#obviously I’m no psychologist so I not sure that all people do this but I feel like from what I can tell especially from the authors I know

[bleue-flora]

In fact, as least for me, the characters aren’t even objects as much as they are ideas, events, circumstances, emotions and feelings. It is for me to take my feelings in life and to express them in a concrete way that makes sense. Trying to deal with how I feel trapped and tortured in/by life despite not being literally trapped or tortured through the actual imprisonment of a character into hell in a box. In this way, it is very helpful as it allows you to explain, further tackle, understand and express how you feel in a way that isn’t as hard to rectify. In other words, taking your feelings to project onto a character in order to allow yourself to feel it and express in a way you otherwise can not. This projection of making feelings more concrete can often be the cause of self-harm - taking the pain you feel emotionally and turning it into something physical to help you grapple with how you feel. So, do whatever to your characters you want, allow yourself to cope, address, confront, express and process. It does not make you a bad person or vile or twisted. It does not mean you have any cruel or violent intentions whatsoever. It can be a creative expression of emotion in the same way a piece of art is. So let it out and allow yourself to write and read and draw guilt free because it’s ok to feel things and it’s certainly a more positive and meaningful way than other means, plus it can bring people together to enjoy each other’s pain and the beautiful mess going on in our minds.

This has been your PSA from my qualified and published therapist.

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

[lunarsilver]

What are their kinks?

18+, minors do not interact

A tarot reading regarding your (sexual) partner - your current one (asking about their permission would be in good taste), or next one, or the most important one, or your future spouse... Whatever you prefer.

Pictures are from Perfect Blue.

REMEMBER

I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Divination will never replace meetings with them.

It’s a general reading, so not everything will resonate.

If you can’t choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them, and that’s okay, too.

Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldn’t be the main reason for making it.

1 ~ 2

3 ~ 4

PILE 1

The Hanged Man R - Knight of Wands - Five of Swords - Back of the Deck: Ten of Cups R

What popped in my mind when looking at the Hanged Man in reverse is that your person may like light bondage and/or pleasant to the touch fabrics. Some sensual undergarments, maybe. Moreover, the character on the card in this position brings a person having an orgasm to my mind, with their head thrown back and the general body position, which makes me think your person may like to look at their partner when they climax. I also feel like they may like to be in control; they don’t enjoy “hanging down”, doing nothing, being passive. When it comes to Knight of Wands, the meaning is pretty clear. They love experimenting. They most likely have high libido and treat sex like an adventure. Next, when I looked at Five of Wands, it came to my mind they can be into people crying, like when someone cries a little from overstimulation, for example (the card shows an eye, and it looks like a teardrop runs from it). They may also be into SM or makeup sex, as the card is often about disagreement, conflicts, winning at all costs, or defeat. For some, they may be even into CNC, though this obviously is a pretty specific kink. Lastly, there is a bottle of vodka on the Ten of Cups card (in this position of the card it is turned upside down, as if something was about to be poured from it), so they can like going at it while drunk. The card may suggest your person finds non-traditional relationships appealing. For some, the card is about how this person is into these different things I mentioned but doesn’t really act on it. As a last note, I think that for quite a lot of you, this is ONS or FWB. There’s also a chance your person can be kinda self-centered when it comes to sex. That won’t be the case for everyone, obviously, but I’m writing it down. Overall, this person looks like someone who likes having fun with sex and experimenting, and most likely is rather dominant.

PILE 2

The Devil R - The Empress - Knave of Wands - Back of the Deck: The Magician

So many Major Arcana, as well as many female/feminine-presenting characters. It makes me think that, first, they fantasize about this wonderful, life-changing sex, and second, they either are very into femininity or like to lean into it themselves. I also feel like I have a lot of queer people here, especially sapphics. And if they aren’t a woman, your person still either presents feminine (and they do so out of their own choice, as a form of expression) or they wish they could. Cross-dressing may be a kink of some here, I think. There is at least one guy here (bonus points if cis and straight) who would love to be called a princess or a babygirl lol. I don’t know, I get pretty light, positive, maybe even a little playful vibes from this pile. Like, there are some himbos here, or people who hope for something good, and there’s something pure about the way they see the world. But okay, let’s stay on topic! This person of yours for sure wants to release limiting beliefs and rules, they want to experiment with sex and have fun, the Devil in reverse says it all. The Empress is all about feeling powerful in one’s femininity, and it’s either about them wanting to feel like a princess or queen or about having a partner like this. Your person is a Knave of Wands, looking with a smile into the future, free-spirited and having so many ideas they aren’t sure where to start. The Magician at the back says they manifest all this and are ready to try the whole new world that opens up to them. For most of you, this person isn’t really experienced, or maybe they were always vanilla until recently. Your person here isn’t as dirty as some other piles, they’re most likely still in the phase of finding out what exactly they like, but oh, they’ll have fun with it.

PILE 3

The Fool - The Lovers R - Queen of Pentacles R - Back of the Deck: Nine of Wands

The Fool in this deck is so flamboyant that I instantly thought “Someone’s into twinks” lol. The Fool in the card winks, looks as if he were sending a kiss to the viewer, and dances confidently, proud of his body. The Fool is the card of new beginnings, of having the power of freedom to experience the world. The Lovers in reverse look to me like people hugging and cuddling while lying on the ground, on grass. Actually, all the cards show some place outside (aside from one card, which has a one-color background), and especially with the way The Lovers look here for me, I think your person may like the idea of outdoor sex. Moreover, because the card is reversed, your person may fantasize about having many suitors and having the ability to choose - or to not choose at all. The card also suggests imbalance, so your person can be into sexual power dynamics where one person is stronger than the other - so some BDSM dynamics, or some other role play. Moving on, we have the reversed Queen of Pentacles. The card presents a woman with long, glorious hair in bold but sensual attire. Actually, with the way The Fool and Queen of Pentacles look in this deck, I believe your person may find it hot when someone has revealing clothing or some nice undergarments. I think it’s sexy for them when not everything is visible or visible well, they find it tempting and alluring. With the reversed Queen of Pentacles, I think they are into independent people who know their value. Nine of Wands suggest they want to do it long. They also want something to be left after the experience: either just fatigue, or bite marks, or bruises, or red traces (think slapping someone’s ass, either with a hand or a toy, like a paddle). And now that I think about it, for quite many of you this is about a (sexual) relationship they would like. The reversed Lovers in the center describes the power-dynamic, and The Fool and the reversed Queen of Pentacles show what kind of lovers we talk about. There’s this Queen of Pentacles who has seen some shit, and despite that, or maybe especially because of that, they find something very alluring about the Fool being an enthusiastic, confident novice. The character of Queen of Pentacles actually looks older than The Fool. Your person may like age-gaps, or like to call someone/be called “mommy” (other variants of the name, based on the gender of people involved, are also possible, of course, “mommy” simply is the strongest here). Think about which description you fit more (either in life or just in bed) - The Fool or the reversed Queen of Pentacles. Your person is the other one.

PILE 4

The World - Nine of Swords - Four of Cups - Back of the Deck: King of Wands

The World is pretty straightforward here - they fantasize about this perfect sex, which is an almost spiritual experience; one that brings the feeling of completion, of being happy. For some reason I also think about this kind of sex where you extend the experience, having long, calm pleasure (like a person with vulva sitting on the dick of another person and just squeezing and relaxing their muscles, maybe sometimes moving a few times, just to keep it hard - that’s just an example, of course). Tantric sex. Next, with these Nine of Swords, I think your person likes the idea of someone dreaming about them or not being able to sleep because they think about them (maybe because they’re touching while thinking about your person), they find it hot. Your person may really love the idea of someone finding them so attractive, they get anxious or shy about it. The image also shows handcuffs, so maybe your person is into that. This card in the deck I used for the reading looks happier and more peaceful than its most traditional imagery, and when I look at it, I’m thinking about some romantic gestures like giving flowers. Color-wise, this card and The World both are pink and purple, and have this peaceful vibe about them. It kinda looks like the person portrayed in Nine of Swords dreams about this fantastic sex life, but they’re just lying alone in their bed. On the back we have King of Wands, which represents a passionate lover, and a good one at that. Not just good. Exceptional. For some of you, this is who your person aspires to be, but I think that for more of you, your person fantasizes about someone like this. Your person gives me the vibe of someone who dreams big; they’re into these romantic, maybe a little obsessive scenarios. Of course, it is still just a scenario they like to think about, it doesn’t mean they want to actually be with someone obsessive. Overall, I think that for most of you, this person is more on the submissive side, and they like all these classic scenarios from romance/romantasy/smut books or fics. Another thing for most of you which I see, is that your person probably doesn't have a lot of experience, but they definitely think about sex and romance, and hope for a chance to experience them.

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

TOM GLYNN-CARNEY INTERVIEWED FOR DEADLINE MAGAZINE.

IS THAT YOU LYING IN BED IN EPISODE 5, GETTING THE BURNT VALYRIAN STEEL PEELED OFF OF YOUR BODY?

"It certainly is me."

I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD. SO YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET?

"I say a word … unless dead people can speak."

SO YOU ARE SURE AS YOU'RE SITTING HERE, YOU ARE NOT DEAD.

"I’m not dead yet."

LET'S BACK UP TO THE DAY WHEN YOU SHOT THAT EPIC DRAGON FIGHT.

"Well, that day was, in fact, probably about three weeks work, trying to get all these certain angles and these set pieces together."

"It takes a while to coordinate something like that."

"And it was great fun."

"It was a little different."

"The stuff I had to do previously with the big dialogue, the heavy council scenes and the moments in the pub … that felt more theatrical."

"And by theatrical, I don’t mean hammy and stuff, I mean being in theater and doing a play."

"But this [dragon fight] felt very filmic, being strapped into this crane and having this big camera on a long hydraulic arm thrown in your face."

"There were lots of green screens and gray screens and tennis balls on sticks and wind machines."

"It was great."

"It was a big learning curve for me as well, because I’ve never done anything quite as elaborate as that before in terms of CGI work."

DO YOU THINK CRISTON SAW WHAT AEMOND DID TO AEGON'S DRAGON IN THAT FIGHT? THAG AEMOND IS TO BLAME?

"Criston definitely sees Aegon on the ground and Aemond near him with his sword drawn."

"So he can make his own mind up about Aemond’s intentions, which is still unclear even to me."

"I’m not sure the story was there."

"There could be various outcomes."

WHAT HAS IT BEEN LIKE TO PLAY SOMEBODY WHO'S SO BLOODY UNLIKABLE?

"So you’re not team Aegon, then?"

"Who wants to be liked?"

"Where’s the fun in that?"

"I think it’s great playing someone like Aegon because he’s so unpredictable."

"He’s so volatile."

"He’s not just someone who people don’t like."

"He’s a tragic case."

"He’s a complete and utter tragedy of a person, and I feel deeply, deeply sorry for him."

"And I guess that’s kind of why I’ve wanted to investigate his vulnerabilities, his fragilities and his boyishness, all the things that he lacks in his life that kind of inform his decisions, that have given him a certain reputation."

"There’s a lot to unpack in him."

"He’s way more layered and complex than just an unlikable character."

IT'S BEEN AN INTERESTING JOURNEY WATCHING AEGON AND AEMOND BECAUSE THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY BAD KIDS, WHICH DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE THEIR DAD WAS AN AWFUL GUY. SO WHERE DOES THAT BADNESS COME FROM?

"I dunno."

"I mean, they’ve got Targaryen blood running through them, so there’s going to be an element of madness somewhere."

"I think if they had a different upbringing and a different experience of childhood, things may have been different."

"If they had the treatment that Rhaenyra got, for example, their lives could be different."

"She was very much the golden child."

"She came first."

"She was the one whose picture was on the fridge."

"So yeah, I think that in many ways they’re a product of their history and their upbringing."

"But then again, they’re spoiled as well."

"They’ve never had to work for anything and that can have its effects."

"That’s probably a question for a psychologist, not for me."

WHY DOES HE DISLIKE HIS BROTHER SO MUCH?

"I don’t think he does."

BUT HE WAS SUCH A SHIT TO HIM IN THAT BROTHEL SCENE.

"That’s brothers."

"Aegon was pissed off that for weeks that Aemond has been in the small council and he’d been conniving and plotting with Criston behind his back."

"That kind of clique-ness and keeping Aegon out of the situation for Aemond’s own self-gain, knowing that Aegon would take over the position of King should he get the opportunity, Aegon needed to bring him down a peg."

"I don’t think it come from a place of disliking him."

It comes from a place of being like, ‘you are my little brother, know your place.’

"It’s dismissiveness and also, I’m from Manchester."

"From where I’m from, there are so many sibling relationships that are completely flawed and fractured."

"It’s very normal for me."

"I’m lucky I have a great relationship with my sibling, but it’s very normal and not out of the ordinary at all for you to see two siblings who actively want to hurt each other."

"It doesn’t come from hatred."

"That’s just the way people behave."

[horaitos]

Can you talk more about OCD Light Yagami? Not my headcanon,but the idea is intriguing and cool.

I would absolutely love to share the brainworms, actually. (Disclaimer I am not a psychologist etc, this is mostly based on my own experiences.)

The most painfully relatable part of Light in this regard, imo, is how absolutely desperate he is. There’s a need to be good that’s under all of his motivation, and we see through the story how he rationalizes that needing to be good and needing to be right under all of that talk of justice and helping the people. (I could probably make a whole other argument here about Light having high masking autism and the black and white thinking that comes with that feeding into his ocd, but that’s for another post.)

That need to be right, that need for balance, is something that has always been a key part of my experience. With that comes the compulsions - and Light’s seem to pretty clearly be rumination. Yeah, we make fun of his dramatic speeches about making a better world, but they also can slot neatly into the winding rationalizations that I myself have made to keep that sense of balance in myself. I’d compare moral ocd to standing on a sheet of thin ice with cold, plunging water right below you feet. You make your ruminations, your compulsions, to scrabble against the ice and keep yourself on your own two feet without cracking the ice and falling into the current below.

Another one of my compulsions back when i was really struggling was confessions, and while you could argue he steers away from that because it would be acknowledging how what he did was awful, he does fall into that at times. His speech to Matsuda about Kira. He’s acknowledging how what Kira does is evil, and at the same time he’s somewhat searching for absolving. Obviously, this is hindered by the fact that he’s hiding the fact that he actually is Kira, but the pattern is the same. He’s voicing his fears and his rationalizations - because in his mind, his ruminations, they just swirl and swirl without any sort of balance. I’m wondering if Ryuk was a sort of lifeline in that way, though obviously he wouldn’t absolve Light of his guilt in any way. Similarly, I wonder if Light ever gave his confessions and fears to L during the Yotsuba arc - if L somehow became the subject of his absolution. In my experience, they’re generally given to people you trust, but Light didn’t really have anyone he trusted during the Yorsuba arc. L was, unfortunately, the closest thing he had to a lifeline. Much to think about.

Anyway, most of this usually stems from high expectations of oneself and perfectionism combined with a colossal amount of insecurity (the water beneath the ice) (as well as a big imagination - to fit all of those ruminations in!). Sure, Light isn’t really shown to have insecurities at the beginning, but people raised to be perfect generally do - especially considering the fact that Light was hiding so much of himself. Who did he have to talk to? To go through his fears with in a healthy matter? They just sat, and sat, and swirled around like muck.

Sure, most ocd spirals don’t come from murdering two people. But that sure as hell could trigger it.

[popcornforone]

Laters Doll, Keep Smiling

An Agent Whiskey / Jack Daniels Fic

Day 16 of Pedrotober

Masterlist

It’s the middle day yes it is. I’m amazed I’ve writen this much. Makes up for the lack of smut this year I guess. & today with Jack well let’s just say he’s up for a challenge.

Synopsis:- Your the receptionist for The Statesman so that means you see everyone come & go, including Agents.

Word count:-1000

Warnings over & above:- fingering, lack of consent, a spy being a spy, swearing, really bad pick up lines, imagination

Well that’s for reading up to half way peoples. Keep going we can do this. All thanks to @alyssamariag & @norththelemon prompts.

As receptionist of the Statesman Brewery, you meet all sorts of people. Be in investors in the “company”, people coming in for guided tours or political people you should never mention. As far as your family know you sit on reception as the friendly face of the company letting people in & out & looking at calendars. Yes you do do that, but there are not many receptionist who have the presidents number on a hotline, or have a random note in the diary where it says anniversary of the shoot out in Winslow Arizona. That’s a personal highlight of yours, you were listening in to that 7 weeks into the job while trying to remain calm, as a couple of agents saved 5000 people from a terrorist attack, & you just had to sit there going howdy welcome to the statesman, to everyone else, despite your anxiety being through the food that if this mission failed the whole county could be at war within days. Obviously your agents came through & no one has a clue they saved millions of lives.

The highlight of any day though is when the agents come past. Always looking pristine in their suits. All of them come & pose & talk to you like you are their wife as you swap glasses over to get a new retinal scan of them to confirm their identification, it’s hard to do your job if you wear them all the time, so much information it picks up on that it try’s to analyse. Some agents it’s been awkward when they have been undercover & look different or you’ve not seen them for months. There is a code they can say to help you remember.

“Look at you sugar pie, all dolled up for a presidential dinner”

Always makes you smile, no matter which agent it is.

But there is one. A certain agent who you like to get to look in your eyes.

Jack.

He’s usually in the New York office, much more higher up than most of the guys you see on the daily. Most meetings can be remote but he has to come here for his medical & psychologist once a month, due to a previous head injury. He’s got this long droll in his voice, his little wink makes you blush. His jeans being that tight always make you think of things you wish he would do to you. He also always as he leaves says “laters doll, keep smiling” which makes you smile even more. He’s very much your perfect man look wise. He might be putting on an act as an agent but you don’t care, it always makes your day.

Today is a slow work day, not many guided tours, no corporate meetings & most of the agents are on long missions this week. You’re actually doing your job, putting people on hold, sorting out delivery’s & diaries. You’re actually being a receptionist for a change.

Swosh!

The doors about 8ft away open & in he walks. All swagger. All about those hip. That whip he has just causally bouncing against his arse. The buckle on his belt is large, but you can clearly see he’s dressing to the left today. He’s an agent of many talents. The cowboy hat is his smartest, the jacket with the white edging perfect, much like his magnifent moustache. It only takes him 6 seconds to stride towards you but you look him up just down taking in the details of his buttons & you sigh as he puts one of those large hands on the desk.

“Darling, got something for me” he says lowering his glasses & winking. The hand on the desk now makes it way to your chin to make sure you keep eye contact as the other he rests on his hip.

“I… erm I…l”

“Ooooh” he tuts. “I mean you’ve got something… &…” he pauses just removes your glasses. “It’s doing it for me” Jack leaps over the desk & spins you around in your chair so your back is to the door. You gasp for only half a second before his lips claim yours. The moustache tickles but you don’t care. You’ve always fantasied about an agent wanting you, kind of goes with the job. But never in your wildest dreams did you think it would happen, let alone with Agent Whiskey. The way he’s hungry for it, like he’s not kissed a girl in months.

“Jack….”

“Shhh baby doll” he puts his hand over your mouth. “Don’t want that pretty little mouth getting us caught do we” you shake your head your eyes wide & dilated in panic & amazement. He drops to his knees removing his hand from your mouth & spreads your legs.

“Hmmm nice panties, pink & pretty but” he pushes them to the side & looks at your glistening entrance. “…that’s all I been thinking about” he licks his lips. He doesn’t wait for consent. He shoves two of his large fingers into your mouth & you suck. He quickly withdraws then, droll spilling out, his fingers sodden & he slots the straight away inside you. You clamp instantly.

“Fuck Jack” you moan & whimper,his hand goes back over your mouth. You grip the arms of your swivel chair.

“Come again”

“Mmmmm” you moan

“COME AGAIN”

You leap up & see Agent Whiskey on the other side of the desk. You’d day dreamed all of that in the 10 seconds it took him to walk to you.

“Erm sorry Mr Daniels, I was having a funny 5 minutes, day dreaming, it’s been quiet today here” you blush & fluster & quickly put your retainer glasses on so he can get his access.

“No need to apologise darling, we all have needs & if I’m honest” he leans in & whispers in your ear. “If I’m the one you think about when you have a quiet moment, I’m very flattered to be even considered by a beautiful doll like you.” You turn lobster red as your glasses recognise him & makes key card appear for access & he tips the top of his hat to you.

“Laters Doll, Keep Smiling”

[theswiftheartsystem]

We got posted on r/fdc let’s discuss.

So we knew this was going to happen, and rather then being sad about this, we’d like to point out flaws in the arguments. Obviously warning for fake claiming.

also warnings for: talks about trauma and abuse, splitting, mental health episodes, psyche wards, ableism, making a joke out of exorcisms.

First off, “disorder salad” on that introduction post we only talked about things we were medically recognized as having or diagnosed with. Also the “it’s always the anime ones” it’s a picrew? A lot of Picrews are in a anime style, and if you go to Louise’s actual alter intro she uses not just picrews.

This one is just making fun of us. I don’t think we have ever fully posted why we are so connected to the character, but I’ll explain now. So when we were little we went through a lot of abuse and trauma. We had a lot of DVDs and a couple were CareBears. And we felt safe when we watched silly little characters like that. It brought us relief. We aren’t sure why we are so attached to Swift Heart specifically, but we have a little who is obsessed with the color blue and rabbits that formed around that time. We even own the original 80s plush which we found thrifting and means so much to us, plus a few other things of the character. We named our system this, not only because it represents our trauma, but also it represents safety, a light in the dark.

When did we self diagnose???? Also in that post we state that we intend to talk about the bad sides. We don’t think this is fun. Yes we portray ourselves a certain way, but we actually have constant flashbacks, panic attacks, and BPD episodes. It’s sometimes a daily thing. For around 2-3 weeks we would split at least once a day. We don’t think thats fun. But also sometimes you can enjoy life and enjoy being plural. When you live like this you learn to enjoy what you have and what you are living with. If we didn’t we wouldn’t survive. How parasocial do you have to be to think A TUMBLR ACCOUNT shows how we are 24/7.

Going back to the Self Diagnosis thing, We were being treated for DID before anyone put a label on it. We were talked to about “how when someone has many parts of them, sometimes fusion can help them feel more whole.” And asked when dissociating and acting strange who we were regularly asked who we where. When we we’re 15, we had gone to the Psyche ward for the 2nd time, and they couldn’t diagnose us, because of our age at the time, but they strongly suggested we get tested for it when we were old enough. And to get them to recommend anything, they have to talk to all the therapists, doctors, and psychologists, especially the ones who work with you. It’s been years since then, and guess what? We still have DID!

Finally the last claim out of the first comment, the Sub-System thing, that wasn’t in the original post, and I’m unaware who edited it in, but the reason we are confused if they are a subsystem, is because they are plural as it’s where dormant alters are stored. They speak as one and it’s quite strange. Not sure how to explain it.

Okay, comment 2:

The difference between DID and OSDD-1 in the DSM-5 is it’s nearly DID but isn’t quite. (Bad explanation, but these people need simple explanations) often times, it’s the alters are not distinct enough from the host, or a lack of blackout amnesia. This isn’t always the case but that’s what they were referring to. Also have you read the DSM-5’s entry on DID and OSDD-1?.. We have, many times actually. Guess what? it’s purposefully vague FOR A REASON. Because disorders are complex and wouldn’t be able to fit everyone if it was to specific.

This is just ableism. We have been told this by people and our life (luckily nothing was done), and we have heard stories about systems going through this. This stuff is incredibly traumatizing to the people who go through it. This kind of rhetoric being treated as a joke is disgusting.

We aren’t online everyday (also you, the person who commented this, have posted 10 times in the last 11 hours)

The stuff we are “faking” are often co-morbid with DID?!?!

I’m pretty sure this comment is trying to be like “they are doing it for attention to deal with their trauma that’s so sad 🥺🥺🥺”

If that’s the case, you are adding onto the problem

if you believe us and feel bad for us, thanks, but posting it on that subreddit just boost the post which can lead to harassment.

That’s literally the words that was told to us. By our former therapist. We believe it’s C-PTSD, but we put that instead of that because some reason we struggle to believe we have PTSD more then we do DID at this point.

Anyway, yeah, we’d thought we debunk/explain why the argument they have is stupid, they have a platform, but so do we.

[l-starlight-l]

The love of a Hero

Smoke Signals

A/N: listen listen I know it’s been a longggg time since I post but I’ve been busy man. This is the first story in my new mini series!! I’m so excited even tho I’m not so sure how good it’s going to be. I promise I’ll post more! Love ya<3

Description: You’re a new physiologist in the city and you share a smoke break with a mysterious masked man

Warning: smoking, cursing, mental hospital

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

——————————————————————————

:reference:

——————————————————————————

You are one of the most successful psychologists in the United States. You have helped heal people all over the world. You mainly focus on the people who are more disturbed in the mind. You have been itching to settle down so when you got an invite to work at the renounced Gotham asylum you were over joyed. It was quite obvious they needed more hands since they have been having issues keeping inmates actually in their cells. You knew that this might be a stressful job but you’ve been through worse. Plus you had friends in the city who you could rely on.

On your first day you were immediately thrown into action, seeing the very ill people that filled the hospital. You obviously were not gonna make it through all the new patients on your list but you tried your best. You made introductions with many well know names such as; Pamela Isley, Harvey Dent, Oswald cobble-pot and a few others. One name caught you by surprise, Harleen Quinzel, you had met of her before. You shadowed her when you first got into the business. She was kind to you when others weren’t and seeing her like this now was going to be hard. You put her visit to the end of the day to take some time to prepare.

You had just got out of a session with “the scarecrow” and it had shaken you up. You decide that it was time for a break and some fresh air. You made your way to find a quiet spot to rest. When you pushed open the doors to the back of the building there was no one to be seen. This made you feel alittle better. Smoking was a bad habit that you couldn’t shake but had cut down on. You only feel the urge when you get stress which seems to be happening more and more often. You pat your pockets but they’re empty. A soft panic set in, not that forgetting your pack is life or death but is still a disappointment.

“Are you fucking kidding me” you mutter under your breath. You lean against a wall and close your eyes trying to relax a little before getting back to work. You hear heavy footsteps land right infront of you. The suddenness of the sound surprises you and you jump. When you look up to see who had dropped down you see a very tall and big man. He has dark hair with an unusual white streak in the front and gray-blue eyes that are covered by a thin black mask. You just kinda look at him confused on why he’s there and he just looks at you as if you’re the one who came out of nowhere.

“Um hi, can I help you” you say with a confused attitude.

He looks a bit taken back but opens his mouth to reply “what are you doing here”

“I should be asking you the same question, you’re the big masked man who just came up out of no where” you say now annoyed

“Oh uh sorry, I guess. Usually there’s no one over here” he replies a little embarrassed scratching the back of his head.

“Well I wouldn’t know, it’s my first day” you feel weirdly okay with just giving this stranger unneeded information.

“Oh well, wanna smoke” he says offering me a cigarette, I happily take it. Which in reality is a dumb idea.

“Thank you” you mutter unsure of what to do.

“I haven’t got a light” he pats his pockets. You reach into your lab coat and pull out a lighter. You put your cigarette into your mouth and he does the same. You lean up on your toes to meet the tips together and light them. When you step away and look at the tall man he looks very flustered and you realize that may have been a weird thing to do, getting so close to him without even knowing his name. “So you’re a doctor here” he says breaking the awkwardness.

“Yeah I am, and you’re one of Batman’s boys?” you question unsure since you’re use to super hero’s with a bit more red and blue.

He looks a little surprised and you start to worry you said something wrong. “I guess you could call me that” he says with a kind laugh. You smile at his laugh it makes you feel warm. “You don’t seem like you’re from Gotham” he states like a question.

“Oh um no I’m not, I just moved here last week” you say not wanting to give your whole life story. His phone rings and he reluctantly steps away wanting to finish your conversation. He looks annoyed at whoever’s on the other end and rolls his eyes before hanging up. He puts out his smoke and looks at you.

“see you around, doc” he smiles and then disappears. His smile stays with you, it was warm and genuine. You had no idea who he is but you want to see him again, he made you feel so relaxed. You sigh and put out your cigarette. You have to go finish your shift, you emotionally prepare yourself for your next consult, which you’ve been dreading all day, and walk back into the building.

——————————————————————————

[nerves-nebula]

So my friend recently told me a story and it led to a very interesting moment.

She told me a (presumably true?) story about a psychologist or something who was studying psychopathy in people and noticed that he had the similar traits or brain scans or something and he asked his loved ones if they'd noticed any kind of psychopathic traits. And they said that yeah, he seemed generally kind of distant and cold. So he tried to perform the motions of Caring More in the ways that they consider more normal i guess.

And he came up to them and was like “I'm trying to make you feel more loved but you can probably tell I’m just going through the motions. It probably doesn’t feel genuine I should just stop.”

and they said that NO actually it was really nice, and made them feel better that he was trying and doing those little things and affirmations to show he cared even if they didn't come naturally to him.

my friends takeaway from this was that it was very sweet. it was a nice story about a guy learning to communicate his affection to people around him. and like. here's the thing. i get that, I do, it's sweet he's making an effort for them. I'm not trying to disparage the idea of making efforts for the people you love and doing things that don't come naturally to you for the sake of making them feel better. that's sweet, i get it.

but my immediate reaction was like. GOD. how depressing. his loved ones didn't care about how he showed affection, like, at all. they felt he was cold, and once they realized he was different, instead of trying to understand him and the fact that he wasn't being intentionally "cold" or whatever to them, they encourage him to go through the motions of something that feels awkward and insincere.

like they didn't teach themselves to learn that when he does a certain thing he means it a certain way, they just wanted him to go through the motions with them. and it's sweet that he did, but what about them? what are they doing to understand him?

and obviously im reading a lot into this story, and i'm putting a lot of myself into my interpretation. i'm sure he was fine with it, or else he wouldn't do it. I don't know the specifics because this is just a story i was told, so there's probably all kinds of stuff i'm not considering.

but to me it's such a depressing story. because all I've ever wanted was to not have to put up a front around the people i care about the most. i want to be able to be myself and not have to go through any of the socially accepted motions, or put up the kinds of walls that exhaust me when im interacting with people who don't know me well.

the idea that people could know me for years and never try to understand the way i show affection? the idea that they think it would be BETTER for me to go through the insincere motions of mimicking their signs of affection, instead of being genuine with how i love them?

like, what do you people even want. do you want friends? do you even want to be close to someone?? because it just sounds like you want someone to confide in, who will be fake with you as long as it comforts you. it sounds so miserable.

it sounds like being told that your love isn't enough, it's weird and wrong and not worth it. it isn't what anyone who isn't like you would want, and it isn't acceptable to believe that THEY should make an effort for YOU, even if YOU make the effort to understand THEM more.

i have made the effort. i've trained myself into saying more "nice" or "polite" things. i'm still working on my habitual cruelty, which i do without even thinking. i'm not very good at it yet but it's an ongoing process and i'm working on being more considerate. and it's not enough. it's not enough to be better, because my love and affection is still wrong and bad. because I show my dedication through actions, and I don't say enough of the meaningless phrases that are supposed to comfort you. and i'm so tired and bitter about it.

cuz even my closest friend expects me to be fake. forever. or until i've faked it enough that it's second nature to me.

i wonder if I'll be "fixed" enough for everyone by then.

[rimofwell]

I’ve experienced this myself and have observed it in friends too (though obviously I can’t know for sure). And it makes me want to SCREAM < why do you say that? Can you elaborate?

I could honestly say so much about this because I’ve experienced these situations myself and seen hints of similar dynamics between friends and their therapists. I’ll try to speak to my own experience though because obviously I can’t say with certainty what’s going on for someone else.  

But basically, just everything that was said in the post. The person I quoted is a really renowned psychologist and psychoanalyst and the way he talks about therapy and its purpose has been so clarifying and helpful to me. I’ve had many therapeutic relationships in the past go very wrong and because of that, it’s become a huge interest of mine just like… understanding the countertransference/transference dynamics that get played out in the therapeutic relationship as a result of the patient’s and therapist’s own schemas/orientations/pathologies. 

I think it’s tricky because there’s so much nuance and it’s hard to speak about things without overgeneralizing, but basically the therapy relationship, while concrete in some respects, is also symbolic. I don’t know how to say this in quite the right way, but a therapeutic relationship is obviously “real” in that it’s between two humans who care about each other and the compassion is real and all of that. But at the same time, it’s largely symbolic, in that the patient projects onto the therapist their own relational schemas and past trauma and difficulties (transference), and then this transference is actually a vehicle for psychotherapy to occur. So it’s not the same as a friendship or a romantic partnership or a mentorship, because the transference is actually the point – like it’s not a bad thing, it’s actually what allows therapy to happen because it tells the therapist about patterns in the patient’s life and the job of the therapist is to analyze that transference, observe their own countertransference reaction (how they respond as a result of what the patient has ‘projected’ onto them), and then use that entire thing as a vehicle for the patient to understand themselves more clearly and the dynamics they recreate in the world.

I think so often clients/patients start to treat the relationship like it’s purely concrete and get really stuck in the relationship itself rather than bringing these themes into their actual life and their real mutual relationships. And I can say this from experience because I’ve had therapeutic relationships where there was so much care and support and empathy, and I felt soooo connected to the provider and really loved the therapist and knew she loved me, and blah blah. And it was all very real, but at the end of the day her love wasn’t curative… it was never going to be because the role of a therapist is not just that. There were so many points when I was like, “Oh I feel so connected to this therapist and she cares so much” but I was still doing really really poorly. So something about the dynamic wasn’t working. Because while our relationship itself was rich and meaningful, nothing in my LIFE was changing. (So basically the therapist and I got stuck in the concreteness of the relationship, rather than expanding and zooming out and interfacing with the symbolism and what was getting recreated and then using that to transform my life and change the way I interacted in the world.)

Basically what I’m saying is all that love and care and empathy wasn’t enough. Like… that alone is not therapy. You can get love and care and empathy from so many people. And I myself have (unconsciously) used therapy almost as a substitute for getting that love/care elsewhere, and I know others do the same. It’s kind of inevitable because on the surface, you have what seems to be this perfect one-sided relationship since the focus is supposed to be on the patient, and giving the patient the care that they need (I mean care as in treatment). And that’s how it should be, because the therapist shouldn’t be using the patient to gratify their own desires, obviously (even though some do without realizing it). Anyway, that is the point and that in and of itself (the one-sidedness) IS the therapeutic relationship and is exactly why it is symbolic and not concrete because the goal of psychotherapy isn’t mutuality. And of course the therapist has feelings because they are a person, so those get explored but only to the extent that they impact the patient’s care and ONLY if it’s beneficial to that care. And everything else, is what the therapist explores in their own therapy (hopefully). 

And it’s tough to be stuck in this trap of having murky boundaries and the relationship going from purely concrete to symbolic… then to both etc. It’s also difficult to discuss without making it sound like you’re minimizing the care present (because it is real for both parties!!) 

And it’s just tough to see people who have been in therapy for fucking ever with a therapist they love so much and who loves them and blah blah but I’m like wait….. You’re literally still doing so badly, so it’s probably time to evaluate what is going on….. Like therapy is not supposed to last FOREVER. And if you’ve seen the same therapist for SO long and made really minimal progress something does need to be looked at.

It’s also tricky because trauma is hard and some conditions take a long time to treat and progress is definitely slow and difficult and you need to build trust etc., so of course it won’t be quick. Like all of that is absolutely true, BUT at some point, I do think you need to take a look at the relationship and be like, “Okay what is the PURPOSE of our work together.”

I think it’s really easy for attachment to happen on both ends (which isn’t bad, obviously it’s important and normal and human and good for the therapy!). But I think the client AND the therapist can get into these patterns where they forget that… there is a purpose to the work… like a goal they are both orienting toward that isn’t just… to make someone feel loved and good. Like it truly is for change to happen.

I think it’s hard when you get comfortable with someone to have that relationship become like a default in your mind. Like the idea of staying with the same therapist for a super long time and they see you grow up and all of that is appealing and safe. And I’m not judging that, like people can do whatever they want. And maybe that can work for some people, but if I’m being entirely honest, I’ve never seen it work. When the therapeutic relationship becomes this drawn out extended thing where for years and years the therapist stays the patient’s only source of support and there are no shifts toward someone in the patient’s real life taking that place, progress is limited. I mean like… of course it is because healthy relationships are fulfilling on both ends — to give and receive love and support, the mutuality of it is what makes it fulfilling and by definition you can’t have that to the fullest extent within the boundaries of a therapy relationship (because of the fact that it’s supposed to be one sided, focused on enhancing the wellbeing of one party). And if it starts to shift to that (become a truly mutual thing) then it is again, by definition, no longer therapy.

And I absolutely don’t ~blame~ the client/patient, because at the end of the day it’s 100% the therapist’s responsibility to maintain the frame of the treatment and keep both parties on track and manage their own countertransference reactions as well. And I’m also not necessarily ~blaming~ the therapist. Like it’s natural to love your patients (I honestly still don’t like when therapists use that word and after having therapists cross boundaries with me, if my current one was like, “I love you” I’d be super disturbed)… but anyway, natural to really care about your patients and nothing wrong with that, but you have to also ask yourself whether you’re really serving your client. And if they’re still so stuck even if you love them… you do have to ask what’s in the best interest of the client

And I think a lot of times therapists don’t want to admit that it obviously feels good to be admired and loved by your patient. And I think they can get comfortable in that role (kind of like the ~shadow~ part of why people get into this work) and if you’re not keeping it in check, I think things really go south. 

Anyway, I could talk forever about this because I’ve read literally so many books on this topic and also had so much personal experience with it. But I guess I’ll end with the fact that with any other medical professional, if you were not getting better, you would find another provider. You wouldn’t stay with the same provider if after years you were not seeing improvement. And again, I absolutely understand that trauma is tough to deal with and that building trust takes time, and it’s obviously slower than going and getting a quick surgery, but even with all of that, there should be movement and if there’s not, then something should change. 

And therapy is unique because you have both people’s psychologies intertwining in this little dance and what is symbolic becomes super concrete and then neither party wants to leave or admit that it’s not serving its purpose and that although they feel good and nice and connected that is at the core not what therapy is for (at least it can’t *only* be that)

I edited this because it was wordy and confusing and had a lot of typos, so if you had to struggle through the first iteration, I apologize lol

[doll-elvis]

Hello I’m new to reading about Elvis and I’m reading Baby Let’s Play House for the first time and I was wondering if you could talk more about his relationships with some underage girls. I know you said nothing sexual went on with Arlen Cogan but there are several other girls in the book who were fourteen when they got with Elvis like Sandy Ferra who he met after Priscilla. I guess I just want to know why he was so drawn to that age when he could date women his own age? Wasn’t he worried about being caught?

hello and thank you for the ask!! as for baby let’s play house there are some great stories in there but please take into account that Alanna Nash has an agenda, so much so that she uses several people who have fabricated their stories, such as Byron Raphael who never actually worked for Elvis

as for your question “why was he so drawn to that age”; this is an extremely heavy topic and something that has no right answer because we simply don’t know for sure outside of speculation

so I just wanna say a quick disclaimer that i’ve said before: I obviously didn’t know Elvis, only Elvis know why he did the things he did, and all we can do speculate based on the sources we have

firstly I want to just show all the girls that have reportedly had a relationship with Elvis while they were 14 (all of which, which the exception of Priscilla, have said that nothing sexual occurred besides general affection and kissing)

I think it’s important to note these girls are the outliers and Elvis normally sought out women who fell into an appropriate age range

Now there has been tons of speculation as to why this age seems to be reoccurring when looking at girls who have been linked to Elvis but in my opinion the most plausible reason is what was said by Joe Esposito

In his book “Good Rockin Tonight”, Esposito says :

“Elvis demanded absolute control in his relationships. That’s why he preferred young, unworldly women. Maybe he was retaliating unconsciously for the rejections he had suffered from girls before he became a star”

now when I first read this I was shook because I think it explains a lot:

In Elaine Dundy’s “Elvis and Gladys” book she tells a story about how when Elvis was younger in school, that other children would write “Elvis likes (name of a girl)” as a way to embarrass the girl because the worst possible thing was to be liked by Elvis as he wasn’t popular and a loner throughout most of his school years. Therefore he didn’t have many, if any, relationships during his formative years and was ultimately rejected by most girls

Reeca Smith, who was briefly involved with Elvis in 1974, recently said in the Amazon prime documentary that when she asked Elvis why he wanted to be with her he said that she reminded him of his childhood, which based on the quote from Joe, I interpreted that as she reminded him of the kind of girl he never got to be with and by being with her he would be able to revert back to a simpler time before fame when girls didn’t expect so much out of him and when girls didn’t see him as a “star”

I think this also shows why Elvis would never pursue a s*xual relationship with these girls because he wanted to be free from the pressures of s*x and was more interested in a relationship where he could recieve the affection, friendship and companionship that he craved, with again, no pressure of having to “perform” so to speak

The quote by Joe can also explain why Elvis felt the need to have entourage and be surrounded by so many people and again it ties into Elvis not have any friends in his formative years; it was like he was making up for what he never had

So he didn’t have many friends in school and mostly kept to himself, and he missed out on many years of dating because of it, and so when he became famous I believe he was finally in a position to get what he never had and he took advantage of it

I’m definitely no psychologist so I hope this made sense 😭and I would really love to know what you guys think and if you have any thoughts on why he pursed relationships like those

[fragileizy]

my parents tensed up last night when i said i wanted to go back upstairs alone.

friday night in the big city and i was ready to turn in at 7pm. maybe it’s the depression, or maybe the heartache, or maybe both. maybe the cold. it’s freezing and i don’t do well when i have to wear layers. i want to peel off my skin whenever i have to wear more than two shirts.

i wanted to go back upstairs. back upstairs and watch more cartoons so i could turn off my brain, but my parents wanted to stay in the lounge— i’d been able to get a few large bitefuls of dinner into me before hand— to listen to the live music in the reception desk + bar area where surprisingly a lot of people were congregated.

i wondered if i should get a drink myself. i don’t do alcohol, never have, always afraid to. i realized i’d left my wallet back upstairs with my phone, one that i’m on the tip-edge of powering off and chucking into a trashcan, so i don’t have to wonder and wish to get a text message.

dear god, i am grateful to get text messages at all. it means he’s thinking of me. even if it’s just to tell me that he’s seeing his new girlfriend today.

“no, not right now, i don’t want to go up. it’s different here than back at home,” my mom said. “we don’t have life back at home. live music? that’s unheard of.”

we live on farm land. suburbia clashing with farmland, actually. white-picket fences. cookie-cutter houses. common to find goats and pigs passing behind it. horses are expected in our town.

“you’re right,” i told her. yelled out, actually, because the music was loud and it wasnt very good and hurt my ears. artistic flair while singing stand by me isn’t the absolute best idea. my parents are starting to get deaf in their 60s, and though i tease them a lot for it, there’s always a ping of fear.

my parents are aging.

i’m an only child.

i’ve lost my friends, and the few that were solely mine are on the computer and not tangible. i’ve lost the man that i thought i was going to be with forever— he has six little brothers and one little sister, with one tired father trying to keep it all together, did you know that? he’ll never be alone. he’s got family.

my family is sick. i’m worried about them. dad coughs a lot, mom went to the hospital for heart problems, and i was told that the man that i loved would rather be with someone else than with me. the lines under his eyes are deep. the tone of finality is painful. i wonder every day if i should’ve been better. well, i should’ve been. that’s not much of a question.

it’s a lot easier to be with her than it is to be with you, izy.

i started counting up to ten in my head. i don’t know where this habit started, but it’s helped. beat out the thoughts by yelling out numbers. over and over and over. if i stop myself from thinking, i won’t cry.

“i want to go back upstairs,” i tried, after my seventh or eighth count. taking in my dad’s hesitation to swallow around his juice. “uhm. i don’t feel so good.”

“are you sure?”

i know my parents. i know that they asked my therapist to make sure i wasn’t… critical. what a bad way to talk about it. i’ve never been suicidal— ironically, i’ve always been the type of person to think it’s rather useless. i want to live. i like living. dying always sounds so painful. i like listening to music. and drawing. and writing. even if it’s hard and difficult when i’m like this.

i know that my therapist asking me if i’m safe meant that my parents asked her to make sure. and what i told her was true: i’ve never been suicidal. it’s the only thing “left” to truly say i have depression. it’s the only box left unchecked.

just because you’ve never had it doesn’t mean you won’t. and i want to check, because i obviously don’t want you to die. i look forward to talking to you all the time. you’re one of the funniest clients i’ve ever met, and so interesting.

probably not a good idea to be called interesting by a psychologist.

the hotel room we have is twenty floors up. nineteen, actually, because this hotel skips level 13. superstition? it’s so fun. my dad and i snickered about it the first time we spotted it. twenty floors up. the window opens. it’s too cold to do that, but it does.

i made eye contact with my dad across the table in the lounge. i know my dad. i know how he thinks. he’s always telling me to pay rent if i’m gonna read all of his thoughts so clearly.

my dad is aging right in front of me.

and he is absolutely terrified of letting me go upstairs alone.

“i’m sure,” i told them.

my dad swallowed slowly. he struggled to pull out his key card from his wallet, taking his time. i’m not sure if he was taking his time because his fingers don’t move as quickly anymore. i’m not sure if he was taking his time because our fingers were red from the cold that we’re not accostumed to. i’m not sure if i was reading too much into it.

i took the keycard. i went to the elevator. i pressed the button.

the live music really sucked.

and i thought about my parents. sitting there. wondering.

before the doors of the elevator opened, i went back to the lounge. i sat through the aggravating music, and played with the bottle cap of my mom’s barely-touched diet pepsi bottle. we’re a coke zero family.

when an ambulance stopped in front of our hotel, glittering red and blue lights into the lobby, my parents said nothing.

and it said everything.

[bisluthq]

How are you feeling with the bipolar diagnosis and the new meds? I’m hoping they help you! And how is the drinking stuff going? I remember you saying you weren’t sure if you felt better because you stopped drinking or if it was the previous medication. I hope you’re doing well 🫶🏼

I had been wondering why I was “failing therapy” because I made some big steps with my psychologist but she wanted me to see a psychiatrist because the general depression and anxiety weren’t improving and was worried it was treatment resistant depression. Turns out I’m just autistic with ADHD and I’m a classic case of a high masking woman (even my IBS and period problems are linked to it lol). So I had to stop one medication before I can try the ADHD meds, but it’s like I’ve been given the secret manual of why I feel the way I do and so much shit just makes sense now, so I’m excited to try the meds and then see what needs to be addressed after lol. I mean I’m not even attached to this new diagnosis because people have been wrong before and it’s not like it’s cut and dry with a blood test or something, but having a more accurate seeming diagnosis has already done wonders for my internal monologue 😅

totally get what you’re saying and feel much the same way about my diagnosis!! I was genuinely like “OH” and so much shit suddenly made sense. The doctor said I also masked it because I’m… smart right like not to toot my own horn lol… so a lot of shit that normally flags bipolar ii like unfinished degrees and problems at work didn’t really register for me. I finished all my degrees lol but also tbf they were really easy for me? It’s not like I did hard things for myself. And jobs also like I’ve quit a TON of jobs but I always had a “reason” which in hindsight like they probably weren’t good reasons, it probably was just my brain doing nonsense and a lack of impulse control. The drinking also made more sense because it’s a super common comorbidity actually and again part of the lack of impulse control that goes with bipolar ii. Also a lot of other things I’ve done like in hindsight… total fucking lack of impulse control lmao. And so yes quitting drinking was probably a good thing to do BUT I think when I was feeling “better” it was maybe the hypomania lol because SSRIs cause that in people with bipolar ii so I felt better - probably also why I was like “WHO NEEDS ALCOHOL ANYWAY IT IS A POISON!!!!” all excited and shit - but in hindsight I was probably unwell. And I did have a crash right in terms of my mood which I attributed to being overly online and like spaced from my life and unhappy with work/finances but then I went to the psychiatrist and he was super thorough and diagnosed this. Which made a lot of sense. So I’ll see how I am on the meds and they also warned me that I’ll miss the hypomania and be tempted to go off the meds which I obviously mustn’t do.

good luck with your stuff also 🤗🌼

[gottamakesurveys]

Redoing 5000 survey

1. Who are you?

I’m Stef, how about you?

2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you?

I have3 wonderful kids, I’m very chatty and I love comedy.

3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing?

Doing stuff with my kids.

4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if yoare out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time).

I f I remember correctly I loved English, Science, Food Tech, Art, Music the most. I disliked PE, Histoey, geography and DYT. Math, Religion and PSHE was in the middle.

5. What is your biggest goal for this year?

I’m planning to enroll in a Psychology course despite being 34 :)

6. Where do you want to be in 5 years?

Growing even further from therapy. Kids in a good place and hopefully starting a career :)

7. What stage of life are you in right now?

The I can’t be fucked with drama and just want to be happy stage.

8. Are you more child-like or childish?

I certainly think I can fit into both. I am child like in that I’m playful, have an immature humour sometimes and I’m naive but I’m also childish as I can be petty and a bit petulant sometimes.

9. What is the last thing you said out loud?

Shhhh

10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now?

Not sure.

11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes?

I did for a year, yeah

12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same?

It goes through cycles.

13. Does time really heal all wounds?

No, some wounds can’t be healed by time. Time can make wounds easier to deal with though.

14. How do you handle a rainy day?

Just watch funny or interesting stuff.

15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights?

Luggage

16. How is your relationship with your parents Will you miss them when they are gone?

Mostly good though we have some complicated history but of course I’ll miss them when they’re gone.

17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you?

Not always no. It’s funny because due to trauma I’m hyper vigilant. But in general I barely notice anything going on it’s a weird mix.

18. What is the truest thing that you know?

That life is for living.

19. What did you want to be when you grew up?

Actress, Psychologist, Singer

20. Have you ever been given a second chance?

Sure probably more than I deserved.

21. Are you more of a giver or a taker?

I used to be much more of a giver but now I feel I even it out more.

22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind?

I always try to. Obviously it’s hard to be objective always but that’s my intention going into things.

23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you?

Childbirth or a trapped nerve in my back— both stupidly painful.

24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you?

Having to cope with trauma hitting me years later and to deal with the people I love the most being hurt by my decisions. Last year and even the start of this year I wasn’t sure I could carry on honestly.

25. Who have you hugged today?

My son

26. Who has done something today to show they care about you?

My son.

27. Do you have a lot to learn?

Oh of course - we all do.

28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be?

Playing an instrument, becoming a great author, be a better Mum

29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how othepeople make you feel?

I’d say how they make me feel. What people do can be hurtful but often forgiven if I understand their motives same for what they say but if someone hurts me so deeply they ingrain what it felt like to me in my soul it’s hard to ignore that even years later as I won’t rem m we the circumstances just how that person made me feel.

30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship?

Honestly being healthy yourself first - that’s what I’ve learnt this year you can’t know what a healthy relationship looks like without having a healthy relationship qurh yourself.

31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die?

See my kids grow up and be happy, get a career of my own, help a good number of people

32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing?

See my kids suffer, slowly die of an illness, kills one one who didn’t deserve it

33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause?

Just treating people how you’d like to be treated.

34. What does each decade make you think of:The 19..20's:30's:40's:50's:60's:70's:80's:90's:2000 2010's:

Take too long todo all these lol.

35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why?

I’d say 90s as was years I was born and a young child though 00s are also dear to my heart as I grew up and became an adult then and learnt much about life then.

36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song?

Toomany!

37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country?

Yak and Jeremy Corbyn

38. What's your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night?

I tend to listen to Audiobooks or Podcasts or even the Radio. I’d listen to True Crime or Educational channels if had to choose though.

39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why?

Hmmm I dunno a villain who only became a villain because they couldn’t see a way out or because of circumstances - is never knowingly do anything cruel.

40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout?

Was a Guide for a few years.

41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat?

Im pretty chill with either I guess would depend on journey time/price etc.

42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night?

Sky isn’t blue during the day it’s how the light filters through the Earth

43. What does your name mean?

Crowned in a Greek.

44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space?

I’d find both scary.

45. Word association

Take too long lol

46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be?

Freddy Mercury

47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive?

Less sure tbh

48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday?

Lots of Disney’s and the Harry Sootters

49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do?

Flashlight with batteries, food, a crossword book, drink.

I decided to do it because I’ve tried it 3 times since 16 and have only ever got upto around .500 or so, so I wanted to actually break the mold and do it properly especially before it gets deleted off the internet like BZoink did.

If you fancy doing this along with me as well feel free just tag to say you’re doing it as well and I’ll also check out your answers. This is so nostalgic for me :)

Wuah me luck to complete it this time :D

[edhayne]

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

There’s an election around the corner in the UK, US, and France, which means politicians are telling more porkies than usual. Obvs.

Smarter people than me have written pieces on the psychology of lying in its various guises, but one area that I found particularly interesting is the belief that it might stem from the way we are brought up. I have three children and without hesitation, I’ve convinced them that Father Christmas exists, I do my timesheets every day, and that they must show appreciation for terrible, re-gifted birthday presents. This is a problem because as Psychologist Robert Feldman, author of The Liar in Your Life, points out, “We give our kids very mixed messages. What they ultimately learn is that even though honesty is the best policy, it's also at times fine and preferable to lie about things.”

So, what’s all this got to do with my day job? Well, the Advertising Association recently published a report which stated that for the first time in a decade, advertising is “no longer the least-trusted industry”. Hardly cause for an open top bus parade (fittingly, the preferred media touchpoint of the deceitful), but positive news for those who believe that McCann’s “truth well told” mantra is something we should all get behind.

However, before we get too carried away, there are still some big issues that aren’t showing any signs of going away that I want to explore further.

The first is the politics of agency life. The stories I’ve heard about the regularity of history being quickly re-written by power-hungry, insecure individuals when their bosses aren’t happy with a piece of work, is startling. Integrity goes out of the window and the blame game begins. It’s an age-old problem in all walks of life, but it saddens me that as I’ve got older it’s become more obvious. I love working in advertising because of the teamwork that goes into creating great work. The serial liars who brown nose their way up the food chain therefore remain a scourge on our industry and need ratting out.

Secondly, I want to shine a light on some well-known brands that specialise in a specific type of bullsh*t that can often go undetected. A group with vivid imaginations, fake passports and a complete disregard for authenticity. Still not sure what I’m on about?

Meet the provenance porky tellers.

To be clear, I’m not talking about your Russian Meerkats or anything obviously fictional like that. I can also forgive brands like Aesop, Haagen-Dazs and Hotel Chocolat who’ve gone for an exotic name to aid brand perception but haven’t outright lied about their backstory. And I’m acutely aware that many products are no longer produced in the country where the brand was born.

My issue therefore isn’t with those who embellish the truth. It’s with those shameless bastards who tell outright lies about their origin.

Before going to town on them, unlike the agency brown-nosers, I actually have some respect for these mass market fibbers. Credit where credit is due, they’ve mastered the art of (fictional) storytelling and if their sales figures are anything to go by, their elaborate lies have paid off in the short-term.

However, they do also make me feel uneasy. Mark Twain told us to “never let the truth get in the way of a good story”, but if we’re to clean up our act as an industry, and distance ourselves from the sleazy world of politics, building brands on a web of provenance-based lies isn’t a great look.

At this point, it’s very tempting to reel off a list of names that would fail lie detector tests when quizzed about their birthplace. The likes of Hollister and Frankie & Benny’s are two examples, but given we’ll naively be guzzling pints of the stuff during the Euros, I want to highlight a more topical provenance porky teller.

A brand created in 2020 that’s less authentic than Del Boy’s “Peckham Spring Water”, but with a name I could imagine him casually dropping into conversation.

“Madrí Excepcional, Rodney, Madrí Excepcional.”

In case you didn’t know, Madrí Excepcional is “Madrid’s modern-style European cerveza”. Its logo is a man dressed in a traditional chulapo, its advertising is Spanish to its core and its tagline is ‘el alma de Madrid’, meaning the soul of Madrid. It’s an enticing proposition and I’ve been seduced by it on more than one occasion.

So, imagine my shock when an older kid told me that just like Father Christmas, it’s all a load of made-up bollocks.

The story goes that Madrí is a unique collaboration with La Sagra, a brewery Molson Coors bought in 2017, to create “an authentic Spanish lager”. Dreamy. But there’s a reason Spaniards look confused when you ask them about this beer. It turns out that Madrí has only ever been brewed by Molson Coors at several sites in the UK, including Tadcaster in Yorkshire. A lovely place I’m sure, but not Europe’s sunniest capital city. Furthermore, even if you believe the La Sagra partnership is genuine, it’s a brewery in Toledo, which is 70 miles from Madrid and the beer is not even listed as one of their own products. The rumour that Madrí is simply Coors Light with extra hop extract added to it, might explain their reticence and rival beer Mahou’s claim to be the “Real Taste of Madrid”.

Maybe all these lies don’t matter, and I should be grateful that I can enjoy an £8 pint of Tadcaster’s finest brew in London. Clearly, there are much bigger things in life to worry about and it’s worth mentioning that Madrí is now one of the UK’s biggest selling beers, so Molson Coors shareholders couldn’t be happier. However, the big unanswered question is whether their deception will stand the test of time? Trust can only be achieved when you employ the truth, so for the sake of our industry’s reputation, I hope they end up suffering the same fate as the Conservatives at the upcoming election. Unfortunately, that’s taken 14 years to achieve, so don’t hold your breath.

[inmyheadandthoughts]

4th May 2022

Ever since new year’s day this year, I’ve been dreading the arrival of this birthday. I’d always want to add “for some reason”, but i know almost exactly what that reason is. Perhaps i’m afraid of turning older, getting wearier, more broken down. Perhaps i’m scared i’d lose my youthful “edge”, when compared with everyone else. Perhaps i’m afraid that someone younger would come to me with questions, expecting help from someone like me “with my life experience” when i have nothing to offer. Perhaps i’m regretful of things that i could have, should have done when i was younger, but just couldn’t find the resources i needed, whether internal or external, and beat myself up for it. Perhaps also i never really expected to live that long either.

Days have been passing by so fast and suddenly i’m at my “new” workplace for almost a year and a half now - crazy when i thought i’d never survive past my 6-month probation. And despite feeling constantly inadequate, i’m just hearing good things which weird me out totally. Yet despite all this i feel incredibly down on myself, beat myself up for not working normally, not socialising normally, being the ‘weird one’, worried i’d be too cold and people would hate me, etc…

Some days, now often, i would wake up in the morning and feel almost disappointed that i’d woken up. For some reason i’d expected a very different outcome (one that i technically would not experience - cause i’d be DEAD LOL), and obviously that isn’t the case every time. Sigh. I need to - should be - grateful i get to wake up and experience a brand new day - I FUCKING KNOW this, gratitude journaling yadda yadda - but i can’t even do that the second i open my eyes. I used to be able to get over this. Used to feel better, but now everything is getting worse and i don’t really know what to do. I can’t think clearly, speak at the speed at which my brain is thinking, am clumsier than usual - i just want to take a break. A long fucking break. But again, as i always have feared - what if that break lasts forever?

I really feel like since it’s the last year of my twenties i should just really say a big FUCK IT and just do the things i’ve been DYING to try. And now that i have some financial resources, i might just do that. I’ve been trying - at least once a week - to look for things related to living/working abroad. Maybe Australia would be nice (even though it’s hot in some parts of the year lol, one can’t have everything i suppose), although the working holiday visas are now full. I do have another option with the working visa though, and i stand a pretty good chance it seems (although the application fees are HELLA expensive. Sometimes i really need to look above things being expensive and see its real worth. That’s what you get when you come from a low-income background lol), so i might try and apply. If i get it, great, time to go job hunting there, but if not, at least i can say i tried i guess? My main purpose is really to live away from my parents, so even if i don’t make it out of my home country…then at least i guess that’s my sign to rent locally.

But i digress. I was so sure i’d be crazily depressed today seeing as i got up with the same depressive mood that’s been bugging me all week, but i guess little things made it a little less shitty. Birthdays make me weirded out but i’m glad some people wished me this year, which is always nice to see. Had some pecan pie courtesy of my colleague. Managed to hang out and have dinner with colleagues that are hard to catch outside of work hours and a had quite a nice time chatting (rare for socially anxious me, of course). Went home and showered, wasted some time watching brainless tv (it was actually news but i couldn’t concentrate…), and now i’m here typing this up so i wouldn’t forget documenting (especially the waking up thing - maybe i should tell my psychologist but will she force the mindfulness thing down my throat again…we shall see)

[pascalispunkhq-saved]

hailsfm·:

oh, so both your parents were doctors ? that’s incredible; not just their chosen profession but also giving their everything to make sure you guys would grow up in a much safer environment. how did she die, if you don’t mind me asking ? if you’re not comfortable talking about that, i understand. she’s your biggest fan and all of that sounds very wholesome. maybe not only as a big brother figure, but also as a father figure too. none of us should take these special relationships with our siblings for granted. but i feel like we’re both not the kind of people who’d take anything for granted in general. yeah, i get it. but i can assure you that it’s not obvious at all when you’re being interviewed by someone who triggers it. at least from what i’ve seen. then again, you are an actor. so i guess that’s your advantage. i like that. you’re a good man, it’s a very rare breed these days. so i hope you’re feeling like one too, no matter the mistakes you might make along the way. and seeing as all those people willingly stay in your life too and it’s not just one-sided really does speak for you. not bad at reading people either, i see. although i’ve switched the merlot out for a primitivo. you got any of those ?

Sort of. My mother was a child psychologist, my father an OBGYN then moved into specializing in fertility. My little brother is also a doctor; he has a specialty in pediatric neurology and he’s working in as a researcher for biobehavioral science currently. Oh... She took her own life, regrettably. I don’t like to talk about it because it’s hard enough to remember the time before. There isn’t a single day when I don’t think about her, she’s always with me. Lux has always run the house, my older sister and I lived in New York and our parents and younger siblings moved back to Chile, whenever we’d visit it was like we were guests in the house and the audacity we’d have to demand our mother’s attention. I’d do anything, for any of them, truly. I wish I could say it’s because I’m a very good actor but I’m not sure, I think I'm just good at keeping a lid on it. So I keep being told but I just think the bar is really fucking low because I’m just doing the bare minimum; treating people with respect isn’t a hard ask. Primitivo is an Italian wine is it not? A zinfandel? The brand I work with is Chilean wine, obviously. They are mostly famous for their Cabernet Sauvignon. I prefer it to their Merlot.