#not trying to be a hater but both characters are clearly meant to be black in the fanart

[kjones-fandom]

Just saw the new AFTG editions in Poland. I know they technically aren’t black in the original canon but Matt and Dan are so white washed in the art that I genuinely sent my best friend screenshots in shock.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

The 90s were alternately an amazing time for comedies and an absolute wasteland of garbage best forgotten. Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler both rose to prominence during this era, and both thrived in their niches, delivering some of the most well-liked movies of their careers. But it was still the 90s, and the ugly side of comedy of the time was always ready to rear its ugly head. For instance, in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, we have the infamously transphobic finale, the joke the entire film has been building up to and is so shockingly bigoted you’d think it was written by J.K. Rowling. But bad comedies were just like that back then, and even good comedies could fall victim to it.

We’re not talking about a good comedy gone bad, though. We’re here to talk about a film with a solid  1 on Metacritic and that obliterated the careers of its two leads: Bio-Dome.

At one point, it was supposed to be a much more serious film about slackers being trapped and forced to survive in the titular structure, but you know how studio executives can be, and so the film was transformed into a totally radical 90s slacker grossout comedy filled with sex jokes, farts, and other tasteless humor. There are also rumors going around that this was originally supposed to be the third Bill and Ted adventure, but those are just rumors, albeit ones that you can see how one would believe considering how this film rips off that dynamic duo while cranking their idiocy and homoeroticism up to 11.

Whatever the case, what we got was absolutely torn apart by critics, and ensured Pauly Shore would never rise above doing anything more than direct-to-video garbage for the rest of his career, and turned Stephen Baldwin into the black sheep of the nepo baby dynasty that is the Baldwins, ruining his career which then led to him becoming a born again evangelical Christian whose daughter married Justin Bieber (which is still a massive W compared to inspiring GamerGate or actually murdering someone). It’s also the film that Weird Al decided to use to describe the miserable plane trip in his song “Albuquerque,” and the way he refers to it makes it clear the film is worse than the plane exploding in the second worse aviation accident to happen over New Mexico in fiction.

(This one being the worst, obviously).

But hey, maybe the critics were just being too harsh to this dumb comedy that was clearly meant to be enjoyed by stoners. With my tray table up and my seat back in the full upright position, I strapped on in and took a look at Bio-Dome to see if this comedy has a few laughs in it, or if it really is that bad after all.

THE GOOD

Well… The soundtrack is pretty good. They’ve got a lot of solid tracks on it, and Tenacious D actually briefly shows up for a cameo. It lasts maybe three seconds, but it might be the best three seconds in the movie.

There’s also a montage set to “The Safety Dance” near the end of the movie, and it might be the single genuinely funny sequence the film has to offer. I thought a few of the gags in it were pretty good, and it’s the only time the protagonist's goofy idiocy felt charming instead of revolting. And then it leads into the climax of the films, which is actually decent because there are actual stakes instead of random vignettes of these idiots dicking around. Sure, it’s decent by the standards of the rest of the movie, but credit where credit is due.

Finally, William “Walter Peck” Atherton plays a character named Dr. Faulkner, a guy who absolutely fucking hates Bud and Doyle, and thus he becomes the most sympathetic character in the entire film. You will be begging him to kill these two morons by the end. It helps that Atherton is the only person in the entire movie who is actually trying to act.

Yeah, that’s it. Time to shift into Hater Mode.

THE BAD

The fact the entire movie hinges on these two idiots is a joke, and not a particularly funny one a that.

The 90s was littered with all manner of idiot duos, most famously with Dumb & Dumber, but Bud and Doyle are easily the nadir of such characters. The big issue is they are not merely lethally stupid to the point they fuck up a massive science experiment—no, they are horribly unpleasant people. They bumble their way through the titular bio-dome, ruining the work of the scientists at every turn, but that’s not even the real problem. No, the problem is that despite having two girlfriends they supposedly adore, they not only constantly flirt with the women scientists in the dome, and even worse they crawl into their beds while they’re sleeping and start feeling them up. Ah, the 90s, where you could have your protagonists sexually assault a woman and still expect people to sympathize them while playing the violation off for laughs! Ah, but it’s okay, because they feel really bad about it, guys.

Aside from that vileness, the jokes are just as juvenile and pathetic as you can imagine they’d be. You have fart jokes, pee jokes, sex jokes, Baldwin eating Shore’s toenails… Stuff like this has its place and can be funny, but this is really the only humor the movie has. There isn’t more clever than some lame fart a stoner can laugh at while high off their ass.

And maybe this could be forgivable if anyone was actually fucking trying. There are two types of bad acting in this movie: hammy, camera-mugging idiocy (our two leads) and bland, wooden delivery (the female scientists). No one in this film seems like they cared at all, and honestly, it’s not hard to see why. What is there to even give a shit about? Out of the two leads I do think Shore is probably the “better” of the two, but this is better in the sense that being kicked in the balls is better than being shot in the back of the head execution style

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Look, I went into this with an open mind. You all know I’m not above enjoying some nasty, trashy comedies; two of my all-time favorite films are Freddy Got Fingered and Little Nicky, the former film especially being one I hold in high regard. But… No, this one legitimately is as bad as it’s made out to be. Weird Al must be thanking his lucky stars that plane exploded over Albuquerque so he didn’t have to sit through the rest of the movie.

Like, in the movies I mentioned, there’s at least something to latch onto. Freddy Got Fingered is essentially the greatest troll in history, with Tom Green blowing a studio’s money to make the most bogus gross-out comedy ever, and in some bizarre ways it has some artistic merit. And with Little Nicky, there’s some entertaining villains, decent jokes here and there, and just a slew of memetic lines. Bio-Dome has absolutely nothing like that; it’s just two obnoxious, unpleasant characters being played by actors who definitely can’t salvage the material delivering the stupidest gags and jokes imaginable for an hour and a half. This really is the most bottom of the barrel lowest common denominator garbage you could scrape up.

Even still, I can’t particularly say it’s the absolute worst comedy I’ve ever seen, mainly because there wasn’t much expectations it would be good. It stars Pauly fucking Shore, the only guy from Encino Man who will probably never win an Oscar as long as he lives, it being dogshit was expected compared to something like The Love Guru or even The Master of Disguise. Those films starred genuinely talented comedians, while this movie just didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, this is still one of the worst comedies ever made, but it really was something I expected would suck even if I really hoped it wouldn’t.

I honestly don’t know how this managed a 4.4 on IMDB; I get there are some lunatics who actually love this movie, but there can’t be enough to pull this out of the bottom 100 gutter, can there be? It shouldn’t have higher than a 2.5, and that’s just being generous because there is nothing about this film that is so good enough that it deserves higher. 

But that’s also the thing: As bad as it is, it is utterly unremarkable. It’s just the epitome of bad 90s comedy, and while it is the worst among that crowd, it doesn’t really stand out in any notable way other than sucking really hard. This is a film bad in the most generic ways possible, and I think that’s part of why it has fallen to the wayside in terms of “worst movies of all time” lists these days. Like does it deserve to be there? Sure, but there’s just a lot more vile and offensive comedies than this to pick from. This is just a generic bad comedy at the end of the day.

If you want to see the concept done right, and shorter to boot, just watch the episode of Johnny Bravo entitled “Biosphere Johnny,” which is a parody of this film and does every single thing this movie tried to do and better, proving once and for all Johnny is a true Chad.

[onesheeptwosheepandachicken]

26 Reasons why Qrow is not Ruby’s father and why Taiyang is Ruby’s father

In response to the toxic aspect of the fandom attacking CRWBY and demanding that their desires for Qrow be chosen over canon, or how they feel their theory is more valid than the show itself? I have researched RWBY to make this 26-point Discussion as to why Canon is valid, and fancanon is not when it comes to Qrow Branwen, Ruby Rose, Taiyang Xiao Long, and Summer Rose.

 1.       “Monty said NO”    Most obviously. Monty Oum.

   He said in this tweet that ruby and yang are half-sisters…half-sisters,  which means they share the same mom or dad…in this case Taiyang….

  https://twitter.com/montyoum/status/492070189731565568

Now people have claimed “he obviously meant step-sisters or cousins” Why is it that every time we show the English dictionary to you people or ask you to read it, that you claim you are being attacked or that you claim Monty was misleading us?

 2.       The writers said NO

   Miles Luna debunked this theory on Reddit…

   He pointed out that Ruby sees Qrow as a Role model, so she adapts her colors to be similar to his.

   And you don’t need somebody to be blood to be your role model.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RWBY/comments/7x3w4s/crwby_ama_w_miles_luna_kerry_shawcross_and_paula/du5d67g/?

 3. “Rooster Teeth said NO” Rooster Teeth even said that Qrow is "Ruby and Yang's Uncle" They also said “Ladies, he’s not your man”

https://twitter.com/RoosterTeeth/status/1067205612331782144

 4.  “But what if Summer had feelings for Qrow? Why does Qrow Serve Ozpin?” Qrow said in Volume 6 " No one wanted me... I was cursed... I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world... I thought I was finally doing some good... " So he was saying he wasn't wanted, so no relationship with Summer. SUMMER DID NOT WANT HIM. And he was literally saying he served Ozpin because Ozpin gave him purpose. It’s pretty sad how people think Qrow can only be a complex character if he obsesses over another person’s wife and child. What , you wanna make him Severus Snape, the Lilly Potter stalker who insulted a girl’s face and tried to poison a boy’s pet and publicly outed a teacher?

https://rwby.fandom.com/wiki/Qrow_Branwen/Quotes#So_That.27s_How_It_Is

5, "But Qrow could be lying" Except in volume 6 Qrow literally said "Don't lie...we're better than that"

And in volume 7?

" Long time ago. I just found working alone tends to be for the best "

" Gotta say, I’m still not really used to working with other Huntsmen in the field. "

And finally World Of Remnant on Patch.

" Nice place to raise a family, if you're into that sort of thing. "

https://rwby.fandom.com/wiki/Qrow_Branwen/Quotes#So_That.27s_How_It_Is

  6.  “Qrow fans claim that Ruby and Summer form a core part of Qrow’s character and backstory.” WRONG! The main accusation for demanding Rooster Teeth / CRWBY change the backstory for Qrow would accomplish nothing.

Raven already pushed Yang onto Taiyang to raise on his own.

Qrow forcing Tai to Raise Ruby alongside Yang while Qrow could regularly visit, and while Summer lived with Taiyang, Yang, and Ruby?

It would cheapen Qrow’s character….blood isn’t everything.  Neither are cliches.

 7. “But what if Qrow gave Ruby to Tai to raise after Summer’s death?” Volume Chapter 6, Burning the Candle.

Yang tells Blake that she (yang) and Ruby were raised together by Summer and Taiyang…not by Taiyang on his own, but by Summer and Taiyang.

Yang clearly had memories of being raised by Summer and Tai both,  which meant that Summer and Taiyang lived together raising Ruby and Yang for Several Years.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZkN-53h5Os

  8. “Does Taiyang care about Summer or Ruby?” Taiyang was noted to have shut down when Summer didn’t come back…. Yang noted this in Volume 2 Chapter 6, and Ruby mentioned in the first episode of Volume 3 that Taiyang missed Summer. Qrow also said that Ruby is Taiyang’s “Special Angel”…. Ruby has also pointed out numerous times that Taiyang is Overprotective of Ruby. In fact, Ruby's conversation with Penny about overprotective fathers.

 9. “Qrow knows Taiyang is Ruby’s Father. Taiyang knows Ruby is Taiyang’s daughter. Qrow has referred to Taiyang as Ruby’s father during volume 3 and 7. Taiyang referred to Ruby as his daughter in volume 3.

 10. “Why didn’t Taiyang train Ruby in Martial Arts?” Taiyang is a martial arts fighter.   Ruby has neither the build nor the personality for ruthless hand to hand combat like her sister… Taiyang would trust Qrow, despite his semblance.   Remember how bad Ruby was in v5?

 11. “Qrow’s semblance is not what his fans exaggerate it to be”

Speaking of Qrow’s semblance? He was playing video games with his nieces,   taught at Signal Academy,   and could train Ruby… Clearly,  his semblance is not what theorists make it out to be.

 12. “Why doesn’t Qrow treat Yang the same way he treats Ruby?”

Yang is the daughter of Qrow’s sister,who abandoned the team.

During a one on one interaction between Qrow and Yang after yang vs mercury, Qrow called his own niece crazy, after she had been framed.

Qrow was not empathetic to Yang.

Qrow may not like Yang’s resemblance to Raven.

Ruby is the daughter of his two closest friends, so of course he’d prefer Ruby over Yang.

 13.  “Examples of Taiyang caring for Ruby.”

Volume 2 Ruby was excited when Taiyang sent a package in the mail, not even knowing it was Zwei.

Taiyang was at Ruby’s bedside in V3, and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

He also tried to bring her breakfast in bed.

Taiyang said he wanted to chase after Ruby, but had to nurse Yang back to health.

During the V8 broadcast, Taiyang was upset when the broadcast was cut.

 14. “Genetics research”

Black hair is the subtype of the pigment for blonde hair…

Also, Ruby’s got the same hair strand that Yang and Taiyang have.

Finally, black hair is more dominant.

So Ruby doesn’t need blonde hair to be Taiyang’s kid.

https://askinglot.com/is-black-hair-a-dominant-or-recessive-gene

https://www.quora.com/If-a-jet-black-haired-parent-and-a-blonde-parent-have-children-what-color-hair-would-the-children-likely-have

 15. “The STRQ Photo”

The photo....Qrow was with STRQ for four years...do you really think Qrow is not allowed to cry on the photo unless he was romantically involved? Can't a man grieve over the death of a female friend that he was NOT in a relationship with? Or are men not allowed to have female friends? Ichigo and Rukia from Bleach for example...friendship. They were his friends, his family. People seem obsessed with the idea that Qrow cannot care about a woman unless he was romantically involved or unless he's their bastard father.

 16. “Men and Women…as friends, platonic” Harry Potter as a book showed that a boy and a girl can interact and still be friends…

Why can’t Qrow be Summer’s friend?

Why does he have to be her lover?

We’ve seen Qrow talk about Innkeeper’s skirt lengths and leer at Barmaids who flirted with him.

Also, he’s shown to be bonding with both Clover and Robyn.

People act like he doesn't flirt with anyone , and yet he does.

 17. “Bad Luck Charm” Qrow has spent his whole life with his semblance, named after a Crow.

Raised by the Branwen bandit tribe.

“You and I are not the same, you don’t want the burden of my name” Both Branwen and Qrow are names that Qrow hates due to his semblance and past…

People may think of him as cool, but Qrow suffers from self-loathing.

So NO, the Bad Luck Charm song does NOT in fact allude to Qrow being Ruby’s father, but that Qrow hates himself, hence a major part of why he’s alcoholic.

Proof of which is his volume 6 exchange with Ozpin about being useful, which Qrow disagrees with, leading him to drink further. Yang literally said that she had never seen qrow so drunk before in v6.

And Ruby encourages his self-worth leading him to try giving up alcohol….

His alcoholism is tied to low-self-esteem, not relationships.

 18. Manga Anthology

Taiyang was shown in the Manga Anthology to have shut down upon Summer’s Death. That impacted his relationship with Ruby and Yang. Qrow? Is relatively unaffected. The good Uncle helping around the house. Taiyang haters and Qrow stans took this to demand that Qrow is entitled to Ruby, despite Taiyang recovering and doing his best to be a father. Anything Qrow does is worshipped like Mother Teresa, while anything Taiyang does, good or bad, is downplayed and smashed. Taiyang loved Summer so much he was devastated by her death. Qrow was unaffected. Think about that.

 19. “I like Brats” Why does Qrow spend time with kids he’s not related to? Because he likes kids. You know how there are adults who enjoy being around brats? That’s Qrow. He didn’t have romantic feelings for Summer, he liked being around her because she was like a kid. Similar to how Blake likes Ruby’s idealism? And trusts her leadership?

 20.  “Taiyang the 2-timer accusation”

A woman on youtube claimed that Taiyang was a 2-timer who cheated on raven with summer, as there was, in her and her friends’ minds, “no way that taiyang could be with half his team” When asked about TaiQrow as a joke, she was angered that people even ship TaiQrow.

But let me ask you this. Are you the same person you are now that you were 10 years ago? People claim that Qrow was somehow cool in beacon…because he’s cool now. But Taiyang, who raises two kids, and holds a job and a house…cannot be ruby’s father…because he’s not cool? And that somehow he was never cool? I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had to be cool to be a parent. I also had no idea people were only allowed to be in one relationship per lifetime. Raven freaking abandoned Tai for the tribe. Summer chose Taiyang over Qrow. People literally make Qrow out to be either an OC in a shipping fanfic, or a Naruto fanfic where Naruto is written to be fawned over by a girl whose canonical spouse, boyfriend, or male friend is somehow rewritten as evil.

1 year…..in 1 year since Raven abandoned Taiyang and Yang, Summer Rose the friend of Taiyang’s who he had known for 4 years, became more than a friend.

So no….Taiyang is not a two-timer…he moved on from Raven.

 22. “Why can’t Taiyang talk about Summer?” To WHO? He’s barely got 15 minutes of screentime, and the writers did NOT do him any favors when they had Qrow demand he leave so Qrow could tell Ruby a secret Ozpin trusted him with, before telling Ruby to run away from home leaving only a freaking note. Terrible daughter. Even Yang was prepared to do the same! To a man whose first wife abandoned him! At least Weiss has a legit reason for acting as she does against Jacques, several at least. Ruby? No. Now why would Taiyang talk about Summer’s fighting style to Yang when trying to get her to stop acting like Raven in her fighting style and semblance? Sure if there was more time…but RT at the end of the day isn’t some money-hungry political entity, it’s a startup at the end of the day, they don’t have the ability to do a full anime episode. Also, Taiyang cannot go out on these active missions…he was a schoolteacher who did not do missions until only recently…he was retired, remember.

 23. “These fanworks make more sense to me”

Qrow fans have tried using fanworks to justify their theory or ship, the same way Blacksun fans or Adam apologists make similar claims, and even Raven fans try to claim Raven is somehow a good mother. What do these fanworks do? Hate on Taiyang. Dismiss Ruby and Yang being half-blood siblings. Ignore multiple elements of the show or scenes. Occasionally shit-talk the writers.

Every time somebody tries to make a “rwby rewrite” or “rwby alt” or “Qrow is ruby’s father au” they cannot do it without completely rewriting the characters in so many forms and even the show, till Qrow, Raven, Taiyang, and Summer are NOTHING like they are in the show…And ONLY how a shipper wants qrow to be.

Or rewriting qrow to be nothing like he is in the show.

Most Alt or Rewrite consists of making Taiyang abusive, a cheater, or refusing to allow him to interact with Summer, while regularly pushing qrowxsummer at each other.

So no…it’s not that it makes sense to them through some fanart….a headcanon that has been debunked is no longer headcanon. A theory that is shut down is no longer a theory. There’s a reason anti-vaxxers and flat-earthers still exist. Because to them, their theories make more sense than reality. Which is why people still believe Qrow is Ruby’s father the same way people believe vaccines cause autism. Neither are true, and no amount of facts will shut them down, but they’re both popular theories.

 24. “Qrow Rings and Cross”

People claim that Qrow was married to Summer or that his cross represents him mourning Summer. Did the STRQ photo, in v3, the same volume as his appearance, not show Qrow with his rings, his cross, and angrily scowling, while Summer was right next to Taiyang?

 25. “What about Summer Rose’s choice?”

Remember how I said making Qrow’s character based on solely Ruby and Summer, ignoring everything regarding the tribe and ozpin giving him hope, and the grimm reaper…was bad writing? There’s a reason people hated v5. Raven was proven to be the deadbeat, Qrow was shown to have friends, and that Taiyang knew about Salem, and of course it was confirmed that Yang and Ruby again were sisters by Raven.

Now how about Summer? Team leader….took a man and a daughter who were abandoned by her friend…and made them her own. Yang calls Summer Rose “Supermom” and “Her Hero”…was literally willing to storm a bandit camp so Raven could use her portal to take Yang to Qrow, so she could get to Ruby. And yeah, I know the RWBY critics scream “why didn’t Yang just look for Ruby in Mistral?” It’s a bloody kingdom, and Yang was pursuing a lead, that Tai had given her, and Qrow told Yang he’d look after her sister. Remember that? Oh wait, RWBY Critics forget, my bad. Anyway, she’s more of a sister to Qrow than his blood sister Raven, she’s more of a mother to Yang than Raven, and she’s more of a spouse to Tai than Raven. Good Stepmother. Non-married couple. Relationship built on trust. Blood is not the same as family. (Example Weiss’s remark to her father) (Or Dom Toretto)

So making Summer into a throw-away character who dies so that a brooding jerk of an alcoholic can claim character development? Making a woman nothing except a throw-away for a man to get development is BAD WRITING. For God’s Sakes, even Pyrrha was written better than that! She interacted with team rwby, nora was always helping her out, and so was Ren (though those shakes are a crime against humanity” But when Qrow fans try to demand he’s ruby’s father? Their fanworks make Summer as much of a flat character as Preston Harvey from Fallout 4, where they make Summer unable to do anything but be obsessed with Qrow and having his child, similar to how Preston cannot think of anything other than “Another settlement needs your help, I’ll mark it on your pip-boy”

 26. Finally, the accusations that CRWBY are lying.

“You have to be ****** if you believe CRWBY when they say Qrow isn’t Ruby’s father” “CRWBY is lying, it’s what writers do” “It’s okay for writers to lie, it’s good for plot” “I’d prefer it if CRWBY was lying to us” “Monty is dead, the writers should change it now” “Monty is dead, nothing else in the writing matters” “Monty was hiding the truth from us” “CRWBY is hiding the truth about Qrow being Ruby’s father” “It makes sense for CRWBY to lie to us” Look at this…Twitter, Youtube, Facebook, Tumblr, Reddit, instagram…. The first quote? Was a woman who was using an anti-autism anti-disability slur defending the theory. Never have I ever seen people so obsessed with a  theory that they would deny reality and be rude to the very writers and original creator. But the QrowxSummer and Qrow is Ruby’s Father fandom group has made countless cases of this. THIS is how they defend their theory? And people upvote, like and support these remarks? SHAME SHAME SHAME

 Conclusion:

I get how people desire qrow to be Ruby’s father for ships or fanfics.

Even to where they make Taiyang a hated character just for the sake of making sure nobody disagrees with them.

But the attacking of RWBY and CRWBY, claiming that “this needs to be fixed”, or getting angry at RT for not giving you the non-canon ship you want? Claiming that just because you want it to be so, that somehow your ship/theory has “validity?”

That reflects poorly on the fandom and critics.

But then again…. It’s easy to ignore what’s real and what’s a fact that when theorists and ship-pushers and CRWBY Haters on youtube tells you to stop listening to monty and the writers, and instead believe whatever you want and claim whatever you want, Because surely you know what’s better for the show than the people who worked on it, right? Ha ha ha, no. THAT is the ULTIMATE disrespect somebody calling themselves a fan could ever give. And if you think or agree with that type of logic, you should look in the mirror.

I looked for backup sources to defend CRWBY and RWBY, you’ll find them below.

Backup sources include:

 https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/qrow-is-not-rubys-dad/422o_0rbCYuoXj36VoB7obK3MXPZRbPKkz5

 https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/why-the-qrow-is-rubys-father-theory-is-wrong/z668_nQlIxu0dmRdRpEPxqE3qlWlZEmoE2

 https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/qrow-cant-possibly-be-rubys-and-heres-why/8BB5_LPVCmu2bonkw8eEP3Yokg8m8zJlgNV

 https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/why-qrow-isnt-rubys-father/lXXx_5QoUQuPVGo3Wgko3wJ52mMBl7644P

 https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/is-qrow-rubys-father-short-answer-no/422o_0rbCYupDKezxPxpdje7dRn3nB8YvZ

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPbft3KJd6o

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/qrow-is-rubys-dad-theory-debunk/d33g_pQEcbu1NKQoMEv0kmDpP6N8bmowkkq

[kitkatopinions]

Okay, so I’ve talked before about the many problems I have with James Ironwood’s semblance ‘Mettle’ here, but I wanted to make a post about what changes I personally would make to James’s semblance and how I would put it into practice in the show.

This is pro James Ironwood content. Ironwood haters, don’t @ me, don’t interact.

1. Change the phraseology and the way the semblance is presented. I would present it as a literal form of mind control, where his semblance makes him do whatever it takes to accomplish a set goal. Phrasing it as increasing his stubbornness and focus to the point where other things fall by the wayside makes it seem like his semblance just makes character traits much stronger, villainizes those traits, and is insensitive to people that hyper-fixate and can’t help that. Phrasing his semblance instead as centered around making him do whatever it takes to accomplish a goal, even if that changes who he is, is better in my opinion.

2. Change his semblance from passive to active This is good for a couple of reasons. People can’t control their passive semblances, which A. leaves James looking almost completely sympathetic (since, you know, he can’t fully control his actions) and it also leaves the casual viewer wondering what’s James and what’s his semblance. Did he bring his ships to Vale of his own volition or was it his semblance? Did he close the borders to Atlas himself or is it his semblance? Did he shoot Oscar himself, or was it his semblance? Etc. Etc. Making his semblance something that he himself chooses to use despite recognizing that it’s dangerous both gives James some level of culpability and it makes it much clearer to the audience what’s James’ personality and what is done under the influence of his semblance. I would make it so that James can turn on his semblance, but rarely ever does, because when he turns it on, he can’t make himself turn it off, and he can’t control himself or his responses in that state. I would make it so the only ways for James’s semblance to turn off again is if his goal is completed, his aura breaks, or he dies.

3. Make his semblance use clear through visual cues Honestly, this one isn’t as needed as the other two, but it just makes it much easier to understand and A. gives the audience another way to be clued in to when James is or isn’t under the affects of his semblance, and B. gives the characters a way to be clued in to when James is or isn’t under the affects of his semblance. In the first Avengers, when someone got possessed, their eyes would turn black and then turn a certain color of blue. A similar thing could happen with James, his eyes lightening, even if it was really subtle.

Also a change in body language would make for a subtle, but nice shift. James tends to put his arms behind his back, he tends to look people in the eye when he’s talking to them, he sighs, he acts tired out, he acts a little awkward, he gives little physical signs of affection like a shoulder to the hand, or a hug, or smiling softly. Having him do none of these things - keeping his arms at his sides, not looking at people when he talks to them or they talk to him, acting perfectly alert, not ever showing his more affectionate, warm, or awkward sides - all would make it clear that there’s something off. James isn’t acting like himself.  To be totally fair to the show, there’s for sure some of that ‘James isn’t acting like himself’ stuff in the show, buuuut to be totally honest about the show, it’s clear we’re meant to see James as just an evil villain and his semblance isn’t even mentioned in the show, so... Yeah.

So in my ideal version, James’s semblance is an active semblance he can’t turn off, that forces him to accomplish a set goal no matter what and will even change his morality and base personality in order to achieve it, and it has visual cues like a change in body language and eye color shifting. Another thing to note is that James’s semblance is a secret, even to many of his confidants. The people that James has told about his semblance are Qrow and Ozpin.

Now to apply it to the show.

Adding an extra scene into the early episodes of V7.

Qrow enters James’s office and the two start talking about James’ plans. Qrow notes that it all still seems like ‘a bit much’ and James dismisses this concern, talking about how drastic times call for drastic measures, and they have to do whatever they can to stop Salem. Qrow has a moment’s pause and a guilty look (since he’s keeping the secret of Salem being immortal,) but then narrows his eyes and asks James “Is that you or your semblance talking?” James sighs, he says “You know I don’t use my semblance.” Qrow looks unconvinced, and James turns to face him a little more fully. They lock eyes and Qrow seems satisfied, nodding a little and turning away again. James asks Qrow to trust him, and Qrow agrees, with the qualification that James has to let him - and the others - help him instead of taking it all on himself, which James also agrees to, if not a little reluctantly.

Later in the episode ‘Gravity’ when Ironwood makes the choice to leave Mantle, he does so clearly under his own power. As Team RWBY start opposing him and after realizing they’ve gone behind his back, we see James hesitate. He takes a deep breath with his back to the girls and the Ace Ops and then triggers his semblance, his aura lighting up for a minor moment and his eyes shifting color to a lighter blue. The Ace Ops and Team RWBY all have a split second moment of confusion - seeing his aura flash - but then James turns and that’s when he declares he’s going to enact martial law. The scene continues on as is, with Ruby contacting the others and the Ace Ops going to arrest Team RWBY, etc.

Meanwhile, Qrow, Robyn, and Clover are all left confused and uncertain, and then receive the order for everyone’s arrest, including Qrow. Cue more confusion, and Qrow says there must be some sort of mistake. Robyn starts up the fight, Clover and Qrow try to de-escalate things, and in this version of things, Qrow doesn’t really join in the fight (Oh, I should note, I’m also erasing the Oz-punch in this version because I can do whatever I want.) When the plane goes down, he’s still trying to defend and make sense of things, but Tyrian’s coming on strong, taking advantage of Clover trying to make sure Qrow can’t get away - since he literally doesn’t know that Qrow isn’t a criminal - and Qrow being unwilling to fight Clover, and Tyrian kills Clover himself. Qrow’s distraught and affected, but doesn’t blame James, and Tyrian gets away.

He and Robyn are both arrested, and meanwhile, James and Oscar’s confrontation happens, and right before Ironwood shoots him, Oscar realizes that his eyes are different, but is then shot. In season eight and in jail with Robyn, Jacques, and Watts, we see Qrow frustrated and upset as the three argue back and forth, and all three of them are blaming Ironwood, when Qrow gets up and again starts trying to say there’s been some kind of mistake. Robyn says he’s putting too much faith in Atlas’s higher ups, and Qrow says that she just doesn’t know James like he does - which is true. When the guards come to take Watts away, Qrow says “That isn’t like him,” And Robyn rolls her eyes, but we see Qrow’s eyes widen in realization and he tells Robyn that James must’ve triggered his semblance.

Meanwhile, Oz (now back and getting the lowdown on everything from Oscar) speculates on whether or not James’s semblance is affecting his choices, but the both of them agree that they’re not 100% sure if they can give James the benefit of that doubt after Lionheart and everyone else that’s ever betrayed Oz (Note this also leaves a place where at least Oscar can say he’s sorry for how the Jinn/backstory thing went down.) Oscar doesn’t ask how James’s semblance works and Oz only really mentions that it alters his behavior. Oscar doesn’t tell the others Oz is back and Oscar doesn’t mention the semblance to the others, since neither of them are sure if it’s really at play.

Next time we see them, Robyn is pressing Qrow for details on James’s semblance and he tells her what it does and how it works. Robyn isn’t sure, but Qrow insists. He does wonder why James even turned it on and takes a moment to be angry that he did when he knows how dangerous it is - and maybe makes some comment about ‘if I could keep mine off, I’d never use it.’ Robyn hesitates, and then says “Well, I trust you, Qrow. If you say it’s his semblance, and that’s what’s really putting Mantle at risk... Then how do we stop it?” The two start making a plan to break out of the jail to get to Ironwood so they can help him.

Meanwhile, everything with Ironwood keeps escalating, the Ace Ops are still following his orders, they try to arrest Penny, delivering the bomb to the whale, find Team JRY, Winter makes her compromise, Cinder breaks in to free Watts, yada yada. When the Ace Ops bring the bomb back to Ironwood and it’s revealed Qrow and Robyn have escaped, James starts talking about how he should’ve used Qrow to get to Penny, could’ve used Penny’s friends against her, and then decides to drop the bomb on Mantle. And Winter clearly figures out something is wrong and starts getting suspicious and freaked. She tries to talk him out of it and tells him “this isn’t you, why are you doing this?” but James will barely look at her and keeps insisting, and finally she ‘agrees,’ but clearly seems perturbed and very unhappy with it. 

Meanwhile, seeing the bomb threat puts Oz over the edge of thinking this is James affected by his semblance. Both he and Oscar still aren’t totally sure, but bring it up to Ruby and the others, and there’s a moment of “What the heck, another secret” before Oscar defends Oz “We didn’t know for sure, there was so much going on, I’m the one who didn’t think to mention it, it wasn’t our secret to tell,” and Jaune or something quickly says they don’t have time to argue anyway, and everyone moves on. No one is sure that it’s just James’s semblance, but Ruby declares that they have to try and break his aura and trust that there’s a fix - keeping the themes consistent, what with Emerald easily accepted right there. However, there’s still Salem reforming and the virus infecting Penny to think of, so they start making their whole plan as it is in the real show.

When Winter helps Marrow escape, she tells him that there’s something very wrong with James (even noticing about his eyes,) and he - like Robyn - thinks she’s just putting too much faith in him, and Winter sadly says that maybe he’s right, but that she just would never have believed he’d do something like that, insisting that his other choices made sense, that every war takes sacrifice, but this was just too far, cruel, evil, even. Marrow gets more serious and agrees.  Qrow and Robyn, having escaped, start realizing everything that’s happening, they start to become even more frantic to find James and break his aura, which kicks into overdrive when they hear the message saying they only have an hour to go before James drops a bomb on Mantle. Qrow says “James is never going to forgive himself if that happens,” and Robyn declares “I’ll never forgive him if that happens.” Qrow gets angry and Robyn gets angry in response, reminding Qrow - and the audience - that James is the one who chose to turn his semblance on.

When the two run into Winter and Marrow, Winter starts telling them that James is planning to bomb Mantle, and Qrow gives her a quick low-down of James’s semblance. Winter then gets a quick “I knew it,” moment. Winter convinces Qrow she’ll break James’s aura or die trying and for him and Robyn to focus on getting the other Ace Ops out of commission since James will let her get close enough to land a strong enough hit. Qrow is really reluctant to leave it in her hands, but she assures him “I’m not going to let the General destroy himself,” and Qrow - despite his clear early problems with Winter, says “I know you won’t.” The fight goes down pretty much the same, with the kids still all going hard and Winter getting in the final hit that puts James out of commission. Nora, Jaune, and Oscar are all like “Did that do it, is he back to how he should be?” And Winter says she’ll bring him to a medical room. Nora and Jaune exchange an unsure look, Nora ventures “Just a medical room?” And Winter sighs, looks a little unsure herself, but then nods. Ozpin then speaks up, saying “She’s right. I... I trust him. I have to trust him.” Jaune, Nora, and Ren then agree, nodding, and then things start continuing like normal, only Winter is keeping Ironwood in a medical room instead of a jail cell.

When James wakes back up, he’s himself again. He has to deal with the fact that because of his choice to turn his semblance on, he almost caused destruction and death to innocent people at his own hand and when there was absolutely no real reason to. He has to grapple with the hurt he caused as well as knowing he literally had no control and couldn’t even feel horror or guilt over what he was doing in the moment. He could go on to Vacuo, but he knows the general population of Atlas and Mantle won’t just accept that it was his semblance at work. He’s going to be hated, maybe even arrested as a villain, his position and his ability to lead that he’s strived for in an effort to help whoever he can is gone, many of the people who were his allies will never look at him the same way again, he hurt Penny so much, and he can’t just get rid of that because he never meant to and hadn’t been able to control it - and it was still because he made the choice to turn on his semblance in the first place. But. No, in this version, he doesn’t die, and Qrow would talk to him and connect with him again somewhere down the line, and when James started berating himself, Qrow would softly and sympathetically say

“You idiot. I know you didn’t do this.”

This is by no means perfect. This is by no means without flaw. And I know my Ironqrow shipping impacted it, but you know what? I don’t care. I wrote this for me. This is the headcanoned version that’s going to live in my head rent free, canon or otherwise. 

[keishajay]

I meant for this whole review to go in one post, but damn, I had a lot of complaints, way more than I thought once I started writing them down.  Some are nitpicky; most are related to characters and writing choices.  For the fans of this series, I did enjoy this series for what it is, but I’ll never defend it as great literature.  It’s Sharknado levels of fun, and I live for stupid shit like that.  For the haters, enjoy.  Oh, and spoilers ahead.

Now, on to the cons, and hoo boy, are there a lot of them.  First, I was shocked to see this was labeled book 7 and not 6.  I had no interest in reading Tower of Dawn, as it was marketed as a side story novella.  Kingdom of Ash expects you to have read it and spends little to no time explaining who all these new characters are.  It’s not confusing, just annoying for those of us not invested in Chaol’s story enough to read the novella.  If you like Chaol, more power to you.  I just didn’t care enough about what was a sure outcome to waste my time reading a novella about him and only him.  Nesryn goes with him as well, but she was barely a character in the fifth (fourth? I don’t know anymore) book, more a cool background piece than a real person.  That’s not nearly enough for me to pick up an entire book.

Maas brings in four new “personalities” from Tower of Dawn that really just take up space and fawn over Aelin, just like everyone else.  Hasar is just a crabbier version of Aelin; Sartaq loves Nesryn and that’s it; Yrene is Chaol’s wife who’s a healer and that’s it; and Borte likes arguing with her fiance.  They might be more interesting in ToD, but here, they just read like cardboard cutouts.  They’re unnecessary and boring.

And speaking of unnecessary, there are WAY too many POV characters in these books.  What started with a handful of mostly essential characters has now become a library’s worth of them.  Even Lysandra’s ward, Evangeline, gets a couple POV bits to herself. Why?  They added nothing to the story aside from remind us that she was there and still alive.  More POVs should only ever be added to further the story or themes.  I kid you not, Elide and Lorchan are together for 90% of the last two books, and for some reason, they both have POV chapters.  Elide was already established and should’ve been the only one necessary, but you know, Lorchan’s hot so we should hear him angst too.  And that is all he does, by the way, angsts over Elide.  Hell, by the end, I was a little surprised Abraxos didn’t have his own POV chapter.

Maas also adds nonsensical things in to ramp up the drama.  The worst offender is the character Darrow.  He and TWO other old men boss Aedion around throughout this entire book, because... reasons, I guess.  They don’t recognize Aelin as queen, fine.  But they’re three old dudes against Aedion, who literally commands their entire army and the fire-bringer all the people in their whole country rally to.  If anyone can give me a logical reason why Aedion didn’t just ignore every order they attempted to give him, I’m all ears.  Instead, he tiptoes around them constantly and outright steals his own army from under their noses to do what he wants anyway.  Why?  They all know damn well Aelin is the rightful queen and they wouldn’t even have an army without her and Aedion.  She could crush them under her thumb, and they all know that too.  Hell, Aedion’s treason would even be forgiven in moments when she took her throne back from... no one.  Darrow isn’t even trying to be king of Terrasen.  He just doesn’t like the idea of this bratty teenager being his queen, and who can blame him?  Yeah, I know she wants her country to be different, but she can’t change anything from the sidelines when the old rules are the only things keeping those men in power over her.  There is no good reason for Aedion to obey any of their orders.  They can do nothing to stop him, and they all know it.  They are literally only there so Aedion has someone besides Lysandra to be pissed off at.

Speaking of Aedion being pissed off at Lysandra.  For the haters out there, yes, he has every right to be mad at her.  She may not have been the one to come up with this insanity, sure, but she knew Aelin suspected it might be necessary.  Telling the one person who foams at the mouth anytime someone gets within spitting distance of his cousin that maybe something terrible could happen to her, making this plan necessary, should be at the top of your to-do list.  She knew damn well what she was doing and how he would react the entire time Aelin was teaching her to play pretend.  He should be angry with her for not telling him what was going through Aelin’s head, not for following the orders of their queen.  Yes, him throwing he naked out in the snow was a major dick move, and I’m glad that she didn’t let him forget it.  What I don’t condone is his reaction to seeing Aelin again.  He just hugs her like nothing ever happened.  He’s an asshole to Lysandra for months, but he just forgives Aelin for everything as soon as he sees her.  I’m sorry but no.  I would’ve forgiven the entire conflict between him and Lysandra being tedious if he had just punched her in the face before he hugged her.  God knows she deserves it for all the shit she’s pulled over the course of six books.

So, I hate Aelin Galathynius.  Like straight up hate her.  She went from being a brat in the first few books to being the worst case of Mary Sueitis I have ever seen outside of self-insert fanfiction.  First, she’s a secret princess, a “twist” anyone with a brain could see coming.  She’s also somehow the best at everything she does, even though she shows no evidence of any of it.  How does the country’s best assassin get caught?  On top of that, how does anyone even know who the country’s best assassin is?  Shouldn’t hiding your identity be rule number one in the assassin handbook?  This shit-licker could’ve been any happy-ass teenager with a knife pretending to be this famous assassin when they caught her.  How would they know?  Answer, they shouldn’t have any idea (that would’ve also made for a much more interesting story).  So, not only is she the best at everything she tries for reasons, she’s also the only one in the whole damn world with fire magic, the only thing that can hurt the demons for a majority of the series.  And she doesn’t just have regular old everyday fire magic.  No, she has fire to rival fifteen suns going supernova at the same time.  She’s also the prettiest and smartest and nicest and snarkiest and funniest girl in the world.  She outsmarts someone thousands of years old who could’ve snapped her neck or dropped her in to a literal Hell with a flick of her wrist.  But no, Princess Mary Sue wants her new boytoy free, so the villainess has to get tricked into letting him go.  Now, let’s not forget she’s also the Chosen One who deus ex machinas her way out of sacrificing herself because no one can do anything without her there to save the day.  Seriously, no one ever wins anything unless she’s there.  It happens more than once in this book.  Her boytoy and company show up to rescue her from aforementioned villainess just as she’s breaking herself out, and they can’t get her chains off until she somehow shows them how to unlock them.  She then proceeds to get them out of the country through her magic of summoning deus ex machinas whenever she needs one, and they arrive just in time to rescue Chaol and Nesryn from certain doom.  She stops a cascading river with fire because science, and when all hope is lost back home, she shows up on a magical white deer with the Rohir- oops, I mean her army.  She also somehow holds off two of the most powerful creatures in the world with her assassin skills and barely any magic, because... villains have to lose, I guess.  You know what Aelin loses by the end of the book?  Her humanity, which she suddenly cares about ten pages before it’s gone.  Aedion lost his father and at least half an army at his command.  Manon lost the only people she really cared about in the whole world, and she could do nothing but watch them sacrifice themselves.  And Aelin lost her humanity when she’s already been living as a fae since book 3.  Oh God, how will she ever survive such a loss?  She is actually the worst.

These books, this one in particular, are clearly written with a younger audience in mind (much younger than me at least, and I’m 30), and I strongly believe the target audience is girls.  There is so much description of how beautiful the men in this series are that it almost borders on obscene.  I do appreciate having a clear picture of what characters look like, but I do not need to know about all the rippling muscles and long fingers that all the men in this series seem to have.  Even bookworm Dorian is described as being oh-so-sexy even though he doesn’t appear to have ever handled a weapon in his life.  There is a lot of pandering to the female audience, especially with the sex scenes.  In a YA novel, these are pretty inappropriate.  She started with sex scenes being a fade-to-black kind of event, and now, almost every single one is described in disgusting detail.  I like romance as much as the next girl, but if I wanted soft-core porn, I’d read romance novels.  To top that shift off, she still insists on using “rutting” as a substitute for “fucking,” and I think that’s what bothers me the most about the whole change here.  They are completely interchangeable in every context, to the point where I just read “rutting” as “fucking” every single time.  This isn’t Brandon Sanderson’s silly but story-appropriate swearing.  It’s just lazy writing.  And detailed descriptions of sex are okay, but swearing?  Someone call Takamata.  We need to start the Inquisition. (History of the World reference for anyone confused.)

This story ends exactly as you should expect it to, with a happily ever after.  None of the main characters die, and those with names go out as sacrifices, which is honestly consistent with the rest of the deaths in this series.  The deaths we do get are mostly to make the main characters feel bad for no real reason.  Aedion even flat-out states that Gavriel could’ve stayed inside the walls, and there is no argument, author or characters, as to why he had to go outside.  At least the Thirteen’s sacrifice makes more sense.  It was still pretty dumb to have them go out at all, but I don’t know if I could come up with a better way to destroy those witch towers.  What they did was noble and understandable in context, though there were probably any number of ways it could’ve been avoided.  I’ve seen Desolation of Smaug.  Just drop a dragon/whale/elephant-Lysandra on top of the tower before they even get it fixed up to move again.

One last complaint that I have regarding the ending is largely the villains.  There are three of them, and all three kind of go out like bitches.  Erawan, the dickhead pulling the strings since book 1, gets tricked and healed to death.  There are a lot of millennia-old creatures getting tricked into doing stupid things in these books.  Manon’s grandmother (who never gets a name by the way) gets blown up by Asterin.  Honestly, hers was probably the most satisfying end of the three because Asterin got the vengeance she deserved for her hunter and child.  Maeve somehow became the biggest threat halfway through the series, and she meets her end in the most extravagant fashion, impaled by Fenrys and then decapitated by Aelin and burned to ash.  What irritates me most about Maeve is she could’ve been great.  If anyone has read the manga, Magi, you know what I’m talking about.  Maeve is discount Gyokuen with half the threat and less than a quarter the sense.  Where Gyokuen is highly capable, both as a fighter and a politician, Maeve is kind of a pushover who gets tricked by our “heroes” numerous times.  She’s shown preparing for all sorts of unlikely eventualities, but she somehow can’t handle the plucky teenagers.  Give me a break.  From the moment you meet her, you know Gyokuen is going to be one of those bad guys that will require some clever thinking to defeat.  I felt like Maeve could just be snuck up on and murdered by anyone who knew her schedule.  Her last ditch effort against Aelin was clever, but other than that, she barely puts up a fight despite all the fear and hype she gets from almost every character in the book.

Now, like I said above, I did enjoy these books.  I don’t feel like my time was wasted or that I was manipulated by them at all.  I had fun with them the same way that I have fun with SyFy channel original movies.  The characters and story had so much more potential than what this amounted to, but I don’t hate this series at all.  Yes, the subplot with the gods was idiotic and unnecessary, but the valg were interesting as an enemy type.  Yes, the romance shoved down my throat could be awful at times, but some of the relationships were genuinely sweet.  Chaol and Dorian are the best bros, and I love Lysandra taking it upon herself to protect this little girl when she could’ve looked the other way.  Manon’s relationship with Asterin was great as well.  Do I wish it was better?  Absolutely.  Should it be boycotted by everyone?  Of course not.  Despite their problems, these books are fun, fluffy, popcorn movie fun, and sometimes, that’s just fine.

[samzdat]

The Haters Have Come At Me, They Preach Primordial Light

Not worth posting on the main blog, but too funny not to write somewhere: I have received my favorite hate mail. Nothing will ever come close. I am metaphysically weak, it appears. A gaggle of Traditionalists are trying to recruit me to their cause. It is recommended that I read Guenon and Schuon specifically, because my metaphysics is - in their phrasing - borked. I am plebbishly fooled by modern materialism, and thus all attempts at analysis so far have been useless. It's like I'm "trying to reinvent the thighmaster," which, I must admit, is a really good diss. Those who do know the True Nature of Reality are, clearly, members of an early schism in the Theosophical society. Against the haters: it would be a terrible shame if I'd already read my Evola, Guenon, Eliade. It would be an even bigger shame if I knew that Guenon and Schuon led two branches of the movement, later bitterly opposed, and thus anyone suggesting both is likely a fool. It would be the biggest of shames if I'd, in addition, read a history of Traditionallism like a month ago and receieved the invitation today ("Against the Modern World", the history, is highly recommended). The collective Unconscious is surely fickle, and/or your spies are absolute garbage at their jobs. Traditionalism is the belief that the modern world has lost sight of core spiritual doctrines - normally assumed to have been esoterically passed down by ritual orders, e.g. Freemasons, Sufis, Gymnosophists, etc. They abhor "syncretism" and prefer Perennialism - these doctrines preach the same truth, but they most be followed on their own terms. No mixing-and-matching, in other words. It was generally assumed that the West had lost its own doctrines (with the exception of a few remnants of the Knights of the Templar and Hermetic Freemasons), thus a turn towards Orientalism. It is a certainty that those Easterners have retained their spiritual practices, a truth widely understood by devout members of Ancient Secret Societies, Kombucha companies, and that guy Jeff who's, like, *really* into Kerouac. Accordingly, many of the major Traditionalists converted to Islam and/or Hinduism. Guenon really founded Traditionalism, Schuon was his closest student, Schon's life is exccellent. They had a massive falling out due to Schuon's behavior. After conversion to Islam, Schuon then spent three months (three!) with the Alawiyya Order, flasified an ijaza to found his own order (or received one for something very different, then used it to found his own order), and went back to Europe. There he was basically a new age guru for aristos - in his Sufi order, he trained them into the spiritual perfect of ancient doctrines by making up all his own ancient doctrines. Somewhere in there he was wandering down the Swiss streets, saw a statue of Mary, and had a spiritual revelation. He then incorporated Virgin Mary worship into Sufi practice, focusing on this idol he'd discovered - weird. He renamed the order the Maryamiyya order for Mary. Schuon was also a painter and a poet. As you'd expect, he wrote a lot about being the spiritual vessel of sacred truth, and painted just the same. Since he knew the Truth and no one else did, he incorporated his artistic revelations into the Order's practices: the faux-sufi artistos of Old Europe were directed to observe *Schuon's paintings* during their meditations, traditional Sufi dhikr now replaced with Schuon's poems. It gets so much better. Schuon fell in love with a teenage-to-20s girl named Madelaine (born 1915, they met some time in the early-mid 30s), but she rejected him. Bummer. Not all was lost, however, because he had a revelation that Madelaine was *actually* the Virgin Mary, and her rejection of him was meant to remind him of the Eternal Feminine that man loves always. His love was "cosmic." Never one to be anything besides a screaming self-parody, Schuon composed poems to her and *made them the core prayer of the dhikr ceremony*. This lasted for a few decades until Schuon, always interested in Native American mythology, received Black Elk Speaks as a present. He then travelled to Indiana to meet with an Anthropologist, took part in a Sun Ceremony, and decided that he had to move the core Maryamiyya Order to Indiana. They relocated, bought a big house, and syncretized their already interesting form of Islam with Schuon's vague understanding of Crow spirituality, Hinduism, sorry, "Hinduism", and a host of other spiritualities. Of course, Schuon's interpretations of his own poetry and painting were a major component. It was at this point that Schuon realized he was God. The revelation (obvious in retrospect) enabled Schuon to truly find the Primordial Truth, and put it into practice. Schuon did what any God would do: he organized a bunch of orgies and/or naked night dances on the Indiana compound, promoted "vertical marriage" with all his followers' wives and himself (figure it out), and intensified his poetic activity. It's more or less because of this that the few photos anyone has of Schuon in his older years are of him naked, save a horned Viking helmet and/or a Coachella-style "Native American Headdress", surrounded by other naked New Agers, looking for all the world like a minor character in a Roberto Bolano novel. Just so we're clear: all of these people were pursuing an ancient, secret truth, one passed down for thousands of years. They pursued this by taking part in syncretic rituals that involved banging Schuon *while reciting love poems to Schuon's long-lost teenage love*. This is only natural: the love of God, after all, must be emulated by man. Schuon is still widely popular among the new age crowd. His books are sealed away from the spiritually underdeveloped, and can only be found in the Metaphysics section of your local Barnes & Noble.

[bronzewool]

@notsomajestic @theawkwardarchaeologist​

I don’t have time to go into great detail so I'll try and keep this short. No, it’s not Transformers related. It's in my current fandom with the Final Fantasy VII RP community.

Even people who have never played the game at least know the plot synopsis to FF7. Spiky blonde guy with a giant sword goes off on an adventure with his ragtag group of companions to kill a guy who wants to summon a meteor to destroy the planet. You have two girls in your party you can romance and they are the most beloved characters in the game for how well they are written and get along with Cloud despite being polar opposites of each other.

Now, drama has existed in the FFVII fandom for decades over which girl was the "right" ship. The short answer is there is no "right" ship. You control who Cloud romances so there is no canon to debate over. Besides, Square Enix knows how to milk cash from their customers and will continue to hold that carrot on a stick if it means they stay invested and buy more merch. Story-wise, there is also no right ship because both women meant a great deal to Cloud for different reasons that go beyond physical attraction if you know their backstories and character arcs. Cloud loved both equally. End of story.

So, getting back to my encounter with a certain individual in my little corner of tumblr. This mun has a habit of making posts of cute "little reminders" why Aerith and Cloud are the perfect match from in-game content and supplementary materials (while also ignoring Tifa’s canon material). At first, I thought it was cute and harmless since it’s their muse so of course they’re allowed to be biased, but there was clearly a lot of passive-aggressiveness under that cutesy persona.

Eventually, I had enough and made a post venting how tired I am of this age-old debate and don't give a fuck which ship is canon because this is an RP COMMUNITY WHERE CANON DOES NOT MATTER (the funny part is I never mentioned them by name and yet everyone in my social circle instantly knew who I was vague blogging about).

They also must have known the post was aimed at them because they made their own passive-aggressive post about how when Tifa-stans bash Aerith its ok, but when Aerith-stans state “facts” suddenly it's hate speech.

...

When did I ever say I was a Tifa-stan? My perfect match for Cloud is the silver haired man in the black trench coat who wants him dead. Does it sound like I'm a Tifa-stan to you? I like both girls but I'm not playing favourites. I like that Cloud never officially ends up with either girl. That’s my jam.

Also, if you spend more than five minutes online you'd know Tifa has way more haters than Aerith does. As far as the fandom is concerned Aerith is best girl who can do no wrong. Like seriously, the hate Tifa gets for existing is ridiculous and I don’t know why.

Wow, in over five years of rping on tumblr I finally offended someone and stirred up drama. Well, fuck you too bitch!

[lilbreck]

AGoT Chapters 14 - 18

If you want to follow along, I'm tagging my ASoIaF reading as tonya rereads asoiaf.

Chapter 14: Catelyn III

Catelyn is cracking. Her world completely stopped. Thankfully Robb is there to try and pull her back.

Sobbing, she pulled her hand free of his and covered her ears against those terrible howls. “Make them stop!” she cried. “I can’t stand it, make them stop, make them stop, kill them all if you must, just make them stop!”

I think this really highlights that, although she’s married to a Stark and her children are Starks, there is a part of them that she will never share. Much like Tyrion and the others, she seems to regard the direwolves with… trepidation.

Looking on the scene where the man comes to the tower to kill Bran and I have to believe that it’s not a coincidence that he almost slits her throat but she stops it. I knew that Bran’s direwolf would save the day, but I’m so glad that we see her fighting hard to live. I’m also very glad that, after her rest, she’s back to being the woman that Winterfell and her children need her to be.

Yeah, I have my issues with her, but I can’t help but love her as well.

Catelyn gave her firstborn a challenging look. “If you are to rule in the north, you must think these things through, Robb. Answer your own question. Why would anyone want to kill a sleeping child?”

While I love that she’s teaching him this now, this is shit they should have been teaching him from a young age. He’s the heir to Winterfell, he should have been trained. Again, I love Ned at Cat, but they’ve coddled their children too much.

I fucking love that Catelyn is figuring this shit out, but why wasn’t someone figuring it out while she was in her grief fugue? Why do they not have a paranoid asshole always suspicious? Okay, I’m not sure if this really earns the “fucking northern fools” tag, but the fact that Robb wasn’t trained does, so we’ll wave this one in as well.

I’d like to mention that Catelyn riding off to take care of shit fills me with joy. We know it’s not going to work, but I still love it.

Chapter 15: Sansa I

Age 11

Not gonna lie, I’ve been waiting for this chapter. It’s going to hurt, because I know what’s in store for her, but she’s still my baby. Granted, she starts out as a prissy, entitled, stuck up baby, but the Oompa Loompas had a song about where that comes from.

The septa was not appeased. “You’re a good girl, Sansa, but I do vow, when it comes to that creature you’re as willful as your sister Arya.” She scowled. “And where is Arya this morning?”

“She wasn’t hungry,” Sansa said, knowing full well that her sister had probably stolen down to the kitchen hours ago and wheedled a breakfast out of some cook’s boy.

I’d like to point out two things here: It’s obvious that the septa uses Arya as an example of how “bad girls” act in order to make sure Sansa stays in line. It’s possible that her mother does the same thing. You know what this does? Pits sisters against each other. However, Sansa still covers for Arya here, knowing that her septa would probably not look favorably on Arya’s actions. If Sansa really was a nasty bully like people claim, she would have relished the chance here to get her sister in trouble.

Reading this chapter it just drives home both how young both Sansa and Arya are and how sheltered. Sansa was raised to be such a proper lady and all of her septa and mother’s teachings seemed to have made her look down on anyone who was below her in station. And Arya doesn’t seem to realize that she can’t just get away with anything and everything.

One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father. Sansa kept hoping he would tell Arya to behave herself and act like the highborn lady she was supposed to be, but he never did, he only hugged her and thanked her for the flowers. That just made her worse.

This right there. They are traveling with the King and his family, but Ned doesn’t even try to reign in his daughter. This shit is part of what leads to everything going wrong, IIRC. Yet another subtle example of questionable parenting in the series. If you coddle your children, they’re headed for a world of pain.

This scene where Sansa is terrified by Ilyn Payne, notice that Lady reacts. This shows that Lady and Sansa were already bonded. Just imagine what that means for her losing Lady when they were already that close. I think, because Lady is lost so early in the series, people like to dismiss what that meant for Sansa. Of course, a lot of those people like to pretend that she’s not really a Stark at all.

I’m amused that Sandor was under the impression that he was the one who frightened Sansa. Did he not notice she was shaking and terrified before she turned around and saw him? Hell, he had to grab her shoulders before she turned around.

And then there comes Joffrey playing the part of the gallant prince. For a girl fed a steady diet of fairy tales and songs then told she would marry a wonderful prince, he had to have seemed like a dream. My poor baby. She does manage to find her feet, even feeling foolish, and pay a compliment to Cersei.

“I can answer,” Sansa said quickly, to quell her prince’s anger.

Even though she’s infatuated with Joffrey, she’s quick to want to head off his anger. Given that her father doesn’t seem one to fly off the handle, you have to wonder if she’s getting some sort of subconscious feeling that he’s temperamental and that’s not a good thing. Of course, this could just be a throw away line that means nothing.

He drew his sword and showed it to her; a longsword adroitly shrunken to suit a boy of twelve, gleaming blue steel, castle-forged and double-edged, with a leather grip and a lion’s-head pommel in gold.

I just wanted to put this here to compare it with how Robb was reprimanded the chapter before this:

“…Never draw your sword unless you mean to use it. How many times must I tell you, foolish boy?”

Yeah, I don’t think Joffrey was all that well trained either. When Sansa thinks to herself that “her prince would never love her if she seemed stupid” you really have to wonder this shit that everyone put into her mind when they were training her to be some lord’s trophy wife. Yeah, I’m bitter, what of it?

You remember when I said that Ned’s indulging of Arya helps lead to everything going wrong? The scene at the Trident is exactly what I’m talking about. Arya knows damn well they’ve been interrupted by the prince, but she yells at him like they were in the North and he was just another lord up there. Hell, she even starts throwing rocks at him. If Joffrey had killed Arya, I doubt a damn thing would have happened to him. And Sansa, who’s been fed on a steady stream of songs and fairy tales is no help as she yells at both of them that they’re spoiling everything.

I’m pretty sure that Nymeria saved Arya’s life here. I have no doubt that Joffrey would have killed her, and she was weaponless and backed against a tree. As soon as Arya attacked Joffrey, I’m sure Myca’s fate was sealed, and as soon as Nymeria attacked him, a direwolf was going to have to die.

When I finish this book, my wrap up post is going to talk about how this chapter shows the core of what character traits in both Stark girls that are going to be sharped, honed, and perfected for where I think their story will ultimately end up in the series.

Chapter 16: Eddard III

You know, all the people who claim that Sansa is the reason that Lady and Myca died…

What the fuck did you think her word would do?

Cersei was damn determined to have a pelt and Lady was the only direwolf around. Robert clearly didn’t give a fuck and, even if Sansa had sworn up and down that Arya was telling the truth, Cersei would have still demanded and Robert would have given in. And Myca was already dead.

Lady didn’t die as a punishment for Sansa’s imagined sins. She died because Joffrey was humiliated and Cersei couldn’t stand that. She died because Robert had no fucking backbone.

Man, I’m a fucking huge Sansa fan and even I don’t think she has as much power as some of her haters seem to think she has.

Chapter 17: Bran III

Okay, I’m a sucker for a good dream sequence and this opening one is fucking wonderful, IMO.

He saw Sansa crying herself to sleep at night, and he saw Arya watching in silence and holding her secrets hard in her heart.

Okay, I feel slow, but what secrets is he talking about here? Unless it’s about where she had Nymeria. If that’s not it, someone please let me know. I have more questions:

One shadow was dark as ash, with the terrible face of a hound. Another was armored like the sun, golden and beautiful. Over them both loomed a giant in armor made of stone, but when he opened his visor, there was nothing inside but darkness and thick black blood.

These three are, I’m assuming Sandor, Jaime, and the third I’m guessing is Gregor. Am I right in that? I mean, he’s a giant of a man and the “darkness and thick black blood” would fit with his death via Oberyn’s poison and the removal of his head.

As we go through this dream and see Bran realize that the Night King is coming and he’s told that’s why he has to live, remember this is a SEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD. Sorry, my babies suffer so much.

“Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?” he heard his own voice saying, small and far away.

And his father’s voice replied to him. “That is the only time a man can be brave.”

Now, Bran, the crow urged. Choose. Fly or die.

Death reached for him, screaming.

Bran spread his arms and flew.

Yeah, I’m gonna be over here crying for a bit. Okay, I’ve got a scary confession. I can see an endgame for Arya, Jon, and Sansa after the battle with the Night King is over. I can see the roles they could play in the world after. I don’t remember seeing what role Bran would play, and that scares me. Because, what if he ends up like the three eyed raven?

Chapter 18: Catelyn IV

“…I had to beg Brandon to spare Petyr’s life. He let him off with a scar.”

How much of these books would be different if Brandon had just went ahead and killed him. Seriously, just think about it. You know how I said I wanted all the men around Daenerys impaled like Vlad did to his enemies? Petyr should be right there beside them, suffering because the damn pike didn’t go through his brain. I’ve got some damn feelings on this.

 That’s all I’m reading for tonight, but I’ll definitely be reading more tomorrow. Probably another ten chapters at least. A Jon chapter is next!

[carishio-blog]

Let's Talk About Ships in the RWBY Fandom!

I've been involved in the RWBY Fandom now for almost a year. I hopped on after the end of Volume 3, and it admittedly took me a long time to get into the show and give it the fair shake it deserved. When I finally did, I finished the entire show in a day and fell in love with the adventures of Team RWBY as well as the amazing side characters. There are way too many for me to even possibly list, so I won't get into names in specifics. After watching it, I decided I wanted to get involved with others who loved the show like me, and that served as my introduction to the fandom as a whole. I liked Facebook pages and joined groups, as well as even got into the art of role playing which has become a staple in my life. It's lead to me making great friends that will last a lifetime, and I can't thank the show enough for it. However, as I delved deeper into the fandom as a whole, I began learning about something that I didn't realize was so popular: shipping. When I first heard the term, I was very confused about what it meant and what its purpose was, but I quickly learned thanks to a few people. At first, I only shipped Arkos because it was canon for those three beautiful seconds, and I thought that was the criteria for a ship. I soon learned so much more about it and moved away from Arkos in favor of other stuff that piqued my interest, most notably Snowbird thanks to a very special someone in my life. I loved seeing the art of all these different couples and characters together, since some were just adorable beyond belief for me. I had a blast talking about just about any ship with anyone since everyone seemed so relaxed and calm about it. Then I encounter something that I should've been prepared for, yet young, naive me didn't see coming: toxicity. I soon discovered the ongoing war between Bumblebee (I know it's also Bumbleby, but I prefer the former) and Black Sun. This was when I weighed in with my honest opinions on the characters as a whole and discussed what I liked better. I talked about how I didn't like Yang and found her pretty uninteresting, and how I felt Sun was the better option. Those comments led to a lot of people being very unhappy with me, calling me a homophobe for not liking Bumblebee and a hater because I don't like Yang. Hearing hateful comments like that really discouraged me, especially since I believed this fandom was so much different from other ones I heard about. I was proven wrong and since have tried to limit my opinion on Ships (which hasn't proven very helpful... I can flip flop a lot of the time). However, recently I have read a lot of posts about why Bumblebee will be canon, why it's been foreshadowed along with many other ships, and I wanted to discuss my opinion on something important. Disclaimer: This is NOT a Bumblebee hate post or rant. Just because I do not like the ship doesn't mean I will hate someone for liking it. If you can find something you enjoy about it where I can't, more power to you. I love having reasonable discussions about things like this with friends, but I cannot stand when people try to force their opinions on me by throwing their beliefs at me without even wanting to listen to my reasons. So, with that being said let me get to my main point. When we discuss something that we hold near and dear to our hearts, we get biased about it. I know most likely all of you who read this don't follow professional sports, but for those who do they'll get where I'm coming from. When I talk about my favorite baseball team, the New York Yankees, I will get biased about my team and talk about how great they are, even when they are horrible. However, I also understand that my team has flaws, ones that I cannot fix and hope that the people who are in charge of the team will. Ships and sports teams from this standpoint are one in the same. When we talk about our love for Bumblebee, Snowbird, or whatever we want to ship, we will get biased and defend our opinions on why our couple is the best one. There's nothing wrong with liking a ship and wanting to defend it, but at the same time it does become time to face facts and understand that your world does not revolve around it. The show itself does not revolve around it. Even though we all talk about how we want the writers to do something to make our ship happen, most of us understand that that's impossible because it takes away from the show and ruins the vision of the creators. However, the vocal minority doesn't want this. I say Bumblebee is the biggest offender of this only because that's the ship I've seen it the most with. That doesn't mean other ships aren't guilty of this, because we all are. I'm simply going on experiences I've had. I've seen people basically get to the point where they make it out to seem that Blake and Yang's entire lives revolve around each other and their actions are all because of the other person, and that is something I simply cannot stand. Romantic subplots are fine, but they do need to be done right under good circumstances. Let me describe it with one of my favorite pieces of animation: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood (Which I will refer to as FMA or Brotherhood from here on out). The love between Ed and Winry is very apparent throughout the entire show, and is even blatantly mentioned by Winry multiple times: once when she's leaving Amestris to go back to Rush Valley and again while at Fort Briggs repairing Ed's automail. The romantic subplot is there clearly, but never does it overshadow the plot. Ed's mission stays the same throughout the show, and only a few minor detours are made because of these feelings. However, never do his motives and character completely change because of his love for Winry. He still wants to get Al his body back and stop the Homonculi after uncovering their schemes. The same can be said for the RWBY Fandom, and it's something we need to understand as shippers. The plot does not and should not revolve around your OTP. We all have different reasons for starting to watch RWBY in the first place, but I think one fact we can all agree on is that the plot is damn good most of the time. The show has an engaging story that is pretty simple to follow (even though there are some plot holes revolving around the science of the world), and the characters mesh into the story nicely. I know I enjoyed Weiss' arc in Volume 4 a great deal because of how much we learned about her as a person as well as her family. We can tell that the rest of the Schnee's will play a major role in the plot for the rest of the series after that, whether it be through Weiss' personal story or even something bigger down the line. We simply do not know yet, and that excites me. I love being left to wonder what people are really up to and trying to understand them by studying their actions. I also very much enjoyed learning more about Salem and her men, as Tyrian, Watts and Hazel all seem like very promising and great additions to the show and their actions. I'm truly excited about learning about Lionheart to see what Watts has planned with him. With that being said, they're the main focus. Team RWBY are the main characters (with Ruby really being protag kun even if she doesn't act like it), and Salem and her team are the antagonistic force. Anything else, including Weiss' family and Adam vs Blake is secondary and side stuff for each of those characters to face. To say that a romantic development between two characters should be front and center or that their actions are all happening because of the other is not fair. Characters have their own goals and aspirations that do not revolve around their "lover". This is a problem that I see a a majority of the time. People make it look like their ship is taking the spotlight of the character, and it should clearly be seen that a romantic relationship is growing because of it. That is not the case at all. That should never be the case, because then you are left with a very weak character with nothing remotely relatable about them or even likable in most cases. Personal feelings aside for Yang and Blake (since I prefer one a lot more than the other), both do have goals that drive them: Yang wants to find her mother and be a good sister for Ruby, while Blake wants to stop Adam and take back the White Fang. These goals are what these characters stand for and want to accomplish, and anything else is really secondary. Love is not in their foreseeable futures in my opinion, just like basically the entire rest of the cast. A show that revolves around romance (unless it is a romance genre theme) is not interesting unless there is good plot behind it. Shows like FMA, Samurai Jack, Hunter X Hunter and Avatar represent this very well. While there are some romantic themes if any at all that show up in it, they never overshadow the plot and character growth, and never does the romance cause a character to change completely and help them grow. That should never be the case in shows like this, since at least for me that's a cop out and a weak excuse for character development. We watch RWBY for great story telling and interesting characters, not romance. A ship is nice, but it shouldn't be your main focus. Your life will not end because your OTP didn't become canon. The show will not be ruined for you either, and if it is I can say you weren't truly a fan of the show. A real fan wouldn't let something so meaningless ruin something so great for them. No matter what you ship, I will respect your opinion and not discourage you from liking it. I want everyone to have an enjoyable and fun experience in the fandom like I have had for almost a year now. However, I also want people to be educated and understand that we cannot let a ship ruin a show for someone or let it dictate how we view characters. We as a whole need to understand that our OTPs aren't what dictate the show. Don't let your personal bias cloud your mind and make you think irrationally. Understand that everyone has different views, and just because you throw up a chart or long passage about why your OTP makes the most sense and while it will be canon no matter what you say, it doesn't mean everyone will agree with you. We as humans do not accept definitive answers, and what I am saying here is not a definitive answer to shipping wars in the fandom. I simply just want people to see that we need to be educated and appreciate the show instead of fighting over a ship or making people see how your way is best. For those that took the time to read this post, thank you. I hope you learned something from this and can move on more knowledgeable than when you started. I love you guys as a fandom and hate seeing people ruining it for others as well as trying to ruin it for me because they want to make their opinion the only right one. I understand this is the internet and nobody can agree on it, but I just wanted to voice my opinion on the matter and make us all view Ships in a different light. They're fun to think about, but don't let it dictate your love for the show. I love you RWBY Fandom, and let's keep moving forward and always strive to improve and help each other out. -Carishio