#not trying to start shit
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I've been replaying parts of the HL2 series over the last few weeks, and I was recently struck by one of Alyx's lines from Episode 1:
"Hey – an airduct. I've heard stories about you and airducts. Doctor Kleiner says whenever he locked himself out of his office you and Barney used to compete to see who could get in fastest without using a key."
I feel like it's significant here that Alyx heard this story from Dr. Kleiner, rather than from Barney himself. If Alyx had grown up around Barney or he'd "practically raised her," as so many people like to claim, why wouldn't he have told her this himself? Why wouldn't Alyx have said as much to Gordon?
For silly fandom ship discourse purposes, I feel like this is pretty compelling proof that Alyx and Barney barely know each other in canon. Contradictory headcanons are fine and good (and I've indulged in plenty of them myself), but anyone who tries to claim that Valve intended for us to see Barney as a huge figure in Alyx's life or an "uncle" or otherwise part of her "found family" is straight up pulling that out of their ass.
For broader fandom speculation purposes, this only reinforces my belief that we're not likely to see Barney again, even if we get another HL game at some point in the future. Valve doesn't have any grand backstory in mind for him. He's a glorified tutorial agent who's served his purpose. At least in canon, he's barely a blip on our latest protagonist's radar.
And maybe that's for the best.
#half life#maintagging this because I think it's interesting#not trying to start shit#I'm sure I'm not the first person to notice this but I'm posting anyway#also oh hey the voice files on combine overwiki are working again!#alyx vance#barney calhoun
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I saw a piece of Meta about Croc the other day and was vibing with it until they said "maybe he had a wife in the past—" and I literally
Because I literally forgot not everyone headcanons him as gay/bi/queer+male-attracted in some way. I was startled.
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Why is it that 9/10 times when I’m suggested grelle fan art it’s an anti? 🤔
#not trying to start shit#but like really#how can you be an anti and like someone who murdered people including their own partner#all bc she was ‘boring’?#I don’t see anything wrong with loving grelle#but hypocritical much?
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#anon about anti-rntm#i knoooow#but i don’t want to post#not trying to start shit#also the author is still around!#she reads/comments on fics all the time!
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If you carefuly read the first two lines of my post, you'll see that it's not about trying to pitch it to people, it's about being able to say something about it, anything in fact. Which I did. Both about the gameplay and the narrative.
I also don't like advertising it as a time loop game, because the process of figuring out that it's not a funky loading process - your character actually remembers your playthrough - is also an experience that shouldn't be taken for granted. It got taken away from me by my complete inability to avoid spoilers, and, having later gotten that experience secondhand a couple of times, I value it as a narrative element much more now.
I keep seeing people say "play Outer Wilds, no, I can't tell you anything about it". Bitch. It's an exploration game about astronauts fucking around in space, doing archeology, astrology astronomy and science, with the gameplay itself consisting mostly of navigation in various 3D spaces with your legs or your trusty spaceship. There are interesting characters and tantalizing mysteries. It will require a fair bit of reading and thinking, it will sometimes test your speed, reflexes and precision. The story is about curiosity, courage, compassion, music, death, rebirth, and the terrifying vastness of space. The game can induce agoraphobia, claustrophobia, fear of heights, fear of depths and that which is unseen or hidden. Your character has four eyes and can roast marshmallows on any bonfire. Bitch.
#ramblings#not trying to start shit#i just don't like being misinterpreted#there are so many funky things about the game#that you can certainly talk about that won't lower new players' enjoyment#that was my issue
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Council of lovefools.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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hhhnhhghgjjghgugujgutuutghn piskin……..
#dedicated to the one time i didn’t realise my game broke during the bomb defusing cutscene#and i just spent like 30 seconds just staring at pliskin’s profile and swooning#i’ve been trying to study ashley woods’s style so bad bc i love it anf omg i forgot that painting loosely can be so fun#anyways#im back bitches#i have some work to finish but im free from school for a month after which i will die yet again#i finished mgs2 last night and holy shit. i think i need to keep staring at a wall to comprehend wtf i watched#but omg i loved it so much such a great game will be thinking about it forever!!!#can’t wait to start mgs3 and meet bibo and his blonde army#yayyy yippeee#have a good day!#iroquois pliskin#pliskin#solid snake#snavid#metal gear#metal gear solid#mgs2#ok bye
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Ugh I'll never understand why people like/d so much Tony Stark in the MCU. I just go -. - (indifferent) in the movies and usually can't stand him in fic, bc they exaggerate everything I don't like in fanon. Sorry I don't care about the rich guy demanding everything is about him. Yes he has good intentions or whatever, I still don't care for his chara much.
#my thoughts#tony stark#mcu#Not trying to start shit#Just tagging for my blog#Respect to those who like him#But he's not for me#And I don't understand why are so many people who were obsessed with him
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Mhin accidentally walks in on mc changing:
#trying something new#basically a souped up shit post#I really just wanted to draw the last expression but then I started thinking about what would’ve made them make it and-#touchstarved#touchstarved game#touchstarved mhin#touchstarved fanart#my art
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"Wow...I know how much you hate musicals."
#symbrock#venom the last dance#venom 3 spoilers#Venom being genuinely surprised by Eddie agreeing to do something he hates#“we have no secrets”#bruh#i bet that symbiote felt the depression vibrating off Eddie so bad its cells started splintering apart#but I also felt like this was the symbiote trying to cheer Eddie up by being silly like it did in LTBC with the breakfast#Eddie's just such an espresso-depresso because his whole life went to shit and he's craving the love he thought he lost#dumbass doesn't realize he's had it all along#the unfiltered love this symbiote has for its host is actually so pure#goodnight i'm going insane over these two
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my adventures with superman turning deathstroke the fucking terminator into an anime twink is the single greatest thing i've seen in the history of animation i have not been able to stop laughing
#personal#my adventures with superman#honestly the second this guy showed up with his hair covering an eye i started wondering if t'was slade#and it is! it's twink slade! i had to pause the episode to try and stop giggling#i do love it i do love twink slade i think he should be a recurring character#with his white hair and his gold eye god bless him#also how early is this supposed to be in his career he is getting his shit absolutely rocked by livewire#(makes sense he does repeatedly get his ass handed to him by teenagers including his own children)#(but still come on twink slade)#he is hot tho i'm immediately on board with him being in this show
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I think Deadpool and Wolverine 2 should start with them beating the shit out eachother in some nondescript field, just going full tilt completely mauling eachother
And then we see colossus come out the mansions back doors and he starts yelling about them ruining the lawn
#and they stop fighting to start yelling at him#or they ignore him too caught up in their game#and they only stop when one of their fav teen girls comes out to yell at them#they are in full suits and everything btw#like it really looks like they are trying to kill eachother in the beginning#but they were just playing <3#just roughhousing <3#I don’t like it when people call it sparring#because bestie that is not sparing#that is full on beating the shit out of eachother#and you are doing them a disservice to dumb it down to sparring#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#deadpool#deadclaws#oooo the girls fighting#they are actually fighting#yeah I get that Logan probably wouldn’t go anywhere near the mansion#by this is funny#so fuck off#like that one part in age of ultron#where Tony is like#that guy has no respect for yard care
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Speely baby!!!
woah I meant sleepy
Feelin quite speely myself...
Details and explanation below, otherwise next week is the start of my dynamic bases. See you then!!
There isn't really much to say. The image says it all. Sleepy. Baby. MudWing. Inspired by a clip from a nature documentary when a baby crocodile was napping on a branch. I might do more of these because holy crap, the untapped cuteness-
#wings of fire#wof#art#digital art#wof art#my art#wof fanart#mudwing#wof mudwing#I was trying to tag it as 'baby dragon' but as soon as I typed baby I got some funky shit and started to question if I really want to tag i
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I've been trying to research more about this supposed UN vote - but I can't find any sources on it when I search for it on google? Why can't I find more information on this past this tweet?
Why we keep doing this. Like rest of the world is like "I think genocide is bad idk" and the us and like 3 other countries are always like "um! Actually not really!" And it voids everything
#i'm anti-israel#not trying to start shit#just looking to make sure misinformation isn't being spread purposefully / accidentally
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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See you next year.
#revue starlight#revstar#daiba nana#nana daiba#shoujo kageki revue starlight#ramblerogue#illustration#artists on tumblr#fan art#helloooooo everyone please look at my beloved most sweetest most totally normal girl in the whole world#daiba nana is an eternal character to me#she's everything#like i will Always be insane about her i love her SO much#she should never change (and I think she'd agree with me about not changing and keeping things Exactly The Same lol)#ANYWAY EVERYONE GO WATCH REVUE STARLIGHT!!!#fun fact i started this drawing about... a year and a half ago. got half way through and then dropped it for like a year#so im pretty pleased that it's finally finished i hope you all like it :]#fighting for my life trying to do lineless coloring however i like how the end product turned out haha#also praying hoping to god that the image quality doesn't turn to shit#pls click into it if so i dont know how to fix that
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