#objectology

[departmentofobjectoidstudy]

You lost a subject at sea?? Did you ever find them?

Reply from Researcher Wylde:

Unfortunately, it was before my time, so I don't know all the details.

Apparently, they found him recently, so I know he's alive, but we're not allowed to discuss the details, to avoid gossip and false rumors.

Dr. Everheart asked him repeatedly to come back as a subject again, but he always refuses.

P.S.

I went ahead and answered this one even though Dr. Everheart probably would have been able to answer better, because he's currently... unavailable. Sorry about that lol

[oscconfessions]

I'm gonna say it. Anon off.

Cabby's reasoning for her having files? Stupid. It could've been because she's into anthropology (objectology?), or she wants to invent a strategy, or even just for the fun of it, and yet it's because she has memory issues? She's already physically disabled, why give her something for her mind too?

.

[object-ology]

untitled (the stigmata), Sheffield.

Shot on 35mm, 2022

[beyourbest-gabriela]

❤️❤️❤️ Hermès #Objectology #pierrealexisdumas exhibición en la bellísima Casa de Victoria Ocampo Fabulosa selección de prendas, accesorios y objetos Vintage y contemporáneos #hermes #muestrabuenosaires #fahsion #fahsionstyle #hermesbag #blogdemoda #fashionblog #pierrealexisdumas #hermeenbuenosaires #casadevictoriaocampo #instastyle #hermesbag #instafashion #instapic #moda

[notpatriciamaria]

“Objectology” is with Lethes Art in Ponte de Lima (PT) till september 30th. If around, show some love.

[lindamerad]

HERMÈS OBJECTOLOGY

Series of illustrations for the touring exhibition Hermès Objectology through Latin America : Panama (from September 7th to September 17th, 2017), Argentina (from October 20th to 28th, 2017) and Chile (from November 23th to December 2nd, 2017). Available in the exhibition space, the free catalogue includes drawings of iconic objects selected in the history of Hermès as a collection of posters. Art direction / Graphic design : Rachel Cazadamont (H5) Illustration : Linda Merad

http://www.lindamerad.com/HERMES-OBJECTOLOGY

[dkprop]

Noticias del Sector : La cultura del objeto a través de los años, en una muestra de Hermès

Objectology, en la Casa de Victoria Ocampo, propone un diálogo entre piezas emblemáticas y sus pares contemporáneos.  from Clarin.com - ARQ http://ift.tt/2gFHyiM http://ift.tt/eA8V8J

[departmentofobjectoidstudy]

Have you guys had any big breakthroughs in your research recently?

Reply from Dr. Everheart:

My work lately has been very specialized for each individual subject. There are rarely any breakthroughs that would apply to objectoids as a whole...

There was a time about five years ago when I was working towards understanding the oxygen intake of full-body objectoids (those whose entire body is made of an inorganic material), but my research was cancelled after an incident at sea resulted in the loss of the subject (not death, mind you), and I've been struggling to get anything particularly interesting approved by the board ever since.

[departmentofobjectoidstudy]

The Everheart Amendment 51-75

Dr. Everheart is known to follow the DOS rules and regulations to the letter, but no further. If there isn't a rule against a specific action, he sees no wrong in doing it. Because of this outlook, there is a set of rules in the DOS guidelines that were implemented specifically because of him and his team (particularly Researcher Wylde). This ever-growing list of do's and don't's (but mostly don't's) is known colloquially as the "Everheart Amendment." It consists of rules put in place by the board of directors after having witnessed Dr. Everheart or his team members perform, plan to perform, or suggest/threaten to perform the actions mentioned within them.

Previous - Next

51. The board of directors are not to be referred to as the “fun police.” 52. Excessive use of brass instruments will result in said object being confiscated and possibly destroyed. a. This goes for woodwind and percussion instruments as well. 53. The Floor Is Lava is prohibited, excluding occasions where actual molten lava has been spilled on facility grounds. 54. Researchers are not allowed to disguise themselves as head scientists in order to access the head scientists' lounge. a. Nor is Dr. Oslac Everheart allowed to dress a researcher up as himself in order to avoid meetings. 55. DOS personnel are prohibited from telling civilians that birds are “cameras that work for the government.” 56. Nerf Guns are only permitted in the testing rooms for approved testing purposes. a. As are genuine firearms. 57. Dr. Oslac Everheart is not allowed to pose as Dr. Jude Everheart on any occasion. a. Nor is Dr. Oslac Everheart allowed to enlist Dr. Jude Everheart to pose as him so he can avoid meetings. 58. After the repeated incidents and mishaps, personnel are now banned from bringing baked beans to the facility. Editor's Note: I hope the Reddit Gold was worth it, Wylde. 59. New employees are not to be described as any species of simian. 60. Researchers are not allowed to edit the audio of test footage. a. They are especially prohibited from attaching sounds from "Ed Edd N Eddy" to test footage. 61. Dr. Oslac Everheart is not allowed to refer to any of his facilities as "The Land of Oz." a. Nor are any researchers. 62. Researchers are prohibited from writing “that’s wild” in the comment box on official data analysis documents. a. “That’s wylde” is also prohibited. 63. Vehicle objectoids are prohibited from being driven in facility halls. 64. Head scientists are not allowed to intimidate interns by claiming they will, "piss on your cat," "harvest your teeth," or "eat your girlfriend." a. Nor are head scientists allowed to tell interns to "say goodbye to your eyelashes." b. Nor can they threaten to "steal your bone marrow." c. Oslac, be nice to the interns. 65. Male researchers are not allowed to post "Girls Only" signs on the entrances to DOS facilities in order to get time off. a. Nor are they allowed to post "No Boys Allowed" signs. 66. Head scientists do not, and shall not, keep the heads of previous head scientists cryogenically frozen in the research center's basement. 67. Researchers outside of Dr. Everheart’s team are not “normies.” 68. “Wouldn’t you like to know” is not a proper response when asked about test or experiment results. 69. Dress code violation is not an assertion of dominance. 70. Scientists are not allowed to smuggle Nature Valley Crunch Bars into testing sites. 71. Board meeting guests may not bring wooden planks with faces drawn on them. 72. Head scientists may not purposefully "ghost" the board of directors, especially when they know they are doing something wrong. 73. Researchers are not allowed to run an OnlyFans account consisting of: pictures of Dr. Everheart asleep, pictures of Dr. Everheart from behind, pictures of Dr. Everheart drinking energy drinks, or pictures of Dr. Everheart pointing at the camera. a. Nor are they allowed to have an OnlyFans account consisting entirely of Dr. Everheart’s left hand. b. Researchers are no longer permitted to have an OnlyFans account. 74. "Ask for forgiveness, not for permission" is not the motto of any DOS research team, nor should it be treated as such. 75. The Cupid Shuffle is not an authorized mobility test. b. Nor is the Cha Cha Slide.

[departmentofobjectoidstudy]

If a subject were to die, would you be criminally charged or would the organization protect you?

Reply from Researcher Wylde:

Unless it were caused by like crazy misconduct or something super unapproved by the board, everyone involved would be protected from charges if the subject were to die. It's never happened in my time here, though.

The DOS has a history of subject deaths, though, like a long time ago. They don't like to talk about it of course. They've gotten way better about ensuring tests stay as safe as possible, but there's always a risk of things going wrong, yk?

[departmentofobjectoidstudy]

What kind of specific research or experiments do you guys even do?

Reply from Researcher Wylde:

This is kind of a difficult question to answer broadly because our tests are very specific to the subject we're running them on.

Basically, our job is to find the limits of an objectoid's power and then try to push them past that, in order to achieve their full potential and optimize their power for law enforcement use (if they decide to go that route). Dr. Everheart also takes a keen interest in the inner workings of an objectoid's anatomy, how their object parts connect to the human parts, and so on, but this is more difficult to safely explore...

Sometimes our experiments involve the kind of stuff you might see in action films, and those are my favorite.

Art by Clarincy

[departmentofobjectoidstudy]

The Everheart Amendment 76-99

Dr. Everheart is known to follow the DOS rules and regulations to the letter, but no further. If there isn't a rule against a specific action, he sees no wrong in doing it. Because of this outlook, there is a set of rules in the DOS guidelines that were implemented specifically because of him and his team (particularly Researcher Wylde). This ever-growing list of do's and don't's (but mostly don't's) is known colloquially as the "Everheart Amendment." It consists of rules put in place by the board of directors after having witnessed Dr. Everheart or his team members perform, plan to perform, or suggest/threaten to perform the actions mentioned within them.

Previous - Next

76. Dr. Helen Fargo is prohibited from hiding Dr. Everheart’s Nintendo DS, Dr. Everheart's snacks, or any items within her cleavage. 77. Testing footage is not to be submitted to Tosh.0. a. Or Ridiculousness. b. Or America's Funniest Home Videos. c. Researcher Wylde, we’re warning you. 78. Subjects who successfully complete tests do not receive an item from a treasure box. a. Nor do they receive a sticker, candy bar, or lollipop. 79. Wearing a Burger King crown does not put you above the board of directors’ orders. 80. The DOS does not have scheduled musical number protocols. a. There is no "Everheart: the Musical" in production. 81. No facilities in the DOS Research Center are to be referred to as an "evil lair," "den of sin," or "man cave." 82. "There are no rules" is a false statement, and personnel may not misinform new employees by stating such a phrase. 83. "Rules are made to be broken" does not apply to the DOS or any of its employees. a. Neither does “rules schmules.” 84. Employees who are fired or laid off are not sent to the "Shadow Realm." 85. Personnel are not to use cardboard boxes to hide themselves when attempting to enter restricted areas. 86. Tin foil hats are prohibited in DOS facilities. a. As are any other clothing items that are made from tin foil. 87. None of the DOS personnel are to be referred to as “weapons of ass destruction.” 88. Personnel are prohibited from programming Doom onto any DOS technology. 89. Instructional briefs on combat-oriented tests are not to contain the phrase “if you die in the game, you die in real life.” 90. Researchers are prohibited from purposefully getting more rules added to the amendment in order to “hit the triple digits.” 91. Researcher William Wylde is not in any way related to or affiliated with an American rock musician, and is not allowed to promise autographs from said musician in exchange for favors. 92. Access badges are not to be given to Girl Scouts so they can sell cookies within secure DOS facilities. 93. Personnel are not to have their buttocks anywhere near open flames. 94. Subject #046 is not to be flipped upside down and spun on her propellers. a. Nor are regular DOS helicopters. 95. "The vibes are off today" is not a valid excuse to not come to work. 96. Fursuits and mascot costumes are strictly prohibited from being worn on facility grounds. 97. Breaking three rules in a row does not result in a free sundae. 98. The head scientist's orders do not take priority over the listed rules. 99. Employees can not use "Oz-Bucks" they saved up to bypass any rules. a. They can not bypass this rule, either.

[departmentofobjectoidstudy]

Are there specific qualifications to be met for being a field researcher?

Reply by Researcher Wylde:

Most researchers start out as paid college interns. Typically you gotta have a really high GPA and you gotta be working for a degree in some kind of bioscience, but there's sometimes exceptions.

The head scientist has a lot of say for who gets to be on their research team. Especially Dr. Everheart, because he's already really eccentric and difficult to work with. If he had his way, he wouldn't have any researchers at all, because he likes doing everything himself. A research team is actually supposed to have five researchers, but he only has four because the board of directors gave up trying to force him to have a full team lol.

Because of this, our team has Perry (Researcher Moore), who isn't particularly keen on science, and Barry (Researcher Hart), who isn't a university student. They both started out as general assistants, but I advised Dr. Everheart to take them on as field researchers bc they're funny. And having researchers who aren't actually very good scientists is good for him cuz that means he can leave all the basic tasks to them while he gets to do the actual science-y stuff.

[departmentofobjectoidstudy]

When we're Objectoids first discovered? Who was the first Objectoid found?

Reply by Dr. Everheart:

Objectoids have been around for several hundred years at least. The earliest known record of them dates back to 712 years ago, when a young woman wrote of them in a letter to her friend. However, it is believed that they have existed even longer still, although how long exactly remains a topic of debate.

The first objectoid found is also a topic of much debate. It is difficult to pinpoint exactly because they began appearing all over the world at roughly the same time, in an era where worldwide communication was impossible.

It should be noted, however, that objectoids seem to have grown more powerful in recent centuries, as there are no records of superhuman abilities dating before 1625, meaning either objectoids from before that time were concealing their true power, or all objectoids back then were lesser objectoids.

I personally don't have much of an opinion on the matter, as the history of objectoids is admittedly not a particular interest of mine. I care more for the objectoids that exist today than the ones that lived in the past, and since we have yet to find a way to commune with the dead, any questions I may have for them are largely unanswerable.

It is an intriguing mystery, though, albeit one that I don't predict we will be able to solve any time soon.

[departmentofobjectoidstudy]

Meet the Everheart Research Team

The Everheart Research Team has been tasked with performing the majority of the upkeep for this blog, due to the fact that several of their employees are remarkably internet-savvy. Here is a short biography of each of them.

Dr. Oslac Everheart Head Scientist Born in Hawaii, Dr. Everheart moved to the mainland in order to pursue objectology. His highly inquisitive nature has aided him in achieving a very successful career. Although he has been known to take things a bit too far in the past, he is a man of rules and guidelines, and is quite strict about following them. So long as his actions do not break the rules of the DOS, he will stop at nothing to attain answers to his burning scientific questions.

Dr. Helen Fargo Head Assistant The dedicated assistant to Dr. Everheart, Dr. Fargo is a woman of intellect and studiousness. She is very straightforward and serious, and rarely ever smiles. On top of aiding Dr. Everheart in his research, her job is also to ensure that he remains within the limits of the rules, as a safety precaution. She holds the authority to pull the plug on any of his tests if she deems them too hazardous for the subject or researchers.

William Wylde Head Researcher Although he is young and lacking in the prestigious education of his superiors, Researcher Wylde is remarkably intelligent and clever. He has an uncanny knack for memorization and learning, and often will be able to familiarize himself with new concepts at incredible speeds. He is a well-known troublemaker, but his scientific prowess more than makes up for the mischief he gets up to in his down time, which is why he has yet to be fired.

Percival Moore Field Researcher Often thought of as Wylde's partner in crime, Researcher Moore is often tasked with the more physically demanding jobs on the team, because of his larger stature and the fact that he is not good with paperwork. He was given the position on Dr. Everheart's team at the recommendation of Wylde.

Lucianna Skye Field Researcher An up and coming woman in science, Researcher Skye is thought to be the energy of the Everheart Research Team. She is upbeat and cheerful, and remarkably dedicated to her job. She is both a morale booster as well as an excellent scientist.

Barry Hart Field Researcher The newest and youngest member of the team, Researcher Hart is an excellent assistant, and is particularly skilled at handling paperwork. Although he often has difficulty keeping up with his coworkers and their antics, he is a valued member of the team and he is equally dedicated as his teammates.

[departmentofobjectoidstudy]

Announcement

I (Wylde) was banned from social media by the Director but now I'm back! Feel free to ask me or any of the researchers more questions, however I was forced to sign an NDA pertaining to the reason I was temporarily banned, so I can't answer anything about that. If you look for me on tiktok, you might find it though 👀

-- Researcher Wylde