#not triggered by anything in particular
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Let. People. Enjoy. Things.
#comet comments#the world is terrible#and everything is falling apart#and it feels like we are always one moment away#from society collapsing in on itself#so for fucks sake#leave people the fuck alone#and let them enjoy whatever “weird” and “gross” thing#that gives them one ounce of serotonin to help them navigate the hellscape#not triggered by anything in particular#just#you know#a psa
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Experimentation (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Papyrus#Continuing the theme of memories and what Gaster ruined for them haha#He doesn't even have to be here and he's making their lives harder! Par for the course#Lots of things have the potential to trigger their memories - a familiar smell or a food they recognize#But there were so many things they never experienced and sifting between them is very difficult!#Especially considering most of what they ''remember'' is actually just their Reaction to Something - like the smoke smell making them tense#Sans here getting a Reaction for sure tho - being questioned and experimented on does Not feel good#It's Papyrus doing it so that's one thing but even still - not having fun with this#Papyrus is so curious! He wants to know! He always seems to be a bit left out on finding things out haha#Sans being the more science-minded of the two probably has an impact there - ask your brother he'll help figure it out#Unless he really doesn't want to because it feels weird please stop (lol)#Still tho being asked to eat things as an experiment? ''oh hey bro maybe going to grillby's will remind me of something'' ''SANS'' lol#Papyrus didn't mean anything by continuing to ask questions he's just curious!#Sans goes to write down the results and then feels Even Worse so scribbles them out#''don't tell me what to do!'' directed nowhere in particular#Tries really hard to put it out of him mind A Lot#This remembering business sure is uncomfortable!#Look what you did Gaster you took a perfectly fun data-gathering session and turned it into something they'll need therapy for!
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i can and WILL pioneer softer digestion content. why is it so hard to find around here...
#speakin words#v0re#vore talk#soft vore#nonsexual vore#digestion#im v v v touchy and particular about it bc im generally not into the idea of someone being grievously injured or killed in vore stuff#but its hard to find anything that doesnt depict digestion as graphic and cruel#which. no shame to those who like it in that manner i respect everyones feelings in this house. that form of domination n control has appeal#but its super triggering for me!! softer stuff is harder to find
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Today I learned that ppl with adhd are more likely to have allergies... and I'm very much obsessed with this now.
#Random infodumping I know...#but I really love this! On so many levels!#Thinking about hyperfocus and sps/hypersensitivity in particular#Someone who's super into something and unfortunately it's something they're allergic to#they're so caught up in it they don't even realize it's triggering their allergies#until it's undeniably causing them trouble and forces them to drop out of hyperfocus#maybe because their eyes water so much they can't see anything#or they start sneezing in fits and it needs more attention than just a quick noserub#(unfortunately) I'm only adhd and no allergies#So sorry if this is inaccurate...
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here's the thing. yes, some pieces of art are "better" than others. there are many criteria you can measure that with--technical skill, creativity, clarity, conceptual depth, successful execution of the artist's intentions, etc., and i do think it's useful to clarify which ones you're using as a measuring stick. but like, of course you can evaluate art. of course you can be critical (in the "art critic" sense) of art. (among other things, that's one of the most important ways to get better at making art yourself.)
however. when it comes down to evaluating what gets to count as art. what art even gets to have a seat at the table. i will go to bat for the thing that isn't as "good" every single time.
you can say you think a piece of art is bad. you can say you think it lacked technical skill, or clarity, or conceptual depth, and you consider those important elements of a successful work. i might even agree with you. but if you think that means it doesn't matter, someone is going to die on this hill and it isn't going to be me
#this is not apropos of anything#or like directed at anyone in particular#just to be clear#i just had a Thought that triggered something in my art student brain and made this click#because i am being trained how to critique and evaluate art. i know how to objectively and subjectively judge whether something is 'good'#('good' in scare quotes bc that is such a vague metric. i tend to use 'successful' more often)#but the second someone calls something 'bad art' or 'not even art' i will be ready to back it up instantly#and i realized that it boils down to acting like something doesn't matter because it has failed to meet a certain standard#i think all art matters. i think that doodle of a cat you drew in the corner of your math notebook matters#i think that poem you wrote when you were in second grade matters#i think that song you made up and recorded on a voice memo and then cringed when you listened to it later matters#i also think those abstract expressionist artists that everyone loves to hate on matter btw#their art doesn't speak to me that strongly but that doesn't mean it didn't have anything to say#everyone has something to say. and you can have opinions about what they said or how they said it#but you don't get to tell them to stop talking#that includes when that someone is yourself btw#anyway#this has been my monthly-or-so evening ramble#i've been overdue for one honestly#stars has thoughts
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drove by the local vet clinic. for context i used to love taking my dogs there bc i always got to see many cute pets. but this time my stomach just sank and i realised that i'll never enjoy it the same bc i still get flashbacks of when my dog was euthanized (ruptured spleen, insanely sudden and unexpected, rest of family away on trip so i dealt with everything). then i realised it's exactly one month to the day and also at sunset, same time as she died, which made my stomach feel all the tighter and i ended up as a sobbing mess during the drive home. anyways everyone else has moved on and i feel childish that i can't quite do the same but i also feel like i owe chess this grief because i love her so much and i miss her so much
#the day to day is ok now of course but it still hurts just as much when certain things trigger the memories of that particular day#animal death#ką sako lapė#we've been talking about a new dog for me but honestly i don't think i'm ready much as i wish i had the companionship#i just want chess back and that's not a productive place from which to welcome a new puppy#zaya isn't exactly good at emotional support like chess was. if anything i'm zaya's emotional support animal seeing as she's so traumatized
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coming back the next day to my blog terrified of reactions and yea I worry this will get swept under the rug and be made into a non issue
#the problem isn't even dnp at all at this point it's the way fan spaces are so happy to turn a blind eye#bc they know we'll tire out and leave eventually and they'll never have to think about their own behaviour#like y'all have driven people out this way already but we see when it matters and when it doesn't#this isn't about people posting about other stuff or about tour tickets or anything btw v happy for you guys! /gen#more about people who refuse to acknowledge that there's a racism problem in the FANDOM#and congratulate themselves on simply not engaging with poc when they speak up for your own personal comfort#that's the privilege at work again we see when we are just a 'distraction' to you btw#literally the fact that poc fans taking the time and energy and hate and triggers to talk about this instead of abandoning cause#shows that no one's trying to call dnp racist but that doesn't stop from particular remarks and behaviours in the past being racist#i don't think it's a huge ask to acknowledge that the fans around have been trying to get us to shut up and sit down#and been condescending when we didn't#it's not a big ask to acknowledge that your spaces have these microagressions#ik you wouldn't just pass it off as 'keep safe frol discourse' if a buncha people had been homophobic in here#just think a little man no one's saying you can't also enjoy the tour and other stuff while acknowledging racism#again. genuinely happy for everyone who's going to the tour and excited to see more about what they do there#hope this issue also stops being treated like radioactive waste tho
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Friendly reminder that you need to wear gloves and a proper respirator mask when working with resin. They are not optional.
#text post#not triggered by anything in particular but i see too many people online not using proper PPE when using resin
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Chapters: 1/2 Fandom: Hunter X Hunter Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight Characters: Leorio Paladiknight, Kurapika (Hunter X Hunter) Additional Tags: Whump, Whumptober 2024, Blood and Injury, Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Medical Inaccuracies, probably, I'm not Leorio I didn't go to medical school, First Aid, Pining, Mutual Pining, Medical Student Leorio Paladiknight, Mentioned Killua Zoldyck, mentioned Gon Freecs - Freeform, Mentioned Alluka Zoldyck, why does gon not have a mentioned tag?, Mentioned Genei Ryodan | Phantom Troupe, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, no beta we die like kite Series: Part 5 of Crow's Whumptober 2024 Summary:
I place my head between my knees And think, "Do you ever have nights like these?" So separated from my sense of self And the shit you keep up on you bookshelf - Pigeon Pit, Nights Like These
Kurapika ends up on Leorio's doorstep, injured and exhausted though he doesn't quite feel it. Leorio just counts himself lucky that he knows how to help.
#whumptober2024#no.6#no.16#no.18#no.22#not realizing they're injured#it's not my blood#no i can't feel anything#revenge#oh that's not good#hunter x hunter#hxh#hunterxhunter#fic#fanfic#uhh I can't think of any particular trigger warnings for this one#it's just a very injured Kurapika getting bandaged up by his crush who is a med student
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I find it really interesting that in the “anger” playlist intro she says that the common thing about all the songs was that she wrote them while she was feeling anger. This particularly intrigues me about the folklore and evermore songs, because they’re the more clearly fictionally-cloaked songs (other than maybe mad woman). Because it makes me wonder what, ahem, personal situations from her past she was drawing from to write those that made her feel that anger (again other than mad woman, which is pretty obvious). Like, yes they are characters and inspired by other stories but they’re clearly… infused.
#Like what was making her feel that at that particular point#and I know that some of them are pretty easy to guess#(eg would assume illicit affairs would be about situation where she’d been treated like a dirty secret by any of the men she’d been with)#(Tolerate it again could be about many of the men in her life who have belittled her)#(Mad woman is likely the masters situation)#(exile is… more nebulous)#(but again other than mad woman which was still so fresh at the time)#(I’m just curious if anything else… triggered feelings)#i'm not articulating this well i know#ttpd playlists
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I hate when people over simplify or over memeify the culture of Asian Parents and tiger parenting - especially if they aren't Asian themselves. Its extremely normalized abuse and its not really a great look for non-AAPI to have a laugh over it tbh.
Especially in trauma and DID spaces, I feel its important for non-AAPI to be cognicient of just how non-optional it can be in presenting "stellar and perfect" inspite of being severely mentally ill and how deeply that will inherently play into the trauma and often how the system forms.
It's not to say all Asian households have it, or that all Asian households that have it push it to such a length, but its really not a haha-hehe typical Asian thing and it really isn't something to compare to non-AAPI culturally rooted trauma.
#alter: ???#alter: who the fuck knows#not really set off by anyone or anything in particular other than a part in the back being triggered earlier at work and us going#“damn right forgot”#aapi#actually aapi#trauma#ptsd#feel free to reblog
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"you can't just ignore massive narratively consequential chunks of a characters' story that you don't like or disagree with" actually i can. and i do. and it's very easy ^_^
#this is abt harley and joker's entire relationship/dynamic btw#i will never forgive dc for making him a domestic abuser#i'm not a violent person generally but unironically i would give my life savings to fistfight every writer/creator who's been complicit in#that dynamic ^_^ i'm so mad i'm so fuckcing mad#i can excuse child murder / terrorism / assorted mass murder but i draw the line at hitting your partner#(joking. it has nothing to do with my mortality it's literally just a cptsd trigger for me lmfao)#but also the entire thing (heavily queer-coded character acting like a misogynistic wifebeater) is genuinely wildly homophobic and that Also#makes me IMMENSELY uncomfortable#the concept in general is. questionable at best but the way dc writers handled it in particular. fucking gross#this post also applies to bruce being physically abusive to his kids#no i don't consider him a good father but He Would Not Fucking Do That#more importantly ALFRED would not LET him do that#i am so full of rage and malice and resentment#“noooo you can't do that you're removing important bits of their characterization” i do not fucking CARE. go cry harder about it#anyway this isn't in response to anything i'm just in a mood (off my meds)
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what are your thoughts on jasico (jason x nico)? love your blog its so much fun!!!
hope you guys don't mind if I redirect you over to my main blog for questions like this! I'm happy to provide my input on this blog regarding things like the PJO fandom, the poll results, and the books themselves, but for my personal opinions on characters/ships, I think it's best they're reserved for my own blog. I'm so happy that you enjoy the polls, though!! - demigodpolls
#demigodsooc#if this is related to the fanfic collection I just want you guys to know that I'm a multishipper through and through#I have my fave pairings but I'm just not allegiant to anything#so don't worry about whether or not I might dislike the ships you submit fanfics about#I don't actively dislike anything unless it has an uncomfortable age gap#notwithstanding works where writers explicitly make age gaps more appropriate in their fanfics than they are in canon#but since I'm already blabbering in these tags I'll just answer your question here#I'm neutral about jason ships in particular because I just don't think someone with amnesia about their entire life should be dating at all#I just think that's a uniquely vulnerable situation and a new romance is not the answer especially as a teenager#which is not to say that an amnesiac should never date anyone ever but I feel like if a person wakes up in a hospital with total amnesia#it's dangerous to be getting into intense relationships mere weeks/months after the fact like I really think more recovery time is needed#or at least way more than jason was allotted in the books#however! I haaaaaaaaaate how rick went about breaking up jiper and I say that as someone who was never very interested in it to begin with#in fact I would put it on a top 5 Worst Writing Decisions Rick Ever Made In PJO list#but that's just my opinion#but anyways if I were to rank jason ships (again I neither like nor dislike any of them in a canon context)#jasico might be number two on the list c:#divider by @cafekitsune#jasico#sorry for talking about jiper way more than jasico lol I don't have too many thoughts on it? I see why people like it#honestly I'm just in a “I pretend I do not see it” relationship with the cupid chapters#I reread hoo yearly but I almost always skip those scenes because oof queer teen getting outed by a person who has power over them#just a wee bit triggering
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#unfortunately i dont have anything to show you foday#or anything particular to tell you either#so how about you look at this flower i bought at the local store and i think about what to say along the way#actually the employee at the store gave me a discount#every time i buy flowers im forced to participate in human interactions with strangers and remember that we live in a society#i think now that summer is over and the grass is no longer that green and touchable we should buy flowers from time to time to remain sane#i had to take a break from meds for a few days last week and it went rather ok. except i was bawling my eyes out at every given opportunity#you know. there is actually a game that keeps making me cry even when i cant really physically do it#its not really that sad. i would say that the main genre of this game is actually comedy. but the topics raised in dialogues wreck my brain#i dont really feel anything at all while reading the text or anything like that. i dont ecen think about it that much#but every now and then i feel the wetness on my hands and realize i've been crying for a while because of what read there#thats how i cry 99% of the time since the day i was born and i didnt really think anything about it untill now#my psychiatrist told me i have severe problems with dissociation and recognising my own emotions#but a few days ago i was watching some silly local soap opera in the background (im binging this stuff its iconic) & it broke my brain#the raised topics in the series triggered me this much i felt The Pain™. idk how to describe it rather then The Pain™ lol#now im back on meds and i dont feel anything at all again. this or my ability to recognise my own emotions just went down to 5% again#sometime i dream of someone who would posses my brain for a few minutes so that they would help me understand what i really feel#or if my reactions to life events are correct. sometimes when i think that i know exactly what i feel i stop myself and recognise#that i dont know nor understand shit#the more i think about it the more materialistic i become#you can always measure something physical. you can touch it or even search every inch of it with a magnifying glass all you want#but you cant measure the feeling#you know its really bizzare that i feel so much attraction towards poetry while having so much trouble with the concept of emotions itself#you can call me pragmatic but im too lenient for that. you can call me lenient but im too pragmatic for that. idk man. im gonna sleep now
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ugh I’m almost certainly not sleeping tonight
#stress :3 literally no clue why. just been one of those months I guess#breathing exercises are SORTA working but. ugh#wish there was more I could do about it#I’m not even actually like. stressed about anything in particular. like thought pattern wise I feel fine. i’m just otherwise having panic#attack symptoms lol. fun times fun times#I mean it’s good that there wasn’t anything that triggered me! kinda sucks that that means I can’t change anything though#ugh#it’s been SO LONG since I’ve felt anxious in this way#how did kid me deal with this this is horrible
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fun fact 12 step programs were developed by two white christian men in 1930s america
#clenching my jAW#it's so hard bc it merits a much more nuanced discussion than tumblr writ large will ever go for#12 steps work for a lot of people!#but they also don't work for a lot of people!#they were developed through a very particular lens! and a lot of it is about breaking down one's own ego#guess who doesn't have the ego of white american men in the 1930s? hmm......#nvm the religious foundation.. you can tell me that 'god' can be anything all you want but it does not erase the moral bent of the program#and then every other variation of 12 steps just copy/pastes the same fucking structure#i think they're good in the sense that it can help you find community right#and i'm not going to devalue the importance of feeling like you're not alone#but that's about theeee only thing i got out of naranon#i thought adult children of might be different but no it feels exactly the same#and it's honestly extremely triggering to read 'you have a victim mindset' when i've spent over a year's work with my therapist to finally#acknowledge myself as a victim for the first time!#fuck offfffff. okay rant over.#driveby post#addiction
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