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fallensimeon · 4 years ago

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Take Me For A Ride (NSFW 18+)

A spicy F!MC x Mammon smut mixed with a little angst and fluff, my first time trying out writing! Don’t judge too harshly, I tried my best y’know!

Topic warnings: F!MC, angst, smut, fluff, intercourse, car sex, fellatio, rough play (nearly BDSM-ish), biting, blood, curse words, yelling, dirty talking. Read at your own risk!

Words: 5,419

Y/N has enough of the brothers attacking Mammon, and comforts him when he needs her the most. One thing leads to another, and, well... let’s just say they go for the ride of a lifetime.

18+! MINORS, PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT!

If you like my work, please feel free to like, comment, follow, share, or REBLOG. Thank you for taking the time to read my first piece!

It was a gloomy day down in the Devildom, just one of those days where tensions were high in the House of Lamentation. You were in your room, having just completed your homework so you began studying for a test coming up in the next few days. You had a good feeling you were going to ace it, so you began to organize your books and papers and stash them away in your bag.

You were tired. You had felt overworked as of late, always having work to do, or having one of the brothers drag you into one of their troubles as usual. But today? Nobody had reached out. Everyone had seemed so distant from one another. That wasn’t normal, it was always loud in the house no matter where you went. The fact that it was so quiet for once was shocking.

You finished packing up your school supplies and leaned your backpack against your desk in your room. You just wanted to relax, so you decided to ease your chest and arms comfortably onto your desk and scroll through Devilgram for a while. Looking through the brothers’ profiles always put a smile on your face, because they sometimes posted the most hilarious pictures. However, you found yourself on Mammon’s profile for the longest.

He was a model, of course he was stunning. Perfectly-tanned skin, luscious snow white locks gracing his head, the most beautiful blue eyes that almost glowed gold. You could never tell him how you really felt, he would just push you away. Plus, there was probably some model out there who was after him already anyways. Why would Mammon want to be with some weak human?

You jumped slightly as a text notification popped up on your screen.

“Dinner is ready, please make your way to the dining hall. You wouldn’t want Beel to get to your plate first,” Lucifer sent. You chuckled and began to make your way down to have dinner. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be as awkward as it was earlier that day.

You make it down to the dining hall, not a single of the brothers making eye contact with you. You froze in your tracks. You can’t lie, that hurt a little bit, you figured at least one of them might greet you.

♡

“Good to see you, Y/N. Come, take a seat. I know you have been working hard up there, you need to eat well,” Lucifer stated, a slight smile on his face. He was glad that at least one of you was focused on your studies that day.

You smiled, finally someone broke the awkward silence. “Thank you Lucifer.”

You made your way around the long table to find an open seat. Your heart fluttered as you walked your way past Mammon, smelling the arousing scent of his cologne waft past your face. You smiled and let out a low but happy sigh, and he looked up for just a second having heard you, a light blush on his face. “Y’know I don’t bite, you can come sit next to me human,” Mammon said lightly, making eye contact with you for the first time that day.

You felt a shudder run down your spine. His voice is so alluring, you could listen to it all day every day. A blush forms on your cheeks as you take a seat next to him.

Everyone around you is surprisingly in their own conversations with one another, which is pretty odd after earlier. Although, you were happy to hear the voices of all of your favorite people around the room. You couldn’t dare to complain, it was nice seeing everyone let go of the awkward tension that had previously filled the House of Lamentation. This, however, was short-lived.

You were almost done with your dinner, only a few forkfuls left, when you heard an argument start. “Oh great, here we go again,” you thought to yourself as you looked up to see Lucifer standing up behind Mammon. You didn’t have a good feeling about this.

“You worthless scumbag, what did you do with my new Ruri-chan figure?!” Levi yelled, close enough to Mammon’s face to spit on him whilst speaking.

“My new perfume went missing too, I bet it had something to do with that idiot,” Asmo shouted across the table at him, a sour glare on his face.

“Come to think of it, my new mystery novel went missing last night, I was going to read it but I couldn’t find it,” Satan added to the fire.

The twins began to spew on about how much of a moron Mammon was, him having done nothing to either of them. Lucifer began to holler at Mammon about every little thing he finds wrong when you realize that was the last straw. You weren’t going to sit there and let everyone torment the demon that meant most to you. You looked over at Mammon, trembling in his seat, trying to hold back tears as his brothers kept pushing him further and further over the edge. He looked like he could break at any second. You know for a fact he didn’t take anyone’s things, he was with you all day yesterday. It couldn’t have been him.

“KNOCK IT OFF, ALL OF YOU! BACK OFF! I THINK HE’S HAD ENOUGH ALREADY!” you shouted at the top of your lungs. The boys all froze in shock and fear, never expecting that out of you. Tears began to stream down your face. You never thought you would see the day that you would have to break up an argument, especially when the only people Mammon trusted were his brothers. Seeing them all treat him like shit made you angry and upset.

“Y/N...” Lucifer sighed and began to speak, but you weren’t going to give him the chance to continue.

“C’mon Mammon, you don’t deserve this, let’s get out of here,” you gently took hold of Mammon’s hand and dragged him away from the table towards his bedroom. The dining hall fell completely silent once again.

♡

You make it all the way to Mammon’s bedroom door when he stops you in your tracks, pulling your arm back towards him lightly. You turn around to see his cheeks burning red, the tears that formed earlier finally starting to come down his face. He looked somewhat relieved, somewhat embarrassed at the same time. He just barely lifted his head to look you in the eyes.

“You didn’t have to go and do that for me human, ya know I can’t handle m’self, right? I-I just needed to think of what t’say...” he said softly, not enough confidence in his voice for you to believe it for a second.

He was shaking, more so than when he usually gets yelled at. You gently let go of his hand and lifted your hand to cup his right cheek, brushing away his tears with your thumb. He felt so warm.

“Mammoney, I wasn’t just going to sit there and let them stomp all over you like that. They have NO evidence to prove that you took anything from them, but they kept going anyway. I’m so sick of their bullshit, watch them find all of their things that they misplaced themselves. I hope they hate themselves for treating you like that.” You loosened your hand from his cheek and tucked your body against his, arms wrapped around his warm shoulders, bringing him in for a cozy embrace.

This broke him. He leaned into your embrace, the tears streaming down his face as he sobbed into the crook of your neck. The two of you stood in a hug for at least 2 minutes straight, neither of you daring to break away. It just felt so nice, you never wanted to let go.

“Th-thank you Y/N, I’m glad you trust me enough t’know I wouldn’t steal their boring stuff. Why would I need Asmo’s perfume, let alone Satan’s book? Y’know, I-I wonder if they think before they point f-fingers like that. C’mon human, let’s get inside, I just w-wanna relax.” Mammon explains with the slightest blushy grin on his face. He opens the door to let you in first, and closes it behind him.

You had never been in Mammon’s room before, he’s never let you in before now. Your eyes scanned around the room, in awe of how cozy it was. His plush leather sofa and a mahogany wood pool table beside it, bottles of alcohol and a few grimm strewn across it. He has a projector rather than a television, two speakers beside the coffee table below it. He has an open concept closet, adorned with studio lights, and his bed pressed flush on the other side of the wall. His room has two floors, the only things up there being his entryway door... and a car? How did he get this in here? What kind of car was it? How interesting. Rather than walking down the stairs as Mammon was expecting you to do, you made your way towards his car and leaned against the hood.

“Is this your car? It’s so amazing! I can’t imagine how much money you must have put into this beauty,” you exclaimed, being somewhat an admirer of cars, having been raised by your father who’s life revolves around them. You grazed your hand over the headlights and the grill along the front, a glint in your eyes from the spotlights shining down on you and the car.

Mammon was standing next to the door, choked up to say the very least. He was blushing furiously, gripping into his lush white hair with his hand, head tilted down and giggling. “Y’mean my Demonia? It’s nothing really, Lucifer helped me get it a while back once I got my license. Pretty cool right? Of course the Great Mammon is cool!” he chuckled, barely able to keep eye contact with you. The truth was, the car meant a lot to him and it did cost a lot, but he couldn’t focus on that right now. He was too busy staring you down, lights glistening against your soft skin, looking oh-so-hot leaned up against his car like that. Little did you know you were his treasure, he admired you every second he got, whether you realized it or not. He began to walk over to you, leaning next to you on the hood, resting his hand softly against yours, interlocking fingers with you.

Needless to say, you were surprised. You jumped slightly at his touch, hesitant to move. You returned the favor regardless, locking your fingers between his, the warmth of his body flushing through your veins, instantly calming you. He means everything to you, and now this? How can you not tell him how you feel now? This was the best opportunity you could get your hands on. You let go of his hand and made your way off of the hood of the car, locked his bedroom door, dimmed his lights slightly, and made your way back over to him. You inched closer to him, barely hugging distance away.

He was looking up at you softly, still blushing. He was shaking a little bit, but you were too, of course. Now was your chance. It was now or never. Either you tell him how you feel now, or hold it in and never find out if your feelings are reciprocated. Your heart was ready to burst out of your chest, but you couldn’t hold back any longer.

♡

“Mammon, you know I care about you... more than myself sometimes, if I’m being honest. Any time I see you enter the room or my eyes meet up with you, I get tons of butterflies inside. You make me feel like I’m not just some useless human that nobody likes. You make me feel special, and I just want you to know that... I love you. I’m in love with you...” you paused, too nervous to continue.

Mammon.exe has stopped working. You... love HIM? The moron, the idiot, the scumbag? You deserve better, but he can’t deny how he really feels. His brothers aren’t anywhere around, so now’s his chance.

“I-human I... I love you too. Y’mean everything to me. I can’t stand seeing my brothers eyeing you up and taking all of my time with ya away from me. You’re MY human... my... my treasure. You deserve better than me, I’m just some lousy good-for-nothi-” he couldn’t speak anymore. You held him by his cheeks and pulled his face to yours, kissing him on his lips. The first tender moment shared between the two of you, your first kiss. He sits still for a moment before realizing what’s happening, leaning into your kiss and holding you by your waist. Your chests graze against one another as the kiss turns more passionate. Mammon slides his tongue against your lips asking for permission before you slide your tongue in between his. You felt higher than a kite at that moment, the butterflies seemingly flying out through the top of your head.

Before long, you were straddling his lap on the hood of his car, breathing into his neck as he planted kisses along your collarbone, nibbling at you and caressing your lower back. You both pulled away from each other to look into each others’ eyes.

“So this is really happening huh?” you blush and look down, feeling a tad bit shy. Mammon brings his hand up to your cheek, some of his fingers lacing into your hair. “We don’t have to do anything ya don’t wanna do, but first...” he places his hands lovingly on your hips and looks into your eyes. “I want you to be mine and only mine, ya hear? No mackin’ on my brothers or anythin’... you’re MY treasure. Well, if you’ll let me have ya...” he starts blushing too, barely able to keep his eyes on you. The words you have been waiting to hear, that you’re HIS and only his... it makes you melt. You hold onto his hips, and lean in to whisper into his ear. “Of course I’m yours, and only yours. You can have all of me if you want it, and I mean ALL of me...” you whisper and nibble on his earlobe, a smirk forming across your face.

He can’t hold back anymore. He slams his mouth against yours in the most passionate kiss, moaning against your lips and pulling you in closer, pressing you against his chest. His hands start to slip under your shirt, making their way up your bare back until he reaches about midway. He looks at you as if he’s asking permission, to which you respond by grazing your hands over his upper thighs. You lean in once again to whisper sensually, “So have you ever done it in your car?”

♡

His excitement cannot be contained, his body heats up hotter as the bulge in his pants grows harder. Without another word, Mammon scoots off of the car, grabbing you underneath your thighs and carrying you into the backseat of his car, placing you gently while he pushes the seats back and reclining them back further. The open space has grown larger. He climbs his way into the car and shuts the door behind him, hovering over you.

He doesn’t waste any time before he starts to undress you. He slips your uniform jacket off followed by your tank top, revealing your black lace bralette. You whisper in his ear “You like that? I bet you’ll like it more when you see the panties I have to match.”

You set off a fire in his chest, a low growl seeping out from his throat. He sheds his uniform jacket and tears off his undershirt, a huge ripping noise emerging, making you increasingly wet as the tension increases. His bare chest is a glorious sight to behold... so sexy and strong, so protective.

He pushes you back against the seat and makes room to slide off your uniform pants, whilst you slide your shoes off and kick them into the passenger seat beside you. He makes his way down to your feet, carefully sliding off your socks which he notices have a grimm pattern on them, and slyly smirks. His eyes scan your exposed skin from your head to your toes and back up, revving him up even more.

♡

He begins to kiss you from your feet, up your calves and your thighs, until he reaches your inner thighs. Your black lace panties meet his face, becoming more and more flushed. He slides his hands up to the waistband and toys with the lace, planting his face against the fabric. That smell... the smell of arousal... it’s so strong. He could only imagine how wet you are for him. He looks up at you and you nod, giving permission to continue.

Mammon growls and grabs your waistband with his teeth, the sound of tearing lace floods the car. You moan in response, wishing you could hear him like this all the time. Your hands reach down to your now exposed heat and stroke the lips, shining from how slick he made you. Mammon’s eyes start shining, staring down as if he’s a predator who’s just hunted down his prey. He licks his lips and flashes his teeth, slight fangs showing. You spread your lips for him and make your legs more comfortable, inviting him to take a taste.

“Mn... you’re so perfect Y/N, so wet for me, I can almost taste it,” he leans down and begins lapping his tongue at your clit. Shudders run up and down your spine from the senastion, bringing out a sensual moan from your chest, back arching. Mammon grips onto your thighs and holds them open. He drags his tongue up and down your opening, sliding it inside of you. He moans into you, admiring how you taste, your flavor. He makes his way back up to your clit, the tip of his tongue dancing around it. He looks up and you and smirks, sliding two fingers inside of you, pulsing them in and out at a steady pace, curling his fingertips from time to time. You can’t help but let out a moan, never having felt so stimulated and so turned-on before.

“M-Mammon... p-p-please... k-keep going b-baby...” you moaned out as he brought you closer and closer to your orgasm. Did you just call him your baby? Oh, he heard that. He wants to hear it again. He pulses his fingers inside you faster and faster, sucking on your clit, giving you no mercy. The heat inside of you is unbearable. You begin to buck your hips against his face and grab him by the hair, pushing him against your heat, your other hand gripping tightly against the leather seat below you,

It was taking everything Mammon had to not whip himself out and slam himself into you, but he had to make himself more comfortable. As he continued, he used his left hand to undo his pants, releasing his bulge hidden by his boxers. He was only getting harder as you moaned his name again and again.

“I’m... I’m gonna.. gaaaAAAHH!” you moaned out as you reached your orgasm, letting your grip loose from his hair as your body let go of the tension. Mammon laps his tongue down to clean up the mess you made. He gathers some on his tongue, looking up to you with his tongue sticking out, when he suddenly takes it into his mouth and swallows you.

He notices the flaming blush that adorns your cheeks. He brings himself up, sitting on your thighs, his bulge prominent. You stare down his body, glazed in sweat, realizing he lapsed into his demon form as you came down from your orgasm. His horns were shining, wings folded against his back as the car wasn’t a big enough space to let them free. You were positioned on the driver’s side back passenger’s seat, so you decided to slide into the center seat. You reach your hands to touch Mammon’s back, stroking his wings ever so gently. He moans in response, realizing he’s sensitive there. You begin to help guide them open as he leans into you. They fly open and block the whole view out of the windshield, darkening the space between you.

♡

Your hands come down to meet his waistband, tugging on it carefully. You look up into Mammon’s eyes, he can see the desire written over your face. He makes his bulge dance in response, prompting you to go for it. You drag down his boxers and out springs his length, glistening from his precum. It looks so tasty. You lean back in your seat to where you are practically laying down, gripping behind his thighs and urging him to come forward. He was on his knees, his length shadowing over your chest, his tip just barely against your lips. You hold yourself up by your elbows, turning up to him, teasing him “I bet you want your cock in my mouth, don’t you Mammon? You want to see your fragile human squirm under you, taking all of you inside of them?”

Oh, you did it now. His claws getting ever so longer as a growl comes from deep in his chest. “If you want it, show me just how badly,” your last words as he gripped your hair and pushed your mouth around his length, letting out a choke. He moaned in pleasure as he felt himself at the back of your throat, vibrations coming from you barely fitting him inside you. Mammon begins thrusting his hips back and forth, you sucking up on his length oh-so-perfectly. The smell of arousal and the sound of moans fill the car, enveloping both of you. All either of you can feel is bliss. He breaks the silence.

“Y-Y/N... y-you’re so warm, ya s-suck me off so well, k-keep going, I’m getting close-” He can’t speak anymore, feeling the surge of pleasure rush up through his thighs as you swirl your tongue around him, bringing him to the edge. You pull your mouth off of his length and put his hand around it, urging him to get himself off. “I would love if the Great Mammon would cum for me, I want to feel it all over my face, I want you to make me yours, show me who owns me,” you moan up at him, pulling down your bra to release your warm breasts, toying with them to tease him.

“Oh f-fuck, y-you’re all mine, my treasure, my b-baby, I’m.. I’m...” he groans out, and he’s pushed over the edge. He bucks forward, letting out a deep deep growl, moaning your name and climaxing all over your face and your chest, his cum hot against your skin. He looks down at you taking his load and lets out another groan, watching as you lap it up with your fingertips, eventually licking them clean.

♡

He pushes you down against the leather seats, his length rubbing against your throbbing heat, aching for you. You let out a squeal from your sensitivity, your chest arching up towards him. You reach your hands down to try to push him into you but he stops you, grabbing your wrists and pinning them down above your head. He pushes his lips firmly against yours, exploring your mouth with his tongue. Your chests are touching, he’s just about burning you with the heat radiating from his body.

He pulls away from your face and looks down to you, it looks like he wants to say something. He looks... nervous? After all of that?

“Mammon, are you okay?” you asked gently, turning your head slightly, a smile on your face. “Y-yeah, I just don’t wanna hurt ya. I tried to open ya up for me but what if it’s too much for your human body to handle?” he sighs and stares away for a moment. He loosens the grip on your wrists and you cup both of his cheeks, whispering up at him softly, “I trust you with my life, Mammon. I feel so safe with you, you’re my protector. The Great Mammon. I promise if it’s too much I’ll tell you right away. It’s okay baby.”

He nods and smiles with a blush in response, he couldn’t be happier to hear you say those words to him, as unexpected as they are.

You spread open your legs for him, situating your body in a more comfortable spot, preparing for the time of your life. You lift yourself up with your hands and whisper into his ear, “Take me for a ride, won’t you?”

♡

He growls and stretches his arms and his back, preparing himself. You want a ride? A ride is what you’re gonna get, and it’s gonna be a bumpy one.

He picks up your bottom half by your thighs, dragging you towards him, putting you in the perfect position. He takes hold of his length and lines himself up with your opening, rubbing his tip up and down your heat. You squirm under him, pleading with him in your head, dying for him to give you what you’ve only dreamed of for nearly a year now. He hears you struggling and lets out a low chuckle, a bit evil. He likes to see you all worked up for him, there’s nothing better, honestly.

He begins sliding his length inside of you, the heat from within immediately making him jolt. He can’t help the arousal from feeling you around him, squeezing him tight. You let out a small whimper and look up to him, concern suddenly written all over his face.

Your wrists had been freed a while ago so you take this opportunity to grab onto his soft bottom, pushing him further into you, moaning right in his ear. It hurts... it hurts so good. He’s so big compared to you. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as he hits the deepest parts of you. You must have awakened something in him, the look in his eyes giving him an almost primal vibe. He leans down and whispers into your ear along with a growl “That’s a good human, take all of me inside of ya, scream my name, ‘m gonna fuck you so hard ya won’t walk for a week...”

He thrusts in and out of you at a fast pace, hitting your core over and over again. You’re both moaning and groaning into each others’ ears. Mammon grips hard onto the headrests of the seats, pounding into you like it’s his last day to live. Your hands grasping at his shoulders, you can’t help but claw your nails down, leaving red scratches all over his back. He almost hisses in response, causing you to moan out louder. He takes his right hand and brings it to your throat, silencing you. Your eyes roll back into your head once again, your back arching and your hands gripping tight against the leather seats, nearly ripping them open.

♡

His thrusts speed up, bringing you closer and closer to the biggest orgasm of your life. Mammon's hand around your throat, you try to let out a sentence, “Mammoney baby, I’m gonna c-cum for you, p-please, d-don’t hold back,” you managed to say. His face goes beat red and wings flutter behind him.

You stroke his horns atop his head, barely letting out one last sentence. “F-fill me up with your cum, m-mark your t-territory, I’m a-all yours-” your sentence is cut off as your orgasm takes over your body, Mammon releasing your throat, you proceeding to scream his name in pleasure as you gripped his length inside of you, trying to juice him.

He pounds his length into you faster and faster, bringing himself to the edge of his climax. He can’t hold back, can’t speak. He brings his head down to bite your neck, leaving teeth marks and a little bit of blood afterwards, marking you as his. He sucks on his marking and groans out loudly in pleasure, unable to contain himself any longer. You can feel his length twitch as he fills you up inside, heating the inner walls of your core, giving you the most butterflies you’ve ever had.

♡

You both look down and giggle along with deep breaths, you did a number to the seats of his car. You look at him in worry as he sees the condition of the leather. He notices that you look scared so he holds you tight to him, body-to-body warmth between you.

“I can already tell what you’re ‘bout to say, and it’s alright. Y’mean more to me than some leather seats. Now I can look at my seats ‘n remember my first time with ya, amirite?” he says with a smile, placing the most gentle of kisses on your lips, glazed with sweat.

You go to try to stand up to get out of the car but your body is beyond it’s limits. Mammon notices you struggling to get up and chuckles. “I told ya you wouldn’t be able t’walk for a while.”

♡

He pulls his boxers back on and picks you up bridal style out of the car seat, carrying you down the stairs and onto his bed gently. He remembers tearing up your underwear so he dashes to his closet, finding one of his favorite t-shirts and a pair of pajama pants and swiftly bringing them over to the bed.

“Put these on, we don’t need ya walking out with stains on your uniform and no underwear,” he explains with a giggle. He looked up at you to see you looking sad. “What’sa matter treasure?”

“Well, I was hoping... maybe... that I could stay with you for the night?” you ask, nervously waiting for a response. Mammon helps you take off your bralette and get dressed in his comfy clothes, and cups your cheek, looking into your eyes.

“Of course y’can stay with me, you’re my human! My treasure! Who wouldn’t wanna stay with the Great Mammon anyway?” he smirks and chuckles, you smacking his chest in return.

He crawls up into the bed with you, laying you next to him and pulling your back into his chest. He covers you both with his bedspread and begins rubbing your arms, resting his cheek against your ear. He had never felt this way before. He really fell for a human. Does he regret it? Not at all, he wouldn’t have it any other way. The only problem now? Now he feels like he has to protect you forever, all the time. He loves you too much to ever see you get hurt.

“S-so... does this mean... y-you’re my girlfriend?” Mammon let out shyly, almost expecting you to say something negative or reject him.

You turn back to face him, your arm around his waist. You smile up at him, “I would love nothing more than to be your girlfriend... your treasure.” You plant the lightest kiss on his forehead and turn back around as he begins to spoon you again. Within the next few minutes, you fell asleep in his arms, not a care in the world, no thoughts besides the thought of being his treasure forever.

♡

The brothers felt bad about what happened earlier and were worried about Mammon’s well-being. Lucifer approached his door with the brothers, quickly realizing it’s locked. He took his master keys out of his coat pocket and unlocked Mammon’s door. He took a few steps in and froze in place. His brothers glanced with him over his shoulder to see Mammon with his arms around you, protecting you, sleeping next to you.

They all couldn’t bring themselves to make a sound. They couldn’t believe their eyes. Y/N... and Mammon?

“It’s about time he told her how he felt!” Asmo shouted as the brothers all shushed him, not wanting to wake the two of you.

“We can talk to him in the morning, let him have peace for once today. I can only imagine Y/N needs rest as well,” Lucifer explained.

Lucifer and the brothers turned around and Lucifer locked the door behind him, a cheeky smirk on his face. He was proud of his brother for finally being honest with himself and taking pride in what he wanted. Would he ever let Mammon know that? Oh, hell no.

♡

I’ve wanted to see a fic about this ever since I fell in love with Mammon and saw his room, so I wrote it!

I’m only comfortable with F!MC writing since I’ve never familiarized myself with GN!MC or M!MC. My apologies!

I do NOT give permission to post this anywhere else. I also have this posted on Wattpad, my username is daradoodlebug. If you like my work, please feel free to like, comment, follow, share, or REBLOG. Thank you for taking the time to read my first piece!

#obey me #obey me!#obey me mammon #obey me! shall we date?#obey me smut #obey me fanfic #obey me fandom #f!mc x mammon #mammon x f!mc #mammon x reader #mammon obey me #dara's devildom diaries

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chelleztjs18 · 3 years ago

Text

Lost in Assistance - Ch. 5

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

GIF: I do not own this GIF.

Summary: Y/n is a professional celebrity's personal assistant in Hollywood got hired with two years contract to be the assistant of the famous and talented Elizabeth Olsen / Lizzie by her manager. Both Y/n and Lizzie hate each other since day one, and they have mutual friend. One is as stubborn as the other, will Y/n stay when Lizzie gives attitudes and tries her best to make her quit before the contract ends?

Warning: fluff, angst, smut (in future chapters), swearing words ( +18 only)

All chapters

“Hey, I’m leaving now. Are you there yet?” Lizzie texted shortly after she turned on her car. “I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” Aubrey replied. “Okay, on my way. It won’t get me too long to get there.” She tossed her cell phone onto the passenger side seat and started to drive.

It’s almost lunch time hour, the traffic is getting undeniably more crowded. It’s typical L.A traffic with its uncertainty crowd flow on random parts here and there. While driving Lizzie starts to think about the meeting today. A part of her actually feels bad knowing that you might have heard what she said on the phone. Deep down she knows it’s not your fault to be caught in the middle of this whole matter. The more she thinks about it, the more it triggers her memory that your were actually the girl who smiled nicely to her at the coffee shop who didn’t do anything that made Lizzie get recognized when she was trying to not to be and that was why Lizzie nodded and smiled as an appreciation towards you.

Of course once her common sense slowly starts to get her to think in the right way, her stubbornness quickly erupts and plays with her emotion again. Especially when her memory rewinded the view when your left hand grabbed the pen and signed the contract even after she gave you a cold intimidating statement then it was followed by the memory of all of her conversations with Jane and her mom who hired you without her agreeing to it. It makes her feel that they don’t think she is old enough to deal with this situation. Her anxiety only makes her more emotional in handling this matter and forces her to dislike you even more and to think what she should do to make you quit.

All the thinking while driving clearly makes it feels faster to get to the restaurant where she's meeting Aubrey. She parked her car, then walked into this quiet restaurant. She was greeted by the host then she explained she is meeting her friend here as her green eyes are searching for where Aubrey sits. “Lizzie! Over here!” Aubrey’s voice quickly caught her attention. Lizzie sees her sitting at the table in the patio and walks to her.

“Hey, how are you? It took longer to get here than you thought huh?” She gave Lizzie a hug. “Hey, how are you? Yeah, sorry, I got caught in a little traffic.” Lizzie sighed then she took a seat. The girls order some food and drink to accompany them while they are catching up.

“Sooo, what's up with your text yesterday. What do you want to figure out together with me? From your text, I can feel you were upset.” Aubrey starts the conversation. “Really? You can sense how I feel from my text?” Lizzie rolled her eyes playfully. “Of course, we are best friends, more like a soulmate I think but seriously what’s going on?” She joked around but tried to dig into what's going on at the same time.

Lizzie starts with a sigh and takes a sip of her drink. “Do you remember when I told you that Jane and my mom are thinking of getting me a new personal assistant?”

“Yeah? They still talk about it with you?” Aubrey said as she took a bite of her food.

“Even worse! They hired one already regardless of the fact that I said that I don't need one. I met her this morning. She came by with Mitchel Elrod to sign the contract and everything. Turns out she is his best friend.” Lizzie explained with huge annoyance.

“Oh yeah, I remember him. I got my assistant from his company. Does she know how you feel about this thing?”

“Oh that part, she might have heard what I said when I was talking with you on the phone this morning because I didn’t know that she was sitting in front of me in the waiting room. I felt terrible actually but then in the meeting I was thinking fuck it so I told her bluntly straight to her face that I actually don’t need her and I’m here because I’m forced to give it a try so this better be worth it.” Lizzie put her head to her hands, her thumbs massage her temples a little bit.

Aubrey gasped, “No you did not! Then what did she say?” Aubrey got so invested with what’s going on.

“Nothing really. She just said she hopes I like the way she works. That’s all. I was hoping she would change her mind and say no to work for me after what I said to her, but then she signed everything like she was trying to say “challenge accepted” to me.” Lizzie motions an air quote then takes another sip of her drink to calm herself down. “It’s like a competition to me now. This just made me doesn’t like her more.” She added.

“So I need your help to figure out how to make her quit because the contract said it can be terminated if there is a mutual agreement from both parties. So if one day she says she wants to quit, I will agree to it and boom! Case close!” Lizzie told her idea with confidence.

“Why are you trying so hard anyway? I meant Jane and your mom have a point. She will be very busy, they just want someone to help to provide your needs at work. You're gonna have a few busy years sister with all the upcoming filmings and others. It’s for your own sake I guess.” Aubrey shrugged as she tried to talk Lizzie out.

“Oh my God! Aubrey, you are supposed to be on my side. The problem is my anxiety. It’s hard to adjust with new people. This is also about how they don’t listen to my opinion or what I want. They hired her without finalizing it with me first.” Lizzie explains in frustration.

“It’s also about your ego isn’t it?” Aubrey added as she knows her best friends very well.

“They know you would still say no even if they asked you before they hired her and honey I really understand your anxiety, I'm so sorry. Okay, I’ll help you. Why don’t you just give her hard times at work? Give her “hell” at work.” She suggested.

“And how do I do that?” Lizzie asked in confusion.

“I don’t know. Just be as bitchy as you can, ask ridiculous things. Make her do stuff that doesn’t make sense. So basically gets on her nerves every single day, I guess. Be difficult, you know what I meant.” Aubrey continues with her suggestions.

“I think you are right! Aubrey you are a genius! Thank you!”

“What would you do without me?” Aubrey rolls her eyes joking around. “Anyway, what’s her name again? How does she look?” All of this conversation made Aubrey curious and pulled out her phone.

“Y/n Y/l/n. She looks okay and well dressed. A little taller than me. She’s - “ Aubrey all of a sudden cuts her off before she can even finish her sentence.

“Wait! what?! Y/n Y/L/n?” Aubrey is as surprised as she can be, then looks at her phone and shows it to her confused friend. “Is this her?” Lizzie squints her eyes as she takes a look at the social media account profile Aubrey shows her. “YES! That’s her. Wait, how do you know? Please don’t tell me you know her too.” Lizzie covers her face with both of her hands as a sign of frustration.

“Actually, Yes I know her. I know her from a mutual friend quite a while ago. She also introduced me to Mitchel. I didn’t know she came back to work with him. I haven’t seen her for a while, we just sometimes text each other here and there just to say hi.”

“Aww, she hasn’t really changed. I always like the way she dresses and her good taste of music. Look, isn’t she cute?” Aubrey smirked jokingly as she continued checking Y/n’s social media on her phone and showed it to Lizzie.

“What are you talking about Aubrey? Cute or not, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m upset with this whole situation and I already do not like her, besides I don’t date girls. I’m dating Robbie. You know that! So can you focus here please?" Lizzie snapped her finger to regain Aubrey's attention back to the main topic.

“Haha, okay chill. I was just joking because you are so tense right now. You are dating Robbie but it doesn't look or feel like you guys are dating. You both barely spend time together. He is too busy with his band and his tours. You know what? I started to think he dates you just to boost his fame.” Aubrey casually points out her opinion to her best friends.

“Aubrey, I’m here not to talk about my relationship.” Lizzie reminded her why they are there.

“Okay okay!” Aubrey laughed. “Anyway, I don’t think I can help you to give more ideas to annoy y/n at work. I love you but I didn’t know it was Y/n you were talking about. She’s my friend too, I can't do that to her. At least I gave you the idea in the beginning but just considered I never tell you anything. Sorry babe, I hope you understand.”

“That’s too bad but okay, I understand.” She pouted but she can’t complain because at least Aubrey already gave her a little rough idea what to do.

The girls used the chance to also catch up with each other’s life but unfortunately it has to come to an end as one of them has to go home.

“Okay Liz, sorry I gotta go. I’ll see you when I see you, okay. Remember, don’t hate her too much if you don’t want to end up falling for her. Well that was what old people used to say, I think.” Aubrey teased Lizzie while giving her a goodbye hug.

“Aubrey stop! That won’t happen. See you soon. Thanks for the help.” Lizzie hugs her goodbye. Lizzie then got into her car and pulled her phone out.

“Hey Y/n, this is Elizabeth Olsen. On friday, we are supposed to drive together to my photoshoot location. Meet me at the office at 6 AM. We’ll take your car from there. Oh, don’t forget my coffee. The one I like. It’s on the list.” Lizzie texted Y/n with no signs of compromise in text.

“Hi. Ms. Olsen, I thought the schedule was at 8 AM but okay, I will meet you there at 6 AM on Friday, with your coffee.” Agreeing is all y/n can do. It’s the first day of work anyway, what’s the worst could happen.

Ch. 6

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writing-in-april · 4 years ago

Text

Green with Envy

Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: Spencer gets green with envy over something reader can’t control angering reader- hot and heavy makeup sex ensues.

A/N: hey guys 🥺 this is my sixth fic for my 1250 follower celebration and this is a day late- thank you to everyone who was super nice and considerate about me pushing this off till today- I was having a super hard time emotionally last night and I needed some time to myself. Again thanks so so much- this is based off of a combination of this request and this request for jealous Spencer. Also part two to Dr. Jekyll will be out tonight or tomorrow depending on if I can finish it- still a little bit behind schedule from me pushing this off last night. Thanks for reading 🥺

Warnings: 18+, Someone’s harassing reader at work, Spencer is a jerk at first I promise he apologizes, Unprotected sex, Oral sex (F receiving)

Main Masterlist Word Count: 2.1k

“Could you go and check case evidence? And bring the detective with you.” Hotch had approached me, giving me orders for the next step to take in the team’s investigation. I accepted them with no discernible dissent in my voice towards Hotch, even though I would have rather stayed with Spencer working on the geographical profile. Especially since the detective had not taken my subtle hints of turning him down when he flirted with me. Unfortunately like many of these instances it was just easier to keep my mouth shut rather than cause problems with the police department we were liaising with. Though I still did know if I’d I had told Hotch he would’ve understood and changed it with a drop of a hat. it was still just easier to not say anything and power through the case, however sad and disappointing it was.

The detective had been hot on my heels ever since we had touched down here. At first it had been endearing and I just carefully let him down, saying a simple no to coffee.

I was sure he got the impression that if he ‘convinced me’ more he’d get me to say yes. I hadn’t told him until later that I had a boyfriend because it hadn’t been his business. I had only told him with a snippy tone in frustration when he would not let up. Unfortunately for me again he seemed to take it as a sign of ‘playing hard to get’ and did not stop his pursuits. I should probably tell Hotch about it before I punch him in the nose.

I was frustrated and annoyed, plus basically every other negative feeling in the book. I just wanted to be alone, or with Spencer.

When I finally got time to slip out of the room for a breather I scampered my way over to where my boyfriend was as he always gave me some sort of solace.

Unfortunately, it seems like the universe was against me this week.

Spencer’s eyes usually held not one ounce of anger, especially not towards me. When he flashed me a glare I got a little angry myself. What had I done to face the wrath of the genius? His demeanor towards me wasn’t doing anything to squash my bad feelings as it normally did, right now it was just fueling the flames.

I decided to just ask him upfront after a third glare was flashed in my direction instead of dancing around the issue any more, we did have a job to do, “Hey- Spencer, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” His tone was clipped and sharp, sharp enough that it felt like it could cut me.I wouldn’t have been that surprised if it did. It was obvious that ‘nothing’ was not true, there was obviously something going on.

I decided to ask again just to be sure, though there was definitely a possibility I was going to be snapped at again, “Are you sure?”

The harsh glare I was given was more piercing than the previous ones, cutting me deep.

“Yes, I’m sure!” Was whispered shouted at me along with the glare. It took every fiber of my being not to snap his head off even harsher than what he had done to me. Blinking back tears I got up and stormed off, completely done with the day- with this case. I just wanted to put this case behind me, putting it in the files to never be thought about by me again.

—

When we got to the hotel, after we were finished for the day, there was an eerie silence that fell over us. The silence only held for a moment as we stared at each other. I wasn’t going to speak before he was and if it wasn’t an apology I didn’t know if I had the energy left in me to say anything back.

I had ended up telling Hotch what had been going on with the detective, it had become too much for it to be reasonable to brush off (though in a perfect world brushing off someone like that wouldn’t be a reality but that’s just a daydream of mine I guess)

I stood at the other side of the room for a minute waiting to see if he’d say anything or if we’d be dancing around each other like this for the rest of the night.

He ran his hands through his hair a few times, looking like he was trying to collect his thoughts and sat down on one of the beds in the room. I wondered also if I’d be slipping into the second untouched bed by the window tonight.

“I-I’m so sorry.” My only response at first was a slight hum from the back of my throat while I processed my own thoughts. He seemed sincere, I wanted to believe he was sincere that is.

“Sorry for what?” On the ride back to the hotel, once my irritation towards his attitude had somewhat satiated in the cool silence of the car, I had figured out what he had been bothered by. Spencer wasn’t all that hard to read once I got to know him. However, I wasn’t going to provide the reason for it, I still wanted to hear the reasoning from his own mouth.

“I was envious- jealous of you and the detective today.”

“You were envious?” Being green with envy wasn’t something that Spencer had ever expressed in our relationship before. Being envious- or jealous as most people would call it could be something to be played with in a relationship. It’s an emotion to be delicately handled otherwise the relationship could be filled with possessiveness and aggression.

Spencer was for sure out of line earlier today, he was certainly right when he said I’m sorry.

But, since he had said sorry and that I could tell he was sincere, maybe there was still a chance to play with the delicate emotion in a way that would not crack the foundation. Plus the added fact that I didn’t need to ask for an apology was comforting. There was no need for a fight when the person at fault admitted it. And, in time I’m sure when our relationship has had more time to build a larger foundation, those feelings of envy would not be so easily provoked— unless of course if it was time to play with those delicate emotions.

“Y-yeah, I was getting mad that I wasn’t the one that you were with today. A-and- I also didn’t like that the detective wouldn’t stop flirting with you…” His stuttered apology wasn’t what I was totally paying attention to, though don’t get me wrong I did appreciate it. What I was focused on was how much I wanted to claim him, to show him how much I was just as much as he was mine.

“Well, I’m glad you apologized, I accept it and I understand where you were coming from- plus the case hasn’t been easy on any of us. Just don’t ever do something like that again, please.” Spencer’s shoulders slumped from a sigh and an added nod, relaxing from my words after being tense with anxiety. Sauntering over to him after I had accepted his apology with one plan in mind made my panties wet with anticipation. When I straddled his lap his eyes blew wide, not expecting these turn of events. I grabbed the back of his hair, not too harshly, just enough to get a firm grip to tilt his hair back while I spoke into the shell of his ear, “And, now I’d like to show you how much I belong to you— and it’s just as much as you belong to me.”

Instead of getting an intelligible response from Spencer all I got was a moan, not that I was complaining. While I captured his lips in a breathless kiss I began to grind my hips down onto him in slow circles, giving him a taste of what’s to come.

He surrendered to my dominance in the kiss almost immediately, letting me guide him in any way I wanted him to go. As I rocked my hips over the bulge in his slacks I could feel it grow harder underneath me, I couldn’t wait to free it from its confines. I made sure to mark up his neck with as many hickies that made me satisfied- plus I let him give a few to me as well.

His submission underneath me wasn’t something that I was unused to. This time seemed to be a little different however.

I couldn’t place my finger on what exactly was different, maybe it was that we were so desperate for each other that the clothes practically melted off- which was a lot quicker than how we normally took our pace.

“Can I show you how good I can be for you, Miss?” His eyes were wide and begging, there was no way I could refuse a face like that.

That was how I ended up riding his face, with no hesitation in sight from him. All he wanted to do was to please and he was greedy for it. Even after I had started to pull up off of him after I had already had a shattering orgasm he pulled his hands down onto my hips to have me writhing on top of him im overstimulation. I could’ve punished him for it, but it felt too good to punish.

I was going to make sure he was ready too, possibly by taking him into my mouth for a bit, which I loved to do. However, his little whimpered out pleads about how much he wanted to feel me were just as hard to ignore as the previous pleas. It was hard to say no to a face that looked so pretty when he begged.

I sunk down on him slowly, at least letting myself relish in that feeling for a bit before Spencer would undoubtedly coax me into a faster pace because of how desperate he was. My own desperation wasn’t too far behind to be honest.

When I took him down fully to the hilt I only let myself feel the weight of him inside me for a moment before I started to roll my hips to create a rhythm. The pace I created was just as everything else up until this point had been, desperate.

While I bounced on him I had become unsatisfied with the amount of marks I had left on him before, diving into his neck to pepper them with hickies not really considering the fact that we had to go to work tomorrow. At least he still had that concealer he bought when we first started dating.

Seems that Spencer could not seem to think of it either as in between my ravishing of his neck and upper chest he’d also been getting in his fair share of marks. His were more centered at my chest, he’d been making sure my boobs were not neglected.

My second orgasm washed over me when Spencer brought up his fingers to rub my clit in quick circles. When my pace began to stutter in their movements as I rode myself through my orgasm while trying to help Spencer reach his, his hands came up to my hips to help aid me. Once my pleasure had partially abated I began to focus on his.

“Come on, sweet boy, you’ve shown me how good you are, now I want you to cum for me.”

His eyes rolled back into his head at my words, close to falling off the edge. I grabbed both of his hands interlinking them together and pinned them to the bed to help push him towards his release. A high pitched whine came up from his throat and he fell over the edge, cumming inside me.

We stayed together like that for a bit while we were both coming down from our highs. For a while there was only silence between us as we basked in each other's presence until I decided to make a joke.

“Are you no longer green with envy?” I simpered a bit at him, teasing him just a little as I started to even out my breath some whileI also traced all the marks I had left on him. I was teasing him about the events of today, but I’m reality that horrible detective was far from my mind- it was just Spencer and I. I’d have to see later while looking in the mirror what marks he had also left on me to claim me just as much as I had done to him.

His nose scrunched up at me and he giggled, his giggles were my favorite sound. When I first heard it I knew I would become addicted to pulling little giggles out of him as often as I could. In an uncharacteristic comeback through giggles Spencer then said, “No you kinda fucked it out of me.”

—-

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word-scribbless · 4 years ago

Text

Gibbs x female reader

Warning: Sexual talk but no actual smut.

Summary: Y/N is an FBI profiler who consults with NCIS. Gibbs interigation of Holly Snow, and his remarks about how he may or may not be in the bedroom lead to interesting talks between Y/N and Gibbs.

A Time and a Place.

Masterlist

————————

Y/N watched the integration of Holly Snow with a small smirk and an undeniable twist of jealousy and something else she didn’t really want to name in her gut. Sure the FBI profiler had had a crush on the agent since she began consulting for NCIS about 5 years ago now. They always flirted, and he was nicer to her than anyone, but he was Gibbs. He was unattainable and she knew she had to just be happy with being flirty friends.

She stood on the other side of the interigation room glass, trying to hide how much his words were affecting her. Tony teased her enough as it was she didn’t need him to her reaction to Gibbs saying there was a ‘time and place’ to be rough fueling the fire. Which is why she waited until after the interrogation, when Gibbs had entered the observation room and tony had left to make her comment.

“Sooo” she said with a smile, watching as Gibbs turned a skeptical eye towards her. He knew that tone. “A time and a place huh?” Referring to Gibbs answer to Snow.

She watched Gibbs roll his eyes and move towards her. She didn’t miss the way his eyes darkened a little at her words though, and she loved that.

“Yn” he warned, fixing her with the Gibbs glare.

“What? She asked innocently, touching his forearm. He leaned closer to her and warned again.

“Yn...”

“Right not the time?” She smiled.

“Or the place.” He whispered teasingly in her ear. So close she could feel his breathe (and his smirk) on her neck. He Loved the shiver it caused in her. They were always playful and flirty but god she wished he’d make a move. She knew though, this was better than nothing. He was rarely this open with anyone.

“Okay okay” she held her hands up and began to walk away. “I’ll get back to work.”

Before she could get too far she felt Gibbs gentle grip on her arms. She turned back to face him and swallowed deeply at the look in his eyes. It was between desire, nerves, and something else she’s too scared to name.

“Tonight my place.” He said in the low gruff Gibbs voice that she loves.

She raised an eyebrow at him and smirked,

“Is that the time and place?” She joked.

“Mhm” he replied with a small smile before brushing some hair behind her ear gently and adding “it’s also a date.”

“A date?” She answered, breathless at his gentle touch and his unexpected request.

He Nodded at her with a smile.

“Okay I’ll be there” she nodded back, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

Before she could move to the door again Gibbs placed a kiss on her forehead and whispered “good”.

Causing her to smile as she reached for the door. “Tonight” she said with a smile.

“Tonight” he confirmed and watched her turn the handle to leave.

Relief washed over him that he finally was able to make a move.

Y/N wasn’t a new guest at Gibb’s house. They often had take out or watched movies. Tonight however, was the first time she was nervous. Those nerves quickly washed away as she laughed, and ate and drank with Gibbs.

Things were slightly different than usual, he sat a little closer, held her hand every once in a while, kissed her cheek. All things she decided, she’d love to get used to.

After dinner, they moved to the couch, Gibbs pulled her under his arm and they settled in to a comfortable silence as an old movie played.

Eventually y/n felt comfortable enough to bring back up their usual banter.

“So are we gonna talk about what you said today?” She smirked looking up at him.

“You really haven’t dropped that?” He chuckled.

“I mean I’ve thought about it, I’m curious.” She said and looked down shyly, realizing what she had just admitted to him.

“Oh yeah?” He smirked, lifting her chin back to look her in the eyes.

“Yeah, you’re sorta hard to figure out. You’re so stoic and strong I could see you liking to be rough but you’re also passionate and caring and careful, especially with me.”

He Huffed a small smile and looked a little shy at her words.

“What you think I don’t notice that you’re different towards me?”

Gibbs Shrugged, but she noticed the small smile didn’t leave his face.

“My favorite part of the day is when you look up from your coffee to check on me, or when you walk me to my car, just to make sure I’m not in the dark alone.” She admits and takes his hand.

He smiled at her and then reverted back to the original topic with a smirk.

“so what’s your assessment doc? Was I telling the truth?”

“I think so” she nodded

“Yeah?” He pressed and watched her nod before speaking again.

“There’s a time and a place. I think if you took me to your bedroom right now you’d be slow, and sweet. You’d still want to be in charge but you’d be careful with me. I think the more comfortable you got with me, the more we, were intimate...”She said and they both laughed softly. “you’d enjoy letting me take charge too. Let me set the pace, let me make you feel good, show you how sexy you are to me.” She said the last part softer, moving one of her hands to his chest. “But that takes trust, love.”

She said and they both looked down a bit shyly.

“Either way, you’d be sure I was take care of. safe but also...” she paused and then softly added “Satisfied, really satisfied.” She looked back up with a small smirk to see Gibbs smirking back at her.

“Am I right?” She asked quietly.

“Mhm” he nodded “you didn’t really mention the rough part too much though” he pushed, enjoying this side of her much more than he’d ever let himself before. They always joked about these things, but this, a real conversation about it? He couldn’t deny it was affecting him, in a very good way.

Y/N smiled and said “I think that’d be easier for you than letting me take charge. I think you’d like to be a little bit rough, make me breathless and clawing at your back, give a hickey or two, let me give you some. but you’d never hurt me, wouldn’t do anything too risky. I don’t think that type of rough would be enjoyable for you, even in a playful way. Which I appreciate.”

Gibbs nodded and replied. “I know.”

“You know?”

“Mhm” he replied causing y/n to raise a questioning eyebrow.

“You’re not the only one that’s thought about it.” He admitted and she could swear she say his face redden just a bit.

“Hmm what do you think I’d be like then?” She asked, readjusting her self so her legs were over his lap and she was facing him more, still tucked under his arm, his other arm now resting over her legs.

“Passionate,” he responded, looking away, almost as if he were imagining it. “you’d lose yourself in me. Throw your head back, move with me, trust me to take over. Trust me to give you pleasure and care for you.” He said softly, his eyes turning that dark color she had seen earlier as he looked back into her eyes.

“I do trust you.” She said taking his face In her hands.

“ I trust you too.” He said, pulling her closer by her wait.

“Yeah?” She whispered and he began to lean in.

“Mhm” he said before connecting their lips. She sighed at the feeling of his lips on hers and melted into him. Opening her lips to allow his tongue entrance. Gibbs began to deepen the kiss even more when Y/N pulled back gently.

His hand that wasn’t on her waist was cupping her cheek and he moved his thumb over it lightly, looking at her in question.

“Gibbs I think you know this, but sex, it it doesn’t come with out feelings for me.”

He nodded “I do know” he said and placed a loving kiss on her head, sensing that she wasn’t finished.

“I- I have feelings for you, feelings I’m not going to express fully because I don’t want to scare you away.” God she knew him too well.

“I’m not scared Y/N.” He assured her.

Sure he’d been terrified of his feelings for her at first. He denied them, wished them away, saw women that would never be her, but the truth was he didn’t want them to go away. He’d do anything for her, to make her happy, safe, loved. He wanted to be the one to deserve her, and he was ready to try to be.

“I know, but I know you, when your heart gets involved you shut down.” She said as she stroked his cheek.

“My hearts been involved for a long time.” He whispered, leaning in to kiss her nose and nuzzle his against her neck.

He knew being affectionate and truthful was the only way to show her he was serious. She hugged him tighter around the middle and asked the question he was waiting for.

“Rule 12?”

“You’re a consultant” he replied against the soft skin of her neck.

“Ahh a loop hole” she laughed softly and pulled back to look at him.

He nodded and lifted his head to look at her.

“I’d transfer” she said looking in his eyes.

He wasn’t expecting that.

“Y/n” he sighed.

“I don’t want to push you, if you don’t feel how I do, but Gibbs I lo- I care about you and I’d transfer if it would mean you giving this a chance.” She blurted.

“Don’t transfer.” He said cupping her cheek.

She nodded and looked down, a bit sadly. Gibbs realized she misunderstood him.

“I understand, but this, the things we talked about... in the bedroom, I can’t do that with out strings.” She said and Gibbs hated how defeated she sounded.

“I’m not asking you to.” He said

She nodded, still looking upset and he realized it was time to be be clear. He took a deep breath and put his hand on the side of her neck, guiding her eyes to his.

“I want this Y/N.” He confessed.

“You do?” She smiled wide as he nodded.

“Yes, I trust you. I know you deserve more than me...”

“N-“ she tried to disagree but he stopped her

“BUT. I know you don’t want anyone else. You deserve everything you want.”

She nodded and kissed him quickly.

“Jethro, I want you.” She whispered against his lips.

“I want you too.” He whispered back.

She kissed him again, slowly before pulling away and moving to straddle him.

“I want this” she said kissing his head, “this” kissing his heart, “and th-“ she began to say and move lower before he stopped her, pulling her back up.

“What?” She breathed out.

“Y/N I love you.” He breathed out quietly, staring into her eyes.

Her breath caught as she tried to speak. “I-“

“I needed you to know before this goes further.” He confessed.

His words caused her to smile and kiss him sweetly before pulling back, cupping his face and responding.

“I love you too jethro.”

“Mm” he hummed as he kissed her lips. “Good.” He said kissing her again. “Proceed.” He said looking toward where she was originally headed.

Y/N giggled along with his laugh and kissed him, repeating her previously intended path.

@diesinspanishbcimhispanic @averyhotchner

#female!reader #ncis fandom #ncis x reader #ncis imagine #leroy jethro gibbs imagine #leroy jethro gibbs x reader #gibbs x reader

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2manyfandoms2count · 3 years ago

Text

I love you (not) - Chapter 15

It's already September and I can't believe this fic isn't finished yet, I swear May was like. Last week.

Anyway, this chapter is full of soft touches because yes, hope you enjoy!

First | Previous | AO3

---

Chapter 15: In which the real pining begins

“Hey Chat, it’s LB, I might be a little late for tonight’s patrol, I’ve been running all day and I still have a couple of things I need to take care of… Could you maybe get some pastries? I’m starving, you’ll forever be my absolute hero (and of course I’ll pay you back, I just can’t swing by a bakery right now). See you in a bit!”

Chat Noir paused as he finished listening to Ladybug’s message, slowly wrapping his head around the fact that she probably wouldn’t be the only one arriving late, despite his best efforts at being early. He looked at her profile picture pensively. His partner had absolutely no idea, but even she was trying to get him to do the right thing, namely: sending him to Marinette.

Well, to a bakery, but he knew very well that he wouldn’t find it in him to bring anything less than the best pastries in Paris to his Lady, especially if it meant getting a grip and owning up to his actions.

Because yes, he was ashamed of admitting it even to himself, but he’d been a coward ever since the fight against Hostzilla. He’d avoided Marinette for almost two weeks (as Chat Noir, obviously, although the past few days had seen his guilt increase so much that he’d struggled to even hold her gaze at school), partly because of last minute additions to his schedule, but mostly because he’d gotten cold feet anytime he’d come remotely close to her building.

It was time this stopped and that he bit the bullet. It wasn’t like Marinette could easily make the first step; even staying up to scrutinise the skyline would have been fruitless: he’d made some convoluted detours on his way home from patrol to avoid a rerun of the fateful night that had brought them into their fake - no, not fake, complicated relationship.

He’d had enough time to mull it all over, and it was clearly time to do something about the situation.

This tiptoeing around the issue ended tonight.

---

The bells jingled quietly as he pushed the bakery door. The warm backlighting and the sweet smell of rising dough welcomed him and made him relax a little, as did the sight of Marinette tiredly stretching behind the counter. He smiled softly. There really was something about this place that made him feel at ease, safe, even.

Marinette straightened up at the sight of Chat Noir awkwardly shuffling near the entrance of the shop, leaning forwards to take a look at one of the displays, and bit back a smug smile at the thought that her plan to lure him in had worked perfectly. His stomach grumbled and she stifled a giggle. The sound was enough to draw his attention; their gazes met, and both felt their cheeks pinken.

“Hey, Chat,” Marinette said almost breathlessly after what seemed like a thousand years of just staring into each other's eyes. “Long time no see.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Even though her tone had been void of any accusation, he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, making her melt slightly. “I’ve been pretty busy lately.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but he still felt bad about leaving her hanging for so long.

“It’s alright, being a superhero is a full time job, after all." She cleared her throat. "How can I help you today?” She winced imperceptibly at her cowardice. They were the only ones in the bakery, it was stupid to ignore the elephant in the room. Still, she grabbed a paper bag and a pair of tongs, and looked at him expectantly.

“Oh, erm, I need pastries. I’m on snack duty for patrol.” He chuckled nervously.

“Ah, well, I can't let our beloved heroes starve, can I? I wouldn’t want the responsibility of another Feast on my hands.” She winked.

"Don't remind me.” Chat shuddered at the memory of the sentimonster’s gooey tongue.

“Is there anything I can get you in particular?” She stifled a giggle at the same image.

“Well, you know me, I can’t leave those chouquettes on your hands, it would be a waste.” He eyed the relevant basket hungrily.

“Are you sure you want all of them? This is... 500g, the equivalent of six portions.”

“And?” He cocked an eyebrow.

“Right, nevermind.” She shook her head, an amused smile spreading to her lips. “Anything else?”

“Hmm, could I have a collection of macarons for Ladybug? Anything but passion fruit, she always gives those to me so I’m not sure she likes them, and since I already have the chouquettes... I think I'm covered.”

Marinette rolled her eyes as she picked the sweet delicacies for herself. Leave it to Chat to believe that her leaving his favourite macarons aside was because she didn’t like them.

“Will that be all?” She cocked her head to the side when she was done packing the box.

“To ring up, yes.” He paused. “But I was actually wondering if you purr-haps had time for a quick chat?”

“With you? Always,” Marinette flashed him a relieved smile as she handed him the pastries and signalled for him to follow her towards the back. She saw he was about to protest, so she added: “If you’re thinking about paying for this, I’m pretty sure my parents would cut me off if they found out I’d sold anything to you or Ladybug, so I'm not risking it. And don’t worry, it’s been a slow night so I don’t have to stay at the counter - we’ll hear if anyone comes in. You said that this was going to be quick, right?”

“I did.” Chat scratched the back of his head nervously as they sat down on the bottom steps of the building’s staircase.

There was a pause as the both of them tried to organise their thoughts and put them into words that would lead to a definite, yet delicate rejection. Marinette smoothed the fabric of her apron as she did, while Chat fiddled with the pastry bag.

“So, the other night, huh?” He awkwardly cleared his throat, wincing at his sudden lack of eloquence. He decided to go for the half-lie route rather than delve straight into their kiss. If he was already this tongue-tied while keeping his thoughts about it at bay, who knew what mentioning it would do. “I couldn’t find you at the hotel after the fight… Were you hit by the akuma?”

Marinette’s head shot up and she squinted at him, calculating her next move. Chat’s hypothesis provided good foundations to build on. Maybe he’d even get to the conclusion she wanted him to reach on his own.

“You can tell me, I promise I won’t be mad.” He smiled softly.

“Fine,” she sighed dramatically. “I overheard Hostzilla say she was looking for me just after you left, and I thought I could placate her a little so I went out in the open. She didn’t even see me, I got knocked out by a fancy table almost just as I came out of the hotel.” She rolled her eyes, hoping her lie was believable enough.

“Meowch.” Chat winced, before gently cupping her chin and tilting it to either side, trying to assess any remaining damage.

“I’m fine though, don’t worry! Ladybug’s cure got me right back on my feet.” She nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, then reluctantly pushed Chat’s hand away.

“I knew it wasn’t like you not to show up at some point during the fight.” He smiled triumphantly to himself at the thought that his vigilance during the battle hadn’t been completely uncalled for. He frowned and cleared his throat before continuing. “But it’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about. I’m not entirely sure why you were targeted this time, but I’m just afraid that if we…” He trailed off, suddenly unsure of what to say next. They’d never actually elucidated their relationship status; if they went forward, would they be continuing to date, or just starting? Would Marinette be offended if he used the latter?

“If we… continue on our set course?” Marinette offered.

“Yes, exactly, thank you.” He flashed her a quick smile. “I’m afraid that if we continue on our set course, there might be more opportunities for you to get caught up in fights, especially if word about our relationship gets out. I don’t want to put you in harm’s way, Marinette, I couldn’t bear you getting hurt because of me.”

Marinette was struck by the apparent anguish in her partner’s eyes as he looked at her. She instinctively reached for his hand.

“And I don’t want you to have to worry about me. I… I got my hands on footage of that battle, and I saw how distracted you were. You already have so much on your mind… I wouldn’t want to be a burden and put your safety in peril.”

“You could never be a burden, princess.” He absentmindedly ran his thumb across the back of her hand, but smiled sadly. “But I suppose you’ve reached the same conclusion I did.”

“Taking this relationship further would be a mistake.” She nodded gently.

“I’m sorry, Marinette.”

“Whatever for?” She took a deep breath and smiled bravely. “It’s not your fault. Just… Bad timing, I guess. If a hero-civilian relationship was ever supposed to work.”

“You're probably right.”

Marinette sighed and looked at her watch. “Anyway, you should probably go, Ladybug will wonder what happened to you.”

They both stood up, and walked slowly towards the bakery door. Marinette opened the door for him, but he paused and turned around before he’d crossed the threshold.

“For the record, I really enjoyed being your boyfriend while it lasted.” He felt his heart rate pick up as the words tumbled out of his mouth.

“It was really nice.” She smiled gently. Then, feeling a burst of braveness, she took a couple of steps forwards to stand face to face with him.

She stood on her tiptoes before she could process exactly what she was doing and lose her nerve, tenderly kissed his cheek, and took a step back with a soft, if slightly sad, smile. Chat gasped slightly, his hand flying to his cheek. The point of impact of his… friend ’s lips felt like the epicentre of a wave of warmth, just like it had the last time she’d pulled something of the sort.

“Maybe we can make it work one day.” She looked down and blushed, rocking on the ball of her feet.

“Maybe one day,” he echoed.

He gave her one last, longing look before taking off into the night, afraid he might throw all caution to the wind if he stayed any longer.

#marichatmay2021 #marichat may #marichat #miraculous ladybug #the miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #mlb #ml #miraculous fanfiction #miraculous fanfic #marinette dupain-cheng #chat noir #day 20: safety #elle writes #love you (not)

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greenflower21 · 4 years ago

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“I Sleep and Dream of Snow” (orginally on my Ao3 profile) * Contains Spoilers for season 3 of “Attack on Titan”

The winter will be rough this year , thought Levi as he gazed out the foggy window onto the gray surroundings. The first snow was yet to come, but he doubted it would be far off. Wind was already screaming down from the mountains, sweeping across the sheltered valley where the small cabin nestled under the barren trees like skeletons in the mountain’s shadow. This was the same cabin where he had hidden with his new squad, a few months previously, before Queen Historia had claimed her throne, before they had regained honor for the scouts, and before retaking Shiganshina.

So much had happened, it was hard to believe only a few months encompassed the biggest changes to their world within the walls. A new Queen, a new squad, and now a new commander as well…

Levi’s eye twitched slightly as he thought of Erwin’s lifeless body, still in Shiganshina, blue eyes once so full of dreams, an icy fury that looked ever onwards, now just a memory. He shivered there before the window, the threat of winter already creeping into his bones.

“We can’t always carry our fallen comrades home, but we can carry their memories.”

The words he had spoken to a grieving soldier had echoed too many times in his head this past year. He was used to loss, but the words now sounded almost mocking, his memories laughing atop the mountain of bodies, lifeless eyes whose gleams were already fading from his mind. The cold ache had settled even deeper now, refusing to recede, winter’s cruel whisper brushing against the boundaries of his body and mind. He shivered again, whether from the cold or from the lingering echoes in his head, he couldn’t tell. The echo was turning into a headache now, dull pain behind his eyes making his limbs feel leaden and heavy, not helped by the bulky ODM gear that weighed him down under his cloak.

A shout from outside jolted him from his thoughts. He stepped away from the window calling out as he went, “Commander Hange is here! Get ready!”

A few shouts of “Yes sir!” echoed clumsily from upstairs.

Levi walked outside, his shoulders tensing uncomfortably when he was met with a chill wind. “Jean!” he called to the tall boy in the lookout tower, sandy-brown hair tousled by the wind. “Is it Commander Hange?”

“Yes Captain,” replied Jean. “They appear to be alone.”

Good, thought Levi. Good that no more than necessary see this. Too many soldiers and government officials resented Levi’s decision to save Armin instead of Erwin. Why was a timid boy’s life more valuable than their esteemed and experienced commander? And why had that pivotal decision been entrusted to an underground lowlife like Levi?

At first they had thought to keep the specifics of Shiganshina a secret from the populace, but that was impossible. That idiot Floch didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut. Levi was glad at least that he had stayed behind to recruit more MP’s into the scout’s ranks instead of coming here with the rest of Shiganshina’s heroes. Isolating as it was out here, he was glad not to hear the endless complaining, making his guilt over Erwin’s death all the more painful.

Not that it isn’t painful already, he admitted as Armin’s small figure came slowly outside, followed by Eren, Mikasa, Connie and Sasha. Armin’s blue eyes were watery in the chill wind, blue and full of hope, just as Erwin’s had been long ago.

“Hey Connie! It’s your watch now!” said Jean, hopping down from the tower, wrapping his cloak tighter around himself.

“Ugh, fine,” said Connie, walking over towards the wooden tower.

“No,” said Eren, “I’ll take watch, you can go with the others Connie.”

“Um...okay…” said Connie, confused.

Levi furrowed his brow as he watched Eren climb up into the watchtower. Why does he want to be on lookout duty so badly? Probably just sulking. Eren had been in a bad mood ever since the memorial ceremony. He was sullen and withdrawn around the others, even with Armin and Mikasa. Levi shuddered. It's probably nothing. Not everything is a threat, he’s a teenager, they’re like that most of the time.

“How far is Hange?” asked Levi as Jean sauntered up beside him.

“A couple miles,” he replied. “They should be here soon.” Jean lowered his voice to a whisper, glancing back at Eren, “what’s up with him?”

Levi frowned, still uneasy but apathetic. The last thing he needed was to fuel Jean and Eren’s rivalry. They were good friends but sometimes even the faintest animosity could become irritating to be around. I’m too tired to deal with their childish antics today.

Sure enough, Hange’s steed galloped down the narrow path and jolted to a halt.

“Levi!” they exclaimed excitedly. “It’s good to see you looking cheerful as always.” Their hair was messy from the wind, and they hastily brushed it away from their face where it had tangled in their glasses and knotted under their eyepatch..

Levi grunted in reply. “I see you came alone.”

Hange nodded. “Now, are we ready to start?”

They glanced over at Armin, whose blue eyes were wide and unblinking. He looked incredibly nervous. Levi couldn’t help but notice how he tried to hide his shaking hands under his cloak.

Eren on the other hand, was expressionless beside him, green eyes downcast. Mikasa eyed him worriedly, but he paid her no notice as he walked over to the watchtower.

“Let’s go then,” said Levi, leading them down toward the cliff face where they had tried this same experiment on Eren earlier that year.

Levi pulled his cloak tighter around his shoulders, shivering still. Dark clouds were gathering at the top of the mountain. Levi narrowed his eyes concernedly, “Hange, I don’t like the look of those clouds.”

“Hmmm,” they said, narrowing their eyes. “We’ll have to hurry then.”

“Are you sure we shouldn’t just wait?” Levi replied.

“If it snows we won’t be able to do this again for awhile, and I can’t be away for too long. Besides...” they added, their voice rising to the pitch that Levi recognized as a signal that a theory was forming in their mind.

“What?” he asked, not sure if he was going to regret it.

“I’m interested to see how cold weather will affect the transformation, and if it rains or snows or whatever it does, it might have an impact on the titan steam….” they trailed off, clearly mulling over possibilities in their mind.

Levi sighed and glanced back at the squad. Sasha, Connie and Jean were chatting distractedly in the rear, Mikasa walking solemnly in front of them, glancing occasionally through her shadowy curtain of hair, backward towards where Eren sulked in the watchtower. Armin looked even more terrified than he had before. His eyes darted back and forth cautiously, like blue rippled under a sudden wind.

Levi slowed a bit to allow the boy a chance to catch up with him.

“Sir,” he squeaked, startled to see Levi beside him, looking away quickly. He knew that Armin also carried the guilt of Erwin’s sacrifice. The fault was far from his though, but Levi could understand how apprehensive he probably was. He had a large legacy to carry on his shoulders, and nearly the whole army blaming him for it.

“Don’t worry Armin,” said Levi earnestly. “Hange knows what they’re doing, you’ll be fine.”

“Th-thank you sir,” stuttered Armin, “i-it’s not Hange I’m worried about sir, it’s…”

“You have a lot of expectations to live up to,” finished Levi.

Armin hung his head. “Y-yes sir.”

Levi sighed again. “At the end of the day, it was my decision to make. You’re young, you have a good head on your shoulders, give it a chance to dream. That was what Erwin did best…” Levi stopped, for he could see the cliff face looming up ahead.

“Here we are!” said Hange, running ahead to look down.

Armin gulped. Levi gave him a reassuring nod, and they followed Hange to the cliff edge.

“Positions everyone!” said Hange. They all obeyed, leaping to their vantage points on the clifftop.

“We have to hurry,” pointed out Levi, glancing up at the clouds uneasily.

Hange nodded. “Yes. Ok Armin, we’re ready when you are!”

Armin nodded, pale and shaky. He closed his eyes, and took a run towards the cliff edge. He jumped off the side, ODM gear on.

Levi braced himself. Did it work? He wondered as a few silent moments passed. But he quickly retracted that thought, because a loud bang resounded upwards with a steam blast.

“Hange!” He shouted. “Can you see anything?”

“No!” they replied, eyeing the steam dangerously, the thrill in their eyes unmistakeable.

“I can’t hear him!” shouted Jean.

“It’s only steam, no titan,” added Sasha.

“Armin!” shouted Connie, “Can you hear us?”

Levi could see Mikasa perched on the edge, looking as uneasy as Levi felt. She was doubtless wondering why Eren didn’t want to see his best friend transform into the colossal titan for the first time, but equally worried about Armin below.

A loud boom sounded behind them. Levi smelled rain as a cold blast of wind slammed into him, almost sending him off balance.

“Hange…!” he shouted, a tone of warning creeping into his voice.

“I hear it,” Hange replied. “Armin!” they screamed. “Armin where are you?”

There was no reply, only more thunder as the steam rose from the ground.

Levi felt a few drops of cold rain hit his face. Not quite cold enough for snow yet but it still stung like blades of ice.

“Armin!” cried Mikasa, craning her neck to see through the layers of steam. The rain was getting heavier, sizzling as it struck the ground below.

“There!” shouted Sasha. Levi looked where she pointed, seeing a patch of red where the rain was clearing the steam. He narrowed his eyes and squinted to see better.

“It’s too hot to cut him out,” said Hange, “We need to let the rain cool it down first.”

Damn this would have been a great moment for Eren to stop acting like a moody brat and come help us out.

Levi frowned. “Was this your plan all along?” he didn’t even try to hide the annoyance in his voice.

“...Not exactly, but it is working in our favor now,” they replied, watching the steam clear below, revealing more of a pitifully misshapen red titan, miniscule in size in comparison to the colossal titan that had broken down Wall Maria.

“Armin,” croaked Mikasa nervously, about to leap down. Levi placed an arm in front of her. “No. It’s not safe yet.”

She hung her head, resigning herself to the truth in his words.

“Look! Commander, Captain!” Connie shouted.

“It’s Armin! He’s emerging!” added Sasha.

“Right, I’m going to retrieve him,” said Levi. It was dangerously hot down there, only he had the necessary speed to grab the boy quickly and get him out.

“I’m coming too!” insisted Mikasa.

“Fine,” grumbled Levi. She can manage, and it might be helpful to have an extra set of hands if we have to cut him out.

“Be careful!” said Hange, absentminded, meaning that their thoughts were clicking mechanically in their brain.

Levi and Mikasa leaped down, weaving between bilows of steam carefully. He could see Armin’s yellow hair glinting dully in the red mist of steam and drizzle.

They landed on the body, where the rain had cooled the surface enough so that he could cut Armin out. Armin’s eyes stared blankly upwards, red marks beneath them, tears welling in those pools of blue.

“Help me cut him out, quickly!” said Levi.

Mikasa sawed at the sinews with her blades while Levi lifted Armin out from the steaming carcass. His cloak had completely burned off, leaving only his thin shirt, burned and tattered in several places. The ODM gear was still trapped inside the titan.

“It’ll be damaged beyond repair; leave it behind” said Levi, sensing Mikasa’s thoughts.

“Right,” she nodded and focused on cutting Armin’s legs free.

The rain was coming down hard now, icy cold and stinging as it danced violently in the wind.

Mikasa finished cutting the sinews, and they leaped upward against the cliff-face with their gear, Levi carrying Armin’s limp form under one arm. They made it to the top, where the others were waiting anxiously.

“Wh-what happened?” asked Sasha concernedly looking at Armin.

“We can theorise later, let’s focus on getting out of this rain!” said Levi, removing his own cloak to wrap around Armin.

Damn this rain is cold.

“Hange come on!” They were still staring over the cliff edge thoughtfully.

“What?” They said. “Oh, right, let’s go!”

They all walked quickly back to the house, Armin being carried by Levi as the rain grew icier around them.

Levi was thankful in that moment for the titan heat radiating from Armin’s body. His face and hands were numb from the cold, and his clothes were becoming soaked through.

They made it back to the house.

“Eren!” shouted Hange, “Get inside! You won’t be able to see in this weather anyway.”

Eren leaped down from the watchtower, still brooding. Seriously, what’s up with him?

They all stumbled inside, dripping wet, slamming the door behind them.

Sasha let out a long sigh, “I’m soooooo hungry!”

“Ugh I’m too cold to be hungry,” complained Jean.

Eren ignored them and went straight over to the hearth to start building a fire. He half glanced at Armin, a pained expression in his eyes, avoiding Mikasa’s stare that followed him like a shadow as he placed logs in the fire.

Levi placed Armin down into a seated position in one of the chairs by the fire, removing his cloak and hanging it by the door. Armin’s tattered clothing had luckily remained relatively dry under the protective wool.

As everyone else hung their cloaks, Levi noticed that they, too, had avoided most of the icy rain.

Hange shook their head, scattering a few droplets and walked straight over to Armin.

I need to get out of these wet clothes, thought Levi. He shivered, his shirt stuck tight against his body, hair dripping icy water into his eyes.

“Captain you’re soaked!” exclaimed Sasha as she carried the kettle to the stove.

“Hmph, I hadn’t noticed,” he grumbled dryly.

“Someone needs to get some dry clothes for Armin,” said Hange.

“On it!” said Connie, sprinting away.

Levi stood, almost dazed, looking at how Eren was building up the fire. Something was definitely off with him, and he worried that it was something more than just teenage angst.

“Uh, Captain, are you ok?” asked Jean’s voice behind him.

“Hmmm…?” Levi blinked. “Yeah I’m fine…” his words were slow; numb along with everything else.

“You really should take those wet clothes off captain,” said Mikasa, arriving beside him carrying some blankets from upstairs.

“Hmmm, yeah…” he shook his head hazily and walked slowly towards his room.

His hands were stiff as he undid the buttons and endless belt loops that attached the ODM gear to his body. When that weight left him, he swayed slightly, dizzy with the release. He finally managed to remove the rest of his soaking wet clothes, which had stuck to his skin like ice, wondering if he would ever feel warm again.

He came back to the main room, wearing dry clothes, but still shivering. Sasha, Connie and Jean were laying out teacups and bread and butter on the table. Eren still stared moodily into the fire, ignoring the rest of them, while Mikasa sat next to Armin, wrapping him in a blanket and Hange scribbled in their notebook.

Mikasa stood and walked over to Levi. She handed him a blanket and he took it from her gratefully, hands numb and shaking. Not caring about anything else in that moment except warmth, he sat down in the chair between Armin and Hange, close to the fire.

Armin didn’t appear hurt, but there was a look of utter dejection on his face.

“It’s ok Armin, Eren had trouble his first time too! “ reassured Mikasa. “Right Eren?”

Eren turned at his name. “What? Oh yeah…” he quickly turned back around to stare at the flames.

Hange sighed quizzically, looking up from their notes. “It seems that mood clearly plays a role in one’s ability to transform. Eren always had trouble if he was feeling nervous or apprehensive, or unsure about something.” Hange directed their statements at Eren, but he didn’t look back in their direction.

“You’d better figure it out soon kid so we can get the hell out of this freezing cold bunker,” said Levi shakily, then he sneezed, quiet enough so that only Hange heard it. They narrowed their eyes at Levi skeptically but didn’t say anything.

“You have to be sure of yourself Armin. You have to envision the future you dream of, and you have to take hold of it with all your strength. If you hesitate, it’s all for nothing.” Eren’s voice sounded far away, even though he only stood a few feet away from Levi. It was the most he had heard the boy say for weeks.

“Well, yes…” said Hange, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “In less solemn terms than Eren just put it, you need to have a clear goal, and you need confidence!”

I know what’s wrong, thought Levi. It’s Erwin’s shadow. It’s still too tall for him to reach. That same tall, blue-eyed shadow echoed in Levi’s mind too. He knew what it felt like to be tasked with making someone’s life meaningful after they were gone.

Armin only sighed and shook his head. “I know, you’re trying to help and I appreciate it, I really do, but… I can’t help but wonder every day if you made the wrong decision Captain.”

Armin’s sad blue stare rose to meet Levi’s cold gray eyes. For a second, he thought he could see Erwin’s icy gaze, filled with stone cold-determination, but then the shadow faded to leave behind ripples in the terrified boy’s face.

“I didn’t make the wrong decision,” said Levi, trying to make his voice sound certain. “This is what Erwin would have wanted.” As he said this, he could almost see Erwin’s shadow again, nodding to his words behind Armin’s face.

Levi shivered and sneezed again, wrapping the blanket tighter around himself, feeling suddenly very tired. The feeling had started to sneak back into his limbs again, but now they were heavy with a dull ache that was settling deep into his whole body.

“Tea’s ready!” said Sasha.

Levi sighed and stood shakily to walk back over to the table, leaving the blanket behind. He poured himself a cup and sat down, still shivering. He held the cup in his hands, letting the warmth spread upward through his fingertips.

He was almost aware of the others clattering about chatting and eating all around him, but they were like shadows in the corner of his vision. I’m still so cold. Why can’t I get warm?

Hands shaking, Levi lifted the cup to his mouth, letting the hot liquid warm his insides. Someone pushed a plate towards him. He glanced over to see that it was Hange.

“You should eat,” they said, buttering a piece of bread for themself and sitting down beside him.

Levi ignored the bread and focused instead on drinking the tea in slow sips, willing it to make him stop shivering so visibly.

“The rain is turning into sleet,” observed Sasha, looking toward the window.

Levi looked and saw sheets of white slamming against the glass.

“Looks like you’ll need to stay the night here commander,” said Connie.

“Yes I suppose you’re right,” replied Hange. “I really did underestimate this weather didn’t I?”

Within the hour, the sleet had turned into snow, and it rattled relentlessly against the window panes.

Leaving his bread untouched, Levi washed his teacup and then wandered back over to the fire. Armin had fallen asleep, the red titan marks on his face already starting to fade.

“We should put him in bed,” said Levi, bending down to pick him up. His arms felt unusually weak though, which was strange. Why do my bones feel like they’re filled with ice. I hate rain...I’m too stiff to lift even this scrawny teenager!

“I can do it,” said Eren’s voice behind him.

“Go ahead,” said Levi, glancing at him sideways. Eren lifted one of Armin’s arms over his shoulder, and Mikasa rushed over to help. Together they carried their friend up to bed.

Levi sighed and edged closer to the fire. I hope I’m not this stiff tomorrow, there’s so much to do around here…

“You alright?” Asked Hange, kneeling down next to him. “You seem tired.”

He shivered again, picking up his discarded blanket from earlier. He avoided their question and said, “where will you sleep? With the rate of that snow outside, it looks like you might be stuck here for a few days at least.”

“Don’t worry about me! I always figure it out,” they replied. “Besides, I want to stay up a bit later to study my notes anyway.”

Levi nodded in reply and glanced over to the table where Jean, Connie and Sasha were still chatting. “Hey, make sure you clean up that mess when you’re done,” he remarked. Normally he would stay and do it himself, but Hange might have been right. He was tired. Even where he stood, he struggled to keep his eyes open. He would have to trust them to clean it properly, just this once…

“Captain can I have your bread?” Asked Sasha.

“Hmmm…? Yeah, fine…” he muttered, walking blearily towards his room. He sank onto his bed with a strange heaviness, shivering under the blankets, and let sleep take him.

When he was gone, Sasha exclaimed in a shocked whisper, “what? He never says yes! This is my lucky day!”

“Sasha you’re getting crumbs everywhere. We need to keep it clean or the Captain will freak out!” protested Jean.

Connie chimed in with, “Hey! Won’t you share?”

When the two had divided the bread between them, Jean remarked, “don’t you think it's weird though, Captain Levi never goes to bed early?”

Sasha was too immersed in her bread to hear him.

Connie shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s been a pretty long day, I wouldn’t worry too much.”

Jean frowned, looking out the window where the show was swirling out in the dark. “I hope you’re right.”

***

Levi woke groggily. His throat burned and there was a heavy weight in his chest that made every part of his body ache. He groaned and got out of bed, shocked when he had to sit down again because a wave of dizziness almost sent him reeling.

He sighed, and that sigh turned into a dry cough that made his head throb.

Damn it, he cursed to himself. He made the decision to ignore his body screaming in protest, and put a clean shirt on with aggressive determination, preparing to go downstairs. This is nothing, I’m just chilled from yesterday, I just need to wake up a bit. He coughed again as he went carefully down the stairs.

Hange had woken up sitting stiffly in the chair by the fire, notes open across their lap. The coals had died down to ash. Someone had thrown a blanket across them at some point, they weren’t sure who. They yawned, stretched, and stood, looking out the window.

Well, looks like I won’t be making it back to HQ anytime soon. Snow was piled almost up to the window panes, the inside of the glass covered with frost. They shuddered and put a log on the dead fire, attempting to blow some life into it.

The kitchen had been tidied from the night before, but it was nowhere near spotless. A few crumbs still littered the floor where Connie and Sasha had battled over the captain’s bread.

He won’t be happy.

While they waited for the fire to grow, they pondered their notes again. Something was definitely holding Armin back...they had a feeling it was the pressure. The poor boy had Erwin’s whole legacy to uphold. Damn it Levi, I can’t believe you put him in this position.

Hange heard light footfalls on the steps accompanied by ragged breathing that stopped suddenly and was replaced by a rough, hollow sounding cough.

That doesn’t sound good…

“Where is everyone?” asked Levi hoarsely as he slowly walked into the room. “Lazy kids, just because it’s snowing doesn’t mean they get a break.” He looked out the window, noticing the empty watchtower blurred by the blinding light of the heavy snow on the ground. “We should get someone on lookout duty-” he ended the thought abruptly as he shook with coughing again.

Ignoring Hange’s eyebrows rising in concern, he went outside to fill the kettle with snow, shocked when he opened the door to see that it came all the way up to his shoulders. He cursed under his breath and shivered, filling it quickly and slamming the door shut. He put the kettle on the stove, his chest burning, unable to stifle the shaky cough that shuddered through his body again.

“Levi, I don’t like the sound of that cough,” said Hange, not hiding the concern in their voice.

“It's nothing,” he retorted. His eyes stopped, noticing a few crumbs on the floor where the scouts had been sitting the night before. Damn it, I thought I told them to clean up… He sighed in annoyance, but it came out as a cough, more painful than the last one.

“Levi….” began Hange. “Don’t worry about the crumbs, and don’t worry about the lookout! The snow will be too thick to see anyway. Besides, no one will be out stalking us in this weather.” They took a moment to look at his face, which was shadowed by the usual dark circles, but they were deeper today, and he was pale, his dark gray eyes glassy and distant.

He ignored them and went over to get the broom in the corner. He swept the crumbs away and started to make tea.

Hange shook their head. He was too stubborn. When the kettle boiled, they sat down together to let it brew.

“Are they seriously all still asleep?” Levi asked, shocked at how raspy his voice sounded. He was grateful for the warmth of the cup in his hands. He let the steam float up to his face and briefly relieve the throbbing in his head.

Hange shrugged, “Not everyone is an insomniac like you.”

He glared at them and shook his head. “Any epiphanies in your late night research?”

They took a deep breath. “Armin won’t be able to control his titan ability until he can escape the pressure of Erwin’s sacrifice.”

Levi nodded, “well he’d better figure it out soon-” he broke off, coughing again.

Hange opened their mouth to say something, but at that moment Mikasa came downstairs, followed by the others.

“Armin is still asleep,” she said as she sat down beside Hange.

“How is he?” Hange asked.

“He seems fine,” Mikasa continued, “the titan marks have faded at least.”

“Good, good…” Hange nodded, pouring themself another cup of tea.

Levi shot Sasha, Connie and Jean a subtle glare as they sat down at the table. “I thought I told you to clean up after-” but he broke off again, another rattling cough shaking his chest.

“I’m so sorry captain!” said Sasha, eyes wide.

“Wait, uh Captain Levi are you ok?” Asked Connie tentatively.

He was barely aware of their responses, and he didn’t catch the worried glances that shot between everyone seated at the table. He ignored them and sipped his tea in frustration, willing his hands to stop shaking, hoping that the warm liquid would subside the deep chill that was making his whole body ache.

He started feeling progressively worse throughout the day. He tried to keep himself busy, ignoring the pain in his head by sweeping the rest of the floor, assigning odd tasks to the scouts, and pointedly ignoring the way they were all looking at him.

Jean, Eren and Mikasa managed to clear a way to the stable to check on the horses. Hange decided that they didn’t need to bother with clearing a way to the watchtower. No one would be able to find them in this snow anyway. Levi narrowed his eyes uneasily, but Hange out-ranked him, so their word was what the scouts followed. He knew they were probably right. It was too cold out to keep watch safely, and there was no point staring at gray fields of snow for hours with no real threat.

He glanced out the window, half expecting more snow to start falling from the gray skies. He still remembered the first time he had seen snow. Mesmerized and terrified at those sparkling white drops that froze on impact, and looked like stars turned to dust. Farlan and Isabel never got to see snow. It almost seemed like the gray sky itself was scattering cold ash for all those who had never gotten to gaze at its beauty.

While the others cleared the snow in front of the door, Sasha and Connie chopped vegetables for soup, and Armin slept for most of the day. Hange tried to be useful around the house, hoping that everyone at HQ wasn’t too worried about them. There was no helping it though. It was hard enough to clear a path to the horses, forget trying to clear it all the way to the road. Hange was starting to get worried though, worried about Levi.

His cough started sounding worse as the day went on. At one point, Hange caught him staring out the window, shivering and gazing at something in a distant corner of his mind that only he could see.

“Levi,” they said gently, “come away from there, it's too cold!”

He didn’t respond, so they placed a hand on his shoulder. He flinched slightly, but didn’t protest when they guided him over to sit by the fire.

It should have warmed him, but he still shivered weakly, spots dancing before his eyes, almost like it was snowing inside the fire.

He was aware of Hange looking into his eyes, “Levi…” they said quietly, placing a hand on his forehead.

He started to brush them away, “what are you doing?”

“You’re burning up!” exclaimed Hange.

He sighed again, he hated other people fussing over him, but regretted it instantly because it sent him into another painful coughing fit.

“Levi, I’m worried about you,” said Hange, “you’re not well!”

Levi knew they were probably right, he wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball in front of the fire and stay there forever, but he couldn’t possibly go rest; there was still too much to do, too much to think about, Erwin’s shadow was watching him, he needed to do it justice…

Erwin’s shadow walked down the stairs, but it was much smaller than Erwin. “Er, hello Commander, Captain,” he said.

Hange stood, “ah, our colossal awakens!”

Levi was puzzled. Erwin was tall, yes, but he was no titan, what was Hange talking about.

Hange noticed that Armin looked bleary-eyed from sleep, but otherwise fine. They were worried about Levi though. He looked at Armin with a pained, almost confused expression. He’s delirious…

“I’m so sorry,” said the small boy standing there with Erwin’s eyes. Yes, not Erwin, Erwin is dead Levi, get it together.

Levi opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t because his whole body was racked by shaking as he coughed again.

“Captain! Are you alright?” gasped Armin.

“He’s not,” said Hange. “Levi, I need you to go back to bed, and yes, that’s an order!”

Levi regarded them with dark gray eyes, misted over with a feverish glow. Too weak to protest, he stood up shakily and began to walk toward the stairs. Why is Hange giving me orders, he thought, confused, Where’s Erwin? He stumbled and swayed where he stood. The whole room spun, and lights danced in his eyes, turning into shadows as he fell.

Armin and Hange reacted quickly. They caught him as he collapsed so he didn’t hit the floor.

“What happened to him?” Asked Armin, his voice high pitched with concern.

“What’s going on?” asked Sasha, peeking in from the kitchen, Connie close behind. They must have heard the commotion and come to investigate.

“I need you to bring me some cold water and a clean cloth,” said Hange.

Sasha’s eyes widened as she saw the unconscious Levi in between Armin and Hange’s arms. “Yes sir!” she disappeared into the kitchen to do what Hange asked.

“Connie, can you help me bring him upstairs?” said Hange.

“Yes sir,” said Connie, running over to take the captain’s limp form from Armin, who sighed with relief. He still hadn’t quite gotten his strength back from yesterday. “Armin, can you go check on our soup?” Armin nodded and wandered into the kitchen, glancing over his shoulder as he watched Connie and Hange carry Levi’s unconscious body between them up the stairs.

They placed him down on his bed. His eyelids fluttered slightly but he didn’t wake up. He was shivering weakly, but a thin gray sweat was coating the surface of his skin, sticking his dark hair to his head.

Sasha came back with cold water and a few dry kitchen towels. Hange took one from her and dipped in the basin, placing the cool cloth on Levi’s pale forehead.

Sasha and Connie lingered uncomfortably in the doorway, watching as Hange unbuttoned Levi’s shirt, which was plastered to his body with sweat.

“Is he going to be ok?” Asked Connie in a whisper.

No one answered him.

“Do you need anything else?” asked Sasha, breaking the tense silence except for Levi’s ragged breathing.

“No,” replied Hange, “just let the others know where I am, and keep that fire burning.”

They nodded and went back to the kitchen, leaving Hange alone sitting on the edge of the bed, looking more worried than the scouts had ever seen them.

They found Armin standing dazed before the pot on the stove, stirring mechanically, unfocused and clearly worried.

“This is my fault,” he whimpered. He looked up at Sasha and Connie, alarm in his eyes. “He gave me his cloak yesterday, and he must have gotten too cold, and now…” he looked like he might cry.

“No, Armin, it’s not your fault!” said Connie reassuringly. “He would have done the same for any of us, you had no idea that your cloak would burn off, or that the rain would be that cold!”

“But the experiment failed…. I failed! I’ll never live up to Erwin’s expectations.” Armin sank down in a chair at the table, utterly defeated.

“You need to stop blaming yourself Armin,” said Sasha, taking over at the stove-top, pouring a handful of herbs into the broth. “The decision was never yours, and you’re trying your best!”

“You just need to get used to it,” added Connie. “You’re only human so don’t beat yourself up!”

Armin sighed, looking toward the stairs with an expression of anguish. I really hope they’re right.

“I’ve had enough snow to last a lifetime,” complained Jean, entering the door, and hanging up his cloak, followed by Mikasa and Eren.

“At least we’ve cleared a path to the stable now,” said Mikasa.

“It only took us three hours,” grumbled Eren.

Jean sighed and sat down at the table. “What’s with you guys? You look like someone just died.”

Armin looked at the floor and Sasha stirred the pot on the stove awkwardly.

“Well…” said Connie, “It’s Captain Levi, he’s really unwell.”

Mikasa’s eyes widened in alarm. “Is he alright?”

“I thought he didn’t look too good this morning…” added Jean.

“What happened?” asked Eren.

“I guess…” said Armin, “the cold yesterday must have gotten to him, he just collapsed right in front of us!”

Seeing Armin’s worried expression, Mikasa said, “He’s humanity’s strongest. He just needs to rest for a few days, he’ll be fine.”

Her tone didn’t sound convincing enough though, and the room fell into a tense silence, the only sound Sasha’s wooden spoon scraping the bottom of the pot.

***

A few minutes after Sasha and Connie left, Levi’s eyes fluttered open weakly and he stared up at Hange, looking very confused. He tried to sit up, but he was seized by another painful coughing fit and was forced to sink back down onto the pillows, shaking.

“Shhh,” said Hange, pushing him down and drawing the blanket up to cover him.

“Hange what happened?” he asked weakly, his voice hoarse and strained.

“You fainted,” they replied, readjusting the cloth on his forehead. “Connie helped me carry you in here.”

He coughed again.“Damn it, how did this happen, I can’t-” but he couldn’t finish, his chest shaking with echoing tremors. He moaned softly and closed his eyes.

“Just rest,” said Hange. “You don’t have to worry about anything.” His eyelids flickered and closed as he settled into an uneasy sleep, wheezing gently and still shaking.

They watched his chest rise and fall for a few minutes, then replaced the cloth on his forehead, already lukewarm with the heat from his fever. When they were sure he was really sleeping, they quietly closed the door and went back downstairs.

***

Levi slept fitfully the rest of that day, and all the while, the snow still fell outside. Hange went back to check on him a few hours later, but he was still deep in a feverish dream, shivering beneath the blankets, chest rising raggedly and hair plastered to his head in lank strands.

Hange felt his forehead again. The fever was still high, possibly even higher than before. This worried them; they had never seen him this sick in all the years they had known him. They were trained as a field medic, first aid and emergency battle operations etc., but they were certainly no doctor. If this didn’t get any better soon….well, they just had to hope it would. Travelling would be impossible for at least the next few days.

For now, they kept the fever controlled by replacing the cloth on his forehead intermittently.

A soft knock on the door sounded and Mikasa entered the room, carrying a steaming cup of tea. “How is he?” she asked, setting it down on the table.

Hange’s brow furrowed. “Fever is still high and he’s struggling to breathe.” they watched the erratic rise and fall of his chest uneasily.

“Maybe steam will help,” said Mikasa, bringing the teacup close to Levi’s face.

“Good idea!” Hange observed, lifting his head slightly so he could inhale it.

He spluttered and coughed, then gasped weakly, but it did seem to give him some temporary relief.

“We need more steam,” said Hange.

“On it!” said Mikasa, turning to leave.

A few minutes later, she returned with the kettle and an empty washbasin.

They lifted Levi’s head again and held the steaming water up to his face. He gasped, then breathed in and out, coughing. He leaned back on the pillows, still shaking, but he breathed more easily, at least for a little while.

***

Levi dreamed of blue eyes following him. “Erwin, what do you still need from me?” But the blue receded into gray, drowning in snow.

“Wait!” cried Levi, “Where are you going?” but the blue eyes disappeared, and he heard nothing but his own voice, reverberating back at him.

He wandered in a directionless fog, steps heavy, his body aching with weariness as he trudged onward.

A roar resounded behind him and he flinched as something flew through the air. It landed at his feet in the mist and he almost screamed. Lifeless eyes underneath tousled red hair stared back at him. Isabel….

A familiar laugh echoed nearby. Farlan? He turned around, but the laugh faded and turned into a scream before disappearing into the fog completely.

He sank to his knees, utterly defeated. He could hear voices calling out his name, and they all flashed before his eyes.

He saw Gunther dangling from his mangled gear, half of Eld’s body strewn across the forest floor, Oluo’s head sawn off, and Petra... Oh Petra.

She called to him, but he couldn’t stand. His legs wouldn’t lift from the damp ground, and the mist suffocated him, drowning their voices until they disappeared. He was sinking into the ground, and then he fell, plummeting downward through tunnels of darkness until he landed with a thud in a dirty puddle, no stars here; it reeked of the underground.

A tall man with a face shielded by a black hat turned to look at Levi, lying in the muck, but he shook his head and walked away, until Levi could see him no more.

The puddle enveloped him like a blanket, and there was a woman in a white dress standing over him. Her black hair flowed down her back like rainfall on a window on a moonless night, and her cold gray eyes looked down on him lovingly. She brushed lank hair out of his face with pale fingers.

“Mother?” he croaked.

“Shhhh Levi, you’re safe now.” her voice was soothing, and he believed her, he let his eyes close, and darkness settled over him.

He wanted to stay there forever, but voices started to plague him again.

“Let me rest, please,” he begged.

“Levi. You must not regret your decision,” and there were blue eyes looking at him from the shadows again.

“Erwin…” he whispered.

“Do not regret. Fulfil your promise.”

“I’m so tired Erwin…” Levi protested. He wished that the blue eyes would close and leave him be. The woman in the white dress was still there, but she too, was fading, her hands translucent and eyes empty.

“No, don’t go!” he begged.

She grasped his hand one more time, and then disappeared into the shadows.

“Remember your promise,” said Erwin, but it wasn’t Erwin’s voice. Armin Arlert looked at him with sincerity in the mist, “Please stay with us Captain!”

“Please…” but he wasn’t sure whose voice it was pleading with him now.

“I promised…. I remember….” whispered Levi, and then he sank into shadows, many voices still echoing in their tendrils of mist around him, utterly incomprehensible.

***

The snow stopped falling after two days, but it showed no sign of melting. The scouts were trapped here until they could find a way to clear a path to the road, which was still several miles to the west of their isolated location.

Hange was getting increasingly more worried about Levi. He had been drifting in and out of consciousness, and the fever, like the snow, showed no signs of abating. Mikasa had been clever with the steam; when his breathing became too laboured, they brought a basin of boiling water to his face, and it seemed to instill a temporary respite to his pained struggle.

But he also wasn’t getting any better. Hange worried that he would need stronger medicine than whatever meager supplies they had here at the cabin; honey and hot water could only do so much. But in this snow, it would be impossible to go in search of anything.

Hange cooled Levi’s burning forehead with the wet cloth, listening to the erratic rise and fall of his chest with concern.

“You should get some rest,” said Armin, entering the room softly behind them. “I can stay with him for awhile.”

Hange nodded, knowing he was right. They didn’t like the thought of leaving him, but they felt their eyelids drooping heavily. They stood and stretched, then went to the bed they had set up down the hall. “Wake me if there’s any change.”

When Hange left, Armin sat down by the Captain’s side. His face was pale, his cheeks hollow and his dark hair dull and plastered to his face by sweat. A few incomprehensible words danced on his parched lips.

Armin felt an overwhelming sense of guilt as he looked at his sick captain. This is my fault. If only I had been able to transform properly, he wouldn’t have needed to give me his cloak. Better still, if I had died instead of Erwin. Erwin was a colossal human, even without the titan ability. I am nothing…

“No… don’t go…” whispered Levi feverishly in his sleep.

Armin inhaled sharply. “I’m right here Captain!”

“Erwin… no… let me rest, please…” his face twisted with grief and anguish, “can I go? The promise… I can’t…”

Armin’s eyes widened in alarm. He grasped Levi’s frail, sweaty hand in his own. “Please, stay with us captain, please!” begged Armin. He wrung out the cloth and dampened it again in the cold water, placing it on Levi’s burning forehead.

“I promised… I remember…” whispered Levi, coughing weakly in his sleep.

Armin heard the door open gently behind him as someone else walked into the room. He turned around, surprised to see that it was Eren.

“How is he?” he asked, still hovering in the doorway.

“Not good,” Armin shook his head.

Eren looked down at the ground and slowly walked over to lean on the edge of the table by the bed.

“Eren,” began Armin in a quiet voice. “Why couldn’t I transform?” A faint tremor of despair had crept up into his gentle tone.

Eren shook his head uneasily. He knew Armin would ask him this question. It was part of the reason why he had been avoiding the others this whole time. The strange sensation he had felt when he touched Queen Historia’s hand- well, he couldn’t shake the heavy weight of this immense secret he carried. He couldn’t shake the guilt, for being partially responsible for Commander Erwin’s death, and the legacy that Armin now had to fulfil. All he had wanted was to see the ocean, but this? I can see how tormented he is, the amount of anguish this is causing him, and it’s all my fault.

Eren hadn’t wanted to watch the experiment. He didn’t want to watch his friend suffer like that, a suffering that he knew all too well.

When Eren didn’t answer Armin’s feeble question, he sighed in resignation and looked away. It seemed even his best friend had lost faith in him.

The two boys were so wrapped up in their own thoughts that they nearly didn’t notice how quiet Levi had become

Eren noticed first. “Wait, Armin, something’s wrong.”

Armin shot up in alarm. Levi’s chest had stopped rising and falling, and the familiar pained breaths were silent.

“Captain Levi!” shouted Armin, shaking the captain’s frail body.

“I’ll get Hange!” said Eren, running out the door.

“Please hurry!” said Armin.

Armin lifted Levi, rubbing between his shoulder-blades vigorously. His skin was still emanating dangerous amounts of heat, which in this moment was actually a good thing, because it meant his body was still trying to fight, trying to live…

“Please Captain Levi,” begged Armin as he rubbed up and down, willing the breath to come back into his lungs.

The door banged open and Hange sprinted over to the bed. “Good Armin, keep rubbing. Levi!” they cried urgently, placing two fingers on Levi’s neck, where a very weak pulse was thankfully still fluttering. His lips were starting to turn blue.

Eren came into the room, carrying a steaming kettle. He poured it into the basin and handed it to Hange, who lifted it in front of Levi’s face.

Armin could feel the heartbeat weakening under his fingers, almost to nothing. A few tense moments followed, and then they all nearly jumped up in alarm as Levi gasped and coughed. He struggled for breath as his whole frame shook, but Armin lowered his shoulders with relief. That was close, too close.

Hange shook their head solemnly, reapplying the cold cloth to Levi’s forehead. “He’s not getting any better and there’s not much I can do for him without some stronger medicine.”

“But we’re trapped here…” said Eren.

Hange furrowed their brow quizzically. “Your father was a doctor wasn’t he Eren? Do you have any idea what he would have used to treat something like this?”

Eren thought for a moment and shook his head. “My father didn’t tell me much about what he did-he made all his medicines down in the cellar, where I wasn’t allowed. I think he planned to teach me one day, but he never got a chance…”

Think! Armin, Think, he begged himself. You can’t let the captain die. If he dies it's your fault. There has to be a way we can clear that snow and find him some medicine…?

He stood up suddenly, an idea forming in his mind.

“What is it?” Asked Eren.

“That’s the face of someone who’s just come up with a hypothesis,” remarked Hange observantly.

“We need a way to clear the snow so we can somehow get to a doctor or an apothecary…” began Armin, “and we know that titan steam can melt it, so what if I transform into a titan, clear the way enough for someone to make it to the main road, and from there ride to the nearest town where there’s bound to be someone that has what we need!”

“A brilliant idea Armin!” replied Hange excitedly, “But can you do it?”

“There’s also the risk that someone could see us, we don’t want to alarm civilians,” pointed out Eren,

Armin added, “that’s why it would be better to just get the medicine directly from them rather than bridging a doctor here- we don’t want too many people asking how on earth we cleared the snow away- you know what he needs right Hange?”

“More or less,” Hange agreed.

Armin continued, addressing Eren. “You and Mikasa will spot me as I transform, and cut me out and bring me back here while someone-probably Sasha because she knows the terrain around here the best- rides on.”

“But what if it’s too hot to get close?” wondered Eren.

“Then you can transform too, and take me down.”

Eren sighed, looking slightly uncomfortable, but then he nodded. “Okay.”

“Hmmm,” said Hange, “It’s risky, but…” they looked gravely at Levi’s shuddering form beside them, “I don’t think we have a choice.”

Eren stayed with Levi while Armin and Hange went downstairs to brief the others. The plan was this: Armin would transform and clear away the snow, and Mikasa and Eren would follow at a safe distance to retrieve Armin when he had finished.

Sasha and Connie would ride to the nearest village with a note carrying written instructions from Hange, to be shown to the closest doctor they could find. Trost would be ideal, but it was too far to ride quickly on the icy roads. Hange would have gone themself, but they didn’t dare leave Levi’s side now.

Jean sat with Levi while Hange went to the roof with Armin, Mikasa and Eren to execute the plan.

Armin didn’t feel nervous for once. He was ready to repay Captain Levi for saving his life back in Shiganshina. He would make them all proud. He would honor Erwin’s memory.

“Are you ready?” asked Hange.

Armin nodded.

“Remember to jump outwards so that the house doesn’t catch on fire,” they reminded him.

Right, don’t screw this up.

He took a deep breath, and leapt off the roof, slitting his palm with a knife. Electricity rippled through his body, and suddenly he was very tall. He looked down and could see snow down below, melting at his feet.

“Armin!” someone shouted. “Get away from the house!”

Dazed, he turned around, seeing Hange, Eren and Mikasa standing on top of the roof, edging away nervously.

What am I doing? Confusion clouded his mind. It's so hot in here…

“Armin! Go! You have to save Captain Levi!” shouted Connie from the stable. Armin looked down at Connie and Sasha, edging cautiously backwards, horses stamping impatiently. That’s right, I need to clear the way so they can go and find medicine for the Captain.

Armin shook away the fog and stepped forward, surprised at the heavy thud his feet made when they hit the ground, snow sizzling upon impact. I have to save Captain Levi. That thought propelled him forward as he plowed through the deep snow, the path clearing as he went.

“Good, it’s working!” Called Hange. “Sasha, Connie! Make sure you wait until we retrieve Armin before you ride!”

“Yes Commander!” shouted Sasha.

“Eren, Mikasa, now it’s your turn!” said Hange, turning to the two scouts beside them on the rooftop.

“On it!” Said Eren, breaking into a run and biting his hand as he jumped off the roof.

As he transformed down below, Mikasa leapt onto his shoulder with her ODM gear engaged.

Mikasa observed Armin’s colossal making its way through the trees. It was still much smaller than Berthold’s titan, smaller even than Eren as he pounded through the melted snow after him. Despite its size though, it was accomplishing what it meant to.

They followed at a safe distance for about ten minutes. Please let no one be on the road, thought Mikasa, anxiety thrumming in her chest. This was not a sight that she wanted just anyone to see.

“Eren, we’re getting close,” warned Mikasa.

Eren grunted in reply, and he sped up behind Armin.

Armin seemed to be aware of his surroundings, because Mikasa heard a loud crash up ahead as the colossal titan sank to its knees.

Mikasa sprinted off of Eren’s shoulder and zoomed ahead to scout out the road. Armin’s titan body had collapsed, steaming in the snow, and the road, still snowy but clear enough to ride stretched south toward Trost. No one else was in sight, so Mikasa breathed a sigh of relief as she assessed whether or not it was safe enough yet to retrieve Armin from the carcass.

The steam was too thick for her to see anything though. “Eren!” she shouted. “I need your help!”

Eren rumbled towards them and reached his hand into the steaming body, pulling Armin out, cradling his in the giant hand. The body immediately disintegrated, leaving more steam behind.

“Quick!” said Mikasa. “We need to get out of sight before anyone sees us!”

She leapt onto Eren’s shoulder and they sprinted back to the house, Armin lying unconscious in Eren’s arms.

When Hange saw them returning, they called down to Sasha and Connie. “Go! Hurry and come back as soon as you can!”

“Yes Commander!” They both shouted in unison, and galloped away down the path that Armin had cleared.

Mikasa leapt onto the ground, and Eren gently placed Armin down. Hange joined her and they carried him between them inside to give Eren enough space to transform back again. Mikasa was about to go back outside and help Eren in, but he stumbled in on his own, and immediately collapsed into a chair by the fire.

Armin’s eyes fluttered open where he sat in the other chair where Hange and Mikasa had set him down.

“Did I do it?” he asked feebly.

Hange knelt down in front of him. “Yes! You’re a hero Armin! Erwin would be proud.”

At this Armin could no longer control himself; he shuddered and tears fell from his eyes.

“Armin,” began Eren.

“No, I’m okay,” he stuttered. “I’m just so relieved!” He glanced at the staircase. “I just hope we’re not too late…”

Hange and Mikasa shooed Eren and Armin to bed to rest, and then Hange went to relieve Jean.

“You look like you could use some rest too,” said Mikasa, noticing the lines of exhaustion tracing Hange’s good eye.

Hange shook their head stubbornly. “No, I’ll stay with Levi until Sasha and Connie come back.”

Mikasa didn’t argue.

***

Jean and Mikasa tried to keep themselves busy, taking turns on lookout duty. Mikasa couldn't focus though, no matter what mindless task around the house she assigned herself. Levi would almost be proud at how tidy the place looked. Too restless to think anymore, she filled two teacups and went out to sit with Jean in the watchtower. She climbed up and sat beside him in the cold as they both stared out over the muddy, mangled path that Armin had plowed through what had been deep snow earlier that morning.

“Thanks,” muttered Jean, taking the cup gratefully from her in his shivering hands.

They sipped their tea, eyes fixed on the horizon for any sign of Sasha or Connie coming back, tension in the air as the time trickled by slowly.

“It’s weird seeing the captain this vulnerable,” said Jean absentmindedly. “He’s humanity’s strongest soldier you know? Something about seeing him like this just feels...wrong.”

Mikasa only nodded in reply. He spoke exactly what she felt.

“What will we do if he dies?” Continued Jean. “I mean, we need him. He can’t die!” she could hear the panic creeping into his voice.

Mikasa had no answer for that. She said instead. “I can take over lookout duty for now, you should go inside and get warm.”

He nodded grimly, “Maybe I can finally convince Hange to take a break.” He left, taking his empty teacup with him and leaving Mikasa alone in the tower. She stared into the gray abyss of broken trees, trying not to imagine the worst.

***

Hange was exhausted, but they refused to give in to sleep. Levi needed them now more than ever. The fever refused to drop and his breathing became weaker and weaker as the minutes ticked by.

“You can’t leave me Levi,” they whispered, grabbing his pale hand. “These kids need you, the world needs you, I need you. ”

They bent their head down and didn’t try to stop the subtle tears that fell from their eyes. Levi shivered weakly in his sleep. Hange moved their hand up to his chest, so they could feel the fluttering of his heartbeat under their touch. It was so weak, like a baby bird, so they cradled it there, willing it to stay and learn to fly.

***

There was a small bird chirping in the mist. Levi followed the sound of its voice and saw it on the damp ground, wings too small and weak to fly, crying out in a terrified high-pitched chirp.

He sank to his knees beside it. Isabel would have tried to save you… but it seems all I can do is die with you...

He lay down on the cold ground, letting the mist cover him.

He heard someone calling his name.

No...be quiet. I’m tired, just let me sleep please…

He closed his eyes and saw many faces beckoning to him. They were speaking but he couldn’t hear them. Isabel and Farlan waved to him. “Come with us!” they seemed to say. Oluo, El and Gunther called to him, but they were too far away for him to hear, and then there was Petra, smiling reassuringly.

“I can’t hear you!” he protested. The woman in the white dress from before, Kuchel Ackerman, reached out her hand, and he tried to grasp it, but there were Erwin’s hard, blue eyes, shaking his head.

“I need you,” said someone’s voice.

Levi tried to ignore it. He blinked and shook his head. Petra and the others were walking further away from him now.

“No! Take me with you!” he begged, but the mist stifled his voice, and no noise reached them.

The woman in white still beckoned to him, but her shape was blurry; he couldn’t see her face anymore.

“Remember your promise,” echoed Erwin’s voice.

“But Erwin, I can’t…. I’m too tired… Please! Take me with you!” He begged his mother, protesting Erwin’s last orders that rang in his ears even through the sifling mist. But Kuchel drifted back, out of sight, and the mist thickened, leaving him in shadows, the bird still chirping weakly beside him.

***

Mikasa shivered in the watchtower, her eyelids drooping. Please hurry, she silently willed, eyes fixed on the horizon. It was almost nightfall now, and the dusk glare cast a dusty glow on the path of mud, snow and broken trees. She considered going inside to wake up Eren or Armin to relieve her, or Jean. No, I have to stay, I have to keep watching. She knew despite her exhaustion she wouldn’t be able to sleep, so she stiffened her jaw and looked forward, eyes peeled for any movement on the darkening horizon.

Jean opened the door to Levi’s room gently, careful not to make too much noise. Hange had fallen asleep next to him, one hand lying on his chest. Jean could see it gently rising and falling, which brought momentary relief. He thought about waking Hange, but they looked so peaceful there, he figured it was better to leave them be.

Levi’s face was gray like shadows in the snow, and he coughed weakly in his sleep. Jean quietly tiptoed over to the bed and replaced the cloth on his forehead, careful not to wake the sleeping commander. He exited the room and peeked in at Eren and Armin who were both still fast asleep, before going downstairs to start another kettle. As he was filling it with snow from outside, he heard Mikasa shout.

“I can see them! They’re coming down the road!” The shaky desperation in her voice was apparent as she looked at Jean by the door. He almost dropped the kettle in relief. Finally.

Hange woke upon hearing Mikasa’s shout from outside. They sat up, surprised that they had fallen asleep, hand still across Levi’s chest that shuddered under their touch. Are they back? They stood up frantically and peeked out the door.

Jean was standing at the bottom of the stairs, halfway in the door, and Armin and Eren must have woken with the noise, because they both blinked drowsily into the hallway, observing intently.

“Mikasa spotted them!” said Jean. “They’re almost here!”

Hange breathed a sigh of relief and glanced back into the room at Levi’s sleeping form. “Just hold on a little longer,” they whispered.

Sasha and Connie leaped off their horses with urgency, not even bothering to take them to the stable before going inside. Sasha reached protectively into the satchel on her back, its precious contents bundled in her scarf. She and Connie had ridden without stopping until they came across a village. They knocked urgently at every door until someone could direct them to a doctor.

A grey-eyed man with foggy glasses opened the door, looking at the two of them with confusion. “Dr. Friedman?” asked Connie politely.

“Yes?” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“We are here on urgent military business, here is a notice from our commander,” said Sasha quickly. She thrust Hange’s note into the doctor’s hands.

“I suppose you’d better come in,” he said, ushering them inside.

They lingered just beyond the doorway while the doctor’s watery eyes scanned Hange’s instructions.

“I see,” he said, looking up at them gravely when he had finished.

Sasha and Connie both returned his glance, desperate and unblinking.

“So, it sounds like it is a quite serious chest infection, high fever, difficulty breathing, yes?” mused the doctor, walking over to a cupboard and taking out some bottles and a scale.

“Yes sir,” said Connie, shuffling his feet on the floor.

Sasha fidgeted with her hands behind her back. Please hurry.

After what felt like an eternity later, the doctor pressed a bottle of something into her trembling hands, along with a written note for Hange.

Connie hastily paid him and muttered his thanks.

Sasha nodded clumsily in gratitude, and they rode off quickly, Dr. Friedman watching them go with his brow furrowed. He was silently wondering why on earth the instructions in the Commander’s notice had said no doctor was to come to their location, only to send medicine. No matter, he thought, going back inside.

Now Sasha and Connie blundered into the house, not even stopping to remove their cloaks as they trundled up the stairs, meeting Hange in the entrance to Levi’s room.

“Good work you two,” said Hange, taking the bottle gingerly from Sasha. They lingered anxiously in the doorway as the one-eyed commander scanned the instructions scrawled on the note. They nodded and went over to Levi’s side.

“Can one of you get me some water?” asked Hange, opening the bottle and looking inside.

Sasha muttered a hurried, “yes sir,” before sprinting downstairs and returning speedily with a cup of cold water. Jean entered the room behind her, with the kettle that had just boiled. Mikasa, having abandoned her post in the watchtower, hovered outside in the hallway, joined by Eren and Armin, still in their nightclothes.

Hange gently lifted Levi from the pillows so he was sitting semi-upright. “Jean, can you hold his nostrils shut?”

Jean pinched Levi’s nose while Hange cautiously measured some of the tonic into the lid of the bottle and poured it into Levi’s mouth. They gave him some water to ensure that it went down. His chest shook slightly, but he was too weak to cough, of which Hange was glad for once, because it meant that the medicine had a chance to enter his body.

“Hopefully this will bring the fever down, and clear the infection,” said Hange after they had laid his head back on the pillows, keeping him upright so that he could breathe more easily.

“Now what?” asked Connie, still standing in the doorway.

“Now we wait to see if it takes effect,” Hange replied in a whisper, brushing some of Levi’s damp hair back from his forehead.

Hange was so exhausted that they almost didn’t notice Jean’s steady hand on their shoulder. “Commander Hange, you should really get some rest, we can look after him.”

Hange glanced backwards to see all of the scouts standing in the doorway, worry etched deep on all of their faces. They smiled slightly. If Levi ever finds out that this many people were in his room at once, watching him sleep…. Well who says I ever have to tell him?

“Okay,” they said, standing and walking towards the door. Jean had already replaced them at the bedside, cooling Levi’s forehead again.

“Thank you, all of you for your help. I know the Captain will be deeply grateful when he wakes up. He likes to pretend like he doesn’t need anyone, but I know him better than that. He needs all of us, just as much as we need him…” Hange trailed off and sighed, looking once more at Levi’s sleeping form. They weren’t sure if they imagined it, but he already looked more at ease. Too tired to hear the scouts bashfully respond to them, Commander Hange walked to their bed, with limbs heavy, and was asleep within minutes.

By the next morning, Levi’s fever had dropped a considerable amount, and his breathing seemed to become less labored. The medicine thankfully seemed to be taking effect.

The scouts worked diligently to clean up the house the next day, ensuring that every corner, every surface, and anything beyond was tidy and spotless. They kept the kettle boiling, fire roaring and lookout manned. They would be fine.

The snow outside also started to melt on its own, signalling that Hange would have no choice but to return to HQ soon. They had already been away for far too long, and they had accomplished what they had come here to do, though not necessarily in the way that they expected. Knowing this, they decided to depart the next morning, after they were sure that Levi was really on the road to recovery. It made them uneasy, leaving Levi before he had regained consciousness, but they also felt reassured that he was in good hands.

Levi’s eyes fluttered open slowly. He felt warm, a heavy blanket on top of him. He stared upwards into shocked blue eyes. Erwin…? But then he blinked. No, it was Armin, who looked at him wide-eyed with an expression of pure relief.

“Captain! You’re awake!” he exclaimed, and placed a cold hand on Levi’s forehead.

“What are you doing?” he coughed, trying to sit up.

Armin pulled his hand away, breathing with a sigh of relief. “Fever is gone. You really scared us Captain!”

Levi groaned, sinking back down into the pillows. “What happened?”

“You had a fever sir,” stuttered Armin, “you were unconscious for about four days, we were really worried!”

Unconscious for four days? He thought in alarm.

He was aware of the door creaking open softly, and Hange entered the room, beaming. “I thought I heard right!” They exclaimed, rushing towards the bed and ensnaring Levi in a crippling hug. They broke away, muttering apologies when he started coughing again, his chest still echoing with the hollow sound, but no longer gasping for breath like he had been.

Hange felt his forehead just as Armin had done and smiled to feel that it had indeed cooled to a normal temperature.

“How are you feeling?” asked Armin gently.

Levi closed his eyes tightly for a second, opening them slowly. “Better now that you’re not crushing me anymore.” His voice was still hoarse. The fever had broken, but he was far from well. His face was pale and drawn, and his eyes were glassy and distant, carrying more shadows than they had before.

“You have Armin to thank for saving your life!” said Hange.

Armin shifted his eyes to the floor, looking embarrassed. “Well I…”

“Come on, give yourself some credit!” said Hange, slapping him on the shoulder with a little too much force.

“Oh…?” replied Levi, raising an eyebrow weakly.

“He transformed and melted all the snow so we were able to find you some medicine,” said Hange.

Levi widened his eyes as much as the strain in his head would allow, impressed. “Thank you Armin, it seems I owe you a great deal.”

“It wasn’t just me,” protested Armin. “Commander Hange rarely left your side, Sasha and Connie were the ones who ran to get the medicine, Eren and Mikasa retrieved me, and Jean made sure you stayed alive while we were gone: we all helped each other. You don’t owe me anything Captain. We’re a squad and that’s what we do. We need each other; at least, I couldn’t have done it alone.” Armin averted his eyes after his outburst of sincerity.

Levi nodded in cool agreement. “It seems I chose my squad well. Erwin would be proud.”

“I’m heading back to HQ in the morning,” said Hange, “but I feel better leaving, knowing you’re in very good hands.” They smiled at Armin.

Armin looked down at the floor again, not sure if he should believe the captain’s, or the commander’s words.

Levi shuddered and coughed again, wondering why he was still so tired if he had really been asleep for four days as Armin had said.

“We should let you rest,” said Hange softly, noticing his eyelids begin to droop with heaviness.

Too exhausted and weak to reply, Levi allowed himself to sink down onto the pillows, and within seconds, he was asleep. Hange adjusted the blankets once more before they quietly left the room with Armin.

Levi slept most of the next day, consistently and without strange dreams this time. Hange peeked in briefly before they left, careful not to wake him. They hadn’t ever seen Levi sleep this soundly before. However quiet they tried to be though, he still blinked awake and said hoarsely, “where are you going?”

Even when he’s sick he’s still the world’s lightest sleeper…

“I have to go back to HQ now,” Hange said. “I’ve already been away too long, and the snow is clearing, so I don’t really have an excuse anymore.”

“Good,” grunted Levi, “I’m starting to feel like one of your experiments.”

Hange laughed. “You’ll be in good hands here, try not to miss me too much.”

He nodded and then coughed. “Seriously though, Thank you Hange. I really do appreciate it.”

Their good eye widened. “What’s that? Captain Levi expressing his appreciation for me ? Do you have a fever again?” They felt his forehead just to be sure, grinning sideways when it was revealed to be cool and dry.

He shrugged weakly. “Armin was right, maybe we do all need each other.”

Hange smiled at that and said, “No cleaning when I’m gone, no training, no unnecessary exertion- you’re still very weak so I’m ordering you to stay in bed and let the squad take care of you.”

He rolled his eyes slightly, but muttered a quiet, “yes commander,” so Hange was able to leave satisfied.

The medicine and instructions were left on the bedside table for the scouts to administer. They all waved to Hange as they rode away down the muddy path through the broken trees.

Sometime in the evening the day Hange left, there was a soft knock on Levi’s door. He grunted, waking up slowly and sitting up, still a little shaky.

Mikasa came in with a steaming bowl that she set down on the table. “I brought you some food,” she said. “I mean- I don’t know if you’re hungry but you should probably eat something.”

“Thank you,” he said hoarsely, starting to try to get out of bed, but his muscles wouldn’t obey, and he laid back down, feeling drained as if he had just faced a titan headlong. Where is all my energy? I’m supposed to be humanity’s strongest soldier, but I can barely even lift my head.

“It’s ok,” reassured Mikasa, “Don’t try to get up. You’ve been very sick sir, so it’ll be awhile before you can get your strength back.”

Levi avoided her eyes as she brought the bowl closer to him. He tried to take it from her, but she withdrew when she noticed his hands trembling. “I’d better do it,” she said in a soothing voice.

Utterly defeated by the humiliation that he was too weak to even lift his hand to eat, he allowed Mikasa to feed him the warm broth. He wasn’t aware of it tasting like anything, but he could feel it warming his body and soothing the tremors in his chest.

He wanted to stop halfway through the bowl, but Mikasa looked at him sternly and made him finish the rest, “The only way you’ll get stronger is if you eat.”

The soup made him feel warm and sleepy. Mikasa’s face was blurring before his eyes. “Rest now sir,” she said, drawing the blanket up to cover him, but he didn’t hear her; he had already closed his eyes and sunk into sleep.

Levi woke the next day to dim light coming through his icy window panes. The soft glow came from the west, signalling that it was sunset. Did I really sleep all day?

He gingerly climbed out of bed. His muscles screamed in protest, and he still coughed roughly as he stood. Hange had ordered him to stay in bed, yes, but his body was stiff and achy, not from the feverish chill in his body anymore, but from lying in bed for 5 days straight.

Shakily, he put a clean shirt on and wrapped a thin blanket around his shoulders. He didn’t know where his jacket was and he didn’t have the energy to look for it. The house was still cold, but he was certain now that this was from the frost on the windows, and not from fever.

He stumbled out of the room, holding on to the wall for support.

“Captain, what are you doing!” Exclaimed Sasha from behind him.

He turned his face to see her eyes, wide-eyed with concern.

He coughed, “I need to get out of that room, I need some air.”

She was next to him in an instant, offering her arm for support, which he reluctantly took. “Commander Hange said-”

“Don’t worry, I won’t try to clean or do anything strenuous, I just want to go downstairs,” he croaked.

Sasha looked uneasy, “but Captain Levi…”

He narrowed his eyes at her and she nodded, allowing her to take hold of his shoulders and help him downstairs.

Levi almost gasped out loud when he saw the downstairs. His eyes widened in surprise. “What...it’s completely spotless!” Every surface had been dusted, cleaned and polished.

Sashsa blushed… “Er, we cleaned a bit while you were asleep.”

Levi allowed her to guide him into the kitchen, which was immaculately clean, not a smudge nor crumb in sight. A pot of soup boiled invitingly on the stove. He actually admitted that he found himself hungry, unlike yesterday when he had forced himself to eat to appease Mikasa.

The others were milling around the kitchen, setting the table and getting ready to eat together.

“Captain Levi!” They all shouted in unison.

“Enough already,” he grumbled, as Sasha helped him into a chair. “You can’t be that happy to see me.”

“Sir, shouldn’t you still be in bed?” asked Armin nervously.

“You still look a bit pale…” remarked Mikasa. She also noticed that he had visibly lost weight. His clothes hung loosely around his shoulders and his cheeks were hollow on his face, dark circles etched deeply below his eyes.

Levi glared at them both, “So? What is it to you?”

Well at least he has his attitude back, that’s a good sign, thought Eren.

Sasha poured him a bowl of soup and set it down in front of him. He nodded to her gratefully, trying to stifle the slight shaking in his hands as he lifted the spoon. Damn it, I can do this myself... His efforts weren’t enough to completely hide his struggle though, based on the expression of concern that they were all shooting in his direction. He ignored them and instead took another look around the room intently. “I have to say, I am impressed, I’ve never seen it this clean in here; I couldn’t have done a better job myself.”

They all widened their eyes and ate their soup, too shocked that Captain Levi was complimenting them to actually say anything. “Th-thank you Captain?” said Jean hesitantly.

They all stared nervously around the table, and it was Sasha who finally broke the silence. “We were just so worried about you sir!”

“We thought you were going to die!” added Armin.

“Uh yeah… it was really unsettling having you out of commission,” said Jean.

“Please never scare us like that again Sir!” cried Mikasa.

Eren didn’t say anything but nodded vigorously in agreement, his green eyes directed across the table with determined intensity.

“Relax, it’ll take more than a stupid cough to kill me,” said Levi, ending his sentence in annoyance as he actually started coughing.

He ignored their looks of concern and said, “So, did anything interesting happen while I was asleep? I mean, besides Armin turning into a titan and Eren not being a sulky teen anymore and ignoring the rest of us.”

Eren scowled. Sasha giggled softly and Armin and Mikasa both averted their eyes.

“Pretty much sums it up sir…” said Jean, clearly trying not to laugh.

Just at that moment, the door opened with a gust of chilly air and Connie trundled in from the watchtower. He hung his cloak and said, without turning around, “Eren it’s your turn on lookout!”

He walked into the kitchen and broke into a huge smile when he saw Levi. “Captain!” He exclaimed, “Welcome back!”

“Thank you Connie,” he replied, his voice husky.

Eren stood up, eyes downcast and went to take up his post outside. Okay nevermind, he’s as moody as always.

Levi tried to help them clear away the dishes after they were all done eating, but Mikasa firmly stopped him. “Sorry sir, but Hange strictly ordered us not to let you clean.”

“Did they now…?” he sighed. There was no point fighting back over a few dishes, besides, he didn’t have the energy anyway.

Instead, he succumbed to sitting in front of the fire, subtly watching them clean up. He could hear Sasha and Connie splashing dishwater at each other, Jean complaining when it accidentally struck him, and Armin’s light footfalls as he swept the floor, Mikasa’s hands wiping down the table in smooth, polished motions…

The noises were comforting; the sound of their laughter and rhythmic working brought a warm feeling into his chest.

Someone brought him a cup of tea, but his eyes were already starting to become heavy. “Thank you,” he murmured, smiling slightly, and then feeling warm and content, he allowed himself to rest.

“I’ve never seen him look this relaxed!” whispered Mikasa, who had put down the teacup.

“Shhhh,” said Armin, covering him gently with a blanket.

They diminished into the kitchen, leaving him there with a peaceful expression on his face.

Levi slept soundly and dreamed of snow, but this time no blue-eyed shadows followed him, and he was able to watch glittering white flakes dance, laughing peacefully as they fell.

#whump #hurt comfort #levi ackerman #sickfic #attack on titan #levi #sick levi #fanfiction #levi squad #survey corps #hange zoë

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bonzai-bunny · 4 years ago

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So you want to learn how to highlight and contour

Someone asked me to make another how to post about makeup (original here) and I’m not a professional makeup artist in any way but hopefully this helps. Obligatory reminder that you do not have to do any of this at all or wear makeup if you don’t feel like it. You do what makes you feel great!

First of all, what is highlighting and contouring? It’s using light and dark to create dimension in the face. Can be soft and barely noticeable all the way to drag heavy, but it’s often used to create a particular face shape. In my case, I do it to make my face look more narrow/chiseled, but there are different techniques for different face shapes. I highly recommend finding a video on youtube from a makeup artist with your face shape and seeing how they contour and highlight!

When you highlight you want to use a shade of foundation or concealer lighter than your skin tone. The closer in shade to your own skin tone, the more subtle the highlight will be. This goes for contouring as well. You want a shade darker and cooler than your skin tone to create the illusion of shadow and the closer it is to your skin, the more subtle it will be.

Products:

For me personally (as a dark skinned black woman), I use e.l.f. Hydrating Camo Concealer in deep cinnamon and e.l.f. 16 Hour Camo Concealer in deep olive for highlight (the hydrating one gives me the finish I like and the 16 hour one gives me the golden tone I’m after). I use Fenty Beauty Match Stix in espresso for contour.

For powder I use Laura Mercier setting powder in dark and Beauty Bakery’s Flour powder in the yellow color, I’m too lazy to check what it’s called.

(Image description: a dark skinned black woman with black and pink twists, blue eyeshadow, and lighter toned concealer on her undereye, nose bridge, cupid’s bow, center chin, and center forehead)

So here I am with just the camo concealer (the orange tone also has the benefit of hiding dark spots like dark circles on dark skin). This is the area I want to draw attention to, where the light would hit center of my face.

(Image description: Two images of the same woman above in 3/4ths view, but with dark tones under her cheekbones, on jaw, and perimeter of forehead)

Here I am with the contour. These are where I would like to chisel in my features a bit. Also I added a little more of the lighter concealer. It looks wild but next, I blend it out with a beauty sponge.

(Image description: Same woman, facing straight ahead and 3/4ths profile but the highlight and contour are blended in so they are far less noticeable)

Here the above is, but blended out. I try to blend my highlight and contour so they meet each other in a more natural looking gradient.

Now, you can stop here if you want, but I add translucent powder to help give it some extra oomph and to seal it in place.

(Image description: Same woman, 3/4ths view and straight ahead with yellow powder on the areas highlighted. There is a line of powder underneath the cheekbone contour.)

I use the lighter powder first. If you’re darker, I would suggest using a powder with a yellow tint to it. For lighter skin tones, white translucent powder should work. The main purpose of this is to set the highlight so it doesn’t move (even if I’m not going anywhere). It has the added bonus of created extra light in places.

So here I’m doing something called reverse contouring. I know, you JUST learned what contouring is, wtf is reverse contouring? So this is taking a lighter product and putting it under or around an area you want to look darker by comparison. This is to just make the chisel more chiseled! I’m using powder but it can be done with cream/liquid/stick products too.

(Image description: Same woman, 3/4ths view, but the powder is no longer as noticeable)

I brushed away the light powder and went all over with the darker powder to set the contour and the foundation underneath all of this.

We’re at the end of the highlighting and contouring part. I do the rest of my makeup and here’s the before and after.

(Image description: Woman without ANY makeup on)

(Image description: Same woman with a full face of makeup, including blush, highlighter and a nude lip)

So that’s it. After all the powder you might wanna use some setting spray to look less powdery. I hope this was helpful to someone. I again implore people to watch beauty gurus who are much better at this type of thing than I am.

#long post #makeup #makeup tips #tutorial #beginner makeup #from potato to french fry

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mor-beck-more-problems · 3 years ago

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Corpses in the Meadow || Morgan & Eilidh

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @braindeacl & @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: Nothing brings together two dead women like wildflowers and flesh eating watermellons.

Morgan had thought her days of laying in the ground for hours were behind her, but April really was the cruelest month and she hadn’t gotten free of its grip yet. Today, under a bright spring sun, she furrowed her nails deep into the earth and tried to pull herself under, as if the ground and all its creatures were a blanket for her. But of course the earth didn’t hold anyone like that except for the dead. The for real, permanent, definitely-no-walking dead. Morgan brushed her fingers along the newly sprung wildflowers, imagining what their petals felt like, if they were as tender and smooth as her memory told her they were. At least she could enjoy their colors, and their fluffy golden pollen centers. Morgan plucked some carefully by the stem and knotted them together from her sprawl on the ground. Maybe if she ever got to have a real funeral, she’d ask whosever was left to care about her for wildflowers. She should probably find out if her zombie goo was toxic to plants, but if she could go back to being a part of the world, if she could be felt and taken in, that wouldn’t be the worst thing.

Carefully, Morgan plucked more flowers from around her and wove them with care, on and off, between laying and watching the bright eye of the sun through the trees, until she heard the grass crunch behind her. Morgan tilted her head back, squinting to catch a glimpse of the figure. Please no hunters, she thought. I don’t want to convince a hunter I deserve to live today.

Springtime was here, and Eilidh couldn’t help but smile. For one so shrouded in death, life in all its forms filled her with delight. As the forest shivered, awoken from its winter slumber, she felt herself drawn more and more to its embrace. Of course, she did have the professional need to be there so frequently, but that wasn’t the main motivation. Even when her ventures were work focused, such as now, she took her time getting to the needed destination. Especially after the gateway adventure and all these damn fires. Between work and wondering what the hell was going on, she deserved to have a moment of relaxation. But she tried not to worry about that now. She inhaled a deep breath—the hint of spring air tickling her nose, so accustomed to just a suggestion of its true form she didn’t know the difference. The sounds of creatures, excited by the revitalized forest as well, filled her ears with a wonderful symphony. Colors that weren’t there the day before dazzled her eyes and—wait, who was that?

She squinted. Aye, looks like a person. Well, she should probably investigate. Changing course, she got closer, and closer, and closer, until she could clearly see what the other person was doing. Arms to her hips, brows furrowed, voice stern, she called, “Hey, you’re not supposed to do that!” A pause. Then, a grin. “Nah, it’s whatever. Just don’t pick too much, or I will have to actually ask you to stop.” Even closer now, she peered curiously as the braided flora, trying to make sense of its unfinished form. “What are you working on, anyway?”

The voice calling out to Morgan definitely didn’t sound like a hunter. “Sorry!” Morgan called dully. Then the voice warmed, not laughing, but bouncing like it wanted to. Slowly, Morgan sat up to look at her. Definitely a lot prettier and friendlier than any stranger she’d run into in the woods so far. “I’m making, well…” She looked down at her handiwork. It had gotten too long to be a circlet, unless she wanted to twist it over itself. “Honestly, I’m just passing the time. Making things helps me think. Or not think, I guess. Normally I do that at home, I’m not a serial flower picker or anything. I just didn’t feel like being inside about it.” But she did, apparently, feel like oversharing about it.

Morgan grinned ruefully and held it out to the stranger. “Do you want it? It’ll look better on you, with how tall you are.” She nodded at her, insisting. “Are these your woods?”

“Seems like you’ve had a lot of time to pass.” Eilidh mused while surveying the length of the, well, the to-be-decided. It reminded her of her own absentminded creations, especially during days when she would forego human society for days, weeks, months at a time. And it was a pretty little thing; she could tell its creator had experience.

She perked excitedly at the offering—eyes alight and giggle bubbling—and immediately claimed it, though with care. Within her grasp, she gently turned and twisted the woven piece, concentration on her face. Suddenly, epiphany. She dropped down to her knees, taking care to not disturb too much of the vegetation below. She wrapped it once around her head, quickly connecting the end piece to the rest, and then began to weave the remaining part within her own hair into a side braid. “I don’t claim them, but I do work here.” Feeling hospitable after the generosity, she continued. “Speaking of, I was heading over to do something. But I know a real good flower spot on the way. It’s not on a commonly used trail. So, nice and private. But you can’t pick any of those. And I’ll know, so don’t try. Still, they’re wonderful to look at, ‘specially right now.” She finished the braid. Part of the flowers still stuck out at the end; her hair just wasn’t quite long enough. Ah well. “Interested?”

Morgan looked up at the sky to check the position of the sun, then her phone to confirm her suspicions. She’d been laying here for hours and it had barely felt like anything. Maybe that could have been a relief, but she’d been down this proverbial hole too many times to be glad about skipping suffering by being absent from herself. “I guess I have, yeah…” Her voice tapered off into a laugh. Technically, she had all the time in the world.

She smiled in spite of herself as the woman wrapped the flowers into her hair. She seemed to have done it before. “So that’s why you’d have to stop me if I became too much of a flower thief. At least you’re a lot more pleasant than any of the other public service workers I’ve met in town.” Although between Marley Stryder and Kaden in his scowl-y asshole days, that bar was pretty low. Morgan looked at the sky again. It was well past morning, but she didn’t feel like going back home while everyone in it was away doing...alive-people things, presumably. “Uh...you know, I don’t see why not. It’s okay if I take pictures of them though, right? It’s not gonna hurt them any.” Slowly, she got to her feet and waited for the woman to show her the way. “If we’re going off on unknown woodsy adventures, I should probably know you as something better than ‘strangely nice park lady’. I’m Morgan.”

Mischief twinkled in Eilidh’s eyes when she looked upon the other. “You caught me. I want all the flowers to myself.” Sentence punctuated with a mock evil laugh. She did, perhaps, on her off time, pick flowers and use them for various things. She mostly placed them in her hair, or pressed them in a book, or added them to her crafts, similar to the one now braided in her hair. She always made sure not to take too much, and to give back to the earth in ways she could.

Her? Pleasant? James would scoff if he was near, but he was off having private time. Though, at times, she could be such a word. Especially when she was surrounded by all that nature could give: when the sun hit the nape of her neck and the breeze cooled her skin and the trees danced amongst the flow. It calmed her. It was why she always felt drawn to it. It was her home. It was the only true one she had left, anyhow.

She arose, brushing off remnants of the ground off her skirt. “Aye, photography’s fine. Just don’t have me in them. I don’t like paparazzi. And call me Macleod.” She nodded in greeting. Then, with her head, she motioned onward and began their journey. “This way. It’s not too far from here.” Initially, the trail they took was large and the ground smooth, packed down by many feet over the years: a main path. The trail Eilidh quickly turned into was less so. It was marked, and it would come up on the map if you looked, but the ground was noticeably less tame. And the surrounding wilderness knew this, knew the barrier between it and the path was weaker. Eilidh didn’t bat an eye as they continued.

Morgan laughed softly in response. “Are you saying you’re secretly an international pop star on the run, Macleod?” She teased dryly. “Because I could use the boost to my Instagram profile. Cat pictures interspersed with flowers, decaying animals, and their bones isn’t very mainstream.” She took out her phone, arching a brow, then turned and took a close shot of a tree branch. It was easier to hold herself up in front of someone, especially a stranger. She had her pride, even if sometimes she overshared to the point of distressing people. And then, new people were such convenient puzzles and experiences. She didn’t have to be sad looking at herself if she was learning their expressions and what they were like and how their presence colored the world.

She followed this woman, Macleod, down the trail. It was one of those obscure ones that was half grown over by neglect, or some unspoken message from nature. Morgan had a sense that they were passing into someone else’s territory. Morgan stumbled behind her, scanning their surroundings, the birds flying above the trees, the blur of butterflies in the distance. Further on, she thought she spied a shadow, some deer maybe, lazing on its way through its day. “And this is definitely a secret flower patch and not a secret murder patch, right…?” She asked.

“I’ll never tell.” She winked. Then, pause. Instagram. Eilidh was almost sure she knew which one that was. Should someone the age she looks like know what that was? She decided not to mention it and look it up later. “Really? ‘Cause all that already got my attention.” The brief moment the phone faced her, she stiffened ever so slightly—shoulders barely rose, face found a subtle hardness. As the lens passed on to a new target, the tension washed off her just as quickly as it came. Her eyes followed the new direction. A simple tree branch, but the way the light hit it just so… she understood the interest.

She let out a short chuckle. “Nah, the murder patch is half a klick that way.” She took note of Morgan’s unease and quickened her pace, figuring it was best to get to their destination sooner rather than later. The breeze picked up, brushing aside the flimsy vegetation ahead and the pair got an early glimpse of their goal. Colors erupted between the green, as if a window into another world. The wind took a turn, and the air suddenly became engulfed in a cornucopia of sweetness. Unfortunately, to her it was only a little tickle in her nose. Nothing more.

“Really?” Morgan said, brows raised. “Well that’s not something I hear every day. You don’t have a collection too, do you? Because I have a lot of death sculptures and I’m running out of shelf space.” Not that she’d been adding much to it lately. Between taking care of her family and being too miserable to cook for herself, she hadn’t been doing much in her studio besides breathing and spacing out. But if a normie like Cutler could find something nice in it, maybe Macleod could too.

But before Morgan could make her pitch, they arrived. It had rained the night before and the ground was still iridescent with water, which now shimmered in the sunlight as if enchanted with a glaze of pearl. White flowers streamed over the grass as if they’d been poured from the sky. Bunches of violets and peonies danced in the breeze and a thin haze of dandelion puffs and pollen floated like pixies through the air. Morgan gaped in awe, too awed to bother aiming her camera. “I was about eighty-five percent sure you were serious about this not being a murder patch, but stars above--” She tipdoed carefully into the flowers, trying to disturb as few of them as possible. “What are their names?” she asked, sinking down to brush the petals. “What do they smell like?”

Eilidh perked curiously. “Can’t say I have a ‘death sculpture’ collection. What’d they look like?” Images of a room overcome with ceramic skeletons filled her mind. And then, the same room taken over by structures constructed by pieces of the dead. But all theorizing dashed from her mind at the sudden burst of colors. Despite having found herself in the spot many times, the sight was still delightful. Especially now, when many of the flowers were finally awoken from their slumber—stretching, dancing in the spring air. Their full vitality overwhelming the area in every hue. The forest was a sky, and this was its rainbow. Morgan’s reaction reminded Eilidh of when she first found the area less than a year prior. Sadly, it was located just as the flowers began to take their rest. But now she can enjoy it in its full glory.

“Well, that one’s Jeffrey, that one’s Helga.” She pointed to flowers at random. “Kidding… Maybe. Who knows, they could like being called Helga.” Still, she wasn’t going to force upon them a name. But she wasn’t sure if her current company would understand the sentiment, so she continued. “Anyway, these are known as Dog’s Tooth,” she motioned to a congregation of yellow petaled flowers, “and those’re Lady’s Slippers,” it was the collection of peculiarly shaped flower’s turn to be gestured at. “To name a few.” She matched Morgan’s tentative steps and joined her by a dense patch of purple flowers, one of which Morgan currently caressed. While the petals were small, their large numbers resulted in a relatively tall plant. She nodded, regarding its presence. “This one is supposedly very obedient. But I can tell they still have a wild spirit.” She too placed a gentle finger on the petals, though her fingers hardly registered anything. Her nose faced the same situation. A faint sweetness lingered, but only enough to register its existence, not to understand. “Uh, they smell like flowers. Sweet. Ya know.” Odd question. It made her wonder.

Something lurked just outside of view. But it was coming closer.

Morgan was too swept up in the rainbow spray of flowers to notice anything in the shadows. She was picking her way over to the edge of the patch so she could lay down without crushing any of them. She took out her phone and photographed the biggest flowers up close, and then from as close to ‘below’ as she could. “Pixie’s eye view, you know?” She teased. She really did want to find out if this was how Sundew and the rest of her pixie family saw the world, but Macleod didn’t need to know that. “Also, I think it would be pretty great if you actually had named them. Helga’s especially pretty.” She brushed her finger over the petals and tried to remember what they felt like. She would think of them when she touched Deirdre’s lips. Sometimes they were so smooth, just a little sticky with her matte color of the day. Maybe this flower was like that. Morgan smiled fondly at the association. At last she put her phone away and sat up, simply enjoying the light in the moment. She took a deep inhale, but all she got was a faint whiff of...flower. She couldn’t detect enough to separate anything besides that soft, pollen-y perfume. “I...had my sense of smell damaged in an accident,” she said at last. “Nothing’s like it used to be. But it’s okay, if you don’t know how to describe it. And it’s probably hard, with so many around…” She let the thought go with a sad sigh, then sat a little straighter, forcing herself to brighten. “How did you find this? I know it’s your job to be here, but it must have taken a while to notice.”

For a moment, Eilidh’s eyes glanced upon Maybe-Helga: a beautiful white flower with magenta freckles at the base of elongated petals. She wished she knew what they thought of the name. She’d try asking another time. “Hm, maybe.” Before musing on that thought for too long, she looked back at the sound of Morgan taking a deep breath. Watched as her features and her words darkened in the aftermath, a rolling cloud casting a shadow over the otherwise beautiful day. Eilidh wanted to help. But she couldn’t even pretend. The true complexities of their scents had been lost to the forgetfulness of time. A part of a life she pretended was fully disconnected from her. What she could detect now was all she could ever know. Not that it bothered her much; how could you miss something you never knew?

“I spend lots of time exploring. Probably too much.” She winked, pressing a finger on her lips. “Don’t tell anyone.” While she took her job seriously, she never understood the notion that her entire time had to be utilized for work, and work, and more work. What’s the point of being among flowers if she can’t (sort of) smell them? But that thought was pushed out when a rustle occurred just on the outskirts of the meadow. An intrigued hum rushed through her throat as she got a closer look of the– “Watermelon?” Odd. She hadn’t spotted it when they first got there. And watermelons don’t just appear out of nowhere. Taking another step forward, her eyes scanned the nearby area. Trying to detect whoever left it behind. Focus drawn elsewhere, the watermelon quickly rolled up to her without detection. She looked down and it rolled to a stop near her feet. As if struck by an invisible knife, it was cleaved in two. Fangs protruded out of each half, filling the newly opened space. Her eyes held curiosity at the action.

But it craved blood. Its fangs dug into her leg. With a shout, Eilidh started wrestling it off.

“Watermelon?” Morgan repeated. She had moved on to another flower, which had a pistil so large it made the flower look like a face with a long, odd nose, and was thinking of a person-name to give it. So she didn’t notice anything was wrong until Macleod screamed.

“Oh, shit--!”

Morgan scrambled to her feet and trampled through the flower patch to get to the other woman. “Hold on, you’re gonna be okay!” She shoved her arm between its wet melon jaws, forcing it loose enough for Macleod’s leg to come free. The melon, hungry for anything, chomped down on her arm, shredding her muscles to ribbons. Morgan clamped her jaw shut to muffle the sound of her scream and tried to bash the melon into the ground. But strong as she was, the melon was pretty hefty, and with the pain and awkwardness, she only managed to dent a few chunks off its bulbous shape. “I got this!” She choked out. “Get as far away as you can!”

Pent up force building up as she struggled, when the hold of the watermelon was released, Eilidh tumbled backwards. She shot back up to see… Morgan had taken her place? Eilidh didn’t know whether to be worried or impressed by her tenacity. But it was no time for introspection, it was clear Morgan was suffering. Eilidh stuck out the—non-chewed up—leg and fished out the iron dagger strapped to the thigh. Then she launched herself back into the fray. The blade struck deep into the green flesh. She pressed it forward, adding a new gash. But this time, no teeth sprouted out. Instead, it seized, trembling for a few moments, until stillness took over. The teeth relinquished themselves from Morgan.

She stared at the mangled arm. But something, something familiar, was off about it. “Fuck. Ok, let’s get you out of–” More rustling. Eilidh whipped her head to the sound. Two watermelons revealed themselves. Perhaps this was their area? She’d usually try and leave them alone at this point, if willing. Or in this instance, pick up Morgan and leave. But her leg was still healing, so she wasn’t sure if she’d be fast enough to outrun their roll. Making a decision, she gripped her leg, fingers encircling the flesh loosened by the first watermelon. She ripped off a chunk and threw it away from the flowers. Bait. Like hungry sharks, the two dived at the morsel. While they were distracted, she kicked into one so hard it bent her toes into the balls of her feet. The watermelon went flying into the trunk of a tree. Smash! Red chunks flew out of the mouth cavity as it rolled back onto the ground. Her eyes locked onto the remaining one. While her attention had been focused elsewhere, it had started making its move towards Morgan. But Eilidh interrupted, pouncing on it and sending stab after stab. It tried to roll away, the thing was surprisingly slippery considering, but with one final strike of her dagger, it stopped as well.

Morgan tumbled free and rolled onto the flowerbed. The watermelon’s teeth hurt coming out just as much as they’d hurt coming in. She dug her hands into the ground, ripping up grass as her arm knit itself back together again. “What are you doing? They’re gonna--” She turned her head toward the carnage. Macleod was--handling herself just fine? She saw the woman rip off her leg and use it as bait. The rest of Macleod’s watermelon slaughter passed in a daze. That woman had just ripped off her leg. She ripped off her leg like it was nothing and she didn’t have anything coming out of it except for a few black globs of blood. She didn’t even look phased. Was this what it felt like when people watched her cut off her fingers?

When the last watermelon had been stabbed to a pulp, Morgan sat up, staring at Macleod with open wonder. “You ripped off your leg to save me,” she said. “And I turned my arm into hamburger meat to save you.” She held out the still-healing arm for emphasis, laughing deliriously. The two of them pouncing on watermelons to save the day when neither of them were in danger of dying again. It was hilarious. “So...you’re a zombie too, huh?”

Eilidh looked over at the carnage. Hopefully those watermelons would have a better go next time. She nodded, a casual bow, with words leaving her lips, so soft they were illegible. She turned, remembering eyes were still on her. Passions had distracted her. In the heat of the moment, she forgot to consider how Morgan would react to, well, the way her body reacted to violence. Her leg was in clear view, already at work to reseal the newly torn muscles. There was no denying it; no future attempt at naivety. She considered her options. The grip on her dagger tightened. Wait, no, no, not that. Not again. She sighed. “Let’s just forget this and get you help.” But before she could pick up the injured woman, her eyes focused on her arm. The arm that was also in the process of healing. Same as her own tattered limb. Tissue that hadn’t been there just a moment prior concealed parts of the lesion, with more on the way. Where the fresh skin hadn’t been produced, a familiar black ooze leaked out. Arm mirrored leg. Realizing no real danger to Morgan was present, Eilidh relaxed. All the two needed was rest. She wished she had known that a minute earlier, though. Poor critters.

And there it was. That word. Tension returned, forcing her body into a straight fixture. Face contorted, words sour. “No, I’m not! I’m a–” She took a deep breath. “Doesn’t matter what I am.” It sounded more like she was trying to convince herself rather than Morgan. “So you’re one then, yeah?”

“Oh, no!” Morgan said, grimacing with embarrassment. “It’s just. I’ve only seen two more of us. Ever. And one of them was my best friend who made me like this at the last minute. My last minute, not theirs, obviously. Uh--” None of these were the words she was actually trying to get out. “I’m not used to this. Or asking for personal terminology. Sorry. What I’m trying to say is I’m sorry. I know the z word isn’t for everyone and I shouldn’t have assumed, I was just--” She looked at her haplessly. “It’s just been a really lonely time for me lately. And you’re--kind of incredible. And it does matter to me, what you want to be called. Very much. But yeah. I’m one too. A year now, so, still new. Newer at this than it feels like. How long have you been...you know? Do you meet a lot of people like us out here?”

While her ears listened to Morgan’s words, Eilidh’s eyes drifted to the blade in her hand—both slick and sticky with the juices of the fallen. Curiously—it was flesh after all—she gave it a lick, collecting the remnants of the slain creatures on her tongue. Nothing. She tasted nothing. Figures. She wiped the rest of the juices off with her sock before returning the dagger to its holster. Her eyes returned to looking, watching, Morgan. Studying her. The heat from her outburst still burned at her throat, but it started to cool as the woman’s words sunk in. The apology seemed genuine, and the attempt at reconciliation was appreciated. The creases on her face lifted, revealing a softer expression. Especially at the admittance to the newness of her existence and the loneliness following; at that she finally lifted her hands, patting the air in a calming motion. “It’s alright, it’s alright. That word is just—I hate it. But I’m not mad.” Not anymore, at least. The flow of apologetic words had been enough to calm Eilidh’s sudden temper. Brief silence followed as she looked Morgan up and down. Considering. “I’m a Slúagh. Similar to—yeah. But not the same. Guess we’re sorta like cousins in a way. Besides you, I’ve only met one zombie in White Crest. But I’ve seen a few here and there over the years.” Never another just like her, however. But she refrained from mentioning or even hinting at… them. That would only lead to further questions; questions she was not in the mood to answer. “And let’s just say I’m old.”

Morgan squirmed under the intensity of Macleod’s gaze. “Hated, noted,” she said. “I’ve never heard that other term before. Slu-aagh? Is it a regional thing, or a time period thing, do you think? But either way, I mean, all my birth family died before I did, so I barely remember what it’s like to have a cousin. This still feels really--I know we don’t have biochemical instant affinity for each other like fae do, but it feels wrong to brush off finding each other, when there don’t seem to be many of us who survive long enough to be found. And if we’re lucky, there won’t be many other people who can know us as long as we can. That, and we just saved each other…” She petered into laughter. “Even if we were pretty much fine the whole time. So, why not? Be friends, or as much as we can be to each other. Have you fed recently, by any chance? Because I have some meal prepped brain burgers at home, if you want. Or I could grab some of whatever you eat, if that’s something different. If you want, of course.”

“Slúagh.” The word rolled off her tongue naturally. “Not just a term. It’s what I am.” Eilidh insisted, that fire ready to return if resistance was found. At the following statement, Eilidh simply just stared. She couldn’t remember having—no, she’s never had a family. At least not biologically. Slúaghs can’t reproduce after all. No matter how much she had tried. With the mention of friendship, the blank expression plastered on her face shifted into the hint of a pleased one. Eyes widened in interest. It was always nice, making a new connection. And she was right. This existence could get lonely, in that sense. It was impossible to find those like her, and rare to run into those like Morgan. At least ones that had a good grip on themselves. Not everyone was cut out for their unique lifestyle, even with help. And moaning and groaning didn’t make for good conversation, though the wrestling could be fun. The other ones, well. Most acted like she was lying about who—what—she was. Sometimes the thought was enough to send her tempers firing. Enough to make her generally avoid association with them, in case of opposition. But for some reason she still craved that kinship. While the use of us didn’t go unnoticed, and her face had tensed at the usage, Morgan seemed to be less dismissive than the average. And those gentle eyes were very persuasive, inviting. Morgan reminded her of James; she should introduce them.

A drop of hunger stirred from within at the thought of feeding, dashing out any contemplation. “Nah. And getting your leg chewed to hell makes a gal hungry.” The damaged leg was close to appearing as if nothing happened, a craving the only reminder it did. She hummed curiously. “Brain burgers! Fun. I usually don’t bother cooking. So, brain burgers it is.” A small chuckle escaped her. “What a first friend date, though, huh?” She gestured to the watermelon gore surrounding them.

It meant far too much to Morgan to hear the word “friend date.” She was smiling too much. When she looked at the watermelon gore around them, she burst with laughter that startled two birds from their nest. She had to clench herself still to keep from bouncing. “Yes! I mean, to the burgers. They take awhile to make, getting some flavor to actually, you know, flavor, but they’re pretty nice! Not like what you remember, if you do remember, but it’s better than plain grey stuff.” And now she was talking too much again. As you do. Morgan got to her feet and dusted herself off. “But all this--” She gestured, laughing again. “I think that’s just how White Crest brings people together.”

#corpses in the meadow #wr eilidh #wr chatzy

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ga-yuu · 4 years ago

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“Cherry Blossom colored love” Part 2~ Yoritomo Story

*Shogunate hallway background* (Yuno POV)

One spring night---

(I have to hurry....!!)

I was walking fast as I could in the hallway.

It was only a while ago when I heard Yoritomo-sama’s return.

(I also heard that some bandits attacked him and got injured on the way...)

I happened to hear some vassals talking about this incident, so I quickly headed to his room with my medicine box.

..........

*Yoritomo’s room background*

Yuno: “Yoritomo-sama, are you alright!?”

I forgot to knock in a hurry and instantly opened the sliding doors to Yoritomo-sama’s room.

He was sitting at the back of his room, looked up when I called his name.

Yoritomo: “What’s wrong? What’s with that pale face? Did you want to see me so badly?”

(Eh?)

While resting his elbow on the armrest, Yoritomo-sama looked at me with what looked like a teasing smile.

Morinaga-san who was sitting opposite him also looks at me with slight confusion.

Morinaga: “What’s wrong? Yuno.”

Yuno: “I’m sorry to disturb you. I heard Yoritomo-sama was attacked by some bandits and got injured....”

After hearing my words, Morinaga-san looked at me with a surprised face but then smiled.

Morinaga: “Well, what you heard is true. But do you actually think Yoritomo-sama would be injured?”

Yuno: “So he’s not?”

Yoritomo: “I’m completely fine, as you can see.”

Morinaga: “There is a small mistake in what you heard. The one who got injured is the other party.”

Yuno: “Oh....”

Morinaga: “Apparently the attack was out of blue.”

Yoritomo: “That guy tried to lay hands on me while Morinaga was around. Too bad he didn’t make it alive.”

Morinaga: “I was with him as an escort, but I didn’t think I’d get a chance to play a part at the end.”

While listening to their conversation, I remembered what I heard from the vassals before I came here.

---FLASHBACK---

*Shogunate hallway background*

Vassal 1: “Did you hear that Yoritomo-sama has returned? Also, there was an attack and he got severely injured.”

Vassal 2: “That’s right, I feel bad for him...”

---FLASHBACK ENDS---

(So the one who was killed was the attacker....!!)

(I know, normally these two guys couldn’t be beaten that easily.)

When I realized my mistake, I instantly blushed from embarrassment and opened the sliding door without waiting for their reply.

Yuno: “Sorry, my mistake. Please excuse me.”

Yoritomo: “Wait.”

Yoritomo-sama instantly stops me, when I quickly tried to leave.

Yoritomo:(with the most lecherous face) “Since you’re already here, come closer.”

He gives me his nasty smile and I started to have a bad premonition.

Morinaga: “Okay. Since I finished my report, I have no reason to stay here. See you tomorrow, Yuno. That is if you survive his teasing. Good luck anyway.”

Yuno: “Ah Morinaga-san!”

(He’s gone....)

He closed the sliding doors mercilessly and left me here to die.

Yoritomo: “Yuno. How long are you going to stand there?”

Feeling prompted, I had no choice but to sit next to him.

Yuno: “Okay. Look I got worried when I got the news about someone being injured and came here running without confirming.”

Yoritomo: “That’s what I’m asking you. Why did you make such a mistake? Were you feeling lonely when I was away for few days?”

Yuno: “Hmm...It's not like that. But it can’t be helped because you can’t avoid your work.”

Yoritomo: “Heh.”

Yoritomo-sama, then hugged me tightly as he smiled amusingly.

Yoritomo: “You’re not being truthful.”

On contrary to his teasing tone, his gesture seemed a little cute and that ached the back of my chest.

Yuno: “I’m relieved that you came back safely.”

Yoritomo: “Yeah.”

Yoritomo-sama smiled and finally stroked my head.

Yoritomo: “It's too early to go to bed. I’ll take you somewhere nice as a reward for answering honestly.”

Yuno: “What? Now?”

He reaches out for me when I looked confused.

Yoritomo: “It's not that far. Come, let’s go.”

Yuno: “Okay.”

(I’m curious as to where you’re taking me.)

At the same time, I was excited to go out with him after he came back from his work.

......

*Cherry blossom tree background*

Yoritomo-sama brought me to a hill, not far from the Imperial Palace. There was a big beautiful cherry blossom tree shining under the moonlight.

Yuno: “Woah, how pretty.”

Yoritomo: “Yeah, but it's beginning to fall.”

The pale red petals reflected the moonlight and stand out white in the night. At the same time when I felt the wind brushing my cheeks, the petals also fluttered down.

Yuno: “I had no idea, this place was nearby.”

Yoritomo: “I don’t blame you. Even I happened to find it while taking a different road back to Kamakura.”

(And he wanted to show me this view....)

A heat of joy gradually spreads my chest and I looked back at the cherry blossoms next to Yoritomo-sama.

Then a mysterious feeling welled up in me as I saw the petals falling one by one.

Yuno: “It’s beautiful, but I feel scared at the same time.”

When I made that sudden remark, I started to wonder about my own words.

Yuno: “I wonder why I’m scared when it's so beautiful.”

Yoritomo: “You’re not wrong. The cherry blossoms at the end of the fall have long been a symbol of death.”

Yuno: “Really?”

Yoritomo: “It’s in the ‘Nihon Shoki’(book written and published in 720 AD which comprises oldest official history of Japan and myths.). The story of Ninigi no Mikoto and Konohanasakuyahime. Ninigi no Mikoto chose Konohanasakuyahime, the incarnation of cherry blossoms, as his marriage partner. But the life of every human being on earth, even those of God’s blood, is equally doomed to be scattered.” (If you still don’t understand the story check this link.) That’s the story.”

(....So cherry blossom tree is a symbol of human’s limited life...)

The reason why my heart was tightened was that the profile of Yoritomo-sama, who was talking about the myth, looked somewhat lonely.

Before I could feel anxious, Yoritomo-sama suddenly hugged me.

Yuno: “Yoritomo-sama?”

Yoritomo: “Why do you look so sad?”

Yuno: “No...I...”

(Yoritomo-sama really understands me very well.)

While completely being consumed by his warmth, my heart starts to pound. However, I was feeling reluctant to accept the kindness of being ahead of me, and I smiled in a hurry.

Yuno: “I just thought it was surprising. I didn’t know that Yoritomo-sama was familiar with myths.”

Yoritomo: “Well, I just remembered the story that was taught to me when I was a kid. If you want more, I’ll tell you something more interesting.”

Yuno: “?”

Yoritomo: “I heard this from Tamamo.”

Yoritomo-sama apparently started talking about ghosts that haunt the cherry blossom trees.

Yoritomo: “It seems that a ghost occasionally appears under the cherry blossom tree and grants human wishes.”

Yuno: “Really, that’s it?”

(I expected it to take a scary turn but it didn’t.)

Yoritomo-sama smiled mischievously as if he had seen through my heart.

Yoritomo: “But if it doesn’t like the human, it will devour him from head to toe.”

Yuno: “Wh-Why would it do that...?”

Yoritomo: “Who knows. They are fickle and follow their own desires. There’s no point in trying to make sense of them in the way humans can understand.”

(That may be very well true...)

I felt the wind was getting colder, so I looked up at the cherry blossoms and rubbed my arms.

In the past, I might have heard this story and thought that it wasn’t real. But now that I know about the existence of monsters, I feel like the ghost under the cherry blossom tree might appear too.

Yoritomo: “It has started to get cold. Do you want to go back?”

Yuno: “Yeah, let’s go.”

I tried not to show how I was a little scared and went back home.

.......

*Shogunate hallway background*

Yuno: “Thanks for showing me that beautiful view.”

Yoritomo: “Yeah, but it's a shame that it's all going to scatter in few days.”

As we walked down the hallway, while remembering the sight, one of Yoritomo-sama’s retainers walked from the other side.

Vassal: “Ah Yoritomo-sama, you have arrived. Sorry to trouble you at night, but in fact, there is a report I have for you.”

After listening to his vassal’s words, Yoritomo-sama thinks about something for a moment.

Yoritomo: “Okey I get it. You can wait for me in the hall.”

Yoritomo urged his vassals to the hall first before turning to me.

(ah....)

His face comes closer to my ear as if to whisper a secret. When his feint breath touches my ear, I start to blush.

Yoritomo: “You just heard a ghost story. Are you sure you’ll be alright alone? If you’re scared, you’re always welcomed to sneak into my room.”

His low voice makes my cheeks even hotter.

Yuno: “No thanks. I’m not scared and I’m already an adult.”

(And I also don’t want to disturb Yoritomo-sama’s sleep since he has been busy these days.)

Seeing my rebellious attitude, Yoritomo-sama smiles.

Yoritomo: “Fine then. Come whenever you change your mind.”

In the end, he left for the hall leaving a tempting whisper behind.

.......

After few minutes....

I was standing in front of Yoritomo-sama’s room.

Yuno: ‘Yoritomo-sama, are you back yet?”

When I called out his name, there was no reply from inside.

(Hmmm... I wonder if he’s still in the hall.)

----FLASHBACK----

Yoritomo: “If you’re scared, you’re always welcomed to sneak into my room.”

----FLASHBACK ENDS----

(I’m no afraid of the cherry blossom ghost, but----)

When I remember the face of Yoritomo-sama I saw at that time, I felt uncomfortable.

After a small hesitation, I gently opened the door.

Yuno: “....I’m coming in.”

*Yoritomo’s room background*

When I entered the room, I saw Yoritomo-sama lying on his bed, asleep.

(He’s already asleep...)

(It’s not like Yoritomo-sama to not know if someone comes in.)

I was a little worried but managed not to make a sound and slowly walked upto his bed.

(Maybe he’s really sleeping...)

I knelt at his bedside and stared at his sleeping face. Immediately after that, the back of my chest buzzed again, and my anxiety revived.

---FLASHBACK---

Yoritomo: “The cherry blossoms at the end of the fall have long been a symbol of death.”

---FLASHBACK ENDS---

His sad expression was stuck in my head since then.

Yoritomo-sama is a man who is willing to take the initiative in the war for the sake of the role he has to fulfil.

(I thought I was already prepared to be by his side.)

(But I’m scared when I think about what would happen to him.)

Perhaps today’s misunderstanding was due to that fear that might come in the future.

I had been pretending to be oblivious to the fact that my timid heart was exposed by the night cherry blossoms and I really wanted to see Yoritomo-sama’s face before I went to sleep.

(One day, even if something like an irresistible destiny takes him away from us, then---)

(I’m not strong as Morinaga-san to protect him physically.)

Driven by the anxiety on my heart, I quietly laid next to him and made sure not to wake him up. I gently cradle his head against my chest.

(Let me stay by your side as long as I have a life.)

Yuno: “.....Please.”

When I whispered like I was praying---

Yuno: “!”

I felt his hand going around my waist and pulling me closer.

Yuno: “Yo-Yoritomo-sama....are awake?”

Yoritomo: “.............”

Yoritomo-sama, who I assumed was still sleeping, sighs softly.

When I tried to quietly get up, I realized the hand which was holding me had to be taken off in order for me to get up, which would definitely wake him up.

(He looks really tired. He has another inspection tomorrow and was also busy for the past few days.)

(Let me sleep with you tonight.)

I decided to think of an excuse when he wakes up in the morning and snuggled on his chest. Feeling his body heat and listening to his heartbeat calmed me down.

.......

*Inspection Site background* (Yoritomo POV)

The next day, Yoritomo came to visit the land near Kamakura.

Yoritomo:” ..........”

Yoritomo looks like he is thinking about something, even though he is doing what he is supposed to do.

Morinaga: “You have received many gifts this time.”

Morinaga accompanied me for this inspection as well.

Morinaga: “Are you not going to wear that glittering cloak today?”

Yoritomo: “I’ll wear that later. Anyway, I’m going back to Kamakura.”

I looked at the elegant cloak, which I usually don’t wear. Then for some reason, Morinaga smiled and sat in front of me.

Morinaga: “Now, tell me what’s wrong with you?”

Yoritomo: “What do you mean?”

Morinaga: “You’re doing your job, but there seems to be something you’re worried about.”

Perhaps he has known me for quite a long time, he could easily see through me. Then I opened my mouth while thinking about Yuno last night.

Yoritomo: “Have you heard Yuno’s wish?”

Morinaga: “Wish....? What is it?”

Yoritomo: “I don’t know. Yuno came to my room last night when I fell asleep---”

I remembered the sound of Yuno’s earnest voice as she prayed ‘Please’ and explained it to Morinaga.

Morinaga: “I see. Now I’m curious too. But Yuno fell asleep with you after that, right? Did you ask her today morning?”

Yoritomo: “Sure enough, I did ask her in the morning.”

---FLASHBACK---

Yuno: “Go-Good Morning.”

Yoritomo: “Oh Good morning. So are you going to tell me why you secretly sneaked into my room last night?”

Yuno: “..............I got scared after listening to your ghost story.”

Yoritomo: “What’s with that pause?”

Yuno: “Oh, by the way, I have to make the medicine you asked me for. Also, Yoritomo-sama is planning to leave early, right? I’m sorry to disturb you. Excuse me!”

Yoritomo: “Hey! And she’s gone.”

---FLASHBACK ENDS---

A faint smile appears on my lips as I recall Yuno’s appearance this morning.

Yoritomo: “She is a real pain in the ass, you know that?”

Morinaga: “I like the face you’re making now.”

Yoritomo: “Now now, don’t make fun of me like that.”

I smiled as I continued to read the rest of the documents.

The day after Yoritomo went for the inspection....

*Shogunate hallway background* (Yuno POV)

I was working hard as a pharmacist as usual.

Vassal: “Thank you, Yuno-san.”

Yuno: “No more bruise right.? Please take good care of yourself.”

(Okay.....today’s work is over.)

Today is the day when Yoritomo-sama returns from the inspection, but I heard that he will arrive at night.

(I was told to show up when he comes back, but what will I do until then.)

After cleaning up my tools, I remembered the cherry blossom tree I saw with Yoritomo-sama.

(.....I was a little worried that night, but I’m fine now.)

(Let’s go see it again before it scatters.)

.......

*Cherry Blossom tree background*

By the time I reached the view, it was almost twilight.

(After all, it's beautiful...)

When I was staring at the petals that were scattered around---

I suddenly heard someone’s footsteps behind me.

???: “What are you doing here?”

When I suddenly heard someone’s voice behind me, closer than I expected, I turned around.

It was a man wearing a gorgeous light red haori coat while hiding his face with an open fan. It was a breathtaking sight to see.

(Maybe...)

Yuno: “The cherry blossom ghost?”

As I asked that, I remembered the story Yoritomo-sama told me.

(No that’s impossible, right?)

A sneaky grin under the fan confirming my doubts caught my eye.

???: “Do you have any wish you’d like me to grant?”

For some reason, I was terribly attracted to his quiet voice.

The man gently reaches out to me, when I was standing still without being alert---

???: “I like you. So I’ll make a special exception for you.”

Yoritomo-sama was the first person that came to my mind when he touched me.

(My wish is----)

Premium End // Epilogue

#ikemen series #ikemen genjiden #ikemen genjiden yoritomo #ikemen series spoilers #ikemen series story event #cybird otome #cybird

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fairylightsandchai · 5 years ago

Text

The Internship - Part 3

A/N: Hello, again! Just popping in again to say that I know I don’t usually post fanfic here, but I really wanted to take part in @darkficsyouneveraskedfor‘s Pre-Code Challenge! Just ignore this if you don’t follow me for fanfiction. :) Also, I’ll be adding tags in a reblog.

Read Part 2 Here!

Pairings: Dark!Professor!Steve Rogers x Reader

As a side note, after writing this, I made a new blog dedicated to fanfic. If you wanna check out out, click here!

Summary: You are a student in the former-Captain America’s American History class, and you soon notice that Professor Rogers has been paying more than a professional amount of attention to you. But when he approaches you with an internship opportunity that’s too good to be true, how can you say no?

(A/N: This fic contains non-con elements, stalking, and manipulation, and this part will inclue rape, breeding kink, and kidnapping. It is also inspired by The Wild Party, a film from 1929. I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think.)

You lost track of time as you lay there, your body bruised, bloody, and spent. At one point you’d tried to roll over onto your back, but your ass stung so badly at the feel of the sheets against its abused flesh that you gave up on the effort. Your mind was reduced to white noise as it played over, again and again, what had just transpired.

Steve’s moans echoed in your ears, and even when you squeezed your eyes shut, you could still see his face as he came inside of you. Your pussy clenched at the memory and you let out a yelp of pain; you could still feel something trickling out of your used channel, but you knew that it was no longer his cum dripping out of you – it was blood.

The worst feeling, though, was the one of guilt that was rattling in your chest. At one point, you’d…enjoyed it. You’d wanted to find your own release with him, and even though you never achieved it, you still felt fresh tears start to fall as you were overcome with self-hatred.

Time passed by too quickly and too slowly all at once, because before you knew it, the door to your prison was once more being opened. You didn’t move when you heard Steve descending the stairs, but you could hear the rustle of shopping bags over the sound of his whistling. Once he’d set down his purchases, you heard him getting closer to you, but you still refused to so much as look his way when he sat down on the mattress next to you.

“You ok, doll?” His voice was soft, almost uncertain as he spoke to you. When you didn’t reply, he put his hand on your shoulder and turned you onto your side, but even then the only sound you made was a groan of pain.

You could see his face in this new position, and you almost felt angry at the look of concern on his face as his eyes skirted up and down your body.

“…I think I owe you an apology, hon,” he said after a long pause. “I didn’t mean to get so rough with you; even if you did deserve your punishment, that was still…well, it was intense for your first time.”

The small rebellious part of you wanted to snort at his words. Oh, you think? What gave it away, my bleeding ass or my bleeding pussy?

But you were too scared to voice those thoughts, now that you knew what this man was capable of.

With a sigh, Steve cupped your cheek in one hand, his eyes focused intently on yours.

“Let’s get you a bath, doll,” he murmured.

He stood up and leaned over the bed, maneuvering your body as if it weighed nothing as he picked you up. When his hand grazed your ass, you let out a yelp, clinging to the material of his shirt.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry,” he hurriedly apologized, adjusting you to lay more comfortably in his arms. “I know you’re sore; I got something at the store that should help with that.”

You blinked away the tears in your eyes as he started to walk towards the door on the opposite wall of the bed, and once he opened it you saw that it was a bathroom. Your eyes squinted against the glare coming off of the white tile walls and floor. In the corner, there was a large garden tub, and once Steve was standing in front of it, he gingerly set you down onto your feet.

“There you go, baby. You just stand there and wait for the tub to fill up, ok?”

You nodded shakily, keeping a close eye on him as he rolled up the sleeves of his button-up and started the water. You took the time to look around at the rest of your surroundings; next to the tub there was a modern-looking glass shower, and dotted around the room were framed drawings decorating the walls. The one above the toilet, you realized with sickening dread, was of the very bridge in Central Park where Steve had abducted you. Next to the mirror above the sink, there was one of a blue-jay singing as it perched on a branch. And above the bathtub was one of…

Your eyes widened when you realized it was a picture of you. Well, it was of your profile. In the drawing, you were sitting at a table, hunched over a book with your hair up in a messy bun. You gulped, looking between it and the man who was currently picking out a bath bomb from a glass case filled with them on a shelf next to the shower.

As if he felt you looking at him, he glanced at you over his shoulder and smiled when he saw you staring at the drawing.

“Do you like it?” he asked, finally settling on a pink bath bomb and starting to unwrap it. “I did that one about a week after I first saw you in the café on campus. I think it’s still one of my favorites I’ve done of you.”

“Th-there’s more?” you rasped. You couldn’t tell if your voice was scratching from the screaming you’d done earlier or from Steve strangling you in the park.

“Oh, yeah,” he chuckled. “I’ve tried to draw other things over the past couple of months, but nothing inspires me the way you do. Maybe I could get you to model for me sometime.” He shot you a wink with that last statement, but you just turned away, hugging yourself tightly.

When the tub was finally full, he set the bath bomb into it and walked towards you, but when your eyes widened and you started backing away from him, he stopped and sighed.

“Hon, you don’t have to be scared anymore. I love you, you know that, right?”

“Then why,” you whispered, squeezing your eyes shut as a tear escaped them, “did you hurt me?”

You jumped when Steve put his hands on your shoulders, resisting the urge to lean into him when he started massaging them gently.

“That isn’t far, doll. You were being difficult. And, I mean, you hurt me too, right? Biting me when all I wanted was a kiss? You needed to be punished; I think, deep down, you know that.”

You let out a sob, looking down at the floor and willing yourself to stop crying.

“Shh, baby, it’s ok,” Steve cooed, pulling you into a tight embrace, “I know. It’s never easy to take a punishment. But, hey.” He pulled back and tilted your face up to look at him. “I can be gentle, too. I can make you feel so good, if you let me. I can make it all better.

“C’mon, go ahead and get into the tub for me. I’ll show you.”

Not seeing any other option, you slowly walked over and lowered yourself into the tub, letting out a low hiss as the warm water hit your raw skin. Once you were fully settled, though, you couldn’t help but moan softly and let your tense muscles relax as it started soothing your wounds.

“Keep making noises like that and I might just have to join you in there,” Steve chuckled. Your eyes widened in a moment of panic, but you relaxed once more when you saw him making no moves to get in the tub with you.

No, all he did was roll his sleeves up a bit more and grab a cup from a shelf above you. Kneeling next to the tub, he gently guided you to let your head tilt back, and then the warm, soothing water was being poured over your scalp.

You closed your eyes, suddenly not caring about your nakedness in front of him, not feeling that same old spike of fear. You needed this; you needed a respite from the pain you’d just endured.

“That’s it, baby,” Steve murmured, using his nails to scratch lightly at your scalp as he started shampooing your hair. “See how nice it is when you just let me take care of you?”

You tried to tune him out as he kept murmuring soft words of encouragement, letting yourself zone out as he rinsed out your hair. You didn’t even protest when he took a sponge and started washing your body.

But when his hand started trailing lower and lower, you finally opened your eyes and grabbed onto his wrist.

“No,” you said, trying to pull his hand away from the apex of your tightly-clenched thighs. “Please, just…let me?”

Steve let out a sigh through his nose, but he relinquished the sponge to you. Nodding your thanks, you slowly opened your legs, wincing when you saw a thin ribbon of blood twist up through the water from your pussy.

“Oh, baby,” your captor sighed, moving his hands back to your shoulders to continue rubbing them. “I’m so sorry. I promise that once we start having sex more often, it won’t hurt as much. Soon, you’ll want it just as much as I do.”

With a stilted gasp you tore yourself away from him, clambering to the other side of the tub and pressing yourself against it. Steve let his head hang with disappointment, shaking it once before turning to look back up at you.

“Do you want another punishment?” he asked, the cherry-sweet tone completely gone from his voice.

Gulping, you shook your head, holding the sponge to your chest as it heaved up and down with your breathing.

“Then get back here and let me finish your bath,” he growled.

Turning away from him, you slowly, reluctantly moved back to your previous spot, gasping when you felt him tear the sponge out of your hands.

“There you go,” Steve sighed, sounding exacerbated. “I won’t warn you again, baby. Behave. I promise I’ll give you something special if you do.”

He didn’t talk anymore as he finished washing you, gesturing for you to stand up when you were all done. You hurriedly took the towel he offered you, wrapping it around yourself to provide some form of cover over your body.

“Not so fast, doll,” Steve said, turning you around to face the mirror. “Lift the towel up and bend over for me, ok?”

You stared back at him in the mirror as you complied, silently begging him not to do whatever it was he had in mind. He stepped out of the room for a moment, but when he came back he was still fully-clothed, a green bottle of aloe vera in his hand.

“This should help you feel better,” he explained, squeezing out a dollop of the gel and rubbing it into your skin.

You let out a soft sigh, grateful for the relief it brought; the stinging in your ass started to fade away as he massaged in the jelly, and when he was all done, he let you fix the towel around yourself once more.

“I’m gonna go clean up a little, now,” he told you, pushing some of your damp hair out of your face. “You do whatever you need to feel comfortable, ok? Dry your hair, put on some clothes if you really feel the need to, whatever will make you feel better.”

“Clothes?” you asked, looking around the bathroom to see if you’d missed any.

“The closet’s through the door the left of the bed when you walk out,” he instructed.

With that, he left, and once the door was finally closed you rushed to lock it behind him, even though you knew it would do nothing to stop him if he really wanted to get to you. You let yourself sink to the floor, finally letting the tears you’d been suppressing fall while trying to stay as silent as possible.

How had this happened? You’d seen all the warning signs; why hadn’t you heeded them? How would you escape this place – escape him?

You closed your eyes and pulled your knees up to your chin, trying to trample down the anxiety rapidly expanding in your chest. You were smart; you could get out of this. But you couldn’t let him get the best of you.

You tried to think back and analyze your situation from a clinical standpoint, devoid of emotion. There was only one door that led out of the room you were in, and you’d heard the jingle of keys when Steve was opening and closing it; you assumed that Steve kept those keys with him wherever he went, probably in his pocket.

So now it was a matter of getting the keys. You knew that you would only have one shot to get them; if you failed in any way in your escape attempts, Steve had said he would tie you to the bed and keep you there. If that happened, you could kiss your freedom goodbye.

Your first option was to try and be sneaky; you could wait until Steve fell asleep and try to steal them from his pocket. But with his super-hearing, you knew that the chances of that plan succeeding were slim to none. He would hear you with those keys from a mile away, and you wouldn’t be able to outrun him to the stairs.

Your next option was to try and convince him to let you out. The pros of that were that he, in his own words, ‘loved’ you. If you could convince him that you’d fallen for him, too, then maybe he would get more comfortable with you. You could ask him to take you on a date after a while, or say some bullshit about wanting him to meet your mom.

But you shrugged off that idea; it would take too much time, and you didn’t know if you could wait that long.

Your last option was to fight; you were tempted to just laugh that option off, but something in your memory gave you pause. You traced back your steps, remembering when Steve had first cut you loose from your ropes.

He’d used a pocketknife.

And then it dawned on you. Maybe the way out wasn’t through using just one of those plans. Maybe it was using a combination of all three.

“Hey, doll? You okay in there?”

You jolted, looking up to the door from your spot on the rug.

“U-um,” you called out, hurrying to your feet. “Yeah! Just… trying to figure out how to use the hairdryer!”

You searched beneath the sink, finding the device in question and plugging it in.

“You need any help with it?”

With trembling hands, you turned it on, praying that he wouldn’t come in.

“No, thanks! I got it.”

You didn’t even usually dry your hair, but you didn’t tell Steve that. You just used a comb while the hair dryer was running, watching your reflection’s movements.

You were going to get out of this place, even if it killed you.

When you were finished in the bathroom, you held onto your towel tightly and walked out into the bedroom. Steve was stripping the bed when you walked past, and you winced when you saw the large bloodstain on the white sheets you’d left behind.

Tearing your eyes away from the sight, you scurried into the closet and closed the door behind you. Looking around at the large space, your eyes fell to the teddy bear in the corner; it was the one Steve had won you at Coney Island.

You looked at it pleadingly, as if it could help you escape, but all it did was slump against the wall.

“At least I have one friend here,” you sighed to yourself sardonically.

Tossing your towel into the hamper by the door, you surveyed the room around you. Most of the closet was taken up by dresses. The majority of them had short poodle skirts and low necklines, but towards the back of the small room you found a rack of nightgowns. The longest one reached just to your knees, and its neck- and hemline were lined with lace. You would’ve preferred a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, but there were none to be found. The chest of drawers shoved up against the wall was filled only with lingerie. Your stomach had turned over when you saw the frilly, lacy undergarments, cringing to think of Steve picking them out for you.

When you’d pulled on the nightgown and the most modest pair of panties you could find (they were lace like the others, but the material was thick enough not to be see-through), you took a deep breath and opened the door.

The first thing you noticed were the fresh set of sheets covering the bed; these ones were a dove gray, the same color as your sheets back home. Steve was sitting in one of the armchairs by the bookshelves, a paperback novel in his hands. You just then noticed that there was a vase of fresh flowers sitting on one of the nightstands – daisies.

“Oh, hey, baby,” Steve said, standing up from his chair and walking over to you. You turned away when you saw how his eyes were raking up and down your body, focusing instead on the daisies, so pretty and innocent, like you used to be.

“Hey, you like those?” Steve asked when he saw what you were looking at. “I always liked daisies. They were my mom’s favorite flower.”

You flinched when you felt his hand on your cheek, but otherwise you remained motionless as his fingertips drifted down to the neckline of your gown.

“I knew you would look good in this,” he murmured. “Just like an angel.”

You cleared your throat, shifting on your feet.

“I-I’m tired,” you stammered. “What time is it?”

He glanced down at his watch, letting out a short whistle.

“Sheesh, it’s already 10 pm. No wonder you’re tired,” he remarked. Then, a sly smile stretched across his features. “Plus, I must’ve worn you out earlier.”

Your knuckles were white with how tight you were clenching your fists, and you felt a wave of nausea settle in your belly when his hand moved down further, palming at your breast.

“It wasn’t all bad, was it? You were practically begging me to make you cum there at the end. And don’t,” he murmured, pressing his lips against your ear, “forget what I told you after; good girls get to cum. And you’ve been very…very…good this evening.”

“Please, Steve,” you whispered, trying to push him away, “Please, can I just…go to bed?”

That sly smirk was still on his face as he nodded his head.

“Sure, baby. Go ahead and crawl into bed.”

You gulped as you did as he said, lifting up the sheets before laying down. His hand caught your wrist when you moved to cover yourself with the blankets, though, and you nearly screamed when he started crawling onto the mattress.

“Steve, please, I just want to sleep,” you begged. “Please; I’m so sore, I don’t want-“

He shushed you, pressing a finger to your lips while his other hand started creeping up your inner thigh, slowly pushing your nightgown up.

“Don’t worry, baby,” he assured you, pressing a soft peck to your lips. “We don’t have to make love again. But I do wanna show you, just like I promised. I wanna show you how good I can make you feel.”

You didn’t know what to feel more sickened by – the hand that was delicately peeling off your panties, or the fact that he’d called what he’d done to you ‘making love’. You wanted to kick him right in his perfect teeth, but then you reminded yourself of the half-formed plan you’d come up with in the bathroom. If it was going to work, you would have to make him believe he was winning you over.

At least, you told yourself that that was the reason why you let out a moan when his fingers grazed your clit. You bit your lip and looked up at the ceiling, feeling the heat of his stare as he slowly started spreading your wetness around your sensitive bud.

“You know, you’ve been acting like you don’t want me,” he murmured, his nose brushing against yours, “But your pussy sure is wet for me. How do you explain that, hm?”

You didn’t answer, simply allowing your eyes to close as he kissed you again. It was nothing like your first kiss; it had been bruising and possessive and punishing. But the way he was kissing you now was…pleasant. His tongue slowly dragged along the seam of your lips until they opened for him, and he didn’t rush the pace of it. No, he kissed you as if he was unwrapping a present, as if he was savoring every last bit of your mouth.

“I wanna show you how I wanted it to be,” he whispered. “Our first time together.”

He slowly started moving down your body, lifting your nightgown up around your hips as he dragged your panties all the way down your legs. Your ass stung with the slide of fabric against it, but when he pressed you down into the sheets and kissed the top of your mound, the discomfort started to fade.

You gasped when you felt his tongue slide against your folds, and you unconsciously spread your legs for him. You glanced down just in time to see his smirk widen before he delved in, sliding his tongue over your entrance and up to your clit.

“Fuck-“ you moaned, your back arching up against your will.

Your hand clapped down over your mouth, trying to muffle the noises that were escaping it as he started slowly lapping at your bud, but Steve heard them anyway. Your eyes were wide open, staring at the ceiling as you started losing yourself in the pleasure. No one had ever done this for you before, and Steve definitely knew what he was doing.

The sloppy sound of his tongue moving against you filled the air alongside the soft moans you couldn’t hold back, and each time your hips bucked up, each time you gasped as he moved his tongue at just the right angle, you heard him let out a growl.

When he slid in one of his fingers, he was met with no resistance, your pussy greedily sucking in the digit as he suckled at your clit. You glanced downwards and could see your wetness glistening within his beard, and for a reason you would feel ashamed about later, you felt yourself clench at the sight.

First one and then two more fingers were added, but the stretch was delicious, nothing like the burning feeling of his cock slamming into you earlier. Once more, you felt your orgasm rising up inside of you, but once more he pulled away at just the last second. You did nothing to contain your desperate wail at having your release taken away so cruelly, but when you looked up to see Steve unbuckling his belt, you frantically tried to push yourself away from him.

“Hey, none of that,” he snapped. “You were being so good. Just let me do this and I’ll let you cum.”

You whimpered, but when he lay between your legs again you forced yourself to stay still, not wanting to face yet another one of his brutal punishments. His mouth crashed onto yours, forcing you to taste yourself on his lips.

This time, when he entered you, you only felt a small twinge of pain. The moan that escaped your lips, though, came as a surprise to you both. The head of his cock was pushing against that spot so deep down inside of you, and you couldn’t help but moan again when he drew himself almost completely out of you and thrust back in, dragging his dick along that spot once more.

“Oh, baby,” he sighed, working his hips slowly, “you have no idea how good you feel…”

Your nails dug into his biceps when he started to move faster, rolling his hips fluidly and hitting that spot that made you see stars. You kept your eyes on the ceiling, trying to imagine that it was anybody else on top of you, that you were back home in your apartment instead of some basement. That you were free instead of trapped with this madman.

“I’ve thought about this for so long,” Steve whispered in your ear. “Fuck, I’ve wanted to feel you cum around me so bad-“

He clenched his teeth and let out a growl, all of a sudden starting to slam into you. Your eyes met his for a second as he rose up onto his knees, lifting your hips up to meet his thrusts as if you were a ragdoll.

“Take it, doll; take me nice and deep-“

“F-fuck-!” you cried up, feeling your orgasm starting to build up once again. Your hips were moving of their own accord, trying to rise up and chase your release as the pleasure inside of you crested.

Finally, finally, you felt the knot inside of you burst, and you heard yourself screaming Steve’s name as you came. You couldn’t tell if your eyes were closed or open for a moment; vaguely, you were aware of Steve letting out a howl as he came inside of you, but you were floating, not able to concentrate on anything except the aftershocks of pleasure coursing through you.

“Doll? Doll, you ok?”

You blinked, focusing on Steve’s face as he panted above you, and nodded your head. You let your arms fall back to your sides, feeling as if they weighed a ton each.

“Good,” he smiled. “Thought I’d knocked you out there for a second.” His lips were warm and wet when he kissed you, and you noticed that he was still very hard and very much still inside of you.

“Didn’t I tell you that I could make you feel good?” You gasped when you felt him start to thrust again, feeling a twinge of soreness as he bumped against your already-battered cervix. “Hm? Can you feel it now? How perfectly we fit together?”

You were too spent to anything but lay there as Steve took you again. For a moment, you felt as if you were going to pass out from exhaustion, but then his hand had roughly squeezed your cheeks, prompting your eyes to fly open.

“Eyes on me, hon,” he panted. “I wanna see you cum again; you’ve earned it.”

At first, you thought it would be impossible, but when you felt your lower half stirring once again, you gripped onto his shoulders again, looking up at him pleadingly.

“You getting close, baby?” he grunted. “Say it. Tell me how good it feels.”

You were silent, looking away in shame, but his hand smacked your hip, causing you to yelp and look back up at him.

“Say it,” he demanded.

“I-It feels so good,” you whispered.

“Are you gonna cum for me again?”

One of his fingers found its way to your clit, and your entire body jolted as if it had just been electrocuted.

“Y-yes!” you cried. “I-I’m gonna cum!”

“Then say it,” he growled. “Say, ‘Please, Steve, let me cum.’ C’mon, be a good girl and ask politely.”

Your back arched up off of the bed when his fingers quickened, and you rushed to comply with his order before you came again.

“P-please, Steve, let me cum,” you begged. “Please, please, I’m so close, I need-“

“I know what you need, baby,” he moaned. “I know what you need. Cum for me, doll. Cum for me-“

Before he could even finish his sentence, you were cumming. You felt your pussy clamp around him, and with a muffled, “O-oh, God-“, he was finding his release as well.

After he’d pulled out of you and rolled over onto his back, you didn’t move, shame starting to creep its way into your afterglow. You tried to tell yourself that it was all part of the plan, that you were only pretending to like what he was doing because you wanted him to trust you. But deep down, you knew that that was a lie. You’d never cum that hard in your life.

“You were so good, (Y/N),” Steve sighed, pulling you against his side. “I love you so much, doll. I wanna take such good care of you.”

You let your head fall onto his chest, too exhausted to fight your way over to the other side of the bed. He was still whispering sweet little things in your ear when you fell asleep, his quiet declarations of love becoming more and more disturbing as you drifted off.

The last thing you registered him saying before you went to sleep was truly terrifying, sending an icy spike of fear straight through your heart, and it echoed in your dreams while you tried to rest.

“You’ll make such a good mother.”

_________

The next day, you woke up alone, a note resting on the pillow beside you. Trying to ignore your aching muscles, you sat up and read it.

Good morning, beautiful. I’m out running a few errands, but I’ll be back around 9 with some breakfast.

I love you.

Rolling your eyes, you swung your legs over the side of the bed, letting out a groan of disgust when you felt his dried cum flaking off of your thighs. You waddled into the bathroom and, after struggling to figure out how his shower worked for a solid five minutes, you took a hurried shower, scrubbing your skin raw as if it would wash away his touches from last night.

By the time you finished, it was around 8:30, so you took your time getting dressed. None of the dresses were really your style; they looked vintage, like something from Steve’s time. Your stomach turned as you pulled on the first dress you saw that didn’t actively repel you; you hated playing along with his sick fantasies.

Your dress came down to your knees, and it was black with tiny little cherries embroidered across it; its skirt flared out at the hips, swishing gently with every step you took. When you finally exited the closet, you meandered over to his bookshelf, skimming the titles.

There was at least one copy of every book you owned back home; he must have gone into your apartment at some point.

“Sick freak,” you muttered to yourself.

You paused when you came to a book that didn’t look like all of the others; sliding it out of its place, you realized that it was a leather-bound sketchbook. You opened it to the first page and smiled at the drawing of the New York City skyline; even though you knew Steve had been the one to draw it, you couldn’t deny that it was a well-done sketch.

Your smile fell when you turned to the next page, though. It was a drawing of you, like the one Steve had hanging up in the bathroom. In this one, though, you were laying down in bed, wearing the oversized college sweater and pajama shorts you usually wore to bed. You gulped, flipping to the next page – another picture of you, laughing at something he hadn’t bothered drawing.

Feeling a wave of nausea rising up in your throat, you kept flipping the pages. You, you, you, you – they were all of you, save for two. The one of the skyline, and then one of a man. You thought that his face was familiar, but you couldn’t place where you’d seen him before.

He had long hair in the drawing, and his cheeks held a thin layer of stubble Steve had shaded in. Aside from his handsome features, the most striking thing about him was his metal arm. You frowned as you stared at the man’s face, certain that you’d seen him somewhere.

The door behind you opened suddenly, slashing through the silence in the room with the squealing of its rusted hinges. Steve walked in holding a brown paper bag and a large wooden box, giving you a radiant smile when he saw you.

“Hey, doll,” he said, setting the objects in his hands down onto the bed. “You look fantastic in that dress; I knew you would the moment I saw it in the store.”

You forced a smile to your face, trying to ignore the hammering in your heart; focus on the plan, you told yourself. Focus on the plan.

“Thank you,” you told him meekly.

He walked over to you and pressed a kiss to your cheek, his smile only growing when you didn’t move away. His eyes skirted down to the sketchbook still in your hands, and for a moment you were afraid that he would be upset with you for being nosy.

But he only took the book from your hands and studied the drawing of the man you’d been looking at.

“You checking out more of my artwork, baby?” he asked. “What do you think?”

“Um… I think it’s really good,” you said, forcing a strained smile to your lips. “You’re a really good artist.”

Steve seemed to glow under your praise, and he leaned down to press a soft, lingering kiss to your lips.

“Thank you, baby,” he smiled. “That means a lot coming from my best girl. Speaking of! I brought a present for you.”

He gestured for you to follow him to the bed, and you watched as he excitedly opened the box atop of it. Inside, there was a brand new Crosley record player, and beneath it were a stack of records.

“I have one of these at home, but I figured it would be nice for us to have some music while we’re here,” he explained. “Did you know that record players are getting popular again? A brand new record shop opened up close by; I guess history really does repeat itself, huh?”

You nodded, starting to flip through the records. You noticed that two of them were from your favorite band. There were several dedicated to older music, too - Frank Sinatra, Nat King Col, old movie soundtracks.

You looked up to see Steve watching you expectantly, and you gave him another weak smile.

“This is great, Steve,” you assured him. “I love it; thank you.”

“You’re welcome, baby doll,” he cooed. You felt his arms wrap around you from behind, and his breath was warm against your ear when he spoke. “I do have one condition, though.”

You gulped, fearing the worst when you felt his pelvis press against your ass.

“Wh-what’s that?”

“That you dance with me,” he said, “after I have it all plugged in.”

You nearly slumped with relief, and you nodded quickly.

“Sure, Steve. We can dance together if you want.”

Your captor’s face lit up, and he quickly let you go to start hooking up the machine. You sat on the bed as he worked, reading the back of the records to see what songs were on them. Every now and then, your eyes would look up to Steve, sliding down his body to his ass. Or, rather, to the shape of his keys where they rested in his back pocket.

“Alright, hon, I-“ Steve straightened up and caught you staring, his lips twisting up into a smirk when your eyes rushed to meet his. “Oh? See something you like?”

Your cheeks burned, and you emphatically shook your head no, but he still had a mischievous look on his face as he walked back over to you.

“There’ll be plenty of time for that, later,” he chided you. You opened your mouth to protest, but you gave up before you even began.

He flipped through the records until he found the one he was looking for, gesturing for you to follow him as he went to put it on the player. When he set the needle in place, the sound of a vintage big band flooded the air, and you recognized the tune as “It’s Been A Long, Long Time” by Harry James.

“This is my favorite song,” Steve explained, moving your hands to rest on his shoulders. You felt his huge palms rest on your hips as the two of you started swaying. “I knew from the second I saw you that I wanted to share it with you.”

You sighed, feeling your heart constrict. If things were different, if he hadn’t done all of the horrible things to you that he had, you would have melted upon hearing him say that.

“When did you first see me?” you suddenly asked. “You mentioned yesterday that, um… Well, you made it sound like you’ve known me longer than just two months.”

He smiled, looking almost sheepish for a second.

“I saw you for the first time back in April,” he confessed. “You were sitting in the café with Tina, and just… I’d always laughed off the idea of love at first sight, you know? I didn’t think it was possible. But you were so beautiful, so…perfect, and I just knew you were the one.”

You felt as if something had sucked all of the air out of your lungs. April. He’d been stalking you, he’d been obsessed with you, since April.

“Why,” you asked, “Why didn’t you just…talk to me? Why do all of this?”

Steve flinched, his eyes sparking with that same anger you’d seen yesterday, and you ducked your head, letting it rest against his chest.

“I heard you telling Tina you didn’t wanna date until you graduated,” he eventually admitted. “And I just knew I couldn’t wait that long. I… I waited too long one time; I wasn’t going to let it happen again.”

You had no idea who he was talking about, but you didn’t press the issue, just continuing to sway to the beat with Steve. When he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you flush against him, you let him, letting your hands trail down his back, towards the pocket where he kept his pocketknife.

Now isn’t the time, you reminded yourself, forcing your hands to stop at the small of his back. Soon. You just have to be patient.

__________

Five days went by, and if it wasn’t for the terror of cohabitating with a crazy person, you would’ve been bored with the routine you’d fallen into.

In the mornings, Steve would usually be gone. The only appliance in the small space was a minifridge, so he would usually stock up with food for the day in the mornings. While he was away, you would shower and dress, and when he came home you would let him give you a kiss.

After that, the two of you would read while sitting on the couch; he forced you to sit in his lap, but the books always served as a good distraction. In the afternoons, after lunch, he would ask you to model for him. At first, it didn’t bother you so much. The first day he drew you, you’d sat in one of his armchairs reading, ignoring him for the most part.

On the second day, he’d asked (or ordered, more like it) you to wear one of his shirts, leaving it open to show your lingerie underneath.

“I don’t feel comfortable doing that,” you’d said at first, desperate for him not to force you into any state of undress. “What if someone finds your sketchbook and sees?”

Steve had just smirked and pecked your cheek.

“Then they’ll know that you belong to me,” he’d answered. “Now go on, don’t be shy. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, doll.”

On the third day, he’d made you pose in lingerie he picked out – a pale pink, lacey bralette with matching panties. You’d been on the verge of tears the whole time he was drawing you, but in his final picture, you’d had a smile on your face. You’d wondered, then, if that’s what he always saw when you were sad. If he really was so crazy as to believe you were happy with him.

After dinner, he would put on the record player and lay with you on the couch while the two of you talked. Or, actually, he would talk. You would zone out most of the time, only muttering a quiet ‘uh-huh’ every now and then. Mostly he would talk about his childhood, sharing stories with you about his mother or Bucky. He’d even opened up about ‘the only woman he’d ever loved’ – a British agent named Peggy Carter.

You couldn’t help but wonder if he would have done the same things he was doing to you to her. You hoped not; you hoped that he’d only lost his mind after he’d been fighting for so many years in a time he never should’ve lived to see. But you would never know for sure.

The one thing in your routine you refused to get used to was the sex. Every night, and at least once during the day, he would fuck you. And the only time you never came was on the first night, when he’d stolen your virginity, your innocence, and, really, your life.

It was never as brutal as your first time had been. His touches would start off gentle, teasing your skin as he whispered filthy things into your ear. He, thankfully, never asked you to give him oral, but he sure seemed to love giving it to you. You’d lost count of how many surfaces he’d eaten you out on; on the second day, it had been the bathroom counter. On the third, it was the sofa and then one of the armchairs. Really, if it was horizontal and strong enough to support your weight, he’d made you cum atop it.

You still never got used to the stretch of his cock inside of you, though. Because, while nothing was as bad as that first night, the stretch always stung, always took your breath away. That initial pain never lasted for long, though. Soon enough, whether you liked it or not, you would be moaning for him. He would always, without fail, make you beg to cum, and you always, without fail, would. You hated it even as you loved it, but it was only when you noticed yourself craving his touch while he was away that you knew something had to give.

He was conditioning you to want him, but you would be damned if it would be that easy to break you.

On the fourth night, you stayed awake, waiting for his arm to loosen around you in his sleep. When it did, you waited even longer, not moving a muscle until you heard him start to snore. Holding your breath, you started wiggling away from him, lifting his arm off of you as you slid towards the bed.

When you were finally out of his grip, though, you heard him stir, turning onto his side to face you.

“M’where ya goin…” he mumbled, voice rough with sleep.

“Just to the bathroom,” you whispered. You squinted in the darkness; the only light in the room came from the glow of the alarm clock, but you could just make out the movement of him nodding before letting himself fall back against the pillows.

“Hurry back,” he slurred. “’s cold without you.”

You slid your feet onto the cold floor, dragging them with your steps, heading towards the pile of his clothes he’d left on the floor. When you felt your toe come in contact with them, you threw yourself onto the ground, making a gasp of mock-surprise.

“(Y/N)?” You saw Steve sit up onto his elbows, looking towards your prone form on the floor. “You ok, baby?”

“I’m fine,” you assured him. As you stood up, you fumbled, knowing this was your only chance. “Just tripped on your clothes; go back to sleep.”

He hummed and laid back down just as your fingers slipped into the pocket of his pants and found his pocketknife. You slipped it out of its pocket and stood up, wrapping your fist around it as you went into the bathroom.

You locked the door behind you and sat on the toilet, going about your business as you studied the weapon in your hands. It wasn’t large, but it was something; one more part of your plan was fulfilled.

You stowed it between some towels in the linen closet and washed your hands, stepping out of the bathroom to find Steve standing up, naked as the day he was born, holding his jeans in his hands.

“S-steve?” you asked, doing your best to calm the wild hammering in your heart. “What, um… What are you doing?”

He looked up at you, and for a moment you felt all of your hopes, all of your plans, torn into pieces. But when he smiled, you faltered, forcing a matching smile onto your lips. Maybe it wasn’t all over.

“They’re still here,” he said.

“Um… What’s still there?” you asked.

“The keys!” He walked over to you, cupping your cheek. “Sorry, I just… I thought maybe you would, uh…”

“Try to take them?” you finished. He smiled sheepishly and nodded, pecking your lips.

“I’m sorry, doll,” he sighed. “I should’ve trusted you. I just… I don’t want anything to happen to you. To us.”

You made yourself grin and cup his cheek.

“Steve, I… I don’t think I want to leave anymore,” you said. “I mean, I would like to leave this place, but… I promise I don’t want to leave you. I’m starting to think… Well, maybe it sounds silly, but I’m starting to think you might’ve been right. Maybe we were made for each other.”

Steve inhaled deeply through his nose, his lips parted as he searched your face of any signs of a lie. You carefully schooled your expression into one of honesty, meeting his eyes with a small smile and praying that you were a better actress than you’d previously thought in your life.

His eyes started watering, a tear slowly rolling down his face as he looked at you, and suddenly you were being lifted up into his arms. He pressed your body flush against his, kissing your shoulder with trembling lips.

“God, baby, I… That’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear you say. I love you so, so much,” he said. He sat you down, a broad grin parting his lips as he wiped away his tear. “Jeez, doll, I don’t think I’ve cried in years. What’re you doing to me?”

You blamed the small prick of guilt you felt on Stockholm Syndrome and pushed it aside, giving him the most earnest grin you could muster.

“Let’s go back to bed,” you suggested.

That night, Steve made love to you slowly, and you were able to stop acting as he pulled orgasm after orgasm out of you – first, with his fingers, then with his tongue, then with his cock. He left the lamp on so his eyes would never have to leave yours, and something in his blue eyes made it impossible for you to look away.

The next morning, you woke up before him, something that had never happened before. You sat up in bed, turning to your side so you could watch his sleeping face. He seemed peaceful; you never could have guessed that so much evil could reside underneath his handsome features.

But your sore muscles were a testament to all he had done to you, as were the finger-shaped bruises on your hips. With a sigh, you started to move away, but then his eyes opened and he smiled at you.

“Good morning, baby,” he murmured. “How are you feeling?”

�� “Sore,” you answered honestly, drawing a chuckle from him.

“But a good kind of sore, right?” He didn’t wait for your answer before standing up and walking over to the closet, pulling a cableknit sweater out of the drawer he’d reserved for himself and a pair of boxer briefs.

“I’m thinking breakfast burritos this morning,” he said as he dressed. “What do you think?”

“That’s fine,” you answered, standing up. You’d grown accustomed to him seeing you naked, though your skin still crawled anything you caught the hungry look he would get in his eyes. “Just hurry back to me, ok?”

Steve paused at this, arching an eyebrow at you.

“You…mean that?” he asked, and you smiled. Now was the time to sell the act.

“Yeah, Steve.” You leaned up on your tip-toes, pressing your lips to his for just a fraction of a second. “I mean it.”

He broke into an ear-to-ear grin and captured your lips once more.

“God, I love you,” he breathed before pecking your forehead. “I’ll be thirty minutes tops, ok?”

You nodded, giving him one last peck before going into the closet to pick out your clothes for the day. You threw on a pale blue dress, walking out into the main room right as the door at the top of the stairs clicked shut behind him.

It was time.

With your heart beating a mile a minute, you ran to the bathroom and retrieved the knife from its hiding spot, clicking open the blade and gripping it in one of your hands. As you walked out of the bathroom, your eyes swept over the space you’d been living in for the last half of the week, wondering if there was anything you should take with you. But there was no money to be found; you’d spent most of your mornings alone looking for anything that would help you.

But no, the only thing you would need was Steve’s keys. And, if your plan went accordingly, you would have those soon enough.

On shaky legs, you climbed the stairs, pressing yourself to the side of the wall as you waited. When Steve first walked in, he wouldn’t be able to see you where you were currently standing, a fact that you would be taking advantage of. You played out all of the possible scenarios in your head, heart beating frantically; you wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it on the other side of Brooklyn.

You didn’t allow yourself to relax as you stood there, keeping all of your muscles tight as a bowstring, your knuckles white from how hard you were gripping the knife. You can do this, your brain kept saying. You can do this.

You jolted when you heard his keys slide into the lock on the other side of the door. It was now or never.

As soon as he walked through the door, you were on him, plunging the knife as deep as you could into his chest.

“SHIT,” he wailed, reflexively throwing you off of him.

Your back hit the wall so hard that, when you landed on the ground, you were winded, but you still managed to scream when you felt Steve’s hands on your biceps. You thrashed as he tried to pick you up, slashing blindly with the knife until you saw blood covering your hands.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH-“ he screamed, punching you in the side as you slashed across his chest. You stumbled, knowing immediately that he’d at the very least bruised your ribs, but you were being fueled by adrenaline.

You ducked when he tried to grab you again, plunging the knife into the side of his thigh and pulling it out, washing as blood spurted out of the new wound. Steve went down onto one knee, clutching at the hole in his leg frantically.

You stumbled to the side when his other arm swung out at you, trying to get past him to the door. A hand wrapped around your wrist, though, jerking you back towards him so hard that the knife went flying out of your hand, clattering down the stairs.

“I’m gonna make you pay for this,” he was growling. Despite the menace of his words, though, you could see his face getting paler by the second, and when you kicked him in the shoulder as hard as you could, he lost his grip on you.

For a second, you felt as if the world was moving in slow motion. As soon as he lost his hold on you, you spun to the side, running out of the still-open door. Gripping the handle with both hands, you wrenched it shut behind you, just barely catching the look of surprise on Steve’s face as he tried in vain to reach the door in time.

You thanked the heavens that his keys were still in the lock, and with shaking hands you hurried to lock him inside. As soon as it was done, you watched as the handle started jiggling wildly from the inside, and for a second you only stood there in shock, staring down at the blood on your hands.

But then you heard an animalistic yell from its other side, and you stumbled back when you heard the distinct booming of his fist pounding against the door.

“LET ME OUT,” he screamed, his voice more high-pitched and desperate than you’d ever heard it before. “LET ME OUT YOU FUCKING BITCH!”

The metal groaned when he hit it again, and you didn’t want to stick around to see if he would actually manage to break it down. Turning on your heel, you started walking down further into what you now recognized as a house. You were in a hallway with photographs lining the walls, and you gasped when you realized who they were of – you.

Every single picture was one of you – in your bed, in a classroom, in a library. They were all of you. You hurried past them as the banging got more and more insistent, heading straight for the front door. You only paused when you saw a wallet resting on the side table beside it, hesitating only for a moment before grabbing it.

“I’LL FIND Y-“ you heard Steve start to shout, but his voice was cut off as you walked out the door, slamming it shut behind you.

You blinked in the sudden rush of sunlight; you were on in the city. The distant shapes of skyscrapers rose up behind a row of brownstones, and when you saw a taxi driving by, you stumbled down the steps of the home behind you and waved at it frantically.

When it paused on the side of the road, you didn’t hesitate to climb into the backseat despite the protests of its driver.

“Watch it, lady,” he cried. “Is that- What the fuck are you doing covered in blood? You better not get it on my seats, or I’ll-“

“I need you to take me to Buffalo,” you interrupted him.

The cabbie laughed, and you could see his eyes roll in the rearview mirror.

“Yeah, right, girlie,” he chuckled. “I don’t go out of the city.”

You rooted around in Steve’s wallet, pulling out a handful of hundred dollar bills and holding them out to him.

“I can pay you $500 now, and I’ll give you $500 more once we get there.”

It only took the cab driver a second before he put the car in drive and started heading down the street, rolling down the partition to accept the cash.

“Jeez, lady, you must be in some kind of trouble,” he sighed. You leaned your head back, the gravity of what you’d just done weighing heavily on your shoulders.

“Not anymore,” you replied. “Not anymore.”

#steve rogers #dark!steve rogers #professor!steve rogers #dark!steve x reader #non-con #kidnapping #yandere #steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers x reader

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