#now if i could only play and write at the same time i'd be grand

[miffyisms]

⋆࿐໋˖𓍢ִִ໋ taylor swift - the tortured poets department (anthology) , ♡

various prompts from the selected media can be found below. it is important to read the rules of the receiving blog before sending any. feel free to change any pronouns to better suit your needs. the selected media can possibly be triggering to some, please be advised !

am i allowed to cry?

i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing.

nostalgia is a mind's trick.

i can hold my breath.

then we could all just laugh until i cry.

i'm seeing visions, am i bad?

it wasn't a fair fight or a clean kill.

just say when, i'd play again.

oh, was it punishment?

oh my god, you should see your faces.

blood's thick, but nothin' like a payroll.

now you know what it feels like.

you're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road.

this town is fake, but you're the real thing.

were you writing a book?

the devil that you know.

well, you took me to hell too.

six weeks of breathing clean air, i still miss the smoke.

go on, fuck me up.

you deserve prison, but you won't get time.

i touched you for only a fortnight.

honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it.

nothing makes me feel more alive.

who the fuck was that guy?

but when i count the scars, there's a moment of truth that there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you.

even if i die screaming, i hope you hear it.

no one's ever had me, not like you.

yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.

i built a legacy that you can't undo.

fuck it if i can't have us.

i'm miserable!

i'm gonna get you back.

i'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace.

so tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?

my boy only breaks his favorite toys.

tell me all your secrets.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

what if your eyes looked up and met mine.

i swept in at the rescue.

now i'm down bad, crying at the gym.

i'm so afraid i sealed my fate.

i chose this cyclone with you.

all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february.

you were sleeping soundly when they dragged you from your bed.

it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

i can't pretend like i understand.

i'm just getting color back into my face.

i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.

i stopped cpr, after all, it's no use

it was unnecessary, should've let it stay buried.

we both did the best we could do underneath the same moon.

you shit-talked me under the table.

touch me while your bros play grand theft auto.

you said you were gonna grow up then you were gonna come find me.

i'm combing through the braids of lies.

no way i'm gonna screw up, now that i know what's at stake.

you told me i'm the love of your life.

you kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing.

tell me something awful.

i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

how did it end?

in fifty years will all this be declassified?

was any of it true?

there's a lot of people in town that i bestow upon my fakest smiles.

how dare you think it's romantic, leaving me safe and stranded.

they knew the whole time that i was onto something.

i just learned these people only raise you to cage you.

i dreamed about it in the dark the night i felt like i might die.

all of this to say, i hope you're okay.

i didn't opt in to be your odd man out.

move to florida, buy the car you want.

in plain sight you hid.

i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine.

please, i've been on my knees.

just how low did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode?

who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames if we know the steps anyway?

pull me to the backseat.

way up there, i actually love it.

at dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on.

i hate it here.

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

i should've known it was a matter of time.

they're gonna crucify me anyway.

he was my best friend.

this happens once every few lifetimes.

i can't forgive the way you made me feel.

does it feel alright to not know me?

you said some things that i can't unabsorb.

i just don't understand how you don't miss me.

i felt more when we played pretend.

the future's bright, dazzling.

i've seen this episode and still loved the show.

please know that i tried to hold onto the days when you were mine.

are you still a mind reader?

i'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and i'll get lost on purpose.

tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable.

do you believe me now?

still alive, killing time at the cemetery

is it somethin' i did?

i read about it in a book when i was a precocious child.

you caged me, and then you called me crazy.

bet they never spared a prayer for my soul.

i stopped trying to make him laugh.

he just hadn't met me yet.

you ain't gotta pray for me.

i won't confess that i waited, but i let the lamp burn.

all your life, did you know you'd be picked like a rose?

i'm tryin' to stifle my sighs.

if you wanted me dead, you should've just said.

it's happening again.

i don't think you've changed much.

are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?

i don't believe in good luck now that i know what's what.

all that time you were throwing punches, i was building something.

i know i'm just repeating myself.

fuck 'em, it's over.

little did you know, your home's really only a town you're just a guest in.

i wanna kill him.

i forget if this was ever fun.

love's never lost when perspective is earned.

you didn't measure up in any measure of a man.

my friends used to play a game where we would pick a decade we wished we could live in instead of this.

if you want to tear my world apart just say you've always wondered.

what we thought was for all time, was momentary.

do that impression you did of your dad again.

you see i was a debutant in another life but now i seem to be scared to go outside.

you just watched it happen.

so if you want to break my cold, cold heart, say you loved me.

what a charming saturday.

they tried to warn him about her.

then say they didn't do it to hurt me, but what if they did?

i just don't understand.

i was a functioning alcoholic 'till nobody noticed my new aesthetic.

no one asks any questions here.

my friends said it isn't right to be scared.

now i want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes.

were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke?

you'll find someone.

old habits die screaming.

i know he's crazy but he's the one i want.

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

fuck you if i can't have us.

we were blind to unforeseen circumstances.

i wish i could un-recall how we almost had it all.

trust me, i can handle me a dangerous man.

you're the loss of my life.

i cry a lot, but i am so productive.

who's afraid of little old me?

it was legendary.

i keep recalling things we never did.

i still ponder what it meant.

and who's gonna know you, if not me?

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place.

your words are still just ringing in my head.

the story isn't mine anymore.

i'm lonely, but i'm good.

i tried to warn you about them.

fresh out the slammer, i know who my first call will be to.

i look in people's windows.

i will never lose my baby again.

looking backwards might be the only way to move forward.

i choose you and me religiously.

i got cursed like eve got bitten.

i would've died for your sins, instead i just died inside.

well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time.

life was always easier on you than it was on me.

you don't get to tell me about "sad".

i'm not a donor but i'd give you my heart if you needed it.

do you hate me?

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me.

if i'd been there, i'd hate it.

stay away from her.

i can do it with a broken heart.

you cinephile in black and white.

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

but what about your quiet treason?

i hoped you'd return.

i took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary.

i can take the upper hand and touch your body.

i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning.

oh, what a way to die.

i'll tell you one thing honey, i can tell when somebody still wants me.

this place made me feel worthless.

my husband is cheating.

my beloved ghost and me.

i keep finding his things in drawers.

did you take all my old clothes?

even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you.

i'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague.

no, i'm not coming to my senses.

we've already done it in my head.

that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

no matter what i've done, it wouldn't matter anyway.

everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman but she used to say she wished that you were dead.

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

good boy, that's right.

let it once be me.

lights, camera, bitch, smile.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

i'm runnin' back home to you.

one bad seed kills the garden.

i've been doing it since he left.

they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware, what happens if it becomes who you are?

i was tame, i was gentle till the circus life made me mean.

the hospital was a drag, worst sleep that i ever had.

oh, here we go again.

we learned the right steps to different dances.

i haven't come around in so long.

god save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me.

'cause i'm a real tough kid, i can handle my shit.

i'll tell you how i've been there too, and that none of it matters.

i'm having his baby.

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me.

no, you can't come to the wedding.

you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?

but you should've seen him when he first got me.

i'm sure i can pass this test.

they tried to warn you about me.

come close, i'll show you heaven if you'll be an angel all night.

what if i told you i'm back?

i'm there most of the year 'cause i hate it here.

i may never open up the way i did for you.

you left your typewriter at my apartment.

oh, we must stop meeting like this.

scandal does funny things to pride.

tell me 'bout the first time you saw me.

it's gonna be alright, i did my time.

and for a fortnight there we were forever.

i thought it was just goodbye for now.

i love you, it's ruining my life.

i'm not trying to exaggerate, but i think i might die if it happened.

i might just die, it would make no difference.

i'll forget you, but i'll never forgive.

a greater woman stays cool, but i howl like a wolf at the moon.

a greater woman wouldn't beg.

pick your poison, babe.

i died on the altar waiting for the proof.

can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses?

i don't even want you back, i just want to know.

they'll say i'm nuts if i talk about the existence of you.

way to go, tiger.

were you a sleeper cell spy?

you are bloodthirsty.

you said i needed a brave man, then proceeded to play him until i believed it too.

someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts.

i can fix him, no really i can.

you needed me, but you needed drugs more.

thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up.

who do i have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy?

you're in terrible danger.

i want to snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me.

you are what you did.

fuck it, i was in love.

for a moment, i knew cosmic love

you're the new god we're worshipping.

you gotta fake it 'till you make it, and i did.

i wanna kill her.

did you think i had in me?

you said normal girls were "boring".

and who's gonna hold you like me?

no one here's to blame.

even statues crumble if they're made to wait.

you can mark my words that i said it first.

one last souvenir from my trip to your shores

i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day.

how can i be guilty as sin?

you were gone by the morning.

i'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?

he said he'd love me all his life.

who else decodes you?

fuck it if i can't have him.

i just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you.

tell me all that you'd learned.

you're an animal.

you already know, babe.

growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.

i loved your hostile takeovers.

you and i go from one kiss to getting married.

[truly-sincerely]

IS GORTASH ENTHRALLED?

(tl;dr: yes)

In this essay I will…

Okay, but seriously I did write an essay.

I got here after chasing a very different rabbit down its hole. I'd noticed that Gortash seems to have been throwing out a lot of his stuff (read: mostly employees).

Waldemar Prinski, a loyal banite, sold to a devil for a corn chip

Dark Breaker Antiope, sahuagin wrangler, A Negotiation

The Steel Watch Foundry, Orders to Black Gauntlet Rives

Scribe Yanthus, my beloved, sent on a wild bhaal chase

Vance Farnol, journalist, tho you could argue he had it coming

Goblin Worg handler at Flymm Cargo, plus the Worgs when they run out of Goblin to eat

And, of course, everyone at his Coronation

Was killing all of the patriars and their staff a grim necessity, Enver? Was it?

(Also, he's installed a giant portrait of Bane and a bust of Bane in the penthouse, but he doesn't have a single picture of himself, or any mirrors, for that matter. Food for thought.)

My initial diagnosis was macabre, but obviously I’ve moved away from that line of thinking. He's just way too happy to brag about how much danger he's put himself, us, and the entire world in. It freaked me out the first time I met him (as a Tav). Like I see him glancing at the ground and smiling coyly while saying, "If we're lucky, we'll become slaves," on the back of my eyelids when I go to bed at night.

For the love of all that is holy, could you please turn it down a notch?

I've been obsessed with The Ultimate State since I first read it. It's absolutely absurd nonsense. The item description says it's, "the philosophical ramblings of Enver Gortash." and I feel like it's worth noting that he doesn't write his own propaganda; he has the banites do it for him. But I mean, it really does read like he's twisting himself in knots to connect "unity" and "progress" together, but babe, those jigsaw pieces do not go together like that. Anyway, while thinking about this subject it dawned on me:

They're the same picture.

You know what other line of thinking these two have in common?

They both look so sad when they say this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I abandoned you.

I know we all love to joke about Durge or Gortash feeding the Brain the "Handsome, Younger Man" line, but what if that was just a smokescreen and it's been the other way around this whole time?

Netherbrain: You think you know why you are here. You think you can atone for giving me my power, child of Bhaal, by destroying me with the Netherstones. You are wrong. The Emperor: It’s messing with your mind. Don’t listen to it. Use the stones. Netherbrain: By eliminating Ketheric and Orin, you have simply unbound me. Exactly as I intended. The Crown is now mine to command - mine alone. The Emperor: Don’t listen to it! Focus on the Crown! Netherbrain: You placed the Crown upon me in the depths of Moonrise Towers, and there I was born. The Crown is not my weakness - it is what made me what I am. Gortash: You are delusional - the Crown is how we controlled you! Netherbrain: I respected Bhaal’s child once, but not you, Gortash. I allowed you to control me as long as it suited my purposes. You have played your part. The next order to be given is mine and it is this - die. Gortash: (crumples like a piece of parchment) Netherbrain: When the parasite entered your ruined mind - you became a pawn in my design. Who do you think told the Chosen about the Astral Prism? Who do you think planted the knowledge of Orpheus’ power, and the fear of what it could do? When the Chosen sent my thralls to retrieve the Prism - who do you think let the ‘Emperor’ slip its leash, knowing it would be the one to bring you to me? The Emperor: We were part of its plan… Netherbrain: I only needed one Netherstone loosened from the Chosen’s grasp to guarantee my freedom. You brought all three back to me. In doing so, you have liberated me. This was your role - and it is complete. Now you will witness the Grand Design.

The face of a man who has 20 INT and 16 WIS and is definitely not the brainwashed pawn of a giant brain that's been manipulating him in his sleep.

You think his puny +7 WIS save is gonna beat the Netherbrain when it's been working on his ass every time he goes to sleep for the last nine months? I say thee nay.

Also, and this is probably oversharing, but my dad, who I used to think of as a really smart guy is now a huge Trump supporter. He's an atheist but he'll parrot conservative christian talking points that I've seen clipped from Nazi talking heads. The words that come out of his mouth and the way he smiles when he says completely insane things is haunting.

What all of this means at the end of the day isn't much in the grand scheme of things, but it's kind of sad, and it definitely says something about his characterization. This man is floundering in a soup of his own making. A tragic puppet. A poor little meow meow.

There's an interesting line of demarcation between the various writings that he dictated to Scribe Yanthus, the things he wrote himself, and the things he says to us in the game.

Elder Brain Domination (from Ketheric, but about Gortash)

Suspended Ceremorphosis

The Grand Design

Studies of the Elder Brains

Accelerated Grand Design

Memoir Notes With Recent Addenda

Journal of Enver Gortash

He's so much more motivated and insightful early on, epitomized in Ketheric's entry, "Gortash fears that, energised by the dark energies of the Crown, the brain we now call the Absolute will eventually metamorphose into something new and more difficult to control." And he was right! But that guy's nowhere to be found by the time we meet him.

This one makes me particularly sad, "No weakness but the unexpected. It seems I shall need unexpected allies," because, again, he's right, and we could've saved him if the game had given us the opportunity to say, "No, there is another way. Let's not walk into this obvious trap." He wrote us a roadmap; left a trail of breadcrumbs; and we weren't given the option to follow them.

But I guess that's what fixfics are for.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TAVtalk!

[papayatori]

Lose it all

MV1 x fém!reader

Warnings: none, just severely sweet fluff

Intro: this is inspired by the song Lose It All by Sam Tompkins.. (wonderful song) Max and his girlfriend y/n have grown incredibly close in the last few years of your relationship, and Max is thinking about taking the next step.

A/n: This one is incredibly cheesy and relatively short, this is just something I was thinking about writing for a while now and just decided to go ahead with it. Enjoy mates!

You and Max had been friends for as long as you could remember; playing in the same streets as kids, having dinner at each other's houses, karting together, you did everything together. From the moment you could both walk, you were inseparable. Max's parents were family friends that lived right across the street from you. Both of them joked that you would grow up to marry one day, and to their expectations, you had both been dating for the last three years.

Recently, however, your mother had been pushing the topic a bit harder You weren't sure if you and Max were ready for marriage yet. Of course, you wanted to marry him eventually, but what if that wasn't mutual?

"You've been together for three years now," you recalled her saying. "don't you think it's time to take the next step? I'm not getting any younger, you know."

She insisted that you'd have children in the next few years, insisted that we needed to start planning a wedding.

While all of that was all well and good, you couldn't help but ask yourself if Max really wanted to marry you or not. Your mother was right, it had been three years, and he hadn't made a move to propose yet. In your mind, this equated to the conclusion that Max must not want you after all.

You sat on the bed that the two of you shared, a tear threatening to fall from your eye. You felt stupid for even thinking about this, you knew Max loved you, but you couldn't help but shake the doubt away.

You had started to reel through your memories with him, feeling heartbroken already. On your first date, Max had been trying to impress you with his athletic ability. What better way to do that than with Wii Bowling? You had been playing together for only twenty minutes before Max, who had insisted the strap on the remote was unnecessary and refused to put it on, launched the remote into your television.

After profusely apologizing, your first official date was spent shopping for another TV that Max insisted on buying you.

You felt the tears pouring now, reliving the memories of your first kiss.

Max's weekend at home had finally come after months of waiting. He had been talking for months about how he couldn't wait to celebrate with his grid mates and introduce me to them all after he had finally won his own grand prix; but instead, he had spent it playing nurse and watching over you.

"The only thing I could think about the entirety of that race was getting back to you to make sure you were okay.."

You had grown ill before the race weekend, causing your own discouragement. This was going to be your first race watching Max in person, and you couldn't have been more excited. Though, you had been bed-ridden by the doctors an forced to watch from your apartment once again.

Max sped back here as soon as he could, hoping not to be gone too long away from you. The thought alone made your cheeks redden, even though there was the biggest knot of guilt forming in your stomach.

"Go celebrate, Max. This is your first home win!" He smiled widely, cupping my cheek.

"I'd rather be sick with you." He pressed his lips to mine gently, not caring about the consequences that might come along with it.

The door to your bedroom swung open, revealing a clearly concerned Max behind it.

"Schatje, what's wrong? In a second you were in his arms, so tightly you were worried you might've suffocated. "Why are you crying?" He kissed your head tenderly.

You hadn't even realized you were crying as hard as you were until you were practically sobbing into Max's chest.

"I can't lose you Max." You could barely even get your words to form from your quivering lips. He laughed a little, sending you into a confused state. "I'm serious!" You gave him a hurt glance. "Why would I being going anywhere, y/n?" He cupped your cheek, forcing you to look up at him. His eyes were full of nothing but worry for you, that alone made you start crying again.

"It's been three years, Mum says she's starting to worry we won't make it. She says you would have proposed by now."

Max gave you a knowing glance, heaving a sigh.

"Your mother isn't the one to make that call, Schatje." He gave me a smile, standing from our position on the bed. "Come on, lets get you cleaned up."

He pulled you into the bathroom, sitting you on the sink counter. He opened the drawers, grabbed the makeup wipes and started wiping the remnants of your tears and mascara off of your face. Afterwards, he took a damp towel and wiped the residue away.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." He gave your hand a little squeeze before disappearing back into the bedroom. After a few long moments, he came back with one of your favorite, blue sundresses. You were a little confused at first, but took the dress nonetheless. You were sure Max was planning something, but you didn't know how this was going to aid the question at hand.

He couldn't be avoiding it, could he?

With that newfound doubt as you looked in the mirror, you refused to cry again, already seeing the sadness growing in your eyes as Max walked back into the bathroom to check on you. This time, he had a pair of your favorite heels that he handed you eagerly. You put them on, still eyeing him skeptically.

...

...

...

After a few hours of driving and every attempt at asking Max where the two of you were going, you eventually pulled into a beautiful grass field.

A beautiful grass field in the middle of nowhere.

You looked over at Max, praying that he wasn't some serial killer in disguise the entirety of your life. Though, if he was, props to him, he had played the part exceedingly well.

"Wait here, y/n." So you did.

You sat in the car for about ten minutes, hearing Max messing around in the boot before finally coming around to the passenger side door and opening it for you. He offered his hand to help you out of the car.

"M'lady." He grinned at you, the biggest grin you've ever seen. You couldn't help but give a small smile back regardless of the worry that had manifested itself inside of your heart. You let him pull out of the car, revealing a beautiful landscape all around you.

"Ahem." You heard Max clear his throat from behind you. You turned around, revealing a picnic basket and a blanket under one of the trees behind where you had parked. You smiled broadly at Max.

"You took me all the way out here just to make me feel better?" You felt your heart swell with joy. How had you ever doubted this man..

He took your hand tenderly, leading you over the blanket.

You both ate together, talking every so often, sipping on wine that made you feel so elegant you could hardly stand it. Though, after a while, you eventually both sat in a comfortable silence, holding each others' hand in peace. Then, Max's voice broke through the silence.

"You asked me earlier if I had only brought you out here to make you feel better.." He started, looking over at me as if to ask if he could continue. You hummed in agreement before he continued, pulse quickening as you had started to question how this would fix your worries once again. "I'd actually been planning this for a while now. I wanted to get you out somewhere nicer but, after what you had said earlier..." His voice trailed off, his eyes falling to the ground.

You felt that twinge of guilt swell back up in your gut.

"I figured being away from people and their opinions would be good for us." To my surprise, he looked at you with another one of his beautiful smiles. You could feel the ice melting from your heart. Max had started to look a little nervous.

"When I look into your eyes, the only thing that I can see is perfection. I'd thank whatever God was out there that you were mine this moment, and I'd beg the same God to allow you to stay mine for the next. You've been on my mind for the last three years, giving me nightmares every night that you'd walk away if I kept prolonging this. After hearing the reason you were upset this afternoon, I knew I couldn't wait any longer, because if I were to lose you, I'd lose it all." He wiped a tear from his eye, pulling a small box from his pocket. "Will you marry me. y/n"

You barely even gave him time to finish his question before you tackled him in a hug.

"Yes, a million times yes!" You were both emotional, giggling messes before Max pulled away for long enough to slip the ring on your finger, causing more tears to escape your eyes.

"Now you know why I never answered your question." He whispered, kissing you softly as you both watched the sun disappear behind the horizon. "I'm sorry that I worried you further, if I had. I just didn't want to give anything away."

"I'm just glad that I was only overthinking and it wasn't a reality." He chuckled.

"Like I said, Schatje, we're the ones that determine whether or not we are going to make it and how far we go. Let's not listen to anyone else about that, yeah?" You smiled up at him, a tear falling once more as you leaned in to kiss him.

"Yeah."

... I won't grow up missing a piece of my heart that you hold

... I won't have these nightmares because I let you know

... That if I ever lose you, I lose it all

~Sam Tompkins

[elderwisp]

hi! Im so sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, I've looked for answers for this before so I'm just not sure,,

i absolutely adore your sims and your story! Its completely inspired me to create a story w/ my sims as well! the only thing is I'm quite overwhelmed with it all and I don't know where to start :(

do you have any tips? Whats your process? there's so many things to use and I'm just curious what you use! Thanks in advance and no pressure to answer if this is the wrong place :))<33

HAI :D OMG EXCITING <3 no worries! my inbox is always open for assistance and i'd love to help! here's a bunch of tips ranging from writing to technical to artsy stuff:

the start:

⟡ i should preface this story did not begin as one typically would which is say following the example of how to write a novel in a year. my writing style for this project started out with my interest in the characters created. my desire to wanting to know why certain oc's acted the way they did and that's where it all began. what started out as short stories of certain individuals reworked into something much more authentic. this was the hook for me so you gotta find that one sliver of interest and run with it. you can most certainly utilize tools like character sheets, pinboards, storyboards to assist you but i find that if i'm not connected to the story, it's difficult to use them

⟡ with that being said LOL invest the time in fleshing out your character because when you understand how they work, when you believe in them, the easier it'll be in creating scenes and writing dialogue. for me, it's almost intuitive writing for characters to the point where i will easily check myself and rewrite a scene because it didn't align with a certain character

⟡ while the influence of your own ideals/experiences eventually bleed into an oc, it's important to identify that, otherwise a cast of diverse characters eventually feel the same. this was something i struggled with for years which is why i could never really begin until now!

⟡ it's good to ask yourself what sort of story do you want to create. the best question is is it plot driven or character driven? what sort of tone do you want to set? do you want to blend them? i think there's a huge stress on just doing things for fun and not taking things seriously but i do want to challenge others to consider what that might look like for others. sometimes people like to create grand posts or fun slice of life posts and neither is more valid than the other. it's truly up to the author

technical stuff:

⟡ i'm gonna be honest with you, i'm not as organized as i once was in how i go about plotting things however! in the beginning, i would utilize sticky notes with ideas written on them and then shuffle around how i wanted things to play out. now i use a dingy little notebook LMAO but i've heard good things about milanote! as for dialogue, i do use google docs but i do think they're under fire for using your things for ai training or somethin O_O

⟡ i do use photoshop to edit my photos and that usually looks like cropping, color/contrast enhancing and sharpening. i do add dialogue last because when i sharpen it all together, the font looks cwispy! there's this mini tut by @/stinkrascal on how to format the text so it's all even if that's the style you're going for! anyways it changed my LIFE lmao! right here are some free alternatives. also this is an older post in which i shared my process and it includes some tips and tricks with photoshop (you can also see how i used to format text lmaooo)

⟡ knowledge is power. if i find myself really struggling with certain aspects, like maybe the logistics of a character, i'll set aside some time to learn from certain authors, commentators or directors. even if it's a short clip of seeing how they approach something as simple as their thought process behind how a scene supported a character to something as small as the significance of Isha's hat from Arcane

misc writing tips:

⟡ ooh! because tessellate is such a large group of characters, it can be challenging to structuring a plot. so i started off by slowly introducing characters rather than all at once. i also break up character plots into arcs but with that comes filler episodes to help space out big moments. i like to utilize filler episodes as bite sized pieces that introduces the readers to newer characters while also allowing there to be breaks in between. those filler posts highlight certain events, ways of living, etc that might influence how things play out in the future. a good example is kai, we're nearing the end of his arc but all of those little moments in between really helped shaped how things played out!

⟡ when i think of conflict, i think of it a lot like a boiling pot. it starts out at a neutral temperature (your foundation), before bubbles begin to form (minor annoyances between characters), steam hissing (the lead up) to an eventual lid popping off (the conflict). the build up is the most important part to the pay off!

⟡ my best piece of advice for darker themes is really understand the topic and stray away from stereotypes as it diminishes a lot of depth in certain subjects as well as does more harm than good. recognize that at the end of the day a weakness does not define a person as they are a person through and through. approach it with compassion rather than judgement.

⟡ i know i know everyone says to read your dialogue out loud and that is incredibly important however while doing that, think about the flow too. as a writer, because we are goal oriented, sometimes dialogue can be turned into what will progress the plot which makes things feel a bit unnatural and sometimes lacking the proper flow. remember to consider the personality of a character. how is a line delivered through a character who is brash versus one who is a bit more reclusive? also! here's a great video about the stiff dialogue in veilguard that shows what unnatural dialogue can sound like.

⟡ remember, comparison is the thief of joy. it's easy to get caught up in recognition and likes. there was a time where i consistently got 3-5 readers and that was it. there are moments now where certain posts are incredibly inconsistent in engagement and sure, it can be disheartening but then i think about the handful of individuals that consistently comment, the specific asks about how a certain post made them feel seen and interact and i remember why it's i chose to write. it isn't the recognition i seek, it's the connection. it's important to have that one thing that gives you the strength to continue because truthfully, things can be inconsistent and that's okay.

the artsy stuff:

⟡ i am a huge fan of cinema, animation and photography. i think consuming a lot of media and art has helped train my eye especially if i feel as if my screenshots are becoming repetitive. it's good to see how different directors go about framing dialogue. comic panels are amazing as well since artists find new unique ways of captivating an audience through levels like coloring, framing, posing and such! it's honestly why i introduced some vertical shots to black out bars in story posts because of that unique angle! remember, media is meant to inspire you! after watching the latest season of Arcane (haven't finished it yet tho) it genuinely relit a fire under my ass LMAO

⟡ different angles, lighting and positioning can help elevate a story. the aesthetics of a story can really add another layer of depth however it's important to remember that it is a supporting role, not the entire role

⟡ i do use my own reshade and i've formatted it to have similarities of a film camera as well as my preference of color correcting. i lean heavier towards contrast, colors and shadows however i always encourage for people to look into what supports their vision the best! the lightroom shader by quint and pd80's contrast/brightness/saturation shader help with color grading in game as they do have sliders that tweak certain colors. the sepia shader is great for adding a cinematic tint but it can conflict with relight and the way the lights are presented. relight of course can add those shadows in lighting. i'll sometimes have two presets, one for up close shots to further shots because sometimes zooming out can create inconsistencies in your preset as things might look to muggy or like a disco ball LOL (ps what helps with that is adjusting bloom if used and messing around with shadows/midtones/highlights/saturation with that lightroom shader)

last but not least, a story is a labor of love, it's a tool in which authors can utilize the pen to their own manner whether it's to communicate ideas or to simply tell a tale. don't be afraid to dive deep into the layers of your story and remember each piece can be important factor but it's entirely up to you as to where you want that focus to be. it does take a lot of courage to start but i truly believe if it's something you cherish, it'll always be worth it!

i do wish you the best of luck! thank you for trusting me enough to give you some tips and tricks! i tried to lean more into the more finite details as i felt like this is what truly helped me throughout the years! <3 also here is a complimentary meme i made:

[lovemyromance]

Do ... do people not understand that the "classic" SJM love interest switch up is already happening... ?

Anti-Elriels love to make the argument that SJM never has a FMC end up with her first love interest (false: see Nesta & Cassian, see Bryce & Hunt) and therefore Elriel is not endgame.

Except. Y'all are failing to realize that Elain's "First Love Interest" isn't Azriel.

Some people would say it was Greyson. She loved that man. Enough to still hold out hope that he might want her even after she became fae. She wore his ring even after she was Made, and she wanted nothing to do with her mate because she wanted her human fiancée.

Now personally, I liken Elain's love for Greyson to be the same type of off-page relationship/love that Bryce had for Connor (rip). Like yes it's there, it was valid, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not really a focus moving forward.

Elain's actual "first love interest" is Lucien. And I know you might be scoffing - "But all you do is post about how Elucien isn't in love!" - correct. They are not in love. I don't believe they will ever fall in love. But I still believe Lucien is her "first love interest" because in the context of this argument specifically, "first love interests" are used as a bait and switch. They are one, among several options available to the FMC as she goes on her journey.

Elain may not love Lucien, but his mating bond with her is essentially the thing that creates drama-tension-intrigue. It becomes a "Will they or won't they" situation with the mating bond in play, and regardless of their current feelings for each other, it automatically makes Lucien a love interest for Elain. By that - I really just mean he is an option. Whether she likes it or not - he has a tie to her that she will have to either accept or reject.

And since Lucien declared "You're my mate" the moment Elain got chucked out of the Cauldron - he became a love interest in her story. The first (real option, since Greyson took himself out the competition of vying for her hand).

Elriel only became a real ship in ACCOWAR. Yes they have some subtle moments in ACOMAF that were cute (see: Azriel Allen Poe), but the first real time I thought they could be a thing was in ACOWAR. After Elain was declared to already have a mate.

You know what that creates? Say it with me now- Drama. Tension. Intrigue.

Elain is already technically tied to Lucien, regardless of whether either one of them wants that. But she still starts to develop feels for Azriel. She buys Azriel gifts for Solstice. She gives him permission to kiss her.

The switch is already happening people. The idea of a rejected mating bond is so original and contrarian and so new, it is exactly what SJM needs. And she knows that - because she's out here writing about how the mating bond can be rejected as early as ACOWAR. She's out here having multiple characters question the cauldron, essentially questioning fate. She's out here on the Today show talking about rejected mates.

Literally, verbatim saying "What if the forces put you with the wrong person?"

The "wrong person" here isn't Azriel. Elriel is not just an obstacle on the path to Elucien. It's the other way around, babes. If Elriel was simply just an obstacle, then Lucien would have received a POV, he would've been way more involved as the future MMC. But who is SJM choosing to spotlight? Azriel. He got the BC, he got the feature in CC3. And if you think this is SJM "just planning ahead" LOL. She's not planning ahead and building hype for the MMC two books in advance when she hasn't even tackled the next book yet.

However you look at it, the fates put Elain with Lucien, but she does not want him. Her defying fate to be with Azriel is the most badass thing anyone could do. But I'd expect nothing less from Elain 'Kingslayer' Archeron 💅🏽💅🏽

[forabeatofadrum]

It's Wednesday My Dudes! Thank you @that-disabled-princess, @nausikaaa and @cutestkilla tagging me. Time is an illusion.

I was out and about, not doing much, since it was my birthday. I watched the digital ticket of Starkid's new musical Cinderella's Castle, and I enjoyed it, and I played some viddy games, namely Cult of the Lamb and Splatoon 3. Splatoon 3's come to an end with the great Grand Festival. I hope Kurt and Blaine are bopping to ANOTHER version of Ebb & Flow. Off the Hook keeps releasing new versions of that song and it still slaps.

And after last week's poll, I started The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker. So far, it's not going well for me, up to the point I'm looking into cheats. I can't believe I am unbelievably stuck on the first dungeon.

But because of Wind Waker, I have returneth to writing with the thing no one asked for, me included, namely a Zelda fic!

A little background, but back in 2021, I wrote Any way the wind blows, a fic that's set in Breath of the Wild and it's about Link reuniting with his sister after a hundred years. Then, fast forward to 2023: Tears of the Kingdom came out and the character of Purah has been doing scientific fuckery with her age. Maybe some of you remember this, but after that game came out I spent some of these SSS/WW posts talking about a possible sequel for Any way the wind blows. Welp, seeing the Link and Aryll of Wind Waker interact brought all of those thoughts back and last night, underneath my blanky, my mind started writing it. So under the cut there's some words of Easy come, easy go, will you let me go, because yes, I even came up with a title.

Kiana knows Aryll is old. Everyone in Lurelin knows Aryll is old. She's called the village elder for a reason. She'll be turning a hundred and twelve. If she manages to make it. Everyone's noticed that Aryll's grown even more tired than before. She spents most of her days inside, even though the villagers have made the outside more accessible. A few weeks ago, she only went outside when her brother came to visit. The two of them would sit by the ocean. But now, that's also stopped. To be fair, now that the Calamity is over, Link spends more time at Lurelin. Before, he would only visit once a week. After, he practically moved here. But Link and Aryll spend most of their time inside Aryll's hut and Link's also started roaming around Lurelin without her, because she's often asleep when he's around. Kiana knows Aryll's lived a good life without regrets. If it hadn't been for Link returning, she'd be at peace with Aryll slowly fading away, but Aryll's had to miss her brother for almost a hundred years and it feels cruel to have it end. Sebasto argues that maybe this is the way it is. The Goddesses have kept Aryll alive so that she could be reunited, but now that's happened, and it's time to move on, but Kiana cannot accept that. Kiana knows she can't stop death. No one can, not even the most advanced scientists in Hyrule, but when she overhears Zelda and Link discuss the aging experiments of one of their friends, Kiana starts to think.

I'd like to write this fic in the same style as the first one, which alternated between the present and Aryll's stories about the past, but I have no clue how to do that. Ah. We'll see. I gotta finish it first.

And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @coffeegleek @caramelcoffeeaddict @raenestee @tectonicduck 

@nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer

@special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral

@artsyunderstudy​ @facewithoutheart​ @shrekgogurt @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites 

@whatevertheweather @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @esilher @kurtsascot @blackberrysummerblog 

@nightimedreamersghost @ivelovedhimthroughworse @thnxforknowingme @martsonmars

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

Assigning Every Fall Out Boy Song to The Life Series

because i'm a normal person with normal person feelings about fall out boy's discography and the life series. trust me.

“every” is a strong word here because fall out boy's discography is Literally Like 150+ Songs so i’m only doing the songs off their main 8 albums in this post. if enough people ask (which i seriously doubt will happen), i’ll do the eps+remixes as well.

sorry if there is an overabundance of certain characters/a lack of certain characters. i tried to include people are frequently as possible but a: i am inherently biased (though some of my faves are pretty underrepresented), b: not everyone has the same amount of content to draw from because they haven't all been in every season and c: some of these guys are simply not fall out boy characters to me. it's just how it is.

so, under the cut will be, in release order, every fall out boy song assigned to a life series character/event+the lyric that i think best represents why i assigned it.

TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE

Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today: DL!Pearl

To my favorite liar, to my favorite scar (to my favorite scar!)/I could have died with you/I hope you choke on those words that kiss that bottle/Confess (so bury me in memory)

Dead on Arrival: SL!Gem and Pearl (Gem POV)

This is side one, flip me over/I know I'm not your favorite record/The songs you grow to like never stick at first/So I'm writing you a chorus, and here is your verse/No, it's not the last time, 'cause I'd never say no to you/This conversation's still dead on arrival/And there's no way to talk to you/When you're dead on

Grand Theft Autumn / Where Is Your Boy: DL!Etho (JUST TRUST ME. AND ALSO GO WATCH THE BIT WHERE FINDS OUT BDUBS+IMPULSE ARE SOULMATES)

When I wake up/I'm willing to take my chances on/The hope I'd forget that you hate him more than you notice/I wrote this for you (for you, so…)/You need him, I could be him/I could be an accident, but I'm still trying/And that's more than I can say for him/Where is your boy tonight?/I hope he is a gentleman

Saturday: SL!Gem

Pete and I attacked the laws of Astoria with promise and precision/And mess of youthful innocence/And I read about the afterlife, but I never really lived/More than an hour (More than an hour)/When I say/Two more weeks, my foot is in the door, yeah/I can't sleep, in the wake of Saturday

Homesick at Space Camp: Post 3L!Skizz

Tonight is all about "We miss you" now/These friends are, new friends are golden

Sending Postcards From a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here): Post DL!Joel

Every friend we ever had in common/I will sever the tie, sever the tie with you/You can thank your lucky stars/Everything I wish for will never come true/When you go, I will forget everything about you

Chicago Is So Two Years Ago: LimL!Martyn

You want apologies, girl, you might hold your breath/Until your breathing stops forever, forever/The only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips/I hope they taste of me forever

The Pros and Cons of Breathing: DL!Pearl

Woah, I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself/You know that I could crush you with my voice/Stood on my roof and tried to see you/Forgetting about me/Hide the details/I don't want to know a thing

Grenade Jumper: The Heart Foundation

They'll say it's not worth it, so we'll leave this town in ruin/Living like life's going out of style, and you came to watch us play/Like a "big shot talent", but at the end of the day you know/Woah, those busted lips we take back home

Calm Before The Storm: DL!Ren

You said/Between your smiles and regrets/"Don't say it's over"/Dead and gone, dead and gone, yeah

Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over: DL!Jimmy and Tango

I can't wake up to these reminders of who I am/A failure at everything, 18 going on extinct/I know my place, it's nowhere you should roam

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes: SL!Jimmy

I'm all ears and I'm all scars/To hear you tell me, "Boys like you, you try too hard/To look not quite as desperate," I'm hanging on/But I still know the way to make your makeup run/So, and when it all goes to Hell, will you be able to tell/Me "sorry" with a straight face?

FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE

Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued: 3L!Impulse

We're only liars but we're the best (We're the best)/We're only good for the latest trends/We're only good 'cause you can have almost famous friends/Besides, we've got such good fashion sense

Of All The Gin Joints In All The World: 3L!Ren and Martyn

You only hold me up like this/'Cause you don't know who I really am/Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you

Dance, Dance: DL!Bigb and Ren (Ren perspective, also this is specifically applicable most antagonistic moments of their relationship we get, to be clear. This is not the usual approach I take to them.)

You always fold just before you're found out/Drink up it's last call/Last resort, but only the first mistake, and I/I'm two quarters and a heart down/And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds/These words are all I have so I'll write them/So you need them just to get by/Why don't you show me a little bit of spine/You've been saving for his mattress, love

Sugar, We’re Goin Down: Martyn

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)/And sugar, we're going down swingin' (Take back what you said)/I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)/A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner: LL!Cleo

I keep my jealousy close/'Cause it's all mine/And if you say this makes you happy, then I'm not the only one/Lyin'

I’ve Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Songs): Joel

Joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of "best friends"/We're the kids who feel like dead ends/And I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses/I took a shot and didn't even come close

7 Minutes In Heaven (Atavan Halen): LimL!Grian

Sitting out dances on the wall/Trying to forget everything that isn't you/I'm not going home alone/'Cause I don't do too well on my own

Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year: SL!Skizz

We're the therapists pumping through your speakers/Delivering just what you need/We're well-read and poised/We're the best boys/We're the chemists who've found the formula/To make your heart swell and burst/No matter what they say/Don't believe a word

Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends: DL!Joel and Etho

Strike us like matches, 'cause everyone deserves the flames/We only do it for the scars and stories, not the fame/At least everyone is trying, everyone is shining/Everyone deserves the flames but it's such a shame, such a shame

I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me: Scott

I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends/And I am sorry my conscience called in sick again/And I've got arrogance down to a science/Oh, and I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends, now

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Touch Me”: LL!BigB

I confess, I messed up/Dropping "I'm sorry" like you're still around/And I know you dressed up/"Hey, kid, you'll never live this down"/And you're just the girl all the boys wanna dance with/And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances/I'm sleepin' on your folks' porch again, dreamin'/She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows): DL!Grian and Scar (Scar POV)

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)/Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one/And it's mind over you don't, don't matter

XO: LL!Mumbo (Look, this is a stretch, I'll be real, but this song was giving me so much fucking trouble. Let me live.)

To the "love," I left my conscience/Pressed between the pages of/The Bible in the drawer, "What did it ever do for me"/I say/It never calls me when I'm down/Love never wanted me, but I took it anyway/Put your ear to the speaker and choose love or sympathy/But never both, love never wanted me

Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches And Walkers: SL!Tango

Here's a picture with a note, "No, don't turn out like me"/It's only for your own good/No-oh, oh, oh/And haven't you heard, the word on the street is/"I lost it, called it quits," get out into the sun

The Music Or The Misery: LL!Bdubs and Etho (Etho perspective)

I got your love letters, corrected the grammar and sent them back/It's true, romance is dead, I shot it in the chest then in the head/And if you wanna go down in history then I'm your friend/Because they've got me in a band where I've never seen a heart I couldn't break

INFINITY ON HIGH

Thriller: SL!Scar

Last summer, we took threes across the board/But by fall, we were a cover story, "Now in stores"/Make us poster boys for your scene/But we are not making an acceptance speech

“The Take Over, The Breaks Over”: LimL!Cleo

Wouldn't you rather be a widow than a divorcee?/Style your wake for fashion magazines, oh-oh-oh/Widow or a divorcee?/Don't pretend, d-d-d-don't pretend/We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces/We're trapped and well concealed in secret places/We don't fight fair

This Ain’t A Scene. It’s An Arms Race: SL!Scar

I am an arms dealer/Fitting you with weapons in the form of words/And don't really care which side wins/Long as the room keeps singing/That's just the business I'm in

I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You): SL!Jimmy and Martyn

We're the new face of failure/Prettier and younger, but not any better off/Bulletproof loneliness/At best, at best

Hum Hallelujah: LL!Cleo

I thought I loved you, it was just how you looked in the light/A teenage vow in a parking lot/'Til tonight do us part/I sing the blues and you swallow them too/My words are my faith, to hell with our good name

Golden: Joel (LimL especially, but also just in general)

How cruel is the golden rule/When the lives we lived are only golden-plated?/And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me/Though I carried carats for everyone to see/And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies/And all the lovers with no time for me/And all of the mothers raise their babies/To stay away from me

Thnks fr th Mmrs: LimL!BigB and Pearl

Been looking forward to the future/But my eyesight is going bad/And this crystal ball…/It's always cloudy except for (Except for…)/When you look into the past (Look into the past…)/One night stand…/One night stand off!

Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?: LimL!Skizz

They say quitters never win/But we walk the plank on a sinking ship/There's a world outside of my front door/That gets off on being down/Oh-oh, oh-oh/I could learn to pity fools as I'm the worst of all/And I can't stop feeling sorry for myself, whoa-oh

The (After) Life Of The Party: Scar, again. I don't know what to tell you, this is a very Scar album.

I'm a stitch away from making it/And a scar away from falling apart, apart/Blood cells pixelate and eyes dilate/And the full moon pills got me out on the street at night

The Carpal Tunnel Of Love: LL!Mumbo and Jimmy

Tired yawns for fawns on hunter's lawns/We're the has-beens of husbands/Sharpening the knives of young wives/Take two years and call me when you're better

Bang The Doldrums: DL+LimL!Jimmy and Tango

The tombstones were waiting, they were half-engraved/They knew it was over, they just didn't know the date…/And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me/The same way I think of you/This is a love song in my own way/Happily ever after below the waist/Best friends, ex-friends 'til the end/Better off as lovers

Fame > Infamy: LL!Joel

I am God's gift, but why would he bless me with/Such wit without a conscience equipped/I'm addicted to the way I feel when I think of you, whoa/There's too much green to feel blue

You’re Crashing, But You’re No Wave: This is far from the only FOB song about a sensitive topic but it's one of the like... two that I don't feel comfortable assigning to something.

I’ve Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers: DL!BigB

You're a canary, I'm a coal mine/'Cause sorrow is just all the rage/Take one for the team/You all know what I mean/And I'm so sorry but not really/Tell the boys where to find my body

G.I.N.A.S.F.S.: DL!Impulse and Bdubs

Trade baby blues for wide eyed browns/I sleep with your old shirts and walk through this house in your shoes/You know, it's strange/It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you/I'm supposed to love you/I've already given up on myself twice/Third time is the charm, third time is the charm/Threw caution to the wind, but I've got a/Lousy arm

It’s Hard To Say “I Do”, When I Don’t: Am I allowed to say this is a Watchers song? I don't care I'm saying it.

I speak fast and I'm not gonna repeat myself, no/So listen carefully to every word I say/I'm the only one who's gonna get away/With making excuses today/You're appealing to emotions that I simply do not have

FOLIE A DEUX

Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes: Impulse

Oh, I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine/What a match, I'm half-doomed, and you're semi-sweet/So boycott love, detox just to retox/And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life

I Don’t Care: LL!Fairy Fort

Let the leaves fall off in the summer/And let December glow in flames (In flames; oh)/Erase myself and let go/Start it over again in Mexico/These friends, they don't love you/They just love the hotel suites now

She’s My Winona: SL!Martyn

We didn't come to compete, this is a demonstration/Even the young ones become irrelevant/They always bring up how you've changed

America’s Suitehearts: SL!Gem

Let's hear it for America's suitehearts, but I must confess/I'm in love with my own sins/You can bow and pretend that/You don't, don't know you're a legend, oh/Time, time, time hasn't told anyone else yet

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet: LimL+SL!Cleo, Bdubs, and Etho

Does your husband know the way that/The sunshine gleams from your wedding band?/Does he know the way, does he know the way/Of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night?/But I will never end up like him/Behind my back, I already am

The (Shipped) Gold Standard: LimL!Bdubs

All the yes-men said "No comment"/My mouth got going/The wrong way, and all the calls started snowing/The time my dad caught me a horseshoe crab/And I asked him if throwing it back into the sea would bring our luck back/I wanna scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs/But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me

(Coffee’s For Closers): LL!BigB

Though change will come, oh, change will come/I will never believe in anything again/We will never believe again/Kick drum beating in my chest again/No, we will never believe again/Preach electric to a microphone stand, oh

What A Catch, Donnie: This song is a compilation of different vocalists from bands associated with the band, a compilation of previous songs of theirs, and one of the only FOB ballads. I can't pull a specific lyric, but this one could be solidly used for a compilation/retrospective of every season so far.

27: This is the other one I don't feel comfortable assigning to anything. Moving on.

Tiffany Blews: SL!Lizzie

I'm not a crybaby/I'm the crybaby/A caterpillar that got stuck/Mr. Moth, come quick with any luck/A long walk to a dark house/A Roman candle heart, keep us far apart/I'm cocktail party doin' alright, hate me baby/Maybe I'm a piece of art/Oh, my friends all lie and say/They only want the best wishes for me

w. a. m. s.: LL!Mumbo

I'm a young one stuck in the thoughts/Of an old one's head/When all the others were just stirrin' awake/I'm tryin' to trick myself to fall asleep again, whoa

20 Dollar Nose Bleed: Dogwarts

When I look at the man who would be king, the man who would be king/Goes to the desert, the same war his dad rehearsed/Came back with flags on coffins and said, "We won, oh, we won"/Permanent jet lag, please take me back (Please take me back)/Please take me back, (ooh, ooh)/I'm a stray dog sick, please let me in

West Coast Smoker: SL!Joel

Wishes bounce me weightless/The infrared scope on pointlessness/The bulls are sedated/And this fight's fixed

Pavlove: SL!Tango

Something make my chest stir/Something make my head blur/Oh, oh, I'm not ready for a handshake with death, no/Oh, oh, I'm just such a happy mess, whoa

SAVE ROCK AND ROLL

The Phoenix: Team TIES

Bring home the boys in scraps, scrap metal the tanks/Get hitched, make a career out of robbing banks/Because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks/"You broke our spirit," says the note we pass

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up): LL!Cleo

I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see/That you're the antidote to everything except for me/Through a constellation of tears on your lashes/Burn everything you love then burn the ashes

Alone Together: The Roomies (Cleo, Etho, and Grian)

I don't know where you're going/But do you got room for one more troubled soul?/I don't know where I'm going/But I don't think I'm coming home/And I said, "I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead"/This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end

Where Did The Party Go: LL!Tango

I'm here to collect your hearts/It's the only reason that I sing/I don't believe a word you say/But I can't stop listening

Just One Yesterday: LL!Bdubs and Etho

If heaven's grief brings hell's rain/Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday/(I know I'm bad news)/For just one yesterday/(I saved it all for you)

The Mighty Fall: DL!Divorce Quartet

Your crooked love is just a pyramid scheme and I'm dizzy on dreams/(And I'm dizzy on dreams)/But if you ask me two's a whole lot lonelier than one/Baby, we should have left our love in the gutter where we found it/(Gutter where we found it)/'Cause you think, you think your only crime is that you got caught

Miss Missing You: Impulse and Bdubs (Impulse POV)

Baby, you were my picket fence, I miss missing you now and then/Chlorine kissed summer skin, I miss missing you now and then/Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger/The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger/Oh, we're fading fast, I miss missing you now and then

Death Valley: This is the soundtrack to the LL Battle Royale Finale

We're going to die, it's just a matter of time/Hard times come, good times go/I'm either gone in an instant/Or here 'til the bitter end, I never know

Young Volcanoes: The Heart Foundation

C'mon, make it easy, say I never mattered/Run it up the flag pole/We will teach you how to make boys next door/Out of assholes (Hahaha!)/Tonight, the foxes hunt the hounds/It's all over now

Rat A Tat: LL!Grian and Mumbo (mostly Grian POV)

But I'll take your heart served up two ways/I sing a bitter song/I'm the lonelier version of you/I just don't know where it went wrong

Save Rock And Roll: DL!Pearl

I cried tears you'll never see/So fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean, and leave me be/You are what you love, not who loves you/In a world full of the word 'yes', I'm here to scream/No, no (No, no)/Wherever I go, go (go, go)/Trouble seems to follow

AMERICAN BEAUTY/AMERICAN PSYCHO

Irresistible: SL!Gem and Pearl (Gem POV)

Count me in unannounced, drag my nails on the tile/I just follow your scent/You can't just follow my smile/All of your flaws are aligned with this mood of mine/Cutting me to the bone/Nothing left to leave behind/You ought to keep me concealed just like I was a weapon/I didn't come for a fight but I will fight till the end/This might be your battle, might not turn out okay/You know you look so Seattle, but you feel so LA

American Beauty/American Psycho: LL!Scott

I think I fell in love again/Maybe I just took too much cough medicine/I'm the best worst thing that hasn't happened to you yet/The best worst thing/You take the full, full truth, then you pour some out/You take the full, full truth, then you pour some out/And you can kill me, kill me or let God sort ‘em out

Centuries: LimL!Martyn

And I can't stop 'til the whole world knows my name/Cause I was only born inside my dreams/Until you die for me, as long as there's a light, my shadow's over you/Cause I am the opposite of amnesia

The Kids Aren’t Alright: The Mounders

It twists my head just a bit to think/All those people in those old photographs I've seen are dead/And in the end/I'd do it all again/I think you're my best friend

Uma Thurman: 3L!Cleo

You'll find your way/And may death find you alive/Take me down the line/In Gem City, we turn the tide

Jet Pack Blues: Impulse and Bdubs

Honey, don't you leave/Don't you remember how we used to split a drink?/It never mattered what it was, I think/Our heads were just that close/The sweetness never lasts, you know

Novocaine: Guess what, it's Joel again. I'm not even a Joel main why is this happening.

In the truly gruesome do we trust/I will always land on you like a sucker punch/Singing I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare

Fourth Of July: LL!Lizzie and Cleo (Lizzie POV)

I said I'd never miss you/But I guess you never know/May the bridges I have burned/Light my way back home on the fourth of July/I wish I'd known how much you loved me/I wish I cared enough to know

Favorite Record: Post DL!Jimmy

You were the song stuck in my head/Every song that I've ever loved/Play it again and again and again/And you can get what you want but it's never enough

Immortals: 3L!Grian and Scar

I am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass, glass (Glass)/(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)/Oh, I try to picture me without you, but I can’t/'Cause we could be immortals/Immortals/Just not for long, for long/And live with me forever now/Mmm, pull the blackout curtains down/Just not for long, for long

Twin Skeleton’s (Hotel In NYC): SL!Martyn and Jimmy

I just need enough of you to dull the pain/Just to get me through the night 'till we're twins again/'Til we're stripped down to our skeletons again/'Til we're saints just swimming in our sins again/And there's a jet black crow droning on and on and on/Up above our heads droning on and on and on/Keep making trouble 'til you find what you love/I need a new partner in crime and you, you shrug that

MANIA

Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea: 3L!Ren

I'm 'bout to go Tonya Harding on the whole world's knee/And I'm stuck, night vision, so stuck, night vision/But I come to life, come to life/Some princes don't become kings/Even at the best of times, I'm out of my mind/You only get what you grieve

The Last Of The Real Ones: Bdubs

My head is stripped, just like a screw that's been tightened too many times/When I think of you, when I think of you/I will shield you from the waves if they find you/I will protect you, I will protect you/Just tell me, tell me, tell me I, I am the only one/Even if it's not true, even if it's not true, yeah

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T: DL+LimL!Etho and Joel

I got too high again, realized I can't not be with you/Or be just your friend, I love you to death, but I just can't/I just can't pretend, we weren't lovers first/Confidants but never friends, were we ever friends?/But when your stitch comes loose, I wanna sleep on/Every piece of fuzz and stuffing that comes out of you/You, I took too many hits off this memory/I need to come down/An-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nother day goes by/So hold me tight, hold me tight, or don't/Oh n-n-no, no, this isn't how our story ends

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes): LL!Bdubs

There's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you (but you)/Than to be loved by everybody but you, (but you) but you/If I could get my shit together/I'm gonna run away and never see any of you again/Never see any of you again/I hope the roof flies off and we get blown out into space/I-I always make such expensive mistakes

Church: SL!Lizzie

I love the world/But I just don't love the way it makes me feel/Got a few more fake friends/And it's getting hard to know what's real/And if death is the last appointment/Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room (Mr. Stump?)/I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom

Heaven’s Gate: LimL!Skizz (right at the end)

I got dreams of my own, but I want to make yours come true/So please come through, honey please, please come through/Oh, go out in the world, start over again and again/As many times as you can

Champion: SL!Pearl

I got rage every day, on the inside/The only thing I do is sit around and kill the time/I'm trying to blow out the pilot light/I'm trying to blow out the light/I'm just young enough to still believe, still believe/But young enough not to know what to believe in/Young enough not to know what to believe/If I can live through this, if I can live through this/If I can live through this, I can do anything

Sunshine Riptide: LL!Scott

The world tried to burn all the mercy outta me/But you know I wouldn't let it/It tried to teach me the hard way, I can't forget it

Young And Menace: LimL!Martyn

We've gone way too fast for way too long/And we were never supposed to make it half this far/And I lived so much life, lived so much life/I think that God is gonna have to kill me twice

Bishops Knife Trick: Bad Boys

I got a feeling inside that I can't domesticate/It doesn't wanna live in a cage, a feeling that I can't housebreak/And I'm yours 'til the earth starts to crumble and the heavens roll/Away, I'm struggling to exist with you and without you, yeah

SO MUCH (FOR) STARDUST

Love From The Other Side: SL!Etho

I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh, got to give up/Get the feeling, get the feeling, don't fight it, fight it/Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse/And I just about snapped, don't look back/Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand

Heartbreak Feels So Good: 3L!Grian

Is there a word for bad miracle?/Nobody said the road was endless/Nobody said the climb was friendless/But could we please pretend this won't end?

Hold Me Like A Grudge: DL!Pearl

(You put the "fun" into dysfunction)/Hold me, hold me like a grudge/The world is always spinning, and I can't keep up, woah/Faster and faster, can't do it on my own/Part-time soulmate, full-time problem, yeah/So hold me like a grudge

Fake Out: SL!Lizzie

But I didn't take the love when I had the chance/But I swear I'm not sad anymore/So make no plans and none can be broken/No plans and none can be broken/Do you laugh about me whenever I leave?/Or do I still need more therapy?

Heaven, Iowa: 3L!Scar

And they don't know how much they’ll miss/At least until you're gone like this/Talking to the mirror, say, "Save your breath/Half your life you've been hooked on death"

So Good Right Now: DL!Bdubs

And I know, I know I've made mistakes, yeah/And I know, I know, but at least they were mine to make/They were mine to make/And all of our wildest dreams, they just end up with a-you and me/So, let's drive until the engine just gives out

The Pink Seashell: Ok, I cannot pull a lyric for this because it is the world’s most specific monologue, but the general message of it (“Life is a lottery and bad shit happens all the time, so might as well find happiness in the good things, even the small things.”) feels like it could be Skizz. Just trust me. This one is so fucking difficult.

I Am My Own Muse: LimL!Jimmy

Here I am, not sure you should take a chance/I like playin' dumb, lettin' you figure me out/But I was faded, in my own defense/So, drop a bomb on all the things we dreamed about

Flu Game: SL!Joel

Last night I dreamt I still knew you/You/I carved out a place in this world for two/But it's empty without you/I got all this love I've got to keep to myself/All this effort to make it look effortless

Baby Annihilation: Scott

The first time I took the mask off, just had another one on underneath

The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years): LimL+ SL!Martyn (but mostly LimL)

Passed my old street, the house I grew up in/It breaks your heart, but four of the Ramones are dead/I felt you at the beginning, but needed you at the end/We're goin' low, low, low, low

What A Time To Be Alive: SL!Bigb

When, when, when I said, "Leave me alone", this isn't quite what I meant/I got the quarantine blues, bad news, what's left?/So, it seems the vulture's gettin' too full to fly, oh/What a time to be alive

So Much (For) Stardust: Ren

I'm in a winter mood, dreamin' of spring now/Burnin' myself down, burnin' myself down, burnin'/I feel like something that's been stretched out over and over again/Until I'm creased, and I'm about to break down the middle/Split me right down the middle, right, right down the middle, yeah

[thesilliestofgals]

Decided that I needed some writing practice, so I'm taking a shot at writing a scene from @xbomboi's EAH arc, Fable Fest. It's a great fan creation of what could've been, so please go read it!

Fair warning, this is my first time writing using canon characters AND fanon characters, so this may not turn out like my other writing. I hope I got Deter's and Wanda's characterizations down well. Enjoy!

"Look," Deter began, "We don't like you." At "you", he pointed his clapped hands towards the two royalty standing before him and Wanda.

I can't believe I had to say that. What are we, spellementary students?

Apple made a sound similar to that of a kicked dog's, and Raven face fell from confusion to disbelief.

The short blonde was quick to regain her posture, though to without squared shoulders and clasped hands. "But why?" Apple gasped out. "That isn't fairest!"

Isn't fairest? That "isn't fairest?" Is she joking?

Deter chuckled bitterly. "I'll tell you why, Apple White," he replied, the embers of anger sparking to life, "You fairytale royalty act all high and mighty," he moved his hands in a quick, grand flourish, "while you couldn't care less about what happens to us." At that, his hands dropped back into a tight cross on his body.

Wanda pushed up her glasses, eyes like flint as she lifted her chin. "It's true."

Apple stepped forward, ignoring Raven's attempt to pull her back. "That's not true!" the blonde fired back, "Everyone plays an important part." She nodded firmly to herself, while Raven winced like she'd been stung.

Deter scoffed. I can't believe this girl is supposed to be the queen someday. "In what, your stories?" He jabbed a finger towards Apple, mouth quirking into a mocking smirk. "What about those that aren't in them? What do they matter, your future highness?"

Apple stumbled back like she'd been slapped, eyes glassy. Raven's body flared a bright purple, before settling as she stepped forward. "Hey, back off." She glanced back at her friend, eyes softening, before turning back to Deter. "She's learning." The blonde perked up, her smile returning. Deter fought the urge to roll his eyes.

Guess little miss trailblazer needs a wake-up call, too.

"You're no better than her, Raven Queen."

Raven's brow furrowed, and her expression turned back to confusion. "What?"

This time, nothing deterred Deter from letting his eyes roll with a scoff. "They call you the rebel of all rebels, but I'd hardly call what what you've started a rebellion."

"Excuse me?" Her voice was sharper now, but Wanda's low chuckle and nod of encouragement to Deter fueled the burning rage in his throat.

Like a lion with a gazelle, he circled her, going in for the kill.

"Sure, you may think you "freed everyone from the chains of destiny", he retorted, putting emphasis with air quotes, "but that's only for the same people who've always had fairytales."

Her head swung as he waltzed, sparkling flames leaking from her clenched fists. "I'm fighting so that we can all have the freedom to choose our own stories."

This girl...! She really doesn't understand. Deter barked out a pained laugh. "All, huh? you really think that?"

Wanda clicked her tongue. "If any of us did what you've done, we'd be locked up in a dungeon."

"What!?" Apple's already porcelain face paled, and Deter fought back a vicious grin. Good. Her ignorance truly would be her downfall.

Deter could see Wanda's frustration grow as she sighed, long and hard, as though she was a teacher dealing with a particularly thick skulled student, leaning her head back and rubbing between her eyes before she locked in on Apple, lips curled back. "Fairytale society is designed to favor individuals with prestigious stories." Like yours, Deter thought, "Meanwhile, the rest of us are stuck living in them."

Deter stopped back in front of Raven. "That's what's not fairest." His smirk widened as Apple withered before his very eyes.

"I-I didn't know..." Her voice faded off, and she shrunk further into herself as Deter and Wanda glared.

That's right, you didn't, because you were too absorbed of yourself and your stupid Happily Ever After.

Wanda straightened and dusted off her clothes, her eyes still trained on the blonde. "Precisely why we must win. If our school beats Ever After High, everyone will be left with no choice but to acknowledge us for a change."

With the nail in the coffin, Deter turned sharply on his heel, hustling past Raven and knocking shoulders with her for good measure. Wanda followed, stalking past a wilted Apple and a shaking Raven.

Headmaster Perrault would be proud.

Turning his head, Deter snarked, "But good luck, right? You're surely gonna need it."

-------------------------------

And that's all! I hope this was good. None of these characters are mind, and I once again recommend reading Fable Fest!

[watermelonsugacry]

OK I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I WANNA TALK 2 U ABOUT SO HERE IS ME RANTING AND PUTTING QUESTIONS:

I lovehe relationship yn has w the tomlinsons😫 like how she has a secrete handshake with the twins and how lottie is like her little sister and LOUIS IS LITERALLY A DREAM FRIENDSHIP

I have this thing where i like to think that yn was a big fan of paramore, and she also wrote some hits like only exeption (it just screams her and also it reminds me of how she would feel abt harry)

I also see her writing 'girl crush' when harry and taylor were dating and then saling it in 2014 but idk thats just me

And am i the only one who sees a PERFERT friendship between her and jennifer lawrence??

OK NOW I GOT SOME QUESTIONS SO HOPE THEY'RE NOT TOO MUCH

Whats the readers networth? Like i know that shes rich but how rich🤔

On a scale of 1-10 how famous is she? Like comparing to a big celebrity like Beyonce is she just as famous or..?

Whats her favorite colour?

Who is more clingy, harry or her?

Besides harry and louis who is her bestfriend that she hangs out w the most

What are some celebrities that got a crush on her and who has made that public

The weeknd has a song 'the party & after party' and it kind of sounds that hes describing a girl like yn "with your louis v bag, tats on your arms, high heels shoes make you 6 feet tall.." so are there some speculations ab this from the fans?

AND LAST is the reader the teaser in the relationship or does harry like to make fun of her more? ( srry if theres any mistakes)

IM ALWAYS DOWN FOR THIS LOVIE 💚

same!! they're family 🥰

funny enough, i actually picture a lot of paramore's music to be the music that yn would make with her band when she was in high school!

in the 1d!yn universe, she wrote Girl Crush!! (I remember talking about it a while ago on here but I forgot what year she wrote & sold it lol)

I don't know much about jennifer lawrence but thats an interesting pair 👀

I'll base it off of ariana grande's net worth at 240 million. But we all know that no number can amount to her actual worth 💅

I'd say that on a scale of 1-10, she's about an 8. She's a household name and an absolute force to be reckoned with. She's the type of famous that she forgets that she is and she'll record herself reacting to tiktoks lying down in bed, make-up free, and just lose her mind laughing. Or there was another time when she took herself out on a brunch date bc Harry went out to play golf that morning. Two girls approached her table and politely greeted her, said how much they loved her and had tickets to see her show that night. But before they could leave, YN invited them to sit with her and spent the rest of the morning eating and chatting with them.

Her favorite color is lavender 💜

Harry is the more clingy of the two! He's always the one who lays himself on top of her when she's about to get out of bed. When they arrive at the stadium he's going to perform at, her hand is constantly intertwined with his. When she's doing some last-minute rehearsals and sound checks, he's sitting at the edge of the room as he watches her work while still giving her her space. Or when she's in her home studio, he insists that she sits in his lap as she works because he's missed her all day, promising that he won't be a distraction to her (even though he totally is). And don't get it twisted, she can be clingy too sometimes; she's just better at hiding it.

Her other good friends that she hangs out with whenever she can are: Abel (the weeknd), Perrie Edwards, and Alisha Davies (an old friend from Doncaster turned choreographer).

oh my gosh where do I even begin?! There's a couple that initially come to mind: Matt Healy, Alex Turner, and Taron Egerton. For some reason, I can hear Matt say in an interview: "YN YLN is totally fit. Yeah, she's a fucking babe she is."

OOO definitely! Fans from both fan bases had speculated that they might have dated in 2017 (they didn't) bc that's when they hung out in public for the first time. Some people still speculate that Abel might have a crush on her til this day.

I'd say they share the teasing role. She throws playful jabs at him left and right, but she's the one who helped coax out that side of him. While they tease one another behind closed doors ALL the time, their favorite time to make fun of each other is at each other's shows.

[idiotwithanipad]

Stolen (part 5)

(Set in my Gore Au. Shortly after @shebeafancyflapjack's A Slip Through Wolrds series. Ft her OC Silver)

Another day had passed by agonisingly slow, still no sign of being discovered by Mary or Humphrey. The creature was still sitting at the entrance of the cave, his eyes scanning through the bushes and brambles, keeping a tight vigil. Silver had challenged herself to a spinning contest; the goal, to see how long it took to spin so fast that her nose started bleeding from both nostrils.

Amy would've laughed if it wasn't for the dire situation that her dizzy friend, luckily, couldn't see. Amy's time was spent tucked away in the corner, gnawing anxiously on her nails, a bad habit. She would've polished off a box of Mayfair Sky Blue no problem - if she had any. On two occasions now, she absentmindedly nibbled against the damaged cuticles, only for the creature to prowl over to her and tug her hand away from her mouth. He'd signed to her 'cub...no...hurt...self'.

He'd heard Silver's hyper spinning and tugged her to the ground to get her to stop, writing on her arm, also telling her to stop for the same reason. Less of the usual annoyance he took to them before, more stern and paternal. A terrifying thought. The girls could play amongst themselves no problem, as long as Silver kept her voice down and Amy didn't clap to loudly, so the basic children's game of Pat-a-cake was quickly out of the question.

Silver had been fussy and dejected at first, but the creature quickly drew her attention elsewhere with ease, which mostly involved scittering his claws along the cave floor to get her attention. When she tried to reach the noise, he put his furred boot in her reach. The blind witchling had quickly mistaken the fur of the creature's boot for a live animal and began petting and fussing at it in awe.

Hours and hours passed in boredom, misery and homesickness. Amy tried to ground herself by twiddling with her hair, something that's always helped her when scared or stressed, but that just cause her to become fidgety, and soon after she began picking at her hangnails again.

"Aww, I hope Mummy let's me keep this cute little guy. Think she will, Ames?" Silver smiled, stroking her fingers along the foot of the creature's boot, still unaware. Amy didn't reply, she couldn't; she was too far away to reach Silver's arm, and any attempt to get closer to her and write was met with a glare from the creature. He didn't trust her not to break the illusion. She's already let slip too much, good thing the happy cub was easily distracted and swayed.

--

Mary difted along through the trees, embers and ash falling slowly from her skeletal hands which hung limp at her sides. She left a scortched trail behind her as she walked, but the leaves and trees didn't burst into flames, only blackened and shriveled to crackling ash. She had no more tears to shed, all her grief was now channelled through her palms, which crackled and expelled sparks and bursts of smoke hotter than lava.

She neared a patch of colour on the ground, prompting her to stop in her tracks. A beautiful little patch of grass with fresh buds, where the snowdrops grew. Her scalding heart pinched, memories flooding back.

"Mummy, look! Look! They're tiny little ballerina fairies! Aren't they beautiful?"

"So's they are! My my, little'en, for a blind little wench thou hath the eyes of a hawk for spotting such diddy little wood-folk"

"Rude! Haha, I wish I could dance like them, don't think I'd be as good. Especially in these boots"

"Oh tush and flops! Thou art a grand danceress, darling girl! Any soul who spews otherwise be nought more than a jealous old sour bones! And thou cans tell them thats from me!"

"Haha. But- I'm not a fairy, Mummy... I'll never be as pretty as them. They have wings and golden hair and sparkly skirts"

"Who's to say you is not a fairy, my little darlin'? Thou hath the grace of the spring breeze, the voice of the merfolk, the smiles of the shiniest stars. And as for wings, thou doth hath wings, darling girl"

"Wait, really?! Where? Where's my wings, Mummy? Are they big? Are they pretty?"

"'Tis up to you, little'en. Close thy eyes, darling girl. Breathe deeps, focus on thy wings. Feel them flutter in the winds, hear them flap. Are they feathered? Are they of t'flesh? Mayhaps they is made of pretty shiney glass? Do they twinkle so? Whatever does come into thy mind's eye be the right answer, little'en. No soul can change them, they is all yours, darling girl"

Mary couldn't bring herself to look at the patch of barely blooming flowers any longer. She turned from them and held her scalded apron to her mouth. To think she used to be an obiding Catholic woman, set straight on her beliefs, only to have it all snatched away. Then to become a haunting wraith of flame and agony, with one little glimmer of love left, only for her to be taken away also.

A twig snapped nearby and Mary froze. Turning her skull to face the noise, she held her breath with a wheeze. Maybe? Could it be? Was ally mistaken? Unable to properly track due to exhaustion and pain?

"Darling girl?... Be that you?"

She stepped closer to the sound, dropping her apron, her hands outstretched, ready to embrace the girl she was picturing skipping from the bush ahead.

"Hath thou finally returned to Mummy?"

The bush trembled, and through the branches, a fox scattered. It's green eyes shot up to Mary and it stilled, it's bushy tail flicking behind it.

Oh

Such a foolish old woman. To think she'd disbelieve her ally, the one spirit which had been on the land since before many of these passing livings were even born. Before their hundredth great grandparents before them were born. The little canine tucked it's tail away and sped past Mary, disappearing into the undergrowth, just as quickly as her daughter had.

Smoke rose from beneath her scorched feet, the leaves beneath catching aflame and shriveling. The damp soil hissed and poured vapour, mixing into a toxic cloud with the smoke. Mary wailed, dropping to her knees in the leaves. Embers billowed from beneath her rags and floated upwards in a thunderous whirlwind.

--

He returned to the house alone. He walked Mary back to the woods, it was the least he could do; remember his chivalry and then he can grieve. The two exchanged very few words after the devastating news had been revealed by the creature. Their eyes dazed downward towards the dirt, their dead hearts snapped in two. He was barely able to give a soft apology to the witch, if she could even hear him over the sound of her own heartbreak.

The house was dark, cold, damp, empty, the way it usually is. Yet, it felt truly devoid, a lapse between the real and the imaginary, like a place you only visit in nightmares. You see it once and that's enough to prompt you to never wish to see it again. The other dead residents must've overheard the frantic commotion caused by himself and the witch throughout the days, as they'd huddle away and lower their heads as he passed. He didn't care if any of them approached, be them a guard or otherwise; he wouldn't resist arrest now, he had no reason to be here anymore. All he cared about was gone.

Back in the room where he'd gotten to meet her for the first time, the one that foolish female guard had hussled her into that fateful day. The vacant bed looked just as horrific as the note left behind by one of Sophie's acquaintances, the one who set them up, caused all this chaos and tore their lives apart. The whole room felt stark bare without her here, like she breathed a second life into the foundations, given the irony.

"You okay, Poppet? You still worried about Mum?... Yeah, I know, Poppet, it's hard for you without her. Must be weird to go from spending each day with her to- well, none at all. And then to be stuck with me of all people, I'm not exactly a picnic, am I? Heh."

"Oh Christ! Oh dear, Poppet, you really are sick, ain't you? Lean forward, don't let yourself choke on all that bile. That's it. Catch your breath. I- oh! Jeez- umm, okay there's no need to cry, Poppet, but- would you mind, umm- popping your eye back in. Saying this lovingly, but- it's kind of making dad feel sick.. "

"Don't be scared, Poppet. Whenever me and- body me are separated, all you have to do is stomp your foot as hard as you can, he'll come to you. He and I might be two sides of the same coin, but we both love you more than the world, Poppet. Come 'ere, wrap yourself up, keep warm. Don't want you catching a fever along with- everything else"

His whole world. All he had left. Gone without a trace. Like she never existed. He slowly sunk down onto the edge of the bed, his eyes blankly stared at the floorboards beneath his feet. What reason did he have to hide anymore? All he'd need now was to hear the crunching of the gravel outside beneath horse shoes and he'd give himself up. He'd falsely confess in a heartbeat, accept a death sentence. A rope around the neck would feel like a invitation right now.

He remembered the last time he told her he loved her before she went missing, she'd shrugged, an awkward crease in her brow; must've been weird for her to hear that, but it was true. He meant it. He only hoped she knew he meant it, she isn't here to be reminded. His arm reached to the side, his palm absentmindedly ran across the spot where she'd curl up to go to sleep. Was the room always this cold and quiet?

He'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be lonely, but it flooded back to him in an instant. Wherever you are, Poppet, I hope you and your friend are in a better place than this.

[soybeeftacos]

I guess this is transitioning into a Star Wars: Unlimited blog...? I'm not sure yet, but it's close enough to Netrunner, and I still have this site, so I might as well post here. I've been thinking a lot lately about this game, about our family, and about how following my son's obsession has led us back to a hobby I'd pretty much abandoned. I'm going to write a bit about that thinking here today...

Our family's obsession with Star Wars: Unlimited has been continuing. We've spent way too much on it (as happens with a TCG/CCG). Our son is really getting into it, and he's been looking up new cards daily, as it's spoiler season for the set releasing in November. That set, Twilight of the Republic, has cards set during the prequels, the Clone Wars, and related lore, which are his favorite. The picture here is him jotting down card names (and rarity!) so he can share them with a friend of his that he rides the bus with every day.

It's kind of ... magical to see this? It's not something I've experienced before, getting into a new game at the same time as your kid. And it's a great game, as well — one that has tiresome old dudebasher bones, but does some interesting things with old mechanics. Don't get me wrong, Netrunner is by far the superior game, but it's also the refined, elusive, and frankly snobbier experience. The lore is — or was, before Null Signal took over — really interesting, but it's not got the same connection to one's lizard brain that Star Wars has for many people. And I think that makes a surprising amount of difference.

Star Wars: Unlimited is just a mess narratively, and I find myself enjoying that a lot. None of it makes narrative sense — sometimes you're smashing a Millennium Falcon into a Star Destroyer and it has a bit of a feel of a movie. The rest of the time, you're, like, watching Kylo Ren fight Greedo. It's a mishmash of everything in the lore, and that's surprisingly... freeing? Weirdly fun?

I think my biggest insight is the following. I'm someone who was a Star Wars fan in childhood, grew into a snobby Star Trek fan shortly afterwards, and rationalized that Star Wars was shitty media for children intended to sell toys through most of my adulthood. The funny thing is — I was right, and that's okay! Star Wars: Unlimited has the anarchic feel of playing with Star Wars toys at times. Sure, make your Rey leader do direct damage to the Dagobah Swamp. Go ahead, have Grogu disable Grand Moff Tarkin for a turn. Your Fett's Firespray just swooped down and killed my surgical droid!

They're toys. As cards. And toys are fun!

....

Back in 2014 or so, when I first started going to FFG Worlds for Netrunner, I remember the Netrunner players' arrogance and hubris. I felt a lot of that arrogance and hubris myself.

There were Call of Cthulhu LCG players there, playing in their final FFG tournament. We shared a big warehouse to play in the Netrunner Icebreaker tournament with Star Wars LCG players, which only had another year or two before it folded. Netrunner was still ascendant and the players had a real "we're the cool game" swagger to them — which continued well into the rise of L5R (I remember Netrunner players making day two of L5R Worlds so they could play more Netrunner).

Now, of course, Netrunner is still alive, but of course, it really isn't. It's a game played primarily online by an offputtingly international player base. On the surface, the changes to Netrunner in the past 6-7 years have all been great — increased attention to diversity in both the card game representation as well as the team of developers, increased professionalism in printing and distribution of cards (other than, ahem, the European store), and a real fervor for the game from a cadre of new players who'd never experienced the FFG game. That all sounds wonderful, but it's also frankly, deadening.

Why? I think SWU is helping me understand why, at least a little bit. Netrunner has become a game for the obsessives and there's not much room in it for casual players. The national and international events are now dominated by, it seems, an even smaller number of top-tier players than there were during the FFG days. The game's design seems to swing wildly as they have changed lead designers three times (not counting interims) in the past five years. And it's virtually impossible to get local communities built where there weren't any before.

SWU doesn't have that problem. I've been struck by how friendly and easygoing it is playing a new card game with a built-in fanbase. I might not particularly care about Star Wars as a thing, but I'm related to a boy who does, and that obsession has been a bit infectious. I've found myself learning what the "Adelphi Patrol Wing" is, the name of the character that rats on Rey, Han, Chewie, and Finn at Maz Kanata's castle in The Force Awakens, and I now remember exactly how many systems has bounties out on Doctor Evazan. All because of these cards.

Playing these games is supposed to be fun. And, with it in the rearview mirror, I see that Netrunner wasn't ever fun after the FFG days. It became a hotbed of player contention, lots of political infighting, and lots of desperate attempts to recruit people while the community withered. But never was it the same kind of silly, goofy, pass-the-time fun that it was before that. And that's because it lacked casuals — at least where I was playing.

Games like these need people with incomplete collections to come in and try to swing wildly with whatever cards they have. They need people motivated more to make themely decks (something much more intelligible in a Star Wars game than Netrunner) to try and repeatedly fail at them. They need people who see the cards as cardboard toys first and foremost. They need... kids.

And that brings me back to the start. Playing with our son has been transformative for me. I tried to get him and his sister to play Netrunner, but there's no hook there for them. Frankly, there was no hook there with Magic or Pokémon, either. By virtue of being a game based on the Star Wars license, there's a hook here, and one that I'm happy to get reeled in by.

Too bad it's so fucking expensive, though.

[theresnoturningback]

YEAR 1, SUMMER - PROLOGUE

A/N So it begins. My goal is pretty ambitious. I've compiled my ideas and headcanons into five years. Farmer still hasn't got a name. Once she does, I'll start a new file to play while I'm not writing or doing grown-up stuff like working, blegh.

If you like my writing, consider reblogging it. It would help a lot for my motivation and considering it's five years I need to cover, I'll be needing a lot of it.

If you don't like it, consider being kind? It's been years and I am aware I'm rusty. If it weren't for @apocalypsebi I'd be still struggling with some important details.

Anyways, anything you guys need, my askbox is open. Thanks for reading!

She could clearly remember her grandpa’s faint words as if they had spoken two weeks ago:

“There will come a day when you feel crushed with the burden of modern life…and your bright spirit will fade before a growing emptiness”

Sadly for her, that day had already come. A sense of dread would open her tired eyes every weekday just before 7 am. She’d pour herself a cup of instant coffee, drink half of it and jump in the shower. There were days when she’d just remain there for a couple of minutes longer, just to let the warm water jumpstart her brain. Regret would soon follow that moment of calm. She’d hurriedly get dressed, reminding herself shorter showers were crucial if she wanted to keep her job.

No matter how hard she tried to get there on time, she always managed to be late for work. There’s always something. Traffic, blackouts, accidents, stupid people. She was so sick of stupid people, herself included.

“One more mess-up and you’re gone. Did you understand me well enough? Gone!” Her boss had screamed that morning after she arrived ten minutes late because the bus driver started arguing with another passenger and she had to make a run for it.

“Fuck,” She muttered to herself as she plopped down on her squeaky desk chair, “I don’t deserve this, if I have to be here for 30 more years, I swear I’ll kill myself.”

She covered her head with her arms. The constant humming of the old fluorescent tube light above her was like an annoying swarm of flies. She needed to get out of there somehow. She missed the sun, the wind in her face and the peaceful chirping of the birds on top of the trees. The constant clickity-clack of dozens of computer keyboards were her only soundtrack during the workday, since music was reserved for their resting moments and even then, music there consisted of a set of Joja jingles playing on repeat. Grandpa wanted to help her when she felt like that. The envelope he had given her was somewhere in her desk drawer. She opened it and looked around, hoping she hadn’t lost it. After digging for a few seconds, she finally found it among the trash and office supplies.

“If you're reading this, you must be in dire need of a change. The same thing happened to me, long ago. I'd lost sight of what mattered most in life... real connections with other people and nature. So, I dropped everything and moved to the place I truly belong.”

To think he went through the same was a depressing realization, but it made her feel less alone, somehow. Yes, she was feeling crushed under trivial tasks, performance reports and her own colleagues’ low morale that only added up to the poisonous work ambiance. Little did she know that reading the next sentence would completely change her life.

“I’ve enclosed the deed to that place…my pride and joy.” She took a moment to take a look at the deeds to her grandpa’s old farm, remembering a couple of summers from her childhood. Her dad would take her to see the jellyfish, and she had some vague memory of her and some other kids playing hide and seek in the forest one day and looking for bugs and frogs the other. She smiled to herself, still not fully understanding what this truly meant for her near future.

“This was my most precious gift of all, and now it’s yours. I know you’ll honor the family name, my girl. Good luck. Love, Grandpa”

Immediately, her smile turned into a chuckle that carried an amount of joy and freedom she hadn’t felt in months. Years, even.

She didn’t even think about it. She got up from her seat, pulled up a smaller envelope that contained her resignation letter and placed it on her desk. Then, she took the keyboard and smashed it against the screen with all her strength. Not once, not twice, but as many times as it took all the keys to fly away as she repeated her new mantra.

“FUCK. YOU.JOJA.YOU.DON’T.OWN.ME.ANY.MORE”

“What do you think you’re doing?” The voice of her horrible boss resounded behind her, but that wasn’t enough to startle her anymore. She quickly shoved the envelope against him

“I think I’m quitting and I’m never coming back to this rathole.” She replied with a smile so wide it made her cheeks hurt. She quickly took all her belongings and darted out of the building to prepare everything for her new life.

That night she couldn’t sleep at all. Hundreds of anxiety-driven thoughts wouldn’t let her. They’d race around her mind, making her heart beat fast and her stomachache.

Oh fuck, I made a terrible mistake…What if the farm doesn’t exist anymore? Or what if the deed is so old it’s no longer valid somehow. What if other people are currently living there? I can’t get my job back, not the way I quit. The sole thought of going back to sitting through one of those three-hour long meetings was enough to put her mind to work on a more positive headspace.

Suppose the farm is still there. Let’s be optimistic about that bit for a sec—Then what? What can I do with it…? Grandpa used to have cows and sell milk and cheese whenever he could, it didn’t look so hard. Maybe I could do that…But I have no idea how to take care of a cow, maybe I should start with something smaller. Chickens? But what if it dies because I forgot to feed it? No, the guilt would kill me right after… I get it! What if…we start with planting something? She took out a small notebook and jotted down some ideas. For example, if I forget to water a blueberry plant and it dies, it’s not that tragic…as opposed to an animal…and definitely cheaper.

After scribbling some additional ideas for making money and a quick packing checklist, she could finally close her eyes and jump from daydreaming to having hopeful dreams of her new life in Stardew Valley.

Right before completely falling asleep, she whispered a small prayer.

“Please, Grandpa, help me finally make something good of myself”

[crypticroleplays]

And we are back here again folks! I've got some writing urges again and some new ideas brewing so I'm bringing forward some roleplay ideas and scenarios!

All of these share a general world building theme and that is Dragons, specifically Dragon Riders.

I'll be keeping mostly everything vague in terms of characters since this will be for both potential original character content AND my usual choice of DSMP Characters! I am slightly more partial towards DSMP stuff so I will say those characters are preferred just due to my own au ideas but I am also interested in potentially doing some stuff with original fellas.

For some of my general rules with roleplaying and specifically DSMP stuff go here

In general, I prefer to roleplay with people 18+ and am a fairly literate writer! I'm down for almost anything within reason aside from that - minus obvious exceptions (i.e. incest/underage+adult pairings, etc.)

---

Not so much a needed note but there's a pretty high chance of me doing art for at least the dragons for any rp I do - I just like drawin dragons your honor.

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General Ideas/Vibes:

-Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon inspirations, basically just heavy medieval fantasy and wyvern esque dragons (and maybeeee taking some of the world building and/or the setting of Westeros for locations). I am a bit of a sucker for the vibes of asoiaf and how dragon riding is such a rare and powerful commodity, additionally works well for royalty themes!! Note: You do not have to know about the shows/universe in full! I can give details or information it's just kinda the vibes I'm aiming for.

-Dragon riding being a rare if not extinct practice same for dragons themselves. Additionally, going for animalistic dragons, I do like sentient classic dragons but it's just not the vibes for this idea.

-In direct opposite of the main vibes, I'd also be interested in coming up with something that could take place in a semi-modern setting, just to switch it up!

-How to train your Dragon vibes!!! Would also love to maybe do a Httyd themed roleplay, or one in that universe!

-I would also love to do some ships with these concepts, in general I'm a sucker for romantic flights on dragonback what can I say?

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Scenarios/More Specific Ideas:

#1 | Dragon Thief: In this grand kingdom dragon riding is far from common, a privilege supposedly held only by the reigning royalty of the land and their bloodline, wether it be bastards or not. Though as the kingdom rests on the brink of war rumors spread like dragonflame of a thief - as one of the old unclaimed dragons had supposedly been missing, and by word through smallfolk it seems as if someone had taken the beast. Stole and claimed the dragon under the nose of the rulers. Unrest of the people is a guaranteed, if this is found out to be true so royal decree is sent out - a hefty price for anyone who can find this supposed dragon thief and bring them back. Noble and common people alike are now on the hunt for this individual and the great beast they 'stole'... It's all a matter of who finds them first.

#2 | It's Tough to be a God: The idea of a dragon rider or perhaps a duo of them fleeing their homelands for whatever reason, taking to the skies on the backs of their great winged mounts and flying for shores unknown. They find themselves and their dragons in a new place, that hosts far less dragons - for one reason or another - and this in turn brings forth its own set of trials and tribulations. From the no doubt celebrity esque fame that follows our protagonist(s) to the potential threats from the people of their new 'home', only time will tell on how their escapades will play out.

#3 | Secrecy: A secret friendship (and/or full on relationship) between a royal squire or prince and a supposed "street rat" though the street rat companion turns out to have been the first to hatch a dragon egg in centuries and is now the first dragon rider to exist since the fall of the last rulers. Both have to keep their relations a secret to the greater public especially now, though shadier things are taking place in the shadows - pulling of strings and trading of secrets behind closed doors... After all dragons are fire made flesh, and fire is power, so whoever hosts the dragon rider automatically has a boon for the throne of the kingdom.

---

I am also open to hear out other ideas!!! I'm just going off of some concepts I've had rattling around in my brain for a hot minute, but you can 100% throw unique stuff at me!!!

[trashlie]

hey, how are you doing? 💗 thanks for the link, that was a great read <3 and as usual, you make such great points! it does seem like yu jing's motivation is to stop yui before she harms any more people. i guess that makes sense, since that would also align (at least partly) with rand's goals. still, yu jing is not the type to sacrifice herself. she must have a way to protect herself somehow. given everything we know about the timeline of the story, we can assume the article won't take yui down completely but it WILL be impactful and yu jing will have to deal with the aftermath. and it's yui we're talking about, so i'm expecting the worst 😶 and yes nol's guilty plea changing her plans is very interesting and i have absolutely no clue why :/ there's so much we don't know about yu jing yet: her history with both the brothers, what rand did to help her, the details of her article… aah i can't wait to learn about all that.

what i also can't quite figure out yet is how alyssa plays into this. so she's exposed and her career is ruined. then what? does yui even need alyssa for something other than to control/torment nol? and helping a "problematic" (but also very talented) girl reach fame is probably the least evil thing yui has done, it happens in the entertainment industry all the time, so exposing that wouldn't do much damage to yui. i wouldn't even be surprised if yui immediately drops alyssa once she has no use for her anymore. but then… what would alyssa's role in the story be? idk it might be just me but i feel like there's still something missing here…

"her insistence on being there" that's the closest to what i had in mind, thank you! and i get what you mean. romance that is grand and untamed and consuming like a forest fire is beautiful in its own right. but for people like nolan and shinae, who have faced so much hardship and turbulence, a love that is soft and steady, that has a healing, illuminating glow feels much more monumental in a way. like a quiet, peaceful, comforting place in the middle of a raging storm. and yes i LOOOVE how they're so well-balanced in their mutual efforts and care and how they're naturally gravitate towards one another. and it's especially obvious when compared to alyssa, who only takes without giving back, or even kousuke, who so often disregards the perspective and needs of the other person. that's why i like re-reading the first half of the formal a lot, those dynamics really come to light <3

"all these little moments that could just as easily remain platonic, except they’re stirring something up" YES!!!! i'm glad we're on the same page on minhyuk and platonic gestures, yay! and btw if you ever write that post about shinae and nol, even though it would be a tangent, i'd actually be curious to know what you think dieter's role in all this is. personally i'm undecided if shinae is genuinely crushing on him because she's drawn to his peaceful, calm, drama-free lol nature and emotional maturity (and hands), or if she's only crushing on him because it's safe to explore the possibility of romance with him and he has reassured her that he genuinely likes her at a time when she was so suspicious about whether her friends even like her (she even questioned minhyuk for a moment 💔) (and the sexy hands might be some kind of projection idk). and if verbal reassurance is part of it, then well, we just had the mutual "you're special to me" confession...

RIGHT i wanted to bring up the girlfriend thing too. shinae has been so adamant about making sure things stay platonic, but now alyssa is basically out of the picture, and the lines she drew are getting blurred, so where does that leave her? tbh i'd be overwhelmed and even a little scared if i was her. everything is happening quite fast! she's been closed off for a long time, she met nol like 3 months ago, took a lot of time to warm up to him, they've established their friendship a couple of weeks ago, they've grown close so quickly, now suddenly there is all this, whatever this is? and i'm probably overanalyzing but i do find it interesting that, in the hospital room, she doesn't hug him back. she doesn't object or push him away either so she obviously doesn't mind, and this sort of inaction (?) does read to me like a physical reflection of what's going on with her internally. the feelings are sprouting, but she can't quite process what's happening, and doesn't know what to do with herself just yet. but she also doesn't dislike this so she is just kind of going with it. then again in the very last panel in 219 we can't see her other arm so maybe she IS embracing him this time. one of quim's little details to keep us wondering i guess 👀

and please i was DYING when shinae blurted out she thinks rand is hot in front of both his sons in front of NOL who is a physical carbon copy of rand except younger and orange like girl… LMAO. (and btw yes on that moment between kou and nol; there are a few rare moments where the brothers almost… get along? it's very refreshing but in a tragic way. like a glimpse into an alternate version of the story where all the toxic conditioning didn't happen 💔)

oh god this got sooo long again i apologize!! i will try to make my future asks more concise. for now, i'm leaving you with this quote i found that makes me think of nol and shinae, i'm sure you'll understand why and appreciate it as well: tumblr. com/slavicafire/714146132919500800 (can't link it properly on anon, hopefully this'll work)

alright. take care!! -lil anon 😼

Lil Anon!!!!!! <3

I was holding off on answer this for a little bit because frankly the last couple weeks were trash and I had noooo energy and didn't want to reply until I could do a good one! I'm glad I held off, though, because there's something I can respond to MUCH BETTER now! Of course, that means this has FP 222 spoilers, so hopefully you've read! (or at least you stop here if you haven't, haha!)

It's funny how a couple weeks ago, we were still trying to piece things together "it probably won't take Yui down completely" "is it worth it for Yujing to risk her career and life?" and episode 222 came in like a wrecking ball, oh my god! I said it in my commentary post, too, but I DID NOT anticipate how much this expose was covering! All along we've talked like this is about Yui and perhaps the Hiraharas in general, but it was largely centered on her. Now, we see it's so much bigger than we'd yet realized, that the nasty, gnarly roots go deeper.

I think it's also so much clearer now why Yujing is going after this story - what it means to her, and her quest for the truth. I imagine by the time she was in university, she already knew what she wanted to do, and was already pursuing that path, but I wonder how much what happened to Manli affected her future career? Or did it already exist before that? The school Sangchul attends that's mentioned in the article about the rampant sexual assault makes me wonder if it's the same school Nol attends, that Kousuke and Yujing attended. If that's the case, then Yujing probably knows of a number of girls she went to school with who were sexually assaulted and nothing came of it. Around half of the reports ended in an incident report when the victims couldn't be contacted or refused to speak about it - doesn't it sound like they were coerced into not speaking about their experiences, whether they were paid off or threatened.

So supposing Yujing went to a school with the elite uppercrust, the wealthy, the influential, the affluent, who committed these heinous acts and got away with it. She went to a school where she watched truth crumble beneath power and influence. Her friend was later in one of those same scary situations and it's very easy to assume that nothing came of it. That she, too, lives with the haunting nightmare of an experience out of control, that left her feeling unsafe. Suddenly it makes sense why Yujing is taking it on, it makes sense why she's willing to risk it all. Because now we see that the stakes are even higher than we thought before. This encompasses so much more than just Yui and the company. This is an attack on the Hiraharas and Kims, specifically, but also an attack on the affluent, those who use their privelege to prey on and hurt others for sport, those who get away with everything, because when it comes down to it, they are above the law. They control things. This is their world.

It's a much more risky expose than we'd really considered before, but it makes sense, why it's so important to her. Yujing is dedicated to digging up the the truth - the real truth, not just media play. She wants to reveal the dark and sinister underbelly of those who have money and influence. She wants to illuminate how many lives have been ruined, how many instances of depraved, deplorable behavior has gone unpunished.

I think this also gives insight into why Nol pleading guilty was such a benefit to her story. It didn't make sense at the time, but now that we are more aware of her angle, it's clearer. Nol is being charged for a crime he didn't commit, but one that Sangchul Kim did - Sangchul Kim whose own relative was removed from his role as CEO due to his own sexual misconduct allegations. She's airing the reality - that Nol was framed/charged for a crime he didn't commit. What did the investigation yield? There must have been one, right? I guess it never came to light because he pled guilty at the hearing? Either way, Nol pleading guilty can easily be seen as someone trying to minimize the damage. He knew that even if he pled innocent there was a likelihood that he'd still be charged as guilty and the sentencing would be worse. Although, maybe he wasn't even thinking of it that way. Maybe he simply just wanted to get away and jail was as good a way to do it. But even that is an angle to work with - that the Hiraharas were so unbearable, were so cruel, he was willing to plead guilty to someone else's crime to get away.

This might be where Alyssa comes into play, but I'm still a little leery of this part, and I'll try to get to that. But Shinae's story also reveals a similar scenario of a cruel act going unpunished. Alyssa walked away without any punishment and I imagine the girls who were part of that were never found out, because Shinae certainly didn't say anything and I'm sure Alyssa didn't, either. We know that I acknowledge Alyssa pushing Shinae was an accident, but the point still reasons that Shinae was being bullied and nothing came of it. Shinae got badly injured and it was just. Swept aside. Those teachers quit their jobs. And it seems very likely that Alyss'as parents paid off the school to keep quiet, to keep her out of trouble.

It's not fair, is it? Even though it was an accident, there was no closure for Shinae. Those girls went on living their lives and for all we know, they may never have even felt bad about it. And it's just yet another case of people with money or influence being able to pay people off, of never atoning for their behavior.

Yujing's story seems to be seeking out truth but also justice. She wants everyone to know how abhorrent they are. She wants to reveal the sinister inner circle of the affluent. Someone on reddit said they'd compared Yui and Gun Kim to Epstein and my god that's exactly what it is, and that's the story Yujing is risking it all for. She wants to air what they have been able to keep quiet.

But here's the thing about Alyssa and the yearbook. As far as we know, Nol has no indication that Yujing is working on this story. When he pled guilty, she mused that she was probably giving him too much credit, which sounds like she hasn't said anything to him about what she's working on. From his perspective, the interview she had with him had to do with his hearing, had to do with clearing his name, or at least offering something for the media besides trying to make him seem like a drug-touting rapist. So why did he give her that yearbook? Why did he steal it?

People suppose that maybe he saw something else in the yearbook but I don't think so? Quimchee is pretty good about how she draws the scenes and he didn't seem to really take notice or anything until he saw that math club photo with Shinae and Alyssa and pieced together their history. He didn't have a chance to go through it further because Shinae tried to take it back, so it feels like it must be about Alyssa. But I just don't get it? What does he stand to gain from taking the yearbook? Some people thought he was going to confront Alyssa but... I really don't think so. Is it possible he knows what Yujing is working on? I just... can't see how he'd know? I know he's perceptive and smart, but has he even seen anything enough to indicate it to her?

Was it more that he hoped that by giving her the yearbook she'd look through it and recognize Alyssa and look into it? Even that seems flimsy at best, so I'm still a little ??? about this. I'm sure there's something I'm missing, or just something that's yet to be revealed but I'm at a loss. Like, Shinae's story certainly plays right into what Yujing is writing about, but is that just a coincidence?

You bring up some really good points about Alyssa, too. It does feel like Yui's only use of her is to torment Nol, and that's not really working anymore now is, it it? He's only with her for their mutual benefit. At this point, if he wanted to end things for good, he could, because would he feel bad if she lost everything when she was no longer connected to him? Nol seems pretty done with her - he does not use light words when he talks about his resentment of how she acts and her admiration of Yui, and he's long-since given up on trying to sway her away. Does a part of him remember when they were really friends and he stays so she can have that? But I've also considered that maybe if he's "dating" Alyssa, she's the main target, the main one Yui tries to use against him? That feels flimsy, though, because Yui watches like a hawk and she is well aware of Shinae's affinity for Nol, and that he shares the same feelings, which is why he tried to keep that distance. But I don't know if staying with Alyssa is really protecting Shinae at all, so the questions remain.

Of course, like I said, I think Alyssa's involvement here may be more about her family, and the dirty hush money they may have paid. In that case, the hush money + Yui creating her career starts to look more questionable. But I think, and this is something that makes me feel sick if I think about too long, I worry there may be some... "sponsorship" involved. I desperately hope it's not the case, but I sometimes think about at the Kim formal when Alyssa danced with that old photographer man, because she needs to schmooze and she needs to appeal to the media. Have there been other scenarios where she's had to... rub elbows... with prominent media figures? Has she been forced into anything heinous as a "payment" for getting her name, her group out there? I REALLY hope not because no matter what Alyssa has done, that's too vile for me. But considering the material Yujing has collected, considering the number of cases of sexual misconduct that's been covered up (that's been ENABLED when you think about it), the idea of Yui taking a girl and pushing her into such disgusting situations doesn't seem at all outside the scope of what we're dealing with.

In an old curiouscat post, quimchee was asked which characters are virgins and which aren't, and for Alyssa she used the 😬 emoji. It just feels... hmmmm. Obviously at the time no one was thinking deeper about this and took it as maybe Alyssa has cheated on Nol but... I can't help but worry that this response is more because we'll see something far darker than people were thinking. I hope I'm wrong! But!

that's why i like re-reading the first half of the formal a lot, those dynamics really come to light <3

Oh my gosh, SAME!!!!! I honestly can't remember when I started feeling shippy feelings towards Nol and Shinae, but I think the formal really played a big role in at least creating that foundation. There was just something about the way Shinae found herself seeking security in him, and how he was able to anticipate her wants and needs when Kousuke was unable to, it was the hospital scene showing the way Shinae thinks of others when Alyssa puts herself first, and the way that quietly impacted Nol. It was just seeing the ways that they just suit each other and somewhere along the way it made me go "oh no" lol when I realized the shippy feelings were starting lol. I know I've said it before so it really doesn't need repeating but they just feature so much of what I enjoy in a good pairing, the way they meet those needs and compliment each other, the way Shinae learned friendship by emulating him and turns it around on him. I would love them regardless if there was never any romance, but I'm also a sucker for a pairing that grows out of friendship like this because in so many ways they are what the other one wants and needs.

But we all know what a sucker I am for parallels, so it was only natural I would start to feel so strongly about them lol, that I would delight in them getting these cute little moments together. You are so right that they both have just been through SO much they deserve so much soft, so much warmth. They've had enough stress and excitement lol they just deserve something healing. Clearly we are nowhere near that unfortunately, but I really hope that in time we'll get to see Shinae - and Dieter and Soushi! - become some kind of safe spaces for Nol. Romance is well and good, but more than anything I want to see Nol accept that they are a safe space for him. I just. I LIKE SEEING THEM HAPPY! I WANT TO SEE THEM COMFORTABLE! I know safe is a long way away for them, but god I want to see pockets of safe space, moments of safe space. I want to see them taking refuge in each other I want to see them becoming that pillar of support to each other! This is so far off tangent lol but I've just been thinking and talking about them so much today, and the development of their relationship, the roadbumps they still face, and I just! Want! Them to find safety and comfort in each other ;~; ROARS

i'd actually be curious to know what you think dieter's role in all this is.

GOD I do think about this a LOT and wonder about it. Like, it's impossible to like two different people at once, so I don't want to discount that it's very possible for her to be attracted to both in different ways, but it's also worth exploring because this is so very new to Shinae. She doesn't really seem to have had any experience with this and while it's easy for her to admit when she finds someone hot - like Rand LMAO - that doesn't mean you LIKE someone, you're ATTRACTED to them.

I think Dieter IS a safe space for her, both because he's such an unproblematic person who is very respectful of her boundaries and because he already likes her. This is something I struggled with a LOT when I was younger - how do you know when you like someone vs when you like that they like you? Shinae is very weak to Dieter's affection for her. The "date" at the amusement park revealed this, with the whole don't look at me like that lol. But I do think Shinae's crush has to do with safety, and why I think they could have been SUCH a wonderful pairing (and look if they date I do look forward to it! I may be a Stalkyoo shipper but I acknowledge the ways that Dieter could be a good relationship for her if that was what she wanted). A funny thing about Dieter and Nol is that both of them make her feel special in different ways, it's just that Dieter is actually more open about it. I think she seeks that comfort and safety because her own life has been so tumultuous and they last thing she wants is a tumultuous relationship. And right, he's been this stable pillar for her when she needs it. Everything about them is so fluffy and cute and warm! That's why I have no issue shipping them as well!

I do wonder where he fits into all of this because LMAO FIRST OFF my poor cinnamon roll is RIGHT THERE LMAO Would he ever have had the guts to dance with her like that? He's so aware of his "inadequacies" when compared to Nol (or rather, Yeonggi) who came off so personable and charming and has this easy chemistry with her, and we know he isn't blind, he's observant as hell and he sees it. Is he sleeping? Or is he awake confirming something he was aware of all along? I used to think that Shinae and Dieter would date first, and that maybe he'd go to school back home in Germany (because he's always homesick it just feels to me like he might do that) but I also didn't expect to see Shinae and Nol dancing around their feelings so soon so I have to rethink everything I thought lol. I thought Shinae might run away from her growing feelings towards Nol, especially because he has a girlfriend, but now she knows a. that relationship isn't really one and b. she is doing the exact opposite she has cleaved on to him.

And right, like you said, the I care about her confession is already out there. I was musing to.... someone... somewhere.... lol I've been talking about this a lot lately, aaahhhh! Here it is! That as much as Shinae is obviously more drawn to Nol now that he's not putting on his Yeonggi front, with all those sharp edges, the Nol he has presented to her unsoftened, I wonder how much of it also stems from what he said to Lil Buddy. Is it that his admission that she means just as much to him as he does to her has stirred something in her? Part of what she was struggling so much with was that lack of closure, and now she knows what was eating her up inside - is that part of why she reacts so shyly to his gaze? Because she knows, because they have shared something so vulnerable with each other, she has literally shared her scar with him!

And in that manner, how does this compare to or differ from how she reacts to Dieter's feelings? I think she is more drawn to Nol, but that could just because of the circumstances. I think, if given a choice, she'd want to pick something safe, but that doesn't mean it's where her heart would lean, right? I don't think Shinae is ready to process what she feels towards Nol, but if Dieter is awake, would there even be an opportunity for that? I've wondered if he would do something dumb, like date her even knowing her unprocessed feelings, but that feels rather dramatic for who he is, doesn't it? That feels like a very typical second lead cliche and I don't think that's the sort of thing quimchee would want to write.

Man, I really SHOULD write that post because I clearly have more to say about it than I thought lmao.

the feelings are sprouting, but she can't quite process what's happening, and doesn't know what to do with herself just yet.

Even before getting 222, I was already thinking that Shinae definitely didn't know how to respond at first. I think... like yes there's a lot of unprocessed feelings happening and this is the closest she's ever been with Nol, physically. I wonder if she'd still be like this if she didn't know that he doesn't have feelings for Alyssa, if she'd still be very caught up in all of this, because I don't think she's acknowledging the feelings at this point. If anything, I think there's more surprise about this, because he's always respected that line she drew. She was the one who tried holding his hands that time. When she tried to feel if he had a fever he batted her hand away. Now, suddenly, he's literally leaning on her. I think, too, it's the circumstances. He was the one who made her get up for the dance, but suddenly he's burying his head against her shoulder - she knows something is wrong, but she can only assume it's a result of his injury. Maybe she's already wondering if he was hiding something, like his pain (because I don't think she realized yet that it was his feelings he's hiding).

But yeah I think it's very much that they're in uncharted territory, it's all so new to her. I would lol really love to be in her head later, whenever she does find herself thinking about this. What IS running through her head? What does she think of her inability to hold his gaze, of the way she's flushing and getting so flustered? Is she going to chalk it up to the intensity? Is she going be able to face it? alfjkakfjkafjaf

I wonder lmao if she'll figure out the resemblance to Rand or not. Like, Idk that scene is eternally funny to me, Rand's carbon copy just there in front of her, spewing his drink all over her alfjkafkjafjkafj LMAO I... I wish we had more scenes between Nol and Kousuke like that but. Kousuke :/ never really allowed them huh lol. I get so sad thinking about what they could have been, had Kousuke not been manipulated, had he not been driven to compete for love and affection. :(

Tumblr did NOT want to show me that link btw and I am SAD! TUMBLR PLS LET PEOPLE SEND ME LINKS PROPERLY EVEN ON ANON I WANT TO SEEEEE ;A; But also haha as always no need to apologize for long messages! I... clearly... am not good at reigning myself in either LMAO but that's fine because I love these discussions!!!! Thank you for always giving me something interesting to think or talk about! <3

Edit to add that @amuraas was able to paste the link for me and ;~; Listen I am not kidding when I say this made me cry. It is so perfect, you are right! That absolutely sums up my own feelings about love lol but especially the love between Nol and Shinae. That he could see in her what she was unable to see herself, and just the same, she stays at his side even in this darkest of times to reflect back to him what he's unable to see past. It's absolutely beautiful! One of the things I talk about a lot re: Stalkyoo is the mirroring, and how they can see in each other what they're unable to see in themselves and god this quote just GETS THAT SO WELL. Love is someone who brings out the best in you, but it's also someone who can see the best when you're unable to and god I want to howl about this foreverrrrrrrr. Thank you for finding and sharing that! And thank you again to @amuraas for tracking it down for me when tumblr refused to!

[carasidhe]

Wishes - a poem about fairies

This was inspired by two things - a story called 'A Guide for Young Ladies Entering the Service of the Fairies' and a poem by the amazing Jennifer Lawrence called 'Tam Lin's Garden'. Both are brilliant pieces of writing and you should read them immediately.

Wishes

People talk about wishes now as if they were cheap things

Spending their desire on casual words and wants that are

lost between one thought and the next, forgetting that

Words are things with weight and power, not to be wasted.

People talk about wishing they could see fairies, as if

Fairies were beings that exist to serve people, forgetting,

Oh, forgetting a hundred lifetime's worth of wisdom

Warning them not to play lightly with their own destruction.

I would warn them as well, if I could - or perhaps not,

for what fun is there in a game with no one to play with?

Eternity is a long time to be bored when your playthings

Stop playing, and its hard enough when they break so easily.

Then again, what fun is there without the chase and seduction?

When they trip over themselves in eagerness to fall into

My hands, thinking all their wishing has finally paid off,

And I need no more effort than showing up with a smile?

Not much of a game that, when once they've promised,

Once they've misspoken and given themselves up to me,

The only fun left is the same struggle and slow breaking

That's been played out so many times before, without change.

Perhaps I would warn them after all, if they'd listen,

Perhaps I'd remind them of all the old fear and caution,

Of babies and brides stolen, of a hint of music that haunts,

Of their place feeding a variety of appetites, some quite bloody.

Perhaps I'd tell them of how there is no winning for them

Once entangled, whether its by the dark or the light

Because its a choice of suffering to amuse those who can't

Be pleased, or endless, nameless dull service to the same.

If I did they'd be wary, and watch their words, and hide,

They would think, being wise to the truth, they had a chance,

It's a grand game then, when the mouse gives the cat

A good run, and I much prefer having to be a clever cat.

I don't suppose it matters much in the end though, either way,

One way or another the great game will keep playing out,

As always, they will keep wishing for things dire and foolish

And if luck is against them, their wish will be answered.

- M. Daimler 2016

[harmlessmessages]

this is last time I will write to you for a while.

I wish we could go back to that day. I remember trying to squeeze in all the love we could before I left, like we were on borrowed time. I remember the feeling that it was not over yet, what if you came to visit me? I remember the confusion - I didn't want to leave you and you didn't want me to go. but you decided that this was for the best. I wasn't too sure about that, but it was too late for me to pull one last grand romantic gesture. you never really cared for those, anyway. if we had left it there, things might be different now. but instead we talked everyday for a month, it seemed like a good idea to let go slowly. and as the days passed, I noticed you were less present. when you called, I answered right away. but when I called, you were busy. that was nothing new, but a couple times you were even kind of mean, and that was new. I wanted to hold space for the fact that you had so much going on in life, that I've hurt you too, that it's not easy for you and you were as confused as I was. I thought that even though we had broken up, we still loved each other in the same way. so I felt led astray, when a month passed, I came back to visit, and you said you no longer have feelings for me. where did they go? why did you still confide in me about your stressful days, knowing how I felt about you? why could you not look me in the eye when I finally saw you again? why did you pull away when I made a joke and patted you on the shoulder? and why, why did you make plans with me to watch my favorite show, only to leave me wondering if you were even alive because you didn't come or message or call to tell me you wouldn't be making it?

is this what it means to be friends like you wanted? how? how could we be friends? I see you and I see your face as we're running around the house, so happy and playful. I see you and I see us holding each other, warm, my heart rate dropped from 120 to 80 in an instant. I see you and I see the nights I cried because I could not reach you, I was scared of losing you forever. I see you and I see us in your car, me yelling, full of anger and resentment, I couldn't believe that after everything, we'd be back here. I see you and I see us sitting on my bed, and I asked you, let's try again, and you laughed in disbelief, or discomfort, I don't know, but you said no. I see you and I see the words you wrote to me, finally, and you said I make you want to be better, you said you hope you can be the partner I deserve someday. I see you and I see the future I wanted to build with you, it was hopeless but it was ours. I see you and I see a day where we meet again and any doubt about each other was folly

I thought the world of you, even when you were in another world entirely. I loved every piece of you, even those that didn't fit into mine. I was in love with the most beautiful person I had ever seen, and I had seen a lot. You had access to me in a way that no one else has. You saw the best parts of me and the worst parts of me. I was so scared that someday I'd push you away, but you told me nothing would change how you felt about me. on the mountain, you said you would always love me. but now you don't, not in the way I love you.

you would probably relate to me on this part: it was painful to love you. we were different in the ways that mattered. we didn't see eye to eye on the most important tenet of a relationship, which is how one should show up for their partner. because of this, there were a lot of bad feelings, a lot of fights.

but I felt, I really felt that it did not matter as long as I got to wake up beside you and fall asleep knowing you'd be there again in the morning. all of it was worth it if I could just be by your side. that's what you said, too, hours before everything fell apart.

to just be by your side, it was too much to ask for from someone like you. and as much as I'd like to keep playing the blame game, I know that some things can't be changed and I can't keep trying to force a rectangle-shaped peg into a triangle-shaped hole.

so now it's time to let you go. it will be hard, it may not even be possible, because some things I don't want to forget, some things I cannot forgive, things you did, things I did. I can't do that, or I'll never learn. but with time and practice, at least I can keep you in my past, and that last day that we had together will be a good memory to revisit, but not to live in. not anymore.

I wanted to say goodbye now. i'm sorry I could not go with grace, it is asking too much of me to leave a love this loud quietly. I hope you find the peace that I could not give you. I'll always love you in that world where there is better timing. I'll always love you, even when I stop saying it. goodbye.