued on, but Sam and her thoughts were long gone. She saw him, she knew for a fact that she just saw Brian. It had to be him, the boy she saw looked exactly like him at the age of 17. THERE. She found him and continued to keep her eyes on him. “Bzzzzzzz,” that was the final buzzard. No, it couldn’t be the end of the game now, not yet, not when she had finally found her brother. He left four years ago and finally she had found him. She watched him head to the exit on her right and without hesitation she darted out and up through the walkway they used to enter the Jumbo Tron. She sprinted to a point along the walkways that led to a ladder that lead to the top floor where the highest seats in the arena were. She climbed down the ladder and then ran through crowds of people to the right side of the building where she had seen the boy exiting the arena. She had seen him in the upper level seats, but now he was nowhere to be found, so she ran to the staircase and sprinted down the steps. She made her way to the lobby and walked as quickly as she could all over the place. Her heart felt like it was about to burst out of her chest because of everything that she was feeling and thinking. Emotions that she had finally pushed and shoved under the rug were now forcing their way back out and flying up and hitting her like a brick. Her hands were shaking like crazy and for the first time she heard how loud she was breathing. She felt like she was running around in circles and she didn’t know what to do.  After what felt like years of searching, she caught another glimpse of him and his five other friends. Once again she was on the move as she chased after the boy. She thought of nothing but catching up to Brian and asking him questions, so many questions. Why did he leave her? Why did he do what he did? Why had it taken him four years to visit her? Her heart beats increased as her breathing grew louder and louder. She ran out of the building and saw him head for the cross walk. “Brian!” she called out. A few heads turned since it was a common name, but not the head that she wanted to. “Brian! BRIAN!” She slowly got closer and closer to where he was walking, but he never turned towards her. She couldn’t understand why he was ignoring her, but now was the time to find out. She finally caught up to the boy and yanked on his arm, forcing him to turn around and look at her. “Whoa! What the hell is your problem?” the boy said as he and his friends turned around. “My problem? I’ve been calling you for the longest time! You didn’t hear me calling your name?” she asked in an enraged tone. “All I heard was some girl calling after some guy named Brian, so sorry if I couldn’t hear you over that.” She paused and gave him a confused expression. “So you did hear me? Why were you ignoring me then? Explain yourself!” “Explain what?” the boy asked, looking both nervous and confused. “Why did you risk your life for me that night? And I’ve been waiting for a sign from you, from all of you! Why did it take you so long to contact me?!” “Look crazy lady you need to back up! I don’t know who Brian is but he’s not me” he said as he put his hands up in defense and as his friends began to lightly laugh at the strange girl standing in front of them. “What are you talking…about…?” And that’s when she realized, it wasn’t him. Everything made sense and reality slapped her in the face harder than the forced out emotions she had just experienced mere minutes to seconds ago had. She realized that this man had blue eyes instead of brown. She realized that this man seemed as tall as Jay, whereas Brian was about a foot or so shorter. She realized that this man had visible muscle, whereas Brian had natural muscle that could only be seen when he flexed. She realized that, when seen up close, this man had a light brown tint to his hair, and Brian had never made any changes to his natural black hair. She realized that their hairstyles were different, she realized she had never seen this group of friends, she realized his clothes stated he was rooting for the wrong team. Sam realized that this couldn’t be Brian, because Brian was dead.

Her jaw slowly dropped and she felt so stupid and embarrassed. “Oh my god…I’m…I’m so sorry. Um, can I explain myself before you all continue to think I’m crazy?” she asked. “Uh sure, go for it.” “I have a few adopted siblings, one of them being an Asian male obviously named Brian, and um…he passed away about four years ago. So from afar, you really, really, look like him. Up close I can now see the differences, but from afar you looked like his twin. I just…I haven’t seen him in so long” she said as a choked sob slipped out as she spoke. “I’m so sorry for chasing you like this-” “Stop” the boy said. He walked up to her and gave her a sincere smile. “For one, I’m honored that I look like your brother, I’m sure he was a handsome man.” This got Sam to give a small smile as she sensed that he was trying to lighten the mood and lessen the awkward tension from before. “And two, I’m so sorry that you lost him, and the next time someone comes running up to me the way you just did, I’ll be a lot more considerate as to why they’re doing it. Sorry for calling you crazy.” She shook her head. “You don’t have to apologize, I’m sure I would have been weirded out if a stranger came running up to me like that as well. That’s the first time that’s ever happened actually.” “I wish I could answer all your questions. What did he do anyway, did he save you in a car accident or something?” the boy asked. “Yeah, something like that.” It wasn’t exactly like that, but he did risk his life to save hers, they all did. Jay just got lucky and so did she, unlike the others. “If it means anything,” the boy continued, “the fact that you saw someone who looks so much like your brother might still be a sign from him. Maybe there’s something he wanted to you think about when seeing me, well him, you know? Or maybe he’s trying to test you somehow.” “Yeah, maybe so.” Her small smile grew a bit more on her face. That actually sounded like Brian who was always testing her and finding ways to playfully trick her. “Thanks for this, I’ll leave you guys be.” “Wait” he said as he reached his arms out. “I know I’m not your brother, but I can hug you like I’m him, unless that’s weird.” She gave a small laugh and hugged the boy. “Is there anything we can do to help you? Even a ride home or anything?” some of the other guys started asking with sincerity in their tones. Sam pulled back from the hug. “No thanks, besides I need to go catch up with my oldest brother.” “Hope you find your brother’s meaning” the boy said with a smile, and Sam and the group of boys parted ways.

As soon as she knew she was alone, her smile quickly faded back to her cold frown. She noticed that her hands were shaking again, and now that she was by herself, dark thoughts started racing through her mind. The memories she had been fighting for so long to forget were all coming back. She had to get home, she wanted no one other than Jay who knew and understood what she was feeling because he was there the night that everything happened. She couldn’t tell anyone about the Foot attack that night. It was too hard to talk about and it was too personal, and she had to truly 110% trust someone with her life in order to tell the full truth about this. She also just wanted to be alone. The world had cast her out after what happened. When she needed people most, they all vanished. Her closest childhood friends separated themselves from her and left her all alone. She was alone, and that’s how she had taught herself to deal with her problems. She would bottle things up within herself and she wouldn’t talk to anyone, since no one wanted to hear about it anyway, and knowing that no one wanted to hear about it, this was why she could only tell someone that she trusted her life with, and that person was Jay. He was never around though, so that lead her back to keeping everything to herself, back to her being alone. Friends were gone, and since Jay was basically always working, her whole family was gone. Everyone was gone and she was alone. Always alone, and that’s how it would always be. “HEY SAM. Remember us?!” Sam stopped once she realized that there was a 6ft. turtle yelling at her as he stood in her path. She wondered how they knew where she was when she remembered that she was with them at the game before everything happened. “…I came to the game with you guys…right…my bad” she said as she fought her hardest to fake a smile without crying, but she could tell they all knew just how fake her expression was. “Did that guy do something?” Raph asked. “No.” “Leave me alone” she thought. “…that’s it?” “…what?” “I want to be alone. Just let me leave” she thought to herself. Ever since that night, she was always alone, especially when she was upset. When people ditched her because she was broken, she learned to handle anything that upset her on her own. She didn’t want to be around anybody but her brother, and as much as she loved these guys, they weren’t her actual brothers. They didn’t know the things that Jay knew and she wasn’t ready to tell them. She knew they would want to ask her questions about what just happened and she didn’t want to answer those questions, so she bailed before anyone else could speak.

“It’s late, so I’m gonna head home, alone” she said bluntly. She couldn’t fight any longer and she felt the tears in her eyes, so she walked away and prayed that they would leave her alone. She rounded a corner and she didn’t hear anything behind her, so she knew she was okay. She felt guilty for keeping secrets from them, especially from Mikey, but…she just wasn’t ready. She loved that she wasn’t trapped inside her room anymore and that she actually had somewhere to go with people that cared about her, but it was still so soon. She had dropped some hints about her past with her siblings, which was huge for her to do even that, like how she told Raph that the sais belonged to Chuck. Jesus talking about Chuck at all was a huge deal for her. And that was the thing, her four green friends, April, Splinter, without knowing it, they were all pulling her out of a deep well that she had fallen into and had been trapped in for years. Within each of them she had found pieces of a puzzle that she had lost for so long, but seeing Brian like that was the equivalent of knocking that puzzle to the floor and shattering it into a million little pieces. She felt herself falling back into that well that she had taken so long to climb out of.

She felt that no matter who came along, no matter what changes or gains came into her life, she would never be able to escape from the horrors of the past. She could see clones of Brian every day, but that didn’t change the fact that he was gone. It didn’t matter that she taught Leo and Raph to cook the way Brian taught her, it didn’t matter that Leo liked antiques like Brian or that Donnie quizzed her the way Brian did, or that Mikey played videogames with her the same way Brian did, he was and always would be gone. It was the same for all of them. No matter what qualities her new friends had that reminded her of her family members, they were all gone. And as she thought of this, their final breaths played over and over again in her head. She saw all of them, remembered where they were and what they were doing before the events that lead to their deaths. She could hear their conversations and could see their smiling faces before they turned into teary eyed expressions that screamed in terror. She remembered everything, including how they died. The sequence of events stayed on replay. Over and over she mentally watched the horrors of that night.

Sam collapsed against the side of the wall and slid down until she was sitting on the ground. She couldn’t do anything about it. No matter how happy she had become, one small moment had broken and destroyed her, and now she would have to start back over from scratch. She was scared, and alone. At this point she didn’t care if a criminal came and attacked her in any way. She was lost in the darkness of her thoughts and nothing could pull her out, at least that’s what she thought.

“Sam?” she heard a gentle voice ask. She thought she was imagining things and sat still, until she felt someone hold her shaking hands. “I’ve never seen your hands shake like this before” the voice said as it took her hands into his. She slowly turned her glassy eyes towards the voice and saw none other than her best friend kneeling down next to her. “I told you I wanted to be alone” she mumbled, choking out her words in her sobs. She hadn’t even realized she was crying with tears streaming down her face because she had been so lost in her thoughts. In fact, she didn’t even know where it was she had been walking. These thoughts halted once she realized Mikey was there, and she could now tell that her cheeks were soaked from her tears. “I know, but I really wanted to go after you, though I wasn’t sure if it was a girl reason or a Sam reason that you were acting the way you were. But regardless I didn’t like that you were heading towards a lone street by yourself at this hour. Anyway, we called April and she said that when girls say they want to be left alone, then usually they want to be chased after by someone they care about. She also said that in general that someone should at least watch over you to make sure you were safe, so that’s what I’m doing. I’m sorry if I’m making you more upset by being here…but I couldn’t leave you alone.” Sam stared at him, just straight up stared at him for the longest time. She had a hard time processing that someone actually gave a shit. Not because she asked them to and not because they needed something, but because they truly and genuinely just gave a shit about her. She wanted to be alone because everyone had left her that way and she believed that that was how she handled these situations best, but…was that what she really wanted? Or had she forced that thought into her mind because everyone had left her by herself for so long? She thought that she would hate it if someone followed her and that she needed to handle this alone, but she was wrong about herself. She was happy, and for the first time ever, she had begun to cry happy tears along with the sad ones. “Thank you” she said as tears streamed down her face. Mikey gave her a light smile and gently pulled her over. He sat cross legged as Sam now sat in his lap, the back of her head against his chest as he lightly rested his chin on the top of her head. He wrapped his arms around his friend and hugged her, and she held onto the hands wrapped around her even tighter. “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it. It’s your life and your business, so you talk whenever you’re ready. If that’s never, then so be it.” For the first time ever, Sam wanted to talk. She wanted to tell him everything, but she was also very scared. She had never talked about these things with anyone without being forced to do so. She decided that she would reveal some of the truth, and that gradually she would start revealing things to Mikey when the time was right. No one had ever cared until he came along. She felt like her presence was wanted when he was around and that he truly cared about what was wrong with her. “I thought I saw my brother tonight, but it turned out to be someone else. From afar that guy really looked like my brother Brian.” “So you chased after him thinking he came home without telling you?” “Yeah, but it wasn’t him…I just miss him so much” she said through sobs. “I understand. If Leo had disappeared for such a long period of time and then I caught him casually hanging around town, I know I’d lose my cool. I’d have so many questions to ask him, so many things I would just want to scream at him.” Sam smiled a bit and turned her head some towards him. “Can you take me to my house?” “Of course” he replied with a smile. “Can you spend the night?” she asked. “Sorry, I don’t sleep over on the first date” he teased. “Asshole,” she said as she rolled her eyes and chuckled, something she never thought she’d be able to do in this situation. But that was the power of Michelangelo. Whether she was hurt, hyper, confused, scared, angry, or even hungry, no matter what her attitude was and where her thoughts were sending her, he always brought her back down to earth. It was like he attached a bungee cord to her back and made sure she bounced back up after falling into her well of emotions. Whenever her puzzle pieces broke, he just glued them back together again. Even now at her lowest and weakest moment, he was there. She thought he wouldn’t be, and yet here he was, proving her wrong. Now that she realized just how much she wanted and needed to have him by her side, and as she jumped onto his back so that he could carry her home, she mentally vowed that she would never let go of their friendship and that she would keep him as close as possible until she finally felt ready to tell him the complete and honest truth. Not only because of her feeling comfortable enough to do so, but because at that point she would feel safe enough to know he wouldn’t leave her alone ever again, not even after hearing of the horrors she had experienced in the past.

 *Monday June 30th, Donnie’s Lab* *Theme: Skrux-Escapade*

Donnie couldn’t believe all the equipment Sam had helped him get his hands on. She had asked Jay if he could help her get her hands on any and all old medical equipment that any of his friends could give away because it had broken or had malfunctioned, and her reasoning was that it was for her friends older brother who needed it for some projects because he wanted to become a future medical student himself (which in certain senses was true). Because of this, Donnie had received tons of different equipment that he could only dream of getting his hands on. He now had various medical monitors that could monitor a person’s vital signs, lab equipment to analyze things like blood, genes, dissolved gases, etc. He had diagnostic medical equipment, therapeutic devices, the list of devices he had and their uses went on and on. That night Donnie had asked Sam if she wanted to help him set up the med lab now that he had enough equipment to actually get a work station set up, and of course she agreed to join him. As they set devices up around the room, the two talked about multiple different things that Donnie was never able to talk to his brothers about. The two discussed a variety of topics: physics, chemistry, biochemistry, mathematics, biology, psychology, astronomy, microbiology, statistics, sociology, neuroscience, economics, philosophy, history, the list went on and on. Donnie was able to discuss many of these topics amongst his brothers and April, but he had never talked about them quite as in depth as he was now. It had been made obvious numerous times that Sam wasn’t as intelligent as Donnie, but she was definitely close and overall very open-minded. After hours had flown by, the topics switched away from math and sciences to social studies, and then to religion, and then to literature, and then to music, which then lead them to start talking about more media related topics like modern music, movies, games, etc. They went from talking about video games to then talking about their favorite You Tube gamers. “See what I love most about Vanoss is that he’s comical like the rest of the guys in the group, but he’s also the most strategic. For example, whenever he plays Gmod Hide and Seek or Gmod Prop Hunt, he always finds the best hiding spots that people would never think of, but then he messes with their heads when he does things like ‘operation bigfoot’” Sam stated as she worked on the wiring of an infusion pump. “It’s hilarious when he does that. Oh, I love when he literally hides in the walls. He takes advantage of every glitch he can find” Donnie said as he closed a drawer filled with carefully cleaned and maintained surgical instruments. “After Vanoss, I’d have to say that Nogla and Delirious are my favorites. I love that they get picked on by their friends in literally every video, but they just roll with it. They can take a joke, and because of that their friends are able to tease the heck out of the two of them, and honestly that just makes the videos even funnier. Do you actually plan on using those tools?” she asked curiously as she glanced at a table with some tools used when performing serious surgeries. “God I hope not! I’ve watched a ridiculous amount of videos on what they’re used for and how to use them, and I’ve had some minor experience-” “When did you have experience using surgical tools?” Sam cut in, her eyes wide. “Ummm, you have to keep it between us, okay?” “Got it! Your secret is safe with me!” “For the past…I want to say the past 6 years, if I ever found some really beat up strays on the streets, I would do my best to save them. I mean, no one else was going to try and help them, so I thought my help was better than just leaving them to rot in the streets, and I actually helped save each animal that I found.” Sam titled her head to the side. “Why do I have to keep that a secret?” “Because stray animals could have diseases or could be rabid, that and where I found them wasn’t always exactly in the shadows. Those two things equal danger, and because of that I knew my brothers and Sensei would never have allowed me to do what I had been doing, so I’ve been hiding this from them for 6 years now. Yup.” Sam dramatically held her hand to her chest. “Why Donatello! You, you have a secret that you keep from your family? You’re not the innocent nerd that everyone thinks you are?” “Ha ha” he said dryly, “I’m still a person. Everyone has secrets, even the good kids” he said as he held his hands when quoting ‘the good kids.’

Joking aside, he was happy to see Sam cracking jokes again. It had been 5 days since Sam’s emotional episode after the basketball game and none of them were sure how to handle the situation. They all wanted to know what had happened, but they knew that coming straight out and asking her questions would get them nowhere. April had told them that letting her talk when she was ready and just acting like everything was normal was the best way to react to the situation, so that’s what they did. For two days Sam stayed away from the lair and only left her home when she needed to. The only person she talked to outside of her home was Mikey, and that was only to respond to his occasional updates to make sure she was okay. On day three Sam had asked Mikey to come over to her apartment to hangout that night, and by the next morning she had tried visiting the lair. The boys followed April’s advice and acted normally and successfully hid their worry. Because of this, Sam was quickly able to return to her regular routines and habits when hanging out with the guys, including now where she was making sarcastic comments and teasing Donnie.

As the two continued to work and set things up throughout the med wing, Donatello’s attention was pulled away from the machine he was working on and was drawn to the small television he had set up in the room (in case anyone were ever so badly injured that they might have to spend a few nights in the room) as the screen displayed a commercial about the latest exhibits at the Natural History Museum. Sam noticed that Donnie had stopped working, and as she looked over at him to make sure that he was alright, she could see in his expression how badly he wanted to visit the museum. “What’s wrong E.T.? Troubles phoning home?” she moved on to fixing a smaller x-ray device. “*sigh* I would love to go there” Donnie replied. “Well you’ve imprinted, so go” she replied, still working on the device. He turned towards her and gave her an odd look. “To the museum?” “Your precious” she said as she faced him with wide eyes as she ran her fingers against each other. “I volunteer you as tribute.” She then turned back towards the device. “Pfft, not possible” he said as he pouted and flopped down in his swivel chair. “What? You lost your invisibility cloak?” “Heh, no. I just wish we there was a way where I could buy tickets even as a 6’8 turtle” he chuckled. “I find your lack of faith disturbing” she said with a serious tone as she looked at him with a disappointed and dull expression. “And I think you watch to many movies” he replied with a smile. “That is extremely true, but not the point! If you want to go to the museum, then let’s just go” she said as she started walking towards the exit. “You know a way to sneak in?” he asked. “Do you know me?” she asked sarcastically. “Do you know breaking and entering is illegal?” “Do you know how annoying you are?” “That’s my line.” “Well I beat you to it which means I win! So FIELD TRIP! C’mon Erudite! Let’s escape this maze and find your cure!” she exclaimed as she practically skipped out of the lab. “You have way too much time on your hands if you’ve watched every major movie series” Donnie announced with a laugh (which earned him a playfully shove) as he followed the girl. He liked that there was never a dull moment with his new friend and was interested in how their ‘field trip’ would play out tonight.

Everyone else was in their rooms at the time, so the two just walked out of the lair and up to the rooftops of the buildings above. Of course, since Donnie was one of the more mature of the group, he made sure that he had his shell cell with him in case there was an emergency and his brothers needed to contact him, though he’d be a liar if he said that checking his phone periodically was on his mind once he got to the museum. After they had completed all their needed hacking so that they could sneak into the building, Sam had exposed an entrance from a vent on the roof that lead to the attic storage of the building, and once they had cleared this part of the break in, they were free to explore all the current exhibits that the museum had to offer.

Donnie wasn’t sure where to start. They had exhibits on dinosaurs, the latest studies on health and the human body, missions from Earth to other planets, looking through the eyes of Einstein, and so many more. Donnie wasn’t sure where to begin, but his choice was determined by the teen who was mentally a five year when she wanted to be. “Dinosaurs. Let’s go to see the dinosaurs. I want to see dinosaurs” Sam said over and over again until finally her friend agreed, and within seconds Sam was rushing over to see the exhibits about the dinosaurs with Donnie following behind her. They learned about how studies have shown that some current bird species may have come from dinosaurs that changed and evolved over tens of millions of years (and of course Sam had to take pictures in the giant modeled nests because Sam was Sam). The two then moved to the interactive exhibits that discussed the microbiome-where bacteria is living in and on us, how the bacteria’s are obtained and how they can offer new perspectives on how to deal with health problems like allergies, asthma, and obesity. Afterwards, they moved on to the next exhibit about foods from around the world. The two learned about how various foods were grown, traded, prepared, etc. They read through some of the first made cook books throughout history and even got to prepare their own virtual meals at the interactive cooking table, and of course the two had fun coming up with the weirdest dishes they could think of.

The two moved on from exhibit to exhibit, looking at everything and participating in every interactive activity they could find. Since they were the only two there, they moved through each exhibit rather quickly, and after a few hours they were ready to leave the museum. Since the two had been talking about scientific research for the past few hours, they decided to talk more casually on their walk home, and while doing so, Donnie noticed Sam staring at his left shoulder. “Why don’t you take a picture?” “…what?” Sam asked with a smile. Donnie rolled his eyes. “What are you staring at anyway?” “I’m trying to find your tattoo, and I’m failing at doing so.” His eyes widened a bit. “You know about that?” “Yup!” “Let me guess, Mikey?” “Yup again!” “Tch, you tell each other everything, don’t you?” “Well, yes and no. We talk about a lot of things, and I think it’s safe to say that he knows more about me than anyone else, but we both have our boundaries. He told me there’s certain stories about all four of you that will forever stay only between you four. He’s made that very clear.” Donnie laughed. “Well it’s good to know he’s still the best at keeping secrets and people’s private lives private.” He then looked over and squinted his eyes at his friend when he heard her try to hide a small laugh. “What’s so funny?” “Nothing” she said as she quickly shook her head and smiled, “just, of course I’m curious as to what happened to you guys that you’ve all sworn to secrecy that you won’t ever tell anyone about it…oh but that could also mean moments where your lives were in danger and that’s why you’re keeping it secret. Just kidding it’s not funny anymore” she said as she made a serious face. “Honestly it’s a mix of both, but more so things you would find funny, so you’re good.” “Oh? Are you going to be the one to spill the details?” she teased as she nudged him in the side. “Heck no! Especially since they’re not all about me. All three of my brother’s would kill me if I gave away even the smallest amount of information.” “I guess tattoos aren’t part of those secrets then, since they’re all extremely visible on all of you, well except for you, but you get the point.” “Oh, I can show you mine, if you want.” “Yes. I need proof, especially since you don’t seem like someone who would let anything pierce and possibly damage your body.” “Oh no I hated getting this thing with a burning passion, but I liked that this was a symbol that linked our family together, so I agreed to let Raph make a small print on my shoulder.” As he talked, he took off his brown shoulder pad on his left shoulder, revealing a black inked tattoo of a turtle shell that looked to be about the size of his hand. Sam chuckled. “Yup, yours is definitely the smallest print” she teased with a smile. “Hey! At least I have one! I can take credit for sitting through the pain of getting one!” “Did it hurt that bad?” “…no, but it makes me look cooler if it seems that I sat through something painful. You know, like I was macho enough to deal with the pain.” Sam laughed. “Okay one, don’t say ‘macho’ if you want to act cool. Two, I’m pretty sure you were mentally being tortured the entire time you were sitting there, so you still own that badass image from putting up with your own thoughts.” He nodded his head and shrugged his shoulders. “Eh, I’ll take it. So, do you like tattoos?” he asked as he put his shoulder pad back on. Sam quickly shook her head. “Oh, really?” “Yeah, I mean there’s nothing wrong with them, and I don’t have anything against people that like and have them, I just personally don’t care for them. I feel like they can be dangerous if you go somewhere sketchy, and unless I have a specific meaning behind the tattoo I’m getting, I don’t think it’s worth the pain or the risks of getting one.” Donnie decided to take a risk when asking his next question. “Do you think you and your siblings would ever get matching tattoos? You know, like how my family has a symbol that unites us. Would you and your siblings ever do that?” Sam paused, but Donnie could tell by her facial expressions that her pause was to think about what he had just asked rather than her spacing out from her emotions like she had nights before. “Honestly, I can’t see ALL my siblings being interested in something like that. We’ve had matching accessories though. We all had necklaces with an initial pendant attached to the chain. The pendant was black and the initials were in whatever our favorite color was, so my ‘S.A.P’ was green over black, and it looked awesome!” she exclaimed with a smile. Donnie noticed it again, that she was talking about her siblings in the past tense. He so badly wanted to ask her why she had continued this habit, but he saw how happy she was as she talked about her siblings and he didn’t want to rob her of her happiness, so instead he continued on with the conversation.

As the two walked back to the lair, they continued to talk about their families and what it was like to have so many siblings. They found it interesting how they had shared so many similar experiences since they were both the second to youngest out of all their siblings. They both experienced being treated as the baby of the group and everyone felt the need to look over them even though they were capable of taking care of themselves, and how even though people treated them like kids (at one time) they were still expected to act like adults at the same time because they had another sibling who was younger than them. They swapped stories back and forth until they got back to the lair, and when they returned to their familiar territory, they decided to keep working on the med lab since they both still had so much energy left. They worked for another couple hours until Sam was so tired that she started losing control of her balance. At that time, Donnie helped her walk back to his lab where he had his spare bed. He didn’t have to worry about her being comfortable since she collapsed on the bed as soon as she saw it, and within seconds she was sound asleep. Donnie covered her with a blanket and left her to sleep.

As he walked back to his room, he reminisced about everything he had learned at the museum, but then suddenly his mind reminded him of the night that Sam had entered his lab when, at the time, he didn’t want her taking one step in his lab aka his sacred space. He remembered how furious he was that she had snuck into the lab and how he acted towards her, and how upset she was because she thought that he hated her (and at that time, she was almost right in assuming that.) The memory dropped a lot of guilt on the turtle’s shoulders. He felt horrible that he ever treated her that way, especially after days like today where she was the only person who could connect with him in ways that the rest of his family couldn’t. There was one thing that cheered him up though, and that was how his attitude and actions towards the girl had changed over time. The night of his memory where he stated that he didn’t hate her, those words were the first ‘nice’ things he had ever said to her, and that same night he vowed that he would at least attempt to treat her better, not only for her sake, but also in respect for Mikey since Sam and Mikey had obviously become very close friends even that early on. Donnie smiled as he thought of all the happier moments that not only he, but that all his brother’s had shared with Sam. He was glad that she didn’t give up on them and that she kept finding ways to get them to talk to her, like the night she had tricked Leo into getting upset and making her fight with Raph, and he was glad that he and his brother’s had all eventually tried to get along with and try to get to know the girl as well. As time went on, she became more like a sister to the boys rather than just a friend, and Donnie was grateful to have her around as the newest addition to their family.

*Wednesday July 2nd*

It was around 1 a.m. when Mikey felt a presence enter his room. He had been sleeping on his right side and was facing the wall, so he couldn’t see who it was that had entered his room and shut the door, but he had a good idea that he knew who it was: Sam. He continued to lie still though, just in case it wasn’t her. He couldn’t list how many times his brother’s had snuck into his room to pull pranks on him at all hours of the day and night, but it was okay since he had done the same to all of them, but he was also staying still in case it happened to be a burglar from the Foot clan. Ever since the Foot had found their first home, the boys were always on edge when they heard noises at times when it was completely silent.

As he lie still and thought of who it might have been that entered his room, he felt the motion of someone crawl into bed with him. They didn’t touch him or move around much, they just got into the bed and lie still underneath the covers. At this point he was pretty confident that it was just Sam who had fallen asleep on the couch earlier, so he paid no mind to this, not until he heard a light sob. It was silent after that, but a few minutes later he heard it again. It sounded like she was crying but fighting her hardest not to let it be known.

Mikey quickly turned on the small lamp next to his bed and turned over to see that it was Sam who had crawled into his bed. She was laying on her left side so that he was now facing her back. “Sam…Sam, why are you crying?” he asked gently. She didn’t speak, but instead shook her head to show that she didn’t want to talk. Mikey knew that was total bull and knew that there was something she wanted him to know, or else she would have gone somewhere to hide and be alone rather than come straight to his room. Knowing this, he carefully pulled her towards him. He lay down and held her from behind, his arms wrapped protectively around her. “Does it have anything to do with you thinking you saw your brother the other day?” She paused and then slowly nodded her head. “I had a dream about him. It felt real, and then I woke up…” she couldn’t speak since tears had begun to pour out from her eyes again. Mikey held onto her a bit tighter. His heart hurt as he listened to his friend quietly cry for the longest time. She was always so happy and full of smiles whenever they were together, which made seeing her this way, so broken and emotionally torn down, so difficult and heartbreaking  for him. “I can’t say I understand what you’re going through, because I’ve always had my brothers by my side, but I can say that I know I’d be lost without them. Having the people that have always been a room away suddenly disappear for so long would emotionally and mentally kill me. I’m so, so sorry you’ve been alone for so long, but we won’t let you feel that way ever again, I’ll never let you feel that way ever again.” As soon as the words left his lips, Sam turned over and lay down facing him, her face now buried in his chest. A small smile appeared on Mikey’s face as he continued to hold his friend close, one hand resting against her back and the other gently running through the girl’s hair. He let his chin lightly rest on top of her head as he heard her sobs slowly fade out. He held her close until he knew for sure that she had drifted off to sleep, and once he knew that she was okay, he finally allowed himself to fall asleep as well.

He knew that he could never replace her brothers that were now living far away because he knew that no one would ever be able to replace his brothers if they ever moved far away. Still, he wanted to do everything he could to see Sam smile instead of frown, to see her laugh instead of cry, to see her fall asleep because she had had an exhausting day of fun activities instead of falling asleep from her tears. He vowed that he would stay by his best friend’s side as much as he possibly could, not to replace her brother, but to help bring back the fun and joyful memories that she had of spending time with him, and to create new memories that would help tuck away the all the bad ones.  

[huiswerkpeo-blog]

4th Wave Feminism

IN A GENERATION WHERE THE WORDS “FEMINISM” and “feminist” are the most polarizing “f-words,” gender issues and the fight for equality continue to be at the forefront of cultural dialogue. Today some women unblinkingly refer to themselves as feminists, while others prefer to not label themselves for a myriad of reasons. Yet when it’s broken down, they are “of course” all for equal pay, equal rights in the workplace, and equal numbers of women in power positions. While “feminism,” or how it is colored for today’s generation, conjures up images of smoking bras and half-shattered glass ceilings, the push for gender equality is still alive outside the word itself, with actress Emma Watson leading the charge for what is being called “Millenial Feminism.” This new wave of feminism is led by a host of energetic, boundary-challenging young women who are anything but “your mother’s feminists” and who are tackling, using practical and tangible solutions, the issues today’s crop of women face as they continue to fight for parity.

Emma Watson who was recently appointed the U.N. Women Goodwill Ambassador, became the face of the new feminist movement with her #HeforShe initiative to get boys and men involved in the push for gender equality. She has already received an overwhelming amount of support; everyone from Desmond Tutu to Hillary Clinton to Yoko Ono to Prince Harry have come out for the #HeforShe coalition, and its petition – through its online initiative – has received 404,111 signatures from men and boys around the world. The hashtag itself has been used over 1.2 billion times on Twitter. At the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland on January 23, 2015 in front of world leaders and press, Watson announced IMPACT 10x10x10 as the next phase in the #HeforShe campaign. She said, “One of the biggest pieces of feedback I’ve had since my speech is that men and women want to help but they aren’t sure how best to do it. Men say they’ve signed the petition. ‘What now?’ What can we practically do to end gender inequality? As feminists, what do we actually do?”

We are currently in the throes of the feminism’s fourth wave. The first wave occurred around the turn of the 19th century and focused on women’s suffrage and disenfranchisement. The second took root in the 1960s, addressing social issues ranging from reproductive rights to workplace equality. The third wave fomented in the 1990s and broadened the boundaries of feminism’s theoretical underpinnings in an effort to abolish existing notions of gender expectations. It reclaimed lipstick and high-heeled feminine sexuality, focused more attention on rights of the LGBT community and “non-white” women, and saw the beginnings of the sex-positive movement. This brings us to today’s fourth wave, which has been ushered in by the boundless possibilities presented by digital media platforms and is promoted by a crop of young millennials who can reach millions of people through online mobilization and hashtag activism.

So what is fourth wave feminism? The answer is two-fold. First it is a human rights movement that advocates for women’s equality. Sound familiar? Perhaps. The fourth wave addresses fundamental older issues in a modern context, namely equal pay, reproductive rights, and equality of all marginalized groups. It also addresses a host of issues that prior to now remain uncharted: street harassment, slut shaming, online misogyny, emphasis on women’s rights in developing countries, campus rape, discrimination and sexual harassment of women in freelance industries, regulations in the fashion industry with regards to underage and/or underweight models, a stronger emphasis on the body positive movement including more inclusion for plus-sized women in the media. The list goes on, but the point is clear. The second aspect of fourth wave feminism has to do with how it is promoted in the millennial era. Digital media and the endless number of outlets for it define the parameters of fourth wave feminism. Now, thanks to Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, blogging, and hashtags, it’s as if the feminist movement has been injected with steroids. There is a new platform for amplifying the issues and through collective support, enacting social change.

In Western cultures it’s universally accepted that equal rights is a good thing, but enacting actual change, so that equal rights can become a reality, is obviously a different question. Women are still marginalized in many creative industries, such as filmmaking, photography, art and journalism.  In the corporate world, women are paid less than men (about 82 cents to the dollar), but when examining the “why,” the “where” and the “who” of gender in the workforce it gets difficult to pinpoint. Are women not vocal enough about asking for a raise? Are bosses innately biased against paying women more? Are women in creative industries just not as competent? These are problems whose solutions require a serious shift in attitude towards gender, and to boot, it is clearly proving difficult to craft fair policies that would enforce a comprehensive equalization in pay for women in the workplace. The answer however, may be to simply keep drilling the issues. In Hillary Clinton’s speech on March 10, 2015 at the Women’s Empowerment Initiative, she declared, “gender Equality is not just morally right, but is the smart thing to do…. We have to keep making the same case over and over again. What we are doing here today is smart for companies and smart for countries.” She subsequently launched the hashtag #WereNotThereYet.  Women are still placed within social norms that categorize them as virgins or whores, and are often thought less of if they chose not to get married or have children, as if their lives should be in service to humanity, while a man’s life is his own. Double standards still abound. Women’s bodies are still presented in the media as sex objects, prompting campaigns such as #freethenipple which addresses Instagram’s sexist censorship policies. While it is important to keep the conversation surrounding these issues afloat, it is also important for millennials to have strong examples of feminists in the media and pop culture whom they can rally behind. And despite any differences one might have with Watson’s brand of feminism or the rhetoric she uses to spread it, her basic premise of gender equality should elicit a unified response among the millennial generation.

We are increasingly seeing a palpable departure from feminism’s previous tenents, as women are now embracing femininity as a tool for independence and empowerment. No longer is there a dichotomous tension between sexy and smart, for example. Young women view their sexuality as an indispensable facet of their identities, to be used to elevate their stake at home, at work and in the world. The latter sees us returning to issues like rape and the imperative to expand its legal definition, to reproductive rights vis-a-vis access to affordable healthcare options and to equality in the work force, shifting the conversation to include the need for more women in science and technology. Clearly the tides are changing as this new frontier of feminism unfolds. And many are harnessing it, though there are some that still avoid joining the dialogue. One reason many young women and men shy away from it is due to the scrutiny they potentially face for speaking up. When, during her Oscar acceptance speech, Patricia Arquette confronted pay inequality in the workplace, specifically in the entertainment industry, she was criticized from both sides for a “limited view” of feminism. Similarly, Watson has been called-out on having a skewed perception of real world problems. Actress Maisie Williams is one who has come out against Watson’s feminism. The 18-year-old star of Game of Thrones plays a character who challenges gender norms and pushes the boundaries of what it means to be a girl. She said that Watson endorses “first world” feminism, ignoring more serious global problems at hand. Perhaps, but Watson has contended that these issues would be invariably easier to solve with a united front. “All I know is that I care about this problem and I want to make it better. And having seen what I’ve seen and given the chance, I feel it’s my responsibility to say something.”

Actress Shailene Woodley pissed off the Internet recently when, in an interview with Time, she declared she was not a feminist “because I like men.” The implication, of course, is clear. In declaring oneself a feminist she is also declaring herself a dour, man-hating radical, with a wild armpit bush and leg hair. Katy Perry was quoted in 2012 as saying, “I am not a feminist, but I do believe in the power of women.” What exactly the distinction is that she’s attempting to make is unclear. It is hard to discuss gender equality without the word, “feminism,” so what most millennial feminists, including Watson, are trying to do is to reclaim the word’s potency in the context of the modern era. Perhaps their work is paying off – in 2014 when asked about the subject, Perry had taken a new position. “A feminist? Um, yeah, actually,” she responded. “I used to not really understand what that word meant, and now that I do, it just means that I love myself as a female and I also love men.” Taylor Swift was also originally among young celebrities who eschewed the label, but recently said in an interview “Misogyny is ingrained in people from the time they are born. So to me, feminism is probably the most important movement that you could embrace, because it’s just basically another word for equality.” According to some, such as Sarah Sobieraj, a professor of sociology at Tufts University, those against the feminist movement have labeled the word as an undesirable stereotype, essentially turning the movement against itself, dismissing the very issues it aims to solve. One can’t help but marvel at how a word alone can possess so much power.

We live in an unprecedented era in which people can now join forces through means of digital communication. Issues which at one time seemed so difficult to resolve now for the first time in history are within our reach, as the collective voices of change become a global currency. It was over 100 years ago that women gained the right to vote, yet equal rights for women is still an issue. The future remains to be seen, but one thing is for sure, Millennials more than any other generation have the tools for change, and as the tidal wave of chatter becomes a global chant, we may actual see gender discrimination end in our lifetime.

– The Untitled Magazine

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Backlash on Insulin Pump Hacking, Safety Issues

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/backlash-on-insulin-pump-hacking-safety-issues/

Backlash on Insulin Pump Hacking, Safety Issues

When the insulin pump hacking story first broke two weeks ago, we viewed it mostly as a publicity stunt. But it's had some interesting repercussions. Notably, two congressman have stepped up and requested that the Government Accountability Office (GAO) review the Federal Communications Commission's approach to medical devices with wireless capabilities to ensure that the devices are "safe, reliable, and secure." Well, that seems like good news...

The hullabaloo was enough for instigator Jay Radcliffe, computer security expert and type 1 PWD, to hold a follow-up webinar last Thursday. Below is a synopsis of Allison's notes from that event:

* As of last Thursday, the manufacturer of the pump Jay hacked into has been revealed to be Medtronic Minimed.

* His reasoning and motivation for doing the hack? Jay claims he was inspired by the story of two men hacking into a city parking meter in San Francisco a few years ago. The city was forced to re-evaluate security measures for the meters. Jay apparently "had the same thing in mind" when he hacked into his own insulin pump. He says he wanted to help the companies by showing their "security vulnerabilities."

* Reactions to Jay's original presentation have run the gamut, but the most telling to Jay so far was that from Medtronic itself. The company largely dismissed the notion of any potential risks. That's why Jay decided to go public with the manufacturer's name, he says. "Blowing me off is not an ethical response."

The upshot of this is that he seems to be in a bit of a pissing match with the company — or at least a "he says, she says" situation in which the truth probably lies somewhere inbetween:

* Jay explains: "The Electronic Frontier Foundation and I worked a lot on this issue. Quite often in the security community we will raise an issue without contacting a vendor. Companies that are not current with security issues often will try and litigate to prevent research from coming to light. It's easy to bury legitimate research from an individual in a mountain of legal paperwork. The answer to that is ethical disclosure... Usually the company is appreciative of this gesture, and fixes the problem without having public scrutiny or pressure to rush thing. Some do not."

* Jay picked apart Medtronic's reaction, point by point:

Medtronic says: "information security of devices... is an integral part of the very fabric of our product design processes."

Jay says: "this clearly isn't the case," as he found in his hacking there was "no authentication or encryption used" and that he publicly showed in Vegas that there are vulnerabilities.

Medtronic says: "Thanks to (our) information security measures, we strongly believe it would be extremely difficult for a third-party to wirelessly tamper with your insulin pump."

Jay says: "There are no security measures. Needing to know the serial number of the device is not security." He claims it would be fairly easy for any hacker to devise what the six-digit serial number is for an insulin pump. (We're not sure how...?)

Medtronic says: "To our knowledge, there has never been a single reported incident of wireless tampering outside of controlled laboratory experiments in more than 30 years of device telemetry use, which includes millions of devices worldwide."

Jay says: "Until now." Obviously, that's just because no one has ever thought to hack into an insulin pump. But just because no one has ever thought of doing it yet doesn't mean no one ever will. (Guess we'd have agree there: crossing your fingers isn't much of a security measure.)

Medtronic says: "He ... TURNED ON the wireless feature and had access to specialized equipment ... you can remove any uncertainty by turning OFF the wireless communication on your device."

Jay says: "this is flat out not true" and that the wireless ability of an insulin pump cannot be turned off. This is why he was able to change any setting or configuration on his device. In addition, he has qualms with the label "specialized equipment," saying he used his Carelink USB device. Although he did NOT give step-by-step instructions on how he used this equipment, Jay did perform the entire hack on stage in Las Vegas in what he says was "about a minute."

Jay also claims that he worked with the Department of Homeland Security to contact Medtronic's CEO's office and left messages there on Aug. 10.

Of course, we had to look a little deeper into the other side of the story. Here's how Medtronic responded to our inquiries:

John Mastrototaro, Medtronic's VP of Research & Development, told us in a phone call on Aug. 26 that he had just spoken with the Department of Homeland Security in "an informal discussion in order to follow up to the claims that Jay made." He says this was his first conversation with DHS and he was not aware that they attempted to contact Medtronic on this issue earlier.

Specifically, he says: "There is some security and authentication in the product. But there is not encryption. Those have two different meanings to these security experts." He reiterated that their "primary method of security" is in the secrecy of the six-digit serial number, located on the back of an insulin pump. Another reaction post on the company's blog that went up Friday stated: "We recommend that you protect the serial number of your pump as you would your social security number, passwords and other important personal information." Hmmm.

John also stated: "One challenge for us as an organization is that we have to make trade-offs as to where we're going to put our research dollars and what problems we're going to solve. We've been very focused in the Artificial Pancreas Project... Our new platforms will have the latest encryption technology into those devices. Trying to stay way ahead of the ball is very difficult. It can take 5-7 years for new technology to get out. There is always going to be a potential risk that there's an evolution of the technology that gets further ahead of the products. Our approach has definitely been proactive and serious, even though it is a remote risk as Jay has said. We want to incorporate solutions to our future iterations of product so that we make it harder still for this sort of thing to occur."

One interesting factoid is that the security in the Paradigm insulin pump is 12-14 years old. "This was created before 9/11, before malicious intent really came about — when you used to be able to take a water bottle onto the plane," John says. Twelve to 14 years? Haven't enough new insulin pumps come out since then that they could have done just a little upgrading on security? We'll admit, probability of hacking seems pretty low. But still, more than a decade and no security upgrades?

The two congressmen entering the fray are Reps. Anna Eshoo of California and Edward Markey of Massachusetts, both Democrats. In their letter to the Government Accountability Office (GAO), they ask for a report on the extent to which FCC is:

Identifying the challenges and risks posed by the proliferation of medical implants and other devices that make use of broadband and wireless technology.

Taking steps to improve the efficiency of the regulatory processes applicable to broadband and wireless enabled medical devices.

Ensuring wireless enabled medical devices will not cause harmful interference to other equipment.

Overseeing such devices to ensure they are safe, reliable, and secure.

Coordinating its activities with the Food and Drug Administration."

They also write: "In bringing forward innovative wireless technologies and devices for healthcare, it's critical that these devices are able to operate together and with other hospital equipment, and not interfere with each other's activities and data transmissions."

Jay Radcliffe is, obviously, very excited about this development. To him, the behavior of the company in response to this revelation is more worrisome than the actual hacking itself.

On that note, Jay has announced that he is no longer a Medtronic user but has switched to Animas. He plans to hack their insulin pump in a similar manner. If successful, he says, "I will take the same actions I did previously. Hopefully Animas/J&J will behave better than Medtronic has." Look out, Animas!

So what does all this mean for the rest of us pumpers? Of course we can only cross our fingers that this won't further bog down the already-painfully-slow FDA process for approving new diabetes devices, like the Medtronic Veo system with low-glucose suspend function (hopefully hacker-safe!).

Should we also be worried about real and immediate risks to our personal safety? I think SecurityWatch said it best when they recently stated: "Radcliffe's hack is interesting and helpful for pressuring device manufacturers to improve their security, but not especially scary."

* * *

Cabin Pressure Safety:

As if our worries as pumpers weren't numerous enough, now an endocrinologist in Australia has discovered that cabin pressure changes in flight might occasionally mess with dosing.

After hearing that a 10-year-old girl went low one hour after take-off (and we;re assuming they ruled out every other possible cause of a low blood sugar?!), Bruce King of John Hunter Children's Hospital in Newcastle, Australia, and his colleagues discovered other cases of insulin pumpers who also went low after take-off. Apparently that was enough to spark a mini-study in which they sent 10 insulin pumps up in the air and discovered that they gave, on average, 1-1.4 extra units of insulin during take-off. During descent, when cabin pressure was increasing, some insulin was sucked back into the pumps, by about 1 unit.

Of course, 10 insulin pumps is hardly a statistically significant number, and one unit of insulin is probably not going to be deal-breaker for most adult patients (but it made a big difference to the 10-year-old!). We'd say that parents of small children who tend to go low during air travel might want to take note, and adjust accordingly.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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