#not trying to start shit
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I've been replaying parts of the HL2 series over the last few weeks, and I was recently struck by one of Alyx's lines from Episode 1:
"Hey – an airduct. I've heard stories about you and airducts. Doctor Kleiner says whenever he locked himself out of his office you and Barney used to compete to see who could get in fastest without using a key."
I feel like it's significant here that Alyx heard this story from Dr. Kleiner, rather than from Barney himself. If Alyx had grown up around Barney or he'd "practically raised her," as so many people like to claim, why wouldn't he have told her this himself? Why wouldn't Alyx have said as much to Gordon?
For silly fandom ship discourse purposes, I feel like this is pretty compelling proof that Alyx and Barney barely know each other in canon. Contradictory headcanons are fine and good (and I've indulged in plenty of them myself), but anyone who tries to claim that Valve intended for us to see Barney as a huge figure in Alyx's life or an "uncle" or otherwise part of her "found family" is straight up pulling that out of their ass.
For broader fandom speculation purposes, this only reinforces my belief that we're not likely to see Barney again, even if we get another HL game at some point in the future. Valve doesn't have any grand backstory in mind for him. He's a glorified tutorial agent who's served his purpose. At least in canon, he's barely a blip on our latest protagonist's radar.
And maybe that's for the best.
#half life#maintagging this because I think it's interesting#not trying to start shit#I'm sure I'm not the first person to notice this but I'm posting anyway#also oh hey the voice files on combine overwiki are working again!#alyx vance#barney calhoun
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I saw a piece of Meta about Croc the other day and was vibing with it until they said "maybe he had a wife in the past—" and I literally
Because I literally forgot not everyone headcanons him as gay/bi/queer+male-attracted in some way. I was startled.
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If you carefuly read the first two lines of my post, you'll see that it's not about trying to pitch it to people, it's about being able to say something about it, anything in fact. Which I did. Both about the gameplay and the narrative.
I also don't like advertising it as a time loop game, because the process of figuring out that it's not a funky loading process - your character actually remembers your playthrough - is also an experience that shouldn't be taken for granted. It got taken away from me by my complete inability to avoid spoilers, and, having later gotten that experience secondhand a couple of times, I value it as a narrative element much more now.
I keep seeing people say "play Outer Wilds, no, I can't tell you anything about it". Bitch. It's an exploration game about astronauts fucking around in space, doing archeology, astrology astronomy and science, with the gameplay itself consisting mostly of navigation in various 3D spaces with your legs or your trusty spaceship. There are interesting characters and tantalizing mysteries. It will require a fair bit of reading and thinking, it will sometimes test your speed, reflexes and precision. The story is about curiosity, courage, compassion, music, death, rebirth, and the terrifying vastness of space. The game can induce agoraphobia, claustrophobia, fear of heights, fear of depths and that which is unseen or hidden. Your character has four eyes and can roast marshmallows on any bonfire. Bitch.
#ramblings#not trying to start shit#i just don't like being misinterpreted#there are so many funky things about the game#that you can certainly talk about that won't lower new players' enjoyment#that was my issue
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hhhnhhghgjjghgugujgutuutghn piskin……..
#dedicated to the one time i didn’t realise my game broke during the bomb defusing cutscene#and i just spent like 30 seconds just staring at pliskin’s profile and swooning#i’ve been trying to study ashley woods’s style so bad bc i love it anf omg i forgot that painting loosely can be so fun#anyways#im back bitches#i have some work to finish but im free from school for a month after which i will die yet again#i finished mgs2 last night and holy shit. i think i need to keep staring at a wall to comprehend wtf i watched#but omg i loved it so much such a great game will be thinking about it forever!!!#can’t wait to start mgs3 and meet bibo and his blonde army#yayyy yippeee#have a good day!#iroquois pliskin#pliskin#solid snake#snavid#metal gear#metal gear solid#mgs2#ok bye
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Sometimes I’m a bit annoyed when I see a lot of biblical inspired fiction not really go into depth about angel types compared to demons, but other times I get it because have you ever researched angels? It’s all just “the strongest most specialist guy ever”
#txt#like finding specific roles for the cherubs was killing me because my god the seraphim and virtues do the exact same shit#don’t even get me started on the hierarchy!#but I do love doing research for it because I think it’s a fun challenge to try and give more depth#to a spiritual race that’s basically meant to be perfect
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I wish straight people were real
#started this in the morning#and I don't like it#but it would be a shame to not post this#also don't try to zoom in the quality is shit for some reason#homestuck#homestuck fanart#hs#my art#hs fanart#hs fandom#homestuck fandom#homestuck trolls#sollux captor#sollux fanart#sollux homestuck#sollux hs#aradia megido#homestuck aradia#hs aradia#aradia fanart#arasol
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honestly shout out to the dead dove: do not eat creators, the darkfic authors, the people who can unflinchingly stare into their darkest desires and curiosities and give them life enough to share with other people. It's absolutely so much harder than it looks to pull off
#everything depraved i start writing inevitably ends up turning into either something way too toothless#or with so much worldbuilding to cope i end up inventing a new language lmao#thoughts on writing#On the other hand sublimation and the tension with what excites is how I write half my shit tbh so maybe it's fine but#i was really really trying to go for actual castration in the fic i was just working on and I still swerved and left it inside scene only#lolololol
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Sometimes I wonder how Akechi felt being on the other end of the encounter with a cornered animal.
#p5r#persona 5#akechi goro#sumire yoshizawa#giggles incoherently with my incoherent introspection comic#my HC is that Akechi stood aside there bc he legit would not be able to control his rage#bc he doesnt see Sumire there; he sees his own last stand against the phantom theives#also I fucking find the third semester so INTERESTING and the royal trio are easily my favorite dynamic in the game#its so funny on the surface but if you even try to peek in its like oh. oh shit.#anyway lmao I think Im a little more confident with drawin Sumire now and I know how to even get started drawing Akechis stupid ass outfit#my art
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i literally do not care about big emergencies on abc's 911. i want to see my characters talk to each other and have stories that are parallels to small, everyday (everyday for first responders) emergencies
#why must everything be such a big ass event#okay yes it makes sense for a season premiere (tsunami my beloved <33)#and they sometimes slay at the end of a season (sniper arc <33)#but god other than that i literally do not care!!!!#bc they are bad#im not even sorry but the ebola 2.0 story is just not interesting to me#i would never rewatch it even if it gave us buck athena doing crime and chobby moments that make me scream and my beautiful boy ravi#like i care about the characters!!!!!#idgaf about anything else tbh#thats why i watch this show bc i love (almost) every character on this show and i want to learn more about them and see them in situations#so many recent episodes have zero rewatchability to me bc tim is out here trying to do some crazy ass thing that ends up not being executed#well or sacrifices character development#and like man what are you doing???#making episode long arcs that are still focused on the mains and not just doing shit for the sake of doing shit is possible and has been#done on 911 before#pls#tim pls i want my characters to have satisfying development and arcs i dont need to see a 4 minute long helicopter chase or your poorly#written versions of movies you like#either start cooking up good mass events again (see: earthquake tsunami sniper) or just stopppp doing them pls#sorry i saw tims interview where he said there's gonna be another mass casualty event at the end of 8 and i just know its not gonna be it#like some of these episodes this man has been writing have so few good character moments/interactions that im like.#why did i even watch the episode i could have gotten all i wanted from gifs on tumbler dot com and wouldnt have had to watch 40 minutes of#poorly written everything else#anyway i love everyone who works on 911 abc (excluding tim) they are beautiful and hardworking and put up with that bald mans delusionals#and ofc i love all my beautiful mains you are the reason i watch this show i cannot imagine 911 without my beloved firefam
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Day 6 & 7 of @dnrarepairweek | Prompts: PROXIMITY & JUDGEMENT
We interrupt this showdown to bring you an intervention ft. Near and Light who have a serious discussion about where their colleagues' priorities lie.
#dnrarepairweek25#super super late but it's not a real party for me until I throw in a little warehouse silliness#this was also supposed to have an accompanying fic but unfortunately I am super busy lately </3 so have these for now#my moonriver shenanigans always hassle everyone around them well now the tables have turned lol#death note#light yagami#nate river#near#kiyomi takada#halle lidner#stephen gevanni#teru mikami#anthony rester#kanzo mogi#mikavanni#halle/kiyomi#idk their ship name I'm sorry </3#moonriver#elle draws#I'm not even gonna try to figure one out for rester and mogi lmao#MOGI ACCIDENTALLY GOT CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE OF THIS IDEA I needed sthn for the punchline and also didn't want rester to get left out </3#I promise there is a vision for rester and mogi you need to listen to me please hear me out IS THIS THING ON HELLO#rarepair week ends just when I really start getting rare with it HAHAHSHSND#don't ask why near doesn't have a mask at the warehouse#he and light have a truce to sort their teams' shit out before they get back to business and murder and everything#I needed them to serve 'disappointed parents' realness and he can't do that with the mask on
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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The whole werewolf concept is basically izuku gets attacked (sometime between first getting ofa and a little bit after the dorms were put in place) and doesn’t fully remember what happened but shortly afterwards, his senses are amplified and he’s faster/stronger. He chalks it up to training and ofa, but what he’s oblivious to is the fact that during the nights surrounding the full moon, he transforms into a bloodthirsty wolf-man
Meanwhile, Aizawa and some other underground heroes have been tracking down a “villain” with what they think is a wolf quirk. At some point, Aizawa finally subdues the villain and hands him over to the police. With a job well done he gets some much needed rest
The next morning, his students are panicking because they can’t find midoriya. While looking for his missing student, he gets a call from the precinct telling him something strange happened with the villain he arrested; the wolf turned back into a human and it’s a kid. A kid who is looking for Aizawa specifically. A kid with green hair and freckles.
#anyways the idea is deku has zero clue what’s happening and is terrified#and at first aizawa and the detectives come to the conclusion it’s a different villain that hit midoriya with their quirk#they monitor him for a week or two and everythings fine#but then izuku starts acting kind of short tempered and rougher in training on the days leading up to the full moon#and it all comes to a head when class a has a little movie night and deku who’d fallen asleep starts having a mightmare or something#and they try and wake him up and then bam his bones starts breaking and reshaping and he starts transforming#and everybody’s freaked out and then the wolf lunges at them before running out into the night#and then more shit idk#but yeah that’s the idea#werewolf!deku
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Mhin accidentally walks in on mc changing:




#trying something new#basically a souped up shit post#I really just wanted to draw the last expression but then I started thinking about what would’ve made them make it and-#touchstarved#touchstarved game#touchstarved mhin#touchstarved fanart#my art
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"Wow...I know how much you hate musicals."
#symbrock#venom the last dance#venom 3 spoilers#Venom being genuinely surprised by Eddie agreeing to do something he hates#“we have no secrets”#bruh#i bet that symbiote felt the depression vibrating off Eddie so bad its cells started splintering apart#but I also felt like this was the symbiote trying to cheer Eddie up by being silly like it did in LTBC with the breakfast#Eddie's just such an espresso-depresso because his whole life went to shit and he's craving the love he thought he lost#dumbass doesn't realize he's had it all along#the unfiltered love this symbiote has for its host is actually so pure#goodnight i'm going insane over these two
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can i stand up and say that ros AND yellow are completely irredeemable from lukeys pov or will the audience not like that one. because it’s honestly just been something that’s been bothering me a little bit. the way they talk about him like he’s less than human gets under my skin. can i just rant for a minute. is this okay with everyone.
like imagine you’re thrown into this new world and someone you’ve never met hates you for hearing your voice in a pocket dimension. and then murders you for it like an hour into your life. and then everyone acts like it’s okay because she’s going through a real rough time. and yeah she is, but how does that make it okay? they defend it, because she was scared, but you were scared too. what about your fear? you didn’t even do anything. she keeps threatening to kill you, and you can’t do anything, and you’re powerless. and then you join the opposing faction, because why wouldn’t you. and then her factionmate kills you a few days later. and it’s all one big joke. the entire faction hates you and they believe you’re evil, because they have to justify themselves somehow. no enemy of the kingdom can be innocent, so you must be evil, but you don’t even know who you are yet. and the king takes responsibility for all of it, willingly.
and you’re not perfect, but you try to remain kind. you ask her if she’s comfortable with you attending her event, and as you’re leaving, she calls you back and tries to murder you. again. and she’s friends with the guy you’ve sworn your life to, who’s likewise sworn to keep you safe. and she tells him it was just a little tap, like it was nothing. later, you try to stick up for yourself, defend your innocence, and she tells you that she doesn’t view you as an equal, much less a human being. your death does not matter to her because she doesn’t believe you deserve to live. she doesn’t believe you’re anything at all. "you’re nothing to me, lukey," and everyone lets it happen.
she continues to berate and belittle you, and threaten your life, and so does everyone else, because they’ve decided you’re evil. and it’s funny. and you’re weak. sneeg, and ros, and tina, and zam—and foolish lets them. and then ros dies. and she comes back weird and wrong, and people say to you try to start over, so you try, bitterly. but you’re evil. she calls you a dog. a pet. mocks you. says you make her want to be violent.
"like, i hardly touched lukey, and he hasn’t stopped whining about it."
and something’s got to give. someone has to take responsibility, so,
"i didn’t plan this, foolish. but i’m letting it happen. much like you did."
and everyone screams, see! we knew he was evil all along! we were right! — but this was never your decision to begin with. it’s never mattered what you truly are, because they’d already decided for you.
#is this too harsh. idk i’m just out here saying shit sometimes#this isn’t ros neg before people start coming into my askbox again. it’s all true. she did all this shit. and it’s okay to acknowledge that#also this is written with purposeful bias. it’s perspective. this is how it is for lukey. like that’s what im trying to convey#<- do people read tags. i hope. dont get upset with me please and understand my angle#yellow will make monsters out of ordinary people. shape them into an enemy. and then say 'i told you so!' when they fight back#lukey could do anything to retaliate at this point and it’d be completely justified#also i’ve just been feeling reeeaaalll bad for lukey recently. poor guy genuinely#cooper talks#more like#cooper rants#new tag alert maybe. alert the authorities#trsmp#lukeytv#the realm smp
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my adventures with superman turning deathstroke the fucking terminator into an anime twink is the single greatest thing i've seen in the history of animation i have not been able to stop laughing
#personal#my adventures with superman#honestly the second this guy showed up with his hair covering an eye i started wondering if t'was slade#and it is! it's twink slade! i had to pause the episode to try and stop giggling#i do love it i do love twink slade i think he should be a recurring character#with his white hair and his gold eye god bless him#also how early is this supposed to be in his career he is getting his shit absolutely rocked by livewire#(makes sense he does repeatedly get his ass handed to him by teenagers including his own children)#(but still come on twink slade)#he is hot tho i'm immediately on board with him being in this show
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