#obey me sneeze

[aceoftrashies]

Sick sneezy (messy If it doesn't bother you)

Asmo?

Ooooh... it would be an honor! 🥰

!! snz and mess under cut !!

"Ugghhh..." Asmodeus groaned, laying in bed, his head feeling heavy like a bowling ball. He had fallen ill, probably from a late night party-goer who didn't care about being sick.

Asmodeus grabbed a tissue and blew his nose for what felt like the fifteenth time since he woke up that morning. Except, blowing his nose this time around has seemed to have caused a reaction.

"hh... h-hihhh... haahh..--!!"

Quickly, he blindly reached for a tissue, but it was too late. He lurched forward with a sopping, wet sneeze that stung the back of his throat.

"heh'TSCHewww!!" Strings of snot dripped from his nose, which made him look down in horror. He sniffled wetly as a desperate attempt to try and gain back some control over it, but to no avail.

He finally grabbed the tissue, cleaned himself up as best as he could, and blew his nose. Thank Diavolo no one saw him like that.

He sniffles thickly and groans again before lightly coughing into his arm. He felt the familiar nose tickle come back, putting a finger under his nose. He knew his sneezes were always messier when sick, and he hated that.

"Ahh... n-no, please... hahh...!! hah'TSCHeww! h'tSSHhew!" Fate did him dirty, making him not only let out one super messy sneeze; but two. String of mucus connected to his blanket as he lurched forward, blindly getting a few more tissues to tend to his nose.

He once again cleaned himself as best as he could, cleaning off a bit of the bed while lightly grumbling to himself. He buried himself in the blankets, hoping that this terrible cold would go away soon.

[fetishccinealfredo]

I was working a late night shift, and while there was not much to do, my mind wandered. But it wandered to the most raunchy snz shit with S//imeon.

I'm out here doing what I'm doing while my head is playing a fantasy of a fictional angel making himself sneeze and getting off to it.

[aceoftrashies]

I will admit, I’ve never thought about this. 

....

But I sure as hell will now,,,

Why does Lucifer look like he's allergic to pillow feathers to me

His face look so red skfhdkd

MC : Hey Lucifer! *hits Lucifer with a pillow until all feathers come out*

Lucifer : Just what is it you're trying to- HACHOO!

*all of the sudden, MC was sent flying by a shockwave*

MC :

Lucifer :

Lucifer : Pretend you never hear that.

MC : Th-That's his sneeze? His sneeze that could literally kill me??

[the-travelling-witch]

Mc: *sneezes*

Mammon, leaning towards Levi, whispering: What does it mean when humans do that?

Levi, whispering back: I think they just took a screenshot

[misc-obeyme]

MC: *summons Lucifer to their house in the human world right when he's in the middle of something*

Lucifer: This had better be important.

MC: Can you change the batteries in my smoke detector? I’m afraid of ladders.

Lucifer: You are a sorcerer, MC. Didn’t Solomon teach you a spell that would help you with this?

MC: Yeah, he taught me how to summon you.

Lucifer: …

Technically MC was right & Lucifer decided he would rather indulge them than argue with them about it further. Thus the mighty Lucifer spent an evening changing smoke detector batteries.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[radarchives]

[ur-dad-satan]

My allergies make me want relive lesson 16 from the base game

[cloudcountry]

i feel like this has happened to literally every content creator but when you make a silly post it gets like 5k notes and people will reblog it almost a year later but when you've made something you're actually proud of it's stuck at like. 137 notes or something.

[monssolo]

I'm glad we're acknowledging the importance of this

[moon0shadow]

i love obey me fics that are just the demons freaking out over MC doing a natural simple human thing bc apparently demons don't do said natural simple thing.

MC: *sneezes*

The Demons: Aw fuck the human is dying.

MC: *Bends over to touch their toes cuz flexible*

The Demons: What bewitchery is this?!

[aceoftrashies]

An allergy reaction from simeon about a devildoom flower?

what a great way to get myself back into writing!

While being in the Devildom and the Celestial Realm are both entirely different places; they're both beautiful in their own ways.

The flowers in the Celestial Realm are often bright colors, like white, yellow, pink, and purple. The Devildom's take on flowers is more unique, with the most common flower colors being black and different shades of blue and teal.

You were outside in a Devildom flower field, hand-picking a bouquet for Simeon, because he loves being around flowers, and it gives you a chance to see more of the flowers in the Devildom.

With a final pluck of an elegant dark blue flower, you headed back home to Simeon. When you presented him the bouquet, his eyes lit up.

"Oh, Y/N, you shouldn't have! They're absolutely l-lovely..." He sniffled, and you thought for a second he was going to cry. But before you could say anything...

"heh'TSShew!!" Simeon sneezed, a huge one at that. He took a sharp inhale before sneezing once more, turning away from the bouquet as well as you to sneeze into the crook of his arm. "haAh'tSHeww!"

Simeon sniffles, gently rubbing his nose as he held the bouquet still, grateful despite the attack on his sinuses.

"Oh, forgive me.. *snf* I must be aller.... allergiihhh... hAH'tSHewww!!" Another sneeze cuts him off, more ticklish sounding than before.

"....Allergic to the flowers down h-hehhh... h-here..." He manages to get out the sentence, surprisingly. "And you know, I think I have the p-perfect... h-hihh--!! EH'TSHEWW!!" Woah! That was big!

He grabbed a lovely glass vase, putting the bouquet in it before quickly going and grabbing a tissue. "Now, isn't that lovely?" Simeon asked, before blowing his nose.

It certainly was. Although the flowers weren't the only lovely thing out of this.

[zephyrchama]

Obey Me headcanon about Luke:

Any time you sneeze within earshot of Luke, the kid will come running to bless you.

Simeon and Raphael will of course say "bless you" if they're nearby, Solomon will say it on occasion out of courtesy, but Luke will drop what he's doing and come sprinting in like it's his personal mission.

If you're in the House of Lamentation and sneeze, without fail you'll hear the thump thump thump of Luke's footsteps before he appears. You'll hear him coming down the corridor at RAD and see him pop up around the corner. "Did you just sneeze? I'll bless you!" If he's in a situation where he hears you and can't say it, bet that you'll get a "bless you" text on your D.D.D. within a few minutes.

[noearchives]

when you're sick...

sanji doesn't leave your side for hours. he only tears himself away from your bed to make you lunch and dinner, and he makes it as quick as possible so he won't have to leave you alone for too long. he's so dramatic- he's clutching your hand like you're on your deathbed even if chopper told him countless times that it's just the common cold. asks if you're feeling okay every five minutes, wondering if he should change the cold towel on your forehead and such. the worst thing is, he can't kiss you when you're sick. when will this torture end?

"don't worry, my love. you'll get well soon in no time."

"the only person worrying here is you, sanji."

zoro knows you're strong, so he doesn't need to worry- or at least that's what he thinks. he tries to act normal, going through his usual workout routine and bickering with the curly-browed cook, but only the attentive miss robin notices how zoro's toned his voice down even when he's arguing so he won't wake you up. when he takes a nap, he sits in the corner of your room so that he can hear you breathe, and when he returns to his usual activities on the sunny, he cracks the door open for just the slightest once in a while so he can check on you (discreetly, so he doesn't look like a creep).

"just admit that you're worried, mosshead."

"shut the hell up, curly."

ace only whines when marco announces that you're sick and that he shouldn't come too close to you. "the two of you, behave. no kisses, no hugs, nothing." marco says sternly as he takes your temperature. ace wants to drop to the ground and kick his feet around like a child throwing a tantrum- but he sucks it up anyways, a pout on his face as he holds a spoonful of soup to your lips. "say ahh," he says, and when you obey, he's back to smiling again. this is actually kinda fun, he thinks as he feeds you spoonfuls again and again.

he ends up disobeying marco's commands, kissing your cheek before you fall asleep. just this once, doc.

law is unimpressed. very unimpressed. he told you to wear an extra layer of clothing when the two of you went out that day. he went as far as offering you his own coat, but you flashed him a grin with a thumbs up, insisting that you're fine. well, look at you now, complaining about how your head feels like it's about to split in half with a raspy voice. "i told you, didn't i?" he sighs, which results in another whine from you. "can't you be nicer when poor little me is weak and feeble?" you say, followed by a cough and three consecutive sneezes. law resists the urge to roll his eyes. he kisses your forehead as he places a cold towel on it with a dissatisfied 'tsk' of his tongue. "poor little you should've worn a jacket if you didn't want to get sick like this."

[radarchives]

[demonlorddiva]

Obey me brothers with a sick mc!

I feel my Magnum opus for this page will be a full sickfic with the obey me brothers and maybe some others but for now, I have these hcs for ya. Enjoy!

Lucifer

Boy is STRESSED but trying to keep calm for you

At least his brothers promised to be good, be quiet, and not do any pranks while your not feeling well

If you try to hide your illness from him he will immediately call you out on it and make you go to bed

If you’ve seen kamisama kiss I think Lucifer would very much be like tomoe

Just straight up walking up behind you, feeling your forehead and ordering you to go to bed

He’s in charge of your medicine. He has an alarm set to his phone for the exact minute you need another dose

Will bring you into his room to keep a close eye on you, with the fireplace and Lucifer cuddling you there’s no need to worry about chills

Very worried if you don’t want to eat. Will practically beg you to have some broth at least

Wants to take your temperature and know exactly how your feeling and if it’s getting worse or not at all times

If it gets bad he will (begrudgingly) ask Solomon for help

Very good at giving comfort, will let you know everything is okay and that he will take care of you and you will be better in no time

Mammon

Bros panicking tbh

Thinks this is the end that your dying and you’ll never recover

Will use this as an excuse to stay home from school

“What do ya mean?? My humans sick they can’t be home alone!! They need the great mammon to take care of them!”

Read a fic once where mammon stays home with you when your sick, and he thinks this is an opportunity to hang out when you are legitimately Ill and just want to sleep and I find that so accurate sorry LMAO

“Your tired?? I wanted to watch a movie with ya! 😞”

But once he finds out your actually hurting and not feeling well he gets empathetic

If you need something he’s on the move trying to get it for you

You want some water? Well if asmos having a glass he will take it right out of his hands just so he can get it to you faster

Will only leave your room if he’s dragged out by someone else cause he needs to take care of himself or rest for a bit

Levi

Panicking x2

Thinks your dying at first and doesn’t want to come near with the fear of not knowing what to do if something goes wrong

But once you tell him you just want someone with you/ just some comfort all the romance animes he’s seen where the main character is sick he’s ON IT

Checks your temperature, gets you more blankets and pillows, the whole 9 yards 

Will order your favorite takeout/comfort food

If you don’t feel like leaving your room, he will play video games on his handheld in your bed till you fall asleep

If you want to go to his room, it’s already set up before you get there

His bathtub bed is stocked with the best blankets and all the plushies so your extra comfy

Will put on an easy to watch slice of life anime for you to watch while you relax

Room is STOCKED with all the essentials. Pain medication, chest rub, water, light snacks, all so you don’t have to get up and he doesn’t have to leave his room

I LOVE watching ppl play video games so I hc that he plays a single player game so you can watch

He’s CONSTANTLY messaging Lucifer every time you cough, sneeze, groan, to the point where he gets mad and comes and checks on you himself and tells Levi to calm down

Overall he’s very attentive and caring and you NEED to get better now!! He needs his player 2!

Satan

He’s got suspicions ever since the night before when you said your throat hurts

Keeps a watchful eye on you for the rest of the night, making you go to bed early

He’s read up on every single illness a human can get, this is his time to shine and take care of you!

If he gets his hands on your medication before Lucifer does, he’s in charge. No discussions. He will give it to you the moment you need it

If you have a fever, he’s there with a cold compress, having you drink water and saying the sweetest things while you work through it

He’s not worried, stop asking, he’s cool as a cucumber

He says as he opens every human world illness book he can find

Very comforting, will give you all the cuddles if you ask

Definitely reads to you till you fall asleep

Doesn’t want to leave when you do drift off, worried you’ll get worse

Makes you the best human world soup for you to eat with all the nutrients for you to get better

Asmo

Will be worried he will get sick too and ruin his beauty (sorry asmo stans, I am too but it’s a fact I’m sorry 😭)

At first he sends you encouraging messages and definitely checks up on you

But once Solomon lets him know he can’t get sick from you he’s all over you

He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he has a nurses costume. And dressing the part is half of the job right?

He’s bubbly and bright, hoping to put a smile on your face

Feels your forehead and knows you have a fever and has no idea how to help

When you tell him you’ve taken medication already it makes him feel better

A full spa day is in order, he brings you to his room where the bath is already prepared with essential oils, salts, and different scents to warm you up and open your sinuses

If your okay with it (he will ask permission before walking in on you in the bath) he will wash and condition your hair, getting out all the knots in your hair from staying in bed for the past few days

He has one of his silk pajama sets for you to wear, cooking enough when you have a fever but covered enough so you don’t get a cold

Will put your head in his lap and massage your head, neck, and shoulders if you have any pain till you fall asleep

But if you fall asleep he *might* just sneak a couple selfies of you looking “so sleepy and SO adorable!”

Beel

Immediately worried

If he’s the first person to find out your sick, he picks you up, takes you to the common room, and says “mcs dying”

He’s never seen you so weak before and he’s just so worried and wants to get you help NOW

Will listen to anyone giving him instructions on what to get you or what to do

VERY comforting, it seems like he knows the exact times you need a cuddle or for someone to tell you it’s okay

You keep telling everyone your not hungry, that your in pain and you don’t want to eat, nothing sounds good

Then beel goes “what if I make you ___?”

His cooking just sounds better for some reason

Maybe it’s because you know if beel made it it’s tasty? Or maybe you know if he made it it’s made with love

Will feed you, no questions. He doesn’t want you wasting your energy feeding yourself

You’ll never be cold again cause he’s right there at all times with a hug

Belphegor

He knows humans, so when you have a cold he’s not worried (or so he says)

“Ew gross your sick? Wait no don’t kick me out I wanna cuddle”

He tries to remain chill so you relax as well

He’s always there, whenever you wake up from sleeping he’s there shushing you back to sleep

All the cuddles, all day long

But what you don’t know is that he’s not sleeping

He’s constantly messaging Solomon or Lucifer letting them know your condition

And constantly making sure your sleeping well and feeling okay

Forces all the brothers to get things you need

If they complain he will say that you are cold and he can’t leave cause you NEED him

When you get better he will ask for favors

“Come on i was so helpful when you were sick! You can do the dishes tonight right?”

Do one favor and tell him your done for your own sake

As I said I wanna get into making full fics and I have ideas I’m just nervous for no reason BUT I hope you like this and I hope you have a good day okay bye ✌️

[belphies-cowgirl]

obey me headcanons pt. 4

word count: 5K+ (oops went a little overboard, hope this doesn't flop though)

Lucifer

he has his records organized alphabetically (Satan & Belphie rearrange them at least once a month) 

he once stood in the kitchen at 3 am cutting up fruits and veggies into pretty designs for his brothers to eat for breakfast (even princess's poison apples in the shape of cats for Satan) but they all assumed you made them and you just agreed while half asleep at the table.

Mammon 

keeps all the notes you take for him in class in a folder hidden in the back of his closet (he never bothered to study half of them) 

shoves hell-sauce-flavored ramen cups under his couch when he doesn't feel like throwing them away. you found them all one time and he was so embarrassed and stuttering so much you thought he was gonna pass out. 

Levi 

dusts his figurines twice a week and has to have his manga lined up neatly in numerical order by series (he WILL hover while you put back one of his mangas that you borrowed)

once fainted when you came into his room cosplaying as one of his favorite characters. poor baby needed a few days to recover after that. but you looked so perfect wearing it and it made his heart explode on sight.

he is crazy talented at digital art, it's a secret hobby of his. you just assume he orders digital prints of your favorite characters off akuzon for you. but he's too shy and embarrassed to tell you he's the one who made them. he thinks you'll reject them if you find out. but it's just another way he shows his love for you, even if you don't know about it. 

Satan 

has cat hair all over his room (obviously) and used-up lint rollers under his bed. he wears a sweater and acts like no one can see all that cat hair.

has specific bookmarks for each genre, but he'll replace some of them with any bookmarks you make/give him. his favorite is the cat bookmark with a bell tied at the end of the string you got him for his birthday (sometimes he shakes the book to hear it jingle)

Asmo 

signs his name in cursive with a little heart after the "o"

sometimes he rubs his nose against yours and then walks away. don't question why, he doesn't need a reason to show you his undying love and affection.

he once shrieked when he found out Beel had accidentally eaten one of his bath bombs. that must explain why Beel sneezed glitter in the common room later that night. 

Beel 

keeps the receipts from all of the places you've both eaten at together.

loves it when you bring home leftover jam/sauce packets for him (he loves the mini-apocalyptic apple ones) 

loves it when you pack extra snacks into his duffle before Fangol games. he'll sit on a bench in the locker room after a game and happily munch on them while blushing. you're so sweet for always doing that, he'll reward you with forehead kisses when he gets back to the HoL.

Belphie 

will surprisingly spend time reorganizing his bed in the attic because he stole more of your plushies and has to make room for them (he picks one to curl up with each week) he refuses to give them back but will pout and whine when you say you want them back. if you try to take one back while he's napping his tail will reach out for it and hide it under the covers.

is a little shit (a brat and a menace but anyways <3) he'll whine when you try to get up from under the covers or if you move too much in your sleep. he'll wrap his tail around your leg or waist to keep you from moving. you went to stand up one time and fell forward because his tail was wrapped tightly around your ankle. he glared at you, scoffed, then rolled over, mumbling about how you're always so noisy and clumsy. 

Diavolo 

used to feed the Little D's. Barbatos found out about it because they kept leaving crumbs behind, and later scolded Diavolo and the Little D's. 

keeps a little figurine you got him as a good luck charm on his desk while he does paperwork. sometimes it distracts him because he'll glance at it and start smiling like an idiot just thinking about you, he always shoots you a text afterward.

Barbatos

listens to metal/rock and I refuse to believe otherwise.

sometimes lets the Little D's listen to music while they attend to their daily duties. they'll end up singing and dancing, but one glance from him and they get back to work immediately. 

Simeon 

leaves cute little notes in your locker or slips them into your textbooks/notebooks for you to find later in class. "good luck on your exam today! :)" or if he's feeling romantic, "you look even more ethereal than usual today <3" he has so much romantic rizz and is completely oblivious about it most of the time. like yeah, you totally just swooned and blushed for no reason.

has really good memory. he'll remember almost anything you say or do, but won't remember anything when it comes to technology. he'll be sitting next to you and randomly bring up the most specific thing that you did two months ago on a Friday. yet he can't remember how to check his call log or change a contact picture (he tries to change yours a lot because he just can't decide which picture to use, they're all so perfect)

Solomon 

drinks tea and coffee out of flasks and beakers sometimes because he's too lazy to wash a few mugs. 

he’s basically “malewife” material, but he does NOT need to be in the kitchen. there's a reason why you carry a mini container of antacids with you. he'll lowkey pout when he notices you keep making excuses for not eating his food. come on, one bite won't hurt, he put so much love into that oozing sandwich that just moved a little bit on the plate.

lets you doodle on his notes during class (he teases you about it every time) he writes around the doodles and will cut them out once he no longer needs the notes. he uses them as bookmarks or keeps them in his little memento box. he's the type to keep movie tickets and polaroids with the date written on the back. he kept a polaroid of you making a surprised face when you realized he was taking a picture of you sitting on his bed wearing a facemask and snacking while scrolling on your D.D.D. 

Luke 

keeps a mini first-aid kit in his backpack. did you get a papercut? he's got a bandaid on standby.

he’ll sometimes leave a sweet treat in your locker for you to eat during lunch (in a tupperware container in case you wanna save it for later) he's so precious and puts so much love into his baking.

hides frosting tubes in his nightstand drawer. will throw them all away in a random trashcan at RAD when he's finished with them. can't have Simeon questioning the sudden pile of frosting tubes in the trashcan, which are coincidentally Luke's favorite flavors.

✄ ——————————————————————

feel free to comment, reblog, shoot me a message, or an ask <3

please do not use my work as your own! 

m.list