#nothing is the same rn so it doesn’t feel right being here atm

[katanaski-main]

Putting myself back together again, I’ll be back here when I’m ready

[sluttywonwoo]

Pls share your filthiest thoughts/fantasies/.... ab each member (or like a few) you have atm cause Im going feral

omggg i love this idea ok here’s some i have currently

somno cw*

seungcheol: being on top of him, but he’s still fucking you because he’s just that strong and it’s like nothing to him

jeonghan: either him teasing you or you teasing him until he drags you to the bathroom and fucks you against the stall door loud enough for other ppl to hear

joshua: ohhhh my god i can’t even decide but i’d really want lazy sex from the side while spooning in bed. joshua just whispering soft praises in your ear as he splits you open on his cock… omg

jun: making him beg to eat you out in a lil maid outfit!! he’s so hard that you can see the outline of his cock through his skirt but he won’t even want to touch himself until he’s made you cum with his tongue at least once.

soonyoung: fucking in the dance studio after practice. he’s got so much adrenaline from rehearsal and he knows how turned on you get when you watch him dance so he pounces on you as soon as the other guys leave and takes you right there on the floor

wonwoo: kinda cliche, but cockwarming him while he ‘ignores’ you. if you try to move he just makes you sit on it for longer until he eventually gives you what you want and edges you until you’re crying

jihoon: spending the morning in bed together… he wakes up hard and wants you to need him just as bad so he wakes you up by softly playing with your clit over your panties until you’re soaking through them and whimpering his name before finally waking up.

seokmin: edging you with his fingers because you got nervous to sit on his face when he asked you to. so he fingers you until you’re about to cum over and over again but doesn’t let you actually finish until you finally agree to sit on his face

mingyu: riding his thigh in the back of some club where no one’s paying attention or cares what’s going on. you still feel so dirty, even though there are much worse things happening in the same room… but the texture of mingyu’s jeans against your clit feels too good to stop. and he’s so hard in his pants and giving you that look— the one where his eyes are half closed and his mouth is hanging open… you’re definitely going to cum on his lap right there in the club… unless he snaps out of it and gets you somewhere private first.

minghao: teasing each other to see who breaks first. whoever is the first to make a sound/moan gets to dom the other for the night and minghao is very competitive 

seungkwan: hard!dom kwannie makes my brain short circuit :’) just thinking about him being bossy and choking you with those pretty hands of his ??? letting him use you like a fuck toy until you’re overstimulated and he’s collapsing on top of you after cumming??

vernon: edging vernon until he’s begging you to let him cum. you promise to let him fuck you if he can hold out, but you secretly want to push him too far until he cums all over himself and gets all noisy and whiny before apologizing profusely and asking to make it up to you (you of course reveal that it was your plan to make him disobey you all along because you’re not that mean, but it is fun to watch your boyfriend get all submissive for you)

chan: car sex with chan just sounds top tier rn. fumbling around in the backseat, watching him unzip his jeans to pull his dick out with his hair falling into his eyes and his muscles bulging out of his shirt… yeah

[felikatze]

Just wanted to say thank you so much for all the brainworms you have been giving me and my friends for the past few hours about Ayin and all the analyses you've been doing about him.

I have been losing my mind in the middle of the night thinking about all the things you've said, turning it over like crazy and trying to compare it with the gameplay I've had of Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina.

Please do more analysis and share more of your ideas! Please? Please, with cherry on top? Please, I beg of you?

Especially if you have in-depth ideas of analyses for the Sephirah and how it relates to both their own characters and Ayin and Angela.

I thank you greatly in advance!

the implication that i've infected an entire friend group with my brainworms is power that will 100% go to my head i feel amazing. what else is analysis posting except trying to inflict people with the same thoughts bouncing around your skull on repeat

i DO have shit on the sephirah but mostly netzach, because i love netzach, and i in fact found my discord ramble about him (and chesed)

i dont have things on how they relate to A and Angela specifically because I mainly kept thinking abt Reverbaration Ensemble parallels... i have so many thoughs abt Netzach and Bremen.

(but if you want me to talk about, say, a specific core supression, or floor realization... i have a lot of thoughts on floor realizations.)

First off I am so sorry that you seem to think I'm smart because that means i have the perfect opportunity to inflict you with this

okay now we can get to the serious stuff

[transcript:

containment breach:

quick ramble abt lor again but i love the ensemble receptions so much. i'm at chesed's rn, and i know he's been chill the entire game, but him just refusing to comment on jae-hoon's tragedy seems, out of context, a dick move, but also is so important for chesed to do? he recognizes that another's suffering is not related to him, that he can't do anything about it, and that this is fine. The closest i'd describe chesed in lobcorp would be "activist burnout." Due to betraying the lab from garion's pressure, chesed was so consumed by guilt, he just blamed himself for everything and became more callous because it's already his fault, right? There's nothing he can do. But in lor, he knows what his responsibilities are, and allows himself joy where he can find it. I love the ensemble receptions bcuz they are just examplary of each patron libriarian's growth and i iqbfjc (sobs)

GOD this sure is a paragraph

also have to salute netzach for carrying his scene all by himself as the musicians of bremen just (animal noises) :pray:

ykno being online i realize that i'm not quiet at all i am a complete and utter chatterbox /end]

[transcript:

containment breach:

thinking abt netzach's scene where he doesn't talk to bremen, because he can't, but recognizes this who has not only lost themself in their own art but also their own suffering

i just i love netzach so much his entire character arc is abt learning to live with depression and learning to want to live again

so he becomes unable to understand, really, why someone would sacrifice themselves for their own art

when he started out just, similar yet different from bremen, completely submerged in his own misery

musicians of bremen reminds me i still have bremen bon bons at home i should eat those. they r tasty /end]

i wanna specifically dig into this scene more because i love that scene, a lot.

Art as we get to know it in the City is irrevocably tied to violence. Puppets are made of human bodies, music is played on bones and sinews. To the artists of the City, to create art is to make someone suffer. Rewatching Netzach's story bits, Roland describes it as doing nothing but seeking stimulation and being provocative.

Furthermore, there is a direct comparison between art and alcohol. To paraphrase more, the Pianist must've been one hell of a stimulant, like getting hit by a strong booze. A performance some are still hungover from.

Netzach's main struggle was addiction because of depression, and his growing appreciation for art is a continuation of that arc. He says himself that art and alcohol are linked.

However, alcohol is a step down from hard drugs. Netzach hasn't quit, but just that step down shows he learned moderation, which makes me very proud of him.

Moderation is what the other.. let's just call them artists, lack. I said in the screencaps above, initially, Netzach was lost in his own suffering, and the musicians of bremen are lost in their art. And if art is seen as equal to suffering, that just means Netzach and Bremen are more similar than expected. (Especially considering what we see of the musicians previously; they’re always trying to chase the same high they experienced listening to the Pianist by any means necessary. The addiction parallels are not suprising.)

I rewatched most of Netzach's lor scenes, and what rlly gets me is that in his first one, he seems almost the exact same as in lobcorp. He doesn't want to work, he got dragged into this against his will, he feels as if his accomplishments are futile.

But! He eventually invites Roland for drinks. He's not drinking to forget alone anymore, he's doing it as social activity. Furthermore, the more time he spends as Patron Librarian of Arts, the more he grows to appreciate art. Art is tied to suffering, still, but it is an expression of suffering. It does not produce any. Or should not, in any case. He sure wishes it wouldn’t.

So we arrive at his Ensemble Reception. This one makes a rather interesting comparison: art as the pursuit of the light. Let me elaborate.

To quote, “Honestly, I wanna tell people to stop doing the kind of art that requires ‘em to immolate themselves and others. Although, on the other hand... I can kinda see where they’re coming from. Art narrows your vision, after all.

You stop caring about the things around you. That’s how most artists seem to act, I think. And so, you indulge in the craft, not realizing that you’re throwing yourself and your surroundings into the fire you started.”

I pose this: Netzach speaks of his experience as Giovanni. Giovanni was a researcher who, when push came to shove, willingly sacrificed himself to advance the project, in hopes of seeing the light, seeing Carmen, again.

Though he dislikes Bremen’s actions, he does not judge them for it, because he recognized that it would be hypocritical. Even so, what shows that he’s grown is that he.. doesn’t want to see people harm themselves anymore. The focus here isn’t if Bremen hurt other people, which they have, but how much of themselves they’ve given up for their performance. He condemns the act, and not the people.

“If I can see that light once more... If I have to muster up the courage to reach it, I’ll gladly do it. It’s easier said than done, though; you need a lot of fearlessness for it.

And I guess you saw the same kind of light I was so desperate to see, yeah? Even if yours was a twisted creature... [...] Though, I don’t think I can tell you off like the others. At least I can see the reason behind it.”

He even explicitly mentions the light. The funny thing is, both Giovanni and Bremen tried to reach the Seed of Light, and Carmen. It’s tragically hilarious that we know Carmen is the voice the Distortions hear.

Hell, the more I think about it, the more you can just compare the Ensemble as a whole to the Outskirts Lab crew, down to Angelica’s puppet body and Carmen’s desecrated corpse.

“And I know pretty well that we have no right to devilishly pick apart each other’s way of art. I’m not very proud of mine, really...”

Netzach just.. gets it. I can’t remember atm, but I don’t think the other Patron Librarians really draw parallels like that. I’m seeing all the parallels now and I can’t unsee them ever. Bro.

His “art,” his way of protecting the light, is still violent. But he sees that perhaps it didn’t have to be, or rather shouldn’t be. I fucking love Netzach so much. His arc just means a lot to me personally, and I’d wager a lot of people who’ve struggled with mental illness would agree.

I’m not gonna get into Netzach’s floor realization here because this post is already long enough, but like, look at the specific flashback of Angela shown in Netzach’s story bits and contrast it to his arc of learning to want to live, and. Yeah.

[azucanela]

Okay so i'm feeling pretty bad atm because my best friend replaced me and i need some fluffy rn. How about hcs for the reader being coldly abandoned by their previous best friend. Believing she is alone, she falls to her knees and cries outside in the middle of the rain. A moment later, she glances over to see Bakugou, Kirishima and Shinsou behind them trying their best to cover her from the rain with their jacket. Thank you♡

COMFORTING YOU AFTER A FRIENDSHIP ENDS HEADCANNONS + SCENARIOS

[ft. bakugo katuski, kirishima ejirou, shinsou hitoshi]

SUMMARY: In which you are abandoned by your closest friend and are found by the boys. 

WORD COUNT: 2.7k

WARNINGS: mentions of murder, mean friends, me being violent, y/n has those main character moments in the rain its nice, 

A/N: bb im so sorry that they did that,,, please know that im here if you need anything and i will fight this person :D with your permission of course.

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

your so called friend ended up ditching you

im going to throw hands literally 

you end up leaving the café you have been waiting for her in, near tears, and as if it can’t get any worse, you have no ride home, so naturally, you are now walking whilst trying to keep from crying

you’re about half a mile from UA, the hill is visible in the distance and you are very relieved because you just wanna cry in your bed

then it starts to rain

so yeah it did get worse

out of frustration and the built up sadness, you just kinda start crying, coming to a stop and falling to a seat at the side of the road

you felt so alone, the one person you thought would always be around he replaced you

clearly they didn’t feel the same

meanwhile, katuski is running with his jacket above his head, cursing out the skies

and then he spots someone crying in the rain, he initially thinks nothing of it, until he realizes its you

the girl who he “begrudgingly” helped study on weekends, the one who he was up until 2AM with, even though he slept like a grandpa

now he’s cursing for a different reason, he comes over to you

he is gonna wanna kill someone when he finds out and tbh you should let him but thats just me

in the past, people have abandoned him due to his personality, and though it hurt in the moment, he got over it pretty quickly 

and tbh, most of the time he had a little squad of jerks following him around so he didn’t really care abt anyone else.

Staring at the text she’d just recieved, Y/N let out a shaky breath, trying to compose herself. Her so called best friend wasn’t coming, and would never be coming again. Apparently she had better things to do than hangout with some wannabe hero. Blinking away the tears, Y/N stood making her way to the exit of the shop, she stepped outside. 

She was beginning to regret ever leaving the UA campus, because at this point she’d much rather be crying in bed rather than in public. Y/N was suddenly grateful that the café was relatively close as she speedily walked down the sidewalk.

The one person she thought would be there for her through everything, through all the pain and joy and anything in between, was gone. Great. 

At least it couldn’t get worse than this, she decided as she saw the UA Campus in the distance, relief flooding her as her pace quickened. 

Then she saw lightning in the distance, thunder rattling in the sky, Y/N couldn’t help but wince. As water began to poor over her she paused her steps, exhaling deeply as she looked up at the sky. 

Then the tears began to fall, a hand coming to her mouth to quiet the sobs escaping her as she fell to the ground, seating herself at the side of the road, Y/N felt her body shake as she tried to force herself to even out her breathing.

Meanwhile, Katsuki was cursing out the skies, he’ been on his way back from visiting his parents when it began to pour. Immediately bringing his jacket over his body to try and shield himself from the brunt of the rain as he ran through the now empty streets. Save for one shaking person on the side of the road, causing him to raise a brow at, it was pouring rain and they were just sitting there?

He slowed temporarily to try and get a better understanding of what was going on, only to realize he recognized the person. Y/N. His classmate, the one he begrudgingly tutored on the weekend, the one he cursed out when she forgot to eat, the one who kept him up until 2AM even though his bedtime was normally 9PM.

Katsuki grimaced, coming up behind her with his jacket overhead to try and shield her from the rain as he spoke, “what the hell are you doing out right now? You’re gonna get sick.” 

Y/N jumped at the sudden voice behind her, though she knew it was Katsuki, she turned to see he was holding his jacket over the two of them, the red of her eyes a dead giveaway that she’d been crying. She couldn’t bring herself to speak as she looked up at him in shock. What was he doing here?

Katsuki’s face fell as his eyes scanned her for injuries, “who did this to you?” He wasn’t the best when it came to comfort, and he feared that would show as he began to interrogate her. 

Blinking Y/N realized what she must’ve looked like, trying to shake off the feelings she was experiencing she spoke, “we should go.” Wiping the water from her face, she moved to stand, and Katuski moved with her, his eyes still on her face. 

“Hold this side of the jacket.” He ordered, and she did as she was told, bringing one hand up to the left side of the jacket, which was now soaked in water and doing little to help. This action provided Katsuki with a freehand to put on the small of her back and push her forward rather aggressively. He lead them to a small grocery store on the street, pushing the door open. 

They were dripping wet, and looking up at Katsuki, who had returned to interrogating her, Y/N couldn’t help it when more tears leaked out of her eyes and she lunged forwards to tackle him in a hug.

He quickly shut up, body stiffening momentarily before he allowed his hands to wrap around her waist and return the hug. “Thank you,” she mumbled, burying her head in his chest.

Brows furrowed, Katsuki scoffed, “yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He turned to the view the rest of the store, “pick out some food, I’ll cook you something when we get back.”

Looking up at him, her mouth gaped open, “are you serious?”

“Did I stutter, you idiot?”

kirishima ejirou 

okay so

kirishima definitely is gonna hound you with questions when he finds you crying

like he cannot allow his bb to cry

not that you know you are his bb but like

it would be unmanly of him to just leave you in such a state so he does his best to comfort you.

has likely never experienced something like this so he can’t really empathize with you but he’ll try

basically tries to make you smile and laugh the entire time you are upset

contemplates talking to the girls for help, but he doesn’t know if you want others involved

instead texts them how girls like to be treated when sad but in a very vague way and tries to pass it off as some obscure tik tok trend

they go along with it, thankfully, mina has a major obsesssion though so shes upset she didn’t know about this trend

thats how kirishima accidentally started a tik tok trend

will respectfully commit a murder

respectfully

i’ll help

least likely to acc go through with murder tho

he’s going to try his best

also goes the food route, based off his studies via the “tik tok trend” and he will gladly hold you

Exiting the convenience store with a plastic bag of candy in hand, Kirishima sighed. He’d been out longer than anticipated, and it was already getting dark. The grey clouds above signaling the possibility of rain, Kirishima grimaced, he needed to get back to UA quickly.

He’d intended to have a movie night with the rest of the Bakusquad that night, and maybe even invite Y/N. He’d been trying to work up the courage to finally ask her out, but it hadn’t been going well. He didn’t feel very manly each time he chickened out, and Kaminari’s teasing didn’t help at all, escaping him was the main reason Kirishima agreed to pick up the candy that day. 

Sighing, Kirishima continued to walk, though the rain came faster, pouring down onto him as he groaned in annoyance, hoping that it wouldn’t damage his snacks as he pulled his jacket off to provide himself with some cover. Though it wasn’t very helpful, it was better than nothing. 

He begins to speed up, jogging slightly when he notices someone on the curb, seated. Kirishima frowns, moving behind them and bringing his jacket over them, “hey, what are you doing?” Considering how much it was raining now, and the sound of the thunder overhead, he figured the storm that was coming would only get worse. Being outside was the worst idea. And as a hero in training, he simply couldn’t allow this action. 

The mysterious person turns around, and Kirishima suddenly realizes its his classmate, his frown only deepening when he sees her swollen eyes. “Kirishima? She says, confusion clear in her tone as she looks up at him, eyes wide. They knew each other fairly well, though he could be shy at times, he was fun, and nice. And of course, rather respectful during all their interactions, she liked him. 

Kirishima pauses before finding himself sitting beside her in the pouring rain and allowing the water to hit him as he lowered his jacket, pulling a candy bar from his bag. “What’s wrong?” He asked, extending the candy to her. Though it would likely react poorly should she open it and the candy came in contact with the rain, it was the thought that counted.

Y/N’s mouth gaped open as she smiled sadly at him, taking the candy bar from him, “thank you.” She whispered, “it doesn’t really matter anymore, though.” She looks up at the sky, water cascading down her face as she inahles deeply.

Suddenly, Kirishima’s hand is in hers, “it’s bothering you, so obviously it matters.” He tugs her hand to get her to stand up alongside him, “and it wouldn’t be very manly of me to leave a pretty lady out in the rain.” 

A laugh escaped Y/N at this, “and I could never force a handsome man like yourself to stay out in rain.” Comes her reply, “let’s go.”

She wasn’t alone. Not while she had him.

shinsou hitoshi

WELL

definitely the best at comforting someone especially with something like this

feeds you sweets because food makes everything better, will be affectionate just for this instance because he knows you just want some love during this time

the best to talk to about it tbh, he’s very good at giving advice and listening to your problems

i feel like shinsou has probably experienced something similar in the past and he’s gonna understand what you are feeling

won’t try to make you open up but you’ll want to, he has a comforting presence

very calm about it, gently speaks with you and guides your actions, makes sure you take care of yourself if you are in a really bad place

once you’ve stopped crying he’ll ask you what happened and should you tell him he’ll honestly be VERY mad

like why would someone do that to an ANGEL like YOU???

is genuinely confused and potentially in a murderous mood

and he has the quirk to get away with it

wants to go off on this person though, desperately, and should he ever run into them they are going to get a piece of his mind

a really really mean piece of his mind

Shinsou frowned as he felt a droplet of water fall onto his head, realizing that rain would likely come soon, he picked up the pace of his walk. He’d been out at the bookstore, and was suddenly grateful that he hadn’t bought anything as he watched everyone in the shopping center begin to retreat to their cars and into shops. 

He watched a lightning flashed in the distance, brows furrowing at the realization that a storm was coming when thunder accompanied the sight and pouring rain soon followed. UA wasn’t far, but he didn’t really want to have to run in the rain up the hill the school had been built upon.

Turning a corner, his eyes scanned the area in search of a shop he could wait out the storm in when they fell on the figure of someone seated in the rain, no umbrella or hood to protect them from the downfall, and their body shaking. 

Then he recognized the hoodie. It was his actually, and he knew exactly who he’d lent it to. 

Y/N L/N. The pretty girl in the hero course who’d threatened anyone who spoke poorly of him, defending his honor even though he never asked. She was always kind to him, even when they weren’t the closest of friends. Though that had changed, the pair now talking almost daily about a variety of things, something Shinsou was grateful for.

Questions flood his mind as he removes his jacket and brings it above him, going over to her, and when he’s close enough he can hear her small sobs, barely muffled by the palm of her hand. Shinsou can’t help but feel concerned as he brings his jacket above her to shield her from the rain, “hey, let’s go.” He mumbles gently. 

Y/N looks up at him, her eyes red and puffy, and if it weren’t pouring Shinsou would’ve hugged her right there. “What are you doing?” When she’d simply collapsed in the rain, her emotions overwhelming her, she hadn’t assumed Shinsou would randomly appear.

“Getting you out of the rain.” Came his response, “come on, we can wait out the storm in the café.” Shinsou would’ve extended a hand had he not be preoccupied by holding up his jacket, which was now soaking through.

Sniffing, she nodded, “yeah, you’re right.” She stands, and he follows her movements, jacket never leaving her figure as the pair makes their way to the door of the café. Y/N pushes the door open, and they both enter, allowing him to finally put the jacket above his head down, though it started soaking onto the floor. 

He threw it outside, much to Y/N’s shock, “I don’t wanna dirty the floor.” Shinsou explained nonchalantly, his purple hair sticking to his forehead. “Have you eaten?” 

“Sorry about your hoodie.” She mumbled, at they moved out of the way of the entrance. 

Raising a brow, he extended a hand, “that didn’t answer my question.” 

Y/N’s brows furrowed as she looked to his hand, tilting her head in confusion as she placed her hand into his, Shinsou gave her a small smile before leading her to the line of the café as she replied, “no. I didn’t.”

His brows draw together as she looks at her, she seems resigned, quieter than normal. “How about a muffin then? Or maybe a cupcake?” He peers into the display window, squinting at the variety of foods. “I say cupcakes,” In his experience, sugary foods always made things better, to an extent at least. 

Giving him a tight lipped smile, she nodded, “sure.” He was trying. It was better than nothing if she was honest. Considering the fact that her best friend had abandoned her today, it was a nice reminder, that she wasn’t alone. She had other people, regardless of what had happened.

Shinsou’s eyes met hers as he sighed, bringing his free hand to the back of his neck, “you wanna talk about it?” He knew they’d have to address it at some point, there was no denying that she had clearly been crying, something had upset her. 

Shaking her head, Y/N pulled him closer using their joined hands and brought him into a hug, “not right now.” It was an oddly intimate moment, despite the fact that they were in public.

Regardless, he pulls her tightly against him, wrapping his arms around her protectively as he responds, “alright. 

A/N: if anyone ever needs to talk or anything pls know im here! my dms are always open to anyone for anything :D

anyways, remember to sleep well, eat food, and drink water!

[knifesxedge]

hi love im deep in ur art blog for reasons and im SO in love with the fact that ur ghoul has his OWN nickname tattooed on him in party's writing they are SO 🥺 was wondering if you wanted to talk a bit more abt ghouls tattoos??? theyre just SO gorgeous and intricately laid out

HI i LOVE u i am KISSING u i would love love love to talk about ghoul’s tattoos 🥺❤️

^ yeah ghoul & party have each other’s handwriting tattooed!! for party it’s one of the only tattoos they have & it’s right over their heart (im sure ive mentioned this fact before but idk if ive explicitly noted that it says ‘sunshine’) and ghoul didn’t have the space to put his right over his heart because poison’s kj symbol is there so his is on his upper arm (they ARE soooooooo 🥺 i love them)

ghoul’s tattoos are a healthy mix of sentimental ink and things he just thought were beautiful. when he met the rest of the four he didn’t have THAT many tattoos because 1. he was 14 2. he’d only been in the zones for a little under a year and a half at that point but the ones he DID have (aka his oldest tattoos) were his knuckle tattoos (‘freed’ and ‘fuck’ what can i say he was 13), the big raven on his upper shoulder and neck (he started believing in the witch very early compared to other cityborns but yeah that tattoo was both a way of symbolizing his devotion to the witch and a way of marking himself as a killjoy/shedding his past in the city in the way that he considered clearest), the fangs on his hand, two bats on his leg, the zombie bite on the other side of his neck (i could get a little more into this but BASICALLY ghoul being an ex-crow trainee + a cityborn + being the only surviving member of his first crew had a problem with feeling inhuman and a lot of survivor’s guilt and so he really. idk he connected a lot with zombies & frankenstein’s monster and ghosts & the like when he was a runner for dr. d post-his crew’s deaths. he got better about Seeing Himself as a Person especially once kobra + the other two showed up but the fascination remained) (also not tattoo-related but that’s when he chose his name. before that he’d been called ‘sandpup’ by his old crew & he never had a chance to tell them before they passed but he really loved that they used that as a name for him especially with how much he didn’t want to associate himself with the city) (ghoul had A Lot of issues but the difference there is that he worked thru them a lot earlier than the rest of the four) and “I FORGIVE U” on the back of his neck (in remembrance of said former crew).

umm along with that kind of fascination with the undead/feeling that kind of connection are the frankenstein stitches on his wrists (tho thats more of a common hc) and he has this pretty big tattoo of abstracted bones following his vertebrae down his throat and chest that he’s gotten expanded/fixed/touched up over the years. ik i do a lot of b&w doodles but i feel like i’ve been kind of inconsistent about coloring (most of his tattoos are color). pretty sure ive mostly drawn them in green (???) but in my head they’re like a faded light blue using natural skin tone as highlights.

his more sentimental tattoos…let me see if i can outline them here. this might not be exhaustive but i will do my best to list what ive figured out at least thus far:

the two little bats on his right thigh are for his grandmother and little sister. his sister (juliet adele fujikawa, b. april 2009 d. december 2014) was killed in a car crash shortly before he left the city, and likewise, his grandmother (charlotte fujikawa [藤川 千尋] b. june 1936 d. december 2014) was “moved to retirement housing” at about the same time. that was pretty much the last straw & ghoul left battery city within the week

there’s his crewmates’ symbols on his chest (in order from his right to left: kobra, jet, party) (gotten when their crew had been together for a while. dating this one is based on a couple things: 1. ghoul had been with them for long enough that he felt secure 2. poison and ghoul were friends by this point, or else he wouldn’t have included their symbol and 3. poison’s is over his heart so you can read into that as you will)

text from the graffiti bible on his right calf, as protection for his crew & as a reminder of one of his former friends who was a droid that believed very strongly in destroya’s return

his raygun on his chest (he was pretty proud of the design! this was when he was ~15 or 16) that he had poison’s added to post-sing post-engagement pre-commitment ceremony (so. september 2023) (yes i have my handwritten timeline + my own drawings + my fics out in front of me rn cross-referencing sldkdksksbx!)

one of the girl’s childhood drawings (one she drew of him & her & the stuffed animal he made for her when she was a baby all having a tea party together) from when she’s about 5 or so on his right hip (december 2022 or so)

shooting stars on his upper right shoulder, partially because they’re pretty and blend well with his other tattoos and partially because they’re a reminder of a lot of things, including but not limited to his first night out in the zones seeing the stars for the first time, stories his grandma used to tell him, and right when he’d first joined the fab four and him & kobra sat on the roof during a meteor shower

besides the other one i already mentioned ^ he has more of poison’s handwriting on his left inner forearm — this is also one ive mentioned before but once they’ve been in a relationship for a while they get into the habit of leaving little love notes around for each other! there’s nothing particularly special specifically about the one he got tattooed, besides the fact that it reminded him of poison and they love each other. the text in full (which i don’t think ive ever put anywhere, though im pretty sure ive put fragments of it in fics and art) is as follows:

Good Morning baby <3! I needed new paints, went on a run. Kobra has the Girl @ the Crash Track, Jet’s at the station. call me when you wake up! I love you, be back soon. XO Party <3

he also has the anniversaries of when they started dating and their commitment ceremony (03•03•21 and 10•26•23 respectively) on the inside of his right wrist ^ !

he’s got a snake wrapping around his left leg that kobra picked out and a hand of cards with the ace of spades face up that jet picked out (and these ofc are because they remind him of his crewmates!!)

he has the phoenix witch tattooed on his ribs, left side, styled vaguely after catholic saints (since that imagery can still be found in the inner zones & especially where ‘joys who still practice that religion gather!)

there’s a version of the eye from the mailbox on his right shoulder, and this one is also a sort of symbol of protection/good luck, to show devotion to the witch and to help protect himself and his crew

the constellation libra on his left forearm! this one was done a little while after he started running transmissions and supplies for dr. d! he liked the connection that astrology — whether he believed in the practice or not is up for debate — gave people to the stars, and the feeling that he had a place in the universe, predestined or not

after charlie is born, he gets a portrait of her (~age 4) with her name and birthday underneath done on his left thigh! (~2036)

and on his lower back, he has a fairly simple tattoo of two crows on a wire with their beaks pressed together (aughhhhhh romance) that he gets done as an anniversary surprise for their 10-year (so. 2033)!

his non-sentimental tattoos are largely based off of images from books, either from dr. d’s collection when he was working as a runner for him or from cherri’s after he joined up with the fab four, or else they’re naturally occurring in the zones!! this includes but is not limited to: california golden poppies on the back of his left shoulder, strawberries around his left bicep (he doesn’t ever have a strawberry until he’s like 35, this one is absolutely based off of a particularly pretty illustration), a thundercloud with lightning on his left elbow, a moon on his right inner bicep, a ring of thorns around his right forearm right under the elbow, a dagger on his inner left calf, and a sun, small bat, cross, rose, ribbon (with the word ‘faith’ in script), and wing on his right forearm and hand, all picked from flash sheets

so yeah! that’s about everything i have to say about ghoul’s tattoos atm but ty ty ty sm for letting me ramble abt them i think about his tattoos so much 😔❤️

[redsplash1]

Alright y’all, I was bored and wanted to ignore my hw, so I made a tier list on everyone’s lore and a quick writeup for each placement. Just an fyi this is my opinion and will most likely change as we get more story content, but right now this is where I stand (no arguing please, or at least nothing that’ll result in name calling and such)

But yeah this is something I’ll probably look back on and be like “hmm maybe I was too harsh with my rankings” but rn it’s like 2:30 in the morning so yeah

TW: mention of abuse in Octane’s section

All of it will be under the cut

S Tier

Bloodhound: Maybe I’m biased because I’m a BH main, but imo their lore is the most interesting and nuanced out of everyone’s. From their parents, to their uncle, to Boone, and now their planet, Bloodhound’s backstory, current lore, and character is fantastic and honestly peak writing from Respawn atm.

Wraith: I understand that not everyone loves the “I lost my memory and am now trying to find out who I am” trope, and maybe this is also biased because I’m a complete Wraith simp, but her lore to me is also very unique and well done. The entire Voidwalker cinematic alone is what’s basically putting her in S tier, but I also love how she is the prime definition of “Looks like they can kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll” instead of your typical edgy girl that coldly pushes everyone away.

A Tier

Horizon: Interstellar but make it Scottish. She has really nice interactions with Mirage and Wattson, and there’s plenty of potential with where her character can go now that Ash is in the picture.

Gibraltar: While his lore isn’t as flashy like the ones in S tier, I still think it’s really good. For one, it’s consistent, and the stuff with Nik and Michael is very bittersweet. I really like how despite the tragedies in his life, like BH, that only made him more determined to do the right thing. 10/10 he’s got your back bruddahs

Mirage: Respawn’s poster boy, so it’s only natural that he gets a shitload of lore. Fortunately, it’s not shit and actually fleshes him out as a character greatly. I also really like the canon sibling relationship he has with Rampart. Now that his dad may or may not force himself into the picture soon, it’s gonna be more character development for Mirage either way.

Borderline

I’ll explain this tier real quick. Basically they’re between A and B; they have the potential to be great, but they’re being held back by a certain something.

--

Bangalore: Pathfinder’s Quest did a really good job fleshing her out, but the love triangle and inconsistent behavior towards Wraith isn’t doing her any favors. It’s a shame, because characters like Anita are really unique and not seen often. I can only hope Respawn realizes that no, love triangles are not the peak writing they think it is.

Loba: Same deal here, that love triangle and her rebounding off Valk is really not doing anything good towards her character. They’re adults, are they not capable of communicating? Like Bangalore, she’s also really unique in the sense that she’s a bisexual woman of color in a video game who is a complete girlboss and inspiration. Respawn stop fucking up your characters please!

B Tier

Revenant: He’s really badass, and his lore is fun, it’s just that the writing is making him look like a complete joke. He gets clowned on every time he’s about to do something cool and it’s honestly kinda sad. If the writing could give him a few kills to his name to actually establish that he’s a threat, I’ll put him up higher.

Octane: If this was fanon Octane, he’d be an automatic S tier. Respawn needs to flesh out his backstory some more, like most of the fanfics do. That one comic where he confronts his dad was 10/10, we just need more of that and actually tackling the effects his father’s abuse had on him. Also the potential history he has with Seer is a good opportunity to explore more of his character, so that’s a good start.

Rampart: Just recently she’s getting lore, and all of it is very good so far. The relationships she has with a lot of the legends are very strong, and the foreshadowing towards Big Sister returning is also a huge plus.

Fuse: The Maggie stuff was honestly really fucking lame (I blame the ingame comics for this), for me what’s really carrying his character rn are the Fusehound interactions. Idrc if it ends up platonic or romantic, all Ik is that there is a lot of potential in fleshing out Fuse as a character either way.

C Tier

Pathfinder: Okay I’m not gonna lie, I have conflicted feelings on Path. He got an entire book to himself dedicated to his own lore, along with a cinematic that gave a visual on what actually happened to his creators, and yet I don’t care for his lore??? Thinking about it, it’s probably because he didn’t really get any character development, he ultimately stayed the same (except that one moment where Revenant screwed with him, but he bounced back literally one chapter later). Also, it honestly looks like his story is over anyway, he just has to find his kid. At least his personality is 10/10 though

Lifeline: Y’all are probably thinking, why is Lifeline here and not Octane + vice versa, isn’t their lore basically the same? It’s because imo Octane has more potential character development atm, and Lifeline doesn’t really have any character interactions that don’t have to do with her childhood friend, so that to me is what’s separating her from Octane. Lol again if this were fanon Lifeline she’d probably be in A tier, borderline S tier.

D Tier

Valkyrie: Literally the first thing that happens to her in the lore is that she gets thrown into a love triangle. I understand that it’s in her character to be flirty and stuff, but a love triangle? Really? Ms. Kairi Imahara deserves sm better than that. Honestly the only reason she’s not in F tier is because I like her personality, along with the Northstar cinematic.

Seer: Tbh, there isn’t a lot we know about Seer. However, what we know about him so far isn’t detrimental and for me the reason he isn’t in F tier. The interactions he has so far have the potential to be explored.

E Tier

Wattson: Man. I wish she wasn’t here, but the fact that almost all her lore involves babysitting two grown men really killed her character for me. Fanon Wattson is a million times more enjoyable to me, Respawn needs to seriously consider giving her independent lore and/or branch out to other characters that aren’t Crypto and Caustic.

Crypto: Same thing, the fact that he’s strictly tied to Wattson and Caustic rn is annoying and stupid. It also doesn’t help that literally nothing about his personal lore has been addressed recently (Mila, clearing his name).

F Tier

Caustic: If he were actually established as a proper villain, he’d be way higher. But no, Respawn wants to play rock paper scissors with this guy; one second he literally wants to gas a city, the next he’s playing nice because “Wattson blackmailed him?” Lol I don’t fucking think so. I’m not saying a redemption arc for Caustic is impossible, it’s just that Respawn did a really shitty job in actually convincing people that he deserves it. And yes, even the whole deal with his mom isn’t doing it for me. Nah fuck this guy sorry y’all, he’d be way better as a villain imo

TLDR: Fanon does it better

[stickynotestoletters]

Yandere Headcannons BNHA

This is just a bunch of headcanons I have about the boys in BNHA and what they’d be like as yanderes. Only the really fluffy or good things about them listed here. This is not a good depiction of a real yandere and make sure to be careful to identify yandere traits in real people around you. It’s a very dangerous world and stay safe!

Uh no v serious warnings; Manipulation mentions, kidnapping mentions, and just this is a lot of heavily influenced trans reader headcanons because I’m having a lot of gender struggles rn and that’s where my headspace is atm and this is also after and or during when you’ve/re been/being kidnapped and conditioned,  a little NSFW because if I don't specify then they are aged up (around 20-25 is where I imagine the timeline that they actually captured you and have a hero carrier going for them already),

Bakugou Katsuki

This man loves you and you know it. 

If you meet him in middle school and don’t like his original persona he’s gonna adjust it around you to slowly lure you in

He wants to be yours no matter what he sacrifices and if giving up his pride is what it takes so be it

He only shows his affection through physical gifts and touch because words of affirmation are not really his specialty.

He loves the idea of you being submissive towards him even if you’re not a girl.

Loves holding your hips when you’re doing something, especially if you’re good at cooking and make him stuff once you’ve become more docile and have stopped fighting him on leaving

So if you are trans or otherwise in the LGBTQ+ community for gender stuff he will do the most to make you comfortable. Binder? You didn’t even have to tell him your measurements cause bby he already knows 

It’s who you are and he accepts that but it’s also a pride thing. 

It’s also a way he tries to gain your trust in the early stages of your kidnapping. 

He sees this as a way to prove he’s the only one out there who would take care of you and accept you so well, this also gives him more reason to tell you you belong there because of what happens to “your community”

If you think he doesn’t know before you come out to him then you’re wrong. He knows everything about you and nothing will get in the way from making you his.

He’ll only get you T-shots and other stuff like that if you promise to not talk to anyone else at the doctor’s about your relationship. 

But the best part about all this is how absolutely submissive you’ll be under his care while you recover after surgery

Izuku Midoryia 

There are a lot of things I see that headcanon Deku has a whole book on you but I feel like this boy has an entire series of books

He has taken notes on you since he met you and has a color coded system of books that detail on your beginning years too once he gets them out of your friends or family or even just you

If you met him before he had his quirk he would probably kidnap you once he got his quirk

He spent a lot of time writing how he would kidnap you if he had certain quirks

Anyways, he loves to lay his head on your stomach

He also likes it when you’re just writing or drawing and he can watch, writing things down is a very personal part of his life so when someone as special as you does it he gets all sappy and heart warmed

If you ever get the chance to look into one of his books about you and you complement him on it he will not be able to handle it

If you’re trans he will immediately start using your pronouns in the correct form

He wants to give you as much respect as you deserve so he just uses them naturally it’s just the way of things

He’s very nervous about getting you a binder, it’s just scary for him

He also goes back into his notebooks and changes your name and pronouns

He looks intensively into research about binders, T-shots, and surgery

He lets you get a binder after you say I love you the first time

Lets you get T-shots after your first year anniversary of being conditioned to be in love with him

Todoroki Shoto

So this boy is not very interested in talking to you when you first meet

It’s just he’s so scared that he’s going to mess you up and drag you into his own mess so he waits until he’s better or gets better to contact you

He loves to stare at you

Just while you’re doing nothing or asleep, especially when you’re talking though

He loves touching your hands and giving you things

He doesn’t really talk to you though and as much as he loves to watch you talk to people he just likes how quiet you are around him

He likes to make you food, even though he doesn’t know how to cook he’ll start learning for you

He’s def the big spoon no matter how tall you are around him just def the big spoon

If you are trans he’s just gonna nod it off then cuddle with you afterwards

He’s just super calm about everything

Top of the line binders and T-shots and check-ups by a special doctor that’s sworn to secrecy

Actually tracks down someone with a quirk that can modify your body permanently without surgery

But if he comes up fruitless in the en-devour (lmao) he will let you get surgery and will love how dependent and you get on him after 

You’re just so sleepy and quiet but you’re submissive and cute

Will cry if you call him babe when you ask for something and will beg you to do it more and will get you 2x whatever you’re asking for

Has to remind himself often of your pronouns in his head but never slips up when speaking to you

Kaminari Denki

Okay this man loves to touch you. Like no warning just loves to put his hands on you

Hips and thigh guy I don’t make the rules

For some reason he likes to grab and stroke up and down your bottom half of your rib cage.

Puts his legs around yours when you’re sleeping

Likes to scrub your back and take care of you in a bath, not even in a sexual way (besides bath sex and fondling turn him off because of his quirk)

grabs the little part of your hips and thigh where they connect to your but and just squishes it

Gets so flustered when you wear yellow

But loves to see you in a pastel yellow even if you don’t think you look good he’ll always say how amazing he thinks you look

Tons and tons of compliments

absolutely loves holding your hand 

Says I love you within the first couple minutes of kidnapping you

Power Bottom no matter your gender

If trans he will def go and get you a binder

Will make sure you don’t tell anyone about your relationship if you go get T-shots and stuff by holding your hand and giving you a little shock every time you get too close to saying something

Gets you tons of sex toys that help with dysphoria during sexy times (like thanks but ur a perv kami)

He doesn’t want to risk you if you get surgery so he will wait a couple years before he allows you to

Kirishima Eijiro

He actually saw you at the entrance exam for UA and he just immediately had hearts in his eyes

This boy is clingy af, if you even look away for 2 seconds he’ll start whining

Wants you to be the most comfortable person in the world

He likes the idea of you being the picture perfect little darling, cooking and cleaning and waiting for him to get home he wants you to depend on you

He needs you to depend on him! What is he good for otherwise? 

Touch starved tbh

He likes to cuddle you when you first get kidnapped, like if you don’t let him touch you he’ll start crying

If you keep rejecting him he’ll get delusional instead and will just hug you anyways

If you’re trans and you want to ask him for stuff to make you feel comfortable like a binder he’s gonna use this to his advantage

You wanna shop for a binder? Two how cuddle session and he’ll consider taking your measurements

It’s gonna be hard for him to think of the safest way to get you testosterone or other hormone injections and stuff

He’s just concerned

Will lowkey try to convince you to drop the idea but if he’s not already delusional enough to ignore your feelings and you start crying then he’s just gonna comfort you

It’s gonna take a year or two to convince him but if you become more submissive and obedient for him he might be persuaded

In the end he’ll get you surgery and other things like that but he’s gonna need to speak to 30 different professionals about this just to be 200% sure it’s the right move.

Iida Tenya

Tenya isn't the most aggressive when it comes to things but he’s very stern and patient so he’ll have a little more freedom with disciplining you

He likes to hug you from behind

He starts to slowly stop raising his hands and yelling cause he knows it disturbs you and makes you flinch, plus you listen better when he whispers

When you cuddle he puts his legs between yours cause he wants you hold you whole

He covers his engines when y’all sleep together so you don’t scratch yourself on them

Lets you paint and draw and write but only under super vision and he analysis your work after to see how you feel

Compliments you a ton

Stern in the bedroom, very daddy/dom nothing else will do

Likes to compliment you

Loves it when you smile at him

Wants you to be comfortable out of any other option

If you’re trans then he’ll be pretty much the same as Shoto

Top of the line products and binders

Will be the first out of both of you to suggest surgery

Wants to look for a doctor with many experiences before he even asks you tho

You gotta admit that he is very sweet throughout the whole process and very supportive

He will also give you a personal doctor, but he will also have to sit in on sessions and the like to make sure you’re not concocting a plan to escape or anything

Thank you for reading this! Have a lovely day and if you have any suggestions just ask! However I can’t guarantee I’ll do everything. Maybe I’ll do a part two?

[majicmarker]

so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[igotthejuice]

Part 1 of My Bumble Date from Hell

Hey friends!  I Hope you’re still surviving COVID.  Oh and if you’re class of 2020 congrats to you!  I know that shits hard.  I’m doing good, still WFH or whateva, I just got off a call.  My state is slowly reopening but nothings open, if that makes any sense.  I’m sitting here weak over this date I’m about to tell y’all about.  In hindsight that shits actually funny af.  Oh, also I might get a pet.  I just don’t know what I would even want atm.  Just a thought I’ve been having lately.   Side note y’all, I had a dream Plies was my new neighbor lmao.  Okay, so anyways shall we talk about this date from hell? You already know from my last blog that I met him from bumble.  I think I like bumble the most.  There’s something about being in control of who I want to communicate with that sits well with me.  Plus, lets be real, just because you match with someone doesn’t always mean you care to talk to them. So anyways, I messaged him and we exchanged numbers and FT’d almost instantly.  If you can’t tell by now I love FT.  I’m definitely that person that will FT you and not even be looking at the FT but enjoying your presence lol.  Plus, if we’re getting to know each other I like to jump right in.  Okay, what should we call this guy? Idk, we’ll give him a basic name like Chris since he turned out to be pretty fucking basic, sorry if your name is Chris…So we were on FT for about an hour…that should’ve been my first sign.  If it’s our first time talking we should be on FT for at least 3 hours just getting to know each other.  There’s so much to talk about.  But he really just didn’t seem to care.  Looking back on it, I led the entire conversation.  I just saw that as a sign that he was a good listener.  So I was pretty surprised when he said he wanted to hang out. I also was a little thrown off since everything is closed rn but he said he wanted to just take a walk and have a picnic on the water.  Now I thought that was hella cute so I was with the shits.  Fast forward to the date.  It was on a Wednesday.  Weird day, I know, but 1) we’re both wfh 2) no one has shit to do 3) who tf knows what day it is anyways?  Exactly. So I live really close to where we were going to picnic, so he drove to my house and he biked to the picnic spot while I roller-skated.  It was actually really cute.  He even had a picnic basket that he put on the back of his bike.  So anyways, everything pretty much went “right” up until a certain point.  Lets just fast forward to where shit got weird.  

Mkay so it all started when I noticed he was drinking a lot…like A LOT.  And if you can’t tell by now I really don’t like to judge, it’s just not my thing. So while I noticed he was drinking a lot, he wasn’t acting dumb or anything so I didn’t say shit, go awf fam. Welp friends, I should’ve said something because hit the fan real quick.  It started with him talking a lot and telling me weird shit about people I didn’t know.  Normally that wouldn’t phase me but keep in mind, this man was hella shy on FT.  My dumb ass still didn’t say anything.  Side note:  this is just another lesson.  It’s okay to be that “chill” person, but don’t be so chill that you let people just self-sabotage right before your eyes, you’ll regret it.  So anyways, he started putting me all over his IG which made me feel uncomfortable because I like to hoe in peace and plus, we live in the same area and y’all already know how that shit goes.  There’s no way we don’t have mutual friends.  So anyways, after about an hour of him throwing back shots of henny (barf) and recording more and more on his IG he swore some girl was recording us on her phone.  Now was the camera facing our way?  Yes, but she was far away and it was a beautiful day.  She could’ve been recording anything so I kept telling him not to worry about it.  But y’all he would not let that shit go.  He kept saying “naw trust me, I know exactly wtf it is.”  Now at this point we should’ve left…fuck it, I should’ve left. But I just didn’t.  So he starts yelling at the girl, ugh jus thinking about it makes me feel so embarrassed and it makes me wonder why I STILL hadn’t left. So anyways, she was with the shits, like sis had time that day.  So she’s screaming back at him and at this point they’re going back and forth.  He’s calling her a nosey “that” and a hatin’ ass “this” and she’s coming right back it him just as strong.  So at this point I’m just watching like everyone else.  Oh and at one point she said I had disgusting taste in men.  I’m thinking, now wait a minute, I don’t even know this man.  So anyways, she must have said something that triggered him because he got up so got damn quick y’all.  Sorry, I have to stop here, I’m still working lol.  I just wanted to start telling this story since I promised it a few days ago.  More tomorrow!

[magicflowershop]

one day kitty; Kita version

《inspired by movie A Whisker Away》

✿✿ you wished to be with the person you like and wish granted. whiskers, button nose, tail, four legs and ears on top of the head; you turned into a cat. with this, you are given the opportunity to be with the person you want to express your affections to. but as a cat. and only in one day.

― haikyuu characters x cat!reader imagines!

❀ masterlist ❀

the wheel of names have spoken.

kita was having a good time by himself in his grandmother’s rice fields, feeling the breeze like the precious farm boi he is,,, when he saw a cat sleeping on a wet patch in the middle of the field

gathering concern for the little cat, he brought him home and decided to clean it up 

then you woke up

you felt something scrubbing your back when you open your eyes you see a guy aiming a hose at you 

you scream bc obv, but that scream translated into a screech leaving your mouth and you see your hand

homie that was a paw

why do u have a paw?????

"stay still, you might hurt yourself”

and why is there a Kita Shinsuke spraying water at you lmao

you see that he’s kinda annoyed that you’re moving so much while he’s trying to clean you up but at the same time you arent sure since he isnt easy to read and that don’t know him too well rip so you let yourself be cleaned for free ig

but yo what the hell??? so you’re a cat now????

you try to remember what happened before all this and how in the world you suddenly turned into a cat and magically wake up in Kita’s place 

you dont know the exact location of his place so you have no idea how to get back home from here

Kita pulled the cat closer to him, and wiping the wet fur with a towel as generously as he could that the cat soon found comfort from his gentle caresses

okay maybe you could stay for a while yk huehue

“you’re having fun”

you hear a familiar voice from a mile away, you look back and see a fat, creepy cat standing on two of its hind feet

o wait

you saw that cat last night when you were watching the shooting star outside,,, you thought it’d be cute if you suddenly wished for something so you did then that thing appeared outta nowhere promising you that he can make your wish come true than compared to a stupid star

so he forced the wish outta you

that you wished to be closer to a guy you admired,, and you had a lot of crushes in your school ykyk,,, just that Kita takes the entire cake

“you have until midnight to remain as a cat. be sure to leisurely fulfill your desires, y/n.”

and so he vanished

while knowing full well you’re basically Cinderella now, you take consideration of your leisure time with Kita-sama

do you stay or do you go home first to check on your household

“oh what do we have here?”

Kita’s grandma entered the scene and you think that okay maybe this development is a little too quick since you weren’t ready to face his relatives yet

“i found this cat in the fields. it looked like it could get sick so i cleaned it”

o yea you were a damn cat

also Kita calls you freakin “it”

:) 

pennywise who

you chose to stay in Kita’s place bc grandma thought it’d be lovely to let you stay there for a while,, and that you looked like you were starving when you saw the food on the table

thank goodness you were a cat bc jesus were you actually drooling

so you spent time in Kita’s place big deal

but his place isn’t what you’re aimed for no?

“i’m leaving”

Kita says putting on his shoes, ready to leave and he’s wearing casual clothes,, you don’t think he’s going to school for volleyball practice

IS HE GOING ON A DATE????????????

lmao

as if thats actually true cmon Kita doesn’t even hang out with girls that much,,, even though he prolly has a bunch of admirers like the other Inarizaki Vball bois

but what if he swang that wae?

??????????

so you followed him right?

you wanted to find out where he’s headed also that he looked good in casual clothes you just want to keep looking at him like this 

Kita went to the grocery store

ah

and apparently he was buying ingredients to make food

ahh

so you begin to think that you were foolish for lowkey gate-keeping him

like sis cmon you’re a cat rn keep your head in the game,, what do you do with those paws of yours that cant even grab his hand and pull him away when he was about to bump into a girl as he was about to grab a bottle of tomato paste

heck you cant even get inside the damn grocery store and walk in between them cause you’re a fcking cat!!!!!!!!

you watch their mouths say sorries to each other

the girl was blushing

hm?

Kita looked worried that he couldve hurt her since the hag was coverin her face

hm

nani k

n̸̢̪̜͚͑́̾́̑̋ á̴̠̜̳͖̼̃͗̚͘͠ͅ n̵̼͙͇̻̹̓͜͜ i̷̥̲̻̪͈̞̙̩͛̾̅̓͝͝͠ ̶̨̡̜̞̟͆̿̈́͜ḵ̶̂̓̀̚ o̶͎͛̋̋̊͋̊̅̈̅ͅ r̶͙̮̱͊̎͠ ę̷̺̪͎͈̗̖̯̣͍͒͊̒͆͂̈́͛́̒̃

you started tapping the glass windows like mad SKSKD

and ofc since you’re a stray animal ppl wont let u get away with absolutely anything so one personnel saw you tapping the windows and shouted at you from inside the store

Kita and the hag saw you and yea that was enough embarrassment for the day, you ran away and let your feet take you wherever 

its a bit boring that since its a weekend there’s nothing to do,, you never expected that Kita’s weekends would be this boring too :(

so the creepy cat appeared

“what’s wrong you dont seem to be enjoying yourself anymore”

“turn me back to human i need to finish my homework”

maybe thats not the most liable excuse you have but it is true that you need to finish an assignment

“but i gave you a chance to be with the person you admire, no? is this not enough?”

“yea well its-”

“here you are”

you feel someone pick you up and you see that it was Kita:0he must’ve looked for you since you dont even know where you are

oh my god Kita Shinsuke looked for you ma’am eye- or mayhaps you took the route back to his house without knowing since you were busy staring at him when you were stalking him earlier ye

you watched how he looked at the creepy cat you were talking to and and judged it from head to hind feet lmao Kita

“do you have the same owner as this cat?”

he asked you and you gave out every ounce of your energy to shake your head as a no as well as to let out the most disgusted and disapproval meow you ever could-

“the hell would i want to be acquainted with that thing!”

a

what

no way did u just speak

so Kita stared at you for the remainder of the time but decided you speaking isnt physically possible and that he could’ve been real tired since he saw the Miya twins along the way

he took you back home since his grandma seemed to be real happy seeing a little animal in the house with them

but you didnt miss to see the little knowing smile from the creepy cat from earlier, you just knew from that alone that he was messing with you since as you said you were bored 

it was wrong of you to talk to that lil disgusting thing

since that moment you refused to speak with your mouth every again, if you were going to speak thought you would probably just purposely say meow only to not make anymore mistakes

also you’re spending a lot of time with Kita’s grandma than Kita himself

“i wonder what your future spouse is doing at this moment, Shin-kun”

Kita looked like he wanted to roll his eyes so bad lmao since he always hears things about his grandma wanting to see his wedding before she dies :c

and yk it makes you sad too just hearing about this

and you want to help 😔

and you would offer help 😌

they heard the cat speak and now you’re running away bc they heard you talk about wanting to marry Shinsuke 🤡

the day ended and you managed to go home before the sun set basically nothing happened and your transformation was all for nuttin, you were bamboozled by a demon cat you randomly saw one night

the next day you were back to your human self and it was a school day so ofc you have to live on normally in school as if nothing happened, as if you didnt just stalk a guy from your school but we’ll get to that

see, you’re friends are friends with a few of the guys from your school’s volleyball team,,, so you’re within vicinity of Kita’s attention 

when you explicitly did not want to see him atm

BUT THEN YOU REMEMBER YOUR FRIENDS KNOW YOU LIKE KITA

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO NOW

you decided to run away but you realize that’s useless bc you’re all going home together :D

now you weren’t the crowds type of person,, you had no idea how it come to this, you’re used to hanging out with your girlfriends yes but they were having fun altogether like this it was fun just watching them goof off and whatnot

“hey”

when i told you you’re almost dropped the second you hear Kita calling to you, you best believe

you said hey but in a different tone of voice bc it was too early for him to notice you had the same voice as the cat he saw yesterday,,, then you both walked in silence

you couldnt take it anymore and decided to go to the nearest convenience store since you had something you want to buy,, you went and whispered this to your friends but when they were asking you to let your voice out, you were deadass croaking

but then you clown yourself sum more bc Kita was concerned of you acting like this and asked if you were alright

now you’re stuck with him in the convenience store bc your friends and his friends thought it’d be a great idea for him to go with you :D

“you should eat something warm before going to sleep, and take a warm bath too”

:((((((

okay now you feel bad for actually making him worry lol

your alibi of getting sick works really well with not speaking at all around him so you used this till the end thinking you can escape him with this until it rained and you dont have an umbrella with you

aight y/n you’re one hell of a clutz

Kita was enough of a gentleman to buy an umbrella for you until its actually out of stock

you guys stayed in the convenience store for the time being

you were losing your mind

how much longer will you stay with him

you thought of an alibi to save you from the embarrassment so you told him you gotta jet and go back to school bc you forgot to bring your notebook with you 

but now you realize you realize you didnt have to tell him bc he’ll still follow you as if his life depends on taking care of you :(

after you randomly stormed out of the convenience store, he caught up to you and pulled you somewhere where there’s a roof over

“are you usually this reckless? or do you just like getting yourself sick?”

homie does not hold back

he pulled a spare shirt from his back and put it on your head,, proceeding to wipe your wet hair with it until he realized he’s subconsciously invading your personal space

he looked right at you, so you two were standing there,,, staring,, his hands on both sides of your head,,,,, both of y’all are wet hunni

he let go and turned the other way,,, the darkness wasnt dark enough to conceal his red cheeks and hunni you made him blush aight

“you reminded me of a cat i saw yesterday im sorry about that”

“you dont have to apologize”

o sis you did it now

you s p o k e

so Kita was beyond surprised to hear that voice again,,,, and this time from yOU,, ALL NORMAL,, NO FROGS

“i, i can explain”

he looked at you confused, hell was he so confused, that you sounded exactly like the voice he randomly heard yesterday which made him think that came from the cat,, he didnt think that was physically possible bc yk but the embarrassment from your face was enough for him to guess

“did you really say you’re willing to marry me”

gOD

“i mean,,, i don’t mind”

“grandma would be glad”

stay tuned for more!

[starcloaked]

Laurel: If you could write the books, what changes would you make?

okay it’d be a Lot of them.... i haven’t particularly thought it through too much but i think anyone could right the books better than the erins

okay first series additions.... make princess have a larger role. she does nothing but have babies and is there sometimes & i like her so she is a cool supportive big sister now. joining the clans would be lame but she could be the Voice of Reason w all the stupid clan rules and give her brother advice

umm make redtail b alive longer so his death isn’t just a random plot device. introduce rusty to the clans and have everything be peachy for even like a day before his murder where he gets a taste of the danger that all of them r constantly in. more impact

this is going to sound crazy but hear me out okay. i want sandstorm to take the role of graystripe and be fire’s pal from day one. she could still have the ‘lol ur weak lmao <3’ thing but whitestorm is a good mentor and she warms up to him quicker. make More conflict with gray and darkstripe being half brothers and have him be friends with dustpaw instead. he uses jokes to mask his own feelings but internal,y he is conflicted over wanting to be friends with firestar or disappointing his clique of clanmates

okay okay hear me out but silverstream & sandstorm. they r dating !! sandstorm doesn’t have any canonical parents here so she leaves for riverclan with her and they have a litter with the help of some guy idk. silverstream still dies in childbirth and sandstorm, wracked with grief eventually leaves the clans with her kits when tensions with thunderclan start to get high. stay with me here but she eventually joins bloodclan w her kits because that would make feather and storm a Lot more interesting

uhh back at home bluestar should have a closer bond with tigerstar. remember her taking in whitekit n stuff? do That with bluestar and just have her like kits a lot. would make more cents with the oak heart stuff idk!! they are pals but he is evil so on and so forth

i like ravenpaw for the most part but he should be the main one who pulls graystripe from his clique bc fire is kinda out of touch when it comes to serious emotion. he leaves afterward and the two bond <3 i don’t really have any idea of who fire should be mates with here to be honest but either sand Or gray is cool. wait a second if sandstorm graystripe can she be mates with millie?? never thought of that before it’s cute. she can still be the surrogate mother of leaf & squirrel too

OH scourge. to be honest i never really found the appeal of having the brother revelation not being known by either fire or him sooo. up the tensions a little here!! scourge should live ofc by idk maybe princess stops fire from killing him?? something like That and here’s my great idea guys instead of having poor barley be alive at the end of graystripes vow make it scourge. just some crusty old man telling warriors cats roleplayers stories of old and really wishing he were a ghost rn

neeew prophecy uhh . uhhhhhh feather and storm move back to riverclan and have Cool backstory now yahoo!! squirrelflight lesbian i like her and tawnypelt together <3 nightleaf cannon make her sad cause she has stupid crowfeather as a mate and run away w leafpool. she has the kits (we r going to Ignore the fact that they would all be black furred because of reincarnation bullshit) and so on. um i don’t know how to fix the mess that is brambleclaw but honestly i think he should keep his characterization from the first book and just be Some Guy like brackenfur or whatever. squirrelflight is like his sister in law so his later descent into Bad territory still has the weird power balance nepotism thing + he can still be alder and sparks dad

assfur?? keep him the same ig people seem to like the fire scene but make him a lot more of a loser. cinderholly cannon umm lionblaze has a more interesting character arc where he struggles with his powers leaving him a possible danger to others. make jayfeather hate him and other disabled warriors less dear god and have him decide to be a med on his own after training under brightheart for a while. night and leaf can have a messy breakup and get back together in starclan (as a treat ❤️) and breezepelt has parent drama because neither of his parents truly love one another and are still caught up on lovers from the past. make him regret his actions more and give him a proper redemption arc pwease thank youuu

my brain is pretty fried rn but that’s like.., all i’ve got for ideas atm so there u go!! uh last additions rootshadow real have briss look more like hawkfrost to tie into brambles trust in her and you know what give that bitch rabies and then have him be possessed. good night

[myatuesday]

You know there's a lot going on

When there's so much going on

I don't even know how to talk about it

Because I don't even know

How or where to start.

_

But, basically, everything has been turned upside down.

And a recalibration is necessary.

_

I'm extremely worried about money now.

As in... I need to be making it.

_

Due to an emergency and unforseen set of circumstances

Even tho we were :this fucking close:

The new apartment situation has been put on hold, basically indefinitely at this time.

Um...

That relationship is kindof a trainwreck at this time.

Not due to relationship issues

But issues he's dealing with that are frankly life altering for him

Which, of course, effects me by proxy for as long as I remain in the relationship.

_

So very difficult times

Very hard decisions to make

_

I'm caught btwn loyalty

And my NEED to do what's best for me rn

-

In an ideal situation, the two could co-exist

But... that seems devastatingly impossible at this time.

_

Idk wtf I'm going to do.

I just know, I entered this year w a new attitude and new energy

This type of motivation and spike in confidence in my own gifts/talents/whatever doesn't happen much

I need to capitalize on it NOW

I can't squander it trying to solve everyone else's problems, unfortunately.

There is just no time.

And bitch need $$$ now.

Right FN now.

_

So...

Plan A is fucked

Plan B is fucked

Plan C is... who the fuck knows

Plan D is needed

Smh.

Lord have mercy.

_

[Well, no. I take that back.

I still have the same plan for me.

My *personal* plans, particularly where bringing in finances are concerned, hasn't really changed.

It just looks like... I'm on my own now.

No partners. No support. No shared expenses.

So... that is a game changer. Obviously. Smh.

Idk wtf I'm going to do.

I know what I want -

Money wise/career wise/hobby wise, whatever.

I just...

I'm afraid pursuing something like that fully on my own, just me, myself and I... might end up being kind of a wash.

I guess that's my biggest concern.

What's the point of bringing in new income, if I can't stack cash and instead it's all going to support me/pay bills?

That's the current dilemma in my financial house. ]

_

But I'm also ready for independence

I want my life back

I want to make myself a priority again

ALL of this was sort of a subconscious goal for 2021

But... it wasn't really even a goal, just the energy that hit me this year.

But, now, 2021 is here...

And it's a goddamn fucking nightmare.

Is my actual life?

Me, personally...

Not the circus and monkeys around me

But my actual life?

No, not really.

It felt/feels like it, at times, because my life is so connected/intertwined to the people around me

Or because I'm constantly absorbing their energy.

(Which is seriously slowly fucking killing me and has to fucking stop. Immediately.)

But, best I can tell,

Aside from my car issues (yeah, pretty big deal)

My internal personal world

Me, myself and I...

Is still intact.

Which... is just something to consider/for me to not forget, getting lost in the sauce of everyone else's bullshit.

_

I'm terrified.

I don't want to do things 100% on my own

For a multitude of reasons

(And, say I do succeed, what's the point of having money, if I've got no one to share it with?)

But, I've got to do SOMETHING.

_

I've been waiting on this boy for 3+ goddamn years

Yeah, it was F I N A L L Y so close I could taste it

(So to say this goddamn fucking SUCKS is a huge understatement)

But, now, it's fucked.

(For now anyway. Sigh.

Granted, there's nothing saying that a year from now, everything may be better. Idk.)

But it's extremely hard.

And idk what I'm going to do yet.

Somebody gets hurt either way.

But, after 3 goddamn years,

I'm kindof tired of it being me.

I have to move forward w my own goddamn life at some point, with or without him.

It just sucks.

And doesn't sit well with my conscience

At Fucking All.

But... sigh

I'm dying here.

I'm tired of being broke.

I'm tired of feeling stagnant.

I just...

It is what it is

And I have to figure it out

_

I'm constantly looking to the universe for answers

I have been for months now

I'm definitely praying on this issue

Ever since everything changed.

_

Do I want a clear path to magically appear to me?

Um... honestly, yes.

But even though I can't see a clear path

I can certainly see goddamn giant roadblocks, saying NOT HERE.

That's in relationship to pretty much every relationship I have. Atm.

So... everything that's happening, best I can tell, is insisting I must move forward independently in order to get to whatever this next chapter is.

Heartbreaking? Yes.

Terrifying? Absolutely.

But what else can a bitch do?

_

And... the Carter thing

Well, that's a whole other issue

But, equally fucked atm

Totally different reasons

(Mostly being, uh, idk... who the fuck he currently is as a person)

But that relationship, all in all, feels pretty untenable atm.

_

Maybe I take a year for myself

Fall flat on my face, come crawling back begging for mercy (I certainly hope not)

Maybe I take a year and come back, and we're all in a better fucking place

And have a fighting goddamn chance to make something work.

That's the gamble.

_

But I know I can't just sit here and rot

Holding everybody else's hand

While I watch my fucking life pass me by

That much, I know.

How and when I'm going to make those necessary changes remains to be seen.

But... hopefully, time will tell.

And my willingness and drive to reorganize my priorities and put my life (and I pray to god, my money) first will... somehow finally allow the path I'm looking for to magically roll out before me afterall.

I can hope and freakin pray.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tommy

Ali: I am SO glad this holiday centres around drinking beyond reason

Tommy: Me too, like, But why are you?

Ali: I wouldn’t even wanna get into it if it weren’t for the fact I couldn’t with her

Ali: Obvious clue is obvious

Tommy: Oh darling, Kitty, what’s she done now?

Ali: It’s not even what she’s done

Ali: It’s her total lack of desire to try

Ali: I know I shouldn’t take it personally and it’s symptomatic of the bigger picture

Ali: But that’s the problem, it’s so hard to watch, to see it so clearly when she has no front to put up

Tommy: Yeah, it always puts a lovely, thick layer of extra dread onto my homecoming

Tommy: the regularly scheduled updates are bad enough & it’s not like I can do more for being back under the same roof

Ali: Oh God, please don’t start, it’s like no one wants to be here, pure depressing, like

Ali: That’s how I ended up feeling, it wasn’t like she wanted to come but you know, anxiety, strangers etc

Ali: Because my suggestions to alleviate those problems were shot STRAIGHT down

Ali: So she just doesn’t want to

Ali: but not just that, I should feel like shit for going and leaving her alone...which put like that, should I? I don’t even know now

Tommy: Honey, fuck that! I’ve had to veto Fi going full Elphaba on all our faces so that diva maybe this close to not, but there’s no stopping me, Will, Gwen or Steph 🥳🥳🥳

Tommy: she’s getting worse, I dunno what any of us are meant to do

Tommy: other than being certain that I’m not gonna let you have an utter shit time

Tommy: That’s what she wants, that way you’ll stay with her forever 💀🥀🕷🕸

Ali: Nice to hear some genuine enthusiasm, which is fecking ridiculous considering this is apparently every fucker’s fave holiday as standard, I swear everyone but Da is in a right mood atm

Ali: Thank God that everyone’s gotta let tourists be tourists for the 💸🤑 or your mates would need some serious babysitting 😏

Ali: Little green men is fully my groupies’ aesthetic so you’re welcome to out yourself any time, like

Ali: I dunno, I mean, she’ll be alright won’t she? It’s a fairly long sesh, I know…

Ali: Hence my life’d be a lot easier if she’d come for a bit but there we go

Tommy: My honoured guests have got it in spades & buckets tbh 🧶🧚‍♀️🍀🎩🌈 dress up is already well underway just can’t let ‘em also start 🚗💣🍺🥃 or they won’t last to see it in

Tommy: cba to stick in it a 🍼 you know

Tommy: how many groupies you got now? Only 👏 while it’s still underground, avant-garde & super niche, naturally

Tommy: What’s she got planned? Other than putting a 💔 hex on you and Carls

Ali: Sensible

Ali: And not in a scrooge debbie downer kinda way

Ali: Found out the tents for yous to sleep in but I’m taking ‘em out first

Ali: 🌄 are calling, obvs

Ali: Naturally 🙄 just don’t click instead that shit is TOO pretentious even for your lot

Ali: She said she was WELL busy, but you know, the usual I imagine 📚💭

Ali: Drew won’t pay her no attention way too busy with the tourists etc 💸🤑

Tommy: 👍 cheers 😸👼 you are

Tommy: 🍀 are calling, is what you mean

Tommy: 🙄 be a waste of a 🙏 I know it’s 1 of her other highly rated activities, like, but still, I don’t need to imagine the two of ‘em getting together rn

Ali: They make NO sense

Ali: Unless his thing is dating a girl like his sister, in place of the standard wanting a mum 2.0, which understandably is not his vibe

Ali: Suspect don’t cover it but we’ll see

Tommy: It’d make more sense if I dumped Will for Fi & suss wouldn’t cover that & that’s a NO from us all

Tommy: Excuse you whore! That’s Meena slander

Ali: You know what I mean though

Ali: Where did this come from, like 🤯

Tommy: 🤯 over straight boy behaviour since forever

Ali: I usually find them so boringly easy

Ali: not the brag it sounds

Ali: I’d rather get her again… I’d know what to do, before

Ali: It was safety, for her and us

Tommy: Before she would’ve followed you anywhere, you can’t keep her safe if she ain’t even gonna try to meet you halfway at anything

Ali: Like you said, nothing to be done, I suppose

Ali: At least today

Ali: I’m going to mass with her, she’s helping to set up, it’s something

Tommy: & I’ll squeeze in a 1 on 1 for me & her before I leave 🩰👒🎹🎤✨

Ali: Tah

Ali: If only getting people to spend time with her was the issue

Ali: Be fully booked if she wanted

Tommy: But like you said, it’s something & if anyone can talk her out of an unsuitable romance, it’s me 🧚🏼‍♂️

Tommy: don’t have your track record

Tommy: there’s at least a chance she’ll take my advice about doing better than a dealer 🤞 now I’ve got myself the “happy ending” of decent hair & only petty crime

Ali: None of my romances have been unsuitable

Ali: You underestimate how discerning her taste is when it comes to other people’s partners

Ali: He might not be Carly levels of demon but don’t mean you’ll find a nice word to be said, like

Tommy: put your claws away, Kit, talking Ro’s POV, Carls is my angel

Tommy: & I guarantee I’ve heard worse than she can dish from the other bitchy ballerinas who couldn’t get their 💅 in first

Tommy: simply not quaking, sorry

Ali: Just saying, if it were that easy, it’d be done by now

Tommy: just saying, I’ve not taken a turn yet

Ali: If there’s any day for luck…

Ali: It ain’t one where she’s decided to be in the worst mood ❌🍀

Tommy: I’ve only got the weekend, like

Ali: I understand her a bit better than that tah

Ali: as well as the appeal of prohibition

Ali: the more everyone weighs in on her being wrong, the more bolstered she feels in how right she actually is

Ali: one fuckboy mistake she’ll have to learn from

Tommy: & I don’t? PLEASE 🙄 No notes needed for this performance

Ali: She always gets worse when Bea comes back

Ali: I’ll be the one dealing when you all fuck off again

Tommy: I know

Tommy: so let me deal with her this time, Will, Gwen & Fi have all been here enough & they’ve got each other

Ali: Sorry, the moods catching

Tommy: She can run but the house ain’t grown any new hiding places & I remember ‘em all

Ali: She’s still small enough to fit in all the gaps and cracks, you less so

Ali: Anything is worth a shot

Ali: The party will be enough, loads of my mates are coming, yours won’t get bored 🤞

Tommy: True but when she gets in one she ain’t got the strength to get to another quick as I can 🐁🩰

Tommy: yeah, yeah the party don’t stop when I walk out, I know ☹️😏

Tommy: & Carls isn’t just my angel, she’ll save that bit of the day if needs

Ali: Tourists love St Paddy’s

Ali: and no one does it better than da

Tommy: if I were gonna disagree it’d only be to annoy him

Ali: @ the family group chat for that hilarious bants, Tommo

Tommy: 🐻👈

Tommy: 1st time I’ve used those not as a euphemism? Oh definitely

Ali: Please, you’re a couple of 🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️s

Tommy: Tah, Darling

Tommy: flattery will get you an invite to the next teddy bears picnic

Ali: Bit rude to Carly that you think that’s my type

Ali: no 🧔s here

Tommy: It’s not me trying drive a wedge, she’s invited too

Ali: Thoughtful 😏

Tommy: You shall go to the ball

Ali: Glass shoes is an idea… 🤔

Tommy: One way to keep hold of your drink or stop a fight

Ali: Me and my shoes are keeping well out of any more fights, fuck that

Tommy: What is your outfit plan then?

Ali: I’ve got all the material to construct it now, I think

Ali: See what it comes out like 🤷‍♀️✨

Tommy: Fi don’t believe you can top last year’s

Ali: I love a challenge and a chance to impress, obviously

Tommy: chop chop 😼

Tommy: shameless distraction tactic I’m throwing at you, who?

Ali: Christ knows I’m running out of time with the to-do list never ending, hey ho

Tommy: Same tbh

Tommy: we’d better get back to it 🧹🎃

Ali: Fuck being a middle kid, right? 💔

Tommy: Honestly

Ali: You know what you’re getting Rocky yet, speaking of the little shit

Tommy: Probably that bow with the glowing arrows that stick to windows & shit, he keeps seeing the ad & reckons they’ll fly over the house

Ali: Alright, going for 🥇 sib, fair play 👏

Tommy: Sure you’ll have me beat with whatever you’re planning

Ali: I’ll think of something

Ali: Once this is all out the way

Ali: If ma will let us, we’ll take him camping with his 🏹

Tommy: Once all the 🍬🍫🧁🎂🧃 hits she’ll be glad to be rid

Ali: not the baby though 🙄

Tommy: thank god for daddy’s girl, yeah?

Tommy: you’ll never lose that 👑

Ali: try as you might, yeah yeah 😉

Tommy: 😏

[riskeith]

good morning love! (or afternoon for you hehe)

deku vs kacchan part 2 is my favorite ep of the entire series actually. i’ve watch that ep so many times as well it’s just perfect. i got into them when i watched that episode actually! the voice acting god..... literally shivers. now that i think about it it might even be my favorite anime ep of all time help. i just love how bakugou lets it all out and we get to see that side of him.. the insecure scared child he tries to hide. god i could ramble about it forever idk just love it. OH YOU WATCHED THE MOVE RIGHT AFTER? a scene with bakugou and todoroki is guaranteed a good time.. and they work so well together. haha that’s such a nice coincidence tho their dynamic is great in that movie even if it’s mostly kiribaku sjsksjk. what do you think about kiribaku btw?

RIGHT!!! at least we have a couple days to decide hihi.... paimon no longer emergency snack.. only seelie. 🥴 oooh? what kind of thing have you envisioned? (if you wanna share ofc!)

i’ve seen so many people mention that!! like one of the worst parts of the game is that in the higher level you get the less there are to do.. ssjksjdk at some point all you can do is grind domains and try to level up shdkdfhdj

LEVEL 40 INTO A LEVEL 70+ FIGHT ok that’s honestly hilariously brave doesn’t she like die right away 😔 oh yeah you’ll be leveling up Again soon *praying for you*... can’t believe they don’t keep the easy bosses anymore sjdkfh that’s so rude. this game is just grind grind grind. WE NEED A BENNY STORY SO BADLY. like imagine a story with him wanting to seek out diluc because he wants to learn how to fight from a master or something like that. i saw it in a comic and i can’t stop thinking about it 😭 all of them deserve stories!!! there’s so many ways they could make it happen pls mihoyo... chongyun x xingqiu story... <333

shfkjdskdjhf nope right now i’m playing with noelle as my main damage dealer, traveller, lisa and barbara actually. so i think i have a pretty good balance atm.. 2 long range 2 short range-ish. i usually trade out barbara for another character if i have to tho, hehe. that’s only combat though ^ benny is with me when we explore. mood is me having a 5 star and not even using her... i still need to think of ways qiqi could fit into the group yk. is your group still looking the same as before? ooooh if you could rank the elements what would your ranking look like?

172!!!!! that’s a bit short though when you said tall i thought like... 190 or something sjksjdxk. wait how tall are You?

oh i just meant like... people bashing others for spending too much money on the game vs those that bash people for not spending money and complaining that they don’t get 5 star etc? idk yt comments can be so ugly though so it’s a good thing that you don’t read them sjdjdjdkd

that’s super smart!!! you just follow along the plan and delete when you come to the part. must feel so satisfying too i imagine. haha, what little notes i have i put in the notes app and just check up on when i need to. sometimes i even forget they’re there shdkdhsks. my notes are filled with half-assed dialogue or random one words notes that don’t make any sense to me anymore.. nskdhddjdj

you’re right!! so you write at night? sometimes i just open docs on my phone and write a bit before i sleep and when i wake up it’s either a grammatical mess or just... super bad hskshd the brain is simply too tired to create anything shakespeareian

nooo i’ll def check these out and let you know what i think. i’ve seen halsey being in pretty much every klance playlist on spotify so i imagine she portrays their vibes pretty nicely. doesn’t she have a song she sings about being blue and red or something... shdjfhdj such a bad description but i see it being used in edits a lot. also now that i think of it melanie has a song called pacify her that i really like!! do you like it?

THATS SO CUTE YOU ARE A CRYBABY. 🥺 same here tbh i actually like crying sometimes... sjskdjdjd like you said it just feels nice to get it all out. i cry to almost movie or series or book i read i’m a super emotional person but i also think it adds to the experience? you feel more immersed in it that way.

RIGHT??? ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! and it’s our boys 😭 and they’re cuddling 😭 under the sun 😭 ssjdjdhdjdj 😭

can’t wait to hear from you again <3 yours, ma <3

good night! more like ahhah

:o!! that’s so legendary of them wow.. <33 and yeah honestly the voice acting is phenomenal.. and all the implications behind the fight too? bakugou finally opening up? midoriya understanding that what he needs is to fight him? ugh. kiribaku is fine! fhdsjfks my brain is so full of todobaku that any other ship is really just... in the background hfskjfs but i can appreciate the relationship they have! with kiri being the only one bakugou has really acknowledged and seeing as being on the same level, that iconic hand clasp when bakugou was being rescued... i have a kiribaku fic in my drafts but idk if i can ever get to it ahha. you like them a lot right?

ikkk also i didn’t know we had to wait until the very end to buy? i have more than enough to buy it rn but when i clicked it said ‘must explore area 14 first’ and i was just... bruh. AHAHAH. okay so in my mind it’s like.. chongyun at a funky angle we’re kinda looking up at him and his body is like bent down towards us fhsdkjs idk how to describe it but i can picture it very well but i also cannot put it to paper/screen. and then his clothes are just black instead of white! HAHAH. tho i kinda wanna see if i can draw a xiao first to offer up to the gacha gods hfsdjkfs (and if i can i’ll do a version w a dark outfit too for u hehe)

legitttt im literally just logging in and grinding the talent domains every day fhsdkjfhskfhjd there are some artifacts i want as well but the domain is literally SO difficult for me fuck.

i just go in and use her skill then heal a bit and switch right away fhsdkjfsd it going alright! and then i go ham with my other 3 charas and switch back to her to heal again fhskfjd. OMGGG that’s so cute please... i miss diluc too... come back!! i wish we had a way to replay the old quests even if we get nothing out of them like i just wanna experience it again ya know.

oooo! that’s pretty nice. hfskjd you could switch barbara out for qiqi! since she’s a healer as well. omg wait you have lumine right? so your combat team has no males? legendary 😩 we love fighting queens! ya! traveller, chongyun, xiangling, fischl. and then i switch depending on the domain/boss i’m gonna fight. hmm elements I think would go: anemo, cryo, electro, pyro, hydro, geo, dendro? LMAO i reckon if i had diluc tho pyro would be higher... i also almost forgot to add geo to that list lmaooooooo oops, hbu??

I JUST SAW THE LINK.... AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! the bestest boys look how cute they’re sjdkfjdjjdd i’m obsessed. the picture where benny has his back turned sjdudjdjddnd stop. 🥺 they’re so neat. 🥺 also NO ARE YOU SERIOUS? that’s so upsetting are you gonna try it out nonetheless or do you think it’s too risky?

they’re SO neat!!! and bennett facing the other way was so fhskjfd yeah cute <3333333 I KNOWWW IM SO SAD :((( and no...... im not gonna try 😭😭😭 i told my brother about it too and he asked how many rolls i was at and i said 70 and he was straight up ‘you can’t try then’ and i was like ‘i know 😔😔’. @ xiao... i am giving up xingqiu rate up for you 😤😤😤😤 ugh i hope i can still get xingqiu in xiao’s banner tho even tho the chances will be shit. are you gonna roll ganyu’s banner?

FHSKJFSD NOOOOOO don’t tell me 172 is average for you wtf... (apparently the average male height in japan is 160cm! for reference ahah) and i myself am. one hundred and. fifty something cm hfsdjfhskjdfhskdjfhw9uehdsifhwsdkjfhsdkfhsd 😔 big sighs lmaoooooooo. how tall are you? (im assuming much taller 😔😔😔😔😔)

ooh notes app? nice ahaha. fhdkjfhskfsk hdthat’s the mood tho! if i don’t have my laptop with me i’ll write out everything on notes first then transfer to my laptop~

AHAHAH yeahhh i think mostly i do? bc during school times i’ll only write after i’m done with my work which = night time. for a while Peak writing time for me was like 1am lmfao but i do that in a like half-asleep half-conscious state so when i come back the next day at a “normal” time i run into the same issue as you fshdfkjshfs

she does!!! it’s called colours 😩 but i think the one i related to voltron most is control! there was this really good shiro edit with that song i still remember it to this day <3 yeah i do!!! i like most of melanie’s songs actually ahahah. i think my favourite for a while was show and tell~

it totally does!! like it’s satisfying as well you know... like the characters have gone through so much and you experienced that with them so it’s natural to get emotional about it. that reminds me, what kind of books do/did you read? did you read all Those YA novels ahah talking about crying has reminded me how i cried reading those..

<333 i wanna be there with them 😩 actually no i want to BE them 😩😩😩

eager for your response <33 love, c.r.

[taeyongbestboi]

Okay, so i just took a nap and had the most fanfic / wattpad dream EVER like idek anymore.

It goes like this

I was on a music show concert and one of the artist in the line up was nct dream (we young era OMG THEY’RE SO TINY) and i decided to buy a more expensive seating section, while my friends bought the cheaper one (it was 50 thousand rupiah and mine costed 75 thousand rupiah). It was kinda like “Spotify on Stage” or something, so they’re cheap.

Anyway, idk why but i decided to bring my dog with me and he’s just running all over the place and i noticed that the venue itself wasn’t really crowded (idk why either) and my dog accidentally went to the venue (that time the gate wasn’t even opened) and i took a peek inside and it wasn’t that big. It has 2 levels and apparently, my ticket was idk what happened but i should be on the main section (1st floor) but ended up being on the 2nd level on the LEFT WING jeez. So all of my friends went in first, they all got to the 2nd floor, leaving me and my dog behind and i patiently waited for my section’s gate to be opened.

And so, it finally open. There wasn’t anyone going to my section and i was going in alone (?) pretty weird huh. And so i sat down, kinda near the railing or a wall (the railing or wall is on my right) and who knows where my dog went but he just wasn’t with me anymore (its a dream, relax)

AND SUDDENLY

CHRISTOPHER FREAKING BANG WAS SITTING BESIDES ME.

I’m laughing rn

So he sat down. Lemme describe his physical appearance and look in DETAILS.

He’s wearing a black tshirt (duh, his usual), his hair’s blonde (MY UTMOST FAV), and he’s wearing silver jewelries like a bracelet and also skz’s necklace. He’s so pale jeeeeeeez omg and doesn’t wear that much makeup lol. You know guys, i can LITERALLY feel that he’s besides me. Creepy right omg what kind of dream

And, he’s gorgeous. Guys, he’s so gorgeous :”) i feel like crying right now

AND THEN WE TALK. WE TALKED LMAO

Okay, so i can only remember some, so it goes like this

“Whoa, aren’t you Bang Chan from Skz?”

“Yeah that’s me” and he laughed

AND THIS DREAM WAS SO MADE SENse like HE’S AUSTRALIAN AND HE SPEAKS ENGLISH AND PLEASE IMAGINE

“Wow, what are you doing here?”

“Idk, just seeing a concert, being like a normal people”

Up to this point, only two things went weird. 1st is that i have no idea where my dog went, 2nd idek which country i’m in rn. How is bangchan here watching the same show with me?

After that i just went “ahhh” while nodding and i actually told him that i want to this section alone cos apparently my friends r on another section so i’m thankful that he sits besides me.

And he got closer, talk into my ear (cos the concert’s starting) and said “you’re most welcome”

AND HE ALSO THANKED ME FOR TREATING HIM LIKE A NORMAL GUY AND NOT AS A CELEBRITY

And i did the same :/ i lean in and said “anytime”

AND

AMDISNJZSIUAKKZISB I CANT

THIS PART MAKES ME GO BOOOOOM BOOOOOOM

i’m writing this with the biggest and dumbest smile on my face dang

He said that he got kinda shy after i spoke right into his ear like that (cos we’re too close)

AND I LITERALLY WENT “NOOOO DON’T SAY THAT” and blushed hard damn boy

AND HE’S ALL CUTE AND GIDDY WHILE SAYING THAT???? U KNOW WHEN HE’S GIDDY? A giant fluff ball indeed.

Okay, so then we ended up enjoying the concert together like we’re homies. We laughed, we cheered (i cheered for the dreamies tho lol) and our shoulders would often met and we’ll laugh about it omg it was heavenly

At one point i realised that it was just a dream and i have the audacity to think “well, even if it’s just a dream, make it last” WOW I’M SO COOL LMAO

And the show ends and i forgot whether it’s before the show or after the show but Chan actually asked me out. LIKE HAHAHAHHAHA HE ASKED ME OUT YAS GURL U HEARD ME RIGHT

He said, “why don’t we hang out a little?”

And i was like :0 “o-okay...”

Well i mean, i wouldn’t mind tho??? ITS CHRISTOPHER FREAKING BANG

AHHHHHH AND AND AND I ALSO TOLD HIM (at one point on our convo before the show starts) that i actually like him and that he’s one of my bias in skz and he was like “oh, really??” And i was like “bruh, i watched your show on Januari 2019 in Jakarta!!” And we laughed (again) and he seemed happy to know that i’m a stay

Back to the topic where he asked me out and i said yes and we exchanged our contacts i forgot it was our numbers or sns? Idk i don’t remember.

ONE DAY, he really picked me up y’all. I cant anymore

So apparently, we’re in my country, in my city, basically my territory. And in this dream, i wasn’t super rich, my family was actually struggling to live. And i live in this tall but old building, alongside my neighbours who were as poor as us. We live in flats, yes, that’s the word. And the building we’re living in is actually my church building irl so it felt super real.

The one who picked me up was actually his driver. I have to pick Chan somewhere in the city. After that we decided to grab some meal and we start throwing each other silly questions

Me: “well, what’s your fav food?”

Him: “rice.” WHILE SMIRKING LIKE ????

Me: “bruh, we’re asian!! We eat rice!” I laughed

And he laughed

Akxjdndkdisnkzjdbaksj naui simjang

Me: “okay, what is your fav food OTHER than rice?”

And after that i cant remember anything anymore (about the convo :))

I also can’t remember where we had lunch, this 2nd half of my dream is just us inside his car

Then we talked about a lot of things. I remember telling him a lot about my story (i just cant remember the exact things i told him, nothing really absurd though just my interests n stuffs), and he would too, and just like that back and forth. The ambience was nice, and relaxing. That time i really felt time has stopped because irl i need to deal with quite a lot if things (that include my thesis, the struggle to keep on going as my parent’s business wasn’t in the prettiest shape due to covid-19, and other stuffs). And the fact that i really need someone to talk to atm makes the dream 1000000000000% better.

So, it was the time for us to finally call it a day. And i know by heart that after all of this end, i wouldn’t be able to meet him again. How could i? I have experienced a full day hang out with the precious Christopher Bang, i couldn’t ask for more right? It was more than enough for me and i’ll continue to be his ordinary fan. On our way back to where i live, we kinda became quite. As if none of us wanted it to end.

And

Omg i said the word ‘and’ like a thousand times now

Okay so

Listen

It was 15 minutes away from where i live, so our meeting would soon come to an end.

And he suddenly pulled out some kind of a recorder or a music player idk it has a can-like-shape, and start playing a track.

It was an unreleased track. About a girl who make his heart goes warm, someone who supports him for who he is.

I nearly cried writing this guys

And he asked me to listen to it

And i did

And i was like “chan, this is beautiful”

And U KNOW THE FEELING

OF AN INEVITABLE GOODBYE

THAT ANGSTY FEELING

INSIDE YOUR GUT

I FEEL THAT

*cries*

The song is beautiful. The lyrics, the melody, everything’s perfect.

I managed to listen to it twice, but i cant remember how it sounds like. But it was BEAUTIFUL. Trust me on this.

And i just remembered, THE SONG IS IN FREAKIN KOREAN. I cant speak korean :”) but i understands EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. Dreams r cool

And he got all giddy again with his goofy smile, and somehow my brain process it to:

‘Chan wrote that song a long time ago, probably. Well, definitely before we met. He’s now showcasing it to me and the lyrics clicked and maybe i’m the girl in the lyrics’

I don’t wanna make it sound like it’s all about me (even tho it’s my dream :”)) so i asked him

“This song is about stays, right?”

And he answered

“Well, you’re a stay right? So, yes.”

OKAY :”””””””

I feel like he felt that our meeting was destined, even though we’ll never gonna see each other again after this, we know that both of us are grateful for this meeting.

Omg i really hope that i’ll dream like that again tonight

OH SIS I’M NOT DONE YET.

So, we arrived at my place. He parked the car and i was still listening to the song and when it came to its end, IDK WHY but (please forgive me for this idek what i’m doing) and i somehow REACHED FOR HIS ABS? TRAILED IT ALL THE WAY UP WITH MY RIGHT PALM (Jesus, forgive me), and then we

Kissed.

Yes. Just like that.

And the next thing that i remember is that he accompany me until i’m outside my flat, and people on my neighbourhood wondered who’s the guy (cos he looked rich and handsome) LMAO

And then i wake up.

This is one of the few dreams that i remember that has a nice ending. The nap ends when the dream ends. It was sooooooo satisfying!

——————————————————————————

Okay thank you for listening to my unimportant story :”) i do hope one day you’ll get a sweet sweet dream of your bias just like me. Have a good day, y’all!