#nothing that I really knew how to develop

[unknownogre]

They say it’s for the betterment of the world. That I’m not a prisoner…that I’m free to wonder in between moments of recovery. Still…this hospital is a prison and I am the most important patient. I am the perfect match for everyone on the planet. My blood, my organs…not a single body will reject them. I’m kept here by the Hero’s league. This is my ‘post’ after registration and trying to do good to help the world, I don’t know what I was thinking.

Do I make money? Not enough. I’m told it is my duty to give and as a member of the Hero’s League that I’m doing my part so wealth shouldn’t be a deciding factor. I’m also blessed with an insane healing factor. They can pull organs out of me once a day as long as they are careful about which ones. If it is the heart, I need a few days to recover. I can’t work out because no matter what the organs are new when they regrow. So even if my arms are stronger, my lungs are new, my heart…its new. I can’t train them to work more efficiently, I can’t get stronger. I suppose that is their plan.

I don’t pick, its congress, house reps…politicians that affect laws that govern how the Hero’s League work. Hell my organs are in the founding members as well. Entire medicine lines have been developed on my blood alone. I’d be worth billions if I held any control over my parts. I’m just worth thousands not that I even get to spend that much. No vacations, no time off…no rest.

…I want to feel better about this. I hate it. If I don’t make money from this, then I’d rather be helping the poor and children. I’m not though. I’m helping fund the League and their greed. Why give me what I’m due when they can just lock me away.

…I want out…I WANT OUT! I WANT OUT!

Then there was a faint explosion…well the first one was faint. The subsequent ones got louder…and closer until the floor shook. I could see smoke billowing from the side of the hospital. I’d was worried for a second but then I realized that the only people here are rich politicians and their families. I can’t be bothered to care anymore. I was just standing by my window, looking upon a city I was ‘saving’ but couldn’t live amongst. If I’m lucky the building will do so much damage to my body I’ll be allowed the sweet release of death…but I doubt I’ll be that lucky.

I could hear fighting in the hall, yes they had guards around me all the time. Said it was for my safety but it has been ten years and no one tried to attack me once…so I was convinced they were put there to make sure I didn’t run. How dare I dream of living on my own right?

I’m curious now as I take a position opposite the door. I wonder what is going on. I know nothing. I don’t have news, or social media…I’m a phantom in this city. A mere whisper of a legend that no one is sure exists. Civil war in the Hero’s League? Random attack on a politician here and I’m to be taken hostage so they can get their freedom? I have no idea. I don’t care really.

“This is the room…he has to be here!”

It was an alto feminine presenting voice. Rather lovely if you ask me. I hate the nurses here, they keep sending in ones they think are ‘pretty’ so I bond with them and want to be more compliant, but their eyes are all the same…distant. They were acting, all of them were acting. No one wants one sided love…I took what I could get but I knew it was empty. I wonder if Sarah survived the initial assault? The door was ripped off the hinged and there was a woman standing nearly seven feet tall with arms and legs like tree trunks covered in Kevlar body armor. She looked DOPE. She stepped aside though and a pair came past her. A man and a woman with themes of purple black and blue in their ‘armor’. The woman floated surrounded by a purple energy and the man had a million different blades all over his body.

“We’d like you to come with us. We are From The Dark League.”

I sighed and just grabbed a water bottle and opened it looking to them. The large woman was looking nervous and the man with the blades looked impatient but the magical woman looked calm.

“Why? Is going with you better than staying here. This cage is gilded ya know?”

I took a sip and the man looked me up and down and then turned away to stand with the large woman by the door. I wasn’t sure if they were a couple or not, I guess just minions. Hell, I don’t know why I’m thinking about such things.

“Well, we know of you and your situation. We’d offer help. In exchange for harvesting your organs once a week, we’ll pay you obscene amounts of money and make sure you are safe. You’ll be under contract for a duration and once that duration is up you’ll be free to do as you choose. How does that sound?”

This woman, this wonderful Witchy woman just said perhaps the most wonderful words I’ve ever heard in my entire life. I was just about to agree too until the wall near where I stood was smashed to bits and the leader of the Hero’s League called Justice stood there in his suit of white and gold. He could fly, was immune to bullets and most physical damage and the only reason there was still crime was because he couldn’t be bothered to actually stop it anymore, I made him more money than he knew what to do with.

“Stop right there Morticia…you won’t take him and I’ll paint the sidewalk with your blood in order to keep him here.”

There was no more show huh? No kind of sympthay. I get it, he’ll kill to keep me here and I don’t know. I thought apathy was my existence, but there was something to be said for the show, the fake emotions. I could pretend that I was doing this for the right reasons, that I was helping. No! I was getting angry. I was a pawn for too long…and as Morticia fired off a few impotent blasts my heart started to hammer in my chest…

…what was this I was feeling. Aside from the pent up rage of a decade of torture and solitary confinement. I felt something from Justice. Something familiar…my eyes locked on him as he approached the increasingly desperate woman. Her minions came in but where brushed aside…no they were killed right away. Not yet, he was going to make an example out of her.

“NO!”

I shouted and held out my hand…Justice stopped cold. I could feel it. I held his heart. No…no it wasn’t his heart it was mine. I HELD HIS HEART IN MY HAND! It was mine, it would always be mine. Sure it adapted to be in his body…but it was mine. I don’t know when he had the surgery. I never knew who got what and when. Still he had a bit of me in him and I had control.

“You don’t get to keep me here anymore! I’m SO sick of this. I don’t care if I’m helping rich assholes stay alive longer than the gods want. LET THEM DIE! You don’t help children, you don’t help the poor which is what I SIGNED ON TO DO! YOU LINE YOUR POCKETS BECAUSE OE ME! I HATE IT! I HATE ALL OF IT! You know they offered me money, protection AND freedom. Not to lock me up and rip out organs from my body, which they very well could do. NO! These ‘villains’ are going to treat me better than the heroes ever have.”

Justice looked at me and for the first time anywhere I saw genuine fear in the so called hero’s face. I was drunk in that moment. I loved this. Do villains get to feel like this all the time? Or maybe the really powerful ones do.

“Please…don’t. I…I’ll give you more freedom okay. More money too…just…”

Why wasn’t this working for him. I had him under control for life…no not for life. Then he’d really lock me away, keeping me sedated for a long as possible. My body will adapt eventually to the drugs, but  then he’ll just rip out organs while I’m awake. I can see it behind the fear. The rage he has.

“Sorry my friend. I don’t think you have a better counteroffer.”

Then I closed my hand in a fist and instantly I saw blood come from his eyes and mouth and he just fell over to the side. I walked over to help the man with the knives get up and I dusted him off.

“Morticia, consider me under your protection and employ. I am going to ask for something right off the bat, if you don’t mind. I want a beer so bad I dream about them every night. Can we go get a drink somewhere? I’m not trying to hit on you but something tells me you are wonderful company.”

I offered her the crook of my arm so she could pull herself up to stand. I could see a whole range of emotions play across her face as she looked at the fallen hero just dead on the floor. I looked at him as well…oh I was giddy. I had suppressed myself so much that I couldn’t feel. Now just letting my emotions out I could feel so much power, I had so much control over so many politicians now.

“Or maybe I would like a better contract. I’d like to join the Shadow League. Seeing as now I have dirt on politicians, war lords, despots…so many people have a vital organ of mine in them. We’ll get so much money. Eventually they’ll all die but then we can burn that bridge when we come to it. Also we’ll need to workshop a name and costume for me. Who ever does yours I would love their number.”

Morticia just started to laugh at this completely improbably situation before her and she hoisted herself up using my elbow. She pulled me close just resting her other hand on my arm. She looked truly amused and happy with the outcome. The large woman patted me on the back smiling as well. I liked them already. These were my true heroes. My saviors that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to truly repay.

“I think…you’ll be a wonderful addition to the Shadow League. I think we are about to enter a new age of villainy, if I dare be so optimistic.”

The funny thing about villains. They don’t really want to do evil. They are beat and broken people rebelling against a system that hurt them. I will force change…and when I make them happy they’ll stop being ‘evil’. Most of them will anyway, some are just sick and twisted…and they’ll be put down. The reasonable ones though…gods I’m using evil to get so much good done in the world. A new age indeed.

“I think you should dare.” I offered her a smile. She had me floating at this point…this was so cool. GODS I can’t wait

You're a literal universal donor for a superpower, that even your organs are compatible. And right now, the villains have decided to hit the hospital.

[skybiie]

I really love how Smokescreen was written. He’s not just the cliche cocky guy that hyperbolizes his strength, when in reality he’s weak and can’t back up any of his flaunts. Smokescreen has his merits, he’s super agile and no wimp. You’ll never see him refusing a task because it seems too great (minus him refusing the prime status but he knew his limits so it’s admirable regardless). I love how his flaws aren’t written as him being a nobody/can’t pull his own weight unlike how he shows himself. Instead his flaws aren’t with his mentality. He clearly had training, and learned so much from Alpha Trion and all of the studying he did. It glorified the idea of fighting and war in his young head, and he yearned to get out on the field himself, not realizing the consequences were so, so real.

He’s not going in completely blind when he wakes up from stasis on earth. Smokescreen clearly handled the cons before team prime showed up, using what he’s learned. He lacks the experience, not the knowledge on how to fight.

Smokescreen’s upbeat, overly optimistic and even competitive view on the missions he’s sent on reasonably drive the veterans like Arcee, Bulkhead etc up a wall. He is so clearly shown (in my biased eyes) that he has good intentions, especially with him telling Arcee “there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you guys” in the midst of him getting scolded. He has the spark to do good, he just doesn’t know how to go about it.

I love how we see him progress in the series, down to small exchanges where he learns to read a room and understands he needs to be serious. It all isn’t a game, nor is it as glorified as those books he read. He’s learned that. And what’s even better? He doesn’t let it harden him. He definitely hasn’t seen anything compared to his superiors, but he’s had his fair share of near death/painful/scary/traumatizing encounters within his short time on the show, but he still retains his silliness, and puts it on a halt when need be. He’s one of the few in the show who’s graced with a full circle of development and I wish more characters got similar treatment. Butttt I am grateful because I love smokescreen and he deserves the development lol

Anyways he’s been on my mind sorry yall for the ramble

[brawnsleloenigmadoublesonic]

#cons mistaking bots for prostitutes. Oh you know everyone from Optimus's crew is walking out of this one pregnant. They might be mistaken as buymechs but they sure as hell aren't loaded up with birth control like they are.

If everyone somehow ends up earth like in the show and the bots don't want the cons to figure out they were conned (though is it really conning if everyone was satisfied in the end?) they're gonna be working so hard to come up with a story.

"What? We're not sparked. Have you connected to the human internet yet? Look up beer gut. We've been drinking nothing but oil over here. It's doing the same thing."

Wait as I was writing this I remembered Blackarachnia is on the Decepticon ship. She must be thinking Optimus has had the roughest time after being booted from the academy. Really not the career path she figured he'd go down, but she can't lie... he does seem made for it.

Poor things, if only Ratchet knew how to do abortions 😔

The beer gut thing only works for a little while before the cons start figuring shit out, but by then... Listen, it's almost impossible for a mech to even think about hurting another so clearly carrying! And one that could possibly be carrying their bitty? Well, it'd be stupid evolutionary wise for mechs to be willing to potentially harm their own progeny!

So, what do you do when you have a bunch of annoying, deceitful, attractive, and heavily pregnant autobots? You take them home! Keep this sneaky pretty things for wives, their poor bitties must be starving for more material! Especially if they really were only drinking oil, everyone knows that's bad for development, it's like the first thing anyone learns about carrying!

[suchine-toki]

Thoughts about gintsu in the Silver Soul arc

The other day I saw someone talk about how Sorachi neglected gintsu after the Love Potion arc so here's my two cents (spoilers ahead):

Short answer: Yesn't

Long answer:

The argument was that Sorachi just dropped the ball on Gintoki and Tsukuyo's relationship that he started writing since… her introduction. And I'm not gonna pretend that LP wasn't the last arc that gave them a ton of development. But I think we've to look at it within the series' context.

Love Potion was the 62th arc of Gintama, spanning chapters 492-496. It was the second to last arc before Shogun Assassination, that began in lesson 502. This meant that it was something Sorachi felt he'd to do before he reached the point of no return. In other words, before the end, he'd to develop the relationship between Gintoki and Tsukuyo and give them some sort of resolution.

Said resolution can be interpreted in two ways. Essentially, something could happen in the future, or nothing would ever happen between them. Nada. But that's not the point of this. OR IS IT??

After that, Sorachi had to address major plot points throughout the next three arcs. Gintoki and Takasugi's fight, the Shogun's death, the Shinsengumi disbanding, Utsuro's rise as the final villain, Kagura and Kamui's showdown, the reunion of the Joui 4...

All of these things were crucial to the plot, but took a long time to unfold. Finally, when Tsukuyo reappeared in Silver Soul arc, a lot of time had passed (lesson 620, over a hundred chapters later). And the first thing Sorachi chooses to do is to have her help Gintoki and make a sex joke. Ok, nothing new in this manga, I guess.

But what was surprising was this one heavy panel that people wouldn't stop talking about at the time, because it really left no room for interpretation. Yes, it was Hinowa who said it, but, again, this was written by someone, and that someone didn't intend this to be a light tease.

Sorachi had no need to do so if he'd already closed the door on future possibilities between them and we already knew she'd feelings for him. And yet, he dedicated several pages to showing the struggle she'd with leaving Yoshiwara to go help Gintoki and the rest of her friends in Kabukicho.

In LP she realized she was in love, but she still felt embarrassed and stupid because of it, and Kyuubei had to tell her hey, it's ok. Throughout the series, although Tsukuyo loves Gintoki, she often needed reasons to be with him. Sometimes it was because of her duty as Yoshiwara's guardian, sometimes because she's with her girl friends, sometimes even Hinowa created these reasons. But this chapter addresses how dumb it is. In LP arc, Gintoki was around just because.

In other words, at this point, Sorachi continued to develop their relationship, even after that arc. But did something else happen?

Well, after a while, when Gintoki was resting peacefully on his futon, Sorachi has Tsukuyo conveniently trip over a damn bottle containing alcohol right next to the guy, all during a dialogue explaining how in times of power outages and such, the population increases. So the joke here was that they would fuck and Gintoki would get her pregnant like heyooo? (ch. 628).

But that would be it? Their last moment being a high-caliber sex joke before the end of the manga?

The thing is... the manga didn't end there lol it lasted about 70 more chapters. Here Sorachi once again needed to address some loose plot ends before finishing the series that took priority, like Gintoki and Takasugi's bond and what would happen with Shouyo/Utsuro.

We might think that there're no loose ends between Gintoki and Tsukuyo anymore. We already know she's in love with him, so why bother?

HOWEVER Sorachi once again decided to hit us with something (and quite sappy this time, in a good way)...

When they meet again, there's a flashback in which Gintoki leaves and Hinowa asks Tsukuyo why she didn't follow him (ch. 686). She replies that she decided to stay because yes, she has a duty, but the main reason was to tell him what had happened in his absence... LITERALLY THERE WAS NO NEED FOR IT TO BE SO CHEESY, but then again Sorachi wanted us to know what Tsukuyo had gone through and he wanted Gintoki to hear it too.

This is another way to show how real and deep her love is and how she understands what Gintoki is going through on a fundamental level. Sorachi wanted to show how Tsukuyo knows that Gintoki needed to embark on his journey alone, otherwise he wouldn't have disbanded the Yorozuya. She knows that it's important to him that someone be there and update him on what has happened, so that he feels connected to everyone again. And Sorachi chose that someone to be Tsukuyo, making explicit how she's an anchor for Gintoki here.

This time it wasn't because she needed a big reason or because she felt stupid, it was her own decision, which is huuuge for her and what could happen.

So now that she knows for sure he's in Edo, she's going to help him with everyone else. There's also the idea of endings and new beginnings that Tsukuyo talks about, which could also apply to her dynamic with Gintoki, but that's a talk for another day.

The last thing to mention is when they're at the terminal and Sacchan teases Tsukuyo about the man she loves... You know, the woman who's been stalking Gintoki since the beginning... And it's really dumb, because everyone is saying these heartfelt lines, talking about how they want to reach him, how they want to help him... and Sorachi, instead of having Sacchan tell a dirty joke about herself, like she always does, has her say something about how Tsukuyo should fuck Gintoki, or vice versa, does it matter at this point? (ch. 699).

And it's not just a sex joke as before. Contrary to the sentiment expressed in lesson 620, here Tsukuyo intends to go on living and see Gintoki again, which is something said by herself.

From what I can tell, Sorachi wanted to keep giving their relationship some form of development right up until the end. Even after committing to an open ending, the fact that he kept their dynamic in mind, even with limited interactions, just to push it forward in some way is honestly kinda sweet, ngl.

Tsukuyo isn't a character Sorachi uses a lot, probably because she's not as available as the rest of the cast living in or near Kabukicho. And yet, almost every time she appears, he develops the bond that Gintoki has with her. You can tell that some scenes, heck, even some lines, are quite deliberate to be read romantically.

If anything, we could say that the real problem was that we didn't get much from Gintoki in the last stretch, which I think could be attributed to both the in-universe context of the series and the time constraints and difficulties Sorachi faced in finishing Gintama.

(Sorry this ended up being so much longer that I intended lol.)

TL;DR: It's not that he forgot, Sorachi just had bigger priorities. In any case, he still threw in scenes JUST to show how he didn't forget and develop their relationship a little more.

[potahun]

sob. thank you op for raising that...i have been thinking about this azusa and furuya exchange again since reading on the Q&A about the 'romantic pair he cannot yet talk about', which made me go 'ah, ok. amuazu a real likelihood if it's a thing that is likely to make waves'...

and yeah...if it really happens, then it means we have to live with them being an item while this exchange also happened. we have to live with GA making us believe furuya would end up with someone who knows him only superficially and has done to him what he's been struggling with all his childhood (and faces into adulthood as well) i don't know how much character distortion or super intense development it requires (how many years is he gonna use) for me to believe this is a credible and lovely romance...

i am guessing that, in the cultural context, what azusa does here is simply considered innocent and quite common. but nonetheless, it really is a blatant statement of "I don't know you beyond the superficial". and furuya's response is the equally superficial "^^" and light impersonal rebuking that amuro does, he's not trying to get her to know him either.

of course, it's all extrapolation whether the remaining romantic pairs rly do include amuazu. but there simply arent many mf pairs left, and we know GA loves his comphet even if it adds nothing to the plot or makes little sense (he introduced a character like chihaya who screams lesbian and even has a dear uni friend only to pair her up immediately with juugo). there are even less mf pairs that would make a fuss. like, what, yoko x kazami? jodie x camel? wouldnt even make a ripple. the only other pair i can think of would be akai x rumi...or an unknown pair with haibara... so if amuazu does become canon, i might have to at least start adhering to the belief that ZTT/movies are in a different parallel universe as the main timeline (even if movie-canon facts are also manga-canon). azusa and furuya would still know each only superficially, with azusa only knowing his amuro persona, but eh, at least this specific characterization of azusa would be out of the way.

i did see that the original tweet came from an amuazu shipper account, while it seems most of the other tweets about the Q&A phrase the answer to that question in a more neutral way. so i will wait a bit...but i also feel like it's a possible thing for GA, especially considering the latest chapters where he's been teasing the ship more and more (WHILE NOT MAKING IT ROMANTIC) he's also done some very weird narrative choices lately, introducing aoko's mum in MK and doing acrobatics to explain her absence, thereby completely messing up the perfectly logical narrative of nakamori being an overworked single dad. im worried he might go ahead and do something equally crazy for furuya, like introducing that he actually had a family all along! who's proud of him and raised him normally but he just cut ties because of his job or whatever! so he's never really been isolated! azusa was his childhood friend but she forgot! and oh! somehow, amuro is the real persona, let's forget about grumpy, high-strung furuya of ZTT, so amuazu can work as a wholesome pair because azusa knew the real him all along!

that's the type of thing that would disappoint me the most. like, yes, i would also be a bit heartbroken because i like hc-ing azusa and furuya as lesbian and gay respectively. i like their dynamics as co-workers who dont really want to know each other on a deeper level, but work well together. but beyond that, i mostly worry that GA has to distort their characters as we currently know them to make this pairing work, and that he will do it, because unfortunately, he HAS done narrative choices before that were not bound by logical narrative flow and were only made to serve a purpose that only he enjoys...

But really, that dialogue in ZTT Ch. 1 that Aoyama either wrote himself or signed off on is insane, especially when you compare how Rei’s mixed heritage is addressed in WPS by his friends:

vs. in ZTT:

The only way this makes sense to me is if it was meant to further emphasize how alone Rei is in the here and now. He has no one who sees him as himself anymore, and neither does he have anyone who’d get angry enough to defend him. He himself is used to this level of othering- it’s not even worth getting mad at anymore, even if he might spitefully overcompensate at home by cooking up a storm of food that actually suits his tastes. So he’ll never bite back against it himself.

I assume Aoyama was planning an am*azu endgame from before ZTT started, considering that early am*azu fantasy chapter. Why in the world wouldn’t he have instead written Azusa as an ally to Rei, in that case? She could’ve defended Rei against a casually discriminating background character, cementing her as a proper friend to Rei that he hasn’t had since he lost his last police academy buddy.

Instead, he chose to do the exact opposite.

[citrusandrottefruit]

Diagnosed with Hanahaki, a genetic autoimmune disease, as a child, Steve has learned to live with it. Along the way, he finds a family and falls in love with Eddie. He is never cured, but he lives.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Some thoughts on this

The conversation with Jonathan and Nancy couldn't be called easy, but it was manageable enough for Steve to do it at a time that wasn't even planned. Maybe it was the lack of planning that made it easier, maybe it was the practice he'd been getting over the last few weeks. 

Jonathan apologized profusely, for the pictures he'd taken in '83, for the punch, and for having gotten together with Nancy before she and Steve had actually broken up. Nancy was a little more complicated. Her apologies only came after a lot of pointing out, about all the times she hadn't noticed what was going on with Steve, and she ended up feeling so bad and guilty that Steve almost had to console her.

Luckily, Jonathan had the good sense to try to hold back their emotional response for later, and they both tried to act normally. The next time they met, it was impossible for Steve to help but notice how worn out they both looked, with even bigger bags under their eyes than usual. So, they had to talk a second time, just to make sure that no, Hanahaki didn't start because of either of them and with everything related to the Upside Down happening, they were far from having caused his health to worsen.

It was a lie, but there was no point in wanting them to blame each other after all this time, especially just because of Hanahaki. Steve wished things between the three of them had been simpler, but the illness had nothing to do with it. And after all, compared to everything that had happened, it wasn't that important.

In the midst of all this, he kept talking to Eddie. He shared the fact that his parents' marriage seemed to have improved after his mother was diagnosed and he had never been able to understand that.

He told her how his mother seemed like the protagonist of a dramatic movie, always suffering with such elegance. He remembered one week, when she was bedridden at home, he had to get up very early to get her makeup and help her brush her hair, even though a nurse would come in later and do exactly the same thing.

When he asked about it, his mother said, “I don’t want to be seen like that, Steve.” 

At the time, he didn’t understand, but he was happy to be of service. Months later, when he was diagnosed, he remembered that day and was even more confused, because it was so tiring just to exist, how could he care how shiny his hair looked? When his cheeks were flushed and his lips were soft? 

It took him years to realize why it felt so good to try to take care of his appearance when there was so little he could do for his own body. It was comforting.

But he didn’t share that memory with Eddie. Not yet. 

He just kept talking about his parents. About how Mrs. Harrington liked to have romantic dinners regularly and she had mentioned about ten honeymoons. It was one of her favorite topics of conversation, and she especially loved trying new hobbies or even sports during those trips. His father was okay with it, just so she would be happy.

“I don’t think she wanted to be a mother, just my father’s wife.”

“Absurd!” Eddie exclaimed, anger hidden under theatrics. He let go of the steering wheel for a moment before gripping it tightly, pulling the van into the center of the correct lane. That day, Steve had his monthly checkup and Eddie asked to accompany him, promising a movie afterwards, in a neighboring city. “How could anyone choose your father over you?”

And there it was, once again, Eddie’s ability to make the wounds that Steve hadn’t even mentioned hurt less.

“It’s just that she’s always been in love with him. When I was a kid, I thought it was the most romantic thing in the world. I even wanted to have the same thing.” He laughed thinking about the absurdity of it. “To love so much that even if that person made me feel so much pain, they would also make me very happy.” Steve sighed, serious again. “But I still want someone who would stay with me on a romantic night or sleep in an uncomfortable chair in the hospital.”

Before Eddie had time to say anything, he turned up the volume of the music.

A few hours later, he confessed that Mr. Harrington was that person to his mother, but not in the right way. Because he indulged in his illness almost like a hobby, very involved in it until he was not around Mrs. Harrington and something else caught his attention. 

Steve noticed this when his father called and informed him, very casually, that she was in the ICU. He would spend a fortune to make her live well, yet he seemed barely able to realize that her life was in danger.

A few days later, with the test results in hand and feeling stronger, he invited the kids over for a movie night at his apartment. Hopper offered to help tell them and was so worried that he decided to spend the night at a diner when Steve refused. Joyce, less extreme, promised to be just a phone call away. 

Jonathan and Nancy weren’t there, because they all figured the kids would be less upset if it wasn’t obvious that they were the last ones to find out. 

Guys.” Steve clapped his hands together, then put them on his hips, standing in front of the TV. “I have an announcement to make.” 

“Are you serious?” Mike yelled. “We’re here for the movies!” 

“Shut up, idiot.” 

“We’re here for the movies,” Dustin interjected into the fight that was already starting to form between Max and Mike. “But we’re going to listen to Steve.”

“You’d hear it anyway, you know, we have three adults here to keep you brats in check.” Robin stood next to Steve and began clapping her hands until everyone was quiet. “Steve.” 

Then she went to join Eddie, who was standing behind the kids, silent and watchful. 

It was good to have them both there, someone to look at without letting himself be consumed by terror.

“This has nothing to do with the Upside Down, but it’s very important, so I’ve already talked to Hopper and Joyce too and I don’t want you to get upset, okay? I’m going to talk to everyone about this in the way I thought would make this easier.”

At this point, no one seemed more scared than Max or Dustin. Even Mike, who was trying to keep his expression irritated, looked worried and was the only one who had the courage to speak up.

“Why make such a mystery? Just say it.”

“I’m sick. Hanahaki.”

There were no more movies for the rest of the night, just tears, screaming and hugs. Max barely left Steve’s side and Dustin kept checking his pulse, as if he couldn’t see with his own eyes that Steve was alive. They also had to explain Hanahaki to El and she was so upset that she joined Max. Lucas did too, after a few minutes. He and Will were the quietest, looking too shaken to know how to react.

Dustin got irritated and started talking nonstop about the health care system. Eddie, finding resonance in Dustin’s feelings, also started roasting the pharmaceutical industry.

They all slept together, huddled together, in the living room.

In the middle of the night, Mike, having the same thought as his sister, asked if Nancy had anything to do with it and after being assured that she didn't, Steve realized that he would once again need to educate the people he loved about how Hanahaki really worked and about his family.

When everyone finally left in the early evening of the next day, he only had a few hours before he realized that he would probably need to have a walkie-talkie on him at all times, because everyone wanted to make sure he was okay.

The next time he and Eddie were alone together, Steve continued to talk.

It was a little embarrassed that he confessed that, although he had always wanted his parents’ love, he was relieved by the huge distance between them, because he wouldn’t have to worry about being the cause of his mother’s downfall. Because he couldn’t even imagine what it was like to be so loved by someone who had a disease so influenced by emotions. It seemed terrifying.

“I must be very selfish.”

“For wanting to preserve yourself? Everyone wants that, it’s not selfish, it’s human.”

“I didn’t give you that option.”

Eddie grabbed Steve by the shoulders so they were face to face.

“You did. You practically put a warning sign on your forehead. We all chose to stay here. Because you’re part of our lives and we love you, Hanahaki isn’t going to change any of that.”

Careful with every move he made toward Steve, Eddie leaned in until he could put his head in the crook of Steve’s neck, for the first time in a long time looking like he was the one who needed comfort.

Steve couldn’t describe how happy he was that he could still provide that and tightened his arms around Eddie.

“If it were up to me, you know where we’d be right now. You’re the one being so careful about this, so I don’t regret it. Don’t ever insinuate that you’re selfish for allowing us to feel the joy of being in your life.”

Steve didn't know if he could ever stop feeling guilty, but he would try.

One afternoon, when Steve came home from his shift at Family Video, he found Eddie standing at his door, a folder full of papers in his hand. He didn’t say anything, just waited for Steve to come in and followed.

“I did some research,” he announced and waved the papers. “Dustin helped me a lot, because he’s much better at research than I am.”

And Eddie launched into a somewhat confusing monologue about how 4.4 out of every 500,000 people had the Hanahaki gene and only a few of them actually had a real chance of developing the disease, and even in those cases, environmental factors were very important. In conflict zones, for example, the chances of acute and fatal manifestations were up to 300% higher than in other patients. 5 to 10% of carriers would be lucky enough to only have mild symptoms even under periods of intense stress, but without proper treatment, even those people would be at very serious risk.

Almost all of Hanahaki’s patients who survive the first two years require at least one transplant at some point in their lives. He talked about the complications, the lacerations of internal organs, the blood clotting problems, the cirrhosis, the hypertension, the encephalopathy.

“Steve, I said I’d do my research, and I did. I’m not a smart guy, not that smart.” He held up a piece of paper at random. “I’ve never been interested in medicine, and I’ve never been good at science, so there are some things I may not have understood that well, but I’ve learned a lot. I’m not going into this blind. I know what the expectations are here, I’m a grown man and I can make my own decisions. And I want you. I’ve wanted you, somehow, since high school, I wanted you when I saw how the kids adored you, I wanted you when you came to me even though everyone thought I was a murderer. I wanted you when I saw you take off your shirt, when you jumped in the lake, when you fought the Demobats, when you walked with me through hell. When you pulled me out of there. I’ve wanted you constantly, all the time, for all these months.” He took a deep breath. “I want you. I love you.”

Steve knew that no matter how happy he was, there would always be things that would hurt him. He would always have scars on his lungs, roots tangled in his ribs, internal bleeding, shortness of breath, injuries… There would always be a million problems, one after the other. Maybe he only had a few years left.

But Eddie knew that too. He knew that sometimes he would need to take care of Steve, and that he would need to learn to control his anger better, that he would always have to be careful when he communicated a problem, that he would need to offer reassurance and remind Steve that he was loved. He knew it would be hard. He knew the risk of coming out of this with a broken heart.

Even knowing the potential disaster, Steve kissed Eddie knowing it would be worth it.

[slfcare]

the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.

[lususnatura]

OOH... i might have just come up with a new plot-line for blamore, and it is kind of diabolical, NGL 👀

[odetolovers]

it is absolutely wild the way i’ve allowed people to treat me

[britneyshakespeare]

unfortunately it is not the time to be normal. it is time for me to watch richard iii (1983) directed by jane howell for the third time in six months.

[xecat]

really vivid and specific dream that i swear ive dreamt in the same universe before .. and now i really want to get into making diorama models or lego stuff which is impossible and expensive as hell

[teaboot]

On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.

[physalian]

How To Make Your Writing Less Stiff 5

Movement

Dredging this back up from way back.

Make sure your characters move, but not too much during heavy dialogue scenes. E.g. two characters sitting and talking—do humans just stare at each other with their arms lifeless and bodies utterly motionless during conversation? No? Then neither should your characters. Make them…

Gesture

Wave

Frown

Laugh

Cross their legs/their arms

Shift around to get comfortable

Pound the table

Roll their eyes

Point

Shrug

Touch their face/their hair

Wring their hands

Pick at their nails

Yawn

Stretch

Sniff/sniffle

Tap their fingers/drum

Bounce their feet

Doodle

Fiddle with buttons or jewelry

Scratch an itch

Touch their weapons/gadgets/phones

Check the time

Get up and sit back down

Move from chair to tabletop

The list goes on.

Bonus points if these are tics that serve to develop your character, like a nervous fiddler, or if one moves a lot and the other doesn’t—what does that say about the both of them? This is where “show don’t tell” really comes into play.

As in, you could say “he’s nervous” or you could show, “He fidgets, constantly glancing at the clock as sweat beads at his temples.”

This site is full of discourse on telling vs showing so I’ll leave it at that.

Epithets

In the Sci-fi WIP that shall never see the light of day, I had a flashback arc for one male character and his relationship with another male character. On top of that, the flashback character was a nameless narrator for Reasons.

Enter the problem: How would you keep track of two male characters, one who you can't name, and the other who does have a name, but you can’t oversaturate the narrative with it? I did a few things.

Nameless Narrator (written in 3rd person limited POV) was the only narrator for the flashback arc. I never switched to the boyfriend’s POV.

Boyfriend had only a couple epithets that could only apply to him, and halfway through their relationship, NN went from describing him as “the other prisoner” to “his cellmate” to “his partner” (which was also a double entendre). NN also switched from using BF’s full name to a nickname both in narration and dialogue.

BF had a title for NN that he used exclusively in dialogue, since BF couldn’t use his given name and NN hadn’t picked a new one for himself.

Every time the subject of the narrative switched, I started a new paragraph so “he” never described either character ambiguously mid-paragraph.

Is this an extreme example? Absolutely, but I pulled it off according to my betas.

The point of all this is this: Epithets shouldn’t just exist to substitute an overused name. Epithets de-personalize the subject if you use them incorrectly. If your narrator is thinking of their lover and describing that person without their name, then the trait they pick to focus on should be something equally important to them. In contrast, if you want to drive home how little a narrator thinks of somebody, using depersonalizing epithets helps sell that disrespect.

Fanfic tends to be the most egregious with soulless epithets like "the black-haired boy" that tell the reader absolutely nothing about how the narrator feels about that black-haired boy, espeically if they're doing so during a highly-emotional moment.

As in, NN and BF had one implied sex scene. Had I said “the other prisoner” that would have completely ruined the mood. He’s so much more than “the other prisoner” at that point in the story. “His partner,” since they were both a combat team and romantically involved, encompassed their entire relationship.

The epithet also changed depending on what mood or how hopeless NN saw their situation. He’d wax and wane over how close he believed them to be for Reasons. NN was a very reserved character who kept BF at a distance, afraid to go “all in” because he knew there was a high chance of BF not surviving this campaign. So NN never used “his lover”.

All to say, epithets carried the subtext of that flashback arc, when I had a character who would not talk about his feelings. I could show you the progression of their relationship through how the epithets changed.

I could show you whenever NN was being a big fat liar about his feelings when he said he's not in love, but his narration gave him away. I could show you the exact moment their relationship shifted from comrades to something more when NN switched mid-paragraph from "his cellmate" to "his partner" and when he took up BF's nickame exclusively in the same scene.

I do the same thing in Eternal Night when Elias, my protagonist, stops referring to Dorian as "it" and "the vampire" instead of his name the moment they collide with a much more dangerous vampire, so jarringly that Elias notices in his own narration—the point of it being so explicit is that this degredation isn't automatic, it's something he has to conciously do, when everyone else in his clan wouldn't think twice about dehumanizing them.

—

Any literary device should be used with intent if you want those layers in your work. The curtains are rarely just blue. Whether it’s a simile with a deliberate comparison or an epithet with deliberate connotations, your readers will pick up on the subtext, I promise.

[freyaphoria]

Hello! Since I can't save the writings in my drafts and your request is currently stuck in my drafts, I have to post it this way. I hope you can see your request T_T By the way, I wrote this 4 times, and the universe prevented me from writing it. Normally it was over 2k words, but most of it was deleted and I forgot what I wrote. Anyway, Love u!♡

Look Like a Freak

tw: nerd!Seonghwa x fem!reader, oral(giving mentioned, receiving), squirting, slapping, fingering, vibrator using, degradation, bondage, overstimulation

wc: 1.5k

taglist: @aim-blossom @matzrionette

“Seonghwa, are we really going to do it here?” It was too late to ask now. He made an approving noise as he abused your pussy between. To your surprise, he could hear you and respond. Normally, after tasting you, Seonghwa would be pussy drunk and wouldn't hear or see anything.

Seonghwa's room was the most virginity room you've ever seen. There were more Star Wars figures and Legos than you could count. And what is it? On the top shelf of the display case, on top of the Star Wars legos, there were colorful house legos and animals next to them, which you might think were related to animal crossing which might attract the attention of 5-year-old children.

You and Seonghwa went to the same university and met at the dance club. When you first met him, he was very quiet, buried in his book with a book by an unknown author in his hand and he was wearing the metal-framed glasses he was currently wearing, not communicating with anyone. Even though most people avoided communicating with him, you felt his potential in his eyes under those big glasses. You had initiated the first communication and asked him something about the star wars lego keychain hanging on his bag, and before you knew how the things had developed, he had pulled you into the back storage and made out with you. After a while, you started fucking after every dance lesson and became addicted to each other. You were nothing but a fuck buddy, but you'd still meet up at his house every once in a while to build Legos together like cute couple, and as you can imagine, your night would end up in his bed, trying to recover, with his cum dripping down between your legs.

Same thing today, you met at his house to play his favorite game, the two of you lying in bed while Seonghwa was playing Animal Crossing on his Nintendo. But you had made him horny without knowing why, and Seonghwa stopped his game, which was an unexpected move from him, and started eating you. Animal Crossing, where you played with Seonghwa, was still on on the TV and calm music was playing.

"Can you at least turn off that game? It's ruining the whole mood-" You were cut off by Seonghwa shoving your panties into your mouth. "Don't tire that beautiful mouth of yours by talking, you will be tired enough when I put my dick down your throat."

Who would believe that someone as nerdy as him could make you this wet? If you told your friends who knew him, they would all think you went crazy. But right now, you were in his bed with your legs wide open and you were dripping, Animal Crossing in front of you, Star Wars figures next to you, and a nerd Seonghwa losing himself between your legs.

When Seonghwa started using his fingers as well, you realized you wouldn't last long. He was eating you out and fingering you so professionally that you were seeing stars every time, your legs shaking uncontrollably and squirting on him. And so it was, the moment you felt his fingers inside you, curls them up and abusing your sweet spot while his tongue stimulates your clitoris, you couldn't hold back that ball that was growing in your belly any longer and you came into his mouth. Your voice came out as a muffled moan through your underwear in your mouth. "Oh but I couldn't hear you clearly, looks like we're going to do it again." He pulled the fabric from your mouth and kissed you hungryly. Since he still didn't remove his fingers from you, you continued to spasm uncontrollably around his fingers and began to squirm from the overstimulation.

"What is that? You got tired a little early for a slut like you. Open your legs." As you tried to close your legs, Seonghwa forced them open. When you closed them again, you were startled by the sound of him slapping your thigh hard. "You want to be a brat? Okay then." He let go of your legs and headed towards his desk. He opened his drawer, took the rope next to a lot of Animal crossing cards, closed the drawer hard and turned towards you. You held back your laughter when you saw the colored cards. He adjusted the thin metal-framed glasses that fell on the tip of his nose, found the end of the rope and started wrapping it around your wrists.

"Hwa, I'm getting rope burns, haven't you found that furry handcuff yet?" He tied the rope tightly around your wrists, he bent your leg towards you and brought your ankle closer to your hands and tied the rest of it to your ankles. "No I couldn't. And if you stop squirming, you won't get a burn." After tying your other side in the same way, he checked its strength and made sure that it was not loose. He looked at you, his masterpiece, from head to toe, then he spanked your pussy that you had forced open and exposed for him, and he moved towards your upper body. You let out a small scream at the sudden feeling of pain. He tied your upper body by looping the rope around your chest and tying it over your arm; so it stabilized your arms and prevented you from closing your legs.

"Now, what should we do with you?" You felt even wetter with the feeling of being restricted and having all your control in his hands. The feeling of emptiness inside you was becoming unbearable and if he didn't fuck you soon, you would start crying and whining from frustration. "Just fuck me already."

The left side of his mouth lifted up and laughed slyly. A deep chuckle escaped his throat. "No no, I won't give you what you want that easily." This time, he opened the drawer where he kept your toys under the previous drawer and took out the pink vibrator with remote control. When you think about what he did to you with it, your heart starts to lose its rhythm and the adrenaline in your body begins to tickle your pussy waiting to be filled. The vibrator that he play with you for hours and eventually makes you squirm from overstimulation and cry and beg him to stop...

"How about this? No coming until I finish my new lego set. If you come, I won't fuck you tonight. Understood?" "Wait, at least let me suck you." He moved the toy in his hand over your folds before inserting it inside you, collecting your wetness on the toy. "Are you that much of a cock slave? Is there a day you don't spend without sucking me? Can't that little belly of yours do without taking my cum?" Your face turned red because of his dirty words. Yes, there wasn't a day without sucking him, but there wasn't a day without him eating you either. You were considered equal in every way. After all, you were a fuck buddy and that was your purpose. "Please just let me take you in my mouth" He balled up the panties he had just taken out of your mouth and put it back into your mouth. "Just deal with it for now. You can do it, right? It shouldn't be too hard."

After laughing sarcastically, he moved the vibrator over your folds for the last time and put it inside you. You gasped at the sudden feeling of being filled. The fact that you didn't know when Seonghwa would start the toy and when he would stop it made you nervous and excited. After licking his fingers, which got wet because he inserted the vibrator inside you, and tasting you again, got up from you and took the lego bag next to his wardrobe and placed it on his desk. "Which one do you think I should do?" He took out the Lego sets one by one from the paper bag and showed them all to you. The hilarity of your current situation and the Animal Crossing music playing in the background almost made you laugh. You were thankful for the fabric over your mouth that prevented you from laughing.

"Oh that's it!" He took out the 1394-piece Ghost & Phantom II set from the bag and placed it on the table. When he took the remote control of the vibrator and started to turn it on at medium level, you first lost your breath and started to squirm in your place. But he tied the ropes so tightly that you couldn't move much.

"Remember, no coming until I finish this set." He opened the box and placed the contents on the table, looking at you who began to tremble slightly. “You look like a slut.” And you look like a freak you thought.

[wonderthor]

your neighbor sukuna who lives in one of the apartments upstairs may be a rough and dangerous man, but he’s funny and nice to you, so you become friends anyway. you even develop a little crush on him, and when he calls you little pet names like sweetheart and doll, you start to think he might like you too. one night you decide to go out for drinks, and as he drinks more he lets out more about his past and you learn he is a little more dangerous than you thought. he talks about how he broke into people’s houses at night all the time to steal their things and when he finally did get caught and locked up, he had probably broke into over 200 people’s houses by then.

“that’s crazy, but you wouldn’t get that lucky with me though”

he sets his beer down, raising his eyebrow at you in question.

“what do you mean?”

“i mean that im a very light sleeper, always have been. and there’s no way you couldn’t break into my apartment without me knowing it.”

he picks his beer back up and takes a swig before looking back at you with a smirk.

“you sure about that?”

you confidentially smirk back at him.

“oh absolutely. i get woken up if the wind blows a little too hard against the window. i even woke up that one time i had a mouse in my apartment and i could hear it scurrying across the floor. i would definitely hear you open my door and walk around.”

sukuna taps his fingers against the bar counter with his head in his hands and his eyes still on you, thinking.

“how about we make a bet.”

“a bet? on what?”

“if i can get into your locked apartment and into your bedroom without waking you up, i win. if i do, you win.”

“and what do i get when i win?”

sukuna chuckles at that, almost like a villain’s laugh.

“i wouldn’t worry too much about that.”

you roll your eyes at him.

“oh please, you sound way to confident in your impossible chance at winning.”

he laughs at you again.

“i am. there’s a reason i was able to break in so many people’s houses while they were still in there without getting caught. it’s kind of my specialty.”

you take another sip of your drink and lean back.

“your specialty, huh? and you still haven’t mentioned what we get if we win.”

“what do you want?”

his tone caught you off guard for a second, getting deeper and more serious without you expecting it.

“u-um, i don’t know. you can pick.”

he smiles at you again, a devious smile this time as he leans in closer to you.

“if i win, i get to do whatever i want to you. if you win, you get to do whatever you want to me.”

time stops for a minute and you don’t realize that you’re just staring at him until after several seconds.

“what do you m-mean by that?”

he leans back to hold his beer and his playful demeanor is back.

“well according to you, you won’t have to worry about that, right?”

a couple of days went by and you were still on edge. you mentally slept with your eyes open and even kept your bedroom door cracked, just in case you really couldn’t hear him come in. even though you knew it was just a bet and a silly little game, you couldn’t stop your heart from pounding against your chest. maybe because you still didn’t really know what he said meant. and there was also the eerie feeling that you were essentially waiting for him to break into your apartment, like a real robber. like the robber he used to be. and even though you knew he wasn’t dangerous to you and wouldn’t hurt you, you were still admittedly a little scared. you truly didn’t know what to expect.

it had been a couple of weeks now and you were sure sukuna was fucking with you. whenever you saw him in passing, he was his normal playful and flirty self, and mentioning nothing of the bet. you were starting to think he was kidding, just making that up to scare you and mess with you. or you also thought he could have just forgotten, since he was drinking a little and couldn’t have forgotten all about it.

but little did you know that you were playing right into his hands. he was waiting on you to lose your edge, to slowly get comfortable enough again to slip into deep and dream-filled sleeps. that’s why you didn’t expect it, why you didn’t expect to lose.

when you woke up one night, you felt your heart fall out of your body and your eyes almost jump from their sockets. there he was, in your apartment, in your bedroom, on your bed, leaning over you on his hands and knees. when he saw that you were awake and too stunned to speak, he smirked and leaned in closer to you until his face was just inches from yours.

“guess i win, sweetheart.”