#now transcribed

[my-big-fat-aesthetic-blog]

We’re Fat … posted by Nikki Garza

[royalarchivist]

Phil: I'm pausing alerts.

Tubbo: [In the video, reading Phil's message] "Invite the old Egg admins so we can harass them." Phil– alright, I'll send out the emote.

Phil: So, if you d- if you didn't catch that, I recommended– 'cuz he's wanting people to play on the server– I recommended inviting the old Egg admins onto [Tubbo's] server, and then allowing the creators who used to work with them on QSMP– me, and Toby– to just log on and just fck with them. I th- I think that's pretty solid! [Replays the clip in the background] I think that's pretty solid. You know? They had- they had- they had the- the shoe on their foot for a while, it's now our turn. [Laughs]

Tubbo: [In the video] Alright, I can do it.

Phil: I just think that would be very funny. Give me OP!

Tubbo: [In the video, reading Phil's message] "I'd love to fck with them like they did to us."

Phil: Yup. Give me OP! Just- just give me OP, and amazing- amazing time- times will happen. It's uh- here we go– [Laughs] Chat, you gotta admit, you gotta admit, that is a pretty funny idea. Like, they're just vibing and just trying to have a good time, and then somebody logs on– "Oh, who's that? I wonder who that is."

Phil: [Reading Ama's message in chat] "That's cheating" it's not cheating, it's funny. It's very funny. You had- YOU HAD OP! HOLD ON- hold on– Ama, you had OP, you're not s- you're not really proposing that this is cheating, are you? That I– Are we just forgetting all the dragon magic moments? Jesus Christ. [Laughs]

[agni-ashes]

i’m. im going insane over this.

transcript under the cut!

martyn: "i talk about my fears to- so that i can face them! well, get rid of them at least"

jimmy: "you're gonna have to face it now! *laughs*

martyn: "well i'll tell you now, what i'll do, is once your build exceeds this build by one block in terms of height, i will come and slaughter you and push you down to third life and then, we'll just stop proceedings"

jimmy: "we're on- we're on new life. i don't- that was two years ago, martyn! get over it, it was two years ago! third life was two years ago!"

martyn: "... third life never ended for me."

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Wear Headphones :]

Transcript:

Mmh- I... Oh wow. Ahgh! Mmph! I'm gonna GET SILLY. ALL OVER.

Ah-ghg. *exhale* Fuh-fuck. Heh-heh... I got too silly.

End Transcription

*coughs* this was actually going to be a comic but I Don't Have Time For All That. So if you want to see the incomprehensible version its below *coughs*

And heres v1 staring at fuckin nothin if you want it for some reason??

Since this is a lot of clips here is the audio source dumping ground (not in order)

Clip 1

Clip 2

Clip 3

[beemo-clippin]

A compilation of Etho reacting to his 2011 1k subscriber special.

Clipped from the 1 million sub special, "Etho Plays Minecraft - Episode 283: 1 Million!" (starting at 28:40)

Feedback:

This was my first time doing captioning so please do let me know if there’s anything that can be improved! Even if it’s style-wize bc I’m bad at that stuff.

And as always, let me know if I can improve my video descriptions or transcriptions :)

Video description and transcription below cut:

Video description:

Etho's first-person POV in his 2011 Minecraft Let's Play world. It is night and Etho is on a beach as he introduces the video as well as a celebratory tree sapling placed near the water. The video is a screen recording, and 2013 Etho commentates over it, but is unseen.

———

Cut to a new clip in the same setting. It is nighttime and Etho places a torch on a path of dirt blocks, lighting the area. The dirt blocks connect to the top of the tree, now grown, with a mob trap on top (a pressure plate surrounded by 4 doors). Etho walks through the trap and down some dirt steps. He walks around the dim-lit beach as older Etho laughs at him.

———

Cut to a new clip in the same setting. It is day now and Etho is on top of the tree, trying to lead a creeper into the mob trap. He breaks the door closest to the creeper, the creeper jumps and Etho backs away. The creeper explodes, bringing Etho to three and a half hearts, and destroying the top of the tree. As older Etho reacts in amusement, young Etho looks at the tree in shock, opens his inventory, drops a dirt block, and jumps down to the beach. A zombie floats in the water, and Etho tries to attack it with his sword, but is killed by the zombie.

———

Cut to a new clip in the same setting. It is day and Etho stands on the beach looking at the tree. The leaves have been reconstructed with wool and the entire thing is on fire. Etho jumps around as he watches the wool burn away. A piece of TNT is revealed in the center of the tree, and when lit by the fire, it explodes in a flurry of white and black particles, taking a chunk of the beach with it. Etho walks over and looks down at the destruction as older Etho pauses the video in amusement.

———

Transcription:

Young Etho: Hello everyone. Etho here again with episode nine of our Let's Play minecraft adventures

Etho: Ah, the voice is so different

Young Etho: And uh, before we can do anything this episode... I noticed, I just passed one thousand subscribers on YouTube

Etho: Oh, don't rub your nose

Young Etho: A thousand!

Etho: Woww

Young Etho: I'm blown away

Etho: Me too!

Young Etho: Over a thousand people willingly choose to watch me do crazy, stupid stuff in this game

Etho: *chuckles*

Young Etho: And I think that is just awesome

Etho: I don't know how you did it

Young Etho: So thanks to everybody who's- who is subscribing. And uh, please continue watching. We'll have lots of fun together.

Etho: Mhmm

Young Etho: And, uh, to celebrate the event, I planted this tree

Etho: *laughs*

Young Etho: to commoderate [commemorate] it

Etho: Alright

Young Etho: And...

Etho: Here it comes

Young Etho: It's gonna be a great tree ^-^

Etho: *laughs loudly* Needed a long pause there for emphasis

———

Etho: Yes! And a torch, he placed a torch! *laughs* I love how it's pitch black and you can't see anything.

Young Etho: Okay. So this is where the guest of honor's gonna sit.

Etho: And you've got an inventory full of torches and you're not using them. *laughs*

Young Etho: I really wish we got a better tree out of this, but whatever

Etho: I wish we could see

———

Etho: *laughs loudly* Aww special ruined. I- I was so, so sad. I didn't know what to do. What do I do now?

I- I'm not talking at all. It's just like... I failed. I failed. *laughs*

———

Young Etho: Awesome!!!

Etho: *laughs* Having the time of my life here. And a piece of TNT goes off. *laughs* And that was my special

Young Etho: Party's over, time to clean up

Etho: Aww, so good. *laughs* So good. How things have changed!

———

[fisherrprince]

summore splats

[leolingo]

Cellbit: Hey, i missed you,

Doied: Oh did you? ("apoco si pinche tilín?") Stupid, you left me all alone

Cellbit: No, no. I thought you'd be better off without me. And-- and you are doing good, aren't you?

Doied: Yeah. I'm good--

Cellbit: So there you go

Doied: --I feel brand new! I feel good, I feel brand new.

Cellbit: [quiet for a few seconds] Well, see? Then... maybe it was for the best.

Doied: [changes the subject]

[sesamenom]

Various inhabitants of rivendell

(inspired by @thesummerestsolstice here and here)

[cuthechicane]

jendo miami 2024 compilation featuring:

"lando is very level-headed"

"i reckon lando pole" ;)

"he was in for a fight even without the safety car, very proud of him"

"nico was 111, you were 113, he's beaten you both, how do you feel about that?" "he's just better."

"he's a confident driver, he's very skilled, and he's a team player"

"i don't think there's one person in the world that watches formula one that's upset about that victory"

[formleadsfunction]

Balence/Brnucci stellar combustor arc fancam dot mp3, except I had to make a video out of it because tumblr wouldn't let me upload an audio file, presumably because it didn't appreciate my song choice

this means I had to fight with both audacity which doesn't like me very much AND a video editing software I downloaded specifically for this, please appreciate this

song: Baptized by Fire by Spinnerette | lyrics

transcript under the cut

Austin (as Jesset): You won’t even say the names of the people we lose.

-

Ali (as Broun): I just wanna get out. All I wanna do is go. [exhausted laugh] I don’t—care about the people here—

[song starts]

-

-

Austin (as Gucci): Why do you act like you care about me?

Ali (as Brnine): [muttering] Oh my god.

Austin (as Gucci): ‘Cause you don’t.

Ali (as Brnine): How can you say that?

Austin (as Gucci): You like the patronage. You’ve always liked the patronage.

-

Ali (as Broun): I don’t... wanna see another sunset ever again.

-

Ali (as Brnine): I’m gonna do it.

Austin (as Gucci): [muffled] No. [laughs humorlessly] Brnine.

Ali (as Brnine): We’re gonna do it.

Austin (as Gucci): No.

Ali (as Brnine): I’m gonna do it.

Austin (as Gucci): No. No.

Ali (as Brnine): I’m gonna turn the sun back on—

Austin (as Gucci): You’re gonna turn—

Ali (as Brnine): —and it’s gonna be okay, and they’re not gonna come kill you—

Austin (as Gucci): You’re gonna go turn on the sun.

Ali (as Brnine): Yeah, and people are gonna look at the sky, and know that we can do that.

Austin (as Gucci): You’re gonna go capture the Stellar Combustor.

Ali (as Brnine): Yeah. I’m gonna turn it off.

Austin (as Gucci): We can’t stop you from doing this. I can’t talk you down.

Ali (as Brnine): No.

-

Ali (as Brnine): Should I have ever left home?

-

[a beat of silence for the lyrics: Sailing into the sun / I’ll be baptized there]

-

Austin (as Gucci): You know, they used to put people in these bombs. The, the, the Rapid Evening. This group that used to be part of Stel Kesh, they were like, um—they were like space police? And they would put two people wherever they thought there might be so much trouble that they’d have to blow the whole thing up. And there’d be someone who was holding the detonator, and there’d be somebody else who was the bomb. They had roles, they were in contact, they had intense trust. One person was there to get as much information as they could about what the situation was. One person was there to take action on the ground when they could help keep things from needing to be exploded. Primary and Satellite.

And, I, it’s stupid, but—[laughs softly] when I first started learning about this place, I got it in my head that you and me were like a Primary and a Satellite, the person who could like, be on the ground and get things done, and the person who could see everything. [seething] And I’d excised the bomb from the equation. But here we are, and you’re gonna go climb into the bomb.

-

Ali (as Brnine): I don’t doubt that you care about me. That’s why I don’t ask.

Austin (as Gucci): [strained, soft] I’m going to hold my breath. Like I always do with you.

-

[a beat of silence for the lyrics: I’ll be sailing on / I’m gone, I’m gone / I’ll be sailing on / I’m going into the sun]

-

Austin (narrating): And you hear it from Phrygian, the Stellar Combustor as a thing has been shut down in the Divine Principality.

-

Ali (as Brnine): We have to… we have to let them know that we’re the ones who bloodied their noses.

Austin (as Gucci): Twice.

Ali (as Brnine): Yeah.

Austin (as Gucci): Bloodied their noses? You cut off their heads.

-

Austin (narrating): The knife goes in.

-

Austin (as Gucci): I didn’t know we could cut their heads off.

-

[a beat of silence for the lyrics: Compass needle breaks / Like the heart I gave to you]

-

Ali (as Brnine): It’s been five years. And… I’ve spent my time feeling bad about it. [holding back tears] I think if Valence saw me now, part of them would be proud of me, and I’m happy enough with that.

[royalarchivist]

Tubbo: No no no, Pac– Ok, listen… Have you ever heard of a game called City Skylines? It will change what it means to feel joy.

Pac: Wait wait wait wait– oh my god, you like City Skyline?

Tubbo: Holy sht, I love City Skylines! Have you played City Skylines?

Fit:

Tubbo reminds Pac you don't need drugs to be happy – all you need is City Skylines 2 (and a friend to nerd out with 😅)

[angelbitezzz]

You guys get a little non-specific spoilers as a treat

[ryanguzmansource]

Full Audio Transcript (6.17.24)

The following episode contains potentially disturbing content and we want to alert trauma survivors. It contains material that for some may be difficult to discuss or listen to.

This is He Said, Ella Dijo with Eric Winter (EW) and Rosalind Sanchez (RS).

RS: Como estas, Eric?

EW: Oh, bien bien, and you?

RS: Hoy tenemos una persona muy especial, mi gente. Guys, we are, I know you don't, but you're learning. We are excited about our guest today. He's an actor currently on ABC's 911, which is a huge show.

EW: In the ABC family.

RS: Yes, you may know him from Step Up dance films or from playing the sexy boy next door opposite Jennifer Lopez.

EW: That's right, we have Ryan Guzman. He's here with us today to talk about his new film, The Present, out tomorrow. We're excited not only to dive into his career, but so many other personal things he's opened up about—mental health, his career, so many other things he's been talking about. So let's bring him in.

RS: Yeah, looking forward to Ryan Guzman.

Ryan Guzman (RG): How you guys doing? You guys sweating in that room?

EW: Yeah, man, it's been hot in here. We don't want that air running because you're gonna hear it in the background. So we're just like, this is all for you, Ryan. We're just gonna be sweating the whole podcast.

RS: My armpits almost stink, I hate it!

EW: Yeah, that's great. Great way to open up the podcast.

RS: It’s terrible. Anyways, we're so happy that you are joining us. Thank you so much for doing this.

EW: Yeah, fellow ABC star now. I know you guys jumped over from Fox. You're now on the network where I'm at.

RG: Yeah.

EW: How's that transition been? Has it been weird? I've never been a part of a show that jumped networks. Did it feel totally seamless to you?

RG: Honestly, I've never been a part of something like this either. I mean, I've been on four other TV shows and this one—it felt like a revamp for our show. So it's just like, as soon as we went from Fox to ABC, all of this promotional that we've never even seen in six seasons happened.

EW: Yeah, like a relaunch almost.

RG: Yeah, it was a relaunch. So it was, you know, a blessing. We're all grateful for it.

EW: Which is great. You guys came out with a bang. The ratings were great. You guys were sitting pretty in a good position.

RS: How many seasons now?

RG: Now we're gonna be going on our eighth.

RS: And you've been part of it since the very beginning?

RG: Since the second season.

RS: Since the second, wow, long gig. That's awesome. Good for you!

RG: It happened perfect timing right before I was about to have my first born.

EW: Really?

RS: Oh my God, perfect.

EW: Congrats. So your first born is how old then right now?

RG: Five.

EW: Five. And you have just one right now? You have a second?

RG: No, two. Yeah, I have two. I have a three year old. Little boy, Mateo and my baby girl, Genevieve.

RS: Oh, that's beautiful.

EW: Changes your perspective on everything, right?

RG: Amplified everything. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm also losing hair quicker than I'd like, but.

RS: Yeah. We just did a podcast and we were talking about parenthood, you know, and generational trauma and how I understand my mom now that I'm fifty-one more than ever. You know? My whole life, it was all about, I don't get her. I don't get it. I don't get her. Why, why, why? And now as a mom of a twelve-year-old girl, I just go, okay, now I get my mom.

EW: Yeah, you're not there yet. You're getting some challenges, I'm sure. You know that they say with the terrible twos, the terrible threes, the fucking fours, the fucking fives. That's it! It'll beep those curse words out. But I mean, there's challenges at every level, but there's also so many blessings and so much fun.

RG: Yeah, I'm sure right now as a twelve-year-old girl in this day and age—I'm sure it's insane.

RS: It is work. It's a little work. It's beautiful, listen, it's delicious, it's amazing. She's awesome. We have a little star. She's a tennis player. She's a good girl. But she is so fierce. She's fiercely independent, and she's at the age that I know everything and you don't know anything and just leave me alone because I am finding who I am. And sometimes you want to slap her and be like, you don't know, you don't know shit. So it's interesting.

EW: Let me ask you this, Ryan, because we were just having a conversation about our son is very, very passive. And I mean, he's coming out of his shell more and more, but we have some good friends that started their kids at a very young age in jujitsu and all these things that are just great training grounds to learn for self-esteem, for self-defense, for all these things, right? You grew up doing taekwondo, correct? Got your black belt in taekwondo. Started where you were like around eight, am I right? In that range?

RG: Yeah, it was my seventh year old birthday I started, yeah.

EW: What was the reason that, was that just, why not, I'm gonna try something new? Or was there something that prompted you to go, ah, taekwondo, I wanna jump in?

RG: Way too many Bruce Lee films.

EW: Yeah, I was gonna say, because I used to love watching movies like that too and get excited. So that—it just became a cool thing. You're like, I wanna do it.

RG: It was, honestly, it was everything. Bruce Lee was my idol, he still is my idol. From the philosophical to the physical, it was just a key component in my own evolution. So as I got to read more books, I mean, I was a young kid reading Bruce Lee books and Richard Marchenko books, which are Navy Seal books. I don't know why my interest led me there, but I feel like I needed that kind of structure. And that structure has been such an incredible foundation for, I mean, all of the success that I've been able to be grateful to get. So I highly advise every parent to put their kids into Jiu-Jitsu, wrestling at least, if not some Taekwondo or karate or some kind of martial arts, especially if you're a boy.

RS: I told you.

EW: I'm open to it. I have no problem with it.

RS: We just talked about this.

EW: I have no problem with that. I just know my kid's not gonna do it yet. He's six. I just know like his personality. He did a version of like a Taekwondo for a bit. He lasted, it was like, you know, little kids running around.”

RS: No he never—he did karate.

EW: Well karate. I think it was Taekwondo.

RS: No, it was karate.

EW: It was for sure a blend.

RS: Really?

EW: For sure a blend, it wasn't just straight cut. But he did it for a few years and then kind of got bored, right? And like with any discipline, it takes a lot of work, a lot of patience. I think the age you started feels like a pretty solid age to dive into something that takes that much focus and patience as well to learn.

RS: Did they get hurt though? At six and at seven, when you see them fighting and doing Jiu Jitsu, that is such a physical and a contact sport, do they get hurt?

RG: Yeah, I mean, they can get hurt, but they can also heal really quick. They're young. So I mean, when I was doing Taekwondo, I ended up sparring guys that were like actually twenty-years old to even my master and actually got taken out of—what was it?—a tournament because I broke my hand trying to break, I'm trying to block one of his kicks.

EW: Oh wow.

RS: Oh no.

RG: Yeah. I would say there's different, you know, personality types. I think from one to six, it's less about the structure and less about the discipline. It's more about play.

EW: Yeah.

RG: How can you allow them to feel comfortable in their own bodies and know their movement and then play with this now new martial art? And then after that, then yeah, you start to develop more structure and discipline and say, this is, you know, we got to tame the mind before we tame the body. And you start to understand a little bit more of why it's called an art, martial art.

EW: And when you first started competing, what age were you when you jumped in and then you started fighting, taking shots?

RG: I think it was right away. I was like, I'm around maybe eight, nine. Yeah, around that time.

EW: You learn life lessons quick, right? Like Mike Tyson says, everybody's got a plan till you get punched in the face. Then you have to figure it out.

RG: Yeah, yeah, I wanted to be quick. I wanted to be powerful. And I think another reason why I liked Bruce Lee so much is he was a tiny man. He wasn't a massive, like Michael Jai White kind of guy. So he was able to demand respect just off of his own technique. And I thought, you know, okay, I need to copy that. Technique can beat power and strength or technique can beat strength. So I ended up doing that and proving to myself like, oh, even at eight years old, I can be a force. And as soon as I started doing actual sparring, I just kind of fell in love with it, with the competition of it.”

RS: So Taekwondo and then MMA, right? Because you did a little bit of MMA. So all this is just fighting. When did acting came to the table? Like, and how?

RG: The acting was something I never even thought of coming from Sacramento, I mean, that's not even something that we talk about out there. And it's either martial arts or working for the state or an automotive job. But none of that called me. I was doing modeling in San Francisco. I got offered to do a photo shoot in LA, and I just asked my modeling agency from San Fran to hook me up with an agency in LA, not knowing the racket that modeling is. And I stayed in a one bedroom with five guys creating a massive amount of debt before I learned there was commercials and there was acting available. And I think the competitive streak just kind of clicked. And I was like, well, I want to get out of this situation. That seems to be making a lot more money. And this is the time and day where commercials—the nationals were actually bringing in some money. I don't know if the landscape's the same anymore.”

EW: It's very different for sure.

RG: Yeah, so I was very fortunate at the time to catch the tail end of that. And then I remember being a new twenty-three year old in LA. I'm going to clubs, I'm enjoying, I'm having a great time. And I'm seeing some of the guys that are being successful as actors. And they're kind of like, they were idiots, to be honest. So I was like, how are these guys, you know, so successful? Like I got to try this acting thing out. And I remember I didn't have enough money to download scripts. So I would just take the same page or pages that I had in my place and I'd write my own scripts off of the internet. And I would invite two or three, maybe even five guys over to the house, and I'd just start doing those scenes in front of them. And that was kind of my acting class. And then I went and auditioned for a manager, didn't get that manager, got another one who is my manager today. Three months after that, I booked the lead in Step Up and my life forever changed.

RS: Oh my God. So it was fast.

RG: Within nine months. So yeah.

RS: That's incredible. Good for you. That's incredible.”

EW: I can relate to your journey in a lot of ways. I had a similar—I went from sports to modeling to the same thing, curiosity with acting, reading different books about acting, seeing people do commercials. And like you said, back in the day, you could do one national commercial and if it was a good one, you could actually make your living for the year off of just one commercial. And little by little, just very, very similar path. I didn't get one big movie out the gate that changed my career. It took a lot of grinding. That's an amazing blessing to have something like that happen. And then you have to balance the ebbs and flows of this business at that point, right?

RS: The dancing was just organic to you? Or you were a dancer? A lot of people have that question. Does he really dance?

RG: It was something, I think it's—culturally, I don't know, just being Mexican-American, I was literally raised with my family going to do, like Quinces' [Quinceañeras], or like just parties in general, we'd always dance. And it was less about the one, two, three, ba, one, two, like doing any kind of structured kind of stuff, more of the feel. And I've always loved dancing, but never on that level.

RS: How was it having to follow choreography?

RG: It was kind of like fighting. I put it next to it because the amount of hours we did—we did eight hours every single day for about two, three months. I remember seeing the guy that, and I feel bad because I gave him such a hard time. He was supposed to be my dance double, but my competitive streak was just like, no, no, no. I gotta be that guy. So I would do the eight hours with everybody and then I'd videotape our session and I'd go home and I'd do another two, three hours by myself. And just go over and over, and then I ended up being in every scene.

RS: That's awesome.

EW: Good for you.

RS: Have you done a movie playing a fighter, like an MMA, a boxer or something like that? Have you done that already?

RG: I've not. I've wanted to for the longest time. And I don't know if—I think it'll come. Everything's happening for a reason. I believe in... to, actually what you were saying earlier, getting that job right out the gate, it was overwhelming. It was too much for me at the time. I wasn't ready to be catapulted in the way I was. And I wasn't an actor really. I wasn't really a dancer. I had kind of just been fooling everybody.

RS: How old were you?

RG: I was twenty-three.

RS: Oh baby, okay.

RG: Yeah, so I'm brand new with all this.

EW: Months in, like you said, months in.

RG: Yeah, and everybody's thinking that I'm this thing and I'm kind of taking it. My ego was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe I am. And then reality kind of checked me and the next movie I did and two movies after that were bombs and I realized I don't know anything about this business. So I would say up until maybe three years ago, I didn't really call myself an actor and I was just lucky to count my stars that I was amongst other actors that were like a Jennifer Lopez or working with the Richard Linklater and now Glenn Powell being who he is now. So just super grateful that I got the time and maybe the hustle that I had, those combined allowed me to stay and have some longevity in this career.

RS: Did you get caught up in the whole business—the ugly dark side of Hollywood because you were so young and it came so fast?

RG: I didn't get caught up, but I definitely got put onto it, and it quickly showed me I want no part of it. That's why I kind of say to myself, I stay with my kids. I rarely do any press, but that was just like, the fame game was never something... I don't want to be seen too much and then have to speak in front of thousands of people as if I'm speaking for them. I can only speak for myself and my experience and hopefully people connect to it. But I saw a lot of people that were not necessarily skilled in any asset becoming really famous and rich. And it kind of just wasn't feeding anything other than a hole in the soul. So it kind of made me go a different direction.

RS: That's amazing.

EW: Do you remember on your climb at any point—maybe an older actor you came across that maybe, maybe not a full mentor—but somebody who guided you or gave you some words of wisdom early on that might have helped you navigate this business or any of that even failed you and just set you back going, oh, that was a horrible example of somebody on set? You don't have to name names if you don't want, but I'm just curious if you had people that hit those marks.

RG: I've definitely been blessed to be, I mean, I've worked with some of the greats, Edward James Olmos, Jennifer Lopez, I mean, Juliette Lewis. I've worked [with] some amazing actors and actresses. I could, yeah, I would never name names, but I have gotten some really good advice and some really like [makes a noise] advice. And... so grateful for the good advice. Eddie Olmos has given me some incredible advice. He's just a sound individual.

EW: He's a great human.

RG: Yeah, and his son, Michael Olmos, another sound individual. But I think it was just on all aspects—just stay true to you. I think that's the general narrative that I've gotten from plenty of other individuals. It's just, no one can do you. And your uniqueness is meant to kind of shine in its own unique way. So if you're trying to be—I can't be Antonio Banderas I can't be, even though I'm a Latin actor, I can't be somebody else that's already had that role. I need to just kind of explore myself and allow that to shine, and that's what I feel like I'm just starting to tap into these past couple of years. So I'm really excited to see where it goes.”

RS: Before we talk about your movie coming out tomorrow—and listen, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, because we want to be very respectful—but we read that and you came out openly saying that you had to deal with some mental situations, and you battle a little bit of depression at some point in your life. Only if you want to talk about it, otherwise we don't have to. I was just very curious, where did depression come from? If you even know.

RG: Yeah, I've spent many, many years dissecting where the depression has come from, and it's essentially from people pleasing. It's a trauma coping mechanism that I started a long time ago when I was a child, and I didn't even realize it. And it's kind of these things that I'm aware of now raising my own children to give them less to work on later on in life and give them a better foundation. But yeah, as I got older, I started to realize that I was people pleasing so much to a detriment that I had nothing left for myself. And I've even watched old interviews and where I'm smiling the whole time and trying to say the right thing and do the right thing and be the perfect individual, be the all-American boy, and that's not who I really am. I'm flawed and I have my own issues, and I think being raised a Mexican-American man who's not supposed to tap into his feelings or understand them, let alone, that set me back a lot. So I came to a point about seven years ago where I reached my limit, and I had just seen my parents' divorce. I had just gone through a horrible relationship, and I was looking around for some kind of aid, somebody to be there, and no one was there.

And I realized that I had been leaning on the wrong people. So feeling that lonely, feeling like you wake up and you just know what's gonna happen every single day is just kind of a time suck and it's quicksand, and that's how the depression kind of starts. And luckily, I got a second chance, and from that moment forward, it kind of just awoken—I awoke into something new, something better and a path towards a purpose. So. Yeah.

RS: The second chance came from within, from a person, from a book?

RG: The second chance came from my attempt at not working. So I'm a very extremist person type, and right after my attempt did not work, I just started crying like crazy. And I was in a horrible environment. Somebody was yelling at the other side of the door. You know, just horrible things were happening at the time. And then after I stopped crying, I remember sitting on my bed and just having this moment of like this epiphany. You can't ever be the same. You got to be something different because you've already reached the absolute limit with this type of person you are. You got to deconstruct, break everything down because the foundation you've been building on is so fractured and cracked. And for the last six, seven years now, I've broken myself down and try to stay as humble as I possibly can and look at all the horrible things about me and then kind of start from there and rebuild and heal and allow myself to be a different individual and actually show and implore people to change via changing myself.

RS: That's amazing.

EW: Yeah, thank you for sharing that. I think a lot of our listeners will gain a lot just hearing. Maybe they don't go through something to the extent you went through, but everybody deals with some sort of down moment, whether it gets as far as a deep depression or not, and a lot of people don't know how to even pull out of the simplest thing. And you, like you said, hit a level of rock bottom and had that epiphany. Thank God. Now, I mean, you're a dad and you have so much to offer your children and let alone your own— yourself and your life. You have so much more to do—so thank you for sharing that. That's powerful.

RS: I'm assuming spirituality is very important in your life at the moment.

RG: Yes. Yes. Yeah. That's part of my purpose as well. I was raised a Catholic. I was an altar boy at one point in time. I went into the seminary for a little bit. And then I kind of disassociated with the church and religion in general. I saw the underbelly of it. But yeah, my spirituality is—I started to reread the Bible and tap back into my spirituality and just be open to Eastern and Western, allowing all forms to kind of really like be permeable. So I think there's so much to this life that to say that you know it all is kind of cutting yourself off of so much opportunity and abundance. Yeah, so that's kind of where I'm at right now. Just—I'm exploring that with like-minded individuals, and propelling love rather than fear, so.

EW: It's great that you're putting all this into perspective in your life now because especially—I know every business has challenges, but I think in a business like ours, where so many people—their happiness hinges on the ups and the false belief that people around you have all the time—and the moment you don't deliver, the moment people's attitudes or perceptions of you change, or the moments—it's such a roller coaster emotionally, the business that we're in, that a lot of people, I think, aspire or want—they want it so bad because they see fame, they see that meaning, the all-encompassing success. You must be happy because people know who you are. It's like nobody has to know who you are to be happy.

I like what you said—just staying out of press unless you want to do something or maybe you have a social media presence when you want. But it's not because you feel the need to feed the ego to be seen by everybody else. It's something that speaks to you, so I'll do it. But it's not to please people. And that's what this business has become for so many others. I need to constantly please. And when I'm not pleasing, I failed. And when you fail, you feel like, what have you accomplished? You could have accomplished—you could be an Oscar winner and it still wouldn't be enough. Because you're gonna fail at some point again. Like it's very rare that someone just rides high all the way through in this business. And so I think our business is such a tough one to navigate the waters you've been through. But thankfully you're putting those pieces in perspective now, which I think is perfect timing because your career is just gonna continue to go and go and go and go and go like that, because that's just what the business does. But you've got the tools now.

RS: It's brutal, to be honest. So it's good when we find spirituality and when we have all the things going for us that are so much more important, like parenthood. Because for me, I decided to be a mom late in life because it was all about career, career, I need to make it. And I wasn't searching fame. My problem with the business—and the lows were low. Not because, oh, I'm not where I wanna be because I wanna be famous. It was more about why do I have to constantly prove myself? I've done big movies, I've done huge TV shows and then why is there, what I call in the meantime, this moment of nothing that all the stuff that you have accomplished basically becomes nothing and you have to do it all over again. And it's the constant, I'm swimming against the current. It's not about being famous. It's about why, like it's been almost 30 years. Why do I still have to prove to you that I can do this when just look at my body of work? I've done it many times before. And it is very frustrating.

RG: Both of you guys have great points. I mean, and both of you guys' careers speak for themselves. I would say that I've been blessed now again with this new chance at life that I've come to understand it's more about connectivity. Connectivity to like minded individuals and loved ones and connectivity to a purpose, which for me is creativity. So to your point, I always felt that same way where I was like trying to outdo my last thing and that was so fleeting—or get some type of money, some type of recognition, and it was all fleeting because at the end of the day, after you pass away, that's all gone.

But if you create something, you connect with somebody, that remains even after you pass. So that's what truly matters. So I find myself having deep conversations with individuals. I find myself getting lost in my art or my poetry or writing screenplays and just kind of just creating, allowing my own storytelling to come in and flourish. But it can be very defeating in the time and age that we're in right now. So many people are trying to be social media stars and do the next TikTok dance and say the next absurd thing to get all the views.

And I think they're gonna find what I ended up finding a long time ago, which—one example sticks out in my mind. I'd always wanted to throw a first pitch in a baseball game or at least be a part of a baseball game, and I luckily got invited to the LA Dodgers game. And I remember getting that experience and the people that I wanted there weren't there. So it felt meaningless. And it felt like I had no true connection. I'm like, my mom, my dad, my brother, somebody should be here. Why are they not here? I've lost all contact because I've been so busy working. I've been so focused on creating this brand of Guzman. And now I understand. It's like, none of this means anything without the people that you care about right next to you.

EW: 100%. Talk to us about your movie. This is exciting. The Present.

RG: Yeah, The Present is an awesome film. It's a good wholesome family film. Nice little comedy in there. Cause you know, Isla Fisher, Greg Kinnear, they're incredible individuals. The kids kill it in this. I mean, they're the star pupils in this film. And then it was new for me. It was a little fun role to play. You know, comedic timing, trying to master that still. But I had fun with it playing opposite of Isla. And essentially the movie is about a family who's on their way to separation going on divorce and their kids get gifted this grandfather clock and this grandfather clock can turn back time. So the kids try and use this to try and save their family's relationship. And everything that ensues is really nice.

EW: You know, when I saw the premise, I was thinking to myself, cause I come from divorced parents and I remember as a kid always going like, how can I just change this? How can I take that back? And so to put that into a movie, I think is a fun concept that anybody coming from a divorced family could probably relate to in that sense. Cause you always want to turn back time and go, is there something I could have done? And even though, you know, kids take that blame, but it's a great premise. That sounds like a lot of fun.

And comedic timing, like doing comedy and stretching, even though you've done it before and you continue to do it, it's like, it's always its own art form. It is so tricky. People don't understand how difficult great comedy is. Like, I always think some of the best actors in our business, period, are comedians, because to make someone genuinely laugh, like crying laughter, to me is way harder than making someone feel like cry with tears of sadness. I think people can tap into that as a viewer much easier than like someone genuinely making you die laughing. So just doing comedy as an actor is such a fun art form to continue to explore, I'm sure.

RG: 100%. I mean, Robin Williams is the, I would say my go for that. He shows—”

EW: Do it all.

RG: The comedy that he does is so based in truth.

EW: Yeah.

RG: It's so grounded. That's why it works. And obviously it helps that he can play like 12 million personalities, but—

EW: Totally, but then he'll crush the drama at the same time. Like he'll do drama, no problem. Then to do comedy, you don't see a lot of dramatic actors come over and knock out comedy like you see comedians go over and knock out drama.

RG: Yeah.

EW: So I think like it's awesome that you got to explore that as well.

RS: Is there one thing that you see yourself in five years doing? You have a successful show, and now you're a dad, you know, you're pretty accomplished. But if you can look at your future and be like, there's this thing that is my north is the next, is what is gonna make everything make sense and be full circle.

RG: Yeah, being my own director. Right now I'm working on a film that I've written. I'm working with an incredible director, Mo McCray, mentoring under him and taking ownership of my own career and allowing myself to kind of open the space and open the door for not even just more Latinos, but just in general for newer voices and more creative voices and human experiences. But I mean, there's always that one big thing to be like a Marvel superhero at some point in time.

RS: You will.

EW: You can have more than one North for sure, but that's a great one. That's a great one.

RS: You know, it's interesting. I'm going through the process. I'm leaving to go to Puerto Rico to do this thing that I wrote that I'm gonna direct. It's my first feature that I'm directing, and it's like, I want it to be like the second stage of my career. And it's so hard, Ryan, to—it's an independent film and to be able to raise finance, you know, it's years, you know, like we had Ricky Martin a couple of podcasts back and he was saying that he learned that in this business, everything takes five years from beginning to end is five years. And now that I think about it, I'm like, you know what? Absolutely right. It's gonna be five years, you know, once I'm done, I edit, you know, locked picture, boom, it's gonna be five years.

And it's been brutal. The process, it's been brutal because it's a lot of letdowns and people offering you all kinds of things and at the end of the day, it's all BS, you know, it's all smoke and mirrors. And the only thing that keeps me going is the love of the art and the love of what we do because I wrote it and it's so special to me. It's like my third baby. And even though I'm going through logistical nightmares and finance, is it gonna fall apart? Is it here? Is it not? When I sit down to do my shot list and when I'm actually doing the creative work of it all, I can do that all day long. All day long, because it's amazing if you love it.

RG: Yeah. Yeah, the business part of it is just—it's defeating. The creativity part of it is incredible. And I'm sure this is just gonna be, you know, an abundance of opportunity and knowledge, you know, for the next thing. And like anything you do in life, as soon as you begin something new, you probably suck at it, unless you're one of those rare few individuals that can do everything. But there is a learning process, a learning curve. And this was gonna probably be one film that spurs on so many other films now.”

RS: Amen.

RG: Watch and enjoy.

RS: Yeah, amen. Anyways, thank you.

EW: Well, Ryan, thanks for hanging with us today. This was awesome, man. Thanks for sharing everything. Wish you the very best. Obviously you're crushing it and you have a lot of great aspirations still to come. So we truly wish you the best.

RS: Thank you.

RG: Alright, guys, you guys have a great day.

RS: You too, bye bye.

EW: That was great.

RS: Oh my God, he's so wonderful.

EW: Yeah, such an awesome guy. And truly wish him the best with the trajectory and everything he has planned for his career beyond 911. I love that he's writing and wants to direct. Check out The Present movie coming out tomorrow.

RS: Tomorrow. On demand.

EW: On demand. Till next time.

RS: Bye, love you.

[ahalliance]

qétoiles n qbagz’ convo about his code arm + fun banter from last sunday :] english subs + transcript below da cut

[Video transcript:

Etoiles: But yesterday when he [Forever] talked to me, he was so frightened, basically he was like, ‘But one day won’t you lose your shit and want to kill the Eggs with the Code, and everything?’ Though I was telling him, ‘But the fact is, I know the Code very well’—

Baghera: Oh, so you told him you joined—?

Etoiles: No, no, no, not at all. It’s just that he has these assumptions that I’m really allied to the Code because—

Baghera: I think it’s due to your Code tattoo, also, it gives off the impression you’re in the process of transforming into a Code, Etoiles, let’s not lie.

Etoiles: That’s it, that’s it. But, basically I told him that I’ve had it since—

Baghera: But you don’t give a shit? You’re taking it well?

Etoiles: Well, yeah, I don’t give a shit because I know he’ll never beat me. Basically I—

Baghera: But you don’t give a shit about the code literally popping up over your body?

Etoiles: Well, yeah, because it’s a part of me now. It’s normal.

Baghera: How?

Etoiles: Well, after— after fighting someone 17 times, you start— you start creating links. But those links—

Baghera: But— you know that’s not how things work. Like— look, we cross paths. Right now we’re crossing paths. You see? We’re crossing paths. I kick your ass. Like, for free. You see? I see you, I’m like, ‘Bro, I don’t like his face,’ so I kick your ass.

Etoiles: But no! Because if you tell me ‘Good fight’ at the end—

Baghera: I see you again— wait, I’m not finished. I see you again like 12 times, and I tell myself, ‘Hey, I’ll do it again,’ I kick your ass again. After a while, Rayou, I won’t get diabetes!

Etoiles: Well, maybe you will, huh.

Baghera: Yes, but it’s not— it doesn’t work, like— there’s no correlation, you see!

Etoiles: You know you won’t have those cells anymore, you know, it’s possible.

Baghera: But— no— what I mean is— Etoiles! That’s now how it works! It’s worrisome! It’s normal for us to worry!

Etoiles: Well, yeah, but, uhhh. Basically, you’re all used to talking with me on the island. And you understand very well that there’s nothing able to corrupt me.

Baghera: That we don’t know, Etoiles! Because— if it’s— I know that your morality, and your enormous brain, and your big body, won’t get corrupted. But if there’s suddenly— well, what I mean is that we don’t know what all the possible systems of manipulation on the island are.

Etoiles: It’s true. No, it’s true. But for the moment I’m doing well.

Baghera: Yeah, well, so much the better. But—

Etoiles: For the moment I’m doing well!

Baghera: If you feel any change, Etoiles, mention it, okay?

Etoiles: Oh, I’ll talk about it. But for the time being I’m doing very well.

Baghera: So I can understand peoples’ fear upon seeing you LITERALLY transform into a Code and who tell themselves, ‘Oh, strange, maybe there’s a thing with the Codes.’

Etoiles: It’s true but who can better know the dangers of the Code than someone who’s confronted it his whole life? Instead of someone who—

Baghera: I’m well aware.

Etoiles: No but it’s— it’s— it’s for that reason that I told Forever. I totally understand the fear and everything, it’s normal. You see a dude turning into a Code, you ask yourself, ‘What’s the guy who sent him doing?’

Baghera: Well, yeah, there you go.

Etoiles: Like, ‘Who sent him?’

Baghera: But you don’t feel any different? Nothing?

Etoiles: Absolutely not, no. Everything is going well. I still hate the Code whenever I see him, I still want to kick his ass. Everything’s fine. Even if right now I want him—

Baghera: But you join up with them when he suggests it, yeah. Well, it’s to get the shield back.

Etoiles: It was just for the shield, believe me. Believe me, if I run into them again- if I run into them again and they don’t offer me things to save the Eggs and everything, it’s goodbye. And considering what I’ve prepared— considering what I’ve prepared, I objectively think that 5 Codes won’t be enough to kill me. There’ll need to be 10 of them.

Baghera: They might bring 10, huh.

Etoiles: Yeah, well, then again, we have time.

Baghera: Well, in any case, they don’t want to kill you anymore since you’re working with them.

Etoiles: Well, in fact, we’re not really— actually— I don’t really know what he’s thinking. Because the last time we talked I told them, ‘But if you lay even a finger on the Eggs, I’ll kick your fucking asses, you sacks of shit.’ And they left, and they didn’t answer me.

Baghera: Then again, they’re a bit cryptic, the Codes, you know.

Etoiles: Yeah, but normally they— I managed to talk with them a bit, so— so I don’t know. Personally, I’m telling you—

Baghera: Okay, no, what I mean is that I understand why when people see you they think, ‘Maybe it’s possible he’s getting a little bit corrupted by the Codes.’

Etoiles: No but yeah, yeah, I totally get it. But honestly, never. Never in a million years.

Baghera: I believe you! I trust you. But if there’s— if once you feel any difference or something of the sort, you mention it, okay? To whomever you want, but you mention it.

Etoiles: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (10000x)

Baghera: You know you’re not very reassuring when you say that, as an answer.

Etoiles: That’s true. But I’m telling you there’s no problem. And— actually. The moment I start feeling strange, I’ll put numbers. And so you’ll have to come get me.

Baghera: Okay, okay. I’ll remember that.

Etoiles: Just that. But I— I— yeah. I whisper in the Code’s ear.

Baghera: The day you start talking to me in binary, there’ll be an issue, basically.

Etoiles: The day I say, ‘10001’, that’s it. But actually, I’m telling you, I could never be corrupted because I have AVAST, my wool block which blocks viruses.

Baghera: That’s real, that’s real.

end video transcript.]

[dessertgeek]

The Twitter Mari Lwyd saga (2019 - part two)

Since people seem to be happy that I'm copying over the Mari Lwyd sagas, have another transcription! This is for the second round of 2019, between @seananmcguire and @kbspangler. Part one is here, the source to this round starts here.

(Seriously, these aren't mine, they're the property of @seananmcguire, @tkingfisher, + @kbspangler, I'm just transcribing so extra records exist. Support their works!)

That being said, if anyone can find the 2020 Twitter thread, can you send me a link so I can transcribe it (or transcribe it and link me)? It has been found! Thanks to @dor-min for finding the thread, it's going to take me a bit to transcribe.

CWs for food, alcohol, and caps.

K.B.: SO YOU SAY YOU WANT A BATTLE? YOU'RE BRINGING NAUGHT BUT PRATTLE TO THIS FESTIVE DAY WE DESIGNATE WITH LIGHTS AND FOOD TO CELEBRATE THE SOLSTICE, DEAR, WITH ME AND MINE AND YOU AND YOURS AND HIS AND HERS AND THEIRS AND OURS A BREAKING DAY A FRESH NEW YEAR WE CALL SPRING UP AGAIN

Seanan: WE'RE PAST THE LONGEST NIGHT AND I'M ITCHING FOR A FIGHT IF YOU'RE COLD, WE'RE COLD, SO LET US IN. WE HEARD YOUR LARDER'S STOCKED, SO GET READY TO GET ROCKED THIS TALE'S OFTEN TOLD WE ALWAYS WIN.

K.B.: YOU SAY YOU'LL FIGHT THIS GARDNER'S MIGHT?! THE GROUND IS COLD MY PLANTS ASLEEP I'VE GOT ENOUGH STRESS TO PUNCH A SHEEP I AM WIGGING TO GO DIGGING AND HERE YOU COME TO STEAL MY PLUMS?

Seanan: I DON'T WANT YOUR PLUMS THE MARI LWYD COMES TO SAMPLE YOUR CHEESE AND YOUR BOOZE. YOUR GARDEN IS SLEEPING SO WHY ARE YOU KEEPING A SENTRY POST YOU DIDN'T CHOOSE? COME WASSAIL WITH US. THERE'S NO NEED TO FUSS. THERE'S NO SHAME IN CHOOSING TO LOSE.

K.B.: I'M NOT YET CONVINCED A DEAD HORSE HAS ENVINCED THE SPIRIT OF THIS WINTER'S PAST CAN YOU SWEETEN THE DEAL WITH A CAROLING PEAL? THEN MY GARDEN WILL HAVE TO HOLD FAST

Seanan: WE ARE NOT RETREATIN' THIS HORSE WON'T BE BEATEN, IT A BATTLE OF HOOVES VERSUS HANDS. THE JINGLE OF BELLS IS A SOUND THAT FORETELLS OUR CONQUEST OF ALL OF THESE LANDS.

K.B.: THEN I GOTTA SAY NO SORRY, CAN'T GO YOU SEEM LIKE A NICE HORSE AND ALL BUT MY HOUSE IS QUITE HAUNTED AND I AM UNDAUNTED BY YET ONE MORE SPECTRAL ODDBALL

Seanan: IT'S NOT REALLY RESPECTFUL TO SAY THAT I'M SPECTRAL. I'M CORPOREAL AS A GIRL COMES. YOU CAN PURCHASE MORE CHEESE SO JUST GIVE ME THESE. DON'T FORCE ME TO BREAK OUT THE DRUMS.

K.B.: (My parents are about to arrive so)

FINE, I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE BIRD, DOG, OR MARE ON THIS DAY WE'RE SUPPOSED TO EMPLOY THE LOVE OF THE SEASON SO HERE, HAVE SOME CHEESE IN PRECUT SIXTY-FOUR SLICES OF JOY

Seanan: DESPITE THIS GRAVE LOSS, YOU'RE A SHEPHERD TO MOSS, AND I AM A CHILD OF THE GRAVE. SO I'LL GO NOW IN PEACE, AND I WON'T BREAK YOUR LEASE, THOUGH YOU DIDN'T ASK ME TO BEHAVE.

K.B.:

[Alt ID: A small Black child in a crowd. The child takes off his black baseball cap as if to say "I tip my hat to you dear sir," which has RE2PECT embroidered on it in white thread.]

[valeriianz]

I've had this Dreaming The Proposal AU sitting in my drafts for a while. Then @voukkake comes out with this art and I figured it was time to brush off the dust and share what I'd written lol. This is seriously all I'm going to write so if anyone is interested I'm begging you to pick this up. I'm dying to read Dream awkwardly interacting with Hob's family (also @valiantstarlights suggestion that Betty White is Destiny?? ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT). Anyway...

------------------

Dream is about to be deported because his visa application has been denied. He is in the middle of a meeting with his lawyers when Hob, his secretary, pops in the room to inform Dream of a very important phone call and Dream comes up with the insane plan to marry Hob to keep his immigration status.

He gestures for Hob to come over and Hob, clueless, wanders into the room and stands next to Dream, who takes him by the arm and tugs him just a little bit further to stand awkwardly close.

Dream announces their engagement and Hob stands there, shell shocked and feels his mouth moving against his will. That yeah, they are getting married. They are in love, sure. It isn’t until they leave the office, following Dream back to his, that Hob’s brain seems to come back online.

“What just happened in there?”

Dream grouses, head down, already back to his work as if nothing happened. Like he didn’t just use Hob as a pawn in his scheme to get around his denied visa application.

“They were going to make Morningstar editor-in-chief.” Is all Dream says, disdain dripping from every word. He still hasn’t looked up.

Hob stands there, still as a statue. His head is swimming with words, with emotions. Anger, disbelief, betrayal… and a small tiny flicker of undeniable interest that he hastily stomps out.

He manages to put the pieces together rather quickly though, while Dream continues sifting through paperwork.

“This is illegal,” Hob manages to croak out, brows furrowing. 

“Oh, please. The government looks for terrorists, not book publishers.” Dream’s head is still down in his paperwork.

Hob blinks, taking a step up to Dream’s desk. “I'm not marrying you.”

“Sure you are.” Dream sets aside a stack of papers and finally gives Hob his attention. “Because if you don't, your dreams of ‘touching millions of lives with the written word’ are dead.” 

Hob’s jaw drops. That was a line, corny as it was, that he’d used in the panel interview for this job. Three years ago.

----------------------

“Were you not in that room? I could get fined, I’ll go to jail over this. If you want me on this deal, you will promote me to editor.”

Without even glancing up from his phone, Dream scoffs.

“Absolutely not.”

“Well then I guess you’re screwed. Buh-bye.” Hob turns with a flourish and has to bite back a grin at how Dream splutters behind him and grabs him by the arm.

“Fine– fine! Editor.” His face seems to go through the five stages of grief. He drops his hold on Hob.

“And You’ll publish my manuscript.” Hob throws in. In for a penny.

Dream’s brows narrow and he shakes as if he’s physically controlling the urge to stamp his foot.

“Sure. I’ll publish your hack manuscript.”

“Good.” Hob slips his hands in his pants pockets, staring at Dream, deciding on one last nail in the coffin.

“Now do it properly.”

Dream cocks an eyebrow. “Do what properly?”

“Propose. Like you mean it.”

Dream’s entire body seizes up, but he manages not to let it show, distracting himself by slipping his phone in the pocket of his expensive slacks and clasping his hands in front of him.

“Will you marry me?”

“No.” Hob, the arrogant bastard, is visibly biting back a smirk. “Say it like you mean it.”

Dream takes a long, steadying breath through his nose.

“Hob Gadling. Will you–”

“And get on your knees.”

Dream absolutely refuses to decipher the thrill that shoots through his body at Hob’s command. Instead he keeps his mask of irritation and indifference on as he scans the crowd around them. They are still outside the courthouse, and the concrete sidewalk is going to potentially tear Dream’s Hugo Boss black wool pants.

So he carefully lowers himself, scowling as the smirk on Hob’s face only widens as Dream slowly settles onto the ground.

Once he’s as comfortable as Dream’s going to get, he clears his throat.

“Hob Gadling,” he glares at his subordinate from under his lashes. “Will you fucking marry me?”

Hob curls his lips in mock consideration, looking up past Dream’s head. He rocks back on his heels and nods with a forlorn sigh.

“Okay.” He still hasn’t met Dream’s gaze. “Could've done without the sarcasm but it will do. See you at the airport tomorrow.” 

And turns and walks away, leaving Dream to fend for himself on the ground.