#now back to my regularly scheduled silence
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I'm staring longingly at my drafts for realsies right now.
One bed trope I see you
First fight with Zeke I see you
Telescope date with Armin I see you
BIKE FIC 2 WITH JEAN I SEE YOU
HTTYD Keigo fic I see you
TOSHINORI HTTYD FIC I SEE YOU
SHOTO HYTTD FIC I SEE YOU AND I MISS YOU
Rooster bet fic I see you too
Levi req from forever ago I see you
:( I see all of you, my beautiful, baby drafts <3
#Hanging with Birch🌿#maybe one day#one day soon#i will will write and finish them#i wish#i wish it could be today#my bestie here has got me back on some brain rot#i MISS the rot#the rot is an addictive feeling#i miss it so much#i miss the longing#the pining#the I NEED this#sigh#anyways this has been longing time with birch#now back to my regularly scheduled silence#i hope you are all doing well#and taking care of yourselves#you beautiful beautiful peeps#much love to you my dear <3
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This is a rant/musing/meandering about Worm fans WRT Wildbow. I think it's time I at least once made myself an unsubtly dissenting voice, since silence indicates agreement to so many. Move on if you like. This is probably mostly for me.
I'm white, from the USA, grew up with thrift store clothes and scavenged pencils but got to visit the dentist when needed, and was raised in the same ethnocentric, homophobic, fatphobic, ableist, Puritan-influenced culture that most of us were. I try to routinely examine and correct my biases and blind spots. I am trying to see what I might be missing, with as open a mind as I can manage.
I reread Worm (fourth readthrough, but my retention is meh) these last few months actually looking for any evidence at all I could find of the various phobias (all of them, it seems, and also the vaunted hates-drug-users) that some folk like to assert Wildbow has. I didn't find much that didn't--IMHO--more closely fit an accurate description of how the characters (including Taylor, who is literally a child that grew up in an even less-enlightened environment than most of us) are biased. This, coupled with an unfortunate shortsightedness of methodology (do NOT use dice when you write your story. It seems like a good idea to naive youth, but We Do Not Live in a world where you can just let RNG dictate that your [insert bad thing] is committed by [insert group that is already stereotyped as doing that bad thing]. (Though sometimes that's gonna happen in real life too, and art depicting things that happen in real life is Not Always Bad you just have to be careful about context and tone.) Also, try not to accidentally/subconsciously follow Hayes code-influenced patterns. ...though that's hard to do when you're making almost EVERY character a morally grey one) is all the support I see.
Whew, that was a weird parenthetical juxtaposition. Should I rewrite? Nah; it's already taking too much time.
Seriously, how many actually 100% goodguy fleshed characters does Worm have? Arguably zero. Even Yamada and Legend, by dint of having to work within the confines of their structures, made concessions to evils. Dinah made her ruthless calculus decisions just as Cauldron did. Taylor's famously grey self-justifications were agonized over no more or less than Parian's. A perfect character would be a blemish, arguably. (I'll just take Amy as my woobie; after more than a dozen years of emotional abuse and neglect by her kidnappers, she deserves a bit of consideration and rehabilitation.)
And just like I'm willing to assume that Gregor's somehow flawed, like he offscreen asserted that there are acceptable civilian losses when you're doing crimes or assaulting Cauldrons, and that's clearly bullshit because there's no actual evidence Gregor is anything less than perfect but it's easier to assume evils (and more fun to talk shit) than not, I figure a bunch of folk are trying to fit in by agreeing and priming their confirmation biases accordingly.
And this is without, even, considering the millions of other words in non-Worm stuff. You're gonna read Pale and tell me this same junk?
...though, well, perhaps my cutie Biscuit, and a thing Louise said about addicts essentially vanishing from the lives of their loved ones, might count as being against habitual recreational narcotic use. I'll think about that over my next bottle of wine.
I like reading light novels, and fluffy fanfics, and similar, even though usually the characters involved seldom have what you might call facets. When the retired orc warrior who started a gnomish coffeeshop moves on to her next volume, I'm there, and I don't care if I never find out that she once had to choose between leaving baby goblins to die in a fire or saving a teammate from a spike trap.
I've read so many stories where there's no such thing as an 'ism', or rather there's just no example of representation, because every character is two steps away from being an AFGNCAAP (Ageless, Faceless, Gender-Neutral, Culturally-Ambiguous Adventure Person)
I think Wildbow is serious about trying to always be a better writer in the approaching-MFA sense. I see efforts to portray believable behavior of real "human" (whether human or not) characters from multiple backgrounds, in a world that scans as plausibly diverged from the same sort of ugly we live in today.
I do not see any more latent phobias of any sort than I see in pretty much anything else available to read, from fanfic to bestseller lists to "new favorites" lists at the local library. In fact, I see markedly less, to include some (fuck 'em) commenters complaining about shoehorned-in wokeness.
It's weird to me that, given the body of work and the literal black-and-white facts about who and what exist within, and the extra time and effort the author made and makes (too much, IMO) generously engaging with the fans, the default is to diss the author for not doing even more. In their first work. Of which half the concept and much of the worldbuilding dated from grade-school practice. And it's still great.
And I'm saying this about a story where a significant number of the villains are literally white male nazis, torturemurderers, and literally inhuman terrorists. You wouldn't expect people to be demanding a lot of nuance if you were an outsider to this story. But Worm delivers, IMO.
This is not in response to anything recent; I've been chewing on this for years prior to even joining tumblr or creating this username.
tl;dr: Are you sure you're not talking shit about Wildbow just to fit in with the other cool snarksters and feel cool and cynical and superior? Instead of sincere? Because I went looking, and, respectfully, I think you're wrong. And it's a bit ugly and sad.
#HHH.txt#Wildbow#rant#It's a pain to say this stuff so I probably won't do it again but I figured silence is assent so yeah#I said my piece and I'll now go back to my regularly scheduled program
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spent a lot less time on tumblr than usual since tuesday and was able to dedicate more time to processing my emotions face-to-face with my friends, family, and even my coworkers. as awful as everything has been, i’m glad i was able to remind myself of how important it is to show up and be present for the people in my life.
#if i ever seem distant or even disassociated from the world on this blog it just means that i’m being more present in my own life#i feel very greatful that i finally have a substantial in-person community i can rely on in hard times#real people to help with the real shit#now back to the regularly scheduled programming of britpop or the passenger or silence of the lambs or whatever bullshit i’m on about#personal
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IF I wanted to know…I would’ve asked…there’s an ache in you put there by the ache in me….it’s the same to me…we could call it even…write this down…I escaped it too…but if it’s okay with you…now I’m missing your smile HEAR ME OUT, we could just ride around…just for old time’s sake…and wonder about the only soul…and I’ll be yours for the weekend…it always leads to you……..
#okay I’m done with tolerate it now I’m having my regularly scheduled ttds breakdown#listening to this song gives me permanent brain damage#the way she implores the subject to write it down except she’s the one actually writing it down. in song#the way she’s like now I miss your smile in the middle of the song that’s wiping the smile off your face as you listen to it#hear me out we could just ride around!!! (you can hear it in the silence you can feel it on the way home etc)#the way she sings time flies the same way in back to december too#I think about summer all the beautiful times I watched you laughing from the passenger side is the precursor of we could just ride around#and they’re the only soul who knows!!!#truck tires. now I’m missing. hehe#don’t mind me feeling insane over this song OKAY GOODNIGHT#rambles
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mhm so the managers supposedly advising to limit interaction with a cast member and causing a breakdown (false, ridiculous even) are the same managers telling your 'unproblematic' favs to stay quiet these past months to selfishly preserve their careers, which they have all listened to, because they have BEEN silent. and you wanna giggle hoping the awful former point is true? sort your priorities out maybe.
everyone else with good intentions believing it and getting dramatic, just relax lmao
#not getting into it. back to my regularly scheduled programming now#I've bitten my tongue every time but this one's just so dramatic & fake but people are blinded by their own superiority#you're so fine chugging along bc in your head silence is better than your fav being cancelled which is.. so pathetic. you should be able to#criticise your fav IF you're going to stan celebs as more than just the entertainment they are.#going to stan and keep stanning* bc you're allowed to as long as it's not blindly 🤷🏽♀️ that's a fandom standard bruH
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heartbreak so bad i will fix my sleep schedule over it-
#daisy.txt#no but rly i woke up earlier and went 'fuck this' and went right back to sleep bc idk. crying took it out of me#so now im just gonna fix my sleep schedule which works out for me ig!!!#bc i have an eye appt coming up at the beginning of august and its at a Normal Person Time#so staying up all night and sleeping during the day is. not good#its not good for me in general but like. still#im just like. im mad ig. like this happened back in march and now that things went Worse and he shut me out entirely......... ouchies!#kinda makes me wonder if i should eventually just leave the friend circle completely#it means the number of ppl i regularly talk to will shrink down by a Lot im sure#but like. if i were in their situation id pick him over me any fucking day#i just... i cant help but wonder what other ppl would think.#what would he say? would i become the villain in his story?#or would he tell the truth? that we're two ppl who drifted and then he shut me out out of nowhere?#this man is fucking 30 now and acting like this and im like. if u dont want to be friends then say thattttt ur old enough to not be cringe#abt it like this!!!!! i can handle a 'sorry i dont want to be friends actually' i cannot stand the radio silence !!
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UGHHHHHHH MY HEART HURTSSSSS 😭😭😢😢
BGM - Family - Super Mario Galaxy
ACT 1
ACT 2
ACT 3 - 1 <<< 12 / 13 / ⚡️
HOOOOOOOO BOY Did this take FOREVER. UGHHH this is what I get for trying to wrap up the Peach scene SNKWSNKANSKKKM
I felt so evil making this scene HUEHUEHUE. Feels good. Feel free to listen to the BGM for EXTRA EMOTIONAL DAMAGE.
The image with Luigi letting go of Lumalee was inspired by @roposhipin and their drawing of Geno!
#awww Lumalee hugging Luigi’s back when he sat down 🥺🥺#he’s like a little emotional support star#AND NOT THE MARIO GALAXY BMG 😫😭#Luigi tearing up as he drinks the water broke my heart 😭💔#the expressions of grief and depression like the light in his eyes being gone just…#GOD I WANT TO HUG HIM SO BAD 😭😭💔💔#moving away from the angst for a bit I really like the shrinking effects of the tiny mushroom#now back to our regularly scheduled angst program#I’m really scared about what Luigi’s gonna do now that the squad is away and he’s by himself 😰😰#and the moment Luigi brings Lumalee over to look at him one last time really got me#so much is conveyed in the moments of silence in this update#like how Luigi sharing one more look at Lumalee is his way of saying goodbye#and Lumalee doesn’t seem to know it#goodness I’m wanting to cry just thinking about it#and the two waving bye to one another and the way Luigi’s composure begins to break once the group disappears REALLY makes me want to cry#so…real talk: I found out yesterday that my grandmother is terminally ill and doesn’t have very long to live#so all this grief and these moments of bidding farewell hit a little extra hard for me#and knowing how Luigi’s grief and guilt has been building up#the next update is gonna give me a stronger sting#the super mario bros movie#super mario bros movie#super mario movie#mario movie#luigi#princess peach#toad#lumalee#fanart#fan art
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hii i wanted to request like enemies to lovers for dabi x fem!reader when reader is one of the villains in league and she and dabi always hated each other, or more like they love each other but won't admit a shit. and also dabi is always this rude, snarky bitch and then one day they get send together for some mission and he gets injured, like somewhere in the chest and reader has to take care of him and patch him up. and like she decides to be a bitch now and she's like paying him back and she's not gentle at all like she's even rougher than needed just because 😆. but then in the middle of the night when she has to change his bandages she just softens because she's actually worried about him and he kisses her and it's like the first time he feels love in thousands years🥺❤️
✩₊��.⋆ I HATE YOU - dabi/touya todoroki
CW: swearing, enemies to lovers, dabi being an asshole, y/n is stubborn, they lack communication skills but figure something out in the end lol, mentions of wound stitching, injuries, dabi's daddy issues, quirk usage, a lot of arguing. Word Count: 4.7k Author's Note: hii, sorry for taking so long to write this lol. my schedule was busy as hell. i hope you all enjoy it tho! ty for reading and if you have any requests for me to write, send it in!
"hate."
it was a word that held so much meaning and although y/n wasn't the type to feel it for many things, as she looked at the man standing in her doorframe with a bored expression as she laid in bed, it was all she could feel.
"what do you want touya? im tired." she groaned into her pillow. he rolled his eyes, shoving his hands into his pockets. "shigaraki wants us to take care of something for him." he said, making y/n shift to sit up and face him properly. "together?" she questioned. dabi didn't answer and that alone make y/n feel dread in the pit of her stomach. she stood, walking to her door and pushing past dabi to find shigaraki who was sitting in the lobby of their hideout.
"tomura, you seriously sending out touya and i? it's late."
"exactly." he muttered, glancing at y/n as dabi showed up behind her. "given your quirks, i need you two to cause a distraction for me in the city. I've gotta get something from a hero guarded area. it'd be less bothersome if a few of them had to focus a bigger situation."
y/n sighed at that. her ability allowed her to use the quirks others. once she makes physical contact with them, a pill is produced and once ingested, she is able to use their quirk for up to half an hour. "why can't he just do it on his own?"
"because it wont be enough, y/n. just go and don't let you guys' odd relationship fuck anything up."
she glared at shigaraki due to his stern tone and the words he said overall. she didn't speak another words and only walked towards the exit, leaving dabi behind. she began walking off, sighing when dabi caught up next to her.
they walked shoulder to shoulder and y/n reached for his hand to which he pulled away imeedietly. "the fuck is your deal?"
"my deal is that i need your quick. stop bitching."
he gave her a look that almost burned through her being itself. "fine, whatever. just make it quick."
with a swift movement, y/n grabbed his wrist, her fingers just brushing against his skin. she felt the pill form in her palm and quickly swallowed it after placing it on her tongue. for the next thirty minutes, she had full control over dabi's blue flames.
dabi shook off her touch as soon as the transfer was done, shoving his hands back into his pockets. "hope you can handle it."
y/n clenched her fists, feeling the raw power simmering just beneath the surface. "i can handle your little fire tricks just fine."
they continued walking in silence, the tension between them thick, both preparing for the chaos they were about to unleash. the city lights ahead glowed brighter as they approached, a signal that they were nearing their destination. heroes patrolled these streets regularly, and they needed to make their distraction count.
"you take the east side. i’ll take the west. we meet back here once it's done," y/n said, her voice steady despite the adrenaline starting to pump through her veins.
dabi gave her a lazy nod, his eyes scanning the area. "don’t burn the place down too fast." she said, voice sharp with a stern tone.
“take your own damn advice,” dabi sneered, turning on his heel without another glance, heading toward his side of the city.
y/n scowled at his retreating figure before focusing on her own task. she approached a crowded intersection, raising her hand as the blue flames sparked to life at her fingertips. they burned cold, unnatural, just like dabi’s. with a sharp flick of her wrist, she sent the fire roaring down the street, igniting everything in its path. cars exploded, storefronts erupted into flames, and terrified screams echoed through the night air.
sirens blared almost immediately. she sighed in frustration. this mission wasn’t the problem; it was having to work alongside dabi. she hated the way his flames felt inside her—too raw, too unstable. she could handle it, but the discomfort gnawed at her.
on the other side of the city, she could see dabi causing just as much destruction. his blue flames lit up the night sky, and even from a distance, she could feel their heat. as much as she despised him, she couldn’t deny the sheer force of his quirk. their fires painted the city in an eerie blue glow, chaos unfolding just as shigaraki had planned. every hero in the area would soon be rushing their way.
but despite the destruction, y/n could feel the strain. her body wasn’t built to handle dabi’s flames for too long, and each second was like a slow burn from the inside out. she clenched her teeth, refusing to show any weakness. not in front of him. never in front of him.
as another car exploded in front of her, y/n felt the flames flare uncontrollably for a moment, forcing her to stumble back. she quickly reined them in, but the effort was draining. she could hear the distant thrum of footsteps—heroes were coming, and they needed to keep the distraction going.
without warning, dabi appeared beside her, his usual bored expression replaced by a smirk that only fueled her irritation. "you’re pushing it too hard," he remarked coldly.
"i’m fine," y/n snapped, her voice sharper than intended, though there was a slight tremor beneath it.
he cocked an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "doesn’t look like it. you’re burning out."
"i said i’m fine," she repeated, venom in her tone. she forced the flames to obey her, though her body screamed in protest.
before he could say anything more, the ground around them rumbled. the heat in the air intensified, and y/n’s heart sank as she saw who had arrived—endeavor.
out of all the heroes, of course, it had to be him.
endeavor’s flames blazed brighter than anything y/n had seen, casting long shadows across the wreckage. his eyes locked onto dabi and y/n, sharp with recognition and disgust. “enough,” he barked, his voice deep and commanding. “this ends now.”
dabi’s expression darkened, but the smirk that stretched across his face was nothing short of malicious.
y/n swallowed, the tension between father and son palpable in the air. she could feel dabi’s flames still swirling inside her, unstable and dangerous. they were running out of time. they needed to keep endeavor distracted long enough for shigaraki to finish the mission, but with the fire slipping out of her control, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold on.
dabi moved forward, the flames on his body flickering angrily as he faced his father head-on. "you gonna try and stop me? i’d love to see you fail. again."
y/n watched as the two squared off, the heat between them almost unbearable. she could feel the pressure mounting, knowing she had to act fast, but part of her was consumed by the sheer hatred radiating from dabi. it was so intense it was suffocating. he wants this fight, she realized.
but right now, they couldn’t afford it. not with the mission still in play.
"touya, focus," she hissed under her breath, stepping up beside him. "we’re not here for this."
he barely spared her a glance, his jaw clenched. “shut up, y/n. stay out of it.”
y/n glared at him, biting back the retort that bubbled in her throat. as much as she despised him, she wasn’t about to let him throw the entire mission away for some personal grudge.
endeavor’s flames flared even brighter, his voice booming as he addressed dabi directly. "you’re not walking away from this one."
"we’ll see about that," dabi said through a sigh.
before either of them could make a move, y/n raised her hand, sending up a barrier of blue flames between dabi and endeavor. the fire crackled wildly, the heat forcing both men to step back.
“touya, get your shit together,” she snapped, glaring at him. “this isn’t about you and him right now. we’ve got a job to finish.”
dabi’s eyes widened with fury, his body rigid with anger. "are you serious right now? stay out of this, y/n. this has nothing to do with you."
“it has everything to do with me,” she shot back, her voice low. “if you screw this up, we’re both dead.”
“i’m not screwing anything up,” dabi growled, stepping toward her, his flames flaring dangerously. “you think I’m gonna pass up a chance to burn that bastard?” he gestured toward endeavor, who stood on the other side of the wall, watching them closely. "this isn’t just about some stupid distraction. it’s him."
y/n’s hands trembled slightly from the strain of maintaining the flames, but she refused to back down. “you think i care about your daddy issues right now? i’m not dying because you’ve got something to prove.”
dabi’s smirk twisted into a sneer, his voice dripping with venom. "oh, now you’re concerned about dying? cute. you can’t even handle my flames, and you want to play hero? don’t act like you can lecture me."
y/n’s temper flared. "i can handle more than you think, but i’m not stupid enough to throw everything away for some pointless grudge! shigaraki will kill us if you mess this up."
“i don’t care what shigaraki does,” dabi snarled, stepping even closer, his body practically vibrating with heat. “you think I’m afraid of him? of you? you’re out of your league, y/n. stay the hell out of my way.”
---
"touya, lets go!" she shouted. a few long minutes had passed by and both dabi and endeavor suffered injuries. y/n thought that it was just her eyes playing tricks on her, but it wasn’t. there on dabi’s chest was a large gash that spilled blood with every movement he made.
dabi didn’t even flinch, seemingly blinded by his rage. his eyes were locked onto endeavor, and the hatred burned hotter than the flames between them. y/n’s heart pounded in her chest. if they didn’t leave now, it would be too late.
“touya!” she screamed again, but her voice was lost in the roar of the fire and the madness of the fight. dabi was deaf to everything around him. his focus, his obsession with his father, drowned out any reason or sense.
just then, her phone buzzed in her pocket. she fumbled for it, hands shaking, and saw a message from
shigaraki: get out of there now. i’m done here.
her stomach dropped. they needed to leave. now.
she looked back at dabi, her gut twisting with panic. there was no way he could handle another attack in his state. endeavor was gearing up for something big—his flames surging brighter and hotter, ready to end this once and for all.
y/n didn’t even think; she reacted. she reached for dabi’s flames still coursing through her and launched herself forward. her body screamed in protest, the quirk tearing through her reserves, but she unleashed a massive wave of blue fire directly at endeavor. it wasn’t just dabi’s quirk she was using—she’d stored another teleportation quirk earlier in the week just in case. with a strained breath, she activated it.
in an instant, the world blurred, and she and dabi were pulled through space, landing back at the league’s hideout.
they collapsed on the floor. y/n's vision swam as the overwhelming strain of using both quirks at once hit her like a truck. every muscle in her body felt like it was on fire.
dabi was up almost immediately, his eyes wild and furious. “what the hell did you do?!” he roared, looming over her, his chest heaving.
y/n didn’t flinch, didn’t even respond. she just sat there, catching her breath, her eyes glazed with exhaustion and a cold, blank expression on her face.
“why the hell would you—” dabi continued, his voice a mix of anger and something else, something more vulnerable. but y/n didn’t care.
she stood, her legs shaking but her face expressionless. she looked him dead in the eye, her voice barely above a whisper but filled with a venomous calm. "hate."
dabi paused, caught off guard by the single word. his eyes narrowed, but he stayed silent.
“it’s what you live for, isn’t it?” she continued, her voice as cold as the flames she had just wielded. “but it’s going to kill you. and you were too blinded to see it.”
the silence between them was suffocating, tension hanging in the air like the weight of all their unresolved fury and pain. dabi’s lips twisted into a bitter sneer, but he didn’t respond. he couldn’t, not with the truth staring him in the face.
y/n finally turned her back to him, her voice distant as she walked away. "i’m tired, touya. i don’t care anymore."
he didn’t respond and that was unlike him. and although she didn't want it to, she turned around to glance at him. he was clutching the wounded area of his chest, the blood coating his hands. y/n stopped in her tracks and watched as he held her gaze with a heavy glare. "what?" he groaned with less heat in his voice.
"nothi-"
"they got you good." shigaraki said as he entered through the front door. dabi remained silent and y/n let out a sigh. "told you this plan was stupid." she muttered. shigaraki shrugged, holding up some sort of vile in a glass tube. "got what i needed though. thanks."
y/n shook her head and walked over to a table in their hideout where a first aid kit remained. "come on, touya." he never said a word despite their previous argument and the heated tension that remained between them and only followed behind y/n. this was surprising to her and even shigaraki. instead of questioning it though, she just decided to let it be, grateful for the silence.
they got to a nearby bathroom in the hideout, and y/n motioned for dabi to sit on the edge of the sink. "take off your shirt," she ordered, her voice flat, though she couldn’t help the slight irritation lacing her tone. dabi raised an eyebrow but said nothing, peeling off his tattered shirt to reveal the nasty gash on his chest. the wound was deep, the blood still seeping through the cracks of his burned skin.
“so fucking reckless” y/n muttered underneath her breath as she grabbed some antiseptic and gauze from the first aid kit. she didn’t wait for a response before starting to clean the wound, her hands rougher than necessary. dabi hissed in pain but didn’t pull away.
“watch it,” he growled, but there was no real heat in his words. his eyes, usually filled with spite or disinterest, softened for a brief moment as he looked at her. something shifted in his expression, like an apology he wasn’t quite ready to say aloud. instead, he settled for his usual sarcasm. "you don’t have to be so damn rough."
"oh, i’m sorry," y/n replied, her tone dripping with sarcasm as she pressed a little harder than needed on the wound. "is the fireproof bastard too delicate for a little first aid? if you didn’t want to get patched up, you shouldn’t have gone toe-to-toe with endeavor.
"i didn’t ask for your help, did i?"
"no, you didn’t. but here we are," y/n snapped, stitching up the wound with more force than was probably necessary. her fingers worked quickly, efficiently, but there was no gentleness in her touch.
dabi’s breath hitched as she tugged at the stitches. "you’re enjoying this way too much."
“maybe,” y/n replied, not looking up from her work. “or maybe i’m just pissed off because you almost got yourself killed. again.”
the room fell into a tense silence, only broken by dabi’s sharp breaths and the sound of her sewing needle pulling through his skin. but when y/n finally looked up, she caught dabi’s gaze. his eyes were softer now, not filled with the usual defiance. instead, there was something different in them, something almost… regretful.
“what?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. "you’re staring."
“nothing,” dabi muttered, but he didn’t look away. his voice, usually laced with sarcasm or anger, was quieter now. he held her gaze for a moment longer. it wasn’t filled with the usual hate or resentment, but something else entirely. it almost looked like an apology, unspoken but there. maybe he realized just how close he’d come to death, and for once, wasn’t pushing her away.
after the final stitch, y/n wrapped the wound tightly, her hands no longer rough but steady. she didn’t say anything for a moment, just focusing on her work, and when she was done, she stood back, her eyes meeting his again. the air between them felt heavy, like there was something unspoken lingering just beneath the surface.
“you’re a reckless idiot,” she muttered, shaking her head, though her voice was softer, the anger dissipating into something more resigned.
dabi’s expression faltered, and for a moment, he just looked at her, his usual sharp retorts gone. "guess i am," he said quietly, a hint of exhaustion in his voice. "but you still patched me up, didn’t you?"
y/n crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes. "only because i wasn’t going to let you bleed out like an idiot. someone’s gotta keep you alive."
there was a beat of silence before dabi let out a breath, leaning his head back against the wall. “guess i should thank you.”
y/n scoffed. “don’t bother. just… try not to get yourself killed next time.”
dabi’s eyes flickered to hers again, and this time, there was no sarcasm or sneer, just a tired acceptance. “i’ll try.” his tone was surprisingly sincere, catching her off guard. she blinked, taken aback, but instead of saying anything, she just grabbed the bloodied cloths and turned to leave. "get some rest," she muttered, not looking back.
for once, dabi didn’t argue.
---
it was the middle of the night, and despite the quiet that had settled over the hideout, y/n couldn’t sleep. no matter how many times she turned over in bed, sleep evaded her. the events from earlier kept playing over in her mind, along with the way dabi had been uncharacteristically silent after she patched him up.
with a frustrated sigh, she finally gave up on resting and pushed herself out of bed. maybe checking on dabi would settle her thoughts. his injuries needed to be looked at again anyway, and the bandages likely needed changing. she grabbed the first aid kit and padded softly down the hall toward his room.
when she got there, the door was slightly ajar. peeking inside, she saw him lying on the bed, his defined back rising and falling with the steady rhythm of sleep. for a moment, she hesitated. dabi was never one to sleep deeply, always waking up at the slightest noise or movement. but his bandages had to be changed, and she didn’t trust him to do it himself.
quietly, she slipped into the room, closing the door softly behind her. she approached the bed, taking a seat on the edge as carefully as she could to avoid waking him. he was still, his usual guarded expression replaced by something softer in sleep. for a brief second, she allowed herself to just watch him. he always seemed so hardened, so untouchable, but like this... he looked almost human.
gently, y/n reached for the blood-stained bandages wrapped around his chest, her fingers working carefully to undo them. she peeled the old wrappings away, revealing the wound beneath. she grabbed fresh bandages from the kit, preparing to rewrap him, her movements slow and deliberate.
just as she began to wind the bandage around him again, dabi stirred. his eyes snapped open, instantly alert, and his hand shot out to grab her wrist before she could move any further. “what the hell are you doing?” he growled, his voice low and raspy from sleep.
y/n froze, meeting his gaze, her heart skipping a beat. "relax, it’s just me," she said quietly. "im checking to see if your stitches held and I've gotta change your bandages."
he blinked, still groggy but releasing her wrist. his grip loosened, and he leaned back against the pillow, eyes narrowing slightly but without the usual hostility. "im not a child. i can do that myself,” he muttered, though there wasn’t much bite to his words.
"i know, but you looked like you were going to bleed out earlier so forgive me for double-checking." she retorted, continuing to wrap the fresh bandages around his chest. her touch was gentle but firm, and dabi didn’t stop her this time, watching her work in silence.
"always playing the martyr, huh?" he mumbled after a long pause, his voice quieter now. "not a martyr. just realistic. you're reckless and you know it."
dabi was silent as she finished up. he sat up once she was done and watched as she placed the items back into the first aid kit. "why are you up so late anyways?"
"couldn’t sleep." she shrugged. dabi raised a questioning brow and she shrugged. "you expect me to sleep after everything that happened today?"
"causing chaos isn't something that you haven't done before though." he hummed, watching as she compiled all of the used bandage together to throw away. "but watching you almost get yourself killed was."
"you really care that much?"
y/n lowered her eyes at him and shook her head in pure disbelief. "no shit, touya. why would i have teleported us home? stitch up your wound, and even hours later, i come back to check on you. you sound so fucking selfish right now." she stood up, turning to walk away, but dabi reached for her wrist.
he caught it just in time, letting out a small groan from the swift movement. "what the fuck, touya. be careful." she said, placing the first aid kit down and a hand to his back. "im not selfish."
"really?" she deadpanned. "y/n, you've hated me ever since i joined the league. understand me when i get confused on whether or not you actually give a fuck when it comes to me." he ran is palm down his face, trying to fight his exhaustion.
"i can say the same for you." y/n spoke.
"i only return the attitude that's given to me." dabi said, staring at y/n as she tried to read his features but he gave her nothing to work with other than an emotionless expression. "i don't hate you."
"so what do you feel, y/n? you're not making sense."
she stared at him and they held eye contact. y/n let down whatever guards she had up in hopes that dabi can read what she was trying to tell him. he was good at that whether she liked it or not. "say it." he finally said. y/n figured that he got the idea in just mere seconds.
"no." she shook her head with a scoff. "i hate the fact that i feel it for you anyways. I'm not going to speak it into reality."
dabi’s grip on y/n’s wrist loosened as he let out a low chuckle, shaking his head slightly. “you really think not saying it makes a difference? you’ve already given yourself away, y/n.”
y/n’s eyes flashed with irritation. “you don’t get it. saying it makes it real, and i can’t deal with that right now.”
dabi scoffed, leaning back on the bed, his eyes narrowing as he looked up at her. “oh, spare me the drama. you think i don’t know how you feel? you act like you’re the only one here who’s conflicted.”
y/n glared at him, yanking her wrist free. “conflicted? you? you barely even acknowledge when people care about you. you’re reckless with your life, like nothing matters, and you think i’m the one being dramatic?” her voice rose, frustration bubbling over.
dabi sat up straighter, his gaze sharp and unyielding. “don’t pretend like you’ve been so open about your feelings either, y/n. you’ve spent most of your time pushing me away or acting like you couldn’t care less. and now, when it actually matters, you wanna play the martyr?”
her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “i’m not playing anything, touya! you’re impossible to deal with. you push everyone away, you never let anyone in, and now you have the nerve to act like i’m the problem?”
dabi’s expression hardened, his eyes flashing with anger. “you really think you’ve got me all figured out, huh? like you’re the only one who’s allowed to have their guard up? newsflash, y/n, you’re not as mysterious as you think.”
y/n’s frustration boiled over as she crossed her arms and shot him a withering glare. “then what do you want from me, touya? huh? what is it you actually want? because all you ever do is act like nothing gets to you!”
dabi stood up abruptly, towering over her as the tension between them thickened. “you think it’s easy for me to be like this? you think i enjoy pushing people away?” his voice was low, dangerous, his eyes blazing with a mix of frustration and something else y/n couldn’t quite place.
her heart pounded in her chest, but she refused to back down. “then stop doing it! stop acting like you don’t care about anyone or anything!”
“i care more than you think!” dabi snapped, taking a step closer. “but you—you’re always so busy pretending you don’t want this, like it’s all some burden for you!”
y/n’s pulse quickened, her frustration and confusion mounting. “i never said i didn’t want—”
before she could finish, dabi’s hands shot up to either side of her face, pulling her in roughly. his lips crashed against hers with a sudden, fierce intensity that stole the breath from her lungs. the kiss was aggressive, meant to shut her up, and y/n’s mind went blank as every thought evaporated under the force of it.
her body reacted before she could process what was happening, her hands gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him closer even as her heart raced with the shock of it all.
dabi’s lips moved against hers, demanding and relentless, and she found herself kissing him back just as fiercely, pouring all her pent-up anger and frustration into the kiss. it was heated, messy, and full of everything they couldn’t say out loud.
he pulled back for a brief moment, their breaths mingling as he muttered, “you talk too damn much.”
before she could respond, he kissed her again, cutting off any retort she might’ve had. his hands slid from her face to her waist, gripping her tightly as if he couldn’t stand to let her go. the anger between them melted into something else entirely—something raw and consuming.
y/n’s heart hammered in her chest as she kissed him back, her hands finding their way to his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair. the argument, the tension, all of it faded into the background as they lost themselves in the intensity of the moment.
when they finally pulled apart, both of them were breathless, their foreheads resting against each other. dabi’s grip on her waist remained firm as he stared down at her, his expression softening just slightly.
“maybe i don’t want you to shut up,” he muttered, his voice low and rough, “but you make it hard to think.”
y/n’s lips parted, still swollen from the kiss, her breath coming in shallow bursts. “then maybe you should start listening,” she whispered, her voice shaky but steady.
dabi let out a low chuckle, his thumb brushing lightly against her hip. “yeah, maybe.” his voice dropped even lower as he added, “but that doesn’t mean i’m done shutting you up.”
with that, he pulled her back into another kiss, this one slower but no less intense, as if he was determined to make sure she knew exactly how he felt, even if neither of them were ready to say the words just yet.
she pulled back for a breath, her forehead meeting with his shoulder as she closed her eyes.
"i hate you, touya."
"then hate me more."
got a request? send it in and i'll write it :D
Taglist: @nemoo888 @delicatexmoonchild @flowerpjimin @tedcruzumakii @sugacor3 @selysixn @mitsuyas-version @matchaismylove @cyberrthegreat @ivydoesit23 @riririntaro @ilovechickfilasauce @sincerelyzee @daydreamteardrop @satorusluvrgirl @tired-jaz
#dabi mha#dabi todoroki#bnha dabi#dabi x reader#dabi x y/n#dabi x you#dabi my hero academia#mha dabi#dabi#dabi touya#touya todoroki#bnha touya#todoroki touya#toya todoroki#touya todoroki angst#touya todoroki smut#touya todoroki x reader#touya x reader#dabi fluff#touya todoroki fluff#touya todoroki x you#my hero academy fanfiction#my hero acedamia#mha fluff#mha angst#mha anime#dabi x reader fluff#mha touya#mha x reader#mha lov
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hey! so I'm kind of obsessed with your writing ☠️ it's all soooo good, i was wondering if you could do a fic where the reader is a ballerina? (I'm also obsessed with your moodboard because I did ballet when I was a kid 😭) with Damian Wayne plsss, because I just LOVED how you write him nd I thought it would be cute.
Beneath the ballet’s shadow - Damian Wayne
A/n: I love getting requests for Damian and generally any of my favorite characters from shows/movies. Especially when I get to write for specific types of readers (ex: ballerina!reader) because I like looking up stuff to include in the story! I’ve also noticed how my formatting of my stories change with the stories, like there is some consistency but not a lot, Y’know?
Warnings: none
Rating: fluff
Damian Wayne wasn’t one for distractions. His life had been built on discipline, precision, and a resolve far beyond his years. Yet, for reasons he couldn’t quite pinpoint, he found himself regularly at Gotham City Ballet, watching you.
It had started innocently enough. He had accompanied you once, claiming he needed to ensure your safety as you walked through the dark streets of Gotham. But after that first time, something kept pulling him back. Maybe it was the grace in your movements, the way you seemed to defy gravity with every leap and pirouette, or perhaps it was the quiet contentment he felt in your presence, a rare feeling for someone like him.
You’d catch him sometimes, leaning against the doorframe of the practice room, arms crossed, expression unreadable. “You know, you don’t have to keep coming,” you’d tease, wiping the sweat from your brow.
“I’m simply ensuring you’re not slacking in your training,” he’d reply, the hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. But in truth, he admired your dedication, your focus—traits he valued in himself.
One day, after practice, you sat beside him on the worn wooden bench outside the studio. The sun was setting, casting a warm glow over the city, softening the harsh lines of the buildings. Damian was unusually quiet, even for him, staring out at the horizon as if deep in thought.
“You know,” you started, breaking the silence, “I appreciate you being here. It means a lot.”
He glanced at you, his sharp green eyes softening just a fraction. “It’s nothing,” he replied, but the words felt heavier than usual.
“No, it’s not nothing,” you insisted, a gentle smile on your lips. “You’re always here, watching. It’s like you care or something.”
Damian felt his heart skip—a rare, unfamiliar sensation. But he maintained his stoic demeanor, merely raising an eyebrow. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he muttered, but you could see the faintest hint of a blush creeping up his neck.
You laughed softly, the sound like music to his ears. “Okay, okay, tough guy. But seriously, I’m glad we’re friends.”
Friends. The word hung in the air between you. Damian had never had many of those, never allowed himself the luxury. Yet, with you, it felt different. There was no pressure, no expectations. Just… peace. He didn’t need to say anything more; you seemed to understand him without words.
As you leaned back on the bench, your shoulder brushing against his, Damian felt an odd warmth settle in his chest. He wasn’t sure what it meant, or why it felt so significant. But for now, he let it be, content to simply sit beside you, watching the sun dip below the skyline, the weight of the world momentarily lifting from his shoulders.
In that moment, he didn’t need to be the son of Batman, the heir to the League of Assassins. He was just Damian, a boy quietly, contentedly falling for his best friend. And that, he decided, was enough.
A/n: does anyone know where I can watch more Batman/batfam movies/slash shows? I have Netflix, Hulu, and Disney plus and like miscellaneous apps to watch movies on but they’re almost always unavailable on those platforms. I plan on creating like a schedule for when I post because I go back to school soon, I was supposed to go back yesterday but my mom forgot to register me so.
#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian wayne x female reader#damian wayne x reader#reader imagine#ballerina#ballet#dance#cute#dc comics#dc universe
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Kinktober 2024 ▪ Day 10
▪ Pairing: Bang Chan x Female Reader
▪ Kink: Thigh Riding
▪ Genre: Smut
▪ Word Count: 2.2k
▪ Warnings: Soft!Dom Chan, Sub!Fem Reader, established relationship, teasing, thigh riding, masturbation, slight finger sucking, slight cum eating, unprotected sex
▪ Please let me know if I missed anything
Color(s) Of This Fic: Black, Slate Grey, and an Ashy Brown <3
If you are under the age of 18, please do not interact with this fic. This fic contains inappropriate content and is strictly 18+
Everything in not only this event, but all of my work in general is consensual. Even if not stated within the work.
Enjoy :)
If there's one random thing you've learned about Chan since the start of your relationship, it's his love for mobile games.
They're convenient for his busy schedule, and practically godsent when he has long wait times during special events, award shows, and any of his longer schedules.
You often find yourself with your head rested on his shoulder as you watch him play. Sometimes, you both just sit in comfortable silence as you watch, and other times he explains how the game works, and shows you his favorite aspects of each. You enjoy listening to him explain the details of the games, and he updates you regularly on his accomplishments and milestones within them all.
It's a bit of a wholesome thing between you two, and even though he'll never tell you, Chan adores how invested you are in the things he enjoys, even if it is just a game on his phone.
Now, it's rare for you to find yourself irritated with Chan in any way, but sometimes, it happens. Today is one of Chan's rare off days, and while you want him to spend the day doing whatever his heart desires, you can't help but feel slightly annoyed with just how much time he's spent on his phone.
In all honesty, you feel a bit ridiculous for being annoyed over something so simple and normal within your relationship. Especially since Chan has already spent a majority of his day off with you, but after sitting next to him, pressed into his side with your head rested on his muscular shoulder as you watched his fingers glide swiftly across his screen for two and a half hours, you can't help but feel needy.
For a moment, you question why something that you do all the time is affecting you as drastically as it is, but you quickly decide not to question your body and what it craves, especially considering who it is that your body is craving.
You thought stepping away from him for a bit would shake the growing desire for him, setting off to clean up the kitchen instead of staying pressed into him, but it doesn't. You can smell his cologne on your clothes, and you can still hear his laugh from where you're standing, and you have to fight the urge to pounce on him with every noise he makes.
You eventually give up on cleaning anything, walking back into the living room to sit next to Chan again. Your eyes rake over his bare arms, scanning the expanse of skin from his shoulders, all the way down to his hands. You watch the way his fingers move, pressing your thighs together when he furiously taps on the screen.
"Channie?" You gently call out, reluctantly tearing your eyes away from his hands.
"Hm?" He hums out in response, turning his head only slightly in your direction, but never averting his gaze from his phone screen.
"You almost done?" You ask, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth when you catch sight of the veins that start at his wrist and trail up to the bend of his arm.
"Yea, baby, just let me finish this game and I'm all yours." He answers, resting his head against the back of the couch as he waits for the game to load.
"Okay," you lightly sigh out, wanting to scream at his choice of words.
You sink into the couch, patiently waiting next to him while he finishes his game. Soon enough, one game turns into five, and after repeated words of this being his last game and another hour going by, you're tired of waiting and ready to march into your shared room to take care of yourself while Chan's eyes stay glued to his phone screen.
He hears you let out a sigh laced with annoyance, one that you truly couldn't keep to yourself anymore, and his eyes immediately dart towards you as you stand up from your spot on the couch. His right hand is quick to gently wrap around your wrist, guiding you to sit on his lap as he mumbles out apologies.
"I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't realize how much time has gone by." He apologizes, feeling you lean into his chest as your chin rests on his shoulder. "I'm almost done with this game."
You let out a groan at his words, nestling into his neck as you finally realize the position you're currently in. You're straddling one of Chan's muscular thighs, your core pressed directly onto the plush, yet firm skin. The pressure against your needy core makes the gentle throb between your legs almost unbearable, and you shift just slightly in Chan's lap as a subtle attempt to ease the feeling.
You quickly realize how sensitive this desperation for your boyfriend has made you when just that subtle shift is enough for your breath to hitch. The shift was only enough to give you a slight taste of what you've been craving for hours, and now, you can't stop your hips from moving desperately against the muscle of Chan's thigh.
You can feel Chan's head turn to look at you, and even with your eyes closed you can see his wide-eyed expression that eventually fades into a smirk. He watches you for a moment as the gears turn in his head, and once they do, he lets his phone fall from his hand to the surface of the couch.
Breathy moans tumble past your lips at the friction, and Chan's quick to grip at your hips to help guide you along his thigh.
"Is this why my baby's been so irritated?" Chan's voice is low and slightly husky when he asks you the question, and all he gets in response is a nod as you pull him into a heated kiss.
You can feel Chan's fingertips drag along the hem of your oversized shirt, and you break the kiss to let him pull it over your head.
"Pretty girl's been so needy for me, hm?"
You moan at the pet name, fisting the fabric of his tank top as you move your hips faster against his thigh.
"Yes-" you choke out, feeling Chan pull you against him with more force, "and you've been so b-busy playing that stupid game."
"I thought you liked that game?" He asks you with a smirk, and even in your current state, you find yourself wanting to smack him.
"I d-do!" The words almost leave you in a scream when Chan starts bouncing his leg beneath you, "just not when I need you and you won't stop playing it."
Chan stops bouncing his leg and slows the speed of your hips, causing a loud whine of protest to tear from your throat as he slowly drags your hips along his thigh.
"I'm sorry, baby." He quietly apologizes, a big grin taking over his features as he watches you try and move your hips faster, but ultimately failing due to the grip he has on you. "I had no idea you needed me so bad."
Your head falls against his shoulder, desperate whines leaving your lips as Chan continues moving you at a torturous pace. He loves seeing you so needy for him, loves knowing he's the only one who can give you what you need, and he's willing to let you suffer due to his slow pace for just a minute so he can take in this moment in it's raw, unfiltered form.
"Channie, please!" You whimper out, rutting desperately against the strong muscle beneath you as he holds you in place against him.
You watch the grin on his face slowly fade as his eyes grow dark, watching your need all but consume you as he starts pulling you against him in long strides. He pushes you back along his thigh as far as he can without letting you fall, and pulls you forward until your core meets where his leg connects to his torso. Your head lolls backwards as your mouth falls agape, it all feels so good you fall silent for a minute before a loud moan leaves your lips.
Chan is quick to pick up the pace of your hips, desperate to hear more of your pretty noises and see more of your reactions. Your hands sneak under his tank top, needing to feel his warm skin under your palms as you claw at the soft flesh. He lets out a hiss at the feeling of your nails dragging against his skin, and he let's go of you to pull the fabric off him.
"Keep going, baby, make yourself feel good."
The second Chan's tank top hits the floor, your hands fly to grip his shoulders for support as you hurriedly rut against his thigh. You notice the tent in Chan's shorts, and you watch as he pushes the fabric down enough for his length to spring free. He's painfully hard, and the deep moan he lets out when he wraps his hand around the base of his cock has your thighs closing around the thigh you're riding.
"Fuck, baby-" Chan groans out when he starts to fist his cock.
Chan's left hand comes to grip at your hip, stopping your movements long enough to reach between your thighs and pull your panties to the side so your core can make direct contact with the fabric of his shorts. He slides his left hand beneath your core, laying his palm flat against you to let your arousal pool in his hand before he wraps that same hand around the tip of his leaking cock, his right hand furiously pumping his shaft.
You slam your hips back down on his thigh, your nails leaving crescents in the flesh of his shoulders as you chase your high.
Oh how you wish you could engrave the sight in front of you into your brain to keep for the rest of time.
Chan's head is thrown back agaisnt the couch, eyes hooded as he watches your every move, moans spilling endlessly from his pillowy, soft lips. His dominant hand works to push him towards his release as it effortlessly glides up and down the length of his cock, thanks to your arousal. His non-dominant hand switches between circling his palm around his tip, and his pointer finger and thumb connecting to form a ring around the head of his cock as he slides those fingers over his tip repeatedly.
You can't tell who's moaning louder or more frequently, but when Chan starts bouncing his thigh beneath you again, this time consistently as you continue to grind against him, you're convinced you could shatter a window with the high-pitched moan you let out.
The noise is music to Chan's ears, and just from the pitch of your sounds alone, he can tell you're close.
"Cum with me, baby, please." He moans out, feeling your thighs shake when he pushes his heel off the floor so his thigh presses harder against your core.
You fall into his chest, clawing at his biceps as you struggle to continue to roll your hips against his. His thigh is still bouncing against you, and with all this combined with the sound of Chan's moans right next to your ear, you cum with a scream.
Chan follows not long after you, his cum spilling over his hand as your release soaks his shorts and drips down his thigh and onto the floor beneath you two.
You're completely still on top of Chan, your legs shaking and your breathing erratic as you pant against Chan's neck. All you can hear is your heartbeat in your ears and Chan's rugged breathing as one of his hands snakes around your middle to hold you against him.
Once your breathing returns to normal, you pull away from Chan to look at the mess you both made. Your eyes fall to his hand that is lazily resting in his lap, cum still dripping from his fingers and onto his lap.
He looks at you before following your line of sight to his hand, he lets out a weak, breathy chuckle as he looks back at you. You gently grab his wrist, looking him in the eyes as you bring his hand up to your mouth. You wrap your lips around his pointer and middle fingers, sucking his release off the digits. Chan watches you with hooded eyes, letting you do as you please as he feels his length harden once again. You let your tongue glide in between and around the digits until you pull them out of your mouth with a 'pop'.
Chan is quick to pull you further into his lap until your core is hovering above his hard length.
"You gonna let me stuff you full of my cum this time, baby?" He asks you as he lines the tip of his length up with your entrance.
All you can do is nod, your chest already rising and falling rapidly again as you slowly sink down onto Chan's length.
You may have been annoyed earlier, but when it leads to an amazing orgasm and being stuffed full of your boyfriend's cock, you can barely remember even being annoyed in the first place.
Main Masterlist
Kinktober 2024 Masterlist
▪ Author's Note
This is entirely based off of Channie's first Instagram live.
That live ruined my life and turned my brain to fucking mush
▪ Taglist
@kpophubb @whatudowhennooneseesyou @skzgallll
Send me a DM or ask to be added to the taglist
▪ Extras
©All rights are reserved to Moonlit-Stay. Stealing, reposting, copying, translating, plagiarizing, and modifying any and all of my work is strictly prohibited.
Released: October 10th, 2024
Reblogs are greatly appreciated !
#stray kids smut#stray kids smut imagines#stray kids bang chan smut#stray kids chan smut#bang chan smut#kinktober
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Too Much
Pairing — Xu Minghao x Reader
Summary — Sometimes meditating is not enough to keep Minghaos temper at bay and sometimes he says things he doesn't mean...
Genre — angst, established relationship, idol!au
Warnings — argument, Hao is an idiot
Word Count — 0.8k
Rating — pg-13
Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©soo0hee on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!
Shocked and with your jaw on the floor you stared into Minghaos dark eyes.
You understood that with all of his busy schedules, he was tired when he came home and that all he wanted would be to relief some of his stress with a hot shower, a nice nap and maybe some cuddles. You understood all of it.
However what you didn’t understand was why he regularly would let out his frustrations on someone who had nothing to do with any of the causes he felt so tired, namely you.
It was a conversation that you had tried to have with him on multiple occasions, yet your boyfriend seemed to try and ignore the obvious elephant in the room and every single time you had let yourself be swayed into giving in.
“Can we not do this now? I promise we will talk about it in the morning.” Was what he would say, only to be gone by the time you woke up.
This time though, you were ready to insist on this conversation being held. You just couldn’t ignore it anymore!
You had a job too! A job that stressed you out too and being the on to receive his mood was beginning to weight heavily on your shoulders.
But now, after the screaming match you had just had, you weren’t quite sure if this was your best idea.
The words he had spat at you just seconds ago were ringing in your ears and you could feel the burn behind your eyes. Tears just waiting to be spilled.
“Stop annoying me with this every few day. Seriously, you’re being to much right now!”
You knew that he had surprised himself with his words, the look of shock and guilt clouding his face immediately after the they had left him, but you didn’t want to hear it.
You didn’t want to hear his excuse of why he had said it because it was obvious that while surprised, some part of him did think you were being to much.
For a second you were unsure if you even had the right to tell him this. Maybe you were being in the wrong here?
Your inner voice shook its head. No! You had just as much right to be treated like a human then he had!
“I-“ he tried to say but you held up your hand, the tears that had burned in your eyes now falling freely in silence.
“Don’t.”
You rushed away, letting those tears fall down your face as you locked the bedroom door behind you, preventing Minghao from getting inside.
You didn’t care if he had to sleep on the couch or what it would do to his back and neck. You didn’t give a fuck if he would be waking up in pain in the morning. And you didn’t want to know what kind of apologize he was trying to come up with.
He couldn’t make it better, at least not right now.
Curling together underneath your blanket, hiding away from the world while sobs spilled from your mouth you clutched your favorite pillow to your chest. It was drenched in Minghaos scent because he had the habit of sleeping on every inch of the bed he could reach. More tears fell.
Was this how he felt about you all this time? It would make sense with all the aggression thrown your way recently but why hadn’t he just broke it off if that was the case?
You were sure that it would have hurt less if he had…
Minghaos words kept repeating themselves in your head anytime you managed to calm down a little, only to send you back into a fit of tears.
Outside Minghao sat on the floor, quietly listening to your devastation with his head resting against the hard surface of the door.
He hadn’t meant to say such horrible things to you, especially since they weren’t even true. He had a temper, that much he knew but he had never lost it as much as he had earlier. Not with someone he loved so much that his heart was shattering just listening to you.
While the rest of his members knew how he could be and knew to leave him to cool down, you and him had never fought this much before.
“I’m so sorry love…” he whispered into the by now dark hallway.
The hours ticked by and the apartment fell silent. You had cried yourself to sleep and Minghao didn’t dare leave the door, wanting to stay as close as you let him be.
His ass was hurting by now and he wondered if you had locked the door or only pulled it shut…
He reached for the handle and carefully tried to pull it down, internally cheering when it opened with a silent -click-.
The sight greeting him was just as heartbreaking as your sobs had been. Your face was swollen and dried tear tracks still visible. Wanting to kick himself for being the cause of this, he knelt on the mattress next to your sleeping form.
He wasn’t sure how, but he would make sure that you knew how sorry he was and how much he loved you…
#k-library#k labels#k vanity#the diamond life network#seventeen#xu minghao#xu minghao x reader#xu minghao x you#xu minghao x y/n#minghao x reader#minghao x y/n#minghao x you#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#seventeen x y/n#xu minghao imagines#seventeen imagines#divider by animatedglittergraphics n more
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I need a smutty fic based on this photo
!! logan weekend requests are now closed !!
warnings: !! CONTAINS SMUT, MINORS DNI !! unprotected p in v
dear god that photo is hot, also this is the last blurb for logan weekend, regularly scheduled writing will continue tomorrow
Logan felt like he could finally breathe again after signing his Williams contract extension. He hated that he was the last driver to be signed for the next season, but was relieved when he was asked to come back for another year.
You leapt into his arms when he told you, pressing kisses all over his face. “I’m so so so proud of you Lo, you deserve that seat.” You tell him in between kisses.
You spend the night doting on him, making him his favorite meal, watching his favorite show, you do everything you can to make him feel good, all leading up to where you currently have him laying down on your bed as you kiss him, grinding your hips against his.
You pull his shirt off of him and let your hands run down his chest. You trace his v line then fiddle with the waistband of his jeans. He nudges your thigh, and tugs his pants and boxers off as you take your clothes off.
Your eyes spot his blue helmet sitting on the shelf against the wall. You turn back to your boyfriend with a small smile on your face.
“What?” He asks, as he lays back down on the bed.
You walk over to the shelf and pick the helmet up, examining it in your hands. The smooth carbon fiber is cool against your skin.
“Will you wear it?” You ask Logan.
“Wear it?” He laughs. “You want me to wear my helmet while we have sex? Do you think I’m going to get a head injury?” His tone is teasing.
“No. I want you to wear it while I ride you. Some girls wanna ride a Ferrari, but I want to ride a Williams.” You say holding up the helmet that brandishes the Williams team logo.
He stares at you silently, his mouth hanging open. You take his silence as an answer. You shake your head, putting the helmet back on the shelf.
“I’m sorry, it was a stupid idea.”
“Give me the helmet.” Logan holds his hands out.
You take the helmet and slowly place it in his hands. He gives you a smirk before pulling it over his head. He flips the visor down, then lays back with his hands behind his head.
“Come on. You wanted to ride a Williams.” He says. His voice is a little muffled from the helmet, but god it’s so hot.
You climb on top of him and slowly sink yourself down onto his cock, taking him inch by inch. You sigh when you’re fully seated on him and look down at him. He’s unmoving, clearly not planning on helping you do any of the work.
You slowly lift yourself up and down his cock. It feels different, more intense than usual, the fact that you can’t see his face adds a new type of thrill.
He watches from behind the visor as you ride him. He watches as you drop a hand down to play with your clit, and feels you getting tighter around him.
It’s getting harder to see, the visor fogging up from his warm breaths. He knows you’re close, as is he, so he uses a hand to lift the visor up.
You see the green eyes that you fell in love with just as you reach your peak. You ride him through your orgasm, coaxing one out of him too.
He pulls the helmet off as you lift yourself off of him. He drops the helmet to the floor next to the bed, deciding he’d rather put it back on the shelf tomorrow and just hold you close right now.
He does, tracing lazy patterns on your back as you do the same on his chest.
“Did you like that?” You ask him softly.
“Oh, we are definitely doing that again.” He laughs.
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✨His true fate - Part 12/?✨
Summary: Jensen hasn't been happy for years. But it seems almost impossible for him to escape. After another nasty argument between him and his wife, he decides to visit his ´former´ best friend for his birthday. Back in Austin, an encounter awaits him that will turn his life completely upside down.
Pairing: Jensen x Reader
Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Language, age gap
Word Count: 6511
A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨
The next few days were a blur of tension and frustration for Jensen. Danneel’s constant presence and the ongoing strain in their relationship drove him to seek solace in his messages and calls with you. Each interaction was a lifeline, providing a brief escape from the chaos at home. You both kept each other updated, sharing moments of your daily lives and maintaining the connection you had built.
When Jensen finally left for the set, he felt a sense of relief, but it was short-lived. The demands of his work increased, and as soon as he got immersed in filming, his messages and calls grew less frequent. You noticed the change, feeling a pang of disappointment and worry. It seemed as though his interest in you was waning, and the silence stretched between you.
It had been six weeks since your night together, and Jensen hadn’t called or texted for the past three days. The uncertainty gnawed at you, making you question the bond you shared. In a moment of vulnerability, you reached out to Jared, asking if he was free to meet up. He responded positively, and the two of you decided to get a drink to catch up and take your mind off things.
Now, as you waited for Jared to pick you up, you couldn’t shake the feeling of anxiety. You wondered if you had misread the signals from Jensen, if maybe the distance and his busy schedule had taken a toll on your budding relationship. The anticipation of seeing Jared provided a small comfort, knowing you would have a friend to talk to.
When Jared arrived, he greeted you with a warm smile. “Hey, how are you holding up?”, he asked, genuine concern in his eyes.
You shrugged, trying to mask your worry. “I’ve been better, honestly. It’s just… complicated”.
Jared nodded, understanding. “I get it. Let’s go get that drink and talk it out”.
The two of you headed to a nearby bar, the atmosphere lively and welcoming. As you settled into a booth, Jared ordered drinks for both of you. The environment helped you relax a bit, and you felt grateful for his presence.
“So, what’s been going on?”, Jared asked, leaning forward with a supportive expression.
You hesitated, biting your lip as you considered how much to share. You knew Jared was probably Jensen’s best friend, and you didn’t want to cross any lines or betray Jensen’s trust. The weight of your thoughts made it difficult to find the right words.
Jared sensed your hesitation and gently urged, “Hey, it’s okay. You can talk to me. I promise, whatever you say stays between us”.
You took a deep breath, still feeling uncertain. “I just don’t want to come across as too clingy”, you began, your voice wavering slightly. “But honestly, I’ve been feeling really worried”.
Jared’s expression softened even further, and he nodded encouragingly. “It’s okay. Just tell me what’s going on”.
“Well”, you started, trying to organize your thoughts, “Jensen and I had been talking regularly, and everything felt so good. But ever since he started filming, his messages have become less frequent, and now it’s been three days without any contact. I can’t help but feel like he’s pulling away”.
Jared frowned slightly, considering your words. “I know it’s tough”, he said slowly. “Filming can be really demanding, and sometimes it’s hard to keep up with personal stuff. But I’ve known Jensen for a long time, and if he’s not reaching out, it’s probably because he’s genuinely busy, not because he’s lost interest”.
You looked down, feeling a bit ashamed of yourself for doubting Jensen. “I know he’s busy, but it’s just hard not to worry”, you admitted softly.
Jared reached out and gently placed a hand on your arm. “Hey, it’s okay to feel that way”, he said reassuringly. “Filming days can be really intense. They can stretch on for twelve, sometimes even sixteen hours. By the time he gets back to his trailer or wherever he’s staying, he’s probably exhausted”.
You nodded, understanding but still feeling the weight of your concerns. “I just don’t want to lose what we have”, you said quietly.
Jared gave you a warm smile. “I haven’t seen Jensen this happy in a long, long time”, he said earnestly. “He actually texted me a while back about how he can’t stop thinking about you. He was so excited and asked me for advice, but then he made me promise not to tell you because he didn’t want to seem, in his words, ‘like a pussy´”.
You couldn’t help but laugh at that, the tension easing a bit. “He said that?”.
Jared chuckled. “Yeah, he did. He’s really into you, trust me. Sometimes, he just needs a little nudge to remember to show it”.
Jared sipped on his drink, taking a moment before he continued. “You know, he even finally took the first step and set an appointment with a lawyer to get information about a divorce”, he said, his tone serious. “He’s going to do it when he’s in Austin for the convention in two weeks”.
Your eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”, you asked, feeling a mix of hope and apprehension.
“Yeah”, Jared confirmed, nodding. “He hasn’t done anything like this in over six years. You’re the reason he finally wants to change something about his life. He’s tired of the facade, and he wants to be genuinely happy”.
The weight of Jared’s words settled over you, bringing a flood of emotions. “I had no idea”, you said softly, feeling both overwhelmed and relieved.
“He didn’t want to put pressure on you or make you feel like you were responsible for his decisions”, Jared explained.
You nodded, absorbing the gravity of what Jared was saying. The idea that Jensen was making such significant changes because of his feelings for you was both exhilarating and daunting.
Jared continued, his voice gentle but firm. “Whatever this is between the two of you, Jensen definitely wants to see where it could lead. He’s not the kind of guy who throws around the word ‘love’ lightly or labels things too quickly. If there’s one thing you can be sure of, it’s that he needs time. He always has”.
You took a deep breath, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety. “I understand”, you said quietly. “I’m willing to give him that time”.
Jared smiled, his eyes warm with encouragement. “Believe me, he’s never cared about anyone the way he cares about you. Like, ever. I always told him that at some point he would meet his equal match, and I think he finally has”, He grinned, a playful glint in his eyes.
You couldn’t help but smile back, the weight of your worries lifting slightly. “Thank you, Jared. Hearing this from you means a lot”.
He nodded, taking another sip of his drink. “Anytime. Just hang in there, and things will work out. Jensen’s a good guy, and he deserves to be happy. So do you”.
The evening continued with lighter conversation, the heavy topics giving way to laughter and shared stories. By the time you said goodbye to Jared and headed home, you felt a renewed sense of hope and determination.
After Jared dropped you off at your apartment, you thanked him again for the evening and his reassuring words. Once inside, you got ready for bed, feeling a mix of exhaustion and lingering hope. As you settled under the covers, you decided to try calling Jensen, hoping to hear his voice and maybe get some reassurance directly from him.
You dialed his number and listened to the phone ring, but after a few moments, it went to voicemail. Sighing, you tried not to let disappointment creep back in. You reminded yourself of everything Jared had told you, about how busy Jensen was and how much he cared about you.
Determined to stay positive, you typed out a message: “Hey, I hope everything on set is going well. I miss you and can’t wait to see you. It’s only two weeks left! Take care”.
You hit send and set your phone on the nightstand, feeling a bit lighter having reached out. As you closed your eyes, you focused on the promise of seeing him again soon, letting Jared’s words of encouragement replay in your mind.
As you woke up the next morning, you reached for your phone with a sense of anticipation, hoping to find a message from Jensen in response to your text. However, as you unlocked your phone and checked your messages, there was still nothing from him.
A pang of disappointment washed over you, despite your efforts to stay positive the previous night. You stared at the screen for a moment, trying to push away the creeping doubt and insecurity. You reminded yourself that Jared had emphasized how demanding Jensen's schedule could be.
Taking a deep breath, you decided not to dwell on it. Instead, you focused on getting ready for your day, hoping that Jensen would reach out when he had a moment. You busied yourself with work and errands, trying to keep your mind occupied and not let the lack of communication affect your mood.
Throughout the day, you periodically checked your phone, hoping for a message that didn't come. Each time, the absence of a reply caused a twinge of anxiety, making you wonder if something had changed between you two.
As the hours passed, you tried to distract yourself with other activities, but Jensen's silence weighed on your mind. You found it hard to shake the feeling of uncertainty, wondering if your message had been too much or if something else was bothering him.
By the evening, you decided to give him a bit more time before reaching out again. You knew he had a lot on his plate, and you didn't want to add pressure by bombarding him with messages. Instead, you resolved to be patient and trust that he would respond when he could.
As you prepared for bed that night, you couldn't help but feel a sense of longing to hear from Jensen. You hoped that tomorrow would bring a message from him, reassuring you that everything was okay and that he was still looking forward to seeing you in two weeks. With that hope in your heart, you settled under the covers, hoping for a peaceful night's sleep despite the lingering uncertainty.
It wasn’t until midnight, when you were barely awake anymore, that your phone buzzed, rousing you from the edge of sleep. Groggily, you glanced at the screen and saw Jensen’s name flashing. Your heart leapt with a mix of relief and exhaustion as you answered the call.
“Hey”, you murmured, your voice heavy with fatigue.
“Hey”, Jensen’s voice came through, sounding equally tired but warm. “I’m sorry for calling so late. It’s been a crazy day on set, and I just finished up”.
You sighed, a mixture of relief and lingering worry in your breath. “It’s okay, I’m just glad to hear from you. I was starting to get worried”.
“I know, and I’m really sorry about that”, he said, his tone sincere. “I didn’t mean to make you worry. Things have been intense here, and I’ve been trying to catch up with everything. I miss you”.
“I miss you too”, you replied softly, your eyes closing as you listened to his voice. “I was just hoping everything was alright”.
“Everything’s fine, just really hectic”, he reassured you. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot. It’s just been hard to find a moment to breathe, let alone call”.
You smiled weakly, feeling a bit better hearing his explanation. “I get it”, you replied, sympathy lacing your tired voice. “I know filming can be crazy. Just hearing from you now makes it all better”.
Jensen sighed softly on the other end of the line, his fatigue palpable even through the phone. “I wish I could be there with you”, he confessed, his voice tinged with longing.
“I wish that too”, you murmured, your heart fluttering at his words. Despite the distance and the challenges, you felt a deep connection with him, one that seemed to grow stronger with each conversation, even if they were infrequent lately.
There was a brief pause before Jensen spoke again, his voice softer now. “Hey, I have something to tell you”, he began tentatively.
Your curiosity piqued, you propped yourself up on your elbow, suddenly more awake. “What is it?”, you asked, a mix of anticipation and apprehension coloring your tone.
Jensen hesitated for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts. “I… um… I’ve been thinking a lot about us”, he admitted slowly. “About what we talked about before, and… I think… I want to talk about it more when I see you”.
Your heart skipped a beat, the weight of his words sinking in. “Okay”, you replied softly, trying to keep your voice steady despite the emotions swirling inside you.
“I just…”, Jensen paused again, his voice slightly husky.
Your heart raced at his words, a mix of excitement and anxiety flooding your system. Despite the warmth in his voice, a nagging self-doubt crept into your thoughts, making you question the depth of his commitment.
“Jensen”, you began hesitantly, your voice barely a whisper, “you don’t want to end whatever this is, right?”.
There was a moment of silence on the other end, and you could almost hear the gears turning in his mind as he processed your question. When he finally spoke, his voice was firm and reassuring.
“No! No, absolutely not”, he said, the conviction in his tone clear.
Jensen let himself fall back onto the couch in his trailer, still in his Soldier Boy suit. The weight of the day and the intensity of the conversation seemed to melt away as he heard the relief in your voice.
“Thank you”, you whispered, feeling a surge of affection for him. “I needed to hear that”.
He smiled, though you couldn’t see it, the warmth in his expression evident in his voice. “I promise, we’ll figure this out. Just hang in there a little longer”.
“Okay”, you agreed softly, feeling the exhaustion of the day starting to catch up with you again. “I trust you”.
There was a short silence, comfortable yet charged with unspoken emotions. Wanting to lift the mood, you decided to tease him a bit. “So, how’s it going being Soldier Boy? Does the suit still fit after all these months?”.
Jensen chuckled, the sound warm and genuine. “Barely”, he admitted with a playful groan. “You’d think they’d make these suits a bit more comfortable. I feel like a stuffed sausage half the time”.
You laughed softly, the image of him struggling with the tight suit bringing a smile to your face. “Well, I think you look great in it”, you said, your voice filled with affection. “But I might be a bit biased”.
“I appreciate the vote of confidence”, Jensen replied, his tone light. “Though I’m pretty sure I’m going to have permanent marks from this thing”.
“You’re tough. You’ll survive”, you teased. “Just don’t forget to take it off before you go to bed. I can’t imagine it’s comfortable to sleep in”.
Jensen laughed again, the tension from earlier melting away. “I promise I won’t. But now that you mention it, I could use some help with the zipper…”.
You rolled your eyes playfully, even though he couldn’t see it. “Nice try, Ackles. I’m sure you can manage”.
“I guess I’ll have to”, he sighed dramatically, though you could hear the smile in his voice. “But I’ll save the real struggle for when I get to see you”.
“I’ll hold you to that”, you said softly, feeling a warmth spread through you at the thought.
“Goodnight, Jensen”, you added, your voice filled with affection.
“Goodnight Baby”, he replied, his tone equally tender.
As soon as the nickname slipped out, both your hearts skipped a beat. You had already ended the call, but the word hung in the air, leaving a lingering sense of intimacy and affection. Jensen stared at his phone for a moment, then slapped his face lightly in annoyance at himself. “Nice going”, he muttered under his breath, a mix of embarrassment and amusement coloring his thoughts.
Meanwhile, you lay back on your pillow, a broad smile spreading across your face. The nickname, though simple, made you feel all giddy. You couldn’t help but feel like a love-drunk teenager, the excitement of your relationship making everything seem brighter.
Jensen took a deep breath, the exhaustion of the day starting to catch up with him. Despite his slip-up, he couldn’t stop smiling. Grabbing his phone again, he texted Jared: “Thanks for the hint, she really was a bit off. Should have texted her sooner. I’m so fucking bad at this”.
Jared, relaxing at home, chuckled as he read Jensen’s message. He quickly typed back: “No problem. Yeah, she did seem a bit lost so I thought a heads-up would help you. No wonder, Ackles, your dating life—like real dating life—was a bit rusty”.
Jensen laughed softly at Jared’s response, appreciating his friend’s honesty and support. He typed back: “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks for having my back, man”.
Jared smiled as he replied: “Anytime, buddy. I really like her. There’s no way I’m gonna let you sabotage this relationship”.
Jensen read Jared’s message with a mixture of amusement and gratitude. He knew Jared always had his best interests at heart, and hearing his friend’s approval of you meant a lot. Typing back, Jensen said: “I know, man. I’m not letting this slip away".
Jared’s response came swiftly: “Good. Just keep communicating. She’s a great catch, and you know it”.
Jensen sighed, feeling a mixture of relief and determination after reading Jared’s message. He knew his friend was right—communication and honesty were key. Determined to keep things on track, he set his phone aside and headed to the bathroom to shower.
The hot water cascading over his tired muscles was a welcome relief, washing away the stress and fatigue of the day. As he stood under the spray, Jensen let his thoughts drift to you. The memory of your voice, your smile, and the warmth of your presence brought a smile to his face. He couldn’t wait to see you again and make things right.
After his shower, Jensen dried off and climbed into bed, the exhaustion from the day finally catching up with him. He grabbed his phone one last time to send you a message: “Goodnight. Sweet dreams. Can’t wait to see you”.
With that, he set his phone on the nightstand and turned off the light, letting the comforting darkness envelop him.
The next few days, Jensen made a concerted effort to text you more frequently and call you whenever he had a spare moment, even if it was just for a few minutes. You appreciated his efforts, feeling more connected and reassured by his consistent communication. Meanwhile, you met with Jared twice that week, catching up, grabbing food, and just enjoying each other’s company. Jared’s presence provided a comforting distraction, and his insights about Jensen’s busy life helped ease your concerns.
One evening, it was pretty late when your phone buzzed with an incoming video call from Jensen. Your heart skipped a beat as you answered the call. The screen lit up with Jensen’s face, and you instantly sucked in your lip at the sight of him in his Soldier Boy suit. He was lying relaxed in bed, the dark green fabric accentuating his strong build and making him look effortlessly alluring.
“Hey”, you greeted him, trying to keep your voice steady despite the rush of emotions. “You look… intense”.
Jensen chuckled, the sound rich and warm. “Yeah, still in costume. It’s been a long day”, he said, running a hand through his hair. “I just wanted to catch you before you fell asleep”.
You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you. “I’m glad you called. It’s been a while since we did this”.
He nodded, his eyes softening as he looked at you. “I know, and I’m sorry about that. Things have just been so crazy. But I’ve missed seeing your face”.
“Me too”, you admitted. “How’s everything going on set?”.
“Busy, but good”, he replied, adjusting his position slightly. “We’re making progress, and I’m happy with how things are shaping up. But a bit more time to spend with you would be nice”.
“We’ll have our time soon enough”, you said, trying to keep the conversation light. “Only a little longer, right?”.
“Yeah, only a little longer”, he echoed, his gaze lingering on your face through the screen. “I can’t wait”.
The two of you continued to talk, catching up on the details of your lives, sharing stories, and enjoying the connection that had been hard to maintain amidst his busy schedule. Jensen’s presence, even through a screen, brought a sense of comfort and closeness that you had missed dearly.
“Can you show me more of the suit?”, you asked teasingly, wanting to lighten the mood and see more of the costume that made him look so imposing yet irresistible.
Jensen grinned at your request, amused by your playful tone.
“Alright, here we go”, he said, chuckling softly. “Just remember, it’s not exactly designed for comfort”.
As he moved slightly, adjusting to give you a better view, you couldn’t help but admire how the dark green fabric accentuated his physique. The suit looked sleek and formidable, yet seeing Jensen in it made you feel a mix of pride and admiration.
“There”, Jensen said finally, settling back against the pillows. “That’s about all you’re gonna get. It’s not the most comfortable thing to lounge around in”.
You grinned, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. “Well, you sure look pretty hot in it”, you said, your voice playful yet sincere.
Jensen’s eyes twinkling with amusement. “Glad you think so”, he replied, his tone teasing. “Though I’d much rather be out of it and comfortable”.
“Do you still have to film tonight?”, you asked softly.
Jensen nodded, brushing his hand over his face. “Yeah, just a 30-minute break right now”, he mumbled, his voice heavy with fatigue.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”.
Jensen raised an eyebrow, a small, teasing smile playing on his lips. “You really want to help?”.
“Of course”, you replied earnestly, feeling your heart swell with affection for him. “Anything to make it a bit easier for you”.
Jensen’s grin widened, his eyes brightening with a mix of appreciation and playful mischief. “Well, since you offered… how about a little distraction? Something to take my mind off the exhaustion for a bit?”.
You chuckled softly, relieved to see him lighten up. “What kind of distraction do you have in mind?”.
He leaned closer to the camera, his gaze intense yet playful. “Well, you and your perfect little tits are quite the distraction”, he said teasingly, his voice dropping to a husky whisper.
You felt a blush creep up your cheeks, but you couldn’t help but smile at his compliment. “Oh really?”, you replied, your voice playful and flirtatious. “Well, I guess I can’t argue with that”.
Jensen’s grin widened, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Definitely can’t argue with that”, he said, his tone light but filled with genuine appreciation.
Feeling a surge of boldness, you adjusted your position slightly and started slowly unbuttoning your shirt. As the fabric fell away, leaving you in just your bra, you saw Jensen’s eyes darken with desire. Your hand slipped inside the cup of your bra, teasing your own skin as you watched his reaction.
Jensen groaned, taking a deep breath. “You’re going to be the death of me”, he muttered, his voice rough with longing.
You smiled, feeling a thrill at his words and the power you had over him. “I aim to please”, you replied softly, your fingers continuing to tease your skin. “How am I doing so far?”.
"You’re doing more than perfect”, Jensen replied, his voice husky with desire. As he watched you, his free hand moved to the belt of his suit, starting to undo it slowly. His eyes never left you, the intensity of his gaze sending shivers down your spine.
“Show me more”, he urged, his voice low and commanding.
Your breath hitched at his request, feeling a surge of excitement. Slowly, you slipped your bra strap down your shoulder, revealing more of your skin. Your fingers traced over the curve of your breast, teasingly tugging at the fabric.
Jensen’s eyes darkened further, his hand now fully focused on loosening his belt. The anticipation in the air was palpable, and you could feel the connection between you growing stronger with each passing moment.
“Like this?", you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, filled with a mix of shyness and boldness.
“Yes, just like that”, Jensen groaned, finally freeing himself from the confines of his suit. His hand moved to his already stiffened erection, stroking himself slowly as he watched you.
You unclipped your bra, letting it fall away completely, exposing your bare chest to Jensen’s hungry gaze. The cool air made your nipples harden, and you brought your hands up to squeeze them gently, rolling the sensitive buds between your fingers. The sensation sent waves of pleasure through you, and you let out a soft moan, your eyes never leaving Jensen’s.
Jensen’s breath hitched, his hand moving more purposefully along his length. “You’re so beautiful”, he murmured, his voice filled with raw need. “Keep going. Touch yourself for me”.
Obeying his command, you brought your hands back up to your breasts, gently squeezing your nipples and rolling them between your fingers. The sensation sent ripples of pleasure through your body, and you let out a soft moan, watching the way Jensen’s gaze intensified as he watched you.
“Just like that”, he encouraged, his breath coming quicker. "Turn the camera”, Jensen groaned, his voice rough with need. “I want to see all of you”.
You bit your lip, feeling a thrill at his request. “Only if you do the same”, you replied teasingly, your voice low and seductive.
Jensen’s eyes darkened further with desire. “Deal”, he agreed, his voice filled with anticipation.
You adjusted your phone, angling the camera to give him a better view of your body. As you slid your hand lower, your fingers grazing the sensitive skin just above your panties, you watched as Jensen’s expression grew even more intense.
“Now you”, you whispered, your voice trembling with excitement.
Jensen complied, adjusting his camera so that you could see more of his body. His hand continued to move rhythmically along his length, and the sight of him pleasuring himself sent a fresh wave of desire through you.
“I wish I could touch you right now”, he murmured, his voice filled with awe and longing.
Your fingers slipped beneath the waistband of your panties, finding your most sensitive spot. You let out a soft moan. “I wish you could too”, you whispered, your breath coming in short, quick gasps. “Tell me what you want to do to me”.
Jensen groaned deeply, his eyes darkening with lust as he watched you touch yourself. “I want to feel your tight pussy wrapped around me”, he murmured, his voice thick with desire. “I want to stretch you out, feel you struggling to take me in”.
Your breath hitched at his words, the memory of that night flooding back. You had struggled to take him, the feeling of being so full and stretched turning you on even more. “Jensen”, you whispered, your voice trembling.
“Fuck, you were so tight”, Jensen continued, his hand moving faster on his erection. “I could feel every little squeeze, every flutter, trying to take me in”.
You moaned softly, your fingers slipping deeper, mimicking the sensation of him inside you. “I remember how full you made me feel”, you said breathlessly.
Jensen’s eyes were locked onto you, his breathing growing more ragged. “I love the way you look when you’re trying to take all of me”, he murmured, his voice rough with need. “The way your body arches, the way you moan my name. It’s the hottest thing ever”.
Jensen’s breathing grew even more ragged. “Pull down your panties”, he urged, his voice a low growl.
Your body trembled at his command, the anticipation sending waves of desire through you. Slowly, you hooked your fingers into the waistband of your panties and slid them down your legs, revealing yourself fully to him. The cool air heightened your arousal, and you could see the intensity in Jensen’s eyes as he watched your every move.
“Good girl”, he murmured, his voice thick with desire. “Now, let me see those fingers”.
You bit your lip, feeling a mix of shyness and boldness. Your hand moved back between your legs, and you let out a soft moan as your fingers slipped inside you. The sensation was electrifying, and you couldn’t help but arch your back, your body responding to the pleasure.
Jensen groaned, his hand moving faster on his length as he watched you. “That’s it”, he encouraged, his voice a husky whisper. “Show me how good it feels”.
Your breath came in short, ragged gasps as you continued to pleasure yourself. “It feels so good”, you moaned, your voice trembling. “I wish you were here”.
“I’d fill you up so completely. Make you come so hard”.
Jensen’s eyes darkened with a primal hunger as he gripped his dick harder, his hand moving faster along his length. The sight of you pleasuring yourself intensified his desire, every moan you made driving him closer to the edge.
“Show me”, he urged, his voice rough with need. “Show me how wet you are”.
You felt a shiver of anticipation run down your spine as you obeyed, your fingers slipping out of your wet folds. You brought your fingers up to the camera, glistening with your arousal.
“You’re so fucking sexy”, he groaned, his strokes becoming more urgent. “I can’t wait to feel how wet you are around me”.
The heat between you was palpable, the distance only heightening the longing and anticipation. Your free hand moved back to your clit, rubbing it in slow, deliberate circles as you continued to watch him.
“You wanna come for me?”, he asked, his voice a low growl.
Your breath hitched, the intensity of his gaze and the sound of his voice pushing you closer to the edge. “Yes”, you whispered, your voice trembling with need. “I want to come for you, Jensen”.
He groaned, his hand moving faster on his length as he watched you, his own release building. “Then do it”, he urged. “Come for me”.
Your fingers moved more urgently on your clit, the pleasure mounting to an unbearable peak. “Jensen”, you gasped, your body trembling. “I’m so close”.
“Come for me, baby”, he commanded, his voice rough with desire.
The wet sounds of your pussy filled the room as you came, your body trembling with the intensity of your orgasm. Your cries of ecstasy echoed through the phone, your fingers working frantically to prolong the waves of pleasure that surged through you.
Jensen’s breath hitched, his strokes becoming more urgent as he watched you come undone for him. “You’re so beautiful when you come”, he groaned.
The sight and sound of your orgasm pushed Jensen over the edge. His body tensed, his hand moving frantically along his length as he found his release. “Fuck”, he groaned, his own orgasm hitting with an intensity that left him breathless.
As the waves of pleasure slowly ebbed away, Jensen lay there, his chest rising and falling heavily. He watched you, a contented smile forming on his lips. “There’s something about the way you moan my name”, he murmured breathlessly, his voice filled with a mix of awe and satisfaction.
You smiled back at him, still catching your breath. “I guess I’ll have to do it more often then”, you replied teasingly, your voice soft and affectionate.
Jensen chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement and warmth. “I won’t complain about that”, he said, his tone light. “You’ve got me hooked".
You blushed and bit your lip, feeling a wave of warmth spread through you. The intimacy of the moment, even through a screen, was overwhelming. “You know”, you said softly, “I never thought I could feel this connected to someone from a distance”.
Jensen’s smile widened, his eyes filled with affection. “Me neither”, he admitted. “But there’s something about you… It’s different. Special”. You watched as Jensen cleaned himself up, pulling up his zipper and closing his belt.
Just as he finished, the door to his trailer swung open and his colleague Karl Urban stepped inside.
“Ackles”, Karl called out, a grin spreading across his face. “You ready? We need you on set”.
Jensen turned to face Karl, his expression shifting from affection to professionalism in an instant. “Yeah, just give me a sec”, he replied, flashing a quick smile.
Karl’s eyes flicked to his phone and back to Jensen, a knowing smirk on his face. “Say goodbye to your girl. We’ve got some ass-kicking to do”. He didn't know it was you on the phone and not Jensen's wife.
You chuckled softly, “Go be a hero, soldier boy”.
Jensen grinned at your words, feeling a rush of affection. “I’ll catch you later”, he promised, his eyes lingering on the screen for a moment before he ended the call.
As he set his phone aside, Karl raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “You’re whipped, mate”, he teased, but there was no malice in his tone.
Jensen laughed, shaking his head. “Maybe I am”, he admitted, feeling a warmth spread through him at the thought. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way”.
Karl clapped him on the back, steering him towards the set. “Come on, lover boy. Time to get to work”.
The transition from the personal moment to the professional was seamless for Jensen, who slipped back into character with practiced ease. As he stepped onto the set, the weight of his responsibilities returned, but the memory of your voice and the connection you shared gave him a renewed sense of energy and focus.
Meanwhile, you lay back in bed, the glow of your interaction with Jensen lingering. The promise of seeing him again soon, and the intimacy of your conversation, filled you with a sense of contentment and anticipation.
Back on set, Jensen delivered his lines with intensity and precision, each action scene executed with the dedication of a seasoned professional. But even as he fought fictional battles and faced onscreen challenges, a part of his mind remained with you, counting down the days until you could be together again.
Hours later, as the day’s filming wrapped up, Jensen finally had a moment to himself. He grabbed his phone and found your message from earlier, rereading your words with a smile. He quickly typed a reply, letting you know he was thinking about you and couldn’t wait for your next call.
“Just finished for the night. Thinking about you. Can’t wait to see you soon. Sleep well”.
Two weeks later, Jensen lay back in his bed, still in his trailer on set, feeling the fatigue of a long day’s work but also the excitement of knowing he’d be flying to Austin tomorrow. He had his phone propped up, and your face filled the screen as you both enjoyed a late-night video chat.
“I’ll be there around noon”, Jensen said, a smile tugging at his lips as he watched you bite your lip, clearly eager for his visit.
“It feels like we’ve been waiting forever”, you replied, your voice a mix of excitement and anticipation.
“Tell me about it”, Jensen agreed. “These last few weeks have been torture”.
You bit your lip again, feeling the nervous flutter in your chest as you hesitated to ask. "So, are you going to stay at Jared’s or at a hotel?".
Jensen chuckled softly, his eyes warm with affection. "Actually, I was hoping you might invite me to stay at yours", he replied, his voice gentle and teasing.
Your cheeks flushed at his words, a shy smile playing on your lips. "Oh", you murmured, trying to hide your excitement. "I mean, if you want to…".
Jensen’s grin widened, the playful glint in his eyes intensifying. “If I want to?”, he echoed, teasingly raising an eyebrow. “You mean you don’t want me to stay with you? Maybe I should reconsider that hotel…”.
You laughed softly, shaking your head. “No, no. I definitely want you to stay with me”, you said, your voice filled with both nervousness and excitement. “I just didn’t want to assume anything”.
“Good, because I was planning on monopolizing your time”, Jensen replied, his tone light and mischievous. “I don’t want to give you any excuses to escape”.
“Trust me, I wouldn’t dream of escaping”, you said, your voice dropping to a soft whisper.
“Oh, really? You’re going to be stuck with me, then”, he teased, leaning closer to the camera. “You sure you can handle that?”.
You laughed, feeling a mix of excitement and playful tension. “I think I can manage”, you replied, trying to match his teasing tone. “I might even enjoy it”.
“Might, huh?”, Jensen chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to do my best to make sure you do”.
You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you at his words. “I’m looking forward to it”, you said softly.
Jensen’s expression softened, his eyes filled with affection. “Me too. It’s been too long”.
“I can’t wait to see you”, you said, your voice filled with sincerity.
“I can’t wait to hold you”, Jensen replied, his tone matching yours.
———————————
A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰
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Part 13
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#jensen ackles#jensen ackles x you#jensen ackles x reader#jensen x reader#jensen x y/n#jensen x you#jensen ackles x female!reader#jensen ackles x y/n#jensen ackles the boys#his true fate
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Mr. Miller's Show
[not my gif] pairing: joel miller x fem!reader (afab, some use of she/her, use of the words girl/woman) rating: explicit. (18+. mdni.) word count: 7.3k (back to regularly scheduled programming) requested: yes thank you all for all the patience srsly <3 summary: “'like how sweet you've been t'me, sugar," he mutters gently, head tilting, "why y'gonna go and fuck all that up now?'" warnings: gendered words (girl, woman, etc) allusions to PTSD, porn with feelings, guys theyre like getting healthier, SMUT (PiV unprotected), oral (M receiving), deepthroating, rough sex, face-fucking, shower smut, counter smut, reader is a tease, masturbation (f), marijuana use as always lol, brief voyeurism, canon-typical violence, age gap (undefined but mentioned), ass play (spitting, fingering, only a bit sorryyyy), mirror sex again bc im a whore, reader has hair long enough to grab, hair pulling, lots of choking, spit kink, light slapping (f receiving, consensual), dirty talk, praise kink but also degradation, use of words like slut, brat tamer!joel, overstimulation, MEAN!JOEL YALL, but he has feelings so he’s also kinda soft!dom in this again, once again sooo unedited that it hurts. notes: finally finally after over a month im back!! hope you enjoy this chapter, ive been having rough writers block with this story so any suggestions and requests are very welcomed!!! thanks for all the love and as always, comments & reblogs w tags are motivation and help out so much!!! love u all <3 also for the taglist, it's too big now and i may consider stopping my taglist, just letting everyone know!!! ill lyk if i do ofc but im reblogging with the list this time.
[this is part six of the Mr Miller series. read previous part sympathy for the devil. main masterlist here. ]
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"you're wearing earrings."
Joel's voice cuts through the serene chill in the air, shocking you enough to have your head turning away from where you stare ahead - you crane your neck too much, but you can just see the dusted gray and dark of his curls behind you as your brows raise.
it takes you a second to understand the sentence he's just uttered to you out of nowhere- but you blink to life, clearing your throat as the dead trees pass you by.
"oh. yeah, it's... they're new. didn't really wear stuff like that until..." you shrug, trailing off as you stare forward yet again. your heart thumps as his chest rumbles against your back - jesus, he's so close to you. it's been weeks since he's been this close, even if this is just work.
your body wants what it wants, you suppose.
your lips purse, lost in the press of his thick body behind you.
"-till?"
your lip twitches in a smile for a split moment; he's waiting for you to finish your sentence. as if he cares.
Joel...
he's been so normal recently. or as normal as you could ever imagine Joel Miller to be; full sentence-conversations full of questions, full sentences, and even an occasional joke or dry line littered in with his glares and eye-rolls. he's even taught you and ellie to woodwork, nodded in hello when you picked up Ellie on your way into town - hell, he'd actually gotten a drink with you after patrol a few days ago and held eye contact for a whole thirty minutes.
a fucking miracle.
and even, on rare occasions, you are rewarded with that mind-splitting, earth-shattering smile - a very rare but rewarding sight. the kind that shocks a room, silences you and Ellie both, lights the sun and makes the birds sing. makes your stomach flutter.
so perhaps things have changed.
it makes you almost laugh to yourself, recalling that day so many moons ago when you had walked into the Bison and first stared into those stony eyes; how big his calloused hands were, the way his lip lifted in distaste at your crass words.
the sway of the horse makes your hips move gently; your ass is starting to feel sore at the constant motion and as you rock forward with the decline of the hill, you feel Joel's body slide slightly as though he tries against everything to press fully against you. even though you wish he would.
heat paints your face as you feel his breath on your neck, waiting patiently for you to finish your sentence.
your sharp breath exhales as you realize you've hesitated at his questioning, a bit too long - you smile sheepishly, shrugging. "-sorry, didn't..." you clear your throat, "couldn't remember the last time I wore earrings. not that it matters, but I just..." you thumb the makeshift earring back, grinning to the mane of the horse as he trudges you and Joel both along.
"-it feels nice. makes me feel like myself." you finish, shrugging awkwardly.
for all of the steps Joel has taken in the last few weeks to change, there are some things you still have a hard time with.
talking about yourselves and opening up is a very large, unmovable hurdle that you and him are still clearly trying to pull yourselves over. it's quiet for a second as your words seep into the dead surroundings, less than an hour from town.
"look nice." he grunts quietly, his arms pressing slightly from where he straddles the saddle behind your frame.
your eyes widen at the seemingly random compliment, face flooding with flattery and embarrassment. your grin betrays you, but you don't dare stutter out a broken thank you for fear that you will sound like a croaking frog; instead, you purse your lips over the giddy grin that spreads over your cheeks and hope that as he stares at the profile of your face, he can see the flattery written across your features.
"Ellie has a matching pair." you say instead, sparing a quick glance back at Joel. his brows raise, jaw ticking as he takes in the information - your voices both echo at the same time as you speak over each other suddenly:
"she doesn't have her ears pierced." "in case she ever gets them pierced."
you let out a short huff of laughter, nodding sheepishly at having accidentally interrupted each other; Joel shakes his head with a ghost of a smile.
"got it." he nods, "s'real nice of you." he nods, "making a pair for her, too."
his chest is right on you - broad, warm through all the layers, and smelling of pine, whiskey, sage. amber. it's intoxicating as his drawl rumbles in the back of your ear - you silently thank Tommy or whoever the hell it was who ordered half the horses to rest after a bout of sickness spread through the stable; sharing a horse has never once before today seemed like a good idea.
but the good idea sours quickly when you kick speed slightly, the horse leaping over a small creek as your hips shift back into Joel's and your ass presses into him.
your mouth dries as you shakily exhale; he's so close to you - smells so good. your hands grip the reigns tighter and you nearly jump when a large, calloused hand falls onto your hips to steady you after the change in pace.
your mind travels back to that morning after you'd stayed with Joel in his own bed - how gentle his hands had been as he'd guided you towards your own house under the early morning sunrise; your eyes bleary with sleep but his smile still cracking bashfully when you'd kissed his cheek, muttering about how maybe Ellie'd missed your boots by the front door when she'd come home.
she and Joel certainly haven't said anything you if she did notice, anyways.
you clear your throat, ignoring the searing desire that spirals from where his hand touches your clothed hip; you shrug, "she said she liked mine, so I figured we could match."
he hums lowly at your word, his nose brushing slightly over the crown of your head. shivers roll over your shoulders as you swallow, retreating into the silence that you've lived in for the last few weeks since the two of you were put back on patrol.
but you stiffen when a hand runs down your side, over the jagged stitching of your jacket, and you suck in a sharp inhale. his other hand slides forward, hooking gently around your hip, fingers splaying over the very top of your thigh and your throat dries up; a faint desire awakened and soon screaming at you. you squirm under his touch.
Joel's hips adjust behind you gently in the next second, your eyes fluttering shut as you imagine him pulling you into him, his hard cock sliding between the round globes of your ass and through your dripping folds, his hands greedy and hungry; his words sharp, teasing. his touch, sweet. intoxicating-
your eyes open again and your heart skips a beat, his knees hitting the outside of your thighs.
christ. your whole body tingles as you shift slightly, rotating your hips as the buck of the horse's cant tilts you further away from the heat of his broad chest. no, you can't stand his teasing - intentional or not, Joel is making you nearly melt in desire.
jesus.
you're barely pulling the horse to the side of the path when, with barely a crane of his neck, Joel mutters, "the hell are y'doin?"
you suddenly pull the reins and mutter woah, slipping yourself off of the horse and onto the hard ground with a burning face, your lungs screaming for air as Joel protests.
"what-" he grunts as he pulls himself down from the stirrups, face etched with irritation and concern at your sudden evacuation, "is there an issue?"
you can hear the irritation in his voice and you sigh, shaking your head - your heart's thundering, face hot and surely laced with poorly-hid embarrassment. god, what the fuck is wrong with you? there's barely forty minutes back to Jackson, why couldn't you just suck it up for a few more torturous minutes until you could return home to your trusty drawer and hot shower?
"no." you snap, "no problem, Joel." your heart is thundering with surprise at his concern, eyes glaring daggers at him before shooting down towards the heat that nearly blisters on your forearm; his hand, warm and gentle, asking silently if you're okay. your eyes soften before you can school your expression - he reads you, as always, like his favorite novel.
his hand falls away gently, grazing your finger tips like the gentlest breeze on your face and it still surprises you.
"alright," he says softly, eyes searching your flustered appearance. "can we get back on the horse, then?" he asks - his voice is surprisingly patient, though his eyes are wary. irritated, but concerned.
you clear your throat, unable to contain yourself much longer. "we could- take a break."
his brows raise, tilting his head, "a break? we're nearly back. s'almost nightfall."
you shift your weight, avoiding the way his corded arms cross over each other, his frame towering over yours as you dully throb in arousal.
"you're-" you squeak, shaking your head, "you're fucking crowding me, and I need- fuck-" you groan, "just- just fuck off for a second, Joel." you snap, bursting in frustration, unsure how to just admit you are being driven fucking crazy with lust by his presence.
his head tilts, "fuck off?" his eyes are darker every second you stand, facing each other- "the hell's gotten into you?" he sounds offended, and your heart flips as you feel bad - you're trying, you're trying so hard to be normal around him, as he is with you - so one touch, one innocent adjustment of his hips and now you're freaking out on him again?
you need to get a grip, or at least be honest.
your face burns as his stern gaze rolls over each curve of your body; "Joel, you're driving me fucking crazy." you snap, glaring at him.
he looks shocked, hands flying out, "I barely said anythin' this whole goddamn day, how the hell am I still fucking this up?" he snaps back, irritated - his eyes incredulous as he stares down at you.
flames lick up your sides as you grind your teeth - his hair looks much more wavy with his curls today, and the green of his jacket it making the golden on his skin nearly glow; you nearly growl as you jump towards him. he's too much. too fucking much.
your hands lock on his shoulders, tugging yourself up towards his face as your lips fall against his.
the kiss is a shock to you both.
you're not sure what really compelled you to do it - the stubble over his sharp jaw, his hair, the way his thighs pressed against the outsides of yours just minutes ago, the way he pressed on about the earrings - whatever, it doesn't matter, because he's kissing you back and you're melting like butter over a campfire.
his lips press hard back against yours through his shocked inhale, surging against you in a dizzying haze of Joel.
but the kiss is seared away from your lips when Joel suddenly shoots his thick hand out, rising to grip hard at your throat, shoving you backwards.
it's more shocking than the sudden kiss - the speed in which he pulls back and pushes you hard backwards by his warm grip, causing flutters of arousal to course through your stomach.
you stumble in shock but he keeps his hold on you, passionate as he movers the two of you back. you're torn away from his warmth as he presses you with one hand on the small of your back and the other on the beating pulse of your throat - right against a tree, nudging you as he tilts his head down to your height once more.
he's back on you in no less than a split second; his heat swirling around the cold air, teeth nipping at your lip when you take a moment longer than he'd like to open your lips to his tongue. he groans against you, a warm and deep thing that you feel in your own chest as your hand slides up to his hair, tugging at the base of his neck.
the fingers around your throat flex and tighten in reaction to your own grip and the moan that rips from your throat sends his hips in a slow thrust against yours.
you've been desperate for his touch for fucking days - he's been walking on eggshells even after you'd spent the night with him a few weeks ago. he'd barely touched you, taking his time trying to make up for all the lost time you'd spent trying to rip each other's heads off instead of your clothes.
and sure, you don't know who you are with him still - nothing defined, and a lot of things still unspoken - but for the first time since this whole mess started, that doesn't bother you. there's not much anger, nor jealousy - just... Joel. and you.
it's not bad.
his lips leave yours as he breathes against your lips, "like how sweet you've been t'me, sugar," he mutters gently, head tilting, "why y'gonna go and fuck all that up now?"
his hand slips from your back lower, tugging you against his semi-hard cock as his fingers squeeze your ass. his hand lies just below your jugular, thumb soothing over your cold skin as his dark eyes glint with desire. you feel a rush of arousal pool between your legs as you raise your brows.
"-you need to stop fucking touching me like that when we're riding, Miller." you growl against his lips, staring back at him. you lean slightly to catch his lips with yours once again but he pulls back with a strong hand against your neck to stop you - teasing.
he tuts, "you need to learn how to use your words, sweetheart." he growls against you, teeth catching on your bottom lip.
you whimper at the sharp sting, chasing him as if you could steal a kiss. he tilts his head just out of reach, his hand pressing against you until your breath comes out slightly ragged; your pussy flutters as he squeezes, knee sliding against your clothed core.
"if you want it, ask for it, baby." he all but demands, hands rough against you, "can't just throw a fit every time you're aching for my cock, or else you'll be whinin' all goddamn day. how am I supposed to know-"
but there's a snap of a twig somewhere behind you and you both spring apart, straight as boards, hackles raised.
it's almost like deja-vu as you're both thrown from your stupor - ripping away, your voices cease as your hand flies to your hunting knife - in your peripheral, you see that Joel's slung around his rifle so quick you're almost impressed as you both stare to your left.
christ - just the fucking horse, tied to the tree. stepped on a twig.
you let out a shaky breath, hand falling onto Joel's chest as you almost wheeze out a relieved laugh. but your hand feels it, suddenly - you notice how stiff Joel is, even after you've both realized there's no threats.
his heart, thundering in his chest wildly. like a caged animal surrounded by a pack of wild, ravenous wolves; Joel's heart tries to scramble right out of his chest and onto the dead ground.
that feeling - the one that creeps around at night when you wake up with memories of that cabin, of those raiders - of your past, visions of Joel, surrounded by red. that feeling that creeps up, squeezing at your throat and banging on your chest.
he's feeling it, too.
it's not from arousal, though you can see enough of that in his eyes, in the way his lips part and ragged breaths puff into the air - no, not arousal.
fear.
your heart hammers similarly, you suddenly notice. your hand shakes as it hovers near your knife; his hands grip the rifle so tight the blood may burst forth from the roughened skin any second.
"hey," you whisper, suddenly worried to speak above any quiet noise. his eyes are sharp and his jaw clenched as he looks back at you, wild and alarmed.
as if he were ready to fight for his life and yours.
"let's go home," you whisper, thumb running over the shoulder of his jacket, muscles strained and still below the layers.
he snaps out of it, eyes falling to rake over you as if assuring that you're still in front of him in one piece. his hand finds yours on his chest, sliding it off - not unkindly; his hand squeezes yours before boosting you up onto the double saddle silently.
Joel insists on walking you back to your house; he's brooding, as normal, as you both trudge back from turning in your patrol log and tracking the mud from the stable through the quiet streets.
you don't speak about what happened in the woods - the kiss, nor the twig snapping, but you ache and as you walk, every brush of the backs of your hands send shooting sparks up your arm.
"damn it," he grunts under his breath as you lead him up your driveway. you lift a brow at him, silent prompt to explain his expletive.
he shakes his head, "s'nothin'. forgot Ellie said the water heater ain't workin', said she was stayin' with her friend Dina till I fix it. cold shower for me tonight."
you grimace; the air nips at your cheeks, you can't imagine a cold shower in this weather. you shrug, "use mine." you suggest, tilting your head. "no point in turning into an icicle, Miller, you're cold enough as is." you tease, sending him a small wink.
something in you wonders if the shower really is broken, or if he just can't bring himself to ask; not that you can blame him. you can't bring yourself to ask, either.
your heart flutters when Joel rolls his eyes but still trudges after you, through the entrance of your home. his eyes look just as tired as you feel but there's a spark to them, one that coaxes more warmth between your thighs.
you see his eyes catch on the partially-smoked joint put out on the ashtray on your kitchen table as you slide past it; you have a mind to grab it before you make your way up the stairs, pretending not to feel too hot when you feel Joel's eyes graze over the sway of your hips.
he showers first, you insist.
while he does so, you strip out of your clothes and into a more comfortable sleeping shirt and shorts. you sit, smoking lazily on the joint, savoring the sharp herbal taste as it flows into your blood and trying to ignore the throbbing desire when the sound of the shower shuts off.
Joel's respectful when he leaves your bathroom, pants on and shirt tugged over his chest, speckled with dots of moisture. his hair is much darker and more curled just after a shower; you're transfixed as you stand in front of him, joint smoldering between your lips, an exhale of smoke swirling lazily from your nostrils.
"may I?" he asks suddenly, causing you to nod, pulling the joint out from your lips and noting how his own dark eyes follow it like a horse to a carrot; you smirk, tutting. "and to think, all this time you've been judging me for it?" you shake your head. "shame on you."
his jaw ticks and you just smirk, shaking your head as you hold the joint up to his lips boldly. "you're a bad influence on me, aren't you, Mr. Miller?" you ask, voice sultry as you peer up at him through your lashes. his eyes flick to yours as he inhales, your fingers ghosting over his plush lips. the ones you kissed not an hour earlier.
the air is thick in your room, steam from the hot water creeping through as Joel inhales the weed, ember lighting up your eyes in his. you leave the joint between his parted lips, opting to strip down as you walk towards the shower, hoping Joel had the mind to watch as you go.
your heart thuds in arousal and excitement when you hear his sharp exhale, still refusing to turn around as you leave the door slightly open once again. you and your innocent habit of leaving the bathroom door open when you shower.
you're relieved there's some fog over the glass door of the shower, but you take your time cleansing your hair, running soap over your face and then slowly, slowly lathering up your skin.
you can feel him watch the entire time.
his eyes are like a hawk's; you can see his shadow through the light of the bathroom, the ember of your joint glowing occasionally as your hands run over the wet planes of your skin.
your shaky fingers cascade down, over the skin of your stomach, lower until they just barely graze where you ache. it's like he's been waiting for you to finally start to touch yourself; just as your fingers find your slit, the amber of the joint is tamped, ashed on the windowsill.
you hum lowly as your fingers swirl through your velvet folds, so wet you're dripping onto your upper thighs as your head thumps against the wall.
"Joel," you let yourself whimper, eyes fluttering shut before opening again languidly.
Joel's footsteps are gentle as he slowly strides up to you; he lasted, admittedly, longer than you through this torturous game. through the glass, you see his tall frame and your legs quiver with desire - your aching cunt throbs as you move your hand over yourself, rinsing off the rest of the suds from your clean body as your fingers tease your bundle of nerves. your hips jolt; a choked moan from you as you slide the glass open slightly, cocking your head - "it's a shame you already showered," you mutter, fingers not ceasing as Joel's eyes rake over your naked for ravenously.
he leans on the doorframe to the bathroom, eyes stern as he takes in your silhouette through the fogged glass, slowly rolling over the curves of your body to meet your eyes with flames alit in his own.
"-it'd be nice to have some help." you shrug, gesturing to the bar of soap in your spare hand, eyes swimming with desire as your other hand continues the slow, torturous movements on your aching clit.
your eyes catch on his crotch; through the jeans, his cock is hard and straining already as if being stirred by just the sight of you, naked and whimpering for him in your shower.
"I know you've always liked a show, though, haven't you?" you tease, lifting a brow as you recall the night Joel'd first seen you shower.
his jaw ticks at your words but it's like something in his snaps; he wastes little time ripping his shirt off, his patience clearly gone as you bite your lip, stepping back for him as his jeans finally slide off.
his glowing, naked form crowds into your own as he slides into the shower with you. his eyes are sharp as his hand takes the soap from you; yet instead of running it over your skin like you'd hoped he would, he's tossing it to the side until it hits the wall of the shower and splinters into two.
you gasp slightly as his hand grips your neck, tugging you close. his cock is hard, tip glistening with beads of precum already as he presses to your lower stomach, his body glued to yours; his nose slides along the plane of your collarbone gently, the shower water pelting rolling off your meshed bodies like some sort of sick baptism.
"you smell clean, darlin'," he mutters against your kin, one hand sliding up to your scalp, threading through your hair. his tongue peeks out to lick a stripe up your throat. "taste clean, too-"
his hand tightens suddenly, tugging your hair until your head snaps up to him - his eyes are dark, face full of desire. "so why're you pretending you need my help?"
the condescension in his voice is intoxicating - your legs weaken, hands sliding up onto his hot skin under the water that cascades over him.
your throat dries as you swallow, eyes wide as a rush of arousal threatens to drip down onto your bare thighs.
his head tilts, "s'because you want to put on a show, 's that it?" he asks, voice condescendingly sweet as he once again tightens his grip. you whimper at the sweet feeling, nodding slightly.
he smiles against your neck before pulling away, "fine. you can give me a show. get on your knees." he hums, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. your head feels dizzy at the words he says and the sweetness of his kiss; the most delicious juxtaposition.
"a show." he chuckles to himself, shaking his head darkly. "gonna make you a goddamn star."
christ. your cunt squeezes around nothing, aching for him as his hands slide down to your shoulders. you nearly moan as he smirks, water cascading down his broad chest as he pushes you down; you sink to your knees, your wide eyes on his own as you move until you're close to his aching cock.
he stands, towering above you as the shower head sprays directly onto his back; water runs off the broad expanse of his chest and you follow the droplets as they smooth over his stomach, down over the sprinkling of hair that trails to the base of his dick. you swallow, heart thundering impatiently as you sit on your haunches, waiting anxiously for him to tell you what to do.
his brows raise, though, flush high on his cheeks from heat - or arousal - as he hums, "well?"
you blink at him in surprise as he shakes his head down at you, his own hand falling to pump his long cock in languid strokes, the skin so close to you that you can almost feel the heat. if you were to lean out, just a bit, to taste-
"christ, darlin' do I gotta tell you how to do everything?" he grunts, other hand cupping the back of your head, carding through your wet strands of hair as he tuts, "you were practically beggin' f'me earlier, now you're suddenly shy?"
your face blooms in heat, "no, sir, I just-" at your words, his eyes fall back and a groan echoes through your bathroom, "-just suck my cock, darlin' c'mon."
his impatience, desperation sends shivers down your spine and your mouth opens eagerly, tongue flattening as he slaps your tongue gently once, twice-
you're always surprised by the size of Joel - each time, it catches you off guard; the head of his cock breaches your lips and his pre-cum smears over your tongue; the taste of him has you keening forward, eager to feel him in you, filling you up.
"there you go, 's much better." he grunts, muttering as one hand slides around to hold your jaw. your eyes flutter up through your lashes and the falling shower water to stare at him, how big he is towering above you. his cock pushes into your warm mouth and you try your best to breathe through your nose, tongue sliding up the vein which reaches up towards his tip. his groan spurs you on and you gently start to bob your head, spit gathering at the sides of your mouth slowly as your knees press against the wet porcelain.
"you feel better like this, baby?" he mutters, your stomach tingling at his words. you can't nod - can't even make a noise as his hips slowly buck into you; you gag slightly and moan around his cock as it pushes to the back of your throat.
"fuck-" he grunts, one hand leaning forward to place against the wet shower tiles; he's crowding you, now, pressing you into the back of the shower as his body takes the brunt of the water and takes and takes from you.
anything Joel wants, he can fucking have it.
"that's it, sweetheart-" he grunts, "fuckin'- take me."
his hands grip yours, pulling them onto his thighs, muttering gently that if it's too much, you can slap his thigh; you nod, tears gathering at the corner of your eyes as you keen towards him again, hungry to feel him in your throat again.
your nails dig crescents into the meat of his thighs as he pushes your head right against the wall, fucking into your throat as his head tilts back. "tha's- right, look at you." he grunts, his lips parted as groans fall from his lip. the steam rises like tendrils from hell as you take Joel's length in your mouth, barely able to breathe in the most delicious way as he uses you. your spit trails over your chin and onto your bare chest as you stare up at him. one hand soothes over your forehead, wiping wet strands of hair plastered to your forehead, "you're a fuckin' star, baby."
you heat at his words, stomach swirling as you shift uncomfortably, cunt puffy and aching for relief.
your fingers grip onto him as he takes you in the shower, fucking your throat until you're dripping and aching and a writhing mess, his moans echoing around the empty home.
"water's cold." he grunts, pulling his cock from your lips; you, weakly, chase the heat of him as he leaves your mouth, gasping for air and coughing slightly.
he shuts off the water, suddenly, and you swallow as he turns back to you, eyes significantly softer than they'd just been; "somethin' wrong?" he teases, a dark smirk on his face as his eyes flicker to where your thighs press together to soothe the ache.
you grit your teeth, shaking your head, "jus' want you to touch me, sir." you mutter, face burning at the way Joel never ceases to reduce you to a whimpering mess.
he smiles one of those brilliant, radiant smiles.
"that's all you had to say, darlin'." he shrugs, "told you, if you just learn to ask for it nicely, I'll give it to you."
you shiver as you nod, taking his hand as he pulls you up off your sore knees, wrapping a towel around your form gently. he's so- commanding, yet still somehow keeping his kindness that often hides deep beneath his layers.
you can't tear your eyes away, though - even as Joel starts to walk towards your open bedroom - your hand stops him on his naked shoulder. "will you please fuck me?" you ask, voice stronger than you'd expected it to be.
his eyes flicker with something as he tilts his head, "right here?" he lifts a brow as his hand snaked over your neck to pull you flush against him once again. "y'gonna beg me to fuck you against the sink because you're too desperate for my cock to walk to the bed?" he whispers it into the shell of your ear; a shiver as you whine, eyes blinking up at him, "been waiting all day, Joel, stop fucking teasing me."
you notice your mistake too late; his jaw tenses as he bites down at the junction of your neck - you let out a sharp, whining moan as his teeth mark a love bite bright and center on your skin. "fuck- fuck, s-sorry, sir." you groan, eyes clenching shut in pleasure as his hands push you into the counter.
"bet you're fuckin' sorry." he mutters lowly as he pulls away from you, flipping you quick to bend you over the vanity of the sink. you gasp as the cool wet porcelain hits your breasts, your nipples hard and sensitive as a sharp smack lands on your ass.
"christ," he groans as you bend over, puffy lips soaked and glistening for him, "look at this pretty pussy."
you move your hips slightly and his hands grip onto your waist - "quit that." he snaps, hands resuming their exploring. he grazes over the backs of your thighs, up the expanse of your spine.
over your ass, groping and slapping, relishing in your small moans and sharp gasps. "don't move." he orders.
you sigh, head falling onto the sink as you nearly whimper - you're aching, throbbing as Joel teases you - "Joel," you whimper quietly, voice whiny and small.
"what's wrong, y'tired of being teased?" he asks, voice dripping with sadistic pleasure. your cheeks are hot as you groan, "please, need to feel you inside of me-"
he hums, smacking the flesh of your ass, "'f I don't warm you up you'll be sore, baby-" he tuts, "y'know I gotta get you ready."
"I don't care, I can take it- I like it, just-" you stutter, face heated as you nearly scream in frustration, unable to voice how badly you just want him inside of you.
he likes that - a thumb sliding over your cunt to spread your lips, exposing your pussy and ass to him as he hums. "too fuckin' eager, have to have my cock right now, 's that right?" he shakes his head with a dark smirk, hand teasing over your swollen lips as he nods, "yeah, s'alright, I'll give it to you whenever you ask."
"thank you," you wheeze, letting out a shaky sigh when Joel leans down, spitting directly onto your asshole, thumb sliding over the tight ring as he hums, "so desperate for me, couldn't even wait 'till we get back to town, could you? had to try an' fuck me right there in the woods." he doesn't wait for you to respond as he spits down again, this time the slick spit sliding down onto your seeping cunt. his hand leaves, replacing with the thick, teasing head of his cock.
you gasp, rising on your toes as the blunt tip of his dick spreads your cunt, teasing your clit before notching at your entrance. "gonna fill up every hole tonight, baby, y'gonna let me?"
you let out a whine, "fuck, yes, please." you nod, cunt fluttering around the tip of his cock.
the stretch is painful; you expected it, craved it - you let out an animalistic moan when he slides in a few inches. "oh-" you whimper, legs tensing as Joel kneads the flesh of your ass, pressing his bare chest to your spine as he mouths along the base of your neck, "relax, baby, so fuckin' tight-" he groans as he slides in slowly, "let me in, sweetheart, c'mon-"
a rush of arousal and he's fully seated within you, the sting of his cock in you subsiding as a growing desire mounts until you can't take it. "move- m-move, now, please." you rush, hips pushing back against Joel's impatiently.
"shit," Joel hisses as he pulls out of you slightly - a long, thick drag against your velvety cunt and you groan at the sweet bliss of being filled up. you moan as he thrusts forward, tip hitting the perfect spot that already, as his pace builds, has a simmering coil deep within you.
"thought- thought about it all day," you admit, hands finding purchase on the counter as he starts to fuck into you, your tits sliding as they press against the sink. "on the horse, thought abo-" you moan sharply as his thumb grazes over your asshole, spreading the slick and his spit around the tight ring. "fuck, sir- that feels good." you moan. he groans in response and the words fly from your lips - "you drive me crazy, so big, t-touching me all the time. dream about you filling me up- s-stuffing me full, even out in the woods-"
your words are too much for Joel, apparently, because his hand slaps over your mouth and his voice whispers, "sh-shut the fuck up, darlin', y'needa be quiet or I'm gonna finish before this even starts." he grunts, hips snapping into yours as he picks up the pace.
you whimper at his words, arousal gushing from you and coating his cock in your slick; the wet slapping of your bodies echoing through the bathroom. "fuck-" he drags out the word, fingers sliding over your lips to prod at your mouth, "here- suck, darlin' - there you go, good girl, that's right."
your tongue slides over his fingers, eyes fluttering closed as you feel his thumb breach your tight hole; a sudden rush of pleasure runs through you as it hits you - Joel's everywhere. he's filling you completely - his thumb slowly fucks your tight ring of muscle as his cock spears your cunt; his fingers, pressing down on your tongue as you whimper and moan around him.
a groan leaves his full lips; "fuck- look at me." he grunts, hand sliding up your throat to pull your jaw towards your reflection. "look at me, baby-" his fingers slide back into your mouth as your eyes meet the fire in his through the mirror.
"always tell me when you feel like this, 'kay?" he asks, brows stern as he rams his hips into you; his thumb fills you and fucks into you at a slower speed than his cock, sending searing pleasure through your entire body.
your flesh moves at the impact of his hips and you cry out as his cock hits the delicious spot inside you that curls your toes. his thumb slips from your ass and you whimper dejectedly; the full feeling subsiding slightly as his hand grips your tits, pinching your nipple as he hums in your ear. "don't want my pretty little slut feeling so needy all the time, right?" he mutters, nosing at your hair as he fucks into you with no abandon. your fingers clench to the sides of the sink as you let out a strangled, "yes, sir-"
"so if you use your words, I'll give you anything you want." he groans, hand smacking your ass as the other squeezes your jaw. you nod, agreeing with his words though his cock has rendered you nearly speechless. he hums in approval before muttering, "now you're goign to play with your clit until you cum."
you let your eyes roll back at the commanding tone as your hand snakes down to rub tight, blisteringly pleasurable circles over your bundle of nerves.
but it's immediately too much so soon; you're already so close to your orgasm that a jagged gasp falls from your lips, jumping at the feeling.
"no, 's too much," you moan, head falling back as your finger teases your clit, flames of pleasure licking up isnide you.
but Joel smirks, "why're you still doin' it, then?" he teases, cock hitting so deep and bruising that you think you may see stars.
you moan out, "w-wanna cum, wanna make you happy, Joel." you whimper, completely forgetting to call him sir; but you feel his brows furrow as a moan ripples from his lips - "y'makin' me real happy right now, darlin', look at you. fucked out on this old man's cock, doin' whatever I say, desperate and willing. you're perfect, aren't you?"
you shiver in pleasure at his praise, fingers shaking as you rub your clit, trying so hard not to ruin your orgasm by cumming too soon. his cock spears into you at a pace that will certainly bruise your hips; your breath is punched out of you, your gasps and moans painting the air.
"say it, baby." he orders, hand stroking your breast a staunch contradiction to his brutal pace. "tell me how perfect you are for me."
you wail, head falling back onto his broad, thick shoulder as he runs his mouth over your shoulder, nipping as he goes. you're out of breath - "p-perfect, I'm perfect for you Joel, fuck, don't stop. so good, so good-" you mumble, fucked out after only a few minutes.
he hums, nodding into you. "taught you well, didn't I? you're my perfect little star."
you nod, "yes, sir, thank you-" you squeal in pleasure as he strokes long and slow, pushing you nearly to the brink as your legs shake. you can't take it, though - your fingers stop their ministrations, shaking and burning as you pull away from your clit, so close from just his cock and-
a slap to your cheek as Joel's lips bite into your jaw, "put your fuckin' hand back right now. you don't stop 'till I tell you to."
you swallow shakily, shaking your head, "I can't- it's too much, I can't-"
"fine." he snaps, slapping your cheek again before one hand slips to grip hard at your shoulder, lifting one of your legs up onto the sink; his other hand snakes down to pinch your tortured clit and you scream as he grunts in your ear, "I'll do it myself."
he's unforgiving on your quivering cunt, barely able to stay upright as he pushes you down, your cheeks pressing to the cool counter as he pounds down into you, shooting you into a hurtling race towards your orgasm.
he brutally fucks into you in a blinding pace. you nearly scream as white-hot pleasure rips through you, your hands falling to the counter as he coaxes a mind-bending orgasm from you. you see white as you cum, pulsing and writhing over his cock as it spears into you, splitting you open.
"that's it, baby-" he lets out a loud moan, biting into your neck as he continues the brutal pace, "jesus- s'fucking tight, baby, can barely move-" his hands fall to your hips, using you as a fuck toy to finish himself off; you're still writhing with the ecstasy of the orgasm, relishing in the way his hands hold you.
"where're you gonna take me, baby?" he grunts, voice strained: he's so close.
you scramble, holding his hips as you nearly pass out - pleasure too much. "cum on my ass, please sir." you mutter, heat licking up your throat as the words come out.
he moans and pulls out of you suddenly, hand flying from your skin to his cock, a slick noise as he quickly tugs himself until hot spurts of his cum paint the skin of your ass. "pretty girl," he grunts to himself, "an' you're all mine."
you hum, moaning quietly as his thumb soothes over your skin, spreading his cum over your ass and pressing it slightly against your ass. your cunt flutters in arousal at the action and he hums, "y'like that, don't you, pretty girl?"
you nod as you let out a shaky sigh and he presses a kiss to your spine, "good." it's a whisper on your skin, a promise.
he's barely grabbed a towel to wipe his cum off your skin before you're turned around on jelly legs - his strong arms pull you in so fast you barely have a second to straighten out - he's nuzzling into your wet hair in a way that has your heart thumping and your throat dry.
his heart beats against your cheek, body warm, chest heaving along with yours.
heat, affection - they swirl in your chest as his bare body cradles yours. intimately.
your sweet skin is sticky with sweat when Joel comes to, out of the bliss of his and your orgasms.
he's just as sweaty as you, though the clean skin and foggy mirror have started to clear up. Joel nearly huffs a short laugh at the thought of taking yet another shower - christ knows the two of you are once again filthy - but he kind of likes it, in a way. a secret.
he brushes it off when he feels your fingers curl around his arm; he had barely noticed that he'd tugged you upright and right into his chest, holding you as tight as he could. for some reason, his mind reaches back to earlier in the evening, when he'd heard that branch - the fear, the panic that'd risen in him. he's not sure why, or at least, he won't think about it. you hadn't mentioned it, but he'd seen your hands shake and your eyes cloud with fear.
something for another time, because he has you warm and pliant and naked in his arms. he barely noticed how his lips press at your hairline; it's just... well, feels natural.
like you both need it.
"stay here, please." you ask meekly, quietly. the first words spoken in a minute; you're swallowing around the nerves and anxiety that crawl in your chest, he can tell. he feels them, too.
he's taken aback as he stares at you - you both have patrol again in the morning, is it not... aren't you going to get tired of him?
won't you find him annoying, or gross in the morning when he inevitably pulls you closer in his sleep, when the dreams are too real and he shoots up in bed?
the panic subsides as he stares into your warm eyes, hopeful, bashful. he smiles gently, biting through the smile in embarrassment at how willing he is to stay. he'd stay forever if you asked.
Joel nods through his surprise, though, his body and heart and head aching to lie with you once again, to feel the calmest sleep he's had in years.
"course, darlin', I'll..." he pulls you in closer, so he doesn't have to look at those damn eyes when he finally admits it -
"I'll stay as long as you want."
feedback welcome as always :') <3
#let's chat abt mr miller#joel tlou smut#joel miller x reader smut#joel miller x you#joel miller the last of us#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel smut#joel x reader#joel tlou#the last of us x reader#the last of us (tv)#the last of us smut#pedro pascal smut
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idk how hard it is for people to understand that the person you were 8-10 years ago is rarely ever the person you are now. i’m not even the same person i was 3 years ago.
i’m not gonna sit here and claim to be perfect. i’ve made plenty of mistakes, done and said shitty things, let my bad days get the better of me, etc etc. doesn’t help being autistic with a slew of other mental issues; not using that as an excuse or anything but it has definitely hindered my judgement at times and my maturity levels as i’ve aged. it took me awhile before i started to feel like i was an actual adult person and before i even realized just how riddled with issues i am - i’m working on it!
i will say that i am sorry for the things i’ve done in the past. i’m not proud of them. i’m not proud of the way i’ve acted or things i’ve said many moons ago. every single day i try to be the best version of myself i can be. i hope those strangers that harp on my past who don’t even know the real me will one day understand that i’m not that person anymore. i wish them nothing but the best and i hope they can find peace within themselves. i’m trying to find mine too.
sorry for the random ramble, i’ve been doing a lot of internal thinking and felt like i had to say something. back to your regularly scheduled silence and occasional art posts from me :,)
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The Same
Pairing: Daniel Matthews x Fem!reader
summary: Daniel meets someone in the same boat as him at a "Jigsaw victim therapy group" session. fic type - hurt/comfort, post Saw 2, fluff?? warning - 2000s emo x 2000s emo, canon level Saw violence, both reader and Daniel have PTSD, mentions of past drug use, mentions of body scarring from the traps, self harm (??) word count - 1,779 a/n: hiiii! sorry my posting has been kinda off and on for the past few months, but I'm hoping now that school and my personal schedule is a little more chill, I'll be able to write and post more often. <3 (also, what's up with the lack of Daniel fics?)
Group therapy wasn't Daniel's idea. He knew he needed to talk about the things he had gone through and seen, which is why he had originally gone to one-on-one therapy, but when his therapist had suggested joining Bobby Dagen's group he had been very apprehensive. At first, Daniel had been very against the idea. He found Bobby very pretentious and overzealous, and the entire "Jigsaw victim therapy group" to be a scam for Bobby's fan's entertainment. For months his therapist and his mother brought up the group again and again, leading to Daniel finally deciding to go in the hopes of getting them to shut up about it.
Now, Daniel found himself in the room Bobby would rent out for each session. They were all sitting side by side in the formation of a circle, letting each person have a clear view of everyone else. Not one person in the room, other than bobby, looked elated to be there.
Daniel sat in his folded out seat, arms crossed and head turned downward. So far, the entire experience had been uncomfortable. Bobby had gone on one of his regularly scheduled "We should be grateful!" spiels, and multiple people had shared their sob-stories. For 30 minuets Daniel had to endure the same arguments and conversations over and over. He sat in silence, never once making himself known - choosing to sit and pick at his black, long-sleeved undershirt the entire time.
Daniel had been so focused on his own thoughts that when he finally glanced back up, he noticed all the eyes on him. "Daniel?" Bobby called out.
"Hmm?" his reply was short and uninterested.
"I asked if you would like to share your story with the others. Would you?" Bobby asked. The smile he gave Daniel as he spoke made him divert his eyes. Daniel shrugged, not knowing if he truly wanted to. "If you'd like to wait that's okay. Whenever you're ready, Daniel."
The other's diverted their attention to Luba afterwards, taking in her story. Daniel silently listened, just waiting for the session to be over. They continued this way, story after story, until the door swung open, creating a loud noise. In it's opening was a girl, presumably around Daniel's age from what he could see.
"Ah, (Y/N), nice of you to finally join us." Bobby sarcastically spoke.
The teen stepped into the room, waving at a man in the corner that Daniel hadn't noticed before, and continued towards the circle. The silver chain hanging from her belt loops lightly rattled against her black cargo-jeans as she walked his way. "Oh shut up, Bobby. Some of us have lives outside the whole Jigsaw shit." she scoffed, her eyeliner covered eyes glaring at the older man. The girl, (Y/N) as Daniel her Bobby call her, took a open seat a few chairs down from Daniel, giving him a tight-lipped smile and a wave of her ringed hand before turning towards the others.
"Now, now, (Y/N). There's no need for hostility here - we're all the same." Bobby cheerfully stated, causing the girl to roll her eyes. "Here, since you missed when everyone else did it, why don't you introduce yourself to out newest member. This is Daniel." his arm directed (Y/N)'s eyes to her fellow teen.
(Y/N)'s dark-red lips turned up into a forced smile before she spoke. "Hi, I'm (Y/N). I'm the girl who was found a week after a trap that wasn't even hers, half dead and tied to the mutilated corpse of her sister. Nice to meet you!" The smile dropped immediately after she finished her sentence.
"Sorry Daniel. Just ignore her. She's still a little apprehensive to be doing this." Daniel awkwardly nodded at Bobby's explanation. "Good, now why don't we continue..." Daniel couldn't focus on Bobby as he spoke - his attention was solely caught on (Y/N)'s appearance. On top of the jeans and chain, she also had a shirt similar to what he would usually wear. It was red and white, and he could tell it was showing some kind of band-logo, but he couldn't get a clear enough look to tell what band. Glancing down at his own white t-shirt, he caught similarities between the two, finally realizing who it was. "Wrath of the Gods." he whispered.
(Y/N)'s head lightly turned her head, seemingly asking him to repeat himself.
"Your shirt. It's 'Wrath of the Gods' - like mine." he lightly smiled. "You like them?"
She glances down, taking in her own shirt and then his. "Huh... Yeah, my sister, she uh, introduced me to their music a few years ago. This was her shirt actually; she gave me it when she got a new one before the trap."
"Sounds like she was pretty cool." Daniel muttered. By this point, (Y/N) had moved over a seat so they could talk without bothering any of the others.
She smiled before whispering back, "She was."
Now that she was closer, Daniel could see the scarring on her face, neck, arms, and hands. He couldn't help but wonder what she fully went through if that was the result of her trap. It also made him wonder if the same scarring would cascade down her legs and torso too. Did the scarring all look the same; how many were there; were some more gory than others? Hundreds of questions flew through his mind as he looked at her.
"How'd you get them?" Daniel didn't even register the fact that he had spoken.
"Huh?" (Y/N) whispered.
"Sorry, uh, your scars. If you don't mind me asking, how'd you get them? I mean, you don't have to tell me. Y'know, I don't want to cross any boundar-" Daniel's rant was cut off by (Y/N).
"It's fine, Daniel." she sighed, giving him a sad smile. "I got these during my sister's 'game'"
"Your sister's game?" Daniel asked, hoping she would clarify.
(Y/N) looked over at the others, making sure no one was bothered by their conversation, before continuing. "Yeah. My sister was the one being tested. It was my fault, but she was the one who got the consequences." she paused, taking a moment to fully think about how to explain her experience. "My parents died when I was little, and my sister had turned 18 a few weeks before they did. After that, she took me in; became my legal guardian, y'know. She was a nurse too, so a lot of the time I was either by myself or out with friends. When my friend Amy finally got her learners, we went out one evening and ended up in an accident. That led to me being on a shit-ton of pain meds, and eventually I got hooked. It was really bad. Jane, my sister, had access to a lot of pain medication, and I used that against her. I begged for weeks for her to steal me them. She, uh... She eventually couldn't take seeing me so bad, so she broke a lot of rules and brought me some. I guess Jigsaw found out, and he thought I was pulling her down. When he took us, his whole argument in the tape was that I was bad for her, and if she got rid of her baggage - me - then she'd be free and would go places in life. If she didn't get rid of me, she'd die." Once again, (Y/N) paused, collecting herself. "He had us tied together to this weird chair set up. It was on these rails, and in front of either of us were these things I could only describe as 'the open-faced turkey sandwich version of a woodchipper'. She was supposed to kill me - push me into mine. I begged and pleaded for her to just do it, cause, I mean, he was right. I was the only bad thing in her life. She would've been better off without me."
"If she died, and didn't want to hurt you, then how did you end up with all the scars?" Daniel quietly asked.
"I did it to myself." Daniel's eyes widened at how casually she said it. "She wouldn't push back and put me into the woodchipper, so I did it myself. I put my feet on the edges of the rails and pushed myself forwards into it. I got close enough to cut myself up a bit. I thought I was gonna save her." (Y/N)'s eyes began to water, and she quickly wiped it away. "Jane was always stronger than me, though. She pulled back and kept us at the midpoint. We were there when the timer went off. I guess it was motorized, cause when the timer went off, we moved backwards. Jane went straight into it. There was nothing I could do but sit there and listen to her screams. Jigsaw and his little groupies never came for me. I was supposed to die, so they left me there. For about a week I was strapped to the trap and what was left of my sister, out of it from blood loss, hunger, and dehydration. Some homeless guy eventually found everything and called the police."
"Wow..." Daniel muttered.
"Yeah, I know." (Y/N) hesitantly chuckled. "Since then I've been doing two sessions of regular therapy a week, this, and rehab."
As she finished her sentence, Bobby loudly spoke up. "Alright guys, today was great! It is time we wrap up though. I hope to see everyone again next week, and I hope you have a great rest of your week." The two teens watched as he walked back to the doorway of the room, stopping next to his wife, lawyer, bestfriend, and publicist.
"Well, I guess that's enough trauma dumping for today." (Y/N) glanced back over at Daniel. "Listen, uh, y'know, 'Wrath of the Gods' has a show this weekend. You should come, so we could hang out some more. To be honest, I need more friends who listen to music I like." she laughed.
Daniel grinned, "Yeah, why not?"
"Good, good." (Y/N) mumbled. "Listen, I gotta go, my foster dad picks me up from these things, but I'll see you this weekend."
"Yeah, yeah, see you later." he smiled. Daniel contently watched as she got up, and headed for the door.
As she got closer to the door, (Y/N) turned back around and waved at him. "Bye, Danny."
(Y/N) turned back around and exited, leaving Daniel to sit in the room alone, thinking over what had just happened. "Holy shit." he dramatically exhaled. Maybe coming to the "Jigsaw victim therapy group" wasn't that bad of an idea.
#reader insert#sawposting#saw franchise#saw movies#saw movies x reader#saw x reader#saw#daniel matthews#bobby dagen#daniel matthews x reader#erik knudsen#saw 2#saw 3d#emo boy#2000s horror#daniel saw 2#daniel saw 2 x reader#saw 2005#fuck bobby dagen#i love emo boys
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