#notice anon
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Hey. Bear with me here i’m bad at this.
I’ve got a crush on this guy, i’m bi but mostly i’ve been interested in women, it’s easier, but recently a friend of mine has been, catching my eye.
For a while to be honest.
But despite my practise with women i’m terrible at asking people out. I’m not even going to think of what my friends will say. My friends can be weird when it comes to me being interested in guys.
The guy I like is autistic. And I cannot tell if the way he’s acting is because of his autism or cause he has feelings for me. I’ve seen lots of videos of autistic people being upset that neurotypicals take their actions as flirting, and I don’t want to be ignorant.
We have a different relationship than everyone else, closer in a way. Cause it’s GAY to be friendly with your friends 🙄… except in this case it is but. whatever.
He does things, that can be interrupted as flirting. I think. He’s said before that he feels bad for not knowing what to say when i’m having a bad day, when i’m so good at helping him. And i’ve told him that him just being there helps.
But recently he started doing this really cool drawings for me. I love rhinos and he’ll draw me riding rhinos through forests and stuff, to cheer me up. They’re cool. I’ve saved all the drawings.
But idk, that’s not really flirting, it’s him finding a way to cheer me up cause he cares.
And he learns about stuff I like, i’ll mention something with physics and the next day he’ll know more than me about it. But idk if he just does that with me cause he knows I find it cool, and don’t get mad like some of the others have.
Idk, i’m pretty good at reading people usually. But not like this. And I know I should ask him but I don’t want to risk it.
The thing is, he’s not the type to ask me. He’s not the honest type in that regard, he thinks he is, cause he thinks how he’s feeling is obvious to the people around him. He was once mad at our friend for a month and the guy didn’t notice. I noticed but that’s cause i notice him, I know him, and I know when he’s mad.
But I don’t know anymore, lately I think he’s being trying to hint that he likes me but I can’t tell.
Okay so...from what you've said, and being neurodivergent myself, I'm going to say that you might have to be a little bit more obvious about your feelings. I know that's scary to think about but like...when I was younger, there was this guy who I had a major crush on who flirted with me for years and I never noticed because yeah and looking back I always think about how I wish he'd just said something. (I mean, I'm happily married now but it would have been cool to have dated him, not to just been single for all of high school.)
I mean, first I would ask if he's interested in your gender. After you figure that out (if he is), then I would just be very honest. Say you have feelings, and you'd like to go on a date, but if he doesn't feel the same way you genuinely don't want it to be awkward and you care about your friendship. it sounds like he at least really cares as a friend, and I would hope he would be able to put that friendship first. if he can't, that's kind of a red flag anyway, isn't it?
naming you notice anon!
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pls pls heard me out...FIDDLESTAN! <3
ok, i got this ask ten days ago, and I've been thinking about it ever since. Because I got two other asks asking for fiddauthor, and I dON'T KNOW HOW TO LET THEM DOWN LIGHTLY BECAUSE I'M A FIDDLESTAN BITCH THROUGH AND THROUGH 😭😭😭😭 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!
Don't get me wrong, fiddauthor is great and makes sense and everything. But listen. Billford and fiddauthor are multidimensional ships, they are good! But FIDDLESTAN!?!? that shit is the WHAT-THE-HECK-A-HEDRON!!!!!!! Even though it's literally 100% speculation, the implications are FUCKING CRAZY!!!!!!!!! I jumped between three ships so far during this gravity falls thing, each time thinking one is better than the other. I've decided that FIDDLESTAN IS KING!!!!!! I'm sorry. I could rant about them forever. I've been listening to nothing but extended versions of disco music for the past week. (YES THEY HAD A CRAZY ROMANTIC FLING IN VEGAS NO I WILL NOT ELABORATE!!!! (yes i will. I will elaborate at some point. it will be like ten pages or text. or I will draw it. idk.))
Here is a sketchbook doodle from like a week ago. I'm gonna post another fiddlestan thing in a few moments, but my style changes like I'm a completely different artist every week without warning, so I'm gonna leave this by itself!
He comes into YOUR house, he steals YOUR identity, and he fucks YOUR research partner!!! Fuck you!!!!!!!!!!
#i've noticed lately#after we've opened our eyes to some of fords assholeyness#some people are like 'hold on guys i think were being a little too hard on ford 🥺'#NO WE ARE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!#I hail from the iz fandom where everyone knows dib is fucking awful#and we LOVE him for it!!!!#will NOT shy away from admitting how terrible he is - it's why we love him!!!!!#ok enough rant#me typing on tumblr about this shit is like opening pandoras box#gonna close that up now for everyones safety#fiddlestan#gravity falls#stan x fiddleford#gravity falls fanart#ask#answered#anon#sketchbook
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Communities are a new way to connect with the people on Tumblr who care about the things you care about! Browse Communities to find the perfect one for your interests or create a new one and invite your friends and mutuals!
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Twh corset apologism is insane. Every medical professional with knowledge to day says wearing a back support all day every day is BAD for you!!!!!! "Less supportive" corsets were better for people and also it's funny how corsets are apparently the savior of big titty women to you but comfortable flexible corset that holds your tits in shouldn't be worm because if regressive? fuck off
I literally had to read this like three times to understand what you were saying and I'm still not fully sure I do
first of all, most doctors say that wearing back braces does not cause muscle atrophy. they're pretty quick to reassure people of that online, in a way that makes it kind of hilarious that they believe it of corsets that support the same muscles as aforesaid braces. here is a study on the matter, and a search for "do back braces cause muscle atrophy" will turn up a lot more info for you
secondly, I don't know what you're talking about re: "comfortable flexible corset that holds your tits in." are you referring to bras? if so, there's certainly nothing inherently wrong with them; the support from the shoulders can be less comfortable for some people than the support from over/underneath that a corset provides, but I've never said one is unilaterally better than the other for everyone
are you talking about 1920s corsets or corset/binder combos? because if so...yeah that's not "comfortable;" it's Spanx + a binder. It was designed to flatten, not merely support, and it was basically an elastic band squishing your torso. I'm sure that wasn't a universal torture device either- women got things done in it, clearly -but it's hardly the ideal support option
or you could be talking about something else entirely. it's really hard to say
anyway. corsets were not unilaterally awful. the medical "evidence" against them is over a century old across the board, often guesswork at best and misrepresentation of preserved specimens at worst, from doctors who had no access to modern diagnostic tools and also thought vigorous exercise could cause uterine prolapse. reliable primary sources suggest that most women did not wear them in a way that caused physical injury or significant discomfort, on a daily basis. of course not all women found even moderately-laced corsets comfortable, and it would be naïve to suggest that tightlacing never happened. but those are not the claims I'm making here
if that's "corset apologism," then I'm a horrible, brainwashed corset apologist, babey
#ask#anon#as someone who has done everyday corset-wearing pretty often#the biggest thing I've noticed is that you're a bit more likely to burp#that's pretty much the only physical impact beyond the feeling of having it on you#also harder to bend at the waist while you're wearing it but you can just kneel down or bend at the hips#problem solved#fashion history#clothing history#corsets
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shep...
Shep.
SHEP.
DON'T THINK I DON'T SEE ETHO TRYING (unconsciously?) TO INTERFACE/SYNC UP WITH BDUBS. SHEPPPPPPPPPPP RAHHHHHHHHHHHH *feral animal noises ensue*
CAUGHT IN 4K!!!!
#dbhc ask#ask#anon#dbhc bdubs#ethubs#dbhc etho#dbhc art#dbhc sillies#ethoslab#bdubs#bdoubleo100#dbhc ethubs#art escapades#THEY MAKE ME FEEL THINGS#IM GLAD YOU NOTICED HEHEHE#dbhc
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all i can think about is bucky literally BEGGING to eat your pussy. just on his knees, calling himself a needy slut, just looking up at you with puppy dog eyes while he just begs for your pussy on his mouth. ugh.
Men who are this into eating pussy have a special place reserved for them in Heaven. Hearing someone beg to go down on you is life changing when they know what they're doing 🙈
But you're so right, Bucky would be so willing to degrade himself like that just to be allowed to go down on you. He'd be on his knees, trying to ignore how full his balls feel, begging for you.
"P-please." His voice is so quiet you almost start to question if he said it intentionally. "I need to taste you. I can't think about anything else."
His cock twitches despite how heavy it looks, flushed and angry against the pale skin of his thighs.
"Really?" You tease, tilting his chin up with two fingers so he's looking at your face, rather than your body. "Tell me exactly what you're thinking. Describe it to me"
He doesn't miss a beat. "I'm thinking about how soft you are, how warm and silky your cunt feels under my tongue. I'm thinking about burying my tongue as deep inside you as I can reach and still wishing I could get deeper. I want to feel how wet you are but more than anything, I want to taste how wet you are. I want to dream about it for the rest of the week. Every time I stroke my cock I want to be able to remember how you taste."
Precum drips from his tip and you're not sure you can deny him much longer. Not when he's making it sound so appealing.
"Do you even hear yourself?" You do your very best to act like you don't love the sound of every word that has just come out of his mouth.
"I do. I sound like a shameless, filthy, desperate slut. The type of slut who wants to kiss and lick and worship your sweet pussy until you're so sensitive you have to force me to stop." His hand wanders between his own legs, tugging his stiff length to the mere thought.
He's not above begging and you know that. He'll draw this out as long as he needs to until he gets his way but there's very little sense in that when you want this just as much as he does.
"Lie on the bed." You give him time to make his way over before following, lining yourself up just above his face.
You take a second to smooth his hair, enjoying the feeling of his freshly shaved face against the sensitive insides of your thighs.
He's looking up at you, your eyes meeting his. "Thank you." The relief in his voice is clear right before he grasps your hips and pulls you down onto his mouth.
Fuck, he's incredible. This is the mouth you dream about when you're alone. His tongue massages your clit, stroking back and forth before dipping into your fluttering entrance. You swear he must feel what he's doing to you. You feel your cunt clenching and rippling, your muscles contracting in response to the pleasure and for a second you wonder if he can tell.
He's hungry for this; he has been for hours. He's moaning and slurping obscenely, his tongue buried in your cunt. You don't even need to look over your shoulder to know that he's alternating between fucking his own fist and gripping the base of his shaft tight enough to stop him from spilling his release all over himself too soon.
It's very hard to tell which of you enjoys this more.
#asks answered <3#becca writes spice#anon#needy!bucky#bucky barnes x reader smut#sub!bucky#bucky barnes smut#subby!bucky#this should technically belong to the shs series#but it fit this prompt too well so I'm using it here#I make the rules 😇#but that 'thank you' nearly killed me#I've noticed this week that my beige flag is that I get so frustrated when people make assumptions about my capacity#I hate when people say stuff like 'how's the new job? you must be really stressed'#or worse 'things must be getting on top of you'#like ???#why would you assume I can't handle what I put on my own plate?#I know people mean well but it really bothers me
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SG-1 4x5 Divide and Conquer vs. Stargate: Continuum
for anon <3
#samantha carter#jack o'neill#stargate sg1#stargateedit#sg1edit#stargatesource#samantha carter x jack o'neill#jack o'neill x samantha carter#asilegifs#scifiedit#scifisource#i'm so proud of these??? i think they look so good???#also anon you made me rewatch those scenes AND HOW DARE YOU#i got so emotional#the tiny expressions that i didn't notice before are driving me WILD
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#perfect 10 liners#perfect 10 liners the series#perfect 10 liners series#p10l#arcarm#arc x arm#arm x arc#arc anol#arm anon#force jiratchapong#book kasidet#forcebook#gifs#gifset#this will haunt me for years#will be thinking about this until further notice#I'M NOT GWAENCHANA#na creates#for arcarm
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POSSESSES YOU
[Day 123]
Uh I got possessed what happened
#dddaily4sherin#scarian#trafficshipping#secret life spoilers#is.asks#isdoodles#shout out to the anon that kinda sacrificed their soul for this too o7#ALSO EDIT i will reply to the other asks soon too when im. done with my test or during commute aklsdjaAKD A BUNCH OF U GUYS PILED UP HELPPP#forgot to provide kinda context: so uh an anon sacrificed their soul asking for gay ppl#then I said gay ppl will be drawn when demons possess me#then I got possessed thumbs up SADJASODIajd#WHY DIDNT THE READMORE LINE WORK GODDAMMIT ITS BEEN 15 MINS I JUST NOTICED ACK
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Hi, so i’m a lurker but I kinda decided to stop lurking and personally want to request if you can maybe write a headcanon of the Destined one or Sun Wukong when reader would occassionally glances at them but its only because Reader have a crush on them and is trying to play it off that they dont have a crush
Also love your writing-
Here you go!! One for each :) just because I feel like they’d be a bit different. (Also you’re so kind for saying you like my stuff 🫶🫶🫶)
You’ve got a crush but aren’t trying to be sussed out yet? Oh boy. Poor you. He’s noticed. 100% noticed you looking at him and the little awkward thing you do when you look away quickly.
Destined One:
- [ ] Does NOT know what you’re staring at him for.
- [ ] Absolute idiot when it comes to romance, he’s been too focused on his journey to care about that kind of stuff.
- [ ] Completely lost. Starts to wonder if maybe there’s something stuck in his fur or maybe you think he stinks or something, he doesnt know.
- [ ] It’s giving him a complex because WHY does he catch you eyeing him so much? (And why does it get under his skin?)
- [ ] Do you want to fight him? Is he doing something strange?
- [ ] Starts watching you closer than he already was, probably squints/frowns deeper when he catches your eyes lingering on him before you quickly turn away. His tail will start to twitch with annoyance because WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT AND WHY WONT YOU TELL ME?
- [ ] Does he look weird? Is there food stuck in his chin fur?
- [ ] It bothers him in more ways than one. Again, now he’s aware of it he cant stop wondering about it but also, the more he see’s you do it the more awkward he acts and he gets a bit shy about it.
- [ ] Makes his fur ruffle and makes him twitchy.
- [ ] Starting to like the way you look at him, eventually he will figure out WHY he likes it.
- [ ] Don’t stare at other people though because he wants your eyes on him regardless of if he realizes it or not. It will annoy him because he thought you only glanced / stared at HIM.
- [ ] Over time he will notice if your cheeks tint pink. It’s going to make him VERY intent on you and your flustered state. He’s already pretty intense anyway but now you’re going to have his full attention as he tries to decide if maybe look him makes you sick or something. Which he would HATE.
- [ ] He’d gonna start showing off (fighting or mundane tasks) especially if he notices you staring at certain moments - this will be an unconscious act at first before deliberate.
- [ ] At some point he is going to grab your chin as you look away and silently demand you tell him why you’re staring at him so much.
Wukong:
- [ ] He clocked you glancing at him almost immediately. He’s too vain and aware not to.
- [ ] That said, he doesnt know WHY. At first.
- [ ] He’s used to people staring, he does make a spectacle of himself very often. And in his mind, why shouldn’t people stare at him? He’s amazing and all the synonyms of that word. So at first he doesnt mind it since he figures you’ll get your fill of whatever it is you’re looking at him for.
- [ ] When you dont though and he keeps catching you looking at him, well now hes curious. A curious Wukong is a dangerous thing.
- [ ] Your glances are starting to get under his fur too. Because WHY are you peeking at him?
- [ ] If others were to do it he wouldn’t care, outside of maybe using it to start a fight with them, but you? Regardless of if he realizes it or not he’s falling for you and your eyes on him makes him feel tingly.
- [ ] He’s going to start testing you. Will definitely pretend he doesn’t notice you looking for a while.
- [ ] But he’s going to start doing certain things to note exactly WHEN you stare at him so he can determine WHY. Because apparently you dont want him to know, and he going to store that nugget for future mischievous opportunities.
- [ ] But also, what if you know something he doesnt? That isnt going to slide.
- [ ] So he watches you carefully as he purposely does things to see your different reactions to them.
- [ ] He’s gonna figure you out real fast though especially when your cheeks flush pink while you were staring at his chest, his shirt had gone a little more loose than normal (might have done that on purpose).
- [ ] He is going to have the fattest smirk on his face and his tail is going to swish behind him like the arrogant jerk he is. You like him. Or at least find him pleasing to look at.
- [ ] He’s going to amp up his “do things to make them stare” mission.
- [ ] “Oops I spilled on my shirt, I guess I have to take it off” or “look at me while I do this ridiculous unnecessary show of strength” kind of shit and always right in your view.
- [ ] As much as seeing you try to cover your tracks is funny and amusing to him, eventually he’s going to get impatient with it.
- [ ] He is gonna call you out. - however THAT conversation turns out is up to you.
- [ ] But now that it’s out in the open he’s going to make sure that whenever he does something he is going to look over at you expectantly like ‘Are you watching? Yeah you’re watching. Of course you are.’
#black myth wukong#sun wukong x reader#black myth wukong x reader#destined one x reader#bk kai writes#Good luck anon! They are too aware to NOT notice#LOL Wukong is always a menace#Poor DO he just never has a clue
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thinkin im the only person who has seen the tiktoks of this person analyzing kpop idols astrology charts and she said that if u wanna date sunghoon, you have to really love sex 😭
i don't rly pay attention to other people reading charts because i read charts myself and sometimes I can tell these people are just pulling stuff out to make the stans go insane and/or exaggerating things. charts do say a lot about love and sexuality though. KJHFDSKJ i haven't read sunghoon's yet so I can't really say they're wrong. After all, a few people who have read for Jake were pretty spot on. bro is a horn dog fr. contrary to belief tho, he's dominant and a lil bit insane ... he is not the subby lil loser man we want him to be. for legal purposes that is just a general view of what I have read myself lmfao do NOT take it as 100% fact jfsdkjhfkjsdfds
#ask#anon#reminder to anyone seeing this ask that i do NOT read charts for people who ask nor do I post my chart readings#i do it myself from time to time or for my close friends#the reason I do not post chart readings is because you guys sometimes take what people say and claim it as FACT#none of the charts are fact but just a general view of people born in very precise conditions- it's astrology- not everything is accurate#and enha don't have their birth times posted so a lot of the stuff is shaky and just an assumption of a noon time birth#KFJHDSKJFSD#on occasions i touch on stuff I've noticed in readings in passing and thats it pls do not ask for more#not directed at u nonnie#its just every time i discuss a chart ask people will bombard me with requests to read for specific idols
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Awfully Fond of You
Request: i was wondering if you’d be willing to write a little something for act 1, during the tiefling party for an autistic tav who has a crush on astarion but also has body insecurities + SA trauma, maybe instead of the usual scene that goes down they request to bathe with astarion instead? a tav with poor interoception (sense of awareness with one’s body) who loves to help and touch others but doesn’t quite register others touching them or how they feel about it but still craving intimacy with astarion is something i’m obsessed with (*^^*)*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・* i love your writing style and NEVER request so im super nervous!! - 🪴 (Link to original request here).
Pairing: Astarion x gn!reader Rating: 18+ - no smut, but mature themes Word Count: 7.7k CW: Very vague alludes to SA trauma, reader is a sweetie pie, Astarion is an idiot as always - No explicit smut this time; this one's mostly fluff! Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.), as well as Astarion's plotline Also posted to: AO3
a/n: Hello folks! I come bearing my very first request fulfillment! As you can tell from the ask, 🪴 anon wanted something very personal and sweet, and I'm incredibly honored that they chose me to see their vision come to life. I did my best to hit every beat they requested, while also staying true to my writing style, which, of course, means there's plenty of banter to be had. Yes, it is a bit similar to An Evening To Ourselves and Perfect Every Time (I swear I was in the middle of writing that one when I received this request), but I'm pleased with how this new remix of Astarion's Act 1 romance scene turned out! And yes, the title IS based on a lyric from everyone's favorite Sesame Street bath time song, "Rubber Duckie." HIT IT, BOYS! (Thank you, as always, to @kermitwazowski for beta reading!) NOTE: This Tav is completely separate from bard!Tav and does not take place in the same universe as Beauty and the Bard. Part 5 of that coming soon! And my request box is open!
Without further ado, 🪴 anon, I hope you like it!
The air in camp was abuzz with laughter and cheer. Booze flowed into goblets and down throats, and smiles graced the faces of nearly every guest currently in attendance of the last minute celebration thrown together by you and your companions.
With the goblins and their leaders defeated in what turned out to be a rather difficult encounter, Halsin and Zevlor had insisted on celebrating with you and your party at your campsite before the tieflings made their way to Baldur’s Gate within the next few days.
Alfira supplied the evening with a somewhat constant stream of joyful songs, only stopping every so often to enjoy a drink with Lakrissa, while other tieflings danced and mingled with each other, relief and excitement making their shoulders relax as they reached for more goblets of wine.
You were in the process of making your rounds through the party; you’d shared a drink with Shadowheart, some jokes with Gale and Karlach, a quiet moment with Wyll, and a confusing conversation with Lae’zel about limbs being torn from a neogi? You weren’t entirely sure what those even were, but you had to assume they were a fearsome creature if Lae’zel was bringing it up.
That only left Astarion.
To be honest, you’d been avoiding him all night. Try as he might to catch your eye whenever you passed by, whether it be with a pointed clearing of his throat or a blatant call of your name, you would zero in on something else, and focus all your attention on that. Even if it meant sitting through an extended conversation with Volo.
But now, there was nowhere left to go. Unless you opted to avoid him completely. And that would only lead to questions from your companions that you wouldn’t know how to answer.
It wasn’t that you didn’t like him. No. In fact, it was the exact opposite. You liked him a lot. And you weren’t sure what to do about it.
Astarion was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen and you were… you. You’d been you, your whole life, and knew for a fact that the pair of you were an odd couple. Where he was crass, you were kind. Where he was violent, you opted to talk things through.
And yet, you couldn’t help but enjoy spending time with him. His bloodlust was fascinating to watch, and you loved sparring both physically and verbally with him. More than once, you’d both saved the other’s ass in a sticky situation during battle. More than once, you’d allowed him to drink from you to ease his sanguine hunger.
You were pretty sure that at the very least, he considered you a friend, though you weren’t sure he’d ever directly admit that to you. Unlike Gale and Wyll, who often reminded you how much they appreciated your friendship, Astarion was much tougher to read. Yet despite his somewhat malicious name calling and disapproval towards your actions, you couldn’t help but feel that he had a soft spot for you. Even when you were telling him he couldn’t kill a man in cold blood, it seemed like he legitimately enjoyed your company. The thought made you smile softly.
Taking in a deep breath and straightening your posture, you finally willed yourself to approach the vampire.
His eyes lit up in that way they often did when he was preparing to tease you.
“There you are, darling,” he said, dramatically. “I was worried I’d never see you again.”
“Worried I’d leave you, huh?” you teased with a smirk.
Astarion tsked. “Perish the thought. But I recognize someone avoiding me when I see it.”
“Ah,” you clasped your hands in front of yourself, looking down at the ground, “you noticed that.”
“When I usually have to pry you away from me, yes, I noticed.” He took a swig of the wine he was holding.
You nodded and bobbed back and forth on your toes. “Best for last, I guess?” you shrugged your shoulders and smiled at him, hoping he’d drop the subject.
He hummed lamely.
“So,” you perked up, “are you enjoying the party? I see you’ve been indulging in the spirits.”
“Watching me, were you?” Astarion smirked and you held up your hands, caught.
“Guilty.”
“You know,” he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “I never pictured myself as a hero.”
You reached out to squeeze his arm. “Don’t say that.”
His eyes met yours, and he gently pulled his arm out of your grasp. He cleared his throat before continuing.
“Never thought I’d be the one they toast for saving so many lives. And now that I’m here…” He closed his eyes and took another swig of his wine. When he brought the bottle away and opened his eyes, he met you with a scowl. “I hate it. This is awful.”
You laughed. “Really? Saving lives is awful?”
Astarion rolled his eyes. “We killed some goblins to save some tieflings. The tally of lives didn’t change much.”
“You’re awful,” you shook your head affectionately.
He looked smug before puffing his chest. “And what do I get for all my hard work?”
“I have a feeling you’re going to tell me.”
“Nothing but a pat on the head, and vinegar for wine.”
You pursed your lips and reached for the bottle, brushing your fingers against his own.
“Let me try,” you said, lifting the bottle to your lips and taking a sip. Your tongue was flooded with the bitter taste of fermented grapes and something else you couldn’t place. Your face scrunched at the flavor and Astarion snorted.
“See what I mean? Awful.”
You handed the bottle back to him, smacking your tongue to get rid of the aftertaste. He took the opportunity to continue speaking.
“All I want is a little fun. Is that so much to ask?”
You let out an amused scoff. “Knowing you, it probably is.”
Astarion lifted a hand to his chest in mock offense. “Oh, don’t be so sour. I like a good time as much as anyone.”
“‘Sour,’” you repeated, pointing at his wine bottle. “Good one.”
He smirked. “You know, we could always make our own entertainment, darling.”
“Oh, really?” You lifted an eyebrow. “And what does that entail?”
“We could get a little closer, so to speak.”
You were suddenly very aware of how close you were standing to Astarion. You took a considerable step backwards and crossed your arms.
“Sorry, I was really close to you just now, wasn’t I?” You rubbed up and down your bicep awkwardly.
Astarion blinked before his face settled into a seductive smirk. He reached his free hand out to rest on your hip. “On the contrary, my dear. I rather like it when you’re close.”
“Oh, good,” you sighed in relief. You brought your hand down to where Astarion’s rested on your hip. “Sometimes I can’t tell.”
He chuckled, squeezing your hip slightly. “So what do you say?”
“To us getting closer? I don’t mind!” To emphasize your point, you took a step forward and rested your other hand on his shoulder.
Astarion furrowed his brow. Then he chuckled again, gently removing both of your hands from his body. “While I appreciate your enthusiasm, let’s wait until things quieten down. Once the others are asleep, we’ll find each other.”
“Okay, now I’m really interested in what kind of entertainment you have planned.” You smirked at him, sensing a shift in his tone, but unsure of what it meant. “Don’t tell me you’re a master of shadow puppets or something.”
He smiled skeptically. “Very funny,” he said slowly. “But I trust you’ll meet me?”
You giggled. “Yes, I’ll see you later, Astarion.”
“Indeed you will, my love. Indeed you will.” Rather than bid you a proper goodbye, Astarion brought the wine bottle to his lips once more and turned away from you.
You spun on your heel and made your way back to the party.
This was fine. Good, even! Spending time one-on-one with Astarion was probably exactly what you needed if you wanted to navigate this silly crush you’d developed. Sure, he’d just called you “my love,” and that was a new one, but it wasn’t that much different from the other pet names he threw at you and your companions. You didn’t need this foolish infatuation distracting you on your journey or, gods forbid, diverting your attention during battle. No, this would be the perfect time to remind yourself and your fluttering heart that Astarion was, first and foremost, your friend, and a person. It didn’t need to be anything more than that.
Your feet carried you not too far from Astarion’s tent and landed you at Karlach’s tent, the tiefling in question currently lying on her back, looking up at the stars.
“Hey, Hot Stuff,” you said, standing over her.
“Soldier!” she grinned, her eyes a bit fuzzy from the wine.
“This seat taken?” You kicked your foot over some dirt to her left.
“All yours,” she said, sitting up to join you.
You settled down next to her and watched the party still taking place at the center of camp. It sounded like Gale and Lae’zel were having some sort of heated argument over which main courses were best to prepare for battle, while Halsin awkwardly weaved between them to gather a plate of food for himself.
“Saw you chatting up Fangs just now,” Karlach playfully air-elbowed you, careful not to accidentally touch and scorch you. “Did he have anything good to say?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary,” you shrugged. “He was an ass to me, I was an ass to him, the usual.”
Karlach nodded. “Sounds about right.”
You both sat in pleasant silence for a moment before you laughed a little. “It’s funny, he actually asked me to spend time with him tonight, after the party.”
Karlach furrowed her brow. “After the party? What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” you shook your head, “he said we could ‘make our own entertainment.’” You made air quotes when you repeated his words. “I figure he wants to read together or something. It was just weird how he phrased it.”
She sat up a little straighter, her expression growing more serious. “Hang on, what were his words, exactly?”
You leaned back a little, confused by her sudden interest in your mundane conversation with the vampire. “Um… I don’t know. He said he didn’t like being a hero, I told him not to say that, he said he wanted more than a pat on the head and bad wine, I tried the wine and it was bad, he said he wanted a little fun, ‘is that so much to ask?’ and I said ‘knowing you, it probably is,’ and then he said we could make our own entertainment. Or something like that.”
“Huh.” Karlach thought for a moment. “I think he means to bone you, Soldier.”
You sputtered out a laugh. “What?! No he doesn’t!”
“He sooooo does!” Karlach barked out a laugh. “And good for you! I know I’d ride him to the Feywild and back if I had the chance.”
“He does not,” you said again, trying to convince yourself as much as you were trying to convince Karlach.
But you faltered.
“Does he?”
“Soldier,” Karlach lowered her head at you, giving you an incredulous look, “he was absolutely asking you to get nasty with him.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes!” she threw her hands up in the air. “We all see the way you look at each other! You practically undress one another with your eyes every time you see each other!”
“No we don’t!” you argued, but shrank back when Karlach raised an eyebrow at you.
“You do. You know you do.”
“Am I that obvious?” you asked, lifting your hands to your cheeks as you felt them heating up.
Karlach started counting on her fingers. “He’s always the first one you check on after a battle, you’re always walking next to him when we’re traveling, AND you let him drink your blood. Weirdly often. Which is gross.”
“I like helping him,” you countered weakly. “And I always check on you guys, too!”
“Of course you do, Soldier, but we can all see how you two treat each other differently.”
You peered over at Astarion’s tent. He lounged comfortably amongst his pillows, a book propped open in his lap and his bottle of wine was not too far off.
How could he be so casual and relaxed about all of this? The thought of talking to him later tonight made your stomach drop.
“What if I turn him down?” you asked softly, leaning forward to hug your knees.
Karlach’s expression softened. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” She reached out a hand, but retracted it. “If I could, I’d rub your back like my mum used to do when I was a kid.”
You smiled over at her. “Thanks.”
She nodded. “If you don’t want to sleep with the leech, that’s your choice. Don’t let him talk you into it if it’s not what you want.”
“I’m not entirely sure what I want,” you admitted, looking up at the familiar stars above.
Karlach sighed. “Well, you don’t have to decide anything tonight.” She nodded her head towards his tent. “In fact, I could go beat the shit out of him, if you’d like.”
You laughed. “Not necessary. But I appreciate the offer.”
“I’ll do it.”
“I know you will,” you smiled and settled your cheek on top of your knee. “I do really like him,” you confessed.
Karlach thought for a moment. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s the problem?” She cocked her head curiously.
You sighed. “Sex isn’t really something… I have a great relationship with.”
“Ah,” Karlach nodded. “Same,” she joked, flaring her flames a little for good measure.
You snickered quietly. “I won’t get into it, but… yeah. No thanks. For now, at least.”
“Say no more,” she held up her hand and turned to observe Astarion at his tent. “You could always just see what he has to say? Maybe he just wants to show you he’s a master at shadow puppets or something.”
“That’s what I said!” you laughed, and Karlach joined in.
When you’d both settled, she spoke again. “But seriously, Soldier. Astarion may be a freaky vampiric bastard, but I don’t think he’d hurt you.”
“I don’t think he would either.”
“He knows we’d kill him.”
“I’m sure you’d all take turns sending him to the hells.”
“You bet your sweet ass we would,” she brought her fist to her hand as if preparing to punch this hypothetical Astarion.
After another quiet moment, she spoke again. “You don’t have to go with him tonight. Or, I could come with you, if you want. As backup.”
“Thanks,” you said, “but I think I need to have this conversation with him alone.”
“Of course.”
You looked back over at Astarion’s tent. He was now standing and stretching his arms over his head. When he caught you watching him, he smirked and threw a wink in your direction. You quickly snapped your head forward, back towards the center of the party. Groaning, you brought your hands up to cover your face.
“What am I gonna do?”
~~~~~
Staring into the trees ahead of you, you remained frozen in place.
The party had died down and dispersed about an hour ago, giving you and your companions plenty of time to perform a quick cleanup and head to bed. And just as Astarion had said, once a peaceful quiet had enveloped the camp, he’d come to your tent and wordlessly motioned for you to follow him.
Now you were wringing your hands, trying to convince yourself to follow after him into the forest.
Karlach was right: you didn’t have to do anything you didn’t want to do. And Astarion was a reasonable guy.
To a degree.
Okay, no he wasn’t.
He was always prepared to kill someone who wronged him in an instant. But surely he’d be reasonable in this department. Your gut told you that that was true. And if it wasn’t, you’d sicc Karlach and the others on him.
You knew it wouldn’t come to that, though. You felt strongly that he was the type who wouldn’t react rashly to a rejection.
Before you’d even made up your mind to do so, you found yourself walking into the trees, following the general direction you’d seen Astarion head off towards. The least you could do was hear him out. And who knew, maybe this would be a funny anecdote in your friendship later on down the line. Only time would tell.
It took a few minutes of mindless wandering before you reached a clearing. You kept going, prepared to keep walking until you eventually found Astarion, when you spotted him emerging from behind a tree in your peripheral.
You screeched to a halt and turned to face him, growing stiff with nerves when you realized he was shirtless.
“There you are,” he said, his hand lingering on the tree behind him. “I’ve been waiting.”
He approached you slowly.
Seductively.
You stood completely still.
He continued, “Waiting since the moment I set eyes on you.”
You swallowed thickly.
He moved even closer. “Waiting to have you.”
“About that,” you said, struggling to keep your voice steady, “what exactly do you mean?”
Astarion’s sensual expression morphed into one of confusion. Then he laughed a little. “Isn’t it obvious? Tonight is about pleasure.”
“I was afraid you’d say that,” you muttered.
While you were pretty sure he heard you, Astarion pressed on anyway.
“Yours. Mine. Our collective ecstasy.”
“Astarion,” you said quickly, surging forward to grab his hands in yours, “please.”
He looked surprised, but quickly recovered with an alluring smirk. “Please what, darling?”
“We don’t have to.”
Astarion narrowed his eyes skeptically. “Don’t have to what?”
You groaned and leaned your head forward to rest on his bare shoulder. After a second you lifted your face back up to look at him. “We don’t have to sleep together.”
This time, Astarion looked stunned. “Then… what are you doing here?”
You shrugged. “I thought we could talk.”
Astarion pulled away from you and took a step back. “‘Talk?’ I thought we had an understanding?”
“See, that’s the thing,” you said, “I did not understand.”
“Hmm,” he hummed and tilted his head in disbelief.
“I’m serious,” you said, stepping closer to him again. “I thought you wanted to spend time together.”
“Oh, but I do,” his lips quirked up mischievously. “I mean to spend the entire night with you, my dear.”
“And while that sounds great, I think you and I are having different thoughts about how to spend that time.” You held his gaze, willing him to hear you.
He humphed. “So you don’t want to have sex with me?”
“Not right now, no.”
He sputtered his lips together and threw his arms up. “And what does that mean?”
“It means… It means I don’t want to have sex right now. At all.” You watched his face scrunch in incredulity. “It has nothing to do with you!” you clarified, grabbing one of his hands again. “Believe me, this is all me.”
Astarion looked you up and down, scanning your body language. You still held his hand and leaned into him ever so slightly.
“What’s this then?” he asked, placing his free hand over the hand holding his.
You pulled away from him completely. “Sorry,” you said, “I end up touching the people I like. I don’t realize I’m doing it.”
He narrowed his eyes, putting the pieces together in his head.
“You like me.”
“Yes.”
“And you don’t want to sleep with me.”
“Yes.”
“So… what? You want to be friends or something?” He made a sour expression.
You laughed softly. “I’d like to think we’re already friends, actually.”
“And why would you think that?” Astarion asked, but you saw in his eyes that he was teasing.
You smiled lightly. “Maybe because you won’t stop following me around Faerûn?”
“Well, it’s not like I-”
“Or maybe because you’ve had a taste of my blood and now you can’t get enough?”
“Okay, that’s-”
“Or maybe because Karlach said you treat me differently than you treat everyone else.”
“She did not!” Astarion sounded genuinely scandalized and you laughed.
“Face it, pretty boy, you like me, too.”
Astarion groaned and rolled his eyes. “This is not at all going how I planned.”
You pursed your lips and wrapped your arms around yourself again. “Sorry.”
He glanced back at you and saw you staring at the ground. He sighed.
“No, I’m sorry, darling.”
You met his eyes. He stepped closer and placed his hands on your cheeks. Instinctively, you leaned into his touch.
“I assumed you wanted the same thing as me, and I was wrong.”
“It’s okay,” you assured. “You couldn’t have known.”
“Still,” he said, his thumb caressing the apple of your cheek, “I misread your touches as advances rather than…” He searched for the proper words. “One of your quirks.”
You exhaled, amused. “You didn’t entirely misread me.”
“Pardon?”
“I do like you. A lot. And if things were different, maybe I would sleep with you, but…”
Astarion pulled away from you and held up a hand. “No explanation needed, darling.” He smirked. “But it's good to know how you feel.”
You felt your cheeks go red. “Yeah,” you said, suddenly shy.
Astarion clicked his tongue. “You’re so adorable when you’re thinking of what to say.”
You shook your head and patted your cheeks. “I have another idea,” you said.
He nodded for you to continue and crossed his arms.
“Um… if it’s alright with you, I…” You paused, not exactly sure how he’d react.
“What is it, darling?”
“I’d like to… bathe you.”
Astarion uncrossed his arms and looked rather dumbfounded.
“What?”
Your words came out clumsily and a little too fast: “Or not! I don’t know, I just like you so much, and I’d like to be closer to you but I don’t want to have sex with you so I thought maybe we could get closer another way, or maybe-”
“Okay,” Astarion interrupted.
“Huh?”
He moved closer to you and brushed some hair out of your face.
“Okay,” he repeated softly. “Let’s bathe together.”
“Oh,” you said, disbelief painting your features.
Astarion laughed. “Did you assume I’d say no?”
You shrugged as a smile grew on your face. “I don’t know what I expected,” you reached for his hand, “but I’m really glad you said yes.”
~~~~~
The walk back to camp was pleasantly silent, save for the crickets singing their nightly aria. Astarion kept pace with you, the back of your hands brushing every so often, each time sending a tiny shock wave through your body.
This was happening. You were going to have a private, intimate moment with Astarion. Even if it hadn’t been what he originally intended, you were happy to think of a compromise that still allowed you to get close to him in a way that you knew the others in camp hadn’t, and probably wouldn’t. It made you feel special.
Happy.
And nervous.
Nervous as all hells, to be honest. You felt your heart speeding up with every step you took, bringing you closer to camp.
“Something wrong, darling?” Astarion asked, giving you a sideways glance.
You jumped a little when his voice broke the silence. “Huh?”
“Your heart, love. It’s pounding.” He waggled his eyebrows teasingly. “Nervous?”
“Oh, that.” You held a hand to your chest and focused on slowing your breathing. When you turned to look at him, you asked, “Is that weird?”
“Seeing as how this was your suggestion, maybe a little.” He smiled and nudged his shoulder into yours.
You groaned. “If this is too weird, let’s just not.”
Astarion halted and grabbed your wrist to stop you. He spun you to look into his eyes. “Whatever’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, darling, cut it out.”
“Oh, okay great. Done.”
“Really?”
“No, not really!” You narrowed your eyes at him.
He sighed. “Never is that easy, is it?”
It was a rhetorical question, but you shook your head anyway.
“Well, whatever’s making you nervous, I’ll strive to steer clear of it.”
He looked at you expectantly, as if he wanted some sort of explanation. You avoided his eyes and moved to continue walking towards camp. He followed close behind.
“It’s just that…” you paused, trying to collect your thoughts. “I haven’t been… naked in front of someone. For a while.”
Astarion bit his lip, mirth in his eyes.
“Don’t laugh!” you exclaimed, mortified.
“No, no, darling!” His tone was gleeful. “Apologies. It’s just that that’s what’s making you nervous? I’ll have you know that you’re one of the more beautiful creatures who I’ve attempted to bed. You have nothing to fear. I’ve seen all manner of bodies and I can assure you, yours will be nothing short of exquisite. In fact, your shyness is rather endearing.” He smiled at you, looking like he might still be withholding a laugh.
You flattened your lips into a line. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.” You began walking ahead of him but stopped when you heard him call your name.
“I may be a rake and a thief, but I’m no liar.”
You blinked at him. “Yes you are! You lie all the time!”
“Okay, yes, sure, but I don’t lie about things that matter! Things like this!” He motioned up and down, indicating your body.
Just as he did so, the two of you emerged from the trees and into camp. You held a finger to your lips and indicated for him to be quiet. He nodded and padded after you as you crept quietly towards the shore of the lake that lapped quietly next to your sleeping campsite. You bent to pick up towels, along with the bucket that held soap and other washing supplies that you and your companions shared in an effort to stay clean on the road. You held them up and motioned for Astarion to follow you again, away from where Withers stoically kept watch, and more towards where you’d spoken with Wyll earlier in the evening. When you turned to face Astarion, his eyes were full of questions.
“Are you sure you still want to do this?” you asked.
He perked up and grinned. “My love, there is nothing I’d like more.”
You searched his eyes one more time to make sure he was serious. When you were satisfied with what you saw, you motioned for him to step into the lake.
“Ladies first,” you teased, looking anywhere but at Astarion.
He, in turn, looked down his nose at you. “I know what this is,” he said, pointing a lazy finger at you.
“What’s what?”
“You’re stalling, darling.”
“I am not!”
Astarion crossed his arms and tilted his head towards you, unimpressed.
Your posture fell into a slouch. “Okay fine, maybe I am stalling.”
“Really?” Astarion said dramatically before dropping his arms to his sides again. He approached you, close enough to where you could feel his cool breath on your face.
He placed both of his hands on your hips. You looked down to watch as his fingers drummed a calming rhythm into your sides. He whistled quietly, gaining your attention.
“Let’s start here,” he suggested, now fingering the hem of your shirt. He refused to let you look away.
You nodded.
“Good,” he purred as you raised your arms and helped him take off your shirt.
The cool air of the evening immediately sent goosebumps down your arms, and you unconsciously crossed them over your chest for warmth.
Astarion tsked. “Come now,” he protested and placed two gentle hands on your wrists, guiding them to your sides. “Lovely,” he praised once he was able to look at you.
You made an uncomfortable sound before placing your hands on your waistband.
“These probably need to come off next, right?”
“Typically that’s how one bathes themself, yes.”
“Right,” you agreed, watching as Astarion mirrored you and reached for his own waistband. You looked down at your legs as you removed your pants, leaving you in only your underwear.
“Goodness, love,” Astarion said quietly and you looked at him shyly. He himself was now only in his underwear. “You have nothing to be shy about. You’re magnificent.”
“Would you shush and get into the water please?” you half teased, half begged. Anything to end this weird tension you were feeling.
“Alright,” he laughed softly before reaching for the waistband of his underwear. He looked at you for approval. When you nodded, he removed them in one fluid motion as if he’d done this a million times. Maybe he had.
Regardless, you couldn’t help but stare at the space between his legs.
He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Eyes up here.”
“Sorry,” you said, immediately flicking your eyes up to his face. “I didn’t- It’s just-”
Astarion chuckled. “I understand.”
“Thank you,” you said, breathing a sigh of relief.
“Your turn,” he said, lifting his eyebrows.
You bit your lip and slowly reached for your underwear. When you pulled them off, Astarion watched you without a hint of judgment in his eyes. You ran a hand through your hair and shifted nervously on your feet.
He held out a hand to you and you stared at it before looking up at his face. He rolled his eyes.
“I’m not going in this frigid water alone, are you mad?”
You laughed and took his hand. He instantly pulled your body to his, holding you so that you were chest to chest. He gave you a seductive smirk before leaning in. You leaned away, avoiding his advances. You shook your head ever so slightly before stepping into the gentle water. Astarion remained standing on the shore before following after you.
Braving the cold of the water, you sunk down until you were sitting in neck deep water. You let the bucket you’d brought with you float next to you as Astarion crept through the water, clearly freezing.
“Why did I let you convince me to bathe at night? There’s no sun out to warm this wretched lake.”
You ducked your mouth below the surface to blow some bubbles in his direction. “You should know by now that dunking your whole body helps you warm up faster.”
He gave you a dirty look before slowly sinking down in front of you, yelping and contorting his face the entire time. You couldn’t help but squawk out a laugh.
When he was fully seated, he pulled you towards him, making you sit in his lap. He gave you a sensual look that had you frowning and pulling back. He raised a quizzical eyebrow.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
“When I said I wanted to bathe you, that’s all I meant.”
“Ah.” His tone was confused. Then he shook his head. “Right, sorry. This is - well… you know.” He smiled, looking like he was admitting defeat and that he wasn’t pleased about it. “I have no idea what to do with you.”
You swam behind him, pulling the bucket of soap towards you and laying your hands on both of his shoulders. “You don’t have to do anything.”
He spun to face you. “Nothing?”
You nodded and he huffed out a laugh. “No sex, no fooling around…I’m sorry, darling. It’s just - having to slow down, it’s… I’m just not used to it.”
“That’s okay,” you rested your hands on his shoulders again. “We’re in no rush.”
He hummed. “Can you… I don’t know. Help? Show me what to do?”
Laughing, you took his hand. “I’ll try.”
You led your weightless bodies into shallower water and had Astarion sit facing away from you, towards the shore. Reaching for the bucket again, you pulled out a bar of soap and a sponge.
“Relax,” you cooed, seeing how tensely he held his shoulders close to his ears.
He let loose a breath and you watched as he relaxed his muscles. Your eyes traveled lower, suddenly catching a glimpse of a complicated and gruesome scar on his back. Your eyes widened, taking in how the water and moonlight reflected off of it. Calmly, you dipped the sponge in the water and added soap before gently rubbing his right shoulder. Astarion melted further, allowing his neck to tilt forward, which, in turn, gave you a better view of his scarred flesh.
“Um… Is it okay for me to wash your back?” you hesitated in bringing the sponge across his shoulder and over his back to his other shoulder.
“Why wouldn’t - oh. I suppose you’re talking about the poem.” He barely looked over his shoulder at you.
“I’ve never seen a poem like this,” you said quietly, a hint of anger in your voice.
He chuckled darkly in response. “It’s a gift from my old master, Cazador. He considered himself quite the artist and used his slaves as a canvas. Do you like it, darling?” He shimmied his shoulders, mockingly preening over the evidence of his own torment.
“Not at all,” you said evenly, continuing to wash his shoulders.
“Ouch, love, you’d hurt his feelings if he heard that.” Not a hint of joy reached his eyes.
“I don’t much care about the feelings of this old master of yours.”
“Oh, be still, my undead heart,” he held a hand to his chest sarcastically. Then he sighed. “You’re allowed to wash it. It doesn’t hurt anymore.” His voice was quiet when he said, “Thank you for asking.”
Wordlessly, you moved the sponge from the back of his neck to his shoulder blades.
“I’m not going to break,” he laughed softly, “you don’t have to be so gentle.”
You increased the pressure you were applying to his skin before adding more soap to the sponge. “Move up a little,” you instructed, tapping him to move closer to the shore. “Lean forward.”
Now you had a better angle to wash away the grime of the road from his back, and an even better view of the scar. You clicked your tongue and set to work.
Perhaps uncomfortable by your silence, Astarion began to speak again. “He, Cazador, composed and carved that poem over the course of a night.” There was a venom to his words. Maybe a deep regret, or a weighing sadness. “He made a lot of revisions as he went.”
Your hand paused over a particularly brutal ridge. You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around his torso, resting your cheek against the raised tissue. “You’re brave for enduring that.”
“What are you doing?” Astarion straightened, making you push your cheek further into his skin.
You pulled back immediately. “Sorry, I wanted to hug you. I should have asked. I just… wanted you to know that I care.”
Astarion looked over his shoulder at you blankly. “You ‘care?’”
You nodded. “Turn back around, let me keep washing you.”
He gave you a slight nod before facing forward again and leaning over.
After another silent moment of gliding the sponge across his back, you asked, “Any idea what it means? Or is it just some pattern?”
Astarion let out an unamused laugh. “Hells if I know. Not sure how much you know about vampires, darling, but typically, we can’t see our reflections.” He spoke as if talking to a child.
You splashed his back with a small wave from your hand. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“You’re lashing out at me when I was just asking a question.”
“I-” He paused. Then he fell silent.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped but… I’m not your enemy,” you said gently. “We don’t have to keep talking about this. We don’t have to talk at all.”
Astarion groaned. “Silence is dreadful, darling.”
“Is that why you never stop talking?” you teased, trying to lighten the mood again.
“Good one,” he said flatly, but you could hear the smile in his voice. “I only talk because you lot never have anything interesting to say.”
You scoffed with a smile. “I have plenty of interesting things to say!”
“Oh, really? Like what?”
“Like-” you thought for a moment. “Like the other day! When I was talking with you about your embroidery!” By now you’d moved on to washing over Astarion’s arms. You spun him to face you so you could wash and massage his hands.
Astarion clicked his tongue. “Unfortunately, darling, that’s not an entirely interesting topic, seeing as how I was in the middle of mending a shirt and you just wanted an excuse to talk to me.”
“I did not!” you denied, massaging between his fingers. Unconsciously, his fingers curled around yours before retracting and flexing.
“Deny all you want, you still didn’t say anything interesting.”
“Hmm,” you narrowed your eyes at him. “If I’m so uninteresting, why did you want to spend the evening with me of all people?” You were massaging his other hand.
“You-” He paused again.
“I?”
“You’re… I’m still trying to figure you out.” His voice grew softer when you pulled yourself closer to wash across his chest. You sensed the shift and looked up at his face to make sure he was okay with your actions. When he nodded minutely, you continued.
“If you’re trying to figure me out… one might say that you’re interested in me.”
He groaned. “Say whatever you want to help you sleep better tonight, darling.”
“Uh huh,” you said pleasantly to yourself, feeling like you’d won. You looked away to add more soap to the sponge and when you looked back, you realized how close you were to his face. His pupils were blown wider than usual and you could see yourself reflected in his eyes against the moonlight. His breath tickled your face.
He watched you with an intensity that had you hesitating. Why was he so-?
“Look up,” you said, looking up yourself to demonstrate what you wanted. “Please.”
He held your gaze for as long as he could before looking up at the sky.
You carefully brushed the sponge along his throat, pausing briefly when you got to the twin wounds on his throat from the night he was turned. You circled them gently with the sponge before rinsing the suds with water cupped in your hand. A shiver ran through Astarion’s body.
“Are you okay?” you asked.
“Yes,” he said looking back down at you once you’d finished rinsing the suds away. “But I’d very much like to kiss you.”
You blinked a few times before resting your forehead against his. When you pulled back, you asked, “Is it okay for me to wash your hair?”
Astarion looked at you for a moment, his eyes flicking to your lips for a second before meeting your eyes again. “I suppose so,” he said.
“I don’t have to. Your legs are still-”
“I can handle my own lower half, thank you.” He winked at you.
You smiled and handed him the sponge before bringing yourself to rest behind him again. You gathered the bucket that was still floating nearby and submerged it until it was filled about halfway with water.
“You can either dunk yourself, or I can pour this over your head,” you held the bucket for Astarion to see.
“I’m actually quite enjoying you taking care of me, darling. I trust you won’t drown me.”
“A mistake,” you said, pretending to dump the bucket over his head all at once. “Can vampires even drown? It’s not like you need to breathe.”
“I’d rather not find out, if it’s all the same to you,” he smirked.
Instead of dumping the entire bucket on his head like you threatened, you poured a gentle stream along the back of his skull before moving forward to evenly wet the rest of his hair.
“Bloody hells, that is cold,” he pushed some flattened curls out of his face.
“For being a fearsome vampire, you sure are a wimp,” you teased.
“I could rip your throat out.”
“And I might be able to drown you.” You placed firm hands on both his shoulders and pushed gently, as if you wanted to test your theory.
“Terrifying,” he smirked, running the sponge along his legs underwater.
“You should see what I did to those goblins who were holding Halsin hostage.”
Astarion laughed. “I know, darling, I was there. Who knew you could be so hellbent on vengeance?”
You laughed softly, coating your hands in soap before running them through his curls. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”
“Like?” he prompted.
“Astarion!” you exclaimed sarcastically. “You want to know more about me?”
“Well if I knew you’d make a fuss, I wouldn’t have said anything.” Despite his tone, his eyes were closed in pleasure as you continued to massage his scalp.
You chuckled quietly, trying to think of something to share with him.
“I’ve lived in Baldur’s Gate my whole life,” you started.
“A shame we never crossed paths.”
“I’m not entirely sure you’d spare me a passing glance.”
Astarion opened his eyes. “Don’t say that.”
You shrugged. “I read a lot, growing up, and liked being indoors. But I also liked the outdoors. I helped my dad tend our garden, and helped my mom cook dinner–”
“How quaint.”
“We’d visit my aunt in the Upper City every Midwinter, and I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up.”
“Pity, you have such a promising career as a spa keeper.”
You examined Astarion’s head to make sure you hadn’t missed a spot. When you were pleased with your own work, you continued: “This is the first big adventure I’ve ever been on.”
“First brain worm?” Astarion opened one eye and pointed to his temple.
You laughed and nodded.
He smiled. “Mine, too.”
You filled the bucket with more water and held a hand over his forehead to keep soapy water from splashing into his eyes when you poured the fresh water over his foamy locks.
Astarion sighed as the soap began to wash away. You filled the bucket again to repeat the process.
“Did you ever foresee yourself bathing a beautiful vampire, when you were a child?”
You pursed your lips. “I mean, I had my hopes.” You smiled as he let out a laugh.
“Tonight definitely didn’t go how I expected,” he admitted.
“You didn’t foresee yourself getting bathed by your incredibly interesting leader?”
He let out an amused breath from his nose. “No I did not.”
You finished rinsing out the last of the soap from his hair, but continued raking your fingers through it. “Are you disappointed?” Your voice was small.
He turned to face you, making your hands disconnect from his curls. “Not at all,” he said, sounding genuine. “Pleasantly surprised, actually.” He thought for a moment. “And cleaner than I’ve been in weeks. Probably.”
You laughed. “Happy to have provided my services.”
He smiled at you, his eyes softer than you’d ever seen them. “This was nice.” He lifted his hand to swipe through his hair. “Let’s hope you didn’t ruin my hair.”
“With soap and water?”
“You might have done it wrong,” he teased.
“How? It’s soap and water!”
“Not so loud,” he chuckled, nodding his head towards camp. You could vaguely hear Gale snoring in the distance.
“I’m leaving,” you joked, moving to get up, but Astarion grabbed your wrist and pulled you back into the water.
“Am I not to return the favor?”
You looked back at him and half smiled, patting his cheek. “I’m not convinced you’d do a thorough enough job.” With that, you pushed away from him and got up, gathering the bathing materials and walking back to shore where towels awaited.
Astarion sputtered behind you. “How dare you! I could give you a massage, the likes of which you’ve never experienced before!”
“You know, sometimes, Astarion, people do things for other people, and don’t want anything in return.” You threw the towel over your head to start drying your hair before wrapping it around your body.
Astarion did the same before bending to pick up your discarded clothes. “I- Well… You-” He sighed heavily. “You’re a tricky one, aren’t you?”
“I’m not trying to be,” you shrugged.
“And yet,” he sidled up next to you, offering you his arm, “you are.”
You took his arm in one hand and the bucket of washing supplies in the other and followed him as he led you back into camp. You placed the materials back where you found them and brought your newly freed hand up to wrap around Astarion’s arm. You leaned your head onto his shoulder.
When you arrived at your tent, he handed you your clothes.
“I suppose this is where we end our evening,” he said quietly so as not to wake the others.
“I suppose so,” you agreed, your eyes shining as you looked at him.
“What?” he asked.
“Thank you for letting me do that,” you said, still holding his arm. “I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.”
“I did,” he said. “Very much, actually.” When he saw the excited look on your face, he amended, “Don’t be weird.”
“I’m not weird,” you said, weirdly.
“Uh huh,” Astarion said, pulling his arm out of your grip, not unkindly.
“We can do it again,” you bobbed on your feet, “if you want.”
“I… could be persuaded,” he nodded.
“Good,” you said. Then you surged forward to kiss his cheek. “Thank you. Goodnight Astarion.” You turned and ducked down into your tent.
“Pleasant dreams, darling,” he said softly.
You didn’t see how his hand lingered on his cheek where your lips had made contact, didn’t see the small smile that crept onto his face or the mask beginning to slip.
Instead, you had pleasant dreams filled with laughs and curls and a flash of fangs accompanied by a smile of delight.
#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion bg3#spawn astarion#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion x reader#astarion x you#astarion x gender neutral reader#astarion x gn!reader#astarion x tav#astarion fanfic#soft astarion#baldur's gate 3 fanfic#bg3 fanfic#bg3 fanfiction#my writing#mine#🪴 anon#requests#apologies if i missed any tags/content warnings#🪴 anon i hope you like it!#it was cool trying to rework stuff in a new way#especially since astarion has a few proposition scenes#you'll notice i snuck in some karlach origin run dialogue as well#i'm OBSESSED with astarion being thrown off his game#:)
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Writing Black characters requires the same basic skill set that you apply to the rest of your characters.
Sure everything isn't one to one, and there are absolutely more complicated things that you might not consider off rip- thus the existence of this page. But we are not a different species! You know how to find gemstones and what not to compare to eye color. You know how to research cool hairstyles you've never had, and how the styles can be symbolic of a character's time of life. You know how to find obscure details that you want for your character's cool hobbies.
You already have (or at least should have) the skill set! You're just not used to having to apply it for Black characters!
I'm not saying this to discourage anyone! If anything, this should unlock some confidence. Part of the reason I sometimes answer with "the same way you do white/nonblack characters" is because you already know the physical "how-to"- how else are you writing stories with other characters if you didn't know how to research visuals, write simile and metaphor, and describe things for the reader?
The issue is how to be actively conscious of accuracy and the potential antiblack racism during the creation of your story and in the end product, and again, that's where I come in.
#now if you dont research at all well... theres another issue to address#this isnt in response to that particular anon. ive just noticed i say this a lot#creatingblackcharacters
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I have been so cooked for this man lately that I need to talk about him— I genuinely think that with a ADHD/autism/AuDHD partner Ford takes notes on your stims and quirks, even before any serious relationship. Just little things like “waves hands when excited :)” and “prefers baggy sweaters” just like a little way of understanding you better 🥺💖
yesss definitely! as an AuDHDer who stims a lot myself, this is everything!! jfskhfshsk
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"Aaaahhhhh oh myy-" the rest of what you were saying was incomprehensible because the words slurred together in an excited squeal. A gleeful expression upon your face, you waved and shook your hands in front of your body, then pressed them over your mouth, to stifle another squeal.
Ford smiled to himself as he watched you from the other side of the room, where he propped his notebook open to scribble something down.
"Heeyyyyy Grunkle Ford, watcha got there?" Mabel's voice rang out right beside him.
He snapped the book shut and whipped his head around.
"Mabel!"
"Waves hands when excited." she cited what she had just read, "Were you talking about-"
"No, I was certainly not!" Ford said, while his cheeks started to turn a deep red colour.
"Are you suuuure? Because to me it looks like you diiiid." she said, a cheeky grin on her face and dragging some of the vowels.
"You are mistaken, dear child. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do." he excused himself and stood up, holding the notebook close to him.
Without letting her get another word in, he moved past her and made his way into his study.
There, he propped open the notebook to the page he'd just added a new note onto.
- likes to hum when no one is around - seems to prefer more loose fitting clothes. possibly because the don't restrict movement as much - will subconsciously play and fidget with any jewellery they're wearing - sorts and eats their food in a particular order - would rather not eat at all than something not appealing - skin irritating clothing causes great discomfort. remove tags!! - wants to talk but holds back. encouraging them has positive effect - avoids eye contact but will look at faces when the person isn't looking at them - do not touch without warning and do not force contact! expressed great discomfort to me after being forced to physical contact by someone else - repeating phrases and noises (quite endearing) - easily startled by sudden and loud noises, as well as irritated by high pitched ones, almost too quite to hear - shows behaviours similar to felines. has stated that they would be delighted to posses the ability to purr (he would be delighted too)
Ford smiled as he looked up and leaned back. He really hoped Mabel hadn't seen too much, otherwise she might figure out how interested in you he really was. And we wasn't sure if he was ready for that.
For now he would be very much content continuing to dreamily gaze over at you and notice all the little things, so he could understand you better.
Maybe one day he could work up the courage to ask you out.
-------------------------------------------------- thank you for reading <3 reblogs are appreciated
#i'm sorry if this is too ooc - i haven't read journal 3 or tbob#his notes are in no particular order#he didn't necessarily notice or wrote them down in this order#is it unconsciously or subconsciously? english isn't my first language so please pardon any mistakes#did anyone ever knew about the word 'interlocutor'? because this is the first time i'm seeing it#asks#anon ask#requests#stanford pines#ford pines#stanford pines x reader#stanford x reader#ford pines x reader#gravity falls#gf#my writing#stimming#stims#adhd#autism#audhd#actually autistic#maybe i went a bit overboard... anyywaayyy#not proofread#it's late#i need to go to sleep but i wanted to post smth today#requested
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Hi! I hope that you are doing well🥰💗💕 I really adore your art!! Your Yuu really wins me over to the very heart!💘💘💘
I wear lightning-shaped earrings and they really remind me of Sebek!⚡ I would like your girl to put them on and draw this🥺💓
But I also really love her black earrings that she wears when she's a teenager and green ones when she's an adult! It's really cute💕💕
And! I would be interested to know if Sebek notices when Yuu puts on other earrings or doesn't wear them at all if she doesn't want to?👉👈💗
Have a nice day!🥰❣️❣️❣️
decide ur ending, which feels more in character
#for me#awwee i was so giddy when i saw that i got another picture#but it's 12:56 AM and i exhausted myself thinking which way should it go#twisted wonderland#twst#sebek zigvolt#jack howl#ace trappola#deuce spade#twst yuu#twst mc#i mean i think he would notice right away if he did have a look at yuu since her hair is short it's hard for the earrings to hide#but then he might be too busy on study and daily duty of tunnel visioning on malmal and he is from different class too so#by public seduction he means seducing him publicly#here yuu smiling for that anon who once asked for smiling yuu#fanart#also thank you very much the positive energy this ask and the many emojis gave me#the written detail of the earring phase makes me feel very appreciated as well thank you#also i have been receiving several really nice asks recently#thank you very much for those too people who know they sent them#anyhow sebek this becomes public the moment u yell about it for the whole world to hear
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katsuki is such a deep sleeper but once you move to leave the bed suddenly he’s up
asking slurred questions: “w’s wrong? cant sleep?” while trying to grab you and get you back into bed
you just answer “‘m gettin water katsuki lemme go” all groany trying to get out of his hold
he doesn’t let go easy but once he does he follows you through the house into the kitchen. you get yourself a nice cold water bottle with condensation around it(AGGHHH) and drink. like the creep he is he stares at you but you can’t notice bc he’s wrapped himself around your back. you offer his some water and he downs the rest(greedy loser). then you both go back to bed, which katsuki decides to pull you in close and never let go(even if you die of thirst)
anyway love you caitie❤️❤️
All that intense hero training and a whole. entire. war. just for him to be able to go from dead-to-the-world and Snoring to ... ready to run a mile after you around the house..........
Even if all you gotta do is pee, too... you're coming back to bed all groggy eyed to find his wide open, like he was just sitting there, making sure you were going to the bathroom and Nothing Else. Cuz you're right, if it's water, then he's right there beside you the whole time and drinking the whole thing on the way back upstairs (that is, after you manage to get him to let go of your wrist and stop all the get back in bed-ing...for someone who complains about your whining, he's surprisingly? Unsurprisingly? no better).
Please, please, please, for his sake, just keep a full water cup by the side of your bed and make sure to use the bathroom right before laying down, too (even if he's whining about how long you take then also) just so you can stayed wrapped up with him for the max amount of time possible🥺🥺🥺 Doesn't that seem like the best solution?
(^^ don't tell him I snitched, but bakugo told me to write that last bit, btw)
Love u more, anon!!🩷🩷🩷
#bakugo#not to get off topic but i swear by the tumbler i keep by my bed#i need it#anyway ur so right and it's so funny how needy desperate this guy is#is kinda offended when you dont ask him where he's going when he gets up to p*ss ........#but tbh u do notice but his weight shifts the WHOLE BED#meanwhile you just breathe out and he's like. making sure ur okay lmao#ajsdfhalksdjhfkasjd#at least he cares right?#was gonna say something else too i forget tho#THANKS FOR THIS THO ANON MWAH#caitie answers#gen#anon
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a quick guide to dog lords, telling your arls from your teyrns, and generally how ferelden works
okay, this isn't quite what anon asked for, by which i mean not at all, but unfortunately they activated my interest in some of my favourite lore. it should hopefully contain a lot of the relevant stuff and i’ll try to branch out to less fereldan specific information in other posts!
okay, let’s start with the hierarchy. there’s four kinds of noble in ferelden
royalty: you know who these guys are. except for during the orlesian occupation, ever since ferelden became one kingdom, it’s been ruled by the theirin family. which i think is for 388 years, i really hope that’s right, i got out a calculator
teyrns: these are super powerful lords, basically banns so powerful that other banns swear fealty to them. they’re second only to the king, who is essentially just the most powerful one of them. there used to be a lot of them, but with one dynasty in power for so long, that kind of opposition has been eroded away. there are only two remaining: the couslands of highever in the north, and the mac tirs of gwaren in the south
arls: these are extra special banns. they answer to a teyrn or king and hold a strategic fortress for them. we know of six—amaranthine, south reach, denerim, redcliffe, west hills, and edgehall—but i’m unsure if that’s because they are only six or because there are unnamed others
banns: these are your common or garden noble, the lowest ranking and most common. this is your local lord type. they seem to vary the most in power, though, with some banns having big speaking roles in the landsmeet
but i kind of should have written that list in the opposite direction. what do i mean by that? well, in your standard medieval hierarchy, and in a lot of the rest of thedas, power comes down from the king, who lets you hold the land. but in ferelden, most of the land is owned by freeholders: commoners, well-off enough to own their land but still not by any means nobles.
how does that work? well, let’s say i’m a freeholder.
i own my land, but thedas is a rough place. if i want to keep my land, i’d better swear fealty to a bann. i’ll pay him a portion of the goods produced on my land, and in return, he’ll protect my land from anyone wanting to beat me up and take all my goods... and also, you know, not beat me up himself, as he probably would if i didn’t have any bann looking after me. it kind of sounds like he has all the power, right? like a medieval protection racket? it’s certainly how he gets his power and wealth
so i, freeholder harker, have signed up with bann jeff. it makes sense, because he’s the closest to my freehold, and i want soldiers to actually get here in time if i’m in trouble. that’s why my family has been swearing fealty to his family for generations. it’s just how things are done
but the thing is: i hate bann jeff. maybe he takes too much of my harvests, maybe he sides with a different freeholder when we go to him with a dispute, maybe his men don’t mind their pleases and thank yous when they come for my goods. i’m well within my rights to say fuck bann jeff and leave him. especially if there’s another bann nearby who would be perfectly happy to take my goods instead and treat me right. and the less freeholders bann jeff has, the less resources and men he has to make a fuss about it with. if bann jeff pisses off enough people, he might not have any freeholders left at all. and where will his wealth and power come from then? maybe soon he won’t be a bann at all
of course, bann jeff’s family might feud with the family of the bann that stole me away for a few hundred years. but that’s hardly my problem, is it? “courting” someone else’s vassals is apparently the biggest cause of conflict within the bannorn
anyway, this isn’t just how banns work; it’s how all power theoretically works in ferelden. there are no serfs/“unfree” men. every peasant has a right to go where he will and choose which freeholder he works for, just as every freeholder has the right to choose their bann, and banns who swear to teyrns can break away. (the latter is probably less common because a teyrn could fuck you up. i’m guessing you’d have to get the king’s backing about it to survive that.) and even the king answers to his lessers in the landsmeet, the super ancient gathering of nobles where law is made, which can override the king on any matter of law. (but they’re not going to do it if the king is really popular or powerful, because. you know. there’s a limit to all things called common sense and they would prefer not to get squashed about it.) but generally, everyone who holds power in ferelden has to curry favours with their so-called lessers in order to keep their goodwill.
everywhere else in thedas thinks this is weird as hell, by the way. having to court the approval of those beneath you? even the king having to do that? wtf? but the level of freedom means everything to fereldans. it’s their highest ideal and they’re really proud of it.
(the people who really don’t have a voice are what the ttrpg calls “low freemen”, which according to its handbook, consists of criminals, prostitutes, and elves. they still have the right to freedom of movement and to be paid for their work, but they’re not going to have freeholders and banns seeking their favour and speaking for them, and they typically have to resort to bribery for entrance to cities, their homes are bought and sold by others on a whim, things like that. ultimately it makes their position incredibly vulnerable to abuse, as we see in the games. i’m sure we’ve all played the tabris origin. there’s a reason the potential boon to get a bann for the alienage is so wild.)
so, let’s say you made it, everyone loves and/or tolerates you, and you’re a noble. what good does that do you and what can you do? firstly, you have a voice in the landsmeet, which is super important and means the king wants your goodwill and advice. more generally, you have three basic functions of a noble: raising taxes/tribute, commanding soldiers, and dispensing justice. nobles are expected to live off the wealth provided by their land and it would be hugely looked down on if they did work instead, with exceptions for, like, military careers and the chantry, which are respectable for their status. they raise militia from the commoners when necessary, and they also have trained soldiers or possibly knights (see postscript) in their service. that means you can protect your land and you can win glory and spoils when the kingdom goes to war, it also means you’ll be expected to provide those men when your liegelord calls for them. and lastly the law is their responsibility. remember how in the awakening dlc you had to make judgements as the arl of amaranthine? like that! the smaller scale you are, the smaller scale it’s going to be. in turn, if you want a dispute sorted by a higher power, you have to go up to your liegelord, maybe a teyrn or the king, or if you can’t get one of them, a more powerful bann or arl in the area. possibly the chantry would be an alternate option? if it’s just about finding someone you will both listen to, which is usually the main issue
some privileges other than the standard “power over those beneath you” that you can typically expect to belong to the noble class, even if it’s not specific to dragon age: the right to carry a sword, the right to have a coat of arms, the right to precedence on formal occasions and a special seat up front in your local chantry... sometimes niche ones, like fabrics and clothing that are only permissible to wear for people of a certain rank, so it distinguishes them. you can expect favours from/common class interests with your king, you would expect to be given a trial or treated chivalrously if things did not go your way, depending on era you might be captured for ransom in battle rather than killed outright, you probably have exemptions from certain royal taxation... etc. etc.
that’s what i have! i hope these are some helpful fundamentals and that anyone who has more knowledge than me on any aspect feels welcome to contribute it
P.S. as an aside, i’m a little confused about the fereldan use of knights. they definitely exist as lesser nobility, but i don’t understand how they fit into the hierarchy. a real knight was typically a vassal who held land from his liegelord and fought for him in exchange. i... don’t know how that works in the context of land ownership mostly going upwards. they’re definitely around, anyone addressed as ser is a knight, you have the knights of redcliffe and people like ser jory and ser cauthrien. (someone in an order like the templars has the rank of knight and gets ser and everything, but is not a noble.) as a rule of thumb i think generally they’re probably just members of noble families with that dedicated military training and no greater title to lay claim to? i’m basing that on stuff like nathaniel howe being sent as a squire to his mother’s cousin, a chevalier; if he’d completed that he probably would have been a knight unless/until he inherited his father’s place? i don’t know. i’m making this up. and on the other hand, there’s very little distinction in fereldan between your regular noble and a some kind of warrior class, which is why i struggle to see the purpose. (there are also inexplicable career soldiers who are not knights. what the hell is funding that upkeep and armour, buddy. you and whose land ownership? this is why you were fighting the darkspawn with your whole arms out, aveline. stop trying to imply ferelden has a standing army you can go off and join. yes i see you carver lore. i will not buy it.) ANYWAY, because knights are more prevalent in certain areas, i do wonder if it’s an import from the long orlesian occuption, based on the knightly order of chevaliers? i don’t fucking know. worth chewing on
#dragon age#ferelden#dragon age: origins#sorry to anon for asking specifically what your exact question was#and then going off on one anyway. that is my bad. if anything is not answered here let me know#and to anyone who has noticed the probably obvious things i missed pls be gentle#god this is so fucking long AGSHSJSKKS i thought i was being brief i dodged powerpoint... anyway#i just couldnt get to grips with what a noble can do until you know what different kinds there are and where there power comes from and.#well here we are
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