#nuance could muddy things

[redactedresearch]

I think Handsome Jack cried so hard he threw up once he really stood and acknowledged Angel's passing

[fizzigigsimmer]

This has been nibbling at me for days, but "Billy's Fantasy Girl" is such a weird awkward as fuck inclusion in the VR game. Allowing for the fact that I am not male, and I do not know for certain how the average hetero dude is conceptualizing their existence and processing their deepest desires and insecurities, but it just feels incredibly clunky and odd that Vecna is filtering Billy's weaknesses through a female of no face and name.

Do men project their weaknesses onto their partners and search for meaning within their relationships just as much as women do? Abso-fucking-lutely. My issue is not with Billy's Fantasy Girl's existence within his psyche, but with how she exists and why she exists. FG exists to reveal to the audience something about Billy. Several things, in truth. One of them, quite deftly, that Billy has all the insecurities of a budding abuser himself. His fantasy woman is someone so broken and desperate that she will put him first in everything, because he's the only one or thing that can make her feel like she has any kind of value or presence in the world (because that's how he feels). And before anyone climbs down my throat about it, lets just all agree that this is the bed soil of many a toxic relationship.

Because Billy is never going to find that, the resentment/pain/frustration will continue to build and it is likely he will seek to control his partners in the future and try to force them into the shape he needs - keep them locked in the trunk and by his side. We see the seeds of this developing in the canon with him and Max. He cares about her whether he's accepted that or not, and when she steps outside the box or does things that put her or him in harms way he lashes out.

The second thing FG exists to do of course is flip the script and show us just how broken Billy is. How worthless and desperate he feels, because he is a victim right now. More important than any potential abuse he could visit on some imaginary girlfriend or wife of the future is the abuse Billy has suffered and is suffering right now, which has made him the perfect target for The Mind Flayer - an abuser, who has literally come along to tell Billy that he's seen, understood, and he can have everything he wants if he just literally gives up control of his self and devotes himself to the monster and his monstrous desires.

All of that tracks, and is frankly the kind of deep exploration of trauma cycles that the Duffer Brothers failed to do. My issue with it is that there were much cleaner ways to make the same points, without filtering Billy through a female lens. Choosing to focus on a female and filter Billy through that female is what we call A Choice. They did not need to do it, and in just about every way there were easier ways to get the same points across without risking loosing less media literate players in the muddy waters of nuance, metaphor, and symbolism.

We could have seen Billy filtered through the eyes of the wounded child again. Vecna could have promised him a picture perfect family, like maybe his mom never left, or maybe he gets to punish her for leaving and Neil for being a piece of shit. IDK there are just dozens and dozens of ways they could have shown us he is love starved and just as desperate to give up control as he is to control his world, without literally forcing the audience to imagine a female and then saying - this is Billy btw. LOL like, y'all don't understand. Choices were made.

[spaceorphan18]

More thoughts on XM97 - because of course I have more thoughts...

Doing some more reflection, because this is what I do during hyperfixation, apparently.

It helps to write things down and get them out of my head, I suppose. Honestly, it'll be nice to get past the last episode, because then I can compartmentalize and just push the thing away until season 2 (if the finale gives me any reason to want to come back).

DeMayo went on another tweeting spree (I just keep an eye on these things because I get curious) and during this particular bout, I feel like I've got somethings clarified. And I think my own personal frustrations come down to - the ideas of writing and creating vs fan expectations.

Overall, I do think that XM97 is a solidly good (or at least entertaining) show. The animation is good. The voice cast is good. And the ideas they are using, in theory, are more adult and mature and nuanced than the original kids' show ever was (which, I'll give TAS some credit - dug deeper a lot of times when most kids' cartoons of the time didn't).

One of the biggest issues for me has been execution. First of all, the show is way too short for the amount they're trying to pack in here. It almost feels like they wanted to do everything on their wishlist because if they didn't, they wouldn't get the chance to do it. And it feels, muddied... They really needed a full season to unpack a lot of this.

The thing about Rogue and Gambit's story.... I get the 'kill your darlings' strategy of writing. In fact, I agree that good stories are messy and have conflict and you should always put your heroes through the worst. I feel like there was a better way to do the story (I believe) they're telling.

I don't think Magneto needed to be a part of it at all, and the triangle just feels... forced in a lot of ways. I understand that they went there to give Remy some heartbreak along the way, but I truly believe the two of them, with their own issues, and the two of them being in an undefined relationship with complicated issues over touch -- still could have resulted in compelling TV, and still would kept the devastation of Gambit's death.

Episode 5 is still my favorite, and despite my distaste for the whole Magneto side of it, I think the writing there was top notch, and still the best this show has been. I get, though, that they wanted to have Rogue and Gambit "break up" for the impact to hit harder, for Rogue to feel much more guilt once he died, for that last line to be even more heartbreaking.

So, the easiest route was to add the Magneto of it all. Episode 5 is brilliant in a vacuum. But in greater context there are other ways you can get there. And, no, Magneto wasn't ultimately needed. Rogue still could have had regrets, there still could have been heartbreak, there are always things you just don't say before a tragedy.

The thing about it, had they set this up correctly, and in a way that was more satisfying and didn't involve third parties? You may have gotten way more of the Rogue and Gambit fans on board. (And I'll get to the fan side of this in a second.)

See, TAS flirted with Rogue and Gambit's romance but never pushed it too far. Not only was it a kids' show, but Rogue probably would have never had her powers under control and it just was never going to go that far. Meanwhile, the comics have moved way beyond where TAS was. Rogue and Gambit's relationship has evolved a lot in thirty years - way past the tragedy, past the will-they/won't-they, past the break ups and reunions, and in the comics, Rogue and Gambit are a relatively healthy (for a comic book couple) couple of best friends and old marrieds. They're story is so far beyond what they once were that going back to TAS feels... odd.

So, the show starting in this place where TAS left off feels awkward in a lot of ways. There's a lot of expectations layered onto this show, but the show -- being limited by external factors, can't really handle all of it.

I don't think the first few episodes of the show did enough to show the sheer strength of Rogue and Gambit's connection and relationship. And part of that was time and part of that is because it's a sequel to a show set thirty years ago and part of it is time compression and part of it is the writing wanting to leave some vague open-endedness to the relationship so that Episode 5 could work.

And thus Episode 5 feels a bit jarring. It's way more a mature script. There's much more going on in those relationships that we haven't seen set up. Not really. And it's almost relying too much on - things that were mildly set up in the original and the heavy history of the comics.

Which leads me to what has happened afterwards. I think that in a world sans the Magneto of it all, you still get a Rogue who is absolutely heartbroken over the loss of her love. She would still go dark. She would still seek vengeance. She would still wrap herself up in that trench coat and wreck havoc on everyone until she ultimately succumbed to her own grief and eventually dealt with it in one way or the other.

(The part that I just don't agree with -- besides giving up the trench coat, which I know is symbolic in gesture -- is her running off to play Colossus in Fatal Attractions. Which, again, is why they did add the Magneto of it all, but I'm digressing.)

Anyway, this leads me to the fan expectations, and why it does feel so raw for a lot of us. Rogue and Gambit have never really had their time to shine. The films are full of mischaracterizations and limited (very limited) appearances. The other TV shows never let the relationship shine. And even in the comics it felt like forever for the X-Office to take them seriously.

This TV show felt like an opportunity to start fresh. To be excited about something. To get behind the characters we love and celebrate them. We can still break their hearts. We can still even kill them off. But give us a reason to care!

But instead of building that relationship with us fans, it went a different route. And now we feel heartbroken and angry, instead of just heartbroken. Gambit fans - who get shit on so often - get one bright of moment of glory before a death that feels somewhat hollow when you start to realize it was in purpose of someone else's story. Rogue fans - have the internet hating her with a passion. It feels like once again - being set up only to fail.

It feels hurtful, even when, I truly believe, that was not the writers' intentions. Make your characters go through hell - yes, but you have to have your audience on your side to make it impactful.

I don't really know where the show goes from here. There's either going to be closure or a cliffhanger. What I'd really like, though, is some sort of hope.

Because I get real life sucks. And I get that we often reflect in our fiction that it does. But we're talking about a cartoon about superheroes. We're talking about escapism at its finest. I love complicated and messy and nuanced and sometimes even heartbreaking stories -- but I also want something that makes it all worth while.

There is still one episode left, and I'm curious as to where it's going to go. Because at the end of the day, X-Men has always been about hope, too.

[nalyra-dreaming]

That I love you scene was.. weird. I haven’t read the books but I knew louman would be a thing and I was prepared to see them fall in love. But.. we haven’t seen that? I really don’t think this is any sort of bias on my part, it’s just I haven’t seen anything that makes me think louis, at that point in time in Paris, is in love with armand, never mind very much so? which is why that scene felt so strange to me? so far, even in this same episode, we haven’t seen this love from louis.. a form of affection, sure, but suddenly madeline can feel a great love? and also the fact that she says louis doesn’t want armand to know, but louis did tell armand he loved him? idk it’s weird. I’ve seen the theory that madeline was feeling louis’ love for lestat, but I don’t think I would have made that connection myself, because if that is what happened, the writing was prettt subtle.. idk but I thought that scene was strange

I think it's a mess.

I think all of it plays into it all, Louis does love Armand, but not like that, Louis still loves Lestat like that, which is why he stops himself channeling him and his words, Armand knows that, and he wants that (kind of) love, but he knows he won't get it and it HURTS.

There is no clear-cut answer that, other that it HURTS Armand (and Louis ultimately hurts himself with it, too). And you could see that in his eyes.

And Louis... was quite cold there, calling after Armand, because he hardened himself, as Claudia said, he had let the softer side go on that bench, and no matter if he did that to protect his own heart or not... that made me wince.

And I love, absolutely ADORE that this show does the nuance, and the muddied waters, and goes full mess. But as said before, they definitely went so much darker with Loumand than I anticipated. And... I find it unsettling to watch, actually, because the power play dynamics that were shown... are bitter. So very, very bitter.

And... I have a feeling that this bitterness will soon come into play in Dubai as well.

Because the show does not shy away from things like that.

[porcelainseashore]

Ghosts from the Past (4)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Agent! Leon Kennedy x Dancer! Informant! Fem! Reader

Summary: 7 years after leaving behind everything you’ve known, you’re suddenly thrust into facing a ghost from your past, Leon. Navigating where you stand with him brings up old memories, painful truths and countless questions. At the same time, you have to deal with a bunch of strange occurrences at your dance company. Set after Resident Evil 4 Remake.

Warnings: 18+ Swearing, Recreational Drug Use, Alcohol, Eventual Smut, No (Y/N), Canon-Typical Horror and Violence, Blood, Injury, Torture, Infection, Medical Experiments, Psychological Trauma, Nightmares

Content: Post-Resident Evil 4, Exes to Lovers, Partners to Lovers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Lack of Communication, Romance, Fluff

Author's Note: Oof, I'm really nervous with my portrayal of the mystery woman in red, but hopefully it makes for a good read. Also, a word of caution on some medical horror lying in wait.

AO3 Link

Chapter 4: Red

The deal with the scientist would go down early in the week, on the day after your performance. Bergmann had requested for you to accompany Leon, much to his chagrin. As always, your handler relished in the game of politics, wanting to make life a little more difficult for the golden boy, just because she could. It was petty, but she had always done her job well, so no one really questioned her methods. If there was one thing Germany was well-known for, it was red tape - a lot of it. Bergmann used that as an excuse to get you to keep an eye on him. This ensured that it wasn’t just the US side setting the agenda, and she would earn her place of glory if the mission was successful. It had to be.

Ever since the dreadful confession you had with Leon, you focused on the lead up to the performance, distancing yourself from the man as much as you could. Each question he had was met with curt, one-word answers. You completed your reports and handed them in without a word. The actions you took seemed to cause him visible pain, as if a brick wall was cracking bit by bit. You picked up on the nuances in his body language, especially whenever you shunned him. The way his eyes flickered when he stared at you, emptying out like a hollowed shell as he pressed his lips together in a taut line.

On the day of your performance, he wished you good luck, repeating the same words he had slipped you on a note back in high school. “You got this.” A timid smile formed on his face, unsure of how you’d react, but carrying a small glimmer of hope. 

Until then, you had barely acknowledged his presence, but now you retaliated with a look of revulsion. How dare he play with your feelings? 

“You’ve got some nerve,” you spat, turning on your heel and slamming the door on your way out, without waiting for his reply.

That night, as everyone was busy preparing for the show’s premiere, Leon had taken advantage of the diversion to do a reconnaissance of the place, based on the details you had provided to him. Channeling the whirlwind of emotions you had gone through into your movements, you danced through Silje’s latest creation, ‘The Rite’, a piece about passion, sacrifice and death. It almost felt like a ritual or secret initiation, as you rolled through the earth scattered on the stage set, muddied and stripped down like an animal, before being forced into a red dress by your co-dancers and given up as an offering to the gods.

The end of the performance was met with a resounding applause and multiple encores, as Silje came on stage to receive the customary bouquet of flowers, which she handed over to you. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from your shoulders, as you made your way backstage to wipe the dirt off your face and look presentable again. You did it. In spite of all the trials and tribulations, you made it here as Silje’s star. But even then, it still felt like something was amiss. 

Sighing, you exited the stage doors to enter the foyer, where you greeted the theater patrons and other important people along with your fellow dancers. From the corner of your eye, you spotted someone you recognized - a tall, young man, with his dark raven hair slicked back with wax. He was impeccably dressed in a suit that you assumed was personally tailored to him, and exuded elegance as he made a beeline towards you. Your heart skipped a beat. Of course, you’d forgotten he would be here. He never missed any of Silje’s shows.

“What a performance!” He exclaimed, his radiant smile causing his eyes to crinkle with joy. Cupping his hands over yours, he gave them a squeeze. “You were wonderful as always.”

“Mikkel?” You tried to feign happiness in seeing him, as a tinge of disappointment overcame you. No matter how much you tried to snuff out the burning desire within, you wished it was someone else. Someone whom you’d rather leave in the past.

“It’s so good to see you,” he remarked genuinely.

Suddenly, as if he had a knack for showing up at the most inopportune times, you heard Leon’s rugged voice. “There you are.”

You didn’t face him, but you could tell that he seemed a little out of breath. “I managed to catch the last of it. You were amazing.” His hand hovered just over the small of your back, wanting to touch you, but knowing he couldn’t.

Mikkel flashed him a puzzled look. “Mikkel.” He extended his hand. “And you are…?”

“Leon.” It sounded tense and pinched, as he ignored the offer for a handshake.

You stepped in to interject before anymore damage could be done. “He’s, um, an old friend from the States,” you explained, nodding between the two of them awkwardly.

“Visiting?” Mikkel questioned.

“You could say that,” Leon muttered, in a tone that showed the initial signs of irritation.

Mikkel appeared to have perceived this and instead focused his attention on you. “Well, actually, I have been meaning to ask you,” he began mindfully. “If you would like to follow up on where we left off that night?”

You felt the temperature around you drop to a negative value, as his words hung in the air in deafening silence.

“Maybe we could… discuss this another time?” You suggested meekly. God, you were terrible at letting people down.

“I’m sure now is as good a time as any,” Leon interrupted tersely. You could feel the accusing glares he was throwing your way. “Wouldn’t want to keep Mikkel here hanging, right?”

For the first time since the conversation started, you turned towards him, giving him a warning glance. “Leon.”

He tilted his head to the side, scrutinizing you with a bold defiance in his eyes.

“Sorry, uh- I’ll call you or something,” you mentioned rather noncommittally to Mikkel, as you dragged Leon away from the foyer.

Once you were certain you were out of earshot, you threw your hands up in vexation. “Seriously, what the fuck?” You hissed. “Don’t you have a job to do?”

“Oh, you mean the recon part? Yeah, done and dusted,” he scoffed, aware that you were purposely avoiding the subject.

“You know, it’s pretty rich of you to give me the silent treatment, when you seem to have moved on yourself,” he admonished.

So, he saw this as a competition? You shook your head disparagingly. “Mikkel was a date that never went anywhere. Unlike your mystery woman,” you pointed out. “Happy now?”

His features relaxed, though he noted self-deprecatingly, “You could have a normal life with him.”

What he said confused you to no end, on the one hand indicating that it would be better to be with another man, yet at the same time not wanting you to.

“And what if I don’t want a normal life?” You retorted, backing away from Leon as you spoke, making it clear that the talk was over. “Listen, I don’t have time to argue with you about this. I’m needed backstage.”

“Hey, wait-”

You didn’t give him a chance to finish. “You should go, Leon, before Silje sees you.” Leaving him with that piece of advice, you parted ways.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Back in the dressing room, you found yourself alone with Silje, who beamed at you with pride. “I knew you would pull through.”

Picking up a dark, champagne bottle by her side on the table, she tipped it into a flute glass, handing it over to you encouragingly. The sparkly liquid was mesmerizing, as if flecks of gold reflected along its surface. You’d never seen a color quite like it.

“It’s the most sought after one we have,” she articulated with an alluring timbre. “For special occasions.”

You took the glass, still enthralled by its contents, placing it to your lips as you drank the champagne unquestioningly. It tasted like a sweet nectar, warm and heady as it flowed down your throat and coursed through your veins. A brilliant light dazzled you and it felt like your body was vaporizing into the atmosphere. Then, you heard Silje’s voice in slow motion from the background, “Congratulations, my child…”

When you awoke, you found yourself back in your bed with no memory of how you got there. Your mind was reeling and you felt extremely groggy and unsteady, to the point where you were unable to shift yourself up to a sitting position on the mattress. 

What on earth was in that drink? You wondered if you had taken too much by accident. Maybe Silje brought you home when you passed out.

Disregarding any further thoughts, you decided that it would be best to find sleep, as you had a long day ahead of you tomorrow. But even within the throes of sleep you couldn’t find respite, because the dreams came soon after.

You were walking through darkened corridors. There was hardly any light source, except for a blue luminous sheen that coated every surface, as if you were on an alien planet. Feeling the concrete walls with your hands to guide the way, you eventually came to rest in front of a set of crimson doors. Leaning your entire weight against them, they screeched as you pushed them open, the force causing you to stumble into a room that was enveloped in a thick smog. The cover was so dense that you couldn’t see anything else beyond it and it was getting harder to breathe. 

Gradually, you began to succumb to a sort of tranquil unconsciousness. Then, you found yourself lying on a cold, metallic surface, and each time you opened your eyes, you made out vague figures of medical staff surrounding you. Surgical instruments, petri dishes and test tubes lined the counters near the table. As you couldn’t hold your eyes open for long, the images appeared like vignettes. One of the staff members in scrubs inserted a strange device with a thin needle into your vagina. The frigidity of it caused you to wince, and you felt a light suction tugging at you from within. Once they had finished with the procedure, they whisked the fluids and material away. You couldn’t scream, you didn’t have an urge to - everything felt so comfortable and numb.

The next moment, you heard the distant wail of a baby that got closer and closer, until it seemed like it was directly at the side of your ear. Twisting your head in the source of the crying, a child-like silhouette covered in a substance resembling tar crawled on the ground towards you, squelching with each movement and leaving black imprints in its wake. There were remnants of an eye and tufts of hair peeking out from beneath the slimy substance. Despite its grotesque shape, you felt a sense of connection to it, wanting to reach out and embrace it in your arms. When it was only inches away from you, your eyes snapped shut and you faded into oblivion.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Rousing yourself out of a deep slumber, you were startled to find that you were back at the dressing room of the theater, where you had celebrated with Silje yesterday evening. You immediately checked under your clothes for any signs that you had been operated on against your will, but found none.

Glancing at your watch, you cursed out loud as panic set in. You were running late for the meeting between Leon and the scientist. It didn’t take much for you to put aside the weird dream you had the night before. After all, there were far more important things to worry about right now, and there was a logical explanation for what had happened. You probably went a little overboard with the drinking and then fell asleep at the theater. It wouldn’t have been the first time this had happened either. The company had a tendency to revel in successful premieres.

Rushing over to the location you had been given, you met Leon’s stern gaze as he got out of the car he had been waiting in outside of the abandoned warehouse. He tapped on the window, indicating for the driver to do a couple of rounds before heading back to avoid suspicion.

“Partied too hard?” He questioned snippily, while making his way inside the place.

You mumbled out a quick apology, following him from behind. He was probably still sore from how your exchange ended last night.

From afar, an older man with graying hair and spectacles peeked out from behind one of the rusty beams. Upon seeing you both, he stepped over nervously, wringing his hands.

“You got the papers?” He asked, his voice was raspy as if he had swallowed sandpaper.

“Mm hm,” Leon continued to advance towards him. “Card first.”

The man nodded, looking behind his shoulders anxiously before stretching out his hand with a slim, white keycard nestled in his palm. Leon swiped it from him, examining it briefly. Finding it satisfactory, he pressed a large brown envelope into the man’s chest. 

“Your new ID. Ride’s outside.” Leon motioned to the entrance with his thumb.

“Uh- right, thanks.” The man hugged the envelope till it was slightly crushed against his body, still hesitant to move, like he had something else to say.

“Look, uh-” he stammered. “With every batch, there’s a fail-safe.” He whispered the last word as if he was afraid someone else would overhear him. “It should be marked with a red label.”

After that, he scampered off, while you waited patiently beside Leon. “So, what now?”

“I’ll worry about that.” His eyes softened as they trailed across your face, etching every mole, every contour and every line to his memory. “You just get home safe, ok?”

Would this be the final time you see him? Anything could happen when he tried to shut down the base, but you didn’t want to think about it. And even if everything went according to plan, you had outlived your purpose. He didn’t need you anymore. You would go your separate ways. A deal was a deal.

You thought back to the compromise you had made together that night at the smoky bar, as tears welled up in your eyes. Regardless of the pain he had caused you and your recent standoffish demeanor towards him, you couldn’t imagine the day would come where you’d have to say goodbye to him all over again.

He reached out, brushing his knuckles against your cheek, as you closed your eyes, causing the tears to splash down. Wiping them away with the back of his glove, he spoke again, his voice cracking under the weight of emotions, “I should go.”

“Not so fast.”

You heard the unmistakable sound of someone placing their finger on the trigger of a gun. Click.

Your eyes flew open. A slender woman in a red, full-length bodysuit and thigh high boots had appeared out of nowhere, aiming her handgun at Leon’s back. Your breath hitched, as you stood frozen on the spot. This was way out of your league and you prayed that he was coming up with some sort of tactic while she spoke.

“Didn’t expect to be seeing you again so soon, Leon,” she hinted provocatively. “You never tire of babysitting duties, do you?” A husky laugh rang out across the space. “Or are you the one currently being babysat?”

“Hm, cute,” he huffed as he shifted his footing slightly, giving her a sidelong glance.

“Not a step closer,” she warned, adjusting her aim threateningly.

You looked between the two of them curiously, assessing the familiarity with which they greeted each other, even though their expressions were hardened and unrelenting. “You seem to know her well,” you discerned.

“Too well.”

Something in the tone of his voice gave it away, and like a winded blow to your gut, you suspected that this was the other woman that had been in his life in your absence.

“It’s her, isn’t it?” 

Now was definitely not the time to confront Leon with this information, but you couldn’t reign in that gnawing feeling in your stomach. You had to know.

When you saw the pang of remorse that flashed across his eyes briefly, you had your answer.

“I hate to break up this reunion, but you happen to have something I want.” Catching him off-guard, the woman swiftly closed the distance and threw a roundhouse kick to his neck, but he managed to block it, though staggering to the side a bit.

Immediately, he drew his combat knife from its sheath, swiping at her aggressively to push her away from you. 

“Go!” He yelled back at you. 

However, you stayed rooted to the ground, unwilling to desert him to fend for himself on his own, as well as hoping to learn more about this mysterious woman.

Soon, they turned the warehouse space into a makeshift battleground, entering into a dance of lethal exchanges. Twisting, striking, and dodging, their movements became a blur, as they attacked and countered each other with deadly precision. Occasionally, a stray bullet was fired and you recoiled, taking cover behind one of the dilapidated pillars.

Just as you thought that the two combatants had entered into a stalemate, Leon ended up dominating the fight with a strategic flick of his knife, so fast that you barely missed it, holding it to her throat as he snarled, “Who are you working for this time, Ada?”

Ada. The name echoed in your ears, foreign and unknown, yet growing more intimate by the minute. You stole another look at her from your hiding spot. She was confident, strong and beautiful - all the qualities that made her desirable in such a cutthroat world. And you somehow understood why a man like Leon would have fallen for her, even though there was a dangerous glint in her eyes.

“So predictable,” she scoffed. “Always asking the same questions you’ll never get the answers to.” Cocking her head, she jested, “Who do you think, handsome?”

A sense of disgust started to rise like bile within you. A mercenary. She had to be one. And Leon went for her like a lap dog.

“Cut the crap,” he growled.

However, he didn’t expect you to interfere. “A mercenary? Really, Leon?” You snorted in disbelief as you impulsively tread out into the open. “Didn’t think you would stoop that low.”

A low whistle broke out from Ada’s lips as Leon shot you a withering look, both annoyed and surprised that you were still here. “I’m handling this. You need to leave. Now!”

“No, I’m staying,” you contested. “I can’t trust you to do the right thing anymore.” Folding your arms, you regarded him with nothing but disdain. “All of this is going into my report.”

Ada appeared amused by your rebellious outburst. Whereas, Leon’s face contorted in a mixture of rage, hurt and incredulity, “This isn’t the time to-”

In his moment of distraction, Ada tackled him to the ground, kicking him in the face to stun him temporarily, before hooking on to an attachment with her grapple gun, swooping over to you in the blink of an eye. You hardly had any time to react as she wrangled your arms behind you into a lock and zip-tied your wrists together.

You knew it was due to your inability to get a hang over your emotions that led you into this vulnerable position, but some part of you didn’t care. There were so many things that had been weighing down on you, causing you to make reckless decisions.

Leon got to his feet cautiously, his face bruised and bleeding as he raised his hands up in surrender. You had never seen him look this torn up before. That’s when you felt the nuzzle of Ada’s gun poking at the temple of your head and you gasped audibly, suddenly aware of how close you were flitting to death.

“Ada, please.” He sounded almost like he was begging on his knees. “Leave her out of this.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Keycard, now,” she barked, gesturing for him to hand it over to her.

Holding the card up between his index and middle finger, he flung it over. It sliced through the air and landed in her grasp.

“Good boy.” She smiled in approval.

Leon stepped forward guardedly. “Let her go,” he demanded.

“The last I recall, you weren’t the one calling the shots,” she smirked, referencing how you had challenged his authority earlier.

Before he could respond, she fired at a weak spot in one of the precarious-looking beams from above him, causing a section of the ceiling to come tumbling down. You shouted at him to watch out, and he ducked out of the way, but was now trapped by a bunch of rubble.

“Think I’ll keep her with me for a while. She’ll be useful,” Ada remarked languidly, biding her time as if the battle had already been won.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her.” She winked at him, while he scrambled to break out of his confinement, hollering that he would come for you.

As you struggled, she pulled you in harshly to stop you, dragging you outside towards a vehicle parked at the corner of the building. Opening the car door to the passenger seat, she shoved you inside, warning you not to try anything funny. Hopping into the driver’s seat, she set off at breakneck speed.

“What do you want?” You asked vehemently, while at the same time attempting to maneuver your hands as discreetly as possible to reach your back pocket, where you usually kept Leon’s Swiss Army knife. However, the zip tie was proving to be a greater hindrance than you expected and you were failing with every endeavor.

She didn’t give an answer. Well, not the one you were looking for anyway.

“You seem to matter a lot to him,” she commented. “Interesting.”

“But he still loves you.” What you had been repressing for the past few days spilled out of you without a filter.

It was Ada’s turn to eye you with skepticism as she mocked sardonically, “Love? Oh please, don’t make me laugh.”

“He’s fun to play with.” She turned back to face the road and shrugged, but you noticed a subtle reflection of sorrow in her eyes. “Though perhaps more suited to a naive, little girl like you,” she added bitterly.

You figured that this ‘heart-to-heart’ had hit a raw nerve, and both Ada and Leon were hiding more than they were letting on. Sitting in silence, you wondered how much of what Leon had been telling you was true.

Ada’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, swerving the car around before coming to a screeching halt. “We’re here.”

As she let you out, she made sure that you were close in front of her, every now and then bumping the hilt of her gun as a reminder of who was in charge. You stared down at the looming theater over on the next block. It was eerily quiet like a ghost town, with not a soul in sight. On the street, a lone paper bag rustled in the wind. Where was everyone?

“Lead the way,” she ordered, and you began to walk.

[lemonhemlock]

https://www.tumblr.com/lemonhemlock/763163615828361216/adding-to-your-nuanced-discussion-regarding-sara much of the hatred towards sara hess is gross and openly misogynistic. unfortunately, it also muddies the waters for making valid critiques of her writing overall. i’m only familiar with her work on HOTD, and while i think she does basic level serviceable work (ie- mostly the plot makes sense) i find a lot of it extremely lazy. take both HOTD finales for example; we have two scenes of domestic violence (daemyra and helaena/aemond) being used to communicate the pretty elementary idea that these men are bad, wrong, and power hungry for anticipating war in a struggle for succession. now with both characters, you can argue it makes sense; daemon has been orbiting the throne all season, he sees the greens as the threat they are and, understands war is inevitable. he’s frustrated with rhaenyra’s lack of response and lashes out after finding out viserys didn’t trust him enough to communicate aegon’s dream. meanwhile, aemond has just discovered he is at a great disadvantage in this dragon cold war, has already committed severe violence to become regent in the first place, and is also lashing out because he is insecure in his position and fearful of what might happen.

the problem is instead of exploring these (very sensible) feelings for the characters or developing them through actual scenes and dialogue, we have this shorthand where Men = Violent, because they couldn’t possibly explore these emotions for these characters in another way. i can’t remember if it was olivia or phia who spoke about the aemond/alicent/helaena scene as helaena refusing to feed aemond’s violent male ego… girl you are literally at war! idk if this is about his male ego so much as he doesn’t want to fucking die 😭 not to point the finger at the actors, i am just assuming that idea came from somewhere, and it seems most likely to be the writer or director. and daemon isn’t in the wrong for expecting battle- yet instead of having that be a real conflict between him and rhaenyra, we have this moment of abuse that is quickly brushed aside and moved past. it exists only to show us how aggressive daemon is in the simplest, laziest way possible, and then it’s disposed of when it’s no longer needed. you can say the same for “civilians don’t matter”— it’s just lazy writing! they don’t have to, in that the story can function without an in depth look at the smallfolk’s relationship to dragons and the targ dynasty overall, and why bother to do any of that when you can just decide that for this one scene, none of them matter!

this is very long 😮‍💨 i’m sorry for the essay! i find this topic hard to discuss because too often people come in to just call her a cunt because she wrote a medieval man who didn’t articulate feminism perfectly. there are real issues here!! and it’s not all on her, condal obviously approves everything and they are on the same page here. anyway. thanks for reading as always!

Coming back to this ask after some time, sorry for the delay!

I agree very much with your assessment of her doing serviceable, but ultimately lazy writing. Perhaps that under a more competent showrunner, she could have written something decent. But one of her problems is that she is only superficially familiar with the source material - I'm saying this because she gave an evasive answer when asked if she read the books ("a long time ago"). This matters because she clearly doesn't understand the politics of the universe she is writing for (the scheming is nonsensical in HOTD) or the themes (dragging back the "civilians don't matter", but it's very revelatory to how she approaches the scripts). How can you write ASOIAF media, a series that relies heavily on politicking and dismantling tropes, without a grasp on those two things? D&D misunderstanding the themes of the series is famously one of the reasons for its lackluster show ending.

And that's just not going to rectify itself on its own. If she lacks the initiative to analyse the text properly, then someone should direct her as to what exactly to write. I'm sorry, but that's you can't just have it both ways - not do the work and then shrug your shoulders when you end up creating a divergent version that doesn't fit in the plot you're bound to follow.

take both HOTD finales for example; we have two scenes of domestic violence (daemyra and helaena/aemond) being used to communicate the pretty elementary idea that these men are bad, wrong, and power hungry for anticipating war in a struggle for succession. [...] the problem is instead of exploring these (very sensible) feelings for the characters or developing them through actual scenes and dialogue, we have this shorthand where Men = Violent, because they couldn’t possibly explore these emotions for these characters in another way.

Exactly, and the reason it ends up working for Daemon is because he previously got a ton of screen time and we got to know his personality, whereas Aemond gets little next to nothing in Season 2, in addition to his in-built disadvantage of being much younger and, thus, getting introduced later on. Well, surprise surprise, what worked for Daemon will not work for Aemond in that situation, because if you don't invest in Aemond's characterisation, the parallel will fall flat. Aemond and Daemon had very different upbringings and it's very silly to think that what applies to Daemon will automatically apply to Aemond and, therefore, you don't need to bother to dissect Aemond on screen in any meaningful way.

That's just concentrating on the logistics & not even critiquing the very lazy stereotype of men = violent & women = peacemakers.

i can’t remember if it was olivia or phia who spoke about the aemond/alicent/helaena scene as helaena refusing to feed aemond’s violent male ego… girl you are literally at war! idk if this is about his male ego so much as he doesn’t want to fucking die 😭

This. ^^^ I often find that the writers were trying to make some kind of point that, in other circumstances, could have been relevant, but they have a knack for picking the worst situations as illustrative examples. And, after that, they're surprised their simile felt mismatched.

Aemond having a violent male ego and being critiqued for it within the text is absolutely fine, but is it reasonable to do it when he's trying to ensure his family are not getting killed? And have Helaena be that agent of critique, when she herself has just been subjected to horrific loss and trauma at Daemon's hands?

Conveying that the smallfolk live miserable lives that often lead them to forsake their morals and commit horrific acts in desperation (such as becoming assassins for hire) is another valid point to make. But is it really appropriate to beg for clemency from the audience via a widowed dog (the lowest form of sympathy begging, if you ask me) when we are talking about a cruel child-murderer at the end of the day?

In the same vein, high-borns having more resources at their disposal to recover after trauma is very true. But is it appropriate for that comment to come out of the mouth of a mother who only just recently lost her son to horrific violence? Especially after having her grieve so halfheartedly, it's giving less intersectionality and more her not actually giving much of a shit instead. No one in their right minds would go to a rich lady mourning her dead child and start lecturing her on the privilege of grief. Helaena is just not the appropriate vehicle in that moment for that kind of commentary.

Neither are the smallfolk of King's Landing in a position to mourn the dragon Meleys mere days after it butchered so many of their fellow townies. So many times I can sense this disconnect between what a believe, humane response would look like and half-baked attempts at social commentary.

and daemon isn’t in the wrong for expecting battle- yet instead of having that be a real conflict between him and rhaenyra, we have this moment of abuse that is quickly brushed aside and moved past. it exists only to show us how aggressive daemon is in the simplest, laziest way possible, and then it’s disposed of when it’s no longer needed.

Yes, in some ways, Daemon is the writers' opportunity to eat their cake and have it, too. They make a lot of noise about how much of a problematic bad boy he is, but, when it comes down to it, nothing he does has any kind of real consequence. The only consequence he ever faced was Viserys banishing him and that was way back before any kind of time jump (and it got overturned in the end, anyway).* Alys doesn't do anything to him except hold his hand and gently nudge him in the "right" direction. Rhaenyra takes him back with nary a snide comment.

Even back in season 1, he can kill Rhea Royce with no fallout: the Royces don't do anything and Lady Jeyne is still Rhaenyra's lackey with no explanation given. He can spread the rumour of killing Laenor with the intent of sowing fear and decapitate Vaemond in front of the greens. Yet the greens are not worried about him and scrambling to prevent Rhaenyra from seizing the throne. Oh no. Crowning Aegon is just misunderstanding Viserys' dying words. 🤦‍♀️ Daemon can even kill Jaehaerys and still Helaena decides to help him instead of her own brother.

*honestly, that's one of the reasons I think the first 5 episodes of season 1 are the show's strongest. It's like back then you did stuff and it had consequences. Incredible achievement.

you can say the same for “civilians don’t matter”— it’s just lazy writing! they don’t have to, in that the story can function without an in depth look at the smallfolk’s relationship to dragons and the targ dynasty overall, and why bother to do any of that when you can just decide that for this one scene, none of them matter!

You know, I would actually like to take this opportunity to point out that I get this conundrum as a showrunner. You don't really want to make a story about smallfolk suffering, because it would be a massive downer and it would not sell as much or be as popular. Not many people are interested in Les Miserables but with dragons and that's understandable! But there is a way to simultaneously not delve into the intricacies of oppression in your escapist nobility fantasy, but not be downright insulting about it.

They don't need a ton of screen time to set up the basic theme of "it's always the innocents who suffer when you high lords play your game of thrones". They just don't and I'm tired of pretending otherwise. They can very well illustrate the point of smallfolk suffering without resorting to insane suspension of disbelief like King's Landing starving after two weeks of blockade. And, if they can't, then they shouldn't be in the writers' room for productions that have the audacity to submit episodes to prestigious award shows.

[meluiloth]

On Stealing AI Art

Since the rise of AI generated images (or AI 'art'), there's been a lot of controversy regarding how to handle the issue; many artists - especially those being stolen from - publicly denounce the use of generative AI for creating such compositions, and are pushing back against it in any way they can.

One way I've seen people doing this is by redrawing the AI images to reflect their true artistry, such as this example below: the picture on the left is an AI-generated image by X user RogerHaus, while the artwork on the right is by X user hachihachi, drawn in protest of AI. In fact, this particular image has been redrawn in several different styles with many different characters by artists all over the world to show that real art will always be superior to AI, a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with as an artist myself.

However, while I do think that this trend of 'stealing from AI' is really amazing in some ways - all of the redraws I've seen of the above piece are gorgeous and creative - is it possible that, by redrawing an image that was originally produced by AI, we are only justifying its existence? Is it ethical to 'steal' what was already stolen from so many other artists? Is it even successful in proving that original artists are better if their art isn't fully original?

Let me explain: while it is very much a form of reclamation and protest on behalf of artists to redraw an AI-generated image, I think that there are a few nuanced drawbacks to this.

For one thing, it's possible that you could be justifying the image you're redrawing by saying that it's worthy of being redrawn. A person who generates AI images who sees this might think 'well, this is a reason to keep doing this - artists are drawing these pieces because they're good.' Those people might not be looking at these redraws as proof that AI is unethical, they might just think that it's proof that AI is good. After all, these artists are drawing an AI-generated image at the end of the day.

For another thing, AI is, at its core, an amalgamation of real artworks stolen from real artists. That's a huge part of why many people hate it so much. So, if an artist is 'stealing from AI', isn't it similar to justifying AI's own thievery? Someone who steals a jewel from a jewel thief to condemn stealing hasn't fixed the crime. This issue is a little more muddy since these AI images aren't exact replicas of real artist's work (aka there's no real way to return the hypothetical stolen jewel to its original owner) but it is something to think about.

Lastly, I have seen a lot of people redrawing AI characters - mainly ones seen on Pinterest - and coming up with original characters based on the AI's design. This one I feel the most conflicted on, because I have felt indignant at seeing AI designs and the subsequent 'mine now' idea (especially because some of the images are actually frustratingly cool), but I think that this thought process is the most dangerous because the lines of originality and AI become very blurred;is the character truly yours if you lifted the design from AI? And does that prove that AI has value in that manner?

These questions and issues I've presented about stealing from AI have troubled me for a long time, and frankly, I don't have a sure answer - it's certainly powerful to see new life being breathed into a soulless image by those with true passion and skill, and one of the starkest ways that the differences between AI-generated pictures and real artists can be shown. It's artists saying "We're not scared of your AI images, because we can do it better." It's a beacon of hope that artists aren't going to quietly ignore or accept this usurping of our own souls in favor of the destructive and easy way. It's giving AI generators a taste of their own medicine - "You stole from us, so we'll steal from you."

But does it taint us as well to prove these truths by burying our own hands into the mud to fight with those rolling in it?

I'd love to see your thoughts on this matter.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

I was wondering, what's your interpretation of tTPD as a whole?. I know a lot of people think it's a 31 album dedicated to one main muse minus 2 songs for his ex long term relationship but i was curious about your thoughts.

Also, some theorists are talking about a potential 10 years situationship between taylor and one muse and it makes me feel... weird. Because she was committed to someone else and i don't know how to feel knowing the other muse could be in some of my fave albums... sorry for the long rant

So there’s a lot going on here and it’s nuanced.

I don’t think it’s as simple as “it’s all about one person minus two songs.” There are several muses woven in both the text and subtext of the songs. And what happened with one muse in many cases was only possible because what happened with another. There are some songs that are explicitly about specific people’s actions, but overall things get muddy because situations are muddy.

This is a cop out answer, but ultimately to me the album is about Taylor. It’s about her pain and grief and trauma and also healing and recovery and joy. To reduce it to a man in particular discounts that she is the main character of her own life and story.

I do not think the story she put down in TTPD is one of a decade long situationship. As I said yesterday, I will gladly change my mind if new information comes to light. The story I picked up in TTPD is one where someone entered her life at a very vulnerable time, exploited their shared history to sow the seeds of this fantasy life to her that she was desperately grieving in her very real current life, which caused her to play revisionist history with her memories because she needed to make it “real” to herself as an escape hatch.

But even if that isn’t the case, and if it turns out that yes, she was pining for this person for ten years… it doesn’t take away from the fact that her past music is excellent, regardless of the inspiration. IMO fans would be better served to not always recall the muses when listening to music for their enjoyment. I know Taylor’s music is different because her life is so well documented and she used to be so open about who she was writing about, but very few artists do that and their music still hits. I don’t think at all about the artists’ lives when listening to any other band; hell, even in well-known messy situations like Fleetwood Mac, I’m not thinking about Stevie and Mick, I’m thinking that Landslide is beautiful and Rhiannon is a banger or whatever. If you think too much about the artists’ personal lives, you’re gonna get twisted in knots and may find there are few people you can listen to, because humans are fallible and messy and make mistakes. Like Taylor says, once the songs are out in the world, they’re not hers anymore, and you need to ascribe your own meaning to them.

Which is not to say I wasn’t surprised when I first figured out who she was writing about when I listened to TTPD, and yes the first few listens of the album made my head spin a bit for the lore of it all, but i truly listen to it like any other album now. It’s good music plain and simple.

What I’m trying to say is that you have to set your own boundaries I guess. If it really bothers you then you don’t have to listen to or engage with it. But personally I’m also not going to moralize Taylor’s or anyone else’s music because she’s human just like any of us and we all make choices in our lives. She was just brave enough to share the mess. It’s not a condoning of her actions because she doesn’t need my or anyone else’s approval for her choices. She’s recording a moment of time in her life and turned it into art, and now it takes on new meaning for listeners.

(Also if people are moralizing her choices because of the “commitment” thing well… I think they weren’t picking up on other parts of the album but. Well.)

Also my pet peeve is that I hate the word “theory” when applied to real people. They’re humans with lives, not characters in a TV show. This isn’t directed at you anon, just a general sentiment.

[livseses]

Oopsies! We didn't manage to get our thoughts written up before this post went quiet.

@sysmedsaresexist I hope it's okay to tag you on this, if not, we'll go ahead and delete (feel free to DM us)

We wanted to thank y'all for taking the time to indulge our curiosity. We really appreciated it! Genuinely.

We started to get defensive about endogenic communities with Signal and Quill, but

they don’t speak their personal experiences as if they’re gospel truth for all systems

Uh... yeah. We needed to do that. We've had wonderful experiences from plural spaces and bad ones from CDD spaces. But, that's our experience. It'd be shitty of us to get all confrontational and try to tell y'all how to feel about your experiences with those spaces.

And I think that we generally agree on a whole hell of a lot. Some of that defensiveness came from the just ridiculousness of universalizing. Like, we personally find soulbonding and tulpamancy stuff to be really helpful. We'll share that fact and recommend it when asked, but saying that every system needs to do these things to improve their system is absurd! It seems so obviously absurd to us that it felt hyperbolic. But like, that's us trying to speak our personal experiences as gospel truth.

We're going to be a bit more careful with sharing the things that help us. We already do it for how DBT helps us, CBT hurts us, and why, for instance. Or the limitations we've encountered with EMDR. If tulpamancy is another kind of therapy for us, well, we should be more cognizant of those pros and cons.

Really liked Robo's answer (feel free to DM us if you wanna chat more in depth)! We could go on about some of our speculating about plurality, trauma, and CDDs. We'll save that for another time though :D

A phrasing Robo used though really sticks out:

"endogenic CDDs" are a completely separate concept from "endogenic systems with CDDs."

This bit of nuance I think gets lost in the mix often enough. And it leads to a lot of the confusion, misinfo, and hostility. We've seen a lot of the "welllll technically" kind of counter hypotheticals brought up. While we're inclined agree with those, it's a bit of nuance that can really muddy the water.

Maybe to build on what Robo said about it never being clear cut and easy to understand: Aspects of a person/system's experience aren't always separable into neat categories. Maybe one person feels that some trait or behavior they have comes from their performance of gender, and another says the exact same things come from their neurotype. Our ADHD messes with our memory and so does our DID. From the inside, at the internal experience level, it's hard, if not impossible, to fully separate them.

And Dude, we're really glad you have these mods to support you, and really glad to see your attitude of self-determination. We love to see it and hope more people can adopt it.

I've posted from the beginning about how a lot of things that endogenic systems talked about were actually really normal in DID systems. [...] it's unfortunate that sometimes this confuses systems that are still learning.

This is kinda why we asked this question, or maybe why that question is on our mind a lot in conversations about plurality. We flip flopped a lot after our syscovery as to how we viewed ourselves. Folks saying that the two are so utterly different that there's zero overlap. Folks saying that the things you mentioned can't ever happen in CDD systems, and in turn, that we should keep out of CDD spaces.

(We personally have some hesitancy on the reliance of "hard" tests for mental health stuff. Something about a concern that those tests will have false negatives. But we can talk about that more elsewhere if you're interested in continuing that conversation.)

But thank you for taking the time to answer this ask regardless. We really appreciate it, and we hope others do too. We hope that information gets out there and more folk can balance that attitude of self-determination with understanding their own experiences aren't universal.

(Again, if you'd rather not have this post around, let us know and we'll remove it)

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Be Careful of Bad Men

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors. Slightly Suggestive.

Mai: “Kicho, do you have any plans for the following days?”

I asked about his schedule when he returned from the bath.

Mai: “I might be able to take a day off, so if you’re free, um...”

Kicho: “Is that an invitation for a date?”

Mai: “Yes. Is it too sudden?”

I looked at him with a hopeful expression, thinking he would refuse.

Kicho: “I was actually thinking of asking you to the festival at a nearby shrine.”

Mai: “Really!?”

Kicho: “Yeah, if you’re interested, why don’t we go?”

Mai: “Okay!”

(Yay, I’m going to the festival with Kicho!)

Kicho: “You look happy. Do you like festivals?”

Mai: “That’s part of it, but I’m also excited to go with you.”

Kicho: “Mai...”

Kicho: “You really say the cutest things.”

Smiling, Kicho gave me a gentle kiss, and I accepted it, feeling excited about our date.

However一

Mai: “It’s raining again.”

I sighed as I looked up at the pouring sky.

Because of the rain, the area around the shrine got all muddy, so they had to cancel the festival.

Kicho: “It’s too bad about the festival. You were probably looking forward to it.”

Mai: “I can’t control the weather, so it can’t be helped.”

Mai: “I’m happy to stay in this room as long as I’m with you.”

I put on a smile so as not to show my disappointment.

Kicho: “Don’t worry, Mai. I’ll make sure we can go to the festival.”

Mai: “But there won’t be any festivals for a while.”

Kicho: “It’s your wish, so I’ll make it come true no matter what it takes.”

I felt like his eyes briefly gleamed mysteriously.

Mai: “Kicho?”

Kicho: “But for now, I want to enjoy this moment.”

Mai: “Mm...”

I gently leaned into him on the windowsill as our lips overlapped.

A few days later一

Mai: “What’s this?”

I entered his room when he called me and saw an array of colorful yukatas.

Kicho: “I arranged these for the festival. Choose whichever one you like.”

Mai: “Huh? But the festival was canceled.”

Kicho: “I told you I’d grant your wish.”

Mai: “But what does that mean?”

Kicho: “You’ll find out when we go.”

He gave me a meaningful smile while I was still feeling confused.

That same day, he took me to a castle.

Kicho: “The festival is being held here.”

Mai: “Huh? A festival in a castle!?”

(I’ve never heard of that before.)

I tilted my head in confusion as the townspeople passed through the castle gate, one after another.

Kicho: "Mai, let's go."

Mai: "O-Okay."

I followed him inside the castle, encouraged by his smile.

Mai: "Wow!"

Just as Kicho said, the inside of the castle was lined with stalls, and the corridors and rooms were decorated with lanterns.

Mai: "This is amazing. It really is a festival!"

Kicho: "There are also open-air stalls in the garden. When the sun goes down, they'll have bon dances around the tower."

(It's more elaborate than I thought!)

He smiled knowingly and took my hand.

Kicho: "With this, we can enjoy the festival without worrying about the weather. Let's go."

Mai: "Okay!"

I replied with a smile and walked hand in hand with him through the castle.

That night一

Mai: "That was so fun. I never thought I'd get to carry a mikoshi with you."

Kicho: "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

He fanned me with a festival fan as I got out of the bath.

Mai: "But why was the festival held in the castle?"

Kicho: "The daimyo probably organized the festival for the sake of his people, who were disappointed that the shrine festival got canceled."

He shook the fan with a blank expression on his face.

Mai: "Huh? But the owner of that castle sounds familiar. Wait, he's your business partner."

Kicho: "That's just a coincidence."

(Is it really just a coincidence?)

Mai: "Did you arrange the festival?"

Kicho: "Do you really think a mere merchant could have that much power?"

Mai: "I don't know, but you said you'd make my wish come true no matter what it takes."

Mai: "If that's the case, maybe you did something behind the scenes."

Kicho: "I won't go into details, but I've decided to make anything impossible possible if it's what you want."

He told me this with a bright smile.

Mai: "You're quite the schemer, aren't you?"

Kicho: "Do you hate bad guys?"

Mai: "Of course not."

Kicho: "Then was it a nuisance?"

He stopped fanning and peered into my face.

(He probably used some pretty forceful methods.)

(I feel bad for making him do something like that for my sake, but...)

Mai: "Nope. Just happy and embarrassed."

I shook my head and honestly conveyed my feelings.

He made our festival date a reality because he was thinking of me. It was an undeniable fact, and I felt his love for me.

Kicho: "I see."

With a happy expression, he narrowed his eyes and kissed me.

Mai: "Mmm...!"

The tip of his tongue slipped between my lips and melted into my mouth.

When our lips parted, he softly lifted me up.

Kicho: "From here on, it's just the two of us."

The feverish voice whispering in my ear stimulated the pit of my stomach, making my heart race like it was about to burst.

He gently laid me down on the bed and kissed me deeply again.

Mai: "Nnn...haa..."

He teased my earlobe between our kisses, causing a shiver to run through my shoulders.

Even though his touch was gentle, my body heated up from that sensation alone.

Eventually, our lips parted, and he gazed at me thoughtfully.

Kicho: "Mai, how do you want me to love you?"

(Huh?)

Mai: "Even if you ask me how, I..."

I looked at him, puzzled, and he reached out and took my hand.

Kicho: "If you want, I could shower affection on these adorable hands of yours."

Mai: "Hyaa..."

He kept his eyes on me, kissed my fingers, and gently licked them.

Kicho: "Or I could be bolder than that and shower you with kisses all over your body."

Mai: "Nn...ahh..."

He kissed my collarbone, and a tingling sensation spread from that spot.

He smiled slightly and gently untied my obi.

Kicho: "Do you prefer the feeling of my fingers caressing your body? Or maybe you prefer to be touched here?"

Mai: "A-Ahh..."

He slid his hand over my thigh and teased the sensitive spot between my legs.

Kicho: "Does this spot look good to you?"

He stroked my skin and asked this seductively.

(What should I do? This is so embarrassing.)

I blushed, unable to answer due to shame. Suddenly, I noticed a cloud pass over his face.

Kicho: "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

(Huh?)

He withdrew his hand, playing with my skin, and kissed me on the ear.

Kicho: "I just want to fulfill all your wishes."

Kicho: "When it comes to you, I seem to lose control."

Mai: "Kicho."

My heart was filled with love as I gazed into his eyes.

Mai: "Please don't apologize. I want you to love me as you wish."

Kicho: "Is that okay with you?"

Mai: "Yes. Accepting your feelings is the greatest happiness for me."

Kicho: "Mai..."

He called my name tenderly, his lips forming a smile.

Kicho: "Hearing such words from you makes it even harder for me to hold back."

Kicho: “I apologize in advance if I push you too far tonight."

Mai: "Nn…"

The bed loudly creaked as he dropped a biting kiss.

(I want to accept both his gentle and intense love.)

We embrace each other tightly, confirming our passion and feelings in the deepest part of ourselves.

[foxglove-garden]

I don't know if I am ever actually going to like talk about this again on any of my blogs but I'm technically not a binary trans man.

I often simplify my identity to just "FTM", "trans man" or "transmasculine", but to be completely honest, I'm demi masculine and nonbinary, but just heavily masculine leaning.

I have the demiboy symbol tattooed on my ankle, and I don't plan on getting it covered or changed anytime soon despite the fact that I usually refer to myself as just a transgender man instead of elaborating, because to me it is more accurate of a description for myself.

I identified as non-binary starting at the time I was like 16 years old until I came out as transmasculine at 24 (also should probably mention that I was diagnosed with an intersex variation at 22, which also affected how I viewed my gender identity in a lot of ways), and I still have a lot of nuances and fluidity to my gender, though none of that could be described as feminine or female. The closest that I really get to feminine or female is feeling kind of like a femboy or girlboy, but even that is pretty heavily leaning towards the "boy" side of things.

I guess the best way that I can describe it is that everyone's gender is like a different color in a crayon box, and if binary male was classic Blue, my gender would be more like dark teal or almost emerald green. Like, the blue is definitely there and it almost looks blue, but there's a bit of green in there and it's kind of dark and muddy.

I don't think that this really makes a lot of difference whenever it comes to things on my page but I feel like it's important to me so I wanted to mention it.

I'm a guy. But I'm also non-binary. I'm a non-binary guy. And there's really nothing that weird about that at all.

I know that most people are used to people who are younger identifying as non-binary and either growing out of it or just keeping quiet about it, so I really want to just normalize that I am almost 30, I have children and a family, I use primarily he him pronouns but also sometimes they or it, and I'm a non-binary man.

Just wanted to say that so that other people hopefully don't feel like the only people who are older than 25 with slightly unconventional or mogai identities. You aren't alone. We exist.

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

Hi, dropping in on your inbox again because Tumblr started complaining about the lenght of my comment. (Foreign language takes many words!)

Once again, ignoring the glaring favoritism (which imho hurts both tb&tg, only in different ways), it's the wasted potential of what we could have had that's so frustrating with hotd.

What makes the whole naming thing so infuriating is that when done well, the way characters use each others's names adds so much nuance to story telling and is easily one of my favorite things in stories and when writing. You can tell so much about the relationship and feelings between two people from how they address each other. Similarly, when done poorly (like so many things in s2) it becomes yet another one of those small details that keep adding up and making this season such a painful mess to watch, because it either makes the characters look bad due to incompetence (for example: Alicent isn't suppose to look like she doesn't care about the death of her grandson but ends up looking uncaring due to poor writing choices) or, if purposeful (Alicent is made to look bad to the audience via writing choices that heavily make it seem like she doesn't care about the death of her grandson), due to pure malice.

Small side-tandrum, but it would have been so interesting to hear some variations on how, say, Aegon calls Jaehaerys when it's just him and Hel and the kids (and the servants in Hel's room, but to royalty they are pretty much just part of the furniture) because I will forever headcanon that Aegon has some dumb (affectionate) nicknames to all of his family members, and how Aegon addresses him during the council meetings. We got a glimpse of that from the way Aegon kept inforcing the fact that Jaehaerys is his heir and just that small detail added so much to his character because it shows the open wound of Vizzy's neglect. Aegon is hellbent on making sure his own son feels wanted and loved - the things he never got to feel. This is the level of character depth something seemingly so small as a name or the way a character calls another can add and it's these glimpses of something really good that makes this show so infuriating. If it was just plainly bad I wouldn't be clawing my eyes off out of frustration when watching it. But there are these small moments of greatness that show what the story had the potential for. They're just muddied by all the not-great-stuff. :/

Getting back to the story not allowing Jaehaerys & Jaehaera to have names and therefore being distanced from the audience on purpose. My kindest, most generous interpretation* on what the writers maybe were trying to do with Helaena & Alicent is that both of these women are trying to dissociate from the trauma of Jaehaerys's death(would work so much better with Alicent had they gone the book route but no, of course we could not have that 🙄). But that only really works when you've given the audience enough many times beforehand where they do use the child's name. Only then will the audience feel the impact of them suddenly being unable to utter the name, only referring to Jaehaerys as 'boy'. Because the memory of what happened to him and the knowledge that he is no more, is too painful. This is a real thing that people do, it's a coping mechanism, but the story failed to communicate this properly. It didn't give Jaehaerys's death the time and the weight that it should have had and that in addition to there being barely any time with helaegon family together before B&C, robs his death the impact, both political and emotional, that it should have had. The way it's done now just adds to the feeling that no-one apart from Aegon & Hel cares about their son ;_; and definitely does make it feel, like you said, that the writers just wanted us to forget the brutal child murder that no-one in universe seems to remember in a few weeks anyways (honestly, time has no concept in this season).

And as for Jaehaera, I just want to cry, she's such an important part of the Dance, especially towards the end, and they're giving her nothing, not even a name! There are so many ways they could have added to her character, even without having the very young child actor on screen. Maybe show her having some similar collection to Helaena's when Aegon comes to look for Jaehaerys. Make Jaehaera collect, I don't know, pretty rocks or feathers or something equally cool and creepy to her mom, maybe instead of bugs it's skulls or something. It doesn't matter what it is, but with that small visual cue they then could have build on that. Have Aegon slip her something new for her collection when he comes in and later have him pass something to a servant when coming in and saying it's for Jaehaera. They could have shown both tg characters caring for her and what her name is with such easy ways. This is elementary levels of story telling, ideas I would have pounced around with any author who'd come to me with their 1st or 2nd draft. Not in a you must do this but in a consider adding something like this to communicate these vital things about the character. Such simple, easy fixes, but instead now we're heading to s3 with most general audience probably not knowing who Jaehaera is. ;_;

*(still looking at this through my prof. editor brain because this was such a glaringly 1st draftiest 1st draft I've ever seen, only they went and filmed that)

Hi, hope you are having a good day! You are always welcome in my askbox whether with a question or with a wonderful bouquet of your thoughts😊

Well, you have basically said it all! Whether it is the matter of ineptitude or malicious intent (or both), season 2 has ruined many characters and just as many potentially wonderful relationship bonds. And the consequences of poor writing choices (making the story about Rhaenyra and Alicent, blatantly favouring Black characters while neglecting the Greens and so on) are only exacerbated by the script feeling (truly) like it's a draft and not something to be acted out and filmed for an expensive hit TV series (WGA strike or not, we have what we have).

And I agree with you SO hard: one of the worst things about all this is knowing that many ingredients for the recipe of greatness were there - and that all the hard work, love and dedication put into HotD by the cast and crew have somehow been tarnished and diminished by the incompetence and lack of professionalism from the showrunners.

We really need to do something about it: something like getting Condal, Hess and their gang the hell out of the writing room and putting some of the people from the fandom there (including you! I love your thoughts on the details you would have added to the script so much!).

[demigodsanswer]

I never read the books thinking of the gods as parents or as people who want to be parents. I got a kind of parenting vibe from Poseidon and Hades towards Percy and Nico, but that seemed to be because they were their only kids, and also vital pieces to those gods achieving their own ends. So idk why the show is placing so much emphasis on parenting, particularly with Hermes.

I’ve always read it as the demigods, because they are human, wishing the gods could be parents to them, but learning again and again that the gods aren’t human. Not only can they fundamentally not fill that role, they don’t even particularly want to fill that role. And sometimes they feel bad about it, but mostly it’s increasingly clear that demigods are just tools for them.

And that’s why Percy tells them to pay their child support in the end. Because the demigods shouldn’t just be tools, even if the gods can never be parents. The gods are complicated, but they aren’t human.

The show can’t seem to make up its mind about where it stands with the gods, humans, monsters, and demigods, and not in a careful nuanced way. More in a “things are rushed and don’t make narrative sense” way.

By adding in this parenting angle, and by adding character background (May) and gods (Hermes and Hephaestus) way earlier than we meet them in the books, we end up muddling the themes, rather than pacing them out so that it actually emerges as nuance and world building. When you have five, ten, fifteen books you can really spread that out and find those layers. But the show seems to be shoving as much in as it can from the jump, muddying the waters.

It also makes me worry that they aren’t confident how many seasons they will get if they feel the need to introduce book five stuff now.

[nalyra-dreaming]

re: Louis planning on leaving with Claudia, I have a hard time seeing that too. I doubt he would've enjoyed third-wheeling Claudeleine. But then again, if he HAD been thinking of breaking up with Armand for any reason, it's 100% something Armand would've felt the need to suppress within the tale by any means possible. Otherwise it would've been so glaringly obvious that he was the one who caused the trial. I think it's entirely possible he's wiped a few of Louis' memories around this time (and/or clipped some things from the diary) to muddy the waters. It may not be that Louis was leaving him, but something else?

Possibly.

I mean… given what we know in-universe already and from the episode insiders?

Anything is possible. Armand is always trying to steer.

So whatever we will see now… will have to be seen under that aspect *shrugs*

I don’t know what exactly it could be tbh. I will have to look at the details of the trial.

We DO have outstanding actors - so the nuance in their performance will give us hints. Afterwards ^^

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

Tell me about his big spectacular movie, which I thought was incredible. [Ferguson eyes me suspiciously, a dubious look, which sort of throws me off]

No, really, it’s really immense. And there’s so much moral complexity to it, which I kept finding myself writing in my notes. Why did you write morally complex? Why did that kick in?

Uhh, me? Well, quickly, with blockbusters, we often expect big triumphs and clear delineations of good and evil, and this gets muddied with a lot of people playing a kind of strategic intergalactic geo-political chess, which I think your character is definitely doing. Yeah, yeah. Could you just take the quote there and just put it on me instead? Say, Rebecca said that? That would be amazing, thank you [laughs].

But to be honest, I think you nailed it, and that’s what we, actors, love about these roles and working with Denis. It’s not the simplicity of good vs. evil. It is always the moral imbalance of a human being, you know? Even if you’re out in space and the stakes or high or whatever is there. That’s what makes it—the shades, the nuances.

Sure, I would say that this film pushes it as far as you possibly can with a blockbuster; you start to question your allegiance to seemingly heroic characters. It’s interesting. I think that’s really fascinating, and I think I’m going to have to, after these interviews, think about it. And I think you’re right. There were moments where, Oh gosh, I can’t go into it too much, but I remember talking to Denis and thinking, “Oh my god, she’s so driven by her belief!” You know if I were my own daughter, I’d be going sod off, stop it!” Like I felt this eagerness to separate, to cut the umbilical cord, but I obviously have to love my character and understand her.

It made it easier understanding the world of the Fremen—without giving anything away in that sense—but when she becomes a reverend mother, all of the information handed down into her, all the layers that she needs to carry inside, is something that she needs to deal with as well, whether she loves it or not.

That’s one of the key elements to me of the movie: characters like yours and Paul’s who are making difficult choices and ones that could even possibly alienate the audience, like the choice Paul has to make with Chani at the end... You’re basically comparing the inner journey of my character architecturally designing war and Timothee choosing between two women [laughs]. I think he has bigger issues than that, buddy! [laughs]. But I think you’re right; it’s within your choice, and reason comes the fall of simple love, the domino effect of a higher stake. And that’s, I think, is the brutality with which the character of Jessica needs to penetrate through him. It’s the play is bigger than your emotions.

I was going to ask if it’s hard playing these choices, but when you think of her as a mother-to-be, again, maybe the protective nature of all of it makes more sense. [Shakes her head in agreement] I think one of the difficulties I had tapping into, which was challenging, was that I’m not religious at all. And I would say that Jessica is somewhat, or becomes, a fundamentalist, right? In her belief. And it is so completely the opposite of who I am as a human being. So tapping into it and embracing it and understanding it was a really interesting journey for me, internally.

For sure, there’s a fervor of fundamentalist, but at the same time, I sort of read some of her behavior as a chess move of protection to make sure the Fremen are on her and Paul’s side. It all seems too tenuous for them. Yeah, that’s what’s interesting, isn’t it? It’s how you interpret, and I agree, but I also believe the moves that are made are made on a pillar of actual belief. What she actually believes in her son, what he is, it’s a very strong belief, call it fundamentalist or just call it very strong belief. The point is that, this is her mission throughout the entire duration of this world is to push forth her belief.

Right, well, then, were you ever concerned about your character coming across as… I dunno, scheming? Duplicitous? The Bene Gesserit aren’t evil, but it’s maybe fair to say they have their own hidden agenda. Yeah, they do, and it’s a little bit like back in the day, isn’t it? I compare it a bit to when I did “The White Queen” [TV series] back in the day, and it was a chess game. The men were out in the battlefields, and the women were plotting the houses. You marry France, that’s a good alliance—but I don’t love him!— surdoué, better army, stronger bonds. It’s sort of like [make little noise like moving figures], the plotting, the chess games, right? It’s kind of what the sisterhood is all about. So the question is, is this what we have had [all along], even if it’s a science-fiction, action film,  based on the idea and the idealism of what we have in society, which is women are at home and plotting the stronger bonds and the bigger fight. But what’s nice is here, we have a mixture because Denis lets women onto the battlefield as well, and that’s what’s so wonderful: we’re mixing it.

This film ends the way it ends— let’s call it a cliffhanger. But it teases so much more, a holy war, a daughter for your character. I assume you want to see more and potentially play opposite your daughter at some point in the future? I mean, I do, but… there’s never just a yes or a no. I’m very much what’s on the page, the story needs to be there, there needs to be reason. But it’s Denis. Denis wouldn’t write something that I wouldn’t want to be in. I love him. I think he is exquisite, he’s exquisite as a director, I think he is so creative. I think he is so smart, and especially when he talks about how the world is going the way the studio lies, and the creative freedom that is gradually taken away from us. I know what he wants, which means I believe in him.

So if it came [to a sequel], of course, I’d want to, but also, I want to take my character into a place that’s interesting to me. There’s always the balance. If you’re going to dedicate your four months to something, it needs to be worth it, right?

I need to wrap up, but I wanted to quickly ask you about “Mission Impossible” and your character’s death, which I thought was fitting with the film thematically—the idea that Ethan may lose everyone he loves in this mission and the great cost of it all—I wanted to hear how you felt about it. Was it bittersweet? I think, for me, when they came to me with the offer, and I said I wasn’t interested, that was the result; it was very much what was planned in my schedule. And how it was executed was very much, umm, an interpretation for everyone. I guess I [would] wish my husband would grieve me more than Ethan did [makes a cheeky clacking with her jaw]

To be honest, with that said, cheekiness aside, I believe that Chris McQuarrie and Tom [Cruise] make fantastic films and they are always wanting to go in directions that are unexpected, and darker, and interesting.

So when the relationship came to a point where—there was not more to be done really with Ilsa, and we have three picture deals in Hollywood, and when they come up, we as actors have the decision to say yes or no to a continued offer; they will make a good, something dramatic out of it, and all I can do is embrace it.

I hope people enjoyed it; I know a lot of people didn’t, and I know there are a lot of articles out there— and I’m not the writer. I do my job, and I do it as well as I can, and I serve the character because I think Chris wrote a fantastic character. And I’m so honored and grateful that I got to play her.

[lbhslefttiddie]

PLEASE tell me about your scent headcanons for MOTT

I'm not gonna include all the details, bc some are for characters who have not even properly appeared and some are spoilers and some are simply still up for tweaking!! that being said...

(excerpts from the Flavour Profile Document below--obviously, this also contains spoilers for Mouse On The Thorn up to ch 15, and some hints at things in the future, specifically regarding sy's scent)

for each character, first i decided elements, then scents, then any additional details or nuances to the scent (ie yqy: water and earth -> wet dirt -> petrichor). there also variances which reach outside their set element(s) for certain situations (ie yqy's ozone scent) and notes for outside influences (such as suppressants). i made up like a whole fucking chart in my brain for why who was what element(s), but that's a lengthy, separate topic lmao

Shen Qingqiu:

Element: wood

Base scent: grass and osmanthus

Notes: smells like rotting vegetation when deeply distressed (ie sad/hurt/scared), smells dry/burnt when extremely angry. leans more to the grassy side than the flowery; the grass, specifically, is almost like bamboo, which sqq himself muses could be mere coincidence, or him being shaped, somewhat, by his environment

the fake scent he uses emulates the scent of a very irritated beta--the scent itself is even fainter than the pheromones its meant to emulate, and the only POV who might even be able to pick it out is lbh, but the scent is almost like bitter almonds (cyanide lol)

Shen Yuan:

Element: wood

Base scent: grass and osmanthus

Notes: like sqq, scent turns to rot in distress. More on the flowery side; particularly, when he is extremely content or aroused (or in heat), he smells like osmanthus wine

(worth noting here: sy was born on the day of the Mid-Autumn Festival)

Is scent hereditary? Are spiritual elements hereditary? I have no idea! Sqq and sy could smell similar bc they are related, or bc they come from the same background, or bc of wacky coincidence. It's more compelling this way, so we'll figure that out later

while still using suppressants he smells almost identical to an unpresented pup, if with a slightly staler quality to it

Yue Qingyuan:

Element: water, earth

Base scent: rain and earth

Notes: yqy is, even for alphas, particularly noseblind, such that he has no idea what he himself smells like, but sqq notes that he often smells specifically like the first rain after a time of dryness (petrichor). When sad, he smells just kinda wet and pathetic, like a long heavy downpour (geosmin). When angry or in serious combat, he smells like right before a storm (ozone). Smell leans more earthy during rut

Mu Qingfang:

Element: wood, earth

Base scent: roots, clay

Notes: Beta scents are fainter and tend to carry less nuance in emotive ability, which works in mqf's favour for the most part. That being said, mqf's scent takes on somewhat muddy quality with upset

Zhao Jie:

Element: earth, metal

Base scent: scalpel

Notes: most metals don't actually have a smell, particularly not the kinds used for scalpels, but zj's scent has a particularly cool and sharp quality to it that calls the idea of them to mind nonetheless

Luo Binghe:

Element: fire, wood

Base scent: smoke, sunshine, lotus

Notes: more smoke when angry/upset, more sunny when happy. Takes on a slighty spicy tinge when Interested

the smoke part itself is a lot less noticeable before his demonic seal is unlocked

Do demons have elemental roots...??? Regardless, i will be designing their scents as though they do

Ning Yingying:

Element: water, metal

Base scent: mineral water

Notes: when high-energy, the scent smells cooler, like a refreshing mountain stream, and when lower-energy the scent is warmer, like hot springs, and is a little bit saltier, too

She hasn't actually presented yet, so obv you cant actually smell any of these things on her yet, but that's the general plan