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[oddinarylani]

'i just wished you cared about me' arranged marriage skz pt. 2.

pt 2: han, felix, seungmin, jeongin.

w: blood in han's, depression in seungmin's.

a/n: thank you for being patient, the long awaited part 2 is finally here, enjoy.

𝓱𝓪𝓷. ↴

he stumbled into your home still laughing, with the voices of his friends still booming behind him. a second later the door is closed behind him and his laughter dies down into something soft. while your ears have perked at the sound, your eyes raising from the printed page of your book, you stay put in your spot on the couch if just adjusting a bit. he slides the beanie from his head, shaking his shiny brown hair out a bit before his eyes wander to your form. “oh!” he grabs his chest, jumping slightly. the reaction brings a small smile to your face, but you quickly force it down. “why are you up? it’s super late.” he wanders to the kitchen, his voice sounding particularly far away now. your eyes roll, you thumb your book to keep your place. “i know you only go out at night, so i figured i’d stay up to see if you wanted to do something. i didn’t know you were going out.” upon your glance, you see the clock reads four twenty-seven am, and you groan, rubbing your eyes. this wasn’t the exchange you were hoping for. 

when he re-emerges from the kitchen, your eyes scour his form, noticing the purplish lines that are forming in the tender skin of his under-eyes and the somewhat gaunt appearance of his pale-ish skin. you back straightens, “have you been drinking, jisung?” he’s already walking to your bedroom, but he slows his steps to a halt, turning back to lock eyes with you. “you don’t have to worry about me.”

your eyes trail on his form until he’s disappeared completely into the confines of your bedroom, only then do you sit back though still ever-worried. “of course i do, i’m your wife remember?” 

jisung had fought tooth and nail for a nontraditional vampire wedding. he simply refused. it was bad enough your marriage was arranged with little to no say from the both of you on your choice of spouse, but he put his foot down at the idea of a traditional ceremony. you both wore black, surrounded by loved ones yet absent of friends, and you were bound to each other for the rest of your days. your human family was keen on this celebration of conjoining lives, having an option wasn’t an option - so with doubts you moved forward in the marriage - trying desperately hard to make things work. 

a lot of your marriage to jisung was learning things about him through subtle cues - if the environment was relaxed enough it was easier to get him talking about his personal life or interests, though this had been an occurrence three times in the now two and a half months you’d been married. lack of communication was common, hence you not knowing he was going out earlier. you quit your job, finding one instead that could accommodate to nights so that you could actually see him on your off days and when you returned from work, this schedule you were still adjusting to - and it was killing you. you begrudgingly talked to his parents more in an attempt to understand his needs as a vampire, to which they let you in on the fact that jisung wasn’t the proudest to carry on the vampiric gene. with it came a lot of shame for him. he always ate in private, hunted in private, and stretched out his eating periods as long as possible. he could still consume human food, but nutrition for vampires was solely obtained by drinking blood. and as of late, you reminded him frequently of his need to eat, that it was important to him and his existence, and it was absolutely necessary. 

why’d you do this? you cared for him. you had love in your heart for him. which astounded you that you felt your heart pull at just the sight of him, especially when he looked so sad and was probably starving, because jisung didn’t do much in return. he was hard to talk to, hard to communicate with - you hadn’t a single idea of how he thought of you. did he care for you? did he long to mend your new marriage? it was a guessing game. granted, you absolutely had good days with him. happy times of smiling together, laughing together, going out, exchanging gifts, meeting his friends - but the bad times were killer. and they weighed on your heart something fierce. 

a few days had passed since your limited interaction with jisung - you’d seen him a few times in between then and now; before you went to work and after. maybe you hadn’t looked hard enough then, but now. now when you looked at him, you saw it written all over his face.

his cheeks were more sunken in, his eyes tired and droopy and rings of purple circled each eye. was he slimmer too? his wrists looked thinner than usual; and you found your heart breaking at the sight. he was sitting at his desktop, headphones on, eyes lost to the screen before him - every couple of seconds his mouse would click and you could hear cuts of music playing. 

“jisung,” you called. when he didn’t reply or look up from his screen, you called again - this time louder. “jisung.”

he looks up with raised brows, a hand coming to lift his headphone off his ear - you see the glint of his gold band in the light of his desk lamp. “did you eat today?” you soften your voice though you’re mostly exhausted, and with it came a bit of irritation. he chews on his cheek and looks back to his screen. “yeah.”

“are you lying.” you plant your hands on your hips, you notice his leg is bouncing and he pulls his sweatshirt, the one you gifted him, over his hands. “n-no.” 

you glare at him a moment more before walking out of the study. “i’m fixing you a bag.” his voice calls out behind you, “we’re out.”

you stop yourself just as you’ve made it into the living room, and walk back into the room, you lips tugged to the side as you chew on your cheek. there’s a few options laid out in front of you - and you were stupid to think you wouldn’t do any of them for him. you’re in thought for longer than you’d like to admit, jisung has resorted to toying with his somewhat dried lips as he turns back to his desktop for a moment, his headphones off now as he waits your scolding. 

but scolding doesn’t happen, no. instead, you grab an extra chair from across the room and sit down in front of him, shoving your jacket sleeve up your arm with conviction. he sees how tired you are, and hates that you’ve resorted to this for him - in fact it angers him a bit. 

you bear your bare wrist to him, looking down at your arm then once more at him. 

“drink.” 

he pushes himself out from his desk, “i don’t need your help. i can do this stuff on my own.” his voice isn’t overly angry, in reality he was a little soft for that, especially to you. he just seemed,,, tired. and it kind of killed you. 

“jisung- just do it.” you shake your arm once, he stands up, shoving his hands in his pockets. his thirst drives the red in his eyes to nearly glow - you know he hasn’t much more self-control before he inevitably gives in. he’s starving. he’s craving it. he’s on the brink of ravaging your arm for christ sakes, and you didn’t for a second doubt that power from him. you understood fully well what he was capable of, you just couldn’t see him like this any longer. 

“n-no! i’m not gonna do it. why do you care so much anyway? why are you doing this?” 

your eyes close, head tilted to the side as if he’s just struck a nerve - well, he has. and you haven’t the patience for it any longer. 

“why do i care? why do i care? i’m giving you my arm to drink from - i’m giving you my goddamn life source because i’m your wife and i don’t want you to fucking die.” you stand up, your presence itself has him taking a step back. 

“i’m doing this because i care. and i care because i fucking love you! i try so goddamn hard in this marriage, jisung. because i believe in-in,, in us!” your brows pull together, eyes glossy a bit - the rage in your heart sours into something sadder and you clench your jaw so tight you feel pressure in your teeth to keep from crying. 

he’s struck. totally. he watches you with wide eyes, watches the way your expression strikes anger than melts into something like hurt. the way your brow thaws together and glassiness shines in your eyes. he reaches a hand to you, the one that bears your ring and you take your arm from his grasp when he takes your hand. 

“i-i,,,” you sigh in defeat, still refusing the urge to cry. “i just w-wish you cared about me.” 

when he says your name it feels like it’s the first time he’s ever done so, you pace around yourself for a moment as you quell the urge to cry, running a hand through your hair. you turn, grounded in his voice as he reaches yet again for your hand - which this time you take. “i care about you so much, a-and i’m really sorry that i haven’t been showing that to you.” 

you let him hold your hand as tightly as he wants, “god i feel like such an asshole,” he chuckles, though the brim of his eyes are watery. “i didn’t think you’d want much to do with me to be honest.” you feel the shakiness in his fingers and you grasp onto his hand. “especially because i’m a… y’know…” 

“but i don’t care about that, jisung. you know i don’t. i don’t give a fuck less what you were if it meant we could just be happy.” he nods, swallowing through his tears. “i-i know and that… that’s why i love you.” he admits. 

you shake your head, “don’t just tell me that, jisung-” you look up to him with fierce, watery eyes. “i-i’m not! i would never-” he shakes his head and reaches for your other forearm. “it scares me… a lot i think. that you won’t judge me or hold that against me but that you support me.” in his grasp he brings you a bit closer, his hands now moving from grasping your own to resting on your upper arms and shoulders. “i’m really sorry that i’ve hurt you.. that’s the last thing i wanted to do. i just got really scared and didn’t… know what to do.” he briefly reaches up to smooth your hair with both of his palms before returning them to your upper arms. 

“you know what you can do when you’re scared?” you ask him, wiping your own face before settling your arms around his shoulders, your palms wrapping around the back of his neck. at the feeling of your hands, he sets his hands on your waist. “you come to me.” 

he nods, “you can come to me too, any time you want. i’ll listen to everything you have to say. and i’ll try to be better.” 

you smile, smoothing your hands down his shoulders. “now,” your fingers dig into the sleeve of your jacket, pulling it up and over your wrist. “please drink. i see how hungry you are, and it’s not good not to. you have to take care of yourself.” the thumb of your opposite hand smooths the soft skin beneath his eye, his brows press together and he softly frowns. 

his mouth waters at the sight of your skin, glowing and pulsating with a pulse that pumps your blood just beneath your skin. he parts his lips, and for a second you see the sight of his wet fangs just below his top lip. “it’s okay, i know you can stop - i don’t want you to be hungry.” 

he gets comfortable, sitting on the surface of your shared bed in the room just next to his study - his hands cradle your wrist, turning the soft flesh over to bare itself to his awaiting teeth. his eyes swim with frenzy, and per your comfort again, he leans forward and sinks his teeth into your skin. your face scrunches up at the feeling of your skin giving way to his fangs, but the feeling of his lips around the wound soothe the ache. soon he’s finished, wiping his mouth with his hand before smoothing his tongue over the wound. “my saliva will heal it over night, don’t worry.” 

“it’s okay. how are you feeling? any better?” he tugs you onto the surface of the bed, his gentle fingers grabbing a nearby bandage to delicately wrap around the bite wound. the sun was beginning to rise now, and you were tired beyond belief. “i do. thank you so much.” he smooths your hair from your head, planting a kiss to your forehead. 

“i really meant it when i said i was sorry and that i was going to try harder. i can’t imagine how stupid i looked to you, god,” he buries his face in your shoulder, shaking his head as you chuckled. “it’s okay. i didn’t mean to blow up that hard - i just… it all kept building up and i really wanted to talk to you but it never felt right.” your hand comes to rest on his head as he burrows further into you, you can imagine the burn of his cheeks and smile to yourself at the thought. 

“well, if we’re going to be married. these are things we have to talk about i guess.” his skin is cool to the touch, you shiver at the feeling. “we can talk about whatever you want too though. like what your favorite color is or why your favorite movie is your favorite movie.” 

“i like pink a lot.” he says, his cheek pressed into the pillow next to you. “why is that?” you wonder. 

“it looks best on you.” 

𝓯𝓮𝓵𝓲𝔁. ↴

oh he was beautiful. maybe not even that; maybe something greater. 

you admired him still but frequently lost yourself to the floaty thoughts in your brain - thinking fondly back to your wedding day. he was dressed in opalescent whites of different shades, the hems of his attire glittered in the evening sun - cuts of sunlight beaming fractals down through the trees to paint his face something magnificent. and his wings. your feet carried you along the forest floor, but your eyes were blown into a sweet expression you couldn’t fight. they were transparent if not for their shining and glittering design - fine lines of sunlight itself swirled and cut into fine designs on his wings - you were starstruck in his gaze. you cradled your bouquet, and though it was now your third time meeting felix in person, his worried and saddened expression turned into something peaceful when you looked at him. despite your arguments in efforts to call off your betrothal, now when facing him, you strangely felt as if everything would just work out. he exuded a kind of sweet energy, even just his smile would bring you happiness. you interlock your hands and despite the circumstance, you can’t help but smile soft while reciting your vows, your practiced eye contact now utterly natural and right. 

you’d been married to lee felix for two months and ten days - and in those days since accepting your marriage, you’d seen him only a handful of times. well, more than that, honestly, but it was easy to blur the days and times you saw him. it really only felt like you’d had a few conversations with him or shared any moments of true transparency or emotional value. he was dedicated to his job, he was. he protected the forest alongside a large force of fae people’s. regulations in the forest were strict - strong. and he took his job very seriously. he spent nearly every waking moment tangled in the trees, tending to her grasses, or playing with the forest creatures to keep the forest happy and healthy, and while you were more than proud of him of his job and his dedication, your marriage was beginning to weigh heavy on your heart. he was beginning to weigh heavy on your heart. 

your job was to nurse saplings and hybrids, you were gone from your home for severely shorter hours than felix was - and while you loved your job all the same as he did his own, you couldn’t help the want for a loving marriage despite the circumstances of it being arranged. you saw him frequently laughing in the trees and vines alongside his colleagues, happily caring for the creatures of the forest with careful and loving hands, and couldn’t help but hope that one day you’d be the one making him smile, making him laugh, and be the fairy behind his loving touch. your heart swells at the very thought - ugh what a lovey he was. pure goodness you assumed. not a bad bone in his body. you just wanted him for yourself, selfishly. 

how could your heart not blossom with feeling at the opportunity to be married to him? he was,,, he was so much. words couldn’t describe the ache of affection you yearned from him. the way he lived. it was profound in and of itself. 

your arms cradle the sleeping sapling of a mother willow, tender palms wrapped around the baby as they slept soundly. your mind snaps back to reality, your eyes fluttering to the small angel in your arms, and you smile at the sight. “precious.” you admire, putting them back into their warm pot of soil to sleep until the next morning. evening was approaching, it was time for you to leave for the day. you float to your bag, your wings carrying you seamlessly to your things as you gather them and say goodbye to your fellow caretakers, returning home to your high tree top bungalow. your home was comfortably secluded near the top of the tree canopy, neighbors somewhat closeby to still have the comfort of community but to also have a nice peaceful feeling of seclusion in your own home. the lights wrapping around your home had been dimmed, you frown at the sight, concluding felix must not be home. 

as you float to the door, softly landing on your feet, you push it open and find the lights are off and evening darkness begins to swallow your home. you sigh softly, pulling your leaf tote off your shoulder to hang it by the door. you pull clips from your hair and pad to your bedroom with your eyes focused comfortably at the floor, thinking no one was home. 

that is until you enter your bedroom to see felix standing in the open space just before your bed, lifting his button-down from his head to peak into your closet for night clothes. “oh-” you jump, clutching your chest, face warming at the sight of his bare skin on display. “you scared me, sorry.” his eyes widen for only a moment before he relaxes into a smile, “oh sorry for scaring you, i should’ve left a note for you. i came home early today.” you beam gently, pulling your earrings out to leave your jewelry in a box at your vanity. “it’s okay! i’m glad you’re home. how was today?” you turn to look at him as he speaks. 

he takes a sleep shirt from a hanger and begins slipping it on. “ah, the watering hole at the east side of the forest edge began growing fungus - so we had the court mages come down to get rid of it. other than that, it was surprisingly uneventful.” his face contorts into a kind of grimace as he struggles to fit his wings through the back of his shirt - trying desperately hard on his own to flutter them through the back only to get caught. you stand, moving to help him as your vision falls to his back - and you stand behind him to gently tug his wings through the back. “there you go, better?” you ponder with a soft worrisome look, rounding him to get a better look. he smiles and nods, “much, thank you.” 

you take a few steps back to sit at the edge of your shared bed, once again getting lost in your head as you stare at his wings. so pretty. moonlight begins to filter in through your bedroom windows and they almost seem to glow. “what’s wrong?” he asks, catching you off guard in your staring match. he’s left his shirt opens as he looks at you, his brow scrunched. “o-oh! nothing! sorry- your wings are just,, really pretty.” you chuckle, hoping to play off any tension or awkwardness. his face flushes a true shade of pink and his gaze falls to the floor, “thank you.” his low voice in gentle in the quiet. 

“but,,” he turns back, now stepping closer to you at a slower pace before he sits down in front of you. his gaze is so concerned, and he speaks as though what he has to say is hard. you match his expression, head tilting only a degree or so. “you always kind of have this expression like you’re thinking,, or that you’re getting lost in your head. do you want to talk about it?” 

your cheeks flush at his notice and you look down to your hands now folded over your lap. if now was ever the time to bring up issues than you’d have to do it. were you going to drag this process on forever? you hoped not. now was the chance.

“you’re… you’re so wonderful at what you do.” you smile again, because you can’t help but give in around felix, but it’s sadder - and he worries about what’s to come despite your compliment. “you’re so dedicated. and i love seeing you smile and laugh with everything you do. with your colleagues, when you’re caring for the creatures in the forest, or when you’re caring for the plants and trees,” you pause. your lips part because you know what to say, you know exactly what to say because it’s been the only thing you think about during the day. and you simply must say it now or else you’d dig yourself into a hiding hole and never bring it up again. “but i wish,, you cared for me in the way you cared for you job. in the way you care for the forest.” your thumb circles the band on your ring finger absentmindedly. it’s become second nature. when you look down to your hand, and see the band on your finger your eyes begin to water. oh not now, please, i was doing do good. 

“i’ve been meaning to talk to you about this, actually.” he starts. you lift your watery eyes and his expression melts, his hand coming up to wipe your tears but he stops himself in fear of crossing a line when really that’s all you wanted in the moment. “i..” he swallows and his eyes get lost in focusing on nowhere in particular in the room and that’s when you notice it. 

his thumb is playing with his wedding band, his nail tracing the metal and fumbling with it just as you did without noticing. 

your lips pull to the side as you try to keep them from trembling. “i wanted to talk to you about how we can become closer. how we can work better as a unit and build our relationship-” when the tears track down your cheeks and you look up at him, he disregards his fear and reaches out shamelessly - his pal meeting your cheek as his thumb swipes wetness from your eyes. you lean into his touch, appreciative of his warmth until it leaves you. his own eyes are a bit watery, but out of shame and guilt. “i feel,, so guilty. for making you feel that way. and i d-don’t ever want to make you feel like that again because i do care for you.” when he looks back up at you, you reach for his hand and rub his band with your thumb. “i care for you a lot.” he chuckles sadly. 

“i care for you too. and i want this to work out.” you reason, now holding his left hand with both of yours. he goes quiet for a second as he dips his head and wipes his face. at the sight your heart swells and you feel a smile over take your face. “y’know on our wedding day, i thought, ‘wow i must be the luckiest person ever to be marrying the prettiest fairy in the forest.’” you chuckle, wiping your face until he laughs through his tears. “don’t say that, i’ll cry more!” you chuckle with him and this time you wipe his face with your thumbs when he can’t get past the guilt. 

“i p-promise i’ll make it up to you. i’ll show you i care for you and that i can be a husband you deserve.” his gaze lifts with your hand as you thumb over his wet freckles, and he now grabs your hands sacredly. 

“let’s work together, yeah?” you look over his face with a more fond expression, watching every small move he makes to wipe his face and try desperately hard to keep the tears off his flustered freckled cheeks. he nods, fiercely. this was a change you already felt oncoming, and as you settled into resting for the night, you laid beside your husband - hands kept to yourself for now as shyness seemed to settle between both of your bodies. 

“i know i’ve been distant and consumed in work,, but i’ve been watching you at your job recently.” his nimble fingers pick at the surface of his pillow, pulling a stray thread from it’s place. your brows raise, a soft look of surprise graces your features as you listen. “oh?” he immediately cuts in, “not like that! i just.. wanted to see you at work but.. i didn’t know how to.. reach out.” his gaze is focused elsewhere. 

“you can come visit me at work anytime. i think you’d be excellent with the sapling babies - they’d love you.” your teeth show in a genuine smile and he can’t help but think how contagious. 

“i couldn’t really think much, except for how stunning you looked doing it.” 

you push your face into your pillow, “you can’t say things like that,, i’ll blush.” your hands cover your face, and much to your surprise, he grasps them to pull them from your red cheeks, looking at you solemnly. “it’s true. the sun was hitting you just right and you looked so pretty,, so happy.” 

he’s holding your hands again, the current if shyness feels as though he’s melted it away, and you reach out to brush a stray hair from his face, “i am happiest when with them, they bring me a lot of peace.” he beams, his wings flutter a bit behind him on the bed. 

“would you want to raise one, one day?” his eyes are wide with the question, as if a great amount of hope rests on his shoulders. 

“with you? absolutely.” 

𝓼𝓮𝓾𝓷𝓰𝓶𝓲𝓷. ↴

“there won’t be a wedding.” 

you looked up from your coffee, both of your hands wrapped around it’s now cooling porcelain. your heart drops to the lowest part of your stomach at the news, hands steadying for a better grip on your mug. every dream, every hope, all the excitement of the young you, hoping for a beautiful wedding shared with the person you loved, instantly came crashing down in a fury. you swallow, feeling the eternal dread creeping on - up your back and over your shoulders. 

“can i ask why?” you look up to your future husband, finding a kind of indifference on his face, that made your heart sink further. 

“my family has a last minute trip planned for the weekend we originally scheduled - we talked to your family and decided to cancel it.” 

“okay.” 

“i’ll make it up to you.”

for the sake of a legitimate marriage, you did stand before each other and repeat vows of no particular meaning to you - and held his hand as you walked back down the aisle in a white sundress. you slept in the same bed but didn’t know the man beside you, you said goodbye to him for his business trips but mostly thoughts of leaving consumed you while he was away (even though your family would have your head for it) you ate beside him but didn’t speak - your outlook on your marriage was bleak to say the least. 

your own job consumed you of course, the marriage was for business anyway. but you took severely less trips than seungmin did - and mostly worked from home in your office, conducting meetings, discussing sales goals and the like. 

and now, at your age, you came to realize something. that your life wasn’t lived for what you wanted to do or how you wanted to live, but instead was lived out by the expectation of how you were supposed to. who were you even really? and you didn’t have the best example - your parent’s marriage was arranged. and though your mom persevered in saying they were happy, you could easily read between the lines to see they were anything but. 

seungmin had his good moments. 

he was great at his job, very dedicated. he periodically checked in on you but it felt half-hearted. there were a few times he’d sent flowers to the house while he was away. a lot of empty promises on his part though, saying he would look forward to doing something fun when he returned home, only for his time to be taken again.  you’d bury yourself in your work if that was the only thing you could do - eyes filtering over the now dying roses on your desk. 

he was gone now on another business trip, he had been now for three days. in truth, you missed him. or maybe you missed the idea of him. the idea of what he could be to you, and what you could be together. it all felt very misty in your brain, a lot of thoughts you couldn’t dwell on for long periods of time as they stopped making sense. you’d try to sort through your feelings, categorize your thoughts, to better understand yourself - but most attempts remained fruitless. your marriage to seungmin was an enigma - with most of your free time spent alone, all you had to do was think of him. it was strange to admit you missed and longed for a man you feel like you don’t know, but your nights were spent planted on your couch, wondering when he’d return.

your days spent in your new home brought a wave of heaviness you haven’t looked in the eye in years. it was dreadful. every waking moment you fought to stay motivated with your job, but a large part of you hadn’t a single care. not for anything. after work, you’d crawl back into bed and sleep until waking, rotting away in your home. 

until seungmin came home. 

when he unlocked the door and came in with a few small bags by his side, you didn’t raise your head from your pillow, or dare to even wipe your cheeks of the tears cascading down your face - you didn’t care. you didn’t care if he saw, you didn’t care if he had something to say. you only felt the weight. 

he comes into the bedroom, and upon looking at you curled up in your shared bed, wetness glistening on your cheeks, his brows furrow. “what’s wrong?”

you shake your head, mumbling something that sounded like “it’s nothing.” 

he wasn’t taking that as an answer, not with the way his voice drew out and the way he came to sit on his side of the bed, his hands resting on his thighs. “what’s wrong?” he asks, this time a little softer; even just the way his voice sounded made you want to cry. 

you roll to your back, eyes focused nowhere in particular as you muster up something to say. your tears fall into your hairline now, for a moment you feel as though this might be worse than dying. “should we separate?” 

“like divorce? no, no we shouldn’t. what’s,, what’s going on?” he almost wants to reach out and touch you but he keeps his hands to himself for now. the news hits him with a kind of weight he wasn’t expecting; he stumbles over the words that first come to his brain, his composure slowly melting away. 

“you’re never here, seungmin.” your head lulls to the side to look at him. “i care about you a lot. i just wished you felt the same.” your voice trembles on the breath of a whisper, soon your eyes are focused elsewhere yet again - and your lips shake a bit. 

he grasps your hands, and pulls your weight up until you’re resting in his arms. his hold is light - as if he were afraid to touch you but he does anyway. your heart explodes - he holds you because he understands it’s what you need. and you realize, this is the first time he’s ever held you, and you hope to whatever greater source there is in the world, that it isn’t the last. 

“i’m sorry.” he pats your back with a gentle hand, and he feels your arms circle him lightly. “i do care for you.” 

you sit in his hold comfortably, listening to him as he periodically speaks. “i’m sorry i’m never home. the business has kept me really busy, and, to be honest, i didn’t know what to do.” 

you understand more now than ever that, it’s hard for him to speak his emotions. and while it might be awkward, it meant so much more that he was trying. his long sleeve shirt is soft against your palms, you flatten them more, pressing closer to him a bit - hoping it doesn’t make him uncomfortable, but rather it urges him to speak more on his feelings. 

“i assumed you’d be unhappy, and honestly, i wouldn’t blame you. i wanted to try to make things work.. i just didn’t know how.” 

that was, perhaps, the most words you’d heard from him - and you were beyond happy with his honesty. 

“i mean, it wasn’t like our marriage was ideal but i too want to make it work. i believe we can.”

when your bodies separate, and seungmin fumbles with his fingers that peak just past the sleeves of his shirt, you’re both swallowed in a kind of silence, one you wouldn’t label, but one that was loud. “what,, what do you want me to do? to be better?” he asks quietly. 

“just talk to me.”

“talk to you? what do you want to talk about?”

“anything.”

for the next few hours, as the moon hung high in the night sky, you sat in your bed and talked. like people did. like married people did. 

“when i was 14 i got a bone spur in my ankle from working at an amusement park.” you chuckled, seungmin laughs beside you as well. “how’d you do that?” 

“i jumped down onto a platform and i didn’t bend my knees when i landed so,” you mesh your fingers together, “crunch. y’know?” his expression changes to a grimace of sorts, “i broke my elbow playing baseball as a kid.” 

“you played baseball?” 

“i did.”

𝓳𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓲𝓷.↴

“before you are five people, you must choose a significant other to marry.” were the words spoken to jeongin - words he was expecting to hear, dreaded ones - evil even in prospect. he was raised for this moment, this was one of many he must complete in his family’s line of work. his choices were limited, but this one seemed impossible. his steps were counted, he rolls through his foot, keeps a sharp gaze so his intentions aren’t questioned, not in front of his father, and he looks between the wide-eyed looks that stare at him with hope. not hope of being chosen, no quite the opposite. 

there was only really one option -

you. 

you were beautiful, maybe not even that but something he couldn’t label or put a finger on. it stole breath from his lungs as he raised his hand without a second thought, pointing to your slightly hunched composure. 

“you.” 

it was the first words he ever spoke to you - and you wanted nothing more in that moment for them to be the last. but you knew hope cost very little in your new life. you were unsure of the price over your head for marriage to the son of the leader of the biggest crime ring in the area, but you hoped it hurt his pockets if anything. you were to be married to jeongin now, and that was your life’s purpose. you would part from your family, and move into a house suitable for newly weds, you’d forget everything you loved, everyone you loved, if it meant he was happy. 

you were wedded in a small ceremony, only surrounded by your parents and other members of the crime syndicate. your father handed you off your arm to the man that was soon to be your husband, and you took his hands with a grip too easy to slip. he grasps your hands, soon loosening his hold upon feeling your reluctance in your hands. but it isn’t reluctance in just your physical touch with him - but it’s the reluctance in your eyes. the way light doesn’t shine in them or sparkle, and you speak your vows with such shame it kills him. 

so he vowed to stay away. if it made you happy. 

but you weren’t happy. not really. 

was he? he didn’t know. 

but even from the start, he felt your sadness when you spoke to him, the light still hadn’t returned to your pretty face, well. there was one thing that made the sparkle gleam in your expression, 

painting. 

fuck you looked beautiful when you painted. lost in the color - the washes, forgetting your hands were smeared and wet and that your cuticles were crackling with paints to no wits end but you continued, and you would persevere. you’d surround yourself with happiness and feeling only translated and spoken through the mouthpiece of a canvas, and he could sit and watch you forever, just admiring the way you lost yourself in something for a moment that wasn’t your marriage. 

“what would make you happier?” he’d asked one day. 

you raised your gaze up from the marble of the extending bar of the kitchen counter, your cheek between your teeth. it was a question you weren’t ready for, one that you thought he’d never ask. “i’d like to paint more.” you answered, almost smiling a bit through the dark lines beneath your eyes. 

in truth, you could see the good in jeongin. the reluctance to follow in his father’s footsteps, the boyish, happy energy he so little exuded that you only wished to see more of. yes. in truth, jeongin was beautiful. yet he chose to show it so little. you wonder if it was fear, trauma even - but he seemed so far away, so distant. 

“okay.” it was simple. and a week later, he showed you to one of the spare bedrooms in your home - canvas’ covered the walls and a desk and stool stood in the middle of the room, an array of different paints grouped in boxes and a great big container of brushes sat on it’s surface. you could’ve cried at the sight, but instead thanked him, a number of times, and began on your next piece. 

and after that, he was gone again. all hidden behind stern expressions, his suits and ties and whispers of jobs and missions. you’d lost him again, and damn it all you were tired.

you’d been defeated since you said yes to him, no you’d been tired since you’d found out you were to be married to a stranger. and now, when you felt like things were going somewhere, he was just,, gone. you were sick, sick of feeling this way. feeling like your life had no other meaning than to be strangers, sick of him not talking or trying, just sick. 

so you pushed a blade into your first canvas. you cut through the paint, the flesh of it, cut through the hours, the focus, the mess ups and successes, and you kept going. you dragged the blade through the wooden circumference and threw it to the ground with your hair flying behind you. 

jeongin came in a moment later to hear the commotion - finding a few of your paintings destroyed, tears running down your cheeks, and your form huddled in the corner of the room with your knees pulled to your chest. you were hysterical - like your filter had diminished and your true thoughts were the only thing capable of leaving your lips. 

“i-i-! i-i just wished you cared-!” you yelled. 

he grabs your face, holding steady in both of his hands. 

and suddenly, the only thing you see is him. 

and he was there. there. with his brows pressed together, and his thumbs swiping over your cheeks soft. he was there. 

“i’m here- i’m here.” his voice steadies your heart, his presence centers your attention on him and him alone - and despite the pure rage you felt at him - he was the only person you had. and the only one you wanted. 

your breathing slows, as do your tears, and you lower your hands, letting them rest on his forearms. “you’re,, here.” you repeat as if he’d disappear. 

he nods, his thumbs smoothing over your cheeks. “that’s right. i’m right here. i’m not going anywhere, i promise.” he assures. 

he was numbly grounding - he pulled you out of your own head so quick you saw stars and felt whiplash. and now, in steadiness, you grasp his hands from your face and hold onto him tight. “b-but,, why aren’t you ever really here? why don’t you care-” you hiccup.

“because i don’t know how to be.” 

you look at him with an expression only capable of melting, and your face contorts sadly again and he tries. “j-just don’t leave. just try, please? i want this to work because it kills me.”

“i won’t leave. i won’t. and i do care. i really do, so much. i’m sorry.”

though you feel like strangers, and he still feels so far away, you stretch your arms outward and you grasp onto his waist - and in a way you weren’t expecting, he wraps his arms around you, and holds you like he’s known you for years. and maybe in some kind of way, he did. 

“i believe you but just.. can we talk? can we do fun things married people do? like go on dates and watch stupid movies?” your tears fall gently now, rounding the flesh of your cheeks in a way he thinks is so pretty, so unlike how he understood you before. but now, when you look at him, you feel like you see a man you know. one you can trust.

he nods, vigorously as he pulls you from his arms. “i want that, and i’ll try okay? i promise,” his hands grasp your own, “i promise i care. i really do.” 

you nod, now too consumed with teas to speak again, and instead you push your face into your hands and sit back on your legs between his own. he takes a moment to look around the room, finding art even in your destruction. 

“your paintings,” he frowns, standing. he picks one up, stretching his arms out to look at it. his expression is sad, genuinely sad, and it kind of surprises you to see that. 

“it’s okay.”

he looks to his right to see you, swallowed in a tainted sweatshirt, and he smiles, setting it against the wall in front of him. 

“let’s make new ones.” 

i have no concept on whether these are good or not, i've been working a lot and i'm actually sick rn but persevered through seungmin's and jeongin's. lmk what y'all think.

[deja-mew]

Ridiculous Headcanons Pt. 1

Sorry in advance y’all. Okay so I was so bored at work my brain was rotting thinking of TFP characters for so long that I have this. Here’s what I think each character’s favorite cheese would be, if either they were human at some point and tried it, or could taste a big enough chunk as cybertronians; whatever excuse needs to be for them to have any opinion about cheese. (also could just be them as cheeses… idk, I work in Wisconsin, I’m always surrounded by cheese, this is what happens.)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Autobots

Optimus Prime: Optimus liked Colby Jack. Good, classic Colby Jack. He likes the two distinctive colors and just generally enjoys the flavor.

Arcee: Pepper Jack; well loved, timeless, and packs a punch too. She likes that it’s soft but not sweet. Also, Jack being in the name is a bonus.

Bumblebee: Velveeta. The color is great and it’s a universal, famous cheese; everyone knows it (at least in the USA), just like him. He had it in a mac & cheese and stuck with it as his favorite. (he strikes me as a mac & cheese sort of guy)

Bulkhead: He’d chose brick cheese because it has a good, versatile, underrated taste. Also, just like him, this cheese is softer than its name implies <3

Wheeljack: Cheetos. He didn’t care that they “technically wont count as a cheese”, they’re cheese flavored enough and they’re what he likes. Especially the flamin’ hot ones.

Smokescreen: Cheese curds. Warm, squeaky, proper cheese curds. Specifically the ranch flavored ones are his top pick.

Ultra Magnus: This was how Ultra Magnus found out he was lactose intolerant. He didn’t like any of them, and he won’t be asked to try again.

Ratchet: Ratchet chose blue cheese, purely because the flavor was so distinctive. It’s also a very mature choice of cheese, which just made sense for him. 

Decepticons

Megatron: Monterey Jack. The warlord refused to consume any cheeses but picked Monterey Jack just because to him, it sounded like an evil version of Colby Jack.

Starscream: Cheese whiz..?? When presented with the samples he didn’t bother to try anything, but automatically went for the can of cheese whiz, as if he already knew it..??? (He did what he had to do when he was rogue. Ik it doesnt make sense but its hilarious.)

Soundwave: Mozzarella. Soundwave had already heard of cheese on the internet indirectly throughout his few years of needing to interact with human information in order to serve Megatron. Because he understood mozzarella cheese to be a monumentally important cheese to human society, he internally likened himself to it, being himself monumentally important to the Decepticon cause. No one knew that this was why he chose mozzarella, they were just glad that he responded at all. 

Shockwave: When Shockwave received the cheese samples he did not taste anything and instead just.. Left to his lab and ran some tests.. After a while he decided on feta cheese, saying that it is among the healthiest of cheeses and therefore, for nutritional purposes, is the most logical choice.

Knockout: Camembert. It’s soft and fancy and french and… He hardly tasted much it, but liked pronouncing it, and appreciated that he could spread it on a cracker instead of getting a giant chunk stuck all up in his teeth.

Breakdown: Breakdown chose Parmesan cheese because he had once seen in a movie the grater that is used at restaurants where they just keep cranking it. He said it tasted as good as it looked in the movie.

Dreadwing: Dreadwing thought that Provolone was the ideal cheese. It seemed the most sensible.

St3v3: String cheese was St3v3’s pick, even though it is technically mozzarella. For him, it was a texture thing.

Airachnid: Cazu Marzu. It’s that maggot cheese that can kill you if you eat it. It wasn’t even on the sample plate, she just brought it herself.

Predacons

Predaking: Predaking chose smoked Gouda. He did admit that the smoke added a touch of familiarity to the cheese (seeing as, of course, breathing fire exposes you to plenty of smoky smells). Overall, he thought they were all pretty good, but somehow this was the only smoked one on the plate, so he chose it.

Skylynx: Skylynx thought the aged Swiss wasn’t that bad. The bitterness was enjoyable to him, and he found it best melted.

Darksteel: Limburger. It was the most controversial cheese on the plate, and that just made him think it was the most exciting one. The smell didn’t even bother him much, and he genuinely enjoyed the flavor.

[spicybeefnoodles]

while my guitar gently weeps pt.2

a/n: i have not a single clue where this fic is going

summary: raiden tries to help kung lao

warnings: angst, ED mentions, emetophobia

Raiden was worried. Worried about the initiates and their training. Worried about Liu Kang and his lessening appearances. Worried about Kung Lao. Especially Kung Lao. It had been a few months since Raiden had found Kung Lao crying in the laundry closet, and he had changed. The monk still performed his duties, training the initiates dutifully, but his voice had a sternness to it that had never made an appearance before. His movements, usually so fluid and smooth, had become stiff and jerky, like he physically restrained himself with every single action he did. Or like he was distinctly aware of every single thing he did in front of the other mentors and the trainees.

Most times in the middle of the night, Raiden would wake up to Kung Lao rushing out of the bedroom to the bathroom connected to their room. Then it was the sound of Kung Lao retching and coughing and crying, and Raiden had gone in the first few times to hold Kung Lao’s hair back. But, every time Raiden’s fingers even brushed up against his boyfriend’s skin, he would physically flinch away and his coughing would grow worse. Eventually, Raiden stopped going to the bathroom to help and would sit outside of the bathroom listening to Kung Lao vomit all the food he had eaten for the day. He would ask the monk if everything was okay, but Kung Lao would just wave him off and mutter that he was fine before falling onto the bed and falling back asleep. Of course, Raiden followed Kung Lao around for the day, watched what he ate, made sure he didn’t consume anything that could possibly make him throw up so violently in the middle of the night every week.

Raiden almost would have preferred to have found something because then at least he could stop it physically, but there was nothing. Kung Lao threw up because his mind and body had decided to, and there was nothing Raiden could do to comfort the monk because he had started to recoil away from the champion’s touch. It was distressing to say the least.

It was especially concerning considering that Kung Lao barely finished his food anymore. He would pick and prod and poke at the food on his plate, moving it around to make it seem like he had eaten, but Raiden almost never saw food pass by the monk’s lips. Kung Lao’s figure had at first just grown more muscular-looking, every vein and bulge on show for the academy to see, but it quickly dissolved into a diminishing frame and tired sunken eyes. Raiden hadn’t noticed how thin Kung Lao had gotten until one night he woke up in the dead of the night, arms wrapped around Kung Lao’s torso while the monk slept unaware, and Raiden realized he could trace each rib through his boyfriend’s skin. Suddenly, all the champion could see was just how baggy the monk’s robes had gotten, how the sleep shirt he wore didn’t hug his figure anymore, how he could see the bone in Kung Lao’s usually soft face.

Kung Lao barely had the energy to do anything anymore, moving through the halls sluggishly and fingers stumbling with simple tasks. Raiden had to push Kung Lao to get out of bed and brush his teeth, but slowly Kung Lao stopped listening and would only get out of bed to do his duties and to use the restroom.

Drumming his fingers against the dinner table, Raiden eyed the empty seat next to him. It was the first time Kung Lao had ever skipped the meal. He never skipped a meal. He always stressed the importance of having nutrition for your body to have energy. Raiden’s heart ached with frustration and anguish: frustration because Kung Lao wouldn’t tell him what was going on and anguish because Raiden could do nothing to alleviate the monk’s pain. In the past, Kung Lao had always shared his feelings, loud and boisterous and egotistical in front of everyone, but in the quieter moments of the day, when it was just the two of them underneath the cherry blossoms and watching the night sky, he would whisper each and every secret and dream and insecurity that he had.

Raiden missed those days back when they were still just simple farmers and when the whole weight of the world didn’t rest on their shoulders. In the back of his mind, the title of champion mocked and teased him, always pushing him to train more and more, to always be vigilant, to always be prepared for the next tournament; and Raiden had started to feel the stress bury itself into his bones. His eyes always felt strained with the anxiousness of watching for any enemies, his muscles screamed at him every day no matter how much protein he ate to try and offset the pain, and even his soul felt burdened, struggling to stay aflame with the way the responsibilities blanketed him.

Perhaps Liu Kang always felt this way, the responsibilities of the universe weighing down on him heavily every moment of the day, knowing that everyone and everything counted on him and that one wrong decision could send the world into a tailspin of destruction and chaos. Even now, Raiden knew that some blamed the god for their misfortunes, and technically, Liu Kang did directly cause those problems: Baraka’s Tarkat affliction, Tomas’s dead biological family, Johnny’s unfortunate inflated ego.

At some level, Raiden understood why Liu Kang had designed things a certain way because one event had to lead to another for specific events to happen. Still, another part of Raiden blamed Liu Kang. The champion had never had any strong emotions, had been a pushover for most of his life, had been a freak for never understanding others, all because Liu Kang had designed him that way. To get rid of Raiden’s possible murderous anger, Liu Kang had also dulled the rest of his emotions as an unintended side effect.

Raiden had thought something was wrong with him for so long, why he never felt so strongly about anything. Why he had never felt inclined to excitedly cheer at competitions, why he had never felt an intense anger at the bullies at school, why he had never felt anything really. Everything was dulled, and Raiden had to learn to love Kung Lao, love the monk with his whole heart and body and soul. And yet, he would still never feel the same way that Kung Lao felt about him or the world. Would never understand the tears shed over movies or the excited laughs over a joke or how Kung Lao felt when he told Raiden ‘I love you.’ The champion felt anger and sadness and happiness because he taught himself and learned the facial expressions that indicated how people were feeling. Just so that he fit in with the rest of the world. Although his brief training at the Shirai Ryu had taught him how to use his anger as a weapon, the emotions inside him laid dormant and rarely reared their head.

Pinching his brow, Raiden brought himself back to the present, picking up his chopsticks and putting the side dishes into his bowl of rice. He ate quickly, piling food into his bowl while keeping an ear out for the trainees and making sure that their conversation didn’t veer disrespectfully. Tonight, they were quiet thankfully, and Raiden waited for all of them to finish their meals and leave for their rooms and then waited for the mentors to leave. Bowing his head slightly to the other teachers, Raiden kept his bowl in his hand and started piling food into it: some rice, some braised pork belly, some bok choy, some mapo tofu. He piled on all the foods that were Kung Lao’s favorites. It would act as a peace offering for when Raiden would try to pry Kung Lao open and get some answers.

The champion had tried before to ask why Kung Lao had started to act not like himself, but all he was ever met with was a blank stare and then a shrug and a mumble that he was okay before walking off or covering himself with the blankets. Hopefully, the monk could muster the strength to at least eat his favorite foods, and Raiden could get an answer and finally help or to at least help shoulder whatever problem Kung Lao faced.

Raiden carried the bowl back carefully, making sure that none of the food fell onto the floor. Soon enough, he reached the bedroom and slid the door open, finding the curtains drawn and Kung Lao’s frame tangled in the bedsheets. He was asleep, almost peaceful looking, but Raiden could only focus on how the monk’s skin looked sickly and pale, how he could see the outline of bones through the thin sleep shirt, and how much thinner he looked compared to a few months ago. Raiden pressed his lips together, flicking the light on in the room and startling the monk awake from his sleep.

Kung Lao groaned, only taking a second to glance at Raiden before turning his head away and burying it into the sheets to shield his eyes from the light. The champion pursed his lips and toed his shoes off, lining them up briefly at the doorway, before padding his way over to the bed and sitting down right next to Kung Lao. The monk didn’t react, keeping his head firmly turned away from Raiden.

“I brought your favorites.” Raiden gripped the bowl tighter as he waited for Kung Lao to react, pressing his lips together nervously the longer the monk laid still. Finally, Kung Lao sat up in the bed, eying the food in Raiden’s hands and reaching out his hands for the bowl. The champion let out a relieved breath and handed it over with a small smile on his face.

For a brief moment, his fingers brushed against Kung Lao’s, and the monk frowned just for a moment, taking the food quickly from Raiden’s grip and staring at it. He picked up the chopsticks, sort of pushing the food around on the top, and Raiden watched in anticipation, staring intently at Kung Lao’s lips to see if any food would pass through. The monk’s brows furrowed, and he picked up a small amount of rice, perhaps only a few grains, and it passed by his lips. That’s all Kung Lao did, picking up small amounts of rice in his chopsticks, and several minutes passed in silence before Kung Lao placed the full bowl of food down in his lap, hands clenching tightly onto the porcelain.

“What do you want? You don’t like having food in the bed.” Kung Lao stared down at the food bowl as he talked to Raiden, refusing to make eye contact with the champion.

“I was wondering what was happening with you. Please, Lao.” Raiden kept his gaze fixed on Kung Lao’s face, hoping and wishing that he would turn to face the champion. “I want to help you, but I can’t help you if you push me away.”

The monk blinked, keeping his sights focused on the food in front of him. His mouth opened before closing again, and then Kung Lao furrowed his brows and the corners of his lips turned downward. Turning away from Raiden fully, the champion could hear Kung Lao take in a deep staggered breath as if his lungs struggled to breathe correctly. And then the monk turned suddenly, eyes staring through Raiden, as if the champion wasn’t really there.

Being the closest he had ever been in weeks, Raiden could finally see how his eyes were sunken in, how the color of his irises had dulled, how sickly and gaunt he had become. The champion resisted the urge to reach up and cup Kung Lao’s face, hands clenching onto the sheets as he waited for the monk’s answer.

“I think we should break up.” Kung Lao said, and he placed the still-full bowl on the drawer next to the bed. Raiden blinked at the monk as he stood up, shirt hanging loose where it used to be skin tight, and watched as the monk started gathering his belongings from the drawers, breaths rattling in his lungs as he pulled out shirt after shirt.

He should feel hurt, angry, terrified, furious, anything. Anything would be better than the emptiness he felt in his chest, better than the lack of tears in his eyes, better than the grave of words in his mouth. Raiden sat as still as a ghost on the bed as he watched Kung Lao struggle to gather his belongings around the room and stuff it into the duffel bag he had brought when they had first moved into the White Lotus Academy together. He watched as Kung Lao zipped up the duffel bag and shoved his feet into his shoes haphazardly. He watched as Kung Lao struggled to carry the weight of the bag as he slid open the door of their bedroom. He watched Kung Lao pause just for a moment, hope swelling in Raiden’s chest that maybe the monk would return.

“Here.” Kung Lao reached up and pulled his hair out of his ponytail, tossing the hairband onto the bed that Raiden sat still on. “It was yours anyway.”

Raiden wanted to scream, to drop to his knees and beg for Kung Lao to come back. To hold Kung Lao close to him until he came back to him. To grip onto his familiar scarred hands and demand for an answer. He wanted to do so many things to make Kung Lao come back to him, but in the end, he said and did nothing as Kung Lao stepped out and closed the door without even a look back.

“Wait, no, wait, come back-” Raiden finally scrambled to his feet, but he collapsed onto the floor, legs unable to support his weight as they shook and trembled. The whole world was crushing him, weighing him down, shoving responsibility down his lungs until he couldn’t breath. Words swirled in his head and then died in his throat, clogging his flow of air, and Raiden grabbed onto his neck as he struggled to breathe. There was no Kung Lao, no Kung Lao to help burden the weight, no Kung Lao to take the dead words out of his throat and help voice them, no Kung Lao to smile at him and say that everything was going to be okay.

His vision blurred, the floor seemed to move and twist as he tried to stand back up, and his whole body felt battered, as if he had fallen from the heavens and hurtled into the earth with no safety net. Raiden could feel something hot leaking down his face and something brutal and guttural filling the room. It grated against his nerves and made the voices in his head scream and scream and scream. Pain scratched against him from every angle, hands pulling him apart and then back together again in an endless cycle of torment, and Raiden curled up, forehead pressed against the floor and arms covering up his head. His knees dug into his chest, and his body shook with the effort of blocking out the pain coming from an invisible enemy. It felt like his ears could burst, blood leaking and pooling on the floor, and Raiden couldn’t breathe as his chest shook with the effort of pulling in oxygen.

He’s not sure how long he stayed on the ground, curled up on the wooden slats, until he opened his eyes, the screams and pain having disappeared like they had never tormented the champion, and he lifted his head up to find moonlight streaming through the window. Raiden grabbed onto the bed next to him, using it to support him onto his shaky legs, and he stumbled over to the bathroom, feeling like a baby deer who was learning how to run from a wolf after just having been born.

Flicking on the lights, Raiden grimaced at the sight of him in the mirror, red-rimmed eyes and deep purple eyebags, hair pulled out of his usual neat bun and stray hairs sticking to his sweaty forehead. The champion sighed and turned on the cold water knob, letting the water pool in his cupped hands and then splashing it onto his face as if it would erase what had happened earlier. He washed his face over and over again, trying to do something, anything. Try to summon something his heart could feel rather than the emptiness in his chest. Try to summon back the pain and desperation he had felt earlier. Try to summon back his Kung Lao, the one with a warm smile and loud boisterous voice. The one who ate like there was no tomorrow, who always stressed the importance of Raiden taking breaks from training and pulled him away from his duties to go and fool around.

The sound of the rushing water soon hurt Raiden’s ears, and the champion turned the knob back off and stared back at his face in the mirror before reaching his trembling hand to the brush on the sink. He took his hair out of the bun, concentrating on the task of brushing out his long hair, how the black strands fell down in waves, how to untangle several knots that had formed, how the comb felt going through the thick shiny black hair. Raiden put down the brush, listening to the soft clink of it onto the porcelain sink, and picked up his toothbrush and put some toothpaste onto the bristles and brought it up to his mouth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Spit, rinse, clean. Raiden flicked off the lights to the bathroom and walked over to the bedroom, throwing his clothes into the hamper and pulling on his pajamas. He drew the blankets over himself and took a deep breath.

He could still smell Kung Lao on the sheets. Raiden turned his head to the side to try and escape the familiar scent only to be met with a picture of him and Kung Lao that Johnny Cage had taken and that Kung Lao had insisted on printing out and framing. The champion reached out his hand and turned the photo face down and stared at the wall, still encased in the scent of Kung Lao.

Something wet stained his face, his throat felt like it had closed up, his eyes stung with acid. Raiden reached his hand up and touched his cheek, pulling it away to find water on the tips of his fingers. Perhaps it was a blessing that Lord Liu Kang had repressed his emotions. Whatever this was, it hurt so much more than the constant muffle in his chest.

[yorutsuki]

「 ✦ Isekaied Reversed Pt. 5 ✦ 」

↳ Your nutritions had slowly decreased overtime, thus you needed to head out for a grocery trip! Surprisingly, you ran into a cat and, unfortunately, as well as trouble.

Tags:

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It's been approximately 46 days since Xiao made his arrival out of nowhere.

Over the course of the days—weeks, the two of you slowly bonded as time flowed, albeit it was rough the first few weeks, your relationship with him gradually blossomed.

Comparing since a few weeks ago, you've gotten to the point where he could be comfortable enough around you to let his guard down for a while—even better that he didn't draw out his spear with every corner he turned.

In all, you guys were mutuals at best—which was quite progress in your book.

.

"You have to be shitting me."

Xiao's eyes glanced over to you, his brow raised.

You sighed, closing the fridge. "We're out ingredients."

You walked over towards your bag, picking up your wallet which thankfully had money—around a rough $50. Unfortunately, that would mean you'd have to save up once again.

Xiao took notice if your downed mood, before squinting his eyes, trying to get a glimpse of the problem.

You felt a feeling of eyes watching you. Looking over towards the origin of the feeling, you saw Xiao looking towards you, well, the wallet. Seeing he got caught, he quickly averted his gaze like nothing happened.

You eternally chuckled at his shy actions, before your midn reminded you of your problem.

"Well, Xiao. Looks like we're running out of stuff." You huffed with a grimace before starting to put on your shoes. "I'll be back in uhh..20-30 minutes tops."

Xiao looked towards you before giving a slight nod.

Making your ways to the door, you grabbed your keys, phone, earbuds and wallet before turning the doorknob though swiftly turned around, "right! Do you need anything while i'm out?" You asked the yaksha who shook his head. "Don't spend your money on me, or unnecessary things in general." He sighed. You frowned.

You couldn't tell if that was worded weird or if he really did see himself as unnecessary. Nonetheless, you pushed those thoughts away before giving him a thumbs up but closing the door behind you.

You thought for a minute, looking between your wallet and the door.

'am I listening to that? Hell nah.' You grinned before heading towards your apartment elevator.

.....

Making your way down to Safeway, you yelped and tensed up as you felt something furry brush against your leg.

Quickly looking down, your muscles relaxed when finding out it was only a cat and quite a cute one too.

It was a Edgyptian Mau. It's fur was black with some gray and white spots around it's body. Though it's eyes were the most captivating—they looked like a vibrant sunset.

You were quite surprised that an Egyptian Mau was around this area but decided not to look to deep into it. It was probably someone's pet who ran off and ended up in this dump. Though, that wouldn't stop you from giving it a little pet.

"Aren't you a cutie~" You smiled with awe, kneeling down towards the cat to which the animal slightly staggered back. It calmed down though as you put your hand in front of you, letting it sniff it before melting into your hand as you lightly scratched it's jaw.

"Man, I wish I could take you home.." You whined lightly before sighing as you stood up, the cat letting out a needy call, looking up towards you for more scratches.

"Sorry buddy, I gotta get some things from the market." You cried internally as you looked down at the furry creature. Your heart breaking at seeing it's sad face.

Persevering, you looked away, a single tear falling down as you began to walk away, trying your best to ignore the meows of need.

....

"Tofu...tofu.." You mumbled, trying to recall what isle the food was. Unfortunately, while lost in your train of thought, you felt someone harshly bump into you, causing you to snap back to reality.

The person merely grunted with a harsh, 'watch where your standing' which received just as harsh of a glare from your end.

"Idiot." You muttered before going back to your task.

...

Finally after you payed, you left the store, two bags of groceries-one in each hand.

As you exited the store, you subconsciously scanned the 'lot for the black splotched cat.

Your slightly frowned upon not seeing it anywhere. 'Probably ran back to it's owner.' you shook your head, continuing your way home.

As you walked along the street, you heard small paws running a bit behind you along with desperate calls.

Turning around, you saw the cat once more, only it looked rougher—like it had just came out from a low-grade shelter.

You dropped your bags as it clawed onto your legs, meowing. You slightly hissed at the stinging sensation from the new marks as you picked it up—it trying to hide up onto your shoulder.

"Poor baby, what happene-" Your words were cut short when you suddenly heard shouting. "Give the damn cat back!"

Looking ahead, you saw the same man from the store, holding a...bat?

You had a feeling where this was going so, picking up your bags quickly, you made a run for it as the shouting behind you grew louder.

'fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck!' You screamed mentally, your legs and arms growing tired with each push but you didn't dare stop. That man seemed restless and merciless, plus, he was right behind your trail.

Unfortunately, you were hit in the shoulder by something hard. Your body giving up as you hit the hard concrete with a thud- the cat standing by you with it's hairs sticking up as it hissed with aggression and fear.

You saw the man try reaching for the cat, though you intervened, by grabbing his hand and biting as hard as you could. The man grunted loudly as you heard a crack and suddenly tasted metal in your mouth.

You grimaced at the metalic taste and gagged a bit.

"You bitch!" He shouted at you before kicking you in the ribs, in return you let out a winded yelp.

As the man saw your stunned state, he went for the black Mau, grabbing it by the back of the neck. Though fortunately, the cat retaliated by scratching the man's hand though led it to be thrown harshly aside. "Fuckin' creature, i'll deal with your shit later." He hissed before turning to you.

You tried getting up only to be hit back down with the same back that knocked you in the first place. "Thats!-" He hit your shoulder, "-for stealing what's mine!" He shouted before he went to strike you at your head, though thankfully you blocked it in time with your arms—feeling a pounding sensation within them.

Suddenly, you looked to the side, finding a very convienent brick. As the manw as distracted, you picked it up and rammed it into the side of the man's ankle.

He shouted curses of pain, giving you a brief break. Unfortunately, it didn't last long before he shouted, going for your head as well as taking a few breaks to kick you around.

Your eyes were teary, feeling bruises forming already. You felt weak and heavy-your body betraying your mind as you screamed it to get up—to do something than lie on the floor helplessly.

"Y'know this wouldn't happened if you just handed us the damn critter. The only person ya' can call for now, tis' God." He snicked, enjoying the sight in front of him.

But something clicked in your brain, and hopefully it worked.

"Xiao!"

The man watched in amusement as you called out a name. "Saying your final goodbyes?" He laughed huskly, but you only gave a grin, "Not quite." You smiled weakly. He stared confused at you but grinned, looking down at your pathetic form.

Suddenly, his view of you was blocked by something, well someone.

Looking up, he was met by a familiar yaksha, his spear centimeters away from his head. He only grinned with amusement once more. "What is this? Some type of costume party?" He laughed though it came to a brief halt and replaced with a winding grunt as he was kicked backwards a few feet on the street.

The man shouted slurs and insults towards the masked yaksha who only replied with silence.

The man's anger grew with each second as he stood from the ground, bat in hands before trying to strike the boy. Unfortunately for him, he was no match for a yaksha. All his strikes were dodged and returned with precision, sharp, powerful and agile blows from the back of the boy's polearm.

Ultimately, near in the end, the man ended on his rear, looking at the immortal in fear before he scurried to get away, embarrassingly. "Keep the damn cat then!"

The yaksha glared at the retreating figure before turning towards you, his mask disappearing onto his belt.

As he helped you get to your feet and wrapped your arm around his neck for support. You saw a glint of concern in his eyes, making your lips curl into a small smile. "Thanks for that back there." You grinned but faltered as you grunted, making Xiao's concern grow.

"Is anything broken?" He asked, his voice stern as ever.

You shook your head, "I don't believe so, just a few-" you were cut with a wave of pain electrocuting you. "-I take that back, a lot of bruising." You chuckled as the adeptus sighed.

Your brows furrowed in worry, glancing back to the animal on the ground. Xiao's gaze followed yours as his expression hardened.

He sighed, knowing where this was going.

.....

Over the course of a few days, you recovered quickly though on the second day, your whole body ached and you ultimately stayed in bed for 24 hours.

As for the cat, he recovered quite quickly as well—almost too quick. It was like a miracle with everything his body took. Though during the few days of resting and even after, it appeared that the cat took a major liking to the adeptus.

As the adeptus would bring you water or check up on you every once in a while, (though albeit when your not noticing cause he's like that 💀), the cat would be at his side, looking towards you then up to him in worry.

Sometimes he'd be laying next to you but ultimately stayed with Xiao most of thetime.

By day 4, you felt as good as new—a few bruises left but they were like small pebbles in the road.

....

You huffed in defeat as the cat curled up to Xiao's lap.

'wasn't I the one who risked my life for you?' You groaned in annoyance, but it quickly disappeared when seeing the calm expression Xiao carried. If you looked closely, you could see a very faint smile.

You smiled at the sight. "So...what do you think we should name him?"

Xiao snapped from his small trance, "why do we need to keep him?" He asked. Your brows furrowed, "I don't want him to be abandoned. I don't think he has a owner and..I don't want that guy to come after him again." You spoke softly, before smiling, "Plus, I think he really likes you."

Xiao's brows furrowed before he sighed, mumbling something.

You looked up to him, cocking a brow—curious to what he said. "What was that?"

"Qíji. His name." He muttered, looking away towards the ground.

You looked at the yaksha in slight surprise before mumbling the name. "Qíji.." You smiled before looking at the peacefully sleeping fur boy, "well then, welcome home Qíji."

Well look at that, looks like you did get Xiao something after all.

.

.

.

A/N: THAT WAS A LONG WRITE-, I tried making it as least as cliché as I could 😭. But yep, here's part 4, by what part do you guys think Xiao and Reader will end up together??? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Also, feel free to write comments! I love reading them and they keep me motivated! :D

[auspicioustidings]

Hello, I'm not sure if you're taking requests for COD headcannons, but I would like to know if you can do headcannons for 141 x reader and/or Kortac x reader (which ever you prefer) in which the solider/medic reader has a major sweet tooth. Like the reader is seen almost always having something to snack on, having to ask the reader if they can have some, and a couple of members finds out that they have a hidden stash of various types of candy, cakes and any sweet there is.

I hope this make sense, and you can any other aspects that comes to mind. Thank you for reading and it's alright if you're unable to do these headcannons.

Have a great day and I luv your work! <3

I have never had anyone ask before but I can certainly give it a bash!

Price

Treats you the exact same way he treats the K-9 team meaning he has at least once been dragged into an office to get an absolute bollicking for feeding you too many treats

To him the job basically ruins any chance at a good life so anyone choosing to do it should be allowed anything that makes them happy and doesn't affect their ability to work

He has his cigars, you have your sweets and he about died laughing when you whipped out a chocolate cigar so you could "smoke with him"

Ghost

Doesn't really notice because he's not super into sweets until Johnny starts whining at him because you keep hiding your stash

He uses this as a training opportunity because his men shouldn't be getting outfoxed by a medic with an affinity for sweets

Eventually you cut a deal with him and he gets Johnny off your back in exchange for helping him hook up with one of the IT people (it's a total mess in the end because the IT person is into you, you are trying to get them to sleep with Ghost and Ghost made you promise - he absolutely did it on purpose and takes great joy in watching the whole debacle)

Soap

Finds out immediately and found it cute at the start because you were always so happy when he'd give you little sweets

Finds it less cute when everyone else starts giving you sweets because he is both jealous and competitive, so he's out to find your stash and wreck it so his gifts reign supreme

Winds up going into an absolute spiral when one of the other medics brings fucking home made brownies into work and proceeds to spend a ridiculous amount of money and time doing an intensive bakery course on leave

Still sucks at it because he just doesn't enjoy following instructions so instead begs Ghost to bake things that he then passes off as his own (Ghost of course delighted because my my Johnny, what are you willing to do for me in exchange?)

Gaz

Has been your PT since basic, is well aware of your habits and has been trying to curb them for years

Like it's fine you are eating sweets ONLY IF you are meeting your protein goals and not going wildly overboard so he isn't inclined to stop you unless he sees you are starting to eat way too much

Once a week the last ten minutes of your gym sesh are spent trying some healthier substitutes to see what ones you enjoy and could start subbing in and which just won't cut it

Kortac

In general when you are working on their base Kortac are strict with you. Konig takes nutrition pretty seriously so he expects that when people are on base they are eating well. The rest are used to all eating the same meals and sticking to the snacks stocked in the mess while they are on base so they only tease you when you complain.

Los Vaqueros

Absolute riot, they love feeding you. Rudy's grandma is constantly sending home made desserts. Alejandro hand feeds you. It's like when you are babysitting and just give a kid sweets because it won't be your problem in an hour. No issue to them sending you back to the 141 all hyper.

Ghost Team

All out war. Everyone is stealing one another's sweets, alliances live and die on a single bar of chocolate. Game of Thrones could never hope to match the levels of bitter political manoeuvring.

[annaizscribbling]

In Which the Farmer is a Cryptid (pt 5) Harvey

(start at pt 1 here)

Harvey’s mustache twitched. He was standing over the sleeping farmer, carefully tucked into white sheets on a hospital bed. She looked paler against the sterile room, like the sun was being sucked from her skin. He didn’t like having to see her like this—frail, sickly, injured. She never so much as stirred whenever she slept. It only added to the deathly aura around her.

He sighed and leaned into the bed behind him, taking off his glasses to massage the spot between his eyes. The farmer really did a number on his poor nerves. She seemed to think she was invincible, like every fiber of her being was convinced that death would never be an option. Harvey tries to tell her to be careful, to slow down, to not go so deep, not travel so far. It’s difficult to navigate the patient/doctor relationship when she’s also his friend. He worries about her. She does not seem to pay that any mind.

One desperate part of him wants to scream (and possibly cry) that she absolutely should never do anymore exploring. No more mining. No more monster hunting and solo quests. Harvey can’t even pretend to understand just how much she does, how far below the earth she has delved or how much that adventurer’s guild has pushed her into doing. He knows it’s more than anyone will admit to.

But he knows she’s an adult, and as a medical professional, his only right is to advise. He can’t force her to change her lifestyle, no matter how dangerous of one she had. As her friend though, he’s routinely fighting the urge to beg her to stop. He wants to do something he shouldn’t, like conspire with her husband to put an end to her injuries, find a way to seal her from the mines, talk with the mayor to get her banned. Something. Anything.

Though something stops him. Common sense of course, warns Harvey against trying to force her to change her life, but something else does to. He’d never admit it, even to himself, but she’s built for such reckless days. She heals so quickly, scars fade, and wounds close faster than they should. Her nutrition levels are always … perfect. Never deficient in vitamins. Her blood tests always come back unusually healthy. Her husband has expressed some concern that she’ll go days eating the same nutrition-less algae soup, but her results always say otherwise. The farmer usually has that strange youthful glow, like her body really was at his best. No matter what, she’s healthy. Always healthy, save when somebody drags her to his clinic half dead and bleeding profusely, of course.

That night, at the delightful hour of 2:30AM, Robin knocked on his door, hefting up the farmer in her arms. If he hadn’t immediately begun preoccupied treating the injured farmer, he would have been surprised at how strong Robin was. Carpentry, he supposed, built more muscles than model plans and stethoscopes.

The farmer had been beat to a pulp, by what? He did not know. Long deep scratches, bite marks, freezing cold patches, slime, blood, dust, her skin told a story he did not wish to hear. It took time to disinfect and clean the injured skin. He had to cut away her ripped up clothes, which were a laughable defense against whatever she had encountered below the surface of the earth. A half dozen emeralds rolled out of her pocket and tumbled to the floor. Harvey ignored it in favor of searching for broken ribs. That damn massive eyeliner wing of hers was still intact and had to be washed away before he could tend to the cut on her temple. Her hair was still strangely clean, and he did not find any sweat on her person, only blood. Though only half the blood was hers, it seemed.

Two different wounds required deep pressure to halt the bleeding. She was half mummified in bandages by the time he was finished. He wished this wasn’t the first time he’d have to do this for her. At this point, Harvey had made a small fortune patching her up. It was not something he was overly happy about. Scolding her did not seem to have any effect. He sometimes received an apology, but only for upsetting him. She did not seem to like upsetting him, but her desire to mine and work herself to the bone seemed a greater motivator.

Robin had already offered to call Sebastian, so Harvey could focus on the farmer. He was probably almost to the clinic. Now that his work was done for the moment, he could take a second to collect himself before he arrived. It would be best if they were not both panicked.

He looked back at her, each breath small and almost robotic. She was a puzzle, that was for certain. He loved the farmer. They all did. Nobody could care like she could. Nobody could do most things like she could. She was incredible. She was an enigma.

Harvey sighs to himself. His eyes trail to the bin of bloodied rags he’d been using to clean her up. He would dispose of them properly, of course. Though for the moment, he just couldn’t look away, wondering how she could bear to go through so much pain, time and time again.

The first few times this happened, Harvey took it as a grave reminder that even she was human. The perfect lonely farmer girl herself was only flesh and bone. Are they not the same? No matter how collected and mysterious she had seemed, she still bleeds like the rest of them.

Now he’s not so sure.

A mouse bleeds just like a wolf.

Harvey is pulled from his thoughts when he hears the front door open loudly and slam with a rattle. He collects himself and rushes out, paying no mind to his bloodied lab coat.

“Harvey?” Sebastian says hoarsely, eyes darting around frantically. He’s a mess, still in pajama bottoms and a hoodie thrown over top. His hair is frazzled and he’s wearing two different sandals. Robin is standing beside him, one hand gently on his forearm.

“Hello, Sebastian, why don’t you come in? Come see her. She’s alright, just asleep,” Harvey says softly, holding open the door for him.

Robin gives her tall son’s arm a squeeze. Her own clothing has a blood splatter on it. She looked calm in the face of it. “You call me first thing tomorrow morning and let me know how she is, Sebby, please?”

He nods and wordlessly and distractedly pats her shoulder before moving past her. He’s agitatedly biting his bottom lip, chewing on chapped skin. He shoves his shaky hands in his pockets.

As soon as Harvey opens the door, Sebastian rushes to her side, checking her over and seeming to count each bandage and scrape. He takes her tanned hand in his own pale one, running his long fingers over each of her knuckles. He looked relieved, in spite of her state.

“She’ll be alright, but she has to take it easy for at least a few weeks,” Harvey said firmly, “change her bandages every day, keep the wounds clean, and for Yoba’s sake, please keep her out of those mines until she heals at least.”

Sebastian smiled wryly. “I’ll try my best, Doc, but you know how she is.”

“I am imploring you, Sebastian. She can’t keep going like this.”

“Has she been struggling to recover? Or seeing long term damage I should know about?” Sebastian asked, his gravelly voice still soft and almost humorful. It was weird.

“Well. Er. No,” Harvey admitted awkwardly, “but it’s common logic. This isn’t good for her.”

“I’ll ask her to take a break,” Sebastian said, having never let go of her hand, “Because believe me, I’m pissed. I told her to take an extra Muscle Remedy and she forgot, then she didn’t head home at 11:00, which is not part of our deal, but let’s be honest. She’ll be back the moment somebody asks her for some topaz or some shit.”

“She has to stop, for her own wellbeing,” Harvey said quietly, keeping at bay his frustration and worry.

“Can you stop the sun from coming up in the morning, Doc?” Sebastian asked lightly, eyebrows raised.

Harvey was not amused by that.

“She’s not like us,” Sebastian said, smiling at her sleeping face, “you said it yourself. No long term damage. Perfect health. We’ve been married for just two years now, and I have learned that my job isn’t to stop her. It’s impossible. So now, I leave the impossible to her, because she’s pretty damn good at it.”

Harvey paused, before sighing and cupping his own face in his hands. “I’m going to start billing you extra for my nerves.”

“Understandable.”

[the-moon-devi]

🍨What flavor Cookie are you based on the BAKER ASTEROID? PT.1 🍡

🧁🧁BAKER ASTEROID◇◇ 《2549》🧁🧁

🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰

DESCRIPTION: The baker asteroid is said to be the bakers asteroid for things like cookies and baked goods and even bakers. However in this post I'll be focusing more so on cookies.

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Baker in aries/1st house: a very fast baker, your baked food could taste hot/spicy or maybe very health yall are the type to bake ginger spiced cookies or something like that if that exists. Maybe even Nutritional baked foods. If in the 1st house this could actually be what your known for!

Cookie: spicy Chai molasses cookies / Gingerbread

https://pin.it/6K3b4Pd: gingerbread

Baker in Taurus/ 2nd house: your baking is very good and warming to the senses. I feel like people really feel comfort and secure with your baking. This placement wouldn't be the type to try anything too risky when it comes to baking. Baker in the 2nd could make you spend alot of money on baked goods/ maybe even earn $ through baking. Yall baking could be very beautiful and pleasing to the eyes as well. Yall like sweet and soft but flavorful

Cookie: rich&gooey Butter pecan chocolate chip cookies/ oatmeal cream pies 《 ik ik it's not a cookie well kindaaaaaa🤔🤭》

Baker in Gemini/ 3rd house: I feel like if you have this placement you have potential to be a great baker I think there's a lot of versatility in your baking. If your not a baker then you could have siblings who can bake. You could talk about baking or teach people how to bake even create baking recipes and stuff like that maybe even a baking blog. (ESPECIALLY 3rd house people) I feel like yall might might be a little picky or you just like a lot of different flavors or you don't mind putting in something different in your baked foods.

Cookie: Neapolitan Cookie/ lemon crinkle cookies

Baker in Cancer/4th house: baker here yall goodddddd. Like mama's famous poundcake type good. Of course depending on the aspects. But yall like cooking for your kids/ loved ones. You guys definitely would be the type to either make recipes for future generations or follow recipes from your ancestral lineage. You could also come from a line of women who bake really well. Yall baking is sweet,soft,moist. ***"It's like a reward 😇🤤" *** do yall know that tik tok sound that's going around saying that? Anyways if this is aspect by your 10th house ruler or by planets in the 10th house/Mc you could easily be a professional baker. Once you become a mother your baking could get better or you might bake more (ik wierd I just channeled that, take it or leave it)

Cookie: chocolate chips ofc this is the original/ biscoff cookie butter cookies

Baker in Leo/5th house: possibility of being famous for your baking. Your baking could look very appealing to the eye or it just stands out. Baking could be a way of expressing yourself it could even be a hobby. I feel like yall baking taste very flavorful that's all I can say but I know it's good. You may have learned how to bake at a young age. Cooking could be a creative outlet. Your child could be a great baker.

Cookie: lemon cheesecake cookie

Baker in virgo/ 6th: virgoss yall the type to cookie healthy cookies or raw vegan cookies stuff like that. I feel like y'all would do diary free/ cleaner options when baking <<This could even go for Pisces>> this could be your occupation or your co-workers may know how to bake very well. Since Virgo is mercury ruled you could be very analytical about what you cook. Baking may be a stress reliever or apart of your daily routine. Definitely gluten free sugar free diary free perservative free placement for baking. Yall Could bake for the homeless or less fortunate.

Cookie: matcha sugar cookie/date cookies

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𝓓𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓓𝓮'𝓛𝓾𝔁𝔁𝓮 (masterlist)

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©𝓟𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓽𝔂 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓵

[kazoohaa]

More dorm leader monthly meet up headcanons. I love them

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐔𝐏𝐒. dorm leaders

— notes. more chaos with the housewardens !! (sorry this was very late !) you can find part one and two here :]

— details. riddle rosehearts, leona kingscholar, azul ashengrotto, kalim al-asim, vil schoenheit, idia shroud & malleus draconia as a chaotic friend group headcanons, pt 3.

so imagine this. hide and seek, capture the flag, or another similar game. except it’s high-stakes, and magic is sprinkled into it. and it’s played in the dead of night at whichever dorm they’re staying at this time, to add to the scare-factor.

because wouldn’t it be fun to do a modified, magical game of something like hide and seek in a dimly lit dorm while trying to stay as quiet as possible to not alert its members?

this game’s only hosted occasionally, because leona’s often snoozing by then, vil’s quite adamant on getting his beauty sleep, and riddle’s also particular about how many broken rules he’d let slide.

the hide and seek game is pretty extreme, nobody remains in one place and they’re constantly moving around while trying to sabotage the other players

honestly, it’s like beans day, but magic’s allowed and they don’t get too fiercely competitive. and they also have to make sure that nobody gets woken up while they’re at it

(but really, they aren’t fooling anyone. it’s very hard to stay asleep when you can hear housewarden idia screeching in shock when he gets found.)

in heartslabyul, the game ended up mostly spent in the winding paths of the rose maze. in savanaclaw, everyone had to get creative due to the more open area and less places that offered a good hiding spot. in octavinelle, the underwater theme was a nice addition. mostro lounge was a suitable place to hide, but azul always requires repayment if anything’s destroyed there. in scarabia, kalim would often whip out the magic carpet to get around quicker and zoom around the place. in pomefiore, it’s easier to find places to hide due to its many rooms and decorations, but nobody was above scaling the walls and hiding somewhere above the building too. in ignihyde, oh boy. idia adds hologram projectors for momentary ‘illusions’ to mess with people, or playing some sounds on in-built speakers to divert attention. diasomnia’s one of the best places, though, due to its gloomy ancient castle vibe.

other than those games, sometimes there isn’t much time for such entertainment and they all have to actually study — riddle and azul gladly assist the others and give study tips, idia helps handle the research, leona and malleus offer their insight and help with more of the practical parts, kalim keeps the vibe comfortable and happy, and vil makes sure that nobody’s pushing themselves too much and that they get ample breaks in-between. they must maintain a good balance on study and personal health!

ooh and the food they get at each dorm too

there’s always some spare tarts over at heartslabyul, and riddle sometimes tries his hand at making desserts (occasionally with trey’s assistance), so there’s lots of sweets and tea there. vil absolutely can’t stand for an unbalanced diet, though, so he always brings healthy foods too that they eat after the sweets.

leona doesn’t cook much, so it’s usually left to ruggie to offer some food for the other dorm leaders. and his cooking’s pretty good!

in octavinelle, they have a whole full-course meal. azul’s mother didn’t have a restaurant for nothing! azul learned a lot from her, and it shows in his cooking, too. truly restaurant-worthy. he’s also very mindful about the healthy balances in food, so there wasn’t much need to worry about it. and it still stays absolutely delicious no matter what!

scarabia also offers a feast, which jamil cooks because he absolutely cannot trust kalim in the kitchen. like azul, jamil also keeps the food a good nutritional balance while making it taste amazing, but it’s just the sheer amount of food offered which has everyone stumped... kalim always asks for an amount that’s more suited for a whole celebration, so the rest of scarabia often cooks some dishes and eats with them, too.

pomefiore’s the strictest with the food, naturally, because of vil’s standards. he isn’t nearly as strict as he was with the vdc performance group, but it’s still very obvious that he’s picky about things.

ignihyde... the best idia can offer are a multitude of flavours of cup noodles. everyone facepalms, and makes a mental note to bring better food with them while also admonishing idia about his eating habits.

lilia’s food is avoided at all costs at diasomnia. it’s a bit difficult, because he always gets so enthusiastic when he learns that the housewardens would be staying at their dorm this time, and he immediately heads to the kitchen to prepare some food for the occasion... which everyone quickly tries to ease him out of.

[umlewis]

Every Traveler Needs to Try Lewis Hamilton's Hotel Hacks [part 1/2]

The F1 driver has mastered the art of resetting his body clock and getting comfortable on the road.

Lewis Hamilton first stepped into the Mercedes-AMG Petronas car over a decade ago. Before his signing, Mercedes was struggling to produce as a team, but with the young, cunning Brit behind the wheel, things changed. Since then, Hamilton has scored the record for most wins, pole finishes, and podium finishes in the most competitive motorsport in the world. No matter how gifted the athlete, leading the pack like that doesn’t come solely through natural ability, and the driver has found a formula for success that follows him across the globe. Men’s Journal spoke with Hamilton on how he prepares to drive circuits he’s never seen before at speeds over 200 miles per hour, his favorite cross-training activities, and the travel routines that keep him at the front of the pack.

Men's Journal: F1 Las Vegas Grand Prix has a start time of 10p.m. PT. How are you prepping for a night race—any hacks? Lewis Hamilton: Preparing to drive a new track means as much simulation work as possible to get a feel for the course. I have two full days that I’ll do in the sim before I land in Vegas. It’s important to adjust your internal clock, so before we get to Nevada, the team is spending some time in Los Angeles. I’m already adjusting my mornings to waking up and going to bed later to fit with the schedule of a night race. I’m also making sure my meals and nutrition intake fits the new schedule. The key is adjusting the light I’m taking in—using different bulbs with different brightness so I can maintain a good circadian rhythm. Since we travel so much, I always make sure the rooms we’re staying in have blackout curtains so I can get a deep sleep at any hour. I like to keep the room cool, which makes the bed more welcome. The bed itself is also crucial, I like a firm pillow because I like to sleep on my side. The ones I have at home are Tempur-Pedic. Do you struggle with sleep? I’ve never been a great sleeper. For years I would go to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning and sleep for about five hours. But, to be honest, that worked for me, because our days are leading up to the the main event, which is later in the afternoon. So if I wake up at 5 in the morning, I’m probably peaking a lot earlier in the day than if I wake up at 8. So I’m sticking with waking up later, though these days I’m trying to get more like seven hours of sleep a night. The Mercedes Benz team has a partnership with Marriott Bonvoy and The Ritz-Carlton, which seems like a smart one given how much you travel. How do you make a hotel feel like a home away from home? One of the most important amenities is a coffee machine in the room, because I like to have coffee when I wake up on race day or any day for that matter. I love to play music, it calms me so I’ll have my music equipment in the room as well. I have a keyboard that folds in half so it’s easier to travel with. I really want that hotel space to feel like home. The Marriott team takes that to another level, and sometimes they’ll even have a picture of my dog, Roscoe, on the nightstand. It’s also about what I have them take out of the room. I have them take out all the snacks and anything from the minibar, because when you're working strange hours your body can crave comfort. The easiest way to get that is from food, so I want to eliminate any temptation I might have to deal with later. Instead, I’ll make sure the fridge is filled with healthy snacks like fruit. What’s the most challenging part about being a Formula 1 driver? The Formula 1 season is very challenging for all the drivers. We're going to 24 different countries, maybe more throughout the year, sitting in planes all the time. Rest and recovery is a huge part of making sure we're on point when it comes to showing up to the races ready. There's an immense amount of travel involved. My mindset is greatly benefitted by meditation, so I try to prioritize it. I don’t always get to, and I can feel the difference, but the schedule can get very hectic. I always do better when I can put that focus into my mental game. I like to start my day with positive affirmations, no matter what state I’m in, and focus on the things I want to do. That’s where things like playing music comes in handy. Competing has become very serious business, and we work hard, perhaps too hard. There’s immense benefit to smiling to the body and mind. Exercise is also a great way to help me stay sharp, on top of being critical to succeeding in motorsports.

[isseninstitute]

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[hoperays-song]

Analysis of Johnny's Character Design Pt.1

CW: Discussion of malnutrition, poverty, and childhood hunger

So, one of the first things that you notice about Johnny in terms of character design is how small he is. This is incredibly noticeable in Sing 1 when you compare him to his family, with him barely reaching his dad's shoulder when standing flat on the ground.

However, while that could be dismissed as Marcus being older, we do see Johnny around gorillas who are implied to be close to his age in Sing 2. And he is still noticeable shorter than them.

Now, most people's first thought would be that Johnny might be a different subspecies of gorilla. After all, those all have different height and weight ranges. But, we actually can't use this line of logic here as Johnny has been called a Mountain Gorilla. Which is the second largest gorilla subspecies in the world. And the least endangered gorilla subspecies are smaller than Mountain gorillas. Meaning that yeah, he should be much bigger than he actually is.

So why isn't he? Well, as I discussed in my analysis of the gang and why they likely turned to crime, Johnny and his dad would likely be below the poverty line, even with money from their crimes. Meaning that they would not have money laying around to cover their expenses in the slightest. And one of those expenses would be food.

There isn't a ton of research in malnourishment of gorillas that I found readily available online (which I think is probably a good thing since that means its not that common in nature so yay), so I will just be using the common indicators from humans and other great ape species.

Some of these indicators however, are blatantly obvious on Johnny once you know what to look for.

Hair Thickness and Shine

The first thing that is an indicator that Johnny is malnourished is his hair (yes, Gorillas have hair, not fur). Hair is actually used a fair bit by people in healthcare as a way to se what the potential health problems a patient is facing. Common things that can be diagnosed with hair as a symptom are things like anemia and thyroid issues. However, as your hair is very dependant on your health (think about those multivitamins that help your hair as well as other parts of your body), it is a way to see malnutrition.

When you are malnourished, your hair becomes brittle/course, thin, and dull. It loses pigmentation as well. It also tends to fall out, with hair loss being a huge indicator. And while we never see Johnny actively losing hair in the movie, we see the rest of the indicators.

See the similarities in the texture and shine quality of the hair? The child's face is censored for their privacy of course, but that photo comes from an article talking about malnutrition and childhood hunger in Nicaragua and is a before photo from their program.

But let's look at Johnny's hair real quick. It's very brittle/coarse looking but not thick. The coarseness might make it seem that way, but look at his hand. The hair is patchy, as if it is very thin and has been falling out. The dullness of his hair is pretty obvious, though, it does appear shiny due to the spotlight. Again if you look on his hand, it has no natural shine to it. The lack of pigmentation is going to look the most different between species obviously, but it's import to point out that Johnny's hair is way more brown here than we see it in Sing 2, aka, a loss of pigmentation. His hair is pretty bluntly saying he's malnourished.

However, these effects can be fixed! Typically, in a lot of cases that is, these effects of malnutrition on hair will disappear (or start to) after six months of nutritional stability. Which makes sense when we see Johnny in Sing 2! I put the time of the movies to be about a year apart, and this makes sense with the changes in Johnny's hair. It's thicker, no longer course, and has a shine to it. The amount of brown has evened out more naturally into his hair, looking more like natural highlights in comparison to a loss of pigmentation as it did earlier. These changes are especially obvious when you look at Johnny's hands. The hair there looks full and isn't patchy, and is the place where we can easily see the natural shine. Johnny has been eating regularly for at least six months. His hair has healed.

Posture

Now, this one is not used at all from what I can see online (or from when I bugged my medical friends) as an actual diagnosis aid. And I will admit the original study on this was conducted a very long time ago. However, several medical institutions do still seem to list diet as a thing that can effect your posture, so I'm going to run with it (I do not have a medical degree, I just know wayyy too many doctors).

The thing that effects your posture in terms of nutrition is your vitamin intake. Several vitamins, namely vitamin D and calcium, are essential for bone health. And your spine, surprise surprise, is made of bones. If you do not consume enough of these vitamins, your bones become weak and supporting body weight is difficult, leading to you likely having worse posture than normal.

And in Sing 1, which character has arguably the worst posture I have seen in my entire life? Johnny.

And again, this is a thing that changes drastically between the two movies. And is absolutely something I want to contribute to the clear change in the amount of food this kid is eating.

Sorry, this was the clearest photo I could easily find. But! Look at that difference! There is still a slight curve, which is in most people's posture, but it has greatly improved. His bones, muscles, and ligaments are getting the amount of nutrition they need to actually work properly and support his body.

Size/developmental Milestones

Now this is the most obvious one and the thing that kicked off this research deep dive. Johnny is obviously smaller than his father and uncles in Sing 1, who are the same subspecies as him. However, I will agree, that is not a fair comparison. Marcus, Stan, and Barry are mature adults and have finished growing. Johnny is still a juvenile-young adult in the gorilla lifespan (I place him as 17 in Sing 1).

However, that does mean Johnny should be closing the gap with them, or starting to, in terms of height and weight. But he clearly isn't. In fact, we see that he hasn't grown by Sing 2 either, when gorillas around his age are very clearly bigger than him.

Malnourishment stunts the growth of children significantly. In fact, that is typically one of the first signs doctors look for (think of how your height and weight are checked at every doctor visit). This effects millions of children worldwide every day and it is very very important to remedy this as quickly as possible.

Why? Because as a whole, stunted growth is largely irreversible. While the child can recover weight pretty easily, height isn't the same. Even if they do eventually get nutritional stability, it's unlikely that they will actually grow to the height they could have been before. And I feel like that is a prime example of what has happened to Johnny.

While in the year between the two movies Johnny has clearly had nutritional stability and has largely recovered in terms of health, he hasn't grown much, if at all. And Johnny is 17-18 years old (by my estimate, he could be as old as 19 in Sing 2 but that is the eldest I'm able to believe), he should still be growing. However, again, when we compare him to other gorillas his age, he is significantly behind in growth. And will likely remain that way his entire life.

So...

In summary, I believe that, despite the drastic measures taken by Marcus, Stan, and Barry to support him, Johnny did grown up malnourished, resulting in his growth being stunted. This malnourishment was replaced with nutritional stability in the year between the two movies, likely while he was in foster care and the debt of the garage was payed off by Nana or another capable party. Despite this dietary change between movies and Johnny's newfound health, his growth had been stunted for long enough that the damage was irreversible, leading to Johnny being so noticeably small compared to other gorillas who are around his age.

------Mentioned Analysis------ Gang's reasons for crime analysis:

[mcatmemoranda]

I'm going to revamp a weight loss info sheet I made for pts with the following:

Keep a food journal. People who keep a food journal lose more weight than people who don't. Pay attention to the ingredients and nutrition labels on the food you eat. Avoid foods with added sugars, artificial sweeteners, high fructose corn syrup. Avoid sugary beverages (juice, soda).

Eat more whole foods and fewer processed foods. Whole foods don't have labels. Think about trying to eat mostly or only the foods that you could grow in a garden or catch yourself (vegetables, fruits; and if you eat meat, lean meats like turkey, chicken, and seafood). Avoid the middle aisles in the grocery store with processed foods (e.g., crackers, chips, snack foods).

Focus on macronutrients rather than counting calories.

Prioritize complete proteins. Aim for 1.5 g protein/kg daily. One kg = 2.2 lbs.

At 141 lbs, I'm basically 64 kg, so I need 96 g protein a day.

Can start with 30 g of protein per meal. Eat protein before eating other food groups of your meal.

Eat healthy fats: omega-3 fatty acids (found in fish like salmon and tuna). Omega-9 fatty acids (found in olives, avocados and their oils). Unprocessed omega-6 fatty acids (nuts, seeds, and their butters). Avoid processed seed and vegetable oils (canola, corn, cottonseed, soybean, sunflower, safflower, grapeseed, rice bran), which are high in polyunsaturated fatty acids (PUFAs). PUFAs can increase the inflammatory response in your body and affect insulin.

There are 3 main types of carbs: starch, sugar, and fiber. Starch and sugar will spike your blood sugar. Go for high fiber, low starch carbohydrate foods found in vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower, peppers, cucumbers, zucchini.

Eat low glycemic fruits like blackberries, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, avocados, coconuts, olives.

Eat smaller portions of grains and legumes (brown rice, quinoa, beans, and lentils). Try to eat grains later in your meal to avoid blood sugar spikes. Prioritize healthy proteins, fat, and vegetables over grains. Eat meals in this order: protein, fat, carbs. This will help maintain normal blood sugar levels and avoid spikes.

You can take 1-2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar 30 minutes before your main meal of the day. This can lower the post-meal blood glucose levels. Caution: apple cider vinegar is very acidic and can negatively affect your teeth.

Families who eat meals together eat less than those who don't. Focus on the meal instead of watching TV. Chew your food more. Savor it. Pause to drink water. Bake, grill, and sauté instead of frying. If you don't have time for meal preparation, try easy steam in microwave vegetables (no sauces added) or pre-chopped vegetables you can buy at the grocery store. If you can afford it, try a meal prep program with healthy options that delivers to you.

Fast for a minimum of 12 hours a day (e.g., 7:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m.). Give yourself 3 hours between bed time and your last meal. This allows your body time to process food rather than to store it as fat. Your body is less insulin sensitive at night so, aim to eat carbohydrates earlier in the day and fewer carbs at night. Your age, sex, menopausal status, time of your menstrual cycle, activity levels, etc. will affect how you should eat.

Reduce snacking/grazing and eat 2 to 3 meals a day. Try taking a (no sugar added) fiber supplement (with plenty of water) instead of eating a snack. This has been shown to reduce weight by 10 lbs in those taking a daily fiber supplement instead of eating snack food over the course of 3 months. Fiber helps you feel full and eat less. Drink plenty of water with fiber supplements.

Drink more water. Drink a cup of water before you eat. Pause in the middle of your meal to drink some water. Wait 20 minutes and see how you feel. It takes time for the satiety hormones to take effect. This may help decrease overeating if you give yourself more time between bites to realize whether you feel full. If you feel full, stop eating.

Avoid added sugars in beverages. Avoid artificial sweeteners (e.g., aspartame). Artificial sweeteners affect the gut and brain. Splenda is sweeter than normal sugar. It can reset the brain to crave sweeter and sweeter beverages than if you had just added real sugar to your coffee instead (but not too much sugar). Stevia is a healthier sugar substitute.

Change your lifestyle. Exercising for weight loss requires activities that increase your heart rate and keep it up for the duration of your activity. So walking the dog is good, but it is not the same as you going for an independent power walk with the goal of maintaining 80% of your expected maximal heart rate for 30 minutes straight. Weight bearing exercises force your muscles to pull on the bones and will help burn fat and strengthen bones. Women should do weight bearing exercises as well. Weight training increases your metabolic rate and will help you burn fat.

Find ways to build exercise into your day. Wake up 1 hour early to exercise before getting ready for work. If you have an hour-long lunch break, take 30 minutes of it to power walk outside. Spend 10 minutes walking up and down the stairs three times a day--that's 30 minutes if exercise right there! Keep a pair of 3-lb dumbbells at your desk and do a 10-minute dumbbell routine during down time. Get a standing desk and stand more than you sit. Get a treadmill with a desk so you can walk while you use your laptop. Stay for an hour after work to walk around the building and you can avoid rush hour traffic and get your steps in. Walk fast like you're running late for a meeting. Keep a treadmill in view of the TV so you can walk while you watch a 2-hour movie. Forty minutes after you eat dinner, power walk or ride a bike for half an hour. Even if you feel like you're not seeing the results of your efforts--do not stop! Make exercise a daily habit for health and wellness regardless of your weight or body shape! If you can afford it, get a Planet Fitness membership (it's only $10 a month; they have fitness trainers who can help you learn how to exercise). Try your local YMCA.

Choose foods you can eat and exercises that you can do for the rest of your life. These lifestyle modifications will help you maintain your weight loss.

Sleep is also very important. Don't stay up too late. Go to bed at the same time every day. Avoid looking at screens for 2 hours before bed time. Aim for at least 7 hours of sleep a night. Even with a good diet and exercise regimen, it can be hard to lose weight and maintain weight loss if you do not get adequate sleep.

Helpful resources:

MyFitnessPal app

Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole (intuitiveeating.org)

MyPlate.gov

DASH Diet and Mediterranean Diet (https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-eating/eat-smart/nutrition-basics/mediterranean-diet)

Inspiration:

[kelevensblog]

Personal Training for Special Population (PT-SP)

If you or someone you know is looking for personalized fitness that takes into account specific health concerns or conditions, Keleven's "PT for Special Populations" certification course is a great resource. As the material presented here is based on current research and data supplied by pertinent professional groups, this training is also intended to enhance any training qualifications.

The K11 Personal Training for Special Population Certification Course is the most up-to-date and innovative course in the industry.

Keleven offers personal training services for Special Populations. Keleven's personalized approach to fitness and nutrition coaching for individuals with special conditions or specific needs. Keleven's team of certified personal trainers and nutrition coaches have experience working with a wide range of populations, including those with injuries, disabilities, chronic diseases, and other health concerns. Keleven's approach to creating customized workout and nutrition plans for each client, based on their unique needs and goals. 

If you or someone you know is looking for personalized fitness that takes into account specific health concerns or conditions, Keleven's "PT for Special Populations" certification course is a great resource. As the material presented here is based on current research and data supplied by pertinent professional groups, this training is also intended to enhance any training qualifications.

The K11 Personal Training for Special Population Certification Course is the most up-to-date and innovative course in the industry.

[approveshieldreviews]

Guidance for Building Your Fitness Coaching Business

Building a successful fitness coaching business doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. With the right structure and clear strategies, you can create a profitable and sustainable coaching model. Here, we’ll explore essential steps to get started, answer common questions about pricing and setup, and provide actionable advice to help your business grow.

Start with a Strong Coaching Framework

One of the most frequent questions is, “How should I structure my coaching business?” The answer largely depends on your goals, expertise, and the type of clients you aim to serve. Whether you’re offering 1:1 sessions, group training, or hybrid models, clarity is crucial.

Define Your Offerings: Outline your services and packages clearly. For example, do you want to focus on one-time consultations, ongoing coaching programs, or digital products like workout plans?

Set Boundaries: Establish your working hours and the level of access clients will have (e.g., email, app support, live calls). Overcommitting can lead to burnout, so set limits early.

Leverage Tools and Platforms: From scheduling apps to client management systems, the right tools can streamline your operations. Platforms like Trainerize or TrueCoach can help you stay organized and provide a professional client experience.

Setting a Pricing Model That Reflects Value

Another key concern is, “How much should I charge as a fitness coach?” Pricing is often tricky, but it’s essential to position yourself where your services reflect the value you bring. Here are some tips:

Understand Your Market: Research other coaches in your niche and location. Are they charging hourly rates, monthly packages, or results-based pricing? Use this as a benchmark.

Account for Experience: If you’re new, starting at a mid-range price can help you attract clients while building confidence. For seasoned professionals, premium pricing can position you as an expert.

Consider Overheads: If you’re investing in software, certifications, or ads, factor these costs into your pricing. Don’t undervalue your time and expertise.

At Impact Fitness Coaching Academy, we guide fitness professionals in finding a pricing structure that balances affordability with profitability. Knowing how to communicate your value to potential clients makes all the difference.

Expanding Beyond 1:1 Personal Training

When people ask, “How would you build your PT business?” they’re often looking for ways to move beyond just trading time for money. Scaling your business doesn’t mean you have to work longer hours; instead, it’s about working smarter:

Add Group Coaching: Group sessions allow you to serve multiple clients at once while fostering a sense of community. This is a cost-effective option for clients and a high-reward structure for you.

Launch Digital Products: Consider creating programs like downloadable workout guides, nutrition templates, or even online courses. Once built, these products can provide a steady stream of income.

Create Recurring Revenue: Memberships or subscription plans for ongoing access to workouts or coaching provide predictable income.

These shifts allow you to diversify income sources and reduce dependence on in-person sessions alone.

Building a Coaching Business with Long-Term Success

For those wondering, “How to build a coaching business?” the answer lies in consistency and strategy. Here are steps to consider:

Nail Down Your Branding: A cohesive online presence builds trust. This includes a professional website, active social media, and clear messaging. Highlight testimonials and success stories to show potential clients the results they can achieve.

Focus on Marketing: While word-of-mouth referrals are great, scaling requires proactive marketing. This includes email campaigns, content marketing, and paid ads if your budget allows.

Invest in Yourself: Whether through certifications, workshops, or business coaching programs like Impact Fitness Coaching Academy, continuous learning keeps you ahead in the industry.

Final Thoughts

Building a fitness coaching business doesn’t happen overnight, but by structuring it correctly, setting fair pricing, and diversifying your offerings, you’ll create a model that’s both impactful and profitable. If you’re looking for support to accelerate this process, consider programs like Impact Fitness Coaching Academy—a valuable resource for coaches ready to take their business to the next level.

[fuchszy]

My weight loss journey. pt 1

A few weeks ago or rather, 21 days ago, I decided to change my daily routine. I was according to the BMI test of my "health coach", slightly overweight. So I knew I was making the right decision when I decided to start with Herbalife. Herbalife offers shakes, teas and syrups you put in water that help you with your weight loss journey. Of course, you need to add some form of exercise to that, or you won't see your results drastically change. I chose to add Pilates to that routine.

I started with the breakfast by Herbalife: Formula 1 Vanilla powder and Soft Chocolate nutrition powder. Which I take after the tea and Aloe Vera syrup in a glass of cold water.

Around 10 AM or 9 AM I eat something. Usually whole oatmeal flakes with semi-skimmed milk. Now, I have discovered adding an apple and putting it in the microwave for 2 minutes. Which softens the apples just enough and heats them up to really give me that autumn feel and warm me up on cold mornings.

By lunchtime, I eat chicken cold cuts or turkey cold cuts on whole grain bread and add a minimal amount of butter. Otherwise, I have half a slice of bread left and the turkey or chicken in my mouth. I drink water as much as possible each day.

I'm not at 1.5L of water just yet, but I have left out soda drinks all together. I only grab coffee when I had a bad night and couldn't sleep. When I don't drink water, I drink tea, especially on colder days a good warm cup of tea surely helps!

Today, my dad went to the grocery store for me and bought a soy milk carton to try out and some high protein puddings I can snack on among the Greek yogurt I devour. When I eat Greek yogurt though, I put 6 spoons in a small bowl and depending on whether I haven't or not, I add one spoon of chia seeds.

I try to drink as much water and exercise as much as I can! To reach my goal of 65 kg or 143 lbs. Of course this also needs a flat belly and less bloating after a meal. So I try to do my no more belly fat Pilates routine at least 1x a day and keep the weekends off. Unless, since I haven't exercised before, I experience immense muscle pain, I take an extra day off to spare my muscles.

Overall! My goal is to take fewer naps, stay awake longer at night, lose weight, generally have more energy, and become healthier. I'll try to share my routine and updates with you weekly or daily. This will happen in "stylized" posts that hopefully have a picture or stock image of products I have devoured that day. But we'll see! I'm not the greatest at taking aesthetic pictures.