#now riz on the other hand i can see all of these applying to

[satisfactuality]

"oh adaine would be the last of the bad kids to forgive the rat grinders" "adaine would hold a grudge against oisin" "this is why adaine would never help redeem the rat grinders"

all of these ignore the infinitely funnier option that adaine immediately forgives them for everything and just hates them unrelated to their plot to end the world

[bullet-prooflove]

Five Years Gone: Neron 'Creeper' Vargas x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @est1887 @anime-weeb-4-life @creativitybeware @mortal--soul @spaghettificationandpretzels @redpoodlern @lexondeck @librarian1002 @thanossexual @justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @adaydreamaway08 @wnbweasley @skyesthebomb

Brothers!Series:

Brothers - Neron's brother threatens his sobriety.

Wide Awake - Neron regrets his decision.

Out of Sight - Neron asks you a favour.

Slow Burn - Neron and you watch it burn.

Neron lets you sleep in; you usually need the rest after you’ve worked the convention circuit. It’s been three days of solid tattooing, of late nights and early mornings and that’s not including the travel to and from San Diego, the packing and unpacking of your equipment.

Currently you’re splayed out across the bed, tangled up in his sheets. You’re wearing his black wifebeater from last night and boy boxers that hug your ass just right. Your tattoos are on display, that beautiful artwork etched into your skin.

As he leans in the bedroom doorway, his coffee mug in his hand he can’t help but think how lucky he is. His world was dark, barren before he met you and now it’s a sea of colour.

There’s a rap on his front door and he frowns because it’s six in the morning and everyone else he knows it getting ready for work or sleeping. The last person he expects to see is his brother Mateo. He hasn’t spoken to the other man since he’d kicked him out for bringing coke into his home. Something he had vehemently denied until Neron had held up the vial.

His face is a bloody mask, he clutches his ribs as he practically falls through Neron’s door, spilling into the hallway. His palm comes to rest on the cream wall leaving a crimson handprint in its wake.

It’s as Neron cleans up Mateo in the kitchen that the story begins to unfold. Mateo’s in deep with his dealer, he owes 10k after his product got jacked last week and Salvadore Ortiz isn’t feeling forgiving. Neron gets the impression that this isn’t the first time that Mateo’s disappointed the drug lord. If he doesn’t pay up though it’ll be his last.

“I can’t help you.” He tells his brother as he applies the butterfly stitches to the cuts above his brow.

He isn’t lying, the last time he’d fallen off the wagon he’d blew through every single dollar of his savings. He’s just finished paying off Taza and Riz for his last two stints in rehab.

“I can.”

His heart fucking sinks when he lifts his head and sees you standing in the doorway. He doesn’t want you involved in this side of his life, cleaning up Mateo’s messes, having your sobriety challenged.

It comes with conditions; you tell Mateo as you pull on one of Neron’s hoodies and tie your hair back so you can retrieve the money from the safe at the tattoo shop. As soon as he’s paid his dealer, he checks himself into rehab. You’ll set it up but he has to meet you back here later in the day, you’ll walk him in yourself.

In that moment Neron doesn’t think he could love you more, because your compassion, it isn’t just reserved for him, it extends to his fucked-up family as well. As he watches his brother depart with the money, Neron thinks he might just do it this time. That Mateo will finally get himself clear of all the shit he’s involved in, and they can be brothers again.

He hopes for it as the two of you sit in his living room that night, watching the clock and waiting for Mateo to show. By the time midnight comes around Neron knows it’s over, that his brother has taken your money and used it to go on a bender.

“I’m sorry.” He tells you, rubbing his hands over his exhausted features. “He took you money, your trust…”

“We both know how hard it is,” You remind him as you sit down alongside of him. “You have to want to get clean and Mateo, he just doesn’t.”

The worst part is he knows that you did this for him, to give him back some connection to the family that he’s lost through addiction. His parents, his brother, himself, every single one of them has been tainted with it. The guilt cripples him. It eats away at his soul as he lies beside you that night, because you’re so wonderful and pure and he’s poison. He’s the toxin that’s bleeding into your life and you don’t even realise it.

It's the next day that he gets a visit from the police and the news, it devastates him. They found Mateo’s body in a motel outside of Santo Padre, a needle still in his arm. An O.D they tell him.

When he identifies his brother, he feels that numbness creeping in because Neron realises for the first time in his life he’s completely alone. His family is gone, eradicated by the illness that’s plagued them for generations.

The next night he finds himself sitting in a bar near the motel where Mateo died. He orders a vodka, watching as the clear liquid swirls around the glass before he throws his head back and drains it completely.

Five years of sobriety…

Gone, just like that.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[arcanamusica]

My Song, Your Song: Arcanamusica Main Story Final Chapter (#0-1 to #0-3)

Final Chapter: 0-1

Inside a dark room, the light of a candle faintly glows.

Looking at the cards that seemed to be suspended in the air before them, Arcanamusica’s guide, Suu, narrowed their eyes.

Each card in place was set to its reverse position. If they were turned to the other side, what kind of image would it show? What would it represent? Even now, the answer was still unclear.

“Singers, guided by the tarot…”

Those words stood alone and echoed throughout the dark room. Suddenly, as if replying to Suu, some of the cards began to glow. 

There were 8 of them. 

Suu huffed out a small laugh.

“So, the ones who were chosen…are them.”

Final Chapter 0-2

Beep.

Hearing the sound of a notification, Shizuka Kawawa stopped typing on his keyboard and looked at his phone.

It was some time after 8 P.M., and almost all of the workers in the office had gone home.

Kawawa had been working as a development engineer for an IT venture company since he graduated college, and although the environment itself was questionable and borderline unethical…there were some changes that he saw happening recently.

It was unclear whether the company’s policies changed, or if the higher-ups had a say, but even Kawawa’s company that seemed to be stuck 30 years in the past was starting to make differences and pay attention to its employees and their work-life balance.

There were still a few people that worked the same hours, but with the introduction of a flexible scheduling system, it seemed like more people were coming in and leaving work earlier. 

However, this change only applied to some departments and specific workers.

Unfortunately, for Kawawa, his workload still seemed to be unaffected by these changes. 

Even so, he didn’t have to work overnight or on holidays as much as he used to, so it was better than what he had to endure before.

The notification on Kawawa’s smartphone was from Arcanamusica.

Arcanamusica was a streaming application in which Kawawa was anonymously singing and releasing music under the name “RiZ”.

When he uploaded his own songs, he would often receive “bets” (which are similar to “likes”) and comments from other users. Kawawa prided himself on being a (self proclaimed) semi-popular singer on Arcanamusica. Thanks to the bets and comments he collected from his popularity status, Kawawa was slowly gaining “Arcana Points”...even though he wasn’t really sure what they did, or what they even were.

The notification this time was for new comments that had been posted on one of his older songs, “Reverse Spinner”.

Even though it had been almost half a year since he uploaded the song, there were still new people finding it and commenting on it. Even receiving one comment was enough to brighten his day, and though it was a little bit at a time, he was slowly starting to become more confident in himself and his abilities. 

“What are you giggling about over there, Kawawa? Is it your girlfriend?”

As he looked up to see the source of the smooth-talker that had brought him back to reality, Kawawa spotted his junior a year younger than him in the sales department watching him lightheartedly. Kawawa quickly flipped his smartphone face-down on the desk and scoffed.

“As if. I can’t even imagine having a love life, thanks to some manager who runs my department.”

His junior laughed. “Well, Kawawa, I think you’re a great leader too. I always feel like I can rely on you, too…Y’know…So, uh…”

Hearing those words, Kawawa felt his stomach drop.

In the first place, it was already suspicious that a sales representative would be in Kawawa’s office at this hour. He turned to face him with a pained look on his face, and he was met with his junior apologetically clasping his hands together and bowing his head. 

Ah, so that’s why. It’s my shitty manager again.

“I’m so sorry…the situation suddenly changed! We’re…gonna have to move the deadline up sooner than expected…”

“Huh!? But we’re already working ahead of schedule!”

“I know…I know, but still…It’s a special client, so even the manager couldn’t push back against them…”

“He wouldn’t even if he could…That geezer…”

“Oh, but! But! We’re still going to add the extra cost of development for the inconvenience.”

“I would hope so?!”

One of Kawawa’s superiors was the sales manager, who was well-known for his success at the company. Although he was able to work with clients effectively, he tried way too hard to look good to everyone, which meant that he often dumped all of his work on the development department. The probability of Kawawa’s team being the unlucky ones to receive this work was higher than he would like it to be, and was one of the reasons that this so-called progressive work environment was actually hiding a few labor law violations.

Whenever Kawawa’s manager and direct supervisor at work couldn’t get a hold of him, the sales manager would call his phone directly, and at one point, Kawawa was seriously considering blocking his contact for good.

Even though the changes for this client weren’t as extreme as he expected them to be, he still would have to work overtime a couple of days to finish it. Even though he planned to take the weekend off, he would have to go in at least one day to catch up to the current situation.

Hearing Kawawa’s heavy sigh, his junior bowed his head even further to the ground.

“I’m really sorry…! Um, I also already spoke to the manager…”

That makes one of us.

As Kawawa listened to his junior and looked at the documents, he realized this new deadline was probably decided pretty recently. The manager was out on “business-related matters” today and tomorrow, so it’s not a big surprise for the sales team to have already discussed it and be the bearer of bad news. 

Kawawa sighed again. Now I’ll have to reschedule, ask for people to come in to help with the workload, and notify the rest of the team first thing tomorrow morning…I wonder if we can get the SES team to help us…? Well, that’s something I have to discuss with my manager…

At Kawawa’s company, the development department was divided up into different teams, but they usually worked together as one team for most things.

However, as his higher-ups began to quit the company one after another, Kawawa found himself in the unfortunate position of being his team’s leader.

This was why when new troubles arose and deadlines approached, almost all of the responsibility was on Kawawa to sort things out. 

“I’ve been doing everyone else’s job the entire day…And I just got started on my own work…”

This was also the reason that despite the new changes in the workplace that had been introduced, Kawawa’s overtime was not decreasing any time soon.

Since he became team leader a few months ago, Kawawa was busy all day holding and coordinating meetings, or following up with clients and team members, and as a result, he couldn’t find time to do his own job. For that reason, he only was able to handle his own work after everyone else got to go home for the day. 

“Kawawa, you’re truly amazing…! What can’t you do? You’re really our ace engineer!”

“Don’t get carried away, man.”

“But I mean it! Kawawa, even though you’re the youngest one here, aren’t you, like, the most successful employee? All of us always talk about how awesome you are.”

“Most successful, huh…”

It was true that at this small-sized venture company, the average worker was relatively young and into their 30s, but even so, none of the other team leaders were Kawawa’s age. However, Kawawa didn’t particularly want to be a team leader in the first place, so he didn’t exactly know how to handle praise directed toward his achievements at the company. It was just an additional title for his convenience. There weren’t any benefits or promotions for the position.

Kawawa realized that thinking about it any more would only run him in circles, so it would be better to focus on the issue at hand instead.

But it really feels like I’ll just be working myself to death here… I wonder if it would be different if I was at a bigger company. 

As Kawawa thought more about it, the image of a certain large building that he visited half a year ago popped into his head. 

“Hey, by the way…Have you ever heard of the company 'Wonderful Nest’?”

Wonderful Nest. The company that developed Arcanamusica, the app where Kawawa uploaded his songs. 

Even though it seemed to be in a similar field to his own, Kawawa never heard about it until he became a part of Arcanamusica…The building that housed the headquarters that he visited before was pretty high-class, and they seemed a lot better off than Kawawa’s company. 

“Wonderful Nest?”

“Yeah. They do some kind of app development stuff.”

“Hm…Ah, yeah! Maybe I’ve heard of it before! But, I, uh…don’t really know what they actually do…”

“I don’t know too much about it either. Even though they’re app developers, it’s still pretty different from what we do, and since we’re not exactly in direct competition, there’s no way to know more about them…”

“Yeah…”

“But it’s a pretty new company. Even our manager didn’t seem to know about it.”

If their sales manager who had already built a name for himself in the industry didn’t know about it, there was a pretty good chance it really was a new company.

But then again, they aren’t our competitors…I guess it makes sense. Our company doesn’t really handle any streaming software.

After he started becoming involved with Arcanamusica and visited Wonderful Nest’s headquarters, Kawawa decided to look up the company, but the only associated product that he could find was Arcanamusica. This could mean that it was the only thing that they developed in-office, but even then, Arcanamusica was a closed application. It just suddenly appeared on Kawawa’s phone one day, which was strange enough, but of course, he had checked to see if it was suspicious. It was likely that the reason he had it was because he downloaded it and signed up half-asleep after pulling an all-nighter. A lot of other users seemed to register by an invitation link from people who already had the app.

It really is weird, the more I think about it…but maybe they just have several smaller private projects. 

When he was called to Wonderful Nest’s headquarters, Kawawa ended up playing a strange game with four other people that were also singers on the app. Because of that, he was able to get new songs to sing and upload, and he could accumulate a greater amount of Arcana Points, but…Even after all of that, he couldn't understand what Wonderful Nest’s goal was, or why he was participating in it. The uploads on Arcanamusica all seemed like they were free to stream and unmonetized, and there weren’t any ads when using it, either…the only other possibility is that they might have sponsors.

That doesn’t even touch upon the fact that the songs were supposed to be “special” for each singer…where did that come from?

“But, why did you suddenly ask about Wonderful Nest….? Kawawa, you’re not leaving our company, are you..!?”

As Kawawa started to find himself lost in thought, his junior’s panicked voice brought him back down to earth. 

“No, no, don’t worry. I was just…curious because of someone I know. That’s all.”

“Are you sure?! Kawawa, if you leave, we are so screwed, so please have mercy on us!!”

“Well, I’m down for a career change whenever, though.”

As Kawawa replied with a half-joke, his junior shrieked in fear. It was nice to be needed, after all. But still, he couldn’t help but wonder if this was what he was meant to do.

This place, this reality…Do I really want to keep doing this? Is it really what I want to do for the rest of my life?

…As if I have a choice.

No matter what I do, I know that in the end, this is a reality that I can’t just overcome.

It’s always been that way, and always will be. When I was a kid, now, and forever. 

Final Chapter 0-3

“Ahhh….I’m beat..”

“It’s been a while again, hasn’t it? Has it been a month already?”

“I finally finished up one of the issues that’s been plaguing me at work… It was seriously rough.”

It was finally the weekend after Kawawa and his team managed to finish their work on that rough deadline in question. Kawawa decided to visit his go-to bar for the first time in a while.

“I’m sorry for the change of plans, Bartender.”

“What’s with the apology? It’s alright. This kind of thing happens all the time. We’re flexible.”

Bar Rhythm. It was a bar with a small stage occupied by live singers and musical performances several nights of the week. The concept was an establishment that provided music, drinks, and food in a relaxed environment. Kawawa also sang at the bar on some weekends throughout the month, when the timing was right. He was supposed to perform on the weekend that he got swamped at work, but because of the circumstances, there was no choice but to cancel it. 

Going to the bar today allowed him to stop in, say hi, and most importantly, apologize.

The bar owner is an old acquaintance of Kawawa, and although they have a cordial relationship, that’s all there was to it. Even among close friends, Kawawa believed that it was necessary to be professional and polite.

Today, a young female jazz pianist took the stage, and as he watched and listened to the performance, Kawawa was drinking his usual lemon sour. Bar Rhythm was classy, so it probably would’ve been better to order a more sophisticated drink. However, for Kawawa, who usually only drank Chu-hai out of a can, it was difficult to adjust to such a different environment, even if he was familiar with the bar and its owner. 

That guy…Legge. That kind of guy would know exactly the type of drink to order in a place like this.

Kawawa was suddenly reminded of someone that he had met when Wonderful Nest gathered the singers of Arcanamusica together. When they all played the game together, the man who sat next to Kawawa seemed to be a little older, but he was very calm, collected, and worked as a lawyer. It seemed like he couldn’t understand why he was a singer, even though he seemed to be perfect. 

Even now, when Kawawa thought back on the self-deprecating remarks about his job that he made in a daze, along with the argument the two got into, he still felt a little embarrassed.

Ikkun was there too…He definitely looks like the mature type of adult to suit a bar. 

Dark Palace…I wonder if he would like it here. He looks kinda young, so maybe he would go somewhere more flashy like a club?

As for Shibukichi…Nah…I can’t even imagine him in a place like this…

One by one, Kawawa remembered the singers that he had met. Even though all of them had only met each other all together once, it could have been because the time they spent was so surreal, or their characters were so memorable, but…even now, half a year later, he would still think about them from time to time. They couldn’t have been more different from one another. They all lived in different places, had different jobs, ages, different personalities and types.

But the one thing that brought them together was their one common interest:

Singing.

Even though Kawawa thought that all of the people he had met that day were a little bit odd, deep down, he felt as though somehow, somewhere, the 5 of them shared something special together.

“...Shizuka. Your phone is ringing.”

Kawawa had spaced out, and didn’t even notice the phone going off in his hand until the bartender pointed it out to him.

Looking down at the screen and seeing the name “Izumi Kawawa” on his caller ID, Kawawa hesitated for a moment, but tapped the red button to reject the call.

“Isn’t that your mother? You’re not going to answer it?”

The soft sound of the piano from the woman on stage would surely be heard over a phone call. As Kawawa thought about it, he slowly shook his head.

“It’s fine. I already know what she was calling about anyway.”

“Ah, really? What’s it about?”

“It’s about a memorial service for my grandmother. This is the third year anniversary of her death, so my mom wants me to come back and visit.”

“Why don’t you just go home?”

“It depends on my work schedule, though. We don’t even have any days off for Obon. And even if I did go home, I would have to…”

“Hm?”

“...Nah. It’s nothing.”

For some reason, I almost found myself saying something childish.

It might have been because I was tired, or it might have been because I was a little drunk.

Kawawa already stopped by and apologized, so he was thinking about leaving after finishing his drink, when he heard the bartender mutter something quietly to himself.

“You… still haven’t told me. About that song.”

“...”

Kawawa pretended like he didn’t hear those softly spoken words. Luckily for him, the stage performance became louder as the piano was accompanied by a saxophone, and the audience began to clap along as the energy throughout the bar rose. That gave him enough of an excuse to act like he wasn’t able to hear. 

His phone vibrated again, and wondering if it was a message from his mother that was pestering him to respond again, Kawawa looked down at the screen. Instead, he saw the name Tsuruya Ichou, with a short message attached. 

Shizuka. Next week, do you have some free time to meet?

There’s something that I’d like to give you…

(To be continued)...

[legoshi-plz]

Spanking Headcanons (NSFW 18+)

A/N: Just something that randomly came to mind. Also I’ve seen the many heartwarming messages you all have sent as well as the requests and I can’t promise when I’ll get to the requests but I’ll try to be better about answering messages! 😭 Thank you all for being so patient with me, I hardly really use tumblr anymore so sometimes I forget to check on this blog and asks start to pile up but I still see them and they make me go 🥺🥺😭😭🥰🥰🥰

Pairing: Louis x Reader, Legoshi x Reader, Riz x Reader, Juno x Reader, Oguma x Reader

Reader is Gender Neutral!

Warning: Smut, NSFW 18+. Consensual Spanking, etc.

///////////

Louis:

- So it’s well known that Louis can be a bit sporadic at times, especially when it comes to his mood. Sometimes things do get him irrationally angry and though he’d never hit you, he does use spanking as a form of communication when he’s upset with you.

- Sits in his large armchair, pinching the bridge of his nose as he calls you over. Pats his thighs and you already know where this is heading, assuming the position.

- His spanks start off moderate, even a little stiff. Small sting, while he finds his words, telling you how you’ve upset him, how your disobedience drove him to this. You bite your lip and remain silent except for short responses (can’t see this Louis as the type to be comfortable with you calling him ‘sir’ or ‘daddy’, so just a direct ‘yes’, ‘no’ etc. is fine with him.), trying to hide your anticipation of what’s next to come and the arousal bubbling in the lower pit of your abdomen.

- Once he’s said everything he has to say, then that’s when his hands begin to.... wander.

- His hand dips between your thighs and he feels how aroused you are instantly. His other hand is under your shirt, slowly rolling your sensitive nipple between his fingers, just enough to pebble them but not enough pressure to really get you off.

- He’ll have you trembling in his laps between spanks of increasing ferocity until he feels you’re wound up enough and then he just... stops.

- “That’s enough, you’re dismissed,” his own voice is strained and you can tell from the hard member pressing into your stomach that you aren’t the only one depraved.

- But when he stops, that’s when the real ‘punishment’ begins. Leaves you unbelievably horny and doesn’t fuck you until he feels you truly deserve it (usually the next day, his resolve isn’t that strong.)

Legoshi:

- Only spanks you because you like it. Found out you liked it by surprise. He was coming up behind you in the kitchen of your shared apartment (established couple AU) and landed a quick smack to your ass while he was half asleep. The half-gasp, half-moan you let out right after had him at full attention immediately.

- Will land a random smack on your ass while the two of you are cuddled up watching TV because he likes the way you jump slightly then snuggle into him more.

- Will also take full advantage of the access he has when you ride him and alternates between heavy taps to gripping your cheeks between his huge hands.

- He mostly does it to get your attention or, in the case of sex, for you to keep your eyes on him. Would never slap your ass hard enough to hurt but he is enamored by the response it garners from you and likes to explore that.

Riz:

- Shows your ass zero mercy.

- He’s naturally an ass man so he’s always on yours in some shape or form, whether that’s making you sit in his lap, massaging it while you lounge on top of him, or grinding into it in the early hours of the morning with his sleepy erection.

- Has a thing for the 69 position because he loves being about to finger you with your ass right in his face. Sometimes will even refuse to let you go down on him because he wants your full attention on the pleasure he’s giving you.

- Doesn’t spank for punishment unless you’re being completely unreasonable, and even then he only uses it as an excuse to get you over his lap because a few smacks in, he’s going straight to pleasuring you, seeing how many times he can get you off before you’re apologizing and begging him to stop.

- However, the few slaps he does get in HURT. He’s quite heavy handed and doesn’t know his own strength sometimes. You really have to tell him to slow down sometimes because he’s not always aware of it.

Juno:

- Completely into spanking when it comes to role play.

- Juno is a very thorough actress and she loves applying her skills to the bedroom. Naughty schoolgirl, sexy nurse, horny police officer, naive princess, you name it, you two have tried it in the bedroom.

- Juno is usually the one being spanked because she’s much better at staying in character and carrying the scene than you are however that doesn’t mean she doesn’t make you work for it. She’s pretty strong naturally so her pain tolerance is out of this world and she really likes you to push limits.

- That being said, she’s always up for being versatile and turning you into a blabbering mess over her knee. However, she’s so naturally good at doming that she always usually makes quick work of you. Though you don’t last long, she doesn’t mind. She’s more excited for the aftercare anyway!

Oguma:

- The King of Spanking. Something about this man just exudes power and he carries that same aura into the bedroom (or any place you two do it.)

- Very much the ‘stop and fuck you here right here, right now’ type. The two of you are in the kitchen? He’s pushing you against the counter, kicking your legs apart, and smacking your ass for you to take off your clothes. At a public venue? He’s dragging you to the nearest bathroom and fucking you within an inch of your life. But his favorite way to put you in your place is in his office.

- Will (dramatically) sweep everything off his desk and bend you over the cold mahogany wood, your ass exposed to him and gently brushing against his sizable erection.

- “Don’t think you can sweet talk your way out of this one.” Spanks you methodically just between the point of pain and pleasure. Makes you count each slap. Fingers your entrance mercilessly between spanks to rile you up but eventually allows you to cum.

- Once you’re all fucked out on his desk, he lifts you up and flips you over on your back. His member is hard as ever and leaking precum untouched. Proceeds to fuck you so profoundly, he nearly breaks his desk. Again.

[creacherkeeper]

i just thought about adaine&aelwyn pacific rim au so take that as well (if not those two, i'll take any of the others fh babes for pacific rim too :D)

the thing is, they don't get along

they've never gotten along

and why would they? their parents pitted them against each other since childhood. it made aelwyn study harder, strive more, accomplish, overcome, win, and all it ever did for adaine was make her rebel. while aelwyn was getting her phd in engineering and applied sciences, adaine was training. sometimes she felt like she'd been born for war. as a small child, she couldn't have guessed what it would be war with. but she knew who she was. she knew why her parents hated her. why they always favored the science-minded and, in their eyes, delicate aelwyn. she wasn't the one staging battles with her stuffed animals

adaine was the youngest to ever be accepted as a pilot. she was sure her parents saw it on the news, but they didn't bother congratulating her. she hadn't heard from her family since emancipating herself at 16, and that was fine. she had a new family now. and she had a jaeger

she gets sent to hong kong, because they all get sent to hong kong. everyone who's left. adaine wonders if she found her place right as the floor started collapsing beneath her. but it's fine. she'll fight until she's the last one standing

well, that is, if she can find a co-pilot

she's not as strong as a lot of the others. but they aren't as smart as her. they don't have her eye for strategy, for tactics, for precise strikes executed to perfection. they assign her the most light and nimble jaeger they have. and she waits. and she tests. and she spars.

no one seems to be a match

she has a good night of getting wasted with her friends, and then a good night of crying in her bunk, because she knows she's done. the whole program is falling apart anyway. it's not like they'll find anyone in time for her to ever see the inside of the machine

the next morning, hungover to hell and back, eyes puffy and exhausted, she makes eye contact with her sister over a tray of dry cereal and toast

it's awkward. it's not like they talked about being stationed together. adaine hadn't even heard from her sister in years. she wonders if this is aguefort's doing, bringing them both to base like this. she wouldn't put it past him. on the other hand, they needed new jaegers. and aelwyn knew how to build them

they avoid each other, at first. what else are they supposed to do? they did nothing but torment each other as children, and now here they are. all grown up. mostly. as much as they maybe ever will be, if the world is coming to an end

it lasts for a few weeks. things are tense. then aelwyn is assigned to make upgrades to adaine's jaeger, since, you know, she's being pulled from the project to be replaced with someone who's actually drift compatible. adaine won't leave the cockpit. they scream, a little. or a lot, to anyone else you asked. but it feels like it needed to happen. they've barely done more than nod in the hallways. it's a release of tension. they can be in the same room now, at least

adaine has one last chance to say goodbye to the machine she never got to pilot. aelwyn comes to offer some consolation, though it's with the utmost hesitation, something adaine doesn't remember her ever showing before. she snagged the last dessert from the cafeteria. they split it on the cockpit floor

"i spend all my time designing these machines. but i don't even know what they feel like"

"can i show you?"

so, adaine might be drift compatible, it turns out. with one person in particular. it's incredibly unfortunate that it's with a scientist, not a pilot. it's even more unfortunate that it's her sister

they fight about that, too, after they come out of the drift, while their minds are no longer melded and everything doesn't feel quite so achingly close. aelwyn was pulling away from her the second they linked. hiding something. adaine wanted to know what. so, they fight. they yell. they storm away

aguefort calls them to his office the next morning saying they have to drift again. just as a test. he reminds them about security cameras and computers and all the other shit that they had forgotten about over a split tiramisu

aelwyn refuses. she's not a pilot. she never wanted to be. and what would their parents say? like, okay, yes, of course she knows how they work. she knows everything about jaegers. she could pilot it, theoretically. but she won't. and especially not with her sister

two kaiju come through the breach

riz and fabian nearly go down. their jaeger literally crawls home. electrical scars run over the skin and muscles of their arms.

fig nearly destroys the base in frustration when their medic, kristen, says they can't pilot again. not so soon. maybe not ever. jawbone is getting older, no matter how much tracker would deny it in front of him. and gorgug and zelda can't handle multiple kaiju by themselves. no one could

ayda goes to aelwyn the next morning, scientist to scientist, pilot to ... something. and says she has to try. she has to drift again. she has to fight. there may not be a world left to save if she doesn't

they stand across from each other in the cockpit. they know there's no holding back, this time. no secrets. nothing left unsaid. and they drift

adaine sees shame, she sees self-hatred, she sees fear - such absolute, overwhelming fear. aelwyn sees anger, and in the face of it, resolve. she feels, then pulls away from, then lets herself feel, again, just for a moment, love in spite of that. it's hard to hide from, the enormity of adaine's love

they drift. and they know they can do it, if they need to. they can fight. they can win

the next day, the storm oracle is released into the ocean. they have a kaiju to fight, and even more to prove. and they do

[utilitycaster]

Your fav character from each class in all the actual plays you’ve watched?

THE BEST QUESTION (if hard). I’m only counting regular PCs here; see the end for some guest/NPC/one-shot mentions. As you can see I love basically all characters but I do have my favorites.

Barbarian: there is a high potential, now that Ashley is back for good, that Yasha will win this next year but for now Gorgug and his sweet awkwardness and confused attempts to find his dad wins. (some other good barbarians: Grog, Beryl from Relics and Rarities who was a. kind of a stoner and b. an absolute delight and c. a cool depiction of path of the ancestral guardian, and Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, sweet crepe loving failure)

Bard: I love Fig, but I have to go Scanlan. You know that art piece of the Vecna battle that’s overlaid with the All Work No Play “what would the worst character be” line? Yeah. From “I’m snoring after having sex” to “I was saving it for Vax”. You just can’t beat that. (some other good bards: Annabella from Relics and Rarities, Misty from Dimension 20)

Cleric: this is probably the hardest category (shout out to a lot of clerics. Jester, Kingston, and Kristen are tied for second place) but I think I have to go with Caduceus. I love how much he sees of everyone else and how little we know of him. I love how not-so-secretly judgemental he is. I love his bone flute. I love that he’s quietly trying to save his dying home, and perhaps find family that might be dead. Someone hug him for me. (I would like to recognize Pike and Merle of course, as well as Efink Murderdeath here, and while I’m only 7 episodes in I think Zolf is already my favorite of RQG. )

Druid: Keyleth. I feel like TAZ is at a disadvantage because they’re so early on in Graduation, but also I love the Firbolg but I am not sure a druid will ever surpass Keyleth, with all her messy awkwardness and genuine desire to do good at any cost. (shout out to Ricky Huckster for being a really unique take on the druid, Lillith from Escape from the Bloodkeep for being a great wine mom, and to Kugrash who is currently ripping my heart out)

Fighter: I’m surprising myself here but the recent developments with Fabian Seacaster have put him in the forefront, I think because his story is still ongoing and because I’m a sucker for an arrogant jock suddenly confronting mortality and failure. I do still love Percival De Rolo a lot though. (shout out to Magnus Burnsides who is good at everything, and Veros the O.G. Himbo from Relics and Rarities)

Monk: Beau. This is another case of like, I love Sofia Bicicleta too, but Marisha Ray has some kind of genius for playing female characters that really tap into like, things that many women I think feel but don’t know how to express (at least, I, a woman, feel these things and don’t know how to express them). Beau is such a complicated abrasive character who feels things deeply, and who has genuinely tried and succeeded in changing. She’s so dynamic and wonderful and I love her to bits.

Paladin: Vax. I wrote a whole piece about my experience of listening to CR campaign 1 episode 57 that I never published or posted. I think there’s something deeply profound and beautiful about sticking to an oath that you didn’t ever think you’d choose, and to a promise you fell into. (also, spoilers but Fjord’s going to be my choice for Warlock so I cover that there even though one of my favorite things about him is his switch to Paladin). (shout out, of course, to Ricky Matsui)

Ranger: Vex. Due to some valid and some invalid complaints about the ranger class few people play it, which is a shame because the revised ranger options are pretty great (Horizon Walker is amazing, I say as an admitted fan of weird planar shit) and because like, Aragorn was my favorite LOTR character. But yeah, everything I’ve said about Keyleth and Beau applies to Vex, the D&D character I think I relate most to despite my irl stats not matching hers at all (I do not have 17 Charisma). The imposter syndrome, the need to appear that everything is under control, the sibling loyalty, the stubbornness, the quiet leadership - it’s all so perfect and so unique and I love her very much. (Sokhbarr was a fun take though)

Rogue: put Vax as Paladin so I could nominate Riz as my favorite rogue (and again, I love Nott and enjoy what I’ve seen of Argo, and to be fair, Sasha seems very good as well) but I think the inquisitive subclass is so cool and Riz has such a wonderful arc. Also, goblin with gun is great but goblin high schooler with gun is straight up genius.

Sorcerer: a very rare class, tbh, with Pete getting it by default. He is indeed a fascinating character though, and tying his sorcery into the mythology of the world is a pretty brilliant DM move. (I also am very into Hamid thus far, not in the least because I love halflings)

Warlock: Fjord. I liked Fjord from the start, and even when he was being an ass during the pirate arc found him relatable. I think it might be my background as a bard player that makes me love this disaster who survived for years on just a high constitution and being really good at talking and playing roles; I also love someone who isn’t the greatest leader but falls into it, and someone with control issues working through it (see also: Vex, Percy) And finally, I don’t know if Travis was telling the truth about him being lawful good but he genuinely does want to make things better for people and he takes responsibility very seriously. (obviously, I also really liked Leland, and while I think of both Fig and Sofia as primarily of their main classes of bard and monk, they are cool as warlocks. I get why Emily Axford keeps gunning for Hexblade).

Wizard: Caleb. Given all the other sources of magic it’s always fascinating to see why someone becomes a wizard specifically, and I also like how complex Caleb is - not just the trauma, though that’s part, but the humor and the versatility. (Adaine was a close runner-up though, and Taako was my favorite of THB but is a little too goofy to be a favorite).

Artificer: I mean, obviously Tary.

NPCs and guests, with less commentary:

Barbarian: gonna go with Lionel the True Polymorphed Duck here.

Bard: Hazel Copperpot, she of the 1930s radio accent

Cleric: again very difficult, but then again, not so difficult. Lieve’tel was great.

Druid: Nila, the sweet and calming presence in our hour of need.

Fighter: oh god I don’t know if I can choose between Keg, bisexual dwarven disaster, and Brian David Gilbert’s Hargis, awkward goliath theater kid.

Monk: Ferriwen Breeze, who I do hope shows up again because she was my favorite Darrington Brigade character and I really love Genasi; also Expositor Dairon, natch.

Paladin: few people play paladins as guests which is weird. I do like Kerrek, and I do like Arkhan, but like, Kima, clearly.

Ranger: Sandralynn Faeth, hands down. A wonderful NPC.

Rogue:  I do love Cathilda, and I do love Twiggy, but I laughed about the Owlbear for the entire Darrington Brigade one shot.

Sorcerer: I mean...it has to be Gilmore, right? Calianna is great but no one can beat Gilmore.

Warlock: Zahra, who also, incidentally, is the only non-Hexblade Warlock who’s shown up. I mean hexblade is objectively amazing but Zahra is too.

Wizard: there have been many wizard NPCs across games and it was a very difficult choice but who else is graceful, unendingly kind and patient, and reliable in all situations? Allura Vyesoren is the wizard you wish your wizard could be. Yussa and Essek and Lup and Arthur Aguefort and Barry and Lyra and Ranier and far more wizard NPCs and guests are all wonderful in their own ways but like, did you think you could come for Matt Mercer’s self insert? you could not.

.

[ad1thi]

tagged by: @lovelyirony (im sorry it took me this long to get to it). 

1. Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

Naina Talwar, YJHD: i don’t think you can find a character that more closely remembers me, except that i have an extremely sharp tongue and my shyness is constantly warring with my desire to always speak up. Bookish ✅ well meaning but extremely strict parents ✅ didn’t have a lot of friends at school ✅ was largely known for her marks ✅ desperate desire to break out of her monotonous life and go on an adventure ✅ 

Stiles Stilinski, Teen Wolf: my life is a constant ping-pong between being Stiles and wanting to f*** Stiles. extremely sarcastic ✅ intelligent but rarely applies themselves to the task at hand ✅ suffers from imposter syndrome ✅ would die for their friends ✅ is attracted to people who could snap them in half ✅

Ten, Doctor Who: i was having this discussion with someone recently, but - apart my love for David Tennant - the reason Ten resonated with me so much was because of how much i understood him; the way he never forgave himself and constantly carried around this massive looming self hatred but still tried to absolve him, knowing full well that he could never forgive himself. also he cries all the time and bitch me too tf

Rosa Diaz, Brooklyn 99: okay so i get that this might surprise some people but hear me out: she thrives off maintaining an aloof, terrifying exterior, has a kink for being mysterious and will do damn near anything to main an illusionary peace with her parents to the point that she was more willing to let her parents think she was dating Jake than she was ready to admit that she was bisexual, but the minute her parents revealed their internalised biphobia she got so incensed that she broke that peace just to stand up for her truth and what she thought was right

2. Aesthetic

iced coffee, oversized clothes, black nail-polish and the smell of nicotine. (does that count as an aesthetic?) 

3. Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?)

Mamma Mia

4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

i don’t know i have terrible memory. im quite vain tho, i love superficial compliments about my appearance. 

5. How many times have you been in love?

once.

6. Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?

my lack of self-esteem could never

7. Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

the Lion King trilogy is one that always comes to mind when i get asked questions along this vein

8. Favorite flower or plant?

i have hay-fever me and flowers don’t vibe

9. What’s your favorite holiday?

i love the vibe that Dussehra has, but im also extremely fond of Diwali. 

10. Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

this series that i discovered today, the palak paneer that i ate for dinner today, and a video edit of my future husband 

11. What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

Where You From by Riz Ahmed (a must listen for anyone in the south asian diaspora). and Halsey’s entire discography 

12. Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

my bestfriend, LRP sometimes sends me voice-notes of her singing. that makes me feel at peace

13. What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

i study Law

14. This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

an oversized hoodie and ratty shorts

15. What is a quote you live by?

i’ve never rly put much stock in other people’s words, so you’ll find this answer will change everytime someone asks me for it. i do particularly like if you’re going through hell - keep going. 

16. Name the funniest playlist name you have.

all of my playlists are emojis rn but i used to have one called “ ” when i was younger

17. Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

Young Volcano

18. What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

at the end of the day, you never rly needed anybody but yourself. those people who you relied on, who you thought you needed like you need air or water?? they’re not here anymore but guess what - you’re still standing. you’re still here. 

19. Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

my maternal grandmother

20. What’s a secret dream of yours?

i don’t know if you can count it as secret but i want to have that sort of life-affirming love that they write about

//

i don’t know how many people have done this because i rly left it to the last minute so: @iam93percentstardust, @rxmanoff, @spiderrpcrker, @omg-just-peachy, @firebrands , @starkrogerrs (i rly hope im not tagging anyone who’s already done this)

[fairytellerxo]

8 Ball

@vicmackeybullshxt

Requested winning your favorite Mayans keys in pool & then someone else requested some EZ. So I combined them and I hope you don’t mind but it’s cute and it’s some potential angst when we find out who’s her dad.

I don’t know if your askbox is open but winning your favorite Mayan’s motorcycle keys at pool just popped into my head and I thought it was cute.

-

Bellatrix smirked, the pool cue resting lazily against her as she watched EZ attempt to line up the perfect shot. They had played three games and each time she had beat him. So on the final game, EZ upped the stakes, betting his motorcycle keys while she tossed in the keys to her Jeep. She had no intentions of losing, she was going to win his keys. “Gotta take your shot, Ezekiel.”

He glanced up and smirked at her. “I am going to take my shot. Just let me get it perfect.” He lowered his gaze before looking back up to see the woman applying a layer of clear gloss to her already glossy lips. “I’m taking that long hug?”

“Yeah,” she slipped the gloss into her pocket before leaning forward and smiling. “I’m going to win, unless you’ve been hustling me this entire time.”

EZ shook his head slowly before he took his shot, watching the ball roll towards the pocket before stopping just short. “No, no.”

She smiled before lining up her shot and taking it. “So, when I sink this eight ball, it’s time to hand over those keys.” She smiled as she watched the ball fall into the pocket. “Lovely.” She picked up the sets of keys and shrugged. “No rematch.”

He moved to her and looked around before looking down at her. “I cannot lose my bike… I kind of need it for this whole thing.” He gestured round him before touching his kutte. “What do I gotta do to win my keys back?”

Bellatrix bit her bottom lip before looking up at him. “You can finally get over your ex and take me on an actual date. Other than that, I’m keeping the keys. It’s your move.”

“You know what?” He smiled at her before he laced his fingers through hers. “If that’s the way I’m gonna get my keys back, then it’s a deal.”

She rolled her eyes and smirked. “I don’t even believe you right now but I’ll take the date. You’ll get your keys back afterwards.” She shrugged as she took her hand back. “I might be young but I am not dumb.” She held up his keys. “Plus you’ve probably got a spare and that’s why you’re not tripping off of it.”

EZ shook his head as he followed after the brunette grabbing her arm and stopping her. “It’s not about you being dumb. I do want my keys back. I’m also down for a date.”

“We’ll see,” She smiled at him. “You know where to find me and how to reach me if you’re serious about it.” She tossed the keys at him. “You’re so fucking stupid to be so fucking smart.” She shook her head slowly. “I’ll see you around.”

..

EZ sat at the bar, his eyes watching the room as the party raged on. It had been two months since he had last seen Bellatrix and now that she was laughing and dancing he couldn’t help but wonder why he didn’t just take her up on the offer for a date. Instead he had managed to become a henchman for his ex, watch a man die and then frame it like it was a suicide.

It all weighed on him but it didn’t weigh on him enough to have him stall with guilt. Instead he chalked it up to just being part of this new life. He stood up and moved towards her. “Bella can we talk?”

Bellatrix looked at him before shaking her head. “I’ve got nothing to say to you EZ.” She turned away from him. “Keep it to yourself.”

He followed her outside before he cleared his throat. “Okay, I admit, two months is a fucking long time to just ignore you but I am bad at this shit. I had one girlfriend my entire life and then went to jail and got out and she was married with a kid. It was an adjustment to everything.”

She sighed before she turned around. “You cannot fuck over women who want to try to have something with you because your girlfriend from high school is now married. You probably ended it because you were in jail so you have no right to want something with her now and have you ever thought that she’s just using you now? You’re hired muscle.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “She shoots you a text and then you disappear for hours. Come on, how dumb are you?”

“Pretty dumb but how did you even know?” He looked at her carefully. “Are you stalking me?”

“No but Angel is loud enough without me having to eavesdrop plus, you ignored plenty of her texts when we would play pool.” She looked away. “Don’t be stupid EZ, be smart about it. It’ll be your head if this all backfired. You think Miguel wouldn’t do something?”

EZ nodded slowly. “Okay but I get a chance right? I do want to get to know you better. All I know is that you’re observant and that you like to kick my ass in pool.”

Bellatrix sighed. “I don’t know, I’m kind of being courted by Creeper right now, so you might have to wait in line.” She chuckled. “Kidding, yeah, we can hang out. I’m sure my dad won’t mind you and I hanging out.”

He stared at her for a moment. “Why would your dad be involved? You tell him everything?”

She shook her head slowly and smiled. “No, stupid. My dad is Riz. Well step dad.”

EZ looked around, spotting Riz watching him and Bellatrix. “Well, fuck me. I am stupid.”

[utterlyhopeful-fics]

The Bet~ Part II

@kscarlett1 was 100% my motivation for this chapter! I think there might be more to this story and an SOA crossover and I’m geekin y’all. Enjoy! 

The Bet~ Part I

***************************************************************

Me llamo Obispo. Yo soy el presidente. Welcome amiga nuevo: My name is Bishop. I’m the president. Welcome new friend. 

Me nombre es Y/N. Mucho gusto: My name is Y/N. Nice to meet you.

Igualmente: Likewise

Days idled in to two aching weeks of radio silence and it was quickly beginning to chip away at Bishop leaving him restless, jumpy, and downright miserable. The checkered tile felt cool beneath his bare feet as sat by his lonesome in their kitchen twisting the label off the presently empty beer bottle. 

His sigh echoed deafeningly noisy almost like all the peacefulness had left when Y/N did. All of her belongings still remained in their rightful home as he wondered just how long this charade could last.

Bishop sluggishly walked to the fridge, grabbing another beer before reaching for the half empty tequila bottle, he kept stashed underneath the sink. Emergency purposes only, how properly fitting. He staggered back to his chair before collapsing into his original spot, the spot he intended to waste the day in while hopefully drowning his many sorrows.

His lids closed as his brain traveled back to the fateful day that would eventually fuck up everything.

*Flashback- One Year Ago*

Riz dealt another hand of Poker as Coco, Angel, and Bishop rallied up to the table all intent on winning. After the not so pleasant meeting with Miguel earlier in the afternoon, all members were tittering on the edge, silenced into submission after their latest threat. Miguel fucking Galindo would guarantee the death of their club, but most certainly to their integrity or at least what was left of it.

Everyone glanced at the cards displayed to its designated owner before Angel spoke up; “This only applies to one moron at this table, and yes, I’m talkin bout you Coco; no fucking card counting you prick.”

Coco counter smirked unwilling to confirm nor deny his brother’s suspicions.

“Whatever you say, amigo.”

The game continued smoothly for the next hour before Riz finally braved the sentence no one was willing to speak.

“How the fuck we gonna get out of this one, Pres?”  

Bishop exhaled; unsure of how to comfort his brothers and pep their spirits, but the words never found him.

“No more talk of work for the rest of the evening. Got it?”

All nodded in agreement going forth with the festivities surrounding them. Bishop skimmed the crowded room. The bass of the music pulsated around him, the sound of women’s laughter filled the air as the party started to get into full swing.

Until he noticed the stunning figure sitting by her lonesome at the disheveled bar; her body swaying to the current beat, her emerald eyes closed with a blissful smile painted upon her lips. She looked like heaven; beautiful to admire and way out of his league, but he loved a challenge.

“Say boys…does anybody know the broad sitting at the bar?”

All eyes guided towards the stranger’s direction admiring the beauty thankfully clueless to their gawking. Suddenly Coco’s cleared his voice, his attention focused on the current cards in his hand; “Her name’s Y/N. She used to be an Old Lady for the Sons.”

“That doesn’t explain why she’s here tonight in Mayans territory now does it?” Bishop’s tolerance began to flounder, his impatience clearly nearing the finish line.

“She’s works at Santo Padre Hospital as the newest Chief of Cardio…or so I’ve heard.”

Angel’s eyebrow raised slightly staring at Coco quizzically; “How the fuck do you know all this shit? You stalking this girl, bro?”

Coco leaned closer lowering his tone trapping the curious men beside him.

“Get this. She just so happens to be Vicki’s niece hence why she is here tonight.”

“Jesus, she’s one fine piece of ass.”

Bishop coldly stared at Angel’s now frightened expression; “If I’ve taught you one thing in all the years of being graced with my company, it is always to treat a lady with respect. Chicks dig the gentlemen, I’m tellin you.”

Angel was alit with drunken charm as the next sentence tumbled from his lips; “Said the man who got laid last when…?”

“I’d be real careful if I were your squirt. Tonight, is not the night to be checky with me, do I make myself clear?”

Luckily Angel had the brain power to know when to halt his shenanigans and silently complied with his president’s request.

Enough with this shit. Bishop threw his remaining cards down overwhelmed and abruptly out of breath.

“I’m going outside for some fresh air. Deal me out, I’m done boys.”

As Bishop made his way towards the exit, he braved a glance over his shoulder towards Y/N surprisingly locking eyes before she looked back at the woman now occupying the empty seat beside her.

Bishop reached the porch in no time, scurrying for his pack of lights only to be disappointed to find empty pockets and quarters. His head tilted back, eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he tiredly groaned, rubbing his hands over his face in defeat.

Before his pity became all-consuming, Bishop’s neck hair stood on edge alerting him of someone else’s presence as he heard a quiet ‘Hey’. He turned to follow the melodic voice, she was even more gorgeous up close.

“I think I can be of assistance.” Y/N combed her blonde hair behind her ears revealing a cigarette tucked away and handed it to the handsome man sitting alone.

“You don’t strike me as a smoker but today has definitely not been my day.”

“I’m not. It was kinda forced upon her, hence the hiding spot.” She chuckled at her own joke accidentally releasing a snort. She reached to cover her mouth embarrassed at the sound her body created, but Bishop Losa lit up like a kid on Christmas morning.

“Me llamo Obispo. Yo soy el presidente. Welcome amiga nuevo.”

“Me nombre es Y/N. Mucho gusto.”

“Igualmente. What brings you to this part of town, bonita?”

“Ah, already with the names. I thought you would be different…less unpredictable.”

“Lo siento mucho. I must admit it was even a little sleazy for me too. I guarantee you it won’t happen again, maybe.”

“All is forgiven. Um, long story short. My marriage was in shambles, my home didn’t feel like home any longer, and this was a badass job opportunity. I’m a doctor, heart doctor to be exact.”

“How did I get so lucky to be in the company of a genius, especially one as interesting as yourself.”

“Some people are just blessed, ya know?” He had never seen a smile as lovely as Y/N’s but he knew it could make a rainy day entertaining.

Bishop took a long drag of his almost finished cigarette embracing the finality of the ticklish burn in his throat. Y/N was too busy gazing at the stars momentarily distracting her. Bishop decided to break their bubble of peace; “I better be heading back inside. Gotta keep these guys in line.”  

“You have a rowdy crew on your hands but a loyal bunch. Lucky you.”

“It was really nice meeting you. Hopefully, I’ll see you around?”

“Who knows what the future has in store? The odds might be switching in your favor.”

She extended her hand to shake his just as lightening simmered between them slowly before becoming electrifying. Simultaneously, they both pulled away finding each other’s eyes. Bishop broke eye contact first and began the minor trek back inside, his nerves tingling as he shook his fingers. What the hell just happened?

“Hasta luego.”

“Ciao.”

He dragged his feet back to his chair greeting the guys once more. Smoke engulfed the room as the alcohol resumed to flow.

Riz pipped up; “Change of heart, boss?”

“Shut the hell up and deal the damn cards.”

Coco interjected, snickering; “Someone’s feathers seem to be ruffled.”

“How bout we make things a little more stimulating.”

Bishop gave into his whims, “What did you have in mind, ya idiot?”

“While you were absent, we were discussing and came up with a great idea. A bet.”

“I’ll give in. Explain.”

Angel perked up resting his elbows on the table reveling in temporary power. “Well you did say to get our minds off of work and what better way than to initiate the new girl.”

Riz butted his way into the conversation; “Since you my dear friend seems the most in need of female interaction, your name easily came up. Seduce Y/N, reel her in. Hook, line, and sinker.”

She seemed like a sweet enough girl and he was obviously lacking female companionship at the moment, so he blindly accepted.

“Easy, what’s my timeline?”

“Three months max.” All men shook their heads in agreement.

“Winner gets forty-eight hours of uninterrupted ‘vacation’.”

Any time away from the club was always a blessing in disguise and he was in dire need of a break from his twisted reality.

“You assholes are going down.”

Bish dared one more glimpse at the mysterious woman who enraptured his attention. Concocting his plan would take time since she wasn’t like one of the usual girls that hung around. She was a goddamn surgeon! Y/N felt a pair of eyes watching her as she glanced at her newly found friend, a faint smirk alighting her features.

Her belly tightened with renewed butterflies as she looked away from Mr. President himself not quite ready to admit the blush tinging her cheeks was all due to the inexplicably fascinating man, she had the pleasure of stumbling upon. Y/N exhaled; finally, optimistic of her new journey in Santo Padre and away from her past life.

 ----------

Requests open! 

[talonted]

I can’t really believe that it’s been a year since the last round up, but here we are! If you want to see what made it into 2017’s favourites post you can read it HERE (spoiler, there may be some repeats as we all know I’m a creature of habit!) But let’s crack on with my 2018 favourites!

This has been a strange year for me, both in general and when it comes to beauty. I started my own business at the start of the year which I’m incredibly proud of but it has also meant that blogging has taken a bit of a backseat for me. I’m hoping to find a better balance in 2019 as I do miss writing and sharing my discoveries with you all, thank you to everyone who has stuck around through the quieter times – forget make up, YOU’RE my true 2018 favourites!

As with last year, I’ve tried to list every make up product in order of application rather than in order of preference. Some of these are products I’ve used for years, some are very new discoveries, but for me all of them are worthy of the title of ‘best of 2018’.

Once you’ve finished reading, please do head to the comments to let me know what your 2018 favourites were so I can check them out!

PRIMER

Winner – Sofina Primavista Long Keep Base

Highly commended – The Ordinary High Adherence Silicone Primer

I am an oily gal so a primer is always necessary in my make up routine. If you’re not a primer convert, you can read more about primers and why I recommend them to everyone HERE: they’re a wonderful way to help your make up go on smoother, last longer, hydrate the skin, add glow… so many benefits! I stocked up on the Primavista primer in Japan at the beginning of the year as it’s wonderfully light but keeps my foundation in place all day – however it’s ridiculously expensive to buy here so I apologise for including it (and haven’t linked it for that reason), but I couldn’t lie and say I didn’t use it! If you want something more affordable and accessible, The Ordinary primer featured in last year’s round up and I still really like it, but all the Deciem founder drama put me off using it if I’m honest.

FOUNDATION

Winner – Make Up Forever Matte Velvet Skin*

Highly commended – L’Oreal Age Perfect

The MUFE foundation is probably the newest entry into my 2018 favourites, having only launched towards the end of the year, but it is BRILLIANT: it’s matte and lasts really well on my oily skin, but doesn’t cling to my dry patches; it looks glowy without being greasy; and it doesn’t irritate my sensitive skin. The L’Oreal Age Perfect foundation is very similar to one of my all-time favourites (L’Oreal True Match) but is a little bit more glowy and natural-looking so I tend to swing between those two when picking my base. I’ve reviewed it in full HERE.

  CONCEALER

Winner – Sephora High Coverage Gel Concealer

Highly commended – IT Cosmetics Bye Bye Undereye*

This Sephora concealer is another non-mover in my favourites. Unfortunately Sephora have now stopped shipping to the UK so I’m loathe to include this product but it really is my most used concealer. It’s high coverage but light enough for the delicate under eye area and affordable (if you’re near a Sephora!)  The IT Cosmetics concealer is pricey but believe me when I say you need to use a blob the size of a grain of rice for both eyes, so it’ll last ages. This is the one I use when I need to bring out the big guns (e.g. red wine hangover…)

POWDER

Winner – Bourjois Poudre De Riz De Java loose powder

Highly commended – Vichy Dermablend loose powder

I can’t count how many years I’ve been using this Bourjois powder, but it just ticks all the boxes for me. Very finely milled, with a slight sparkle to reflect the light (ideal for under-eyes), and doesn’t annoy my eyes – it does contain fragrance but it’s never annoyed my skin. If you’re very sensitive to fragrance, you may prefer the Dermablend powder, which is a great standard setting powder with a matte, sparkle-free finish. It’s more pricey, but it’s a huge pot.

  BROWS

Winner – Maybelline Brow Precise Micro Pencil

Highly commended – GOSH Shape & Fill

I love a strong brow and am quite picky about the products I use, especially as brow products for blondes are tricky to get right… many are either too warm or too ashy. The Maybelline brow pencil reminds me a lot of the Sephora version …. which I originally bought as an Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz dupe! All three have a fine nib and give a very natural, but long-lasting, finish. The GOSH brow product has a wedge-shaped pencil on one end and a powder on the other end (which I don’t use). If you like a stronger brow, I think the latter will be a better fit for you.

  EYESHADOW

Winner – Urban Decay Naked Heat*

Highly commended – Anastasia Beverly Hills Modern Renaissance*

This category was tricky as I would say my Urban Decay Naked Heat palette was definitely my most used again this year, but I fell hard for the ABH Modern Renaissance palette (but didn’t use it nearly as much). Naked Heat featured in last year’s favourites post, which shows just how great it is. If you’re a fan of warm eyeshadows (or have blue/green eyes) then this will be so far up your street. Modern Renaissance is quite intense, with a high proportion of darker pink-toned shades so it’s definitely not for the faint hearted, but I do a little sigh every time I open it!

BLUSHER

Winner – Glossier Cloud Paints (P.S. that’s an affiliate link that will give you 10% off your order and me a credit on my account for sending you! Win-win!)

Highly commended – CanMake Cream Cheek Tint

Another new discovery for me (but not a new product by any means!) are the Glossier Cloud Paints. You can read my post about them HERE, but since then I’ve bought two more shades – I now have Puff (pale pink), Dusk (nude brown), and Beam (pale peach). These are cream liquid blushers that are lightweight on the skin and quite subtle so you can build them up really nicely. Following on my cream blusher obsession this year, I stocked up on CanMake cream blushers in Japan. I first discovered these on my first Japan trip a few years ago and they are brilliant – very easy to wear and ridiculously affordable (about £4 so please don’t pay the £30 some Amazon sellers are asking for!)

HIGHLIGHTER

Winner – Glossier Haloscope ‘Quartz’

Highly commended – Maybelline Master Strobing Stick Highlighter

I can’t believe that I avoided Glossier for so long as I didn’t buy into the subtle, natural make up look they embody. What a fool! The Haloscope highlighter is flipping dreamy: it gives a beautiful sheen to the skin without making you look greasy or like a glitter ball. I’ve been using it non-stop since it arrived. Before Haloscope converted me, I used the Maybelline stick highlighter. It’s a great stand-in if you are looking for a high-street option. I apply both with my fingertips to avoid disturbing the make up underneath and don’t think I’ll ever go back to powder highlighter!

MASCARA

Winner – Maybelline Lash Sensational

Highly commended – N/A

If you’re a regular reader you can’t be shocked by the inclusion of Maybelline Lash Sensational. It was my favourite last year and I have no doubt that it will be my favourite next year. It is my holy grail mascara and I will probably be buried with it. It lifts and separates lashes, is very black, doesn’t run even with my incredibly sensitive watery eyes, and doesn’t flake or transfer onto my brow bone. Plus it’s always on offer in Boots or Superdrug. Hand claps all round!

EYELINER

Winner – NYX Jumbo Eyeliner and Eyeshadow Pencil

Highly commended – Bobbi Brown Longwear Cream Shadow Stick*

I haven’t used liquid eyeliner or traditional pencil eyeliners much this year, but chunky crayon-type eyeliners will always be staples in my make up bag. Both the NYX and Bobbi Brown crayons are wonderful for either defining the eyes, an overall wash of colour, or building up a smokey, smudgy eye.

LIPSTICK

Winner – Sephora Cream Lip Stains

Highly commended – Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipsticks

This is always the hardest category for me as lipstick is what makes me happiest when it comes to make up. But when I think of my most used and relied-on, the Sephora Cream Lip Stains are always number one. The name is a bit misleading, as they don’t stain at all – they are a standard matte liquid lipstick – but they do last very well, don’t dry the lips, and the colour range is great. You can watch a video containing swatches of my collection (I’ve added even more since!) HERE. The Kat von D lipsticks have an even better colour range (if you prefer more unique shades!) I find the formula a bit hit and miss, with some lasting all day and some fading within an hour so I have to pick and choose when I wear them but the colours are enough to keep me going back!

PERFUME

Winner – Shay & Blue Black Tulip*

Highly commended – Atelier Cologne Tobacco Nuit*

I was gifted Black Tulip last December and I’m still wearing and loving it – it’s warm and sweet without being cloying plus I think it’s a great size for the price. I always get comments on it because it’s pretty but slightly unusual as well. Atelier Cologne is a pricier brand but if you want to treat yourself, I think perfume is absolutely the way to do it. Tobacco Nuit is the sexiest perfume I own – tobacco flower, tangerine, labdanum… if you’re near a stockist I really recommend going in and smelling the entire range because they are just stunning. The only reason this isn’t my 2018 favourite is because I only have the travel-sized bottle and so I’ve been eking it out! There’s also one called Orange Sanguine that is summer in a bottle and it’s on my wishlist for next year.

  NAIL VARNISH

Winner – Essie Go Go Ginza

Highly commended – Essie Tart Deco

Choosing favourite nail varnishes is like choosing a favourite child for me… basically impossible. But I purposefully wore Go Go Ginza for our trip to Japan as I knew we’d be visiting Ginza, so that polish has such lovely memories for me. I need to replace my bottle as it’s severely depleted, but it is a beautiful pale grey-toned pink so I knew it would go with anything I chose to wear over those three weeks. The runner up, Tart Deco is a cult classic Essie shade for a reason – it’s like summer in a bottle for me, the perfect peach colour.

  And that’s your lot! So many amazing products, a lot of which are keepers from last year’s favourites which I think is a really good sign. Don’t forget to head straight to the comments to let me know what your 2018 favourites were!

Lex

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== PIN THIS IMAGE TO READ LATER!==

2018 Favourites: The Best Beauty Of The Year I can’t really believe that it’s been a year since the last round up, but here we are!

[navigatorface]

My tips for strengthening the immune system and better Anti Agging!

In order to experience aging healthy and without medication, it is necessary to activate the body's own pharmacy by observing the 3 pillars of health:- Movement- Nutrition- SleepThese 3 pillars have to be observed and cared for as one would do with a luxury object. There is nothing more luxurious than a body and a brain that works. We remain capable of learning until 10 minutes before we die. This means that we train the cognitive and physical muscles regularly, give them the right fuel (nutrition) and give them the necessary regeneration and rest (sleep).

Now to my personal experience with the three pillars:movement:Due to injuries caused by sports and motorcycle accidents, I had to rebuild the complete musculature (legs, feet) several times. Because after several months of inactivity, the muscles are gone and the tendons are shortened. This has brought me to fitness and strength training. I don't do it with great pleasure, there is something masochistic about the machines. But it helps to get back in shape. And in old age, it helps to at least stabilize and in the best case even build up the muscles. I have more muscles and strength now, at 71 years of age, especially on my arms, than I did 50 years ago!I do specific strength training twice a week in the fitness club (60 minutes), additionally at home every 2nd day between 60-70 push-ups and 1 minute planks as well as trunk bending. Without that my body would be like a rusty car with a weak engine.  After training I always take my Protein Shake nu3, Fit shake. It is a German product with 76% protein, all important vitamins and minerals, collagens, choline and green tea extract. I take the taste with vanilla because it tastes good together with the unsweetened coconut milk where I mix it, about 2-3 deciliter.See my pic here: 

Basically I orientate myself on the food culture of the Mediterranean region. That means a lot of vegetables and little red meat. As meat I prefer chicken and regularly eat fresh water fish like trout, perch, char, whitefish and especially salmon. I prefer sea fish more when I am at the sea.To grill fish or chicken, I always use coconut oil. This oil goes very well with fish or chicken, gives it a special taste. Coconut oil is also good for preserving your eyesight. Coconut oil is a remedy overlooked by Western medicine, which is effective against all kinds of infections as well as macular degeneration and glaucoma. I discovered it too late:

https://www.brodehl.de/selbsthifle-bei-augenerkrankungen/kokosoel/I discovered it much too late. From time to time I take a teaspoonful because it tastes so good. To grill red meat, I only use veal or beef, I always use cold pressed olive oil. I eat red meat only 1x a week. Chicken and fish however 1-3 times a week. As a side dish to fish and chicken I either make rice or noodles. But it can also be a bowl of mixed salad, which I enrich with avocado and feta cheese.

What I also often do is chicken with curry sauce. Cut the chicken into small pieces, fry it with coconut oil and chopped onions, then deglaze it with some white wine, dust it with some spelt flour and add some coffee cream to get a creamy sauce. Then add curry spice. This can be done with turmeric powder or Arbabian Advieh ( Arabian Advieh ground. The most sensual spice of the Orient smells almost like a curry, but it fits to the aromatic language of the Mediterranean Sea) to enhance the taste. You have to try what you like better. Special spices are available from a colleague of mine, Beat Heuberger: www.beat.heuberger.ch in Zurich. What I also like is Riz Casimir. Prepare as with chicken meat as mentioned above. When the curry is ready and the rice is cooked, I prepare the fruits as a side dish. That means I fry some fruits lightly in coconut oil. This can be sliced banana with tangerine slices, grapes and small almond slivers. When they are a little fried, add them to the curry and stir. Rice is especially rich in carbohydrates and nutrients - all around super healthy and suitable for a nutritious and conscious nutrition. In traditional Chinese medicine, rice is even considered a remedy for high blood pressure. It is also said to relieve the heart and strengthen the body - here are the healthiest rice varieties in the world:Natural rice, wild rice, whole grain Basmati riceWhat I also love is vegetable gratin. The frozen vegetables (Frozen vegetables usually contain more nutrients than vegetables in jars or cans, but also as fresh vegetables that have been stored in the refrigerator for a few days. This is because the nutrient content in fresh vegetables decreases significantly over time due to light and heat).I heat the frozen vegetables in the microwave, then put them in a fireproof bowl, sprinkle grated cheese over them and a sauce Bernaise or Hollandaise (as used with asparagus). This is heated in the oven (gratinated), you can see when the sauce turns slightly brownish - super delicious and prepared in no-time.I also love pasta, but you should not eat it every day. I like to make spaghetti with tuna fish sauce. I take tuna from the tin and heat it up in an organic tomato sauce. The sauce can also be made with a ratatouille vegetable sauce ( https://www.lecker.de/ratatouille-gemuese-33919.html )

Or spaghetti bolognese can also be made like this: 20 gr less chopped beef, but with carrots and celery in the tomato sauce. Or for the pizza, I use only fresh tomatoes, sliced and placed on the dough, with tuna pieces (canned), anchovies and capers and some recent Gruyere cheese from Switzerland. You can also use spelt dough as a base.  A simple rule for eating is: Rainbow-colored food, cooked as a side dish or sauce or raw in a salad. Then you eat a lot of secondary plant substances!

I make my homade salad dressing as follows: Mix grape seed oil with balsamic vinegar and a little mayonnaise, salt and pepper and season to taste until it fits personally. So I hope I could give you some advice what and how I eat. However, it is always important to eat what you like and to give you pleasure and pleasure. I am not an ascetic or fundamentalist when it comes to food, I also take a burger every now and then, but never with white bread.

I also love sweets, but in masses.But the most important thing to keep health and weight in balance is the interval fasting that I have been practicing for over 20 years. That means, here the 16 to 8 rule applies.How did I come to this. I had an extreme allergic reaction after the last knee operation in the 90's, due to an antibiotic infusion during anesthesia. This reaction occurred repeatedly over several months with severe skin rashes (hives). I could no longer take certain foods or painkillers and was given an allergy pass. After X sensitivity test it was found out that it was the mentioned antibiotics infusion during anesthesia.I then, independently of this allergy, completed a fasting week in Austria, the so-called F.X. Mayr cure: https://www.netdoktor.de/ernaehrung/heilfasten/mayr-kur/In this course, 1 week, my intestine was cleaned and the microbiom in the intestine, which was destroyed by the antibiotics, was rebuilt. I did not know this, but I was pleasantly surprised about the result. I can recommend thus a chamfering cure only if one has difficulties with the intestine. The intestine is so to speak the pharmacy one with the correct nutrition to effect brings. During chamfered the body disposes of increased cell wastes, whereby the damaged proteins and cell components in a process, which is called autophagy, are digested and eliminated with the defecation. The right diet helps digestion and can alleviate complaints such as irritable bowel syndrome or rheumatism. What also helps of course is stress management with mediation or self-hypnosis. A healthy lifestyle has nothing to do with asceticism or renunciation - on the contrary, everyone can decide for himself whether he or she wants to swallow daily medication in the case of chronic diseases, gets back pain in the case of overweight or even needs artificial joints. On the other hand, those who change their lifestyle and diet not only get a better quality of life but are also rewarded with a strong immune system as a defense against any viruses. My interval fasting looks like this, breakfast like a king, between 08-09h, then late lunch, usually between 13.30 to 15h and then nothing more except 1-2 glasses of red wine in the evening. I always do this when I am alone. As I said before, I am not an ascetic or nutritional fundamentalist. When I am in company, I eat in the evening or enjoy finger food during the apero. Except for sausage, offal or pork, I basically eat everything. The advantage of Dinner Canceling is also that the body's pharmacy produces melatonin, the sleep hormone. Not eating dinner also leads to a better sleep and corresponding sleep quality, which in turn leads to better regeneration. See in addition also my video to stress biology into my YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/a5AFh52nz0MHow to apply the 16 to 8 rule during interval fasting is individually different. There are humans without the breakfast to do and Lunch as well as dinner consume. One must find that out for itself.Interval fasting helps me to keep my weight with +/- 78kg. Most people consume too many calories while eating. For people who don't do heavy physical work, 1200 to max. 1500 calories per day are enough, everything above that is too much.

Regeneration:Here the quality of sleep is decisive, i.e. not the length of sleep but the achievement of deep sleep phases alternating with REM phases. More about this also in my video on stress biology: https://youtu.be/a5AFh52nz0MHere is a tip for irritable bowel syndrome. Here a change in diet and also "abdominal hypnosis" helps to readjust the communication between brain and intestine so that not every stimulus in the brain is felt as pain. A special app "Care care" can help in this respect. A healthy intestine loves fiber, good and slow chewing and regular exercise.  I hope that I can help a little bit with this article so that you can activate your body pharmacy for a long and healthy aging.

[umaleitora]

Benaz - Riz MC

You see Things dipped in Benaz's life when Dad crashed his car lost minicab license He picked fights with Ma He'd drink nights at bars Wished he had a son Redundant and drunk Benaz tried stopping from shoving her mum around So now he beats her like it makes him proud The fat lips meant she had to quit Topshop And now they beef and argue nonstop She won't marry some freshie cousin, she's telling him He's only in it for the passport and benefits But Dad doesn't get it or wanna You see He's an immigrant with nothing, so his currency's honor He already promised the relative she would be the bride for his son Her second cousin said it would please her But the young girl doesn't think like the geeza She won't let him shut away her heart like a dealer Mum backed her up and he left it But to him this is worse than death, disrespected So now she doesn't work but she runs domestics Then one day at Tescos who woulda guessed it The self-service checkout wasn't workin' Then, outta nowhere, "Can I help you, ma'am?" Get the hell out It's her first crush from primary school Haven't met since then, but when she smiles he still drools "Long time, no see" "Yeah, the irony" Cool Soon, buying milk and eggs becomes a nightly excuse His name's Akin An orphan, ain't got many friends Suits Benaz, she stays low key in the ends He's not the usual wannabe macho guy with the Benz He's studying optometry, skinny, not hench He examines her green eyes, his heart does breakbeats Smiles are swapped, soon, they find place to creep They walk deep in woods, where grass carpets feet Phone bills grow in the dark, half-asleep It's the real deal, he wanna do it proper Puts on best suit, knocks on door to ask the old codger Akin asks her dad and he makes a little speech But all he gets is a no, like a kick in the teeth 'Cause his grandad's from the wrong tribe or village He's from the wrong subset of the same religion It's not a way to pick for yourself like you're the English "Don't ever try to see her again, this is finished." But love's persistent Benaz and Akin can't resist magnetism She feels so blue, but he soothes the hurt Says they can't stop love and calls her his little Smurf But soon they're seen by boys from the community That go out and fuck white girls with impunity Oh, gee! Misogyny meets old school hypocrisy "What we do is fine, but our women must live honestly." Word spreads, other people's whispers twisted This innocent love into sinful kisses "Control your daughter, what an awful family" "She already backed out of a marriage and now she sleeps with any old boy." Truth is, she's a virgin, yeah But gossip is rarely the true version Hurting the family the name is like losing the life savings So Dad collects payment as bailiff Pounds her flesh, blood speckles all over the loo Words can break bones and turn your eyes blue She zones out, goes numb as he kicks and slaps her She listens to that rained down pitter and patter The same pitiful rhythm of hypocritical chatter From those who call her "whore, slut, bitch" and slap her No matter She has a special concealer for these mornings Applies to eyelids while the violent are yawning Dawn brings a silence, she holds it close She's a lily in its lake and for now, she floats With faith in her heart, she thinks Maybe she should just play a part In some imaginary poets tragic heart 'cause she's not gonna live a half life She cleans pus from her hard eye Smiles in the mirror, decides Her choice either disobey Dad and risk death Or prison jailed in her own home and sit there She thinks, "Yes, I'll run away with Akin." Sends text, wears frown as crown, such a pitiful princess Says "Meet me in the forest if you honestly love me Before dawn comes and the sky's still lovely Dad beat me up again, I want you to hug me We gotta run away, bring clothes and money." 'Cause she knows she's good She's fed up of should She puts on her red hood and rides into the woods [HOOK] If I knew I'd live in shame Just to be near you I would do it all again I would do it all again If I knew I'd feel this pain Just to be near you I would do it all again I would do it all again When she went into the woods that day she was in for a big surprise A bunch of guys from 'round the way Drunk after a rave Spied them both with suitcases running away They'd gotten away Like hyenas fast upon them As if drunk sleazebags must guard her honor Some of them knew her cousin, so they grassed her properly To the family. What Daddy did could pass for horror She lost use of her right eye Eats through a straw Right leg in a plaster at the hospital ward Akin sneaks in to visit her with scars on his jaw From where Benaz's cousin's knuckles waged a war He cries, and he draws a little heart on the plaster Puts a kiss on her eye, tells her now it will heal faster She said "I told doctors that I happened to fall over It's funny you call me Smurf, now I'm blue all over Be strong, my love, and try not to cry And from on don't call me Smurf, you should call me Popeye." He says, "No more jokes. This mess must stop." Convinces her she has to get some help from the cops "I've tried twice when they beatin' me, they heard the screams But Mum says that we don't need police, they turn and leave" But Akin brought a constable with him So Benaz spills the beans in the hospital Sittin' there with her drip and the stitches But it's clear that after six minutes he thinks that she's fibbing Isn't really trusting his witness He says, "The nurse told me that you fell down the stairs Now you're changing your story And though I see that you're scared Your parents are crying It doesn't make sense what you said I can't put you in protection 'cause there's nothin' proven yet Try going to a women's shelter There isn't one nearby? It shut down? Well, sorry, I can't help ya Well, don't try and live with your fella If anyone bothers you over there, well You can just give us a bell, love But it seems to me like you just want a council house Stop wasting police time, please, that's all for now" And as PC Plod is leaving, her family sees him They creep in the ward silently seething Benaz can't control her breathing, knows it's open season now But she's too proud to plead with them Akin asks them to leave That they even came is hard to believe Squares up to her father and grits teeth Uncles and cousin, brothers are ready to rough him up But her mother steps forward, say "No, let's discuss it." "Come home, Benaz. I fought for you once And if you really want this man as your husband Then I'll trust him." Her father apologizes, tries touching her, mumbling His agony for her to move out the way, but she doesn't He says, "Akin, what I did is hard to forgive, I understand But if your heart is as big as she thinks it is Don't make her choose between you and her family." Her mom says, "It's alright, but my child, Benaz don't abandon me Stranded, she feels primeval attraction Her genes hanker for family Sees hope in the old man's defeat She wonders if her mother might collapse if she leaves Breathe deep, says she'll give it a try, at least Akin can't believe it, but he follows her lead Makes peace, shakes hands, an uncomfortable squeeze Benaz's one eye swells up in relief If justice is blind, hope looks with one eye (and leaps) [HOOK] If I knew I'd live in shame Just to be near you I would do it all again I would do it all again If I knew I'd feel this pain Just to be near you I would do it all again I would do it all again She waddles through the door on crutches Rushed in from hospital They promised her the wedding would come quick Dad says, "There's flowers and food to choose, come pick." Her heart throbs She half hops and half runs in But something doesn't quite fit "Why are the curtains shut, Ma, and why don't you sit?" There's an empty suitcase but the handles are ripped White cloth lines the inside, freshly stitched Akin was told to go wait at the mosque with the ring She's home alone, feels the walls closing in He said he'd call her when he gets there but her phone don't ring And in that moment, she knows, her dad planned the whole thing Akin got rushed by her cousins Bottled by the one she wouldn't marry Who wishes that she loved him He tried struggling But seven of them all punching him He bleeds 'til his blood runs thin Eyes shut, lights dim Benaz is on her own again Silence falls Reminds her of dawn Her heart blinks, Mum starts to cry Her mask slips, "How far can I help you, the way you behaved You asked for it." Dad just stares and broods Then he bends down, starts to undo the lace from his shoes Holds them between his fists like an improvised noose Benaz nods and then she lets a fire run loose Swings her crutch far She screams and chucks vase "Fuck you, Fuck your honor, what about my heart?" Her dad's on top of her now and he's blocking her arms He's stopping her from scratching and bottles her hard He's sitting on her leg as she gasps She won't give up 'til the last Legs broken, arms pinned, so she spits on the bastard Blood gathers in her face The pressure presses against The neck and Dad tightens it and mumbles a prayer Knuckles whiten The lace frays That windpipe tries to be brave, but Now not even love can save her Laces tighten around the neck A world darkens Cuts into her flesh As her arteries harden The sound of her mum screaming distorts the laughter The last thing she sees, the weeping face of her father Eyes close And her thoughts drift off as they do To the memory of her daddy tying her shoes By the school gates But now he dumps her dead in a suitcase Buries her in the garden with no mark on the youth's grave They call police, say she just disappeared They plead on T.V. and it's unsolved for years Akin is brain-damaged, sleeps rough on the streets He goes mad like Majnu, I know it's tough to believe But he sleeps on concrete and in the dark he grieves Although he doesn't know why, he can feel his heart bleed When he closes one eye, he can almost half see In his mind is something lost, but he'll never find peace Police find the body in the end They say they're sorry and forced marriage and honor killings must end People say the parents are thugs But they still fuck girls, then judge girls Say they should wear hijabs And soon enough, the cycle restarts So play this to your mates Based on a true story of Benaz Dedicated to her and a hundred other pieces of grass 'Til the end of forever, there are no lasts 'Cause in the corner of some English field Lies the true price of love [HOOK} If I knew I'd live in shame Just to be near you I would do it all again I would do it all again If I knew I'd feel this pain Just to be near you I would do it all again I would do it all again

[thedeviantsrp-blog]

Congrats Maranda! We are so excited to have you apply as another character! Your application was great and so detailed and we cannot wait to see your FC of Riz Ahemd as Demetri Rahim come to life on the dash! You know what to do: please follow the checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! And don’t forget to submit an AU description if you want him to be included in our next leg of the AU event!

OOC Information

Name: Maranda

Age: 20

Preferred Pronouns: She/Her

Timezone: EST

Any Triggers: RFP

Level of Activity: I’m still at about a 7 out of 10. But now things have mellowed out for the time, I can be active most evenings for a few hours unless something has come up. But even then I’m going to be on for a while each day.

Anything Else?: Would it be okay if I were to use Riz Ahmed as his face claim instead of the suggested ones?

IC Information

Character’s Given Codename: Astir Real Name: Demetri Rahim Faceclaim: Riz Ahmed, Matthew Daddario, Ansel Elgort,Nico Tortorella Age: 30 Hometown: London, England, United Kingdom Previous Occupation: Trauma Surgeon   Ability: Telekinesis

Description: 

Since he was young, Demetri dreamed of a life better than the one he had. Growing up in the slums of London, he was grateful for all he’d been given. His father, a brilliant man, worked three jobs to keep the lights on and food on the table. His mother did odd jobs, unable to get a career because back in her home country she was not allowed to finish school. In this new life, his parents fought to give them everything they could want. To give them the opportunity they had never had. The oldest of the three, Demetri seemed to grow up fast. Helping his mother the best he could even from a young age. He may have never understood what was going–not fully, but he wanted to help. As he grew, he took on more to help out–watching his younger siblings, keeping the house tidy, making dinner, etc. He knew his parents  hated that he’d taken this world upon his shoulders, but he never minded it.

Demetri a model student in class. He ached to learn as much as he could, spending hours in the library reading and studying. He would leave with a backpack full of books in hopes of learning all he could of what they studied and then some.He was willing to do whatever he could to save himself and this seemed to be the best way out. Sadly, his behavior outside of school was not quite as promising. He hung out with social pariahs– kids down on their luck and taught to fight for what they have. Kids like himself who grew up in the slums and forced to live a life they never wanted. But unlike Demetri they had become a casualties of the slums. They would be caught out late, picking fights with each other, underage drinking, and petty theft was often a past time. Demetri loved the thrill of it even if he was only a bystander–at least to the thievery. He kept his hands mostly clean, but often bruised. His mother cursed him for his fighting, but it never phased him.  He lived for the thrill and if no one, but him got hurt where was the harm? His father never said a word about it. He claimed it his son’s way of breaking free from having to grow up so fast and to get girls–he wasn’t wrong. By the time he was sixteen he had joined one of the local gyms and had taken up boxing–mostly to ease his mother’s worry. Still it didn’t stop him from sneaking out and causing a disruption when he could get the lads together. When he could find the time between the life he lived, the one he helped move along at him, and the one he witnessed with his friends–he would draw. His note books would be bubbling over with drawing that were carefully planned in a passionate drive to create. And by the time he was seventeen–he’d taken to the side of buildings as canvases when the couldn’t afford the money for a new book–borrowing his neighbor’s spray paint to leave his mark on the city and continuing his streak as a public menace.

As the weight of reality began to set in, he found himself falling away from the life he’d created on the streets and focusing more on what awaited him. Demetri graduated with high honors and planned to drive head first into university as quickly as they’d allow. He was the first in his family to go to college, the first to make something of his life and lead the way for future generations. Most of his friends hadn’t graduated–and one never lived to see it. Demetri never learned of the death of his best friend until he was packing his things over the summer. He’d known he’d gone to visit his brother in Ireland, but didn’t know he never made it there. His mother promised it was to protect him, save him from the pain. She knew this pain would keep him from leaving and she couldn’t allow that. But even with as clear of a head as he had–he couldn’t forgive her for that, not yet.

He carried the pain with him as he went to university–part of him wondering what had he’d done if he’d know. He tried not to dwell;  what mattered was what he did next. Knowing that is what his best friend would’ve wanted for him. He always encouraged him to not let anything stop him, this is how he’d honor him. Helping someone had been engraved in his bones so it almost seemed natural for him to go into the medical field. He didn’t want to be the one to find the cure for cancer or work in a simple office–no, he wanted to work with the cases that were often more than met the eye and would give him the chance to help those most couldn’t. Which is what drove him to what to become a surgeon.  It was far harder than the shows made it look, for four years he study tirelessly when he wasn’t bouncing between classes, labs, and his part time job. He was run thin most of the time, running on coffee and cheap food–it wasn’t the life he wanted, but it would get him there. And when the opportunity for him to go to grad school in America–he jumped at the chance. In the land of Freedom and new dreams, he would make his stand.

It was painful to leave the only home he’d ever known behind, swearing to write every chance he got and would call when possible–he somehow survived the long goodbyes at the airport. His new life at Harvard Medical School awaited him. Finally, he was free and life never looked brighter. But the land of milk and honey had gone sour. While he never experienced any trouble at school, the world waiting outside was a much different place. People would stare at him with a glare in their eye, muffled words would fall before he could catch them as strangers “bumped” into him, and other times people were far more blunt with their words. In a country founded up on the ideas of freedom from all that ailed you–he was nothing more to them than an immigrant. A word that stood for hope meant terror to those around him.  It was a new world, but the fight inside of him was greater than ever. He was better than their ignorance and stronger than the hate.

The next four years were far from easy, but he never gave up and after being in the country for five years–Demetri become an American citizen and moved to New York to begin his residency. He made his new home in Brooklyn, a small overpriced studio apartment, the neighbourhood reminding him of the home he left behind. It pushed him harder to make this all work out. When he wasn’t at the hospital, Demetri would fill his time with the friends he’d made at the hospital. He would fall in and out of relationships with girls who never seemed to want more than someone waste a night on, and when he found the time–he’d pick up a book to read or his paints and create. He fell into this flow and found happiness in it. A long term girlfriend, a cat named Chewie, three guys who he would risk his life for, and the long phone calls home to his family. Things seemed to be going right for once and shaping up to be his own American dream.

A year later, he’d finished up his residency and taken the open position as a trauma surgeon at the hospital. But three months into his dream–it’d become a nightmare. The explosion rattled the city, the ER over flowed with people and he spent what felt like days working to help those injured. He knew it would never be simple, but he never signed up for this. When he finally was able to catch a moment to himself, he’d sat in his office. His mind swimming with thoughts. He let his body relax for the first time–he felt weightless. But the moment crashed when his phone rang–and so did he. He opened his eyes to himself floating in his office chair–the whole room, every piece of furniture was floating as if it were tossed out to sea. But as the panic set in–he crashed to the ground along with everything else.  In that moment he knew, the nightmare had only just begun.

Ethos:

Demetri is of a very caring nature. He is very selfless, but that seems to often hurt him instead. He will put others needs before his own. He doesn’t take very good care of himself. He will often forget to eat or sleep, but he does all he can to make sure the ones around him are taken care of and in good health. He doesn’t realize he’s taken such a toll upon himself until it is too late.  Demetri has always been very ambitious. He will stop at nothing, do whatever had can to succeed not matter the cost. Even he as his limitations though. When he fails, he doesn’t take it well and often will take it out on others. He will push people away and often start arguments he can’t win to feel he regain some kind of control in these situations. Instead, he often breaks relationships and shuts himself away for a time.  He has been called a control freak in the past. It is something he’s working, but when the whole world feels as if it’s waiting for him to fail–he can’t always keep a clear head about himself.

[corneliusslm-blog]

If you Crashed ON The McDonalds

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