#nothing i say is mine now
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Listen, this is a pretty hopeless vent below. i am rational and know things are going to keep working and laws are getting drafted, but a vent is a vent.
And I felt pretty hopeless.
Don't you feel terrified that even to your best abilities, AI can generate something arguably better, economically viable? Doesn't it make shivers down to your bones knowing your 20 or so years of efforts are now worth pennies, and the future you planned os now only the next 5 years until it's fully trained?
Doesn't it scare you that people who pay to use it are paying to have the privilege to train it and soon enough they too will be replaced? That artistry is one of the most ancient works, a millenary job, the expression of human existence, and it's now commodified with the blood and sweat of every artist that existed before? That those artists, the dead and alive ones, never ever and never would agree with their work being used like this? And that there's people who rejoice on the misery they feel?
That the joy of seeing a new art is dead because you have to make sure you're supporting a real person? That the smile is replaced with a double take, a zoom in on the features?
The complete destruction of the search engines that both show and spit out nonsense, for the untrained eye to be unable to know the reality they love in, as well of the past they'll never get to fully understand, because a machine who knows nothing generated some Greek art? Indigenous? Fake animals? Fake political mishaps?
Doesn't it make you cry that you'll never have money to throw at the problem because your enemy has more money alone than all of the 99% living humans on this earth at this moment? That they're happy never to ever hire an artist again? A voice actor? A designer?
That my dream was once to sell my art on DeviantArt and recently they congratulated the biggest seller they had, who's now an AI generator that makes ladies with big boobs.
That other people who don't know my grief tell me to "adapt" and "use it too" so I won't be forgotten?
To make me wonder how people once made the most beautiful lace by hand and now it's worth less than what I breathe and that's now my future?
That once art brought me joy and now it makes me wonder for how long can I keep doing it?
#its extremely negative#yo see friends and family share that stuff and they dont know#the fake facebook ads#the scammy “share my art” posts that are just content farms#the misery of everyone around me#it's everywhere#its on this fucking samsumg tab#its on thos fuckin phone#i uses my art and charges me for it#nothing i say is mine now
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#doctor who unleashed#:'))))#ok i've been making gifs on and off all day today#i should stop now lmao#my first weekend in a while where i have had nothing to do and nowhere to go#and i can finally just think about dw in peace!!!!!!#anyways i love him!!! and i love dw unleashed!!!!#i hope my work week goes by quickly and then it'll be saturday again woohoooo#but then that also means saying goodbye to the doctor and donna again....... ;A;
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im gonna start killing
#im not gonna start killing im gonna throw up actually#i will strangle charlie and mariana for ruining my life in particular. only mine im the only special one here#they make me sick they're terrible im gonnaaaaa 👊👊👊👊👊👊#rip flippa also#now how do i tag this oh god--#qsmp#slimecicle#charlie slimecicle#el mariana#????#help#my art#sketch#i *probably* wont draw much for qsmp. i hope.#maybe just a couple designs here and there but nothing *real*#ughghghhg#also why are there 94 pages on ao3 for qsmp. wtf guys it started not so long ago. like. i get it. but 94???????????????? bruh#dont aks what i was doing on ao3 im starving for charlie/mariana content#i probably shouldn't say this in the tags under this post but uhhh uhhhhhhhhh uhhhh
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Oyster, origami, one square of paper. Loosely modelled on the black-lip pearl oyster.
#mine#origami#oyster#oystermash#original model by Roberto Morassi you can find the diagram in#Modelli di Roberto Morassi p. 35#I say loosely modelled bc his own is just I suspect one of those generic 'pearl let loose on a scallop shell' type of imagery#now i have nothing against bathroom decor tackiness (evidently)#but I did want smth a bit closer to nature#I chose this type of oyster specifically bc I needed one with a round shell given the model I have and this one happened to be there#also I saw a cool picture of the flesh inside it so I had to recreate that with the additional folds created by the pearl#anyway enjoy! personally I think this fucks
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THE TERROR (2018) S01E03 "The Ladder"
There'll be nothing. You hear? Nothing lives there. Nothing grows. You'll eat your shoes again. You'll eat worse.
#the terror#theterroredit#the terror amc#amc the terror#tvedit#tvgifs#sir john franklin#francis crozier#silna the terror#lady silence#cornelius hickey#james fitzjames#henry goodsir#william gibson#fitzier#mine#gif:terror#im giffing these while watching this show only for the second time and theres so much stuff i forgot/noticing only now#i really loved the moment where francis and sir john have that talk in this ep (about sending a rescue party)#and james was listening behind the door. possibly hearing all the arguments francis made that were very reasonable#so he might have finally more understand him despite saying nothing after that conversation. with either francis or sir john#and then francis returned to his ship with the plan of leading the rescue party himself. telling blanky that 'erebus has a spare captain'#i just really liked that. francis knowing what james can be capable of even without sir john. and by the episode well..#its a necessity to step up#yeah im glad i finally gave this show a chance#tw blood#tw gore
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so I was digging through the Vast Legally Grey Junkyards of the Internet in search of better quality footage from AoU for my edits, specifically the scene with the CA FASCIST grafitti in Sokovia—which I unfortunately didn't find, but what I DID find was a bunch of deleted/expanded scenes that I didn't know/didn't care enough to pay attention to before. Which is fine. Most of it is techno babble and rushed plot setup. However. This stupid-ass ten second clip makes me literally insane. It makes me. Want to kill and maim and chew on the bars of my enclosure. And not in the sense that the contents make me oh-so-emotional, but because the potential of them could. Because what do you mean.
What do you mean those four and a half lines were cut for pacing/time when it's a ten second difference and the rest of the scene is in the film anyway. What do you mean you cut it because it didn't fit the narrative. It's literally couched in two minutes of plot it could've been so easy to slip it in there. A passing reference that would add at least a smidgen of depth to both the (already fucking incomprehensible) plot + politics of the antagonists, and to one of the main fucking characters. Like you were SO close what do you mean you cut every feeble attempt that was made to scratch the surface of Steve's character outside the whole nightmare scene we're supposed to feel so bad about what do you MEAN.
The fact that this minimal exchange—paired with that graffiti scene where Steve is confronted with the actual legacy of Captain America and what he's come to mean to people around the world and then quite physically discards the identity + him still circling back to the mantle at the end of the film anyway because he doesn't know how to do or be anything else, feels like he's too changed for this idea of a normal life that stems from before the war and the ice and doesn't know how to live without carrying that, without being useful in this one specific way—has more meat on its bones in the whole lead up to Civil War and ultimately Endgame than half of this movie's sledgehammer-over-the-head lines about home and family with Barton's kids laughing in the background or whatever like some fucked up C list hallmark movie is downright infuriating to me because like. You clearly thought about it. It passed through your head. You wrote some version of it into the scene. You shot it and edited it and watched it a few times and then you went "nah off it goes to the cutting room floor, we have enough of that. Add those seven and a half seconds to the 20-minute long, entirely CGI Hulk sequence, that we need more of. Surely that will fix the pacing issue".
Side note: this is me not even getting into the fact that, at this point in the franchise, this would have been one of the few lines we'd get of Maria actually saying something or interacting with anyone in a way that is even marginally removed (which this barely is) from simply delivering plot information. This is the only time we kinda get her view on something or even an inkling that she used to be a goddamn intelligence agent. And how that history informs her view of the situation and how it could possibly clash with Steve's own. And that woman is in every fucking movie. (Not to mention the fact that the two of them were just in a movie together, for Christ's sake, and going through something together you could pretty fairly characterize as traumatic and bond-inspiring to boot—and in AoU we can barely tell they even know each other. I mean the bar is so low and they still managed to limbo right under it.)
#listen I know there's a thousand and one technical reasons why it might've been cut but honestly truly frankly I don't give them the benefi#of the doubt that that was the case.#why am I yelling about this again? YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE#just never fails to surprise me all over again how little effort was actually put into Steve's character development in some of these#that is ultimately supposed to be the meat behind all of those “now you should feel for this character look ain't he sad!" scenes#but seeing as how we get nothing the rest of the time those just do not fucking land. and it extends all the way to his fumbed ass ending#obv it's not just steve it's 90% of their characters but I can only yell about so much at a time#and I really don't wanna go off on a full anti MCU rant like who's got the time or energy and also what is the point lol who cares#anyway this is entirely incoherent and I'm not saying anything new but I just needed to say fuck OFF joss whedon jesus christ#this movie could've been decent it was literally the best positioned in the series to be decent. and yet#delete later#max.txt#age of ultron#steve rogers
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Is there anything more weak than the attempt to shut down all media analysis and critique by appealing to a "everything is valid and different! Stop making it a pissing match," point of view? Either the stories are "too different" to compare and contrast, or they're "ultimately all fma so why should we fight". Maybe some people can't get it through their heads, but disagreement, venting amongst those who feel similarly, and critique are not inherently a fight.
And I'm sorry, but "breaking the cycle of violence" is a shit trope to tack onto a plot that uses a genocide and ethnic cleansing as its foundation, with heaping layers of "those poor little war criminals, stop being mean to them" to add insult to bad storytelling.
#now that being said when people say some out of pocket shit then they better be able to handle talkback#yes this is a vague post#yes i'm bored to tears seeing endless appeals to ''leave mangahood alone'' from broho people especially#your fave media isn't untouchable and some of us simply won't treat it that way rip#i don't care if someone likes 03 too or is chill with 03 enjoyers because! critique! is! not! an! attack!#mine#wait i'm not done#y'all have a very rosey view of the supposed tranquility of the broader online fandom#because 03 people largely have to stick to discord or other smaller/silo'd avenues to talk about the show#without having unending shit dished at them for simply liking 03 (even if they say nothing about or against mangahood)#and listen: analyze/dislike/critique 03 all you want. that's not the problem#the problem is how a lot of mangahood fans treat anyone who even dares talk about 03 or thinks dislikes their fave show/manga#yes this is all ridiculous but you lot are identifying the wrong things as the problem!#vent
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 3#yakuza series#yakuza 3#yoshitaka mine#snap sketches#i was thinking about all the weird mine variants that exist and theres more than i thought there was#i JUST wanted to do suit variants tho none of the extra okinawa and new year rggo cards. and a bare variant#because i can ...... also cause i needed to exercise the knowledge that his plushie's undies are white SOMEHOW#funny enough the only time i like properly assembled mines colors was on my kirin mine sheet so yay for a semiproper color sheet#anyway. the grey suit's inspo'd from the date scene in y3- that shot with him and kanda#i chose a brown tie to act as an in-between transition from blue tie to gold tie#the rggo cards are forever funny to me but while i was drawing these i remembered that for some reason#with the newest card mine's sleeve is. white ???????? its white .#i only realized this after posting these to twitter so if you saw this there first and are like 'girl his sleeve changed color'#Thats Why <- literally no one is thinking that#ok i have nothing else to say probably im gonna eat one more bowl of pasta then go to bed#i keep mentioning kirin mine so maybe ill doodle one of my things with that tomorrow ..#if not i have stuff i wanna draw tomorrow so if im not tired after grocery shopping Theres That To Look To#ok bye its pasta time <- has decided to make pasta my personality for june#oh my god wait its june now jesus christ. yeah happy pride month ive finally drawn mine again#ok bye bye pasta's calling my name
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nobody warns you about the cold takes your brain will come up with when you're even slightly self conscious about your art/writing. it's like "hey this stranger has a story that has [element 1] and [element 2] in it, which basically just makes it the story you came up with, but better. and everyone is going to ignore your story and only engage with this other one because it's better. and yours sucks by comparison. so you shouldn't even try. btw have you considered never creating ever again?" like okay maybe I'll just never interact with people or the fandom or anyone else again ever because that's a sane and rational way to cope with this. ok.
#muzz mumbles#UUGHGHH#i know it's a delusional mindset i know it is a fear founded in nothing at all and rooted in my own self esteem issues#but goddamnnnnn does it make creating difficult#because now my brain is like. well what's the point of writing your story in the first place#and i'm like BECAUSE IT'S MINE. BECAUSE IT'S SPECIAL TO ME#BECAUSE I WANT TO READ IT#AND I WAS PROUD OF IT ONCE. I WAS PROUD OF IT BEFORE.#and my brain goes ''Did someone say something? no? must have been the wind. anyway back to wanting to kill ourselves''#punching holes in the walls and eating through the drywall LET ME OUT OF HEREEEEEEE#vent#delete later
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silly doodle for my fursona since i made her 11 years ago today :-)
#my art#YAAAAY KADEN BIRTHDAY#featuring her new design bc i keep forgetting to update her ref#ive been a furry for 11 years. isnt that something LMAO#im on fall break now!!! doing a lot of recharging bc the few days before break have been making me wanna eat my keyboard#< nothing crazy bad going on its just the work im doing being super annoying + dealing with a weird bout of imposter syndrome#BUT ANYWAY!!! happy birthday kaden. kissing his big head#i have a couple of things i wanna do for my next tattoo/its just a matter of committing but i Do want to get a cat#< I DO WANNA NOTE kaden and i have dif birthdays :-) mine was at the end of october hehe#but i do draw kaden on my birthday bc he is me but he is also Not Me . but he is. yk LOL#tattoo somewhere to honor kaden. just a standard shorthair/nothing that necessarily reads that im a furry#or the cat having her design bc it changes every now and then bahaha#AND LIKE IM VERY CERTAIN I WANT A CAT TATTOO FOR KADE LOL shes been a staple of my life for Eleven Whole Years#and shes helped me accept parts of myself. bc if i gave her the traits i had/have and i still loved her. then i could love me too#and that has drastically helped with So Much and my therapist says thats actually#a great therapy tool. forget the exact wording but the idea is there#everyone make a fursona now. ur homework is making a fursona and loving them. and then loving urself
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I think we should just bring back Wungo Wednesday and start a fandom collective anime rewatch
#Because otherwise I can feel I won't last much longer#Because like. The last two hyperfixations of mine ended the moment I started feeling like there wasn't any new content#And two days ago in one day I started a new manga a new book and rewatching a favourite show#Whereas I hadn't started anything new in the two years ever since I got into bsd. Which makes it NOT a good sign#But the bsd anime has now ended for one month and 25 days and that's the last time the plot actually moved forward.#And if I counted right. The manga took 4 chapters (that is chapters 110-111) to adapt 6 minutes#That means it's going to take another 12 months (18 minutes left to adapt. that's 12 more chapters) to catch up with the anime#Yeah I'm not. sticking around this long with nothing new to see I'm sorry#Best case scenario I take a one year hiatus but that doesn't make it sound likely that I'll be back#And I know it's fresh news as early as this morning that author said they were introducing a new character but like.#They also said they finished writing this arc like. One year and half ago if I remember correctly?#And we still have yet to see the end of i t so...#That is to say. I'll probably be starting an anime rewatch starting next Wednesday. I've been meaning to do it for a while anyway#I don't want to leave the fandom I like the one chapter a month format#On the positive news I still have a queue of original posts that spans over ten months#And I was meaning to start the reblogs queue too in these days. So there's that#random rambles
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I'm so mad that so far the only good robin!jason content i've ever found is his original run. Everything i've seen since has just been making him out to be the Angry Bad Problem Child and victim blaming him for dying. How is it that the only fucking good characterization of him is 20 issues from the 1980s
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#jaybin#robin jason todd#i love jaybin so much but by god there is no fucking content#ppl are just obsessed w making him out to be Bad and Angry to make him becoming red hood make more sense in their heads#look thats what he was always going to be. that what he was always on the track for. look at how angry and unstable he was#SHUT UPPP#from comics anything told to me abt his time as robin after his death means nothing to me#everyone has a different version of canon in their mind and mine will never include a single bit of info abt jaybin said after his death#i have the most horrible brainrotting ''he would not fucking say that'' abt jaybin. nobody gets him like i dooo#<- said as someone who has been angry and problematic and difficult since a young age bc of trauma and mental illness and shit#AND JASON WASNT EVEN HALF AS BAD AS ME#im gonna go reread his og robin run. my safe space#sorry im being soooo annoying abt jaybin rn i just. i love him#i feel like most people only see jaybin as the precursor to red hood#jaybin is only worth something as the backstory of red hood#which like. its fine to like the red hood version of him most#but i like jaybin :( he's my robin. like if there's a robin in a story i'd want it to be jason#so many fics would be sooo good to me if they did not unnecessarily have jason arguing with bruce abt the no-kill thing while STILL ROBIN??#like what are we doing thereeee#ok sorry im done being annoying and venty and whiny now
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Let me start by saying hi I have physical nerve damage and couldn’t handle the recoil of any firearm probably and I literally don’t have a 3D printer or a license for firearms. I think more of these bastards should be scared of the potential consequences of their accumulated blood money. I’m crippled as fuck with nerve damage in my good arm and a bit in my neck just to be clear so legally and genuinely physically speaking I ain’t doing shit & I also have literally no firearm training, never paid for any training, and cannot get access to it as far as I know anywhere locally. I just like seeing rich people as scared as we are every god damn fucking day; it’s like a breath of fresh air in this capitalist Hell hole.
#just putting that massive disclaimer in there because it’s true and I also gotta get my hand checked out for a weird thing going on#with the skin of my palm that hasn’t spread but ya a weird texture and I’m like mmm :/ it’s not going away like it did months ago damn#anyway eat the rich#Luigi mangione isn’t the actual shooter this is all one big setup and framing with planted evidence#free Luigi and the Florida woman! they did nothing wrong!!#love people saying we should get a Luigi for this even though it’s not the same guy it’s just a fun thing to say now#mine#op#uhc ceo#united healthcare#current events#2024#c slur#tw c slur#cw c slur
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rewatching ofmd s1 and I'm absolutely blown away by how much Jim comes into themselves by the end of season two. Knowing the character they become its really stunning to see how disengaged and cynical they are at the start of it all.
Their motivations are almost entirely reactive, to escape Spanish jackie and then to live out their nanas dream of justice. The while time they are in survival mode, moving quickly and efficiently and quietly. Ultimately, moving how they were trained to and nothing else. Because it works! It works so well that I didn't consider something might be missing.
But in season two they're made to be messy, loud. They are stuck on Ed's Breakdown Ship and so have to act differently than they ever have. Not just because they are yelling and screaming and covered in blood cutting a guys leg off, either. They're connecting and caring and critiquing and supporting, they're emotionally engaged in a real way that they very much weren't in season 1. Every day on Ed's ship is horrible, but at least they're present for it. Every day pushes them to be in survival mode but they refuse. They tell fang a story, they kiss Archie back. When Ed says "kill or die" they say "no."
And then, after all that, when they finally get to rest again? Yeah, it's a rough transition, but once they get through it they're absolutely fucking teeming with life. They're painting on a mustache, they're creating conspiracies, they're crossing boundaries to get olus girlfriend back. When the dust settles Jim is inhabiting themselves in a way we haven't seen in the show previously. There is a richness to their character that feels incredibly natural and earned, to the point that I didn't even notice it until I went back to season one and realized how lost they were.
Its pretty obvious that this show is about Ed and stedes collective mid life crisis, but it wasn't until now that I realized its also Jim's coming of age
#Which is to say NOTHING of the gender of it all#ofmd season 2#Ofmd#Jim Jimenez#I was starting to think I wouldn't write any meta for this season#And then#Mine#Ofmd meta#I have s1ep4 paused halfway thru rn because this swept through me like a hurricane#I will take my attention now thank you 🫴🫴
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And now my art has been reposted on tiktok, have I finally made it as a creator? 🥺 But like seriously my god, I didn't think I had to say but don't repost??????? I think I've been pretty safe from it cause I normally just draw AU art but ahh making relevant art, it's a dangerous game....I just yeah, don't necessarily know what to do about it, but yeah just don't please?
#i have so much sympathy for all the gifmakers on here getting reposted and i totally understand#but art?????? art now????????? you cannot even make the same 'its easy' argument as with gifs/clips#because i literally made that from my head 😭😭😭😭#sorry i just dont wanna sound like im saying 'your reposting woes arent as bad as mine!!' more just: i am aghast#its not okay even if you credit bcs bruh i dont want my art out there#it was for all my vettonso fuckers on here 🥺#i just dont understand it like not even asking at all just crediting#wow thanks. that makes it so much better. wow.#ITS MY SHIP ART I DO NOT WANT THAT ON TIKTOK!!!! even if it was just normal art!!! no thank you!!!!!!#and being credited is almost worse bcs bruh the 'skitskatdacat63 from tumblr' THIS IS MY SAFE PRIVATE SPACE OKAY#thank you to grace for telling me <3 i really appreciate it#ugh i wanna make like a direct callout but i hate confrontation(thank you for the support tho cofi lmao)#but i will complain!#it just really sucks that i have to say this#its also really not any of you guys. i trust all my friends 100% 🥺 so i hate that i have to say this yknow#but UGHHHHHH PISSES MW OFF SO MUCH#and also. it was a shitpost 😭 pick better art to repost(joke)#but the way my heart dropped when i saw 😭 im like. is nothing sacred anymore?#catie.rambling.txt
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Im crazy about the way they framed this like sam was poisoning his mind
#I need to write a meta about oh my god i want to read others meta about this it's just so ...#spectacularly played off in this subtle gesture to the viewer way you're supposed to root for sam#but he's ostensibly demonstrating a willingness to morally descend and then you second guess yourself bc that's surely not how sam operates#and suddenly you (and dean) find yourself on sam's side parroting what he says fully convinced of it#now you both are sure dean did nothing wrong this entire time the mark doesn't make you more of who you are no#it makes you a whole different person & all the people dean killed/beat up were blowups unrelated to the innately good helpless perpetuater#bc he's as much of a victim as everyone else and you're so deeply gaslighted there's no possible comeback from it#and sam is left the only one remembering what reality undistorted was like anymore#samdean#mine#spn meta in tags#sam winchester#dean winchester
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