#now i know and also went insane
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when she's wiling to turn into a devil to protect and fight for her friends 😍🥰🤩💗💖💗🌸🌺🌷🤩🥰🥰🌸🥰🌸🌺🌷🌸💖💗
#one piece#nico robin#mine#nico robin if u give me one chance ill#i love her so much you have no idea and this fight was. amazing#i even remembered when it aired and saw some clips of it and was like “damn one piece go crazy huh” and it was etched into my mind#now i know and also went insane#her voice drop too. GIRL#HER EVIL SMILES AORUSHDSKDH#i did not think robin would be my fav straw hat. besides luffy but. thinking about her everyday
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some of the right words
#akia art#olba#baxter ward#olba mc#maggie fighting for her life (colorized)#girl went into step 3 a casual dater and it took all of two (2) moments for her to accept she was screwed#doubly so bc it was supposed to be seasonal 🤣 it's such a fun premise for how it engages the mc's complexities#i wonder how long it took baxter to fall on his ass tbh#i feel like he was self-aware enough to know it was happening but there had to have been an element of frog in boiling water to it#what w all that 19 yo emotional constipation LMAO#and the writing's preoccupation w dualities#the recoil of refusing to perceive until perceiving happens beyond your control must be insane#anyway i was also fighting for my life trying to draw a mouth kiss and that's why i've avoided them until now#tell me why it's giving the slobbery make out meme 😭🤣
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Consider young odysseus and Penelope courting by going on adventures together (committing crimes)
#The odyssey#Pre-canon#Odysseus#Penelope#Odypen#odysseus x penelope#I need to know how their courting went down#I bet it was insane#And also filled with sweet heartfelt crafts#Helen and the suitors in the background watching odypen commit crimes like it's some fucked up mating dance#Going what the fuck what the fuck#Helen: I'm so glad you found someone to match your freak pen but odysseus broke into our tressurary yesterday and father almost killed him#Helen: so maybe turn it down okay#Helen: At least while your father is here#Penelope: absolutely not did you see how hot ody's smug face was when he waltzed in carrying all of our precious jewels#Penelope: how will I know he's the one if he won't commit crimes against man and gods on my say so#Penelope: besides now I can steal his ships and I have not had this much fun in years
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started this before mystic flour dropped and then was too busy trying to pull her to finish this lmao anyway tfw you and the besties are going nuts or something
#cookie run#mystic flour cookie#shadow milk cookie#beast cookies#personally believe that shadow milk went insane with power first but kept “pretending” to be normal#except he the longer it went on for the more he started to act like the shadow milk we all know and love or hate#mystic flour out here like damn the world is full of selfish assholes why should i care#and shadow milk shows up like SO TRUE BESTIE WHY SHOULD YOU CARE#anyway devsis let me in i wanna know who fell first and what they were like before they fell goddamnit#rattling the bars of my cage#I LIKE VILLAIN CHARACTERS ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY WEREN'T ALWAYS LIKE THAT OKAY#also devsis let me i just wanna know what they looked like too gimme scholar shadow milk now#or as i lovingly call him blueberry milk cause why not man whose with me
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Ok, so IDK how canon the ages we have for when the Hazbin crew died is, but it has been giving me massive fucking brainrot.
But not only that, but also the match up of their ages and the eras in which they died.
There was a point in time where Alastor, Angel Dust, and Husk were all alive at the same time.
Assuming "mid-30's" means 35, it means that since Angel died in 1947, he was born in 1912.
Husk dying at 75 in the 70's means he was born in the 1900's or maybe even the late 1890's.
Alastor being in his 40's when he died in 1933 means he was born in the 1890's (roughly)
So from 1912 (ish), to 1933 all 3 were alive at the same time.
At the time of Alastor's death: Alastor was in his 40's, Husk was in his mid 30's to maybe early 40's, and Angel (or rather Anthony as we know his human name) was about 21.
Also all 3 experienced the great depression. Husk and Angel experienced WW2. Theres a chance they both fought in the fucking war!
#angel in particular gives me brain rot because now knowing he was a 30 something in the late 40's#he gives me the vibe of a man who was repressed as fuck in life (and considering he was a 1940's mobster that tracks)#and now revels in the freedom modern sensibilities give him to be as flamboyantly queer and dress as feminine as he wants now in public#i wonder if he went to queer ballrooms in life#a lot had mob connections or were mob run because they were illegal#but also Husk living through the bulk of the 1900's is insane#no wonder dude is as gruff as he is#man has had a LIFE#hazbin hotel#hazbin#angel dust#hazbin hotel husk#huskerdust#husker hazbin hotel#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel
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missin my crow familia so baddd rn 💔
#*armas de riva#dont even mind me i just want this in armas' tag#love teia and luca bonding over how insufferable their partners are bc those brothers constantly bicker at each other <3#insane lucanis attempted to flirt up viago in the past and it went unnoticed. also crazy teia flirts up armas and teases luca being jealous#viago and teia flirting blatantly w/ each other in front of them. seeing them argue is just foreplay ugh get a room guys 🙄.#viago feeling compelled to talk to *the first talon* about dating his younger brother. embarrassing for everyone honestly.#actually even funnier if viago has to talk to *armas* about dating *the first talon* and caterina's *demon of a grandson*#the threat of lucanis being caterina's grandson and his reputation alone once sent shivers down that grown man's his spine before.#don't fuck this up armas. 🫵 don't make our house look bad in front of caterina. but also. im sure it's code for about worrying for him 💗#and GOOD FUCKING LUCK TO ARMAS NOW BEING UNDER CATERINA'S INTENSE SCRUTINY DATING HER GRANDSON. HOLY FUCK. lmao.#his mission when invited to the dellamorte family dinner?: SURVIVE (and viago and teia help him prep for it LOL)#this dynamic is so funnnyyy help. i love it all so much#the kind of familia (and work place lol) where they all know each other's gossip and drama. UGH love a family business you know?#veilguard spoilers#jic#datv spoilers#this isn't even including viago/armas family trips to visit the king or even illario. it would get even funnier with him around too.
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Woke up having a crisis about if I want an MD or an MD PhD………. It’s so over
#What do I want out of this LIFE!!!!!#Like I know what I want it’s to become a doctor I’ve wanted that since I was a child#But when I went to college I actually fell in love w research but didn’t get to do as much as of it as I want and now I’m like but I love#Science and I love research#Like a big part of why medicine is so attractive to me is for the science of it all#But I also love medicine too so can’t see myself just doing a PhD and not practicing#So an MD PhD makes sense but I also wanna specialize eventually and not just be in academic medicine#It’s actually so over for me I need 5 different advisors to tell me I’m insane#I’m the ideal Arab child in the sense that my parents did not brainwash me into wanting to be in medicine bc it’s#Literally just naturally what I want#But my issue is all the paths I can take to get there bc there are SO many
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im so glad im not the only person that looks at seungmin and goes "❓tism❓" bc he is Way Too Relatable to me as a person w autism
yeah..... like I say it in jest but also..... well, yk. sometimes you notice something and you notice something and you notice something and you go Hmmmm
#enby-peep#lol its funny for me personally bc i see a lot of stuff that reminds me of my cousins daughter........ and shes autistic#but everyone in our family constantly and my cousin especially is like Shes you. You are her. Youre so alike.#So you were autistic and that explains your childhood#and i was like Um. I dont know :) i dont know........ i refused it and then i went to the psych for my adhd#he was like 🤨 can you fill out these sheets... and it was to see if i was hitting the markers#and i was hitting them. I was hitting them out the park but i also knew exactly what to answer... not to hear it#so i just answered it... incorrectly to myself. anyway that was 3 yrs ago and i still go ???? why did you lie ??? wtf#so. maybe my seungmin commentary is sometimes a commentary on myself also#but its the same reason being sent to therapy as a teenager didnt work on me bc i knew exactly what to say to be#told what i wanted to hear- youre a mature smart young woman- youre good. id just lie to hear that even if it wasnt actually helpful#and i succeeded. Im a great actress. i didnt want help i wanted to be perceived as normal and i was for a minute. incorrectly.#and probably negatively maybe if i didnt lie i'd be different now but I did and I did it again 3 yrs ago but..... I think ive finally left#idk. my weird obsession with being 'normal' behind- i dont follow the script as much as i did before and im much more honest about how i am#this is an insane set of tags LMAO#so sorry#i dont talk about this stuff often and its An Anniversary today i accidentally used this ask as an emotional dumping ground#some people have journals (seungmin) i have tags on a tumblr post#peace and love on planet earth
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ocs as patron saints
i was tagged by @katsigian and @ecofear to take this quiz for some of my ocs, thank you both so much!!! loved doing this sm, two things i love obsessing over: saints and ocs <3
patron saint of relics. patron saint of remembering. patron saint of holding something close. patron saint of holding on for too long. for a saint, a relic is often a part of the body, kept for some physical memento of their holiness. they are all in your hands, now: does it feel like remembrance? does it feel sanctified? are the dust and blood as precious as they're supposed to be?
patron saint of bones. patron saint of frameworks. of structures. of solidity. patron saint of things that break. patron saint of things that are left behind. the bones survive long after the body, the building: what is there left for them, when the rest has gone? what do bones do, with nothing to hold around them? who holds the bones?
patron saint of heartbreak. not of comfort. not of condolences. there is a heart and there is a fissure, a fracture, something that starts to splinter and break open. you're the patron saint of the way a heart is rent open. the way it tears itself apart. patron saint of the rift. patron saint of the gash. when they say to "open your heart" to somebody, you are the patron saint of bleeding out.
tagging (under the cut!):
@marictheirins @mojaves @ruvviks @devilbrakers @dragonaqe
@pinkfey @aezyrraeshh @shadowglens @risingsh0t @ncytiri
@baelavelaryon @kibellah @pawnguild @roguette @hexmaturgy
@tethrras @lucaanis @auricfog @thedeadthree
and anyone else who wants to do it!!
#tag games#loveeeed doing this reminded me of the tumblr golden age of quizzes and picrews for ocs we need to go back to that#also i need to get a taglist so bad so i know im not bothering ppl with tags lmao#oc: vesper#oc: fenix#oc: violante#now i will lose my mind about the results if u don't mind ->#vio getting heartbreak is beautifully perfect for her also bc i love the mental image of it#vesper getting relics is kinda funny innit lmao. johnny and all huh. which i can also see bc girl never learned how to let go one single#thing in her life (both regrets and mistakes and things others did to her). NOW THE REAL CAKE HERE IS FENIX.....unexpected..#'patron saint of things that get left behind'..what if i went insane tbh#cant put into words what im feeling (<said about my own ocs) but what has me shaking is the solidity>things that break>things left behind#progression here like. yea no matter what you will stand tall you will stay strong and firm even when everything else inside you and around#will break and you will turn hollow but you will Stay. you will be immovable and you will be alone and you'll only know loss#and grief but you're still here right? isn't that enough? maybe not. like what if i went insane ok bye#unrelated but i loved this and did it for me self and got patron saint of obession (devotion. dedication. passion. holding it tight until#it bleeds. pushing it too far. etc etc) which is yeah lmao when will i get this freaky sainthood fr
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also... bringing in the new year with good information... i have OFFICIALLY left my abusive boyfriend!
#bee talks#tw abuse#you can all clap very loudly#i got out officially in november but as we all know what abuse does to the brain i said nothing#just in case i had a moment of INSANITY and went back#sad but true and very hard and lonely emotionally but also now i am giggling kicking my feet#reading! writing! yoga!! backstreet's BACK alright
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Everyone Introduced in Dimension 20's Fantasy High: Junior Year episode 20 (finale)
#dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#d20 introductions#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#d20 fhjy#WOW dang. what a season#i'm glad the episode didn't end on like. as bleak of a note as it could have for the ratgrinders#being literal teens that were taken advantage of by adults that groomed them and all#was honestly REALLY obsessed by the implications of like how kipperlily's shatterstar was willing and the rest of her friends' weren't.#like there are so many fucking ways that could be interpreted#was she the last to go? was she the first? did she KNOW? was she complicit in it? did she do it by her own hand? what HAPPENED there?#i'm so obsessed. like holy fuck#also this is something vague i was hoping for but like- in the combat when ally said they wanted to go for oisin after he died at first#i was thinking of something like. that they might revive the ratgrinders whose shatter stars already left to have them rejoin the fight#on THEIR side for the purposes of saving the others? but that didn't happen and went on otherwise#i can't. fucking believe. that we got fucking blimey'd AGAIN. fucking insane#and now K2 canonically exists in the real world#fig has an army of inevitable automatons hunting her. fabian has a literal unborn nemesis. adaine has a wizard mom to kill.#senior year problems..... honestly i feel like the high level play this season was really fun to watch#and i think i'd really enjoy seeing a senior year too#what a season. i was IMMENSELY enjoying it for the majority of it that like Starkly dropped around eps 18 and 19 that left a bad taste#but i don't know. i feel like the finale managed to salvage some of that good that i'd really enjoyed over the course of the season#what a ride though‚ I did enjoy it a lot#see y'all next season!!
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tged webtoon ep 154 spoilers n thoughts n all that yeah
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HE DID THE THING HE DID THE >:3 THING YESS YAYYYY YAYAYAYAYY HAHAHAHAA
GOD HES SO FUCKING SILLY WAHAHAHA
jesus christ running from the cops every which way LMAO i really like their faces here javier w exasperation and lloyd just. being him
AND THE UGLY COSPLAYER BIT WHAT 😭 HELP LOL?? i guess cosplayers walking around isnt really a common thing in korea idk i feel like. they didnt really commit an offense until lloyd tried bribing that cop guy lol
like it makes me think back to dkc and how michael and the other guy (I FORGOT HIS NAME SORRY) went to seoul for a bit and kind of caused several accidents and i feel like that fits better w getting the cops attention compared to,,, rummaging thru trash? but also i am not familiar w korea's police system! nor do i know their policies on foreigners n whatnot so who am i to say yknow
i also really really wish that besides the cop chasing, we got to see a lil bit more of javier's reaction to seoul and its citizens, the clothing and the culture and how the buildings look, what does he think of them? whats his feelings on an environment so dissimilar to his own, and does he notice anything abt it that reminds him of lloyd and his sudden acquisition of all his knowledge? maybe theres more of that in the webnovel,,, itll be a while before i get there tho unfortunately
anyways thoughts aside more reacting
UUUAGHHHH JAVIER NOTICING EVERY SINGLE TIME LLOYD APPEARS SICK OR UNWELL BUT LLOYD BRUSHING IT OFF. EXPLODES INTO TEN BILLION PIECES. AAGHH AAGHHHH AAGHH screaming crying god that engineer needs a god damn hug
also them in civilian clothes! they look so dorky lmao the hats r super cute tho AND I REALLY LIKE THAT JAVIER HAS GLASSES THATS SO SILLY how can he see though wouldn't it be like vaguely blurry . most glasses are prescription,,, tho they did find this stuff discarded so maybe theyre just,,, decorative??? do people still wear decorative glasses???
i have more thoughts on their attire but it coincides with some thoughts i have for the latter half of this ep so i'll bring it up then!
THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE EPISODE THE MOUNTAIN TRAIL AAGHHH AAAHHH
i started tearing up oh my FUCKING god i feel so insane ohhhhhhhh ohhhhhhh my heart ohhghhh
trying to keep his bluff up all the way through even though he's visibly struggling im gonna throw up im gonna throw up
most if not all the panels in this latter half of the episode make me feel like this so i'll try not to be repetitive and jump straight into my thoughts LMAO
i think the way lloyd is drawn in these panels is really, REALLY well done, and not in just an "oh the art looks good" kind of way, but the choices they make with the posing and the camera angle makes me feel insane
because the moment we cut to the shot where they're on the trail, we do not see lloyd's entire face at ALL. the most we see is his nose and mouth, and that makes my heart squirm like a motherfucker, because who else did we see that way in the webtoon?
kim suho, all the way at the beginning.
we don't actually get to know suho's face until way, way later in the webtoon adaptation, which is once he's way more secure in his position as lloyd frontera
so seeing this,,, it's like we're thrown back to then, it's like LLOYD is thrown back to then, back to when he was just suho kim; someone who thought of himself as nothing, as someone who just couldn't function correctly in this world, and god does my heart ache
and lloyd right now feels it too, the anxieties he once had coming right back. and i think that makes the clothing choices for lloyd specifically really impactful too, specifically upper body
the blue poloshirt is eerily reminiscent of the blue tracksuit suho used to wear, and it's the layer underneath a green jacket with a collar similar to lloyd's usual coat. it's like a reminder to the reader that once upon a time, he was just suho wearing lloyd's mask in a strange, new world. i think this experience is a reminder of that to suho, too,,,
also, the bucket hat is able to cover most if not all of his hair. in some of these panels, you can't even tell that it's lloyd underneath. it might not be the same body, with the way the camera is positioned, especially with some of them being from javier's point of view, it's like,,, "who is speaking right now? the face of lloyd frontera, or the heart of suho kim?"
and in the middle of this, we hear javier speak and ask suho if he hated his behavior, blamed himself for his anxieties, and only then do we get to see one of his eyes, but just one.
idk if the timing of this is intentional (i dont know if ANY of this direction is intentional) but id like to think that javier responding in search of clarification (rather than responding in silence or in disgust) helped suho be a little more inclined to opening up and being honest with who he was in this world. i really really like that
AND THIS ARGHHH ARGHHH AAAHHHHH ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR LIKE A PILLBUG HAVING A SEIZURE AGHHHH
it makes it so so telling that he's the type to live for others, he always has been, to the point of being a workaholic. a quiet, good kid, trying to make amends for the struggles he has by burdening himself with the responsibility of protecting his parents names, of protecting the people he loved. he's done that since the beginning and he keeps doing that over and over and over, both here on earth and there in lorasia.
it makes me so upset (in a character drive way! not in a "this is bad" way) that he thinks of himself as nothing without this responsibility, when this ability to move forward and endure and fight for people is something beautiful in and of itself. it's not every day that you meet people like this, selfless and hardworking and tenacious to their core. back then he encapsulated his identity based on his inability to function in a world that requires social and physical interaction - something that isn't his fault! - and while he was able to move past that in lorasia, he was thrown back to this encapsulation once in seoul. he started to think of himself as "suho in lloyd's body" again, instead of "i am lloyd frontera" as he said before his "bluff" failed. MY HEART HURTS.
and i think that's why javier's concluding note, that in the knights eyes he is just the same person, is so impactful too.
because javier doesn't see lloyd based on his anxiety. he sees him for who he is. someone who protects the people he cares about. someone who is brilliantly cunning, quick on his feet, rational and brave and tenacious tenacious tenacious. for all the things suho admitted to javier, these truths haven't changed for the knight. he's the same person.
javier sees a guardian. javier sees kim suho.
AND THAT is what gets suho to his feet and we finally see his full face again. AND OOHHHH THE LOOKS THEY GIVE EACH OTHER AGHHHH AHHH
the marks of tears streaked on his face but he's smiling with so much renewed energy and javier softly smiling back IM GONNA THROW UPPPP THESE TWO MEAN THE WORLD TO MEEEE AHHHHHH AAAAAAHHHHHH
exploding. exploding. exploding. exploding. exploding.
anyway that's all (for now. if you see me on twitter i might still be agonizing over this /pos) i will SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! i hope we get a cool view from namsan tower and javier reacting to that that'd be nice :3 ANYWAYS BYE
#tged#the greatest estate developer#tged spoilers#lynn misc#lloyd frontera#javier asrahan#kim suho#lynn yaps#SO SO SORRY FOR ALL THE YAPPING. THIS EP JUST MADE ME FEEL SO MUCH#i am far from an artist but i really really like thinking about possible intentional art direction n stuff#am i good at it? hell no! this stuff was probably obvious! and/or unintentional! but it was fun :3#i went so insane abt this that while i was driving today i realized i was thinking more abt this ch than actually FOCUSING ON THE ROAD.#also super sorry for the late ep post! i was busy today <- was brainrotting abt this exact ep LMAO#very very sorry if this is all stuff webnovel readers know already from reading it! mb mb#man lots of apologies in the tags today lol sorry ill post now
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found myself in da exact change room i had a breakdown in almost exactly 4 years ago bc recovery at the time had made me so uncomfy (i was still significantly smaller back then :///) anyways, pretended not to care (today) but my throat got all swollen and i forgot how to breathe, i think i had an allergic reaction to my past lol. anyways bought these two overpriced items and a few others hehe
#it probably didn’t help I saw something insane earlier in the day that fucked up my brain chemistry a lil#thought i was having an allergic reaction fr but i got over it (for now)#also that’s a tag on the green top not a part of the top lmao#and the skirt doesn’t rlly go w the top i was alr wearing today but just had to check the vibe#i also bought some more cool things I don’t have a pic of yet#i am now broke :(#DO NOT PERCIEVE ME (what a silly thing to say)#ALSO NEED U TO KNOW I WENT AND ENJOYED PIZZA AND CAKE AND SHIT LATER BC UR SADNESS DOESNT MEAN U HABE TO MAKE UR LIFE WORSE <3#even tho it feels like it should !!!!!!! unimaginable things are possible !!!!!!!!!!!! things like love and warmth yk it will find you !!!!!#even for a moment !!!!!!!!!!#source: trust me bro
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man i love open endings. the fact that thanks to yuuji there might indeed be the next time sukuna talks about in case some idiot decides to eat a finger again. and we need fics where yuuji is that idiot
#hiding this in the tags but i think jjk and mha kinda conveyed the same concept#i haven’t mentioned it because sukuita always steals 100% of my attention but gojo’s moment was great too! as i said i think gege stayed#true to his characters till the end and i’ve always thought gojo coming back to life was absolute bs not because i didn’t want him back but#because it would completely ruin what was trying to be told through his story. he carried out the destiny he was doomed to carry out and#gege even specified this for us and /why/ it’s going to be different for yuuji#it can also be found in the way gojo and sukuna fought vs yuuji and sukuna#and it’s rly similar to horikoshi’s concept of the new generation reaching out to the villains and trying to understand them & /that/ is#what ‘the greatest hero’ truly means#ok now i’m digressing because gojo was more about himself and the title he was stuck with but it’s all so similar you know#which brings me to my point (finally)#the fact that the villains always ‘loses’ in the end. and i’m thinking that letting them live would be such a risky direction to take bc#it’s so easy to make it either corny or unrealistic. if the whole thing is about succeeding in reaching out then it’s going to happen at the#very last. and realistically it’s going to be too late. they’re going to be too far gone and it sucks but that’s how it is#shoto can discuss soba with touya but he’s still slowly dying. you know#so the best we can hope for is that the battle the villain fought at least leaves a mark and they sure did#something something the bad guy changing the good guy as much as he changed him#so yeah um maybe i am making sense maybe i am not but i woke up this morning and kinda went insane because it dawned on me that yuuji gave#sukuna another chance to life taking himself out of the equation#UGH. CIGARETTE EMOJI#speaking of which i’ve been (im)patiently waiting for olasketches and cruyuu’s reactions#my fave people on tumblr are genuinely the first people i think about after something good happens#my post
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Fish, 7 (For your prompts! ❤️)
Hi, anon!! Thank you for the prompt, you were the very first one to send one in! 7 was, again, the wildcard, so I randomly generated a different number to land on Yue Qingyuan (from Scum Villain)! I have no choice but to dedicate this to @bytedykes, because I told her about this prompt and she said “yqy pet fish mental health speedrun” and we went, uh, a little insane about it. Enjoy some yuefang, folks!!!!
“Mu-xiong,” Yue Qingyuan says. “I’m sorry to bother you. Are you available?”
“Yue-xiong is never a bother,” Mu Qingfang says warmly. “And I am, actually, yes. Is everything okay, Yue-xiong?”
“I think I need help.” A bit dramatic, perhaps, and Yue Qingyuan hates to trouble Mu Qingfang on a rare day off, but Yue Qingyuan and impulse have never been the best combination, and he would appreciate a second opinion.
Mu Qingfang’s voice turns hard. “Where are you? I'll come right away.”
“What—?” Yue Qingyuan stares at his phone like the blank call screen will tell him why Mu Qingfang suddenly sounds so serious. “I'm at home, but—”
“I'll be right there,” Mu Qingfang says, and hangs up.
Yue Qingyuan stares at his phone for another second, then lifts his gaze to his sparkling new aquarium. His new betta, white and black and resplendent of fin, stares back. Was his crisis of faith about his viability as a fish owner really so deserving of such urgency…?
—
“So,” Mu Qingfang says. “This was your emergency?” He looks about as unimpressed by the betta as it does by the two of them.
Yue Qingyuan feels obscurely like he’s being scolded. Mu Qingfang is one of the nicest men he knows, but that just means that his censure takes the form of a blunt instrument of mass disappointment.
“In my defense,” he points out meekly, “I didn’t say there was an emergency. Mu-xiong just assumed.”
“That’ll teach me,” Mu Qingfang huffs, but at least he looks amused. “Yue-xiong should get used to asking for help more so this gege doesn’t have to panic every time he does ask.”
Yue Qingyuan’s mouth almost drops open. He can only hope his cheeks aren’t as red as they feel. “Er—well, I asked this time, didn’t I?”
“You did,” Mu Qingfang allows, looking something horribly close to fond. Yue Qingyuan swallows and tries to hurry on.
“So—not an emergency, but I do want your opinion,” he coughs out. “I’m having… doubts. About the fish.” Mu Qingfang’s eyebrows contract. Yue Qingyuan rushes it out. “Do you think I should keep it?”
“Yue-xiong…” Mu Qingfang looks politely incredulous. “Why does my opinion matter? The fish is already yours, isn’t it? If you don’t think maintaining its upkeep will be feasible, that’s one thing, but… Surely Yue-xiong did the research before getting it?”
He doesn’t sound judgemental, but Yue Qingyuan feels his cheeks warm. “I did, but I wasn’t planning on getting a fish; I was only admiring the tanks. There was a salesperson who was… very insistent.”
Mu Qingfang regards him doubtfully, which is fair. Yue Qingyuan towers over most people he meets, and his bulk only further adds to the impression of immovability. It’s only when he opens his mouth that it becomes clear how spineless he actually is.
Yue Qingyuan falters. “I had thought… I thought it might be nice.” The bettas had seemed so majestic in their tanks, iridescent monarchs of false grass and plastic coves, and Yue Qingyuan had thought, wildly, that one might be rewarding to keep, might breathe a touch of life into his immaculately sleek living room. The whole affair hadn’t even been expensive by his shiny new standards, forget difficult to physically arrange. It was only when installation and set-up for his new aquarium had finished and he was left to watch that jewel-bright being swim disaffectedly through its new home that doubt had seized him, all-consuming and black. He had, admittedly, panicked a little after that.
(Yue Qingyuan’s apartment is very large, and very clean, and very empty. It holds the barest amount of decoration and muss to qualify as lived-in rather than a snapshot from a magazine ad. The fish may, in fact, be the only thing in the entire place which really qualifies as his. No wonder Yue Qingyuan wanted to jettison it from his life as soon as he got it.)
Mu Qingfang’s expression hovers between concern and simple confusion. “I’m sure Yue-xiong will be a more than adequate caretaker,” he says, more gently than Yue Qingyuan and all his neuroses probably deserve. “What’s this really about, Yue-xiong?”
Ah. There it is. Being the mildest person of Yue Qingyuan’s admittedly sharp-tongued social circle doesn’t preclude Mu Qingfang’s wit from being as keen as the scalpels he works with.
“I don’t…” Yue Qingyuan falters. How to express to Mu Qingfang how manifestly unfit Yue Qingyuan is to care for any living creature at all? He changes tack. “I think he hates me,” he admits dolefully.
Mu Qingfang stares at him for a long time, long enough to imply that he’s reevaluating certain opinions about Yue Qingyuan’s intelligence. “Yue-xiong, with all due respect to your new pet—it’s a fish.”
“Fish have emotions!” Yue Qingyuan argues. He flushes at the volume at which it comes out, and at the way Mu Qingfang’s eyes go wide-eyed in startlement. But the salesperson had been very insistent about that, as well. “Bettas are intelligent animals. They dislike certain colors, apparently, and they’re very sensitive—ah, to environmental disruptions, that is. And—”
Mu Qingfang’s eyebrows are still high, but his face has relaxed into a smile. “It sounds to me like you like it quite a bit already. Isn’t that reason enough to keep it?” His tone curls with sudden mischief. “Have heart, Yue-xiong��you’ve hardly known each other for a day! Give it time to adjust to you, and I’m sure you’ll win it over as surely as you do everyone else.” And he grins, sure and easy in his trust that Yue Qingyuan won’t fumble and shatter something so small and monumental as a life that he could cup in his palms.
While Yue Qingyuan is still dazed by that, Mu Qingfang’s eyes alight with interest. “Ah, Yue-xiong—what have you named it?”
“...”
Mu Qingfang’s face falls as devastatingly as it had lit up. “Yue-xiong…”
“Mu-xiong is aware that I was unsure of whether or not I’d keep him!” Yue Qingyuan is terribly aware that his ears are now heating up to match his cheeks. Mu Qingfang’s ensuing laughter does not help with that matter.
Yue Qingyuan is not very good at holding onto things. More often than not, he makes a mess of whatever he’s set his clumsy hands to, lets it fall right through his scarred fingers. But Mu Qingfang’s words ring through his head: Isn’t that reason enough to keep it? And, well, isn’t it? Surely Yue Qingyuan is adult enough to follow through on this. Maybe happiness can be look like his new betta swimming up to the tank to observe the new colorful form moving in front of it, can come as easy as Mu Qingfang quipping that his knowledge about fish is clearly lacking and vowing casually to read up on bettas to be a better fish uncle.
Yue Qingyuan buries a smile and walks over to let Mu Qingfang know that bettas can be trained to follow fingers around. The betta’s clear preference for Mu Qingfang over Yue Qingyuan is as good a marker of intelligence as any fun fact the pet shop worker could have given him. Yes, Yue Qingyuan thinks with a smile—he thinks he’ll be keeping this after all.
#yqy in canon: i make impulsive decisions of a scale where they torpedo my entire life#me: got it. in a modern au he makes expensive impulse purchases and then returns them immediately after#bc he can't conceptualize doing things for himself and also has no idea how to spend all his money he doesn't know what to do with#(this is suchh a vague modern au lmao like mqf is obv still a doctor#but i didn't write yqy as his boss here and am not sure what he does in this world or why he's rich now#and i have no idea who the fucking pet shop salesperson was either. i think it's sqh though)#don't worry about it okay? just enjoy the yuefang and the fruits of my and nik's agenda to make all our fave sect leaders fish owners#i personally see mqf as older than yqy! in this au he thinks he could be really into yqy#but he respects that yqy doesn't seem to be looking for a relationship (and that he has some shit going on that he hasn't seen fit to share#with mqf yet)#so he's content to stick to some mild flirting while enjoying their friendship#meanwhile yqy is totally divorced from the concept of attraction (directed at or coming from him)#so he panics every time mqf flirts with him but has no fucking idea that that's actually what's happening on either end#they would be so good together :)) mqf is going to be such a good fish co-parent :)) this fish is going to get these two together okay :)))#the betta is a black dragon/orchid; i couldn't decide so it's up to you#writing this was kinda funny bc the fish could and probably should have been a metaphor for sj#but i wanted to write smth yqy-centric that didn't directly allude to him even once#and i succeeded!!!#the entire reason i wrote this as modern au was bc i thought of mqf calling yqy 'yue-xiong' and went insane btw#OKAY SHUTTING UP NOW. THANK YOU AGAIN ANON!!!!!#asks#anonymous#my writing#svsss#yue qingyuan#mu qingfang#yuefang#yqy tag#betta blues
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I see in my mind's eyes green and red having some conflict early on because red really likes physical closeness and touch but green has a lot of compulsions/intrusive thoughts about being clean/cross contamination. Which unfortunately are usually a little valid when it comes to red considering reds complete lack of concern for those things. At least as children.
#when theyre older red understands and makes sure to wash his hands before getting all touchy#but ik as kids hed go from playing in rhe dirt to immediately trying to hold greens hand and green is aghast#greens ass was not camping on his championship journey#prize money spent on hotels. i know it.#green js akso accomidating in her own way thkugu. when they were young he hated how close red would get and would shove him away sometimes#but now she has more control over the whole “my brain is tellijg me everythng is dirty” thing and he can indulge in some giving of affection#cbt can save green. and love. both can save her#she went through a lot emotionally when she initially realized red lived on a mountain with no running water#i like to think they hugged anyways after talking. even if green did feel a little insane after when he realized#how long it had been since red last showered properly. its fine.#tfw ur navigatikg the complicated friendship turned rivlary turned “im goikg to live on a mountain” turned friendhsip ahain#but also both copimg a liyyle cause ome of u has been touch starved for the last 5+ years and the other js fighting autism demons#reguri#i hsge so many thoughts.
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