#obviously challenge yourself and it’s ok to take classes you don’t like but

[navyhyuck]

do you mind if i ask you about your stats like act gpa and classes you’ve taken since freshman year (ik you haven’t gotten into college but i noticed that you said you’re doing ap testing so i assumed you’re a junior) but only if you’re comfy!!! thanks and good luck 😊😊😊

hi love, i’d be glad to hehe (and yes i am a junior! but fair warning that my stats are simply that, mine, so please do not compare yourself to me or anyone else for that matter! not saying my stats are stellar LOL but moving on):

1410 sat with essay (730 rw and 680 math and a 16/24 on the essay which is now no longer part of the exam so), i didn’t take the act! my gpa rn is 3.8 unweighted (4.0 weighted) and okay,

freshman yr: honors history (B+ yikes i thought it was an A), honors english (i think a B+ my teacher hated me), and honors biology (a B but barely it was a traumatic time), geometry cp/academic (A+), french 1 cp/academic (A+), accounting 1 (A+) + two required electives that i got As in

sophomore yr: honors english (A+), honors chemistry (B+ yikes i also thought this was an A), and apush year 1 (B+ absolutely a nightmare i hate this class), precalculus cp/academic (A plus i took algebra II the summer before soph year to bump up a level), french 2 cp/academic (A+), a&p + med. phys. (these were two semester classes but got As in both) + two random semester electives that were so useless (i took fucking culinary and learned about eggs pls don’t be like me)

junior yr: honors english (A), honors genetics (A, this is a supplemental class to ap bio at my school so idk if it’s offered everywhere), ap biology (B+, we don’t talk about this either), ap macroeconomics (A+), ap us history (A, my school does two years), calculus cp/academic (A), french 3 cp/academic (A)

senior yr (prospective classes but we’ll see): ap physics 1, ap literature and language, ap calculus ab, french 4 cp/academic, + two semester electives + a required elective i didn’t fucking fulfill in sophomore year for the reason that i’m a dumb bitch and took culinary arts instead wtf

tbh grades aren’t everything. there’s always extracurriculars and volunteer work and your essay and letters of rec so!! just try your best in class bc at the end of the day, you will be going to college (and it doesn’t matter if it’s not harvard ok)!! :)

[whoree321]

the bad batch + what romance/rom com movies they watch with you

each of the bad batch x gn!reader

ok first and foremost i really truly believe to the pits of my soul that every single one of these fuckos loves romances and you cannot under any circumstances change my mind

ALSO it’s a gender neutral reader except kinda in echo’s theres like a very brief quote regarding breasts but like i still think even that is pretty gender neutral tbh

so anyway

Hunter: Pretty Woman

this is not the first time that i have publicly declared that i think hunter has a deep rooted connection to the movie pretty woman and it will not be the last

first of all this movie is incredibly soothing to hunters overwhelming savior complex

second of all hunter is literally richard gere (debonaire but emotionally distant gentleman that learns to love) and julia roberts (hooker with a heart of gold) at the same time

he was a little skeptical the first time you put it on but he instantly fell in love with it

the humor, the sensuality, the class divide, the glamour, the unconventional cinderella story of it all. it just really butters his bread

after the first time, when you suggest watching a movie and you pick this one he’ll act very aloof about it (“whatever you want cyar’ika, it doesn’t matter to me”) but secretly he’s really really happy bc it’s one of his favorites (you def know this and def pick it more often)

he absolutely hates the scene when stucky the lawyer hits vivian. like it doesn’t matter how many times he watches it he will fully turn his head away from the screen and say “I don’t like this part” and when it’s over he nuzzles a little closer into you and very tenderly kisses your forehead

he loves the soundtrack too. like he fully exposes how much he likes the movie when you catch him singing or humming “pretty woman” or “it must have been love” absently to himself (you kept it to yourself for a while but eventually you just had to tease him about it. he just smiled a little sheepishly and admitted he liked the songs before promptly changing the subject)

hunter also lowkey definitely wants to recreate the ending where richard gere shows up to her apartment in the white limo with you bc he thinks it’s such a sweet gesture and he wants to treat you like royalty

Crosshair: 10 Things I Hate About You

if there’s one thing about crosshair it’s that he’s a sucker for the enemies to lovers genre

maybe its just him projecting (spoiler alert it most certainly is) but he really enjoys watching the drama conflama of a miserable bastard be tricked into love

and really that’s the true essence of 10 Things I Hate About You

he will grumble and bitch and moan about not wanting to watch a ‘chick flick’ when you put it on, but 15 minutes in and he’s hooked

he has strong negative opinions on literally every single character except for kat and patrick

(crosshair really really wants to think he’s patrick but when it comes down to it he is katarina stratford in every single possible way)

he doesn’t say a word throughout the entire movie but you can tell when he’s annoyed at like bianca or cameron or joey bc he will openly scoff at them

will absolutely hum along in your ear during the “can’t take my eyes off you” scene and make out with you during the paintball scene

(seriously he wants to be patrick verona so bad)

when it’s over and you ask him what he thought he’ll roll his eyes and say “i guess it could have been worse” but his little smirk let’s you know he enjoyed it a lot more than he’s willing to admit

Tech: 50 Shades of Grey

ok hear me out on this one

tech is a huge movie talker. like subtitles are a non-negotiable if you wanna be able to take in any of the movies dialogue bc tech is most likely gonna make commentary over it the whole time

this makes him absolutely indescribably so much fun to watch bad/corny movies with

he will go off about EVERYTHING. the plot, the dialogue, the acting, the costuming, the music, the production quality. nothing and no one is safe. whether you just enjoy letting him talk at you or you join in on the roast, cheesy movies are a hoot between you two

and honey. 50 shades is one of THE cheesiest movies ever

you and tech will literally spend the entire duration of the movie tearing it to shreds

and the thing is tech is a very sarcastic, funny guy when he wants to be (and when it comes to you he definitely wants to be) so by the end of it he will have you in absolute stitches from laughing at the ridiculousness of both the movie and him

with any of the other batchers watching a movie like this either turns into a shy, slightly awkward experience (wrecker, echo) or an incorrigibly horny experience (crosshair, hunter)

but in this context tech literally has no shame or squeamishness about sexual things (why should he it’s a natural biological process?) so to yall the sex stuff is just another thing to roast

literally christian grey could be fully tying dakota johnson down and flogging her and tech will be like “in the last 3 minutes they have panned up to her nipples 4 times. this is criminally shoddy cinematography”

even tho he’s busy giving a detailed play by play critique, he never fails to keep some sort of physical contact with you (wrapping an arm around you and running his hand up and down your skin, playing with your fingers or your hair) so you know he’s enjoying spending this time with you despite his nasty words about the movie

also 1000% after you watch it tech will do extensive research on the ins and outs of bdsm and will have lots of hypotheses he wants to test out (as long as you’re willing and able ofc) ;)))

Wrecker: 13 Going On 30

of all the bad batch members, wrecker is the only one who unabashedly loves any movie that could be considered a chick flick

like he doesn’t even try to hide it or act like he’s too masculine for it. he loves romance and he’s proud of it

this man will have full marathons with you. rom coms, regular roms, tragic roms, hallmark roms, you name it and he’s game

his absolute favorite tho is 13 Going On 30

i feel like he has a huge soft spot for childhood best friends to lovers stories like he finds that type of lifelong partnership so endearing (and he loves to live vicariously through jenna since that type of romance was obviously never an option for him)

wrecker is also very childlike at heart and i think the idea of a 13 year old sweetheart trapped inside the body of a 30 year old cut throat magazine exec is so amusing to him (and maybe makes him feel just a little bit represented in the media)

he is definitely the type to completely engulf you in a cuddle for the entirety of the movie and he DEFINITELY cries into your shoulder at matty’s wedding when jenna is crying on the stoop with her dream house

he wants to try razzles so bad. like so bad. i think if he ever came across them somewhere he would barter at least one of his brothers for them

wrecker really just loves love and watching movies about it just reminds him of how lucky he is to have his own love story with you <3

Echo: The Princess Bride

i feel like it’s glaringly obvious why echo loves this movie

pirates. sword fighting. decades long revenge plots. the value of an honorable, loyal man. true love that never wavers even in the face of devastating tragedy and the darkest of hardships. clever but goofy humor.

echo considers this an action/adventure movie and NOT a romance movie (even tho it 100% totally is a romance movie) and requests to watch it very frequently

he can quote the whole thing. i’m seriously telling you echo loves the princess bride with his whole chest

even tho he refuses to admit it’s a love story above all else, he really does try to model himself in your relationship after wesley

like especially given what happened at the citadel and all the time you thought he was dead, the cinematic parellels are alive and present in y’alls relationship and he strives to be even half the man to you that wesley is to buttercup

literally in your day to day life he will sometimes respond to your requests with a smooth “as you wish ;)” (it doesn’t matter how many times he does it it still gives you butterflies)

when you watch the movie, he snuggles as close to you as possible and does his best to make youre comfy the whole time (he’s insecure about his prosthetics hurting you no matter how much you reassure him they don’t)

he just loves to be able to feel your heartbeat and your laugh when you giggle at the funny bits

every single time without fail at the part when buttercup is about to stab herself he leans down, ghosts his lips against the shell of your ear, and whispers the line in time with wesley: “there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours”

every single time without fail you wind up making out until he pulls away and tells you to watch the next part when wesley challenges humperdinck to a duel to the pain

echo just loves you to bits and wants you to know he’d endure a thousand fire swamps for you

Omega: Clueless

i have this really specific obsession with omega being a total girly girl and having very traditionally feminine interests as she keeps experiencing the universe and being exposed to a spectrum of gender expression beyond clone (masc and boring) and kaminoan (ugly)

so with that headcanon of her in mind, it’s vital to me that she sees clueless as soon as possible

clueless is an essential piece of media for a girl entering adolescence and i will die on this hill

it has literally everything you want and everything you need to develop into a well-rounded young woman

it’s so deliciously 90s and glamorama and valley girl humor and camp. its got meaningful female friendships and valuable life lessons and paul mf rudd

if there’s one thing you should encourage a burgeoning hetero teen girl to do, it’s to stick to dating guys like paul rudd in clueless. the earlier this message can be broadcast the better

the second you’re able to steal omega away from hunters watchful eyes (“hunter we’re just gonna watch finding nemo i swear!”) you show her this movie

at this point omega is not really a girly girl, but omega also has absolutely zero feminine influence in her life

the first time she sees clueless she is absolutely obsessed. like seriously she is so enamoured with the glitz and glam of cher horowitz

she asks you questions the entire time. she wants to know about EVERYTHING. the makeup, the clothes, the hair, the slang

(she definitely goes around saying stuff like “i’m totally bugging” for long enough afterwards that almost all of the boys have slipped up at least once with some ridiculous valley girl slang. you thought you were gonna die of laughter when you overheard tech say “as if!” to wrecker in the middle of an argument)

it just really introduces her to this whole world of femininity that she didn’t even know existed and she absolutely loves it

she makes you watch clueless with her seriously once a week at minimum. she begs you to style her hair like tai’s and you can’t help yourself when you happen to run across a little yellow plaid dress and buy it for her on sight

(hunter was gonna scold you for recklessly spending credits until he saw how omega almost cried from how happy she was for the gift)

honestly she enjoys the romance of it all and paul rudd is def her first celebrity crush but she enjoys more that you and her now have this special thing of hair and nails and pretty dresses

she loves how confident and beautiful and special you’re able to make her feel, and you love that you get to bring her that small sense of normalcy and happiness

[mitch-the-simp]

The Only Teenage Bitch Worth My Time (Jotaro x Sister!Reader)

(I literally wrote this for my English final exam- But obviously modified and without cursing.)

(Y/n) had always been the star child; not one instance in her life had her intellectual potential been questioned by anyone in her family. Alas, this was one of those moments in which she felt like she didn't deserve to be the gifted child of the Joestar family.

Her brother, Jotaro, was as clever and quick-thinking as her, yet he was treated as intellectually challenged because of his demeanor. He was a rude teenager in his junior year that simply walked around acting like he didn't care about anything. He could walk into a restaurant and if he didn't like the food, he would refuse to pay no matter what. If you were to ask him for his opinion on how you looked, if he didn't like it, he would tell you his opinion straight up. No sugar coating, no nice little words; a simple "You look stupid." would suffice. Not to mention he didn't seem to respect his mother.

(Y/n) tried her best to appease her adoptive mother, Holly. But Jotaro? Oh, he didn't care about respect. He would talk back to her, go out and leave her to worry until he returned hours after his curfew. Yet, for some reason, their mother never scolded him. It was like she didn't even care about all that. She would let anything slide so easily. It baffled her to an impossible extent.

Yet, she knew there was more to him than that. (Y/n) seemed to be the only person he actually cared to talk to. She found it odd at first but eventually stopped asking herself why.

Jotaro would tell her about how annoying it is to walk to school and instantly be swarmed by his annoying fangirls. And with all honesty, (Y/n) felt the same way when she saw all those girls literally push her away from walking with her brother to school.

It wasn't soon until (Y/n) picked up a few delinquent habits from Jotaro, though. They were walking down the pavement as (Y/n) spoke to Jotaro, "Hey, you think I'm gonna do good in that science fair? The top prize is 148000¥!". In her hands, he held her science fair project. A small homemade printer she had been working on for months.

"You're pretty smart, I think you'll give those other nerds something to be scared about," Jotaro mumbled.

"You think you can help me set it up in the gym?" She asked smiling at him softly.

And just before he could respond, the stampede of girls ran towards them. They pushed around to be able to bother Jotaro. And when they did, one of them pushed (Y/n) out of the way, causing her to drop her project.

And that's when it happened. She balled up her fists in anger and punched the girl in the face.

Jotaro looked at her, taken aback by his sister's actions. Then he chuckled, pulled the brim of his black hat down to his face, and mumbled a proud, "Good grief." With that, he continued walking. Leaving (Y/n) alone to be caught and sent to detention, which eventually led to her being suspended for a week.

So that was exactly why she was sitting in the middle of her living room right now.

"Why'd it have to be today of all days..." she thought to herself. The reason being that her father, Sadao, came back from his Jazz tour that same day to go support her in the Science fair.

She looked around, wondering if there was anything she could do while she waited. Eventually, she decided to change out of her school uniform. Making her way to her room and changing her Japanese uniform with something that accommodated more to her Italian fashion desires.

She fixed her (H/c) hair and adjusted her (F/c) dress. Though, just as she was sliding on her boots, she heard a car in the driveway.

"Oh shoot-" she exclaimed, running out into the living room. She knew darn well that her mom had already informed her dad of her suspension. So playing it off was no option.

Her father stepped out of the car and hugged her mom. As soon as he saw him walk towards the house, she knew she was fucked.

"(Y/n), I would like to have a word with you young lady," he announced, not wasting a single second after entering through the front door.

"Yes sir." She gulped. She slowly walked towards him, already regretting what she had done earlier that day.

Her father sat down on the couch and patted the space next to him, signaling her to sit down. Once she did as instructed, her father sighed.

"(Y/n), your mother informed me of what happened in school today. Why did you do that?" he asked calmly.

(Y/n) grew nervous. She was too scared to lie to him, but would he be mad at the truth? She just knew he would, but she honestly had no choice, did she?

"I... I just hate it when all those girls crowd around Jotaro. He doesn't even want all that attention! But you know what just infuriated me?! They are constantly pushing through me to get to him! They made me drop my project! And- and you know what's worse?! I CAN'T EVEN ENJOY A SMALL WALK WITH MY OWN BROTHER! And I just thought, 'Ok, what would Jotaro do if he was as mad as I am?' And well... I don't want to excuse my actions... but it just... happened." She ranted, her voice trailing off at the end.

"I see, you were angry about a situation you constantly find yourself feeling helpless in, so you decided to strike at it as you've seen Jotaro do when he's in a problem." He spoke, attempting to understand what she meant.

"Well... he only reacts like that when someone makes him mad, so yes." She mumbled back.

"See, sweetheart, the past few years, I've seen that Jotaro looked at you as too perfect to even try to be like you. And now I see that in your own way, you see Jotaro as stronger than you. Perhaps more courageous? You have found a hidden nobility inside of him. A resilience that he doesn't even show us. And I know you admire it so much, that you wish you had the capability to be as carefree and careless as he is." Sadao commented.

"I... I guess you're right." (Y/n) admitted.

"Whether you see it or not, you two make a great duo because you're what the other wished they were. I'm not saying it wasn't wrong that you punched that girl in the face, but I'm saying that you should try to channel that newfound courage into... less violent things." He suggested.

"Just go where destiny guides you my cherry blossom," Holly added as she walked by them on her way to the kitchen.

"I'll take this as permission to be mean to people, verbally."

"Take it as you will, just don't get yourself into any more trouble, ok kid?" He clarified.

"Yes sir!" She cheered.

Sadao got up from the couch, he was about to leave the living room, when he stopped in his tracks and turned to see his daughter once again, "Oh and (Y/n)."

"Yes, Papa?"

"You're grounded."

"Awww! What about the science fair?" She asked.

"Well, you have a project to fix." He reassured her, letting her know he was still going to take her.

"Can I at least pick Jotaro up from school?"  You asked.

"Yes, but remember the conversation we had, (Y/n)." He responded as he walked into the kitchen. 

(Y/n) nodded at him, as she walked outside and laid on the grass. As she looked at the clouds. She really wished Jotaro had come to get her out of detention. Or had at least snuck her out of school for one of his smoking sessions before she got caught. Obviously, (Y/n) herself didn't smoke, so she really was just gonna sit there and maybe even snack on something while they both had a sensible conversation. 

That's where she got an idea: Jotaro was probably skipping class to smoke right now, and she had nothing to do, so she thought sneaking out of the house to hang out with him wasn't a bad idea. So she went back into the house and walked into the kitchen where her parents were talking to each other.

"Hey mom, dad, I think I'm gonna go take a nap until Jotaro is out of school." She announced.

"Alright honey, just let me know If you want anything, ok?" Holly smiled as she kissed her cheek.

(Y/n) went into her room and got a small backpack full of snacks. Slowly, she opened the door back up and ran out into the yard and out of the house's territory. Then she ran towards the school.

Once she got there, she looked around for Jotaro. As always, she found him sitting on the bleachers, cigarette in hand and black hat covering his eyes. (Y/n) made her way towards him, climbing up the bleachers and sitting next to him on the top seats.

He slowly turned to her, and chuckled, "Weren't you in detention?" 

"I was suspended you jackass." She responded.

"Oh, well that sounds bad for your permanent record," he spoke softly, taking a puff of his cigarette.

"Yeah... it was worth it though, those bitches have been getting on my nerves for some time now." She shrugged, taking a bag of chips out of her backpack.

"Really? Is it because they always push you around," he asked casually.

"Well, that's part of the issue... but mostly it's because I hate how they just won't leave you alone. It's like every hint you throw at them completely misses them! I mean, you literally call them bitches in their stupid faces!" (Y/n) complained.

"Yeah, it's pretty damn annoying..." he mumbled softly. 

He didn't want to actually thank her for getting him out of that situation; it would ruin the careless delinquent image he'd worked so hard to build. But he saw his sister's sweet gesture as the only reason why she was the only teenage bitch worth his time.

And even though he didn't say it, (Y/n) knew damn well that he was thanking her from the bottom of his heart with that response. 

"So, you want to help me fix my printer before the fair? I promise I'll let you use it." (Y/n) asked.

"Sure, it starts at 10, doesn't it?" 

"Yeah, I'm sure that if you help me we can get it done by 9:30." She spoke.

"But you have to tell me what to do, or else I'll probably fuck it up," he responded.

"Don't worry, I'll tell you, little Joot!" (Y/n) said as she pulled down his hat.

"Don't call me that you bitch." He turned away, hiding the embarrassed blush on his face.

"Come on little bro..." She pouted playfully.

Jotaro sighed, "I'm not your little bro. I was here first, you bitch." he grunted.

"Yeah, but I'm still older than you by one year." 

"Yeah, I'm pretty fucking sure that doesn't count." He rolled his eyes.

"Uh- I'm pretty sure that it does. Age is what determines who's the oldest sibling, dumbass." She said, matter-of-factly. 

"I still refuse to accept it." He grunted in annoyance

"Fine... suit yourself... little Joot.~" (Y/n) chuckled.

She wouldn't change what they had for anything in the world, and she knew Jotaro thought the same thing. Even if he didn't really tell her.

[enhyupn]

enhypen as characters inspired by animes ᯤ 

tagging @youreverydayzebra @ncityy04 @rheyom

ot7!enhypen x gn!reader, fluff, warnings: mentions of (jokingly) dying, swear words, reader’s in a maid outfit in jay’s one but no mentions of a certain gender, word count: 3.3k

a/n most of these aren’t the same as the animes mentioned but instead just inspired or loosely inspired by the plot! also some of these aren’t the same in word count and i apologise for that ]:

∷ heeseung — orange

heeseung as the new kid at school and he’s so pretty that everyone just. Stops in place and just stares at him as he introduces himself

funnily enough you already saw this coming, realising this was the same heeseung the letter you received that morning told you about

what was funnier was the fact that letter was coming from the future you

you didn’t believe it Then because like... it kinda sounds too stupid to be true

but then BOOM there heeseung is

your teacher makes him sit beside you and you’re just trying to wrap your head around how crazy all of this is

your letter even told you that he was going to sit beside you, why was all of this coming true????

you didn’t read on because you were in a rush to get to school but maybe if that letter warned you about how pretty he was, you wouldn’t of been that flustered when he started talking to you

“hey i’m heeseung!” “ummm yeah, i’m y/n... yeah”

when school ends you RACE home to get to that letter again

rest of heeseung + of the members under the cut!

your future self was gonna have a lot of explaining to do...

turns out the future you Let this same heeseung walk out of your life so now you have to fix this

“dear past me, i can’t believe i was this stupid to let him leave my life like this— how stupid am i??”

now you make it your mission to keep your barely started relationship not go rocky

and oh boy would that be a challenge for the years to come

not because heeseung’s a terrible bf, future you just gave terrible tips

everyday after that you and heeseung (like the letter said) turned into great friends

great friends as in friends that people think that are dating

soon that friendship became a relationship... and a very strong one to be honest

your letters were weirdly very accurate

a firework festival... how he confessed to you... all of it was in those letters

honestly you should scold them for letting heeseung get away!!

you secretly wanna tease them that YOU have heeseung by your side and they don’t but... you can’t really do that

you tell heeseung about the letters one day and he just. Stares at you in astonishment

because he also received letters on the same day you got them from future him too

turns out future you and heeseung both regret their decision

poor them but at least present you gets to kiss heeseung whenever you want 😇

not to spoil anything but heeseung didn’t end up walking out of your life <3 instead you two are now sickly in love

∷ jay — maid-sama

you work at a maid café mainly because you needed the money and honestly... it wasn’t even that bad of a job

i mean compared to your school president life — trying to keep teenage boys out of trouble — happily serving polite and friendly (most of the time) customers was definitely a steal

one boy in particular gave you a bit more trouble than the rest of them however

he wasn’t bad or anything, just... a serial heart breaker

jay park was always on your radar due to the fact so many people would go up to you asking you to tell him to be nicer with his rejections

he wasn’t complied to be nicer but 😍 what can you do

safe to say that you didn’t think you had the best relationship with him

you couldn’t understand him even more when you saw him prettily sitting at the tables at your work

may i add, with you in your very own maid outfit as well as a twitching eye

“y/n! looking great” “thanks m-ma-mas—” “your customer service is terrible”

and the fact he came every day after that day made you feel Terrified

and also a little excited to go to work but you’d never admit that!!!

having him stare at you while you cheerily wrote with ketchup on omelettes was... definitely not how you thought your relationship would be like

he would also make small talk too

and visit you after your shift!!! walking you home

now... his daily visits turned into genuine great conversations on the way home

you realised he wasn’t as bad as you made him out to be

he just had strong beliefs that he should only accept a confession if it’s from someone he loves

you didn’t know how... but now You Have Feelings For him.

and seeing him when smile at you every time you serve him at that little maid café... ARGGGG it drove you absolutely mad

the way he oozed out confidence... was sweet and quite literally the prettiest person you’ve ever seen... how could you not

and what other way to confess to him than at the very place your relationship blossomed at!

you wrote “i like you” with ketchup on fried rice for him... yeah

thankfully he was over the moon and Had to hold back kissing you in front of the customers

now you two were dating <3 with the help of a maid café

and that really only left you with one more question

“why did you start visiting this maid café in the first place?”

∷ jake — kimi no todoke

being the quiet student is never. a good thing

especially when you’re ostracised by your class because you never participate

you actually want to but you can’t build any confidence to do so

you never caught the attention of anyone

well... besides a certain popular boy by the name of jake sim

oh boy was this gonna be a culture shock to the girls that have a crush on him

he noticed you on the first day of school when you asked him for directions to your classroom

he won’t ever forget it, the way you had a huge excited smile on his face as the cherry blossoms fell softly around you

he quotes, it looked like you came straight out of heaven because it looked like you had wings on you

he didn’t know how to get your attention though.

every time he tried to do so you wouldn’t even look at him and would just look down at your desk

it hurt him to see you so isolated

that’s when he had the bright idea to ask you if you wanted to walk with him home

bad idea (kinda), because you did accept but you didn’t know what to do the whole time because you’ve never walked home with someone before

it was bad enough that jake was absolutely Stunning. like blindingly attractive

you didn’t know what to say at all

well until you came across a small puppy making it’s way up to the two of you

they were so cute that you just squealed out of excitement

jake was so surprised to hear Something from you that he just instantly put on this huge genuine grin

“there’s no tag on them!” your upsetting tone sent jake into haywire

he literally watched you pet that dog with literal heart eyes he wasn’t even being sutble

he takes a picture of you and he Stupidly leaves the ringer on so you hear him and everything

he was so embarrassed about it

“did you just take a picture of me?” “y-yeah” “oh... is that what people do?”

you literally had no idea how to interact with people so you thought what he did was Normal

somehow this caused jake’s crush on you to develop Quick

especially when you grabbed his hand to pull you closer to the dog

his heart was beating so fast he didn’t know what to do

he is self proclaimed the biggest dog lover but for some reason... he wasn’t even looking at the dog, not even trying to play with it

he was just staring at you with his doting eyes as you smiled and giggled while playing with the dog

he wasn’t gonna confess yet though because he still has to develop your relationship

in true shoujo romance anime fashion, he was gonna confess twelve episodes (probably a year) later <3

∷ sunghoon — ao haru ride

no i definitely did not put sunghoon for ao haru ride because i have a huge crush on kou and sunghoon... /s

you and sunghoon were in the same elementary class because... fate

you had the biggest crush on him and even your mom knew him because he was a well known figure skater

but who didn’t have a crush on him was the real question

being the young confident elementary student you were, you always talked to him

forever talking to him to the point where you two were Actually really good friends

you thought you were on cloud9

but. turns out figure skating takes a lot more training than you had thought so

you literally cried Buckets and Buckets when you found out he had to train in like russia for an unsure amount of time

there was no way on contacting him too since you had no phone, no nothing

so he left. and you didn’t know what to do with yourself

ok flash forward noises

now you’re in high school! still... gripping onto that crush you have on sunghoon

but you think it’s fine since you are Functioning without him i guess

well until you bump into someone with a very familiar voice...

“watch where you’re going” talk about passive Aggressive 🤨

and when you look up because obviously you were gonna start yelling at him

well. You just froze in shock when you were faced with sunghoon’s raised eyebrow smirking at you

and what was the logical thing to do apparently?

cry. right in front of him.

he just froze as he watched you sob while everyone stared at him

he was trying to explain himself while at the same time Dragging you Away because he couldn’t let you just cry in the middle of the hallway

now you two were at the top of some stairway as you sniffled recovering from your endless crying

“why were you crying? “how could i not when you’re here?”

turns out that sunghoon Knew you were at the same school as him but wanted you to figure it out yourself

it took you almost six months. to figure out sunghoon was in your grade.

but what next? do you rekindle your friendship or...

“i’ve changed” okay maybe that answered your question

and before he could even explain himself he just... Got up and left????? for no reason

and that’s when tsundere sunghoon started to come into play.

you constantly tried talking to him but it would end up with the two of you bickering

you walked home the same way too

weirdly enough He was very nice to you sometimes

letting you place your head on his shoulder, lovingly smiling at you, being very Oddly romantic

he was giving you mixed signals.

and there came that old elementary school crush... gearing back up for a second round

“what are we?” now you decided being bold was the right thing to do

he just stared at you and shrugged.

now here comes the water works

you started crying uncontrollably Again but this time sunghoon looked really guilty and comforted you

he even hugged you. (Wow... Development)

he then explained to you that he Likes you (omg) but he’s scared that he might have to pack up and leave you again and he doesn’t want you to get too attached

and you’re like “we have each other’s numbers this time though?”

sunghoon’s just like Ohhhh

that’s how you started dating

and rekindled that elementary crush (successfully)

∷ sunoo — toilet-bound hanako-kun

being the bold and adventurous person you are. You decided to call onto your school’s very own ghost

because you had the biggest crush on this upperclassman you needed the support of a Spirit to help you

“ummmm hey... school spirit, i’m kinda in love with someone and i heard—” “hi” and then you fall onto the ground because something scares you

turns out the spirit’s name is sunoo and you just summoned him

it also turns out this spirit was kinda cute 😟

he had offered you something like a book — telling you if you follow all the rules — you’ll end up dating your crush

turns out it was just a middle school romance book you could of bought at dollar tree.

you were rightfully mad at him Since all you did was end up embarrassing yourself

somehow during your argument, your eyes caught a glimpse of something in his pocket

you took it. because you deserved it

and ATE IT when sunoo told you that it grants you any wish when consumed

you didn’t even need to listen to any of the disclaimers because it was already in your stomach

one things turns into another and now you’re a spiritually bound fish to sunoo.

turns out what you ate was mermaid scales and he needed to eat one too so you could turn human (he told you he can’t explain it because it’s a long story!)

you two are now bonded together (4lyfe 🥺🤞) and you aren’t that happy due to the fact he was always teasing you and playing around with you!!!!

you were now his human assistant.

you helped him with cleaning the toilets and he helped you by saving you from the supernatural

very well balanced relationship

you grew very fond of sunoo as time went on

even though you almost died a few times... he was always there to save you from whatever the spiritual world had to offer

i won’t spoil anything but... school spirit sunoo seemed to have a soft spot for you too 😇

you showed him your passion for art and everything like that

you tried to dodge questions about the... y’know... why he was a spirit

knowing that it would probably hurt him

plus he didn’t have all those things coming after him for nothing

falling in love with a ghost wasn’t what... you were expecting when you first joined your school

but i guess you had no choice since he was spiritually bound to you!

∷ jungwon — whisper of the heart

you loved the library dearly, you loved reading and writing— just books in general

your favourite place was a really big cosy library a few minutes away from your house

you had always borrowed more than three books every visit

and every time you would look at who borrowed the book, the same exact name would show up each book you borrowed

“yang jungwon... he seems to have good taste in books”

you would dreamily sigh thinking about what this jungwon looked like

later on in the week you were writing a story at the park— y’know, normal things

your friend called you out of the blue for some reason rushing for you to help them

out of panic you forgot your book on the bench and didn’t realise when you had finally finished helping out your friend

to your surprise there was already someone sitting on the bench

and Reading Your Very Own Story

you literally just run up to him and snatch it from his hands because you’re embarrassed!!!

what didn’t help was the fact that the first thing he did was Laugh in your face about it .

he called your story stupid!!! and critiqued it!!!!

you just bicker with him and complain to your friend about it later that night

the next day you thought that... maybe if you went to the library again you might spot this yang jungwon

so you make it your mission to get to the library

funnily enough your plan had failed in an instant when your eyes caught a cat that you just became curious about

you followed it because it just wouldn’t stop getting away from you

it also looked like it was taking you somewhere but 😦

after a tiring ten minutes of following this cat from hell and back. It brought you to this old antique shop

you instantly fell in love with the store and everything in it

you were so distracted by everything that you hadn’t realised someone was behind you

you could feel your eyes widen when you realised it was the same boy from the park

holding that same cat you were following too????

“why are you here?” his eyes literally started Squinting at you

he then proceeded to tell you about how his vocal lessons were nearby and more importantly that the cat was His

he asks you if you want to go visit where he does his lessons and Obviously being as curious as you were, you accepted

when he brought you there you could see his eyes instantly sparkle from just being there cute... kinda

he even started to sing for you and that’s when you thought that he wasn’t that bad

some of his teachers started to join in too and before you knew it, the sun was already gone and you’ve spent the whole time with some boy that you were supposed to hate

“jungwon, who’s your friend” your body Froze in shock when you heard that name

jungwon thought you were stupid for not knowing your name and now you realise you’ve been crushing on him this whole time

(i refuse to continue on more with this because it’ll be too long unless some of you want a oneshot of this 😍)

∷ ni-ki — haikyuu

being forced by your teacher to sign up to be some volleyball team’s manager was Not that fun to experience

but there you were, managing a volleyball practice of that very own team

thankfully, it was safe to say you had a good relationship with all of them

and an even Better relationship with a certain volleyball player

nishimura riki and you were practically glued to the hip

you were so incredibly thankful that he was the first one to speak to you when you first started becoming their manager

the rest of them were tall and scary but riki was just tall and friendly

he was so energetic and just So bright that you couldn’t help but look forward to seeing him every day you had practice

he would even teach you how to play volleyball

like he’d be like “isn’t this move so cool? let me teach you it!”

at this point you could be a professional volleyball player with the help of riki

you were overjoyed watching them win their final match to compete in the spring interhigh

you were also incredibly happy to know that riki scored the winning point

he couldn’t stop telling you about it and you just kept excitedly praising him and not to play favourites but you weren’t this excited when heeseung scored the previous winning point

even though you and your team were excited, you could feel how nervous they were when they entered the huge gymnasium

they were surrounded by all the best high school volleyball teams in the country

the very first team they went up against gave them a very Tough time

you remember sweating so hard when the scores were almost the same, the other team leading in that set

you decided that. Maybe you could help

“riki! you can do it” your shouting somehow caused riki to instantly become energised

everything was a blur up until your team had Won the match

and all because you gave riki some encouragement

he literally ran to you the second they had won and almost knocked you down

you didn’t wanna tell him that he was sweaty so you just let him carry on hugging you tightly

the rest of the team was like “why didn’t you cheer us on like you did with riki?”

and when you tried to explain your face just started heating up like crazy

so you ignored the subject.

riki just took it as he was your favourite

but what you didn’t want to tell them was the fact that you had a crush on him

as if it wasn’t obvious enough 😟

[meichenxi]

Hey! I hope you feel better soon

We haven't had a good long linguistics rant from you in a while!! How about you tell us about your favourite lingustical feature or occurrence in a language? Something like a weird grammatical feature or how a language changed

If this doesn't trigger any rant you have stored feel free to educate on any topic you can spontaneously think of, I'd love to hear it :D

ALRIGHT KARO, let's go!! This is a continuation of the other ask I answered recently, and is the second part in a series about linguistic complexity. I suggest you check that one out first for this to properly make sense! (I don't know how to link but uh. it's the post behind this on my blog)

Summary of previous points: the complexity of a language has nothing to do with the 'complexity' of the people that speak it; complexity is really bloody hard to measure; some linguists in an attempt to be not racist argue that 'all languages are equally complex', but this doesn't really seem to be the case, and also still equates cognitive ability with complexity of language which is just...not how things work; arguing languages have different amounts of complexity has literally nothing to do with the cognitive abilities of those who speak it.

Ok. Chinese.

Normally when we look at complexity we like to look at things like number of verb classes, noun classes, and so on. But Chinese doesn't really do any of this.

So what do Chinese and languages like Chinese do that is so challenging to the equicomplexity hypothesis, the idea that all languages are equally complex? I’ll start by talking about some of the common properties of isolating languages - and these properties are often actually used as examples of why these languages are as complex, just in different ways. Oh Melissa, I hear you ask in wide-eyed admiration/curiousity. What are they? By isolating languages, I mean languages that tend to have monosyllabic words, little to no conjugation, particles instead of verb or noun endings, and so on: so languages like Vietnamese, Chinese, Thai and many others in East and South East Asia.

Here’s a list of funky things in isolating languages that may or may not make a language more complex than linguists don't really know what to do with:

Classifiers

Chengyu and 4-word expressions

Verb reduplication, serialisation and resultative verbs

'Lexical verbosity' = complex compounding and word forming strategies

Pragmatics

Syntax

I'll talk about the first two briefly, but I don't have space for all. For clarity of signposting my argument: many linguists use these as explanations of why languages like Chinese are as complex, but I'm going to demonstrate afterwards why the situation is a bit more complicated than that. You could even say it's...complex.

1) Classifiers

You know about classifiers in Chinese, but what you may be interested to learn is that almost all isolating languages in South East Asia use them, and many in fact borrow from each other. The tonal, isolating languages in South East Asia have historically had a lot of contact through intense trade and migration, and as such share a lot of properties. Some classifiers just have to go with the noun: 一只狗，一条河 etc. First of all, if we're defining complexity as 'the added stuff you have to remember when you learn it' (my professors hate me), it's clear that these are added complexity in exactly the same way gender is. Why is it X, and not Y? Well, you can give vague answers ('it's sort of...ribbony' or 'it's kinda...flat'), but more often than not you choose the classifier based on the vibe. Which is something you just have to remember.

Secondly, many classifiers actually have the added ability to modify the type of noun they're describing. These are familiar too in languages like English: a herd of cattle versus a head of cattle. So we have 一枝花 which is a flower but on a stem ('a stem of flower'), but also 一朵花 which is a flower but without the stem (think like...'a blob of flower'). Similarly with clouds - you could have a 一朵云 'blob of cloud' (like a nice, fluffy cloud in a children's book), but you could also have 一片云 which is like a huge, straight flat cloud like the sea...and so on. These 'measure words' do more than measure: they add additional information that the noun itself does not give.

Already we're beginning to see the outline of the problem. Grammatical complexity is...well, grammatical. We count the stuff which languages require you to express, not the optional stuff - and that's grammar. The difference between better and best is clearly grammatical, as is go and went. But what about between 'a blob of cloud' versus 'a plain of cloud'? Is that grammatical? Well, maybe: you do have to include a measure word when you say there's one of it, and in many Chinese languages that are not Mandarin you have to include them every single time you use a possessive: my pair of shoes, my blob of flower etc. But you don't always have to include one specific classifier - there are multiple options, all of which are grammatical. So should we include classifiers as part of the grammar? Or part of the vocabulary (the 'lexicon')?

Err. Next?

2) Chengyu and 4-character expressions + 4) Lexical verbosity

This might seem a bit weird: these are obviously parts of the vocab! What's weirder, though, is that many isolating languages have chengyu, not just Chinese. And if you don't use them, many native speakers surveys suggest you don't sound native. This links to point number 4, which is lexical verbosity. 'Lexical verbosity' means a language has the ability to express things creativity, in many different manners, all of which may have a slightly different nuance. The kind of thing you love to read and analyse and hate to translate.

But it is important. If we look at the systems that make up the grand total of a language, vocabulary is obviously one of them: a language with 1 million root forms is clearly more 'complex', if all else is exactly the same, than a language with 500,000. Without even getting into the whole debacle about 'what even is a word', a language that has multiple registers (dialect, regional, literary, official etc) that all interact is always going to be more complex than one that doesn't, just because there's more of it. More rules, more words, more stuff.

Similarly, something that is the backbone of modern Chinese 'grammar' and yet you may never have thought of as such is is compound words. We don't tend to traditionally teach this as grammar, and I don't have time to give a masterclass on it now, but let me assure you that compounding - across the world's language - is hugely varied. Some languages let you make anything a compound; some only allow noun+noun compounds (so no 'blackbird', as black is an adjective); some only allow head+head compound (so no 'sabretooth', because a sabretooth is a type of tiger, not tooth); some only allow compounds one way ('ring finger' but not 'finger ring': though English does allow the other way around in some other words), and so on.

You'll have heard time and time again that 'Chinese is an isolating language, and isolating languages like monosyllabic words'. Well. Sort of. You will also have noticed yourself that actually most modern Chinese words are disyllabic: 学习，工作，休息，吃饭 and so on. This is radically different to Classical Chinese, where the majority were genuinely one syllable. But many Chinese speakers still have access to the words in the compounds, and so they can be manipulated on a character-by-character basis: most adults will be able to look at 学习 and understand that 学 and 习 both exist as separate words: 开学，学生，复习，练习 and so on.

I'm going to sort of have to ask you to take my word on it as I don't have time to prove how unique it is, but the ability that Chinese has to turn literally anything into a compound is staggering. It's insane. It's...oh god I'm tearing up slightly it's just a LOT guys ok. It's a lot. There are 20000000 synonyms for anything you could ever want, all with slightly different nuances, because unlike many other languages, Chinese allows compounds where the two bits of the compound mean, largely speaking, very similar things. So yes, you have compounds like 开学 which is the shortened version of 开始学习, or ones with an object like 吃饭 or 睡觉, but you also have compounds like 工作 where both 工 and 作 kind of...mean 'to work'...and 休息 where both 休 and 息 mean 'to rest'...and so on. So you can have 感 and 情 and 爱 and 心 but also 感情 and 情感 and 爱情 and 情爱 and 心情 and 心爱 and 爱心 and so on, and they all mean different things. And don't even get me started on resultative verbs: 学到，学会，学好，学完， and so on...

What is all of this, if not complex? It's not grammatical - except that the process of compound forming, that allows for so many different compounds, is grammatical. We can't make the difference between学会，学好 and 学完 anywhere near as easily in English, and in Chinese you do sort of have to add the end bit. So...do we count this under complexity? And if not, we should probably count it elsewhere? Because it's kind of insane. And learners have to use it, much like the example I gave of English prepositions, and it takes them a bloody long time. But then where?

Ok. I haven't had a chance to talk about everything, but you get the picture: there are things in Chinese that, unlike European languages, do not neatly fit into the 'grammar' versus 'vocabulary' boxes we have built for ourselves, because as a language it just works very differently to the ones we've used as models. (Though some of the problems, in fact, are similar: German is also very adept at compounding.) But as interesting as that difference is, the goal of typology as a sub-discipline of linguistics is to talk about and research the types of linguistic diversity around the world, so we can't stop there by acknowledging our models don't fit. We have to go further. We have to stop, and think: What does this mean for the models that we have built?

This is where we get into theoretically rather boggy ground. We weren't before?? No, like marsh of the dead boggy. Linguists don't know it...they go round, for miles and miles and miles....

Because unfortunately there isn't a clear answer. If we dismiss these things as 'lexical' and therefore irrelevant to the grammar, that is a) ignoring their grammatical function, b) ignoring the fact that the lexicon is also a system that needs to be learnt, and has often very clear rules on word-building that are also 'grammatical', and c) essentially playing a game of theoretical pass-the-parcel. It's your problem, not mine: it's in the lexicon, not the grammar. Blah blah blah. Because whoever's problem it is, we still have to account for this complexity somehow when we want to compare literally any languages that are substantially different at all.

On the other side of things, however, if we argue that 'Chinese is as complex as Abkhaz, because it makes up for a lack of complexity in Y by all this complexity in X' (and therefore all languages = equally complex), this ignores the fact that compounding and irregular verbs belong to two very different systems. The kind of mistake you make when you use the wrong classifier intuitively seems to be on another level of 'wrongness' to the kind where you conjugate a verb in the wrong way. One is 'wrong'. The other is just 'not what we say'. It's the same as the use of prepositions in English: some are obviously wrong (I don't sleep 'at my bed') but some are just weird, and for many there are multiple options ('at the weekend', 'on the weekend'). Is saying 'I am on the town' the same level of wrongness as saying 'I goed to the shops'? Intuitively we might want to say the second is a 'worse' mistake. In which case, what are they exactly? They're both 'grammar', but totally different systems. And where do you draw the line?

Here's the thing about the equicomplexity argument. As established, it stems from a nice ideological background that nevertheless conflates cognition and linguistic complexity. Once you realise that no, the two are completely separate, you're under no theoretical or ideological compulsion to have languages be equally complex at all. Why should they be at all? Some languages just have more stuff in them: some have loads of vowels, and loads of consonants, and some have loads of grammar. Others have less. They all do basically the same job. Why is that a big deal?

Where the argument comes into its biggest problem, though, is that if a language like Chinese is already as complex as a language like Abkhaz...what happens when we meet Classical Chinese?

Classical Chinese. An eldritch behemoth lurking with tendrils of grass-style calligraphy belching perfect prose just behind the horizon.

Let's look at Modern Chinese for a moment. It has some particles: six or so, depending on how you count them. You could include these as being critical to the grammar, and they are.

A common dictionary of Classical Chinese particles lists 694.

To be fair, a lot of these survive as verbs, nouns and so on. Classical Chinese was very verb-schmerb when it came to functional categories, and most nouns can be verbs, and vice versa. It's all just about the vibe. But still. Six hundred and ninety four.

Some of these are optional - they're the nice 'omggg' equivalent of the modern tone particles at the end of a sentence. Some of them are smushed versions of two different particles, like 啦. Some of these, however, really do seem to have very grammatical features. Of these 694, 17 are listed as meaning ‘subsequent to and later than X’, and 8 indicate imposition of a stress upon the word they precede or follow. Some are syntactic: there are, for instance, 8 different particles solely for the purpose of fronting information: 'the man saw he'. That is very much a grammatical role, in every sense of the word.

The copula system ('to be') is also huuuuuuugely complex. I could write a whole other post about this, but I'll just say for now that the copula in Classical Chinese could be specific to degrees of logical preciseness that would make the biggest Lojban-loving computer programmer weep into his Star Trek blanket. As in, the system of positive copulas distinguishes between 6 different polar-positive copulas (A is B), 2 insistent positive (A is B), 19 restricted positive (A is only B), and 15 of common inclusion (A is like B). Some other copulas can make such distinctions as ‘A becomes or acts as B’, ‘A would be B’, ‘may A not be B?’ and so on. Copulas may also be used in a sort of causal way (not 'casual'), creating very specific relationships like ‘A does not merely because of B’ or ‘A is not Y such that B is X’.

WHEW. And all we have in modern Chinese is 是。

I think we can see that this is a little more complex. So saying 'Modern Chinese is as complex as Abkhaz, just in a different way' leaves no space for Classical Chinese to be even more complex...so....where does that leave us?

Uhhhhhh. Errrrrr.

(Don't worry, that's basically where the entire linguistics community is at too.)

The thing is, all these weird and wacky things that Classical Chinese is able to do are all optional. This is where the problem is. Our understanding of complexity, if you hark back to my last post so many moons ago, is that it's the description of what a language requires you to do. We equate that with grammar because in most of the languages we're familiar with, you can't just pick and choose whether to conjugate a verb or use a tense. If you are talking in third person, the verb has to change. It just...does. You can't not do it if you feel like it. There's not such thing as 'poetic license' - except in languages like Classical Chinese, well. There sort of is.

The problem both modern Chinese and Classical Chinese shows us to a different extent is that some languages are capable of highly grammatical things, but with a degree of optionality we would not expect. Classical Chinese can accurately stipulate to the Nth degree what, exactly, the grammatical relationship between two agents are in a way that is undoubtedly and even aggressively logical. But...it doesn't have to. As anybody who has tried anything with Classical Chinese knows, reading things without context is an absolute fucking nightmare. As a language it has the ability to also say something like 臣臣 which in context means 'when a minister acts as a minister'...but literally just means...minister minister. Go figure. It doesn't have to do any of these myriad complex things it's capable of at all.

So...what does this mean? What does all of this mean, for the question of whether all languages are equally complex?

Whilst I agree that the situation with Classical Chinese is fully batshit insane, the fact is most isolating languages are more like Modern Chinese: they don't do all of this stuff. And whilst classifiers and compounds are challenging, they're not quite the same as the strict binary correct/incorrect of many systems. I'm also just not convinced that languages need to be equally complex. However.

HOWEVER. In this essay/rant/lecture (?), I've raised more questions than I've answered. That's deliberate. I both think that a) the type of complexity Chinese shows is not 'enough' to work as a 'trade off' compared to languages like Abkhaz, and b) that this 'grammatical verbosity' and optionality of grammatical structures is something we don't know how to deal with at all. These are two beliefs that can co-exist. Classical Chinese especially is a huge challenge to current understandings of complexity, whichever side of the equicomplexity argument you stand on.

Because where do you place optionality in all of this? Choice? If a certain structure can express something grammatical, but you don't have to include it - is that more complex, or less so? Where do we rank optional features in our understanding of grammar? It's a totally new dimension, and adds a richness to our understanding that we simply wouldn't have got if we hadn't looked at isolating languages. This, right here, is the point of typology: to inform theory, and challenge it.

What do we do with this sort of complexity at all?

I don't know. And I don't think many professional linguists do either.

- meichenxi out

[minor-solemnity]

Request:

Pairing: Tom x oc/reader

Summary:

Tom and oc go to the slug club yearly galla and oc is the loud Gryffindor 2nd in class and her and tom have been nemesis for long but the sexual tension is real and then tom sees her dancing with potter ..

Slughorn is like “ahh two of my favourite students” and he introduced them to a lot of people and a little girl spills something on tom and oc defends the girl and slughorn is like why dont you help him change oc ( as tom had some injury and was drenched and couldn’t change on his own ) and when they fight all the way to his dorm and she only agrees because slughorn tells her to and then when she helps him out of his shirt there is a lot of sexual tension and then kiss or maybe have sex in his dorm

And in the end she ends up sleeping on his bed and he like sees her face glisten in the moon light and is like fuck i like her even though he was trying to convince himself he didnt care abt her throughout the party ? And in the morning she is like well you slytherins have great beds you rich aristocrats or something and he just laughs and kisses her and malfoy is like well who would have thought the slytherin ice cold king and the Gryffindor lioness

I dont know feel free to change it up and if you donr want to then thats ok too it would mean a great deal to me if you write it no pressure tho..( going anon because i am shy )

~ red

Heyyy so I took a few liberties and this is gonna be a two parter because I have zero chill apparently but I hope you like this, Red! 

Next part will be up in a day or two :)

Never Gonna Give (You Up) Pt.1

You smile up at him as innocently as you can. You know you shouldn’t bait him. You know you’re being immature. You know that if this night descends into one of your usual verbal sparring matches you won’t be impressing anyone, let alone Christella Beaufort. But something about him brings out the worst in you. Makes you feel slightly wrong-footed which in turn makes you want to push and needle until he reacts.

You take a moment to marvel at the decorations for this year’s Saturnalia party. Every year, Slughorn seems to set himself an unofficial challenge to out-do himself with more elaborate designs. This year, the theme is clear: gold. Just lots and lots of gold. From the tablecloths to the chairs, to the golden snowflakes that melt into nothing a couple of feet above your head, to the floor which has been charmed so that whenever you take a step you leave a shimmering footprint in your wake. It’s bright and festive and you can’t help but smirk at the thought of Tom Riddle being stuck in a room full of Gryffindor colours. 

Speaking of the devil, you spy Riddle talking to Slughorn and one of the Ministry officials that often grace Slughorn’s get-togethers. You don’t particularly want to go over and talk to him, but you do want to make yourself known to Slughorn and find out if he managed to Christella Beaufort on the list this year. She’s the Head Curse-Breaker at Gringott’s, fiercely independent, highly intelligent, and so tenacious she had singlehandedly opened the door to witches wanting to go into the profession. In short, she’s your idol.

“Come on, Potter. We’ve got pleasantries to make and hands to grease.” You grab Fleamont’s hand who you’re attending the party with (as friends - you’ve made it very clear to him that you’re not interested in finding out whether his skills on a broom translate off the pitch). With that, you stride over to the drinks table where Slughorn and Riddle are chatting, Fleamont stumbling after you, his hand still locked in yours.

“Professor,” You greet Slughorn with a warm smile, “I have to say, you’ve outdone yourself once again. I’m particularly fond of the colour scheme this year.”

“Ahh, my dear girl, how lovely of you to join us!” Slughorn cries jovially. He pats your shoulder and you watch as his eyes slide to your hand, which is still clasped around Fleamonts. And (not that you care) you notice that Riddle’s eyes are also fixed on your intertwined hands. You let go of Fleamont’s hand and it has nothing to do with the frown that’s now marring Riddle’s brow.  He casts a fond (and slightly calculating, truth be told) eye over the three of you. “My three best students! First, second, and third.” Your smile turns strained and over Slughorn’s shoulder, Riddle’s charming smile turns smug.

Slughorn introduces you to the Ministry official - a boring looking man who you promptly forget the name of but who Fleamont seems entirely taken by. Before you know it, Potter has abandoned you to talk shop with Slughorn and Mr Ministry and you’re left with Riddle.

Lovely.

Just. Lovely.

At least there’s champagne. The other professors might disapprove but in all your years of Slug Club Saturnalias, Slughorn has never once skimped on the champagne. You reach for a glass and look at Riddle with a critical eye, searching for any imperfections. Frustratingly, you can’t find any. Riddle is, as per usual, the most handsome man in the room. Pale skin, impossibly dark eyes, refined features and cheekbones as sharp as his tongue. Metaphorically speaking. Though the idea of Riddle with a forked tongue is enough to make you snort into your champagne flute. 

Riddle’s attention snaps to you and he raises an eyebrow, unimpressed, impatient, annoyed with you already and making absolutely no attempt to hide it. “Did you find something amusing?” 

“Oh, no. I was just taking in your general appearance,” You say, waving a handle vaguely towards him. You smile up at him as innocently as you can. You know you shouldn’t bait him. You know you’re being immature. You know that if this night descends into one of your usual verbal sparring matches you won’t be impressing anyone, let alone Christella Beaufort. But something about him brings out the worst in you. Makes you feel slightly wrong-footed which in turn makes you want to push and needle until he reacts. It doesn’t help that the rivalry you’ve had with him since first year has only become more intense and heated as you’ve gotten older. 

His eyes narrow and he drags his gaze across your body. The moment stretches and your cheeks flame as his eyes follow the nip of your waist and the curve of your hips. Your mouth goes dry. Because this is another thing that you hate about Riddle: he never fails to make your stomach swoop. By the time he raises his eyes back to yours, his expression is one of ironic amusement. “Colour me impressed,” He murmurs, angling his body ever so slightly towards you and you have to force yourself not to take a step back. “You actually look… passable this evening.”

Prat.

You should walk away. You should find one of the fancy people that you’ve been desperate to meet since your invitation arrived a month ago. 

You don’t.

You stay and bicker with Riddle, throwing increasingly caustic taunts and jibes at each other whilst you sip champagne and pretend that you’d rather be anywhere else. You realise about twenty minutes into a debate about Minister for Magic Spencer-Moon’s policies (you rather like the pro-muggle legislature he’s attempting to pass and Riddle thinks you’re being horribly naive) that Riddle is still here. Which, well, obviously he’s still here; he’s talking to you right now in that same condescending tone he uses to tell students off for staying out past curfew. But he doesn’t have to be. Riddle is as ambitious as you are, more so, even. So why has he spent most of the evening with you and not sucking up to the many rich and talented witches and wizards in attendance tonight?

You glance around the room, suddenly aware that it hadn’t even occurred to you to leave. You’ve been so wrapped up in your conversation that everything else had just sort of… faded away. For reasons you are unwilling to examine too closely, you feel yourself grow warm. Riddle is still talking, gesturing animatedly with his champagne flute, looking horrendously handsome and like… oh Merlin, he looks like he’s enjoying himself. And that is… Well, quite frankly, that’s enough to make your brain grind to halt from shock.

You’re saved from your inner turmoil by Fleamont who appears at your side and wraps a hand around your waist. Riddle’s expression shutters. He looks at Fleamont’s arm around your waist and sneers and, for reasons beyond your grasp, you have to bite your tongue to stop yourself from explaining that Fleamont is just a friend. Fleamont, oblivious as always, grins and asks you to dance and you can’t bring yourself to look at Riddle as he leads you away to the dance floor. 

Fleamont is a good dancer. You suppose this is to be expected from the heir to one of the oldest pureblood families in Britain. You imagine that he learnt to waltz before he learnt to walk. You try to focus on the dance, on the way that Fleamont spins you around the room causing your dress robes to fan out around you in an elegant circle but out of the corner of your eye you can see Riddle watching you. He’s subtle about it, you’re fairly sure that no one else would notice, but even as he makes conversation with a wizard you vaguely recognise as Ensio Kiimamaa, widely regarded as the leading Potions Master in contemporary wizarding society, his eyes flicker to where you’re dancing with Fleamont. 

You’re really not sure what to make of it.

The dance ends, and Fleamont makes a show of bowing and offering you his arm, which you take with an exasperated laugh. “Let’s go talk to Kiimamaa, I hear he’s thinking about taking on apprentices next year.” As little as you want to go near Riddle for the rest of the night, you can’t think of a good reason to object, so you nod begrudgingly and walk over, trying to convince yourself that the trepidation you feel is a result of being introduced to Kiimamma and not because of the way Riddle’s looking at you.

You make your introductions and Kiimamma begins to explain his latest discovery: a highly acidic venom harvested from the Icelandic water-dwelling vatnaormar. He produces a vial of dark liquid, uncorks it and passes it around the three of you. “It’s highly dangerous to touch, but I’ve found that a sniff of it can induce heightened concentration and focus - I hope to find a way of incorporating it in a potion that’s safe to drink.” 

Riddle holds the uncorked venom delicately between his fingers, raising it up to the light to observe the venom and then time seems to speed up and slow down all at once as you watch in horror as two things happen almost simultaneously. 

First: A little girl, who you assume to be Kiimamma’s daughter, shakes free of Slughorn’s hold on her arm and bounds over, waving her arms excitedly before losing her balance and crashing into Riddle. Second: the uncorked vial slips from Riddle’s fingers and the venom arches in an elegant curve through the air before it splatters across Riddle’s chest.

The effect is immediate. The venom tears through Riddle’s dress robes in almost no time at all and his skin begins to burn, leaving awful red and pink welts on the pale skin of his chest. The little girl starts wailing and Slughorn and Kiimamma start flapping their hands.

Riddle’s eyes flash in pain and anger and embarrassment and he completely forgets his usual charm and grace as he rounds on the girl. Before he can start yelling at her as he so clearly intends to, you step forward and place your hand on the girl’s shoulder. “It was an accident, Riddle. She didn’t mean to.” You say and then add in a low tone so that only he can hear, “She’s his daughter. Don’t fucking yell at her.” His gaze snaps to yours and there’s a moment when you think he’s going to yell anyway before his jaw clenches and he gives you a single tight nod.

“Riddle, my poor boy, you must go to the hospital wing. Not to worry, I’m sure Madam Montague will be able to sort you out in a flash.” Later, you will be able to appreciate Slughorn’s ability to sound jolly in even the direst of circumstances. Right now, you just find it rather insensitive. Slughorn turns to you and with slightly pleading eyes asks you to escort Riddle. Try as you might, you can’t think of a good reason not to, so with a vaguely helpless glance to Fleamont, you grudgingly nod, scowling at the ground in annoyance.

You loop your arm through Riddle’s and he stiffens under your touch. You repress the urge to roll your eyes and begin to make your way out of the room, ignoring Riddle’s laboured breathing and the slight trembling of his shoulders. It’s only as you get to the door that you notice a tall, dark-haired witch with a jagged scar crossing the length of her face steps out of the floo. Christella Beaufort, the one person who you had wanted to meet tonight has arrived and you’re not going to get to even say hello.

(part 1) (part 2)

[theji]

我的世界守则 The Rules of My World: An Analysis

I came across this video while browsing Weibo last night. It was taken during Yibo's rehearsal for his 'The Rules of My World' performance. I've listened to the song countless times and I like it, the rhythm and all, and the dance. But as with many rap music, I don't pay attention to the lyrics. I suddenly realised I don't really know what the song is talking about, save for the few phrases that stood out. That sparked my interest and inspired today's post. I had previously done some analysis of Zhan's songs, so it's Yibo's turn.

Disclaimer: I am not a professional translator or lyricist. And obviously I'm not Yibo nor do I know him personally, so I can't say for sure what the song is really about. The following analysis is purely based on my personal interpretation. It has CPN components. Please skip if you don't believe that BJYXSZD.

'The Rules of My World' is the 2nd song that Yibo penned the lyrics to himself. The fact that he wrote the lyrics is significant and makes the song worth analysing. 2019's 'Wu Gan' was more 'inward-looking'; about Yibo expressing his own thoughts on navigating the entertainment industry. To me, 'The Rules of My World' is him making a statement, a stand, at the same time, he's sending a message to those he cares about - GG and his (real) fans. Yibo released this song on 30 Dec 2020. The timing is interesting cos it like he's summing up his sentiments based on the events that took place during the year. To outsiders, 2020 was a good year for Yibo. He had many endorsements, projects, high exposure, his commercial value rose. But in CPN reality, 2020 was terrible for so many reasons. GG's incident, him being overworked, crazy fan wars and antis etc etc..anyone who cares about Yibo would be delusional to think he had it good last year.

欢迎你们来加入我的世界 (You're welcome to join my world)

入场券上面有正义的光源 (There's a light of justice on the admission ticket)

DD is giving fans an open invitation to enter his world, to understand him as a person and not just an idol. And he also hopes that his world can bring some light to the fans' world, to bring some positivity, encouragement and guidance to them.

此生面对严厉又仁慈的一切 (In this life we'll face harshness but also kindness)

轻松一点，我们一起度过黑夜 (Just relax, together we'll overcome darkness)

In the entertainment world (or life in general), there will be ups and downs, criticisms and compliments. Regardless of what may come, we can overcome any challenges together. Darkness here could also refer to the antis who seem determined to bring GGDD down. This could be a message to fans - to tell them that they don't always have to rush to defend him, and they don't need to retaliate (aka fan wars). It could also be a message to GG, to make a stand of solidarity and to reassure GG that DD will face any challenges alongside him.

新的征途 (A new journey)

愚蠢的，不好相处 (These fools, they aren't easy to get along with)

愚蠢的，不会打住 (These fools, they won't stop)

但衬托明天更耀眼的路 (But they will set off a brighter path for tomorrow)

It was said that DD matured considerably after the 2*7 incident. Took up more responsibility, became more focused on his career and mindful of future advancements etc. Started to take on more serious acting projects and to shift his career trajectory towards something more sustainable and less 'idol'. The new journey could be a reference to this new path. The fools - the antis, those against GGDD - may have caused damage but their actions have also sparked off DD's desire to do better and to find his footing in the entertainment industry. He now has a clearer view of what he wants, the path he wants to take.

我是我的样子 (This is how I am)

我生来就固执 (I was born stubborn)

讲自己的故事 (I'll tell my own story)

活独特的气质 (Living my unique self)

Follow me, 找到自己的价值 (Follow me, find your own value)

不去迎合别人活 才会觉得有意思 (Life is interesting if you don't cater to others)

我的世界不退让 (It's my world I won't give in)

我的世界不退让 (It's my world I won't give in)

Here, DD is being assertive. This is me, I follow my own rules, I'll make my own decisions, I'll forge my own path, I won't be influenced, I won't give up on my beliefs. So antis, capitalists etc can f*ck off.

It could also be seen as an advice to his fans - to follow his lead and live their own lives. This is also something that GG has repeatedly said to fans - to focus on their own lives, personal relationships, studies, careers etc. Don't devote so much time on chasing idols, online fan wars etc.

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

乐观地，走向前 (Just move forward with optimism)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

无所谓，多危险 (Doesn't matter how dangerous it is)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

这是我的世界 (This is my world)

我世界的守则，不许你诡辩 (These are the rules of my world, I won't allow any sophistry)

I see this as DD's words of encouragement, to himself and to GG. Despite all the challenges and hardship, darkness will pass and the sun will come out eventually. And it's shining brightly, there is hope left in this world, there's is much to look forward to. So don't fear, be brave and forge ahead.

Sophistry: the use of clever but false arguments, especially with the intention of deceiving

Poor DD is always hit with industry rumours, about him dating his co-stars etc. Last year, someone even made a false police report against him. Just look at the number of statements his company had to put out. There have also always been ongoing rumours about rivalry between GGDD, tales of backstabbing etc, especially in 2020 at the height of the incident. DD is saying that this is his life, his world. No one knows better than the both of them. So to those who don't know better but continue to spew nonsense about his life and relationships and spread hate, know that I don't care about your antics, they don't hurt me but I won't tolerate them as well.

在我世界行走 (Walking in my world)

什么人生主题你透露 (What kind of life theme do you envisage)

是胆大勇猛所向披靡 (Is it to be bold, courageous and invincible)

或胆小逃避钻进壳里 (Or to be timid and escape into your shell)

喧闹倾诉众人party (Is it to pour out your troubles at a rowdy party)

寂寞相思不停地哭泣 (Or to cry silently non-stop out of loneliness and love-sickness)

都欢迎你来我这里 (All are welcome)

只要��从自己的内心 (So long as you follow your heart)

跟限制和噪音 说一声 bang bang (I'll say 'Bang Bang' to restriction and noises)

怪兽都退散 (Monsters, be gone)

What kind of person am I in your eyes? The cool guy or soft sweet babie Yibo? Here, DD is acknowledging that the public has many different perceptions of him, and fans love different personas of him and he's ok with that. But if you love him, then let him be. Don't try to restrict him, don't quarrel or force him into a certain mould of your preference. He won't hesitate to shoot the haters (monsters) down.

迈出轻盈的步伐 (Take a light step forward)

一声令下 (With a single command)

来宣布 告别孤勇 (To announce a farewell to having to fight alone)

On this new path, with a new-found realisation of what he wants, DD is clear of what he wants to achieve and he is no longer burdened by fear, uncertainties etc. Both GGDD now have each other by their sides, they share a common purpose as they navigate the intricacies of the entertainment industry together and work their way to the top. And I think this is something that we're seeing more in the fandom since end 2020 - GGDD seemingly becoming more bold in their actions and messages they put out (silent or otherwise).

想要做盘旋的龙 (Wanna be a hovering dragon)

还想做懒散的虫 (Or a lazy worm)

别打扰我 走开 没空 (Don't bother me, go away, I have no time for that)

In public, DD is that proud and confident king. He's not a pushover. But behind the cameras, he just wants to chill and relax (and play games). Please don't bother me, give me some privacy to lead my own life, don't tell me what I can or cannot do.

Cue DD's message. He meant it.

Follow me, 找到自己的价值 (Follow me, find your own value)

不去迎合别人活 才会觉得有意思 (Life is interesting if you don't cater to others)

我们永远不退让 (We will never give in)

我们永远不退让 (We will never give in)

This is a repetition of the earlier verse but what has changed is the last 2 lines. From <It's my world I won't give in>, DD now says <We will never give in>. This was actually the first thing that sparked off my CPN, and hinted to me that this song concerns GG in some ways. Who's We? We all know how GGDD almost always use the word 'we' in their CQL promo interviews and bts, as though they come as a package and all views represent both of them as a entity. This also echoes the earlier sentiments - both of them, after the 2020 incident, have developed a steely resolve. They won't let the antis or challenges or societal views hold them back anymore. Their world, their rules. They will fight for their rights and what they believe in, and they are determined to reach their goals.

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

乐观地 走向前 (Just move forward with optimism)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

无所谓 多危险 (Doesn't matter how dangerous it is)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

这是我的世界 (This is my world)

我们的世界不会被改变 (Our world will never be changed)

Again, similar to the above 'we' example. From this part of the song onwards, DD is referring to them both. The last line could also be viewed as an affirmation of GGDD's commitment to each other. Whatever is it, our relationship will not change. We will go through it all together.

Don‘t stop, get it, get it

Let me see you work up on it

Don’t stop, get it, get it

Let me see you all up on it

Let me see you work up on it

Don‘t stop, get it, get it

Don't stop

Hey

I interpret this as DD's words of encouragement to GG. Like don't stop fighting, continue to work hard towards your (our) goals. Go for it, you can do it!

在我的世界 (In my world)

本能很关键 (Instinct is the key)

坚持自己 (Stay true to yourself)

就是你们的世界 (It is your world)

DD's parting words to fans: to stay true to oneself, to build and enrich your own worlds, to fight for your goals, like how he is trying.

Well, I had fun working on this. Maybe I'll do Wu Gan another time. Reminded me of literature class during my schooling days, although I never did Chinese literature back then. Feel free to share your thoughts on the song with me. =D

[sweetchup]

Little Fish; Big Fish

Type: Rin Obami x reader

Au?: None

Word Count: About 10,000 words

Warnings: Don’t think I need to say this but just in case, Yumeko and Kirari (Enough said). (This is also Kakegurui so everyone is a little bit insane)

Author note: Why is it always the smiley and soft looking boys that are actually bad guys that I simp for? Someone help.

“Are you nervous?”

Kirari's powerful voice resounds throughout the empty student council room and catches you off guard. At her sudden question, or rather statement, you can’t help but notice that your hands, that were holding your cards, were in fact shaking.

Ever so slightly, you begin to loosen the grip you had on the cards, hoping (practically praying at this point) to stop the shaking. Though, it was a futile attempt in the end as you still had ever so slight small twitches throughout your whole body that gave you away.  

How did you get in this mess?

That’s the question you have been asking yourself ever since you got Kirari’s gamble invitation. One, you still haven’t understood why she would give you in the first place. After all, you weren’t rich. Not even in the slightest way. Both of your parents had normal office jobs and the only reason you had even got accepted into this school was due to your grandfather having worked here as a teacher in the past.

There was also the fact you didn’t gamble. Though, it wasn’t just because you couldn’t, it was also because you weren’t interested. The chips used in betting were often millions of yen anyways and you didn’t feel the joy of ending up in debt for the rest of your life. At the very least however, you understood why so many flocked to the thrill of gambling. The many times you ran into Yumeko Jabami and were roped into watching her nonsense with her gang of friends proved that.

But still…., even with being friends with Yumeko Jabami, you were still utterly nothing. Just someone that adorned the school halls. A wallflower that had somehow, through some unknown luck, has avoided becoming a housepet. So, just why were you here. It made no—

The sudden noise of Kirari placing her cards down on the table snaps you out of your thoughts. For the first time since you arrived, you finally gain the courage to glance at her face.

With her electric blue eyes that almost seemed to glow and a small, ever so slightly, smile that graced her also blue lips, you can’t help but gulp. You knew what was about to happen wasn’t good.

“(Y/n) (l/n). That’s who you are, right?”  Kirari inquires, leaning back in her chair slightly as she turns her attention to the massive fish tank in the room. “You are the eldest daughter and only child of your (l/n) family name. With most of your family being mere pawns of larger companies. Honestly, your income is hardly a cent compared to other students at our school.”

You bite the edge of your lip slightly. It was the truth but you wished she didn’t have to spell it out so bluntly.

“Yet,...” Kirari turns her gaze back to you, “You still have lasted longer, even better, than others at this school. I wonder how...”

As she finishes her sentence, Kirari reaches over to examine a small box of traditional Japanese sweets. A box she had won off of you in the last round. Even though she had frazed her last sentence as a question, you could tell she already knew her own answer.

“I will admit, the strategy you have come up with to survive is actually incredibly smart. If you are ever forced to gamble, you bet these sweets you bought from some commoner’s shop. Since most students here don't know the price of average items, They over bet what the equivalent price is. Letting you have quite the side profit when you do happen to win.”

“Ah yes… it’s really all I can afford…” You say, letting out a small chuckle at the end in hopes of lightening the room. Which thankfully, on your end, does as Kirari laughs along as well.

“You know... I have something that could possibly help with that ‘wealth problem’ of yours.“

Caught off guard by her sudden statement, you looked at her bewildered.

“What do you mean by that?” You say in an unsure light filled tone, hoping she was just joking.

“Well, I heard from—“

However, before Kirari could finish what she was proposing, the student council doors open with a loud bang. Startling you so much you almost drop your cards. However, Kirari does not even flinch in the slightest. Almost as if she expected that to happen.

“Hello (y/n)!!” Yumi shouts out to you as she pushes Terano into the room along with Ibara following in tow. Once the pinked hair male notices you, he quickly walks, more like runs, over to your side.

“You didn’t lose anything right?” Ibara asks as he peers down at the table of cards. He must have noticed you were gone from morning classes today and had searched to come find you.

“A-ah nothing big. Just two boxes of candy.” You tell your classmate and friend as he checks your bag. Though, your answer doesn’t seem to reassure him in any way.

“I think that’s enough betting for today. Let’s go, break is about to end anyways.” Ibara states as he practically tries to drag you out of your seat.

“O-ok. Well, I better get going then. Thanks for the small game Kirari.” You say, giving the president a small bow as you stand and proceed to grab your bag.

“(Y/n),” You pause at what you are doing when you suddenly feel a hand scooping your cheek, looking up you see Kirari leaning over at the table. “If you want to hear the rest of my proposal, come stop by.”

Almost in a trance, perhaps it was her angelic looks that caused it, you can’t help but nod.

“Good. I will await for your arrival—“

“Kirari,” Kirari is once again cut off as Terano speaks. The two stare at each other, almost as if they are exchanging in some sort of conversation. You can’t tell what was being said but you noticed the atmosphere of the room had grown rather tense.

“Let’s leave…,” Ibara whispers in your ear as he gives your arm a light tug.

“Ok…” You give Terano a small bow and smile in thanks before you leave the room with Ibara. As the door finally closes with a loud thud, Terano lets out a heavy sigh.

“Can’t you for once in your life not treat something as some sort of gamble?”

Kirari can’t help but raise an eyebrow at Terano’s bold statement. It seemed she was right about the fact the other family members have grown attached to (y/n) as well.

“Well, it would be rather boring to watch on the sidelines.” Kirari says as she looks over to her fish tank. Just as she does so, two fishes appear, one big and one small. Even though there was a major difference in size, they weren’t hostile to each other and were actually being careful to not swim too far away from the other. “Rin Obami is painfully obviously in love with (y/n) (l/n) and I have a small hunch she does as well. Yet, neither has confessed and the slow game they are playing is starting to get rather boring. So, I just felt the need to spice things up a little.”

Suddenly, in the tank, another big fish appears and it is heading straight towards the smaller fish. It clearly plans to devour it.

“Still that isn’t your place to interfere.” Terano states pulling Kirari's attention away from the tank. Kirari watches as the girl before her suddenly scoffs, “What am I even saying… you don’t listen to logic anyways. I’m leaving, let’s go Yumi.”

“Okay Terano!”

As the two exit the room, Kirari stares at the closed door for a couple of seconds before turning her attention back to the tank. As she looks, she can’t find the three fish anymore and wonders what happened to them when she looked away. Was the small fish swallowed? Or did it perhaps run far away, leaving the bigger fish side?

Kirari can’t help but bite the edge of her nail in excitement as a sudden new thought comes across her mind.

Maybe…., both ended up being devoured. With the bigger fish attempting to save his smaller friend but failing and both perishing.

Kirari licks her lips as she walks over and presses herself up against the glass. Even in the off chance both of the fish did survive, it was only inevitable that another predator would soon pop up to try to devour the smaller fish again.

“Don’t get devoured so soon (y/n)... I wanna see you and Rin swim around more. Just struggling to stay alive.”

—.—.—.—.—.—.—

“Come on (y/n)! Can’t you tell me what Kirari proposed to you?” Ibara groans as he opens the door to your classroom. Most of the students of the Botan Class were already back from break and had already taken their seats.

“As I said before, I didn’t hear the full thing. Just that she wanted to help with my ‘wealth’ problem.”

After hearing Ibara let out another groan, you decide to just leave his side and walk back to your seat instead. You knew Ibara would still continue to press into you until you told Sumika, or Kawaru, to prove to him you were in fact telling the truth.

“(Y-y/n),” At the call of your name, you tilt your head up to see three of your female classmates standing near your desk. “Did you really get challenged by the President?”

“Hmm? Oh…” You take a glance to look at Ibara, who was two rows away, watching your conversation as well. Knowing that, you felt completely safe to tell the girls the truth, “I did actually. See?”

You pull out the invitation you got this morning to show the girls. As they excitedly go on to ask you questions, you can’t help but feel thankful that Ibara, and actually the rest of the “-Bami” branch families, transferred to Hyakkaou Private Academy.

Before they came, you weren’t treated as bad as a housepet but you were still looked down upon by many of your classmates. The only thing that stopped you from being bullied was your friendly gambles that kept your classmates excited for the next treat you could possibly bring in.

It was actually one of those friendly gambles that caused you to meet Rin and Ibara Obami, who had just transferred into your class, in the first place. Rin had actually thought that, based on your game, you were also from a swindler family. You didn’t quite get what he meant at the time (you actually felt slightly offended at the comment and yelled at him for it). But you soon understood what he was getting at when only a day later, a group of guys offered you way too much money and gifts for a haul of those treats.

Later that day, you begrudgingly apologized to Rin and, eventually over time, became friends with him and the rest of the “-Bami”s.

“Now, now ladies. I’m sure (y/n) can answer all of your questions later.” Speaking of the devil himself, you watch Rin take his seat right next to yours.

“O-ok Rin-sama.” You hold back a scoff as the girls run off, whispering and giggling amongst themselves. Even you, who doesn’t know how to swindle, noticed that Rin has only been buttering them up to use them as pawns later.

“So, (y/n),” Rin starts as he leans a little back in his chair and glances at you, “What happened with you and Kirari?”

“Ah. I’m actually not quite sure. I suddenly got this gamble invitation from her this morning and I know I definitely didn’t do anything recently to grab her attention.” You pick up the invitation to hand it off to Rin, slightly tensing as your fingers accidentally brush his.

Not now (y/n). You told yourself you wouldn’t.

One important thing that you have been trying to deal with recently, other than the chaos of this election of course, is your growing crush on Rin Obami. You tried to stomp it out when it first bloomed up, after all you were falling in love with one of the heirs of the famous Hundred Devouring Families, but that ended up failing... horribly.

After you tried to avoid Rin, and even Ibara eventually, the boys switched to being only hanging out with you in class to basically being by your side every single chance they got. Especially Rin, who even forced you to accompany him when he went to chat or discuss business with the other branch family members at the school.

Which is actually how you eventually became close to Terano and the others.

“How did the match go however?” Rin asks, handing the card back to you with a serious look.

“I didn’t get that far into the match before Terano and Ibara came in. We only got to two rounds, which I lost both to Kirari. However, she thankfully let me bet my sweets so I lost no money.”

“Well that’s good…” Rin says, his eyes quickly flickering to somewhere else in the room before going back to you, “Anything else happen?”

You let out a light laugh before looking up to the male with challenging eyes, “I don’t think I need to say something you already got from Ibara, Obami.”

Rin lets out a sigh and pouts a little, “Why do you always see right through me, (y/n)? And, calling me by my last name, Really?”

“Well, you and Ibara need to stop pressing into me about information that doesn’t exist. I already told everything that happened.”

After you finish speaking, Rin and you stare at each other for a couple of minutes. His blackish-purple eyes scanning for any detections of a lie almost makes you flustered. Though, thankfully before heat starts to travel up your neck, your teacher enters the room and shouts about class starting.

“Yes, Sensei!” The class resounds in unison.

As you lean down to grab out your notes for class, you feel Rin suddenly grab your hand. With Rin leaning over as well to grab his own notes, both of your heads were hidden under the desk. Helplessly, due to a firm grip on your hand, you can’t attempt to move away.

“(Y/n). If Kirari, or actually any the student council, approaches you about that offer again. Promise me that you will instantly come grab me or any of the others.”

Under Rin’s intense look, you can’t help but gulp. Why was he so nervous about you?

“I-I will try…“ You say quickly, averting your eyes from Rin as you use your other hand to pull out your notes. Even as you come back up to a sitting position, Rin still doesn’t let go of your hand.

“(Y/n). I want you to promise me you will definitely come grab us. I don’t want—“

“Obami. (L/n).” The teacher calls out, making you two snap your head to him. As well as making you realize everyone else in the class had been watching what was going on between you two. “I don’t think I have to say this but keep your relationship and hand holding out of my class.”

Hearing snickers and giggles from your fellow classmates, you quickly retract your hand from Rin’s and mumble out an apology.

“Ok. Then, with that squared away, let’s get started with class. We will begin where we left off last time with the sudden…”

As the teacher drones on and on about some history lesson from yesterday, you can’t help but sneak a glance at Rin. To everyone else in the class, he likely looked calmed and focused but you knew he wasn’t. Hell, from where you were next to him, you could practically feel the stress radiating off of him.

You knew the Hundred Devouring Families wasn't a nice family to be in but was Kirari really that dangerous? You knew she was really dangerous to someone average like you but to someone like Rin? Even if he was a branch family, he had a lot of power and money. Likely at least close, if not on par with Kirari.

Still, no matter what you thought, Rin was still stressed out that you were on Kirari’s radar.

Glancing away from Rin, you see the teacher was currently occupied with writing something on the board and the rest of the students weren’t paying any attention to you two whatsoever. However, even with them being distracted, if you tried to talk to Rin and got even the slightest bit too loud you could gain someone’s attention. So, how would you get his attention without interrupting class…

Thinking for a couple of minutes, an idea suddenly comes to your mind.

Shakily, you slip a hand down to your side and move it around a little. You can’t help but feel your stomach flutter when your hand accidently nudges against Rin’s. Which only grows worse as you can almost physically feel Rin’s attention shift from the board towards you.

Letting out a shaky breath, which you hoped Rin didn’t notice, you lightly enrap your hand around his.

“I’ll try to come grab one of you guys. I-It’s just I’m not exactly in a position to refuse someone as powerful as Kirari ....” You whisper out, your eyes still trained on the board as you can’t bring up the courage to look over at him.

You sit there tensely for what felt like forever, waiting for some sort of response. Perhaps your voice was too soft and he didn’t hear you?

However, just as you go to repeat yourself, you nearly end up choking on your own spit. The sudden feeling of Rin entwining his fingers with yours and placing your enwrapped hands in his jacket pocket so no one would notice, sent your heart into a frenzy and you were having a very hard time not melting on the spot right then and there.

Just as you think it couldn’t get any possibly worse for you it does. Your heart nearly explodes out of your chest as Rin casually leans closer to you so he can whisper in your ear. You could even, from how close he was, smell a hint of the expensive cologne he put on every day.

“Okay. I’ll stick by your side from now on then.” Rin whispers quickly, his breath ever so slightly tickling the shell of your ear, before sitting back into a normal position.

You are about to respond how that wasn’t needed in the slightest but before you can the teacher turns back around.

“Okay. So, to review…” The teacher looks around the class before finally stopping at you, “...(L/n).”

“Y-yes,” You squeak out, quickly trying to remove your hand from Rin’s before the teacher notices. However, as you attempt to do so, Rin only tightens his grip. Not enough to hurt, but definitely enough so you couldn’t possibly slip your hand out of his without creating a scene.

You give Rin a quick glare, which he of course responds with a smile, before turning your attention back to the teacher as he continues.

“What does Edo mean?” The teacher asks, leaning slightly back against the board.

“Well Sir, Edo could refer to two possible things. The first being the time period named after it, the Edo Period. This was when Japan was under the rule of the Tokugawa Shogunate. However, Edo could also mean—“

You suddenly choke up as you feel Rin adjust his grip so he can rub his thumb over the back of your hand. Even though it was such a small, almost trivial, gesture, it caused your brain to go blank. Almost as if it had fried itself.

“U-uh…” You jumble up your words for a couple of seconds before finally composing yourself, “E-Edo could also refer to the previous Japanese Capital, that was called ‘Edo’ before it got changed to ‘Tokyo’ in 1-1868…”

“Excellent! So, Can anybody tell me the name of that Shogunate from the Edo Period?“

As the Teacher turns around to write the answers down on the board, you turn your attention back to Rin, who looked quite proud of himself.

“What’s wrong (y/n)? Flustered much?” Rin whispered out, Jokingly yet also quite mischievously. You swore,

If ‘sadist’ had a picture in the Urban dictionary, it would be a picture of Rin Obami. Especially due to the fact, he took great joy from just messing with you, or sometimes other people.

“It’s your fault, dingbat. Are you trying to get us caught?”

“I doubt we would. I mean look at Ibara, even he hasn’t caught on yet.”

At Rin’s words you swing your head around to take a glance at Ibara. The pink haired brother looked bored out of his mind and only lightened up a little when he noticed your gaze on him. He gives you a small unaware wave in your direction which you return quickly before turning back around.

“Fine, I’ll admit you're correct by that.” You tell him, begrudgingly which he lightly laughs at.

“See~ don’t worry about it.” Rin mutters back and gives you a small wink before turning his attention back to the lesson. Which, after huffing for a second, you soon do as well.

You just wished he would quit messing around with stuff like this…

—.—.—.—.—.—.—

“Oh? What’s going on with you and—“

“Don’t ask.” You mutter out, cutting off whatever Yumeko was going to say as you take a seat next to her for dinner. Still slightly flustered at the fact, Rin insisted he held your hand the entire walk to dinner even though that bastard wasn’t actually having dinner in the dining hall in the first place.

Terano had told him that she wanted a meeting with branch family members only. But, due to his promise in history class, he insisted on at least walking you to dinner if he couldn’t join you. Which you can’t believe he actually did as it was incredibly embarrassing to see your classmates whispering and making kissy faces at you two.

“But, come on (y/n)~ You have to at least tell us what’s going on with you and Rin. We are friends aren’t we?” Yumeko whines, really wanting to know what’s happening.

“Or, at the very least, tell us about what happened between you and the President.” Mary suddenly says as she takes her seat on the other side of you.

“Oh yeah, I heard many people whispering about it in the classroom! I thought it was only a rumor? Well I hoped it was for your sake…” Ryota murmurs out, recalling what he heard before he left for dinner with Yumeko.

Speaking of Yumeko, Ryota noticed her suddenly getting very excited at the thought of the President. Quickly, she grabs your hands, her red crazed staring down at you.

“Oh, (y/n)! Please tell me it was true! I want to hear everything, everything, that happened at that gamble!”

“Well… Um… it wasn’t actually that exciting. I only—“ Just as you go to tell Yumeko what happened, your phone suddenly goes off. “Oh sorry guys, it’s my mom. I’ll be back.”

Quickly excusing yourself from the cafeteria, you answer your phone out in the empty hallway.

“Hello? Mom?“

“O-oh (y/n)! I-I-I’m so sorry!” You can’t help but be shocked as you hear the hiccuping of your mother from the other end.

“Mom? Are you alright? W-what’s wrong? Did something happen?” You worriedly asked. You’ve never, ever, seen your mother get so upset before.

“I-I just found out your father has been cheating on me for years. He actually has a whole-e-e secret family behind our back.” Your mother pauses her sentence as she tries to compose herself from another sob racking through her body.

“O-oh Mom,” You feel terrible yourself. That was your father, of course, and you couldn’t believe he would do something like that to you and your family. “I-If you want, you can call the school and I can get the quickest train home. I might miss class tomorrow but I can at least help you through this!”

“T-Thank you, Honey… but I’m afraid that you can’t.” You are stunned for a second. What did she mean you couldn’t, you could easily make up any missing classwork and homework you would miss.

“Mom what—“ A wretched sob from your mother on the other end of the phone cuts you off.

“B-before your father left, he took out every last cent of our savings-s. We have nothing left and I have to still wait for my paycheck next week!”

Your ears begin to ring as you attempt to process the tumble of words out of your mother’s mouth. You couldn’t quite believe it. You actually didn’t want to believe it and hoped this was some nightmare that you would wake up out of. Everything? All that money your family worked for… was really gone?

“(Y-y/n) sweetie?” Your mother suddenly calls, breaking you out of your daze.

“Y-yes mom?”

“I know this is a lot to ask, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to—“

“Mom I’ll do it! Don’t worry about me!” You quickly reassure, ready to help take off any burden on your mother.

“O-okay. If possible, could you ask one of your friends if we can take out a loan of their money? We just need some to pay for rent and bills for a while and I will instantly try to pay them back.” As your mother finishes explaining the rest, you can’t help but be silent for a couple of minutes. Your brain was racking with any possible other ideas before you finally gave up and answered.

“Y-yeah I’ll try to see what I can do.” As your mother hangs up, you can’t help but collapse to the floor.

A loan from a friend? That your family can pay back? That would be impossible. Your father made a ton more money than your mother and was essentially the main breadwinner of the family. It would take at least a year, maybe even two, for you and your mother to get back on your feet. You can’t afford to pay back that much debt and can’t afford to ask your closest friends to support you for that long. That would just be so wrong… but, you also didn’t know what else you could do.

“You know... I have something that could possibly help with that ‘wealth problem’ of yours.“

Kirari… you could ask Kirari! You didn’t want to but she had already offered you money or financial stability and it was way better than putting your friends in that position. Her offer might also be good enough that your mother and you could get out of the old nasty apartment you rent.

As you get to your feet and are about to try and make your way down the hall, you feel someone grab your arm.

“A-ah. E-Erimi, Sumika. H-hello, how are you?” You can’t help but gulp. You weren’t paying attention to your surroundings while on that phone call, so they possibly could have heard all of it.

“(Y/n)-San, I apologize but I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation.” You freeze at Sumika’s words, “I hope I’m wrong by this but please tell me you're not thinking of going to Kirari about this.”

Shit, Sumika always got it right on the dot when it came to you.

“I-I’m not. I’m just going to try to find Itsuki.” You murmur out, trying to lie even though it was futile. Curse Sumika’s acting and reading skills.

“(Y/n). Please don’t lie about things like this.” Sumika says in a worried tone. However, you can’t bring yourself to continue the conversation you were having with her. Already you were embarrassed enough that this was happening to you in the first place, but it only got worse that likely the “-Bami” family will have to help you again. It mostly made you feel bad since you can’t do anything to repay them for their kindness.

“Sumika, Please I need to do this. I’ll be fine.” You reassure the girl in front of you, lightly grabbing her hand that was wrapped around your wrist, trying to pry it off.

“(Y/n), No. …Erimi!”

Erimi, who was standing on the side worriedly about what was happening, instantly turned to Sumika.

“Erimi, please go grab Terano-san and Rin-san. Please… quickly!” You instantly freeze as you watch Erimi nod before quickly running off and disappearing down the hall. You can’t get Terano and Rin involved. Those two need to save every cent of their money to help buy leftover votes nearing the end of the election. You can’t possibly have them waste all their hard work on you, not after they have been working so hard for it.

… You just can’t afford to be the cause of crushing Rin’s dream like that. You know how much being head of the “-Bami” family meant to him.

“S-Sumika please, I beg of you. Don’t get Rin involved, you know he needs as much money as he can for this election! I will only stand in his way if he helps support me. Please, just le—“

“(Y-y/n),” You can’t help but gasp and freeze as you see a tear roll down Sumika’s cheek. “D-do you really see yourself as a burden to Rin? To us?”

You suck in a breath, ready to answer back but find yourself unable to. Your stomach felt like it was twisted into so many knots that you were about to puke.

Using her free hand, Sumika wipes away her tears and takes a deep calming breath before continuing, “(Y/n), Please don’t think so low of yourself. We all care for you and have never seen you as a burden. Especially Rin. He would feel so guilty if he didn’t help you out in a desperate situation like this. All of us would. I don’t have the right to say this but Rin—“

“Oh my god. Is that Kawaru Natari?”

“Ah! I think it is!”

Suddenly, Sumika’s grip on your hand disappears as you are pushed away by a group of her fans. Even though Sumika is trying to find and call out your name, none of the fans seem to know or care about what’s going on with her. All they care about is trying to get her autograph or at least shake her hand.

Stumbling to your feet, you take a glance at Sumika who was still encircled in her fans. The bubbling feeling of guilt lumps up in your throat as you think… No, you decided about what you should do.

“Sorry Sumika…” You murmur to yourself as you run down the hallway and to the stairs. You had no time to waste because Erimi has likely already notified the others of what is happening.

—.—.—.—.—.—.—

“I-is this the room?” You ask Kirari, taking a look around as you enter a giant room you have never been in. It looked like any other formal dining hall with many white clothed tables decorating the room.

“Yes. After all, you said the others are searching for us and this will likely be the last place they will check,” Kirari says as she walks over and places a bunch of paper packets on the central table, “Let’s get started shall we?”

“Y-yes of course. But first, What is your offer?”

“It’s a thing I like to call a ‘Life Plan’.” Kirari explains, picking up one of the fancy packets to show you. As you flip through it, she continues, “As the name suggests, it’s a plan of your entire happy life. Usually, I give these to House Pets who have no hope of getting out of their debt, but I believe it has the ability to benefit you as well.”

“R-really?” You mutter out, slightly disgusted by the fact this packet says you will marry a 50 year old politician and have 5 children with him, “A-ah!”

You are startled as Kirari plucks the packet out of your hand and suddenly rips it apart, “Don’t worry that one wasn’t for you. Since you are close with my extended family, I have taken much care in picking the best bachelors… that are also around your age.”

“O-oh really? Thanks Kirari,” You tell Kirari relieved, flashing her a thankful smile. Well as thankful as you could. Your heart felt like it was slowly shattering at the thought you were essentially selling yourself off to someone you don’t even know.

Rin…

You quickly shake the thought of Rin out of your mind. You can’t think of him right now, you had to do this for your family. He was your friend, so he should understand. And eventually, though slowly and painfully, that silly crush you have on him will disappear.

However, the more you repeat that to yourself, it sounds like you were just desperately trying to convince yourself of that.

As you begin to walk with Kirari to the table, you speak again, “Are there any of these you specifically want me to start reading first?”

“Well…,” You watch as Kirari pulls out a deck of cards from her pocket, “I think it would be so boring to pick it out normally. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“W-well… I don’t exactly agree. I prefer—“

“(Y/n)!? (Y/n)!? Where are you?!”

“Ibara?” You whisper out, startled as you turn around to the door behind you. After a couple of minutes of more shouting, you see the knob of the door shake, “(y/n)? Are you in there?!”

“Uh—“

You freeze as you feel Kirari wrap her arms around your waist from behind.  “Come on, let’s hurry (y/n). They haven’t noticed us yet but we have no time to waste. They could possibly come interrupt us at any time…. and you wouldn’t want that, would you?”

As you feel Kirari’s words sink in, you realize you had to get this done with, rather quickly as well. Meaning, it would take too much time to look through each individual packet, “No…I wouldn’t want that…”

“Good… Come, I’ll explain the game. It’s rather simple.”

You, almost in a trance like state, watch as Kirari shuffles the deck of cards and place them randomly over the table.

“You will slowly pick the cards one by one until a single one remains. Each card represents the matching life plan it is attached to.”

“It’s a fun game of fate!” Confused by the sudden new voice, you see Yumeko entering from the other side of the room from another door. As Yumeko makes her way in front of you, she instantly wraps her hands around yours before speaking again, “Oh (y/n), it will be so much fun! You have to play!!”

“W-what…? I mean, I already am. I have to after all.” You inform the girl, pulling your hands from hers to make your way to the table. You, at first, are shocked that she wanted you to continue but soon realize this was Yumeko Jabami. She was mentally insane and if she could, she would happily switch places with you instantly.

Hesitantly, after shaking your thoughts out of your head, you begin to pick up cards to get rid of. No real pattern in mind.

“(Y/n), be careful not to go too fast. You have to enjoy the process!” Yumeko exclaims, watching intently as you already give Kirari half of the deck that you have collected. “Unless, you are really just leaving it up to fate and luck…? Oh, that would be so fun! (Y/n), you really are a genius!”

“(Y/n)? (Y/n)!” You freeze as you hear someone else burst into the room. Nervously turning around, you spot Ibara and Miroslava at the doors. “She’s over here! Ibara quickly, go grab Rin!!”

As Ibara runs off, Miroslava makes her way to your side, “Kirari this gamble is over with! (Y/n) isn’t taking part in this anymore!”

“B-but Mir—“ “I’m pretty sure (y/n) can speak for herself, Miroslava.”

“You manipulative—“

“(Y/n),” As Miroslava bickers with Kirari, you hear Yumeko approach you from behind, “The President wanted me to tell you that if someone tried to interrupt the game, that you can instead just pick a single card from the rest.”

“O-oh Okay…”

As you reach out to grab a random card near you, you can’t help but feel yourself freeze. Why can’t you just grab it?

Almost in disgust you draw the hand back.

“Don’t worry (y/n). You just have to pick the card that calls to you!”

“The card that calls to me?” As you walked around the table, you didn’t understand what Yumeko meant. The card that called to you? But, they were all the same… none of the life plans were exactly what you wanted either.

After circling the table again, finally one of them catches your attention. There wasn’t anything special about it. There were no scratches, chips, or folds that would draw it to you. But, for some reason, you felt like you needed to pick that one.

Shakily, you pick up the card and hold it close to you. You know you should go give this to Kirari to get this over with but you felt rooted in place. Was this the one you chose? Actually,...

Were you making the right choice to begin with?

“Did you choose one (y/n)?” Yumeko asks from somewhere behind you.

“I-I don’t know… T-this…” You feel yourself suddenly getting choked up as you looked down to the card. You didn’t want to be a wife of some random attractive man with a peaceful happy life…

….You suddenly realized you wanted to be Rin’s.

The egotistical smiley boy that you had an enormous crush on. The one that takes every opportunity to find a way to make you flustered or choked up. The boy you now realize isn’t just a helpless crush but instead someone you have fallen head over heels in love with. The boy you likely—

“(Y/n)...” You are shocked as you are suddenly forcibly turned around.

It took you a second to realize it was in fact him with his normally neat hair pushed out of place and his uniform crooked and crinkled but you soon realize, Rin was right in front of you.

“Rin… I—,“ You stop speaking as you feel him shakily wipe a tear off your face. He looked at you with concerned eyes before glaring at the card in your hand. “H-hey. I—“

You can’t do anything but watch as he angrily grabs the card out of your hand and rips it apart. Taking the card scraps, he throws them up in the air towards Kirari.

“I swear… if you EVER come near me or (y/n) again!”

“Rin, calm down.” Miroslava states as she places a hand on Rin’s chest to stop him from approaching Kirari. Who looked quite amused with his unusual reaction. “Just take (y/n) and—“

“Oh, you picked the 2 of hearts Life Plan (y/n)?” Kirari states, trying to rile up Rin more as she picks up the corner scrap of the card. “I don’t believe I remember who that is… perhaps it was the son of a big medical center? He’s only a year older than you and is quite rich and handsome.”

“What the fuck are you going on about?” Rin barks out, confused at what she was talking about. Only to get angrier as Kirari lets out a laugh.

“Here. Why don’t you take a look for yourself?” Kirari states as she chucks one of the packets at his feet. He hesitantly grabs it up from the ground and begins to flip through it as Miroslava and Ibara, who had finally walked up to the two, look over his shoulder.

“What the fuck…” Ibara whispers out in disbelief before reading out loud was written on the page to make sure he wasn’t seeing things, “(Y/n) (L/n) will marry the youngest son of a computer company. She will get pregnant right after her wedding at age 19 and will have her first of 3 sons born that following year…”

Kirari can’t help but laugh as she watches the three’s expressions turn even angrier as they flip further and further into the packet. However, instead of addressing them, Kirari turns her attention to you. Making you feel as if you freezed on the spot from her icy blue eyes, “Come here (y/n). Let’s see what life plan you picked out. I want to see if I’m correct—“

“Oh hell she isn’t—!“

Miroslava and Ibara quickly grab onto Rin as he attempts to stop Kirari from grabbing the 2 of hearts' life plan.

“Rin! You can’t attack her, she’s from the main family remember? We can’t lay a physical finger on her!” Ibara mutters out, trying to remind his brother of the rules set in place by the clan.

“I-I don’t care about that! Let me g—“

“RIN! Enough!” Everyone turns their attention to Terano who was currently being wheeled into the room by Yumi. Even she wasn’t attempting to keep a calm persona as you could clearly see a scowl on her face. “(Y/n) hasn’t accepted the life plan yet so she isn’t obligated to follow it. So, calm down.”

Rin freezes under her words but It’s quiet for a couple of seconds before he finally speaks; in a rather bitter tone as well, “Fine…but you better have a plan in mind, Terano.”

“I do. Don’t worry about it.” Terano answers letting a small sigh out as she finally relaxes, “(y/n).”

You jolt a little as Terano suddenly calls you. However, you can’t bring yourself to look at her in the eyes as she is wheeled closer to you, “(y/n)... look at me please.”

Hesitantly, almost like a child who was scolded, you look at her, “We aren’t mad at you. We just don’t get why you would go through this extreme way of getting money when we could easily let you borrow some. I doubt helping support your mother a little would cost that—”

“T-that’s the thing! It’s not going to be a little, Terano.” You blurt out before quickly shutting up once you realize you cut her off. Terano, however, doesn’t look offended in the least.

“What do you mean (y/n)? Please, continue.”

“W-well, my father not only made most of the money in our family but also protected us since we live in a not so great area. Not only would it take my mother about a year or two to get back on her feet in terms of financial situation but someone could easily just come by and steal the money you give to my family.” You explain to the others in the room who seemed to finally realize what you were getting at.

“But, that wouldn’t cost us that much would it?” Ibara asks, trying to still figure out why it was still a problem.

“Well kind of, the basics (y/n)’s family would need is to buy food, pay bills and rent, and other necessities, which we could pay for. The problem comes with things like having security and perhaps unknown debts made by her father. Those would definitely end up stacking up over time.” Miroslava explains to Ibara, who nods at her in understanding, before she continues, “Which makes sense why she would come to Kirari. Not only did Kirari already offer (y/n) a chance of more money, she offered enough that she guaranteed (y/n)’s family to move up in terms of wealth. So, (y/n) not only could skip asking us to support her but she could possibly move to a new apartment or house in a safer area and skip having to pay the necessities of security.”

“Oh I see…” Ibara says before jolting up as he sees Rin suddenly move forward towards you. He quickly grabs his brother before he can move too far away, “Rin! Let’s have Terano handle this.”

Rin turns around to give Ibara a nasty glare, “Ibara, I’m not going to sit around here and do nothing! The Obami family easily has enough money to move (y/n)’s family out of that bad apartment as well as support them.”

“That’s where you are not thinking Rin.” Miroslava states as she steps in to intervene with the brothers’ conversation. “It might be enough to pay for now but think about what will happen towards the end of the election. All of us, especially you, will need a lot of money to pay for those leftover votes people are holding onto.”

“Yeah but it’s fine. I can—“

“Rin. Miroslava’s right. If we pay too much money and some of the other branch families find out the Obami family is low on money, it could cost us. Likely, we could get devoured.”

“But—“ “Oh my, Fate can’t be funny at times…”

The three stop bickering as they hear Kirari speak suddenly and quickly notice she was flipping through the life plan you had picked up. As Kirari walks over to give it to you, Rin has to grit his teeth to stop himself from attacking her.

“Kirari—“ “You were the one to interrupt our gamble, Terano and for the second time today that is. You know…That could possibly get you in a lot of trouble.” Kirari threatens Terano, giving her a look that told Terano she was done playing silly games.

“Ah please don’t! It was my fault, Kirari.” You voiced up, not wanting the possibility of Terano getting booted out of the election. Thankfully, Kirari seems to listen and turns her attention back to you.

“Okay then, if you truly are sorry (y/n). Then, please accept your life plan.” Kirari tells you, using your own words against you. As she passes the life plan into your shaking hands, Rin can’t hold it in any longer and walks over to you two.

“Kirari! Stop this, now.” Rin says, putting a hand on Kirari’s shoulder. Only for her to swat it off like it was some pest.

“Stop what? I know I haven’t done anything wrong. (Y/n) came up to me about this offer, you all are just interfering.”

“That’s only because you put that thought in her head in the first place! In the whole time I have been here, (y/n) looks like she just wants to bolt out of here but is only kept here by the false reassurance you give her! I—“

“I’m not giving her false reassurance. I’m telling her the truth and what she needs to hear.” Kirari interrupts, a smile on her lips as she grabs the Life Plan from your hands, “Her reasoning behind this thing is so simple and straight to the point, I’m surprised you haven’t figured it out yet.”

“What are you talking about? I get that she doesn’t want to cause me—“

“Ah, ah, ah.” Kirari says, tutting her finger back and forth in front of Rin, “I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about her inner feelings. The ones that mostly drove her to her current decision.”

You feel your stomach drop at what Kirari was talking about. She doesn’t know about— S-she couldn’t possibly know about your feelings for Rin. And even in the off chance she did, she wouldn’t reveal it to everyone right now,... would she?

“Her inner feelings?” Rin mutters out, confused as his eyes flash to your figure.

“Do I really have to spell this out for you? (Y/n), is in love with you. To her, you were more important than herself. So she simply couldn’t afford to hold you down, possibly costing you this election.”

You feel your stomach drop as it becomes dead silent. You can’t bring yourself to look up from your feet at Rin. You just couldn’t risk the chance of looking at his face and see the possible reaction of disgust or disappointment. As the silence goes on, embarrassment begins to come in waves throughout your whole body. Enough to almost bring you to tears.

You can’t help but choke on your labored breath as you see Rin’s shoes enter your view, “(Y/n)... look up at me…”

You instantly shake your head from side to side. You just couldn’t, couldn’t.

“(Y/n)... Please…” Rin asks again, his cold hands reaching up to grab your warm flushed face. Quickly, you grab his hands to stop him from pulling your head up.

“S-stop Rin. Please… it’s o-okay that you don’t have feelings for me. Don’t feel p-pity on me.” You choke out, starting to struggle on trying not to cry. It’s quiet for a couple of seconds as Rin still struggles to force your head up. Eventually, he seems to give up as he pulls his hands away from your face with a small sigh, “K-Kirari. I will accep—“

However it seems you are proven wrong as before you can finish your sentence to Kirari, Rin picks you up. With both arms wrapped around the back of your thighs, you are forced to hold onto his shoulders for support so you don’t fall forward.

“There you are…” Rin mutters out as he looks up at you, finally able to see your face. He gives you a small smile before jokingly saying, “How many times have I told you to stop jumping to conclusions before you even hear the answer, (y/n)?”

You bite your lip and turn your gaze away from him, “You do the same thing…”

“True but that’s not what we should be talking about right?”

It goes dead quiet as you choose to not answer him.

“…Can you at least look at me…, please?” Rin gently speaks out, basically begging at this point for at least something that confirmed you were listening to him.

“Okay… What should we be talking about then?” You mumble out, hesitantly turning your gaze back down to Rin. Which from what you can see makes him a bit more happier.

“Well first, I should tell you that I… I Love you as well.” Rin confesses. However, instead of making your heart flutter like it should, it makes it ache instead. Balling your hands into fist on Rin’s suit jacket, you can’t help but close your eyes to try to calm yourself down.

“Please Rin…” You say to him, your voice broken and begging him to knock it off, “Please don’t lie about something like this…”

“I’m not lying (y/n). I would never, ever, lie about something like this.” Rin rebuts instantly. Making you open your eyes in shock as he suddenly places you down on one of the tables. You would have ended up falling backwards if it wasn’t for him grabbing onto your shoulders, “(y/n), I’ll admit right now, In front of everyone and you, that I’m a greedy son of a bitch. S-so, If you go and take that life plan, I will make it my life mission to scam that guy’s family out of so much money that it forces him to let you go. Just because, you drive me insane to the point I want to keep you all to myself.”

“H-hey you shouldn’t do that Rin. I—“

“It’s illegal? I could get in trouble? (Y/n)... my whole family business is illegal. We devote our lives to scamming people out of their money and precious items. And, If someone from the Obami family wants something, we will most definitely find a way to get it.” You can’t help but keep silent as you allow Rin’s words to soak in. He wouldn’t actually go through with that right?

“(Y/n), Think of it this way,” Yumeko suddenly speaks up. Your eyes trained to her as she make her way next to Kirari before speaking again, “You can either not take the life plan and run the risk of Rin not being allowed to pay for those leftover votes students will be holding on to at the end…”

You watch in bewilderment as Kirari passes the Life plan to Yumeko.

“...Or, you can accept the life plan you have chosen and we open it up here in front of everyone. Allowing Rin to see who it is and having him make it his life goal to destroy your arranged husband’s life and steal you back from him! …(Y/n)!”

You jolt up in surprise as Yumeko and Kirari look at you with crazed looks in their eyes.

“(Y/n)! It’s essentially a gamble! Will you choose to run the risk of Rin failing his dreams or have your arranged husband being devoured by the Obami family?! The decision of two people’s lives are in your hands!”

You look at the two in bewilderment before struggling to spit out, “You can’t be serious! Rin wouldn’t actually…”

As you turn back to look at Rin, your voice dies in your throat. He had the same crazed look as the other two as he stared down at you. Noticing you are already shaken up, he decides to push it further by leaning down to place a kiss on the corner of your lip.

“(Y/n)...,” Rin whispers out as he pulls away, his kiss making a tingling feeling resound through the surface of your lips as you stare frozen into his eyes, “I hope that with whatever decision you make, you are ready to be stuck with me because…”

Rin tilts his head to the side slightly so he can lean in again.

“...I’m never letting you go…”  

As Rin captures his lips with yours, he had only intended to give you a small kiss to signify his promise but found himself wanting, craving, more. Pulling one of his hands up, he entangles it in your hair so that he can lean in further to deepen the kiss.

After a couple of more seconds of kissing you, Rin finally pulls away. He can’t help but gulp at the dazed out expression you give him. He wanted nothing more than to swoop in to give you another kiss but knew he couldn’t. He needed to calm down from the crazed adrenaline rush running through his veins and wait for you to not be as frightened by all this madness.

“So, (Y/n)...” Terano’s voice suddenly rings out. As you look at her, it seemed her and Yumi were the only ones not with a crazed expression on. “What’s your choice?”

“I-I…” You look at the Life plan and gulp. To you the decision was obvious but you still couldn’t get rid of the feeling of your stomach twisting and turning, “I choose… to take the life plan…”

Your stomach can’t help but drop more in guilt. Not only for the fact of allowing yourself to some other man but also allowing whoever was in that plan, life to be ruined…Devoured,... by the Momobami clan.

“You sure?” Kirari asks, wanting you to repeat yourself with more confidence on the gamble you were taking.

“Yes, I don’t want Rin to lose his spot in the election. So, I’m going to choose the life plan.”

“Okay…Yumeko.”

Yumeko turns her attention to the President, a small innocent look on her face.

“Would you do the honor?”

“Of course!” Yumeko shouts out, her expression going back to pure crazed delight. “Ready (y/n)?”

Your voice suddenly feels lost as you watch Yumeko adjust her grip on the life plan, leaving you with no other option than to nod your head as a sign of confirmation. As you watched what felt like Yumeko opening the first page of the life plan in slow motion, your heart was practically thumping out of your chest. Who could it possibly be?

You take your eyes away from the life plan for a moment to look at Rin. You just hoped whoever it was it wasn’t someone at the school. Rin and the other -Bami’s would make their life here a living hell.

Suddenly, Rin’s calm face turned to one of surprise and then, weirdly, he laughed.

“Huh?” You can’t help but let out, unable to understand why he did that until you turned back to Yumeko, “W-wait.. what-t?”

“Holy shit!” Ibara yells out, unable to help himself as he comes up to ruffle your hair, “Look like your my sister in law now, huh?”

“B-b-but… how?” You say in disbelief as you continue to stare at the life plan. Starting to finally coming to terms that you weren’t going insane and that Rin’s school profile picture was in fact staring back at you.

“That is a good question…” Ibara mumbles out, both him and Rin looking at Kirari confused, “How did you get our old man to accept this, Kirari? I can understand if it was me but Rin’s the family heir. He normally wouldn’t allow this kind of stuff.”

Kirari lets out a light laugh, “True, Mr. Obami really didn’t want to accept my proposal when I called him. He almost hung up on me when I told him how (y/n) had nothing to her family name…But...”

Kirari pauses for a second, almost as if she was trying not to laugh, “But, once I explain how (y/n)’s family had a generally healthy medical background and how (y/n) would be able to produce many healthy children in the future. He reconsidered as long as she and her family lived at the Obami family estate so he can keep an eye on (y/n) and teach her a couple things.”

You let out a small groan as you hide your face in Rin’s neck. Purely embarrassed about the fact that's the reason your future in-laws were going to allow you to marry their son. Talk about a first impression…

“Sounds like your father…” Terano sighs out as she looks at Rin and Ibara who are both trying not to laugh.

“Well, on the bright side (y/n), you really lucked out! You got everything you wanted!” Yumeko tells you as she happily passes the life plan off to Rin.

“What do you mean?” You asked confused, sending a quick glare Ibara’s way as he snickers at something written down in the life plan.

“Well, obviously you got to be with Rin and avoided causing someone else’s life to be destroyed by him.” Yumeko explains, holding up one hand to signify the obvious before holding up her other hand to explain the other thing she was getting at, “But, you also gained the thing you were fighting for. With your family forced into moving in the Obami estate, Rin doesn’t have to pay for any of your life expenses that you were so worried about.”

“Oh yeah…” You mutter out as you take a glance up at Rin who was still reading the life plan. You really did end up lucking out. There’s really no downfall in this exact scenario.

“Hey Kirari…” Ibara suddenly speaks up. Based on his expression, it looked like he was thinking something hilarious. Which isn’t always the best when it comes to Ibara, “I think you got something wrong here.”

“Oh?”

Ibara's expression gets even worse as he tries to hold back his laughter before continuing, “Yeah. I doubt (y/n) and Rin are going to have their first kid at 20 when dad is going to likely room them together!”

At Ibara’s inappropriate comment, you can’t help but smack him.

“Ibara!”

“Booooo! That was bad”

“Ibara, That was way too inappropriate!”

“Hey! Come on guys… that was actually— Hey wait don’t leave!”

…You were wrong, there was always a downside to something. One of them being the fact you had to live the rest of your life listening to the Obami brother’s teasing.

[pocketramblr]

The followup to the Thought™

"Ugh." You say, waving to the screen. "Look at that, now that's who should have been the main character-"

"Oh?" I say, a small glowing figure appearing in front of you. "I can show you that if you want, wish granted." I wave my magic wand, and you blink to find yourself watching a different universe's show.

It's about a blond boy, with a minor superpower that's difficult to work with. He only has one friend, with major anxiety. Both of them want to be heroes, which is about the coolest and nicest thing anyone can be in this world.

But the blond boy is only in middle school. He doesn't get the best grades, he's a bit of a class clown, a bit of a delinquent. He's not exactly cool or over powered, but his earnest, bright nature endears him to the watchers and readers of the story. He's nice, and not worried about competition. He'll put cheering up his best friend over studying- and he'll put just enjoying video games together over training his power on his own.

He doesn't, by the way, train on his own. He makes meager progress in the class provided, and works hard when he's thinking about it, but he honestly doesn't even know where to start with his power.

He takes the entrance exam, and by some manner of luck, manages to permeate through blasts and rubble while shoving other students out of the way. He's used to watching out for his best friend, at least, and that carries over in his natural, if clumsy, attempts to help others here.

With more luck, he is accepted into the school on those points. So is his best friend, though they're in different classes. He still doesn't have many friends, but they meet a new girl in his bf's class: she's gorgeous and powerful- the most raw energy in any of their quirks, and no anxiety or complications holding her back.

She's a bit of a ditz, though, a bit much for others to hang around all the time, so even though she should be a shoe in fit the most popular, she slides easily into their group instead.

The fandom likes her a lot, and you feel impatient. This isn't the story you wanted to see, not really.

"Don't worry," I say. "Time flies when you're actually a school story instead of a daily battle with villains story."

And it does- they compete in the first sports festival. The main character, to little surprise, doesn't do well. But he manages to keep himself and the others smiling and laughing through it, and that brings the attention of the mentor.

The mentor that you like, of course, the mentor you believe was right.

The mentor trains the main character. It's hard, but he can actually break down what exactly he needs to improve on, and now that he has support, the main character takes it seriously. Like all children do, he rises to the expectations on him when he's given the material to do so.

Not made to find the material. The kid would have never dreamed of just assuming and asking such a high ranking hero to focus on him. Rather like another boy, but we'll get to him later.

It's another year. The girl tried her best at the beauty pageant. The best friend tried his best at the liscence exam. The main character has still been training at his internship.

"His second year." You say, thinking. "Now this is when All Might shows up in the timeline, ten months before February in what would be Mirio's second year."

I raise an eyebrow, but wave my magic wand.

All Might does appear. The mysterious top hero, always in the background- ads, all over the mentor's office. They used to work together, but no one in this universe knows anything more than that.

The mentor and the principal happily tell the main character that the number one hero wants to meet with him directly! The boy is nervous, of course, excited, of course, and a tad confused.

But meet they do.

And offer his quirk, he does.

The episode and chapter end on that, of course, and you feel a surge of excitement. Finally!

You look around and realize others in this fandom do not see it that way. Many critique the twist as coming out of nowhere, with no build up that it was even possible, breaking the established rules for no reason. Many others are proud of how much the main character has to work at the difficult power, and do not want him to have a second before he masters this one. Some feel it's a trap- a secret test of character, or a villain in disguise who will ruin him. Some wonder if it's more metaphorical- he's offering the power of support and more guidance, maybe a connection, but not his literal superpower.

You do not know how to feel about it, but you know this will be for the better. He will be perfect for it.

At the beginning of the next update, the boy turns down the quirk. Grateful, more than he could say, but he's worked so hard for his own power and he's not even up to snuff with it yet. He's unsure he's the best option. The girl, after all, is used to weilding such power, maybe he should try her, maybe he should keep looking.

The top hero nods, and asks if he can visit again later, if he can find no other. The boy is a good hero after all, and maybe he needs to believe in himself as much as he is telling his friend to. It will be hard to train a second quirk, yes, but he can manage. It will make him stronger and pay off, after all.

The boy agrees, tentatively. No one can really say no to the number one hero, after all.

"Ok." You say, nodding. "There's an opening. It can build more, since that's how the story is here, way more slowburn."

I shrug. That's what happens when you start the story three years early, but whatever.

The story goes on. The main character does better in the sports festival, but not by any measure good. His friend finds a mentor, a character popular. Much warmer than the blond's mentor. The girl gets a really good mentor, a top tenner.

And then they start to get really good. They're used to training now, and getting it all bit individually and together. The mentor is motivated as of by fury, pushing more and more. And the main character grows to reach it.

Another year. They're seniors, now. Just one year left before they're pros, but they're already about at that level. They're called the Big Three.

The third year is different. Chaos every few weeks. A class of first years attacked.

"Oh, because All Might is still looking for a successor among the students- checking over the freshmen but they won't be able to compare."

I hum in a way that could be interpreted as agreement.

The sports festival. Finally, real victory. They do so well, even with one anxious at crowds. And one that is seemingly allergic to staying clothed. They do well.

The chaos continues, always at the sides. The others in this universe who follow the story talk about that and the offer the top hero made. Is he getting weaker? Did that power leak somehow and now someone wants it?

The tension grows, especially for you. If the hero doesn't give the main character the power before the summer....

The main character doesn't get the power before the summer. The hero falls on tv while the blond and his friends watch in horror.

After the summer, the main character decides to meet the freshmen. You wonder who will replace a certain someone's seat, or if this is playing the original quirkless hero storyline.

When the main character challenges the class of freshmen and you see that sparking green, you seethe.

"I said I wanted Mirio to have OfA! Why is he-"

"Actually," when I speak, you cannot. "You asked for him to be the main character. He still is. A beloved one, even."

"You know what I meant!"

"Perhaps. But then you asked for another change, and so I allowed All Might to meet with him a few days before he would have in the old timeline. He had a chance, he turned it down. Why are you mad at him having his own ambitions and autonomy?"

"He was supposed to take it! He's the worthier option, and you know it."

"What makes him worthy?"

"He works hard!"

"So does Izuku."

"He worked hard before he was offered everything by All Might!"

"Yes," I will admit. "Though, that's only because he met Sir before he met All Might. Were you so focused on how slow it was going that you didn't actually watch what he was doing?"

You will not admit to anything, still angry.

"He'll get another chance." I remind you.

You huff, but the story continues on.

The main character takes a liking to the boy you despise. So does the fandom, dubbing him the cutest little kohai. He's awkward and eager and sunny, like a fusion of the main trio.

He's also impulsive, and on their first patrol together they run into who will obviously be the big bad of the arc- and his abused daughter.

The fandom is split on if the story is going to go with a "In this arc, the blond must pass his experience on patience to a boy who it all about speed and too naive" or if it's "In this arc, it's the mouth of babes- the boy will inspire the main character to do good more impulsively."

You sit and wait for it to be "the boy will finally fork over the power he's now spent over a year working to hold and use to the real main character."

The raid happens. We finally see how the main character met his best friend. It's very sweet. The girl is a lead character and gets focus on her fight too, though the two freshmen working with her don't really. There's another funky freshman boy who turns out to be more like the best friend than we thought.

Finally, we get to the main fight.

And the main character is shot, quirk erased. For good, if the villain who's really not actually that good an example of a scientist is to be believed.

"Oh. What if the former top hero offers his power again, after this arc? It's about loss but always moving on?" The fandom asks. They aren't sure if the buildup to this is better than before, but it's certainly am interesting turn, and not as controversial as the last time.

The best friend saves the day by awakening right at the perfect moment to drag the teacher in. The quirk is kinda super deus ex machina for this arc though.

At the hospital, the mentor dies. The former number one hero is there.

The fandom wonders whether to hope or fear how long he'll wait to replace the mentor and the quirk.

You wait, knowing it's soon.

Then the freshman offers his quirk, and the fandom flips again.

"We should have known!" They cry. "He had super speed and strength the whole time, maybe the sparks are from his own quirk, but it's the same power! Oh, this hurts much more than just if it had been the retired hero!"

Once again, the fandom divides. Many can't bear to see the kohai they love shoved aside after this one moment. Will be be able to use his original power? Then they won't mind the strength for the blond. Some say to wait for his power to come back. A few pipe up about the possibility of him doing it quirkless. He has trained physically too, after all these years.

"No thanks," he says again. He does smile though- just like Sir told him to- and tells his kohai that he’ll do great things with the power, just like All Might did. Tells him that he already has.

You're past the point of fury now.

"Why?" You demand.

"Keep watching." My tone is cold. "Keep watching, the next five months where he does nothing but babysit a girl in hopes she'll magically make himt not quirkless again. He doesn't even ask if he can be a quirkless hero. He doesn't even go to school to keep training. You demanded the other boy figure it out himself. This boy doesn't. He just hopes the same thing that did this to him can undo it."

You don't know what to say about that.

"Neither took it seriously in middle school. That's the nature of middle schoolers. Neither of them tried to go solo quirkless, when no support was provided. But they're both good kids. Hard workers. Heroic. They love each other, honestly, they're friends. It's sweet. And it's sad that it took me doing this for you to see it."

I shake my head.

"Sir Nighteye never saw how Mirio was much more like Izuku than All Might. That was his mistake, because he didn't know the meaning of worthy. Not that it was his choice to make even if he had. There's no magic to this. OfA isn't Excalibur or Mjölnir. All sorts of people have had it. And All Might wasn't doing much to train before he found Nana ether, as much as he got into trouble. OfA is more about connections they have to each other. It's about people's relationships. As it happens, that just doesn't include Mirio and wouldn't be at its most meaningful if it did."

"You just are too much a Deku stan and hate Mirio-"

"Accuse me of hating Mirio again, and I will leave you here." I threaten, pointing my wand at you. "Now. Did you learn your lesson?"

You grumble, but you do nod.

"Good." I say, before waving my wand one last time. You're back where you were before, not a trace of me or magic.

The lesson, though, sticks.

[that-random-one]

Ice Skating

Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Date Posted: 2/17/21

A/N: I actually really liked writing this. I dunno why. Maybe it's cause Katsuki needs help to learn something instead of Y/n needing help from him. Plus this was cute, at least I think so🥺 Honestly I think it was the ending for me. I wasn't even planning on adding it, but why the fuck not. Also I have no fucking idea how to ice skate, or skate in general I'm a clumsy bitch but I think it always looks kinda cool.

You have finally reached your limit at staring at your phone. You wanted to go out and do something, something fun of course.

You were currently laying on your boyfriend's bed facing the wall. You rolled over and saw that he was still at his desk studying.

You knew that Katsuki's grades were important to him, so you usually didn't bug him whenever he was studying. Personally, you didn't study. You had almost straight A's with one B ruining your perfect score.

When you told him that you don't study when you were first dating he didn't believe it. So he made you go to one of his study sessions and you ended up failing the test. The next test you passed getting one question wrong without studying. To say the least, Katsuki was baffled at how your mind works.

It's been 4 hours and you were finally starting to lose it though. Especially since both you and Katsuki had nothing to do today. You crawled out of his bed and shivered when the cold air touched your skin. You grabbed one of his blankets and wrapped it around you.

You walked behind to where Katsuki was sitting and looked over his shoulder. You hugged him from behind and put your head on his shoulder, wrapping the blanket around him in the process. This got his attention and he slightly turned his head to look at you, raising an eyebrow to silently ask what you want.

You huffed and hurried your face into his neck. "Let's go on a date. You've been studying for 4 hours. Take a break." You said, your breath on his neck making his shudder a bit.

"I still need to study. I don't want bad grades like you." You looked at him and he poked you with the end of the highlighter he's using in your forehead.

"B's aren't that bad. Plus, you retain information better by taking breaks." You mocked glared at him.

You watched him chew slightly on the inside of his cheek. He was considering your idea, but wasn't fully there.

"Please? It's been a while since we both haven't been busy. I know I see you in class and I don't wanna sound needy or anything, but I miss you." You confessed, slightly furrowing your eyebrows and looking away from him.

That's all he needed to hear before deciding that maybe taking a break isn't so bad. "Fine. Where are you dragging me this time?" He glared at you, but you could tell that there's no bite to it.

You smiled up at him, happy that he agreed to take a break. "It's a surprise."

~~~~~~~

After getting ready for your date and dragging Katsuki in random directions, or at least to him, you finally showed up to your destination.

"Ice skating?" He said in what most people would see as disgust as he looked at the rink with a bunch of people skating around. Some people were in big groups and some were in pairs. After knowing him for a while you could tell that it wasn't disgust and that it was almost uncertainty.

"Yeah. Every year my family and I would go ice skating together. I haven't gone this year so I figured we could do it together." You beamed up at him, obviously excited.

Seeing your face look so happy and hopeful that he would like the idea, he knew couldn't say no to you. He wordlessly walked ahead of you and gently tugged on your arm to get you walking with him.

He went up to the lady in the booth to get the both of you your ice skates. After getting your ice skates and paying you made your way to a bench with Katsuki right next to you.

You flawlessly and quickly tied up your ice skates, half from excitement and half from experience. You looked over to see Katsuki struggling a bit.

"You want some help?" You tried to stiffle your giggle, but failed a bit. He shot you a glare at the sound.

"Shut up, dumbass." He looked away from you. His cheeks were slightly flushed from embarrassment and from the cold.

"Katsuki, have you ever been ice skating before?" You questioned. You didn't get a response back so you assumed that he hasn't. "If you wanna do something else then that's ok, you know. I just wanna spend time with you." You sat forward to see his face and poked his cheek.

He huffed and turned his head so you could see his side profile. "I may not have been ice skating before, but I'm not gonna do something else when. This clearly makes you happy."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. You were thankful for the cold so it could hide your blush. "Can I teach you then?" You asked feeling giddy about the idea of teaching the Bakugou Katsuki, someone who knows how to do practically everything, something.

He only nodded, not wanting to verbally ask for help. You giggled and the sound never fails to have butterflies fill his stomach.

You got up and bent down in front of him. "First, you have to tie your shoes correctly."

He watched in slight awe at hiw perfect and fast you tied his shoes up. You stood up and held out your hand.

"Next, you gotta get up." He grabbed your hand and pulled himself up, almost losing balance. He grabbed onto your shoulders to steady himself, making you laugh.

"Fucking hell." You heard Katsuki mutter.

"You ok?" You chuckled a little and grabbed his waist to help steady him.

"Fucking peachy. How how the hell do you move in these things?" He grumbled.

"Ok, if you say so. I'm gonna start moving now." You warned him as you started moving backwards. He tightened his grip on you and looked down at your feet in surprise. How the hell can you go backwards?

You both finally got to the ice and Katsuki immediately slipped. He would have fallen if he wasn't holding onto you.

When he finally regained his balance and could stand he slightly relaxed his grip on your shoulders. Suddenly, you ripped yourself away from him, making him lose his balance again. You slid close to him and steadied him, laughing in the process.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!?!" Katsuki screeched making some people look at you both. You just giggled and slowly removed yourself from him this time.

He only noticed what you were doing when it was too late and you were out of his reach. All he could do was to try to stay upright while you were going around him slowly in circles. "You're fine, Kat. Just do what I do."

You went by his side and showed him what to do. He started to get the hang of it, but he got too comfortable too soon. He slipped again and fell, but he grabbed onto you and pulled you down with him. He landed on his back and you landed on your stomach next to him.

You started laughing till you couldn't breathe anymore. Katsuki laughed a little, but he had a big smile on his face. When you finally caught your breath, you stood back up. You held out an hand for Katsuki to take. He took it and you helped him regain his balance again.

You interlaced your fingers together instead of letting go and slowly started skating forward. You looked over to your hot headed boyfriend and saw him looking down at his feet.

"Relax. Don't think about it too much." You gently smiled at how cute he looked when his head turned toward you.

"Kinda hard to not think about falling, idiot." He huffed and gently flicked your forehead. Your just scrunched up your nose in return.

"Think about something else then, dummy." You flicked his forehead back. He sent a mock glare at you.

Katsuki gently bit his lip as if he was considering something. All of a sudden you were being pulled forward, going much faster than you were a second ago. You realize that it's Katsuki pulling you.

You let go of his hand and started to pick up more speed. You quickly passed him. You turned around and gave him a taunting wave. Being who he was, Katsuki couldn't refuse a challenge. Even if it was about something he barely knew anything about or how to do.

He picked up his pace, still aware of how bad he is at ice skating. He decided to fuck it and went as fast as he could to catch up to you.

You slowed down a lot wanting to have Katsuki catch up to you. You heard someone going really fast behind you and you turned around just to see Katsuki coming at you. Before you could react you were tackled into a hug and fell to the ground again.

You opened your eyes to see Katsuki panting above you with a victorious grin on his face. You raised an eyebrow as if to say 'Why the hell did you do that?' but still smiled with him.

He leaned down and gently placed his lips against yours. It was a small kiss, but it was enough to make your heart flutter. "Ice skating isn't as shitty as I thought."

You laughed and kissed him one more time before gently pushing against his chest to get him to get up. You both spent an hour or two more ice skating and messing around.

~~~~~~~

You and Katsuki entered his dorm after going on your date that the both of you needed. You flopped onto his bed again thinking he would go back to studying after the longer than expected break he took. What you weren't expecting was for him to roll you over and lay down next to you and bringing you into his chest.

"What are you doing?" You looked up at him with furrowed brows.

"Is it illegal for me to hold my girlfriend?"

"No, I just thought you were going to go back to studying. I'm more than happy with this though."

"I thought about it but I don't think I'd be able to focus on studying right now."

You hummed already feeling half asleep. You wrapped an arm around his waist and moved closer to him. "Thank you." You mumbled quietly.

Before Katsuki could ask what for he felt your breathing even out. "I love you, Y/n." He gently whispered so he didn't wake you. What he didn't know is that you heard him say those words before you drifted off. Your last thought was that you knew that no matter what happens in the future Bakugou Katsuki will always have a piece of your heart.

~~~~~~~

"Mommy!! Mommy!! Look I'm doing it!!" Your 6 year old daughter looked up at you with her beautiful red eyes. Her small hands holding yours as she slowly slid across the ice.

"MOM!! HELP HE'S GONNA MURDER ME!!!" You looked up at the words your son screeched out. You see him skating to you away from his father who was chasing him. He hid behind you in hopes that you'd protect him.

"Katsuki, murder my son and I'll mrder you." You smiled as your husband skated to a stop in front of you.

"That damn brat. He said that you love him more that you love me." He grumbled, slightly pouting.

You looked at your 9 year old son, that looked like a carbon copy of his father, with an eyebrow raised. He sheepishly smiled at you.

"He's not lying." You left with that, taking your daughter more around the ice ring.

[rreeaahh]

Arms Tonite | draco malfoy

Arms Tonite - for @vogueweasley​ ‘s writing challenge (inspired by the song)

pairing: draco malfoy x fem!reader (ravenclaw)

words count: 10k - lyrics in italic

summary; your relationship with draco went from strangers, to lovers, to strangers again - but it broke the barrier between life and death.

warnings: the word “mudblood”; swearing; death eaters; voldemort; death of a character; some fluff; angst; kinda sad; slow burn; blood mention; (that’s all i could think of, please let me know if there are more!)

a/n: im so so so sorry if thats too long, my loves! i got carried away by this idea - i had it in my mind for so so long i used @vogueweasley 's writing challenge as motivation. again, congratulations mere! You're one of the first writers ive followed here, and I'm happy to see your blog growing❤️

 “Can I sit there?” you asked softly, embracing the pile of books to your chest. They were all for your Potions’ essay, where you really wanted to excel, only to prove Professor Snape what you were capable of.

Since the first year, Snape turned out to be a walking nightmare for all the students in the entire castle, especially for the ones who hadn’t a green tie around their neck. Being a Ravenclaw, the desire to know more was a normal thing for you: always asking questions and making assumptions only to gain more information made Snape grow a feeling of hatred towards you. He’d externalize that hate by giving you extra work, asking you questions you had no idea to answer, criticizing your skills in front of the class – basically, everything he could do to embarrass yourself and to show your classmates that you weren’t as smart as you wanted to introduce yourself.

“What?” the boy asked in confusion, his fingers squeezing the silver quill he was using to take notes from a booked that seemed to be about Transfiguration – a subject where you were at the top of the class, as Professor McGonagall told you proudly.

“I asked if I could stay here,” you repeated in a quiet voice, not wanting to disturb the rest of the people who were struggling with their work. “All the tables are taken and that’s my spot, usually,” you added when he frowned his brows, scanning the room.

“Yeah, whatever,” he said careless, going back to his piece of parchment. “That’s my spot usually, too, but I haven’t seen you here,” he whispered as you sat down, in front of him.

“I don’t think we share classes, so I think we don’t go to the library at the same time. But maybe it could be our spot from now on.” Your explanation made the blonde boy look away, his cheeks running paler while the skin of his neck, revealed by the crack of his unbottoned shirt, seemed to burn.

The silence fell on you two, the room being filled only with whispers and quills running their ink on the papers. You really had to impress Snape with that essay, you had enough of his comments and ugly looks – he was a great teacher, a very skilled person, but he had a horrible way to be human – that if he could be considered a human being. Deep down you feared Snape – his cold eyes, his fluttering cloak and his loud steps: all of that gave you goosebumps all over your body. Thinking of those you felt your breath tangling up in your throat, and the letters started to dance in front of your eyes. At first, you looked around the room, searching for the Weasley twins, but it wasn’t a prank: it was the stress which took control over your mind, playing tricks and messing with you. Your throat was dry, and every time you tried to swallow your saliva it felt like you had sand in your mouth. Your tablemate seemed to notice your discomfort, because he looked at you under his eyelashes, his right brow raising in confusion or annoyance.

“What are you doing?” he asked, now looking at you without any reservation.

“Hm?” you buzzed, making eye contact with him. You couldn’t figure out if he was surprised by your daring glare, or intimidated or amused – he only kept on looking into your eyes, not revealing any true emotion.

“You keep on swallowing and it looks like you’re drowning or something.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” you smiled politely, which made him go back to his work. But when you kept on acting like you couldn’t breathe, he dropped his quill on the table and look like you with frustration. “What?”

“You’re distracting me, obviously,” he rolled his eyes. “Some of us are trying to focus, so keep quiet or leave.”

It was very rude of him – in your opinion – to talk to you, a complete stranger, like he could give you orders; especially when you did nothing wrong.

“Me too,” you sighed, “It’s only that…” But you stopped in the middle of the sentence, reminding that you didn’t know who you were talking to, and he probably didn’t care.

“Only what?” he asked, making you look at him again. His face was blank – relaxed, like he was an emotionless metal can.

“I’m not that good with Potions, so I’m struggling a little bit,” you smiled with shame, not knowing exactly why you felt that way admitting you weren’t good at something.

“We all are struggling,” he said like it wasn’t a big deal, pointing to his Transfiguration book. “Some of us on simple things, I see,” he commented after he took a sight at the books you chose and the big title you wrote on the parchment.

“Then maybe we could help each other,” you proposed, smiling at him in a friendly nature. He didn’t seem to understand your idea, given the frowned brows and half eyes that were starring at you. “I’m good at Transfiguration, the best if we’re to follow McGonagall’s words, so I could help you if you help me with my Potions essay.”

He took a moment to think, looking back and forward to your books and his, to your parchments and his – yours were filled with paragraphs and his were decorated with meaningless drawings. “I only need some notes, it’s not fair to do your whole essay in exchange of some stupid phrases,” he said like you were trying to fool him.

You chuckled and leaned back on your chair. “Yeah, nothing’s free,” you smiled, “Ok, then I’ll write your notes and you’ll write me the main ideas – after that I’ll write it on my own.” He stayed thoughtful and quiet, looking at your face; you tried hard not to run your fingers to your cheek, searching for dirt or anything that had him starring. “Deal?” you asked.

He held out his hand in your direction. “Deal,” was his only response, waiting for you to conclude the pact. And you did – you gently shook his hand, the skin of his palm feeling smooth against your own, like he was using lots of lotion every night before going to bed. But it was a nice feeling, which led a wave of warmth all over your body along with a good premonition about how he’d do your homework and him, in general.

The two of you switched your belongings, the only item that wasn’t switch being the quills – he was holding his like it was the biggest treasure he ever had; and maybe it was, you thought. Maybe it had an emotional story and he wanted to keep the quill only because of the memories it hold, but maybe he was only careful with what belonged to him. You never really had anyone to help you with your work – when you were a child your parents encouraged you to keep on trying by yourself in order to succeed, and you grew up avoiding other’s help, only to prove them that you could do it alone. After a while, in your third year of Hogwarts, you wanted to be helped, but it seemed like your older housemates were too busy and the ones your age were looking for you to help them. So, to be in the library on a Friday afternoon, helped by a boy you never crossed paths with before seemed like a new – and somehow exciting – experience. It was nice to write on the parchments which had their edges and corners filled with something that seemed to be flowers or some kind of plant with curled leaves. You often asked him questions about what you should or shouldn’t write, and depending on his answer you’d write down more explicit notes, as he kept on commenting how many useless things you’ve wrote in your essay by far – but he was funny, telling you that you should give Snape the essay the way it is so maybe you all could be lucky and get rid of the sulky teacher sooner than expected.

After some time, they boy looked at the silver watch on his left wrist and put down the quill. “My study time’s over,” he announced and you also put down the writing instrument, handing him the papers you tried to write as eligible as you could. “That’s all?” he asked and scoffed.

“Actually, I have more things to add, but…” You tried to say, but he already began to gather his things, closing the Transfiguration book and folding the parchments. “We could meet tomorrow, or Sunday,” you proposed and also got up when he did. You tried to make eye contact with him one more time, not paying that much attention to the height difference between you two.

“Again?” he spoke, fulfilling your wish. His eyes were mesmerizing – such a light blue, reminding you of a sunny sky.

“Yeah, I mean, if you want – it would be beneficial for both of us to finish what we started.”

And he thought that way too, because the next day he was already in the same spot of the library, all by himself, trying to decipher the entangled letter you wrote the other day. “Maybe Snape doesn’t like you because of your handwriting,” he said when you sat down, making you smile and chuckle – an action that caused him to have a little smile in the corner of his lips, too. And those smiles continued to grow on your faces, because besides the theoretical information you two changed, there were also a little funny comment slipped through the conversation.

“See you tomorrow?” you asked while gathering your things, because that time you were the one who needed to leave earlier.

“I can’t,” he simply said. “I have to study.”

“Isn’t that the reason we met here today?” you laughed, “To study together?”

“No, we met today to finish our deal – which is pretty much done,” he explained in a plain voice, pointing to the pages in your hand. The structure of the essay was done; you only needed to put it all together and his Transfiguration notes were enough for him to understand better the subject.

“Oh,” you said in a whisper. “Yeah, right, thank you…” you smiled to him, whishing that he’d realize that you two never introduced each other properly, but he only returned the smile in a polite way.

“You’re welcome,” was all he said and went back to his book, trying to put head to head the theory you made and the information from the book.

That Saturday you left the library with a strange feeling of loneliness – he was a stranger, but he helped you concentrate and also helped you with something that – maybe – was the most important opportunity for you to shut Snape’s mouth. That day flew by without you even realizing, but at night you found yourself thinking about the boy who tapped his fingers on the wooden surface anytime he’d search for the right words but couldn’t stand a strange breathing near him, and a pair of iced eyes was present in your dreams, doing nothing more than watching you with all the possible emotions mirroring in them.

“How was your weekend by far, Hermione?” you asked the girl only to break the strange silence between you two. She was looking for a specific book, and it happened to bump into her when you came to the library to continue your work.

It was a few hours after lunch, on a sunny Sunday when most of the students preferred to study or to simply hang out in the courtyards, lying on the grass. It wasn’t very weird that you had to deal with all those stares when you went to the library on such a beautiful day. You weren’t a bookworm or a nerd, but it was a special thing and you really wanted to have it all done by the end of Monday at least, so you wouldn’t be loaded with other things.

“It was… acceptable,” she responded and shrugged, going back to look for that book on the selves. “As acceptable as it could be a weekend spend in the company of Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley,” she continued and you laughed. She was the brain of that trio, and it might be stressful to be their friend – but you were pretty sure it wasn’t that horrible since she stayed by their side for so long. “What about you?” she returned the question, giving up on her searching as she couldn’t find the right book.

Hermione followed you to your usual table, situated in a corner of the room, where the rays of sun came through the wide window and lighted all the pages. You sat down, leaving aside the parchments for some moments of chatting with your friend. “It was… fun,” you smiled, “I was here two days in a row doing homework.”

Hermione laughed while flipping the pages gently. “And Ronald says I’m the one who needs to sort out her priorities.”

“No,” you rolled your eyes, “It was fun because I had a study buddy. It was really nice,” the explanation made the girl leave her book and watch you with sudden interest. You knew Hermione wasn’t the type who gossip, so her attention was pure curiosity.

“Who?”

“I don’t really know,” you sighed, a little disappointment in your voice as you looked at your fingers, which were unconsciously tapping on the table. “We never made a proper introduction.”

The Gryffindor girl played with the zipper of her hoodie, looking like he was trying to remember all the persons who ever entered that room. “How was he looking?”

Handsome was the first word you wanted to say, as a joke, but a discarded book landed on your table, right on top of your papers and made you looks at the person whose shadow was covering your face.

“What is she doing at our spot?”

“Malfoy,” Hermione growled with hatred, “I don’t think your father bought the tables in the entire library, too,” she said and made the boy look at her with as much venom as a snake could carry.

So he was Malfoy – the mean boy Hermione would mention from time to time, the one who’d always have a harsh word to tell Ron and the one who despised The Chosen One so much. Your timetable never interfered with their, and you’d usually spend your weekends and breaks with some classmates you were friends with, so you never really crossed path with that Malfoy boy. You knew about him, but you didn’t know him – not until then.

“I wasn’t talking to you, Mudblood; learn to speak only when spoken to,” he said in a mockery tone, his eyes going back to you.

You looked at him, and then at Hermione, who seemed to search in you something you couldn’t actually find. “Well?” he repeated, but there was no response from you.

“What does he mean, Y/N? Your spot?” she asked, her voice cracking at the end.

“He’s… my study buddy,” you spoke and Malfoy raised his brow at the appellative, while Hermione froze.

“I’ll leave you with your study buddy, then,” she whispered to you and left, not before taking the book that was thrown on the table by the Slytherin boy.

Your hand was shaking when you grabbed the quill, going back to finish the essay that you started to properly write last night in your dormitory. “Yeah, take my scrap, you filthy Mudblood,” he commented and watched Hermione leave. He then sat down, in front of you, slightly pushing away from him the chair were your friend sat some seconds ago. “Don’t tell me she’s following you around like a little puppy,” he laughed and you looked at him in confusion.

“She’s my friend,” you simply said.

The confusion was now on Malfoy’s face. “Friend?” he scoffed.

“Don’t you have friends?”

“Plenty,” he responded quickly. “But my friends have my back when I’m in an argument.”

You shrugged and looked down again to your essay. “I’m a neutral person, I’m not picking sides,” you explained. He watched you write without any other interruption, but you were feeling weird to be aware of his presence in your perimeter and being as talkative as a fish. “What are you doing here?” you asked as you wrote your name at the bottom of the last paper. He quickly grabbed them all, smiling at your expression.

“I made some free time to come and read our final product.” He went back to be silent, his blue eyes running from left to right in order to read all the things you wrote more calligraphic, only thinking about his comment and about the nice letters he used to make the summary yesterday. “It’s good,” he said proudly, like it was his own.

“Really?” you asked shyly, not ready to have a criticism on that yet.

“Yes, I see you kept some of my phraseology,” he smiled in a kind way, returning the parchments to you.

“It was really well structured,” you laughed and ran a hand through your hair, blushing when you saw him starring intensely at your face – you really wanted to ask him if there was something on your face.

“It’s perfect, Y/N,” he repeated, “Snape can’t say otherwise. It’s nearly as good as mine are,” he assured you. His response made you laugh loudly, gaining some hissing from Madam Pince; your hands went to your mouth, covering it, and the boy looked at you with amusement.

“Thank you, Malfoy,” you whispered, scared to talk even in a quiet way. You knew how much the librarian hated the loud students, and you really didn’t want to be one of them. To be on her blacklist was something no one really wanted.

“Call me Draco,” he asked and got up. “I have to go, but I’m sure your work will be appreciated tomorrow.”

“It’s for Friday, actually.”

“So you had a week to do it, but you did it right away?” he laughed this time, but he seemed careless at Madam’s Pince hiss.

“What?” you pouted, already annoyed by his laugh. You knew what he was going to say, and it made you somehow ashamed.

“Nothing,” he said to your surprise, “It’s just that… I’ve never seen somebody to be that ambitious when it comes about school.”

“So you don’t make fun of me,” you thought out loud, making him chuckle again.

“Why would I make fun of you for being a determined person?” he asked and you returned his smile, more shyly, and waved him goodbye as you saw him walking away.

It was the last moment when you saw Draco Malfoy – Monday morning you looked for him in the Great Hall at breakfast, lunch, dinner and even after classes – but due to the large amount of students, he was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t put a foot in the library, because you stayed there awhile, doing your homework or reading – more like pretending to do any of those – but he never came. It was like he was swallowed by a big black hole and forgotten by all the people in Hogwarts. Nobody near you mentioned his name, and you didn’t dare to ask Hermione about him after the ‘study buddy’ situation. She said it was all fine between you two, because she knew about your neutral personality. It was simple: you never got into fights yourself or got involved when other people would argue – it was simple that way. You asked her if she was alright after Draco said all those things to her, of course, but when she told you it was alright you didn’t insisted more.

Friday came faster than you had thought and you were quite nervous to hand Snape your essay. All your classmates wished you good luck, even if they were in the exact same situation as you were – not quite the same, actually, because you were the only one asked to stay over class so the Potions Master could have a word with you.

“You wanted to talk to me, Professor?” you asked when the rest of the students left you all alone with Snape, who sat in the front of the class, hands crossed over his chest and a frowned look on his face.

“Obvious,” he spoke in his monotone voice, coming closer to your desk. “What is this, Miss L/N?” he asked, throwing in front of you the essay, all the pages spreading on the table.

“My essay, Sir,” you told him confident, already preparing your speech about how hard you worked on it and how he couldn’t say it was a piece of trash.

“Your essay?” he asked serious, and then he faked a laugh. “I think you mean Mister’s Malfoy essay,” he then handed you another parchment, with Draco’s name on it, neatly written.

You read a few phrases from his work, but there was nothing alike between them aside some expressions – the ones Draco observed you kept from his notes. “I didn’t steal his work, Sir,” you said in a quiet voice, not daring to look him in the eyes. You didn’t need to do that to know how mad he was.

“You didn’t steal it, you copied it.”

“No, I…” but he already made up his mind. He asked you to leave, informing you that you’d get more work to do, along with a week of detention.

Your blood was boiling and you only wanted to scream how much you hated everything: how much you hated Snape, for being a prick, how much you hated yourself, for not being able to do your own homework alone and how much you hated Draco, for ‘helping’ you and then disappearing – but he didn’t disappear, because he was in the end of the corridor, all by himself, his hands on his trousers’ pockets, standing in an elegant posture leaning on the wall. The dark always present on the Dungeons made him look paler that he seemed in the library’s sunrays, but the blue of his eyes was still remembering you of the clear sky in the moment he heard your steps.

“Y/N,” he greeted you from afar, a little smile growing on the corner of his lips. “How was…” but you didn’t give him the occasion to finish his sentence, leaving the dark corridor in a hurry.

It was odd that after a week of thinking only about him, about the blue of his eyes, about the way his voice would seem lighter when he was holding back his laugh, about the cute way he’d smile only a half of joy, you ran away from his presence like he was your worst nightmare when, in fact, he was present in your sweetest dreams.

It was your desire to be alone the one which made you isolate yourself in your room for some good hours, crying and hitting the pillows, throwing them in the walls and then gathering them, only to throw them again. You felt the way Snape’d describe your skills, work or everything you did: trash – you felt like trash. You thought about going to dinner with your housemates when you heard them leaving the Common Room, but you realized that Snape’s face, eating at the teachers’ table would’ve turned your stomach upside down. So you stayed there for another hour, thinking about everything and nothing in particular; you just knew that you were sick of it, sick of everything and you just needed a break.

And that’s what you did: you took a break. You left the dormitory only undressing yourself from the blue robes and went running on the empty corridors. When you left, you weren’t sure where you’d go – but you found yourself in the Astronomy Tower, watching the entire yard and the environs of the castle. The sky was painted in pastel colors, the sun bathing in the red color of the lake. It was beautiful and you wanted nothing than to be the same with all of it.

“I hate it all!” you screamed looking up to the sky, closing your eyes. “I hate Severus Snape!” you screamed again, opening your eyes and looking down. It was a long, long way to the bottom, where the cobbled paths would wait. “I hate that he managed to make me feel so useless,” now you whispered, tightening the metal balustrade between your palm until they became white. You shook the metal as hard as you could, but it stood still; the effort left you breathless, but you still managed to scream from the bottom of your lungs: “I hate myself!”

You had no idea where that came from – it was the first time you thought that way about you, but it felt very honest. You hated how much pressure you’ve put on your shoulders and now that you were too weak to carry it all, you felt worthless. The only thing you knew was that you were crying, so hard that your sobs didn’t let you hear the steps approaching you in such a hurry. The force of the hand that grabbed your elbow was unexpected, making you stumble on your own legs. The warm feeling immediately invaded your whole body as soon as you fell in a pair of arms, which were holding you hard enough not to fall to the ground.

“What the hell were you doing, Y/N?!” he screamed, the image of his face being blurred because of the tears in your eyes. You blinked a few times and there he was: Draco Malfoy, with a worried look on his face but with the same beautiful blue eyes.

“Draco…” you whispered and grabbed the material of his white shirt, “What are you doing here?” you managed to ask without your voice cracking.

“You didn’t come to dinner, and after the way you walk away from earlier…” he said and became paler, “But what were you doing? Don’t tell me you tried to…”

But you shook your head in negation faster than the words he said. “No, of course not,” you said trying to convince yourself more than him. “I was just… having a moment,” you explained and withdrew from his arms, hugging yourself to calm down.

“What happened, Y/N?” he asked again and touched your shoulders, his hands burning the skin under your uniform shirt.

“Snape said I copied your essay,” you succeed to whisper after a long silence, the tears coming back into your eyes.

His brows went lower, his mouth in a line. “Have you told him that I helped you?”

“No,” you said, now crying again. He wiped away a tear that rolled on your cheek. “He told me to leave before I could say anything, and now I have detention a whole week.”

“Sh, sh, sh,” he hummed as he pulled you back into his arms, one of his hands laying on your back as the other one was caressing your hair. “You don’t need to cry,” he spoke gently and his movements became clumsy as you cried even harder. “I’ll take care of it, Y/N,” he assured you and suddenly, your tears dried up.

“What?” you asked, looking into his eyes.

“I… I’ll talk to Snape about it,” he repeated, “It’s not fair to act that way towards you when your essay was so good.”

All the parts of your body were screaming to kiss him only because he was that near to you. But you were too puzzled up to even hear those screams in your head. “You’ll get in trouble too, Draco.”

“No,” he smiled. “Let’s say that Snape owns my father one,” he smiled devilish, and contrary his expectations you smiled like you haven’t been crying until then.

“But why are you doing that?” you laughed and tried not to freak out because he was still holding you.

“So you could own me one later,” he continued to smile even after you hit them slightly in chest. “What? Nothing’s free, remember?”

You bit your cheek, trying to hold back a smile. “Yeah, sure.”

“So we have a deal?”

“No,” you said and raised a brow. “We have a deal only if you don’t get yourself in trouble by talking to Snape or, even worst, getting me into a bigger mess. You need to succeed in order to have a deal.”

“That sounds like a deal to me,” he smirked and ran a hand through his blonde hair, which seemed more like gray in the light given by the moon.

“We have a deal, then,” you laughed and tighten up a bit the grip on his shirt.

“Don’t ever stay that close to the edge again,” he asked you and you could see the same feeling of anxiety on his face. You nodded your head in agreement and he hugged you again. “You scared the shit out of me,” he confessed.

It was the first time in your life when you felt that somebody was truly worried about you. Your parents would’ve just watch you break down and then get up and try again, telling you that it’s the normal way to educate yourself. But that night, in his arms, you felt that you weren’t the same lonely child. It was a warm feeling, a feeling of a new burning in your heart. And it was a nice feeling.

  I fell in your arms tonight / I fell hard in your arms tonight / It was nice

 You agreed to meet Draco the next day in the Astronomy Tower half an hour before the dinner would finish and you were surprised to see him already there, welcoming you with the same somehow evil smirk he had the other day.

“You own me one,” he said without even waiting for you to say something. “Snape told me he’ll forget about the detention, but you need to make some rephrasing on your essay.” He was proud of his manipulative skills and you could see it in his eyes – there was a little sparkle as you approached him.

“Good job, Draco,” you said smiling from an ear to the other. “I guess I own you one.”

“Yes, yes you do.”

You look over the skyline and went closer to the balustrade, Draco following you closely even after you sat down on the stone floor, your legs hanging on the outside. You seemed to be secure enough, so Draco sat down and looked at the sunset as well.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You already did,” he puffed and you punched his shoulder, smiling.

“You’re an idiot, you know what I mean.”

“Why am I an idiot?” he asked and turned to face you with an ugly look.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that!” you told him quickly. “I call my friends that way when they say something dumb but they’re funny at the same time,” you explained, ashamed that you offended him.

He was silent for a moment and looked at the lake again. “My father uses that term to talk about incompetent people,” he said and you looked away from his face.

“I guess it’s a way to use it, too,” you spoke shy.

“Why do you want to ask me?” he changed the subject, removing the awkward tension between you two.

“Why did you called Hermione Granger that word?” you asked cautious not to upset him with your curiosity.

“That’s what she is,” he said nonchalantly, “She’s a Mudblood, and she is inferior to us.”

“Only because of her blood?” you laughed. “And how do you know I’m not inferior to you too?”

“I made my research on you before talking to you again,” he shrugged.

“She’s superior to both of us in many ways, Draco,” you told him and looked at him in the moment he did the same. “She lives in another world at the same time she lives in this one,” you explained, “We were born surrounded by magic and that’s our only way of living.”

He lour. “Why do you say that?”

“I take the Muggle Studies class,” you smiled proudly.

“Why would you do that?” he scoffed. If you ignored his mentality on that subject, you could say he was really cute.

“It’s interesting,” you started. “They have many objects we have no idea about and they have fairy tales about anything – they’re kind of superstitious.”

“Superstitious?” he asked like he was curious and not like he wanted to mock you.

“Yeah,” you said and got up. “Maybe I’ll tell you about some superstitions one day.”

“Tomorrow night,” he asked you and got up as well.

“You want to know more about Muggles?” you laughed.

He shrugged. “It’s your chance to prove me they’re not inferior to us.”

“Ok,” you smiled and took the challenge.

You left the Tower walking by his side, and your heart skipped a beat when you realized that he walked you to your Common Room door, wishing you a goodnight. The next day Professor Snape wanted to talk to you again after class, this time apologizing for the way he managed the situation, but you could tell he wasn’t very pleased with what he was saying. When the dinner was nearly finished, you could see Draco leaving the Great Hall without looking in your direction and you knew it was the signal to get up and do the same thing after some minutes. You thought it’d be better if nobody would know where you were going and with who.

“Ready to learn about Muggles?” you asked him with joy as soon as you got in the highest place in Hogwarts.

“Whatever,” he laughed and rolled his eyes.

You brought a book you got last year on your birthday from Hermione, a book about a lot of things the Muggles believe in. You read out loud some pages and Draco only sat next to you, listening. It was somehow therapeutic to read in front of him because he didn’t disturb you, he even looked like he was enjoying it.

“So they even have a specific flower for when somebody dies?” he asked out of a sudden. He was really paying attention.

“Yeah, in some countries,” you smiled. “In Italy, France or Belgium – where it’s made the best chocolate – the white chrysanthemum is well known to be brought at somebody’s funeral. But they also represent loyalty and devoted love, so I think it makes it even more beautiful. They’re my favorites,” you smiled.

“A flower that represents the death is your favorite?” he laughed, making you roll your eyes. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’ve never seen a chrysanthemum, and that’s something, considering the fact that my mother has a gigantic garden.”

He was often talking about his mother and you deducted that he’s a mummy boy – it was cute to know that he loved his mother dearly.

“I would love to see it,” you smiled politely.

“Maybe you will,” he said and caught you by surprise. “I mean, maybe you’ll see a garden as big as my mother’s,” he clarified when he observed those big eyes of yours.

“Yeah,” you said in a quiet voice, looking back into your book.

��What?” he asked and you didn’t respond him.

You were… sad? Disappointed? It was a strange and groundless feeling given by the idea that you’ll never see the garden of his house, and that also meant that you’ll never meet his mother, who was already painted in your mind like an elegant and kind woman.

“Are you upset?” he asked again and grabbed your jaw carefully, making you form eye contact.

“No,” you said simply, and the honesty in your voice surprised you. It was like all the hard feelings were erased by his eyes, by their calming color.

“Good,” he smiled, “Because you shouldn’t be upset.”

“Why?” you asked.

“I’ll bring you all the flowers from my mother’s garden if you’re not upset,” he traced his fingers up to your cheek, placing a strand of hair behind your red ear – all your emotions ran to your head, making the skin he touched burn.

“Why?” you asked again like a curious kid.

He rolled his eyes in a playful way, trying to pretend he was tired of your whys. “Because a pretty face like yours shouldn’t frown. You’ll get wrinkles,” he laughed and pinched your nose.

“Auch,” you hissed, massaging the end of your nose. “You say I’m pretty?”

“I say it’s time to get you back to your Common Room,” he nodded his head and got up, offering you his hand to help you get up.

The walk to the Ravenclaw’s door was silent, and when you got there it was an even more annoying silence. He only watched you like he was waiting for your next move.

“Uh, I can’t come tomorrow night,” you informed him. “I have to help my roommate study for Transfiguration.”

“So she’s stealing my study buddy,” he joked.

“I’ll see you around, though?”

“Yeah, of course,” he smiled and you just wanted to kiss that little dimple of his.

So you did – you got up to your toes and kissed his cheek. “Good night, Draco,” you smiled and entered the empty room, all your housemates already being off to their dormitories, probably. Your heart was pouting hard, like it was trying to escape the little cage of your ribs, but your soul was feeling warm and sweet, like honey.

The next day you tried to focus in all your classes, you tried to pay attention to your friends but all you could think of was Draco Malfoy, with his blue eyes and sweet dimple. It was a boring night the one you spent in your room, listening and explaining to your roommate simple things about your Transfiguration class, the same ones that Draco found difficult – even that made you think about him. It was a great relief to walk again on the stairs that led you to the Astronomy Tower, the excitement making your heart jump with joy. It dropped to the bottom of your soul when you didn’t find him there, and it broke when he didn’t come at all.

Maybe you scared him – maybe he didn’t want you to kiss his cheek, maybe he didn’t want you so close to him. Maybe you screwed it up. And you really believed that when he didn’t come two nights in a row, making you to skip dinner on the third night. You didn’t have the power to cry again, but you really wanted to – you nearly managed to get a tear out of you if it wouldn’t be eagle owl which entered your room through the open window.

“What’s up with you, stupid bird?” you asked in anger, making the owl give you a response in the same tonality. “Easy,” you spoke as you took the little parchment from its claw.

‘You didn’t come to dinner, are you sick? If you are, take a good sleep and get better. — D.M'

You crumbled the little letter and thrown it away telling the bird to leave you alone. You walked from left to right, biting your nails out of anxiety and anger – who was he to ignore you three days and then ask to meet you? You grabbed the letter from the floor and read it again, and the curiosity won against your anger. You grabbed a blue sweater and ran to the Astronomy Tower, but walked the steps so he wouldn’t know the speed with which you came. You were furious at him – you couldn’t wait to scream at him and tell him to fuck off with his unhealthy behaviors, but when you saw him leaning on the stone wall in front of you with a bouquet of white flowers in his hand and a small box on the other one, you just froze on the last step.

“Hello, Y/N,” he greeted you with a smile on the corner of his lips. You approached him slowly; your eyes going from his face go his hands and back to his hands. “I see you’re not sick,” he said when you were in front of him. “Why haven’t you come to dinner?”

“Why didn’t you give me a sign of living?” you asked straight, searching for his eyes.

“I was… busy,” he said and cleared his throat. “But I asked my mother to get me those,” he smiled and handed you the bouquet of chrysanthemums and the little box. “Open it,” he asked impatient.

You undone the little bow and opened it with one hand, the other holding carefully the flowers. Your hands were shaking. “Chocolate,” you laughed nervous.

“From Belgium, just like the flowers,” he said proud, smiling. “Don’t you like them?” he asked a little panicked when you didn’t say a thing, only watching the flowers in such an examining way.

“I love them!” you said, “I love them, Draco,” you assured them, holding them to your chest like you were scared he’d get them back.

“Good, I hoped you’d say that.”

You smelt them, and your whole soul was dancing – the sweet smell reminded you of the late autumn’s rains, of the lazy sunrays and all the nice skies in the world.

“I love them Draco, but what’s the occasion?”

He massaged the back of his head, avoiding your eyes. “You don’t need a reason to get flowers, Y/N. You deserve them anytime,” he said and your heart exploded at his cuteness. “My mother told me it’d be nice if I would give them to you before anything else,” he said and bite his lower lip immediately after, like he said something he didn’t mean to.

“Before what, Draco?” you asked curious. He was so good at making you all set on fire, unfocused and yet so, so concentrated on him.

“You’re a nice girl, Y/N, really nice,” he said in a quiet voice. His tonality made you thought about a break-up – like he wanted to break the bond that began to form between you two.

“What are you trying to tell me, Draco?” you asked in a harsh tone. “Just say it, ok? You don’t need to bring me flowers and chocolate if you want to say goodbye, it’s not like I’m dying,” you said pointing to the chrysanthemums.

“No, no, Y/N,” he interrupted you. “The white chrysanthemums represent loyalty and devoted love,” he whispered.

“Oh,” was all you could say. “Oh,” you repeated when you figured out what he really meant.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, and you laughed along with him. The sound of his laugh made your heart put itself back together. “So…” he started and came closer to you.

“So?” you said, biting your lips and blinking slowly.

“So may I kiss you, Y/N?” he asked in such a kind voice, all your body going soft at his words. His mother must’ve taught him how to talk to a girl – and she did such a good job.

You nodded shyly and let yourself carried by his hands, which dragged your body closer to his. He gently pressed his lips on your, letting them stay together for a couple of seconds and then retiring. His blue eyes were looking into yours, burning with desire and impatience. Your hands tightened the flowers and the little box harder, and you put them around his neck, getting him even closer to you and smashing your lips back together. His hands were on your waist, grabbing the material of your sweater between his fingers. Your eyes were closed and your body was filled with warmth – you saw nothing and yet, somehow, you were aware of everything in the Universe through a white light.

 White light in your arms tonight / I lost sight in your arms tonight / It was nice

 The next months were full of love and laughs for you – Draco was the most careful boy you’ve ever been with. He still wanted you two to have secret little dates in the Astronomy Tower, where you’d read to him about Muggles and poetry written by them.

“Don’t you think it’s kinda cute that I listen to you reading about that non-sense?” he asked once.

“It’s poetry, Draco,” you scoffed, “It’s about love!”

Besides the secret dates, he really wanted to go public. He was the type to show you off in front of everyone, only to make sure that every other boys knew that you were off their league but in a kind way – he’d kiss your forehead on the hallways, walk you to classes even if that meant he’d be late to his and gave you endless gifts. You received a lot of chrysanthemums, love letters and sweets anytime his mother would send him a package. Your roommates were jealous of you even if they told you directly that they didn’t like Draco and there was nothing to do about it. Hermione wasn’t so happy either and somehow distanced herself from you when she found out about your relationship, but Draco made you to forget all those things – he was the bad guy in everyone’s story, and even if some time ago he wasn’t even a side-character in yours, he became the climax of your story. You didn’t love Draco for his gift, you loved him truly – you loved him for the kind words, the warm glares, the sweet kisses and the tight hugs. And you knew he loved you too, because he made you feel safe in the whole madness with the Dark Lord and the war everyone was talking about.

“Do you think there’ll be a war, Draco?” you asked one night when you two where curled up into each other’s arms.

“I don’t know, Y/N,” he said absent.

“I heard that Harry’s forming an army,” you said and looked up to him, only to see him rolling his eyes.

“Potter isn’t capable to tie his own laces, my love, and you think he’s able to lead an army?” he laughed and that made you roll your eyes. “You’re funny.”

“But you’re the only one taking it as a joke, you’re the one who’s laughing,” you said and he frowned.

“Then I think I have to change that,” he said and his fingers came to your ribs, tickling you.

You started to laugh hard, to fight so you could escape his torture, begging him to stop. “Draco, that’s enough!” you screamed as you felt tears in your eyes, so you grabbed his arm and tried to scratch him playfully to make him stop.

Hissing, he let you go and pulled away from you, his hand over the left arm.

“What’s wrong, baby?” you asked worried that you hurt him.

“Nothing,” he said in an annoyed voice, getting up on his feet and looking down to you. “I’m fine,” he said and something in your mind clicked. For more than two weeks he’d say that stupid phrase whenever you asked him what happened – he seemed tired and anxious, but whenever you’d ask about him he’d become fine.

“Don’t try to fool me, Draco,” you said annoyed as well and, already on your feet, you’d try to grab his hand and reveal the possible wound.

“I said I’m fine, Y/N,” he repeated and avoided your hands like they’d burn him.

“And I said to stop fooling me!” you shouted and sneaked close enough to him to get his hand away from his arm, but he pushed you harder than he thought – you fell on the ground, a piece of material in your hand; his sleeve – ripped, revealing red lines, scratches – who were older, but reopened by your nails – which were covering the worst thing you could think of: the Dark Mark. The air left your lungs and your head started to spin, the vision becoming blurred.

“Y/N…” he tried to say, coming closer to you but you crawled away.

“What the fuck, Draco?!” you screamed and got up by yourself. “Stay away!” you said when he tried to approach you.

“I can explain, Y/N,” he said, his voice shaking.

“How on earth you could explain the Dark Mark on your arm?” you shouted again, your hands running in your hair and pulling it.

“Sh,” he said loud, asking you to be quiet. “It’s not what it looks like, my love, I swear.”

You laughed – loud, nervous. “Then what it is?”

“They made me do it, Y/N!”

“They made you get the Dark Mark, become a fucking Death Eater and join Voldemort?” you screamed again and step back when he tried to come closer.

“My father, he… I didn’t want to, Y/N,” he said quietly, his eyes starting to get wet.

“You lied to me, Draco,” you whispered. “You said everything will be fine, you said you’ll protect me!”

“And I will!” he also screamed. “I will,” he repeated breathing heavily.

“How? Making me join the Death Eaters so they wouldn’t kill me later?” you mocked him, and you could say it hurt him to see you that way – but you didn’t care.

“Nobody will kill you, Y/N,” he said, trying to calm you. “You’ll be fine, we’ll be fine.”

“A war is coming, Draco,” you said harshly, “The Dark Lord is alive and back and anyone who’s against him is in danger.”

“You’re not in danger, Y/N,” he repeated. “We’re in this together, please, love,” he begged you, tears running down his face.

“We’re not on the same side, Draco,” you whispered.

“I thought you didn’t like to pick sides,” he said like he was trying to make you change your mind.

“We’re talking about a war, Draco, not a fucking fight in the courtyard,” you said and shook your head. “Just… leave me alone, please,” you asked him and started to walk away.

“Y/N, please!” he grabbed your wrist but you pulled away immediately.

“Don’t touch me ever again, Draco Malfoy,” you said in hatred, giving him a disgusted look before leaving him alone in the Astronomy Tower – alone, hurt and crying. He saw the disgust in your eyes, the hate and the fear.

Hard times came for you – you decided to act like nothing was happening, like you had no idea what Draco was and a part of you felt miserable for doing so, but other part was believing him, the other part was still loving him and it was hurting to see him and not run in his arms. You decided to let the time pass and decide what would happen with everything – but the time was cruel, because nothing good happened since that night. Dumbledore’s death, the Death Eaters, the continuing agony. You became scared to stay alone, thinking that a Death Eater or even Voldemort would show up and kill you – and Draco wouldn’t be there to protect you.

But when the real battle began, you felt all the adrenaline rushing through your body – Professor McGonagall seemed worried but she gave you the power to fight back, to fight for Hogwarts, for your friends, for Harry, for life. You never tried to spell hexes because it wasn’t necessary, but in the battles you had with some Death Eaters you remembered them all – and you casted them loud, pointing your wand in their direction with hatred. You were running on the same old stairs that led you to the Astronomy Tower, a loud and crazy laugh following you along with a curly hair and dark, mad eyes, thirsty for blood.

“Stop running, little doll!” she screamed when you got up, waiting for her with your wand ready, something that made her laugh. “Stubborn one, aren’t you?” she asked and walked closer to you with tangled steps.

“Crazy one, aren’t you?” you managed to gather your nerve to ask her. She didn’t seem too happy with your comment, because she lifted her wand – before she’d say anything, you screamed the Disarming Charm as loud as you could, making her wand fly from her hand and fall to the ground.

“Well, well,” she laughed, running her tongue over her bloody lips. “You won, now kill me!” she laughed, the sound driving you crazy.

“Shut up! Just shut up!”

“Kill me!”

“Crucio!” you screamed and the green light flashed from the tip of your wand, hitting Bellatrix Lestrange in the middle of her chest. She fell to the ground, laughing – it was hurting, but Bellatrix have been insane for a long, long time.

“Y/N!”

“Draco?” you said to yourself, watching the boy you loved running to you. He grabbed your shoulders, looking at you from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes. “What are you doing here?”

“Are you alright? Did she hurt you?”

You looked at Bellatrix who was still to the ground, and you tighten your fingers around the wand.

“No,” you said and looked back to Draco. He seemed fine and a part of you wanted to scream that he was fine because he was one of them, they wouldn’t hurt him like that crazy woman tried to do to you, but the other part won that battle. You hugged him tight, wanting to make all the things disappear and be just you and him. “I’m scared, Draco,” you whispered.

“You’ll be fine, love,” he said and kissed your temple.

“So she’s the little doll that got you all soft, Draco?”

The fear ran through your body again and you pulled away from Draco, still holding his hands.

“Please,” he said and looked at the crazy woman who got her wand back. He let go of your hand and grabbed his wand, pointing it to her.

“Aw, Draco darling,” she laughed, “Does Cissy know that you’re pointing your want to your family?”Family?

“Aunt Bella, please, don’t hurt her,” Draco breathed heavily, not taking his eyes off of her.

“But she hurt me, Draco,” Bellatrix laughed, got her wand in your direction and casted an unspoken spell, only saying your name.

Draco tried to protect you, getting in front of you, but the purple light went through him and entered your body. The pain was indescribable, like all your internal organs were stabbed with hundred of knives. “No!” he screamed at his aunt, who only laughed louder and waved him goodbye before disappearing into a black cloud of smoke.

You’d feel your members go numb, dropping your wand and falling to the ground, making Draco to scream again like he could physically feel your agony. “Y/N!” he screamed.

Some balls of light were thrown in the tower’s direction, by the people outside, and they made the windows in the roof break, falling upon you along with pieces of tiles. Your sight went blurry, seeing Draco through red spots. “What’s happening, Draco?” you managed to ask him.

“You’re fine, my love,” he cried, tightening your shoulders, trying to hug you without hurting you.

“I can’t see you, hear you,” you cried and coughed; he started to sob even harder, watching the blood drop from your eyes and mouth as you tried to breathe. “I don’t feel very good,” you told him as it weren’t obvious.

“You’ll be alright, my love, stay with me,” he begged you.

His tears were falling on your face, mixing with the blood that was leaving your body – Bellatrix Lestrange chose a curse that gave you a slow and painful death.

“Hey, you,” you said, trying to make him pay attention to you. You looked him in the eyes, trying hard to see them clear. “Don’t you think it’s kinda cute?”

“What?” he whispered.

“Don’t you think it’s kinda cute,” you repeated, “That I died right inside your arms tonight?”

“No! No! No!” he said, his voice shaking. “Don’t you dare to do this to me, Y/N! Do you hear me? Stay with me!”

But you were gone – you left that world with a little smile on your lips, with bloody tears on your face and with the memory of his eyes watching you, of his arms holding you. And that made death a less painful thing for you.

 That I'm fine even after I have died / Because it was in your arms I died

 “No, Y/N!” he screamed, realizing you were gone. “Come back! Come back, Y/N, you own me one!”

“I’m sorry, Draco,” you whispered while watching him from behind – you could also see your lifeless body, laying on the ground with glass pieces, rocks and blood all over it and it made  you cry. You floated over your body and tried the stupidest thing you could think of: going back inside. But it was impossible – it felt like it was locked. Bloody tears were falling from your eyes, and you damned Bellatrix Lestrange for giving you such an ugly death: you’ll cry blood for eternity on the Hogwarts’ halls as a ghost. “I want to come back, Draco!” you screamed at the same time when he asked you to come back.

 I cry in the afterlife / I cry hard because I have died / And you're alive / I try to escape the afterlife / I try hard to get back inside / Your arms tonight

 The battle was over: Lord Voldemort was now dead, Bellatrix Lestrange was dead along with other Death Eaters, but so were a lot of innocent people: now, some students would stay forever in the castle because they chose to remain behind; they, just like you, were too scared of death and chose an imitation of life. As a ghost, you didn’t really felt like showing to everyone; it hurt you enough to know they missed you, and to see their broken souls when they’d realize you’re trapped in this world as a ghost would be more painful than your death. You knew nothing about Draco for a long time – you stayed in the tower all the time, and you already knew that after some years, when the school would be rebuilt, the little kids would call you the ghost of the Astronomy Tower – that thought made you smile; maybe they’d call you Bloody Y/N, or Bloody Crybaby Y/N, or… whatever name would fit a blood-crying ghost. That’s how you spent many months – thinking, crying, whishing you’d have chose the death.

A loud cry woke you up one day – you looked over to the balustrade, where a tall figure was shaking while looking down, down all the way to the ground. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said and you recognized him easily. “I’m so fucking sorry, my love,” he cried again and you approached him. On the ground, at his feet, was a bouquet of white chrysanthemums – they made your eyes tear up immediately.

“I promised you I’d protect you and I failed,” he whispered. “I hate myself since that day, my love,” he confessed.

To let him know about your presence was a bad idea – he’d be devastated to see you that way.

“I’ll see you soon, love,” he spoke to himself, or so he thought because he jumped in surprise when you screamed.

“Wait!”

“Y/N…” he cried, now facing you and crying harder. “You’re… alive?”

“Draco…” you sighed, “What are you doing here?”

He came closer and tried to hug you, but his arms went through you with ease. “You’re… a ghost.”

“Please don’t jump,” you said crying harder than him. It was a horrible image, indeed, to see a blood-crying ghost – but he was in love with you.

“I miss you, Y/N, I want to be with you,” he told you like he asked for permission.

But you shook your head in disapproval. “You won’t like it here, darling,” you smiled. “Please, stay – be happy and live.”

“I love you, Y/N, how could I live without you?” he cried like a little child, helpless.

You pointed to the flowers. “If your love is devoted, you’d spend the rest of your life fulfilling my wish, Draco.”

“Y/N…”

“Stay alive, Draco. I’ll be here, always,” you promised and cried.

He ran his hands through his hair, his blue eyes crying you a river. When he calmed down, he bent over and grabbed the flowers, handing them to you. You cried in pain, but still tried to get them – and you where surprised when you could.

“Come back to me, Y/N,” he said and you tried your best to make his wish come true. You tried to hug him, to kiss his forehead – he could swear he felt your cold skin on his.

“I wish I could, my love,” you said and stayed in front of him, with the sign of his devoted love in your hand.

 And hey (hey), you (you), don't you think it's kinda cute / That I (I) try (try) to escape the afterlife / That I (I) try (try) to get back in your arms alive / That I died in your arms

[folkloreguk]

Querencia (prequel)

A/N: I haven’t written anything in this format in so long, so I hope it’s okay! Someone once asked me to write a prequel to my previous work “Querencia”, so I finally got around to it (after like 2 years rip dfghjk)

[!you don’t have to read both of these parts to understand either one!]

genre: optional bias (male) x reader (female), fluff, explaining how they ended up together, a tiny bit of smut but it’s marked so you can skip if you want, badboy!bias, nerd/shy!reader, her parents are kinda judgemental (only mentioned), secret relationship?, this is an absolute train wreck lmao

words: ~5.2 k

(H/N means “his name”)

ok strap in for this…every time I write a badboy!au I lose a piece of my sanity

basically you used to go to the same school as him

but that’s the only association you had with him because you never actually talked to him in school

he was known to be a “bad boy”

not as in being a horrible person but rather…

he liked to challenge teachers/adults when he didn’t agree with them

and they couldn’t do much because he ended up having pretty decent grades and most of the time his arguments were valid

you had heard your fair share of stories about him

of him getting into a fight with the captain of the football team

apparently, he had stood up for a girl because said captain tried to take advantage of her at a party when she was drunk

you remember being lowkey impressed but didn’t condone violence either way

so, at the same time you were kind of intimidated by him

there were other stories circulating around

of him hooking up with half the school

in quite inappropriate places if I may add

but no one really knew what was the truth tbh

not that it really mattered to you

you were a typical good-girl-nerd-kinda person and so was your friend group

which meant you weren’t even paying attention to him half of the time

plus you thought you’d never see him again after graduating from school

until sooner or later you wouldn’t be given any other choice

because when you walked into your first ever university lecture, he was there

literally one row in front of you???

you were shook because apparently he was studying the same subject as you??

he had even more tattoos and piercings now

one tattoo covered almost the whole front of his neck

he had black boots on and his pants were ripped at the knees

and obviously he had to be wearing a leather jacket

not that you were staring at him (yes you were)

frankly you thought he looked hot

great it’s your first day and you’re already failing to pay attention

and then he turned his head a little and smirked at you???

suddenly you loved looking at your professor and not him

but since you hadn’t paid attention you were left with questions after the lecture

unfortunately the professor was gone before you could ask them

and your social awkwardness made it hard for you to just start talking to a random stranger

so when he go up and made his way to the end of the seats he had to walk past you

“HEy I have a question” you blurted out when he was at your level

the fact that he was so relaxed talking to you made you even more stressed

and he helped you luckily

then, before he could say anything else but the answer to your question, you had escaped the conversation

because perhaps you still found him a little intimidating

but when you walked out of the hall, he quickly caught up to you

“Hold on, do I know you? You seem familiar” he asked

so you had no choice but to explain to him that you went to school together

he was actually really polite to you

but you had sworn yourself education would come first for you, boys second

so you got out of that situation as quickly as possible

the next two weeks you saw him at lectures but always kept out of his way

he said hello a few times and you would nod and smile shyly

within days he had collected a bunch of girls that often sat with him

you guessed he was staying true to his reputation after all

then one day you were in the lovely park behind your university building because you had a break between lectures

you had brought old bread to feed the ducks in the little pond

but suddenly they all swam away from you, over to the other side of the pond

and you couldn’t BELIEVE

he was sitting there, throwing pieces of his perfectly fine sandwich to the ducks all while putting on an extra holy expression

so you went over to fight (not literally lmao)

he greeted you by saying “The ducks made you stop avoiding me?”

you were shook because how did he even notice

“What? You don’t have enough girl-attention yet?” you said

“Not from pretty girls like you” he said

you must have given him a severely disgusted look because he quickly changed his flirty expression

“What made you avoid me? Did I ever say something wrong to you?” he asked

“No you didn’t…you just don’t seem like the crowd I’d hang out with” you confessed

“Wow, I didn’t take you for the judgmental kind” he said

and he looked pretty upset actually??

“I don’t think you’re a bad person” you said

“But I’m home at least by 9 pm every night to study, my parents look at me like I’m a saint, I’ve never been in a relationship and I get nervous when someone as much as raises their voice at me…you strike me as the complete opposite of all those things” you added

without missing a beat, he asked “Don’t they say opposites attract?”

you realized maybe you really had written him off too soon…or perhaps you had worried that he would take your attention off your studies too much

which wouldn’t have been surprising considering how your first lecture with him had gone

and from then on you tried to be nicer to him

sometimes he voluntarily came to sit next to you in class

you didn’t understand why

because you barely spoke to him due to being awkward and when you did you felt like he judged you for being so shy

he had a way with words and within days you found yourself thinking of him more

his stupidly handsome features, tattooed knuckles and pierced eyebrow…it all attracted you maybe a little too much

it was terrifying to you…how he talked to you so easily and already you were eating right off his spoon

what if he was only playing around and you were nothing but a toy girl to him

but then you cursed yourself for saying that…he said he wasn’t a bad person and you were going to believe so unless he proved himself otherwise

spoiler: that never happened

one autumn night you walked out of university after class, it was dark already and pouring rain

you realized you had forgotten your umbrella at home…but you had to walk there by foot…absolutely fantastic

so you pulled your hood over your head and braced yourself to get completely soaked within seconds

suddenly you heard a voice behind you

“Let me bring you home” he said

“No worries, I’m fine” you tried to tell him

“Come on. You said you live twenty minutes from here. If you get on my motorbike I’ll get you home within a few minutes” he said

you were like “Motorbike??”

“Yeah, come on, it’s over there” he said, and he walked ahead of you

basically he didn’t really give you time to argue

when you didn’t follow him right away, he turned around and gave you a look

“You’ll only get a cold if you walk home in this weather” he said

although your parents had drilled into you the idea that motorbikes were dangerous, you went with him after all

he offered you his spare helmet and you put it on

but you were struggling to close it

so he helped you

he was focused on the helmet, but you were staring at him just because you could

his hair was completely soaked by now and water drops were running down his black leather jacket

he had a habit of biting the inside of his cheek when he was concentrating

and with his hands almost on your face, it was the closest he’s ever been to you

it made you weirdly nervous tbh

but before you knew it he had closed the helmet and told you to get onto the motorcycle behind him

“Hold on to the back of the bike or to me” he said

you were surprised at how he didn’t urge you to touch him

and at first you held on to the tail of the motorcycle but the moment you hit a speed bump you changed your mind QUICKLY

your arms swung around his waist tightly and you felt his chest move when he chuckled

like he had said, it only took a few minutes to get you home, and you told him the way there

and surprisingly you really liked being on the motorcycle???

you had thought you’d be scared but it felt amazing

except for how freezing cold the wind was on your wet cheeks ☹

shortly before you pulled up in your street you told him

“You should let me get off a little earlier…my mom will kill me if she sees me on a motorbike”

he didn’t argue but stopped two houses before yours

you felt like the rain had gotten even worse so you really didn’t have time for big words

you quickly thanked him and he gave you his famous smirk before you ran home as quickly as possible

when you had reached the front door you turned his way and he was still there, making sure you got inside

looking at him there, in the downpour in his cool jacket and on his motorcycle, your cheeks involuntarily got hotter

when you got into your room that night and checked your phone, you had one new message on Instagram

you opened it and it was from him???

“Take a warm shower or you’ll be sick tomorrow” it said

he must had sent it seconds after you had entered your house before he had driven away

he really became a bigger mystery to you from one day to the other

because you had no idea what all of this meant???

maybe you should have gotten the hint way earlier

but you didn’t really know the first thing about dating so how were you supposed to know?

but then around two weeks later something else occurred

again, you had class until the early evening

on this specific day, your university was hosting a party for the new students

technically, you would have fallen into that group of new students

but you weren’t one for partying and after being in class for hours on end, all you wanted was to crawl into your bed and rest

so when your course had ended you made your way out of the university building

and you could tell the party had already started because of the music playing

plus there were people all over the place

some were already drunk…you would have been surprised but also this was university after all

you quickly stepped out onto the street and began walking in the direction of your home

from somewhere, you suddenly heard voices

they were making gross noises, as if calling a cat, and asking “sweetheart, do you have a minute?”

when you turned your head, you saw a group of (most certainly) drunk men-boys goggling at you

and because you didn’t slow down or even react to them, they walked after you

you told yourself they would leave you alone if you only walked far enough from the bus station they had waited at

but inside your pocket you clenched your keys between your knuckles

all of a sudden, something touched your shoulders

you almost had a heart attack and raised your hand out of your pocket

“You didn’t wait for me” H/N said from next to you

he placed his infamous leather jacket around your frame and swung an arm around your shoulder

you were about to tell him he had scared the living hell out you

but he was only glaring at the disgusting guys behind you

“I suggest you go home and sleep it off. And learn to take a hint from a girl when she’s this visibly uninterested” he said

the enraged stare he sent to the group of young men made even you feel slightly uneasy

but it worked…they distanced themselves from you if only hesitantly and with a clearly pissed off attitude

“Thank you” you said and were about to give him back his jacket

“Nothing to thank me for. And I gave you that because your sweater looks really thin. Keep it for now” he said

you were taken aback…as always

“Why aren’t you driving your motorbike today?”

“I am, but it’s parked around the corner here. Want me to drive you home?” he asked

and he gave the look again

which look you may ask

the one in which he stared at your eyes and then at your lips…and then your eyes…and then your lips

and his lips were so pretty

“You know what I want?” you asked, “I wanna know if there’s anything you want from me”

he furrowed his brows in confusion

“Why are you always being like this to me?” you went on

“Are you trying to get into my pants?” you blurted out

and then instantly regretted it  

especially when he said “Do I really seem like that kind of person?”

“I’ve heard stories about you…” you said

“What kind of stories?” he asked

“Of you hooking up with half of our school back then” you said

he laughed???

and then said “And does it matter how many people I’ve had sex with?”

“It makes me think that’s what you want from me, too. And if that’s the case, I’ll have to disappoint you” you said

“Jesus, Y/N. I want to date you” he said

when I say you were shocked it would be an understatement

hot-tattooed-bad-boy wanted to date you??

and you must have signaled those exact words just by your expression

because he said “I’m telling you again, opposites attract. Don’t you at least wanna give it a try?”

of course you wanted to

“Alright…but I’ve never done this before” you said

“We’ll take it slow, I promise” he said

and then “That means I can finally tell you how goddamn adorable you are”

was it gonna be like this forever??? he compliments you and you feel like your cheeks are on fire???

probably

“I’ll bring you home, come on” he said, swinging his arm around your shoulder again

even this gesture made you shy

you didn’t even know how to respond

and this time, being behind him on the motorbike felt like a whole new sensation

now you were close to him, knowing he wanted you there as much as you did…

and it 100% made you scream on the inside

when he dropped you off, you didn’t know if you were supposed to hug him???

you awkwardly handed him his jacket back

“So, where are we going on our first date?” he asked

“First date?” you asked

“Yeah…people who date usually go on dates, don’t they?” he teased you

“Um…what about the cinema?” you suggested

“Fine, let’s see what they’re showing and I’ll text you, okay?” he said

and he texted you remotely fifteen minutes after you had arrived at home that night

…

so you went to the cinema the next day

before the date, you were essentially losing your mind

what were you supposed to wear??

would he care what you wore??

but even if he didn’t, you wanted to look pretty

your anxiety was kind of going through the roof for hours before he even arrived

he had picked you up, somehow looking even hotter than usually??

or maybe those were just your hormones going insane

���You look beautiful” he said when you had climbed onto the motorbike behind him

“And you look handsome” you had replied

his smile had a faint shyness in it, but only for the blink of a second

at the cinema, you weren’t sure how to act differently around a crush than when you were with friends tbh

did you want to hold his hand?? hell yeah

did you do it?? absolutely not

did you want to point out obsessed you were with his body art?? most certainly

did you?? oh no way, you weren’t gonna expose yourself like that (yet)

luckily, he was easy to talk to and had the patience of a saint

he grinned at you when you would become shy, as if it wasn’t the most embarrassing thing EVER to you, especially in front of him

he also probably called you cute like 13 times whilst you were waiting for the movie to begin alone

in the dark, your hands brushed whenever you both reached for the popcorn at the same time

when you looked over at him, he was chuckling

“Are you doing that on purpose?” he whispered

“No way!” you whispered back

“No? I am” he said

you didn’t even know how to respond to that

but he seemed very pleased with himself when he tilted his head at you flirtingly

were there supposed to be this many butterflies in your belly at only your first date?

what have I gotten myself into??? you thought

…

afterwards you walked back to his motorcycle, shoulders brushing now and then

you were in the middle of analyzing every second of the film you had watched, gesturing around in the air and talking excitedly

he leaned against his motorbike and grinned at you in pure admiration while he listened

mid-sentence you suddenly said “Sorry, did I get too invested in this? Do you wanna bring me home now?”

“What? No, if anything I wanna listen to you for another few hours” he said “Do you wanna come back to my place?”

you didn’t know if he was flirting or joking again, but his face was serious

plus you weren’t sure what ‘coming back to his place’ really intended

and once again his sense for reading your mind struck

“I’m not talking about having sex, if that’s why you look so worried. This is only our first date, remember? If you simply don’t feel like it, that’s cool, I’ll bring you home” he said

“No, I want to go with you” you quickly changed your mind “But I have to be home by midnight, or my parents will worry”

“I’ll get you back home by then” he said, smiling in triumph

…

his flat impressed you in a couple of ways

you admired that he already lived alone

plus it was so much more organized and cleaner than you had expected it from a college boy

his bedroom was your favorite part of the apartment

there was no doubt it was his and only his place

posters of his favorite films were plastered on the walls, his bedsheets were dark, a neon sign hung above the headboard of his bed and in the corner, a vinyl player stood

you loved the windowsill that gave you a view out of the fifth-floor flat and had the impulse to sit down there, to watch the cars pass by on the street underneath

“make yourself at home” he had said

and somehow you had ended up on his bed, right next to him

he let you rest your head on his arm while he listened to you

not only did you discuss the movie you had seen

you also talked about literally anything either of you loved

and you realized quickly, that aside from the different way of living, you had surprisingly many things in common

he put on his favorite plate on the vinyl player so you could listen to the music he loved

when he laid down next to you again, he offered his open arms

for the first time, you put your cheek against his chest, listening not only to the music but also his heartbeat

you remember liking his cologne and how warm he was

“I’ve never been so close to someone who wasn’t my friend or family” you admitted quietly

“Does it feel different?” he asked

“Of course” you said

did he not realize???

how your heart hammered against your ribcage and butterflies were flooding your belly and how there was only him in your head and his stupid cute smile and his tattoos and piercings and deep voice and ohmygodhisvoice

but when you looked up from his chest and checked his expression, he looked equally as fond as you felt

“Being with you feels different from being with other girls to me, too” he said

“It feels so much better” he added then

“What do you see in me that you don’t see in them?” you asked suddenly

“I have to admit, at first I thought it was cute, teasing you and seeing you get shy, well, I guess it still is. I liked the idea of getting to know someone with such a completely different image, so sweet and good” he said

and as he did, he softly brushed his hand over your lip

you thought you were going to have a heart attack

“But damn you’re so funny and kind…how can I not want you this way?” he said

and he looked so honest, almost vulnerable, a sight you never thought you’d see

“In which way?” you asked

“In every way” he said

and with one look, he erased all fears you’d had about him and how he might have felt about you

suddenly you understood why people went on dates all the time and searched for love…

at some point you realized how it was past midnight already

he drove you home quickly, and luckily you didn’t get into too much trouble with your parents

this time when he dropped you off, he gave you a hug that made you want to stay in his arms forever

from then on, your feelings could only get worse and you were stressed about what it would do to you

you thought your crush was bad then?? it was nothing

within the next weeks, you fell head over heels for the cliché bad boy and there was no way to stop it

you had told him you didn’t want to prioritize a relationship over your education

so 90% of your dates ended up being study dates

although he was the biggest distraction in your life, this way you at least got a little something done

usually, it went a little like this:

you’d be sitting down at a library table, with him across from you

your head would be buried in a book within minutes, only occasionally looking up at him

and he’d be busy telling you all things he could possibly come up with:

“Have I ever told you how gorgeous your eyes are? I know, even if you’re not looking at me”

“There’s a really cute girl here, but she’s ignoring me. Do you think she likes me too?”

“Hey, do you wanna go out with me sometime, like…on a date? A real date?”

“You know what other people do at the library? There’s an empty space way in the back, I can show you…”

yes sometimes he’d say suggestive things to you

but they were jokes, simply a part of his character

he never pressured you to do anything

even your first kiss took a while to occur

it was one night when he brought you home from a date (this time a real one)

when you said your goodbyes, you suddenly felt an overwhelming wave of affection

his eyes were so warm and only on you, always

softly, his tongue swept over his bottom lip, teeth toying with his piercing

“Can you kiss me?” you asked

something sparked in his eyes…he had won even more of your trust, and rightfully so

his fingers gently lifted your chin, and you always thought you’d be nervous through your first kiss, but no…it was serenity

it was butterflies peacefully floating and fireworks going off all at the same time

had you known how good this felt, you would have asked him to kiss you way earlier tbh

the whole evening until you fell asleep you couldn’t stop smiling

and you liked to think even in slumber, the corners of your mouth had been curled upwards because of him

from then on, kissing him had turned into your favorite pastime

it was especially bad when you tried to have “study dates” at his place

90% of the time, your studying turned into making out with him

oh? you’re taking a break and getting a glass of water from the kitchen? oops now you’re on his sofa, sitting in his lap and kissing

the way he handled you with such confidence and made flirty remarks all the way through your make-out-sessions only reminded you of his experience

sometimes you felt bad, knowing he was holding himself back

other days you wished he wasn’t so hesitant with touching you less innocently

but sometimes you did stop him, if his hands wandered a little too far down your torso, or if things seemed to get too steamy

he would always apologize, even if you told him there was nothing wrong

but his confidence made you feel more comfortable with every time you were in his arms

!!!SMUT AHEAD IN ITALICS

one day you were in the middle of watching a movie on his bed

but all you had been thinking of were his lips and hands

when you kissed him, things quickly turned more intense

only this time you asked him to go further

initially, he was worried

“I wish I could make this more special for you” he said

“If it’s with you, it’s perfect, no matter where and when” you assured him

the first time, he was the most gentle he’s ever been with you

because he had never pressured you and you had chosen this exact moment yourself, you weren’t even close to as nervous as you thought you’d be

and from then on, you only became more comfortable when it came to sex

you could tell he loved showing you and trying new things with you

and before you knew it, he was actually showing you that empty space at the back of the library he had joked about

usually, you were hesitant to do anything risky in public

but when it was late and the library was nearing closing hours, it was almost fully vacant

he could never get enough of your innocent eyes while your lips were wrapped around his cock, kneeling on the carpet floor of the university library in front of him

he’d never get over when he fucked you from behind, two of his fingers in your mouth, muffling your moans while you were hidden behind the bookshelves

other nights he’d show up outside of your house in the middle of the night, just because he missed you so much

*cough* querencia *cough*

there was something about nighttime that made you feel as if you were the only two people in the world

then it would be him and you in his bed, on his kitchen counter, his sofa, his shower or any random wall of his apartment

now you might have understood why the girls loved him

but they didn’t love him the way you did

!!!SMUT ENDING

he loved showing you off to his friends

some of them looked equally as intimidating as him

but as you had learned, most of that was simply looks and wasn’t to be taken seriously

when you hung out with his friends, he had you sitting in his lap, usually bragging about something you had done or said to him

you were like his personal, pretty gem and he was making sure everyone knew

and as much as he wanted you to be known to his friends, you wished you could have told your parents about him

one day, they would understand how much you loved him

they would be able to look past his tattoos and pierced skin and see how amazing he was

but for now, he was your little secret

every night, he sent you a goodnight text right before you went to sleep

sometimes he’d attach a picture of himself

in his pajamas, with messy hair and heavy eyelids, even he looked almost cute to you

other nights, when he was still out, it’d be a mirror selfie, with his hair pushed back perfectly, lifting his head so you’d see your favorite tattoo of his on his neck

his clothes pitch black and shirt lazily tucked into his belt on one side

his eyes would have the cocky gaze you knew from when you first met him

only now it was only meant for you

his message would read:

“I love you angel. See you in your dreams”

[our-love-forever]

- Yoga Time -

a/n: some funny headcanons with a couple of the Overwatch guys trying out yoga at your upcoming class! 

Doomfist

thinks yoga is “too girly”

somehow you are able to plead him to go with you this once

he’s all grumpy and scoffs at you whenever you try to look at him (he does them good though)

“Now everyone, find peace within yourself…” (Doomfist throws a glare at your direction as the teacher says that)

he cannot find peace within himself

although his muscles get in the way, causing him not to be able to fully do some poses

“You will never, ever see me doing this again.”

don’t even mention the word yoga in his presence after that one class

Genji

“Yoga? I have always wondered what it’s like, actually.”

even though he can’t feel much because of his metallic body, he does feel some peace of mind from this kind of practice

all of the poses and turns are so easy for him, he doesn’t even have to try (his flexibility had been enhanced obviously)

the instructor definitely throws a sophisticated pose here and there just to see if Genji can truly do it (everyone gawks at him)

enjoys it so much that he would definitely do it again with you

“When’s the next class?” (eventually starts jotting down the dates for yoga day)

McCree

“What in tarnation is this yoga?”

you explain to him what it is and he’s just like “ok, whatever, I’ll go”

it is quite harder than he thought

“I thought you said this was supposed to be relaxing!” He yells in a whisper next to you while doing the triangle pose

he’s sweating so much throughout the whole class that others start to worry

may have been hard, but he would do it again (at home in secret; the both of you may even do it together if Jesse’s the one that proposes the idea)

Reaper

“Don’t. Even. Think. About it.”

somehow, you are able to take him to one of your classes (you totally made him go)

the whole time he’s moping about being there like a small child

his dark aura has everyone freaked out (but they know yoga class in an open place for everybody; still weary)

but starts to fancy it because of the small challenge the poses give (won’t admit any of this to you)

may or may not come back to the classes with you… who knows

Soldier: 76

he was hesitant at first because of his age but you reassured him that everyone of all ages does yoga

decides to go and is quite excited about it

oh god… his bones and muscles are not made for this kind of twisting anymore

beginner poses are feasible for him but those like the half-seated twist? Oh boy

did his back just pop? (feels good but not good)

“Thank you, sweetheart, but… I don’t think this is for me”

maybe he could take it a little slower next time (beginner poses = his forté)

Hanzo

not sure about it but guesses he could at least give it a try, just for your sake

“Is this how you do it? No, wait, I got it.” (doesn’t got it)

“I don’t think that’s where your leg goes, Hanzo…”  

“Oh… really?”

he gets tense at times but then shakes it off

improvises poses in a way that seem almost impossible at first (but with some explaining, it is actually possible)

surprisingly he does like it and wants to practice more with you at home

becomes a daily routine to do yoga together (but nobody must know. Nobody)

Reinhardt

“Let’s go! Show them what a Crusader can do!”

so excited he wants to go already, even though the class is in two days

takes almost a quarter of space in the small room (doesn’t notice because of his excitement)

he’s got the hang of the poses but… he’s so close to touching the other people in the room

“See me go, liebeling. I’m so good at this!”

“Hush, Reinhardt!”

he’s going to next week’s class and nothing can stop him

Winston

“Uh, you sure I can go? Me being a gorilla and all…”

with some reassurance, he decides to go, a little nervous though

there are some poses he can do while others are just impossible (his physical structure just won’t allow it)

plough pose? Can’t touch the floor with his feet (rolls backwards as consequence)

nervously laughs from time to time as he adorably fails (laughing can save lives!)

a room full of humans is not his kind of place so instead he practices at his own place (has Athena download several yoga-related videos)

Lúcio

he likes exercising so it’s no wonder he accepts to go do yoga with you

he attracts a ton of people once you guys get to the class (being famous comes with its perks and flaws)

his moves are so groovy when he switches from one pose to another that it kind of distracts some of the people there

will not stop humming to a rhythm found within himself (did the instructor start humming too?)

“Man, yoga is too slow for me. I need more movement!”

doesn’t go to the next class with you

Zenyatta

“Ah, yoga. Such a wonderful practice. I would be delighted to accompany you in your next class.”

how is he able to make all of the poses look so graceful? (so envious)

he’s not evening touching the mat underneath him!

ok, now he’s touching it (starts floating a few seconds later anyway)

the orbs around him swirl and move in such a mesmerizing way that it has some people distracted (so tempting to touch them too)

confesses he knew some yoga poses from articles he had looked at before (envy increases)

he quite likes it and is anticipating to go to your next class already (maybe telling him to leave his orbs at home is a good suggestion)

[allbrainrot]

Hi! First, i love your writing🥺 Now to the point. How about felix, sylvain and dimitri pinning after the female reader? We are basically yeeting ingrid and placing a fem reader instead😂 Like, they are childhood friends and the three of them have had a lovestruck for her since they were kids? And now they just end up fighting for her love or smth? Either hdcns or an scenario is fine! You can pick whichever you wish! However if you dont want to write this req please dont feel forced to! Love u🥺

Thank you so much!! 🖤 And yes, you got it! Bye Ingrid LMAO 😎😎 I write pre timeskip wayyy better so I’m gonna just say that reader is 18 (i don’t write NSFW or anything but age is still a thing lol) so that they’re in between the ages of Dimi + Felix & Sylvain and it works out, hope you don’t mind! I love you too anon 🥺

- Dimi is probably the first one to catch feels when they’re kids! Felix does too but he’s kinda just like wtf is this??? until someone teases him about it. Sylvain is quite ✨special✨ with romance but I think he’d be inclined to trust you a lot more because you’ve known him since you were teeny tiny before you even knew wtf a crest was! So he probably also catches feels when you’re kids but then he goes through his whole girl phase SIGH

- None of them realize their predicament until they all see you again at the officer’s academy together. I wouldn’t say they’re super obvious about it, but they’re teenagers (well Syl isn’t but shhhhh) who all like the same person so they’re going to pick up on each other’s crushes while reader remains ignorant. It’s not an issue that needs to be addressed immediately, but they’re all watching each other cautiously.

- Syl would have a massive head start on flirting with you, but he’s faced with the big issue that you don’t believe he’s being genuine and brush him off. Felix is constantly challenging you to duels to get close to you and also have alone time with you, although the other 2 will occasionally ruin his plans and insist on joining. Ah man bby Dimitri would probably come across as a little overbearing because he’s very protective of you and is constantly offering to do things for you. He’s just a mother hen that’s whipped for you and doesn’t know any other way to express it!

- When it comes to the 4 of you sitting together at lunch or in class, Sylvain is the worst. He’s very aware that his competition is far less bold than him, and so he’s making sure he’s always closest to you. Will squish as close to you as humanly possible HE WOULD DEADASS PUT YOU IN HIS LAP IF HE COULD 😭 If he puts a hand on your thigh or an arm around you it’s a wholeass declaration of war.

- Felix will likely become much more protective which may cause a lot of yelling at you for being careless or weak, but really he’s just so worried! To ease his mind, he’ll help you correct your mistakes himself (which has the added bonus of getting really close to you and occasionally lowkey holding hands when he adjusts your grip). Around other people, especially Dimitri and Sylvain he’ll be evidently sweeter to you to get the message across. A blended mix of jealousy and concern will make him very protective of you around the other two. Dimitri is not getting within 5 feet of you while guard dog Felix is around.

- In the Blue Lions the tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife everyone is thoroughly confused but frankly just sick of it lol. Felix glaring at Dimitri? That’s totally normal but Dimitri is doing it back AND Sylvain is added to the weird stare off- wtf happened?? Byleth would have to talk to them after class and be like guys what in the goddess’s name happened 😭 They’ll all give a vague answer that doesn’t give away that it’s about you and each one of them has a jab at the others to shift the blame..please find your chill lads !

- At this point everything gets a little bit needier because they’ve all had this pent up yearning but have been blocked by the others. (If you’re ok with it) Sylvain will just randomly peck you on the cheek or your forehead when he sees you and you’re just like LOL ok ✨typical Sylvain✨ But when you sit next to him at lunch or in class he’s started very tenderly holding your hand under the table and you’re like huh ok that’s a little odd. If Dimitri is on the other side of you he will carefully take your other hand in retaliation. Felix will probably give in and do the same but he’ll snatch your hand a lot more aggressively and look away from you with a scowl and a blush.

- Dimi and Felix are both touch starved AF and would very much appreciate cuddles or any physical contact. If you’ve reacted positively to everything thus far, Dimitri will slowly start to bite the bullet and initiate affection because he wants it so bad. Any time you touch Dimitri, he gets sappy and lovey af and will express his adoration in hopes that you’ll keep giving him affection. Felix would never upfront ask for affection but he just kinda sits really close to you and glares at you with a little pout and you will have to realize that this is Felix language for ‘it is a crime that you aren’t cuddling me rn’.

- Obviously Sylvain gets lots of physical contact with women but I don’t ever see it as holding affection yknow?? Like yeah he spends a night or two with chicks after them crest babies™️ (i cannot take myself seriously this sentence is so funny-), but I don’t really think that they’ve done actual cuddling or casual displays of affection like petting someone’s hair because they likely don’t care too much for Sylvain and will just do the bare minimum. So in a way, Sylvain is also starved of affectionate touches and he would very much appreciate the little things that no one else has done for him. It’s new and scary for him to actually seek romantic attention, but he’s still pretty bold, just not very tactful when it comes to you lol. If you’re sitting by yourself on a bench he will not hesitate to sprawl himself out on top of you with his head in your lap and stare up at you with an innocent grin. Is also lowkey not embarrassed to whine or pester you?? His reputation is pretty hopeless at this point so what does he have to lose by sitting behind you in class and poking you while dramatically whining about you not paying attention to him?

- Attention is a huge deal to Sylvain. It’s one of the main things he’s looking for when he randomly flirts with people at the monastery. He can’t handle being ignored and that leads him to often seek many girls at once so that he always has attention when one is busy. But when it comes to you he finds himself in deep shit because once he’s gotten a little bit from you, everyone else seems minuscule and with others he only receives a mere fraction of the satisfaction he gets from being with you. So he’s gradually allotting more and more time to you until he hardly talks to any other girl. But Sylvain is used to being the one that everyone wants more of, so when he finds himself in the shoes of the smitten women that piss him off, he’s plagued by the worry that you’ll think he’s overly needy. So he comes to seek validation from you too. If he can just get you to comb your fingers through his hair or give him a kiss on the cheek then he can renew his confidence in trying to court you.

- Dimi is somewhat similar but for different reasons and in different ways. Dimitri has practically no experience with romance so he’s extremely smitten and has an overwhelming desire for the affection you give him that he’s never had. But he’s painfully aware of how extreme his feelings are in comparison to any other couples he may have seen at the monastery, and he’s terrified that he’ll scare you away if he expresses exactly how much he yearns for you. So Dimitri is always very visibly holding back much like he often holds back his strength. Dimi will do anything for you or with you, but you have to initiate it so he can be certain that he’s not smothering you. On days where he’s extremely lovey and never wants to let go of you (which is kind of often lol) he will constantly ask if you’re sure that he’s not bothering you. He is just so horrified at the thought of messing up whatever it is you have.

- Felix will be very easily overwhelmed by you, so it’s much better if you wait to cuddle up to him until you can both go to one of your rooms. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be touched, he does, but his feelings for you make him way too vulnerable for his liking, so he’s not going to want anyone else around. Felix is still Felix and he goes off to take out his feelings in the training grounds every free day, but has started occasionally coming to your room when he’s done for the day and receiving his required cuddle time away from prying eyes. He may have accidentally fallen asleep with you a couple times..

- You’ve probably snuck in to sleep in Dimi’s room on occasions when he’s dangerously sleep deprived. The man, the myth, the legend Dedue would definitely help sneak you in because he knows it does Dimi a lot of good. Dimitri is able to fall asleep with you practically on top of him in his grasp. Feeling your heartbeat close by and your hair beneath his head and hearing you breath peacefully is enough to ground him from his fear of losing you too. He’ll still have nightmares, trauma is a bitch, but when you’re there you can bring him back down and he’ll eventually be able to fall back to sleep (which he typically can’t do alone). It’s not a perfect night’s sleep, but it’s enough to keep Dimi functional and that’s what you’re there for. He’ll thank you a million times and unnecessarily apologize for the inconvenience, please do what you can to reassure him that he’s not a nuisance to you. 

- SIGH Sylvain, this god damn silly little goose, is extremely distressed by his feelings for you and even moreso by his developed neediness. It honestly kinda scares the shit out of him to realize he’s whipped for someone and at a loss for a way to ask you out. He’s used to having that power, to have someone’s feelings in the palm of his hand where he can do anything he wants. Genuinely trying to figure out how he would court someone is a frightening new thing for him and he’s suddenly on a playing field where he doesn’t have his experience or his power to shield himself with. So he reverts to his old ways to try to get a handle on his fear and have his confidence boosted back up. But of course, Syl still wants all the attention he can get from you so you so he spends all of the day with you, then does his other girl bullshit at night! It doesn’t go as smoothly as planned though..Sylvain is used to being yelled at by crying girls, but it hasn’t gone unnoticed that he ignores them all day and drops by whenever he feels like it, and he ends up getting in some pretty nasty arguments that do not help his already vulnerable state. So it’s like 2 AM and Sylvain’s feeling like a sorry sack of potatoes and just wants to be held by someone and talk until falling asleep in their arms. And there’s only one person who Sylvain wouldn’t mind being open with and who could provide him genuine comfort..and you’re the lucky winner of the ‘Sylvain on your doorstep at 2 AM’ lottery!! Unless your sleep schedule is wack you’re gonna be all groggy like hey uhh wtf Syl??? And that is how the occasional nights that Sylvain falls asleep in your room happen!

- If the 3 of these scenarios interfere with each other ummmmmmmmm no they didn’t 😳

Ok! That’s where I’m leaving off because I don’t want to try to write endings with you picking one of them it just makes me kinda sad LMAO. Bro omg it’s the return of the ridiculously long Allister fics she do be goin a little insane though 😳 But for real I’ve been gradually adding to this for like?? a week? And I just kept picking cute relationship milestones or whatever in my walnut brain and writing a point for each of them so that the 3 of them are equally written. So it might not line up perfectly but I hope you like it!!

[hqprotectionsquad]

Helloo! 👋🏻 Can I request hcs of Tsukki, Kuroo, and Akaashi’s reaction to where the reader is their bff and they did the ‘kissing my bestfriend’ tiktok challenge 🥺 like what would the outcome be, will it be awkward or sweet hehe THANK YOUUU 😁❤️

somehow made this really long but it’s ok bc they’re cuties (i might use the akaashi hcs to make a full one-shot hehe, i like how i imagined it!)

Tsukishima Kei

Of all the boys you were friends with, you become the closest with Tsukishima. He’s not as bad as people say he is.

You thought he was pretty cool and a great friend, up until he brushes your shoulder by accident. Your brain goes blank and your next thought is oh, no.

You may or may not have a crush on him from that moment after, and you don’t know how to react, because that’s your best friend! It’s an unspoken rule that you should most definitely not have a crush on your best friend.

You tiptoe around everything very lightly, not knowing how he would react if you told him so suddenly, so when you see a trend on TikTok where girls are kissing their best friends, you think, Great! I can do that with Tsukki. 

Well, you are confident for two seconds up until you realize that’s a crazy idea, but you do it anyway because what do you have to lose? Only your best friend.

You decide to do it when you’re hanging out with him one-on-one. Your heart is beating so hard, you’re afraid that he can hear it from where he sits next to you on the couch.

You’re watching a show with him and he looks really concentrated. When you tap him, he doesn’t move his head and instead asks, “What?”

It’s now or nothing. You push his chin toward you with a finger and press your lips against his, and he immediately responds and kisses you back.

You pull away with your eyes wider than saucers. Before you can say anything else, he pulls you in for a second kiss and more and more. You’re almost full-on making out at this point, so you pull away again.

“Kei, what are you doing?”

“I knew you liked me already.”

“Do you like me back then?”

“I was just waiting for you to make a move. We don’t have to talk about it if we know what we want already.” He speaks so nonchalantly and you roll your eyes. You can’t believe that you just had a make out session — with your best friend, nonetheless — and he won’t tell you how he feels.

“That’s exactly why we have to talk about it.”

“Fine,” he says, sounding exasperated. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

Kuroo Tetsurou

Kuroo’s usually really great at picking things up, but you suppose not when it comes to romantic feelings.

He’s had his fair share of significant others, and those people became significant others because he confessed to them and not the other way around.

In fact, you’ve been there when he wanted advice on these people, asking you if he’d stand a chance, how you think they would respond.

Did he never consider you as a viable option? You could never tell because he’s always mouthing off about some other person and how great they are. It’s a little frustrating, but nothing you’re not used to, right?

He likes to take you out often though, even if he’s in a relationship. (He did complain that a few of his significant others said you were too close to him for their comfort.)

However, this time around, there is no person latching onto his arm. You make sure that he’s completely healed from his last relationship, even if it only lasted a month.

You’re winding down after a dinner with him and you keep thanking him for paying for your meal, which you could have paid for yourself. He’s a gentleman through and through.

You make sure to set up your phone where it has the wide view of the front seats of Kuroo’s car, but he doesn’t really suspect anything else.

“So, yeah, I think Kenma was pretty surprised about it, but I told him not to worry. It’s just a game, but not to him obviously. It’s fun to play, it’s hard and I like trying to beat the other people too. I think Kenma’s rubbing off on me.” 

You try to listen to what he says, but all you can think about is how you want to kiss him, and so you take his jaw into your hands and press your lips to his for a second.

Kuroo pulls back really quickly, and the second he does, apologies come flowing out of your mouth.

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t know how you would respond, so I just wanted to go for it. I really like you and I’m pretty sure you don’t like me the same way and — are you okay, Tetsu?”

He’s actually speechless and this hardly happens because he always has something to say, but even when he tries to think of something, nothing comes to mind. His silence doesn’t fit him but he just doesn’t know how to react.

“I just don’t know what to say. I didn’t expect you to like me.”

Akaashi Keiji

Keiji has been your best friend since childhood. When you were visibly upset on the playground, only one person helped you and it was a small boy with blue eyes.

He’s been with you ever since then and he’s seen you through all of your changes, and you’ve seen his too. You saw him when he first began adoring onigiri, and you saw him when he formed his habit of playing with his fingers.

The fact that you’ve been friends for nearly ten years scares you half to death when you realize you have started to see him in a different life — in a romantic light.

At first, you can’t tell if it’s just a fluke and you’re maybe seeing him in an attractive way because you saw him shirtless recently, but it turns out that it was only the beginning.

Now, any time you think, your brain brings you back to Akaashi. When you go to the supermarket, you think of him when his favorite snacks are in the aisle. In class, when he sits next to you, you think how soft his hands must be to hold.

Eventually, you can’t handle not saying anything. It hurts to not know, so you make a plan to confess with your actions instead of your words.

It’s a Saturday night and the Fukurodani boys are over for a movie night. On the inside, you’re grumbling because while you enjoy Bokuto and Konoha’s antics, you initially asked Akaashi to come over but then the rest of the boys invited themselves. You cross your arms while you sit next to Akaashi and everyone else fills in the couch or sits on the floor.

After one movie, the rest of the team shows themselves out, for whatever reason it is. The next movie begins playing and it’s just hard to focus because this is the perfect opportunity. You set up your camera as if you just left it there by accident and you make your move.

Akaashi is watching the movie intently so you push your worries to the side and climb into his lap. You steady yourself by putting your hands on his shoulders. You can’t take back this moment. You’re already bold, you might as well hit a home run while you’re at it.

To your surprise, he kisses you first. You kiss for about a minute, but it feels so much longer.

One look into his eyes has you scrambling out of his lap and crunching yourself into a ball. Akaashi doesn’t say anything about you leaving his presence.

“I’ve always liked you, (Y/N). I didn’t know you felt that way about me too.” He’s rubbing the back of his neck, but it doesn’t appear to be out of embarrassment. In fact, his sharp gaze is hard on your eyes and you’ve seen a similar concentration when he plays volleyball.

You’re speechless. Your best friend has always had feelings for you? So you do what you can only think of doing — you kiss him again.

(Of course, later on, he makes sure he takes the time to fully express in words how he feels about you, which leads to a very long discussion of your feelings for each other.)

[cancerbiophd]

Why am I so afraid of professors? They're all so smart and cool and I always feel like I'm not good enough, especially when they appear to be irked or treat me coldly/with hostility. It makes me feel stupid and unadequate and unworthy. I'm terribily uneasy every time I have to interact with them. Even if I studied hard and I know I'm saying something correct i tend to get unsure and submissive, like in a very 'i-hope-i'm-doing-this-right' and 'please-don't-hurt-me' way. Of course this affects my exams because it looks like I'm not sure of what I'm saying... and the professor gets irked even more because they obviously think I haven't studied and I'm wasting their time. I hate myself for it. Please, do you have any tips to overcome this?

Hi Anon, ohh I know that experience very well. I also used to be absolutely terrified of professors when I was in college. Raising my hand to ask a question in lecture? Nuh uh! Going to office hours? NUH UH. I had huuuge anxiety regarding all that. 

But it slowly got better (though it took longer than I--and my grades--would’ve hoped), so I have some ideas on how you can also become more comfortable around professors. Feel free to try any you feel comfortable doing, and also keep in mind this is in no way a comprehensive list of ideas, and that everything will take baby steps and most importantly, time. 

Firstly, know it’s not your fault. I’m not a therapist or anything so take this with a grain of salt, but it seems to me that something traumatizing may have happened in your past/still happening in your present to create this current feeling of fear around authority figures, especially if one of your constant fears is being physically hurt by them. If that seems to ring true, I highly recommend seeking the advice of a professional therapist, as they can help you find more permanent solutions through these types of obstacles. I think seeking a therapist would be a very kind thing you can do to take care of yourself because, most importantly, you deserve to live a life free from fear, and secondly, it’s affecting your day-to-day life (ie. your grades and mental well-being).

Secondly, I really hope you have a really good experience with a professor one day. A professor who is so kind and so passionate about helping you that it’s a huge step in healing and growing. To get you started, I highly recommend following one of my favorite blogs and professors on tumblr @xiaq. They’re seriously amazing and just, an all around good person. 

Sit near the front of the classroom/lecture hall. Not only will this help in paying attention/retaining information during class, but just by being closer to your professor will help slowly ease you into being more comfortable in their presence. You may also feel more comfortable asking questions in class, as you won’t have a wall of students turning around to look back at you as you speak (I know this gave me huge anxiety). 

Have a study-buddy for each class who you can go to office hours with. Experiences are always less intimidating when you’re with another person. Another bonus of a study-buddy is that you can also ask them any questions you have, and thus possibly skip having to interact with the professor all together (which would be a good thing if the professor really is being unhelpful and rude).

Going off of that, surround yourself with people who inspire you, specifically those with are very comfortable around professors. As social creatures, we oftentimes will passively pick up the mannerisms of those around us. I used to be suuuuper timid and shy, but my confidence grew during high school and college after I became friends with more confident people. 

Seek out a TA first (if possible). TAs are students too (they’re just in graduate school), and they may come across as less intimidating. Heck, I could’ve been your TA :) 

Spend more time with professors or TAs, even passively. Regular exposure is the fastest way to having something feel “normal”, after all. Ideas of doing this include: volunteering at a research lab, getting a part-time job on campus somewhere that has regular interaction with professors or TAs, volunteering at university-sponsored events with professors, hanging out at community learning centers where TAs volunteer as free tutors (if your university has them), signing up for smaller-sized classes (more professor interaction), or even doing homework in public study lounges near professor offices (these areas have the bonus of usually being more quiet than libraries). 

Do something even more intimidating than interacting with a professor. Ok here me out: Once you accomplish something that’s even scarier, your newly gained confidence will be like, “Wow, if I could do something that’s so much more intimidating, then talking to my professor isn’t so bad in comparison!” What you do is up to you, but it should be something that’s obviously safe, but challenging enough so that it’s just a little bit scary, and in the end you’ll be more confident for having accomplished it. Like performing in public, or running for a leadership position for a club you’re in, or working a part-time job/volunteering opportunity that gives you the chance to interact with lots of diverse people.

Know you are not being a burden when you ask a professor for help. A) It’s their literal job to teach. You are no more a burden asking a professor for help on their class than you are going to the doctor’s office when you’re sick. As a student who is paying thousands of dollars in tuition (or someone is paying that for you), you are the reason why that professor has a job and a salary. So they need to do their job well, right? B) Teaching is also their passion. There are a variety of career paths they could’ve taken (especially for those with a PhD), and staying in academia is usually by far one of the hardest and most competitive paths, so the fact that they’re still there means that they really do enjoy what they do. 

But know also that professors are human. Sometimes they may be having a bad day that’s unrelated to their students, and may seem a bit more tense and terse. We’ve all been there, right? If a professor or my boss seems a bit snippy that day, unless they explicitly say to me “Julia, I am so mad at you right now”, I chalk it up to something else happening in their lives that has nothing to do with me. My mental wellbeing has greatly improved by adopting this way of thinking: “never assume another person’s intentions and only accept what they explicitly tell you.”

Say more “thank you”s instead of “I’m sorry”. This moves things away from erroneously putting all the blame on you towards being appreciative of the other person’s time and energy. Instead of “I’m so sorry I don’t understand this from class” try saying “Thank you for taking the time to teach this again to me”. See how different the vibes are? And how much more positive you feel by saying the second one? The other person will also feel more positive about the interaction too. If you catch yourself instinctively saying “I’m sorry” (because I know it’s a habit that’s hard to shake), quickly follow up with a “thank you” as well: “I’m sorry I don’t understand this from class but thank you for taking the time to teach this again to me.” 

Lastly, be patient and kind with yourself as this will take time. Overcoming something that gives us anxiety takes exposure, patience, and time; it won’t happen overnight. Take baby steps at first, and it’s ok if you just can’t do something today. That’s alright, you can try tomorrow. 

Also, if anyone who has gone through something similar has any advice or words of support to share, please feel free to reblog or leave a reply! 

Good luck anon, I hope things get easier for you ❤️